#trying to get my groove back. i feel like a vampire i need a style to bounce off of if i want to feel good about my art -_-

[pulsedemonremastered]

part of a doodle im not gonna finish . hes growing on me

[phychohex]

I met a vampire down in Santa Carla (chapter three)

I am now fully settled in having found my way around to life back in Santa Carla. The past month I have slowly made my room mine once again. The frame is the same only the fairy lights are replaced with new ones that actually work.  Two nightstands both black with neon green skulls all over them. One holding my medication and sleep stuff the other having random junk. I also finally have a desk that also acted as a makeshift vanity. The mirror that hung above has a black frame with some lights hot glued along the edges. The desk was black with the top having a leopard print design and the chair was a rolling one with a leopard print blanket on the back. My dresser was replaced by a big wardrobe which I painted black to match the nightstands. I also have a lamp in the corner of the room which I made myself using a prosthetic leg, an old tall lamp, and a leopard print lampshade. It was over by my makeshift reading nook where a hanging chair stayed along with a large corner shelf. When I switched to a wardrobe I was able to uncover the doors to the patio. I made sure to keep it up to my stepdad's standards. I used black curtains to cover the doors when I didn't want to go out. My bedding was now black with satin sheets and pillows. I'm not done with the room but it has only been a month. Using any tips and the money Steve didn't take to make it all done up. 

With Steve still not believing how much I make was now a blessing. I am rarely around him especially after we got into a fight and my mom tried to stop it from happening ending up with a broken arm. Begging me not to tell the truth to anyone and also feeling guilty I tend to stay in my room when I'm home. If I'm not at home I'm at work which was more bearable. Tyler was an asshole always having some shit to say under his breath. He mostly kept to himself so I do the same. It also doesn't help that no matter where I'm at the group of bikers seem to linger. Every night they were out on the boardwalk doing whatever they wanted as if they owned the place. I try to stay as far as I can they just leaked trouble. Somehow though they are always there. I get off work and they are at a store not too far away leaving as well. Getting gas well guess who just so happens to be getting gas too. I'm sure other people have the same kind of routine as me having recognized other people but they stood out like a sore thumb. The only real peace I seem to get is on Wednesdays when I go to the Shack for DND and band practice. 

We were rocky at the start having to refind our groove and style but once we did we didn't sound half bad. Again it's only for fun so we never take it seriously. If someone misses a note or Josh and I have voice cracking or sing misheard lyrics we just laugh it off. I also have my room at the shop just how I want it. I bought a CD player along with a CD book for people to choose from. Most of it is stuff I like but since not everyone shares my taste I also have other music. I also have a mini fridge where I offer free drinks. I offer soda, sweet tea, and water. I got a snack basket on top of it again free to those who need it. This is handy for people who don't take tattoos very well and have blood sugar problems. I find this tends to get me good tips which I use to buy more snacks. Setting up my area getting ready for my shift soothing through my CD book.

 I hear the bell alerting us we have a client looking to get something done. I didn't have any appointments for another couple of hours so unless Tyler gets to the counter first I am free. Sadly I didn't make it hearing him talking to whoever it was. "RORY" he shouted which was startling. I peek out and instantly get annoyed. Standing at the front talking to Tyler was the biker gang. I shake off whatever thoughts I have and make my way over. "This is David he is specially requesting you for his tattoo" the jealousy seeping out in his voice. 

"shouldn't a tattoo artist have tattoos" he questions getting a kick out of this. I lift my sleeve showing him my bat wrapped around my right wrist. "That's it" 

"no I have a bunch, I just so happen to be a lady who dresses modestly" I lean against the counter "Do you want a tattoo or not" I had to put on a tough face the last time we met I was too nervous. Drumming the counter standing up turning to his friends saying something. The other three leave and he turns back. "good what ya thinkin' on getting" 

"arm wrap, barbed wire?" I turn grabbing a big binder filled with regular tattoos that people tend to get flipping to the right page showing him the different kinds he could get. Looking through them before picking one he liked.

"Okay follow me and I'll get you set up" I take the page out and head to my room him following close behind. "just take a seat while I draw this up" I turn to the desk that was set up getting the stencil ready. "you have any music you prefer or if you want to talk we can. Help yourself to any drinks or snacks as well" 

"I'm good" I felt him right behind leaning over watching me.  With it done I turn around only to see he was still in his trench coat. 

"the jacket" I point. He nods taking it off wearing a black short-sleeved shirt. His arms weren't jacked but they had a nice tone his shoulders were broad and his shirt seemed tight against his chest. He sits down I put the stencil on and make sure it looks okay. "look in the mirror and see if you like it, if not I can change it" he gets up not really looking.

"little lower" I turn redoing the stencil and prepping his arm lowering the placement. Now liking the placement I finish getting him ready. 

"so any music" I offer one last time. 

"that's alright" I start trying to get into my headspace which clearly was going to be a bit hard. "where you from" 

"New Mexico" 

"What brings you to the murder capital" 

"it's complicated" I mutter glancing up his eyes never wondering. I go back to the tattoo hoping this won't be as antiganizing as I think it's going to be. "what about you" I ask trying to flip it to a different topic. I do this a lot letting the client talk about themselves and share their story. It was one of the things I enjoyed about this job. 

"complicated." Well, there goes that plan "We have a while we should swap stories" That was his motive. 

"Why do you want to know" I ask "What do you want to know" 

"I said I'd see you around, didn't I? Tell me whatever" 

"you hassle all your artists?" I joke reinking the needle

"Just the pretty ones" I look at him. 

I gasp "Don't let Tyler hear, it'll hurt his feelings that you think he isn't pretty" I playfully pout.

"so she can snap back here I was thinking you didn't have it in you" I roll my eyes." seriously though what about the murder capital that has attracted you here? One of those true crime junkies" 

"let's just say I grew up here then I left collected up some baggage and now I'm back" The silence was loud but I finally got the peace I wanted. I hyperfocus back on my task. I find myself playing stories in my head when I do. If someone is telling me their own I picture it if not I let the music guide my thoughts but silence. I hate that it gives me little to work with and my mind drifts to its own memories. It would be about the Dnd stuff or what I should've said in an argument when I was younger, but now my mind decided to bring memories of him back. The first time he cheated is now at my forefront. 

I came home late due to night classes. The house was pretty dull but I did hear moaning. Confused I go and see John having another girl in the bed. I lashed out asking what the fuck was going on. Who was this bitch laying in my bed with my guy? It didn't take much for him to throw me against the wall yelling for me to get the fuck out and slamming the door in my face. That was the first time he put his hands on me. I didn't talk to him for days no matter how much he tried. That didn't last long either tho because once he was done with it he yelled at me throwing himself to my feet gaslighting and guilt-tripping. I sit up looking at my work. 

It was good and I have most of the front done. "turn your arm please" I mutter. I didn't notice it but he was looking at me. His once sarcastic demeanor was gone as the tension thickened. I take a deep breath to gather myself.

"mind if we listened to something," he asks I nod agreeing to the break stopping the clock. I hand him the book "You pick" I shrug and put it back pressing play on the stereo. The misfits blasting and getting back to work humming along to the songs. It brought me out of that gutter I was in making my mood better. I put the finishing touches on cleaning up and sterilizing everything again. He looks at it in the mirror before going with me to pay.

"thank you for choosing me to give you a tattoo it was nice" I smile "I hope you enjoy it" he nods paying before leaving. I felt bad I must've made it awkward with my answer. I couldn't let it get to me though I had the appointment coming in any time now. 

A couple of days have gone by. Right now  I'm getting my nails done by Kayla. I promised I'd stop by yesterday so here we are. I'm getting acrylic nails in oval shape. With a clear coat and the tip being white with little cherries all over. "so what you doing after this" she asks

"Nothing, I got tonight off" I shrug "Probably just go home" 

"No shit" she smiles "let's go get drunk then" Now there was something I don't do. The few times I have in never ended well. John used to be a very touchy and angry drunk so I never really got into the whole party hard and drink your liver to death. 

"I don't know" I shake my head "I'm not a big drinker" 

"even better you can be the DD" I guess it wouldn't be too bad. Plus gave me a good reason not to go home. 

"Fine as long as it isn't a bar that's on the boardwalk" 

"what's wrong with the boardwalk" She looks up switching hands putting the one she currently was working on under the little light. 

"cause that biker gang will be hanging around"

"biker gang?  you mean the guys with the mullets so what"

"well yesterday the one with the trench coat ya'know the leader, he specifically requested I do a tattoo for him the other day. While doing it he started playing asking a thousand questions and after I told him why I moved it just got quiet and awkward" 

"damn what did you tell him" 

"not much I just said I left got baggage and now I was back. I wasn't about to trama dump on some random dude, especially not a client. Before this, though they just were always" She gives me a look smiling "What" 

"he might like you" she teases "or at least did before you scared him off" I didn't think of that. The thought of someone liking me was the farthest thing from my mind. After everything with John, the last thing I want is to jump into a different relationship, especially with someone I didn't know.

"I guess but that's kinda creepy no?" 

"yeah it is I mean he doesn't even know you or has talked to you" 

"Well," I draw out the word gaining me a quick lookup.

"go on" also draws out the last word ready for any information I have left out. 

"When I got done with my job interview I went to that little coffee shop. The one with all the books. Well he and his gang all burst in there like a bat out of hell and we made eye contact. I guess he took it as his cue and came over to where I was searching for a book. I was over by the horror section so way back in the corner. He grabbed the book I was looking at and held it above my head asking for my name. It was like I was in high school again I swear." 

"oh he definitely likes you" 

"so" I scuff "I'm not looking for a man anyways" 

"no, but a little fun wouldn't hurt if you know what I mean" 

" hell no" I laugh "Trust me that is the last thing I want" as she finishes up my set getting me checked out. "I'll wait for you at my car I'll take you to come get it tomorrow okay." 

"Okay, but we are going to Drunken Sailor" I give her the bitch really look. 

"that's on the boardwalk" 

"Oh come on Rory it will be okay pretty sure you scared him off anyway" I roll my eyes and get in the car and wait for her. She was right no guy wants to fuck around with some chick with tons of shit clouding her past. I guess that's a good thing because now I can have some girl time. After about an hour she comes out ready to go drinking. We drive up to the bar being very surprised. The atmosphere was almost club-like the music was loud but not so loud to where you couldn't hear the person standing next to you. There were people at the bar all young and ready for a party others were already drunk or tipsy dancing their hearts out. Kayla rushes to the bar pulling me along. "two shots please" the bartender looks at me nodding before making them. She takes both swinging them back. I look at the menu.

 "can I get a virgin strawberry daiquiri please" Going to make the drink Kayla groans. Tugging on my arm as some pop song plays. 

"Let's dance" she ushers I beg for her to wait up but she is already out and partying. once my drink came I joined dancing as well I could covering my drink. "put it down" I shook my head "Fine I need more anyways." after an hour or so sipping on my drink and her doing the same. Going back and forth on the dance floor I end up sitting alone at the bar while she dances her heart out. Keeping a close eye on her when the bartender comes over with a cocktail. 

"oh sorry I didn't order one" I smile 

"on the house" he smiled "sent by that gentleman over there" I looked up to see David looking right back at me. The smile on his face and a little wave let me know I didn't scare him off. I look at the cocktail and stop the bartender. 

"Can I get another virgin daiquiri please" 

"yeah want me to send it back." he offers. I glance over and shake my head. I get up gathering up the balls to go and sit with him. I sit down and stay silent not sure what to do now. 

"thank you" I smile "but I don't drink" I slide it over to him. 

"Cause of the baggage" he questions I look down all courage gone. 

"Look I don't know what you want but maybe next time you should start with hi how are you this evening." I get up ready to get my drink and leave. He stands up following me. 

"wait" he gets in front "I'm sorry let's start over okay?" he offers. I look debating on it I sigh and sit back down. He sits next to me before downing the drink he offered like it was nothing. I was taken aback by this usually those things are filled with alcohol. he notices me staring "What, you said you don't drink and I wasn't bout to let it go to waste" he leans against the bar. "so if you aren't here to drink then what are you here for" I look out and point to Kayla who was currently in a group circle dancing. "why not join" 

"cause I've had enough dancing for tonight" The bartender comes back with my drink I pay with a good tip. "before you start this is a virgin" I take a sip enjoying the slightly sour drink. 

"no that's a slushie" leaning into the whiskey. "so your friend is over there dancing all by herself while you sit at the bar?" 

"I might be a tad uptight, I don't make friends as easy as she does." 

"yeah I noticed" He jokes 

"Sorry bout that." 

"it's fine you have those guards up for a reason" he looks at his drink as if thinking.

"to be honest" I glance at my glass not sure why I wanted to open up. It isn't like I had a buzz, but he was easy to talk to. "they are kinda new. I didn't use to be this way." 

"you want to forget?" he leans in our eyes meet it was like I was falling under some sick spell. "even if it is for one night" I shake my head letting out a laugh. It sounded like one of those you hear in a movie when the character was trying to hold it together. 

"no, thank you. That's the last thing I need" I hold my glass tighter. "I'm kinda over being a toy" It was silent I had said too much. Starting to regret having come over and not just sending my drink back like any normal person.

"fair enough." he leans back taking another long sip of the whiskey from before. "how bout this, me and you go do something fun, no strings attached" I look at him confused. 

"why" 

"why not, got nothing else going on." with the idea not sounding too bad I'm about to answer when Kayla leans on me. 

"what ya doing" she hugs looking over at David. Turning to my ear she attempted to whisper "is this him" I felt my face become heated with embarrassment as a smirk was plastered on his face. 

"Kayla" I look at her "What are you doing" I try giving her a hint to not do whatever her drunk mind was telling her. 

"just checking in" she pouts and touches her forehead on mine. "is that him" I nod hoping the hint finally clicks. She looks at him looking up and down. "get it girl" Now fully embarrassed and ready to go crawl in a hole and die I stand up. 

"I think we should go" I help her standing up much to her protest. "excuse her she is very drunk" I apologise "Can we take a rain check" I ask he nods in agreement. I hand him my phone letting him put his number in my phone. As he hands it back looking up and down I rush her out saying bye. Once in the car we just sit there. 

"he was cute" She looked at me I looked back the laughter was too hard to hold back. 

"you are such a bitch" I laugh starting the car. 

"oh shut the fuck up you know you love me" I start the drive to the shack. Getting her in the door was easy. we sit on the couch with a random movie playing only for her to instantly fall asleep. I hear my phone ding looking to see a new number on my phone. 

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 22/07/2023 (Billie Eilish, Troye Sivan, J Hus’ ‘Beautiful and Brutal Yard’)

Content warning: Brief mentions of gay sex and violence 

For a seventh straight week, Dave and Central Cee grab the #1 on the UK Singles Chart with “Sprinter”, and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, even on a busier week like this, we start with our notable dropouts, which are songs exiting the UK Top 75 - that’s what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40, and this week, we say goodbye - unsurprisingly - to Taylor Swift’s re-recorded version of “Enchanted”, as well as “Area Codes” by Kaliii (yes, it’s three “I”s now), “All My Life” by Lil Durk featuring J. Cole, “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac, “Satellite” and “Late Night Talking” by Harry Styles and “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals. Not much of value was lost.

As for our returns and gains, well, we see some OCC scuffery in the first department as “Karma” by Taylor Swift re-enters at #32 thanks to the three-song rule switching out our Pokémon, but as for the notable gains, which of course are always infinitely more interesting... except for when they aren’t, and that’s the case with this week, as we see boosts for “What it Is” by Doechii at #63, Goddamn “Mr. Brightside” at #57 (yes, really), “Fast Car” by Luke Combs at #55, “UNAVAILABLE” by Davido featuring Musa Keys at #52, “Closer” by Bou featuring Slay at #32, “So Much in Love” by D.O.D at #17 and in the top 10, Gunna gets his first ever solo top 10 hit with “umean” at #7, and his first in general since he hit #1 with Internet Money, Don Toliver and NAV on “Lemonade” in 2020.

The top five of this week’s UK Singles Chart consists of “Who Told You” by J Hus featuring Drake at #5 - more on J Hus later - followed by “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift at #4, “Seven” by Jung Kook featuring Latto debuting at #3 and then of course, “vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo at #2 and “Sprinter” at the very top. Now we have a slightly chaotic week so let’s start grinding through our list of new arrivals here.

NEW ARRIVALS

#69 - “Scoreboard” - Fredo featuring Tiggs da Author

Produced by Show n Prove

Okay, well, we have a pretty star-studded roster within this week’s list of new songs, so much so that most won’t need introduction and here we are with our first new song from UK rapper Fredo, with London singer Tiggs da Author tagging on for what is either a loose or lead single, though I’m not particularly impressed by this one. Tiggs has a really nasal voice that doesn’t mesh well when the hi-hats are going to be that high in the mix, leading to a song with much less low-end than I feel like it should have, and the constant interruptions and stutters made to the percussion and Fredo’s voice prevent it from holding a real groove either. Additionally, the flows across the board seem awkward, as if the producers decided in post that it should be more of a playful and energetic song than either had planned, especially with Fredo spending most of his first verse repeating ideas from a verse I’d already heard from him, and whilst he brings some energy in the second, the content is still more generic than usual for Fredo so honestly this is kind of a disappointment.

#49 - “INTOXYCATED” - Oxlade featuring Dave

Produced by DeeYasso and Spax

I was wondering when some of these Afrobeats singers from the past year would try their hand at second hits, and given Nigerian artist Oxlade’s collaborations with Stormzy, it makes sense that he’d hit up Dave for the UK hip hop crossover appeal when he gets his second chance at a hit. It also helps that this is pretty good! The atmosphere is a lot more looming than in your typical Afrobeats, and the sly guitar plucks feel more dynamic as they rest under a sliding bass and Oxlade’s very R&B-influenced delivery, which tends to slip into vastly different deliveries and bizarrely-mixed harmonies so effortlessly and quickly that it’s honestly kind of sloppy, or at least that is until the empty space in the chorus that grounds the song back to reality, as both Oxlade and Dave lament about a relationship gone wrong. Dave is very well implemented here, as whilst his verse is coated in ad-libs and backing harmonies from Oxlade that allow for some trade-off with each other, there’s generally less space in the mix thanks to the subtle rap delivery that leads to each little production detail being much more in the focus compared to when Oxlade is on the mic. I think the best way to describe this song is “glassy”, and I don’t think it’s completely convinced me, but this is still very much a good follow-up from Oxlade and I hope it sticks around.

#45 - “Overdrive” - Post Malone

Produced by Post Malone, Louis Bell and watt

So we get a third single from Post’s already under-performing damage-control kind-of-self-titled featureless pivot album which, if going by the other two singles, is shaking up to be exactly a 5/10, and maybe this one can pick it up into decent territory? Well, this took a few listens because this song is kind of painful and pathetic, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing because Post mostly functions in that mode, but when edged against a Britpop backing of acoustic guitars and delivered predominantly in his upper register, it’s a bit hard to stomach on first listen and… man, this song reminds me of Comfort in Sound, a Feeder album I own but don’t particularly like because it is full of these kind of chug-along pop rock songs, wherein “uninspired” might just be the conceit of the whole album. There’s not much that’s unique to Post in this song apart from a fleeting reference to his tattoos, and I guess the whistling but that doesn’t last for particularly long and honestly doesn’t have much effect on the song’s progression, which just nonchalantly whittles through its own depression. It’s a snooze.

#25 - “Disconnect” - Becky Hill and Chase & Status

Produced by Chase & Status

So I’ll be the last person in a room to admit to liking Becky Hill, but I do like drum and bass duo Chase & Status, with this song debuting surprisingly high for both of them, especially given Chase & Status haven’t had a top 40 hit since 2013, so I was expecting at least something either out of the ordinary or genuine quality and... it’s drum and bass! She cheated! Chase & Status did an incredible job on the production here, with the wispy glitch and feedback screeches creating an oddly eerie vibe for a Becky Hill track, with her droning delivery about being stuck in a loop adding to that unsettled atmosphere. Then we set loose for the chorus, and oddly enough, Becky ends up functioning kind of like an MC with her percussive delivery on a minimal bass synth that devolves into a buzzing rave thrust over heavy breakbeats, as is the Chase & Status signature. The little creepy set of keys that plays over the drop alongside the sirens is such a good addition, and Becky - after an admittedly cringeworthy first verse - goes for an even more explicitly MC-esque tone on the second verse, which gives the song a very warm and reciprocal feeling unlike anything I’ve really heard from her. I’m sure 90% of why I like this can be attributed to Chase & Status but she puts up a fight here, and yes, I think for the first time ever, I can say that this Becky Hill song actually kind of bangs. Augh, I feel dirty just thinking about the prospect.

#24 - “Masculine” - J Hus featuring Burna Boy

Produced by TobIShyBoy and Levi Lennox

Sometimes, I like the three-song rule. This new J Hus album, Beautiful and Brutal Yard, debuted at #1 on the albums chart - congratulations - but it also has 19 songs, and 15 of them would have been in the top 75. Thankfully, OCC doesn’t make me have to deal with that - although it does mean I don’t hear as many of these J Hus songs as I would have because I’m not sitting through that album - so we get the two highest-performing new tracks right next to each other. This is “Masculine”, an Afroswing warning call to his enemies, with lush guitar strumming and kind of stiff percussion that allows for the darker atmosphere and really fat low-end to stand out, with J Hus and Burna Boy in particular being really clever and unique in their violent warnings, with that refrain from Burna Boy not just being smooth but genuinely convincing in its looming threat. I don’t particularly like the high-pitch vocal sample and it does lack a real hook apart from said refrain, with the actual chorus being more ignorable than it should be, so structurally, as a song, it kind of loses me, especially when J Hus gets pretty far outshined on his own record, but this is still pretty good.

#23 - “Militerian” - J Hus featuring Naira Marley

Produced by P2J and Stuart Hawkes

To quote a song you may be familiar with, Mr. Hus, who told you “militarian” was spelled like that? To be fair, the term isn’t common and seems to be referring to his fans, so he can decide how to spell that, I suppose, but it is slightly odd to call this song “Militarian” when it’s largely a pick-up song… and a great one at that. It teases the saxophone with little chirps amidst the tricky acoustics and flickering groove of the Afrobeats percussion in the intro and chorus, with P2J and Mr. Hawkes allowing for Nigerian singer Naira Marley, who already has a deep, rich voice and clocked-out delivery to completely mesh in. This means not only does J Hus stand out more but also that the song has this natural, effortless cool probably necessary for a song about picking up these girls that contains a line about how they have a connection like a WiFi connection. Sure, I’d understand why you’d need the song to sound cool to cover that up. Again, it is lacking in a really catchy hook, which I can’t even say about “Who Told You” and I don’t really like that song, but for a song that’s mission is to blend into the background and sound groovy doing so, it doesn’t do a half-bad job, especially with the vintage saxophone which is always an immediate way to win me over, especially when it undercuts Marley’s performance, who has an almost jazzy, improvised approach to his verse anyway. Hell, I’d prefer this song go further into the rich, jazzy details that it clearly has already. These two songs do give me a decent impression of that full album, though I have no idea how “It’s Crazy” fits in if the rest of the album is lush, subtle Afroswing, and I will probably never find out.

#21 - “Rush” - Troye Sivan

Produced by Styalz Fuego, NOVODOR and Zhone

Australian singer Troye Sivan is back with a… full-on house single, and that seems to be what the people wanted from him given this is his first top 40 hit since 2019, and his first solo one since 2018’s “My My My!”. I didn’t realise until now but I think I also wanted that sound from him, because this is one of those rare occasions where I can say I like a Troye Sivan song. This is mostly because of the sounds-like-a-sample he made with his producers that genuinely had me snooping around to see if it came from anywhere, but no, it’s an original vocal for this song seemingly - which means this may be the first episode in a while with no obvious samples in the new entries - and it sounds great, filtered amidst the washing-machine percussion to sound like a vintage funky house tune. The energy and sensual groove on this one is very organic and almost instinctual, with Troye’s lead vocal layering on top with his lazy, trickling inflections sounding as slippery as possible yet still lining up tightly with the beat, never missing a beat. Oh, and it’s about gay sex, and whilst I myself am not a homosexual man so I cannot confirm if this is an accurate reflection of the male-on-male experience, that chorus is pure euphoria so I could imagine that. Not that I am imagining it, I’m not particularly attracted to Troye Sivan or whoever his partner is. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course, it’s just that I’m not really interested in androphilia like that, and I’m sure you would understand, Troye, listen, it’s not you, it’s me--

#10 - “What Was I Made For?” - Billie Eilish

Produced by FINNEAS, Andrew Wyatt and Mark Ronson

So, the Barbie soundtrack is kind of a mess - I always would have preferred a cheesier Eurodance sound anyway, but where I thought Mark Ronson was going with funk-pop was fine, yet barely of the soundtrack actually has a cohesive sound, let alone any cohesive messages it wants to portray, but most of the songs ended up being pretty inoffensive or so garish they become pretty great. I mean, GAYLE samples Crazy Town on it so that should give you a taste. The one song that I felt did not really fit into the two categories was of course, the Billie Eilish ballad that has landed in the top 10, becoming her ninth song to do so, and whilst I have yet to see the film, if this is implemented in any way into the film, it has the potential to be a tear-jeker because this is incredible. Billie’s typical intimate cooing is uncomfortably close to the front of the mix whilst also having a more distant reverb added to its multi-tracked harmonies, presuming a simultaneous closeness whilst also dragging you far away from the “real” feelings behind each word. A lot of the lyrics could have links to Billie’s experience with fame, or really, the Barbie doll itself, but looking at human relationships through the idea of construction is pretty interesting as a conceit even separated from it, and I’ve always found the transactional nature of human response and communication fascinating, so this desperate approach, struggling to make sense of her own self-identity and what she’s feeling partly because she is forced to do so within the space of other people, really resonated with me. “I’m sad again, don’t tell my boyfriend - it’s not what he’s made for” is a killer line, and whilst the song is missing a bridge to fully insert that dagger into the tear ducts, FINNEAS’ typically minimal piano backing further allows for the dichotomy of distance and personal intimacy that essentially is the song’s ethos. Then of course, the fluttering synth strings come in, slinging themselves in the galaxy behind Billie’s vocal, and I feel like crying - thanks, Barbie movie! Nothing else on the soundtrack even comes close to this level of quality, but I’m glad the O’Connors found an outlet within to release this track because it is beautiful.

#3 - “Seven” - Jung Kook featuring Latto

Produced by watt and Cirkut

So, okay, Jung Kook, this is Latto. Latto, this is Jung Kook. Jung Kook will be your K-pop bad boy popstar for the next three minutes, and Latto, you will be his rent-a-rapper feature for that time. My buddies watt and Cirkut have made the perfect focus-tested pop-R&B beat for you too, it’s going to be great. Okay, well, I could joke about the manufactured nature of K-pop forever, but this is Jung Kook’s first real solo effort after a couple of stray singles released for soundtracks and… Charlie Puth albums, and is it any good? Well, no, of course not, but it’s not nearly as bad as a 2-step garage sex song by a BTS member could have been, leading to a pretty generic single that traces just about everything it could have and does it in a boringly competent way: the vaguely lo-fi acoustic guitar, a cute buzzing synth in the back, and a cheesy Craig David-esque chorus where he lists the days in the week because he’ll be loving Latto for all seven days of the week. Do they never get bored? Surely Jung Kook has a busy day at the office one week and just wants to sit on the couch watching Family Guy one day, or Latto has to monitor their kids at a birthday party they got invited to on another day. I’ll admit, it is insanely catchy and it’s still marginally funny for me to hear the BTS boys swear - I don’t know why - so there’s at least some amusement here but mostly this is in one ear and out the other, yet unlike most K-pop, I fully expect this to stick around. It’s on-trend, actually has some streaming traction and hey, I can even see it growing on me.

Conclusion

It’s not getting Best of the Week though, of course not. Billie Eilish snatches that easily with “What Was I Made For?”, as Troye Sivan slips in a surprisingly close Honourable Mention for “Rush”, though I may as well actually tie that with “Disconnect” by Becky Hill and Chase & Status. This was also mostly a good week, but I do have to give Worst of the Week to someone and sadly Post Malone gets it for “Overdrive”, which feels like kicking a puppy. As for what’s on the horizon, I suppose we’ll see the impact of that soundtrack, and God, the start of that Travis Scott rollout. That is for the 28th though, so thank you for reading, rest in peace to Tony Bennett and I’ll see you next week!

[vanchlo]

The Partner / Chapter Two, “One Step Closer”

Word Count: 10k words /  Story Masterlist /  Read The Assistant /  Read on Wattpad /  *College resumes for me this coming week so chapters will, once again, be random* /  Song: Love Is On The Radio by McFly

“You’re weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it’s because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it.”

- Buffy the Vampire Slayer  |  3x10 - “Amends”

It had been bothering me all morning, ever since Harry’s comment. If I was telling myself the truth, it had been gnawing away at the insides of my brain for longer than that. 

There was so much inside of me telling me that his suspicion was right when all I wanted was for it to be wrong. If I was doing that truth thing again, of course, there was a remaining part of me that wanted it to be right, but it was miniscule at best. No more was said about it after that, but that fact in itself only made it harder to forget. Even if I had wanted to speak to him about it, he had been in partner meetings all day. I knew he was due for lunch here soon, and that’s what led me to run a quick errand before then, nabbing the car keys from his right drawer where he always left them for occasions like this. 

I certainly didn’t think that this was how it would be happening, at Harry’s firm of all places. Our firm? Guilt seeped under my skin the second I had put my plan into action, well aware that he had no idea what I was doing. Tears had been close all day long, since the time those joking words had left his lips. Sure, the blame went to him on that, but I couldn’t have known what it would lead to, either. Even he didn’t. We both could deserve the blame for this entire thing, if it turned out to be true. 

The second it’s done, I find that I can’t get myself to follow through. The closest thing I’ve felt to relief all day comes when I see my watch reads one o’clock. It feels like every person I pass knows my secret, despite that being an impossibility and more. The only person who could have the smallest inkling is the person whose door I stop in front of, because I’m not sure how I can do this. Or, that I can. I’ve surprised myself by getting this far in my plan. 

When the door opens for me, I can’t decide whether I feel lucky that he made the next decision for me. “Hi, bug. How’s yer mornin’ been? ‘ve missed you, y’know. Oh, whatcha got there? Did ya get me lunch?” his words couldn’t be sweeter. Neither could his hand that brushes against my cheek, sliding down my arm next. Alarms blare inside of me, yelling to tell him while others repeat the opposite. I don’t know why, but doubt floods me within milliseconds. I know that he wouldn’t be upset, but then how come I suddenly worry that he would be? “Ev’rythin’ okay, Becks?”

“I-I . . ,” I try and my failure is almost immediate. The only thing that I succeed at is pushing him back into his office, and closing the door. 

“Becks, what’s wrong, love?” urgency shines through in his voice. It’s the last thing that I can find, in my hand or my lips. My name graces my ears a few times more as I stare at the floor, not knowing how I could ever say this. Not just that, unsure of how I can make the next move, knowing that it very well may change my life from this moment on. His, too. 

“I-I can’t do it, Harry.”  

Three Weeks Earlier . . 

The sound of the wooden door finding its hinges is deafening, ringing throughout the historic hallway. His booming footsteps may be even louder as I try to follow them, but his legs are just too damn long. I’m not sure if I want to even follow him, knowing what’s about to happen.

“What tha fuck was that?” he spits at me, malice laced throughout his words. I thought at least he’d wait until the car, but I guess not. Fuck me, and not in a good way. 

“Can we not do this here?” my attempt at a whisper is pathetic. When he whips around, making me stop suddenly, I wish I’d never said anything. 

“Do what? Talk ‘bout how you jus’ made us lose our fuckin’ case?” Harry retorts. Hanging my head low, I keep it that way as I walk around him. It’s not that easy though, or so I find, as I walk past them. All of the other lawyers waiting, as if in the dugout, outside the doors to Courtrooms 11, 12, and 13. “‘Cos you did, y’know that, right?” Wow, thanks for the fucking audience, Harry. 

“How was I supposed to know they had that evidence, Harry?” my words are explosive, but they’re nothing compared to his eyes. If you slapped a long haired wig on him and made him clean shaven, it’d be just like four years ago. He hadn’t always stayed away though, especially not when he had been drinking, but it had been a while since that. Nearly a year. Then, why now? 

“We knew ‘bout it, so you should’ve planned fer it, Becks.”

“I did my best, Harry,” I mutter under my breath, pointing my eyes at him. Why was he acting like this, so entitled and . . not like my Harry?

“Ya, well ‘s not good enough,” he replies curtly with a nasty curl to his lips, disgust painting his face. I make the mistake of lifting my head, catching the last second of wandering gazes before they pretend like they weren’t watching our spat unfold. “Let’s go befo’ dinner traffic starts.”

/

“Where d’ya think yer goin’?” it’s not a joke, like it would so often be. No, he’s still here, and I was so close to finally making my escape. 

“I’m going to Skye’s for dinner.” 

“But, I was gonna make fish, and-,” I don’t let him finish, because he’s been doing the very same thing to me. All day long. Clipped replies, shooting down my ideas, and doing nothing to hide his disappointment in me. “And, we’re not done talkin’ ‘bout t’day, Becks.” 

“No, Harry, we are. And, you don’t get to call me that when you’re acting like this,” my words are firm, the most they’ve been in awhile. It was long overdue, even more than that. It zips his lips shut quicker than I could have hoped, and at last, he’s listening to me now. “We spoke about it the entire way here from the courthouse, Harry. You talked at me, yelled at me the whole car ride. Don’t you think that was more than enough?”

I know that I’ve made the wrong decision entirely when he rises from his chair, standing to his astounding height of six feet. I’d been loving him for the last few years, and officially for the last one and a half, so I knew what was coming by the look on his face. 

“No, ‘m yer boss and I say we’re not done speakin’ ‘bout this. So, sit.” 

“No,” emphasis carries in my voice, making him look as if I slapped him across the face. A groove appears between his eyebrows that sink towards his eyes. “You can’t talk to me like that, Harry. Yes, I’m your mentee and your employee, but I’m your girlfriend too. Isn’t that more important? I fucked up and made a mistake, and we lost a case. How many goddamn times do I have to tell you that I’m sorry, Harry?” a response from his lips is absent, and I can’t find one on his face as he stares back at me blankly. 

The look in his eyes begins to tug at my heart once the tears have begun to leave stripes down my cheeks. God, could there for once be a time that I don’t fucking cry?

“Shit,” I mutter, wiping hastily at my cheeks. Huffing, I blink them away until his face focuses in my view. I love him, and I try to remind myself of that, but God, I am so fucking mad at him right now. He had said it to me, and now, I can’t stop thinking about it. “We’re on the same team, Harry, have you forgotten that? You keep saying lately that we should fight with love and while on the same team, but you’re a hypocrite, because you don’t! What the fuck? I’m sorry I missed that evidence writing up our argument, and that I wasn’t prepared when it came up, but what was I supposed to do? You didn’t tell me how to fix that- y-you didn’t teach me what to do when that happens, Harry. This is why I haven’t worked a case with you in awhile, because you get like this. You micromanage, you hover when I’m trying to work, you have me on too short of a leash when I’m trying to take some freedom, or you give me too much of it when I need more help. You’re demeaning, Harry, you pull the boss card when it’s not fucking needed. I know that I’m dating one of the most renowned and successful lawyers in London- hell, all of Britain, but you’re my boyfriend too. I haven’t even been practicing for two years, and it’s going to be a long time until I don’t make mistakes anymore. I’m doing my best, and it’s never enough for you. Do you remember that, when you said my best isn’t good enough in front of all of those lawyers at the courthouse, Harry? Can you even comprehend how embarrassing that was for me? I’m your girlfriend, and despite how we tried to hide it, everybody knows it. That’s not how you treat your girlfriend, Harry, or even if we weren’t dating, your coworker. We’re talking about getting engaged soon, Harry, and then what? How can we be the Styles lawyer couple when my husband treats me like I’m below him because he gets mad at me for not knowing how to do something that he never taught me? . . Talk to Simon or Jilly, because I’m not working another case with you until you stop acting like this.”

“Becks, honey. I-” the very same word from his lips is found in his words, but I’m already shaking my head at him. A part of me wants to let him continue, but the other one insists that he’s the one who does the listening this time. 

“No, don’t you give me those goddamn puppy dog eyes, Harry Styles,” my warning holds more weight to it than I thought I could manage. He’s surprised too, by the way I don’t return his few second smile. “You can’t just fix this with an ‘I’m sorry’ and some pet names, Harry. I-I need to go. I can’t be here right now.” 

And so I leave, fleeing to my other best friend to pour my heart out about the other one. Rinse and repeat. 

/

The house was unusually quiet for eight o’clock. I kept putting it off, coming home. Finally, Skye did what she does best and kicked me out, insisting that I go and have some angry sex with my boyfriend, and then talk it out. It beats me why her solution to everything was sex, no matter how many times I vented to her about a row we had, that was always her answer. Sex. Have angry sex. Shower sex. Sofa sex. Slow sex. Dirty sex. Bent over the kitchen counter sex. Car sex, even. It only reminded me to never ask her where she hadn’t done it. 

It was dark, save for the soft light above the stove. “Alexa, turn living room light to warm,” I ask softly, hoping that he can’t hear me. I’m just not ready yet. 

Ideas for my lunch tomorrow fill my head until they’re whisked away when I open the fridge, finding my lunchbag beside his. An electric blue Post-It note sits on one of the purple handles. 

I got your lunch sorted, bug, and for the rest of the week. Month, if you even want. Love you most, I’m so bloody sorry xoxoxo

His chicken scratch plants a warmth inside of me, one that I can’t deny when I close the door, and pad up the stairs. “Alexa, turn light off.”

If he was working in his downstairs study, I’d done a good job of being quiet enough, but that was never the case. I swear, I had the sound of his footsteps memorized by now. My knack for recognizing my mum’s angry stomping had carried on to my adult years, somewhat fortunately. 

When it came down to it, there were few things about Harry that weren’t attractive. Sure, I could make a list of them spanning a notebook page if I thought hard enough, starting with today’s main feature. He wasn’t any more perfect than the rest of us, but sometimes in the right light he was for me. He still was despite his flaws. 

The slope of his toned back was one of them, one of his imperfect perfections that he didn’t even know about. It was the first glimpse I got of him when I stopped in the open doorway of our bedroom. It had been a long time since I could remember him wearing a shirt to bed, probably last winter, if I had to say. If he heard the whispery sounds of my breaths and impending footsteps, he didn’t make it known. Neither did he when I crossed the room and escaped into the bathroom to get ready for bed. 

Despite the time I spent readying myself to see him and talk to him, it wasn’t enough. No, it didn’t prepare me for the way my heart seemed to split open when I stepped out of the bathroom to find his face devoid of sunshine and red rimmed eyes threatened with more tears. If I could find the right words, which I couldn’t, I wouldn’t have even said any as I found my way to our bed, slipping under the covers on his side, the left one. His ragged breaths are hot against my bare neck, and his tears soon gracing my skin are tepid, but passionate with sobs. 

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” he whimpers, words divulged into me. Against my skin. Apparently, today was opposite day, because as I hold him against me, I’m teeming with guilt. “Did ya not think I could handle t’ hear it?”

“No, not really . . I wanted to find a good time to tell you, and not when we were having a row, but it just came out today. I’m sorry for the way that I said it, and how I left like that. You can’t fight fire with fire.” 

“‘s okay, I deserved it fer how I treated you t’day, bub. ‘m so sorry,” his sob stings against my ears, almost pulling an adjoining one from my lips. “I think yer a great lawyer, really, I do. This case was jus’ so hard and I let it get t’ me and overshadow ev’rythin’ else. ‘s s’posed t’ be a learning experience fer you, and I fo’got that. Becks . . “ 

“It’s okay, Harry. It’s not, but it is. You just . . you have to work on it. Not just for me, but Simon and Jilly too who work with you, and for yourself,” I tell him amidst combing the tangles out of his ear length curls. 

“Maybe ‘m not cut out t’ be a teacher, Becks. ‘m terrible at it, as you can see.” 

“No, you’re not, Harry. You’re my favorite teacher, you still are. Teachers have their own learning to do, too.” 

“I dunno,” he sighs, sniffling against the tears that have made my neck slick. A silence falls between us, and I’m not sure what else to say, before he does it for me. “How can I get better, Becks? Please, tell me.” 

“Harry, you . . you have to relax about it. Jilly’s only an intern, and Simon graduated when I did, but he may not have as much experience as me, I dunno. Everybody’s different and every case is, too. You have to lower your expectations, I think, and raise them when you can. Sometimes, you need to loosen the leash you have on them, or tighten it, depending on how much help they need. You need to act as if they don’t know something - how to write briefs, how to finish a closing statement, how to interview a witness . . Not in a demeaning way, but in a teachable way. When they mess up, take a deep breath before telling them it’s okay, and use it as a teachable moment. Nobody is perfect, Harry, and it’s okay that you aren’t, either.”

“Sounds like you should be tha teacher, not me,” he remarks gingerly, but in a way that the sadness has devoured his happiness. This was the voice of his I perhaps hated worse than when he yells at me. “I can’t believe tha way I treated you t’day, Becks. I didn’t go over what we should do if tha state found that evidence, ‘cos I forgot ‘bout it once that missing witness was found . . ‘s not yer fault that we lost it, it really isn’t. They jus’ played their cards right, ‘s all. We’ll do better next time- Well, if you’ll have me back.” 

He didn’t mean to, but he feeds the guilt monster inside of me. I wish I could hate it, but I know he means well. 

“It’s not a question, Harry. I will come back to work with you. I just- I didn’t know it’d be this hard working together sometimes. Since we’re dating and we both are passionate about law, I thought it’d mean we’d be great on a team together at work, but . . “ 

“‘s easier said than done,” he concludes for the both of us, reminding me of that talent he has with words. “Becks, I don’t wanna be like this . . ‘specially when we have kids. I hate it when I hurt those I love,” his sob rips another seam in my heart. Pulling him closer doesn’t help, but it brings a temporary respite when he’s pressed to my front. 

“Harry, you’ll be a great dad, I know it. We all have things we need to work on, we’re always a work in progress, and that’s okay too,” something inside of me clenches at the appearance of his red rimmed eyes and wet cheeks when he pulls away from me. He had always been better at wiping away the tears, but I do my best, and know that’s all that I can do. “We better hope none of them become lawyers.” 

The rip starts to stitch itself back up when a ray of sunshine spills from his grinning lips, even if it’s the smallest of smiles. Tipping my head forward, my forehead comes to rest on his, and I watch as his eyes fall shut. 

“You still love me?” his question is mumbled, and there goes that stitching. 

“Don’t be silly, of course I still love you, Harry. I don’t think I could stop if I tried, not that I’d want to.” 

His sages are tired when they open, and it makes it difficult to not think about late nights with him and a baby in our arms. One that I hope looks like him, getting his dimples, eyes, and sunshine. I wonder what we’d name them. 

“You still stuck on that girl name if we had a daughter?” I pose aloud to him, welcoming the change of subjects. His nod is emphatic and so is my giggle, still unable to think of a better baby name than that one. 

“Can’t believe ya still insist on namin’ our one day son Lenny,” Harry tsks, but I know he’s joking by the dimple set in his cheek. 

“Come on, you still don’t like it? How do you, a Beatles and John fan, not like the idea of naming your son Lennon Styles? Doesn’t it just sound, I dunno, so perfect?” I hope I’m right, that the tears have begun to dry up from his eyes.  

“Sorry, love, but as much as I love The Beatles, I jus’ can’t get on that bandwagon. Maybe ‘Lennon,’ but defo not ‘Lenny,’ sounds like an old man name or somethin’,” Harry titters, the very sound going straight for my heart. Yawning, I decide it’s my time to bury my face in his neck, sighing at the comfort of his arms going around me. “‘m so sorry ‘bout t’day, Becks. I promise you ‘ll get better. Fer you . . fer me, and our family one day.” 

“Thank you. Your dedication to wanting to get better is one of the things I love most about you, Harry. You know that?” I hum, my eyes fluttering shut at the intoxicating smell of him. I’m not sure there was ever a time where it didn’t calm me, until earlier today. 

Any sign of sleep is whisked away when I’m rolled onto my back, and he’s hovering over me, pinning my arms above my head. Oh, boy. This could go two very different ways, but I know which one I’m leaning towards. 

“Ya sure ‘s not me huge dick ya love most?” despite the tears stuck to his eyelashes, the shine in his eye is beginning to return. It may be a different kind as of now, but I welcome it, regardless. 

It’s undeniable that I’m going to get it for this one, but this too I embrace, “Now, I wouldn’t call it huge.” 

It grows in his eyes, the twinkling of mischief. God, how could I ever not learn to forgive that face? That stupidly goddamn handsome face. 

“Becky Styles, what tha fuck am I gonna do with you, Ms. Smart Mouth?”

“Come on, you know that’s what you love most about me,” my grin couldn’t be bigger. Neither could his automatic eye roll. “My mouth.” 

“Hush, li’l one, or else yer not gettin’ any o’ this dick.” 

“I know what you can do with me . . well, with that huge dick of yours, Harry,” at the end, my words collapse into a loud chuckle, especially when his teeth nip at my ear. 

“Bloody hell, stop talkin’, Becks. Yer distractin’ me.” 

“Good.” 

With his curls hanging in his eyes, a different warmth appears in his eyes, “‘s a good thing yer me favorite distraction, love.” 

/

I had tried and tried, but nothing. It wasn’t working. 

“What the fuck?” I mutter underneath my breath. Pulling my light coat around me tighter, I shiver, narrowing my eyes at the screen. Sliding my sleeve back, I lift my wrist and wake up my Apple watch. “Hey, Siri. Call Harry.” 

There’s a pause until I hear the robotic voice, “There is only ‘Harry Big Dick Styles’ in your Contacts. Would you like to call them or another number?”

“Yes,” I groan, rolling my eyes at the new name Harry had chosen for himself in my phone. By now, I could sniff it out on him, the little smirk he got when he’d ask to ‘borrow my phone’ to look something up. The little shit. 

“Yes, call who?”

“Call ‘Harry Big Dick Styles,’” although it doesn’t warrant a whisper, I still do, despite being alone in my office. He got what he wanted, alright. The device soon starts to ring, and it rings, and rings. Pressing the red phone icon, I end it, “Yeah, avoid my call so I don’t chew you out for putting your name as that in my phone, Harry Edward.” 

While my head rocks from side to side, mumbled curses fall from my lips as I close out of that tab. Switching to another, I type in the name of the other database, reentering my search for like, the hundredth time. 

“Knock knock!” somebody chirps from outside my door, opening it regardless. “Hey, Ree, hope I’m not interrupting some important lawyer thing of yours. I’m just glad I didn’t walk in on a row of yours with Harry. You two lovebirds better now?”

“Oh, hey, Skye. No, you’re okay and we’re good again. I was about to chuck my computer at the wall, so it’s probably best you came and saved me,” I sigh, watching my best friend waltz in, plopping onto my sofa. With an ‘ooo,’ she helps herself to Harry’s candy dish on the corner of my desk. Sometimes, I really do hate him. 

“What’s this ‘bout throwin’ yer Mac at tha wall? Tha thousand dollar laptop I bought you?” comes another voice into my office. Huffing, my hand comes to my face, rubbing at the furrow between my brows. Have I said lately how much I hate his sarcastic ass?

“Shutup, Harry,” Skye retorts for me, sorting through the caramels and chocolates until she locates the last mini Snickers bar. 

“Hey, watch tha mouth and Skye, those are my sweets!” he exclaims, quick steps carrying him over to my desk to bat at her hand. 

“Fuck off, I got it first.”

“Shouldn’t you two be workin’ or somethin’?” Harry sighs, biting off a block of chocolate as he takes a seat besides Skye. 

“Shouldn’t you?” by accident, Skye and I say it at the same time. Moaning, Harry crosses his arms over his chest with a pout. Good God, I don’t even want to imagine how stubborn our kids would be. 

“Fuck off, I own that sofa yer sittin’ on, could very well kick you outta me firm, if I like.” 

“Fuck off, I own that sofa yer sittin’ on, yada yada, ‘m this big fancy lawyer who thinks he has a big dick and ‘s tha best thing since sliced bread,” I try and fail to hold back the laughter spurred by Skye’s near perfect imitation of Harry’s accent, and his cocky attitude. His head slowly shakes from side to side, eyes narrowed at Skye while taking another bite from his dark chocolate bar. 

“Yer really gonna get it. Swear, yer never gonna be tha godmother, Skye.” 

“Wait, really?! It’s about time you fucking knocked her up,” she blurts

out and I’m laughing before I register what she’s saying. It comes to a skidding halt, but Harry’s shaking head doesn’t. 

“Ya, don’t think ‘d want me kids ‘round you, ya fuckin’ nutjob,” my boyfriend jokes, mouth full of chocolate. 

Skye’s jaw falls and she slaps at his arm, shoving at him next, but of course, he doesn’t go anywhere. Leaning forward, Harry easily towers over her in his dark violet suit, lips spread into a shit eating grin. 

“Who’s pregnant?” now, this voice is new, but it doesn’t take me long to locate its owner. All eyes flit to the doorway where Asher spreads his hands on the frame, peering inside with bent brows. 

“Um, nobody but . . ,” Skye sighs. A look dawns in her eyes, and it doesn’t take me long to figure it out. “I may be after looking at you . . Fuck, did I say that out loud?” she whispers, looking away from him with wide eyes. 

Harry’s obnoxious belly laughter breaks the silence when he puts his scarlet colored face in his hands. I’m afraid he might piss his pants if he laughs any harder. There’s nothing I can do to stop mine from joining his. Thankfully, Skye and Asher are soon laughing too. A few moments after we’ve collected ourselves, she gets to her feet, walking over to him in a Scooby Doo tie-dyed sweatshirt. This is one of her less eccentric outfits, if I do say so myself. 

“Hi. Um, let me try that again. I’m Skye, Becky’s best friend. And, you must be?” she says, holding out a hand accented with neon pink nail polish. A sound jars me from my watching of the moment. Looking over, I find it to be Harry taking a seat on the corner of my desk, his long legs touching mine. 

“Would ya look at them? Who woulda thought?” he whispers to me, nodding his head at the pair who exchange introductions and laughs. 

“Yeah, God.” 

“Aww, love,” Harry croons, loudly chewing his chocolate. 

“Yeah, speaking of that,” I exclaim in a hushed voice, pinching the inside of his thigh. 

“Ow! What’d ya do that fer? Y’know ‘s sensitive there,” he almost retorts, rubbing the skin underneath his trousers. “You could’ve gotten me balls!” 

“Don’t you give me that look, Harry Styles! You have some explaining to do - what the fuck is this?” I bite back, grabbing my phone and showing him my recent calls. I don’t even have to blink and his eager lips are dealing irresistible laughs, cheeks reddening like a tomato. “I tried to call you like five minutes ago for help with the databases, and I see this! What if I’m with my Dad and you called, Harry?”

There’s no chance he’s saying anything anytime soon, because all he can do is laugh and avoid. Picking up a magazine from my desk, I swat it at his shoulder. 

“Hey, watch it!” Harry warns, but his voice swimming with laughs does little to intimidate me. “That’s tha issue we’re in! Don’t wrinkle it now, we hafta frame that one.” 

Groaning, he carefully pries the copy of the local business magazine, Pulse, that he and Myles were on the cover of. I’m rather sure I wanted to frame it and hang it on my wall, because that was one good picture of Harry, if I ever saw one. 

A tiny yelp leaves my lips when he leans forward and pinches my boob. 

“Harry!” I exclaim, shoving him away, but it’s hard to do so when he’s laughing up a storm. “I’ll do it, I swear to God.” 

“You wouldn’t,” he bets aloud with a disbelieving shake of his head. His lips have begun to quiet down, and so have mine as he stays leaning towards mine, hands resting on his thighs. God, those thighs. “Not in front o’ them.” 

“You pinched my fucking boob in front of them, you don’t think I’ll do it? They don’t even remember we’re here right now,” I bite back, sitting up in my chair and meeting him in the middle. A word readies on his lips, but his face changes instantly when my hand flies to his bum, poking between his cheeks. 

“You li’l shit!” Harry almost yelps, grabbing my hand, only infuriated more by my laughing. 

“Can you two stop being so gay over there? I’m trying to talk to Asher,” Skye pipes up. Harry gives me a funny look at the way she says his name all sultry like. 

“Oooo, kissy kissy,” my boyfriend whispers to me from the cover of his hand. Turning his head with a smirk, our attention goes back to them. Mine only lapses for a moment when Harry pulls my hand into his, thumbing at my promise ring. It was something he had been doing a lot of lately. 

Something I had been doing a lot of lately- well, always was how I could never stop myself from admiring the way he looked in what he wore to work. His suits. If Skye and Asher weren’t in the room right now, although on a different plane of existence it seems, I’m not sure there’d be much stopping me from devouring Harry’s thighs right now. It didn’t help that he had them spread wide open facing me, and that his trousers were especially tight today. 

“You’re bad,” I almost hiss, squeezing his hand. With questioning brows, he looks back to me with a ‘what?’ “Sitting like that.” 

I can’t roll my eyes fast enough at the way his dimples fall into his cheeks with another shit eating grin of his. “Y’know, Becks,” he whispers, moving so he’s full on facing me, showing me a lovely view of the bulge in his pants. “If ya told ‘em t’ leave, ‘d fuck you so hard on that sofa tha second they’re gone.” 

“Harry,” it’s a soft laugh at best, but it doesn’t get very far when his lips smash themselves against mine. 

“Hmmm, seems we got our wish,” he muses aloud, bringing my eyes to the door, watching them leave on their own accord. Skye’s smile couldn’t be brighter, and wait, was Asher blushing? “Hello? Becks?” 

Blinking hard, my eyes snap back over to Harry. Blankly, I watch his every move. The way he slinks off his blazer, revealing the sheer white button-up he had teased me with this morning- well, all day. My bottom lip sings with pain from my teeth when he takes his time pulling his trousers down, exposing the significant bulge in his briefs. A wet circle of precum already marks where the tip of his dick is. 

“Ya got tha door?” he asks, just like every time, and I mumble an impatient response. 

God, I wouldn’t be surprised if I happened to end up pregnant sometime soon, because holy shit, this man. He may be an asshole, but the name he put in my phone wasn’t wrong, that’s for sure. 

/

I had come to memorize many things about Harry, from the way that he would only shave on Friday nights, would drink a glass of water first thing in the morning, and the sounds that he made. All the kinds. He had his own little humming that he did sometimes when he didn’t think anybody noticed, or the way he played with his lips and bit them. 

There was one thing about him that had melted into the background, like so many of them had by now, and that included the sound currently stemming from behind his office door. Words paused on my lips once I stepped inside, instantly mesmerized by the sounds that came from the way his fingers danced across the strings. It seems he had my sounds memorized too, because his stop suddenly, and his eyes are searching for mine. When they land on me, his cheeks crease with a shy smile. 

“You finished it,” it’s more of a statement than a question, despite knowing that he could spend another week perfecting it until he’s happy. He nods with a content smile, mindlessly picking the song slowly. “It sounds amazing, babe, even better than yesterday.” 

He mumbles a few words of thanks before his attention is captured again by the six stringed instrument, head bent over it in concentration. The luster has fled from his lips but the furrow above his nose has returned. 

The question leaves my lips and I’m not sure if I should’ve stopped it, uncertain of the story on his pages, “Alright?” His response isn’t immediate, neither a good or bad sign, I’ve found. With my arms looped around his neck from behind, I have a bird’s eye view of his fingers on his guitar. 

“Jus’ nervous fer t’night,” Harry’s voice is seldom shy, but right now, that word covers it. Over and over. 

“It’ll be okay. It’s just dinner.” 

“Ya right, ‘s the dinner, Becks. I don’t want it t’ go wrong or somethin,’” he remarks, fingers drifting up and down the neck of the guitar. It finds me, hastily and passionately, a sudden decision. I surprise even myself, leaving my stance behind him to walk around the chair, plucking the guitar from his hands. “What d’ya think yer doin’?” it comes out in his joking lilt, a dimple popping. 

“Teach me,” I say, and you’d thought by the look on his face that I had said I was quitting or something worse. It doesn’t stay very long because it melts into a smile that almost touches his ears, if only it could. 

“Thanks, bug,” although it’s not all there, I hear his words. All of them. Thanks for the distraction from my anxious thoughts, Becks. “C’mere, baby.” 

Patting his lap, I roll my eyes when he winks at me, sending me air kisses. I mutter a ‘shut up’ as I carefully take a seat until my back is flush with his chest. Letting him take control, he guides my hands to hold the guitar - left hand grasping the neck at the top and my right resting on the strings over the guitar’s hole. The smile already claiming my lips climbs a little higher at the feeling of his lips sponging a kiss to my cheek. 

“Thank you,” it’s a mere whisper but I catch it. It’s gone in a blink, but the way he placed his face against mine made my heart flutter. It had been a long time since I had let Harry try to teach me guitar again, despite his insisting that I could learn another instrument. Let’s just say that the first few times didn’t go that pretty due to a certain over controlling teacher. 

“Will you help me too?” 

“Mmmhmm,” I respond softly to his nervous question, turning my head ever so slightly to connect my lips with his cheek. “What does E major look like again?”

“This here, Boops,” his breath tickles my cheek, smelling of what else, but black coffee. He really is getting old, I think jokingly to myself, hoping I never have to give up teasing him about his age. I hope that I can keep it going for years and years to come, especially when he actually is old. The thought only makes me wonder what he was like as a teenager, and even just in his twenties, before I had met him. “‘Kay, noodle arms, help me out here.” 

“Oh, sorry,” I wheeze, maneuvering my hand with his help to the second fret, arranging my fingers on the strings. I strum but we both laugh at how bad it sounds, nothing like when he does it. “Harry?” pressing my fingers down more firmly on the metal strings, I drag the hard pick across the strings. Again and again. 

“Ya, Becks?” 

“What were you like when you were younger?”

“What, ‘s this another o’ yer old jokes where ya think yer funny?” he muses, helping me to move my hand again. “Here’s a C, this one may be easier fer you. E and C are some o’ tha main chords. Y’know, many songs don’t have mo’ than 5 chords, so once you master tha main ones, yer golden.” 

“Okay, but I can’t even play one,” it comes out in a giggle, lighter than air. He says something about practice and trying, dodging the question. “No, I’m just curious what you were like . . before I knew you. Baby Harry.” 

“You’ve seen photos o’ me, and heard stories from me mum and sista.” 

“Yeah, you were all hair, that’s nothing new,” the strings have begun to make my fingertips sting. That was one of the reasons I had thrown in the towel so early when it had come to learning guitar. Patience. It’s not something that Harry or I have. “You were in a band in high school, and you worked at a bakery running the till. What else? Like, what did you enjoy doing in your free time? What was your favorite cereal? When was your first real kiss?”

“Y’know some o’ this already, Becks,” a snort of his almost graces my temple where his cheek is pressed to mine. “I listened t’ music almost any chance I got, hung with me best mates - Tommy, Lola, and Morgan. Me fav cereal were tha chocolate puffs, whatever they were called. First kiss, hmm . . I guess me first real one was like fifteen, or somethin’ close t’ that. Here name was Heather Roberts. How’s ‘bout you, love? Seein’ as how we’re doin’ this twenty questions thing, I s’pose ‘s my turn. What was yer first job? First record? Favorite kid program you never missed an episode of?”

“First job was babysitting my neighbor’s two boys. God, they were a handful, two and three and mad as can be. My first record was Abbey Road, my dad’s copy he gave me after I got into The Beatles when I was like, 13. Um, favorite program was What’s New Scooby Doo,” the memories tell themselves. My cheeks fill out with a smile as he nudges his nose against my face, forgetting about the guitar to press repetitive kisses there. “Sir, you’re supposed to be teaching me how to play the guitar, not making out with my neck.” 

“Priorities,” he mumbles. First, there’s the smooth feeling of his nose underneath my ear, and then the contrasting feeling of his hairy upper lip. Squirming, I hadn’t even noticed the guitar was absent from our hands, he must have snuck putting it down. 

“Harry,” my giggle doesn’t last long before he’s turning me in my arms, and smashing his lips against mine the second he gets the chance. Effortlessly, my legs find a place on the other side of his, and my hands fall into his hair, just like always. “We’re supposed to be . . . working,” I hardly get out in between kisses from his busy lips.

“Couldn’t care less,” he insists in sighs. “Yer boss says not t’ worry ‘bout it.” 

“Rose is my boss now.” 

“God, would you please shut up?” his lips buzz against mine with a chuckle, one that I can’t help but copy. Rushed breaths tickle at the other’s skin amidst escaped laughs. There were few moments in the day where I wasn’t enveloped by his scent, one that had by accident spread to me too when I stole his body wash in the shower. My fingers are met with the satiny ribbons of his curly hair, despite his often protests to not mess it up after he had finally gotten it perfect in the morning. 

A squeak escapes me when his rings press against my bum through my black slacks, some harsher than others. I just make out the beginning of his mischievous laugh as my body shifts above him, finally settling down on top of his lap. 

“Woman,” Harry grumbles against my mouth, trapping my bottom lip between his sharp teeth. My giggle turns into a whine of pain with the pressure of his teeth. It only stays at the feeling of his crotch bucking up against mine from beneath. “You drive me mad,” a long sigh touches my lips when I tug down, listening to the sound of his zipper. 

“Priorities,” I echo, watching the way his rosebud lips spread with sunshine. 

/

“Breathe.” 

“I can’t, dunno how you can,” it comes out as a perturbed sigh and nothing less. “‘m sorry, don’t mean t’ get short with you.” 

“It’s okay,” I answer, feeling the way his rings pinch my skin when I squeeze his hand. 

“Hope so,” is all Harry says when he glances over at me, rubbing a hand down his face. 

“He’ll come, it’s only been a few minutes. You were like, ten minutes late for our first date, don’t you remember?”

“Oh ya,” his cheeks couldn’t be more red as they’re attacked with a surprise smile. “God, I still can’t believe I did that.” 

“Neither can I. That’ll be a good story to tell our kids.” 

“Ya, we’ve got loads o’ ‘em, and plenty o’ embarrassin’ ones ‘bout you,” he quips with a sly grin, making me shake my head. “What? If yer gonna tell tha bad ones ‘bout me, then ‘ll tell tha bad ones ‘bout you,” his lips end in a curled smile, the first one I’ve seen him share since we stepped foot in this place. 

“Seems ‘ve missed a good joke,” a voice comments from nowhere. Our heads both whip to the side, and before I’ve seen him, I notice it. The way Harry’s lips have fallen into a line, and the way his adam’s apple bobs nervously in his throat. 

“You didn’t miss anything good, don’t worry,” I assure him, standing to my feet with Harry.

“Please, sit down, there’s no need fer that,” Harry’s dad says with a wave of his hand, and we oblige. Undoing the button on his coal gray suit, he falls into the chair opposite. “‘m sorry if I kept you waitin’, traffic was a bitch.” 

“Oh, it’s fine. We haven’t been waiting long. How was your day, Mr. Styles?” I find myself saying, instantly hearing a titter from Harry, followed by his father. God, these similarities are mad. First, the comment about traffic, and now, this. 

“‘s Dez, none o’ that Mr. Styles rubbish.” 

“Rememba when ya used t’ call me that?” my boyfriend chirps, cocking his head to the side in a funny way. Laughs pass between us and our inside joke. 

Looking back to Harry’s dad, a question sits in his eyes, ones similar to Harry’s. I’d met him twice now, but it still amazes me how he looks like his dad. It’s like meeting his mum all over again, seeing him in them. 

“I was his assistant before, at the firm,” my explanation comes, and so does the realization on his face. 

“Oh, yes. I think we met befo’ then. That was what, four years ago? ‘m sorry we had t’ meet that way.” 

“It’s okay,” it’s automatic, and so is the next few minutes sitting in silence staring at our menus. It’s as if I can hear all of the conversations around me but ours in this restaurant decorated with white tablecloths. 

I’m not sure why Harry had to pick such a fancy place until I asked him, and he said it was his Dad’s idea entirely. I’d never been here, but Harry had, hence why he was pointing at my menu with whispers. Sometimes, it was hard to not stare at him while he talked, memorizing the way his lips moved when he spoke. The way his entire face could change with a flick of his eyebrows, or a lift of his lips. Tonight, I resisted, knowing how much was riding on this dinner with his dad. How important it was to him that it went well, and I understood, or as much as I could having a parent I didn’t talk to. 

“This ‘s good, and Myles likes their steaks. Maybe you’d like this one with tha pasta,” he mumbles, his long pointer finger dragging over the off white, paper menu. I could tell that he was nervous, from the way he bit at his lip to how his thumb hadn’t stopped rubbing the inside of my thigh under the table. 

Now, I wasn’t sure who to watch, my boyfriend beside me who kneaded at his bottom lip, or his father who did the same thing with his. It amused me, how I kept being surprised at the mannerisms between the two. First, there was the deep voice and the accent. Then, there were the almond green eyes, the towering height, and the nose. It was uncanny, the resemblance, even more so than his mum, I thought. What physical features he didn’t have of his mum’s, he made up for with his kindness and warmth of her’s. He got the sense of style from her, I think silently when I see the plain white shirt underneath his father’s blazer, and the denims I saw when he walked in. 

Our meals had been ordered and waters had been poured. Soon, the questions began, too. 

“So, you met workin’ at Harry’s firm?” his dad asks, scratching at his head. One lone ring sat on a pinkie, and his hair couldn’t be further from Harry’s. I couldn’t figure out where he’d gotten the curls from, seeing his mother’s wavy black hair, and his dad’s cropped gray head of hair. 

“Yeah, back in . . 2021. I was his personal assistant for a little bit that fall before I left for a different job.” 

“Ah, I see,” he muses aloud, awkwardness ensuing. Again. It wasn’t just him. The both of us had found it hard to retell this part of our story to anybody. Anybody who didn’t know us, or who wasn’t there. “And you came back, I see. ‘ve heard yer a rather great lawyer already.” His words bring me to turn to my boyfriend who does a poor job of hiding a smile whilst drinking water. 

“Yeah, I really like it there. I’ve hopped around working with some of the lawyers there, but I think I might have a favorite.” 

“I don’t blame you. Myles has always been my favorite too,” Dez chuckles, and like his son, it’s contagious. Harry yelps with a small protest, clucking his tongue at the both of us. “So, what are yer plans at tha firm?”An answer escapes me, and I turn my head, looking for it in the man next to me. 

He mouths a ‘what’ at me before messing with his hair, pressing his palm against my thigh in encouragement. If you could even call it that. 

“Well, right now I’m completing my mentorship, which will probably last another year and a half. So, I’m halfway. After that, I’m not sure. I’m just trying to get over this hill right now.” 

He nods with my words, taking a long drink from his pint he’d ordered. It still can remind me of the look on Harry’s face when he debated whether or not to mention that he doesn’t drink anymore, despite his father’s harmless badgering to order him a whiskey on the rocks. His old favorite. 

“Maybe you won’t be working by then, who knows. Anne and I had begun to have kids when we were yer age, or ‘s that not somethin’ you’d both want?” it’d be an understatement to say that his question had caught us off guard. I could tell by the way Harry’s thumb had stopped drawing circles over the fabric over my dress. 

“We’re not that far yet, Dad, but . . ,” when he trails off, I meet Harry’s eyes, catching the glimmer in them at the mention of a family. “We think we’d like t’ have a few or more, sometime soon. Afta a wedding, o’course.” 

“So ‘ve heard, that’s rather excitin.’ I know you’ve always wanted this, t’ find a great girl and t’ become a dad, Hare. Seems yer halfway there,” his dad comments. As if from the sidelines, I watch on as Harry nods at his father with the smallest of smiles on his face, making me wonder what he could be thinking. “You’d make a great one, you’ve turned into a great young man, son.” 

“Thank you,” it was the smallest of many I’d heard from him, but the glint in his eyes spoke volumes to what he’d really wanted to say. Even if I couldn’t remember how much his dad had been around when he was growing up, it seemed to mean a lot to Harry for him to say that. “I uh, have this one t’ thank that fer. . quite a lot, actually.” 

Blinking hard, I suddenly feel their eyes on me. I blame the warmth in my cheeks from that in Harry’s eyes, the sunshine overflowing from them. “He’s come a long way. I’m very proud of him too,” emotion weighs down my words, more of it speaking through my fingers when I lay my hand on top of his that hasn’t left my thigh since we sat down. 

He wasn’t my son, so I couldn’t relate there. Regardless, it felt like I knew how his parents felt when they looked at Harry, because pride poured out of me just at the sight of him. I was sure that if I said another word about it the feeling would come out of me in tears. 

/

“What do you think?”

“‘Bout what, love?” his voice sounds far away, despite it being just across the middle console from me. 

“Dinner tonight.”

“Oh,” Harry sighs, realization tying his voice together. A further response doesn’t come, but his attention is on the cars behind him, where he looks while trying to merge onto the highway. “It was good, I thought. How’s ‘bout you?”

“I agree, it was good. I no longer see your dad as this big, scary bloke,” I joke, knowing I should regret it when it doesn’t pull a smile from his lips. I hardly know him, but he may still be that to Harry, because only he knows the real him. Just like with my mum. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking-.” 

“Oh, yer fine, Becks,” he insists, but there’s something else. I can’t quite grasp it, despite the effort I put in to try and open his book again. 

“Alright?”

“Ya, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Don’t lie to me, Harry Styles,” I insist softly, dancing my hand across until it arrives on his warm thigh. He doesn’t speak but instead, he sighs, and laces a hand with mine. 

“Jus’ nervous . . still.” 

“Why? It went really well tonight, Harry, without a hitch,” I tell him, unable to look away and to the window. I had lived here for years now, and so the sights hadn’t amazed me for a while now. 

“I know, ‘s mad, but . . I don’t wanna get my hopes up, Becks. He’s done this befo’, charmed his way back into me life. ‘s all normal at first and almost too good t’ be true, until he turns like a light switch, explodin’ on me ‘bout somethin’ or bein’ a dick again.” 

“It’s like they become another person, right?” my experiences flood my words, and all he does is nod, staring ahead at the road. Despite his silence, the tips of his calloused fingers drag up and down the spanse of my fingers. “I know how you’re feeling, and it’s okay to feel that way, Harry. I understand that you don’t want to get excited and have it all just be for nothing if he turns on you again.” Like they so often are, his nods seem silent but they’re brimming with unsaid words. Fearful ones, and worried, as well. More than he lets on. “I wish I could tell you that it’ll be okay, Harry, but I hope it’ll be.”

“Thanks, Becks. Me too,” his voice is soft, but the way his fingers press against mine is loud. He can’t help the way the worry shouts from the lines and frown on his face, either. I just hope that I can do a good job of hiding mine. 

/

Voices drown amongst each other in my ears, one after the other. An off white mug is set down in front of me, a painting of a cat donning the front. 

“Sugar? Cream?”

“Yes, please,” my answer comes, and a dish with a spoon graces the table next. 

“How’ve you been, love?”

“Good, and you, Claire?” he looks like her, or so I think he does. When her eyes lift to him standing across the room, I see it in the glimmer in her eye. 

“I’ve been doing well, thanks for asking. Harry seems happy.” 

“Yeah, you could say that,” it comes out in a laugh, and when she shares it with me, I see the hint of a dimple in her cheek. Happiness may leak from ours, but the boisterous one of Harry’s from across the kitchen trumps ours completely. “I love his laugh.” 

“Me too, it’s always been so happy, ever since he was a baby.” 

When I look, nostalgia sits in the lines around her mouth and eyes, memories from the last eighty years of her life held in her eyes. A content smile doesn’t budge from her lips as she brings the mug to them again. I’d never tell anybody this, but I think Harry’s gran was my favorite of his family, despite there being so many good ones to choose from. It was the eyes and the smile, I think, where I saw him in her. Glancing between them, the happiness was contagious, just like his always is. 

“What?” he chuckles when he looks to us, talking with his hands, like always. Shaking my head at him, I bring the steaming mug back to my lips, watching as he returns to talking with an old mate of his, Tommy. Every few moments, his eyes squeeze shut with another bout of laughter. 

“I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time.” Turning my head, I catch her cerulean blue eyes sitting on me with a knowing smile. The similarities are absent otherwise, noting her ivory colored hair cropped short around her ears. “Thank you, Becky.” 

“I don’t know what you’re thanking me for,” the pieces haven’t clicked together for me yet, sitting unsolved in the expression of confusion I give her over my mug of tea. 

“I think you know.” 

Her laugh is short and cute, as is the wink she gives me. Okay, maybe he is more like her than I thought. I’d only met her a few times now, starting with the first time Harry brought me home to Cheshire where he grew up, last Christmas at his Mum’s, and now for a weekend home. 

“His other girlfriends, they didn’t make him happy like this. Not even close,” her explanation comes with a shake of her head, eyes on her grandson. I follow them, unable to stop looking at Harry and the sunshine that radiates from him, and his happy lips. 

He was a sight for sore eyes, that’s for sure. It was always suits and ties for him at work, but at home it was a different story. Today, it was a blue cap turned backwards over his gorgeous curls, and a black and blue flannel with dark skinny jeans. “I’d never seen him more upset than around the time my husband died, that year before it seemed horrible for him too. It all had come to a head for him, it broke my heart. I wanted to ask what was going on, but wasn’t sure how to until the two of you told me how you had met the last time he brought you here, and it all made sense. The way he had lost you, and then found you again. I wouldn’t know where he’d be if it weren’t for you, Becky, and I hear a wedding is on the horizon.” 

“I’m hoping so,” I muse aloud, feeling the familiar surface of the promise ring on my ring finger, remembering when we had explained it each time a question arose. “I’m not sure where I’d be without him either, he’s my anchor.” 

“I don’t think you’ll have to hope, honey. He’s really serious about you,

he’s told me himself.” 

“H-He has?” I don’t know why I was surprised, but I still was. The fluttering inside of my chest still came when I watched him remove his hat, and comb a hand through his matted curls. I wonder if it’d ever stop, but I was rather sure it never would. 

“Can I hope to be a great grandmother again soon?” 

“Excuse me?” I chuckle, having to set down my mug whilst choking on my tea. 

“Sorry, love. I didn’t mean to surprise you there,” she apologizes. With red cheeks, I wipe a napkin across my face, feeling Harry’s eyes on me. 

“Gran, don’t rough her up too much over there,” he quips from his Mum’s kitchen island, placing a slice of cheese on a cracker that he feeds between his lips. Somehow, he looked like how I thought he would as a teenager or a uni student with that outfit. It was cute as hell, and only made me wish more that I had known him then, because there could never be enough time with him. 

“I’m not,” Claire laughs, patting my back. At last, I’ve recovered and take a long pull from my mug. 

“One day soon I hope, but don’t hold your breath too much,” I decide to say, my eyes unmoving from Harry’s figure as they come out. Standing there, he talks animatedly with his friend Tommy who sits across from him on a stool, his mum doing laundry in the other room. Harper and Ollie were due to arrive soon for a family lunch, and I wasn’t sure of how it could get better, except for a little baby on Harry’s hip one day. 

One step at a time, Becky, but when have we ever done things in order? 

/

The smile on her face warms me from the inside, and it only grows as a laugh erupts on her lips, shared between her and my gran. Two of my favorite people in the entire bloody world. I’m rather sure that I could listen to that sound for my entire life, and then some. 

“So, when ya plannin’ to do it, H?” 

“Soon.” 

Just a few more weeks, Becks, and then, forever. 

[dlamp-dictator]

I’ll keep an eye on this anime. If anything, it definitely looks pretty, the fight scenes have been [done] well so far, and seeing Melida be cute in full color is great. If I just get a decent action series out of this anime, I’ll be happy.

                                                                            -Allen X, October 22 2019

 Well folks, Assassins Pride wrapped up last week and I can safely say I got what I wanted. In the end, I think this was a pretty fun and passable anime to watch weekly. Decent action, decent plot, and a decently written story. Nothing was too offensive or annoying save for one or two moments in the middle, and as much as I felt the show stumbled compared to the manga and possibly the light novel I have hope that this might just get an official translate and... well, you know, do the pacing thing better.

But since I had a habit of covering this thing after every arc I figured I’d give the show some closing thoughts and an overall opinion of the thing at the end. I hope I don’t spend a 1000+ words on this, but... well... I can get pretty wordy when I get a groove, so we’ll see. 

But anyway, let’s start with...

The Good

The Visuals

Let’s not mince words folks, this anime is pretty. It might be because I’m a sucker for night aesthetic, but the one disadvantage of the black-and-white manga is that were really never got to see just how dark the world of Flandor really was. To quote myself again:

(This is a) world trapped in perpetual night with warriors of light being the only thing keeping away further darkness, along with the last bastion of humanity being a literal chandelier city in case you missed the symbolism

And nothing makes you really feel that more than that first scene of Kufa walking through the quiet streets on his way to the Angel estate, seeing not only how dark the world is from the night sky above, but also how artificial the light within it really is. The dark aesthetic really helps a lot of the other characters pop out a lot more in terms of the actual color. Mana is literally a glowing, flaming aura that lights the darkness like a candle. The two main girls in this series are a bright blonde and white-haired girl that stand out against the black night sky like the sun and stars. 

Again, symbolism.

The list goes on, but you get the idea.

The Action

Not to say this is Trigger or Madhouse or Perriot, but it is pretty nice that we get a decent action scene every arc. Something I definitely appreciate is that they show contrast between Melida’s kind nature and friendly attitude with her brutal and dirty fighting style. 

See, Melida is a kind and gentle girl that would rather not use violence save for fighting demons, but if she has to fight she’ll use every dirty trick in the book. She’ll throw sand, she feint attacks, she go into brawling when close enough, she fake being injured to make her opponent let their guard down. It’s a nice little story detail that shows you this noblewoman was, in fact, trained by a ruthless assassin that taught her to actual fight for survival instead of like a nobleman. Her taking down stronger students by doing all but outright cheat is almost hilarious to watch sometimes.

The Overall Narrative

For as fast as the pacing was I feel like I got a good idea of Melida’s story and the trials she has to endure as the “Incompetent Talented Girl”. This story focused on Melida more than Kufa, which is something I’m very thankful for. It’s always tempting to switch over the OP male MC to overpower his way through things, but to my pleasant surprise this only happened in one arc, and it was an arc that had some justification for it, though I really didn’t care it myself. Save for the third arc everything was to show Melida’s growth from a shy and bullied girl to a competent swordswoman that can even hold her own against the other heirs of the three noble houses. 

But that’s enough of the good, so now we have to talk about... 

The Bad

The Pacing

There’s no getting around this. Even if I didn’t already read bits of the manga online ahead of time the pacing for this show is still insanely fast. Even taking out the fact that this is an adapted story we’re never given enough time to absorb certain scenes. And the worse is that a lot of the arcs have a focus on intrigue and mystery. Luna Lumiere Selection Tournament Arc had two major mysteries: who was the one that changed the plaque and who is Black Madia masquerading as? They especially took care to make Mule seem like a very suspicious party only to reveal it was a third party in the very same episode. The mystery of Black Madia was done better, though by necessity as she couldn’t reveal herself until the very last moment of the arc. This was fine in the anime, but it could had used an extra episode or two of build-up between scenes. The arc at Rosetti’s hometown was a huge mystery that had Kufa under believable suspicious, and was actually done pretty well by not revealing the true culprit until the last episode of it, it also helps that Kufa was under suspicion from the first episode of it. The Library Exam Arc was... done alright, but it could had used an extra episode or two to cook and add some more tension between the Angels and the other nobles, but it was done well. 

And that’s the main issue. Every arc could had used one or two extra episodes to really set the scene. Nothing was done poorly in terms of structure and narrative, but everything could had been better had things slowed down. Despite the action this show isn’t a shounen or action genre, it’s a political drama with a combat school setting. 

This might also be just the issue of this being a 12-episode anime adapting a novel. A  novel has the advantage of progressing its plots slowly with the knowledge the reader has the entire book to finish either that arc or at least most of it. If that reader skips around because they’re bored that says more about them than the author. With an anime or television show you don’t have that luxury, you only have a few episodes at best to keep a viewers attention, especially for something like the seasonal anime lineup where you have to keep audience retention every week and your competition is the other 50+ anime out there that might possibly be more interesting. I pity whatever decent anime has to contend with the newest My Hero Academia season along with everything else. 

I understand the need to want to just show off the cool bits to keep audience attention, but it came at the cost of the narrative. Even if this thing still holds together well it could hold together much better if they only focused on the first two arcs of this series instead of trying to shove in four, but alas... 

In any case...

Other Smaller Issues that Bugged Allen

Really, the pacing was the biggest issue in this anime, but I do have my fair share of gripes and nitpicks too. I’ll keep this in list form for the sake of simplicity.

Kufa having access to potions/medicines that can not only kick-start a mana-less person into having it, but one that can also turn half-Lyncrophyes back to humans opens up quite a few plotholes and issues. I’m sure the light novel and manga explain their existence better, probably something to the effect of them being extremely experimental and a deadly risk, but the anime doesn’t explain that and it can take you out of the story if you care about the world-building.

I feel like side characters like Nerva, Mule, and Salacha were suppose to get more screentime, or at least more development, but just didn’t due to the pacing and runtime. You get the basic idea of everyone, but it feels like the show wanted to do more with them, or at least that the source material probably did more with them.

The occasional moments fanservice don’t work too well in this series. It’s nothing to the level of Senran Kagura or Ikkitousen, but when your cast consist of mostly middle school aged girls the most fanservice that should be seen is a beach episode or a sleepover episode. And while this anime did have a sleepover episode it still also took time to put some of this girls in... compromising positions. My general rule of fanservice is that high school age characters doesn’t really count due to the wonky-ness of hormones act and how most media east and west tends to treat high school characters anyway, but middle school kids... yeah no. That’s just my morals, but it’s still a detractor from the anime.

The third arc kind of felt pointless since it tried to focus on Kufa’s relationship with Rosetti. I didn’t really need to know about Kufa’s past, and connecting it to Rosetti just... doesn’t feel right given how he dismissive treated her in the first arc. Making Rose a half-vampire was also pretty pointless to me. It feels like they were trying to give Kufa a harem when this show is mostly focused on Melida, and the most interesting part about his past is a mix of his life in the dark zone of the world and his past as an assassin, not his relationships with his apparent adoptive sister. It just felt... really focused and a waste of time. They could had cut out this arc, gave each other arc an extra episode to build up some things and be none the weaker for it.

The Dub

The nice thing about VRV is that I can see the HiDive dubcast along with the show. I only watched a handful of episodes, but here are my general throughts for those curious. Overall, the dub is fine, but like most HiDive Dubcasts it feels... off. Not bad, but it feels like they needed to be 4 or 6 weeks off the original release instead of 2 or 3 to get the director in the right place. I feel like most of the issues with this dub come from the direction and scripting rather than the actual voice-acting. But just to keep this short.

Kufa sounds too flat. This was a pretty common dubbing issue back in the early 2000s when trying to translate/localize a stoic, serious character. The director is probably trying to make the actor emulate the original Japanese voice acting and Kufa just sounds too flat and bored at times because of it. Most character like this tend to be given a more deadpan and sarcastic edge to them in English to make the have a little more emotion. In Japanese that flat tone is meant imply stoicism, resolve, and masculinity. In English... that’s just sounding flat and bored. Again, most characters like this are usually given a different kind of tone to keep them from sounding bored. For Kufa I’d say a more strict and stern tone of voice would help given he’s an instructor, almost like a even-toned drill sergeant issuing orders. He does sound like that from time to time when actually instructing, but I wish he kept that persona. Though that’s just my take.

Nerva and Rosetti... just don’t hit it for me. I don’t mind the difference in tone, but the script doesn’t lend itself to it. Rosetti’s actor makes her sounds much more like an adult in English, but her actual lines are still childish, which makes her come off as a little... cringe. Same with Nerva, but I’m willing to overlook it since she’s more of a side character anyway. Mule actually sounds pretty good in this regard. Her tone sounds less like a middle schooler and more like a young college woman, but since a lot of her actual lines has an air of condescending smugness it works out, though her actor sounds like she’s reading the script and not acting from it.

The scripting in general seemed to really want to follow the subbed version and it falls flat because of it. When I read the subtitles that take the world, systems, and general wackiness of this subpar anime so seriously it’s fine. But to actually hear it in  a language I understand... it kinda’ shows how lacking the series is. I’m not saying they should had added jokes or anything, but it feels like they could had made the dialogue a bit more casual than it was in the subs so that the lines flowed a little better. HiDive dubs, their dubcasts especially, tend to feel like a product of the early 2000s rather than something current.

Thoughts and Recommendations

Overall I do recommend this series as a decent action show with some nice colors to it and a killer OP and ED, but there's a lot better I could recommend too that does everything this anime does but better. 

So... here are a recommendations I have if Assassins Pride didn’t really click with you as much as you hoped.

A bit of an odd recommendation, but I’ll stick up Goblin Slayer first. This anime is actually a lot like Assassins Pride, being a character-focused story with decent side characters and does a lot of its world-building in the background. However,  it does its arcs far better than Assassins Pride since they aren’t intrigue-based and the cast is solving much simpler problems in the grand scheme of things. It’s also an anime based off a light novel just to add to the similarities, and said anime also has four arcs to it. I will say this is a series that’s not for the faint of heart, and I almost recommend skipping episode 1 if you’re of a weaker constitution if you plan on watching this one.

Next up would be Chivalry of a Failed Knight. It does the combat school aspect of Assassins Pride much better, taking some strides to show that each of its students are, in fact, warriors capable of harming and killing others and going to a school to hone those skills. And if you that Melida was a ruthless fighter Ikki probably takes it a step further. And this is also another light novel adaptation, though the manga did technically finish its updates online if you’re curious. A side recommendation to this one would be Armed Girl's Machiavellism.

My last recommendation will be Katana Maidens. This is another combat school anime that I feel is honestly average, but it’s an anime-original series that has 24 episodes behind it, and quite a few decent action scenes. I recommend this one more to action junkies as I feel the story really starts to drag in the second half, but an overall decent series that does do itself world-building a little better than Assassins Pride, or at least I’m not asking as many questions at the end of it.

And those are my thoughts on Assassins Pride. Now I have a Rambling on video games to work on, so I’ll see you all later.

[foxofsunholt]

Hey Smod any games you recommend that are good? Besides Dragon Age and Mass Effect

I’ve had this sitting in my ask forever because I play too many videmo gamez lek rEAL GAYMER1!!!111 I think I answered a question like this a while back because I do remember talking about Harvest Moon lmfao BUT also idk what you like to play but I love 2 talk video games

 (mostly) PC RPG GAMES LIKE DA/ME BUT NOT REALLY BUT MAYBE???:

The early Bioware games are of similar style too: Baldur’s Gate, Knights of the Old Republic, Jade Empire ..but they are also...very old

The Witcher is good, but I don’t need to tell you that lol. Vampire Masquerade Bloodlines I played a lot of when I was younger and since the super amazing sequel is coming out it might be fun to revisit? Fallout (New Vegas is the best one but I honestly didn’t think 4 was that bad either? ). Pillars of Eternity. Divinity Original Sin (1 & 2).Tyranny. Any 1 of the Elder Scrolls games I feel like I should just mention that. Dragon’s Dogma. I was going to list more but idk what you’re into. Diablo? Torchlight? Monster Hunter? Borderlands? Do you only like action-RPGs? I need deets

And now this is just a list of games I like that have nothing to do with DA or ME but it got very long so it’s under the cut

I’m going to try and avoid the more popular answers (although some of these games are still very popular lol) just because like...I’m sure we’ve all played 1 pokemans and no it’s fun

also don’t @ any of my comparisons it’s just how I think of the games okAY I GET IT

I’m a ho for a lot of the assassin creed games (Black Flag is my favorite but Odyssey is the one I’ve played the most of)

Monster Hunter World is literally what I’m playing as I type this. very therapeutic weirdly 

Into The Breach (if you’ve ever played Advance Wars iit’s like that also...I recommend Advance Wars)

Pocket Card Jockey (it’s a 3DS game i’ve spent HOURS on it’s so good I can’t even tell you)

Most of the games published by Chucklefish are also very good: Stardew Valley, Starbound, War Groove (which i JUST bought...have not played it yet but I’m excited)

The Witness is a puzzle game but it is very calming and I love it thanks

I have ALWAYS been a huge fan of the Persona games (and the SMT games but mainly the Persona ones.) if you like JRPGs then!!!!!

Mirror’s Edge gave me motion sickness the first time (I also think I just had food poisoning then) but I played all of it and i love anyway/ it’s a first person action platforming game? hold on. first-person action-adventure platform video game -- thats what wikipedia says

Celeste is a masocore game (like Cuphead and Super Meat Boy) but more enjoyable and just...very good idk I don’t want these descriptions to get too long

Return of the Obra Dinn I beat in one night which is not me saying it’s short or anything it was just THAT good (although I think it is on the short side but IT WAS VERY GOOD ANYWAY) it reminded me of monkey island which i also super love

Minit : haven’t got around to playing this so really it shouldn’t be on this list but DON’T LOOK AT ME - a peculiar little adventure played sixty seconds at a time.

Florence pl...ease.. it’s on mobile you can get it out on the app store if you wanna know more!

My Child Lebensborn also an app store game so please read more about it if it interests you

Gris (an indie game with good art)

Prey (+ Mooncrash) an atmospheric FPS akin to Dead Space

Resident Evil (the 2 remake is just so good, 4 is a game I play probably once a year) horror game

Tales of Symphonia, Abyss, Vesperia + Berseria (more JRPGS but of the action variety and not turn based)

The Saints Row games are really good idk how there are people who still think GTA is better like wow imagine (+ Sleeping Dogs is also better than GTA I’LL SAY IT)

I have a vendetta against GTA because i wasn’t allowed to play it .it wasnt for my age :( 

Road Not Taken a cute indie game?

Massive Chalice make people have babies

The Sexy Brutale , not sexy in the way I wanted. a very interesting adventure puzzle game

Puzzle Agent ....a puzzle game

Dead Rising fun zombie action game hehe make the man wear children’s clothes 

Cook, Serve, Delicious (I like the first one more) it’s a fun cooking game ???

Grim Fandango, Broken Age, Longest Journey - point & click style adventure games that are great 

Beyond Good & Evil ..listen I talked to someone who hadn’t even heard of the game and that made me sad because it’s really fun and as a kiddo i super loved it

Battle Chef Brigade . cook, fight, sleep

I also really love the Splinter Cell games and my brother and I have a great inside joke that I hope at least one other person gets but “who turn off de lights”

also them new Hitman games be fun yo? wack

I never beat Banner Saga but I think about that art every day

I’m going to stop myself here because this is getting silly but if you ever want any specific game recommendations please let me use my time wasted on games for something please

[queen-peck-neck]

Sweetie, Lets Ride: Chapter 3: Practice.

Hmm I finished Chapter 3 today! Again I do hope you all enjoy! Also so sorry chapter 3 came out so late! i’ve been busy and am currently dealing with some personal stuff. I hope you all understand! ^^;

Chap 1 / Chap 2 / Chap 3 [You’re Here]  / ?

Fic is under read more

Summary: Lady winter and hat kid visit the vampire’s dear brother Seth for help. Is he willing to help his twin practice in such a short amount of time? 

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Lady winter and hat kid find themselves walking along a path within a quiet little town. Not too far from Shady Hallow itself. You see lady winter and hat kid left the studio a few days ago, each practicing their lines for the film. Lady winter was fairly confident that it’ll go well, but hat kid? Not so much. The hatted child got a role she never tried out before. That role being the antagonist. Of course she was excited to try this role out but being the bad guy? Is entirely new to her. 

“Hey...auntie?” Hat kid said trying to get the vampire’s attention. 

“Yes dearie?” Lady winter replied.

“I have two things to ask” the child continued. Lady winter looks at her waiting for her to ask her the questions. 

“One, Do you think i’ll be a good enough villain? And two...when are we going to be at our destination?” 

Lady winter smiles, “Well I think you’ll be a wonderful antagonist dearie, If you need any tips and tricks on how to be a convincing villain, I can always offer a few here and there.” she pauses for a moment before continuing on. “As for if we’ll be at our destination? Take a look up ahead little one.” 

Hat kid smiles then focuses her eyes ahead of her. What she sees appears to be a house, In the same Victorian style the other homes in shady hallow have but a bit bigger. Not as big as the manor but still quite sizable. If hat kid had to guess the home would probably be the second biggest building around the area. The paneling on the home was a light grey color, small vertical, horizontal, or diagonal planks placed on top of the exterior walls, Pillars that seem to be made of marble or made to look like it was. Hat kid then realized it kinda looks like one of the homes she read about once. A house built in the 1860’s or the 1890’s. The only reason why she knows about this is because she borrowed lady winter’s books about the town. She’s happy her curiosity gave her some knowledge about weird looking houses.

Before hat kid knows it she and Lady winter were standing on the porch, Hat kid didn’t notice because she was too busy thinking about the house. Without further ado the vampire lass rings the doorbell. They wait patiently for the door to be answered. Lady winter can hear someone from inside the building, coming closer and closer to the door. Before she knew it the door opens.

There stood a vampire man with long white hair, pale skin, violet eyes, gold piercings, fangs and an outfit that has its own sort of elegance to it. He smiles upon seeing his twin and his little guest. 

“Ah hello there, sorry it took me a bit to answer the door!” he said with a welcoming tone in his voice.

Lady winter smiles and gave him a hug “Hey Seth!! It’s so good to see ye again!” 

“It’s great to see you to sis!” He gives her a hug back then looks at the hatted child 

“And who might you be?” he asks

Hat kid looks up at the vampire man, waving a bit “Hi, I'm Hat kid!” she greeted. Seth takes out his hand to shake hers, it took a moment for her to catch on but she took his hand and shook it. Seth smiled but was quite surprised with the child’s strong grip. He never met anyone let alone a child with such a grip. But that wasn’t important to him right now. 

“Oh where are my manners, come in, come in, I just made some fresh tea!” he said with institancy in his voice. 

Lady winter gestures hat kid to follow her, so she did following the vampire lass inside, Seth following close behind. Hat kid was in awe with how beautiful his home was, the walls have pretty little flower designs on them. The furniture had a nice victorian aesthetic to along with the rest of the home. It makes hat kid wonder if all the people around shady hallow had such an aesthetic. 

“So What brings you two here?” Seth asked.

“Well...I kinda need help with something.” Lady winter responded, hat kid decided to sit on one of the chairs and listens to the two vamps speak. 

Seth raised his brow a bit, “What do you need help with?”

“I’m so sorry to ask but...since you know how to play the violin, I was wonderin’ if you could teach me a thing or two?” she asks.

Seth only nodded “Sure why not? But may I ask why you want to learn the violin?” 

“Oh! I kinda need it for the upcoming movie i’m acting in!”

This took seth by surprise. He knew his twin acted in some of the conductor’s films but he never knew the conductor to make films involving instruments. Well from the movies he’s seen that’s what he bases his assumptions off of. 

“Hmm conductor is making musicals now?” Seth asked yet again but worries that he is annoying his twin with all these questions. 

Lady winter only shook her head, “Not quite? My husband is working with dj grooves for this collab film. It’s a sorta event the annual bird movie awards is having.” she explained.

“Well that makes sense.” he said, understanding the little explanation she had. “Give me a moment” he added as he leaves the room to go get something. Lady winter walks over to the couch and sits down. Waiting for her twin to return. 

She couldn’t help but notice how nicely everything was set up in Seth's home. 

While hat kid and Lady winter for seth to return he is busy looking for his trusty Violin, He always been good at making such wondrous melodies with this little instrument. He often played it whenever he was feeling stressed out. Ah well that’s not important right now, is it? He had a task at hand which is finding that dang violin, it’s got to be somewhere right? Although seth has some more patience then his twin he is starting to get a little frustrated. 

He sighs “Oh where is that dang violin? I know I put it in here..``Seth muttered to himself ask he was moving some boxes and various other items around. He wasn’t really paying attention to where he was placing everything, which is unfortunate for him because 

BAM!!

Everything came toppling down, hitting the poor vampire lad in the head. Seth lets out a groan, rubbing his head where everything hit him. Then he looks down at his lap. 

“OH!! There it is!” he exclaimed, picking up the old violin case while getting up. The lad looks at the little mess he accidently created but only shrugs, he can deal with that mess later. So he starts to head back to where hat kid and his twin sister are waiting for him. 

Lady winter was of course a little worried, she heard the crash that happened in the other room, perhaps she should check up on him. The vampire lass was getting up only to hear hat kid giggle

“OH hey he’s back!!!” hat kid cheered. 

“Yeah I’m back” seth chuckled. 

Lady winter looks over at her twin and smiles. 

“Hey was everything alright over there? I heard a loud crash and uhh..was going to check up on you.” 

Seth looked a little embarrassed and places a hand on the back of his head.

“Well...you see I kinda...created a mini avalanche in the closet..BUT i’m fine though, i’ll clean it up later” he chuckled nervously. 

Lady winter only shook her head “Pfft clumsy eh sethy?!” she teased. 

“HEY!! I mean, yeah maybe but shoosh!!”

Winter only laughed a bit, oh nothing like teasing your sibling, she didn’t mean any harm by it, just playful teasing, These two been doing that to each other since they were kids. 

Seth cleared his throat, “Anyway, I got the Violin.”

His twins ears perk up a bit, she was happy he got it, although she is a bit curious. Actually curious isn’t the right word, she’s more shocked that he still had it after all those years.

Seth walks over to the little table he had set up in the room, placing the violin case down. 

Click

That very sound echoed the room, Seth opens the case and takes out his Violin. It was made out of Ebony wood with beautiful designs etched into the very wood itself. It looked brand new despite being quite old and in a case for goodness knows how long. 

“Wow...it’s still so pretty.” lady winter said in awe.

“Yeah, Anyway you need to learn how to play the violin right? For the movie?” Seth asked. 

Lady winter only nodded in response. Seth understood, picking up the bow that came along with the instrument. 

“Well first I'm going to show you how to hold it, then i’ll let you try and play it is that ok?” Seth spoke looking at his twin. All the while hat kid just sat there watching, curious about what is going to happen. 

“Yeah that’s fine.” Lady winter replied. 

Seth fixes his posture, making sure he is standing up straight, his feet apart a bit, he then places the violin on the left of his collar bone, placing his jaw on the chin rest. 

“You see you must keep a good posture when you play the violin, it makes it easier and fairly comfortable while playing!” he explained. His twin was watching carefully all the while making mental notes to herself. 

Seth walks over to Winter, handing her the violin 

“Now you try!” he said. 

Lady winter nods, taking the violin. She’s not really used to playing string based instruments, The lass is used to instruments such as the piano or the organ. Winter is nervous, What if she messes up?! What if she won’t be able to learn enough in time for the film!? What if- no...she pushes those worries aside and takes a deep breath, then exhales. She’s got this. 

The vampire lass always had good posture so that wasn’t much of an issue for her. Like her twin showed her, she places the violin on the left of her collarbone then places her jaw on the chin rest.

“Like this?” she asks.

“PERFECT!! But uhh hmm let me fix your arm posture a bit.`` Seth said moving her arm a bit 

“You see, ther elbow should be under the center of the violin, while your wrist is gently rounded!” he added on while explaining. 

“So I see.” his twin spoke softly.

“Now try playing it, you’ll need the bow and you gently press it along the strings” he explained while gesturing to the bow. 

The vampire lass nodded, moving the bow and places it along the strings. She’s a little hesitant and takes another deep breath, 

Here we go

3…...2…….1 

Lady winter starts playing the instrument, but it let out a loud  noise which could be compared to the sound of nails on a chalkboard, it sounded awful, it caused her and seth to jump while hat kid covered her little ears. 

“Oh uh...s-sorry” lady winter apologized. 

Seth only laughed “hey hey, you got nothing to be sorry for, We got plenty of time to practice. It’s not easy playing the violin.”

He was right, trying new things is never easy. 

“Umm you sure?” she asks

“Well yeah i’m sure, listen sis, i’m here to help, I didn’t do well when I first started out.” Seth reassured her and places a hand on his twins shoulder. 

“Now how about we practice some more?” 

Hat kid pulls out some ear plugs from her hat and puts them in, ready to withstand the violin noises. 

“Sure!” lady winter said with a smile. She’s ready to practice more and more with the kiddo and her twin. Perhaps they got a few weeks so perhaps by then she’ll be at least somewhat decent at playing the violin. 

Again throughout the evening terrible violin noises can be heard from seth's house. Unfortunately this is going to last for a time but hey, it’ll be worth it for the film coming up soon. 

[grimelords]

My May playlist is finished and it’s got everything from Rachmaninoff to Peaches across 3 and a half hours, I hope you enjoy it.

If The Car Beside You Moves Ahead - James Blake: James Blake has got such a big brain and this song is unbelievable. He has such a way of taking things that could be gimmicky like this vocal stuttering, or looping vocals and making them totally heartrending.

The Boxer - The Chemical Brothers: The central melody of this song is constantly stuck in my head and complete proof that you can make an incredibly catchy hook with just three notes if you need to.

known(1) - Autechre: I think this is maybe Autechre's most straightforward song but it still sounds like a harpsichord concerto getting sucked into a black hole. The way the violin-ish part swoops around throughout the whole thing, disintegrating and reforming before your eyes is hypnotising.

Sundown - Boards Of Canada: Guess who started crying this month listening to an ambient Boards Of Canada song thinking about how the end of soil is within my lifetime and we have destroyed our only home the earth!!

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys: With their new album coming out I went back and listened to AM for the first time in a while and it's still really astonishing what they pulled off. This and R U Mine? completely blew me away when they came out. Having the audacity to completely change your sound and style and have it work perfectly is amazing, and then disappearing for five years and trying to do it again? Bold.

FML - Kanye West: I was listening to this a lot when Kanye was off his lexapro and fucking his whole life up. And now there's a sequel to this on the new album where Kim's begging him not to fuck the money up, which I think is a very good kind of storytelling.

United P92 - Venetian Snares & Daniel Lanois: I love the idea of ambient Venetian Snares and this is the song on the album where their two ideas meet in the middle the best I think. Also the way this builds and builds into total chaos I always forget that it's coming and get surprised when it says 'the machine can cum', what a funny song.

Turnstile Blues - Autolux: I saw Autolux's drummer in Jack White's band when he played on SNL a couple of weeks ago and suddenly remembered how perfect this song is. A true testament to the power of a simple groove that sounds like it was recorded in a concrete garage.

Young For Eternity - The Subways: Yet another great song about being a vampire and all the benefits that vampirism can bring to your life! Thank god for Dracula! He sucked the shit out of me, now I can leave my work for nights and leave my days for sleeping! Young for eternity!

Oh Yeah - The Subways: I bought a 7" of this song a couple of weeks ago in honour of the time it inexplicably caused me a mental breakdown and made me sprint out of my house to drive around town crying and listening to it on repeat for some hours about 5 years ago. Not sure what that was about!

The Blues - Defeater: As far as songs that go for less than a minute go, I really can't fault this one. Pure power, it does absolutely everything it sets out to do and still manages to get two choruses in under the wire.

Bombay - El Guincho: I saw Holy Mountain this month in a double feature with El Topo, and although El Topo kind of sucked I loved The Holy Mountain a lot. There's a part where there's been a battle and a whole lot of protesters are dying on the ground bleeding, except you can see that the blood and guts are obviously special effects, you can see the hose that she's using to pretend to cry and the guts are green balloons and things like that. Hold on I found it on youtube anyway I know I've seen it before and I thought it was in the video to this song or another one of CANADA's videos but I watched them all and can't find it! If anyone can tell me the music video I'm thinking of, thankyou. This song is also, of course, good.

Swim Good - Frank Ocean: Honestly has there ever been a better song about wearing a cool suit and driving your car into the ocean?? Never. This is perhaps the best sing along song ever because you've got to do your smoothest voice ever until he does his little emo yells of 'I'm goin out!' near the end.

Batphone - Arctic Monkeys: I think this is my favourite song off the new Arctive Monkeys, it's the most '3am slamming away at a club piano' type vibe of them all, but most of all I love the little spiralling into space guitar noise that keeps happening whenever he finishes a line.

An Open Letter To NYC - Beastie Boys: I'm almost always thinking about the time Beastie Boys made a very serious song about how good New York is after 9/11 and they said 'dear New York I know a lot has changed, we're two towers down but we're still in the game'.

Black Car - Beach House: I can't get enough of the new Beach House album, and this song in particular. It's some of my favourite lyrics of theirs ever, a good song for when you're trapped in a dark labyrinth of your own creation.

Midnight Radio 1 - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Got quite heavily into Bohren & Der Club Of Gore again this month. This is from the album before they got rid of their guitarist and replaced him with a saxophonist, which pretty dramatically changed their sound from 'extremely brooding night music' to 'film noir soundtrack', which is still very good but really not the same. Anyway this song goes for 20 minutes and it feels illegal to listen to it any time before 2am.

House In LA - Jungle: I am so excited that Jungle are finally back and with such an amazing song too. I love how spacious this is, it feels very different to their first - a lot more grown up and I really can't wait for the album.

Lemonworld - The National: Someone had a tweet a while ago that was like 'the guy from the national sounds like he's been going through a divorce for ten years now' which is very true, but this song feels like it's from happier times when he went to see his sister in law and had an morosely horny time. This song feels like the entire experience of reading a literary novel condensed into 4 minutes: a depressed older man in New York having a sort of backwards, confusing sexual thought. This is a song I regularly listen to on repeat and sing along to, it's a very specific feeling and I think "it'll take a better war to kill a college man like me" is one of the best lines he's ever written.

Rigamortis - Zomby: I put off listening to the new Zomby album for so long because his last one was just so boring but he's completely redeemed himself on this, it's really something. It feels like one long piece, which is amazing when any sort of thematic coherence is a rarity for Zomby albums. There's a lot of recurring sounds and motifs, and almost zero drums in the traditional sense. It feels like a really mature reflection on grime that he's been building up to for years.

Indoors - Burial: Whereas this song sounds like you're waiting outside a club in hell.

Segeln Ohne Wind - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Another Bohren song but from much, much later. I love the way the brass sounds in this when it finally comes in, it's so rich and overpowering.

Isle Of The Dead - Segei Rachmaninoff: Wikipedia says "The piece was inspired by a black and white reproduction of Arnold Böcklin's painting, Isle of the Dead, which Rachmaninoff saw in Paris in 1907. Rachmaninoff was disappointed by the original painting when he later saw it, saying, "If I had seen first the original, I, probably, would have not written my Isle of the Dead. I like it in black and white." and it also says "Prints were very popular in central Europe in the early 20th century—Vladimir Nabokov observed in his novel Despair that they could be "found in every Berlin home". Folks what is going on with this spooky painting.

Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction: For a long time this was the emergency dead air song on Triple J, which is an inspired choice in my opinion because there'd be ten seconds of eerie silence because something's gone wrong at the station and then suddenly two huge loud chords! and dogs barking! A BEEN CAUGHT STEEL IN! ONCE!

Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel: I was sitting on the toilet when I saw a news article that said Peter Gabriel has finally made his music available on Spotify and I said 'yessssssss' loudly myself and then played Sledgehammer. Honorable mention to the best ever sample of this song in Contemporary Man by Action Bronson, which is unfortunately still unavailable on Spotify.

Reaching The Gulf - Dylan Carlson: I saw a review of this album saying Dylan Carlson is the only choice for soundtrack if they ver make a movie of Blood Meridian and they're completely right. I'm also so glad that he collaborated with Emma Ruth Rundle on this, it feels like the closest I'll get to bonus tracks to her Electric Guitar One album.

T-1000 - Swarms: I have no idea where or why I first heard this album but it's been in my rotation for a long time. It's in the general canon of post-Burial dubstep before dubstep got americanized and it's just very nice. When the vocals finally come in on this it's a very emotional moment for me.

Casino Trem - Tyondai Braxton: It's really surprising listening to Tyondai Braxton's work after Battles because he has such a distinct melodic style it's shocking to realise how much he brought to that first album. After listening to a lot of his solo stuff it becomes so recognisable it almost feels like you can go back through Mirroroed and pick out every single guitar line of his making. Anyway this song is great. Starts out sounding like what it feels like to be trapped in a pokie and ends up like you're trapped in a databent Banjo Kazooie cartridge.

Kick It - Peaches & Iggy Pop: The first time I ever heard this song, and the first time I ever heard of Peaches or Iggy Pop was on the soundtrack to Midnight Club 3 so I didn't really know what the fuck was going on. I still don't really. I love that this is supposed to be like a dangerous sexy song but the whole time Iggy Pop is just rebuffing her advances and bullying her. Then she's like 'go to berlin' and then the song ends. Still not sure what this one's about still!

If You Know You Know - Pusha T: GOD this song is good, I've been listening to it on repeat. What I love about Pusha T is where a lot of other rappers talk sort of frivolously about drug dealing and everything, he often feels like he's putting his hand on your shoulder and looking you straight in the eyes saying 'I am not fucking around. If you need drugs of any calibre or kind I can get them for you in massive quantities.' The impish way he's saying 'if you know you know', absolutely kills me, like he's a cartoon man winking at me while hiding drugs inside a tennis ball.

Hacker - Death Grips: I think I put this on my playlist last month but I'm still on it so. My new favourite part of this song is when he says "The table's flipped now we got all the coconuts bitch / Burmese babies under each arm / Screaming beautiful songs".

Cavity - Hundred Waters: Hundred Waters feel like a really underrated band to me, I've been listening to their last two album a lot this month and they're just stunning. The long build up towards the end before the two note melody comes back and kills me? What a moment.

Music For The Long Emergency - Polica: I didn't love this album when it came out but I've been listening to it more and more and it's really growing on me. I think I put this song on a playlist a month or two ago so I won't write more but let me say this: Polica rules.

On The Grid - Lime: tfw you turn the knob and you do a good job and you wind up on the grid :/

Elephants - Them Crooked Vultures: I feel like Them Crooked Vultures gets forgotten when people talk about Queens Of The Stone Age albums. People bring up Desert Sessions and Kyuss but somehow forget that this giant album happened. Anyway this is far and away the best song on it because it just keeps on giving and giving. It's just a huge jam about riding an elephant and having cool hair(?).

Particle - Hundred Waters: This song feels like it could be the EDM hit of the summer if it was structured slightly differently, but instead it's the biggest brain pop song I've heard in a long time. I love how much power the bass has in this, it really feels impactful when it comes and goes. The vocal performance is obviously incredible as always but I really love the distorted vocal line that sort of tears itself apart now and then, against how clean everything else in this song sounds it really makes it.

Me Or Us - Young Thug: Thinking hard about when Young Thug sampled First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes and made it into a really really good song.

Because I Love You - Montaigne: God this song is good. All the time the lyric 'I ate a salad today, I ate one yesterday too' pops into my head and makes me laugh. She tweeted about this song a couple of days ago and it really made me laugh: "My ex-boyfriend & I once watched BBC Sherlock & during the ep he paused & basically soliloquised about how he’s a tortured genius just like Sherlock & I’m his Watson in as condescending a way as you’re probably imagining then poured a shot of whiskey & now you know the story"​

listen here

[briteboy]

(circumstantial name by @earnoodle)

IT’S FINALLY TIME FOR THE POST YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (or maybe just that one anon)

there’s a LOT in here, newer questions are generally first so if you asked something a while ago and you’re only interested in that, scroll towards the bottom. also doing wcifs separately (errr i’m gonna try my hardest to ok don’t crucify me)

this mass anons post includes topics ranging from Very Sweet Things Said To Me That I Don’t Deserve, nitpicking stranger things, crying over ramona, lou theories, Cillian Is A Fucking Creep theories (true), and completely unhelpful reshade advice

let’s f0cking do this

You're right, apart from carrying his stupid brain, Santi's head didn't do anything to any of us. I apologize for anon.

I'm pretty sure I said that already but I love Rooney and Santi's relationship so much I literally have no words for it

ME TOO LIKE IT’S JUST SO PURE TWO NOT-KIDS SCARED OF THE ADULT WORLD TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT WITH THEIR WEIRD BRAINS TOGETHER ;__; i love them

YO i didnt know u were a demigirl!! im a demiboy nb Buddies

hell fuckin yeah dude!! we are starting a demi club

Ok but like I really want werewolves. Like I know it sounds stupid but we have vampire and while yes I love my bat babes, I want a giant pupper friend. I have story written out and plans for a cabin to build. Now I’m waiting for EA to give me my big hairy babes.

DUDE i want more supernatural stuff too, mostly witches like I NEED MY WITCHES AGAIN!!! ts3 witches were so good. i didn’t like ts3 werewolves much but i feel like they’d be super cool in ts4, knowing how the vampires came out. i NEED it

hihi! i've been very quietly (??) following your blog for some time now and i just fawn over your characters way too much ?? anywho, i've been wanting to start my own little simblr story but ,, i'm not entirely sure where to even start? i have so many stories that i'd love to get out there, and i have the means.. butt, how did you go about starting out?? so sorry this is so long but i look up to you a whole ton!!! ty ily! :-)

i’m the (??) lmao that’s me always but ahdhghdfkshg thank you so much!!!!! i’m so glad you love them, it means the world to me ;-; and listen, that was me, i had no idea how i was going to do it because i’d only seen ts3 stories up to that point and i thought there was like a set Way to tell stories but i had no idea what i was doing so i was like y’know what...i’m just gonna do it how i feel comfortable doing it and i’m gonna figure it out as i go along. so honestly try to roughly plan out what your stor(ies) will entail and if you get stuck on planning and can’t figure it out, just jump right into it, try to make a few scenes or get the ball rolling somehow, even if it’s just random posts (i mean that’s all my blog was until i decided to commit to santi’s story.) it’s always gonna feel weird and awkward at first, but you’ll get comfortable the more you do it and it’ll figure itself out, trust me!

I read through most of your story posts the other day and now I’m rereading it again just to torture myself some more (and maybe catch up on some posts I may have missed). I honestly don’t think I’ve come across a sims story that’s so beautifully written & includes such evocative pictures as yours. I’m really at a loss for words, it’s all so stunning. & after a nearly two-month long creative block, it’s planted the smallest seed of inspiration in the back of my mind, so thank you for your art.

AHHHH AHSDHKGKDSJG WHAT!!!!! it’s always crazy hearing that 1) people actually care about my stuff, and 2) that it inspires them. like i really cannot believe that, stilL!! thank you so so much, i’m so happy you enjoyed it (as torturous as it was, lmao) it seriously warms my heart that you’re getting your groove back in the creative world, that means more to me than ANYTHING!! good luck with your art or whatever you decide to do with that inspiration!

 can i pls have your editing skill please and thank you

i owe most my editing at this point to reshade so honestly get reshade and u will probably become better than me

o added u on animal crossing and when you added me back i was so happy,, your little person is sooo adorable ((:

OMG!! thank you!! everyone’s person on there is adorable i cry i love them all so much i’m so mad tho it won’t let me add any more friends!!! it probably cuts off at like 100 friends or something STUPID

First of all, I love you. Secondly, I love your photos so much. I'm legit about to just ditch sims 3 for 4 now because of your amazing posts. 😖

LMFAO no but really THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!!! if you can manage playing both i admire u, i’ve invested too much time and effort into ts4 to ever fully go back to any other sims games tbh

The new patch made my game unplayable! I'm crying, I miss my doggos...

NOOOOO!!! hopefully by now you’ve found a fix, i’m prayin for u

long time listener, first time caller yoooo. i like everyone love your stories and your sim aesthetic so so so much and just tbh i was offended on your behalf about that ask from that person wanting to novelize your stories. like you were way too nice. this is your intellectual property and it's fucked up that someone would think it'd be okay to duplicate it as long as they used a different medium. this is prob a bad one to repost just wanted to you to know you're an awesome, singular voice

omfg lmao this is a radio show now *z100 voice* tellem why ya mad euhhh first of all i can’t believe someone even ASKED that, i’m in shock because like what this is so foreign to me. people want to write about MY characters WHAT! like that alone...takes a long time to process. and like i know i should say no but then i feel mean but they’re also my creations so like idk. it warms my heart that you feel so strongly and would stand up for me like that i’m cryin thank u for calling in i love u

I JUST FINISHED YOUR ENTIRE STORY AND I'M NOT OK WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PUTTING ME THROUGH THAT SHIT IT'S AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE ABUSED MY (NON EXISTENT) INNOCENCE WOW

I’M SO SORRY U HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR STEALING YOUR INNOCENCE I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN OSDAFKJDSK BUT THANK YOU FOR READING I’M GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT EVEN IF IT HURT YOU!!!

I've been up all night and it's now 11am. I'm completely binging on your stories bc I am in LOVE and need a Molly in my game asap. Do you think you'll ever upload her?

omG my freaking story inciting insomnia i’m so sorry for ur sleep schedule first of all, but at least that makes you identify with santi even more omg tho ;___; (how many times will i say ‘omg’ i wonder) i don’t think so because she is so dear to me and makes my heart ache, she is just so special, i dunno if i could ever release her into the wild like that lmao. i haven’t even shared her with my friends (not that i really ever had a reason to) but like yeah. maybe in the future that’ll change but right now, no, i’m sorry <3

To change the topic: Idk if you watch stranger things but I only managed to get to episode 3 of season 2 before I stopped watching lmao it was so bad and Billy (a certified Cunt) ruined the whole show for me

YEAH I DID! omg. i have a LOT of issues with this season (mostly in how badly they tried to retcon nancy and everyone else not caring about barb’s death, how bad the writing was in the realm of nancy and steve breaking up and then her and jonathan getting together...holy fuck it was so uncomfortable with that 40 yr old conspiracy theorist guy i couldn’t even enjoy my ship getting together lmao) also ur right, max and billy honestly did not offer anything to the story...like i loved max too but what was the point...billy acted like their presence and the reason they had to move was so dramatic when it was really nothing...unless they’re saving that for season 3 but like. the whole situation with billy was so anticlimactic. he was like a walmart version of henry from IT. like boohoo ur dad’s an asshole and then he beat up steve. good character arc. i liked max standing up for herself but really...that whole thing was so lackluster, i didn’t care about it at all. ALSO I HATED THAT THEY DIDN’T LET MAX AND ELEVEN BE FRIENDS!! i’m sure it’ll happen in season 3 but like c’mon...that would’ve made the max character feel a little more important to the story. anyway yeah fuck billy and i don’t get why everyone is lusting after him or his actor they’re both ugly! thanks for listening

I just got the sims 4 + city living and I’m so excited! I was really inspired by your stories and style in general... I was wondering what packs do you have and also what are your favourite sims 4 hairs? I’m having trouble finding ones and I love your style!

YAY I’M EXCITED FOR YOU!!! omg aww it warms my heart so much when people say i inspire them because i never anticipated that kind of response, thank you so much <3 hmmm i think i have all of them except glamour stuff and fitness stuff. and pretty much all the hairs i download are here or here. (or the subsequent ‘tf’, ‘cf’, ‘tm’ and ‘cm’ tags as well, according to age)

UHM a 19 year old and a 13 year old? Poor baby Lou... Also youre a brilliant writer i cant

😬😬😬  stay tuned ajasdhjhjsahd thank you so much!!!

My stan levels for you have increased so much? like thanks for being a good ally, clAps for femmesim!

lmao thank you, i don’t really deserve praise tho i’m just passing on the knowledge of those patient enough to teach me. just trying to do what i can with my privilege u know. ily

How do you have teeth showing in so many of your pictures of Lou and Molly, do you PS them in?

i’ve gotten this question before and it’s usually just the poses used! i do have some lipsticks that have teeth on them but i mostly use them for just rooney.

Honestly, a fight between Santi and that new guy (srry, forgot his name while typing this) would be so hot. Like, I hope Santi would win but like just watching Santi fight him for Lou would make me happy!! Also, I live for your stories💞

omG i’m about to call up vince mcmahon they both need to fight on smackdown it’s gonna happen. they’ll both be shirtless too ok and THANK YOU ILY

boi poc can be PREJUDICED against white people but there is no such thing as reverse racIIIIIIiiiiIIIIIiiiIIIIsm

Lemme just say that you must be feeling so stressed rn. I love you and your simblr!!! Your posts light up my day!! <3333

OMg kind of. this week has taken A Lot out of me and i really just want to chill at home and play my freaking GAME but obligations. u know. here’s hoping i get a day off this week. i’m mad i’m probably gonna miss gianni’s birthday too (it’s on tuesday) and i wanted to do something for it!! i’ll probably do it late like i did last year too lmao i’m so sorry baby g ANYWAY u didn’t ask to hear about any of this...thank you for this sweet message i love you <3

why,,,, are people... coming to your blog to discuss race you are a fucking simblr WHAT

the real question is why do people go to you like its your job to educate them lmao like theres so many resources out there

SHAWDY u aint wrong reverse racism is literally a joke i am so sorry you have to go through all of this keep stepping on white feelings we deserve it

I was wondering would u consider Asians to be POC?

yes

I just finished Strange the Dreamer and it was fucking amazing. I cried so much and I laughed and I sat in absolute amazement at the world Laini Taylor has created. 100/10 would recommend

ahhhh i really need to read it apparently!! i’m like 10% away from being done with a dance with dragons (and then i have to wait for the next book like a peasant HURRY UP KING GEORGE) anyway this one is definitely on my list!

omgomg!! I just met this girl in my class who has eyes just like ramona's!!! But like instead of being brown w/ a little bit of blue, they were blue w/ a little bit of brown!!! Dude I was so shook I rlly didn't think ppl had eyes like that!

OMG!!!! that’s amazing! and yes heterochromia is a real thing haha. i’ve only met one person with it and he had the same color combo as ramona too, only his was full heterochromia, not sectoral.

*me in the background screaming* nO yOU LEAVE HER ALoNE baD-DAD-MaN!

ME TF TOO

every time i read some of your stories i get an ache in my heart that doesn't go away until i either cry or sleep so interpret that as you like

OMG ;_____; ok me too tho my heart literally hurts thinking about my characters sometimes...mostly santi...i hate him (no i don’t :{ )

hey uhh idk if you've answered something like this before but do you have a spotify or something bc your music taste is GOLD

THANK YOU!! you were the first person to ask about this haha and hopefully you saw my answer to the other question about it! i just made one and it’s here!

hi hi ! i’m seeing all the drama on da blog and i really want to read the whole story but i can’t get to it on mobile so i was wondering if you could link the beginning and tell me what the best order to read it in is ( i’m so confused because i’ve seen sm people y’all about a parallel story so idk if i’m being dumb !! ) i hope this isn’t any inconvenience also your sims are so beautiful sjajsjajs

hey on mobile the link is just: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono i would honestly just recommend that order haha, it makes things simpler and it encompasses ALL story posts, or posts that give context. there are parallels in my story, lou’s is kind of a parallel of santi’s, only different...well...you’ll see. but yeah sorry this is so late! and thank you!!!

TU HISTORIA ES TAAAAAN BUENA POR DIOOOOS (YOURE STORY IS SOOOOO GOOD OMG) <3 <3 *OO* *cries in spanish*

MUCHAS GRACIAS ENCANTADORA PERSONAAAA <333

lou is wendy right? i mean, a wendy complex is someone who is overly mothering to partners, and lou is already a mother and ik that doesn't really count as foreshadowing but it seems like it could be a link to me. it'd make sense too, considering guys that go after younger girls (ew) are usually immature ie peter pan complex. it'd make the most sense that those two go together then.

heheheheh that is a VERY good observation...that’s all i’m gonna say!!

This has nothing to do with what's happening in the story rn, but whatever. I was wondering if you were going to mention lou's struggles with being a single mom and the stigma surrounding single motherhood? As a single mother myself I'd really enjoy seeing you take on the issue. Personally, my biggest problem was overcoming the generalizations people put on you when you're a single mom. People always assumed that I that I was stupid and uneducated because I had my son when I was 17.

yes! that will definitely come up. i will focus a lot on her struggles as a single mom. so far i’ve mostly just peppered in some stuff about money troubles, and that will come up again, and the issues you mention will be pretty central to her character as well. i’m sorry you have to endure that, it’s not fair. people don’t even realize how strong and dedicated single mothers are.

when you say Peter Pan, do you mean the Disney stuff or the og creepy stuff?

i mean the general themes of the story and how that translates into a peter pan complex: boy who never grows up, feels like he fits in more with younger people (haha...yikes), read the message above because that anon described the other half of the equation better than i could

Wait, hold up. That dude is cute but I feel like he’s coming onto Lou way too strong. I have a bad feeling.. Lou is like 13 there and he is 19 I mean I’ve seen bigger gaps between people, but she is not legal yet.. Where are you going with this? 🤨😅

yyyyyyep that feeling is warranted! i am going a way i don’t think you guys expect me to go...i think you’ll be very confused at the end of this part lmao. that being said, i’m not putting any of this in for shock value or to romanticize inappropriate relationships like this. (i’m probably going to be repeating that a LOT for this story but please just keep that in mind)

Hey mom wanna hear a fun as hell story? I just got back from the ER bc I fell on my razor after showering, and practically cut my nipple in half. (I am in so much pain hELP)

OMFG NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR POOR NIPPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO SORRY I HOPE IT FEELS BETTER PLEASE UPDATE ME ON THE NIPPLE STATUS

U gotta watch sense8!!! Apart from the v awkward sex scenes it's v good, has a lot of representation and shit Just watch that shit show, u won't regret it (And if you do I cut your throat oops)

i’ve heard it’s good! i remember when it first came out and everyone was like Wow The Representation so honestly anything with diversity has already got me hooked pls don’t murder me.

I'm calling it now. He's Fi's dad. and he's a FUCKING CREEP!! Bitch you are 19!! LOU IS 13!! BACK THE FUCK OFF YOU PERV!!

no spoilers or anything but honestly i’m with you @ cillian die

Are they gonna fucc, o no

right now? no. that would be Very Bad

bABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE

oh same

Hi ! Your lastest edit (graveyard girl) is truly amazing, how did you make that bokeh behind her ? 😱😍

thank you so much!!! it’s reshade (with matso DOF)!

You've probably got this question a lot of times but i can't find the answer for it. What reshade do you use?

i gotta add this to my faq, it’s one i created myself but i started out with this one (it totally doesn’t resemble that one anymore but i think it’s a good starting point)

how do you make good looking male sims? mine always look the same and kinda girly..

hmmm longer faces, prominent chins and jaws, smaller eyes, bigger noses...generally yeah

What do you mean 9 + alt?

you gotta turn bb.moveobjects on and then press alt + 9 when an object is selected to move it upward. so what i did with those poses i made was, i selected a teleporter and pressed alt + 9 until it was at a spot i liked on the roof. that’s why releasing those poses would be tricky, ‘cause every build is different so there’s no set way to place them, you just kinda have to play around with them

You mentioned GoT so naturally, I have to chime in and express my love for Jon. Honestly, he won me over ever since the first season? I'm at season 5 now and people have already warned me so now i'm silently weeping, waiting for something to happen to my precious bby help

JONNY BOY!!!!!!!!!!! i loved his emo ass since the beginning but his arc with qorin halfhand (was he in the show??) was probably the best arc in book 2 and then his book 3 arc was just...SO GOOD, SO MUCH happens to him and i just felt like i was watching my son go through it all...i love that boy so much ;-; i’m almost at the end of the last book and i’m scared for him because of the one spoiler i know lmao and you’re at that point too so GET READY we’ll go through it together ok

So there's this game I'm playing where someone talking about another character says 'maybe you can break him from his ouroboros of self-fladulation' (I know I probably butchered those spellings but I'm not a bright egg and autocorrect isn't helping rip) and tbh it made me think of Santi. (Also I'mma scream of you get this reference jsyk)

OMG THE FACT THAT YOU THOUGHT OF HIM ;-; and it’s okay u are the brightest egg in the bunch to me. I’M SORRY I DON’T GET THIS REFERENCE BECAUSE I’M NOT A VIDEO GAME PERSON BUT I’LL PRETEND I DO KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT anyway yes santi is currently in the process of breaking his self-flagellation and embracing the oneness of the ouroboros (as opposed to letting the cycle repeat itself until he’s worn down to nothing)

do you have any favorite pose creators?

answered

do you have any tips for taking good screenshots in game? like how to get the good angles and good quality? i play on ultra but i think when i zoom in and then use the arrows on my keyboard to move around, the pictures gets less clear and looks kinda blurry. how should i do this?

well if you’re already using ultra, there’s not much you can do lmao. sims 4 is just bad with textures in general. it also depends on the objects as well, some are better quality than others. if i zoom in far on a sim’s face, i generally know there will be some pixelation and i can clean that up in photoshop with topaz clean and the smudge tool. i am very reliant on photoshop sometimes lmao. it sounds like you already have the basics of taking good screenshots, it’s just sometimes you have to fight and work with sims 4′s less-than-hd quality.

burn it down by daughter reminds me of santi & i'm in pain

ouroboros!!! death! birth! death again! birth again rinse repeat! also santi breaking the cycle because third time's the charm

The tattoo is an Ouroboros. It originated in Egyptian iconography, and it symbolizes recreation. My boy's recreating himself, I'm so proud.

ouroboros, the dragon eating its own tail. it's a sign of eternal renewal

i saw the post of child molly and just started BAWLING i miss her what the fuck she's my fave character i'M CRYING

ME TOO BICH!! ME FUCKIN TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just read all of A Serious Case Of The Novembers so far and theres still tears on my face. some of the best stuff ive read in a while, great job on everything

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ALSO I’M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU CRY

every time you write about molly and her in heaven it makes my heart swell, like the characters were answering asks and someone asked her what heaven was like and even though it was so small short lil answer it still pulls at the heart strings, basically what im trying to say is that your writing is so good! <3

omg ;_______; me too, i feel like she has such a simple way with words and although her descriptions of heaven are brief, they are also complex and beautiful, and even just writing it chokes me up ;-; thank you so much tho i’m so glad you like it!!

Molly: out Molly tatto: also out

why did this remind me of this post:

How did you edit in the fire in the last post? Looks cool

i searched things like “bonfire” and pasted parts of it that i wanted on the pic to make it look more realistic, then put a layer mask on the pasted pic and erased the edges and stuff to make it blend in better. the sparks and stuff i added by pasting it onto a new layer and changing the blending mode to screen! 

idk if you have every watched grey anatomy but Lou's backstory is starting to remind me of Jo (Jo is a character from the show) like Jo was in a abusive relationship and she is married to the guy but she cant get divorced or he will come and find her. So like if Lou didn't tell Fiona's dad he was a dad and Lou was married to him and cant escape the marriage (cause abuse), plus it would explain Lou's kink with being choked ;) full circle *god-like heaven music with tiniest violin is playing now*

ooh no i don’t but that’s interesting and i’m excited you even made a connection like that! i will say that it’s not lou who likes to be choked (the very opposite actually lmao) but otherwise the situation does kinda fit. i’m the violin

I have a freakin bio pre ap test tomorrow on photosynthesis and i have no idea what it is im going to fail save me

I’M ANSWERING THIS VERY LATE BUT I HOPE YOUR TEST WENT WELL!!!!!! *spongebob voice* photosynthesis

last time I installed reshade I couldn't get it to open the controls or shaders or anything in game :///// any tips?? I love they way reshade looks too!!

hmmmmm well i know the control panel opens when you press shift + f2, and then you check the boxes of the effects you want on them. i haven’t heard of this problem so i dunno what other advice to give i’m sorry :{ if it’s your first time installing it, you might have to wait a little to get it to load up.

Da puppy is so cute!!!

That dog and Romona are so adorable, I might cry

Ramona's cheeks are so big im in love

NAJKSDJGKJSD THANK YOU i love her and her chubby cheeks ;-;

OMG TOTORO IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE GHIBLI UGH FKSJFJANFB

SAME!!!!!!! if i could only watch ghibli movies for the rest of my life i’d be totally fine with that

THE DOGGIE HAS EYES JUST LIKE RAMONAS IM GONNA FUCKIGN CRY

ME FUCKGN TOO!!!!!!!!!! it was fate (aka me creating the wolf pup to look just like her shh i am fate)

Hope I'm not bothering you but i wondered if you knew how to make Tamo sims eyebags work on a toddler? Do I just click in s4s to work for toddler on the "age and gender flags" when looking in My CC or do I have to do something a little more than that please? Thank you.

for any skin detail or makeup, you have to go into s4s and open the package up, go to one of the tabs (honestly i don’t remember which one because i don’t have it open rn lmao) and you’ll see the different age groups and you check the box for toddler. and then save it of course. (there’s probably a better guide on how to do this somewhere lmao)

Hey :) Sorry to take up your time, I was wondering if you use win7, win8 or win10? I'm trying to decide on one and people seem to have very strong feelings about it. Also what web browser do you use? I've used Firefox, but I had some problems on CC websites. Thanks<3

i use windows 10 because it came with my laptop lmao i honestly don’t know much about windows systems at all!! and i use google chrome because it’s never failed me (even though windows keeps pressuring me to use the new internet explorer called “edge”)

i just finished all of novembers in a sitting and 1. i'm Sobbing, 2. your music taste is bomb

THANK YOU!!! my music taste is like one part indie shit, one part rap and hip-hop, twelve parts emo middle school bands

what is the size of the original unedited screenshot?

1920x1080

For reshade when your first install and select the reshade you want to use do you have to edit the settings? Cause last time I tried to (I didn’t know what most of the things meant lmao) but it kept saying error or something so I couldn’t play the game so I ended up taking out reshade

do you mean the preset you want to use? i mean no you can just play with that preset, you don’t have to change anything about it. i’m not sure what you mean but i followed this guide for setting it up

Will you ever share your preset?? Or maybe a preset made be you??

i’ve answered this before but the answer is Maybe

Hi!!!! How do you make the rays of light you have in your photos?? THANK U BBY <3333

that’s actually in my editing tutorial but here you go <3

is reshade only available on windows + do we need to pay for it

yes and no

Hello love! I was wondering (and maybe it's a dumb question, idk) but what life span setting do you use? I would assume you turned off aging for your story but maybe I'm wrong ;w; Thank you!!

i do actually have aging off ‘cause i’m a coward lmao even in the ts3 days when i wasn’t doing story stuff and literally just playing i had it off for the most part and just aged sims up when i wanted because i like to be in control of Everything (aries)

I really just wanted to say that I’m new I your tumblr but your stories are amazing and I love them so much!!! Keep doing what you’re doing💞👏🏼

hey thank you!!! you are so kind and i’m glad you’re enjoying everything!!

In your reshade settings where have you set it to save your SS's to and which key please? I can't find mine after setting it to desktop/screenshots :(

i just set mine to ts4′s screenshots folder because it’s what i was used to and it works for me haha. hmmmmmm did you copy the exact address or whatever it’s called of your folder’s location and then paste it into the reshade box? try doing that with another location and see if it works. if anything you can do what i did ‘cause it worked for me 

ok SO i came across this music video for this like spanish/english speaking indie band called The Marías and the song was déjate llevar and literally everything about the music video reminded me of rooney and gianni

OMMMGGG i love this so much, i cry @ music suggestions and this is so them ;-; i think i’ve heard of this band before actually!!

a little life is going to fucking ruin you,,, just a warning

great! i look forward to it

can a steal ur talent

have it i don’t need it

What app are you using to make them cool edit things??

i tagged it but it was doodle face

omg Strange the Dreamer is so freaking amazing! It’s literally one of my favorite books of all time; You’ll love it. The writing is absolutely delightful

you guys are really singin the praises for this book!! i have so many dang books to read i swear

[jakejamesjournalism]

vampire weekend in the post-rostam era

6/8/2019                                                     

A group of high school kids starting a rock band is a great American past time… especially for those kids cut from the baseball team, THE great American past time.  The type of practice and commitment to collaboration it takes to become a good band or a good ball player is what makes both past times so appealing to the rest of us.  It was the love of the songwriting process first.  It was the smell of the fresh cut infield grass that got the particular individual in a single-minded mission in trying to turn the past time he chose into art.  Famous songwriters and performers loved and obsessed over the music they were recording long before the record deal came the same way pro athletes dedicate their lives to training years before draft day. 

That in itself, becoming successful at your chosen past time, turning it into art, and making a career out of it makes you all the more appealing to your inevitably growing fan base.  Aside from giving their specific audiences an emotional release, the love also comes from the acknowledgement that none of what you had was inherited, it was earned from tireless hours seeking perfection way before any dollars rolled in.  Sadly, most high school bands that scrape together money for studio time and college athletes who put it all on the line don’t ever come close to getting the recognition for their hard work.  They certainly don’t get the money.  This is not to say either activity is a waste of time.  Almost everyone comes out the other end of a band or sports team a better person.  Forming a band and being part of a team can build future collaborative skills that can positively affect the participant in numerous aspects of life…but the money and fame escape him.

Fortunately for some already privileged Columbia undergrads casually starting a band after a night of beer games turned into more than what any of them at the time could’ve imagined.  Although true, it was clear from the very beginning that Vampire Weekend wasn’t just another band.  Ezra Koenig, Rostam Batmanglij, Chris Tomson, and Chris Baio (excuse my oxford comma) made a name for themselves on the indie rock scene within 18 months of their inception.  While some critics spent time whining about how much the band sounded like Paul Simon’s ‘Graceland,’ most heard it as I did.  An indie record at heart with accessible pop ideas that weren’t carried by synths and predictable filler but rather tribal African drum rhythms, live instrumentation, and brilliant, witty wordplay.  This was highlighted on A-Punk, a self-referential gem about New York City that ironically catapulted them to fame way out of the five boroughs.  The two members of the band benefitting the most from the increased acclaim and exposure was Ezra Koenig, lead singer and lyricist and Rostam Batmanglij, who was the multi-instrumentalist often credited with being the brainchild behind the bands entire sound. 

“Rostam and I are the two main songwriters” Ezra said in an interview early in the bands career.  With Contra, the 2010 follow up to their self-titled debut that mythology continued to grow.  The two of them became masters at employing subtle differences in their recording styles.  Instead of using familiar echo sounds and various chamber effects that previously yielded glorious and simplistic pop harmonies, Rostam opted for a more digital sound.  Contra did this while also staying true to the bands organic DIY style.  From a critics standpoint this time around, it was more of a Talking Heads 80s experiment than a Paul Simon one.  While Ezra remained a capable songwriter, he felt the liberty to have more fun with his vocal palette.  On Contra, the band expanded the vocal possibilities.  There was gibberish wailing on the standout track ‘White Sky’ and even distorted speed rap on the song ‘California English’; both came off as successful sonic endeavors.  Rostam mixed Ezra’s vocals beautifully, knowing exactly when to let his feral tendencies run wild and when to harness them into gorgeous vocal textures.  The winning team was making their pastime a thing of true art.  A tandem now responsible for writing two of the most significant indie records of the new era.  It seemed like a partnership that would yield classic tunes for years on end.

It initially seemed this way on the bands third LP Modern Vampires of the City.  A level of maturation some detractors never thought the band could reach was on full display here.  Rostam’s production (this time assisted by pop guru and future collaborator Ariel Rechtshaid) was darker and more experimental without losing a shred of accessibility.  Ezra’s lyrics were far more introspective, dealing with themes of faith, mortality, and ‘Dying Young.’  The album features both ‘Step’ and ‘Hannah Hunt’ the two best songs the band has ever written.  Overall it was a masterpiece.  The band hit full stride; headlining major festivals, winning Grammy awards all while remaining true to their sound.  They were able to solidify themselves as serious artists with a singular vision.  No longer prep school boys who create decent music by taking the best pieces of their influences and mashing them together, this was the sound of a band in total control of their past time. 

It went unsaid, but it was understood, and well deserved, that Vampire Weekend would be enjoying a hiatus after the success and laborious touring schedule surrounding Modern Vampires.  Even so, after the Grammy, the critical acclaim, the incredible sales numbers, something totally unseen to the general public between the two main songwriters wasn’t right.  To everyone’s surprise and utter bewilderment, Rostam decided to leave the band indefinitely.

“My identity as a songwriter + producer needs to stand on its own.” Read Rostam’s public statement.  The news instantly polarized fans.  Many, like myself, criticized Rostam for leaving a good thing, while coming off extremely pretentious and ungrateful.  The man is lucky enough to be cooped up in the most successful songwriting duo in modern day rock music, why would he feel unfulfilled achieving greatness in the setting of a great band? Why must his work stand outside the efforts of collaboration? Who does he think he is?

It was known that Rostam, the multi instrumental production guru was always responsible for the sound of Vampire Weekend, while Ezra supplied the lyrics.  The parting seemed amicable, but all in all it left the future of the band in a precarious situation.  What was Vampire Weekend without Rostam? That very question went years unanswered. 

In the years since Rostam left Vampire Weekend, he has had limited success finding any traction as a solo artist.  His best effort thus far has been a collaborative record with Hamilton Leithauser of the Walkmen.  A brilliant record full of the same elegant strings, organic drum sections, and blissful pianos that came to define the sound of his former band.  Even so, it was still a behind the scenes production victory to add to his resume.  Hamilton is excellent on that record, giving Rostam’s instrumentals a visceral feel with his raspy passionate hoarse vocal delivery. 

As a front man himself, Rostam hasn’t achieved much.  His debut album Half-Light, released in 2017 came and went without much of a peep from anyone.  Indie circles overlooked it, it didn’t have a repeatable single, the vocals were shaky at best I gave it two listens and it passed it into the pile of albums that came and went without making a sound.  Since then, Rostam has not been able to find his voice.  Whether or not he can be an important voice in pop music remains to be seen, the talent behind the boards is there but it’s time for him to realize what he can and cannot do.  It takes a necessary self-awareness to know one’s limitations in any job, in any past time.  A contact hitter who plays his role by getting on base doesn’t swing for the fences.  I believe Rostam’s ego and infatuation with being the front man took him away from his true self a bit. 

Left alone in all this is Mr. Ezra Koenig. Years went on without a whisper of any new music and people started to wonder that same question: What is Vampire Weekend without Rostam? and more pressingly: Can Ezra write a Vampire Weekend album without him?  Turns out, answer is both yes and no.

Enlisting in pop guru and Max Martin collaborator, Ezra and co. brought back Ariel Rechtshaid to give the band help in the production department.  Ezra also used his smarts to understand the best way to go about marketing the new album.  A record far more freewheeling than previous releases, Ezra became more eclectic than ever, and shared a plethora of wide-ranging singles way before the album was scheduled to drop. 

The fourth album by Vampire Weekend, the 18-track record titled Father of the Bride was finally released May 3, 2019. Noted for its fusion of nonchalant broad-ranging grooves and witty pop songs about love, summer days, locking hate at the gate, and a few morbid things as well.  Ariel creates a template of shade from the warming sun for Ezra to bask in and the results are often satisfying.  While this new album won’t go down in history as an instant classic like its predecessor, it’s still hard to consider Father of the Bride to be anything but a monumental success.  Quality songs exist all throughout this thing and contain some of Ezra’s best songs yet.  An arena tour on the way, good new songs to play, and first week sales eclipsing 140k.  Say what you want about sales in today’s musical landscape, it’s impressive when a group of guys who still primarily play guitars can sell 140k first week.  It’s special.  You would have a hard time listing bands that released their debut record after 2000 than can sell over 100k first week and sell out Madison Square Garden.  What Vampire Weekend has is special.  

I’m predicting FOTB to be a summer 19’ novelty.  I’ve already heard cuts out on the streets of Asbury Park NJ, backyard cookouts, and New York City bars alike.  Can jam, car rides with the windows down, and poolside convos, Father of the Bride is a free-wheeling summer record that also has a thing or two you can learn from. 

It’s a wonder to me, knowing what he knows now, if Rostam would make the same decision all over again.  Joining a band is an American past time.  Playing in a band that influences the masses on a grand stage is special and should be cherished and appreciated as such.  Leaving such a beautiful situation seems egotistical. It may not be the case here, but it is the perception.  Ezra has proved himself to be just fine without him.  Rostam has time to blossom.  He is still young and has shown shades of greatness (the production on Frank Ocean’s Ivy is otherworldly) but that once again, is a highlight in music production-something behind the scenes.  Rostam, if you have a voice worth hearing, now is the time. 

[jakejames09]

No Rostam, no problem?  Vampire Weekend in the post-Rostam era

A group of high school kids starting a rock band is a great American past time.  Especially for those kids cut from the baseball team, THE great American past time.  The type of practice and commitment to collaboration it takes to become a good band or a good ball player is what makes both past times so appealing to the rest of us.  It was the love of the songwriting process first.  It was the smell of the fresh cut infield grass that got the particular individual in a single minded mission in trying to turn the past time he chose into art.  Famous songwriters and performers loved and obsessed over the music they were recording long before the record deal came the same way pro athletes dedicate their lives to training years before draft day.  That in itself, becoming successful at your chosen past time, turning it into art, and making a career out of it makes you all the more appealing to your inevitably growing fan base.  Aside from giving their specific audiences an emotional release, the love also comes from the acknowledgement that none of what you had was inherited, it was earned from tireless hours seeking perfection way before any dollars rolled in.  Sadly, most high school bands that scrape together money for studio time and college athletes who put it all on the line don’t ever come close to getting the recognition for their hard work.  They certainly don’t get the money.  This is not to say either activity is a waste of time.  Almost everyone comes out the other end of a band or sports team a better person.  Forming a band and being part of a team can build future team skills that can positively affect the participant in numerous aspects of life...but the money and fame escape him.

Fortunately for some already privileged Ivy League Scholars from New York the band casually started at a Columbia party turned into more than anyone could imagine on that alcohol fueled evening.  Ezra Koenig, Rostam Batmanglij, Chris Tomson, and Chris Baio formed Vampire Weekend.  (Excuse my oxford comma).  From the very beginning it was clear that Vampire Weekend wasn’t just another band.  Within 18 months of their inception, Vampire Weekend made a name for themselves on the indie scene.  While some critics spent time whining about how much the band sounded like Paul Simon’s Graceland, most heard it as I did.  An indie record at heart with accessible pop ideas that weren’t carried by synths and predictable filler but rather tribal African drum rhythms, live instrumentation, and brilliant, witty, self deprecating wordplay.  This was highlighted on A-Punk, a self-referenial gem about New York City that ironically catapulted them to international stardom.  The two members of the band benefitting the most from the increased acclaim and exposure was Ezra Koenig, lead singer and lyricist and Rostam Batmanglij, who was the multi-instrumentalist often credited with being the brainchild behind the bands entire sound. 

“Rostam and I are the two main songwriters” Ezra said in an interview early in the bands career.  With Contra, the 2010 follow up to their self titled debut that mythology continued to grow.  The two of them became masters at employing subtle differences in their recording styles.  Instead of using familiar echo sounds and various chamber effects that previously yielded glorious and simplistic pop harmonies, Rostam opted for a more digital sound.  Contra did this while also staying true to the bands organic DIY style.  From a critics standpoint this time around, it was more of a Talking Heads 80s experiment than a Paul Simon one.  While Ezra remained a capable songwriter, he felt the liberty to have more fun with his vocal palette.  On Contra, the band expanded the vocal possibilities.  There was gibberish wailing on the standout track ‘White Sky’ and even distorted speed rap on the song ‘California English’; both came off as successful sonic endeavors.  Rostam mixed Ezra’s vocals beautifully, knowing exactly when to let his feral tendencies run wild and when to harness them into gorgeous vocal textures.  The winning team was making their pastime a thing of true art.  A tandem now responsible for writing two of the most significant indie records of the new era.  It seemed like a partnership that would yield classic tunes for years on end.

It initially seemed this way on the bands third LP Modern Vampires of the City.  A level of maturation some detractors never thought the band could reach was on full display on MVOC.  Rostam’s production (this time assisted by pop guru and future collaborator Ariel Rechtshaid) was darker and more experimental without losing a shred of accessibility.  Ezra’s lyrics were far more introspective, dealing with themes of faith, mortality, and Dying Young.  ‘Ya Hey’ is still the most ambitious undertaking of the bands career.  Coming off as an eerie baroque pop anthem marching its way through a catchy uneven time signature with huge heart and a singalong melody made the song a special moment in the storied bands catalog.  ‘Unbelievers’ is another one.  One the surface the song seems like your average guitar pop bop but Ezra’s lyrics about mortality and the seriousness behind it add an appropriate darkness that gives an upbeat song a human feel.  A feeling amplified and perfected on Hannah Hunt and Step.  The two best tracks in the bands discography.  The band hit full stride.  Headlined major festivals.  Won a Grammy.  All while remaining true to their sound they were able to solidify themselves as serious artists with a singular vision.  No longer prep school boys who create decent music by taking the best pieces of their influences and mashing them together, this was the sound of a band in total control of their past time. 

It went unsaid, but it was understood, and well deserved, that Vampire Weekend would be enjoying a hiatus after the success and laborious touring schedule surrounding Modern Vampires.  Even so, after the Grammy, the critical acclaim, the incredible sales numbers, something between the two main songwriters wasn’t right.  So even though the latest release solidified the bands immediate legacy Rostam decided to leave the band indefinitely.

“My identity as a songwriter + producer needs to stand on its own.” Read Rostam’s public statement.  The news instantly polarized fans.  Many, like myself, criticized Rostam for leaving a good thing, while coming off extremely pretentious and ungrateful.  The man is lucky enough to be cooped up in the most successful songwriting duo in modern day rock music, why would he feel unfulfilled achieving greatness in the setting of a great band? Why must his work stand outside the efforts of collaboration? Who does he think he is?

It was known that Rostam, the multi instrumental production guru was always responsible for the sound of Vampire Weekend, while Ezra supplied the lyrics.  The parting seemed amicable, but all in all it left the future of the band in a precarious situation.  What was Vampire Weekend without Rostam? That very question went years unanswered. 

But in the years since Rostam left Vampire Weekend, he has had limited success in finding any traction as a solo artist.  His best effort thus far has been a collaborative record with Hamilton Leithauser of the Walkmen.  A brilliant record full of the same elegant strings, organic drum sections, and blissful pianos that were similar to the ones that came to define the sound of Vampire Weekend.  Even so, it was still a behind the scenes production victory to add to his resume.  As a front man, Rostam hasn’t achieved the same success.  His debut album Half-Light, released in 2017 came and went without much of a peep from anyone.  Indie circles overlooked it, it didn’t have a repeatable single, the vocals were shaky at best, and it passed before the world knew it existed.  I think even I only gave it one listen.  Since then, Rostam has not been able to find his voice.  Whether or not he can be an important voice in pop music remains to be seen, the talent behind the boards is there but it’s time for him to realize what he can and cannot do.  It takes a necessary self awareness to know ones limitations in any job, in any past time.  A contact hitter who plays his role by getting on base doesn’t swing for the fences.  I believe Rostam’s ego and infatuation with being the front man took him away from his true self a bit. 

As Rostam struggled to find footing without the band, and as the years went on it seemed like Ezra was in the same boat.  Years went on without a whisper of any new music and people started to wonder that same question: What is Vampire Weekend without Ezra? and more pressingly: Can Ezra write a Vampire Weekend album without him?  The answer is both yes and no.

Enlisting in pop guru and Max Martin collaborator, Ezra and co. brought back Ariel Rechtshaid to give the band help in the production department.  Ezra also used his smarts to understand the best way to go about marketing the new album.  A record far more freewheeling than previous releases, Ezra became more eclectic than ever, and shared a plethora of wide-ranging singles way before the album was scheduled to drop. 

The 18 track record is noted for its fusion of nonchalant broad-ranging grooves and witty pop songs about love, summer days, locking hate at the gate, and a few morbid things as well.  Ariel creates a template of sunshine for Ezra to shine under, and the results are often satisfying.  While this new album won’t go down in history as an instant classic like its predecessor, it’s still hard to consider Father of the Bride to be anything but a monumental success.  Quality songs exist all through this thing that contain some of Ezra’s best wordplay.  An arena tour on the way, good new songs to play, and first week sales eclipsing 140k.  Say what you want about sales in today’s musical landscape, it’s impressive when a group of guys who still play guitars can sell 140k first week.  It’s special.  You would have a hard time listing bands that released their debut record after 2000 than can sell over 100k first week and sell out Madison Square Garden.  What Vampire Weekend has is special.  

Father of the Bride is the soundtrack to many good summer nights.  I’ve already heard cuts out on the streets of Asbury Park NJ, backyard cookouts, and New York City bars alike.  Can jam, car rides with the windows down, and poolside convos, Father of the Bride is a jubilant summer record that also has a thing or two you can learn from. 

It’s a wonder to me, knowing what he knows now, if Rostam would make the same decision all over again.  Joining a band is an American past time.  Playing in a band that influences the masses on a grand stage is special and should be cherished and appreciated as such.  Leaving such a beautiful situation seems hard to believe.  Ezra has proved himself to be just fine without him.  Rostam has time to blossom.  He is still young and has shown shades of greatness (the production on Frank Ocean’s Ivy is otherworldly) but that once again, is a highlight in music production.  Rostam, if you have a voice worth hearing, now is the time. 

[spuriusbrocoli]

What I’m listening to tonight (decided to bring this back because fuckit).

“The Less I Know the Better“ by Tame Impala (”Currents”): This song kills from the first notes. Yeah, I get that this and “Let It Happen“ are everyone’s favorite Tame Impala songs, but I had “Currents” on my phone for several weeks because I couldn’t get a strong enough WiFi signal to fix up my downloaded songs, so I know the album back and forth. It’s easily the best track. It just has such a groove to it that you can ride through the whole song.

“Gravedigress“ by CocoRosie (”Tales of a Grasswidow”): I’ve already talked about “Gravedigress“, so I’ll not repeat myself and simply say that this song is good.

“Ocean Man“ by Ween (”The Mollusk”): Another song on an album I’ve already reviewed. Huh. t’s like I mostly talk about music I like.

“Too Much Time Together“ by San Cisco (”Gracetown”): I did review San Cisco’s self-titled, but this is off “Gracetown“, so it doesn’t count. Interestingly, San Cisco’s music is probably the most well-adjusted of indie-rock, to be quite honest. This is an actual adult reaction to an adult problem: namely recognizing that sometimes you need some space from your sweetheart.

“Big Time Sensuality“ by Björk (”Debut”): I have such a fondness for Björk’s first album, to be honest. I mean, I love that she evolved musically and in her image, but there’s a playfulness to “Debut“ that isn’t present in much of her later work, “Medulla“ in particular (though then again, “Medulla“ is her worst album). It’s just a more fun song than most of Björk’s work after “Debut“. Compare the really jam-worthy saxophone sprinklings and party-esque beat to the more somber and spiritual “Sun In My Mouth“, which is also a good song, but not quite as magical.

“Come to Dust“ by Boards of Canada (”Tomorrow’s Harvest”): I don’t knw what it is about “Tomorrow’s Harvest“, but I got it so much more than literally every other album Boards of Canada have done. Maybe it was the complete abandonment of vocals, but I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s that “Tomorrow’s Harvest“ is more abstract in its sound and trying to tap into something more earthy and spiritual than most of their other work. I listened to “Tomorrow’s Harvest“ one late winter night after work as I watched the snow fall. It was really magical.

“HillBilly Man“ by The Gorillaz (”The Fall”): I don’t know if this is a controversial statement, but “The Fall“ is The Gorillaz’s best album. I also want to see Garnet from Steven Universe dance to this track specifically. Seems her style.

“Walcott“ by Vampire Weekend (self-titled): Any song about how much Cape Cod sucks would have to be doing something truly awful for my Cape Codder ass to dislike it, and I’m not sure Vampire Weekend are capable of sucking that much, frankly. If anything, they were too kind to that glamorized corpse being sold to bourgie gay men to drunk on beaches and booze to know that the overrated sandbar died decades ago. It’s a festering overpriced corpse with xenophobic hatred of the outside world and a heroine problem, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. I agree with Vampire Weekend: Get the fuck out of Cape Cod. And let it drift its miserable self out to sea.

“Oblivion“ by Grimes (”Visions”): So Grimes wrote “Visions“ in like a week, so it’s little surprise that “Infinite Love Without Fulfillment“ and “Oblivion“ are kind of rough on the song cutoffs. They flow great together on the album, mind, but it’s rough in a playlist. Still, Grimes is good music, whatever else can be said about her and her periphery.

“I’m With You“ by Grouplove (”Spreading Rumors”): I feel like this track should be better known and more acclaimed than it is. It’s both an amazing instrumental buildup and one of the best openers to an album I’ve ever heard. Its first bars are frenetic, but you don’t feel just how much because of how muted it is until it hits you like a brick. I judge songs quite a bit by what kind of imagery they conjure up in me, and “I’m With You“ is one of the strongest mental pictures I’ve ever had conquered, that intro especially. But the rest of the song does manage to capitalize on that energy in a way that a lot of songs would have gad trouble doing.

“Dance Yrself Clean“ by LCD Soundsystem (”This Is Happening”): The degree to which LCD Soundsystem is EDM’s grumpy old uncle is ridiculous, and “This Is Happening“ is their grumpiest, oldest album yet. I’m nit sure what I’ll be going into their upcoming album feeling, but they’ve not made a bad album yet, and that’s a strong sign. But “Dance Yrself Clean“ still manages to work in the charm into its glib, at times purposefully-grating sarcasm. Maybe it’s just the subtleties in the layering and bitchy intellectualism I’m such a slut for, idk. It works.

“Bury It“ by CHVRCHES (”Every Open Eye”): I was really disappointed with “Every Open Eye“ for reasons it really couldn’t have helped. Its predecessor “The Mother We Share” was the soundtrack to some personal heartbreak, so it elicits a lot of emotions, good and bad that “Every Open Eye” simply can’t by lack of association. Still, this was the track that eventually got me to finally like the album. I wouldn’t have gotten Hayley Williams to do a remix of it, though. Williams is such a rock voice, all personality and no opera, which is what electronica vocals (usually) need. (It’s certainly what “Bury It“ needs.) She certainly doesn’t add much that Lauren Mayberry didn’t herself add. Anyway, the song does manage to use those strong electronica melodies and beats to drive forth a lot of pathos, which is CHVRCHES playing to their strengths. Whatever other misgivings I have about it, it at least hs that much going for it,

“You Know Where to Find Me“ by Imogen Heap (”Sparks”): Ending on an album opener because I know how to make playlists : ) In my defense, I literally threw this together as I listened. Also, this is such a great song to close on, really. It’s got a quiet breathiness to it. It’s just intimate and still. The sot of song that captures precisely the ways in which we don’t need to communicate with the people we’re close to. We can just breathe and let memories and emotions wash over us. It’s a sort of love that English is too impoverished to name. It does build to that darker edges like bad memories from lifetimes ago. It’s just a good song to get something off your chest to without saying a word.

And with that, I bid you a good night, Tumblr.

[freelydelicioushideout]

MH Fanfic Part 2

So part 2 was sitting in notepad for months! Here is part 1

https://freelydelicioushideout.tumblr.com/post/153931132050/mh-fanfic-part-1

Enjoy! it’s been awhile, so where’s my groove? Gotta go find it!

It was cold. So cold. What happens when you put a snake man and an ancient Egyptian Princess outside during the fall? Two VERY cold monsters! Deuce focused on what Gob had said. Gob was his bro, a cool bro, but he was so food motivated that it took Deuce hours to convince the gelatinous friend that he could not go on their date with them. Deuce glanced over at Cleo, she hadn’t said a word since they left. The castle that was now Monster High was vanishing from view behind them. Cleo’s face was looking straight forward, eyes lidded bu focused. She was so beautiful, Deuce wondered what she was thinking.

I’m cold, I’m cold, I’m cold, I’m cold, I’m cold! Cleo was focusing as hard as she could to appear content. Egypt was hot, sunny and sandy. How did Dracula and Draculaura stand this!? Vampires aren’t warm creatures so maybe it’s the heat they can’t stand? And what about Deuce? Cleo was no stranger to snakes, and she knew Deuce had to be struggling, right? Gorgons weren’t that different from snakes? Cleo quickly grabbed her phone from her pocket. Temperature: 58 F. Logically this wasn’t freezing, but to the two cold hating monsters, it was. Cleo heard a loud snap from somewhere in the woods that shrouded their school. Normies didn’t come this way because of the monster rumors, but maybe a daredevil or two snuck out.

Cleo looked up at Deuce, he too was searching for the source of the noise. This wouldn’t be good. they were disguised as normies and blended in well, however their disguises had them...stuck. Cleo couldn’t extend her wraps like this, she could try her piercing mummy scream but that only stunned people for awhile. it wouldn’t be enough. Deuce’s goggles were meant to not leave his head, so stoning people wouldn’t be an easy feat. Luckily he had his Gorgon strength, Cleo witnessed first hand how tough he was when he fell from the ladder.

“Probably a squirrel.” Deuce’s voice was muffled from the scarf. “Did uh..did you have squirrels in Egypt?”

“No...” Cleo said slowly as she continued forward, but she appreciated his attempt to break the silence.

“Right. So uhm, I know I’ve said it like a thousand times but I’m really, uh, sorry for stoning you waaay back when.” He said sheepishly.

“You mean a month ago?” Cleo mused with a sly look.

“...yes.” He slightly kicked a leaf.

“It was only for a few minutes. I’m no stranger to being entombed. Minutes compared to a lifetime is-” Cleo stopped herself. Why was she talking about that to him? Oh my Ra not even the Ghouls know about that. And they never will! Nope! Not having that conversation. No one needed to know the Great Cleo’s history of being stuck in a tomb for thousands of years, against her will. How she only had her father’s constant preaching and how Nefera would switch between kindness and cruelty. And wondering where her mother was, or if she was even alive. All of this for thousands of years...

Deuce heard the shift in her voice. Her eyes were down at her phone again, she was browsing the monster web. Whatever happened, it made her not want to talk anymore. For Cleo to end her monologues, it had to be bad. So he took the initiative. “Being trapped in a pyramid? Got to be rough, but like, at least your safe there. From the people who hate you anyways. I’m happy you got out.”

Cleo’s heart fluttered slightly. She looked up from her phone again with an expression that Deuce could stare at all day. “I guess I was safe there. Can’t exactly say from people who hate me. I’ve got the older sister who, oh my Ra, could make the dark seem inviting!”

“The dark?” Deuce asked.

“Uh well, y-you know pyramids aren’t the best places for light and after the first 2 thousand years we ran out of torches and oil. The sun doesn’t reach every room either! So sometimes there were just pitch black rooms.” Cleo stumbled on her words, trying to explain to Deuce that she wasn’t afraid of the dark. She could enjoy nighttime, but not dark rooms, but who had to know that? Not him! So why did she tell him? Where had her royal composure gone.

Deuce wasn’t the fastest snake in the grass, but he heard Cleo better than she thought. He gathered that she had been stuck in the pyramid for a very, very long time, that her older sister was a pain, and that Cleo didn’t like that dark. Deuce looked up at the sky. Stupid goggles. He could see that it was still light out, would Cleo be alright? What could he do for her?

“Alright! You keep drilling me for my past,” I have? Deuce wondered as Cleo’s accusatory finger held in the air “so I’ll tell you all about the fantastic history of my life.”

The silence was gone as Cleo rambled on, careful to obscure any information she didn’t want him to know. Deuce listened to her every word, her voice floating through the crisp, fall air.

Silence resumed when the two got to town. It wasn’t a far walk, but Deuce wondered how Gob did it. Gob hated exercise more than anyone Deuce knew, while true to his Grecian heritage, Deuce trained like an Olympian. It felt colder, he could tell he was starting to slow down. He worried more than ever about their cover being blown. He’d be useless to Cleo if he got any colder. Cleo’s eyes roamed the normies wandering about. There was slight fear, mixed with excitement. She didn’t want to be caught, she looked up to Deuce as she followed him. He’s slowing down. Worry and regret took over. What happens if they do get caught? Why had Cleo agreed to this when it was so cold? Ra! How could she have had such an oversight? a brightly lit window next to her caught her eye. “Cafe. HOT drinks.” She looped an arm through Deuce’s, his hands shoved into his hoodie’s pocket. He stopped, startled. He could feel his snakes move from the jolt of surprise.

“I’ve changed my mind, we’ll enjoy ourselves here.”

“Whoa. Alright, are you sure?” Deuce asked, silently begging her to confirm. The HOT drinks were needed, badly.

“Deuce, I am always sure about everything I do.” She said with an air of elegance. Deuce obliged, holding the door open for her. The warm air flowed outside, the two monsters in disguise were grateful for it.

Inside, was crowded. there was a line, people seated at nearly every table. Cleo was not impressed with the decor. Though beggars can’t be choosers, a DeNile can be whatever they want.

“You should go sit down and get yourself warmed up. I’ll order for us.” Deuce said, his voice was gentle and soothing. Much unlike this retro, outdated 50′s styled cafe.

“I want a Saiidi tea. That’s black tea. Extra spoons of cane sugar in addition to the norm, 1 spoon of whole milk.” She said, an angelic smile on her face as she waited for confirmation from Deuce. He took too long. “You won’t forget?”

“Nope! I got it, foods and drinks aren’t something I ever forget.” He raised his face out of his scarf to smile at her. A gesture she appreciated for a moment before yanking the scarf back up to cover his exposed fangs. A chuckle escaped from Cleo, shaking her head she turned to find a table.

But I don’t want to. They’re grimy, outdated, yellow stains on what were obviously white tables! Cracks in these leather seats...there’s duct tape on that one! Oh my RA! Deuce had better be fast, I can’t be caught undead in this place. Cleo looked back at him where he took his spot in line. Deuce was looking at her, he waved shyly. Well, it won’t be too bad. it’s just for awhile anyways. Cleo mustered up her confidence and walked to an empty table, away from the window. She noticed the eyes of Normie boys on her as she walked, so did Deuce. His snakes hissed slightly. Those bros wouldn’t know how to handle her if they dared try to speak with her, even a hello would steam roll them. Deuce felt eyes boring into his back. He turned around slowly, and looked down. A small boy was staring up at him, eyes as wide as saucers. The two stared at each other for awhile before the child spoke.

“Did your hat just move and hiss?” He asked quietly.

Oh boy. That’s not good. I’ve got to come up with a good reason, something this kid will believe. If he doesn’t drop this, people will notice, then Cleo and I will be in trouble. I’ve got to answer him. “No.” Deuce said and turned around.

Cleo cringed when the seat puffed its musty air upwards as she sat. She pulled out her phone to give the Ghouls back home an update. She glanced up periodically, keeping an eyes on Deuce. He was ordering now, finally. She resumed her texting frenzy. Frankie was the worrywart. Draculaura wanted updates in extreme detail, Clawdeen kept giving advice on how to take care of herself if the normies found out but it was mostly to tease Frankie, Lagoona was extremely interested in the tea Cleo had ordered. All of the Ghouls were such great help, but none of them could warn Cleo about the dark figure who stood by the table. Sensing their presence, Cleo looked up. She could see their face. They were completely covered in dark clothing, not even a hair to be seen. Cleo’s hair, stood up on the back of her neck. She considered screaming for Deuce, something was wrong.

The figure spoke. Cleo could tell they were making their voice deeper and gravely on purpose. “Aren’t you Cleo DeNile?”

“Of course!” She said smugly. Oh my Ra no. No, no! I shouldn’t have confirmed it. Who are they?

She saw teeth, smiling. She saw the fangs, the dead skin and illuminated eyes. She finally heard the Hispanic accent, but it was too late.

“Monsters!! Help!” Moanica screamed at the top of her lungs as her long nails ripped Cleo’s shirt, exposing her mummy wraps.

[aeternallis]

Title: Amidst the Fields of Blood and Sunflowers

Series: Owari no Seraph Pairing: Hyakuya Mikaela x Hyakuya Yuuichirou Rating: M (18+) Summary: Throughout his entire life, Hyakuya Yuuichirou's world has always been filled with magic, mythical beasts and monsters, and the dark arts. A mysterious, dark hero protecting the City from villains and traitors alike, Yuu is a solitary figure who steadily bears the heavy burden of maintaining peace and justice.

Standing faithfully by his side is his one true friend, Mikaela. A treasured companion, Mika is the only one in the entire world who knows of the true nature of his beloved hero's morbid, disturbing power...and how its very existence subtly threatens to shatter all that they hold dear.

Superhero!AU / Modern AU / One-shot

A BIG SHOUT OUT TO MY BETA READER, @sayoishungry​ ! Love you, bby~

A late present for @icyghostllama !! <3<3<3<3 I’m so sorry for the lateness of this gift, but I hope you like it!!

AO3

In the distance, they could hear the scurrying of shoes nervously clamoring against the weather-beaten cobblestones, their harsh breaths echoing loudly within the vicinity of the lonely, empty streets. As they ran off without a second thought, a stream of blood dripped from a gash on their elbow trailing behind them unnoticed, the small droplets looking like ruby-colored breadcrumbs, so much in a state of panic they were in that they'd left themselves wide open and vulnerable.

From his vantage point, Yuuichirou could easily detect the scent of the perpetrator's blood, as powerful as the aroma of the dampness of the earth, and he curled his hands unconsciously in frustration, clenching his teeth and cursing inwardly. The bastard had terrible timing; he'd been looking forward to a relaxing, leisurely walk with Mikaela on the way to school, and the last thing he'd wanted was to be bombarded by a rogue assailant.

He licked his lips, peaking out from the alleyway that he and Mika were both hidden in as he mentally calculated how long it would take until the scent of blood would begin to waft away. His eyes narrowed, letting out a small gasp when he realized instinctively that there was something unusual about the smell, as if the blood had been laced with...something, a chemical of some sort that he didn't recognize. Next to him, he could sense his friend shaking in anxiousness, and Yuu squeezed his hand in reassurance, giving him a small smile, before turning to look back towards the empty roads.

It was barely morning, and a thick fog blanketed the City like a silver gauze, creating a dream-like environment in which anything and everything could be made possible within its haunting ambiance.

"Stay here, Mika. I won't be gone too long..." Yuuichirou murmured close to his ear, his voice barely above a whisper. He held his shoulder for a moment, his fingers tightening, before quietly moving away, running stealthily towards the direction of where the perpetrator had went.

Mikaela held his breath for a long time after Yuuichirou had disappeared, a bead of sweat rolling down his chin as he gulped in nervousness, his body still frozen in shock. His face had gone fish-belly pale, and his throat felt achingly parched, his cerulean eyes still wide in fear. Trying his hardest to snap out of it, he blinked once, twice...before letting out a deep breath, allowing the tension to slowly ease away from his body.

The blond stared at the ground, trying to calm his nerves and keep himself together. He held both of their school bags close to his chest, his knuckles stark white while he forced his hands to loosen their grip. After a few minutes of getting his bearings together, he leaned against the brick wall wearily, his blond locks clinging against the rough grooves of the hard surface.

Just a little bit more...a little bit more, and he'll be ready to follow him. A few more minutes passed him by undisturbed, until Mikaela pushed himself off of the wall, slinging his backpack behind him while he carried Yuu's bag in his other hand. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he walked back out into the open and looked straight ahead.

Intending to quickly find Yuuichirou, he strode steadily on the sidewalk, trying to keep his gaze forward, his ears peeled for any noise or indication as to where his friend could have gone off to. Like his friend, he'd seen how wounded the criminal had been, the way his footsteps had staggered, his body swaying in panic while he felt someone's eyes bearing down on him. Mika was sure that he couldn't have gone very far, what with a bleeding arm and Yuu already hot on his trail.

He'll find them soon enough.

Keeping his guard up, he touched the medium-sized survival knife he kept tucked underneath his shirt before he continued on, his head carefully darting in all directions, his senses alert. He was not the skilled fighter that Yuuichirou was, nor was he educated in any particular fighting style, but if needed, he could hold out on his own against an average fighter. Mika knew to himself that at the very least, he was agile and quick on his feet, so if anything, he'll be a minimum hindrance to his friend.

As he walked on, he lifted his head towards the skies, his expression wistful.

The City, with its towering skyscrapers and impenetrable walls of steel and concrete, was unlike anything the world had ever seen...that's how the local governor has described it once or twice, anyway. Within this jungle of metal beams and modern technology, cell phones and fast-talking entrepreneurs, it was almost as if he and Yuuichirou were out of place somehow, their worn, secondhand jackets and threadbare school bags standing out like a sore thumb amidst the designer purses and sleek automobiles that would soon fill the streets in all its luxurious finery.

The City that Yuuichirou protected on a daily basis certainly knew and understood its preferred inhabitants quite well, and Mikaela couldn't help but let out a sardonic smile as he stared at the ground, his nose wrinkling at the distinct, rotten smell of sewage underneath the roads.

While they were by no means poor, this was a part of the town that they didn't traverse in too often. Their usual route to school was partly by bus from their small apartment to the edge of the City, then a twenty-minute walk heading north where the school stood a couple hundred feet from the nearby lake. He'd already seen a couple of his classmates driving past him, their drivers blank-faced and obedient; it would get crowded around this area soon, and the thought just made him feel all the more weary.

Yuuichirou wouldn't want to draw attention to himself, so it was best he find him soon. He sped up, running at a brisk pace. The road he was currently on were lined with posh apartment buildings, numerous spas, and designer boutiques, their price tags enough to make him weep internally. The scene of a crime was certainly out of place here as well...certainly, he needed to find his friend quickly.

A couple feet away, Mika distinctively heard gurgled cry of pain and agony, and he quickly made his way towards its direction, readying himself to draw the knife if necessary. He stopped just in time to see the perpetrator kneeling on the ground, mists of red and black surrounding his body. Mikaela's eyes widened at the scene and quickly hid himself away from sight, his back pressed against a wall as he looked on, his gaze wincing.

From where he stood, Yuuichirou stood solemnly, his hand held out as he concentrated on keeping the enemy on his knees, his eyes glowing bright red. The other man's throat constricted, and he choked in his own blood and vomit as he threw up on the pavement, the hood of his jacket falling away to reveal his pointed ears and cropped, silver hair. The copper-colored chain dangling from his neck was too recognizable for either boys to consider anything else.

Mikaela let out a stunned gasp. It was a vampire...!

A million thoughts ran inside his head as he considered the possibilities. How could a rogue vampire be roaming around here in the City, when the Moon Demon Company kept them under strict surveillance?! Ichinose Guren was thoroughly meticulous about the vampires they kept for experimentation, so for a vampire inmate to have escaped under his jurisdiction...

Mika was startled out of his thoughts when he abruptly heard the last of the vampire's breath fade away, his corpse collapsing on the ground in a lifeless heap. His body had become merely brittle and bones, almost like a dried raisin, his face contorted in torment. His fangs stuck out of his mouth, the edges of his teeth coated in some strange, black substance. As a passing thought, the blond reminded himself that he would need to ask Yuuichirou about it later.

A few feet away, Yuu stood motionless, his eyes blank as the bright scarlet of his pupils faded away into its customary green color.

For a moment, Mika stood still, his hands clenched.

"I know you're there. Come out now, it's safe," Yuuichirou called out to him, his voice sounding oddly concerned. Taking a deep breath, Mikaela came out of his hiding place and slowly walked over to where his friend stood, the backpack weighing him down slightly. He watched as the vampire's corpse shattered into sand and dust, leaving only his prison uniform behind.

"I told you to stay put, didn't I?" There was a slight accusatory tone in Yuu's voice, and for a moment, Mikaela felt his annoyance spike, his mouth pouting in self-indignation. "Why did you follow me?"

"As if I could leave you to yourself, idiot," Mikaela retorted back, before tossing the backpack towards the other boy, the swing of his arm a little too hard for either of them to not have noticed.

Yuuichirou let out a light chuckle at that, before his expression became serious once more, his gaze narrowing towards the ground. "I mean it, though. Why did you follow me—I...you know I hate it when you see me like this."

He shook his head, scratching his temples. Without a second thought, Mika took out a handkerchief from inside his pocket, and moved closer to the other boy, gently bringing the cloth to wipe away the faint traces of blood that had somehow landed on his cheek. Yuuichirou tried to protest at first, but the blond was having none of it, his gaze gentle and unassuming.

"I'm used to it by now, you know. Why are you so afraid?" Mikaela probed him cautiously, his voice coming out as a whisper. He brought the cloth to his lips for a mere second, before laying it flat against Yuu's own mouth, making the latter blush at the indirect kiss. "I know you would never—"

"Don't you feel weird by all this?! How could you take all of this so calmly...?!"

At the sudden outburst of his friend, Mika couldn't help but take a step back, his eyes blinking in confusion. For a split second, Yuuichirou could only heave, his breaths coming out in short pants as he held Mikaela's eyes in a blind panic, before he remembered himself once more, his mouth clamping shut as his gaze slid back down on the ground again, his eyes filled with anguish. "I'm...sorry..."

He was trembling, his frame looking vulnerable and child-like. For all the strength his body boasted of, his mind was as fragile as a newborn babe's, the mire of his thoughts all too often descending in a maze of negativity and depression. For a moment, Mikaela wanted nothing more than to hold him close, to comfort him and keep away his insecurities.

Neither one spoke another word for a short while, before the blond moved closer to him once more, bringing a hand to gently caress his cheek, his thumb drawing circles underneath Yuu's eye. He shook his head in determination and encouraged Yuuichirou to lift his face, those nervous, emerald-colored eyes meeting blue. "That must've taken a lot out of you... Why don't we just go home?"

"I'm fine, I can make it to school," he responded stubbornly, wiping away his eyes for any signs of unshed tears. "An investigator from the JIDA should be here soon, I already contacted them. Let's go."

He took a step forward, intending on passing Mika by, but his body felt like a dead weight, and his knees buckled from underneath him, a rush of dizziness suddenly invading his vision. He felt himself falling to the ground, the sky and the road blurring as his world spun in circles, his head swaying, before a pair of steady arms caught him from behind, his backpack sprawled out on the ground as its contents spilled out.

"No...you're not fine," Mikaela scolded him sternly, quietly lowering him on the pavement while he gathered his things together, helping him sling the school bag on his back. After he was sure that his friend could stand up once more, he helped him stand up, draping Yuu's arm over his neck as he he wrapped a hand around the latter's waist, steadying him. "Come on, let's go home."

Yuuichirou moaned in protest, but said nothing else, allowing the blond to assist him the rest of the way. The path home wouldn't take too long. Just a couple of blocks away there was a bus stop nearby that they could use to ride back towards the edge of the city. From there the walk home is not too far, but just in case, there were benches along the way, should Yuu need to rest.

Nodding resolutely, Mika began his treck, not bothering to give a second glance at the heap of clothes that had once belonged to a vampire.

The walk home was slower than usual, as expected. Yuuichirou ran out of breath from merely trying to keep up with Mika's lengthy strides, perspiration rolling down the back of his neck. The heat of the spring afternoon was bearing down on both of them, and at one point, he'd taken off his jacket, letting it drag on the ground as he held it in his hand, uncaring of the dust that stained the dark blue blazer of their school uniform.

Catching the rogue vampire had been a lot more difficult than he'd originally anticipated, and he'd expended more power than necessary in trying to subdue him, to the point that he had lost almost all of his energy for the day. Inwardly, he cursed, despising his weakness.

"Don't be such a grouch, we're almost there," Mika reminded him softly, sensing his friend's dark mood. He continued at their brisk pace, his mind drifting off as he quietly admired the sunflowers that lined their path home. It was an unusual sight, against the backdrop of steel buildings and pristine glass windows, but their lovely, calming scent assuaged the headache that had been beginning to form in his temples.

It was moments like these that he knew Yuuichirou preferred to be left alone with his own thoughts (although he did nothing to push the blond away). It was a sort of recuperating process that his brain automatically went through each and every time he defeated an enemy, lamenting at how tired he was at using his power, at needing the time to fully recover before he was ready to go at it again. Although he possessed of otherworldly powers that have yet to be fully explained, there was only a limit as to what his all too human body could bear.

Yuuichirou cursed his own weaknesses as much as he did his powers. Because of this, more than anything else, Mika's heart broke for him.

As they neared the the small apartment building, Mika grabbed his keys out of his pocket, making sure to lean Yuuichirou against the wall for a moment while he opened the door. When they got inside, Yuu collapsed on the sofa, his head rolling back to lean against the soft cushions, letting out a breath of relief. Mikaela couldn't help but stare at him, his eyes filled with compassion and sadness. He stood up, putting away their school bags on the corner of the table, preparing to make some tea for his friend.

While he put water on the stove to boil, he grabbed a small mechanical reader from inside his bag, studying it for a moment. Staring at the metal object, his gaze seemed whimsical, before he clicked on a button, his eyes narrowing as a miniature hologram spouted out of the reader in a bright array or letters.

Listed on the hologram was Yuuichirou's basic information, as listed on the JIDA database of its members. As he read through the file, his mouth formed a grim line when he looked at the blank space where it would have listed his powers and abilities.

The JIDA knew nothing of what his friend was capable of...all the more reason that Mika thought of them as their enemy. If they knew of Yuu's powers, they would surely find a way to use it to their advantage, if they haven't suspected it already. The blond knew that time was ticking away against them; it wouldn't be for long until they would have to escape from their supervision.

Looking at the empty space, Mika's mind filled in what could only be described within his thoughts: Yuuichirou was a hemomancer, born with the natural ability to control his own blood...and that of others. Whether it was draining it out of them, filling them with it, manipulating its chemical properties, rupturing the heart and lungs, changing the direction of its flows within the body...all this he was capable of.

A power as magnificent and imposing, as it is deadly. Mikaela often wondered at Yuu's strange ability; though he was in awe of his best friend, a small part of him couldn't help but be fascinated also. A morbid curiosity to be sure, but one he certainly couldn't get rid of.

He heard the kettle whistle, his mind broken out of its reverie. As he moved to turn off the stove, he felt a strange, but sharp tingle crawling up his spine, his cheeks flustering within seconds when he realized that the rush had felt oddly...pleasurable. Making sure the stove was properly turned off, he moved to the counter next to it, and leaned forward with his hands, his breath lightly panting.

From behind him, he heard Yuuichirou let out a small, weary chuckle, as if he were still half asleep. Mika turned his head, his face still burning.

"You're tired right now, to be using your power so quickly," Mikaela reprimanded him sternly, reaching up into one of the open cabinets to get the tea bags. "You should be laying down, rest—"

Abruptly, he felt another shiver of pleasure run up his back and this time, through the length of his arms, the tin can dropping on the counter with a loud clang, resounding throughout the entire room. The blond couldn't help but let out a loud gasp, his fingers grasping the surface for support as best as he could, his knees shaking. He shook his head, intending to shout something, anything towards Yuu, but his mind came up empty, before a third rush went towards the direction of his crotch.

Gulping at the onslaught of stimulation within his body, he slapped his hand against the cabinet to regain some measure of control, staggering towards the couch slowly. When he neared where his friend had been lounging about lazily, a cheeky smile on his face, the blond smacked him on the head comically, his teeth clenched.

"You idiot...! What was that for...?!" Mika cried out in light gasps, still clutching at his arms while his body twitched from its purposefully induced arousal.

Yuuichirou scratched the back of his head bashfully, leaning against the couch more comfortably, his pose the perfect image of relaxation and laziness. "I'm sorry...you just looked so tense, I couldn't help it."

He patted the spot right next to him, wordlessly inviting the blond. Mika's eyes narrowed in mock suspicion, his mouth pouting, before plopping down on the empty seat, his arms crossed. Quietly, Yuuichirou moved to close the gap between them, wrapping an arm around the other boy's shoulder, before it slid down to his waist, pulling him closer. Mikaela let himself be held, the tension in his body loosening while Yuu moved to place a soft kiss on his forehead.

Mika let out a sigh of contentment, closing his eyes peacefully. As he was about to lean his head against the other boy's shoulder, his body jolted once more as Yuuichirou's fingers wiggled in strange, circular motions, as if he were casting a spell, his mouth forming a coy smile while he buried his face in Mikaela's neck, inhaling his scent. The blond's hands immediately shot up to clutch at Yuu's other hand, but it was already too late. He could feel his friend's power coursing through him, rendering him weak and supple, at the mercy of Yuuichirou's control.

Mika's hands clenched. For Yuu to be using his power like this...! It was—it was absolutely mortifying for his part...!

In retrospect, it was quite rare for Yuu to do this sort of thing; in fact, he can count in his one hand how often his best friend has pleasured him like this, on those particular days when they both felt they badly needed each other's touch...and frankly, when they were just plain horny. Most of the time, Yuuichirou kept his power to himself, only using it when he was completing missions for the JIDA. He would be particularly self-conscious whenever he had a chance to use his abilities on the blond, simply for the fact that he was afraid of hurting him.

Even so, Mikaela had enough faith in him and his control over his strength. Whenever they would come together like this, he always encouraged the black-haired man to let go of his inhibitions, to explore the full capacity of his power. While he usually emboldened him, Mika admitted to himself that he was taken aback today; it was rare for Yuuichirou to use his power on him without some level of provocation taking place in the beginning.

Mika felt himself hardening, the crotch area of his pants suddenly feeling tight. As Yuuichirou carefully manipulated the blood inside of him, the vital fluid rushing between his legs while he released the endorphins into his blood stream, he shut his eyes tightly, a tear escaping his eyes. Mikaela whimpered, biting his lips to keep from groaning too loud.

Yuu's lips continued their onslaught on his neck, placing open-mouthed kisses all over his collarbone, beneath his chin. His lips traveled all across the side of his lover's face, turning his head so he could kiss him on the lips, their mouths coming together with a loud smack. Snaking his hand around, he unbuttoned the top two buttons of his friend's shirt, caressing his chest and playing with his nipples. At this, Mika couldn't help but break away from their kiss, his voice whining out loud.

"Yuu-chan, please...! You shouldn't be...ahh!" he moaned low in his throat, fighting the urge to reach down and jerk himself off. Before he could make another move however, Yuuichirou beat him to it, his fingers moving swiftly to unzip his pants, exposing him to the open air. He groped around the latter's waist for a brief moment, pulling out the sheathed survival knife that had been tucked away, casually flinging it on the table in front of them. It landed on the wooden surface with a loud clang, making Mikaela jump.

Yuuichirou gripped his length gently, squeezing experimentally before he slowly ran his index finger over the slit that oozed with pre-cum, inciting the blond to clench his teeth hard. His touch was so warm, almost searing, and that only made the pleasure even more intense as Mika's back arched against the seat, his heel lifting off of the floor.

His heart was thumping loudly against his rib cage, and he felt as if his body was on fire, drowning in a sea of euphoria and the heady, natural scent of Yuu's skin. Opening his eyes, he turned his head to see Yuuichirou grinning, looking down at his hardened nipples, his fingers continuously flicking and pulling at them. His eyes were a swirl of carmine and gray, his own cheeks flushed in excitement as he licked his lips unconsciously.

"Ahh...ahhh...!"

"Shhh..." Yuuichirou cooed gently in his ear, his voice low and seductive. "Don't fight it. You like this, don't you...?"

Mikaela nodded his head in admission, but still opening his mouth regardless in order to protest. He was unable to say anything however, as Yuuichirou slipped his tongue past his lips, encouraging him to play. Aroused as Yuu made him feel, Mika couldn't help but follow along the movements of his friend's lips, their tongues swirling together as a few more tears slid down to his chin, staining his pants. His hands loosened their grip on Yuu's fingers, opting instead to dig his palms on the cushion of their couch.

Their kiss was drugging, all thoughts flying out of Mika's head as he let himself be overwhelmed, the heat of Yuuichirou's power almost too unbearable for him. His friend's hands were gently moving up and down now, his hands steadily increasing their pace. Feeling bold, Mika lifted his feet off the floor, planting them on the couch while he spread his legs wider, his position utterly lewd and obscene.

Yuuichirou unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, wanting to touch the slim planes of Mika's abs, his sensitive navel. Saliva dripped down his chin, sensing that it was time to break their kiss soon, the both of them breathing through their noses at that point. Reluctantly, he parted from him, concentrating on getting Mika off, his eyes having darkened into a beautiful, rich burgundy color. His hand was pumping fast, his fingers wet and relentless as more pre-cum oozed out of Mika's cock.

A salacious, dirty squelching sound echoed in their small living room from Yuu's ministrations, with nothing else being heard but their low breaths, their excited panting and huffing. Yuuichirou growled, his throat groaning as he licked Mika's cheek, unaware of the tears that had escaped his own eyes.

"Please...please don't ever leave me..." Yuu begged in desperation, the movement of his hand becoming more and more frantic. "Don't abandon me...I couldn't bear it..."

Mikaela's mouth opened in silent abandon as his eyes snapped open, tears welling up at the intensity of Yuu's pleas. Unable to help himself, he replied without thinking, the words coming out of his mouth before he even understood what he was saying. "No, never--!"

"Don't leave me alone with this curse, I need you by my side...!"

Mikaela shook his head vehemently, his mouth quivering as he felt his orgasm coming within seconds. Yuu's hand felt so good, so damned incredible, his voice choking out loud while he wrapped both of his arms around Yuu's neck, pulling him in even closer. "No, I will never leave you...!"

So close, he was so close!

"Mika...my Mika...! I'm the only one that could make you feel like this..."

"Ahhh...ahhh, Yuu-chan...!" he cried out, as his orgasm violently ripped itself out of him, his cum gushing forth and coating Yuuichirou's hand in rivulets of white. His body shook from the force of his climax, his limbs jerking as the blood inside of him roared to life for a few more wonderful, heavenly seconds, rendering him helpless. His expression dazed, he couldn't say anything when Yuu brought his hand close to his lips, licking them clean, before placing another kiss on the blond's forehead, his lips lingering lovingly.

As Yuuichirou held him close to his chest, cradling his form tightly against his, Mika couldn't help but turn his head towards the window, his usually sharp eyes unfocused, dim as the color of cobalt. Without a doubt, he probably had a silly, far away look on his face, but at that moment, he couldn't have cared less. His lips curved in a soft, bittersweet smile, and faintly, he thought to himself how from their apartment, he could smell the faint aroma of the sunflowers by the roadside.

If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! ^^

[operationrainfall]

Title Wargroove Developer Chucklefish LTD Publisher Chucklefish Release Date February 1st, 2019 Genre Strategy Platform PC, PS4, Switch, XBox One Age Rating E for Everyone 10+ – Fantasy Violence Official Website

In some ways, I’ve been waiting on Wargroove for over a decade. After Intelligent Systems gave up on Advance Wars in 2008, I was ready to write that style of tactical series off. But then a new company decided to pick up the torch and start running with it. That group was Chucklefish, one I admit I was not that familiar with. But after seeing all the Wargroove coverage for the past year and change, I suspected I had reason to be excited. After buying the game, I wanted to spend sufficient time engaged in order to offer a deep analysis of the experience. The question then, was Chucklefish able to do justice to the legacy of Advance Wars? The answer is mostly yes, with some provisos.

One of the biggest differences between Wargroove and Advance Wars is stylistic. While Advance Wars was set in a sort of fictional modern military scenario, Wargroove is set in a medieval fantasy realm. So we traded our tanks and bombers for dragons and golems. I personally didn’t mind that change at all, since I love fantasy, and with any tactical game my primary focus is the gameplay. Having said that, there was another hoop that Wargroove needed to leap through if it wanted to prove itself the successor to Advance Wars, and that was the storytelling. Thankfully, Chucklefish proved they understood the need for levity in their series, much like in the one they patterned themselves after. Just enough to keep things light and fun. Some of my favorite examples are how the canine Commander, Caesar, does doggy things like roll over and scratch himself during battle, or how infuriated the energetic patchwork valkyrie, Ragna, becomes. There is a lot of humor and chuckle-worthy moments in the game, but not enough to remove any sense of drama.

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As with any strategy game, it’s important that Wargroove is tight and well-balanced. Thankfully, that is very much the case. Each faction, from Cherrystone to Floran to Heavensong to Fellheim, has access to the exact same units, so nobody is inherently overpowered. This is actually a step up from Advance Wars, where the choice of Commander could drastically change the inherent utility of certain units. While it’s true that the names for units varies from faction to faction, they are completely the same. For example, the Cherrystone dragon units are red hued Emberwings, while the Fellheim variant are the insidious Fellbats. Both play the same and are equally strong, they just have very different designs. Another thing that’s nice is the sense of balance between various units. You will find ground, aerial and sea units in the game. There is nothing in the game that’s unstoppable, so long as you have the right unit to counter it. Take the dragons for example. While they are powerful and capable of annihilating weaker units, they are also incredibly susceptible to anti-air units, such as Alchemists and Ballistae. Furthermore, each unit in the game has their own conditions under which they deal critical damage. For example, the Spearmen do extra damage when arranged in a phalanx adjacent to other Spearmen, while Alchemists do extra damage when their defense is boosted by terrain. There’s a lot of interaction and complexity to keep note of, and though the game does a good job of explaining it, it’s easy to forget some of the smaller details. While you can see a display showing which units are powerful and weak to other units, currently it’s a bit hard to read, mostly because they show tiny pixelated headshots of the units. Keeping in mind the visual differences between factions, this is a bit hard to decipher. Thankfully, Chucklefish have announced they are aware of this problem and intend to fix it with a more clear visual display.

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Since there are no tanks or planes, there is also no need to worry about depleting amounts of gasoline powering them in Wargroove, so you can always move a unit without worrying about it being stranded due to not having enough fuel. Though there is one element in the game that is completely absent from Advance Wars – Commander units. While it’s true the AW series did have Commanders who could use their powers to save the day, they were never physically on the field. That is not the case in Wargroove. While you won’t have a Commander unit in every mission of Campaign mode, they will be there for most of them, which is important for a couple reasons. For one, if your Commander dies, you lose the mission. For another, they have access to powerful Grooves that can change the tide of battle. I really like how tactics are dictated by the Commanders in the game. Their Grooves charge up as they battle, and once full, Commanders can unleash them at will. Thankfully, though the Grooves are powerful, they aren’t overpowered. They all have an area of effect, and the more powerful ones take longer to charge. Some examples are Mercia’s Healing Aura, which heals units around her, or Ragna’s Shield Bash, which lets her jump into foes, damaging them. It still takes good tactical strategy to win, and though the Commanders are sturdier than most units, they’re far from invincible. If they get surrounded, they will usually fall to a wall of steel and sorcery. To help balance things out, Commanders do heal a small amount of health each turn, around 10% of their max HP.

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One thing I really liked about Wargroove is how you’re constantly unlocking things. As you beat stages, you’ll unlock lore about Commanders, and by beating optional side missions you’ll unlock Commanders in other modes. Additionally, whenever you beat a mission in Campaign mode, you’ll be rewarded with up to 3 stars depending on how efficiently you played. These aren’t just for show. You’ll need 100 of them to unlock the true final mission in Campaign mode. While I managed to beat that mode in about 25 hours, it took at least that long again to get all those required stars for the best ending. This is because you can’t get enough stars by perfectly beating each mission in Campaign mode. You’ll also need to get them by playing the other two main modes in the game – Arcade and Puzzle.

Get Groovy on Page 2 ->

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Arcade mode has you pick a Commander and then succeed in a series of 5 maps against other Commanders. You can choose from different difficulties, and the harder you pick, the more stars you get. It’s a pretty basic mode, but it’s a fun time waster. To keep things fresh, the maps you play will be randomly shuffled each game, and there’s a pretty good variety. The only downside is some of the maps are more frustrating than others, so don’t feel badly about giving up and trying again, hoping for a better set. Puzzle mode is far simpler, but also more tricky. You’re presented with a map and a single turn to accomplish a set objective. Typically, this is beating the enemy Commander or destroying their Stronghold, but some will also involve tasks like getting a certain unit to safety. I enjoyed the mental exercise here, since Puzzle mode lives up to its moniker and requires some careful thinking to succeed. You won’t be able to overpower your foe, you instead need to carefully use the limited tools at your disposal. The only downside to this mode is that beating any map only rewards you with one star, whereas in both Campaign and Arcade, you’ll get at least a couple stars each time. But there’s one more mode we need to discuss – the Create mode.

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I remember loving the user created content in Advance Wars, and not only is that back here, but it’s more involved. You can create and share a variety of maps from scratch, customizing the terrain and setting units and decorations where you please. You can also play with toggles like weather and fog of war. Hell, you can even decide how much money you get from allied buildings, which is typically set to 100 per turn. I enjoyed the wealth of options here, and only really had a couple complaints. One, I wanted an in-game FAQ or tutorial to explain the nuances of this mode. Though making a map was mostly intuitive, setting up things like win conditions was less so. For example, I was unable to set my opponent as an AI, meaning that when I tried to test my stage, I was forced to alternate between playing as both Commanders. I also wish this mode was built with styluses in mind. It’s a bit irritating to have to move the cursor around an entire map to select things. I know the Switch wasn’t made with stylus play in mind, and I know Wargroove isn’t only available on that console, but I fervently wish Chucklefish would bring innovative solutions to issues like this for each version of the game. While it’s not life or death, the whole point of user created content is making it approachable, easy to use and understandable. Hopefully they will fix some of these complaints in a future update. Until they do, I likely won’t be creating many stages, and certainly won’t be monkeying around with the Campaign creator, mostly cause I like fully understanding such things before I get drawn deep into them.

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So now that we’ve established the basics, I feel I should spend a little time on the story of the game. The very first mission has you controlling the vampire Sigrid as she murders her way through Cherrystone Castle, ending with the death of the King. This sets the kingdoms of Fellheim and Cherrystone at war, and the young Queen-to-be Mercia is utterly overwhelmed. She is quickly ousted from her own kingdom and sets out to find allies to fight the Fellheim hordes, along with her trusty companions – the wizard Emeric and her armor clad canine, Caesar. Along the way they will meet many colorful people and nations, and will learn the dire truth behind the actions that precipitate the game. Though it’s not all that complex, it was interesting enough to hold my attention. This was because the world of the game is compelling, and especially the Commanders that populate it. My only real complaint is that I wanted to know more, more about the Commanders and their past, more about the kingdoms, and more about the lore. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great start, but it also felt a bit underdeveloped at times. But hopefully the success of Wargroove means we’ll get sequels that allow the world to be fleshed out even further.

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A mark of success for any tactical game is how intuitive and streamlined it is, and I’m happy to say Wargroove does a pretty good job of it. There are nice touches such as pressing the L trigger to switch between active units or holding B to skip past battle animations and unit movement. It’s relatively effortless to bring up a display of all the units, check their status or just look at the map. However, there are also a couple areas that the game fell short. Namely, a few glitches I encountered in my playthrough, most revolving around the save feature. One time I beat a level, it auto saved, and when I returned to the game I was in the previous level. Another time, in the final stage, I saved at the very start of the battle, exited, and when I came back my units had moved and somehow the boss, who was supposed to be at the opposite side of the map, was right next to me. Lastly, one time, I had a glitch force me back to the home screen. Thankfully, when I went to play the game again, I hadn’t lost any progress. On the irritating side of the spectrum, I wish the game would let you skip the credits that play every time you beat Arcade mode. I also wish the AI was a bit smarter. It’s not idiotic, but it’s pretty easy to fake out. For example, I quickly found that AI units inexplicably fixate on Wagons, even when they’re empty, which I used to my advantage to distract them. The worst example of AI is how the Commander named Greenfinger is completely unable to use his own Groove effectively. But, assuming Chucklefish can resolve those save issues, they can ignore most of my other complaints.

Visually, Wargroove is fantastic. Not only does it ape the style from Advance Wars, it also adds many of its own bells and whistles. The pixelated artwork for each unit and character is fluid and colorful, and that goes double for the Commanders. I especially like the 2D portraits that display their reactions during battle, ranging from gleeful to dismayed. It’s also nice how each faction’s units are totally different looking, and have unique looking animations. The Floran infantry scuttle low to the ground, while the Heavensong charge fearlessly into battle, swords at a jaunty angle. My absolute favorite animation is probably how Greenfinger scatters seeds that quickly grow into his flora steed before he rides it into combat. But the game doesn’t just have great art, it also has catchy music. Each Commander has their own theme, and though I don’t love them all equally, there are several earworms. Having said that, I do feel that the music here is a bit inferior to that in Advance Wars. I can still hear songs from that game when I think about it, and it was just blissful rock and roll. But there is one area the sound design eclipses Advance Wars, and that’s how there’s a small bit of voice acting for the Commanders. It’s just a nice touch that adds even more personality to the eclectic cast of characters.

All in all, I was pretty pleased with Wargroove. Not only did it satisfy my nostalgia for Advance Wars, it expanded my expectations in wonderful ways. Best of all, it’s a super affordable package, only costing $19.99 for at least 20+ hours of content (though far more if you want to see everything). Yes, there are still some important kinks to iron out, but I can’t help but recommend this to fans of Advance Wars and tactical games in general. And if you find it too easy, you can always challenge yourself by trying your luck against other players. If you need a new strategy obsession on every major console, do yourself a favor and pick this up.

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”4.5″]

Review Copy Purchased by Author

REVIEW: Wargroove Title Wargroove

[shatteredskies042]

NaNo Day 11

“What do you mean, Ally?” Michael asked, holding the sword and inspecting the weapon. It had no weight, and fit his hand perfectly, forged exactly for him, it seemed.

“This isn’t really the place for this kind of conversation,” she said, before looking at the tomb she had been in front of earlier. “It’s good to see you again, old friend,” she said with a small smile, before she looked at Michael and walked to him. “Let’s go, shall we?” she asked, before she closed her eyes and another swirling portal opened next to them.

Michael did not question her, or it, and stepped through the rift. He had another battle with nausea in the pitch darkness, before he came out the other side. The room was familiar, the place she had taken him after their meeting in London.

“Welcome home, Michael,” the blonde said, walking past him with a smile. The room was fairly large and bright, wood floors and stone brick walls. Michael looked around, this half of the room seemed to be a lounge of some sort, with couches and chairs and tables scattered around, a number of them arrayed around a large brick fireplace. Light spilled in from large windows, casting large bright pools onto the immaculate flooring. The room was bisected by a hallway, and two sets of stairs led up to another level.

Allyson walked away from him and walked to a kitchen at the other end of the room. “Here, take a seat,” she told him, waving to a bar on the outside of the open kitchen. Michael followed her advice and strode to the combined kitchen and dining area, impressed with the setup and the massive table that could seat a battalion. The countertops were a bright quartz, with intricate natural patterns swirling through them. Michael sat on one of the stools, plush red seats absorbing his weight as he inspected the kitchen. Amazingly, modern appliances covered the space, bright stainless steel around another sizable island. If this was to be his new home, he was already impressed. He was a pretty good cook, he liked to think, so he could put the space and facilities here to good use. There was tons of natural light seeping into the room from both windows and a double set of french-style doors.

“Quite a setup,” Michael noted as he watched Allyson gracefully walk around the kitchen. He set his pistol on the countertop, followed by the sword. In the light, he could see some of the more finer details of the latter, from the grooves that ran down the body of the blade, to the almost pearl shaped pommel and counterweight. He knew little about swords, and never had used one in his life, but he felt an attachment to the strange weapon.

“I know you’ve got a lot of questions,” Ally said, graceful fingers manipulating a high end coffee maker. “This place can be your home, if you want. I would suggest it, it’s much safer living here than it is anywhere else,” she promised, pulling away from the machine to lean her elbows on the counter in front of him, looking up at Michael. “But you want to know what you’ve gotten into,” she stated with a grin tugging at the edge of her lips, having read his mind.

“Everything you’ve told me is very confusing,” he admitted, finally coming off the adrenaline rush of battle and feeling his energy decline. He leaned on the counter like she did, watching the blonde as the coffeemaker bubbled.

“I agree, it is,” she nodded. “Michael, you’re now part of a world you never knew existed. How much fiction do you read?” she wondered, “specifically, fantasy?”

“Not much,” he revealed, “don’t have a lot of time and I was never too interested in it,” Michael said.

Ally nodded, shifting her head as she thought about how to explain his new reality, “those tall tales you’ve heard, stories to scare kids, most of them are true,” she told him, pulling away and walking to the coffeemaker. “Witches, vampires, werewolves, zombies to an extent,” she listed as she listened to it bubble and steam, filling the carafe with dark liquid.

“Angels,” Michael added, looking at her, and drawing a look from over her shoulder.

“Technically, I’m a fallen angel,” Allyson clarified, “but yes, angels and demons exist too. As does Heaven and Hell. A whole other world exists within yours, very well hidden,” she promised.

Michael contemplated, absorbing the information as he watched her. It was almost too absurd to believe, but he had to think about what had just happened: he had explored an unmarked ancient tomb, locked by a magical door, and been transported to some place by a fallen angel. “How does it stay hidden?” he asked.

“We’ve gotten very good at hiding,” she promised with a smile as she acquired coffee mugs from a cabinet. “If you passed me on the street like this, would you have known I was an angel?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “The vast majority look just like you, me, Joe and Jill Public. They hide their abilities and other traits when in plain sight, or they disappear.”

“Step out of line and get whacked,” he summarized. “Sounds like the mafia.”

“We’re better organized and managing than the mafia ever was,” she smiled proudly. “We’ve always been here, and all you’ve heard is preposterous legends and stories. The people who claim they’ve seen something supernatural are largely regarded as crazies, am I wrong?” she asked, pouring two mugs. She added cream and sugar to one, copious amounts, and in the other scoops of white chocolate. Michael furrowed his brow, how did she know how he liked his coffee?

“Then what’s my role?” he asked as she walked to him, and presented him with a steaming brown cup. “And how the hell do you know how I like my coffee?”

“Intuition,” she grinned at him as she boosted herself onto the island in the center of the kitchen and sat. “As for your role, you don’t quite have one yet. But by picking that sword up, you’ve entered it, and there’s no turning back. I suspect you’ll do the same thing you’ve been doing,” she said as she blew on her cup, cooling the liquid before taking a sip. “Stop the malcontents, keep bad things from happening, just like you’ve done before.”

Again, Michael furrowed his brows at her, but before he could ask, she cut him off. “The Archivist is a mutual acquaintance. I asked for your record and information after what happened in Canada,” she told him. She took another sip of her coffee, closing her eyes as she looked at him. “Your whole time in service has been impressive, not a single black mark. But it told me very little about who you really were. That I have to hear from the source,” she told him, watching the soldier closely.

Michael chuckled darkly at himself as she told him he had no stains on his record, maybe not there, but on his soul. “I’m a fighter, and I do the things I do because nobody else can do them. Because it’s the right thing to do,” he shook his head, not believing the hypocrisy spilling past his lips. He wasn’t noble, he’d killed the innocent. Feeling another wave of disgust wash over him, Michael stood up and walked away from the bar. “Where’s a bathroom?” he asked quickly.

“Down the hall, to the right,” she responded quickly, a concerned look crossing smooth features as he bolted out of sight. Ally followed, but only met a closed door. She pressed against the wall, listening through the door. The sounds seeping through the door were horrid, like he was throwing up. A concerned look came over her features, before she heard a cry and an impact, with the sound of glass breaking. She pulled back and returned to the kitchen, not wanting him to know that she was eavesdropping.

Michael returned a few minutes later, holding his hand and barely hiding his pain. “Sorry,” he said quietly, defeated. “If you’re looking for a hero, I’m not your guy,” he told her.

“Michael, part of my abilities as an angel is having enhanced senses,” she told him as he returned, watching him. “I smell the blood,” she promised, walking from the island and around the bar to him. She slowly took his hands, opening them and seeing his right hand cut and bleeding. “Why did you do that?” she asked, looking into his eyes with a soft expression, trying to convey warmth and caring to him. She started healing him again, a simple task with the simplicity of his wounds. However, her healing was only physical, she couldn’t repair whatever damaged lurked beneath his skin.

“Allyson, I’m not some hero. Maybe I was, but between London and now, things have changed,” he stated quietly, ashamed.

The blonde looked into his eyes, hating what she saw there: defeat, disgust, loathing, but not for her or anyone else, only for himself. “Michael, if you weren’t a good person, you could never have opened the door to Avalon. Or taken the sword,” she told him, “you might have made mistakes, but it doesn’t change who you are,” the blonde promised as she held to his hand. She had finished healing him, but she suspected he needed more than just his wounds to be closed. Physical touch was something she could use for that, something that she suspected he lacked.

“I’ve got innocent blood on my hands, and that’s not exactly the thing you can wash off with soap and water,” he told her pointedly.

“You’re not the only one,” Ally told him quietly, it was very easy to call her a monster if one knew even a fraction of the things she had done. “But I can tell something about you, I saw it in London and I see it now,” she told him, “you’re not one to run from the good fight. If somebody needs your help, you can’t deny it, it’s not who you are.” Her voice took a tougher turn, as she had to make sure he understood what she was to say next: “you can either accept and learn to live with your demons, or you can let them eat you up. You can leave and go wherever, and wait for death to come for you, or you can stand and fight and make a difference.”

Like clockwork, he opened his eyes and looked at her, “why, Ally? You don’t have a stake in me,” he told her, not knowing the truth.

“I don’t,” she lied, “but you’ve got work to do, and I need to get you ready for the threats that you’re going to face.”

Michael looked at her, still wonder in his eyes as a conflict raged in his mind. There was a silence, until he nodded, accepting her terms and her offer.

Allyson smiled widely and pulled away, “come on, I’ll show you around,” she told him, waving for him to follow her up the stairs. “This is actually the third level,” the blond told him, walking through the halls, until they reached a bank of doors. “Here,” she said, opening one of the further doors into a dark room. Michael stepped inside, finding a bedroom. A layer of dust covered everything, like it had sat empty for quite some time. “I’ll clean it up,” she promised, looking at him. “Do you have clothes or something stashed somewhere?”

Michael nodded as he walked through the small room, it was fairly simple: a queen-sized bed, nightstands and dressers, a fair sized closet and a desk. A secondary door led to a bathroom, again, a functional but stark affair. The soldier peeled back the curtains and glanced out the window, at the land outside. Part of the view was obstructed by the structure, but he had a breathtaking view of emerald forests and snow capped mountains.

“Where even are we?” he asked her, turning from the window to face the blonde leaning on the doorframe.

“Welcome to Goddess Island,” she smiled, “this place was officially known as the Goddess Island Institute for Huntsmen, but they’ve long been moved out of this place. As for where it is truly, it’s a good question,” she admitted. “I found this place in the sixties, there’s a small town close by, but this placed is protected by some kind of magic. It hides it from direct attack and sight, that’s the theory anyway, nobody has come after me to test it.”

“If I’m going to be living and working here,” he said, “how do I get my car here?”

The blonde shrugged, “I can make a portal large enough to jump a car through, but it takes a lot out of me,” she explained. “How important is this car?” she asked.

He responded with a deep breath, “it’s one of the last things I have to remember my father by,” he said simply.

Ally nodded, “I can make arrangements, then,” she promised, “what about clothes and the necessary things you need to live?” she asked.

“I’ve got some in my car, and some more in a storage unit.”

“Alright, let’s get your car first, then later we’ll get the things from storage,” she offered, to Michael’s nod. “Then I’ll give you more of a tour of this place. The Institute is large, but I only really use some of it,” she admitted.

Michael took off the vest and body armor he had been carrying and laid them on the dusty bed. “I last parked in DC,” he told her, “at Dulles airport.”

“I can make that work,” she promised with a smile, waving him out of the room as she conjured another portal. Again, Michael stepped through and dealt with the uncomfortable ride as he appeared in a dark house.  

Word Count: 21931