#trying to imitate the season 0 feel

[sonicvoid]

I've been dead

Have a warm-up sketch

[bluelocksource]

Hiori Yō’s trivia (src: twt & Egoist Bible 2)

"Exposing yourself is only one aspect of ego."

☆ Character color: Light Blue.

☆ Weapon: Inspiration's Pass/ Supply of Inspiration.

☆ Birthday: 30th November.

☆ Current age: 16 (source) (2nd year of high school)

☆ Zodiac: Sagittarius.

☆ Birthplace: Kyoto.

☆ Family: Father. Mother. Himself.

☆ Current height: 183 cm.

☆ Dominant foot: Left foot.

☆ Blood type: B.

☆ Motto: "Life is not a game, but games are fun."

☆ Starts playing football: At age 0. "I was given a soccer ball the moment I was born."

☆ Team before joining BLUE LOCK: Bambi Osaka Youth (same team as Karasu).

☆ Hobby: Gaming.

☆ Favorite football player: Mesut Özil.

☆ Favorite animal: Sheep. ."My name is Yō (羊 = sheep), so I feel a sense of affinity with it. Meeee—*."

* He's imitating a sheep's bleat.

☆ Favorite season: Rainy season. "Can’t play soccer in the rain → stay at home → can play games → I like it."

☆ Favorite food: Sanma no shioyaki (Salt grilled Pacific saury) he even like the bitter parts. "I can handle bitter parts too."

☆ Food he dislike: Cotton candy. "Don't you feel cheated? It's just sugar."

☆ Favorite song: NieR: Automata soundtrack. "Let's try this game." "You should try this game, it's really great!"

☆ Favorite manga: Level E. "I like the scene with the smiling bug."

☆ Favorite movie: Ready Player One. "My otaku heart got excited."

☆ Favorite TV show: Monday Late Night Show. "I like how Murakami adds a good flovor to it."

☆ Favorite celebrity: Erika Toda "Congrats on your marriage!"

☆ Favorite brand: "Somehow, Square Enix."

☆ Magazines he often read: Jump and Young Jump.

☆ Frequently used app: Taiko no Tatsujin. "The one you play with your fingers."

☆ Mushroom shoots vs Bamboo shoots: Bamboo shoots. "They're crispy and delicious."

☆ What goes best with rice: Nagatanien’s (brand name) ochazuke. "I always have it with me. It’s a must!"

☆ What makes him happy: Being left alone.

☆ What makes him upset: Interference.

☆ What he thinks his strength is: Able to see things from a broader perspective.

☆ What he thinks his weakness is: Playing too much leads to a lack of motivation for other things.

☆ What made him cry recently: "I cried at the ending of 'Kaze no Klonoa'."

☆ Favorite/best subject: Computer.

It's written as パソコン (pasokon) which means Personal Computer, but it's just referring to Computer subject.

☆ Weak/least favorite subject: Physical Education. "I already play football, I don't see why I need to move around a lot."

☆ Ideal type: Someone who can leave him alone.

☆ Number of chocolates received from previous Valentine: About 4. "One was from a guy, so I was surprised."

☆ At what age he experiences first love: At age 10. "I was into Erika Toda from 'SPEC'."

☆ The first time he got confessed to: "A senior in middle school, one year older. They said they had been watching me, but I didn’t know them at all, so I turned them down."

☆ Fixation: Girls with broken bones (Influenced by Erika Toda in "SPEC").

☆ Average sleeping time: 7 hours. "I don't sleep when I'm gaming, though."

☆ How he spend his holiday: "Games. Games. Games."

☆ When taking a bath, which part he washes first: His neck. "I've heard it's full of nerves."

☆ What he usually buy from the convenience store: Yakult. "The health of intestinal environment is important."

☆ What will he do if he received 100 million yen: He would like to invest in gaming company.

☆ At what age he stops receiving presents from Santa: "Probably at 10 years old. My birthday is on November 30, so I was getting presents twice within a month."

☆ What was his last wish from Santa: "PS4 (now I’d ask for a PS5) and Nintendo Switch."

☆ What will he do during his last day on Earth: "Play as the killer in "Dead by Daylight" and get a complete wipe."

☆ Favorite historical figure: "All the people who created interesting video games. They are my saviors. Thank you!"

☆ If he hadn't encountered soccer, what will he be doing: "Probably other sports; either way, I think my parents would have made me do something."

☆ If he could only take one thing to a deserted island, what would it be: A tent. "It’s important to have a place where you can be yourself."

☆ If he had a time machine, would he go to the past or the future: The past. "I’d like to see my parents when they were active athletes. Maybe then, I could understand some things better and make peace with them."

* The crossed words are the changes made from twitter’s answer to the answer from Egoist Bible.

note: i want to apologize in advance for any mistake made in the translation!!

Last updated: 06/01/2024 05/06/2024 23/10/2024

[thesinglesjukebox]

DJO - END OF BEGINNING

Keeping up with TikTok pop while we still can...

[3.75]

Leah Isobel: I kind of want to be a hater about this. "Stranger Things star makes budget Ariel Pink pop about growing up, goes viral on TikTok" is an insufferable Mad Libs narrative pitch. The lyrics feel cryptic in a bad way, like Djo is aware that he's traveling well-trodden ground and straining to justify himself. And yet, his acting background comes through: his hammy Boris Pickett affectations lock him to the beat, keeping the song from feeling overly self-indulgent. It's still a little mushy, but that's not a crime. [5]

Nortey Dowuona: Djo has rightly seized on his captive audience in order to launch his pop rock career, but it thankfully hasn’t spiraled the way the Childish Gambino project did to the point where there are insufferable fans and detractors duking it out over its merits -- mainly because it’s too good to be dinged, but not good enough to be more than a popular actor’s passion project. Adam Thein’s limp drums, which have aged badly since 2022, can’t keep the overwhelming pace of the synth riffs or the lumpy bass left in the background of the mix. They support the toplines rather than drive the song, as many a baseline has done, but that then leaves the topline to hold everything up, which it constantly refuses to do. As for Joe Keery, he is no Childish Gambino before 2012. At least it’s short. [4]

Alfred Soto: The Stranger Things actor is too old by at least five years to have taken Twenty One Pilots seriously. [0]

TA Inskeep: Owl City 2024. [2]

Dave Moore: The verses are synth fetishism worthy of an awkward Stranger Things teen romance subplot (derogatory), followed by a pale imitation of a Sufjan Stevens chorus (complimentary). The ingredients sort of work on paper -- I am only human, which is to say a dork who was born in the '80s. But the song just sort of sits there, like it was designed to be vaguely apprehended floating through a pop-up beer garden. [5]

Taylor Alatorre: Are we just supposed to take these younger artists' word that their work is primarily inspired by genuine Nineteen-Eighties music, and not the phantasmal refractions of it that were being created between 2008 and 2015 (and beyond)? Because whatever points I take away for roteness and facelessness, I may give back for honesty. Anyway, check out Twin Shadow's new single "To the Top" if you get the chance. Sound of the summer. [4]

Katherine St. Asaph: This is by a Stranger Things actor and supposedly sounds like the '80s. What it actually sounds like is the driftier, understated parts of '90s alternative radio playlists. And as someone who owns the Carice van Houten album, I fully support TV folks making vanity albums that don't sound like what you'd think. [6]

Mark Sinker: He’s singing “tear to cry,” but I first heard it as “diddikai”, the Romani term for a traveler not fully Romani. Maybe you can make something of this – musician who fashions his artistic persona round not being the character he plays in a multi-season Netflix series! – but I’m not sure I sensibly can. The song is pretty and mannered and flimsy; he’s way not old enough to have the wisdom he thinks he has.  [5]

Isabel Cole: "I wave goodbye to the end of beginning" is a great line, capturing the moment when you might not feel particularly like an adult but understand, suddenly, that until recently you were very young, and now you are something else. I do remember twenty-four! Unfortunately the actual song is a plodding, soupy nothing. [0]

Will Adams: When you've got an admittedly gorgeous arrangement of languid, synth-smeared indie-rock, the last thing you want to do is sound like a try-hard; and yet, Joe Keery's delivery of clipping every syllable makes "End of Beginning" almost embarrassing to listen to. [5]

Ian Mathers: There are some choices here I kind of like (mostly around the lyrics and vocals), but the guitar tone, the chiming synth sound, and something about the production overall feels instantly dated, like I'm already looking forward to me five years from now hearing this and going "yeah, a lot of shit sounded like that in 2024." [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: An absolute nothing of a song – but I know, deep in my heart, that if I had encountered this as a college freshman it would have absolutely rocked my shit. Keery is seven years too late for me, but I'm glad this exists for those who need it. Will I still feel this warmly towards this mediocrity if I have to hear it out in the world for the next year or so? Well, that's not my problem right now. [4]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[erelavent]

My ranking of the F1 Vanity Fair photos from Worst to Best

There was a 2-way tie for last place, but this photo just makes me uncomfortable. The clothes are a part of it, but it’s not just that. The entire composition gives off an infantilizing effect. It’s the obsessive photoshop that removed all wrinkles coupled with the sailor boy outfit and the pose. I hate the entire direction. 0/10

This photo is giving me Ali Baba and the Forty thieves set in 2022 and not in a good way. It’s giving Disney Hannah Montana and Shake it Up levels of layering. The floral harem pants with the gingham jacket and organic print button up could have gotten a pass IF they didn’t pair them with the gold loafers. It’s too discombobulated for all of it to work. 0/10

I feel like I’m shitting on Este a lot but I just don’t feel like they put a lot of effort into choosing his looks. This look also ranks low because it looks like it's trying to be a modernized, formal version of a Canadian tuxedo seeing as it's imitating a distressed denim top and bottom but it lacks the texture of actual denim so it falls flat. It just looks like wrinkled silk. I also don’t know that anyone has ever looked good in a Canadian tuxedo (Britney and Justin included) so was there really a need to modernize it? I didn’t know people still wore Canadian tuxedos unironically. 2/10

Mon petite pilote Pierre, they also did you dirty with this nautical theme. Not as bad as Lando but still pretty bad. All those in favor of banning horizontal stripes say I. Adding grandma’s pearl floral brooch doesn’t help either. 4/10

I like this look. Shamrock Green is the color of the season (even though I think Valentino made an argument for Pink PP). It’s bold but also very simple. If I could find this look in my brother’s closet or Zara, it shouldn’t be in Vanity Fair. 4.5/10

The jacket is the only thing giving this jacket a high score. I want to know what it’s made out of. The tailoring is immaculate. The texture is great, the crisp lines are *chef’s kiss*. 5/10

Danny just lives and breathes bright colors. To me, I feel like this is the grown up version of Lando’s nautical look. The almost transparent cashmere knitwear with the ocean blue suit and the scarf that looks like it's supposed to imitate rope knotted into a belt makes me think of a sailor who opened a commercial cruise line lol. 6.5/10

I’m a slut for asymmetrical suits. The strong shoulders are obviously very masculine but the single button and bell bottom pants soften the look. There’s an interesting aspect of innocence in the direction of the whole photo. I like it. 7/10

I like this look. I don’t want to because monogrammed LV prints should have died in the early 2000s, and the shirt and pussy bow look like my deceased grandma’s carpets, but it just kind of works? Idk, I’m confused about it too, but it's such an interesting mix of very early and very late 19th century fashion that it kinda slaps. 7.5/10

This look is everything. I mentioned how Pink PP instead of shamrock green should be the look of the season and this is why. The glorious bright pink, silk jumpsuit is what I wish race suits would look like (but I know hell would freeze over first). There is enough contrast between his jumpsuit and the vibrant violet blue socks that I don’t even mind the severity of his black oxfords (I think they're oxfords anyways, it’s hard to see). 8.5/10

[lukesperfectharmonyhair]

im rewatching jatp instead of studying for the 3 tests i have tomorrow and i thought i would share my thoughts and reactions with each episode so enjoy!!....

wake up

- hearing the “1, 2, 3″ at the start of the episode gives me more serotonin than my antidepressants ever will

- julie’s slippers...that’s it...that’s the thought

- that dry ass pasta the molina’s are eating for dinner??? someone needs to give my man ray some cooking tips or a cookbook... something

-the looks the boys give julie when she says it was an OLD cd she found. as if they could be old??

-the entire julie and luke kitchen scene i mean there are no words to describe how much i am in love with scene. the banter, the flirting, luke giving this girl he literally just met an actual PIECE OF HIS SOUL so she can get music back into her life. not a single time have i watched that scene and not felt my heart literally grow cause of how cute they are. 

-the entire scene when julie is singing wake up. that scene is what made me literally CRAVE watching the other episodes. like of course i was going to watch them cause i wasn’t gonna just stop watching a show after one episode, and yes the show was good already but seeing the lighting and her voice, and just everything about the scene,,,,*chef’s kiss* 

bright

-flynn drinking seven sodas....SEVEN??? i would be throwing up if i drank more than like 2 and she drank seven,,,no ma’am.

- flynn and her trumpet. talented queen

- “ i wouldn’t have given you the song if i didnt think you were gonna rock it.” lmaooo im crying:)

- i start tearing up every time julie goes to play the first notes of bright,,, and then i’m full on bawling when the guys come in and play with her cause...they weren’t playing to be seen they were playing to be there for her and play to comfort her. pls i love them<3

- nick vibing in the front row

- the tech guy deserves so much more praise

flying solo

- reggie’s little butt shake or whatever you wanna call it!!

- julie’s little laugh when she yells at the guys to stop it

- “and we’re on the runway again” GENUINELY one of my favorite lines of the whole show pls i love luke’s humor

-this is the first time i noticed this but reggie’s face after alex says “DONT TELL ME HOW TO GHOST!”

-WILLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU<3333333

-the slow mo helmet take off,,,,me too alex me too

-willie’s little giggles:))))

- “oh-oh!”

- “no clue” alex i love you baby<3

- next season better give us a scene of flynn throwing eggs at someone’s house because i think it’s safe to say we were robbed of that experience. 

- the flying solo performance is just amazing

i got the music

- just the whole opening scene is so cute ....the dancing, singing, happiness RADIATING from julie 

-nick in an all white suit and fedora

-WILLEX MUSEUM DATE YEAH BABYYYYY

- carefree skateboarder bf and anxiety ridden drummer bf

- yelling. in. museums. 

-alex thinking he’s literally dying again because of the salt... zero braincells in this band.

- another scene we were robbed of that i need to see in season 2...reggie singing “home is where my horse is” while alex and julie sit patiently and attentively listen to him but luke looks like he’s about to commit murder

- i get SO MUCH second hand embarrassment for julie when she looks through luke’s songbook and says “ wow luke I didn’t know you were such a romantic” julie baby i love you but...eekkkkk

- “he looks like a substitute teacher”- where did he come up with that like so many other things he could be compared to but a substitute teacher??

- “luke introduced you to rock” heck yeah it did.. literal soulmates

- would like to see a picture of the raccoon in Flynn’s backyard

- wee woo wee woo police sirens://///

- julie’s outfit ughhhh i love it

- the poster that im pretty sure says “sexiest role” behind caleb... why was that necessary 

the other side of hollywood

- THE ENTIRE PERFORMANCE OF THE OTHER SIDE OF HOLLYWOOD 

- i lose my absolute shit over this song omg literal chills

- the cape grab i cannot physically do this rn

- willie being so excited the entire performance and looking over to see alex’s reaction

- reggie being in awe everytime one of the girls performing does something.. me too reggie

-”well i wouldn't really call it mAAgiCcCC bUT”

- nick and his fedora again

- alex has a crush, alex has a crush on.....WILLIE

-the boys eating food for the first time in 25 years is honestly so realistic

-alex shoving a whole slice of pizza in his mouth

- lukes ‘OH MY GODDDDD’

- reggie kissing his meatball sub that looks painfully dry but also delicious 

- the continuation of the other side of hollywood performance and everyone dancing

-reggie imitating caleb’s evil laugh and owen trying so hard not to break

-me getting mad at the boys for not showing up for julie and being sad with her but at the same time i’m obviously not mad at the boys just...disappointed?? idk 

finally free

- how did julie get to the school if she missed the first three classes?? wasn’t she still at flynn’s house from the night before cause she slept over so did she walk to school or was she just sitting in flynn’s house by herself and one of flynn’s parents was like you gonna go to school or???

-dance class with nicky poo<3

-reggie fixing his amp in the rain

-julie’s blue dress outfit in this episode is my ABSOLUTE favorite 

- the birthday candle scene makes me sob like a little baby,,,and rightfully so

- julie smart, smart to be taking calculus as what a sophomore??

- all eyes on me yes queen iconic

- alex dancing is how i dance in my brain whenever the song comes on 

- finally free as a song is NEVER given enough credit and why not?? it’s my favorite song they do as a band AND the madison’s vocals and the echoing part omg i loveeeee

- and the whole performance with luke’s heart eyes. i count this performance as the moment luke like fell in love with julie...like full on just blown away with how much awe and admiration he has for her in that moment and all the time.

 - julie and luke singing “and you’re a part of me” while staring directly into each others soul,,,yeah that’s love kids

edge of great

- carlos being the ghost hunter he is and tía being done with him

- luke’s pouting face 

- reggie and ray making breakfast together is so wholesome. reggie really loves and seeks comfort in ray and i love that

- luke just waiting next to julie’s locker and his little “hey”

- the first time i watch this scene i thought charlie was from new york cause of the way he says “ i can't do this without you” and then i watched the cast interviews and just realized he is somewhat joey tribbiani 

- jealous luke hehehehehhehehe

- “well dont you look shARrP”- yes he does luke thank you very much

- “uh oh i think someone has a crush on julie” yeah you do you little shit,,, now admit it to her

- the proud look on luke’s face when he realizes julie is still paying attention to HIM even though she’s supposed to be having a full on conversation with nick

- the shoulder push ( as someone who has had their own shoulder pushed in the middle of a high school hallway as a weird way of flirting,,,,i can definitely somewhat attest to how luke is feeling in that moment and i too continued to flirt with the person who shoulder shoved me while we were still standing in the hallway)

- the flow from whatever the hell dance nick and julie are doing and the perfect harmony dance is so special to me and i love it

-ADOANCLOBNAOVBCOAB THE HAIR PLSSSSS

- EVERYTIME THE SCENE COMES ON AND I SEE HIM WALKING THROUGH THE MIRROR I HAVE TO PAUSE THE SHOW FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES WHILE I DIE LAUGHING BECAUSE THE HAIR IS SO BAD EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD BE USED TO HOW IT LOOKS AFTER WATCHING THIS SHOW LITERALLY 30 TIMES

- i think people see my username and assume i like his hair in this scene but...ummm fun little fact i do not like it

- the dance is so good though ugh my babies

- the hair

- madison is gorgeous 

- another season 2 scene i need: julie teaching this dance to luke and they perform it in front of alex and reggie so they can see luke roll on the floor like that

-the hair

- the lift i loveeee

- the voices at the end of the song *chef’s kiss*

- the way julie spins out from luke and into nick omg so good

- “thAnKs pArTnER”

- luke denying his feelings for julie,,,babe pls

- the whole edge of great performance is so good and beautiful and the colors are SPECTACULAR 

-julie avoiding luke’s gaze lolz

- can't believe my mans really tried to deny he didn’t have feelings for julie like 5 hours earlier even though he’s getting upset because she hasn’t looked at him in 2 minutes

- THE. GUITAR. RIFF. SOLO.

- when i finally learn how to play the electric guitar well enough to learn the guitar solo... it’s over for everyone

-nick just came to watch the girl he likes perform not watch her flirt with a hologram plssss can we give this man a break next season.

- “we have to say goodbye to julie”- that’s literally more important to luke than not playing music anymore because julie is music to him now

unsaid emily

-already crying and the episode hasn't even started

-willex in the orpheum

- alex literally being OVER reggie

- nope too emotionally unstable to watch this scene right now

- my therapist will be hearing about this tomorrow

- show us the baby picture of luke cowards

- this is such a beautiful song that makes me cry every fucking time gosh damn it

- everytime i watch the flashback scene of luke on his bike i think of “christmas song” by phoebe bridges and i cry even more

- i tried to learn how to play this song on my electric guitar (because i dont have an acoustic guitar) and i ended up crying half way through so i do not think i will be playing it anytime soon:/

- the harmonies *chef’s kiss*

- THE POLICE LIGHTS ....i cry

- FAT tears rolling down my face

- there's literally not a moment i don’t cry during this episode

- interesting little relationship :0

- when i played percussion in 7th grade i used to lay down on the couch in the practice room at school ( which god knows what people did on that couch...ew) and stick my drumsticks up my nose too,,,, just another similarity between alex and i 

stand tall

- willie really drove a bus 200 miles into the desert for his crush

- WILLEX HUG 

- i love willie no last name so much,,,i just wanna hold and protect him

- alex’s ballerina dance

-julie’s overall outfit i love<3

- “im swimming”

- the way carlos hangs up the iPad on tía makes me CRACK UP he’s just lmao bye girl

- another julie outfit i love

- “anything julie. you know that.” AHHHHHAASIDSJFPACISN love bitches

- the suits

- luke’s hair in this episode is so much better than the perfect harmony hair pls

- YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE

- the way luke looks so restricted and confined in his suit... but at the same time he looks like a 10 week old puppy

-luke’s AGGRESSIVE but small foot tapping leading up to being on the stage

- the solos:)))))

- crying again over julie’s monologue to her mom

- julie really was brave enough to be ready to perform by herself

-the way Trevor looks at carrie when she says “been here before”

-ALEXXXXXX

-REGGIEEEEE

-luuukkKKKEEEEEEE

- this performance makes me cry

- especially the first time when i saw luke flickering...sobs

- he finally looks free in his suit:))

- alex’s solo is so pretty i love him

- reggie’s solo too 

- nick just straight up vibing the entire performance

- alex and luke holding hands...hehehe cute besties

- “thank you, guys” NO THANK YOU 

- the way julie begs for them to do something about the jolts for HER cause she knows luke would never say no to her

- “no music is worth making, julie, if we’re not making it with you,” I JUST SCREAMED AND IM PRETTY SURE I WOKE UP MY ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD...whoops

- going back to that line i could say so much about it but....for someone who’s life was literally MUSIC for the 17 years he was alive, and after finding out he could play music again even though he was dead and saying it made him feel alive, he would give that up- he would give up playing his guitar, playing in a band with his friends, give up writing and singing music- if he wasn’t doing that with julie. that’s more than saying i love you,,,that’s literally like saying i’d give up my ENTIRE LIFE and what i love to do if i dont get to do it with you

- i just made myself cry with that description...wow

-the hug<3

-also imagine how luke felt in that moment,,, hearing this girl, once again that he would give his life up for, saying in his ear that she loves them. i would motherfucking glow too, luke

- *passionately but gently holds each others faces*

-HANDS OFF MY BABY NICK, CALEB

- caleb’s outfit is....something

- the head turn plssss

this was so long and i am so sorry but if you read this far.....leave some of your own reactions or thoughts:)))

k goodnight im gonna, ugh, finally go study ://

[prettyboyjackhughes]

-It’ll all be worth it in the end- |M. Marner| [Part 2]

Here is Part 2!! Thanks again to @workhorsefromwhitehorse24​ for all her help on this! Love all the support on the first part, thank you!! Let me know what you think!

After the game, which the Flyers won 2-0, giving Carter a shutout, Grace and I convinced him to go out with us. Nolan tags along which means most of the boys will show up wherever we go. I was secretly hoping that Mitch and his friends would show up where we ended up but I figured it probably wouldn’t work out like that.

“Wake up Sawyer Mae.” Carter says, coming out of the locker room and snapping me out of the daze I was in. He obviously still wanted to know where I had been before the game.

“So now are you gonna tell me where you were before the game?” He asks, hugging Grace to his side. Nolan comes out, followed by TK and a few of the other younger guys.

“I got lost. I told you that. I don’t know this arena.” He crosses his arms and tries to hide a glare.

“I ended up over at the Leafs’ locker room and ran into one of their players. He showed me where to go.” This time, he doesn’t even try to hide the glare.

“You’re kidding me. Why can’t you just do what I ask you to, for once? I told you to stay away from hockey boys. Come meet me before the game so we can do our handshake. And somehow, you just happen to end up in the other team’s locker room?” Grace steps back, leaving the two of us. She’s been around for enough of our arguments like this to not get involved anymore.

“Hartsy, it’s not a big deal. She just got lost.” Nolan says, stepping up next to me. I glance up at Nolan and shake my head.

“Come on Carter, it’s nothing. You can’t control my life.” I say, stabbing my finger into his chest. I turn on my heel and walk away, linking arms with Grace as I walk past.

“Dude, she’s 21. I’m pretty sure she can handle herself.” Joel Farabee says, reaching up to pat Carter’s shoulder. Nolan’s eyes are on me as Grace and I as we walk down the hallway.

“You’re a good big brother, Hartsy. But she’s not a kid anymore. She can take care of herself.” TK says, nudging Carter.

“I’m the big bad brother who’s gonna scare all the boys away.” Nolan says, imitating Carter. Carter finally lightens up a little and laughs along with his friends.

“So what exactly are you planning? Does this involve the number 16?” Grace asks quietly, leaning towards me.

“Possibly...But you’d better not say a word to Carter. I’m not dealing with him throwing a fit again just yet.” Grace nods, but takes a deep breath. I pull out my phone and search up what little I know about Mitch. His instagram pops up and I click on it. Grace watches over my shoulder as we stand by Carter’s car. Suddenly, Nolan was behind me too.

“Uh oh...Another one?” He asks, pointing at Mitch’s profile picture, showing him in his uniform. I nod and press the follow button. Just as quickly, I type up a DM to him, saying hey and who I was. After I send the message, I hand my phone to Nolan to avoid any drunk messages or calls tonight. I’ll probably end up with Nolan taking me home tonight because Grace and I always drink just a little too much, leaving Carter and Nolan to take care of us. Carter finally gets to the car and we pile in, leaving Nolan’s car there for us to get tomorrow. It’s an oddly quiet car ride to Trilogy, the club we usually always start our nights out at. Carter hates it which means he and Grace will probably spend most of it sitting in a booth. Every once in a while, Grace can convince him to dance but he has to be in a really good mood for that.

“Your phone buzzed.” Nolan says, nudging me and handing me my phone as we park around the corner from the club. I follow him out of the car and check my phone as we walk in. His arm rests protectively around my shoulders, guiding me as I read what’s on my phone. Mitch answered the DM.

Sawyermhart: Hey Mitch, I’m the girl you tried to kill lol I just wanted to say hey and that I really liked getting to talk to you tonight and would love to talk to you more

Marner_93: Hey! Yeah, sorry about taking you out...Hope you’re okay. I wouldn’t mind talking, you do kinda owe me after the shutout your brother pulled on us tonight haha

Sawyermhart: okay okay Mitch. When do you guys leave to go back to Toronto? Wanna meet up? There’s a few of us going out tonight

Marner_93: Our plane doesn’t leave until late tomorrow night, probably around the same time your boys will leave. I’ll see if a few of the boys wanna come out. Where at?

Sawyermhart: We’re gonna start at Trilogy and then go from there. See you in a few?

Marner_93: Sounds good!

I look up as Nolan nudges me inside the building. Since it was early on a Tuesday night, the club wasn’t that busy. There were a few people wandering around, the music was pretty quiet too, for once, something Carter would be happy about. He always complains that when we go out that the music is too loud and he would rather stay home and drink there.

“Mitch and a few of his teammates are gonna meet us here.” I whisper-yell, standing on my tiptoes to reach Nolan’s ear. He looks down at me with eyebrows raised.

“You’re really gonna drive your brother insane Baby Cat.” I smile evilly and nod.

“Tell Travis to play nice.” I toss over my shoulder as I walk to the bar. I ordered Nolan and I both a Tequila shot, a little tradition I forced him to start with me a little over a year ago, which definitely started before I was legal. Before we can drink anything else or do anything else, no matter where we are, we have to take a Tequila shot together. As I’m walking back over, Carter is walking towards me.

“You’d better not get too crazy tonight, our flight leaves at 3:30 tomorrow and you still have to pack.” I nod as he passes me, then roll my eyes.

“I saw that!” He calls over his shoulder. As I walk back to the booth, I see a guy start walking towards me. Nolan sees this and stands, hurrying to my side. The guy saw Nolan and automatically turned around, I coughed, trying to cover my laugh as Nolan nudged me towards the booth. It was rare that I went out without Nolan anymore. He was the reason I had basically stopped getting hit on anymore, which sometimes sucked but it kept the creeps away.

“Cute boy watching you…” Grace said, sliding close to me as Nolan and I sat down next to her and Carter in the booth. I looked up and immediately saw Mitch and a few of his teammates who had just walked in the door. His eyes followed my every move. He waved and my stomach flipped. Grace practically had to shove me out of the booth.

“Go talk to him!” Carter overheard that comment and turned to look.

“No way. Sit down, Sawyer.” As soon as the words left his mouth, I turned on my heel and headed for Mitch. I could hear him getting mad like he always does and Grace having to talk him down while Nolan just laughed. I know Nolan is watching me, making sure he doesn’t have to step in and save me.

“Hey Mitch!��� I say, sliding in next to him at the bar. He turns to look at me, a drink in his hand already. His eyes light up and he grins.

“Sawyer!” He says, nudging the guy standing behind him, who also turns around.

“Oh is this the hot girl you tried to kill?” The guy asks, looking me up and down. Mitch and I laugh as the guy watches, amused.

“Yeah, that’s me. I’m Sawyer Hart. And you are?” I ask, glancing up at his face then back at Mitch.

“Morgan Rielly. Mitchy calls me Mo.” He says, reaching his hand out. I shake his hand and then glance at Mitch.

“Mitchy? I like that.” I say, laughing and nudging him. He blushes and shrugs.

“You said your last name is Hart? Oh you must be Carter Hart’s sister. Kid put on one hell of a show against us tonight.” I nod, smiling and feeling proud of Carter, even if he is a pain.

“Yeah, he’s my wonderful big brother.” I ask, trying to hide the excitement that I have that Mitch actually showed up.

“Yeah, he did pretty good tonight.” I nod, watching Morgan walk away from us, leaving Mitch and I alone at the bar.

“So...What are your plans for the off-season?” I ask, pushing my hair out of my face and taking a sip of the drink Mitch had ordered for me, a few minutes earlier. I try to hide the face I make, already knowing I’m going to feel this in the morning. Mitch laughs and I smile.

“Oh right. Um, my family and I are heading up to Lake Winnipeg for the summer. My parents own a lake house up there so me and my brother and his family go up there for the off-season.” I nod, smiling. As I glanced around the room, which was still mostly empty even with how late it was, I locked eyes with Carter, who, if looks could kill, Mitch and I would both be dead.

“Hey Mitch, I wanna introduce you to Carter and a few people.” I said, taking his hand and leading him towards the booth that we were occupying. Nolan moved over and Mitch and I sat down, our knees touching.

“Carter, Grace, Pats, this is Mitch Marner. Mitch, this is Carter, my big brother. Grace is his girlfriend and Nolan is my best friend. The other guys are Joel Farabee, Travis Konecny who I think played with you back in the World Juniors, Travis Sanheim, and Phillippe Myers.” They all wave and Mitch waves back. Carter’s glare gets harder.

“Great game tonight by the way, boys. Carter, congrats on the shutout.” Mitch says, looking at Carter who doesn’t even try to hide the glare.

“Thanks.” He says, the word coming out as more of a growl than a word. Grace and I both roll our eyes and I look over at Nolan.

“Shot time. And then you can go get me some fruity drink with too much alcohol in it.” Nolan shakes his head at me but picks up the shot.

“Bottoms up.” We both say, tipping them back as everyone watches, amused. Nolan makes a face like always while I stay straight-faced. He gets up, goes to get my drink and whatever drink he’ll nurse all night and leaves me with Mitch. Everyone else has scattered to either the bar or out to dance.

“So your brother seems to be a big fan of mine.” Mitch says, tipping his head back and taking a drink from his cup.

“That’s just Carter. He’s convinced that every guy is out to get me, maybe even murder me, and that he’s the only one who can protect me. He’s definitely calmed down a bit now that Nolan is around more. But yeah, he sucks.” I say as Nolan brings me back my drink then leaves the two of us to go find Travis.

“Ah. I get it, I mean if my little sister looked like you, I would be pretty protective too.” I blush and smile. As Mitch and I sit there and talk, the more my heart starts to flutter. If this wasn’t all just a game to me, I would’ve fallen so hard, just from spending one night with him. He’s funny, sweet, charming and actually out drank me, which is hard to do. And as I climb into bed that night, I know that things between Mitch and I won’t ever just be for fun. I’m going to fall but will it all be worth it in the end? That night was just the beginning for Mitch and I. Mitch and I played our little game for months. The longer it went on, the more mad and protective Carter got. And as I watched this go down, I knew I couldn’t give up and have Carter win. But the problem was, I was starting to realize that things between Mitch and I were changing. He was starting to become a bigger and bigger part of my life, even from almost 500 miles away. I started to look forward to his texts, calls and pictures more. I scheduled my life around Mitch and the times he could call me. And the longer it went on, the more I started to realize that I was falling for Mitch Marner, the boy with the blue eyes. So I did what I did best when I started to have feelings. I shut down. Grace picked up on it right away, realizing that the bubbly, giggly and very very happy Sawyer that had been spending all my time on my phone, talking to a boy I obviously felt something for, started to shut myself away in my room and stopped talking to that boy. Carter was a lot more oblivious, just happy that I wasn’t giving Mitch the chance to hurt me. He didn’t care that I was making myself miserable. He just wanted me safe and protected, no matter what it cost. Even if it did cost me the one person I cared about more than I’ve ever cared about someone.

I had avoided Mitch’s calls for days. He had texted, called, snap chatted, even DMed me on instagram.  And I felt awful for doing this to him but I couldn’t let myself fall. But one day, about a week after I first started icing him out, I decided to answer a call.

“Sawyer!” He says as I answer the FaceTime call.

“Hi Mitch.” I say, sitting on my bed and tucking my hair behind my ear.

“Is everything okay? I’ve been texting and calling for a week and you haven’t been answering. Did I do something? Did something happen?” He asks, concern in his eyes. My heart cracks a little and I soften.

“No, you didn’t do anything. I needed some time to think things through. Mitch, what are we?” I asked, watching his face.

“What are we? Like friends or…?” He asked, as my heart sank. He thinks of us as just friends.

“No wait, Sawyer. We’re not just friends. I don’t think I could ever be just friends with you.” My eyes widen a little as he starts to talk again.

“When this first all started, I didn’t think it was going to go anywhere. I’ve never heard of something like what we had lasting. I mean, a relationship that was only able to exist over the phone because of the distance between us? Yeah that’s not going to work. But the longer I let it go on, and the longer I talked to you and got to know you, I started to realize that the flutter in my stomach every time your name popped up in my phone was because I actually cared about you. Hell, I like you a lot. And now we’re here and I...I don’t think I can handle not having you in my life, even if this is how things have to be.” I froze.

“So, no. We’re not just friends. I don’t know what we are but we’re not just friends.” He says, finally finishing his speech. I watch him, seeing the honesty in his eyes.

“Mitch...I-I don’t know what to say.” I say, playing with my lip.

“You don’t have to say anything, I just needed to get that off my chest.” And somehow, after his long, drawn out declaration, it made me feel better. But I still couldn’t let those feelings out. So instead of addressing it, I made a joke.

“Awe, is Marner going soft on me?” I said, teasing him.

“Shut up Hartsy. I don’t know why I even try with you.” He says, rolling his eyes and laughing. We spend the rest of the night on FaceTime, something I had missed for the past week. Around 11:30, he puts on music which causes Auston to come into his room and yell at him to turn it down. I laugh, watching Mitch dance around the room as Auston stands in the doorway, shaking his head, wishing I was there with Mitch yet again. Auston waves to me then exits the room again.

“Sawyer!” Carter calls, knocking on the door to my room. He pushes it open and instantly a glare covers his face.

“Why are you talking to him? You're gonna get hurt.” He says, pointing at Mitch.

“Grace come get your boyfriend!” I yell, rolling my eyes.

“I swear, you hurt her and I will...You don’t wanna know what I’ll do.” He says, pointing at Mitch. I push him away, trying to get him out of my room. Grace comes in and gets him out of my room. I follow them to the door and close it behind them, resting my head against the door before returning to Mitch.

“I’m sorry about that, Mitch.” He watches me, having ended his little dance party, his eyes soft.

“Sawyer, it’s okay. But I don’t want to come between you and your brother. I care about you a lot but I don’t want to ruin what you and your brother have.” I shake my head.

“No, it’s fine. He’s too protective sometimes. This happens to be one of those times. He needs to understand that I’m not a little kid anymore and he can’t run my life anymore.” Mitch smirks a little, his eyes on me.

“Hey, so I know we’ve been doing this little thing for a while now, and I was thinking that maybe you would wanna come spend the off-season with me at the lake? I’d really like to spend time with you, not over the phone.” He says, resting his chin on his arms. I freeze, unsure what to do.

“Uh...I gotta go. Nolan’s calling me.” I say, panicking and not even giving him a chance to say goodbye. I sit back, leaning against the wall behind my bed. Grace pops her head in my door.

“Okay I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but I heard…” I look at her, not even upset, and reach my arms out for her.

“This is...This is the farthest I’ve ever gotten with a boy without Carter completely losing his mind. This was all supposed to be just a game to see how far I could push Carter. But I fell. Hard. I fell so hard for Mitch and now I don’t know what to do!” I say, almost to the point of tears. Grace sits down on the bed with me and pulls me into a hug.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. You know it’s only because he loves you and never wants to see you get hurt.” I nod, letting a few tears out and sniffling.

“Sawyer, you’ve gotta let him in. You need to let him know how you feel because I can tell, even from over the phone that he cares so much about you. Carter will learn to deal with it, even if it kills him. I’ll make sure he doesn’t meddle and doesn’t mess things up. Don’t worry about him.” Grace smooths my hair down and I shake my head.

“I can’t do that to Carter, Grace. I can’t hurt him that way. But I...I love Mitch. I don’t want to lose him over Carter. I wanna spend the summer with Mitch. I want Carter to not hate me because I chose to get involved with a hockey boy. Which I still think is so stupid. But I don’t want to be the reason everything falls apart.” I say, finally stopping the tears and sitting up to look at Grace.

“Sawyer Mae, you will not be the reason everything falls apart. Carter is an adult, he can get over it. You can’t let Mitch go just because you’re worried about what Carter will do. Honey, Carter isn’t your entire world.” Grace says, holding onto my hand as I stand up.

“Grace, I understand what you’re trying to do. But I can’t do that. I’m not doing that.” I say, shaking my head and crossing my arms. Grace sighs and stands up.

“I don’t think you’re making the right choice here, Sawyer. But it’s your choice.” She says as she walks out my bedroom door. I sigh and flop back on the bed. I pick up my phone and try to ignore the texts on the screen from Mitch. I found Nolan’s contact and press call. He answers and everything spills out.

“Mitch offered for me to come and stay with him and his family at their lake house on Lake Winnipeg. But of course, I panicked and told him you were calling. But now, I regret the decision.” He just shakes his head and tells me I’m dumb.

“Sawyer, you’re making a mistake. Go spend the summer with Mitch. You’ve been hiding it for too long. And I’m sorry Baby Cat, but you’re not even that great at hiding it.” I sucked in a breath, almost thankful that Nolan could read me that well.

“Nolan but I can’t do that to Carter. He...He would hate me forever.” Nolan shakes his head.

“Baby Cat, stop it. I’m tired of you worrying about doing things that make Carter upset. It used to not bother you but now, it’s the only thing you worry about. I want the Sawyer who could care less about what her big brother thought. I want the Sawyer who purposefully pushed Carter’s buttons, just to get to laugh at how mad he gets. That’s the Baby Cat I want back. Not this sad sack.” He says, pointing at me.

“So help me Sawyer Mae, if I have to come to your apartment and drag you to Mitch’s house, I will.” Nolan says, staring me down.

“I’m...scared. I’m scared that he won’t want me. I’m terrified that everything we’ve had, the phone calls, the texts, the pictures, is just happening by accident and isn’t reality.” Nolan shakes his head.

“Nope, you don’t get to do that. You’re going to Winnipeg and that’s final. Start packing, Baby Cat. I’ll be over in a few to make sure you are.” He says, ending the phone call. I lean my head back against the wall and sigh. Nolan gives me no choice. I have to go, but that also means calling Mitch and telling him that I’ll go to the lake with him for the summer. So instead of facing that reality, I choose to text Mitch instead.

Me: Hey...I’m sorry for my freakout and hanging up on you. I just wasn’t expecting you to ask me something like that. I’d love to spend the summer with you and your family. Thank you for asking me.

Mitchy: Really?!? Are you sure?

Me: Yes, Mitchy. I wanna spend the summer with you.

Mitchy: Great! I’m so excited for you to meet everyone!

I smile at how his obvious excitement comes across my phone screen and wander out of my room and head towards the hall closet where my suitcase is stored. Grace is sitting on the kitchen counter, Carter leaning against the counter next to her.

“Um...I’m going to Winnipeg for the summer.” Grace’s face lights up and Carter’s clouds.

“What’s in Winnipeg? We don’t know anyone in Winnipeg.” Carter asks, standing up. Grace presses a hand in his chest, trying to keep him in place.

“Mitch. Mitch is in Winnipeg. For the summer.” I say, crossing my arms, ready for another fight.

“You’re kidding me, right? You’re going to Winnipeg to spend the summer with Mitch? How? Why? Explain this to me, Sawyer, because I’m having a hard time understanding what you’re trying to do here.” Carter says, his finger stabbing in my direction.

“Carter, I care about Mitch. We have something good and I’m not gonna let that go. I know you love me and I know you only do this because you care about me, but so does Mitch. He won’t hurt me the way you think.” I say, looking up at Carter, pleading with him with my eyes and my words.

“Sawyer, I don’t want to watch you get hurt, you’re right. And I’m never going to stop protecting you. I don’t think this is a good idea. Grace, what do you think?” He asks, turning to look at Grace who’s been quiet this whole time.

“Carter, Honey, I understand Sawyer’s your baby sister. I know you love her. She loves you. But she is a big girl. She can take care of herself, and I know from all the phone calls and texts I’ve seen from Mitch, this boy is head over heels for your sister. I would never pick sides between you two, you know I love you both so much. But Sweetheart, I think you need to let Sawyer do this. If she needs you, she’ll come back to you.” Grace says, rubbing Carter’s shoulders.

“I’m not having this discussion with you two anymore. Sawyer, do whatever you want. If things go south, have fun with that on your own.” Carter says, walking out of the room, brushing Grace and I both off. My head drops into my hands and Grace sighs.

“I’m sorry, Sawyer. I tried.” I nod and try to smile at Grace.

“It’s okay. He’s just being a stubborn jerk right now. Maybe by the time I get back, he’ll stop being such an ass about everything.” I say, wincing as the door to Carter’s room slams. Grace shakes her head again and I leave the kitchen, grabbing my suitcase out of the closet as I walk past. I knew Carter wouldn’t speak to me if I really decided to go to Winnipeg with Mitch. And to be honest, after years of failed relationships because of Carter and Carter controlling every little aspect of my life, I didn’t care. I was going to make things work with Mitch, with or without Carter’s support. I dragged my suitcase back to my room and started packing.

“Grace! Can you come help me?” I called down the hall.

“Grace is doing something that I’m not entirely sure what she’s doing. I’ll try to help.” Nolan says, pushing my door open. I glance up, smile and nod.

“So you decided to go?” Nolan asks, taking the stack of shirts out of my hands and sets them in my suitcase.

“I’m going. Carter’s pissed and I honestly don’t care anymore. Grace tried to talk to him but he won’t listen to anyone.” Nolan rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

“It’s gonna be fine. I’ll come and visit you when I go home to visit my family. Carter will come around eventually.” I nod my head, hoping that Carter will see through the fog of his own protectiveness and see how happy Mitch does make me, even if I’m still refusing to admit my own feelings for him.

“You’re making a good choice.” Nolan says, gently squeezing my wrist, forcing me to look at him.

“Don’t doubt that, Baby Cat. It’s the choice that makes you happy. And that’s all that matters.” He says, smiling. I nod.

“I sure hope so.” Nolan nods and the two of us pack in silence.

[wayfinder-family-lover]

I am just thinking about Haru, Asahi and Ikuya friendship, I just love their friendship so much, like I feel they are best friends (beside their actual best friends obvi):

Like they spend most of their waking/free time together in their first year of middle school! They have so many stories about each other probably!

And post season 3, I just love imagining them spending time together, like Haru and Ikuya purposely singing in their heart at the Karaoke to pissed of Asahi lol.

Asahi: hey Ikuya remember when you imitate Haru back in middle school? Ikuya: I DIDN’T imitate Haru! Haru: Yeah sure, you can’t stop lying Ikuya

Watching tv show while eating pop corn or other things and argue about the plot and everything lol or gushing about the same things

Now it’s canon they all know butterfly and free, they do race from time to time (of course Asahi and Haru win respectively butterfly and free since it’s their best stroke, Ikuya try to make them do a breast but since Asahi doesn’t know they don’t lmao)

Ikuya and Asahi bringing back embarrassing stories of Haru and telling everyone lmao

Stupid contest and bet lol

Making jokes together and laughing for the stupidest things.

0 self control they are stupid together

Idk I just love their friendship (with Makoto too, but I feel the fact they were also in the same class make them a little more closer)

[samclownchester]

Supernatural Rewatch 04x14

Sex and Violence

(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)

Ah yes, the Siren episode where Dean has a male Siren :0 surely this is proof that he is attracted to men!?!!?

*deep sigh*

Listen, I think Dean is bisexual, I really do, however I hate when people point to this episode as proof of that because it is clearly doing something very different, and subversive in its own way. If you see him as being sexually attracted to Nick then … I mean, I guess. Whatever. Everyone has their own interpretations. But Sirens are not necessarily sexual beings, that’s what they’ve been painted as by a lot of media, but they are just supposed to lure you in with your greatest desire. What this episode tells us is that, as much as Dean likes sex, it’s not his greatest desire. Or, on another level, romantic love is not as important to him as platonic love is.

The idea this episode plays with is that the most important person in the world to you doesn’t need to be a romantic/sexual partner, which I think is GROUNDBREAKING.

It establishes early on in the episode that the siren doesn’t differentiate between different kinds of devotion. The one guy’s mom wasn’t a romantic threat to the Siren, but she was the most important person in that guy’s life, and so she became the Siren’s target.

“But Ray,” you say “the siren didn’t try to give that guy a new mother figure. It was still establishing a romantic/sexual connection with him! So why would it try to imitate the brotherly bond with Sam instead of just drawing Dean in with sex/romance?”

And the answer is: because Dean wouldn’t have responded to that. The guy who killed his mom surely loved his mom, but he probably still had a desire for romantic connection, hoping to get married and have his own family someday or something like that. I don’t think Dean has that. Sure, he wanted Cassie to understand him, and he has dreams of settling down with Lisa and Ben (and I’m not saying he has no romantic attraction to those women but you can also attribute that to amatonormativity) but at the end of the day what matters to Dean is connections that parallel his relationships with his father and his brother.

SAM You poisoned him.

MUNROE No. I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him, that he could trust. And now he loves me. He'd do anything for me. And I gotta tell you, Sam, that kind of devotion? I mean, watching someone kill for you? It's the best feeling in the world.

The Siren makes it clear that what it wants from its victims is not romance or sex, it’s devotion. It wants people to kill for it. That’s what it considers “love.” It saw that Dean was more likely to kill out of a brotherly devotion rather than a romantic connection, so that was the angle it went for with him. Dean would never prioritize a romantic relationship over his brother, he just wouldn’t.

And the thing about Nick is that … he’s not a carbon copy of Sam, instead he is everything Sam has never been, accentuating the things Dean wants that Sam lacks. He bonds with Dean over cars and music, two things that Sam has never really had an interest in, and, crucially, he doesn’t push for Dean to explain himself; he easily trusts his plan, and we know Sam has always pushed to understand the why behind everything they do.

DEAN It's kinda hard to explain, but I have my reasons and they're good ones, so you're just gunna have to trust me on 'em.

MUNROE Yeah. OK. I guess.

DEAN Thank you. That's actually nice to hear.

And, especially because Dean has already been feeling distrustful toward Sam, he falls for it.

This reminds me of in 3x01 when Dean is cornered by Lust, one of the seven deadly sins, and she isn’t able to have any affect on him. Like, we all know that Dean likes sex, but when it comes down to it, when he faces monsters who literally prey on people based on their sexual desires ... it doesn’t work on him. Lust got her head dunked in holy water and the Siren had to find a work around. 

The Sam/Cara subplot is obviously supposed to be a red herring, to make us think we know who the Siren is, but is also tells us a couple of interesting things about Sam and how his attitude toward relationships has changed.

First of all, we know he’s back in contact with Ruby, but we can also assume that after 4x04 they had some sort of break-up and we don’t know what their dynamic is currently like. There is also the possibility that they’re not/never were exclusive but given how monogamous Sam is I find that hard to believe. But who knows? That being said, he doesn’t seem to have any qualms about having a one-night stand with Cara.

DEAN You gonna say goodbye to Cara?

SAM Nah, not interested.

DEAN Really? Why not?

SAM What's the point?

DEAN Well, look at you. Love 'em and leave 'em.

Remember in season 3 when Sam said that he was going to become more like Dean? Remember last episode when Sam said he needed to “grow up”?

So, what I think is going on here is that Sam thinks he’s setting aside his kinda “childish” desire for relationships to last. Obviously, this isn’t actually a childish thing to want, but our society kinda paints one-night stands as like … I don’t know a masculine and mature thing to do? And Sam feels like he needs to become this … tough, masculine, unsentimental person. (You know, go against that gentle nature of his).  (also the demon blood is affecting him.) Additionally, this ties in to the idea that building connections isn’t worth it in their life. It’s something he pushed back against in Season 1, but Sam has started to learn that making any kind of relationship last is basically impossible in their lives, and he has stopped trying.

Now, the only reason the Siren had any luck turning the brothers on each other was that there were already issues arising between them.

Dean’s issues with Sam

Dean covertly finds out that Sam has been calling Ruby and lying to him about it. He pretends to have not heard Sam’s phone call and gives him an opportunity to just tell him who he was calling, but instead Sam lies, and Dean hates being lied to.

DEAN Well, I don't know when it happened. Maybe when I was in hell. Maybe when I was staring right at you. But the Sam I knew, he's gone. … And it's not the demon blood or the psychic crap. It's the little stuff. The lies. The secrets.

As a type 8, betrayal is a very difficult thing for him, and he responds pretty extremely. But it’s not just the betrayal, he also feels like his little brother has fundamentally changed. And he’s … not wrong? Sam is changing, he is a very different person than the faithful, sentimental, nerd that we met in season 1. Dean is scared of those changes.

Sam’s Issues with Dean

Sam has always hated being controlled. He didn’t like being ordered around by John and now he has Dean breathing down his neck and disapproving of everything he does.

SAM So I need your say-so to make a phone call?

I do understand why Dean is angry that Sam is hiding from him that he is talking to Ruby, but also Dean has a tendency to hate the idea of Sam having a life outside of the two of them and that’s not cool. I’ll probably talk more about this later. 

SAM OK, fine. You know why I didn't tell you about Ruby, and how we're hunting down Lilith? Because you're too weak to go after her, Dean. You're holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near. … You're too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in hell. Boo hoo. … You're not standing in my way anymore.

Hey, remember in Season 3 when Dean said “you’re stronger than I am” to Sam? Remember how I said that was gonna come back later?

Obviously later in the episode Sam claims this was just the Siren talking but ... we all know this was coming from somewhere. But it’s something Sam, in his normal state, would never say. (Like, taking that dig at Dean for his guilt about Hell?? Man, that’s cold.) But on some level it’s things Sam really believes. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was something Ruby had told him though … But anyway, this episode shows us that, somewhere inside Sam considers Dean a burden, and feels like he’d be more successful without him. This obviously doesn’t outweigh the love that Sam has for Dean, but especially at this point in his journey, when he’s all messed up by Ruby and Demon Blood, they’re thoughts he’s been entertaining.

W*nc*st shippers DO NOT interact