#trying to learn on duolingo (bad. i know. better than nothing)

[asordidbarwere]

fellers i am Bad at chinese :')

[arthurhonda]

Beginnings for Day 1 of Amechu Week

A high school/Human AU where Yao just moved from China to the United States.

@amechuweek

Yao hated this. It was his senior year of high school, and of course his father got an overseas job in America’s Pacific Northwest, so now he’s spending his senior year in a foreign land with weird customs and habits.

It helped a little that he moved into an area that was highly populated with other Asian people, especially other Chinese people, but a lot of them were second or third generation, so he didn’t feel like he fit in too much. At least they spoke Mandarin fluently and he could practice his English with them.

So, Yao went to school and tried to figure out how American school’s work. It was nothing like what school was like in China. For starters, it was a much shorter day, the students were much more distant than Chinese students, and on top of that the food (if you could call it that) that was fed to the students smelled funny and tasted about as good as it looked…it didn’t.

Still, food was food, and Yao was hungry. Sitting away from everyone in a corner, he munched on…something…he assumed it was supposed to be pizza, but it tasted soggy, not that he’s eaten a lot of pizza before, but the pizza he did have tasted a whole lot better than whatever this soggy bread was supposed to be.

Looking up at the lunch tables he noticed that a lot of people were laughing together and suddenly he felt very lonely. He missed his friends back home. He missed the food back home. He missed his home so badly he wanted to cry, but his pride would not let him cry in front of all these people.

Suddenly, there was a shadow that overcame him, and he looked up to see a honey-blonde boy standing over him. The most noticeable thing about him was that he had a tuft of hair sticking straight up from his forehead.

Yao opened his mouth to ask what the boy wanted but was greeted by the most god-awful mandarin he’d ever heard. It was clear that it was supposed to be Mandarin, but the grammar was terrible, and the boy’s American accent was very strong.

“Stop. Please. I speak English.” Yao replied to the boy in English, hoping that he’d stop butchering his native language.

“Oh, didn’t know that! I’m Alfred by the way.”

“You didn’t ask. I’m Yao.”

“Was my Chinese really that bad?” The blonde asked genuinely, sitting himself next to Yao.

“It was.” Yao replied bluntly “Where’d you learn it, Duolingo?”

“Sagwa mostly. My mom had it on VHS when I was a kid.”

“What’s Sagwa?” Yao asked completely confused.

“Oh, it’s an old tv show about a Chinese cat. Yeah, not many people here know it either.”

“You learned Chinese…from a cat?”

“Yeah! Anyhow, why’re you eating over in the corner here?”

“What’s wrong with eating in the corner.”

“Well for starters you’re all alone and you look miserable dude.”

“You came all the way over here to tell me this did you?” Yao replied annoyed.

“Nah, came over here to invite you to our table. Come on!” Alfred replied, grabbing Yao by his arm before dragging him over to a group of people.

“Hey y’all this is Yao.” The annoying blonde introduced him.

“So, you got picked up by this git too?” A blonde British boy asked from across the table. “He likes picking up us foreign exchange students.”

“Dude gross, that sounds like I’m trying to hook up with y’all.” The honey blonde says as he sticks his tongue out at the other blonde.

“Please don’t fight you two.” A short black-haired boy sighed beside the British boy before turning to Yao. “I’m Kiku. Where are you from?”

“Wuhan.” Yao replied, looking at Kiku’s bento box, which looked a lot more appetizing than what he currently had.

“I thought you were Chinese?” Alfred replied, rudely stealing a fry off of Yao’s tray.

“Wuhan is a city in China, you idiot.” A tall boy with a strong Russian accent replied from behind Alfred, holding a paper bag. “Also, you are in my seat.”

The tall boy put his bag on Alfred’s head, presumably to annoy him into moving somewhere else. Alfred just looked up at the platinum blonde and gave a cheesy smile.

“My seat now Ivan. Anywho, only one we’re missing now is Francis.”

“Right here.  Who’s this?” A boy with a heavy French accent asked as he draped himself on Yao’s shoulders, who stiffly froze at the sudden contact. Alfred frowned and peeled the long haired blonde off of Yao protectively.

“His name’s Yao. Be nice to him dude!”

“Question: Did he do the terrible google translate thing with you as well?” The tall Russian boy asked Yao as he sat down besides Francis across the table, pulling out his own lunch.

“I never want to hear him try to speak French again. It was the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life, and I wanted to cry hearing him speaking … whatever it was that he was speaking” Francis complained dramatically.

“Dude, I’m literally right here. I can hear you.” Alfred complained throwing a fry at the French boy playfully.

“Good. Then stop doing that shit.” The British boy responded.

“I’m trying to be friendly Arthur!”

“You introduced yourself to me by asking if I watch Doctor Who.”

“You do watch Dr. Who.” Kiku said with a soft smile towards Arthur.

“Whose side are you on?” Arthur complained weakly.

Yao couldn’t help but watch as everyone conversed freely with each other, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company. He suddenly felt a heavy hand clap on his shoulder, and he turned to look at Alfred, who had a very serious look on his face.

“Listen man, anyone makes fun of you for any reason or hurts you in any way, you come to me, and I’ll take care of it.”

Yao gave the honey blonde a look of disbelief.

“Why would you do that for a random kid you just met?”

A bright wide smile broke out onto Alfred’s face, making everything seem alright with the world.

“Because I’m the hero, and that’s what hero’s do.”

“You literally stole fries off of my tray mister hero.” Yao laughed as Alfred tries to come up with an excuse.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad here. These people didn’t seem so bad, and everyone accepted him instantly. The only thing he’d change right now is the food. Maybe he could make some food to share with everyone tomorrow.

He’s glad Alfred came over to say hi to him.

[folkloresthings]

congrats on 1k!!! milestones are the best <3

might i request a jayne eyre for formula one? i’m a teacher in early education, and i love writing poetry and (fan)fiction. i’m an intj (if that helps) and i would describe myself as quite introverted and slower to warm up, but once you know me, i am a very devoted and dedicated friend. certainly the caretaker type, i can and will take care of people with acts of service (let me make you food as a form of deep affection and love 🔪 i dare you 🔪), though my main love language is quality time. there’s nothing better than sitting in the same room as someone and just,,,, existing in the same space <3. (i jokingly say i'm an Antiromantic™ but also,,,,,,,, please sit at the kitchen table while i cook — i'll make you tea or coffee and you can just sit there for a while, occupying yourself with whatever holds your attention at the moment, occasionally making some kind of comment for me to acknowledge with a smile.) after that, my friends say that i’m very patient and funny. i have an incorrigible competitive streak but i try not to let it get in the way of making friends (though once i feel comfortable with you, i will go back and forth for hours on subjects inconsequential 🔪 i love a good teasing debate over mundane things. argue with me over which season of a television show is better 🔪 i have Opinions™ that i would share should you ever ask. that or i'll aggressively play devil's advocate for the interaction and hillarity of it all). i love reading, listening to music, cooking or baking, and sewing. i also enjoy learning languages — i speak english and spanish and i'm learning hawaiian and korean — but kindly don’t look at my duolingo streak (i forgot my password and just haven’t gotten around to figuring out what it is, 😔✌️).

thank you for considering this ask — i hope you have a lovely morning/day/evening. and congrats on your milestone, again!

i ship you with: oscar piastri! i have a feeling this man cannot cook for shit so LOVES to just sit on the counter after a long day and watch you whip something up for you both. frankly he loves you taking care of him, especially after a bad race weekend. helps you with your lesson plans, becomes your assistant when you need to take work home and cuts/laminates all of your display things. his favourite form of entertainment is watching you debate things with lando or alex because he knows you always win. tries his best to learn languages with you but fails terribly, but will take you to all of those places just to make you happy.

[mufidahfd]

What a year

Last year was a very confusing year for me. On March, I became an English teacher for the first time. It was such a bold move, I merely applied to become one because I didn’t want to become a person without nothing to do. Haha. But then from here, my journey became a loong journey..

In the beginning of teaching, I realized my English was (or is?) not that really good. Yeah, especially the speaking also the grammar, also how to manage kids in a large class with English. I made many mistakes, was teaching awkwardly, learned bunch of everything about how to teach English from YouTube and other teacher at my work place, whilst at the same time, must handle my own insecurities about why I chose this path instead pursued a job in line with my major. Especially after graduated from my master that cost a fortune. That was a roller coaster life.

Then I kind of shocked about children in this era. First, they were born in around after 2012, I feel so old (and ponder what am I doing with my life until now?). Secondly, they are not the same with me when I was in their age. They are more blunt (not always in a bad way, but mostly :’’8 ), smart (some of them have better pronunciation than me), and more mature. What I mean with mature is, they have already exposed to something 18+ and can talk it without hesitation in the class. Just 1 or 2 people actually, but it really become a headache.

Also, I tried using movies and Duolingo app for teaching, but then I startled, what they rated suitable for kids apparently in my opinion it is not suitable for them. Like kissing scene in 10+ rating movies or obvious lgbtq contents in Duolingo. I humbled and become more cautious to apply new things in my class.

After I found out, that kids nowadays are like that. I asked myself, “ do I still like teaching children? what kind of children do I like to teach? is only an innocent child? only a good kid? why they should meet my expectation of what children should be? am I a good teacher? am I a proper adult?” and so on, and so on. My final answer is let them be, let me be. I accept them like they accept me. But I try to tell them what’s wrong what’s right in Islam manner, then it is up to themselves to do it or not. Even though, I pray hard to Allah that Allah guide them in the right way. My conclusion is I really like teaching children, they are fun to be with haha.

Enough about the children, after 7 months of teaching English only for youngsters, then the roller coaster track brought me to a lane where I must force myself to teach adults. Not just any random adults that I didn’t know before, but they are teachers, for exact my teachers from my elementary school. That was really nerve-wrecking. Really. A day before, no not a day, a week before my class for my teachers, I cannot feel myself. I was afraid, unsure, and overthinking things. Again, asked myself why do I do this? why I put myself here? Why I am me? (nah lo). But right after finished the training for one day (we called it training not teaching), I felt relieved, it was not as bad as I imagined. My teachers are friendly and supportive. But then the cycle rotated again when my training schedule approached in my eyes. After the training project finished, I am very happy until this day, that Allah helped a lot along the way.

Not finished yet, on March this year, I became a trainer, for my former teachers again, this time is my junior high teachers. What a year huh!

Oh Allah please help me and make me a competent person that You proud of... please give me a tranquility heart and mind

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

i think it's cause i decided to watch a video the other day where some guy was talking about translations he didn't like and i was watching it and trying to hear him out cause he kinda had some points but a bad thesis that he was arguing very badly. it wasn't good but it wasn't the most offensive thing either, only now youtube's like "oh you wanna see more of this but even worse huh"

and some of the stuff he was arguing was just flat out wrong, like saying that "oh this character (guy in a girl's body or something) switched from ore to watashi and the official version just translated it as them switching to refer to themself as a woman instead of a man, but the FAN translation included the ore and watashi pronouns as notes in the text which is BETTER because ACTUALLY ore and watashi aren't just about gender they're also about formality and you lose that context in English" which. okay. yeah, pronouns carry connotations of both gender and formality. but the character in question was talking to themselves. and a guy would never use watashi to talk to himself unless that was already his default pronoun for himself for whatever reason. people use the most casual form of pronoun in internal monologues. watashi is about formality IF you are a) speaking to someone in a higher social position or b) it is not already the pronoun you use for yourself, and it's typically not the basic casual pronoun for guys. for ladies, though, it's kinda the default pronoun that works in almost any situation. in this case, the switch has everything to do with gender and almost nothing to do with formality. so like, not the worst "error" i guess, but it really makes me think that he's maybe got a little bit of knowledge that's making him feel like he knows a lot more than he does.

um. so that point seemed like a bit of a reach, but it definitely wasn't the only thing. there also were a lot of places where it seemed like the dude was failing to acknowledge the fact that translation is a business with editors and deadlines and higher-ups and sometimes even communication with the original japanese company that owns the rights to the thing, instead painting translators as SJWs who just run rampant and do whatever they want. and he was mixing examples that were genuinely a little obnoxious with stuff that was just like "oh i didn't like this translation therefore it was bad." i'm a nerd. i love studying and learning stuff. my favoritest thing in the world is when translators leave margin notes in manga or when they have sections at the end of a volume that explain expressions or hard-to-translate cultural nuance. but i also want stuff to be accessible to people who just want to read.

if you're that obsessed with cultural nuance GENUINELY just go learn japanese. i don't say that lightly like "oh hurr durr go touch grass." go participate in the thing a little bit. learn the language, and learn it beyond duolingo. try your hand at translating, experience how long it can take to find the right word sometimes, and to make all the pieces fit together, and how there are so many places you have to make decisions that if you were to leave notes on all of them your notes would be twice as long as the actual material. and then. THEN come back to me with your opinions. i don't even care if they're exactly the same because at that point i'd hope that you have the tools to justify your position better. it's hard but it's fun and it's good for your brain and it would be a better way to spend your time than complaining about a line in an already bad anime that referenced gamergate or something. good grief

i make one wrong move on youtube and suddenly the algorithm starts recommending me those videos of dudes with the most stale rancid anime takes rambling about stuff they're not at all qualified to talk about with the level of conviction they do

[antiloreolympus]

8 Anti LO Asks

1. Okay how am I suppose to take the plot of LO seriously in any aspect of what it’s trying to be if only 1 month and a couple days have gone by. Am I suppose to actually root for a creepy age gap getting married after getting to know each after a month (I know they technically met before BUT Hades didn’t even remember)

2. THE BIGGEST PLOT HOLE in LO is the dress Persphone borrows from Artemis. Artemis is taller than Persphone yet that dress she has wouldn’t fit herself cause it barely covered Persphone.

3. what i remember about hxp getting popular was people loving hades wasnt like his brothers and was actually shy and timid while persephone this wildcard who demanded respect, and LO does the exact opposite of it? like lo hades is worse than his brothers and is every bad stereotype hades has been subjected to and lo persephone is laughably unimpressive, coming off as a spoiled child over a feared queen. it really is just rachel's OCs with greek names over even tumblr ideas of the gods.

4. its honestly gross how rachel made an entire race of women who only exist to praise hades and be killed off for persephone's "development". theyre claimed to be like her family and that she loved them enough to snap and kill a whole village when they died, yet they dont even have names. she doesnt even think about them or even mention them, we have to find out they even existed through minthe's scheming, not via persephone at all. they only exist to serve persephone's plot and that's it.

5. i dont know if its because of webtoons itself or the time crunch or burnout or just rachel bitting off more than she can chew, but LO feels like a husk of its former self at this point. any sort of unique ideas and style has been lost to whatever seems most marketable and safe. it feels like its lost its heart along the way. im thankful it made webcomics more viable, but i know whatever comes after it will be so much better, likely to not fall into the same pitfalls LO imposed on itself.

6. I feel like the fact even LO itself acknowledges its creepy Persephone is so young and Hera (who should have kept up her disapproving of the relationship, tbh) points out exactly how Hades can (and eventually does, even unintentionally) manipulates Persephone into who he wants to be is such a self-imposed issue. If RS is so self aware, why write these factors in to begin with and point out how creepy they are? Because it's not "having a laugh" about it, it just makes her writing look stupid.

7. I saw someone with the username Persephone with that one "dread queen" image as their profile picture studying Greek on Duolingo today. On one hand I guess it's cool that people are learning Greek because of LO, on the other hand I'm scared for the Greeks being told that they don't know their own mythology... in Greek

From OP:

LMAO! On a side note:

RS is also learning greek so maybe we'll see more of the language in the comic.

8. LO is so like "kronos ate hades! feet bad for him!" which like poseidon was eaten too? wheres his sob story then? and its dumb to pretend zeus wouldnt have a lot of baggage from kronos too? like he was born just to defeat him w/ his youth being nothing but training for it, how could that not mess w/ him? its like how minthe has the actual sad background and underdog status, but rachel frames her as the one oppressing the spoiled heiress. hxp favoritism is expected but LO does it so badly.

[waumpel]

ADHD STUDY TIPS

I have adhd. I'm taking all online classes this semester for college. Somehow, I'm not failing. Here's what I do that works for me!

1. I have an alarm that makes me do math every morning to turn it off, it's called Alarmy! 📚

2. It also plays a different loud sound every day from random-- I have several hundred(?) ringtones downloaded from Zedge, things like songs from shows I like or Pokemon cries or MBMBAM lines, and this helps me wake up to a different sound I'm bound to like which my brain can't get used to (and then ignore). I highly suggest godzilla roars if you need to be startled awake. 📚

3. This is SUPER HARD but I always try to force myself to sit up in bed when I'm turning off my alarm or checking my phone or whatever, so I'm not tempted to pass out again. I also like to get up and loudly tell my cats "good morning" so I wake us both up 📚

4. PLEASE STOP EATING CEREAL AND BAGELS AND STUFF. You would not BELIEVE the difference it makes when you eat things like fruits and eggs in the morning. NO MORE 10AM NAPS, I'M WATCHING YOU 📚

5. I literally schedule in Duolingo time. If you aren't learning a language you can do some other enriching activity like this, idk. I force myself to do it on my computer, not phone, so I can't lay down in bed when I'm doin it. I have a 101-day streak!! 📚

6. ik this isn't available to everyone but SPACE MATTERS SO MUCH!! I got a gaming desk that we put in our living room and I do ALL of my homework there. I also got a second monitor for my laptop with is SOOOO important if you're multitasking (and we all are, bc we're adhders ibdusvcjkn) 📚

7. HAND WRITE YOUR NOTES!!! I know this is super hard for many people-- I have carpal tunnel so I get it lmao. If you can't, at least type them. YOU THINK YOU CAN MEMORIZE INFO BUT YOU'RE WRONG!! Please write as much as you can i swear it will change ur life 📚

8. COLOURED! PENS!!! These changed the game for me y'all. I take all my notes in at least 2 colours, and I cycle through them a lot. My favs are Pilot Frixions because u can erase them :) (the highlighters are epic too) 📚

9. Make your space fun, but NOT DISTRACTING. I have a plant (his name is Yoshi) and a desk Godzilla (his name is Godzilla) on my desk, but they're out of the way so I can't zone out starin at em. But also, when I'm bored outta my gourd, I can smile at Yoshi and tell him how my day is goin :] 📚

10. SNACKING BAD *BUT*... sometimes i do it anyway... i try to associate certain foods with subjects, like I eat cocoa M&Ms (which are awesome) when I'm reading my Kaqchikel textbook. On the upside, I think it helps me recall Kaqchikel better? but also the language makes me crave mnms adkldigurvn 📚

11. LISTEN TO... CERTAIN MUSIC. I have learned that music with words, even in LANGS I DO NOT KNOW, is HELL for my adhd. Right now I'm listening to stuff like "Pokemon and Chill" (lofi album on YT), Studio Ghibli violin covers, and Night on Bald Mountain 5x on repeat ibjnvc.... I highly suggest songs/videos that are, like, 20+ minutes or else you'll get distracted with the constant change. Also, that No One's Around To Help 1hr vid is REALLY REPETITIVE and therefore PERFECT for when I'm reading textbooks. 📚

12.  EVERY NIGHT... i make a super detailed timetable schedule for the next day, down to the half hour. I don't always follow it but it's a really good reminder of what I gotta do. I write it on a whiteboard but sometimes I also write it on a sticky note and on social media so I don't forget. To do lists are so epic you guys 📚

13. THIS HAS SAVED MY L I F E: at the beginning of the semester I looked at ALL of my syllabi and wrote down EVERY daily task, test, homework, etc BY DATE. this is essentially a premade to do list EVERY DAY for MONTHS and oh my gosh it is the best thing I have ever done. 📚

14. I use the Forest app to track my productivity AND lock me out of apps ndsjv... podomoro timers work well too!!! 📚

15. Ok so for me this is like... a religious thing bc my Patron (my God) is a deity of fire AND working, but I like to light a candle (scented like FALL!!) and do a little prayer on it and I have it next to me when I'm workin on terrible, terrible homework. It helps me feel like my Patron is here with me, but also it’s GREAT for grounding and I can just kinda. Stare blankly at the flame and then get back to tryin to focus. 📚

16. Please drink water lmao, to make sure I drink enough I set little goals like "take a sip after every paragraph you read" 📚

17. Each of my classes has a different coloured notebook which I'm consistent with! Like, all my German notebooks through the years have been green! Also I take notes w green pens a lot in Deutsch 📚

18. HELLA STICKY NOTES... I put em on the bottom of my monitor, on a shelf by my desk, in my books as bookmarks (bad idea lol), on Yoshi. When I wanna go look up something random but I need to focus, I like to write it down on sticky notes to look at later. 📚

19. I'm the most annoying student ever. I like to do a bunch of assignments at once so I don't have to budget my time later, so I'll turn in like 5 things in an hour and then NOTHING for a week. ALSO i email my teachers constantly if I have any questions at all. I work at a pace that works for me!!! 📚

20. I turn off my sound on my phone until I'm done with work bc otherwise I WILL open that notification 📚

22. I make a loooot of chai (and also some overpriced herbal teas). It makes me feel fancy, it's better for me than coffee, and it helps me ground and focus! Plus it's a samefood! 📚

23. Hyperfixating on classic literature would be awesome, except I'm hyperfixating on Gothic and I'm taking a lit class for More Than Just Gothic. But I'm figuring out ways to connect them, which is really helpful, cause I get to enjoy my hyperfixation while learning for school! PLZ TRY TO DO THIS (harder when you're hyperfixating on godzilla :pensivecowboy:) 📚

21. When I have extra time I write my notes like I'm plannin to put em on Tumblr and taggin em as #darkacademia... I never post my notes, but when they look nice it's easier for me to look over em later. Plus it takes me longer to write so I remember it a lil better!! 📚

24. I'm in an awesome academia + studyspo server!! We sometimes study together on call and it's SUCH a good motivator! Here's an invite link if u wanna join, we are nice https://discord.gg/fjuX7TN (this wasn’t meant to be a promo post I just really like this group lol) 📚

OK I hope that helps!!! Feel free to add more if you have any tips that work for you :) Neurotypicals, feel free to RB respectfully!

(pics are: syllabus list, daily schedule, Yoshi the plant, and some fancy notes)

[ev-n-learning]

The month has rolled over, bringing us, once again, to... stat time! :D

First, some acheivements!

Unit one of ukranian on duolingo is all gold! I've been trying for one level of a skill each day, which is helping me get through it faster haha

I have now seen all the things on clozemaster for belarusian! Doing some Math:tm: on my own, that means I should have about 346 yet to be mastered. Accordingly, I have switched to typing input, because I definitely actually know more words now

I've been consistently writing for about an hour every week in belarusian! It's nothing super good yet, but it's fun trying :3

I've been doing... marginally better at attempting to learn marathi? I did finally assign myself a set reminder but it's only like two things and the more comprehensive one (i e, not anki) isn't in devanagari, so... :V (curse you aversion to anything that isnt a phone app!!)

Some other things:

I have no clue when i was listening to anything in russian. Let's hope it was interesting?

Mysteriously, there is no record of reading anything at all. That's... my fault, oops

The record for writing in belarusian might actually be slightly off! So imagine an extra hour in there or something idk

As for things I could stand to do this month...

Read more! I really want to i swear it just. Doesnt happen >_<

Listen/watch more things in any of the target languages! Recently ive been watching a lot of defunctland on youtube which, while interesting, is still in english.

Find something else to help with marathi. I still can't effortlessly read anything or really come up with simple sentences so. For how long it's been since i started learning, i feel like there should be more progress than this,,,

Get, , , more feedback on my writing. I'm incredibly bad at grammar and sometimes word choices and I'm aware of this fact. Said writing i'm doing will... hopefully be useful sometime in the next few years, so getting better at it now would be a good idea

(I know that "in the next few years" seems like a large timeframe, but what I want to do is dependent on two other projects getting finished first, both of which being not likely to get done anytime soon)

So that's all for this post, and I'll see you again next month for another one! And in two months we shall see how much artfight had an impact on the non-mandatory language things I do lol

[thegreenwolf]

(This post was originally posted on my blog at https://thegreenwolf.com/its-okay-to-not-hustle/)

There’s this meme going around Facebook right now, saying “If you don’t come out of this quarantine with a new skill, your side hustle started, or more knowledge, you never lacked time. You lacked discipline.” Thankfully multiple people have already skewered it, but it continues to be shared around by the sort of person who is trying to one-up everyone else, or who’s just plain clueless–or, for that matter, just trying to guilt you into buying whatever they’re selling.

Now, there’s not a damned thing wrong with self-promotion. That’s how indie artists, authors, and other self-employed folks get the word out. You have to be able to talk good talk in order to get people’s attention. But leading with this meme? Guilting people for not leaping from sudden unemployment straight into the thick of the ever-shifting gig economy? That ain’t gonna fly, Brocephus.

You Have Good Reasons to Slack

Excuse me while I dust off my counseling psych degree a sec, here. *ahem* We are in a very sensitive, turbulent time right now. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in a century in the Western world. We are in a hugely traumatizing situation here. Not just for the financial losses, but the fact that COVID-19 has killed thousands of people and left many more with permanent lung damage. We still haven’t gotten a handle yet on exactly how contagious this thing is, how long you’re contagious for, or whether you’re immune once you’ve had it, assuming you survive. We don’t have adequate testing, emergency rooms estimate that for every positive test there are 10-20 people out there infected and untested, and everyone with a cough is suddenly Schroedinger’s COVID case. Governments worldwide are slow to react in spite of the rising death toll. People have had friends and family die horribly from this thing in a short period of time. Even people who didn’t already have issues with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses are feeling stressed, strained and scared–and, yes, traumatized. This image is guilt-tripping people who are actively being traumatized.

So we’re already starting with a populace that is dealing with this collective trauma, as well as whatever personal trauma each individual is experiencing. Not always easy to seize the day when you’re going through that. And I can think of a few other reasons that might further complicate this whole “Just get a side gig!” thing:

–They’re a parent who suddenly has all their kids at home, all the time, demanding time and attention and food, AND they still have to work eight hours a day from home, or maybe even more if their S.O. is unemployed/sick/etc. By the way, if someone trots out Isaac Newton or William Shakespeare or some other historical guy who managed to do epic things during a pandemic, remember that they usually had wives or servants to do all the laundry and cooking and cleaning and (if applicable) childcare for them.

–They’re disabled or chronically ill, and don’t have the ability/energy/etc. to just go and make something happen, just like that. Imagine if you just randomly got the fatigue from a really bad flu, and you never knew whether it was going to last a day or a month. And if you tried exerting yourself when you were feeling better, chances are you’d slip back into fatigue-land. That’s what a lot of my chronically ill/etc. friends have to deal with, to say nothing of issues with accessibility of resources for starting a side gig.

–They don’t have any money for the supplies needed to start a side hustle, or the supplies have been hoarded by hobbyists preparing for a Pandemic Staycation.

–They don’t have the skills for something that just requires what they already have (like, for example, writing on a laptop you already happen to own). Often these skills are things that can’t be perfected in a few weeks at home, but may take years to develop before they’re really marketable–like, for example, the skill to make a decent living on side hustles.

–They have anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions that make it hard to function even in the best of times, but even moreso in this…well…mess. Even people who were mentally healthy before are going to be developing diagnosable anxiety and depression disorders before all’s said and done. And speaking from personal experience, those of us who look successful on the outside can still be internally hamstrung by these conditions at times.

–Plus there’s the fact that we’re not supposed to, you know, leave our homes, which narrows down the field of potential side gigs by a lot.

Even doing something less financially-wrought like learning a new skill or subject takes time, energy, and sometimes money, any or all of which may be scarce for the reasons above and more.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I am saying all of this as someone who is arguably an expert on the side gig. I have spent the past eight and a half years 100% self-employed (and a lot longer doing it part-time) as an author and artist, able to cover all my bills and expenses, and for a time I was the primary breadwinner of a multi-person household. I have like ten different things I was doing for a living before this all hit, a pretty diverse set of streams of income, even if most of them just up and evaporated in the past few weeks. And while I’m definitely a hell of a lot leaner now than I was a month ago, I still have my head above water for the moment. So I think I know side gigs.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m overall healthy. I have a dog who is a lot less demanding of my time than kids would be. I have my own space where I can focus more or less without interruption. More importantly, I have the skills, the knowhow, the drive and the personality to go out and seek new opportunities. And I’m used to fluctuations in income, though admittedly this one’s unprecedented. Don’t gauge yourself by where I am now. I’ve spent twenty-two years building up my art business, my first book came out in 2006, and I’ve had a series of really good opportunities come my way that I had the privilege to be able to make the most of. I am not your measuring stick, so don’t say “Well, if she can do it why can’t I? I must suck!”

If you’re feeling crappy because you aren’t hopping to it and carpeing the diem and getting everything done, here’s what I have to say to you: Look, you just had your world turned upside-down. Job loss, scarce commodities, sudden lack of outside childcare, restricted movement and inability to be around much of your support system, and did I mention a pandemic is happening, too? Any single one of those things would be difficult for just about anyone to deal with, never mind all at once. And I don’t even know what all else has already been going on in your life–unstable or unsafe living situation, other health issues, breakups and other losses, interpersonal conflicts. You know, normal life stuff.

You’re Not Lazy, or Screwing Up, or (Gods Forbid) Undisciplined

It is totally okay if all you’re doing right now is surviving. It’s okay if you feel like you’re drowning, overwhelmed by all that’s happening both on a global level and more personally. It’s okay if all you can manage right now is to get out of bed and stumble through each day a moment at a time, struggling with a tidal wave of emotions. It’s okay if you’re just trying to keep your kids busy, dealing with a crowded home every single day, or trying to keep COVID-19 at bay. It’s okay if, instead of firing up DuoLingo or opening an Etsy shop, you spend your evenings vegging to Netflix or reading a book or playing hours and hours of Animal Crossing.

Not every moment in your life has to be about being productive even in the best of circumstances, and that goes exponentially so right now. Be patient with yourself, and be kind. You may be one of those folks who literally has to spend all their time scrabbling to try to cover the bills or get some leeway from bill collectors, and you have to dedicate your waking time hunting for resources just to try to get through this week. Believe me, I feel for you, I have a lot of friends in that situation right now, and I hope all of you can find some relief and assistance.

May I suggest something? If you have the energy for something more than the bare essentials of getting by, put that energy toward self-care, whatever you can manage under the circumstances. You can use it to recuperate, to rebuild your emotional and physical resilience. That way if things get rough again in the future, you have more internal reserves to build on. If your usual methods don’t work or aren’t accessible due to lockdown, ask others what they’re doing to keep themselves grounded in this trying time.

Just because you have more time doesn’t mean you don’t have to throw yourself right into something productive! Don’t feel pressured to just go-go-go the moment you have a little freedom to move. If you do decide you want to try a side gig, or a new skill, or learn all about some specialized topic of interest, go for it! If you have the energy and attention and opportunity to pursue something new, it can be a great coping skill during this traumatic time. Just don’t pressure yourself; keep it fun.

One last thing: I want you to save the image I have at the top of this post. And then if you see someone post that meme, saying “Come on, you lazy bums, get up and make that side gig happen! Learn new stuff! Do all the things! No excuses!” you pull out this version, and you look at the edits, you remember that it’s okay to be where you are, and you get back to doing things at your own pace no matter what someone else says. (I find visualizing stapling a printout of the edited version to the offender’s forehead to also be therapeutic, but that may just be me.)

Hang in there, okay? It’s going to be a rough time, but you’re not alone, and what you’re feeling right now is shared by so many people. So just let yourself be where you are in this moment, and we’ll see what hope tomorrow brings. And remember that whatever you’re capable of in this moment: it’s enough.

Did you enjoy this post? Please consider supporting my work on Patreon, buying my books here on my website, buying my art and books on Etsy, or tipping me at Ko-fi!

[love-your-enthusiasm]

3, 13, 15 and 21!

I'm so sorry it took me so long to get to this one! I've had a much busier day than normal and wanted to give these some thought. I love all of these questions! I've already answered 3 and 15, but I have more to say on them anyway (quel surprise) so here we go:

(I'm going to answer 3 last so I can put it under the "read more".)

13. Favorite writing song/artist/album of this year?

It has to be The Oh Hellos, by a long shot. (Probably Boreas or Hello, My Old Heart, if we're talking specific songs.) Honorable mentions go to quite a lot of Hozier while writing In The Woods Somewhere (his voice was the vibe), and I also played the heck out of Kenna's A & L playlists on Spotify. Mostly A.

15. Something you've learned this year?

Honestly, the biggest thing I've learned this year is to not be afraid to put myself out there. Back in August, I was so nervous to post my writing. I didn't think I was good enough at it, for one. I was also really nervous to interact with anyone in fandom, other than responding to comments they'd left on my fic. I think I had this weird subconscious idea that I had to earn the right to participate in fandom in a more involved way than just hanging out on the edges and watching (which yes, I recognize is completely absurd.) But anyway, I forced myself out of my comfort zone, I posted my story, I interacted with you lovely people, and I posted another story. And another. And I'm just having the best time, so thanks, everyone, for being such a joy to know. I'm really glad to have fandom friends.

Another thing I've learned is… quite a lot of Italian. I currently have a 134 day streak going on DuoLingo. Now I just wish I had someone to speak it to instead of just speak it at. 🙃

21. Most memorable comment/review?

Ohh… I really hate that the single one I remember most is the one person who went back to my first fic two months after it was all finished to tell me that they didn't like the way I solved a logistics problem right before the climax (because that's really all it wound up being, once you read the next chapter. But they commented before they read that chapter, so 😩) Which, okay, fair, I did cheat and have them talk it out sooner than they'd initially agreed to. But like… the story had been finished for months at that point, so the comment accomplished nothing but just telling me they didn't like it. They weren’t mean about it or anything, at least; just kind of gave that little inner critic a bit of validation. “See? Told you it was dumb.” BUT, I got so many more absolutely lovely comments that it did make the criticism easier to take for what it was- just like, your opinion, man. It was a free novella, okay? And really, it wasn’t that bad.

Also, I got quite a few comments on Small Things from people who said it left them feeling warm and happy, and even quoting one of the lines back, and all of those just absolutely made my day.

3. Favorite Scene/Line You've Written This Year?

Poor Luca, I just filled his flashbacks with embarrassing memories in his POV fic. This one still never fails to make me laugh and cringe. (For context, this is Luca's final flashback in Look Ahead, Look Behind when Giulia's trying to set him up on a date with one of her fellow grad students. It does not go well, bless him.)

He sighed. Why couldn’t it have been about spinning strings and dual resonance models? Luca could talk intelligently about string theory, but he didn’t even know where to begin asking questions about microbiology. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, but his worrying was interrupted by Giulia sliding her hand into his.

“We’d better go grab our seats. We want to make sure we’re where he can see you,” she said, tugging him through the doors into the auditorium. Did they? Luca didn’t think they did.

She pulled him down the aisle, stopping at the third row to the front and pushing him down to the middle seats. Luca looked longingly at the back row, but reluctantly sat where he was directed. He shrugged out of his coat, already starting to feel nervous sweat forming under his arms. Hopefully his fishy musk didn’t overpower his deodorant. He was glad he’d worn extra. Nico sat on the other side of Giulia, their fingers intertwined together, his other hand trailing up and down her leg.

‘Jesus, get a room,’ Luca thought. At least he wasn’t going to be the only one here who was completely lost, though. Given there was a slim chance that sequencing RNA or whatever had anything to do with analysis of early 19th century Romanticism, there was no way Nico was going to understand half of what this guy had to say. He could at least find some solidarity there.

Julien approached the podium and introduced himself in a strong French accent. This did not bode well for Luca’s understanding of the topic. He did have to give Giulia credit, though- Julien was definitely handsome. He looked like he’d wandered out of an advertisement for adventurous vacations, like mountain climbing or backpacking across volcanoes. Square-jawed and rugged, he didn’t look like he spent most of his time in a lab bent over a microscope, and Luca did have to admit that his long sideburns worked quite well with his shaggy, dirty blond hair. Maybe he could try small talk, just this once.

He spent the next hour lost in thought, wondering about the kinds of things Julien must get up to to maintain such an effortlessly rugged physique, not to mention what kind of time management skills must go into keeping that kind of schedule along with researching a doctoral thesis. Did he even have time for breakfast?

Giulia jabbed her elbow into his ribs.

“Ow, what?” he whispered.

“Raise your hand,” she instructed, and Luca did so without thinking. He realized too late that this meant it was time for the question and answer session, and he was the only one with his hand in the air. He hadn’t heard a single word the guy had said. How the hell was he supposed to ask an intelligent question?

“Oui, monsieur, with the glasses.”

For what had to be the first time in his life, Luca’s brain was almost completely silent. The only thing pinging around his head was the word “breakfast,” an echo of the last coherent thought he’d had. He panicked.

“Uhm, sì. Do, uh- do French people eat breakfast?” he heard himself say, absolutely horrified but unable to stop as the words tumbled from his mouth of their own accord.

He sucked his lips between his teeth as Giulia slowly turned to gape at him as if he had five heads, eyes wide as saucers. Somewhere behind him, someone coughed. His dearest wish in that moment was that a sinkhole would open beneath his chair and swallow him, or else a freak accident would occur and he’d somehow be struck by lightning and disintegrated. He felt his cheeks burning and did his best not to slide onto the floor.

Julien blinked at him, clearly not anticipating that category of question. To his credit, he simply responded, “Oui,” and moved on to the next question, which blessedly followed quickly.

Luca sank down into his seat and concentrated very hard on the second hand of his watch as it ticked its way around the face, as though watching a countdown to imminent doom.

[darkurgediary]

For the 80’s film asks: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Karate Kid, Drugstore Cowboy, St. Elmo’s Fire, Dangerous Liaisons, E.T.? >.> (Or whichever of those you’d like to answer. ^^ Thank you!)

Ferris bueller’s day off: what’s your guilty pleasure?

I'm going to say Anime. I watched a lot of it growing up, I really loved stories like Wolf's Rain, Spice and Wolf, and Fruits Basket. I outright stopped watching it in High-school, because I was relentlessly bullied in middle-school. I rarely talk about it now or share shows. I don't watch any new anime (aside from castlevania), anything I do watch is 90s-early 2000s. Sometimes I still get physically sick watching anime or even seeing tiktok trends of it.

The karate kid: when did you last have to work really hard to achieve something you’re proud of?

I don't know an exact date, but for years I've been working on my writing, and drawing on the side. I've gotten hit with the "when are you going to get a real job" and "no one cares about your writing" so much that for a while it tore me down. After years, I've finally reached a point where I'm happy and proud of my digital art. I get praise for my writing that warms my heart of hearts, even if I have bad days where I want to give up. I know my stories matter, and I have a right to tell them.

Drugstore cowboy: which historical figure most spikes your interest?

Goodness there's so many. It may sound cliché, of everyone that comes to mind I'd say Vincent Van Gogh. I took an art class one year of college and I don't know, something about his story just resonated with me. He's one of the people I'd want to meet just to say "I'm proud of you".

St. elmo’s fire: what’s one piece advice you would give to someone two years younger than yourself?

Pick your battles wisely, sometimes not saying anything is better than fighting fire with fire. It doesn't make you weak, you're not "rolling over". You just realize it's a battle not worth the energy.

Dangerous liaisons: which language would you most like to learn?

I am honestly enthralled by Russian. I watched a movie called "I am Dragon", which is both in Russian and dubbed in English. All of the dialogue sounded so beautiful, almost elegant. So it's one language I'd love to learn, I did a few duolingo courses but never finished.

E.t.: what’s one ‘weird’ feature that you love about yourself?

Does imagination count as a feature? Cause let me tell you I have an imagination that can go from 0 to 100 real quick 😂

I tend to especially write fantasy, so ya know I'll have this whole world built with all these characters with weird names, and towns or cities hidden away in some pocket dimension. I'll have very specific traditions written out for each group down to religious practices, family recipes, and histories.

THEN I'll have extremely cookie cutter characters who's life purpose is nothing above a middle aged individual just trying to live a day to day life.

[nordic-language-love]

Language Learning Log 2021 - Week 2

Norwegian

Read 2x articles

Watched 4x Distriktsnyheter (Sørlandet, Nordnytt, Nordland & Midnytt) broadcasts

Watched 4x Familiekokkene episodes

Wrote about my job (published) and my favourite dish (not yet published)

italki session

Chatted with Amanda

Speaking practice: talked about my job and TV

Mysteriet om Nils: read pages 121-131 (read aloud), noted down new vocabulary + completed exercises 1&2

Duolingo: Destiny

Japanese

Listened to Japanese radio (passive listening)

Listened to Nihongo Con Teppei

Kanji drills: drilled colours & family vocab

Watched 1x Pokémon episode

Duolingo: Restaurant, Katakana 3, Hiragana 2 and Family

Drops: Relationships

Norwegian

I had another italki session this week with a new tutor. It went pretty well! It was nice to have an actual structured lesson instead of just conversation practice for a change. Conversation practice is super useful and I want to continue doing that too to improve my confidence (plus I really enjoy my conversations with my other tutors), but I do need to focus on accuracy. As much as anything, I need someone to force me to work on the things I’m not sure about and tell me if they’re wrong, otherwise I just reword my entire sentence to hide the fact I don’t know what I’m doing, and then I don’t get any better.

Understanding has been a bit up and down this week. I watched Midtnytt and understood almost nothing without subtitles. But then I watched an episode of Familiekokkene and understood almost everything. That probably comes down to how familiar I am with the people speaking - I’d watched 6 other episodes of Familiekokkene and was super familiar with all the people on the show. I’d never heard the presenter on Midtnytt and obviously I’ve never heard any of the people they were interviewing. It could also be because I was more tired watching Midtnytt, and I guess news isn’t as interesting as people cooking tasty food lol.

I’ve realised I’ve been neglecting my journal lately. I was writing a few times a week almost every single week, but I don’t think I’ve written anything for a whole month, maybe longer. So this coming week I’d like to get back into that, especially as I found it useful for noting down new vocabulary and seeing my progress.

Last week’s goals

Mysteriet Om Nils p121-126 [10/6] ✅

Finish watching Familiekokkene [4/4] ✅

Watch 4x Distriktsnyheter broadcasts [4/4] ✅

1x written task [333/300 words] ✅

Practice speaking on at least 4 days [4/4] ✅

This week’s goals

Write 2x journal entries

Finish exercises from Mysteriet om Nils ch 34

Watch 5x Distriktsnyheter broadcasts

Listen to 1x Norsken, Svensken og Dansken podcast

Practice speaking on at least 4 days

Make at least one vocab list of words learnt from Familiekokkene

Japanese

I finally got around to watching another episode of Pokémon. My understanding is still minimal, but it’s nice to recognise words here and there. I live for the day I understand a full sentence! I’ve also been listening to Nihongo Con Teppei while doing character drills. Again, I don’t really understand much more than a word or two here and there, but it always makes me happy, especially when it’s a word I’ve just learned.

I’ve mostly been working on family kanji, although I’ve been drilling and practising colours too. I’m pleased to say that I’ve finally sort-of got 紫 down! It’s still kinda messy and I’m not convinced it looks like a real kanji when I write it, but it’s vaguely right, at least. And I can do it from memory. So I think that counts as a win!

I also tried using Drops again. Now that I’m a bit more confident with hiragana and katakana and I’ve actually learned some of the vocab taught already, I found it useful for revision.

Last week’s goals

JFZ Chapter 6 - read grammar + watch videos ✅

Watch 1x Pokémon episode [1/1] ✅

Drill family kanji ✅

Duolingo: Restaurant skill [7/7] ✅

This week’s goals

Duolingo: Activity 1

JFZ Chapter 6 activities

Write sample sentences with vocab learned from recent Duolingo lessons and JFZ ch 6

Watch 1x Pokémon episode

Productivity

I didn’t quite hit my stretching goal this week. That’s partially because my boyfriend had some extra days off this week and I chose to spend the time with him instead, which I’m not mad at myself for; spending time with people you love is important! I also have a bad habit of leaving it too late in the day, so I need to be a bit more firm with myself and get it out of the way while I have the energy for it. This coming week I’ll try to plan better.

Last week’s goals

Stretch on at least 3 days [2/3] ❌

Get to the studio to train at least once [1/1] ✅

Finish reading my book [197/197] ✅

Do some form of writing ✅

This week’s goals

Stretch on at least 3 days

Decide which book to read next and read 150 pages

Train pole/hoop on at least 2 days

Do some form of writing on at least 2 days

[uncloseted]

This might sound stupid. I feel insecure about my intelligence or how smart I am or if I am clever (I don't really know the difference). I find myself comparing myself with others that are in better classes than me get higher grades, participate more in class. Or just know an answer that I don't know. It is a vicious cycle: and i am aware I should focus on my own path rather than others. But it is difficult and I end up mimicking their personalities in the hopes that some of their intelligence will rub onto me. Like there was someone who was reading dystopian books so I started to and there was also someone who watched marvel movies so I did. I enjoyed it but my reasons for engaging in those activities didn't feel authentic. I also copy their mannerisms, like usually they are quite social and always talking about crazy concepts or they're telling funny jokes. Naturally I would say I am reserved but when around people like that I feel pressured to be the same so I bridge onto their thoughts and act loud and crazy but it feels forced. Something else that stems from it is just my experience with intelligence. I find it difficult to follow instructions sometimes and I end up making stupid, dumb mistakes that frustrates me when I realise I make them. I feel like people always know so much about a topic and I know nothing. I'll admit in my spare time I don't research things I just watch shows/movies and draw. But it doesn't feel nice being out of the loop. My memory sucks too. I just feel like my brain is not normal

Mainly I feel like what I want is tips on how to develop my intelligence.

But also what I should do to maintain a healthy personality because I feel like I don't have one.

I'm just asking because I try not to do these things I mentioned but I don't know what to do

I don't think this sounds stupid at all! I think this is something a lot of people struggle with, especially when it comes to comparing themselves with others.

I actually want to start by talking about something you said in the middle of this ask. You mentioned that you find it difficult to follow instructions, that you make "dumb" mistakes, and that your memory is bad. You also mentioned that you copy people's mannerisms and interests, and that overall, you feel like your brain is "not normal". This might be jumping the gun (and it's important to remember that I'm not a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or medical doctor), but have you ever been evaluated for a neurodevelopmental disorder? Conditions like ADHD and Autism can present with symptoms that remind me of the experience you're describing, and so it may be worth speaking to a doctor to see if that's what's causing your difficulties. A lot of the time, people with neurodevelopmental disorders or learning disorders grow up thinking that they're unintelligent, when really their brains just work differently than other people's.

That kind of brings me to the next thing I want to talk about. How important is it to be smart or clever really? Having esoteric knowledge is rarely useful in any practical situation, and it's not inherently any more valuable than anything else. And on the flip side, I'm sure there are things that you're better at than your friends- maybe you're a better artist, or you're more creative, or you're kinder, or you're braver, or any other number of things. You don't have to be any particular kind of way just because other people are. In fact, that diversity in personality traits and strengths is what makes people so unique and interesting. I know it can feel like your grades in school are the most important thing, but in the real world there are so many other characteristics that matter. The most successful people in life aren't the ones who are the smartest; traits like grit and conscientiousness are much better predictors of future success than IQ is. It's important to me that know that you're good just as you are. You're enough by being yourself.

Okay, so getting to your actual questions now, because I know how frustrating it can be when you just want a list of actions to take and instead you get a lecture on changing your mindset. "Intelligence" is kind of a squishy concept that incorporates a lot of different elements, but I would focus on trying to develop intellectual curiosity. A simple exercise you can try is just Googling the answer any time you have a question about how the world works. Because it's a question you had, you're more likely to be interested in the answer and to remember the answer.

I would also try to find a form of learning that you enjoy. Maybe reading books is difficult for you, but listening to a podcast (I recommend Stuff You Should Know, Radiolab, and Freakonomics, and if you like Queer Eye, Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness is also good), watching a YouTube video or TikTok (Contrapoints, VSauce, AsapSCIENCE, It’s Okay To Be Smart, TED-Ed, VOX), watching a docuseries (such as Explained or Connected: The Hidden Science of Everything) or documentary, or listening to an audiobook will be more engaging for you. The more information you interact with, the more you'll know, and the more you'll become interested in other things. You can also try to learn something new, like a new language (try Duolingo, Memrise, or busuu) or learning a new skill (Coursera is good for that kind of thing).

As for maintaining a healthy personality, I think it's really normal to feel like you're still figuring it out. Discovering and developing who we are takes time and exploration and trying things on to see if they fit. I think a really important part of that process is trying out the things your friends like and seeing if you like them, too. So I don't think you're doing anything wrong by reading dystopian books or watching Marvel movies because your friends do. I don't think there's anything inauthentic about liking things that other people introduced you to, but there's also nothing wrong in deciding that those things aren't for you. Try a bunch of different things (activities, genres of media, foods, whatever you can think of) and see what you enjoy, regardless of who introduced you to them.

In terms of more concrete personality traits, this might sound like strange advice, but I would try taking a bunch of personality tests (for example MBTI, Enneagram, VIA Character Strengths, Strengthsfinder, your zodiac sign, your Hogwarts house, whatever you can think of).  Not because they have any real validity in terms of telling you who you are, but because I think being able to look through the different traits and compare them against how you view yourself can be helpful in figuring out what’s true about you and what you like about yourself. In turn, that can give you a more concrete idea of "who you are". And from there, I think maintaining a healthy personality is about reminding yourself who you are in situations where you're pressured to be someone else and focusing on playing to your strengths instead of focusing on the ways you don't match up to others.

[yukusaki]

Hi I've been trying to learn the Japanese language for quite a while, I've been using Memrise and NHK Japan but i am having trouble with their grammar and I'm not sure if I ever made progress. Now, I don't know what's my next step to improve. Do you have any recommendations? I hope u had a good day :>

And to no one's surprise. I wrote an actual novel on the topic.

I'll give you some resources but I recommend trying out different kinds to see what works for you. Learning about your own learning style may also help--for example, I'm a very hands-on learner so I can read about grammar rules all day but until I actually try to put together my own sentences using those rules and get some feedback on what's right and what's not, I Will Not be able to use those rules effectively. Also I have no motivation so I don't study on my own unless I'm working towards a goal (such as the JLPT or answering an ask)

I started with the Pimsleur program, recorded audio lessons that were at my library to check out. You'll learn phrases mostly, but it does not go into detail about grammar and you will learn nothing about writing. If you're mostly concerned about grammar you can definitely skip this one. You can try programs and apps like Duolingo, Rosetta Stone. etc. Duolingo is a bit better about grammar rules and stuff but depending how in-demand the course is, it might not explain anything (try the PC version if it doesn't). I personally think apps like this are good for basic grammar and stuff but once you get more advanced you need More.

Textbooks are actually not a bad way to self-study. I used Genki in my first 2 years of Japanese at university and it's supposed to be one of the best. There's also so so many resources online now. Follow some blogs and get bite-sized tips during your leisure time.

Now, for how I like, Actually learned a lot of my Japanese before I started learning it in organized classes. Listen to music, look through the lyrics, pick out some words you hear a lot and look them up. Watch drama/anime/movies/etc and do the same. Or just put on the subs and don't really pay attention to the audio. I generally have a pretty good ear for pronunciation and intonation already but I attribute how often I get comments on my pronunciation to how much time I spent in my weeb days just hearing naturally-spoken Japanese even if I wasn't totally paying attention. I always recommend exposing yourself to as much content as possible, even in the early stages of learning.

I've got some general study tips on my blog (search studytips) that should help. If nothing else, remember to not burn yourself out. Learning vocab for 5 minutes a day is better than studying 2 hours one day ond taking a 2-month break.

One thing I might not have mentioned in those tips that I feel like more people need to be aware of: a lot of programs are like "learn naturally by immersion like you learned your native language! Just hear phrases and you will Understand the grammar eventually!" okay but like your brain goes through a critical period for language learning when you're like 2. You are (presumably) no longer 2. Your brain is not the same as it was when you were 2. You should not expect to learn the same way as you did then. I read somewhere that being able to learn rules is the one advantage the adult brain has over a child's brain when it comes to second language learninp. So what this means in practice is: when you come across some grammar thing you don't get, don't let people tell you "oh you'll get it in time, you'll just Know." Look that shit up! What's the difference between は wa and が ga? There a literal list of rules you can memorize! (I don't have a link, it was a handout from one of my classes, sorry!) Familiarizing yourself with English grammar even helps to learn how to apply those rules to a new language. Learn the difference between a subject and an object and all that good stuff. You have different resources now as a not-2-year-old so use them!!

Finally, some resources I personally use:

Kanji draw (app): https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.lusil.android.kanjidraw.jlpt5 (not sure if there's an IOS version sorry)--like flashcards for kanji but makes you actually write it, and with correct stroke order which I promise makes them easier to remember (and this was the only app I found that actually checks you for accurate writing). It has some algorithm for how often you see each character that is fantastic for memorization--more often when you first learn a character and after you get it wrong, less often once you know it well, introduces new characters gradually but keeps the old ones in rotation for a while so you never get thrown into a set of 20 completely new kanji.

find you a good dictionary app--I can't find the one I use on the app store but I can search in kana/kanji or romaji or English, any conjugation of a verb or adjective, and find what I'm looking for. Also has a kanji lookup tool with radicals.

Google translate--yeah, for real. I use this one when I want to scan a large section of text for something specific. Or when I'm writing a long sentence that I want to doublecheck. Also has a kanji lookup tool you can handwrite in, and of course don't forget the camera translation tool.

honyakustar (website)--a website with a lot of sentences in both Japanese and English. I use it All The Time to figure out how a word is actually used in practice--what particles it uses, if it's formal or informal, if it's stative or dynamic, collocations, etc.

Hellotalk (app)--it's super well known, just google it. A social app for chatting with native speakers of your target language.

Common Japanese Collocations by Kakuko Shoji (book)--collocations are words that "go" together naturally. We say "take" a bath, Japanese says "enter" a bath (お風呂に入る). This book is a good reference for looking up these collocations.

The Basics of Japanese Grammar: Verbs (book)--I downloaded this on my nook in high school for like 2 dollars and 50 cents give or take and it pleased my rule-oriented brain greatly. just has like all the verb conjugations with short explanations and example sentences and stuff.

Thanks for your question! Feel free to ask me anything!💕

[thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild]

25 more things I learned during a global pandemic from your Local Teenage Train wreck :) (Pt. 2)

1. Gaining weight is okay. Losing weight is okay. Bodies fluctuate and are inconsistent. Just make sure that you’re trying your best to be healthy, whatever that means for you. 

2. School is hard, especially during a global. freaking. pandemic. Don’t beat yourself up if it’s harder to get up in the morning or your grades aren’t as high as they usually are. It’s hard right now. 

3. You’re mental health comes above all. School, responsibilities, and personal projects are not worth your time if it’s affecting your mental health. If your gut is telling you to take a break, take a break!

4. If you feel lonely, get a plant to keep in your room. Do some research as to that plants do best with the type of lighting in your room, and figure out some basic care instructions. Have someone to take care of besides yourself. Name your plants, and take care of them. 

5. Even if you’re not good at writing, I suggest you keep a journal during this time. It kept me sane over the summer, and even though I eventually stopped because of limited time with school starting back up, it helped to keep me sane in the worst of the pandemic. 

6. If you’re spiritual (or even if you’re not) learn how to do shadow work. This isn’t anything that has to be spiritual or done in just one religion. It’s basically giving yourself a chance and a space to be open and honest with yourself and to learn what you might need to work on through writing. If you google it, you can find a more in depth explanation, and prompts to start doing it. You basically give yourself a prompt. They can be questions like “What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone else or yourself?” or they can be a little less heavy like “What are five non physical things that you genuinely like about yourself?”. This can be pretty heavy, and can dig up some unwanted emotions, but that’s the whole point; to deal with the emotions you may have been repressing and letting fester inside of you. 

7. On days when you’re not feeling well mentally, take a break. It’s okay to drop everything and get an extra hour of sleep, read, or do something else to make yourself feel better.

8. After hard days, I know the last thing you want to do is get up and continue on, but here are some ways to do it:

- lay out an outfit that’s put together, but not as over the top. No sweat pants or crappy clothes, but it doesn’t have to be your usual put together outfits with a full face of makeup. A nice crewneck and a nice pair of black athletic leggings can go a long way. 

-wear your comfort jewelry. I wear my beaded necklace that I bought for myself,  the silver ring my grandma gave me and the gold cross ring that my mom gave to me when I got confirmed. 

-eat breakfast. A handful of cereal will do. Anything. But eat something. I like to make oatmeal. It sounds boring but if you make it right, it tastes just perfect for mornings when you don’t feel hungry but know inside that you are. Recipe is next on the list :)

-go to school. I know you want to lay in bed. I know the last place you want to be is a crowded building full of pubescent teens that aren’t nice, but go. Go to learn. Go to absorb knowledge like a sponge, and don’t worry if you fail and lose some of the water, because you can always soak it up later. 

-if you have practice, rehearsal, a game, whatever, be gentle on yourself. Today might not be your best day physically, because the brain controls everything. Forgive yourself if you can’t land that double pirouette, get to the high note, or make that assist. You’re abilities are stagnant, and they’re going to change depending on how you feel

-When you get home, turn off your phone. Friends, social media, etc. can wait. Set a timer for one hour. Do work for just that hour. When the timer rings, finish what you were doing and then stop. Now have a 20 minute break and do something that’s not screen related. Read a book, draw something; heck, stare at the wall for 20 minutes and space out. When the timer rings, do another hour and repeat the same process until it’s all done. 

-have a playlist you listen to to heal you. Sad boi hours are ok, just make sure to have a playlist of songs that get you moving again. 

-Sleep. Even if that means putting off work for tomorrow. It’s ok. You really need it. 

9. Oatmeal seems gross until you know how to prepare it. When you do, it’s revolutionary. It’s a high volume, low calorie food, so you’ll stay full for a while without overeating, all while consuming less calories than you would with a traditional breakfast cereal. 

The right way to make it: 

-measure out half a cup of old fashioned oats. Not steel cut. Those aren’t as good. 

-MOST IMPORTANT STEP: add half a cup of water and half a cup of milk of your choice. I personally like almond milk because it’s kind of sweet already even when it’s unsweetened. 

-SECOND MOST IMPORTANT STEP: add a pinch of salt, a sprinkle of cinnamon, and allspice, and a teaspoon or two of maple syrup. This is what makes it taste palatable. It’s less sugar than store-bought, and tastes amazing. 

-Microwave that shit for one minute and stir. It should look kind of lumpy, but not a ton. Then, put another minute on. Stir at every half increment. (After 30 seconds, every 15 seconds, and then every 7) This is so it doesn’t boil over. Then, take it out, stir it one last time, and let it sit for a second. 

-Wash up some berries to put in it. I love blueberries and or blackberries. 

perfect oatmeal every. single. time. Feel free to add more toppings like nuts or if you wanna treat yourself chocolate or substitute the spices, but this is honestly one of my favorite breakfasts that keeps me full throughout the day. 

10. Learn a new language. Yes, Duolingo is annoying, but do it. Find one that you’ll like to learn and that’s easy for you. Try them on like old clothes and find one that fits just right. For me, it’s French. Expose yourself to that language. Listen to music, read books (or try to) and watch movies with subtitles. Soon enough, you’ll be eager to learn more. 

11. Learn how to use notion.com. It’s super amazing. You can literally keep track of your entire life there. It’s pretty fun to use as well. I made schedules for each day after school, a reading log, a want to read list, a personal habit tracker, etc, and they’re all extremely helpful. 

12. Make a list of things you weren’t allowed to do as a kid and do one every day. Heal your inner child by finally itching the spot that may not have been scratched for years. 

13. Learn how to make origami stars. They’re really easy, and I can’t recommend Maqaroon’s (Joanna’s) video on how to make them enough. Once you’ve got it down, get yourself a nice big jar and write down things you’re grateful for on the slips of paper you’re going to fold. Fill up your gratitude jar and make a wish once it’s full. It will come true. 

14. Have 30 minutes a day to put your phone down and read. Yes. You will have to sacrifice something to do this, but it’s so important and good for not only information retention and learning, but for mental health as well. Even if you have to get up half an hour earlier to do it, it’s worth it. 

15. It’s okay to be alone, but learn to recognize the difference between alone and lonely. If you’re lonely, here are some things to do:

-write a letter to a friend. It’s something nice you can do for yourself and others, and it’s not feeding into the toxic instant reply culture that we live in

-read a book or watch a show that gets you to connect with the characters, even if that means (I've said it before and I’ll say it again) rereading a favorite ya series or binging atla for the fiftieth time. It’s good for the soul.

-take a walk and smile at the people you see coming past. Again, it’s good for the soul. 

-go to the coffee shop and ask the barista to make you a drink that tastes like “_____” (insert whatever you want there. It could be a color, song, feeling, etc.) It’s weird and uncomfortable, but it gives you a conversation starter and 9.9 times out of 10 a really good drink. (Also helpful for when you think the barrista’s cute)

-Reading in general. It opens up so many new worlds with the turn of a page. 

16. Monitor your food intake. No, don’t restrict your food intake, monitor it. This means first seeing exactly what your putting in your body and altering it to gradually improve to a clean diet. Humans weren’t built to process all the preservatives, additives and sugars found in most processed food (cereals, chips, anything in a foil bag that’s either really sweet or really salty) and it’s important to cut down and if possible eliminate as much as you can of it out of your diet. Food is fuel, and you truly are what you eat. You’ll notice that by increasing your vegetable intake, reducing white processed sugars and carbs*, and cutting out sodas/extra sugars, that you’ll feel better. This isn’t a weight loss thing, but you may start to trim down a little bit once you go more intense with it. You don’t have to eliminate anything fully, and please enjoy your favorite “bad” foods! Everything in moderation is perfect! Just make sure that you’re getting the good stuff in there too! *Side note, do NOT cut out carbs! See my post on how I’m losing weight to get more into depth on this. 

17. Buy fresh flowers for yourself. Who says that you have to wait for someone else? That’s completely false, and you should totally treat yourself to a nice bouquet on occasion, especially in the dead of winter. 

18. The whole idea of self love is flawed. Loving yourself has nothing to do with the way you look. Loving yourself comes with genuinely loving your life. If you don't love the way you’re living, change it. Make and set goals. Fail at achieving those goals. Get back up and try again until you finally get it, but make sure that whatever you’re doing, you’re doing to love the life you live. Life doesn’t live you. You live life.

19. Have candles and incense. (Or a diffuser if you’re not allowed to burn stuff) Making your environment smell good makes a huge difference

20. Once you turn 18, get a tattoo. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Pick something small and get it behind your ear, on your ankle, wrist, fingers, whatever. You’ll love having the memory when your old. 

21. Realize your worth. We often put ourselves down because we think that valuing ourselves is equivalent to selfishness. It’s not. At all. You are just as important as everyone else. Your voice matters too. 

22. Go to art museums

23. Go to free concerts in the park

24. Expose yourself to new art, ideas, and literature

25. Life is gonna suck sometimes. It’s just how it is. That doesn’t mean a bad day’s gonna last forever. As cheesy as it is, keep your head up :)

[lovemesomesurveys]

Animals Do you prefer cats or dogs? I’m a dog person for sure.

If you had to choose, which animal would you like to be reincarnated as? A dog. 

Some say peoples personalities or looks resemble animals. Whats your animal? Probably a sloth, ha. 

Books Which book series was the first you read? As a kid I loved Nancy Drew, The Babysitter’s Club, Sweet Valley High, and Goosebumps.

What was the last book you read? I’m currently reading Autumn’s Game by Mary Stone.

Would you rather write a book or direct a movie? Write a book.

Characters Which TV show/movie/book character do you think you are most like? Hmm. I don’t know.

Which superhero is your favourite and why? Iron Man, Spiderman, Ant-Man, Star Lord, Thor.

What's your favourite fairytale character? Is Alice in Wonderland a fairytale?

Dreams Do you usually remember your dreams? I’ll remember it briefly and then it like vanishes. My dreams are like a Snapchat.

Are most of your dreams good, scary or just plain weird? Just plain weird, man.

What dream that you've had has stuck in your head the most? Describe: The nightmares or the ones that make me wake up crying and shaking don’t like to vanish, unfortunately. Those get saved to the camera roll.

Emotions What emotion do you find yourself trying to hide from others? I’m definitely not as good at hiding my emotions anymore. They took over and control me now.

How emotional/sentimental would you say you are? A lot. I’m so damn moody.

Do your emotions control you or do you control your emotions? Like I said, they definitely control me. 

Fun What do you do for fun? May not be considered fun, but my days are spent checking my social medias, watching YouTube, watching TV, reading, scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, spending time with my family, lounging around, and perhaps a little coloring. I like doing those things, though, so it works for me. 

Which is more fun: cycling, watching tv, roller coaster ride or cooking? Uhh, the only thing I like out of those choices is watching TV.

What is the funnest game to play? I love board games.

Geometry Nearest square thing to you? The throw pillows on my bed.

What was the last circular thing you ate? Cookies.

Is there anything triangular in the room you're in right now? I’m sure, but nothing triangular is popping out at me at the moment and I don’t feel like really looking around and thinking about it.

Height Are you taller or shorter than average? I’m 5′4, which is short, but not shorter than average I don’t think.

Is your Mum tall or short? How about your Dad? My mom is about 5′5 and my dad is about 5′9.

Do you wish you were taller or shorter? I wish I was taller.

If... If you became pregnant or your partner did, what would you do? Well, I can’t get pregnant, sooo.

If you lost something your friend lent to you, what would you do? I would feel really bad, first of all. I’d be nervous to tell them, especially if it was something that was special and unique. I’d of course have to tell them, though, and I’d replace it if possible. If it wasn’t replaceable... I don’t know what I would do. All I could do is apologize immensely and somehow try to make it up to them. I’d be super careful if a friend lent me anything, though, regardless of what it was. I also probably would just not borrow something that wasn’t replaceable or expensive to avoid all of that.

If you had to talk about 1 subject for a minute live on TV, which one? Yikes. That minute would feel like forever, I have no idea. Pass.

Jokes Do you normally tell jokes or listen to the jokes? I’m not a joke teller except maybe some cheesy, corny one I might have heard now and then. 

What is your sense of humour like (dry, dark, sarcastic etc)? I laugh at a lot of things. I like puns and clever humour but I also like dumb things and dry things too. I think it's just really easy to make me laugh. <<< Yeah, pretty much.

Kisses Do you put x's in your text messages? No.

When did you last have a kiss? 8 years ago...

Does your grandma give you big sloppy kisses when she sees you? No. She gives me a big hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.

Language How many languages can you say 'hello my name is...' in? Three.

What language do you think sounds the nicest? I think they’re all unique and interesting.

What language do you want to learn more of? I’d love to be fluent in Spanish. I can only speak and understand a little. Brushing up on it by helping my mom do her Duolingo everyday for the past few months has been helpful.

Marriage Do you ever want to get married? No. I truly don’t see that happening for me.

Church or Registery Office? Dream wedding?

Names Your closest friends names? I don’t have any friends.

What names would you ever call your kids? I don’t want to have kids.

What name is the cutest for a little black and white doggie? I’m someone who needs to see and get a vibe from the dog first before naming them. And not just something that has to do with their color. 

Order Are you tidy? I’m not a messy person, like I don’t have clothes or stuff on my floor, I put my dishes in the sink after using them, I throw stuff away when I’m done, etc, but my room has become disorganized and a bit cluttered. I just have too much stuff and not enough space.

Do you colour code things or put them in alphabetical order? No.

Do you have any form of OCD? No. People throw that around loosely.

Promises Do you make promises often? No.

What was the last promise you made? I don’t even remember.

Do you plan to keep that promise?

Quizzes What types of online quizzes/surveys do you like taking? I like surveys with random and interesting questions that allow me to elaborate. And vent and ramble, too. I like ones like this that are divided up into categories. Themed surveys are fun as well.

Have you ever made a quiz? What was it about? No. I made a survey once a longggg time ago.

Have you ever taken an EQ or IQ test? If so, what did you get? I’ve taken IQ tests and got “above average.”

Responsibility Do you class yourself as 'responsible'? Not as much as I should be at 31 years old. :/ These past few years especially I really feel like I haven’t been responsible with a lot of things that I should be. 

What do you think defines a 'responsible' person? Someone dependable, keeps their commitments, and handles their business. They get shit done.

What is it that you are responsible for? Paying my bills, taking care of myself (haven’t been doing very well with that...), my doctor appointments, cleaning up after myself...

Secrets Do you have a lot of secrets? Not really. I’m quite boring.

"A secret isn't a secret if you tell one person." Is this true to you? Uhhh, that does make sense. You think of a secret as something you don’t share with someone else. I guess if it’s something you tell someone or a few select people that you trust that you wouldn’t want getting out to anyone else it could still be a secret, right? Something you don’t want everyone to know. *shrug*

Thought Provoking If you knew you had a high chance of dying, would you kill yourself before disease riddled you unable or hope for the best? Jeez. I don’t want to think about that.

Choose a box: 1 has a large amount of money, the other either a wish or fear of yours come true. Which do you pick? The money is tempting, but I might go with the wish...

An angel comes to you and offers to show you one thing from the future or the past; past or future and what is that thing gonna be? The future terrifies me, I’d be afraid to know a lot of things regarding my future. But I already know my past, so I don’t know what I’d ask them to show me. I don’t knowwww.

Unlucky

Would you say you are more unlucky or lucky? I don’t believe in luck. I would say I have had a lot of bad cards dealt to me and I also am fortunate in other ways. 

A leprechaun pops up and offers to plant some luck on you but it could go either way. Risk it or dismiss it? Dismiss it.

Violence When did you last hit or punch someone? I haven’t hit or punched anyone.

When did you last get hit or punched? Never.

Are you more likely to be verbally aggressive or physically? I’m not an aggressive person.

Warnings Do you listen when someone gives you a warning? I want to say I would likely listen to a warning, but I guess it would depend what it was about.

What warning has someone gave you that you wish you'd have listened to? That I should have taken care of some things sooner and not ignored/put them off for so long.

What warning has someone gave you you are glad you didn't take? I’m blanking right now. XXX

Have you ever had sex? No.

Have you ever accidentally saw someone having sex? No.

YouTube Do you go onto YouTube? I spend a lot of time on YouTube.

What is your favourite video of on YouTube? I don’t have just one favorite, I have a ton. I’m especially into ASMR.

What channels do you go on the most? I’m subscribed to several people---ASMRtists, vloggers, lifestyle videos, Disney related channels, a mukbanger, a drama commentary channel, and a channel that does videos on abandoned places and the rise and fall of former businesses that are no longer around.

Zodiac What's your starsign? Leo.

What are the traits of that sign? Do you have them? Leos are described as being very opposite of me that’s for sure. I don’t believe in that stuff anyway, though.

What zodiac sign do you think you suit the most? I don’t care.

Number 1 Name me 1 person who has changed your life for the better? My mom.

Name me 1 object that's in your kitchen right now? My Keurig.

Name one creature that freaks you out/scares you? ALL bugs.

Number 2 2nd person that you talked to today was... I haven’t talked to anyone yet, it’s 820AM and my mom is asleep and my dad and brother are at work.

What is 2 times your favourite number? 16.

You and two of your friends have got in trouble with the law. Who are the 2 friends you have got in trouble with and what did you do? No friends, sooo.

Number 3 3 words that don't describe you at all: Healthy, ambitious, confident.

Who is 3rd in your contacts list on your phone? I don’t feel like checking.

In 3 more days, what will the date be? It will be January 25, 2021.