#true we don't know what happens after this life and there could be jack shit waiting for us after we die

[arathergrimreaper]

We have such a shame around death in the western world and I'm kind of tired of it, tbh.

[willowsnook]

Hi could i get a short scotch italian soda?

charles leclerc x driver!rider

just shut up and come here

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Moving from Sauber to Ferrari had been a life-changing moment and you still remembered crying into your dad's arms after signing the contract. Everyone dreams of driving for Ferrari so it really was a dream come true.

You and Charles had been friendly while you were at Sauber but had really grown close when you became his teammate. The media loved the two of you and you both were tagged in thousands of fan edits of you guys dating. Ferrari's PR team was who was to thank for that. They always managed to post clips of Charles gazing at you longingly or you getting flustered when he made a not so appropriate joke.

The most recent viral video of the two of you had come out this past weekend. It was a trivia type thing where you had to answer questions about each other. The question had been directed towards you asking what was the last thing Charles did before bed each night and you had smirked at him mouthing the words jack off making him laugh out loud.

Excited to fuck with him you turned to the camera claiming you knew the answer. Within seconds he flew over at you from his side of the couch, tackling you and throwing his hand over your mouth. His arm was wrapped tightly around your waist and while it was friendly in the moment, the video painted a different story. Max had sent an edit some fan on tik tok had made into the drivers chat with a million laughing emojis.

You laughed it off as you did with most of the stuff fans said about you and Charles. Of course you thought he was attractive, who wouldn't? But you'd seen his past girlfriends and they looked nothing like you. Don't get me wrong, you knew you were hot but not in the sweet, soft-spoken influencer type of way. You were a ruthless driver on the grid who didn't take shit from anyone and that bled into your personality. The F1 reporters both loved and hated you for your quick witted responses to their questions.

"Ready for today?" Charles asked, coming up to you in the garage, sipping his water. You shrugged at his question; you were starting 6th on the grid compared to his 3rd.

"Who knows," you replied. "I'll be happy if the car doesn't fall apart."

He chuckled.

"You've got a chance for the win though, nervous?"

"Only if you'll be the prize," he flirted and you swatted his shoulder playfully.

"In your dreams Leclerc," you said laughing.

"Then I wish I was asleep."

Smiling you walked away and towards your team to do the final checks.

The car felt good during the race. You made your way to P4 and were pretty much cruising with no one close in front of you or behind. You assumed that Charles was fighting for the win as you hadn't seen him.

10 laps away from the finish, you saw a yellow flag.

What happened? You said over the radio.

Safety car. Verstappen and Norris crashed out into the gravel. You are P2, strategy now is to defend for Charles.

Sure enough, when everyone caught up during the safety car, you pulled right behind Charles. Oscar would now be much closer behind than he had been all race.

5 laps to go and you all took off. Charles still had good pace and you were close behind but so was Oscar. He kept going at you over and over any chance he had to pull past but you held strong. You cheered over the radio as you crossed the finish line securing P2 and Charles the win.

As you pulled up next to him, you hopped out of your car just as he was walking back from hugging the team. He swept you up in his arms and twirled you around making you laugh loudly.

"Thank you mon chéri," he said in your ear. "Now we get to celebrate."

--------------------------------------------------

The music was loud in the club as you celebrated Charles' win and you were definitely enjoying it. Three drinks deep you were in an animated conversation with Lewis who was just nodding along smiling, amused with your drunken state.

Eventually Charles dropped next to you slinging an arm over your shoulder giving Lewis an excuse to escape.

"Having fun?" He asked looking at you, eyes glazed.

"Yeah, just starting to hit a wall," you replied.

"Just let me know when you're ready to go," he said.

"You can stay later than me Charles, I'll just get a taxi back to the hotel," you said and he shook his head.

"You're coming home with me tonight remember," he said and your eyebrows furrowed. "I believe you are my prize."

Your face flushed as you remembered his earlier comment.

"There are a million pretty girls here, I'm sure one of them would love to be your prize."

"I don't want any of them, I want you," he said seriously and your heart rate quickened as you pulled away from him.

"You're drunk Charles," you said and he smirked.

"Maybe I am and maybe that's why I'm finally shooting my shot," he said. "So tell me you'll come back with me so I can fuck that pretty mouth of yours."

You squirmed at his words, closing your thighs tighter together as you grew hot. Noticing, his smirk grew wider.

"I don't know...," you trailed off and he leaned closer to you.

"I think you do know," he said. "So just shut up and come here."

Your resolve crumbled as you leaned into his embrace, pulling his head down to meet yours. His lips collided with yours in a rush of intensity, and his hand gently cupped your ass, giving a soft squeeze. Gasping, you felt him smirk against your lips.

"If this is my prize I guess I have to win every race," he whispered in your ear before attaching his lips to your neck.

"I guess so."

[eisforeidolon]

https://www.reddit.com/r/Supernatural/s/NwUjmZnu8u

Hellers on reddit

"

I never thought I had to write this but I feel this topic hasn't been properly discussed. Every time I watch supernatural, especially these last seasons, I get so frustrated by this issue and I don't know how people feel about this. Because, how I see it, there is a Cas that's trying to do anything in his hand to protect the Winchesters, making mistakes or not, but I don't feel that it's reciprocated by them, at least not always. And especially Dean.

Dean's behaviour towards Cas is an issue itself. He has a very complicated and deep relationship with Cas, or at least he is supposed to have. I feel like Dean can sometimes be such a jerk towards the angel for no reason, even though what he might have done is not a big deal. The problem is, every time Cas dies, Dean is absolutely devastated and feels like he has lost the love of his life (which is more than reasonable), but when he somehow comes back to life, Dean goes back to "normal" and his tough guy attitude towards Cas resumes. Look, I really like Dean, and I get that he has been through a lot throughout his life, but Sam has also been through hell (lol) and he happens to be much nicer and empathetic. What I'm trying to say is that Dean cannot be a jerk to Cas and then cry over his dead body, because, honestly, that's just toxic.

Take the example of Mary's death. Dean blamed Cas for that even though the three of them knew how dangerous Jack could become. And then basically he became passive aggressive with him because he couldn't forgive him for something he didn't do (why is Dean so grumpy in the last seasons tho?). Cas is one of my favourite characters, and I love his innocence and his unconditional love for Dean (and Sam), but I also love an angel who knows their worth and who can smite the hell out of everything. Badass Cas is amazing but I feel we gradually started losing that aspect as the seasons went by. And that's why I loved 15x03 because Cas finally confronted Dean and decided to "move on". And even though I liked what they did in 15x09, I sometimes felt that Dean didn't deserve Cas. He was always there for the brothers but it looks like they took him for granted, or that he was just being used, and it's really frustrating to watch.

This is one of the reasons why I believe there should be a reboot. There has to be an actual conclusion to these characters' relationship, be it platonic or romantic. I need Cas to be properly loved, not some bullshit subtle "we care about you, pal" kind of thing.

Yeesh. That's A Lot.

Like, Sam and Dean also have fans who are convinced their poor helpless blorbo has never done anything wrong ever and is just So Wronged by everyone and the narrative at every single turn? But I swear it's harder to find Castiel fans that aren't like that. Then again, it's hard to find Castiel fans anymore that aren't hellers, which I think is definitely linked.

We could talk yet again about what a load of utter fanon horseshit it is to describe Dean's affect when Castiel dies as "absolutely devastated like he lost the love of his life". For the pure absurd exaggeration of how they take one single canon shot of Dean looking sad and then write thousands upon thousands of words "interpreting" it and thereafter consider their fanfic of Dean sobbing in devastation for hours over Jimmy's empty corpse actual canon. For how sometimes it's just plain obviously not true (pie festival lol). For the fact when he is genuinely upset there's ALWAYS other more devastating shit going on they pretend to be blind to so they can pretend it's ALL about Cass (the Leviathan/Bobby's death, Mary being sucked into Apocaworld/dealing with Jack, Chuck going full evil, etc.). But instead, this time, let's stick with the theme of poor wronged Castiel, Dean is so MEEN *sob*.

It's not just that the angel is "making mistakes or not" it's that he is consistently time after time after time? Making the exact same fundamental mistake: going behind the Winchesters' backs to "protect them" by keeping vital information from them or outright fucking things up worse by trying to handle shit on his own. After which he generally either tries to run away or share out the responsibility of fixing it to them. Gee, I wonder why they aren't oozing with gratitude?

Let's take the example of Mary's death, to start with. Yeah, they all know that Jack's gradually becoming dangerous. But only one of them knows that he is already at the point of killing a pet dangerous. It's stupid to pretend that's not an obvious, major escalation. But Castiel decides not to tell anybody it. That's a choice he makes, something he very much DID do. You know, kinda like how he wasn't really honest about how bad things were all through season 6 and his plans with Crowley. Kinda like how he decided instead of trying to go back and fix the mess he'd made of heaven, he decided to stay behind in Purgatory but lie to Dean about it. Nothing at all terrible came of those stupid-ass "protective" decisions, nope! No reason at all to be pissed off at his terminal inability to learn from his mistakes!

Which doesn't even get into how he was the one that let Sam out of the panic room, but berated the Winchesters for their part in setting Lucifer free without ever mentioning his own. Or how his first impulse after getting his memories back wasn't actually to heal Sam, whose wall/sanity he intentionally tore down in the first place as a distraction, but to run away. (There's a reason Cass stans/hellers frequently seem to be entirely amnesiac about just how Sam's wall broke.) Then there's how he decided he couldn't trust the Winchesters with the angel tablet. Don't forget that he could hear Claire constantly praying for help for years and did nothing. Or my personal favorite, how he went behind the Winchesters' backs to let Lucifer possess him and escape the Cage after all they went through to put the archangel there without a fucking single word of warning to his supposed friends that he's sooooo concerned with protecting! Then there's stealing the Colt and leaving them unprotected and unconscious outside the portal to Heaven. I'm not even going to touch all the whining he did in the final seasons about wanting to be a hero. I know there's more, but the point is, gee, what a faultless, helpful guy!

My overall point is not even that Castiel is The Worst. He's not the only character who makes stupid-ass decisions. I think there are, in some cases, understandable mitigating factors (YMMV)! However, given the amount of times he ran off on some whim of his own and went totally incommunicado or the Winchesters had to clean up a mess he made (or just made worse)? Framing his role in the show as if he was "always there for the brothers" (remember how when he said that the point was he was lying?) and was soooo uniquely underappreciated? Frankly, they showed plenty of appreciation for him by continuing to count him as family/a friend and ultimately forgiving him over and over. Rather than, you know, stabbing him through the neck like they would have literally anyone else who fucked them over so routinely as he did while supposedly trying to "help" and "protect" them.

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N Series CH 19 -> CH 20

Tagging: @roryculkinluvr @thatsthewrongwallcraig @icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06 @shady-the-simp @quicksilversg1rl @s-0lar @kristennero-wallacewellsver @ophelialaufey @mayathepsychic1999 @x-prettyboy-x @rorylover71 @auggiethecreator

Y/n hadn't seen Jack in a few days. She worried that something was wrong or maybe he was having a bad go of it since talking about his childhood so she didn't want to pry but after four days of not even seeing him smoking from the window, she worried something might have happened to him.

She knocked a few times before trying the doorknob and it was unlocked. She pushed the door open and called out to him.

"Jack? You really have to stop leaving your door unlocked. Someone much creepier than me could come in and kill you." Y/n walked into the kitchen and saw that it looked untouched. She could hear the sound of the TV faintly up the steps and started to walk up them.

"Jack? If you're naked or choking on your vomit I will be equally upset with you." Y/n pushed the first door open and the room was empty. She followed the sound of the TV and saw Jack sitting on the floor with his head in his hands, crying softly.

"Jack? Hey are you okay?" Y/m slid to the floor instantly looking him over for any kind of injury. She put her hand on the back of his head, giving his neck a light squeeze.

"Talk to me, what's going on babe?" Y/n's softness made Jack look up and she wiped the tears from his face.

"I'm...I was just watching old home movies." Jack pointed to the tv and Y/n turned on her knee to look at the screen. Y/n assumed Jack was upset with watching his parents but once she saw a second baby, she became confused.

"I had a brother, a twin brother. His name was Andy." Jack sniffled as Y/n spun her body to sit next to him and watch the home video, looping her arm through his elbow to keep a hold on him.

"There was two of you? How could the world possibly be ready for all that cuteness?" Y/n joked lightly. Jack let out a sad chuckle.

"Not for long. My...my dad killed him." Y/n felt her back tense. She looked at Jack carefully to see if he was fucking with her but he just looked devastated.

"It's all my fault." He sobbed. Y/n pulled him towards her and stroked his hair.

"Jack no! That's impossible. There's no way-"

"It is. I honestly don't know what makes me feel worse: that he killed my brother or that he thought he was killing me." Jack explained. Y/n had no idea what to say to make this better for him. She didn't know what to do other than hold him while he cried.

"I cried a lot as a baby. It was driving my parents crazy apparently and one night my dad thought the best thing to do in order to stop the noise was to drown me. Only he didn't pick me up, he picked up Andy and drowned him. Andy was my mom's favorite. I thought I was my dad's but I don't even know if that's true anymore because if he really loved me, killing me wouldn't have been an option." Jack ranted wiping snot and tears from his face as Y/n kept one of her hands tangled in his hair and the other sitting on his elbow to comfort him.

"I've questioned every single thing about my relationship with my dad since I found these stupid tapes. I thought he was my best friend. I thought he loved me more than life because I was his son and he was proud of me. How do I know that it wasn't guilt? How do I know that all the things he said to me or did for me wasn't just something to ease his shame?" Jack looked at Y/n almost like she might have the answers.

"When I was in the middle of my mania last year, after my parents died, I hallucinated my mom was still here. That she was with me when I found all this shit out and I wanted to blame her so badly. We were never close and now I know why. I thought it was her saying what I was thinking but I was wrong. It should have been me. I should have been the one to drown, not Andy." Y/n slid her body between Jack's knees and gripped his face.

"Stop okay? Don't say shit like that. You are a good person Jack. No one is perfect and babies drive people crazy all the time. Colicky babies aren't destined to be murdered just because you can't get them to stop crying. You didn't deserve to die and neither did Andy." Jack held her gaze and she continued to comfort him firmly.

"Actions have consequences and you can't blame yourself for the sins your father committed. You also can't question his motives to be a better father after commtting such a heinous act. If he was good to you, supported you and loved you while he was here, that's a lot more than some could ask for but you are not his flaws." Y/n brought her hands away from his face and took his hands into her own.

"We're programmed to love our parents despite their shortcomings. It's a hard pill to swallow but you are here and you've survived a lot to get here. Use that pain to make yourself stronger, don't let it break you down." Y/n felt Jack squeeze her hands and bring them to his mouth to kiss her knuckles.

"Why do you even bother to put up with my broken mess of a life?" Jack asked curiously and Y/n kissed his forehead.

"We're all a little broken. The fun part is finding people who help you put your pieces back together in a way you can live with." Y/n smiled.

"Would- would you possibly consider going out with me sometime? I mean when you aren't working or taking care of your mom?" Jack asked suddenly.

"I want to say yes...badly." Y/n could feel Jack pulling away.

"I get it-" She cut him off.

"No no you don't. I just want you to sleep on it. I don't want you to ask me out because we're forming trauma bonds." She laughed.

"I like you Jack. I really do and I would love to go out with you, I just want you to want to ask me out for the right reasons." Y/n explained herself and Jack nodded his head.

"I guess that's not really a rejection then." Jack finally smiled and Y/n felt the tension leave the room.

"Not at all. Just ask me out when you're having a good day." Y/n confirmed.

"You mean not when I'm a sobbing mess on the floor or puking on you? Are those not the hallmarks for a beautiful relationship?" Jack teased as Y/n helped him off the floor.

"Not one that I want to be apart of but I'm guessing the sex would be insanity." Y/n teased right back making Jack laugh.

"That I have no doubts about." Jack didn't release Y/n's hand as he was now on his feet.

"Thank you for coming by and checking on me...and just being a really good person." Jack squeezed her hands in his own and she nodded her head at him.

"What are friends for if not to drag you off the floor and remind you that you aren't your parents? Seriously, are you going to be okay if I head to work? I don't want you to sit here and sulk while I'm gone." Y/n pressed still holding hands with Jack like it was something they had done a million times.

"Actually, I was going to ask if you had a number or a card for those support meetings? I was thinking of possibly checking one of those out." Y/n's eyebrows went up.

"Of course, I'll text you the number. I think you might find some real comfort in just being around people who can relate to some of those lingering thoughts." Y/n pulled out her phone and texted Jack the address and number for the group therapy. He reached for his phone and checked the text.

"Thank you." Jack smiled. Y/n pointed at him.

"Eat something, call me or text if things get hectic again." Y/n pressed and Jack followed her down the steps to the front door.

"I will, I will. Go to work, save some lives and whatnot." Jack waved his hand and Y/n scrunched her face. She hated leaving knowing he was still in a sensitive space. He must have known that because by the time she pulled into work, she got a text with a photo of Jack eating takeout with the caption:

"Feeding my delusions so I can ask out my hot neighbor." Y/n laughed and quickly wrote back:

"I hear she gives great head." Y/n bit her lip and saw Jack typing.

"Oh wow, do you think Sharon's husband is a cuck?" Jack's text made Y/n laugh outloud.

"I don't know but you've got long hair, he might just consider it a spicy threesome." Y/n tucked her phone back into her pocket and walked into work with a smile. She hoped Jack was in a better spot then what she left him.

[definesanity]

Atone, Intoner.

When One came to, it was dark all around.

She was standing, her body unharmed, her senses less intense than before.

Without much to do, she walked.

She spent her time thinking on what happened; Zero had killed her, yes, but after was a haze; she felt... connected, to her sisters, in a way she could not describe.

The final moments of them singing together played in her head. 'A monster that can only hurt itself and others'... it explains the Intoners perfectly.

She was the 'oldest', and spent her time finding out the origins of herself. It all stemmed back to Zero, but there was no explanation behind it. She had memories of a 'mother' and Zero being a true older sister, but she believes them false.

A speck of white appeared in the black, and as One walked towards it, she was eventually face-to-face, barring the height difference, with Zero.

Zero had a strange expression, somewhere between defeat, annoyance, mild anger and tiredness.

"Hey." she said, finally. She sounded exhausted. One also saw that, while the Flower was gone from Zero's eye, she did not have her eye grow back, nor did she have her prosthetic arm, leaving only a stub.

"Hello," One greeted back. "I did not expect to meet you here, let alone again."

"Mm." Zero made a noise in her throat. Then, she sighed. "It all went wrong, didn't it?"

"An understatement. Still, at least now I finally know the reason for your slaughtering."

"Yeah, a fucking genocidal plant that wanted me to kill everyone. Fuck that."

One raised an eyebrow at that. "You?" she echoed.

"Me," Zero replied. "I was gonna finally die in peace when that bitch grew before me, thinking I wanted to destroy humanity. I didn't hate humanity, I hated the world itself. Unfortunately, it didn't get the memo." Zero looked around the darkness. "And now, here we are in this new shithole. Fucking A."

"Pause..." the Intoner of Knowledge heard something in the rant that made her curious, despite it all. "What do you mean, 'finally die'?"

"I don't have to tell you of all people jack shit." Zero shot back.

"Maybe. But if we're dead, you can't kill me again, can you?"

Zero looked at One with her single rose-coloured eye, then scoffed. "Exactly what I said: I was gonna die."

"You are an Intoner, the Original one, at that, Zero."

"Yeah, but before that Flower found me," she gestured to herself. "I was a human. Although, that's a stretch. I didn't have anything by the time I died, even with my tally. I was, in the literal sense, nothing. Nought. 'Zero'."

Another voice, of which One had not heard in months, spoke up. "But what about us?"

Turning, the Original and the Oldest saw Two. She did not appear catatonic, and instead looked the same as she did when Zero initially attacked the Cathedral City; albeit, more confused, even with her eyes wide and full of life once more.

"Not even a hello?" dryly remarked the white-haired lady, and Two immediately apologised, eyes widening even more.

"Oh, shoot, sorry, Zero! I was just a little surprised, that's all..."

"Eh, forget it: if you're here so are the other cunts. Anyways, the Flower didn't like how I didn't want to follow its way of thinking, so when I tried to kill myself again, it split itself off into five kids. Any guesses?"

"...So you're our mother?" Two jumped into the air as Three suddenly appeared, the slothful girl looking intrigued for the first time in a while.

"No, dipshit, you're technically me."

"You?" One sounded akin to a broken record, but that cannot be blamed.

"Yeah, you all got some aspect of my personality, some more than others, and some having a boost in certain aspects. Like Two; I definitely don't remember having that much of a heart."

"But that, you had some kindness, right?" Two immediately replied like the wind.

"Yeah, for Micheal... and Mikhail." her eyes turned downcast when remembering her dragon. "Oh, that idiot is gonna be alone, isn't he...?"

The three stood in silence for a while, literally and metaphorically.

"Oh, right, you seem a bit calmer now, Two."

"Oh, yeah, that..." Two laughed nervously. "Guess I didn't give you much trouble this time?"

"This time?" One quirked an eyebrow, before grabbing her head at a sharp pain. Thinking about her memories made her realise that some were similar but different. Like swearing, like her brother, like...

"...You stabbed One." Three breathed, her tone a mix of her tiredness and a small bit of awe.

Two looked like a deer being caught. "...Oops??"

"Zero?" One asked.

"...Ah, fuck, you guys remember the Branches..."

"Oh, that's what they're called?"

Zero groaned, as she turned to see Five walking towards them. "Hello, Five. And Four, I can see you."

Four walked from behind Five and marched to Zero. Then, she reeled back her fist and punched--

Zero caught it.

"You. Fucking. Bitch." Four growled out, her eyes filled with fury and her body shaking from sheer rage. "I have more than a few things to say to you!"

"Save it for later, after this." came Zero's reply. She let go of the fist, and looked around. "Well, that makes six. Any others I need to know of?"

Zero half expected to see Accord pop up out of nowhere. Instead, from One's side, that brother of her's appeared.

The Intoners, sans Zero and One, blinked.

"Oh! Hello there!" Two greeted warmly, waving.

"...Hello." the brother greeted back. Actually, fuck it, Zero is going to call him Decimal. He is half of One, so it makes sense.

"Hey." Zero looked at the twin of One, who looked back at her, eyes narrowing as he placed his hand on his blade.

"Zero."

One placed her hand on her twin's. "Stand down. She is not the enemy. Tell me, everyone; what do you last remember?"

"Apart from being stabbed?" Four spat out. "It was singing. Then I sang with you guys. Then nothing until now."

"Same here!" Five gasped. "We are... dead?"

"No; Decimal didn't die, did he?" Zero directed the question to One, who tilted her head.

"Decimal?"

"One, listen; I can sorta respect you. But I'm giving him a name as his older sister."

"That's the first time I think I have heard you use that privilege." One's red eyes displayed curiosity more than anything. "I'm surprised you didn't ground us."

"Maybe when you all were kids."

"Ah, sisters--?"

"I mean, look, okay, I'm an awful person. But I had reasons, you know?"

"Hello--?"

"Reasons that include senseless genocide of our soldiers, per chance?"

"H--"

"Don't start, Three, you fucking experimented on them. You think I would--?"

A sharp whistle cut them off, and Zero exploded. "OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHAT?!"

Two pointed. Everyone looked. A glowing portal was on the ground, akin to a hole.

"...Oh. Neat." Zero walked over, and looked through the portal. "..."

Zero looked back. "Right. The Flower found me when I was dying--don't ask--and when I hated the world. That was because of my own growing up."

"See anything you like, Sister?" Five asked.

She pointed to the portal. "So what if, that never happened?"

"What."

Zero sighed. "That building in it. I know it. It's from like, way before the Intoner's time. Go through and find me and get me not to be me."

"Wouldn't that kill us?" Decimal tilted his head in a way similar to One.

"I don't fucking know!" Zero then blinked, as of having a sudden epiphany. "Oh, hang on a second. I have something to do."

Three looked back, tiredly. "What's tha--"

Zero punched Three in the face, knocking the purple-haired girl back as Zero brought out a pair of gauntlets without her noticing.

Three attempted to stand up, but was knocked to the ground by Zero, this time by her foot. Her hair was then grabbed, and forced to look at Zero. She saw her expression, and it was one akin to a disappointed parent.

"Oh, Three, you sweet little bitch." she said it almost fondly, as she let go of Three's hair and punched her in the stomach, causing Three to dry heave from it. "Tell me: Why do you think I'm attacking you?"

Three began to reach for her scissors. "The madness consumes all, in the end--"

A scream of agnoy cut her off, her scream of agnoy, as Zero took a hold of her arm and broke it with a sickening crack.

"Your dolls." Zero spat out. "I had a bit of time to think after I killed you in Branch A, same with everyone, and I could kinda understand everyone, even with Four's fantastical racism problems. But you?" Zero shook her head. "Listen, Three, I'm not sunshine and daisies, but even I know you fucked around too hard."

"What are you taking about?" Three retorted snappily, as she felt herself getting hot with anger. It wasn't often that it happened, but this is a special occasion. "My dolls were perfect. Better!"

"And yet, still not good enough to beat me." Zero dropped Three to the ground, as her gauntlets faded into a sword. Zero's Sword. "You went on a campaign of murder, and for what? A few nice toys to keep in bed, and the others to send off to die to lovely Big Sis Z?"

Three attempted to get up, but the moment she placed pressure on to her broken arm, she yelled and collapsed. "I made the dolls to be perfect!" she repeated, for that was her truth.

Zero leaned down, her single eye almost glowing. "And what of during it?"

Three stopped, and looked at Zero, squinting at her with fury, confusion, tiredness and pain. "The fuck are you rambling on about?"

"Did they scream? Did they plead for mercy? Did they try and convince you otherwise?"

Three scoffed. "Of course they did. They weren't making any sense. I gave them sense--"

A blood-curdling scream ripped its way out of Three's throat. Despite not feeling any pain from the arm itself, Zero breaking her smallest finger made it infinity worse somehow.

"Three. I'm going to give you a simple request." Zero almost looked like an actual big sister as she said this. "Say you are sorry."

"For wha--?!"

The ring finger snapped, and Three screamed again. Her mind caught up with recent events, and as she tried to look for her sisters (and... brother?) for help, she saw them all standing there silently. Four looked pale, and she saw vomit on the floor, but they all remained still, looking at Three.

As if this was right.

"Take your time." Zero said, almost gently, as her fingers closed in around Three's middle finger.

Her mind raced, trying to figure out why this is happening. Her dolls, yes. They were made to be perfect for Three, of which she had personally handcrafted herself. Many hours went into the creation of each one, with some having her forget she needs rest, food, water and sex to keep her alive.

"I... made them." Three began.

"Go on."

"...Is that where the problem in is?"

Zero looked at her.

"...Why--?"

CRACK.

A noise that sounded oddly like an injured wolf made its way from Three's mouth, as she looked and saw said middle finger broken. Only her index finger and thumb remained.

"Don't worry. I'll just heal you. And then we can try again." If Zero had attempted to comfort Three, it did the opposite.

The creation of the dolls...

"Did they scream? Did they plead for mercy? Did they try and convince you otherwise?"

Three's eyes seemed to get less cloudy as she pondered on it. They did, yes...

...Oh. Ethics.

...Oh, fuck.

"Oh, God." blasphemy crawled out of her mouth, as Zero looked with a neutral gaze.

"There are no deities here, other than ourselves. And congrats, you're beginning to realise it."

Three thought more on it. The people she killed... did they have parents? Children? Siblings?

Three looked back at her sisters. She had, on more than one occasion, fantasised about turning them into dolls.

But, then, what would happen to their personalities?

She knows she cannot recreate any of them; having a doll of Two would be cute, but she won't talk, or joke, or laugh, without Three voicing her, and she won't be able to get her personality back.

"I'm sorry." The words felt so foreign to her. Yet, they felt right to say. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry ImsorryImsorryImsorryImsorryImsorryImsorryImsorryImsorryImsorryImsorryImsorry--"

"Shh." Zero cut her off. "No point crying now, is there?"

"...Atonement."

"What."

"'An individual's reconciliation with God by means of repentance and confession of one's transgressions'." Three looked at Zero, almost in wonder. "I... my dolls."

"Yes?"

"They are... hollow. Like a tree. Beautiful on the outside, but on the inside..." it felt strange, having her entire world view shift, but...

She clutched her head with her hands, not realising it was fully healed, and sobbed. Not laugh, or giggle. Sobbed.

That sobbing then turned to crying. And, she then let out of screams of despair, as the reality came to hit her in the face.

She had dolls, yes. But what are dolls, if they cannot be fun to play with?

She screamed for what felt like hours. She then gasped as someone awkwardly placed their arms around her. Looking up, she saw Zero trying to hug her, patting her head gently.

"Pat, pat, gestures that are kind..." she muttered.

The crying stopped, finally. Three shakily got up, as she walked over to the others, who looked at Zero in... fear?

"The rest of ya are also mega fucked up. Minus maybe Two. So I'm going to tell you something: Go into that portal. Find me. And raise me to never become this."

They all stood in silence. Then, Four walked to the portal, the glowing surface on the ground.

"What about you?" One asked.

"Eh."

Five went in first. Then Four. Then Three. Then Two. Then Decimal.

"See you later... Sister." One said. Zero rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Same with you. Sis."

One went into the portal. The last of Zero she saw was her smiling face.

A small, real, genuine smile.

[lunar-years]

I think that's a stupid direction to take if that's how the writers decide to bring roy and keeley back together. They don't need to show how a different relationship is worse for her, why not make her realize she just wasn't ready for something new so soon. Why demonize jack. I know the pairing is beloved, but their circumstances didn't change, just shoving them back together, because another relationship was horrible is boring. I hope they are more creative than that

& I think those are totally valid opinions to have!

For me several things are true (and sorry in advance because I know this is going to be a long one):

Narratively, Jack was always set up as Keeley's rebound. To be 100% honest I never once expected this relationship--which started with a kiss .5 seconds after Keeley admitted her last breakup was both really hard and that she isn't over it, and oh by the way, she also has complicated feelings now about her breakup BEFORE that--was going to end in forever.

I also don't think Keeley was rushing into something she wasn't ready for! Keeley was looking to have fun and see where it could take her with a cool and really fit woman. Good for her!

I know a lot of people are preaching the "why can't a woman ever be single on these shows" discourse and I think that's another topic where it's complicated and it's always going to come down to the personal opinions and experiences of the viewer. For me (& for what it’s worth, I am a very single woman who is completely content to be very single) Keeley having three separate relationships in 3 seasons doesn't bother me a lick. Reason being: Keeley has never felt like a caricature portrayal of a woman; she's just a complex character who makes mistakes and good & bad choices and also happens to enjoy being in relationships and having sex!

I do not think the show is demonizing Jack. Now, the fandom may be; these "Jack is Keeley's Rupert" takes are frankly ridiculous, but that was not the argument the show was making. Rebecca was respectfully noting red flags according to her experiences, not saying "Jack is exactly like my piece of shit ex-husband" (the two are incomparable, because Jack and Keeley have been dating for what, a couple months? Rebecca was emotionally abused for years in a marriage. These are very different experiences, people.)

a person can have "red flag" traits and make manipulative choices (possibly without even realizing it) without automatically be a horrible abuser. it means the relationship likely isn't going to work out, and the person (in this case Jack) certainly has some things to work through, but it doesn't mean they're setting her up to be a Rupert-type villain.

If we want to talk seriously about female characters the show has butchered by needlessly demonizing, let's go back to Shandy, because yikes.

It's too early to know what they are doing with it, but I do not think the point of Jack was just to prompt Keeley to run right back to Roy. If it turns out that way, anon, I'll bite my words.

I don't think the writers are making jack/keeley a terrible toxic relationship, either. They worked through the love-bombing thing with solid communication, and next episode it seems like it will be an outside force who wrecks havoc on them, not Jack's actions (or at least not her actions alone).

The narrative point of Jack/Keeley (to me) was as a way of portraying Keeley making messy decisions to deal with her emotions and how it is only turning her life messier instead of allowing her to heal. It's about how she isn't letting herself process her feelings, while also demonstrating that she's still allowed to have fun and try to move on with someone new.

There isn't really any indication that they are going to throw Roy/Keeley back together? I agree that would be a weird angle, as they haven't (yet. I do fully believe the reckoning is coming) addressed any of their problems or the actual reason they broke it off (and I LOVE that they broke up, by the way. I'm so so glad it happened! Those two needed time to grow separately.)

What I will say is that Roy's arc this season has definitely been written better than Keeley's. I think the writers have made many more questionable choices with Keeley's storyline than anyone else's this season, and I wish several things had been better about it. There have been good concepts there, but unfortunately wavering execution. However, the Jack/Keeley part has been one of the elements to it that I haven't minded at all.

If this is truly the final season, at this point I am expecting Roy & Keeley (& Jamie) to all reconcile and end single as friends (personal preference-wise I'd be thrived with this. I do ship Roy/Keeley, but very specifically in the Roy/Keeley/Jamie way, lol). If this is not the final season, then it opens them up to a lot more re: putting Keeley & Roy back together in future. The season will still end with them all single, but as more of a setup for next season. I'm cool with it either way!

[delicatebluebirdruins]

resident evil 7 mia and ethan

can I go on a weird tangent? for a sec? I got reminded today that at some point playing through RE7 and leaving Zoe behind my mind just went blep. In the first hunger games book we hear about a hunting trip that Katniss and Gale went on where they watched two people run for their life one was murdered and the other was captured and there was a line where Katniss and the girl who was captured lock eyes and Katniss says "you never forget the face of the person who was your last hope" after thinking of that I went off on a different thought about Peeta getting hjacked in the last book and programmed to kill Katniss.... and Katniss just not being able to deal with it and everything aka Katniss wasn't qualified to deal with Peeta's hijacking which is a huge minefield.

Much like Ethan with Mia yes Ethan was a ass to Mia but she did chop his hand off with a chainsaw and there is a element of he knew something was rotten with her job (they both say so like Mia at the start of the fucking game "i did lie to you I shouldn't have" and Ethan on the boat after fighting Mia, fighting Mia again; molded; Jack three times and Marge twice and poor deputy anderson was a thing and the clancy chronicles), as Mia's spouse Ethan was suspected of having something to do with her disapearence by the police (something I don't see get brought up often) for who knows how long (depending on the cops it could have been a short amount of time or they could have been so certain they tried to get a false confession when my mental health is shit I watch true crime and one of the videos I watched by Eleanor Neale two parter I think can't remember it but it was one of the many cases she has covered where all cops are bastards) probably from when they realise a ship full of people went missing to their brains catching up and realising how one person miles away can cause a huge ship full of people to disappear

also I love how Ethan says "try" to Mia after she say's she can't and then Evie destroys the boat and draw Mia into the Annabelle and to the tape where she remembers everything clearly. I say clearly because as Mia says she only remembers a little and its a hard difference between reality and halluicantion because Evie made her hallucinate a door not being there

Mia: "Ethan, thank you."

Ethan: "Who the hell else was I going to choose?"

Mia: "Ethan!"

Ethan: Mia, I know you've been through a lot. But we need to talk. You had something to do with all of this, didn't you? Look, I just wanna know the truth."

Mia: "Ethan, I honestly don't remember."

Ethan: "Try!"

"Is that the boat? How the fuck did that get here?"

"You're OK. What the hell was that?"

"What the fuck? What is that? What is that?"

basically how can a traumatised person help another traumatised character when it was bascially a cause and effect, Mia caused Ethans trauma it was the last thing she wanted don't get me wrong but it still happened much like Chris trying to protect Claire by not telling her even a little bit about what happened in the Spencer Mansion. But him not telling her lead her to go too RC.(its also why I think a RE5 remake is so needed because Chris is traumatised as fuck and it doesn't show through much like OG 4 didn't show Leons shit mental health) its basically their traumas going against each other like pinballs (thanks ladyknightthebrave video about Haunting of Hill House for putting that line in my head).

and Mia calling Eveline a little bitch was her both resigning herself to her fate whilst also trying to provoke Evie as she saw it happen with Alan he was infected yes and possibly dying but Evie killed him (also with Alan is when Mia got infected- cutscene death of a friend) and it worked Evie doesn't show up again until Ethan is in the salt mines and when we see Mia again she is hooked up to a IV in the helicopter

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i think one of the biggest reasons i refuse to take anything LL presents to me in good faith morality-wise is that just, everything about the vatborn--completely leaving aside the trueborn or mogadorians as a whole--is a hundred percent on par with what happened to lorien for sheer scale and depth of tragedy and horror. in very different ways, yes--apples to oranges, i'm not going to say one is worse--but on par.

and not only do neither the heroes or the narrative ever acknowledge this. they act like it's a good thing.

[cw: genocide, war crimes, racism, fascism, slavery, torture, child abuse, dehumanization, apologia for all of it after the cut. basically, the usual lmao]

or at least, a totally neutral and casual one (although they will still never call it what it is by name). the vatborn, who are universally abused, beaten, tortured, brainwashed child soldiers and actual fucking chattel slaves, aren't people. they are subhuman. their suffering doesn't matter. they can't be rehabilitated for any kind of peaceful life. they are barely more than mindless animals. they are vermin to be disposed of without a thought, while their actual slavers get far more mercy, compassion, and humanization than they do (which holy shit is saying something).

the only, ONLY person in the entire series who thinks it matters that they're people; that it's fucked up to have been taught that killing them in front of him as a small child was unremarkable; who feels uncomfortable with ordering them around and is worried about getting one of them in trouble; who questions the ideology he grew up in that said otherwise; is a deluded, naive, easily-manipulated, selfish race traitor who is treated with rabid murderous hatred for it for the rest of his life.

they and their culture--yes, culture, we see that they have developed some of their own under the trueborns' noses--are eradicated from existence because they 'didn't know any better,' and no one bats an eyelash before or after. it's fine because without their extinction they'd eradicate everyone else. and the method of their creation, both knowledge and resources, is lost.

there will never be another living vatborn again.

all of this is true, say the writers. all of this is fine. and to that i say: does any of that rhetoric sound familiar?

like. honestly, there are some REALLY strong foils and parallels to be made between the loric and the vatborn, right down to the scars versus the tattoos:

(which, of course, no one has jack shit to say about. in the slightest. then or ever. 🙃)

what they should have done--and i don't mean 'here's a way they might have handled it,' i mean the only thing they could have done, period--to make any of the protagonists actually decent people would have been to make them have a massive group-wide crisis the INSTANT they found out what the vatborn are. that should have been one of THE central conflicts in the series from that point forward. 'we are having to slaughter child soldier slaves, who have no choice in the matter, en masse in self-defense. we have no idea how to make it stop without letting ourselves be overrun. we have been doing this for a long time and we never even knew. fuck. jesus fuck' should absolutely fucking haunt a good majority of your protagonists, even if it takes until after the war when survival mode disengages for it to hit, or else you have a cast full of just plain evil cunts and i am not going to root for them no matter how many planets they save. fuck that.

like. for all the writers and characters hammer on about how ~we're not like them uwu,~ they ARE. the perspective we're meant to sympathize with IS the mogadorians, just reskinned with craft-beer-and-brick-pizza-ovens-appreciate-nature-uwu neoliberal fascism instead of ham-handed right-wing stereotypes.

(which, the 'respect for the planet and nature' thing? bullshit. the entity colonizes and terraforms the ENTIRE EARTH. it does this without asking a single ass human if they're okay with it; marina even points this out, which is immediately dismissed lol. the entity destroys pretty much the entire fossil record of the earth, all the way down. the writers don't give a fuck about respecting or preserving nature. it's just a cover for the sky-high platter of genocidal ecofascism they're trying to push through.)

one of the central themes of lorien legacies is supposed to be 'mourn the dead, fight like hell for the living.' and one of, again, the central conflicts of the series from RoS onward should have been the moral dilemma of realizing that the vatborn are some of the living to fight like hell for, and having no fucking idea how to do that without giving everything else up for lost. instead the moral becomes 'fight like hell for the living, as long as they look enough like me and aren't Icky and i don't have any personal baggage about them, and also as long as they came out of a vagina.'

and like. the really insidious thing about how they frame the mogs versus everyone else--how they try to excuse and distract you from the evil shit the protagonists and their buddies say and do--is that they go 'well i mean sure, they're racist and ableist and genocidal and [laundry list of awful], and have less than no basic fucking decency or compassion toward the Acceptable Group of People, but also they're kind and caring and heroic and nice to other people!' whereas the mogs read as the authors having looked up a Traits of Fascist Societies checklist to hammer into their story without actually understanding how fascism works.

actual fascist societies aren't cartoonishly hateful, joyless, loveless, and sadistically rubbing their hands together over their Evil Plotting on every level of society, every day, with everyone around them. like. it doesn't fucking happen. i don't care how cultish it is, i don't care how rabidly hateful you can whip a movement up to be, you can fuck a society and its norms up horrifically but you CANNOT do that with 99% total success rate on that scale. you know what happens with actual fascism? with hate groups, with colonialism, with genocide?

most of them are, in some aspects of their lives, 'good people.' they pet puppies, they're loving spouses and parents, they're kind and respected members of their community. i'm nice, they think. i'm a Good Person. i care.

and they are completely caught off guard when they are held accountable for the other things they did with their lives, because it doesn't fucking matter how many puppies you pet when you make yourself complicit in genocide. you extend basic human decency to your family and people you happen to find likeable and acceptable, and none of whom you have emotional baggage toward as a group? cool motive, still a war criminal, still blood on your hands.

which, by the way, is another vile thing they try to push through here. 'i'm racist because muh war trauma so i get a blank check to commit atrocities, cut me some slack' is, y'know. famously not a justification used for any horrific mass war crimes in countries invaded by, say, the U.S. in the last few decades alone. vietnam? iraq? are those some kind of chopped liver?

and the fact that they try to hide this shit behind 'well they're genocide survivors and teenagers, you can't expect them to be mature about their war trauma 🥺' is just contrived bullshit to get away with this rhetoric, which is even more obvious when every now and then they try to act like the characters are in their mid-20s or something instead of, you know. 15-18. teenagers are not the ones making these calls irl, pal. they're not the ones devising war tactics or taking out tons of people by themselves in one go. they're not the ones making legislation about what to do with the enemies after the war. are there garde who have to wear a bikini for their photosynthesis legacy too, by any chance

(this is an ESPECIALLY bad look in the context of the vietnam war in particular, considering how frighteningly, violently, genocidally racist these books are toward every fucking east asian country in their line of sight lmao. like holy shit dude it's BAD and this is just another shit in the bucket)

(ETA: HOLY SHIT WOW THE VIETNAM PARALLEL MAKES THE THING WITH JOHN CATCHING A LARGE CONCENTRATION OF MOGS OFF GUARD TO INCINERATE THEM ALL WITH HIS FLAMETHROWER POWERS--BECAUSE 'NOW THEY KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE CAUGHT BY SURPRISE,' NO LESS--SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE EL EM AY OH)

anyway yeah, despite supposedly being a critique of fascism these books are fascist as shit, and it is impossible for me to look at the protagonists being Caring and Compassionate, and Fighting for Peace and Justice and Preservation of All Things Good in the World, without just seeing this:

as usual i have many, many more thoughts about this, and as usual they are for other posts because this one is hella long already, but tl;dr the vatborn deserved better and are pretty much the perfect distillation of why my approach to this series' authors and what they are trying to communicate with their story is 'stay back slut' lmao

[bouqetofmemes]

oh no

spoilers here death, blood, and tell me if I need to add something

"Is this really the time for a game of chess?" Ciel asked

"Obsessing about won't help you solve the case." Madam red answered sternly

"Why not just leave it all to Sebastian, dear?"

"Cause he's simply our chess piece."

"Me and Y/n are the one who moves him by giving orders, but he's no ordinary piece."

"He can move as many squares as he needs to."

"Like that." Ciel said, knocking down the chess piece

"That is against the rules you know?!" madam red asked, putting the piece back

"It would be if this was a game."

"But rules such as that have no true meaning in the real world." Y/n said, getting up from her shared seat next to Ciel to go look at the rain

"There are always knights who break the rules and pawns who betray."

"If you let your guard down,... it's checkmate." Ciel said putting down his piece

"You must've had other options in life besides policing England's underworld."

"I'm sure my sister, your mother, wanted something else for you both."

"And yet after their deaths you returned to be the queens guard dog and made your sister, her butterfly."

"Is it because your trying to avenge your parents murders?"

"The need for revenge is a funny thing, it won't bring back the dead, nor will it bring them happiness."

'I feel like something bad is going to happen, but why?' Y/n thought rubbing her ring and kissing it

"I'm going to my chambers, I'll be relaxing for a little while, call me if you need me." Y/n said, walking out the door

You were drifting off to sleep, when you heard Ciel and Sebastian talking, you just stayed quiet and listened in on what they were saying

You were then woken up by Ciel and got dressed to go investigate

                   On the back of your dress was a bow, it was attached to your skirt and you wore it because why not 😋

Goofy ahh dress

"He'll show if we stake out this place, right?" Ciel checked

"Yes."

"You know, I've realized the murdered prostitutes has other things in common besides their profession."

"The most beautiful glossy black hair."

'I swear if he's looking at a cat right now I'm going to lose it.' Y/n thought

"But I still don't understand why he had to kill them all."

"So very lovable it could be a sin."

"And what's more I-."

"So soft."

"Ah so soft."

Ciel lost his shit

"Listen when I'm talking to you!"

'And he's petting a cat.' Y/n thought moving to were Ciel was before to stay on the look out

"How could have somebody gotten past us?!"

"Let's go."

You all ran up to the house and Ciel forced open the door but you regret looking inside

On the floor was the dead prostitute, the sight was not meant for young children like you both, but you still dealt with it

"Come away." Sebastian grabbed Ciel and jumped back, you jumped back too, but you walked in front to guard Ciel, holding a dagger

"You've made quiet a bloody mess of things in there, Jack the Ripper, or rather, Grell Sutcliffe."

"No, no, your wrong, I heard the scream and rushed to help but-"

"You can drop the innocent act, Grell."

'How, why?! He seemed completely innocent, just a regular old and shy butler!' You thought

'No, forget about that, protect Ciel, I can't let him get hurt!'

Grell's appearance was changing, she was flirting with Sebastian while you were thinking of a way to make her get away

'This is a Grimm reaper for crying out loud! I cant kill her, I'm just a human! I'll guard Ciel for now.'

Then madam red walked out, you were shaking at this point, you felt like throwing up and crying

Everything felt wrong

Ciel then starting talking about what they all had in common, how he suspected her

"My darling niece, why do you cry? A beautiful face like yours shouldn't be covered by tears, or anything at all, I knew I had to protect you from the day I saw you, you were so pretty and fragile, gentle and glowing like a diamond, yet here you are now, fierce like a tiger, holding a weapon, ready to attack your own blood and flesh. My, how you wound me..." madam red said, hugging herself

"How unfortunate this turned out to be, if you both had let it go we could play chess again..."

"BUT NOW YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING!"

A chainsaw was about to strike both you and Ciel but Sebastian had caught it just in time

While Sebastian and Grell were talking, you cut the bow and your skirt came down, revealing what you had underneath, shorts and a garter belt, holding bullets, and a gun.

"Sebastian, kill them." Ciel said sternly

Y/n had put her dagger away , holding onto Ciels arm while he was holding her waist, both trying to protect each other

"You’re still the queens guard dog and butterfly, which means that I'm now your prey, but if it's hunt or be hunted,... there is only one thing I can do!" Madam red charged toward you both, scratching your arm deeply and also getting Ciels

Ciel was pressed against a wall while you were behind madam red, holding onto your arm

"Your a doctor, how could you do it."

"You wouldn't understand if I told you! Your just a child!" Madam red yelled choking Ciel

'Damn it, i stepped the wrong way and now my ankle is messed up, I can't walk properly, please, give me one last chance...'

'Or maybe this could be the last? No! Do it! Do it to protect him! You can't lose him!'

"You shouldn't have been born in the first place!"

"NO!"

Y/n rushed towards Ciel and held him protectively, ready to take the blow

"Stop Sebastian, don't kill her!"

"Hurry up and kill the brat already!" Grell yelled

"I can't..."

"I can't kill them..."

"I can't kill their beloved children..."

Grell was telling madam red to kill you both, rushing her

"But these dear children- they are my-"

Grell ran his chainsaw through madam red

Y/n was having trouble breathing, tears ran down her face, she could barely take a breath, she then looked down, taking out her hair stick, hair coming undone and down

She then looked back up and stared at Grell with hatred, taking out her dagger once again.

"If, you loved her so,"

"THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO DOWN WITH HER?!"

Y/n started shooting at Grell, missing sometimes but mostly aiming for her legs, still in shock about the events

Then she lost consciousness...

Sebastian knocked y’all out 😍

[icecreampotluck]

fic stats meme

twas tagged by @jeeyuns

rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

SIDE NOTE: i have not published 911 fic!!!! trust me i am also mad at me for this!!!!! i am working on it!!! so instead everyone gets a look into the history on my ao3 profile that hasn't had anything updated since 2021 and my most written for fandom. (i am not going to publish anything in 911 fandom until it's fully written to avoid the unfinished fate of a lot of these works dw) but I WANT TO PARTICIPATE!!!! so here goes!!

most hits: i've tried goodbye a hundred times (not one of them true)

Check, Please! (Webcomic), Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter

The first time it happens, it’s daisies. Seven year old William watches in fascination as the flowers appear, line by line, around his wrist and up his arm. They’re just black outlines, with little yellow dots in the middle, but they fascinate him, and he watches as they grow all the way up to his elbow. And then Mitch slams his desk.

yeah i'll be real with you besties. this will probably never be updated again. which is so sad because apparently it's my work with the most hits. but i'm a polyfrogs bitch now!!!! people change!!!!! i don't even remember where the plot was going. this is not the target audience of this apology but you're the ones who get it.

second most kudos: Amy Parson Takes No Shit

Check, Please! (Webcomic), Kent "Parse" Parson/Original Character(s)

She hates this. She hates knowing that for all the talk of acceptance and anyone being able to play, it doesn’t matter. If she told the team, she can’t imagine what they’d think. And God, management would be a nightmare. She shouldn’t have to pick between hockey and being herself but she does and she’s made her choice. Someday, she’s gonna find a way to have her cake and eat it, too.

oh my god so. okay. the tag "im tired of cis bullshit" on this work is so funny. 1) the "cis bullshit" in question was genderbends which is the most 2017 discourse imaginable. 2) when i wrote that tag I identified as cis. LMAOOOOO. i thought i was being such a good ally writing this fic. and then somewhere along the way i was like "goddamm why do i relate so much to Amy's choosing to ruthlessly be herself and why am i jealous of it." and here we are. so this work holds a special place in my heart and i will finish it if it kills me and also probably rewrite the early chapters because they are SIX YEARS OLD oh my god i was FIFTEEN. they could be better, and they will be.

third most comments: all the gun fights, and the lime lights, and the holy sick divine nights

Check, Please! (Webcomic), Derek "Nursey" Nurse/Kent "Parse" Parson

Nursey rolls over in bed the morning after Epikegster, and finds himself face to face with Kent Parson. Kent is drooling, and still asleep, so Nursery takes a moment to assess the situation. Kent has all the covers and is kind of hogging whatever bed they’re in, which appears to be in a hotel room. Nursey is naked, and a quick inventory of the floor leads him to believe that most if not all of his clothing is there. He glances down at himself, and notices a not insignificant number of mouth sized bruises littering his torso. His therapist has been teaching him about not jumping to conclusions, but he’s starting to think he hooked up with Kent Parson.

you won't get it unless you Get It but this is the funniest possible rairpair. i'd love to finish this someday and fix the haphazard characterization. the plot was good as shit i just have to hope i get inspiration back after *checks notes* five years! we'll see!

fourth most bookmarks: i've got you (and you've got me)

Check, Please! (Webcomic), Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann

    He’s done it.     He’s graduated, and he’s got his degree, and he’s got an internship lined up, and he can’t wait to get on with the rest of his life.     And he’s got Jack. Oh, lordy, how could he forget Jack?     Jack who is currently waving at him from across the quad, waiting by the lake. Bitty has been saying his goodbyes to his parents, and now, he turns and heads over to him.     “Hey, you.”

yeah i don't have a lot to say about this one! it was okay! least words: would you love me less (if you knew the beds that i've been in)

Check, Please! (Webcomic), Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Kent "Parse" Parson/Jack Zimmermann

Eric Bittle, struggling baker, runner of a not so struggling premium snapchat, frequenter of the Seattle Fitness Center. Jack Zimmermann, history teacher, boyfriend of Kent Parson, frequenter of the Seattle Fitness Center. Kent Parson, part-time wedding planner, allosexual who's demisexual boyfriend has approved his porn habits but has no interest in partaking, frequenter of some blond twink's premium snapchat.

ZERO words baby!!!! that's what happens on the archive's backend when a fic is told ENTIRELY THROUGH FAKED SCREENSHOTS (and some gym membership cards)!!!!!! i wanna redo some of the things in here and also. you know. finish the entire fic. trust me it's GLORIOUS. if you click on nothing else in this post because you aren't into check please click on this and be proud of some of the edits. (not the reddit one i like. quarter assed that one rather than find a template) this is the fanwork of mine im most proud of i love it so much PLEASE ask me about it even if you haven't read check please i'll happily gush about the plot.

that is all sorry that this is literally NO wee woo content. tagging @evcndiaz @lucydonato @shitouttabuck @housewifebuck and anyone else who wants to do this!

[izzy-b-hands]

11V

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles! Except just the last one actually, and eventually another sort of vehicle! but that isn't nearly as catchy unfortunately.

More travel, a new plan, questionable food, booze spiked blood, and a disappearing act that ends up a reappearing act.

TW for alcohol, in blood specifically, mentions of a very old and bad sandwich, and unsanitary truck stop restroom conditions.

---

Izzy wakes to cool water on his aching, burning temple.

"You're alright," Ed murmurs. "Bullet scraped up the side of your forehead. Might scar some, but it'll look fucking cool, so that's something."

Izzy smiles weakly. "You almost had to learn what to do without me."

Ed stares at him. "I almost did."

"You and Stede would be okay."

"No, we wouldn't," Stede's voice joins them as he crawls to sit beside them in the middle row of seats. "I'm not okay right now as it is. I'm so sorry-"

"Is the fucker dead?"

Stede blinks, then nods. "We took care of him."

"To shreds," Ed says dreamily. "He won't be coming back from that."

Izzy sighs. "Good. Ed, where are we-"

"Jack has a contact at the coast," Ed interrupts. "They need someone to crew a replica ship for night and 'ghost tour' type tourist excursions. I used to sail, and Olu and Jim say they did too. The three of us will train everyone else and..."

He hesitates. "I know how it sounds. But we can lay low there for as long as we need, and make some extra money for the hell of it. If someone does come after us again for everything that happened, we'll just sail the fuck away!"

"Everyone is on board with this?" Izzy asks, wincing as Ed daps the damp cool cloth on his injury again.

Stede nods. "My crew is going to be a real crew! In a more original sense of the word...what do you say, Iz? Can't be any worse than driving from place to place."

He considers it. It certainly isn't worse, and he's never had the chance to work on a ship of any kind.

Ed had told him once that being turned was like gaining another life. It gave him time to explore and learn and see things he might not have otherwise.

"We should get going before the sun comes up," Izzy sighs. "We've a ways to go, for the coast. Sure they'd like us there sooner rather than later."

--

Each set of miles is a mutually held breath. Each truck stop at night an exhale.

In between, they feed, sitting on the ground or at concrete tables outside each truckstop entrance.

"Okay," Jim sighs. "Slim pickings, but we have chips and drinks and a sandwich but-"

"That's not a sandwich anymore," Izzy winces.

The plastic wrapped item is sandwich-shaped, but that's about all that signals it as one.

"Well," Jim starts defensively, then sighs. "It might be edible in bits though."

"Babe, it's got mold on it," Olu frowns.

"So?"

"On the outside of the wrapping," Olu continues. "I don't know if it can come back from that."

Jim nods. "Save it as bait for our meal?"

"Seems mean, but yeah, we could," Olu says. "Speaking of-"

"I got us covered," Jack grins and holds out four small silver flasks. "I forgot I had extra on the inside pockets of my coat!"

"Hang on," Ed catches Olu's hand as he reaches for one. "Are they...plain?"

"Nah, they got booze in 'em."

"I'm fine with that," Jim says.

Olu nods. "Better than plain, even."

Stede perks up. "If I put it in blood, I can still drink?"

Izzy laughs, though it hurts the slow healing wound on his head. "Yeah, you can. Jack almost exclusively eats that way."

"I do sponsorship shit for a couple brands of booze," Jack protests. "And I happen to really like their products! I'm a dedicated working man, Izzy."

"You're already tipsy," Izzy giggles. "Fuck, hand one over. After the last few days, I need it."

"Now," Ed shushes him. "It hasn't been that bad, and no one needs it exactly-"

"Yeah, but sometimes it can make things feel a hell of a lot better," Jack interrupts.

Ed nods. "That's true. And it has been shit, hasn't it?"

"We've murdered a good few people now, so it's not ideal," Olu notes, passing one of the flasks to Jim first.

"Is this anyone else's first murder?" The Swede, previously part of the security team for his ability to yell frighteningly in Swedish, asks. "Because it's my second, but this one feels so different."

"No, I know what you mean," Ed says. "Maybe it's because so many people saw? Usually people don't see me, with that. Izzy brings them home and..."

A brief silence falls, broken by Stede clearing his throat.

"You've murdered someone before, Swede?"

"I mean, we've all done it," Wee John nods.

Frenchie shakes his head as he digs into a small bag of chips. "Only pyramid schemes for me, and you know it. Nearly did kill one guy in Reno-"

"Is that why you keep telling people you can't go there to elope?" Olu asks.

Frenchie nods.

"Congrats!" Ed smiles. "Did we leave your fiancé back in town?"

"We're saving up," John replies. "He can't do Reno, and I can't do Miami."

"Any destinations in mind you guys don't have warrants in?" Jack asks. "Not trying to be rude, because that would be a short list for me personally, just curious."

Frenchie blushes. "New Orleans would be nice."

"It's expensive," John notes.

"Yeah, but there's an aquarium," Frenchie says. "We could get married in the aquarium!"

John smiles. "We could maybe keep it on the list then."

Jack passes another flask to Ed, while his other hand rifles through one of his interior jacket pockets.

"Here," Jack tosses John a wad of rolled cash. "It's all real, I promise. I can't make a daylight wedding, but I will bring a present to a night reception on Bourbon Street."

"Seriously?" Frenchie asks, peering over to examine the bills. "We can pay you b-"

"Nope," Jack cuts him off. "Consider it a wedding shower gift from me and the other vamps here, since I'm the only one with a current steady cash flow."

"Hey!" Stede cries, then frowns. "Oh. Oh right. Never mind."

"You'll get back to it," Buttons says, tearing into a stick of beef jerky.

"Where did he get that?" Stede asks, with a curious look to Izzy.

All he can do is shrug. At least Buttons has food.

Buttons swallows. "In another town, near the coast. Work the ship for a few years, then buy up something cheap and The Revenge will live again!"

Jack laughs and hollers. "I like this guy! Where did you get that though, fella?"

"We wanted to share."

Izzy turns, and takes a long sip as he stares up at the two men looking down at them.

He turns back as the mold covered sandwich nearly lands on top of him. There sits Jim, ready to bounce up and run.

"Fuck. That was supposed to hit them," they hiss, then in a shout:

"Scatter!"

--

"So," Izzy whispers. "We could have all probably just run for the van."

"Yeah," Jim replies. "That's what I meant. I thought it would be implied, but-"

"It's okay," Izzy says. "We all panicked."

"Wish we had panicked into different hiding spots," Ed grumbles. "Can they see the light from outside? I want to know what I'm touching here; why is it sticky?!"

"I think they can, and shut it!" Jack hisses. "They saw us all run in the same fucking bathroom anyway!"

"I actually do have to use the bathroom," Black Pete, the other member of The Revenge's security team, mumbles. "Whose shoe am I near right now?"

"Mine, and don't you dare," Olu whispers.

"I'm not gonna piss on your fucking shoe, man! I'm gonna aim around it near the toilet instead-"

"Lucius!" Jim whispers fiercely. "Help him!"

Lucius, Black Pete's boyfriend and self described 'bar float that floats to whichever person is drowning at the time', scoffs.

"How am I supposed to help him piss?! Just look outside and see if they're gone!"

Izzy grimaces as he leans his face and ear against the sticky, peeling metal door. "Let me listen-"

"We can hear fucking everything!"

He backs awkwardly onto Stede, out of room in the entirely too small one room, unisex bathroom.

"Come out and let that one guy use the fucking bathroom!"

Izzy looks back and shrugs as he flips the light switch. "Not like we can escape. We'll be out of your way in a minute, Pete."

They trail out, except for Pete, and face the two men again.

"Can I say my piece now?" the first says. "Or are you gonna throw another fucking gross sandwich at me?"

Not a word, and Izzy feels that's probably for their overall best.

"Okay then," the man continues. "I'm Ivan. This is my partner, Fang. Say hi, Fang."

Fang smiles sweetly, then hisses at them loud enough to make them jump.

"We were given an assignment," Ivan continues. "The Badminton family wants all of you dead. Police found Nigel's body-"

"What was left," Fang snickers.

"Right," Ivan nods. "And the family felt the police were taking their sweet time finding you all. We're a resource they occasionally use in times like this."

"Good, steady work," Ed smiles. "Admirable, and a very particular niche too!"

"Would you like to know what we do?" Ivan asks, pushing past Izzy and Stede to lean in to Ed's face.

"Enlighten me," Ed replies evenly, but his voice is ice cold. Izzy knows that particular tone, and tries to recall how many potential witnesses might be inside the showers of the stop.

"We make people disappear," Ivan replies, just as icily.

The bathroom door creaks open, and Pete steps out slowly.

"Ah. It's not going well."

--

Ivan and Fang join them in Wee John's van, directing him down seemingly random roads until their headlights are the only light pollution to be seen.

Fang directs them out of the van and into a field, trudging through sharp long grass.

"You know, you don't have to kill us," Lucius says. "Seems like a lot more work."

"Keen point," Jack adds. "I don't know about you two, but I love having less work."

"Who doesn't?!" Lucius cries. "So, we can all agree then-"

"Holy fuck, both of you shut u-"

Ivan pauses mid-step. As do they all, to take in each peculiarity of the scene.

Stede, his fangs stuck into the back of Ivan's neck, but not in far enough to feed.

Ivan, struggling to stay upright with the awkward weight of Stede hanging off of him.

"Sneak attack?" Izzy leans in and asks Stede.

"Yeagh," Stede manages.

"Okay," Izzy pats his back. "Maybe we can do some compromising now."

"Why would we do that?" Ivan asks.

"If you don't, my boyfriend will drain you," Izzy replies. "He could now, if he wanted."

"I can tell he can't," Ivan protests bluntly.

"You're in shock already," Izzy talks over him. "Shhh, it'll be over soon."

Izzy can feel Fang's eyes on him as he tries to push Ivan down so Stede can properly bite in.

He doesn't move though. Not even when Izzy finds himself trying to kick out Ivan's knees.

"You know," Fang muses. "Technically we don't have to kill them. The Badminton's paid us upfront, so as long as we come back with like...a chunk of someone's hair or some blood on a shirt as 'proof'..."

"Will you get your boyfriend out of my neck if I agree with that?" Ivan asks Izzy. "We let you live, and you get him out of my fucking neck, seriously, every time he wiggles I can feel his teeth moving in my neck, and-"

Izzy nods, and Lucius and Jack gently help Stede pry himself out of Ivan's neck.

Ivan shivers violently after, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Don't do that again, or I will kill you."

"In my defense, I tripped," Stede says.

"You fucking did not," Ivan scoffs. "Whatever, this isn't even fun anymore. Fang's right; they always pay upfront so as long as you swear to never go back-"

"Consider it done," Izzy interrupts. "Can we please go back to our van now?"

They trundle back to the van, oddly comfortably. Fang and Ivan make casual conversation, and things could be worse.

"Oh fuck no," Izzy murmurs as they near it. A figure near the back of the van steps out, and he has the worst feeling-

"I thought I killed him?" Stede asks. "Izzy, you saw him. Chauncey was dead!"

"We should have mentioned that," Fang winces. "Nigel turned Chauncey after you guys bolted, but I don't think he expected it to take with how far gone Chauncey was. I guess it worked."

"Looks like," Izzy sighs. He wants to rest somewhere that isn't the back of a van. He wants a shower, and to cuddle with Ed and Stede.

For now, he'll settle for killing Chauncey. Certainly better than nothing.

[afniel]

I can ride a horse more competently than I think, as evidenced by the time me, my brother, and our Weird Horse Girl Friend (who was the daughter of our mom's friend so we were just kind of proximity friends like that) all went for a ride one day on rental horses.

It was a slow day and just the three of us and Horse Girl Friend was talking to the guy in front about how much she loves horses and rides all the time and who the fuck knows what else, I wasn't paying attention. He somehow got the impression that all of us were Weird Horse G(ender)s and could ride, and without actually checking, decides to take us off-trail.

So we go through a shallow river for some reason and my horse wants nothing to do with this shit, and I don't either and he can tell, so he barely manages to cross after much coaxing. Like an idiot, I haven't figured out that I can just say no to things. This is just what's happening to me now. It's fine. My horse would eat my ankles if he could reach them because he's not a fan of any of this and it's probably my fault, and I'm just here for the ride like, yeah sure okay let's go run through a river I guess, why not.

The terrain sucks and I think horse leader guy is beginning to suspect I don't know what I'm doing, but I've also got the horse that you can't make do jack shit and everyone knows it, so this is actually hiding the fact that I'm confused as shit. Horse guy apologizes for giving me the stubborn one. I'm conflict averse to an extreme at this age (about 14) so I'm like, oh he's fine, I can handle him, I've ridden worse, which is technically true but unfortunately makes me sound competent and like this horse is just being extra bratty today.

This was a mistake because he decides that what we should do is ride way up in the hills, which is cool, but then at the end we should come back down, which is much less cool. He picks a spot that's damn near vertical as far as I can tell and somehow, I am standing up in my stirrups so that I don't fall off while this horse who doesn't like me or anybody reluctantly slides down a greater than 45° incline made mostly of mud, because of course it was.

My life flashed before my eyes and it was very short, which was a problem.

We got back to the stable slightly bleeding from having ridden through a bunch of sticks, covered in mud and burrs, with Horse Girl having had the best day of her life and not shutting up about how cool that was, and my brother and I both looking like we'd almost died, and I'm pretty sure that's why we never rode anywhere again with Weird Horse Girl.

This is significantly less than I've injured myself riding bikes though so I might statistically be better on horses. I've actually ridden bareback once. I don't remember why or where but I do remember it was surprisingly not that hard and I liked it better than all the tack, go figure.

[autumn-foxfire]

Movie 17! I've only watched this one once and can't remember jack shit about it. Lets see if that is a bad sign.

Movie Ran is my favourite. Tell Kogoro off for not being a responsible adult queen!

Kogoro is just embarrassing himself a lot in this movie, isn't he?

Lol Shinichi pulling his face at the bullshit excuse given. He's the king of bullshit excuses after all.

Women trying to hide her true job: I ...uh... work in the kitchens (really breaking those glass ceilings)

Agasa just wanted to know how the children enjoyed the quiz T-T And Shinichi was cruel and hung up on him.

Lol was that Shinichi they noticed?

Shinichi: I need the toilet!

Ran, knowing his game: Oh no you fucking don't.

Ahhh, we're back to past moments between Shinichi and Ran used as foreshadowing. Well it was nice to see Shinichi again!

A wild Heiji appears!

Okay, Kogoro saluting because everyone else was is kind of funny.

Once again, Sonoko is more obsessed with Shinichi than Ran is. I'm starting to believe she's the one with a crush XD

That was actually a cute interaction between Shinichi and Ran. I am shocked. I guess the writers can make them cute if they don't try to force it.

Shinichi when he sees the woman: Oh no you don't, spying on cases is MY job.

How many crimes has Shinichi committed in this movie alone? I'm pretty sure he just stole highly confidential data from the military.

How do we tell the military that their is two spies on board XD And one is a child.

LMAO They're just not even hiding it from Kazuha. Just accept the small girl is a scientist.

Shinichi just completely dropped the pretense of being a child.

They could have sent someone to inform Ran about his location so she wouldn't worry so much T-T She is his primary caretaker as we all know Kogoro is not fit for the role.

Does Ran get to be awesome? Yes, she does. I adora when Ran gets to show off how skilled she is, especially when you consider who she was fighting against. This is why RAN SHOULD KNOW.

Kazuha sadly doesn't get to show off her skills.

Satou must be wondering what the fuck just happened. One moment the spy had jumped off and suddenly he's flying back up towards her.

Sonoko loves Ran so much. She just fully broke down at hearing Ran could die. Meanwhile our strong protagonist isn't allowed to have any emotion even though his love interest is dying. Oh. He was allowed a fucking tear. Wow.

BULL.SHIT.

Damn this was a pretty decent movie up until this point. I wish it had been all of them crying for her that reached her, especially the person having a FULL ON BREAKDOWN. Sonoko you deserve better.

Also it was because of Kogoro and Mitsuhiko her life was saved.

Sorry women, he won't even tell his "love interest" you have no hope of learning who he is.

[voasprofile]

mean girls in twisted wonderland and yuu who's somewhat a mix of the og mean girls

I say somewhat cause yuu wasn't really given that much personality

yuu is kind of a theater kid but again wasn't given much personality so it doesn't really show all that much

also reader is gn but does 'feminine' things like apply lipgloss and all that shit

pt.2 here

"what do you mean 'what's mean girls?'" I asked the first years looking offended

"what do you mean 'what do you mean what's mean girls?'?" ace countered "it's exactly means what I said" this back talking mf

"you guys have not lived yet" I looked them up and down "and it shows"

"what's that supposed to mean?" epel asked

"it means-" I mean I was going to explain but some pomefiore background character decided they wanted more screen time

"hey! first year the dormleader's looking for you" he yelled at epel almost as loud as sebek. I applaud him clap clap

"oh my god that vest is SO cute where'd you get it?" I leaned in on the table

"oh- um it was my dad during his time here" he answered

"vintage! so adorbs" I smiled at him "thanks" he smiled walking away

"that was the ugliest effin vest I've ever seen" I whispered at them

epel laughed so did ace deuce looked mortified jack... well he was a wee bit disappointed and sebek wasn't even paying attention

"hhhhhhhhh what?" epel whispered at me after getting ahold of himself. he wanted sum of that tea

I leaned in further so they could hear me whispering

"yeah, did you know so many people trust me in this school? not knowing I stockpile their secrets" I covered my mouth looking around for any signs of anyone listening, once I knew I was clear

"yeah, you guys know that one guy from heartslabyul? the one with almost white hair? yeah he has a girlfriend that he's cheating on with a guy from scarabia" I leaned back

"really? I knew it, he portrays himself way to innocently for it to be true" ace said

another background character came to the table but this time I was the one they're looking for

"hey uh yuu, can you forget about the thing I said earlier this week? I changed my mind on it" he asked scratching the back of his neck

"oh no no don't you worry, it will just be our little secret" I smiled up at him

"thank you so much, I owe you one!" he said leaving

they looked at me

"I wasn't lying about people trusting me y'know?" I said laughing

"but like seriously? you guys don't have mean girls, ugh your guy's life suck" I said re applying my lip gloss

"but anyways I like have it downloaded on my phone, if you guys know anyone who knows how to transfer files from an other worldly phone to a laptop, give them a call" a favour for a favour

actually me showing them the absolute treasure mean girls, they should owe me

apparently epel knew a guy who knew a guy who knew ortho who's idia, the ignyhides dorm leader 

it didn't take much convincing idia we happened to play together a couple of times when I was gaming on the phone I, ME bought NOT CROWLEY

turns out he was really techy

anyways he transferred the movie to MY laptop y'know the one I bought with MY money. he even taught me how to do it

I offered for him and ortho to watch with us, but he refused saying 'there'd be too much people'

I didn't force him but ortho wanted to come so me and ortho went to sam's to buy a couple of snacks for the movie 

then back to ramshackle we go

we waited

first to come was jack and sebek holding a couple bottles of pop

then epel with a few apple desserts

then adeuce combo with a few pasties and ace with more chips

before any of that I mad all of them wear sheet masks not excluding ortho ofc I just squeezed it a bit more to not damage anything on his face

so begins the movie

"he reminds me of the creep flirtin with everyone in the cafe" epel pointed out Jason almost throwing a handful of chips at the laptop

"real, poor gretchen imagine someone you like flirting with someone else in front of you" jack said chewing on some pie

"how disgraceful" sebek murmured sipping on his cup

"shhh" ace said

I smiled. I'm in the process of making some mean girls out of them

at the end of the movie everyone was satisfied

"ugh if I were the bus driver I would've ran them over" ace said

three fourths to the movie everyone forgot about the food so now were finishing them off

"would it be ok for me to download this to send to nii san? ortho asked. somebody bless this child

"of course, wanna send him another movie?" I asked

"there's another movie?" sebek asked

"well yeah but it's not a franchise, some people say this was the film to inspire mean girls" I said to them "wanna watch it?"

everyone agreed it was too early to turn in anyways

heathers ah my love

"which one do you guys wanna watch the movie or the musical?"

we ended up watching both

it was funny when we were watching dead girl walking and suddenly all the comments stopped then resumed after the song

I covered ortho's eyes and ears dw

next day we were having lunch again

I was looking at the back of a candy bar with a confused look "it's all in like swedish or something"

epel caught on "yeah y'know there's some weird ingredient in there that's not legal here"

"hmm ephedrine?" I said already chewing "no" he said

"phentermine" I approved "no" he denied

I looked at him confused

"it burns carbs, it just burns up all your carbs" he said"

"hm I really wanna lose three pounds" I said looking at them raising my eyebrows

there was a pause

"oh my god what are you talking about" sebek said

"you're so skinny" deuce added

"shut up" I told them

every body else close enough to hear's pov

drama? first year drama?

lol

soon jack epel and I left the table to mingle with others. jack in savanaclaw with his upperclassmen, same with epel and pomefiore, and I went to diasomnia

and then my phone rings

"you're on speaker" ace whispers

"epel, jack thinks you're mad at him because he got nominated prettiest in the freshman yearbook" deuce said

"oh my god I'm not mad at him, I'm worried about him. I think someone is pulling a joke on him, I mean if no one votes for him, he's gonna have a total meltdown. and who's gonna have to comfort him? me."

"so you don't think he'll get in?" ace asked

"deuce ace, he's not pretty. I know that sounds bad but whatever, the prettiest freshman is always y'know pretty. the crazy thing is it should be yuu, but everyone forgets them because they're such a slut, anyway I got to go, I'm going to class" epel 'hung up'

"well he's not mad at you" ortho told jack

"hold on" he told all of them "are you okay" deuce asked "shh" he switched the line to call me

my phone 'rings' again, and then I put it on speaker

"hello?" "if someone said something bad to you, you'd want me to tell you right?" jack asked

"mmm no" I said "what if it was someone you thought was your friend?" he pressed on

I got annoyed "what are you-? hold on other line" I said taking the call

"hello?" "let's go out" sebek said "hold on I'm on the other line with jack" I said "don't invite him, he's driving me nuts" "okay hold on" "good hurry up" I went back to jack

"it's sebek, he wanted to hang out and told me not to invite you" "do not hang out with him" jack said "why?" I said annoyed "oh you wouldn't want me to tell you" "ugh you can tell me, hold on" I switched over "oh my god he is so annoying" "who is?" I widened my eyes "who's this?" I asked "jack" he responded "right, hold on" I switched

"oh my god he is so annoying" I told sebek "I know just get rid of him" I switched

"okay what is it?" I asked jack "sebek said everybody forgets about you because you're such a slut" he said "he said that?" I asked offended "you didn't hear it from me" I switched lines

"I can't go out ehe ehe I'm sick" I told sebek "boo you whore" he said hanging up

I wore an offended expression and left the cafeteria. actually everyone in the call left the cafe

the one's who heard couldn't help but feel surprised, the first years? fighting? 

rumors quickly spread

[zero-is-nebulous]

Okay this is so real but it's even more tragic the more you think about it and the other options we're left with as a result and I NEED to talk about it sorry OP

If Aziraphale was being controlled (coffee theory), it's tragic bc just IMAGINE Zira waking up from his haze and just, REALISING what happened. Like I agree with you, it does NOT seem in character at all and especially the way he seems almost overly aware after the kiss could have been a sign. Also I've been seeing coffee cup insignia on some (official? Don't quote me) art, as well as the EMPHASIS on that scene?? Sus

Anyway the REAL tragedy comes in when you assume WITHOUT the coffee scene because, and some people forget this, these two are 6000 years worth of complex character developments. Imagine how much humans can change over about 80 years, and now look at these two beautiful tragedies

Aziraphale has a relationship with heaven that is simular to that of a toxic home life. They constantly bully him, he's the black sheep of the family and yet he's the ONLY one who's really an angel. Apart from maybe Muriel (name??) But that also shows you JUST how toxic heaven is because. Omfg. They know JACK. SHIT. about earth. Proven by the whole teenage child bit, and also they just treat everyone with actual goodness like absolutely awfully for no reason. Its almost as if they know what they're supposed to be like and envy the ones oblivious or STRONG enough to maintain true angelic goodness

Like we know AZ has sinned in the common 21 century human sense (sloth, lack of faith, gluttony, also he fell in love with a demon and thas probly in the bible somewhere) but he is, fundamentally, GOOD.

Anyway, he's treated like rubbish by his only "family". They give him a scrap of attention and love and promise things will change and he believes it because he's a tragic hero and his tragic FLAW is that he's too kind. Too optimistic. He is told things will change and beleivs it. He wants to fix things, and he's so eager to join heaven again because he believes that there's a chance to fix the broken system. He cannot in good faith run away like Gabriel and B did because he cannot leave the humans he cares for to suffer at the hands of an injust system

He wanted Crowley to join him because he can't do it without him. And he's so happy that he can bring him too because it means they can have the consequence free life they WANTED. Also I see a lot of "he knew crowley wouldn't like that''s so may I remind you of:

He did think of that, he said "I don't think he'd like that" or smth of the sort to meta-mind head guy (often used to explain coffee theory [more he drinks the less in control he is])

He doesn't think he doesn't belong to heaven, he genuinely thinks that he could stop heaven from treating him like shit if he was amongst them again

The way they both miscommunicated was insane like actually.

Aziraphale thinks of this not as "fixing" crowley, or fundementaly changing him, but moving him to a place he is safer. Aziraphale wants to fix heaven FOR crowley, and wants him by his side while he does this bc it'd just be a lot easier let's be real

Anyway their entire argument was this:

Crowley: I love you, come with me, stay with me. We can live in peace, without heaven or hell

Aziraphale: I love you, come with me, stay with me. We can live safely, without fear from heaven or he'll coming after us anymore

I'm so tired so let me end this on a finishing statement (it's probably going to be a long one)

Aziraphale is clever. He wouldn't do this without reason and, while I respect and can see the appeal of the coffee theory (ily OP for the piece of the fandom you represent, as is to say you're valid for your theories don't take this as a slight) I personally LOVE the idea that he did it on purpose a lot more because it explores the complexity of his character. Like he wants to save Crowley for once. He wants life to be safe forever. He's so good he can't stand by and let things go to shit (he knows they will without him, armagedan part 2 electric boogaloo) and most of all he wants crowley safe for GOOD this time. People talk about how Azi should apologise and how much they hate him now and I'm defending him like this

Because while yeah he does need to apologise for the way the whole thing came across, they BOTH did nothing wrong. And should be slapped gently on the shoulder for not saying things bluntly. Azi is my favourite subject to analyse because he's so much more than a lot of people see him for. And I love that

Also fr, Azi doesn't even drink coffee. If meta ass even KNEW him at all (like crowley, who tidied his bookshop for him and queued their music in the bentley) he would have gotten him tea, which I know that Nina does because of that one scene with Maggie. So, fuck you mutatron you're like a surprise divorce attorney who they don't pay enough

What if

What if he was being controlled by the metatron??? He kept hesitating to go, he didn’t want to, he was about to say something he wanted to bring with him but stopped and was completely fine. Aziraphale would NOT react like that to losing Crowley, definitely not by his own will, anyway. Think about it, would the voice of god really let an arch angel love a demon??? Fuck no. He was using that to get aziraphale back into heaven to control him. My point? Metatron Kys

[mushroomsandmandalas]

Thoughts on T&B2.2

SPOILERS!! SO MANY SPOILERS FOR T&B2 cour 2

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T&B2.2 did lots of folks dirty, but for Yuri, they reserved a truckload of filth.

Part 4/4

Unless…

The only, and I mean the only way Yuri's arc makes sense is if there’s a Season 3, which I doubt will happen because Netflix is hemorrhaging money and the after-credit ending shot hammered home the finality of it. I could be wrong, but I don’t think so. If we do get S3, Yuri could very well be alive.

K&B didn’t recognize Yuri when his helmet disintegrated. His scar, which is all in his head, didn’t obscure his face, no. The camera pans between B&K and Yuri and shows that, repeatedly, Yuri was backlit, meaning his face was in the dark. K even says, Lunatic, not, Director. Yuri’s secret identity is still safe.

Also, when his suit was sliced so the NEXT could control him, notice how the edges of the cut glowed purple? Which means his suit was a nano-suit. Which means he had decent protection, possibly against abrupt impacts. Yes, he was bleeding a lot, but that's not a death sentence. I don't buy he offed himself because of grievous wounds.

It was also very clearly shown in Season 1 that he can drop from great heights and disappear into flames. B&K never saw Yuri vanish in flames. Knowing how dramatic Yuri is, our guy faked his death, or was just heading home, cause he's done that before. If had had killed himself, his nano-suit, which is fireproof, would have floated down to the water. That woulda convinced me he was dead.

All this drama would actually make the healing arc episode drama pay off, that he “killed” Lunatic, put all his sins into that persona, then ended him, figuratively. I mean, he wasn’t like, I’m dying now, peace out, guys, though the blood loss implied that. What he said was that both he and K should stay true to their justice, which could mean killing himself, his Lunatic persona, or just staying his course. Contextually speaking, I'm guessing the latter.

Also, the pain of being burned alive woulda been unbearable—he woulda been screaming the whole way down, just like every single one of his victims.

IF we get S3, I could totally see an opening shot of the Justice Bureau, then Yuri's office with Heroes standing in front of it saying how much they'll miss him. And our guy's in there, packing his office up because his ass quit. No more living a life he hates.

He's going vigilante fulltime, maybe in another city, probs with a new vigilante persona. That makes sense, what with him understanding and accepting himself, and following his true sense of justice that now includes ending oppression. Buuuut, that's a good story to tell, so we won't be getting that, lol.

There are so many loose ends, S3 could happen if there’s money and interest. But my gut says this is goodbye forever. I’m pissed as hell they wasted an entire 13 episodes on a stupid arc that did next to nothing to resolve or forward jack shit and left it pretty clear the series was done. Blergh.

I’ll hold my TED (Totally Educational Diatribe) Talk soon on how they did our mains dirty.