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darkdevasofdestruction · 3 years ago

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My Little Physician Empress ~ Yin Zhen x Reader

Just a story in which reader, a regular girl, was allowed since very young to aid her father in being a Royal Physician, and helped the princes through the years without asking for anything in return.

Since ancient times, views on physician women have been distorted times and times again - Sometimes they are shamans, other times they are witches, and oftentimes, they simply don't deserve to live, no matter how many lives they save, or how capable they are.

Even now, in Qing dynasty, there is stigma, and all the physicians in the palace are men.

But that will soon change when, one day, a Physician from outside the palace is able to come up with a proper cure for the plague that was rampaging the people and somehow, found its way inside the palace too, and he was rewarded handsomely - He was awarded a wish granted - Any wish he wanted.

And that was to have his daughter allowed to aid him in his work inside the palace. He explained how his daughter played around with concoctions one day, and somehow gave him the brilliant idea for a revolutionary cure, and with this story, the Emperor indulged the old man and got them both in the palace.

They didn't earn a lot of money, but it was enough for them to dress appropriately with living in the palace. The girl never got any kind of accessory, so she mainly held her hand in a simply braid, occasionally put some flowers in it, and was ready to go on with the day in aiding her father.

But she was always a curious little girl, and very often, she went outside to play and discover every nook and cranny around the palace - Which is when she met the fourth prince - Not that she knew, though.

She held some struggling and splashing in the water one night, and saw a eunuch running away. Upon investigating, she saw a child who wasn't trashing around anymore, and he was about her age. She jumped in the lotus pond, getting him to the surface and, after opening his jacket, she pressed on his chest between his lungs and leaned in to give him the kiss of life.

As expected, the boy then jolted in a sitting position and started coughing, before falling into her arms once again, exhausted.

"How are you feeling?" she asked in a gentle voice, her hand on his cheek to get his attention. "Fine...I'm better now...Whoever pushed me is going to get killed, I'll make sure of that." the boy was angry, and rightfully so. He tried to get up, but was still wobbly, so the girl helped him go back to his room, letting him lean on her side. "It was an Eunuch. I saw him running away from the pond after you got underneath the water." she told him what she saw. "Now that I think about it...Who are you? I've never seen you around the palace, have I?" he asked suspiciously. "Don't be suspicious of the person who saved your life. I am Y/N, daughter of the Royal Physician who came up with the cure for the plague." she explained in a gentle manner. "Figures. Then, that means you know who I am, don't you?" he scoffed lightly. "Uh...No, not really. Should I?" she tilted her head a little to the side. "You don't? They why did you save me?" he asked, even more confused now. "...Because you were dying?! Did you notice that? Was I supposed to let you die there? Tell me, I can quite literally drag you back to the pond and throw you back if you want? I will ask for you name first and only then rescue you." she scolded him in disbelief at his ungratefulness. "No. No, you're right. Anyway, thanks for saving me. How did you save me? I know I blacked out as some point, right?" he said, and with all the nonchalance in the world, she answered. "I gave you the kiss of life." this answer made the boy stop in his tracks, yelling at her. "YOU DID WHAT?! That’s... That’s improper! I will have you flogged and caned for that! You’re a woman, and I’m a man, and we are both unmarried, it’s... It’s...!" he gaped at her in horror. "You do realise you stopped breathing, don't you? And if I didn't get you breathing again, your heart would have stopped. If your heart stopped pumping, blood wouldn't have gone everywhere in your body, to all your organs, therefor you would have gotten a total system failure in less than 10 to 15 minutes. That means, for idiots like you who don't value life, that you would have died if I didn't do that." she rolled her eyes at him, dragging him inside the pavilion, where lots of eunuchs and maids fussed over him. "Su Peisheng! Reward this maid handsomely, she saved my life." the little boy said - He must be one of the princes, the girl thought, amused. "No thanks. I saved your life, that's all. You yelled enough at me, I don't want anything from you anymore. Next time I try to save your life, remind me to ask you your name first and only then ask consent to save your life." the girl rolled her eyes at him, thinking him hypocritical, and turned around to go home, only to have the boy catch her wrist immediately. "Then, ask for anything, and I'll give it to you." he said, very seriously. "Fine. I'm not a maid, I'm a Female Physician, therefor you must address me properly from now on. Physician Y/N. Got it?" her voice was authoritarian, but she didn't inspire malice or evil, and it quite amused the young prince. "Very well. Until we meet again, Physician Y/N." and thus, making her smile softly, she left the place with a nod of Goodnight. "Su Peisheng." the boy called out his eunuch one again. "What do Physician girls like?" he asked, almost innocently. "Forgive me, Your Highness, this one does not know, for there have not been female physicians in the palace before. However, girls usually like feminine things like clothes and accessories. Miss Y/N wasn't wearing any, as far as I saw." the eunuch provided the young prince with the information. "I see...Very well. Tomorrow, you will send some red agate earrings to her. Make sure you give them to her directly." the boy ordered his slave, who nodded in agreement.

However, the next day, the eunuch returned as he left - With the gift box in his hands and endless apologies. "Miss Y/N wanted me to inform you never to gift her...To quote her...Useless things. Pardon my rudeness, Your Highness, I am merely telling you her words. She said that expensive earrings won't help her save lives. I tried to convince her, but she threatened to throw them in the pigstry." the eunuch kowtowed to the ground in front of the young prince, only for him to raise him up and chuckle in amusement. "Don't worry, it's fine. I'll just bring them to mother and ask her for advice. This is no ordinary girl I'm dealing with."

And this way, his mother advised him to find rare healing-related books, even more so, from the West, and gift them to her. She immediately accepted them, and Yin Zhen often found the mysterious girl reading by the wisteria tree, unbothered by anything and anyone.

The 4th prince often looked at her and got reminded of his annoying 3rd prince brother, but at least she wasn't so obsolete and dissolute like him.

He would find her occasionally swinging in the Apricot garden, where it was mostly quiet and very few people visited, and even so, he would often hear her practicing flute-playing.

The next Prince she met was, to Yin Zhen’s entertainment and slight jealousy, was the 3rd Prince, Yin Zhi, as she was delivering medicine to one of the Imperial Concubines, the foreign melodious tune of an instrument she has never heard of before, and as expected, her curiosity led her directly to this Prince who seemed just a bit older than her, standing under a tree and practicing said instrument.

The girl could only stay there in awe, the wonderful melody taking over her senses and imagination, only for a sudden screech to destroy everything, making her yelp in shock. The jerk of a Prince made the bow unceremoniously scratch the violin’s strings, making a God Forsaken ear-bleeding noise.

“Hope you enjoyed that as well, stalker.” the prince sneered at her, but to his surprise, she merely chuckled. “Wonderful how such an elegant instrument can create hellish sounds in the wrong hands. Only someone hardworking, dedicated and with grace can play this instrument. You are a Prince, aren’t you?” she leaned on the tree, a knowing smirk on her face. “If you figured that out, then why aren’t you bowing to the ground right now?” the aggressiveness displayed in his voice and words seemed to contradict his actions as he sat down at the table, where neatly drawn blueprints and parts to be engineered with. “I can accept the consequences of my mistake and I even won’t protest, should you want to take my head off, should you be so kind as to explain to me the process of building this wonderful instrument. It is a Western one, is it not?” she sat down next to him, analysing the papers carefully. “What would some lowly maid like you know of Western technology? Why should I waste my time on you?” he scoffed, looking down at her. “Do you not find sharing such groundbreaking information with someone genuinely interested to be rather... Enlightening? From my short stay here, in the Palace, I have found out that the 2nd Prince is rather dissolute and promiscuous, but at the same time, a very intelligent and lonely person who cannot interact with others. From the looks of it, you simply have completely different aspirations and interests, while your brothers are solely interested in this Game of Thrones, and you cannot possibly have a proper, intellectual conversation with them. Correct me if I’m wrong, however, and I will leave you alone.” that vixen-like smile on her face made the Prince want to strangle her and wipe that stupid smirk off her face for daring to figure him out so well. At the same time, however, he hasn’t felt so challenged in his life and frankly, this little maid could prove to be more interesting than expected. “I’ll have you thrown to the Office of Punishments should you dare bore me at any time after the cheeky, daring stunt you pulled. Now, you better be paying attention to every word I am about to tell you, I hate repeating myself for dumb airheads, understood?” his voice was serious and mature, especially for someone his age, but that only meant that Y/N had what to learn from him, and for that, she was grateful. “I swear to do my best and keep up with your intellectual explanations, so please, do be patient with me for I am very grateful for the time you are taking out of your schedule to teach me.” she bowed her head to him, and thus, with a soft huff, the Prince began explaining the to the girl about the peculiar instrument in his hands. “This is called a Violin, and this is called a Bow. As you guessed, this instrument was created in the West, from a country called “Italy”, in an unknown date from the 16th century. Although paintings from back then show the Violin had 3 strings, now, as you can see, it has four...” and so, he continued by showing her the component parts of the violin both on the instrument, and on the blueprints, only for him to, in the end, gift her the ink drawing he made of the original blueprint, as a way for her to promise to continue studying on her own too.

There were many other Royal Princes and Princesses, but many weren’t as interesting as the 3rd and 4th Prince who, quite frankly, were a force to be reckoned with. While Yin Zhi would teach her how to build a clock, or show her interesting literature, Yin Zhen would be adamant in taking her horse-riding and, surprisingly, he was rather interested in her healing knowledge, thus why, he would always acquire the rarest books from all over the world and, instead of giving them for the Physicians to learn, he would gift them to this lovely maid whose company he loved so much.

Time passed quickly, they got older, both Y/N and her father rapidly advanced in their ranks thanks to their revolutionary treatments that cured every illness, and the princes all grew into fine men - Which meant that the true Game of Thrones began for everyone in the palace, not just them.

The first to go down was the Crown Prince who, as Y/N discovered, had ricing powder put in his food. “It is quite simple, and unfortunately, incredibly deadly, even in small doses. All you need is the beans from a castor oil plant, you make them into powder and... You’ve got one of the deadliest poisons there are. My only guess is, it would have to have been someone from the Imperial Kitchens who could do such a feat because, if the powder was put on the dishes after being prepared, it would still be mildly visible, whereas if it was put in a big pot, it would get homogenized and thus, leave no visible or taste trace.” Y/N explained in front of the Emperor, standing poised and ignoring all the other many eyes staring at her. “I have heard many times of ricin, but none was ever brave enough to dare bring it into the Palace, especially after I have forbidden any dish to be made with Castor oil! For the poison to act, one administration was enough?” Emperor Kangxi asked, rage and sorrow evident on his face. “No, Your Majesty. I imagine that the culprit played it smart and only added small doses of ricin powder in His Highness’s food, but regularly. I have read the Medical Files from the Bureau of Imperial Physicians and I have noticed that His Highness was complaining of an upset stomach, difficulty in breathing, occasional coughs that turned bloody over time and spiking fevers - Again, all over a rather long period of time. If the culprit were to use a large dose of powder, the Princes wouldn’t have been able to finish all the food from the plate and, therefor, the Ricin would have been tenfold easier to detect. In this situation, however, small doses meant nobody would believe His Highness got sick because of the food, because of his healthy appetite, hence why he was treated symptomatically for unrelated, yet very possible diseases.” the Female Physician went on further with the deduction, which angered the Emperor even further. “These jackals won’t even allow my sons to eat anymore! From now on, every meal will have to be tested before any person from the Royal Family eats it. Find the culprit immediately!” the Emperor thundered, his voice echoing throughout the Hall of Mental Cultivation. “Your Majesty, if I may... Ricin cannot be detected with silver, and if it is put in hot meals, it wouldn’t be traceable anymore. There is no way to detect it. While ingesting the poison is admittedly the least toxic pathway into the human body... Even with a small dose, it starts to cause internal damage in as little as 6 hours after ingesting. In regular doses, death can occur in a maximum of 3 days, which means, to my understanding, that His Highness may have started being poisoned a week ago at most.” the girl spoke confidently, but also with a tint of reticence. “Are you trying to tell me there is no way of detecting the culprit?!” the man rose up from his throne, pointing his finger at her. “On the contrary. With the grace and cooperation of His Highness, the 4th Prince, a small pouch of herbs mixed with ricin powder was found in the pockets of one of the eunuchs helping at the Imperial Kitchens. That is to say... If the truth comes out that this eunuch was the one who put the powder in the food... We need a testimony and evidence that would point towards the mastermind behind this operation of regicide. His Highness was the Crown Prince and a mere eunuch wouldn’t be affected in any way by the future Emperor, however that may be, but someone who could benefit in having another candidate on the throne would get actively involved in working from the shadows...” she didn’t dare move her sight from the furious Eye of Heaven, no matter how much she wanted to avert her eyes and look at the Prince, begging to be taken away from there because the tension was crushing. “Yin Zhen!” calling out his son’s name, he stepped next to Y/N, bowed and knelt next to her. “The two of you did good in solving this crime. From now on, the two of you shall continue unmasking the truth of this mystery and bring justice to my son, the Crown Prince, got it? No matter who it is, I will have them punished!” the Emperor’s last command was abided by the two of them bowing to the ground and calling out their responses - “Yes, Your Majesty!”

And thus, the Hall of Mental Cultivation was cleared and the two people in cause walked away, looking at each other and letting out sighs of relief.

“Let’s not do that again.” the girl managed to mutter, putting the back of her hand to her forehead, exhausted from the trial. “You’re tired just from this? I was expecting a lot worse.” the Prince smirked at her, seeing her roll her eyes. “Yes, well, the Royal Family business isn’t for me. I’m fine just healing people and studying. It’s actually relaxing, you should try that once in a while.” she nudged him softly, only for him to stop in his tracks. “What if I tell you I want you to join the Royal Family.” he crossed his arms, looking at her with a playful expression. “I’d tell you... You’ve lost your mind... And that nobody would agree to something like this. I suppose I should remind you that... I am a commoner and you are, and I hope it doesn’t come as a shock to you, not only the Prince but... A very strong candidate at being the next Crown Prince.” she shook her head in amusement. “Father wants to promote you to Noble Lady Shuyu.” he refuted immediately. “Having ‘Noble’ in a title does not make you of noble birth. Don’t make it difficult for either of us, Yin Zhen. Not to mention, you would be doing me a great disservice by marrying me.” she explained, cautiously looking around for any prying eyes. “How is giving you a life of unlimited luxuries means I’m doing you a disservice?” he stepped closer to her, holding her hands to his chest. “I am jealous, first of all. Even if I am to be your main wife, which, by the way, is impossible, you would still need to have a huge amount of concubines because that is the life of a Duke and/or the Emperor, should you actually get the title. That doesn’t exactly sit amazingly well with me to begin with... And that also means I’m not exactly the most Virtuous, Selfless and King Empress that everyone would want the woman holding this title to be. That and... If I marry into the Royal Family, I won’t be able to continue my Physician work, and I will only have to stay inside a stupid, but nicely furnished palace, with tons of servants to do whatever the hell I want and many more other women who will be jealous of me and will plot to kill me. Ah, yes and the unfortunate case of you getting bored of me for a younger girl, when we get older, but that’s just that.” she got her hands back, and smiled at him sarcastically. “You’re an impossible woman, you know that, right? If you do, you should also know that, for you, I would give up the title of Crown Prince. If I am a duke, then it shouldn’t matter if I marry one woman alone, and whether or not she continues her hobby of healing people in a palace far away from the Forbidden City, where there would be no envious eye that would wish you harm. How does that sound.” his words were soft and gentle, and with every sweet word, he could see the girl’s defenses lowering down, bit by bit. “You would be an idiot to turn down the title you worked so hard for, especially after this perfect opportunity has just knocked on our doors. Don’t be stupid, Yin Zhen. I can still love you even if we are not legally married. Listen, we both know the 2nd Prince is the culprit, right? Him and his lousy mother of his, who wants to become the next Empress. I have a plan to take both of them down, and if we succeed, your place on the throne is automatically... But we have to be very smart about it. Very, very smart. Are you in?” she turned to look at him, as he stepped very close to her, cupping her face and kissing her forehead. “Since when have you become so scheming?” he asked, proud and amused. “Since I have a reason to win.” she winked at him, putting her hand on his face so he could lean down and hear the plot.

Months passed, and Y/N has been as busy as ever taking care of the women of the Harem since Imperial Concubine Yu was pregnant and the Empress, the late 1st Prince’s mother, protectively took her under her wing, while the sole Female Physician was to take care of her.

Thankfully, every plan was set in motion and time flew so fast, it was unexpected that 9 months already passed and the Concubine was ready to give birth already. Unfortunately for her, the Empress, along with the Empress Dowager, were away to pray for Buddha, and thus, the Noble Consort was now the most powerful woman in the Harem, and able to take decisions in place of the Empress.

As Y/N helped the Concubine give birth, to her shock, she realised the baby was very much yellow - But not only the little prince’s body, but his eyes as well. It caused a lot of shock and stir ups... But the unfortunate timing of arrival of the Noble Consort was enough to grab the baby from the midwife’s hands and toss is carelessly to the eunuchs who was digging a hole in the backyard of the Empress’s palace, to bury the infant alive, while the poor Concubine mother was frantically trying to escape the grasp of the eunuch keeping her away so she could rescue her baby.

But it was in vain, and no matter how much the mother begged, the Consort was absolutely ruthless. She was digging into the dirt, trying to rescue her child, but all of the Empress’s maids were uselessly staring, frightened and very much afraid for their lives.

Smartly, Y/N went inside the Empress’s palace and took her seal - As she ran back to the scene of the crime and yelled at the Consort to end this mess.

“The golden seal of the Empress is here! Enough of this mess! Yes, the infant has golden eyes, but the truth is, this might just be a medical problem, and we cannot know for sure if it is not investigated! Under such context, we must wait for Her Highness the Empress to make the decision! Noble Consort, I have begged you again and again to cease your actions, but I have no other way of stopping you. Seeing this golden seal is like seeing Her Highness the Empress herself, whether the 17th Prince is indeed sick, and how Noble Lady Yu should be dealt with, we must all wait for the decree of Her Highness the Empress. Any other person isn’t allowed to take any arbitrary action!” as Y/N glared angrily at the Noble Consort, showing off the Imperial Box that was hiding the Empress’s seal, the well known voice of the Eunuch announcing his Majesty’s arrival resounded through the place. “What happened?” the Emperor asked, followed by the 2nd, 3rd and 4th Princes. “Greeting His Majesty. Your Majesty, the little prince was born with golden pupils. His whole body is yellow. The Empress isn’t in the palace. I’m enforcing the palace law on her behalf. I was just about to punish the mother and child, but who knew that the servants of Changchun Palace would publicly stop me.” the Consort threw a shady look at the Physician. “Your Majesty, I dare not hinder Noble Consort in implementing the law. It’s just that Her Highness the Empress repeatedly instructed that we all must protect Noble Lady Yu. Before the Empress returns, no one is allowed to make punishments without permission. Moreover, whether the little prince is indeed sick or not, as a Physician, I must advise everyone not to make conclusions based solely on what we see. There was no time for me, or any of my colleagues to check the health of the little prince, therefor, this may all just be an unfortunate misunderstanding, not a bad omen. The action of Her Highness the Noble Consort is too hasty.” Y/N confidently explained the problem for the Emperor. “You wench, how dare you speak ill of my mother?!” the new Crown Prince, the 2nd Prince, rushed forward to slap the girl’s face angrily. “Father, there is nothing impossible in this vast world. I, who has been studying various Western practices would know that what we may consider impossible or strange, other would deem normal, and vice versa. It may just be as the Female Physician says - That the 17th Prince’s golden pupils are just because of some strange illness that, if treated, will disappear.” the 3rd Prince stuck up to the girl. “Your Majesty, my child surely has some weird illness! I beg you, Your Majesty, I beg you to immediately have him treated.” the mother’s pleas melted the Emperor’s heart. “Li Yu.” the Emperor called out his head eunuch. “Call the Imperial Medical College for a consult. And find out if Physician Y/N’s father returned from his trip abroad.” and thus, the Emperor called everyone in cause once again to the Hall of Mental Cultivation to hear the testimonies and make a decision.

Two elder doctors came inside the Palace and reported their explanations to the Emperor, while the poor, desperate mother was thrown out of the room so she could calm down and stop shrieking.

“I’ve seen a lot of babies with yellowish faces, but I’ve never seen a case where the pupils are also golden yellow.” one of them explained. “Is there no way to cure him?” Yin Zhen asked the Physicians. “This is not an illness, so there is no way to cure it. There is no such thing as a child with golden pupils in this world.” Physician Zhang answered adamant. “I know Your Majesty is unwilling to do it, but if we don’t resolve it today, if the sun rises tomorrow, the news that a Noble Lady of the Forbidden Palace has given birth to a child with golden pupils will spread to the empire as if it has wings. I fear that people will be in panic and it will be hard to handle the consequences. Hence, I hardened my heart, all for Your Majesty’s sake, for the Qing Empire. Even if everyone will blame me for it, I won’t mind. Your Majesty, why are you still hesitating?” the dead silence that followed was, as if on cue, disturbed by the baby’s cries. With a hurried smile, Y/N hurried to take the baby in her arms and kneel in front of the Emperor. “Your Majesty, look! Although the little prince is yellowish all over, his cry is very strong! Your Majesty, he is a live person and he is connected with Your Majesty by blood! How could you kill him so easily?!” Y/N spoke quickly, hoping to appeal to the Emperor’s soft heart strings. “Isn’t the Empress to kind? Indulging a mere physician to act like this? When your masters are talking, how could you interfere?!” the Noble Consort harshly reprimanded the girl. “I recognize my mistakes, however, as a Physician myself, while it is true that I do not know everything in this world, I can also say that I had my fair share of travelling, albeit, not as much as my father. The yellowing of the body may as well be jaundice, especially if we take into account the severity of the colour. In some texts that I have read, it is said that, on rare occasions, if the jaundice is severe, it may even affect the colour of the eyes. Your Majesty, I have no reason to work against anyone. My work is to heal people, which is why I am fighting so hard to save this child - Not only because he is Your Majesty’s child, but because all lives must be treasured and treated with great importance. If this child is sick and I can cure him, than I have done my purpose in life.” the girl gritted her teeth, trying to control herself. “Father, can’t you see you’ve been indulging this wench for far too long? You give a common wench a helping hand, and now look how unruly and disruptive she is! Speaking back to her superiors! Shameless!” the Crown Prince growled at the girl who was incriminating his mother. “Father, if I may - As Physician Y/N said, all of our Imperial Physicians have been working only inside the palace for so long. If a strange illness occurs, they may have no knowledge of that, perhaps even outside of the usual textbooks. If I understood correctly, Y/N father has returned to the palace just yesterday, perhaps his opinion will be of use, should this simply be a case of misdiagnosis.” the 4th Prince quickly defended her. “Nonesense! Could a distinguished Imperial Physician of the Imperial Medical College have less knowledge and experience than a common maid like you with no proper training or education?” Physician Zhang scoffed at her. “Your Majesty, although I’m well-versed in children’s illnesses, there is nothing truly impossible in this vast world. Maybe there are still a lot of strange illnesses that I’ve never had a chance to be in contact with. Many Physicians tried to get rid of the plague, but only Physician Liyue was able to do it, a common man from outside the Palace with no former education. Just because we haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean it can’t exist.” Physician Yang spoke modestly. “Physician Yang, are you old and muddled?! A matter that you yourself isn’t sure of, you dare report it to His Majesty?! If a problem indeed occurs, a natural calamity or a human-made disaster, can you bare the crime? No. Your Majesty, this concerns the fortune of the Qing Empire. You mustn’t be soft-hearted.” the Noble Consort quickly responded as harsh as ever.

However, just as she said that, Y/N’s father clumsily stepped inside the room and knelt next to his daughter, greeting the Emperor who, in haste, told him to check the child.

In doing so, he merely smiled and said the same diagnosis as his daughter did.

Jaundice.

“Can’t be. Not like I haven’t seen jaundice in children before.” Physician Zhang refuted immediately. “That’s because you are lacking in knowledge. Your Majesty, this jaundice, even if it’s not treated, the little prince would recover within 7 days. This illness is pathological and related to the bile of the expectant mother. It is usually connected with the pregnant mother having too much accumulation of bile.” the father explained. “Your daughter gave the same diagnosis.” the Emperor muttered. “Can it be cured?” “Your Majesty, don’t worry. If I prescribe a formula to reduce the jaundice, in less than 2 weeks, the 17th prince’s jaundice will subside.” and thus, the Emperor ordered to have the child be treated with care...And the Consort changed sides as much as her face changed instantly.

And thus, the Emperor forgave the Consort and had this matter be banned from being talked of...Until the 4th Prince spoke up.

“Father, before we leave, I had urgent news to speak to you about, and they concern the Noble Consort.” the Prince left his father’s side and stepped in front of him, next to Y/N. “Is this about your brother’s death?” the Emperor’s face became grim as soon as he saw the nod of the prince’s head. “Very well, speak.” “Su Peisheng, have the body brought in.” the Prince ordered. “Noble Consort, you are not afraid when you kill a man, so why are you afraid when you see a corpse?” the Prince asked, simply, as he took off the sheet to show off the man’s face. “Do you not recognise him? Or perhaps, your son does?” the Prince interrogated the indignant woman. “What are your implications, Yin Zhen?!” the Crown Prince stomped in front of his brother. “Your Mayesty, this is the Mongolian chef from the Imperial Kitchen. While he is also the one who cooked food for Noble Lady Yu, he is also the one who prepared the daily Mongolian treat that the 1st Prince enjoyed so much.” Yin Zhen spoke up confidently. “That’s right... Your Majesty, I have taken care of Noble Lady Yu since the beginning of her pregnancy, and pretty early on, Noble Lady Yu was gifted Mongolian scones from her hometown. She loved them so much, I imagine she ate quite a lot. She said she had no idea there was a Mongolian chef in the Palace and she was incredibly happy to see that she could eat her home food after so long. She would eat three pieces every day - At least that’s what I saw, if she ate more when I wasn’t supervising her, I cannot know.” the Physician girl explained as she stood up, tall and ready for action. “Your Majesty, I had these scones be brought here as well.” the 4th Prince spoke and a scone was given to Y/N’s father. “Do you know what they are made of?” her father asked as he took a bite. “I believe milk was added to the dough, or ghee to the skin. She also ate assorted confectionary to replace staple food.” Y/N told her father. “Yes, I understand. Your Majesty, the child contracted jaundice mostly because the mother’s body is moist and hot, so the bile gets accumulated. I usually advise pregnant women to watch their food intake and not to eat too much sweet, hot and unpleasant smelling food, to prevent damage to the spleen and stomach.” Physician Liyue explained. “Ah, I understand. I didn’t give it much thought because Mongolian women are used to eating these things, but since she’s been away from home for so long, her body adjusted to our food, so naturally, getting a large intake of food from home again made her body react as ours would.” Y/N nodded in understanding. “Very well, so we have found out the truth behind the Prince’s illness. Now, Yin Zhen, tell me about the body. Who killed him.” the Emperor urged his son to speak. “We just have to look at who wanted the 17th Prince buried alive the most and we will know. And on who benefits the most in having our 1st Prince brother killed.” Yin Zhen explained. “That man is dead, brother. On what bases are you accusing me and my mother?” the Crown Prince sneered at his younger brother. “Your Majesty, the 17th Prince was just born, he is just an innocent child. Why would anyone want him dead? Unless... Someone didn’t want him to be born safely to begin with. Carefully thinking about it, since Noble Lady Yu got pregnant, Her Highness the Noble Consort has repeatedly made things difficult for her. First, using her dog to cause her trauma at the Imperial Gardens, and then repeating the same feat at the Lychee banquet organized by Her Highness the Empress. When Noble Lady Yu gave birth, the first person to charge in Changchun Palace was also Her Highness the Noble Consort. She insisted on having the 17th Prince buried alive. To say that this matter has nothing to do with her, it’s really hard for anyone to believe that.” Y/N accused the Consort, only to be, once again, slapped by her son. “Father, this is a conspiracy, don’t listen to the lies of this servant! It is a plot made to frame me and my Royal Mother!” the Crown Prince desperately tried to defend himself. “Father, if this is a conspiracy, why then everyone else asked for a Physician to be brought and inspect the 17th Prince’s condition, while only the Noble Consort alone was so adamant in killing the child?” Yin Zhen struck again. “Not to mention, even when Noble Lady Yu went up to her to stop her, she didn’t spare her. Instead, she ordered her to be killed along with the child. If she truly had no intention to kill, why was she so hasty and resolute?” Y/N chimed in quickly. “Your Majesty, you cannot sentence myself or the Crown Prince merely just based on a corpse and some speculations! This person is dead, who knew if someone else forced him to kill himself as to frame me and my son?” the Noble Consort shrieked desperately. “Father, when I sent my men to the Imperial Kitchen, they discovered one letter written in blood and 20 taels of gold. It shows that this person had sensed that something bad would happen to him. Father, look for yourself at the evidence left behind.” and thus, the eunuch brought forth a messy letter and the Prince showed it to the Emperor -” 'The person who will silence me will surely be the Crown Prince’ - And with this, father, we found a small pouch of Ricin laying on top of it. It means that the culprits behind these two crimes that we thought unrelated are, in fact, mother and son.” the 4th prince explained, picking up the pouch as well. “Wh-What?! What is this madness? I would ever use such a stupid servant to kill my brother!” the Crown Prince yelled out, but it was in vain. “Not only that, testimonies from the Office of Punishments came out. The men from the Imperial Kitchens that were involved in either of these crimes, all ratted out their mastermind and all point out towards either Noble Consort or the 2nd Prince.” the Prince continued, and the atmosphere in the place was harder and harder to bear. “Your Majesty! Your Majesty, it really wasn’t like this! I really didn’t know! I’m being framed! Framed! Me... My son...! We’re being framed!” the Consort tried to beg, plea and weep, but nothing worked. “ENOUGH! I don’t want to hear any more explanations from you. You killed my beloved son out of greed, just for you to become the next Crown Prince. I have overlooked so many of your mistakes and evidence of a possible coup... You were already the Crown Prince, what more did you want?! Shameless, both of you! Men, take them away! Both of them shall be thrown into the Cold Palace until further notice!” the Emperor’s rage seethed fear into everyone, as they bid his order, uncaring of the two’s desperate pleas. “Yin Zhen, you did well. Although a tragic truth, I was expecting this. As the matter of a new Crown Prince has to be instilled, I will make the final Imperial Edict tomorrow... However, you must know that you are the chosen one. I only wish that you do not act as carelessly and shamelessly as your brother did.” the Emperor sighed, feeling older than ever. “Father...I...! Your Majesty, you are magnanimous, I do not know how to thank you.” the Prince kowotowed to the ground, only to hear a weak chuckle from his father. “Rise, no need for that. Physician Y/N, you and your father once again saved us with your vast knowledge and expertise. I shall grant you both the title of Noble Officials of the Third Rank and shall enjoy all the benefits and luxuries that come with it. You have served me well and I am sure you will continue to do so in the future as well. You are all dismissed.” the Emperor said as everyone bowed to greet him off. “That worked better than expected.” the Prince smirked, looking down at the stunned girl. “Am I a genius or what?” she spoke breathlessly before starting to laugh in glee. “Dear, I have no idea what silly thing you plotted while I was away, but... I have to say, you pulled quite the stunt.” her father patted her hair lovingly. “I suppose once in a while I do like to have some dangerous fun, huh? Good thing I have two Royal Helping Hands to take me out of the water should I suddenly forget to swim.” she grinned carelessly, only for her father to shake her head, smiling. “Just be careful. Although... I am sure you will be protected. I will take my leave now.” and with a small bow, the left the three alone. “Was any of that true?” the 3rd Prince eyed the two carefully. “Well... She really did want to kill the baby by burying it alive. The rest was... Induced or fabricated. But nobody has to know, right? It’s all our dirty little secret.” the girl winked at him and, taking the 4th Prince’s hand, pulled him outside. “How does it feel being a Noble Lady?” the Prince chuckled, pulling her close to his chest and smiling warmly. “None the wiser.” she snorted in amusement. “Honestly, Yin Zhen, it’s just a title. It’s not like anyone is going to care in any way. I am still going to be just a common girl with no right to stay anywhere close to you. Besides, you know as well as I do that, in the very small chance that the Emperor does accidentally impregnate a common maid and he wives her, she is still going to be treated poorly and will be bound to the Back Palace alone. You know as well as I do that nobody is allowed to enter the Back Palace so freely. I don’t want any of that.” she spoke, cautiously. “If I am going to be the Emperor, that mean the whole China is going to be mine. It doesn’t matter which woman is my Empress, as long as all the other concubines are there for political reasons. All they care about is wealth, fame and luxuries for their families, but none care for me the way you do. You saved me from drowning when you had no idea who I was, and you rejected any gift I gave you that wasn’t useful for your education. I know you don’t want to be pretentious or have me think that you love me solely for luxuries but that does not mean I should be forbidden from pampering you whenever I feel like it. Just accept it. I do not want any other woman to stay in the Empress’s throne besides me other than you. Don’t deny me that, Y/N.” he cupped her face, making her look up at him, his eyes tender and filled with love. “I can’t do it, Yin Zhen. I can’t. I can’t let you damage your image. You will be the best Emperor China’s ever had, you cannot have a common peasant woman be the Mother of the Nation. You will found a woman to genuinely love you and care for you as much as I do, and she will be worthy of you, and of noble blood... And you will forget about me, and I will no longer inconvenience you. You will be just fine without me, Yin Zhen.” her eyes gleaming, close to tears, as she spoke those painful words, but the prince had none of that. “I will have none of that modesty and selflessness of yours. Keep that to yourself. I am going to be the Emperor. The Eye of Heaven. If I cannot even choose the woman I love to be my Empress, than what’s the point in being diligent in everything else? No matter how hard working you are, at the end of the day, you need to have clarify and peace from your confidante, and for me, that is you. I will hear no more of your excuses, I will solve all of them. In fact, I know just how you can get the ultimate approval from my father, as if everything you’ve done so far over the years hasn’t been enough. In a month, the palace will hold a banquet for the Princess of Western Liang and her Diplomatic Corp. I trust you and you alone to accompany me to this. I know it’s not something you are used to, but I will prepare people to teach you the basic according skills needed. This is all you’re going to need to do, and it will impress Father without a doubt. Please, Y/N. Do it for me. Do it for us. I want to marry you and love you. I want to see you dressed in the most gorgeous Empress dress, to have you by my side at the coronation, to see you smile as I put accessories in your hair. I want to see you happy, and I want to see you by my side every day and every night. Screw the rules, the Emperor can do as he pleases in his private time.” the fire inside Yin Zhen’s heart seemed to reach the girl for she merely smiled and, with an unexpected turn of events, she threw her hands around his neck and pulled him down into a deep kiss. “You better abide your own words, otherwise this Empress is going to drive her new hair pin into your jugular vein and have you assassinated in your sleep.” she muttered with a teasing smirk. “That’s the Y/N I love.” and with that, he pulled her into another, and yet another kiss, with as much fire, love and passion as the previous ones.

For the whole month, the girl, getting used to servants and new luxuries in her home, trained in all the skills Yin Zhen’s servants thought necessary, as to become a proper Noble Lady and, as he would always say, His Empress.

As she was practicing her walking on heels through the palace, her maid, Shi Lian, seemed to be in quite the mood for chatting, telling her that the Western Liang delegation came by just earlier that day and that they are carrying this beautiful, exotic precious unique hairpin. However, unexpectedly, a huge crowd started gathering all around the two and the people started pulling and pushing around aimlessly, creating a huge commotion, making her fall on the street. Thankfully, just as she was about to get crashed by an incoming carriage horse, she felt lifted up.

“Are you injured?” the sweet voice of the man who so heroically rescued her called out, brushing a strand of hair from her face as he protectively held her waist. “Thanks to you, I am. Are you my guardian angel or what? I can’t believe how perfectly you arrived to save me.” she put her hand to her chest, trying to calm down. “I had orders to greet the corp. You silly... It’s great fate that I’m here. I’ll bring you back and send for an Imperial Physician to look after you.” he spoke strictly, only for the curtains of the carriage to be harshly drawn away and a glaring woman to stick her head out of the window. “4th Prince, are you going to leave me and the envoys of Western Liang behind?” she scolded in an evil way. “...Yin Zhen, I am alright, I promise. Shi Lian is with me. You said it yourself, this banquet is important, you cannot leave. Go attend your business. I insist.” the girl looked him deep into his eyes, knowing that they always understood each other from their looks. “Fine. But I will leave a guard behind to escort you home. Take care, Y/N.” and thus, with one last look, he left, as Y/N could only smile at how caring and attentive her hero is.

The silly man, however, as expected, dotted so much on her that he called her own father to care for her.

“Miss, looks like 4th Prince really cares about you! Ah, before I forget, the Matron has a massage for you. This afternoon, the Princess of Western Liang will be visiting the Imperial Palace and you are designated as her retinue.” Shi Lian’s sweet and innocent smile quickly disappeared. “Oh... Great. I have to take care of a bitch. May the Heaven watch over me.” Y/N muttered as she leaned her head on her father’s shoulder. “I heard she is pretty aggressive. She’d bully maidens without excuses. She’s fearsome... Miss, you have to be more careful.” the maid held her master’s hands, looking worried at her. “Don’t worry, I can do it. If this is the last step towards success, not even all the torture Wu Zetian went through can stop me.” Y/N’s voice was low, dark and dangerous. She was like a fearsome lioness ready to strike and maul anyone approaching her cub.

The next afternoon, after dressing is soft and demure looking clothes, Y/N went to show the Princess around the Imperial Palace. The load of exotic jewelry would blow away anyone’s mind, but she wasn’t interested in anything except for the fine craftmanship and the great detail put into everything.

“Ah, it’s you who was saved by 4th Prince yesterday morning outside the palace! To think 4th Prince would ignore me because of a slave girl!” the Princess stared at her condescendingly. “I am but a humble Palace maid. Surely 4th Prince would pay his undivided attention to you, Princess.” the girl bowed respectfully in front of the Princess. “I’d love to see what you’ve got! I heard the Tea ceremony of the Great Qing is extraordinary. Blow away my mind!” the Princess ordered immediately.

Thanking Yin Zhen for having all his servants meticulously teach her every art needed, Y/N proceeded in preparing the Tea Ceremony in such an elegant and graceful manner that the Princess was greatly jealous.

“She’s just a slave girl! In what position is she compared with me? Somebody drive her away, I don’t like her!” however, just as she was throwing her tantrum, Yin Zhen’s eunuch came by to invite Y/N to the banquet.

With a smile on her face, she went back to her home to change in the outfit prepared by the 4th Prince himself, and at dusk, when the glowing sunset brought out Yin Zhen’s most handsome features, she saw him. Tiredness was painted on his face.

“Yin Zhen... You look exhausted. Will you be alright?” she asked softly, cautiously raising her hand to caress his face. “I will be, yes. I am merely worried about you... But seeing you like this lifted all my worries. You are the most beautiful woman in the world.” saying so, he caressed her hand, kissing it. “I have to look my best when standing besides the most handsome man in the world, correct?” she winked cheekily at him, and thus, they went together inside the palace where the banquet was taking place.

There were songs, and dances, and just about anything you could expect - And there, on display, the precious hairpin of Western Liang, the jewel inlaid to it glistening mesmerisingly.

Seeing her confused look, he explained that the envoys are willing to part with the hairpin as a tribute only if they pass several tests. As it was a matter o Great Qing’s reputation, His Majesty couldn’t possibly refuse.

“Three tests and the hairpin is ours? How arrogant. No matter, I’m sure we can beat them.” the girl scoffed, standing besides Yin Zhen’s seat.

The first test, as expected, was Music. Western Liang sends out an envoy adept in music. The test is rather prompt to the palace and no one is prepared for that, so no one responds. Truly, perhaps she was a master at playing Pipa, and she was beautiful too, but that was not to say some intimidation wouldn’t work on the arrogant and prideful Western Liang.

“How do you like this song, Your Highness?” the girl asked, a proud smile on her face. “Very well. Your pipa is superbly crafted.” the Emperor spoke, making the girl frown, indignant. “You only complimented the pipa. Does that mean you don’t like the song?” the girl asked, offended. “That is an understatement. Though I am not an expert, I can tell the song you played was ingenious. However, and pardon me for being blunt, your skill is quite ordinary.” the 4th Prince commented, making Y/N bite her lip to stop herself from chuckling. “This is the Number 1 ancient tune from Western Liang. Few people in Qara-Hoja can play it. The way I play it is considered sound from Heaven.” the girl was angrily gripping her pipa. “Sound from Heaven? That’s an overstatement! I might as well tell you, a song like that, any Palace maid in the Qing Empire can play.” and thus, Y/N walked forward, holding the beautiful wine pot, as if to serve the pipa player. “Any? Any maid at all? Fine, can YOU play it?” the girl asked, volcanic-like. “No really... But the song you played... I’ve been practicing it since childhood.” and thus, Y/N sat down in place of the Western Liang pipa player and played her own tune with perfect dexterity. “If a Palace Maid can play it, why am I here?” and thus, the first win was awared to the Qing Empire.

With a modest bow, Y/N went back by Yin Zhen’s side, and to the trained eye, it was obvious the both of them were radiating with pride for one another.

The second test is about Poetry. Western Liang’s envoy is rather accomplished in literature, however, no one can defeat Yin Zhen’s outstanding talent.

“Y/N, you write for me. You have beautiful calligraphy and can write fast enough. I trust you.” and thus, the two of you sit down at a table in the middle of the banquet - Yin Zhen pours out elegant line after line, as Y/N carefully writes down the love poem that, no doubt was dedicated to her. An hour elapses and neither admits defeat. No one dares to even breathe heavily, fearing they might disturb the two poets.

Despite everyone’s concentration, the ink maid’s hand trembles just enough to pour ink all over Y/N’s paper and clothes. “What’s your problem?!” Y/N gasped from shock at being covered by the black liquid. “Pardon me, I didn’t mean it!” the maid nonchalantly says as she bows to the groud. “I saw it perfectly. That maid didn’t mean it... But the maid that writes has got such a temper!” unable to say anything, Y/N looked at the Prince who allowed her to quickly go change into another outfit, just as beautiful and chosen by him, and return. That Princess was going to be roasted pork very soon. “Careless as that maid is, this one is only too stupid. They both should be punished, or that’s unfair for 4th Prince.” the evil Princess sneered. “Western Liang is nowhere near the sea, but I have a feeling the Princess of Western Liang lives by the sea.” Yin Zhen retorted immediately. “What does that mean?” the Princess asked, confused, only for Y/N to smirk at her beloved’s silver, witty tongue. To think that this Bitchy Princess would trouble herself with a sea of trivials, despite her affections for him. “Your Highness, I am willing to make up for my mistake and write down what 4th Prince just composed, not missing a single word.” and so she did, shocking the Princess with her fantastic memory and even more, her elegant calligraphy. And thus, Yin Zhen gets easily the 2nd win.

The two then needed a break and went outside, to look at the beautiful moon and feel the chilly breeze of Spring. Y/N, without a care, leaned on Yin Zhen’s, sighing content.

“I know I’m amazing, but to think some bitchy Princess would get jealous of me... That’s something else.” Y/N muttered, clinging lazily on his sleeve. “I know she has ill-intentions towards you. That maid, my men have been tracing her. She is working for the Princess to frame you.” the Prince spoke, aggravated. “Well, good for her. She couldn’t beat us. We are the true perfect match of Heaven and Earth. Nothing can keep us apart.” Y/N scoffed at the lame princess’s intentions, making the Prince chuckle. “Fearless as always. You are incredible.” he commented, simple, but effective. “Oh, you should see yourself, my darling. Do you know what the 3rd test is about?” she asked, only to see him shake his head. “Not sure yet, no. But whatever it is, I fear the Princess would want to be the one to compete against you. She’s just that petty.” the Prince explained, only for a servant to call the two inside.

Apparently, the Princess decided that the last test would be, lo’ and behold, Dancing. It was perfect. She knew just what to do.

“I am just a maid. Never have I thought I’d have the privilege to compete against Her Highness, the Princess of Western Liang.” Y/N bowed in front of the Princess gracefully, only for the Princess to sneer arrogantly. “You don’t deserve it! However... You played a part in the two previous tests. I’d like to see if you really have what it takes, or you are just borrowing help from the 4th Prince. So? You dare not?!” the Princess raised her voice aggressively. “I do have nothing that’s worth mentioning... However, I do believe that dancing should be one of my strengths. Allow me to change into the appropriate outfit for dancing and I shall show you, Your Highness.” and thus, Y/N quickly left the banquet to change into a beautiful Tang dynasty pink outfit the flowed like water around her, highlighting her featured delicately. Her hair, she had the top part in a bun, with beautiful golden hair pins decorated with agate and pearls, and wore agate earrings as well. On her face, despite the gorgeous make up, she had a half mask, outstandingly embellished with different precious gems that would sparkle brighter than the whole Western Liang.

Y/N watched the Princess dancing first - A rather basic dance, beautiful, yet, but of no fantastic feat. Despite all this, all envoys seem to think very little the little Physician girl, and even His Majesty and his Ministers seem to show little faith in her. Understandable, she thought, considering that all her life she strayed away from luxuries and feminine arts and studies.

“Do you see? Looks like you are just a slave girl to everyone! You don’t deserve the competition against me!” the Princess laughed, taunting the girl, who merely smiled. “Then, Your Highness might want to be careful... Because losing to me... It’s really mortifying.” and thus, hearing the Prince reassuring his father that she will win without a doubt, Y/N proceeded in dancing the most beautiful dance.

Lanling Prince in Battle.

Throughout the month, she has been perfecting this dance in front of Yin Zhen, and it was his favourite. Such a tragic love story, of two lovers, their hearts and souls united in life and in death, no matter what. A love story of a woman loving a man so much that she would even march to war to bring him back. A love story of a man so tormented by his wife’s death that he goes insane and destroys everything in his path.

The half mask, symbolizing the beautiful features of the man, and the beautiful face of the woman, a dance that symbolizes their feelings, their love, themselves, the fate, their life - A single dance, a single person, symbolizing two soulmates.

It was the perfect dance, and it was to no wonder that this was their favourite dance... To dance together. Although it was a dance for one person alone, Yin Zhen could never resist embracing her and dancing with her. He couldn’t resist touching her and holding her up in his graces as if she was a Goddess.

It took every ounce of strength the Prince had not to join her in the dance, but as she finished, everyone was so in awe that they forgot to breathe, only to then burst into cheerful and loud applause.

“I... Lost? No... No way... How...?” the Princess was shocked as if by lightning. Absolutely horrified that a slave girl was infinitely better than her. “Do tell me how the Prince helped me here.” Y/N smirked condescendingly at the Princess who started growling. “Y-You...! How dare you?! A stupid slave girl, speaking back to me?! You deserve to be punished!” the Princess started wagging her finger accusatory at her. “Like you wanted to punish the maid who deliberately threw ink on the poem paper, realizing that Western Liang cannot, in this world, beat the Prince’s genius? Is this what Western Liang has to do to win? Cheat and frame? How ridiculous and disappointing.” Y/N shrugged simply, walking by the 4th Prince’s side. “Your Majesty! She wants me to call white black and even sow discord between the two nations! Justice be served, Your Majesty!” the maid shrieked, pointing at Y/N, as the girl sighed, taking off the mask. “I’m the bad guy now, huh?” she muttered, rolling her eyes. “I got my people, and you don’t have the right to an opinion here. You are from Western Liang.” the Prince, having made a secret investigation earlier, seemed to have enough evidence to get those two into trouble, but now enough to actually create a war. “As virtue rises one foot, vice rises ten. Prince, you are incredible. The maid was going to make you trip. If you had, no matter how beautiful you danced, there was no way you would have won. Still, you were as beautiful as ever. Congratulations, you are the reason behind Qing’s wins. I told you I know why I have faith in you completely.” he praised as he poured her a cup of wine, making her seat next to him and celebrate their win, as the Princess is taken out of the palace to receive punishment when she returns home.

And thus, Western Liang not only lose all 3 tests, but they are also completely humiliated by their Princess’s cheating, and present the hairpin, shamefully.

“Son, you earned this hairpin, I will confer it upon you!” the Emperor handed the hairpin to his son, who bowed his head as a thanks. “I thank you, Royal Father. However, may I ask for another grace? To give it to someone else?” he asked, as the Emperor laughed. “Now that I’ve given it to you, it’s totally up to you.” and thus, as Yin Zhen opens the delicately embellished box, he takes out the hair pin, walking in front of Y/N. “Come here. I promised I will be the one to put accessories in your hair. You earned this, my love.” he said as he put his hand on her waist, kissing her forehead. “U-Uh... Yin Zhen... Everyone is looking at us.” Y/N muttered bashfully, unable to look at him. “Good. I want them to know that you are my wife, and my future Empress, and that if anyone even dares to think of laying a finger on you, they are going to be brutally disposed of.” he smiled sweetly, lifting her chin up with his finger. “Very bold, doing that in front of even your Father. Very good. What a wonderful husband I have.” she chuckled lightly as she was guided outside, to watch the fireworks show. “I already told him I want to marry you. Wasn’t much he could say after today’s wonderful wins. I have to say, you are really good at making people do what you want.” Yin Zhen chuckled lightly, bringing the girl to his chest. “You know what I think? That you talk too much and that you should kiss your wife more often. How’s that sound, My Darling Emperor?” Y/N smirked like a vixen. “I love the sound of that... My Little Physician Empress.”

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dontbipanicjonsa · 3 years ago

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Can't believe they Pol!Jon-baited us (I finished the show, unfortunately)

Like queer-baiting, yes.

Lucky for me I'm used to being baited.

No but really. I cannot believe how they utterly ruined Jon's character by the end.

Sure, I can still say Pol!Jon was happening. I can say that Jon told Varys his, "she is my Queen" because he didn't trust that Varys wouldn't betray him to Dany. Kind of like how Sansa would call Joffrey her King and renounce her family while she was stuck in KL.

I can say that Jon was clearly trying to talk down/calm Dany when he said "I love you" and then immediately followed it with "you are my Queen" (again) because he knew that was what really mattered to Dany.

I can say plenty of his actions were driven by fear.

I can say that his "love is the death of duty" can be interpreted as his love for his family and his need to protect them which led him down the Pol!Jon path that proceeded to grow utterly out of his control (death of his duty to the realm of men etc)

But that still doesn't cut it.

At some point his actions cross from Pol!Jon to nonsensical. Is he really the kind of guy who would follow an obvious tyrant because he "loves" her? Does he love her??? HOW

Is he so deeply in love that his vocabulary has been cut down to only "you are my Queen" and "I don't want it"? Very romantic.

Basically, I can't believe that he loved her, I also can't believe he would hesitate to try to stop her unless he did love her. So basically......idk. It doesn't make sense. Why did he need to be convinced that Dany has to be removed from power??

On a lighter note- wtf are we all still debating about???? Last episode made it clear that Jon and Sansa love each other.

I mean....

When Danaerys and Jon talk about the "others" that Dany says "won't get to choose", who are they really talking about? Who is "they"?

Let's see, Edmure from the Riverlands ? Nah, dude has too strong self preservation skills.

Who's at Highgarden? Sam? Some rando? The Unsullied? They're not gonna wage war on Dany alone. So no.

The Westerlands? Well, the Lannisters just died, besides Tyrion who's imprisoned. Dany would have probably elected somebody to take over that place.

The Vale? Right. Sweetrobin would utterly destroy Dany with his smirky face, but it's unlikely he'd try.

The Pyke? Last we checked, Yara took it back in Dany's name.

The Stormlands? Why would Gendry do that ? To avenge KL? Unlikely.

Dorne? We don't even know the freaking name of that supposed Prince.

The wildlings? Why??

That's right. Neither Jon nor Dany have reason to believe that anybody else will rebel in Westeros....except the North. Except Sansa.

"They" is Sansa. Jon killed Dany for Sansa.

Not to mention, Sansa is repeatedly brought up in the scenes leading up to Jon killing Dany, because she is the point of conflict between them. Besides his parentage, of course.

And Sansa. My girl brought a whole ass army to the capital just for Jon. Straight up said she'd declare war if anyone hurt him. Honestly, she can declare war on me anytime she wants.

Actually it's pretty hilarious-

Sansa to Bran: you ain't my king

Sansa to Jon: but you're my king :/

And also-

Sansa to Jon: can you forgive me

Jon to Sansa: dammit let me stay angry for a moment :(

Dorks.

I will say, if the show had actually been consistent till the end, I would believe that Sansa being seemingly not angry at Jon is a sign that Pol!Jon was a thing. Because otherwise he would have given away the North to a foreign queen simply because he was in love with her, and put his entire Kingdom and family at a huge risk of being burnt alive, as KL was. Not sure if Sansa would still say things like "but we lost our king" then.

But the show ISN'T consistent so what's the point anymore?

Another thing-

Dany is a tragic figure ultimately. She needs the love of her subjects, but fails to realise that conquering a continent with fire breathing dragons and the "love of the people"....do not go hand in hand.

Jon's "I love you" was calculated, but he failed to follow through on it the way she wanted.

Now, I'm going to list three ways in which Jonerys stagnated the story and generally sucked, because I'm petty like that.

1) Sansa says- you have to be smarter than Father.

Say Jon did fall in love with Dany, and he really was honorable the entire time....even at the Dragon Pit where he refused to lie to Cersei. A true Northern Fool. What was the point of that line then? He didn't learn shit. No, he got worse. Because we know Jon has lied in the previous seasons.

Actually, this lends more to making me believe Pol!Jon was real. Jon mentions his Father quite a bit in S7, and it is always about how honorable his father was. Seriously, we know Ned was honorable. You don't have to keep telling us. Unless.....?

Arya and Sansa talk about Ned too, but their conversation is not about honor.

So seriously Jon, don't you have anything else to say about your dad? Or are you trying to convince everyone of your own supposed honor by connecting yourself so strongly to your Father's honorable-ness.

We really didn't need that many reminders. It's sus.

2) Sansa says- you have to be smarter than Robb.

And then what did Jon do? Went South, fell for a foreigner, lost his crown, lost some of his standing in the North, and eventually the story ended tragically and a whole lot of people died.

Once again, what was the point? Why have Sansa specifically tell Jon not to make the same mistakes as his father and brother only to have him go and make those same mistakes? That's not how stories move forward.

If Jon really pulled a Robb, then Sansa and the North are perfectly justified in their anger.

3) Jon and Ygritte.

So....Jon goes to place where he's essentially a prisoner, meets woman who's into him, falls into Stockholm Syndrome with her, puts his duty and honor on hold to enter an abusive relationship with her, wilfully blinds himself to her flaws to cope, and then eventually (directly or indirectly) leads to her death.

Ygritte and Dany are....the same. Dany is Ygritte with dragons. Once again, what was the point?

Did Jon's story really just repeat itself, beat for beat? Is this like some loop he's cursed to live in?

Pol!Jon is the only way we can respect Jon's character growth from the time he was with Ygritte till the end of S6. Jon from S6 would not fall in love with Dany.

Side note- how do you put that "read more" cut in these posts? I feel like this one got too long.

#jonsa meta #jonsa #all roads lead to jonsa #dark dany #political jon #pol!jon

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pomegranates-and-blood · 4 years ago

Text

Madness, pt.2

Madness, pt.1

My Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader, Sigurd/Blaeja (mentioned, alluded?)

Summary: So, I wrote a sequel to Madness, I really don’t know what to put in this summary. This takes place in the expanse of a few months/year, but hopefully the pace of the time passing is clearish in the story ;)

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Mentions or allusions of death, mentions or allusions of abduction/kidnapping, mentions of (hypothetical) rape, and I don’t really know what else. Does blood kink count? Cause, subtle blood kink.

A/N: First of all I want to thank all of you for the amazing reception to Madness. I am so thankful, and so humbled you guys like my writing and this story. Really, thank you so much for your feedback, your kind words, and your support. Means the world.

Second of all, I’m sorry it took so long to get the sequel out. I wasn’t exactly planning one but ngl, I have fun writing these two, and I hope this doesn’t dissapoint. Love ya! <3

Putting up the act of being dragged a hysterical, frantic mess of a woman all the way from the docks to the King’s dungeons was not that difficult. You had kept the nervous energy within you ever since you accepted getting on that boat, and finding a release to it was…cathartic, in a way.

The King’s bodyguards that kept firm hands on your upper arms as they took you to the prison that will be your home for who-knows how long don’t push or shove you into the cell, making you wonder how many people are truly aware of this ruse.

The moment the door is closed, the moment you are safe behind the iron bars and away from the crown and its reach, you cannot help the laugh -hysterical, hoarse, crazy laugh- that leaves your lips, that breaks its way out of your lungs.

You are free.

You lay on that cell for so long you forget to keep track of the time, but small little laughs leave your lips every once in a while, as you lean on the tips of your feet to look out the small window, into the foreign sky.

Free.

You laugh again, shaking fingers enclosed around the iron bars, and you hear a shuffling sound behind you.

“These people say I’m crazy. I wonder what they’ll have to say for the Princess that laughs at her own imprisonment.” King Ivar states, squaring his shoulders and standing tall on the other side of that cage door.

You smile, “You did it. You promised, and you did it. You got me out of there.”

“I keep my promises,” He states, resolute, before continuing, “Any other woman would be terrified, not delighted, at being on a Viking’s cell.”

You shrug, “Maybe they are right, maybe I am crazy.”

The King considers you in silence, clear eyes piercing as they take you in, and after a few heartbeats, shakes his head minutely.

“No, not crazy.”

____

You have learned more and more of these Norsemen’s language, and in turn you’ve taught King Ivar more of your own -it didn’t surprise you when he ordered you to teach him, saying when he negotiated with Alfred he didn’t want some meddling translator-; and you’ve learned of their traditions, and their Gods, and their honor.

Heartless, Godless, nothing but barbarians; they used to say. But you’ve seen the mothers loving their children like any Christian would, the faithful honoring their strange Gods in their own way.

They know nothing but bloodthirst, they care for nothing, love nothing; that’s what the soldiers used to whisper to terrify the maidens. But these are a people alive like any other, and yes, they are cold and harsh and brutish, but if their King is anything to go by, they are as capable as humanity as any other.

If you believed their tales, which you never truly did, thanks to King Ecbert’s lessons; it would have all still crumbled to dust and lies before your eyes as you grew closer and closer to the man that ‘abducted’ you.

All their tales of cruelty and ruthlessness and bloodthirst, they are more than true, of course; but they forget to tell of the awkward gentleness with which he holds your hand and presses absent kisses to it; they forget to tell of the cautious vulnerability that shines in those pale eyes when the sun sets and it’s just the two of you and your secrets and your promises; they forget to tell of the shuddered breaths over your lips, the eyes that fluttered closed when you lean close enough, that fill you with warmth to your very core.

They forget many things. Hopefully, they forget to tell about you, too.

Let you be forgotten by those people that killed your mother; let you be forgotten by the God that never looked upon your family with none of his mercy; let you be forgotten by the boy you may have cared for but never loved, not like this.

You spent a fortnight -maybe?- in that cell. It didn’t surprise you, a believable claim that you willingly came with King Ivar to Scandinavia would mean the leverage to return you to Wessex would be null. What did surprise you, though, was that you were very often visited, almost every day, by the King.

He is a fascinating man, he was to you since that first moment. He never ceased to be, even now, after months of secrets and pried truths and reluctant vulnerability and him.

Shortly after, you were allowed more performative freedoms, and it didn’t cost you much to put up an act that slowly waned and disappeared that you feared, hated even, the heathens that took you captive.

You’ve seen the ashen faces of those who returned from battle against the Vikings, you’ve heard the tales of the women that trembled at the memory of the raiders, you’ve known of their fame ever since your mother was gifted her uncle’s head by one of these Norsemen.

It is not hard for you to imagine why a woman -a sane woman, maybe- would fear them. And so, the act is not hard, the ruse is not difficult.

And let them think the King broke you, let them think a poor maiden was stolen from her home, let them think you long to return to your home, let them think you feel nothing but cold. In the meantime, you will be free, and safe, and growing to love a King that gives you nothing but warmth.

____

“I want to learn how to fight.” You tell him one evening, as you watch the sun set over the distant waves, and hear the training warriors somewhere near the longhouse.

He hums at your words, lifting your hand and absently pressing a kiss to the back of it before he asks, “Why?”

You offer a shrug and a small smile as you retort dryly, “A Princess, alone and surrounded by savages, she should have some means of defending herself?”

The King offers a side smile at your jest, and it feels like a tiny victory. Always does. It always has, ever since the first time you saw him, you don’t even remember how long ago.

“I could let someone teach you.” He finally drawls out, slowly, meticulously.

You cannot mask your enthusiasm, you realize too late, “Really?”

“For a price.” He clarifies.

“I wouldn’t expect otherwise. What is your price, my King?”

But he shakes his head, “That secret is mine to keep for now,” Lifting his eyes to yours and knowing he won, King Ivar insists, “Do we have a deal?”

“Yes!” You say quickly, surprising even yourself.

“Are you su-…” The King starts, even as some strange softness teases at his expression. You realize that you have startled him, and somehow that makes the excitement bubbling in your chest greater.

“Yes!” You interrupt, biting your lip and offering a sheepish shrug in apology when he glares at you, “I’m sorry, but yes.”

“Sit down, no one is going to train you now.” He chastises, but you know his tells by now. And the gentle tug of his hand on yours to bring you closer again is not even needed for you to understand he wasn’t ready or willing for you to part form his embrace. You concede with a breathed laugh and a smile that you press against his own lips, and rest against his side with a sigh.

“Thank you.” You whisper, so quietly you barely hear yourself.

“Hm. You know, I never convinced myself you aren’t at least a bit crazy.” He muses, with what you know -but he’d deny to his grave- is a soft kiss pressed to the crown of your head.

____

“Fuck!” You gasp out, Ubbe’s sword a hair’s width away from your neck, “Shouldn’t there be…wooden swords, or something?”

“Don’t you trust me?” The Prince asks around a smile. You answer with widened eyes and pushing his sword away from your neck with your own.

“Not when you hold a blade to my neck, my Prince!”

The Viking laughs, genuine and young, and you find yourself smiling back. You both assume your positions again, even if you are certain you are one sneeze away from being gutted.

“Why did you want to learn anyways? Aren’t you West Saxons supposed to sue for peace instead?” Ubbe starts as he guides your arm through a motion to break out of a block.

“I am Mercian, but yes, we do prefer talking.” You answer, focused on following his indications.

“Then why learn to fight?” The Prince insists.

“I want to be able to defend myself.”

King Ivar calls your name from behind you, a greeting and a demand of your attention as he approaches you and his brother. You turn around, and he inserts himself into the conversation you were having with Ubbe,

“Defending yourself also includes not starting fights you cannot win.”

“Ladies don’t start fights.” You shoot back quickly, side smile on your lips.

You hear him snort a laugh and your smile widens.

“But you do,” Ivar says, just as you deviate with your sword Ubbe’s attempt to strike your leg. “For someone so…”

Pushing back against the other son of Ragnar, you interrupt him.

“Don’t say small.” You grit out as you turn around, fight on pause.

“Small,” He supplies anyways, emphatically. He looks maddeningly delighted when you furrow your nose in annoyance, “You surely seem to love starting fights.”

“If by ‘starting’ you mean not letting you get away with-…”

“Get away? You get the last word every time I e-…”

“Brother, Princess,” Ubbe calls out, eyeing you strangely before motioning with his head, “Training.”

You nod, getting your focus back into place, and try getting used to the unfamiliar weight of the shield in your hands as you face the bearded man again.

Ivar’s voice cuts into your thoughts again, and your concentration evaporates along with your patience.

“Why are you standing like he does? You are half his size, you can’t mimic him and expect good results.”

You face him with gritted teeth, “Well, if my teacher did something other than berating me I could-…”

“You asked for my help.”

“I…shut up,” You sentence, turning back to Ubbe and correcting your stance to something you feel grounded and able to move on. The older Prince looks at his brother, considering, and then takes the shield from you. You let go of it with ease, but still question, “My Prince?”

“He’s right. You are small.”

“Thank you.” You sentence dryly, and the other man chuckles in response.

“I mean we can’t have you fight like you would in the front lines. Instead, fight like you would in an ambush.”

You shrug, because you have no idea what he means, and let him guide you through the movements.

____

You know what he’s going to say before you even hear him.

“Again.”

“Everything hurts.” You groan as you sit up from the cold dirt.

“I don’t care,” Ivar is quick to retort, and you have a feeling he can sense you rolling your eyes, because a taunt is quick to follow, “You Saxons may stop when you are in pain, but Vikings don’t. Again.”

Gritting your teeth and letting one or two curses in your native language leave your lips, you stand up and lift the sword. Prince Hvitserk smiles, hands toying with his axe as she studies you for a moment.

For once, you attack first, slashing towards his side, but the wooden hilt of his axe stops the movement. Not hesitating, you pull back and try again, making the Viking take a couple of steps back.

He breaks the block with a twist of his weapon’s hilt, making your sword slide off and your balance weaken. The victory is his as he raises the great axe over his head with a yell, but you lift the sword, stopping him even as you are forced to grab the blade with your free hand to give more strength to the block.

Blood pours from between your fingers and sharp pain follows, but you keep your attention on Hvitserk and wait for the moment you see him decide to push instead of retreat and attacking again. When his strength focuses on his upper body, like he did to you many times before, you place your boot on his inner thigh and kick outwards.

The force of your kick sends you stumbling back, but you catch yourself. The Viking falls down in his back though, and with enthusiasm you hold the tip of your sword over him. Victory.

You allow yourself a small smile, and Hvitserk shoulders his great axe as he stands up, fight over.

“You are getting better, Princess.” He praises gruffly, and you thank him with a nod.

Whatever dignity you tried gaining with the composed gesture is blown by the way you cannot seem to stop the excited pitter-patter of your feet as you walk back to Ivar.

“Did you see?” You ask. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so wide, and you could swear a little bit of your enthusiasm gets to the King, who smiles at you somewhat softly.

“He went easy on you.”

“I know that.” You answer with a roll of your eyes.

“And you are bleeding everywhere.” Ivar points out, signaling with his head to your hand. Reminded of your wound, you bring up your fist but Ivar is quick to catch it in his own hand.

You open your palm to see a cut running down your palm and similar ones -although not as deep- in your fingers. Your eyes follow the trail of a thick drop of blood that slithers down the side of your hand to your wrist.

Apparently, Ivar’s eyes followed the same droplet, for he moves your hand to his mouth and quickly licks off the offending drop.

“Ivar!” You chastise, tugging softly at the braid at the back of his neck, stopping his tongue from continuing trailing maddeningly the skin at your bloodied hand. He laughs, his eyes darkened when he looks up at you, and you cannot deny the rush of heat that look sends through you.

“I like it when you call me that.” He says, side smile still bearing the mark of your blood. You have the errant, traitorous thought to kiss the stain of blood off his lips, and because you can, because there’s no shame in lust or love, you lean down and do exactly that.

The metallic taste of your own blood on his lips makes you wonder if you could convince him to forget there’s a kingdom past your bed if only for a few hours; steal him away so he can think, taste, or feel nothing but you, so you can think, taste, or feel nothing but him.

Instead, trying to gather your wits and keep your voice even, you answer, “It is your name.”

“But you also call me ‘my King’,” He says, hand still holding yours and moving it so that he can see the wound more clearly. You keep your eyes on his profile, and find yourself startled when he suddenly looks up at you, head cocked to the side. Thankfully he doesn’t notice your eyes tracing the shape of his lips, and instead asks, “And you don’t really mean that, do you?”

You huff a laugh, “You are King of Kattegat.”

“But am I your King?” Ivar insists, eyes narrowed.

“I…” You start, stopping yourself when you realize you have no quick answer to give. You are not Viking; but you also have sworn no fealty to no king or kingdom, not since the ruse of your ‘capture’ was started. Still, you give him his answer in a soft voice, “No.”

He seems almost pleased, his smile turning more sincere when he states, “Call me by my name from now on then.”

You agree with a nod, the only answer your lips give is a smile, before you lean to speak by his ear. You will never cease to be delighted at the wonder mixed with desire that darken his eyes whenever you remind him of how much you want him.

Turns out stealing a King is way easier than you thought. You needed only a whisper in his ear and a sway of your hips.

____

“You are getting better,” The King starts that night, and you turn your attention to him with a smile. The people have months ago stopped staring at the crazy Mercian Princess, and the whispers about how happy she looks even as a captive have quietened; and for the first time since your mother died you have felt safe and comfortable. King Ivar continues, “For a Saxon.”

“You could just compliment me, you know.” You offer with a side smile.

The King uses the hand he holds in his -he always does, he always finds a way to be touching you and your hands seems to be a preference of his- to tug you closer where you sit on the bench next to him, and it is with a breathy chuckle that you find yourself pressed against his side.

He considers you for a few moments, before leaning close to your ear and whispering, so low only you can hear,

“You are a maddening woman, you know that?” His fingers intertwine with yours before he continues, “A maddening, infuriating, crazy woman. The most beautiful and fascinating woman I’ve ever met. The woman I…”

His words die, because they always do. Even if they always do, even if he has never admitted anything, even if he has never said he cares for you, or loves you; your heart still skips a beat every time you dare hope he just might.

But because you’ve grown to know him, to understand, you do not feel pain anymore. You let yourself believe he loves you when you feel his hand reaching for you in the dead of night, as if to make sure you are still there; you let yourself believe he loves you when you are the last one to open your eyes after you make love and find his eyes on you, his expression that of wonder and peace, you let yourself believe many things.

And so, you give the answer to the words he hasn’t -can’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t- say,

“I love you.”

As always, as every time you tell him of your love since that first time, Ivar’s expression softens, his shoulders drop, as if you bring relief to a part of him you don’t notice is always on edge.

Because he has his tells, and he knows by now you know of them.

And when you tell him you love him and you are alone in the safety of his -your? You don’t remember sleeping anywhere else- room, his eyes close and his lips pull into the smallest of smiles, soft and content.

And when you tell him you love him in the great hall, like now, he drops the tension in his shoulders and claims your mouth, sealing the words against his own lips as if to prove they are real, they are true.

He has his tells, and they betray that even if he does not dare say the words, he does feel the same.

____

You wake up at an absence in your bed, and missing Ivar’s warmth you sit up. You find him sitting by one of the chairs near a window, his hand by his mouth and a furrow in his brow. His eyes are intent on a map of England he keeps on a nearby table, and you realize what kept him awake without needing to hear a word.

“Word from Winchester?” You ask, getting out from under the furs but only moving to the foot of the bed, where you sit with your legs underneath you.

“Mhm. Alfred demanded proof you are safe, and the letter you sent was enough. But, since you are safe, he asks now that you are returned to him. In exchange for Lindsey.”

“Lindsey? Ivar, that’s-…”

“It’ll allow me to take over half of Mercia, I know” He doesn’t seem thrilled at the idea, even if he showed you, you don’t know how many moons ago, that having free access to that region would give him a great advantage. “And Alfred knows too. He knows what you are worth.”

And so the reminder of what this deal entails -your return- falls on your stomach like a dead weight. Of course, of course show could you forget? A Princess stolen in exchange for a ransom to be paid by those who want her back, a while of freedom bought until the offer is made, and if the offer is enough, you’ll sail back to Alfred and need another way to get away from there. One King walks away with new lands, the other with a bride.

But you remember those days spent in Winchester, before he was King, before Blaeja was Sigurd’s wife, before you were his ‘prisoner’; and you remember him asking what if he didn’t wish to return you to Alfred.

You remember that, and you remember every day since; and so you hope, and taking a deep breath and steeling yourself for the response, you ask,

“What will you do?”

He considers you in silence, with cold, calculating eyes. But with a grunt, he throws something he was holding in his hand and takes his eyes away from yours. You startle, but say nothing. You don’t think there’s much -if anything- you can say.

Tension is written all over his form, and after a few calculated breaths, he meets your eyes again.

“Marry me.”

“What!?” You squeak. He calls you a mad woman then comes up with these ideas.

But Ivar settles with calm, with certainty, in his madness. Like when you’ve seen him plan an attack, you realize he has thought of the alternatives, the outcomes. And, like in strategy, like in chess, he has certainty in what the next move must be.

He stands, using the crutch to move closer to you and sits next to you on the bed. His hand runs through your hair and settles comfortably at the back of your neck.

“I took a Princess from him, but he won’t take a Queen from me.”

“W-What are you saying?”

“They won’t make Queen of Wessex and Mercia a woman that was made wife to a Viking, much less Queen of Kattegat.”

Your heart beats madly in your ears, you feel like one of those trapped rabbits you saw the hunters bring back. You only look back at him with a knot in your stomach and wide eyes.

“And Lindsey?”

“We’ll threaten to send you in pieces if he does not send those papers, if he doesn’t concede. When he does, we’ll announce we’re married. They’ll think I stole you away and forced you, but they won’t be able to take you away, since we’ll be husband and wife.”

“In the eyes of your Gods. It will be nothing but pagan nonsense to the church. They’ll annul it, claim I was raped and so I am still fit to marry Alfred.”

And in the blink of an eye you are back in that hidden room in Winchester’s palace, sneaking thanks to Blaeja and her Prince to meet with the man that promised to steal you away; exchanging ideas and hopes on how to make this work.

“We’ll marry before their God too.”

He says it certainly, with no hesitation. He truly thinks of it all, doesn’t he?

And you wish you could say yes, you wish you could accept and finally seal your future away from England’s hands. You truly do, but…

“No,” You whisper, feeling the tears threaten at your eyes. The moment the simple word leaves your lips, you have another man standing before you. Closed off, with an edge of cruel madness shining in his gaze. “I’ll find another way. I won’t marry you for a business deal.

With a snarl of anger making his nose furrow, his jaw tighten, the King lets you go. You stand on shaky legs and walk a few steps to where he used to sit, eyeing the map of the land that saw you be born.

The land that might see you die, if they give you no choice but to return.

But Ivar calls your name, and interrupts your dark thoughts. It is the uncertainty where before there was strategy, the vulnerability where before there was confidence, the softness where before there was steel; what makes you turn to him with a new kind of tension taking over your body.

“T-Then marry me because I love you.” He whispers, a twitch in his expression speaking of how unmoored he is, how uncomfortable with the confession, with the possibilities it opens before you. With the power it gives you.

It should thrill you, to know you hold power over him. He has held power over you for so long, he has had your love for so long, it is only fair you have his heart in exchange. But the fear you see shining in his pale eyes startles you, softens you, breaks you.

So you step closer, so close he can reach up with one rough hand and set his touch at your waist -he always finds a way to be touching you, he always does- and he does, his eyes following his hand before meeting your own again.

“This is madness.” You whisper, and his lips curve into a smile, because he understands, he knows.

And the answer leaves your lips as easily as your feet jumped into that ship, and you whisper your yes against hungry lips, forgetting there’s a world past the two of you.

____

So, that is it! Hope you liked it, and hope you didn’t mind the lil Persephone’s abduction imagery sprinkled about, I am way too invested in Greek mythology atm for it not to show in most of what I write lol.

Btw, Lindsey is a region in the Kingdom of Mercia, here’s a map in case you were curious :)

Would love to know what you think, and thank you so much for reading!

#ivar the boneless x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar the boneless #vikings #masterlist

178 notes · View notes

pengychan · 4 years ago

Text

[Good Omens] Winging It - Jeremiah 17:9

Summary: Shockingly, attempting to destroy an angel without consulting God first comes with consequences. There is more than one way to fall, and a thousand more ways to inconvenience an angel and a demon who just wanted to be left in peace. Characters: Gabriel, Crowley, Aziraphale, Beelzebub, Michael, Uriel, Sandalphon Rating: T

Prologue and all chapters are tagged as ‘winging it’ on my blog.

A/N: No vintage pornography was mistreated in the making of this chapter.

(A scene was partly based on and amazing comic by @hyunlou, because I loved it so much I could no longer picture the scene going any other way,and also @lunaescribe on my birthday with art - check the fic tag to see both!)

***

“... Is that what they asked you? If you had carnal desires? Were those their exact words?”

“Yes,” Gabriel said, and shifted a little when Łukasz let out a groan, rubbing his temples.

“Why do they speak like they came out of some shitty BBC period drama?” Fabrizio asked, only for Łukasz to entirely ignore him and look back at Gabriel.

“And you said no.”

“I said I don’t think I do-- I am not sure-- and then they left before I could suggest we go out for the evening, and I have no idea why. But they did take the mugs, so--”

“Jesus Christ, mate, they were making a pass at you!”

Gabriel blinked. “... They were making a what?”

Fabrizio cleared his throat before speaking in the fakest, poshest British accent imaginable. “I think what my esteemed colleague is trying to say is that this… what’s their name again?”

“Beel-- Bill.”

“Right. This Bill was trying to politely gauge whether or not you may, perchance, be entertaining the thought of shagging.”

“Shagging?” Gabriel repeated. He was familiar with the term, of course - working in warehouse near the docks had taught him a vast array of terms all generally referring to the same things - but he had no idea why Beelzebub would be asking if he entertained the thought of--

“Shagging them, specifically.”

Gabriel stared. He opened his mouth, gaped a little more, then blinked. “They-- were?” he asked, sounding every inch as bewildered as he felt. The notion was so alien to him, it was hard to wrap his mind around it… and yet, now that it had been clearly spelled out for him, Gabriel felt a sudden desire to reach back into the space-time continuum and smack himself in the back of the head. Unable to do that due to his current limitations as a mortal, he just blinked again. “But... why?”

Forehead firmly pressed on the table, Łukasz snickered. “That’s an excellent question,” he said. “I’m starting to suspect your friend is a rabid moronsexual.”

“A what?”

That caused Fabrizio to burst laughing so suddenly and violently that Gabriel was left with little doubt that he was supposed to feel insulted by the remark. However, he was too baffled to.

“That was never-- it never came up,” he protested.

“Hah! Well, it did now. They brought it up. So, are you?”

Gabriel opened his mouth.

“... Before you go ‘am I what’, allow me to make myself clear. Are you interested in the offer?”

Ah. “I’m… not certain it was an offer, I ought not assume--”

“Let’s say it was. Are you?”

Gabriel hesitated, and this time they didn’t press him for an answer. Which was good, because he honestly did not have one yet; there had been something when he’d held the Prince of Hell in his arms, something that had made him wish he didn’t have to put them down… but the notion of carnal desires was so foreign to him, he had no idea what that would even feel like.

In the end, he sighed. “... I’ll need to do research,” he finally said.

If Łukasz and Fabrizio found it an odd response, which they probably did, they said nothing of it.

“All right. But, my friend, let me tell you something. Whether you want to shag them or not, you’re so smitten it’s not even funny,” Fabrizio said. Gabriel didn’t even try to argue he was not.

Lying is, after all, a sin.

***

Indulging in carnal pleasures was, quite obviously, not the immediate ticket to the lowest circles of Hell that many mortals seemed to believe it was.

It was in some cases, of course, whenever someone forced their own lust on somebody who was anything but a willing participant; those souls had a circle of their own, which was rather cramped as well as boasting a frankly astounding amount of Catholic priests.

A good number of them may have been tempted by demons, though Beelzebub suspected it was a minority, but even in those cases all the forces of Hell had really done was put some rather non-specific lust in their heart; how they let it grow and then acted upon it was entirely their choice.

It was not a circle of Hell Beelzebub had ever had much to do with, as lust did not precisely fall under their expertise, and therefore they did not know the minute details of what was the exact line between simple carnal pleasure and sinful lust. However, they felt reasonably certain in the assumption that carnal relations with a Prince of Hell would, at the very least, be a prominent enough sin to tilt the balance of the scale towards Hell.

And I may be more successful in doing that than I was trying to convince him to push an old lady under the bus.

Just maybe. There were demons who made seduction their weapon of choice when it came to gaining influence over mortals, but Beelzebub was not among them. Plus, when asked if he did have carnal desires, Gabriel had said he didn’t think he did.

But he hadn’t said no, either, which had been his immediate reply whenever they had tried to talk him into any kind of serious sin, and therefore Beelzebub concluded it would be foolish not to make at least an attempt. So they would - but first, they needed to do some research over what carnal relations precisely entailed other than just choosing one out of two models of genitalia and make them fit with the other’s.

They would come across as rather stupid, after all, if Gabriel accepted and they had to reveal they didn’t know the first thing about what they’d just proposed.

***

The dancers should stand facing each other, keep their feet loose and relaxed, standing so that they are facing each other with about an arm's length of space in between them...

By the time he got to the second paragraph, Gabriel had begun to suspect that guide - Learn How To Shag In One Minute - was not precisely what he was looking for. With a frown, he went back to the search results and looked around a bit further.

Ah, so apparently shag dancing was a thing. It looked rather awkward and had no relevance to his research, doubly so as angels did not dance and he certainly had not picked up the habit since becoming mortal, so in the end Gabriel sighed and just put his phone down.

All right, it seemed that the Internet was not a reliable source, regardless of the large amounts of porn that, he had been informed, could be found in it. He had absolutely no intention to come across as a fool if - when? - Beelzebub brought up the matter again, and therefore he needed better sources than dubious websites with excessive amounts of Xs in their name.

A book. Books are more reliable.

Of course Gabriel was not so gullible to think all books could be trusted - he had seen too many outlandish editions of the Bible not to know better - so he would need to be certain the book he got his hands on would be a reputable one.

And he just so happened to know an expert in the field.

***

“Lord Beelzeb--”

“Nothing!”

Dagon blinked, taken aback, when Lord Beelzebub let out a noise that was only slightly more dignified than a shriek and slammed their laptop shut. They had been sitting on their throne, staring at the screen with such keen interest they hadn’t heard her coming in - and now, for some reason, they were sitting on the laptop.

… All right. Dagon would assume that whatever they were looking at was a private matter and not ask, then. She cleared her throat and somehow managed to keep a straight face despite the utter surprise; she had never seen the Lord of the Flies caught so off-guard.

“What do you want!” Beelzebub barked, looking one step away from trying to turn her to ashes. Not that Hellfire could destroy a demon, of course, but it would hurt quite badly and Dagon liked it better when she was not hurt quite badly.

“I, uh, am here concerning the meeting to review the performance of our demons this month,” she said. “If it suits you, we can move the time--”

“You can chair that stupid meeting,” the Prince of Hell snapped. “Now leave. I’m busy.”

“Oh. Is it anything I can help wi--”

“You can help by chairing the meeting in my stead.”

“Ah. Does that mean I am authorized to choose who to punish and what bonuses to award--”

“You’re authorized to do whatever the Heaven you want, as long as you leave me now!”

The flies around Lord Beelzebub’s head buzzed furiously as though to underline the unspoken threat, and Dagon was clever enough not to argue further: a quick bow, and she was out of the throne room as fast as her legs could carry her while still maintaining some composure.

Once alone, Beelzebub let out a groan and rubbed their eyes. They stood, picked up the laptop from their throne, and opened it again. The screen was cracked, but then again the entire thing was so busted it was plainly not supposed to work in any capacity, and Beelzebub had yet to meet a piece of technology that would defy their order to work when they were supposed to.

It sure worked now, as Beelzebub turned it back on and to look at their most recent searches.

how to do courtship how to court human how to court idiot how to kiss human genitalia how penis work how vagina work how to have sex tutorial

The last one led to a rather educational video depicting a man and a woman on a large, round bed. If they squinted, the man even looked a little like Gabriel.

Beelzebub supposed it would do for now, in case they decided to acquire female genitalia for the occasion, but they were still on the fence about that and would probably need to seek more varied videos. Just to make sure they had grasped the main idea, of course.

“Unnecessarily complicated, is what all this is,” Beelzebub, Prince of Hell and Lord of the Flies, declared loudly. Then they leaned back on their throne, reached for one of the mugs Gabriel had bought them, and hit play again.

For research.

***

“Gabriel! It’s good to see you.”

“He doesn’t mean that,” Crowley muttered.

“Come, sit. I’ll make some tea.”

“Feel free to decline, we won’t mind.”

“Tea would be much appreciated, thank you,” Gabriel said, to Crowley’s annoyance, and sat, to his further annoyance, while entirely ignoring his remarks, to his utter annoyance. He looked around the cottage, and if he dared say anything about the decor Crowley would chew his head off, especially after seeing what kind of minimalistic nightmare Heaven was.

“This is… cozy,” Gabriel finally said after a slight hesitation, leaving Crowley just a little miffed that he didn’t, after all, get a good excuse to chew off his head. Yet.

“Oh, we’re still in the process of moving everything,” Aziraphale was saying, picking up the teapot he’d put on the stove only minutes before Gabriel had showed up at the bookstore. With the portal-door between the store and the cottage wide open, the sound of him knocking had carried over and Aziraphale had let him in before Crowley could stop it.

“We will keep the door open between here and my bookstore, it is such a convenient place to store all my books and I am not ready to give it up just yet. Crowley still needs to move some paintings out of his flat, that garish throne and the decoration he stole from a church--”

“I didn’t steal it, the church was bombed.”

“I remember. It was an eventful evening,” Aziraphale said lightly, putting the teapot on the table. “I almost got discorporated, but Crowley came to help me out. He saved us all upstairs so much paperwork.”

“Ah,” Gabriel said, clearly not sure what to say to that. “I mean-- thank you.”

Crowley gave him a long, unimpressed look, and he cleared his throat. “Anyway… where’s here, exactly?”

“That’s on a need-to-know basis and you don’t need to know,” Crowley said, crossing his arms. They both had agreed that neither Heaven nor Hell would ever know where their cottage was, and while Gabriel was technically part of neither, he still counted as a stuck-up archangel as far as Crowley was concerned. Now that he knew about the cottage, something would have to be done about the door connecting it to the bookstore. Maybe a seal, the kind that would keep out anyone who was not the two of them…

“It’s good to know you’re doing well,” Aziraphale was saying, clearly speaking for himself only, and poured tea in all three cups on the table despite the fact Crowley had elected not to sit yet, instead glaring at Gabriel in hopes he would feel uncomfortable enough to leave. “Now, what was that you mentioned about needing research books?” he asked, and brought the cup to his mouth.

“I need pornography books,” Gabriel declared, and the excellent tea Aziraphale had just sipped was sprayed right back out on the table in a fine mist. From his corner, Crowley raised both eyebrows up to almost his hairline.

Well. That was not what he’d expected to hear.

Aziraphale looked down at the mess on the table and on his own clothes before he gave Gabriel a very, very weary look. “You know, don’t you, that there really is no need for codes now?”

Gabriel shook his head. “No, no, it’s not a code. I do need some pornography books.”

Aziraphale stared.

“... For research. As I sa-- Aziraphale?”

No answer: Aziraphale stood, without a further word, and was out of the room within moments, hands up in the air. Whether to find someplace to scream in peace, stare at the wall for a few minutes while scrubbing the mental image out of his brain, or try to clean the tea off his clothes, Crowley was not sure.

He would check on him in a minute. First, he had questions.

“Research, huh?” he said, leaning on the table across a rather bewildered Gabriel, who had somehow expected a different reaction to him asking to borrow pornography books. He grinned, wide enough to almost make his cheeks hurt. There was some amazing mocking material there, he could feel it. “And who is this about? A new friend? A coworker?”

Still stunned by Aziraphale’s reaction, Gabriel answered without pausing a moment to ponder whether he should answer that question. “Beelzebub,” he said, like he was answering a question on what kind of tea he preferred.

Ah.

For a few moments Crowley could only stare, the grin frozen on his lips. He was startled out of it by a sound like breaking glass that, he realized rather belatedly, came from inside his own brain.

No. No no no no. Nope. Nope. Abort, abort.

“Angel!” he called out, his voice a little strangled, and went to search for Aziraphale to make him share with him whatever bleach he was now using on his brain. Behind him, Gabriel spoke up.

“Uh, so can I borrow a book--” he tried to ask, but a slamming door was the only reply he got for a good while.

***

“Oh, this is never going to come out…”

Aziraphale sighed, looking down at his waistcoat, whose front was currently drenched with tea. Of course he could miracle it away, with Gabriel no longer in the position of writing him strongly worded letters about frivolous miracles... but he could feel a headache build up just thinking about Gabriel and looking around for a clean napkin was a rather welcomed distraction.

Until Crowley stepped in, eyes wide.

“Beelzebub,” he blurted out, causing Aziraphale to nearly jump out of his skin and frantically look around. God knew, the last thing he needed to deal with was the Lord of the Flies in his bookstore.

“What-- where??”

“No, I mean--” Crowley let out a pained noise, rubbing his eyes like he hoped to get an awful image off his retinas. “It’s about Beelzebub. Gabriel’s research. On pornography.”

Ah.

“Ah,” Aziraphale said. He needed a few moments for what he’d just heard to entirely sink into his brain. When it did, he barely repressed a shudder. “That is… not… what I was expecting.”

“The Archangel Fucking Gabriel and Beelzebub. It’s in my brain now. Can you miracle it away?”

“I’m afraid that goes beyond my abilities,” Aziraphale said, reaching up to put a hand on his own head to calm the building headache. “If your head also hurts something awful, though, I can help with that. If you can get the tea out of my waistco-- oh. Thank you.” He smiled as Crowley took care of that with a snap of his fingers, the other hand still firmly on his eyes.

“You’re welcome. Now, can we throw him whatever book he wants and then throw him out?”

Aziraphale was very much opposed to throwing books, of course, but shoving a pornography book in Gabriel’s hands and firmly showing him the door seemed the best course of action.

***

“... I can explain.”

“No offence, but we’d really rather you do not.”

Gabriel shifted a little, a heavy leather-bound book in his arms. “Right. Well, er… thank you for the book. I’ll return it once I’ve--”

“Feel free to return it whenever. You’re very much welcome,” Aziraphale spoke quickly, and while he didn’t physically shove Gabriel through the door, he very much did get the message that he really wanted him to leave sooner rather than later. “Best of, er, luck. With your research,” he added quickly, and closed the door behind him.

Gabriel stood on the spot a few moments, blinking in slight confusion, but in the end he shrugged it off - maybe he had caught him in a busy moment - and opened the book to have a quick look.

… Huh. Could a mortal’s spine actually do that?

There was laughter, a couple of children running past him, and Gabriel immediately closed the book. Right, right - looking at pornography in public was frowned upon, so he ought to wait until he was back home. On the way back, he’d purchase a pen and notebook.

In case he needed to write something down.

***

Once their research was completed, Beelzebub was still not certain what it was about the act that so many humans found irresistible - but, they had to admit, their curiosity was piqued. Perhaps a carnal act with Gabriel would pave the way for his descent into Hell, perhaps it would not, but either way they would get to know what it precisely was about, so they would be getting something out of it.

The only thing for them to find out was whether Gabriel would be a willing participant, which was a rather important point because they may be the Prince of Hell but they also had standards. And, all things considered, they got the answer to that rather quickly: they couldn’t be many other reasons for Gabriel to be sitting at his desk with an open book full of pornographic images and a notebook half-filled with notes.

At least, they hoped they were not. Beelzebub found that the idea Gabriel might harbor carnal desire for someone else left them distinctly annoyed.

“I can explain,” Gabriel blurted out as soon as he recovered from the mini heart attack Beelzebub’s sudden appearance in flames and smoke had given in. Quick recovery, they had to give him that. “This is, uh-- this is-- research, for--”

“You’ve given my question some thought, I see.”

“Well--” he finally regained composure, and cleared his throat. “I have.”

“And…?”

“I’m not certain I do have those, uh, inclinations, but I’d be open to give it a try. If you’re so inclined,” he added quickly.

“I see,” Beelzebub said, their voice perfectly collected. Inwardly, however, they felt very much like a Jehovah's Witness who’d just been invited inside to talk after knocking: hadn’t really thought they would get that far and had already forgotten just about everything they had planned to do in the event. So they said nothing else, and stared.

Gabriel said nothing else. And stared.

Needless to say, that was not a promising start.

“... Which one?” Beelzebub finally asked.

“Huh?”

“Which set of genitalia.”

“Oh. I have--”

“I know what you have, I have seen you showering. I’m asking which one I should get now.”

“Ah.” Gabriel glanced at the book as though hoping to find an answer there. “Er… either? We can throw a coin,” he muttered, and dug a coin out of his pocket and handed it to them. “Head for penis and--”

Beelzebub threw the coin, caught it, and looked down at it. “Tails.”

“Right. Well--”

“Do not presume for even a moment I will allow you to be above me.”

“I’m not presuming, I just-- what are those?”

“Notes,” Beelzebub muttered, more than slightly irritated at having forgotten their own script. They shuffled through the clue cards they had pulled out of their back pockets, rather wishing their handwriting did not look like a dying fly had dragged itself across the paper after being dunked in ink.

“... Right. So we have come to the agreement we both consent. At this point, we’re supposed to--” they began, and trailed off when Gabriel did the unthinkable.

He laughed.

“What are you-- hey! Stop laughing!” Beelzebub buzzed furiously, their face suddenly really, really hot. They crumpled notes in their fist and glaring up at Gabriel. “Cease this instant!” they ordered, and were a moment away from kicking him in the shin - how dare he laugh at the Lord of the Flies? - when Gabriel spoke, his laugh dying down to a snicker.

“I-- heh. My apologies. I just--” he gestured to the papers crumpled in Beelzebub’s fist, and then at his own notebook on the desk. “One way or another, we end up with paperwork. I suspect humans are more spontaneous about it.”

Beelzebub huffed. “Well, I am not human,” they muttered, but the anger died down, and they crossed their arms. “If you don’t plan by the book, how do you know if you’re getting things right?”

“Well-- sometimes you don’t know. Humans take chances all the time.”

A scoff. “What a disgustingly human thing to say. Is that how your mind operates now?”

“... I do still find it somewhat frightening,” Gabriel said, quietly, and whatever mockery Beelzebub was about to utter next died in their throat. The look he was giving them was surprisingly open, and he looked painfully vulnerable.

In the end, when they spoke, their voice was just as quiet.

“You have no reason to be frightened,” they said, and burned the note in their fist, letting the ashes fall on the floor. “I usually do punish failure, but I’m willing to make you an exception, I suppose.”

A chuckle, and Gabriel lifted a hand, holding it up almost close enough to Beelzebub’s face to touch the skin. “May I?”

“... You may,” they replied. The touch was warm, foreign and familiar at the same time - did he touch their face like that a long time ago, when they were still Ba’al? - and leaning into it, finding out where it all led, was so very tempting. Ironic, considering that they were supposed to be the one doing the tempting and… and…

No.

“Wait.” Beelzebub reached up to brace a hand against Gabriel’s chest, keeping him at a distance. He immediately stopped, and looked down at them in confusion, their faces only inches apart. “There is a chance this may count as a serious sin.”

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Shouldn’t have told him. He’ll call it off.

Gabriel blinked, and the confused expression turned into a smile. “I figured,” he said, and tilted up their chin. “I think I’ll take the chance.”

… Well, they had given him a fair warning, so their conscience was clear. Would have been clear, if they had one. “You’re a fool,” the Prince of Hell informed him.

“I figured that too,” the fool replied.

What followed was a bit messier and significantly more complicated than expected, but given enough time and attempts, they did figure that out as well.

***

A good while after they had both caught their breath and Gabriel’s heart no longer felt like it was trying to burst out of his chest, Beelzebub had yet to say a word.

But they were still there, even if silent, accepting Gabriel’s arms around them and his quiet breathing against the nape of their neck, and he supposed that was a sure sign they had no complaints. In the end, he dared break the peaceful silence.

“Can you stay for the night?” he asked, his voice low.

“I am Prince of Hell. I can do as I wish.”

“... Do you wish to stay for the night?”

“I can’t see why not,” they conceded, causing Gabriel’s lips to curl into a smile. He said nothing, kissing the back of Beelzebub’s shoulder instead. Of course, they could tell he was smiling right away. “What are you smirking about?”

“Well, it was-- pleasant, was it not?”

Gabriel felt their light snort more than he heard it. “Bragging already, are you?” they muttered, and turned in his arms to face him. Their skin was pleasantly warm. “Do I have to remind you who was leading?”

Of course, there was no need. It wasn’t often that Gabriel found himself in the position of having to look up at the Lord of the Flies, and he hadn’t minded the change. He hadn’t minded at all.

“Oh, I never tried to take credit.” Gabriel dropped a kiss on the bridge of Beelzebub’s nose, gaining himself a frown and a buzzing noise - but no attempt at all to shove him off them. He was dimly aware of the fact that there was a folder in Hell bearing his name which perhaps had just gained a sin in red ink, but he found he couldn’t even begin to feel concern.

“Next time,” Beelzebub was saying, “I’ll try the other set of genitalia.”

“Heh. So there will be a next time?”

The Lord of the Flies did shove him at that, flat onto his back, before they rolled on top of him. They propped themselves up on their elbows, which rested on his chest. It wasn’t the most comfortable predicament, but Gabriel’s muscles still felt like cooked asparagus and he wouldn’t have bothered to protest for anything short of being raked over hot coals.

“We both have researched a great deal more than what we have put in practice, and I don’t see why the time spent on it should go to waste,” they said, tilting their head. “Don’t you agree?”

A smile, and Gabriel dared tilt up his head to try and catch their lips again. He missed, and his mouth rested briefly on their throat instead before he pulled them down against his chest.

“I do,” he murmured. “Wholeheartedly.”

***

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” --Jeremiah 17:9

***

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#good omens #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable husbands #archangel gabriel #beelzebub #crowley #aziraphale #winging it

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myhamartiaishubris · 3 years ago

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Hey here's a Love in Between x Nirvana in Fire 2 crossover fic idea that I'm never gonna actually write:

The NiF2 elements are really just there to service the more LiB heavy story because that epilogue keeps nagging me (spoilers under the cut).

LiB and NiF universes are going to be reconciled by really lazy handwaving, aka let's pretend they're neighbouring countries.

Shanshui Du and Langya Ge are sister sects. Shanshui Du was already pretty obviously a pastiche of Langya Ge, plus a lot of the LiB aesthetic seemed to pay homage to NiF (especially 2) so I think this works. It would also make sense that an intelligence network would span nations but might need to change its name so it doesn't seem like it's encroaching too aggressively across borders (idk it makes more sense in my head). Also Wen Siyuan is basically Lin Chen's spiritual successor so (shrug emoji).

Lin Xi is travelling the world for medicinal herbs, just like she was doing at the end of NiF2. This gives her a reason to be in the LiB world, especially at Fangwai Gu since it's a medical sect. Xiao Pingjing can be with her, or he can come after receiving a message from her.

Let's say she arrives at the end of the LiB story, when Zuo Qingci comes back with a fresh stab wound (Su Yunluo should take up embroidery, she seems to really love poking holes in things) and literally two days from dying.

Time for some handwavey justification that the show didn't bother to give us: Lin Xi, being from a different country, has different experiences with poisons/diseases. Even though Zuo Qingci and his master are really experienced physicians, Lin Xi's foreign perspective and lateral thinking (as demonstrated when she's trying to cure Xiao Pingjing's poison) give her an edge.

Also, let's not forget that Su Yunluo still has all those super rare medicine ingredients. Those are probably handy.

And now, time for the illness recovery trope! Lots of coughing up blood, whump, hurt/comfort, etc etc.

While we're at it, let's do a bit of character study as well.

Xiao Pingjing has also been poisoned, lost family, and he's a former prince like Zuo Qingci (the titles are a bit confusing but the point is they're both ex-nobility/ex-military). I want them to have a conversation that really highlights how they foil one another, where Xiao Pingjing shares how he struggled with outliving his brother and father, and they deal with their survivor's guilt together. I want him to tell Zuo Qingci something along the lines of, "The thing about surviving and suffering is that you have to want to live. You have to want to live so, so hard." Also, in this crossover they'd be roughly the same age but Zuo Qingci is an older brother (to Yan Qing) while Xiao Pingjing was the baby of the family, so I think that could create some interesting dynamics, ie for Xiao Pingjing to say something like, "Older brothers are always sacrificing themselves for their siblings. But sometimes the only way to save the younger sibling is to not die for them." Idk, I want Zuo Qingci to go from grudgingly surviving for Su Yunluo to really, desperately wanting to live because he is alive, now. And I want Xiao Pingjing to acknowledge his conflicting feelings about the way his brother died for him.

But the boys can't have all the fun! Time for Lin Xi and Su Yunluo to talk. I think this one will be really interesting because Lin Xi loves Xiao Pingjing but doesn't tie her identity to him, while Su Yunluo has been so lost her entire life that she'll cling to someone as if they decide her fate—first her master, then Zuo Qingci. I want Lin Xi to help Su Yunluo realize that her life is her own, and that cutting out the "I'll die without you" aspect of her love for Zuo Qingci won't actually make her love him less.

Oh yeah and Xiao Pingjing can maybe help Zuo Qingci realize that isolating himself and only making connections to manipulate people for his own ends isn't the healthiest coping mechanism. And like, he should probably just. Be nice to Su Yunluo. Like a proper boyfriend.

Idk just!! Healthy couples!! Because goodness knows LiB desperately needs them (but NiF2 gave us honestly one of the best, healthiest, arguably the most feminist romance).

I was also thinking about a side plot where Pei Wan (you know, the "empress") is put under house arrest because of her father's crimes and Zuo Qingci hatches a plan to break her out. I just think she and Yan Qing had the beginnings of what could be two really clever and interesting characters. Pei Wan especially would probably like to captain her own fate, maybe work for Shanshui Du (even become the next sect leader?) and never, ever marry.

#anyway this idea has been turning in my head for a while now #and i just needed to get it out #i wonder if i'll ever actually write this #seems like too much work tbh #and the fandoms are so small #nif2 doesn't even have its own category on ao3 #love in between #nirvana in fire 2 #nirvana in fire: the wind blows in changlin #nirvana in fire #少年游之一寸相思 #琅琊榜 #琅琊榜2 #琅琊榜之风起长林

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swiftletinthecloud · 4 years ago

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Episode 19

Lol poor Xie Bei Ming! He’s been crushing after Dong Ru Shuang and now when she’s showing interest in him romantically, he’s totally failing to pick up her cues! Seeing him hard at work helping her figuring out the poison and making the antidote for the princess and Su Ci, Ru Shuang comes to sit by him, all smiley and cute with romantic music in the background. And Bei Ming’s like “my heart is beating so fast, is yours doing the same?” All the set up for a kissing scene between them, only for him to ask if their fast heart rate is because they got poisoned! And she’s so annoyed she’s like “yes we got poison so here drink this antidote” and knocks him out! 😂

After learning that Fu Zi You has been guarding outside her chamber day and night since she got poisoned, the princess calls him in to thank him. Before that, her maid asked if she wants to changed into something appropriate first, and she’s like “nah who cares.” And the little half step Fu Zi You takes back and keeping his eyes off of her when he came in and realized she’s not all dressed. Adorable. And the princess is very straightforward too; she tells him straight out later that she likes him even though he’s like he only has his late fiancée in his heart and excused his worry for her out of duty only.

Lol Pei Zhao the mastermind! He’s trying to get the foreign prince to call off the engagement between him and the princess by saying that although he hasn’t sought political power in court, he’s been the target of political schemes like assassinations repeatedly. The recent poisoning of the princess was also aimed at him. Of course the protective older brother’s going to go back to the princess and be like maybe we should break off this engagement, staying here isn’t too safe for you. Lol what he’s not expecting was for his sister to be totally chill about it since she also wanted to ask him to break off the engagement too. The princess tells him that before, she followed his wish to marriage Pei Zhao because she believes he knows best but now she likes someone and knows what it’s like to love someone so she’s only interested in marrying for love. And so the engagement between Pei Zhao and the foreign princess is resolved.

And for her work in getting the poisoner and saving the princess, Su Ci is also released and restated since the Emperor now let women work in governmental organizations like men. All’s well that end well.

Now that the engagement is off, the princess is cured and healthy, and the relation between the two nations is peaceful again, both foreign royals are going home. Before leaving though, the princess had asked for Fu Zi You’s position to be restored as thanks for protecting her while she was there and she even gave him a sword pommel ornament she made since he’d lost the one his late love gave him while chasing after her earlier. Now this is both significant in the fact that she gave him a gift *squeal* but also because we know from earlier that the princess doesn’t really care about those feminine virtues like knowing how to play the zither so her also making Zi You something, SIGNIFICANT!

Ok, for the short time that she’s been around, I really like her. She’s not like other foreign princesses interjected into the drama to cause trouble for our leads and their romance. Sure her presence there helped solve the trouble that Su Ci’s gender reveal caused but she has her own little story and romance with Fu Zi You going on. I really wish she had proper interactions with Su Ci and Dong Ru Shuang on screen because these girls would have been awesome working together. English sub episodes on Youtube haven’t caught up to the episodes she’s introduced yet, but she needs to be named! so I’m just going to refer to her Viet translation name.

Ok back to this scene, not only does she gave him a parting gift, but she’s so mature about love and her feelings too even though before, we see Princess Vân Xuyên as kind of a naive person. She’s like “Yes, I like you, but whether or not you like me back is my problem not yours. I’m not going to force you to return my feelings. My gift to you doesn’t have to be romantic; it can just be a parting gift between friends. I might only like you for the rest of my life or I might learn to like to someone else in the future, who knows.” And with a final “I hope we will meet again,” Princess Vân Xuyên walks out of this story for now. But come on, Zi You! I know you’re still holding on to your feeling for your late love, but you also clearly have some affection for Vân Xuyên as well! Ugh, I really hope their story will be revisited later because I’m rooting for a happy life for them.

Now that there’s no engagement and threat of exposure hanging over either of their heads, Pei Zhao and Su Ci can be as affectionate and open (to a degree) of their relationship as they want! Kisses after being trapped under a bookshelf while investigating who was behind that corrupted official that tried to poison Vân Xuyên! (But like, seriously how does Pei Zhao not realize that his uncle is the one who has been plotting against him!)

Also in this episode, Su Ci finally was able to see the case concerning the murder of her clan and “evidence” of her dad plotting treason, but she’s like “that not exactly how my dad’s handwriting looks like.” Dun dun dun, trouble in the future for our romance and our characters when it’s revealed that Su Ci might have links to “traitors” whose deaths Pei Zhao might be involved in since it was during the time while he was on the battlefield? But dude, we just put one problem behind us so like maybe at least one more soft episode of calm before trouble again, please?

#spoilers #liveblogging #cdrama #maiden holmes #thiếu nữ đại nhân #my screenshots

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melodiouswhite · 5 years ago

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Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde rewritten - Ch. 48

48. Slow recovery

“Good morning, gentlemen! Oh, so gay today?”, Lady Summers observed, when Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde and Mr. Utterson came to her room, grinning at her and her doctor like no tomorrow.

“Indeed”, Dr. Jekyll responded. “But so are you two. If you pardon my indecency, Milady, but I know my friend – you finally talked about you-know-what, didn't you?”

Lady Summers and Lanyon exchanged a glance. Then they realised, that they were still holding hands and chuckled.

“Yes, Doctor”, she finally answered and settled back into the pillows.

Then she let her eyes wander over the trio and frowned. “But as I see, Mr. Hyde didn't listen to my instruction to stay in his room?”

He looked away sheepishly.

“No”, Mr. Utterson confirmed with a hint of frustration, “He crawled into ours and woke us up at three in the morning.”

Dr. Jekyll nodded.

Mr. Hyde threw his arms up. “Oh come on! I didn't want to fuck or anything!”

“Really?”, Jekyll interrupted sourly, “Then how come you couldn't keep your hands off me, when Gabriel and I were trying to sleep?!”

“Oh shut up, you miserable hypocrite! You couldn't keep your hands off me either!”

Lady Summers sighed and pinched her nose. “This kind of nonsense is why I didn't want you two to share a room. Mr. Hyde, just a friendly reminder, this is my house. And I'd rather not have to deal with the noise you two make, when you do … well, that. I would never be able to get them – or the images – out of my head, which I'd rather avoid, thank you very much.”

Mr. Utterson blinked. “What do you mean?”

Her dear doctor answered no-nonsensically: “These hypersexual bitches are loud.”

The looks on Dr. Jekyll's and Mr. Hyde's faces were so priceless that Lady Summers doubled over with laughter.

Poor Mr. Utterson almost fell from his chair, but somehow that made her laugh even harder.

As a result she spat blood, but that was worth it!

Oh, hanging out with these men was better than any burlesque!

“So you two are officially together now?”, Utterson asked, as soon as everyone had calmed down.

The Lady chuckled. “Well, only officially to you, but yes.”

“That's wonderful!”, he cried, “I'm so happy for you!”

“Thank you, Gabriel”, Lanyon replied warmly.

But Jekyll was feeling a light sting in his chest.

He was happy for them, he really, genuinely was.

But it was bittersweet.

Lanyon was happier with her than he'd ever been with him. And he deserved it, God knew he did! But it had taken so long for him to find that happiness, because he had wasted fifteen years of his life on him. Jekyll would probably never fully comprehend, how Lanyon had been able to put up with him for this long in the first place.

Lady Summers' voice brought him back to the moment. “Now, now, Dr. Jekyll. Let's not look back on our past relationships.”

“On one thing we have to look back, though”, Utterson spoke up. “What those people did to you is unforgivable.”

She nodded grimly. “I know it's unforgivable. And I certainly haven't forgiven them a single thing. And to think that it first happened in 1845, where people died from surgeries more often than they recovered-”

“That's only one thing”, Jekyll spoke up. “Notwithstanding your miraculous survival, only to be robbed of your dreams and crippled for the rest of your life – pardon my language, Milady.”

“Don't worry, no offence is taken”, she assured him. “I am technically a cripple, after all. Since-”

Another fit of blood spitting only served to confirm that statement.

“Since I suffer from this, because of all the things they did to me.”

“I have a question, though”, Hyde spoke up. Then he corrected himself. “Wait, no. It's two.”

She answered them, before they were even spoken: “I managed to fight you off that one night, because of my rigorous training. After our match I was indisposed for a week, but my condition would be a lot worse without the training. Learning to control my belly muscles was quite helpful, actually. If it wasn't for that I'd likely be quite dead by now.”

“Speaking of your condition”, Mr. Utterson spoke up. “We need to talk about pressing charges against your attacker.”

She raised a brow. “Baron Cleranescu? I don't think that will be necessary, considering he made a fool of himself and will never be able to show his face on British soil again. This is the worst thing you can do to someone belonging to the upper class.”

“He must face justice!”, Utterson insisted angrily, “You said yesterday night, that it's worse than usual and I will not accept the prospect of him hiding away and moping in some old castle in Rumania, while you're suffering from internal injuries! Not on my watch! I bet he wouldn't have dared to do this, if you were Lord and not Lady Summers!”

Oh right. Jekyll always forgot how adamant his love was about women's rights.

Lady Summers gaped at him.

Then she chuckled. “No, he definitely wouldn't have. He's as misogynistic as most men are, if not more.”

“That much was clear”, Hyde threw in, “I was there, I heard it all. She handed his arse to him with each sentence she spoke! Then he talked shit about Lanyon and his own wife, the Lady informed him that she's cheating on him with the king of Rumania and he lost it.”

Jekyll's jaw dropped. That bastard had kicked her in the abdomen – right where her weakest spot was – just because she had told him that his wife favoured another man?!

“I have an idea”, Hyde continued, “How about instead of suing him, we sic Alma onto him? She would love to-”

“Did somebody say my name?”, the very person asked, as she walked into the room to the Lady's bedside and took her hand.

“How are you feeling, Luise?”, she asked worriedly.

The Prussian chuckled. “Well, I'm spitting blood and my abdomen hurts, but apart from that, I'm fine.”

“It's that bastard's fault”, Miss Donovan snarled, “I'll cut his junk off and shove it into his mouth, before setting him on fire!”

“Sounds good, I'll help you”, Hyde agreed nonchalantly.

“No!”, Lady Summers spoke firmly. “You will do nothing of that sort. You will not get violent on me. Be the better person-”

“To hell with being the better person!”, Miss Donovan snapped, “I don't give a damn! That bastard hurt you and your health is already fragile! He must suffer! At least let me castrate him!”

Lady Summers frowned. “Give it one month and see what will happen.”

The red-haired girl huffed, but nodded.

Still before the evening all of London knew of the incident at the gala.

A foreigner had attacked and gravely injured one of the most high-ranking aristocrats of England, who was now bed-bound.

The Prince and Princess of Wales had requested that he be stripped of his rank and diplomatic immunity and the ambassador of Rumania had already complied.

The baron had already fled London.

Lanyon wasn't satisfied with that. He wanted the bastard to suffer for hurting his Lady. He wanted him to writhe in agony and beg for mercy.

“Now, now”, Lady Summers spoke up, when she saw him frown at the punchline on the newspaper. “Things need their time. Now that he no longer has his diplomatic immunity, he can be charged for his crimes. And if it doesn't happen in England, it'll be in Rumania.”

Lanyon hoped that she was right, he really did.

Lady Summers was unable to leave her bed for two weeks.

So when Lanyon allowed her to get up briefly and move around in a wheelchair, she was ecstatic.

It was a wonderful day, so she used the opportunity to get some fresh air.

“I really would love to go outside again”, she said. “And I hope that I won't be assaulted by a bunch of news reporters, who want an interview. Jesus Christ, I never asked for all this hustle!”

Mr. Utterson opened the window and looked outside. “I don't see any out there”, he told her.

She nodded in satisfaction. “Good. Perhaps I will enjoy just a few moments in the park, between all the people who recognise me and ask what happened.”

Dr. Jekyll lifted an eyebrow. “Considering how prominent you are? I doubt that.”

The Prussian huffed: “Crush my hopes, why don't you!”

Unfortunately, it turned out that Dr. Jekyll was right.

The group needed ages to get to the park; Lanyon had to stop the Lady's wheelchair every thirty feet, because someone recognised her and inquired after her wellbeing.

But finally they made it there and by the time it was forenoon, when most people were at home or at work.

“Perhaps it was good that it took us so long to get here”, Lady Summers remarked, “I love when the park is so empty.”

“I reckon you do”, her dear doctor remarked.

“And I can't sense anyone stalking us”, she continued cheerfully, “I think this will truly be a good day!”

Mr. Hyde cleared his throat, making her turn her head. “About that … I was wondering …”

“Yes?”

“Should Jekyll and I be worried too? That …”

“Absolutely.”

Maybe not the most reassuring answer, but they all knew that it was true.

The organisation was hunting for test subjects and if they found out the truth about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde …

The two needed to watch their backs in the near future.

“I have a question too”, Dr. Jekyll spoke up. “Those strange friends you mentioned … do they really live here in London?”

Lady Summers nodded. “Oh yes! They live in Soho, actually. Not that far away from Mr. Hyde's flat. I'm sure he passed by their house several times, without knowing.”

She chuckled fondly and shook her head. “You would like them, Dr. Jekyll. They're a lot like you.”

The blond doctor chuckled as well. “You attract people like me, don't you?”

“Somehow I do”, she replied nonchalantly and shrugged. “But you know what? I think I should introduce you four to them. I have told them a lot about you and am sure that they would love to meet you as well.”

Dr. Jekyll beamed at her. “I would love to meet them!”

“Same here”, Mr. Hyde agreed, “I'd be delighted to learn whose house I passed by without knowing.”

The other two men nodded as well.

Lady Summers was quite pleased at that. “Perfect. I will send them a note and inquire, if they receive.”

#The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde #Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde #Dr. Jekyll #henry jekyll #Mr. Hyde #edward hyde #Mr Utterson #Gabriel John Utterson #utterson #Hastie Lanyon #dr lanyon #oc

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a-cai-jpg · 5 years ago

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if you’ll stay with me, we can rewrite the rules of the universe

"does she have to go away? can't they just live together happily?" - director son, melo is my nature

there's an idiom in chinese that i think about a lot.

天下没有不散的酒席

the first time i heard it, it was season 2 of a drama i loved as a kid--three years old, sitting too close to an old, heavy color television, my cousin warm by my elbow, and my grandmother's voice drifting in from the kitchen.

(it's a technicolor memory, filtered a little yellow with age.)

season 3 of this drama is something i try to never watch.

first of all, they changed the cast, and even though leo ku is a beautiful man, he couldn't replace the legend, alec su.

(we don't talk about the new female lead.)

second of all, shit hits the fan and the character i loved the most becomes the character i hated the most.

third of all,

the idiom becomes true.

(there is no such thing as a banquet that never ends.)

see, the drama is about two girls who meet each other in historical beijing and become sworn sisters despite being polar opposites of each other. where one is gentle and demure, the other is reckless and brash. one of them (guess which?) happens to be the long-lost daughter of the sitting emperor. the other girl promises to help her reach her father. after a series of unfortunate events, the emperor crowns the wrong girl as princess. season 1 is about the fake princess sneaking the real princess into the palace, their struggles with palace life and figuring out a way for the emperor to recognize his real daughter without executing his fake one, and them falling in love--one with the 5th prince and the other with a son of a palace official.

eventually, the misunderstandings are addressed, and the emperor realizes he loves both girls too much to have harm come to either of them, so he recognizes both as his daughters. more things happen, but eventually, the two girls get married, and it's happily ever after.

BUT.

but they decided to make a season 3.

(in hindsight, it makes sense, because the non-blood related princess could have never lived a happy life caged in the palace, but it's nice to dream ok)

season 3 ends with the non-blood related princess and the prince she marries (my childhood crush) leaving the palace for good, and thereby giving up the throne, to live in yunnan. many, many years later, a carriage arrives at their tea field, and it's the emperor visiting them during the last years of his very long reign.

even writing this really poorly-articulated synopsis can bring me to tears. it's not an ending i can watch without crying.

(i can still see the ending in my mind's eye. the scarf around her hair, the basket of tea leaves by her side, the sound of children laughing and the carriage rolling to a stop. they see erkang first. yongqi and xiao yanzi greet him and their laughter is wild from happiness. but then erkang lifts the curtain to the carriage, and the emperor steps down from the coach.)

(the moment yongqi drops to his knees and says 皇阿玛 is usually when i start bawling.)

(the end end is them riding the carriage together, singing, and the words 全剧终 appear on screen, and you can almost fool yourself into believing that the carriage just continues on until they are back in the palace, ten years into the past.)

i like endings where everyone stays in one place.

senior year of high school, i watched a drama where the ending was a group of friends, who had bound together to conquer evil, literally all going their own ways and the main character dying, and i was so traumatized, i cried for three hours, shakily typing up my english essay through a curtain of tears until 6am in the morning.

when i finally went to bed the following night, i rewrote the ending in my head.

maybe because i was so tired, or maybe because the pain was too raw and not something i wanted to face, i managed to convince my sleep-addled brain that the drama actually ended with the female lead gathering the remnants of the male lead's soul, finding an elder in the snow-capped mountains (which is the setting where the drama leaves us), bringing him back to life, and the two of them returning home, where their friends have gathered to welcome him back.

this remains my most successful daydream yet (nightdream?), because i can still see the fabricated scenes play out in my head, the imagined emotions on the actor's faces, the ghost of a soundtrack playing in the background.

there's still a very, very large part of me that likes for everyone to stay in one place.

but maybe it's getting used to reality, or maybe it's me viscerally feeling how difficult it is to stay in a place for too long, i've slowly started to accept people dispersing.

i used to not understand those scenes in dramas where old friends who have moved away come to visit the main character for just one afternoon, because in my head, i would always think wow, i would've had them stay. my friends would've stayed the week.

but see, time doesn't move in a way that lets us stroll in the past for a very long time. now, i'm grateful for the hours taken out of a night to meet with familiar faces and make plans for a future we know might not happen. i swallow the faint wrenching feeling when we bid goodbye, and continue my own solitary journey home, and through life.

but in the end, we move through the world alone and with nothing.

there's still a very, very large part of me that likes for everyone to stay in one place, but i'm guilty of leaving.

you'd think after four years, i'd be used to not knowing what home is, but i'm still a little scared of going away.

i don't know what i'll do with my room when i do. i don't know what to do with the posters on the walls (magazines cut-outs from high school still posted above the living room desk that has long not been mine), or my mountain of books that spill into every room in the house, or my keyboard sitting heavily above my bureau, or my guitar stashed by my closet, or my upright.

i don't know when i'll play my upright again, and that thought in itself really hurts.

i used to do this thing where i count the number of hours i'll be able to spend time with another person. i used to do it with my grandparents and it's honestly the most painful exercise of all time.

i try not to do it now, and as i write this, i'm actively pushing the process out of my mind, because i know i'll be able to calculate the number of hours left i can live in this house.

in my final story for my creative writing project, someone says this to the main character, "You were banking on us to preserve this idealistic vision of the past--to stay the same--so that when you got tired of being an adult, you could return home to us. But, we were growing too. Maybe we were growing in tandem with each other, but out of sync with you."

this is a line buried in the text among many other sentences that i think are a lot more beautiful. but, this is the line that took me over two weeks to write. for the first time, i tried to put the anxiety and regret i felt for four years into words.

(that sort of reckoning is akin to pulling out your chordae tendineae through your esophagus and wrestling them into something worth presenting to the world.)

see, i want to experience the world, get to know foreign lands over the period of a couple of years, call the hidden corners of large cities home, visit mountain tops and build a life there, but i don't want the world to change.

part of it is because if it does, i'll never get to know the world. the japan i'll see in the future will never be the japan i saw last year and the japan i missed this year.

part of it is because life is a long, tiresome process of getting used to the new. as i grow up and out of this two-story condo, i am constantly having to digest this larger, more nuanced picture of the world. but, sometimes i get tired and i want to fall back on something familiar.

sometimes, that something familiar changes, and you're left utterly, completely alone.

i'm more used to this process now. i'm no longer so bothered by it that i balk at the idea of my parents moving.

i still feel unsettled when i think about the coming four years and the years after that and the notion that really, this bed i'm sleeping in is not going to be my bed anymore.

and this time, it seems like it will be permanent.

i was watching this variety show with a singer i like very much yesterday night, laughing and crying, and wrote this next bit in chinese.

i'll translate it here.

hua chenyu is a very peculiar existence in my heart.

i don't particularly love his voice, but i view his music as a sort of standard for all pop music. he has changed a lot since 2013, when he first debuted, but he still has this aura of aloofness, maybe because of his single-minded obsession with music.

but, when i saw him lift his head to look at his college bandmates on a large screen, over a webcam, the love and happiness in his slightly reddened eyes were indisputable. in that moment, the look of nostalgia and wistfulness in his gaze suddenly made me think that he's grown up a little, aged a little.

(this following part i wrote in english)

they performed a song they used to play a lot in college over some sort of webcamming interface.

but, see, there is a difference.

i used to think that it didn't matter how far away my friends were from me, because technology has taken distance and shrunken it to a few lines of text or a phone call. but, there's something irreplaceable about the voice of a person you love without the tinny grain of the mic, about the warmth of another someone next to you that you can lean against.

sometimes, we are lucky and for a few years of our lives, we have someone who can understand the messy scrawl over a few pages of our stories. sometimes, we are lucky, and that someone takes up chapters and arcs.

(isn't that a very nice thought.)

(华晨宇在我心中是一个很神奇的存在。我并不是特别喜欢他的声音，可是我就是会以他的音乐为目标，为典范。他从2013年刚开始参加快男到现在变了很多。但他一直有一种拒人于千里之外的感觉，也许是因为他对音乐的执着。可是当我看见他抬头看着在屏幕上的大学乐队成员。。。他泛红眼里的爱和快乐是不可忽视的。在那一瞬间他眼中的留恋突然让我觉得他好像长大了一点，老了一点。)

(i'm like weirdly proud because i couldn't have written this two years ago. see, reading in a different language really helps you learn that language. too bad my students never LiStEnEd.)

(i realize i talk about this creative writing story a lot. it's because it is my story. the story of me and my largest 心结. something like that.)

(maybe i'll post it one day.)

(or maybe not.)

song rec: kevin oh - mortifying love

glossary: the first drama mentioned is 还珠格格 (princess returning pearl erkang = son of the palace official, married to the blood related princess yongqi = 5th prince, one of the most tragic existences in chinese history xiao yanzi = the princess returning pearl, the non-blood related princess, married to yongqi 皇阿玛 = in the qing dynasty, princes and princesses who were sons and daughters of the emperor had to call their father by this greeting 全剧终 = the end the second drama mentioned is 古剑奇谭·(legend of the ancient sword) 心结 = literally, heart knot. i don’t know how to translate it, but i liken it to the freudian concept of a fixation...?

#i feel like everything i write is so depressing #maybe i should just talk about the things i like #maybe the next post is going to be me talking about my top 9 picks for youth with you 2

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vicehectic · 6 years ago

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Manga I Read on the Reg

This is just a collection of manga I read regularly whenever they come out.

1. Boku no Hero Academia

Most of you know what this is. In a world where 80% of the population has these special abilities called “quirks”, our main character is part of the 20% that doesn’t have a quirk. The problem is, Midoriya Izuku, hero fanboy and enthusiast, has desperately wanted to be a hero since childhood. Without a quirk, Midoriya is discriminated enough as it is and everyone around him is telling him he can’t become a hero. But Midoriya refuses to give up and prepares for his future in order to become a hero. As high school entrance exams draw near, Midoriya is losing hope but in one miraculous encounter with Japan’s Number 1 hero, Midoriya is given an opportunity to obtain a quirk and pursue his dream to become a hero.

I’m going to be honest. When I first started to hear about Boku no Hero Academia, I avoided it. I was already in too many fandoms and decided that with all that I had to do in my life: it wasn’t worth it. I pushed it away for later or potentially never. The most I did was click on a couple clips advertising BNHA and decided from those short clips that I despised Bakugou Katsuki. He was the classic bully character that I didn’t need reminders of. He’s the type of person I hate most in the world. I weighed the ethics and morality of this fantasy world way too heavily and moved on. Then, one day, having broken my ankle and forced to stay off it; I decided to read the Boku no Hero Academia manga in it’s entirety in one sitting. Since then I haven’t missed a new release. I think the reason I was so attracted to this series was how much it made me think of Katekyo Hitman Reborn which is one of my favorite franchises. I wanted to see more of a nervous and unsure main character despite being a badass and Boku no Hero Academia has certainly given me that.

This has an anime up to season 3 and a movie. Season 4 and a second movie has also been announced!

2. Haikyuu!!

One of the only sports manga! Haikyuu follows Hinata Shouyo, a short teenage boy entering his first year of high school aspiring to be the volleyball team’s ace despite almost never competing before, and Kageyama Tobio, a genius setter who has previously been abandoned by his teammates. Now, it’s not exactly that cut and dried. Hinata, despite being a nervous wreck and an idiot at times, along with practically being a beginner at playing volleyball with a real team, has incredible athletic ability. The only thing he can really do is jump and at the beginning of his high school career he takes to spiking with his eyes closed. Kageyama is a genius with a terrible personality. His insecurities after being abandoned make him standoffish to nearly everyone, but he always pulls through when aiming his set exactly to where Hinata will hit it. The team they join are full of fun and vibrant characters that have the title of the fallen crows because their school’s team has “fallen from glory”. It’s a typical sports manga with lovable characters and interesting relationships.

I also avoided reading Haikyuu when my friends started talking about it. I had already invested so much time into reading The Prince of Tennis and I didn’t want to get sucked into another fandom. I caved of course. The characters just seemed so fresh and new to me. It was less about the volleyball and more about how the characters interacted with each other. I actually started reading Haikyuu because of two videos on youtube that I believe no longer exist. The first was a compilation of each jump serve layered on top of each other and for each second the character serving would change and it was like art. The second was a compilation of Iwaizumi and Oikawa bickering. That really sold me.

This manga has an anime up to season 3! Season 4 has also been announced!

3. Akatsuki no Yona

God I love her. Akatsuki no Yona follows the sheltered princess of the Kyouka Kingdom, Yona. Yona has lived her entire life within the gates of Hiryuu Castle with her cousin Su-won, her bodyguard Hak, and her father: the King. All Yona wants in her future is to marry Su-won, despite her father’s insistence that she will not. The night of her 16th birthday, however, she discovers Su-won over her father’s body, pulling a sword out of his corpse. She escapes the castle with Hak and after gathering herself after her father’s death and cousin’s betrayal she visits a priest that tells her to find the four legendary dragon warriors. Kyouka has a legend, in which the first king was a red dragon in human form and was accompanied with four warriors with his dragon brothers’ blood. Yona, with the priest believing she is the reincarnation of the red dragon, sets off with Hak and the priest’s companion to find the dragon warriors.

I was hooked on Yona the moment it came out. I watched the anime like five times and when I realize there wouldn’t be a second season I read the manga. I’ve said this before in another post but Yona isn’t just a shoujo manga. The main character is a strong inspirational female character trying her best to fix the country that declared her dead. The romance is sweet but also awfully comedic. The fight scenes and the dramatic scenes are intense and draw you in. But just like any other manga, it’s the characters and the relationships that drew me in. Besides Hak and Yona’s thing they’re avoiding talking about; everyone else acts like siblings just trying to stay together the best they can and help anyone they can along the way. The dragon dynamic is hilarious, the backstories are sad, the romance is soft, and the bishounen is a genius.

This manga has one anime season!

4. Yakusoko no Neverland

The ultimate mind fuck. The orphans at the Grace Field House live peaceful lives with each other and their beloved Mama. It’s one big happy family. They spend the days like any other family would; breakfast, mind-wracking tests, tag, dinner, and rinse and repeat. But even to the children, somethings seem strange. They’re never allowed to venture beyond the gate that surrounds them like a ring in the forest around the house. By the time they reach the age 12, they have to leave their little house. The children that have left never write to them, despite promising they would. The story follows main characters Ray, Norman, and Emma as they find out the secret behind their little house and try to somehow change their pitiful fate.

So, this is another manga I decided to read in one day. A friend and I decided that since the anime would be coming out soon we would read the manga together in one go. Needless to say we were nearly dead after reading through all of it. So much happens in this that you’re like “what just happened” despite having just read it. You literally have to expect the unexpected when it comes to Neverland. This series would be ruined if I said anymore but the fact that these children can go through that and still smile and have hope despite the odds against them makes my heart warm.

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

5. The Rising of the Shield Hero

The one that makes you angry almost immediately. According to legend, the holders of the four heavenly weapons are the heroes that will save Melromarc from the calamity that come in waves to the world. Iwatani Naofumi is just a normal university student when he picks up a book that transports him to another world. It’s entirely by bad luck that he’s given the role of the disregarded Shield Hero who can only wield shields and is ultimately useless offensively in battle. What’s even worse is that the companion who joined him at the start of his journey accused him of raping her and he’s been scorned by the kingdom and all its inhabitants since. The world seems so dark and Naofumi doesn’t want anything to do with the other heroes and incoming waves of calamity. The light in his life returns when he enslaves a sickly and depressed demi-human to fight for him. Raphtalia soon finds her master isn’t scary or cruel and becomes determined to make sure no one will suffer as she once did as a child while making sure Naofumi knows he is loved and appreciated by at least one person.

God when I first read this I was so mad. Naofumi didn’t deserve any of this, especially when the arrogant king summoned him to fight a battle he had nothing to do with. The same friend introduced Shield-bro to me and practically begged I read it. Yes we call it Shield-bro, it’s a thing. Look up Shield-bro on google and this will come out. It’s just a different sort of isekai where instead of being the hero that’s being praised - you get a real person getting accused of a real crime he didn’t commit. He’s been handed the short end of the stick just for being the Shield Hero no one appreciates. He’s literally the underdog in everything. You just want to root for Naofumi. It’s a really good stress reliever.

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

6. Isekai Omotenashi Gohan

This one is so softtttt. Our main character and her little sister gets their literal house transported to a different world. Oh and their dog comes too! Their Japanese home is transported in front of a luxurious foreign-looking castle in which people greet Akane and her little sister, Hiyori, claiming to have summoned the priestess that will save their world from the miasma. Hiyori is delighted and starts her training as the priestess, but Akane has nothing to do as a normal office worker and their home’s homemaker in this new world. After spending a month feeling useless, Hiyori comes to plead her sister for her cooking - starting Akane’s adventure in cooking classic Japanese staples that somehow attracts the attention of the Knight Commander of the Chivalric Order, the King, the kingdom’s princesses and much more. That is, of course, while teaching her knight guard Jade how to cook as well.

This isn’t very long and updates rarely but it’s so cute. All the antics are just so cute. The food is amazing and it’s just a story about how food brings everyone together. It’s masterful and done well. But it’s also not just a cooking story. Akane and Hiyori both struggle with Hiyori being the world’s priestess and her encountering danger. The sisterly bond is great in this one.

7. Koushaku Reijou no Tashinami

If you can’t tell I’m really into Isekai. This manga follows another regular office worker, but she’s really into otome games. Our main character dies from a car crash and when she wakes up she is in the footsteps of the villainess, Iris Lana Armelia, from a game she had just completed, in the middle Iris’ judgement scene from the love interests because Iris harassed the game’s main character: Yuuri. The original fate of Iris, after losing her engagement from the prince and being exposed of harassment in front of her whole school, leads to a miserable life at a church. Iris, this time around, as an efficient office worker from Japan, gets sent by the Duke, her father, to care for their territory’s fief as fief lord. From there Iris, along with her loyal companions and friends, care for the fief with all of Iris’ knowledge from Japan with plenty of bumps along the way from the game’s love interests and Yuuri. Yuuri may not be the sweet video game protagonist she is thought to be.

So, one day, I had read through most everything and I wanted a little bit of romance in my life. And while this didn’t originally have the romance I wanted, it still piqued my interest. The real appeal to this is how strong Iris is as a character. She doesn’t take shit from anyone and holds her head up with pride. But in the times she is weak she has supportive friends that would do anything for her in a heartbeat. Another appealing factor is how technical and political this manga is. The manga describes real life things to improve the fief such as a banking system and taxation, but also gets political with the two factions of the two princes. It’s a good mix a strong female lead, economics, politics, royalty, and friendship.

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

8. That Time I got Reincarnated as a Slime (Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken)

More isekai! Just like most isekai main characters, our main character is a simple corporate worker who lives a normal life in Tokyo. Unfortunately, after pushing his friend out of the way of an assailant on the street, our MC dies while hearing a strange voice responding to his dying thoughts. When our MC wakes up he discovers that he is now a slime in a new world and discovers a dragon in the cave he woke up, befriends him, and receives the name Rimuru Tempest. Strangely, Rimuru has abilities that a normal slime would not have - the most notable being his ability to devour anything and mimic its appearance and abilities. Rimuru starts his journey after escaping the cave and one thing leads to another and suddenly there are a bunch of monsters calling him “Master” and “Rimuru-sama” and Rimuru is the head of a monster country.

I normally don’t like OP characters, but I strangely find Rimuru okay. Rimuru has plenty of over powered characteristics and abilities but Rimuru’s personality and demeanor makes it tolerable. It’s just fun seeing how everyone underestimates Rimuru because he’s a slime. Rimuru is also very morally aligned, in that he’s very clear with his desires and doesn’t tolerate it if the line is crossed.

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

9. I Reincarnated into an Otome Game as a Villainess with Only Destruction Flags

EVEN MORE ISEKAI! We follow Katarina Klaus who hits her head and awakens the memories of her past life as a seventeen year old girl in Japan. Katarina Klaus, however, is the haughty aristocrat villainess in a fantasy otome game with swords and magic. Having recovered her memories, Katarina cannot find it in herself to act the same as the old Katarina as she finds aristocratic society a pain. Unfortunately for Katarina, according to the game, death or exile awaits her for each and every route. Katarina decides the best thing to do is somehow protect herself by improving her magic and swordsmanship to escape the death flags. What follows are antics of farming to enhance her magical ability and her unintentional wooing of the game’s love interests. Oblivious and focused on matching the love interests to the game’s main character while avoiding a destruction flag, Katarina doesn’t notice how everyone, even the game’s main character falls for her. Farming, failed match-making, admiration from all sides, and a panicking main character awaits you.

This is another one that I found looking for romance. This is more of a comedy isekai more than anything. Sure there’s magic and other abilities but the manga doesn’t focus on that. The manga focuses more on the strangeness that is Katarina as she is now. I would have never expected to find an isekai manga MC have a hobby in farming. The way Katarina is so oblivious to everyone falling for her is also pretty great.

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

10. The Saint’s Magic Ability is Omnipotent (Seijo no Maryoku wa Bannou desu)

God how much isekai do I read? Sei, a regular office worker, was suddenly summoned to another world by a saint summoning ritual with another girl she does not recognize. The prince of this country, despite there being two girls summoned to their world, completely ignores Sei and declares the other girl is the saint who will save the country from the miasma, without confirming his claim. Sei, outraged, demands that because she is apparently not the saint that she be sent back home but is told it is impossible. Sei lives a comfortable but restless life at the castle, having gotten used to the grueling work style of Japan. While exploring the castle she becomes interested in potion making. Her magic is overly effective to everything she does and creates without her meaning to - even her food gives people more energy. As time goes on, more and more people come to respect Sei’s good deeds and starts to think she is the saint while the girl parading around with the country’s prince is a fake. Sei, knowing she is the saint, only wants to live a quiet life creating potions.

This one is just so precious because of how amazing Sei is without meaning to. She knows she is the saint but doesn’t want to admit it. It’s also really fun seeing how she interacts with the other characters. Sei isn’t used to praise or romantic attention. A lot of things are new to her in this new world but all she wants to do is be useful in her own way.

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

11. The White Cat That Swore Vengeance Was Just Lazing on the Dragon King’s Lap

This is sadly relatable. Ruri has forcibly been friends her neighbor Asahi for years. Ruri is the beautiful daughter to a foreign model and a diplomat of Japan. If you were to look up the definition of beauty in a dictionary, Ruri’s picture would be there. Platinum blonde hair, blue eyes, elegant Japanese features and all. Asahi, meanwhile, has been coddled and loved throughout her whole life because her approachable nature and cuteness that no one except for Ruri seems immune to. Everything Asahi does is somehow blamed on Ruri, even when she isn’t directly involved. Everyone is on Asahi’s side. Having tried to escape Asashi and the negativity of those around her on multiple occasions, Ruri has realized that Asahi is willing to follow her everywhere no matter what Ruri tries. While on campus at her university with Asahi; she, Asahi, and a couple of Asahi’s friends/admirers get transported to another world via magic and everyone rushes to Asahi calling her the lady priestess. Ruri, seeing this as her chance to escape Asahi, is told she is an idiot for thinking she could return to her own world. Almost immediately all those in the Kingdom of Nadarsia hate Ruri because Asahi herself keeps clinging to Ruri while ignoring them. Without Asahi’s knowledge they kick Ruri off the hidden forest and Ruri finds herself in the care of a kind, yet ugly, old lady from the dragon kindgom who takes care of her and teaches her about the magic the fairies grant in this world. Surprisingly, the fairies are seem to gather around Ruri and adore her. When Ruri has gotten used to this world she visits the dragon kingdom on her own, gets scared and wears an ancient bracelet given to her by a powerful fairy that allows her to turn into a cat and is given the title “Cherished One” and meets the Dragon King who falls in love with her cat form. Cue title and roll credits!

I say this is relatable because of a toxic frienship I once had. I broke it off with a friend and for a long time things were awkward among my other friends and a lot of people kept insisting that we would make up someday despite me not wanting that. These friends now have realized that it was a lot more than that and funnily enough they have broken it off with her as well. But this is a cute story about a victim finally getting her vengeance and the love and praise she deserves. There’s also cute cat antics and a sprinkle of romance in it.

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

12. Boku no Hero Academia: Vigilantes

A very familiar title to another one on this list! In a world where 80% of the population has these special abilities called “quirks”, our main character is part of the 80% that does have a quirk. Unfortunately, not everyone is blessed with a quirk such as fire manipulation or engines in their bodies to fight crime. Himawari Koichi has the quirk known as “Slide and Glide”, giving him the average ability to slide over plain surfaces. Despite this, Koichi has always wanted to be hero and admires Number 1 Hero All Might as his role model. Despite not being a hero, Koichi uses his quirk in public areas, breaking quirk regulation laws, to get to his destination quickly and hates said restrictions. After a series of events Koichi decides to use his quirk, while wearing an All Might hoodie, to do good deeds for the public - all simple things. All he ever does for awhile is give directions, clean up litter, or return dropped items while utilizing his quirk. But things become dangerous when he meets freelance idol Pop☆Step and a quirkless, yet powerful, old man known as Knuckleduster and they somehow become vigilantes for their neighborhood while getting deeply involved in a quirk improvement drug known as Trigger.

This is what I wanted Boku no Hero Academia to be when I first read BNHA. I wanted a quirkless character fighting crime with their own power. I have to admit I was disappointed when Deku got his quirk. The setting of Vigilantes (or Illegals) is before the BNHA timeline. Eraserhead has yet to become a teacher at UA and the original Ingenium is still running around. We get to see an other side of the heroes we love and hate and get to see how vigilantism effects this quirk filled world. Koichi, while also being an All Might fanboy is different from Deku. Pop☆Step is a cute tsundere idol who is still trying to climb the popularity ranks. Knuckleduster is a mysterious man who fights crime with his own justice and abilities. It’s an eye opener to another aspect of the BNHA world.

13. Bloom into You (Yagate Kimi Ni Naru)

The romance that isn’t supposed to be? Koito Yuu is a first year in high school who enjoys reading Shoujo manga. The problem(?) is that she doesn’t understand the feeling of love. Nanami Touko is a third year at the same high school that Yuu unintentional watches get confessed to but Touko refuses. Yuu gets recruited in helping the student council that Touko is a part of and realizes that Touko is the same as her. No matter how many people confess to either of them, be it one or dozens, they will never feel anything when it happens. Yuu goes to Touko for help, realizing that they are the same and gets advice to reject someone who confessed to her at her middle school graduation. But immediately after, Touko confesses that if it was Yuu, she could fall in love with her. What results is a story of a not-so romance and a refreshing coming of age story.

This is one messed up romance story. Like the relationship Koito Yuu and Nanami Touko have is so messed up. The upside to this story is that it talks about homosexuality and asexuality with so much lax that it’s refreshing. This manga is cute and entertaining at times and the romance is unorthodox. The character backstories are interesting and heartbreaking and the way the characters interact with each other are interesting. You won’t see what happens in this manga in most manga you come across.

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

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todobaku-shoukat · 5 years ago

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The Rebirthed Prince’s Counter-Attack (1/?)

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19416985/chapters/46581322

Prev Chapter: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19416985/chapters/46208515

Prev Arc: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18906280

When Bakugou comes to, he is getting married. To the Emperor of the Hong Empire. While wearing a traditional wedding dress for female concubines. What the ever-loving fuck? Bakugou thinks. This is not the wedding he was looking forward to. However, in order to stay in character, Bakugou has to carry on with the wedding, all whilst trying to figure out what is going on. At the very least, Bakugou thinks, the wedding ceremony is almost over. He transmigrated after the actual getting married part, so he isn’t technically the one who got married. Bringing forth the foreign memories to understand which character he is, Bakugou realises something terrible. Most concubines didn’t have weddings with the Emperor. Only those who have strong family backgrounds tend to have weddings, especially if the Emperor really favoured the concubine. And as the Grand Chancellor’s daughter, Bakugou definitely deserved a proper wedding.

Realising that he is currently Su Mi, Bakugou wants to escape immediately. Isn’t Su Mi a woman? In order to fit the character, does that mean that Bakugou no longer has his… No, Bakugou refuses to think like this. There’s nothing wrong with being a woman, but Bakugou has a strong attachment to his dick. Worried, Bakugou tries to discretely check his crotch, but to no avail. When the wedding finally ends and Bakugou is sent to his chambers, he immediately strips, heaving a sigh of relief when he sees the familiar attachment at his crotch. Lying down on the bed with his arms apart, Bakugou finally has the mood to think about other things, such as the plot and Todoroki.

Recalling story Su Mi’s memories, Bakugou learns that Su Mi is actually a man, and the name Su Mi was merely an alias. His real name, of course, was also Bakugou Katsuki, automatically changing to match Bakugou’s own name. The Grand Chancellor was loyal to Su Mi’s parents, so when the current Emperor overthrew the previous Empire, he had smuggled Su Mi out of the palace. In order to kill the current Emperor, Su Mi acted as a woman, hoping to enter the palace as a concubine so that he could kill the Emperor in bed. The plan would have succeeded if only Rui did not poison the Emperor that night. After being poisoned, the Emperor had felt strange, calling the Imperial Doctor to do a check-up on his body. After all, the Emperor took pride in his ability in bed, so he did not want to sleep with Su Mi while feeling unwell. The Imperial Doctor had checked the Emperor’s pulse, only to find out that the Emperor had what was termed “Shenkui”, a deficiency of the kidney. This deficiency was believed to be due to loss of semen, and the associated flu-like symptoms and sexual dysfunction can last weeks to months. Naturally, the Emperor believed that he had this deficiency because he had too much sex, rather than thinking he was poisoned. As there was no real cure for this, the Emperor can only wait it out. And because the Emperor was unable to become erect anymore, he no longer slept with any of his concubines, causing Su Mi’s plans to kill him in bed to fall through.

And right now, as Bakugou lies in bed, he realises that the Emperor is probably getting poisoned now. However, he does not care. After all, he does not want to sleep with the Emperor, having already seen and checked that the Emperor isn’t Todoroki. Sitting up, Bakugou realises that he can sneak around the palace to look for Todoroki. After all, there won’t be anyone visiting his room tonight. Changing out to darker clothes, Bakugou starts to analyse the possible candidates. From the way the word “Hong” is written, Bakugou guesses that Todoroki must be one of the princes. After all, the Chinese character for “Hong” was the same Japanese kanji for “Todoroki”. And out of all the princes, Bakugou thinks that the twelfth prince might be the most likely candidate. And even if the twelfth prince isn’t Todoroki, Bakugou is still going to save that poor kid.

Sneaking out, Bakugou looks for the old rundown yard he saw during his tour of the palace. It seemed like the most likely place the twelfth prince is kept. And just as expected, Bakugou finds the small child curling in the corner of a small and filthy room. His clothes are rags, blood stains being the only embellishments. Bakugou finds anger bubbling in his blood as he sees just how poorly the twelfth prince was treated. As Bakugou approaches, the child immediately sits up, body tense as if ready to fight.

Bakugou raises his hands, palms out as if to show that he meant no harm. “Hey… It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.”

The child only growls warningly in response, body ready to lash out if Bakugou took a step closer. From the moonlight, Bakugou can see that the child has black hair and is bald in some places, probably from when others had pulled his hair while bullying the child. But what is the most shockingly beautiful is the child’s electric blue eyes that seem to glow, reminding Bakugou of a wolf. Bakugou briefly wonders if the child is melanin-deficient, remembering the Korean variety show he was forced to watch with Todoroki.

Bakugou didn’t like children. Not really. They made him feel soft and weak, yet flustered and irritated. Kind of like how Todoroki makes him feel. But regardless of how he felt about children, at this time, Bakugou only wants to protect the poor child in front of him. But Bakugou isn’t sure about what to do. Thinking through his possible options, Bakugou decides to leave. Just for a while of course. Not an hour later, Bakugou is back with some fish he stole from the pond.

Cleaning out a small area in the room, Bakugou begins to start a fire, preparing to cook the fish over the fire. Quickly, the smell spreads through the room and Bakugou hears the child’s stomach growl in hunger. As expected, Bakugou thinks as he smirks. No one has ever rejected his cooking before, no matter how simple the meal. Bakugou senses as the child slowly approaches, caution clear in his electric blue eyes. The child stops just an arm's length away as if to ensure that Bakugou cannot suddenly hit him. With just the cackling of the flames being the only sound in the room, Bakugou appears to have forgotten the child, eyes focused on only the fish. However, the child does not let down on his vigilance. Once Bakugou is done with the first fish, he slowly puts it down before starting on another fish.

After making sure that Bakugou’s hands are both focused on the other fish, the child quickly snatches the cooked fish before running back to his corner in the room. Bakugou grins at his actions, proud that his plan is working. The child quickly swallows the fish and is soon back an arm’s length away from Bakugou.

This time, however, Bakugou does not give the fish to the child, instead biting into the fish himself. In all honesty, Bakugou was going to give the fish to the child. However, his own stomach is grumbling, and Bakugou realises that this body had yet to have dinner.

Seeing the fish he was eyeing get eaten by someone else, the child immediately whines, sad and pitiful. Bakugou feels his heart melt, shredding some of the meat off and offering it to the child. Their eyes meet as the child seems to assess if he could trust Bakugou. After what seems like forever, the child seats next to Bakugou, taking the offered meat. Bakugou smiles, giving the rest of the fish to the child. He can wait and eat the next fish.

“This is the last fish, alright? You shouldn’t eat too much at once.” Bakugou says softly. The child makes a sound of displeasure, making Bakugou laugh. “Don’t worry, kid. I’ll give you more tomorrow.”

The child answers with a grunt. Looking at the child, Bakugou wants to immediately adopt him. However, the protagonist, Rui, has probably just been reborn. This meant that he couldn’t deviate too much from what the protagonist knows as his previous life. He needed to wait until Rui does something different enough such that any changes from his previous life appear to be butterfly effects from his own actions.

But waiting for that to happen and letting the child suffer in this cold and dirty room until then is too cruel, Bakugou thinks. At the same time, Bakugou isn’t sure if the child will follow him either. To come up with a plan to be able to bring the child back to his imperial quarters, Bakugou starts to recall whatever he could from both the story given to him by The Writer and from the memories of the original Su Mi.

Apparently, due to the lack of care by the Emperor and the fear the servants have due to his blue eyes, the twelfth prince was uncared for almost all of his life. When the twelfth prince was still a baby, there was a palace maid that was very close to his mother. Hence, she had fed the child and cared for him minimally for his mother’s sake. However, once the child was able to walk on his own, she stopped caring, deciding that the child can already fend for himself. As the child is still of royal blood, the servants could not directly kill the child despite their fear, instead choosing to beat and neglect the child. This empty yard had belonged to a concubine that offended the Emperor. After the concubine was sentenced to death by poison, the yard became abandoned. Hence, the twelfth prince escaped the servant quarters to come to live here. Here, the servants would not come and hit him. However, he could not hide here forever. Now and then, he would sneak out to steal food from the kitchen. But more often than not, he would be caught by the servants and concubines who would beat him. Learning the child’s situation, Bakugou becomes furious, anger emanating so much it scares the twelfth prince who scatters away to his corner in the room.

Noticing the child’s reactions, Bakugou quickly forces himself to calm down, giving the child a rare apology. However, the child remains wary. Sighing, Bakugou realises that he probably couldn’t smuggle the child into his imperial quarters as he won’t cooperate. Instead, Bakugou decides that he could at least clean this place up so that the child can have a proper place to rest. And so, Bakugou spends the rest of the night cleaning and smuggling blankets into the room. By daybreak, the child seems to have deemed Bakugou as safe, not rejecting when Bakugou cautiously steps forward to carry the child. Frowning at the bones he could feel, Bakugou gently lays the child into the makeshift bed made of blankets and tucks the child in.

“Go sleep,” Bakugou says as he pats the child’s head. “I’ll come back later.”

With that, Bakugou quickly sneaks back to his own room. Despite how much he wants to just sleep, Bakugou has to quickly get clean and get dressed. After all, he still has to go give the Empress Dowager a morning greeting. When Bakugou gets to the Empress Dowager’s imperial quarters, there are already many other imperial consorts waiting outside for the Empress Dowager to allow them inside.

Seeing his late arrival, the other imperial consorts start to mock him.

“First day and she’s already late.”

“So disrespectful.”

“Indeed. Just because she’s the Grand Chancellor’s daughter, she thinks she’s so superior!”

“Ha! She doesn’t realise that she’s only an adopted one. Being so stuck-up, we’ll see the Empress Dowager teach her what is her place!”

“Now, now. She must have been tired. It was her wedding night after all.” A gentle voice says. Although the words appear to be trying to calm the other imperial consorts, the words only seem to further enrage them. After all, it reminded them that they had a new competitor and that they were losing favour. Usually, the Emperor took in concubines without a wedding, several at a time too. However, for Bakugou, the Emperor had held a wedding and she is the only one entering this time too. This meant that the Emperor is biased towards Bakugou, making the other imperial consorts anxious and jealous. The more the Emperor favoured Bakugou, the less favour the other concubines will get. For an Emperor with over a thousand women in his harem, many of these concubines have not slept with the Emperor in years. If they couldn’t sleep with the Emperor, they cannot conceive a son, and their chances of being Empress or Empress Dowager will be diminished. Hence, they saw Bakugou as a huge threat to themselves. So before Bakugou became too powerful for them to compete against, they took the opportunity to beat him down now while they can.

But despite their increased unhappiness at the words, the other concubines kept quiet, instead turning to praise the woman who appeared to speak up for Bakugou. From their words of flattery, Bakugou identifies the woman as Imperial Consort Fu. Compared to the other concubines, Imperial Consort Fu has the greatest position and power, especially since she came is the Empress Dowager’s relative, making the Empress Dowager her strongest pillar of support in the harem.

Soon, the eunuch invites them into the Empress Dowager’s imperial quarters, Imperial Consort Fu leading all the concubines.

“Greetings to the Empress Dowager,” the concubines chorus as they bow to the Empress Dowager.

“You may rise,” the Empress Dowager replies. “Come here, Fu Yao. Come and have breakfast with me.”

Imperial Consort Fu smiles and bows respectfully, “Yes, Empress Dowager.”

And for the whole meal, the Empress Dowager only speaks to Imperial Consort Fu while the other concubines stand and watch. Bakugou knows that this is a show meant for him. While he also has a strong family background, he is nothing in the harem. And even if the Emperor gave him a proper wedding, he should not covet the place as Empress because the Empress Dowager supports Imperial Consort Fu.

In his mind, Bakugou rolls his eyes at the Empress Dowager. The Emperor is already erectile dysfunctional, so there is no way he can fight with the other concubines here. Besides, he had no interest in becoming the Empress either.

When their meal is finally finished, Bakugou had thought that he was finally free. Except, surprisingly, the Empress Dowager addresses him.

“Su Mi. You are new here, so there are many rules in the harem you may not understand. If you have any queries, ask Fu Yao.” The Empress Dowager says, a final reminder that she favoured Imperial Consort Fu, before they are all allowed to leave.

Bakugou wants to immediately dash off, but he remembers that Rui had waited for him in his previous life. Then, Rui had wanted to ensure that the woman he loves was still “pure, stopping Su Mi to have a talk. After he was reborn, it was not stated if Rui came to check again, so Bakugou has to act accordingly. Walking down the designated path back to his imperial quarters, Bakugou sees Rui. But this time, Rui does not stop him. Instead, after seeing Bakugou, Rui had to hide his anger, turning and pretending that he did not see Bakugou. And so, Bakugou continues walking. However, as gets closer to his own imperial quarters, Bakugou hears somebody cussing loudly. A thought flashes in Bakugou’s mind, and he quickly moves towards the source of the sound.

As expected, Bakugou sees a palace maid kicking the twelfth prince while the child clutches tightly onto a piece of bun wordlessly. In the past life, as Su Mi had been stopped by Rui, this situation had gone unnoticed. But this time, as Rui did not stop Bakugou, Bakugou comes by in time to stop the beating.

Seeing Bakugou approach, the palace maid quickly escapes, worried that Bakugou will punish her. After all, Bakugou is new here, and the palace maid isn’t sure how Bakugou will react. Ignoring the palace maid, Bakugou instead goes to the child who only holds on to his bun tighter.

“I’m not going to steal your bun, kid,” Bakugou says as he carries the child who does not move. This is enough butterfly effect, Bakugou thinks as he decides to bring the child back to the imperial quarters. From now on, Bakugou is going to adopt this child.

“What name should I give you?” Bakugou wonders as he looks at the child in his arms. He needs a name that sounded Chinese so that it will not be too strange, but Bakugou also wanted to give the child a Japanese name. In the end, Bakugou decides on the name ‘緱’. It stood for the cord binding the hilt of a sword. Not only did the kanji read similarly as Gou in both Japanese and Chinese, but the meaning also suited the child. Furthermore, the pronounciation resembled Bakugou’s own surname, making a tangible connection between them. “From now on, you’re called Gou, okay?”

Hearing the name, the child looks up to meet Bakugou’s eyes as if to acknowledge the name.

#todobaku #fanfic #TodoBaku's Quick Transmigration #The Rebirthed Prince's Counter-Attack

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abadpoetwithdreams · 7 years ago

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Nirvana in Fire Episode 4 Reaction

I thought this would be a fast episode to recap/review, but no. It wasn’t. A LOT HAPPENS. Most importantly? This is the episode where we really, finally get introduced to Jing (and, in a way, to Lin Shu himself) and that whole scene is so important!!! Also there’s the subplot with the slave kids, and the threat of Ni Huang’s impending marriage, and now there’s a subplot TO that subplot about her being in danger from someone, PLUS we FINALLY learn what Lin Shu is ultimately trying to do here in the court, and aaaaaahh. So much goodness! I got a little misty-eyed, even? That’s how good it is. It doesn’t bode well for my poor emotions in later episodes. Will this show ever have a filler episode that I can summarize my reaction to in, like, a single paragraph??? I’m guessing not. But I’m okay with that because I’m enjoying it so much.

Back to this episode, episode 4, we start where we left off with the fight from last episode, with Jing Rui getting flung across a table by Baili Qi. The emperor intervenes and stops the fight before anyone (meaning poor Jing Rui) gets seriously hurt, but in the pause afterwards he notices that Chang Su (who DID manage to swallow all that tangerine without dying, I am very proud of him) is leaning over whispering in a smiling Ni Huang’s ear. So of course the Emperor demands to be let in on whatever secret is being told.

And how cute is the sight of Mei Chang Su and Ni Huang whispering mischievously to each other at the EMPEROR’S OWN TABLE, so to speak? The answer, my friend, is pretty dang cute. They look like they’ve reverted to being a couple of children together. Ni Huang’s so comfortable and close with him, it reeeeeally feels like she instinctively recognizes him and it’s like her brain is just waiting to catch up with her heart which is already making her treat him like a lifelong friend, even if she doesn’t consciously realize it yet. Then again, she seemed already so intrigued from the first instant she saw him … I really want to know what he was telling her; I don’t think he was telling her the stratagem he was about to put into play, because he did seem surprised when she caught on so fast, but he could have been acting so idk. Maybe he just told her to follow his lead. Or maybe he literally just told her what he tells the Emperor he was saying: that Baili Qi is a strong but badly-trained warrior who could undoubtedly be defeated by children.

(Chang Su acts embarrassed as he admits this but COME ON. He is LOVING it.)

The whole room gasps. This is a massive insult delivered by an honored guest in front of the most important people in the kingdom. They are electrified with horror, shocked amusement, and intrigue (and, in the case of Northern Yan’s group: outrage).

And Mei Chang Su, THIS TROLL, puts on his meek innocent face and is all “oh, no, I meant no offense at all, we are all friends here, my bad, it is just that I make mistakes like everyone else, I should really learn to think before I speak ohohohoho”

But the ambassador from Northern Yan is having none of it and demands Mei Chang Su produce some children to be slaughtered by Baili Qi right. Now.

(I feel insulted on poor Jing Rui’s behalf that his buddy Chang Su has basically just said to THE EMPEROR that a child could fight better than he just did, and he does actually look a little miffed here, but only briefly. He is a better person than me, this noble sword-boy.)

(Btw, this scene is a good example of how Chang Su has the SWEETEST smile when he wants to. It is an excellent distraction from his clever manipulation, which I can attest to personally because it distracts ME from paying close attention to what he’s saying, so I’m assuming it worked on everyone else in that hall, too.)

Chang Su says ok, but also he’d have to train the kids, PLUS the kids would have to be previously untrained, and Ni Huang catches on almost immediately and starts helping, the end result being that the two of them work together fiendishly well, dancing back and forth with their varying reasons for why the children they pick for the bout HAVE to be taken from the slaves in the palace–y'know, one of which is Ting Sheng from last episode. It’s about now that I started laughing because “oh no he isn'tttt” but yes: he totally is. Mei Chang Su is already setting things in motion to save the kid Prince Jing mysteriously cares about. Brazenly, in front of the Emperor and the entire court. With Meng surely sweating bullets the whole time as he stands beside the Emperor.

Also there’s a great moment when Chang Su pretends to be VERY contrite about suggesting some children could whip Baili Qi, almost to the point of being flustered, and he stammers out some thing about how it wouldn’t be fair to use kids already trained in martial arts, as that would be an unfair advantage to them, and the Northern Yan crew look like they’re going to have a fit and the rest of the hall busts up laughing (except for the Crown Prince who looks upset by this further insult to the foreign group, and for Prince Yu who just smirks like he’s impressed) and in the meantime Mei Chang Su stands there in the midst of this hurricane he created looking wholly innocent and clueless and ugh I LOVE HIM. HE’S THE WORST.

So Chang Su, with the help of his secret ally Meng, manages not only to get the Emperor’s permission to take three kids from the slave ranks to train them, but also gets permission to train them back in his own house, and is given five days to do so. He also hints that the kids might deserve, oh I don’t know, some kind of reward after they defeat Baili Qi? I SEE YOU, LIN SHU. I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING.

Meng picks three kids at random, and Ting Sheng somehow happens to be one of them. Wow, what a craaaaaazy coincidence!

Later, Jing Rui voices concern about the kids’ chances because he is, y'know, sane, but Chang Su is unmoved. He says he is going to have them use a Towering Phantom technique? Sounds impressive. Jing Rui knows of this technique but has never seen it. Chang Su asks does Jing Rui not trust him? Jing Rui promptly replies that he DOES trust his friend, who is so clever and knows so much. It’s painful to hear him say so. Then Yu Jin chimes in by saying that everything must be ok because Chang Su clearly has a plan: if the kids defeat Baili Qi in this mock combat round, Baili Qi won’t have the gall to then say he has the right to fight Ni Huang. That’s a good point. I’m very impressed that Lin Shu is seemingly managing to kill two birds with one stone, here. Very good.

(Speaking of Yu Jin, slight sidetrack meta time: I’m writing this as I rewatch after making it to episode 16 and then stopping, so I have seen more of these boys than just four episodes’ worth. And this is one of the earliest telling moments I’ve noticed where Yu Jin seems to see Chang Su’s stratagems clearly. He doesn’t see any long term goal in them, but he’s good at seeing what’s going on in the moment. It seems to me like the reason why he notices more about what Su is doing when compared to Jing Rui, is that Jing Rui takes Chang Su’s friendship more for granted. They are already friends at the beginning of the show; Yu Jin begins the show eager to meet this legendarily cool pugilist leader, so he’s a bit more removed from Chang Su the person and more calibrated to view Chang Su the persona. Chang Su is just lucky that Yu Jin is such a happy puppy of a person who wants to see the best in people and so isn’t a suspicious sort, otherwise he would definitely have an edge when it comes to figuring out that Chang Su is such a devious plotter and has some dangerous long-term goals; he is too innocent, alas. I also get the feeling that Jing Rui is at a disadvantage here even though he is the more mature of the two simply because he’s grown up surrounded by not one but TWO doting families so he’s just? Used to being loved? (And yet still hasn’t gotten spoiled, bless him.) But being accustomed to being the center of attention/having a positive network around him blinds him to Chang Su’s machinations. Anyway. Yu Jin and Jing Rui are the Most Precious souls in this entire show so far and must be protected at all costs. I dread what’s undoubtedly coming for them. The show wouldn’t make them this Good for no reason.)

Meanwhile, best of friends Meng is assuring the Emperor that it is very possible that Su Zhe might know a secret technique that would enable children to defeat Baili Qi, and also says even if the kids lose it’s a win-win for the Emperor. He also says even if the kids lose, it “won’t be any worse than it is now.” The Emperor somehow finds that reassuring? I feel like insulting a rival nation’s champion, then losing to him in a fight brought about by the insult IS a situation that would be made worse by the loss, but maybe he figures he’ll just punish this random impertinent strategist if things go wrong and so therefore he, the Emperor, is fine no matter what. Whatever.

The next scene starts pretty randomly with one of the less important concubines crying because she has to light candles at the shrine for a dead Empress. Is dead Empress the current Emperor’s mother? I feel like it must be. Anyway she must have been an awful person if her ghost can scare this woman that badly.

Enter Jingmum!! Jingmum (not her name, alas, but I’m using it for clarification sake) offers to accompany and help her fellow woman because she is a good and wonderful person. How much influence did she have over Jing as he grew up? Because he seems like a fantastic guy, but as a concubine of the Emperor I don’t know how much freedom to just be a mom to her kid this woman had. I want to see what their relationship is like.

Oh, and the current Empress is the one punishing the sad concubine for something trivial like bad handwriting or somesuch. This is an interesting detail because until now the Emperor’s favourite concubine, Crown Prince’s mom, seemed much more obviously hateful. This shows the Empress is also definitely not a good person. It reminds me of how Yu scolded those sparring soldiers so harshly back in episode 2. Guess that’s where he learned it from?

“Your arms must be sore,” a way too kind and compassionate Jingmum says to her fellow concubine, after the latter lights some candles. If her arms are sore, she needs to do some lifting, my gosh. Then again, I suppose she doesn’t have anything to do in her life to strengthen her arms, but still. That’s pathetic. Jingmum even massages her arm as they walk out of the shrine together??? What a saint. She says she was trained in medicine before, so I guess that explains things. Have her take a look at Lin Shu, pls. I want him alive longer than two years ok? Make it so.

Thunder sounds and I’m immediately like “SAVE THE BEAUTIFUL DRESSES” but the two women have the same thought apparently and scurry under cover, much to my relief.

BUT THEN. Their run for cover puts them right outside a secluded room where they can overhear a conversation between some old woman and the most evil-looking handmaid I’ve ever seen in my entire life. This actress flat-out sneers every word, and it’s kind of funny. But the conversation itself isn’t funny: they’re talking about some kind of drug that “the Empress Dowager used on Princess Supreme Li Yang back then.” Um. WHAT?! Someone wants to use this drug on someone in secret, and these women are making the necessary arrangements.

Jingmum and weak-arm concubine hurry away before they are spotted, but that sounded REALLY SKEEVY. My suspicions are confirmed when weak-arm concubine, in major distress, tells Jingmum that this is an emergency: that drug they were talking about is basically a date rape drug that was used in the past on the Princess Supreme. Who, I am pretty sure, is one of Jing Rui’s moms???? (Ten episodes later I know that yes, this is Jing Rui’s mom.) WHAT IS HAPPENING. Nothing good, that is sure. Weak-arm asks Jingmum for advice, and Jingmum tells her to keep silent about what she heard. It’s better to play it safe in the palace and not meddle in secrets, she says. This is exactly he opposite of what Jing would say, I have no doubt. So he can’t have spent THAT much time with his mom: enough to inherit her goodness but not her subtlety, I think.

Back at Snow Cottage we are treated to a long montage of the slave children waving swords around with varying expressions of seriousness on their round faces. Fei Liu is doing all the work to train them, and I imagine he’s a brutal but effective teacher. Lin Shu is sitting nearby paying nearly zero attention; he trusts Fei Liu to get the job done. “Make them faster so I can be sure to win,” he instructs, and I’m pretty sure that’s all he needs to say for Fei Liu to do everything in his power to make these kids the fastest children under the sun. I am curious about why he is so very, very devoted to Lin Shu. They’re such an odd duo but so great together.

Lin Shu does start paying attention, however, when Ni Huang shows up for an unannounced visit. Surprise! As always, he looks momentarily stricken to see her, and I wonder if she realizes she frightens him, she seems like she’s always watching him very closely. She looks like she is pleased to have surprised him, but he covers his reaction almost instantly. Ni Huang is here to see the children’s formation they are practicing for herself, and she is very perceptive in her criticism of it as she walks alone with Chang Su afterwards. I love it whenever Ni Huang shows off how smart she is AND how skilled she is in warfare. She’s perfect. She asks if he maybe has something further planned, and he doesn’t answer, like he doesn’t trust himself to reply. Every time she shows how clever she is it’s like you can see that hidden Lin Shu in him fall in love with her all over again and it’s the WORST. Sidenote: Hu Ge has done amazing work in this show so far, but one of my favourite aspects of his portrayal is that you can so clearly tell when shades of Lin Shu are coming out–which is remarkable, when you think about it, because I still haven’t been introduced to Lin Shu. I still don’t know who he IS. And yet I do, because Hu Ge has such a clear understanding of who he is, he’s clueing me in even without that formal introduction, even without convenient flashbacks, or without ever talking about who he was before. He’s wonderful.

Chang Su finally promises he will do all he can to help Ni Huang out of her predicament (one of the few promises he makes that I 100% believe, lol), and she looks thoughtful.

“For some reason,” she confesses as she looks out at the garden, “I actually trust you.”

Lin Shu’s only reaction is a blink that covers a flinch, and it’s like you can see how glad her confession makes him before reality catches up to his relief and turns it all to pain, and then he just. Walks away. No bow, no farewell, nothing. Because he can’t handle this, and neither can I. Ni Huang watches him go, looking strangely triumphant. Point to Ni Huang, I think. She is DEFINITELY on to him.

That night, Jingmum stays up very late sewing some pouches. She’s planning something. The next day (presumably), the delightful grandmother is back!!!! I’m desperately hoping that this time she doesn’t break my heart. Right now she’s all happy because she’s admiring the nice smell of the pretty sachet she has; the other concubines present also have some. Crown Prince’s mom and the Empress are there, too. The grandmother, learning that Jingmum made the sachets, eagerly asks that she be invited into the hall. Apparently her status is so lowly she cannot visit the grandmother without permission?? That’s so unfair. I wonder if the Emperor’s displeasure with Jing is thus reflected onto Jing’s mother, or if she’s just always been a nobody.

(Sidenote: the Empress’ headdress is a MARVEL. It’s been a while since I’ve commented on costumes. That headdress might be my favourite costume piece of the episode. Either that, or Mei Chang Su’s cute white turtleneck thing.)

When Jingmum comes in, Princess Supreme Li Yang is there. She is so sweet? Jingmum offers her a gift of a sachet, too, but then uses that moment where she presses it into the Princess’ hand to squeeze her hand hard, and the Princess immediately knows something is up. This is a code of some kind, probably a “we need to talk” or something similar.

Grand Empress Dowager, meanwhile, has another memory time slip; she seems to think that Jingmum is new to the harem, and is still just as warm and kind to her, because she’s such a wonderful old lady.

And THEN THIS HAPPENS:

“After Consort Chen gave birth, she isn’t feeling very well. You are a medical maid. Since the Lin family sent you here, you must take good care of her.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. As the grandmother says this, EVERYONE gets visibly nervous and the music gets very tense. There is no Consort Chen, the Empress says. She died a long time ago.

The poor old grandmother immediately is extremely distressed, and starts begging for her eldest grandson. What has happened to her eldest grandson? She cries. Nothing good, I think. Darn it, this old woman has punched me in the heart AGAIN. I will never trust a scene with her in it ever again, so help me. The various women flutter around trying to calm her, and order Jingmum out of the hall, saying this is her fault.

Okay: there is a LOT to unpack here. First: Consort Chen. I don’t know who she is, but clearly her death was NOT a natural one. It definitely had something to do with whatever went down twelve years ago. Second: the eldest grandson. I don’t know who he is? Maybe I’ve heard before, but not enough that I recognize his name. Presumably he was also part of that disaster. I’m assuming both he and his mom (?) were implicated in the same false treason that took down Lin Shu himself, because those women looked scared to hear those names brought up. Furthermore, if he was the eldest son, then I’m guessing that he was a main target in whatever plot went down. Third: the Lin family sent Jingmum? So she’s related to Lin Shu directly? (Aside: I know a bit more about how the various families are connected from where I am in ep16 now, but at the time I watched this I was a lot more up in the air.)

Later, Jingmum is visited by the Princess, who made up some excuse about a rash so she could visit the medically-skilled minor concubine. In truth, she’s just there because she got the signal earlier and wants to know why Jingmum wanted to talk. It’s a refreshing change to see Court women sneaking about for the sake of good, instead of because they’re wicked snakey people (looking at you, Crown Prince mom and Empress). Jingmum explains about what she overheard, and the Princess FREEZES. There’s a flashback, and oh my gosh. The princess was given the wine by HER OWN MOTHER???? WHO ARRANGED HER DAUGHTER’S DRUGGING TO ENABLE THE MARQUIS TO HAVE HIS WAY WITH HER???? THEREBY TRAPPING HER IN AN IMPOSSIBLE DILEMMA OF DISHONOR UNLESS SHE MARRIED HIM?? This is despicable. It’s horrific. And I feel horrible for both the Princess and for Jing Rui, who surely knows nothing of this, and ughhhhhhh. It’s so gross. HER OWN MOM.

Anyway, the Princess is first angry that this painful history is brought up, but when she realizes someone is in danger of suffering this fate today, she is first shocked and then turns all to steel. Jingmum tells her only she can save Ni Huang, who is surely the target of the unknown schemer. Many people are desperate to be allied to Ni Huang and her family via marriage right now. Somehow, they have to protect her.

Does Lin Shu know this is going on???? I can’t imagine how he would, but surely he won’t be kept in the dark for long.

Speaking of Lin Shu, the kids are still flailing around with their swords and they look more adept now. Chang Su congratulates them and they all grin back at him and it’s very cute. This has probably been the best week of their lives. Why is he so good with kids??? The cynic in me is like “because he’s good at manipulating people” but I like to think it’s the Lin Shu part of him, not the Chang Su, that connects with them. Anyway, Fei Liu is like an angry, jealous cat until Chang Su, somehow managing to keep a straight face, gives him a very deliberate compliment to mollify him.

And then: Jing is back! And never mind what I said earlier, HIS costume might be my favourite of the episode. Those strong, vibrant colors? That bright red belt? LOOKING GOOD, JING.

The children scamper off to play, but Ting Sheng pauses to smile shyly at Jing before he goes and I melt a little. Jing is here to check on the boy, but also to let Chang Su know he’s researched his background. Is it just me, or did Chang Su look a bit excited at that? He lights up a little at the prospect of finding out how well he’s duped Prince Jing. A little too well, as it turns out. Jing is particularly cutting as he says, funny story, he tends to be pretty ignorant of politics (heavily implying that politics is the Worst), but he has found out that Mei Chang Su is buddies with both the Crown Prince AND Prince Yu, isn’t that interesting? Coming from someone as forthright and firmly principled as Jing, this is a slap in the face. He somehow manages to even turn how he sips his tea into a diss. Chang Su definitely pauses here; I honestly think Lin Shu planned for this, but that he didn’t anticipate how much it would sting to have Jing think so little of him. He CLEARLY cares a lot about Jing’s opinion of him, which might prove problematic to his persona, I imagine. He says he’s not their friend, they just both want him as their ally, and Jing scoffs: surely the great Mei Chang Su didn’t come to the capitol NOT to try to seize power?

No, that is true, agrees Chang Su. He does want to help guide the next Emperor. Jing looks a little disappointed, but not surprised. He asks with pointed restraint whether Chang Su is going to support the Crown Prince or Prince Yu.

And this is the moment Lin Shu has been waiting for, for who knows how long–you can tell that this is a moment he has been longing for–he doesn’t want either of them. I’d like to choose you.

I did NOT see this coming, but the instant he said it I was like YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! He’s not just tearing down: he’s building up!! It’s not just about ruining the people he hates, he is going to beat them at their own game by raising up an Emperor HE wants!!!! Omg. Omg. So hyped. This revelation made me SO. HAPPY. Because it makes the stakes IMPOSSIBLY higher, and it also makes me love Lin Shu even more. Because this is solid confirmation that this isn’t just a revenge story, and I’m just ECSTATIC because this game Lin Shu is playing is also going to be soooooo much more complicated and multilayered than I had anticipated if Jing as Emperor is his end goal. He’s going to have to play the court like a fiddle, and omg I can’t wait to see him work. Plus, I WANT JING TO BE EMPEROR. So I am aaaaaaall in. This is the best reveal ever.

Jing, meanwhile, almost gets whiplash from how fast he turns to stare at the placidly smiling Chang Su. He looks absolutely dazed for a good few seconds, and it’s adorable–and then he bursts out laughing. This poor man.

He sits down and downs a cup of tea like it’s a shot, which made me laugh in the midst of my giddy excitement, ahahahaha, and then, slightly bitterly, Jing lays out plainly to this strategist just how impossible it is for him to reach the throne. His mother is of low rank, he has no noble family connections through her, he has no connections in the world of politics or in any of the various government ministries, he’s spent basically his entire adult life soldiering and so has no worthy connections there, he is not even a high-ranked prince himself even though he’s 31 because, oh yeah, his dad the current Emperor HATES HIM. So, good luck with that, Chang Su. Hearing Jing list all the ways he’s a (supposed) failure made me so sad. I know basically nothing about him as a person, but I know on instinct that he deserves so much better. Again: the acting is so good. Also the music. The Music starts up in this scene and it’s awesome.

Chang Su looks levelly at Jing. I know you are at a disadvantage, he says. But I have no other choice. And for just a second, he sounds DANGEROUS. It’s one of the few times so far, I think, that Lin Shu is speaking 100% honestly, no restraint or hiding behind masks, but pure INTENT, and the depth of the emotion he had in that one line was just–yes. Yes, do it. Take down those who wronged you, and work impossible wonders to get Jing made Emperor. DO IT. I BELIEVE IN YOU.

(Just … Do it without hurting Jing Rui?)

(Meanwhile, the Princess Supreme tries to visit Ni Huang but Ni Huang is away for the day. So much for that storyline for the moment.)

Back at the Snow Cottage, Chang Su tries to pour Jing more tea while explaining his plan, but Jing is stone-cold not having it–neither the tea, nor this conversation in general. I hate how distrustful he is, but it makes total sense from his point of view. Especially since he was connected to the Event™ somehow 12 yrs ago, if not politically then emotionally. Small wonder that he’s so distrustful and defensive! His continuing bad relationship with the Emperor has to stem from then, because he still believes that the people implicated were innocent. Ni Huang also thinks this, seemingly, but she’s more subtle about it so I guess she got a free pass. Jing comes across as a man who has grown accustomed to being always lonely and unable to trust anyone, let alone grow close to anyone, and it’s horrible even though I believe that the way he has frozen up is what has kept him alive this long, I, Claudius style–if the Crown Prince and Prince Yu thought him a threat, they’d surely have taken him out by now because he is not protected by the Emperor’s good opinion–or, well, by anything, come to think of it. Furthermore, his own father could easily interpret any semblance of ambition as treasonous? Because of his apparent sympathy to the people who died a dozen years earlier, it would be a very small logical leap for the already disapproving Emperor to make. His position in both the kingdom and his own family is terribly vulnerable and I can’t blame him for having adapted the way he has. But I don’t want him to be that way??? I want him to be happy. Gah. WHY CANT THE GOOD PEOPLE IN THIS SHOW JUST BE HAPPY.

(Sidenote: I wonder if he has any sort of subconscious recognition of Lin Shu like how Ni Huang has, but if it’s affecting him in an opposite way–making him even MORE guarded and hostile, instead of instinctively trusting this stranger. Based off the music cues and the acting, Lin Shu and Jing definitely have a Past. I’m eager to find out what that Past is, but also–I’m very scared. The more these two interact the worse I’m going to feel watching it, probably.)

Chang Su tells him he wants to support him simply because political success while backing such a hopeless candidate for the throne will make him, Chang Su, look even more impressive than he would if he worked with one of the other two Princes. Jing seems to believe that this selfish, ugly motive is the truth, which is good for Lin Shu’s goals and secret identity, but also–ughhhhhh. Jing also comments on how he cannot understand how people like Chang Su, who are obsessed with political manipulation and power grabs, think. Again–this is the WORST, because Lin Shu CLEARLY understands Jing really well. So presumably Jing would similarly understand Lin Shu if he knew who he was. But he doesn’t, so. Shu just keeps impaling himself on the sword of Jing’s scorn to coax the stubbornly righteous prince into working with him.

(Sidenote: Jing has THE most beautiful eyebrows. They’re so impressive. Truly worthy of gracing an Emperor. Crown Prince’s sad ‘stache shouldn’t stand a chance.)

Finally, Chang Su asks Jing plainly if he WANTS either of the other princes to take the throne. Jing is visibly upset by this and says essentially that if Chang Su is as great a strategist as everyone says, then he should know the answer to that already. Chang Su smiles and says of course he does: he IS the Divine Talent, after all. I still am amused that he even has that name for himself? But it seems to be well-earned, so go ahead and call yourself whatever you like, Chang Su. Does this mean we can say he actually has four names? Good grief.

Jing gets VERY intense and says that there’s no hope of the throne for himself, but he will do ANYTHING if the Divine Talent can prevent those other two from taking the throne. (Actually, hilariously, the subtitles on dramafever have him say he would “pay whatever prince it takes” but I’m assuming he’s actually meaning he’d pay any price, metaphorically speaking, not that he’d bribe any prince. Because that would kinda go against his whole character as established up to this point, so.)

Chang Su tells Jing that Ting Sheng’s freedom will be his first gift to him. If Jing accepts that gift, then they will be partners in this play for power. Jing is clearly conflicted over this, and soothes his uneasy conscience by telling Chang Su plainly that he does not like sneaky, manipulative people like this, so even if Chang Su does help him to the throne, Chang Su isn’t guaranteed any kind of fame or reward. Chang Su–who, again, looked ever so slightly hurt by Jing’s appraisal of his character–says that’s fine; there is time enough for negotiating rewards later. What really matters to him is how Jing’s temperament is different from the other two Princes’.

(Also, the music, you guys. THE MUSIC. WHY IS THE OST NOT ON ITUNES.)

We’ve never met, Jing tells him coldly. How could you know what my temperament is like? Oh, Prince Jing. I have only known you as long as the fake Mei Chang Su has, and even I know what your temperament is like. Also, did Shu slip in saying what he did, or was it planned? It felt spontaneous. He backs off the statement a little, changing tack and instead reminding Jing that if he doesn’t want the other two princes as Emperor, then Jing is the only other possible successor; no other prince is eligible. The scene ends there, but–I think Chang Su has got him. I think Jing is the type that he won’t be able to get those plainly presented facts out of his head, and he’ll talk himself into actually going for the throne just so he can stop his terrible brother’s. I don’t think Chang Su has to push him anymore, he just needed to plant that seed. I’m so excited.

Cut to Marquis Xie, who is apparently having his wife followed??? His wife, who he drugged and raped decades ago???? He can NOT get any worse, what a disgusting slug of a man. Unfortunately he seems like he’s also very clever. Unfortunate for Lin Shu’s scheming, that is; it’s very fortunate for the story because watching Shu work his magic wouldn’t be anywhere NEAR as compelling or as satisfying if he was just given a bunch of straw men opponents to knock down. Major kudos to the show (and, I’m assuming, the novel) for making basically everyone intelligent. A lot of times stories with brilliant protagonists just write everyone else as stupid so that the protagonist just seems smart; making EVERYONE smart is way harder to write, but the payoff is HUGE. Yes, Mei Chang Su does make some Sherlock-Holmes-esque leaps of logic sometimes that don’t NECESSARILY have to lead to what he concludes, but that being said it’s usually pretty solidly done, plus he has tripped up a couple times anyway, so he isn’t always right. I can live with a handful of convenient deductions when the narrative and emotional payoff is this good.

Anyway, back to what I was saying: Marquis Gross is having people follow his wife. He knows that she tried to visit Ni Huang and that she was not successful. I’m curious about WHY he is spying on her, though. Is he just a jealous husband? Or does he have spies tailing other people, too? I would have thought he’d have had Mei Chang Su followed by now, if that were the case.

Back at the Snow Cottage, Meng is peering at Ting Sheng while the boy sleeps. It’s not as creepy as it sounds. Also, I half expected Meng to accidentally drip candle wax on the kid’s face and wake him up, lolll. He nods at Chang Su like he’s confirming something, and once they are back at Chang Su’s tea table–an already iconic location in this show, tbh–he says something about are you sure that slave kid is Prince Qi’s son? And instantly I’m like ohhhhhhh, wait. Wait. Is Prince Qi the supposed leader of the fake rebellion, the dead grandson the old grandma Empress was crying about earlier?? The oldest prince????? Because of COURSE Jing would care about this boy, if so. But the Emperor can have no idea, I would think? Otherwise this boy would be dead, I’m prettttttttty certain.

Lin Shu lays all this out, and Meng admits the boy looks like the dead prince a lot. He then brightens and says, well, at least this shows the gods have a conscience! The look on Lin Shu’s face when Meng says that–somehow, I reeeeeeally doubt he feels the same, lol. Again, Meng asks what happened 12 years ago and how Lin Shu survived, what horrors has he had to go through, to be here alive but apparently 100% transformed? Once again, Shu sidesteps this question. Once again, I am incredibly frustrated. He says the only thing about his survival that matters is that he will not let this life he’s managed to cling to go to waste.

Then we cut to Ni Huang sitting in what I assume is her manor? Her armor and campaign map are on display in the background anyway, nice touch. She’s reading something. Her brother comes in and asks about the children’s chances against Baili Qi (oh yeah, almost forgot about him after that Jing-Shu talk scene) and Ni Huang doesn’t seem like she was that impressed. Her brother is instantly upset and starts to march over to Chang Su’s house in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT (I love this brash kid) but Ni Huang sharply forbids him. She reminds him, too, that just because the kids might not defeat Baili Qi doesn’t mean SHE can’t. I totally believe Ni Huang could take him, because I want to believe in her. She’s amazing.

Back to the Snow Cottage, Meng is aghast at the notion of Jing vying for the throne. He’s definitely worried that this plan will get Jing killed. Heck, IM worried about the same thing! But Lin Shu has an answer–a terrible, terrifying, heartbreaking answer:

Doesn’t he still have me? Leave all those despicable and ruthless tactics to me. If we are to overthrow those evil villains, the innocent are bound to be hurt. At times, we might even have to be ruthless to them. If Prince Jing can’t bear to inflict such pain, I will.

There is a LOT to unpack from this little speech (once I stop sniffling and blink these drafted tears from my eyes). Firstly! Lin Shu knows how Jing is limited by his morals and principles AND HE DOES NOT WANT TO CHANGE THAT. He is not setting out to make Jing into a more ruthless person; he needs Jing to stay, well, Jing, if he is going to succeed in putting a Good Emperor on the throne. Secondly!! STAY AWAY FROM JING RUI AND YU JIN. It seems my instincts that Mei Chang Su somehow befriended Jing Rui for ulterior motives is were correct, ughhhhh. Thirdly!!! This speech comes RIGHT on the heels of his previous statement that never mind what horrific suffering he has endured; the important thing is that he is alive and thus he must not waste his life. This plan of his seems more and more like a sacrificial suicide of both body and soul; he knows he doesn’t have long to live (according to his conversation in episode 1), and so he risks what little time he has left by going back to the capitol and exerting himself far beyond what I imagine is safe, both mentally and physically. Not only that, but he knows good, upright Jing would never stoop to the underhanded machinations necessary to win the throne on his own, so here comes Lin Shu willing to sacrifice his own sense of righteousness to keep Jing Good as well as to make him win. We’ve had enough clues now that I really, really, REALLY don’t think this scheming and manipulating and cold calculatory nature is something that is actually natural to our sickly avenger. It is simply that in his mind the end goal justifies any means, ANY AT ALL, and that includes not only hurting innocents, but also hurting himself. Before Lin Shu throws any innocent or good person to the wolves for the sake of Jing’s success, he is throwing his own self away. Before his body perishes, he is already attempting this suicide of self: now that he has his life, he has to make sure it is not wasted. He exists only to get his vengeance and to eradicate the corruption in his family and the government that essentially cost him his life all those years ago, and this means he exists only to use himself up as a sacrifice to ensure Jing wins this harrowing political game. Meng has commented repeatedly on how this Lin Shu is physically changed. He is trying to hold to an equally drastic mental change. In light of this revelation, all of his scenes with Ni Huang, who is subconsciously drawn to the Lin Shu that’s still in there, are made approximately 500% more painful. UGHHHH.

I’m still not over this scene; I might never be over this scene; but I have to move on, so now we cut to the Princess, Jing Rui’s mom. She tells her maids to cover for her and then makes a spectacularly conspicuous escape from her rooms, heading to the cottage where Mei Chang Su is staying. Seriously, she is still in her fine silks, she’s carrying a lantern larger than her head; all she did was cover her hair with a lovely hood. I don’t know where her husband’s spies are right now? But they should be fired.

But somehow she sneaks successfully to Chang Su’s door. He looks surprised, but lets her in for a chat after Meng stealths away. She’s come to tell him about the plot she was told about to drug Ni Huang. He asks can’t she put a stop to this without his help? This poor woman looks decidedly bitter as she tells him that her high rank as Princess Supreme really isn’t much use. She can’t do anything herself for fear that her husband and children will be implicated, and she doesn’t have anyone to accuse anyway. Chang Su assures her he will help. I really like this woman; I don’t have her name down yet. Li Yang? Something like that. She’s so pretty and her voice is so distinct, and I feel so badly for her. And how brave she is to take this risk in the hopes of saving Ni Huang from what happened to her!

But uh-oh, there’s trouble: the Marquis is on his way to his wife’s empty room. The Princess Supreme’s maids panic, until this utterly fantastic old maid (or governess, of somesuch? An old servant who knows how to play people just as well as Mei Chang Su, anyway) takes the situation in hand. She tells the Marquis his wife doesn’t want visitors. When he protests that but it’s him, though! She responds with oh, his wife ESPECIALLY doesn’t want to see him. Something happened with grandmother Empress today and she saw a room in the palace that reminded her of something that happened a long time ago, soooo …

This scene was brilliant. He backs down SO fast–and almost looks ashamed??? Too little, too late, you horrid man. I have no sympathy for him at all. But as a result of his guilty response (which includes him exhorting the old woman to make sure his wife is well-cared for and then him walking away comically FAST) the Princess Supreme’s late-night visit remains a secret, and she herself remains safe. Or as safe as she can be while living under that villain’s roof. Take out the Marquis, Lin Shu, do it, do it now!!

Chang Su walks the Princess Supreme out of his house to be polite, looking very calm, but the instant she’s gone his smile drops and he runs–or the closest we’ve ever seen him run, lolllll this poor invalid man–back into his cottage. Meng comes out of whatever cupboard he was hiding in (hey–where was Fei Liu this whole time? I just realized he was absent) and is like who could possibly want to drug Ni Huang???? Lin Shu, very deep in thought, says it has to be either the Empress or the favored Consort, the Crown Prince’s mother. And he says they won’t know which it is until one of them summons Ni Huang to the palace.

Aaaaand, end episode! Hoo boy, a LOT happened in this one, and again–it was all really important! Except for the boys training, I mean it’s important that they ARE training but those were the only scenes I felt like I didn’t have to pay attention to reaaaaal closely. Jing moves further into the foreground of the action in a big way, and we FINALLY get inside Lin Shu’s head a little as he shares at least a major part of what his endgame is. The stakes are sky high, everyone, and I worry that he’s not going to be able to handle what must be an immense amount of stress that will only worsen as things progress. He’s already having a hard time around Ni Huang, and he hasn’t been in court very long. Also, this cliffhanger is the most intense one yet, because it involves Ni Huang’s safety. I agree with the Princess Supreme that Ni Huang is clever enough to keep herself safe once she’s tipped off, so I hope Chang Su really can warn her at the palace fight! Too bad she can’t just punch the Empress or the Consort in the face, or something. That would be satisfying.

Next up: Episode 5! Hopefully I can get the post written and posted before my plane flight on Sunday. Also, I have a dance competition on Saturday, so really I would have to finish episode 5’s post by Friday to be able to post it before sometime late Sunday … I will try, but I can’t promise for sure.

Also! Sunday marks the beginning of my 10-day tour of Okinawa, which means my updates here will largely rely upon when I can find wifi. Adjust your expectations accordingly and just be prepared for my replies to comments and asks to be less prompt for a few days. And thanks again, guys, for making this viewing experience such a fun one, despite me putting off watching the show for about two years now? I only started writing these episode reactions/recaps for a couple individuals who specifically asked to know my thoughts, and I never expected there would be more of you out there who would be reading along, too, considering the show ended so long ago! Being able to chat with you all is really enhancing my first-time viewing experience, so thanks for that ^_^

#nirvana in fire #badpoet watches nif #badpoet watches #nif response ep4 #long post #cdramas

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