#trying to be less ashamed of it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

varietyshiw · 2 years ago

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a silly little comic i made about plurality & unmasking

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once-in-a-blood-moon · 5 months ago

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Okay, so what if you propose to Solomon before he gets the chance to propose to you? Like obviously, he'd been thinking long and hard about what kind of ring to pick out, where to do it, what to say, yadda yadda... But then while you're *ahem* supervising him in the kitchen one evening, you get down on one knee and propose to him instead.

Poor guy did not see it coming, at all. Initially, he thought you fell or hurt yourself, so he scrambled around to check on you only to see you smiling up at him with the biggest heart eyes. With a gentle flourish of magic, you make the box appear in your hand before opening it to offer him the ring inside.

He can hardly believe it. Him? You want to propose to him? And you beat him to it? He's both impressed and deeply honored. Your little magic stunt made him proud as your teacher while also making the already special moment a million times more so.

Solomon's not one to get emotional. The only time he's ever cried to you was when you and the rest of Purgatory Hall tricked him with that overpowered onion...but this is different. He feels safe to cry as you spout to him a beautiful, heartfelt speech - feeling every letter being etched into his heart and every syllable committed to memory.

He falls to his knees, reaching out to hold you while whispering as many shaky "yeses" as he can muster through his sobs. He can't stop repeating himself like a broken record, beyond excited for this next step in your relationship, touched that you want to keep him as yours.

Once he's calmed down enough through your hushes, kisses, and gentle touches, you pull back to take his hand into yours. Slowly and carefully, you slip the ring onto his finger.

Solomon just stares at it with his heart in his throat, noticing how it shines in the light, how it fits him perfectly (both aesthetically and in size), and how it feels right occupying what he always assumed would be an empty finger. You've given him the gift of hope and the gift of love in the time he's known you. And here you are giving him even more...your life.

And in return, he's gladly and readily giving you his.

#solobesties i have done you all wrong #i am ashamed of myself how could i not consider US proposing to HIM #please forgive me for i've seen the error of my ways #finishing this since it's been in my drafts for god knows how long and i'm trying to reinvigorate the creative juices #to the asks in my inbox i see you i'm working on you i swear! i've just been sleeping a lot lately so i'm less productive :( stupid meds #side note: i've been meaning to end this little...mini series?? with a honeymoon drabble. i'll get there eventually lol #obey me #obey me solomon #obey me solomon x reader #jo’s thoughts

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irafuwas · 1 year ago

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i don't know why, but in the sparse five hours of sleep i got last night, my brain decided to plague me with dreams of lilia taking care of an elderly silver, up until the final moments of his life. i could hear silver's thoughts the whole time, and he was so absolutely inundated with shame and guilt it almost seemed like he was suffocating. he kept thinking over and over and over again that this all should've been the other way around. he should've been the one looking after his father in the twilight of his life. he should've been his aging father's rock, his safe place to land, his stalwart defender against a world so unbelievably cruel to its most vulnerable denizens. again and again his heart cried out in vain, it should've been the other way around.

as a child he had once wished - prayed, even, to the same force now threatening to reclaim his spirit back into its unconscious designs - for his father to live a long and prosperous life, and it was as though that very wish had backfired on him in a way he never could have possibly imagined

#twst silver #lilia vanrouge #twst spoilers #twst #mumbles #txt #i hate it here #i litearlly woke up crying you gusy dont unerstand #he was so ashamed of himself but not once in my dream was lilia anything less than happy to take care of him #i feel like part of the reason lilia is trying to run away is because like so many of our elderly and our disabled #he didn't want his loved ones to worry about him and “waste” their time taking care of him #so he thought the best decision for everyone would be if he just went off to go die alone #i have no idea if twst would actually touch on something like that but i do think you could interepret his departure that way #anyways if any of you have caretakers or aides or just are disabled in anyway #i want you to know you are not and have never been and never will be a burden on anyone or anything #and that i love you so so much #im getting so emotional over a dream fkjgh but i want silver to understand that good parents dont have kids expecting that #their children will someday “pay them back” for everythinng they did for them growing up!! u don't owe ur parents jack shit!!#silver you just existing as you are is enough for your father!!!

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ghoulchurch · 1 year ago

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booboo keys

#originalz #mai art #truly got very close to almost not posting this but im trying to be less ashamed of my interests 🥹#the groom of gallagher mansion #tgog #elias gallagher #hes just so sad and pathetic i need him like a spoiled little girl needs a pony #snaccpop studios

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dol-dee · 9 months ago

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Fallen Sydney is definitely the type that enthusiastically buys all sorts of kinky outfits. For themself as much as their s/o haha

Sydney buying a bunch of outfits she really wants to see on Dee. Forgetting she will have to convince/beg her for weeks to actually wear them

#sydney trying to rizz Dee up to get her into the incredibly tiny bunnysuit: PLEASEPLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEEEEEEPLEASEPLE #im kinda torn I think Dee has a thing for costumes as well but she already has to wear them a lot for the stripclub which is like….#sure.. it’s work.. whatever. but the association sticks #and then on the other hand I think she’s partly embarrassed that she’s into it. maybe even ashamed #smth smth this shitty town makes you feel like a piece of meat so it’s difficult to feel like you have ownership over your own body and kink #I love this hc because it’s so fun and cute but Sydney would need to spend soo much money on custom tailoring for Dee (realistically)#which would be suuuuuper expensive and makes the hc way less fun lmao (like Sydney would NOT have the budget for that)#< I keep doing this but i can’t help and be acutely aware how difficult it is to get cute clothes for anyone who’s not thin #sydney the fallen #dee the defiant #dol pc #on one hand I feel a bit guilty that I keep making these posts about Dee on the other hand… this is my blog I can do what I want and..#the blog name kinda indicates it don’t it (fork spotted in kitchen etc etc)#doldykes

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lonelyangelonlyangel · 1 year ago

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bpd body 👼

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blujayonthewing · 3 months ago

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if losing weight was simple and obvious we wouldn't have to have teams of nutritionists meticulously crafting weight-loss programs based on taking advantage of extremely specific and obscure biological processes and that still have like a 95% failure rate

#it at least makes sense to me that people who are skinny are gonna be like 'just eat better and exercise more!'#but SO many people who WANT to lose weight who ARE TRYING or HAVE TRIED to lose weight ALSO FEEL LIKE THIS #BRO IF IT WAS POSSIBLE IT'D FUCKING BE POSSIBLE!!!#if I want to get into shape I know I can start working out and building muscle and improving my cardio and that that will work!#because it actually works for people!! because it's a real fucking thing that's possible to do!!#'ohhh you should lose weight' yeah? how's YOUR weight loss journey going mom? since it's so easy and obvious?#and the thing that sucks is that like!! it's just so INTERNALIZED. we've collectively internalized that it IS possible--#so that if we fail that's a Personal Failure to be ashamed of. people don't WANT to believe you can't meaningfully lose weight #for THEMSELVES.#and like... man I dunno I wish I was less fat than this and I should probably be more proactive about NOT gaining MORE weight #but like.... genuinely the FIRST time I read (in a cracked article of all things) that weight loss is proven functionally impossible #I was like OH OKAY PHEW. ONE LESS THING TO FEEL SHAME AND GUILT OVER.#I also wish I wasn't so tall (which also has implications for your health btw) but they don't make cleanse juices for that #yeah losing weight is so easy it's just a matter of willpower which is why we have scientists trying to solve it on a chemical level

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matchamiko · 10 months ago

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I really dislike the new trend of videos with “I’m a 21 year old, these are the things I’m ashamed of about myself” and it’s just a recycle of living with parents, having no savings, having no job related to your degree or never being in a relationship. Poppet, you’re so young !!! Don’t be ashamed of that stuff !!!! I know you mean well and are trying to be relatable and individual but you’re not because you’re a baby and babies don’t need to have their whole life sorted out !!! Especially in this world and this age !!!! We all are small girls (gn) living in a mean mean world, let’s just have a cup of tea and some cake and not worry m’kay?

#I could’ve been meaner but I realise it’s mainly young 20 something girls #why r u ashamed if the point of the video is to make people less ashamed of a situation you share?#also I would be more inclined to watch and listen and relate to these videos if it was a 30 or 40 something year old #yall are babies please cut yourself some slack #also it’s one of those I saw one video and don’t need to see the others cause they’re all the same #boohoo I’m trying to be individual with my struggles:((( but also I have the exact same struggles as everyone else #precious child we r all suffering let’s just hold hands quietly #I could be so mean rn I’m so torn between being mean and kissing their heads #miko.online

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palms-upturned · 6 months ago

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Sorry for being late today coming online, a lot has happened and I am trying to think about the best way to organize this blog going forward. For now though I will try to get the list updated quickly and read through my messages/@'s

#meg talks #mainly thinking about how best to spotlight people's fundraisers because so many are gaining and losing traction periodically #and some of my posts seem to get more reach than others #mostly what troubles me is i think that the more campaigns i boost the less effective it is for each campaign #i think that the small batches of donation matching campaigns that i organized with other people was the most effective thing so far #bc it guaranteed at least one donation to each campaign #i think i'm going to try to make other small batch posts too each day #like ''here are some campaigns that are close to their goal/low on funds/almost to the halfway mark or some other milestone/etc''#but idk. i just feel troubled and i think some people who have reached out to me think i have more reach than i actually do #i have less than 3k followers and a lot of them are inactive blogs from over the past ten years #ofc that still isn't nothing and im going to keep doing what im doing but im afraid people might be reaching out to me #thinking that i'll be able to give their campaigns more visibility than i actually can #im grateful that my master list has gotten some traction but the longer it gets the tougher it is to single ppl out #i don't know. if people have suggestions please let me know #for now i would really really appreciate volunteers to help w the donation matching campaigns #if i can have ppl committing to donating like 5 bucks to a handful of campaigns once or twice a month #then at least that's something that IS guaranteed u know... though i feel ashamed that i quit my job #and can't guarantee much myself until i find a new one #idk im just troubled and i'm not going to stop boosting campaigns but i hate the thought of getting ppl's hopes up and not delivering

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iniziare · 6 months ago

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Tag drop: Dorian Pavus

#[ dorian pavus. ] he says we're alike. too much pride. once i would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. now I'm not certain.#[ dorian pavus: ic. ] you find joy in it not shame. it shows. / why be ashamed? power should be respected. not swept under the carpet.#[ dorian pavus: inquiries. ] stop talking like you're waiting for applause. / what? there's no applause?#[ dorian pavus: countenance. ] i'm here to set things right. also? to look dashing. that part's less difficult.#[ dorian pavus: introspection. ] selfish i suppose. not to want to spend my entire life screaming on the inside.#[ dorian pavus: meta. ] you inspired me with your marvelous antics. you’re shaping the world. how could i aspire to do any less?#[ dorian pavus: etc. ] you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks.#[ dorian pavus: magic. ] don't your spells whisper things to you? what is and could be? music in the mind of strange faraway places?#[ dorian pavus: inquisition. ] we're going to get lost and starve to death. aren't we? a glorious end for the inquisition.#[ dorian pavus: tevinter. ] despite appearances. we care deeply. about everything. we have no reserve. not in war and not in love.#[ dorian pavus: felix. ] even in illness he was the best of us. with him around you knew things could be better.#[ dorian pavus: gereon. ] we used to talk about how we could make real change in the imperium. then he gave up. he stopped trying.#[ dorian pavus: halward. ] i only wanted what was best for you. / no. you wanted the best for you. your fucking legacy.#[ dorian pavus: aquinea. ] her blame was cold and smothering. never spoken but always present. he couldn't face that. not yet.#[ dorian pavus: inquisitor. ] you have too many people asking you for everything under the sun. i won't be one of them.#[ dorian pavus: solas. ] you startled me. you're always so... nondescript. / please speak up. i cannot hear you over your outfit.#[ dorian pavus: varric. ] what do you think sparkler? ten royals says the next thing we run into farts fire. / taken i win either way.#[ dorian pavus: cullen. ] gloat all you like. i have this one. / are you sassing me commander? i didn't know you had it in you.#[ dorian pavus: cassandra. ] blue scarf? why would i be wearing such a thing? / It's a painting. work with me. it'll be fantastic.#[ dorian pavus: cole. ] you say you're handsome all the time. am i? i can't tell. / you're all right. might want to rethink the hats.#[ dorian pavus: vivienne. ] i received a letter the other day dorian. / truly? it's nice to know you have friends.#[ dorian pavus: blackwall. ] point is. you should let yourself off the hook. i know bad men and you're not one.#[ dorian pavus: sera. ] you magic me: i'll put three arrows in your eye. / now we can live together in peace and harmony.#[ dorian pavus: bull. ] no qunari would accept a tevinter mage unless it was a ruse. when should i expect a knife in the back?#[ dorian pavus: corypheus. ] one of yours? / one of mine? like a pet? a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood?#[ dorian pavus: v. inquisition. ] one of mine? like a pet? like a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood?#[ dorian pavus: v. veilguard. ] evil gods. rituals. waiting for the stars. it's about as tevinter as blood magic and hubris.#tag drop

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baalzebufo · 1 year ago

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one of my favourite songs of his and i cant believe i didnt see the live recording until like yesterday ... thanks weird al tumblr blogs i follow. for putting germs in my brain

#yes i am weird al fanart posting on main. sorry this is something you just have to deal with now #i KNOW this . is not my usual content. but my case of the mondays has extended into tuesday. let me have this #if i keep joking about it i'll feel less embarrassed about posting-#alloyart #weird al yankovic #literally this all started because of that goddamn dnd oc and me using al as a reference for him and it spiralled out of control #and then i relistened to a bunch of his stuff and got that good warm fuzzy nostalgia from when i was younger and less ashamed of being goof #so im trying to bring that back lol #anyway. i enjoy this outfit.

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lucydacusgirl · 7 months ago

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I literally have a moustache that’s so cool… I’m a girl with a moustache :) shoutout to my naturally high testosterone for making me so hairy

#it used to make me so embarrassed and ashamed and I felt like I had to shave it #but when I stopped shaving it I actually found that I thought about it a lot less?#like it wasn’t an overnight thing it’s taken me years to get to a point where I notice it in a photo of myself and go hey that’s fun!!!#and like I’m cis but I think feeling more comfortable in my queerness has made a huge difference in changing how I feel about it #but like my body does that naturally! it doesn’t make me in feminine it doesn’t make me less of a woman! and I think it looks cool!#i think trying to hide it get rid of parts of myself that I don’t like was the main thing that kept me hating them #and now that I’ve stopped and I’ve accepted my body and face how they are I’m soo much happier and like. chill.#anyway was looking at a photo of myself and was like hey cool moustache!

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tardis--dreams · 2 months ago

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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care

#i have 14 hours overtime #collected within 2 weeks lol #you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're #the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's #still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way #so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for #free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week #so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me #first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day #stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the #articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared #but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he #he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world #fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday #just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not #being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU #seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour #of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni #as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too #sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess #void screams #work stuff

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butchvamp · 1 year ago

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ohhh my god i need to get off this website

#first mistake going into the lesbian tag just to immediately see lesbophobia #crazy to me that the popular stance from so many other gay ppl rn is just ‘lesbophobia is good’#i cannot take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#why is everyone suddenly so obsessed with 'proving' that lesbians can be with men #and why are so many people being so horrible and misrepresenting our history #there absolutely were lesbians that were with men historically. because they were either bisexual women #that were forced to mislabel themselves bc of the violent biphobia in the lesbian feminist movement #or they were women unknowingly dealing with compulsive heterosexuality #like how disgusting do you have to be to look at some of these women and be like 'this was when queers were REALLY QUEER'#instead of like. having empathy and understanding about their situation #and also acknowledge that language has changed. there is no lesbian feminism anymore lesbianism is a sexuality that EXCLUDES MEN #end of sentence #there is a difference between someone questioning or who found out they were lesbian later in life #or historically where these words had different meaning the community & society was Completely Different #versus you assholes deliberately trying to force lesbianism to include men to be 'progressive'#like just so fucking vile. you should be ashamed of yourselves #literally just cannot go into any gay spaces as a lesbian anymore because it's just constant lesbophobia and no one cares #theyre more concerned with being So Inclusive and the Better Queer that they'd rather exclude an entire part of the community #and deem them 'less than'#while parroting the same shit conservatives say to all lesbians #did you win? do you feel good about ignoring and talking over and excluding us?

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camellia-thea · 5 months ago

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initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.

#i have been possessed by my fourteen year old self.#except now i am *way* less ashamed of my interests #<- oh wow when you're in a place where all your interests that are unique to you are shamed constantly you stop enjoying them #there were so many things i hoarded as ''just mine'' because i was scared that they'd be stolen from me in one way or another #because either it'd be co-opted and i'd have to confirm to their view of said interest. or i'd be shamed and belittled for enjoying it #there are so many little things now (even wider than like. media interests. like literal aspects of myself) that feel wrong to share becaus #the only way to keep it safe was to keep it close to my chest #there are a few names i'd love to go by but as soon as i think about actually telling someone it i feel like i might #(and sometimes do) have a panic attack about it #which is stupid!!! the people around me now love me!!!! and i love them!!!!!#all that to say. being able to post about armand and dm is kind of like. a rebellion i guess #tvc and specifically armand were so important to me because back then i kind of saw myself in him? v. jaded and disconnected with the world #and seeking someone to bring them forward and into a new space to try and reinvent themself #and wanting someone to love them hard enough that it encompassed everything #i wanted to be what daniel was to armand and what armand was to daniel #<- very healthy way to think about the world and relationships btw <3 i was so normal and fine and this was not a sign something was wrong #god this turned into a bit of a vent thing huh.#i'm not like. feeling big feelings i should clarify. i feel like i'm examining them from a distance and taking notes like a scientist lol #it's a thing of like. knowing how unhealthy everything was and acknowledging that i'm healing. slowly; sure. but i am healing #i got to play a game one of them had tainted last week. it was hard and fun and i had big feelings when i was playing #because it was a little triggering. but i did it. i managed. i felt better for it.#i told my partner about one of my favourite bands back in 2021 and now they listen to them too and that's a little bit of joy #because it was one of the things that was deemed ''bad'' and that i can share that with someone now and feel safe to love it is good #and being able to be as obsessive and hyperfixated as i am right now without it being unsafe is really really lovely #and it is making me lean into it! i can engage with this without guilt! i want to fuck that old man!#it's silly and difficult and big and great and awful and complicated. but it's allowed to be. i'm allowed to be.

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chartreuxcatz · 1 year ago

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hm. I just realized how weird it was that every year in school we had to have a moment of silence on 9/11 to remember the victims, and everyone took it really seriously. But when we had a designated time set for going outside and having a few minutes for the Parkland shooting victims our teacher told us “I don’t want to see any of you leaving my class for that. You don’t even understand what you’re protesting.”

Not that I would have known where to go for it anyway. They didnt really tell us where outside we would be gathering.

I wish i had stepped out that day anyways.

We have a god damn school shooting every fucking day in this country and I couldnt even take 17 minutes one fucking time to mourn with my classmates because the gun owners would’ve felt attacked.

#Meow.#Fuck the anthem. Fuck the pledge of allegiance #Fuck every stupid shithead conservative who made me feel ashamed or selfish for wanting better in this god forsaken place #Fuck America. Fuck your dumbass patriotism #Sick of this shit #I cant look at any comments on reports of school shootings because people dont even say ‘that really sucks’ anymore #Its immediately people jumping to the defense of guns and shitting on people who want some stricter regulations or something #‘I need my gun incase we have to overthrow the government’#like hey you dingdong. you know that military and police force you keep supporting and saying we need to strengthen?#your AR 15 isnt going to do shit against their tanks and jets and bombs. You’d be dead within seconds. gun or no gun #But then again their idea of anarchy and an attack on the country would involve queers getting bodily autonomy so #I feel like im going fucking crazy #I need to kick in every conservatives head. Every single one.#Sick of trying to be the tolerant left I need to kill now #Im so tired of being nice.#So tired of tiptoe-ing around shit just to keep people who couldnt care less about me comfortable.#When is it my turn to be an asshole?#When do I get say 'I have no atrong feeling as to whether you live or die. but if i had to choose I would wish you dead in an instant.'#Im tired of mercy. tired of grace.#tired of being one of the good ones.#i want to be exactly what they think of us but worse #sick of shoveling dirt into a bottomless void just to find some middle ground for them to spit on

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