#trying out different styles is something taylor swift inspired me to do

[c0smic-coral]

I had a private Saviors listening party the day after it dropped and when it got to Bobby Sox and I heard Billie Joe sing “do you wanna be my boyfriend?” my heart swelled because BILLIE JOE FUCKING ARMSTRONG WROTE A FUCKING BISEXUAL ANTHEM AND THE WORLD HAS GOTTEN TEN TIMES BETTER.

As far as being a bisexual rocker myself, it’s just cool to have a trio of them up there to look up to, you know?

Bobby Sox // Green Day

[bobfloydsbabe]

burning flames | eccentric professor!bob floyd x oc

a gold rush fic

SUMMARY: A heated argument reaches a fever pitch for Bob and his TA.

WARNINGS: academia au, enemies to lovers (if you squint), age gap (mid-to-late 20s/late 30s), power imbalance, mutual jealousy, SMUT (fingering), bob being grumpy and rude. strictly 18+/minors dni.

WORD COUNT: 2.3k

GOLD RUSH MASTERLIST

JOIN THE TAGLIST (new form–please sign up again if you haven't already)

SPECIAL THANKS to @cherrycola27 for letting me rant about professor bob and for sending thots when i ask for them. you're a real one.

A/N: very loosely inspired by the song style by taylor swift for the wonderful @laracrofted's 1989TGM writing celebration. this was supposed to be a mob boss bob fic, but that made me cry, so i switched gears and now here we are. i'm sorry this is so late, ames. enjoy!

“That’s all we have time for today. You’re dismissed.” He closes his book and listens to the sound of laptop lids being shut, chairs scraping against the old wooden floor, and chatter amongst his students. It’s a sound he’ll never tire of, no matter how long he teaches.

One sound is distinctly different, though. The sound of her voice. Sweet and soft. Lifting his eyes, he sees her talking to one of his students. Mike something. He can’t quite remember, but she laughs and puts her hand on his arm, making Bob clench his jaw.

Another student, Alicia, comes to his desk to talk about the upcoming assignment and what she can do to improve her grade. Normally, he would tell her to make an appointment at his office, but then Imogen laughs again, making heady eyes at that Mike guy, and he decides he has all the time in the world to talk to Alicia.

He tries to pay attention to his student, to answer her questions, and even tries to smile, but he can feel Imogen looking at him out of the corner of her eye. Her dark gaze is intense and sets his skin on fire in a way he’s been trying to ignore for weeks.

“So,” he hears Mike say. “What are your plans this weekend?”

Bob freezes. He lets his eyes wander over to Imogen, who’s still smiling. Next to him, Alicia is still talking, but her voice is far away and barely audible as he focuses on his assistant.

“I’m revising my dissertation proposal,” she tells him. “They rejected the last one for being too broad, so I have to narrow it down.”

Bob’s on that committee and strongly disagreed, but other members outnumbered him and he was forced to dissent. Dr. Kazansky had given her the news, and Bob remembers the heartbroken look in her eyes when she came to his office afterward. He’d wanted to comfort her then.

“Too busy to have dinner with me?”

Bob straightens his back, eyes still trained on Imogen as he dismisses Alicia, telling her to make an appointment if she wishes to discuss things further.

She mutters a thank you and scurries away. Imogen opens her mouth to answer, but Bob interrupts, certain he doesn’t want to hear the answer she’ll likely provide to this Mike character.

“Miss Van Doren,” he says, barely recognizing the hardness in his own voice. “My office. Now.”

He doesn’t wait for her to respond, but gathers his books and leaves the lecture hall without a glance back to see if she’s following. It doesn’t take long for him to hear her marching footsteps behind him, so he leaves the door open for her.

She slams it shut, so it rattles on the hinges.

“What is your problem?”

She’s furious. Nostrils flared, heavy breathing, and a delicious flush paints her cheeks pink.

“My problem?” he asks, placing the books on his desk. “What’s your problem?”

She drops her bag to the floor and crosses her arms in front of her chest. The gold necklace with her initial catches in the light, drawing his eyes down.

“I don’t have a problem,” she insists, taking a step toward him. “But you constantly berating me is getting old.”

He says nothing. He can’t. Not when she’s looking at him like she wants to wring his neck. Not when all the blood in his body is racing south, and he’s trying not to look at her legs, but they are on full display in that tight little skirt she’s wearing. Again.

He swears she’s doing it on purpose to rile him up.

He hates that it’s working.

She takes a deep breath, pushing her shoulders back, and looks up into his eyes. He’s always found hers unsettling, like she sees the parts of him he’s been hiding for decades.

“I know you don’t want me here, Dr. Floyd,” she says, gesturing around his office, making her short skirt even shorter, revealing more of her supple thighs. “You’ve made that abundantly clear, but you could at least show me the courtesy of not undermining me every time I talk to students.”

He frowns. “I don’t undermine you.”

She scoffs, gaze leaving him as her frustration fills the room. “You interrupted my conversation with Michael not five minutes ago,” she argues as her eyes find his again. Dark brown meeting ocean blue.

He steps forward, eyes wandering over every inch of her exposed skin, making his head spin with barely contained desire. “It was an inappropriate conversation.”

“He asked about my dissertation.”

Bob shakes his head. “No, he asked you out.”

“So what?” she throws her hands out to the side, exasperation turning into full-blown anger now. “He’s been trying to ask me out for weeks, but you always manage to interrupt. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you do it on purpose.”

He freezes. His heart’s beating painfully in his chest and his face feels like it’s on fire. There may even be steam coming out of his ears.

He watches Imogen run her hands through her hair, pulling at the roots, and he truly wishes she wouldn’t. It’s conjuring up very vivid images in his head that he shouldn’t have of his teaching assistant.

She looks at him expectantly, thinking an answer is going to come, but it doesn’t. He doesn’t know how to respond to that in a way that’ll make sense to her. It barely even makes sense to himself.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Bob says finally.

She scoffs. “Yeah, well, he treats me better than you do, and I know that’s a really low bar, but it’s better than—”

Bob crashes his lips against hers, swallowing the gasp she emits. For a moment nothing happens, and for a second he thinks he’s made a grave mistake, but then Imogen’s arms circle around his waist and she sighs against his mouth. 

He walks her backward until her back hits the wall behind his desk, and he presses her against it, trying to get closer.

He pulls away a few inches to look at her. Cheeks flushed, hair a little out of place, and pupils dilated. She’s never looked more delectable, and he knows she can feel his hard cock against her hip. He doesn’t care.

Taking a deep breath, her eyes search his face for something, but it’s unclear whether she finds it. “Why did you do that?”

Her voice is barely above a whisper. There’s no hint of regret, but the rational part of him knows this is a bad idea. He’s her superior, after all.

“You wouldn’t shut up.”

“So you kissed me?” she asks with an adorable wrinkle between her brows.

He frowns. Now sure he’s misjudged the situation, Bob leans back and squares his shoulders, letting his hands fall away from her neck.

“Oh no,” she tuts and grabs a handful of his sweater, pulling him back in. “Get back here.” She stands on her tiptoes and captures his mouth with her own, tongue dancing at the seam of his lips for entry.

He doesn’t have to be told twice. He leans his weight against her, pushing her against the wall, and groans into her mouth when she tugs on his hair.

His hands travel down her body. Grazing across the swell of her breasts, into the dip of her waist, the hips that have occupied his thoughts for weeks, and finally, her thighs. His lips never leave hers, and his tongue explores her mouth and the taste of mint that lingers from her toothpaste.

Imogen shudders as his fingertips tickle the back of her knees, whimpering at the touch.

His hands slide up the back of her bare thighs, feeling her soft skin under his palms. She moans into his mouth and it’s the most arousing sound he’s ever heard. He can’t help the roll of his hips, desperate for friction, for relief, for something warmer than his own hand.

His hands travel up under her skirt, feeling the plumpness of her ass in his hands make him push against her again and she’s meeting him with her own movement.

“Professor,” she moans, as he trails wet kisses along her throat, running his tongue over the skin afterward.

He hums, kneading her ass-cheeks, growing harder as he rocks against her. Even separated by layers of fabric, the friction is enough to drive him mad.

“Dr. Floyd,” she says, pulling his hair hard enough that his lips detach from her throat. Her pupils are wide and hungry, mirroring his own, and their heavy breaths mix in arousing unison. “I’m still mad at you.”

A smug smirk spreads across his face. “I know,” he says and removes one hand from her ass. He uses it to brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Don’t go out with him.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t stop thinking about you.”

The words hang in the air. Bob keeps one hand on the side of her neck while the other remains under her skirt, playing with the edge of her panties. He holds her gaze, waiting for her to make the next move. To tell him where she stands, what she wants.

He sees the moment she decides, the corner of her mouth turning upward just enough to be a smile.

“Show me.”

Yanking her panties to the side, his fingertips glide along her folds, feeling her already soaking for him. Her mouth forms a perfect o as she gasps, and he wonders what else that pretty and vicious mouth can do.

Her fingers curl into the hair at his nape, gasping when he finds her clit. “So pretty like this,” he whispers, kissing the underside of her jaw.

“Professor,” she whimpers. “Please.”

“Come on,” he says, leaning back to watch her. Her brown doe eyes have gone dark with hunger and desire, arousal clear from the bead of sweat on her temple, and his cock is so hard he’s about to go insane. Yet, he still leans in close, his lips featherlight against her ear and whispers “moan for me.”

He leans back just in time to catch the look in her eyes when he presses his thumb against her clit and she lets herself moan. Louder than he expected, so his hand flies over her mouth, keeping her quiet, but feeling her smile beneath his palm.

His thumb massages her clit while his index finger finds her entrance, warmth begging him to enter. Bob meets Imogen’s eyes, asking without saying the words because he doesn’t trust either of them to keep their voices down.

Her nod sends him to heaven.

She moans into his hand as his finger slides inside her. He’s hot all over, groaning into her neck at the sensation of her. “So fucking tight,” he mumbles against her skin, making her clench around him.

Tightening her arms around his shoulders, she whimpers against his palm, and her hips meet his motions as he pumps his finger inside her. Her juices spread across his hand, and before long, he adds a second finger.

His office fills with the sounds of heavy breathing, muffled moans from Imogen, and barely contained groans from himself. He can feel her getting close, her legs trembling, struggling to stay upright. Leaning his forehead against hers, he removes his hand from her mouth. “Quiet,” he mutters against her lips.

She nods as she kisses him, open-mouthed and desperate, and his thumb draws tight circles on her clit as he angles his fingers against that spot inside her. She’s there. He knows it. “Good girl,” he whispers. “Cum for me.”

She does. Gushes around his fingers, writhing in his arms. He guides her through her high, holding her against the wood-paneled wall behind her. Her head falls against his shoulder as she comes down, and a long whine escapes her throat as he withdraws his fingers.

Leaning back to give her a little space, he takes in her unkempt hair, swollen lips, and the breathtaking pink flush in her cheeks. Her eyes flick down to his hand, then turn to the very obvious bulge in his slacks.

“I–”

She takes his hand, the one with fingers covered in her cum, and brings it to her lips. Keeping her eyes locked on his, she closes her mouth around his digits, swirling her tongue around them, tasting herself. He’s entranced, can’t stop watching her when she hums as if it’s the most delicious meal she’s ever had.

She withdraws his fingers with a pop, letting his hand fall back at his side. They stay there, looking at each other, processing what just happened between them. Not only is she his teaching assistant, but he’s on her dissertation committee. He has power and influence, and while she’s not his student, he is her superior.

“I…” he tries again, but trails off.

She smirks, squaring her shoulders. “Close your mouth, Dr. Floyd,” she says and sidesteps him, adjusting her skirt. “You’re too smart to be a mouth breather.”

She crosses the office, gathering her bag from the floor where she dropped it, and he gets a peek at her panties as she bends over. White lace. His slacks have never felt tighter.

Unsure what to say or do, he stands there watching while Imogen tries to make her hair look presentable. “Alright,” she mumbles after a minute. “See you tomorrow.”

The door closes behind her, leaving Bob in his office, surrounded by books, paper, a chessboard, a laptop he’s forced to own, and the memory of his TA coming undone on his fingers.

There’s only one word to describe the situation he now finds himself in.

“Fuck.”

likes are nice, but reblogs and comments are golden

TAGLIST: @roosterforme, @kmc1989, @bradshawsbaby, @cherrycola27, @wkndwlff, @yanna-banana, @bluezraven, @fandom-princess-forevermore, @hangmandruigandmav, @keyrani, @just-in-case-iloveyou, @solo-pitstop-vibes, @yuckosworld, @have-a-nice-day-k, @writingshae, @the-whitegirl-is-back, @dizzydisaster, @floydsmuse

[viennajoell]

Can you make an imagine about a younger Hughes sister (like 13-14) feeling left out or just unappreciated by her family. Something like the song Matilda or little freak by harry styles or yoyok by Taylor swift??

also I love your work

Matilda

Notes: inspired by Matilda by Harry styles

Also I hate this

-

It's 10 pm and I'm just getting home from my volleyball game.

Of course my parents didn't come. They never do, their to "busy" watching my brothers.

My teammates and coaches notice that every time i look into the stands i get quiet and in my head. I act like I don't care.

"So you tie up your hair and you smile like its no big deal"

But in reality I'm more mad than sad. They went to every single one of my brothers game why can't they come to one of mine?!

Ever i since I quit hockey and my brothers all went pro I've been pushed off to the side.

My brothers didn't care about school what so ever so they got praised for just barley passing classes while I have A's in all my classes and all i get is a "good job"

Where's my hug and ice cream??

My friends say I'm being dramatic and that they love my parents.

It's not that I don't its that I'm being treated differently and not being appreciated.

So you know what i did...

I stopped caring.

I stopped trying to get their attention.

I didn't answer calls from my brothers because they just stand behind my parents and act like nothing is wrong.

"Y/N! You have to answer your brothers calls" my mom Ellen yells. "Why?" I scoff. "Cause you haven't answered any of them for months" she replies. "Okay" I reply, rolling my eyes and walking out the door for school.

I had a test and i aced it. But instead of telling my parents to try and get some sort of validation i kept it to myself and continued doing that.

I continued getting better at volley ball after my parents repeatedly told me I would regret quitting hockey and would hate volleyball.

But here i am four years later playing volley ball for OSU.

"You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up"

I didn't tell a soul where i was committing to.

Of course people knew i had offers but i never announced where i was going.

The day I turned 18 i packed my stuff and left without a word.

My phone was blowing up from my parents.

Why do they care now when its to late?

"You don't have to be sorry, no”

[wonryllis]

please give writing tips too

sure love! everyone’s different so in no way would the same things work for all but these are some tips that have helped me improve and just you know expand my horizons.

feel free to add your own points to this to help people more!!

001. READ READ AND READ (I CAN’T STRESS ENOUGH ON THIS BUT THIS IS THE MAIN KEY). be it fics, or novels or normal story books even non-fiction. reading will help in expanding your vocabulary and grammar, and give you an idea on how to build words in different kinds of scenarios. how to set the mood and what kind of details will have the most impact.

002. for expanding your vocabulary i would suggest searching up words you come across and don’t know the meaning of. don’t skip them, search them up and try understanding what they mean and look through what other words have similar meanings(synonyms)

003. CONSTANTLY PRACTICE WRITING. even if you’re not going to post it anywhere, just try writing a little bit on different themes. in that way you will be able to find out more about your writing style and flair as well as what points you need to work on.

004. STOP HESITATING TO REWRITE. there’s hardly anything one gets right at the first shot. and the same goes for writing. rewriting pieces will help you figure out what you should’ve added that you didn’t the first time and how changing the order of words or adding new literary devices(metaphors, similes, anecdotes etc) can make more of an impact.

005. DON’T BE AFRAID TO EXPLORE DIFFERENT GENRES. just 100 words can also help with experience. search up different genres that interest you and try coming up with a short scenario if you can.

13 points more under the cut!

006. TRIAL AND ERROR. don’t be let down if you fail to write a specific type of au, theme or trope. it takes certain amount of time and experience to be able to write different genres or anything as such. you need to have exposure to that topic to be able to create imagination on it.

007. with that being said, when you pick up a certain trope, au, theme or any topic you want/plan to write on: DO PROPER AND A LOT OF RESEARCH. trust me, it helps a lot.

008. as well in relation to the point above when writing a story, make sure to plan a rough outline. what kind of characters you’re going for, what events are going to define your story, how do you want the ending and the beginning to be. what your protagonist(s) is going for, what all they would be facing throughout and such.

009. SET A MORAL/POINT OF VIEW YOU WANT TO CONVEY through your writing. it helps you have a basis, a particular aim and drive behind what you wish to leave an impression through. it could be anything complex like dark themes of toxicity or even anything as simple as comfort. you just need to know what you’re writing for.

010. for inspiration i would suggest, LISTENING TO SONGS. any song you’re listening to, try thinking of a story behind it. for example let’s take taylor swift’s “no body no crime” go through the lyrics, the vibe and think what type of story could have this as background music. or what kind of a story could have that type of no body no crime summary?

011. KNOW WHEN TO SHOW THINGS RATHER THAT TELLING THEM. too much of anything is never good. when writing, it’s important to keep the balance between descriptions, narratives and dialogues. try thinking what are the things that would be better when described, for example the relationship between your characters: it’s something which is better shown than told. like how they treat each other, how they see each other, their dynamics in general is not something that can be told through a big lengthy dialogue or JUST one paragraph(short drabbles being an exception)

012. an additional point to the one above would be, try keeping yourself in the reader’s position and see what pulls you in more. what makes you feel the emotions better.

013. PICTURE THE SETTING YOU WANT TO WRITE ON. close your eyes and think of any type of place that you would like to write the story in. a suburb? or an abandoned city for an apocalypse? this will help in brainstorming for ideas.

014. INTO THE CHARACTER’S MIND. this is a very important point. explore the world within the mind of the character, something that defines them. THIS IS ANOTHER BIG KEY TO IMPROVE, pull your readers into the character(s)’ mind, show them the fears, the memories, the feelings, the thoughts, the hopes and dreams. it helps them understand the character and get into the story.

015. when using dialogues keep in mind that the DIALOGUES SHOULD ALWAYS BE MEANINGFUL AND REALISTIC. unnecessary talks aren’t often attractive so write what is necessary, needed. even with humor, excessive fun is not always impressive. and short but impactful dialogues always literally always leave the best impression.

016. CHALLENGE YOURSELF. try starting off strong since the very beginning. strong meaning starting off with words that leave a lasting impression. or words that pull you in with intrigue.

017. LEARN TO PACE YOURSELF. first of all it’s okay to take a break. actually its very important. pushing yourself beyond limits would never give positive results. know when you need to stop, cause being tired is not going to give better ideas or better word building. let yourself go into writer’s block, don’t fight it. you’ll come back better than when you’re forcing yourself to stay put and continue.

018. and last but not least. KNOW THAT IMPROVEMENT TAKES TIME. don’t be disappointed or discouraged if you are not good today. not being good today doesn’t mean you won’t ever be good. keep trying and with little to little progress over time, you will see yourself getting there. don’t lose hope🤗! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

[foxes-that-run]

The Lakes

The lakes is about escaping the challenging aspects of Taylor Swift's life with her muse to form an artist community like Wordsworth and Keats had in the Lakes district in the 19th century.

Above, the Lyric video shows wildflowers, LK has referenced this song and Harry also has for a Pleasing campaign. In the vertical video Taylor is on a swing, reminiscent of the swing in Seven, possibly about Harry. Finally a photo with a swan in The Lakes District.

In the Long Pond Session Taylor said (I've shortened it)

'The Lakes is a testament of what I wanted to escape from and where I saw myself escaping to. We'd gone to the Lake District in England a couple years ago. In the 19th century you had a lot of poets like William Wordsworth and John Keats. There was a poet district. They had their own community of other artists, which I've always in my career.' Jack: 'it's not just I've found something worth escaping to it’s a person to escape with.” Taylor agreed "That's a huge sincere statement of hope, everything I'm naming is completely small compared to this love.” “Hoax as the ending song was interesting for a couple weeks but then I wanted the real last song. The Lakes shows you exactly what the overarching theme of the whole album of trying to escape and having something you want to protect, protect your own sanity and saying look they did this hundreds of years ago, I'm not the first person who's felt this way.

Taylor said they had gone to the lakes "a couple of years ago", and she described a poet district with an artist community, meaning fellow songwriters. She had been to the Lakes with a couple of years ago with on her first trip there with Harry Styles on her birthday in 2012. At the time Taylor said it was her best birthday since she was 6. Like Taylor, Harry has a similar experience of fame and is a lyricist. Harry has also sung about being in an artist community with Taylor, in Canyon Moon, which has a very similar idea as The Lakes.

I have seen people refer to the Invisible String Lyric "Our three-year trip / Getting lunch down by the Lakes" to point to Joe. While not photographed, their 3rd anniversary was October 2019, or 6 months before this song was recorded. 'A couple of years ago' rather than 'last year' implies the earlier trip. Joe is also not a lyricist, she spoke about an artist community. He is credited as a producer on Folklore. Taylor described how William Bowery wrote the melody's not lyrics.

Lyrics

Is it romantic how all my elegies eulogize me? I'm not cut out for all these cynical clones These hunters with cell phones

An elegie is the speech at a funeral, her songs, particularly those she is reclaiming are like diary. She lost her eulogie, the story of her life.

The last line refers back to 'I Know Places' "They are the hunters, we are the foxes" where she and Harry ran from paparazzi, now they hide from every person with a cell phone.

Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm setting off, but not without my muse

Taylor is saying she is not cut out for the music industry life, she lost the rights to her diary, constantly photographed. In the Long Pond she referred to having this plan for years, which she foreshadowed for Lover, and I think Harry's Peace ring. I think they may have shared this plan when they first visited for when she turned 30 and into 2020. Folklore is about communication and how life differs to what a 23 year old planned.

The final line is so lovely, her muse is Harry Styles. No other partner has inspired so much work or so much success, they have inspired and encouraged each other to do their best work. Even when they are with others for years they still write about each other. When they see each other they are prolific. Harry has even sung about how he writes too much about her. I could list what proportion of awards and hits are about this relationship, but let's stay in the Windermere peaks.

Despite their success Taylor does not think they are cut out for this life. Taylor has sung about Harry's anxiety in New Years Day and Now that we don't talk, it's also apparent watching him at award shows in his solo career. This song and many (Mirrorball, I know places, Slut!, You're on your own kid) are about how fame impacted Taylor.

What should be over burrowed under my skin In heart-stopping waves of hurt I've come too far to watch some namedropping sleaze Tell me what are my words worth

The first line I think could have 2 meanings, one that the relationship should be over but it is not and the waves are hurt of not being together. Or, and I think this because of the second half, Taylor cannot let her masters go. The last line is a pun on the worth of her words and the poet William Wordsworth.

I want auroras and sad prose I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet 'Cause I haven't moved in years And I want you right here A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground With no one around to tweet it While I bathe in cliffside pools With my calamitous love and insurmountable grief

I want auroras and sad prose, refers to Harry Styles. She describes his eyes as “aurora borealis green” in Snow on the Beach. She also describes him as sad boy in Question..?, he does write sad prose.

In the Long Pond Session Taylor said "I could see this you know you you live in a cottage and you've got Wisteria growing up the outside of it and you just why you know of course they escaped like that." William Wordsworths cottage (below) has wisteria growing on the side, which is a slow growing purple plant, almost a lavender haze!

I love the imagery of 'Red rose grew out of rose in frozen ground', because it refers to Rose, which is a Haylor theme. But also because it refers to the track before Hoax: "My winless fight, this has frozen my ground" It also refers to a theme of hiding their love, "I would die for you secret" in Peace, that something beautiful and no one needs to know about it.

The last lines are so poetic and dramatic I love them. Calamitous love refers to a love that’s “built to fall apart (and back together)” in OOTW or "a crooked love in a straight line down” in IWYW. Taylor used a similar word discussing SOTB, calling it cataclysmic love. Taylor describes her dramatic and passionate relationship with Harry rather than staide and safe one described with Joe.

Her insurmountable grief is all she’s lost, her masters, the things she gave up in your own your own kid and things she has to pine about.

Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm setting off, but not without my muse No, not without you

Love this chorus, such beautiful poetry about poets and love.

[fear-less]

Taylor Swift song master-list

info: i write fics inspired by Taylor’s songs, i’m planning on making most, if not all, of her songs into fics.

feel free to request for any song:3

——————————————————————————

taylor swift (debut)

tim mcgraw

picture to burn

teardrops on my guitar

a place in this world

cold as you

the outside

tied together with a smile

stay beautiful

should’ve said no

mary’s song - fred weasley x reader

our song

i’m only me when i’m with you

invisble

a perfectly good heart

——————————————————————————

fearless

fearless

fifteen

love story

hey stephen

white horse - sirius black x reader

you belong with me

breathe

tell me why

you’re not sorry

the way i loved you

forever & always

the best day

change

jump then fall - harry potter x reader

untouchable

come in with the rain

superstar

the other side of the door

today was a fairytale

you all over me

mr. perfectly fine

we were happy

that’s when

don’t you

bye bye baby

if this was a movie

——————————————————————————

speak now

mine

sparks fly

back to december

speak now

dear john

mean

the story of us

never grow up

enchanted

better than revenge

innocent

haunted

last kiss

long live

ours

superman

electric touch

when emma falls in love

i can see you

castles crumbling

foolish one

timeless

——————————————————————————

red

state of grace

red

treacherous

i knew you were trouble

all too well

22

i almost do

we are never ever getting back together

stay stay stay

the last time - james potter x reader x regulus black

holy ground

sad beautiful tragic

the lucky one

everything has changed

starlight

begin again

the moment i knew

come back…be here

girl at home

state of grace

better man

nothing new

babe

message in a bottle

i bet you think about me

forever winter

run

the very first night

safe and sound

all too well (10 min ver)

——————————————————————————

1989

welcome to new york

blank space

style

out of the woods

all you had to do was stay

shake it off

i wish you would

bad blood

wildest dreams

how you get the girl

this love

i know places

clean

wonderland

you are in love

new romantics

“slut!”

say don’t go

now that we don’t talk

suburban legends

is it over now?

——————————————————————————

reputation

…ready for it?

end game

i did something bad

don’t blame me

delicate

look what you made me do

so it goes…

gorgeous

getaway car

king of heart

dancing with our hands tied

dress - harry potter x reader

this is why we can’t have nice things

call it what you want

new year’s day

i don’t wanna live forever

——————————————————————————

lover

i forgot that you existed

cruel summer

lover

the man

the archer

i think he knows

miss americana & the heartbreak prince

paper rings

cornelia street

death by a thousand cuts

london boy

soon you’ll get better

false god - harry potter x reader

you need to calm down

afterglow

me!

it’s nice to have a friend

daylight

all of the girls you’ve loved before - james potter

——————————————————————————

folklore

the 1

cardigan

the last great american dynasty

exile

my tears ricochet

mirror ball

seven

august

this is me trying

illicit affairs

invisible string

mad women

epiphany

betty

peace

hoax

the lakes

——————————————————————————

evermore

willow

champagne problems

gold rush

‘tis the damn season

tolerate it

no body, no crime

happiness

dorthea

coney island

ivy

cowboy like me

long story short

closure

evermore

right where you left me

it’s time to go

——————————————————————————

midnights

lavender haze

maroon - fred weasley x reader

anti hero

snow on the beach

you’re on your own, kid

midnight rain

question…?

vigilante shit

bejeweled

labyrinth

karma

sweet nothing

mastermind

the great war

bigger than the whole sky

paris

high infidelity

glitch

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve

dear reader

hits different

you’re losing me

——————————————————————————

the tortured poets department

fortnight

the tortured poets department

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

down bad

so long, london

but daddy i love him

fresh out the slammer

flordia!!!

guilty as sin?

who’s afraid of little old me?

i can fix him (no really i can)

loml

i can do it with a broken heart

the smallest man who ever lived

the alchemy

clara bow

the black dog

imgonnagetyouback

the albatross

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

how did it end?

so high school

i hate it here

thanK you aImee

i look in peoples windows

the prophecy

cassandra

peter

the bolter

robin

the manuscript

[kasagia]

How do you get into writing. I have just started and would love some tips. Xxx

And this surprised me very much, dear anonymous. 😅🙈

I'm not some kind of 'guru' on this or a professional writer or anyone who is... qualified or even learning in this direction to tell the others how to do it and get into writing or give some tips or anything. I believe that everyone should find their own way.

Writing is just my hobby, but I'll try to answer something for you, dear anonymous. And I hope it will be helpful somehow. 🩵🖤🩵

You can't force yourself.

At least it doesn't work for me. I can't set times for myself when I should sit down and just write. And even if I do, the things I write are... kind of shallow and unnatural (at least when I read them).

Inspiration comes by itself, and sometimes you have to stimulate your imagination yourself.

You've probably ever had this feeling where various ideas and words come to your head, and sometimes there's a barren void and you can't put together one sensible sentence or figure out what to do next with the plot.

I get inspired through music and edits on YouTube or Instagram about the characters I write about. They stimulate my imagination to create new scenarios and stories. ESPECIALLY THE MUSIC. (TAYLOR SWIFT, LANA DEL REY, FLORENCE, RUELLE, BIRDY I LOVE YOU!!!!)

It is helpful to imagine the scene in your head.

You don't know how to write what a given character should do next? You don't like leaving only dialogue? Imagine that you are talking to a given hero. What would you do, and what would he or she do? Does he move his hands, approach, move away, frown, laugh, fix his hair—all these movements that we observe every day when we talk to others or watch a movie?

Imagining myself in a given situation helps me write not only the dialogues but also the environment around them. So, mainly, the movement of the second character. I don't necessarily like descriptions of landscapes and places personally; I only do it when I have to and need it for the plot. I'm not an expert at this; I know I still need to work on it, so for now, this is my solution when it comes to writing these other things around the dialogue.

Constantly writing is essential.

You can't give up after the first few tries. We are constantly improving our writing, and so on.

I'm afraid to read my first oneshots because my writing style has evolved since this all time and since I've been writing "publicly." AND THAT'S NORMAL. At least I think so.

Everyone has their own beginnings and started somewhere, and this path is beautiful—these first excitements, the satisfaction that someone liked and commented on your work. (IT STILL IS! SHOWING THE AUTHOR WITH LOVE AND ADORATION IS VERY IMPORTANT IF YOU WANT TO BE FEED WITH CONTENT! xD) 😅

And over time, the longer you stay at it, the more you want to keep going (at least for me).

But sometimes writing block comes and you just have to simply wait it out. What helps me is listening to music (different from the songs I know) or reading someone else's work. The brain remembers how fun it is to write and suddenly you feel like writing.

BUT we don't copy other people's work or use an idea that someone else had. The golden rule. Besides the fact that it's wrong, immoral, and just plain not cool, who wants to read about the same thing all the time? Creativity is key. (ALTHOUGH NOBODY WILL TAKE THE MOON SUMMONER AND DARKLING FROM ME. THIS IS MY HOLINESS SHIP AND I WILL WRITE ABOUT IT AS MUCH AS I WANT. UNFOLLOW OR BLOCK - I DON'T CARE. xD) 🙈🙈

This is not a grade assignment for school; there is no wrong way to write. And as long as YOU are satisfied and happy, then write.

This is probably the most important thing. It's supposed to be fun—playing with words and imagination, creating your own story with the character you love, creating your own world, having fun. You can share it with other people or keep it for yourself. The choice is yours.

Haters will be everywhere; you can't avoid them, but I believe that nobody can please all people.

Some will like it, others will not, and that is also beautiful—that each of us likes different things, that we are not stuck in one monotonous way of thinking, and that we simply like different things.

Create a writing atmosphere may help.

It's good for some people. A candle, a blanket, coffee, tea and other drinks. Just you and your laptop or anything else.

Words matter.

I remember Googling every time to learn how to say this and that in English. Is it possible to use this and that meaning of the word for a given situation? Or when I was writing a dance scene and I was wondering how to write different moments, I went to Google to check what the hell to call it.

The more you write, the more practice you have with it, and the more you remember the words you need. (If your native language is not English, like mine.)

And adjectives. They are important because when someone else reads them, they can better imagine the situation. But as I said, I'm not sure about the rest—the description of the situation and feelings. I feel like I'm writing a bit too much, maybe boring; maybe I could skip some parts and focus more on others? I don't know, so I won't say much about it. 😅😅😅

I hope I helped somehow! Although I'm not sure if I'm the right person for this or if my mumbling will help you.

Have a nice day! 🩵🖤🩵🖤🩵🖤🩵🖤🩵🖤🩵🖤🩵🖤

[thatwouldbee-enough]

😅🎢🎶🛠⛔🌞❌💲🧐🎃🦅👀🤗💞🤲😬⌛ anyfandom!

Ahhhh thank you so much for this! Sorry it took a while there were so many to answer <3

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

Anything from the very very early days of my AO3 account lol. They weren't bad but there's definitely so many things when I go back and read them where I would write things a lot differently now

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Oh man. Interpreting wildest ride in two different ways here.

1 (craziest/most disturbing): Let Me Crawl Up Into Your Mind

2 (wild ride plot-wise): Fate and the Fall

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Yes!!! Some songs from recent writing playlists:

this is me trying by Taylor Swift

The Cause by Tommy Lefroy

Paul Revere by Noah Kahan

reckless driving by Lizzy McAlpine

Letter to an Old Poet by boygenius

Partners in Crime by FINNEAS

tolerate it by Taylor Swift

Colorado by Renee Rapp

You Could Start a Cult by Niall Horan w/Lizzy McAlpine

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

So many 😬

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

Honestly either early in the morning right after I wake up or middle of the night lmao. Middle of the night has given me some of my best writing for real but at what cost

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I don't like to say never on any tropes because I think with the right idea any trope can be done well. Some things that I tend to stay away from are heavy mental health fix it style stories because 1) I don't feel qualified enough to write that well and 2) I don't find them super interesting usually. Exploring darker storylines is always more fun for me, or mayyyybe the occasional fluffy romance lol

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

For fanfiction based on someone else's intellectual property, no, because there are legal issues there. For writing in general maybe, but I don't see a huge market for that

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Way too much time

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

Occasionally! Maybe Sleigh Bells Ring for a favorite. Most of the holiday pieces I've written have been very fluffy lol

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

It's a mix. Usually seat of my pants, but if I have a lot of details worked out in my brain already then I'll outline

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I have a TBOSAS piece that I'm working on where Coriolanus's punishment after cheating in the Games is to be sold as a sex worker (similar to how Finnick was in THG series) rather than being forced to enlist with the peacekeepers and he ends up with Strabo Plinth as a client.......

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I cannot recommend enough just... doing it. Everyone worries so much about it not being good enough, but just like every other skill, you'll never get better without practice and just doing the damn thing over and over again.

Also read a lot. Read fanfic and actual books. You pick up a lot of things as a writer when you're reading other people's work. Sometimes you'll see certain ways of writing dialogue or inner monologues that you love and want to incorporate into your own writing. Sometimes you'll see things that pull you out of the story or don't flow well, and you'll learn that it's something you don't want to include in your writing. All of it is useful.

And MOST importantly, please please please learn how to properly format your dialogue 😭 (this is just a pet peeve of mine, but SO MANY fics don't have proper dialogue formatting)

ex: "This is the correct way to format a spoken sentence," she said sternly. "When you write a spoken sentence followed by a dialogue tag, the dialogue tag is PART of the sentence, so you should end the 'spoken sentence' with a comma, and then add the dialogue tag (starting with a lower case letter if it's not a proper noun), and then the sentence ends."

"This is correct too!" she exclaimed.

"This is also correct," she explained, "because the dialogue sentence hasn't ended, it was just interrupted. When dialogue is interrupted, but the sentence hasn't ended, the dialogue tag is surrounded by commas, indicating a whole, ongoing sentence."

INCORRECT EXAMPLES:

"This is not the correct way to format a spoken sentence." She said, crying a little bit on the inside.

"Neither is this!" She exclaimed.

"And neither is this." she sighed, rubbing at her temples as intentionally writing dialogue incorrectly began to trigger a headache.

💞 Who's your comfort character?

For Hamilton/Amrev, it's probably Hamilton. Sorry, basic bitch answer.

For TBOSAS it's Sejanus <3

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

A snippet from the TBOSAS AU with Coriolanus and Strabo Plinth that I mentioned above 🙈

But fighting? Fleeing? He thought back to the arena. The way his heart had pounded as he smashed at Bobbin until he laid unmoving on the ground.  He refused to let that sort of response control him again. He was better than base instincts. Especially here. This wasn’t life or death. All he had to do was play things smart, and he would come out on top again eventually.  And then everyone who ever tried to make him feel small would pay. 

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

Literally any of the smut lmfao.

But specifically the Henry Laurens/Alexander Hamilton fucked up intern AU, Let Me Crawl Up Into Your Mind, and A Royal Affair are probably all up there for top contenders

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

Highly dependent on a lot of different variables (what I'm writing/whether it requires research/what else is going on in my life/level of motivation and focus/etc). Anywhere from a couple of hours to a month lmao

[dugdale100]

I was lucky enough to be asked by AbelCine to discuss the Cine capture of live music.

Deep dive into the tech side of what we do....

In our latest Creative Forces conversation, Jeff Lee sits down with multi Grammy nominated and Emmy, BAFTA, and DGA Award winning director Paul Dugdale who is known for creating outstanding music documentaries, concert films, and global live events with the likes of The Rolling Stones, Adele, Ariana Grande, Harry Styles, Coldplay, Taylor Swift, Paul McCartney, and Elton John.

Their in-depth conversation covers Dugdale’s approach to capturing live performances, working with artists, when to use new technology (and when not to), collaborating on set, and much more. Here are some highlights:

Paul Dugdale on his early influences and being inspired by his father who was in the business and brought him on jobs as a teen:

“I was so into music at that point, and he was taking me to mostly concerts and big awards shows and stuff that I just completely got the bug at that point. Even before then, he had once asked me when I was a really small kid about imagining a song and what the music video would be like for it. And I remember just being able to answer him instantly, like I had already thought about music in sort of visual terms, really kind of strange.”

Dugdale on his goals when capturing live concerts:

“The intention is to literally embody that stage production and try to maximize, emphasize, all of the best parts of it, and try and translate that to screen. And also to try to capture the relationship between artist and audience in the room…. I think that’s where the magic happens, so to speak, is where you can really show what it feels like to be there, not only what it looks like. That’s my recurring intention, is just to get the absolute maximum out of every show and show what it feels like to be in front of that artist and listing to that music.”

Dugdale on live gigs versus home viewing:

“I think it’s just a different thing. [During COVID, people were saying music streamed without an audience was ‘as good as a gig’.] I definitely don’t think it’s as good as a gig. I love going to see live music. I think it’s totally different. But we’re the next possible best thing.… Whether we can recreate the feeling of being in that room or not, we can certainly show you more. At least we’ve got that going for us…. That’s the most important thing to me, to try and make you feel something at home.”

Dugdale on his career:

“I feel incredibly lucky to do what I do. It’s hard work, but it doesn’t feel like work because it’s so fun. Part of the reason I’m so lucky is that the range of music and the variety of artists that you get to work with is so broad that it just makes things so exciting and interesting for someone as curious as me… [W]orking on these concerts, because each one is different and the music always requires a different dynamic to how we film it and our approach, essentially, it’s a new script every show. It just never gets boring. Long may it continue.”

———

Watch the full video, above, to hear more about Paul Dugdale’s approach to capturing live musical performances and see some outstanding footage from his projects.

View more of our Creative Forces conversations on Vimeo. Learn about AbelCine's Production Services, or contact us for more information.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Excerpts have been lightly edited for clarity and length.

[shippingfangirl013]

hiiii, how are you?💕

for the fic ask: 8-12-27-48-50-76

Hi! I’m good! Just working through writers block and Vet School interviews for the time being! Thank you for asking 💕

8. Post an out of context spoiler from a WIP. So this is from my Modern College AU fic that was kind of inspired by another fic (FOG), my most recent Gilmore Girls re-watch, and Taylor Swift’s Midnights album.

12. Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are the outlines? How far do you stray from them?

So, it depends on the fic. Usually I’ll have an idea that I want to write about, sometimes song lyrics help me out, other times, it’s more so history inspired, and even then I might end up with some works that are mildly canon divergent depending on what I want to write about. Then, I end up outlining. So far, two of my longer chaptered fics have outlines of where I want them to go, one is canon compliant, the other is the college fic I mentioned. They’re pretty detailed in terms of how I want some scenes to play out, but if I have to change it and kind of Frankenstein the outline to get to a reading flow that makes more sense, I’m not afraid to do that. The scenes I tend to have in depth in the outline are the angst scenes, where there’s arguing, fighting, injuries, sad experiences (like crying scenes), and near death experiences. I tend to keep in line with the outlines, unless I think of something that I like for the plot better. One of my fanfics that I wrote in 2016 had a major character death, and I’ve decided that I don’t always enjoy writing those. I have a few newer ones with character death, but as of right now, they’re only the historical based fics.

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

Description of a background setting for sure, but I feel pretty confident with dialogue and internal struggles that the characters are having, too. Sometimes I feel like my writing isn’t great, and that occasionally stops me from publishing fics, but I might start having beta readers for a few fics that I’m working on.

48. Who is your favorite character to write for? How has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

Will Byers hands down. I love writing from Will’s perspective, because there’s such a range to his character that we see on screen, but I want someone to allow him to actually get angry for once. He’s good at hiding his true emotions at times, and it’s fun for me to try and work different angles from his perspective. He doesn’t think he’s the heart of the party, but Will is the person that keeps the Party together and united. Mike is also the hearts, but in the sense that he’s able to inspire others (when he’s not plagiarizing others speeches.) I think I enjoy writing from Will’s perspective so much, because I feel like my personality is similar to his character in a lot of ways. Will is always going to do the selfless thing even when he wants to be selfish. I’m also similar to Mike and Nancy, and I think, being able to see why they might react the way that they are throughout the seasons, and trying to better understand them as characters, has definitely helped me in my writing.

50. How would you describe your writing style?

Aside from very ADHD —> if I don’t set deadlines I don’t get it done…? Umm…

I tend to write fics in a more informal manner, but if its one of my original books, there’s more of a formal tone about it. I’m just glad I don’t have to write fanfics in Chicago style or the way we write (and cite) biology papers.

76. How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

When I’m told to write for an assignment or a project, I will 100% procrastinate almost up until the last minute. It’s bad. Sometimes, I’ll make an outline, and gather quotes that I want to use, so I’m a little more prepared. But if there is external pressure or deadlines for me to submit something, it sometimes kicks in 2 days before the assignment or draft is due, and then I write the best paper I’ve ever written. I wrote a solid 10 pages of a History term paper off of a rough outline and a compilation of quotes that backed my argument. 4 hours later, I had 10 pages on Medieval Queens and how they contributed to warfare during the Crusader era. Basically if I’m asked to write, I’ll do it, but it can be a bit tricky to get commit to getting it done.

As for internal pressure, if I’m feeling upset or there’s something I need to get off of my chest, it usually comes up in a vent fic. I kind of write when I want to between school and work.

Thank you so much for the ask @rebellius! I was so excited when I saw that I had one! 💛

[yelenasbraid]

the view between villages pt. 2 — joe burrow

mini series summary — it’s been years since you’ve seen your high school & college best friend, joe burrow. you went to high school together, went to ohio state together, but separated when joe transferred. distance wasn’t kind to you, and the total difference in careers stretched you further apart. when you reunite with him unexpectedly, you’re not sure you have an explanation. you’re not sure if he’ll take your explanation. little do you know he’s been ready and he’s been willing.

chapter summary — kelsey drags you along to a night at the bar. unbeknownst to you, joe and his friends are also there.

warnings — fem!reader, mentions of alcohol, angst, little bits of fluff

songs that inspired this part — cardigan by taylor swift, strange by celeste, + please don’t go home yet by stephen sanchez

note — this is so long so sorry

part 1

DESPITE THE HANGOVER A FEW DAYS AGO, kelsey wanted to go out again. this time, she wanted to go out with her sister. the same sister who claimed she hated going out and hated going to bars. kelsey knew you hated going out because of the amount of bodies that ended up pressing against you. it was valid, but not this time.

“come on, it’s one night,” kelsey threw another outfit at you, this one even skimpier than the last one.

“no, i’ve got my thesis to work on,”

“y/n it’s not due for another week, you need to live a little,” kelsey argued. she stood there with her arms crossed, trying her hardest to convince you to go out with her tonight. her reason? she got a tip from someone that joe was going to be at the same bar you were going to go to. she wasn’t standing for this ‘admire from afar’ bullshit. not since you and joe started up a text conversation.

flashback to a few days ago

“i don’t understand what the big deal is,” kelsey groaned as she laid on her back on the couch. her head pounded, but was more infuriating was the fact her older sister was being a stubborn ass.

“kelsey, you wanted me to come and pick you up so i could see joe burrow,” you grumbled, hoisting your hands on your hips, “i didn’t want to see him,”

“you’re a baby,”

“i am not!”

“you’re acting like one,”

“shut up,” you rolled your eyes as you felt your phone vibrate. you opened the message, seeing that it was from joe. he texted you the previous night, asking if the number still worked. the message shocked you, yet you still answered him. you couldn’t ignore him for long. which led you to where you were. you smiled down at the text, even if it was just him confirming he had the right number.

“what’re you smiling at?” kelsey’s voice cut through the silence, making you snap your head up.

“nothing,” you crossed your arms behind your back, keeping a straight face in an attempt to hide your rosy cheeks.

“liar,” kelsey started, “he texted you didn’t he?” she smirked. you didn’t deny it, he did. you responded.

“yes,”

“oh fantastic,” kelsey grinned, “time to play matchmaker,” she stood up from the couch and rubbed her hands together, mischief evident in her expression.

“absolutely not!” you shouted at her as she wrapped her sister in a hug. kelsey would play the game, but she hoped she didn’t have to facilitate it too long.

end of flashback

“i like it right here on my couch, with my movies,” you argued with your sister. while you liked going out with friends, you liked staying in. being wrapped up with a blanket was more appealing than being wrapped up in the must of the bar.

“i’m well aware,” kelsey groaned, “just one time and i won’t bother you again,”

“no,”

“you’re annoying, you know that? this is why you’re single,” kelsey dramatically stated, walking back into her closet to find her outfit.

“this has nothing to do with that,” you ran your hands down your face, “plus this outfit isn’t me,” you told her, watching as she plucked an outfit from the racks. while you didn’t mind dressing up for a night out, the outfit kelsey picked wasn’t your style.

“then pick something that is you,” she stated as-a-matter-of-factly. you rolled your eyes and walked into the closet with her. while you had your fair share of bar fits from your time in college, none of them are what you wanted to wear. you weren’t in college anymore, at least undergrad.

you selected an outfit, an off the shoulder, black long sleeve top, flare jeans, and cute, platform boots. classy, but cute. you completed the look with a thick, black belt.

“i’m wearing this, and you better not say anything,” you spoke through gritted teeth, but you were all jokes.

“i bet joe will,”

“what?” you whipped around, hoping you didn’t hear her correctly. yet, there was a small part of you that hoped joe was there. it was a stretch, but maybe you wanted him to see you, your back uncovered for the naked eye to admire.

“nothing nothing, go get ready we leave in an hour,”

“an hour?!”

“yes, so you better hurry, love bug,” kelsey teased as she shoved you out of her room, closing the door.

“i am not in love with him!” came the muffled sound of your voice through her shut door.

—

you looped your arm through kelsey’s as you walked into the bar, the music blaring. people filled every corner of the place, and the smell of alcohol seasoned the air. it wasn’t the most appealing thing, and it made your stomach churn. your eyes flicked around the bar as you and kelsey found a seat at the bar.

“i’m not gonna stay that long,” you shouted over the music, earning a pout from your sister.

“oh come on, y/n, stop being such a hermit,” kelsey groaned. she ordered the two of you drinks, she got a beer while you got a strawberry margarita. if you were going to be here a while, you might as well nurse a drink you like.

“i’m not a hermit,” you mumbled as your drinks slid towards you. you took a sip, the sweet taste of strawberry mixed with the house tequila is what you needed. it didn’t drown out the noise, or the fact you could feel the bass of the music in your chest. it didn’t stop the bodies from pressing up against you, pushing you closer to the edge.

you decided to order some food, hoping to distract yourself enough from the environment around you. you zoned out, slowly nursing the margarita in front of you.

flashback

it was the first time you’d seen each other in months. joe was home for spring break, traveling from louisiana all the back to ohio. he’d texted you asking to catch up. you, of course, agreed.

you met at a local restaurant, but when you grabbed your food, you noticed he was with someone else. another friend from college. you bit the inside of your cheek as you walked over, sitting down.

“hey,” joe smiled, watching you sit down.

“hey, how’re you?” you asked, already feeling how awkward this was. things changed when he went to lsu. you wished they didn’t, but joe was their hero. he was the golden boy, the boy girls fawned over. based off of his instagram posts, he ended up dating one of those girls. so, he was in a happy relationship and you were not.

which made it awkward.

“been good, i was just telling sam that lsu is so different from ohio state,” he explained, taking a bite of his food. you didn’t like sitting there. you didn’t like the awkward tension, the way that conversation didn’t flow for both of you anymore. it was forced, and both of you felt it.

joe and sam talked practically the whole time, occasionally looping you in, but otherwise you played on your phone. you picked at your food, your stomach aching. you thought this would be different, but life goes on. people change and people grow. you had to accept that maybe you and joe weren’t meant to last forever. you left the restaurant accepting that fact.

end of flashback

you were snapped out of your thoughts when your sister poked your side, causing you to flinch.

“what?” you asked her, relieved it was her and not just some random person.

“a guy asked me to dance, so i’m gonna dance. just wanted to let you know,” she shouted over the music. you could tell she’s had at least two beers from how loose she was.

“be careful,” you warned her, turning around in your seat, still nursing your margarita. you watched as she sauntered off, interlocking fingers with a dark haired man. you watched them for a moment, making sure this man didn’t try anything with your baby sister. you felt someone bump into you, your head snapping to see who it was.

“sorry, pretty lady,” the man groaned, his eyes basically crossed from how much he’d had to drink.

“all good,” you gave a tight-lipped smile as you sipped your drink. he kept bumping into you, and other people kept sitting next to you on the other side. your eyes unfocused, the room becoming hazy. you cleared your throat as you felt the air leave the room. you stuck it out, sipping more of your drink as you tried to calm yourself down. your breathing slowed, at least until a hand came slamming down on your thigh. you jumped up, shoving away from him, adrenaline coursing through your body.

“it was an accident, damn,” the man slurred, raking his eyes down your body. you swallowed, taking a breath.

“watch where you’re putting your hands,” you muttered. the room seemingly got smaller, your lungs constricting as you started to feel boxed in. you finished your drink, setting the glass down along with some cash, and walked out.

the cool air of the evening shocked you back into reality, something you desperately needed. you sat down on a bench, letting the cool breeze soothe the heat that radiated from your skin. you hated bars for that very reason, and you knew that it didn’t happen all the time and that you shouldn’t let one man ruin it. yet, it just further proved to you why you hated bars. you pulled out your phone, sending kelsey a quick test.

‘got claustrophobic, so i’m outside on a bench. come get me when you’re ready.’

the door squeaked open, signaling that someone left. you glanced up, reflexively, and did a double take. your eyes met a familiar gaze, the one that belonged to joe burrow. your throat went dry, your nerves running wild as he walked towards you.

“can i sit?” he asked, gesturing to the empty space next to you. his nose and cheeks were pink from the crisp fall air, but it didn’t take away from his handsome features.

“sure, yeah,” you hummed. the air between you was tense, filled with unspoken words and years of silence. you weren’t used to it, even if you told yourself you were. you weren’t ready to confront him, coming face to face with the very feelings you shoved aside. you shoved your hands in between your thighs to keep them warm, but also in at attempt to protect yourself.

“your sister seems to be having a great time,” joe commented, daring to look over at you. he watched you huff a small laugh, feeling his chest warm. he’d be the first to admit that he wasn’t the best when it came to staying in touch. his life completely changed, turning upside down. there were moments he wished you were celebrating with him, that you came onto the field for senior night, that you were there when he won the championship game against the chiefs. he wished you were there for all of those milestones, but you weren’t, and he partially blamed himself it.

“she tends to love these things,” you replied. the familiarity between the two of you disappeared. the conversations were clipped, they were awkward, and it reminded you of the times when it wasn’t this hard. you swallowed, feeling a shiver roll down your spine.

“i’m surprised you came with her,”

“she convinced me,” you shrugged, and you wanted to cry from how hard this was. you shifted in your spot, desperately grasping for the warm feeling you always felt with him.

“i thought you’d leave cincinnati,” he started, fidgeting with his cuticles, “especially with how much you complained about it,” he tried breaking the ice in an attempt to get you to stay; he knew you’d leave if he didn’t. you didn’t like small talk.

“i wanted to,” you lifted your eyes to meet his for the first time since he sat down. his eyes were still that beautiful blue, and his face was still boyish. he’d grown up, filled out, but he was still your joey. you could see it in his eyes.

“what stopped you?” he asked you. silence bred between you, and there was an answer on your tongue. a simple word that has been sitting in your chest for years.

“want me to be honest?” you chuckled, letting yourself loosen up.

“as always,” he hummed, his eyes wide, eager to hear what you had to say. another silence fell between you, you fidgeted with your rings as you thought it over.

“it would be easier to catch up if i stayed here,” you admitted, the words tumbling out of your mouth. hearing those words made joe’s lips part, his heart skipping a beat. you stayed because of him? he looked down at the ground, his leg bouncing from the anxiety that sat on his chest.

“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said anything,” you quickly tried to cover your tracks, “you’ve probably got a million girls lined up and i shouldn’t have said that,” you weren’t making sense, your mind fumbling around for the right words and the wish to turn back time.

“no, no it’s ok. i’m glad you did,” he snapped back into reality, inching closer to you. you could feel the warmth of his body on yours, and you wanted to lean against him. you wanted to revel in his warmth like you did when you were close.

silence sat between you again. joe ran a hand through his hair, rolling around his next words in his head. he looked at you, watching you glow in the warm light of the lamps. you looked beautiful, grown up. he saw the tiny goosebumps on your skin, and he shed his jacket.

“here,” he offered you his black jacket, making your eyes widen. you gingerly took it, only because his eyes told you it was ok. you slung it around your shoulders, inhaling the sweet scent of his cologne.

“you still use the same cologne as you did in college?” you teased, making joe laugh and playfully shove your shoulder. this felt normal. this felt like normalcy was coming back.

“what? i like it,” he defended with a shrug. you laughed, letting his cologne waft around you. a more comfortable silence fell between you, something that reminded you of simpler times, and something that warmed the deepest parts of your soul.

“this means i can keep it, right?” you asked, a smirk on your face.

“you’re crazy,” he laughed, “how about when we catch up you give it back,” he suggested, and he knew he was being as smooth as he could be.

“smooth one, joey,” you chuckled, the nickname you had for him, as did everyone else, rolling off your tongue. while it was a common nickname, coming from you, it made him feel like he was on cloud nine. he felt like the only person in the world when you used that nickname, and he knew it was dramatic, but he didn’t care.

“so, when are we catching up?”

“when is mister pro footballer available?” you teased, and he pulled out his phone to check.

“what if we do dinner tomorrow night? like we pick up dinner and catch up some?” he suggested. the nerves in his stomach went insane, making him nearly sick to his stomach. he watched you, watching how your eyes sparkled and how you looked with his jacket on. you looked so cozy, and he wished he could call you his. he had the chance, once, and he didn’t take it.

flashback

it was the night before joe was going to transfer to lsu. robin and jimmy hosted, making dinner and desert for friends and family. it was a night of celebration, of new opportunities. joe knew that he’d do better somewhere else, that he’d be given a new and shiny opportunity. he also knew what he’d be leaving behind: you.

dinner was served, and you all sat happily around the house. some people sat in the living room, some in the kitchen. you and joe sat in the kitchen along with his mom and sam hubbard.

“you never fail to amaze me robin,” you compliment as you swallowed a piece of your dinner. she laughed, shaking her head.

“you’re too kind to me, y/n,” she patted your hand, leaving the three of you be. robin knew something you didn’t, she knew that joey’s been harboring feelings for you ever since he met you. she knew he got nervous whenever he talked to you, or would ask to hangout. he would overthink every conversation he had with you because he didn’t want to screw things up.

as the evening drew to a close, you were the last of guests left. you sat with joe outside, eyes aimed towards the sky. his arm was slung around your shoulders, a normal behavior, but it still drove him crazy.

“before i go,” he started, swallowing his anxiety, “i need to tell you something,” he finished. his hands started to sweat, and his breaths shook. he was going to tell you how he felt, he was going to ask you out. he knew he should have done it earlier, but he got too nervous. he was pressed for time now.

“what’s up, joey?” you asked him, angling your head towards him. you could see the nerves, you could see how he was processing something in that brain of his.

silence fell between you as he rolled the words around in his mouth. he had to tell you, but what if you didn’t feel the same? why would you? you were his best friend, and he didn’t want to ruin that before he went off to lsu, farther away from you. he sat there, chewing on his lip as his mind waged war. she’s not going to like you. she’s going to brush you off and never talk to you again. why would she date you?

“don’t stop talking to me just because i’m in a different state,” his mind got the worst of him, derailing any thoughts of confessing his feelings for you.

“i won’t,” you chuckled, but you felt deflated. you thought he was going to tell you he had feelings for you, which meant you’d have the chance to reciprocate. guess you were wrong.

end of flashback

“sure, i’d be down,” you shrugged, but your insides were raging. you had to keep yourself together because of his excited you were. warmth spread over your body, accented with his cologne.

“cool, there’s a park near my house we could meet at. no one really goes there, so we won’t have to worry about people watching us,” he told you. he was brimming with excitement, planning out the whole thing in his head.

“i would hate to have someone watching me stuff my face,” you joked, but god you were so excited. you finally had your joey back, and it started to heal all the broken parts of you.

“who knows, maybe someone will see you,” he shrugged, earning a playful eye roll from you. his eyes met yours, and tension sizzled between you. a familiar tension, one that wasn’t unwelcome either. you cleared your throat, your cheeks rosy.

“what time should i be there?” you asked him.

“i’ll pick you up at 6,” he smirked. you nodded your head, giving him a smile. he was getting better with how smooth he was being. you nudged him with your shoulder, but ended up staying there. you were like magnets, always drawn together, but as you stayed there, your thoughts wondered. this couldn’t be happening, right? he was playing you. he was using you. your fear settled into your gut, but you denied it. you couldn’t run this time, but as you sat there, anxiety started playing the strings. your mind ran wild and you silently prayed that come tomorrow, you’d show up.

tags — @wickedfun9 @joeyfranchise

[goboymusic]

I wish I could be #schizophrenic for a day just to know what it’s like to believe Taylor Swift is stalking me, or the government put dozens of hidden cameras in my apartment, or something equally awesome.

“#Juliet” was drunk recording session 7.

Being heavily inspired by @blink182 and the #poppunk genre, the lyrics in “Juliet” are about young love and dating the coolest girl in school. Girlfriend pride, I guess.

The production of “Juliet” went smoothly, other than trying to figure out how to start the song. Starting with the 1st verse didn’t work, nor the pre-chorus, nor the chorus, nor the instrumental post-chorus, nor any intros that I was coming up with. Nothing worked, but starting with the chorus sounded the least bad, so that’s what you hear.

Like the rest of the song, the chorus originally had vocal harmonies and mid-ranged instruments. Unfortunately those elements only seemed to detract from the chorus, so they were removed, and the chorus became a minimalistic segment consisting of drums, distorted bass and lofi vocals.

Lofi vocal effects are popular in pop rock music. @TheKillers use it for many of their songs (example: “Mr. Brightside”). @GreenDay uses it once in a while (example: “American Idiot”). Lofi plugins usually cut out lower frequencies and add some distortion to the vocals, making it sound like someone’s singing through an old radio transmission. When used in the right places, it sounds cool (excerpt from post 78).

A synthesizer was developed specifically for this song, which can be heard at 0:22. That same synthesizer was subsequently used in “Maximum Sex (Song 115)” and “Guess How Much I Care (Song 116).”

Starting with “Granola (Song 108),” the complexity of the 3-part harmonies was difficult for my brain to handle. To do so, I started utilizing a technique of changing the pitch on the master track (essentially increasing or decreasing the pitch of the entire song) and listening to the song at those different pitches. When you listen to your own song at a different pitch, it’s as if you’re hearing it from a fresh perspective. You catch mistakes that weren’t noticeable before. It’s really interesting. This technique has been used for all subsequent songs (this paragraph contains excerpts from post 108).

Like all songs on GoBoy 6, the instrument tracks were developed through experimentation with software instruments. It was like playing darts, only the darts were an assortment of kitchen utensils and art supplies, and the efficiency of those items were discovered through trial and error. After about 3-5 days of experimentation, the final instrument tracks were complete (excerpt from post 101).

Throughout GoBoy 3, 4 and 5, a lesson was relearned after a seven-year hiatus: confidence is important in a recording booth, as listeners can sense any hesitancy in your voice. This rediscovery would lead me to experiment with drinking while recording GoBoy 6. What results would liquid courage bring (excerpt from post 102)?

Songs 102 - 116 (total of 15 songs) were produced simultaneously, resulting in an eight-month gap in releases. Melodies, chord structures and lyrics were written for all 16 songs over the course of four days before recording any of them. During the recording phase, one-week intervals took place between recording sessions to let vocal cords recover (the raspy, punk style sounds cool, but it destroys your voice after a few hours). During those intervals, all free time was spent splicing and aligning the vocal tracks to the tempo, pitch correction (everyone uses pitch correction in the studio, even Beyoncé, shut up), then selecting and splicing together the best vocal takes (excerpt from post 102).

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #085

When did you last feel fear? Uhhhhh not sure, surprisingly. Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s your favorite song from her? No. There are like less than five mega old songs that I enjoy though, the top definitely being "Love Story," idc that song is great. What was the last pain you’ve had on your body? My legs primarily from my knees down are in awful pain whenever I'm simply standing up, so them. What’s your favorite way to eat rice? Hm, probably fried. What’s something that has really impacted your life? The first person I was in love with, absolutely madly so to where I lost a great deal of self-autonomy, abruptly exiting my life.

What did you last have as a snack? Fudge; Mom is making some for Christmas but she picked a couple that me and her could eat out of. Are you currently listening to music? Yeah, I discovered that a YouTube artist did the song "Gangsta's Paradise" in the style of Ozzy Osbourne and it's honestly fucking incredible lmao. It's Anthony Vincent, to give credit. What is the last song you listened to in a car? Ummmm I feel like it was something by Motionless In White. Are there any important things happening this week? Well, this isn't really "important," but it's somewhat of a big deal to me because I'm rarely on my own; Mom and Nicole are going to Tennessee to visit my brother and his family (I very much wanted to go, but there are reasons I couldn't that I don't want to talk about), so I'm gonna be on my own for close to a week. Girt wants to come over a lot though so I'm not alone, so I appreciate that. Do you know anyone who is terrified of dogs? I don't think so. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Blair Witch Project, The Crazies, and then Silent Hill, though I think that's just a bias, the movie incarnation isn't fantastic. What’s your favorite and least favorite fast food restaurant? Favorite, probably Sonic. Least favorite, fucking Arby's, just looking at their stuff makes me want to puke. When did you last sign your signature? Uh a couple days ago at a doctor's appointment bc I got a new insurance card or something. What cover do you think is better than the original song? I think the two strongest, your-argument-is-invalid examples are Disturbed's "The Sound of Silence" cover as well as Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt." Like it feels like they fucking wrote those songs, they were MADE for 'em. What’s something that excites you about the future? Inspired by the answer of the person I copied this survey from, watching my sister's kids grow up. They're my only nieces and nephew I've been heavily involved with (NOT by my will, my half siblings just live in different states), and I just love seeing the three of them grow as individuals. I always have this fear they'll grow to dislike me/maybe drop me from their lives because of how much of the black sheep of the family I am, but I try to not think of this possibility. Are you afraid of walking alone at night? Oh I absolutely would be. Where did your last kiss take place and with whom? My bed with my boyfriend. Are you a very affectionate person? YES. I love hugs and I will tell you I love you every opportunity I get. I will petname tf outta you too if it's something that doesn't make the person uncomfortable. I am just such, SUCH a massive believer in vibrantly expressing how much you care for people. Are you mentally strong? There are some LOVELY people who make me question it, but when it boils down to it, yes I fucking am. I'm here and alive and learning by MY determination alone. Are you physically strong? It's honestly absurd how physically weak I am, like it is humiliating how much I literally cannot do because I don't have the muscle. Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now. I wish I had an income and was happy with my form of work. What do you usually eat for breakfast? Usually cereal. Did you have a good year? You know, it was far from the best, but ultimately, I think it was okay. I've had a lot of self-discovery and there's been a lot of effort put into bettering myself and trying to learn to love myself. Did your appearance change in any way this year? Besides hair color, no, not really. What album came out this year and has been on heavy rotation since then? "Zeit" by Rammstein jesus FUCKING christ Favorite new TV show? Girt and I finished the only current season of Extraordinary Attorney Woo a few days back and we are now both desperately awaiting the next one, which won't be coming for a few years apparently. :( It was approved, though. It was a FANTASTIC show. Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? ha ha ha ha ha nervous laughter there's this band Do you carry matches or a lighter? No, no reason to. Do you keep socks with a hole in them if they are your favorites? ABSOLUTELY NOT, I hate socks already, but holes in socks are fucking insufferable to me. Have you ever frightened someone on purpose? Not as a tease, but seriously. No, that sounds very mean. Something you were surprised to learn about your parent’s childhood? Oh I have no idea. Have you ever destroyed another person’s belongings out of anger? No, that's incredibly shitty. Which painkiller do you use? Usually just Ibuprofen. Something you taught yourself how to do? Use Sony Vegas acceptably well for video editing. I am SUPER far from a pro, but I can do quite a bit. Are you guilty of texting while driving? I would literally rather never touch a phone again. Never. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No, even as a child I thought it was disrespectful. Have you ever called in at a radio station & dedicated a song to someone? No. Are you a bossy person? Absolutely not, I'd feel so gross. What social media platforms do you use? Facebook, Insta, and Tumblr are I think it. What is one of your favourite sitcoms? That '70s Show. What pet names do you use for your friends/loved ones? Girt, a lot. For friends, "hun(ny)," "dear," "darling," and "love" are commonly used by me. What pet names do you like to be called? Most I can think of are fine. One that does come to mind that I know some people like but makes me want to hurl is "princess," like just don't. What was the best concert you've ever seen? Only seen Alice Cooper live, but it was excellent. Do you have any hobbies? Well yeah. I like browsing online, playing games, writing, reading, drawing, taking photos, editing photos and other stuff, watching YouTube, chatting with my loved ones, and I would very much enjoy being outside and going on walks if my legs weren't total garbage. When was the last time you stayed in a hotel/motel and where was that? I legit don't think I've stayed in a hotel since my sister and I still did dance and we went to a competition by the beach. Does your hair have natural highlights in it? Yes, even when it's not dyed. What was the last decision you had trouble making? Something I talked about in therapy a few days back that I don't want to discuss. What is one type of fruit that you'd like to try that you've never tried before? Dragonfruit immediately comes to mind. It looks so interesting. Have you been told by a doctor that you are a rare medical case? Uhhhh I don't believe so. Who was the last person who came to visit you? Girt, yesterday. What is your favorite version of the Bible to read (if applicable)?

Do you have family that you wish you could see more? Absofuckinglutely. Only my very immediate family lives anywhere near me. What was the last emoji you used? Probably the crying one, I probably overuse it lmao Do you feel the need to be popular? In general, no. I would like to be a popular photographer, but that feels different than "normal" popular to me, idk. What is a good present for you birthdays? Meerkat-oriented ANYTHING is failproof and my loved ones know that, haha. You could also donate to my tattoo fund or just pay for a small one to make my fuckin week lol. What is a rule or boundary you have for yourself, that you have followed? I made a promise to a friend and myself that I would never check up on Sara's socials again and I've kept it since I made it. I have SUCH a hard fucking time letting people go, even those who don't deserve a second of me, and it was problematic that I felt the need to just check on her, but it only ever hurt me. So I stopped. Have you ever played Battleship? Yeah, that's actually a "board" game (quotations cuz that's a weird way to describe it) I really don't mind, it's pretty fun. Girt and I used to play it a lot at the old house. Do you wear skulls on your clothes? Yeah, very regularly. Do you like to record yourself? NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO Do you like the color hot pink? Hell yeah I do. Do you like watching wrestling? Absolutely not, I'm sorry, but it's dumb and cringey as FUCK to me. Like holy shit the acting is so goddamn bad and more dramatic than I was at age 12. I know because my niece and nephew actually like to watch it so have seen my fair share. Aubree actually wants to be a professional wrestler when she grows up and while I will support her dreams to the very fucking end I am very much hoping she changes her mind, lol. Would you rather a giftcard to Starbucks or Olive Garden? OG, I fucking love that place. What kind of people do you respect? "Ones who don’t ‘demand respect’, when they really mean obedience." <<<< THIS. I also have very deep respect for people who basically calmly lead a moral crusade, vigorously advocating for positive change while remaining peaceful and amiable and just willing to prove their point without violence. I respect vegans and vegetarians a lot, like I think that takes A LOT of discipline and a very deep appreciation for all life, and I also respect popular people who don't grow a big head, instead remaining grounded and modest. There's plenty more, but I don't feel like making a massive list. What shampoo do you have in your tub? It's some strawberry-scented Suave bottle. It smells amazing. What color is your shower curtain? Or is it glass/plastic? The shower in the hall bathroom has a white curtain, while Mom's bathroom shower has a door. Do you like to draw with pen or pencil? Pencil. Pens stress me out 'cuz you can't erase. Do you like to draw on lined paper or does it bother you? I'll do it if I have no other option; it's definitely not my preference. Are you stuck in the past? I feel like I'm a prisoner to it, at least to the old me. I'm so unwilling to forgive myself for many things, and it's very much negatively affecting my life and opinion of myself. I've changed and grown so much, but... in my head, I'm stuck on this "you're fucking trash" belief. Tell me about the worst sunburn you've ever had? I got it while at the beach with Colleenn, her husband, and their son; we were sitting under an umbrella and oddly enough, I think I actually got the worse burn on my shoulder that was facing AWAY from the sun. It was so severe it actually qualified as sun poisoning. It was fucking excruciating. My other shoulder got it pretty rough, too. Do you feel embarrassed a lot? I am pretty much constantly feeling embarrassed over one thing or another. What is the most important thing in life, quick answer? For me, I think my pursuit of happiness/peace with myself. I just want to confidently feel that so bad. Is black lipstick your favorite? It sure is. Do you like combat boots? bro they fuckin HOT, I'm a boots whore Would you ever get back with one of your exes? Nope, sure wouldn't. Man, 2015-16 Brittany wouldn't have believed that for a second, well guess what hunny Do you sometimes feel dissatisfied with your love life? No, I am so happy with Girt. Are you friends with your neighbors? Not "friends," no. The man who lives to our right is lovely and has helped Mom with getting some heavy things into the house, and they usually wave at each other if Ma passes him in the car, but I wouldn't call them "friends." Mom knows our other next-door neighbor too and thinks they're fine. Are you super generous? I think so. I sure try to be. Above anything else though, I think I'm most generous with my time. If you need to talk to someone, you fuckin got me. Do you feed the strays in your neighborhood? No; we don't really have strays anyway. Do you think old houses are creepy? I mean they can be, but I think they're cool and fascinating more than anything else! Have you won any trophies/ribbons? Which are you most proud of, if any? Lots for academic excellence, as well as for dance and sports. I'm most proud of my plaque that I can literally see from here that was for me graduating HS in the top percentile of the entire graduating class. It hurts to see sometimes though, like I wonder what the fuck happened to my level of intelligence after high school... Do you type home row or with two fingers? Home row. Have you ever cheated on your bf/gf/wife/husband? No, and I never would. It's just so, so very disrespectful of your partner's trust. Don't hurt people you supposedly love like that, man. What kind of outdoor activities do you like? Taking pictures of nature, exploring, swimming, sitting in the shade if it's cool enough and just chillin. In a movie would you be the villain, hero, or main person? You mean like, what role I would pick to play? Villain almost for sure, I genuinely think I could play a convincing villain. If you could get anything in your trick or treat bag, what would it be? Reese's anything, haha. Even as a kid, that was my favorite to get. Do you like to drive a car? No; I haven't driven in like, maybe two or even three years. I have a debilitating fear of being behind the wheel. I could never, and I mean NEVER, live with my fucking self if I ever caused a wreck and killed somebody. It is just the way smarter option for me to not drive, at least for right now. I feel super bad about not driving and therefore not being able to go anywhere on my own (public transport isn't really a big thing around here), but it's the better, safer option. What is your desktop background? A really cute and vibrant picture of a meerkat.

[goldenbuckyyy]

ILLICIT AFFAIRS

Summary: You and Harry have a secret affair.

Pairings: Harry Styles x fem!Reader (cheating together) Main characters x original characters.

Word Count: 4.5kish

Warnings: Cheating (Harry and Reader together), raw sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, breeding kink, slight dirty talk, undertones of dom!Harry if you squint, anything else? Let me know!

A/N: I’ve had this idea brewing in my head for a while now, had about maybe 500 words written, and then decided to finish it last night. And I love the way it came out. Hopefully you do as well!! Song inspiration: “Illicit affairs” by Taylor Swift.

Also thank you for 500 followers. 🥹🫶🏻 Thank you all for showing me so much love!! 💓

All my mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other site nor this one.

I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions.

Masterlist

You knew you shouldn’t have come. 

You fidgeted in your seat, trying not to overthink about the situation as you feel the back of your neck start to sweat, you mumble a cuss word as you take a peak at yourself in your compact mirror, and let out a stiff sigh. 

You adjust the top of your satin orange dress. You fell in love with this dress the moment you saw it at the shops. It was a different color than you were used to wearing, but it looked lovely on you. It had semi-thick straps to hold your breasts up nicely, a corset style on the waist that hugged your curves, it cut down up to your shin, and flowed beautifully. 

You admit you wanted to look good today. And you did. You felt stunning. 

You feel your fiancée’s arm wrap around your shoulders, trying your best not to flinch at his touch, because his touch isn’t the one you want. 

But you can’t have the other. 

“Geez, you’re freezing!” He exclaims in his full blown American accent, rubbing your shoulders with his warm hands as he places his lips on your forehead lightly.

You laugh, “Bloody church is so damn cold.” You give him a smile, leaning yourself into his embrace, as you both watch the people around you fill the seats. 

You look up at him, guilt pooling into your belly, and you give him a small smile. 

Feeling guilty for loving him and for loving Harry. For loving them both. 

Your fiancée isn’t a bad man. No, never bad. Has never been bad. You don’t think he has one bad bone in his body.

He was the sweet, golden, all American boy. He is a wonderful man and isn’t rough on the eyes either. 

He’s tall like Harry, maybe an inch or two shorter, bright ocean blue eyes, chiseled jawline, tanned skin from all your beach trips, blonde hair that is styled to his liking, but you love when it’s freshly washed and falls down his forehead. 

He’s a beautiful man. You loved him so much, you had been dating him for two years now, but yet… a part of you was in love with Harry. 

Your first love. You dated Harry before he went to X-Factor, way before that, you were in an established relationship with him. You both had kissed other people before you got together. But nothing ever went farther. 

You got together and it was as if the world suddenly made sense. You fell in love with Harry so fast and it was everything a teenage relationship could be. Then it grew into something stronger, more passionate, and stronger as you both got older. 

You were each other’s firsts, taking the time to find out what made you squirm, and what made you cum the hardest. 

You were with him through X-Factor, his one direction days, even during his first album. 

But then… things happened. Life changed between you two. You both had never been with anybody new. Nobody different. You had broken up on good terms back in 2017. You promised that if it didn’t work out with anybody else, you’d come back to each other somehow. 

That didn’t happen. 

You dated a few different people, some amazing, and some assholes. Harry did the same. You both kept communication with each other, that never faltered. 

Harry released his second album in 2019, a few songs about you that he never wanted to admit, and when you were both single at the same time… you’d end up in the same bed. 

Nothing more. 

2020 happened and you felt tired of the same routine. You wanted something more. You wanted a family. You were going to speak to Harry about what you felt and how you wanted this with him. 

Then… you met Asher. 

It was like a movie. You were texting Harry, walking down the NYC streets to your apartment, not paying attention to your surroundings, when you bumped into Asher, who caught you before you hit the floor, and you remember the feeling of when you first laid your eyes on him. 

You remember your heart fluttering in your chest at this blue eyed man with a wicked smile. He literally swept you off your feet. Long forgotten the text you were typing to Harry about meeting up the same day. 

Instead, you went for a coffee date with Asher. Your belly was hurting that night from all the laughter you shared together. 

He was amazing with a sense of humor so insane, he kept you laughing all day. You have been wrapped around his finger since day one. Now it’s been two wonderful years with him. 

That’s why when Harry reached out to you six months ago, while Asher was away on business, you hesitated. 

You remember staring at the phone, rereading his text message, and biting your lip in thought. 

“Can we meet up tonight? I really want to see you xx” said the text. You were already out and about in the London streets with your girlfriends. Having moved back to your home country with Asher. You were buzzing with liquid courage and replied, “Yeah. Where are you? xx” 

He had sent you the address to his secret London hotel and suddenly, there you were outside the baby blue door. 

Harry had opened the door, messy brown curls, a bewildered look on his face, and wearing only black shorts. 

You stared at each other. Hadn’t seen each other in almost a year. Not since you had dinner at some fancy restaurant in LA when you both had managed to be in the same city for once. There were a lot of lingering touches and twinkling eyes that night in a secluded booth. 

Nothing happened that night. But that was a year ago. 

You with Asher and him with Vivian. Vivian was a model, she was stunning, and you swore you weren’t jealous of her.

“I’m getting married,” he says, his eyes dropping to your lips. 

“Asher proposed,” you reply, your heart racing, and lips parting. 

His eyes leave your face, taking in your red mini dress, your bare thighs, and suddenly you’re in a passionate kiss. 

The night is filled with kissing, touching, fingers everywhere, tongue in places you love, positions he loves to see you in, and countless orgasms. 

That was six months ago and that night ran through your thoughts endlessly. The way his hands touched you that night made you feel on fire, the way his kisses felt as if it was what you had been missing, and the way he felt inside of you… it made you feel whole. 

You snap out of your thoughts when Asher pinches your exposed thigh. 

“It’s staring,” he whispers as you both stand up when the bridal music starts playing. Asher moves you to be in front of him to see the bride better and you instantly tear you when you see her. 

Your heart feels heavy as you watch Gemma walk down the aisle in her beautiful wedding dress with Harry walking beside her, her arm wrapped around his, and tears in her eyes as she watches all the people she loves here for her today. 

Her handsome husband to be, Michal, waiting for her at the end with a breathtaking smile and looking starstruck. 

Harry kisses her cheek as he hands her to Michal at the end, wiping a quick tear away from her cheeks, and you can see the whispered “I love you”. 

Harry moves to stand in the empty seat in the front row, a few rows in front of you, but across the aisle and Vivian wraps her arm around his. 

She looks beautiful. Her long blonde hair falling down her exposed back in ringlets, her tanned skin glimmering underneath the lights, and her perfect body in a long baby pink dress with a slit to show off her never ending legs. You hate the way your gut fills with jealousy. 

But Harry doesn’t look down at her. 

Instead, he slowly tilts his head to the side as the bride and groom exchange vows, while the whole crowd is watching them, and he’s looking for you. 

You glance up at Asher who’s staring at the couple with a big smile. You look back at Harry and his eyes are already on you. 

He smirks, his eyes taking in your outfit, and his expression darkens. He winks at you when you both make eye contact and you blush under his stare. 

You quickly look away from him when you feel Asher wrapping his arm around your waist, on instinct you lean your body back into his, and jump when you feel how hard he is against you. 

Your eyes go wide as he leans down to you and whispers, “I can’t wait to fuck you in your wedding dress.”

“Asher!” You whisper at him with a gaping mouth, but a smile nonetheless. 

Your sex life with Asher was anything but boring. It was never boring with him. 

He was just like Harry in the way that he was a giving lover. He’d rather give, give, give and then take. 

That’s why a part of you feels torn as to why you feel so happy with Asher. So content and lucky. But yet… when you’re with Harry, you feel whole. You feel as if he’s what you’re missing in your life. A part of you can’t let him go. 

You want to tear your heart out for feeling this way because it’s a constant battle with your brain. Because you know what you did was wrong. In so many ways. But somehow, you know you don’t regret what happened. 

You only wish for it to happen again. 

You proceed to sit down, crossing your leg over the other, and listen intently to the couple saying their vows. 

Your eyes glancing between the couple and to the back of the head of curls. The curls you love. The curls you can still feel underneath your fingertips when you’d tug on them. 

Your skin breaks out into goosebumps, Asher notices, and kisses your shoulder. “Gets you nervous too, huh?” He whispers into your ear. You nod without taking your eyes off the couple. He slips his hand into yours and you hold onto him to try to distract your mind from Harry. 

You have no idea how you’re going to make it through the night. 

It happened after midnight. 

You were already four drinks in, sipping on your fifth cocktail of the night, and standing up as you watched Asher dance with Anne with a big smile on your face. 

You feel someone pat your shoulder, you look over to see a young brunette waitress holding a folded up piece of paper, she hands it to you quickly with a smile, and goes back to serving drinks. 

You hum, holding your drink in your hand, and sprawling the note open. 

Meet me in the bridal room in 10 xx 

Your eyes widen as you crush the paper in your palm, eyes searching for him, and you still when you meet his own. 

Harry is standing across from you, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his drink, and he smirks at you. Vivian is at his side, laughing at something Gemma said, and without a single clue. 

You lick your lips, drown your drink in one gulp, and go to the dance floor to Asher. The song had just finished, Anne was laughing and waving at her face, and reached to you to kiss your cheek when she saw you. 

“He’s a gem, baby!” She says as she pinches Asher’s cheek and proceeds to walk away. 

You nod at her words, looking up at Asher, “I’m going to pop to the restroom, okay babe?“ 

He kisses your lips quickly, nodding, his eyes searching for something. “Go ahead, babe. Searching for my next dance victim.” 

You giggle as you watch him taunt off to one of Harry’s aunts, who immediately falls into Asher’s hold for the next song, and you search the room for Harry. 

Who had already left Vivian’s side. 

You start to walk off the dance floor when you feel someone catch your arm. 

You stop when you see Vivian holding onto you, you smile quickly, and she does the same. 

“You look beautiful, honey.” Her pink tinted lips expand to show her beautiful white teeth. Her posh southern English accent flowed out lavishly. 

You hold her hands in yours, “Don’t flatter me! You look breathtaking.” 

“Harry went off for a smoke, yuck.” She says with a childish grin and sticking out her tongue in disgust. 

“Gross habit, huh?” You joke as you try not to show how awkward you feel. 

“Has he invited you to the wedding yet? We set the date for October.” 

You nod your head, “Of course! I can't wait!” You lie through your teeth as she sighs happily and hugs you unexpectedly. 

You stumble in your heels, hugging her back, and patting her shoulders slightly. 

She hums in content in your arms, “I’m so happy we can be so civil with each other.” She pulls away and holds onto your elbows. “Especially with you and Harry’s history,” she whispers as if it’s some secret. 

You laugh and wave your hands at her, “Nonsense! But I do have to run, Viv. I have to freshen up.” 

She immediately lets you go, smiling, and she waves you off. Then she continues to go back to speaking to another group of guests. 

You stare at her for a second, second guessing your upcoming actions, but then proceed to go down the long hallway towards the bathrooms. 

You had no idea how to get to the bridal suite. You fumble with a door in the back, which leads you to a stairwell, you shiver with nerves, and start walking up the secluded stairs. 

You manage to get to the second floor, the music sounded muffled up here, and the carpet hid the sound of your heels. You walk slowly as you peer into the doors down the hallway. 

You suddenly feel a hand on your wrist, pulling you into a dark room, you let out a low gasp, and the door shuts quietly behind you. 

You're pushed against the door, the light flickers on, and Harry’s standing in front of you. You hear the lock click behind you. 

“What took you so long?” He says breathlessly, his big  hands falling onto the curves of your waist, pressing his hips against you, and you can already feel how hard he is against you. 

His gaze fixed on you, green eyes piercing into yours, and his hands caress your waist. 

You bite your bottom lip as you take him in, “Your fiancée did,” you reply bluntly. The alcohol flowing in your system makes you feel brave. 

He hums in response, but doesn’t falter at your comment. His eyes taking you in. 

“You look bloody fantastic,” he says as he places his hands on your cheeks and pulls you into a rough kiss. His hands on your face making your skin feel as if it’s on fire. Goosebumps erupt over your skin and you feel flushed already. 

You immediately wrap your hands around his shoulders, pulling him into you, and opening your mouth for him. Your tongue fighting against his, moaning into each other's mouths, his hands bundling up your dress higher and higher. His hand moving down to your core, he gasps when he feels you bare against him, his fingers touch your smooth and soaked core and his knees weaken. 

“Fuck, baby. You’re not wearing any pantries?” He asks in shock, his mouth open in a pant, you’re sucking his bottom lip, shaking your head, and hitching your hips to him so he can touch you. You can feel yourself throbbing and aching for him already. 

He slips a finger into your drenched folds, you moan in pleasure, feeling his cold fingers against your hot skin, he starts peppering your neck with open mouthed kisses, leaving a trail of saliva and licks on you. 

“You’re fucking perfect,” he moans against your covered breasts, he slides down the straps of your dress, you help him, tugging down your dress to reveal your naked breasts, and he moans as he sees them. He immediately pulls one of your nipples into his mouth, his finger still working you open, he slips in a second finger, and you tilt your head back against the door in pleasure. 

“Fuck,” you mutter as your hands go into his gelled up hair, tugging at his curls knowing he loves it, and his fingers move faster in you. His thumb slips to touch your clit, you jump at the sensation, and he starts rubbing you. 

He slips another finger into you, curling them in, you let out a deep moan as he works up his speed, you move your leg to wrap around his waist to give him better access, and he continues to lick your breasts. Sucking each nipple into his mouth with pleasure. 

You’re already a panting mess underneath him as his fingers work you open, curling at the perfect angle, his thumb moving delicately at the right pace against your clit, getting you closer to your release, and he knows you're almost there. 

“Your pussy is fucking drenched for me,” he whispers, licking up your neck, pulling your lips into his as your leg thightens against him. 

You start moving your hips faster, knowing his cock must be aching right now, he hisses at the contact, increasing his speed, and you cry out in pleasure. 

“I’m close,” you say with a shaky breath. 

“Let go, baby. Come for me,” he growls into your ear, “Soak my fingers,” he demands. As soon as he speaks your body reacts to his words. Your entire body seizes with your release. 

You feel your entire body shaking against him, your wetness drenching his hand, down your thighs, and Harry continues to praise you. 

“That’s my good girl.” 

“So fucking good for me.” 

“You’re fucking mine.” 

“Such a good fucking girl,” he says as he manhandles your body towards the nearest surface. He slips his fingers out of you, you cry out at the emptiness, he shushes you, and lifts you up by your hips onto the bathroom countertop. 

He shoves your dress up to your waist as he starts unbuckling his belt. You take this time to admire him. His white button down shirt was buttoned down to reveal his butterfly tattoo, the sleeves were rolled up, his hair was disheveled by your touch, his skin was flushed, and his eyes were blown out in pleasure. 

You moan when you see him shove his pants down along with his underwear, his hard cock fumbling out, thick and throbbing. The tip of his cock red and angry, leaking precum. 

“I want you,” you moan at him with grabby hands. He pulls you into a kiss, licking the roof of your mouth, and he pulls away to align himself to your entrance. 

You both take a second to look at each other, staring into each other's eyes, and he enters you slowly. Your jaw falling slack as you feel him enter you. 

His cock spreads you open, slowly and tightly, never getting used to how huge he is. Your walls are burning around him, feeling him throbbing inside of you, you pull your legs to your side to allow him better access, one of his hands on your waist to hold you and the other against the bathroom mirror. 

He bottoms out inside of you, his public hair rubs against your bare core, you moan at feeling him so deep inside of you, and you wrap your arms around him. Pulling him closer to you as he starts to move. 

He starts off trusting into you slowly, letting you adjust to him, you can feel him so deep in you, both panting, he puts his free hand underneath your dress on your lower stomach, he moans when he feels himself there, “Fuck. Can you feel me here, baby?” 

His raspy breath is on you as you nod against him. You push your hips against his to show him how deep he is, his hand grips your naked thigh, “Fuck!” He curses out in a whisper. 

You clench your teeth together to stop yourself from being too loud, his thrusting becomes faster and more erratic, he allows himself to get lost in your pussy, feeling blissful and euphoric as he thrusts deeply into you. 

You kissed him frantically, savoring every second you have with him, his hands never stopped touching your skin, and he continued to thrust into you at a relentless pace. 

“Harry,” you moan out, “You’re so deep.” You cry out, your head tilting back against the mirror, and letting the feeling of pleasure overtake your body. 

“That’s it, sugar. Let the pleasure take over you,” Harry says slowly, letting his cock thrust into you, admiring the view underneath him, your chest heaving up and down, your nipples perked up and hard, and your skin flushed in a slight coat of sweat. 

You whine as you continue to roll your hips against him, “I’m close,” you whisper. Your hands moving to his shoulders, holding him in the right position, his hands moving down to grip your waist, allowing you to move on his cock as you wished. 

“Come with only my cock, Princess.” He demands, his lips swollen by your mouth, and you can only nod. Drunk off his cock. 

“I..” you start, feeling your release coming closer, “I’m almost there,” you whisper sweetly to him, you pull his face to yours, kissing him, and you feel yourself come undone underneath him. 

Your mouth falls open with moans, eyes squeezing shut, your walls clenching around his pulsating cock, and he continues to thrust into you. 

“That’s my good fucking girl,” Harry praises you as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm, he follows your release as he lets his orgasm take over him. He releases into you, his cock pumping his seed into you, your pussy clenching on him, and you both pull into each other. Lips wrapped together. 

“Fuck-such a good girl. Taking all of my babies,” he whispers into your mouth as your pussy continues to milk him dry. You both slow down, letting yourself come down your orgasms, and you smile when he peppers your face with kisses. 

He slips out of your sensitive pussy slowly, he walks over to the spare sink, wetting down a washcloth, he walks up to you, eyes never leaving yours, and he reaches down to clean you up slowly. 

You gasp at his touch, his finger slipping into your wet pussy, and he pushes in his sperm deeper inside of you. His eyes watching you drunkenly, “Filled to the brim with my babies.” 

You kiss his cheek when he pulls out, cleans you up nicely, and you slide off the counter. You adjust your dress, fixing your straps, and wiping away any makeup that got messed up. 

Harry is standing behind you as he watches your every move as he cleans himself up. He tucks himself back into his pants and zips himself up. He washes his hands, with a smirk on his lips, and you do the same. It’s quiet now. No more moans or cries or whines anymore. But it’s a calming silence around you. 

You both finish cleaning yourselves up. You turn to look at each other, eyes locking, hands intertwining, and you both lean into each other. His big palm on your cheek, lips brushing against yours, and he pulls your lips against his. 

Kissing slowly. 

His forehead leaning against yours, “Just say it.” 

The unspoken words he wants you to say. You know you can’t. Because you know the minute you say them, he'll do it. He'll leave Vivian without a second thought and you can’t bear the thought of you both breaking the hearts of people you love. 

But are you really doing any better? 

You’re still fucking Harry every chance you get. You just had sex with him with both of your fiancés downstairs.

“We can’t,” you whisper sadly, gripping his hand on your cheek, and you give him one last longing kiss. 

His lips reach for yours when you pull back, his thumb on your lips, his eyes open back up, and you give him a sad smile. 

“Let’s get back to them?” You ask. He nods and unlocks the door. 

“You go first,” he says. You can hear the hurt in his voice, but decide to not comment on it. Knowing what he will say. 

You grip his hand tightly then let go. You fix your dress one last time and give him one last look before heading back downstairs. 

You stop at the bar to get a drink to not look too suspicious before finding Asher. 

Your eyes move along the dance floor to see Vivian dancing with someone you don’t know and Asher is sitting at your table, talking to a friend, with a drink in his hand. 

He’s leaning against his chair, sipping his drink, and looking flushed from all his dancing. He notices you immediately and stands up when you reach him. 

His hands going to your shoulders, eyes worried, and you fake a pout. 

“You okay?” He asks, concerned. His puppy dog eyes wide with worry. 

You nod, kissing his cheek, and whisper,  “That lobster ravioli did not sit well with me.” He laughs at your comment and rubs your belly. 

This would be funny if it wasn’t so horrible. 

“Oh, baby.” He pouts at you and you both sit down. You sip on your drink as he continues his conversation with the person next to him. 

Your eyes catch Harry as he walks down the venue, buttoning his suit jacket in a swift motion, fixing his hair with his hand, and he cuts in with whoever is dancing with Vivian. He wraps his arms around her, her doing the same, and his eyes meet yours. 

He dances around the dance floor with her, but his beautiful green eyes never leave yours. 

You feel jealousy pull the pit of your stomach as you watch them. 

Asher notices the song playing, “Let’s dance, baby.” 

Before you can say anything, he’s pulling you up to your feet, you’d stumble to set your drink down, and you fall into his arms in a slow dance. 

His back is facing Harry, arms around each other, and you continue to dance together. 

But now in a slow song, your eyes never leave Harry’s. 

And you wish it was you in his arms. 

Harry wishes the same. 

But you both know it’ll never happen. No matter how badly you both want it. 

It’s an unspoken acknowledgement between you two. 

You wish things were different. 

You both do. 

[drunk-on-dk]

All I Think About | Choi Seungcheol (m)

✦pairing: fwb!Seungcheol x afab reader ✦genre: smut (minors DNI), a lil bit of fluff and angst ig

✦warnings: teasing, a lil bit of jealousy, emotional constipation, grinding on the thigh, fingering, unprotected sex (pls wear protection), edging, calls the reader a slut, a lil degradation then, rough sex woohoo, kissing on the neck, anyways minors pls do not interact with this thank you. ✦wc: ~3.6K AN: Hi all, this is my first smut/fic post on this Tumblr. I haven't been on this platform in a while, so I apologize as I'm still getting used to it and trying to get more interactive. Otherwise, I just wanted to bite the bullet and get my first writing out on here, it probably could use a little bit more proofreading, but I'm pretty happy with it otherwise. I was heavily inspired by that Enhypen Foreshadow and Taylor Swift Style remix (IYKYK), and played a good bit off of Style for fun. Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy (;

Seungcheol pulled up to your place tonight with no headlights, sending you a text that he arrived and that he was waiting outside in his car. You snuck down the staircase, praying your roommates wouldn’t hear you as you trekked quietly to the front door.

They’d absolutely kill you if they knew you were meeting up with him after you had just spent the last week spiraling over a recent post you saw of him. He was out and about in a club with a group of girls in the class below you. All night, his group of friends and him had been posting belligerent stories of them dancing and drinking with the girls. In the background of one story specifically, he had his arm wrapped around a pretty girl, a gummy smile adorning his face as she leaned over to whisper something in his ear. This had sent you into a week-long spiral, locking yourself in your room only to leave for lectures as necessary and the occasional meal.

However, you had no right to be jealous, and you knew damn well that you didn’t. Seungcheol and you had been best friends for years now, recently becoming friends with benefits the past couple of months after a night of drunken neediness and passion. Both of you had decided to continue the shenanigans since it felt good to let off the steam together, and it just felt so right. Your frequent hangouts becoming much more than the study sessions and casual movie nights. You found yourself becoming addicted to his touch, his scent, his lips; you could go on and on about how he drove you wild in such a different way than before.

You knew you were headed towards rock bottom one night. Your heart fluttered a little faster than normal when he looked softly into your eyes, kissing you with passion as always, hands roaming, and whispering sweet nothings. You thought maybe he felt it too, maybe you should express how you felt, that this was becoming much more than friends with benefits to you. But you were too emotionally constipated to ever say anything and feared the worst. You pushed him away that night, cutting things off abruptly, and escorting him out of your house.

Resultingly, you hadn’t spoken for a month up until now due to how things had ended. It had been a while since either of you had heard from each other, giving you both the space that you needed. However, tonight he had texted you out of the blue, asking what you were doing and if he could come pick you up. You almost jumped out of your bed in giddiness, only for it to die down realizing exactly what he was seeking. Of course, you obliged still, agreeing to meet with him but only on the terms that it had to be on the down low. He knew that your roommates weren’t the biggest fan of him, as they had been his friends too, always encouraging him to speak to you about how he truly felt. He knew he had disappointed them the day after you had kicked him out, your closest roommate eyeing him down as she crossed paths with him on campus.

You shook your head staring at the brief text chain between you and Seungcheol, ashamed of what you two have become. You never thought you’d lose a friend like this, nor that you would ever agree to a midnight booty call in advance. Of course, you were still excited to be reunited with Seungcheol, excitement bubbling in your stomach at the thought of seeing him again. You couldn’t deny that you yearned for his touch, but even more so yearned to hear his laugh again or to be the one to make him smile. You had to hold yourself back from skipping towards the passenger side of his car, trying to remain as indifferent as possible as you opened the door only to see his annoyingly handsome face again.

Seungcheol pulled out of your driveway, turning on his headlights as he drove out of the neighborhood. The air in the car was thick with tension, quiet music playing in the background as you both avoided being the first person to initiate conversation. You kept your attention ahead of you, only focusing on the cars passing by and noting the similar landmarks that you usually passed along the way to Seungcheol’s place. In comparison, Seungcheol couldn’t keep his eyes off you, you felt his gaze shifting towards you every so often, which made you suppress your blush just in case he could see it. If you weren’t being so stubborn, you would have giggled and scolded him to keep his eyes on the road. However, you couldn’t acknowledge the way you felt his eyes burning into you tonight, too scared to spark the conversation first.

Upon arriving at Seungcheol’s place, he quickly turned off the engine and jogged around to open the passenger door for you. You gave him a shy smile to say thank you. His hand gently brushed your lower back as he guided you towards the front door in silence, sending shivers down your spine feeling electrified by his touch. He only took his hand off your back to shuffle in front of you to unlock his front door.

You took advantage of his back facing you, allowing yourself to analyze his figure for the first time tonight. You so badly wanted to run your hands over his broad shoulders or through his thick black hair. It had been slicked back after he kept running a nervous hand through it during the drive, which was something you noticed in addition to his burning eyes. His bright, thick lips were in a pout as he scrambled with his keys.

Seungcheol finally unlocks his front door, holding it open for you and beckoning you to enter before him. The entryway was pitch black; the only light being provided by the moonlight shining through the windows. You both shuffled around in silence, removing your coats and shoes, his hand once again brushing you gently as he reaches for you.

This is when you lost it, shying away from him as your voice betrayed you, letting out what sounded like a whimper, “Don’t you have some other girl to fuck around with now, Seungcheol?”

You can hear him scoff, his hands now grabbing both your arms and slowly leading you back against the wall. “Why do you think that, Y/N?” He’s got you right where he wants you, the soft lighting from the moon illuminating your face so that he can see his effect on you. The light bounces off the wall behind you, allowing you to better see his features as he stares incredulously back at you.

“I s-saw it on Jeonghan’s story, you’ve been hanging out with all those girls lately,” you stutter out and it looks like a lightbulb goes off in his head. You refrain from banging your head back into the wall, feeling incredibly exposed and silly for ever saying anything to your friend. “J-Just thought… thought that maybe you were talking to one of them.”

He lets out a soft laugh, one of the hands that had caged you against the wall wanders up to your cheek to cup it. You try not to lean into his touch, but you can’t help it. His rough thumb caresses your skin so softly that the gentle touch sends heat right down to your core.

“Well, that may be true,” he sighs, and you feel your heart sink a bit. You begin to realize that this is a mistake, squirming to push him away once again. Instead, he shocks you by dipping down to your neck, scattering hot kisses from your ear to your jaw. Hot breath once again tickles your ear, his hands roaming all over your body as you try not to buck your hips into him. “They don’t drive me crazy like you do, I can’t get you out of my mind, Y/N.”

You let out another whimper at his statement, allowing him to continue caressing your body and finally giving in to him. You can feel his smirk pressing into your neck. It’s almost as if he’s trying to feel your pulse through the way he presses his lips against you, relishing in how your heartbeat quickens at his confession as he starts to pepper more kisses along your sensitive spots. You can’t hold back anymore, hands desperately gripping at his shirt as he begins to nip and suck on your neck with new fervor.

Breathing out heavily, you confess, “fuck, Seungcheol, I can’t get you out of my mind either. I missed this, I missed you,” you moan as his teeth graze your jaw, “I missed us.” A confession you hadn’t meant to make, but so be it.

“Same here, baby,” Seungcheol almost growled, this time attaching your lips to his in a heated kiss. You both kissed like you had been starving for one another, his mouth capturing your soft moans and whines with his as you battled for dominance. Your hands made your way to his hair, pulling at the strands as he lets out a groan that has your knees going weak.

Seungcheol notices this, slotting a thigh between your legs as you become needier for his touch. He has you fully pressed up against the wall now, his tongue battling with yours as he lets out soft curses between hot kisses. Your heated core is now pressed up against his thigh, his hands running down your waist to latch onto your hips to help guide you as you grind against him. You moan in relief, his thigh feels so good against your center that you’re almost certain you’ll come undone right then and there.

Your movements get more and more desperate, making Seungcheol’s grasp on your hips a lot firmer than before to forcefully stop your motions. “Why’d you do that, Cheol,” you almost cry out as the high that you’d been chasing slowly ebbed away from your core.

“You don’t get to cum unless I say so,” he spits out as he forcefully grasps your face in one hand. The other hand traveled down to press against your folds through the thin layer of underwear beneath your skirt. The pressure of his hand sent a shock wave of pleasure through you even though you had just been denied an orgasm. “You know what, actually, you don’t get to cum unless you're cumming around my cock.”

Seungcheol lifts you up, throwing you over his shoulder as he carries you to the bedroom. Unceremoniously, he throws you down onto the bed and begins pulling all garments off your body. He litters kisses all over your exposed skin, wasting no time whatsoever as he yanks your bra off and immediately attaches his lips to your nipple. You attempt to fumble with his belt as he pushes you down onto his bed, and he pulls away from you to only pull his shirt off his body. Taking this time as he hovers above you on his knees, he tsks staring down at you in awe, and runs two fingers across your folds, “so beautiful for me, baby. Always so needy for me, look how fucking wet you are just from grinding against my thigh.”

You let out a moan as he sinks both fingers into your seeping core, covering your mouth to absorb your screams into his own. He’s not taking it easy on you as he begins fucking his fingers into you slowly, teasingly, and eventually increases to a brutal pace. He rips your hand away from your mouth, holding it above your head as he continues fingering you, his fingers curling into you and hitting the exact spot that he knows makes you crumble. “Don’t hold back, let me hear you cry out for me.”

You’re breathing heavily as he continues his ministrations, his thumb coming up to rub your clit which earns a scream in between your bated breaths. He feels your walls tightening around his fingers, and he knows your body too well. He can tell by the way your legs threaten to snap shut, using his shoulder to keep them open as he pushes you as close as he can towards the edge. You can feel the pleasure building up again, the pit of arousal in your stomach feeling as if it’s ready to explode as your hips chase the high caused by his fingers.

To your dismay, he pulls out from between your folds, and you’re quick to start begging, “Cheol, pl-please, you were making me feel so good.” He’s quick to shut you up, shoving his fingers right into your mouth.

“Remember what I said, pretty girl?” He hums, keeping his fingers in your mouth as you suck pathetically on them, you nod knowing the exact instructions he gave you earlier. “I said you only get to cum around my cock.”

He pulls his fingers away, messily leaving traces of wetness around your lips, and he can’t help but pull you back in for another heated kiss. He tastes yourself on your lips, and it drives him crazy, grinding his hips right into yours. He finally gives in as you successfully unbuckle his belt this time, helping him shuffle out of his jeans and boxers whilst never letting his lips leave yours. Once his pants are finally off, you reach for his cock, and it already feels hot and heavy in your hand. His size still excited you to this day, his length feeling so big in your tiny hand as you begin to jerk him off using the bit of precum from his tip.

Breathlessly, Seungcheol breaks away from the kiss, lips wandering down your neck to your chest and back to your nipples. He’s groaning against your chest as he sucks on one mound, the other hand coming up to play with the other.

“So big, Cheol, can’t wait for you to fill me up,” you cry out as he sucks extra hard at your nipple, pinching the other one harshly. “It’s all I think about, is you filling me up so good.” Your hand continues to work at his hard length, but he doesn’t allow you to do so for much longer, muttering something about how he won’t last long if you continue touching him like that.

He pulls away to line up with you, his tip teasing your entrance as he looks at you with the softest eyes of the night, “still clean for you, baby, wouldn’t ever think of fucking anyone else but you. Am I crossing a line saying that? All I can think about is fucking you.”

Moaning out, you wrap your legs around him encouraging him, “please, please just do it already.” He slides into you, your warm walls immediately taking him in as if he was made specifically for you. He groans at how tight you feel around him, swearing that he’ll never get sick of how you clench around him every time. You’re both a moaning mess, your nails digging crescent moons into his back as he fills you up completely.

He starts thrusting into you, your legs tightening around him to keep him from teasing you as he pulls his length slowly in and out of you. “So warm and tight, baby. I won’t go anywhere, don’t worry.” His body is now pressed down against yours, your legs pulling him as close as you can as he grinds into you, and his arms next to your head are the only thing holding his full weight from you.

Your legs are already shaking by the time he begins to pick up his pace, the friction of his movement against your clit sending you into madness as he thrusts in and out of you. His lips work at your neck, leaving love bites all along the skin as he whispers curses and dirty words into them.

“Please, fuck me harder,” you begin to cry out, the intense pleasure building up in your core for the final time tonight as your hips start to chase his to pick up the speed, “I can’t take it anymore, Cheol, please just fuck me harder, I need it.”

He’s encouraged by your begging, grabbing your legs and pulling them over his shoulders to get a better angle on you. He doesn’t wait, immediately fucking you harder and faster than before. “Does my little Y/N like that?” He antagonizes between heavy breaths, his pace not faltering as he brings a thumb to your clit. “Who would have thought my best friend was so dirty, such a fucking slut for me, baby.”

“I’m your slut, Cheol, all yours.” You cry out as he keeps up his pace, his cock pounding into you relentlessly as his thumb works at your most sensitive spot. You’re moaning out, tears almost falling from your eyes at the brutal way his hips slam into yours, the pleasure only getting more intense with each thrust.

He knows you’re ready to cum, feeling the way your walls get impossibly tighter around him and at the way your legs begin to shake on his shoulders. You’re crying out at each thrust, only egging him on as he’s starting to reach his end himself.

“Please, let me cum,” you’re screaming, reaching out for his hand that’s working at your clit, the pleasure almost feeling too intense as you try to refrain from cumming without his permission.

Seungcheol continues fucking into you as you beg, keeping the relentless pace until he no longer can hold back himself. “Cum with me, baby,” he’s groaning, as he snaps his hips into yours in such a pleasurable way, you’re immediately milking his cock for all it’s worth. His release follows yours, painting your walls with the white, hot liquid. Yours spasming around him, and he can’t help but give you a few extra leisurely thrusts to work you through your entire orgasm, even if it overstimulates him.

Pulling out of you, he watches as his cum drips from between your folds. It’s a beautiful sight, but not as beautiful as the smile you give him when he finally makes eye contact with you. He curses himself for ever letting you two get this way, curses himself for not fighting you the day you pushed him out of your house, and curses himself for never saying how he truly felt.

Before Seungcheol can utter a word, you’re popping up from the bed and sauntering over to the bathroom to clean up. He takes this time to clean himself up and compose his thoughts. This wasn’t just a booty call for him, he truly did want to reconcile your friendship, or propose even more than that. You truly were all he thought about.

Little does he know, you’re in the bathroom in the same predicament. This night only makes you realize you can’t go much longer without Seungcheol back in your life, even if that means that tonight was the last time you two would ever hook up. You needed to tell him that he can’t play with your heart anymore, that you should either go back to just being friends or figure out what your relationship is.

When you walk out of the bathroom back into his room, you’re both ready to speak your minds as Seungcheol and you begin your sentences.

He lets out a laugh, “go ahead, you first, Y/N.”

You shake your head, signaling that he should go first, “no, no, I’d like to hear what you have to say.” He smiles as you make your way over to him on the bed. He’s laying back on the headboard, his hair messy as he follows your figure with endearing eyes. He’s so cuddly yet fucked out at the same time, that you can’t believe he can look so cute and hot all at once. The temptation to curl up next to him is extremely dangerous, so you keep your distance as you sit down next to him on the bed.

Sighing, Seungcheol finally begins to spill out how hard the past month had been without you in his everyday routine. He rambles on and on as you listen to your best friend turned lover confess his feelings about you. “I truly do think of you, every second of every day, Y/N. I don’t know how it happened, and I don’t know why it took so long for me to realize it. I can’t believe the fact that you kicked me out of your place that one night actually sent me into a downward spiral. I’m sick of us not talking, not going to each other for comfort, and not being friends anymore. However, I’ve realized you are so much more to me than just a friend, and especially more than a friend with benefits. Please, just let me know if I’m making you uncomfortable by confessing all this, I just am going crazy thinking about you all the time-“

You cut him off, rushing across the bed to press your lips to his in a hard kiss. He looks up at you with shock as you pull away, beginning to mutter out another word but you hush him. “Shut up, Cheol. I feel the same way, can’t ever stop thinking about you. I only kicked you out that day since I was so freaked out by my feelings. Clearly, I feel the same way since I almost lost it when seeing you with that girl on Jeonghan’s story last week.”

You both let out a laugh as he pulls you in for another kiss, pulling you into his arms and never letting you go for the night. “Stay with me tonight, Y/N. Stay with me for as long as you'd like.”

“Of course,” you smile up at him, and for the first time, you’re not frightened by the soft look in his eyes. “As long as you take me out on a real date tomorrow.”

There’s the gummy smile that you yearned to see, Seungcheol smiles down at you and promises you all the dates and more for as long as he can. “Believe me, it’s all I can think about, baby.”

[holylulusworld]

How many songs inspired you for writing a fic and which song for which fic? 🎧🎶📖

That’s gonna be a long list. :) For some stories I used the lyrics. Others got inspired by the song but I didn’t use the lyrics.

Dean Winchester

The very first song inspiring my first SPN fanfic was:

"All you had to do was stay" by Taylor Swift: Not like the other girls

Bad Liar by James Blunt

"Shania Twain" by Aura Dione: Souls in rebound

Nothing Breaks Like a Heart by Mark Ronson

Out of style by Taylor Swift

Can’t fight this feeling by Reo Speedwagon

U & Ur Hand by Pink

Girl At Home & I Almost Do by Taylor Swift (these two stories belong together)

Death by a thousand cuts by Taylor Swift ; Walk away, Bonfire Heart & I really want you by James Blunt (these 4 stories belong together)

Say Something & Say Something (2) by A Great Big World

I still cry by Ilse DeLange

Cry (1) by Faith Hill; Wreck (2) by Imagine Dragons; Hope (3) by Natasha Bedingfield (these three stories belong together)

Hush Hush by Avril Lavine

My poison inspired by Alice Cooper’s “poison”

It’s my heart talking inspired by Alice Cooper’s “Only my heart talkin”

The only good thing in life is you inspired by Pink’s “Walk me home…”

Bartender by James Blunt

Wonderman by the Rasmus

See the Sun by Dido

Last kiss by Taylor Swift

Try again by Walking on cars

Dead or alive by Bon Jovi

Car wash by Rose Royce

Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton

Hold on by Chord Overstreet

Give you what you like by Avril Lavigne

Hey Jude, by the Beatles

TNT by AC/DC

A man after midnight by ABBA

Dance for me inspired by Tones’ “Dance Monkey”

In the shadows by the Rasmus

Trouble by Taylor Swift

Uptown Girl by Billy Joel also the alternative version Uptown Boy

Somebody else by Walking on Cars

Next to me by Imagine Dragons

The story of us by Taylor Swift & Broken hearted girl by Beyoncé (these two stories belong together)

Fairytale gone bad by Sunrise Avenue

5 Miles by James Blunt

No body, no crime by Taylor Swift

Childhood Dreams by Nelly Furtado

Don’t give me those eyes, Heartbeat by James Blunt (these two stories belong together)

You belong with me & Forever and always by Taylor Swift (these two stories belong together)

Halfway by James Blunt

Hell, after this & White flag by Dido (these two stories belong together)

King of my heart by Taylor Swift & Queen of my heart by Westlife (these two stories belong together) 

Last Christmas (1) by Wham

Come Undone by Duran Duran

Monster by Walking on cars

Give a little bit of your heart to me inspired by Supertramp’s “Give a little bit"

You don’t have to put that red light on inspired by The Police’s “Roxanne”

Getaway car by Taylor Swift

Don’t marry her by Beautiful South

_____

Sam Winchester

Wish for something more by Amy McDonald

Love tonight inspired by “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” by Elton John

Tangerine & How Many More Times by Led Zeppelin 

Sometimes love ain’t enough by Don Henley und Patty Smyth

The way we were by Barbara Streisand

_____

 John Winchester

Love in the Dark by Adele & Bring me to life by Evanescence (these two stories belong together)

Dear John, Dear John – The road to redemption & Dear John - Revenge served bloody by Taylor Swift (these three stories belong together)

_____

Winchesters

Hungry like the wolf by Duran Duran

_____

Jared Padalecki

Watching for Comets by Skillet

_____

Jensen Ackles

Sand in my shoes by Dido

Piece by Piece by Kelly Clarkson

____

Bucky Barnes

Waiting on the corner by Walking on cars

Afraid to sleep by Dido & Send my love to your new lover by Adele (feat. Steve Rogers)

_____

Sebastian Stan

You love me not - this whole series got inspired by different songs

_____

Steve Rogers

Shallow by Lady Gaga

The Only One by James Blunt

War Paint by Kelly Clarkson

Shallow Heart (feat. Bucky) by James Blunt

The Moment I Knew & The Last Time by Taylor Swift

Maneater by Nelly Furtado