#trying to post this at a british-friendly time to get some spread lol
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To be clear, I'm only counting the standard Walkers flavours here. No Sensations or any of that fanciness.
For the record, there's one flavour on here (which shall remain nameless) that in my experience is substantially less common and popular than the others. I don't feel like it even deserves to be included hgdsdfg, but I just took the current main flavour list from the official Walkers website, so don't blame me for daring to add an option for that and not your fave!
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Druids ain’t shit and here’s why.
Straight from the Pond- here’s a lesson from your friendly neighborhood historian.
It’s a long post so the history lesson is under the cut.
Druidic “history” (or pseudohistory rather) actually begins with early renaissance politics.
Basically Italy is dominating politics and religion by being able to call back to an ancient history that led directly into the formation of the centralized Catholic church. Surprising nobody who's familiar with European history- the German states want in on that action but they don't really have that direct line linking them to antiquity beyond their conquering by Rome- so, like any good 15th century academics, they create that link by just making shit up.
So they look back at ancient roman writings, and see mention of druids, and also realize that they actually don't know fuck all about them, there's no records of them beyond a few classical authors- and for the record, classical authors are NOTORIOUSLY unreliable, there are entire graduate level seminars dedicated to teaching people how to read through ancient Roman propaganda, almost every druid I have ever met has taken classical authors at face value, anyway I digress, they just start making up a history of the druids, German lands used to be populated by Celts, and they create these mystical druids who serve as the direct precursor to The Church in these areas, like they forge documents and everything so when Italy goes "oh yeah since when?" they have something to hold up as a "gotcha" - they fashion statues and hide them in crypts as further evidence. It’s wild.
So, France sees that the German states are becoming more politically popular within the HRE (Holy Roman Empire) because of these druid stories, and so they go "Hey Celts used to live in France too... we should have druids"- and they create druid stories. Scotland at the time is very close with France politically and they go "Hey us too, we're still Celts,” and then it spreads to Wales, and then England. Ireland is mostly staying out of druid nonsense- like in this period of the OG pseudohistories Ireland is like "this is disgusting we don't want druids" so like all the writings in Ireland in this period on druids are like "yeah the Church HATES druids"
Things quiet down for a little bit, because the stories are established, the cards have been played, whatever, but then Neo-Classicism and the Enlightenment- and now suddenly it's cool to have ancient history again - but like... Britain has "we got conquered by Rome" or "hey a few centuries ago people were saying we had druids?”; so naturally the more nationalistic go with druids....which is how we get, Iolo Morganweg. Iolo's real name is Edward Williams but he insisted on going by his "bardic name"- bc druids. Williams was a Welsh antiquarian- who is in some scholastic circles considered the father of “modern” druidry. Williams literally named his son Taliesin after the bardic poet behind the Poems of Taliesin which is frequently in association with the Mabinogi in Brythonic texts. To pull from the wiki on this asshole:
[he made] claims that ancient Druidic tradition had survived the Roman conquest, the conversion of the populace to Christianity, the persecution of bards under King Edward I, and other adversities. His forgeries develop an elaborate mystical philosophy, which he claimed as a direct continuation of ancient Druidic practice. Williams's reportedly heavy use of laudanum may have been a contributing factor
Yeah.... just... yeah. So not only did he forge like hella documents, which today in the 21st century, over 100 years after he was revealed as a fraud, are still more popular than the originals- but he also is the reason that ogham is like that. Williams created a ‘bardic alphabet’ based on combining Scandinavian runes and extant ogham - we are still wading through his bullshit trying to fix ogham.
And this brings us to the Celtic Twilight......
To quote @liminalblessings, “And a bunch of noodle fuckers decide "hey, we didn't bastardize the Irish enough for the last however long.... We should do more of that."” But for those of you not familiar with the term, it's a nationalistic pan-Celtic movement that wanted to like, make the Celts in vogue again? but like their idea of the Celts as "noble savage” - because the modern era was scary. At this point, Pan-Celtic Nationalism is starting to rise as pushback against British colonialism in Celtic nations. Unfortunately it's heavily reliant on the Druid myth as like.... A foundational shared cultural history between the surviving Celtic nations. The point largely is, though, "look at us. We should all be sticking together because we're the same / cousins / brothers". Which leads to a L O T of Celtic culture from various countries kind of getting.... molded into one singular idea- which is USUALLY what we think of today when we think of Celts. Basically everything gets branded as Irish because the Irish were “pure” and a “separate racial identity” as opposed to the Scots and Welsh. It took that idea of a pan-Celtic singularity, and then went ham with it mostly on Irish pre-Christian stuff, and as it occurred not too long after Williams’ fuckery, it really cemented those forgeries and psuedohistories in the cultural memory. And Williams wasn’t exposed as a fraud until after the Celtic Twilight had died down.
Now... Yeats, we all know Yeats- some people recommend his writings for learning about the fairies. DO NOT LISTEN TO THOSE PEOPLE. Yeats makes up an entire tree calendar, and also files all Scottish fairy lore under the “Irish” tab because he’s part of the Celtic Twilight and didn’t you know that everything Celtic is actually Irish? Fuck this guy. #yeetyeats
Enter... Robert Graves- destroyer of histories and all around fuckwit. Graves maked up an ENTIRE religious notion around a mother goddess and shit. And like, the irony of that is the people he supposedly went to originally were like lol dude you're a fucking idiot none of this is real. But he published it anyways and of course it got taken seriously. And then there's a lot of reverse etymology at this point which is just.... really bad linguistics. And because of Graves’ white goddess + said bad linguistics by others, you get Danu.(Danu is a whole thing, please shoot me an ask if you want a post about all of that nonsense).
So.... Gerald Gardener.... to quote @liminalblessings again- “didn’t have a direct role in druidism, except he kind of did.” See, Gardner had a good friend who was hella interested in the Celtic twilight. Said friend was hella inspiried by Gardner's "recreation" of old British trad witch traditions... But he didn't jive with the old British trad witch traditions. HE jived with Irish Druidry. So while Gardner's doing HIS thing, his friend's doing the modern Druid thing- heavily drawing from Gardner's own work but "making it more historically Druid" Except, as you may have picked up- there is no such thing as “historically druid” that can be reconstructed. Basically he can only pull from Williams, but because he had issues with with the old 15th century on stuff, up to the Twilight era (despite those being his sources) so he tries to distance himself from the earlier movements and leans hella heavy into Gardner's work as a result. Which is, if you've ever wondered, why Wicca and Druidry have such incredibly similar ritual structures and beliefs.
SO, this guy starts the Druid Order, decides that he’s gonna like pull his teachings from Williams- but he's also gonna say that Williams has nothing to do with his druidry because y'know, Williams has relatively recently been revealed as a fraud. This guy goes through the grueling process of ripping off his best bud gardner founding Druidry, right. So The Druid Order has this rebranding in 1951, that lauds the “history of the druids” as written by Williams but simultaneously rejects Williams saying “yeah we have nothing whatsoever to do with that guy.” Mix into this narrative, Gardener’s “burning times” bullshit, and now not only do we have mythical pseudohistorical druids, but a rewrite of Williams’ “the druids survived conversion” which then turned into - “The druids were heavily persecuted by the church and survived a horrible burning times but despite this there’s a tradition of continuous druidic belief.” Here begins the bullshit known as “vestiges of pagan thought”- which took actual historians not even a decade to disprove, and yet still circulates in pagan circles, because nobody picks up a fucking book. Theoretical Folkloric archaeology became very popular at this time, which postulates (incorrectly) that all folk traditions and folklore absolutely stems from Pagan times and is 100% the Christianization of pagan practices and thoughts- which is not at all true. (Not-so-friendly reminder that Eostre? DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST. STOP FALLING FOR A JOKE MADE BY A MONK)
Td;lr so far- the druids went from
the Catholic clergy before the Catholics existed
to
a religious group that survived conversion
to
druids survived an intense and violent persecution
And now? In this our 21st century?
Well.... druidic organizations today tend to still push these ahistorical narratives, that buy into the pagan persecution complex.... and several of these organizations also have known racists and terfs on their recommended reading lists. And while some organizations have made attempts to become more historically accurate- but the end result is usually.... bad. It tends to result in them using a source from like 1960 that’s been disproven 1000 times since by other historians to go “look a historian agrees with us!” rather than like... keep up with current research trends and academic standards. Druids also tend to be hostile to the syncretism of the Irish church which is just..... so fucking dumb. Don’t worship gaelic deities if you can’t accept that our lore are Christian texts about pagan beliefs.
So yeah..... druids ain’t shit and I can prove it historically. I am also more than willing to send anyone links to full length books on the history of druids if you want to learn more.
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Pretty Little Liars 7x20 Til Death Do Us Part - Thoughts
I literally just finished watching the finale and A-List Wrap party right now. I have not seen a single comment about the finale, I don't know how it was received, at all. Sorry if these comments are just reinforcing what everyone else has been talking about for the past several hours, because again, I have no idea what everyone is saying. Here are my thoughts!
- It did not feel like a series finale to me and I cannot pinpoint why. I felt the goodbye scene at the end was not strong enough. Sasha said that they had to keep re-filming that scene because she was crying too much when she said “this feels like the end of something” - well, I think they went with the take that had not enough emotion, to the point it felt like a regular line and it lost its power. Not just this line, but in general, I never got a sense of “farewell PLL” from this episode, unfortunately. Not saying it’s a bad episode, but, I didn’t get that sense of “thank you and goodbye Spencer, Hanna, Aria, Emily, Alison and Rosewood”.
- Marlene said that there is one question she cannot wait for fans to find out, but she can’t tell us what this question is without telling us who AD is. What the hell could be this question?
- THEY ALL DID THE SHHHHH TOGETHER, I LOVED THAT
- DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE DURING THE INTRO THAT THE CASKET OPENED, RATHER THAN CLOSE???
- I’ve always said Pretty Little Liars is a two-part show: half a romance show, other half a mystery show. They really demonstrated that tonight, by having almost a very equal divide between the romance and mystery. The entire first hour was romance, and the entire second hour was mystery (plus farewells). The first hour, I was shaking my head. “This is not good. Not good at all.” Sure, there were some cute scenes, like Emison’s proposal, but there was too much fluff in the first half. The second half, it really kicked off.
- So, my theory ended up being so damn accurate, what the hell! I can't believe it! Even though Spencer’s twin was my foremost suspect going into the finale, I still ended up being shocked, because of the simple fact that they went with it almost exactly exactly exactly how I said! Not just the who, but also the why! I even got the name Alex Drake!
- Okay, so I got the part wrong about the twin having helped Charlotte play the game from season 3 onwards. And honestly, that is my biggest complaint about the finale: AD started playing the game after Charlotte died, period. Again this is my biggest complaint and this is where the finale fell flat for me. Technically, PLL could have ended with Charlotte’s reveal in 610. Everything we got with Alex Drake’s story, was purely an extension because we got renewed for more seasons. I just know there will be people saying “ugh I’m so mad that AD has no connection to pre-time jump” and yes I fully agree, and that’s my biggest complaint too... but my response is: weren't the extra 2 years nice? Sure AD is irrelevant to seasons 1-6A, sure that is incredibly underwhelming and no where near as good as the fan theories... but we got an extra 2 years of PLL in our lives because of this extra, final A story? I’m grateful? #alwayslookingforthepositiveside
- I do not understand Ashley’s comment. Quote “you finally get to find out who A is, who’s been torturing us for the last 7 years”. Girl... it was just a month or two, in Rosewood time.
- Am I the only one who never really felt a sense of danger, or intensity? Weird, since it’s the series finale, and literally anyone could’ve died. It’s not like we had another season, and I knew Spencer was safe from dying. Yet, I never truly did feel like Alex would win the fight. I can't take PLL villains seriously for some unexplainable reason.
- I really liked the flashbacks that explicitly showed us the scenes where “Spencer” was actually Alex. That was great. I wanted more flashbacks to earlier seasons, however. (I did appreciate that they played some music from the pilot, though!)
- THANK YOU MARLENE for not doing another Charlotte reveal where A sits around crying all episode, trying to make us feel sorry for them. Sure, Alex (nearly said Twincer!) had a sad story, but she embraced her sadness, and it fuelled her anger to take over Spencer’s life. That was really good. I loved seeing Troian walk around with an axe. Bless.
- I was surprised we didn’t hear of Radley (as a sanitarium). Honestly, thank god.
- I think the motive is the strongest we’ve ever had, of all the A’s so far: Alex was so jealous of Spencer so she wanted to break up the girls, yet her threats only made them closer. Therefore, she decided, “why break them up, if I can just become Spencer?” That is so evil and I love it.
- I EVEN CALLED IT that there will be a scene where someone holds a gun to Spencer and Twincer, and they have to prove who the real Spencer is. I LOVED that!
- I have a feeling that once I finish typing this, the first word I’ll be seeing people use to describe the motive is cliche. Especially the above mentioned scene about not knowing which Spencer to shoot. It is a bit cliche. (”I’m Buzz Lightyear!” ... “no, I’m Buzz Lightyear!” Toy Story 2.. anyone? That’s where my mind went, lol) An evil, jealous twin is a tad cliche. I can't defend that. But within this world of PLL, it worked well I guess.
- Sorry Troian, I wasn't too convinced by the British accent unfortunately. But my gosh you slayed the rest. WHY COULDN’T WE GET AT LEAST ONE SCENE WITH TROIAN IN THE HOODIE!? That was a real shame. I get that it was set one year later, but... still, Alex should’ve wore the hoodie for a scene or two. For satisfaction’s sake, and it’s also just iconic for PLL.
- SHOUTOUT TO A FOLLOWER OF MINE WHO MESSAGED ME AFTER THE AIRPORT SCENE IN 715 SAYING THAT TWINCER SOUNDED BRITISH. HOW DID YOU GET THAT PART TOO!? “Are you going someplace?” sounded very British, I agree, but I never picked it until I was told to listen for it. Genius.
- We even got it right as to who Wren was shooting: Twincer, so that she can look like Spencer. Gosh, is there anything we didn’t predict?
- Bethany who? Eddie who? Seriously though, I’m going to spend hours editing my unanswered questions list. We got a lot. You can say whatever you want about the finale, but you can't say we didn’t get answers. Like, c’mon. If you’re saying we didn’t get answers, you’re the type of person who complains over nothing and is just impossible to please. Every word that came out of Alex’s mouth was golden. We had rapid fire Q&A with Alex and Spencer. I’m not saying this finale answered 7 years worth of questions; I’ll probably find some unanswered things once I start going through my list. But... You. Can. Not. Say. We. Got. Zero. Answers. I hope that when I finish this post, I don't see people spreading such stupid negativity.
- Wren died? How? Why? That was unnecessary. This finale really lacked a major death. I wanted to say OMG to at least ONE thing, and unfortunately, I couldn't. Not one thing shocked me.
- Am I the only one who thought Wren’s involvement seemed a bit forced?? What are the actual odds of Wren running into Alex at a bar in London? Seriously? But whatever. I’m so glad he played a role in this, and a damn big one too.
- So ALEX was the British person Mary was talking to on the phone in 701!!!
- I loved the scene between Alex and Charlotte!!
- I found it really really random that Alex started messaging Mona 1 year later. They had just moved on and all of a sudden Alex is back to start to reveal herself. Maybe I’m forgetting something because that was just weird.
- I was disappointed that there wasn't a major reason Alex took Ezra. I was waiting for them to reveal a mind blowing alliance between the two but then it slowly became obvious that he had just been kidnapped and wasn’t on the friendly side with Alex.
- Melissa’s mask was just pointless. That was pure fan service to MelissA theorists. (And also to throw us off for a bit.) And I knew Melissa wasn’t AD since there’s no way they’d reveal Uber A so randomly at a picnic like that. I knew it was a mask.
- I got dollhouse vibes when Spencer (or Ezra?) said “we’re still underground”. I thought that was creepy!
- Seriously... they make reference to the mums getting out of the basement, without actually giving us an answer??? “Do you remember how we even got out of there?” said Veronica. It would’ve been better to leave that dialogue out completely. Teasing fans over something they’ll never get, is far worse than acting like it was just forgotten.
- Did Veronica know that Spencer has a twin, since she made a comment in 4B about not knowing who is coming down for breakfast; Spencer or her evil twin? They really made it out as if no one knew about Alex.
- Wren is the father of Emison’s baby!? That was so subtle, the way Alex said it. WHY!? That makes no sense. I’ve noticed that this show is really big on “who” but not so big on the “why”. I’m just going to assume that Wren was the only male she had “access” to, to pull off the stunt, so she used Wren simply out of convenience. That’s all I can think of.
- So Ezria got married, Haleb is having a baby, Emison is engaged with twins, and Spoby is??? I was really really shocked actually that one ship is still left up in the air. It’s not a sad ending, but it’s not happy either. Maybe that’s the one thing that doesn’t get answered that Marlene was talking about.
- That last scene with the recreation of ‘that night’ should NOT have been the last scene of the entire show. If Freeform wants to launch a spinoff, fine, go ahead, but how dare you cut to the end credits after that scene. Call me fussy, but I call it passion. The final scene of the show should have been Mary and Alex stuck in Mona’s dollhouse. Cut to the credits after that closeup on Alex (Which, was brilliant by the way, and aligns with Janel’s comment of Mona having her own unique happy ending.)
- The wrap party was boring. Just saying. It should’ve been the 6 liars (yes Mona too) with Marlene, sitting in Spencer’s barn, talking about the making of the finale, any questions that couldn't get wrapped up, favourite episodes, etc. I finished the finale and thought “it’s okay, I still have one more chance to farewell the show since the last scene didn’t do it for me!” and nope, this third hour was no better.
- FULL CIRCLE HOW??? Can someone name one thing that happened, that can be classified as “full circle”??? In my mind, full circle means Alison dying and the girls having a sleepover in the barn!?
- Overall, this is how I summarise the finale:
It did not feel like a finale. The first half was boring, even for a series finale. The goodbyes were not strong enough, and I did not feel like I properly said “thank you” and “farewell” to my favourite fictional characters ever. The scene with the girls at the end was far too short. The AD reveal was very predictable for me and other dedicated detectives, but I think other fans across the world will be pleased since it wasn’t actually that obvious. The motive was great. Troian slayed. But, coming from a person who also has a non-rhotic accent (Australian), I felt put off by Alex’s accent. The final scene was just stupid, I’m not watching a spinoff - the final scene should’ve been Mary and Alex. We got a shit ton of answers, but, as I’ll soon see when I go to my list, I don't feel like it was everything. But absolutely, most things, yes.
In 3 words: slow, predictable, fun.
Here’s my theory where I correctly solved Alex Drake
Here’s my farewell letter
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