#trying this again bc i want it to show in the tags
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Yall i dont think im gonna be able to stop thinking about usha and g13, actually.
Ushas an old old woman, clueless with tech. Lived long enough to develop various bonds with a LOT of people and relies on them a lot for help. In turn, shes VERY loyal to her close conpanions (a great example would be how she tends to back paula up a LOT, the way she sets up russel and paula to 'fake date' wink and all). She's very warm and very emotionally intelligent even if she's a bit clueless sometimes. Her logic is borderline incomprehensible, but it has heart.
G13 on the other hand, is a hacking prodigy. Hes young, hes sought after for his skills for better and for worse. But in turn, he's essentially lost himself in the process. He may be able to scrape nuke codes, but he'll never make a friend. He lacks any loyalty for anyone and anything except for himself and his interests, and if they dont satisfy those two points, then its worth nothing to him. His logic may be sound, but its cold.
#val rambles#nsbu spoilers#never stop blowing up#dimension 20#usha rao#g13#okay ill black out and maybe think more about it again oops#anyway the conclution is that HE will be learning about the importance of la familia (threat)#i could make an addition to this. something about how despite these differences both of them have a level of percived lonliness.#something g13 is. VERY slowly starting to realize when he first sees doug#anyway following the idea that the cards favorite movies signify a degree of. what character arc ends up being#i genuinely think they WILL show him the power of la familia he isnout here trying ti takenover and suddenly BOOM familia beam (threat)#i love adding to the tags and NOT rebloging but. something something about how they push others away#where for usha it comes off as not wanting to burden others she trusts while for g13 its bc he flat out trusts no one#also episode 2 notes that usha also has a set of trust issues due to her reliance on people she DOES trust.
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i am writing an accidental haiku to attract haiku bot
#haiku bot#🦾 finn txt#normal post. average. average words in these tags.#need to catch it. with a net maybe. like those ones that they always show ppl catching butterflies and junk with on shows. pspsppspspspspsp#ooooooooooh u wanna look at this post so bad oooooooooh#<- attempting to attract haiku bot to this post#wowoowoooowowowowowoowowowowowowoowowowoowowowoowowiwoowiwiwoowowowowoowowwwww (<- normal noises)#I wonder if there’s a limit to how many tags you can add#time to begin the haiku bot summoning ritual um#oooowowowowoowowowwwwooooo haiku bot haiku bot haiku bot oooowoowowowowwwwwwwu you wanna look at this post haiku bot ooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoo#throws flower. get over here please.#man. my arm hurts.#its weird bc one#why does my arm hurt thats really donking random but two im not?? why do i have an arm. i still get kinda surprised by it when i front lmao#why am i rambling so much in the tags#oh right trying to figure out if theres a limit to how many tags there can be dhdjdjndhdjsjmsjdjd#i think lesbians are cool. girls who like other girls are awesome. keep existing 👍#uhhhhhhhh#never mind im done with that now i dont anything more to say :(#never mind again#tags tags tags tags tags#LISTEN IM BORED AS HECK AND WANT TO DO SOMETHING RANDOM AND SILLY SHUSH#journal
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im so Normal. totally not shaking and crying rn
#its nice to be this excited about something again! to the point of nausea!#and i Mean That#this is the good kinda stress. tis a welcome break from the usual brands#all week i've been having moments of 'ohhhh god New Information Incoming' and i have to sit down every time#and measure my breathing to chill tf out#is this unhealthy! maybe! i am trying to keep it Contained!! tightly leashed if you will#BUT OH FUCK ITS ALMOST HERE AGH AGH AGH#absolutely unprompted#welcome home#i will probably be unable to discover secrets bc i am bad with computers and the like#but hey! ill try!#if there's like... a spoiler tag yall want from me ill make sure to tag any Update Posts with it#then again wh is a unique scenario of like... Are there spoilers#bc it feels like a 'a couple people uncover stuff and then show/tell the rest' thing#but what would i know! this is kinda the first update!#LETS GO GAMERS I HOPE THE NEW STUFF IS TRAUMATIZING FOR BOTH US AND THE CHARACTERS#alright im getting to excited again im gonna go lay down#gonna be refreshing pages every ten seconds even when its completely illogical and meaningless to do so
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Reading physical copies of The Queen's Thief series for the first time and realizing that the maps in them are inconsistent???
#the only map i'd really seen before was K's map to P in Thick as Thieves#but now looking at the map from the last story of Moira's Pen I'm like. wait. the empire is opposite in this one.#like according to K's map C and K generally move west in TaT but the other map has them moving east#it's not that big a deal to me bc i had to read the entire series twice to conceptualize where anything was#(bc i spent the whole of The Thief not realizing just how important every nation mentioned was. good move mwt you genuinely fooled me.)#but now that i thought i had it down i am once again thrown off#also the map that's referenced in Moira's Pen shows up in the physical copy of TaT?#the beauty of this series is that I NEVER would have guessed what was up in that story even had i seen the map beforehand#anyway all i wanted was to conceptualize where Roa was & now i'm like spiraling. like is K's map incorrect bc its from an imperial lens#which honestly? yeah absolutely (it makes the peninsula look so small) but also how would the mede empire have#conquered so much land with inaccurate resources even if it is for propaganda's sake#nothing in this series is accidental so i'm like *pepe silvia meme*#anyway this is just me trying to put my thoughts somewhere ignore me my tags are a mess#The Queen's Thief#The Queen's Thief spoilers#like not exactly but since everything is spoilers i'm tagging that just in case#Thick as Thieves#Moira's Pen
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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I’ve seen some say that carmen was trying to use the thought of claire to calm down which obviously didn’t work so he thought of sydney, but I’ve also seen the scene read in the color of claire causing his stress in the first place, again ending in sydney quieting everything down. when you consider how disconnected he was during his night with claire, I’m more with the second choice, but both ultimately lead to syd being the answer all along.
#if you have more to say! 🎤 always!!#I kinda don’t want to tag the show bc I don’t want antis in my ear#and I only really care what the community thinks#I’ll tag it later for my own organizational purposes#but for now#sydcarmy#carmy x sydney#sydney x carmy#anyways I think he was panicking about claire to begin with#she was a stressor from the moment he saw her again#I think the only thing that makes it seem like#he was trying to use her to calm down was her dream like images#and the drawings or whatever idk
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#i know i am in a teeny tiny minorityy of da fans but#i am. so tired of v4rric#i'm tired of him being in everything#(tired FOR him too. let the man rest)#tired of him being used to market every-damn-thing#i know I KNOW since almost everybody loves him he's a pretty surefire way to get ppl's attenion#but my interest in the game literally DROPPED seeing him involved#ugh you again#i used to like him!!!!#a lot!!!!#but when i say don't leave a seb-mancing hawke in the fade if you wanna keep liking v4rric I MEAN IT#his dismissive tone and insulting word choice#about telling sebastian his WIFE is (probably) dead sent my opinion plummeting to the depths of the deep roads#(i have to tell sebastian or he'll throw a fit. he'll THROW A FIT)#i try to keep it to myself bc i know ppl like/love him and i don't want to ruin that#bc i understand why you'd like him. i do#but for all the talk of him being hawke's best friend he does NOT act like it if you romance sebastian#not to mention the ''ignoring letters from starkhaven when he's viscount bc he doesn't like the man in charge'' things from trespasser :\#i just want to meet and play with new characters rather than have the same guy shoved in my face every time around#varric critical#(if this shows in the tag and you like him i'm v sorry. i tired to censor)
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btw one of the things i want to do when i really rap up atbb for real is spontaneously get the energy at will to do actual updated fullbodies of the main 4 since now i actually have the ability to draw them the way they look in my head & have the skills to put some more variety in their shapes. basically i wanna
#warning big character design rambling in these tags but like. were u expecting any less#if ur wondering what changed-#first of all everybody has bigger hands bc i'm actively deciding to commit to that decision because i like it :3#next russ is a bit taller . i'll probably change some other things like making his armor look more solid & making him look more frail#-without it but i dont wanna pick up my tablet rn so thats all i feel like editing with my mouse lmao#edge has the biggest changes mostly in just being Wider. i want to make him Look stronger yknow#currently its just one of those annoying “skinny anime girl actually has 2d spraypainted abs and can lift a truck” tropes that i Hate#its a lil too many triangles when he should really be more like a triangle-flavored square. yknow#that being said the weirdly feminine hips were not intentional but only time will tell if they make it into the actual final design or not#i will not be making his pauldrons wider than they were originally. those things are already wacking everything around him they're fine#fluff's change is just being a bit skinnier so he looks more pathetic and sad. probably gonna try to make him look a bit younger too#but age is hard to represent with skeletons from The Land Of Sharp Features#i might also change up his pants/shoes more idk. Baggy Everything makes a very difficult silhouette and the boots are just boring tbhh#they're the bi flag but i dont think a single person has ever noticed lmao#and stretch's biggest change is that he's going to Have A Fullbody Reference That Isn't From 2019#probably make his hoodie longer/looser so i can make the transition to the leggings less awkward & show off his tank under it a bit more#the leggings & sneakers get to stay tho i think. the red wraps the design up well & the chicken legs are funny to me :>#and karma isn't here but he'll probably also get an update to be more square as well. and NOT SKINNYYYYYY#i gotta cram some more emotional repression & inferiority complex hints into his outfit so his post-void look contrasts more its IMPORTANT#AND ALSO NEVER USE UNDERTALE SPRITES AS A REFERENCE FOR ARMOR EVER EVER EVER AGAIN#that being said im really excited to one day finally sit down and draw his post-void design i think i'll have fun with that one#theres a reason my sf bros dont really fit their “roles” in the au yet like undyne & alphys do. hehehe#basically to sum up all these tags: becoming more skilled at art is a curse because you KNOW you can do things better now
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Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings
#love the show. love it a lot. about to be a bitch in the tags anyways#it was. so so messy. they needed another season so bad. the alaska trip took up so much of the comics#and that was with the previously established cast#in the show they introduced a million new characters. gave us no time to get to know them before they were thrown head first into the plot#and condensed an arc that was almost half of the comics into the span of like 5 episodes#my boy singh. oh how they massacred by boy#i mean. okay. in the context of the show the arc wasn't horrible for him.#but i think his survival in the comic and his dedication of his life to making up for the mistakes of his past by helping people and hybrids#would've been so much more powerful than his random self sacrifice at the end of the show.#bc honestly it just seems like another impulsive act in his moral flip flop he'd been having for the last few episodes#rather than active choice to be better#and honestly i wanted to see his delusional paranoid religious breakdown from the comics put to screen so bad#it would've been great#i do like that he turned against zhang the second she started trying to talk about rani. that shit slapped#the several fake outs about Jepp's death were so stupid and unnecessary and repetitive#why are you baiting everyone. you're going to piss off the hardcore comic fans waiting for his death and confuse the show fans#either commit to killing him or stop pretending like you're brave enough to do it#why did they flip back so hard into the mystical vaguely eco fascist backstory and outcome of the comic#after spending two seasons trying to build a more scientific and less 'humanity must end' story for two seasons straight#they tried to make it seem less 'humanity must die' again at the end by ending the virus#which i guess might've been the best outcome available considering the source material and the limitations of it's ending#but idk. it felt weird#the writing this season was so much less subtle. it felt like the characters were constantly monologing directly at the camera#nothing could be left unsaid everyone had to say exactly what they meant#and it was all moral lessons the writers were trying to feed directly to the audience#i feel like they wrote themselves into a corner at the end of the last season#and they expected to have at least one more season to write themselves out of it before the ending#and if not. if this was the plan since the beginning. literally what. WHAT.#can not imagine the people who wrote the last two seasons sitting down and writing this#it won't let me add more tags but i have more thoughts. many more. tumblr is silencing me for speaking the truth /j
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#trying /really really hard/ not to let the overuse of terms such as 'secular' bug me here at school#but honestly I'm starting to get annoyed with it :')#ugh dear Lord I am trying SO HARD not to be argumentative and annoying and avoid my real problems in life by being snarky and unteachable#but it is HARD SOMETIMES LOL#bc I really want to argue#I really need the energy release it provides#even when I don't really care about the subject being argued about#college complaining#I think I'm using a different tag by accident every time lol#I'm trying so hard to grow up and put away childish things but I'm feeling so worn out. the problems aren't fixed.#and venting on tumblr isn't fixing it but I don't want to ask to schedule another appointment with my councilor bc I know it costs a lot#and I don't want to burden anyone here at school with my problems. that's self-seeking isn't it? and it's not fair to expect other people t#fix my problems.#I should turn to Christ alone since He should be enough for me. right?#I don't know and I hope I'm not being rude or blasphemous but I'm tired some of the depression/anxiety symptoms are showing up again#and I don't want to go back to shaking in fear and not being able to get out of bed for days in a row
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like i wouldnt mind like. Not having new linear games post 5 its judt that sims 4 wasnt even supposed to Be The Sims 4 it was a last minute pivot and the base code is so outdated and was broken On launch so like. i just wish we could have the final actual sims game be like. one that was always intented to be a major sims release AND be intended to be so long term . yk
#i dont even want like. Ooh major graphical updates whatever if sims 5 was announced and they looked photorealizstic id hurl i wouldnt play#it#my ideal would ig be sims 4 with a touch more realism style wise. if this makes sense#like its a bittt too cartoony for me but i like the like. Clay hair or whatever SJFNFJ. and i think having it be simple in basegame means#you can customize it easier + itd run better on more pcs#so im fine eith that. i would nottt want it more cartoony#i also like. I understand the sims is like. an all ages game i do sometimes wish that the animations in 4 were a bit toned down#like i dont mind silly goofy wacky stuff i think its fun and like. The sims has always been a bit sillay yk. but the overexaggerated#animations r sometimes like -_-.... to me. but thats personal preference#IDK. the tags that show up when i type idk r so funny. do i ever know anything. sources say no#BUT ya i just rly wish like. if this is what they wanna do i wish theyd give us One more full game give it lots of time and love and rly rly#focus on having it excel at like. being this partnof the sims#since they wanna have like. Other sims games that have online features and multiplayer and everything. they could use that to make sure that#ts5 was Rly solid as a foundation and as like. ykwim..... they could plan updates for the future And dlc or whatever and i just think itd be#a better move than trying to make sims 4 happen#bc i judt dont think With all the updates in the world. sims 4 wont ever be like. what it couldve been. yk. i just dont think you can make#it work without Fullllyyyy just starting over.#and at this point with like..so many modders and stuff and everything and how much dlc there is thatd be impossible Esp if they keep#releasing new stuff which. They will ^_^#idk. im excited for some other lifesim games im keeping my eye out#but i rly do love the sims and i just wish that it could be as good as it could be. It has such a huge budget and team and like. if ea would#stop just trying to make as much money as possible off it i feel like they could make Such an amazing game. not to put down indie gamedevs#at all the games jve been looking at look Incredible like.. yk. but the fact those games are so good eith FAR smaller teams and budgets is#like. imagine what we could have if the sims had that amt of care and time put into it.#but whatever whatever whatever. sorry im just rambling#again ik what i would want from my platonic ideal of a sims game isnt what everyone would eant#but idk. i feel like another good step might be like. making the other sims games more available and updating them so they run better on#modern pcs. but i dont think thatll ever happen DNDNFJFNFN.
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there's a certain. we'll say comedy group. that i've watched clips of and enjoyed but i refuse to ever actively seek it out bc the fandom feels like a pressure cooker waiting to explode.
#they're already annoying me can you imagine if i was actually invested in any of this?#i feel like it always happens when the thing is very UWU WHOLESOME and the people involved appear to be good nice kind people#you create a culture of high expectations so if you ever mess up even a little bit that relationship with the fans is absolutely shattered#and inevitably the fans will eat each other alive at any opportunity bc as humans and as fans there is a small part of us that needs blood#and if there's no blood and guts in the original work we've gotta make it ourselves.#it happened with john mulaney the try guys even the mcelroy brothers to an extent. idk. it's an interesting phenomenon isn't it.#it's dr*pout by the way i wasn't gonna say the name bc i didn't want it to accidentally show up in the tags but after all that i kinda think#i have to name names. sorry.#they're funny but i can't do all of this again
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as much as i love his design i fucking CANT draw his expressions as exaggerated as i want to an its v frustrating
#kny sabito#sabito#fratboy sabito posting#neros art tag#halloween au#left side of his smile is limited bc his cheek scar and the right side is so wide he shows off his gums. like yk how when dogs/wolves snarl#they show off their gums that bit? he can only do that on the one side and he does it a lot#excited angry happy(he doesnt know how to smile 'normally') etc otherwise he creepy empty stare or scowl#Labyrinth (OOMPH!) came on and i started thinking of giyuu finding him in the labyrinth again#he literally had to fight for his fucking life. sabito wasnt being defensive he was going for the KILL. dead silent snapping jaws trying#to tear his armor off. giyuu tried to do the neck chop to knock him out but it only made him drop before getting back up a little#disoriented before he shook it off completely and kept trying to kill him. reinforcements came and darted him so they could actually#get him out and give him a medic check#the kitsune arm is way stronger than the rest of him#with that in mind actually he probably woulve broke giyuus arm or something. m gonna add that#also i genuinely didnt try with his smile in that second one i just wanted to get the general shape/idea/whatever bc i couldnt get it#how i wanted :(
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ok so
the instructions were for Wally, not the whrp/qa/You. which is especially interesting, because I think we all assumed they were instructions from Wally - after all, he's the one telling the whrp that they have work to do, he's sending envelopes (assumedly), he's sort of the driving force behind the whole in-universe project. he calls the shots, in a way. he's the one with the phone.
so who the hell is giving Wally instructions?
is it related to the distorted "extra" voice under Wally's in some of his hidden record audios? is it related to Sally's "monster"? is there someone else in Home?
just... there's a whole 'nother layer underneath Wally that i think is really scary. there's something else there, i feel. i Fear. i wonder if Wally is aware of it, or if he isn't quite as aware as we all - including him - like to think. how aware can a puppet be if they can't see their own strings (so to speak)? it's one thing to know what you are, and another entirely to understand what that entails.
#is there a puppetmaster? something or someone lurking underneath the surface?#i know there's not like... a Big Bad if i remember correctly#but im really suspicious that there is something Extra fucking with wally#like i really hope wally is acting of his own accord#but then again - what if its a mix of him acting on his own AND something else pushing him forward#is there something trying to get Out of home?#i think now of the 'im going to get it out' sentence from the about us page#i feel like wally is trying to stay In. i feel like he just wants to revive the show but he wants to Stay#so what the hell is trying get Out. to Leave#that sentence could just be talking about the show / memories of it#but now. im just. im thinking#homebogging#and i cant remember exactly but something about wally closing the guestbook bc it wasnt 'fun' anymore for some reason#i doubt the extra secret Something is home themself#because home seems to be Suffering to an extent from wally's attempts to connect with the 'outside' world#SO WHAT IS IT? HUH#i swear to fuck its connected to sally's so-called monster. the distortion. the spiral/eye pit. something looking through wally#which - no too many thoughts about that to say in tags#AND WHY IS WALLY DOING WHAT WHATEVER IT IS SAYS#is it automatic? like a 'oh. instructions. ill follow them' or does he Know who's talking to him or or or#i feel like an entire layer of the story was just revealed to us in one small simple marvelous update#who the hell is telling wally darling what to do...
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THOUGHT ABT CHIP JRWI INCIDENT 40 DEAD 32 WOUNDED
#im so fucking far behind so I feel like I can’t rlly say shit#bc either its shit I’ve already said or abt events I haven’t witnessed myself#so I can’t like. give MY take im going off second hand info anyway#idk I just. I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!#he’s so selfish and selfless and all he really wants is to protect and love#forever some part of him is stuck as that little boy on the black rose#whether it’s in his desire for family and crew or even just his… simple urge to do good for goods sake that children have#before hard reality and Reuben and the streets told him to keep to himself and only care abt him and his#idk I just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ya#it took gillion beating the shit out of him for that selfish shell to break#for him to realize like. hey. you’re impacting the ppl you interact with and you’re being a *dick*#and after we see him care more not just for his crew (like keeping his promise to gillion to not lie or just trying to know them better)#but like. signing for la alma. giving up grimms magic to revive people. stealing from royalty to give to an orphanage#loffinlot chip just… WOULDNT do that. it wouldn’t help him and just puts him at risk. just ignore it keep your head down and leave.#and even WITH that growth he’s still got that selfish streak— in the most positive sense of the term#him turning down Lizzie’s army offer in joaldo is him prioritizing those close to him over the needs of the many#(versus with Grimm doing what serves the most— self-sacrifice is easier to swallow)#anyway. tumblr mobile stopped showing my last tags like 7 lines ago so im stopping here just.#know that fucker is rotating in here again.
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Sometimes I really fucking envy the selfish assholes who just don't engage with the news/learn an current events. Like god it must be nice to live in your little bubble, only living in 'the moment' and the 'here and now' around you. It must be so peaceful to be able to see a YouTube short ab current events and say "hmm that's sad" and just scroll onto the next video without giving it a second thought. Must be so fucking peaceful being oblivious. Sometimes I want that. I want to be selfish and self centered, I mean I know I don't but... yknow??
#marquilla#my dr doesnt watch the news and she always responds to my anxiety ab current events to well stop watching the news#BITCH IT DOESN'T MATTER IF I WATCH IT OR NOT ITS STILL THERE its still on my feed regardless it's still existing and i KNOW#it's still existing and me being the fuckinh person i am i cant just turn a blind eye to this shit!#id LOVE to not know what the fuck is going on politically (god help me i wanna die so bad) id LOVE to not know what happened to that poor#little girl who was so fucking close to being saved but was essentially bait to lure in more needless casualties#id love to not know what the fuck is going on with climate change and with nato and with the un. ID LOVE TO BUT I CANT#limiting my online time isnt really an option bc again i cannot step away completely#i can try to limit my access by blacklisting tags and then choosing to hit show anyway on my own terms i can try watching something else#when the news is on i can try limiting how much news i watch BUT IT DOESNT HELP ME#i want to be oblivious i want to be selfish i want to be self centered. i want that fucking peace of mind these assholes have#i know i dont want to be that type of person i just want that mindlessness that illusion of freedom#but how do I obtain it yknow????#the trigger as usual is learning ab project 2025 and working myself into a spiral knowing its more than likely gonna happen and theres jack#shit i can do ab it and just AUGHHHH
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