#trying to get back on the grind though
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Abigail Hobbs
#hannibal#abigail hobbs#i just finished season 1#but I got banned from watching it#trying to get back on the grind though#funni art
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Hey chat, I'm back 🧍🏻 And with a Treebros collab mwahahahaha (of that one meme)
Collab with my gf @devildarling08 💙 They drew Connor and I drew Evan, ofc. We had been wanting to do this one for like a few months now but just a week ago finally got ourselves to do it
Here's the full version of my drawing too 🤸🏻
I drew a ton of details in the background and didn't want them to be left unseen 🫶
#sorry for not posting for like two weeks 😔 I haven't been drawing as much#I'm trying to get back on the drawing grind though#I've got like four unfinished drawings rn so I'll try to finish them this week 🤸🏻#deh#dear evan hansen#deh fanart#dear evan hansen fanart#treebros fanart#treebros#treebros deh#convan#💙🖤#evan hansen#connor murphy#digital art#fanart#artists on tumblr
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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koish day
#touhou#koishi komeiji#my art#oughh june had a lot of touhou calendar prompts i wanted to do but i was hit by a bad art slump#i want to try and get back onto that grind though#anyways i like how this one turned out!#my art's never really felt 'finished' to me so i'm trying to get to that level#it'll take a bit more work i think but that's art for you
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it's literally not a good idea in any way shape or form but I want to get a second job in fast food
#it's not a good idea bc the wages are GARBAGE compared to retail#Macca's base rate for my age is less than half my sunday rate#and they don't get much beyond the base rate#whereas retail we have an incredible base rate AND more weekdays past 6pm and weekends (sat is the same as mon-fri 6pm#and sunday is significantly more)#and like yeah im not getting many shifts but if i were to ask for more I still wouldn't be able to work more than 4 hour shifts til july#bc my retail corporation is surprisingly ethical and extends the age limits by a lot#whereas my friend has a 7.5 half hour shift tomorrow AFTER school. on a week night 😁#which is actually horrifying and should nawwt be legal. thats school 9-3 (+20 min) then work 4-11:30 btw#like i should just wait til my birthday in july n ask for more shifts in retail but i want to try fast food#even though the pay is incredibly ridiculously bad (<10 AUD) (yes our adult minimum wage is a good ~23 but under 21 is a percentage of that#like the pay is so bad so i would earn the same or more doing wayy less hours than retail#but i kinda want to get the fast food experience bc it'll be more difficult to get hired as i age#bc i want to save up 20k for top surgery but at the rate im going it'll be difficult to have even thay#let alone savings after top surgery or money to get a car before#and as school gets more difficult it'll be harder to work more#so maybe i should just grind for a few months or til the end of the year then go back to retail exclusively?#and enjoy higher pay and some longer shifts?#but idkkk it's just such a dilemma bc i want more shifts than I'll get at retail but fast food pays so little#but i also really want the experience and to just try it out#im gonna. idk im gonna sit on it for a bit bc i want to get my legal name change sorted before i apply to any second jobs and that will#take a while#so i shall consider. draw up a timetable. write a pros and cons list#yes that sounds like a solid plan#whoop typo but im on mobile i meant 'wayy less hours IN retail'#oscar.exe
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Aw HELL YEAH, BABYYY
#what I have learned from this whole process are the worst synthesis mats to grind#honorary mention to Mythril Shards from the sheer amount#3rd place - Mystery Goo (annoying back and forth- getting crits is hard even with divine rose - their stone form sucks and how they group)#2nd place - Serenity Power (just takes so many attempts and precision)#1st place - Power Stone (those monkeys terrify me)#this now makes 2/3 possession of the Ultima Weapon in the mainline games! :D#KH2 is the only one left- gives me an excuse to play it again hehehe#gonna try to beat up some of the superbosses in KH1 first though#I've only attempted Sephiroth and the clock tower guy#I was doing okay at Sephiroth until he did his weird insta death move and then I stared at the screen like a gaping fish#clock tower guy I know you're supposed to cast stop on the clock but I have no idea how to actually damage the guy fndksks#so yeah wahoo here we go#kh1#kingdom hearts
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Firepox just doesn't have the same ring to it
Bonus:
#is this something#sorry if quality makes it hard to read#just looking thru some jesper chapters trying to make sure the quotes were right is causing me literal mental illness#also reminding me of inej and jesper's friendship and kaz and jesper's more messed up friendship and jesper and matthias's budding friendsh#which was cut tragically short#also reminding me how much less focus wylan gets in the series as a whole at the detriment of his character lol lol lol#saw the sticky notes i made for the bfwp my brain is back on the grind it has marinated i am ready to write this stupid fucking thing#if leigh bardugo won't write sufficient information about wylan then i fucking will#rn though jesper on my fucking brain.#jesper fahey#kaz brekker#six of crows#soc#tgt#six of crows memes#soc shitpost
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FUN FACT.
We may not know if the skylanders characters (especially kaos and glumshanks) have full names or not. But Spyro does have a middle name.
But Furyne? Furyne might have a full name. Let's just say its...
Felicity "Furyne" Felidae
#Skylanders oc#skylanders#furyne#but yeah what is kaos' last name anyway even though his first name might be steve?#my god ill try to watch more skylanders academy tomorrow im getting back on that grind#KAOS I LOVE YOU /P
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Had a bad day at work today ... x__x...
#Atleast I'm home now but ........ ×_× ...#Back at it again tomorrow ... and don't have a day off until next Friday... ughhhh#The long long hours are what's grinding the shit out of my psyche#I think I've worked about 90 hours without a break day insofar. My heads so fucked#I'm set to work like another 60 hours until I get a day off so like.. almost 150hrs without a day off.#It hurts a lot. I wish I could confidently get another job that doesn't suck shit like these hours do#I don't even know what that'd look like without being underpaid. My job is technically easy#It just hurts my head to have to do it for so long#It feels like either 'get paid a lot to do stupid bullshit for a lot of hours' or 'get underpaid to do less stupid bullshit for less time'#And sometimes the less stupid bullshit is harder work. Yknow what I mean#Like I'd care about it more depending on what it is. But sometimes it's even harder than what I'm doing now#I don't know though. But if I never try ill never know#But it's also like. That's a big leap to take for someone who doesn't have a safety net out here#And my problem is... I don't even know where I'd go to have that safety net.#I don't think it exists for me anymore. When I went homeless it got better and I wouldn't change it#But it also means building back everything I lost. It sometimes feels impossible even though it isnt#But .... God. I wish I just had a place I could trust fall like I want to and feel OK with if it falls through#Like I'm not going to go homeless again sorta way. Like my cats have a place to live.#I don't know what I'd do if I lost the ability to house my animals. I'd be so fucked
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I have a lot mixed feelings about the second part of the event.
#it's both good and bad feelings#warning for spoilers below about story so i will take about the grinding stages first#bad: i'm going to strangle cherry with my own hands#what do you MEAN he heals 50% of his hp after his passive aoe hits#excuse my language but what the FUCK#thought second grinding stage would be as easy as first grinding stage but nooooo#as expected of the man who took 120+ pulls and refused to come home#okay story spoilers below proceed with caution#good: i adore loulan's main story a lot; the concept of evil and good which gets blurrier the more someone tries to differiate them is hnggg#also the fact that dongbi is obsessed with catching a-yu is because a-yu is what he wants to be but could never become#a fugitive who fights for his own principles in the shadows; someone who doesn't think twice before following what he thinks is right#he envies that a-yu has the freedom to do what he wants so he's desperately trying to capture him in order to prove to himself that#the path he walked down was right.... even though that costed him so many things.... too many things#meanwhile a-yu envies that dongbi has an identity; a set of principles that he will stick to no matter what#everything a-yu ever wanted was lost in that fire so he has nothing left to fight for#the thrills of theiving and the amusement of this cat and mouse chase is only to distract him from the fact that he will never get-#-what he truly wants for they've long slipped out of his grasp before he realised how truly precious they were to him#ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh god i love this event so much it's so good#please read the story with cn dubbing for full immersion it's so so good#now back to the grind for a-yu and shifu#tale of food#the tale of food#▪︎ edits#cherry biluo
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yapping aimlessly tonight
#jaerambles#i just have a lot in my brain!!#anyway i keep getting asked what i would want to do in an ideal situation. if money and time and stuff were no object#i really do think it would be just aimless learning.#like learning new crafts. reading without having to respond to it. sponging up knowledge without the expectation to Say Things#it feels a bit. selfish.#but i don’t really have an endpoint to reach nor do i have something to say. like i just want to acquire experiences and learn things#i get really nervous when people ask me what makes me happy because i don’t know. i know what makes me uncomfortable and scared though#i would also like the ability to just change my situation a lot as much as i want. moving to new places and leaving when i don’t like them#trying new professions without having to stick to them or work up a ladder#drop everything for a weekend to go see friends. things like that.#i say all these things as though i haven’t been too afraid to leave my house for the past 6 months djfjdjfjdjfjjd#i’m trying to be less avoidant lately though. like ideal situations are not my reality!#real life is me being too scared to think of possibilities so in reality i just have to take the tiniest steps back to normalcy#ppl with the jae lore remember when my commute to school was literally 5000 miles#or when i worked two jobs and was so about the grind because i had a reason to want the money#like i used to have So much going on. and now i don’t. and i don’t know what i am in the absence of being Busy#there’s still so much i don’t understand abt bpd1 i’m so scared of making changes too suddenly because i HATE who i was in august#or not who i was. what i was doing.#but now i’ve swung the other direction and i do nothing 😭 i don’t feel like i’m Living rn#i feel like i’ve started all over again. i almost had it i was gonna do two internships and keep doing my cute little barista job#and have a senior year that was gonna be about growing and finishing strong#and then of course my maladjusted ass sees [irreversible change event] and like. yknow#this keeps. happening to me. i want to be so much better than this 😭😭😭
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Just some rathalos farming clip cause i liked how it ended. Also displays my playstyle well
#ignore the fact im fighting with blast weapons i know im a fuckin idiot but i didnt want to farm zinogre#monster hunter#monster hunter rise#switchaxe power morphs my beloved#invincible gambit by beloved#as you can see i tank hits and whack shit#iz what i do#im replayin rise on my PlayStation for better graphics and gotta try and get back to whatever hr i was at on switch#cause i really wanna play sunbreak on PlayStation#and if that means i gotta re-grind everything then so be it#even though i could just boot it up on my switch#i wont#cause graphics#i like playstation a LOT#and man did i forget how funnswitchaxe was hehe#i play dual blades on world#and bowgun in mhgu#though im still findin what weapon i wanna main in the older titles#those are so much harder#but rise is easy breezy vibe mode#so im grindin it#might go back to world and finish up iceborne hopefully#gonna *try* and solo rise all the way into sunbreak#no guarantee the elder dragons will go well#but i beat nergigante so i got this!#ive done it before with shyker’s help#and i can DO IT AGAIN
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#tag talk#as much as I hate to see the social cinema grow as I get new followers. we're at a good and satisfying number. and I like that#also also also. I've introduced a friend to Hannibal (tv show) and he's loving it and I'm so happy cause none of#of my other friends have been able to stomach the body horror. so it's super cool to find someone to hype over it with#another random story that I genuinely can't remember if I said already. got told by a kid in minecraft that he's smiled a lot more around me#which. huge compliment. genuine honor to make people happy and smile and laugh#people don't laugh enough. we don't smile enough. be happy or die. and I'm too powerful to die. been there. haven't done that#cry and then laugh and then punch as hard as you can.#got to visit some of my favorite residents from the nursing home I first worked at. lotta new staff but my three favorite nurses are still#which is nice. I cried when I left that job because even though it crushed my soul I loved my coworkers and most of my residents.#I get why some healthcare workers grind themselves to the bone for the job. you're making such a huge difference in people's lives.#I tried but didn't have the fortitude for it. but it's nice to be able to go back and say hi to the friends I made and see how things are.#anyway. sorry for being weird like.. one or two weeks ago. I think things are settling out again. moving is rough but we're making it work#It's been a lot of Lear again lately. especially while being at my parents house. he doesn't mind being deadnamed as much sooo....#idk. at least one of us is capable of surviving the dmv and the state medicaid website. heaven knows I can't manage.#trying to stop using him as a crutch for getting things done has just resulted in us not being able to get things done.#but I don't want to be someone else I want to be me. I don't want to be the armor I want to be the human inside.#I don't want to live defensively. pushing everyone away. I can't do that.#anyway. we're back home! and work is on the horizon. hopefully this job works out cause I don't want to have to apply for new jobs.#the hr rep is a man at this store and I immediately got set on edge and our voice dropped as I stepped back.#then we introduced ourselves with the wrong name and he got confused and I just felt stupid about it#but how am I supposed to know which name he's been told. he didn't even use our paperwork name. Anyway that was a disaster#but we're on track and embarrassment is not a setback but a feeling about the way things progress. and it is progress we're making
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Therapy is just consensual manipulation
#tell me I'm wrong#the enture industry is seeped in colonization#but for the most part they push people in the right direction so it's seen as okay#but uh#yeah#I'm aware I'm probably biased cause I've had access to free/cheap therapists which means lotsa interns and a tew gender therapists#one was autism informed so she helped me a ton with understanding the world#one was not a trained therapist for general mental health but addiction#one was somehow a gender therapist but I had to guide her through the entire process to get my letter#and the one trauma specialized one did see was only a few sessions cause she was about to go for a conference on next level emdr#and was super exicted to try it out on me because of my trauma history and how highly th e treatment was praised#and my fear brain went NOOOOPE and I wuit therapy for a few years altogether#just now getting back into the intern grind and hating every moment#I dunno what else to do though :/
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★ thinking about bestfriend!choso who is just so naïve — fully believing that the way he always gets achingly hard in his pants whenever you give him a hug or a kiss on the cheek is completely normal.
it’s gotten to the point now where he can only get off while looking at pictures of you because the images of random women he finds online just don’t seem to make his cock twitch and throb in his hand the way you do.
so the poor boy is understandably puzzled when you explain to him one day that “friends aren’t supposed to feel that way for other friends”… but how could that possibly be true when his body is so adamantly telling him otherwise?
and it’s not like you aren’t attracted to him too, you just don’t want to take advantage of your sweet bestfriend’s naïveté — even though it’s extremely difficult to ignore the way he pops a very obvious boner everytime you so much as smile in his direction.
but it all becomes too much to resist during one of your sleepovers when you wake up in the middle of the night to the feeling of choso grinding his stiffness against your ass in his sleep, your panties already sticky with arousal from the stimulation.
and you find yourself blindly reaching behind you, telling yourself that you’re just helping him out, hastily pushing his sweatpants down until his pretty pink cock springs free — and even without looking you can tell he’s big as your hand wraps loosely around the base, but you try not to dwell on that fact for too long as you guide him towards the seam of your thighs.
once his needy shaft is sandwiched between your plush thighs, his body seems to take the hint as he begins to rock back and forth as if shallowly thrusting into a pussy, soft whines of pleasure falling from his lips in his sleep in response to the newfound friction.
and, of course, it doesn’t take bestfriend!choso long to cum, thick ropes of his pearly seed shooting onto the mattress beside you as he pants heavily into the back of shoulder... but just as you’re about to shut your eyes once more, you hear his drowsy voice mumbling out your name in his sleep.
“mmh— i love you.”
#!! hellokittyish#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk smut#jjk x reader smut#choso#choso smut#choso kamo smut#choso kamo x reader#choso x you#choso kamo#choso x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk choso
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