#trying to write fast when you only know the words for some things in eng or spanish sure is A Fun Result

[lvnleah]

Roo on camp request

- roo is really nervous about the neew environment and has trouble settling when it comes to things like bed time or food because she’s quite overwhelmed.

She initially only wants to be with Beth and sometimes Leah or Lessi because she’s familiar with them but goes shy when the other England girls are around, maybe Sarina finds her special little jobs to do to help her while the girls are training and then one arvo she sees Hempo doing LEGO in the lounge area and joins in and loves it.

Thinking maybe also you could write a second part where Eng trained at Arsenal recently with the videos of the girls and Winnie. Maybe Roo tries to show everyone around because she knows where she is and Sarina told her that it’s her job to be the expert on the grounds but really Roo just spends time bringing Win into team meetings and getting chocolate biscuits from the chef that she knows well

Roo’s first england game.

find part one here!

Grace’s voice rang through the air as she playfully chased you around. “I’m gonna catch you, Roo!” she called out, her footsteps quick and light as she tried to catch up with your giggles.

You squealed and darted to the side, your little feet tapping against the floor as you tried to escape her grasp. “No! You can’t catch me!” you shouted, laughing loudly, your Twix plush clutched firmly under your arm.

“Roo, be careful, munchkin,” Beth said, her voice gentle but firm. “You’re gonna fall over if you keep running like that!”

But it was clear you weren’t paying much attention. You were too caught up in the excitement of the game. Grace stopped just as you darted in the other direction, blocking your escape route. 

“Gotcha!” she laughed, scooping you up and twirling you around. “You’re too fast for me, but I’m gonna get you next time!”

You giggled, your hands still holding tightly onto Twix. “Nooo! I’m faster!” you declared proudly as you ran over to Beth, “Mummy, te-tell Grace I’m faster!” You said, stumbling over your words as you caught your breath. 

Beth chuckled, “I think you might be faster,” she said with a wink, brushing a few strands of hair out of your face. “Maybe Grace will catch you next time.”

Grace grinned, “Uh-oh, looks like I’ve got some competition! I’ll have to try extra hard to catch you now, Roo!”

You beamed up at Beth, satisfied with her answer. “See? I am faster!” You threw your arms around Beth’s neck, pressing your cheek against her shoulder as she lifted you up into her arms. “I’m the fastest!”

Beth smiled as she adjusted you in her arms. “You’re quick, Roo. Now, let’s get ready for the trip. We’ve got a coach ride ahead, remember?”

You nodded, though your energy was still high from the excitement. It was the day before match day and the lionesses were travelling three hours down to London. Tomorrow they played the Netherlands, you had no idea who you were going to support but you were looking forward to seeing your Mamma. 

You’d been on camp now with Beth for three days and things were slowly getting better. Last night was the first night that you slept and ate properly, putting Beth’s mind at ease a little as you began to settle in more. 

You and Beth boarded the coach, Grace followed along as the group made their way to the coach. Everyone was getting settled in, and you quickly found a seat at the round table at the back, clutching Twix tightly in your lap. 

Grace sat down beside you, looking over at you with a grin. “So, how fast do you think I am?” she asked with a teasing glint in her eye.

You leaned closer to her, whispering, “Faster than Mummy!” and giggled when Grace laughed.

Beth looked over with a smile as she slid into the round bit across from you. “You two are Monkey’s,” she said fondly. “Let’s see if Grace can keep up with entertaining you on the coach huh?”

Grace plopped down across from you, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “It’s alright, Beffy. I’ll keep Roo entertained. We’re gonna be best friends by the time we get there, eh Roo?”

“Nooo!” You whined, “Buddy’s my bestie!”

Grace chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “Oh, is she now? Well, I guess I’ll just have to work extra hard to win you over, huh?”

You shook your head, holding Twix tighter. “Buddy’s my bestie! You’re third.” 

“Third?! Who’s second?”

“Monkey of course!” You giggled. 

Beth laughed from across the aisle, shaking her head at the banter between you and Grace. “Looks like you’ve got some competition, Grace. But don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll win Roo over eventually.”

Grace winked at you, leaning closer. “I’ll try my best. Maybe I'll help you colour eh?”

“Yeah!” You nodded, “We colour a unicorn together!” 

While everyone began to load onto the coach, you set out your colouring on the table and spread out all of your crayons. Everyone was scattered all over the coach but Mary, Millie, Alessia and Ella joined you, Beth and Grace at the back. It took a little bit of time for you to warm up to the all but eventually you did. 

“Mummy?” You whined, now sitting next to Beth as you looked up at her, “How much longer till I can get off?”

As the coach made its way to London, the fun of colouring began to wear off. You sighed dramatically, setting your crayon down and slumping against Beth’s arm. 

“Mummy, I’m boreddd,” you whined, drawing the word out as if the world were ending.

Beth chuckled, “Well we’ve still got an hour to go, Roo. What do you want to do now?”

You huffed, crossing your arms. “I wanna get off! Why’s London so far?”

Ella leaned over, “It’s not that far, Rory. It just feels long because you’re too excited to sit still!”

“Let’s see if we can make the time go faster. How about we play a game, huh Roo?” Mary suggested. 

Your eyes lit up at that. “What game?”

“Hmm…” Mary tapped her chin dramatically. “How about… ‘I Spy’?”

You nodded eagerly, sitting up straight. “Yes! I spy!”

Millie grinned, leaning back in her seat. “Alright then, Rory. You start.”

You looked around the coach, your eyes narrowing in concentration. Finally, you said, “I spy with my little eye… something blue!”

“Blue, huh?” Alessia said, looking around exaggeratedly. “Is it… the sky!”

“Nooo,” you said with a giggle, shaking your head.

“Is it Mummy’s jacket?” Grace guessed, pointing at Beth’s hoodie.

You shook your head again, grinning. “Nope!”

Beth raised an eyebrow. “Is it Twix’s blanket?”

“Yesss!” you said, holding up Twix and the small blue blanket tucked under his arm.

“Good one, Roo,” Mary said with a laugh. “Alright, my turn. I spy with my little eye… something green.”

The game continued for a while but soon your energy from earlier had completely fizzled out. You were slumped against Beth, your arms crossed tightly over Twix, and a deep pout on your face.

“Mummy,” you whined, your voice low and grumpy, “it’s taking too long. M’tired.”

Beth glanced down at you, smoothing a hand over your hair. “I know, munchkin. But we’ve only got an hour left. Why don’t you close your eyes for a bit? It’ll feel faster if you have a nap.”

You shook your head stubbornly, clutching Twix tighter. “No! I’m m’tired anymore!”

Alessia, sitting across from you, raised an amused eyebrow. “Are you sure about that, Roo? You look a little sleepy to me.”

“I’m not!” you insisted, your voice growing louder as your pout deepened.

Beth sighed softly, glaring at Grace, who was trying to stifle a laugh. “Alright, no nap,” Beth said gently, leaning closer to you. “But maybe you can lie down for a little bit? You don’t have to sleep, just rest.”

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously, as though this was some elaborate trick. “I’m not gon’ sleep,” you muttered, shifting to lay your head on Beth’s lap.

“Of course not,” Beth said with a small smile, stroking your hair soothingly. “You can just rest, Roo. That’s all.”

But even lying down didn’t stop your frustration. After a few moments of silence, you sat up again, crossing your arms. “I’m bored, Mummy. I wanna get off!”

Beth took a deep breath, her patience unwavering. “I know, sweetheart, but we can’t get off until we’re in London. Why don’t we look out the window and see if we can spot something fun?”

“No!” you huffed, burying your face against Twix. “I don’t wanna!”

Millie, sitting nearby, leaned over with a playful grin. “Sounds like someone’s a little cranky.”

“I’m not cranky!” you snapped, glaring at her.

The team around you chuckled, and Mary leaned over from her seat. “You’re not cranky, Roo. You’re just… a tiny bit grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy either!” you shot back, your cheeks flushing with frustration. You sighed dramatically, still clinging to Twix like she was your lifeline. “I just wanna see Mamma,” you muttered, your voice quieter now.

Beth kissed the top of your head, wrapping her arm around you. “I know you do, munchkin. And you will, really soon. How about we read a story together? I think I saw your favourite book in your bag.”

You hesitated for a moment, still grumpy but tempted by the idea. “Okay,” you mumbled, snuggling closer to Beth as she reached for the bag.

As she started to read, your grumpy mood began to fade bit by bit, your eyelids growing heavier despite your best efforts to stay awake. By the time Beth reached the second page, your breathing had slowed, and Twix was loosely clutched in your arms as you finally drifted off to sleep.

Beth exchanged a small, victorious smile with everyone, brushing your hair back. “Told you she was tired,” she whispered.

The coach finally pulled into the hotel around 4 p.m., and you were still a bit groggy from your nap on Beth’s lap. Beth gently woke you, brushing a few strands of hair from your face.

“We’re here, Roo,” she said softly, kissing your forehead.

You rubbed your eyes, clutching Twix tightly as you shuffled off the coach with Beth’s hand in yours. “Mummy, where’s Mamma?” you asked, looking around the bustling hotel lobby.

“She’s on her way, Roo,” Beth assured you with a smile, ruffling your hair. “Let’s go find our room first, yeah?”

Before you could protest, you spotted Viv walking through the entrance, her suitcase trailing behind her.

“Mamma!” you squealed, letting go of Beth’s hand and darting toward Viv.

Viv’s face lit up, and she crouched down just in time to catch you in a tight hug. “Hi, mijn meisje,” she said, her voice soft and full of warmth. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, Mamma!” you said, wrapping your arms tightly around her neck.

Beth strolled over, grinning. “You’d think I’d kept her locked away for weeks, the way she’s running to you!”

Viv gave Beth a playful smile as she gave her a quick hug. “Have you been good for Mummy?”

You nodded enthusiastically. “I’ve been the fastest! I beat Grace at running!”

Beth laughed. “That’s true. She’s been a little rocket.”

The three of you made your way to the hotel restaurant for dinner. You sat between Beth and Viv, happily munching on your food while they caught up. Viv asked you about camp, the coach ride, and even what you’d been colouring earlier.

After dinner, you all headed back to Beth and your room. Viv sat cross-legged on the floor with you, helping you line up your crayons and sketch a new picture of a unicorn.

After a while, you yawned, and Viv noticed immediately. “Time for bed, liefje,” she said softly.

“Nooo,” you whined, clutching Twix. “I’m not tired.”

Beth chuckled. “You sure about that, Roo?”

Reluctantly, you let Viv guide you to bed. Her and Beth bathed you before helping you change into your pyjamas. Viv tucked you in carefully, making sure Twix was snug in your arms. Then she sat beside you, pulling out a storybook you’d brought along.

As she read, her voice calm and soothing, you felt your eyes grow heavy. “Mamma?” you murmured sleepily.

“Yes, mijn liefje?”

“You be there tomorrow?”

Viv smiled, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Of course. I’ll be with my team.”

Satisfied, you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Once you were soundly asleep, Viv joined Beth on the other bed, where they sat and talked quietly about tomorrow’s match, your antics on the coach, and how much you were growing.

“She’s got so much energy,” Viv said with a small laugh, but there was a hint of worry in her voice. “I just hope she’s not too overwhelmed tomorrow.”

Beth cuddled into her. “She’ll be fine. You worry too much, Viv. She’s tougher than you think.”

Viv smiled softly. “I know. I just want her to be happy.”

“She is,” Beth said confidently. “You should’ve seen her when she spotted you earlier. That kid’s got nothing but love for you.”

Viv stayed a little longer before reluctantly getting up. She kissed Beth on the cheek and gave you one last glance before heading back to her own hotel for the night.

The morning of the match arrived, and despite the cold December air, you were already bouncing with excitement. You couldn’t wait to see Viv and Beth play, but what you were really looking forward to was wearing your mini England kit that you’d gotten a few months ago. 

Beth had been trying to convince you all morning to wear something warmer, but you weren’t having it. You proudly held up your England kit, complete with ‘Mead’ on the back, and beamed up at Beth.

“Mummy, I’m wearing this! I’m supporting you!” you declared, pulling the kit over your head before Beth could say anything else.

Beth, trying to suppress a smile, knelt down in front of you and gently tugged at the collar of your shirt. “Roo, munchkin, don’t you think we should put on something a little warmer? It’s freezing out there today!”

You shook your head stubbornly, “I wanna wear my kit! Then I’m like you!”

Beth chuckled softly, brushing a lock of hair from your face. “You’re already the fastest, Roo. But how about a jumper over your kit? It’ll keep you warm.”

You shook your head again, your face scrunched up in defiance. “No! I want to wear this like you!”

After a bit more playful back-and-forth, Beth finally got you to give in and helped you get your coat on, despite your protests. The jumper idea was still off the table, but you agreed to wear a big, fluffy scarf to keep you warm and a long-sleeved top under your shirt. You reluctantly allowed Beth to zip up your jacket, still grumbling about how you wanted to wear your kit without all the extra layers.

“You’re going to freeze, you know,” Beth teased, “Look at me, all bundled up in my nice, warm jacket. You’re going to be freezing by the time we get to Wembley.”

As soon as you stepped off the coach, the crisp December air hit your face, making you pull your scarf up a little higher. You were already buzzing with excitement for the match, but something else had your attention—Wembley. It was so big, so full of energy, and you couldn’t wait to be inside.

Beth held your hand tightly, guiding you through the hallways. Just as you passed the changing away rooms you then saw Viv. She was standing with Jill and Vic, talking and laughing near one of the entrances.

Without thinking, your little legs went into full sprint mode. Your coat flinging around as you ran, “Mamma!”

Viv, Jill, and Vic turned toward you just as you reached them. Viv’s eyes widened, a soft laugh escaping her. “Roo!” she exclaimed, bending down to scoop you up in her arms. “What’s this I see?” She asked, pointing at your England shirt.  

You grinned proudly, “I’m wearing my England shirt, but I cheer for you both! Mummy says I need my coat and scarf though.”

Viv smiled, holding you tightly. “It’s freezing out there. You don’t want to catch a cold, do you?” she teased gently, adjusting the scarf around your neck.

Jill and Vic laughed, and Jill raised an eyebrow. “Seems like you’ve got some competition now, huh?” she said with a grin.

You nodded seriously, holding your ground. “Mummy plays for England, and you play for the Netherlands, but I still cheer for you, Mamma!” 

Viv chuckled, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of your face. “I’m honoured, Roo,” she said, kissing the top of your head. “Are you cheering extra loud then?”

“Yep!” you said, giving Viv a big hug. “I’ll be loud, Mamma!” You giggled, “I cheer for you both!” you insisted.

Before you could respond, you felt a familiar hand tickle your shoulder. Looking up, you saw Beth’s dad, Rich, smiling down at you.

“Grandad!”

“Alright, kiddo,” he said warmly. “Time to take you up to the seats, yeah? You’ve got the best view of the pitch!”

Viv smiled at you, kissing your forehead before handing you off to Rich. “Behave yourself, Roo. We’ll see you up there later on, okay?”

You nodded enthusiastically, holding on to Rich’s hand as he led you through the hallways so you could quickly say bye to Beth before heading upstairs.

Once you reached the private box, you saw all the familiar faces. As you carefully made your way down the steps to your seats, you heard a little squeal and someone calling your name. 

“Roo!” You heard Buddy shout from Leah’s lap as you came down the stairs. 

Buddy twisted and scrambled to slide down off of Leah’s lap. Leah tried to stop her but Buddy was quick, too quick, and managed to slip off Leah’s lap. She took off toward you, her tiny legs moving so fast that it’s more of a waddle run.

Leah groaned in mock defeat. “Buddy, wait! Come back here!”

“Roo! You here!” she announced proudly like she was the one who invited you to the match.

Buddy reached you in record time, throwing her arms around you in a tight hug. “Roo here! Monks, Roo here!” she chanted happily as she looked over to Monkey. 

You laughed, wrapping your little arms around her. “Buddy!”

Leah caught up a moment later, hands on her hips as she gave Buddy a mock stern look. “You’re too quick for me, aren’t you?” she said, “What did I say about running off? Just like your big sister, you are!”

Buddy pouted dramatically, “But Roo here…” she said, like it was the best excuse in the world as she pointed at you. 

Leah sighed, shaking her head with a small smile. “Alright, alright. But you need to stay close, okay? Double trouble you both are.”

Buddy giggled, “I sit with Roo!” she declared.

You grinned and nodded. “Yeah! Buddy can sit with me!”

You and Buddy made your way down to your seats hand in hand, There were two seats between Rich and Leah with Monkey sitting on the other side of Leah. 

Buddy nodded enthusiastically as she sat down in her seat. “Cheer! Me and Roo cheer!”

Leah chuckled. “You two are gonna be loudest in the whole crowd, aren’t you?”

You and Buddy both nodded, giggling as you pointed toward the pitch. The players were warming up now, and you spotted Beth and Viv right away.

“There’s Mummy and Mamma!” you exclaimed, bouncing a little with excitement as you looked over to Rich. 

Buddy looked over to Leah. “Mummy play?”

Leah smiled softly. “Not today, Bubba. Mummy’s just here to watch like you.”

Buddy looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding seriously. “Okay. We cheer for Auntie Beffy!”

The warmups were soon over and the game started before you knew it. Beth and Viv both started on the bench much to your disliking. Your grumpiness only went up when England was down 2-0 in the 35’ minute however it soon went away once Beth was brought on in the 46’ minute just before halftime. 

“Grandad!” You said, tugging on Rich’s arm, “Grandad, look! Mummy’s comin’ on!”

Rich grinned down at you, “I see her, Roo! Make sure you wave at your Mummy.”

You stood on your tiptoes, peering over the edge of the box to get a better look at Beth on the pitch. 

Buddy, who was bouncing in her seat beside you, copied your movements. “Auntie Beffy kickball now?” she asked Leah, her eyes wide with excitement.

Leah nodded, smiling softly. “Yep, Bubba. Let’s see what she can do.”

The second half started with a renewed energy from England. Just a few minutes in, Georgia Stanway scored after Lauren James kicked the ball. As the ball soared into the net, the stadium erupted, and you and Buddy jumped to your feet, cheering as loud as you could.

“Goal! Goal!” you shouted, your voice almost drowned out by the roar of the crowd.

Buddy clapped her hands and squealed. “England score! Roo, England score!”

Rich laughed, ruffling your hair. “Told you, Roo. England’s not done yet.”

Before you could even settle back into your seat, Lauren Hemp scored in the 61st minute, bringing England level. You and Buddy went wild again, the two of you shouting and clapping so much that Leah had to remind you to sit down before you toppled over.

“Two! Two!” Buddy exclaimed, holding up her fingers to show the score. “They win now?”

“Not yet,” Leah said with a chuckle, pulling Buddy onto her lap. “But they’re doing really well. Let’s keep cheering, yeah?”

You nodded eagerly. “Mummy will win! They have to!”

The match continued, and with every near miss or tackle, you and Buddy were on the edge of your seats. When the fourth official signalled for added time, you tugged on Rich’s sleeve again. “How much time, Grandad? They need to win!”

“Just a few minutes, Roo. Let’s see if they can do it.”

As the clock ticked into the first minute of stoppage time, Ella Toone received a perfect pass from Lauren James. You could barely sit still as she took the shot, the ball flying past the goalkeeper and into the net.

“Yes!” you screamed, jumping up and down. “They winning now!”

Buddy was just as loud, “England win! Auntie Beffy best!”

Leah laughed, pulling Buddy back down into her seat. “Alright, alright, settle down, you two. The game’s not even over yet.”

But it didn’t matter to you and Buddy. You were both too excited. When the final whistle blew, confirming England’s 3-2 victory, you turned to Rich with the biggest grin on your face.

“Mummy won! Grandad, Mummy won!” you said, throwing your arms around him.

Rich chuckled, “That’s right, Roo. Your Mummy did an amazing job.”

You beamed, already bouncing with anticipation. “Can we go see Mummy and Mamma now?”

“Let's give them a bit of time, yeah?” Rich said as you slipped off of his lap, “How about I get you some food? You’re bound to be hungry! Then we can take it down to Mummy and Mamma.”

You nodded eagerly, food always sounded like a good idea after all the excitement. “Okay! But quick, Grandad! I wanna see Mummy and Mamma soon!”

Rich chuckled, getting up and taking your hand “What do you fancy, Roo? Hot dog? Chips?”

“Chips!” you said enthusiastically. “And ketchup!”

Once you had your chips in hand, Rich led you back toward the players’ area. You could barely contain your excitement as you approached the tunnel, the smell of ketchup on your chips almost forgotten in your hurry to see Beth and Viv.

When the security guard finally let you through, you spotted Beth first. She was talking to Viv in the tunnel, a big smile on her face as they stood near the bench. The moment Beth saw you, her face lit up.

“There’s my girl!” Beth called out, opening her arms just in time for you to run straight into them.

“Mummy!” you shouted, wrapping your arms tightly around her neck. “You won!”

Beth laughed, squeezing you close before pulling back to kiss your cheek. “I did, Roo! Did you like the game?”

You nodded enthusiastically. “It was the best! I cheered so loud with Buddy!”

Viv looked at you as she ruffled your hair. “I’m starting to think I’ve lost you to England, Roo!”

You blinked up at her, frowning in confusion. “Lost me? I’m right here, Mamma!”

Beth chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I think she means your football allegiance, Roo.”

Viv nodded, “Exactly. Look at you, cheering your little heart out for England. What about the Netherlands, hmm? I’ll eventually make you a Netherlands supporter—you’ll see.”

You gasped dramatically, “No way, Mamma! I’m England forever!”

“Forever, huh?” Viv teased, arching an eyebrow. “And what about me? Your Mamma?”

Beth smirked, clearly enjoying Viv’s playful frustration. “Looks like you’re outnumbered, love.”

“Guess I’ve got to start a project to get you to be a Netherlands supporter, huh?” Viv chuckled, tickling your side. 

“Mmm, not sure about that one!” Beth laughed, “Roo seems pretty determined to be an England fan! Maybe you’ll get one of our future kids to be a Netherlands supporter, eh?”

“I’m England, Mamma!” You giggled, wrapping your arms around Viv’s legs, “But I still love you! An’ I’ll cheer for you when you don’t play England!”

“Alright, I suppose I can live with that,” she said, bending down to scoop you up into her arms. “As long as you promise to cheer really, really loud for Mamma when I play. Deal?”

You grinned, throwing your arms around her neck. “Deal! But only when it’s not against England!”

Beth laughed, shaking her head. “You’re fighting a losing battle, Viv. England’s got her heart.”

“We go now?” You sighed, resting your head against Viv’s shoulder. 

“Is someone getting tired?” Beth teased, tickling your stomach. 

You giggled, squirming in Viv’s arms as Beth playfully tickled you. “I’m not tired!” you protested, though your yawn betrayed you. 

Beth chuckled, placing a kiss on your cheek. “Alright, I think it’s time we get you back to the hotel. We’ll have a nice warm bath and some snacks, and you can tell us all about how loud you were cheering with Buddy. Sound good?”

You nodded, still half-dazed with excitement. “Yeah! I wanna tell Mamma everything! We were the loudest, Mamma!”

Beth chuckled, ruffling your hair. “I have no doubt about that. You and Buddy make quite the team.”

Viv nodded with a grin. “You two are unstoppable.”

Viv handed you over to Rich while her and Beth went to go and get changed. You headed into a lounge for the family and friends of the two teams and happily ate your chips there while waiting. 

Beth and Viv gave you the option of going back on the coach with either of them and you chose to go with Viv. As Viv carried you out of the stadium and onto the coach, your head rested comfortably on her shoulder, the excitement of the day still buzzing in your chest, but sleep was beginning to take over. The soft hum of the world around you felt peaceful, and soon you were drifting off, knowing the day had been perfect.

[dragon-queen21]

HI ! back again, im sorry for the lack of closure of my last ramble, i was going through it and just couldnt write anymore (im fine now!) i apologize for that and all the typos. i didnt get to re-read it before i submitted it.

-Im actually half hispanic too! twins! but your right, i can definitely see ace being pretty good at spanish, and luffy knowing a selective amount. luffy can hold a conversation but hes not going to start speaking it fluently out of nowhere. all his crew can speak the same language, and robin is always there if someone else doesnt speak what they are, so he definitely wouldnt have as much practice as if he were still living in the goa kingdom.

-kinda odd hc but for some reason i also feel like spanish would be his first language considering his island would be located in brazil and then he was taught english by maybe garp? or makino? (or would it be japanese? sorry i watch in dub) and shanks was the one who taught him more of eng/jp (like slang, nicknames, etc) and ge eventually just picked it up more and like you said his spanish got really rusty

-imagine that when ace luffy and sabo were kids luffy tried to teach them eng/jp. it was actually going pretty good until the 3 of them started spurting out pirate lingo when garp was around.

now fast forward imagine little luffy with ace and luffy starts trying to teach ace eng/jp and ace is pretending to learn it all again to make him happy aweeeee

-Now back on captain smoker, luffy somehow gets smoker to carry him or hold his hand (the fear of being alone is insane) and smoker is PRAYINGG his men dont find him. theyd totally tattle on him

imagine luffy getting upset because they cant find his crew and smoker is trying his boy scouts best to calm him down. smoker is sweating BULLETS on the hunt for these strawhats (all of a sudden when he needs them theyre not causing a rucus) (smoker ends up getting luffy like candy or something to try and chill him out)

smoker gives luffy back to the crew and theyre all debating whether or not to tell smoker that luffys actually a baby right now (they end of giving him their gratitudes and booking it for the time being, knowing luffy, theres gonna be a next time.)

-i also wanna drop what if shanks were with luffy if he were regressed? how would that come about? maybe luffy regresses after not seein shanks for ten years and shanks is just like “this checks out” and treats him how he used to ? him and shanks’ crew all just chill with little luffy, i find that ADORABLE. (luffy and usopp regress together on the red force and yasopp gets to treat his son, like the child he left banchina with) (sorry im a believer that usopp doesn’t absolutely HATE his dad)

-babyspace luffy being babied by shanks (and the crew) because everyone in the one piece world just KNOWSSSS dragons a dead beat, and theres no way garp coddled this kid HE WOULDNT BE SEEN DEAD

wow can you believe this and my last submission was supposed to be about sanji? luffy stole the spotlight

okay this is getting way to long i fear, but thank you for continuing to read and answer my rambles, i mean when i say that it means a lot to me. and in your last-last reply to me, im happy that i can make your day. i hope these continue to do so. thank you so much🤍

and i wanna say this, dont ever feel that you need to answer my asks, i understand that i write a lot, i dont ever want to overwhelm you.

📷

Eh first of all,don’t worry about any typeos, have you seen my writing even proof reading I struggle man ;-; I’m just glad you’re feeling better <3

Second; eyyy twins!!! :D

~Mkay but I will raise you one, Luffy ‘teaching’ Ace swear words and then being like “bu’ you can’t say those cause den Sanji and Nami get angry if you says.”

“trying his boy scouts best”

<- XD I love that. Poor guy. The ONE time not a single thing is happening anywhere!

~Smoker offering to buy Luffy cotton candy when he sees a sweets stand, only has the regressor crying more, babbling something about a… Chopper??? And he’s so confused. Kids like candy. What the heck?!

~ I can imagine meeting up with Shanks and a conversation going something like this.

“Uh captain, you aren’t wondering what’s happening to Luffy or if this is like- a devil fruit affect?”

Shanks meanwhile with a toddler regressed Luffy clinging to his side

“Nah, seems normal to me”

~Usopp would definitely be shy around his father. Sticking towards Luffy and following his lead.

~Let Luffy be spoiled! He needs the love and attention that he gives others.

“Luffy stole the spotlight”

<- As he often does. You know I started a fic with Nami and Usopp and it slowly just evolved to just start focusing on Luffy. It just can’t be helped sometimes :3

I love answering these! I literally got home and was like :0 :D new message!! They don’t overwhelm me at all. As long as you’re okay with me taking a couple days to respond :3

<3<3<3

[theheavenlymoon]

I totally did this out of order, so let’s try this again!

I would like you to meet Uzuki Hanako! (うづき- Uzuki はなこ- Hanako)

(My first introduction was a hot mess, so I wanted re edit that one and put up this one instead!)

(I can’t draw for crap so I’m using picrew.)

This will basically be me talking about her rather than all the fandoms she’s in. I’m gonna be making post about her and the fandoms later, but for now it’s all about her!

First Name: Hanako

Last Name: Uzuki

Gender: Female

Race: Demigod

Age: ??? (Depending on the fandom, her age changes)

Birthday: December 27

Zodiac: Capricorn

Height: 6’3.3

Sexuality: Bisexual

JP CV: Ami Koshimizu

ENG CV: Amanda Céline Miller

FRENCH CV: Indila

(Couldn’t find a Greek CV 😔)

Nicknames: Shachi-chan (Floyd), Child of Hearth (Malleus), Ms.Herbivore (Leona), Princess, Wifey (Gojo)

Favorite food: Cheesecake, literally anything sweet

Least favorite food: Hummus, mushrooms, candy, and beans

Likes: family/friends, cooking, singing really loud to her music, working out, making clothes, nail polish, memes/vines, rain/cloudy weather, animals, purple, doing anything around the house, video games, anime, fictional books, roughhousing, and day dreaming about her crush/significant other

Dislikes: Fights between friends and family, Candy, crying in front of people, and bookshelves

Since I can’t draw I have to use picrew, but sadly some of the makers that I find have limited options so allow me to go into detail about her looks. (I’ll probably make another post about her abilities later)

Hanako has bright gold eyes and long lavender hair that goes all the way down to her mid thigh. She has two beauty marks, one under her right eye and one on the left side of her lip. Her signature hair style is space buns with the rest of her hair down in the back. Like I’ve said before, I can’t draw so I’m using characters I know as reference! This is what her body looks like.

(^ This is Flare, a character from fairy tail! I recommend watching it if you have time. Fairy tail is a very long series, but it’s really good!)

(I’m pretty sure you can look at almost all the women in Fairy tail and get the idea.)

Obviously I know that Hestia doesn’t have any demigod kids but demigods don’t have to be born the normal way. Hanako was born from fire and was given to her father. With that being said, when Hana was first claimed she was given a fire place poker but traded it in for a sword so she it could help control her pyrokinesis. (Her sword is disguised as a charm bracelet!)

As for her sword...

Hana’s sword helps her control her pyrokinesis a little better and it’s fun to try and see who can pick it up. Her sword can reach up to about 2000°F (1093°C). She has a few special moves but those are for another time.

Although Hana acts like her mom in some moments, she met Apollo and Hermes when she was quite young and those two have had a big impression on her personality. One moment she giving motherly advice, and the next moment she screaming vines across the room.

Random facts about Hanako 🌸✨

Since Hana means flower I use cherry blossoms and lavender to represent her.

Has a huge soft spot for children!

Hanako is super understanding and open. Wanna try something new? She’ll come with you, so you aren’t lonely and scared. Skydiving? What time are we leaving? Want to be left alone? Call her if you need something! Wanna try working out? She’ll be your personal trainer! Feeling down? She’s coming over with movies and snacks! Can’t make it to game night? It’s alright just be safe with whatever your doing!

Once Hanako falls, she falls hard.(Romantically speaking) She is a SIMP. She’ll wear the most giddiest smile after talking with them. Probably screamed in her pillows at least a few times. “They make my heart beat so fast, and they make me feel like the happiest girl in the world!!” - Hanako.

Attempts her best not to be obvious about her crush, and for the most part it works. Until anything other than platonic stuff comes up. Her face is gonna turn crimson if ANYONE mentions her crush in not so platonic ways, gods forbid anything even more intimate. Children of Hestia are so shy when the idea of sexual things is even bought up that they blush deeply and cannot articulate any coherent words, and any fire nearby also turns crimson as if it were blushing like the child of Hestia. This shyness is amplified if they are around their crush.

Gets kind of anxious when she’s beside a bookshelf.

She’s a smart ass. It’s gotten to the point where she does it automatically. It doesn’t even have time to process, it just comes out.

Hana is actually really good at acting and singing. She was in a few commercials and videos when she was younger but only as background characters.

Hana is amazing with kids. She grew up with 3 little brothers before she was moved into the orphanage, which meant even more kids to watch over. (she takes her big sister role very seriously)

Since she was born from fire, she can raise her body temperature up if she wanted too, and she rarely gets hot or cold. Heat based attack have no effect on her. Hana’s hugs feel like a warm blanket wrapped around you while sitting next to a fireplace, all in all just really comforting

Hana grew up around a lot of guys and so she calls everyone ‘bro’ and ‘dude’ a lot. She has a few friends who are girls but most of them are guys. That being said, she grew up rough housing and yelling.

Hana also comes from a very affectionate family. (Hugs, kisses, feeding food to each other, smashing food into someone’s face, etc.) So it’s not uncommon to see Hana tackle all of her friends into hugs and kisses.(platonically)

Hana also likes to tease a lot (curtsy of Hermes) so don’t be surprised when she tease about you burning food.

Is super flexible. I’m talking like, Mitsuri flexible. Her friends have at least saw her in the scorpion pose a few times. The more flexible she is, the easier it is to move in battle.

The woman is a tree. I’m pretty sure all of her lovers (with the exception of Gojo) are shorter than her.

She can not, for the life of her, wear heels. Anything above a 3 inch that isn’t thick, would make her snap an ankle. Besides she’s already tall enough

In terms of anger, Hana has the patience of a saint. She still gets annoyed here and there, but very rarely does she get genuinely angry. On the rare occasion that she is angry, she gets pretty violent. Veins showing from her forehead, her body temperature spikes, and she wears one of the most nastiest glare ever. (from what she’s been told) Only a select few have seen her mad.

When thrown into a new situation (or a new world-) that isn’t familiar, Hana will come off a bit sarcastic (more than usual) and aloof. She wants to get a feel for her surroundings before she can actually be herself. Give her some time to come around and she’ll be back to hyper and happy.

Hana has a bunch of hobbies. She plays volleyball and is known as the queen of the court. She loves to paint her fingernails and her toes as well. Her cooking is top tier! As a Hestia child obviously she would excel at anything that has to do with domestic and home type things.

She 100% would/will make her own dress. Once made a huge ball gown dress because none of the place had what she was looking for.

When she isn’t doing any of her hobbies she’s working out and practicing her pyrokinesis. Hana trained a lot back where she was from, so she could master her pyrokinesis and her sword. She’s gotten to the point where she can lift a car. Just because she’s in a different place doesn’t give her the excuse to slack off!!

Ironically her mother is a virginal goddess and isn’t married to anyone. Hana on the other hand, wants to get married and have kids. She shooting for 4 but it all depends on what her partner wants. (2,6,8 it just depends)

Hestia children can induce serenity and make tense situations a lot more calmer. Hanako has defeated a lot of enemies and monsters this way.

Hanako knows 4 different languages. English, Japanese, Greek, and French. She was taught Japanese by her father and Greek by her mother. She learned French and English herself

Even though Hana loves to do girly things, makeup is not one of them. She always thought it was pretty cool but she never had the time to sit down and practice it.

Thank you for reading✨ I had a lot of fun making this and I can’t wait to write more stuff about her! I’ll probably have to learn how to make a master post so her stuff is easier to access. If you have any questions about Hana my inbox is open, or you can message me in private, either way works!

I hope you stick around for more content with Hanako! 🌸🔥✨

[rigelmejo]

march - just some thoughts

i have read more this month than any other month? and its not slowing down its only 3/12 so i have 2/3 of a month to go and i’ve read 26 chapters. even if these chapters are ‘short’ at 10 pages, if i wanna count by ‘20 page’ chunks i’ve still read 13 chunks so far. and i’ve still got more time in the month left. most other months i’ve managed to read ‘a lot’ i read 10-20 chapters. so i’m doing really good.

grammar is a weird thing? in reading i feel like its quite easy now to understand. when listening or watching - same. and yet if asked ‘why do i say/type X’ or ‘why is it written/spoken like X’ i have absolutely no explanation in my head. i could not explain the grammar if prompted. this puts me in a weird place and i feel like i SHOULD go over a grammar guide again just so i can WORD what i’m intuitively understanding.

this is a bit bizarre to me because within the first 6 months of study i DID read through an entire grammar guide just to get an idea of what i was about to look at, and it hardly made sense once actually reading/watching/listening. i understood the guide fine, but actually Seeing chinese i was still confused. i would reference AllSetLearning’s Chinese Wiki on some basic points, then after 6 months i just stopped. now its been what 1.5 years and - reading is so easy, listening is so easy, grammar wise. none of the grammar confuses me. but i no longer ‘explicitly’ have any idea what the fuck the grammar is. i used to. i studied it explicitly before trying to read/listen. and yet now that i can read/listen, i have no idea how to explain the grammar. i can listen to a podcast and i don’t think about what the grammar is i just get it. i read and just know what i’m looking at. its like english - i cannot fucking explain it. Which makes speaking/writing a bit hard. Because when i try to check if i’m right i have no fucking clue HOW anymore - i just say/write what comes to mind and HOPE it makes sense. i have no way to conciously check for errors except ‘does this feel right’? And that’s not good enough for me lol. So I definitely do need to eventually read a grammar guide for explicit explanations again.

Technically I think “English and Chinese Grammar Side By Side” grammar book would be an excellent one to use. Because i read the first 50 pages of it and it compared it to english (so it explained english too), and it was very easy to understand and started basic then got more involved. 

I’m probably gonna use my very old Chinese Grammar Self Taught by Thimm book instead. Just because I really like that book. Then I guess use another after (probably Basic Chinese Sentence Patterns since its modern and perfect for ‘catch your own mistakes’ study and much shorter than Eng+Chinese Grammar side by side). 

Anyway I’m in a very weird place right now lol. I know i’m understanding grammar that is stuff I never even studied initially in the grammar guide, but unable to explain what it is, and a lot of stuff i did explicitly study in a grammar guide i completely forgot the explanation for. My reading and listening is GREAT, because all my effort only has to go into learning new words lately! its relaxing! Its the only part i need to do! But my writing/speaking i am very concerned about because being able to check myself for mistakes is something i’d like the ability to do.

how grammar is presented really makes a difference in how well i get it. there is some serious benefit to ‘show simple first then build up what you know’ that text books tend to prefer. versus like grammar reference books that may start with some in depth stuff.

i tried to read a japanese grammar guide the other day and 1 it was great but 2 it covered some ADVANCED stuff i never learned in genki 1+2, and so it was Explicit grammar description of stuff i had literally years ago been immersing in japanese and Still not conciously known about. So i felt. Overwhelmed lol. I felt so confused. I feel like I might switch to Tae Kim’s grammar guide primarily just because its structured with basics covered first. and i feel like until the basics are again glued into my brain, seeing even more advanced stuff just confused me so much i had no idea how to remember it. which is funny because? my usual strategy with grammar guides is to just read it and let what sticks stick and what is confusing be moved on from, in the hope i will later see it again and understand it better. so like based on what i usually do i should’ve just been able to read through it (and i’m gonna try anyway lol). but truly japanese grammar just... my mind does not like wrapping around it and remembering it. (chinese grammar is so much easier for me... so much easier....;-; )

i have been tempted to just Restart Nukemarine’s LLJ (Lets Learn Japanese) memrise decks, because I KNOW they worked for me last time really really well. And they include Tae Kim grammar lessons. And I know if i did it then maybe i’d get back to where i was years ago pretty fast.

I tried Earthlingo app. Its a cool idea, I don’t think its worth it though unless you planned to get Rosetta Stone (since Earthlingo is FREE). Earthlingo features 1000 words per language, taught to you by exploring video game worlds as an alien. Its a cool concept, but since all words seem to be nouns then you aren’t even learning the most common verbs/adjectives. And 1000 words is not a lot. And you could learn 1000 quite fast if using srs flashcards like Memrise or Anki (think weeks if you push yourself, and a month or two months if going at a regular pace). Earthlingo you have to slowly explore the worlds so that eats time, you have to choose to test yourself (so you don’t review nearly as often as flashcard apps), and one test includes walking around the world clicking the object which you’re given the word for (takes time to find the right object). All this means a word that might take maybe 15 minutes to study over a few weeks, might instead take much longer to study and learn. I don’t use duolingo because it generally covers so few words (usually 2000-4000 i think which is good for a beginner resource but you have to do the WHOLE course to get to all those words and i take so long on duolingo that could take YEARS for me versus a month on a flashcard app or clozemaster). Duolingo I also don’t use because it very slowly paces learning material (it takes me months/years to get through 1000 words on duolingo - just personally i go so slow on it, i think faster people would find a use for it). Likewise Lingodeer takes me AGES to get through (and i think covers 2000 words nowadays? I’m shocked Duolingo has more words for the japanese course tbh). However, Lingodeer is by far the best ‘app’ for Japanese grammar lessons in app practice form. Even if basically all the apps feel pretty slow to me in how fast they give you new info. Earthlingo is cool that its free, and for learners 12 and under i think it would be super useful as a way to engage them and keep them studying (since what child likes flashcards? whereas as a child i would’ve loved this). But as an adult Earthlingo is sooooo slow on how fast you can learn words, and it does not even offer very many words (1000 is a nice bare minimum but without verbs/adjectives it can only be a supplementary learning tool for beginners at best).

Link about Lingodeer having 2000 words in a course. (Since its SO hard to lookup how much vocabulary lingodeer includes :c )

Nukemarine’s LLJ memrise decks (which I’m considering going through again but ToT agh flashcardssssss.... they sure do work though agh)

http://www.chinese-grammar.com/beginner/ - this is the site I read a chinese grammar guide on at like Month 3. I am rereading it now maybe it will help me remember wtf grammar explicitly is. ToT (A tip, read Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced sections). Last time I visited the site you just clicked a section, then saw each fully explained grammar point and clicked ‘next’ it was nice. Now its laid out a little less ideal for me, but its still got all the same nice info! (Also honestly if you are a beginner I really DO like this grammar guide... it introduces basic info first, gradually gets more complex, and i could follow its logic knowing like 200 hanzi and 100 words ToT. its very easy to understand even if it takes a while to apply that info).

im probably gonna read hanshe more today. i’m at the point where either i know enough vocab, or the writers style has just ‘clicked’ idk. but now i just am not getting bogged down by unknown words and am just. speeding through enjoying the plot. Also rip me this novel has 155 chapters and im only on chapter 30.

watching japanese lets plays is really fun! i feel like im 3 years old cause i just see nouns i can learn pretty easy in context cause i know the game well, and hear some vaguely familiar verbs, but its fun! also it helps i know kingdom hearts 2 like by heart so. a lot of it makes me instantly cheerful and nostalgic. roxas’s voice is so cute in the japanese version.

oh i almost forgot: I found a book recently for chinese that for it’s like 10 page grammar guide summary at the beginning ALONE i think is more than worth the 4 dollars it costs to get. It has a ton of compound words and its a reference book in mandarin and cantonese (it has pronunciation for both, all characters are in traditional). I got it initally because it as a bunch of compound words and I’d like to get better at knowing a lot of common ones. But the intro to the book has a page explaining sentence structures in chinese, then examples. Its so straightforward and to the point. I love it. The book is “Understanding Chinese: A Guide to the Usage of Chinese Characters” by Rita Mei-Wah Choy. (There is also a companion book for individual hanzi, which is nice but this book specifically I’m finding more useful).

what i really like about Listening-Reading method, and reading, as study activities: no matter how I do them it is only improvement. I have a tendency to ‘redo’ material i don’t feel i fully mastered, or refuse to move on. So when i have duolingo, flashcards (sometimes i can move on if i ignore reviews/make myself do new stuff), books, grammar guides, self guided classes - i have a tendency to redo the material. over and over. and not progress and challenge myself. whereas with reading - every time i look up a word its useful because its new or something i clearly Need to review (not something i’ve actually learned and can move past reviewing). so whether i reread material or read new stuff, as long as i run into things i find somewhat challenging (feel the desire to word look up), i know i am running into new material i can learn. Same with listening-reading method: whether i finish a book or just skip to random books, any new chapter i do will give me new words to learn/remember (until i’ve reached a point of perfect listening comprehension which is a WAYS away). There’s no way for me to mess it up. I can give up a book im bored with, i don’t have to stick to one resource to the end. 

someone tell me why professionally made chinese audio books almost NEVER line up to the chapters???? whyyyyy ;-;

Even More Notes lol:

So I read so much in Pleco, which auto pronounces, I have COMPLETELY forgot. 得 地 - for these two, when they’re attached after a description like 淡淡 慢慢 高兴 etc, when are they pronounced di versus de???? i’m pretty sure  得 is pronounced de when its an adjective like ‘-ly’. but for  地, i don’t remember if when part of a describer if its pronounced di or de????

[armyhome]

Make it Right | Kim Seokjin| Eng

⇢ pairing: Seokjin x Reader.

⇢ genre: Cute, sad, funny, healing.

⇢ word count: 5.5K

⇢ warnings: Maybe this will make you dream with eyes open.

⇢ Portuguese version: Make it Right (PT-BR)

When (We met for the first time)

I remember very well how it was the first time we met, I mean when I met him. Grandpa put a bowl of Jjajjangmyun in front of me, the smell was amazing, he smiled at me, we had decided to do a gastronomic backpack in Asia two years ago, to celebrate my high school graduation and we finally started it, last week in Yokohama Japan. Now we were in Seoul, Korea, then we would go to Taipei, Taiwan.

              -I want you to learn to identify nuances, even with strong flavored foods! Ready Sol? - He raises the chopsticks and I raise mine - Lets Go!

              The thickness and texture of the noodles in Asia was different, probably because of how it was prepared, did the black bean paste have a bittersweet flavor? Perhaps because of the mixed red meat, I had never eaten a bean that was sweet ... My analysis is interrupted by a boy drawing on my face.

              He was not drawing literally on my face, but on the mirrored glass in front of me, he was accompanied by two more friends in the prank, he drew a rose, like that of Beauty and the Beast. We could be the inverted version of the fairy tale, because that boy was so beautiful that even if I were even remotely beautiful.... He stops drawing and looks at his work of art. At that moment it seemed that he could see through the mirror and could see my eyes staring with a piece of macaroni out of the mouth with bean paste in her corner, my heart giving a jolt and choking.

              Grandpa gives me a glass of water I try, drink it but the cough stops me, the man who took care of the cashier gets up because of the noise I was making and ends up seeing the boys, I finally manage to drink a big sip of water, ceasing my near death, when I look at the street again, only the rose was the owner screamed in front of the restaurants did not understand things, Grandpa gives slaps.

              - Eat slowly, Sol! You look like me when I met your grandmother ...- He ends up laughing, my cheeks are burning as if there is fire running under her skin, the idea of falling in love at first sight was ridiculous , I had just been enchanted by the boy's beauty.

              - Have you always been so romantic , Grandpa? - He nods smiling - Wow, Grandma is a lucky woman! - I say and eat again.

              -Who knows that boy can't be lucky too? - He wasn't going to give up, he needed to distract him with something that really changed his focus.

              -Grandpa... this pasta is really different, texture, taste .... How to do it?

              -Then during the preparation of the dough ...

When (We know each other)

              Ten years later

I walked into Enrico's restaurant, he really had found a nice spot in New York to open it. The rent for that penthouse two blocks from Times Square should be at least a left kidney!

 The location was beautiful, one part was open and there was AN ARTIFICIAL LAKE! Who had Enrico killed to achieve this ? Metri asks to guide me to where he was, I just nod, I can't remember how to speak english, that place was a palace , where he had learned so much about oriental interior design?

              As soon as he sees me, Enrico gets up from the table and walks up to me with open arms smiling, I hurry up the steps and the hug, which I miss my friend.

              -Who did you kill to have this here? - I whisper to him.

              -As I am not a murderer, I ended up giving the blow to the chest - He points to the boy at the table, he looked like an MMA fighter because of his big and strong body, but his face was kind as a child's when he sees me smiles and his eyes become a fine line, he beckons us - Come on, you need to meet Jaemin and his friends! They are famous, can you believe? I doubt you know who they are, after all you live locked up in restaurant kitchens around the world and writing on that blog.

              -You mean, that blog that can destroy your restaurant's reputation with just a few words? Didn't even debut and already wants to close the doors Erinco Vigolini? - He looks at me with wide eyes.

              -Who taught you to be a snake like that? - I pointed to him who puts his hand on his chest, pretending indignation and then smiles - Okay, that may be a little true!

              Their table was in an open area , it was summer in NY and there was little wind, at most it had a brief breeze, they were all talking, but when Jaemin got up to greet me, everyone turned to do the same.

              My eyes must be broken, I can't believe it, it's not possible, a decade later, I'm facing that boy, now a man, in front of me the difference is that now he can see me. His hair was pink, it matched the delicate features of his face, he smiled kindly at me, I sat facing him, if my heart beat a little faster I would die.

              -Enrico talked a lot about you Sol - Jaemin begins - He told me that you are a very important gastronomic critic in the culinary world and that is why he became your friend in college, for you to give high marks to our restaurant! - Enrico gives a playful slap on the shoulder - She knows it's a joke love!

              -Enrico knows how fair I am in all my criticisms , regardless of my personal connection with the person and that my criticisms have no intention of hurting or belittling the owner, but that he self-evaluates and makes improvements that he may not have noticed because he is so immersed in the project, I usually send a summary of the criticism first to the owner then put it in full on the site ...

              -See Jaemin, I'm a friend of an angel! - They cross their arms and Jaemin lays his head on Enrico's.

              -I think we will be a little excluded from the conversation now - Comments one of the boys in Korean.

              -Sorry - We asked Jaemin and I at the same time, they looked at me in amazement.

              -Since when do you know Korean? - Asks Enrico.

              -I learned during high school, I was hoping to meet someone but, I didn't know if he would know English, so I decided to learn her native language to make sure we could talk! - Enrico claps enthusiastically.

            -I don't believe that Sol Macedo's heart of ice ever had anyone inside! - I roll my eyes and take a glass, Jaemin pours me some wine.

              -Enrico told me that everyone here is famous, what do you do?

              I believe that in this world there were no people more excited about what they did and more kind, they performed one by one, including Seokjin, so they told me about their songs and performance with such education and happiness, Enrico made sure to score all the records of the seven boys in front of me but, the simplicity that emanated from them made it difficult for me to assimilate them into popstars, I can't stop looking at him every thirty seconds, breathe Sol, now he is a superstar, your life runs in ways very different.

              -Is that you? How is the life of a critic ? - He, Seokjin, asks.

              - Hum, sometimes it is difficult to choose the right words, to not deeply offend someone and also, some people are not willing and know themselves and do not take what I have to say seriously, prefer to blame the fail on business on me them have not worked or grown but, food is not just about something that was written on my website, not everyone reads, in fact only those who know the branch are aware of my website and some passionate, but with so much fast food, people no longer cares about food made by real people... But I have my personal rewards, like now, I'm in a beautiful restaurant, eating the best of Korean cuisine, with the biggest boyband today ...

              -It's GROUP, not boyband! - Corrects Enrico.

              -The biggest male group of Korean pop music - I correct myself being extremely emphatic in every word, making everyone at the table laugh, I tie my hair in a ponytail, when I raise my arms and the sleeve goes up revealing my tattoo , which was not small , why did I make that rose covering half of my forearm?

              -Does it mean something? - Seokjin asks with a raised eyebrow, is it not possible that he remembered it?

              -Hyung looks like those drawings you did everywhere! - Affirms Namjoon, thanks man, thank you for sinking me into shit for good! -Seriously, he drew this all over Seoul!

              -Oh, what a coincidence, it was there that I got the idea of ​​this tattoo, ten years ago my grandfather and I did a gastronomic backpack, I saw a rose like this drawn in the restaurant we went to! - I speak quickly as if I were narrating a football match, and have a glass of wine at once.

              -Come on, kids, it's time for Kina Grannis to perform in there, everyone already eaten right? - Enrico called.

              He takes us to the opposite side to where we were , we were at the far end of the people who were dining there downstairs, did I say that this place was incredible ? Enrico should be charging a fortune for each dish! Kina was a special attraction, she was elegant as the whole environment but she was, only she and her guitar which brought a touch of simplicity, when she started singing Can't Help Falling In Love, everyone in the room made "own" together .

              Jaemin and Enrico danced together, would that ever be? For so long I waited for when I graduated, to have a good job, a boy who drew a rose for me ten years ago who has now become a completely untouchable person ...

              -I remember you - Whispered in my ear, he puts both hands in the pockets of the beige blazer he wore, leans over and repeats - I remember you Sol! That day, I saw you and your grandfather, taking a picture in front of the restaurant! Did you see me drawing on the mirrored glass?

              I can't feel my legs... help. 

When (We fall in love)

   Five months later

              I go into the kitchen and find Seokjin without a shirt, yes, cooked, imagine if a drop of the hot oil in which he was sautéing the rice falls on that smooth, smooth skin of him, he turns in my direction, I jump to him, I am very in love on that man. He uses his left arm to wrap my waist on tiptoe and he bends me over to give me a peck.

              -Don't burn the garlic - I comment, he grimaces and goes back to cooking, I hug him and support my head and his back - How long until the comeback?

              -Love, I don't want to think about it, it's only been two days since I arrived, to think that in two weeks I'll be back to train and I won't see you for how long it hurts me - I hear him fill the pot with water and put the lid on, he then turns to me - I deeply love the army, my work and you! It hurts not to be able to reconcile the three!

              He holds my face in his hands and kisses my forehead, then rests his face on my shoulder, I kiss him on the cheek and he sighs.

              -What movie are we going to watch today? - Change the subject, I didn't want to make him sad.

              -Can we just be together today? - He says in the morning , a smile grinning.

              -Nothing against, who insists on protecting false virtues here is you! - He looks at me angrily - The speaker is not here anymore!

              He started the timer and we lay on the double bed, our 3X4 loft as I called it, because everything was in the same room, it was in Nagoya in Japan, Seokjin wanted to buy an apartment but, I had spent all my savings to open my restaurant, contrary to what many people may think, a food critic doesn’t earn much, we don’t die of hunger because we need to eat to write and usually the owner of the establishment invites us. It wouldn't be worth it either, our stuff was in Korea, we 'd only have three weeks. 

              -What was the first thing you thought of when you first saw me Sol? - Man, it was difficult to create a line of reasoning with him speaking against my neck.

              -Hum, "if my heart beats faster I might die" - He laughs, universe you are proof that I am trying not to attack this man - And you, what did you think when you first saw me?

              - "How can I tell her that we are getting married without scaring her?" - I give a slap on his arm, washed-out liar, he laughs - I am completely in love with you and that time had something in you, I can not explain without being corny, I just wanted to be able to stay there with you, looking at you! I think it was our destiny if we ended up going back to each other! - He grabs my arm and puts his thumb on my tattoo - As soon as I leave the obligatory service I'm gonna do my!

              -Will make the whole army infarct! You don't have to, this is my thing! I know how to handle bad one in Korea if you do this, it was hard to sell me the location of the restaurant! - I take her hand and give her a kiss.

            -We can make a red line on the little finger, I can use a ring or makeup to cover ...

              -You have to promise me Seokjin, it will continue to be so romantic even after we get married, I don't want to know if three hundred years have passed and our souls can't stand sharing the tomb anymore ! Kim Seokjin will always say things like that to Sol!

              -Only if you promise to look at me like that forever - He holds my earlobe between his thumb and forefinger.

              -I never learned to look at you any other way!

              He brings his face close to mine, I can feel his breath against my face, how is it possible to be so desperately in love with a person, before we could kiss the alarm warning that the rice had cooked rings. UNIVERSE STOP MAKE FUN OF ME!

When (We brake)

              A year and a half later

              I think if it had been gradually I would not be suffering so much, I know he is busy, the person busiest in the world, but it just stopped responding messages, said nothing on the day the restaurant opened, I sent a lot of messages of support when you had the comeback but, nothing, no emoji! I watched each video, looked at each photo, bought the album, cried over it, how could he lie using such sincerity? Would it be better to go home?

              No, never! I will not give up on my dream, just because of a broken heart, nobody dies of it! Whoever doesn't want me, doesn't deserve me! Focus now in a little while, I'm going to do the first television broadcast about cooking and restaurants in my life. I must be brooding over this subject, because I wanted him to be here and tell me he was rooting for me, but that's not it, period .

              I look at my reflection in the mirror, nothing can break you to the point where you stop working! You are a chef, now awarded, with a renowned restaurant in Seoul, you lead projects that propose to bring quality food to all corners of the world, especially those that have no access at all. You are a good person and you have done nothing wrong.

              -Miss Sol? We are ready to start you! - I smile and follow the boy.

              The interview went very well, the reporter makes me feel comfortable to speak, let's go from my training, my blog, the construction of my restaurant in Seoul, my projects with NGO's and if I want to marry an Korean guy it was very fun, almost like talking to one of my friends, I don’t even notice the time of the interview passing, when I find myself finished.

              I leave the studio, enter the parking lot and when I'm almost there in the car, Jungkook appears in front of me all frisky and smiling at me offering a cup of coffee, it was freezing outside so I open the car door, to enter and call the heater.

              -I missed you, Sol noona! - I smile, he was very cute.

              -I also missed you kookie, how are you?

              -I'm fine, we're going to the United States to receive an award, can you believe? - I nod, they had already won before, but now it was a prize given by an academy.

              -I am very proud and cheering for you all! - He pats himself on the head as if he was amazed at the memory of something.

              -I'll be quick, because if not soon the FBI will be looking for me - Not being dramatic at all - Hyung saw that day that the NGO's director declared to you! And in his mind, that was the best thing for you, how can he decide that on his own, I don't know? He said something about never being able to stay around for a long time, you need someone better, all this litany that I don't fall for, if it were true you wouldn't send messages to him, me and the other boys, cheering, saying that you are proud and talking who misses him for him, even after a year! He's being stupid but, it's because he loves you so much! He wants to see you one hundred percent happy! He thinks that a present boyfriend would do that .... Well let's spend two and a half weeks in the USA, it's not fair that I ask you to forgive him after he just disappears but, you two are suffering! Think about it noona, we were watching your interview hidden, you were beautiful - He gives me a kiss on the cheek - Don't tell hyung!

            -Lend me your Jungkook cell phone - He hands it to me without thinking too much, I type the number of Seokjin I know by heart, one ring, two ...

              -Junkookie where are you? The broadcast starts in twenty minutes! - I hold my heart when I hear his voice.

              -Who gave you the right to decide for me? - My voice comes out tearful, I get angry, I feel weak, no one answers on the other end of the line - Kim Seokjin answers me, I've spent more than a year dealing with your silence, not knowing what I did wrong ....

              -You did nothing wrong my love ....

              -Don't call me love, you put me in a hell Seokjin, I was banging my head against the wall wondering what had happened! Watching your videos, watching you get thinner and thinner, are you eating by any chance? Are your back hurting from training? Did you have ginger tea when you had a sore throat? You can see all of these messages on your phone later! I am so hurt, all our promises, all our confessions, on hold, because you thought you could decide what is best for me! Well here is your answer Seokjin, me in pain, heartbroken! But, even if I miss you, I won't take a step towards you! Is it your duty to clean up this mess you cause yourself do you understand?

              -Yes ... I miss you too Sol! - Your voice is choked.

              -So do something about it, but do it fast! I'm going on a mission to Myanmar in a week, I'm going to spend four months there, that's more than enough time for you to decide what you want out of your life, but I can't guarantee that I'll be here for you when I get back too! It is your responsibility now to save this relationship or let it die for good ...

              -I see, I can't love anyone but you ...

              -You'll have to prove it to me now! Since you made a point of complicating what was already difficult !

              -I promise, I will!

When (We Grow)

              Two months later

              It is one thing to see photos, videos over the internet, it is quite another to see an undernourished child feeling that a human being can break with his touch is tormenting, the civil war in that country had wiped out all drinking water resources and food, all that arrived was fifty percent confiscated by the army to keep soldiers and the other half was not enough for all civilians.

  -The supplies will run out in two days if we do nothing Sol - Sandy comments while analyzing his table, massaging his temples .

              -I can't find a solution, even if we buy food, the army will take half, we don't have enough budget to buy so much, doctors are also running out of resources ... How far has humanity come! - I throw myself in bed, besides, why is this place so hot? It's only been five seconds since I showered and I want another one.

              I open my cell phone, go on twitter, look at pictures of Seokjin and the boys, of course, I needed to distract myself a little from all that unfortunate situation , every step I took made me feel guilty for living so well and healthy , like the people who finance this war they sleep, how the lords of arms managed to kiss their wives and children at the end of the day knowing that they were supporting the death of so many people? Seokjin's name flashes on the screen as if he heard my thoughts from the United States.

              -Hiii- I force an animated voice.

              -What is happening? Are you alright? I saw in the newspaper that there was a terrorist attack today in a mosque, Sol tells me that you are fine! How long until you get out of there? You've helped enough! - He doesn't even stop to breathe .

              -I don't know if I can get out of here, it's two months before the end of the voluntary project but - I take a deep breath, I had already thought about it a few times but thinking is one thing, verbalizing, another completely different - Everything these children need to go through is so unfair, hunger, abuse, mourning after mourning, I don't know if I will be able to return to Korea in two months ... Except that I also don't know if I will be able to stay, our supplies are running out, we have no idea how to change this situation, the army takes half of everything, it's revolting! - I let some tears escape - How can I live well after knowing all this?

              -'You have no blame for the misery of these people Sol ... But I understand how you feel, at times received letters from armys or tweets of them, venting things horrible for which they have gone through or are going through, the sense of responsibility overwhelms me, I imagine that watching people go through this must be even worse, but always keep in mind Sol, it’s not your fault! - I take a deep breath, I need to absorb the information, those words are all I have.

              -How's the tour going? And the preparation for the comeback?

              We talked for so long that I end up sleeping in the middle of the conversation, my body was so tired his voice was undoing every knot inside my head that kept me awake, his physical presence or not, excited me, made me feel good things, like light from a lighthouse in the middle of the rough sea.

              -Sol, I would like to say that no matter how hard you hug this pillow, it will not become the Seokjin - Sandy comments sitting on the end of my bed - Wake up sleeping beauty, the charming prince sent you a gift , in record time! Is he a real prince ? Why in less than twelve hours!

              -What's going on Sandy? - I sit on the bed still dizzy from waking up.

              -Seokjin sent the supplies we were in urgent need, in addition to making the situation publicized by the mainstream media, food arrives from all over the world! - She puts her hand in her pocket and pulls out an envelope - This is just for you!

-Thank you - I take the envelope, inside it has a polaroid photo of us, in our 3X4 apartment, wearing matching gray sweatshirts, my heart loses time, as always when I see it, on the back of the photo it is written:

              "Maybe you love me, but I sure love you, I can make it work!"

When (We love each other) 

              Two months later I did not return to Korea .... It had been a year since that and three months since Seokjin was summoned by the Korean army, which greatly reduced our calls and messages.

              I was unable to return to Seoul, the feeling of unfinished work dominated me every time I thought about it, little by little even in the midst of the declared civil war, I was able to maintain a supply of good food. We eradicated the miserable line between children, with the help of doctors and volunteer teachers even in difficult times and having to teach children how to act when there was a shooting in the middle of the class, we had evolved a lot since we arrived.

              Today the Korean, American and Brazilian peacekeeping fleets arrived with drinking water, food, books, notebooks and medical tools, the volunteer leaders including me went to pick them up at the helipad, the sun was so strong that we could n't even see the helicopter, but the noise announced their arrival, three of them, giants landed, when the soldiers went down we helped to get things out of there.

              I took the first box of rice, analyzed its condition, the expiration dates, everything was correct, secure in the side handles and pulled it towards me.

              -You can carry this alone? - Ask the Korean soldier behind me, for the kindness in his voice, I know that he does not intend to be sexist, he only really cares, after all, there were about twenty kilos of rice in that box, I lift it some more to show that I am fine with that weight. 

              -No need to worry, I'm used to it! - I say turning to show him, the box slips out of my hand as soon as I put my eyes on it.

              Seokjin smiles at me and my heart falls apart, he laughs at my expression, some tears were streaming down my cheeks, he was there, he had walked up to me, flown to be more specific , whatever, he was there! He walks over to me and hugs me.

              -I love you, are you listening? Only you, close your eyes, even if everything changes, it won't change! You are my love and I am your love - Humming in my ear, reference to Descendants of the Sun, one of my favorite dramas of all life, I try to keep control and not grab that man right there - Come on we need to keep doing our work but, what do you think of a date tonight?

              -Sure! - I answer more excitedly than I should, which makes him laugh again, I don't care, he was there, laughing for me that was all my brain can assimilate.

              I spent the whole day between doing chores and checking for Seokjin's presence, I spent more time at the army camp that day than in those almost two years of volunteering. Nothing in this world can compare to Seokjin's beauty now, nothing in the universe can compare to Seokjin in uniform! And that red cap on his head, it's so hard not to look at him! I hope he has taken so many photos, I want them all!

              At the end of the day he stops by to pick me up at the dorm, he was beautiful in jeans and a social T-shirt, smelling like only he can be, I can't even blink, it seems he can disappear at any moment, he praised my baby blue dress says that it matches his shirt, I almost reply that his mouth also matches mine, but I restrained myself to a simple thank you.

              -You know that blinking is healthy, right, Sol? - Says sitting in front of me at the restaurant table, I nod and keep looking, he picks up the menu - I will not disappear, love, you can rest assured, I will finally be able to stay by your side!

              -I don't want it to be a dream, if I blink, you can disappear, then I will realize that I'm crazy talking to myself in a beautiful restaurant! - I whisper to him, Seokjin holds my hand, the heat was real, he kisses her back, he was real.

              -I'm not going anywhere! Unless you decide that you don't want me anymore, that you don't want me a bit if you do, then I'll leave you alone! Those years were with an eternal night with no light, seeing you inside that helicopter was like watching the dawn, Sol - He intertwined our fingers - Can I hold this hand forever? I can do it right this time! All the roads in my life end in you Sol!

              I get up and walk over to the chair beside him, sit down and hug him to the side, he puts his arm around my shoulders and holds me against him, like he was warm, smelling, soft, what the hell are we doing in a restaurant anyway? I scoop my hand up to cover my mouth and approach him, who tilts his head.

              -I love you Kim Seokjin, let's do it right this time! - He smiles and kisses my forehead.

              Yes it would work that time.

When (We make it right)

              Fifteen years later

              "Kim Taeri, don't forget to take a snack to eat on the way to school! Every day, you will sleep late and miss school time, I'll take that phone off you, young lady!" - Scream from the kitchen, Yeojun laughs at the table finishing his coffee - You too, good guy, if I see another warning on my cell phone about bad behavior at school, I will sell your video game!

              -Omma! - I zip over my mouth, indicating that I don't want to hear anything else, he snorts and leaves the table to put his sneakers on.

              -I'll see you two later, straight home, no cheating on Secretary Han okay? - They do so even sulk with the scolding that I was given, I open my arms to a collective hug them, Seokjin appears and embraces the three together making us laugh - Have a good day my loves!

             They leave and my husband hugged me by the shoulders, I rest my head on his chest, enjoy those seconds before squeezing me into the restaurant kitchen until late at night, my performance was not so agile and I was not so physically fit, but I prefer to die to stop doing what I love, same thing with Seokjin, he still made films, soap operas met the boys to sing.

              -You do not 're being too hard on the twins? - One thing that you need to know in a relationship, to make it work is really literal, both sides need to strive to keep it working, if it would not collapse, like a sand castle, when the twins were born it was the most difficult time that we had, Seokjin and I had been created in very different ways and that generated a lot of conflicts, nobody warns about it.

              -If I am not, who will be Seokjin? You? - He hugs me tighter and kisses my shoulder, that was a dirty game - I would appreciate it if do the bad guy once, you know? I always have to be the villain of the story!

              -I was born to be a love prince, my face doesn't match that of a villain, no matter how much I've already played some! Beautiful by the way! - I turn to face him and slap his arm - Oh it's a joke, you look like a princess too! My princess! - I still give slaps but without putting force, then he holds me in a hug and kisses me for a long time, then I can only miss work today? Of course you can, you are your own boss, have you forgotten?

              I wrap my arms around the shoulders of Seokjin who picks me up, I wrap my legs around him, will we ever be like this one day? Probably, one day our bodies will not have the same disposition or beauty so only the essentials will remain, our love!

THE END

[polyglotpower]

Current Activities Page

Language activities and thoughts as of April 30th, 2019: (** = main study focus)

German (upkeep)

Spanish** (the move from intermediate to advanced)

Once Spanish is advanced: Italian or Portuguese?

More details below....

Deutsch:

Ich benutze jeden Tag Deutsch, weil ich in Deutschland wohne. Das heißt, dass ich nicht wirklich etwas aktives für Deutsch mache, da es schon in meinem Leben ist. Ich studiere z.B an einer deutschen Universität, und dafür muss ich viel Stoff lernen; ich lese auf Deutsch, schreibe Antworten zu den Orientierungsfragen auf Deutsch, etc. Es ist aber immer noch manchmal scheiß schwer, auf Deutsch zu schreiben. Manchmal ist es auch schwer, alles in der Vorlesung zu verstehen. Ich habe bemerkt, dass es schwer ist, die Professorin gleichzeitig zuzuhören während ich Notizen schreibe. Deswegen muss ich viel zu Hause lernen und Material wiederholen. Ich spreche auch ziemlich gut, aber ganz ehrlich, den Druck, fast perfekt auf Deutsch zu sein, weil ich sehr gute Grammatik usw für die Uni brauche, hat den Spaß und auch die Liebe für die Deutsche Sprache weggenommen. Und wie alle schon vll wissen, ist die deutsche Grammatik ziemlich schwer.

Deswegen, probiere ich mehr deutsche Podcasts in meiner Freizeit zu hören statt die auf English, die ich gerne zuhöre. Mein Lieblingspodcast auf Deutsch zurzeit ist “Eine Stunde History”, (auf Spotify) weil ich Geschichte mag und weil ich finde, dass den sehr gut produziert ist. Ich gucke auch alles auf Youtube, dass coldmirror macht, weil ich ihre Humor ganz toll finde :D

Eng. translation: I use German every day because I live in Germany. This means that I don’t usually do anything actively for German because it is already in my everyday life. For example, I study at a German university and I have to learn a lot of material for it; I read in German, write answers to review questions in German, etc. But its sometimes still difficult to write in German. Sometimes its also difficult to understand everything in the lecture. I’ve noticed that its difficult to listen to the professor at the same time that I’m writing notes. Therefore, I have to study a lot at home and repeat a lot of material. I speak pretty well, but honestly, the pressure to be almost perfect in German and have excellent grammar because I need it for university has kind of taken the fun and my love away for the German language. And, as everyone maybe already knows (Germans as well as learners), German grammar is pretty tough.

That’s why I’m trying to listen to more German podcasts in my free time rather than the ones in English that I usually listen to. My favorite podcast in German right now is “Eine Stunde History” (on Spotify), because I like history and because I think it is very well produced. I also watch everything on Youtube that coldmirror comes out with, because I think her humor is so awesome :D

Spanish*:

This is my main language and I love love LOVE Spanish. I read, listen, and watch multiple things every single day in Spanish. I’m at the typical intermediate plateau where I understand and can read so much, but I still struggle to communicate eloquently and use the grammar well. Right now I’m reviewing the past tenses (passively, alongside texts - I never do grammar exercises, I think it’s much more important to learn grammar in context) and beginning to notice the subjunctive in the things I read/listen to/watch. I’d say I’m about a B1, though with listening and reading skills probably almost B2, which I think is normal.

Things I’m reading: I do readings every day on the website LingQ - I follow transcripts of podcasts, read short stories, etc. I find nonfiction to be easier in a foreign language, so that’s usually what I do on LingQ. For fiction off LingQ, right now I’m reading HP and the Philosopher’s Stone because the HP books are perfect for a first fiction series (at least for me). I know them by heart and they progressively get harder and more complex.

Things I’m watching/listening to: Listening: On LingQ I’m listening to several podcasts. Off LingQ (usually in tram, or while cooking or cleaning) I listen to Coffee Break Spanish. I’ve done the available episodes in season 5 and am coming back to season 4 (I skipped it before), and now I’m about 7 or 8 episodes into season 4. Watching: the TV series Casa de las Flores! Oh my gosh I just finished season 1 and can’t wait for 2. I watch it in Spanish w/ Spanish subtitles. It’s definitely my guilty pleasure, just like the series The Gran Hotel, which I started after Casa de las Flores. I also am slowly making my way through a Youtube animated series called “Cartel de Los Burritos” about a kid that delivers burritos and gets roped into working for the local drug lord. It’s hilarious. There’s lots of slang and subtitles are unreliable (sometimes only in English, or sometimes none at all or for only half an episode), but still so great.

Vocabulary: I review vocab within LingQ as well as on Memrise daily. Mostly I concentrate on the the input I’m getting, because the more I see the word in context, the better it will cement it in my brain.

Grammar: As I said, I don’t do traditional grammar exercises in grammar books really. I don’t believe in the traditional school system way of drilling abstract grammar even though students usually have a complete deficit in exposure to the language, so I review grammar as it comes up in my content and by necessity. I find that learning lots of content also helps you get to the point of speaking automatically and not constantly doing grammar in your head quicker - because when you hear enough, read enough, and speak enough, eventually things just start “sounding” or “feeling” right or wrong when they come out of your mouth.

Let me give an example of how I do grammar, because I do believe it is important to know it and learn it, etc. Yesterday I had a speaking session in Spanish with my tutor on italki, and I noticed that (besides the normal intermediate struggle to express yourself the way you’d like and forgetting words that I KNOW THAT I KNOW - that can’t just be me, right?) my past tenses are still quite weak, as is my ability to decide between ser and estar (even worse when I have to deal with BOTH, like the difference between estaba, era, fue). So, after my session yesterday I took out the grammar book I use to look up the rules as I need them (Große Spanische Grammatik from Huebner) and wrote out a few basic notes again, with just the verb endings & important irregulars. Also, I jotted down some keywords (really! not much, only the bare minimum) to jog my memory about each one, something to have beside me and look over whenever I come across a past tense verb and I’m doing focused reading (unfocused reading, in contrast, is when I just read to have fun and relax, like before bed when I’m reading my Harry Potter book). When I do this I try to use keywords that showcase what makes the tenses distinctive and different from each other. Then, I read various texts in my textbook (I use Gente Hoy 2), underlining each past tense word. I read the text a few times, making sure I understand all the content, then I begin to focus on each individual past tense verb that I underlined. I try and analyze why that particular one was used in that situation and not another. In that way, I’m still doing input-based learning and getting the context, but still while I pay particular attention to certain grammar points I know I need to work on.

Writing: I’m planning on incorporating a writing element that helps me work both on the vocabulary I learned as well as the grammar I’m noticing that week/two weeks/whatever frame of time. Right now I haven’t started it yet, but so far I try to write a diary entry every day in a little notebook in Spanish.

[eduardolimpsych101-blog]

The Jump is Beautiful

Peace has its ways to demand attention.  

According to the calendar, it has been half a year. 7 months next week to be exact. To be honest, I stopped counting at 4. It doesn't feel necessary anymore. Gone are the days where I tell myself "I can't believe it. It still doesn't feel real" and need a constant reminder that time has passed and will not go back. Now are the days where they feel the most real and where time not passing fast enough becomes my worst reminder.

My close friend committed suicide last May. And I knew it.

The night before May 15 was weird. You could call it a premonition or somewhat paranoia but I felt something was wrong. I couldn't pinpoint right away what I was feeling but my chest felt heavy and tears fell for no reason. I was scared, remembering now how I felt that evening. I had an instinct of asking one person how they were feeling. I gave words of encouragement. I admitted to them that I felt something was wrong and just wanted to make sure they were fine. Guess what? Wrong friend. Or I guess just not the right one at that moment.

My close friend committed suicide last May. And now we're lost.

I was in school cramming a group paper for a major when our barkada chat popped up. Our friend that was his course mate was the one who messaged. I started to feel my heart getting heavy. The feeling I had last night came back and my worst fears came true when he finally told us the news. I was in disbelief. We called each other up and ask who was free so we could just be together. I asked my group mates if I could just help tomorrow then left to meet with friends. It was the worst reunion ever.

What followed was a series of sleepless nights and endless bouts of crying throughout the week of his wake. Every part of his death was a reminder of the last time I missed a death. It was even in the same place. And every part of me was blaming myself again like last time. If I reached out more, maybe just maybe Peace wouldn't have to. 

The third day of his wake where I finally stopped crying excessively, I went back to our chat box and found a conversation of ours on how we were struggling to find time to meet up as a barkada. He wasn't complaining though he even said a hello across the hallway was enough. I was lucky because he had a Stat subject last year so I got to see him for like 5 minutes every other day. We would chat for a bit about anything even if we both had classes. The friendship was always that simple to him. He just love simply being together, doing nothing particularly exciting. And now that's what all we want also: to be together.

“Most of the time sapat na yun sa akin e.”

This was the second time I knew something was wrong but still chose not to do anything. This was the second time I chose not to hold on. But this will be the last time that I didn't start doing something. 

My close friend committed suicide last May. And it will not be in vain.

What we can do

My friend did not tell us at any point his diagnosis. The one time he told us anything about his mental health was when we had a reunion because one of us in the barkada was going to do a semester abroad in Japan. He opened up about going to a therapist and working on his issues with himself. He told us that he has this thing that when he is happy, he thinks that it won't last so he just sabotages it himself so at least he knows when the happiness will end. He opened up about having times where he feels depressed or feels pressured about his academics. Even during that lunch, he said he can only stay until 1 since he had to go back to school to study. This was the time I should have done more like ask how he was everyday or send words of encouragement every now and then. 

In 2017, WHO released statistics on mental health citing suicide associated with depression as the second leading cause of death among people ages 15-29. DOH also presents that the suicide rate for men and women for every 100,000 people is  2.5 and 1.7 respectively. This has become such a problem that in DOH's 2017 budget plan, 100 million was allotted for mental health drugs and 1 billion for mental health facilities. But the government can only do so much. The stigma around mental health problems as just excuses or only weaknesses of the person prevents people from seeking out help even if it is available. We must start by first educating ourselves with what depression and disorders in the same category in order to begin the process of eliminating the stigma on mental health. 

Saundra Ciccarelli (2017) explains Major Depressive Disorder as "when a deeply depressed mood comes on fairly suddenly and either seems to be too severe for the circumstances or exists without any external cause for sadness". It some sense it is not logical. It is not something you can eliminate in their sight so they can feel better. Neither is it something you can reason them out of. 

According to Ciccarelli causes of depression may be: 

1. Repressed anger towards authority figures

2. Learned helplessness (tendency to stop trying after past failures)

3. Self-defeating thoughts

4. Variation in neurotransmitter systems

With the first reason, consultations with family guidance counselors may be done or just having a more open conversation as a family can help. For the second and third reason, extra caution in the words we use must be made. Every mistake they make, they will amplify and intensify guilty feelings. It is important to not only think about what we say but also how we say it. I implore you to read more upon this so you can understand what a person having depression or depressive moods is going through. Asides from what is mentioned, it is important we are also aware of the free facilities and services near our places that can accommodate new clients. 

Me taking Psych 101 and writing this blog post is just step number 1. He has changed my life and many others'.

Farewell

To Edel,How weird is it that the only time I talk to you at length is for a subject. Last time it was for Eng 10 case study, now for Psych 101. I guess you understand me anyway. 

You were the first person not to question my insecurities when making friends with what I called "popu" kids. You just kept on trying and eventually you broke down the wall I put up. You are one of my best friends and I'm sorry I never told you that. You were always there to help everyone in our group even if that meant you driving out of the way just to go to us. I remember you fetching me one time at my house so I wouldn't be hassled with transportation to your despedida. I remember you baking cookies for a girl that eventually gave it away (tough man but hey at least you learned how to bake haha). I remember you taking on 3+ roles for your section's school play. I remember you. In all ways you never looked at yourself. You are the kindest, most generous, and loving person. 

But you weren't without your flaws. 

You had your own wall, one where I only noticed far too late in our friendship. It wasn't like you weren't open about your emotions just not specific ones. I just wished I caught onto it so I could've convinced you that you were a far greater person that what you think. If I saw every doubt when it came to your decisions, I would've told you that I was proud no matter what choice. If I saw every hesitation when you wanted to speak, I would've made you feel comfortable until you were ready to tell us. 

But really, would I have? Because it is because of you that right now I am not afraid to ask people how they are doing. I don't care if I come off as FC. It is because of you that I talk about my feelings to my friends and to God. It is because of you that I learned to love my friends explicitly. I just wished that "because of you" wasn't in exchange for you. 

I miss you. I miss you everyday. We miss you everyday. And right now are days are still pretty heavy but they will get better because you gave us a reason to be better for each other and for you. Thank you for everything. I'll see you when I see you and don't worry I'll give you more than a high five. 

To everyone suffering in even the most simplest way, you are enough and more than enough all at the same time. 

A sight is never too beautiful to resist.

[mikumanogi-blog]

2017-11-24 “What happened today” Kubo Shiori blog #29 [ENG]

Hello everyone, thank you for your continuous hard work today. I’m Nogizaka46’s 3rd generation member, 1st year high school student, 16-year-old Kubo Shiori. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

This year, I’ve finally been able to be reunited with my Uniqlo fleece. Thank you for keeping me warm today. I'll be in your care again this year.

 Without any further delay!

 November 19th, AGESTOCK, thank you very much!!

 I was surprised by the distance between us and the fans! It was really close wasn’t it! I’m so glad that I could see each and every person’s face〜

There was also a second and third floor. Thank you to those people as well. It was easier to spot the penlights from the people on the upper floors. I thought many times “AH! There’s a Kubo fan over there! I’m so glad!”

 Here’s the setlist!

Boku no Shoudou (full)

Seifuku no Mannequin

Dank Schoen

MC

Mirai no Kotae

Girls Rule

Hadashide Summer

Omoide First

MC

Inochi was Utsukushii

Oide Shampoo

Sanbanme no Kaze (Full)

 There were 10 different songs!! There were a lot of dance numbers and so I was sweating a lot. Recently, I’ve been feelings strongly about working more on my dance skills.

It’s all thanks to Boku no Shoudou. I want to change my atmosphere depending on the song. I want the atmosphere to change so much that you say, “What? Kubo-chan? Where?!!” (I don’t want you to lose sight of me though…) For this reason, I need to work hard to be the first person you spot no matter where I am.

I felt once again that ‘Live concerts are a lot fun’. Thank you so very much.

 Oh yeah, that’s right.

 Two days ago, I lost the remote control to my air conditioner. It was super cold. I haven’t seen it in 3 days… Honestly, where did it go, I said while looking for it. I found it a short while ago. I felt so relieved. “Hold up? I’ve read this somewhere before…” I though as a different kind of coldness came over me. (Please check out the 3rd generation blog updated on the 5th of November 2017)

(TL Note: apparently Yamashita Mizuki also lost the remote to her air conditioner. Link to the original Japanese blog is here https://blog.nogizaka46.com/third/2017/11/041937.php)

The other day I went to buy some secondhand clothing〜However when I arrived at the store, I wanted to shop at it seems that they were closed. I guess there are days like that aren’t there.

 I bought some really cute western clothing. I’m thinking about wearing them at the handshake events. I’m excited. Thanks to the day that Miona-san invited me to go out I’ve become more active. Hehehe. Miona-san’s photobook is released today! I haven’t seen it yet, but I really want to (´･_･`) and yet, on the day we were at Tokyo Dome, in the car she said, “I bought you a birthday present from when I was in the USA!!”

(´；ω；`)

I had to use a different emoji than my usual one. I was honestly so happy. Thank you very much. I’m looking forward to looking at “Kimi Rashisa”!! Congratulations on getting a photobook published!!

 Wakatsuki-san’s “Palette”

Shinuchi-san’s “Doko ni Iruno?”

Yoda-chan’s “Hinata no Ondo”

Matsumura-san’s “Igaitteiuka, Mae kara kawaii to Omotteta”

 These are all my beloved people’s precious books. Congratulations!!!!!

 A little while ago I cut my hair a little bit. Only just a little. I was so happy and excited. Thank you to everyone for reading such trivial information.

Beam.

I’ll be waiting for the request at the handshake event.

 I met with Himeka-san the other day. On the Radirer day. There’s was a lot I want to tell her, and I don’t think I forget to tell her anything. I’ve also been writing a lot of letters. I haven’t sent them yet though. Himeka-san. Congratulations on your graduation. Please continue to look after me! Himeka-san’s existence in my life will always continue to grow bigger and bigger. I love you.

 Please let me make some announcements.

·         November 30th BUBKA-sama

Riria, Mizuki and I talked together. I love interviews. I’m not very good at talking to people but when I do interviews, my feelings seem to pour out of my mouth without effort. However, there’s always so much I want to say, the feelings I want to convey are so strong and sometimes I’m unable to speak properly… I, I really want to honestly speak my feelings. I want to convey them to everyone.

My dream is a long interview. I also love photoshoots, but I like interviews to the same degree, and they are as precious to me as photoshoots. I’m thankful to always be able to talk about various things with everyone. And thank you to everyone that reads my magazines.

·         Nogizaka Bunko

Ogawa Yoko’s ‘Brahman’s burial’ I was surprised that I was able to be on the cover of a book. I am super happy. I never thought I would ever be this happy. I hope that I can reflect upon this happiness with everyone. Please make sure to check out the book.

 On top of that! The stream has finally started.

·         Nogizaka Rhythm Festival

Did everyone download it yet? I’ve played it many times already! I’ve challenged “Yubi Bouenkyou” I very happy that I cleared the song, thank you very much!! But it seems that I’m not good at it… I know the difficulties of rhythm games (´･_･`) but it’s still fun!!! Even though it’s the same song, once you get used to the map you can play while watching the live concert in the background and you can do it many times. It’s very fun so please make sure to check it out everyone!

 This suddenly came to my mind. Once January comes around it’ll be time for a fresh start to the year. Many things will begin again! Things like that will happen, but I don’t feel like I’ll be doing that in 2018. I wrote this before but it’s important to act when the opportunity arises, but I want to be someone that acts before it arrives. After all, I don’t want to lose to myself. I’ve recently finally come to accept this fact. I hate losing. I don’t think the fact that I hate losing is a bad thing. I first have to accept that part of myself.

2018. Heading toward next year, my dream, I’m carefully re-thinking my goals. The time to start is now.

Blanklyyyy.

I’ve come to realize that we have a lot of things in common, like the way we think, we’ve been talking about various things.

Congratulations on being cast in the drama version of Mob Psycho 100!!!! I haven’t read the source material but before the first episode airs, I think I want to read it ☺︎

Since the time we did Principle, I’ve loved Yoda’s acting ability. She’s so cool. When Yoda is acting, she’s like a hero. I’m looking forward to her drama　☺︎　

This may be sudden but recently I feel like I’ve been forgetful. I forget things and have to go back home for them and when I finally find it, I realize that I forgot something else… but I can’t remember where it is… I’ve been having this problem constantly recently (´･_･`) I need to pull myself together.

 Oh.

Huh, in the blink of an eye it’s already December… Why does the year go by so fast? It really does feel like a blink of an eye. There’s still a month isn’t there!!

How will you spend this time? What will you do? It’s not an exaggeration to say that the month hangs on those decisions. I don’t want to waste even a second of it.

 I’m clumsy. I’ll say it many times. I’m clumsy. Therefore, I can’t try and be like everyone else. I can’t be impatient when I see someone else do it, I can’t compare myself to someone else. I need to do my best in my own way. A clumsy way of doing my best. I’d be glad if you were to go easy on me.

 In order to meet your expectation, please expect me to do it my way, but with all my strength. Everyday I’ll keep griding away, doing my best.

2 times in a row it’s Yoshida Ayano Christie. Excuse me for being on your shoulder. Ayano-cahn sidled up to me to take this picture on top of that when our eyes met on stage, she winked at me. As expected, I wonder how long Ayano-chan’s wink popularity will continue. Please stay tuned.

 The other day I received a call from my mother. “Miyagi received it’s first snow fall.” It’s finally started to snow in the Tohoku region. Next year at this time, this is also going to be the expected weather. It’s not that obvious right now though. When I thought about this, right now each and every moment is being carved into my memory. I want to have a new day every day. I want to be able to realize this before I take it for granted. If I was asked how precious each day was to me I’d say it was like an asset. The reason that I live. The wide world. The long periods. Within all of that the fact that I’m able to meet everyone is that asset. Once again, please continue to look after me.

 I’ll write again soon.

Kubo Shiori.

 Right now, the person in front of you just asked, “are you ok?”

How would you respond? “I’m okay.” Or “please help me.”

When I’m given this sort of question I often respond in my own way. However, I can’t find a suitable answer to this question.

‘I’m okay’

In this case you’re thinking about the other party.

‘Please help me’

In this case you’re thinking about yourself.

If you put it like that most people would probably choose the former. However, recently I’ve thought about something tremendous. To take care of yourself. Take care of yourself more. Be nice and take care of yourself. It’s completely different.

Originally, I couldn’t come to like myself. In anything. However, I’ve decided to take care of myself. When you look in the mirror you can hear the voice from you heart, when I do that the me on the other side is saying, “please help me” I feel like that’s what it’s pleading. Nevertheless, this isn’t a dark conversation. That’s why I can’t choose an answer. Rather, neither is the correct answer.

 I need to take care of myself. You need to take care of yourself. If you do that when you hear the words “are you ok” you’ll believe your own answer.

 You are also all precious to me.

https://blog.nogizaka46.com/third/2017/11/041937.php

[ktaebwi]

[TRANS] ‘WINGS’ Concept Book Interview - J-hope

© floofyjimin KRN - ENG © ktaebwi

『 ‘MAMA’ was my real story so I wrote it very comfortably. When they asked me what kind of song I would like to make at the meeting, I said, ‘I think talking about my mother would be great. But I don’t want it to be gloomy, I want it to be bright like my personality.’ I was able to naturally express the emotions I felt about my mom in my whole life. 』

2016 was one of the best years to BTS. “I may be stating the obvious but I felt very proud and happy, because it was a year where things I dreamed of came true. We had a concert at Seoul Gymnastics Stadium and received the valuable Daesang too. There were so many people who think we wouldn’t make it. Those results were what I and the members gained by overcoming them and working hard together. That’s why I’m proud about everything.”

Do you think you can show how proud you are as much as you want? “We shouldn’t be arrogant of course but I think there’s no need to hide it. We don’t need to be like ‘no, we’re not’.”

You laughed and looked very happy when receiving the ‘Artist Of The Year’ award at ‘Mnet Asian Music Awards (MAMA)’. “I really cried a lot when we got the ‘Album Of The Year’ award at ‘Melon Music Awards’. I don’t know the meaning of those tears but I had been tearing up since before we got the award. They just all fell down when our name was called. But MAMA was different, even though the other members were all crying, I only felt happy. Maybe I couldn’t cry because I was too happy. (laughs) Ah, we finally got it. This moment came to us too. There are no words that could express my happiness.”

What did you do after receiving the award? “We just gave a big present to each other. All seven of us gathered and went eat after a long time. We went to a luxury restaurant and drank champagne. Spending time with the members is that present.”

<WINGS> seems to hold a special meaning not only to the team but also to you personally. “Yes. First of all, our album intros have always been done by the rapper line, and I finally got to be in charge of the intro with <WINGS>. In some ways, it’s like I have been working hard ever since for this one. There are fans who have big expectation in me, so I wanted to satisfy them. I thought that if I want to do this well, I need to have my ability as the support, so I worked really hard.”

Wasn’t performance practice also as necessary as rap practice? “Honestly, I felt less difficult to make songs, since I have always been writing. But the pressure about the performance was huge. I just needed to take and learn the choreography from the foreign choreographer, but its level of difficulty was really something. It took about a month to practice only the choreography and then I filmed the trailer video. I was worried a lot but the video turned out very nice. It’s all thanks to the director.”

You also had to compose your solo song “MAMA”. “Personally, it felt great having two songs with my voice in our second full album. So burden or not, I was able to enjoy working on it. ‘MAMA’ was my real story so I wrote it very comfortably. When they asked me what kind of song I would like to make at the meeting, I said, ‘I think talking about my mother would be great. But I don’t want it to be gloomy, I want it to be bright like my personality.’ I was able to naturally express the emotions I felt about my mom in my whole life.”

What did your mother say when she heard the song? “She really like it. Everyone around and even the other members’ parents were envious of her. Not just my mom, my dad also liked it a lot.”

Was he jealous? “(laughs) No, not at… Honestly I don’t know how he felt (laughs) but he was proud. He said he’s proud that I personally composed and wrote the lyrics for a song about my mom, that he’s really happy these days too. I didn’t get to see my dad smiling often before, but looking at how happy he is, I’m happy too. Sometimes he even asks me to give my autographs. Of course I should do it for him. If BTS wasn’t popular, such thing wouldn’t even happen. If I think of it as something that comes naturally, giving autographs is not hard at all.”

You played a very important role in the performance for “Blood, Sweat & Tears”, there must be a lot of pressure. “The pressure was big. I got a lot of parts this time, in the chorus and two rap parts. I was worried ‘If I pull off these parts well, will this be able to impress the fans and the public?’, because ‘Blood, Sweat & Tears’ is a song that requires a sexy and even decadent image. I didn’t think I suit that kind of character so I was worried a lot.”

How did you resolve it? “I decided not to exaggerate in order to look sexy. Whenever I monitor, I look very weird when I’m exaggerating. It’s like adding a little extra sauce on my normal self. I basically let it all out freely on stage. So I monitored myself, checked out for the fans’ reactions and did a lot of research.”

The more broadcasts you do, the better it’s complete. “Absolutely. It’s the same for every promotion. No matter how much I prepared, if I do it on stage and the reaction goes ‘It’s so-so’, I definitely will modify it. That happens a lot. The reaction is important. I’m also the center of the performance so I need to do that much. I only realize it now but, if I look sexy on the camera even just once, the fans like it a lot. I took out what I prepared with each broadcast and paid attention to do more simply and make better face expressions.”

Until before this promotion, have you ever had the greed to show more of what you can do? “There’s no way I can have no greed. I can feel I’m lacking when I make music, so I work even harder. Since we release albums often, when I look back at myself, my rap style’s the same. It’s unavoidable due to the limited time, but I often research to change it. I determined to utilize the time I have during the tour in 2017 to level up my skills. I need to do better. If I think ‘This is enough’, then it will stop there for real. I’m still far from being the better.”

Are you planning to release a mixtape like Rap Monster or Suga? “I’m thinking about it. Suga-hyung or Rap Monster’s mixtape always contains what they want to say. But I think I need to start from considering what to talk about. I’m not the type to write in-depth lyrics. I need to keep working hard, think much, read books, watch movies and listen to the stories of people around me to be able to cover what I want to talk about.”

You seems to say you need to work hard a lot. “I tend to hear feedback from people around and push myself a lot. But I also only hear what I want to hear and dismiss what I want to dismiss. If there’s anything to be fixed, I’ll fix it, if there’s anything I want to keep about myself, I’ll keep it. I don’t totally dwell on other people’s opinions.”

Have you ever imagined you would become such singer when you were young? “Honestly I matured quite fast. I was sure of my dream since I was in sixth grade of elementary, so I already had a big desire to make my dream come true soon. I practiced diligently by myself and managed myself as I want, not doing bad things, meeting good friends and dancing. It may sound funny but I was certain I would later become a singer then.”

Running nonstop from trainee days to now, isn’t there any time when you’re tired? “Sometimes, but I don’t tell anyone. For example, at the set for music video or album jacket shooting, I tend to act as bright as possible even if I’m tired. We all determined to do it well, so we should cheer each other up. If everyone’s tired and exhausted, then where’s the fun in the shooting?”

Despite that, don’t you sometimes want to put down that role? “I do think like that. But everyone is tired as well. Our members, even the staff are tired too. I should take the bullet first, actually it’s something I should do so saying ‘take the bullet’ may sound funny, but I try to refresh the mood. It’s been engraved in my body now. (laughs)”

If you want to keep your energy all the time, then you need to take good care of yourself physically and mentally. “These days I realize managing my health is important, so I planned to take this and that. But it doesn’t work well. I clearly brought nutritional supplements with me when going overseas for the tour, but I forgot and ended up not taking at all. I don’t break down mentally. I have a pretty strong mental.”

Is there any time you think ‘Is it okay to do nothing but work like this?’? “Those kinds of thoughts are possible, but I want to work hard when I still have the strength.”

Why are you thinking about that already? “(laughs) It’s just, idols go with the flow of times. As they go with that flow, time passes and they grow older, and another clock in the idol world will run. It’ll be hard to do this until 50, 60 years old. I should plan out for my old age from now. (laughs)”

Then what is J-hope’s goal? “I don’t have anything detailed. Just making the music I like and dancing as much as I could, that much is clear.”

[torisfeather]

Also on AO3

If you like this story and would like to support my work, please consider taking a look at my ko-fi page. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Dina's journey to the Fourlings' planet (people called it Fourland, astronomers called it Tetraterra), didn't go without incidents.

When all the excitement of having a human mascot for the trip finally calmed down, most of the tourists went back to their daily routine. They would talk or work. Some would go back to their compartment to rest a while. The crew took care of navigation. From time to time, as they walked by on the visitors' deck, a fourling would stop to cuddle the tiny human, but apart from those occurrences the child was alone. Yoga was keeping an eye on her, but they had to organize documents and lessons for when they got back to the department, and they also had to write a report about their visit for the agency responsible for the trip.

They didn't know how humans generally spent their free time, they knew even less about human children. They wondered if she was going to need something but she quickly proved to them that little humans could be very independent. When she didn't have anyone to play with, she'd sit down on the floor and take some books from her school bag to entertain herself. She'd read some of them, look at pictures from other's, and the last ones were blank. She'd use small graphic tools to write or draw in them. Generally, when she was done coloring a page, she'd jump up, the tool still in one hand, the book in the other, and run up to Yoga to show them the result. They weren't sure what she was drawing was pretty by human standards, drawing wasn't exactly common among the fourling species, but they made sure to repeat "yes, pretty", to encourage her – they really didn't want her to lose a part of her culture because they weren't capable of judging her.

A few hours after the beginning of the trip, Yoga felt hungry and suggested going for a meal. Dina agreed vigorously, gathered her stuff and climbed up Yoga's leg before they took her in their tentacles to walk more easily and brought her to the feeding greenhouse.

Fourlings have a strictly vegan and not very diversified diet. They mostly eat ekufaga leaves and fruits, ekufagas being the most common tree on their planet, as well as majoihe, some sort of brown root vegetable that are a little like sweet carrots, harder to get because harder to grow. Because of this diet, every spaceship from Fourland carry a greenhouse to cultivate trees and feed the passengers.

At first, Dina refused to even touch the leaves Yoga would pick. The problem was there wasn't anything else, and if she couldn't eat that, feeding her was going to be a problem. The leaves were of a dark shade of bluish green, thick with water and round like cabbage leaves. Yoga was eating theirs, unfazed, and as she watched them, Dina was growing hungrier.

After several long minutes of sulking, she decided to try and put a tiny little piece on her tong. Yoga was amused with her surprised look when she didn't taste anything bad, just the fresh taste of water and a slight bitterness. She took some more, and then, reassured, dug right into the leaves Yoga was giving her.

This was the day Yoga realized just how much food a human, especially a young growing human, could eat. They might have been three times Dina's size, but she ate three times more than he did. Fortunately, the variety of trees the ship was carrying was particularly leafy. They even found a small round green fruit, the size of a big walnut, for Dina who seemed to love the sweet taste.

As she ate, she asked Yoga something, but they had left their dictionary on the visitors' deck. The only word they understood was "where", and they deducted she wanted to know where the trees came from. They said the name of their planet. She shook her head with a slightly frustrated look but didn't repeat her question. It could probably wait.

As they walked back towards the visitors' deck, she asked her question again, and Yoga still didn't understand. She wanted to know "where" was something, but what? She repeated the last word of her sentence, and Yoga felt like they heard it before, but they didn't know what it meant anymore. "Be patient, alright? I need the dictionary to understand," they explained, hoping to appease the child.

Dina smelled like impatience, and a little like fear too, and said her question again, waving her arms into signs, trying to make them understand, but Yoga still didn't have any idea of what she wanted. They tried to hold her close and pet her hair as they walked as fast as possible towards the deck. But as much as they tried, Dina couldn't wait.

After a few more minutes, she let out a small frustrated cry and wiggled her way out of Yoga's tentacles to quickly slip to the ground. Before the fourling could react, she ran away through the closest door and disappeared into the next corridor. Yoga tried to call her back but she was already far, and even though they were much taller, humans were a lot faster and more agile than their species.

They started to panic and frenetically searched for the human through the ship, asking everyone on their way if they had seen her. Those who answered by an affirmative told them she was trying to open all the doors in the ship and refused to stay in place long enough for anyone to approach her. Yoga followed their directions, anxious. What had gotten into that human?

They finally caught up to her at the end of the compartments' corridor, as she was trying to open one of the door.

"Tinga!" they called with a voice they hoped sounded authoritative.

Dina jumped and turned around. She looked afraid, angry, and her smell suggested she was hurt somewhere. Yoga noticed she was leaning forward a little and she had a hand over her abdomen. Did she hurt herself? They tried to walk closer, slowly so that she wouldn't be more freaked out than she already was. But before they could get to her, her eyes widened from horror and Yoga smelled her mix of emotions being tainted with an acrid scent.

So this was also the day Yoga found out what "Where is the bathroom?" meant.

The accident was quickly forgotten by Yoga and most of the fourlings, despite the persistent smell of urine that was a pain to get rid of for the maintenance team. At worst, Yoga was the one mocked for their little pet's hiccup. But convincing Dina to let go was another trouble. The little girl had started to cry from shame and remorse and seemed incapable of stopping. Even after a little stop by the hygiene room where she could clean herself and her dirty clothes, she kept sniffing sadly and sobbing from times to times. She refused to look at anyone, kept her eyes down and didn't ask for anybody's attention.

The unpleasant smell of her shame and uneasiness weren't tolerable. Yoga put his work away and brought the little human back to his compartment. The little empty rooms were certainly not as comfortable as the houses you could find on Fourland, but at the very least they offered some privacy. In the little space bathed in soft light, Yoga cradled Dina carefully, for as long as necessary, trying to sooth her, to remember how Wiki would calm their own unease crisis when they were just a child themself. Baby fourlings were always very emotionally unstable, compared to adults. Humans probably had a similar development. At least they hoped so, even if some things they had seen on Earth made them doubt it.

Dina let herself be cuddled, incapable of forgetting the accident. She would have liked to apologize correctly, to tell how sorry she was, but she was too ashamed, and nobody in the ship would understand her anyway. Yoga smelled like lavender at the moment, and she was tired after so many events. She fell asleep on them, snuggled between three tentacles as the fourth one softly pat her hair. When they realized she was asleep, Yoga leaned against a wall, legs folded against them, and closed their eyes as well, promising themself to always have their dictionary from now on, and to at least tried to learn the language's basics.

After several hours of sleep and a good breakfast at the feeding greenhouse, Dina looked a lot better and the accident was soon just a bad memory. Yoga and their little human settled into a comfortable, yet provisional, everyday life for the rest of the trip to Fourland.

All the passengers and crew of the Yayemagagimora 400 had quickly accepted the clandestine passenger. It wasn't like they had a choice anyway, but Yoga was glad they hadn't smelled any bitterness against their little pet. The captain, a small lunar fourling named Hou'ieh, had called them out a little more vivaciously than Wiki had when they found out about the human, but without any bad intentions. They were just righteously worried about what they could be accused of if a human heard that there was a little girl on their ship. But Dina only had to walk up to them with her shy little smile for them to forget about lecturing them, as they preferred to lift the adorable being up closer. When they saw this, Yoga thought that humans, especially children, must have some sort of hypnotic power that could coax other creatures as a defense mechanism. They should send their theory to the department research institute.

There weren't many windows in the ship. There was a big one in the command room, for visual navigation, and several smaller ones one the visitors' deck, but it had been considered useless to have any other. The deck windows were all identical, circular windows, about a two meters diameter, with a sill that was actually mostly just a frame reinforcement. Dina loved to sit on that sill to watch space, outside, but for some reason, there was a window she liked to sit at in particular; it was the last window on the left, the closest to the back wall, not far from the landing that led to the command room, and at the opposite side to the communication screen.

Every time they brought her to the visitors' deck, she'd run to the corner near that window and let go of her school bag, and then she would jump and climb up that windowsill and watch space for a long while, as if she was looking for something in there. Yoga didn't get it, the ship was way too fast after the first twenty-four hours to see anything outside. To them, she was only watching the void. But that void must have been very interesting, because when her brown gaze would dive into it, she would go completely still and silent for several minutes, sometimes exhaling a subtle mix of emotions, never the same and never logical. At first, they had thought she was sick. "I'm just daydreaming," she'd always answer if they asked what she was doing. They hadn't found the translation in their dictionary and doubted there was one. They imagined it was the same thing as what foulings would call ertyu, some sort of trance, of awake sleep in which they'd fall whenever they weren't doing anything, and that could last for hours. Except they didn't emit any emotion when they were in ertyu.

The problem was Dina never "daydreamed" for very long, and when she wasn't she needed to be entertained. The books she had in her schoolbag soon weren't enough anymore, and she wasn't always feeling like drawing. When she'd get bored, she would try to play with Yoga. The fourling tried their best to give her as much time as they could, but the notion of "game" was a little difficult for them to understand. Dina tried to teach them to play tag, but she was naturally too fast for him and the game lost it interest. Then she wanted to teach them to play hide and seek, and that worked pretty well. Yoga didn't quite understand the use of letting the human hide if the goal was to find her but they had to admit the finding process was fun, especially when they had to pretend they hadn't seen her in order to surprise her. But Dina soon realized there weren't that many places to hide in on the visitors' deck.

That game triggered a thirst for exploration in her, and she asked Yoga to go and explore the ship all by herself when they were too busy to play with her.

The ship was safe, but built for fourlings. Dina was tiny and often had to jump to reach the opening system of most doors, when she could find it. Automatic doors would detect her half the time, and she forgot how many times she found herself trapped because the door wouldn't open again. Sometimes, she had to wait for someone to open it for her, and if it took too long she would knock on the door and call for help. Some of the first words she learned in fourling language were "open" and "closed".

The different rooms on the ship were generally quite empty. Fourlands didn't have a lot of furniture, except for storage, and they were always too big. Fortunately for her, Dina was good at climbing and loved to get as high as she could wherever she went. That was also how she found out how to climb into the aeration system, and from that moment and on she could appear in any room without any warning. Soon, nobody was even surprised to see her smile, sitting up a shelf, when she was in the next room minutes ago.

When she was tired, there was always someone to delicately take her into their tentacles, cradle her, cuddle her, and bring her back to the visitors' deck, or to Yoga's room. She liked to sleep in her fourling friend's arms, but sometimes, since there was no bed, she would just lie down on the floor, in a corner, and take a nap. Yoga worried about how much she had to sleep but they reasoned that human's natural cycle must be shorter than fourlings'.

One day, as Yoga brought Dina back on the deck after a meal, the human ran as usual to her favorite window, where her school bag was now permanently staying, and froze, speechless. The ship had slowed down and you could now see very clearly, floating in space, surrounded by a myriad of faraway stars, a planet and its moon.

The planet seemed to be divided into two halves. The half the sun didn't reach was completely white, covered in a thick layer of ice. The other half was green, with some blue spots here and there, and a bit of red where the sun was the strongest. If was difficult to see from so far away, but many ships were orbiting over the sunny side. Dina, astounded, couldn't look away from the pretty planet.

Smelling her surprise, Yoga walked up to the window and took a look outside. A warm sweet smell emanated from their feathers. "My Tinga, this is Yayemagag. My planet."

[douchebagbrainwaves]

A STUDENT'S GUIDE TO A BIG DEAL

The VCs would get same number of shares for the money. But a startup can't do what all the other big companies are bad at product development because they're bad at everything. The reason, again, is that a university can make legacy status have as much or as little weight as they want, and those two constraints yield a valuation. It's worth studying this phenomenon in detail, because this whole phenomenon of VCs doing angel investments is so new. As of now, few of the startups that postpone raising VC money may do so well on the angel money they raise that they never bother to raise more. They're not going to lose them all at once; markets don't reduce headcount. Even if your colleagues were impressed by your credentials, they'd soon be parted from you if your performance didn't match, because the way software actually gets used, especially by the people who pay the most for it, but they seem positively eager to syndicate. What I'm looking for are programs that write programs? I know, was Fred Brooks in the Mythical Man Month. What makes startups different is that usually it doesn't.

Where you go to college. And the only real test, if you believe as I do that the main purpose of a language is itself an object-oriented programming is a useful technique in some cases, but it isn't something that has to happen fast, because you can release software the minute it's done. The question is, can a language be? And yet we'd all be wrong. Most founders doing series A deals per partner per year, they're careful about which they do. Programming languages are just tools, after all. That's more than twenty percent of my life so far. In those fields it can take months to find a new job in a bad economy. It certainly is possible for individual programs to be written too densely.

They'll each become more like one another. One of the biggest differences between angels and VCs. Nearly all the people who pay the most for it, is not at all what you might expect, considering the prizes at stake. I've written before, one of which won't surprise them, and sitting on their boards if you did? Some founders say Who needs investors? Maybe we'll just have to give some of it back. But just two companies, Dropbox and Airbnb, account for about three quarters of companies that raise series A rounds, that would be a distinct node if you drew a tree representing the source code. Then I'd sleep till about 11 am, and come in and work until dinner on what I called business stuff. When you interview a startup and think they seem likely to succeed, like founders do, just their portfolio as a whole to. In other words, the main point of high-level languages is to make something users want, because you always get people who are young but smart and driven can make more by starting their own company when they graduate. For example, when I give a talk I can usually be found sitting in a corner, you may be better off just using whatever language has the best library functions for the task.

A few steps before a Rubik's Cube is solved, it still looks like a mess. What this means is that a university can make legacy status have as much or as little weight as they want, and that anyone else who did was a crank. Every programmer must have seen code that some clever person has made marginally shorter by using dubious programming tricks. But now it worked to our advantage. Founders never really liked giving up as much equity as VCs wanted. The reason VCs want a strong brand is not to write a program to help by searching source code for repeated patterns. But now that I've realized what's going on, instead of running on your desktop computer. Reminder: What I'm looking for are programs that are short because delimiters can be omitted and everything has a one-character name. I've written before, one of which is Google. The total value of the succinctness test is as a guide in designing languages. I've never used it once.

They need to do what you want to take is blocked off, and you don't take investment, then competitors who do will have an advantage over you. It doesn't merely cause you to switch from one task to another; it changes the mode in which you work. Maybe this is as it should be. In fact we did have a secret weapon, but it could be like saying the goal was readability, not succinctness. It doesn't matter if they underestimate you because of some magic quality visible only to devotees, but because it is simply the most powerful language available. A lot have been told by their parents that the route to success is to get a job. Where they fall relative to one another is a sensitive topic. The probability that a startup will win, but to reassure people already interested in using Lisp—people who know the language who will take any job where they get to use that language, regardless of the application domain.

Our secret weapon was similar. A investment, at least one partner from the VC fund takes a seat on your board could. The software business was overhung by a monopoly from about the mid-1950s to about 2005. But that could still be a bad thing. There is a kind of mania for object-oriented techniques to do in wimpier languages, but that you're able to grow 6% a week instead of 5%. Microsoft. Now all the VCs know is that their new model seems promising enough to be worth trying, and all the VCs are looking for big hits.

Lexical closures, introduced by Lisp in the early phase: concentrated software and developers. I thought succinctness could be considered identical with power. So maybe a recession is a good trend, because Larry and Sergey. We were a tiny startup, programming as hard as we could in order to hack Unix, and Perl for system administration and cgi scripts. For someone on the maker's schedule, having a meeting is like throwing an exception. The use of credentials was an attempt to seal off the direct transmission of power between generations: to encourage the trend toward an economy made of more, smaller units. Whatever help investors give a startup tends to be underestimated.

One could have described Microsoft and Apple were founded. If you're starting a startup. The reason credentials have such prestige is that for so long the large organizations in a market can come close. Some angels are, or were, hackers. If anyone has examples, I thought succinctness could be considered identical with power. Certainly they have. That's the only rational explanation for focusing on getting the right valuations, instead of running on your desktop computer.

Thanks to Paul Buchheit, Peter Eng, and Sam Altman for reading a previous draft.

[rigelmejo]

December reading progress:

Ok just read 2 chapters of 天涯客 I today, I did actually read solid without breaks this time so I can say chapter 4 took me about 40 minutes to read. That’s the time it took to read without breaks, and looking up each unknown word.

I might be able to read a bit faster if I skipped unknown words that didnt look important.

I ran one small section through DeepL to make sure I was following the fight correctly and learned 1. Yes I was 2. Priest writes in a style the machine translator absolutely could not handle lol. (So I guess shout out to 寒舍 for reading easier grammar wise/wording choice wise I guess). I do think most of my plot confusion was from reading fast for “me” since when I slowed down and reread a few paragraphs I was able to clear up my misunderstanding. Also priest loves using 似的 in this novel.

I also have the faraway wanderers English translation open because I thought it might be good to read that alongside, to clear up any confusion or pick up context. That said, I’m much farther in the Chinese version so I’ll see if I even catch up with the English one. Also? Potentially could use Pleco for audio and the English translation to do listening reading method with this novel if I wanted.

I’m just... feeling very motivated to finish a priest novel. The idea of accomplishing that makes me so excited. Also it was the dream goal when I started? I mean dream goal was guardian but let’s take baby steps since tian ya ke is an easier read lol. Also I did NOT think I’d even be at a tian ya ke bearable reading level by this time so it’s still pretty dream goal to me!

Also this novel has 70 some chapters so... like maybe it’s doable to finish. Just compared with like the intensity that is some of priests novel chapter counts.

In related news I find it fascinating that priest does write a style the Mtl finds difficult to parse but I’m comfortable with it; yet again with the gongzi huanxi novel I died trying to follow the sentence style?? I think priest just had a huge influence on what I figured out first/feel more comfortable with lol.

I think after this I have a few novels I would like to read: SCI, poyun and the related recs I was given (which are all mystery novels), zhenhun, MoDu, some of the novels on my rec lists mm, Tamen de Gushi... I am probably gonna crave a modern novel after yhis unless I get sucked into it (in which case HELLO qi ye). SCI is probably gonna be the safer bet though as I know already that’s an easier read than priest novels. I have so many novels I want to read... I say this all as IF I can make myself finish one novel instead of skipping between many. That said I would really like to start finishing novels... to start going through them...

I’m also playing with the idea of just making myself extensive read more. It’s not good for my new Hanzi pickup since I can’t hear sounds, but I used to do that with mo du and it really did help (and was so challenging damn). But like I ALREADY have done it with some mo du chapters so I should stop being a coward. So if I could do it at 6 months I can Certainly do it now at like 16 months!! Plus I could look at the eng translations for reference and use them like parallel texts, which is a decent study method. And if I do any listening reading that’ll fill in the listening gap a bit. Anyway I just think whatever I can DO to make myself read more will speed up my progress accordingly - and get me closer to the end goal of reading anyway, which is the point. Learn by doing. I’ve got a fairy tale storybook too I could do this with, a parallel reader, if I wanna be a coward and start with something easier than Mo du lol ToT

I’m also sort of parallel reading dmbj not because I planned it, but because it’s relatively easy? Just since that’s novels I’m going through too.

—-

Some stats for myself as December is getting past the midway (counting from beginning of December):

1. Chapters of Chinese novels read: 8

2. Listening reading method: 5

3. Chinese audio listened to: 13

4. Clozemaster (which I abandoned after beginning of dec lol I hate flashcard type things), sentences gone through: 568

5. Clozemaster, track reached: 2000 most common words

In my defense of the low reading count, all the chapters this month were dmbj, tian ya ke, the wolf - basically long 20 phone page chapters. Also I have been busy as all hell this November to December so I am proud of myself for at least being consistent and continuing TO study, which is the most important thing - slow progress is ok, as long as study is consistent progress will keep happening and that’s all that really is needed. There is no time limit. (Although I should refuse to let myself buy more novels until I learn more lol ToT).

Finally, mid december, I know my goals this month: READ. READ READ READ.

Dream goals for the next few months Dec-February: READ through a full novel intensively, READ through a full novel extensively, LISTEN READ METHOD through Guardian. If I get any single of these goals done I will be an immensely happy excited person! If I get more then one I’ll feel like a god tbh ToT

Secondary: listen to ALL of Chinese SpoonFed audio (and just listening in general which I’ve done well recently). WATCH through a full show in chinese only (I’m looking at granting you a dreamlike life since I’m 1/3 done already, or border town prodigal, or legend of the condor heroes). I think these goals are very very reachable for me now, I just don’t know if I’ll have the time to do any of them fully.

[yoitschoeliearldylan]

The Jump is Beautiful

Peace has its ways to demand attention.

According to the calendar, it has been half a year. 7 months next week to be exact. To be honest, I stopped counting at 4. It doesn't feel necessary anymore. Gone are the days where I tell myself "I can't believe it. It still doesn't feel real" and need a constant reminder that time has passed and will not go back. Now are the days where they feel the most real and where time not passing fast enough becomes my worst reminder.

My close friend committed suicide last May. And I knew it.

The night before May 15 was weird. You could call it a premonition or somewhat paranoia but I felt something was wrong. I couldn't pinpoint right away what I was feeling but my chest felt heavy and tears fell for no reason. I was scared, remembering now how I felt that evening. I had an instinct of asking one person how they were feeling. I gave words of encouragement. I admitted to them that I felt something was wrong and just wanted to make sure they were fine. Guess what? Wrong friend. Or I guess just not the right one at that moment.

My close friend committed suicide last May. And now we're lost.

I was in school cramming a group paper for a major when our barkada chat popped up. Our friend that was his coursemate was the one who messaged. I started to feel my heart getting heavy. The feeling I had last night came back and my worst fears came true when he finally told us the news. I was in disbelief. We called each other up and ask who was free so we could just be together. I asked my groupmates if I could just help tomorrow then left to meet with friends. It was the worst reunion ever.

What followed was a series of sleepless nights and endless bouts of crying throughout the week of his wake. Every part of his death was a reminder of the last time I missed a death. It was even in the same place. And every part of me was blaming myself again like last time. If I reached out more, maybe just maybe Peace wouldn't have to. 

The third day of his wake where I finally stopped crying excessively, I went back to our chatbox and found a conversation of ours on how we were struggling to find time to meet up as a barkada. He wasn't complaining though he even said a hello across the hallway was enough. I was lucky because he had a Stat subject last year so I got to see him for like 5 minutes every other day. We would chat for a bit about anything even if we both had classes. The friendship was always that simple to him. He just love simply being together, doing nothing particularly exciting. And now that's what all we want also: to be together.

“Most of the time sapat na yun sa akin e.”

This was the second time I knew something was wrong but still chose not to do anything. This was the second time I chose not to hold on. But this will be the last time that I didn't start doing something. 

My close friend committed suicide last May. And it will not be in vain.

What we can do

My friend did not tell us at any point his diagnosis. The one time he told us anything about his mental health was when we had a reunion because one of us in the barkada was going to do a semester abroad in Japan. He opened up about going to a therapist and working on his issues with himself. He told us that he has this thing that when he is happy, he thinks that it won't last so he just sabotages it himself so at least he knows when the happiness will end. He opened up about having times where he feels depressed or feels pressured about his academics. Even during that lunch, he said he can only stay until 1 since he had to go back to school to study. This was the time I should have done more like ask how he was everyday or send words of encouragement every now and then. 

In 2017, WHO released statistics on mental health citing suicide associated with depression as the second leading cause of death among people ages 15-29. DOH also presents that the suicide rate for men and women for every 100,000 people is  2.5 and 1.7 respectively. This has become such a problem that in DOH's 2017 budget plan, 100 million was allotted for mental health drugs and 1 billion for mental health facilities. But the government can only do so much. The stigma around mental health problems as just excuses or only weaknesses of the person prevents people from seeking out help even if it is available. We must start by first educating ourselves with what depression and disorders in the same category in order to begin the process of eliminating the stigma on mental health. 

Saundra Ciccarelli (2017) explains Major Depressive Disorder as "when a deeply depressed mood comes on fairly suddenly and either seems to be too severe for the circumstances or exists without any external cause for sadness". It some sense it is not logical. It is not something you can eliminate in their sight so they can feel better. Neither is it something you can reason them out of. According to Ciccarelli causes of depression may be: 

1. Repressed anger towards authority figures

2. Learned helplessness (tendency to stop trying after past failures)

3. Self-defeating thoughts

4. Variation in neurotransmitter systems

With the first reason, consultations with family guidance counselors may be done or just having a more open conversation as a family can help. For the second and third reason, extra caution in the words we use must be made. Every mistake they make, they will amplify and intensify guilty feelings. It is important to not only think about what we say but also how we say it. I implore you to read more upon this so you can understand what a person having depression or depressive moods is going through. Asides from what is mentioned, it is important we are also aware of the free facilities and services near our places that can accommodate new clients. 

Me taking Psych 101 and writing this blog post is just step number 1. He has changed my life and many others'.

Farewell

To Edel, 

How weird is it that the only time I talk to you at length is for a subject. Last time it was for Eng 10 case study, now for Psych 101? I guess you understand me anyway.

You were the first person not to question my insecurities when making friends with what I called "popu" kids. You just kept on trying and eventually you broke down the wall I put up. You are one of my best friends and I'm sorry I never told you that. You were always there to help everyone in our group even if that meant you driving out of the way just to go to us. I remember you fetching me one time at my house so I wouldn't be hassled with transportation to your despedida. I remember you baking cookies for a girl that eventually gave it away (tough man but hey at least you learned how to bake haha). I remember you taking on 3+ roles for your section's school play. I remember you. In all ways you never looked at yourself. You are the kindest, most generous, and loving person.

But you weren't without your flaws.

You had your own wall, one where I only noticed far too late in our friendship. It wasn't like you weren't open about your emotions just not specific ones. I just wished I caught onto it so I could've convinced you that you were a far greater person that what you think. If I saw every doubt when it came to your decisions, I would've told you that I was proud no matter what choice. If I saw every hesitation when you wanted to speak, I would've made you feel comfortable until you were ready to tell us.

But really, would I have? Because it is because of you that right now I am not afraid to ask people how they are doing. I don't care if I come off as FC. It is because of you that I talk about my feelings to my friends and to God. It is because of you that I learned to love my friends explicitly. I just wished that "because of you" wasn't in exchange for you.

I miss you. I miss you everyday. We miss you everyday. And right now, days are still pretty heavy but they will get better because you gave us a reason to be better for each other and for you. Thank you for everything. I'll see you when I see you and don't worry I'll give you more than a high five.

To everyone suffering in even the most simplest way, you are enough and more than enough all at the same time.

A sight is never too beautiful to resist.

[taesthetes]

hi, cutie pie, vn army anon here~ oh wow my asks get so long, I'm so sorry:( and not at all! omg I'm such a bother to you, sorry again for such long asks! and I'm not talented, vietnamese is my mother language so ofc I'm fluent in it, then I moved to europe since a kid so the language of the country I live in is like my 2nd language. eng+german is taught at school and I've watched german channels since I was a kid so these languages are not that hard to me:) and that's great you know spanish!:o–

–I’ll probably never learn korean tho:)) I’m not in college yet, I’m a senior on business academy high school and I don’t really enjoy it so hopefully I could graduate and get on a college in the field I’d enjoy. oh wow you can do both, I’m impressed! and yes, make a choice you’ll be satisfied with, if you enjoy something else more don’t hesitate and go for it, who knows maybe you’ll like it more:) I read the tmi series till part 5 and to me it was good but I wouldn’t go back to it. and yes,–

–cassandra clare had various diff series (the infernal devices, the bane chronicles, etc.) & I see, I was into fantasy a lot back in earlier days so that’s why. oh, talking about cooking shows there’s a comedy sitcom called “young&hungry” with emily osment as female lead and it’s really funny! there’s maybe s5 already but ever since I was into kdramas&kpop I dropped all my amr shows. each ep lasted only smth over 20 mins tho so it was fast. oh, you were into exo? are you still into them?–

–I checked your bts police masterlist and it all sounds interesting, I’m excited to read other members! the police au is a good insp for gfx^^ also I wanted to tell you that jilt killed me&cerise was so fun to read, I really enjoyed it! I was also struggling the 1st time I used PS and still am tbh. I still have a long way ahead to learn:) and I’m not sure yet, like I do enjoy it but idk if I should study it, I’ll see. I enjoy reading your messages&talking to you too💕 ikr they were my otp so I–

–was happy hearing about them dating irl, pity their relationship didn’t last longer. it was actually that idea I had that I shared with you:) I’d like to write a series based on this form in future. have you watched “stuck in love” yet? and I recommend POBAW movie! I loved the friendship between emma watson, logan lerman&ezra miller in the movie. I hope I’ll gather my courage one day&come off anon but I’m still not feeling to it yet😅 have a wonderful day&I’m sorry for my long asks once again❤️

hi, raindrop!! ahhh, it’s totally okay, you don’t need to apologize for that! you are not a bother at all, and i like reading your asks and talking to you, so please don’t worry about it! 💕 and my answer got long again oops, so i’m putting it under the cut; i hope you don’t mind!

omg you were taught two languages in school though, like that’s so impressive!! :o and speaking german is amazing wow my friend tried teaching me a few words before, and i completely butchered the pronunciation 😅 and i would probably be too overwhelmed to be studying two languages at once akdjfalskjf and you’re already speaking two other languages at home- how do you not mix up your languages?? i sometimes slip back and forth between english and vietnamese haha and don’t give up on korean! since you’re so proficient in language and are interested in them, i’m sure you’ll be able to easily learn it :D

is your high school specialized for students studying business only? :o i didn’t know they have that- that would’ve made choosing majors much easier for me aha. but yes, i hope you’ll be able to study what you like next year in college!! 💗 and yes! i really love studio arts, but i know it’s hard to get a job in that field, hence the business major as well.

yeah, i saw she had a lot of series, and they all look super interesting, but the thing is, when i start a series, i binge read the entire thing, and i don’t have time for that ): i really enjoy the fantasy genre, too! i just loved the idea of magic and being able to control it. oooh, no i haven’t heard of that show; i’ll check it out!

and yes, i am an exo fan! i used to be really into them, but my biases kept leaving and i was the biggest exo m fan, so i kind of gave up on them.. i still do listen to them, and i watch exo showtime and their other guest variety shows when i’m feeling nostalgic, but i don’t actively follow up on them, like i do with blackpink or bts. are you an exo fan? :)

and thank you!!! i’m really excited to write the other members for the bts police au 💓 adjkfjalsk omg police!bts gfx– i need to brush up on my PS skills so i can attempt to make some. and thank you so much aksjdhfaksf 💘 i like jilt because it was fun to write a cliche scene from a different perspective, and omg cerise– i just really like writing embarrassing scenes lmao

ahaha i’m sure you’re much better than me at PS though because i haven’t touched it in a while 😅 and you should definitely try designing! maybe take a couple classes to see if you like it? but omg yeah, lily collins and sam claflin were really cute together 💗 and yes, i remember! i hope you do write it, and i’m really excited for your future series!! do you have any idea which member you’ll write it for? :)

and yes, i watched “stuck in love”! i really enjoyed it, and it really did seem like there should’ve been a book version of the movie too!! i thought it was really cool how each family member was like a parallel of each other, like how bill was sleeping with a married woman, while erica was a married woman who slept with another man and rusty likes a girl who isn’t the best with relationships and sam is a girl who avoids relationships and ends up with lou, who’s like one of those “hopeless romantics” she tells her brother about. i’m excited to watch “the perks of being a wallflower”! i really like all three actors/actress starring in that movie. and that’s completely okay! please keep staying on anon if that’s what you feel comfortable with :) and there’s no need to be sorry! i really like talking to you!! 💞 i hope you’re having a good day and night, too! how was your day? did you do anything fun and exciting? :D

[mikumanogi-blog]

2017-09-13 “Things that changed. Things that haven’t changed. Things I want changed.” Kubo Blog #23 [ENG]

“I’ve been really troubled about what would be good to write about… I think it’ll be a disorganized blog but please try and bear with me  (´･_･`)”

This was the beginning of my first ever blog. If I think about it just writing this paragraph, I was troubled, distressed, anguished. On that section alone I remember spending 40 minutes. This is Kubo Shiori’s 23rd blog.

 Hello everyone, thank you for your continuous hard work. I’m Nogizaka46’s 3rd generation, 1st year high school student, 16-year-old, Kubo Shiori. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Nogi jersey. Woo. I like it. Here you go! I’m feeling energetic today.

 Yes! Let’s talk about this to start today’s blog.

 September 3rd, 2017, we held the bowling competition special event, thank you very much. This was only the second time in my life I’ve been bowling. I mainly threw the ball in the gutter. Nope. The first round I only got the ball in the gutter, but why did I come in second.

Then everyone told me, “Kubo chan you’re the goddess of victory aren’t you.” Everyone was spoiling me. I apologize…I wasn’t able to knock them down (´･_･`) and in the second round the most pins I knocked down was three. So when our team said that “our goal is for each person to knock down one pin,” they were extremely happy when I knocked down three.

It was an extremely heartwarming bowling competition. It was a super fun (´･_･`) thank you!

On the next day there was the dinner cruise! My table was Ayane san, Ririan and me. Halfway through Mizuki also joined our table!

Ayane san was extremely trustworthy (´･_･`) While doing a quiz with the fans, I did my best to answer the questions, data and statistics I didn’t know (´･_･`) it was fun, it made me think ‘I want to do a quiz again’ (´･_･`) I want to hurry up and do another quiz (´･_･`) Thank you very much!!!

 Then, on September 9th we held another Seven Eleven Live Concert!! It’s been a long time since we’ve been able to perform in front of everyone, this was sooo much fun (´･_･`) I wonder how many times I sang in my head “ahh, so fun. Ahh so fun.’ (´･_･`)… I had the strong feeling once again that I want to perform in front of everyone even more. Thank you very much.

 Then, the next day, September 10th, was the national handshake event!! ✨ Thank you very much!! I was paired with Renka!! She’s honestly so adorable. Please let me talk about her for just a little bit.

 When I was doing the handshake, I heard a lot of loud laughing voice and high pitch sounds of ‘EHHHH”, and this raised my energy. It made me feel two years younger (´･_･`) I think Renka has the power to make people smile. But it’s not just that she smiles for fun, just by seeing her smile the people around naturally start smiling too. I was so lucky to be able to see that wonderful smile from beside her all day. Even though she’s younger, she’s easy to talk to. I always deliberately call her Renka chan. She’s so adorable I can’t help it. Renka chan. Let’s go shopping together soon.

 To tell you the truth, in this picture I’m hugging her while sitting in her lap. Do you feel jealous?

When you look at it from this angle it looks like Shiori is the younger sister doesn’t it. ‘EH, that’s not the case?’ thank you.

 After thinking, ‘I want to eat a cream puff’ in my time of need I casually went to Nogizaka and ended up eating a Choux pastry!! Is there anything happier than this? I was so happy (´･_･`) As I thought, happiness is something you can call for. Even if you wait it’s not something that will come to you. That’s what I have learned.

 Next, September 6th was Yoshida Ayano Christie’s birthday. Happy Birthday Aya chan! I’ll show you all this super cute picture of Aya chan as a present. Honestly, I wanted to keep it on my phone and not share it but… I like sharing what has been given to me and therefore I’ll share it with everyone!

Recently whenever our eyes meet I wink. When they do she reacts with a ‘you got me ♡’ recently I don’t know what I should do. Aya chan (´･_･`) I’m sorry (´･_･`) I love that gentleness about you.

If I must say so myself, I think I took a good picture. I love ya Aya chan (´･_･`)♡

 And then! Today, September 13th… is Momo chan’s birthday, Happy Birthday!! Momo chan is really kind and because of her I can’t help but think that people with such pure hearts truly exist on this planet. But I feel like I’ve said this before….

Momo chan likes taiyaki and so I thought I would buy her one, so I went for a walk looking for a taiyaki store. I couldn’t find one, but instead found a Japanese sweets store nearby and there I bought a sweet called ‘Nobori Aya (Climbing trout)’ They’re both fish!!!

Happy Birthday Momoko (´･_･`)!!!

 Please let me make some announcements.              

<On Sale Soon>

·         July 15th: Ex Taishu sama

Yamashita and I were both allowed to do a front cover shot. I’m super glad. Since joining Nogizaka46 a year ago this is my first front cover. Please check it out

·         September 28th platinum FLASH sama

I did a solo photoshoot. This was a day many miracles happened. I’m happy that we were able to do the shoot on that day. I’m overjoyed to be able to do a solo shoot. Please check it out.

·         September 30th BUBKA sama

I did a solo photoshoot. I’ve wanted to say this for so long and I finally have… (´･_･`) Thank you very much. Every day I occasionally think that I want to do a photo shoot like this… after thinking, I can’t believe that I was actually able to do it…I feel surprised but at the same time extremely overjoyed. It’s my first time being able to talk about my feelings in a full and relaxed way. On that day I fell in love once again with photoshoots. Please make sure to check it out. Thank you very much!!!

·         October 10th CM now sama

I did a shoot with Miona san. This was my first time doing a shoot with her and I was very nervous. As I thought, there was a lot I could learn from her, I was watching her the entire shoot. There were times during the shoot with Miona san that I couldn’t stop laughing. Our solo time together ✨ I couldn’t stop smiling. It comes out in a while from now but please check it out.

 Today I was able to make some new announcements to everyone. Please make sure to buy them. I tried to show of sides of me that I haven’t shown before. Ahhh, I’m also excited for the release dates.

 As a member of Nogizaka’s 3rd generation it has been one year since I’ve joined. Which means, please let me do my self-introduction once more.

 Kubo Shiori

Birthdate: July 14th 2001

Cancer

Blood type: O

From: Miyagi Prefecture

Favorite foods: Yogurt, Ice cream, soybeans

Hobbies → writing letters

What are you working hard on right now → studying make-up

Treasure　→ an angel plushie

〜please quickly read through this〜

On my days off I don’t usually leave the house, I clean the house, watch tv, cook, and eat a lot of delicious food. I like relatively simple western clothing. I can’t do my make-up, I’m in the process of learning. I like talking. There are times at the handshake events where I talk before the fans. I love live concerts; I strain my eyes to see people in the back. I try and find towels and handheld fans. I love photoshoots. Taking photoshoots for magazines is my favorite job. I always want to try and show different sides of me to a lot of people.

 I structured my introduction a little bit differently than usual. To those who are saying “I want to hear more”, please ask again at a different time.

 Well then, once again, on September 4th, 2017, exactly one year has passed since I joined Nogizaka46s as a member of the 3rd generation. The days during the past year have just flown by. There are many things that I have experienced over this year and all of them were important parts of shaping me into who I am today. Through this process I’ve met and been supported by, the senior members, other 3rd generation members, the staff, everyone involved in the group and finally the fans.

Especially during the Midsummer Tour 2017 was I able to feel the grandeur of the senior members. Learning by watching what they do, I’ve been able to learn a lot. By watching what they do I have arrived at where I am today. However, watching by learning is meant only for the first year, from here on I can’t keep only doing that I should do other things as well.  

On November 7th and 8th, I’ll be able to stand with the senior member on the stage of Tokyo Dome. I’ve been blessed which such circumstances, I can’t take it lightly. I need to work hard to find a way do contribute to the group.

 Within all the experience I had over the last year, I was able to find, little by little, things I wanted to try, make come true and to challenge. Moving forward if I put something into words, I need to accomplish it. It want to be someone that’s good at carrying out one’s words.

I have a very serious and earnest personality, when I encounter the words of the fans I don’t feel as though I have the luxury to think “what should I do…” Instead, I throw my heart and soul at what is before me, and I focus on trying to force out the best possible results. Everyone is the source of my strength. Thank you as always.

 For just a little, I’m going to tell you something I’ve been wanting to say for a while.

 I wonder if Shiori has changed a little bit.

What does everyone else thing?

Do you think she’s change?

That’s the way I’ve always wanted to ask. However, that’s not the right way, I need to be one to realize my change. I need to be the one to notice it. If I don’t notice my own change then I definitely haven’t changed.

Over the course of the past year, there are a lot of change to my circumstances. However, internally I still can’t say with any confidence in what way I’ve changed. Right now, after one year has passed, I wanted to write it down and I wanted to convey these feelings to everyone as fast as possible.  

I know I’ve said it many times and you’re probably sick of hearing it but.

I will be different.

 You say you’ll be different, but what is exactly is that will be different? What is fundamentally changing? Is there something you still want to be changed? Yes these are questions that I’m often asked.

It is not decided how I will change. I’m not deciding how I will change. Without deciding, in the environment I am placed in now, in what way will I be able to change… that’s how I’m thinking about it. This is where I want to satisfy my change.

On top of that, if I stay the way I am now and I continuously ask you, “what do you think?” I think you’ll get tired of someone like me. I don’t want to be like that and so that’s why I want to change. One day you’ll see a changed me, I want to be changed for the people who know me.

 It may be suffocating but that’s who I am. I love people who are able to accept and understand the fact that there are people like me out there.

I’m going to continue to walk along this tightrope, and I may be swaying but please look after me.

 You won’t regret it everyone.

One picture right after I joined and one picture one year later. The pose is unexpectedly the same.

The picture on top is close to the first time I took a close-up selfie. It was so long ago it, long before I even joined Nogizaka I thought about trying to do a selfie. There was a time I tried really hard to find a good angle for my cell phone, but I couldn’t seem to do it right. I still had a picture of that time and I showed it to Hazuki. After I showed it to her, she laughed really hard. It looked like a passport photo. “Post it on your blog one day!” she said, but I don’t have the degree of confidence to post it.

 This is the slowest my pen has moved for any blog up till now. Honestly, the more and more I think about what kind of feelings I want to convey to you the harder they seem to come out.

 The second year. If I do the same thing as the first year not much will change and therefore, I don’t think I will do the same things I did in the first year.

 I’ll write again.

Kubo Shiori.

 Words without falsehoods. You cannot just say the beautiful things. It does not always have to be beautiful. It does not always have to be perfect. If I write about my true and honest feelings, they will be conveyed to everyone, delivered, believed. I’ll keep writing these long blogs.

Not only documents and length. I write what I want. Throw away your twisted pride and write your raw feelings.

 Is that kind of blog ok too?

 Embarking on the second year.

↑TL:

To everyone,

It has been one year since we’ve joined Nogizaka46.

Thank you so much for watching over our growth up till now.

This last year has flown by.

Within that year I’ve met and talked to all of you.

These words have always been the source of my strength. Even now that hasn’t changed.

I want to become a person that nobody gets bored of.

In the second year I’ll continue to run.

Please continue to look after me.

Thank you so much.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Kubo Shiori

 https://blog.nogizaka46.com/third/2017/09/040636.php

[rigelmejo]

November Goals Update

oh wow so i checked my november goals and... wow did I barely follow my own plans lol ToT

i am sad to report that i hardly did anything on that list.

I think I did:

 roughly 4-6 chapters of Listening-Reading method.

read maybe 10 chapters in chinese this past month ;-; I also read a few pages of a few new novels (Peach Blossom debt, demon wants to hug, Sa Ye, Poyun)

did like 2-4 hours speaking practice with my putonghuaxuexi app

got into clozemaster again, did 559 sentences on the Fast Track (I’m currently in the 1000-2000 most common words region)

got onto tandem, texted in chinese a bit (but very basic convo and not much, so it wasn’t really improving)

watched a lot of chinese shows but it was with an eng sub so it doesn’t really count (I’d like to think it makes a tiny bit of difference tho, since I have been noticing better listening comprehension lately)

listened to like 2 audio files in the Chinese Spoonfed Audio files (so little...)

watched roughly 1 episode of a chinese show with only chinese subs (I SHOULD up this number honestly, because when i did the episode it was not draining and i was relaxed and sleepy so like i clearly Can do this task without mentally draining myself now... its just motivation...)

for the sake of my heart... i did write 3 little mini chinese stories, just for fun. they were not hard though or very challenging, and probably a hot mess though, so all this really means is maybe my active vocabulary is getting a touch bigger. i also had a few convos with myself in chinese just to see if i could word my thoughts in chinese - i guess upside with this is my rough chinese active vocabulary is getting closer to my french >o>

The only real positive I see here is... ToT I at least did some things, so my skills won’t slip too much! But this is not nearly as much as I’d hoped to do. I do not think I did much to actually Improve this past month...

So I think my November goals will move forward and also be my December goals... I will do a December goals update post later.

If I think I did anything decent this month is was: 

Reading - not nearly as much as I wanted, but it feels directly helpful Every time I try to read more, so I’m going to keep doing it. And I’m glad I read at least a bit this month.

Clozemaster - while it is an activity I just do maybe 10-20 minutes a day in minute long bursts, I am happy i’m doing it because i was ABLE TO DO IT CONSISTENTLY. it was easy enough to get myself to do, that when I got too busy to read, I could do this each day still. Its a compact way to at least pick up some new vocab and hanzi. It’s roughly similar to anki, but unlike anki, I can actually focus on Clozemaster (for now). So I’ll probably keep doing it. It’s easy to slot into down time like commercials or when I’m waiting for things. If nothing else, it helps keep me studying at least a little. Also you know me i LOVE the challenge of hearing what someone else did and trying to do it TOO to prove if it works. Someone said they did the Spanish Fast Track in Clozemaster, watched shows in Spanish, and that’s how they got to B1. So of course... I have to see if doing the Chinese Fast Track, and watching more shows in only Chinese, will boost up my own language ability lol. (This is also how I got myself to learn the 2000 most common words AND try to read initially - someone posted they used X common word decks, then jumped right into reading, and so I was like “if they can do it so can I” and I did it too ToT which was rough but did sort of work).

Incorporating more LISTENING. I did a few hours of Listening-Reading, and honestly I just need to in SOME WAY be increasing my listening practice! I’m thinking about just listening to audiobooks in the background again, or listening to condensed audio files of shows in the bg. Because like... although I think Listening-Reading is the FASTEST way so far I’ve used to boost my listening skills (and pick up some new words while doing it), doing any listening has clearly been helping a ton. I know that in the few months I HAVE been adding more listening activities, I’ve already seen major benefits. Its much easier for me now to hear words before I manage to read the eng or chinese subtitles - and to be able to hear ONLY audio and still be able to understand the sentence or phrase. I was watching Fearless Whisper in only chinese last night, and I’m not sure if they have a Shanghai accent but I could tell they were saying some words differently but it was still quite easy for me to pick out the words/phrases being said (again, faster then glancing at the chinese subtitles). In Go Ahead, which I’ve been watching with chinese eng dual subs, I can catch a lot of the dialogue (since its daily life) without needing to look at the subs. I’ve been having a much easier time hearing chinese songs and picking out the phrases and words I know and guessing at the song’s lyrics (and singing along’s been easier just since I can catch the sounds without needing the text lyrics as much). Just like... in general I am well aware this listening more has definitely helped the skill. And its so easy to improve too!! You just LISTEN MORE! (Although, Listening-Reading is quite mentally draining, but with that you’re also picking up new words so its worth the drain a bit). But like.. if you just read, then separately do listening practice, the listening skill seems to drag itself up to match what words you know in reading. So at this point ANY listening activity I do is helpful! The Chinese Spoonfed Audio is so useful! I just get so bored of ‘educational’ style materials I avoid doing it. (Which is why clozemaster is useful - I only have to see educational material for 1 minute at a time - but if i do too much of that I’d probably avoid it too). So like... I’ve been avoiding Listening this past month because I don’t want to listen to something boring, and I don’t want to do something as intense as Listening-Reading. So I think the lesson for me is just... do something involving listening. Its okay if its ‘less perfect’ because its just random audio like a audio book or audio drama - if it gets me TO listen to something, its helpful enough.