#trying to think of a new name for myself
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Its been a few month since I've been out of headspace why is everything like That. /half joking
Like i knew things would be different but damn, like my arms? My hair? Even my smell is. Off. Everything is off. Its okay, i know whats going on im not disoriented or anything mostly its all surprise but im just. So this is what its actually like to not be out for a while and see things change
System stuff hits a little different sometimes
#actually plural#zims stink#fictive#invader zim#rant#osdd fictive#like. mitten is still in charge in fact shes been cocon for a week almost now?#GOOD for her when i was out before she couldnt even do that for some reason and its real nice to come back to her thriving#my relationship with kiba is firing back up bc im not a mopey bitch anymore and being in this form doesn't suck like it used to#its really nice#im getting over Cincinnati. the thought of it isnt crippling like it was last time i was out so thank you team for working with that omg#its sunny and warm and fall out and im going to a party at my uncles as a pirate im very excited#i havent dressed up in like a decade and ive never had contacts. my family is about to be introduced to me having them.#trying to think of a new name for myself#something nature and universe themed but quiet and small and about growth#something like limabean but .idk maybe bean IS perfect its mine now? it always was. but. they. made it ours. idk.#it stings still dont get me wrong the whole thing is aggravating and painful regardless of position but.#yeah i can think about it without that pit or anything
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@mcyt-yuri-week day 1 Sun/Moon awooga awooga (Aiko - Star/スター) (Lyrics TL)
(Yeah you're only gonna see GemPearl from me)
#mcytyuriweekvalentines#ignore the fact that the song name is star and not sun or moon........ it made me think of gempearl a lot alright#gempearl#shinyduo#shiny duo#pearlgem#this isnt as good as I wanted but look. Theres a lot of yuri to draw this week so Im gonna have to stop myself at some point#to have enough time to post them. And it'll keep me from overstressing about every little detail haha#again. trying new stuff!!! So my art wont look the way I want it to when I do but no shame in trying. Always learning baby#trafficshipping#hermitshipping#trafficblr#writing is in alt text if the cursive is unreadable sorry!! Literally picked the most readable one I had haha cursive fonts are painn#tubby art
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I hear you on brave but I think Mr. CEO man could be woz
Which I’m all here for tbh
anon you sent this over 9 hours before the reveal, h...HOW DID YOU KNOW
(I am also all here for it honestly) (I kind of hope they lean really hard into the overworked-CEO bit...how is he supposed to fight evil when there's all this paperwork that he has to get in by Friday, ugh)
#art#ride kamens#i had convinced myself he was going to be necrom#so when i saw the color scheme i was like HELL YEAH I CALLED -- wait#but i am definitely not complaining!#100% true: i texted my sister to be like 'you'll never guess who the new riderboy is'#'he was the best part of his show'#immediate response: 'woz'#we are a woz household#(although his character is giving me huge zangetsu vibes)#(hold on...takato...takatora...WAIT A MINUTE --)#so probably his brother (i think his name is read uryuu?) will be the other tower emblem guy then#he has sort of distinctive hair so i THINK i know which silhouette he is but i'm not sure who he's based on#it would be kind of hilarious if he was ryuugen but we know we're getting a gaim so that's probably not happening#(sorry for being incredibly boring) (i'm having a lot of fun speculating though!)#anyway back to fruitlessly staring at these screencaps to try and figure out who anyone is
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Worm Arc 21 thoughts:
Well that was sure a turn around from last arc's "I'm going to rally the students so I don't get captured."
I know my daughter has made some . . . mistakes, but I'm not a fan of her turning herself into the openly corrupted and also bad at their job parahuman cops.
(Parahuman cops as in "cops who police parahumans" not "cops who are parahumans")
Like look, I get it. A precog told her to cut ties. I can't say it's wrong to follow that advice. But she could do that in a lot of ways that don't involve the PRT.
The second not from Dinah just being "I'm sorry" is brutal.
But before she can turn herself in she has to absolutely fucking crush the PRT/Protectorate for outing her civilian identity.
I love how fucking simple taking out the entire PRT headquarters was for Skitter and her girlfriends!
Who needs anyone else? Bitch brings muscle, Tattletale brings information, Skitter brings battlefield control. Lesbian polycule power activate!
Was it an overboard response? Maybe. Was it badass how she just took out so many heroes and PRT troops with ease? Yes.
Poor Dovetail has one of the most embarrassing introductions ever. First time we see her and Skitter is wiping the floor with her and thinking about her "crummy power".
God I hate Tagg so much that he makes me miss Piggot. Like she was absolutely terrible, but he's worse! And making me miss Piggot makes me hate Tagg even more!
Kindly old cemetery groundskeeper who doesn't pay much attention to the news! Never a bad trope.
They gave Butcher 15 to Cherish???!? Like sure they give all the reasoning for it but like ... it just seems like a really high risk situation. If she ever gets out it's going to suck. A lot.
THE SCENE AT RACHEL'S PLACE OH MY GOD!
SHE IS BUILDING A COMMUNITY! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!
Rachel just over here finding everyone like her and giving them a place. Legit crying. Look at that fucking growth!
(Also shout-out to my wife for having basically done the same thing. It's how I met her. It's how I met one of my girlfriends. And so many other important people. So ya. I fucking love this.)
Also you ever like a girl so much you try to give her an entire planet? Cause Taylor sure has.
"Rachel I don't want you to be sad when I'm gone so you can basically have this whole other planet we found."
GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
Imp let Regent take control of her . . . welp. Like, I'm not really surprised by this. And in a different situation I wouldn't even really find it that weird. I'd do it with the right person. But combination of age and the situation they are in and Regent being Regent annnnnd ya. Welp.
I did love how much of the interactions between Skitter and Regent/Imp really was just her struggling with parenting two teenage supervillains.
IT'S NOT SO EASY, IS IT CHILD?!? MAYBE YOU'LL CUT ME SOME SLACK AND LISTEN TO MY ADVICE IN THE FUTURE!
(She won't)
I fucking LOVE that she made the bible themed hero kneel. Absolutely fucking amazing.
Oh shiiit, Skitter just flat dropped that guy multiple stories. Is she going to far?
. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.
Damn, Valefor sure has some fucked up powers, I wonder what they're gonna do abou-
. . .
. . .
. . . . . .
. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.
. . .
Yep.
. . .
. . . I think I preferred when she just used a knife.
So anyway
Not a fan of Taylor having more alone time with Brian (not because I have any issue with the idea, but because I think she needs to be focusing on her girlfriends), but I am a fan of her using bugs to clean her dress and fix her hair afterwords while Brian just kinda sits there and has to contemplate what he has gotten himself into. Queen shit.
Flechette was SO mad that Parian wasn't "cute" anymore, I couldn't stop laughing. Sure, she said "You had to take the playfulness away? The joy?" but we all know what she meant. Of course, it's won't take very long for the new costume to get Flechette's attention. (I have to mention that this is basically exactly what I said when reading the scene, and the interlude a few chapters later just proved me right.)
Flechette is just so hopelessly gay
Miss Militia is actually getting very mild respect from me right now. Like, she's still working for the cops but she is actually agreeing to silently push against some things. Now, she says she doesn't have more power then that but she is a very well known hero and if she would publicly speak out about certain things there is a decent chance she could do more. That would of course be putting her position at risk though. Which is why she only gets very mild respect right now.
OH MY GOD I DIDN'T JUST GET TO SEE TATTLETALE'S MURDER WALL, I GOT TO SEE HER ENTIRE MURDER ROOM!
Fucking multiple bulletin boards with threads connecting them. Everything color coded. Reference numbers to files with more details. Multiple TV screens, computer with constant information dump. God. It's like a literal representation of the inside of my mind while I read Worm. SO MANY THINGS TO FIGURE OUT!
I love a lot of characters, but Tattletale always stays near the top. She gets me.
And from the fucking joy of getting to see that setup I come crashing the fuck down.
Like, I have completely figured out at this point that Skitter is turning herself in. I know what is coming. She's had her moment with everyone else and Tattletale is the last one.
And then. Then just . .
No goodbyes.
😭😭😭😭😭
HOW DARE THIS BOOK MAKE ME FEEL MY OWN FEELINGS!! I'M TOO GAY FOR THIS!
I do find it hysterical that the PRT officers working the front lobby don't all recognize Skitter on sight. Fucking gas station employees will manage to keep track of people with pictures on the "bad check" board, you'd think the PRT could manage to have their officers keep track of the face of one of the most well know villains in the country, if not the world, who also controls their city. PRT is forever bad at their job.
That one guy did notice her eventually though, so I guess he gets to be employee of the month.
The Number Man interlude thoughts:
The inside of this mans mind is one of the sexiest things I have ever seen and the constant reminder of the horrible things he is helping Cauldron do to all their prisoners was very helpful because it was the only thing keeping me from deciding that The Number Man is a perfect soul that can do no wrong.
I have no illusions here. I am weak. This man is a monster and I should not have any trouble remembering that.
But fuck shit fuck oh god fuck I don't even need him to touch me. I just need him to TALK to me. I just need him to get high with me and let me pick apart how his mind works!
He understood numbers, and through them, he understood everything.
That line. Absolute killer. Fucking take me.
. . . anyway yes it's a very interesting interlude!
Loved seeing more of the inner workings of Cauldron
I very much want to see the final level of their basement that only the Doctor goes into because I said that I thought Cauldron had a dead (for values of dead that are non-definable) higher dimensional being in their basement back during arc 15 and now I know for sure that there is something down there. I wanna know if I was right!
Oh my god he was friends with Jack
"Friends"
Look I make everything gay ok? It's not my choice! Sure it means I get to enjoy every tiny bit of Wolfspider and Chatterbug cause I see all of it. But it also means I see the ships I don't want to think about!
I men what was I supposed to think when Jack said “We can live this. Together. Every waking second…”?
Gay
Parian interlude thoughts:
And speaking of gay!
Fucking Flechette just full blown "Fuck all of this I want you to tell me what to do for the rest of my life!"
Full U-Haul lesbian.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
This is Parian's new costume having an effect.
Just so gay. I love it.
Also Bitch just so fucking ready to break Skitter out. So fucking gay.
And the incredible loyalty, which is gonna hurt if she ends up feeling betrayed by Skitter.
Still gay though.
Tattletale, basically without powers, just completely giving Accord the "fuck off, we're in charge" was amazing. All she had to do was promise to consider his binders and he was all in. This poor man just wants somebody to read his ideas! He's like a aspiring screenwriter just begging people to read his script.
#Worm#Worm Web Serial#Parahumans#Cairavende reads Worm#Skitter#Wolfspider#Chatterbug#Smugbug#Number Man#I love doll lesbian#She is one of my favorite side characters#Curious what Flechette's new name is going to be#I was cackling about the idea of Flechette crossing half the city to make a phone call cause no one has any idea how much Skitter can hear#Or how far away she can hear it#And it's just like “Well uhhh other side of the city I guess?”#Also the amount of brain power currently being used to try and come up with a clever ship name for Jack Slash and The Number Man#Is unreasonable#I don't care. I don't want to care.#I don't want to think about shipping ANYONE with Jack#I hate that pretentious little shit bag so much#And yet#The possibilities with numbers and dividing and such are endless#And I can't stop myself#Please send help#Or just send me more of The Number Man's internal thoughts#That could distract me
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i have officially returned. ask me anything.
#random thoughts#i'll probably answer it tomorrow because i'm tired. i don't know why.#ciel if you see this i've been nicer to myself these past few days following your birthday. taking care of myself in general aspects.#which i sort of hate myself for but it's okay because. uh. i won't be like this forever. i'll be better at what i'm trying to do i promise.#new year's resolution is not fucking with me.........#oh also!! i've been sort of feeling like a dead person at times. and also like a cockroach. i have had to repeatedly tell myself that#i'm not dead i'm not dead!!!!#because i'm not. obviously. and i know i'm not. my brain is just silly. it likes to tell me i am things i am not like book characters.#and recently my mother got me my own rosary and we've been practicing praying together with my brother.#can you imagine how bad it must be for me to turn to christianity as a coping mechanism? not even when i was terrorized with death thoughts#not even in august for fuck's sake.#but it's actually not that bad. though i think i like the idea of organized religion more than i like being a part of it.#also i feel like my being catholic (mostly non-practicing) is betraying the queer community somehow. like. queer people have suffered#so much because of the christian church in general. so it's like. being christian is weird when i'm also queer.#but also then i feel weird when i try to do things in relation to christianity. like. put saint in my artist name.#that feels blasphemous i don't know. is it?????? it's not that serious either way but. augh.#i am going to write a song about this. also fellow christians is it okay to use the lyric 'uselessly clutching her rosary' or is that bad?#because i mean. technically. the she i'm referring to sort of is. because god isn't solving any of our problems.#he's just fucking. watching. if he's even real.#(and no my disappearance isn't related to the catholicism thing it's something else. as in the one thing i haven't told anyone else but cie#and an irl friend. if you are ciel then i am completely open to talking about said thing.#otherwise i will continue to drop cryptic little notes on my blog because I AM SILLY. {: )#going to play roblox now and maybe say hello to you fuckers on discord for a bit of fun. goodbye.
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Congratulations on nothing. I'm back to drawing LoV again after a bit of a break
those are mostly just a redraw practice for fun Toga is a try in "more canon way of drawing" with color practice too
I'm sorry that it's in russian because I have to have some will to localize jokes that came into my head while drawing it
it's like... a robot au??? or something, mostly just a joke "what if AFo just built Tenko and changed what he wanted"
and this is a joke about our 'favorite' 419 plot twist so it's basically just a bunch of joked about AFO failing to get any way to get control instead Tenko's head is not empty. It downloaded games, friends and stuff about being a hero but NOT as a literal hero, more on "villains need help I'm a hero then" way
and yes that text behind is "hands" written all over the place bc I wanted to add hands in handwritten form
#fanart#sketch#bnha#my art#toya todoroki#dabi#toga himiko#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#league of villains#mha fanart#kinda robot au#I love drawing Tenko in this “I have no thoughts” eyes I always wonder what was his life back in that period#I have a lot of questions#but sadly it's not plot relevant so no info for us#:( sigh#alrightI'll do it myself >:( as many others did#but I like to think of that period with gloves or the mix of time without them but before he got a new name#I just want to understand how to write him#I know how but the little one#he's not like a normal kid and not a just trauma kid too#I hate how I'm slowly getting obsessed again and it already made me cry like 5 times bc I'm like THEY'RE DEADDDD *cries*#and 5 mins later oh! FUN THEY'RE ALIVE AND WELL bc I just turned on MVA#MVA anime is my guilty plesure I feel like home in a way that a place that is not home is home but home not comfy but familiar#plus it doesn't feel like an anime after so many rewatches it's like oh those guys are trying again I love that#still thinking of some of the topics I want to write about#but not rn I'm going to bed good night#also I thought of Toga's talk with Ochako she's still right#I tried to bottle up my emotions and feelings about LoV and today I had like an obsession with them without a break#because I missed liking them so much
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Izakaya Kamenoya
I am re-watching the Captain Amagai arc, which I love because it has just a shit-ton of Seireitei slice-of-life worldbuilding. Early in the arc, Kira goes to the bar with Renji and Iba to sob about how his new Third Seat is better than him, and it made me wonder-- do the lieutenants always go to the same bar, or does the anime just make up a new one every time? Episode 172 had a nice shot of the exterior:
I immediately went to Episode 355 (the second New Year's episode), because I'm always thinking about Rukia shotgunning that beer while Renji gazes on lovingly, and it certainly *looks* like same place, but again, maybe that's just a very standard-looking izakaya.
I decided that trying to translate the kanji might help. They're more visible in the first image. The ones on the paper lantern, 酒処 were easy, because they just say izakaya (literally, "alcohol" and "place"). That just supported the idea that this was just some generic bar. For the kanji on the wooden lantern, which appeared to be the same as the ones on the sign above the door, I managed to puzzle out the bottommost one, 屋, which means "shop" or "restaurant." Hmm.
At this point, I was feeling a little stumped, so I went looking for other screen shots.
Other bar scenes I could remember took place in: Episode 179 (Ukitake and Kyouraku try to angle Amagai into a threesome). This had a clearer shot of the sign, and it's definitely the same as the lantern.
Ep 305 (Kira and Hisagi go for drinks after work and run into Unohana having "Ladies' Night" with Soi Fon, the Kotetsu sisters, and Yachiru ????)
And finally, Episode 265 (the end of the Sword Beasts arc, Ladies' Night again, I guess, this time with zanpakutou)
and bingo, they actually translated it for me, this time!!
In, the only one that didn't turn out to take place at Izakaya Kamenoya was from Ep. 303, the first New Year's episode. The SWA holds their holiday luncheon here (the sign says 茶屋, or "tea house") .
It is also not the place where Rukia and Renji announce their engagement in WDKALY, that place is called Safflower, and it's fancier and it's specifically mentioned that it's way classier than everyone's usual digs.
That's neither here nor there, let's get back to Izakaya Kamenoya!
Later on, like when I was 90% of the way through writing this post, I realized there was an earlier shot of the sign in episode 172 that was also translated (which I thought I remembered and then assumed I had hallucinated when I couldn't find it, but it was from a separate trip to bar with Kibune and Kira's shitty subordinates). Conveniently, it's also probably the most readable out of all of them. EDIT: I didn't notice when I pasted this in here, but they translate it as Kamegameya here, which seems like a mistake? B3 suggests they might have read the second character as a repetition (with the k turning into a g, which I don't know all the details of, but I assume it's that thing that happens in Japanese when a word is in the interior of another word and it gets a harder consonant, the same way the s in "sakura" in Senbonzakura becomes a z). Google also tells me that the name of Yugi's grandfather's game shop in Yu-Gi-Oh is called Kame Game, so I wonder if the subtitler here was just working on muscle memory 😂. I'm sticking with Kamenoya, although Turtle Turtle Bar has its own charm)
The three characters in the upper left are 居酒屋, which is just a different way to spell izakaya.
"Kame" was easy to translate, it's the leftmost large character on the sign, 亀. It means "turtle", but the second meaning is "heavy drinker," so I'm guessing this might be a bit of a pun. Unfortunately, googling didn't turn up any further detail on this.
I puzzled a little over the middle character, until I realized that it might be 之, which is an older version of の. Oh, says me, who only speaks the Japanese I picked up from anime, it's Kame no ya, the way all the inns in Kakuriyo end in "ya." It just means "House of the Turtle", or "Turtle's Pub."
Turtle's Pub. Can we just take a moment to reflect on the fact that the lieutenants (and sometimes captains) like to hang out at someplace called Turtle's? I am so charmed by this. I have not been so excited since the time I realized that Renji was wearing the koi hoodie in the Bount Arc OP.
It's possible that it was just named by a guy who has "kame" as part of his name or who likes turtles, or as I said, maybe it's a pun, but there are two other possibilities I thought of:
In line with this post on the naming scheme for the Seireitei Gates, perhaps it's in the north part of the city, and named after Genbu the Black Tortoise-Snake
When I am making up business names in my fanfic, I often like to associate them with the squads they are near-- dragons for stuff near Squad 10, fish for 13, firebirds for things that are more city-wide. It's partially trying to tap into squad solidarity, and partially so people have a clue where your place is located in this stupid maze city. I love the idea of some former captain with a turtle-themed zanpakutou, whose is fondly remembered because someone happened to name a good bar after them.
I looked up that extremely questionable Blood War era Seireitei map, wondering if maybe Squad 3 was near the north gate:
It turns out it is not (assuming the unlabeled squads just go in order), but you know what is? Squad 10. So if Kamenoya is named after the North Gate, I assume everyone drinks there because it's close to Matsumoto.
(thank you very much to @kaicko for checking my work)
#izakaya kamenoya#posts you bring to your autism assessment#this is probably going to be a part one of three i have a *lot* of interior shots i want to talk about#thank you for coming on this translation journey with me i'm kind of an idiot but i had fun#for the record i did try throwing these in google lens and it said ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so i had to do it myself#this is especially funny to me b/c my local state university has a turtle mascot so we literally *do* have a lot of bars named after turtle#turtle bar turtle bar TURTLE BAR#if anyone has any additional sightings please feel let me know!#do you think byakuya has ever been to izakaya kamenoya? i feel like he got dragged there occasionally as a lt and he hates it deeply#anyone know how to campaign for a new bleach wiki article? asking for a friend
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post oc lore king/queen !!
😭 I don't really have lore tbh, mostly vibes. Everything is too underdeveloped for lore
I have vague ideas of what I want my ocs to be.
For example, I want to put these guys in a 'time travel' kinda situation, where a murder takes place (that phone guy, who was the only one who knew how to help them get back in their time).
The only thing worse than their designs are the names
#these are old pictures. I technically have reference sheets of them but they are at my house. if I remember I'll post them wg#*when I get back (cut myself there oops)#ask#anonymous#art#traditional art#oc#original character#Cay#Tor#amazing names not at all lazy or uncreative#some 'lore'. since Tor is based on a more modern piece of technology he is too out of place in the story#this really is a problem for them because they don't want to attract unwanted attention so Cay haves to be the 'leader' of the situation#this whole thing cane from me thinking of the plot twist in the end. so I'll probably never actually flesh the story out#it'll live in my head forever#but I will try to flesh Cay and Tor out#I was also thinking of giving Cay a bow tie instead of a regular tie. we'll see#the phone guy doesn't have a name yet#btw I'll probably draw more of that other new oc (the human with no name) and Trime#“king” “queen” nah. more like. more like “Monarch”#although in my head both queen and king are gender neutral somehow. like grandma and grandpa and dad etc#edit: I just saw 'haves' instead of 'has' because autocorect doesn't work on the tags for some reason (I changed the sentence midway through#I swear I know how to English)
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doctor who human!au with multiple doctors but they’re all named by their numbers because they’re all trans and picked them out theirselves.
#they’re NERDS.#and then across the street lives their older neighbors. the normal sounding professor yana (<- also trans) and. War. (<- very obviously#trans.)#akdjjflfj i think if i wrote a fic like this i would genuinely just end up using their numbers as names#and give this as the in-universe excuse to do so. maybe they collaborated.#if they’re siblings in it then they definitely did#ten voice: you know we should probably also have normal names if we change our birth certificates. something people won’t raise an eyebrow#at just so that we can go stealth if we need to. || eleven voice (<- married a woman who named herself RIVER SONG.): sorry i can’t hear you#ive already changed mine and i gave myself sixteen new middles names#(thirteen: you know john smith isn’t a normal name right? it’s too normal. it’s suspicious. || ten: >:( || twelve: (the only person trying#to sleep at the sleepover voice) Please Shut The Fuck Up)#human!sibling!doctors au
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god i love stardew valley but i genuinely cannot play it unless im willing to grind 6hrs a day in it because that's just the way my brain works
#i think im gonna try and marry either alex or sam in my new game.... we'll see#ive seen a lot of both of their heart events but . i want them to be Mine#i have to stop myself from talking to shane in this game bc he rly is my number one but. we'll see#my character's name is Hadley and the theme of his farm is the color purple :)#i try to give all my playthroughs a theme ... this one is purple / violet lol#★#stardew valley
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drawing the first two ocs i ever cared about, ft the one who i made to vent and inspired my username, and the one i accidentally ended up in the exact situation of. its been like 10 years since i came up with them but i still think about these two. might draw gijinkas of them or redesign them or something
#originally these two were conceived as sisters#eventually i made them friends#but yeah thats why they sort of have similar color schemes its because they were related at one point#i tried to do this as close to their original designs as possible but i didnt feel like looking for my old art of them#i think i lost most of the files#anyways the original story i had for these two was kind of based on the mental health crisis i was having at the time#in my earlier drafts of it i focused on dreams mental health problems and her suicidal ideation with sapph trying to help her through it#but over time i ended up thinking of it more from sapphs point of view#with her constantly bending over backward for dream to try and help and how she was constantly worried sick for dream to the point of-#-not being able to function normally#i put more of myself into her than i did into dream eventually lol#and then a couple years later i ended up in sapphs exact position#i havent really touched them specifically since then#though i have thought about that oc universe outside of them#doodles#dream (oc)#sapph (oc)#btw despite her name being sapph shes not gay shes aroace#the label is new but whenever i thought about her i always imagined her not being interested in romance at all#sapph is just short for her original name (sapphire)
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actually kinda crazy its been ten yrs since i realized i wasnt cis i think i realized i probably wasnt het either a year or two prior to that too. i was still testing the waters bc i was a demigirl n then genderfluid b4 realizing i just was not a girl at all sometime in 2015 but happy ten yrs of fucking my gender !!
#if u followed me when i still used sge/her u deserve a medal#2014 tumblr was an actively hostile environment even if i realized i was trans via it so its like#im grateful for the series of events that got me here n also i would never wish that upon anyone else let alone myself#anyways its never 2 late etc i roealized i was not str8 when i was like 16-17 n that i was not cis 18-19#n its funny im leaning into a new name this yr too i mean i didnt try new names until 2016 i think but its close enough#btw ut was like demigirl -> genderfluid -> nonbinary -> agender -> i dont like any labels anymore but i like agender still#n obv trans i looooveeeee being trans my god
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My friend: I can't think while I'm at work
Me, at work, earlier that day: word for word writing a fic In my head
#not a happy one either#out here in the pharmacy aisles thinking about comas#(old news)#but it was like Elsie calling her mom and her mom asking how everyone was#namely how Elsie (heart failure) and Finch (fetus whos host is going into heart failure) are doing#and Elsie says that shes been having contractions but shes hiding them from her doctors#(even though she thinks its Braxton hicks)#and her mom yells at her and asks why she would do that and Elsie says she doesn't want to have this baby without her wife#because her wife Atticus has been in a coma for about a week after an aneurysm ruptured + she hemorrhaged and seized#and her mom is about to say like “a life for a life” vibes. when a baby is born someone dies. that's how it works#and Elsie yells at her because a) what the fuck and b) why would god choose to kill her HEALTHY wife after making Elsie so sick?#why wouldn't he take Elsie if he needed a life for a life?#anyway i wrote it when i got home lmao#and now im at work again but this time it was filling waters.#and while i was doing that i was day dreaming about Rainey and Lyria and Remus#it was a nicer daydream (Rainey and Lyria going to get icecream but Rainey has no cash. Remus has 100$)#but i knew Remus had to ve hurt or she wouldn't be there (third wheeling AND She and Lyria don't get along)#so i was trying to figure out the timeline and decided on when she tried to kill herself so Rainey is watching her#and all I thiught was: (annoyed) i promsie not to kill myself in the next half an hour 😒#(while they run to town to get icecream together and she's left at home)#james is rambling again#ocs#rambling#thoughts#writer#writing#original character
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Pushed the queer slider to full today
#Got new makeup brushes and had to try em out immediately#Also i think masc clothes full face of makeup is funny#I should do this more often#Also listening to studio killers always reminds me of the girl named jenny (spelled differently tho) that i had a crush on for like a year#I made a total fool of myself but it was fun lol
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Recent game related things .. hrmm...
#I do like the inconsistency of the first map. that is actually something older but that I re-found and added to my Game Reference stuff#so that when characters reference where they're from I can be accurate. I like that the whole map is kind of shifted up that way. Where the#actual south part doesnt even count as the south since its Too Far and Scary lol. and if you say you're from 'the north' thats basically#like.. one single continent. Though some people do make distinctions like 'north midlands' or etc. still. I like the ways that common#language isn't always precisely accurate like that. and thinking about why a culture would classify things a certain way or etc. etc.#The inventory page is so funny to me because it's literally just the BASe like.. sample layout just to make sure it works properly with 0#actual design into it. just colored rectangles thrown together in MS paint. but what if I like... left it like that.. what if all the other#art in the game and UI is like stylized and fully matching BUT the inventory/journal/etc. screens I just left as plain colored blocks#with random misalignments and black spots and etc gjhbhjj... It looks unfinished in a Funny Contrast way to me.#the wordcounts are just like... my past few days of writing.. I am still not getting 2200 words a day done or whatever I needed. I'm lucky#if it's even half of that .... tee hee.. :3c I do also keep having appointments and other things going on but..grrr...#The full map of the area is probably not necessary but I thought it would be more realisitc if people were able to reference things. Like i#you have people all living in a city area probably at some point someone might mention a neighboring city or some landmark nearby#or etc. so I thought having at least the basic names of what's around for reference would be sensible. A side character mentioning#'oh yeah I don't live here full time I just travel from Marisene sometimes' or whatever makes it seem more like a Real#Fleshed Out Place than people just making vague references like 'the river' or 'i come from a city nearby' or 'i went to a place somewhere#around here' or 'the other city' or etc. lol.. Especially since global cities/global areas are weird as they operate almost like an#independent country within their walls. so it's like a micro country inside of another country usually. just plopped down in some agreed#upon plot of land that won't be too disruptive to the main country around it. That could get very complex depending on the cultural and#political backdrop of where they're placed (though obviously they try to choose the 'easiest' areas possible for it). Asen is a very mild#country without much history of conflict or anything so it's fine. But still interesting that Sifeh and the entire branched out global area#border three other districts of Asen. Which means like 3 times the local representitives you'l have to negotiate with for some major change#or anything. I think one of the 'random characters you can find around the world and have short discussions with just to make the area#feel more populated and real even though theyre not actual important npcs' is going to be a guy who actually serves on the council that#handles running the global areas and he's like.. some perpetually exhausted middle aged elf running around with a clipboard or whatever#ANYWAY...... hrgh... still trying to write when I can....#I WISH so badly that I had the scope for a simple character creation menu and all character interactions would allot for the background#of your player character. And also to have a simple day night cycle where places in the world you explore/people you talk to during the day#have new options or dialogue at night.. BUT alas... I already am so behind on everything as is lol.. aughhh... T o T#As the worlds number one Needless Detail And Complexity Enjoyer i must dilligently prevent myself from adding additional complexity
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I know it would literally never happen, but whenever the speculation of who the next James Bond will be comes up, I can only think about how I would sell my soul to get a butch lesbian James Bond 😣
#cause people are always arguing against having a female 007 bcs it would change too much#okay so why not just swap her gender and change nothing else 😌#i realized when writing this post tho that my one oc is literally my concept for a lesbian james bond 😭#butch lesbian womanizer who wears suits all the time and smokes/drinks too much and loves money and weapons#i think about this every once in a while and i want it so badly but it will literally never happen#please she would be so masc and cool and sexy#i dont know if i necessary like the idea of making a new chara to be 007#but like....female James Bond but nothing else changes 👀#im trying to fall asleep and i can only envision various scenes from casino royale but w my version of james bond#pls she could be jamie bond!!!#sorry this is completely random and probably nonsensical but it haunts me so often#every time i rewatch casino royale im like man...espionage movies are cool! and then start fantasizing about female james bond#the names bond. jamie bond.#maybe i will draw it sometime#just not sure how id design her bcs as i said my brain cant help but be a bit stuck on my oc that fits pretty well#but seriously. they wouldnt even have to change anything!#like they have all the jokey pun names for women...guess what. even more opportunities#but like gahhhhhh i think about a masc woman in the bond movies ive watched and im like wow i would enjoy this movie substantially more!#like the shower scene in casino royale........#i cant even rly bring myself to watch bond movies older than the daniel craig ones bcs the objectification and misogyny bothers me too much#but imagining a masc woman in their place 👀 i am on board!#imagining her with bond girls 😳😳😳😳😳#sorry again: super random but it is late please forgive me#catie.rambling.txt
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