#trolls stay out of my posts no one wants you around

[eriathalia]

This has been buried in my drafts for weeks. Finally was able to finish it and...umm it's loud, it's funky, it's weird, I love it, and yes I dared giving him a tiny bit of pudge around the middle cuz this old man ain't hittin' the gym. Period. *goes and hides*

[dragonnarrative-writes]

Transferrable Skills Part 2

Transferrable Skills Masterlist

You don’t often use your MyFet beyond finding a group or conference to attend. You periodically clear out your messages, just in case an acquaintance wants to reach out. So you almost delete the message from the anonymous profile on autopilot, but the subject line intrigues you.

Interested in Distance Play, No Punishments - 14 Hrs Ago

Intrigued, you open it because… at least they read a little bit of your profile.

I noticed your profile because of your self-rope pictures. The rest of your profile is very interesting to me - specifically your engagement in solo play and dislike of punishment. I liked the post you made about obedience as an ongoing active choice.

I’m a man in my 30s with a classified job. I travel a lot, and I’m looking for someone to have a strictly long-distance arrangement with. I’m interested in: non-restrictive rope, obedience, behavior modification, praise. I’m sure there’s more, but I’ve written this message six times. Please let me know if you’re interested in discussing.

Well, that’s refreshingly straightforward and devoid of unsolicited smut. You read the message again, then click into his profile. G_987654321_ It’s… pretty bare. But if he’s got a classified job, that makes sense, right? Location: Antarctica. His age is listed as 33, and he’s listed himself as dominant and seeking acquaintances and play partners. Not interested in hookups, interested in casual nudity, obedience, praise. Hard limits of degradation and humiliation.

It’s not much more information than the message itself, but it’s more than some of the men who have asked if you want to meet up in private. You review his original message and bite your knuckle. Worst case scenario, he’s some troll who will call you a range of slurs and waste your time, and then you’ll block him. Best case scenario… he means what he says.

What are you looking for? Who, What, When, Where, and Why?

You send the message and log out of the app before you can chicken out. Your inner voice is grumbling (stupid stupid stupid), but that’s normal. You let yourself watch two and a half episodes of your latest show, and then make a hearty dinner.

You’re surprised when you pick your phone back up. One new message.

The whole time you’re cursing the app for glitching and logging you out and forgetting your password, you’re sure it’s not him. Most likely, it’s an event announcement from a friend or a bot. But you like going to events, so it’s worth it.

It’s a message. It’s from him.

Who: You and Me What: Praise-based, goal-oriented obedience play When: Twice weekly when we’re both available, but I won’t always be available. Sometimes weekly, sometimes a greater time between meet ups. Where: Virtual meetings. Video preferred, audio-only acceptable. First couple of discussions will be text based until I can get secure video set up. Why: Mutual relaxation and well being. Sexual connection preferred, but obviously not required.

Having a guide was helpful. Thank you.

Well… That’s something.

—

You follow Simon towards the fighting, which is not where you wanted to go. When you point this out, he barely acknowledges except to say “You don’t want to go the other way.” So you keep low and stay quiet and breathe like he told you to.

He leads you down a few halls and you don’t bother trying to remember the route. He seems to know where he’s going. One or twice he has you stop while he checks around a corner, but eventually, he herds you into a small conference room. You freeze when you see three men, but Simon drops the muzzle of his gun to the floor, so you must not be in too much danger.

“Who’s this then?” A man in tactical vest and boonie hat steps forward, and you sidle behind Simon before you know your feet are moving. He gives you a considering look before looking to Simon.

The man in question fishes you out from behind his and plants you in front of him with a heavy hand on your shoulder. “Found Bambi wandering the halls.”

Boonie Hat’s eyebrows pop up. “Bambi?”

“’Bout scared the piss out o’me,” Simon confirms.

“Well, that throws a wrench in things,” the other man says. “But there’s nothing for it. Stow her for now, we’ll keep her safe.”

Simon’s hand guides you to the other side of the large table and pushes you gently into a plush rolling chair. He puts his huge body between you and the others, who look at you curiously,

“Eyes up, li’l fawn,” he intones.

You aren’t sure how well you hide the flinch when you see the skull covering his face, again. He’s quiet as you look between his eyes, clasps his gloved hands in his lap so you can see them when you look over him.

There’s a lot of him to look over.

Now that you’re not moving, you can see the brown spots on the edge of his mask, flecked on his tactical vest. His thighs spread a bit beneath his black pants where they meet the table. His biceps bulge, which is a whole different experience in person than it is online. Theres a gun on his hip, and a knife. Two knives. Three. How many knives does a man need?

Enough for everyone’s throats. You have to bite back terrified giggles.

“You’re gonna stay ‘ere,” Simon tells you, interrupting your musing. Your horror must be plain on your face because he shushes you, again. “Shhh. Easy. This wing’s secure. Can’t keep you safe if I’m wonderin’ where you’ve wandered to. Acknowledge.”

“What if something goes wrong?” you blurt.

“You follow Price if you can't see or ‘ear me. ‘e's the Captain, outranks me,” Simon answers. He points to Boonie Hat, then to the black man, who smiles at you, and a white man with a mohawk, who looks at you like you’re the most fascinating thing he’s seen all day. “This is Gaz, that's Soap. You can't find the Captain, you sit tight and wait for one of them to retrieve you."

“But-!”

“Acknowledge, Bambi.”

You swallow back tears. “Please don’t leave me alone.”

“’M goin’ where the guns are,” he answers. “’S my job to take care of you, right? Acknowledge.”

It’s hard to get the words out, but you do. “Acknowledged. You have to take care of me.”

“’M not always going to be able to do that the way you want. Acknowledge.”

“Acknowledged. Not always the way I want.”

“’M gonna keep you safe as I can,” he says. “’Nd it’s okay that you’re scared. But this is my job. ‘S not a scene. So I can’t negotiate. Acknowledge.”

“It’s your job,” you say, taking a deep breath and letting it out. Unfortunately, you can feel the day catching up with you, and your eyes start to prickle. “It’s not a scene, we can’t negotiate right now. Acknowledged.”

The one called Gaz approaches from the other side of the table. “Ghost, we’ve got to get moving.”

Before you can integrate the realization that Simon is apparently called Ghost, the other one, Soap, peeks around Simon’s shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “This your bird, LT? Le’s get her tucked away, aye?”

Something about the way he asks if you are Simon’s bird, his girl, flips a switch in your brain. Because you’re not Simon’s girl. You’re not even supposed to have ever met in person. You’re an online sub, a weird, awkward, anxious person who couldn’t find an in person connection. And yeah, Simon-Also-Called-Ghost is an online Dom but apparently that’s because he’s running around Europe rescuing people from hostage situations!

It’s a little much.

You suck in a breath through your mouth as everything gets blurry with tears. Your whole body shakes with the sob that you try not to let out. You simultaneously want to lock every muscle in place and curl up on the ground to die.

A hiccup shakes you hard enough that you almost fall out of your chair.

Simon’s gloved hand grips the back of your head, and you’re guided to press your forehead against his thigh.

"Shhhhh," he whispers, and you can almost pretend that you’re listening to him in your ear from thousands of miles away. His pants are tough and scratchy, nothing like your pillow, but the steady pressure of his hand is so steadying. "It's okay. I know this isn't a scene, but the same rules apply. You feel overwhelmed, don’t know what to say, you hold up 4 fingers. No punishments for feeling something. Show me."

Holding up 4 fingers feels familiar. The way his hand cups the back of your skull doesn't. But it's still nice.

Sooner than you’d like, Simon guides you down off the chair and under the table. You can’t pay attention to the others, though you can see their boots on the other side of the room. Instead, you keep your eyes on his his right hand, stuck on the inane detail of skeleton themed gloves. Your dom wears skeleton gear to work. His work is killing some people and saving others.

That hand cups your chin and makes you look up into his face. His eyes are dark, piercing. His voice, when he speaks, sends shiver down your spine. “Stay. Acknowledge.”

You’re already about as low down as you can get, but you still duck your head as much as you can while keeping eye contact. “Acknowledged. Stay.”

His thumb caresses your cheek for a long moment. And then he’s standing. Chairs are pushed in to surround you, and four pairs of heavy boots dash from the room.

You curl up, hug yourself, and let the tears fall.

You wake up with a start. Your whole body hurts, shoulder and neck and hips tight like they haven’t been in a long time. And of course they are. You’re on the ground, lying under a conference table. Why the hell are you under a conference table? You’re not in college anymore, you’re too old for this shit.

And then you see a pair of huge boots round the edge of the table and remember.

Your heart is in your throat as two chairs are shifted away and a huge form drops into a crouch. A part of you flinches back from the mask, the tactical clothing, the blood you almost can’t see shining on his boot. But then you see those eyes and think, Oh. You came back for me.

[lesbianralzarek]

tumblr in reddit terms

blogs: personal subreddits where the theme/topic is 99% of the time just “me and whatever the hell i feel like at the moment”. for reference, the most common other theme rn is “wizard roleplay that never breaks character”

reblogs: crossposts. these are crucial to maintaining tumblr’s ecosystem. due to blogs generally having fewer followers than subreddits have subscribers, this is the way that posts get seen and passed around. the vast majority of posts on a person’s blog tend to be reblogs, so if the people you follow dont reblog a whole lot, your dashboard is gonna be a ghost town. post limit (combined total of reblogs and original posts per day) is 250, so feel free to go hog wild

tags: this one is complicated. theyre a combination of flairs and Comments But Low-key. you can use them for organization and to avoid seeing content you dont want to (go to your blog, settings, account settings, content you see, and then add tags you want tumblr to warn you about before seeing it). if op tags the post #reddit (in the tags, not the body of the post), itll show up in the #reddit tag when anyone searches that tag. tags are also used for comments that dont really add anything to the post. you know how a jpeg gets kinda gross when its been through a million screenshots and has ifunny watermarks and shit? thats what adding “lmao same” as a comment does to a post. comments stay on reblogs, while tags show up in 4 places: op’s notifications, the notifs of whoever you reblogged it from, when someone clicks on the “notes” button of a post and actively looks for the tags left on it, and when people view your specific reblog of the post (like a follower would on their dashboard)

likes: upvotes but weaker. almost everyone turns off all the algorithms (settings, account settings, dashboard preferences, toggle off the first 3 options. also, make sure your dashboard is on "following" and not "for you". this is highly recommended), so leaving a like doesnt boost the post in any way. they still matter to some people. you can also use them to bookmark a post and go back to your likes later

enthusiastic and/or hyperbolic tags: reddit gold. you wanna let op know you like their art? leave something like ”#printing this out and stapling it to my forehead #op you wanna get married?” in the tags

pornbots: both reddit and tumblr have an issue with them. we block and report them on sight. they usually have hot women as their icons, no posts or reblogs, and a description like “22, brazil, nurse <3″. try to not look like that if you dont wanna get blocked by everyone you follow

blocking: you have this as well, but it seems like a bigger deal on reddit. the reason we are not twitter is because we block bitches who annoy us and move on with our day. do not feed the trolls

things we dont have:

karma: clout-chasing is The Most embarrassing thing you can possibly do on this site. we are all in this circus together and the clown who gets the most laughs is still a clown. popular users will literally deactivate sometimes because clout is a burden. no one here makes money

[thewertsearch]

@manorinthewoods asked: Vriska and Eridan have now killed one person each. Tavros and Feferi's respective moons have been destroyed; as such, they cannot be revived via dream selves or the moon-crypt slabs. What do you think will happen now? ~LOSS (18/5/24) @manorinthewoods asked: Welcome to Murderstuck, aka Homestuck's version of Canaan House. Who do you think's going to survive this? ~LOSS (22/5/24) Anonymous asked: tavros and feferi are D----EAD! do you think they'll stay dead? you've already stated your opinion that there are death flags like crazy all over vriska, so do you think anyone else will die? if so, who? Anonymous asked: Now that the bodies have started to hit the floor, what's your prediction for who's gonna survive to meet the humans?

I'm actually doing to do something a little different this time, and analyze the situation primarily from an author's perspective, rather than an in-universe one. I had a lot of fun doing that with yesterday's Kanaya post, so I want to try it again.

Let's enumerate the remaining trolls, in ascending order of how likely I think they are to kick the bucket (😳) during Murderstuck.

There's no chance whatsoever that Sollux will die. His Doom prophecy is fulfilled, and if he were to die a third time, it would break his long-established duality theme. Plus, he'd have predicted it, and would have been complaining about it since Hivebent. He's fine.

Death flag score: 0/10.

We just got Aradia back. She's not even involved in Murderstuck, seemingly travelling to the Furthest Ring after being resurrected, so none of the murderers can touch her anyway.

Aradia is a powerful time manipulator who can freeze even the most dangerous enemies. It would take a lot more than Eridan and Gamzee to defeat someone who can stalemate Perfect Jack, and I predict that she'll survive the rest of the Act with ease.

Plus, killing her again so soon would feel really cheap. Been there, done that.

Death flag score = 0.5/10

Karkat and Terezi are too important to die.

This doesn't always guarantee a character's survival - A Song of Ice and Fire comes to mind - but ASOIAF kind of proves my point, doesn't it? Martin can throw all the Red Weddings he likes at us, but everyone still kind of knows that the really important characters aren't going to die until their arcs are complete. If A Dream of Spring ever actually comes out, Daenerys will still be around, and you can take that to the bank.

So no, I don't think Karkat and Terezi will be going anywhere. Now that Kanaya appears to be dead, they're undeniably the most important trolls remaining, alongside Vriska. And we'll get to Vriska.

Death flag score: 1/10.

I know it's weird to predict that an already deceased character won't die, but I wrote an entire post last night about why I believe this to be the case.

tl;dr: it doesn't make narrative sense for Kanaya to stay dead.

Death flag score: 2/10.

Now, we're onto the characters who I think might actually die.

Gamzee's still alive at the end of the countdown, so he'll at least survive the next couple of hours.

Certainly, his position seems rather precarious. His stated intent to wipe out the entire Veil will make him a lot of enemies very quickly - and based on the image above, he clearly gets into some sort of trouble. That scratch almost looks like it could be the work of Jack's sword.

However, I have a hard time believing the Most Important Character In Homestuck is going to die less than halfway through Homestuck. He's been saying all sorts of cryptic nonsense lately, and he strikes me as someone whose role in the story will expand even more than it already has. Gamzee is the one character on this list we know will stay relevant for the entire comic.

I don't think he's going to achieve his murder mission, of course. I think he'll probably be 'defeated' somehow, and expelled from the Veil by the surviving trolls, only to pop up again sometime later. There's still a chance that he'll be killed - but if he is, I'm 100% sure that he'll return in some form. Gamzeesprite would be even worse than Calsprite, in my opinion.

Death flag score: 3/10.

Yes, I still believe Vriska will die - but I don't know if she'll die in Murderstuck.

Scratch positioned her as someone who will perpetuate a monumental, large-scale mistake, and I don't think there's anything she could do on the Veil that fits the bill.

However, Vriska is more imaginative than I am. She could easily pull a trick out from up her sleeve that I didn't see coming - some terrible, horrible idea that earns all of Scratch's foreshadowing in one fell swoop. Vriska is known for her Incidents, and you never know when the next one is on the horizon.

Death flag score: 4/10.

There's not a lot tying Equius and Nepeta to the Veil, is there?

They don't have strong relationships any of the remaining trolls, and even among the B-team, they've barely had any prominence since we've left Alternia. Killing one or both of them would up the stakes of Murderstuck without introducing the narrative issues that, say, a dead Karkat would cause.

Plus, if one of them dies, then the other would immediately gain an incredibly strong motivation, and become a more prominent character overnight. I already like Nepeta - but a heartbroken, vengeful Nepeta hunting Eridan down across time and space? That's a fucking arc.

They could also both die, and return to the story from another direction. It hasn't escaped my notice that almost all the 'important' trolls are Prospit Dreamers, and the two Furthest Ring explorers are Derse girls. I've been wondering for a while now if the solution to the Veil's bloated cast is to split the trolls back into the Red and Blue Teams, with the Red Team joining the kids outside the session, and the Blue Team joining Aradia in the Ring for some secondary mission. I guess that implies Tavros will be resurrected, but there do seem to be hints that that might happen.

I don't want either of these two to die, but... well, killing them would raise a lot of interesting possibilities.

Death flag score (both of them together): 6/10

Death flag score (one of them) : 7.5/10.

Eridan is screwed.

Neither the story nor the trolls can allow him to ally with Jack and lead him to the Veil, and they'll do anything they can to stop him. I don't think anyone's inclined to show him mercy, either - Kanaya and Feferi were very popular.

I don't really see any way out for him. He has no allies, he can't Hopesplode everyone at once, and he's never shown himself to be particularly resourceful. I think if there's one troll practically guaranteed to be Murderstucked, it's him.

Death flag score: 9/10.

[biancadoes1]

Sorry if this has been asked already but does anyone know the deal with beautifulstranger996 on TT and what’s going on over there where she could be in legal trouble because of fake accusations against a few creators.

- https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhGhp2K6/

I’m not 100% sure but this beautifulstranger996 might be the one who tried to doxx Caroline too. Before she went private I had seen some of the stuff she posted and it was pretty defamatory.

I've seen that page on TT and she's deranged af. She stays on private until she posts a video (usually after something Lukola related happens) lighting up a few well known fandom TikTokers (except for a select few 👀) to troll.

Tagging Nicola and Luke's sister in the majority of them? JVN once too. But most recently Charmaine. Noemi, Antonia's friend, and that India chick have been mentioned as well. Noemi even bookmarked one of the videos. It also seems, like within the past few hours, that Charmaine and Noemi have been tagged in the comments of a good number of videos.

It's odd though. They never tag Antonia and it's weird because this is the TT account that started the bullshit married in Cyprus rumors around the time Luke posted his BRB IG story. She deleted these stories but luckily I've obtained screenshots. Let's air her out shall we?

Troll behavior. Plain and simple. But she deleted these for one reason or another. Perhaps when she found out she looked like a fucking dumb ass? Possibly. Here's more screenshots from deleted posts.

She turned her attention to Sharon on TT. Sharon is well known for her analysis. Some people think she's reaching with her videos and some don't. Regardless, the fact that this BS bitch comes so hard for her and certain creators is weird.

In conclusion, THIS BITCH IS CRAY.

The fact that this person either can't spell at all, doesn't speak English fluently or is purposefully mixing up the spelling on these posts adds to the psychotic ass nature of these TikToks.

Come for shippers all you want. I know some people think my page is full of crazies...but this shit? This is someone obsessed with Nicola attempting to throw stones at her, Luke, and the fandom in general. The question I want to know is this.

Who are you, Beautiful Stranger? You definitely love Antonia, that much is clear with you tagging her friends constantly. Did you get all excited?? I bet it was the highlight of your life.

How about you stop hiding behind a private profile and start saying shit with your entire chest? Tagging people who don't need to be tagged in your illegible fucking video descriptions?

You want to fight with someone from the fandom?

Bitch I'm right here, ready and willing.

[directdogman]

Hey there's someone trying to say you said you were pro Israel on discord? They're anonymous and say you blocked them before they could get screenshots so I don't really believe them, but still :[

Mhm. Nice bit of news to wake up to, this.

Yeah, so this person's a troll and they're more than likely lying on purpose in order to try to me look bad because I blocked them on Twitter for being unpleasant, something I rarely even do and they're still seething about it. The block had nothing to do with Gaza, the person was just being annoying and I thought it'd be healthier to block and move on. I'd really prefer not to have to give this person energy, but if there's a rumor going around, I'd like to nip it in the bud, since it's very easy to disprove in this case.

To explain what this person's blathering about: Earlier this week, on a Phonegingi plush advert, this random user that doesn't follow me (and actually instructs fans of mine not to interact with them in their bio) made a dramatic QRT decrying me for posting a DT advert during a strike week, which I honestly had no clue it was, especially since my own timeline was (and still is) full of accounts posting normally.

Given that the person seemingly encountered one of my posts in the wild and ended up seething because of it + likely didn't want anything to do with me on their timeline (as their bio indicated), after thinking it over briefly, I did the healthy thing and just blocked the person + moved on. Makes sense, right? I'll admit: Even if the way the person approached me was regrettable, if I'd known it was a strike week, I'd have participated (as I'd participated in the last one), so I stopped posting teasers for the week anyway, only resuming again yesterday.

I'll also say: I checked my own timeline btw and looked at the accounts posting, and nobody else had anyone acting like this in their replies, even the much larger accounts. Nor did anyone else contact/reply to me in any way stating any disapproval.

Given that I've only blocked one account recently that isn't a replybot (and ofc, given the subject matter of that tweet), I'd have to assume that this is the anonymous person spreading stuff.

I'd understand where this person was coming from if maybe I'd stayed completely silent about Gaza, (which a lot of accounts I follow have) but I haven't. I had a Palestinian aid post pinned on my Twitter for weeks, I've talked about Gaza's child population and my support for South Africa's Hague suit in my discord server, I've engaged in the boycotts, wound down posting during strikes, donated a pretty substantial amount of Dialtown revenue towards sending money/esims... I have 4 bucks in my bank account right now and when my next DT check comes in, you'd better believe I'll be giving more. That's my right as a private citizen and one I'll continue to exercise.

I feel pretty uncomfortable having to put this stuff in front of me to 'prove' myself, even if some of it is public anyway. Charity should be something you do because you CARE and if it wasn't for this person, I'd have been far happier keeping a lower profile and not explicitly calling attention to my own aid, but given this ask, I feel it'd be stupid not to nip this in the bud. The majority of this information could be easily found with the tiniest amount of digging, btw, so it's not like the user couldn't have known any of this. This is the part of having a fandom that creators seldom talk about. You block one person for being a lil annoying, next thing you know, there's rumors that you support genocides! Fun.

So yeah, I'd like you to tell this person to just move on like a normal person (send them this post if you have to) and to stop spreading incorrect rumors about me out of spite. If they insist, I'm happy to pull up receipts to prove everything I've said. If they actually thought I was pro-Israel, they wouldn't be spreading it anonymously, they'd be writing another public post about the subject matter. Also if you see anyone repeating the rumor, please correct them. Thanks.

[bogkeep]

Would you recommend the SSSS comic? I know little of it beside the very beautiful artstyle and premise

to answer the question of if i would recommend SSSS as a comic: yes, yes i would.

a description for those who don't know: Stand Still Stay Silent is a post-apocalyptic horror + adventure webcomic set in the nordics (norway, sweden, denmark, finland, iceland) that have been isolated from the rest of the world and gone back to their old gods. the the world outside of safe zones is full of trolls and beasts - humans and mammals that got infected by a horrible virus and turned into monsters. the story follows a ragtag crew that ventures into the old world (derelict denmark) on an expedition to collect books.

the comic updated every workday until it concluded in 2022, and consists of two Adventures. the creator had plans for many adventures with these characters in this world, but ended it after two when she wanted to take a new direction with her life.

what i love about it:

- the art is GORGEOUS. it's been a huge source of inspiration for me. open any page and it's a masterpiece, and you will ask yourself "how the FUCK did she update this FIVE DAYS A WEEK"

- the characters are wonderful and endearing. i just, i love them so much. i am so thankful lalli hotakainen exists he is one of my #1 blorbos forever

- the world is so cool. the blend of chunky sci-fi and norse mythology fantasy magic slaps. it goes so hard. i fell so hard for this comic when i got to the big ferry ship with a viking style dragon head prow added to it. it's everything

- it really really gets nordic cultures. it's difficult to explain all the dynamics and nuances but it just gets it. it brings me as a scandinavian a lot of joy to read a story that speaks to my heart this way. the attitudes, the language barriers, the cultural differences... it was so refreshing to me in a media landscape dominated by american stories. when the pandemic hit, i decided to reread the comic because i found such an odd comfort in seeing how it depicted the scandinavian countries reacting to, well, a pandemic.

- there's kittycats

what i don't like about it:

- the most glaring and obvious flaw is that everyone in the comic is white. there's not a single character of color anywhere, not even i background shots or the prologue. there's no mention of the saami people (the indigenous people of northern europe), either. i believe this was done in ignorance more than malicious intent, but the implications are Extremely Bad and it's been bothering me (AND MANY OTHERS) since day 1. that is the number one caveat i will give to anyone wanting to check this comic out. i've been in the discourse trenches and i am not going to excuse this. it's just bad!

- you can tell in the middle of adventure 2 that the creator has kind of lost interest in the work, around the time when she found jesus i guess. like, very few people can keep up work on the same creative project for years and years and years and i think it's fine that she wanted to drop it, but it's a bit sad to see the comic dragged to its end like a limp corpse, and feeling like the creator no longer really cares about the characters.

- minna sundberg has said and done some questionable things, presumably gotten somewhat radicalised over time, and has also converted to hardcore christianity which is what her new works are about. there's nothing about this in SSSS - there is a moment of christianity represented in the story in a sort of mythological sense, just like the other religions, but this was written before minna's conversion. her new works... are a Choice. i have much to say about them, and i have, and im not gonna rehash it now.

SO YEAH hopefully this will help you take an Informed Choice! i got into this comic in 2015 and was deep in the fandom and it's for better or for worse part of my soul foundation now.

i also recommend A Redtail's Dream, minna's "practice comic" before SSSS, based on finnish mythology and the kalevala.

[sapphirepatch]

POP ST☆RZ N' 🌺 POPROCKS! Trolls AU!

🐙💘 ︴ Trolls are basically drugs at this point, we've seen it with the Bergens and with Velvet and Veneer, so what if there are certain trolls that have stronger effects? In this case, Branch is one of them, trolls can get a high off his singing voice alone and it's incredibly addicting. It also boosts the talent of anyone he sings with. Trolls like these are rare, but when one is found, no one can get enough. And a certain famous rock star needs his fix more than anything. ♥︎٭˙

Yayyy!!! Finally get to introduce my AU that's been cookin in head my head for a while. :DD Info dump below! :

General/Story: 🌊✦˙

Trolls are much more interested in and obsessed with fame and celebrities in this AU. Everyone is trying to get famous, go out dancing at the clubs, or do absolutely anything to meet someone rich and famous. In Trolls Topia, it's all about your status. And about the parties, and the concerts, and the drugs, and the chaos of it all.

After the events of the first movie, Branch reunites with his old band, Kismet. When the band gets back together, they make it big almost immediately. All thanks to Branch and his voice. This catches catches the attention of Bad Hair Day's lead singer, Billy Reverb. Who becomes utterly obsessed. Though getting Branch to do just about anything for Billy isn't hard at all, not when he already idolizes him and is one of the biggest Bad Hair Day fans out there. It sure seems like Branch is living the high life, his band is the biggest pop sensation in all of Trolls Topia, his best friend is the queen, and his idol is spoiling him and giving him all the attention he could ever want. But it's a dark and dangerous path he's being lead down, and it seems that no one can save him.

About the Characters: 🌊✦˙

Poppy and Val Thundershock are both the queens of Trolls Topia, they're married and the biggest socialites among the pop and rock trolls. They're like early 2000's heiresses to me. // All of Kismet are around the same age and were child stars when they first debuted. After breaking up (when Branch stopped singing because of his grandma) they all stayed close friends up until their late teenage years. Branch was becoming more and more emotionally distant until he finally pushed them all away. // If it wasn't obvious, Billy Reverb is EVIL. Bro is practically a junckie and also very manipulative. He is doing anything and everything to keep Branch wrapped around his finger.

I'll be posting more art and info over time. There's a lot more redesigns and OCs that need to be posted. If you have questions, hit up my askbox. I'd love to get deep into the lore with anyone who's interested.

[thenightshadowqueen]

The best character from each longform

(in my biased opinion)

This is (obviously) a long one, so if you do want to read it, more below.

(Also I left out the Patreon plays. I might do a separate post for them later; we’ll see.)

Jimmy (Tom, Toby’s Secret Pocket)

Look, Jimmy is the best. He’s adorable. He’s the representation we as the autistic community needed. He has happy flappy stimmy hands. He can’t walk through doors. We love him. (STOPINTHENAMEOFTHELAW!!!!!)

André Beetroot (AJ, Burglary and Bobsledding)

André Beetroot (André Beetroot) was iconic the first time around, but his return as the first recurring SFTH character obviously had to be memorialised.

The boy witch (Sam, Moist and Magical)

I was tempted by the witchfinder general, but the boy witch won out with “Henry Cavill with a wasting disease” and his thick accent. Also the cheeky little look he gives his grandma (Luke) when he flips her off wins him a lot of points.

Hugh’s mum (Tom, Marigolds Bluebells and Hugh)

She’s, like, a fair bit unhinged, but she has good intentions. She’s got amazing quotes, too; “why couldn’t you have just stayed in my womb forever” and “if you love something, lock it up” are both deeply concerning, but I love them.

The wife (Tom, Murders in Space)

This one is kind of an obvious choice. I mean, her quotes are glorious, and honestly “have you ever heard of feminism, James?” gets her top spot automatically.

Mario the sheep (Sam, the Lighthouse)

Was this even a question? I love Mario intending to be a one-scene character and then being forced to star in the whole play. I love the human bits. I love “🐑fuck you🐑”. I love the sheep (aka Sam) having a fucking breakdown at the end. 10/10 all around.

Titch (Luke, the Unrelenting Aubergine)

Listen, I was very tempted by Old Lady Margery (and by Derek), but in the end, canon queer guy with commitment issues and insane amounts of blindness around his own feelings won out. What can I say, I have a type in fictional characters.

Troll Son (Luke, Wine Under the Bridge)

Everything about this character is perfect. Screaming as hello? Colourful troll as a metaphor for being queer? Correcting a geography fact? It’s got it all. It’s perfect. I love Troll Son and his wine bar in Ipswich.

Juliet (AJ, Caesar and Juliet)

Is anyone surprised? She’s a murderous girlboss. “[My mother] said you have to be careful about men; they can be corrupted with power. But what she didn’t know is that so can woman.” They can, and I’m here for it. She’s bathing in blood and her skin is glowing. I love insane women.

Watson (Sam, the Mystery of the Midnight Circus)

Watson, driven mad with grief over his divorce and his one-sided love for Sherlock, becomes a murderous clown. Am I supposed to not love this? Is there even another choice in this play? And his breakdown at the end was gorgeous.

Priscilla (AJ, Pricilla’s Final Petal)

I was very tempted by both of her mums, and also a bit by the groundsman, but ultimately, Priscilla won out. She’s the title character. She’s confused, but she’s got the spirit, and she’s working through her trauma with a buttercup and a piano lesson. Good for her.

Marty (Sam, the Evil Make-a-Wish Kid)

I considered the seven-year-old detective, but in the end, Marty won. He’s evil. He’s a make-a-wish kid. What more can I say? He’s got an iconic smirk. He burns down all the petting zoos on the entire planet (and his mum). He dies at the end. He’s brilliant.

Derek (Tom, Susan’s Holiday)

There were a lot of great options in this one, but “I like looking at the back of another man’s head” was too good to pass up. Also, I adore the whole monologue he has while he’s waiting to be buzzed in.

The gasoline salesman (Luke, Beetroots and Murder)

Okay, I know he’s only in, like, a quarter of a scene. I know that. And I can’t tell you why I love him so much but I do. He’s just. I just love him. I can’t explain it. There are so many great characters in this play, but the way he says “could be, could be” has captivated me. If you understand the way my brain works, please contact me, because I don’t.

Peter Steven (Tom, the Milkman)

I love so many characters in this play. I love Gareth, and I love the Texan bartender, and I love David the milkman. But Peter Steven is the sweetest, most traumatised little boy and I want to protect him. I will adopt him and I will never make him walk on his knees again. I will throw away the PS5 and I will let him dig up the back garden as many times as he wants.

Johnny and Janae (Luke and Tom, the Neighbour’s Under the Bed)

I know they’re two separate characters, okay, but they’re a set. I want to keep them together. And I just can’t choose, okay? They’re two autistic children whose neurodivergence presents in opposite ways, and their parents don’t know what to do with them, and oh look, I’m back to wanting to adopt traumatised children.

Captain Egbert (Luke, the Leftenmost Window)

Shoutout to the mum, but Egbert won this one. He’s, like, kind of an idiot. I’m here for it, though. He’s got the iconic “diluileayilybilyeilysilym” speech. He wants to go to the ~astral plane~ but he’s waiting for his birthday. He lets his wife dip him into a kiss even though it’s 1940. I love him.

The king (Sam, the Prime Minister’s First Day)

Listen, I love several characters from this one, but I’m going with this one. He’s unapologetically a dick. He wears impenetrable armour made from diamonds stolen from Indian subculture. He’s impossible to beat. He’s brilliant. (Also did anyone else kind of find Sam hot as the king or is that just me?)

Franz Haberburg (Sam, the Excited Chinchilla)

Obviously fuck Nazis (god I hope that’s obvious). That being said, some of SFTH’s best characters are Nazis, and this is one of them. He’s glorious. I have never seen such a brilliant rendition of a Nazi chinchilla.

The Italian detective (Tom, the Ingredients)

He can’t pronounce paella. Do I need another reason?

Chip (Sam/AJ, the Cardboard Stegosaurus)

Oh look, another traumatised child! I want it. (No, but seriously, I love Chip and his English/French seizures.) Also he’s one of the few characters who switches actors mid-play, and I love that.

Persephone (Tom, Wild Wet and Worrisome)

She’s amazing. “HEY!” is a gorgeous siren call and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. She deserved a happy ending and I’m still sad we didn’t get one. I like to think she swam to the shore and found Geoff again, and they lived happily ever after on a boat at sea, singing and not having to kill anyone.

Full Set O’Hands and his love/bother (Luke and Tom, No! I Always Loved that Caravan)

I know, I know, another set of characters, but you really can’t separate these two. They’re insane. I adore them. They’re just… Honestly, these two are comedy gold. Good for them because they are fucking timeless.

Andrew (Luke, All Eyes on Nigel)

Listen, Andrew is a naive little thing, and he must be protected at all costs. He goes through so much shit in this one, and I just want to wrap him up in a blanket and send him to rehab.

Magnus O. Puss (Tom, BUS)

Okay, this was a VERY close one between them and Arthur B. D., but Magnus is a genderqueer icon and we love them for it. Also, I feel like this is some of the most unhinged Tom content we have and I live for that.

Jeremiah (Luke, Inside the Mysterious Cube)

I was so torn because I love Bubba, too, but I’m trying to avoid putting sets of characters where possible, and Jeremiah just edged past Bubba because his death scene was gorgeous. (That is a mildly concerning reason to have a favourite, I will admit.)

Lord Lafayette (Tom, the Midnight Mystery)

You may be noticing a pattern; I adore Tom’s insane characters. We just don’t get to see that often enough. I love his very sexual flirting with Lady Lafayette (Sam). I love him making fun of the detective’s (Luke’s) shirt. I love “what does any self-respecting rich man do when he has a little boy in tights” followed by “captured—and only captured” as a save. I love him.

Dangerfield (AJ/Tom/AJ again, Once Upon a Time I Killed Mum)

I love the confusion when Tom briefly takes over as Dangerfield; it’s not often we get to see AJ understanding something that Sam doesn’t (I say this with all the love in the world). Dangerfield is so fascinating to me. He’s a “cleaner” for a crime lord, but he has mixed feelings about the things he does. I want to know how he got into it in the first place. How did he come into this life? I want to know.

Barry’s wife (AJ, the Hare who Wore a Sweater)

I don’t remember her having a name, but I could be wrong about that. She’s so sweet; she just wants to knit sweaters for the hares in peace. And then Jimmy the hare gets shot, and she and her husband go on a revenge plot. I’m here for it. I love her.

The king/tank commander (AJ, the Oopsie Daisy Bulge)

He’s obsessed with tanks. He used to have gay sex with his fellow tank commanders, but only as a joke. He sailed all the way around, through the other landlocked counties, into the east of France, and they never saw it coming. He drove tanks into the ocean. He’s so stupid he’s almost smart. I love him.

The landowner/farmer (Luke, Too Big to Be a Jockey)

He farms peasants (Luke, you genius). He’s such a dick, with his classist remarks about Johnny Jones, but somehow I love him anyway. His interview process is looking at a photo of someone and then hiring them, and he’s honestly wonderful. I love him.

Larry (Tom, Long Johns—Strike!)

Literally the only thing he does on screen is die. That’s it. That’s his whole purpose. And he does it beautifully.

Wizard Asceroth (Sam, the Dark Moons of Slough)

ASCEROOOOTTTHHHH!!! (I don’t have another reason. I don’t need another reason.)

The French waiter (Luke, Lost in Your Eyes)

I don’t know. I really don’t. But something about this character has stuck with me since the first time I watched it. Gorgeous accent. He kisses Amanda (Sam) for no reason at all. He gets stabbed by a gun. I love him.

The Lady of a Thousand Don Juans (Luke, the Meringue Haberdashery)

She tricked her husband for years. She murdered her own child. She has been a curse on all the Don Juans in this town. She’s one of the only villains who win at the end of a longform, and that’s very impressive. I love her.

Xavier (Tom, Oh my God is This a Joke?)

(Please refer to my previous statement about Nazi characters.) Okay, look. He’s a horrible person. But we as a fandom choose to disregard that because Tom looks amazing in a leather jacket and scarf. I am not above this. I am, in fact, a part of this. Tom looks amazing in a leather jacket and scarf. “I will die as I have lived…. Shirtless!” has to be one of the most iconic lines of all time. There was never any competition.

[herejusttosufferalong]

Sorry, this is probably a boring read and I get it, if it doesn’t warrant posting.

I just saw the posts about the A at a glass window at London premiere and JD and N playing board games in a pub etc. and it made me think.

There a loads of little bits about A coming out, she was there during the tour, she did that etc. First thing that came to mind for me was: this is in the past, this is not today. I know she is around today, I know there will be more L A stuff coming, ig launch, proper couple stuff etc. But the things we get bothered about now re. A during the tour: they are in the past, they do not reflect things as they are today.

It shows to me: there was trouble during the tour and there is trouble today. I’m with unraveling anon here: currently there is something going on in the L A and friendly gang universe, and it’s not wedding planning for L A.

As many here I think, L N caught some feelings during filming S3, I don’t think it got physical but feelings were there. Took a break, L HBS happened, N living her best life. 2024 the tour happens, feelings for L – who by now had acquired an 🐜 – came back quickly. For N it took a hot minute but at some point there was no use denying it, the world and their mother could see it and hear it. Oh what to do with A now? I reckon, N never thought her to be a serious thing and that may be because L sold it exactly that way.

Several A appearances / actions on SM, I still look for one that was not on some level cringeworthy, lemme know if you find one. Girl is insecure and acting out and L does very little to put his b..ch on a lead. He behaved like the fool in love he is – with N that is - on the tour and likely did not exactly do lots to reassure A behind the scenes, besides the occasional FH stay.

Premiere London, L obviously had to do something for A, had set up or at least signed off the walk of crap 🦀but could he be arsed to even do that properly and commit afterwards on some minor level? You tell me.

He obviously wants to or has reasons to hold on to A. But why look like a damn hostage about it all the time? Surely after London he could have just be much more relaxed with her, hey, be fake-papped again plant a kiss on her, hold her properly. By now they could be an established couple to the world, the fandom outrage would have died down, they could live their relationship openly. Nope, hostage situation vibe it is.

Meanwhile N – and I never thought this would happen – goes MIA, she currently has the lowest public profile since I follow her and I just can’t help but get hurt / annoyed vibes from her. It’s truly telling that her friends seem to rally around her and even appear to troll A not do discretely. And she has a little sad vibe to her since the tour ended and I hate that. Might of course be because S3 chapter closed, might be L, I think whatever it is – N for sure was not happy with how London premiere night played out.

And don’t get me started on JD: m’dears, he aint her boyfriend, he is the gay-bestie and I am so happy she has him in her life right now. Do get over it please.

I guess what I am rambling on here is: A is here to stay for now. Here in my country 🐜s usually disappear when fall goes in to winter, so let nature take its course. And in the meantime, let’s do our best to not give her any attention, because that’s what she wants desperately. And let’s support N and L, they deserve it so.

And thanks to blog queen for letting us squat here until better times arrive!

NO NOTES

💜🥃

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

just a girl 4

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as possible cheating, low self-esteem, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: you move in with your sister when your luck turns for the worst.

Characters: Walter Marshall, possible Andy Barber

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

You stare out the window as time ticks by. You’re restless. You can’t go far out of your room for fear of running into your brother-in-law and you’re in no hurry for Walter to follow through on his promise. It doesn’t matter that you said no, he’ll be back. Just like everything you say, no one hears you. 

The job boards leave you even more deflated. You’re about to give up. Every email is spam or the notification that a posting has closed. That means you didn’t get that either. You barely even both opening the new messages. 

You watch how the sun casts a shadow of the tree branch and leaves. The rustle is dreamy and your head is hazy with detachment. You close your eyes and drop your head. Andy’s right, you’re just a burden. You owe Rhiannon so many apologies; for being useless, for crashing her newlywed year, for being her sister. Chance has cursed her with you. 

A thump comes at the door, “get out here.” 

Andy’s voice has you on your feet. You grab your satchel and your phone. It’s 6:23pm. You open the door and meet his icy glare. 

“That loser is here. Heh, you might be a better match than I thought,” he taunts. 

“Thanks,” you step out and go to pull the door shut behind you. He reaches past you and stops the door, closing in and forcing you to press your shoulders to the wood. 

“Hiding something in there?” He challenges with a flick of his lashes. 

“No,” you babble, “I’m just...” 

“What do you even do in there all day? Like a troll in a cave,” he mocks. 

“I... nothing.” 

“Nothing. Obviously,” he scoffs. “As always.” 

“Please,” you look past him. “I’m trying to leave.” 

“You live under my roof, you go when I say,” he sneers. 

“I don’t... understand,” you eke out. 

“Understand this,” he pulls back and wags his finger in your face, “you stay out past midnight and don’t wake us up when you get home. Hell, if you hear us, plug your ears.” 

“Right, I... I’ll be quiet,” you whisper. 

He narrows his eyes and hovers his finger before you. His gaze slowly descends and he touches the strap of your satchel. He follows it down, just next to your chest. He reads your tee shirt. 

“You dress like a goddamn teenager,” he flicks your tit cruelly and you wince, letting out a yelp as you cup your chest, “act like one too.” 

You’re in disbelief. You can’t believe he touched you there. Sure, it was mean. It hurt. Yet it feels like a violation. 

“Honey,” Rhiannon’s voice trills through the house and Andy blanches. He wipes the anger from his face and raises both hands, lowering his arms slowly as he backs up. He stares you down as he puts on his mask, “hey, Walter is waiting outside. Did you have to go to the station?” 

Your sister appears in the kitchen archway and you glance past Andy as she looks around. She sees you and smiles. She wears a polka dot wrap dress that hugs her figure. 

“No,” Andy backs up, “he’s waiting on her. I was just dragging her into the light.” 

“Oh?” Rhiannon’s face brightens up, “for you!” She claps and flutters over, “that’s wonderful. Is it a date?” 

“No,” you utter. 

“She’s being modest,” Andy snorts, “of course, it’s a date. You always said it’s about time she gets out, finds someone, didn’t you, honey?” 

You frown. Of course she would say that. She wants you gone too, she’s just too nice to say so. 

“I’ll just... go,” you sidle out from between Andy and the door. 

As you do, he reaches past you and pulls it shut. You wince. He doesn’t make sense to you. If he hates you so much, why is he bothering you? You mind your business, stay out of his way, but he’s always lurking, ready to torture you. 

“Oh, do you need to take anything with you? What are you doing?” Rhiannon buzzes with excitement as she blocks the doorway. “Ooo, do you want a dress?” 

“No, this is fine. We’re just... having burgers, or something. I don’t know,” you explain flatly. 

“How about dessert? I made some cookies. Oh, wait,” she twirls and floats across the kitchen. She slides a pink bottle from the wine rack and brings it to you, “here. You can’t go over without a gift. Right, Andy?” 

“Sure, it is the courteous thing to do,” Andy agrees, “rude to show up empty-handed.” 

You don’t miss the insinuation. What did you bring with you to his home but a grey cloud and failure? You thank Rhiannon and take the bottle. You don’t want to argue. She’s so happy, you can’t bring yourself to insist that it’s nothing. Like Andy said, Walter is just trying to get to him. You’re not that interesting. 

“Have a great night,” Rhiannon sings and surprises you with a hug, crushing the bottle against your stomach, “I hope you have so much fun! Eeh, tomorrow, I’m taking you to lunch and you’re going to tell me everything.” 

“Okay,” you agree with a squeak, “um...” you glance through the archway, “he’s waiting.” 

“We won’t wait up,” Andy assures you and steps up next to his wife, slinging his arm across her shoulders, “have fun.” 

You leave them and make the death march down the hallway. The only positive you see is that Andy won’t be around to stomp your spirit into the ground. You stop to step into your Vans and open the front door. You emerge into the evening sunlight and blink around the yard.  

Walter waits with his arms crossed as you descend the steps, not looking at him as you slouch. He comes closer and drops his arms, “thought you didn’t drink.” 

You shrug, “my sister sent it.” 

“Ah, she is a sweetheart,” he says, “here, let me carry it.” 

You don’t resist as he slips the long-necked bottle from your grasp. He turns and gestures you toward the gate. You precede him through the open picket floor and he shuts it behind him as he follows. He comes up parallel to you as you head down the sidewalk. 

He holds the wine out to read the label, “rose. Hm, should go with chicken burgers.” 

“I don’t know,” you mutter. 

“Hmm,” he hums and lowers the bottle. 

You walk along in silence. You’re too hot in your denim and cotton. He’s changed. His hair is slightly tidier and he wears a short-sleeved button up with shorts. You’re embarrassed that you didn’t even both to put on a different shirt. 

“Must be hard living with that jackass,” he scoffs, “working with him is a pain in the ass and a half.” 

“Huh?” You blink against the angle of the sunlight. 

“Andrew Barber. Asshole at law,” he sneers, “always wondered about your sister. Seems too nice for someone like him. Young too.” 

“I guess,” you agree. “He’s... She loves him.” 

“You don’t gotta lie to me,” he insists, “but we don’t gotta spend all night talking about him either. I’m sure you’re happy to get outta there.” 

“Sure.” 

“Woman of few words. Respect that,” he comments, “so, what do you do? For work?” 

“Nothing, er, right now. Looking.” 

“Oh yeah? Well, what do you usually do?” He asks as you feel him look over at you. “Don’t seem the secretary type.” 

You stroll by one of the blonde women from Rhiannon’s club in her front yard. She waters lush roses as she fails to hide her intrusive stare. You twist the strap of your bag as you watch the lines in the pavement pass beneath your soles. 

“Woodwork. Carpentry,” you answer. “Tryna get in at a shop.” 

“Oh, good with your hands,” he chuckles, “I like that.” 

“I... guess,” you bring your hands together and mash your palms against one another. 

“Sorry, that came out wrong,” he laughs again, “well, if you’re still looking for a while, you any good at shelves?” 

“Shelves?” You echo. 

“I’m redoing my garage. Making a mancave. My daughter likes to have her friends over and I try to stay outta their way so.” 

“I can make shelves,” you answer. “Not hard.” 

“Install?” He wonders and you nod. He’s quiet. “Great, what’s your rate?” 

“My rate?” 

“I’ll pay materials plus labour,” he offers. 

“Oh, okay,” you chuff out, surprised.  

“We’ll figure all the numbers out later,” he affirms, “oh, and don’t worry. My daughter’s at a sleepover so it’s just us.” 

“I... wasn’t worried,” you say. 

“Sure,” he gets closer and stretches his arm around your back, resting his hand on your hip. You pass another housewife in her garden as she gapes in your direction. You go rigid, feet nearly tripping as he keeps his arm around you, “well, if you were...” 

You want to pull away but you can’t. You don’t want to make a scene or make him angry. Not after Andy’s sheer hatred. So, you stay quiet and walk on, his fingers curling into your hip, one slipping through a loop in your jeans. Your overly aware of the watching eyes of the HOA, you know Rhiannon will hear all about this, even if you don’t tell her. 

[littleplantfreak]

The Wheel - Umemiya Hajime

(From my earlier post this morning about how Umemiya would do the voices from his kid's bed time stories. I don't think there's any CWs. It's SFW and a x reader? but that's all i think)

Umemiya’s always been a reader. Whether it was his parents reading to him when he was young, him reading to his siblings in the group home, or just the gardening books he began to read as he started taking an interest in it, books were always a staple to him. It’s no surprise when your first child’s room ends up having a huge bookcase full of books, along with a few scattered toys and a piggy bank placed high enough that your three year old can’t reach it. Every night before bed, your daughter picks an armful of books out before waddling over and throwing them down. To her, this is one or two books, even though it’s actually around ten if you counted. She never stays awake long enough to get through all of them, but her efforts are nothing if not valiant.

The three of you squish up on her small bed while her pudgy fingers grab the first book on the pile. You start the narration, and she’s running her hands on the pages, tracing little goats as they’re frolicking through the pages. Just as the troll begins to speak, your husband takes over the dialogue after slipping on his reading glasses.

“Who’s that going across my bridge?” Hajime grumbles in a deep voice, and you can see your daughter visibly perk up. As the little goat gets past the troll, he gets more dramatic, and at the climax, he pauses the story.

“Is he gonna hurt the big billy goat, daddy?” Your little girl asks, bottom lip trembling in upset.

“I’m not sure, little star. Do you want me to keep reading?” He brushes her hair back out of her face as she thinks about it. She looks at the big billy goat, hand passing over the picture again, and even though she’s about to tear up with worry, she grabs your fingers and squeezes them tight before telling him yes, she does want to hear it.

He starts again, explaining that the big billy goat rammed into the troll so hard, he flew off the bridge and was swept away by the river. Your daughter smiles, looking at the three billy goats happily munching on the grass, and you can’t stop a giggle from rolling past your lips.

“Daddy’s pretty good at the voices huh?” you ask, booping her nose gently.

“THE BEST!” She yells before picking up the next book from the pile as she explains that you’ll do the same thing as before and Hajime will be doing the high-pitched voice of a baby bird trying to find its mother that has you snorting into your hands.

When she has a play date with some neighborhood kids, her and her friends are enthralled by him reenacting the story of Peter Pan, sword fights, and all while you’re making lunch in the kitchen. Even after you adopt her younger brother, your daughter listens to the same stories he’s told a hundred times before with the same adoration, sometimes jumping in herself to voice the characters she really likes.

Your son, now a teenager in high school, sits at a table in the local library, book open to a page he hasn’t turned in the past 20 minutes. He’s hunched over it as if to study, but his eyes flicker over to the corner of the children’s section every so often. There, a group of younger kids crowd around on a circle carpet for the weekly reading time, hushed in awe of the man reading a story.

“…and the big billy goat winds up to run headfirst into the troll…and he gets eaten!” No longer quiet, the kids are howling and shouting, and your son’s neck snaps in the direction of his father. Shutting his book, he pushes out of his seat, walking to the edge of the carpet.

“Dad!” He blusters, a little too loud to be considered decent in a library. Hajime just tilts his head towards him, eyes locked on with a grin on his face.

“Hey tiger, thought you were studying,” he says, playing at surprise.

“That’s not how the story ends, and you know it,” his son's eyes are serious, his expression bothered. He’s heard this story countless times, and the big billy goat never loses.

“Really now?” Hajime slaps his hands on his thighs before standing up from his chair, holding the book out close enough for him to grab. “Why don’t you show us how it ends then?” He grins, scarred eyebrow cocked in challenge.

His son realizes the trap he’s fallen in, looking at the pairs of eyes now burning into him, urging him to finish the story the right way. “…Fine. But everyone’s gotta listen because I’m not going back and rereading it if you start giggling with your friends,” he says, grabbing the book and flipping its pages, rewinding a bit before the climax so it won’t confuse the ones who were thrown off by the fake ending earlier. Hajime sits down on the carpet with the rest of the kids cross-legged, watching his son start out slow and nervous, but eventually his tone changes and slips into a grumbled voice, the big billy goat about go head to head with the troll again.

By the end of the book, the kids are up and crowding him, asking if he'll pleeeease read another story! Just one more, Nii-san the caterpillar one! No, he's gonna like the one with the bats more-. and the flush on his face rivals Sakura's when he was younger.

You walk in just as the kids start showing your son different books, pulling on his pant legs, and you can't help but laugh. You look at your husband, who's not giving any aid whatsoever.

"So you're pawning off your jobs now? What happened to the reliable Umemiya Hajime?" You tease, giving him one of the drinks from your shopping bag.

Hajime hums at that, a smile on his face. "He just so happens to be equally reliable. I think he's got a knack for it," he whispers, pulling you close so you're hip to hip, his arm wrapped around your waist and pressing a kiss to your jaw.

"Right, and this has nothing to do with the text from our daughter saying she's coming to visit in a few minutes? You told her to come down here, didn't you?" Accusation evident in your voice, as you check the time from the last set of texts in the family group chat.Your son's been talked into reading Paddington as the kids quiet down in rapt attention.

He doesn't notice his big sister coming in and snapping a quick picture of the scene in front of her until his phone goes off, and he's turning pink, fumbling, and trying to make excuses as to why he's reading to a bunch of kids. No matter what, she'll end up teasing him about it, so he's at a loss. It doesn't stop him from coming back next week at the same time, when his dad makes the excuse that he'll have to cancel the reading time this week due to an appointment if he can't get someone to fill in.

[freyjas-musings]

So , now that the event has officially come to an end I think I would like to say my 2 cents on the troll account that popped in the middle of an event . Irrespective of which fandom or side this person belongs to one thing that is accurate is that it's an abomination that shouldn't have been born at all. I am a 100% sure its someone everyone hates in their real life too.

TW : INSENSITIVE SA DISCOURSE POINTED OUT

Now, is it fair to blame the entire group of Elriels for that troll? No , but what is shitty is Elriels pretending an Elriel has "never" done anything like that.... That's inaccurate...

Below is an example from a verified Elriel account saying exactly the same sort of shit .... since some of you want to pretend it's not an elriel thing

There you go a verified Elriel who has been around for a while ... and consistent discourse in SA insensitivity. .. So its reasonable for people to assume the troll account is an Elriel... stop pretending to be Victims. I have a few more examples from other accounts that are verified Elriel too

One of Elriels lead Commissioners on Gwyn ... So this BS that Elriels have never made hate posts or insensitive posts about Gwyn is farthest from the truth. No one is buying it .

2. This troll account popped up in the middle of an event, an event that was going exceptionally well and was getting the recognition and reach it deserved , why would one of our own cause Drama to disrupt that ?

3. The trolls brain , the quality of that brain is unbelievable.... its unfortunately questionable ... How ?

Elriels: They are trying to pretend to be Elriel so they can make us look bad....

Troll : while completely engaging in anti gwyn and Gwynriel discourse ... Littering all over an event page by leaving disgusting comments on the content.... tagging all their posts Elriel

I mean the quality of that brain, if this was someone who created that account to make Elriels look bad why on earth would they say they "aren't" Elriel 😅😅😅😅😅

This is the sort of brain that comes up with bread and roses so please don't blame us for assuming this asshole is an Elriel.

Now , do I care which side that asshole belongs to ? Not really , anyone who has been here a while knows shitty people in this fandom are rampant irrespective of the side .

Sexual Abuse is not limited to females so when someone writes terrible things about SA survivors it's not gender based hate speech , Male assault is just as real and relevant too.. its an insult to SA Survivors as a whole ... I don't give a fuck about people's personal opinions about fictional characters but when you specifically write posts that are insensitive towards what is a very real issue in today's world you should stand up against it irrespective of the group .

I am specifically not tagging Elriel in this post because I have no interest in interacting with any of them . This is for my side , my people for Gwyn stans ... for Gwynriel stans .... so I am specifically asking Elriels to stay away from my blog and posts.

I am going to be inactive on this account for a few weeks , I am truly burnt out with the fandom and some of the things I have read about survivors in the recent few days has unfortunately triggered me a lot. Based on my discussion with my friends and my husband I do feel the best course of action for me would be to take a brief break ... I will be back for Elucien Week 🤗

[brrypiiix]

Hi I'm new to your blog and love the rair pairs you post. I was wondering do you have any headcannons for clay and trollex?

Oh my god ABSOLUTELY

You asking for my headcannons of Claylex is like asking someone to go on about a hyperfixation they LIVE for so THANK YOU

I will GLADLY DO SO

I have so many so here’s the basic portion of some that I have

💙Claylex💚 Headcannons

“Just friends” stage

Trollex fell first. He visited Trollstopia a good while after TBT and saw him firsthand and bro immediately fell.

When he first went up to the group and was introduced to Brozone, his heart started visibly beating every time he glanced at Clay and it went even faster when Clay looked at him.

Clay first thought he was super cool and had high respect for Trollex since he was a king, but started to notice the special attention he was getting from him and started to become all flustered from it.

Clay is a “I dont need no man” type of troll. Before him and Trollex got together he was fully set on being a strong independent troll who didn’t need a romantic relationship, and that he should focus on his work

Man, did Trollex make that hard. He looked for him every chance he got. He tried to not be pushy about it and even tried to appear cool, but every time he heard Clay or his name he jumped up and scanned the area for him. As soon as he saw him he’s floating over to say hi

Every time Clay would see him coming over he’d get all blushy, but try to play it friendly the whole time

Clay finds it absolutely adorable seeing Trollex trying to gift him things and send him compliments

The first rave Clay finally said yes to, they absolutely destroyed the dance floor together. Trollex tried to stay up in the booth, but as soon as he saw Clay dancing he had to be around him. So he grabbed the first techno troll to dj and swam right over to dance with Clay. Let’s just say they danced like they were the only ones in the world. Eyes locked on each other, dancing around until they were locking hands and pulling the most awestruck moves for everyone to see.

Already everyone knew something was going on between them but Clay was totally in denial and continuously stating that they were just friends and will always be

All while he’s writing Trollex’s name in his work notebook while kicking his feet or biting his pencil, sighing while he’s daydreaming of him and forgetting to work

Even when Trollex has to do something else like perform for everybody, he’s sending not so lowkey messages and gifts towards Clay. Like sending a techno bubble heart straight to Clay, who is doing a terrible job hiding how folded he is

Viva is absolutely ecstatic about this and is always teasing Clay every time he tries to brush off what he and Trollex has going on

Bruce and Floyd find it so cute and are with Viva on this with Clay being in denial. Bruce teases while Floyd is just focusing on urging Clay to let Trollex in

JD and Branch are not so big of fans(I see them as protective over Clay and Floyd when it comes to relationships). JD will attempt to run Trollex off every time he sees Clay and him alone together or if he sees Trollex getting too close. Branch, on the other hand, will jump out of the bushes on Trollex like a drill sergeant and yell at him to drop and give him twenty to prove he’s good enough for his older brother.

The Confession Stage

It took so many hints from Trollex that he wanted to start a relationship, and despite Clay absolutely being head over heels for him he still is filled with some insecurities about relying on somebody only to not fill their expectations and be left(haha, trauma). So he still tries to keep it as just friends(even though deep down he really wants a relationship too). Eventually Trollex finally just stops Clay somewhere to put two hands on his shoulder and come out with “I like you. I really, really like you, Clay, and it would make me the happiest troll if you went out with me.”

I have a whole scenario of how this goes down, but through tears and so much happiness afterwards Clay finally said yes and they shared a deep kiss.

The Relationship Stage

Trollex still has to go back to the Techno Reef, since he is king.

He spends his entire free time thinking of Clay

His royal advisors have to genuinely beg him to work and promise him he will see Clay soon in order to convince him

He gets to visit Trollstopia every month(sometimes though he may be forced to wait longer than just a month to visit and that really negatively affects him and Clay)

Trollex is full puppy dog love and will follow Clay around every single time he visits. From waking up in the morning, all the way to when he’s out working on stuff for the putt putt trolls or when he’s sitting around doing taxes

Clay absolutely loves it and will give him loving kisses every time he silently asks for some

They are an absolute nuisance because even when talking to somebody or hanging out with Clay’s brothers and/or Viva and Poppy theyre always caught staring into each others eyes, sometimes Clay is casually on Trollex’s lap, or Trollex’s arm is around Clay, etc. They can not stay off each other

JD still is not a fan and will immediately split the two up if theyre getting too handsy or lovey dovey

Clay immediately fixes this by yelling at JD to back off or throws something at him

Clay and Trollex have the most romantic dates. A lot of them consist of late night spending time at the lagoon where Trollex dances passionately with Clay in the air with the water moving around them elegantly to Trollex’s control.

They still absolutely destroy the dance floor every time they dance together in public

Trollex looks for every chance to gift Clay something. He once brought Clay a bouquet of oceanic flowers that glow a beautiful sapphire blue and he told him “they reminded me of your eyes, but are kinda bland now that I see them next to you” and Clay just started laughing behind his hand at how corny that sounded, leaving Trollex blinking confused because he genuinely meant it and JD and Branch gagging in the background

Clay absolutely kept those flowers and got a vase for them

This is getting very long, I apologize for that haha. I just really really love Claylex

I have many more, but I will leave it at that. Ty so much for this ask🙏💜

[daydreamingleclerc]

his favorite; mick schumacher

mick's new girlfriend is witty, funny, gorgeous and isn't afraid of internet trolls.

includes; suggestive content, plus-size!reader, fatphobia. please do not read if that is triggering for you.

f1wagcentral

likes are limited on this post.

f1wagcentral new WAG alert?? Mick Schumacher and his reported new girlfriend, Y/N L/N, family friend of George Russell, snuck off for some time alone at the Emilia Romagna GP after the second practice session on Friday, where Mick eased through and came out P2. George Russell is recovering from emergency surgery and so Mick has taken his place in the car for the foreseeable. She’s been seen around the paddock for the last few races, and according to sources the couple are 'smitten'. judging by these pictures we've acquired, our sources are absolutely right.

comments on this post are limited.

yn ew look how happy i am.. cannot believe a man is making me feel this way thats so embarrassing

f1wagcentral so it's true?

yn side eye...

schumisgirl why does she look fat

yn bc she is. its me.. hi <3

yn p.s... can i take ur instagram handle <3

hamiltonschumi mick's new girlfriend firing back at trolls is officially my favourite thing ever

yn thanks! if i'm not everybody's favourite wag by the end of the month im filing for a restraining order <3

yn✔️

italy

liked by mickschumacher, lilymhe and 927,729 others

yn save a horse… ride a cowboy… take their hat & strike a pose

view all 745,920 comments

georgerussell63 who’s the cowboy?

yn i'd keep away from socials for a while georgie xx

mickschumacher hats mine. boots are mine. girls mine… what more could i need?

yn another ride?

mickschumacher make sure you wear this tonight 🤪

gaslysweater NOT YOU MAKING MICK HORNY ON MAIN

yn it's my specialty <3

hamiltonsmerc is she really detailing her sex life with mick on instagram...

yn don't act like you wouldn't if you were me bc you'd be lying

schumacherfan342 why's mick's new gf fat lol

yn i've got a fat ass & big tits and it drives my man crazy

schumacherfan342 did i really need to know that?

yn no! but you commented unnecessary shit so i thought i'd do the same <3

mickschumacher✔️

paris

liked by yn, lewishamilton, jackdoohan and 1,674,503 others

mickschumacher always making sure she knows how much i love her.

tagged: yn

view all 324,473 comments

schumiii364 she probably weighs a ton HAHA i'm surprised you can lift her mick 😂

yn there’s a reason mick’s muscly now and it's so he could carry my fat ass around, stay jealous bb x

mickandyn you two are so cute

georgerussell63 should've thrown her in the river

mickschumacher she made fun of my haircut so i definitely thought about it

pierregasly does the photpgrapher not get credits ?????

yn idk.. he was a bit weird.. kept speaking about me to my boyfriend in french, i think he fancied me :/

pierregasly stop with that man 😹

yn it's okay, i fancy his girlfriend so we're even

francisca.cgomes i fancy you too xx

yn✔️

monaco

liked by mickschumacher, itselenaberri, yukitsunoda15 and 983,647 others

yn my jaw aches

tagged: mickschumacher

view all 163,483 comments

mickschumacher not the only thing that aches today

yn you suck

mickschumacher no, baby. you suck 😉

georgerussell63 can we not have one singular day of peace on this app

yn i thought i told you to stay away from social media george

lewishamilton you two are the absolute worst

yn says the kink king himself x

lewishamilton keep your voice down 😂

yn make me

hamiltonsleclerc yn you’re SO real

yn i told you guys i wanted to be everyone’s favourite wag xx

pierregasly can’t take you two anywhere

yn you literally admitted ur fave sex position on instagram don’t even try me

mickschumacher ✔️

monaco

liked by yn, pierregasly, estebanocon and 2,281,927 others

mickschumacher i was far more interested in her than the sunset

view all 234,712 comments

yn don't lie. you were more interested in my arse

mickschumacher that's what i said, isn't it??

jackdoohan mick, you’re turning into a yn fan account at this point

yn good i love it when men worship me

mickschumacher false ! she forces me to post these pictures !

yn nobodies believing that baby

danielslando yn is proof that girls with a fat ass and big tits get their mans WHIPPED

totosangels it’s SO refreshing to see a wag who’s not stick thin i am so obsessed w yn everyone say thank you mick schumacher

francisca.cgomes i am looking respectfully

yn look disrespectfully. i don’t care

pierregasly i do thats my girlfriend

yn mhm we’ll see about that

ynandmickfan1 yn being bisexual and trying to hit on other drivers girlfriends in the comments of her own boyfriends post is so funny 😭😭😭

mercedesamgf1 ✔️

spain

liked by ginaschumacher, mickschumacher, yn and 1,273,027 others

mercedesamgf1 that p2 feeling in spain!

tagged: mickschumacher

view all 645,283 comments

mickschumacher thank you for putting your trust in me, team! so glad i managed to bring it home alongside lewis 🤩

yn well done my mickie. so proud of you i could explode 🥰

ginaschumacher mick!!!! thats my baby brother!!!

micksdaniel yn really commented MY MICKIE ???? guys i’m crying fr

lewishamilton an expert drive, well done mick! 🥳

yn because you won and mick came second does this mean i get to be in a mercedes sandwich

mickschumacher lewis for the sake of my relationship don’t answer that question.

leclercsainz HA fuck you haas

yn so real queen say it LOUDER !!!!!

georgerussell63 well done mick! thank you for driving my car expertly while i’ve been sick. you’re a dream!

mickschumacher✔️

spain

liked by yn, lewishamilton, zhougyanu and 2,289,009 others

mickschumacher kisses in spain 🤍

view all 321,682 comments

yn i’m only kissing u bc of that trophy 🤍

mickschumacher love you too x

schumi0437 cringe 😹😹😹😹😹😹

yn jealousy is a disease babe x

ginaschumacher 🥹🥹 the cutest ever

mickschumacher ❤️

leclercmick half expected mick to post one of yn’s nude’s in celebration

yn that wouldve broken the internet have you seen my ass

kevinmagnussen all you two ever do is kiss

mickschumacher would you like one 😂

yn✔️

spain

liked by mickschumacher, lewishamilton, carlossainz55 and 2,010,038 others

yn mick’s pretty good behind the camera x

view all 636,929 comments

mickschumacher mick’s pretty good at other things too fyi x

yn acting like i don’t know that 😹😹

mickschumacher so you admit it?

yn yes.

ynandmickfan the fact that if you scroll through 99% of yn’s instagram mick has liked every single picture that’s true love 🥹

yn he just loves looking at my tits

charlesfan28193 shagging mick but every other driver on the grid is liking ur posts 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 slag

yn i’m sure charles would LOVE to know how you treat his friends. tpwk girlie x

hamiltonschumacher TPWK ?!? YN IS A HARRIE CONFIRMED ?

yn girl. i live breathe and EAT harry styles

ynlookbook swiftie??

yn i am a child of divorce !!!!!!

[sapphirerogers]

I lack the wisdom required to write this fic, but I hope someone skilled enough takes the initiative to.

Have any of you ever thought about Steve Rogers waking up from the ice and not going back to fighting?

He wakes up, Fury tells him he needs him, and Steve makes a choice for himself and says no, at least for now. Fury respects that choice, Steve gets a therapist (a good one, not Dr. Christina Passive-Aggressive Raynor) and uses his second chance in life to do the things he actually wanted to. Art. History. Maybe he goes to college again.

On top of all this, he figures out the internet (come on, he's a smart man. He's not gonna be clueless forever) and you know golden boy Steve would jump at the chance of using social media for a good cause.

And I also think Steve would be great at debates. The fucker (affectionate) has a way with words. He's also a nerd. He's well informed and has quick thinking skills. He gets into online fights a lot. Tweets and retweets a hell lot.

Gets Tumblr. (Steve would love tumblr don't lie to me) Reblogs things like it's his last day on earth. (But somehow makes sure to utilise the tag feature perfectly so everything is organised).

Some dudebro makes a misogynistic comment and he's there to verbally drop kick Dudebro into the next week.

Somebody makes an offhand comment regarding something historical and Steve gets his trusty motorcycle and drives his star spangled fine ass to the library and the next day there's a video circulating the internet of him citing sources (down the page number, paragraph number and line number) to prove why the offhand comment was grossly incorrect.

Someone angrily reposts his tweet saying "THAT IS NOT THE AMERICA OF MY DREAMS TALKING" and Steve proceeds to respond with "I'm a person. I can't be a country. What I can try to be is a good human being." and then absolutely demolishes the other person. (Yes to Steve reclaiming himself as Steve Rogers and not Captain America)

He also posts art. Like, everyday. But it gets slightly overshadowed by everything else he does and says.

He has a separate Instagram. For more personal stuff. Pictures of himself? Rarely. Pictures of birds and animals and trees and sunrises and sunsets? Absolutely. Pictures of the cat and the dog he rescued and now is a proud dad to? Everyday. (He's definitely a both person.) Maybe someday he'll step out of his comfort zone and start going live. Everyone loves him. Everyone rational, that is.

He stays away from tiktok.

2014. Fury shows up at his apartment and gets shot. Something stirs in Steve's brain as the masked assassin catches his shield. Those eyes seem familiar. Despite his reservations, he jumps back into the fray. The whole CATWS thing happens.

He finds Bucky. Brings him home. Fights tooth and nail for the charges against him to be dropped. He's got 70 years of military back-pay, he's got no problem getting the best lawyers (Matt Murdock is definitely among them) for the love of his life.

Anyways Bucky is set free. Moves in with Steve. People start gushing over him too. He stays out of Steve's internet life at first, but then the old Bucky comes back little by little. Maybe he'll join the livestreams. Maybe he'll make an Instagram of his own to post more of Steve.

People, being people, start shipping them. The two of them have a good laugh over it.

One day, out of nowhere, Steve shows up on one of his livestreams wearing a wedding ring. Comments go crazy. Bucky joins him on the couch, throws an arm around his shoulder, flashing his own matching band, smirking lazily.

The rest is mayhem. But they don't care. For Steve, life is perfect.

[I'd love to see Steve Rogers vs internet troll he'd eat that up]

I hope the good Steve Rogers authors see this. This has potential I think.