#trying 2 convince myself that this internship does NOT matter this is just a practice internship i can be dumb as hell and dick around for t

[catsip]

Objectively it’s hilarious how quickly i crumble under pressure

[fairestwriting]

title: half doomed and semi-sweet

word count: 5308

summary: Idia's bad luck comes back to haunt him again, being dragged into physically showing up to class and being assigned a group project involving a student from a different year, courtesy of Mr. Trein. His... "best friend", Kero Tricarenia, sees his distress in the situation, and swoops in to save him, though that might be what actually ends him instead of the project...

commissioned by @chibichibisha  , available on ao3 here ! tysm for the commission, i hope you like it! you have no idea how excited i was to write kero asjkdfsf-

my guidelines for commissions are here, in case anyone else is interested !

Of course that in the day Idia is made to actually show up to class, something like this happens.

The fact that it’s Trein’s class just makes it somehow worse. Of course, it’s not all bad, he gets to see Lucius napping on the teacher’s desk—! ...but, he also gets to be pestered by Cater the second he’s walking in, and then the second he’s walking out, plus, just the presence of all these people… Idia shudders just thinking about it.

He pulls his hoodie closer to his face, trying to shield it in vain. He just wanted to go back to his room. Trein was the worst for making him actually show up. He’d been attending classes through the tablet for so long, what was the issue with today specifically? Why couldn’t he just do it the way he always does? He just doesn’t get it—

“Before class is dismissed,” Trein starts in that voice of his, commanding yet with a hint of a drawl that makes Idia want to delve into eternal slumber. “I have an announcement to make. Due to recent events, the headmaster has assigned the teachers the task of building… teamwork, and solidarity, between students, even the ones in different years, and I’ve been chosen to apply that, so your monthly History assignment will work somewhat differently this time.”

Great. Awesome. These were his favorite words in the whole world. As if today couldn’t get any worse.

“I’ll need you to gather a pair or trio with students from different years, to build a mockup representing a historical event of your choosing. You’re supposed to inform me of your groups until tomorrow's class, and the deadline will be held two weeks from now, on February 13th. You’ll be presenting your works the day after.”

Idia feels the clammy hands of dread on both his ankles, threatening to pull him under. Of course this would get worse somehow. He exhales a deep sigh, burying his face on his hands… he’d have to email Mr. Trein about doing the assignment by himself later. And it’d be such an unpleasant conversation, with how he insisted on having students follow all these traditional learning methods.

Really, why the hell were they getting group projects now, out of all things? They had one foot out of school, basically. Fourth year barely had any classes, most of the students’ times filled up with internships and research so what did they get out of trying to “develop teamwork skills” within their students? None of these people would be talking to each other by the time they graduate, anyways… they were wasting resources to max out a stat that didn’t matter.

He tugs the hood of his jacket over his face again as he walks out of the classroom, sneaking outside like he’s avoiding to get scolded — The blue glow of his hair insisting on sticking out, Idia feels his heart race and squeeze while he makes his way across the crowded hallways. He swears he hears Cater’s voice calling for him as he leaves, too… but maybe he’s just making it up, because of how especially cursed he feels today.

What an awful morning, really. At least locking himself up with that MMO he’s gotten hooked on recently would feel even more cathartic.

After the nerve-wracking walk, Trein’s words poking at him like imps with their tridents — Him trying to figure out how to convince that teacher to let him do everything by himself, no presentation included, without having to actually face the guy — Idia finally gets back to his dorm. Finally.

He releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding — Just like in the fanfics, geez — when he steps into the lounge, though even the mostly vacant blue and white space felt a little oppressive now. Sure, he cared about his dormmates, they were fine people, but they were still people, and what he really needed now, was…

“IDIA!”

...within one second of the click of his door being unlocked, Idia is reminded once again that he never will know peace.

“K-Kero!” He yelps, suddenly overwhelmed by a hug, arms around his entire body squeezing him tight, maybe too tight— It’s a second before he remembers this is in fact supposed to be his room. “W-Wait, what are you doing here? That’s my room!”

Unleashed from the mighty grip, red eyes meet Idia’s as Kero’s head tilts, a smile on his face flashing his sharp teeth.

“I know that! I was looking for you.” He just announces, following right behind with that skip on his step as Idia enters and locks the door behind them. He hadn’t seen Kero in… how long, now? It’d been a while, that much he knew. Idia had been busy lately, with… “You finished that tournament yesterday night, right? How did you do? I got you that cake from the cafeteria you like to celebrate!” His questions are rapid-fire, tail wagging as he rushes towards Idia’s unmade bed to pick up the little packaged treat he’d gotten.

“You don’t even know how it went yet, but you’re already getting your hopes up.” Idia grumbles, but the second the package is placed on his hands, he does gracefully accept it. “Well, my team did win, so…”

“Yes! I knew you would!” Kero cheers, grinning again as he sits on his bed. He’s… so full of energy it’s hard to watch, Idia would say.

But, well, that would kind of be a huge lie.

“Yeah, thanks for leaving me be for a bit so I could practice.” He mutters, moving to sit on his desk chair. The package makes a crinkling plastic noise while he messes with it, opening it to reveal a slice of strawberry shortcake — That has him glancing at Kero for a second, a fuzzy feeling taking over.

...because that’s just what his emotions do now.

It was stupid, Idia’s sighing tiredly just thinking about it — When it started was beyond him, but for some reason or another, something keeps pulling him towards Kero. It’s not exactly a big deal, some sort of soul-binding string of fate or something like that, but even when he’s not there physically, Kero lingers, flashes of sharp teeth and boisterous laughing in Idia’s mind. It’s not a big deal! But it’s like Kero had hanged around him so much he left a mark.

And Idia doesn’t really hate that. He stares at the cake in his hands, and thinks of Kero smiling as he got it for him, without any sort of request, just because he saw the cake and remembered that he liked it, and his mind stresses just how much he doesn’t hate that.

(...well, it was a sort of doomed thing, they would never move on from this strange affectionate friendship, because Idia isn’t going to… tell Kero he’s crushing on him, or anything like that. That’d just screw everything up. And what he has now isn’t actually bad at all. Really, it’s fine if Kero never understands. It’s fine. )

“Are you… good, though? Do you need anything?” Kero asks, snapping him out of the messy daydreams with another good natured tilt of his head — He’s a dog alright. “You… just look kinda gloomy and stuff.”

Idia snickers, shaking his head. “Yeah, like I ever look different.” He mumbles, and takes a bite of cake. It’s sweet, he thinks, making a surprised noise as he wonders when the last time he had it was… he licks some whipped cream off his fingers. “Mm, this time is different though. Something with a group project from Mr. Trein… tires me out just to think about it.” He sighs. But Kero’s ears perk up, pointing straight upwards.

“Oh! That, yeah. He told 2-D about it today too.”

“Yeah. This sucks. I’m just gonna… find a way to work by myself.” Idia shakes his head, sinking on his chair a little further. He bites into the cake again. “You think Mr. Trein knows how to read emails?” He snickers, but the thought of having to meet him face-to-face makes his skin crawl. “...ugh, I d-don’t wanna have to talk to him during office hours…”

Kero hums in slightly concerned acknowledgement, plopping down on his bed with attentive eyes. Idia finds himself in a weird wondering of how it felt like to sit down when you were a beastman. Did it hurt his tail or something? It’s wagging against the mattress, though. His ears point to opposite sides while he looks up vaguely. Idia muses about what he might be thinking about.

“Well, you could always do it with me! They said to get one of your underclassmen, right.” Kero suggests, and… Idia swears he sees his tail wag a little harder, but that could very well just be a trick of the light. “I can do the presentation too, and I’m good with building things, so…” He grins. “Plus, you won’t have to… talk to Mr. Trein.”

Idia hums through a mouthful of cake. Well, doing the project with Kero would certainly be better than with someone he didn’t know. However, it’s…

His eyes linger on Kero’s expectant form on his bed, smiling so cheerfully. He’s very aware of the couple feet of distance between them right now, and even like this, Kero’s presence does things to his heart… that’s bad, so bad, he thinks, it’s hard to ignore how his heartbeat is just a tad faster now, summed with this different flavor of nervousness that just seemed to simmer in his blood now… yeah, it’s no good.

“I m-mean, I guess I wouldn’t mind that.” Is what he stutters out. Kero beams.

Stupid cute Kero. This isn’t helping Idia convince himself none of this is a big deal.

“Yeah! If you’re doin’ a project you might as well do it with your best friend, right?” He says. Here he is again with the best friend talk… oh, if only he knew. “We can have fun with it too. Actually, I can have fun with everything as long as I’m with you, heh.”

Idia feels heat creeping up his neck. Stupid cute Kero! “Ugh, you d-don’t gotta be embarrassing about it.” He mumbles, eyes averted. The cake finished with one last bite, Idia places the empty package on his desk, licking leftover cream off his fingers again. “We’re just putting some annoying mockup together. It’s not a big deal. If we add some simple machines to it to make it cooler it’ll already be higher-res than everyone else’s, it’s just an easy A. Everyone else’s just gonna use magic, I bet.”

“Yeah, obviously. I mean it doesn’t have to be annoying, though.” Kero comments. “We’ve gotta choose a historical event, right? Do you have any ideas?”

“Uhhh. The industrial revolution of the Isle of Lamentation? That’s… pretty much all I paid attention to this year, anyways.” He shrugs. Trein’s classes were boring, naturally. And they were so early in the morning, too… his tablet may have been there most of the time, but Idia himself was passed out on his bed.

“I think that works! We’ll have to make a bunch of stuff for the machines. But that’ll be fun.”

Idia hums. He’s thinking about these machines, actually, the miniature factories they could put together. The blueprints begin to write themselves up rather quickly. “We’d blow their little minds if we just had some… smoke coming out of the chimneys, some gears spinning around. Fuhihi, our mockup might be the best.” With his head in the clouds — Or the laboratory, rather — he finds himself grinning, waving a finger in the air. “Hey, Kero, what do you th… huh?”

And Kero isn’t on his bed anymore. He’s right there, in front of him.

Before Idia can say anything about this (Kero right in front of him, leaning in closer, he feels so cornered, his heart might stop!) Kero leans in even further, a big hand coming up to his face and (He’s going to die, definitely, he’ll die right here.) and he wipes off some whipped cream from near Idia’s lips.

“You had some on your face! Heheh.” He chuckles, licking it off his thumb. Idia feels like his blood pressure has just plummeted, or… or maybe it just did the opposite, how is he supposed to tell? His face feels so hot there’s no way his brain is getting the proper oxygen at all, he can barely think—!

“G-Give me a warning before you do something like this!” Idia wheezes, high pitched like a squeaky toy, and Kero just laughs again, grinning with this hint of mischief. “I didn’t even see you move!”

“Yeah, ‘cause you were distracted? I’m happy you’re excited about the project, though. I think it’s cute.” He says outright, and Idia… Idia just puts his hands on his face, averting his eyes with intent. Why does Kero have to be... so... much? “C’mon, you can sit with me on the bed. We can talk better like this.” A strong hand grabs at his wrist, easily looping around it as he pulls at Idia, making him squeak again as he’s dragged towards the bed.

“This doesn’t even make any sense!” Idia complains, but Kero tugs him towards the bed with no effort at all, and he just accepts his fate, huffing like it’d ease the warmth crawling all over his face. “Ugh, a-anyway, I was talking about the factories we’d put on the mockup… I thought of having some machines with exposed insides, with the spinning gears would be good, and conveyor belts that function…”

As he launches into explanation, Kero nods, making this unbreakable eye contact. Idia has to stop and take a deep breath every couple minutes, the situation somehow overwhelming. It feels like his condition just got a little worse every day, huh.

(Well, it’s fine. He could just avoid him if things got bad. Though… he doesn’t like thinking about this, recalling the week before the game tournament even. It’s kind of stupid, if he’s just making Idia nervous why does he have this need to keep him around? As expected, emotions make little to no sense...)

“...so, basically that’s what I thought.” Idia ends the explanation. Kero still has his attentive look on his face, almost like it froze there. “Did you pay attention?”

“Nah. I was just looking at you while you talked, ‘cause you looked so pretty.” Kero leans in with a smirk (Can he please stop trying to kill Idia, he’s just gotten down to a normal-ish heart rate again!) that then turns into one of his usual friendly smiles. “Kidding! I did, yeah. Do you wanna start it tomorrow?”

“You…! Uh, um, I don’t know. I wanna play my new game.” He stumbles with speaking, but it still comes out. At least. “We could probably finish that in, what, two days at most? If you don’t mind going to the lab late at night.”

“Roger that. For Idia, I’ll go to the ends of Twisted Wonderland!” He declares, fist thumping against his chest with a proud grin. “I’ll get us your snacks too. Can’t have you going hungry. But now I gotta go to track.”

Idia blinks. Already? He remembers that club meetings do in fact exist. He’d been skipping on his lately so he ended up kind of… forgetting them. Seeing Kero go, though, it’s…

“R-Right, I hope you, uh… enjoy yourself.” He stutters. Then he wants to hit himself on the face, really, what kind of stupid farewell was that? Just say bye and go back to your games, idiot. Luckily, Kero doesn’t seem to mind it.

“Yeah, yeah, I will!” He chimes, getting up from the bed — Leaning down a little, he puts a hand over Idia’s flaming hair, ruffling it to his surprise. “I’ll see you, okay? Literally. I’m coming over again later, ‘cause after all this time I’m not leaving my best friend alone!”

Idia feels frozen in place while Kero pets him, eyes zeroed in on that grin — Before he leaves, and he exhales. Again. That breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

He doesn’t play the game yet. Instead, he lays face down on the bed and screams into the pillow, whatever feelings had been simmering while Kero was around just exploding the second he leaves. Great Seven, he was so stupid. Both of them, actually.

Kero was stupid for not seeing how much this crush was clearly consuming him, and Idia… Idia was stupid for getting involved in any of this at all, in so many ways and for so many reasons, but he just can’t bring himself to stop now.

He swears it’s not that big of a deal. But it’s a lie, obviously. Clearly.

. . .

Once he’s back into his room after practice, Kero shuts his door behind him, and he laughs.

He feels the strain on his body from the running, sure, but every bit of it is somehow also filled with so much energy — With his hands on his face like how Idia does when he’s shy, he grins so much his cheeks hurt with the pulling. His heart won’t stop racing.

Who let him be so adorable!

He knew they’d end up doing this project together, of course. When Trein mentioned it’d involve students from different years, Idia was the first person Kero thought of! But the reality still makes him so giddy. To think he’d have a chance to do a project with him! He’s really been too lucky these days. Trein was… something else, to him, but with something like this, he might be willing to overlook the fact that the guy was absolutely terrifying.

Well, what matters is that he gets some more time with Idia — Even better, they’d be alone together! — The tournament week sucked, straight up. Kero ran some errands for him but it just wasn’t the same! Though he didn’t mind this sort of caretaking either, Idia barely took breaks. He didn’t even tell him much about the game he was playing, actually. Kero was basically crawling up the walls with how bored he’d gotten.

But that’s irrelevant now.

Still grinning and laughing to himself with all that burst of energy running through his skin, Kero hops over to his desk — With how he was, Idia would probably have some blueprints for the machines ready soon, but this was a nice chance to impress. He gathers some parts and tools, and gets to work.

...work that takes longer to complete than it usually does for him, but as expected, through the following days, Idia texts him vague guidelines on what their mockup should be like, ideas and half-baked blueprints that they discuss both through the phone and when he shows up at Idia’s place, and when the fated day of getting together at Ignihyde’s laboratory arrives, he has all those trinkets on his desk. He’s so ready.

ill see you there at 2, Idia’s text reads, bring the stuff i told u to make

Yes, yes, right away! Kero smiles bright as he gathers the miniature machines into a shoe box he’d gotten for them. He can feel his tail wag with excitement even as he carries it through the gloomy late-night corridors.

The door opened with a bang — Oops, he definitely handled it too roughly — Kero chimes as soon as he sets foot into the lab. “Idia!” He calls when he arrives. “I’m here!”

“Eek!” Idia, who was already leaned over the table, spreading scratchy blueprints and machine parts on it, is startled in a jolt. “D-Don’t sneak up on me like this! Geez…”

“Heheh, sorry, sorry.” Kero laughs, setting the box near the other items on the table, which Idia eagerly turns to inspect, complaints or not. Well, if that was the case, he’d inspect Idia for a bit too. He was looking unusual today, after all! Without that heavy jacket of his, wearing his lab wear and striped shirt. Kero’s heart leaps. “You’re looking good today, huh! ‘s unusual to see you looking like this, like… one of these R cards from your gacha games, or something.”

Kero feels proud of himself for the comment — Hey, Idia, look at me, I pay attention to your rambling! But Idia makes an offended noise instead.

“T...The R cards are the common ones, stupid.” He scoffs, giving him a narrow eyed look, but there’s still a soft flush of pink over his cheeks. “Ugh, I can’t believe I let you spend time with me when you don’t know that.”

Well. Kero tried, all he can do is laugh about it. At least he didn’t miss the compliment entirely! “Ehh, you do it ‘cause we’re best friends and you love me!” He says. “C’mon, we should get started on this already.”

“...y-yeah, yeah, whatever.” Idia shakes his head, but when he turns his face towards the table to look at their work in progress, there’s a slight smile on his blue lips that Kero couldn’t possibly miss. “Did you make the conveyor belts? I think I forgot to send you anything on these, couldn’t decide what material would be better for them…”

Moments like these are just so… so everything. Kero can’t find the words to describe how happy he is to be around Idia and be able to say things like that! Though, he feels it’s not exactly enough… even if all of this does feel nice, and he’s grateful for it.

(Well, he has a crush on Idia, that much he knows, so he guesses that’s something to be expected, in a way? He’s heard his classmates talking about the being unable to get enough related to someone so it was just part of it, probably. What they have now is good, straight out of his dreams even! Just… feelings are weird, aren’t they? He keeps wanting more, though he doesn’t know exactly what would sate this hunger.)

“Oh, I did rubber on the top and some of that light metal for the parts. I thought it’d be better if we don’t make it too heavy!” Kero replies, digging around for his own lab gear he’d brought. They might have to do some welding today, so it was always good to be careful.

(Plus, they got to match outftits!)

Idia nods, focused gaze on a miniature engine. “Ohh… huh. That’s good, actually. I think this might be easier than I thought.” He mutters. “We have all the parts to build the interior of the factory… I guess we could put that together tonight, and tomorrow we can get the rest? For the outside, I guess. If we just focus on the factory instead of the, uh, social repercussions or something like that, Trein might deduct points.”

He feels his ears deflate just a little at the teacher’s mention. “Tell me about it.” Idia passes him the engine, a silent command for him to get to work linking it with the other right parts. “Do you want me to get the stuff for the scenery from the store?”

“Yeah, sure. Would be helpful.”

Kero smiles at him, and for a single silent moment they’re putting the machine parts together. Engines and gears and a seemingly endless stretch of conveyor belts, wires and such hidden on the inferior part of the styrofoam slab the mockup was being built on.

“...hey, is that the battery?”

“Yup! Just gotta charge with magic whenever you wanna see it working.”

Idia turns it around on his hands, looking at it from every angle, making a humming noise to himself…

Huh, Kero is suddenly very aware that they’re all alone in that laboratory.

Maybe it’s because of how Idia looks at the small object, or how he touches it with this utmost care one wouldn’t think he has. It’s weirdly easy for other people to assume Idia was lazy, Kero recalls, and it was something he never really understood. He was such a diligent person, actually, but people couldn’t see it right because he didn’t put effort into things people commonly worked hard in. That makes him feel sort of bitter inside, he thinks, but also proud in a way.

He’s the only one who knows Idia this closely, it comes into Kero’s mind, and a smile sprawls across his face.

“...w-what? Why are you looking at me like that?” Of course, Idia notices. The pinkish glow on his face before turns into something more like strawberry red, and… agh, what the hell, Kero’s smile gets bigger.

“It’s ‘cause you’re so cute, of course!” He says without missing a beat. How many times has he called Idia cute now? Far too many to count. But he can’t stop, and it never feels like enough to show just how god damn adorable Idia was to him. It was such a crazy feeling, really.

“Gh… and you’re e-embarrassing, as always.” Idia responds as he averts his eyes. “We’ve gotta finish this as soon as possible, y’know, now’s not the time for...t-this.”

“What do you mean with this?” Kero asks amidst a laugh. Idia looks at him with this cranky sort of expression and his heart feels like it’s about to take off and fly, wow. “You asked me a question and I answered it!”

“Yeah, you answered it while being a jerk.” Idia mumbles, getting back to unscrewing something. Kero doesn’t get what he mean with it exactly but, well, he always says stuff like this.

“I mean it, though! I think you’re really cute.” He says, it’s so easy to say things like that, they end up just coming out on their own, even when he’s trying to put his brain cells back into work like Idia wants him to. “I tell you that all the time! D’you not think you’re cute?”

Idia glances at him with wide eyes. “I...n-no? What in the Lord of the Underworld makes you think I’m c-cute?” He asks, voice almost an octave higher.

Something about this strucks Kero differently. Is that a rhetorical question? It doesn’t matter. He wants to answer.

“Well, do you want me to tell you?” He suggests, and his heart is racing. It takes just a little bit of effort to ask something like this, it’s not quite having to hype himself up for it, but… well. What’s with this mood anyways? Idia’s hands are on his flushed cheeks, gloved fingers ready to cover up his eyes, like he usually does when he’s flustered — And here’s something to add to the list already, wow.

“I-I, um.”

“If you don’t say no I’m gonna tell you.” He looks straight into Idia’s eyes… such a nice shade of yellow, an amber-gold. Kero doesn’t always mean to tease, but now he does. He has a strong impulse to do it, a determination like he’s rushing towards the finish line in track — What sort of face would Idia show him if he told him everything? “Three, two, one…you lost your chance to say no! I’m gonna tell you.”

Idia squeaks like he got jumpscared, but he doesn’t object to any of it. Kero’s excited — He takes a step closer, and takes it upon himself to touch Idia’s hair again, because he absolutely couldn’t get enough of how it didn’t burn him.

“First of all, I know you hate it since it sticks out so much, but your hair is really cute.” He says, tucking a lock of hair behind Idia’s ear, feeling him shrink and tense under the light touch — Would he do that if Kero touched him more? If he wrapped his arms around Idia’s waist and held him close? “It’s so bright and pretty, and the bangs look so nice on you, they’re kinda messy and long but in a way that’s adorable.”

Indulging himself a little further, he lets his hand ghost over Idia’s bangs, brushing them to the side and watching them fall back into place. Idia’s face is fully red now. The hair doesn’t feel like much to the touch since it’s fire, actually, but, something about it…

“Second! You have a cute smile!” Kero chimes. He’s supposed to retract his hand now, but — It just stays on Idia’s cheek. And he finds that he really doesn’t want to take it off there. “When you talk about the things you like, and you get all excited about them and start grinning… it’s really cute, actually. I like it when I see you all full of energy.”

Idia’s eyes dart around. Are his hands shaking? Kero eyes at them briefly, before taking one into his — Unable to stop himself again — and the latex of his glove meets Idia’s, watched by wide amber eyes as he laces their fingers together. Shaking, indeed, but he was able to steady them.

“Third… related to that, how your hands move when you’re rambling. I stare at them a lot. That’s how much I love to see you all excited about stuff.”

His voice had fallen softer. The coldness of the laboratory seems to just fade. Kero’s heart feels…

“Fourth...” He starts, but no words come to him. He just stares at Idia’s face, his eyes, the blue tint of his lips. There’s more to say, obviously, but he can’t think of it, and he— “...can I kiss you?”

Somehow there’s no recoil time, no surprised noise on Idia’s part, and though he loves his shyness and how it shows through, he finds that he loves it even more when he’s expecting something like this, when he wants it. The shaky, uncertain nod is all he needs to give a name to that hunger he’d been feeling.

Ah, he was in love, everything be damned.

Kero doesn’t hesitate. One hand on his cheek and the other holding his, his lips meet Idia’s, his heart now soaring completely. If he looked back on it now he’d probably find it sort of awkward, Idia’s lips are chapped and the sharp teeth felt strange against each other, but none of this matters when he feels so euphoric, when Idia just melts into his kiss, eyes fluttering shut.

He doesn’t know how long it lasts. The brief pauses to breathe aren’t enough to actually do so, but neither of them seem to mind. The held hands unlace, Idia’s coming up to Kero’s neck to urge him closer, Kero’s on Idia’s waist like he’s dreamed.

When they pull away, both breathless, Kero is grinning, and Idia looks dazed, his eyes glossy, at least for a moment before he seems to realize what they’ve just done.

“O-Oh my...we.” He squeaks, freezing in Kero’s embrace. “W-We, we just…”

“Hey, it’s cool!” Kero assures, and he pulls him a bit closer, now causing a small shriek. “I love you, you know.”

“Y-You…” Idia stutters. How long would it be until he was able to string sentences together again? Kero doesn’t have an exact estimate, but, well, this was fine too. Especially as his tension drops, and he hides his warm face on Kero’s shoulder. “...you’re the worst? You’re so embarrassing I could die.”

“That’s a quick recovery, huh.”

“S-Shut up!” Idia whines, but he stays. He stays, and Kero holds him so close that his happiness feels like it’s overflowing, and the cravings from before are just slowly satisfied. “I… I, um.”

“Tell me.” A hand on the side of Idia’s face, he pulls his face upwards, making him look into his eyes again — Would he ever get enough of this, though? They’re so close. “Do you love me too, Idia?”

Idia hesitates, an embarrassed noise leaving him.

“I… I do.” He mutters — And he smiles. “You idiot.”

Kero smiles, his feelings actually overflowing in how he hugs Idia even tighter, and he laughs.

The project could be finished tomorrow, anyways.

[notbecauseofvictories]

Can I ask what field your new job is in? I know you wanted to move away from law; I want to move away from the career path I've spent all the years since graduating university bolting myself to, and I just wondered how you did it/ if you did it, and what kind of sideways movements made sense for you?

For privacy reasons, I won’t talk explicitly about my new job, though you’re correct it’s not an attorney position. (I still love law but I’m not barred in Illinois and I haven’t been practicing long enough to waive in, which makes finding attorney jobs very difficult until I can retake the bar.)

I will say that if you want to move away from a particular career path, there are a couple questions I’ve found helpful to ask myself:

1.) What do I want to do when I grow up?

I am a big proponent of the game plan. 

You can, of course, jump off a cliff with no parachute or idea of what waits for you at the bottom. That is a certain kind of game plan! And some people pull it off with great aplomb, I’m not knocking it. However, I am a risk-adverse, pragmatic scaredy cat, and I absolutely never start something unless I have at least a vague idea of the best- and worst-case results. So when I’m about to make a life change like “get out of terrible job, move back to Chicago” I start by figuring out—well, what the hell does that actually look like?

But before I think about what that looks like, I take a step back and ask myself a whole battery of questions:

What is my ideal, perfect-world job? What’s my title? What are the hours I work? Do I travel often, not at all, somewhere in between?

What do my dream responsibilities consist of? 

How much interaction am I comfortable with—would I be happy sitting behind a desk all day, or do I want to be out among the people?

How much authority would be happy with? Do I want to be in charge, or is following orders where I’m most comfortable?

What else do I want in my life, such that I’m willing to make career tradeoffs? (e.g., do I want a family I spend lots of time with, a hobby I can devote myself to outside of the 9-to-5, a charity or start-up that I see as my real passion?)

Where do I want that perfect-world job to be? Am I happy changing cities, moving frequently, to pursue the work I want to do, or does location come first and drive what jobs I’m willing to take?

[An additional question you encounter a lot as a lawyer is: “are you okay not necessarily believing in the organization you serve? do you care whether  you serve a particular mission, or are you really just here to draw a paycheck and not break laws?” but I recognize that’s a conundrum probably….unique to lawyers.]

After answering the questions above, you might realize that your exact, ideal dream job doesn’t exist—that’s fine! but a valuable first step is understanding what your priorities are, where you see yourself being happy, and what you think is important in your professional life.

2.)  What steps would I very likely need to take to get there?

Even if it does exist, chances are you won’t be able to leapfrog from your current position to your exact, ideal dream job. (FYI, my current position is not my dream job or even really a stepping stone to the dream job; I made compromises based on other criteria.) So the next step is the inevitable plunge back into reality—namely, okay, so how the hell do I get to where I’m going???

If you don’t already know (which is likely, given that this isn’t your field) then this step is a knowledge-gathering endeavor. You’re trying to figure out what the path looks like, so naturally, consult other people on the path you’re interested in. 

Personally, I highly encourage you utilize the absolute crap out of your network. 

By which I mean: stalk facebook, LinkedIn, your school’(s) alumni pages, your parent’(s) friends, your friends’ friends, the people who work at the same place you do (even if you’ve never met them), everyone you have a mutual connection with via social media, individuals who belong to a professional association you hope to join, academics/journalists/lawyers/etc. with non-private twitters who you’ve looked up to for a long time and whose career you want to emulate, etc. If they’re nearby, invite them to a 15-20 minute coffee break. If they’re interested in mentoring, do lunch, dinner. Follow up with the professors who inspired you and email people who make news about stuff you want to work on. If you’re interested in going back to school for a degree (the clearest way to communicate a professional shift, fyi) then email the school you’re interested in and let them fete you. You’re going to be so obnoxious!!!*

* Do not be obnoxious. If you’re looking for a polite way to introduce yourself to someone you don’t know personally but hope to make a professional connection with, see me after class.

And honestly, sometimes the answer is a degree, a certification, a particular internship or a personal connection. Sometimes the answer is redrafting your resume. Sometimes the answer is “well, you’d really want to work as X or Y before I consider you for Z.” Sometimes the advice is, “sorry, we only consider graduates from this school/that internship/etc. and you aren’t so.” 

You end up having to keep looking, and looking and looking. There are a lot of ways to get rejected from a job these days. There are similarly a lot of ways to get where you’re going, whether you know about them or not.

………I’d also urge you to keep in mind that all advice (all of it, even mine!) is personal. When people talk about their careers, career paths, and their strategies for attaining both, they are speaking from a deeply private place—as much as “how to know your romantic partner is The One.” It’s just a bit more prosaic in its outlook. 

3.)What skills do I currently have, or can reasonable acquire in my current role, that will take me from A to X/Y/Z/or ultimately B?

Even if you could snap your fingers and go from point A (where you are) to point B (where you ideally, perfectly, want to be) chances are the you that currently, professionally exists wouldn’t be prepared for it. So as you think about transition to a stepping-stone job, or a new field, think seriously about what the hell you bring to the table and how you’ll convince that interviewer that actually, you’re perfect for the job. 

It does take some creative thinking and a little bit of conniving corporate wordplay (which is fair game, as the corporations invented it first.) For example:

Have you worked as a McDonalds’ drive-thru window representative and shift manager for the past 5 years? well, congratulations, you are, right now, an expert in customer service and human capital resource management. 

Are you currently a lowly typist-slash-clerk? well, mazel, because actually your specialty is in database management and particularly data cleansing, you could probably pass yourself off as an analyst if you knew a little R, python, or other programming languages.

Do you deal with disgruntled customers all day? Well done, because literally every industry will hire you, they all have angry people who call the hotline/helpline/tipline/etc. and are constantly on the lookout for humans who will not shout YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE back at said disgruntled customers.

Have you been in a different industry, but are looking to transition to a similar role in a new industry? Well done, you, talk about your leadership, curiosity, and self-starter attitude. Managers love a self-starter, probably because they like to entertain visions of not having to do work.

If you feel you could attain the necessary skills in your current role, sometimes  it’s just matter of talking to your current boss (depending on the boss!) Saying, “hey, I’m really interested in Z, could you put me on Z? is there any Z to be had?” is a good first step. Even just to tell the interviewer for a position with a lot of Z duties that you went to your boss saying “I want to do Z, Z is def a priority for me.”

4(ish): Keep reevaluating, based on the new information you acquire.

Going through Step #1 now, answering those questions about myself and my ideal work/workplace/job, is a completely different experience than it was in early 2018. As a recent law school graduate, all I thought about was finding the best learning experience—a year and 6 months later, having been run through the wringer of one helluva a learning experience, I can tell you that there is other stuff to think about. It’s not that my answers have changed, I would still be happy traveling, working long hours, with diverse clients. But there’s other stuff I couldn’t even conceive of then, that I realized (the hard way) was very important to me.

So don’t be afraid to revisit your answers, to keep thinking, reevaluating, considering where you are and where you want to end up.

[sortinghatchats]

Sorting The Get Down

For those who are new to the sortinghatchats system, check out our basics post. But to sum it up: the way we play this game, your “primary” House is WHY you do things and your “secondary” House is HOW.

We just really like defining our terms, okay. It makes us happy.

“If making something of myself means losing myself, then what am I making?”

Ezekiel “Zeke” “Books” Figuero.

For someone who appears so pulled between two people– Shao and Mylene– it seems like Zeke ought to be a loyalist house like Hufflepuff or Slytherin. However, despite the existence of these two pretty faces, it’s not the people who Zeke is torn between-- the story. He's torn between the realities that Mylene and Shao respectively adhere to. Shao believes in the music; Mylene believes in more practical things.

Tellingly, when Zeke brings up how he feels pulled apart, it’s more often “Mylene/Shao was right” rather than anything about what they mean to him. The thing that most drives his decisions and his desires is what he thinks is true, real, and right. Who he loves plays second fiddle to what he believes. 

Zeke’s a Gryffindor primary, and a “burned” one, who wants very badly to be sure, to act and not regret, but who continually doubts his own instincts and ambitions. Throughout the series, Zeke tries to borrow the surety of the people around him who he trusts– primarily Mylene and Shao, but occasionally others. 

Mylene and her uncle believe (and try to convince Zeke) that if you play the game, you can come out on top– do well in school, take the internship, nod and smile and dance when you need to. The world is not exactly fair, but it’s winnable. Zeke tries to live in their world, but the dishonesty he feels it requires rankles him to his very Gryffindor core. 

Zeke is a Gryffindor secondary, as well as a primary, and it’s this secondary that makes even minor deceit so unappealing to him. Zeke is honest, blunt, and–when he’s “on”–blazingly inspirational to the people around him. Whether Shao, who would follow Zeke into a burning building, or the crowds that flock to his words, Zeke is a poet who hands people a part of himself and changes them in the giving. 

That’s what burns in the poem his teacher tries to get him to read. That’s what first brings him to Shao’s attention, spitting words at him even with a knife to his throat. That’s what gets Zeke the internship, after his tardiness– waiting in the lobby, refusing to be moved, and his direct, unapologetic words to Mr. Gunns. It’s also what loses him the position, when he finds he can no longer stomach it. Finally and fully fed up, he tries believing in Shao’s reality instead for awhile– quitting the firm, leaving his aunt’s home. When Zeke believes something, however briefly, he goes all in. 

Amusingly, if Shao had gotten Zeke’s opportunity there– interning in Manhattan– and believed it was real, he could have done it. Zeke’s Gryffindor Secondary wouldn’t let him live the lie, or the game– look at his final speech to Mr. Gunns. But Shao would have done it, Hufflepuff Secondary grinding away, if someone had convinced him it was real and given him that chance. But that’s not the story Shao believes in– and no one was ever going to give Shao that type of chance. 

Shao believes in the music, the art, the word. The Get Down matters to him and when Zeke’s in his orbit he sees what Shao sees– the power of creation, emotion, and freedom at their fingertips. 

“When I get up on stage and say what I gotta say, I know who I am, and right now y’all are pushing me to be who you want me to be and nobody’s asking what I wanna be.” - Zeke

But in the finale, Zeke finally breaks from Shao’s reality as well. It’s not that he doubts Shao’s affection, loyalty, or talent– Zeke, upon Boo-boo’s arrest, finally and fully loses faith in Shao’s world and the “story” his friend tells. Despite his promises to Shao about family and brotherhood, Zeke can walk away from him with an angry set of his shoulders and his head held high. Shao is living in what Zeke sees as a damaging fantasy, and no loyalty or love will bind Zeke into going down with him. 

Zeke, who begins the story as a burned Gryffindor, unmoored, grows into a man who wants to hope. He is looking for a way out and up and he is offered two of them– the internship through Mylene’s uncle, and Shao’s Get Down. 

“See, downtown, at my internship, or at Yale, I’m the lucky orphan child whose fate depends on being one of the good negroes, and never losing my cool or saying what I actually think, or, God forbid, being me. On the mic, I’m the master of my destiny. And I love it.” - Zeke 

In the end, Zeke arguably choose a middling path: a top-tier college acceptance earned not through connections and handshakes, but through the strength and honesty of his essay about the Get Down, the streets, and Shao. Whatever else they have left between them, that is something Shao gave him– the certainty that the words matter– and something that Mylene gave him– forcing him to admit he wanted out.

-

Awkward, careful, and earnest, with a mind that goes a mile a minute, Ra-ra is a Gryffindor Primary who hasn’t, until the end of the series, found a path that yanks properly at his heartstrings. Meeting the Zulus was a transformative experience for him– finally finding someone else putting into words something that resonates with his emotional and generous moral instincts. He is delighted and immediately invested. Ra-ra doesn’t have Zeke’s “burned” quiet desperation, but he’s been unmoored and undirected and now he’s found something to believe in. 

His Ravenclaw secondary keeps him upright, making him the planner of the group, giving him a way to focus his frenetic energy, and leaving him freaked out by spontaneity. Ra-ra tries to communicate through concepts he already knows– like when he uses the Force to convince the Zulus to ally with them. In his hands, working with what he already knows is what works best. 

His secondary sets him apart from the reactive, spontaneous kids who make up the rest of the Get Down Brothers. He and Shao alone among them aren’t flexible Slytherin secondaries or formidable Gryffindor secondaries– it makes sense that they’re the ones who go to Annie’s with the plan, 

-

Boo-boo, in contrast, doesn’t mind making it up as he goes along. A very young Slytherin/Slytherin, he goes after what he wants and feels guiltless about what he might have to do to get there. 

The baby of the family and too comfortable to have seen many real consequences come his way, the first time anything really stops Boo-boo in his tracks is when Dizzee almost dies on stage. Boo-boo is briefly shocked right back into his priorities– his brother, not money or fame or pretty girls. He sits scribbling by Dizzee’s bedside until his big brother feels better enough to stand. 

I’m very curious who this kid would have grown up to be (Season 2 where are you). His priorities, when it really comes down to it, are himself and the people he loves– unlike Shao, our other Slytherin, and one with a lot less self-love, whose priorities are only the people he loves, not ever himself.

-

In turns terrified, furious, and numb, Shao is a Slytherin who’s spent his life abandoned, used, abused, and betrayed. It’s unsurprising and entirely sensible that he’d end up a “burned” Slytherin– a Slytherin primary who tries hard to love no one, fearing the kind of hurt that comes from caring and losing. In the empty, burned-out places his Slytherin’s loyalties should lie, Shao has built himself a Gryffindor model– it is this model that drives most of his actions, lighting the fire beneath his art– first his tagging, and then his DJing. These things matter because they matter, and Shao values a fearless, emotional, all-in investment to his dreams. 

Under the shout of Shao’s Gryffindor model and the aching murmur of his burned Slytherin, Shao’s Hufflepuff Secondary is what actually gets the work done. When he wants something or values something, he puts his nose to the grindstone and just does what needs to happen– whether surviving Annie’s industry, working his way up to earn Flash’s respect and mentorship, and learning the DJ trade. The kid doesn’t seem to sleep– and it’s one of the things that in parts baffles, delights, and enrages him about Zeke, who can create and inspire where Shao just grinds away until something beautiful happens. Zeke’s Gryffindor Secondary, charismatic, blunt, and arresting, seems like magic to Shao. 

Similarly, Shao’s Gryffindor primary model sees a kindred spirit in Zeke, whose Gryffindor Primary keeps flirting with the idea of not being burnt and maybe believing in things outside just the practical. Shao, who clings to the surety and fire of his model, can’t understand how Zeke can stand wavering and splitting his attention. For Shao, his Gryffindor model is a comfort and a guiding light. If music is the answer, then it’s the answer. But Zeke, who is at times alternately caught up in Shao’s world of art, music, and brotherhood or pulled toward the practicalities and worldly ambitions of Manhattan and Mylene’s dreams, doesn’t believe that the way Shao thinks he should. 

Complicating that is Shao’s slowly warming Slytherin– Zeke tells him they’re family and Shao starts to believe him, something that only makes Shao more confused about Zeke’s shifting priorities as the kid painstakingly makes up his heart and mind. On the surface, these two look similar– Gryffindors in love with the music– but when shit really hits the fan it’s not why either of them are here. 

Shao lives in his Gryffindor model so well he at time almost seems to really be one. The importance of the Get Down to him borders on religious, obsessive, and transcendent. It’s at the heart of his motivations for the majority of the plot, and is one of the main ways he bonds with burned Gryffindor Zeke. They love the music, they value the art, and it lights them both up in ways they’ve rarely experienced in their lives and that they treasure now. Even as his clenched-fist heart slowly unspools for Zeke and the brothers, most of the time Shao’s Gryffindor is still the loudest thing in the room. The music is so vital to who Shao is that it obfuscates his true sorting for much of the story. 

But when Annie came to threaten Shao in the finale, she didn’t use the music. She didn’t even threaten his life. She threatened his family and, even abandoned, even with Zeke’s angry words ringing in his ears, Shao caves in a heartbeat for the sake of his brothers. 

-

“If you’re an alien, you’ve got to be an alien.”

Dizzee shares Zeke’s primary, a burned Gryffindor, who holds himself back from being his whole and true self. Like Zeke, who has been repressing his ambitions in a hopeless world, Dizzee has been repressing a part of himself. As a Gryffindor who runs on his faith in himself and his instincts, feeling unwelcome and alien in his world hurts Dizzee just as the unfairnesses of Zeke’s childhood losses have hurt Zeke’s trust in the world and in himself. 

Dizzee’s avatar of Rumi highlights Dizzee’s feelings of exclusion and danger–he is the alien in a top hat, who is always dressed for an opera but knows they will never let him in the door, who knows they are afraid of him and will kill him for that fear. 

Both of their paths are one of turmoil, healing, and acceptance of themselves in worlds that have never made space for them. Zeke found himself pulled between Mylene and Shao’s worlds, looking for a place he could feel like he belonged. Eventually, Zeke forged a path that didn’t follow either of their dreams for him– his story is one of a Gryffindor learning once again to trust himself. Similarly, after his near death experience, Dizzee realizes it’s time to stop denying he’s an “alien” and sets out to live his life unfettered by all the things he thought he was supposed to pretend to be. He’s at his brightest in the painting scene with Thor– he is an alien! he’s ready for his first opera! 

While quiet for a “classic” Gryffindor secondary (Zeke, who can whip out a speech that stops the hearts of everyone who hears it, is a more classic example), Dizzee shares that secondary’s need to “live” their beliefs and their inspirational, sometimes-otherworldly shine. His “shouting” comes in the form of his tagging– as he says, Mayor Koch will know his name when the train goes by. 

-

A Ravenclaw Primary, Mylene asks her mother, her uncle, Jackie, her agent, etc, for advice and life lessons but only takes on the lessons that she weighs and agrees with. She’s certain, but she thinks, first, and she will follow her own decisions even when they disagree with what her heart wants most. Yolanda tells her it might be unkind to ask Zeke to wait for her, so she considers that notion, finds it valid, and brings it up to discuss to him. She takes carefully into account the opinions, facts, and beliefs of the people around her and applies them to her life as she finds right. Less instinctive than Gryffindor Zeke, once she’s devoted to a cause or a dream she is just as immovable. 

Mylene is at her best when she is doing something she loves. It is her rendition of her adored Misty Holloway’s number that first sets her on the road to greatness. A Hufflepuff secondary, her persistence, compassion, and loyal connections build her success throughout the series. She changes Jackie’s life during that first recording session, refusing to give up or back away, demanding his best with a delightfully Puff mix of patience, compassion, and stubbornness. 

Similarly, the culmination of her power in the story is the scene in the producer’s office where she threatens to walk away and forces him to cave. Not only has she finally come to terms with her value and her talent, but she also knows that if she walks so will all the people in the room who have come to believe in her– for her. Her power comes from her own work and dedication, but also from the respect she garners from those who cross her path. 

While Zeke is trying to come to terms with who he is and what he wants, Mylene is learning to trust her own value. A Ravenclaw who considers the facts in front of her carefully, her validation comes from outside– Jackie’s assessments, her successes, Zeke’s faith, writing “I am the One” with Jackie’s friends in the hotel room. However, once that value has been communicated to her– and once she’s been convinced– it is an unwavering truth for her. Whether performing after Misty’s impromtu show, in front of her father’s horrified face, or nearly walking out of the producer’s office, she comes to know her own worth and that certainty gives her world-changing power. 

-

Mylene’s uncle is a Slytherin Primary, like Shao, devoted to his family loved ones even when they can’t or don’t love him back– his brother, Mylene’s mother, and Mylene, who does not know he’s truly her father. He’s content, in his way, to serve, support, and adore them from the sidelines. His devotion is unwavering and he expects little from them in return. 

His Slytherin primary’s loyalties are widespread and deeply driven. Mylene and her family are closest to his heart, but he’s genuinely taken the whole of his part of the Bronx under his wing. Some of this comes from his enjoyment of power, authority, and respect, but his affection and loyalty to “his people” is strong and true.

While he’d love to see himself as a Hufflepuff secondary, working through respect, reputation, and connections, those attempts often fall through for him. What he is a clever and flexible opportunist– a Slytherin Secondary who’s happy to transform and step up to any situation in his path. He embodies the same house combo as Boo-boo, but is far older and more experienced, with far more selfless ambitions and wider, steadying responsibilities. 

-

tl;dr

Ezekiel “Books” Figuero - Burned Gryffindor Primary/Gryffindor Secondary“Dizzee” Kipling - Burned Gryffindor Primary/Gryffindor Secondary“Ra-ra” Kipling - Gryffindor Primary/Ravenclaw Secondary“Boo-boo” Kipling - Slytherin Primary/Slytherin SecondaryFrancisco Cruz - Slytherin Primary/Slytherin Secondary Mylene Cruz - Ravenclaw Primary/Hufflepuff SecondaryShaolin Fantastic - Burned Slytherin Primary/Hufflepuff Secondary

[ravenclawshavemorefun]

Monstre Aux Yeux Verts 《a miraculous ladybug fanfiction》 chapter 6 the final chapter

Thursday morning comes quickly. Adrian couldn't sleep the whole night, he just kept going over what he was going to say to Marinette and how he was going to say it. He imagined so many scenarios; ones where she confesses her everlasting love for him, ones where she ignores him or thinks he's playing a joke on him, and the more horrifying scenario where she tells him she fell in love with Luka and she never wants to see or hear from him again.

Adrian picks out his clothes and dresses himself with extra thought and care. Today was the day. He refuses to let his moment pass him by. "Now or never, Agrest." He mumbles to himself in the mirror.

"You can do it, Adrian." Plagg says looking at his reflection over his shoulder, "You're really making a bigger deal out of this than it is. See, girls are like a nice piece of camembert-"

"Let me stop you there, Plagg." Adrian says, "Marinette is nothing like a hunk of stinky cheese."

"Let me finish! Girls are like a nice piece of camembert; beautiful, enticing, and just waiting for the right person to come along and love them just the way they are. All you have to do is tell her how you feel and she'll know you are the one that will love her and treat her right. You are Adrian Agrest. Chat Noir. Master Fu chose you for a reason. Trust yourself. Everything will turn out just the way it's supposed to."

Adrian is stunned by Plagg's moving speach, "thanks, Plagg."

"That's enough with the mushy stuff." Plagg says with disgust, "I think your lovey dovey personality is rubbing off on me."

Adrian walks downstairs with a new confidence. "Everything will turn out just the way it's supposed to." He repeats in his head like a mantra. He convinces his bodyguard to take him to school early and he sits on the school steps waiting for his moment.

It never came.

"Hey, Adrian, you look nice today." Alya says joining him on the steps. "What's up?"

"Oh, uh... nothing... where's Nino and M-Marinette?" He stutters.

"Nino's on his way, but didn't your dad tell you? Marinette starts her internship today. Your dad has her doing some fashion business stuff in London today. She was so excited about it but couldn't really go into detail because she had to leave early this morning. She gets to skip out on two days of school, that lucky brat! She won't be back until friday afternoon." Adrian's heart sinks and Alya notices something is wrong, "what's the matter?"

"Oh, it's nothing, Alya." He says halfheartedly.

Alya opens her mouth to argue but Nino shows up just in time. "Hey, guys, what's up?"

"I think I'm just going to head into class and do some extra studying." Adrian says completely bummed and walks through the school doors before either of them could convince him to stay.

How is he going to talk to her before her date with Luka Friday? This is definitely something he needs to say in person. He hopes with all his might that he'll be able to catch her before Luka does.

The one day Adrian doesn't feel like talking to anyone, everyone seems to want his attention. He is annoyed Chloe clings to his arm no matter how many times he gently removes himself from her clutches, Lyla refuses to stop talking his ear off about how all her plans over the weekend were canceled and she would be "completely bored and lonely", and even Kagami seems to not understand personal space through out the day. Adrian can't wait for the school day to be over so he can finally be alone to think things over. He finds his temper getting shorter as the day gets longer. When Nino asks him "what's wrong?" before lunch in an empty classroom he can no longer hold it in. "Am i not allowed to have a moment to myself?!" He shouts.

"I've noticed the girls won't give you a moment to breath." Nino says calmly. "You know they're all trying to get you to ask them out this weekend, right?"

The thought never occurred to him which only fueled his anger, "WHAT?! Ugh! Can't they take a hint that I'm not interested?!"

Nino seems completely unfazed that Adrian is directing his anger on him, "what's up, bro? You seem a little upset today."

He takes a deep breath. "I had a plan. I was going to tell her how i felt today but she's in freaking London and she won't be back until Friday afternoon! I had a plan!" He shouts frustrated.

"Okay, calm down, we can figure this out. I'll get all the deets from Alya about when she's coming home and everything and we'll get to her before Luka does." Nino says calmly.

Adrian calms down a little, "do you think it's possible? Do you think she'll agree to go out with me instead of Luka?"

Nino grimaces, "honestly, knowing Marinette, she'll go on this date with Luka because she already agreed to. All you can do is tell her how you feel and let her make her own decision." Nino says wisely.

"But what if she doesn't choose me?" Adrian asks, heart breaking over just the thought of it.

"You have to decide if you love her enough to be just her friend and let her be happy with someone else."

Adrian falls silent. His initial reaction was to say he always wants her in his life but the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes just how hard it would be to be just friends with both of them knowing about his love for her. He suddenly gets cold feet. On one hand, he could tell her and she could fall in love with him or she could say she never wants to see him again. On the other he could just keep his feelings to himself and she would stay his friend. Was the possibility of loosing her friendship worth the slight chance of her falling in love with him? "Wait!" Adrian shouts to stop Nino from leaving the room to talk to Alya, "maybe it's not worth it." Adrian slumps into a chair, defeated.

"What do you mean?" Nino asks confused, "you were so sure just a few minutes ago."

"Maybe it's not worth losing her friendship. I don't want to lose her completely." Adrian decides, "I'm not going to tell her."

Nino pats his friend's shoulder with sympathy, "it's your decision."

The rest of the day dragged on and the evening was just as long. Adrian refuses supper and sleeps instead. Morning came too soon and he wishes it was already tomorrow. He hopes he won't spend the whole day dreading what the evening would bring, but unfortunately that's exactly what he spends the day doing. The day seems like weeks but he reminds himself that this is how everyday would feel without Marinette and convinces himself that he's making the right decision.

After fencing practice he convinces his bodyguard to let him take a walk to clear his head. He walks without noticing where he was going and finds himself on Marinette's street. He sees Alya walking out of Marinette's door just in time to hide. He waits a while to make sure she won't see him but he waits too long.

Luka stops by a bed of flowers and picks one before walking up to knock at Marinette's door. Adrian knows he should leave but he can't get himself to turn around. Marinette answers the door and steps out to meet Luka. Adrian's breath catches seeing her looking so beautiful in a simple blue sundress, the piercing sapphire color of her eyes, her blue-black hair loose and wavy brushing her shoulders. It was like seeing her for the first time.

"You look beautiful... as always." He hears Luka say and it shocks him out of his trance.

"Th-thanks!" Marinette says shyly.

They begin their walk to the theater and before Adrian realizes what he was doing he finds himself sitting 2 rows behind them.

Adrian, frustrated with how stupid he was acting, is about to stand to leave when he sees Luka sneak his arm around Marinette's shoulders and pull her closer to him. He clenches his fists and barely holds himself back from leaping over the seats to throttle Luka. Minutes pass but they could have been hours, Adrian was unable to make a coherent thought as if his brain ceased functioning. All he could focus on was the red-hot fury he felt, as if his very soul was a burning flame.

Then, in slow motion, Adrian watches Luka lean in to Marinette and she lean towards him, their lips touch gently. Adrian feels like his heart is being ripped out of his chest and doesn't notice the akuma land on the movie ticket clutched in his fist.

Marinette feels Luka pull her closer to him and she looks into his eyes. She feels their lips grow closer as if by magnetic pull. Their lips touch gently and briefly. Too briefly, the theater erupts into screams and panic. A giant green hand wraps around Marinette's waist and pulls her away from Luka. Luka shouts her name and Marinette shouts his, but the giant green monster crashes through the brick wall and out of the theater.

Marinette struggles to get out of the monster's grip but is unable to move a muscle. "Tikki!" She whispers, "where are you?!"

"I'm here, Marinette!" Tikki whispers hiding behind her ear.

"Hurry! Go to Master Fu! Tell him what's happened, Chat Noir will need help with this one until i can escape."

Marinette feels like she's been dragged through the city for hours until they're finally cornered by a group of superheroes.

The three heros run into eachother a block from the Eiffel tower where the monster was spewing a green tar-like substance from it's mouth creating walls around the tower, Marinette clutched tightly in it's fist.

"Oh my gosh, it's got Marinette!" Rena Rouge gasped. Carapace puts a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"Yeah, so are we going to save her or stand around talking about it?!" Viperion shouts and takes off.

Marinette is surprised to not see Chat Noir amongst her rescuers but throws herself into the act of a terrified victim until Viperion manages to release her. He swings away with her in his arms.

"Hurry home where you'll be safe!" Viperion kisses her hand and takes off.

Marinette finds a quiet alley and transforms.

The battle with the giant green monster turns out to be a difficult one. After a long battle and a lot of teamwork, ladybug was startled to find out it was Adrian that had been akumatized.

"What happened?" Adrian asks rubbing the back of his head gingerly.

"You were Akumatized." Viperion says cooly, "do you remember anything?"

Adrian shook his head slowly. "Nothing." He says quietly.

Viperion made a low noise in the back of his throat like he didn't believe a word he was saying.

Ladybug shot him a disapproving look and offered Adrian a hand up. "Are you alright?"

Adrian stands on his own, "yeah. I'm... so sorry." He says looking down at his feet.

"You should be." Viperion says coldly.

"Woah! Dude!" Carapace put a hand on Adrian's shoulder.

"Viperion, what is your problem?! He is a victim of Hawkmoth!" Ladybug huffs hands on her hips.

"No, Marinette was the victim! I don't know if you noticed since you took your sweet time getting here, but he put Marinette in extreme danger!"

"Marinette?!" Adrian gasped, "is she alright?"

"She is now!" Viperion says hotly.

Ladybug opens her mouth to lecture him but Adrian places his hand on her arm. "He's right." Adrian says quietly, "he's not telling me anything i haven't been telling myself." He turns and walks away.

"You have a lot to learn about how we treat victims." Rena says calmly, "all of them."

Later that night, Adrian transforms. Filled with guilt and remorse he lands softly on Marinette's rooftop patio. The night was quiet. He was about to knock when the door pops open unexpectedly and hits him in the face... again.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, Chat! Are you okay?!"

Chat Noir holds his nose gingerly with his eyes streaming. "We've got to stop meeting like this."

Marinette chuckles pulling him up. She guides him to the stairs and leads him down the steps to her bedroom. "Here." She hands him an ice pack for his nose.

He puts it to his nose and closes his eyes to readies himself to say what he needs to say. "I'm sorry i wasn't there for you today."

"It's alright, you were probably busy and I'm alright."

"No, i have to tell you why." Chat Noir put his hand on hers. "I was akumatized today."

"Two akumatized victims in one day? Hawkmoth must be up to something big." Marinette mumbles gravely.

Chat smiles at how adorable she is but sobers quickly, "no, there weren't 2 attacks today." Marinette looks at him, clearly confused. "Plagg claws in." Adrian detransforms right in front of her before Marinette has the chance to cover her eyes.

"Marinette, i love you, as Chat Noir and Adrian Agrest... please say something." Adrian whispers.

[studioforonda]

Fun & Awkward with Natalie Leroux

Designer & Illustrator

www.studioeightyseven.com

Natalie Leroux is the creative behind Studio Eighty Seven, a design studio located in Grafton, MA helping small businesses and entrepreneurs develop their brand and marketing.

Recently, we got a chance to interview Natalie about her work and her line of greeting cards aptly named “Fun & Awkward”.

Where were you brought up? 

I was born in Massachusetts but moved to upstate New York when I was young.

Where did you get your formal art education and what was the most influential thing about it?

When I graduated from High School I wasn’t ready to give up athletics and go to art school. Instead, I went to the University of Rochester where I played field hockey for a year, and studied studio art and art history. During my Sophomore year at the University of Rochester, I entered a program called  Art NY - which was like a study abroad program in NYC. Myself, and a small group of UR students had internships, and took two classes with a UR professor.   After interviewing with small marketing firms and big publishing houses, I accepted a position with a commercial photographer. The experience at the internship, and the advice and friendship from the studio manager, a graduate of Rochester Institute of Technology, I realized I was not getting the type of technical training at  the University of Rochester that I was looking for. As luck would have it, one of the best graphic design schools in the country, RIT,  was right down the road from the  University of Rochester, making for an easy transition. . Looking at the descriptions for graphic design courses and typography at RIT convinced me to focus on graphic design. RIT was an amazing school. They really prepared me and other graduates for the real world in art and design.

How did you break into designing in Boston?

With extended family and friends in Massachusetts, moving  to Boston  after graduation  was easy. It took awhile for me to land  a job in Boston. But I got involved with the local AIGA chapter, and volunteered for events. I also got involved with Design Museum Boston. Overall, the  the design community in Boston was welcoming.

I eventually landed a job as an entry level designer at a small, niche advertising agency. The hours were long, but I was eager to prove myself. I stayed with the agency for 6 years, and by the time I left I was the Creative Director managing some of Boston’s best young designers.  My personality is one of a leader, and being a young impressionable manager I found it more challenging than I expected to balance the needs of the individual talent on the team, and the business demands of a growing agency. I left the agency in October of 2016 to pursue my own creative and business endeavors.

What are your artistic influences?

In the past I would say I was heavily influenced by Pop Art. I had a 8’ x 10’ poste rof a Roy Lichtenstein piece on my wall in college. I was really drawn to the contextual history during that time, and the combination of  type and image interested me. Now, I find myself inspired by ephemera. Since I was young I spent a lot of time in antique stores and was always drawn to the  boxes of old ticket stubs, postcards, and play bills.

Recently, I was working on a wedding invitation suite, and was checking out vintage baseball cards and ticket stubs for inspiration.I love the 1960′s self published zines, and am drawn to  1970′s design, typography, and illustration.

Recently, I am finding inspiring artists and designers from Australia and New Zealand on Instagram.

What are your thoughts on DESIGN?

I find that a lot of small business owners have a vague understanding what branding is, and why it’s important, but have a hard time coming to terms with the value of a professional. It can be frustrating trying to compete with internet sites that offer cheap alternatives to thoughtful, conceptual design solutions. I spend a lot of  time educating clients and communicating the value of what I, and other professionals, have to offer.

Unlike household brands, small businesses have flexibility to shake up their brands visually. With a lot of small businesses living solely online, it’s easier to erase what is there and start over. The screen can be ephemeral. 

What are your thoughts about Illustration?

I didn’t consider myself an illustrator  for a long time because I thought I wasn’t trained, or didn’t seem “good enough”. . Once I got out of my own head a bit, I got less precious about my illustrations.  Most of my illustration work is created for the Fun & Awkward greeting card line. The style fits this brand. I am being myself. The illustrations and greeting cards fit the vision I want, and I’m trying to make them cohesive for  wholesale opportunities.

When did you start your company?

November of 2016.

How did you get involved with Greeting Card Design?

I started in 2010. I was single and unemployed in Boston. It was an outlet for all the awkwardness of that time. I started putting them on Etsy. Just a handful of cards, about five of them.  When I started Studio Eighty Seven, it provided an opportunity to expand. . Someday soon I hope to have them in more retail shops around New England.  

What are your hobbies and interests?

I am an active person. I ran a couple of half marathons. I practice yoga. I like to spend time outside no matter the season. My backyard has become my favorite gym - spreading mulch and ripping out weeds and other unwanted plants is a great workout. . As a family, we love to explore New England. It’s not unusual for us to wake up on a Saturday morning and decide to take a 2 hour drive somewhere. 

What are your future goals?

Short Term, I’d love to get son in daycare one more day a week :) I’m pretty much there! There is a shop in Portsmouth that does wedding invitations and retail. Long term, I would love to have retail shop, and continue to do branding and marketing in the back for small businesses. My husband and I have also talked at length at owning and managing a wedding venue.

Who are your biggest fans?

My Mom, of course!  There are also a handful of local women who have been really supportive of me and my card line.  The local owner of a dog barkery and boutique, Quite Fetching, has been wonderful to me. We collaborate on card concepts, and they are sold at her shop.  I am also fortunate to call all my clients, past and present, fans of my work and business.

My Husband has said about me, “I want to hitch that wagon to her star!”

[obsessively-obsessed-fangirl]

Even though it has been days since I have finished the beauty that is Veronica Mars, I’m still left with this need to talk about the show on a semi-critical level. So, I’m sorry that this has to happen, but just bare with me as I delve into a tangent about Veronica Mars. (spoilers DUH)

First, lets start with the premise of the show. Veronica is a 15-16 year old girl who becomes a social pariah after her best friend, Lilly Kane, is found dead. Veronica’s father, Keith Mars (the town sheriff) accuses her best friend’s father of being involved in her death, as there are a lot of facts that don’t seem to add up. Keth is removed from office and establishes his own P.I. business, with Veronica helping out part time. Veronica is not satisfied with how Lilly’s case was handled and vows to find out the truth. 

Now that we know what the show is about, lets get into who the primary characters are. 

First, we have this lovely lady, known as Veronica Mars. She used to be a popular, pink princess who ran Neptune high with her best friend Lilly. She seemed to have everything a popular girl could want...until her boyfriend Duncan Kane (the brother of Lilly) dumped her, thus spiraling her life out of control. Once her friend dies, she has to make a choice....her popularity or her father. She chooses her father and the school shuns her. She attends a party during this time, where she is drugged and raped. Once she wakes up, she has no recollection of who raped her, but she uses this as motivation to close herself off. She is no longer a pretty princess. Instead, she’s a powerful warrior, taking names and kicking ass. She continues to practice her newfound philosophy for the next year, until a new kid in her class is taped to a flag pole and she helps him. Thus, a beautiful new friendship seeps through her cold heart.

Next on our important characters is Wallace Fennel. This is the boy who was duck taped to the flag pole. After Veronica helps him, she begrudgingly accepts him as her new sidekick. He sees the marshmellow she truly is on the inside and their friendship blossoms into one of best friendship, which lasts throughout the series and movie. (sorry there really isn’t a whole lot to him)

Next, let’s talk about good ol’ Duncan Kane. I hate him. He is Lilly’s brother and the one who found her dead. After he finds her, he blacks out and his parents think that he is the one who murdered Lilly. He has a mental thing about him, where he goes into a rage and blacks out...so yeah. He breaks up with Veronica before the series because he found out that his dad had an affair with Veronica’s mom...and they could be possibly related...gross. So he ends things, but is still super into her, and eventually has sex with her (while still thinking they are related) and then when he does find out they aren’t, he kinda stalks her and they date again. Alas, their love will never succeed because HE GOT A GIRL PREGNANT IN SEASON 2, and she gets into a bus crash and EVENTUALLY DIES (convenient). He runs away to Australia with their baby after finding out that her parents are super terrible and abusive. Thus ends his and V’s relationship. (awwww yisssss)

Notice, how for this next person I actually included a picture...(because he is oh so pretty). This glorious bastard is Logan Echolls. He starts off in the series as a douche canoe. He was Lilly’s boyfriend and blames Veronica for her murder because V told Lilly that he caught Logan kissing a girl at a party (and they break up). He spends the year before the show and the first few episodes torturing Veronica and being a damn ass. This all changes when we find out the truth about Logan. His movie star father physically abuses him, his mother ignores the it, and his sister doesn’t believe him. After the world finds out that his father is also a serial cheater, his mother jumps off a bridge. Not believing his mom to have done this, Logan enlists Veronica to help him find her. They unfortunately don’t find her and Logan, now realizing the truth, breaks down in V’s arms.  This is a turning point for him, because he stops being awful and actually begins to make things right with V. He comes to her rescue when she needs him from this point forward, and they eventually begin an epic love story, spanning years and continents.

There are many, many more characters I could talk about including Keith Mars, Mac, Weevil, and dumbass Piz, but for sake of the post, I’ll continue on to the good stuff. THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN VERONICA AND LOGAN + Co.

Like I said earlier, the show begins with Veronica being in love with Duncan. This is just plain gross because Duncan doesn’t allow V to grow as a person. He’s so happy with the idea of the pretty, normal girl that he doesn’t see her potential. This leads her to almost always hide her badass skills, snark, and overall self. When they are together, you can almost see her fall back into who she was before Lilly died. (THANK GOD HE LEFT)

Next, let’s talk about her other serious (ish) relationship with Piz. As you have probably noticed, I didn’t go into his backstory too much, because he literally has none. He joined the show during their final season, and all we know about him is that he likes music, Veronica, and is a discount Zac Effron. He is a “nice” that pretty much holds Veronica on a pedestol. He gets upset with her when she decided to do an internship away from Neptune, and when they eventually date again (in the 2014 movie) he pretty much wants her to be a normal girl. Like he doesn’t really want to see her for who she is. He pretty much likes the idea of V, but not the real V.

Finally, we get to her relationship with Logan. I don’t condone much of his bad actions during the early seasons, but with the help and support from Veronica, he changes a lot. He stands by her no matter what the cost is, and is so emotionally honest with her during every little thing, that we never have to question how he feels about her. It’s honestly amazing to see the psychotic jackass turn into such a supportive and good hearted person by the end of the series. Unfortunatly, their relationship is almost always in some form of turmoil. Since their beginning, the obvious love they have for each other is apparent, but is also leads them to act with passion, and not always with their heads. Veronica begins to descend into much of who she was in the beginning. She can’t let herself be happy with him, and begins to close herself up once again. They end the show with them apart, but with a single glance that leads one to hope of their reconciliation. 

Luckily enough, when the 2014 movie came out, fans rejoiced because Veronica and Logan seemed to finally get some variation of happiness. She ran away from Neptune because of her reckless behavior, but one call from Logan brings her back. The second she saw him again, it was like she finally truly came home. He turned into the good man she always believed he was, and in turn, she finally grows away from her self destructive past self and trusts herself to love him. 

I don’t know, this post really didn’t have a point other than to talk about the random thought going through my head, as I try to convince myself everything will be okay when the show (EVENTUALLY/HOPEFULLY returns on Hulu). Like, Logan and Veronica bonded early though their shared pain, humor, and passion, so it would be a complete shame if they weren’t allowed the happy ending they so rightfully deserve.

[hkvoyage]

Fic: Butterfly Wings - Chapter 40

Story summary A fashion blog started at University launched Blaine Anderson’s fortune and fame. As Vogue’s new editor-in-chief, he is struggling to find an original angle for an upcoming issue. Kurt Hummel has recently arrived in New York City after finishing high school, and is having no luck building a musical theater career, so he decides to explore another passion of his: fashion. He applies for an internship at Vogue, and Isabelle sees in him the perfect fresh face to liven up the magazine, and convinces him to try out as a model. Kurt meets Blaine, and in spite of their 10-year age difference, sparks fly. Can they overcome misunderstandings and sabotage to find their happily-ever-after? Klaine model AU. Rating for this chapter: Mature (overall story is mature) Word count for this chapter: 4,946 Can also be read on A03 / FF Masterpost is here. The fantastic story artwork produced by Cassie at @cc-graphics  can be here.   Thank you to the amazing @lilyvandersteen for the beta work and support. ***** “The success of Yoga does not lie in the ability to perform postures but in how it positively changes the way we live our life and our relationships.”  - T.K.V. Desikachar August Blaine enters the penthouse early in the morning and sets down his carry-on suitcase. It was a hectic three-day trip, but it was so totally worth it. Kurt has been really busy with his summer courses, spending every free moment at the FIT jewelry workshop. Instead of sitting home and feeling sorry for himself, Blaine had decided to fly to LA while Kurt finished the final coursework. “Is that you, Blaine?” he hears Kurt calling out. Soon he has an armful of Kurt, who wraps his legs around Blaine’s waist. “Good morning, my love. God, I missed you so much,” Blaine murmurs, kissing Kurt and holding onto him tightly. If this is the welcome home he gets, then Blaine thinks he might have to take a few more short trips away.

“I’m so happy you’re home. I missed you too. Let’s have breakfast and you can tell me all about your trip.” Within minutes, Amy has the table laden with blueberry pancakes, bacon, fresh fruit salad, freshly pressed orange juice, and a pot of coffee. “All my favorite foods! You spoil me, Amy,” Blaine declares, starving after the red-eye flight he has taken. “Kurt isn’t the only one who misses you when you’re away, Mr. A. Unless you need anything else, I’m off to the Greenmarket over in Brooklyn. I hear this season’s Georgia peaches are in. I won’t be back until 1 p.m.” When Amy has left the penthouse, Kurt bursts out into laughter. “What’s so funny?” Blaine asks. “The Greenmarket isn’t open today, and I spotted a boxful of peaches in the laundry area last night. Amy is making herself scarce to give us some alone time. Now, tell me all about the trip.” “Sam and Mercedes are doing fine, although they haven’t had much sleep since the baby was born. I insisted on doing all the middle-of-the-night feeds. Monica is so gorgeous and sweet that I almost packed her into my suitcase to bring her home with me. I swear she smiled at me, but Mercedes insisted that it’s too early for that.” Blaine hands over his tablet so that Kurt can see the hundreds of photos taken over the three-day trip. Most of them show Blaine positively glowing with a baby in his arms. “Did you finish your end-of-term projects?” “I handed them in yesterday afternoon. I’m rather proud of the jewelry designs.” “You’ll have to show me later, maybe after 1 p.m.? I can think of a few other ways to spend the next four hours before Amy returns,” Blaine whispers hotly into Kurt’s ear. ***** Blaine enters Le Bernardin, and the maitre d' whisks him off to a table in the center of the restaurant, where Sebastian is waiting for him. “Sebastian, good to see you. I can’t believe you managed to book a table here at such short notice.” “You’re not the only one who has connections. When I told them that my guest would be Blaine Anderson, they practically wetted themselves thinking of the publicity that the restaurant would get with us dining together.” “I guess that explains the high-profile table,” Blaine chuckles. They select their seafood courses from the prix-fixe menu, and two glasses of Krug champagne that Sebastian had ordered earlier are poured. “I’m surprised that Tickle-Me-Doughface let you join me for lunch,” Sebastian smirks. “Do not call Kurt that,” Blaine growls. “If you’re just going to throw insults at us, I’m leaving.” “Okay, simmer down. I didn’t think that would hit a nerve.” “Well, it did. Treat my boyfriend with respect. So why did you invite me to lunch, Sebastian?” “I read the interview that was in Vogue’s June issue. Frankly, what you said about us surprised me.” “I thought it would. You see, Sebastian, in a weird way, I think you bring out the best in me at work. I know how smart you are, I know how you operate and I try to keep up. It focuses me to make Vogue the top-selling magazine.” “It’s working. Elle’s circulation numbers are down since Kurt left. Maybe if I pretend to be your friend, you’ll take the eye off the ball,” Sebastian snorts. “I’m tired of playing games with you, Sebastian. I don’t think there are any winners in the end – just other people like Chandler and Kurt that get hurt by our tactics. Let’s call a truce.” “I can’t promise that, Blaine. After all, my number one goal is to have Elle on top. What I can promise you, though, is that I’ll make it less personal. Believe it or not, Blaine, I admire you as well.” The first course of raw oysters is served, and they eat and chat about the Monarch Foundation. “I really appreciate your generous donation, Sebastian. We’re using the money to buy a property in Defiance, Ohio.” Sebastian laughs. “I love that my money will be used for a Monarch House in a town called Defiance. It pretty much sums me up, particularly when I was a teenager.” “I can’t imagine what you got up to in Paris, before attending Dalton,” Blaine remarks cautiously, not sure where this conversation is heading. “Oh, it started way earlier than that, Blainey. The summer before starting high school, my father got me a job at the State Attorney’s mailroom. There was a really hot college intern who started hitting on me, and we messed around. One lunchtime, the state attorney general himself caught us in the mailroom - I was fucking the intern’s brains out. Later, the intern claimed I was raping him and he wasn’t gay.” “You were the one underage, not him. What he did… It’s called statutory rape!” Blaine exclaims. “I wasn’t in the position to argue finer legal points with the state attorney general, was I? The way he and my father saw it, I was the aggressor, because I was topping. To make matters worse, I hadn’t come out to anyone! The state attorney general conveniently found a one-year position in Paris for my father at the Bureau du Procureur. The next week, we were on the plane.” “That sounds awful. I can’t imagine going through that at fourteen years old.” “My parents said I was a disgrace to the Smythe name and enrolled me in a French boarding school. I decided right then that I couldn’t ever depend on anyone but myself. At school, the French boys were attracted to the new American boy, and I fucked them all – it made me feel powerful. Once the gossip calmed down, we returned to Ohio, and I was enrolled at Dalton.” “Wow. I didn’t know, Sebastian.” “I think it would really have helped if there had been a place like the Monarch House I could go to that summer when I worked in the mailroom. I think I would have come out to my family before the scandal happened, and I would have known what to expect when it came to sex.” The main course of Dover sole is presented, and the conversation turns light and breezy, remembering Warbler antics and updating each other with news in their lives. When they’ve finished their meal and walk out of the restaurant, there are dozens of paparazzi taking photos of them. Sebastian and Blaine smile for the cameras and joke about their friendly rivalry. When Sebastian goes to shake Blaine’s hand, Blaine pulls him in for a one-armed hug, and the paps go wild, because it’s the exact same pose as the photo taken during their Dalton years that was featured in Vogue. Once Blaine sets off in a separate direction from Sebastian and turns the corner, he whips out his phone and sends Kurt a text. Lunch with Seb went great. Paps swamped us at the end. We posed for pictures. Blaine certainly doesn’t want Kurt to misinterpret the photos that are probably already on Twitter. Blaine realizes how far they have come in such a short time when he reads Kurt’s reply. Yeah, I’ve seen them. You are so much hotter than Seb ;). Fans think Klaine rules over Seblaine. I do too! K xx. Weeks ago, the paparazzi discovered that Kurt was his boyfriend, when he left Blaine’s apartment building one early morning to go to class. Initially, there was a media frenzy, and Blaine had insisted that Bentley drive Kurt to and from FIT. Once the media realized that he and Kurt did everyday things – and didn’t have public sex in nightclubs - they soon got bored of following them and turned their attention to an actor who insisted he was straight, but acted like a tart at gay clubs. Blaine checks his watch, and it’s 2:30 p.m. There’s nothing pressing at work, so he decides to go home and start the weekend early. Kurt is spending the day browsing the vintage jewelry and antique shops in the Village to get inspiration for future designs. When Blaine enters the penthouse, he immediately goes into the kitchen to let Amy know that he’s home. He can’t find her, but notices her laptop open on the kitchen counter. Amy uses it to find new recipes on the Internet. Blaine walks over to the computer to see what’s on the menu for tonight. However, Blaine notices that instead of a recipe, a Word document is open. Kevin licks his lips when he sees Brian’s hands and feet tied to the bed, spread out for before him. Brian is in for a very long night, and if he’s lucky, Kevin will let him cum. Kevin pulls out the large chest from the closet and slowly opens it. He can sense that Brian is watching every move that he makes. Kevin bends over, making sure to show off his ass, and takes out a blindfold, gag, and leather restraints. It’s going to be a long night of pleasure and pain. Brian whimpers when he sees… Blaine doesn’t recall an e-mail notification that KrianFeels has updated the Breakout fic, and then it dawns on him. “Blaine! I wasn’t expecting you home so early. Is everything all right?” Amy asks as she walks into the kitchen. “You’re KrianFeels!” Amy blushes profusely and grabs the laptop to snap it shut. “All this time, you knew that Sam and I read KrianFeels’ stories. And it was you! How did you even…?” Amy sighs. “I guess I should start at the beginning. When you and Sam started reading Breakout fics, I went on the Internet to check them out for myself. I thought they were pretty lame – way too romantic and fluffy for my liking. Then I created a username and went on to Tumblr and discovered the kink meme board - that was a real eye opener. I decided I could do a much better job of it, so I started writing fic. You and Sam loved the stories so much that I kept on writing.” “How do you even know about these things? You’re not even gay!” “Hey, you don’t need to be a murderer to be a mystery writer. I research on the Internet, chat online with Tumblr friends, and I read stuff. I might be middle-aged, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a creative and active imagination.” “This is a whole different side to you that I didn’t know existed,” Blaine laughs, shaking his head. “Don’t tell Sam, Mr. A.! Let me have my fun. He’s my number one reviewer and I love reading his reactions. I try to fill every prompt that he gives me.” “Oh. My. God. You’re JiffyFeels too!” “The one and only. Now if you excuse me, I need to go into the other room and die of embarrassment.” “Don’t do that, Amy. Actually, I think it’s pretty hilarious. Sam and I have always assumed that KrianFeels was a gay man. It’s not going to affect anything between us. I promise I won’t mention it to Sam. Take the afternoon off and go finish that chapter.” Amy gathers her things and waits in the private lobby for the elevator. Blaine pokes his head out the main door and says, “Amy, one more thing. For god’s sake, let Brian cum. He’s been waiting for weeks.” Blaine goes to the piano and starts his warm-up exercises, chuckling at the image of Amy hunched over her computer at night writing gay smut for his and Sam’s enjoyment. A little tune comes into his head, and soon Blaine is working on the chorus.

Well surprise, surprise, surprise Yeah surprise, surprise, surprise Well surprise, surprise, come on open your eyes And let your love shine down Blaine stops when he realizes that he’s started to compose a new song. Yesterday’s meeting at SONY records with Marley Rose and Connor was a real eye opener. When the SONY executives realized that Blaine composed the music for Marley Rose’s ‘All or Nothing’, they offered him a recording contract on the spot. Connor had predicted this, and so Blaine was prepared. 

Blaine informed the SONY executives that he didn’t want a solo career as a musician. He was more interested in songwriting and eventually producing for other artists. He agreed to work with Marley Rose on her solo album, providing songs and back-up vocals where needed. However, no-one was to know that this was Blaine’s work - he would use a pseudonym. In addition, SONY would need to donate 1% of the sale proceeds to the Monarch Foundation. The SONY executives reluctantly agreed to Blaine’s terms. While they wanted Blaine to front his own songs, they quickly realized that Blaine would not compromise on the matter. Blaine wonders how he’ll find the time to work on new songs, join Marley Rose in the recording studio, run Vogue, and spend time with Kurt. He decides to put this dilemma on the backburner until he and Kurt have their holiday together soon. 

***** 

After messing around on the piano, Blaine takes a long hot shower and then lies down on the bed to cool off before getting dressed. His body’s feeling loose and relaxed, and he lets his fingers brush down his chest. The latest installment of Amy’s has him wondering what he and Kurt might put in a toy chest. There’s so many possibilities, so many combinations, so many ways they can make each other feel good. Blaine picks up his phone and sends Kurt a text. Came home early. I gave Amy the rest of the day off. I’m lonely, so hurry back ;) – B xx Blaine thinks of Kurt’s body – the taut muscles of his chest, the biceps, the endless legs, the wide expanse of creamy soft skin. Blaine hugs Kurt’s pillow to breathe in the scent. Blaine imagines how Kurt’s cock feels and tastes in his mouth. God, if Kurt doesn’t get home soon he’s going to explode. Blaine eagerly grabs his phone when he hears a new notification ping. On my way home, lover boy. I’ll see you in 15 min. K xxx Blaine is horny and wants sex as soon as Kurt walks into the penthouse. But pouncing on his boyfriend and fucking him against the wall probably isn’t a smooth move, so Blaine comes up with another idea. ***** When Kurt enters the penthouse, Blaine’s yoga playlist fills the penthouse with music. Instead of wearing his usual yoga gear, Blaine has opted for the tightest fitting pair of lycra shorts that he owns, and no shirt. Blaine is sitting in the cross-legged ‘lotus’ position, with hands in front of his body as if he’s praying. “Namaste,” Blaine says calmly. Blaine allows his body to flow into the ‘seated twist’ pose, making sure that Kurt gets a little glimpse of his right ass cheek. He then glides down on the mat in time with the music. Blaine places his hands by his side, then presses his feet into the mat and lifts his hips high in the air to do the ‘bridge’ pose. Blaine hears a gasp from the other side of the room, which encourages him to continue. Blaine gracefully rolls to his stomach and places his hands a few inches in front of his shoulders. With one quick move, he jacks his ass up into the ‘downward dog’ pose. Blaine is physically prepared for Kurt to ravish him, and disappointment sinks in when he hears Kurt sit down on the couch, which is in the opposite direction of his ass. Still, he has one more trick up his sleeve. Blaine drops from the pose, curls his body into a ball and turns 180 degrees so that his face is in the opposite direction of Kurt. He slowly rises to his feet and stretches his arms above his head. He spreads his legs three feet apart, lowers his upper body, and clasps his ankle into the ‘standing straddle forward bend’ pose. Blaine can hear Kurt’s heavy panting for a minute, but there’s still no action. Blaine carefully moves his right hand and brings out the condom and packet of lube that he placed under the yoga mat earlier, making it even more obvious what he wants. “God Blaine, you really want me so badly. Take off your shorts and get back in that position,” Kurt says in a low authoritative voice. Kurt’s command goes straight to Blaine’s cock, which is leaking with precum. Usually, Kurt is so quiet during sex – breathy sighs and muted grunts – but this Kurt turns him on. Blaine peels off the lycra shorts, taking his own sweet time to slowly reveal his ass. He tosses the shorts aside and gets back in his previous position, taking deep breaths to ready himself for Kurt’s fingers. He can hear Kurt take off his shirt, undo his belt, and unzip the fly of his trousers. Just when the suspense is killing him, he feels soft lips kiss on his ass instead of the fingers he expected. Holy shit! Blaine’s arms tremble as Kurt gives him kitten licks around his puckered hole, squeezing his ass roughly. The combination of the rough and the smooth sensations is turning Blaine on, and he lets out a groan. “Oh my god… That feels fantastic… Kurt… Don’t stop… ghh…” Kurt flattens his tongue and takes a long swipe from his hole down to his balls. Kurt takes one in his mouth and slowly sucks, while his finger is circling Blaine’s hole. “Fucking hell… I need something inside me… More!” Blaine cries out. Kurt rolls his tongue and thrusts it as deep as it will go inside him. Every nerve in Blaine’s body is on edge. When Kurt slips a finger inside next to his tongue, Blaine whimpers at the feeling. Soon Kurt has three fingers inside, twisting and rubbing his prostrate. Blaine’s entire body trembles and drops, not able to hold the position any more. “I’m sorry.’ Blaine sobs. “Maybe if I do the advanced yoga class…” Blaine can feel the weight of Kurt’s naked body over him, and gentle kisses along his shoulders and neck. It grounds him and makes him feel safe. “Don’t ever say sorry for what you need or what you can’t handle. I need to know what makes you feel good. Now tell me what you want.” Blaine’s cock is still throbbing, and god, he wants more. “I want to feel you inside me so badly. I want… I want you to claim me as yours. If you don’t fuck me right now, I think I’ll die. I’ve been fantasizing about it since I got home.” Kurt pushes off Blaine’s body and orders, “Then get on your knees.” Blaine’s haste is almost comical as he scrambles onto his knees. When he hears the condom wrapper crinkle, Blaine moves his hand to his cock. “Don’t touch yourself. That belongs to me… You belong to me,” Kurt growls. Blaine’s heart starts racing when he hears those words. Kurt’s cock quickly but smoothly enters him, and in this position, Blaine feels claimed. Once Blaine nods, Kurt starts thrusting quickly and holds on to Blaine’s hips for leverage. “Look at you taking it, Blaine. That tight little hole of yours is made for me.” Blaine moans and starts babbling, pushing his ass back to get even more of that incredible feeling. Kurt changes the angle every few thrusts until his cock finds Blaine’s prostrate. “There, Kurt!... Right there…. Don’t stop… Fucking Incredible…” Kurt leans forward and takes Blaine’s cock in his hand. “You are mine, mine, mine… No-one else will hear your moaning. No-one else will see you like this. No-one else will ever have you. Mine! Mine! Mine!” When Kurt twists his wrist at the top of Blaine’s cock, Blaine screams at the top of his lungs. There are streams of thick white cum shooting across the yoga mat. Blaine can feel Kurt go still as he orgasms ten seconds later. Once Kurt pulls out of him, Blaine collapses to the side of the mat. “Oh my god, Kurt. You were amazing.” “You were pretty amazing too. I think we ruined your yoga mat.” “I’ll buy a dozen more tomorrow. When you talked dirty to me… Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.” “Neither was I,” Kurt replies. “But I could tell that it really turned you on.” “You know, Kurt, I don’t always want sex fast and rough like that. I also love it when you’re caring and gentle, but what made it really special was that you did it for me.” “Hey, I had an incredible orgasm too. I like trying out different things with you. I love you.” “I love you too.” ***** Kurt drives up I-87 through the Catskill Mountains and Albany, and then keeps heading north. They stop at Mrs. London’s Bakery and Café in Saratoga Springs for lunch. “Oh my god, Blaine. I haven’t had a baguette sandwich this good since I was living in Paris.” “Saratoga Springs is an excellent choice, Kurt. The flat track horse racing is still going on and the Philadelphia Orchestra is currently at SPAC for its summer season. Where are we staying?” “We’re not staying in Saratoga, Blaine. It’s too busy and expensive in August. Besides, there’s media everywhere, what with Marylou Whitney and other high society people staying at their mansions for the month. This is just a lunch stop.” While Kurt is buying a dozen pains au chocolat from the bakery to go, Blaine wonders where they could possibly be going, because they are very close to the Canadian border. “Umm, Kurt. I don’t want to be a killjoy, but I didn’t bring my passport.” “You won’t need one, silly. But I promise it will feel like we’re in a different country because where we’re going is nothing like New York City.” They get back in the car and return to the Northway. They are soon in the Adirondack Mountains and leave the highway a few exits past Lake George. Blaine spots a sign that says “Welcome to Schroon Lake. Population 1,654.” Kurt drives on the road that borders the lake, then takes a right hand turn onto a short gravely drive. Blaine gasps when he sees what’s in front of them. There’s a small cute two-story log cabin with a wrap-around balcony on the top floor. In the front yard, there’s a campfire area surrounded by comfy-looking chairs. The sides and back of the cabin are completely surrounded by pine and maple trees, giving them privacy. Kurt rushes up the stairs on the side of the cabin and takes the key from under the welcome mat. Inside, the main room has a kitchen, a dining area and a living space with comfortable looking chairs and a sofa. There’s an old-fashioned cast iron wood-burning stove in the corner to keep the cabin warm during cold winter nights. Kurt opens the French doors that lead out to a balcony to take in the beautiful view of Schroon Lake. Blaine stands behind Kurt and wraps his arms around him. “I can’t believe that we’re still in New York State. It’s perfect. Where did you ever find this place?” “I had coffee after class with Nicole a month ago, and she was telling me about upstate New York, where she’s from. She showed me pictures of her aunt and uncle’s log cabin in the mountains, and it looked perfect for our getaway this month. Nicole contacted her aunt, and here we are,” Kurt explains. They explore the rest of the log cabin. There are two bedrooms and a bathroom on the main floor. They climb down the steps to the lower level and find a pool table, bunk beds, an old sectional sofa, and a large flat-screen TV. Kurt has packed for both of them, and when they go to unload the car, Blaine is surprised to find a large ice-chest and a half-dozen recyclable bags filled with groceries. “I knew we would be in the mountains, so I had Amy buy food supplies and prepare a few meals in advance. I can think of a hundred other things I’d rather being doing instead…” Kurt pulls Blaine in close and whispers “… with your body.” An hour later – after they’ve christened the pool table – they unpack their things, and Blaine fires up the BBQ while Kurt prepares a salad to accompany the lamb kebabs Amy prepared for them earlier. After dinner, they make a campfire and toast marshmallows for s’mores. Blaine loves the sticky kisses he gets after they’ve eaten the sweet treats. After adding a few logs to keep the campfire going, Blaine sits on Kurt’s lap, who’s positioned in the huge cushioned wooden Adirondack chair. Blaine nuzzles into Kurt’s chest, watching the sparks fly up from the fire and listening to nature’s sounds around them. “There’s lots of things to do in the area, Blaine. There are water skis and fishing rods to use with the boat if we want to. There’s tons of walking trails in the mountains. If it rains, we can go to Lake George and go shopping at the outlet mall and hang out in the indoor arcades. If we drive thirty minutes, we can…” “Do you know how much I love you,” Blaine interrupts. “I can’t believe you organized such a perfect vacation. There is nowhere I’d rather be right now than in your arms.” “I love you too, Mr. Cheesy. Is it okay if we talk about something that I’ve had on my mind lately? It’s about next week and starting back at school again. There’s a change in my plans.” Blaine nuzzles further into Kurt’s chest, worried about where the conversation will go. He’s been so happy living with Kurt these past two months, and Blaine doesn’t want it to ever end. Could this idyllic vacation be over before it really started? Blaine nods his head and whispers, “What change in plans? I thought we were happy together.” Kurt squeezes Blaine tightly. “Oh god, that didn’t come out right. We are happy together. I’ve never been happier in my life than during the past two months. It has more to do with FIT.” Blaine lets out the breath he’s been holding, relieved that Kurt isn’t breaking up with him. “I went to my academic advisor yesterday and told him I was changing my major. I want to study jewelry design. I loved the summer course, and there’s something about creating a work of art from metals and different color gem stones that people can wear that appeals to me. It’s really sparked something inside me. Now, when I look around, I see inspiration everywhere for brooches, rings and the like.” “I’m not really surprised. The things I had to do this summer to convince you to leave the jewelry workshop at FIT. I love the jewlery you’ve created and I think you have a special talent. And trust me, I see a lot of jewelry come across my desk at Vogue, so I know what I’m talking about.” “You don’t think I’m too fickle, changing my major?” “Nonsense, Kurt. You’re following your gut feeling about what’s right for you. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what I’m going to do as well. I’m thinking of really giving songwriting a go. I have enough ideas for songs to put together an album and I want to spend some time with Marley Rose and flesh them out. I think she has the perfect voice for them.” “That’s fantastic, Blaine! Pretty soon you’ll be giving up your day job and pursuing your music.” “I’m not sure about that. New York City’s pretty expensive, and I still need to pay the mortgage.” “New York City is expensive when you live in a penthouse, and have a driver and housekeeper. But we don’t need to have that sort of lifestyle. Honestly, Blaine, I would be happy living in a shoebox as long as we’re living together.” Blaine suddenly sits up and wonders if Kurt really means it. When he looks at Kurt, he sees a warm hopeful expression. Kurt’s eyes are sparkling, and he’s wearing the same large smile that he had on the first day Blaine met him. “Do you mean…?” “Yes, Blaine. I want us to live together, now and for always. I like spending time with my best friend, my lover, my prince charming. I’ve been crazy happy since I returned to New York.” “Me too. I love living with you, Kurt. I can’t wait to get home each day to spend time with you.”

Kurt slaps his forearm and brushes off a dead mosquito. “Let’s take this inside before I’m eaten alive by bugs. I can think of a lot of ways we could be celebrating.” Author notes Song Blaine starts to compose - ‘Surprise, Surprise’ by Bruce Springsteen

Did you guess the identity of KrianFeels? Next up:  the last chapter (there’s also an epilogue).