#truly the ugliest man

[chxrryrose]

zak brown when lewis & seb were speaking out for lgbt+ rights, racial equality etc;

also, zak brown;

[little-candy-store-of-horrors]

Leopold I and Eugene of Savoy walked so modern Nerd x Jock pairings could ru- *a hoard of historians rightfully and violently grab me and whisk me off their conference podium to the back where there are sickening gunshots and I am never heard of ever again*

((turn on audio you will regret))

[atlafan]

…

[tswkento]

author’s notes: as soon as i saw that satoru didn’t like this usami dude i knew i had to write this.

satoru had a growing suspicion that the usami guy — whom he couldn’t stand by the way — had a crush on you.

it’s so obvious to satoru, his six eyes burn with the assurance; ever since you and usami have been assigned to remaster the archives and check all of the reports since you two were the closest to higher-ups. at first, of course, when gojo heard that you won’t be taking all of the work onto yourself he was very much glad, good for you, but when usami appeared — that sleazy smirk and lazy look on face, the white haired man got kinda tense.

usami acted so different around you it made satoru go crazy whenever he noticed.

the way the tall brunette shamelessly leaned over you by the table as he read into the paper you showed him. the way he sat with his bony knee touching yours and his shoulder bumped into you whenever he passed you, for which he gave you an apologetic smile and patted your arm for too long.

satoru absolutely hated the way usami’s eyes softened whenever he looked at you and the way his voice turned hushed as if you’d be bothered in any way from his usual indifferent tone.

and it felt like that the fucking asshole knew how much it pissed satoru off and continued doing it so shamelessly and calmly just because the higher-ups wouldn’t replace him no matter what. ‘too much of an important asset’ his ass.

his eyes transforming into cold stones laced with triumph over him as he locked his gaze with satoru’s from across the room and whispered something into your ear. or when his thin lips twisted in the ugliest fucking smirk satoru’s ever seen — he truly hated the man.

don’t get him wrong: satoru trusted you wholeheartedly, he just didn’t trust that lapdog. he even complained about it to you, which you dismiss because usami is a great asset when it comes to the history of the whole jujutsu society and the tokyo branch where all of you are settled, he is a walking encyclopaedia and he knows a lot more than everyone because he basically acts like a teacher’s pet to higher-ups.

“i haaate that dude. he used to be mean to ijichi and he wants to steal my girl now? ridiculous!” which was kind of true — usami and ijichu were from the same year, but the latter got scrutinised a lot for choosing the job of an auxiliary manager instead of a sorcerer, needless to say.

you chuckled, not looking away from your papers as you stroked the back of his head, fingers scratching on his undercut, “look at you, defending ijichi when you bully him almost every day. i’m very proud.”

“hey! i’m always just joking around. usami is the real bully here.”

“right.” you nodded dismissively, shutting the manila folder in your hand as you stood up from your chair. satoru patiently waited as you tidied up the desk in the archive room, leaning against the other one, right when the door opened with an ugly squeak and usami came in, holding two identical cups of coffee.

“brought us some coffee— oh.” his eyes scanned satoru’s figure with a disappointed look, not giving him any verbal acknowledgement, before focusing on you, questioning, “i thought you were going to stay with me for the night?”

the choice of words is deliberate, spiteful with the purpose of egging satoru; which did piss him off a little bit, his hand squeezing around your waist in an attempt to ground himself. his mouth was still free though, so he didn’t hold back as his other hand grabbed one of the cups from usami’s hand, taking a big gulp from it and forcing his face not to twist in disgust from it’s taste(it just didn’t have any sugar).

he shrugged his shoulders, faux apology on his face as he smiled down at the brunette, “sorry, man, she’s busy with me.”

the tone of his voice didn’t leave any room for further inquiry so satoru just pulled you in for a quick kiss and guided you to the exit, turning his head to check on usami’s face one last time. the pure disappointment and resentment that covered his features was enough to make satoru smirk, which usami noticed, disdain adding into his expression.

“your coffee’s shit by the way.” satoru said right after letting you out of the room and then followed suit, not interested in usami’s reaction anymore.

“his coffee is good though. it’s from colombia.” you snickered, arm wrapping around satoru’s waist as you both walked through the hallway.

“no drink is good without sugar in it.” he threw the cup into the nearest thrash can and pulled you into his side, finally calm and satisfied with himself again.

[bluesidez]

hiii love 💗 may I request a nsfw and a sfw alphabet thingy for gymrat miguel. I just need more of that man 😫😫

[Gym Rat Miguel SFW + NSFW Alphabet]

lab tester: Anonymous Participant 🩻

pairing: GymRat!Miguel O’Hara x Chubby!Reader, PlusSize!Reader, fem!Reader

summary: Me answering questions and yapping about Gym Rat Miguel!

content warning: 18+ for the NSFW portion so MINORS DNI, most importantly THERE ARE SOME SPOILERS FOR THE ACTUAL STORY (nothing too crazy, but some of the questions are things that haven’t happened yet + they haven’t even been together a year yet in the current story so there’s still much to discuss), lots of fluff, possibly the incorrect use of a fidget spinner?? (it's cute I swear)

word count: 9.1k, halfway proofread (sigh...)

a/n: Hi hii!! 🩵 You don’t know how happy I was to receive this request!! Any chances to talk about my Miguels outside of their actual stories are golden. 🥺 I tried to keep the responses brief so about 2+ paragraphs per question but we all know how much I like to write and yap 😭 so there's bound to be some long paragraphs. I do hope you enjoy!!! (This also gave me a chance to flesh out his character even more, which I appreciate more than you know, so truly, thank you Anon!)

I just refer to GR!Miguel as Miguel here because…we all know who I’m talking about.

A = Affection How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has a really giant heart so he’s extremely affectionate especially when it comes to his girlfriend. Usually, boys are taught to kind of control their emotions, but even with those teachings/societal rules hanging over his head, he was always a sweet and kind baby growing up. His abuela especially taught him to lead with kindness. 

ᰔ ᩚ He shows affection often through action. While he’s really familiar with all of the love languages, he’s quicker to do something for someone (acts of service) before he does anything else. His second most used love language has to be words of affirmation. Words and communication are a sensitive thing for him so communication is key even if he can be oblivious about it sometimes. 

B = Best friend What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is definitely the "dad friend," or really, the "parent friend" that’s always making sure you’re ok. He knows how to parallel park and owns at least two of the ugliest ties you’ve ever seen in your life (thank you, George). He’s also EXTREMELY huggable, even in his tall and lanky days, and gives really nice advice. If you’re struggling with something, he would lay everything out and help you problem-solve. Overall, he’s just very sweet. 

ᰔ ᩚ For Miguel, a friendship could start with you constantly talking to (bugging) him or being able to keep up with his nerdy hobbies. You want to hear him sort out quantum physics? He’s sold. On the other end, anyone who is nice to him and treats him like a human has a fair game of becoming his friend.

C = Cuddles Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?

ᰔ ᩚ Does he? He craves it! He will literally stop what he’s doing to find you just to cuddle. It’s like a way to regain his energy if you're in his arms. At the same time, he’s very comfortable despite all that hard muscle. At home, he usually wears soft sweaters and joggers so he is indeed like a giant teddy bear. The older he gets, the more his body gains a nice balance between fat and muscle so it’s just really comfortable all around.

ᰔ ᩚ When he cuddles, he’ll usually shove his face in some plush part of you. He definitely loves laying on your chest which he lovingly calls his pillows or your stomach or your lap. He’s really clingy. If you’re out and about, he'll cuddle you from behind with his chin on your head or keep an arm wrapped around your hips. When you ask for a cuddle, he’ll gladly hold you on top of him and probably fall asleep. 

D = Domestic Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?

ᰔ ᩚ He wouldn’t mind settling down, but it depends more on how you feel rather than him. He’s heard many stories from his mother, Abuela, and tías about how hard childbirth is so he’s very wary of that pain being inflicted on you. His mother has told him multiple times about how giant he was when he was born so he’s scared that whatever baby he could give you might also be huge. After he learned of Tyler, Conchata told him that she wanted to cuss Tyler out, but all she had was George in the delivery room so he suffered her wrath not once, but twice. 

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has fantasized about you with his babies, but to his shame, it was more about the process of giving you his kids rather than having them run around. He has to admit, he would love to see chunky babies with a mix of you guys’ best qualities. One family reunion with you taking care of your baby cousins might put him in a spiral. He’s sure that you’ll be a great mama and he’s confident that he’ll be the best father. If that doesn’t work out, he’s aiming for tío of the year for the many nephews and nieces his brother is sure to have. 

ᰔ ᩚ In terms of domestic qualities, he’s spent so much time with his abuela that he knows more dishes than his mom. He’s also had times when his mom got sick of constantly cooking for him, so he’ll be up at the crack of dawn fixing his own meals. His cleaning could use a lot of work. He knows the basics, but his family always fusses at him to do more than that. In front of you? He becomes a new person. All of a sudden, he remembers the ways his mother fussed at him to clean the house.  

E = Ending If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?

ᰔ ᩚ Even though emotionally he’s extremely mature, he’d probably be a wreck when it comes to breaking up with you. He loves very deeply and separating from you has a high chance of sending him to the ER. If he doesn’t pass out while breaking up, he’d definitely be extremely sick afterwards. 

ᰔ ᩚ If he had to break up with you, he’d do it face to face because anything else is an insult to you. It’ll be somewhere public enough that you’re free to walk away from, but private enough to where no one will be like “wtf is up with those two?” He'll write out what he wants to say a thousand times over and have his desk littered with notebook paper. In his ‘speech’ he’ll praise you heavily but say something along the lines of “even though you are my sun, I can’t continue to drain your light.” Just VERY dramatic and heartfelt. He’d probably be sick enough to puke after watching you go. 

[Good thing this will NEVER HAPPEN. Even I, the angst lover, can not take that torture.]

F = Fiance(e) How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is fully committed to you even without the ring. He is quite the planner, so as soon as he reaches the end of undergrad, he’s already planning out his proposal. Of course, he’s asked you how you feel about marriage and has peeked over your shoulder at your Pinterest boards so he has an idea of what you would like. However, he’s truly a romantic, so he’s pulling out all of the stops. 

ᰔ ᩚ He doesn’t feel the need to get married right away because you both have huge futures to explore, but damn it, he wants people to know that you’re taken, so maybe he’ll buy you a promise ring. He’s willing to wait until you both have stable jobs before making the huge step to marriage, but he fights the urge to propose to you constantly. He also spoils you like crazy and he wants to earn the money for your rings rather than asking his family for help.

G = Gentle How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is the definition of a Gentle Giant. Really, it’s something that first grew from his mom always fussing at him to be a big boy so as to not make Gabriel upset, but his Grandma has always been so kind to him because she felt that Conchata treated him differently than Gabriel. 

ᰔ ᩚ Physically, he’s always extra aware of his surroundings because now, not only is he tall, but he’s also wide. There’s a new strength to him that he learned to control after roughhousing with Gabriel got a little too rough, ending in a fractured wrist bone. Miguel was crying more than Gabriel on the way to the hospital. He ended up helping him in saxophone practice for weeks. For you, you’re like his personal weighted plushie. He’s not going to be too rough, just firm squeezes every now and then. 

ᰔ ᩚ Emotionally, he’s always careful of what he says to others. It takes A LOT for him to yell or blow a fuse. He knows how much words can hurt so he never wants what he says to be the reason that someone is hurt. He cries at the drop of a hat. He’s gotten better at not crying so easily, but he definitely can’t see people he cares about cry. That night that you sobbed in his arms, he cried a little with you then and a lot while you were in the shower. When you first got together, he feared that his tears might be the breaking point for you but every time he cries in front of you, you’re there to wipe them away. 

He’s definitely crying on your wedding day.

H = Hugs Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?

ᰔ ᩚ He loves hugs, but he’s certain that his family is sick of his hugs. Just like how big dogs don’t realize how big they are when curling up somewhere, he is very similar when he goes to hug his closest family. His Abuela will often fuss about how he’s just a big baby and Gabriel sets a three-minute time limit, claiming that he’s going to transfer his body heat if he hugs past that. His dad is not really known for hugging and his mom gets irritated too fast. You are the only one who can stand his hugs that feel like they last a lifetime. 

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel’s hugs feel like really warm firm clouds. His waist is itty bitty so your arms can completely go around it but if you put your hands in other areas, he’s bound to start borderline purring. You’re a lot softer than him so he craves seeking you out for hugs. He likes to give them for any occasion: when you’re about to part, when you see each other for the first time in a while, when you finish a set, when you’re sad, when you’re happy, when you’re out shopping and are indecisive about which color of a product you should buy, when you’re taking too long in the art store, when you’re fresh out the shower, etc. He’s just a cuddle bug read: clingy boyfriend.

I = I love you How fast do they say the L-word?

ᰔ ᩚ [According to the story] Miguel calls you his love over the phone during Thanksgiving break which is about four months after knowing you and about three months into dating. He calls you his darling by the time the New Year comes around, he also won over your mom a little after Valentine’s, and he admits to himself that he’s falling in love by the time the spring semester has ended.

ᰔ ᩚ He doesn’t say he loves you out loud until the dinner party after everyone pisses him off which is roughly seven months into dating. However, all of his actions from the handwritten cards to the handmade crafts to the thoughtful gifts to the sweet words have all been signs of his growing love for you. Quite frankly, he would have told you he loved you sooner if he didn’t want to freak you out and he tells you so the night his mother demeans you.

J = Jealousy How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?

ᰔ ᩚ You haven’t seen the extent of how jealous Miguel can get, truly, you just know of the couple of times he’s almost knocked people out or been completely rude to the people he’s thought were trying to lead you on when he was standing right there. He has shocked himself with how green he gets but it doesn’t stop him from feeling that way. When he gets jealous, he’ll find little ways to show others that you’re his such as PDA, lingering a bit too close to you, glaring directly at others whose eyes are planted on you for far too long, or getting really mean towards people who make advances.

ᰔ ᩚ Oddly enough, he’s never aware of the things that he does that attracts others because he’s so busy trying to be cordial that it may come off as flirty. It’s very hard for him to push people off him because that’s never really happened to him until he started bulking up and again, he doesn’t want to hurt people that haven’t hurt him.

K = Kisses What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel’s kisses are consuming and soft, warm and inviting. He gives you his full attention and pours his entire heart into it. The feeling of him against you only really leaves you wanting more, so you have to snap out of it and tell yourself to regain control. He could probably spend an entire day just in your face making out without ever going further, but he might need frequent trips to the bathroom to calm himself down. 

ᰔ ᩚ He likes to kiss you on your lips mostly but his other favorite places to kiss you are your stomach, your collarbones, and your thighs. He has to limit himself from leaving marks all over your skin because he’s keen to do it if you don’t stop him. He also likes to be kissed on the lips and he especially loves it when he doesn’t expect them. Surprise kisses have him on cloud 9 for the rest of the day. He really loves it when you won’t bother to reach up to him or lean him down and you settle on kissing him in the middle of his chest. It feels like your lips warm up his heartbeat. Lastly, he feels ignited when you leave kisses on his back, especially the back of his neck. To him, it’s like a promise for more or a way to ignite him. Start kissing his back and he’s not letting you leave him for at least 20 minutes. 

L = Little ones How are they around children?

ᰔ ᩚ Kids use him like a jungle gym. He is a fan favorite amongst his baby cousins who are always asking to be thrown in the air. He would think some babies would be afraid of him, but once they’re in his arms, they’re either really excited about how high off the ground they are or they’ll fall asleep instantly in his arms. 

ᰔ ᩚ He’ll often tire the babies and kiddos out and his family will find him in a pile with him as the pillow to little heads. 

ᰔ ᩚ Another key thing is that he won’t use baby voices with babies, but rather he’ll talk to them like normal human beings. It’s very useful when he has to break up fights between his baby cousins who often argue over who gets to play with him first.

M = Morning How are mornings spent with them?

ᰔ ᩚ Mornings with Miguel are more like Miguel going to do his workout while you sleep. You’re not really a morning person, so you’re a bit drowsy whenever he kisses you all over your face before he leaves. He always chuckles at your sleepy state and urges himself to not get distracted, but more often than not, he wants to stay with you. Some mornings, he’ll get right back in the bed with you after his shower and kiss you until you wake up. 

ᰔ ᩚ On the mornings that you do go with him to the gym, it’s mostly him talking with you humming along one-word answers until you’re actually fighting for your life in the gym. Afterwards, he always takes you to go get breakfast whether that’s a smoothie or him making you something. 

N = Night How are nights spent with them?

ᰔ ᩚ Nights with Miguel are very loving! If you let him, he’d do everything from shower with you to brushing teeth together to skincare to hair care and so on. Being that both introverts and creatives often work/operate better at night, sometimes you both are up at all times of night doing anything. You could be drawing on your iPad while he’s up playing games with your feet in his lap.  

ᰔ ᩚ Sometimes this is also when he lets his most intimate thoughts slip out. With his head on your chest and your nails scratching against his scalp, he’s in his most vulnerable state.

O = Open When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?

ᰔ ᩚ Rather than revealing things about himself, all of his drama just happens to unfold for him. The way he brought up Tyler Stone, the super famous tech CEO, being his father just happened to be the time when you were doing something extremely serious. 

ᰔ ᩚ He can tell you things and open up about his past, but you never really grasp how serious it is until it appears before your eyes. His turmoil with Kron was 4+ years in the making and the first time you met Kron just so happened to be the time Miguel connected his fist to his face. His relationship with his mom is something that’s been an uphill battle and you haven’t really seen how bad it can get, but you’ve felt how cruel she could be. Tyler's yearning for a relationship with his youngest son is something you see happening in real-time. 

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is as open as he can be, but nothing ever really prepares you for the real deal.

P = Patience How easily angered are they?

ᰔ ᩚ It takes a lot to push Miguel’s buttons because he often lets things pile up and boil over. He’s not easily pushed to true anger until someone hurts the people he loves. One time, Gabriel kept coming home crying but he wouldn’t tell Miguel who was hurting him. Once Miguel found out, he ripped the kid a new one which led to Conchatta grounding him for a week. His Abuela was proud of him for standing up for his brother and Gabriel snuck him sweets when he thought their parents weren’t looking. 

ᰔ ᩚ He really wanted to say more to his mother that night she hurt you, but Kron took most of the brunt of that anger which helped him level out a more reasonable response to his mother. He doesn’t like seeing you hurt especially over things that he finds to be beautiful about you.

Q = Quizzes How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has been taking in details about you ever since he first saw you in his Biology class. It was almost as if he was studying you. He knows your favorites, he remembers your friends, he listens to you constantly, and stores things for later. He even begins to know the subtle habits that you have. 

ᰔ ᩚ The only things that tend to go over his head are when you mention really advanced art techniques. As much as he tries, it never really sticks. He also conveniently forgets how often he asks for cuddles.

R = Remember What is their favorite moment in your relationship?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has a bank of lovely memories about you stored in his mind (and many more to come 😗). One of his favorite memories was when you went out of your way to make sure that those sorority girls got suspended. He often lets bad things happen to him until he can't control it, but you immediately caught the situation and nipped it in the bud right away. He’s never really had anyone do anything to that extent for him as fast as you did and even though he knew he wanted to pursue a relationship with you before, from that moment he knew that you were special.

ᰔ ᩚ Another memory is the last-minute birthday present that you got for him. It was so thoughtful and sweet and he’s constantly using it. The two of you were only at the sproutings of a relationship so to make such an impactful gift meant a lot.

S = Security How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?

ᰔ ᩚ He’s extremely protective. This means little things from making sure that he’s the one walking closer to the street and watching your drink while you’re dancing to big things like intervening when men don’t catch the hint to roughing up men that don’t respect your boundaries. He’s willing to use his brute strength in order to make sure no harm comes to you but he hopes it never has to get to that point. He’d rather use his strength to carry you in his arms. 

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel doesn’t really feel the need to be protected but when you go out of your way to protect him, he can’t help but think that it feels nice. Like, look at my girlfriend going out of her way to make sure that I’m alright, to make sure that I know that I deserve to be protected too. There’s really no other feeling like it to him.

T = Try How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel goes through so much effort for anything that involves you. He tends to go a little stir-crazy when planning. He marks up his calendar, sets appointments, makes calls, pulls certain strings: anything he can do to see a smile on your face. He remembers so many details about you just so he can pull together the perfect gift. With Tyler trying to get on his good side, he may or may not have asked him to help him out with things that are on the expensive side. 

ᰔ ᩚ However, there are things he does that does not involve so much money. Your cafe dates, your study dates in the library, your handmade gifts, and your nights riding around in his Range Rover getting late-night food. If you’re sick, he’ll bring you tea and make you soup. He’s there when you’re cramping, soft hoodie on and heating pad in hand. He waits for you after your art classes, ready to carry your portfolio across campus. He takes your glasses off when you fall asleep with them on and soaks your oil brushes when you’re in a rush. He cares about you deeply.

ᰔ ᩚ Your one-year anniversary is soon…what does Miguel have planned? 🤔

U = Ugly What would be some bad habits of theirs?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has a nasty habit of overthinking. He often thinks too much for his own good, which is why exercising is so close to him as it forces him to focus on his form and his sets rather than the running hamster wheel of words in his mind. His overthinking could lead to imposter syndrome which in turn causes him to question whether or not he deserves the nice things he has, whether or not he deserves to be with you. With the big reveal of the man he’s known all of his life not actually being his dad, it really only dug a deeper hole into the habit he’s had ever since his mom’s different treatment of him versus Gabriel.

ᰔ ᩚ On the other end of the spectrum, he can be a bit of a perfectionist which can lead to stubbornness. Conchata has berated him all of his life, so at first, he felt the need to appeal to her good side as her son. The older he got, the more this turned into battles of proving her wrong. No, he wasn’t a bad influence on Gabriel. Yes, he could get all A’s and stay up playing video games. No, he wasn’t afraid to end up alone. Yes, he would try to go to some far-off college. 

ᰔ ᩚ His relationship with his mother is far from fixed, and there's no telling how these habits are to continue to affect his other relationships.

V = Vanity How concerned are they with their looks?

ᰔ ᩚ At first, Miguel would just own a few nice looks here and there. He’d only really care about the quality of his graphic tees, the softness of his sweaters, and trying to avoid high-water pants. Between his parents and his grandma, a lot of the clothes he got made him resemble a lanky old man. It wasn’t until he started to bulk up that his wardrobe took a change. His old tees could barely fit over his arms and the bigger ones got turned into crop tops to chill out in. His sweaters went to Gabriel who threw them in the deepest pits of his closet. 

ᰔ ᩚ Gabriel ended up styling him at one point which resulted in a lot of extra basketball shorts and god-awful t-shirt hoodies. If it weren’t for Dana and his older cousins telling him that he looked like an extra off of Jersey Shore, he would have never changed. He quietly asked Tyler for some kind of stylist which in turn helped him to find more clothes that fit his new body type. 

ᰔ ᩚ When you come around, you expand his style even more with your eye for detail and your insistence on having coordinating outfits. You know what looks good on him and with the way your eyes trail his body, he for sure knows what you think is hot.

W = Whole Would they feel incomplete without you?

ᰔ ᩚ Absolutely. 1000%. (More of this will play out a bit in Part 10…)

ᰔ ᩚ Obviously, in any Honeymoon stage of a relationship, the couple can feel extremely lonely without their other half. Miguel is an absolute yearner. He hates parting ways no matter how at ease he feels by himself. He never really thought of himself as someone who needs a partner, but now that he has you, he’s trying to juggle between knowing when to give you space and knowing when to impede your space. He feels a lot lighter when you’re around, a lot freer. Tackling college felt so foreign to him, but with you, he feels like he can conquer anything. 

ᰔ ᩚ If you were to ever leave this world before him, there would already be enough bits and pieces of you left to fill the half of his missing heart. The only thing is, he would miss your presence dearly and that radiant smile of yours. In his dreams would be the only place where he could feel whole again. X = Xtra A random headcanon for them.

I have three

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel loves PDA, but sometimes, you’re still a bit shy about it, so you found a compromise: a fidget ring. When he wants to love on you so bad that he can’t stand it, but you’re hyper-aware of the people around you, he’ll take your hand and just start spinning the ring. It’s your sign that he’s craving your touch. It doubles as a distraction when you’re in crowded spaces and his energy levels are low. You can tell when he’s ready to leave an event with the way he’s fidgeting with the ring. A slower tempo means he wants to exit a conversation, a faster tempo could mean he’s overwhelmed or nervous, and moving the entire ring around means he’s ready to go. It’s an effective system for communication between the two of you.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel loves, loves, LOVES girly pop music. It gives him so much energy during his workouts and what’s better is that they’re really catchy. He hasn’t gone out of his way to watch any of the music videos or learn the dances, but take him to a concert, and he’s bound to know the words. He also has a high chance of being put on the Jumbotron or being called up on stage which could lead to intense screams from others and an awkward dance from him. Gabriel has a stan account that he refuses to show his brother’s face on because he knows it’s bound to be his most popular post.

ᰔ ᩚ Even though he’s extremely book smart and intelligent, when it comes to you, the Himbo gene activates. One compliment from you, no matter how small it is, could have him grinning like a fool all day. Whatever it is you complimented him on will be brought to the forefront constantly. He’ll buy a horrid amount of cologne just because you said you liked the way he smelled that day. He’ll take pictures of himself at the same angle because you thought one photo of him was good enough to put as your phone background. He’ll get worked up with one touch in public from you, especially if you haven’t touched him all day that day. He might even do something that you mentioned off-handedly from a TikTok or a tweet like buy a t-shirt with your face on it or have the lights on his Range Rover doors reflect your name. Sometimes you have to tell him to cool it, but if you praise him for it, he’s going to keep doing it.

Y = Yuck What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?

ᰔ ᩚ In general, Miguel doesn’t like when people aren’t direct. He’s not a mind reader so he prefers when people say exactly how they feel rather than beat around the bush. People have done that far too much with him so he gets irritated when he’s put in a situation where the other party is not being upfront with him. He also hates when people are bullies for no reason. He’s not here to figure out why someone is taking out their insecurities on others but he will put them in their place. 

ᰔ ᩚ He also severely hates when people interrupt his sets. If you see he’s using the machine and he’s in the zone, why are you bothering him? He likes to think that he gives off the energy of a determined Gym Bro but in reality, he just looks really hot racking up those weights. Either way, don’t fuck up his set.

ᰔ ᩚ In a partner, he wouldn’t want someone that disrespects his family. He knows it’s a little dysfunctional, but his partner has to be truly dedicated to him before they even think about complaining about his family. He also tends to like his partners on the thicker side. He’s for all bodies, but he prefers when his partner has something he can feel so he honestly wouldn’t like it if his partner was too much smaller than him. 

Z = Zzz What is a sleep habits of theirs?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel always needs to hold onto something when he sleeps. Whether that be the pillow, the comforter, or you, he needs something in his arms. It can make for a very hot bed so whenever you guys are going to sleep together or taking a nap, you make sure to have a fan right by the bed. More often than not, he’s sleeping without a shirt on.

ᰔ ᩚ One other habit is how he gets when he’s really sleepy. He gets a bit whiny and grabby with tears threatening to fall with how much he’s yawning. He’ll say things that he won’t remember the next day like how pretty you are or how much he loves you. He might talk in his sleep a bit before he’s completely out of it which makes for hilarious videos. Like this, his snores are a little louder and his face pressed against the pillow is super cute. 

ᰔ ᩚ In the morning time, when he doesn’t have a workout planned, he might have a little drool from how hard he slept. If you wake up before him, he’ll squint at the light and mumble about what time it is. 

[THE MAJORITY OF THIS SECTION CONTAINS THE TRUE SPOILERS]

A = Aftercare what they’re like after sex

ᰔ ᩚ During sex, he gets in a specific mindset similar to the one he has in the gym, so it might take him a minute or so to snap out of it. He’ll be so wrapped up in the pleasure of the moment that he’ll forget that he needs to stop and make sure that you’re ok. Once he’s back focused, he’ll wipe your body clean and massage the muscles he’s sure to have stretched out. After that, he’s in dire need of cuddles and kisses.

B = Body part their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s

ᰔ ᩚ Other than his face, which he agrees is pretty hot, his favorite body part of his own might be his arms. He worked hard for them! He’s always shocked looking back at old pictures of himself, seeing how he’s nearly triple the size, and wondering who that guy is. He also thinks that the Stone side has blessed him greatly with his dick. He’s always been well-endowed. When you came into his life, he found a new great appreciation for his own thighs, although he’s still battling with the thought of you wanting to be choked in them.

ᰔ ᩚ For you, what part of you doesn’t he like? He couldn’t really choose if his life depended on it because there’s so much to love. However, there’s no better feeling than the weight of your ass and thighs against his lap. If you could use him as a chair constantly, he’ll never complain. It’s the perfect position for him to feel you up and plant his face right in your cleavage. If your back is to him while you’re on his lap, then his hands are immediately on your stomach. You used to hate it at first because he would just squeeze at it or tickle you constantly, but he really loves to place his hands on the warmest parts of you, and right under your stomach happens to be one of those zones. 

ᰔ ᩚ If he said he liked his forehead being pressed up against your stomach while he ate you out, you wouldn’t get mad, right?

C = Cum anything to do with cum, basically

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel hasn’t really talked about it with you but, he especially loves it when he marks you. You always look so pretty with him painted across his skin, and he has so much to give. When his dick is down your throat and you try your best to swallow all of him, he feels feverish when it spills out down your face. He can’t help but think about how gorgeous you look. When he’s fucking your thighs and it spills onto your skin he just wants to rub it in.

ᰔ ᩚ When he’s inside of you and it just won’t stop dripping out of you, it riles him up even more. You’re his and his alone.

D = Dirty secret pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs

ᰔ ᩚ He does have a few! One of which is fantasizing about you riding him on the bench press bench while the other side of the gym is occupied. It’s so unlike him, and when the thought first passed his mind, he was so ashamed he couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eyes for a day, nor use the bench press without getting lightheaded. Just the thought of you leaning over him blocking out the bright lights of the gym, sweat dripping onto him,  and watching your ass hit his skin in the floor-to-ceiling mirrors was enough to get him to plan out how to build out his gym in his future home. 

ᰔ ᩚ Another is the amount of times he’s gotten off to the thought of you before you were officially together. He told you about the wet dreams, but he didn’t tell you how bad it was. He’s not sure if he’s ever produced that much cum in his life. It’s a wonder he was able to hold steady conversations with you with how head-over-heels he was. He fantasized about the sounds you would make and tried to remember how your body felt against his from the little touches you gave him. He tried to hone it down because, god, that’s creepy, but you were so radiant that you never really escaped his mind.

E = Experience how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is what I deem as a “virgin slut.” He’s very inexperienced when it comes to love, relationships, and sex, but he knows too much by proxy.  Again, he’s the parent friend that’s always giving advice, so for the most part, he knows what and what not to do. He’s heard about the things that his friends have done and he’s wondered what experiencing it would be like with you.

ᰔ ᩚ Would you like this position? Would you want to try this with him? Does he want to know what this would feel like? While he feels a little embarrassed to be so inexperienced, he’s happy that you’re excited to share these new experiences with him.

ᰔ ᩚ In terms of sex and foreplay, he’s learning as he goes, going with what feels good and what you react well to. He’s constantly researching, remembering, and trying out new techniques. You’re his first, and if he has any say in it, his last, so he feels that there is plenty of time to get to a more experienced level.

F = Favorite position this goes without saying

ᰔ ᩚ Any position where your breasts are in his face is a position he’s happy in. There’s nothing like watching them bounce while you ride him within an inch of his life. He wants to look at them, he wants to put his mouth on them, he wants to suck them, he wants to bite them: just put them in his face.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel also really adores any position he can hold you in. He notices how excited your body gets when he’s balancing you in his arms while pounding away. You get so wet that he’s mesmerized. The tight feeling of both you around him and your shaking hands gripping his shoulders keeps him going. He really just wants to see every ounce of your body move with him.

ᰔ ᩚ Did he tell you that he wanted you to sit on his face today or did he forget to set his reminder? 

G = Goofy are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is very serious in the moment because nothing is funny about your pleasure. All the laughing and giggling will happen before he’s sinking into you. He’s very serious about watching your face and your body for anything new and familiar. Did you think something was funny before? Well, he’s making sure that you’re not laughing by the time he’s finished.

ᰔ ᩚ Rather than being goofy, he will ask you something out of left field in the middle of the moment if he feels that you two have something to work out.

H = Hair how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is not the hairiest but he also doesn’t not have hair. His friend waxed him for practice one time and he’s certain that he’ll never let her do that shit again. He keeps his face clean because he feels like growing out his facial hair makes him look scruffy, although you’d argue that he looks pretty cute. 

ᰔ ᩚ His happy trail does lead like a nice present to his gift that keeps giving. He will let you trim him from time to time and help him wax when the sun is getting too hot. 

I = Intimacy how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect

ᰔ ᩚ He is very intimate during the moment, especially during your first few times together. He’s always reassuring you and holding you close. His eyes never really leave your face when you’re pleasuring yourself or reaching your peak. He loves to talk into your skin and your ears. 

ᰔ ᩚ If he’s not grabbing onto you, he’s holding your hands and rocking into you. He’s kissing your wrists and your cheeks, wiping any tears away. Where you might not be able to speak, he’s asking yes or no questions, wiping your hair out of your face, and telling you to let go. 

J = Jack off masturbation headcanon

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel’s sessions usually take a lot, but since gaining a roommate, he can’t go all out like he usually does. He cums a lot so he usually has to put a towel down or waits until he gets into the shower to fully let go. He prefers to use both hands whether that means lifting his hips off the bed while he jerks or holding his dick in one hand while playing with his nipple in another. 

ᰔ ᩚ His sessions after you both get together were even messier, especially with you giving him new material. Voice recordings, polaroids, phone calls: all of it is being used for him to get off when you’re not near. 

ᰔ ᩚ Once, you called him in the middle of one and he was winded as ever. You recognized those breaths the instant he talked and brought him to the hilt with your voice alone. He fell a little more in love with you that day but panicked when you wanted to switch to FaceTime. 

ᰔ ᩚ His chest was….a mess, but you giggled at how cute he was anyway. 

K = Kink one or more of their kinks

ᰔ ᩚ Praise kink: Miguel loves to hear that he’s doing well. Please tell him that he’s doing well, he craves it. There’s definitely a reason that he needs to hear you urge him on, but your voice always sounds so good when you’re in his ear. Tell him how good he made you feel, tell him you’re proud of him, and maybe call him a good boyfriend and he’ll start trembling. 

ᰔ ᩚ Hair pulling: This is one that he didn’t know he had until you accidentally yanked his head too hard while trying to stop him from tickling your stomach with his breath. He kind of froze when the groan came out of him, leaving you staring at each other for about three minutes. Once he realized what happened, his face went beat red and he wouldn’t look you in the eyes for the rest of the night. You promised him it was ok, and tested out a little hair-pulling a few weeks later which he thoroughly enjoyed. He especially loves it when you pull his hair while he’s in between your legs. He cums almost instantly. 

ᰔ ᩚ Semi-public sex: There’s something about fooling around in “private” public areas that turns him on. On the balconies of hotel rooms, in private yacht pools, in dressing rooms, in his car: he just can’t wait until he’s in the bedroom, he needs you now. Are you both louder than you should be? Yep. Does he care? Not really. 

L = Location favorite places to do the do

ᰔ ᩚ Again, he loves semi-public sex, but he also really loves even more intimate places like on vacation in your hotel room or on your dorm bed when Jess isn’t in there. (Although you’ve told him many times that having sex in that open room could be rude. As a compromise, he brings you to his dorm and fucks you there instead. Peter can live.) He really wants to make love to you in his childhood bedroom (the room is full of him but he wants your scent in his sheets), but he knows his mom is far too nosy for that to even happen. He’s not even sure if he could make out with you without her coming in there to check on you two. 

M = Motivation what turns them on, gets them going

ᰔ ᩚ Honestly, you could probably just stand there and Miguel would conjure up a way to be turned on. Seriously though, it’s little things like seeing your midriff or hearing you call him baby in a different tone, especially if you’re doing something sexual, that gets him going. If you do something like extensive PDA (rubbing up against him, kissing him long enough to use tongue, dancing on him), wear clothes that show off your body, or when you stare at him while he’s doing his work.

ᰔ ᩚ If you’re wearing a dress that he can see your fupa through? Hard. When you’re doing jumping jacks next to him in the gym during his sets? Turned on. When you wear his clothes? Rock solid. When you take the initiative? Puddy. When you let others know that he’s yours? You might not make it to your destination without him touching you in some way.

N = No something they wouldn’t do, turn offs

ᰔ ᩚ He’s not into degradation AT ALL. He’s way too much of a gentle lover/boyfriend to ever put you on a lower level than him whether it’s supposed to be enjoyable or not. 

ᰔ ᩚ He is also not into pain specifically when it comes to giving it. He doesn’t want to hurt you. He might do a light smack every now and then but he can’t bring himself to inflict pain, especially if it bruises. The closest you might get to that is if he gets too carried away when pounding into you, and once it’s all over, he’ll feel like a dickhead. It takes him a while to realize that you don’t mind it when his skin is slapping against yours hard enough to sting later.

ᰔ ᩚ One last slight turn off is choking. He’s never going to be comfortable enough to wrap his hands around your neck. You’re determined to let his thighs squeeze you at least once, but if he hurts you by accident, he might do something incredibly drastic. 

O = Oral preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel O’Hara is a munch. Miguel Munch O’Hara. He could stay down there for hours. Being that the first time he ate you out he actually had you screaming, he would say that he’s pretty good at it. But! There’s always room for improvement. For example, he wants you to sit on him and he wants to heat you out while you’re sitting on his shoulders. He’s slowly, but surely, inching his way there.

ᰔ ᩚ He likes giving more than receiving mostly because he can’t look down at you giving him head without losing his mind. At least if he’s eating you out, he can keep going if he cums. If he cums while you’re swallowing him, he needs at least a minute or two to reset. Not to mention, the sounds your throat makes when you’re sucking him in makes him conflicted. You promise you like it, and he loves the feeling, but he’s still wary of fucking into your mouth and hurting you.

P = Pace are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel’s pace is deep, slow, and sensual because he has to pace himself. If he’s wrapped up in you, he’s bound to forget about his own pleasure in place of making sure you’re feeling good, but once you get to sinking him in and squeezing so tight, he wants to hold that out as long as possible.

Q = Quickie their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.

ᰔ ᩚ They seem nice. If only he could commit to them. Quickies often turn from 10 minutes to 20 minutes to way too long in a compromising position. Also, there’s way too much to clean up for what he does with you to be considered a quickie.

R = Risk are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.

ᰔ ᩚ With you? He’s willing to try most things, although they’re mainly vanilla. Risks for him might lead to late night trips to CVS for a pregnancy test so it’s best that he researches and plans things out thoroughly. Right now, the most he might be eager to do is change up the positions and try not to touch you.

S = Stamina how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has a lot of stamina! He’s not in the gym for shits and giggles. Still, to him, he has a lot of work to do in terms of going all night. Right now, he can last for about 2-3 rounds without breaking a sweat. If he focuses on you, he can extend that number to about 4 rounds. His refractory period is also pretty stellar if he must say so himself.

ᰔ ᩚ Now, whether or not you can keep up with him is to be determined. 

T = Toys do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has been too scared to own a toy living in his mother’s home, so he’s never bought one. (How Gabriel got away with buying the most obscure things, he’ll never know) The only thing he has is the bottle of lube that he frequents and his extra sets of towels to cover his bed.

ᰔ ᩚ On you, he’s happy to try out whatever you’ve got. He was really fascinated with the mechanics of your rose toy, but he’s also determined to make you have the same reaction with just his mouth alone. What kind of boyfriend is he if he can’t make you forget about your tiny pieces of plastic?

ᰔ ᩚ He’s also interested in trying out different types of lube, but he’s got to research which ones are really worth it.

U = Unfair how much they like to tease

ᰔ ᩚ Open the dictionary, flip to the T section, slide down the pages until you find the word “tease,”  and you’ll see Miguel’s government name on the third definition of the word. He likes to claim that you’re a tease when really, he’s just a horny himbo. He knows what he’s doing when he sends you sweaty gym pictures. He knows what he’s doing when he dresses up all nice for you. He knows what he’s doing he’s all in your face in public, feening for a reaction out of you. He messes with you on purpose. 

ᰔ ᩚ Let this behavior make it to the bedroom and he’s either going to regret it once you take over OR he’s going to continue it until you’re coming apart in his arms. Teasing you always leads to great, great sex.

V = Volume how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is loud as fuck. He has to cover his mouth when he’s alone in his room thinking about you. When he’s inside of you, if he’s not moaning into your mouth, he’s breathing heavy right in your ear or groaning loudly right into your shoulders. He’ll often be louder than you. If you’re moaning with him, he encourages you and sings right along with you. 

ᰔ ᩚ If you’re focusing on his pleasure, he’s hyper-aware of the sounds he makes so he tries to muffle them which leads to whimpers and whines. You love it when he gets this way.

W = Wild card a random headcanon for the character

ᰔ ᩚ Hip thrusts are a great exercise for the lower half of your body and should never be missed on leg day. They pinpoint the glutes, the abs, the hips, the hamstrings, the back, and the quads. With a steady added weight, anyone who is doing this exercise possibly is sure to grow those muscles greatly over time.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is never missing a chance to do hip thrusts because he is determined to fuck you this way. He can only imagine the shock on your face as he holds you up and pumps into you with a steady rhythm. 

ᰔ ᩚ He’s never missing leg day.

X = X-ray let’s see what’s going on under those clothes

ᰔ ᩚ He’s definitely a shower which is why his tiny little exercise shorts can get buck-eyed looks sometimes. The first time you saw him, you felt yourself panic a bit. But the weight in your mouth? Indescribable. 

ᰔ ᩚ To you, he’s the prettiest you’ve ever seen. If you had to guess, he’s probably 8- 9 inches, but it doesn’t really matter when you’re watching him leak like a faucet. He curves so nicely and definitely feel the effect of it when he lands. Watching it twitch to life has given you more inspiration than you care to admit.

Y = Yearning how high is their sex drive?

ᰔ ᩚ It’s too high for his own good. He can switch like a light and be ready to go down in you within minutes. It’s that foggy himbo mindset and the fact that you’re his first girlfriend. There have been many times where he’s gotten distracted by just thinking about you and the things he wants to do. He riles himself up when researching techniques, so of course he’s ready to be in you at any time.

Z = Zzz how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

ᰔ ᩚ Once you’ve both settled down, he’s out like a log. Let’s be real, not only has he probably worked himself up, but you definitely knocked him out with how good you gave it to him. He uses all the stamina during sex and when it’s over, the energy just fizzles out. It’s funny because you would think you were supposed to be the one that’s barely holding on, but there he is, mumbling into your skin.

ᰔ ᩚ This is definitely the time to get really soft responses out of him: satisfied, pussy-whipped, and dozing off.

This was really fun! As always, like, reblog, and COMMENT. Let me know how you guys feel! 🩵

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[luvsgalores]

it was cute seeing her all riled up. just gave him the right amount of satisfaction that he got under her skin enough and it proved she had cared just the slightest, faintest, bit about what he did... primarily because it interfered with her life. he couldn't get rid of the shit - eating grin that was plastered and glued to his features as she spoke, claiming it was only a one time thing when he was more than confident he could get her back in bed if he wanted to. ❛  why are you so against having another fun night with me ? ❜ volume of his voice raised slightly to overpower her whisper. ❛  you say someone who can actually get you off like i didn't accomplish that more than once. nice try though, babe. ❜

wouldn't be surprised if there was smoke blowing out of her ears. tried to give him the benefit of the doubt on many occasions. blame it on his life, all of the trauma he's endured, but there's only so much the blonde can handle. especially when he's going out of his way to interfere with future prospects and having a damn good time doing it. eyes squint into tiny saucers as soon as the words leave his lips, " i told you that was a one time thing. " voice is hushed now, just above a whisper. hasn't even told sydney about their little slip up yet, plagued by embarrassment. " seems like you're the one who's bothered here. what, you don't want me hopping into bed with someone who can actually get me off? "

[sweet1delusi0ns]

Nicknames Naruto boys call you—☆*:・ﾟ

Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,Lee🥋, choji🍥,gaara⏳, kankuro🪆

Naruto🦊-*

He always calls you complimenting nicknames such as beautiful, gorgeous and pretty ect. He doesn’t care about your looks honestly you could be the ugliest person alive and he’s still love you. He just needs you to know your attractive no matter what! But also calls you the classics like babe n sweetheart!

“Good morning gorgeous!!” “I look like a fucking raccoon babe.” “Your still attractive no matter what y/nnnn” side note he loves giving morning kisses~

Sasuke🗡️-*

Darling. Without a doubt he calls you darling or love. He’s not sure what he would call you at first other than your name but it soon came to him. He is soooo soft for You idc what anyone says I can just imagine his soft voice “oh love” “anything else darling?” “I have a surprise for you my love” (I’m crying)

He will genuinely start crying if you called him sweet nicknames like that. (I’m writing abt that later😋)

Kiba🐺-*

Hes so Basic yet so complex honestly he will call you the most basic nicknames like babe or sweetie but then go on for hours how your the only one for him and how your were like a missing piece in his heart that he has finally found, yet he can’t come up with any better nicknames😭

“Babe have I ever told you how I feel like I’m missing apart of myself every time your away. Honestly just going to bed without you pains me so much. I’m so happy I found the one for me~” “not even baby just babe?” “I’m trying to be sincere and sensitive y/n!”

Shikamaru🀄️-*

He mainly called you dear like a old couple (LOL). Other than the sweet compliments he gives you about how hot you are n such he’s similar to kiba, basic nicknames but a lot of meaning

“Dear, I have put together a small picnic for us. I finally have time to treat you right so I figured I’d take you on a date” “Aw your the sweetest old man ever~” “anything for you dear!….HEY.”

Shino🪲-*

Call me stereotypical but he totally calls you love bug, cuddle bug or flower, cuz your his little love bug yk just full of happiness (mostly). He isn’t one to just use nicknames every sentence, he thinks nicknames should be special not matter how many times he uses them!

“Shino! I’m so happy your back home ugh I’ve missed that face! Cmon give me a hug~” “of course, I’ve missed you too love bug, or should I say cuddle bug” “either one is fine Shino~”

Neji🎋-*

Destiny (ha get it) I’m jus joking. Similar to shikamaru he talks you like you guys are an old couple but still romantic, so names like sweetheart, love and gorgeous. He uses them frequently thought so throughout the day you get to hear his pretty voice

“Sweetheart how was your day?” “Love do you want to tag along with me to the store? Or just for a walk” “you look gorgeous as always” AGH

Lee🥋-*

Ez he calls you precious. He finds it complex enough to show the love he truly feels for you without the nickname being overwhelming. “You are my precious! I will spent my whole life protecting and serving you! You deserve the best!!” I love him.

“So pretty! You are so special y/n! You are the most precious person to me!” “My precious I have a surprise!” “Precious, do you care for some tea, I’m making it fresh!”

Choji🍥-*

Also ez he calls you either honey, sweetie, or pretty. Honey and sweetie for obvious reasons, he finds you as sweet as candy and as yummy as honey, but he also finds you VERY attractive.

“Honey! I’m making dinner I hope your hungry pretty~” “your so nice to me y/n, like sweets! Ooooo that’s a good name, sweetie!”

Gaara⏳-*

He just calls you by your name, he doesn’t know what he’s doing LOL. You’ll have to coerce him into calling you cute nicknames by either promising him a reward or explaining how it’s normal to call loved ones names other than their name.

“You can call me anything you want gaara!!” “Can I Call You raccoon?” “No.” “Oh.. then what can I call you?” “Oml I’ll give you cuddles if you start calling me darling~” “sure thing y/n…uh darling..?” “Your so cute when you get flustered!”

Kankuro🪆-*

Flirt. So names along the lines of hotty, sexy, doll. Pretty self explanatory he thinks your fine asf so he’s gotta make it known. “Oo whos that hotty? Oh my gosh that my lover~” he teasing you, well atleast tried you but you just end up giggling at his attempts!

“Doll do you want to come help me in my work shop?” “Danm your so sexy~ honestly I’d let you do anything to me” “what’s your problem weirdo!” “Your hot thats my problem”

[gothicminxx]

WC: 2.3K

Satosugu x Gn reader!

CW: Mention of blood, mention of death, description of a corpse, slight angst w/ comfort, use of pet names (baby, pretty, angel), poly relationship Satosugu x reader.

Song suggestion for beginning:

Summary: Your two boyfriends comforting you after a nightmare, all around pure fluff

The sky burned hues of angry red and a deadly orange, the smell of death prominent in the air that it made you clasp a hand over your mouth. It stung your lungs and made your eyes tear at the harshness of the stench. The trekk back to safety felt far, like the destination itself was unattainable or perhaps it didn’t exist. The feeling of your legs burning and your muscles aching made the journey that much more unbearable.

Everywhere you looked there were corpses of people you didn’t recognize followed by thick grey clouds of smoke. Your body felt sticky with your blood, tears, and sweat— everything hurt, a pain so agonizing it made you want to shrivel up and die. When did things turn out this way? It seemed as though memories of blue skies and the warmth of the sun were long gone. Instead it was replaced with the ugliest shade of red and reeking scent of death.

You took sharp inhales of breath that pierced your lungs, you felt this time around you were truly going to die alone. It was silent in the city besides the crackling of fires in the distance, as if you were the last person standing.

That was until you saw him. The tuffs of pink hair and tattoo markings along his flesh as he sat high and mighty on his throne. A malicious smirk lay proudly on his lips as if he had conquered the world and cleansed the Earth of those he deemed unworthy of life. The king of all curses, Sukuna Ryomen, looked back at you with fiery red eyes. Your lips trembled as if you had finally found your demise, but it seemed like a blessing rather than a punishment.

The piles of corpses that lay beneath his throne; two stuck out the most. The first being long raven hair with a disheveled bun, thick crusts of dried blood in the strands, the lifeless face of Suguru Geto stared back at you. Next to him was pearly white hair that was stained with red, rosy lips dripping with crimson liquid. Cerulean eyes had now turned pale and utterly unrecognizable, the great Satoru Gojo was dead.

Falling to your knees as their corpses lay mangled before you, shattered you in the worst way. A crippling scream left your lungs that it felt as though your throat had ripped in two. Fat tears fell from your eyes and stung the open cuts on your face, during your moment of mourning you could hear Sukuna’s mocking laughter. Satisfied at the agony you felt as the two most important people in your life now lay dead.

You hugged yourself tightly as you continued to scream loudly, not remotely concerned about the rippling pain in your throat. Why couldn’t have you been strong enough to protect them? Why weren’t you fast enough?

Why? Why? Why?

“Name?”

The angry red sky and Sukuna’s face diminished from your view as you jolted up in bed. Sweat dripped from your forehead as hair stuck to the wet flesh, your oversized shirt clung to your body. Eyes darted around the room, moonlight streamed in through a sliver of the curtain. It was dark, making it almost impossible to focus besides the loud beating in your chest that felt as though you were on the verge of a heart attack.

“Name?” There it was, that deep voice coaxed with sleep and concern that made you snap out of it, your wide eyes turning to your left. Suguru stared at his lover, placing his hand on your thigh and squeezing tightly. The sounds of your screams and frantic moving in bed had jolted the raven haired man from his slumber.

Clutching your chest as your lips quivered, “Su-Suguru?” You croaked out as a small sob emitted past your lips.

That was enough to shatter his heart in two, hearing your voice so small and broken made him want to cry. Suguru was quick to wrap you tightly in his arms, kissing the top of your head. He tried his best to not wake Satoru next to him, of course his efforts would be in vain. Especially when it comes to you. The six eyes could sleep through a bomb but when it came to you it’s as if his body knew.

Satoru rubbed sleep from his eyes to adjust to the dark room, hearing soft sobs as he turned his attention towards Suguru. His heart sank immediately as he witnessed his lover hold you tightly, you, his whole world, clutching desperately onto Suguru’s shirt like your life depended on it.

“What’s wrong?” Satoru asked as he immediately shot up, quick to be close to Suguru’s side as his giant hand cupped the back of your head. The two men shared panicked looks as they held onto you tightly, listening to every sob that left your lips.

You couldn’t muster a word if you tried, the only thing you could manage were their names in wails. It hurt like hell to see you in such a state and the best they could do was squeeze you in reassurance. The two strongest sorcerers were utterly weak when it came to you, that even a mere scratch on your pretty skin made them anxious. It simply couldn’t be helped— they loved you too much.

Suguru shrugged as he looked at Saturo, a deep frown etched on his lips. The worry was evident on his face the more he felt you shake in his arms, “‘s okay, we’re here baby, we’re right here.” Suguru whispered, nuzzling his cheek against the top of your head.

Satoru laid his head on Suguru’s shoulder as he ran his fingers through your hair, trying his best to soothe you with his touch. Sometimes he wished there was a technique to get rid of the suffering within your heart, to take away the pain you felt or whatever made you cry. If he was the strongest, why couldn’t a technique like that exist? It didn’t seem fair to him.

As moments passed and their soothing touches never faltered, your sobs began to quiet down allowing you to find your voice, “I saw your dead bodies…” You croaked out, a small whimper escaping your lips, “Sukuna, h-he, I-“ You couldn’t even finish your sentence, shaking your head as another sob threatened its way out of your lungs.

The two men shared knowing looks, since being faced with the king of curses just shy of two months ago, it was something deeply engraved in their minds. The lives of innocents lost and nearly dying themselves, it often haunted their dreams. You as of lately hadn’t been able to sleep much, you could still hear the screams of the humans, the smell of death around you. It was a stench unlike any other, not even the smell of a curse could match that.

A day where Satoru felt as though he had lost everything, Suguru laying in the asphalt covered in blood and barely gasping a breath of air. You barely clinging onto the oxygen the trees provided, chest barely heaving up and down— slowly dying. It was an event that altered your brains and made sleep hell.

Recently Satoru had found a way to evade the dreams, sending himself into a spiral of a sugar high that made him crash intensely. While Suguru drowned himself in sleepy time tea because it made him dream of anything but that. But you rarely manage the nightmares anymore, rarely sleeping, or finding the excuse to nap during the day with your lovers on the couch.

“Oh angel, we’re here. We’ll never leave you, I promise.” Satoru pressed his nose in your hair, inhaling the soft aroma that belonged to you. His voice held an edge to it, one where he himself was reassuring his mind that he’d protect you and Suguru with his life. That he guaranteed.

Suguru pressed a kiss to your temple, gently lifting you from his chest and placing you in Satoru’s lap, “I’ll go make some tea.” He murmured, standing from the huge bed and heading toward the kitchen. He’d do anything to comfort you, to make you warm and whole once more. It was also an excuse to let his tears fall from his eyes, Suguru didn’t want to cry in front of you, no, he needed to be strong when you needed him. He couldn’t help it, the way your lips trembled and your tears streaked down your face, it hurt his heart to see you so afraid of losing them. He understood that fear too well, facing Sukuna and his limits being tested— feeling so useless once he used up the last bit of cursed energy that he couldn’t protect you or Saturo broke him mentally.

You laid your head against Satoru’s chest, fisting his shirt tightly in your hands, and you were wrinkling the fabric. But he didn’t care, holding you tightly against him that you could hear the gentle thumping of his heart. He cupped your cheek, thumb gently caressing your cheekbone. Satoru gently rocked your bodies to and fro, trying his best to soothe his lover— as your cries died down and all that remained of your tears were the salty stains they left behind, he knew he was doing good. “Hey there, pretty baby.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Hi.” You managed, voice hoarse from how dry your sobs made your throat, “‘Toru please don’t ever go.”

A pang could be felt in the six eyes chest at your soft and defeated voice, he loved you so much it hurt. “Never, I’m the strongest… remember?” Satoru winked down at you, chuckling in hopes to lighten the mood— to hide the fear he felt of one day failing to protect you, but that’s not possible; he hopes.

But somehow you manage a weak smile and nod, he was Satoru Gojo, your dumb and cocky boyfriend that always protected you from the bad guys, how could you not trust him? When it came down to it, even during the battle with Sukuna, you had put your trust in both Satoru and Suguru. The two men made a vow amongst each other and with you, that they would do anything and everything to protect those they loved. Neither had failed yet in keeping that promise it was near and dear to their hearts.

Satoru gazed ahead to the sheer cream colored curtains that swayed in the breeze, the moonlight made its way inside a small crack— bright and welcoming as it gently caressed your cheek. A small twinkle evident in your eyes as you looked up at him with sheer admiration, it made his heart swell. Taking your hand in his he intertwined your fingers together, bringing the back to his lips to press a kiss there, nuzzling his cheek against it.

He wasn’t the type that liked to admit just how much he worried about you and Suguru. That when either of you cried or felt a negative emotion that his heart would feel tight and the air unbearable to breathe. He’d do anything to keep those beautiful smiles on your faces, anything to rid the evil of the world just for you and Suguru. “I love you, name. Nothing in this world will ever take us away from you.” And he meant every word.

The six eyed sorcerer leaned down, tilting your chin up to meet him in the middle, and you swore you inhaled a deep breath at the sight of cerulean eyes glittering in the moonlight. His soft lips came in contact with yours washing away the fears and worries— images of his dead corpse fading into nothingness. He tasted like cherry chapstick and vanilla cake as he swiped his tongue in your mouth. An earlier dessert he had after dinner to focus on “grading assignments”, but it truly was just a greedy indulgence.

The kiss was passionate and slow, Satoru wanting you to feel every emotion he felt in just one kiss, to truly remind you that you had his heart forever. You pulled away, placing your forehead against his, “I love you too.”

A small hum came from the doorway, Suguru stood with a tray of ceramic cups filled with sleepy time tea. He hoped that it would subside the night terrors for you as it did him, a smile of adoration etched itself on his lips as he saw his two lovers nestled up together. He walked inside your guys’ bedroom and placed the tray on the nightstand. You sat up straight and moved over to Suguru’s lap the moment he sat down in bed. Burying your face in the crook of his neck and inhaling the light smell of jasmine and cedar wood. Suguru immediately wrapped his arms around you and let out a sigh of content, “Feeling better?” He asked.

“Mhmm, sorry for worrying you.” You murmured.

“Don’t apologize angel, I'm just glad you feel better.” Suguru whispered.

The raven haired man handed you the ceramic mug, watching as you blew on the hot liquid to take a drink. He took the opportunity to move your hair from your face, and mentally thanked Satoru for comforting you. The white haired man smiled fondly, scooting into your side to sandwich you in between them.

As honey danced on your tongue from the warm beverage, you couldn’t help but steal a kiss from Suguru’s lips as a thank you for the tea. His hand cupping the back of your head to deepen it, lapping his soft tongue with yours, “I want a kiss too.” Satoru whined, giggling as the two of you pulled away and peppered his face with kisses.

Your night terror became a distant memory, the fear you felt for the king of curses now seemed so minuscule as you pressed against Satoru’s chest and wrapped in Suguru’s arms. Your two strong sorcerer’s that would do anything to keep you safe. Their warm embrace lulling you to a comforting dreamless sleep.

[lizzy019]

Nikto x Chubby Reader! I don’t really see enough of those 😢 on Tumbler or anywhere else. (And yours truly is a chubby lady here)

Ahh, I've written one already somewhere! I'll write this here as smut because... (as a chubby girl as well) WE NEED RECOGNITION!!! this is HEAVY on insecurities jsyk but ENJOY <3

~~~~~~~~~~ 18+ ~~~~~~~~~~🌿~~~~~~~~~ 18+ ~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, you were practically curling in on yourself as Nikto tenderly peeled the fabric of your clothes off. You had agreed to this only for the sake of his happiness, even if you weren't entirely comfortable with it.

Fucking gravity, making your breasts fall out to the sides in the ugliest manner. Like they had no interest in what Nikto was willing to give you. You wish they were perkier sometimes, that they were able to stand proud whenever given some freedom.

Nikto was careful with you, you were his doll anyway. Precious skin that glowed in the dim lighting of the room, hair tossed in wild swirls on the pillows. How could he not adore you when you were so effortlessly pretty? A man like him felt such shame for taking you for himself, even when you assured him of his worth.

The callouses on his hands were rough, yes, but they felt oddly soft when they traced your hips. The motion held no malice, only an undying appreciation in its wake. Despite you wanting to hide away, cover yourself up and escape his apartment for the sake of your modesty, you just couldn't sum up the courage when the sharpness of Nikto's eyes pulled you just a bit closer.

"Моя любовь, stop scrunching up your face. You're not old enough for wrinkles." He tried to joke, truly. Nikto didn't like seeing you stressed or nervous about something as lovely as these intimate moments.

And it worked, to his surprise. Your expression went from furrowed brows and an anxious look in your eyes, to a warm smile and puffy cheeks. Under his mask, he could feel his own lips quirking up to match yours, you were infectious in your mannerisms.

Your hands gently came to smooth over his biceps, and your once happy smile soon fell to one of lament and confusion. Why had such a handsome man, muscular and built come into your life? You felt slobbish beside him, like he could have gotten someone who didn't feel ashamed of their own flesh.

Nikto was persistent though. Sure, he wasn't very connected to his emotions, but he was to yours. You could be stubborn at times, especially with your self image. But you being fully nude in front of him, seeing the little plush of your tummy, the little lines along your hips and under your lower belly, how fucking massive your tits were...

He was a starved man, after all.

But he waited, he waited until you gave any signal that you were even remotely close to comfortable so he could lavish you in all the love he could possibly give you. He wasn't very affectionate, but you were different than him. He'd adapt to better fit you any day.

Once you finally seemed to relax knowing Nikto wasn't judging you, he acted quickly. His hands scooped up the round globes at your chest, squeezing them like his personal pair of stress balls. Your own hands were quick to latch onto his mask, hastily finding the clips and undoing them. If you could suffer being insecure, so could he.

And he didn't argue. He stilled so you could undo his mask more easily, letting the metal and fabric mask fall from his face as you aimlessly tossed it to the floor.

Yes, you recognized that face. Misshapen, misaligned, a bit battered and unframed, but pretty. Handsome, per se. The bags under his eyes were nothing new, you could see them even with his mask on. But his pretty pink lips, buzzed hair, uneven stubbly beard, burnt face... you just admired it in silence.

"Нет, I see you looking at me like that. None of that. You cannot love me and not love yourself." He huffed, the soft rumble in his speaking just making you swoon.

But you giggled and used the leverage you had to your advantage. You pulled his head down just enough until you could press your lips perfectly against his. The taste of faint nicotine and vodka was all consuming, and the way he pressed his hips against yours had you muffling the softest crooning noise.

It wasn't long until Nikto separated his lips from yours, moving them to make a trail down your neck, to your chest, your sternum and abdomen until he met right in between your thighs. Those big, squishy thighs that he swore he could live between. Using the strength he had to lift them over his shoulders while his thumb lazily spread open your labia.

Pretty coloured cunt just happily clenching around nothing, but you were simply just a bit uneasy with the way he was staring at it so hard. His thumb just shallowly plunged into the sweet hole of yours. You weren't wet enough, he knew this well. Maybe you were still too nervous to really get wet.

So both his hands went to loop around your thighs, his hands squeezing them in a swift pattern to keep you relaxed before he dove in.

A soft cry was torn from you while he licked and sucked at your pretty cunny. Warm tongue lapping up any juice you let go for him, and your legs were seizing up as your hips tried to buck up into him. The noises tumbling from your mouth left Nikto working twice as hard, pushing himself closer so his nose tapped and rubbed lightly against your clit.

You were practically seeing stars, back arching and curving to the point where you were sure you'd need a chiropractor after this. The bubbling in your lower abdomen was harsh, and you knew you were getting dangerously close.

Your hands pressed his head closer to your aching center, the sounds of your moans heightening the closer you got to sweet release. Nikto didn't stop his assault, no, not when you were practically humping your pussy against his face.

It didn't take long for you to crumble, a loud sobbish whimper escaping you as you came undone from simply his mouth. Nikto just enjoyed his meal like the hungry man he was, licking whatever leftover juice there was and even making sure his lips were clean before he continued.

You really didn't see how pretty you were to him, did you?

He gave you a few seconds of cooldown, watching your expression melt from high off of pleasure to calm in the afterglow. Your eyes fluttered open, and you giggled once you managed to see him. He had a bit of your mess on his nose.

"Nikto, your nose." You smiled, holding in the giggles as he tried to wipe it off.

Moments like these made you realize how lucky you were to be dating someone like Nikto. Sure, he wasn't perfect, no one was. But... he sure could be cute at times regardless of his looks.

The afterglow left you a smiling mess as Nikto cleaned you up and offered you pyjamas. Giddy from how happy you were because Nikto just truly adored you; you never knew the full extent of it.

So once you both were settled in bed, smiles faded to soft curled smirks, you could only pepper kisses to his scarred lips that gave you so much pleasure. Nikto could only let his expression grow fond as you did so.

The blankets were pulled over your shoulders, and your body was pressed up against his. He was warm, scaring off the chill of the room. And with a few kisses and a few soft "Я люблю тебя (i love you)"s, you fell asleep comfortably within his grasp.

Oh, he just adored every part of you.

[shuenkio]

Rewrite the stars | PJ.s 🍂

Paring: Jay x Male!reader | Genre: Angst but fluff.

Synopsis: the man who once broke your heart, decided that he will make a change between you and him, to form the love once again.

Cw: nothing just two exes getting back together.

Non proof read | Eng is not my 1st lang.

This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio

A-N: This was way back in June so it's a bit 🤏 cringe and many dramatic scene you'd discover, again I'm still develop how to express character emotion:> .

Years of dating with Jay crumbled in a blink of an eye when m/n saw him with a girl on a date with his gift that m/n gave him during his birthday. M/N calmed down, trying to process what's truly happening. We can't judge a book by its cover, but the moment M/N saw Jay press a soft kiss on the girl's cheek, it's over.

There's no explanation for this. M/N's tears break down unconditionally; he wants to go there and scream at Jay's face and ask why he would do such a thing to his boyfriend here. That's the ugliest memory you had of him. Nevertheless, since I love him very much, he can't seem to let him go.

Not because of his wealthy status; it's because he loves him so much from the bottom of his heart that he swears he would do anything for Jay. However, Jay had asked M/N to break up with him, and with no more heart in those eyes that once used to be, the adorable expression he made just for you when he talked about his day is no longer in this broken relationship.

Begging for him to stay would just make you pathetic and blinded by love. When m/n has decided he has to let him go, the person who's once been the love of his life is now leaving for their own good. Are all of the memories and promises nothing to Jay? The question seemed unspoken without an answer, clenching in his chest painfully in sorrow, along with the hurtful words that haunted your sleep every single day.

"Let's break up"

—5 years later, after  M/n graduated and found his true passion with his dream job. He was no longer stressing about nonsense; he got everything at the age of 25: money, a car, a house, importantly, a job. chapter of his life wherein he can get whatever he wishes for. I worked as a designer, making tons of exquisite and high-quality collections of luxurious clothes and dresses that hit the market every single time they were launched.

His name soon became the hot topic in society; not only did he walk with the trend, he was also loved by everyone with his relatability and kindness. Moreover, during the week, while he was spending his time at the spa, M/N got a call from his manager saying that there'll be a new member of a top-tier design team who wishes to work with you, especially as one of the co-workers. This was not new, nor is it difficult to handle, but what was coming for you was a blind spot.

The time has come; M/N is now in a meeting room, waiting for the new guy who is eager to work with him so much. He wonders who it could be, as a top-tier designer in this city will make an appearance in front of you at any moment soon. The glass door was opened by a pair of hands, and his manager came in with the taller man behind in his black suit. Everyone in the room stood up as a sign of respect except M/N.

He was so lost in thought at the new face behind his manager. He is quite familiar. M/N refuses to care if he's scolded by the supervisor, yet who cares? The whole group settled down in their own seats, and due to M/N sitting across from the table, he began to focus on the meeting instead of giving his attention to that guy.

"Everybody, Meet Jay Park! He will be working with us from now on, as a designer, of course, just like our gem, M/N. Haha, and it looks like this gentleman is here. I look forward to working with you. How do you like that m/n? " It was horrible the unrequited attention on you was your least favorite thing you thought would never happen; the uncomfortable shift in your seat explained everything.

"Very well, Mr. Park. So then, since I've already seen him, I'll take my leave. Please excuse  me." Once m/n knew who he was, he spared no time before leaving the place immediately. A glance on Jay's face, flashing back all of those nightmares once again. I don't know if it's because of work or something else, but deep down, a part of him said Jay is probably planning to take you back. How annoying.

Ever since the first meeting, of working together with your ex, M/N got nothing but troubling. Whenever Jay had time alone with M/N, he would always bring up the past topic all over again. He was truly sorry for his actions—for hurting you and for cheating on you with another girl. Jay swears he would wear his skin to the bone just for you to accept him once again.

However, it was such a bad move. Due to how much popularity M/N had, there's some reason you thought he would come back for you just because you had fame. Along with the sudden request to get back together, what will happen if he's going to cheat and repeat all the events once again? A busy day ended with the finished touch of your creation. M/N didn't know how long he had been standing here in the studio. All the sections are in pitch black except him. Employees have all gone back to their own homes. Prepared for you stuff to head home after a long day, a fade of voice fills the room from behind. Well, it was loud and clear to recognize.

"M/n i... Aren't you supposed to go home yet?" He paused, dipping his hands into his pocket.

"I'm about to. It's getting late; you should too," m/n implied with no enthusiasm for a small talk.

"Look, um, I know it's hard for you, but please hear me out." Jay's words seem so desperate; the low tone in his voice gives me chills. From the head to the bottom, not gonna lie, it's true he's a total mess. The bags under those eyes were visible on his face, and the lip was dry like he hadn't drunk any water. Is he going to make you pity him? No? At least you give him a chance to talk.

"If you talk about our relationship again, you should stop. I have nothing for those past  memories."

"I’m so sorry... I never should have hurt you. I'd let you go. But every day without you is like living in a world with no sun—cold, empty, and endless. I was wrong to think I could burn on my own and that I didn’t need you. Without you, I’m just ashes. Please, I can’t keep pretending I’m okay. I’m losing pieces of myself every day. Give us another chance—I need you more than words can say" He whispered, his voice thick with regret. His hands trembled as he reached out, but he hesitated. Still respect your boundaries and keep the space between them. M/N stood there, stunned.

His chest tightened, and he could feel the lump forming in his throat, making it impossible to speak. Memories flashed through his mind—the laughter, the nights spent together, all the moments they shared. Tears began to well up in his eyes, blurring his vision. He tried to hold them back, but they spilled over, one after the other. His hands shook, and he felt completely lost, unable to do anything but let the tears fall.

Unable to hide his own weakness, he covers his own face with the pair of his palms, breaking down on the spot as his knees feel weaker than ever. Why should you cry over someone who once broke your heart, someone who left you in the middle of the ocean with no shore at all yet? Till today, he was crawling back, begging for forgiveness, swearing he'd never done it ever again.

Isn't that two times more painful than before? Should you accept him back or not? Or are you scared of getting stabbed again? His heart sank as M/N started crying. Seeing him so broken made Jay's chest tighten with guilt and sadness. Jay can't contain himself to stand while watching you in this state; he was the one who caused this after all.

Unexpectedly, you were surprised to see him wrap his hand around you before pulling you into a tight hug. Listening to your sobbing was enough for him to bury himself alive in the graveyard. He wanted to wash all his sins away for having wounded you; if he could go back in time, he'd sacrifice anything just to keep you close

once again.

"Let's rewrite our story hm ? I'll be a better man from now on. I promise there'll be fewer tears in your eyes, pretty. I'll love you till the day that i die " 

🗣️ Reblog and like is much appreciated ♥

🗣️ please mind my English! ><

🗣️ dividers: Thecutestgrotto and crd to all the pic owner..

Thanks for this pookie 😽❤️ IWALY!!!!

[queenimmadolla]

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You surprise Eddie with your baby's first trick-or-treat costume. Spoiler alert: she's adorable.

a/n: for maisie 🩷

more penny and Eddie here

“I’m waitiiiiiiiiing.” Eddie sang out from the couch, tugging at the neck of the cream colored turtleneck you’d guilted him into wearing. It wasn’t as bad as the sweater he had to wear with it. Truly the ugliest thing he had ever seen. 

  It was so ugly, it offended him and he was a little grumpy about it, which you teased was appropriate considering he was supposed to be dressed as Bert from Sesame Street. 

  Yeah. Sesame Street. 

  The (totally) gay puppets.

“You’ll have to get close.” Eddie had threatened when you pulled out eyeliner, not to line his eyes like you did before one of his shows or a date night, but to link his brows together in the most unrealistic looking unibrow ever. 

  Once upon a time, up until like two Halloweens ago, Eddie had used this day to be completely and thoroughly chaotic. Messy. Well, as messy as the social pariah could be on Halloween. So just really drunk, maybe high—sometimes both—making out with someone who wouldn’t acknowledge his existence the following day (and he was very grateful for you for breaking the curse on that last carefree Halloween). But that was the old Eddie Munson.

  Gone was the Eddie Munson that either went all out–in leather, eyeliner and fake blood–or barely tried with some devil horns and a bad sense of humor for halloween to deal weed and drugs, smoke weed and drink til he threw up, or get fucked. Granted, he wasn’t going through this change alone. 

  Your opportunities to party on Halloween night with your friends–having all gotten ready together for the big, slutty night out–drinking ‘til you were stupid only to wake up on your bedroom floor (sometimes not even yours and on one year, the top of your neighbor’s car) with no real repercussions were no more.

  Your days as primarily careless teenagers and now young adult were over, replaced with enjoying the night in a way you were both surprised to find that you didn’t hate, even as early twentysomethings. 

  Hell, the both of you were eager–even if Eddie had to wear a lame costume. He’d wanted to be Ernie, at least.

  “Shut up!” You called back from the bedroom. Eddie snickered at the amusement hidden under your voice and shifted until he was lounging on his side, arm propped up with his hand.

  “Still waitiiiiiiiing!”

  You’d been hiding a certain costume from him for the past three weeks, and the anticipation was killing him.

  “You are the most impatient man I have ever met.” 

  “I just gotta have you, baby.” Came his immediate response and his grin widened when he realized he didn’t even have to think up replies for your quips, it just came natural now. He knew you that well. Still made him giddy and want to kick his feet in the air.

  He loved being married to you. Sue him.

  “Okay, here we come!” You announced and Eddie scrambled to sit up straight, eagerly leaning forward to get an early peak. 

  You walked down the short hall, dressed in a striped sweatshirt, jeans with the bottoms rolled into cuffs and a pair of red converse. Ernie. But Eddie already knew what your costume was, it was a couple’s costume and you were indeed a couple. 

  It was who you were glancing back at, just out of his line of sight, that held his curiosity. 

  “C’mon, baby. Go show daddy!”

  At your prompting, your baby–just a couple of months over a year old–came waddling out, footsteps awkward as she got used to the orange duck feet covering her own and the padding and stuffing of her yellow duck costume, clutching a bottle you’d given her to keep her from fussing while you got her dressed. Her curly little head and chunky cheeks were framed in the hood of the costume, with the duck’s  head resting on hers.

  “Are you kidding me?” Eddie asked, mouth dropping open as his eyes darted from his cute little spawn in her adorable costume to your smug expression and back, “Are you joking? OH MY GOD!”

  Eddie reached his arms out to Penny, fingers curling into his fists as he made grabby hands, “You are so precious, my little baby, come to daddy!”

  Penny was delighted with his praise, drooly mouth dropping open and big brown eyes sparkling as she rushed forward. Her lack of coordinated motor skills paired with the duck feet and the padding of her duck bottom throwing her equilibrium off meant she immediately lost her balance and you and Eddie both inhaled sharply, quickly rising to attention as she wobbled forward briefly, then fell back on her cushioned tail feathers.

  It was far from a dangerous fall, so you and Eddie stood frozen, waiting for her response so as to not sway her to have a certain response, having taken her to the doctor’s after a fall once only to learn she was perfectly fine and had only started crying because you had. 

  You both learned real quick to wait for her response after falling, sometimes she cried and had a boo boo that Daddy and Mommy could fix with some first aid and a kiss, and other times she'd run right into the wall, get up, and walk away (albeit while muttering in angry baby gibberish).

  Penny blinked once, eyes flying from your face to her dad’s before she wiggled her bum against the floor, set her bottle down next to her and tried to stand up. 

  You both let out matching sighs of relief before Eddie darted forward to scoop her up.

  “Are you rubber ducky?” Eddie asked once he had her situated in his arms. All she did was give him that big, beautiful smile of hers (no longer gummy with the teeth she had coming in but thinking about that made Eddie teary eyed) before her attention strayed to his long curls and her chunky little fist flew out to grab some of it, staring it down before she put it in her mouth.

  “Say, yes, baby.” You encouraged her after picking up her bottle, hand tucking in one of her curls peaking out.

  “Yesh.” She parroted, mouthing aggressively at the hair in her fist. While she was distracted, Eddie took the opportunity to press kisses into her cheek, smothering her in them until she grew annoyed and snapped her head in his direction, mouth wide in protest.

  “Sor-ry!” He huffed, still grinning as he pressed another one into her soft cheek. She was all talk  and no bite. Mostly.

  “What does the duck say, baby?” You asked, trying to prompt her. She could do some of the animal sounds and she’d gotten the duck right a few times.

  “Moooo.” And sometimes she moo’d.

  “That is one interesting duck.” Eddie commented and you shushed him.

  “No, baby. Quack.”

  “Cack.”

  Your heart dropped into your stomach. “Okay, that’s a little too close to–we’ll stick with moo.”

  You grabbed her trick-or-treat bag, a disposable camera and a couple of other things you thought you might need to take her trick-or-treating for the first time, while Eddie continued to coddle her, only putting her down when you were all ready to go. 

  Penny was little miss independent until she caught sight of the steps outside of the trailer. Then she whimpered, dropped her bottle and turned to Eddie, shoving herself at his legs as she reached her little arms up to him.

  “Up! UP! Up!”

  It was mean of him, really it was, because Penny was genuinely afraid of the steps but that also meant she demanded her daddy hold her in his arms, and that wasn’t really a loss for him so he hoped she’d hang onto that fear for a while before she got inventive and found another way to climb down them without him.

  Eddie picked her up and she curled into his chest, chin on his shoulder as she clung to him with the duck head on her hood hitting the side of his face. He was trying to hide his smile but it was much too large to conceal and you glared at him with no malice, more amused with Eddie than anything.

  “It’s okay, sweetpea. Daddy will protect you from those big, mean steps.”

  He cackled as you shook your head with a smile. 

  “You are so messed up, capitalizing off of her fear.”

  “Hey–it’s easy for you, she still demands and needs your boob. Did you see her refuse my kisses in there? I’m fighting for her affection here. And I’m gonna keep doing it, as soon as she gets over her fear of steps, I’m telling her a monster lives underneath them. Now, let's go get some candy I’ll also eat on her behalf.”

  He bounded cheerfully out the door, Penny bouncing in his arms while you locked up behind him and called out in your laughter.

  “And using your baby for candy–oh, you’ve got to choke tonight. I’ll save you, but you’ve got to choke.”

  Eddie paused, waiting for you to catch up as his lips curled into smirk in a very Grinch like manner and you groaned, eyes squeezing shut as you realized what he was implying without having to verbalize it. 

  “I mean, I’d be happy to arrange that–”

  “Keep walking, Bert. We only have an hour and a half so we’d better get a move on if you want a decent amount of candy to steal from your own baby.”

  “I’m not above taking candy from any baby.” He confirmed leaning down just as you leaned up to meet in a kiss, the both of you smiling into it. It was brief, ending when Penny accidentally pecked the both of you with the head of her costume.

[honorthysalad]

I'd like to take this moment to congratulate yoshiki on all his hard work dismantling the stereotype that gays dress well by consistently wearing the ugliest shirt known to man with zero irony in his decision. truly a hero of the people.

[tinyapplejuice]

CHESTER DATING

HEADCANONS

✧.*

•Chester definitely pranks you every day. I think it’s a fact for everyone! If you hate it, well you have to suck it up, alright!!! Because he will never ever, ever, ever change! He would and will poke fun at you around until you finally snap and despite that, he finds it funny (Unless he’s going to be in danger)! He is naturally chaotic and an extremely annoying person so while he may be laughing at you as you have been pied in the face, you know deep inside that’s how he shows affection!

•And you also know how he also shows affection? Gift giving! But don’t expect the best gifts from him. I swear half of his gifts would be pranks disguised as presents or if it isn't, inside would be some of the ugliest and silliest stuff. So it would be best if you had a low expectation of him…But there was also this one time when he surprisingly gave you a really nice gift…. Hey, maybe once in a while he will prepare you something nice! 

•Yes, I know, I am talking a LOT about pranks as his way of affection because it truly is. I feel like he struggles to show affection with the usual five love languages. He’s not the type of person to use words of affirmation or acts of service. Sure, he could do physical touch and such, but it doesn’t feel right. I think he jokes around too much that it just became the norm on how he shows his care for you now.

•His laugh is contagious, once in a while he would get a laugh out of you because of how silly he sounded! However, if you’re not the type of person to laugh easily, you would either be weirded out by him or give a small smile to him.

•OOH, okay so what I like to think whenever he gets flustered is that he would literally have different reactions to it. He’s like a wild card. Sometimes he can act a bit fruity, or he would act in a joking way where he would replicate like those ladies who get complimented and say, “Oh stop! You’re making me blush” as they do those hand movements, or maybe he would turn his head away from your direction and laugh it off. It’s all random! But if he’s ever truly flustered, I feel like he would hide his face under his hat as he grabs the ends of it, stammering random words, and his face will turn slightly pink!  He would probably be too shocked to process it! But that is like when he’s really REALLY dazed, and you have to be both strategic and lucky to get this special reaction since this guy is a trickster and he won’t let you get him that easily!

•Psst!! Here’s a little secret I can tell you… Chester will literally melt if you give him a nice, o’l pretty smile. He loves it so so much! You can see his face turning lovey-dovey for a split second! 

•Something similar to that, I feel like he loves to look at your face because he adores your reaction to whatever he does! He just lives for it, he’s always so giggly whenever you’re shocked, angry, or laughing! Chester would always say something along the lines like, “You should have seen the look on your face!” or “You were so silly when you did that!” I think that he’s someone who loves to see the reactions of people after he does something especially if it’s his loved one. Bonus points if you’re really expressive with your face. He will adore it!

•He follows you and is with you 24/7, not because he’s clingy, but probably because he’s plotting some sort of prank. 

•I could imagine him being such a hyper man, every time you stop into the candy store, he’s always bouncing everywhere. He’s like an animated character! It’s hard to keep track of him because of how chaotic he is?! Plus, the fact that he can hype up the room so easily just makes it worse for you (but better for him)!

•He’s definitely both flexible and acrobatic. I mean how else does he dodge Mandy’s shots? He’s probably agile too. Well, I like to think that sometimes he can shock or surprise you with a trick if not, an easy way to escape from you whenever you’re mad at him.

• If the Brawl Stars universe ever had an April Fool's Day, you have to be prepared to face literal WAR. Chester will literally prank you all day. Like oh, you opened the door? Splat! You got slime on your body! You were talking to your friends? Oh, they’re not your actual friends! They are just balloons filled with confetti that explode right at your face! Do you want to eat because you're hungry? Well too bad, it’s actually a piece of concrete that he disguised as a yummy treat! You for real can’t trust anyone or anything. You should both fear and dread this day when it’s coming up on your calendars. He WILL prepare the best, or in your case, the worst April Fool's Day ever.

•He would let you taste the candies he and Mandy are making. Sometimes it’s one of the best, gosh darn candies in the world holy moly?! Who knew that they could make candies taste so angelic? Well, it’s either that or they can explode you! Chester teases that he will never ever do that but he seems like the type of person to do it. So please take caution when he feeds you a sample of it.

•I like to believe he is a good candy maker (baker) and an artist. I have no idea how I came up with this but he gives me vibes that he will use those skills for both helping the candy store and his troublesome pranks.

•His hair definitely deflates whenever he’s sad like you could even see it just going down and being flat. Sometimes you even feel guilty because of how sorrowful he looks! His mood greatly affects the atmosphere of whatever room he’s in and if he’s feeling miserable then the room would be in a somewhat unpleasant situation.

•Occasionally he talks about social media. I enjoy thinking that he will literally look in a certain direction, break the fourth wall, and he will say his usual voice lines like “Mom! I’m on TV,” or whatever for funsies.

•Mandy either loves you or hates you, though not as much as she hates Chester. It honestly depends on your personality. If you’re someone who’s silly and mischievous that joins in with Chester’s shenanigans. She will dislike you similar to her opinion of Chester but if you’re more of someone who’s serious and oftentimes the victim of his jokes. She will feel sympathy for you and will tend to have a more fondness for you.

•Berry’s opinion towards you goes the same way but no matter what, he will accept you and will care for you. He had already considered you as part of his family as soon as Chester had introduced you to him.

•Chester’s definitely the type of person to enjoy pranking people but he’s not the one who enjoys being pranked. He will be super pouty about it for like at least a week. He’ll complain that he was the one who was supposed to be that since he’s the literal jester. But can’t everyone else have some fun too?

•Sometimes he does go too far with pranks, and he doesn’t even realize it all. He’s too busy laughing but once he notices your hurt expression whether it be an angry or crying face, it doesn’t matter if it’s to the point where he knows he messed up so badly. Let me tell you, he will be extremely guilty about it. 

•And if you’re injured, oh that’s the final straw. He will panic so badly. His hair deflates, he starts to sweat, maybe tearing up a bit, and just overall anxious. He can’t help it, seeing his lover hurt because of him which wasn’t even his intention in the first place. It just makes him so sad. He will apologize so badly, saying sorry for a whole while and I feel like he would lose some of his silly spark to the point where his boss and co-workers notice.

•He’s very good at mimicking people, surprisingly. He might as well be the next mime in Brawl Stars because of it! I feel like he could match people’s enthusiasm, their actions, and overall demeanor to the point he will use it to mock you. In a teasing way of course! I could just imagine him using a very high-pitched, baby voice to repeat what you said or exaggerate his movements whenever you do something. He finds it funny.

•He’s great at both starting fights and extinguishing them. I feel like he could be very sly with his words to turn a heated-up situation into a more fun one. You could say he’s even charming!

•However, if it doesn’t work and if it leads to you guys arguing or fighting, he’s actually a mature person. He’s very sincere with it and if it’s his fault, he’ll be ready to apologize. Hey just because he’s a clown doesn't mean it makes up his whole personality. Remember pranking is a way to show his affection, he’s not going to make being silly his “whole personality.”

•But I do like to believe he’s someone who doesn’t take most things seriously and oftentimes ignores the obvious warning signs that are wavering around him and that’s how he starts a lot of conflict in the first place.

•He’s very overdramatic, he’s great at acting too which makes it worse for you and better for him. He will use that card to attract attention so he can escape trouble or see you flustered. He will use every one of his cards so he can have an advantage!

•Overall he is a fun but extremely frustrating partner to have! 

Why was Chester both easy and hard to do. I feel proud on some headcanons but I also feel like some others could have been done better. But I hope you guys enjoy and have a good day!!

[xxresi-rotxx]

Harsher ending- pt 2

I did not get a chance to proof read this as I realized the weekend is ending in one hour 😭 I wanted to write the whole thing in one go but had a rough day and this was all I could muster posting ❤️

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ever since Leon's little outburst, you were barely keeping it together. There were so many emotions swirling around your head it was hard to make sense of them. However, the most recent emotion was anger and it lingered with you longer than the rest.

Who the fuck made Leon Kennedy so high and mighty?

You were sure you were giving Leon the ugliest of looks everytime we glanced back at you & Luis.

Him and Ashley were walking about 10 feet ahead of you and Luis, and he kept glancing back at you every five minutes.

Was he truly that convinced you couldn't handle yourself?

It wasn't until Luis said your name for a second time that you realized you had zoned out again.

"He really got under your skin, eh Señorita?"

You finally tore your eyes away from Leon long enough to glance at the man next you, who was grinning like the Chesire cat.

"I just don't understand-"

"What gives him the right. I know, I know mi amor we've been over this." Luis finished for you.

You felt kind of bad, realizing you had been bothering Luis with it for the past hour. You turned your attention on your feet now; watching them as they trudged through the mud.

"I think he's just concerned for you mi amor." Luis nudged his shoulder into yours, easing the tension.

"Yeah, well he has a funny way of showing it if that's the case."

Luis had been calling you 'Mi Amor' ever since you saved his life, and honestly? You didn't mind it.

"The way I see it," Luis began, "he's kind of like a calabaza."

You just stared at Luis, waiting for him to continue.

"I don't remember my high school Spanish Luis." You teased when you realized he wasn't going to elaborate.

"A calabaza is a pumpkin mi amor."

A pumpkin?

"You lost me Luis."

Luis rolled his eyes at you, scoffing a little to emphasize what a hassle it was for to him to explain it to you.

"Hard skin, soft inside."

You let out a harsh laugh but quickly covered your mouth. You were sure Luis was trying to make a point, but it sounded ridiculous to you.

"Kind of nasty Luis." You nudged him with your shoulder this time.

"You get the point Señorita."

Was Leon genuinely concerned for you? Ever the optimist, you wanted so badly to believe Luis, but you just...didn't.

You'd been gripping the pistol Leon shoved at you so hard your knuckles were turning white. Almost as if you were trying to take your anger out on the gun.

Meanwhile, Leon hadn't stopped dwelling on the interaction ever since it happened. Replaying it over and over in his mind. He couldn't help but keep glancing back at you.

You hadn't said a single word to him in almost a day, avoiding him at all costs; and that bothered him.

The sooner he was out of his hellscape, the sooner he could actually speak to you without fear of your impending death, the better.

Every now and then he would hear Luis call you his love and it irritated the hell out of him. It irritated him just as much that you went along with it.

"MI AMOR," Luis's shouts had Leon turning on a dime, "WAIT!"

He turned just in time to see Luis run off the muddy path and straight towards your sprinting figure.

"Ashley." Leon said locking eyes with the blonde.

She understood immediately, moving to hide out of sight as Leon took off.

Why the fuck would you run away?

Leon caught up to Luis in a matter of minutes. You, however, were no where in sight.

"What the fuck happened Luis?!" Leon bit out, unstrapping his knife from its sheath.

"Are you infected?" Luis asked you, panic in his voice.

"No." Leon answered, the gears already turning in his head. "Y/n?" he asked.

"I saw the veins." Luis responded, out of breath. "My old lab could remove the parasite from her though, she didn't have to run."

"Go back and watch over Ashley, I'll find Y/n."

The tone of Leon's voice told Luis there would be no arguing this, so he did as he was told.

Leon wasn't sure whether he was more concerned for your health right now or pissed that you thought running was the best option.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Smut in part 3😘

[munson-blurbs]

Hurt People

This is just me giving an accurate depiction of what would most likely happen if Eddie Munson was real and went to high school with me. I’m sad tonight.

Warnings: hurt/no comfort, angst, insults, bullying

WC: 718

—

You don’t know how you didn’t see it coming. Maybe it’s because he’s Eddie, the boy—young man, really—thrust into the fringes of society because of his affinity for metal music and fantasy games. Maybe it’s because you’d assumed outcasts, loners, losers, looked out for one another. Or maybe you were just delusional, rose-colored glasses shielding you from what you couldn’t, wouldn’t see.

You and Eddie don’t have any classes together, with you electing to take honors classes and him struggling with introductory courses. You’d never judged him for it, never thought less of him because of it; some people’s talents lay outside of academia. Rumor has it that he’s a decent guitar player, though your parents’ strict rules forbid you from checking out a gig. Truly, you don’t know much about him except that he’s on his third round of senior year and, in your opinion, is the cutest guy at Hawkins High.

The opportunity to befriend him presents itself in the unassuming form of Honor Society volunteer hours. Mrs. O’Donnell needs someone to tutor Eddie in chemistry so she can get him the hell out of her class, and you eagerly offer to be his teacher. Quiet afternoons together in the library might lead to secrets whispered, kisses shared…

The first tutoring session is…fine. Eddie’s completely disinterested in the material, which is to be expected. You keep drawing his attention back to the lab report he’s supposed to be writing, trying to maintain your composure as your patience wears thin.

When he’s barely accomplished anything at the end of the hour, you tell him to meet you back in the study room tomorrow after school.

“You need to hand this in on time,” you say softly but firmly. “Don’t wanna lose points for late work.”

He grumbles as he grabs his tin lunchbox and carelessly shoves the lab report into his backpack, not even saying goodbye.

The next day, you muster up the courage to approach his lunch table. You’ve got your old chemistry study guides clenched in your fists; the idea is to offer them to him so he doesn’t have to reference his own scribbled notes for his upcoming quiz. Just a casual, “hey, I figured you could use these.” Yeah, that could work.

You’re ten feet away when you hear his boisterous laugh. “Oh, and get this,” he’s saying to his friends, “she wants me to study again with her today! Like yesterday wasn’t bad enough.”

“Dude,” one of his buddies chuckles, sympathetically shaking his head and clapping his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, “it’s just your luck that the one girl crushing on you happens to be the ugliest girl in the school.”

Your blood runs cold, nerves buzzing in anticipation of Eddie’s response. Surely he’ll tell the guy that he’s gone too far, that poking fun at your appearance is uncalled for.

But Eddie just gives him the finger and replies, “tell me about it. And now I gotta sit there while she makes heart-eyes at me, unless I wanna face O’Donnell’s wrath. Again.”

Tell me about it. Tell me about it. Tell me about it.

There’s no defending you, no sense of irritation with his friend’s statement. It’s pure, unfiltered agreement.

You’re the ugliest girl in school, and even Eddie Munson thinks so.

Tears blur your vision as you make a beeline out of the cafeteria, dumping your papers in the nearest trash can. You’re sorry you wasted your precious time digging them up. Humiliation seeps into your skin. It doesn’t matter if no one else heard him, because you did. And the information isn’t novel to you—you’re not Chrissy Cunningham or Nancy Wheeler, not by a longshot. No, you’re embarrassed because you’d deluded yourself into thinking that Eddie could see you in a way that others didn’t, in a way that you simply couldn’t.

A large part of you hoped that Eddie would see your status as a fellow freak and applaud you for it, welcome you into his group, take you under his wing. That seems like a pipe dream now.

It’s like that old cliche: hurt people hurt people. Maybe if you were bravier—bitchier, even—you’d hurt him back. But for now, you’re too tired from dragging around the burden of your existence.

Hurt will have to wait another day.

—

[notes-from-the-epicene]

"I don't owe you androgyny"

I’m not sure how many times I’ve heard this rallying cry repeated in the non-binary community now. The idea that us enbies are people that are not simply the Harry-Styles-in-the-ugliest-outfit-you-can-possibly-imagine stereotype of a mix between femininity and masculinity is analogous to the core struggle genderqueer people face daily against the traditional western gender binary; “we get to choose who we are – not you”. With that in mind, I want to discuss my experience as an AMAB enby – specifically one who “presents masculine”.

When I first came out as an enby, I received the standard shit from people. Some insidious, some overt - for every “You’re just a man in denial” and “You just want to invade women’s spaces”, I also had a “I’ve always thought of you as a man, though…” or a “You’re just a trans women waiting to realise who she is”. There was a big issue with where these comments, however - they weren’t just coming from your regular uneducated bigots.

They were coming from other enbies.

Let me talk about my identity for a moment. I see myself as outside of gender as a construct. Androgyny? Femininity? Masculinity? They mean nothing to me. I am me. That is my identity. That is who I want to be seen as, and no less. Am I masculine? Apparently. I dress practically the same now as I did before I came out: for utility. Sure, I like to look attractive, but first and foremost I dress for my own comfort – to use the word that people refer to me as, “masculine”. T-shirt. Jeans. Boots.

I also have my bra. A ratty old thing, it stops my breasts from poking out too much or moving in an uncomfortable way. I have a disorder that causes AIS, which means my body doesn’t process testosterone properly, leading to androgynous sexual characteristics - breasts, no body hair, no facial hair, softer skin, that sort of thing. My disorder is pretty metaphorical for my experience of gender; I’ve never fitted neatly into any category. As a kid, I played as much in a “feminine” way as a did a “masculine” way, much to the chagrin of my parents. When I had been properly house-broken to the traditional rules of gender, I was a mess. Your classic mid-teens “alpha male” wannabe. I couldn’t mediate my body, my personality, my experiences with what everyone else told me was how I was supposed to be; to put it another way, who I was against how people told me I had to be.

I didn’t owe them masculinity, but by god did I feel like I did.

This isn’t a feeling that’s gone away since I realised who and what I truly am; it’s morphed. I know the classic narrative of queerdom is solidarity, empathy, and resistance in the face of oppression, but my reality has been dog-eat-dog world of exclusion, infighting, distrust, and derision.

I don’t owe anyone androgyny, but by god do I feel like I need to.

Why do I feel that need? My identity is defined by rejection of gender. I don’t fit into a category – sex or gender. If I were staying true to myself (#Slay) I’d feel no need to change my gender presentation for the public eye. I should be me – no less. However, gender is a social construction. We in the genderqueer community have taken that idea to a logical conclusion: we have the ability to define ourselves - nobody else. We have absolute sovereignty over our own identities. Gender is still, however, a social construction. The words “Masculine”, “Feminine”, “Androgynous” – they mean nothing to me internally, in the domain of myself, but socially? They apply. My presentation is how I am judged; literally, how I present to people. The social qualities that these categorisations hold is how the majority of people get their first impressions of me, how they interpret my actions, my words, my ideas.

A lot of people are scared of masculinity, and for good reason, too. Patriarchy, intersexual violence, sexual assault, the list goes on and on and on. I wouldn’t dare invalidate their experiences for any amount of personal validation of my own identity - but that’s not to say those reactions don’t invalidate my identity. In my experience, presenting how I do – a “masculine” AMAB enby – is an incredibly fine line in the genderqueer community. At one moment, I am the genderless entity I want to be perceived as. I am me - my personality, my actions, my good and bad qualities. The next moment, I am a man. Frightening, unempathetic, a bull in the china shop of other people’s fears and traumas – a danger to be managed and accounted for.

My experience of gender is a constant battle. Even in the realm of those who do not normally view me as masculine, all it takes is a single mistake to trigger the view. I monitor what I say, how I act, what I do in order to maintain the social view that I am me  – not a man. In my experience, my  assigned sex and gender matter just as much in genderqueer spaces as they do in the outside world. I have to perform to expectations, partake in the gendered masquerade for acceptance.

I am not a man, nor a male – I rejected the former, and the latter is a rough categorisation for me at best. I can’t trade my presentation for the comfort of others; to do so feels like an injustice, a betrayal of myself and the goals of the genderqueer movement, yet I can’t expect others’ comfort when I present how I do. To do so would be an injustice to them, a denial of their own experiences. Is that reaction justified? I feel like I’m not allowed to answer to that – to (ironically) paraphrase Simone de Beauvoir, I feel as though I am both judge and party to this issue.

To summarise this long rant, the genderqueer community has a question to face. Yes, genders are social constructions, but the social aspects of presentation cause intersectional issues we are seemingly struggling with. When considering justice for our masculine siblings, where do we draw the lines of our discourse? How involved should they be in these discussions? Do we take our ideals to their conclusion, involving them and letting them individuate themselves away from their presentation, or do we hold strongly in consideration for the anxieties and traumas of those affected by patriarchy? I would hope there is a third answer here – one that my privileges might not allow me to see, but I hope that in this writing I can convince you, the reader, to consider your own feelings about this issue.