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peninkwrites · 3 years ago

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the dead don't dream - ch 35 of ?

Wilbur and Tubbo do the dishes.

(CW: mentions of past abuse and disassociation.)

crossposted to ao3

Ch 1

Ch 34

Ch 36

“Do you think they got stuck again?” Tubbo asks as he stares at the two empty chairs beside them.

“Hm?” Ranboo glances out the window of Tubbo’s home, the sky having turned dark. “Did you message him?”

“Yeah. He responded. Asked if Wilbur could come.”

“Then probably not.” Getting stuck. They don’t really have another way to describe it. Returning home to a dark house thinking no one is there only to find Wilbur and Tommy sitting in silence, this strange look in both of their eyes, blank. Almost dead. “Maybe he had to go get Wilbur?” Ranboo shrugs.

“Yeah. Maybe,” Tubbo frowns. “Is it just me or have they been doing it more lately?”

“What? Getting stuck?”

“Yeah.”

Ranboo hums as he considers this. “Well, yeah. I mean, I thought that was why you were trying to get them to spend time away from each other.”

“Am I being too pushy about it, d’you think?”

“No, no I don’t think so. I know Tommy likes spending time with you. And I don’t mind Wilbur, really, I don’t. He’s… interesting,” Ranboo mulls it over. “And Phil wants to spend time with him too, of course. I know things have been quieter in general since that whole Banquet… situation, but once things sort of even out, I bet other people will want to spend time with Wilbur too.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah?” Ranboo looks at him, surprised. “Do you not? I thought…” Ranboo doesn’t know what he thought. There are two conflicting versions of Wilbur that he has a vague idea of. One being the man who destroyed L’Manberg and hurt his friends, who had once been good but had long since turned away from the light, and the other being Tommy’s big brother who did whatever he could to save him. Although, Ranboo supposes, atoning to Tommy doesn’t mean he’s atoned to everyone else. “I don’t know. And either way, I don’t know if keeping them apart will stop them from doing that. I mean, I think we’ve got to figure out a… different solution.”

“Any ideas?”

“Well, no,” Ranboo frowns. “It’s not really hurting them, though, is it?”

“When they don’t eat or move all day, yeah. It is.”

“Ah. Yep, yep, point taken.”

“HELLO?” Tommy shouts through the front door.

Tubbo goes to answer it, looking irritable instead of amused. “And where have you been?” He stares at Tommy, hands on his hips like a disappointed parent.

Tommy’s teasing grin turns to confusion. “Ey?”

“You said you were coming to dinner an hour ago,” Tubbo snaps.

“Quit naggin’, what are you, my mum?” Tommy raises his hands defensively. “Not like you’ve got to worry about Dream nabbin’ me anymore, so what? Have a carrot, calm yourself.”

Tubbo accepts the carrot without really thinking about it, but it surprised him enough that his irritation waned. “I… I know Dream isn’t a problem anymore but it’s a bit hard to just… to just adjust to that. Just– Just tell me when you’re gonna fall off the map like that. Especially when we had plans.”

Tommy looks guilty now. “Sorry. I didn’t– We were gonna message you, just forgot. Got distracted.”

We. This draws Tubbo’s attention to the other tall and vaguely guilty looking person darkening his doorstep.

“Sorry, Tubbo. I think I was supposed to message you. Still not used to the whole…” Wilbur gestures vaguely in the air. “...communicating thing.”

Tubbo stares at Wilbur’s side. “You have your guitar.”

“What–? Oh. Yeah. I got it from Pogtopia earlier,” Wilbur almost looks embarrassed.

Tubbo looks to Tommy. “Pogtopia? That’s why you were late?”

“Uhhh. Yeah, I guess,” Tommy shifts uncomfortably.

Tubbo takes the hint and changes the subject, even if he wants to push. “Well, maybe ‘cause you’re late you don’t get to eat any of Ranboo’s fantastic cooking,” Tubbo dropped the carrot back on the dining table.

“Uh,” Ranboo isn’t sure which part he wants to protest more, Tubbo’s pettiness or calling his cooking fantastic. Edible was more how Ranboo might put it.

“Fine, then. I want my carrot back,” Tommy says stuffily.

A pause, Ranboo glancing to Wilbur to see if he had any better luck figuring out what the fuck was going on between the two of them. Wilbur looked amused if not mildly confused.

“Dickhead,” Tubbo rolls his eyes, returning to his seat at the table. “Well, come on then. Sit down. I got a fuckton of cod from the guardian farm, so. Thought we might as well actually eat some of it.”

Tommy takes his seat beside Tubbo and Wilbur the seat across from him.

“So, what did you boys do today?” Tommy leans back in his seat, letting it tip back on two legs dangerously.

“Guardian farm, so. A lot of time just traveling in a boat,” Ranboo shrugs.

“Surprised you like going to the guardian farm, Ranboo. Bit wet for you, hm?” Tommy teases.

“...No. I wear armor, remember?” Ranboo says dryly.

“Oooh asking me if I remember bold claim for you, isn’t it?” Tommy scoffs.

“Wait, you can’t… you’re an enderman…ish kind of guy. So, you can’t actually go in water?” Wilbur watches Ranboo curiously.

“Uhh nope.”

“How do you… drink?”

“Uh. If it’s not just straight up water it’s usually fine. Milk, tea, potions. Y’know,” Ranboo shrugs.

“And what about like… showering or washing your hands? Do you like, roll in dust like a chinchilla?” Wilbur seems genuinely intrigued.

Tubbo chokes on his drink, sputtering and wheezing until Tommy hits his back. Tubbo coughs, giggles still coming out as he tries to inhale.

Ranboo tries to look annoyed, it’s far from genuine. “...No. I don’t roll in dust, actually, if you need to know I drink a fire res potion and go in lava.”

Wilbur’s fascination only grows. “And… that… works?”

“Uh. Yep. So far,” Ranboo gives Tubbo a look as he continues to bury laughter.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Tubbo says, not sounding sorry at all. “Just– Just the thought of you rolling in the dirt– honestly, sounds like something Tommy would do–”

“Oy!” Tommy puts. “I mean, you’re not wrong, but–”

Wilbur laughs, loud and high, it fills the room. Tommy and Tubbo pause, for a moment exchanging a shared look of surprise and almost relief, an unspoken you heard it too, right?

They can’t remember the last time they heard Wilbur laugh like that. It feels older than so many things. Older than Pogtopia, even.

It’s more than a kindness to hear it again, it’s another resurrection.

Dinner is a simple thing. Laughter and warm food and a gentle sleepiness overtaking them.

“Ranboo, you sit. You cooked, I’ve got dishes,” Tubbo says firmly when Ranboo starts to get up.

“I could– I could help, if you want. We’re the guests,” Wilbur fumbles over his words. He hasn’t attempted politeness or courtesy in a long time.

Tubbo looks surprised. “Uh. Sure, Wilbur. Kitchen is through here,” Tubbo nods him back through a doorway.

Tommy sighs dramatically. “So, Ranboob. Are you or are you not currently living with Tubbo?”

Ranboo almost chokes on his drink. “What’d– What’d you mean by that?”

Tommy looks a him with narrowed eyes. “Dunno. What do you think I mean by it?”

“Uhhhh.”

The calm and laughter of the dining room stagnates into something more awkward as Tubbo and Wilbur enter the kitchen.

“Um. I wash, you dry?” Wilbur offers halfheartedly.

“Usually I wash. Ranboo dries because, you know, water.”

“Right,” Wilbur concedes. He stands there awkwardly, waiting for Tubbo to finish washing the first bowl. He watches Tubbo’s face carefully as Tubbo just stares down at the sink. Wilbur hadn’t remembered Tubbo’s scars looking so dark. Although, maybe they’d just been redder the last time Wilbur had seen him because they were still relatively new. “You know, it’s okay that you’re angry with me. I’d be surprised if you weren’t, to be honest. Tommy and me– Well, let’s just say we’ve already had our months of Tommy being pissed until… somehow, fuck if I know by what miracle he did, he forgave me. But you don’t have to do that and if you hate me, that’s alright.”

Tubbo frowns, shoving a bowl his way but not looking up.

“Sorry, man, I probably shouldn’t have… shouldn’t have dropped that on you,” Wilbur takes it, shoulders hunched as if trying to make himself smaller. “I… I left you with a nation– a– a crater. You were just a kid and I–”

“You can quit that now, Wilbur,” Tubbo is sharp.

“Sorry.”

“No,” Tubbo sighs irritably. “Don’t be sorry. I’m not–” Tubbo keeps washing what’s in front of him, not looking up. “Yeah, I have every right to hate you for what you did. But, I gotta be honest, I really don’t.”

“You… don’t?” Wilbur is taken aback, startled and fumbling as Tubbo hands him another bowl. He feels a sharp jolt of panic as he almost drops it. He’s already broken so much in Tubbo’s life. He can’t break his dishes too.

“Not really,” Tubbo gives him a look, stern but not unkind in a way that inexplicably reminds Wilbur of how Phil would act when he was getting into trouble as a kid. It makes his guilt spark just a bit louder at the thought of how old Tubbo seems. Tubbo continues, “mostly I’m just worried.”

“Worried?”

“About Tommy.”

“Oh,” Wilbur nods, understanding.

“And you.”

“O-Oh?” Wilbur’s voice grows hoarser, weak and emotional. He looks away for a moment, quickly brushing his eyes. “Careful. You’ll make me cry.”

Tubbo laughs. “I mean it. The two of you…” Tubbo pauses. He doesn’t know how to explain it in a way that seems fair. So he tries something else. Tubbo always does better when he has data to work with. “How does Tommy seem to you? Now, compared to when you were together in Limbo.”

Wilbur considers this carefully, stacking the dried bowls on the counter. “Better. Better by a fucking mile.”

“But?”

“But…” Wilbur sighs. “I guess I’m worried too. All the time. About everything,” after Wilbur says this he feels a spark of panic. It feels too honest, too vulnerable. His instinct tells him to regret sharing it, but he can’t bring himself to when for the first time he might actually have someone to share this weight with. “Although,” he clears his throat loudly. “Not to shabby, right? I’m not dead anymore. Can’t complain.”

“Hm,” Tubbo almost sounds surprised.

“What?”

“Do you think you’re not dead anymore?”

Wilbur stares at him with wide eyes. “What?”

“Well,” it’s Tubbo’s turn to be uncomfortable. “You don’t exactly act like you know you’re alive. You– and Tommy, really– act… not alive, is what I’m saying.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“Well,” Tubbo looks at him, eyebrows furrowed together. “What have you been worried about, then, if not this?”

Wilbur exhales the air from his cheeks, leaning against the counter as he ponders this. “I guess I’m more worried about the stuff I don’t understand. Tommy is… different. And– in theory– I know why that is, but in practice it’s a bit more enigmatic.”

“Fair point,” Tubbo agrees, thinking it over. “I know I don’t understand a lot of it, but you were… you were there for bits of it. So… what do you not understand?”

“So fucking much,” Wilbur says with a dry laugh. “I saw the… the aftermath, mostly. What I did see in person was brief and I hope it was you know, one of the worse examples. Dream was batshit insane and Tommy was sort of… I dunno.”

“What?” Tubbo pushes.

Wilbur frowns, thinking it over carefully. “He was… fragile. Insubstantial, even. That’s putting it lightly, but I don’t know how else to say it. They're just… When he was around Dream, it was like he shut down. He was scared, sure. And I wouldn’t expect Tommy to have argued or fought back like he would’ve back in the day, but I guess I expected more… struggle.” A pause, Tubbo waits. Wilbur cannot stop himself from being pulled into a spiral of darker thoughts. “And I ended up freaking out, trying to get Dream’s attention, but what really scared me wasn’t merely Dream about to hurt him– It was that Tommy was going to let him,” Wilbur shudders.

“What do you mean?” Tubbo asks even as he knows the answer, even as he feels white hot, useless rage.

“Dream was gonna– I think he was gonna cut off his thumb? That’s what looked like, at least, and when Dream asked for his hand, Tommy just… he just offered. He could’ve tried to run before and I guess I sort of get why Tommy wouldn’t have tried to run, it would be too easy for Dream to grab him, but Dream didn’t even have to grab his hand. He just had to– to ask.” Wilbur’s nose crinkles in disgust.

“Oh.” Tubbo hadn’t known all that. The glimpses of Tommy’s reality, of his corpse battered and bruised, of Dream keeping him pinned to the wall with a knife poised and ready, those had already been too much. Wilbur’s experiences are a shred more. None of it really shows a full picture. They don’t want a full picture. Rather, they just wish there was something they could know, some piece of it all that meant they could stop Tommy from flinching when people got too close, they could make eating no longer such a task for him, to stop him from getting nervous if left alone too long, and those dark moments, the really bad ones, where Tommy sees someone with a sword and his first instinct is to beg them to stop.

Nothing they can do will make them understand it nor make it easier to help him, but the truth of it is it doesn’t matter. No one can understand what he’s been through, not Wilbur, not anyone. But they’re going to walk him home anyway. They’re going to stay with him until he falls asleep, they’re going to leave doors open and unlocked, they’re going to kill mobs before they can even get close, they’re going to bandage his knuckles and tell him he hasn’t done anything wrong, they’re going to tell him he is alive and he is safe as many times as he needs to hear it.

They’re never going to understand but they’re never going to stop trying either.

“You know, I am sorry, Tubbo. Sorry that me leaving hurt you both so badly. I’m sorry that I chose for it to be that way. I know I’ve been a bad person so maybe I don’t deserve to live again–”

“No,” Tubbo says sharply.

“N-No?”

“No,” he repeats, staring Wilbur down, unwavering. “Whatever the side effects, you being back has helped Tommy more than anything else. So. Don’t apologize or dick around about it. Keeping being there for him.” Unspoken in his request, keep being alive for him.

“R-Right,” Wilbur nods, eyes wide. Tubbo’s previous sentiment, "I’m worried about him. And you.” circles his thoughts with a gentle ache. “I– I will.”

“Good,” Tubbo gives him a more approving look. “Now hush up and keep drying.”

Whatever resolution Tubbo and Wilbur had found, it’s still a relief to leave the tension behind and return to the dining room where Tommy continues to tease Ranboo.

Wilbur yawns. “It’s getting late, I should probably head out. Tommy, you coming or staying?”

Tommy slumps down in his chair, “I’m comfortable now. Not movin’.”

Wilbur laughs. “Right, fine. I’ll see you later, then. Ranboo, Tubbo,” he gives them each a nod, turning up the collar of his coat as he heads out.

“Oy! If you’re not gonna wear armor, be careful, Wil!” Tommy shouts after him.

“You know I will, Tommy!” Wilbur replies just before the door shuts behind him. Wilbur says it and almost surprises himself because it’s not a lie. He’ll be careful now, because he knows there are people who need him alive.

“Sorry to crash here, boys,” Tommy says, not sounding particularly sorry at all. “But I feel like I’ve pretty much claimed that couch. And Ranboo is basically moved in, so. Not like he’s been using it.”

Ranboo sinks down in his chair, one cheek blushing red, the other blushing green.

Tubbo raises an eyebrow. “He say something to you, Ranboo?”

“Not really. It’s more what he didn’t say, actually…”

“Hey, I’m fine,” Tommy raises his hands passively. “If the two of you want to do this, I don’t care. As long as he makes you happy.”

Tubbo smiles, fond to the last. “And what about you then?”

“About me what?” Tommy almost looks startled. He laughs, a low, awkward chuckle. “Look, Tubbo, you’re a… a great fella, but I don’t think I’m–”

“No,” Tubbo laughs, rolling his eyes, “I mean…” Tubbo tries to keep his lighter tone “Are you actually happy?”

Tommy is left fumbling. “What a fucking question to drop on a man– Have a bit more subtlety, will you?” Tommy sighs heavily. “Could you at least be more specific?”

Ranboo sits up, hesitating between words. “How are you… dealing with all this?” Ranboo asks carefully. “D’you think?”

“Dealing with what?” Tommy frowns.

“With… y’know, Wilbur being back.”

“What’s there to deal with. This is the good bit,” Tommy scoffs. “I got him back, I’m not having to deal with anything.”

Tubbo gives him a look. “You know what, I think you’re full of shit.”

“Don’t call me a fuckin’ liar!” Tommy snaps, with little malice behind his words.

“If this isn’t at least a little stressful for you, I’d be more worried, actually,” Tubbo says pointedly.

Tommy mulls this over, reluctant to agree. “And what of it, then?”

Tubbo and Ranboo share a look.

“Fucking hell– Have you two been fussing over me?” Tommy grumbles.

“Do you expect us not to, bossman?”

“Wilbur is not making me worse,” Tommy snaps.

“We never said he was,” Ranboo tries to placate him.

“So– So what are you saying, then?” Tommy doesn’t know why he’s so defensive.

The question Ranboo wants to ask is not a kind one, so he doesn’t say it. He just waits and hopes Tubbo will say something better.

How are you living?

Tubbo seems as unsure as Ranboo feels.

“Y’know, you and Wilbur, you don’t…” Ranboo glances to Tubbo for help once more, but Tubbo is still trying to read Tommy. “... do much.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“You’re a bit…” Tubbo tries to think of a better answer. “...aimless?”

“What’d you mean, I’ve got to have an aim? Eh? Why’s that?” Tommy is defensive on instinct, but he understands. He knows exactly what the two of them mean but that doesn’t mean he likes it. “I don’t know how,” he says hoarsely.

“How what, Tommy?” Tubbo asks.

“I dunno how to… how to exist. Without, like, a goal. Any goal. All of this shit– I always had a purpose didn’t I? Even if it was just… avoiding pain for a long time,” Tommy’s hands fidget restlessly, drumming on the table as he stares off into space. “So, you’re right. Me and Wil– We don’t do nothing. I don’t…” Tommy gets quiet, like these words aren’t really meant for anyone else. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do when I have a choice.”

“Tommy…” Tubbo doesn’t know what to say.

“No, no– listen, alright? I haven’t– I haven’t chosen fuck all for myself in… well, I dunno, a year? Almost nothing has been in my control until very fucking recently, so forgive me if I have no fucking clue what I’m meant to do now,” Tommy grows harsh. That’s easier than confronting the fact that he scares himself. “I don’t know what to do,” he says softly, rocking slightly in his chair. “What the fuck do I do? I don’t–” Tommy gets quiet, a gruff exhale of panic. He’s really fucking scared now. “I don’t remember what I fucking do. Alright? Before all this– What the fuck did I do? B-Before all this, there was– There was defacing George’s house?” He looks to Ranboo almost frantically. “A-And we saw how that turned out. And before that it was dead Wil–” Tommy cuts himself off with a barking, almost hysterical laugh. “He was fuckin’ dead and the war was over so I didn’t do much of anything! Before then it was the war and I know I said after the war I was gonna get the discs back from Dream but I did that bit I guess and I don’t feel like I won though, I didn’t win them back I barely fucking survived him so it’s not like it was a fucking accomplishment it was just done and now I don’t know what to do–” He looks to Tubbo, eyes wide and pleading. “What the fuck do I do?”

Tubbo doesn’t know how to answer him. Tubbo wasn’t allowed to do nothing. He had a nation to run and then he had a dead best friend and he still had a nation to run. So finding projects almost felt like an escape from his real responsibilities. He and Ranboo built the apiary because if he hadn’t Tubbo would’ve lost his fucking mind trying to keep L’Manberg together. And now…

He won’t tell Tommy this, but Tommy is his L’Manberg now. Something he’s responsible for. The main backtrack of Tubbo’s life right now is trying to help Tommy be okay again and the rest of it all is just keeping himself sane. None of them know a fucking healthy way to live. Not since L’Manberg. Real, true, original L’Manberg. That was a long time ago.

Tubbo doesn’t want to let down his walls, he doesn’t want to let Tommy down by telling him he doesn’t have an answer. He doesn’t have many options, so maybe something honest and hard and even a little unfair is the best he can do.

“I have no fucking idea, bossman. I haven’t like, been a person since… well, the election, I’d say,” Tubbo needs to say something to salvage all this. “But we… we can try and remember how together, alright? We used to do things together… maybe– Maybe we just need another good old scam to run, right? For old time’s sake?” Tubbo hopes Tommy can’t hear the desperation in his voice.

Tommy is listening, but he can’t stop staring at Wilbur’s guitar case by the door. Wilbur had left it here. Tommy knows it isn’t right nor fair, but he can’t help but think any hope of him getting better is tied to Wilbur. Tied to Tubbo too. Everything he is, everything that survived of him, is wrapped up in other people.

Ranboo follows Tommy’s gaze. Now is as good a time as any to bring it up. “You and Wilbur, Tommy,” Ranboo begins slowly. “You… you know when you guys do that thing? You both sort of… stop?”

“Stop? The fuck d’you mean, stop?” Tommy is shaken from his spiral by confusion.

“Well,” Ranboo glances to Tubbo for support. “Like, you both just…”

“You shut down, bossman,” Tubbo offers. “You both sort of… fade off and just… you know, when you both get stuck.”

“Oh,” Tommy understands now. “And what about it?”

“Well, I think– I mean, I don’t know, really, but I’d imagine that… you guys sort of getting stuck might be connected to the other stuff too?” Ranboo offers uncertainly.

“The fuck do you want me to do about it?” Tommy scowls.

“This isn’t– we’re not mad about it or–or being critical, we’re just…” Ranboo struggles to explain.

“We’re worried,” Tubbo finishes for him.

“I don’t– I don’t know how to fucking fix that any more than I can fix the rest of it!” Tommy snaps.

“We’re not expecting you to just find a way to fix things, but I think when we… when we asked about Wilbur and how you were doing with him being back… again, I’m not blaming anyone,” Ranboo says quickly, “but you started getting stuck when Wilbur came back. You both would get like that.”

“O-Okay, and?!” Tommy hopes he sounds more frustrated than nervous. He doesn’t deal well with criticism nowadays.

“We just wanna help,” Tubbo says carefully. “I was thinking. You and Wilbur should try to… to have things you plan on doing so you don’t end up just sitting in the dark.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

Tubbo glances back to the guitar case by the door. He doesn’t say anything. Tommy’s irritation dies easily as he follows his gaze. “I miss it too,” Tommy says quietly.

“Do you think he would?”

“I don’t know if he’s… ready,” Tommy says carefully. “Just like it took a while for me to be ready to… to get into trouble again.”

“Maybe you should start small then,” Tubbo offers.

“Oh yeah, and what would that be?”

“Um. Selling drugs?”

Tubbo and Tommy stare at each other for a moment, they burst out laughing, much to Ranboo’s bafflement. The absurdity of it all feels safe. Safer than a lot of things have felt lately.

“The cure to all of our ills, eh? Selling drugs,” Tommy nods sagely.

“Couldn’t hurt.”

“Yeah,” Tommy doesn’t know if he should feel better from such a small, useless thing. It’s not a plan nor a solution by any means, it’s literally and perfectly a joke. But it’s something. “Couldn’t hurt.”

#finally right #tddd #my writing

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lexiwright · 4 years ago

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Night out

Benny watts x reader

I'm so so so sorry this to so long to come out. I had planned it to be out for new year and then I kept changing my mind so it may not seem like it makes sense apologizes, I'm also promptly moving tomorrow. I literally was told my parents couldn't handle me and my mental health anymore and am not getting kicked out just ( space for everyone ) so yea I'm feeling very low and just so no one wonders why the next one will probably take so long. I'll be living with my real mum who has her own issues too so we will see

Trigger warning - slight alcohol miss use. Slight drunken abuse (not from benny he would never.)

Some cuddles and fluff

Prompt - ”Can you please come and get me ”

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It had been a less than successful night. Your sure others wouldn't agree but you sat next to a gutter at the side of a very quiet road in front of a building of which merely hours ago you had been drinking aside friends in had drunk adults spilling from the door as everyone came and went.

Your arms wrapped tightly around yourself, you glanced around and spotted a payphone a little down the street. Pulling yourself off the ground and reaching for your bag you stumble your way away from the slow rumbling music that clung around the door from inside. It got distant and you fell into the booth.

You thought about how the night had started. The party had been on everyones mind for days. You were going with cleo and the boys. Beth was even gonna meet you guys there. Who was in New York for a few days, staying in a hotel a few blocks from the party. Although she didn't stay long, trying to keep sober.

You guys had got there around 11. In time for the beginning of shots being pasted around. Which you off course accepted. Kick starting the night with some vodka.

All went well for a few hours, by about 2 you'd put back your fair share of drink. And that's when it started to hit you. You weren't a stranger to the results of alcohol tho and kept going like it was nothing.

But apparently your uneven walking had caught the attention of some...less than pleasant individuals. They had tried talking to you before and you just ignored them. They had a look in their eyes that you weren't comfortable with so you didn't dwell on them.

But they had dwelled on you it seemed. They noticed as your balance had started to wobble. Quite possibly noticing when your words all slurred together. And definitely when you stumbled in front of them as you had unsuccessfully attempted to step past one of them. But there was no call for the man to grab you. And not in a way to help you balance. You told him to let go. But his hands had other ideas. You tried to pull his hands off of you and your not sure what happened next but he slapped you.

You probably did something wrong you thought. You always screw things up.

Some words were exchanged and you rushed out. Not after kneeling him in a not so nice place. he tried to grab you. Ripping the shoulder of your one straps. It was a cheap dress but now you had to make sure you help up the strap just in case.

You felt humiliated and your face hurt.

You found some money in your bag, next to some mint gum that you decided was a higher priority.

Benny hadn't come to the party. He thought it sounded stupid. And when you had stepped out of your room into the middle of the apartment he looked at you and snorted.

” what do you expect to get in that get up?” he asked suggestively.

You didn't think anything of it and giggled at him. But now you thought maybe it truly was your fault an that you seemed like you were asking for it.

Shaking your head to clear it of such thoughts. Which made the small booth spin a little but you stuck with it. Putting in the coins and trying to remember the right numbers for the house. You felt sick as you listened for the click of the phone being a answered and a harsh voice on the other end speaking.

”hello?”

It was Benny. Hopefully you hadn't woke him.

” Benny?” you whispered out. Realising you had to speak

” Y/N?” he questioned. Voice softening a little.

You twirled the cable as you stared at your shaking hand.

Your throat seemed to close up as you looked for the words. To explain how drunk you had got. To explain what the men tried to do to you. Why you hadn't come home yet even though it was now 3.

” Y/N what's the matter” he asked sternly.

Your eyes pricked with sudden tears and with a slight choke you sobbed out.

”Can you please come and get me ”

”what happened where are the others?” he seemed startled

” I don't know. I'm sorry. Please Benny.”

There was a split second of silence and then

” I'm coming to get you stay right where you are. ” and then another click.

You waited. Felt like a life time. You thought about a lot of things. Part of you was worried Benny wouldn't come. That he would leave you here. You struggled to keep your self balanced so you went over to a step and sat down. Put your head in your hands with your elbows resting on your thighs.

You sighed. Maybe you should find your own way. You sat up and ran your fingers through your hair.

It wasn't to long before a taxi pulled up in front of you and outstepped a slightly frustrated looking Benny.

His hair askew and a loose black shirt, he took a few long strides to reach you.

Looking up you giggled at how tall he looked. Sighing at your antics he held out a hand and began to pull you too your feet.

Wobbling considerably you made it to an upright position and with a long arm around your waist you stumbled your way to the taxi.

You some how got in. A testament to what a person would do to get away from a party.

You could tell he hadn't noticed your strap or face yet, you had concealed it well. Somehow.

Time didn’t work for you so you’ve no idea how long it took to get home. But when you did benny got out first to open the door for you and pay the driver.

Thanking the man. He shut the car door and watched for a second as it pulled away before turning his attention to the more presssing matter of the drunking idiot before him. Giggling at a joke he obviously missed.

He noticed your face. You saw the moment he did and he stepped closer. Enough to see the outline of a hand.

This was when Benny realised there was a little more to this story of you just getting blitzed as he, for the first time took in your appearance, clocking the strap you were holding up with your arms folded.

A hint of rage passed through him before he calmed and took your hand to get you inside. You were barely three steps into the building befor you asked

“How am I supposed to get down the stairs”

Slurring lightly.

He sighed. Not for the last time and leaned down to hoist you into his arms and proceeded with caution as he walked with you. You giggled some more as you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging into him.

You were drained. And you wanted to sleep. Leaning your face into his neck you've never felt safer.

When he reached the bottom he placed you down gently and unlocked the door to let you both in. This time just holding you round the waist as you wobbled down the small set of stairs. He then pulled you to the sofa and sat you down.

After doing the usually after drinks things like water and getting you a jumper and some shorts of his he then sat next to you and spoke for the first time since you's had got in.

”are you going to tell me what happened?” he gently pushed. Not wanting to push you over the limit but he was concerned.

Your face fell and you nodded a little and told him very roughly but enough that he understood what had happened. He was angry, to say the least, but knew there was nothing he could do about the disrespectful toad roaming the streets. So he settled to offer you an open arm for you to cuddle into him. You of course jumped at the offer and snuggled into the warm man.

You didn't want to go to bed and Benny knew that. Knowing you'd not have the effort to get up and both being quite comfortable where you both remained.

You spotted a book on the coffee table and looked up at Benny with puppy dog eye that you knew he couldn't refuse.

” will you read to me?” you pleaded.

He chuckled and lent forward to retrieve the book. It happened to be the hobbit. ( I know it's not for everyone but I know it's written before Benny time so apologies please roll with it)

As he started to read chapter one an unexpected party and began describing the hobbit hole. You felt yourself begin to doze off to the soothing tones and his other hand rubbing soft circles on your upper arm.

It wasn't how the night had supposed to go but you were with him now and you felt protected. Knowing he came to your aid.

(with regards to the slap Yes I know this is a little unrealistic it lasting that long but I once got one that lasted a few hours ( I’m not being hit just to clarify it was a joke with some pals who one of them was telling me about a slap match to see how much he could take and the other we were with friend had really went for it and it was actually shockingly sore and my drunk ass went I can take it and he was reluctant at first and then went to go and did it before stating that was hadn’t been hard enough and went again even harder and it left quite a mark and we all laughed so ya. ) but just pretend if you don’t think it would )

#benny watts oneshot #benny watts x oc #benny watts fanfiction #benny watts imagine #benny #benny watts x reader #benny watts #queens gambit #thomas brodie sangster

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xomarauders · 4 years ago

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posted this on ao3 awhile back and had a hard time getting tumblr to upload it, but it finally worked so here you go

content warning for referenced child abuse

The warmth of summer filtered through the window, casting rays of sunshine across the floor of James Potter’s bedroom carpet where Remus was splayed out, tracing patterns into the ridiculously soft material. He was sure that James charmed it to keep it so fluffy, otherwise it would not have survived the footfalls of four, rowdy boys that found refuge here during the summer. It used to be only the three of them—James, Remus, and Peter, that is—until Sirius was able to join permanently halfway through the summer season. His parents had never allowed for him to visit the Potter’s while he was still living under their roof, but now that the raven-haired boy had run away and was officially disowned, well, Remus was sure the carpet would have wilted under Padfoot’s grubby paws by now.

Either way, Remus was sure that there was nothing better than laying on James’ charmed carpet with his three best friends, listening to music from the record player—that had also been charmed to work without electricity—and chatting about whatever came to their minds. They were all sat on the floor aside from Sirius, who was perched in the window, smoking, and watching as the birds flew around outside. Remus smirked—the boy really was such a dog.

“It’s our last years at Hogwarts, boys,” James announced as he pushed his glasses further up his nose, “what are we going to do once it’s all over?”

It was a question that held a lot of weight, depending on how you looked at it. What were they going to do as far as it came to pranks and leaving their legacy at Hogwarts or what were they going to do as soon as they graduated. Maybe get jobs, possibly go to university, more likely join the Order to fight a war they didn’t start. Remus didn’t care to think about any of these things. His future had been something he considered to be doomed since he was four years old and suddenly had to share his mind with a beast that tore apart his body every month. He had never even planned on having the life he had gotten—the chance to go to Hogwarts, to make friends…to fall in love.

He cast glance toward Sirius, whose own gray eyes were already looking to Remus, a thoughtful expression on his face. Remus grinned at him, tilting his head so that his curls fell into his eyes. Sirius smiled back, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He’d been smiling like that a lot, lately. Remus made a mental note to ask him about it later that night.

“I don’t know about you lot, but I have no idea what I’m going to do without all of you around,” Peter said.

“Don’t worry, mate,” James said, patting Peter on the shoulder, “you can’t get rid of us that easy! Marauders till the end, right?”

There was a certain admiration that Remus held for James Potter, the savior of the cursed and the damned. He had banded them all together; the timid boy, the broken werewolf, and the wayward heir to make a family. Remus would never be able to repay James for the unconditional love he’d shown him, but he was willing to try everyday for the rest of his life.

“Marauders till the end,’ Sirius repeated, extracting himself from the window as he put out his cigarette. He joined them on the floor, laying down next to Remus and pressing himself tightly against the other boy. Remus wrapped his arm around Sirius, partially out of habit and partially because it was what Sirius needed, something he was starved of. Touch had been something of a guessing game between the two of them ever since they started their relationship. Neither of them were quite used to being touched in such casual ways until they became friends with James—who was constantly giving out hugs like they were candy—and starting a relationship had made the concept even more confusing. Not only did they have to think about what sort of casual touching was okay for each of them, but now they had to factor in intimate contact. Kissing was okay, just as long as they were alone in the safety of Remus’ four poster bed or hidden in one of the various alcoves they had discovered while creating the Marauders Map. Remus thought it might even be okay here, in James’ bedroom, to sweetly kiss his boyfriend without fear of judgment or ridicule. Still, he let Sirius make those decisions, allowed him to initiate any sort of contact between them because while Remus’ aversion to touch stemmed from not being able to trust himself, Sirius’ came from not being able to trust others. He was easily spooked by any sort of sudden movement that came his way, a side effect of Walburga Black’s outstanding parenting skills, and no amount of James’ casual hugs or Remus’ gentle caresses have seemed to break him of this habit.

“What are you thinking about, Moons?” Sirius whispered. James and Peter were too busy arguing over which record to play next to notice their other two friends.

“You,” Remus said easily. Sirius blushed—an image Remus would never tire of seeing—and reached up with his slender fingers to brush away the curls that had fallen in Remus’ eyes.

“Me,” Sirius said, a hint of astonishment in his voice.

Remus wished Sirius wouldn’t sound so surprised at the idea of someone thinking of him. It hurt to know that Sirius did not quite value himself the same way Remus, James and Peter did and it was times like these where Remus wanted to meet Walburga and Orion Black in person just so he could give them a piece of his mind.

“Lads,” James said, throwing himself on top of them unceremoniously, “let’s head on downstairs. I think mum’s made dinner.”

The four of them trailed down the stairs, Sirius holding Remus’ hand while James raced ahead to slide down the railing. Fleamont was in the parlor, reading the newspaper and looking up as the boys made their presence known. He greeted them all, and asked James in a calm tone to perhaps not ride the staircase like a broomstick. James at least had the decency to turn red before assuring his dad it would never happen again (everyone knew it would). Euphemia was in the kitchen, apron tied around her waist and her gray hair up in a knot on her head. Sirius leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, and she gently reached out to him, not quite taking his face in her hands until she saw the smallest nod of permission.

“My darling,” she said, her eyes welling up with tears, “you look well.”

Remus knew what Euphemia was thinking about as she took in Sirius’ appearance. It was the same thing he had thought of over and over again as he laid in bed at night, his arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriend in attempt to keep him safe from the nightmares that occupied his mind. The frail and beaten Sirius that had collapsed on the Potter’s doorstep those few weeks ago had been nursed back to health by the healing powers and carefulness of Euphemia Potter. Still, it was hard to get that image of Sirius lying half dead out of Remus’ mind. He could hardly imagine what it was like for Euphemia who had seen the worst of his injuries after shoving everyone else out of the room in order to heal him. James, Remus, and Peter had stayed up all night, waiting outside the spare bedroom door where they could hear Euphemia sobbing over Sirius’ sleeping form. Remus would rather have faced the full moon a hundred times instead of waiting those long three days for Sirius to wake up.

“Thanks, mum,” Sirius said. The four boys crowded around the kitchen table, eagerly reaching toward the various dishes Euphemia had spread about. Fleamont had joined them, sitting between his wife and Sirius. James immediately went for his mother’s main dish, filling his plate full before passing it to Peter, who was already nibbling on some naan. Remus loved Euphemia’s cooking. It was different than that of his mother’s—not that he would ever pass up his mam’s wonderful Sunday dinners—and he was happy to able to enjoy the different flavors offered whenever he visited. Euphemia always made far too much, making sure that everyone got their fill as well as some leftovers. She was an angel, truly.

Sirius did not fill his plate as full as the others. He was still very thin, with his jaw looking more pronounced and Remus knew his hipbones were a bit more jutted out. Punishments at Grimmauld Place were harsh and Sirius had been starved well into the first few months of summer. It was still a process, trying to get him to eat without getting sick, but they were managing best they could. Remus watched as Sirius poked at his food, looking a bit scared of it before setting his fork down and letting out a frustrated sigh. James looked up from his own plate, regarding Sirius with a look of concern from across the table.

“You okay there, Padfoot?” He asked, keeping his tone light but Remus could see the worry in his dark eyes. Sirius nodded, picking up his utensils once more.

“Yeah. I’m fine, just…” He trailed off, looking down at the table and not daring to meet anyone’s eye. Remus felt a sudden need to shield Sirius away from everyone else’s intense gaze, the wolf within him becoming quite territorial. He pushed those feeling away, not permitting the wolf access to its most basic instincts in the fear that the wolf might be visible on the surface. Still, even his human mind seemed to want to take Sirius away from the scrutiny.

“Darling,” Euphemia said, “you don’t have to eat it all. Just a few bites of naan if you can bear it. Just to keep up your strength.”

Sirius smiled tightly at her but did not move to eat. The rest of them reluctantly picked at their own food, trying to keep things as normal as possible. Fleamont engaged his son in conversation about Quidditch, asking after the Gryffindor team and what he thought their chances were this upcoming school year. Peter politely asked after the herbs Euphemia was growing in her kitchen—he had a thing for herbology—and she answered each question with detail. Remus turned his attention to Sirius, his hand coming to rest on the older boy’s knee. Sirius flinched slightly and then blinked as he realized it was only Remus.

“Do you want to go on a walk?” Remus asked quietly, rubbing circles with his thumb into Sirius’ thigh. The other boy nodded, standing quickly, and exiting the kitchen. The conversations happening came to an abrupt halt and Remus could feel James’ gaze turn towards him. He looked to his friend, a silent conversation passing between them.

Is he okay?

No, but he will be.

Remus walked out, trailing through the living room and out the back door which lead to the Potter’s spacious garden. When Remus had first visited the Potter’s home when he was thirteen, he had the startling realization that James Potter was very well off. It was a bit daunting, especially since Remus’ whole house could probably fit within one room of the mansion and he had been a bit nervous to even touch anything in fear of breaking it. Of course, Fleamont and Euphemia were no stranger to rough-housing, having known exactly what they were getting into with their own son, and Remus’ worries were quickly put to ease when Euphemia simply waved her wand at a vase that had tragically fallen to the floor amidst their game of dog-pile on Peter. Young Remus had almost forgotten that magic existed outside of Hogwarts, and he was in awe at seeing performed in such a domestic setting.

His favorite part of James’ home though was the garden. It was so big! There were wonderful trees that provided much needed shade on hot summer days, and pools of water run by magic to keep the vegetation alive. There were many times the boys pretended to be magizoologists searching for creatures in a jungle, or highly trained aurors on the hunt for evil wizards and—Remus’ personal favorite—pirates looking for treasure. It was a place filled with joy and adventure and even as the boys got older, it remained their sanctuary. Sirius had spent a lot of time in the garden since he arrived, sitting by himself beneath the starlit sky, crying out for his brother and the family that had hurt him. Remus had watched in privately, not daring to intrude on such moments, but wanting to be within reach just in case.

Sirius sat there now, next to a bed of deep red roses, softly running his fingers across the petals. Remus walked up, careful not spook him, and sat down beside him. He flickered his eyes in Sirius’ direction and noticed the other boy had started crying, but he did not pry. Now was not the time for that. Instead, he let his fingers trail through the grass beneath him and let his words fall lazily off his tongue.

“I read a new book at the beginning of summer,” Remus began, his tone light. “Mrs. Dalloway. It was a quick read. The entire novel takes place over the course of one day, how interesting is that? It’s become one of my favorites I think. Woolf is a great author—Virginia Woolf, she’s the one who wrote it.”

Sirius seemed to perk up at this. “Woolf? Could you be anymore ironic, Moony?”

A light laugh escaped Remus. “Believe me, I know. Mum was worried about that when she got it for me.”

The tension snapped back into Sirius as quickly as Remus realized his mistake. Hope Lupin was a generous woman, young and vibrant with a taste for progressive ideologies and love for everyone she met. She adored her son and kept him safe, never shying away from him despite his affliction with lycanthropy and Remus sometimes forgot how lucky he was to have her in his life until he was sat next to Sirius and realized that the Hope Lupin’s and Euphemia Potter’s of the world were unfortunately not the norm for everyone.

“They hate me,” Sirius says abruptly. “They hate that I don’t agree with them. That I don’t want to fucking pledge my allegiance to some dark lord who wants to kill all my friends and I—” he chokes off, a sob escaping him, “I don’t want to care, Remus. I don’t want to be bothered by the fact that my mother would rather curse me instead of hug me and that my father would rather have me dead instead of tarnishing his precious family name. But I do. I do care because they should care. I’m their son, I am their fucking flesh and blood and if blood is all that matters to them then why don’t they care about me?”

There were tears in his eyes as he looked at Remus, tears that Sirius had been holding back ever since he was eleven years old and discovered that parents were not supposed to punish their children for wanting to be loved, the pain and anguish of that realization that had built up over time finally reaching a breaking point. Remus’ own heart was breaking as he stared helplessly, not knowing what to do. These were not problems children were supposed to have. They were supposed to be young, careless, and dreaming up pranks to pull once they got back to school. Instead, they had to contend with a looming war and parents who were cruel and a curse that transformed you into a monster. This was their life, and it would never be easy, Remus thought, not for them.

“Sirius,” Remus whispered, “there are no words I can say to express to you how sorry I am that you’ve had to deal with any of this. Your parents…they’re wrong. They are so fucking wrong and they are so fucking blind for not being able to love you. You are the most loveable human being. You’re generous and caring and you…you take notes for me. When I miss class. And you always make sure my pillows are nice and fluffy after the moon and you rub those soothing salves on my skin at night. And you make me that special tea whenever I’m sick and you read to me when I can’t sleep. You kiss me like it’s the first time every time and you love me like it’s the only thing you’re meant to do. You clean James’ glasses for him and you make sure his Quidditch gear is ready to go on game day. You help Peter study and you let him go on and on about divination with you despite it being your least favorite subject. You’re the first one up to dance with Marlene at the parties and you braid Lily’s hair whenever she’s feeling upset over her sister. You are one of a kind, Sirius Black. You are a good friend and a good brother and you are the love of my life. Believe me when I tell you that you are loved.”

Sirius stared at him, the tears falling from his eyes leaving trails across his cheeks. He reached out for Remus, pulling the taller boy closer to close the distance between them. Sirius’ lips met Remus’, a tender kiss filled with gratitude and love and the promise of forever. When Sirius pulled away, his eyes were still shining, but there was new fervor there, a look of life that Remus had not seen reflected in those silver orbs for a long time.

“I love you so much,” Sirius said. And he smiled genuinely for the first time in months.

Remus smiled back. “I love you, too.”

“Come on,” Sirius said, standing up and offering his hand. “Let’s head back in.”

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chudleycanonficfest · 3 years ago

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Dancing Around You

Day 31, Post #2 by @adenei

Title: Dancing Around You

Author: adenei

Pairing: James x Lily

Prompt: First Date

Rating: T

TW: Some language and mentions of past abuse.

a/n: inspired by the scene in In The Heights when Vanessa and Usnavi go to the club.

*****************

I walk into the corner shop in my neighborhood and see James, Remus and Sirius talking by the counter. The scene causes more annoyance to course through me, which probably stems from the shit mood I’m already in. James and Sirius are supposed to be working, since this is their job. And why isn’t Remus at the broadcast station across the street at his own job?

So what if James owned the shop after it was left to him when his parents passed? Work is still work, and he shouldn’t be skiving off while on shift. I’ve busted my arse day in and day out for the last three years so I could save up to rent a flat in Camden to pursue a career as an interior designer. Moving out of Peckham to a more centralized location will help put me on the map as a well sought after designer.

But that was all for nothing. I’ve just returned from my meeting with the realtor, and despite having enough rent saved up for a whole year, plus the security deposit, he waved me off as if I belonged in the slums! The twat said I needed someone to co-sign a lease with me. Tears sting my eyes as I’m reminded once again of how alone I am. Having walked out at seventeen to escape my parents’ emotional abuse for the last seven years, I had no one to turn to despite the close-knit neighborhood I lived in because this was a secret goal that no one knew about.

I’m sure Marlene’s mum would be more than happy to co-sign a lease with me, but I couldn’t ask that of her. Not when she’s done so much for me already. No, I just need to hold my head high and keep moving forward. I put on my business face and strengthen my resolve, so the boys don’t suspect anything out of the ordinary.

Walking over to the fridge, I grab a Fanta and a Coke for Mrs. McKinnon. When I left the office earlier for my appointment, she asked me to bring one back. Now, I have to return to my job as her secretary at her own Real Estate office and try not to resent every client who walks in the door. When I shut the refrigerator door and turn to head to the register, I see James leaning against the glass of another fridge door.

When the hell did he creep up on me?

“Evans, how’s it going?”

“It’s been better.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

For a moment, I think about letting him in. I open my mouth to say something, but change my mind at the last second.

“You wish.”

“Right, well, what are you doing tomorrow?”

Narrowing my eyes, I observe James. We’ve been friends for years, and it’s a friendship I cherish more than anything. He’s always been there to make me laugh, to match my sarcasm and wit, and he’s never been afraid to go toe-to-toe with me. I know him well, almost as well as I know myself, but I’m not expecting his question or the butterflies that flutter in my stomach in response.

I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t attractive. His perpetual bedhead, black hair and piercing yet kind hazel eyes have always stood out to me. It’s no secret that he’s fit from lifting boxes all day and playing on a club football team in his free time. But I’ve never allowed myself to think there could be anything more between us besides friendship.

So, why does it feel like he’s asking me out? Am I misreading the signs? I decide to keep the ball in his court to get a better read on his intentions.

“I’m going dancing with Marlene and Mary,” I reply, keeping my voice cool and collected.

“Oh, sounds like fun.” He glances down at the bottles in my hands. “All set, then?”

I nod, and If I’m not mistaken, his shoulders slump as he turns to head back to the counter. Should I have invited him and the guys to join us? Before I can ponder it further, Sirius cuts me off and pushes me back into the aisle.

“You and the girls are going dancing? That sounds like fun. I’d bet my buddy over there would love to join you.” He raises his eyebrows as if willing me to catch his subtle hint, which I do.

“Wait, was James just trying to ask me out tomorrow?”

Sirius shrugs. “Probably, but you two have been friends forever, and despite his smooth-talking with most females, he seems to get tongue-tied around you.”

A burst of laughter bubbles out of me. “James? Tongue-tied? Around me? What are you smoking?”

“Nothing, Evans. Just pointing out a fact.”

Fine, if Sirius is going to pester me about this, I will prove him wrong. I brush past him toward James so I can pay for the drinks and be on my way. Sliding a couple pounds to James over the counter, I smirk at him.

“You know, Potter, I could use a dancing partner tomorrow night. Pick me up at eight?”

His head snaps up, and he looks shocked before a goofy smile replaces the surprise on his face. “Er, yeah, alright. I mean, if you’re sure—”

Cutting him off, I put him out of his misery. “Great, see you then.”

The following evening, we’re walking into Alohomora, the most popular nightclub in Peckham. My friends and I frequent the club at least once a month. I love its mix of neons glowing amongst the blacklights and the worn leather benches framing the booths around the perimeter of the dance floor. It’s come to feel like a second home to me.

Dancing is an outlet for my frustrations. I love letting the music consume my soul as the loud thumps of the bass vibrate through my body as I spin on the floor. Tonight will be no different, except that James is with me. As my date. At least, I think he’s my date. Neither of us have actually talked about what this is.

“Wow, I haven’t been here in ages. Have they changed the layout recently?” James asks.

“Not that I can recall,” I wave his question off as I hear a number of people shout my name in greeting.

“I didn’t realize how popular you were here, Evans. I’m impressed.”

“Impressed by what? It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I have more friends than you three. I hope that doesn’t make you jealous.” My playful banter is accompanied by a smirk as James laughs.

“Me? Jealous? Of course not. Care for a drink first?”

“Sure.”

Usually, I’d prefer to dance a bit first, but I don’t want to drag James onto the dance floor if he doesn’t want to. I’m not even sure if he enjoys dancing since I’ve never seen him here before. He’s flagging down the bartender when someone calls to me.

“Lily! Hey, Lily!” Terry Fawcett is pushing his way through the crowded dance floor. “Wanna dance?”

He holds out his hand when he reaches me, but I shake my head.

“Sorry, Ter, I’m here with someone else tonight.”

James turns as he overhears the interaction and waves me on. He contorts his face in a weird, ‘trying to be chill, but still looks sort of pained’ way.

“It’s alright, Evans, go ahead.”

I’m taken aback. Maybe we really weren’t on a date. “But—are you sure?”

“Yeah, just save one for me later.”

“Oh, well, alright.”

My hand falls into Terry’s even though I’m not certain I want to dance with him. There’s an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’m not used to as I walk away from James. It’s ridiculous, but I think I’m actually disappointed that James passed me off so easily. And I’m just as mad at Sirius for even putting the thought that James might fancy me in my head because it’s all I’ve been able to think about since yesterday afternoon.

Well, there’s only one way to find out once and for all if he cares. Make him jealous.

I dance as I’ve never danced before when the music changes to an upbeat Latin tune. I spin around the floor, dancing with Terry before I’m passed off to other men that I’ve danced with once or twice in the past. It takes everything in my power to not steal glances at James, but I do catch when his baffled look turns dark as he begins to scowl at the men who are practically lined up to dance with me.

By the time he does walk out to the dance floor to cut in, I’m exhausted. He pulls me into his arms, but I’m still annoyed that he’s waited this long.

“Potter, I need a break.”

I pull away from him and walk toward the bar, where Sirius holds two drinks in his hands. I grab one and slam it down, shoving the glass into his chest once it’s empty. Then, I turn and head for the exit to get some air. It’s much quieter on the street, save for the ambient sounds of traffic in the background, a stark contrast to inside the club. I lean against the wall as I catch my breath and watch the cars go by.

The door to the club opens, and the music splits the night air as James steps out.

“Evans, what the hell was that?”

“What was what?” I ask, feigning ignorance.

What? Is he angry? Good. Let him be angry.

“You! You ask me to come with you, spend all night dancing with other blokes, and then when I try to cut in, you ditch me.”

A derisive bark escapes my lips as I push off the wall and step closer to him, matching his stance.

“Don’t you dare try to blame this on me, Potter. You’re the one who pushed me away! I would have been perfectly happy dancing with you all night, but no, you sat back and watched as I danced with everyone else.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do!?”

He can’t be serious right now, playing the victim and passing this onto me. There’s no way I’m letting him get away with this. I step even closer, thankful that my heels bring me closer to eye level with him, so it’s more of an even match.

“I don’t know, put your arm around me and tell the bloke to fuck off? That I’m taken?”

“Are you taken?”

“I don’t know, am I?”

Our breathing is heavy, chests heaving as our noses are a hair’s width apart. All I can focus on is the intensity in his eyes, the gold flecks burning like the flames in a fire. I wait for him to say something, or do something, anything except stare at me. I give him more than enough time, and he doesn’t make a move, so I decide that I’m done.

As much as I don’t want to, I break eye contact and turn away. I’m not in the mood to stay out, so I begin the walk home. James and I are friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be, but that doesn’t stop me from cursing Sirius for putting the thought that we could be more in my head. Because now that I’ve accepted the thought, I’m not sure I want to stay friends. But it’s clear now, this wasn’t meant to be anything special, and I was stupid for thinking it could be.

#chudleycanonficfest2021 #HP fest #hp canon pairings #canon fest romantic

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chimtaesty · 4 years ago

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broken souls (pjm!hybrid au)

plot :Helping hybrids is your passion, as a local hybrid center calls you for help because of a abused and broken panther hybrid you pack your stuff and hurry to put him back together.

warnings: death, abuse | 4.9k words

a/n: hi there, it’s been a while huh? I’m finally back and better than ever. I released two stories lately which seemed like a fever dream so i won’t continue them but i hope you are ready to keep supporting my stuff :) I hope you like this story since i spent a lot of time and thoughts on it :)

masterlist

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Am i talking to Y/N?”

“Yes you are, who is this?”

“Oh, i’m sorry for not introducing myself, my name is Helen Wallis and I'm the Head of the Hybrid Rehabilitation Center Crystal Snow. I’m calling because we take care of a very delicate case at the moment, the issue is that we don’t know how to take further care of this poor soul and I heard that you are an amazing psychologist student who even helped the Seong-girl out of her cruel thoughts. If you could maybe take your time to take a look at this broken boy we would all be really thankful.”

To be honest, this girl didn’t take a lot of work. She was spoiled and upset because a boy in her school rejected her. The only reason this became a big thing was because the parents are influential people. But you would love to help someone who needed your help so you didn’t have another choice.

“I would gladly take a look at him, if you could send me his file.”

“Oh yes, of course. Thank you a lot Y/N, your help means a lot”

You’ve looked at the same three sheets of paper for the last two hours and you can’t believe what’s printed on it. The sentences make you angry and give you the feeling of having to throw up. He was raised on a local farm which turned out to be an underground fighting ring. He had to take drugs. He was raped and had to watch his mum getting killed, the only person on this planet who he loved. He has lost someone just like you, you may be able to connect with him faster than with Seong Hye-Jin.

The speed of your heart beating decreases as you pack the papers back into your bag. The bus rumbles and your stop arrives faster as you expected it to. The building looks nice, it has a big blue sign on top that says “Crystal Snow Rehabilitation Center”. It’s a short walk across the street to the entrance. As you walk towards the front desk a chubbier in white dressed older lady walks towards you. “You must be Y/N, it’s so nice to meet you. I called you earlier this week” you nod and shake her hand. “Yes, I tried to prepare myself as well as possible, but i’m not sure if he is going to welcome my help. I would say we just give it a try.”

The walk to Jimin’s room is long, there are a lot of doors, hallways and two elevators involved. Before Helen opens the door she turns around and clasps your hands in hers. “I need you to be careful. I couldn’t forgive myself if he hurt you. If something goes south please shout immediately, security is right outside this door. God may bless you” she whispers the last sentence as she turns the key and the door opens. You smile at Helen and take a step in. You never thought much about god or christianity, it’s all a hoax. Where was god when you needed him?

“Please leave the door open until I say otherwise” you whisper towards Helen and she nods. As you take a look inside the tiny room you are reminded of your bedroom at your parents house. It was tiny but cozy, Jimin might feel the same.

There he is, laying on his bed facing the window. “Hi there, Jimin. My name is Y/N, I would like to talk to you. Is that fine with you?” He doesn’t say anything nor does he move. He’s not ignoring you though, he’s listening very well. “Should i leave the door open?” you ask silently and he doesn’t answer, he turns around to look at you. A thing catches your attention immediately, the big scar across his left eye.

He nods and you nod back not saying anything. “Can i sit myself down over there or should I stay here?” you ask again to tear his attention from the open door, this is no time to do something dumb. “Stay” he whispers and you comply, he wants to keep you at a distance. The spot you’re standing at is a great place to oversee everything you do. “Alright, i’ll just sit down right here” you smile, he doesn’t reply.

As you sit there on the floor he grows more comfortable. The door is open and there is no one who pushes him to speak. You lowered yourself to the ground where he is able to look down on you. “So, Jimin. We both know why I’m here. To be quite honest, these people here don’t really care about you. It sounds harsh but that’s the truth. The only thing they are interested in is rehabilitating you and getting you out of here. They want you to move on and live normally but let’s be real for a second, that’s impossible.” His head snaps upwards to look at you.

“Everyone tells you how great life is and how badly you need to move on. The problem is that after all life ever gave you, it’s hard for you to understand that optimism. Life is shit, isn’t it?” you chuckle and he nods. “I didn’t expect you to say that” his raspy voice fills the room.

You chuckle “What? That life’s shit? Well, it’s the truth.” he nods and suddenly his ears move from being stuck flat on his head to standing upwards, ready to listen to you. “You know, Jimin. I understand you. Life hasn’t been kind to me either. I might’ve not lived through something as terrific as you but it comes close. Do you want to hear it?” he nods but still keeps his head low. You know that sharing hurtful experiences can help you connect to each other. You knew almost everything about him. You know what those horrible people did to him and how he became who he is now but he knows nothing about you. He doesn’t know why you are willing to sit on his floor or why the hell the door was kept open

“I had to kill my father” That catches his attention. His eyebrows furrow as he stares at you.

“Two men broke into our house one night when I was thirteen. I didn’t know what was happening, I mean it was around three am and i was sleeping. My brother was dead when I arrived in the living room, they had almost decapitated him. My parents were restrained and sat up on our couch.”

I have to breathe for a moment before I can continue. Right in that moment he locked his gaze with me for the first time. We share a quick glance.

“My mum was raped before they slit her throat and I couldn't do anything.I had to stab my dad 28 times. The only thing I remember was them telling me that everything’s my fault. I don’t know what I did nor do I know why my parents had to pay for it. But I moved on. I didn’t forget, not that I ever could forget this massacre but, I try to survive. Nothing can ever bring them back and I know that. I will never see them again and it hurts everytime i close my eyes because I see their lives leaving their bodies when I do but I try to move on. I try to live ”

I wipe my tears and look at the floor as all the pictures come back. The blood, the bones being cracked and the lives being taken-”I’m sorry you had to go through that” he whispers and a small sniff leaves your body. “Thank you, Jimin.” you whisper back and for a moment there’s just silence. It’s comforting and scary at the same time. It’s almost as if he accepts you now, as if he knows what you feel.

“Do i have to tell you?” you shake your head with a small smile. You wouldn’t mind but every time you have to talk about it you literally relive what happened. You don’t want him to feel what you do now “No, you don’t have to if you don’t want to” he nods and sighs, a big weight visually leaving his shoulders. “You can sit on the chair, the floor must be cold” you almost laugh. “I’ll gladly. Thank you, Jimin.” You sit down in front of him and he moves back slightly.

“Jimin” you whisper and his head snaps towards you “Yes?” he whispers back. His eyes softly gaze at yours “I need you to know that you’re not alone. What you had to go through is in no way forgettable and I know that you regret many things but you’re not alone. ” he just stares at you until his eyebrows furrow and his chest starts to move faster and faster. You triggered something, something bad.

“You’re lying” he whispers and his nostrils flare and his eyes stare at the floor. “You’re lying like everyone else.” He almost growls at you as you try to deny what he said. “I’m not, Jimin, listen to me!” you plead and you notice the shift. In front of you is no longer the quiet and understanding person he was two minutes ago . He shifted to what those people made him, a broken, hurt and traumatized boy who’s life is a living hell.

Now that they got him out of there he’s held captive in his mind. The horror he had to experience every day is now tormenting him inside his own head and no one seems to understand that. His eyes grow dark and his body builds itself up and he flashes his teeth in a threatening way. He closes himself off. He’s gone, the soft understanding boy you were just talking to was somewhere crying in a corner of his mind scared of getting attached and being thrown away like garbage.

In a matter of seconds his hands find their way around your throat. He tightens his grip and you find it hard to breathe. Your pleads come out strangled as he lets out a low grunt. This situation reminds you of the night you killed your father. The men strangled you as well while you watched your mum being raped, the only difference here is that Jimin isn’t doing it out of pleasure, he’s terrified to the point where he’s alright with taking another person's life.

The two security men find their way into the room as your legs give in and you two fall to the floor, Jimin didn’t let go though. Your last attempt of staying alive needs to work so you clasp his face in between your hands. You stroke his cheek and give him a small smile. “It’s alright” His eyebrow twitches slightly and in a matter of seconds his grip around your throat loosens and your vision finds its way back to you. You cough violently after you push him behind yourself.

“Miss, please move. We need to move this farrell animal, he’s a threat” you shake your head as you move closer to Jimin “He’s not- cough -that’s why I-cough-I’m here. Pl-cough-Please move outside, thank you-cough.” They share a worried look but do as told and move to their spots outside. Your head hangs low as you try to steady your breathing.

Behind you, you can hear silent but repetitive sorry’s.

You turn around slightly, just to look at him. He now understood what he had done. You can’t blame him for what he did, he was terrified as you somehow triggered something in his brain with your reassurance. “Jimin” you breathe out and his rant of sorry’s stop. “Jimin,this isn’t your fault, okay? I’m not mad at you” You turn towards him and take his hand into yours.

“Do you hear me? I’m not mad at you” he doesn’t look at you as you talk to him. The atmosphere in his room is cold and uncomfortable. His demeanor changed, he feels sorry and you know that. He almost killed you and you’re not upset. It’s something that’s hard to understand, why would someone you hurt still like you? Simple, they are either unconditionally in love with you or know how you feel. They understand the things you went through, the pain you feel, they relate.

“How?” He whispers as his emotions get ahead of him. “I almost killed you, look at your throat” he sniffs and you can’t help but touch it. It’s sore and probably bright red but you don’t really care. “It’s fine” you answer him and he shakes his head “How can that be fine? You were nothing but nice to me and I struck you to the floor to strangle you. If that is fine to you, you’re dumb”

You nod your head “Maybe I am”. You stroke the hair out of your face and get up. “I’ll be leaving now-“It was nice meeting you Y/N, I’m sorry that I hurt you and I understand that you won’t come ba-“Oh, I’m coming back” his head snapped up to look at you. “What?” You chuckled slightly “You can’t get rid of me that easily, we are friends now, Jimin.” He just gives you a star struck expression as you’re almost outside of his room. “I’ll bring you some cake next time”

About a week later you again stand in front of the center. You thought a lot about how you could help Jimin and to be honest, you have no idea. The only thing that somehow connects you two is the trauma. There’s nothing that really connects you, you lived a great life until that night, you always had and always will have the privilege of being a human and not a hybrid. Jimin was born on a farm like an animal, raised like one and treated like one.

In your hands you hold the cake you promised him the last time. You open the door just to be greeted with Helen. She smiles at you and welcomes you with a warm handshake “Y/N, how nice to see. Jimin has been asking for you everyday. He told me what he has done and how you treated him. I’m glad that you didn’t run away, he really needs your help” you nod and smile at her “We had a great start actually, I’m positive that I’m able to help him.” she gives you a comforting smile before she answers you “He’s outside, by the pond” you nod and take your leave to the garden.

The garden is blooming beautifully, a lot of flowers and bushes decorate the garden in a welcoming and soft way. Other hybrids roam around the garden as well. Some play together, some stay alone just like Jimin. He’s sitting on a bench in front of the pond while he stares at the water. You clear your throat as you stand right behind him and he’s fast to turn around.

His face shifts to a soft smile as he sees you. “Y/N!” he exclaims happily. He puts his legs down and makes space for you. You thankfully take the spot next to him. The air is thick between you two and you can pinpoint exactly why. He still feels sorry for what he did and you don’t really know how to approach this matter.

“I brought you the cake I promised” you throw into the silence. He doesn’t look, he doesn’t move at all. “I thought you wouldn’t come again” he says sadly. Your head snaps towards his and your eyes lock. “Why would you think that? I told you i would come back” you give back. He shakes his head and finally glances at the cake “I thought you might’ve changed your mind.” you sigh and hit his shoulder lightly. “I would never break my promise, now try the cake” you give him a fork and let him taste it.

“I didn’t bake it though, I’m terrible in the kitchen” you chuckle and he smiles “That’s fine, it’s delicious” he silently eats the cake and thanks you another two times. “How’s your throat?” he asks quietly. You unconsciously touch your throat. “It’s fine, it’s a little bit red” he nods and shoves another fork of cake into his mouth. Just then you notice a red mark on his right hand. They didn’t hit him, did they?

“Jimin, you need to be completely honest with me right now” his eyes go wide as your face grows angry. “Did they hurt you for what you did to me?” he almost chokes on his cake as you ask him that. “Did they hit you?” you ask again and he hides his hand before he tries to explain himself. “It’s not like i didn’t deserve it.” he stammers. “They are not allowed to do that, Jimin. You should’ve told me right away, I will make sure something like that never happens ever again.” he shakes his head and takes your hand into his. “It’s alright, don’t worry about it.” You give him an angry look “It is not alright, no one should treat you like that” he smiles slightly and strokes the back of your hand.

“I’m fine” and for a moment you believe him. You forget the red mark on his hand and the scar across his eye. You forget what happened to you and what happened to him. You forget the handprints around your throat. The trees and flowers disappear as well as the pond which seems to drain into oblivion. Nothing else other than the beautiful boy in front of you seems to exist. The way his dark hair almost hides his beautiful eyes which are trying to reassure you. The way his bruised hand gently strokes yours and the way this feeling makes you want to cry. It makes your walls crumble.

“Y/N?” his voice tugs you out of your thoughts. His hand wipes a tear from your face “Why are you crying?” he asks quietly. You can’t talk, it’s like someone took your ability to speak.

“It’s alright, I sometimes cry as well.” He lets go of your hand and suddenly everything comes back. Everything is there again and it’s hard to comprehend. Why did it feel nice?

“I did horrible things, you know. You shouldn’t look at me like that” your eyebrows furrow. “Like what?” he looks up at the sky “Like you love me, my mum used to look at me like that” he gives back and you can’t move. “It’s a look that says that you would give me the universe and more if you could. It’s a look which says that you would love everything about me but you won’t, you can’t. I did things that not a single living creature should do. If you knew what i did, you wouldn’t speak to me ever again. You would look at me the same way as everyone else ever did! “ he almost shouted.

You are taken aback, what is he talking about. “Well, what did you do?” he whips around and stares at you in disbelief. “Did you just completely ignore what i said?” you shake your head and smile at him “Do you think I’m like everyone else? I stabbed my dad almost thirty times, how bad can it be?” his face grows angry and he pushes the cake to the side. “One time I was in the ring I had to kill my opponent. The bloodier it was the better, so I ripped his windpipe from his throat. Another time I broke someone's neck just to get fed. Do you even know what it feels to get praised for taking someone's life?”

Without thinking you get closer, your noses almost touched as you did. “Yes, I do know what it feels like to get praised for taking someone’s life. They praised me the whole night for killing my father and later made me bury his corpse while my raped mother had to watch all of it. After i complied with them they slit her throat and left me laying in my mother’s blood while i wanted to die. The last thing they said before leaving me was “That’s what good girls do”, so don’t tell me i don’t know what it feels like. I know how people look at someone who had to survive something like this, I know it damn well.”

For a few seconds you two just stare at each other with wide and teary eyes. The mood is tense. The only thing you can hear is Jimin’s heavy breathing and you trying to not breathe at all. A tear leaves his eye and all of a sudden his lips find their way onto yours. You can’t grasp what is happening, your lips move by themselves. Your hand finds its way onto his cheek and he grabs the back of your neck caressingly. Never has a kiss felt like this, like the whole earth could explode and you wouldn’t care as long as you were kissing him.

But the thought of you two getting caught struck your mind and you stopped.

“W-why, did you stop?” his voice was a faint whisper. He knows why but he still feels the need to ask. “It felt good,” he continues. “We can’t be seen, Jimin” his face falls and he shakes his head “I don’t care” he whispers as you get up. “But i do, if they get a whiff of what just happened i won’t be allowed to meet you anymore.” you gather your stuff as he suddenly grabs your hand to stop you “I want you to adopt me” he almost shouts. You halt in your actions while your eyes widen.

“I realised that there is no person other than you who really cares about me. There’s no one who understands what I’ve been through. Not a single person can relate to what my life has been like. When I’m with you it feels like the whole universe disappears and there’s only you, you pull me out of those cruel thoughts, you take the pain away Y/N. Please adopt me” you can’t move. That’s not how you expected this whole thing to go. Of course you like him, there’s a connection and even feelings you can’t name but, it’s wrong. The way he sees it is wrong.

He sees a saviour who might rescue him from the life he used to live. To be honest, you’re ready to be that, his saviour, but is it the right thing to do, or to be? “Why aren’t you saying anything? Am i not good enough? Do you want me to change? I can-”No, Jimin. I-I don’t really know if that is how you really feel-”Of course that is what i really feel like, i need you Y/N” he shouts.

You step back with a small yelp escaping your mouth. His eyes soften “I’m sorry, i didn’t want to yell at you” All of sudden two men rush across the garden just to push you away from him “Stop! You’re hurting her” he shouts as you harshly fall on your butt. This is his mother’s death all over. He wasn’t able to get to her and now he’s being held back while they push you around. They grab Jimin and try to get him going but he’s too focused to get to you “Y/N!” he screams and you are fast to get up “Sir, please let go”you shout, much to your displeasure he just blows you off. They push him to the floor getting him ready to be sedated. Jimin doesn’t comply, the only thing he does is shout your name.

You throw yourself to the floor to look into his eyes. His eyes are wide and his face wet from crying “Please, Y/N don’t leave me. I can’t live without you, god please.” he pleads between broken cries. “Jimin, hey, listen to me. i’m right here! I won’t leave you” he cries and cries as he slowly drifts into a deep slumber “I need you” he whispers before he’s completely knocked out.

You once again look at the man in front of you. Is it wrong to love someone you just met? You are no psychiatrist, you have nothing to lose, do you? The only thing you desire more than helping him out of the dark space he’s in, is hold him in your arms. To wipe his tears and tell him that everything will be fine.

You thought a lot about him and his pleading about adoption. He would fit, no doubt. You two share one soul. The apartment you live in is hybrid friendly and there’s enough space. Yesterday you got a call from the center asking you to come in and meet Jimin again since his condition has worsened. He hasn’t eaten properly for almost a week, he doesn’t speak or move from his bed and refuses to look at anyone other than you.

You once again stand in front of the center unsure why you are here. Are you here to end something that never happened or continue something that has potential? You don’t know. But deep down you already know the answer

Helen waits for you at the front desk. She eagerly drags you along the long way to Jimin’s room. You remember the corridors and the two elevators as if you’ve walked those corridors a million times just to get to him. She doesn’t speak since she told you everything on the phone, she just escorts you to his room.

The door opens with the jingle of the keys and your heart breaks as you look inside. He’s curled up on his bed holding the fork you brought with you last week. He looks at it as if it’s a picture, telling him a story.

“Jimin” you whisper. His head moves slightly, needing to reassure what he was hearing. “Jimin, it’s me” you say once again.

He puts himself up on his feet and looks at you. His face seems thinner and his face is puffy from crying. You don’t know how someone could hurt him, how someone could force him to do things he didn’t want to or how someone could kill the one person who loved him. How someone could take everything he had, he ever was. You can’t understand it. You would give him everything. You would give your life for him if you could.

“Y/N” he breathes out. His eyes close and a small smile forms on his face. “I thought I’ll never see you again,” he says. Your body moves on its own as you walk towards him. You almost throw yourself into his arms. “I thought you left me” he chokes out.

“I’ll stay by your side as long as you need me, I told you that before. Don’t you ever think that I’ll leave you” you whispered into his chest. The comforting smell of his sweater grazes your nose. His tail wrapping around your legs in a comforting manner.

“What makes you think that I’m worth your love?” he whispers back and you can’t help but hold him tighter as your eyebrows furrow. “I’ll love you because you can’t love yourself, that’s fine with me.” Tears form in your eyes as his soften.

He sighs and strokes your back “Then please never leave me” he mumbles and you nod your head. “You won’t ever have to be alone, Park Jimin” he smiles and strokes your back as you look at him. “I’ll never leave you. I thought about it and I think it’s the best to have you by my side, I would like to adopt you” you smile. His breath stops for a moment as you finish your sentence.

His legs give in and you both rush to the floor. The dark strands of hair fall into his face and his sobs fill the room and you hug him tight. “You’ll have a home, a place where no one can hurt you. A place for you and me” he nods and you smile back at him

“I never thought that I'd ever escape this. I thought I’ll have to live like this, locked away like a mad person. Alone with my thoughts and what happened to me. But the second you came into my room I knew. I knew that all of this is going to change. That I’ll escape” you nod at him. “The moment I read about what happened to you, I knew that I would do everything I could to save you. I’ll give you the peace you deserve, I’ll love you until death does us apart, Park Jimin”

a/n: i hope you liked it, stop by at my masterlist for more works of mine.

157 notes · View notes

judylicious · 4 years ago

Text

And When He Smiles I Swear I Can’t Breathe

Alan Rubin x fem!Reader

Word count: 2,211

Fandom: Blues Brothers

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Blues Brothers characters or movies. This refers to Alan Rubin as a character in the movie, not the real Alan (although he obvsly played himself but you know what I mean)

I’d like to add that I made everyone of the band a few years younger (so the age gap between the reader and Alan isn’t that big), so he’s approx. in his early 30s.

Sophia, Lisa and Lex are two OCs created by two lovely people within the fandom.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse

Chapter IX

Alan watched Charlotte taking a bite from her fried eggs. “What?”, she murmured. “Are we gonna pretend nothing happened last night?”, Alan gave her serious look. The girl shrugged her shoulders. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” “Huh, is that supposed to make me laugh?”

Charlotte didn’t look up. “Why were you at the rehearsal room?” “Where else should I have gone?” “Lisa? Sophia? Or here’s a funny idea, could have given me a call.” “Look, I prefer to go into seclusion when something’s wrong. I’m sorry but I don’t wanna bother anyone with my crap.” “And I’d prefer if you’d come to me, you ain’t bothering no one, alright?”, he said in a soft tone and stroke her cheek. “Does he hit your mum and sister, too?” “No.”, she shock her head but saw a questioning look in Alan’s eyes. “My parents had broken up before my mum found out she was pregnant with me. So for my sake they gave their relationship another shot and apparently it worked but for my father I’m still the unwanted child. And I guess by forcing me to do well, in College and life, I won’t’t be such a big disappointment for him.” “Meaning if you moved out your mum and sister wouldn’t be in danger?” “Believe my, I tried getting my own place but…” “You could live with me until you find your own flat.”, Alan looked at her with raised eye brows. “I can’t, I really can’t.” “Why not?” “Cos I don’t wanna drain on your pocket, that’s why.” “I don’t care. I want you out of there as soon as possible.” “I will figure something out, okay? Don’t wanna jump the gun.” “Jumping the gun? What are you waiting for, Charlotte?”, Alan asked concerned, irritated she didn’t wanna move out. “I will come up with something alright?!”, she said bugged. “Just think about my offer, you’re more than welcomed here.”

A few days had passed and Charlotte still hadn’t figured out what to do. She came back from jogging, when she noticed a stranger’s car in their driveway. Her father’s office was being refurbished this week, so he met all his clientele at home, in his home office. She hurried down the hallway to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, not keen on being seen in her current shape, all sweaty and her face red like a tomato. When passing by she took a quick glance into her father’s office though and realised she knew the person a few moments later only, so she went back. “What are you doing here?” “Oh, hi!”, the person greeted her with a big, fake smile. “Are you one of Mr. Ellington’s precious daughters? I didn’t know that!” “No, I’m Mrs. Mop.”, Charlotte replied sarcastically. “You do look like her.” “What’s going on here?”, Frank said in a harsh tone and gave his daughter a push against her shoulder as he entered the room. “Be nice to Ms…? I’m awfully sorry, what was your name again?” “No harm done, Sir. My name’s Brooks. Lari Brooks.” “I apologise for my daughter Ms Brooks and also for this chaos. I should have been prepared more thoroughly for this week of Home Office. I left some of my notes in my car, I’ll be back in a moment… Charlotte, go and get us a coffee, won’t you?” “Frankly I’d like to take shower.” “Yeah, you can do that afterwards.” Charlotte closed her eyes and took a deep breath before facing Lari again. “Oh kiddy, milk and sugar for me please.” Ugh that creepy smile again. “Listen up, bitch!”, Charlotte leaned over the desk. “I don’t know what kind of ratty games you’re playing here, getting in touch with my father but stay the hell away from Alan! You heard me?” Lari started laughing, not the reaction Charlotte was hoping for. “You really think Alan is interested in you? He’s not the man for relationships but you’ll figure that out soon enough. Once he had his fun with you he’s gonna drop you like a bad habit.” Lari looked her up and down. “Tsk, I’m surprised he even thinks he will get it up with you in the first place.” Charlotte clenched her fist. “Not that it’s any of your business but he already did!” “Oh good to know he’s finished with you then.” “He is finished with you, or why do you think he started seeing me?” “See honey, what-“ “I’m not your honey!” Lari sighed. “What you don’t see is, Alan needs a real woman at his side. Not only to satisfy his sexual needs but he certainly doesn’t wanna play babysitter for you. And he doesn’t need no social project either.” Charlotte backed down and slowly removed her hands form the table. “Oh, honey, don’t you think I haven’t noticed your bruises. And don’t you think I don’t know who did that to you.” Charlotte swallowed hard. For God’s sake, where was her father when she needed him. What was taken him so long? “Does your father know you’re dating Alan?” Charlotte clammed up. “Aha, I thought so.”, Lari grinned. “Would be such a shame if he did, eh?” “Why haven’t you made any coffee by now?! Frank bumped back into the office, a stack of files under his arm. “Come on!” dragging her into the kitchen. “I asked you for a simple favour.” “You didn’t ask…” “I swear to God, make that fuckin coffee or I loose my shit.”, he hissed through gritted teeth and Charlotte quietly set up the coffee brewer, while Frank went back to his newest client. While the machine ran, she tried to catch a few scraps of their conversation. What was her game? It was surely no coincidence she wanted to hire her dad. Charlotte overheard that apparently she had some trouble with a former affiliate of hers. What a pretence. And Charlotte started to worry. Knowing about her and Alan, Lari had her by the short and curlies. After serving the coffee, Charlotte quickly got into the shower. As the warm water ran over her body she couldn’t help but bursted out into tears. She knew Lari was right. Alan didn’t want no helpless, little girl at his side, that needed to be rescued from her father. And Charlotte wanted to be that independent and mature woman he was looking for but also felt trapped, like she couldn’t break away from her father. That was also why she didn’t wanna move in with Alan, even it was temporary only. She feared someone like Alan would eventually be sick of dealing with such preschool problems, when he was at a complete different state of life than Charlotte was. And perhaps her intuition on this one wasn’t letting her down.

During the next days, Charlotte and Alan didn’t see much of one another, they didn’t had a fight but both felt some tension between each other. While Alan was trying to give Charlotte some room to decide what she wanted to do in order to sort out her problem at home, Charlotte felt rejected and that Alan didn’t wanna see her.

So when she and her besties, Sophia and Lisa were on their way to another concert of the boys, she had mixed feelings. The three entered the backstage area, where they were happily welcomed by the band. Jake pulled Sophia into his strong arms, giving her passionate kiss, while Lou and Lisa were still a bit shy around other people, so the saxophonist grabbed his girlfriend’s hand and gave her a short peck on her cheek. As Charlotte and Alan met they faced each other awkwardly. “Hi Alan.” “Hi Charlie, you look gorgeous tonight.” “Thanks.”, she responded with a little smile. Everyone who was watching the two instantly felt something was wrong and were kind of embarrassed to be present. The blonde girl turned around to her friends “Think I’ll be heading to our seats already, see you in a bit.”

Lisa and Sophia gave each other a look before hurrying after her friend. “Charlie, wait! What was this all about?”, Sophia grabbed her arm. “Nothing.”, she shrugged her shoulders in response. “Did you break off?” “Were we even a couple?” “Were?”, Lisa asked shocked. “Relax, we didn’t. It’s.. I don’t know… tensed. He hasn’t been calling me for a couple of days.” “Have you called him?” “No… I didn’t wanna bother him.” “Why do you keep saying that?” “Because it’s true. Alan could date everyone. It’s just a matter of time ’til he’s tired of my bs with my dad.” “Why would he? He offered you to move in with him for now.” “Right, so what if that wasn’t a genuine offer? Perhaps he only felt the need to say that.” “Jeez, you still think the worst of everyone!”, Sophia rolled her eyes. “Last thing you told us is that he asked you to think about it. So I guess he’s just waiting for an answer.”, Lisa explained. “Go and talk to him after concert.” “But before that we’re gonna enjoy the music, nothing will cheer you up like their songs, trust me.”; Sophia said with a big smile and grabbed Charlotte’s hand, dragging her to their seats.

Meanwhile Lou got after Alan. “Hey man, are you and Charlotte alright?” “Yeah, yeah, we’re fine.” “C’mon Alan, talk to me!” The trumpet player sighed. “I don’t even know what it is! I told her she could live with me until she found a flat for herself cos I want her away from her manic father and gave her some time to think about it and since then: nothing. I don’t know what else to do if she keeps refusing my help! Maybe it’s all too much for me.” “What are you saying? I thought you liked her, for real!” “Yes, I do.” “Sometimes a relationship needs some work, especially at the beginning.”, Lou advised. “See? This is why I never got involved in anything serious before. It just complicates things.” “Even if things are difficult at the moment, I’ve never seen you any happier than being with Charlotte. So perhaps it’s time you step out of your comfort zone if you wanna make things work with her.” They got interrupted by Elwood, yelling across backstage. “2 minutes guys!” “Lou gave his friends a warm smile and a pat on the shoulder “Think about it.”

The concert was extraordinary. They were rocking the crowd and the atmosphere was purely captivating. After the band finished playing “Hey Bartender” Jake got on the mic again. “This next song, we haven’t played in front of anyone yet, so feel honoured to be the first.” He put in one of his little giggles there. “It’s called ‘Gimme Some Lovin’ by the Spencer Davis Group. And me, Blue Lou and Mr. Fabulous here, would like to dedicate this song to three incredible, young ladies in our lives, who also happen to be in the audience tonight. Sophia, Lisa and Charlotte. Sophia? I love you babe!”, he said and pointed to his girl in the audience causing Sophia to scream, who soon got drown out by the band starting to play. Charlotte was excited to hear the boy’s version of that song, thinking back when Alan told her, they worked out a nice part for the horns and they clearly didn’t disappoint.

After like three or four encores, the girls were all hyped up and on their way backstage. “Relax, just tell him how much you liked the song and that you wanna talk with him in private. It’s your Alan after all.”, Lisa tried to support Charlotte.

When they walked up the little stairs their glances first hit Elwood. He was caught up in a passionate kiss with someone in his arms, his hands all over that someone. As soon as he realised all eyes were on him, he cleared his throat. “Everyone this is Lex by the way.”, he said and a big grin formed on his lips. “We met a few nights ago. Please be nice to them.” Lex seemed a big nervous as they were playing with their dark, slightly wavy hair but all that seemed to vanish when Elwood pulled Lex back into his arms and planted a kiss on their cheek. The two seemed like a great match. Lex was really casual looking, they were wearing a jeans jacket and a graphic tee combined with a pair of combat boots. They clearly seemed to be on the same level, funny and not taking things too serious. Most of the guys had a stupid grin on their face except for Jake of course, who already knew about his brothers new partner in crime but everyone was just happy for Elwood, he deserved to be with someone after everything he went through.

That amusement didn’t stay for long though as Charlotte noticed Alan. He was sitting in a corner on one of the amplifiers, focused on cleaning his mouthpiece, Lari standing next to him. She was straddling his shoulder and trying to get his attention. From the distance it was hard to tell if he was wrapped up in a chat with her but frankly, Charlotte didn’t even wanted to know.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

#Blues Brothers #Blues Brothers fandom #Alan Rubin x Reader #Alan Rubin x fem!Reader #Alan Rubin #blues brothers fanfiction #Elwood Blues #Jake Blues #Blue Lou Marini

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thisbeatchachinglikemoney · 4 years ago

Text

☆viii - perfect imperfections☾

Chapter 8 of Me From The Moon, You From The Stars

Summary: Taehyung and Jungkook tell everyone and plan a date

Warnings: Abuse

Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9

AN: Let me know what you think and if you want to be added on to the tag list.

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"All of me loves all of you, all your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections."

JUNGKOOK watched Taehyung with a large smile spread across his face. His mate was tugging him excitedly towards their usual table where most of their friends were sat, minus Namjoon. He noticed how Yoongi and Hoseok were looking at the pair of them in confusion. Last they had heard, him and Tae were not talking to each other, and now they were smiling and holding hands with each other. He was excited to tell them. It would cease the endless teasing.

He remembered when Yoongi and Hoseok had found their mate. It was quite a funny story really. Jimin had been at a club when Yoongi appeared. He had had an argument with his girlfriend at the time – they knew they weren't each other's mates, but were both in need of a relationship so they got together. Both Jimin and Yoongi started talking and before they knew it, they kissed each other and had sex together. Then Jimin had a date with Hoseok the day after, where they also kissed, and then Jimin loses his ability to smell other alphas and omegas.

Hoseok had always told Jungkook that he was the first one Jimin approached, but Yoongi liked to say that he was the first. Jimin had showed up at their house and had seen either one of them and found out that the same thing had happened. Then the other showed up and said the same thing, and the three of them have been going out ever since.

Jungkook liked their story, but he thought his and Taehyung's was better. Maybe he was biased, but who cares? There is way more romance with theirs.

"Jiminie!" Taehyung yelled excitedly, hugging his friend from behind, his arms around his shoulders. Jungkook smiled at him fondly as he moved to stand in front of Yoongi and Hoseok.

"What's going on with you and Taehyung?" Yoongi asked, staring as Taehyung let go of Jimin and made his way to Jungkook, tucking himself under his arm.

"You can call me Tae, Yoongi hyung." Taehyung said, making Jungkook press a kiss to the top of his head.

"Well done, baby, I'm so proud of you." He said. Taehyung hadn't liked being called Tae by anyone he didn't really know. He had said it made him feel weak and pathetic, but Jungkook had told him that it didn't. Yes, it made him sound cute, but it was also a powerful name, especially because it belonged to someone so beautiful. So him letting Yoongi call him Tae was a step in the right direction for him to get over his rape, which Jungkook was so proud of. Tae looked up at him and smiled before leaning the side of his head on his chest.

"Yeah, what's going on, Kook?" Jin asked with a knowing smile on his face.

"So, me and TaeTae, or is it TaeTae and I?" Jungkook frowned. He had never been that good at grammar. "Oh well, we are mates." He said. Hoseok choked on the noodles he was devouring, causing Jimin to panic while Yoongi whacked his back.

"Did you say mates? You're too young, Kook. Still a little boy." Hoseok said, his face still red and straining although he had managed to get the noodles out of his windpipe.

"Hoseok hyung, I'm nineteen. Taehyung's younger, he's still eighteen!" Jungkook protested. "Anyway, at least it happened in a more romantic way than you, Jimin and Yoongi."

Yoongi growled. "Watch it, you brat."

"And don't forget your honorifics!" Jimin added, noodles dangling from his mouth. Yoongi chuckled and kissed him, biting the excess noodles and eating them.

"Hyung! Ew!" Jungkook turned towards Taehyung. "Tae baby, can you get rid of that awful image please?" He asked, looking at his beautiful mate. Taehyung flushed pink and leaned up on his tiptoes to peck Jungkook's lips. Jungkook wasn't too happy with that. "Baby," He whined, making Taehyung giggle and kiss him properly.

"Better?" He asked as he pulled away from the kiss, his lips red and shiny, looking absolutely delectable. Jungkook nodded and licked his lips as Jin cleared his throat to get their attention.

"Are you going to sit down and join us?" Jin asked, raising his eyebrow.

"No, actually, we've finished our classes and so I'm taking my baby out on a date." Jungkook said, squeezing Taehyung's waist. It was then he noticed the wince Taehyung did. He frowned in concern, but decided he would ask Taehyung about it after their date. He might have just fallen, but Jungkook wanted to be sure.

"Okay, have fun. Don't be back too late." Jin said, making Jungkook roll his eyes. Jin was an overprotective older brother, but Jungkook knew it was for the best.

"I won't hyung." Jungkook said with a playful whine before leading Taehyung to his car.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

TAEHYUNG marvelled at Jungkook's car. Sure, it was like ten years old and a bit battered and scratched, but it was a Mercedes! That was a classy car! He looked around on the inside as Jungkook plugged his phone in to connect it to the radio so they could listen to some music.

"What do you want to listen to, Tae baby?" Jungkook asked, scrolling through his music in his phone. "I have a bit of everything, as well as Spotify, so just tell me a song and I'll play it for you."

"Can we listen to some John Legend please?" Taehyung requested. Jungkook nodded and hit shuffle on the John Legend playlist on Spotify. The first song that came on was 'All of Me'. This was one of Taehyung's favourite songs – it made him feel all warm inside, as if John was actually singing it to him and had written it for him. It made him feel loved, considering everything that had happened to him. He began to softly sing along as Jungkook pulled out of the school's parking lot. Taehyung caught Jungkook's smile out of the corner of his eye. "What?" He asked, curious as to why his mate was smiling so widely.

"Your voice is beautiful." He complimented, making Taehyung blush. "Like you."

"Kookie." Taehyung buried his head in his hands. "Don't, you're making me blush." Jungkook smiled and reached over, taking hold of his hand.

"So, let's stop by your house first and then we'll stop at mine and then we'll go somewhere to eat. Does that sound good?" Jungkook suggested. Taehyung froze. He didn't want Jungkook to see the awfulness that was his family. Hopefully both his parents were out and so wouldn't see them.

"O-Okay." Taehyung nodded. "But can we be quick? I'm hungry." As he spoke, his stomach growled loudly, making Jungkook chuckle and rub his tummy playfully.

"Okay, calm down. We won't take too long, little tummy." He smiled at Taehyung, who blushed even more if that was even possible.

Taehyung typed his address into the GPS and they drove to his house. Taehyung could feel the anxiety building. He couldn't let Jungkook see what his parents did to him. He couldn't make himself a burden to him. He didn't want him to know that his father would hit him every night because he didn't manifest as an alpha, or that his mother would constantly hurl insults at him.

They pulled up to his house and parked in the driveway behind the red Hyundai that belonged to his mother. He gulped. "Jungkook, I don't think I need anything." Taehyung said before they got out the car. He knew there was fear and worry written over his face.

"What, baby? What's wrong?" Jungkook asked. He knew something was up. Taehyung sighed and looked at the house where the front door was opening, and his mother was storming out, dressed in one of her business dresses and a pair of slippers. She had most likely just come home. There was no use leaving now. She had seen him.

"Never mind. I'll be quick. I'll grab some stuff and then get changed at your house." Taehyung said, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. "You can stay here, I'll just be in and out."

"What if I want to meet your mum, baby?" Jungkook asked.

Taehyung shook his head. "You already have. She knows who you are." He said, opening the door and sliding out. "I'll be back in a second." He shut the door and reluctantly approached his mother, who was ready to start hurling insults and abuse at him.

"And what the fuck do you think you're doing?" His mother yelled at him. His parents were not omegas. His mum was a beta, and his dad an alpha. No omegas in sight in this family. Until him. "I didn't think I would see the disappointment until later. Why aren't you at school? Did you get expelled for fucking some alpha teacher to fill your needy omega desires? You are pathetic!" Taehyung ignored her and continued walking towards his room. "And so he ignores me! You are ungrateful and don't deserve to be here on this planet alive!"

Taehyung shut his door, and wiped his eyes, brushing the tears away. He had to be quick so Jungkook didn't suspect anything. He walked towards his closet and picked out a few outfits because he wanted to look nice for their lunch date but then wanted to change into something more comfy when they went back to Jungkook's house. He grabbed his oversized pale blue hoodie with a pair of shorts for his comfy outfit and some light blue ripped jeans with a white tshirt and a black denim jacket with sheep fur collar. He decided he would get changed at Jungkook's house rather than here. He didn't want to spend any more time in here than he had to.

He packed them into a bag and waited by his door, trying to hear whether or not his mother was waiting for him. He couldn't hear anything so he flung open the door and ran down the stairs and pushed open the front door, going back to a normal speed as he approached the car.

"Taehyung!" His mother shouted after him. "Pathetic slut, where the fuck are you going now?" She began to quickly walk towards him.

He got in the car and shut the door. "Let's go." He said with a smile on his face.

"Are you okay?" Jungkook asked, looking at him carefully. Taehyung nodded and took hold of Jungkook's hand, kissing the back of it.

"I'm perfect." Taehyung replied.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

JUNGKOOK could tell something was up with Taehyung. He heard his mother shouting at him, but he wasn't sure what she was saying. He had a feeling that Taehyung wincing earlier was related to this. But he didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, that was the last thing he wanted to do. He was his baby, and he needed to protect him with everything he had.

He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel as they drove along the main road. Taehyung was fiddling with his fingers in his lap, his head swaying slowly with the beat of the music. His curls were kissing the tips of his ears his fringe flopping into his eyes slightly. Jungkook's eyes followed the shape of his face, the careful slope of his nose and the smooth cheekbones, down to the slight pout of his lips and his chin. He was beautiful.

"I can feel you staring." Taehyung said, his voice low. He glanced at Jungkook sideways, a slight smile playing on his lips.

"I can't help it. Your face is too pretty for me not to stare at." Jungkook smirked, as Taehyung blushed and giggled slightly.

"If you keep staring at me and not the road, you won't be able to stare at my pretty face for much longer." Taehyung pointed out. Jungkook pouted slightly, but Tae did have a point. "Are we almost at your house?" He asked, looking out the window. "You don't live with your parents anymore?" He asked as they drove past his old house.

"Oh, um, no." Jungkook felt a pang of sadness in his heart. "They passed away in a car accident a few years ago. I live with Jin, Yoongi and Hoseok hyungs."

"Kookie, I'm so sorry." Taehyung reached over and placed a hand on top of his hand. "They loved you so much. I had no idea. I'm sorry."

Jungkook knew that the second apology was definitely about them not talking for a few years. "Taehyungie, baby, you don't need to apologise anymore for what happened between us." He said, kissing the back of his hand. "It's behind us now. We are each other's present and future. That's all that matters. We can't dwell on the past. Besides, I have forgiven you." He turned the steering wheel to pull into the driveway of his house. "We're here. You coming in?"

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

TAEHYUNG felt awful. Jungkook didn't deserve to have gone through what he had gone through with his parents dying. It was like he was being punished, even though he wasn't in the wrong. His parents were so nice and loved Jungkook with all their heart. The way they died was awful.

Jungkook lead him to a decently sized apartment. "It's only got three bedrooms, but we survive." He said. "I mean, the only people that stay are Jimin and Namjoon, and now hopefully you, but they share with their mates, so we don't really need anymore." Taehyung nodded as he glanced around.

The walls were covered in framed photos of pets, family and friends. There were a few of Jimin, Yoongi and Hoseok, and Namjoon and Jin, as well. It was actually quite tidy, which surprised Taehyung. Normally, teenage boys were messy, but everything seemed to be in order. Definitely due to Seokjin, he thought to himself.

His duffel bag brushed against a bruised cut on his shoulder, making him gasp in pain. Jungkook looked over at him concerned. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, I must have hit my shoulder on the doorframe when I left my house earlier." He said, not wanting Jungkook to know the real reason. It had been a doorframe, but only because his father had pushed him against it. Jungkook narrowed his eyes at him, making Taehyung gulp. He didn't fully believe him.

"Let me take your bag, baby." Jungkook said, taking the bag from him. The strap brushed against it again, making him wince. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked. "Baby, you can tell me. I'll protect you, and keep you safe." He said, leading him to his room.

As Jungkook pushed open the door, Taehyung knew that Jin was the one who was tidy. There were clothes strewn on the floor, with used plates and glasses stacked up precariously on the dresser like a dangerous game of Jenga. There was a gaming computer and a desk tucked away in the corner and a large dresser in the middle of the wall opposite the bed. The bed was a large double with simple black and grey sheets.

"Sorry, it's a bit messy." Jungkook flushed a slight red, making Taehyung smile.

"It's okay." Taehyung said with a small smile. Jungkook dropped the bags in the corner before sitting on the bed and pulling Taehyung onto his lap.

"I know you're not telling me something, baby." Jungkook said. "Talk to me please." He begged. Taehyung sighed. He knew he had to tell Jungkook. Maybe he could get him out of there.

"I think it's easier if I just show you." Taehyung said. He took a deep breath before tugging off his shirt, allowing his cuts and bruises and scars to be visible.

Jungkook gasped before running his fingers lightly over the imperfections on his skin. "Baby... What happened to you?"

"I became an Omega." Taehyung said bitterly. "You know, it's funny how you think your parents will love you unconditionally, no matter what, but then they stop over something that's not even in your control."

"Your parents did this to you?!" Jungkook sounded angry. His scent also got stronger, indicating his anger. "That's it. You're not going back there. They're hurting you! Does anyone else know?"

Taehyung shook his head. "You're the first person." He revealed. Jungkook sighed and pulled him closer. Taehyung could feel his heartbeat against his back.

"Thank you for telling me." He said softly. "You know something, baby, you are so beautiful." Taehyung felt warm inside. "All of these are your battle scars, and they make you so much stronger. My brave baby." Jungkook kissed just behind his ear.

"I'll need to get my stuff from the house." Taehyung said, standing up and looking at his boyfriend. He had his arms crossed over his bare chest and stomach to hide them from his view. "Can we still go on our date, though?"

"Of course, we can, baby. And then you can get your stuff tomorrow after school." Jungkook said. He frowned slightly when he saw Taehyung's arms crossed over his body. He took hold of his wrists and pulled them apart, so he was exposed. "Baby, you are so perfect." He said.

Taehyung shook his head. "No, I'm not. I'm covered in scars and bruises. And that's just what you can see. I'm so messed up. How can you even stand to be around me?"

Jungkook stood up and pulled him close. "Because you are my soulmate, my best friend, my one true love. You are beautiful, smart, kind and perfect in my eyes. And I want to help you see that." He said, kissing the top of his head. Taehyung sniffled, resting his forehead against Jungkook's chest. "What did your mother say to you?"

Taehyung took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. Why was he crying so much? "She called me a disappointment." He said. "And then accused me of fucking one of the teachers to fuel my needy omega desires."

Jungkook scoffed. "I'm going to kill her." His scent spiked again, making Taehyung ball up his shirt in his hands.

"No, you can't!" He cried. "Please don't. Just let me get my stuff tomorrow and we never have to see her ever again. I can stay here, right?"

Jungkook was silent for a bit. "Well, I don't know, we might not have enough space..." He said. Taehyung blinked at him. Had he said something wrong? Was it because of his confession to Jungkook? "Baby, I'm joking. Of course, you're staying here. I wouldn't want you anywhere else."

"Thank you." Taehyung nuzzled his head into Jungkook's neck. Jungkook said nothing; he just stroked Taehyung's back and kissed the side of his head. His dark chocolate and cinnamon scent filled his nose, calming his nerves and allowing his heart to stop pounding in his chest.

"You smell so good." Jungkook whispered into his hair. "Like cherries." Taehyung let out a short huff of laughter as he pulled away. "Your lips look like cherries as well, red and plump and ready for me to devour." Jungkook leaned down and kissed Taehyung. It was a playful kiss, but Taehyung's heart still leapt in his chest and his stomach filled with butterflies as it somersaulted inside him. Jungkook tasted like a dark chocolate cinnamon cake, sweet with a hint of darkness. He nipped at Taehyung's lips as he pulled away, his teeth gently pulling at the red flesh.

Taehyung pouted playfully. "You might have just removed all of my lip gloss." He stuck out his bottom lip. "I didn't bring any with me."

"You don't need it baby." Jungkook said, swaying them from side to side. His stomach growled, making Taehyung jump slightly before giggling at how he had been taken aback.

"Hungry?" Taehyung asked. Jungkook nodded. "Then let me go change." He lightly hit Jungkook's chest, making the older mock a glare as he released the smaller omega.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

JUNGKOOK watched his mate with a small smile playing on his lips. How could someone look so cute yet so achingly hot at the same time? His Tae baby was perfect. He watched as the younger boy bent to open his duffel bag and pull out his clothes. The scars on his back stretched and puckered as his muscles flexed and relaxed.

It annoyed him at how parents could treat their own child like that. His parents were the type of people who would have loved him no matter what – even if one day he decided to get surgery to give himself cat ears or something extreme like that. They would never think of laying a hand on him because of how he presented.

But Taehyung's parents were not. The scars on his back varied from white and red showing how recent they were. Jungkook was angry with himself. How long had this been going on? If he hadn't been so stubborn and tried to get through to Taehyung and reassure him that he wouldn't leave earlier, then maybe he would have been able to get him out of that horrible environment before it got too much for him to handle.

Taehyung threw his clothes onto Jungkook's bed. "Hey, don't mess up my room!" Jungkook whined, making Taehyung wrinkle his nose as he smiled.

"I think it's already messy, Kookie." He observed, pointing at some of stacked plates and cups. "Does Jin hyung not come in here at all?"

"Not really, the sight repulses him." Jungkook laughed, making Taehyung huff and roll his eyes as he pulled on his white tshirt.

"I'm not surprised." Taehyung said unfolding his jeans and shaking them out. "Now close your eyes. I need to change my jeans." Jungkook frowned. He wanted to see his baby's body and worship it, from his head down to his toes. "Kookie, please, close your eyes. I'm not that comfortable with you yet to allow you to see me in my underwear." Jungkook obliged, closing his eyes. He could hear fabric rustling and a small thud.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his eyes still closed.

"Yeah, I'm just clumsy. You can open your eyes now." Taehyung said. Jungkook's eyes fluttered open and he took in the sight in front of him. Taehyung's jeans clung to his legs like a second skin, making Jungkook's mouth drop open.

"Ok, wow." He said. "Wow."

"That's all you can say, Kookie? Wow?" Taehyung teased, making Jungkook growl playfully and reach up to tickle his waist. Taehyung giggled.

"When there is literally a Greek god in front of me, yes, wow is the only thing I can say." Jungkook stood up and looked Taehyung in the eye.

"I'm not a Greek god." Taehyung said. "You are though." He reached up and traced Jungkook's features with his finger.

"If you're not a Greek god then I'm an ant." Jungkook said. "Baby you are so beautiful. I wish you could see that." He hated that his baby didn't love himself.

"I'm working on it. I promise, Kookie." Taehyung said softly. "Can we go eat now? I'm starving."

"Of course baby. Let me just change my top." Jungkook pulled off his black hoodie and walked over to his wardrobe to find something else to put on. When he turned around with a black v-neck tshirt in his hands, he saw Taehyung staring at him, some drool falling from his mouth. "Baby, you're drooling." He said. "Like something you see?"

"You have abs." Taehyung observed. "Like actual abs. Like an actual six pack." Jungkook chuckled.

"You are too cute, little Tae baby." He said, walking over and dropping a kiss to his lips. "Now, let's go eat at the mall. Ramen and kimchi?"

"Yes please." Taehyung nodded, taking hold of Jungkook's hand. Jungkook smiled and kissed his curls. He picked up their jackets and they left the house.

#taekook #taekook smut #taekook fluff #taekook angst #yoonminhope #namjin #omega!taehyung #omega!namjoon #omega!jimin #alpha!jungkook #alpha!seokjin #alpha!yoongi #alpha!hoseok #me from the moon you from the stars #perfect imperfections

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hillnerd · 4 years ago

Text

Waking Up - Chapter 4

Rating M A03 ff.net [ Previous Chapter] [start at the beginning] Giant thank you to @abradystrix and @divagonzo for betaing and being so supportive and wonderful.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: cursing, depresssed/anxious thinking, talk about eating & weight gain/loss, PTSD, brief mentions of substance abuse

Previously, on 'Waking Up'

Hermione struggles on her own with plans to get her parents back, eating, and nightmares

She and Harry have a tiff over her putting silencing spells on herself (to keep anyone from hearing nightmares)

Harry Ron and Ginny play quidditch- and afterwards Ron and Hermione have a all out fight about her lack of self care and his doting

Harry has a panic attack from a loud noise Ron witnesses (Hermione sees from hiding)

Hermione and Ron make up with some grinding behind the shed

George comes back (had previously been drunk and arrested- but only Ron and Arthur know about this)

The trio get formal invitations to the Aurors and Order of Merlin

Ron and Hermione have a convo where she says how dumb she thinks it is for Harry to become an Auror

=======================================================

CHAPTER 4- THE VILLAGE

His stomach swooped like he’d missed a step. The blaring panic, the contraction of his muscles as he wildly tried to keep from falling, the disequilibrium... It was all there, only there was no missed step: just him following Hermione into the house for lunch.

He slumped into a chair and stared around him.

George mostly kept his head down, unable to look anyone in the eye and forcing his gaze up only when he had trouble focusing on a question. Harry was still pale and making little jerky movements when there was a noise. Ginny was putting on a smile and pretending everything was alright, but he saw her mouth twitching and faltering every time she thought no one was looking. Mum was trying to keep the conversation going with George and spectacularly failing. With every failed conversation she looked a touch more deflated, a touch more wane, a touch more close to saying ‘I need to take a nap.’ Hermione was barely eating her food again, staring at Harry with concern. And Ron couldn’t find it in himself to do anything to help anyone.

He didn’t have words anymore. He’d used them all up over the last twelve hours. He’d gone to the Ministry to get George, he’d talked to the Minister about his future, he’d talked to his Dad about his past, he’d gone to the hotel to deal with George’s mess, he’d played Quidditch, he’d fought with Hermione, he’d tried to be there through Harry’s panic terror, then he and Hermione had gotten off behind the shed in the most spectacular way, but George was back, and now Hermione hated the idea of Aurors and would think he was an idiot for taking up with them and... And he couldn’t take any more.

He knew it was ridiculous. It was nothing! He’d basically done nothing all day, but somehow Ron felt close to passing out.

“Eat up,” Ginny prodded him, giving his plate a quizzical look. Oh right…

Ron took a bite of sandwich and muscled it down his throat. He mournfully gazed at the sandwich. It had looked so appetizing before his talk with Hermione. He was relieved she had no interest in being an Auror, but he hadn’t predicted everything else.

He’d thought she’d be proud of the idea. It wasn’t an accomplishment that Ron had been asked to be an Auror, since everyone and their owl seemed to be getting asked, but wasn’t joining the right thing to do? Wasn’t it a career choice she should be proud of him for?

Apparently not.

She’d snorted and rolled her eyes at Harry joining. Harry! The Boy-Who-Defeated Voldemort! If she thought Harry couldn’t handle it, he couldn’t imagine her thinking any better of him. In fact, he knew she wouldn’t like it.

He started to see why Hermione couldn’t eat. Who could? Everything was so horrid it was through pure force of will that he was able to eat his sawdust sandwich and swallow each bite. His body felt jittery and weak, and every time he reached for his glass of water, he was less and less sure he’d be able to hold it without it slipping from his grasp.

“I’m going to go shower,” Ron mumbled to no one in particular, pushing himself away from the table, surprised at how together he was able to sound.

“Don’t you want to stay and celebrate the sandwiches you made?” George asked. He had a panicked look in his eye that plainly said ‘don’t leave me here alone with them!’ Ron wavered in place. Maybe he could find it in himself if—

“He’s ripe! Let him shower,” said Ginny. “Why don’t we put on the wireless and listen to the game? Kestrels and Harpies are the first pair doing a post war charity match. It’s set to start in a bit.”

Some of the tension in George ebbed, and Ron vowed to give his little sister a giant hug when he wasn’t feeling close to unconsciousness. He discreetly picked his letters up from the table and without another word he dragged himself up the stairs, one plodding foot at a time. He nearly caught his foot on the final stair, but finally made it safely to the bathroom. He placed his Ministry letters next to the sink and as the shower water heated he dared to look at himself in the mirror. He was pale with great purple bags under his eyes, but other than that looked better than he had when on the run with Horcruxes. Good. He might not be able to feel good, but he could look the part.

He turned the spigot to the shower and as hot water hit him in the chest he let out a sigh. The shower was the only place that really felt safe from everyone. Keeping watch late at night always had the chance of someone coming upon him, but in the shower with the too hot water pounding on him, he could rely on at least a moment of being completely alone. Safe and alone. Never clean though. No matter how the water scalded him, or how hard he scrubbed his skin raw, he never quite felt clean anymore.

He bent at the knees and stooped, chin tucked to his chest, to properly wet his hair. Given how tall all the Weasleys were, he wondered at how they’d never gotten around to installing a higher shower head. After only a few minutes of scrubbing he was too exhausted to stand, much less stoop so low.

Not ready to leave his steamy sanctuary, he put in the plug, and sat in the tub as it filled with water.

He hadn’t expected to see George there today. Maybe a few days out… The moment he’d seen him crossing the lawn he’d hoped George would lose his nerve and go away again. He knew it was awful to wish it. He couldn’t feel any relief at George’s return. His brother looked like a dead man walking, and still vaguely smelled of booze, whether it was sweated out from his binge the night before or from a fresh bout of drinking, Ron wasn’t sure, despite George’s reassurances.

He sat in the tub, letting the warmth lull him into a dozy calm state he hadn’t felt in ages. It didn’t matter that the water barely made it a few inches above his navel and his legs were bent at a funny angle to keep as much of him underwater as possible. He finally turned off the faucet and propped his head against the still cool tile, letting sleep cloud his mind.

“Got you to scream good and loud for me, didn’t I?” came a voice. He could feel the hot breath in his ear, the weight on top of him.

“Ron?”

He kicked out but was paralyzed and unable to move. He shook, fear clenching at him, invading his pores.

“Ron, you drowning in there?”

Ron startled and began to sit up, hand slipping as he tried to gain purchase against white porcelain. His whole body shook. His arm was curled under him and throbbed. The comforting warmth of the tub water had turned cold, but he couldn’t help but feel that his shaking was due to the half-formed memories bubbling to the surface as he slept.

“Ron!” his sister called, more insistent than before.

“I’ll be a minute, Ginny!” he hoarsely called back, sitting up straighter and blinking his eyes, willing wakefulness back into them.

“You’ve been there well over an hour already.”

He dazedly looked about for his wand to reheat his water, not ready to face anyone. What was the spell for heating up water again? The only one that came to mind boiled water.

He should know this! He had to use it in the shower when they were on the Horcrux Hunt every time. His mind remained blank.

With a resigned sigh he shakily removed the stopper. No more warm bath for him. Maybe he would go upstairs and nap. He hugged his long legs close to his chest and flexed his numb left hand. His fingers only partially complied.

“Stupid bloody arm.”

He shook it and hit the side of his fist against the tiled wall a few times. The fingers stuttered and twitched but finally started to move. He let out a pained hiss.

“Ron?”

“What!” He bit out.

“It’s been over an hour!” Ginny insistently cried out.

“If you need the bathroom so bad, use it!” he yelled back, fumbling for his wand on the ground before opening the lock with a twist of his wand. “It’s unlocked. Have at it!”

He jerked the curtain more tightly closed and roughly scrubbed his face, shivering at the slight breeze the opening door caused.

She shut the door and he heard the telltale sniffing of Ginny trying to keep herself from crying.

“Alright?” he asked.

“Oh yeah, really swell,” she shot back with a wavering voice. She wasn’t all out crying, but she was close enough.

The curtain almost imperceptibly swayed, and he could tell she’d sat herself on the floor next to the tub.

“It’s been really... really great down there,” she said, sniffing even harder.

Ron leaned his head back against the tile wall. So much for naps.

“Give me a few minutes and I can meet you in my room.”

“Yeah?” Her voice sounded small and young; that, along with the brittle hope he heard in her voice, made his resentment evaporate.

“‘Course.”

“I’ll see you there,” she murmured, quickly leaving the bathroom.

He wanted to sit in the uncomfortably cold cast iron tub well after the last of the water had circled the drain. No matter how jittery his guts were feeling or how his eyes were burning with fatigue, he knew he couldn’t.

He hadn’t heard her sound that vulnerable in so long, it was almost a relief. After Riddle’s diary it took her years to find her footing, but when she finally did there were a whole lot of walls up. She’d always been chatty and excitable, but now there was a forced enthusiasm she’d wheel out that never felt fully authentic to Ron. She’d always had a wicked sense of humor, but now it was more barbed and defensive. She’d always been a tough little thing, but now she exaggerated it and laid on the sass and swagger thick

He hoped there’d be a day he didn’t notice the toll Voldemort took on his family, but that was unimaginable at this point.

He Accio ’ d some clean clothes from his room and changed. He glanced at the mirror and saw an imprint of the tiles on his cheek.

“Nothing for that…” he mumbled to himself, giving a yawn before going up the stairs to his room, Ministry letters clutched once again in his hand. He had never particularly minded how many flights it was up to his room — it was one of the only reasons he was afforded any privacy in the overcrowded house— but lately he’d begun to hate how many flights of stairs he had to ascend. When he was bone weary, and not fully trusting himself to apparate safely, it was a real kick in the bollocks. He gave a knock on the door before going in.

Ginny sat on his bed, her face blotchy and red.

He sat beside her and waited for her to say something. When she stayed silent he put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a one armed hug.

“It’s just...” she said with a deep inhale, before a sound burst out of her, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. She stifled it behind a hand. He gripped his shaking sister tighter.

“You saw George! And Mum is… I’ve never seen her so tired, so bloody old .” Her voice shook and her eyes filled with tears. “And Hermione is still acting off and Harry… I don’t know what happened, but he’s been shaking ever since Quidditch and his hugs have been too tight, and I don’t… I don’t know!”

Ron quietly nodded, as his sister turned her head into his shoulder and hot tears soaked through his shirt.

As children she used to cry all the time, half of the time just to get her way. After her horrifying first year there had been plenty of nights he’d found her crying. Those nights he’d stay with her until morning. Then the crying stopped. Her eyes might flood with angry or worried tears, but she didn’t cry all-out in front of him after that. Ron caught her sniffing and trying to stifle her tears after Harry dumped her late one night. She never asked him to help her or to stay, but he stayed with her until morning that time too.

Minutes passed and finally her silent crying slowed.

“Sorry,” she muttered into his shoulder.

“S’nothing,” he said, gently patting her back in small circles, the same way their Mum did.

“I’m just glad you’re doing alright. At least someone in the family hasn’t gone completely mental on me.”

Ron breath stilled a bit as he continued to consolingly pat her. He wouldn’t think of the dream he’d had in the bath.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he choked out. He swallowed and hoped his voice would come out steady. “Tonight we’ll go out and have some fun, yeah? I bet we can get some smiles on their faces, between the two of us.”

She gave a watery laugh, pulled away from him, and wiped at her eyes with the palms of her hands.

“Yeah, between the two of us,” she said with a smile. It faltered and she looked at her hands. “But we won’t be able to team up for much longer, will we?”

“Wha’dyou mean?”

She bit her lip. “You’re going to join the Aurors with Harry, aren’t you?”

Ron let out his breath between his teeth. “Yeah. Yeah I am,” he said, bracing himself for a lecture. Instead he felt his breath squeezed out of him by a fierce hug.

“I knew you would!” She pulled back, smiling at him.

“Yeah, well, someone has to make sure Harry doesn’t get blown up or something.”

“Exactly! If anyone can keep him from that, it’s you.” She rubbed at her eyes again.

He didn’t know whether to be flattered or offended by her response. He wanted someone to be happy for him, of course, but the way she was looking at him she seemed more happy he’d be there to keep Harry safe.

“Don’t tell Hermione I’m becoming one.” Ginny gave him a questioning look, prompting him to explain. “She’s not too keen on the idea and I want to figure out a way to tell her myself.”

“How do you know she’s against it?”

“I felt her thoughts out for it, didn’t I? She made a fuss over Harry becoming one, saying he was ‘throwing his life away,’ how it was a ‘ridiculous choice.’”

“Well,” she said rather slowly. “I can’t say I entirely blame her…”

“How’s that?” Offense rose inside him. Did everyone have a meeting to agree they thought he was weak?

“Oh come off it. Auror isn’t exactly the safest of jobs, is it? And with the war we just went through and Fr—” Her voice stopped short. “With everyone we lost, it won’t be easy for any of us knowing you’re out there fighting Death Eaters again. Only this time we can’t help you.”

“We’ll be fine,” he said with a nonchalance he didn’t feel. Ginny gave him a sharp look. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep your boyfriend safe.”

“I’d like you to stay safe too, you know,” she said, jabbing him in the side with one of her pointy little elbows.

“Aw, Gin. You do care!” he said with a forced laugh, hoping to prod her into better humor.

“Only for Harry’s sake. He’d never function with you,” she snorted and smiled fondly at him, before giving him a punch to the arm that would have hurt if her fists weren’t so tiny.

“You’d miss me if a Death Eater spelled my brains out.”

“You’d have to have brains in order for them to be spelled out!” she snickered.

“Well I’m sure the Ministry would be just as happy to have me be a human shield for Harry, so it doesn’t matter if I have much brains or not.”

She gave him a much less friendly strike to the arm before snapping, “Don’t talk like that!”

Tingles erupted down his left arm where she’d hit him.

“Sorry,” Ron said sobberly. He needed to stop making comments like that around his family. Gallows humor wasn’t as easy to traverse as it had been before, or even during, the war. He massaged his arm where she’d struck it.

They looked at each other before she sighed.

“Better toughen up a bit before you join,” said Ginny. She attempted to smile at him, but it was a miserable attempt. So much for cheering up his sister. She rose from the bed with a sigh. “I’ve been gone a bit long for a trip to the loo— not that they’d notice, they’re all so out of it— You coming?”

Ron shook his head.

“I want to fill out my Auror documents before someone tries to talk me out of it.”

Ginny gave an understanding smile. “Yeah, best to get it over with now. Gives Hermione less to hassle you about if there’s ‘Official Ministry Paperwork’ already submitted.”

“Cheers,” he replied as she left.

He collapsed back on his bed and unfurled the Auror paperwork Kingsley had sent. Much of it was just forms he had to fill out, questionnaires, and towards the end was an outline of the program, pay, and signing bonus - information he hadn’t even considered. Refreshingly, he’d be making his own way right off the bat!

He needed to get all sorts of documents sent in to them as well: permission for release of grades and medical records from Hogwarts, a written out CV of sorts, and he’d need to have medical and mental evaluations that would be arranged through the Auror office, as well as a final interview.

He dropped the papers on the bed and ran his hands through his hair. His chest tightened.

Kingsley hadn’t said anything about evaluations or interviews…

Looking at it laid out in black and white made his decision become more tangible than before, and the thought of failing made his gut clench. So far no one seemed to think him capable of being a competent Auror. Maybe he’d not even be able to qualify after all. If his doubters were right about him it’d just be another time he’d fucked up and disappointed everyone.

Hermione might think becoming an Auror so soon after the war was stupid, but if he couldn’t even get past the evaluations he knew she’d respect him less. If Harry failed an evaluation or utterly bombed an interview Ron had no doubt they’d still let him through. He was The Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One, or whatever it was they were calling him now. But Ron? He was a complete nobody. The only reasons Kingsley talked to him were because of the family connection and their need for warm bodies in the department. The bar was as low as it could ever be, and Ron could still fuck it up. It was one thing when he’d privately agreed to be an Auror, but now everyone knew he’d been asked. They’d all know if he fucked up.

He thought it was a guarantee, but now... Now it was this looming uncertain mass of chaos, where anything could happen. He could let everyone down, just like he always did. He could fail and not get in.

Or worse, what if they let him into the Aurors and he fucked up the same way he had in the war? He was so weak he’d just stood by while Fred died. He was so weak the Locket had almost made him kill his best friend. He was so weak he’d abandoned Harry and Hermione. He was so weak he’d been captured by Snatchers in minutes and they’d —

He fled to his wastebasket and gagged over it before he splattered sick into the container. The foul taste made him vomit again, making tears sting his eyes. He couldn’t stop the retching and continued until it was nothing but dry-heaves.

“F-fuck...” he panted, and wiped at his eyes. He pushed the small bin away from himself, face curled into distaste. He spelled the sick away and did a quick tooth cleaning spell as well, which only helped remove the acrid taste from his mouth so much. The smell didn’t entirely dissipate from the room either.

The Auror forms still sat on the bed.

Ron grabbed them and nearly shut them in his bedside drawer when his hand stilled. He laid them on his pillow, gently un-creasing them.

He’d told Kingsley he’d sign up. He’d told his dad. He’d told George. He’d told Ginny. His mother was expecting him to sign up. Harry couldn’t go it alone.

He let out a trembling breath. He needed to get a quill and ink before he lost the will.

Finding no writing implements in his bedside drawer he looked about in his old Hogwarts trunk. After diving through old robes, essays, books, chocolate frog cards, and other detritus, he’d not found one intact quill. The only ink bottle he’d found was completely dried out, a large black stain beside it marring the bottom of his trunk’s interior. He riffled through Harry’s belongings and was still empty handed, only finding a very dull quill on its last legs, but no bottles of ink that weren’t dried out with flakes of ink rattling in them.

How did two of-age blokes not have one quill and ink set between them? Giving up, he made his way to Ginny’s room. He unsuccessfully poked about in her small roll top desk when he noticed Hermione’s book bag.

Jackpot.

She’d been writing just earlier. He could nick what he needed and return them before she knew they were gone.

He gave a chuckle as he found numerous bottles of ink, and quills galore at the bottom of her stuffed bag. Only Hermione would have brought that many backups on her person to translate runes in a field. As he put everything back, her somewhat ratty copy of Tales of Beedle the Bard fell open, scattering parchments across the floor.

He gave a groan and stooped to the floor, trying to put the papers in some semblance of order. He’d read the book enough to know what order the stories went in at least. Her usual neat and ordered writing looked almost as loopy and sloppy as his, but after a tick he realized he wasn’t holding translations at all.

There were haphazard notes and semblances of ideas, none about fairy tales or runes.

Portkey. (need to research obtaining one and cost) Taxi. ( £60?) Hotel. (??) Food. (???) Yellow pages. Government records. Private investigator. (cost?) Go to library? Research prices and conversion rate. Check on house. How many days would I be gone?

It took a few moments to decipher the cryptic list. Conversion rates? A portkey? Where was she planning on going? Then it hit him with all the subtlety of a bludger to the head. This was about her parents, and Australia.

He’d been so taken up with his family he hadn’t really thought about Hermione’s. They were safely away, and though Hermione had talked about them in passing, she’d never mentioned going to get them.

Normally he could imagine her dealing with this on her own. Her sharp mind always parsed problems with ease, and she was a bit of a genius to boot. Lately though… It wasn’t like she wasn’t still incredibly intelligent, but there was something off in just about everything she did. The way she ate, the way she talked, the way she slept… Her usual meticulous notes were haphazard and directionless, laid out in a mess like he’d never seen from her before.

Funds- £56 5 Galleons, 2 knuts. Sell jewelry from home? Get loan? Rent house? Ask Harry? Get job- where? Muggle or wizard?

He wasn’t exactly sure how much fifty-six pounds was in Wizard money, but he doubted it could be all that much, if the local Muggle market’s grocery prices were anything to go by. He couldn’t imagine her getting a job or sorting all the details out on her own in her current state.

Ron carefully tucked the pages back into Beedle and placed it in her bag.

Sure he’d put things back in their place, he bounded up the stairs and began filling out forms at a haphazard pace. Giving the forms a final once over, he called Pig over to deliver them. Before he’d even had a chance to attach them, his little owl excitedly chirped and flew straight into the window.

“Shit! Pig, you ok?” Ron asked, picking up the little owl. Pig shook his head and cheeped at Ron, eagerly cuddling up under his chin. “Alright alright! Calm down! Keep it together. I need you to deliver these for me. This goes to the Auror Admissions Office at the Ministry. Think you can find that and not fly into any more windows?”

Pig preened and twittered in confirmation as Ron tied the forms to his leg.

“You’ve got this, little guy,” he said, before opening the window and watching his owl fly into the distance.

Hopefully the department would get him assessed quickly. Even with his starting money from the Auror program he wasn’t sure it would be enough to cover a trip around the world to recover her parents. Maybe he could work somewhere to make some more money for her? If he started by the end of the week, perhaps he could save enough to get Hermione to her parents before Hogwarts commenced.

She didn’t know where to find her parents, but he knew exactly who to seek help with for this. Percy had been put in charge of family reunification. Sure, Hermione had split her family up, not the war or imprisonment, but surely she’d still qualify for help. It was the least the Ministry could do for her after everything she’d gone through. When he went to the Ministry for his assessments he’d nip on down to Percy’s office.

Semblance of a plan in place, he loped down the stairs. In the living room the match between the Kestrels and Harpies was still playing over the radio.

George had nodded off in a corner of the sofa, while their mum sleepily knitted in her usual chair, looking a bit more herself. Ginny was seated on the other end of the sofa with Harry leaning against her legs. His friend looked thoroughly blissed as one of her hands went through his hair. She caught Ron’s eye and gave him a small smile that he returned. Part of him wanted to roll his eyes seeing his best friend look like that with his baby sister, but he didn’t have the heart when they looked so very calm and happy.

As pleasing as it was to see things had calmed down, none of them were the person he was looking for. Ginny caught his consternation and indicated her head towards the kitchen.

He spun and found Hermione putting some mugs on a tray. She turned to him and smiled. In a few strides he was behind her, putting his arms around her and kissing her temple. He reveled in the feeling of her relaxing into his chest and held her even tighter.

“Mmm I missed you,” she said in a languid voice. Visions of her damned lists for Australia flooded his mind.

“M’sorry I haven’t been here for you,” he mumbled into her hair.

“I must admit, listening to a Quidditch game on the wireless is not exactly my idea of fun,” she said with a small laugh.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“Oh?” she asked, turning around to look at him, her full lips just barely turning up in a mischievous smile. Her hair was mussed with the ends of her waves fraying in several errant directions, just like they had earlier behind the shed. Her questioning gaze pierced right through him, making him feel ten feet tall and as small as a gnome all at once. Merlin, she was the prettiest thing he’d ever beheld.

He leaned in to catch her lips, hand grazing her soft cheek, before leaning his forehead against hers.

“You’re being awfully sweet,” she whispered.

“You need some sweetness,” he said, kissing her on the forehead. “I’ll get the tea, you go sit.”

“I was thinking of taking a nap, actually.”

“Yeah?” he asked, putting the kettle on the stove. “Would you mind some company?”

“I actually do want to nap, and not… Not the activities we did earlier.”

“Activities?” he slowly repeated.

“Er… Behind the shed.” A wonderful blush tinged her cheeks, making his own neck start to heat up.

“Oh right!” His voice embarrassingly cracked a bit. He grabbed a tin of tea from the shelf, before looking across to Hermione. “Well— well, as much as I enjoyed those activities , I really could use a kip.”

“Wouldn’t your Mum mind?” She bit her lip, looking far too worried about something as silly as a nap next to her boyfriend.

“Honestly, given her reaction to catching us snogging the other day, I don’t think she’d much care, seeing as we’re only napping…” He squinted and scrutinised her, before giving a cheesy grin. “Unless you were planning something else?”

“No, we are definitely only napping!” she primly replied, her little nose scrunching up to glare at him.

He loved it when she scrunched her face like that. He’d keep poking her until she’d be warring between laughter and throwing up her hands in disgust. She could scowl and pout and even stomp her feet saying he’d crossed some indecorous line— but after years of teasing her, he had a good sense for where the actual lines were drawn for her. Honestly, it was a bit thrilling to walk those lines, waiting to see how she’d react.

“What was that line from that Shaker guy… The lady doth protest too much?” Ron asked.

“Don’t think Shakespeare will make me think you’re less disgusting!”

“Hey, I just want to nap. You’re the one who’s inferring all sorts of filthy things.”

“I’m not!”

“Who brought up our time behind the shed, and who brought up actually sleeping?” She rolled her eyes, but her flush deepened. His grin grew broader. “That’s what I get for dating an older woman.”

“Older woman?” she snorted.

“Older and wiser in the ways of the world. Trying to corrupt this poor youth,” he said, giving her a pat on the head. She gave what was supposed to be an intimidating glare, then landed a playful swat at his arm, looking around to see if anyone had heard.

“We’re only napping! Stop being such a troglodyte.”

“I dunno… Are you certain you can keep your hands off me?”

“Quite,” she muttered, though her mouth was twitching. “You’ll be lucky if I ever want to look at you again, you prat,”

“Good thing, that, cause I am absolutely knackered,” he said with a yawn that started feigned, but ended up rumbling through his ears and becoming quite genuine. “Couldn’t keep up with you and your endless seductions if I wanted.”

Her face was so flushed, he was surprised she hadn’t broken into a sweat. Instead she hid her face in her hands and let out something between a groan and a giggle. “Sto-oop!”

“Fine, I’ll stop.” He leaned down and kissed her hair. “But only because you’re cute when you blush.”

She smiled in earnest at his compliment. He liked how bashful she got whenever he did it. He needed to do it more.

“I guess we’ll meet in your room then?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you upstairs once I’m done serving this lot tea.”

He watched her go with a look that had to be besotted beyond anything, but he didn’t care. He was still shocked he got to kiss her every day. Not wanting Hermione to change her mind, he quickly got tea to the living room, finding Ginny was the only one left awake.

“Can you put a heat-preserving charm on the teas for when they wake up?” she whispered.

He silently fulfilled her request and headed up the stairs, muffling a laugh behind his hand. He’d remembered the heating charm for water! He didn’t mind the stairs knowing he had Hermione waiting in his bed, and took them two at a time.

He gave a knock and opened his door to find his orange room didn’t look the same as it had earlier.

“Looks nice in here,” he said, looking around the room.

There had been bits of mess in all the corners when he left, but she’d tidied them all and spelled some curtains over the windows, making the room feel a whole lot less like a rank teenage boy’s room and much more a cozy den for dozing. His bed had also been expanded by a few feet.

The best sight was her, though.

She was curled up in the corner of his bed, sleepily blinking at him, a little smile on her lips. He considered changing out of his jeans to be more comfortable, but maybe she’d been right about warning him from any activities. With her head on his pillow, hair enticingly falling around her shoulders, and her wrapped in his sheets… Yeah, it’d be best to keep the jeans on.

He slipped in beside her and felt a charge run through him as she snuggled up to his chest, her arm ribboning around his middle. The contented keenness he’d felt quickly faded as her breathing evened out and she quickly fell asleep.

Alone, and with nothing to distract him, his mind teemed with Australia, the Aurors, and about a million other things. He tried concentrating on the feel of Hermione in his arms, the whiff of vanilla lipgloss she always used, the cadence pattern of her breath. He closed his eyes.

Sleep gave him a giant middle finger as a feeling of dread settled in. Shit. He’d become such a fucking sad sack!

At one point in his life he had been able to silently sit with himself. He used to be able to lounge and happily daydream. He could allow his mind to blankly relax, and the only chatter would be that of Hermione’s, spilling over him like a warm bath.

Now his mind was overly full, and Hermione silently held him. She hadn’t excitedly gabbed about things in ages. She had dark bags under her eyes and looked so thin and fragile it made something deep in his chest ache.

If she could hear his thoughts she’d be berating him, claiming how very un-fragile she was. Until the past few weeks, he never would have dared to dispute it. She was tenacious and determined, using her brains and stubbornness to push herself beyond her comfort and limits all the time. Perhaps she’d pushed herself too many times. Maybe her body and mind had finally given out, like a Patronus when a herd of Dementors bore down on them.

His breath hitched as memories began to dredge up.

“You awake?” he whispered.

He felt her, rather than heard her, give a small irritated grunt that vibrated against his ribs.

“Right, sorry. You said you needed a nap…”

She nodded and squeezed him before going lax against him again. Minutes passed and he could tell she was asleep from her deep even breaths.

She was asleep. And everyone else too. No one was keeping watch.

If someone came to the house there would be no one there to stop them. They could push right in and blow the living room up without a second thought. Or a few well placed demolishing charm explosions could bring the whole place down if they wanted.

Mind rattling like a broom pushed too far and fast, a restlessness stole even the whispers of sleep from him. He tried to peer out the window without moving, but Hermione had done too thorough a job blocking out the windows.

He was being ridiculous. No one would wage an attack in the middle of the afternoon. Or would they try because it was less expected and there would be less people defending the house? Everyone knew his dad worked at the Ministry and could trail him easy enough, and there was still a long list of Death Eaters, political criminals, and even Snatchers on the run who all might want a piece of them. If he bailed now, then it only left Ginny awake. Did she even have a wand on her?

So many thoughts pressed against his skull that they barely felt his own. He knew what it was to share his mind with outside forces; to have thoughts not his own intruding, slithering between the cracks and widening them into chasms. He didn’t need a locket to do it now, though. Worry after worry rattled at him until he couldn’t lay still another moment. He had to check outside!

He did his best to gently extricate Hermione’s thin arm, despite his anxiousness, and opened the window covering enough to have a proper look out. Nothing. There was nothing.

Everyone was napping and able to find some semblance of peace, but there he was with a rattling brain. No one was awake, and there was no way to force himself to sleep at this point.

He felt ridiculously alone, despite having Hermione just feet away in his bed. He hadn’t felt nearly this alone in the tub, which made zero sense.

He went to the bed and gently pushed some of the curls away from Hermione’s face. Her brows creased with worry even in her sleep. He knew what he could do to ease her worries. He brushed a kiss against her forehead headed for the garden. Eventually either people would awaken or someone would arrive— either way he could leave after and solve one of Hermione problems. After only a few minutes there was a ‘pop!’ of apparition.

“Dad!” he called out. They exchanged security questions before Ron said, “Didn’t expect you back so soon.”

“Well, even with things at the Ministry in such a mess, we need a bit of time off,” he replied, looking every bit as tired as Ron felt. “It helps that Kingsley knew I could use some sleep after last night. Were you able to get a kip in?”

“A bit.”

His father looked at him with concern, but said no more on it. “I didn’t expect George to come home so soon. How’s he been?”

“When he arrived I stopped him out here to make sure he was able to handle all of— of this...” he said gesturing to the house. “He thought I was saying he couldn’t ‘be happy enough’ or something… Got a bit shirty, so there’s that. ”

Ron went on to explain the outing George and everyone were planning for the evening.

“Do you think that’s wise, given what happened last night?”

“No, it’s daft, but everyone could use it. Even bIoody Harry looked pleased about it. Don’t worry, though. I can watch after George.”

“You don’t have to watch after your brother.”

“Well if I don’t then—”

“If he breaks his parole by apparating drunk again, that’s on him. Not you,” his father said with finality. “He’s a grown man and he shouldn’t have a child tending to him.”

“I’m not a child. I’m eighteen,” said Ron, drawing himself up, making sure his father could see how he had a fair few inches on him. “I need to go to the village.”

“Oh?” He waited for an explanation but Ron didn’t give one. “Get some bread and rashers while you’re there?”

Ron gave a grunt, but grabbed some muggle money from a tin on the shelf.

It was a familiar walk he had taken many a time before. He could remember running alongside his much older brothers as they went on errands for their mum, and other times sprinting on his own to find the secret little spot he’d found hidden in the village.

In a house so crowded it was rare to find a moment to oneself. He’d been elated to find his own place to hide that no one knew about. A little spot all his own! How clever he’d felt to have a hideout no one knew of. There was a giant stump that must have been one of those old world trees, it looked so massive. Sunbeams would freckle the bit of earth and willows with sunlight, and the nearby bakery made it smell like Mum’s kitchen.

The spot was abandoned and close to an apparition point. He could apparate there quite safely and save himself and his tired body the walk. It wouldn’t be like last time. It would surely be safe to apparate there now. He would not be surrounded. He would not taste blood in his mouth. He would… much rather walk.

As he walked he felt the warmth of the sun penetrating his skin, most likely bound to give him a sunburn. Stupid bloody ginger complexion. Despite his ambling pace he reached the village in a short time and saw a familiar pub. He’d called Hermione from it enough times to know the help there by face, but never by name.

Stepping in he saw the most familiar face glowering at him from behind the bar. Ron ducked his head a bit, seeing the annoyance and recognition on the man’s face.

“You come to yell into one of me phones again?” the broad man asked him.

Ron’s ears burned. That wasn’t very fair. He’d only screamed into the phone a few times. He’d learned since then and had done a pretty good job of volume control since. He was surprised he was recognized. He was over half a foot taller than he had been, and definitely wasn’t as scrawny.

“I came to see if you have any work I can help with, or know of one hearabouts,” he said rather stoutly.

“Just so happens we could use someone on the late shifts for a few pickup hours here or there. Bussing and washing dishes,” the barman said, crossing his arms as he looked Ron up and down. “You have any experience?”

“I can clean and know how to drive,” Ron ticked off. Ron had never driven a bus, but had enough experience washing dishes. Maybe not the Muggle way, or in a restaurant, but he could manage. “I live a ten minute walk away and I’ll work real hard.”

“What motivates yer then?”

“My girl,” he answered simply, though it made his neck burn.

The man rolled his eyes. “Jaysus— I meant what can I say to make you move your arse.”

“Oh! Well… Just tell me to and... and I will.”

The barman kept looking him up and down with a surly expression on his face.

“Well, I’ll think about it. I can call you later to give an answer.”

“But I don’t have a phone.”

“Not at all?” the barman asked, his heavy brows scrunching even further together. “Just buy one at the shop around the corner.”

“Well, we don’t have el- electricity at our place,” Ron tripped over his words. Electricity was one of those words so often said wrong in his house it was hard to remember the right term. “It’s just an old farm.”

Ron hoped it didn’t sound too off to the Muggle man. He was looking oddly at Ron, as if trying to work out a puzzle about him, but was no longer scowling.

“If you’re worried about giving me schedules or whatever, maybe you can put a note in the window with my hours?” Ron offered, filling up the silence, not comfortable under such direct scrutiny. “I can check it every morning and night to see if you need me.”

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth,” the barman sighed.

“I’d work hard, I promise!”

The man barked for someone to come out from the kitchen to cover the rather barren bar, and walked through a swinging door to the back, leaving Ron to awkwardly stand about, not knowing what to do with his hands.

“Well? You coming?” the barkeep growled.

“Oh! Yeah!” Ron said, following him. He wasn’t that familiar with Muggle customs, so perhaps it was a thing to just walk off like that? He followed him past some metal tables and a giant metal door to a small humid room.

“This is the dishwasher,” he said, pulling a lever to reveal scalding dishes and tons of steam. “Dishes and such get scraped and rinsed with the hose, put through this, then once dry you put 'em out for us to use. Easy enough?”

It was simple enough. His dad would be over the moon to inspect the shiny metal box and gadgetry. He was not looking forward to scraping plates if he were to be hired, but the Muggle didn’t have to know that he’d just be scourgifying stuff in the back half the time. It was private enough back there that he could do it without being seen.

“You got any rubber shoes?”

“Rubber?” asked Ron, perplexed.

“So you don’t scald your feet with hot water.” he said, pointing at Ron’s scuffed trainers that had definitely seen better days. They were a bit too tight and his toe almost popped out of one of them. His newer pair was buried on Dobby’s tiny body. “Well?”

“Oh! Er… I have some leather boots or wellies I could borrow.”

The man gave him the same studying look at Ron.

“That’ll do. You come in tomorrow at two tomorrow afternoon.”

Ron stopped short. “So… Does that mean—?”

“I’m not asking you to come use our phone, am I? This is a trial period only, but if you move your arse you get to stay and make decent wages.”

“Right!” he said nodding before smiling. He hadn’t realized the barkeep was the manager or whatever of the pub, and he most definitely hadn’t realized he’d just been hired. “Thank you so much!”

“We still need to fill out your paperwork. How old’re you?”

“Eighteen.”

“This your first job?”

“Does that matter?”

“Cagey, you are…” the barkeep said with a scrutinizing look. “But long as you’re on time I don’t much care.”

He was handed a form, which made it the seventeenth form of the day he had to fill out, but he couldn’t mind. He now had a way to make Hermione money for her trip! This plus the signing bonus from the Aurors should cover the costs. He started to fill it out with a pen, but quickly found they wanted all sorts of numbers and information he couldn’t give without thinking up a lie, or enchanting the paper to fool the Muggle manager. Making up his mind to finish it later, and find out what a National Insurance Number was, he took his form and left.

He found some of the restless tension he’d wrestled with since the wee hours of the morning had dissipated. He’d finally been able to do something right and took steps towards making a difference.

He turned the corner to grab some the groceries his father had requested when all the elation fled his body.

A fence had been torn down, because it normally wouldn’t be visible from the small lane. He could clearly see the stump he’d apparated to all those months ago. His childhood safe spot that had been desecrated. Part of him wanted to go explore it, but the other wanted to burn the little area to the ground. Instead he stood and stared at it, completely frozen.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d stood there staring, but by the time he came to himself the form he’d been given by the pub manager was wrinkled to shit, his nails had driven themselves deep into his fisted hands enough to bleed a tiny bit, and a clock was chiming the the hour, when he’d sworn it was a good thirty minute til.

He turned around and returned home, wiping the blood on his jeans.

As he arrived home, he saw Bill and Charlie setting up tables and chairs outside.

“Ron!” cried Charlie, a rumble of chairs and benches walking into place across the lawn. “Order of Merlin? And the Aurors! Brilliant!”

“Yes, well done,” added Bill, giving Ron a nod and look of approval. At one point Ron would have preened at such attention from his eldest brothers, but he just felt raw and strange under their gazes.

“Not much of a surprise, though,” said Charlie, giving Ron a thump on the back that nearly sent him sprawling. “After all you did the last year or so, they were bound to want you.”

Ron tried to smile at them, though he knew it was more of a grimace.

“I’d better help Mum, if she’s cooking for everyone.”

“Don’t worry, Fleur’s got it,” said Charlie, heading inside to get more chairs.

“How’re you doing?” asked Bill. He had a discerning look on his face that Ron wanted nothing to do with.

“‘M fine,” he said with a shrug.

“It’s an ok day, though. You got awards and job offers. And George is back, of course.”

Ron gave a snort. “I guess.”

“Well you’ve been doing a lot around the house. Glad you’re going out tonight.”

Ron gave huff. “I’m not exactly looking forward to it.”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t feel like it.” He couldn’t say how George would need babysitting, how Harry was one loud crash away from killing someone with a spell, how Hermione looked ready to keel over, how Ginny was almost crying all the time, or how he was so fucking tired. Bill was waiting for an explanation. “There’s just… There’s a lot going on.”

Bill gave a nod. “If you want to get away from things for a bit, maybe you could come to Shell Cottage for a visit.”

“I’m not running away to your place to escape my responsibilities anymore.”

“Ron, that’s not what happened.”

“Don’t tell me what happened!” Ron snapped. His fists clenched and he felt the raw crescent cuts in his palms sting.

“Fine then... Dad told me what all you’ve been up to, including George last night. It’s great you’re helping out everyone, but you can’t keep running yourself into the ground.”

“I’m not,” he replied with a forced calm, “I’m fine.”

Bill looked unconvinced.

“You look like shit. Maybe you should take a nap before going out.”

“Cheers,” Ron said with a roll of his eyes, pushing past Bill into the house.

As usual it was a crush of people inside. In the corner he saw Lee Jordan and Angelina Johnson had joined their party as well, giving him even more cover.

No-one noticed another redhead amongst the lot and he was able to escape to the stairs without anyone the wiser. When he got to his room he found Harry, Ginny and Hermione convening, so he quickly stashed the form for the pub in his back pocket.

“Look who’s back,” said Ginny with a smile. Harry and Hermione both turned, Harry looking immensely relieved and Hermione looking worried.

“You alright?” Harry asked, as Hermione simultaneously asked, “Where were you?”

He stutteringly explained he’d gone to the village for some supplies, and though Harry and Ginny seemed to take this at face value, Hermione didn’t look convinced. She didn’t have time to question him, though, as they were all called to dinner.

“You don’t normally go to the village alone for supplies,” Hermione noted, as Harry and Ginny walked well ahead of them.

“Yeah, well, usually Mum's the one to get stuff, isn’t she?”

She looked inclined to push him on it, so as they took their seats Ron wedged himself between Ginny and his Mum, knowing both would be too distracted by others to bother with him.

He was happy to not speak to anyone and just listen to conversations.

“Well, Percy couldn’t come because of his work with family reunification at the DMT. His desk is just swamped with people looking for their families,” Mum was explaining to Fleur.

“Weren’t you playing Quidditch for the Bats?” Charlie asked Angelina.

“The Tornadoes, but you need peripheral vision and mine’s a bit shit on the right side since the war.”

Down the table Lee sat with George, whose smile almost looked genuine. Lee’s hair was a bit lopsided where he’d had to shave it off. Part of it had burnt off, and he had a wicked burn scar down the back of his neck.

Ron couldn’t help thinking how there were so many ways a person can lose things in a war: careers, body parts, dignity, friends, a brother.

“Hey, everyone, a toast!” George suddenly burst out. Ron winced, but everyone else seemed happy to raise their glasses. “To The Tallest of Little Brothers and his fine sandwich making skills, the Brain who set out the flatware so nicely for this meal, and The Boy-Who-Kicked-Arse at playing chess against Charlie, who sucks balls.”

Everyone laughed and said cheers, with two exceptions. The first was Mum, who was chastising George for his language and ‘not saying a word about what they’d actually accomplished,’ though she had a bit of a smile on her face she was trying to hide.

The second was Ron, who wasn’t sure if he’d ever feel like celebrating anything again.

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Thanks so much for reading and all the support, lovlies! :D If you like this, please leave a comment! :D They mean so much to me and motivate me so much as well.

Sorry it's been a while between updates. In a very intense grad school program :P

KEEP SAFE! KEEP IT MAGICAL! :) -Hill

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ae0nx · 4 years ago

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FRUITS BASKET S2 EPISODE 19 + 20 RECAP

Hello!! Decided to pair my recap of episode 19 and 20 together since they both kinda flow into each other and explore the same message in different ways through Yuki and Rin. It’s a really nice and interesting flow of story!

Let’s get into it!

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- Ok, let me get my Shigure hatred out of the way cos I really like some of the stuff he says later. But the fact that he even ATTEMPTED to try and joke about him and Rin having a relationship after we just had that really dodgy scene earlier in the season with him and Rin in his office makes me wanna kick him in the teeth. Anyways...

all the scenes that take place on these stairs are always stunning and i just wanted to show some appreciation of that first. ✨

I love this scene between Hatori and Shigure (I love most scenes between them tbh). I’m beginning to understand that Shigure is for sure the type who believes in ‘using the lesser evils to kill the greater evil’. And, I guess my view of Shigure gets a lot more complicated when I see him through that lens...

But, I do secretly love very deep down in my soul when Shigure says stuff like this and kinda acts like a trickster God. I have a weakness for trickster Gods.

- Rin feeling both intensely protective about the kind people in her life vs wanting to push them away is actually very reminiscent of our favourite cat, Kyo! Gave me a lot of reminders of this scene:

That uncomfortableness with vulnerability and kindness runs strong with these zodiac kids. It’s sad.

Everyone eventually folds in to Tohru. God tier? (I’m still working on my Tohru is an empathetic God essay)

Aii-ya...

But again, I appreciate how this thought follows through to a resolution and message of ‘needing people’ at the end of episode 20. I’ll get to that later.

- Every time. I love how these moments of Tohru supporting the zodiac are always highlighted by being in the darkness of the night (or rain) to the brightness of the dawn (or clear skies). Poetic. Tohru is a god.

Shigure’s so on point in this episode. I know he’s essentially ‘seed planting’ but... I... might just give him the title of Best Boi for this episode? Yeah... why not 😅

I. LOVE. KIMI. SOOO MUCH. 😂 Her love for chaos is amazing and I love her! Again! Trickster Gods!!! <3

I CAN’T. Kakeru bickering with Yuki like a scorned lover. Haru essentially being happy for Yuki and playing along (or maybe he was being fully serious, he would). Kakeru being ridiculous and dramatic. It’s alllll gooood!

- The whole scene with Shigure, Kyo, Yuki and Tohru at dinner with the dessert felt all so normal and domestic! It was great, we haven’t had many ‘regular’ scenes since season 1 and it brought me back a little (Also, Tohru noticing how Kyo has been paying more attention to her in the most Tohru of ways was cute as well 👀)

She did look really cute!!! Of course, Rin’s getting Outfit Appreciation cos of course. That’s it. 4 stars.

I love how this is worded and it’s the perfect description for a toxic family setting, in all situations (like... even without the whole cursed to turn into animals thing). Furuba gets so uncomfortably personal sometimes! And again, mixing this with Yuki’s lesson at the end of episode 20 leads to an interesting conclusion... which I wonder if people would be offended by it... but I’ll get to that later.

Lol, as much as I really appreciated that someone had finally asked Tohru the ‘real question’ of why she’s working so hard to break the curse anyway. Rin’s emotional intelligence and empathy to back down from pressing her about it was really lovely.

In general, I really love that none of the characters are just archetypes. Rin could’ve been written like the bad-ass one with an attitude and an awful past but she also ends up being so emotionally intelligent and caring and loving! SO much!

Also, showing that love can have many unexpected ways of being displayed and expressed. Something which is an ongoing conversation throughout this series...

- The whole scene of Tohru being in bed but dreaming that she was back in her old apartment with her Mum was painfully amazing and definitely relatable. It’s always so haunting when dreams like that happen in general and the look on Tohru’s face at the end when she opens the door just added to it:

Chilling!

Especially if you find a parallel between Tohru’s desperation to be together with her mother to Akito’s desperation to be together with the zodiac...

Tohru is a god

EPISODE 20!!

- Tohru continuing to be a worried mother about Yuki is sweet but also... it’s like... ‘he’ll be okayyyy, Tohru!’ Haha but it’s okay, I think that it’s shown towards the end of this episode that this is kinda the nature of their relationship and Tohru was reassured that Yuki will be ok

Ah, Yuki! How cool of you!!! <3

(Although the original sub version of this was hilarious with the sudden drop in his voice 😂)

- Goddamn it, Kakeru! Between him throwing the papers and him knocking the plants over the other episode, I’m beginning to think this is an impulse for him as well... 🤨

Haha, turns out I was right!

It’s really great how much Kakeru and Yuki’s relationship has grown to where they can trust each other with secrets or private stuff while they’re both separately dealing with their own lives. It’s just really nice :)

Said so well. Yuki gets Best Boi of this episode, of course.

But seriously, this is a really great display of having to accept trauma to therefore move on. Of course, what Yuki, Kakeru and Rin’s parents do is cruel and wrong in so many ways, but you can’t rely on the option that they’ll eventually get better because so many times that’s not the case.

Yuki specifically has come to a result of him accepting his fate of having these shitty people in his life through family ties but is also adapting the way he can move on personally and grow up despite his shitty circumstances. I said this might be controversial to say as it’s not on the victim who should have to change and be better, it’s the abuser. And there’s a chance someone could read this scene and feel like the show is saying otherwise but I also think there’s a realness to having difficult family members that you may have to be tied to through circumstances.

In conclusion, I’m not saying it’s on the victim of a situation to have to adapt to their situation, that shouldn’t be so. But, at this point, if any of these characters want to grow and develop and just live, they unfortunately need to fight for it. They can’t rely on their abusers somehow becoming better.

- Yuki’s growth is highlighted so much throughout this whole episode but I think I love the scene with his mother the most and showing that while Yuki has grown and no longer even acknowledges his mother as a threat anymore that his mother as well is growing and trying (again, in her own way). Also, Yuki’s awkward face remembering that moment was adorable :3

Aha! <3

- Lol I low-key wanna see Tohru as an evil step-sister as much as I wanna see Hana and Kyo pairing up to be Cinderella and the Prince just to see how chaotic it’d be

- The closet scene with the black paint really could’ve gone worse if Yuki was still the same as he was in season 1! While Yuki still had an anxious reaction to the situation which was more than understandable (as Kakeru said <3), I love that he’s in a place now where he can almost pick himself up now, be honest about his feelings and he has other people around to go to now for help! In different friendship circles! Wow.

- Machi knocking down the door for him in a silent mutual acknowledgement is so weirdly... gentle.

A MOTHER!!!

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I really like how the message interwove over two episodes in different contexts. And I hope I was clear in explaining how I saw how the messages came through in different perspectives.

Fruits Basket, coming through with the painful reality! 🥲

(Sorry for the weird ending) See you sooon!!

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket 2020 #fruits basket season 2

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jungxk · 4 years ago

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// rant

i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.

my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.

nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?

nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?

this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.

at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.

last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.

it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.

sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj

i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x

#answered

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talicat713 · 4 years ago

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It’s Always Been Molly

John Shelby x OC

Part Six

*GIF NOT MINE CREDIT TO: @imaginesparadise *

A/N: Hi all. So this is a look into Molly’s past. This was a hard chapter to write. I am fortunate to never have been abused, but I know some people on here and maybe you reading this now may have been. I am sorry if this offends you in any way. It was never my intention. If you are being abused, please reach out to someone for help! There are hotlines for everything nowadays. I hope everyone is staying safe out there. Much Love 💜

WARNINGS: language, angst, mentions and depictions of abuse, death, murder, cover up of murder, mentions of pregnancy, heartbreak, IF I MISSED ANYTHING ELSE I’M SORRY!

READ PARTS 1-5 HERE

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Taglist: @haphazardhufflepuff @pijoendios @rebel-without-cause-x @lotsoflovefromlea @theunderlier @envysorrows @healthygirlsdoitbetter @account71453 @blindedbypeaky @xshinytrashcanx @wednesdayqueen-18 @chaotichurricaneoffandoms @jrdpdlcki @lettersshapes @rosesandrap @jenni-jones00

**If you would like to be added to the taglist please let me know**

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John and Molly have spent many more nights together in his old bedroom. The two agreed that for now it would be best to keep it between themselves. But they both seemed to be in better moods around each other and would talk more. That did not go unnoticed by the family. They made it their mission to find out what was going on but neither of the two cracked.

John and Molly were now laid together in bed after another round of passionate love making. This time, unlike the first and many other times, John let Molly finish the tidying.

“John”, Molly said in a soft tone.

“Yes, my love”, he replied.

“I want to talk about the days leading up to when I left. I think it’s time”, she said calmly.

To say John was shocked was an understatement. She hadn’t brought the past up since the day she watched his children. “Okay love”, he replied, matching her tone.

Molly then sighed reliving her memories.

The first five years of Molly’s life were wonderful. She lived in the same house on Watery Lane with her mother and grandmother. Her mother gave birth to her in that house. Molly's father was never in the picture. She sometimes thought maybe her mother didn’t know who her father was, but it never bothered her. She had fond memories of spending most of her time grandmother.

But everything changed when her mother brought Richard to live with them. She remembers her grandmother saying Richard had always been around and that she didn’t like him. Molly didn’t like him either. He always took her mother away from her. He was always drunk and screaming at the top of his lungs.

When her grandmother died, things really changed. Molly had no one to protect her from Richard, so that’s when she started hanging around the Shelby’s more. Arthur Sr. used to watch out for her by orders of his wife. Mrs. Shelby was always worried about what Richard was capable of. She worried when her friend would show up to lunches with bruises and burns on her skin, and she worried more about the innocent little girl, so she let Molly spend most nights with them.

When Molly’s mother got pregnant, Molly knew she was going to have to do everything in her power to protect her and her future sibling. But something changed in Richard when her mother announced the pregnancy. He stopped drinking, stopped hitting, he started to be nice. It was almost as if he was excited to be having a baby. Molly thought that maybe she would finally have a normal loving family.

But boy was she wrong.

A few days after Jacob was born, Richard got arrested. Molly never knew why. All she knew was that he was going to be gone for a while, and he was.

Richard didn’t come back for seven years. For seven years she and her mother never spoke of him. All those old wounds had finally healed. They were very happy being a little family of three again.

She will never forget the day he came back. It had been a few weeks after baby Finn was born. Molly and Jacob would go over to Polly's during the days while their mother worked. That particular day, Polly had sent Molly down to the Shelby’s with a basket for her sister and the baby. She stayed for a little while to look at the baby. But when she was ready to leave, she saw him. Richard was standing outside their house waiting for someone to get home. Molly had instantly shut the Shelby’s front door and ran back into the house crying. She had run so fast, she ran right into Arthur and Tommy. They both tried to clam the thirteen-year-old girl but had no luck. She sat there for hours and just cried. John tried to comfort her the best he could. Eventually, he had gotten out of her that Richard was back, and she spilled every bad thing he had ever done to her. It was at the moment John vowed to always protect her.

Letting Richard back into the house was the worst thing her mother ever did. The once almost happy man he was seven years before had vanished. He became even more of a drunk. The abuse got worse as time went on. Molly protected Jacob and her mother tried so hard to protect her. Until the day she couldn’t.

Richard had been angry about something for days, which lead to screaming and fighting. Her mother had begged Polly to take Jacob for a few days just until Richard had calmed down. She tried to get Molly to go stay with her too, but Molly fought back because she didn’t want to leave her alone.

Richard had come home from work and as soon as he walked through the door, he had started picking up things, throwing and breaking them. And then he walked out the door down to a bar and didn’t come home for hours.

Molly and her mother were in bed when the door slammed open and things started to break again. Her mother told her to stay in bed and not to make a sound. Her mother then went down the stairs to try to calm him down. Molly heard them shouting at each other for a while and then loud footsteps ascending the stairs. They were still shouting and Molly could hear her mother's voice outside her door.

“She isn’t here Richard. She’s at the Shelby’s. She’s fifteen! She’s allowed to stay at her friends,” she heard her mother cry.

Then Molly heard a huge bang against the wall and more yelling. Then heard something being thrown down the stairs, and the yelling stopped until Richard managed to open her bedroom door to give her the hardest beating she ever received.

After what felt like hours, Richard had finally left again. Molly then went down the stairs to unfortunately find her mother bleeding from the head and not moving. “Mum? Mum, please wake up! Please,” she screamed. When nothing changed, she ran outside and started banging on the Shelby’s door.

Polly answered the door, she was shocked at the state the poor girl was in. Polly reaches out to hold the poor girl who was sobbing,” Molly sweetheart what happened?”

Molly looked up at her,“My mum Pol,” she swallowed,” I think he killed her.”

Polly then yelled for Arthur, Tommy, John and Ada to come down. She brought Molly into the house and sat her on the sofa. Once the boys came down, their eyes went wide at the state of the girl. John instantly sat by her and pulled her into him as she sobbed.

“Arthur, come with me over to her house. Tommy, have a Blinder go find Richard then come back to her house. Ada, please keep the little ones upstairs. John, keep her here. I’m sure the police will want to speak with her,” Polly said as she gave orders.

Molly’s mother's death was then ruled an accident, and both Jacob and Molly were forced to live with him. Molly was convinced he paid off a police officer, but never had any proof. Polly ordered the Peaky Blinders to keep a close eye on Richard and even closer ones on Molly and Jacob.

Molly was never the same after that. She hardly left the house, but when she did, she made sure to be home before Richard returned. She had distanced herself from all of her friends, and most forgot eventually about her. She barely talked to anyone who wasn’t her brother or a Shelby.

Molly and John had been courting for two years around this time and both loved each other so much. John went over to check on her every day and sit with her. Some days she wouldn’t even let him come into the house. Polly was convinced Richard was manipulating her. John didn’t know what to believe. All he knew was the girl he fell in love with was pushing him away.

Unfortunately, John fell into the teenage boy temptations and slept with someone else. When he visited Molly, she could smell someone else’s perfume on him. When she confronted him, he lied and said it was Adas. In the back of her mind she knew he was cheating, but didn’t want to admit it.

What John and the rest of the Shelby’s never knew was, Richard actually was manipulating Molly, telling her John didn’t really love her and the Shelby’s didn’t really care about her. Richard was also using Molly as his personal punching bag. She was allowing it, so he wouldn’t hurt Jacob. Of course, she never told anyone. She wouldn’t let John into see her when the bruises were fresh.

One day she decided she was going to stand up for herself, and had planned everything out. She knew it would be a cool night, so most of the neighborhood would have their windows open. She sent Jacob to one of his friends who didn’t live on the lane. She decided not to tell anyone her plan and hoped the Shelby’s had their windows open.

Molly decided not to do the little things Richard like to have done every day, hoping it would provoke him. So when he stumbled in drunk that night, he instantly got angry.

“I thought I told you to have this fucking place clean by the time I got home every day,” he yelled getting in her face.

“I wasn’t feeling well, so I rested most of the day,” she replied with no emotion.

It was then Richard started throwing things while yelling profanity’s. Molly then got scared. As she ran upstairs to her room, Richard lunged for her making her fall and hit her head. He then grabbed and threw her against the wall, “You are worthless. No one will ever love you. No one will even miss you when I’m done with you.”

Molly was now crying,”Fuck you!,” then kneed him in this private area and made a run up the stairs to her room. She had hoped he’d give up, but he broke down the door.

“You're going to look so pretty flying down the stairs like your mother did,” he said as he dragged her out of the room into the hallway.

Molly then heard the police sirens down the street. She silently thanked whatever neighbor called them. She then used all her strength to push him down the stairs. She waited a second to see if he would get up and when he didn’t, she ran outside scream,” Help! Help he’s trying to kill me! John! Polly! Arthur! Tommy! Help!”

Police came running down the street and Polly and the boys came running out of the house. “Oh my god, Molly! ,” Polly cried as she made her way toward her. She wrapped the girl hug and shushed her while she cried, promising it would be okay. Polly then handed the girl to John while she spoke with the police.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Molly. I should have seen the signs,” he cried.

John looked up and saw Polly, walking over to them, “Take her upstairs to bed. The police are bringing him out now. They will be back in the morning to get her statement.”

John then picked her up and carried her into the house up to his room. She had fallen asleep right away. John just laid next to her, watching her. She had almost died that night and John didn’t know what he would have done if she would have.

When Molly woke up the next morning, John wasn’t in bed with her. She could faintly hear the family downstairs having a whisper argument, so they wouldn’t wake her. It sounded like it was getting heated, so she decided to go down to see what was going on. And that was when Molly’s world came crumbling down around her.

“What’s going on? ,” she asked, walking into the kitchen. It was then all eyes were on her. Everyone was scared to say something. Molly just looked back at everyone waiting for an answer, “Well?”

It was then she smelled that familiar perfume. And stood behind John was Martha, one of her best friends. Molly then made her way over to him,” John why is she here?” John wouldn’t dare look her in the eyes, he was just staring at Martha.

Molly followed his gaze and gasped,” No! You didn’t!” she cried.

Martha was standing next to them with a very visible bump in her belly.

Molly then slapped John across the face and ran for the door. “Molly wait! Let me explain,” John yelled after her. The rest of the family stood with their heads hung low. The all felt bad for Molly and were upset with John for doing something like that to a person who was like family to them.

Once Molly was out the door, John was close behind,” Molly please let me explain.”

“Explain what, John? Huh? I’m pretty sure that bump in Martha’s middle explains everything. I can’t believe you lied to me! I don’t ever want to see your face again John Shelby. We are done,” Molly cried in the middle of the street. She then ran into her house and slammed the door. She didn’t care about what had happened there the night before. Molly was done with Small Heath. She packed what little she had and was running away.

Molly left that night, almost without anyone knowing. “Molly, where are you going?” The voice was Tommy Shelby.

“I bought a one way ticket out of here Tommy. London is the destination. Richard will be released in a few days. Please for the love of god keep him away from my brother. Promise me Tommy, promise me you’ll keep him safe. Hire someone to take care of him. Tell him I love him and I’m sorry. Don’t tell anyone where I’m going please. Promise me Tommy. You're the only one I can trust right now.”

Tommy sighed, grabbing her hand, “I promise. Call me when you get settled, so I know where to reach you if I need too.”

With a nod, Molly pulled him into a hug and whispered, “Thank you.”

And just like that she was gone.

Molly looked up at John, “I know I never let you explain back then and I’m sorry for that. Losing my mother sent me into a terrible headspace, then manipulation and abuse from Richard made everything worse. I pushed you into her arms. I blamed you for breaking my heart for so long, but I realize now that I was at fault as well.”

Molly then sat up straddling him, “I’m sorry and I forgive you. The past can now stay in the past,” she then lent down to tuck her head until his chin and hug him.

“I can’t wait to see what our future brings us,” Molly said with a smile.

John kissed her head and hummed. This is what he’s waited eight years for. The girl that he let slip away, to be back in his arms for good.

(posted 07/25/2020)

#john shelby #john shelby x reader #john shelby imagine #john shelby imagines #john shelby x oc #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinder #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #talicat imagines

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aerdendios · 4 years ago

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Daily Writing Challenge Day 4 - Broken

Aerden stared at the familiar front door, inhaling and exhaling slowly in an attempt to calm his nerves. He had talked himself in and out of doing this multiple times over the course of the past couple weeks, but there was something about today that drew him to the front stoop of his childhood home.

He knew his mother’s husband was home, he had caught the occasional glimpse of the man ever since Pollux had sent him the text saying he was back in the city. There hadn’t been an incident in some time, and Aerden assumed that the man just completely forgot of his existence. That was for the best. But Aerden had questions and he wanted answers, so now here he was, standing on this stoop.

This was a terrible idea.

He rang the bell and took a step backwards, straightening his posture and attempting to look more confident. This probably wasn’t what anyone meant when they told him that he needed to have more confidence. There was a moment of panic where he thought that maybe he should just run away and forget about it all, last time he was here he left broken and bloodied. However, this would continue eating away at his conscience if he didn’t get answers, so he stood his ground.

Then, the door opened, and there he was: Aerden Lo’sharri Senior, or as he often went by, Varril, his middle name. Aerden could feel the blood drain from his face; this man had been such a huge part of his childhood, and it took the younger Aerden far too long to realize the extreme levels of manipulation and abuse that the elder had put him through. All he had wanted back then was to be loved and to make his ‘father’ proud. Now, he’s not entirely sure that either of those two things ever happened.

“To what do I owe the honor, son?” Varril seemed nonplussed by the entire situation, almost as if he had expected Aerden to show up at some point.

“I’m not your son…” The words were mumbled and quiet. The elder Lo’sharri was already getting under his skin.

“Speak up, kid”

“I am -not- your son.” Aerden spoke with a more forceful tone while doing his best to maintain eye contact.

Varril chortled, which only made Aerden even angrier, before stepping aside to allow him entrance into their home, no, Varril’s home. “Found out about your whore mother’s cripple then? What is Mister Hale and that pretty girlfriend of his up to these days hmm?”

Aerden’s face began turning a shade of red, the anger welling up inside of him was trying to brim over. The man was pushing his buttons on purpose, he knew this. It was something he had always done his entire life to just about everyone in it. Speaking poorly of his mother, letting on that he kept tabs on certain people; he was trying to get a reaction. Aerden ignored it and stepped inside, keeping his head held high.

This was a terrible idea.

The rush of memories once inside the familiar home didn’t help, and he immediately felt that pang of longing for his mum. “My father is doing great, thanks for asking.” He turned to face Varril and plastered on the fakest smile he could muster. Two could play this game.

Varril made some amused noise, although the shift in his demeanor was obvious: he was annoyed. These were dangerous waters to tread. He moved towards the bar, retrieving two glasses and a bottle of scotch to pour them both a drink, pushing one across the counter. There was no way Aerden was going to drink this, but he played the part and stepped up to the bar, wrapping his hand around the tumbler. The adrenaline rush had kicked in, but it didn’t stop his hands from shaking, nor could it stop that lump in his throat from forming.

“What do you want, Aerden? There’s nothing left in this house that belongs to you.”

Aerden dropped his hands down to wipe against the tops of his thighs, and so the older Lo’sharri couldn’t see them shaking. He turned his gaze downwards then wetted and parted his lips, but no words came out.

“Just spit it out, I don’t have all day to deal with your cowardice.”

This was a terrible idea.

Aerden raised his gaze, he needed to see the reaction. His fists balled at his side and his jaw clenched, “Did you kill my mum?”

Aerden Lo’sharri Senior wasn’t expecting that question and it showed all over his face and in his aura. That was the one of the benefits of being an empath, strong emotional reactions were nearly palpable. He didn’t need a spoken answer, and this is exactly why he wanted to do it face to face. Finally, the older man broke his silence, “You’re a foolish child with foolish notions.” He waved a hand dismissively.

There was no hard evidence, but that one look, that one reaction, was all Aerden needed to know that the man was guilty. Unfortunately this was the part of the plan where it got all fuzzy, because now what?

This was a terrible idea.

That question was promptly answered for him. There was a sudden, sharp pain in the back of his head, and then he blacked out.

@daily-writing-challenge Also @polluxhale @kharrisdawndancer @straightouttatheashes @twosidedsana @pyraelia @arandori @vixannya ((Since you all will probably hear about this IC later!))

#story #dwc2020 #day42020 #aerden #broken #bad dad #his mum #this was a terrible idea

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years ago

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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.76

Nursing his right arm, Lance was still slightly shocked he’d been shot by Krolia. He couldn’t say he didn’t have it coming, following her voice calling his name like he had, but Krolia... Jesus. What’d he got himself into. Keith was furious. Krolia seemed to take it all in good humour. Lance was trying his hardest to keep the peace between mother and son... but she just might be the weirdest person who’d come into his life lately.

Being strong for Keith, he’d pulled his shirt back on, letting Keith do the buttons for him because he knew how much his boyfriend was worrying. Maybe if he’d stopped to think, he would have realised it was all a prank... yet, when that gun had come out, all he’d thought about was Keith not getting shot on his watch. Following the sound of Coran’s voice, the whole group was waiting with him as he tried to calm down a raging Pidge who demanded to see him. Krolia was standing towards the back of the group looking rather amused. Wrapping his good arm around his gremlin, Pidge went straight for his nuts, before realising it was him and throwing herself into his hold

“You fucking scared me!”

Scared him? He was a hair away from being hit in the balls!

“I’m fine. A little bruise and good as new”

“You’re being a lying little shit, aren’t you?”

Lance kissed Pidge on the top of the head. She was just the right height for him to abuse his older brother rights

“Totally. Nah. I’m okay. Are you guys okay?”

“We were until Shiro started shaking and said you’d been shot! What the fuck man!”

Pidge pulled out of his grip, Lance yelping as she punched his bad arm. Staggering into Keith as he clutched his arm tighter, glasses falling off his face thanks to his lack of coordination, his foot landing on them where they were crunched as Keith cried

“Lance!”

Keith wrapped his arms around him as he caught him, hand firm against his now extra sore arm, Lance groaned

“Not that arm...”

Keith swearing

“Shit!”

They were ridiculous. They’d make an amazing comedy act. The vampire who kept getting himself hurt and his boyfriend who kept finding the spots by accident.

Coran patted his shoulder... his sore shoulder. Lance wondering if this was how he died?

“I think maybe we should all sit down for a pot of tea. Krolia, will you be joining us?”

God. Yes. Yes, Coran! You beautiful fae bastard! Anything so he wouldn’t get hit or nearly hit or hugged to hard again! Krolia’s reply held traces of a giggle at their antics. It wasn’t Lance’s fault he was clumsy. That’s what happened when you wore a prescription that wasn’t right for them suddenly got attacked by a wild gremlin

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything”

Coran fetched a tray of tea as the rest of them sat around a conference table that was thankfully not the one they’d be at when Kolivan visited. Krolia sat across from Keith, smile on her lips as Lance tried not to look at her. She was beautiful. Black hair streaked with purple. Features so much like Keith’s. Keith was a good foot taller than his mother, but Lance knew Krolia could easily whoop his boyfriend’s arse. Hunk looked nervous again. Pidge was sitting between him and Lance. And the silence was awkward as hell. He may as well have died in the alley for how awkward things were. What was a little shooting between friends? Mentally he’d placed a bet on Shiro talking first... He’d have won $10 if he’d taken his own bet... but he wasn’t exactly sure how to pay himself.

“Krolia. We had the suspicion you’d arrive soon. How are you finding Platt?”

Lance wasn’t moody... not jealous that Shiro was being the cool mature one

“Fine. It’s nice to see you, Curtis and Keith again. Let’s be honest here, I’m more pleased to find Keith safe and well, and even more interested on how he came to be dating a vampire”

Lance flushed, sliding down in his chair, aggravating his shoulder as he did

“Are you saying there’s something wrong with my brother?!”

Bless Pidge! Krolia had no idea how mad Pidge could get

“Not at all. He seems to be quite apt. Passed the boyfriend test with flying colours”

“Good, because he’s been through enough shit. It doesn’t matter if this is his first relationship. He’s about as good at it as Keith”

Aaaaaaand he was sliding further down in his chair.

Across the table Krolia laughed

“If he was as good as Keith, an inability to converse and they’d never have gotten past awkward friendship”

Now Lance was annoyed. Sitting up to fast, his poor arm was wracked with shooting pains

“Keith talks to me about all kinds of things. He’s a good man. He’s funny, and he’s weird, and his haircut is fresh out of the ‘80’s and I like that about him”

Krolia raised an eyebrow. She was wearing an expression he’d seen so many times on his boyfriend’s face

“Keith is like, he’s a good guy. He makes Lance happy, and we’re friends, right, man”

Hunk’s awkwardness made Lance’s heart swell. Not only was the big guy ignoring his nerves, but he saw Keith as Keith, despite having so much to wrap his head around.

Shiro laughed

“I’m afraid Keith’s gone and made some pretty good friends here, Krolia. He’s really come out of his shell since meeting Lance. It’s been good for him. And I’m pretty sure you’re going to be in trouble if you tease him”

Krolia shrugged

“I’m happy for him. I really am. As long as he’s continuing to be careful, we can cover the fact he’s fallen for a vampire”

Keith slammed his hands on the table. Lance wincing. His boyfriend was still an anger loaf at heart

“I don’t want to cover the fact I’m dating Lance. He’s... he’s my boyfriend and probably my best friend. You don’t get to act like a mother when it suits you. Seriously, why did you even come?”

“To see you. I know you may find it hard to believe it, but I do care for you”

“Right. Like you cared when you dropped off the face of the fucking planet and abandoned me after dad died!”

Sadness washed over Krolia’s face

“I didn’t know he’d died and by the time I did, it was safer for you to stay in the system”

Oh, Lord. Krolia was another Keith. Keith was so angry he was blurting out things he’d never usually say in front of Pidge and Hunk

“Yeah. Bounce your kid from house to house. You’re too late, Mum. I feel more for Miriam than I do for you”

That wasn’t true. That wasn’t true and Lance knew it. Part of Keith desperately wanted to reconnect with his mother. This was only serving to drive a wedge further between them

“Look, Keith. You know the life. I couldn’t raise you at the Blades. It wouldn’t have been safe for you there”

“So you wait until I’m nearly dead? Wait, no, it was Shiro who saved me. He’s my brother, and my family. Not you”

Lance groaned. Getting Keith and Krolia on the same page was going to be one hell of a fight

“I sent money to every single family you were at. I followed you until you decided you had to run away. I never stopped caring about you. Leaving you and your father broke my heart, but I couldn’t bring a war down on both of you”

See! Lance was right. Krolia did love Keith in her own way. She just really sucked at telling him and Keith wasn’t... Keith didn’t know how to hear her or see past the pain

“That wasn’t your call to make”

Awkward silence descended again. Lance kind of wished Pidge and Hunk weren’t there... nor Shiro and Curtis. If he could just get them talking then... it’d be a start. Keith said a lot in what he didn’t say, and right now he was screaming for someone to reach out and reassure him... but despite everything he was feeling, Lance knew that Krolia was the one he needed. Moving his sore arm, he rested his hand on Keith’s thigh to silently remind him he was there for him.

They all breathed a sigh of relief when Coran came in with a tray of tea. Setting each up in front of them, Keith glared at the liquid as if it’d offended him, Coran either oblivious or ignoring the atmosphere

“Lactose free for number two... Now let’s all sit enjoy a nice cup of tea as we talk. Krolia, perhaps you can tell us more about your companions? Don’t worry, Pidge and Hunk here both signed a non-disclosure, they’re practically family”

Pidge and Hunk now had an uncle to add to their weird little family. Coran knew all about them, and had always enjoyed hearing about them

“Perhaps we should save that for a more formal briefing. I am interested in my son’s progress here”

Coran’s voice filled with pride

“He’s excellent. Very diligent and task orientated. His skills may be wasted in a small city like Platt, but we are certainly happy to have him, and Shiro, naturally”

“I’m glad to hear that. Originally we sent him here to be safe, with a nice easy target. I wasn’t able to meet with him before he left. We didn’t expect the escalation of things quite so quickly, but being here means I’ll be able to spend more time with him, and Lance”

Keith snorted, Krolia picking up her cup of tea, looking over the rim

“Something funny?”

“This act you’re putting on for everyone. I’ve finally found a place I’m happy, and you walk in like you’re just going to be part of my life”

“Keith, you know...”

“No, mum. I don’t know. You’ve made it clear I’m a disappointment of a hunter... Sitting over there, laughing at the fact I couldn’t kill one vampire...”

Keith went to move Lance’s hand off his thigh, forgetting to be careful as he did. Hissing, Lance moved to move his right arm with his left, Keith’s whole face falling as he’d realised he’d hurt him

“I can’t do this”

Keith went to push back his chair, Lance on his feet before he could, clutching his arm against as him as he spoke

“Wait! Okay. Time out. Keith, I don’t know Krolia, but I can tell she does care. She just doesn’t know how to talk to you properly. Krolia, you keep antagonising him. Things like wanting to know how Keith is, is different from prying into his skills, or his work here. Keith, she’s your mum. I’ve barely met her and I can see so much of you in her. I know it’s hard to talk about what you need to with all of us here, but neither of you hate each other. There’s no need to set each other off because you can’t quite figure out how to start a conversation. Keith is mad at you, Krolia. You shouldn’t have pulled a prank like you did today, expecting he’d understand why or be okay with it. Babe, your mum’s a Blade member and as far as I can tell, they’re all a bit weird. I’m not exactly happy over what happened, but it did, and we don’t have a magical time machine to undo it. Before you ask, Pidge, time travel isn’t a real thing, I’m sorry to break your heart like that. Krolia, I’m serious about Keith. I care a lot about him, and deciding to date wasn’t easy for either of us. I’m the enemy. You guys are supposed to kill people like me and move on without a second thought. Now, my arm really fucking hurts and my ego is probably showing because I’m a bit too protective of Keith, but enough’s enough....”

Lance flushed as he realised he’d kind of let lose on both Krolia and Keith and probably embarrassed his boyfriend as well as hurt his feelings by acting like Keith couldn’t talk for himsel. Feeling like he had to explain even more and knowing he really needed to shut up, he finished rather lamely

“Ummm. Well, yeah. Basically, stop being mad at each other because you’re both angry little loafs that don’t know how to socialise”

Keith stared at him long enough to know he’d walked all over his boyfriend’s feelings. It took all of ten seconds for Keith to be pushing his chair back

“I’m sorry, Coran. I don’t think I’ll be very good company”

At least Keith paused long enough to apologise, before leaving the room... Not inviting Lance to go with him. Yeah. That wasn’t missed. Keith was getting so good at coming to him to talk, that Lance expected it

“I’ll talk to him. But Lance is right. Keith doesn’t know how to talk to you about anything that’s not work. You and I need to have a conversation, Krolia”

Oh damn. He didn’t want to be Krolia. A mad Shiro was a scary thing in its own way. As Shiro left to find Keith, Pidge leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she did

“Damn. And I thought my family was dysfunctional. Is it like this all the time?”

Lance sighed, wriggling his chair closer to his gremlin for comfort

“Keith? Keith’s family? Or being here?”

Pidge huffed

“I’m not prying into Keith’s past until he wants to tell us. Look what happened last time someone’s dark secret came out? I found out one brother’s a werewolf and the others a vampire. Nope. No more prying there. I mean here in general. How do you guys get any work done?”

“Normally they do the work and I just stay in my room”

“So you’re a slacker?”

“I prefer to think of it as much loved relative visiting. But yeah. Kind of a slacker. All I can really do is support Keith and Shiro, around working from home”

Coran was staring at the conference room door, as if he thought Shiro and Keith would be back by now

“Lance does help us quite a lot. He’s always been a very charming and helpful person. Very smart too”

Pidge snorted

“Coran, are you sure you’ve got my brother? He can’t even work his phone properly”

“That’s because it has so much unnecessary stuff on it. Huuuunk, help me out. Please tell Pidge it’s okay to be technology illiterate”

“From what I hear, vampires don’t forget things. Sorry, bro. You’ve got no excuse”

Lance pouted, betrayed by his cinnamon roll and ridiculed by his anger muffin

“And here I was loving the pair of you. Coran, I take back all the nice things I said about them. Curtis, you and me. Us against the world?”

Curtis wore an expression so Shiro like that Shiro would have been proud

“Sorry, Lance. You are good friend and you’ve helped me immensely, despite my constant queries over your body and your heat. I’m happy to have met you, but yours isn’t the dick I want. You have Keith for that, though I do wish you’d accepted his physical help through your heats sooner. It would have made the changes you are going through quite a lot less painful. Though you two are quite loud mid coitus. I think I much prefer you two watching television than to think of you engaging anything sexual. No offence”

Lance choked on air. Curtis was the one who kept gifting him condoms and sex toys. He had a whole case of them waiting at home, never to be used without Keith. Pidge cackled

“Damn, dude. You got rejected without even aiming for it. For what it’s worth, Keith helped me understand that super senses aren’t that great when you can hear Matt having sex”

Lance groaned all the way to the depths of his soul

“Can we pleeeeeease stop talking about sex in front of Keith’s mother? Coran, help?”

“I guess we could discuss how hesitant you were to accept Keith as your boyfriend initially and that nasty...”

Lance was sure Coran was going to blab about the mercury incident

“Nope! No! You all suck! Everyone but Hunk is off my Christmas card list”

“Thanks, bro”

Lance couldn’t reach to fist bump Hunk, but he would have if he could have. The vampire was taking it slowly, Hunk not like Pidge and her weirdly easy acceptance. That’s why they’d played with Kosmo without talking all that much, trying to show Hunk he wasn’t any different than a human

“I’ve got you, fam. I’ll be sending one to Shay too. Oh, have you guys been to my house lately? I’m worried about the roses”

“If you’re that worried, you should just come back home already”

Lance couldn’t hide his surprise

“You want me back there?”

Okay. So they’d taken it well, but he was kind of like an inmate here. At the end of the night, they knew the big bad vampire was all tucked up safe and sound below ground. Plus, Pidge had gotten the scare of her life the last time they’d been at the house. His poor gremlin had had so much to process. She was still processing, despite how brave she was being. Plus, there was this whole “her parents knew” thing that needed to be worked out. What he needed was a double who could be there with Pidge and Hunk, helping them work things out, while he was also with Keith... who was currently mad at him. Super mad if Lance had to hazard a guess. He hoped Shiro would get through to his boyfriend...

“No. I just thought I’d mention it. Actually, I did think of burning it down, but you weren’t home”

Lance sighed. She would have done it... and Keith would have lost his boyfriend the same way he’d lost his father

“Pidge, I know you’re serious, but please don’t ever say that in front of Keith. His father died in a house fire and he’s still really hurt by it. Don’t like bring it up”

“Oh, fuck! Krolia, I am so sorry!”

Krolia sipped her tea, looking uncomfortable as she did. Two very long moments before Pidge “whispered” for support

“Laaaance...”

Pidge didn’t know how to “Krolia”. Lance didn’t either. He didn’t get a bad vibe from her... but... she’d held the gun knowing they didn’t know it was loaded with rubber bullets

“You didn’t know. Keith and I have talked more than you guys have talked, so i guess I have inside knowledge”

Pidge nodded, her voice definitely quieter than her normal perky tone

“I’m glad he didn’t hear me. He still likes us right? I mean, he was talking to us, so we’re still friends?”

“He missed you guys. Honestly, he’s the one who thought one day you might talk to me again... I just thought... we’d never be friends again. I get it. If this is all like too weird. You can walk away... I’m like... really fucking weird”

Friends like family... but his siblings hadn’t handled him well at all

“You’re also proof vampires exist... and I’m still getting used to it. Maybe no sleep overs just yet?”

Because they didn’t trust be alone near him. Ugh. That hurt worse than his shoulder. He was getting teary now. This own feelings of abandonment deciding to be stupid

“That’s fine. I do get it. As long as you guys are safe, that’s all I care about. I feel super rude, but I might head down to my room and nap off the pain. Will you guys be alright getting home?”

“Yeah. You’re totally rude, but you’re going to message us later so it’s fine. We did... we did miss you. I just... it’s still a lot”

“Pidgeon, I promise I get it. Hunk, sunshine of my life, I’ll be talking to you later. Uh... nice to meet you Krolia, and I’ll see you later Coran. Curtis... don’t think I won’t forget to forget you dumping me”

Lance felt less than adult like as he left the conference room. He was pulling a Keith, feeling too emotionally compromised so removing himself from the situation. He could tell himself he wasn’t like this, but that’d be lying. He was always like this, always destined to feel on the outside.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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