#trying to kill the part of me that cringes

[scriptseekstories]

Queen Bee’s Hive

Chapter 8- Reliving the Moment

A/N: a certain moot from a certain blog found me because my dumbass keeps forgetting I have more than one blog 😭 anyways, hope you enjoy 😼

Oh yeah like trigger warning with gore of a wrist injury and whatnot-

Violence was all Jason ever knew. From the moment his drugged up of a mother abandoned him, to the time he was raised out of the Lazarus pit. Anger was all Jason ever felt, from when he had to survive on his own, to when he wanted to make Bruce pay for keeping Joker alive.

Those weren’t good combinations, his anger and violent tendencies caused him the most shame and regrets, especially towards his family. He tried to be better for them, for himself, and for the citizens in order to have the feeling of safety again.

Yet despite it all, despite trying for redemption and growth, one person fully slipped through his fingers, one who he never apologized to, one who even with his previous promises, he couldn’t seem to ever treat them the way he used to all those years ago.

You were a balance between the good and the bad of his past. He held the moments of playing with you dearly to him, he saw just how much you needed him when Bruce and Dick never bothered to see you. Yet after his death… he couldn’t bare to look at you.

You were a reminder of how hard he pushed himself to be Robin, how much he still craved for Bruce’s love even if he hated him, you were just a memory from the past he hated, yet couldn’t let go.

He cringes now whenever he reminded himself how he punched you, threatened you when he came back, how years after he mocked you. He wishes he could take it all back, to erase the scared look when he attacked you, the way your eyes welled up with tears when he harshly teased you for being a baby.

It was never your fault but his own.

“Any updates?” The static voice of Dick from the comms interrupted his self pitying, causing Jason to narrow his eyes and gripping the rooftop railing he leaned against with Cass.

“If there was, I would’ve told you,” He snapped back into the comms before wincing when Cass looked up at him with worry. He hated those looks, “I’m sorry… I’m just not in the mood for your stupid comments,” He sighed before hearing Dick’s usual reassurances before closing out of the comms.

Patrolling as Red Hood and Orphan for the past few days were getting to him, even though he wanted to go alone to brood, Cass knew better than to leave him with his emotions.

“Talk…” She mumbled out, slowly resting her hand on Jason’s bicep. He still held his eyes closed, but soon took a deep breath while staring down at the city, eyes moving to acknowledge specific things.

“Things have done to shit lately, a-and it feels like I’m not in control anymore…” He confessed, lifting his mask up over his mouth to rub it, pacing around while Cass watched with sympathy in her eyes. No one else was taking it harder than Jason and Bruce.

“That Hansen kid, the one where his parents reported him missing for four days and I still haven’t found him. I just- UGH!!” He grabbed a pipe connected to an air conditioner and threw it buildings over, placing his hands behind his head in frustration.

“I can’t focus! I don’t know if it’s guilt, but I hate it! (Name) dying, kids and adults alike are going missing! Barbara can’t open their stupid phone!” Jason ranted, pacing around like a caged animal while Cass watched with a frown and saddened eyes.

“And the worst part is that… that monster that killed them is still out there! Probably rotting away or killing other people! How many missing reports have been filed for the past week?!” Jason felt completely helpless, not knowing if his little crook friends he helped try to find a new path were dead from the same beast that killed you.

Cass didn’t say anything but slowly made her way towards him, standing beside him before slowly wrapping her arms around Jason’s waist, resting her head against him.

“I miss them too…” She didn’t need to see his face under the mask. She was trained to understand the tiniest detail of the human, and she can sense when Jason felt utterly tired and felt like crying.

“Dick says we get back,” Cass finally said after the beeping from their comms indicated that Dick was gathering the rest of the Robins. She turned and walked away a little to confirm the signal, not noticing Jason not moving.

When she didn’t even any sort of acknowledgment from him, Cass looked up to peer over at Jason. He was in a mid crouch position, but he was frozen in place. Her eyes instantly captured the way his own eyes swirled with two emotions.

He was scared.

“That thing…” He uttered out, the shine of orange and pink reflected from his mask, eyes staring down at a faint glow he will never forget.

He was furious.

“That fucking thing that killed them…” His fists clenched, breathing ragged

“No!!” Cass managed to say before seeing him take off into the night. She tried to follow, but he jumped down and disappeared. Cass cursed to herself before tracking her location to Dick and attempted to follow Jason’s trail.

Jason kept on running, gliding onto the ground and hopping up the buildings, like a savage animal looking for the one who took away his family. Jumping off a roof, he landed firmly onto the ground, where that… thing turned to face him, tilting its head.

“You get to live… when the corpse you have eaten was found by their family to suffer…” His breathing was unsteady, guilt and rage mixing together to have him take steps forward.

The beast didn’t react, simply staring him down as if he wasn’t important. Did that thing believe you weren’t important? Was that why it killed you? It made him even more furious.

“They wouldn’t have wanted you to live, I’m going to do what Batman couldn’t all those years ago for me,” His hand reached for his gun in his belt, clocking it before aiming it towards the monster’s head.

BANG

꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂ ꧁꧂ ꧁꧂ ꧁꧂ ꧁

Someone was here.

Your drones were your eyes in the city, scanning around like normal civilians to keep an eye out on misuse of your honey, or harassment of your worker bees. You deal with them before it’s been dealt with by the Bats.

You couldn’t afford to have Batman or the Robins to run amok in messing up your operations. You spent all this time ever since you turned that old warehouse to test out your abilities, figure out what made you a bee and what made you more special.

What you could figure out before testing, was that you can fly, but only in dire situations. You can crawl on walls and make your honey from your mouth. You can also listen to your hive, hear out what your little queen bee desires and protect them.

What you found out later after testing your body, was that whoever tastes the honey you make, you can sense them, feel their emotions and see through their eyes. Whoever tastes enough of your honey, you can control them, have them make their own honey that you can sell and distribute.

That was the honey you can use to help the world. Plants, animals, humans, you can help them all for the greater good. Your honey can change the world if they all just get a little taste to have you protect them, to rebuild what the earth has lost.

The only effects you ignored was the antennas that sprouted from your drones and workers’ heads.

It didn’t bring them any pain, no screams no discomfort when they first appeared on their heads. In fact, when you awoke that day it was when you figured out you could sense them all. You witness how they even got excited with their new attained antennas, tugging at them and watching them twitch.

Last but not least, your stinger. Your abdomen downward your back always swirled and glowed, yet you never figured out if it was the venom that you could shoot out from your little stinger. You never had the chance to use your stinger, so you concluded it to be a mystery for now.

Speaking of which, it brings us to now. You watched the sunset slowly going down, another day of building your hive. Lately, you’ve been having some strange… hallucinations. From the corners of your eye you could’ve sworn that there were people not part of your hive watching you, yet none of your drones or workers sensed them.

Your antennas vibrated, causing you to stop mid action from handing a drone a crate full of honey jars. The poor teen drone looked confused before sensing the signal too, hurriedly hiding behind you.

Your patrolling drone, she spotted figures on the roof, and you sensed her warnings soon after. Question is- which ones were they?

“Keep o-on with our route… I’ll handle them,” Your antennas twitched against his, and your worker nodded, pushing the crates of honey jars into the truck and shutting the doors. The truck slowly rolled out of the alleyway and you stood alone.

You waited, your glow now dim to lessen your obvious presence. Your head snapped up when you heard a shout from the roof, and you got into a defensive stance when a shadowy figure landed right in front of you.

“You get to live… when the corpse you have eaten was found by their family to suffer…” The raspy voice from the figure made your little hairs stand on end. You watched as the moonlight illuminated the figure to be Red Hood, hunched slightly as he walked closer.

‘The hell is this guy on?’ You wondered to yourself, your legs moving back ever so slightly. You never fought before, and the last time you even had a glimpse of these heroes they tried to kill you.

“They wouldn’t have wanted you to live, I’m going to do what Batman couldn’t all those years ago for me,” He croaked out, voice shaking while he lifted a shiny object in his hands.

Your eyes dilated, chattering on your thorax feeling your sense go off the rails. He had a gun, and he pulled the trigger.

BANG

Your body moved before your brain did, and one moment you were in a stance, the next you were sticking to the wall digging your claws into the bricks. You watched there a bullet hole was smoking out of the ground, right where you originally were if it hadn’t been your instincts.

‘He really shot me!!’ Your mind was racing, panicking was an understatement. You never got too close to the Batman or the Robins, knowing that they could easily break a few bones yet never kill. Red Hood was different, pull the trigger with no mercy.

But this wasn’t him from what you heard from stories… his body was rigid and erratic. He was filled with rage and is taking it out on you, yet you didn’t know why.

You needed to lead him away from your hive. You let out a guttural shriek before bending your legs to lunge yourself onto the side of a building, skittering up to the roof and waited. It only took a minute until Red Hood jumped onto the same rooftop,

You had to keep dodging. You never got into fights before as far as you could remember, you couldn’t risk causing damage to a body you don’t even know the strengths and weaknesses yet.

All you could do is try to run away from the direction of your hive, so that your drones and workers would be safe. Eyes flicking up to the buildings around you, you dodged another bullet shot at you just as you grabbed the lid of a trash can and hurling it at Red Hood.

He easily avoided the lid with another shot from his gun, looking to as you scattered up the brick wall, breathing uneven when you tried to open your wings to fly over the city.

You didn’t get far.

Feeling a sudden burning jolt of hot electricity throughout your body, you let out a scream of pain when Red Hood shot a taser at you, seizing any escape as you fell into the ground below.

“H…H-Hu…” You whimpered in pain, hunched over while small sparks of electricity formed around you as he stalked closer to you.

“This is for (Name),” Red Hood muttered with hate under his breath, fists clenching so hard veins bulged along his bicep. With a push from his boots, he lunged forward, arm raised with the intention to strike a hidden knife he had in his glove to go through your eye.

The knife didn’t go through.

You twisted your body so your other pair of hands flew out and grabbed his wrist, flicking it upward so that the knife would clatter onto the concrete. Red Hood instinctively used his other first to strike you, but you expected as much, using your other hand to grab his. Slowly, you stood back up, eyes staring him down with your glow become brighter from what looked like to be anger.

₵Ɽ₳₵₭

Red Hood let out an ear piercing shout of agony, watching his wrist bend in an unnatural direction, spurts of fat spilled out of the openings with blood shooting out. Your little eyes flickered to the injury, before snapping your attention back to Red Hood’s mask.

One swift move you swung him and thrown his body off the roof, making him groan just as you jumped off the roof too, the ground shaking as you landed. He didn’t react fast enough before you latched onto his jacket again. Lifting his body into the air, you used your scary strength to slam him into the ground, causing a crater form around Red Hood.

“Fuck!!” He hissed. He always got up after being pushed around like this, but you weren’t letting him catch his breath. You got tired of this wannabe of a mercenary trying to catch your drones, Batman tracking your hive down, the Robins attempting to kill what you grown.

With a hateful chatter, you reeled your arm back before landing a sick leaning punch into Red Hood’s stomach, sending him flying back and slamming into another wall. Hunched over, Red Hood felt like vomiting as you lunged again with quick speed, you crawled over him.

Grabbing his mask, you lower jaw unlatched from your upper bone, slowly stretching out while your thorax wildly swiped at Red Hood’s mask. His eyes watched through his broken lenses, eyes glowing Lazarus green as he struggled frantically, kicking his legs around to try and get you off of him when-

“I̍̅̀̎̊’l̙͖̑̾ͣl̙͖̑̾ͣ b̶̡͙̖̹̻̙̠̯͓͐͘è̷̛̗̳͚̙͇̘͍͕̊̑̿͘͜ b̶̡͙̖̹̻̙̠̯͓͐͘ā̤̓̍͘c͕͗ͤ̕̕ḳ̯͍̑ͦ b̶̡͙̖̹̻̙̠̯͓͐͘è̷̛̗̳͚̙͇̘͍͕̊̑̿͘͜f̵͖̜̉ͅo̯̱̊͊͢r̴̨̦͕̝è̷̛̗̳͚̙͇̘͍͕̊̑̿͘͜ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ ḳ̯͍̑ͦṇ̤͛̒̍o̯̱̊͊͢w̦̺̐̐͟ ỉ͔͖̜͌t̲̂̓ͩ̑, b̬͖̏́͢ư̡͕̭̇ḿ̬̏ͤͅb̬͖̏́͢l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕,”

Red Hood felt your steel like grip disappear from his helmet, causing him to drop onto the floor. His lended were cracked, so he saw fractured parts of you slowly backing away from him, shaking.

Your hands shook violently, your eyes going blurry and scattered. Your head began to hurt badly, as if what you were seeing was actually too painful to remember. You let out a wretched screech, a mixture of a human scream and an insect hiss before aggressively slamming your clawed fist into the side of a dumpster can, glowing eyes glaring at him.

“Next time will be your head, j̸͈̆͌̂̋̑́͂͜͠â̸̠̋y҉̃̀̋̑b̬͖̏́͢ỉ͔͖̜͌r̴̨̦͕̝ḑ̴̞͛̒,” You dripped out with a feral hiss, before using the giant dumpster can to throw it at Red Hood to block his vision when you finally managed to use your wings and escape.

Your glow dimmed out completely to avoid detection, getting on all fours to crawl through the shadows, sensing that you were being followed, but just for a moment as you saw another figure jump in front of Red Hood.

That you didn’t bother to deal with, you felt like something was about to explode in your stomach. Your wings eventually crash landed you into another alleyway, where the deserted buildings of Gotham stood.

“Queen Bee, all jars safely ported to Penguin,” A signal through your antennas vibrated through your body, making you chatter ever so slightly in acknowledgment. You crawled your way through the open window of an abandoned apartment room, trying to stop your shaking.

You then heard a buzz, causing you to look up and focus your vision to comprehend that there was one of your little bees perching on the windowsill.

“All r…report back to t-the Hive, we lay… low for now,” You panted, causing the bee to wipe its limbs together and flying out of the window. You felt the shaking going away, leaving you to breathe properly, your glow back.

You took the underground sewers to avoid detection, with the providing of Killer Croc guiding you. Yet while you returned home… your brain was still messing with you. What were those words… who told you them… who was Jaybird…?

���The hell… is going on with me?”

꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂ ꧁꧂ ꧁꧂ ꧁꧂ ꧁

Jason laid in the alleyway just as Cass found him. She panicked seeing his wrist twisted in a sickening way, yet what made her feel dread was his eyes. Eyes filled with fear… Jason Todd felt fear.

“Breathe…” She said while applying a spray to his wound to avoid anymore pain. He swallowed harshly, feeling his mask being taken off, where he finally was able to fully see Cass with her mask off too, and Dick who had a look of concern.

“Red Hood!! The hell were you doing?!” Dick scolded after figuring he was okay other than his wrist. Jason didn’t respond,

“T-That… that thing was here… I-I thought could avenge… (Name)…” Was all he could say. His anger and rage faded, now filled with confusion and disorientation. His mind was foggy, finally realizing how stupid he was to just run and attack that monster.

“We all do, but we have no idea what that thing is capable of,” Dick gritted, before taking a deep breath and hugging Jason. “We’ll avenge them, I promise. Barbara is making progress in getting through their phone,” Dick whispered before nodding to Cass.

They waited for the Batmobile to arrive so they could transport Jason without any further injuries. That gave him to think, to finally think about you. Your death… it didn’t make sense how your body was hollow, how that beast held you when they crash into the warehouse.

When that thing didn’t even say his name… but what you used to call him before it all…

Buzzzzz

“Bumble…?”

A/N: Ohhhh shit!! We got Jason connecting a few dots! Not really, but certain things never add up. Guess he’s finally paying attention to you in the wrong way.

Taglist: Taglist: @pix-stuff @jellystar-star @moon0goddess @bad4amficideas @lettucel0ver @lithiumval @degenerates-posts @ryuushou @deathbynarcisstick @silverklaus @artistwithcreativeburnout @middevil465 @jsprien213 @1abi @oliviaewl @redkarmakai @nxdxsworld @the-dumber-scaramouche @sc3n3mo-t3to @tw-om-gi-hs-56387 @bunniotomia @welpthisisboring @rad4bean @ithoughtthinks @reeyy0-2 @ceramic-raven @danart501 @esposadomd @ilovecoffe0

[andro-dino]

Mr. and Mr. Alabaster

(this is me being cringe but free THIS IS ME BEING CRINGE BUT FREE)

true to my word, I am currently rewatching root rpg just bc I miss celgene alabaster. I was thinking a little bit too hard about him though and ended up making him a husband, so here's Sonny! he has existed for like two days and already he means the world to me.

they r,,,,, important to me. idk man i just like the idea of this big ol grumpy, shady badger guy having an adorable rabbit husband who he calls cute affectionate nicknames and they both adore each other. THEY MEAN A LOT TO ME. i have like so many thoughts about their dynamic but i can't articulate them into words so im just like hrnrnrnrnrnrnnrnrnr!!!!!!! im thinking about them so hard guys you dont understand they r taking over my brain i love them so much

i have more doodles i'd like to make of them but i guess only time will tell how many of those i'll actually be able to get down.

[bardsonly]

It’s fursona Friday and I will not be stopped

[skellyjingles]

Made this silly little edit so I could have a cover for my ship playlist!

I had a lot of fun picking out and deciding the order of the songs so give it a listen if you're inclined :P

[ganondoodle]

utterly random late night panic thoughts but

if you read my zelda comic and like it i love and appreciate you but i really do need to be upfront about it being very much a self indulgent enemies to lovers story with a villain at the center that has done bad but isnt bad at his core and is struggeling to come to terms with the fact that he doesnt actually want to be the evil beast he and almost everyone else believes he should be

yes im one of those people ... fake villain fans or something ... i think .. i dont know the rules to that ... q-q

[toffeesbabbles]

i was feeling like being a little cringe today... whoops (my fursona is a snailcat btw, so she has two sets of eyes)

(i would be an absolute DIAASTERRR if I met ink sans irl it would be horrible)

[inamindfarfaraway]

Are there any fans of Lydia the Bard and her series of Disney Princess villain songs on here? Because I am one. And I've been listening to them so much that now I'm thinking of writing my own for Sofia of Enchancia and Elena of Avalor, with tragic backstories and all.

[purpurussy]

been feeling insecure in general lately

[ibbandflow]

i made some dream pop / shoegazey vocaloid music :D downloads are free. also put it on youtube!

[shirogane-oushirou]

A Cage of Guilt

* . ⊹ a doc!ren moodboard

🩷 🩵 🩷 🩵 ☕ 🩵 🩷 🩵 🩷 * . ⊹ div

ren wanders the city on his off days, enjoying the food and the lights and tucked-away shops. he decorates his space with trinkets he buys during his excursions, and he pins photos from his outings on his pinboard. an illusion of connection to the people around him. his mask is too strong to open up to anyone; he can't be more than the friendly doctor, or the friendly coworker, or the friendly customer.

in the end, he's left in his lonely apartment with his coffee and takeout, sitting at a table big enough for one. still stuck in the cage his parents constructed around him in childhood, perpetuated by his exhausting job run by people who shouldn't be in charge of vulnerable peoples' lives, until his emotions eventually build and explode.

[janop1]

sorry im gonna talk abt roblox but its interesting to me that a large amount of Regretevator’s cast uses multiple sets of pronouns and several of them even use neopronouns. maybe the bar is rly low for me idk but it feels refreshing to have such a diversified group of characters even if its just a roblox game

[styxxsyringe]

writing 5 page encyclopedias on my ocs and their stupid backstories is so fun but writing the story itself oooooh i can't stand the writing the story itself

[coastalshifts]

me: gets like three notes two of which are from my wife

me: hmm... should i really post art... (that said wife also drew)

[justcrafting]

I'm contemplating uploading the various one-shots and shorts that I have in my notes to Ao3 that are based off of various projects. Some are from longer stories that I have planned, some are standalone, and - originally - practically none of them were gonna be uploaded. It's a constant battle in my head between "you don't need to post everything you do" (which I don't) and "I like sharing things with people, and this could be fun!" I'm leaning more towards that second bit with each passing day, because I'm trying to be less restrictive of myself.

[rat-prophetess]

I have this deeply unfortunate condition where I cannot absorb verbal information without doodling, but also I have the drawing skills of young child and the permanently shaky hands of a wizened crone SO the results are. Unfortunate.

I am definitely making a great impression on my classmates and future colleagues by scrawling stick-figure patho characters next to them while they’re trying to listen to orientation lectures 👍🏻

anyway this (+ illegible handwriting) is why I can never lend people my notes. termitarywallart.jpg

[steelycunt]

how do you write poetry that isnt mortifying...how do you write poetry that is earnest...how can you write something earnest that isnt simultaeneously so mortifying that the only thing to do with it is destroy it 😂😂