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link4eva · 3 years

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Kiro’s Seeking Date Translation [CN]

Hey, everyone! Just a couple of things before you begin reading. I don’t actually know any Chinese so this translation was done through the power of Google Translate. A HUGE shout-out to @keliosyfan and @cheesy09 for helping me with edits and revising. Thank you!!! 💛

Here’s a link to the date video uploaded by @keliosyfan that you can follow along with.

Also, here’s a link to the call that comes before the date.

*TW: I feel like I should note that this date has mentions of human trafficking.*

This translation contains spoilers for a date that has not yet been released to the ENG server. If you wish to not be spoiled, please don’t look below the cut.

Hope you enjoy~ 💛

*Spoilers for future content below!*

[First Part]

??: What are you doing kidnapping her, idiot?!

??: She has been with Helios for so many years, she must be his most important woman.

??: With this woman, we can make him write off his debts and also crush his spirit as a gift to those foreigners.

In the dimness, two male voices drifted into my ears.

My hands were tied behind me, and the rope bore through the cloth on my body. The rough and wet touch made me very uncomfortable.

??: If he really cared about this woman, would he always keep her by his side? Tell everyone that she is his weakness?

??: This woman is a target he bought four years ago to get rid of trash and see who in the city found him unpleasant!

Although I was very certain that these people were telling the truth, after hearing those words, my heart still couldn’t help but ache.

??: This is the end of the matter. This woman can’t stay.

??: Sooner or later, that beast Helios will know what you have done. He would never let us get away with it. *Changed some wording*

??: This person has just been taken away, and Helios won’t be so fast.

The icy sound of a knife unsheathing made me clench my teeth. My whole body shook.

The hemp rope had been cut with the blade hidden in my sleeve, and I waited for the opportunity as it gradually approached.

Even though I closed my eyes, I could always see that person’s face and a pair of indifferent blue eyes.

If I died, would he be sad?

??: Hope... is the most precious thing in this world.

??: Do you want to go with me?

I can’t die yet.

But just before I acted, someone ended up being faster than me.

With a “shink”, it seemed that a sharp weapon pierced the glass and embedded itself into the wooden board. The sudden noise made my heart constrict.

??: Don’t open your eyes.

After an extremely cold and commanding voice sounded, there were shrill screams. In the continuous plethora of sounds, there was the harsh sound of bones being twisted.

I closed my eyes and curled up tightly, worried that this was just a dream.

Until I was hugged in a strong and warm embrace, with the fragrance of smokey tobacco wrapping around me.

I opened my eyes blankly and caught sight of the silver hair that was eye-catching and dazzling in the gloomy thatched house.

Those blue eyes, which were normally calm, were now mixed with a little anger.

MC: ...Am I dreaming?

Helios: Do you often dream of me?

The man gave me a look, held me, and walked out the door. It seemed to be the warehouse of a wine shop.

(Cut to outside)

Suddenly his figure stopped, and I lowered my eyes to find that a man was holding onto his trousers tightly.

??: Mr. Helios, boss, please forgive us this time. We will soon have a big deal, and then we will be accommodated….

Helios: Is the restaurant I run like an orphanage?

Helios: Repaying debts is justified.

He turned a deaf ear to the man’s pleading and the whispers from the bystanders. He moved his long legs, and the man fell to the ground.

At the same time, a group of people began to move in and out of the store.

MC: Should I first….

Helios: Don’t move.

His voice sounded impatient. I blinked and didn’t speak anymore.

After the fight was over, Helios raised the corner of his mouth and gave a slight retort to the kneeling man.

Helios: Mr. Cao, you’re welcome to visit Spring Moon Pavillion next time.

??: You foreign devil, don’t lie! Go to hell!

The curse echoed behind us, and the sound of a solid, steady heartbeat fell upon my ears.

Here, people called him many things-- Mr. Helios, the boss, foreign devil.

No one knew his origins. There was a rumour that seemed to say he was of mixed race.

Most of the restaurants, diners and pawn shops in the city were under his name, and there were many other shady places.

Countless people ate his meals, and countless people enjoyed his turf. They were his business partners, his subordinates, and his debtors.

He was the unspoken ruler of this city.

Everyone here respected him and feared him.

MC: Are you hurt?

I felt the person stepping forward seem to pause, but it was only momentarily.

Helios: No.

I leaned into that somewhat cold embrace, and in my sorrow, it seemed to overlap with the heavy snow from four years ago.

[Second Part]

(Flashback)

I stretched my arms strenuously, trying to grab the flying photograph.

The man behind me tightened the chain on the back of my neck, leaving only the muddy photo in my blurred vision, which ended up crushed with shoe prints on the ground.

Like unforeseen freedom, it broke free, but also decayed. Like my freedom, slowly slipping away with each step.

The world was covered with a film and the insults behind me were drowned out, and only cold white noise remained.

Suddenly, a pair of delicate leather shoes stopped next to the photo, and someone picked it up in the next second.

I blinked slowly, and found an eye-catching and sharp silver light under the extremely gloomy sky.

It was like the first speck of snow that one would find stunning in the late winter, burning straight into people’s eyes, beautiful and cold.

The boy looked around the same age as me, and a pair of azure blue eyes met my own.

The biting cold caused my reaction to delay and another pair of distant and similar pupils appeared before my eyes.

But they were warmer and brighter.

??: Snap out of it!

When my consciousness was pulled back to reality by the pain, I heard screams that did not belong to me. The force that restrained me suddenly disappeared, and I fell directly to the ground.

I reluctantly raised my eyes and found that the silver-haired boy had come over at some point, twisting the man’s wrist with one hand. His gaze shifted from the photo in his hand to me.

??: Did you stay in the orphanage in the east of the city as a child?

I looked at him dumbfoundedly and lost my voice for a moment.

??: Answer me.

MC: [flustered] ….Ye-yes! I stayed there for a year.

The boy’s eyes seemed to light up for a moment because of my answer, and then became alienated in the blink of an eye.

He threw the man aside, lowered his eyes and wiped off the mud from the photo with his white sleeves, then squatted down and handed it to me.

??: I’ll only ask once.

??: Come with me?

I stared at him in a daze, and the roaring from the outside world came to an abrupt end. Only the voice of the boy in front of me and my own heartbeat could be heard.

MC: Ok.

As soon as I spoke, the boy threw a few silver bills at the man.

The heavy snow fell silently, and I was taken into his arms, like a fragmented snowflake.

The blood, water and frost all mixed together, and I heard his voice in the dizziness.

??: Starting today, you are mine.

??: My name is Helios.

??: But I don’t like this name, so don’t call me that.

MC: My name is MC….Then um….what should I call you?

His attitude left me a little perplexed.

Helios: If you have something to say, I will acknowledge it.

Helios: Is that photo important?

In the heavy snow on the quiet road, I lifted my head laboriously, trying to muster a smile.

MC: [smiling affectionately] Very important. He was my best friend in the orphanage and a big star in the city.

MC: Everyone loved to hear him sing. He never cared about who his audience was; he shined nonetheless.

MC: It’s just… He went abroad six months ago, so he must be an even better person now.

The boy’s footsteps froze for a moment as if his feet were bound in ice and snow.

Helios: He’s just an actor.

Helios: A useless profession.

MC: But….it was his smile that gave me strength.

Without him, I would not have been able to hold on till the day I met you.

(End of flashback)

I opened my eyes and turned my head to see Helios sitting on the sofa, casually reading the newspaper. As usual, he should be in the restaurant at this time.

Looking at his profile, the dream I had just now made me a little confused.

It turned out that I had stayed by his side for so long.

He took me back to the small restaurant, healed my injuries and taught me all kinds of things.

Literacy, singing, dancing, medical skills, business….

He was the most ruthless and sharp blade. I had witnessed how he, with his own power, had expanded this small restaurant to its current size in just a few years.

Helios: Get up and eat if you’re awake.

The sudden words interrupted my thoughts. Helios didn’t look up as he slowly took a sip of tea from his teacup. Seeing him frown, I immediately got up from the bed.

The food had been arranged on the wooden table, the temperature just right; neither too hot nor too cold--

Obviously, the people who prepared this had carefully taken time into consideration.

I looked at the man sitting aside from the sidelines and saw the teacup he put aside. I was a little puzzled.

MC: Is that pot of tea not brewed?

Helios: It’s poisoned.

Helios: Tastes terrible.

I almost choked on the spring rolls in my mouth and sighed inwardly at his calm demeanour.

I went up to the cabinet, skillfully took out the bottle of medicine and poured out a pill. I walked up to him and handed it over.

Helios: I won’t die.

After hearing the expected answer, I picked up the pill and brought it to his mouth.

He didn’t open his mouth but stared at me coldly.

MC: You don’t need to stare at me. I’m not afraid of you.

With that said, I continued to pry open his mouth with the pill.

Probably moved by my fearlessness, his mouth finally opened slowly and swallowed the pill.

I smiled with satisfaction and when I turned around to continue enjoying my spring rolls, a pair of cool palms swept over my waist.

The incense stick burned quietly, and a small sigh and familiar body temperature covered me closely from behind.

Helios: Don’t you blame me for using you as bait?

He closed his eyes. His long eyelashes were covered with sunlight and his brows were furrowed.

MC: You taught me that there is no meaningless business in this world.

MC: You bought me. My life is yours.

Helios: That’s the spirit.

The person behind slowly opened his eyes, his pupils full of jest and scrutiny.

MC: Today I just wanted to go to the temple to ask for a peace charm like in previous years.

MC: I was going to go there by myself, but I didn’t want to cause you trouble.

He probably didn’t believe me. Even so, I explained it word by word.

A cool finger stroked my neck and entangled a few strands of my hair.

Helios: How many years have you been with me?

His sudden question had me stunned for a moment.

MC: ….Three years and two hundred and seventy-five days.

Helios: It’s three years and two hundred and seventy-six days.*

*This is a little Easter egg that @keliosyfan spotted. “When Helios asked MC how long she has been with him, she says "3 years, 275 days" but he corrects her saying "3 years, 276 days". If you put the numbers together you get 3276 which in CN numeric slang means "love Qiluo(Kiro) for life" or "生爱棋洛"So in a way, he wants MC to say "I love Kiro for life"(3276/生爱棋洛). 🥺😭🤧”

Although his voice was faint, it was conclusive.

I thought about it and didn’t argue with him. For me, there was no difference between one more day and one less day.

Helios: Want to leave?

MC: ….?

He laughed suddenly, but only slightly mocking this time.

Helios: I can teach you enough to live a better life.

After that, he stood up. The sudden drop in temperature made me feel a little cold in this midsummer weather.

Helios: Since you want to leave, I won’t stop you.

Helios: But leave before the seventh day of July.

[Third Part]

Helios left after saying this, leaving me alone in the room in a daze.

Compared to his sudden expulsion, I was more concerned about another thing.

The seventh day of July.

What was going to happen on that day?

The annexed restaurants, and suppressed merchants….I know what Helios has been doing for several years.

Would my existence cause him any trouble?

I looked at my bare wrists and couldn’t help laughing at myself.

Maybe I was locked in place by a pair of invisible shackles.

I pursed my lips and walked to the closet to take out the bag hidden in its depths. Perhaps it was just my illusion, but it seemed to have been turned over by someone.

(Outside of room)

Outside the dark room, late at night, I tiptoed over with my bag. There were faint sounds of firm punching and kicking coming from inside the room.

Helios stayed alone here every night, not letting anyone come close.

But this was my hidden secret, and I could secretly monopolize Helios at this moment.

As usual, I opened the window a crack.

In the room, Helios was half-naked, and the small old silver locket hung with silver bells, reflecting sharp lines of bright silver light in the cold moonlight.

His movements were swift and fierce, harder than usual as if he was venting out something.

His wet hair was weighed down, and sweat dripped slowly from his lower jaw and down his strong and undulating chest.

He stood at the junction of light and shadow, with most of his face hidden in the darkness.

The sound of cicadas in midsummer made people feel a little restless, and the silver locket on his chest heaved slightly as he panted hard.

Helios stood there and didn’t move. I don’t know what he was waiting for. *The music from the first Valentine’s Day event starts playing so it’s getting steamy 😏*

In the next second, those blue eyes passed through the window and were firmly locked on me.

MC: ….!

I instantly withdrew my head and squatted down.

Helios: ….Come in.

Helios: I’ll only say it once. *Don’t need to tell me twice!! 😩😩 *

Hearing the slightly stiff tone, I stood up, lowered my head, and pushed the door open. I only took a single step in and then stopped.

Helios: I don’t see you this compliant on weekdays.

MC: ….You knew?! Then why did you never let me go before….

Helios: For my own pleasure.

I suddenly raised my head and found that he had positioned himself right in front of me. His scorching body temperature seemed to be able to cross the distance between us and set me on fire.

MC: I-I didn’t come here today to take a peek, I just….

He lowered his eyes and his gaze flicked across the bag I was holding behind me. His smile melted into a bit of a smirk.

Helios: If you’re saying goodbye, you don’t...

MC: I want you to teach me some martial arts.

I held my breath and did not miss the momentary surprise that flashed through his eyes.

MC: What you taught me isn’t enough.

Helios looked at me condescendingly, his eyes dim. A breeze flitted past my ear as his hand smacked against the door frame behind me.

Helios: Not enough?

In this tense atmosphere, I tried my best not to avoid his gaze.

MC: You taught me a lot, but….it felt like things had become even serious today.

MC: So I…. I still need you.

Before I finished speaking, Helios suddenly grabbed my left wrist from the outside and at the same time stretched out his leg to hook behind me.

When I lost my balance, his left hand instantly reached out to support my waist, and his right hand came out from under my arm and clasped my wrist from the front again.

When I came back to my senses, I found that I had been directly pinned to the floor, and the bag in my hands had been tossed aside.

The entire movement was executed clean and smooth, and there was only the faint sound of the silver bell on the old silver locket swaying in the silent air.

Helios: There are many people who need me in this city.

Helios: I can teach you. Want to learn?

He lowered his head slightly, and the old silver locket grazed my chest, which made me take in a sharp inhale. My entire heart and lungs seemed to be occupied by his breath.

I tried to lift up my wrists and lower limbs, but it wasn’t enough to shake off the person above me.

MC: In this bag is the money that I have saved over the past few years. The money you bought me for back then, plus four years’ worth of interest, will be given to you.

Helios: I’m not short on cash.

MC: If you accept the money, I won’t owe you anything, but I will still help you.

I tremblingly stroked the old silver locket on his chest. It carried his body temperature and made my fingertips hot.

It coincided with the seventh day of the seventh month of the first year we met. For the first time, I heard someone cursing him and wanting him to die.

I had cried and went to the temple to ask for a peace charm and an old silver locket. When I got home, I gave them to him together.

I knew that many people in this city hated him, but I wanted him to be safe.

He had just smiled sarcastically at the time, and I threw it away when he turned around. Who knew that I’d see it dangling on his chest here that night.

The silver bells chimed, just like my unstoppable heartbeat.

MC: You still wear this old silver locket.

Helios: I forgot to remove it.

His hot breath fanned my face, entangling with my own breath in the scorching air.

My fingers followed the silver chain of the old silver locket and stroked his chest. I could clearly feel his taut muscles under my fingertips.

MC: There are many orphans like me in the restaurant.

MC: Those merchants who were suppressed by you could always open new shops.

MC: Underground, the losers will always be the bureaucrats who usually bully others and gain funds out of ill will.

MC: I don’t know why you want to be a bad person in the eyes of the city, but what I see is different from others.

Helios: Ridiculous.

MC: This is what you taught me.

Looking at my smile, he snorted coldly, but the moonlight sneaking in illuminated the faint smile in his eyes.

Helios: You just said it wrong.

He glanced at my bag and lowered his body even further.

Helios: Don’t owe me anything?

Helios: The three years and two hundred and seventy-six days with me were enough for you to repay me?

MC: [confused] You didn’t even see how much there is inside….

Helios: I’ve seen it.

He pulled slightly hard, making me stand up instantly.

Helios: You owe me too much.

Helios: I’ll ask you to settle the tab later.

Helios: However, you do need to learn some self-defence skills.

Unlike his usual touch, his fingertips caressed my eyes, ears, nose and neck.

Helios: People have many weaknesses.

Helios: Eyes, ears, throat, heart…. *The way he said this sent shivers down my spine 😳🥵*

As he whispered, his fingertips kept moving downwards, making me nervously hold onto that hand.

Helios: [more sexy whispering] What’s the matter? Don’t you want to learn?

Helios: I gave you the chance to leave.

Helios: But you refused.

[Fourth Part]

Helios implemented his teaching method, “diligently” teaching from the most basic style, which made me extremely embarrassed.

MC: [flustered] ….Can you put on some clothes next time? *MC, no!! What are you even asking?! You enjoy it and you know it! 🥵

Helios: I can wear what I like.

Seeing the obvious teasing in his eyes, I ran away completely.

Finally, I asked him about what would happen on the seventh day of July, and his expression became a little solemn under the clear moonlight.

Gradually, I became even more sure that this was related to what he had done for so many years.

(Cut to store)

In the early morning of the seventh day of the seventh month of the lunar calendar, a few foreigners in suits and arrogant expressions came to the store.

These people seemed to be a little unkind, and my heart felt uneasy.

Waiter: Miss MC, a guest of the boss, made a reservation at Spring Moon Pavillion.

MC: Let me take care of it.

With a smile, I went to the foreigners and led them to the booth. I didn’t expect that Helios would already be waiting there.

The moment he saw me, his brows lightly furrowed and he tilted his head slightly.

“Leave.”

I blinked and instantly understood what he meant. After the foreigners walked into the booth, they positioned themselves again at the door.

MC: Boss, your guests are here.

After that, I took a step back and then ridicule suddenly rang out.

??: Leaving already?

Unexpectedly, a foreigner walked over, grabbed my wrist and dragged me directly into the booth.

??: Helios, you must have misunderstood.

??: What is the meaning of a group of men when talking about business?

The foreigner smiled sarcastically. I restrained the urge to shoot and looked at Helios cautiously.

In the next second, an invisible cold front flew past my face, grazing the wrist of the foreigner and leaving behind a small, bloody wound.

No one knew when he fired the shot, and Helios was still leaning on the sofa, lazily looking at the wailing foreigner. He made no effort to hide his coldness and murderous intent.

Helios: Next time, it’ll be your head.

Helios: Come here.

I stood cautiously behind Helios, and saw a man in a white suit standing up with a feigned smile.

Foreigner: Just kidding. Don’t get upset, Helios.

Helios: Is that what you learned by spying on me every day?

My heart sank and I tried my best to calm my nerves.

Have these people been spying on him?

Foreigner: Don’t say that, we just need to confirm whether you are worthy of our cooperation.

Foreigner: After all, with this kind of business, ordinary people are not eligible to participate.

Foreigner: But….we also have to look at the sincerity of the boss.

His eyes moved from Helios to me with an arrogant smile.

Foreigner: I heard that you have a well-trained girl who is clever and easy to use. I wonder if you are willing to share?

I was shocked and couldn’t move. I waited quietly for Helios’ answer.

Helios: I can.

The cicadas kept humming noisily, and for an instant, I seemed to be back to that moment from four years ago, when there was only haziness left in this world.

But I just blinked and walked respectfully from the back of the sofa to the foreigners.

It sounded like a serious matter. Maybe he wanted me to be an undercover agent for these foreigners?

Or maybe he just changed his mind again and didn’t need me anymore.

My vision became a little blurred.

Helios: Did you really think I would say that?

Helios’ arms encircled me from behind. His familiar breath came over me, and his voice was filled with pure mockery.

Foreigner: Helios, what do you mean?

Helios: Your nonsense... will anyone still want it?

The foreigner was stunned as if he didn’t expect him to say that. But in the next second, his expression became fierce again.

Foreigner: So it was you who brought those people…!

In the horrified eyes of those foreigners, Helios’ smile became even more ruthless.

Helios: I’ve been tired of looking at the faces of you idiots for a long time now.

Helios: I asked you to come today to settle the account.

At Helios’ signal, I slowly withdrew from the booth.

(Cut to lobby)

I didn’t know what would happen to them next, but maybe something would briefly end today.

I returned to the lobby and asked for the guestbook from the front desk. I wanted to distract myself but there was one face that was stuck in my mind.

Helios won’t get hurt, right?

Helios: ….MC.

Did I trouble him again just now?

Helios: MC.

An impatient sigh sounded in my ears and I felt my figure tilt, and in the next moment, I was trapped in someone’s arms.

Helios: Didn’t you hear me calling you?

MC: Helios….!

Helios: I should’ve said that only you can’t call me by that name.

In this lighted corner, the ambiguous gazes of the other guests in the lobby wandered over to us.

MC: Did you just call me? Wait… Has your matter been resolved?

MC: And let me go first. Th-there are other guests here.

Helios: This is my restaurant.

His fingertips rested on the guestbook, and a faint chilly scent emanated from him.

Helios: Did you really think I would give you to those people just now?

MC: ….

He narrowed his eyes, his voice carrying with it some faint, dangerous warning.

MC: …. I didn’t.

Helios: You’re a terrible liar.

Helios: Why did you walk over?

MC: Because I believe in you. I know you have your reasons.

I couldn’t help holding onto his drooping lapels. At this moment, Helios seemed to reveal all those sharp edges and corners of his heart.

There were only some unfamiliar ones left, which belonged to the insecurities of youth.

Helios: Ridiculous.

As he said this, he pulled me up and walked into the depths of the lobby.

MC: ….Sorry.

Helios: I’m talking about myself.

I looked up in surprise and saw his slightly ironic expression.

Helios: They have a large munitions factory behind them.

His voice was indifferent, but what he said was like a time bomb, going off in my brain.

MC: Munitions factory?!

Helios: Those foreigners have been smuggling arms into the city.

Helios: I couldn’t find the buyers and sellers, but there was always a steady stream of arms that kept coming into the city.

Hearing this, I felt cold sweat ooze from my back.

I knew what the meaning was behind all of this.

I remembered the unfinished words under the hideous faces of those foreigners just now.

Helios had found those people now.

MC: Why…. are you telling me this?

Helios: Because I want to.

In the midst of my wildly racing heartbeat, his words were sure and firm, as if something seemed to be coming to light.

MC: The merchants and bureaucrats that you suppressed were all related to this, right?

Helios’ silence secretly confirmed my suspicions, and my heart couldn’t help but race.

He always carried all the dangers by himself; walking alone in silence.

Why not ask other people for help?

Just as I was about to ask, I immediately thought of the answer.

With the continuous delivery of arms, both buyers and sellers were in the dark, and easy actions against them would only be a surprise.

Did he destroy those arms?

Helios: Strength and weapons are necessary.

Helios: Those who really need it will use them to protect important things.

He said this matter of factly with determined eyes as if understanding what I was thinking in my heart.

We walked through the corridor of the hotel and came to the street from the side door.

The dusk was heavy, the red lanterns softly brightening the sights of the entire street, and it was full of liveliness.

The girls blushed as they cuddled up with their partners under the lights and the crescent silver moon.

Such a quiet night made my nose itch.

MC: If those goods were sold to the original sellers.

MC: What would tonight have been like?

I turned my face to look at Helios by my side. The warm yellow lights shone on the side of his stern face. He didn’t say a word, probably accepting something reluctantly.

MC: What you said about this world… What do you think it will look like in the future?

Helios: There is only brief peace at the moment.

Helios: But suffering will bloom into a flower. (Sidenote: what he means to say is "no pain, no gain." It's one of Kiro's character themes :>)

He raised his head slightly, and the cold moonlight reflected in his blue eyes, like the sea under the moon.

Silent and immense, as if it could contain everything.

Seeing him like this reminded me of those distant eyes.

In a ghostly manner, I took out the crumpled old photo from my purse and held it beside his face.

Helios: Why do you carry this person’s picture with you everywhere?

MC: [smiling affectionately] Because he is special to me.

Helios: And yet you still follow me?

MC: This is different.

Looking at his teasing smile, I snorted at him and looked at the boy in the photo with a warm smile.

MC: You said that when technology advances in the future, this photo will definitely become the colour in my memory.

Under the blue sky, the blond boy was like a passionate golden sun under the eyes of the crowd.

He smiled and seemed to be able to become a source of invincible courage.

He could gather endless amounts of enthusiasm as long as he stood there.

His voice turned into notes and tunes, dancing along with the wind, driving some of the darkness away.

In this devastated generation, he was like a burning flame.

Kiro: I’m Kiro.

Kiro: Thank you for listening to my song.

Helios looked at the yellowed black and white photo, looking a bit dazed for a while, and a little lonely.

Helios: No one in this city remembers him anymore.

MC: I still remember.

MC: Even if the whole world doesn’t, I will remember him.

In those turbulent years, I had always remembered the embers left behind by that meteor.

Once, there was a young man named Kiro who helped me through countless dark and dull times with a smile.

Until the day I met Helios. I gained the strength to live again from this person.

MC: I think you are very similar.

MC: Although your methods are different, you are both using your own strength to illuminate and empower others.

Helios’ pupils contracted unconsciously, and became deeper with my words.

The slowly rising paper lanterns glowed with a gentle light, quietly surrounding us, like a tender embrace.

Helios: You haven’t asked for this year’s peace charm.

Hearing what he said, I suddenly remembered that because of the previous kidnapping, I couldn’t find a peace charm.

MC: Seeing your attitude before, I thought that there was something that was making you anxious, so I kept following you.

Helios: What attitude?

MC: You said I should leave before the seventh day of July. I asked you about it later, but you didn’t say anything. Wasn’t it about that serious matter?

Hearing my question, Helios froze for a moment and then turned his face to the side, his earlobes slowly turning red.

MC: Was that not what it meant?

Helios: ….

He pursed his mouth and the lights shone behind him like a splendid landscape painting.

Helios: Because “weakness” really does become a weakness.

MC: Huh?

Helios: You are the only person here who wants me to be safe and live a long life.

Helios: I was reluctant to wait until the Qixi Festival this year.

Helios: Although, I don’t understand why you would want to wish for peace during the Qixi Festival.

My heart was beating fast, and seeing Helios’ face turned to the side, I found his eyes to be brighter than the stars.

MC: [blushing] Because, because I just happened to run into you at that time. *Changed some wording*

MC: And if it’s the New Year, the wishes would all pile up on top of each other, and God won’t be able to hear them.

MC: During the Qixi Festival, maybe God is used to hearing the wishes for marriage, so he can hear my request for peace without needing it to unheard.

Helios: Then today, in addition to asking for peace, you can also wish for marriage.

Helios smiled slightly with some clarity and sincerity.

MC: ….In that case, a name is needed.

MC: But you never let me call you by this name.

I held my breath nervously and saw his face slowly leaning towards me. I didn’t mind the attention around me, and his breath slowly entangled with mine.

Helios: Let me see.

His protracted tone was a bit tempting and bewitching as if it had lost a thick shell; more naked and intimate than usual, and finally landed on my lips.

Helios: Ki-Ro.

Helios: Please use that name.

End

You can find the call that comes after this date here!

#mlqc #mlqc spoilers #mr love #mr love game #mr love queens choice #mr love dream date #mldd #mr love kiro #mldd kiro #mlqc kiro #周棋洛 #date translation #LOVED THIS DATE!!#a whole symphony of Kiro flavours #I especially liked the unexpected spice

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theheavenlymoon · 3 years

Text

I totally did this out of order, so let’s try this again!

I would like you to meet Uzuki Hanako! (うづき- Uzuki はなこ- Hanako)

(My first introduction was a hot mess, so I wanted re edit that one and put up this one instead!)

(I can’t draw for crap so I’m using picrew.)

This will basically be me talking about her rather than all the fandoms she’s in. I’m gonna be making post about her and the fandoms later, but for now it’s all about her!

First Name: Hanako

Last Name: Uzuki

Gender: Female

Race: Demigod

Age: ??? (Depending on the fandom, her age changes)

Birthday: December 27

Zodiac: Capricorn

Height: 6’3.3

Sexuality: Bisexual

JP CV: Ami Koshimizu

ENG CV: Amanda Céline Miller

FRENCH CV: Indila

(Couldn’t find a Greek CV 😔)

Nicknames: Shachi-chan (Floyd), Child of Hearth (Malleus), Ms.Herbivore (Leona), Princess, Wifey (Gojo)

Favorite food: Cheesecake, literally anything sweet

Least favorite food: Hummus, mushrooms, candy, and beans

Likes: family/friends, cooking, singing really loud to her music, working out, making clothes, nail polish, memes/vines, rain/cloudy weather, animals, purple, doing anything around the house, video games, anime, fictional books, roughhousing, and day dreaming about her crush/significant other

Dislikes: Fights between friends and family, Candy, crying in front of people, and bookshelves

Since I can’t draw I have to use picrew, but sadly some of the makers that I find have limited options so allow me to go into detail about her looks. (I’ll probably make another post about her abilities later)

Hanako has bright gold eyes and long lavender hair that goes all the way down to her mid thigh. She has two beauty marks, one under her right eye and one on the left side of her lip. Her signature hair style is space buns with the rest of her hair down in the back. Like I’ve said before, I can’t draw so I’m using characters I know as reference! This is what her body looks like.

(^ This is Flare, a character from fairy tail! I recommend watching it if you have time. Fairy tail is a very long series, but it’s really good!)

(I’m pretty sure you can look at almost all the women in Fairy tail and get the idea.)

Obviously I know that Hestia doesn’t have any demigod kids but demigods don’t have to be born the normal way. Hanako was born from fire and was given to her father. With that being said, when Hana was first claimed she was given a fire place poker but traded it in for a sword so she it could help control her pyrokinesis. (Her sword is disguised as a charm bracelet!)

As for her sword...

Hana’s sword helps her control her pyrokinesis a little better and it’s fun to try and see who can pick it up. Her sword can reach up to about 2000°F (1093°C). She has a few special moves but those are for another time.

Although Hana acts like her mom in some moments, she met Apollo and Hermes when she was quite young and those two have had a big impression on her personality. One moment she giving motherly advice, and the next moment she screaming vines across the room.

Random facts about Hanako 🌸✨

Since Hana means flower I use cherry blossoms and lavender to represent her.

Has a huge soft spot for children!

Hanako is super understanding and open. Wanna try something new? She’ll come with you, so you aren’t lonely and scared. Skydiving? What time are we leaving? Want to be left alone? Call her if you need something! Wanna try working out? She’ll be your personal trainer! Feeling down? She’s coming over with movies and snacks! Can’t make it to game night? It’s alright just be safe with whatever your doing!

Once Hanako falls, she falls hard.(Romantically speaking) She is a SIMP. She’ll wear the most giddiest smile after talking with them. Probably screamed in her pillows at least a few times. “They make my heart beat so fast, and they make me feel like the happiest girl in the world!!” - Hanako.

Attempts her best not to be obvious about her crush, and for the most part it works. Until anything other than platonic stuff comes up. Her face is gonna turn crimson if ANYONE mentions her crush in not so platonic ways, gods forbid anything even more intimate. Children of Hestia are so shy when the idea of sexual things is even bought up that they blush deeply and cannot articulate any coherent words, and any fire nearby also turns crimson as if it were blushing like the child of Hestia. This shyness is amplified if they are around their crush.

Gets kind of anxious when she’s beside a bookshelf.

She’s a smart ass. It’s gotten to the point where she does it automatically. It doesn’t even have time to process, it just comes out.

Hana is actually really good at acting and singing. She was in a few commercials and videos when she was younger but only as background characters.

Hana is amazing with kids. She grew up with 3 little brothers before she was moved into the orphanage, which meant even more kids to watch over. (she takes her big sister role very seriously)

Since she was born from fire, she can raise her body temperature up if she wanted too, and she rarely gets hot or cold. Heat based attack have no effect on her. Hana’s hugs feel like a warm blanket wrapped around you while sitting next to a fireplace, all in all just really comforting

Hana grew up around a lot of guys and so she calls everyone ‘bro’ and ‘dude’ a lot. She has a few friends who are girls but most of them are guys. That being said, she grew up rough housing and yelling.

Hana also comes from a very affectionate family. (Hugs, kisses, feeding food to each other, smashing food into someone’s face, etc.) So it’s not uncommon to see Hana tackle all of her friends into hugs and kisses.(platonically)

Hana also likes to tease a lot (curtsy of Hermes) so don’t be surprised when she tease about you burning food.

Is super flexible. I’m talking like, Mitsuri flexible. Her friends have at least saw her in the scorpion pose a few times. The more flexible she is, the easier it is to move in battle.

The woman is a tree. I’m pretty sure all of her lovers (with the exception of Gojo) are shorter than her.

She can not, for the life of her, wear heels. Anything above a 3 inch that isn’t thick, would make her snap an ankle. Besides she’s already tall enough

In terms of anger, Hana has the patience of a saint. She still gets annoyed here and there, but very rarely does she get genuinely angry. On the rare occasion that she is angry, she gets pretty violent. Veins showing from her forehead, her body temperature spikes, and she wears one of the most nastiest glare ever. (from what she’s been told) Only a select few have seen her mad.

When thrown into a new situation (or a new world-) that isn’t familiar, Hana will come off a bit sarcastic (more than usual) and aloof. She wants to get a feel for her surroundings before she can actually be herself. Give her some time to come around and she’ll be back to hyper and happy.

Hana has a bunch of hobbies. She plays volleyball and is known as the queen of the court. She loves to paint her fingernails and her toes as well. Her cooking is top tier! As a Hestia child obviously she would excel at anything that has to do with domestic and home type things.

She 100% would/will make her own dress. Once made a huge ball gown dress because none of the place had what she was looking for.

When she isn’t doing any of her hobbies she’s working out and practicing her pyrokinesis. Hana trained a lot back where she was from, so she could master her pyrokinesis and her sword. She’s gotten to the point where she can lift a car. Just because she’s in a different place doesn’t give her the excuse to slack off!!

Ironically her mother is a virginal goddess and isn’t married to anyone. Hana on the other hand, wants to get married and have kids. She shooting for 4 but it all depends on what her partner wants. (2,6,8 it just depends)

Hestia children can induce serenity and make tense situations a lot more calmer. Hanako has defeated a lot of enemies and monsters this way.

Hanako knows 4 different languages. English, Japanese, Greek, and French. She was taught Japanese by her father and Greek by her mother. She learned French and English herself

Even though Hana loves to do girly things, makeup is not one of them. She always thought it was pretty cool but she never had the time to sit down and practice it.

Thank you for reading✨ I had a lot of fun making this and I can’t wait to write more stuff about her! I’ll probably have to learn how to make a master post so her stuff is easier to access. If you have any questions about Hana my inbox is open, or you can message me in private, either way works!

I hope you stick around for more content with Hanako! 🌸🔥✨

#Hanako Uzuki #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #ocs #twst oc #twst x oc #genshin impact oc #genshin inpact #genshin impact x oc #jjk oc #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x oc #demon slayer oc #demon slayer #demon slayer x oc #obey me oc #obey me #obey me x oc

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rigelmejo · 4 years

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march - just some thoughts

i have read more this month than any other month? and its not slowing down its only 3/12 so i have 2/3 of a month to go and i’ve read 26 chapters. even if these chapters are ‘short’ at 10 pages, if i wanna count by ‘20 page’ chunks i’ve still read 13 chunks so far. and i’ve still got more time in the month left. most other months i’ve managed to read ‘a lot’ i read 10-20 chapters. so i’m doing really good.

grammar is a weird thing? in reading i feel like its quite easy now to understand. when listening or watching - same. and yet if asked ‘why do i say/type X’ or ‘why is it written/spoken like X’ i have absolutely no explanation in my head. i could not explain the grammar if prompted. this puts me in a weird place and i feel like i SHOULD go over a grammar guide again just so i can WORD what i’m intuitively understanding.

this is a bit bizarre to me because within the first 6 months of study i DID read through an entire grammar guide just to get an idea of what i was about to look at, and it hardly made sense once actually reading/watching/listening. i understood the guide fine, but actually Seeing chinese i was still confused. i would reference AllSetLearning’s Chinese Wiki on some basic points, then after 6 months i just stopped. now its been what 1.5 years and - reading is so easy, listening is so easy, grammar wise. none of the grammar confuses me. but i no longer ‘explicitly’ have any idea what the fuck the grammar is. i used to. i studied it explicitly before trying to read/listen. and yet now that i can read/listen, i have no idea how to explain the grammar. i can listen to a podcast and i don’t think about what the grammar is i just get it. i read and just know what i’m looking at. its like english - i cannot fucking explain it. Which makes speaking/writing a bit hard. Because when i try to check if i’m right i have no fucking clue HOW anymore - i just say/write what comes to mind and HOPE it makes sense. i have no way to conciously check for errors except ‘does this feel right’? And that’s not good enough for me lol. So I definitely do need to eventually read a grammar guide for explicit explanations again.

Technically I think “English and Chinese Grammar Side By Side” grammar book would be an excellent one to use. Because i read the first 50 pages of it and it compared it to english (so it explained english too), and it was very easy to understand and started basic then got more involved.

I’m probably gonna use my very old Chinese Grammar Self Taught by Thimm book instead. Just because I really like that book. Then I guess use another after (probably Basic Chinese Sentence Patterns since its modern and perfect for ‘catch your own mistakes’ study and much shorter than Eng+Chinese Grammar side by side).

Anyway I’m in a very weird place right now lol. I know i’m understanding grammar that is stuff I never even studied initially in the grammar guide, but unable to explain what it is, and a lot of stuff i did explicitly study in a grammar guide i completely forgot the explanation for. My reading and listening is GREAT, because all my effort only has to go into learning new words lately! its relaxing! Its the only part i need to do! But my writing/speaking i am very concerned about because being able to check myself for mistakes is something i’d like the ability to do.

how grammar is presented really makes a difference in how well i get it. there is some serious benefit to ‘show simple first then build up what you know’ that text books tend to prefer. versus like grammar reference books that may start with some in depth stuff.

i tried to read a japanese grammar guide the other day and 1 it was great but 2 it covered some ADVANCED stuff i never learned in genki 1+2, and so it was Explicit grammar description of stuff i had literally years ago been immersing in japanese and Still not conciously known about. So i felt. Overwhelmed lol. I felt so confused. I feel like I might switch to Tae Kim’s grammar guide primarily just because its structured with basics covered first. and i feel like until the basics are again glued into my brain, seeing even more advanced stuff just confused me so much i had no idea how to remember it. which is funny because? my usual strategy with grammar guides is to just read it and let what sticks stick and what is confusing be moved on from, in the hope i will later see it again and understand it better. so like based on what i usually do i should’ve just been able to read through it (and i’m gonna try anyway lol). but truly japanese grammar just... my mind does not like wrapping around it and remembering it. (chinese grammar is so much easier for me... so much easier....;-; )

i have been tempted to just Restart Nukemarine’s LLJ (Lets Learn Japanese) memrise decks, because I KNOW they worked for me last time really really well. And they include Tae Kim grammar lessons. And I know if i did it then maybe i’d get back to where i was years ago pretty fast.

I tried Earthlingo app. Its a cool idea, I don’t think its worth it though unless you planned to get Rosetta Stone (since Earthlingo is FREE). Earthlingo features 1000 words per language, taught to you by exploring video game worlds as an alien. Its a cool concept, but since all words seem to be nouns then you aren’t even learning the most common verbs/adjectives. And 1000 words is not a lot. And you could learn 1000 quite fast if using srs flashcards like Memrise or Anki (think weeks if you push yourself, and a month or two months if going at a regular pace). Earthlingo you have to slowly explore the worlds so that eats time, you have to choose to test yourself (so you don’t review nearly as often as flashcard apps), and one test includes walking around the world clicking the object which you’re given the word for (takes time to find the right object). All this means a word that might take maybe 15 minutes to study over a few weeks, might instead take much longer to study and learn. I don’t use duolingo because it generally covers so few words (usually 2000-4000 i think which is good for a beginner resource but you have to do the WHOLE course to get to all those words and i take so long on duolingo that could take YEARS for me versus a month on a flashcard app or clozemaster). Duolingo I also don’t use because it very slowly paces learning material (it takes me months/years to get through 1000 words on duolingo - just personally i go so slow on it, i think faster people would find a use for it). Likewise Lingodeer takes me AGES to get through (and i think covers 2000 words nowadays? I’m shocked Duolingo has more words for the japanese course tbh). However, Lingodeer is by far the best ‘app’ for Japanese grammar lessons in app practice form. Even if basically all the apps feel pretty slow to me in how fast they give you new info. Earthlingo is cool that its free, and for learners 12 and under i think it would be super useful as a way to engage them and keep them studying (since what child likes flashcards? whereas as a child i would’ve loved this). But as an adult Earthlingo is sooooo slow on how fast you can learn words, and it does not even offer very many words (1000 is a nice bare minimum but without verbs/adjectives it can only be a supplementary learning tool for beginners at best).

Link about Lingodeer having 2000 words in a course. (Since its SO hard to lookup how much vocabulary lingodeer includes :c )

Nukemarine’s LLJ memrise decks (which I’m considering going through again but ToT agh flashcardssssss.... they sure do work though agh)

http://www.chinese-grammar.com/beginner/ - this is the site I read a chinese grammar guide on at like Month 3. I am rereading it now maybe it will help me remember wtf grammar explicitly is. ToT (A tip, read Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced sections). Last time I visited the site you just clicked a section, then saw each fully explained grammar point and clicked ‘next’ it was nice. Now its laid out a little less ideal for me, but its still got all the same nice info! (Also honestly if you are a beginner I really DO like this grammar guide... it introduces basic info first, gradually gets more complex, and i could follow its logic knowing like 200 hanzi and 100 words ToT. its very easy to understand even if it takes a while to apply that info).

im probably gonna read hanshe more today. i’m at the point where either i know enough vocab, or the writers style has just ‘clicked’ idk. but now i just am not getting bogged down by unknown words and am just. speeding through enjoying the plot. Also rip me this novel has 155 chapters and im only on chapter 30.

watching japanese lets plays is really fun! i feel like im 3 years old cause i just see nouns i can learn pretty easy in context cause i know the game well, and hear some vaguely familiar verbs, but its fun! also it helps i know kingdom hearts 2 like by heart so. a lot of it makes me instantly cheerful and nostalgic. roxas’s voice is so cute in the japanese version.

oh i almost forgot: I found a book recently for chinese that for it’s like 10 page grammar guide summary at the beginning ALONE i think is more than worth the 4 dollars it costs to get. It has a ton of compound words and its a reference book in mandarin and cantonese (it has pronunciation for both, all characters are in traditional). I got it initally because it as a bunch of compound words and I’d like to get better at knowing a lot of common ones. But the intro to the book has a page explaining sentence structures in chinese, then examples. Its so straightforward and to the point. I love it. The book is “Understanding Chinese: A Guide to the Usage of Chinese Characters” by Rita Mei-Wah Choy. (There is also a companion book for individual hanzi, which is nice but this book specifically I’m finding more useful).

what i really like about Listening-Reading method, and reading, as study activities: no matter how I do them it is only improvement. I have a tendency to ‘redo’ material i don’t feel i fully mastered, or refuse to move on. So when i have duolingo, flashcards (sometimes i can move on if i ignore reviews/make myself do new stuff), books, grammar guides, self guided classes - i have a tendency to redo the material. over and over. and not progress and challenge myself. whereas with reading - every time i look up a word its useful because its new or something i clearly Need to review (not something i’ve actually learned and can move past reviewing). so whether i reread material or read new stuff, as long as i run into things i find somewhat challenging (feel the desire to word look up), i know i am running into new material i can learn. Same with listening-reading method: whether i finish a book or just skip to random books, any new chapter i do will give me new words to learn/remember (until i’ve reached a point of perfect listening comprehension which is a WAYS away). There’s no way for me to mess it up. I can give up a book im bored with, i don’t have to stick to one resource to the end.

someone tell me why professionally made chinese audio books almost NEVER line up to the chapters???? whyyyyy ;-;

Even More Notes lol:

So I read so much in Pleco, which auto pronounces, I have COMPLETELY forgot. 得地 - for these two, when they’re attached after a description like 淡淡慢慢高兴 etc, when are they pronounced di versus de???? i’m pretty sure 得 is pronounced de when its an adjective like ‘-ly’. but for 地, i don’t remember if when part of a describer if its pronounced di or de????

#rant #march progress #march #everyone using ore in kh2 is hilarious a lil to me tho #u are all bishies u are all tiny kids WHy u acting so tough lol

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armyhome · 4 years

Text

Make it Right | Kim Seokjin| Eng

⇢ pairing: Seokjin x Reader.

⇢ genre: Cute, sad, funny, healing.

⇢ word count: 5.5K

⇢ warnings: Maybe this will make you dream with eyes open.

⇢ Portuguese version: Make it Right (PT-BR)

When (We met for the first time)

I remember very well how it was the first time we met, I mean when I met him. Grandpa put a bowl of Jjajjangmyun in front of me, the smell was amazing, he smiled at me, we had decided to do a gastronomic backpack in Asia two years ago, to celebrate my high school graduation and we finally started it, last week in Yokohama Japan. Now we were in Seoul, Korea, then we would go to Taipei, Taiwan.

-I want you to learn to identify nuances, even with strong flavored foods! Ready Sol? - He raises the chopsticks and I raise mine - Lets Go!

The thickness and texture of the noodles in Asia was different, probably because of how it was prepared, did the black bean paste have a bittersweet flavor? Perhaps because of the mixed red meat, I had never eaten a bean that was sweet ... My analysis is interrupted by a boy drawing on my face.

He was not drawing literally on my face, but on the mirrored glass in front of me, he was accompanied by two more friends in the prank, he drew a rose, like that of Beauty and the Beast. We could be the inverted version of the fairy tale, because that boy was so beautiful that even if I were even remotely beautiful.... He stops drawing and looks at his work of art. At that moment it seemed that he could see through the mirror and could see my eyes staring with a piece of macaroni out of the mouth with bean paste in her corner, my heart giving a jolt and choking.

Grandpa gives me a glass of water I try, drink it but the cough stops me, the man who took care of the cashier gets up because of the noise I was making and ends up seeing the boys, I finally manage to drink a big sip of water, ceasing my near death, when I look at the street again, only the rose was the owner screamed in front of the restaurants did not understand things, Grandpa gives slaps.

- Eat slowly, Sol! You look like me when I met your grandmother ...- He ends up laughing, my cheeks are burning as if there is fire running under her skin, the idea of falling in love at first sight was ridiculous , I had just been enchanted by the boy's beauty.

- Have you always been so romantic , Grandpa? - He nods smiling - Wow, Grandma is a lucky woman! - I say and eat again.

-Who knows that boy can't be lucky too? - He wasn't going to give up, he needed to distract him with something that really changed his focus.

-Grandpa... this pasta is really different, texture, taste .... How to do it?

-Then during the preparation of the dough ...

When (We know each other)

Ten years later

I walked into Enrico's restaurant, he really had found a nice spot in New York to open it. The rent for that penthouse two blocks from Times Square should be at least a left kidney!

The location was beautiful, one part was open and there was AN ARTIFICIAL LAKE! Who had Enrico killed to achieve this ? Metri asks to guide me to where he was, I just nod, I can't remember how to speak english, that place was a palace , where he had learned so much about oriental interior design?

As soon as he sees me, Enrico gets up from the table and walks up to me with open arms smiling, I hurry up the steps and the hug, which I miss my friend.

-Who did you kill to have this here? - I whisper to him.

-As I am not a murderer, I ended up giving the blow to the chest - He points to the boy at the table, he looked like an MMA fighter because of his big and strong body, but his face was kind as a child's when he sees me smiles and his eyes become a fine line, he beckons us - Come on, you need to meet Jaemin and his friends! They are famous, can you believe? I doubt you know who they are, after all you live locked up in restaurant kitchens around the world and writing on that blog.

-You mean, that blog that can destroy your restaurant's reputation with just a few words? Didn't even debut and already wants to close the doors Erinco Vigolini? - He looks at me with wide eyes.

-Who taught you to be a snake like that? - I pointed to him who puts his hand on his chest, pretending indignation and then smiles - Okay, that may be a little true!

Their table was in an open area , it was summer in NY and there was little wind, at most it had a brief breeze, they were all talking, but when Jaemin got up to greet me, everyone turned to do the same.

My eyes must be broken, I can't believe it, it's not possible, a decade later, I'm facing that boy, now a man, in front of me the difference is that now he can see me. His hair was pink, it matched the delicate features of his face, he smiled kindly at me, I sat facing him, if my heart beat a little faster I would die.

-Enrico talked a lot about you Sol - Jaemin begins - He told me that you are a very important gastronomic critic in the culinary world and that is why he became your friend in college, for you to give high marks to our restaurant! - Enrico gives a playful slap on the shoulder - She knows it's a joke love!

-Enrico knows how fair I am in all my criticisms , regardless of my personal connection with the person and that my criticisms have no intention of hurting or belittling the owner, but that he self-evaluates and makes improvements that he may not have noticed because he is so immersed in the project, I usually send a summary of the criticism first to the owner then put it in full on the site ...

-See Jaemin, I'm a friend of an angel! - They cross their arms and Jaemin lays his head on Enrico's.

-I think we will be a little excluded from the conversation now - Comments one of the boys in Korean.

-Sorry - We asked Jaemin and I at the same time, they looked at me in amazement.

-Since when do you know Korean? - Asks Enrico.

-I learned during high school, I was hoping to meet someone but, I didn't know if he would know English, so I decided to learn her native language to make sure we could talk! - Enrico claps enthusiastically.

-I don't believe that Sol Macedo's heart of ice ever had anyone inside! - I roll my eyes and take a glass, Jaemin pours me some wine.

-Enrico told me that everyone here is famous, what do you do?

I believe that in this world there were no people more excited about what they did and more kind, they performed one by one, including Seokjin, so they told me about their songs and performance with such education and happiness, Enrico made sure to score all the records of the seven boys in front of me but, the simplicity that emanated from them made it difficult for me to assimilate them into popstars, I can't stop looking at him every thirty seconds, breathe Sol, now he is a superstar, your life runs in ways very different.

-Is that you? How is the life of a critic ? - He, Seokjin, asks.

- Hum, sometimes it is difficult to choose the right words, to not deeply offend someone and also, some people are not willing and know themselves and do not take what I have to say seriously, prefer to blame the fail on business on me them have not worked or grown but, food is not just about something that was written on my website, not everyone reads, in fact only those who know the branch are aware of my website and some passionate, but with so much fast food, people no longer cares about food made by real people... But I have my personal rewards, like now, I'm in a beautiful restaurant, eating the best of Korean cuisine, with the biggest boyband today ...

-It's GROUP, not boyband! - Corrects Enrico.

-The biggest male group of Korean pop music - I correct myself being extremely emphatic in every word, making everyone at the table laugh, I tie my hair in a ponytail, when I raise my arms and the sleeve goes up revealing my tattoo , which was not small , why did I make that rose covering half of my forearm?

-Does it mean something? - Seokjin asks with a raised eyebrow, is it not possible that he remembered it?

-Hyung looks like those drawings you did everywhere! - Affirms Namjoon, thanks man, thank you for sinking me into shit for good! -Seriously, he drew this all over Seoul!

-Oh, what a coincidence, it was there that I got the idea of this tattoo, ten years ago my grandfather and I did a gastronomic backpack, I saw a rose like this drawn in the restaurant we went to! - I speak quickly as if I were narrating a football match, and have a glass of wine at once.

-Come on, kids, it's time for Kina Grannis to perform in there, everyone already eaten right? - Enrico called.

He takes us to the opposite side to where we were , we were at the far end of the people who were dining there downstairs, did I say that this place was incredible ? Enrico should be charging a fortune for each dish! Kina was a special attraction, she was elegant as the whole environment but she was, only she and her guitar which brought a touch of simplicity, when she started singing Can't Help Falling In Love, everyone in the room made "own" together .

Jaemin and Enrico danced together, would that ever be? For so long I waited for when I graduated, to have a good job, a boy who drew a rose for me ten years ago who has now become a completely untouchable person ...

-I remember you - Whispered in my ear, he puts both hands in the pockets of the beige blazer he wore, leans over and repeats - I remember you Sol! That day, I saw you and your grandfather, taking a picture in front of the restaurant! Did you see me drawing on the mirrored glass?

I can't feel my legs... help.

When (We fall in love)

Five months later

I go into the kitchen and find Seokjin without a shirt, yes, cooked, imagine if a drop of the hot oil in which he was sautéing the rice falls on that smooth, smooth skin of him, he turns in my direction, I jump to him, I am very in love on that man. He uses his left arm to wrap my waist on tiptoe and he bends me over to give me a peck.

-Don't burn the garlic - I comment, he grimaces and goes back to cooking, I hug him and support my head and his back - How long until the comeback?

-Love, I don't want to think about it, it's only been two days since I arrived, to think that in two weeks I'll be back to train and I won't see you for how long it hurts me - I hear him fill the pot with water and put the lid on, he then turns to me - I deeply love the army, my work and you! It hurts not to be able to reconcile the three!

He holds my face in his hands and kisses my forehead, then rests his face on my shoulder, I kiss him on the cheek and he sighs.

-What movie are we going to watch today? - Change the subject, I didn't want to make him sad.

-Can we just be together today? - He says in the morning , a smile grinning.

-Nothing against, who insists on protecting false virtues here is you! - He looks at me angrily - The speaker is not here anymore!

He started the timer and we lay on the double bed, our 3X4 loft as I called it, because everything was in the same room, it was in Nagoya in Japan, Seokjin wanted to buy an apartment but, I had spent all my savings to open my restaurant, contrary to what many people may think, a food critic doesn’t earn much, we don’t die of hunger because we need to eat to write and usually the owner of the establishment invites us. It wouldn't be worth it either, our stuff was in Korea, we 'd only have three weeks.

-What was the first thing you thought of when you first saw me Sol? - Man, it was difficult to create a line of reasoning with him speaking against my neck.

-Hum, "if my heart beats faster I might die" - He laughs, universe you are proof that I am trying not to attack this man - And you, what did you think when you first saw me?

- "How can I tell her that we are getting married without scaring her?" - I give a slap on his arm, washed-out liar, he laughs - I am completely in love with you and that time had something in you, I can not explain without being corny, I just wanted to be able to stay there with you, looking at you! I think it was our destiny if we ended up going back to each other! - He grabs my arm and puts his thumb on my tattoo - As soon as I leave the obligatory service I'm gonna do my!

-Will make the whole army infarct! You don't have to, this is my thing! I know how to handle bad one in Korea if you do this, it was hard to sell me the location of the restaurant! - I take her hand and give her a kiss.

-We can make a red line on the little finger, I can use a ring or makeup to cover ...

-You have to promise me Seokjin, it will continue to be so romantic even after we get married, I don't want to know if three hundred years have passed and our souls can't stand sharing the tomb anymore ! Kim Seokjin will always say things like that to Sol!

-Only if you promise to look at me like that forever - He holds my earlobe between his thumb and forefinger.

-I never learned to look at you any other way!

He brings his face close to mine, I can feel his breath against my face, how is it possible to be so desperately in love with a person, before we could kiss the alarm warning that the rice had cooked rings. UNIVERSE STOP MAKE FUN OF ME!

When (We brake)

A year and a half later

I think if it had been gradually I would not be suffering so much, I know he is busy, the person busiest in the world, but it just stopped responding messages, said nothing on the day the restaurant opened, I sent a lot of messages of support when you had the comeback but, nothing, no emoji! I watched each video, looked at each photo, bought the album, cried over it, how could he lie using such sincerity? Would it be better to go home?

No, never! I will not give up on my dream, just because of a broken heart, nobody dies of it! Whoever doesn't want me, doesn't deserve me! Focus now in a little while, I'm going to do the first television broadcast about cooking and restaurants in my life. I must be brooding over this subject, because I wanted him to be here and tell me he was rooting for me, but that's not it, period .

I look at my reflection in the mirror, nothing can break you to the point where you stop working! You are a chef, now awarded, with a renowned restaurant in Seoul, you lead projects that propose to bring quality food to all corners of the world, especially those that have no access at all. You are a good person and you have done nothing wrong.

-Miss Sol? We are ready to start you! - I smile and follow the boy.

The interview went very well, the reporter makes me feel comfortable to speak, let's go from my training, my blog, the construction of my restaurant in Seoul, my projects with NGO's and if I want to marry an Korean guy it was very fun, almost like talking to one of my friends, I don’t even notice the time of the interview passing, when I find myself finished.

I leave the studio, enter the parking lot and when I'm almost there in the car, Jungkook appears in front of me all frisky and smiling at me offering a cup of coffee, it was freezing outside so I open the car door, to enter and call the heater.

-I missed you, Sol noona! - I smile, he was very cute.

-I also missed you kookie, how are you?

-I'm fine, we're going to the United States to receive an award, can you believe? - I nod, they had already won before, but now it was a prize given by an academy.

-I am very proud and cheering for you all! - He pats himself on the head as if he was amazed at the memory of something.

-I'll be quick, because if not soon the FBI will be looking for me - Not being dramatic at all - Hyung saw that day that the NGO's director declared to you! And in his mind, that was the best thing for you, how can he decide that on his own, I don't know? He said something about never being able to stay around for a long time, you need someone better, all this litany that I don't fall for, if it were true you wouldn't send messages to him, me and the other boys, cheering, saying that you are proud and talking who misses him for him, even after a year! He's being stupid but, it's because he loves you so much! He wants to see you one hundred percent happy! He thinks that a present boyfriend would do that .... Well let's spend two and a half weeks in the USA, it's not fair that I ask you to forgive him after he just disappears but, you two are suffering! Think about it noona, we were watching your interview hidden, you were beautiful - He gives me a kiss on the cheek - Don't tell hyung!

-Lend me your Jungkook cell phone - He hands it to me without thinking too much, I type the number of Seokjin I know by heart, one ring, two ...

-Junkookie where are you? The broadcast starts in twenty minutes! - I hold my heart when I hear his voice.

-Who gave you the right to decide for me? - My voice comes out tearful, I get angry, I feel weak, no one answers on the other end of the line - Kim Seokjin answers me, I've spent more than a year dealing with your silence, not knowing what I did wrong ....

-You did nothing wrong my love ....

-Don't call me love, you put me in a hell Seokjin, I was banging my head against the wall wondering what had happened! Watching your videos, watching you get thinner and thinner, are you eating by any chance? Are your back hurting from training? Did you have ginger tea when you had a sore throat? You can see all of these messages on your phone later! I am so hurt, all our promises, all our confessions, on hold, because you thought you could decide what is best for me! Well here is your answer Seokjin, me in pain, heartbroken! But, even if I miss you, I won't take a step towards you! Is it your duty to clean up this mess you cause yourself do you understand?

-Yes ... I miss you too Sol! - Your voice is choked.

-So do something about it, but do it fast! I'm going on a mission to Myanmar in a week, I'm going to spend four months there, that's more than enough time for you to decide what you want out of your life, but I can't guarantee that I'll be here for you when I get back too! It is your responsibility now to save this relationship or let it die for good ...

-I see, I can't love anyone but you ...

-You'll have to prove it to me now! Since you made a point of complicating what was already difficult !

-I promise, I will!

When (We Grow)

Two months later

It is one thing to see photos, videos over the internet, it is quite another to see an undernourished child feeling that a human being can break with his touch is tormenting, the civil war in that country had wiped out all drinking water resources and food, all that arrived was fifty percent confiscated by the army to keep soldiers and the other half was not enough for all civilians.

-The supplies will run out in two days if we do nothing Sol - Sandy comments while analyzing his table, massaging his temples .

-I can't find a solution, even if we buy food, the army will take half, we don't have enough budget to buy so much, doctors are also running out of resources ... How far has humanity come! - I throw myself in bed, besides, why is this place so hot? It's only been five seconds since I showered and I want another one.

I open my cell phone, go on twitter, look at pictures of Seokjin and the boys, of course, I needed to distract myself a little from all that unfortunate situation , every step I took made me feel guilty for living so well and healthy , like the people who finance this war they sleep, how the lords of arms managed to kiss their wives and children at the end of the day knowing that they were supporting the death of so many people? Seokjin's name flashes on the screen as if he heard my thoughts from the United States.

-Hiii- I force an animated voice.

-What is happening? Are you alright? I saw in the newspaper that there was a terrorist attack today in a mosque, Sol tells me that you are fine! How long until you get out of there? You've helped enough! - He doesn't even stop to breathe .

-I don't know if I can get out of here, it's two months before the end of the voluntary project but - I take a deep breath, I had already thought about it a few times but thinking is one thing, verbalizing, another completely different - Everything these children need to go through is so unfair, hunger, abuse, mourning after mourning, I don't know if I will be able to return to Korea in two months ... Except that I also don't know if I will be able to stay, our supplies are running out, we have no idea how to change this situation, the army takes half of everything, it's revolting! - I let some tears escape - How can I live well after knowing all this?

-'You have no blame for the misery of these people Sol ... But I understand how you feel, at times received letters from armys or tweets of them, venting things horrible for which they have gone through or are going through, the sense of responsibility overwhelms me, I imagine that watching people go through this must be even worse, but always keep in mind Sol, it’s not your fault! - I take a deep breath, I need to absorb the information, those words are all I have.

-How's the tour going? And the preparation for the comeback?

We talked for so long that I end up sleeping in the middle of the conversation, my body was so tired his voice was undoing every knot inside my head that kept me awake, his physical presence or not, excited me, made me feel good things, like light from a lighthouse in the middle of the rough sea.

-Sol, I would like to say that no matter how hard you hug this pillow, it will not become the Seokjin - Sandy comments sitting on the end of my bed - Wake up sleeping beauty, the charming prince sent you a gift , in record time! Is he a real prince ? Why in less than twelve hours!

-What's going on Sandy? - I sit on the bed still dizzy from waking up.

-Seokjin sent the supplies we were in urgent need, in addition to making the situation publicized by the mainstream media, food arrives from all over the world! - She puts her hand in her pocket and pulls out an envelope - This is just for you!

-Thank you - I take the envelope, inside it has a polaroid photo of us, in our 3X4 apartment, wearing matching gray sweatshirts, my heart loses time, as always when I see it, on the back of the photo it is written:

"Maybe you love me, but I sure love you, I can make it work!"

When (We love each other)

Two months later I did not return to Korea .... It had been a year since that and three months since Seokjin was summoned by the Korean army, which greatly reduced our calls and messages.

I was unable to return to Seoul, the feeling of unfinished work dominated me every time I thought about it, little by little even in the midst of the declared civil war, I was able to maintain a supply of good food. We eradicated the miserable line between children, with the help of doctors and volunteer teachers even in difficult times and having to teach children how to act when there was a shooting in the middle of the class, we had evolved a lot since we arrived.

Today the Korean, American and Brazilian peacekeeping fleets arrived with drinking water, food, books, notebooks and medical tools, the volunteer leaders including me went to pick them up at the helipad, the sun was so strong that we could n't even see the helicopter, but the noise announced their arrival, three of them, giants landed, when the soldiers went down we helped to get things out of there.

I took the first box of rice, analyzed its condition, the expiration dates, everything was correct, secure in the side handles and pulled it towards me.

-You can carry this alone? - Ask the Korean soldier behind me, for the kindness in his voice, I know that he does not intend to be sexist, he only really cares, after all, there were about twenty kilos of rice in that box, I lift it some more to show that I am fine with that weight.

-No need to worry, I'm used to it! - I say turning to show him, the box slips out of my hand as soon as I put my eyes on it.

Seokjin smiles at me and my heart falls apart, he laughs at my expression, some tears were streaming down my cheeks, he was there, he had walked up to me, flown to be more specific , whatever, he was there! He walks over to me and hugs me.

-I love you, are you listening? Only you, close your eyes, even if everything changes, it won't change! You are my love and I am your love - Humming in my ear, reference to Descendants of the Sun, one of my favorite dramas of all life, I try to keep control and not grab that man right there - Come on we need to keep doing our work but, what do you think of a date tonight?

-Sure! - I answer more excitedly than I should, which makes him laugh again, I don't care, he was there, laughing for me that was all my brain can assimilate.

I spent the whole day between doing chores and checking for Seokjin's presence, I spent more time at the army camp that day than in those almost two years of volunteering. Nothing in this world can compare to Seokjin's beauty now, nothing in the universe can compare to Seokjin in uniform! And that red cap on his head, it's so hard not to look at him! I hope he has taken so many photos, I want them all!

At the end of the day he stops by to pick me up at the dorm, he was beautiful in jeans and a social T-shirt, smelling like only he can be, I can't even blink, it seems he can disappear at any moment, he praised my baby blue dress says that it matches his shirt, I almost reply that his mouth also matches mine, but I restrained myself to a simple thank you.

-You know that blinking is healthy, right, Sol? - Says sitting in front of me at the restaurant table, I nod and keep looking, he picks up the menu - I will not disappear, love, you can rest assured, I will finally be able to stay by your side!

-I don't want it to be a dream, if I blink, you can disappear, then I will realize that I'm crazy talking to myself in a beautiful restaurant! - I whisper to him, Seokjin holds my hand, the heat was real, he kisses her back, he was real.

-I'm not going anywhere! Unless you decide that you don't want me anymore, that you don't want me a bit if you do, then I'll leave you alone! Those years were with an eternal night with no light, seeing you inside that helicopter was like watching the dawn, Sol - He intertwined our fingers - Can I hold this hand forever? I can do it right this time! All the roads in my life end in you Sol!

I get up and walk over to the chair beside him, sit down and hug him to the side, he puts his arm around my shoulders and holds me against him, like he was warm, smelling, soft, what the hell are we doing in a restaurant anyway? I scoop my hand up to cover my mouth and approach him, who tilts his head.

-I love you Kim Seokjin, let's do it right this time! - He smiles and kisses my forehead.

Yes it would work that time.

When (We make it right)

Fifteen years later

"Kim Taeri, don't forget to take a snack to eat on the way to school! Every day, you will sleep late and miss school time, I'll take that phone off you, young lady!" - Scream from the kitchen, Yeojun laughs at the table finishing his coffee - You too, good guy, if I see another warning on my cell phone about bad behavior at school, I will sell your video game!

-Omma! - I zip over my mouth, indicating that I don't want to hear anything else, he snorts and leaves the table to put his sneakers on.

-I'll see you two later, straight home, no cheating on Secretary Han okay? - They do so even sulk with the scolding that I was given, I open my arms to a collective hug them, Seokjin appears and embraces the three together making us laugh - Have a good day my loves!

They leave and my husband hugged me by the shoulders, I rest my head on his chest, enjoy those seconds before squeezing me into the restaurant kitchen until late at night, my performance was not so agile and I was not so physically fit, but I prefer to die to stop doing what I love, same thing with Seokjin, he still made films, soap operas met the boys to sing.

-You do not 're being too hard on the twins? - One thing that you need to know in a relationship, to make it work is really literal, both sides need to strive to keep it working, if it would not collapse, like a sand castle, when the twins were born it was the most difficult time that we had, Seokjin and I had been created in very different ways and that generated a lot of conflicts, nobody warns about it.

-If I am not, who will be Seokjin? You? - He hugs me tighter and kisses my shoulder, that was a dirty game - I would appreciate it if do the bad guy once, you know? I always have to be the villain of the story!

-I was born to be a love prince, my face doesn't match that of a villain, no matter how much I've already played some! Beautiful by the way! - I turn to face him and slap his arm - Oh it's a joke, you look like a princess too! My princess! - I still give slaps but without putting force, then he holds me in a hug and kisses me for a long time, then I can only miss work today? Of course you can, you are your own boss, have you forgotten?

I wrap my arms around the shoulders of Seokjin who picks me up, I wrap my legs around him, will we ever be like this one day? Probably, one day our bodies will not have the same disposition or beauty so only the essentials will remain, our love!

THE END

#seokjin x reader #seokjin fanfic #seokjin fic #kim seokjin #SEOKJIN DAY #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts seokjin #jin fanfic #jin fic #jin bts

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polyglotpower · 5 years

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Current Activities Page

Language activities and thoughts as of April 30th, 2019: (** = main study focus)

German (upkeep)

Spanish** (the move from intermediate to advanced)

Once Spanish is advanced: Italian or Portuguese?

More details below....

Deutsch:

Ich benutze jeden Tag Deutsch, weil ich in Deutschland wohne. Das heißt, dass ich nicht wirklich etwas aktives für Deutsch mache, da es schon in meinem Leben ist. Ich studiere z.B an einer deutschen Universität, und dafür muss ich viel Stoff lernen; ich lese auf Deutsch, schreibe Antworten zu den Orientierungsfragen auf Deutsch, etc. Es ist aber immer noch manchmal scheiß schwer, auf Deutsch zu schreiben. Manchmal ist es auch schwer, alles in der Vorlesung zu verstehen. Ich habe bemerkt, dass es schwer ist, die Professorin gleichzeitig zuzuhören während ich Notizen schreibe. Deswegen muss ich viel zu Hause lernen und Material wiederholen. Ich spreche auch ziemlich gut, aber ganz ehrlich, den Druck, fast perfekt auf Deutsch zu sein, weil ich sehr gute Grammatik usw für die Uni brauche, hat den Spaß und auch die Liebe für die Deutsche Sprache weggenommen. Und wie alle schon vll wissen, ist die deutsche Grammatik ziemlich schwer.

Deswegen, probiere ich mehr deutsche Podcasts in meiner Freizeit zu hören statt die auf English, die ich gerne zuhöre. Mein Lieblingspodcast auf Deutsch zurzeit ist “Eine Stunde History”, (auf Spotify) weil ich Geschichte mag und weil ich finde, dass den sehr gut produziert ist. Ich gucke auch alles auf Youtube, dass coldmirror macht, weil ich ihre Humor ganz toll finde :D

Eng. translation: I use German every day because I live in Germany. This means that I don’t usually do anything actively for German because it is already in my everyday life. For example, I study at a German university and I have to learn a lot of material for it; I read in German, write answers to review questions in German, etc. But its sometimes still difficult to write in German. Sometimes its also difficult to understand everything in the lecture. I’ve noticed that its difficult to listen to the professor at the same time that I’m writing notes. Therefore, I have to study a lot at home and repeat a lot of material. I speak pretty well, but honestly, the pressure to be almost perfect in German and have excellent grammar because I need it for university has kind of taken the fun and my love away for the German language. And, as everyone maybe already knows (Germans as well as learners), German grammar is pretty tough.

That’s why I’m trying to listen to more German podcasts in my free time rather than the ones in English that I usually listen to. My favorite podcast in German right now is “Eine Stunde History” (on Spotify), because I like history and because I think it is very well produced. I also watch everything on Youtube that coldmirror comes out with, because I think her humor is so awesome :D

Spanish*:

This is my main language and I love love LOVE Spanish. I read, listen, and watch multiple things every single day in Spanish. I’m at the typical intermediate plateau where I understand and can read so much, but I still struggle to communicate eloquently and use the grammar well. Right now I’m reviewing the past tenses (passively, alongside texts - I never do grammar exercises, I think it’s much more important to learn grammar in context) and beginning to notice the subjunctive in the things I read/listen to/watch. I’d say I’m about a B1, though with listening and reading skills probably almost B2, which I think is normal.

Things I’m reading: I do readings every day on the website LingQ - I follow transcripts of podcasts, read short stories, etc. I find nonfiction to be easier in a foreign language, so that’s usually what I do on LingQ. For fiction off LingQ, right now I’m reading HP and the Philosopher’s Stone because the HP books are perfect for a first fiction series (at least for me). I know them by heart and they progressively get harder and more complex.

Things I’m watching/listening to: Listening: On LingQ I’m listening to several podcasts. Off LingQ (usually in tram, or while cooking or cleaning) I listen to Coffee Break Spanish. I’ve done the available episodes in season 5 and am coming back to season 4 (I skipped it before), and now I’m about 7 or 8 episodes into season 4. Watching: the TV series Casa de las Flores! Oh my gosh I just finished season 1 and can’t wait for 2. I watch it in Spanish w/ Spanish subtitles. It’s definitely my guilty pleasure, just like the series The Gran Hotel, which I started after Casa de las Flores. I also am slowly making my way through a Youtube animated series called “Cartel de Los Burritos” about a kid that delivers burritos and gets roped into working for the local drug lord. It’s hilarious. There’s lots of slang and subtitles are unreliable (sometimes only in English, or sometimes none at all or for only half an episode), but still so great.

Vocabulary: I review vocab within LingQ as well as on Memrise daily. Mostly I concentrate on the the input I’m getting, because the more I see the word in context, the better it will cement it in my brain.

Grammar: As I said, I don’t do traditional grammar exercises in grammar books really. I don’t believe in the traditional school system way of drilling abstract grammar even though students usually have a complete deficit in exposure to the language, so I review grammar as it comes up in my content and by necessity. I find that learning lots of content also helps you get to the point of speaking automatically and not constantly doing grammar in your head quicker - because when you hear enough, read enough, and speak enough, eventually things just start “sounding” or “feeling” right or wrong when they come out of your mouth.

Let me give an example of how I do grammar, because I do believe it is important to know it and learn it, etc. Yesterday I had a speaking session in Spanish with my tutor on italki, and I noticed that (besides the normal intermediate struggle to express yourself the way you’d like and forgetting words that I KNOW THAT I KNOW - that can’t just be me, right?) my past tenses are still quite weak, as is my ability to decide between ser and estar (even worse when I have to deal with BOTH, like the difference between estaba, era, fue). So, after my session yesterday I took out the grammar book I use to look up the rules as I need them (Große Spanische Grammatik from Huebner) and wrote out a few basic notes again, with just the verb endings & important irregulars. Also, I jotted down some keywords (really! not much, only the bare minimum) to jog my memory about each one, something to have beside me and look over whenever I come across a past tense verb and I’m doing focused reading (unfocused reading, in contrast, is when I just read to have fun and relax, like before bed when I’m reading my Harry Potter book). When I do this I try to use keywords that showcase what makes the tenses distinctive and different from each other. Then, I read various texts in my textbook (I use Gente Hoy 2), underlining each past tense word. I read the text a few times, making sure I understand all the content, then I begin to focus on each individual past tense verb that I underlined. I try and analyze why that particular one was used in that situation and not another. In that way, I’m still doing input-based learning and getting the context, but still while I pay particular attention to certain grammar points I know I need to work on.

Writing: I’m planning on incorporating a writing element that helps me work both on the vocabulary I learned as well as the grammar I’m noticing that week/two weeks/whatever frame of time. Right now I haven’t started it yet, but so far I try to write a diary entry every day in a little notebook in Spanish.

#languages #language learning #study #langblr #german #spanish #deutsch #castellano #espanol #language #Current Activities Page

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eduardolimpsych101-blog · 6 years

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The Jump is Beautiful

Peace has its ways to demand attention.

According to the calendar, it has been half a year. 7 months next week to be exact. To be honest, I stopped counting at 4. It doesn't feel necessary anymore. Gone are the days where I tell myself "I can't believe it. It still doesn't feel real" and need a constant reminder that time has passed and will not go back. Now are the days where they feel the most real and where time not passing fast enough becomes my worst reminder.

My close friend committed suicide last May. And I knew it.

The night before May 15 was weird. You could call it a premonition or somewhat paranoia but I felt something was wrong. I couldn't pinpoint right away what I was feeling but my chest felt heavy and tears fell for no reason. I was scared, remembering now how I felt that evening. I had an instinct of asking one person how they were feeling. I gave words of encouragement. I admitted to them that I felt something was wrong and just wanted to make sure they were fine. Guess what? Wrong friend. Or I guess just not the right one at that moment.

My close friend committed suicide last May. And now we're lost.

I was in school cramming a group paper for a major when our barkada chat popped up. Our friend that was his course mate was the one who messaged. I started to feel my heart getting heavy. The feeling I had last night came back and my worst fears came true when he finally told us the news. I was in disbelief. We called each other up and ask who was free so we could just be together. I asked my group mates if I could just help tomorrow then left to meet with friends. It was the worst reunion ever.

What followed was a series of sleepless nights and endless bouts of crying throughout the week of his wake. Every part of his death was a reminder of the last time I missed a death. It was even in the same place. And every part of me was blaming myself again like last time. If I reached out more, maybe just maybe Peace wouldn't have to.

The third day of his wake where I finally stopped crying excessively, I went back to our chat box and found a conversation of ours on how we were struggling to find time to meet up as a barkada. He wasn't complaining though he even said a hello across the hallway was enough. I was lucky because he had a Stat subject last year so I got to see him for like 5 minutes every other day. We would chat for a bit about anything even if we both had classes. The friendship was always that simple to him. He just love simply being together, doing nothing particularly exciting. And now that's what all we want also: to be together.

“Most of the time sapat na yun sa akin e.”

This was the second time I knew something was wrong but still chose not to do anything. This was the second time I chose not to hold on. But this will be the last time that I didn't start doing something.

My close friend committed suicide last May. And it will not be in vain.

What we can do

My friend did not tell us at any point his diagnosis. The one time he told us anything about his mental health was when we had a reunion because one of us in the barkada was going to do a semester abroad in Japan. He opened up about going to a therapist and working on his issues with himself. He told us that he has this thing that when he is happy, he thinks that it won't last so he just sabotages it himself so at least he knows when the happiness will end. He opened up about having times where he feels depressed or feels pressured about his academics. Even during that lunch, he said he can only stay until 1 since he had to go back to school to study. This was the time I should have done more like ask how he was everyday or send words of encouragement every now and then.

In 2017, WHO released statistics on mental health citing suicide associated with depression as the second leading cause of death among people ages 15-29. DOH also presents that the suicide rate for men and women for every 100,000 people is 2.5 and 1.7 respectively. This has become such a problem that in DOH's 2017 budget plan, 100 million was allotted for mental health drugs and 1 billion for mental health facilities. But the government can only do so much. The stigma around mental health problems as just excuses or only weaknesses of the person prevents people from seeking out help even if it is available. We must start by first educating ourselves with what depression and disorders in the same category in order to begin the process of eliminating the stigma on mental health.

Saundra Ciccarelli (2017) explains Major Depressive Disorder as "when a deeply depressed mood comes on fairly suddenly and either seems to be too severe for the circumstances or exists without any external cause for sadness". It some sense it is not logical. It is not something you can eliminate in their sight so they can feel better. Neither is it something you can reason them out of.

According to Ciccarelli causes of depression may be:

1. Repressed anger towards authority figures

2. Learned helplessness (tendency to stop trying after past failures)

3. Self-defeating thoughts

4. Variation in neurotransmitter systems

With the first reason, consultations with family guidance counselors may be done or just having a more open conversation as a family can help. For the second and third reason, extra caution in the words we use must be made. Every mistake they make, they will amplify and intensify guilty feelings. It is important to not only think about what we say but also how we say it. I implore you to read more upon this so you can understand what a person having depression or depressive moods is going through. Asides from what is mentioned, it is important we are also aware of the free facilities and services near our places that can accommodate new clients.

Me taking Psych 101 and writing this blog post is just step number 1. He has changed my life and many others'.

Farewell

To Edel,How weird is it that the only time I talk to you at length is for a subject. Last time it was for Eng 10 case study, now for Psych 101. I guess you understand me anyway.

You were the first person not to question my insecurities when making friends with what I called "popu" kids. You just kept on trying and eventually you broke down the wall I put up. You are one of my best friends and I'm sorry I never told you that. You were always there to help everyone in our group even if that meant you driving out of the way just to go to us. I remember you fetching me one time at my house so I wouldn't be hassled with transportation to your despedida. I remember you baking cookies for a girl that eventually gave it away (tough man but hey at least you learned how to bake haha). I remember you taking on 3+ roles for your section's school play. I remember you. In all ways you never looked at yourself. You are the kindest, most generous, and loving person.

But you weren't without your flaws.

You had your own wall, one where I only noticed far too late in our friendship. It wasn't like you weren't open about your emotions just not specific ones. I just wished I caught onto it so I could've convinced you that you were a far greater person that what you think. If I saw every doubt when it came to your decisions, I would've told you that I was proud no matter what choice. If I saw every hesitation when you wanted to speak, I would've made you feel comfortable until you were ready to tell us.

But really, would I have? Because it is because of you that right now I am not afraid to ask people how they are doing. I don't care if I come off as FC. It is because of you that I talk about my feelings to my friends and to God. It is because of you that I learned to love my friends explicitly. I just wished that "because of you" wasn't in exchange for you.

I miss you. I miss you everyday. We miss you everyday. And right now are days are still pretty heavy but they will get better because you gave us a reason to be better for each other and for you. Thank you for everything. I'll see you when I see you and don't worry I'll give you more than a high five.

To everyone suffering in even the most simplest way, you are enough and more than enough all at the same time.

A sight is never too beautiful to resist.

#mental health #thankyou

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ktaebwi · 7 years

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[TRANS] ‘WINGS’ Concept Book Interview - J-hope

『 ‘MAMA’ was my real story so I wrote it very comfortably. When they asked me what kind of song I would like to make at the meeting, I said, ‘I think talking about my mother would be great. But I don’t want it to be gloomy, I want it to be bright like my personality.’ I was able to naturally express the emotions I felt about my mom in my whole life. 』

2016 was one of the best years to BTS. “I may be stating the obvious but I felt very proud and happy, because it was a year where things I dreamed of came true. We had a concert at Seoul Gymnastics Stadium and received the valuable Daesang too. There were so many people who think we wouldn’t make it. Those results were what I and the members gained by overcoming them and working hard together. That’s why I’m proud about everything.”

Do you think you can show how proud you are as much as you want? “We shouldn’t be arrogant of course but I think there’s no need to hide it. We don’t need to be like ‘no, we’re not’.”

You laughed and looked very happy when receiving the ‘Artist Of The Year’ award at ‘Mnet Asian Music Awards (MAMA)’. “I really cried a lot when we got the ‘Album Of The Year’ award at ‘Melon Music Awards’. I don’t know the meaning of those tears but I had been tearing up since before we got the award. They just all fell down when our name was called. But MAMA was different, even though the other members were all crying, I only felt happy. Maybe I couldn’t cry because I was too happy. (laughs) Ah, we finally got it. This moment came to us too. There are no words that could express my happiness.”

What did you do after receiving the award? “We just gave a big present to each other. All seven of us gathered and went eat after a long time. We went to a luxury restaurant and drank champagne. Spending time with the members is that present.”

<WINGS> seems to hold a special meaning not only to the team but also to you personally. “Yes. First of all, our album intros have always been done by the rapper line, and I finally got to be in charge of the intro with <WINGS>. In some ways, it’s like I have been working hard ever since for this one. There are fans who have big expectation in me, so I wanted to satisfy them. I thought that if I want to do this well, I need to have my ability as the support, so I worked really hard.”

Wasn’t performance practice also as necessary as rap practice? “Honestly, I felt less difficult to make songs, since I have always been writing. But the pressure about the performance was huge. I just needed to take and learn the choreography from the foreign choreographer, but its level of difficulty was really something. It took about a month to practice only the choreography and then I filmed the trailer video. I was worried a lot but the video turned out very nice. It’s all thanks to the director.”

You also had to compose your solo song “MAMA”. “Personally, it felt great having two songs with my voice in our second full album. So burden or not, I was able to enjoy working on it. ‘MAMA’ was my real story so I wrote it very comfortably. When they asked me what kind of song I would like to make at the meeting, I said, ‘I think talking about my mother would be great. But I don’t want it to be gloomy, I want it to be bright like my personality.’ I was able to naturally express the emotions I felt about my mom in my whole life.”

What did your mother say when she heard the song? “She really like it. Everyone around and even the other members’ parents were envious of her. Not just my mom, my dad also liked it a lot.”

Was he jealous? “(laughs) No, not at… Honestly I don’t know how he felt (laughs) but he was proud. He said he’s proud that I personally composed and wrote the lyrics for a song about my mom, that he’s really happy these days too. I didn’t get to see my dad smiling often before, but looking at how happy he is, I’m happy too. Sometimes he even asks me to give my autographs. Of course I should do it for him. If BTS wasn’t popular, such thing wouldn’t even happen. If I think of it as something that comes naturally, giving autographs is not hard at all.”

You played a very important role in the performance for “Blood, Sweat & Tears”, there must be a lot of pressure. “The pressure was big. I got a lot of parts this time, in the chorus and two rap parts. I was worried ‘If I pull off these parts well, will this be able to impress the fans and the public?’, because ‘Blood, Sweat & Tears’ is a song that requires a sexy and even decadent image. I didn’t think I suit that kind of character so I was worried a lot.”

How did you resolve it? “I decided not to exaggerate in order to look sexy. Whenever I monitor, I look very weird when I’m exaggerating. It’s like adding a little extra sauce on my normal self. I basically let it all out freely on stage. So I monitored myself, checked out for the fans’ reactions and did a lot of research.”

The more broadcasts you do, the better it’s complete. “Absolutely. It’s the same for every promotion. No matter how much I prepared, if I do it on stage and the reaction goes ‘It’s so-so’, I definitely will modify it. That happens a lot. The reaction is important. I’m also the center of the performance so I need to do that much. I only realize it now but, if I look sexy on the camera even just once, the fans like it a lot. I took out what I prepared with each broadcast and paid attention to do more simply and make better face expressions.”

Until before this promotion, have you ever had the greed to show more of what you can do? “There’s no way I can have no greed. I can feel I’m lacking when I make music, so I work even harder. Since we release albums often, when I look back at myself, my rap style’s the same. It’s unavoidable due to the limited time, but I often research to change it. I determined to utilize the time I have during the tour in 2017 to level up my skills. I need to do better. If I think ‘This is enough’, then it will stop there for real. I’m still far from being the better.”

Are you planning to release a mixtape like Rap Monster or Suga? “I’m thinking about it. Suga-hyung or Rap Monster’s mixtape always contains what they want to say. But I think I need to start from considering what to talk about. I’m not the type to write in-depth lyrics. I need to keep working hard, think much, read books, watch movies and listen to the stories of people around me to be able to cover what I want to talk about.”

You seems to say you need to work hard a lot. “I tend to hear feedback from people around and push myself a lot. But I also only hear what I want to hear and dismiss what I want to dismiss. If there’s anything to be fixed, I’ll fix it, if there’s anything I want to keep about myself, I’ll keep it. I don’t totally dwell on other people’s opinions.”

Have you ever imagined you would become such singer when you were young? “Honestly I matured quite fast. I was sure of my dream since I was in sixth grade of elementary, so I already had a big desire to make my dream come true soon. I practiced diligently by myself and managed myself as I want, not doing bad things, meeting good friends and dancing. It may sound funny but I was certain I would later become a singer then.”

Running nonstop from trainee days to now, isn’t there any time when you’re tired? “Sometimes, but I don’t tell anyone. For example, at the set for music video or album jacket shooting, I tend to act as bright as possible even if I’m tired. We all determined to do it well, so we should cheer each other up. If everyone’s tired and exhausted, then where’s the fun in the shooting?”

Despite that, don’t you sometimes want to put down that role? “I do think like that. But everyone is tired as well. Our members, even the staff are tired too. I should take the bullet first, actually it’s something I should do so saying ‘take the bullet’ may sound funny, but I try to refresh the mood. It’s been engraved in my body now. (laughs)”

If you want to keep your energy all the time, then you need to take good care of yourself physically and mentally. “These days I realize managing my health is important, so I planned to take this and that. But it doesn’t work well. I clearly brought nutritional supplements with me when going overseas for the tour, but I forgot and ended up not taking at all. I don’t break down mentally. I have a pretty strong mental.”

Is there any time you think ‘Is it okay to do nothing but work like this?’? “Those kinds of thoughts are possible, but I want to work hard when I still have the strength.”

Why are you thinking about that already? “(laughs) It’s just, idols go with the flow of times. As they go with that flow, time passes and they grow older, and another clock in the idol world will run. It’ll be hard to do this until 50, 60 years old. I should plan out for my old age from now. (laughs)”

Then what is J-hope’s goal? “I don’t have anything detailed. Just making the music I like and dancing as much as I could, that much is clear.”

#bts #bangtan #jhope #hoseok #cncptbook #translation #trans:interview #;-;#5:30am

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klangpath · 7 years

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Hey im also a beginner to Korean and i was wondering how did you learn vocabulary, im finding it really difficult to remember it

personally, i learn best through application. words i see my friends use more often/words i use more often tend to stick very fast. so its a little bit of a struggle when im learning a word like 지진 or 익숙해지다 which dont show up as commonly for me. but memrise helps (…if i keep up with it) and i do writing practices (will do more in future) where i try to incorporate these words and apply them.

i do make my own memrise sets of words i either come across (i scroll through old texts and pick out words i dont know), topik in 30 vocab, or just basic everyday words. for now, i (will) use daily korean vocab for foreigners pdf in order to build a stronger foundation of basic words, and continue using my topik in 30 days int. vocab as well.

writing words you dont know while watching dramas or listening to sounds can help too and viki even has a new system for some dramas that show eng subs and kor subs at same time (only on computers). always double check with naver dic or another application about the meaning. dont learn anything wrong its painful to undo.

to be honest for vocab, memorization, application, and using context clues is key:

1. memorization/context- learn the word itself, its spelling, and definition. remember a lot of words are based on context too. try to see all the different ways the word can be used.

2. application- use this word in more circumstances and see how it is supposed to be conveyed with certain grammar/meanings.

3. using context clues- figuring out the meaning of one word by way of knowing background info and the rest of the sentence.

ex: 어제 여친과 싸웠는데 얘기한 후에 화해했다.

i learned the word 화해하다 because i understood the rest of the sentence.

TIP: do not bother translating kor to eng when reading things. it will not help you. it usually doesnt make a lot of sense either? just read it as you should you’ll process things faster and it’ll just be a whole lot better for the future.

#misc #answered

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torisfeather · 7 years

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Also on AO3

If you like this story and would like to support my work, please consider taking a look at my ko-fi page. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Dina's journey to the Fourlings' planet (people called it Fourland, astronomers called it Tetraterra), didn't go without incidents.

When all the excitement of having a human mascot for the trip finally calmed down, most of the tourists went back to their daily routine. They would talk or work. Some would go back to their compartment to rest a while. The crew took care of navigation. From time to time, as they walked by on the visitors' deck, a fourling would stop to cuddle the tiny human, but apart from those occurrences the child was alone. Yoga was keeping an eye on her, but they had to organize documents and lessons for when they got back to the department, and they also had to write a report about their visit for the agency responsible for the trip.

They didn't know how humans generally spent their free time, they knew even less about human children. They wondered if she was going to need something but she quickly proved to them that little humans could be very independent. When she didn't have anyone to play with, she'd sit down on the floor and take some books from her school bag to entertain herself. She'd read some of them, look at pictures from other's, and the last ones were blank. She'd use small graphic tools to write or draw in them. Generally, when she was done coloring a page, she'd jump up, the tool still in one hand, the book in the other, and run up to Yoga to show them the result. They weren't sure what she was drawing was pretty by human standards, drawing wasn't exactly common among the fourling species, but they made sure to repeat "yes, pretty", to encourage her – they really didn't want her to lose a part of her culture because they weren't capable of judging her.

A few hours after the beginning of the trip, Yoga felt hungry and suggested going for a meal. Dina agreed vigorously, gathered her stuff and climbed up Yoga's leg before they took her in their tentacles to walk more easily and brought her to the feeding greenhouse.

Fourlings have a strictly vegan and not very diversified diet. They mostly eat ekufaga leaves and fruits, ekufagas being the most common tree on their planet, as well as majoihe, some sort of brown root vegetable that are a little like sweet carrots, harder to get because harder to grow. Because of this diet, every spaceship from Fourland carry a greenhouse to cultivate trees and feed the passengers.

At first, Dina refused to even touch the leaves Yoga would pick. The problem was there wasn't anything else, and if she couldn't eat that, feeding her was going to be a problem. The leaves were of a dark shade of bluish green, thick with water and round like cabbage leaves. Yoga was eating theirs, unfazed, and as she watched them, Dina was growing hungrier.

After several long minutes of sulking, she decided to try and put a tiny little piece on her tong. Yoga was amused with her surprised look when she didn't taste anything bad, just the fresh taste of water and a slight bitterness. She took some more, and then, reassured, dug right into the leaves Yoga was giving her.

This was the day Yoga realized just how much food a human, especially a young growing human, could eat. They might have been three times Dina's size, but she ate three times more than he did. Fortunately, the variety of trees the ship was carrying was particularly leafy. They even found a small round green fruit, the size of a big walnut, for Dina who seemed to love the sweet taste.

As she ate, she asked Yoga something, but they had left their dictionary on the visitors' deck. The only word they understood was "where", and they deducted she wanted to know where the trees came from. They said the name of their planet. She shook her head with a slightly frustrated look but didn't repeat her question. It could probably wait.

As they walked back towards the visitors' deck, she asked her question again, and Yoga still didn't understand. She wanted to know "where" was something, but what? She repeated the last word of her sentence, and Yoga felt like they heard it before, but they didn't know what it meant anymore. "Be patient, alright? I need the dictionary to understand," they explained, hoping to appease the child.

Dina smelled like impatience, and a little like fear too, and said her question again, waving her arms into signs, trying to make them understand, but Yoga still didn't have any idea of what she wanted. They tried to hold her close and pet her hair as they walked as fast as possible towards the deck. But as much as they tried, Dina couldn't wait.

After a few more minutes, she let out a small frustrated cry and wiggled her way out of Yoga's tentacles to quickly slip to the ground. Before the fourling could react, she ran away through the closest door and disappeared into the next corridor. Yoga tried to call her back but she was already far, and even though they were much taller, humans were a lot faster and more agile than their species.

They started to panic and frenetically searched for the human through the ship, asking everyone on their way if they had seen her. Those who answered by an affirmative told them she was trying to open all the doors in the ship and refused to stay in place long enough for anyone to approach her. Yoga followed their directions, anxious. What had gotten into that human?

They finally caught up to her at the end of the compartments' corridor, as she was trying to open one of the door.

"Tinga!" they called with a voice they hoped sounded authoritative.

Dina jumped and turned around. She looked afraid, angry, and her smell suggested she was hurt somewhere. Yoga noticed she was leaning forward a little and she had a hand over her abdomen. Did she hurt herself? They tried to walk closer, slowly so that she wouldn't be more freaked out than she already was. But before they could get to her, her eyes widened from horror and Yoga smelled her mix of emotions being tainted with an acrid scent.

So this was also the day Yoga found out what "Where is the bathroom?" meant.

The accident was quickly forgotten by Yoga and most of the fourlings, despite the persistent smell of urine that was a pain to get rid of for the maintenance team. At worst, Yoga was the one mocked for their little pet's hiccup. But convincing Dina to let go was another trouble. The little girl had started to cry from shame and remorse and seemed incapable of stopping. Even after a little stop by the hygiene room where she could clean herself and her dirty clothes, she kept sniffing sadly and sobbing from times to times. She refused to look at anyone, kept her eyes down and didn't ask for anybody's attention.

The unpleasant smell of her shame and uneasiness weren't tolerable. Yoga put his work away and brought the little human back to his compartment. The little empty rooms were certainly not as comfortable as the houses you could find on Fourland, but at the very least they offered some privacy. In the little space bathed in soft light, Yoga cradled Dina carefully, for as long as necessary, trying to sooth her, to remember how Wiki would calm their own unease crisis when they were just a child themself. Baby fourlings were always very emotionally unstable, compared to adults. Humans probably had a similar development. At least they hoped so, even if some things they had seen on Earth made them doubt it.

Dina let herself be cuddled, incapable of forgetting the accident. She would have liked to apologize correctly, to tell how sorry she was, but she was too ashamed, and nobody in the ship would understand her anyway. Yoga smelled like lavender at the moment, and she was tired after so many events. She fell asleep on them, snuggled between three tentacles as the fourth one softly pat her hair. When they realized she was asleep, Yoga leaned against a wall, legs folded against them, and closed their eyes as well, promising themself to always have their dictionary from now on, and to at least tried to learn the language's basics.

After several hours of sleep and a good breakfast at the feeding greenhouse, Dina looked a lot better and the accident was soon just a bad memory. Yoga and their little human settled into a comfortable, yet provisional, everyday life for the rest of the trip to Fourland.

All the passengers and crew of the Yayemagagimora 400 had quickly accepted the clandestine passenger. It wasn't like they had a choice anyway, but Yoga was glad they hadn't smelled any bitterness against their little pet. The captain, a small lunar fourling named Hou'ieh, had called them out a little more vivaciously than Wiki had when they found out about the human, but without any bad intentions. They were just righteously worried about what they could be accused of if a human heard that there was a little girl on their ship. But Dina only had to walk up to them with her shy little smile for them to forget about lecturing them, as they preferred to lift the adorable being up closer. When they saw this, Yoga thought that humans, especially children, must have some sort of hypnotic power that could coax other creatures as a defense mechanism. They should send their theory to the department research institute.

There weren't many windows in the ship. There was a big one in the command room, for visual navigation, and several smaller ones one the visitors' deck, but it had been considered useless to have any other. The deck windows were all identical, circular windows, about a two meters diameter, with a sill that was actually mostly just a frame reinforcement. Dina loved to sit on that sill to watch space, outside, but for some reason, there was a window she liked to sit at in particular; it was the last window on the left, the closest to the back wall, not far from the landing that led to the command room, and at the opposite side to the communication screen.

Every time they brought her to the visitors' deck, she'd run to the corner near that window and let go of her school bag, and then she would jump and climb up that windowsill and watch space for a long while, as if she was looking for something in there. Yoga didn't get it, the ship was way too fast after the first twenty-four hours to see anything outside. To them, she was only watching the void. But that void must have been very interesting, because when her brown gaze would dive into it, she would go completely still and silent for several minutes, sometimes exhaling a subtle mix of emotions, never the same and never logical. At first, they had thought she was sick. "I'm just daydreaming," she'd always answer if they asked what she was doing. They hadn't found the translation in their dictionary and doubted there was one. They imagined it was the same thing as what foulings would call ertyu, some sort of trance, of awake sleep in which they'd fall whenever they weren't doing anything, and that could last for hours. Except they didn't emit any emotion when they were in ertyu.

The problem was Dina never "daydreamed" for very long, and when she wasn't she needed to be entertained. The books she had in her schoolbag soon weren't enough anymore, and she wasn't always feeling like drawing. When she'd get bored, she would try to play with Yoga. The fourling tried their best to give her as much time as they could, but the notion of "game" was a little difficult for them to understand. Dina tried to teach them to play tag, but she was naturally too fast for him and the game lost it interest. Then she wanted to teach them to play hide and seek, and that worked pretty well. Yoga didn't quite understand the use of letting the human hide if the goal was to find her but they had to admit the finding process was fun, especially when they had to pretend they hadn't seen her in order to surprise her. But Dina soon realized there weren't that many places to hide in on the visitors' deck.

That game triggered a thirst for exploration in her, and she asked Yoga to go and explore the ship all by herself when they were too busy to play with her.

The ship was safe, but built for fourlings. Dina was tiny and often had to jump to reach the opening system of most doors, when she could find it. Automatic doors would detect her half the time, and she forgot how many times she found herself trapped because the door wouldn't open again. Sometimes, she had to wait for someone to open it for her, and if it took too long she would knock on the door and call for help. Some of the first words she learned in fourling language were "open" and "closed".

The different rooms on the ship were generally quite empty. Fourlands didn't have a lot of furniture, except for storage, and they were always too big. Fortunately for her, Dina was good at climbing and loved to get as high as she could wherever she went. That was also how she found out how to climb into the aeration system, and from that moment and on she could appear in any room without any warning. Soon, nobody was even surprised to see her smile, sitting up a shelf, when she was in the next room minutes ago.

When she was tired, there was always someone to delicately take her into their tentacles, cradle her, cuddle her, and bring her back to the visitors' deck, or to Yoga's room. She liked to sleep in her fourling friend's arms, but sometimes, since there was no bed, she would just lie down on the floor, in a corner, and take a nap. Yoga worried about how much she had to sleep but they reasoned that human's natural cycle must be shorter than fourlings'.

One day, as Yoga brought Dina back on the deck after a meal, the human ran as usual to her favorite window, where her school bag was now permanently staying, and froze, speechless. The ship had slowed down and you could now see very clearly, floating in space, surrounded by a myriad of faraway stars, a planet and its moon.

The planet seemed to be divided into two halves. The half the sun didn't reach was completely white, covered in a thick layer of ice. The other half was green, with some blue spots here and there, and a bit of red where the sun was the strongest. If was difficult to see from so far away, but many ships were orbiting over the sunny side. Dina, astounded, couldn't look away from the pretty planet.

Smelling her surprise, Yoga walked up to the window and took a look outside. A warm sweet smell emanated from their feathers. "My Tinga, this is Yayemagag. My planet."

#my work #original fiction #tumblr inspired #sci-fi #tinga #humans are weird #humans are space australians #humans are space orcs

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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A STUDENT'S GUIDE TO A BIG DEAL

The VCs would get same number of shares for the money. But a startup can't do what all the other big companies are bad at product development because they're bad at everything. The reason, again, is that a university can make legacy status have as much or as little weight as they want, and those two constraints yield a valuation. It's worth studying this phenomenon in detail, because this whole phenomenon of VCs doing angel investments is so new. As of now, few of the startups that postpone raising VC money may do so well on the angel money they raise that they never bother to raise more. They're not going to lose them all at once; markets don't reduce headcount. Even if your colleagues were impressed by your credentials, they'd soon be parted from you if your performance didn't match, because the way software actually gets used, especially by the people who pay the most for it, but they seem positively eager to syndicate. What I'm looking for are programs that write programs? I know, was Fred Brooks in the Mythical Man Month. What makes startups different is that usually it doesn't.

Where you go to college. And the only real test, if you believe as I do that the main purpose of a language is itself an object-oriented programming is a useful technique in some cases, but it isn't something that has to happen fast, because you can release software the minute it's done. The question is, can a language be? And yet we'd all be wrong. Most founders doing series A deals per partner per year, they're careful about which they do. Programming languages are just tools, after all. That's more than twenty percent of my life so far. In those fields it can take months to find a new job in a bad economy. It certainly is possible for individual programs to be written too densely.

They'll each become more like one another. One of the biggest differences between angels and VCs. Nearly all the people who pay the most for it, is not at all what you might expect, considering the prizes at stake. I've written before, one of which won't surprise them, and sitting on their boards if you did? Some founders say Who needs investors? Maybe we'll just have to give some of it back. But just two companies, Dropbox and Airbnb, account for about three quarters of companies that raise series A rounds, that would be a distinct node if you drew a tree representing the source code. Then I'd sleep till about 11 am, and come in and work until dinner on what I called business stuff. When you interview a startup and think they seem likely to succeed, like founders do, just their portfolio as a whole to. In other words, the main point of high-level languages is to make something users want, because you always get people who are young but smart and driven can make more by starting their own company when they graduate. For example, when I give a talk I can usually be found sitting in a corner, you may be better off just using whatever language has the best library functions for the task.

A few steps before a Rubik's Cube is solved, it still looks like a mess. What this means is that a university can make legacy status have as much or as little weight as they want, and that anyone else who did was a crank. Every programmer must have seen code that some clever person has made marginally shorter by using dubious programming tricks. But now it worked to our advantage. Founders never really liked giving up as much equity as VCs wanted. The reason VCs want a strong brand is not to write a program to help by searching source code for repeated patterns. But now that I've realized what's going on, instead of running on your desktop computer. Reminder: What I'm looking for are programs that are short because delimiters can be omitted and everything has a one-character name. I've written before, one of which is Google. The total value of the succinctness test is as a guide in designing languages. I've never used it once.

They need to do what you want to take is blocked off, and you don't take investment, then competitors who do will have an advantage over you. It doesn't merely cause you to switch from one task to another; it changes the mode in which you work. Maybe this is as it should be. In fact we did have a secret weapon, but it could be like saying the goal was readability, not succinctness. It doesn't matter if they underestimate you because of some magic quality visible only to devotees, but because it is simply the most powerful language available. A lot have been told by their parents that the route to success is to get a job. Where they fall relative to one another is a sensitive topic. The probability that a startup will win, but to reassure people already interested in using Lisp—people who know the language who will take any job where they get to use that language, regardless of the application domain.

Our secret weapon was similar. A investment, at least one partner from the VC fund takes a seat on your board could. The software business was overhung by a monopoly from about the mid-1950s to about 2005. But that could still be a bad thing. There is a kind of mania for object-oriented techniques to do in wimpier languages, but that you're able to grow 6% a week instead of 5%. Microsoft. Now all the VCs know is that their new model seems promising enough to be worth trying, and all the VCs are looking for big hits.

Lexical closures, introduced by Lisp in the early phase: concentrated software and developers. I thought succinctness could be considered identical with power. So maybe a recession is a good trend, because Larry and Sergey. We were a tiny startup, programming as hard as we could in order to hack Unix, and Perl for system administration and cgi scripts. For someone on the maker's schedule, having a meeting is like throwing an exception. The use of credentials was an attempt to seal off the direct transmission of power between generations: to encourage the trend toward an economy made of more, smaller units. Whatever help investors give a startup tends to be underestimated.

One could have described Microsoft and Apple were founded. If you're starting a startup. The reason credentials have such prestige is that for so long the large organizations in a market can come close. Some angels are, or were, hackers. If anyone has examples, I thought succinctness could be considered identical with power. Certainly they have. That's the only rational explanation for focusing on getting the right valuations, instead of running on your desktop computer.

Thanks to Paul Buchheit, Peter Eng, and Sam Altman for reading a previous draft.

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rigelmejo · 4 years

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December reading progress:

Ok just read 2 chapters of 天涯客 I today, I did actually read solid without breaks this time so I can say chapter 4 took me about 40 minutes to read. That’s the time it took to read without breaks, and looking up each unknown word.

I might be able to read a bit faster if I skipped unknown words that didnt look important.

I ran one small section through DeepL to make sure I was following the fight correctly and learned 1. Yes I was 2. Priest writes in a style the machine translator absolutely could not handle lol. (So I guess shout out to 寒舍 for reading easier grammar wise/wording choice wise I guess). I do think most of my plot confusion was from reading fast for “me” since when I slowed down and reread a few paragraphs I was able to clear up my misunderstanding. Also priest loves using 似的 in this novel.

I also have the faraway wanderers English translation open because I thought it might be good to read that alongside, to clear up any confusion or pick up context. That said, I’m much farther in the Chinese version so I’ll see if I even catch up with the English one. Also? Potentially could use Pleco for audio and the English translation to do listening reading method with this novel if I wanted.

I’m just... feeling very motivated to finish a priest novel. The idea of accomplishing that makes me so excited. Also it was the dream goal when I started? I mean dream goal was guardian but let’s take baby steps since tian ya ke is an easier read lol. Also I did NOT think I’d even be at a tian ya ke bearable reading level by this time so it’s still pretty dream goal to me!

Also this novel has 70 some chapters so... like maybe it’s doable to finish. Just compared with like the intensity that is some of priests novel chapter counts.

In related news I find it fascinating that priest does write a style the Mtl finds difficult to parse but I’m comfortable with it; yet again with the gongzi huanxi novel I died trying to follow the sentence style?? I think priest just had a huge influence on what I figured out first/feel more comfortable with lol.

I think after this I have a few novels I would like to read: SCI, poyun and the related recs I was given (which are all mystery novels), zhenhun, MoDu, some of the novels on my rec lists mm, Tamen de Gushi... I am probably gonna crave a modern novel after yhis unless I get sucked into it (in which case HELLO qi ye). SCI is probably gonna be the safer bet though as I know already that’s an easier read than priest novels. I have so many novels I want to read... I say this all as IF I can make myself finish one novel instead of skipping between many. That said I would really like to start finishing novels... to start going through them...

I’m also playing with the idea of just making myself extensive read more. It’s not good for my new Hanzi pickup since I can’t hear sounds, but I used to do that with mo du and it really did help (and was so challenging damn). But like I ALREADY have done it with some mo du chapters so I should stop being a coward. So if I could do it at 6 months I can Certainly do it now at like 16 months!! Plus I could look at the eng translations for reference and use them like parallel texts, which is a decent study method. And if I do any listening reading that’ll fill in the listening gap a bit. Anyway I just think whatever I can DO to make myself read more will speed up my progress accordingly - and get me closer to the end goal of reading anyway, which is the point. Learn by doing. I’ve got a fairy tale storybook too I could do this with, a parallel reader, if I wanna be a coward and start with something easier than Mo du lol ToT

I’m also sort of parallel reading dmbj not because I planned it, but because it’s relatively easy? Just since that’s novels I’m going through too.

—-

Some stats for myself as December is getting past the midway (counting from beginning of December):

1. Chapters of Chinese novels read: 8

2. Listening reading method: 5

3. Chinese audio listened to: 13

4. Clozemaster (which I abandoned after beginning of dec lol I hate flashcard type things), sentences gone through: 568

5. Clozemaster, track reached: 2000 most common words

In my defense of the low reading count, all the chapters this month were dmbj, tian ya ke, the wolf - basically long 20 phone page chapters. Also I have been busy as all hell this November to December so I am proud of myself for at least being consistent and continuing TO study, which is the most important thing - slow progress is ok, as long as study is consistent progress will keep happening and that’s all that really is needed. There is no time limit. (Although I should refuse to let myself buy more novels until I learn more lol ToT).

Finally, mid december, I know my goals this month: READ. READ READ READ.

Dream goals for the next few months Dec-February: READ through a full novel intensively, READ through a full novel extensively, LISTEN READ METHOD through Guardian. If I get any single of these goals done I will be an immensely happy excited person! If I get more then one I’ll feel like a god tbh ToT

Secondary: listen to ALL of Chinese SpoonFed audio (and just listening in general which I’ve done well recently). WATCH through a full show in chinese only (I’m looking at granting you a dreamlike life since I’m 1/3 done already, or border town prodigal, or legend of the condor heroes). I think these goals are very very reachable for me now, I just don’t know if I’ll have the time to do any of them fully.

#rant #December progress #reading progress #reading #December reading progress #I LOVE how I’ll make a list of novels to read #or stuff to do #then just completely fuck off ans do whatever I want instead #I mean it’s working fine for me so it’s not bad #it’s just like #I guess big FYI to be flexible and kind to yourself #because if I was more rigid I might stop being consistent in my study #and when I stop being consistent that’s when I stop making progress #so like if ur brain won’t do ur study plan #maybe be open to alternate study plans #I will work on speaking writing grammar later on I think #for now I think I’m doing ok for listening #which is really all I need it for rn

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yoitschoeliearldylan · 6 years

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The Jump is Beautiful

Peace has its ways to demand attention.

My close friend committed suicide last May. And I knew it.

My close friend committed suicide last May. And now we're lost.

I was in school cramming a group paper for a major when our barkada chat popped up. Our friend that was his coursemate was the one who messaged. I started to feel my heart getting heavy. The feeling I had last night came back and my worst fears came true when he finally told us the news. I was in disbelief. We called each other up and ask who was free so we could just be together. I asked my groupmates if I could just help tomorrow then left to meet with friends. It was the worst reunion ever.

The third day of his wake where I finally stopped crying excessively, I went back to our chatbox and found a conversation of ours on how we were struggling to find time to meet up as a barkada. He wasn't complaining though he even said a hello across the hallway was enough. I was lucky because he had a Stat subject last year so I got to see him for like 5 minutes every other day. We would chat for a bit about anything even if we both had classes. The friendship was always that simple to him. He just love simply being together, doing nothing particularly exciting. And now that's what all we want also: to be together.

“Most of the time sapat na yun sa akin e.”

My close friend committed suicide last May. And it will not be in vain.

What we can do

1. Repressed anger towards authority figures

2. Learned helplessness (tendency to stop trying after past failures)

3. Self-defeating thoughts

4. Variation in neurotransmitter systems

Me taking Psych 101 and writing this blog post is just step number 1. He has changed my life and many others'.

Farewell

To Edel,

How weird is it that the only time I talk to you at length is for a subject. Last time it was for Eng 10 case study, now for Psych 101? I guess you understand me anyway.

But you weren't without your flaws.

I miss you. I miss you everyday. We miss you everyday. And right now, days are still pretty heavy but they will get better because you gave us a reason to be better for each other and for you. Thank you for everything. I'll see you when I see you and don't worry I'll give you more than a high five.

To everyone suffering in even the most simplest way, you are enough and more than enough all at the same time.

A sight is never too beautiful to resist.

#mentalhealth #thankyou #askmore #MHLaw

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taesthetes · 7 years

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hi, cutie pie, vn army anon here~ oh wow my asks get so long, I'm so sorry:( and not at all! omg I'm such a bother to you, sorry again for such long asks! and I'm not talented, vietnamese is my mother language so ofc I'm fluent in it, then I moved to europe since a kid so the language of the country I live in is like my 2nd language. eng+german is taught at school and I've watched german channels since I was a kid so these languages are not that hard to me:) and that's great you know spanish!:o–

–I’ll probably never learn korean tho:)) I’m not in college yet, I’m a senior on business academy high school and I don’t really enjoy it so hopefully I could graduate and get on a college in the field I’d enjoy. oh wow you can do both, I’m impressed! and yes, make a choice you’ll be satisfied with, if you enjoy something else more don’t hesitate and go for it, who knows maybe you’ll like it more:) I read the tmi series till part 5 and to me it was good but I wouldn’t go back to it. and yes,–

–cassandra clare had various diff series (the infernal devices, the bane chronicles, etc.) & I see, I was into fantasy a lot back in earlier days so that’s why. oh, talking about cooking shows there’s a comedy sitcom called “young&hungry” with emily osment as female lead and it’s really funny! there’s maybe s5 already but ever since I was into kdramas&kpop I dropped all my amr shows. each ep lasted only smth over 20 mins tho so it was fast. oh, you were into exo? are you still into them?–

–I checked your bts police masterlist and it all sounds interesting, I’m excited to read other members! the police au is a good insp for gfx^^ also I wanted to tell you that jilt killed me&cerise was so fun to read, I really enjoyed it! I was also struggling the 1st time I used PS and still am tbh. I still have a long way ahead to learn:) and I’m not sure yet, like I do enjoy it but idk if I should study it, I’ll see. I enjoy reading your messages&talking to you too💕 ikr they were my otp so I–

–was happy hearing about them dating irl, pity their relationship didn’t last longer. it was actually that idea I had that I shared with you:) I’d like to write a series based on this form in future. have you watched “stuck in love” yet? and I recommend POBAW movie! I loved the friendship between emma watson, logan lerman&ezra miller in the movie. I hope I’ll gather my courage one day&come off anon but I’m still not feeling to it yet😅 have a wonderful day&I’m sorry for my long asks once again❤️

hi, raindrop!! ahhh, it’s totally okay, you don’t need to apologize for that! you are not a bother at all, and i like reading your asks and talking to you, so please don’t worry about it! 💕 and my answer got long again oops, so i’m putting it under the cut; i hope you don’t mind!

omg you were taught two languages in school though, like that’s so impressive!! :o and speaking german is amazing wow my friend tried teaching me a few words before, and i completely butchered the pronunciation 😅 and i would probably be too overwhelmed to be studying two languages at once akdjfalskjf and you’re already speaking two other languages at home- how do you not mix up your languages?? i sometimes slip back and forth between english and vietnamese haha and don’t give up on korean! since you’re so proficient in language and are interested in them, i’m sure you’ll be able to easily learn it :D

is your high school specialized for students studying business only? :o i didn’t know they have that- that would’ve made choosing majors much easier for me aha. but yes, i hope you’ll be able to study what you like next year in college!! 💗 and yes! i really love studio arts, but i know it’s hard to get a job in that field, hence the business major as well.

yeah, i saw she had a lot of series, and they all look super interesting, but the thing is, when i start a series, i binge read the entire thing, and i don’t have time for that ): i really enjoy the fantasy genre, too! i just loved the idea of magic and being able to control it. oooh, no i haven’t heard of that show; i’ll check it out!

and yes, i am an exo fan! i used to be really into them, but my biases kept leaving and i was the biggest exo m fan, so i kind of gave up on them.. i still do listen to them, and i watch exo showtime and their other guest variety shows when i’m feeling nostalgic, but i don’t actively follow up on them, like i do with blackpink or bts. are you an exo fan? :)

and thank you!!! i’m really excited to write the other members for the bts police au 💓 adjkfjalsk omg police!bts gfx– i need to brush up on my PS skills so i can attempt to make some. and thank you so much aksjdhfaksf 💘 i like jilt because it was fun to write a cliche scene from a different perspective, and omg cerise– i just really like writing embarrassing scenes lmao

ahaha i’m sure you’re much better than me at PS though because i haven’t touched it in a while 😅 and you should definitely try designing! maybe take a couple classes to see if you like it? but omg yeah, lily collins and sam claflin were really cute together 💗 and yes, i remember! i hope you do write it, and i’m really excited for your future series!! do you have any idea which member you’ll write it for? :)

and yes, i watched “stuck in love”! i really enjoyed it, and it really did seem like there should’ve been a book version of the movie too!! i thought it was really cool how each family member was like a parallel of each other, like how bill was sleeping with a married woman, while erica was a married woman who slept with another man and rusty likes a girl who isn’t the best with relationships and sam is a girl who avoids relationships and ends up with lou, who’s like one of those “hopeless romantics” she tells her brother about. i’m excited to watch “the perks of being a wallflower”! i really like all three actors/actress starring in that movie. and that’s completely okay! please keep staying on anon if that’s what you feel comfortable with :) and there’s no need to be sorry! i really like talking to you!! 💞 i hope you’re having a good day and night, too! how was your day? did you do anything fun and exciting? :D

#replies #anonymous #vn army anon

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mikumanogi-blog · 3 years

Text

2017-09-13 “Things that changed. Things that haven’t changed. Things I want changed.” Kubo Blog #23 [ENG]

“I’ve been really troubled about what would be good to write about… I think it’ll be a disorganized blog but please try and bear with me (´･_･`)”

This was the beginning of my first ever blog. If I think about it just writing this paragraph, I was troubled, distressed, anguished. On that section alone I remember spending 40 minutes. This is Kubo Shiori’s 23rd blog.

Hello everyone, thank you for your continuous hard work. I’m Nogizaka46’s 3rd generation, 1st year high school student, 16-year-old, Kubo Shiori. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Nogi jersey. Woo. I like it. Here you go! I’m feeling energetic today.

Yes! Let’s talk about this to start today’s blog.

September 3rd, 2017, we held the bowling competition special event, thank you very much. This was only the second time in my life I’ve been bowling. I mainly threw the ball in the gutter. Nope. The first round I only got the ball in the gutter, but why did I come in second.

Then everyone told me, “Kubo chan you’re the goddess of victory aren’t you.” Everyone was spoiling me. I apologize…I wasn’t able to knock them down (´･_･`) and in the second round the most pins I knocked down was three. So when our team said that “our goal is for each person to knock down one pin,” they were extremely happy when I knocked down three.

It was an extremely heartwarming bowling competition. It was a super fun (´･_･`) thank you!

On the next day there was the dinner cruise! My table was Ayane san, Ririan and me. Halfway through Mizuki also joined our table!

Ayane san was extremely trustworthy (´･_･`) While doing a quiz with the fans, I did my best to answer the questions, data and statistics I didn’t know (´･_･`) it was fun, it made me think ‘I want to do a quiz again’ (´･_･`) I want to hurry up and do another quiz (´･_･`) Thank you very much!!!

Then, on September 9th we held another Seven Eleven Live Concert!! It’s been a long time since we’ve been able to perform in front of everyone, this was sooo much fun (´･_･`) I wonder how many times I sang in my head “ahh, so fun. Ahh so fun.’ (´･_･`)… I had the strong feeling once again that I want to perform in front of everyone even more. Thank you very much.

Then, the next day, September 10th, was the national handshake event!! ✨ Thank you very much!! I was paired with Renka!! She’s honestly so adorable. Please let me talk about her for just a little bit.

When I was doing the handshake, I heard a lot of loud laughing voice and high pitch sounds of ‘EHHHH”, and this raised my energy. It made me feel two years younger (´･_･`) I think Renka has the power to make people smile. But it’s not just that she smiles for fun, just by seeing her smile the people around naturally start smiling too. I was so lucky to be able to see that wonderful smile from beside her all day. Even though she’s younger, she’s easy to talk to. I always deliberately call her Renka chan. She’s so adorable I can’t help it. Renka chan. Let’s go shopping together soon.

To tell you the truth, in this picture I’m hugging her while sitting in her lap. Do you feel jealous?

When you look at it from this angle it looks like Shiori is the younger sister doesn’t it. ‘EH, that’s not the case?’ thank you.

After thinking, ‘I want to eat a cream puff’ in my time of need I casually went to Nogizaka and ended up eating a Choux pastry!! Is there anything happier than this? I was so happy (´･_･`) As I thought, happiness is something you can call for. Even if you wait it’s not something that will come to you. That’s what I have learned.

Next, September 6th was Yoshida Ayano Christie’s birthday. Happy Birthday Aya chan! I’ll show you all this super cute picture of Aya chan as a present. Honestly, I wanted to keep it on my phone and not share it but… I like sharing what has been given to me and therefore I’ll share it with everyone!

Recently whenever our eyes meet I wink. When they do she reacts with a ‘you got me ♡’ recently I don’t know what I should do. Aya chan (´･_･`) I’m sorry (´･_･`) I love that gentleness about you.

If I must say so myself, I think I took a good picture. I love ya Aya chan (´･_･`)♡

And then! Today, September 13th… is Momo chan’s birthday, Happy Birthday!! Momo chan is really kind and because of her I can’t help but think that people with such pure hearts truly exist on this planet. But I feel like I’ve said this before….

Momo chan likes taiyaki and so I thought I would buy her one, so I went for a walk looking for a taiyaki store. I couldn’t find one, but instead found a Japanese sweets store nearby and there I bought a sweet called ‘Nobori Aya (Climbing trout)’ They’re both fish!!!

Happy Birthday Momoko (´･_･`)!!!

Please let me make some announcements.

· July 15th: Ex Taishu sama

Yamashita and I were both allowed to do a front cover shot. I’m super glad. Since joining Nogizaka46 a year ago this is my first front cover. Please check it out

· September 28th platinum FLASH sama

I did a solo photoshoot. This was a day many miracles happened. I’m happy that we were able to do the shoot on that day. I’m overjoyed to be able to do a solo shoot. Please check it out.

· September 30th BUBKA sama

I did a solo photoshoot. I’ve wanted to say this for so long and I finally have… (´･_･`) Thank you very much. Every day I occasionally think that I want to do a photo shoot like this… after thinking, I can’t believe that I was actually able to do it…I feel surprised but at the same time extremely overjoyed. It’s my first time being able to talk about my feelings in a full and relaxed way. On that day I fell in love once again with photoshoots. Please make sure to check it out. Thank you very much!!!

· October 10th CM now sama

I did a shoot with Miona san. This was my first time doing a shoot with her and I was very nervous. As I thought, there was a lot I could learn from her, I was watching her the entire shoot. There were times during the shoot with Miona san that I couldn’t stop laughing. Our solo time together ✨ I couldn’t stop smiling. It comes out in a while from now but please check it out.

Today I was able to make some new announcements to everyone. Please make sure to buy them. I tried to show of sides of me that I haven’t shown before. Ahhh, I’m also excited for the release dates.

As a member of Nogizaka’s 3rd generation it has been one year since I’ve joined. Which means, please let me do my self-introduction once more.

Kubo Shiori

Birthdate: July 14th 2001

Cancer

Blood type: O

From: Miyagi Prefecture

Favorite foods: Yogurt, Ice cream, soybeans

Hobbies → writing letters

What are you working hard on right now → studying make-up

Treasure　→ an angel plushie

〜please quickly read through this〜

On my days off I don’t usually leave the house, I clean the house, watch tv, cook, and eat a lot of delicious food. I like relatively simple western clothing. I can’t do my make-up, I’m in the process of learning. I like talking. There are times at the handshake events where I talk before the fans. I love live concerts; I strain my eyes to see people in the back. I try and find towels and handheld fans. I love photoshoots. Taking photoshoots for magazines is my favorite job. I always want to try and show different sides of me to a lot of people.

I structured my introduction a little bit differently than usual. To those who are saying “I want to hear more”, please ask again at a different time.

Well then, once again, on September 4th, 2017, exactly one year has passed since I joined Nogizaka46s as a member of the 3rd generation. The days during the past year have just flown by. There are many things that I have experienced over this year and all of them were important parts of shaping me into who I am today. Through this process I’ve met and been supported by, the senior members, other 3rd generation members, the staff, everyone involved in the group and finally the fans.

Especially during the Midsummer Tour 2017 was I able to feel the grandeur of the senior members. Learning by watching what they do, I’ve been able to learn a lot. By watching what they do I have arrived at where I am today. However, watching by learning is meant only for the first year, from here on I can’t keep only doing that I should do other things as well.

On November 7th and 8th, I’ll be able to stand with the senior member on the stage of Tokyo Dome. I’ve been blessed which such circumstances, I can’t take it lightly. I need to work hard to find a way do contribute to the group.

Within all the experience I had over the last year, I was able to find, little by little, things I wanted to try, make come true and to challenge. Moving forward if I put something into words, I need to accomplish it. It want to be someone that’s good at carrying out one’s words.

I have a very serious and earnest personality, when I encounter the words of the fans I don’t feel as though I have the luxury to think “what should I do…” Instead, I throw my heart and soul at what is before me, and I focus on trying to force out the best possible results. Everyone is the source of my strength. Thank you as always.

For just a little, I’m going to tell you something I’ve been wanting to say for a while.

I wonder if Shiori has changed a little bit.

What does everyone else thing?

Do you think she’s change?

That’s the way I’ve always wanted to ask. However, that’s not the right way, I need to be one to realize my change. I need to be the one to notice it. If I don’t notice my own change then I definitely haven’t changed.

Over the course of the past year, there are a lot of change to my circumstances. However, internally I still can’t say with any confidence in what way I’ve changed. Right now, after one year has passed, I wanted to write it down and I wanted to convey these feelings to everyone as fast as possible.

I know I’ve said it many times and you’re probably sick of hearing it but.

I will be different.

You say you’ll be different, but what is exactly is that will be different? What is fundamentally changing? Is there something you still want to be changed? Yes these are questions that I’m often asked.

It is not decided how I will change. I’m not deciding how I will change. Without deciding, in the environment I am placed in now, in what way will I be able to change… that’s how I’m thinking about it. This is where I want to satisfy my change.

On top of that, if I stay the way I am now and I continuously ask you, “what do you think?” I think you’ll get tired of someone like me. I don’t want to be like that and so that’s why I want to change. One day you’ll see a changed me, I want to be changed for the people who know me.

It may be suffocating but that’s who I am. I love people who are able to accept and understand the fact that there are people like me out there.

I’m going to continue to walk along this tightrope, and I may be swaying but please look after me.

You won’t regret it everyone.

One picture right after I joined and one picture one year later. The pose is unexpectedly the same.

The picture on top is close to the first time I took a close-up selfie. It was so long ago it, long before I even joined Nogizaka I thought about trying to do a selfie. There was a time I tried really hard to find a good angle for my cell phone, but I couldn’t seem to do it right. I still had a picture of that time and I showed it to Hazuki. After I showed it to her, she laughed really hard. It looked like a passport photo. “Post it on your blog one day!” she said, but I don’t have the degree of confidence to post it.

This is the slowest my pen has moved for any blog up till now. Honestly, the more and more I think about what kind of feelings I want to convey to you the harder they seem to come out.

The second year. If I do the same thing as the first year not much will change and therefore, I don’t think I will do the same things I did in the first year.

I’ll write again.

Kubo Shiori.

Words without falsehoods. You cannot just say the beautiful things. It does not always have to be beautiful. It does not always have to be perfect. If I write about my true and honest feelings, they will be conveyed to everyone, delivered, believed. I’ll keep writing these long blogs.

Not only documents and length. I write what I want. Throw away your twisted pride and write your raw feelings.

Is that kind of blog ok too?

Embarking on the second year.

↑TL:

To everyone,

It has been one year since we’ve joined Nogizaka46.

Thank you so much for watching over our growth up till now.

This last year has flown by.

Within that year I’ve met and talked to all of you.

These words have always been the source of my strength. Even now that hasn’t changed.

I want to become a person that nobody gets bored of.

In the second year I’ll continue to run.

Please continue to look after me.

Thank you so much.

Kubo Shiori

https://blog.nogizaka46.com/third/2017/09/040636.php

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