#trying to get them to sleep without them hearing me
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Storm - Mouthwashing
A/n: It's 1am, but nothing will stop me muahahahah! Give my writing a chance and correct me if anything, English is not my first language and I had a LOT of help from the translator 🫶🏽
•Pre-Crash!Captain Curly x Reader
synopsis/summary: You and Captain Curly talk a little during the night
Notes: I didn't specify the gender and I didn't talk about the relationship, it's up to you to see how you interpret it.
Drops of rain hit your window hard, thunder and lightning tormented you and took away your peace.
It was night and you were in the ship's kitchen, you couldn't sleep for some reason, but the silence and the moonlight projected on the huge screen were comforting.
Thinking of anything to occupy your mind, from how long a squirrel lives to worries about your current job, although you tried to push some of those worries out of your mind.
Somehow you got a job, only you didn't expect it to be here and like this, but it's good that you don't do much, it's good that no one got hurt and you need to take care of.
Due to sheer pressure, you ended up entering some area of medicine, although it wasn't exactly what your parents wanted, it's still something, but you would be anywhere else if you could choose for yourself.
You didn't want your parents to look at you like you had failed and disappointed them, it was horrible to feel like you were a failure, something they weren't proud of.
Do you sometimes wonder if a hospital would even accept you, would you want that? Maybe you would even do well? It's not what you want but-
"Awake at this hour?" A voice echoes lightly and a tired-looking captain is leaning against the door. You didn't even hear the door slam, you were so immersed in thought.
Captain Curly was one of the most easygoing guys you'll ever meet working at the Pony Express, and that's not to be rude, but there are very few people at that company who are easygoing with other people.
"Night snack break." You say with a shy smile, not expecting anyone to be awake at this hour either. "But someone emptied all the coffee."
He chuckles lightly before sighing, "I can't imagine who would be responsible behind such a crime." Curly rolls his eyes with a smirk on his face, then looks at you. "But something tells me that late night snack isn't what got you so focused that you didn't hear the door."
"Hmmm a captain really knows his crew apparently" You laugh a little and nod. "I was just thinking a little bit about... Everything, you know? There's a few more months to go, I think about 7 months or something and it's just as weird as it was in the beginning"
Curly listened carefully to what you said, as a captain he understood exactly what you meant.
Being in the middle of space for so long, with a group of people you're not used to, is quite something, especially for someone unfamiliar with being so far away from where they used to be.
Even he wasn't sure if this was what he wanted for himself, if this was the pinnacle of his life or if he should try something more and go beyond his comfort zone.
"So you feel like the things around you are devouring you little by little, you sink so deep into it that it's hard for you to get out. It's not bad, but you feel like it's not good." He tries to complete what was on your mind.
"You gave yourself away that you are or have been in the same boat captain" You look at him with a cheeky smile and start walking towards the couch. "or on different boats, but with the same destination"
Curly follows you right behind and also sits on the couch. You both stay in silence for a while, just looking at the moon.
"It's not the same as looking at the sky at night, but it's better than nothing I guess." You say without thinking much. It would be a lie if you said you don't miss being on earth, in your home and in the comfort of your room in your house.
"I think this when I look at the stars, it's even different when I remember that I'm in space with them, being able to see several everywhere.. Without light pollution" He says and another silence falls.
It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, quite the opposite, it was the most peaceful silence you'd had in nights. Just you, the captain and the stars, enjoying the company that each one could offer.
You look at the captain, wondering if there was anything he regretted doing in his life that brought him here.
It was no surprise that he knew what was bothering you in your thoughts, after all he is a grown man with experience in life, everyone goes through this questioning one day.
Uncertainty is what moves us sometimes.
You wonder if Jimmy is like that too, if there is anything he would do differently to be somewhere else or if he wouldn't change anything even though he might regret something...
He didn't seem much for talking about that sort of thing. Jimmy was always a mystery in his mind.
Him and Swansea. You knew very little about the two of them, but it's not like you knew much about the others anyway.
You knew that Jimmy and the captain were friends so he must not be as bitter as he seems, after all he wouldn't be where he is if he wasn't someone he could trust.
"So this is what they mean by staring into your soul" He laughs as he says this and you come out of your trance. You hadn't noticed that you weren't just looking at him out of the corner of your eye, but that you had turned your face to look at him.
You laugh at his comment. "Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude on the entrance to a man's soul." Sighing lightly you smile "Daisuke showed me a drawing of him yesterday, the boy is talented and expresses well how he sees places and people"
"Is that what you two were doing in the infirmary during lunch?" He asks curiously. "But I didn't realize you liked rock and metal, but the metalhead you drew looks nice."
"It's not a metalhead, it's Anya." You look at him like it's the most obvious thing and he's so dumb.
"Was that supposed to be Anya?!" Curly asked in disbelief.
You and he talked for a few more minutes, even though it was so late at night, maybe it would be morning in a few hours, but clearing your head at least a little was the best thing.
You yawned and realized that you were actually sleepy now. Curly yawns soon after and you both laugh lightly, agreeing that you would go to sleep now, wishing each other goodnight.
So the raindrops hit the window weaker, until they stopped completely, without thunder or lightning.
The next day you wake up dead tired, woken up by Daisuke questioning if you were still alive.
Soon you go to the kitchen together, talking a little about what you had dreamed about during the night. Anya was already there and so you and Daisuke join her, soon Jimmy and captain, arrives and-
"Whose metalhead drawing is this? It was lying on the floor" Swansea asks with the paper in his hand
"Not a metalhead!" You hear Daisuke chuckle and you swear you heard a chuckle coming from Curly.
A/n: I had another creative peak this morning and here it is, straight from the oven. I wish I had written something with Curly before writing something with Daisuke.🫶🏽🎀
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#tw jimmy#jambalaya#captain curly#anya#daisuke#swansea#we all hate jimmy#captain curly x reader#curly x reader#mouthwashing x reader
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Ugh I miss u sex with Riki bro like him coming home from tour I’m frustrated
“I Missed You So Much”
“did you think of me every-time you masturbated in your dorm?”
After their ‘WALK THE LINE’ tour, ENHYPEN finally got the chance to fly overseas to reunite with their friends and family. Although the experience was exhausting yet enjoyable for all seven members, they could finally relax—at least until they navigate through the throngs of enthusiastic fans and paparazzi. The pushing, shoving, screams, and tears were finally behind them as they settled into their first-class seats—something they could now afford, escaping the usual chaos of being followed even in the air. Riki sat at the very back by the window, headphones over his ears, resting his head on a neck pillow as he settled in for some much-needed rest. A soft ding interrupted his music. Riki glanced down, picking up his phone from his lap. A message from Y/N, his secret girlfriend back in Japan, lit up the screen. It read: “I can’t wait to see u ❤️.”
A warm smile spread across Riki's face as he read Y/N's sweet text. He quickly typed out a reply, "Me too, baby. Can't wait to hold you again." His thumbs hovered over the send button, but then he hesitated. Better not risk getting caught by the others, especially Jake who always seemed to snoop around his phone. Riki deleted the message and replaced it with a more innocent one: "Miss you already! See you soon!" Satisfied, he hit send before putting his phone away and sinking deeper into his seat, letting the gentle hum of the plane lull him towards sleep once more.
His phone dinged again and Riki’s 100% sure Jake would’ve twisted his head and asked “who’s texting you so much?”, but luckily he was slumped next to the seats beside him with his mouth agape. Riki chuckled before snapping a pic, preparing to use it for blackmail. He quickly checked Y/N’s message and it read: view picture. He dubiously viewed the picture and he inaudibly gasped. Y/N’s shirt was lifted with her perky titties in frame with the letters blocking her nipples like a tease. “I really need you.” Riki felt a stirring in his loins as he gazed at the provocative photo, his eyes lingering on Y/N's tantalizing cleavage. He bit his lip, trying to stifle a moan. Damn, she knew just how to make him ache for her. He couldn't wait to get his hands on those perfect tits again, to taste her skin and hear her breathy pleas for more.
With a smirk, Riki typed out a response, keeping his words light and playful to avoid arousing suspicion. "Mmm, I really do need you too, baby. But we have a few hours till we land. Why don't you play with yourself while thinking about me?" He attached another sultry selfie of himself lounging comfortably, his bulge barely concealed beneath his pants. "Get me hard for our reunion." Riki let out a low chuckle, his fingers tapping against the armrest of his chair in anticipation. His mind wandered to their last encounter, the way she'd writhed beneath him, crying out his name as he pounded into her tight little pussy. The memory alone was enough to make his cock twitch inside his pants. With a sigh, he decided to drift off with that thought.
.
.
.
As Riki approached Y/N's apartment building, a sense of relief washed over him. Being surrounded by his loving family had been wonderful, but there was no denying that he craved the intimacy and passion he shared with Y/N. He quickened his pace, his heart racing with anticipation as he climbed the stairs to her door. Taking a deep breath, Riki knocked softly, hoping she wouldn't keep him waiting. When the door swung open, he was greeted by Y/N's radiant smile, her eyes sparkling with adoration. Without a word, Riki pulled her into his arms, claiming her lips in a searing kiss filled with pent-up desire. He needed her, wanted her, and nothing else mattered in that moment. Riki shoved her back into the apartment with the wet kiss, pushing the door back close with a soft kick.
Riki's hands roamed over Y/N's curves as he backed her against the wall, breaking the kiss only to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses along her jawline and down the column of her throat. He nipped and sucked at her sensitive skin, leaving a path of love bites in his wake. "Missed you so fucking much," Riki growled against her ear, his voice husky with lust. He ground his hips against hers, the hardness of his arousal pressing insistently against her belly. "Need to be inside you, Y/N. Now." Without waiting for a response, Riki scooped her up into his strong arms, carrying her towards the bedroom as he devoured her mouth once more. The world outside faded away, leaving only the two of them lost in their desperate hunger for each other. Riki laid Y/N gently on the bed, his hands roaming her body as he kissed a fiery trail down her chest. He paused to worship her breasts, sucking and nibbling at her pert nipples until they pebbled under his attention. Y/N arched into him, her fingers tangling in his hair as she gasped and whimpered with pleasure.
"Please, Riki," she panted, her hips bucking upwards in search of friction. "I'm so wet for you. Fill me up, baby." He grinned against her skin, his cock throbbing with need. He slid down her body, kissing and licking a path to her dripping core. "Oh, I plan to," he murmured, burying his face between her thighs and inhaling deeply. "Fuck, you smell incredible." He left one last kiss on her inner thigh before adjusting himself between her thighs.
His rigid erection brushing against her slick folds. He looked up at her, his dark eyes smoldering with raw desire. "Fuck, I’ve missed you, Y/N," he urged, his voice thick with lust. "Hmm, this wet pussy," Y/N's breath hitched, her gaze locked onto Riki's as she reached down to guide him to her entrance. "I want you to fuck me hard," she whispered, her voice trembling with need. "Make me scream your name until my throat is raw." Riki groaned, his control slipping at her bold demand. With a swift thrust, he buried himself to the hilt inside her, stretching her walls deliciously around his thickness. "Oh, fuck yes," his eyes rolled as he began thrusting into her tightness. Her mouth falls agape with desperate pleas escaping her short breath. “Uh huh, yeah, fuck me harder,” she nodded, encouraging him to go faster.
Riki gripped Y/N's hips tightly, pounding into her with reckless abandon as he chased his impending release. Her inner walls clenched around him, milking his cock with every thrust. The sound of skin slapping against skin and their ragged breathing filled the room, creating a primal symphony of lust. "You're so damn tight," Riki grunted, sweat beading on his forehead as he drove deeper. "Take all of me, baby. Every inch." Y/N's cries grew louder, her nails digging into his arms as she teetered on the edge. "Riki! Oh god, Riki!" she wailed, her body tensing beneath him. With one final, brutal stroke, Riki felt Y/N convulse around him, her orgasm crashing over her in waves.
Riki's climax hit him like a freight train, his vision blurring as he spilled himself deep within Y/N's spasming heat. He collapsed on top of her, his heavy breaths mingling with hers as they both rode out the aftershocks. He rolled off her, pulling her close as they lay entwined in the aftermath of their passionate encounter. Riki pressed a soft kiss to her temple, feeling content and sated in a way that only Y/N could provide.
#enhypen#enhypen smut#nishimura riki#riki nishimura x reader#enhypen niki#ni ki#riki x reader#enhypen riki#kpop smut#fanfic#smut prompts
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It's 2 am and I am being plagued with thoughts of girl dad Wolverine. I watched several of the X-men movies recently and the amount of teens that he's forced to interact with despite not being a legitimate professor??? wild. This smelly, alcoholic, wanderer just seems to have a talent for collecting teen girls? They like legitimately trust him for some reason. And I kinda get it don't get me wrong. I adore the way he treats the young ladies in the movies and animated shows, it's just the loyalty that they return that's kinda captivating.
Like. I cannot stop thinking of Logan being assigned as the back up chaperone for the girls. Especially for missions. Of course if they take teen girls out on a mission they try to bring a lady professor along too. Usually storm, She is really pulling some den mother hours across the franchises. But in the absence of her or Jean, I think Logan must naturally be the back up option for the girls. And not just by their own election either. Although it's incredibly funny to picture them all collectively discussing who they want to be in charge of them and telling Scott (who i love, but also love to fuck with) That they all voted and the male teacher they trust the most is fucking Logan of all people. The insult???
But also Charles would think it's a great idea, not only because it gives Logan a responsibility that'll keep him in place and on task, but also because Wolverine canonically can smell people up to half a mile away and has super enhanced hearing.
Like the grubby asshole is probably gonna pass out in the living room of whatever safe house with a beer in his hand, but he'll also be strategically placed between all entrances and the boys half of the house, and the girls. You cannot get past him. He's a sleeping guard dog.
Imagine with me for a moment, a room full of teenage boys their girlfriends just ten feet away, away from the school and the psychics for once, with distracted guardians off planning or passed out. All collectively hovering in the doorway of their temporary room, knowing that if they take two steps into the living room that bottle is flying at their heads. Just trapped in there.
One girl tries to sneak past him early in the night and without opening an eye he just says, "Don't even think about it."
Just Logan in his most natural guard dog state.
The frustration vs the reassurance of the teens. Absolutely no one is getting within three thousand feet of them without him knowing. And that means they can't get away with shit.
#james logan howlett#x men#Wolverine#x men movies#x men 97#scott summers#jean gray#xmen storm#rogue xmen#kitty pride#laura howlett#ororo munroe#girl dad logan howlett#girl dad wolverine
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girl next door 🏠 - 3
a/n: forgot to post this on here my bad 🫣 saw someone ask about a taglist for this story— let me know if you wanna be added to that :)
“You just had to pick somewhere in town for dinner? You know how the traffic is on the weekend.” JJ grumbled as they finally pulled into the parking lot of a new restaurant in town.
“I only picked it because last time we went out you not so subtly mentioned wanting to try a new place. Plus you didn’t even have to drive. Now come on, our reservation is for 8 and we’re cutting it a little close.” Emily answered as the women both exited the car.
They made it into the restaurant and were almost instantly seated. Emily pulled JJ’s seat out for her in an act of chivalry that had always been there since they’d met and they both settled to look over their menus. As the two women decided on a bottle of wine they missed the younger woman seated just three tables away from them. Y/n sat with a grimace as she listened to her date drone on about her work life and ab routine.
This was her first date in the DC area and she was starting to regret letting Grayson talk her into this. She’d been single for a while and if Susan was any indication of the DC dating pool, she’d be single for way longer. She’d matched with Susan on a dating app and they talked for a few days before setting up this date. Susan was beautiful, no doubt, but that seemed to be the only thing she had going for her. She’d basically spent the entire evening talking about herself and it was not looking good. She’d been in the city for about a month and a half and all Grayson could talk about was her needing to get laid. As she sat and listened to the older blonde drone on, she was really trying to decide how important an orgasm was to her right now.
“It really has been such a tough year at the firm though. They’d really be lost without me.” As the words left Susan’s mouth and Y/n fought an eye-roll, the waitress serving the other table turned and bumped into the woman’s back.
The teen turned around with an apology on her lips, but the disgust on Susan’s face was clear as day. She grumbled out a response but turned to Y/n to complain. “I can’t believe they’d just hire anyone here. I think she dented my hair, I’m gonna go fix this mess in the bathroom.” Susan left the table and Y/n sighed. She was not worth the hassle. She pulled her phone out to shoot a text to Grayson.
y/n: this is the worst date i’ve been on… like ever
gray: oh it can’t be that bad. She was so hot.
y/n: well that’s all she’s got going for her. she’s in the bathroom right now fixing her hair because a waitress barely touched her.
gray: oh that is not hot… this is disappointing. you know you wouldn’t even be on this date had you already made a move on your sexy fbi neighbors.
y/n: gray get serious. they’re literally married to each other??? why would i make a move on either of them?
gray: well you and i both know you don’t just want to sleep with one of them. if you had it your way, you’d be sandwiched between both of them. which i think you could be, if you weren’t such a pussy.
Y/n huffed an exasperated laugh as she readied her fingers to reply. What she didn’t expect was to hear her name floating over her shoulder. She turned around in confusion and was even more surprised to see JJ leaning back in her chair with a smile. “JJ? Oh, Hi!” the younger woman responded hoping the low light was hiding the blush coloring her cheeks. She watched as the older woman got up from her table and came to lean against her chair.
“Hi sweetheart, what are you doing here? Are you alone?” JJ asked curiously. She chose to ignore the term of endearment that slipped from her lips, of course.
“Uh no. I’m actually on a date right now.” Y/n said gesturing to the other glass of wine across from her.
JJ’s eyes widened a bit in surprise and she couldn’t stop her eyes from roaming the restaurant for the potential date. Coming up with no leads she brought her eyes back to Y/n, “Oh really? And how is that going?”
Y/n looked around before whispering to the older blonde, “Terrible.”
JJ laughed cheekily as she gazed at the younger woman’s pout. Y/n shook her head in exasperation before grabbing the glass of wine she’d been nursing for the whole night. “I really hope this isn’t an indicator of how dating in DC is going to be for me. Where’s Emily?”
“Awe, they can’t be that bad, can they? She’s gone to the bathroom.” JJ said looking over her shoulder and seeing the brunette heading over to her. “Oh, here she is.”
“Jen, what are you– oh. Hi Y/n, what are you doing here?” Emily asked in shock allowing her hand to settle at JJ’s waist.
“She’s on a bad date. What took you so long?” JJ wondered as she rested her hand on Y/n’s shoulder unconsciously stroking the bare skin in comfort.
“Oh, that sucks. I got stuck waiting for this god-awful woman to finish fluffing her hair at the sinks. She was complaining about the incompetent staff knocking her coiffed hair out of place. God, I hate people like that.” At the older woman’s explanation, the younger of the three downed the rest of her wine with a grimace and sigh.
“Oh my god, is she your date?” JJ asked giddily.
“Unfortunately. She’s spent the entire evening talking about her law firm and ab routine, and then this happened. Now I must suffer through this evening and think of a way to ghost her.” Y/n whined.
“How did you end up with someone like that?” Emily wondered aloud.
“She didn’t seem like this when we matched. I’ve honestly been so shocked all evening. Trust, there won’t be any more dates after this.”
“Oh poor baby,” JJ started when she spotted a huffy blonde making her way over. “Looks like she’s coming back. We’ll be over there, just cough really loud or something if you need to be saved.” JJ winked, linking her hands with Emily’s and going back over to their table after Y/n nodded in understanding.
Once back at their table, both women couldn’t help but stare. “Well one thing for sure, she’s into women. And we seem to fit her type.” JJ smirked as she watched the younger woman nod along while her date rambled.
“And I’ll drink to that!” Emily grinned and she and JJ clinked their glasses together. Eyes still trained on their beautiful neighbor.
#emily prentiss x reader#criminal minds x reader#jennifer jareau x reader#jemily x reader#gnd series#msschemmenti
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Pause: Mitch Keller x Reader
Tagging: @kmc1989 @dolphs-darling @Watermeezer @queenslandlover-93 @redpool
Companion piece to:
Her Name Was Lola - You meet Mitch's wife.
Lola becomes the third wheel in your relationship. There’s been a war brewing between the two of you since she turned up in Tulsa, a silent one that’s waged every night she steps into the casino and sits herself at the bar.
“Why haven’t you banned her?” You ask, furiously wiping down the counter and Mitch sighs as he adjusts his cap.
“Because Sunny, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” Mitch explained and you’d clenched your jaw so you didn’t bite back with something truly scathing.
You understand the sentiment behind it, Mitch wants that divorce and he wants it as soon as possible but having Lola here, it’s detrimental to your mental health. Part of you wants to claw her damn eyes out and the other part wants to sob, because the evidence of the promise that Mitch broke it’s staring you right in the face, wearing his class ring.
The only solace is those nights when you’re on stage. You sit up there strumming a tune, singing your heart out and for a moment Mitch’s entire attention it’s focused on you. You can’t express how good that feels, to be the centre of his world again, the only woman he has eyes for. It’s gone the instant you step off because he’s back to Lola, pleading his case.
“I feel like we’re drifting apart a little.” You say to him later that night when everyone else is gone and the two of you are putting away the glasses. “I feel like you don’t see me anymore.”
“That’s not true, Sunny girl.” He sighs as he places his hand on the bar. “I just want this so badly.”
“Well maybe don’t.” You say, your fingertips hooking on the loops of his jeans and drawing him taut against you. “Maybe just enjoy the time we have together, without her and wait the year it takes.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to marry me?” He asks as he looks into your eyes and you can see the hurt reflected in them as your palms come to rest on his chest.
“I’m just saying put it on pause for now.” You tell him.
“Pause.” He repeats, his hands clasping yours to his heart. “We’ve been on pause before and it damn near ruined us. I want to move forward, I want to marry you-”
“I want that too but this situation, it’s not good for us.” You whisper as his forehead comes to rest upon yours. “Mitch, I can’t…”
Your voice breaks and he closes his eyes, his nose bumping lightly against yours.
“Sunny.” He says firmly. “We are almost at the finish line.”
“No Mitch, you’re almost at the finished line.” You say pushing him away. “I fell behind ten miles ago but you’ve just been too focused on the goal to notice.”
“Sunny…” He begins but you’re already drawing away from him.
“I have to go.” You say, picking up your guitar case. “I can’t be here right now.”
You leave then and Mitch, he lets you because he knows better than to follow you when you get that resigned tone in your voice. When he gets home that night the lights are off and there’s no trace of you, he realises there’s clothes missing, the overnight bag you usually take on tour.
It’s happening again, he realises. You’re leaving him because Mitch, he just doesn’t fucking listen. He hasn’t been hearing what you’ve been trying to say to him for weeks, you can’t cope with Lola being in his life, you can’t stand to see another woman with his ring on her finger.
You pick up when he calls, he hears the sound of traffic in the background and he knows you’ve already left Tulsa.
“Where you headed?” He asks despondently as he leans back against the door frame of the bedroom, his gaze fixed on the bed he's sleeping alone in tonight.
“Dallas.” You say softly. “There’s a couple of places down there that will give me a gig. Probably Houston after that, Memphis, Nashville.”
It feels like you’ve plunged a knife into his chest. With each stop you get further away from him and Mitch isn’t sure that you’ll ever come back.
“Will you come home Sunny?” He pleads, his voice breaking as he says the words “Please?”
“No Mitch.” You say, and he hears the resolution in your voice. “No, I can’t.”
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shifting to the 60s
hii I havent posted in a while, I've been trying re group from multiple shifts while getting my life back in order but I think I'm back.. Anyway I have a bunch of stories from so many places I'd like to share and im currently working on how I want to post them. But I don't see a lot of storytimes so I think it would be fun to share some. So i'm gonna rant about some shorter ones here.
shifting with sleep paralysis
I wanted to talk about this shift because it stuck out to me and I can't stop thinking about it.. I had shifted about 2 times in the span of 30 seconds. For a whole week back in October I was waking up at 3-5 am in the morning without being able to go back to sleep. So as you can guess I woke up at around 4 am and was restless. At around 6 am I got tired again so I started my method and I know people say that symptoms don't exist but in the time that I have shifted all I can say is that I disagree.. Anyway, one moment I was saying affimations and then the next I woke up all tingly and in a weird sleep state I've never been in before. I didn't even say to myself I wanted to shift I just did. It was like my mind was on autopilot. Didn't say affimations, didn't go through my script in my head, didn't even try to use the 5 senses. I just started seeing myself in 1st person and what I would be doing in my dr without any forethought and shifted. The first shift, I was on a track running with a couple of men and we all were wearing 60s running wear. I had an orange and red tank top with matching orange shorts. It had felt like there was an orange filter in this reality.. if that makes sense. I was on the track about to run and I just recall looking around laughing.
When I shifted to this moment its like I felt my consciousness leave my body; Which is the weird part because I've never really experinced this before. It felt like I was being pulled up by something and all I could hear was constant noise. I don't even know what noise I was hearing it was like someone was screaming right in my ear or veryyy loud ringing/static. The noise was SO loud. I was in the middle of sprinting when I shifted back because I thought I was the one making the noise, I thought I was screaming..Thankfully it was not me. But When I came back I was still In that state and I could look around me but my eyes were still closed. It's like I was seeing everything from a different perspective. There was a spider crawling on my wall right next to me when I shifted back so I freaked out and the noise got even louder ! The spider was leaving black spots all over my wall,, I could not figure out what was going on in the moment ( when I was writing this in my journal I figured out it was sleep paralysis ) It felt like I was tripping on a bunch of pain killers when I shifted back. I still couldn't move so I shifted again to the same reality but this time I was in the shower... the noise got even louder. The noise made it feel like a bad trip and I ended up shifting back here to try and stop it. It took my like an hour to get out of sleep paralysis. Unlike the method, this reality was very enyjoyable. It felt like a Nina Brodskyaya song, I lived alone and I was successful. I think I worked at a cigarette company, which is ironic because I hate smoking. But I don't know for sure as I didn't stay long enough to find out.
Lumari is a country I scripted, Forlina being one of its nations.
This reality was late 70's early 80's and one of my favorite drs. I stayed here for about a year. I was in Forlina living in an all girls home. Forlina gives free housing to students so I moved out of my parents house to start collage. About six girls are given a room to share together, don't worry they are pretty big. I loved our room. It had big sliding windows that gave a view of the tropical forest. We each had sunken in beds, some girls who were home sick shared beds for a couple of weeks. It took me a while to get use to the amount of noise in the morning. There was this one girl who would blast music on the radio while getting ready. I only had to worry about this sometimes because I woke up pretty early. Art was one of my classes and the professer would make the class times either 7 am or 9 pm which also took me some time to get use to. idk the guy was kind of weird. I rode my bike everywhere here. I miss being able to ride down a bike trail and see the ocean. I've been thinking about shifting back here for some time. I might post more about this reality in more detail later.
<3
#reality shifting#shifting#shiftblr#shifters#shifting blog#shifting community#shifting stories#shifting motivation#desired reality#reality shifter#shifting antis dni#shifting storytime
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!TRIGGER WARNING!
Semi Graphic depictions of violence. There are also bones being reset. Blood.
The 141 knew O'Conner was strong. Her dead lift was the second highest for the overall base, she's able to pin most soldiers with consistency using a lot of leg work. She carries significantly more equipment than most on the team with her medical supplies bag on her back most missions. Roach has the heaviest load out with the communication equipment he carries but even he struggled with her load out.
Ghost made Roach and Soap run 5 laps with Doc's full load out after both of them thought it would be funny to pretend to blow themselves up. Doc agreed to the punishment gathering enough of her gear for them to wear. The two were quick to realize that, though O'Connor's load out didn't look bulky or cumbersome, it was how and where it was placed that made it difficult to wear. Almost all of her medical supplies sat on her hips and upper thighs, that combined with her wearing the standard tactical gear (Kevlar vest and plates, radio, extra clips, side arm, knife, and flash bangs) it was a heavy load out. The two boys found it difficult to run, having their stride and gate being affected by the extra weight. So the fact that she can keep up with them without any noticeable issues was impressive. They all knew Doc was strong ,it wasn't up for debate. Its different, though, to see numbers on a paper and to see something in action.
Task Force 141 were sent on a simple reconnaissance operation, find information on a missing British general and squadron of high ranking soldiers. The building was surrounded by multiple high rise buildings that Price and Ghost made use of by setting up two vantage points with snipers. Gaz, Roach, and Soap are in the building while O'Connor was inside near their second floor exit in order to signal outside if needed, to watch for reinforcements, and to make sure the inside team got out quickly. But there was a change in plans as multiple enemies began making their way up the three flights of stairs towards her. O'Connor scrambled out and away quickly.
"Bravo 1, this is Alpha 2, we've found the intel. Downloading now ETA 5 minutes, how we looking Alpha 4?" Gaz's voice crackled over the radio into her ear piece. O'Connor was crouched in a room hidden with a knife as she waited for the soldiers chasing her to approach.
"This is Alpha 4, not good they've noticed their sleeping friends in the back. They're not happy about me taking out more either. We may have to find another exit, Bravo 2 is the planned repo compromised?" O'Connor whispered into her mic as she moved out into the hall after slitting an enemy's throat from behind.
"Negative, Alpha 4 your exit is clear but I don't know for how long so make it quick, Alpha Team." Ghost's voice rumbled through radio as O'Connor slipped into the room with the rest of her team.
"Copy, you boys ready to get out of here?" O'Connor asked, walking into the room. She wipes her knife off on her pants, placing it into her sheath, and readjusting the strap on her ACR so it is no longer on her back. They all moved towards the door and began to move through the building. They were moving quietly hoping to not get into an engagement in these tight quarters. They kept their heads on a swivel, checking corners and rooms as they passed. O'Connor was leading with Gaz and Soap in the middle and Roach bringing up the rear.
The building shook, followed by another, then another getting closer. Heat and light flashed to the left of O'Connor as she was flung to the right hitting wall, she felt all the air leaves her lungs. Debris scattering next to her. O'Connor shook her head trying to refocus her slightly blurring vision. It pained her but in the moment she needs to focus. She could hear a voice in her ear and it took her a second to register that it was Price.
-onner? Do you copy? Boys what the hell happened? Someone fucking responded?" There's a tinge of panic in the Captain's voice.
"O'Connor reporting," she looks to her left and can see Gaz moving, good. Soap and Roach were lying close to the wall seeming crumpled over. She begins moving towards the closer of the two which would be Soap.
"One moving, two unknown. Bravo what the hell happened?" She asked before reaching down to put two fingers on the scottish man's throat. She felt relief as she felt a pulse. She moved towards Roach next.
"No idea Alpha, multiple explosions from West of the building. Multiple targets moving on location rapidly, if you're there, you have to repo quickly." Price's voice was a little less tense but there's still obvious worry.
O'Connor reached Roach and sighed feeling a pulse from the jewish man as well. She began to check for obvious wounds on all three. Gaz had a head wound and probably a concussion, Soap's right arm was broken possibly from hitting the wall, and Roach had no obvious wounds which made her very nervous. Better the injuries you can see then the ones you don't.
"Gaz? Stay still I've got to check you out," Conscious first then knocked out, O'Connor begins to triage the head wound. There's lots of blood but all head wounds bleed like crazy so it's hard to know if it's anything serious.
"Doc? What happened?" Good speech, no slurring of words either, this could simply be a surface wound but best to not risk it.
"Sergeant can you stand? Tell me honestly." O'Connor finished her work before staring into the man's eyes, checking for any signs of serious problems. Gaz is definitely concussed but they probably all are with how close that explosion was.
" Yes ma'am I can" Gaz begins to stand as O'Connor moves to the other two. Checking Soaps arm she knows she's going to have to reset it.
"Sorry Suds, this is going to hurt a lot." O'Connor ran through the steps, steadied, braced, moved, and set. After she begins the steps hearing Soap goan in pain. She closed her eyes inhaled and followed through as quickly as possible without causing more damage. Soap yelled out in pain, briefly coming to consciousness before passing back out. Most likely due to pain.
"Gaz, can you shoot? You're in no position to carry either of these two but I need to know if you can at least shoot."
"I think I can, what the fuck happened Doc?"
"I don't know, kiddo, but we've gotta be ready to move quickly out toward extraction. Get into comms and figure out what Price has planned, he's got at least some idea if not him then Ghost."
"I can shoot too Captain, just don't think I can walk alone." O'Connor whipped her head down to Soap who was currently moving to sit up more, cradling his broken arm. O'Connor reaches into her a pack on her right and pulls out a large folded cloth. She helps Soap get his arm into a sling before moving towards Roach.
Rapidly she removes the heavier equipment, she checks what she can but knows she'll have to make a decision. Taking a deep breath she removes her backpack and begins to attach Roach's equipment. She moved towards Gaz's pack, attaching what she couldn't attach to her.
"Gaz come here, I'll need you to make sure Roach doesn't slip off, I'm going to have to carry him. Soap use the wall to stand if you can, I'll be your support. You two are going to only ones able to fire. Soap check your pistol, Gaz check your ACR." O'Connor barked orders moving Roach to be propped against the wall.
Gaz moves behind O'Connor and spots her while she picks Roach up into a fireman carry, one leg resting against her back the other against her chest and he straddles her shoulder. Shifting the weight to get slightly more comfortable, O'Connor moves towards Soap. He's not putting any weight on his left leg, it's possible it's broken but it's hard to tell. She moves the left side of Soap and wraps an arm around his waist lifting up his weight for better stability.
"Alright boys let's get out of here quickly, Soap open mic my walkie, I'm going to walk us through this along with Bravo so we can better coordinate."
"Yes ma'am" Soap says as O'Connor hears the click of open mic.
"Price, we're moving, Roach is MIA; unresponsive, Gaz and Soap are responsive. We'll be moving towards our previous repo position unless there's a safer route to extraction? How copy?"
"Affirmative, Doc we'll keep overwatch until you reach us and we can move towards extraction. Be aware there's possibly more explosives, be careful."
They begin to move, continuing down the hall before reaching the stair case they approached from. Soap leaned heavily against O'Connor as they moved down the stairs, moving slowly. They all freeze as multiple footsteps rush around beside them. Gaz slowly approached the slightly cracked open door. He shakes his head before motioning to continue further down.
"Ghost, can we get out through the lowest level?"
"I'll guide you through but be advised you'll be leaving towards the north. Evacuation is to the south."
"Just get us out of here we'll deal with that when we get to it."
Once down on the lowest floor, Ghost begins to guide the team. They eventually get to a set of double cellar doors, they swing open revealing two silhouettes. Gaz and Soap raise their weapons before the two familiar voices of Ghost and Price are heard. Soap is handed off for Ghost to assist as they quickly make their way towards their exit.
O'Connor checks Roach more thoroughly on the boeing finding many bruises and a dislocated shoulder. The man stirred awake minutes after exiting their cellar escape. She knows all of them are in for one hell of a night because it's highly likely they all have some form of concussion. After Roach was made comfortable, Doc moved to check Soap's leg, due to the swelling she has reason to believe his knee was tweaked and nothing was broken. Double checking Gaz to find no missed injuries thankfully.
It's then that she lets the fatigue settle in, feeling all the heavy equipment and strain from carrying Roach on her shoulders across rough terrain. She looks up as Ghost approaches her and she gives him a smile.
"Come on, someone's got to check you out ma'am. Let me help you get your equipment off." She nods slowly lifting and removing her vest and packs. She groans in pain as she takes deeper breath than normal.
"I think I cracked something when I hit that wall."
"You feel comfortable enough to remove your shirt Doc?"
O'Connor winces as she moves to lift her shirt and removes it, setting it next to her. She's left in her black compression bra. She looks down at herself but can't see the culprit of the pain. She shifts forward and turns herself so her back is easily visible. She can hear Gaz sharply inhaling.
"That bad huh?"
She feels gloved hands gently prodding her back, ribs, and shoulder. Every press causes her to hiss and gasp, her knuckles turning white as she squeezed her turtle neck. She heard Ghost grunt out a possible diagnosis before moving away.
" I think most of us will be hanging around the base until we get the all clear." Soap grumbles.
O'Connor hums an affirmative before gasping in pain while pulling her shirt back on. Making a mental note to find help cutting her bra off. Price's boots appeared in her field of view. She looks up to see he's holding his knife, giving her a knowing smile. She felt relief as the back of her shirt was lifted and she heard the ripping of fabric. She sighed in relief as the last bit of restrictive fabric was cut.
"Sorry sergeant but yes we're not leaving base anytime soon," O'Connor stated as she leaned back and cringed at the instant pain. She felt her body succumbing to exhaustion
"Oi Maevis, come on tell me about the tattoo you want MacTavish to draw for you, ya?" O'Connor's eyes flew open looking towards Price, she nodded and began to talk. Knowing that Price was trying to keep her awake.
Ghost and Price kept concussion watch until they landed back at base; Echo Point: Bastion. They guide the members into medical, before going back and grabbing everyone's gear and taking it to their respective quarters.
Everyone sat together in briefing after getting wrapped up and given a go ahead. Laswell was happy to hear about the information they'd recover and Price told everyone they're on temporary leave.
#cod roach#cod ghost#cod modern warfare#cod soap#cod price#cod gaz#cod mwii#cod mw2#cod 141#cod#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty#task force 141#tf 141#gary roach sanderson#john soap mactavish#captain john price#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#cod oc#oc#canon divergence
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The Worms
“Jon. What the fuck do you plan to achieve with this?” Daisy asked staring at him, arms crossed over her chest.
“I plan. To find out what the hell is going on, besides���. There started to be a worm infestation. We can’t be at the station currently. You heard what Elias said.” Jon replied as he was crouched down picking up dead worms with gloved hands and setting them in a bag.
“Elias isn’t the brightest crayon in the box, he’s been,” Basira paused trying to think on how to put it, “off. Of sorts.
“You can say that twice, giving us a “vacation” till they clean the station….” Daisy muttered clearly still irritated.
Jon stood up once again zipping the bag shut before setting it in the bag against his side. He removed the gloves and threw them in the nearest trashcan. “Let’s get out of this park, better get home since there’s no siting of the woman in red. She’s been coming up more frequent….”
“Wasn’t her name Jane? Or claimed to be.” Basira asked walking beside Daisy while Jon lead in front.
“Jane Prentiss,” Jon spoke remembering, “took me a moment. Doesn’t help with all these late nights….”
“Then sleep.” Daisy said putting it blunt. “Or you to wrapped up in those old investigations? You really need to toss those back in the cabinet and move on. You weren’t even apart of any of them.”
Jon grumbled in response thinking before finding his response. “That’s the thing. It’s. I can’t. Something doesn’t sit right with me. It’s that unsettling feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, or a thought you can’t remember but try so hard. Drives you to the edge,”
“Never thought the detective would open up.” Basira spoke up listening, “Least we could do is offer a hand. Besides being on the same team that is.”
“I’ll figure out something….” Jon muttered before silence filled between them.
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They all continued walking before getting back to Daisy’s car. Jon paused looking towards a direction feeling like something was there…. Something watching. Daisy already got in the driver seat before Basira pat Jon on the shoulder. “Let’s go home, been a long night.”
“Right…. Yeah….” Jon replied hesitantly hearing her door soon close and it was another moment before he heard the sound faint crawling worms. He got in the car before another moment and Daisy drove off from the park without asking. Neither of them did as this was beginning to become normal. The paranoia.
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They were halfway to Basira’s place before Jon felt something crawl over his hand. If he weren’t so still he probably wouldn’t have notice spacing off, “Wha-“ before he finished he felt it burrow in his hand. “Agh!”
“Jon?” Basira spoke turning her head back even through the dark as Daisy focused on the light. “Better not be messing around back there-“ Daisy began before the sounds started and then grow louder.
“Their worms!” Basira stated as Jon yelled in pain once more feeling worms crawl up him not realizing how quick. Basira gone to open the door but appeared locked, “Daisy-“
Daisy tried unlocking the door all the while trying to keep the worms off, “It’s not working! Damnit! They’re everywhere!” She shouted angrily.
“Okay! Okay, try and keep calhhhaaa!” Basira began but cut off short feeling several of the worms burry into her without even noticing where they’re at.
“Light! Damnit!” Jon said while Daisy gone pressing it on without a second thought. How many were there…. They didn’t know. But the surface’s were being covered quick. It was late enough there were barely any cars but they needed to get out before getting covered by them.
“Basira, glove box. Now. Grab the gun and shoot the window.” Daisy spoke firmly and direct. She didn’t hesitate opening it up and reaching for it only to find worms fall out and took her shot. The window shattered. The next moments came rather quick.
Managing to crawl out of the window she proceeded to break Jon’s window next and helped pull him out before doing the same with Daisy. How many worms got to them? How many were still crawling under their skin? It didn’t take long seeing the woman in red standing not too far from the front of the car. The three of them dealing with pain all the while managing to stand.
Basira held the gun tight, “Jon. Phone. Radio. Call, someone.” Basira told towards him and he began rummaging through his bag before finding his phone, he called backup.
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Master Post & First
#TMA#the magnus archives#the magnus archives au#Detective!TMA#Detective AU#Jonathan Sims#Basira Hussain#Alice Daisy Tonner#Jane Prentiss#Worms…#🪱🪱🪱🪱#Didnt feel like styling text#have fun#Martin is having worm problems to#don’t worry#Daisy pissed? Probably#The car is a new home
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lottie couldn’t remember a time when people hadn’t asked her if she was dating monroe. when she was younger, she’d blush and angrily tell people they were just friends. even as she got older, she’d deny it with annoyance in her voice—not because she didn’t like it, but because she was scared of monroe hearing people say things like that. she’d always been scared of losing him. now, though, she knew she wasn’t going to lose him because of her feelings, but the thought of everyone telling her they knew all along she was in love with him made her cringe. she could already picture her sister teasing her, pointing out how she’d always looked at him like there was no one prettier in the room. lottie would groan, a lot, if that ever happened. another thing she’d have to get over was the idea of her parents judging them if they wanted to sleep in the same bed. she already felt uncomfortable at the thought of explaining that nothing inappropriate would happen, but the pressure of being so specific just so they could be close to each other without judgment made a shiver run down her spine. when monroe mentioned her corny words, lottie rolled her eyes and punched his arm playfully. "get used to this instead," she laughed, shaking her middle finger at him. "i was trying to be nice and romantic, and you call me out? not cool, monroe," she teased, loving how she didn’t have to change around him. she could be her playful, corny self. pouting a little, she tilted her head so he could get a better look at the lipstick on her lips. for a second, she felt breathless when his hand cupped the back of her neck, his thumb brushing over her lips. why was she getting so nervous at his touch? she shook the thought away, mentally telling herself to focus. "great," she finally spoke, shaking her head to get rid of the random ideas in her mind. "yes, I’ll help you," she nodded. grabbing her bag, she pulled out a little wipe she’d stolen from her sister and leaned forward to cup his cheek. her eyes met his for a brief moment before she started wiping the smudged lipstick off his lips. "i think it’s no longer there," she said softly, a small smile tugging at her lips.
monroe knew the two of them were going to have the same comments coming from their parents too not far in the future. everybody would assume they'd been dating from a long time ago - which wasn't the truth and what they would need to make clear. monroe didn't want lottie's parents thinking he was sleeping next to their perfect daughter and thinking bad things at the time. she had been his crush for as long as he could remember but he could push his crush aside when they were having a friend nights at each others. monroe and lottie were going to have put up with all the 'i told you so' comments whenever they came out and admit that they were dating to everyone. the same conversations would happen again and again. monroe and lottie were going to have to prepare to admit things soon before he accidentally ended up kissing lottie in a room full of people who thought they were only best friends and nothing more than that. tonight's date was different to what kind of places they'd usually go. monroe and lottie were dressed to the tens and looked spectacular. "should i start getting use to you saying all this cute corny shit to me?" monroe loved that lottie didn't mind him dressed like this or in casual clothes. it was cute. he just wanted to tease the girl a little bit. monroe was struggling to get lottie's lipstick from off one of his lips. his eyebrows furrowed as she mentioned the lipstick was still there - even though he'd be rubbing at it to try and get it off for a minute. monroe's gaze fell to the girl's mouth as he inspected the girl's mouth to check if it was smudged. it wasn't smudged - not too much to notice anyways. monroe cupped the back of the girl's neck before his thumb lightly dragged over the girl's lip to make sure it was covered which resulted in the tip of his thumb turning the colour of the girl's lipstick - which made him pout. "your lipstick stays looking perfect. mind helping me out though?"
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You are such a love!!! Could I ask for number 23?
oh babe, and YOU are just an absolute dear. so many cuddles are being sent your way!!
page 23 of my ao3 bookmarks include...
Freeway of Love (In a Pink Cadillac) by MsHydeStylinson / @mizzhydes
“Did you like them?” Louis asked in a seductive tone, propping his elbow against the armrest, chin resting against his fingers.
“I’m not going to answer that,” Harry informed, lips pressed in a hard line.
“I don’t think you have to,” Louis smirked nodding slightly towards his telltale bulge and watched as Harry reddened from his neck to his forehead in a flash.
”Please, I beg you to put that phone away,” Harry pleaded with a suffering expression plastered on his face.
“Please…” Harry whined.
Or,
Louis was on his way to Miami to visit an old friend. Harry was going there for a little R&R and take in the sights and sounds. A sudden upgrade in seating brought these polar opposites together. The universe works in mysterious ways and they are unknowingly about to embark on an adventure they will surely remember for a lifetime.
Prompt 107: Sugar daddy AU inspired by this tweet: “going to sit next to the richest looking middle aged man on my flight and scroll through my nudes for three hours straight” with rich daddy Harry and bratty baby Louis
The Only One (when it's said and done) by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup
Louis Tomlinson, alpha, twenty nine years old, is head of the Tomlinson pack.
He's unbonded, and happily so. A trip to the neighbouring Arthur pack certainly isn't going to change that.
Candles and Clocks by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13
Niall is homesick on the X Factor tour. Louis helps.
Choose one of my 103 pages of bookmarks in AO3 and I'll give you a random selection of fics from that page!
#asks#musiclily#fic rec#sunshine project#i forgot the neighboring pack in emmu's fic was the arthur pack#and i'm chuckling as quietly as i can in my boys' bedroom right now#trying to get them to sleep without them hearing me#because i love the way emmu writes some people in fics#so brilliantly hilarious#anyway i hope you enjoy
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really wish my one friend would quit flirting with me. and trying to goad me into hanging out more. and assigning us fictional characters that are oh-so-coincidently either couples or with romantic tension. and then interrupting our gameplay to ask me repeatedly if I think they’re “like us” (which they rarely are…). and matching my icon on discord without asking (again, usually by insinuating a couple connection). and giving me random things I do not want and did not ask to receive (and then forcing me to take them???).
#storyrambles#it’s not creepy. just for context. it’s just irritating because I’ve told this person repeatedly that I’m not interested in romance.#this person is also naturally a huge romantic so it is next to impossible to tell whether it’s actual flirtation or just flirting for fun#flirting for fun is cool. I wouldn’t mind that. but if I do it once this person will take that as an invitation to do it an excessive amoun#but yeah after being given 12 roses out of the blue when I said ‘no don’t buy me flowers’. there’s only so many things that can mean#‘it’s nice to see your face you always cover it!’ …I’m masking. because of covid#I’m narrating a game and suddenly ‘I like hearing your voice I should call you every day so I can hear it for 10 minutes’. …no.#‘you have to take the snack I brought you know it’s rude to refuse a gift’ I have never refused a gift. It is rude. But also I didn’t ask.#‘you know this game is one you can play without talking so we can play more often!’ we already play games once a week for usually 3 hours.#‘but it’s not talking so it’s less social energy’ no. that is not how it works.#sorry for the rant im just. tired.#you know those people who are so pleasant to hang out with and then they try way too hard#and that’s actually what makes things awkward? rather than when they’re just being themselves?#yeah. that’s this friend here.#usually I go along with the bit but when I can never tell when the bit is actually a bit#and you insist on me taking on the ‘girl role’ for most of them#I am not going to play along.#UGH don’t get me started on the ‘you’re cute when you’re flustered’#I wasn’t even flustered. I was trying to do mental math while running on four hours of sleep and he was staring directly at me#it’s uncomfortable.#also. I never want to hear that again. fuck. ‘you’re cute when you’re angry’ ‘you’re cute when you’re upset’ ALL THE FUCKING TIME AS A KID#will I be so cute after I kick you in the nuts? will I?#(for clarity I don’t want to kick him. I want to kick those other people.)#I need a lot of alone time. I really do. I can do 3 hours and then I will be drained for the rest of the day.#‘how did you grow up? did you not talk to your mom for more than 3 hours a day?’#first of all. that’s different?#secondly we actually regularly do separate things without talking to each other. or go in separate rooms to take some time to ourselves#also I don’t have to be on high alert for if I’m going to be flirted with. so.#ugh. I like him as a friend. I really do. I know this all makes it seem like the opposite. I try so hard to be as nice as possible.#but UGHHHHHH
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OOF it's been a while since I've had a nightmare visceral enough to wake me up from a dead sleep into straight terror... But I guess I shouldn't have underestimated how much my brain would pick up from a podcast Teirlisting Horror Games. .....
(I go on to describe the dream in the tags so watch out if you don't want to hear descriptions of the horrors my brain can cook up.. cw Body Horror mostly)
#monster noises#I thought it would be Fine because they weren't Playing the Games or Experiencing the Narrative#but i guess they were talking about Enough details and things my brain already knew that the Terror Machine that runs my sleep was like#OHOHOHO..... Ingredience#the Idea was i was playing a video game level but i was In the POV#and at first it was just a creepy apartment#but then weird ghost kids started showing up and i had to get them all#which was more annoying than scary until one of them dislocated several joints and started Yelling#and the quickly the lights were out and i had a flashlight and I had to hide from this monster called 'The Granny'#and it mechanically it was one of those things that can't see but Can hear but it also had like Seeking Tendrils#and I was attempting to hide under a table but i couldn t get under fast enough without making a bunch of noise#and the tendrils coming in way too close#and then it Screamed and started after me but i was stuck under the table and had to try and blindly back up to the door#while crouch-carrying the table#and the tension and fear of that experience was so high i shot awake in complete fear with my heart Pounding#and it's still not back to like.. level#but like truly this thing was Awful#very well could have been an official silent hill creature#the opposite of when you wake up in terror from a dream and the thing you were afraid of was actually pretty ridiculous#you wake up from seeing this thing and go 'alright yeah okay that's fair i'm Fully also afraid of that'#it's like#.. a desecated large human head#on the end of neck like a snake's body#but it's just bones and bits of driedout flesh#and it's body a jumbled mass of bones and sinews with long distinct skinless dried out limbs coming out of it#that it pawed along low to the ground with#the whole thing was drapped in a filthy shroud and coloured this dark dark tan#like Mummy Colour#i'm sure you know what I mean#but it was Awful
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regretting getting festival ticket. but i know i would also regret not getting it
#for different reasons#ig this is how i feel about every decision i’ve made recently#thinking about it makes me sick i’m so stressed out why did i agree to go#i need to kill myself but i can’t do that without a trigger and my dad hasn’t been shitty for a week or two#i’m just. the most unhappy i’ve been in months and there is nothing waiting for me that will make it better#i should’ve started taking meds again but i didn’t and now the prescription has expired#well. not now it’s been like 2 months#idk why maybe bc i don’t think they’d change anything maybe bc my family was weird about them#but the last time i brought this up with my mom she got angry at me for trying to blame her#like yeah shit sorry hearing you complain abt me taking medication affected the way i look at it#bc now she’s all for it but i don’t think i believe her#it’s always 'what do they even do they won’t fix you' bc i guess it never crossed her mind they aren’t meant to cure anything#but rather help manage everyday life#whatever i’ve been having trouble with sleep again too#i’m just so so fucking tired all the time and when i get home all i can do is lay down#and i fall asleep but it’s shallow and i’m just stuck barely conscious having dreams which i hate#i need to look if i can return the ticket
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#my dad had a friend stay the night last night and i thought it was supposed to be only last night#but apparently not#and i’m trapped in my fucking bedroom#our house is Not Large so wherever they are in the house i can hear them#and i can’t move from room to room without bumping into them and even if i could#the only rooms i can really be in is my room the bathroom and the kitchen#i waited stuck in my bedroom desperately needing to go to the bathroom for a full hour bc she was showering and doing her hair and shit#anyway i am fucking grumpy and not dealing with it well#i’m overwhelmed and i want to slam my head into things until my head bleeds#I don’t think i can do this#i’ve been trying but it’s been so so fucking bad for my health#i can barely leave my room and my room is too small for me to do anything like my exercises in#and because the only time i can move around the house freely is late at night i’ve been regularly staying up until midnight or later#just so i can leave my fucking bedroom#which means i’m getting about three or four hours of sleep before work and never more#and my dad gives me so much shit for napping during the day#i’m so sleep deprived i’m so stressed i want to cry#also the ONE#ONE SINGLE stipulation f#for my dad moving back in here (from both my mother and I)#was that i got the big bedroom so i at least had space to live#because my dad would get my bedroom the office and during the day both the dining room and living room#and my dad keeps making excuses#at first it was supposed to happen right away#then he promised it would be no later than Christmas#and now he’s saying he ‘doesn’t know how it will work at all we have too much stuff’#meanwhile my mom and i have come up with solutions to literally every problem he comes up with#anyway i feel like i’m backsliding because it’s taking everything everything in me right now not to do something stupid#because somehow the only thing that calms me down when i get like this is still physical pain#but that’s not an option right?
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#wak#negative /#tag vent /#man.. why is everything so draining#like.. fr it seems like I can't do Anything for an extended amount of time without burning out and wanting to quit#like. when I was little it was my absolute dream to be able to do nothing but draw all day every day but#now as an adult the thought of it stresses me out and makes me sick to my stomach#I used to get so excited about getting commissions but#now every time I see that someone's commissioned me I just dread doing it as if it's something I'm getting graded for in two days#(note that this isn't a slight against people who've commed me by any means. if you've commed me you're a saint)#(but. that's just how I feel and I wish it wasn't)#which is why comms are closed rn and idk when I'm opening them back up#rn I'm doing commission-based editing/proofreading work for a small publishing comp#something that I Also once aspired to do full-time#but.. I'm already kinda getting tired of it? probably bc my current project is 140+ pages that I have to get done in two weeks#like.. it's not Bad and I'm not quitting (I don't have a choice anyway. this is the closest thing I have rn to a consistent-ish job)#but it.. just gets less fun w every manuscript and I hate that#and like... whenever I go out no matter where I am I just want to go back home#I have no 'dream job' anymore. I have no goals. I don't want to go places or do things I just want to be home sleeping#but. as we all know that's not an option in the capitalist hellscape we live in#hell... even if we Didn't live in the hellscape it probably still wouldn't be an option lol#and of course my mom will not hear any of it and just thinks I'm being spoiled and lazy and 'using my aut as an excuse'#and most people including supposed '''''leftists'''' would probably agree with her too#bc 95% of '''"radical communists''''' on here are Adults Aren't Allowed To Exist Outside Of Working And That's How Things Should Be truther#who vocally treat unemployment as a moral failing and as a Bad Person Trait™ inbetween making Capitalism Bad posts#but I'm getting offtopic. Maybe I Am Useless And Lazy And A Leech Or Etc#but what I'm trying to say is I feel like I'm going to be miserable and feel like just a machine no matter what I do#and like I'm never going to have a happy or fulfilling life#and that my only option is to go to sleep never wake up and hope I'm reborn with no mental illnesses or trauma and into a rich family#but.. fat chance.
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ughhhh
#i feel like I've dug myself too deep into class skipping and now I'm like. nervous to go back. i keep trying and i just can't#and i know it literally wouldn't actually matter to anyone but it still bothers me#that combined with there being someone I really don't want to be around there makes it really fucking hard to actually go#im gonna try again tomorrow bc I actually have work to do so I won't just be basically sitting there for nothing#but who knows I'm probably just gonna end up going back to sleep again#im gonna push to at least go to the second one bc I'm more behind in that one and he's not in it and hopefully won't be hanging out there#idk why i still get so worked up over him either but it really bothers me and hearing his voice makes me actually sick#i keep getting “better” and then when i try to start going to classes more or whatever i fall right back into the hurt and spiral again#bc he's in fucking two of them so it's not like I can help it the only way to avoid him is to not go to school#but I can't keep skipping every week either#i hate being vulnerable but i may have to just explain it to the teacher so i can at least maybe get permission to work form home#instead of me being a dick and skipping without saying anything#i just don't wanna sound weird cause i fully shouldn't be so bothered anymore#maybe I'll send her a canvas message explaining or something i feel bad she probably thinks i hate her class#like no no it's difficult but the only thing i actually hate rn is being around him.#that plus the fact that i work full time makes it really hard to convince myself not to just go back to bed#honestly if i lived slightly closer to the school this probably wouldn't be an issue#but it's a 20 minute drive on the highway both to get there and back and then to work#plus there's only an hour gap bw the two classes so it's basically pointless to leave school and come back#and work is an hr and a half after class ends so my dog basically ends up in the crate all day and i feel bad#I'm gonna have to just message the teacher and explain all this ig. we'll see of i manage to go to class tomorrow
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