#trying to post this again as well
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miss you (part 3)
please find the other parts via my masterlist or the #sh0ek0 tag, I'm having some trouble with my posts not showing up in the tags and I think the links are messing this up
genre: angst, smut, dark content, all over the place content warning: 18+ !MINORS + AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT! As I forgot to mention in part I + II: aged up characters OF COURSE (college setting), mentions of alcohol and drug use, name calling, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, violent behavior, emotional abuse, choking, dj!choso, rough!megumi, hints of narcissism, obvious mental problems, maddy and nate (euphoria) kinda dynamic, euphoria inspired dialogue, DARK CONTENT, I really donāt know how to do these content notes, Iām sorry, Iām trying pairing: Choso x Reader, Megumi x Reader (kinda???) word count: about 10k
recommended songs: Miss You - Southstar / Say Yes To Heaven - Lana Del Rey (sim0ne & Melo Nada Remix) / Search & Rescue - Drake / Teenage Fever - Drake / Star67 - Drake
Everything just felt so wrong. It was so hot down here and you were constantly bumping into people. The alcohol in your blood was making you dizzy with every step you took through the crowd and it was definitely messing with your sense of balance. You felt kind of nervous, but it was your own fault.
You were the one who hid in your bed for a whole week, your anxiety now at an all-time high.Ā
And you were the one who accepted all those drinks that Yuji had mixed for you upstairs.
However, those drinks seemed to fulfil their promise of freeing you from your inner torment, and as soon as the people around you were starting to look a little blurry, you start to move to the loud music blaring from the speakers.
I don't ever wanna see you / And I never wanna meet you again / One thing / When you're angry, you're a jerk / And then you treat me like I'm worth nothin'
"This track goes so hard."Ā
You open your eyes as you hear a familiar voice screaming in your ear. You see Nobara grinning from ear to ear as she dances to the music, the parts of her body that are not covered were glistening with sweat as the fluorescent lights hit her skin. She looked so damn beautiful.
How much you loved your friends.
This time it was Maki who dragged Nobara and you along with her to a house party off campus so the three of you found yourself in some guys huge basement, loud techno music blasting from the speakers and lots of sweaty people pressing up against each other. It was hot and completely dark except for a few neon lights that made it possible to at least distinguish a few faces.Ā
Not a single person down here seemed to be in any real control of their senses anymore, most of them were completely out of it already, while you could only imagine what kind of drugs they had in their systems by now. But hey, it was none of your business and you wouldn't judge, so the only thing that mattered was that the three of you were having a fantastic time.
I don't ever wanna see you / And I never wanna meet you again / Itāll happen again / I watch it happen over and over again
Another thing that brought you down here to this shady basement was a rumor that this new DJ was doing a pretty good job. And you knew he was pretty cute too - from where you were standing you could see his face hidden behind a MacBook screen, his hands effortlessly dancing across the array of buttons, knobs and sliders in front of him. Watching him, his body moving in sync with the music, his head bobbing as he worked his magic, you couldn't help but notice how good he looked. His lip was visibly split from last weekend's events and the pale hint of a black eye still marked his skin, but if you were being honest, it made him look even hotter.
You find yourself staring in his direction for a second too long and before you can look away, his eyes lock with yours and you see the realization in them just seconds later.
You feel a jolt of electricity run through your veins as your eyes lock.
Choso turns his eyes back to the DJ set in front of him a few times, but each time he looks up, you can feel him searching for you in the crowd. You can feel his gaze sticking to you like the bodies of Nobara and Maki who were dancing near you.
The heat around you envelops you like a suffocating blanket, while the bass pounds through the walls, pulsing in your chest and guiding your movements.
Don't try to find me / Iām better left alone than in this / It doesn't surprise me / Do you really think that I could care? / If you really don't like me / Find somebody else, it could be anyone else out there
The next time you turn in his direction, it was you who sought his gaze, flashing him a mischievous grin as your eyes locked again.Ā
Choso raises an eyebrow, but the grin on his lips gives him away. He winks at you, and as you continue to watch, you notice him smiling to himself as his hands skillfully move over the equipment, fading the old track into a new one. A few people immediately start to cheer.
Say yes to Heaven / Say yes to me / If you dance Iāll dance / d-dance / Iāve got my eye on you / you / you / you
The moment you recognise the song, a squeal escapes your lips. Your hips sway effortlessly from side to side, perfectly in sync with the rhythm. Nobara has her arms loosely wrapped around your neck, joining in and mirroring your every move.Ā
Choso knew you loved this song.Ā
You fell in love with it the first time you both heard it. That was a few weeks ago in his and Yuji's apartment, you were talking about music and you told him that you absolutely adored Lana Del Rey. It seems that he didn't forget that, because he mixed the song into something completely different, but just as beautiful.
You couldn't help but think that it felt like he'd done that for you.Ā
But did he?
Either way, he's managed to sweep you off your feet with a little gesture like that, and you can't remember the last time a man did that for you.
It feels like hours have passed before you realise that another DJ has taken over. As the current track slowly fades out into a new one, you notice how the vibe changes and most of the people who came for something with more bpm start to leave to go back upstairs.
Nobara grabs your hand and pulls you with her, Maki follows.
"Hey, I like that songā", you protest but Nobara and Maki were on a mission to get some fresh air.Ā
You notice how fast your heart was beating as the three of you make your way to the stairs, the pounding music slowly fading into the background.
"That was so good," Nobara sighs and you nod in agreement, still dizzy from all the sensations around you that your drunken brain was having trouble processing, "Choso did a damn good job, I didn't even know he could do that."
"Neither did I," you add, leaning down to take a sip from the straw in Maki's drink, "but he has skilled hands, so it makes sense."
"Oh shut up," Maki groans and you take the drink from her. You couldn't really tell what was in it, but you've reached a point where everything tastes the same to you anyway.
"I still don't understand why those idiots prefer to stay upstairs with Gojo and Getou and play beer pong," Nobara sneers, making you laugh. She was so right.
"Well, they missed a healing experience," you say, staying close to the two girls while more and more people leave the basement, "I thought all I needed was some random guy to fuck me in the bathroom to get Megumi out of my head, but actually this was just as good."
Nobara turns around and stares at you in shock as you take a sip of the unknown drink, causing you both to burst out laughing.Ā
"A win is a win, I guess," she says and you high-five her.Ā
"I'm actually so proud of you," Maki says, nudging your side before wrapping her arm around your waist.
You were surprised at how easy it was for you to talk about him. You hadn't heard from him in well over a week, and you weren't about to keep feeding your own delusion by telling yourself thatĀ that hookup in his car was enough to rekindle your relationship. The two of you were over, and not just since he had dropped you off at your apartment at 4am last weekend. Those had been empty words, everything he had said to you that night. You had lied to yourself, thinking you could change his mind by having sex with him. He hadn't even waited until you were safely inside, instead you heard his tires squealing right after you slammed the door of his car shut.
"Who says you can't have both?" a deep voice whispers in your ear, snapping you out of your thoughts.
Well, that was embarrassing.
You immediately recognise his voice.Ā
Maki and Nobara start to giggle while you just freeze. They couldn't possibly have understood what he was saying at this volume, but the suggestiveness in his voice was enough to make you blush.
You turn and look up at Choso, who was looking back at you with a smirk on his lips. Up close, he looked even more battered than before, but you refrain from saying anything. An apology wouldn't help him and Megumi didn't look too good either.
He hugs you briefly, his hand remaining on your lower back even after you pulled away.
"Your set was great," you say, suddenly feeling a bit shy. Even though you meant it, you just wanted to fill the awkward silence. The fact that Maki and Nobara were standing right behind you didn't help, and Choso caught you so off guard that you didn't really know what to say or do.Ā
In the end, overthinking was what you did best.
Choso smiles at your comment and you catch his eyes roaming over your body for a second.Ā
"Thanks, I could see you enjoyed it," he replies, looking you straight in the eye.Ā
You can barely stand his gaze, your face could hardly get any redder and just as you open your mouth to say something, he clears his throat, his hand still on your back.
"Let's go upstairs, I need something to drink," he motions to Maki and Nobara to take the lead, "it's so damn hot down here."
"Oh, it really is," Nobara says, taking Maki's hand and dragging her through the crowd and up the stairs.
You and Choso follow, him being so gentle as he makes sure you don't bump into anyone, as you still have trouble walking a straight line in your knee high boots.
"Oh - careful," he says, catching you just before you could stumble up the stairs, "you know I'd do anything to get that goddamn asshole out of your head, but you really can't make me take advantage of a drunk girl."
Again, the words were only meant for you as you fell back against his chest, strong arms holding you, his hot breath brushing your neck, his lips just below your ear.Ā
He managed to get you up, and once you were both surrounded by even more people and loud music, you turn to face him.
"I might be drunk, but I'm not a girl," you say, looking at him challengingly.
"Oh," he laughs, "did I miss anything?" He looks at you for a moment, the grin never leaving his lips.
You just glare back at him.
"Fine, excuse me, ma'am," he says, making you giggle.
"But you are drunk," he observes.Ā
"Then let's get even more drunk together," you decide, taking his hand to lead him into the kitchen.Ā
"Sounds like a plan," Choso says, laughing, "Lead the way."
If you had turned around, you would have seen the adoration with which he looked at you. At that moment, he would have followed you anywhere.Ā
Maki was already sitting on the kitchen counter and Nobara was standing next to her, giggling at something she said. The two were drinking from red plastic cups when Yuta made his way over to them, waving at you.Ā
You wave back at him before you look around to see Yuji still mixing cocktails.
You and Choso push past some people to keep Yuji company, who hands you both two cups. Yuji grins as you taste his secret recipe and you immediately grimace. Right now you can definitely taste more than four different kinds of alcohol and that should be enough of a statement to make a final judgement about his creation
"I mean, it does itās job but please don't ever start bartending anywhere," you groan and take another sip.
"Yeah, listen to her," Choso says, but he empties his drink before you do.
"Hey, don't hurt me like that," Yuji protests, "you weren't complaining earlier, though."Ā
"Well yeah," you say, "But I don't take any responsibility for the fact that you had the plan to get me drunk."
"Oh, I would never do such things," the pink-haired boy says, pouring another cup for Choso before changing the subject.
"My brother was doinā a pretty good job down there in that basement, huh?"
"Yes, he definitely was," you gush as he reminds you, "but where were you? You missed something."
"Oh, I didn't," he replies, "I was right next to him, watching all the magic happen right in front of me."
"Really?" The music changes and you had to shout over it.
"Yeah, but I guess you only had eyes for someone else," Yuji grins, making you blush.
You sip from your cup, cheeks red and the grin still on your lips, but you don't say anything, instead looking up at Choso.Ā
"I'm going outside for a smoke, join me if you want," he says in a low voice, letting go of your hand, only now realising that you've been holding it the whole time.
You nod and watch him until he disappears through the kitchen door and out onto the patio. You see him join Gojo and Getou who had been sitting outside with Hakari, Kirara, Nanami and Haibara for a while. Before Choso could even sit down, Hakari was already holding a joint out to him.
Yuji snaps you out of your thoughts and you take another sip of your drink.
"Hey, what's going on, huh?"
You weren't sure what he was hinting at.
"What?" you ask, trying to concentrate on what he is saying.
"You and my brother," he replies, getting straight to the point, "what's going on with you two?"
"I don't know," you say, not even lying, "nothing? Something? I don't think I can say."
"Mhm," Yuji pauses and looks around before turning back to you, "Megumi's here tonight, I saw him earlier."
"Great," you say and put down your cup, "I don't care."
"I think I've heard that before," he sighs while looking at you with worry in his eyes.
"Yeah, well, I don't really care," you say, slightly disappointed, "he doesn't care about me either."
"I doubt that," Yuji tells you, without specifying what exactly he doubted.Ā
You lean against the counter next to him and watch the people standing around in the kitchen. Most of them were talking, shouting at each other over the loud music, dancing or laughing.
You had already drunk a lot and no decision you would make now would be a good one. Your senses were far too clouded for that, but you needed that kind of ease, you wanted to turn off your racing thoughts. So you didn't have too many options, either you could bang your head against the wall to stop thinking about him, orā¦
"Let's do some shots," you suggest, almost immediately hearing Yuji groan. You grab a bottle of tequila from the bar and pour yourself and Yuji two glasses.
"What about lemon or salt?", Yuji protests, but you just clink glasses with him.
"What an amateur," you retort, raising the glass to your lips, downing the contents and immediately refilling it, "works just fine without it."
"I hate you," you hear Yuji groan as he does the same, "this is fucking disgusting."
You both start to laugh at Yuji's disgusted expression. The tequila burns as it runs down your throat and you realize just how much you overdid it already.
But wasn't that half the fun? You always had the best nights when you and Maki would stumble into your apartment early in the morning, still completely drunk, with Yuta struggling to somehow try and get you two into your beds.
You start to refill your glasses when Yuji puts the half-empty bottle aside and looks at you with that worried look on his face. Before you can protest or tell him off for looking at you like that, someone else catches your attention.
That couldnāt be.
"Oh, he wouldn't do thatā¦", you say under your breath, completely in disbelief, "that fucking..."Ā
Yuji holds you by your wrist. The two of you just stand there and watch as Megumi stumbles into the kitchen.
He was holding the hand of a blonde stranger. A stranger, at least until she turns around and sits down on the kitchen island in the middle of the room. You see Maki and Nobara turn to them as well, with Yuta looking at you instead.
You recognize the blonde girl right away.
And just when you think this scene couldn't get any more absurd, you watch as Megumi kisses Yue. Yue, the girl from the party last weekend, the one who went to the same class as you. The girl who tried to stop you from looking for Megumi.Ā
The girl who was so "worried" about you.
"What the fuck," you curse, trying to free yourself from Yuji's grip, "I'm going to fucking claw her eyes out, I fucking mean it."
Yuji was the only one who could hear you, loud music was still blaring from several speakers throughout the house.
"Am I fucking dreaming?" you yell over the music, "fucking let me go Yuji, I'm gonna..."
"That's his ex-girlfriend." Yuji says. Nothing else, just 'Thatās his ex-girlfriend.
Ex-girlfriend?
"I saw him talking to her right after he tried to beat up Choso," he adds.
He didnāt. That couldnāt beā
"No, he..." That couldnāt be true.
"I saw his car outside her dorm the morning after the party when I was walking over to football practice."
It took you a moment to process this information.
"He didn't..." You wanted to throw up. Maybe it was just the tequila, but there was still the tiny chance that this bizarre scene was to blame for you suddenly feeling sick to your stomach.
"Get a fucking room, you disgusting piece of shit." You hear Nobara screaming over the music while Megumi and Yue were tightly entwined, standing right in the middle of the fucking room.
You were still standing next to Yuji, leaning against the kitchen counter and if looks could kill, the two of them would probably have turned to dust by now. You stared at Megumi, watching him as his hands wandered up her thighs and ass, caressing her waist while they made out as if they were the only people in the room.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, your eyes met.Ā
You could swear he was looking you straight in the eye as his lips trailed down her neck. His eyes were as dark as ever, almost pitch black, and if you were being honest you couldn't be sure if he was just drunk or if he took something else. Even by his standards, the show he was putting on was truly out of character
If that was one of his sick fucking games he liked to play he definitely did not give you a heads-up. What was he trying? Getting back at you for last weekend? What was he trying to achieve? And Yue was his ex-girlfriend? How come you're only finding out now, and how did she have the audacity to even look you in the eye last weekend, let alone try to comfort you?
"You donāt threaten someone you love with a gun."
Well, good for her that he was obviously treating her completely fucking different.
He seemed unfazed by Nobara's comment, and after your brief eye contact, he closed his eyes again, focusing entirely on the blonde in front of him.Ā
You were almost boiling with rage and the faces you made, made it really difficult to hide your anger.
"Let go of me," you say again with such emphasis that Yuji actually let go of your wrist.
"Don't do anything stupid," he says, clearly overwhelmed by the situation.
"Oh, I would never." Your voice dripped with sarcasm.
'Donāt do anything stupid.' - You didn't even know what to do. For a moment you thought about going up to Yue and ripping out her ugly blonde extensions and telling Megumi how pathetic he was, but instead you did...
Nothing.
You gave Nobara and Maki a quick look, then turned on your heel and stormed out the kitchen door. The cool night air helped you to calm down and it managed to clear the chaos in your head a little.
You take a quick look around before you realize that Choso is still sitting outside with the others, who have spread out over the various seating areas on the patio.
You walk over to them with a determined stride, Kirara sees you from afar and greets you, causing Choso to turn around in your direction. He was sitting comfortably in a two-seater and as he looked at you, you immediately notice his heavy eyelids and dark red eyes. You smile at him and as soon as he realizes it was you, a wide grin appears on his lips.
He makes some room for you, but before he could move to the side you were already sitting next to him, leaning against him, your legs casually stretched across his lap. Not averse to the sudden physical contact, he puts his arm, which had been resting on the back of the two-seater, around your waist and his other hand on your thigh.
"Hi," he says quietly, "what took you so long?"
"Oh, you wouldn't believe me," you whisper back, "your brother really hates tequila and I felt bad for making him do shots with me."
Choso laughs, not asking any more questions.Ā
"But Iām here now," you say, placing a hand on his chest, "guess I missed you."
"Did you smoke already?", you tease, looking up at him.
"Well, do I look like it?", he asks, that big grin not leaving his lips.
"Mhm, couldnāt tell," you lie while trying your best to hide your feelings from him.
You turn to look at the others and notice that Kirara is watching you. Gojo also looks at you from time to time, his gaze wandering from Choso's hand on your thigh to your hand on his chest. He raises an eyebrow, but you ignore him.
"Hi, y/n," Kirara says with a warm smile on their lips, "how are you? I missed you in class this week."
You could feel that they was really just concerned about you. After all, Kirara had been at the party last weekend as well.
"Yes, I'm better, I think," you answer and try to fake a smile, "Thanks for asking.
Kirara smiles at you again, "I can send you all the important stuff we did. It's not much though."
You watch as Hakari pulls them closer to him, his large body making them look so much smaller in comparison. Hakari and Kirara were one of your two favourite couples, the other one being Yuta and Maki, of course. He adored Kirara and wasnāt afraid to show that every chance he got.
You hear Getou clear his throat and you turn your gaze away from the two to look at him. You see that he is holding a joint out to you.
"You want some?", he asks and you politely decline.
"Oh, no, I think I need to chill for a bit." You smile at him. Your head was already spinning and you couldn't handle the sensation of another drug right now.
"Come on, you've got to try it, Hakari brought the good stuff," Gojo says, making you think for a moment before you reach out for Getou's hand.
"You're so easy to convince," you hear Gojo snort. He grins at you as you take a drag, but you just stick out your tongue.
"Or, maybe youāre just really convincing," you tell him, taking another drag before passing it to Choso.
"I'll remind you who's easy later tonight," Getou says, coming to your defence. You and the others break into laughter at his comment and watch as Gojo crosses his arms over his chest.
You hear the two of them start bickering and notice that the others, Hakari, Kirara, Nanami and Haibara, were also returning to their heated conversation.
"Did something happen in there?", Choso asks a little while later. He was observant even when he wasn't. Of course he had noticed something. You sigh, Hakari has just handed you the joint again and you hold it between your fingers. You take a drag, then a second one.
"Yeah," you say, blowing out thick, white smoke, "but I really just want to forget about it."Ā
It had already worked. Since you went outside, you had pushed the thought of Megumi and Yue far away from you. It was all so confusing, this time you couldn't understand what his motive could be. Of course he was angry that you had made out with Choso at the party last weekend, but you two had broken up. Why had he waited for you that night in the first place, was he really so shallow that all he wanted from you was sex? And what did he need you for anyway if he had spent the night with her after he dropped you off?Ā
The look he gave you earlier had been intentional. He wanted to make sure you were watching him, no doubt about that.
"It doesn't seem to be working very well," Choso says as you rest your head on the arm he has wrapped around you. You look up at him as your hand moves to caress his cheek for a moment but as soon as you notice, you pull it back. Even though Choso doesn't seem to mind. It just felt natural, you wanted to touch him as you enjoyed the feel of his hand on your skin as well.
"Being with you helps," you say, without breaking eye contact. That was the truth. Being with him felt peaceful, you didn't have to be afraid that he would snap at any moment, at something you said or did.
You didn't even notice that Nanami and Haibara had already gone inside, presumably to leave the party. Only when Hakari puts out the joint and says goodbye to take Kirara home, you look away from Choso to look at the others.Ā
Gojo does not make any effort to leave until Getou gets up, standing next to Gojo and looking at him expectantly.
"Come on, Satoru," you hear Getou say, "it's almost two o'clock, we have training tomorrow."
"Yes, but not until ten," the man with the white hair replies, not understanding why he should move now. Getou gives him a meaningful look and Gojo's eyes widen as he rose to his feet.
"Oh, uh - let's see what's going on inside then, I guess," he says, propping himself up on his knees to get out of the chair he was sitting in, "see you guys."Ā
Getou waves goodbye before pushing Gojo in front of him towards the patio door.
Youāre all alone now, besides a few people standing outside and talking. You admire the night sky for a moment while neither of you says a word. Itās so quiet outside, peaceful even.
"Just the two of us, huh?", you say as you look up at Choso. You think for another moment but then, before he's has a chance to even say anything, you kiss him.
Choso wasnāt exactly surprised and instead kissed you back. His hand, which had just rested on your thigh, moved a little further up until it cupped your ass, moving up under your tiny skirt in a swift motion.Ā
You put your hand on his chest to support yourself and Choso pulls away for a brief moment.Ā
"You're so beautiful," he mutters, looking down at you through heavy eyelids and making you giggle, "I missed you."Ā
Then, your lips meet again. You move to straddle his lap, now sitting on top of him you were the one looking down at him. Ā
"Youāre not so bad yourself, yāknow," you whisper into his ear as you cradle his face in your hands, your thumb gently caressing the split in his lip.
When he said he missed you, you knew what he meant.Ā
Because you did, too.
Last weekend wasn't the first time you two had kissed. When Megumi had broken up with you, Maki had to study for some important exams and you had forbidden her from rotting with you in your depression cave. To make it easier for her, you had taken yourself out for a few evenings to Yujiās place. He welcomed you with open arms in his new apartment, which he had just moved into with his brother. This was also the first time you got to know Choso properly, away from parties or those few casual encounters on campus.
It started innocently enough, your movie nights, the two of them watching every romcom with you that you had picked out beforehand. However, Yuji usually had training the next day, so he had to go to bed early. Choso promised to drive you home later, and as soon as Yuji disappeared into his room, you moved on to other things. He showed you some new songs, and sometimes a friendĀ of his would come over and Choso would sell him some weed.Ā
And at the end of the night you would find yourself spread out on his black leather couch, with his head buried between your thighs.Ā
It became a habit until Maki's exams were done and she wanted to spend more time with you.
You were glad that the couch you were sitting on had its back to the window in the kitchen, protecting you from the prying eyes of those who went outside to smoke or enjoy the cool night air. As you climbed onto Choso's lap, your skirt had risen up quite high, almost to your waist but you were past the point of caring what others would think.
Youāre planting small kisses up his neck and jaw, watching him and how he enjoyed having you in his embrace. After a little while he pulls you into another kiss, this time youāre feeling exactly how hungry he was for you. You bite down on his bottom lip, hard, before you pull away for a moment to gasp for air. While you were grinding down on him, you could feel the thin fabric of your panties slowly getting coated with your slick as you were searching for some kind of friction.Ā
"How aboutā¦", you pause, while kissing his neck up to his earlobe, feeling him slowly but surely getting hard beneath you.
"How about we take this inside, maybe look for an empty room?", you finish your sentence.
You didn't have to ask twice before Choso had already grabbed you. He had one arm around your waist, his other hand digging into your hips while you let out a little squeal before wrapping your legs around his middle. He carried you a few steps until he gently set you down in front of the door into the kitchen.
"Youāre going to have to walk real close in front of me," he mutters into your ear as he turns you around to take the lead. You could feel how hard he was already as he was pressed up against you and you couldnāt help but giggle at his remark.Ā
"I promise theyāll be way too drunk to notice," you say, "but letās get inside and help you with that."Ā
***
"Shitā" You hear Choso curse under his breath as he was standing behind you, pumping his dick in his fist a few times before lining himself up with your entrance. He had you bent over the bathroom sink right in front of him, his other hand digging into the flesh of your hips, surely leaving bruises on your skin.
You hear a loud bang at the door, but decide to ignore it. The person could find another bathroom, you were sure the house was big enough to have a few other options. As the person knocks a second time, this time even louder than the first, you feel Choso getting impatient.
"What theā", he mutters, turning towards the door. "Fuck off," he shouts, getting distracted for just a second while you were so desperate for him to fuck you already. You scoot your ass back against him, feeling the leaking tip of his cock sliding through your dripping wet folds and turning his attention back to you.
"Hold - fuck - hold still," he groans before pushing you down with his hand on your back, holding you in place so you were unable to squirm under his touch.Ā
"How about you hurry up a bit?", you tease from underneath him, earning yourself a slap on your ass almost immediately. You jerk forward a little, not expecting him to do that, but enjoying the stinging sensation to your skin all the same.
You let out a small moan as he pulls you back up against his chest, cupping your breast with one hand while pinching your nipple, "Youāre in a hurry now, huh?", he groans and without giving you another heads-up, he pushes into you slowly.Ā
He was stretching you out already without even being all the way in, locking eyes with you in the mirror before bottoming out completely, letting out a loud groan as he did.
Choso watches as your lips formed an O, needy moans escaping your mouth while he is thrusting into your wet pussy at a devilishly slow pace. You could feel the perfect curve and every ridge of his dick, stretching you out so well before he pulls out almost entirely, just the tip prodding at your needy hole.
"Tell me what you want," he whispers into your ear, sending goosebumps all over your body. His hand squeezes your breasts and you moan at his request, his low voice going straight to your core, making you even wetter than you already were.
"Tell me, did you miss me?," he groans, not breaking eye contact with you, "did you miss my dick?" He plants kisses down your neck and before you could give him an answer he pushes into you again, picking up his pace this time. You cry out at the sudden sensation, the stretch making your eyes roll back while loud moans were falling from your lips.Ā
"I missā fuckā¦", you whine, "'missed you, 'missed your cock inside of me" You had to grab onto the edge of the sink, unable to form another thought besides how good it felt to have him bully his dick into you.Ā
"Pleaseā¦", you beg as he continues to fuck into you, holding your trembling body tight against his own.
He watches how your body reacts to him as he was pounding in and out of your pussy relentlessly, your walls squeezing down on his cock so hard he had to use everything he had to not cum into you right then and there.Ā
"Look at you," he moans right into your ear, "look at yourself taking this dick so fucking good."Ā
His hand that was just digging into the soft skin of your hips moves further down, his fingers meeting your slick just seconds after. His thumb starts drawing harsh circles on your clit, earningĀ him a few loud moans that fell from your lips.
"Fuckā Choso, right there, pleaā", you whine, eyes squinted shut, "please, 'wanna cum - fuckā donāt stop."Ā
"I said look at yourself," Choso groans into your ear as you suddenly feel him pulling his hand away, forcing you to obey him and open your eyes. You swallow at the reflection you see in the mirror in front of you.
You were already looking so fucked out, mascara smeared along your undereyes. Your tiny denim skirt was dangling around your waist and that high neck, sleeveless crop top was pulled up above your breasts, squeezing them together.Ā
"Good girl," he praises, pressing a kiss to your sticky temple while his fingertips continue to rub and pinch at your clit without any mercy. You cry out, louder than anticipated, and watch how tears start to prickle in the corners of your eyes.Ā
It was too much for you, you were barely able to contain yourself beneath him and you felt yourself getting tighter around him with every harsh thrust of his hips against your ass. Thank god the music outside was so loud, the heavy bass lining up with the lewd noises the both of you made.Ā
"Shit - youāre getting so fucking tight," he grunts before you hear low moans falling from his lips, "you wanna cum, pretty girl?"
All you can do is whine in response, as you already lost your ability to form meaningful sentences a while ago. "Iām gonna - gonnaā", you cry, brows knit together at the overwhelming feeling of him hitting your cervix over and over again.Ā
You watch how Choso stares at you through the reflection in the mirror, your body almost going limp as you feel your core tightening and the only thing you were being able to do was moan his name, again and again.
"Then cum for me, babygirl," he whispers, his fingertips circling your nipples and pinching your swollen clit while he fucks into your throbbing cunt, getting you closer and closer to your release, untilā¦
"There you go," Choso coos as he feels your walls pulsating around him. Your fingernails claw and scratch at the arm that he had wrapped around you, while you were trying to hold onto something, anythingā¦
Then your orgasm washes over you and it made your thighs shake almost immediately. Choso doesn't stop fucking you through your overwhelming peak, giving you no time to breathe until he finally cums into you as well, thick ropes of hot and sticky cum painting your pussy white whileĀ you had your eyes closed again and you hear him moan into your ear.
You lean back against his muscular chest as the two of you try to catch your breath, raspy moans and small whimpers fall from both of your mouths while neither of you was able to say anything.
You shiver as Choso slides out of you, goosebumps prickling across your body, before he turns you around and you open your eyes to look at him. Your cheeks were flushed and your legs almost too weak to stand on, but you manage to pull your top down, covering yourself up as Choso presses a kiss to your lips.Ā
He helps adjusting your skirt after you put your panties back on, stumbling against him as you were standing on one leg.
"Carefulā", he says and catches you, almost giving you a DĆ©jĆ vu.Ā
"You alway got my back, huh?", you ask playfully while youāre trying to fix your hair and makeup in the mirror.Ā
"Doing my best," he chuckles, pulling up his pants and putting on the hoodie he took off earlier. The shirt he was wearing underneath had stains at the bottom - well, his fault for not taking it off as well. "Letās get out before they break in the door."
You reach for your bag, now that you can stand in your knee-high boots without holding on to anything, and just as you are about to head for the door, Choso beats you to it.
He holds the door knob as he looks down at you.
"Hey, letās do that again sometime," he grins and brushes a strand of hair out of your face, "and text me if you want me to get you home."
"You're a gentleman after all," you say and take his hand, grinning as you stand on your tiptoes to give him another kiss on the cheek. "Actually, 'lemme just find Nobara and tell her Iām leaving, I wonāt be taking long," you mutter before pulling back.Ā
"Iāll wait outside for you," Choso says after the both of you have left the bathroom. Not a lot of people were still left and those who were, were not paying attention to the both of you. You feel him squeeze your hand once more before he lets go of it and disappears into the hallway.Ā
***
You try and make your way into the kitchen, as a familiar voice startles you.
"Stop using my brother to make him jealous," Yuji says, his voice unusually cold as he suddenly pulls up behind you.
You freeze and turn around, slowly.
"What?", you ask, not willing to believe what youāve just heard.Ā
"I'm sorry, y/n, but you heard me right," He was serious. Where had he suddenly come from? Had he seen or... heard you?Ā
"Itās not - itās not like that, I mean, I," you stammered, completely taken by surprise, "Iām not using Choso."
"Honestly, Y/N, I don't care what you say, I care about my brother, and all you've been doing lately is destroying yourself. You don't give a fuck about your friends, we're always here for you, and yet you go back to him every chance you get."
Ouch.
You could tell he was drunk. This was unusual for him, he was an athlete and although he liked to go to parties, he rarely drank alcohol himself, apart from a few shots for fun. And it took a lot to get Yuji drunk, you were speaking from experience.
The words that came out of Yuji's mouth hurt you. He was right, but none of your friends had called you out on your bullshit yet.
"I can't save you, Y/N. I've given up on that, but don't drag Choso into this. He has no bad intentions and he would actually treat you well, I know you don't want that." Yuji was so serious and you couldn't even argue with him because he was right.
"Your brother is a grown man," you reply coldly, not even able to look him directly in the eyes.
"Yeah, exactly, heās a man. Plus - he likes you."Ā
It wasn't as if you denied the way Choso looked at you with absolute adoration in his eyes. You knew he would move heaven and earth if you asked him for something, and even if he wasn't pushy, you could count on him. He was thoughtful and gentle, he knew what you liked and didn't like, and sex with him was fun, so what exactly were you missing?
"Listen, Yuji, this in none of your business," you say, trying your best to keep your calm, "I donāt need saving and your brother is perfectly capable of looking after himself, soā"
"Yeah, whatever," Yuji barks, taking a sip from the bottle in his hand that you only noticed now, "don't come back crying if he hits you again."
Wow.Ā
You watch him leave as you realize that you've never seen your best friend so upset. You take a step back, startled by the feel of the wall behind you. You feel your way along the cold wall, down the dimly lit hallway, not sure where you want to go, but you wanted to get away from here. Looking for a door to get out, you pass a few couples making out.Ā
You push down the door handles of a number of locked rooms and people coming towards you bumped into you. Some of them apologise, others look you up and down, whistling or shouting something at you, but your tunnel vision prevented you from noticing anything.Ā
You had your guard down while the things Yuji had said to you played over and over again in your head.Ā
Just as you reached the door at the end of the corridor, it was a glass door and you could see the starry night sky through it, someone slammed you hard into the wall. You were pushed into the chest of a much taller person who opened the door to your right with one hand and pushed you in with the other.Ā
"Heyā", you protested, but you had no chance. The man was much stronger than you and at least two heads taller. The familiar scent that rose to your nostrils as you were pressed against his chest set off alarm bells ringing in your head.Ā
And as you looked up, even the last doubts you naively had were erased.
"Megumiā¦", you gasp, and immediately try to get a few steps between the both of you. You hear him lock the door behind him and you instantly feel like a cornered animal. Your eyes scan the room for ways to escape, but unless you wanted to climb out the window, the door was the only way out.Ā
He looked you straight in the eye, all emotion gone from his face. It was obvious that you, on the other hand, were scared. You hadn't seen anyone outside and you were alone in some guest bedroom that was located in a part of the house where you couldnāt even hear anymore music playing. Ā
You clutched your bag and pulled your big leather jacket, which you had put on on the way out, tightly around you.
As if that would somehow protect you.
Megumi was still standing by the door, motionless. The grin on his lips never reached his eyes as he stared at you.
"I heard you were having fun in there," he says as you watch him closely.
Fuck.
"Yeah, and I want to leave now," you reply, trying your best to contain your voice, "why donāt you go back to Yue and leave me alone?"Ā
"Mhm." He seems like heās thinking about it for a moment. "I donāt think so."
You gather all your courage as you decide to walk towards him.
"Cut your bullshit, Megs," you demand, "let me out of here."
He grabs you roughly as you try to reach for the door, pushing you back into the room.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?", you hiss, not willing to hold back anymore.
"You show up here, with your ex-girlfriend, making out with her, in front of me, in front of all my friends, and when you don't get the reaction you want, you jump me?" You almost yell at him and he was still just standing there in front of you with no reaction.
"I'm not doing this anymore Megumi, this isn't one of your little games anymore," you add, on the verge of tears, "why are you doing this to me?"
"I'll do whatever I want to you," his voice was as calm as always, scaring the living shit out of you as he walks towards you.
"I don't care about Yue, she was just, well, there," he says, watching you closely, "I wanted to know if you meant any of what you were saying last weekend, but as soon as your cute ego gets hurt youāre letting the next best guy fuck you in the bathroom."
You feel tears prickling in your eyes, and your attempts to blink them away only cause them to trickle down your cheeks.
"Oh," he mocks you, "now youāre crying."Ā
"Fuck you," you hiss and wipe the tears from your face.Ā
When he was standing right in front of you, you could smell not only his familiar scent, but also the smell of alcohol as he spoke to you. He was tense, you could feel it, and in the darkness his eyes looked almost pitch black as he stared at you.
"Watch how you fucking talk to me," he says through clenched teeth, "just because you can't stand that you act like a fucking slut every time, just to get my attention."
What he said made you cry even more and you didn't bother trying to wipe off the tears anymore.
"I donāt wanna talk to you right now," you sob, but of course he doesnāt care what you want.
"But I wanna talk to you," he barks, grabbing you by your wrists as you try to shuffle away from him, "what is it about him that you go back for a second and a third, huh? Want me to beat him up for good this time?"
He was squeezing your wrists so hard that it hurt.Ā
"Iāll kill him if he ever touches you again," he spits, "you fucking dirty whore."
You weren't sure what hurt more, his words, or the way he twisted your arms to bring you closer to his face.
"Shut the fuck up and leave me alone," you manage to get out, "youāre pathetic, I donāt need you."
You try to break free of his grip a second time, only this time he lets go of you to push you away from him. He does this with such force that you lose your balance and stumble backwards into the bed frame, which was now right behind you. Ā
You land on the mattress and before you know it, you feel his hand clench around your throat, pulling you up to his eye level again. You have to stand on your tiptoes to take some of the pressure off your neck.
He didnāt squeeze much but it still hurt. His grip was strong as ever and you couldn't move, so you stayed still, hoping he wouldn't hurt you any more.
You grimaced in pain and tried to look him straight in the eye. Somehow he had to realize what he was doing, didn't he? He was delirious and that frightened you. You knew this kind of situation all too well and it made you freeze. There was nothing you could do about it, you could only beg him to stop or try and keep still.
"Megumi, please, Iām sorry, youāreā youāre right," you sob, cheeks wet with tears, "just let me go, pleaseā¦"
Suddenly you feel his hand tighten around your throat, but you don't realize it until he grabs youĀ by your neck and slams you right back into the mattress behind you, throwing you around like a rag doll. You have no time to react, you just feel a sharp pain as your head hits the headboard and then he finally presses down hard on your throat. You're helpless, gasping for air, barely able to process what he's just done.
"Youāre such a fucking whore, Y/N," he fumes, shaking you and pushing you even deeper into the mattress, "you deserve to get treated exactly like the little fucking slut you are."
You whimper and cry, while hearing the blood rushing through your ears as you struggle against his grip.
Panic rises in you and you feel your eyes begin to sting with more hot tears running down your cheeks. In your desperate struggle you feel your muscles ache and your body give in, the shock knocking the last bit of air out of your lungs and you can't breathe, you know you're about to pass out.
"Tell me again whoās pathetic?" His face was right next to yours as he whispered into your ear, his body hovering over yours.
You couldn't stop crying, even though you couldn't even make a sound. You were sure he was going to kill you this time.Ā
You had to fight back, but he was so much stronger than you.
"Megumiā¦", you groan.
"Iā I need toā", you cough, desperately trying to claw at his arms, "breatheā¦pleaseā¦stopā"
You cry and plead and try to free yourself, all while your strength slowly but surely leaves your body. And then, just milliseconds before you were about to lose consciousness, you feel the air flowing back into your lungs.Ā
You're so out of breath, coughing and choking and crying all at the same time, while your throat burns so badly, that for a moment you're not even sure he's really let you go.
The moment you realize that he pulls back to get up from the bed, you pull your legs towards you and crawl as far away from him as you can, putting your hands around your neck for protection, pulling the high-neck of your top up over the bruises that were probably already starting to form.Ā
You shake uncontrollably and can hardly stop crying, while he just stands there watching you for a moment. You wrap your arms around your legs, concentrating on your breathing as your body continues to shake.
Megumi stares at you, with a blank expression.
"You don't learn, y/n, you never do," he utters, completely zoning out, "Why do you never learn?"
He ignores your desperate crying and instead he turns around and leaves the room without another word to you.
And you again wonder if this was your fault.
***
"I'm so sorry," you say, standing behind Choso after you finally found your way out of the house. He was sitting on the steps outside the main entrance, a bottle of beer in his hand, waiting for you. You snuggle into your much too large jacket as you sit down next to him.
"You've been gone for half an eternity." Choso gently nudged into your side and you wince, barely noticeable.
"Nobara was throwing up downstairs," you lie, "I couldnāt leave her."
"Oh, really," he says, you couldn't know he'd seen her leave almost an hour ago, "poor girl, I hope she's feeling better now.
You say nothing, tugging at the high neckline of your top, your legs bouncing nervously.
Choso notices and puts a hand on your thigh. You flinch again and this time he feels it.
"Are you all right?", he asks worriedly, looking at you. Your long hair hides the bruises on your neck, but what it can't hide is your blank stare, your swollen lips and your red, watery eyes.
You nod.Ā
"Yeah, I'm just cold," you say, trying to smile. Your throat's still hurting when you speak.
He puts the bottle to the side and shuffles closer to you.Ā
The both of you were sitting on the stairs for a while, neither one of you saying a single word. Choso sensed that something must have happened, but what could he do? He knew you lied to him about Nobara, so he figured you wouldn't tell him anything he didn't want to hear.
"Sometimes I just want what they have, yāknow?", you sigh after a while and lean into Chosos side, resting your head on his shoulder for a moment.
"I know I will never find that kinda love."
You're talking about the scene that took place in front of you, a scene that caught your attention immediately. Yuta and Maki were about to leave the party together, and Maki was completely drunk. Yuta had his arm around her to manoeuvre her into the car. They both giggled while Maki tried to wrestle her boyfriend, making it harder than it had to be for the poor boy to get her home quickly.
As you look away, you notice that Yuji was sitting in the passengerās seat with the window down.
He was getting impatient, waiting for them to finally get into the car, and as he turned to see what was taking them so long, your eyes met briefly.Ā
You saw him open his mouth as if to say something, but then he noticed Choso sitting next to you and he immediately turned away.
He was still mad at you.
Yuta had finally made it and Maki was sitting safe and sound in the back seat. He planted a kiss on her forehead before gently closing the door behind her and walking around the car. You looked away but he caught you watching the scene and stopped for a moment, flashing you both a smile before he waved goodbye, got into the car and drove off.
"What do you mean?" you hear Choso's voice after you have sat in silence for another while. The car disappeared and you just stared into the distance, trying to find the right words.
"I don't know, there's just no...", you pause for a moment, thinking how pathetic you're going to sound, "there's just no darkness."
That's it. Everything about their relationship was genuine, they cared for each other. There was not a hint of jealousy, no one was trying to control or manipulate the other.
"It's just sweet, they're just... sweet," you swallow, feeling so vulnerable in that moment, "they don't hate each other, there's just so much love. I don't know if that would ever be enough for me. Doesn't it get boring?"
Once again, you feel tears welling up in your eyes.
"Sometimes it feels like I'm going crazy," you mumble.
None of you says a word after that. At some point, you lift your head from Choso's shoulder to look at him, almost as if you want him to say something.
"Youāre not," he says, his voice sounding determined.
"I mean, you're pretty fucked up, but you're not crazy." Choso pulls two cigarettes out of a pack and hands you one, lighting yours first. He stuffs the pack back into his jacket and takes a few puffs, immediately blowing the smoke out into the cool night air before turning back to you,
"I donāt fuck with insane chicks, learned my lesson."Ā
He nudges your side again to make sure you understand that he was joking, but you were already too far up in your head. You smoke your cigarette, breathing in the smoke as if it might bring you some kind of clarity.
"I think I'm going to get back together with him," you whisper, almost as if you don't want to hear what's coming out of your own mouth.
Choso does not answer.Ā
Of course he doesnāt.Ā
What was he supposed to say? He didn't know what exactly was going on between you and him, but at this point he knew that there was something, at least from his side. It was unfair of you to talk to him about it, of all people, and at the same time he knew that you couldn't talk to anyone else at the moment.
"Y/n, tell me, what do you want to hear fromā"Ā
You cut him off before he could finish his sentence.
"It's a mistake, right?"
"Don't do it, justā¦", he pauses and takes a drag, "don't do it."
"I don't know if I can help it," you tell him, sounding defeated.Ā
Inhaling, you feel what you had been blocking out all along. Your throat hurts. The cigarette smoke that keeps pouring into your lungs only makes it worse, and the sudden pain in your chest when you inhale too deeply makes you wince.
You knew that those bruises would form. Like splashes of blue and green paint they would cover your neck, spreading all around your throat.Ā
Choso doesnāt reply to this, either.Ā
His head was hanging low. Not because he was disappointed or pissed off that he wasnāt able to make another move on you tonight, but because he was afraid to lose you.Ā
Because he knew he couldnāt really do anything to save you.
"I wish you could see yourself the way I do or the rest of the world does, really," he sighs and pulls you in, wrapping his arm around your waist and letting you rest your head against his chest. He wanted to say so much more but he stopped himself before opening his mouth.Ā
He knew it wouldnāt change a thing.Ā
#trying to post this again as well#og post doesnt show up#fushiguro x reader#megumi x reader#choso smut#megumi fushiguro#choso kamo#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk fanart#choso x reader#megumi angst#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen angst#megumi fushiguro x reader#dark megumi#dark megumi fushiguro#sh0ek0
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small flash warning!!!
i made this video in like under two hours <333 enjoy <333333 it's been so long since ive made a proper shitpost
#okay trying this again#please tumblr let me post this please. this world needs to see it#my art#sun fnaf#fnaf sun#the daycare attendant#dca fandom#sundrop#sundrop fnaf#sun security breach#fnaf security breach#sun x y/n#WAIT I CAN TAG THIS AS MOON FNAF AS WELL#moon fnaf#fnaf moon#moondrop#moondrop fnaf#tuz this was done just for you#next staring contest <3#cw flashing#flash warning
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"feels like we could go on for forever this way.." (x)
#wooo new header for me <33#also back to skk posting i missed them sm#wanted to pratice some scenery and try a new style which simplifies my current one and focuses more on colors and painting#and i'm super happy with how it turned out i think i won#for forever fits skk so well it rly brings back the bittersweet memories of when they were once partners and each others halves#and it just feels reminiscent of days gone by and they were once so close but time and life their own decisions have torn them apart#ben platt's voice is so pretty i love this song sm i heard it for the first time again in years and was slammed by all the emotionsšš#i was so normal abt deh when it first came out i swear#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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TLT game night
#harrowhark nonagesimus#griddlehark#gideon nav#tlt shitposting#camilla hect#palamedes sextus#comic#i am once again just thinking of semi funny dialogue that kinda sounds like them and making a whole ass comic about it#putting them in situations#modern au#long post#needlessly long some may say#every time i post one of these sillay modern AU comics i always get nervous about how detached it is from the source material#OH WELL#i always try to play monopoly on my birthday every year i hope i get friends who will play with me SOON
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The art of the deal. The brick was so hard to draw for no reason. (Gangle canonically has a bodypillow and watches anime)
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tdac#tadc caine#kinger x caine#royalteeth#kingleader#tadc gangle#tadc zooble#im back guys!!!!#uploads might be slow but I'll try to release a comic strip tomorrow#though I dont have any saved up :[#Instead I might do a lot of small posts as well as doing some asks so I can open them back up again later
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mmmmm danny with sensory issues both in and out of his ghost forms, but on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Ghosts can't experience sensations the same way humans can when they're in the mortal realm. They're naturally intangible, and it takes energy to be physical. When they're physical, all touch feels the same barring the texture. They feel no heat, no chill. Sunlight passes through them, and so does wind and rain.
You know when your foot falls asleep/goes completely numb, and you go to touch it with your hand and it causes a strange jumble of sensations? You can feel the skin there, your palm is pressing against an object and there's resistance, pressure, but you can't feel the heat? It's kinda something like that. Like he's feeling everything through a set of gloves.
As a ghost, when it rains, he can feel the raindrops hitting him, and he can feel his hair getting wet, but he can't feel the chill of the water and he can't feel the wetness. His suit is soaked but there's no weight like there should be. During the winter snowflakes don't melt when they land on him, and he can't feel the chill of the snow when he gets buried under it.
Sunlight passes through him, a nice breeze ruffles his hair but there's no relief in the sensation. All pressure, no sensation. It's like a strange form of sensory deprivation. And of course, the internal things. It's even worse when he's intangible, when he's not putting energy into being physical. He doesn't feel real.
As human, things become too much. Especially when he's been a ghost for hours. He can feel the weight of his ribs pressing against his ribs, he becomes hyperaware of the expanding of his lungs when he breathes, the feeling of his heart pulsing in his chest.
He curls his fingers in and out slowly and becomes fascinated by the feeling of the joints moving. He turns and grabs Tucker's hand, and soaks in the warmth of his body heat -- he can't feel it as a ghost. He runs his fingers through his hair, and he can feel the individual strands.
There's a weight when he walks. A small drag when he bends his knee and lifts his leg and takes a step, and when he's been a ghost for too long he stumbles over himself, drags his feet along the floor and stomps when he doesn't mean to because he forgot to weigh his steps. Sometimes when it rains he goes out and sits on the front steps of the house just so he can come back in shivering and soaked through to the bone. Runs his fingers obsessively over the goosebumps up along his arms and legs because he can't get them as a ghost even if he's cold.
Because there are certain things, even when he's in the ghost zone, that are exclusive to the living. The little internal things you don't notice and take for granted. Things like breathing and goosebumps and exhaustion exclusive to running that makes your heart pound against your ribcage and your chest hurt with the need for air. Sore muscles from working out and sweating. Thirst and dry mouths, chapped lips and hands, blinking and dry eye, the feeling of the sun soaking into your skin on a nice summer's day.
As a ghost, Danny faces sensory issues in the form of not enough. When he can't feel the hair behind his ears or the weight in his limbs where there should be muscle, tissue, and bone. He can't feel the sun or the wind, everything is in a permeable state of 'just fine', and its maddening. He can breathe if he wants, but there's no point to it. He has no lungs, he can't feel them expand, and there's no relief behind it. He's going through the motions without any of the reward.
On those days, the idea of going ghost again makes him feel ill. Paranoid. He can't stand the thought. He needs to feel. He needs to feel the soft texture of the rug beneath his feet and the grooves in his knuckles, he needs to feel dirt crumble beneath his fingers and get stuck under his nails, he needs to feel the heat of his sister's hand and the feeling of body warmth passing from her to him. He lays on the carpet room and stretches out, and focuses on the feeling of his heart beating and the weight of his bones and muscles and tissue pinning him to the floor.
As a human, Danny faces sensory issues of too much. When all the things he's starving for suddenly make him sick. He feels trapped in his own skin. His ribs become a cage and breathing becomes a dumbbell that he can't put down. He can feel the hair along his arms and it rashes him. He's too cold, he's too hot. He feels like a ghost puppeteering its own corpse and he needs out.
On those days, Danny dips away when he can and goes ghost, and Sam and Tucker don't see him for the rest of the day. He's gone invisible, intangible, and he does nothing but exist.
Just, him experiencing sensory issues as both ghost and human, but in opposite directions from each other. And the idea that ghosts experience the mortal realm differently, and that there are certain things that are just exclusive sensations for the living that Danny doesn't realize until he's a halfa.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp ghost headcanons#dp headcanons#dpxdc#danny phantom headcanon#<- bc i originally thought of this for the blood blossom au except its generic enough of a headcanon that it also works as a standalone#but also i think dpxdc folks would get a kick out of this#but yeah danny realizing that there's SO much that the living have and experience that ghosts don't even in the infinite realms.#i imagine that when he overshadows someone he can re-experience a handful of those sensations like if he were living and suddenly#he understands really well why there are some ghosts who come thru the portal that almost exclusively overshadow people. Or try to.#The mock feeling of being alive again must be *addicting* to some of them. Because he knows it is for him when being a ghost is too much#not a lot of extra tags today folks i got everything i needed to say out into the post :]
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polymer broadcast signal hijack
#pikmin#captain olimar#ft. louie captain shepherd and collin#as well as#moss (pikmin)#watched a stream series of pikmin 4 (its frankenbugs' series) thats what this is about really#but mostly. I just love olimar. I just really enjoy that man#also this really got me flexing those bande dessinƩe muscles from back thens lol#Ive missed drawin with this kinda proportions... I should do it more#Im gonna draw an olimar to put in my wallet. I need to make my life harder to explain to strangers#I also wanna. add more details to his space suit. make it look more like real life space suit for fun & entertainment#man I enjoy the animals in pikmin so much. they really are just like. animals. theyre animals#its great I love how genuinely bug-lookin the bugs are even with the stylization. pikmin and pokemon are really good at that#would like to learn how to do that... sometimes in the future#oh yeah fun fact. my effort at cleaning up my undercut a few days ago went badly. right before I went to a family reunion thing for 2 days#so I was goin out of my mind at that event postin abt olimar bc I love him#and then. when I got home. I decided to shave my head instead of trying to fix the haircut again#and so the sequence of events becomes I post about olimar -> I enter my bald arc#I am okay with this. have a good night lads. binding books is actually really fun u should try it
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some business to take care of
#i was tempted to caption this as she was a skater boy and she was also another skater boy but#duck scribbles#midoyuzu#enstars#whats up guys im being embarrassing again on main#been wanting a new phone wallpaper and this was born. its the lesbian version though im not showing that#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#yuzumido#ensemble stars#also have additional doodles that r kind of corny and im too ashamed to add into the main post so i might add on a reblog or maybe not#midterms were so awful i had to keep reminding myself i can go ham drawing whatever i want once im done. and naturally its this#anyways ive always liked midos city rider fit it suits her so well#always wanted to find a good one to pair w it and the wink killer 2nd half xscout was toooo good i was inspired immediately#finally could use this good ref pic ive had saved since forever i need to draw backgrounds more too it was rather fun somehow#mental state has been yoyoing an insane degree lately like come on i dont need to be reminded i am a useless hunk of meat every other day#with nothing good going for them. college is amazing at reminding me of such god bless#i have bad tendencies to self isolate behind the excuse of concentrating that i am trying to fix . but its hard to get back when i do#not to mention the entire Big Event happening over in good ol amerika serikat!!! my apathy is naturally immense#but whats some peace of mind here and there idk. im gonna read yuri
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day 1818 Happy (late) Halloween!!
#amphibian#frog#halloween#a bit late because this is how i spent my halloween evening so it wasn't done by my usual posting time :)#been a pretty weird week so I didn't have the energy or time to have any proper hallooween festivities :(#but i reqatched over the garden wall while carving a pumpkin and eating halloween candy which was really nice :)#I've done this idea on a pumpkin at least once before but it didn't turn out super well in my memories so i wanted to try again
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I think this is one of my favorite lines from the Wraith route because of (imo) how much the meaning changes depending on if you got there via Spectre or Nightmare. For Spectre, it honestly strikes me as a genuine question. Why are you doing this to her? If you're on the Spectre route, you presumably already know the Narrator can't really be trusted, since you had to reject his reward to get here. What are you hoping to gain from continuing to hurt her? For Nightmare, it honestly just makes me sad. As the Shifting Mound describes her, "She desires only companionship, but the only thing she knows is how to hurt." This line feels like a plea from someone who genuinely doesn't understand why you keep rejecting her. She wants to be with you, but she just can't understand how to do that in a way which doesn't hurt you.
#at the risk of getting put on a list there is something tragic & relatable in nightmare#someone who desperately wants to make connections but just can't understand how#anyway wraith is one of my favorite princesses for stuff like this (and bc tragedy aside her route is a riot)#also im sorry if she doesn't say that line if you got there via nightmare#that's how i got her and i could've sworn she did? But i only found footage of her saying it in spectre#slay the princess#stp#stp wraith#the wraith#stp spectre#stp nightmare#side note archetypal/heart#(slash so i don't accidentally tag them)#pointed out on another post of mine that you get wraith via nightmare by killing her and via spectre by leaving her in the basement#in both cases its a rejection of her (rejection being one of wraith's main themes)#which makes me speculate on spectre's ch 3 (which i think we currently have very little info on?)#Trying to run from Nightmare should technically be a 'rejection' as well#but you get MOC from that (and from choosing to stay with her)#imo bc you're just repeating the same inaction which got you into this situation in the first place#you don't want to slay her. you don't want to set her free. So you just leave her there (again)#and so you get MOC where things have only gotten worse and you have no choice left. Because you chose *not* to take action again#So I wonder if spectre 3 will be a similar 'repeating your past mistakes' type of deal#i was skeptical about it coming from stabbing yourself while she possesses you or trying to crush her bones#but it does make sense with that in mind#im curious if it'll parallel MOC#except instead of having no choice but to free the princess you have no choice but to obey the narrator again#maybe you both end up stuck in the cabin forever again?#idk#sorry i probably should've put all of that tag in the post lmao
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I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT ONE SIDE PROFILE OF THE MARIO BROS NOR CAN I TELL YOU WHY
I DONT KNOW WHY OUT OF ALL OF THOSE DRAWINGS THATS THE ONE I LIKE THE MOST BUT ITāS ALL GREAT WORK FACTUAL
YOUāRE GETTING ME THROUGH FINALSššš
(Post in question)
STAAAAHP you're gonna make me fall back into my Mario phase!!1! XDD
(FR THO THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DD I'm glad you liked that doodle! I was rather proud of how it came outš!!)
#my response#super mario bros#I HAVE been brewing more mario lore behind the scenes-#mostly with the princess' and what not#and Wario and Waluigi were getting more lore as well..#Bowser and koopaling redesignsss...#redesigning old power ups and adding new ones..#Even Toadsworth got lore and the Alfred Pennyworth treatment-#I've thought about at least making a master post for all my Mario stuff- asks and all#just felt conflicted about getting back into mario since I was trying to gather my energy for my FNAF AU#but then again this is my hobby blog and no one is paying me for squat so I could totally go back to Mario for a bit if I wanted to-#idk I guess I'll keep thinking about it XDD
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You are so pretty, Charles. That's not my name. Oh! You look so much like my third husband.
8.08 Hunteri Heroici
#this was in my drafts but I'm gonna try and start posting new stuff again#i literally forgot how I tag things and the entire desktop view is so different I am ALL out of sorts#anyway hi hello hope you've all been well!#spn#destiel#my edits#spnedit#destieledit#8x08 hunteri heroici#season gr8#cowboycoven
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confusion, community, choices, and crossroads.
#I donāt have the stamina to do huge sets of related images - but I have tons of one-shot material to compile into loosely related groups#it always feels like photography works better in high-volume. one photo per post is tough unless itās a really treasurable image#and I havenāt been doing any collages because. well. Iāve been trying to 100% warframe on steam since I started playing again#my art#glitch art#aesthetic#art#artwork#webcore#internetcore#glitchcore#abstract#artists on tumblr#flash photography#photography#weirdcore#liminal#glitch aesthetic#midwest#moody aesthetic
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So those cupcakes were for you.
MY LOVE MIX-UP! | EP1
#my love mix up#my love mix up th#gemini norawit#fourth nattawat#geminifourth#mlmuedit#mlmu#mlmu th#my edits#kongatom#THESE ROOFTOP SCENES ARE SO ANNOYING TO COLOR LIKE TF????#<- she says while exclusively having giffed rooftop scenes for this ep (so far?) :D#i know vicki has already posted a stunning gifset of this scene#but i was once again fighting for my life trying to color this so i wanted to post mine as well :D#kongthapatom
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Monster High Rare Pair Month: Outfit Swap!
I've actually had the idea to swap their styles for a while, and this prompt was such a good excuse to finally do so!
In my head, the two of them got paired up to work on a project where they had to show appreciation for each other's scaritages, and being the fashionista's they are, they opted to highlight the fashion of their monster types.
...And in the process they fell in love š¤
#monster high#mhrarepairmonth#cleo de nile#clawdeen wolf#cleodeen#cleo x clawdeen#monster high fanart#digital art#id in alt#monster high gen 1#i recorded a timelapse too but its too long to post directly to tumblr#i wanna figure out video editing so i can post it somewhere#then again i was fighting for my life trying to figure out the background and im kinda embarrassed about it#actually this whole piece was a struggle tbh i did not plan out the outfits super well#my art#sabz art
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i forgot to do this here last night when i reposted this onto twitter but anyways. happy pride month i dont have time to draw anything new yet so have one of my banger drawings from last year (insert transgender flag here)
#sorry that i always forget to post on here. it will happen again#i still like this drawing a lot i dont think ive ever drawn guns this well. dont think i ever will again either#anyways !!!!!!!!!1 hope everyone can have nice vibes during pride month#stay safe and take care of yourselves; i'll try to post more art soon :)#devil may cry#dante(dmc)#allyart
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