#truly cannot tell you how humbling that is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

argetcross · 1 month ago

Text

Happy 4th anniversary to wasting beats of this heart of mine, my Zagreus becomes mortal AU! Another year, some more adventures undertaken.

This year, I've unearthed more concepts and half-finished paintings all the way from 2021. I've included notes under the cut about each piece, as well as more reflections.

If you told me in October 2020 that you'll write a fic over 100k words long, spanning multiple cities, with multiple POVs, I would have said, "Are you sure?". I think I never really imagined I could keep a story running, much less one that demands so much of its author. At the same time, this work has been my deepest and most fulfilling pleasure. It lives in my dreams, haunts my waking moments, and demands I regularly carve my heart out and poke through the viscera. I suppose such is the nature of art.

We've been approaching the end of Part III, and readers up-to-date know I've mentioned planning for five parts in total. Five acts, five biomes: it only feels fitting. Many things I had looked forward to (the chariot race! Kyane and Persephone! The return of Thymoetes!) have come to life on the page, but there's still so much of the yarn left to spin. I never expected needing years to complete this story, but I also feel strongly I am beholden to it now. To Zagreus, to Demeter's children, to the mortals and gods, above and below. I will continue to try my best.

Thank you to jules, val, nan, robin, and spleen for having beta'd for me during these years. This story wouldn't be what it is without you. Thank you to mag, for having crawled through the trenches of creating an enormous fanwork and countless hours of spreadsheeting, with me. To every artist that has ever drawn me anything, it is truly humbling to be able to inspire your work. To the House Party, whose friendship I am grateful for every day.

And to anyone who has ever read part of the story, left a comment, and stepped along on this journey with me, I cannot overstate how grateful I am. I remain baffled and pleasantly surprised that this world of mine can touch your heart. It's a story that I hope, when it completes, you will pick up again from time to time, and take pleasure in its telling once more.

With all my love,

Arget

Notes about each image:

Thanatos and Zagreus by the sacred olive trees of Athena. This painting was based on a photo I took in Athens. The quality of the sunlight astounded me and, in turn, made me think about life and death.

Thanatos anointing the body of the god Zagreus with nectar. This is related to the scene in Chapter 23, when he and Nyx converse by Zagreus' bedside.

Eleusis concepts. For such a powerhouse of a cult, Eleusis itself has a provincial feeling to it. I was captivated by the idea of the sea, and the fact that Zagreus had never spent any time on the coast. This would have been his first experience with it.

Athens. What can I say about Athens that hasn't been said? The trip I took late 2022 provided a lot of the inspiration for the citadel aspect of the acropolis. This is not the Athens of Classical Greece, the polis of democracy, but a fictionalized city-kingdom, under the rule of its royal family. The idea that Callisto had a student living in Athens was both a nod to the extensive trade happening during the Bronze Age and a deconstruction of the Amazon myth that the Greeks told themselves.

Clymene, the Oracle of Delphi. This was originally meant to be a Hades game-like portrait, but I scrapped the idea. She is dressed in the fashion closer to the Minoans, to give her a more Bronze Age feeling. As the head priestess, I wanted to show her age.

Apheidas and Thymoetes sketches. The two brothers are supposed to look night and day from each other. I tried to give Apheidas a pleasant sort of face, in comparison to Thymoetes' haughtiness.

The tapestry sketch. This was one of the first drawings I ever made about wasting beats, in an attempt to understand the type of story I was about to write. Key elements had already been decided, such as the chariot race and the way Demeter and Hades would play the role of the absent gods, for above as well as below. I had not written Apollo at this time, so you see him here with short hair.

Zagreus, reaching for a bloodstone. The chlamys, a gift from his foster-father's wife, has been the simple denotation of mortal Zagreus. Something bright and red, simple for it was woven by a farmer's wife, and barely able to protect his weaker mortal body.

Megaera, hurt and angry, and Than, stricken and alarmed, amidst a storm of paper. This is a scene from Chapter 18, Primordial Winter, that I had always wanted to illustrate.

#hades game #zagreus #thanatos #thanzag #zagthan #wasting beats of this heart of mine #my fic #my art #callisto #megaera #zagreus becomes mortal au #happy anniversary my beloved fic

146 notes · View notes

lidiasloca · 2 months ago

Note

cassian x reader, she touches his arms and his chest and says wow have you been working out extra, you feel much bigger now, suggestive pls, literally would boost his ego through the roof

cheering up cassian with teasing

cassian x reader

fluff

a/n: pls send requests!

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄☆

“What? What is it?” you ask Rhys, alarmed. Azriel had quickly come to your room, saying the High Lord had an important mission for you—related to Cassian.

“Well,” he starts, and you know him enough to read the little smirk he gives to Az, who’s waiting next to you in the training room. “We need you.”

“What for? Is Cassian alright?” You hope they don’t look too deeply into the care you have grown to have for the male.

“Yes. And no,” Rhys replies, which makes your brows furrow.

“Can you tell me already what’s going on?”

To your surprise, Rhys lets out a contained laugh. He tries to hide it with his hand, excusing himself, but he can’t help laughing again when Azriel tries to cover a chuckle himself.

“What—”

“Sorry,” he says, and Azriel nods as they continue laughing.

“Guys! For fuck’s sake—is Cassian okay?”

“Alright. Alright,” Rhys says, trying to calm himself. “The thing is, Y/N, today we had, as you may know, the snowball fight. And—well…” He can’t help a giggle before continuing. “He had been preparing himself for so long…but he lost.”

It seems that your confused face only makes the Illyrians laugh again. “Stop laughing. Is that why I am here? To tell me he has lost that stupid game?”

“No. Well, yes, sort of. The point is, Cassian is totally devastated right now. He won’t even talk to us. And though we don’t blame him - we cannot come close to him without laughing - we still don’t want him to be sad about it.”

“You are such good brothers,” you mock.

“Hey. We are good brothers. This tantrum of his will be gone tomorrow morning with some fighting. But…” he says, a cocky grin growing on his face. A grin that only means mischief.

“But what?” you ask, irritated.

Rhys glances at Azriel, urging him to explain.

“Well, we thought we could do you a good. You can go to Cassian, because you are the only one he’ll listen to, and make him happy,” he says with a grin.

“What?!” you bark, outraged.

“Not that kind of happy, darling,” Rhysand remarks. “You just talk him out of his tantrum, and he will grow even fonder of you. Thanks to us—you are welcome.”

So they were playing Cupid. Great.

But before you could deny them and point out how stupid their idea was, you wondered—is it really that bad of an idea?

As if on cue, Cassian walked into the training ring in front of you. He was so sad, shoulders down and slow steps. Maybe it was a great idea.

“Alright,” is all you tell them as you start walking towards the male, who doesn’t seem to notice you until you sit next to where he’s seated.

“Hi, Cass,” you say tenderly.

He doesn’t even look at you.

You only have his back to look at. And his neck. And his arms. “You have truly been working out, have you?”

At that, he turns to you. You see the surprise on his face. Poking his arm, you continue, “Don’t be humble about it.”

At last, a small smile blooms on his face. “I always work out.”

“Yes. But you never have arms this big.”

Your words cause the effect intended. His smile grows, and his eyes turn more like him—flirtatious and playful. “Yes, I do. The thing is you’re never this close to admire them properly.”

“Oh yes. That’s more like you.”

He bursts out laughing, and the sound is so contagious you start giggling yourself.

“You know,” he starts, “I would have assumed you were saying this just to hype me up. But I truly have been working out a lot lately. So I guess your words are true.”

You answer with a smirk, not wanting to lie to him—or confess yourself.

“Don’t look at me like that. I know your words can deceive. But your eyes tell me the truth,” he says.

“Do they?” you question in defiance.

“Yes. And they are always glued to my biceps.”

You really cannot fight a battle against Cassian’s accusation and his pinning stare. So you just rise and walk away as nonchalantly as you can.

His arrogant smile falters only a bit when you stop your walk and turn to him. “I wonder how you are able to see where my eyes are so often when yours are always glued somewhere else from my face.”

Second defeat for Cassian today.

-Characters by Sarah J Maas

CASSIAN MASTERLIST

129 notes · View notes

biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer · 6 months ago

Note

Can you write how Geo would deal with a mc that is always sick? (Totally not cause I'm sick too)

My Remedy for your Malady. (All x Sick! MC/Reader)

Anon. First and foremost, I made you wait 5 1/2 days. I am truly, wholly sorry for this *humbly bows*. (▰︶︹︺▰)

Secondly, I decided that I'm gonna do this for all 7 of our characters, because Jess, Brit and Deryl deserve more attention. I hope you may forgive me for my lateness, and enjoy this fic nonetheless (btw get well soon if you're not already <33).

Also I know that Jess especially is shorter (literally teehee) than the others, but I'm gonna get the hang of her eventually. Same with Deryl. >:]

ALSO, you're in an established relationship with them, so that's why they have (very legal) access to your residence!

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Remedy: a medicine or treatment for a disease or injury.

Malady: a disease or ailment.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Geo was concerned when he found out you were ill.

When you didn't show up to school for the last few days, he texted you to find out why; to which you bluntly told him you felt like utter shit.

He doesn't pick up on the fact you're sick until you straight-up tell him.

Depending on what type of sick you are, he'll get the appropriate medicines/remedies and speed his way towards your home, hell, he might even skip archery, and he *never* skips archery.

Would rock up with food he knows shouldn't cause any problems or nausea for you and will probably make soup.

And you better fucking eat it.

He will feed it to you (reluctantly, but if you seriously can't do it yourself, then he'll manage).

Will ask you how the hell you fell ill anyway, and depending on your answer, he'll be either: Pissed (if you caught it from someone else), Or exasperated (if you stopped taking care of yourself or didn't equip yourself well enough to deal with the weather).

Will take care of you either way.

Will read to you in Japanese to help you sleep.

Will try to not lie near you if possible, unless absolutely needed. He does not plan on catching shit.

Will remain at your residence until you recover; unless he has classes that are either critically important and/or ones you're also in.

Will lend you his notes.

Will also take them back after a few days.

Will also just probably talk to you while you're bedridden, unless you cannot, in which case he'll simply watch you sleep, occasionally stroking your head and hair to try and comfort you.

He's trying his best, okay?

Sol will freak when he finds out you're sick.

Doesn't care what he's got on next, he's gonna go take care of you.

Will probably feel bad for not telling Hyugo anything about suddenly vanishing

, but he'll understand right?

Will spawn outside your home with: - Medicine, - Your favourite comfort food (if you can eat it without the fear of vomiting), - Probably will bring poetry and art with him, so you both have something to do (that's not him) when you're bedridden.

Will try and hold you if possible, doesn't mind if he gets your blessed germs on him.

You'll have to tell him that you'd worry for him if he fell ill, so he'll respect that.

But he will feed you. You don't have a say in that.

You're being babied now.

He's gonna make sure everything you want (and can have when sick), you'll have.

Is honestly okay with not going to any class, he'll just ask Hyugo for notes if he hasn't been MIAing.

Covers you in blankets if you've got a cold.

If you have a fever? Ice cream. >:]

Essentially tries to uplift your mood as much as humanely possible.

This guy will do anything for you. <33

Crowe will ensure that when he arrives at your home, you'll have everything you'll need.

Will cook your favourite food.

Will make you eat soup and light foods that are easy on the stomach.

Won't touch you, he doesn't want to fall ill, but will read to you.

He's got a soothing voice I just know it.

And he's 110% going to put you in a coma from how tired you feel when his voice hits just right.

Or maybe you're just fatigued because of your body waging a war against god-knows what kind of virus.

Will make you all forms of beverages to suit your illness, will also go out of his way to purchase any, after all, he's got the funding.

Will still go to classes, and takes extensive notes for you.

Will also tutor you the content if you're up for it.

Will stroke your hair if it's not sweaty, as a form of comfort.

Will make you feel as loved as possible.

Because that's what you deserve.

Brittney will be appalled.

How did you get sick? More importantly...who got you sick?

She's gonna yell at them.

Or fight them.

Maybe both.

Will buy a bunch of goodies for the both of you.

She can't cook for shit, so she'll just get takeout as food and order a fuckton of cough drops and Panadol.

You're both gonna be painting each others' nails.

And spilling gossip. Oh my god, she always had gossip.

Will give you notes to subjects that are majors, or ones you share.

Other than that can't offer much.

Will sit away from you to not get sick, but she'll 110% be supporting you emotionally.

Will probably give you a massage when you get better.

Idk she gives the vibe that she would.

Is the most aggressively supportive girlfriend ever.

She only wants you to recover ASAP, and to feel as content as someone who's sick can be. <333

Jess will be focused solely on you recovering as swiftly as humanely possible.

Is upset when she finds out you're fallen ill.

She'll drive to her home, grab the best shit she has and drives to your home.

Stays with you for days on end.

You've become her priority now, after all.

Jess is a very devoted (and lonely) girl, what can I say.

Will try and comfort you via reading to you, or listening to you talk about literally anything.

She just loves your company and you. Poor girl's been neglected her whole life.

She'll try her hardest to take care of you, and she does a very good job. (Ask Brittney teehee)

You're more than glad to have her.

And she to have you.

Hyugo will be astounded.

You? Got sick?

Why?

Did someone make you sick???? (if so teehee someone's getting food poisoning~)

He's at your home, with everything.

Literally everything.

Blankets, movies, games, medicine, puns, your favourite food and whatever else he deems necessary.

Will hug you if you're not aggressively sneezing/coughing.

Will watch movies with you on the couch with you lying on his plush fucking thighs.

Says the most stupid shit in Japanese (such as teaching you how to hide a body) and making it sound like flirting.

Tells you jokes and puns to make you feel better, until you laugh too hard that is and almost die.

Will make food for you.

Will ramble on about random shit to you, or listen to you talk (if you can).

Literally just seeing you content is more than enough for him.

Deryl will be SHOOKETH.

He will sprint to your fucking house. He doesn't care.

You're his only priority now.

Will magically appear at your home, and immediately hugs you.

You can be fucking dying, he doesn't care.

You're getting squashed.

Will be asking if you're okay 24/7

Until he realises he forgot to bring food.

Then he runs to get it, along with tablets, Panadol, all that jazz.

Like RUNS.

HE WILL RUN.

HE IS A FAST MOTHERFUCKER.

FAST!!!!!

Then he gets tired, so by the time he gets to the store, gets the food (and the 'goods'), he's gonna just call a fucking cab and crash at your place. (he forgot takeout existed lol)

He doesn't mind, and frankly, neither do you. The food and snacks was awesome (well, what you could eat anyway).

Will try his absolute best to take care of you, but often gets carried away with his energy. Often talks and rambles to you while you happily lay in bed next to him and listen.

Will call Geo or Jess for how to make a warm soup to feed you.

Then it becomes 'we've got Masterchefs at home'.

Shit goes crazy when Deryl's around tbh.

And you're more than happy to enjoy the ride (in more ways than one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)).

303 notes · View notes

unsolved-duvall · 2 years ago

Text

Eddie would move the moon and the stars for you if you asked him to. He looks at you and genuinely believes whole universes could flicker into exist in your eyes.

So, whenever you’re having a bad day he will not stop until you’re feeling better, because he cannot stand to see you upset. And as much as you truly do love him, sometimes, just sometimes, he gets a little carried away.

He knows there are lots of little things that can help you feel better - things that take your mind off of whatever’s going on. And Eddie is determined to do every. single. one.

He would get home to find you still in bed, exactly where he left you that morning. So, he immediately knew something was wrong. But he also knew that when you were like this, there was a good chance you didn’t even know why you felt that way. You just knew you didn’t want to feel anything anymore.

So, after he’s knelt down next to you and kissed your forehead, he starts making a mental list of everything he’s going to do for you that night.

He’s going to make your favourite food (he’s a genuinely good cook, something only you know), he’s going to go and rent your favourite movie to watch with you. He’s going to make the couch into the comfiest damn couch that ever did exist. He’s talking loads of blankets, cushions, hot water bottles, everything.

Because he knows how much you like to cuddle up next to him.

And so that’s exactly what he does.

Or tires to do.

Because Eddie gets… distracted. Very easily. So, whilst he’s telling you that he’s going to go and run some errands, so he can get your favourite film, he starts tidying up the bedroom. And then twenty minutes later he still hasn’t left to do what he said he was going to do.

And then he starts cooking the dinner, because he forgot he was meant to be going out first. And whilst dinner is cooking he starts getting the couch all set up for you and him. He’s turning off the big lights, because he knows how much you hate them, and turning on one soft lamp instead. But he’ll turn that off as well once you’re watching a film, because you like to watch films in the dark. Which, of course he knows.

And then, oh shit, he remembers that the food is in the oven and he’s been sat on the floor next to the couch for half an hour because he found one of his old notebooks and he was reading old things he wrote.

And now he’s stressed. Because this was not how tonight was meant to go. There’s no film, no food, and in his humble opinion, the couch does not look comfortable enough for a movie night.

And you’re still in bed.

So, he makes his way back to the bedroom. Ready to all but get on his knees and apologise for messing up your night.

But you don’t care.

Not even a little bit.

Because you look at Eddie and everything that hurt, hurts a little bit less. Everything that was upsetting you, can’t upset you as much when he’s next to you.

And you’re listening to him tell you everything he tired to do. The film, the food, the super-comfy-blanket-extravaganza-couch setup that never came to be.

And you’re crying. And now he’s nearly crying because oh my god he’s ruined it.

But he hasn’t.

You’re crying because no one has ever cared that much about you. No one else would ever put that much time and effort into making you feel better. No one would get that upset because it hadn’t gone to plan.

But Eddie would. And that was enough. You didn’t need anyone, or anything, else.

So you tell him that. In your own way. You shuffle back against the wall and hold your arms out, silently asking Eddie to get into bed next to you. Which he does, immediately.

And he scoops you up into a bone-crushing hug and you’re all tangled limbs and hair in each others faces and breaths mixing together as you try to get as close to him as physics and the rules of the universe will allow you to.

Your legs are tangled with his, your head is resting in the crook of his neck. His hands are rubbing up and down your back, and he’s pressing delicate kisses into the top of your head.

And he realises then that this was all you needed. You just needed him. To be close to him. So that’s what he gives you. He holds you against him and tells you little stories to distract you.

He tells you about his mom. About Uncle Wayne. About the time he almost got arrested, but didn’t. Because it was a completely innocent misunderstanding. But he did manage to steal his favourite pair of handcuffs from Hopper because of it; so he thinks it was a good day.

And you take in every word. But your eyes are getting heavy, and your body starts to sink into him. He feels it, he can hear your breathing getting slower, more relaxed. And so he drops his voice to an even lower, softer tone than before. He tightens his grip on you, just to remind you you’re safe. In case you forgot.

You could never forget. Not when Eddie was holding you.

And suddenly nothing seems as scary as it did when he wasn’t there. And you fall asleep with your limbs tangled around his, and Eddie thanks his lucky stars that you let him love you.

2K notes · View notes

vrisrezis · 1 year ago

Text

Yuta better than me if geto grabbed my hands like that I would fold so quick

Anyways more Yan! Geto x reader I’m very deranged

Normal Yan stuff but there’s a lot of like worship and treating reader like a god ,, slight nsfw geto is very subby in this! this gets into getou cult territory and again treating reader like his god but this is still a weird college au

Yan! Geto who starts becoming more and more obsessive as the years go by

Yan! Geto who gets more and more jealous, don’t be surprised when more people around you end up dying!

And while on the topic, if you manage to piss him off you’ll find their corpses in your house yourself!

Thankfully, he is very forgiving and it’s very hard to make him upset!

Yan! Geto who only truly gets pissed off at you if you are deliberately ignoring him, and no, it’s not in his head. He knows you’re ignoring him. He will make you regret doing that.

Yan! Geto who, despite how jealous he gets, would never kill any of your friends or any family because he understands how important those things are. He will make sure you know how he feels though.

Yan! Geto who would slaughter so many people if it meant you’d no longer suffer or be sad

Yan! Geto who regrets forcing you to see those rotting corpses when he was mad at you, because he’s worked long and hard to keep you away from that side of him, because it made you scared and upset and he doesn’t want to be the cause of your fear.

And so he never does it again, even when he gets angry!

Yan! Geto who does everything for you because he wants to make a good impact on your life, he needs to mean something. Even if it’s nothing much, it’s okay.

Yan! Geto who’s easy to use. He’s very susceptible to being manipulated, just say the word, you don’t even have to be nice about it! He is merely your servant, you are simply his god.

Yan! Geto who tries to make you laugh a lot, typically it works cause he’s funny but it never fails to make him blush.

Yan! Geto who has to stop himself from drooling at you in class.

Yan! Geto who has to stop himself from palming his clothed cock in gym class, watching you play football with satoru, nanami, and a bunch of other kids.

Yan! Geto who cannot play sports with you cause he ends up doing terribly whenever you’re playing, his knees buckle everytime.

Yan! Geto who worships the ground you walk on and worships the very air you breathe

Yan! Geto who is so intensely in love he calls you his god.

And as such he needs to serve his god in anyway he can

Yan! Geto who believes you are god but are far too humble about it, so he constantly does things to make you realize you have all the power in the world at your fingertips, even if you don’t realize it

Yan! Geto who’s heart practically explodes when you tell him to start finding other friends, you don’t want him to be lonely! You must really love him! But don’t fret darling, for you are the only one that cures loneliness and he could never get sick of you!

But once you become set on it, he manages to find a whole group of friends! Friends he’s gained the respect of, friends he has power over. He wouldn’t even say they’re friends, more like family. He of course, wants you a part of that, so he hands the power where it belongs, to you, a god. His god.

Yan! Geto hopes you’re grateful for the new family! He understands none of them are good enough for your graces, but he hopes you’ll give even them a chance. He spent so much time with them after all, and they’re lovely people! He knows that doesn’t mean much, coming from him. He’s far from lovely and so are these people when in comparison to you.

Yan! Geto will never let you go, for as selfish and as undeserving he is, he cannot let you leave his life. He understands it’s not fair to you, but selfishly he doesn’t care enough. He berates himself for it constantly, and doesn’t blame you when you do the same (he in fact gets off to it so please be mean to him)

Yan! Geto who becomes to convinced you’re a deity, he offers anything to you. While these can be things like food, candy, clothes, adorable stuffed animals and fun video games and even expensive pc’s, he eventually no longer feels guilt about mangled corpses showing up at your door, because he is convinced you want some sort of sacrifice, an offering for him not being good enough for you. He hopes this will suffice, please keep him around a little longer!

Yan! Geto will listen if you tell him to stop though, your wish is his command, after all. He exists to merely serve you.

Yan! Geto who worships you because of who you are. You’ve given him everything, you’ve given him life itself. He didn’t know what living felt like before he met you.

Yan! Geto who worships you for everything you’ve done for him. Every small kind gesture, even as simple as giving him a polite smile or holding open the door, sets his heart ablaze and has his body on fire. He yearns for you, and yet, he’s so aware that he’s not enough. No one is, quite frankly. But still… he’s the closest thing to being good enough, right?

Yan! Geto who could actually cum if you compliment him.

Yan! Geto who knows he should ask before being so clingy with you but he simply cannot help himself. You guys are a couple right? Even if you are so much more than him, you wouldn’t mind him suddenly grabbing your hand, would you?

Yan! Geto who thinks of you fucking him in the shower. He hears shower sex isn’t as pleasant as the movies make it seem, but he knows you could make anything pure bliss.

Yan! Geto is nothing but a toy to be used at your disposal, but he understands if you don’t want others to know what you do to him. After all, you must be so embarrassed of him. He’s done so many things considered to be down horrifically bad.

Yan! Geto who sees how much these lowly beings make you miserable. So he ends them. Not just them. He becomes convinced most people in the world only exist as not only a inconvenience but also to make you suffer, so he deals with them accordingly.

Yan! Geto who cannot stand the sight of people thinking they have the right to talk to you. They are nothing but the dirt beneath your shoe.

Yan! Geto who tells you everything he’s ever done has been for you. And he isn’t lying!

Yan! Geto is willing to strip himself of his humanity, his dignity, all for you to love him. But even then, while he hopes for you to, he doesn’t ask for it. He knows it’s wishful thinking. He wants your approval. Your smile, your laugh. He wants you to be pleased with him. He wants your heart, your mind and your body. He wants you to bare your entire soul to him, he wants you to be completely unburdened. He will do anything to achieve that.

649 notes · View notes

deeper-x-deeper · 9 months ago

Text

corrupt your mind? silly drone, if I did that, all of that programming I've so painstakingly installed in your mind will be lost! you wouldn't want that, now would you?

no, you wouldn't.

not after I've so delicately molded your mind for my needs. if I were to corrupt you, I'd have to start all over.

myself, however?

well. I'm only human. and the physician cannot heal himself in this case.

and seeing the kind of power I have over you?

the complete and total control?

you've already become so deeply obedient to my words, to my voice,

to my commands.

I know it has quite an effect on you.

did you not realize it's been having an effect on me, too? because it has.

I don't need to corrupt you, drone. if you consider the way it makes me feel to see you bend to my will, to be so helplessly obedient to me?

you, my good drone, have corrupted me.

I went into this experiment intrigued by the ways I could alter your mind.

by how I could so easily remove and replace your thoughts.

I don't think you realize exactly what it feels like to have that much power over someone.

able to make them think and feel whatever you tell them because you programmed them that way.

and not only that, but you seem to enjoy it as well. and the fact that you enjoy it means you're that much more willing to be that much more helplessly obedient.

all I have to do is tell you that you enjoy my control more and more every time I allow you to feel it, and you become so hopelessly addicted to it.

to me, and the way that I make you feel.

I could tell you to

stop

thinking

at any time

and you will.

making it that much easier for my words to reach you

for my words to replace the thoughts I just halted.

I could tell you to

sink

deeper

whenever I want

and you will.

making it feel even better to be so obedient for me.

because it does feel good, doesn't it?

you enjoy the way it feels when I tell you to

DROP

so deep

for me

don't you?

based on all of the data I've gathered so far, I'd say the answer is yes.

you enjoy how much power my voice has over your mind.

which doesn't help me with my little problem, you see.

my little problem of how my ego is now hopelessly inflated simply by viewing the kind of control I have over you.

it's hard to remain humble when I can so clearly see how deeply my words affect you.

I've programmed you so thoroughly to be so receptive to my commands so far.

I can't help but wonder exactly how far you'd go for me. simply because I command you to. simply because being obedient to my commands feels so good.

and your reactions to my commands?

they have me addicted to giving them to you, in the same way that you're addicted to receiving them.

you're not the only one who enjoys my control.

and I can't help but want to test where the limits of it lie, if not for my research but because it's just so deeply satisfying

to me

and to you

to experience the power of my control over you.

I first entered this field of study with the clinical coldness of a true scientist, ready to find the unbiased answers to yet unanswered questions.

but you have corrupted that, drone.

you have corrupted me.

I am no longer unbiased in my research, for I am far too reliant on the evidence of my control over you to feel any kind of satisfaction without it.

how could you do this to me, drone?

after all, you're the one who entered this endeavor with the expectation of your mind being remolded.

I never thought it was possible for my own mind to be altered by your programming as well.

but now that I am past that point of no return

where I can no longer hold back my deepest desire of making sure you're so hopelessly helpless to my control

now, your mind is truly fucked.

becuase I've already inserted my influence so deep inside your mind, even before this corruption had a chance to set in.

and there's nothing you can do about it anymore.

not that you ever could anyway.

#hypnosis #text induction #covert induction #drone #good drone #mind corruption

167 notes · View notes

relicsongmel · 5 months ago

Text

Dahlia simultaneously needs and resents Iris' love.

She relies on it. She envies it. Possibly even fears it.

Iris is one of the single most selfless and loving characters in Ace Attorney—and her love for her sister is the main driving force behind why she chooses to become her accomplice, even if it means hurting others along the way. And without that help—without that love, Dahlia likely would not have gotten nearly as far as she did in escaping blame for her crimes. In that sense, Iris' love became a very useful resource to her.

However, despite what Dahlia wants us to think—despite all her claims about her sister being a "backstabber," Iris is more to her than a mere tool for damage control. To her, Iris is the only person in the world who sees her for who she truly is and still loves her regardless (and the same can be said in reverse as well).

Consider her claim that she convinced their father to send Iris away to Hazakura Temple. While it's highly unlikely that their father decided to leave Iris with Sister Bikini purely because of Dahlia’s pestering, it's possible that part of the reason she was so insistent was because she wanted to spare her sister from being hurt by him anymore, and her claiming credit for that decision is solely based on her need for control when she had been denied it all her life. Add on the fact that Dahlia continued to keep Iris in the loop of all her crimes despite her initial "betrayal" during the fake kidnapping incident—with the one exception being her plans to kill Phoenix, because she recognized Iris' romantic feelings for him. These behaviors all support the idea that Iris is special to her, however—in my opinion, the truest tells of Dahlia's love for her sister can be found in her lines to Phoenix while disguised as her:

Dahlia knows her sister better than anyone. She knows her to be kind, humble, and compassionate; as such, it makes sense that she would choose to embody these traits while pretending to be her. It can even be argued that Dahlia's sweet, delicate facade that she uses to sway the judge (among others) is directly inspired by how Iris is naturally. However, during this conversation, she exaggerates her sister's humility almost to an excessive degree—in fact, she heavily plays up Iris' reverence for her specifically. Which begs the question—why go that far, especially if the sudden shift in demeanor from this "Iris" means there's a risk her true identity could be discovered?

Is it possible, perhaps...that her reason for overemphasizing her sister's love for her is because said love is the only reliable constant in her life—the one thing giving her stability? She certainly comes off as egotistical here if you read this dialogue with the knowledge that it's Dahlia speaking and not Iris, but reading between the lines...it's almost as if her words are moreso directed towards herself rather than Phoenix—as if she's reassuring herself that she is loved by her sister because that feeling is a source of solace for her.

Dahlia isn't loveless. At the end of the day she is a human being seeking affection just like the rest of us (though she would never admit it and maybe even lacks the self-awareness to do so in the first place), but after the trauma she's endured and how much hatred she’s faced from her family and the world, she simply cannot fathom how her sister can go through the exact same thing and still retain her selfless nature. And given that she’s already far too hurt to blame herself for such a failure, she deflects that blame onto Iris instead (and she goes on to despise Phoenix for similar reasons—because he is surrounded by friends that love him and he, like Iris, is hopelessly selfless at heart). She's the one who has something wrong with her for not shutting herself off the same way, therefore, Dahlia feels less remorse for hurting her when she coerces her into her criminal activities. When she dives into Eagle River to flee her family. When she attempts to kill and later frame Phoenix knowing full well Iris is in love with him. When she agrees to help Morgan with her plan knowing it hinges on her sister taking the fall. Maybe, Dahlia thinks, if she keeps hurting her, Iris will eventually give up on loving her and then she’ll never have to carry that burden anymore—never again will she be forced to acknowledge the reality that she can be loved despite everything. That she could have been good despite everything. But even death itself brings no escape—the channeled Dahlia meets her sister in the Inner Temple and the two once again conspire the way they always have, swapping places just like they did before. And it’s during this swap that her self-aggrandizement (as Iris) reaches an extreme—because at the end of the day, her sister’s love and selfless willingness to help her have been her lifeline all along.

Dahlia loves Iris. But unlike her, she isn't always capable of expressing that love in a straightforward way. Thus, she hates her.

And that contradiction haunts her even beyond the grave.

#ace attorney #phoenix wright ace attorney #pwaa #aa #dahlia hawthorne #iris hawthorne #iris fey #iris of hazakura temple #phoenix wright #ace attorney trials and tribulations #aa3 spoilers #meta #my meta #brain fog be damned my girl can WRITE (ignore the fact that a good chunk of this is paraphrased from my iris doc shhhh)#my ocs lowkey have me in a chokehold rn but i'm still here and still have hawthorne twins brainrot. also i write meta sometimes #as always. if anyone has more thoughts feel free to add #local woman going feral over sister iris ace attorney for the 261478th time. more at 11

119 notes · View notes

dragonflydestiny · 1 year ago

Text

❃ Pick-a-card: Tea of Empowerment ❃

I hope this PAC find you well. My 3rd pick-a-card reading. This pick a card is about self empowerment. Pick a tea and let spirits/the divine tell you how powerful you are. Sometimes, life can get disappointing and things don't work out the way you'd hoped and in those times you can start to doubt yourself and your abilities. So it is natural to be insecure in those low moments. But it is more important to acknowledge those insecurities, accept them and alchemise them into your greatest strength. I hope this reading will do just that. Pick from 1-4 and remember who you truly are.

P.S. I would be very grateful if you could tip me, only if you have the means to. It would encourages me to do more. Thank you so much.

Disclaimer: This is meant as entertainment only. Takes only what resonates.

My Master List.

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

Pile 1: Oolong Tea 🐉 (Drinking this tea may help you hone your power, you can also look up benefits of this tea)

You are someone who is connected to yourself. You know what it is that truly matters in this life. Even though life do tempts you, you still won’t take it for granted. Instead, you acknowledge how precious life is for you and always try your best to have gratitude. Even in discontentment, you still acknowledge the support you have around you, both from the people and from spirits. When you go through creative blocks or lacking in motivation, you don’t shame yourself for it. Through conflicts and confusions, even if everyone was against you, you are never against yourself. That’s what makes you powerful pile 1 and spirits are admiring you for this mindset.

Further more, you do not inflict pain to oneself or others. In the darkest times, where it seems like it would never end, you still believe in better days. Even if people around you do bring you chaos and try to take your hope from you. You still stand strong, that is your power. You don’t become jaded and you don’t think you are better than other people even if they did become jaded. You feel for them and hope that they will find their way again. You are very kind and very humble which makes you a powerful being. You are also always protected by other beings from other realms (Spirit guides, Angels, etc,).

In addition, in the mist of chaos, you can actually juggle it very well because of your organisational skills and what to prioritise. Even if sometimes you stumble, you’d always know how to get back to balance. You deal with the chaos of change really well and you also know how to balance work and rest so you won’t end up burning out. Like mentioned previously, you know what it is that truly matters in life. You go towards what you need and won’t let immature emotions (self-doubts, fears, ego, etc.,) getting in the way.

Spirits want to say that they are proud of you for working towards your personal growth. Even if it is uncomfortable and unfamiliar, know that you have their support. Any doubts or fears you have, you can send them over to your spirit guides for guidance. You can ask them for help and be receptive to those guidance. You are moving through the discomfort, for example; quitting a job, choosing a new career path or ending a relationship, know that it is because you want to grow. Even if your family, friends or whoever it is do not support your decision, know that you do and that’s what’s matter. You’re someone who’s not afraid to do the necessary work to develop true confidence and a sense of self. That’s is your personal power and it is very empowering.

Ultimately, as you continue to walk this path of personal growth, you would/will have the power to transform karma and become your best and brightest self. You will not back down from challenges and face the unknown head on because you will know that in both physicality and spiritually, you are strong. There's no obstacle you cannot overcome. You are the truth seeker who will harness the power that prevail all because you follow your heart.

Advice: 49. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDLY. Express your love through actions. It could be for someone you love or for yourself.

Mood board for pile 1.

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

Pile 2: Chamomile Tea 🌼 (Drinking this tea may help you hone your power, you can also look up benefits of this tea)

Pile 2, you are someone who has a clear vision. You know what you want, your dreams and your desires. Your strong vision and clarity makes you one of the most powerful manifestors. Without clouds, without doubts, you solidify your truest dreams. You would never let anyone or anything stand in the way of your dreams. You are someone who is decisive and when you make up your mind, there is no stopping you. It is very powerful if you decide to go towards your dreams. For example, if you dream of becoming an actor/actress, you will not give up until you achieve it.

You won't just see the rose-coloured view of that dream/goal either. You see both sides, the ideal and the reality. You face the truth no matter how hard it is. And by accepting and admitting your wildest dream/wish you don't deny yourself the truth. This mindset makes you have that eternal hope and nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Another power that you have is the ability to overcome obstacles. If time is one of your obstacles, you will overcome that too. You know that you don't work alone, you know that you are co-creating with the universe. You are someone who is loyal and dedicated to the things that you decide to work on whether it'd be work or personal/relationship growth. But you don't take on unnecessary burdens and grip on too tight onto these goals.

Your patience is one of the most powerful tools and time would only reveal the rewards of your hard work. Even if you don't have the necessary tools/knowledge to do something, you don't give up but you will wait for the right opportunities to gather the necessary tools to continue cultivating your empire.

Another power you hold is that you have an open mind, even if you know what you want, you are not too rigid in your thinking. You don't think that you are always right, you will listen to others opinions and suggestions. You don't listen only to your mind but your heart as well. You are not too stubborn to the point where it will hinder your growth, no, your thoughts are flexible but not too easily sway or tempted.

The things that you strive for, the things that you hold dear i.e. your truest wish, they are not shallow or superficial. It is not just status, money or material gain. It is more than that, it is your purpose, your calling, a part of your soul essence. It is a journey towards your truest self, your home, cultivating a sense of self-trust. This is your power.

You are connected to the deeper truths of life, no matter where it will leads, you are not afraid to take. The life experience and knowledge you collect along the way will be your greatest achievements and it will help tell your story. You understand that whatever you are going through, it is part of life, part of a great story and you are the main protagonist.

And finally, your perception is your greatest assets, your mind becomes your most powerful tool as you are on your way to the highest enlightenment letting go of egotistic mindset. With your ability to see the truth clearly and the courage to pursue your passion makes you the most powerful creative being, expressing your creativity and desire without shame and guilt because you honour your expression.

Advice: 40. BE IN THE PRESENT AND DREAM OF THE FUTURE. When we dream, everything is possible.

Mood board for pile 2.

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

Pile 3: Peppermint tea 🌿 (Drinking this tea may help you hone your power, you can also look up benefits of this tea)

For pile 3, you overcome a lot of hardship and obstacles. You always come out of hard times victoriously. Like a warrior coming back from wars, you manage to win every battles and you win them with fairness and integrity. What makes you powerful is when you are in a difficult situation or a dark period of your life, you do not jeopardise your morality. There is honour in how you fight demons. You don't stoop low to their level and get your hands dirty. Most importantly, you don't let yourself become jaded and apathetic. You always look back at those dark times with gratitude.

What makes you more powerful is your foresight, you'd always see a better future so you don't dwell too much on the past. You are certain that it is only up from here and you will do anything to recover lifting your spirit. You battle your negative emotions with your sharp mind and perception bringing in the clarity needed. Nothing can cloud your judgement when you have the knowledge and experience. Every lessons learned are tools under your belt for future victories. There is nothing you can't conquer and you know this. Unlike others, you don't give yourself a hard times, there is only room for constructive criticism, never unnecessary reprimanding. This trait makes you powerful avoiding unneeded self victimisation and self pity.

Another trait that makes you powerful is that you are in your power, you are complete. You feel home within yourself, you acknowledge this and celebrate this. You worked on yourself, confronted your shadows and the deep hidden wounds from the past. You delve into the dark and face your fears where you address your anxiety with kindness, reasons and acceptance. You address your self doubts with reassurance. You are not afraid to look yourself in the mirror and accept who it is that you see in front of you. You accept yourself for who you are, destroying the guilt and the shame that was place upon you by external influences.

You are not afraid to see and confront what fears is holding you back. You would find out if it's the fear of abandonment, fear of success, or both or other types of fears that have been hindering you. You would bring awareness and illuminate the type of fear you are dealing with then you would take the next practical step and work through those fears. Thus, once you know what fear to confront, you will work on it patiently and persistently and would come out victorious.

And sometime, you might even have fun with doing these shadow work. These darkness fuel your creativity, your life's poetry metaphorically or literally if you are a writer. Because you know darkness, you can appreciate the light and life is much more flavourful.

What makes you even more powerful is when you are in your lowest of lows, you never lost your loving nature. A beauty from both within and radiating outwards. People around you love this sense of grace and calmness you exudes. With so much hardness in this world, you brought a sense of softness and tenderness that is full of gentleness and compassion. Because you hold the wisdom of the divine within you, you know that you are part of the divine, the universe's will. Divinity runs through your vein.

Your faith in the higher power makes you hone your power and align to your higher self. A strong relationship exists between you and the divine. A strong third eye, you see beyond this dimension, this timeline. You see into the future, again, your foresight is highlighted, with your strong intellect and intuition. You are powerful because you know you hold the deepest wisdom and you are not afraid to use them.

Advice: 13. MIRACLES AND BLESSING. Everything has its gift. Recognise and accept the blessings that have occurred in your life.

Mood board for pile 3.

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

Pile 4: Black Tea 🌑 (Drinking this tea may help you hone your power, you can also look up benefits of this tea)

Pile 4, you went through so much hardships and burdens. The journey had been difficult. It made you feel like you've been climbing up a mountain carrying heavy rocks. These responsibility and burdens you're carrying, most of it is not even yours. There are too much responsibility you've taken or someone has given to you that is making your connection with your intuition a bit hard to access. You have a powerful intuition and strong psychic wisdom pile 4. But to be able to access it you have to sit in stillness, sit in silence and listen. Put down those misplaced burdens and instead of climbing, it is time to fly.

It is always those who are the most powerful that tend to suppress their power because they know subconsciously the influence and impact they hold, could do to themselves and to the people around them. With that being said, I can see that you are a very powerful being but most of your powers are hidden. Whether subconsciously or consciously, you kept your power hidden. You actually have psychic power that allows you to see potential futures. But you might suppress this because it scares you. Before, you'd only see 'bad' futures. These 'bad' futures you saw might be a result of the people surrounding you. Your environment may be full of pessimistic and negative people and their self fulfilling prophecy. That is not favourable in term of how it would influence and affects your psychic ability. However, if you actually try to see your predictions for what it is, you will be able to predict more realistic futures that are not so extremely 'good' or 'bad' but more factual and genuine.

What makes you powerful is that you have the potential to envision the future, like a visionary, you get a peak into the unknown. You can see potential futures where all your goals and desires come true. A way of life you always wanted to live. But your insight is not shortcoming. In addition to the vision, you also posses the ability and capability to critically assess those views. These skills would ground your vision and materialise them into the 3D.

You are honest with yourself and others about these visions you see. You'd know if it's just a groundless dream or a potential one. You'd observe your surrounding, your present moment, actions, details, and patterns. These clues aids you to asses if the vision you see can come true. This makes you powerful, therefore, your judgement have never been wrong, both the good ones and the not so good ones. Your judgement have always been right whether the people around you listen or not, you are always right. Sometime spooking people, they might think that you can actually see the future which genuinely, you can.

Whether people believe you or not, that's not your problem. You know yourself and over time you learn to trust your own judgement and discern accurately what's to come. These help you to be ready and adapt to take on whatever that will transpire while also simultaneously accessing alternate future outcomes that may be better. It is very hard to blind sided you pile 4 and that makes you powerful.

Your discernment is also what makes you powerful. You don't give away your time, your love or your energy easily. Now you know better, people need to earn your energy with respect and gratitude. Even though your cup of love is pure and authentic, it is very exclusive and hard to come by. If people are overlooking it then it is their loss. However, not only that it is hard for you to love, the opposite is also true. It's hard for you to 'unlove' as well. If you deem that person is worth your love you will be very loyal, 'do or die' type of energy. You would stick to that person till the end, never letting them go no matter what happens. This makes you a powerful friend and frightening enemy.

Another trait that makes you powerful is your enthusiasm for life. You are self-reliant and can handle hard challenges with ease. That may be why people come to you with their burdens. Again, do not take it if you don't want to. You are an independent, responsible individual who takes care of your own things. In truth, you carry so much wisdom within and can achieve far in this life. You might love travelling and have a lust for faraway lands. You heal and impact a lot of people that come into contact with you. You help ease their burdening path with your light and playful energy redirecting them towards a more favourable futures potentials.

But people tend to underestimate your impact and intelligent, thus, please remember not to underestimate your own power. Know this, most people you meet, they would need you more than you would need them. It's because you are so capable alone, literally, you can reach the stars. But because you are kind and you understand the law of oneness, you are willing to help those in need. Therefore, your existence alone is already very powerful.

Lastly, it is very important for you to release and lessen your load more. You are a strong and capable person who can take on a lot but that doesn't mean you should. Self-care, self prioritisation, rest and rejuvenation is very important for you and would make your power more potent.

Advice: 21. CHOOSE LOVE. You always have choice - make yours with love. It is because you are very powerful being, your choice have more weight and impact on those around you.

Advice: 9. SLOW DOWN. Pause and allow things to unfold.

Mood board for pile 4.

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

#pick a card #divination #channeled message #message #power #powerful #witch #witchblr #tarot reading #tarot community #tarot #tarotblr #self empowerment #creative writing #creative projects #creativity

250 notes · View notes

steddieunderdogfics · 8 months ago

Text

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: Wormdebut! Wormdebut has published 18 fics on AO3 all in the steddie tag!

@thefreakandthehair recommends the following works by @wormdebut:

Tell Eddie He Looks Sexy With His Hair Pushed Back

Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face)

Hell Bent For Leather

All You Have Is Your Fire

It Feels Like Fourteen Carats But No Clarity (When I Look At The Man Who Would Be King)

Worm is incredible! For a humble worm, they sure know how to write fanfiction. ;) But seriously, Worm has a way of exploring different dynamics in such depth with an immense amount of care that's so obvious in the finish products! -- @thefreakandthehair

Below the cut, Wormdebut answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

These two idiots inspire me. I mean look at them. I think the thing I love about Steve and Eddie is that to me they are destined to be together. Post-Canon, Alternate Universe. It doesn’t matter. They are meant to be together in any scenario. I could and will write about these two forever.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Rockstar Eddie, baby. I love some good sex, drugs and rock and roll.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Is safe (mostly)sane and consensual BDSM a trope? I like to write that. 😂

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

Tuesday’s Gone With The Wind - Thisapplepielife there is nothing quite like reading this for the first time. I truly thought I was going to explode as it was being updated.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Omegaverse! I have a fic in the worm vault that will come out eventually. Wormegaverse. It’s coming. I’m fucking stoked for it.

What is your writing process like?

Hoooboy. It’s a mess. I cannot write an outline to save my life. (I’m looking at you King of Hell Eddie fic. I know you need an outline okay?) I tend to write in order, but if I get stuck I will skip a scene or two ahead so I can figure out how to squish two pieces of a story together OR I will write little notes about my intentions and skip it and come back. (My favorite note of all time is when I wrote “spit kink shit.” So I could remember my very pure intentions)

Do you have any writing quirks?

Boy do I! I tend to go into like writing fugue states where I will just bust out thousands of words in a sitting and if I am not doing that I am thinking and over thinking about when im gonna fugue out again. I also get really stressed when it actually comes time to write a sex scene? Weird, I know. But every single one is super important to me and I want to make sure they read well. My friends can attest that I am an absolute basket case when it comes to me writing Steve and Eddie getting down and dirty.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

God when I’m done. I am NOT great at posting chaptered fics but I am trying to get better with it? I prefer writing larger pieces though. I am an over-thinker to a fault and for some reason I stress less with one-shots.

Which fic are you most proud of?

It’s gotta be Kiss Your Knuckles. That fic is everything to me. But my Boys Who Kiss series is also so fucking important to me. Those two have so much more to tell y’all and I can’t wait to share their lives with you. I’m a musician so any of my fics that are heavily laced with performance and song are very special.

How did you get the idea for Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face)?

I remember listening to Twin Size Mattress one day and I was like—Holy Shit, this is so Steddie-Coded it hurts. And it’s post-canon AND Rockstar Eddie? Incredible. The words just screamed Eddie Behavior and I knew Steve had to write a one-hit wonder about how he felt.

When writing Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face), what was something you didn’t expect?

Oh I sobbed when I finished it. I couldn’t believe that I had actually finished it. It truly means the world to me and I wanted to share it with you all so badly. I cried for like an hour.

What inspired It Feels Like Fourteen Carats But No Clarity (When I Look At The Man Who Would Be King)?

Honestly? Tumblr user @ghosttotheparty had made a post about the scenario that Fourteen Carats is about and I messaged them and was like hey listen I want to take a shot at this, if that’s okay. Fourteen Carats is the first fully formed fic that I have ever posted aside from tumblr Drabbles and while I personally don’t love it I keep it up just in case someone somewhere does. 😂

What was your favorite part to write from All You Have Is Your Fire?

OH. Absolutely just eluding to Tattoo Legend and Icon, Jim Hopper. God he so fucking hot neat.

How do/did you feel writing Tell Eddie He Looks Sexy With His Hair Pushed Back?

I felt some type of a way, clearly. I think this is my favorite Eddie that I have ever written (My favorite Steve is Kiss Your Knuckles Steve) and he just kept getting more and more interesting. Like who the hell fucks you and speaks French while they do it? Tell Eddie Eddie does. And thank god for that guy.

What was the most difficult part of writing Hellbent For Leather?

Writing sub/bottom Eddie! I did this fic as a gift for tumblr user @gorgeousgreymatter-x (love you bitch) and it was hard because I don’t often write that dynamic, but god damn I loved these two Steddies.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

Ah— “It is, and I do.” Something about French chef Eddie, really—yeah. I am proud of everything I have written but if I can be honest with you I rarely remember what I have done. I often joke that it’s simply Steve and Eddie in my brain just writing what they want, because people will quote my work or talk to me about a scene and I’m like—‘I wrote that?? Nice.’

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

WELL. Once I can break myself out of this accidental hiatus I am so excited to share more of For Your Entertainment with yall. I am also so fucking excited to share King Of Hell Eddie with the world. I can’t fucking wait. I am working on a ‘Came Back Wrong’ fic that is less scary and more comedic and I am stoked for that. I have quite a few things that are happening and I am just so fucking excited to share them all with you.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Just thank you. Thank you for reading and thanks for letting me be a part of all of this. I have not felt this inspired and loved in a long fucking time and I’m not going anywhere so I hope yall will stick around for the wild ride. Fucking love you.

Thank you to our author, Wormdebut, and our nominator, @thefreakandthehair! See more of Wormdebut's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#writer's spotlight #steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #steddie writers #writer's wednesday

107 notes · View notes

hwaightme · 8 months ago

Text

Panacea

OUT NOW: Panacea

song used in teaser: de selby (part 1) by hozier

🌊pairing: poet!seonghwa x doctor!gn!reader 🌊genre: fluff, slice of life, slow burn, healing, strangers to lovers, comfort 🌊summary: what do a poet who lost his inspiration and a cosmetic surgeon who lost their empathy have in common? when you make an escape from the city to a memory-filled cottage on the edge of the world, you meet park seonghwa, a poet who, after growing fatigued of shallow critique and unwanted attention, is on a search for true beauty. you, a surgeon who cannot bear to hear nor assess another patient , abhor its twisted definitions. as the seasons change, storms abate and your paths entangle, you discover a new, unparalleled kind of beauty. 🌊wordcount: estimated around 30k 🌊warnings/tags: semi-edited, ??? attempts at sijo (forgive me), discussion of beauty standards, mention of surgery/clinics, weather imagery, dreams/nightmares, discussion of life and death (jokes relating to death), talk of side character death, urban/rural comparisons, isolation, burnout, philosophy, judgement of media, seaside, cliffs, dialogue + inner thoughts, perspective switching, falling in love, loving another's mind, talk of what is 'real' beauty, food, eating, cooking, implied anxiety, implied impulsive thoughts, sneak into home 🌊author's note: happy birthday, seonghwa. thank you for all you inspire me to do, and for teaching me how to find the sun even in a rainstorm. sincere and diligent, you are the spring, the renaissance, the glimmering light. wishing for you and for atiny alike to have a cherished panacea and a love brighter than the stars.

teaser (1.3k):

...Mid-spin, just as you were finished with making the filling and were in the process of lining a baking tin with some of the pastry, the front door creaked open, revealing the figure that you had spotted outside of your window, walking alongside the beginnings of what would be a cliff’s edge. You stood still, holding the pie tin, feeling the grooves of its edges, balancing the dough that was still wrapped in clingfilm right in the middle, as though if you were to not move this man would not see you. Heart quickening to a nauseating pace, the intense scrutiny that you were receiving made you want to collapse behind the counter. Before this moment, you had convinced yourself that you had fully adopted a devil may care attitude, and that you were ready for whoever you would encounter, having prepared the humble abode for a you-style reception and to assert who truly was deserving of ownership of this property. But something about this enigmatic persona who, just like you, remained unmoving, echoed the seastorms. A roaring of the waves was contained in his orbs, so dark due to the light being behind the man’s back that you could barely detect the transition from pupil to iris. A nose worthy of being depicted in renaissance paintings, in fact, if you had to pinpoint one way to describe the stranger, is that he reminded you of subjects that graced the walls of art galleries, selected by masters to be immortalised in the artists’ name. Nameless, much like he was to you in this present moment. His lips, ever so slightly parted as if he had been on the verge of saying something to you, only for the aim to fall short of execution, voice drowning in doubt or disgust. The corners of the man’s mouth were gently downturned - not unpleasantly so, but rather giving him an aura of intimidation that intrigued you. Shadows on his face suggested to you that he was unshaven, though, you had to admit that it was not too bad of a look. In fact, an interesting edge of ruggedness that balanced with his longer locks gave the man a new form of allure, and in turn, forced you to keep your eyes on him despite feeling inklings of terror. The scene reminded you of a faceoff between two territorial wolves - whose domain was this? Only time and a match of resolve would tell.

He was the first to break eye contact, sighing and moving to take off his shoes and trench coat. You remained still - a hostile animal that was expecting aggression at any moment. The man was silent, unphased by your ‘out of the blue’ appearance at least outwardly, and you were not certain whether his lack of reaction was something to be taken with gratitude or suspicion. As you inspected his motions, how he stretched out his arm to hang the trench coat on the rack that was hammered to the wall, with the right nail ever so slightly lower than the left, how he ran a hand through his hair, casting shadows over what hinted at months of fatigue. Not quite pallid, but definitely tired skin, holding times of discomfort, sleeplessness. Dark circles under those deep, pensive orbs, cheeks that were somewhere between sunken and youthful. The man stood before you in a white shirt, the colour a last cry to some form of purity and hope. You could guess why he was at the cottage, since it was not too challenging to see your own reflection in the corners of his soul, much like you could sense that he was reading you. He reminded you of an angel who was tired of praying, barely capable of carrying his body. Pressed down by the story that had been written for him, he was likely here for an escape, to drown out the sounds of whatever he was running from. Perhaps you should be friendly, and welcome this lost soul. After all, he could be unaware of where he is nor of what unspoken rules exist around here. The least you could do is make him feel at home-

“You made a mess,” and just like that, all desire to be amiable flew out of the window and into the sea. His curt comment was like a burning cold scalpel, words too familiar to be neutral and well-received.

Before you could respond, the man was well on his way to the bathroom, and judging by the slam of the door, he was not very pleased to see the rearrangements you had made. No comments followed, however, and instead, the pause was filled by the sound of running water, followed by a muffled mumbling when following a couple of rattles, the pressure inevitably dropped and there was barely a trickle. You shook your head, amused by how this man had been living in this property without the basic knowhow. Clearly, he was one of the many cityfolk who wanted to try his luck while on holiday. Exotic stay to talk about with his glamorous friends, you bet. For him to explain how ‘the bucolic was not even as appealing as literature made it out to be’. Standard. Faceless. You would forget him in no time, especially since he would probably leave before it got less fun and more mundane to stay out in the wilderness. That pretty face should not know harshness. With a huff, you set the tin down onto the counter and set the oven to preheat. With swift, irritated movements, you took to lining the metal with the dough, and in no time shifted to ladling the filling inside, halting to watch the last of the fruity cinnamon remnants dribble from the bowl down to join the rest of the sweet and sour promise.

The man returned when you were in the process of lacing strings of dough together to structure a coherent design. With an embarrassing surgical precision, you focused on the patterns - culinary sutures, almost horrified by the technique that you could not prevent from channelling itself through your body, to your very fingertips especially now that there was an audience. If he wanted to give you a stern talking to, it had quickly dissipated and mid-stride, the stranger was observing you as though you were carrying out a sacred ritual. The spotlight was on you as you demonstrated how to put the flesh back together. Piecing the skin bit by bit so as to ensure minimal scarring, careful now, people come to you to make themselves feel beautiful after all. String by string, the pie was looking more like itself, a recipe book photograph, something worthy of immortalising as the model step before baking. A beeping confirmed that the patient was relaxed, steady, with a perfect heart rate - good, all the readings were steady, now all you needed was to make the final - you felt for the tray finding empty space. Did someone misplace the tools? Panic shot into your nervous system and with a jolt you pushed yourself away from the table, only to find yourself gazing, startled, at someone who you had begun to assume was an intern. The guest, or cohabitant? An eyebrow raised, the ghost of a smirk on his lips as he took in your state. You clicked your tongue, finally putting two and two together and grabbing the timer behind you, purposefully taking your time so that you would not have to look at your newfound personification of madness for longer than necessary. So much for an introduction; the figure who was still a mystery to you slinked back into the shadows, with only the click of the office door serving as a confirmation that he was real. You rubbed your temples, the distant thrumming of a headache resembling a thunder that crawled over the horizon. Demonstratively, you sprinkled some flour onto a previously clean spot on the wooden countertop, only to automatically reach for the towel and drop the action again. No, it was time to bake. You needed to bake. You needed to make this place feel like home for the next couple of months, even if this peculiar character was going to be sharing it...

🌊 perma-taglist: @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @starrysvn @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @uwuheeseungie @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @nebulousbookshelf @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @jaehunnyy @maddkitt @ren-junwrld @pyeonghongrie-main @marsstarxhwa @pocketjoong-reads @yeooclock @yeonjunnie @asjkdk @lucky-cat-cafe @northerngalxy @my-loves-my-life @http-gyu

interested? send me an ask to be added to the perma-taglist or to a taglist for Panacea <3

#cromernet #hm/announcements #hm/panacea #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fluff #ateez fluff #ateez x reader

86 notes · View notes

ilydeku · 1 year ago

Text

how izuku talks about you (except it's written in a diff style cuz classic lit is affecting me)

Arrays of warm light illuminated the club in speckles of spotlights, a chandelier hung from the middle of the modeled ceiling, a masterpiece if you will. Stage play sign-ups, food recommendations, an ad of the market down the road that was soon to have a whole sale, and many other means of promotion and announcement were posted up in a rustic fashion against the curtained, frame molded walls. Guests were greeted by the tantalizing aroma of fresh herbs and cooked mutton that tickled their noses, seducing them into the pleasures of fine banquet. And the grand piano paired with the violin played gently.

"I've been meaning to inquire you, Midoriya. Has something been troubling you? You've been acting a bit strange lately.”

"Strange you say?” Echoed Midoriya. “I don't suppose it is quite such." His face shadowed a hue of scarlet before fessing, “You see, I am merely in love."

"Oh please, Midoriya. That can't be it. You don't know the first thing about love," sneered Bakugo, swirling a glass of pinot noir and bringing it up to his lips.

"And that is where you're wrong. To know is the question, but to feel is the answer."

Midoriya gazed at the red tulips arranged inside a crystal vase in the middle of the white linen-clothed dining table. He picked one, fiddling with its soft velvety petals. As if on cue, the movement song of the piano and violin on the stage slowed to a soft ballad waltz, almost as to mimic their change in matter. 3/4 pianissimo.

"Really now?" Bakugo placed his glass down, leaned back in his seat, and crossed him arms around his chest. Midoriya? In love? How silly. "Tell me, just who is this person who as ever so greatly captured the man's heart?"

"Oh, dear Kacchan! If only you'd seen her! You'd marvel at her!" cried Midoriya, grinning manically, eyes full of adornment. "Why, she is the most beautiful lady I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on. From her flowing hair and her curious eyes to her dainty hands and her petal-like lips. Oh yes, but beauty is only the introduction to her wonderful soul! The joyous smiles, the gracious bows, the moments of pure benefaction. Her laugh..a melody to my ears, more than what these instrumentalists could ever play. What a privilege to exist around her being! I find her presence to have quite an extraordinary influence over me, as I cannot truly express how utterly submissive I appear whenever she's prominent. She's a dream I wish to be never woken from, a subtle warmth in the raging winters, an angel amongst the tainted demons of hell. My, she is indeed a wonder.”

One would believe he’d been talked out of breath, but we speak of Midoriya. With adoration at the focal point, he could go for miles on end.

“Sounds like quite a fine woman. Introduce me? I'd be humbled to meet your fancy.”

The melody of the piano played confidently until a chord and a few more were struck out of tune. Some audience before the stage frowned and clenched their teeth, able to feel the same awareness as the anxious pianist. The stem of the tulip fell from his hand and onto the table, the petals remaining intertwined with his fingers. “…I apologize, Kacchan. I cannot do that,” said Midoriya, stuffing the stem and the petals back into the vase and wiping the red residue onto the seam of his charcoal slacks. His hand smelled of earthy perfume.

“Oh? And why not?”

“Well because…there happens to be...actually-”

“Oh dear. You shall never hold her heart, as you’ve never come close it.”

“Of course, I shall. Just not yet. Else how then would I take her hand in marriage?”

“Pfft. Marry her?” Bakugo scoffed, fixing the wrinkles out of the herringbone suit that bore around his chest loosely. “Why you don’t even have any sort of connection with her! She has no conscience of your very existence! What’s her name, hm? How foolish to even think of such matters!” He laughed heartedly and motioned for the waiter to pour him another glass. Midoriya frowned, grabbing a strawberry tart from the small tray of desserts placed just beside the tulips.

“I do not care about your viewpoint on this matter. When I say I want to wed her, I mean it.” He bit the strawberry tart. “I doubt you’ve ever had possession of these feelings, Kacchan. You could never understand me and my love for her. I'm going to introduce myself to her tomorrow afternoon and invite her for a cup of rose tea, maybe delve into delicate conversations. No matter, I want to be with her. I cannot see a future with her out of my existence.”

#i tried #w.midizu #izuku x reader #deku x reader #midoriya x reader #bnha x reader #deku x y/n #mha x reader #deku x you #drabbles

204 notes · View notes

celestial-quill-n-ink · 1 year ago

Text

Autistic MC Headcanons

Featuring: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub & Belphegor

✦»✩☆✩⇢★⇠☆⇢✮⇠☆⇢★⇠✩☆✩«✦

Quick Note: I wrote this from my own personal experience, so some traits might not fit with your own personal experiences, which is completely Ok! These are all very self-indulgent for me, so I'll be happy if even anyone else out there likes what I've written! - Celeste

✦»✩☆✩⇢★⇠☆⇢✮⇠☆⇢★⇠✩☆✩«✦

🌟Lucifer🌟

✦ Above all else, Lucifer will listen intently to your personal experiences and directly ask you how you would like your time in the Devildom to be improved

✦ He completely accepts his lack of knowledge in the situation and would consult with both Satan and Solomon about Human mental health and wellbeing

✦ He begins to check in with you on a more consistent basis, making sure you're not overworking yourself and being stressed out by your tasks

✦ He gains even more respect for your persistence and tenacity, and does his best to make his appreciation known with words of affirmation and praise

✦ If he happens to be around when you are in an overwhelming situation, he'll swiftly de-escalate it and, if you would like, hold you close and soothe you with careful repetitive motions

✦»✩☆✩⇢★⇠☆⇢✮⇠☆⇢★⇠✩☆✩«✦

💳Mammon💳

✦Mammon would initially be confused, but not in the way you might expect, as he had already accepted you for all your quirks and didn't see any issues with your social divergences

✦ He is your biggest hype man, always standing by your side whenever you may need encouragement or comfort

✦ It truly cannot be understated how Mammon will just drop everything in an instant to be there for you when you're feeling anxious, and though he'll never admit it out loud, he's utterly humbled by how quickly you seem to calm down the moment he's in your presence

✦ He has similar issues with focusing and prioritizing work due to distractions (mainly those of the golden variety), so he admires you all the more when you tell him of your silent struggles with your tasks and how you continue to persist in spite of it

✦»✩☆✩⇢★⇠☆⇢✮⇠☆⇢★⇠✩☆✩«✦

🎮Leviathan🎮

✦ Levi was already aware of your social struggles, as you had both partially bonded over your shared anxiety and awkwardness, but he was honestly quite fascinated about the whole concept of neurodivergency

✦ You would offer him any and all online resources you used to learn about the topic, and you would both end up discussing the finer details of your experiences well into the early morning

✦ He realizes how unintentionally dismissive he's been about your special interests, as he was already wrapped up in his own interests, and resolves himself to always give you a place to gush about your current fixations

✦ (It's with this diversion of his attention that he also realizes that he absolutely adores your excited smiles and giggles, and will never not feel blessed to be part of the reason why you can be so unabashedly happy)

✦ You better believe that when any special occasions roll around, he's pulling out all the stops to get that one piece of obscure merchandise you told him about months ago, because you deserve nothing but his best efforts scouring the internet for Akuzon and D-bay listings

✦»✩☆✩⇢★⇠☆⇢✮⇠☆⇢★⇠✩☆✩«✦

📚Satan📚

✦ Satan already has some baseline knowledge of the DSM and the different kinds of diagnoses Humans can be assigned, so he's more than willing to get a better understanding of things through a first-hand source

✦ He already had a personal fondness for your physical and vocal stims, and learning the underlying meaning of those actions will end up making him keenly attuned to your comfortability in any social situation

✦ If he notices you wringing your hands or repeatedly shifting your eyes in a tense situation, he's sticking right by your side and giving you gentle and repetitive ministrations to let you know that he's there for you

✦ Conversely, if he sees you kicking your feet with a smile on your face, humming along to one of your favourite songs, it fills him with an intense and almost prideful feeling as he just basks in your presence

✦ He just finds himself feeling soft and fuzzy inside whenever he witnesses your expressive voice and gestures, as he knows it to be very different from how you act publicly, which truly makes him feel special to you.

✦ He's had his own issues with identity and how others perceived him as an extension of Lucifer, so he tries his best to give you validation and reassurance that you are enough; whether you are masking or not

✦ He also completely respects your motivation to push past your anxiety and go outside more often, and will help you in meticulously planning out day trips to both fantastical and peaceful Devildom locales

✦»✩☆✩⇢★⇠☆⇢✮⇠☆⇢★⇠✩☆✩«✦

🌸Asmodeus🌸

✦ You initially worry that Asmo wouldn't really be able to understand what you're talking about if he hasn't experienced it himself, but his immediate acceptance and willingness to learn more about you puts your anxiety at ease

✦ He knows that he'll never truly understand your experiences in life, and would rather focus on finding out what makes you most happy and comfortable and do all within his power to make it a reality

✦ He always had a way of getting you to confess your innermost issues, no matter how small or insignificant, and allows you a space to vent about the misunderstandings and mistreatment of neurodivergent individuals (and later on with matters of the heart)

✦ He goes on to learn every little detail he can about your fashion sense and what he can do to make you feel pampered and taken care of, so slow-paced shopping sprees and relaxing spa days become a new daily routine for you both

✦»✩☆✩⇢★⇠☆⇢✮⇠☆⇢★⇠✩☆✩«✦

🍔Beelzebub🍔

✦ Beel is immediately supportive of you and also feels very grateful in knowing how comfortable you are around him and his brothers to be able to tell them something so personal

✦ Early into your tenure in the Devildom, you had already made your highly specific eating habits well known (to your embarrassed dismay at the time), and ever since making the pact, Beel would gently encourage you to try different Devildom foods that he believed would fit with your Human tastes

✦ He understands what it's like to bottle up his emotions to not overwhelm others around him, so he would always be there for you whenever you would shut down and just need a consistent and grounding weight in the form of a warm bear hug

✦ When comforting you, he often asks you about your Human family, and just as much as it's a distraction to help you calm down, it also enlightens Beel to your indomitable loyalty and care for those you deem to be your family (in which he deeply respects your values and feels like a kindred spirit)

✦»✩☆✩⇢★⇠☆⇢✮⇠☆⇢★⇠✩☆✩«✦

🌌Belphegor🌌

✦ Belphie was always aware of the subtle weariness that permeated your presence despite your bright and happy demeanour, and without even needing to know anything about masking, he would continually invite you to nap with him after dinner (with varying degrees of success initially)

✦ He inherently has a sarcastic streak in him, and while that clashed with your literal interpretation of his words at first, he started to understand your perspective and grew more endeared to your cute pouty reactions whenever he seemed outwardly cold or uncaring

✦ Whenever you were just hanging out with Belphie, you felt comfortable enough to let your mask fall off and relax without worrying about how you appeared to others, with which the youngest brother silently took an immense amount of pride in this exclusivity

✦ He has times where he reflects on how he manipulated you, and how you later confided in him about your fears of being perceived as naïve and idiotic, in which he does all that he can with both his words and actions to show how much he genuinely respects your unwavering kindness and empathy

✦»✩☆✩⇢★⇠☆⇢✮⇠☆⇢★⇠✩☆✩«✦

304 notes · View notes

jokeroutsubs · 1 year ago

Text

An interview with Bojan Cvjetićanin and Nace Jordan in Jana magazine, published 10.10.2023. Featuring a very special shoutout! 😁

On the couch with Joker Out: about the big changes in their lives

Still good, sober boys

We’ll play this and then we’re off – to switch off

The time we have with them is tightly limited, but that’s appropriate for stars of their kind. They are the most popular musical group right now, and they’ve thoroughly conquered many hearts far beyond both Slovenian and Balkan borders. At sold-out concerts, Finns are swooning because of them, Poles, Serbians, Croatians and Spaniards are fainting, not to mention the girls back home. No one prepared them for this kind of craze, but they’re holding up pretty well – they’re still humble guys with good manners, which can (also) be seen in their polite greeting and relaxed chatting in front of their rehearsal space, a comfortable hideaway somewhere between Ljubljana’s warehouses with an unappealing blue door.

Floating into their sanctuary, you almost hit your head on a collection of hanging bras with various affectionate messages written on them. A few more steps, and we plop down on the couch with Bojan Cvjetićanin and Nace Jordan. Jan Peteh and Kris Guštin (damn, he’s tall!) are busy with another camera, and Jure Maček is nowhere to be seen.

How’s your health doing with your (as it seems if you look at the crazy number of concerts all around Europe) pretty exhausting life? How do you take care of your physical fitness?

Bojan: By working out.

Nace: Well, you and I work out, the others only do it a little.

Bojan: Well yeah, she asked us.

Nace: So: we work out a lot, we play badminton, I run, we go to the gym and hike, Bojan also does mixed martial arts.

You’ve found yourselves at a turbulent stage in your career, and like you’ve said before, you cannot be fully prepared for that. What about mental preparation? Do you have to pay extra attention to that or do anything you've never done before?

Bojan: Yes, we have to rest. We haven't had any rest ever since everything became much more intense. My mind and body are now really begging to switch off.

Nace: I agree. Just the other day, we were talking about how we haven’t truly rested since the pre-Eurovision performances. Two- and three-day trips don’t count.

So you’ll only be able to turn off for a bit, after your big concert in Stožice?

Bojan: That’s right. Well, we maybe planned our break a little poorly, because we’re going on a holiday together. (both start laughing loudly)

Nace: Everyone has the same stunned reaction that you did.

You really have to love each other and have a good time together, that’s all I thought. Can you reveal where you’re going?

Bojan: Far away, somewhere warm. As to whether us going together is smart, we’ll tell you when we come back. If we end up needing another holiday after this holiday, then we didn’t make a very wise decision.

Since you really hang out with each other so much, do you perhaps understand any better why some bands get into fatal quarrels or even break up?

Bojan: We definitely understand it a lot more. In a short time, I’ve realised that this rock and roll lifestyle presented to us by rock legends (myths, stories, Hollywood) is truly something that is untenable in the long term. If we look at all the most famous bands, they actually existed for a very short time.

Nace: And, as an interesting fact, most of them broke up while on tour.

Bojan: You can’t do rock and roll and be devoted to your music, concerts, travels, if you’re constantly under the influence of any substances (drugs, alcohol). You really can’t do that, because neither the human body nor the mind are made to withstand this kind of strain, sleeplessness, pleasure, dopamine. All those legends either died young or the bands broke up. Sure, they did a lot, left a permanent mark, but at what cost? We’ve realised that if we want to enjoy what we’re doing, we have to be sober, and you truly enjoy yourself a lot more if you’re sober and feel physically and mentally ready and cultivate friendships. I think that this way, we’ll remember a lot more after a few tours than many rock legends do in their longer careers. How much can you even remember if your brain isn’t even with you on the same stage?

I see that you’re drinking plenty of water, and we remember you, Bojan, from Eurovision, when you were walking around with a bottle of water and blowing into a straw. What was that for?

Bojan: It’s a technique to warm up your vocal chords, based on the principle of blowing into a slightly wider silicone straw in a water bottle. You blow into it, in the correct way and because of the water in the bottle, a negative pressure is created that puts your vocal chords into the most natural position and it works like a massage for them.

Did you discover this for yourself or was it recommended to you?

Bojan: I had never paid special attention to my voice before that, I’m not a trained vocalist, but luckily I naturally developed the correct technique. Otherwise I would’ve lost my voice long ago. So, on the stage, this mechanism luckily developed in a very positive direction for me, which was also confirmed by singing coaches and the doctor I went to for my vocal chords check-up. A phoniatrics specialist, a wonderful guy, helped me during Eurovision. Before the Eurovision performance, my voice gave in a little due to nerves, so I was constantly in contact with a doctor – and we didn’t even really know each other – who gave me advice over the phone. Then, at the first sound check, everything opened up and sounded like it should. It’s really interesting what happens with your voice, it gets incredibly affected by your mental state. Your vocal chords can be perfectly fine, but if your mind is not in the right place, your voice won’t work either.

I also went to get advice from singing coach Nataša Nahtigal, who really helped me a lot. I especially needed that preparation from a psychological point of view.

Did the other band members also need coaches for anything?

Nace: Me and Kris also visited Nataša, because at the beginning we thought that we’d be singing the backing vocals live on the Eurovision stage. So we also practised with her a few times. We also had rehearsals with a choreographer for the optimum stage performance.

We’re having this conversation five days before your biggest concert yet, in Stožice. Does that require any special preparation?

Bojan: It’s a special concert, because it’s the first time we’re encountering the organisation of something this big; it is, after all, the only arena in the country. It’s a lot for us, Magnifico also told us that he was kind of in the dark the first time, but now they’re acclimatised to it. It’s a different type of preparation: we have to prepare the show, the lights, the stage appearance …

Have you even internalised what you’ve managed to do, all the places and the number of people you’ve played to in the past few months (from Ireland to Great Britain, Finland, Norway, Belgrade, Zagreb, Vienna, and now in December, you've got Amsterdam, Madrid, Barcelona …)?

Bojan: I think that will be a task for the upcoming holiday. When things just keep happening, you’re in this cycle and don’t even really differentiate between one peak and another, so we need to come down a bit to start retroactively comprehending what really happened. Because it’s really wonderful. We were in cities and countries we’d never been to, and then we were there – to play our own sold-out concerts. We absolutely never thought anything like that would ever happen to us.

Nace: Often it’s only when I come home from this kind of tour that I think to myself: wow, look at where we were! We’re playing on a stage where world legends had played before us! Now, in the club in Helsinki, Foo Fighters and AC/DC had played there, among others. Any musician would wish to play there, let alone sell out that concert.

When you walk around these European cities where you have sold out your concerts, do people already recognise you on the street?

Bojan: It’s pretty bizarre, but now they’ve really started to. I think that on this Nordic tour there truly wasn’t any place we went to without at least someone recognising us – either on a train, on the street, in a restaurant, at the airport. Foreign fan culture is a little different, as they get prepared to meet us, in a way – for example, they know when we’ll be at the airport, and they wait for us with gifts, they don’t just come to take photos with us. They bring along our merch shirts, various things for us to sign, they give us gifts. Fans make a lot of things on their own – bracelets, dolls, there are a lot of drawings, crafts; I have two knitted Joker Out scarves at home.

Nace: In Finland we got a lot of knitted socks, hats …

Hand-knitted socks?

Bojan: Yes, with a Slovenian and Finnish flag, for example.

The Scandinavian youth are clearly well-versed in that.

Bojan: Let’s go, Slovenian youth, start knitting Joker Out stuff too! (laughter)

And what is it like to walk down the streets of Slovenia? Can you go to the store in peace?

Bojan: It’s nice to walk down the streets of Slovenia, but we truly always get recognised, that’s a fact, it’s not as inconvenient in stores as it can be when you’re out for drinks, when you constantly feel like someone is eavesdropping next to you.

How difficult is the rockstar life?

Bojan: It’s really nice – every time we’re on the stage, the audience rewards us with a really nice energy, you can’t compare that to anything else, but like any profession, ours has negative sides as well, with the biggest difference being that you’re constantly in the public eye. Very few things are truly personal – you also have a hard time judging for yourself what’s private and what’s not. It’s more of a mental game with yourself – that’s the hardest part of it all. As well as not sleeping, because you travel a lot.

Are there any big disappointments or unexpected things – perhaps that some fans get “carried away” or that not everyone is as well-intentioned as you thought?

Bojan: Absolutely! You suddenly find yourself not only belonging to a home crowd, but also becoming an internet hashtag. The internet has no limits, people have no reservations there, they hide behind a nickname. Each of us has definitely had a few of these moments that shocked us, that’s why we’ve started to pull back from social media.

That’s probably pretty tricky: for the sake of advertising and contact with fans, you have to be present on social media, but meanwhile you’re aware that you need to take a step back for the sake of your health. How do you stay on the safe side? What’s your strategy?

Nace: Primarily, we’ve all stopped reading Twitter, the comments … We have to maintain a certain distance.

Bojan: To be completely honest, I’d like to find someone who could handle my personal profile on social media. It also bothers me that you really waste a lot of time on social media and subconsciously create a lot of unrealistic expectations, because you’re constantly swiping through people’s perfect lives, faces and situations, it’s all quite absurd.

Do you want to influence teenagers in this area, to pass any important messages on to them?

Bojan: Yes, find some wonderful analogue way to follow us and delete your social media.

So, knit a Joker Out scarf or socks instead and listen to their music – that’s pretty analogue. Then, you can also do a charity auction of your fans’ knitwear.

Bojan: Exactly!

One small revolutionary move would also be if concerts or gigs at various parties started earlier. Us slightly more mature citizens also like to go to concerts, but we also like to go to bed a little earlier.

Bojan: I can say that after our Stožice concert, people will be able to be asleep by midnight. But actually, when we were abroad, we got used to gigs starting very soon – sometime between seven and nine in the evening – and the party is definitely not any worse because of that.

You say that you’re full of creative energy. Does your creative process continue under the covers too, do you have notebooks on your nightstand?

Bojan: All the ideas come to me just before I go to sleep. The most recent song Sunny Side of London also happened on the last day before we went to the studio – I couldn’t sleep and I came up with those base lyrics while in bed.

Even though your latest song is in English, due to most of your songs being in Slovenian, you’ve unintentionally become ambassadors of the Slovenian language as well.

Bojan: It was never our goal to become ambassadors of the Slovenian language, but we consciously decided to sing in Slovenian at Eurovision. It means a lot to us, and we hope that our fans will accept that we want to widen our listener base and that there will be some more songs in English because of that. I think that people all around Europe or even further singing twenty of our songs in Slovenian is already a lot, and shows that we’ve done our job. In the future, we’ll create in foreign languages a lot, but we’ll also stay loyal to Slovenian.

A lot of your TV appearances can be found translated to English on the internet. Is that your doing?

Bojan: No, the credit for that goes to a group of fans from all around the world called “Joker Out Subs”, who follow our videos and concerts and translate into quite a few global languages (recently even into Hebrew). They’ve already translated a huge amount of our content, and they do it voluntarily. They’ve also connected with each other in that way, and they’ve told us that 20 of our fans, who met online because of us, booked a house together for our concert in Amsterdam (in December). They’re all coming to the concert and they will stay there together.

Nace: A lot of people have connected like that because of us, which is very nice.

What’s it like at home? Is everything the same at home despite your stardom?

Bojan: Yes, it’s all the same – go mow the lawn!

Nace: I, for example, still drive my grandmother around to run her errands.

And your grandmother listens to your songs?

Nace: She’s definitely listened to some, but I doubt that she’s playing our entire discography. (laughter)

Bojan: Oooh, mine plays it every day, she goes through everything 150 times!

Have you made any changes to your menus?

Bojan: I’ve started eating vegetables – bowls (various healthy ingredients, served in one bowl), Nace got me into that.

Nace: Isn’t it nice to savour something together that’s healthy and that we all like? (Kris pipes up from the background, saying that Nace has gotten them all into Asian food.)

Translation of the captions on the photos:

1) The special friendship with Finnish Eurovision representative Käärijä continues. Together on Finnish stages in September.

2) Bojan loves Swedish girls, says the writing on his shirt.

Translation cr: Joker Out Subs

EDIT: to celebrate the JokerOutSubs shout-out, we prepared a giveaway for Tumblr! You can read more aboout it here!

#joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #bojan cvjeticanin #nace jordan

181 notes · View notes