#trying to be less ashamed of it

[eruhamster]

There have been multiple times where I've seen people are like "haha Hua Cheng made up a story about being kicked out so Xie Lian would take him in haha so silly" so I just wanted to point this out.

He was quoting himself from when he was a little boy.

He was scared to just outright say who he was, but he kept trying to jog Xie Lian's memory (though ofc being a ghost with a photographic memory, he may not have remembered that normal people don't remember things from 800 years ago). He was constantly quoting himself. He showed Xie Lian the palm of his hand with the intention that Xie Lian see his totally fucked up fate and realize who he is.

To be honest... Hua Cheng doesn't really lie to Xie Lian. He lies by omission sometimes, but he does not outright lie. And I feel like people are missing something by apparently not being aware that Hua Cheng was trying to tell Xie Lian who he was, without telling him.

That's why he started trembling and laughing when Xie Lian recalled the story of the suicidal boy that Xie Lian told 'live for me!' - The entire time, he thought Xie Lian forgot about him. Until then.

[once-in-a-blood-moon]

Okay, so what if you propose to Solomon before he gets the chance to propose to you? Like obviously, he'd been thinking long and hard about what kind of ring to pick out, where to do it, what to say, yadda yadda... But then while you're *ahem* supervising him in the kitchen one evening, you get down on one knee and propose to him instead.

Poor guy did not see it coming, at all. Initially, he thought you fell or hurt yourself, so he scrambled around to check on you only to see you smiling up at him with the biggest heart eyes. With a gentle flourish of magic, you make the box appear in your hand before opening it to offer him the ring inside.

He can hardly believe it. Him? You want to propose to him? And you beat him to it? He's both impressed and deeply honored. Your little magic stunt made him proud as your teacher while also making the already special moment a million times more so.

Solomon's not one to get emotional. The only time he's ever cried to you was when you and the rest of Purgatory Hall tricked him with that overpowered onion...but this is different. He feels safe to cry as you spout to him a beautiful, heartfelt speech - feeling every letter being etched into his heart and every syllable committed to memory.

He falls to his knees, reaching out to hold you while whispering as many shaky "yeses" as he can muster through his sobs. He can't stop repeating himself like a broken record, beyond excited for this next step in your relationship, touched that you want to keep him as yours.

Once he's calmed down enough through your hushes, kisses, and gentle touches, you pull back to take his hand into yours. Slowly and carefully, you slip the ring onto his finger.

Solomon just stares at it with his heart in his throat, noticing how it shines in the light, how it fits him perfectly (both aesthetically and in size), and how it feels right occupying what he always assumed would be an empty finger. You've given him the gift of hope and the gift of love in the time he's known you. And here you are giving him even more...your life.

And in return, he's gladly and readily giving you his.

[emeraldotter]

2024 art summary! Some detailed thoughts and considerations on another year of drawing every day under the cut.

I feel like I had some big improvements with backgrounds and color choices. I like painting backgrounds; they're probably my favorite things to paint. I pushed myself on figure drawing more, too, but framing and posing has never come naturally to me. I made the plunge into drawing predominantly on single layer and just treating most digital paintings like I'm using acrylics. I think it's led to some more fluidity in my art, though it's definitely had its associated growing pains. It's so hard not to make things look muddy, but that's a problem I've always had with acrylics as well.

I admit, I'm very embarrassed by what I have to show this year and a lot that has to do with the subjects I painted. I'm trying very hard to push back against that negativity, though. Deku's a comforting character to me, so drawing him always makes me feel better. I should allow that sort of outlet for myself, I think. I feel better for it, anyways. Plus, the MHA manga had such talented people illustrating for it and its art evolution really inspired me—there's so much expressiveness there, and I love hands! MHA is the hand manga, haha.

I've also noticed that I get really nervous that people will think my art is bad if I post it online, so I've been interrogating that. I've definitely posted more duds than good stuff over the years, but I'm not a natural or talented artist. I'm just a guy who draws! And that's okay, I think. Not every athlete is meant for the world championships. But then I think: Do I think this way when I see other people's art? And the answer is no. I'm always happy to see art. I'm always happy to see people making art. I'm much more focused on the subject of the art, on how it makes me feel, than if it's "good enough." What does that even mean? Obviously, there are objective skill sets associated with drawing and painting, but it's a sliding scale of competency. I don't think it's as black and white as "good" and "bad" so much as "well developed" and "less developed." And art on both ends of that spectrum have spoken to me enormously over the years.

It's hard, sometimes, to make art that feels fulfilling or pushes you when you have a running daily queue. I've been doing this for over a decade. Kind of crazy, right? Whenever I draw something, I think, "Can I post this? Is this postable?" I've tried to move away from that. Making a lot of hours-long paintings that I don't show anybody has helped that, maybe. All the same, every time I'm working on a painting that isn't a commission or for this blog, I can't help but think, "You're using up your body's stamina and your limited time to make something that can't be used. You're going to have to set aside even more time to work on usable art." I've done a lot to push aside that guilt. If I can't paint for myself, then painting serves nothing for me. I already work a pretty demanding job; I cannot have everything I do turn into survival. Hobbies are so important.

Another thing that happened is that I got really into learning how to seriously make stickers, this year! I bought a printer on sale and everything. I hand-cut each sticker and apply a protective layer over it, usually with a holographic effect. Who doesn't love holographic stickers?

[cartoonsbyandie]

Humanoid/true form/I dunno Khonshu design based on this illustration from a line-up of the Ennead! (From a Thor and Hercules Encyclopedia, inspo taken from a few other places like annuals and Khonsu statues IRL.)

(He wears a hood and a mask, almost never shows his face, but I like drawing it anyway.)

[irafuwas]

i don't know why, but in the sparse five hours of sleep i got last night, my brain decided to plague me with dreams of lilia taking care of an elderly silver, up until the final moments of his life. i could hear silver's thoughts the whole time, and he was so absolutely inundated with shame and guilt it almost seemed like he was suffocating. he kept thinking over and over and over again that this all should've been the other way around. he should've been the one looking after his father in the twilight of his life. he should've been his aging father's rock, his safe place to land, his stalwart defender against a world so unbelievably cruel to its most vulnerable denizens. again and again his heart cried out in vain, it should've been the other way around.

as a child he had once wished - prayed, even, to the same force now threatening to reclaim his spirit back into its unconscious designs - for his father to live a long and prosperous life, and it was as though that very wish had backfired on him in a way he never could have possibly imagined

[ghoulchurch]

booboo keys

[dol-dee]

Fallen Sydney is definitely the type that enthusiastically buys all sorts of kinky outfits. For themself as much as their s/o haha

Sydney buying a bunch of outfits she really wants to see on Dee. Forgetting she will have to convince/beg her for weeks to actually wear them

[eemcintyre]

"You have said that you were full of yourself in your earlier career. In what way?"

"In every way. I had ideas, I had insecurities about myself that I projected on the movie business. Just the sounds from my mouth. So absurd. Absurdly unrealistic. Apparently, I had an evil twin."

"Do you think that people found it difficult to work with you?"

"Yeah, what's the one past difficult? Impossible. Yeah, I'm kind of blacklisted. I haven't gotten a studio job in fifteen years."

"Is your goal to get back?"

"Yeah, I'd always watched movies and wondered what I'd be like in that part."

"If you get back, will you behave in another way?"

"Yes- in the way that gets me hired. I was a dumb actor. I complained quite a bit when I was younger. I didn't appreciate the business that afforded me the lifestyle that I very quickly enjoyed. Very quickly. I starred in my first movie. I was the lead in the first play I did professionally. And now that I don't have that privilege, I wish that I loved more. I want to be a better person. I try to figure that out every day, how to be more grateful."

-Excerpts from Val Kilmer's last interview before he lost his voice.

[baalzebufo]

one of my favourite songs of his and i cant believe i didnt see the live recording until like yesterday ... thanks weird al tumblr blogs i follow. for putting germs in my brain

[lucydacusgirl]

I literally have a moustache that’s so cool… I’m a girl with a moustache :) shoutout to my naturally high testosterone for making me so hairy

[tardis--dreams]

Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care

[camellia-thea]

initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.

[nazumichi]

not exaggerating not blowing the situation out of proportion prommy but I think I’d rather do literally anything else before that chemistry group project. put me in the furnace or something. mountain. exam?? ?

[spkyscry-aa]

anyways i've been to bdsm clubs, been to orgies, been part of the furry community for 10+ years, been a monsterfucker for the same amount of time

yeah you do the math here.

[asinglesock]

had a Costco $1.50 hot dog and soda for the first time today and it was lifechanging