#trimax wolfwood has my whole heart

[renardsruses]

Wolfwood sketchies!!

[nexadarling]

Trigun Fics

Here I am compiling all my fav Trigun fics, from heart wrenching to fluffy, and everything in-between. Mostly Vashwood! This is a living document and is updated regularly ^.^

(Explicit fic recs are listed separately due to link limitations in Tumblr posts)

Organized by rating > word count > status. Any fic that features "+" after the word count is on-going/uncompleted. As they finish, I will add the final word count.

Please tag an author if I haven't! I tried to find them all, but there are a couple I couldn't/wasn't sure about

Special shoutout to the YAT and Pen Pal Discords for providing so many of these (and writing several)

Read the tags, you know how it goes! And feel free to leave your own recs as well!

Waiting for me (Waiting for you) by @mariadperiad20 - 8k; Vashwood; Not Rated;Trimax/98; Soulmate AU; The Eye of Michael took Wolfwood's soulmate mark, but they can't take his soulmate; Fuck, god, okay... wow I had so many emotions reading this?? Wolfwood's self-hatred is piloting this whole thing he has so many feelings and he thinks Vash deserves so much better than him GOD

sandgrouse by Evercovi - 4k; Vashwood; G; 98 verse I think? Could also be early Trimax; Vash's birthday is coming up and Wolfwood is stressed about getting him the perfect present; They're so stupid! They're so cute!! The author's note at the end killed me in one sentence!!!!

Polyguns Presentation Night! by WateredMyCrops ( @what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 7k; Polygun; G; Modern AU; Milly notices her partners are shy about talking about things they love, so she sets up a surprise presentation night for them

kindergarten crush by @jumpinginmuddypuddles - 12k; Vashwood; G; Modern AU; Kindergarten Teacher Vash; Wolfwood's little brother (Livio) is in Vash's class and oh no the teacher is really cute

a promise or a threat by  @beelzebby666 - >1k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Super short, but an exploration of a visceral love and trust between Wolfwood and Vash; Wolfwood wouldn't stop Vash from hurting him, but Vash never would

your touch, your glance, your hand by @procrastinating-bookworm - 1k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; much needed comfort for Wolfwood, on account of the hell his wrist goes through carrying that stupid cross

Miracles and Other Blunders of Providence by @aboxthecolourofheartache - 1k; Gen; T; Tristamp; Vash is delirious after Nai cuts off his arm, and Luida tries to comfort him; whump

the secret about that boy by puphf - 1k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU- College; You ever sit in your college class, bored, and think "huh wouldn't it be funny if there was a mind reader in here?" Vash does that, except his crush is the one who can read minds; this is tragically short, but it's so cute and silly I had to add it

Marked by Dozycerberus - 1k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; A short look into Wolfwood's mark from the Eye of Michael and his relation to it in different Trigun canons

hold you through the night until you smile by @fionanotjuliet - 2k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; wing grooming ❤️❤️

Never Let Me Go by Puffls ( @whimsicmimic) - 2k; Vashwood; T; Transistor AU; rewrite of the opening cut scene of the game Transistor; Vash is a singer, Wolfwood is his body guard; Wolfwood ends up in the Punisher; no I don't know how it works, yes I think it's cool as fuck; (edit: I have now played Transistor and can confidently say not only do you have to read this, you should also play Transistor for maximum emotion)

built to die here by @jes12321 - 2k; Vashwood; T; Soulmate AU; Soulmate worries show up on your skin. Vash doesn't think he deserves his soulmate

oceans to drown in by @hashtagcaneven - 2k; Stryfewood; T; Pirate AU; Captain Meryl challenges Wolfwood to a sword fight to earn a place on her ship, the most sexually charged sword fight follows; Vash is a siren in this which isn't super important to the plot but it is important to me; Kuro you have the honor of being the only Stryfewood fic on this list lol

you know i tell the truth (we are just the same) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 2k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; After the Ark, Vash and Wolfwood talk about what they've been through to become what they are. Or, you know, as much as they talk about anything; I am shaking these two and begging through tears for them to get their shit together just once

Sanctuary by @thechaoscryptid - 2k; Vashwood; T; Tristamp; T4T; Vash knows the violence that has created Wolfwood, but he also sees the care and gentleness of Nicholas; Pleeaasseeee they're so soft here, taking care of each other even though things suck I fucking love them

in the afterglow of an isolated heart by the14thmusician - 3k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; touch-starved Vash gets emotional after an unexpected hug, Wolfwood talks him through it

the heaviness we've known by CosmicJourney ( @cosmictapestry) - 3k; Gen; T; Tristamp; Brad fixes Vash up after the events of the sandsteamer and tries to do right by his kid; I'm not gonna lie, this one hurts. It fucking hurts a lot and it doesn't get better at the end, but it's still filled with such sweetness. Just, watching someone you consider your son be Vash the Stampede is never going to be easy

your pride like water in your lungs (drowns all the words it stole) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 3k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Wolfwood helps Vash deal with his phantom limb pain; please god there is much emotion in this tiny little fic Vash why are you like that please just kiss the man!!!!!

Straight Edge of Intimacy by @bendycxmet - 3k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Wolfwood gets them run out of a town, and Vash asks him to help him shave to make it up to him; The tension, the pining... the not-so-casual intimacy of shaving someone's face... I am eating this Whole

i am a diamond on the inside (just add the pressure) by @sascake - 4k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; Soulmate AU; tattoos show up on your soulmate, Wolfwood has A Lot, Vash kind of loves it

i went too far (when I was begging on my knees) by @flowercitti - 4k; Vashwood; T; reincarnation through the different Trigun versions; soulmates; this is beautifully poetic and achingly sad

walking in your landscape by @pushclouds - 4k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; Vash takes a vacation trip to a farm and meets cowboy Wolfwood

tell me why your hands are cold (show me how) by desertblooms - 4k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Sick fic; Whump for both of them honestly; Vash uses too much power at once and makes himself dangerously sick, Wolfwood is left to desperately try to keep him alive; This hurts, the way that Wolfwood needs Vash is so obvious in every one of his actions

proximity by @corvidrogue - 5k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Touch-starved Vash has trouble accepting physical affection from anyone but Wolfwood

touch me like nobody else does (lovely) by @flowercitti - 5k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Vash tries to get rid of his wings, Wolfwood grooms them for him; pretty big self harm cw for the beginning of this

Guardian Angel by @hypermoyashi - 5k; Vashwood; T; Post-Trimax; A year after the events of Trimax, Vash hears Wolfwood's voice; Let this fic be known as how to cry in less than 5k; this is very bittersweet, but it is precious and so worth a read

not to me, not if it's you by tickyicky - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Wolfwood struggles to help Vash through the aftermath of being run out of a town he tried to help

but to me, the comet brings no fear (no, i gaze joyfully) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax/Post-Trimax; When a comet comes across the sky once every 50 years, it is a once-in-a-lifetime chance for most people. For Vash, it is a reminder; When I tell you I cried, that I sobbed reading this I am being so fucking serious. Trai does such a wonderful job exploring grief and mourning and Vash's anger and loneliness; and it's Vashwood, but it's not really about them, it's about so much more and anyway I'm gonna go lay down and cry into a pillow thanks

Non-Threatening Touch by saturninesunset - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Touch-starved; Wolfwood loses track of where they stand with each other when they start sharing a bed to help with nightmares. Vash crosses some lines; This is so cute????? I'm screaming???? All of my ailments have been fixed pls shove this in your face immediately

i have a heart made for taking flight by corvidcaper ( @not-miss-marple) - 8k; Vashwood; T; 5+1; Creature Vash; Vash accidentally courts Wolfwood like a bird. It takes them a while to figure out; PLEASE THIS IS SO CUTE

to god, who i hate so much by @skittidyne - 9k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; A close call forces some feelings into the open in a way that nobody involved is ready for; God, jesus fucking christ, this one is all about the vicious co-dependency of Vashwood and it hurts and they love each other so fucking bad; maybe have some fluff prepared to read after this one

lost in the sugar rush by @pushclouds - 10k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - Coffee shop; Wolfwood falls for the cute barista; Nai and Wolfwood have coffee-based standoffs; I was giggling to myself through this whole thing

absol(utely) obsessed by @earlgay-milktea - 11k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Vash is president of the Pokemon society, Livio is a huge Pokemon nerd, and no one here is normal; this is pure silly, goofy fun and it made me smile so much. They're so stupid I hate them. They deserve the world

whose woods these are (i think i know) by intimatopia ( @ciaran) - 13k; Vashwood; T; Fairytale AU; Prince Wolfwood; Suspiciously magical(?) Vash; Vash runs from what he wants as per usual, Wolfwood just wants to know he'll come back

Cheap and Cheerful by AllegedlyAnnie ( @niftyanswersorryiasked) - 13k; Vashwood; T; AU but still on NML; Vash answers a help-wanted ad for an orphanage in need of a handyman, Wolfwood sees through his bullshit in every universe; this might be the most 98/Trimax characterization I've read so far. Their banter is perfect!!!

Sentido by @orcelito - 19k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Vash's relationship with each of his senses, as an inhuman Plant with incredibly advanced senses. Spoiler, it's not always pleasant

ghosting by @orcelito - 22k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - early 2000s; T4T; Vash owns a B&B that he's pretty sure is haunted, Milly and Meryl convince Wolfwood to exorcise the ghost for him. Wolfwood is not an exorcist; I injected this directly into my bone marrow actually; Wolfwood and Vash are so outrageously down bad for each other, I love them; This also deals beautifully with just the grieving process in general. I wanna give Vash such a huge hug

Strap the Wing to Me, Death Trap Clad Happily by Rayawastaken - 24k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; pure 100% hurt/comfort centered around Vash's wings and general eldritch horror-ness

Malediction by @revenantpoet - 28k; Vashwood; T; Mythology AU; Sun-god Wolfwood; Moon-god Vash; Wolfwood finds a poor creature locked away, and something about it tugs at him; Hell yeah sun god Wolfwood!!!! He's so warm and caring he gets to be the sun!!!!; This is genuinely so beautiful and the world building is just!!! So lovely!!!!

ritornello by allandnothing - 29k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Demi Vash; Seeing Vash renders Wolfwood entirely useless, Livio makes fun of him for it (that's it that's the fic); the tone and humor of this had me on the fucking floor. Might be a new comfort fic

Calendula by @a-bi-disaster-writing - 32k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Vash works at the greenhouse, Wolfwood works at the college daycare. He takes a tiny Rollo to visit the greenhouse and promptly falls in love

with you, the sun rises slowly by @beesinspades - 33k; Vashwood; T;  Modern AU; Wolfwood's cute neighbor loses his apartment to a fire, so he spontaneously offers to let him stay at his place while the damage is repaired; Asexual Vash!! I really like how the author handled Vash's sexuality here, and especially Wolfwood's reaction to it. It felt real (Beelio I love your ace Vash tysm)

an odious damned lie by @riverenne - 47k; Gen with a heavy splash of Vashwood at the end; T; His Dark Materials/The Golden Compass x Trigun AU; Alternate Timeline AU; Takes place on NML, roughly in the (altered) Tristamp timeline; Good GOD I cannot possibly recommend this enough! The writing is beautiful, the daemons are perfect, and the exploration into the characters and their relationships is so!!! Amazing!!! Read it, just read it, please

Gunsmoke - A Coffee Shop/Mafia AU by evil_moo_bunny - 13k+; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - Coffee shop; Vash works at a coffee shop, Wolfwood works for redacted, Meryl and Milly work also redacted at the coffee shop with Vash, everyone has secrets, and Milly is a wonderful matchmaker; This is a series, but I didn't want to link both works separately

if you're looking for a sign: this is it by @elemmacil - 33k+; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; "Nicholas D. Wolfwood has taken over sign duty for Saint Michael’s. Across the street, Vash Saverem is giving out free hugs."; This is so freaking funny and cute and I am frothing at the mouth for more of it

the monster in the ruins of ship five by @beesinspades - 48k+; Vashwood; T; Tristamp; Creature Vash; After Julai, Wolfwood searches for Vash. What he finds is a creature in the shell of a spaceship; VASH GETS THE ZOOMIES; this version of creature Vash is so delightful, Wolfwood's inner monologue is perfect, Sheryl and Lina are The Best

whispers (of the damned) by ValiantRose ( @sleepyartcryptid) - 2k; Vashwood; M; this is just... a Moment of the two of them being so tired but so in love and glad to have not lost each other yet again

all the blood that you still owe by @procrastinating-bookworm - 4k; implied Mashwood; M; Tristamp; Tristamp Wolfwood takes too many vials, and Vash and Meryl try their best to take care of him

Like Petals in a Storm by @maadskittlez29 - 5k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse Hanahaki AU (w/ a happy ending of course); When Wolfwood realizes what's happening to him, he resolves to hide it from Vash as long as he can, then leave when things are too bad to handle. Of course, things don't exactly go to plan

if only the rain were gasoline by halfdemonvash - 5k; Vashwood; M; Wolfwood takes a bullet for Vash. Emotions ensue; god I have so many of this author's stuff on my lists lol if anyone knows their tumblr pls tell me so I can tag them? I clearly love their writing

you can spend all your love making time by Anonymous- 7k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax fix it (this is my new canon)

you are my religion and my religion is you by reddiextozier - 7k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Vash confesses his thoughts to his priest; I do think this should really be E, but regardless it's a really fun read. This fandom has given me a penchant for vw fucking in confessionals whoops

wild horses couldn't drag me away by littleghost ( @ghostlandtoo) - 8k; Vashwood; M; Wild West AU; Wolfwood's POV of a kind heart to haunt (E)

white pony by tagteamme ( @phaltu) - 10k; Vashwood; M; Vampires and Demons AU (but still on NML); Vash comes into town searching for a "creature of the night," Wolfwood is the crux of the community as the charismatic priest

Something Fruity, Something Sweet by frankiesin ( @wolfwoodweddingdress) - 11k; Vashwood; M (I think it should be E tho); Modern AU - Coffee shop; Vash is a Starbucks customer with an insane sweet tooth, Wolfwood is just fucking in love with him

Someday out of the Blue by @tenshinokorin - 11k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax/reincarnation AU; 100 years after the end of Trimax, Vash runs into a man with the same name and face as his Wolfwood; I put off reading this for so long cause I knew it would make me sad. And it did! But it was also so cute and sweet and warm. And also thinking about it makes me want to cry, but read it anyway pls

his keeper by princecl0ud - 11k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; Vash disappears after a skirmish and is gone so long that the gang starts to give up, but Wolfwood can't let him go so easily; Vash had no clue anyone would be so dedicated in looking for him

Gun to a Bar Fight by ValiantRose ( @sleepyartcryptid) - 11k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; VW get caught up in a bar fight and kind of maybe feel stupidly drawn to each other; shaking these dumbasses they're so cute I hope they get married

Shoot the Moon by @hypermoyashi - 14k; Vashwood; M; Canonverse; Wolfwood Whump; Wolfwood has to make some not very safe decisions to break Vash out of his creature/Plant state; "the existential horror of being in love with a nuclear reactor" is my new favorite tag; Vash gets so upset about hurting Wolfwood and Wolfwood is so intentional with his love in this, I adore them

Black is the Color by @tenshinokorin - 15k; Vashwood; M; Post Trimax fix-it/resurrection; Three years after the events of Trimax, Vash realizes his hair is coming back in blond. He also realizes he's not as alone as he thought he was; I bought a poster of fanart for this, is how much I love it. In case you were wondering

I Believe in the Kingdom Come by @tenshinokorin - 17k; Vashwood; M; Sequel to Someday out of the Blue; Post Trimax fix-it/reincarnation AU; Vash and Nick are still together, though they both have their secrets. Wolfwood is closer than anyone realizes

i know i'm known for giving love away by molotovhappyhour - 18k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax; Wolfwood stays at a haunted house in the middle of the desert to try to get rid of the spook; The spook is not, in fact, very good at being spooky... and something feels familiar about it, he just can't quite recall why....; This made me wanna cry for so many good reasons, holy shit! And such good story telling UGH

i sought him whom my soul loved by molotovhappyhour - 20k; Vashwood; M; Vash doesn't age, but Wolfwood is reborn after every life and at every time is hit with the full force of his past lives. He always seeks out Vash; crying in the club about this one! Fellas is it gay to search the planet time and time again in every lifetime for the same person? To wait every time to be found, never knowing when that time may be? I hate it here

Figure Me Out by WateredMyCrops ( @what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 33k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; 5+1 of Vash being inhuman and Wolfwood showing him he doesn't care; really check the tags on this one

Entertaining Strangers by @deludedfantasy - 41k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Fiber Artist Vash; Guardian Angel Wolfwood; Wolfwood is sent to the human world to find a child to protect, but instead he meets Vash, who lets him stay in his home and takes care of him; So nice to see angel Wolfwood, and I really loved how it was done; Seeing Wolfwood's care for those around him is precious

Kill Me With A Smile by @ShyKokiriMouse - 43k; Vashwood; M (treat this like it's E, it does contain explicit sex scenes); Tattoo Artist Vash; Florist Wolfwood; Spanish speaking Wolfwood; Wolfwood works next to a tattoo shop and is intrigued and confused by Vash, who always seems to cover his tattoos; First of all I am a tattoo artist Vash truther, thank you very much; This is my favorite VW flavor!!! Both pining, Wolfwood so hopelessly gone he can't stop himself, and Vash incredibly emotionally constipated

Open Me Up by WateredMyCrops (@what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 47k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; part 2 of Figure Me Out, but this time Wolfwood gets Known; for real, check the damn tags

Fatherhood Looks Good on You by frankiesin ( @wolfwoodweddingdress) - 62k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Roommates; Social worker Wolfwood; Vash comes to Wolfwood with a desperate plea to help him adopt two children, and Wolfwood has never been good at saying no to the man he's in love with

Aces in Space by @hypermoyashi - 70k; Vashwood; M; Sci-fi AU; Royalty AU; Prince Vash; Childhood friends; Demi Vash; Greyace Wolfwood; Wolfwood has long accepted that prince Vash is dead, no matter how hard Knives tries to find him. But when a stowaway on his ship looks very much like Vash might at this age... it gives him an idea; Listen I love Moya's writing, their world-building, Meryl and Milly's whole existence!!! And the budding relationship for Vashwood is so, so precious

Make Light Work by @hypermoyashi - 77k; Vashwood; M; Tristamp; T4T; Vash wakes up with severely impaired vision and has to learn to adapt; The description of this as Vash navigates his world with barely any ability to see is honestly just so fucking good

home is just a room full of my safest sounds by halfdemonvash - 29k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Neighbors; Wolfwood takes in a cat only to find her rightful owner lives literally across the hall from him. He gets too attached to both of them very quickly; cat dad Wolfwooooooddd!!!! And him and Vash are so cute and Kuroneko is a little shit I love her so much

Cryptobotany - The Study of Plants That May or May Not Exist by @puffinpastry - 61k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Appalachia; Creature Vash; Wolfwood and Livio find a creature? person? that has crash landed in the forest and can't bring themselves to leave him there. Especially not with evidence of a harsh past on his body; okay okay LOOK I know I'm so biased about creature Vash but this is so good okay the world building and Vash's characterization and KNIVES!! CHRONIC ILLNESS WOLFWOOD

The Courtship of Nicholas D Wolfwood by @screamingshark - 107k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Mermaid AU where Plants are mermaids and working with humans in research facilities; Wolfwood is a new security guard at the institute where Vash and Nai reside. Vash decides to court the hell out of him (no one thinks to inform Wolfwood that that's what's happening)

In the Next Life by @orcelito - 109k+; Vashwood; M; post-Trimax time travel (fix it?) AU; Vash goes back in time to try to make things better, but he still carries the weight of what he went through

Make it to Daybreak by @hypermoyashi - 161k+; Vashwood; M; Demon Slayer AU; Demon Vash; Meryl meets Vash, who challenges her beliefs about demons

come and see by @avoidingavoidance - 427k+; Vashwood; M; Post-Tristamp S1; Canon Divergence; After July, Wolfwood struggles to find his place in the world, but some things are too precious to give up on; I am screaming and crying and aggressively rattling the bars of my enclosure; Please for the love of Vashwood read this; the yearning, the angst, the fucking writing, all of it is so perfect I cannot give enough praise

if you scrolled this far down, you're so fucking gay, i love you

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading in jp 12 - trimax ch 1 and 2 time HBRBRHBRHBRHBR

last we left off, vash meets wolfwood and i smashed out a bunch of nonsense saying how wolfwood brazenly climbed over one of the walls vash has.

i think more of this happened in trimax ch 1 and 2. there's something going on with the framing here.

being buck naked

so previously in post #10 ive mentioned how meryl and milly stumbling into a half naked vash is him showing them the most open and vulnerable self he has. in trimax ch 1 this happens again

except he isnt half naked this time, hes buck naked and just took some bullets right in front of wolfwood and his ruined salad grub.

theres also this scene where vash talks pretty openly about how he feels about the fifth moon incident. hes scared, and he declares it to wolfwood. buuuut, check out the bubbles ive highlighted here:

i think this might be a problem stemming from DarkHorse's work bc in the JP its actually like this:

❗Vash doesnt say "I chose to retire"❗

Wolfwood says "So ya chose to retire." (more directly: so ya chose to live on the down-low?) the Tell here being the kansai dialect in the bubble.

i dont like nitpicking over translation mistakes. id probably slip up here and there if i did trigun too bc the japanese level in here is higher than what Shounen Jump has. also no hiragana aid in trimax cry

anyway

this then implies wolfwood has sussed out vash pretty well enough for vash to continue spilling more information. i suspect if wolfwood didn't, the conversation miiight have ended right there.

these panels, man. wolfwood is looking with half of his expression covered. meanwhile, vash doesnt meet him and just wants to hide. maaaybe run? idk. interpretations ahoy.

thats a fun dynamic. on another note

that vash in trimax ch 1-2 seems to be using Ore with wolfwood throughout their interaction. i suppose its a continuation of how vash seems to have some trust towards wolfwood, as he did watch him give whats little of his money left towards kids previously.

but if im understanding how nightow is now framing this whole concept correctly, the whole pronoun usage here is to drive home how multi-faceted vash is. that is to say, all of these parts are him, and we as the viewer see it all laid pretty bare.

the characters meanwhile do not, and certainly not wolfwood... yet. though if you wanna interpret the nakedness it might be that the TriGang have seen the rawest part of what drives Vash.

aside, boku is still around. internally when hes reflecting and feeling unsure, Boku is used in this scene:

....hmm 🤔

otherwise hes using Ore and seems pretty resigned to confronting the situation with knives as wolfwood delivers his colt back.

The threat

ok this is fun. so take a look at the last bubble in the JP side. (all EN versions here are from OH)

rubby hands. hey Boku is back. and theres a heart sakldfjasdlf anyway okay so my sloppy/direct translation of all of these would be

I won't give you even a moment to reload. I won't kill you, but I'll entrust you with one request. Soon, I will leave this town. And after! If I find that something happened to my family or this town... I'll have you take all responsibility, okay❤️? "

god this is so good its chilling more of this nightow pls

Whua-?! Protect them from the other thugs. Sweet deal, isn't it?! And hey... Fail, and know that I have every intention to chase you down to the very depths of hell.

HBHRBHBRRBHRBR. so many things going on even in the EN version.

he also says family. i cant find this in the EN version but he does reciprocate the familial feelings Sheryl and Lina has towards him.... ;w; ... hhh.

[the-nysh]

Oh Meryl.....:') This will be a longpost commentary on the events of Trimax vol5 & 6 primarily from her perspective, so let's get into it!

Alright, so remember the foreshadowing in Meryl's line about seeing Vash's 'entire enigmatic past' from Trimax vol3?!

Well in Trimax vol5 all that becomes true! When getting 'touched by an angel' directly connects her to Vash's memories through contact with his feathers, she gets a front row seat to personally SEE, feel, and experience ALL the worst pain and trauma Vash has endured over his functionally immortal lifetime of horrors!!! Bearing witness to just how heavy a burden of sorrow and torment he's suffered carried with him that she's always wondered about; now she knows the full context of everything.

From witnessing his lone struggles as a younger child first learning how to use a gun, grinding through all his bloody mistakes, losses, and failures, to the worst calamity that he, as a transformed nonhuman 'gun' himself, became capable of unleashing on the planet: the terrifying destruction of July itself.

As Vash regains his lost memories of July through a meltdown of grief, regrets and revelations of his own (how firing his power inadvertently killed everyone he knew and loved), all at once, his pain while reliving those horrors of the past resonates to become her pain. (Remember this for vol6!)

And just to grab a mic to reiterate, Meryl is only a normal human woman here, with no special powers or superhuman training to prepare her how to handle any of this! (This disaster exceeds her realm of expertise!) She’s also the only one who gets to see, understand, and resonate with the entirety of Vash’s pain and feelings on such a direct, private, and literally mind-melding intimate level of connection. (Linking the human with the inhuman/monstrous.) So of course she’s terrified! Being thrust into such an unprecedented dangerous situation, witnessing inescapable horrors beyond human comprehension, AND by getting a very real demonstration of Vash’s power (on the verge of exploding out of control) and his transformed inhumanity RIGHT UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL!  

So it’s truly a testament to her mental fortitude and resilience that she didn’t just break from the information overload or succumb to the level of despair and terror right there--no, she bravely keeps her wits about her, and despite everything she remains on Vash’s side, shooting first to defend him (aiming right for Legato using the gun she picked up from Zazie's corpse) as the one who breaks the multiple-way stalemate between all their enemies instead! GO MERYL!!!!

(It's why this moment's probably one of my top favorites in the whole manga!!! ;o;) Cause the entire time, even while under severe mental distress, crawling through the rubble with his powers and feathers surging everywhere, Vash had kept her safe and physically unharmed within his wings, and then her first action upon surfacing was to take charge to protect him in turn!! I love it; cause even during such a dire emergency and all the mental stress she's put under while in the heat of the moment, her faith and dedication (to fight without hesitation at his side) still aim true~

And even after Legato critically pushes the crisis from bad to worse, to the point Vash is provoked into almost firing his Angel Arm in feral-retaliation to stop him (holy foreshadowing of their future duel!) with Meryl literally stuck in the middle of all this chaos (while shocked, powerless, and terrified--bless her heart) as Vash struggles to regain control of himself...

(Note: even Wolfwood was blown back by the surging energy, but with Meryl literally RIGHT THERE under Vash, it's amazing she didn't get hit being that close to him.) ...she STILL doesn't run away from him once the dust settles, and is in fact the first one to approach him in concern to ask if he's ok after...

(So whew, a relieved round of applause for Meryl remaining strong in the active face of so much strife!!) The immediate aftermath of this whole experience gives her the tangible proof and perspective from Vash to understand and fear that Knives--as his twin in power but having the actual intent to destroy the world behind it, is fully capable of ending humanity's future.

Of course, the experience doesn't also leave her unscathed without any lasting mental scars to cope with...as Trimax vol6 so graciously shows us how things will always Get Worse before they can get better...

Where sure enough, she's already having difficultly sleeping with night terrors and loss of appetite--it's honestly no surprise the terrible experience has given her symptoms of ptsd she'd be made of something unbelievably superhuman if she weren't affected, and consulting with Wolfwood unfortunately doesn't offer her anything (helpful) she doesn't already know...(cause at this point, she's literally seen more of Vash, especially the amount suddenly exposed to all at once, than Wolfwood could possibly know how to advise her on. He's still struggling with plenty of his own fears vs loyalties towards Vash himself.)

Only that he stresses the importance she weighs her options now to make the decision to quit her job while she still can (a choice and the freedom to 'get out' that Wolfwood comparatively doesn't have under direct orders from Knives) to remove herself and Milly from getting further involved with Vash--specifically the life-threatening danger he poses as a living weapon (despite his best intentions and character as a person!) set to explode with the firepower to raze the world--if Meryl values her life.

But truly, how does Meryl feel about that? What does she value and care for more, that'd be most important to her--her life or her job? Is following Vash (surveilling him for 'risk management') more than just a job to her at this point? What about her feelings towards him as a person--the man she already knows, vs her need to reconcile with the truth (that he's not even human!) that she didn't know until just recently. Is the level of imminent danger and risk she's putting herself into, now that she fully understands how dire, truly worth it (for him) this time? And if she still truly cares for him, does it even matter what he is? Despite any pros or cons and conflicting feelings about it, which will ultimately remain the stronger reason compelling her choice to stay?

Whew! She has many things to evaluate and consider going forward, especially if she wants to continue at his side. (And as Wolfwood stresses, continuing puts Milly at risk too, so that's even more weight/responsibility to balance on Meryl's shoulders.) Including processing the very nature of her fears--to identify what it is that truly terrifies her (is it truly Vash or something else?) before she can hope to face or overcome them. Before this biggest hurdle tips the scales to debilitate her resolve or outright prevents her from continuing her job at all. For now, she thinks and relates back to the firepower she gained when she first fired a gun...

And ah, HERE IT IS, she recalls what's scared her the most from her own past memories: "I gained the power of death at my fingertips. It was terrifying." Cause the first time she ever shot a person and realized the weight of the power she holds, she hated it. Shocked, collapsed, paralyzed, coming undone in the streets, closing herself off from others, regretting her action terribly... It was all too much. (Sound...familiar to the guilt and regrets of someone else we know? Meryl's shooting style is also notably non-lethal...because she too doesn't like to kill! When her first time wielding 'death' with her Derringers upset her this badly that she needed to adjust to be able to continue her job that required arming herself with this type of power...)

So remember when she resonated with the pain of Vash's memories? Seeing when he first struggled learning how to use a gun too, and all the blood and loss that accompanied it? However...his experiences didn't just end there, with only his first time shooting a person.....cause the first time he shot his real power (without him knowing what would happen) he caused the destruction of an entire city, killing everyone he loved in it! He didn't just 'gain the power of death at his fingertips,' he literally BECAME it, armed with the power to end the world. Hating and regretting his action so terribly, the catastrophe traumatized him with amnesia and led to a full-blown meltdown in grief and despair once he finally remembered. With Meryl there, witnessing and feeling all of it along with him. (His pain became her pain; his trauma became hers...)

That the sheer magnitude of wielding that kind of terror, as an intrinsic, inseparable part of himself (unlike a handheld gun you can choose to put down; he can't), let alone carrying the fear of it going out of control again if he's not careful, is indescribable. And if Meryl can now understand the gravity of that in relation to her own gun experiences (when the memory of firing her Derringers was already enough crushing weight for her to fear) then as the peace-loving person she knows him to be, who's always tried his hardest not to kill anyone, the crushing multitudes she knows he must feel now upon recovering his memories filled with so much death unleashed by his own hands must be unbearable. Feeling precisely just how much MORE terrifying and overwhelming the burden must be for him. It makes her wonder HOW can he still even bring himself to pull the trigger?!

Just look at Meryl's collapsed posture, it's the same she felt in her own past experiences...only this time it's directed in relation towards him--almost expressed in his place for the crushing weight he must feel. She's outright screaming/crying/bawling for him in empathy for the pain he must feel every time he's forced to fight and shoot someone with so much baggage behind it. Oh Meryl....:') (This is probably the strongest we've seen her cry for him...and it certainly won't be the last she cries in concern to relieve the pain of his burden.)

And Meryl, watching him fight on regardless, becomes struck and speechless for another reason, as she realizes how much his incredible strength and fortitude allow him to push past his unbearable pain to continue his job: "I felt...his determination is even stronger than the regret he carries."

Which is true, for the same stronger feeling that compelled him to stop at nothing, despite being on the verge of total collapse bearing his regrets of July, when he grit and forced himself to continue on his mission to save her from the Dragon's Nest. :') This is how he does it; how he continues to fight for what's important. (And yes she was that important, as the thought of losing her like his loved ones at July, is what fueled his determination back then to keep going.)

However, the struggle is never easy, as Vash, for his own part, masked behind his new goggle-edged glasses and kind Rem-like smiles 'as usual,' has not been coping well behind closed doors at all. (That Meryl could even sense an air of unusually 'off' distant/detached/avoidant behavior from him that she asks Milly about it.) We see him immersing himself in thousands of rounds of (non-lethal) target practice til his hand bleeds, and when drilling that level of focus + exposure isn't enough to take the edge off, he visits a church during service to hear a sermon on forgiveness...only for him to deem it hopeless there's no possible release from his sins when he can't even forgive himself, and there's even evidence he'd been drinking in not-quite-so savory (healthy or responsible) ways--unsettling even Wolfwood that something's uncannily off with him. (All being different attempted coping methods to drown out and escape the pain of his past regrets, but even Vash knows it's impossible now to forget...)

So all it takes is one slip-up when he's depressed off his game for everything to tumble into a trainwreck... Where Meryl seeing him block a bullet with his powers (instead of his usual self-aware dodging?) triggers all that terror to come flooding back into a panic attack.

Where it's truly unfortunate (and oh it hurts...) as an accident, something involuntary--a messy, instinctual reaction completely beyond either of their control. Cause Meryl didn't anticipate her ptsd to manifest and incapacitate her like this! that a single flash of his feathers would remind her of Everything--of all the worst horrors those powers are capable of when unleashed, the weaponized death and terror it represents, and the very moment she felt and experienced all of it while trapped powerless and panicked to do anything... No no no, returning to that headspace is horrible; it's all still too fresh to relive and TOO MUCH trauma for a human like her to bear; she couldn't help coming undone in the streets in a far worse way than she's ever had before (and I don't blame her.)

And Vash didn't mean to publically out himself as a nonhuman 'monster' to everyone either, when tensions were already high following Knives' mass murders for them to link the same culpability towards him, while he's still struggling to get a handle on his newly awakened powers too--ohshit indeed when they suddenly manifest and the truth breaches containment freaking everybody out in a witch-hunting mob of scorn, fear, misunderstandings, and hatred. (Ouch...)

What's more, Vash probably didn't even know Meryl had seen his memories, or had been affected by his trauma to such an overwhelming degree--since the transfer happened more as an autonomous side effect of his powers activating rather than anything he purposely intended....(once again, unintended consequences beyond his control; he never meant to cause any of this harm!!) So from his perspective he probably doesn't fully understand how to interpret her distress (apart from the crowd's?!) or know what to do to help. Cause reactions from strangers are one thing to bear, but if he sees her reaction to him--and his nonhuman display, as anything like theirs...then it's so much worse cause it's Meryl, who's known and been with him since the beginning. She's someone important he cares for...and now she's hurt and visibly scared from yet again another mistake he can't undo. ohno ohno he knows he messed up...

(Plus poor Milly has no context to understand what's wrong, or why Meryl's so upset either, since she'd been knocked out during the later parts of the Dragon's Nest to know what happened. So now she's alarmed and concerned trying to process why everything's suddenly gone to shit, anchoring Meryl the best she can, while shaken by the pain and cruelty Vash endures in such a situation masked with a smile...)

Despite the stones thrown by the crowd (nooo~) Vash's first priority concern is to run straight over to check on Meryl...

*And here's where I scream bloody murder* Cause that single flinch--from reaching towards her with that arm too, probably hurts him more than any of those stones thrown at him in hatred and revulsion that he's a monster. Cause to him it probably reads as a perceived rejection from Meryl (noooo~), and the amount he's hurt from realizing he's the one who hurt her this way....ohhhhh his crushing guilt must be heart-shattering...;A;

But there's no time, as before Meryl's even ready to speak or clarify how she feels, the choice she previously had on whether she wants to leave or stay is taken from her as Vash is the one who's forced to leave her instead. :')) The only thing Vash can do is repeatedly apologize as he runs away he can't even say goodbye--Wolfwood has to say that for him...and admit to Wolfwood how much he 'really feels like crying.'

(And once again poor Milly, left with no other explanations, can only read how much his pained empty mask of a smile has broken...)

What sucks even more, is knowing how much Meryl had already empathized with his pain (she could already feel that strongly for him!) and being in no condition to explain herself or her fears to him, once her panic subsides, she's bound to feel that much more terrible with guilt from realizing how her reaction (especially her flinch) had unintentionally hurt and pushed him away....leading towards a bad result she simply couldn't help and had no power to change...what a disaster.

But is someone as usually brave and tenacious like Meryl going to let that be the end of it? Broken on a disastrous parting and painful misunderstanding (she never meant to 'reject' him!!!) she literally had no say over? What of her brand of determination--especially towards what she feels (and decides) is most important, becoming stronger than the pain and regrets she carries? (Just like Vash! Can she find it within her to continue, or start over, inspired just as he does?)

Her struggle now becomes finding that strength (even a driving belief) to tentatively (re)build that trust and acceptance between them towards recovery. To endure, fight, and conquer those horrors to bridge (reconnect) the gap between the human and monstrous that separates them. (Especially if she truly cares and wants to do it--for the sake of what Matters, for what'll make the effort Worth it.) It'll be huge and seemingly insurmountable for any other person bearing the same strife she carries, but you can do it Meryl, I believe in you~~

[latenightfoxhunt]

I feel like trigun maximum just hit that perfect sweet spot of bad DID representation done right. like yes the classic small system, blackout split, with one of them being the stereotypical crazy murderer but there's more to trimax before and after their introduction thats so important. they took all of the DID villain movie tropes, put them in a dying word + a murder cult, and shouted the same thing they've been shouting at everyone for the past 80 chapters: THEY'RE STILL HUMAN, THEY DESERVE A FUTURE!! the same volume they introduce him in is the same volume they get thrown on their redemption arc, because it wasn't DID that was his problem it was their abuser and the thing he made them do. trimax just hits you over the head with all the themes with one character and they're well written and well loved in the rest of the series. they get a cowboy hat and they both purse the cowboy way! the main take away wasn't that razlo needs to be put in a cage, it was hey this protector is trying his best, he has his own emotions, be kind to him. it was really refreshing to see in media and I didn't expect it to come from this.

im afraid that trigun stampede is going to miss the mark. not in a sense that I think they're going to change the ending, but how the story is building up is different. we haven't been shown several instances of the average joe having to kill for personal gain to survive on no man's land, so it makes livio and razlo feel like an individual crazed threat looming over the horizon. it also leans into the horror of episode 6 and 7 and ends up having a demonizing way of depicting disassociation. when wolfwood is in the cell pleading for him and livios just standing there with his eye mysteriously glowing, it gives me the ick. not that there can't be a narrative where both livios and wolfwoods feelings are being recognized in a meaningful way, its more that there's too much time given to ruminate in wolfwoods pov, that the audience is going to see them as threatening longer duration. manga readers know whats coming but a majority of viewers do not. [I did absolutely enjoyed wolfwood pulling him out of disassociation with smell the smell of smoke and calmly saying wake up old friend, it melted my heart. I also thought it was funny when livio shot himself but thats just me and a whole other tangent lmao]

do I think this is going to be better when the series is finished and everyone has all of the pieces? yes, absolutely. its just that the years inbetween their redemption undos what made trimaxs good

TLDR: trimax makes you feel like a fucking idiot for even doubting for a chapter that they were going to stray from their core theme of "everyone deserves a future" just because these guys are a DID system with blood on their hands. meanwhile tristamp finds its faults in the time it takes to get livio and razlo to their redemption arcs because it paints them to be a looming threat more than 2 dudes in a lot of pain.

other systems in the trigun fandom please tell me your thoughts + we should be friends

[pepplemint]

Ok here's my Trimax Knives Defense (apart from everything obvious):

wolfwood getting blasted with his feelings while holding a gun to his face describes it as "all I could think about was how much I wanted to live" even as Knives outwardly is looking confident and ordering him around. You can't trust what he says about himself or his own motives.

when he kills he kills everyone instantly, every time. It's not that torture doesn't exist in the series, it doesn't shy away from horrible stuff. Who makes sure to kill in a single shot? Someone who is afraid they won't get a second shot.

we get to see Vash's reaction to stabbing and likely killing Rem being laughing, which is a real defense mechanism in- or reliving traumatic and/or painful situations that is often misunderstood. The fact that the author knows this, and made sure to show Vash reacting like that to killing someone, puts a whole other perspective on Knives manic laughing after the fall.

Speaking of defense mechanisms - fear and sadness being turned into anger is very common with emotionally repressed people. Not being able to process whatever strong negative emotion you're feeling, you will react as if you're being attacked. Whenever Knives is emotionally hurt he takes a moment looking emotional before having an aggressive reaction. That pause is important - it's the truth before the protective mask comes on. These reactions are consistent throughout the entire series. See: witnessing the Last Run, Vash giving him some hard truths, Vash leaving the ark, literally the whole story.

Whenever someone seems to be getting too close in a way that makes him vulnerable or might reject him he violently rejects them first with the most surefire words to hurt them. Yet, when he is the one being left, he is desperate for them to stay. Might be reading into it but this is classical abandonment issues.

He has no clear picture of what a "win" would look like. He feels like it's his only purpose as an independent to make sure their kind can be safe. Thinking Vash is dying as he passed out in the last battle Knives thoughts are "You no longer have to be burned by a reality that is too painful." <- this is how Knives feels. This sentence is almost envious. (And it's extra interesting juxtapositioned with Vash later on becoming a link between humans and plants, to make sure all of them are safe. Because Knives wasn't wrong - but he didn't get it right either.)

He keeps fighting even with no way to win. If he admits to himself he hadn't done the correct thing, he would also have to face what he had done. (See: when he sees the plants positive memories of humans he completely on-his-knees- face-on-the-floor-screaming breaks down.) (And oh, would ya look at that, when he does admit he was wrong finally he kills himself after. Almost as if he couldn't live with the knowledge.)

Final conclusion: Knives is a very scared person who never learned how to process his emotions and who grew a thick mask and a wall around his heart to protect himself, keeping people at a distance. He isn't evil or sadistic or considers himself better. He could have been saved at pretty much any point by forcing him to see a proper therapist

TLDR: Committing mass murder is his coping mechanism, let him be 😭😭😭 lmao

[ultraviolet-cello]

Tristamp rewatch, episode 2! Took me a little longer to get to this because I think episode 2 is like,,,, I never have anything to say about it lmao I don't have too many background details.

Nevertheless, below the cut [Not so long today!] are some theories, details, and character traits I've picked up on today's fine tooth comb rewatch! Also once again spoilers for Tristamp and Trimax.

Once again thanks to @tristampparty for organizing this, I'm having fun :]

So! In sharp contrast with yesterday, I realized that we have a little bit more of Knives in that opening crash sequence - his face is less covered and the camerawork less Vashcentric. I am possibly the worst person to analyze expressions (I have That particular Autism Thing where I often misinterpret people's faces) but here are a few I found interesting

He just looks a little. again not good at interpreting expressions but anxious? scared, a little upset? I'm not entirely sure he understood how,,, violent the ship exploding would be - and Vash is clearly very very distressed. Also the dark circles under his eyes in that last one - he might have been crying. Much to think about.

Okay this scene, aside from being really funny, is Frustratingly Overlooked imo. Vash's whole,,, pathetic wet sona thing is often intentionally played up in order for him to get people to see him as less of a threat/weaker/more peaceful. And then to have Meryl and Roberto go yeah no we aren't buying that, Instantly calling him out on his bullshit is interesting.

I guess just as Wolfwood sees through Vash's smiles in 98/Trimax, Roberto and Meryl call him out on his schtick here. I also think that he's doing it more exaggerated than normal to kind of change the subject/alter some perceptions of him.

Rai-Dei spotted, and Nightow! Slightly higher quality because I realized I was watching in 720p instead of 1080 because I,,,, i don't know why lmao. anyway i like that nightow gets his own little poster its cute

I guess now would be the time to talk about children in Trigun. So as it goes on I'll build on this, but the fact that so many characters in Trigun are motivated by children is very very important to me; Rosa and the people of Jeneora Rock go after Vash not for themselves, but so they can have the money for their children. Father Nebraska appeals to Rosa to help him get Gofsef up on safe land again by pointing out that he's a father too.

A common trait amongst Trigun characters is their protectiveness of children - Wolfwood (obviously), Vash, Meryl, Roberto and Milly clearly, but Knives and Legato leave the children alive in that one town in 98, Livio in Trimax learns to see children as kinda cute - and the arguably most unsympathetic character, Chapel, is kinda the only guy that hurts/abuses children with 0 remorse. Hate that guy lmao.

It reads to me like a bunch of people wanting to break the cycle of abuse on this planet. but they don't really know how :(

On a lighter note, some screencaps I grabbed for fun, ft: The Thomas Loaf

my closing thought is about Roberto. So clearly he's, yknow, there instead of Milly (unforgivable /lh), but he and Milly have some interesting parallels and ideas - Primarily their observational skills.

In trimax, when Milly interacts with Vash, a lot of the time she's calling out strange expressions or oddities on him - in legato's appearance, that time she asks him why he's still smiling, and the arc where Meryl gets kidnapped.

Roberto is serving a similar role in observing and calling things out about Vash, but he's a little more,,, rough about it. He's nowhere near as (outwardly, the man's got a big heart) caring as Milly! I think it'll be good for Meryl to have Milly in s2 :]

Speaking of Meryl, I appreciate that she definitely has at least someone observational with her, especially while she's less experienced. I love her very much but she happens to be a very stubborn very impulsive person lmao. She definitely needs a balancing.

[andr0nap]

just dropping in to say I absolute ADORE your art, your colors and backgrounds and everything is absolutely gorgeous and I was losing my mind a little at your entire "ice planet au". Like, the backgrounds?!?!?! The environments?!! I need to sit down with those for a few hours and study how you did them because !!!! its amazing?! Also the ptarmigan inspired Tomas are adorable and I wish to hug them. And!! Diversity in Tomas?!! YES! My biology heart is singing with joy

also. Also. Sea Slug Vash. The Design. Is. Impeccable. Deep sea inspirations are absolutely perfect for the whole multidimensional kind of eldritch thing and vibe he + the plants have going on and it is stupendous. I absolutely love it

Aaaand the centaur au, is just delightful and I love the designs and the details to their forms, from Vash and Knives having different biology that's distinctly different when you look at details but close enough that Vash can mimic being horse-ish. (The coat patterns are so pretty!)

And (mostly last thing) this piece: https://www.tumblr.com/andr0nap/723041602792210432/turn-your-gaze-upon-this-wretched-holy-thing?source=share

I am in awe. The lighting, the detail work?! It has the feathers of trimax but the plant patterning of stampede (and oh gods, the patterning, the detail, the glow--) and then Vash's damned hand?! You've got all the pieces plus the texture and I'm just staring. AND the symbolism! Like, you've got Wolfwood staring at Vash, though Vash himself is hidden from view, and I'm just ajkghdkghjkd

Thank you very much for sharing your art!!

BWAAA THANK YOU SM!!! youre so sweet aaaa 🥺🥺🥺💕

im so happy people like my little ice planet au!! im no storyteller but i love worldbuilding and biology and putting my faves in new environments!! i definitely want to get back to this au when i get past the fandom burnout bc i put a lot of thought into this and id hate for it to end up gathering dust

YEAHH!! you get me!! i love feathery angel vash with all my heart but theres something so charming about the naked slimy chicken slug (more of that coming soon in the backlog dump)

designing the unicorn twins was an interesting little challenge, trying to make them look horse enough to be able to blend in with the masses but also predatory enough to make you go hey wait Thats Not A Horse. vash needs to put more effort into making himself look harmless because A. he moves differently from an equine when he isnt putting up an act with his exaggerated gait and B. the prey part in my centaurs brains is alive and well and theyre a suspicious bunch by nature so seeing vash stalk towards them in his normal gait would set off a lot of alarm bells

and im happy you like that piece!! it was my proper full render for the fandom and im still very proud of it!!! (esp the prosthetic.. and the fact that i remembered to turn on the timelapse yippee)

thank you again for the sweet ask!!!

[markcampbells]

my Vashwood fics!

Hello hello, everyone! I've been a bit busy this week, but while @trigunfanfic appreciation week is still going on I wanted to put together a quick self-rec post of my Vashwood fics other than the one I've already written a post for. There's a little bit of everything--fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, ace for ace, and even my first go at writing T4T!

your pride like water in your lungs (drowns all the words it stole)

"Listen, you idiot." He holds up a hand to pre-empt any interruption from Vash. "You're embarrassed, I get that. Plain as day. S'pose there ain't no point in arguin' with ya there's no shame in it, so I won't. You're gonna fight tooth and nail on this but I'll say it anyway. Sit here with me for an hour and I'll distract ya, like ya wanted. Hour's up, we don't have to talk about it ever again. Pretend it never happened if you're so deadset on ignorin' it. Best of both worlds."

My proudest achievement thus far, featuring: Vash experiencing phantom limb pain and struggling to accept help, Wolfwood offering help and comfort unconditionally, and a whole lot of angst and pining. (Please mind the bittersweet ending tag!) Originally written for Ace Trigun Week and written from the perspective of ace for ace Vashwood.

haunts me faithfully from dusk 'til dawn

Vash keeps his eyes shut and doesn't answer. It makes no difference if he does or doesn't; he hears him, feels him, whether or not he acknowledges him. On a homestead far from everything, Vash lets himself imagine he isn't in bed alone.

featuring: post-TriMax heavy angst and hurt no comfort. Vash is Really Going Through It here. I would say it's my fault but really it's Nightow's. I just made it worse.

i used to live alone before i knew you

"Don't act so doe-eyed." The smoke that drifts his way makes him imagine Wolfwood flicking his wrist for emphasis. "Ev'ry so often ya put on like you're making eyes at some skirt that crosses your path, but your heart ain't in it. For anyone. Ever, near as I can tell. ... Not judgin' that, by the way; just the way some folks are wired. Point is, you've got no intention of jumping my bones or anyone's. I'd've left a bit of mystery if you did."

featuring: ace for ace and T4T Vashwood fluff/getting together! Originally written for Ace Trigun week, centered around casual nudity. Vash has insecurities about his lack of experience and Wolfwood is staunch and reassuring through it all.

as much, and somehow more

Vash's lips twitch downwards into a frown. "You scratching yourself bloody and throttling my plants with secondhand smoke somehow isn't my problem? Not to mention leaving the bed cold." "Spiky, look." Nicholas drags the hand of the arm Vash isn't tending to through his hair. He'll be awake for the next few hours; he may as well shower at some point. "Was feeling fucked up about heading back to the orphanage. Bein' paraded around like some kinda success story when we both know I'm anythin' but. Wasn't gonna put that on you if I could help it. Was hoping you'd still be asleep when I headed out. My bullshit ain't your responsibility."

featuring: modern AU emotional hurt/comfort, centered around Wolfwood coping with anxiety and Vash asking to stay by his side through it all. Good communication! And the mortifying ordeal of being loved, truly. This can also be read as ace for ace and is a sort of precursor to some other modern AU stuff I've got in the works.

That's all for now, folks! I'll be back tomorrow with a few more recs. This week has been so fun!

[pancake-breakfast]

Finishing this volume up earlier than usual isn't going to lessen the pain, but it might free me up to do a few more write-ups I need to do.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 10, Chapters 6-8 below.

Chapter 6: The Return

The return of what?? What is there to return??? Are they just gonna go back to the orphanage? The return of Livio?? I ask all these things like Nightow's not gonna answer that in the next however many pages.

Yeah, I imagine punches hurt a lot more when YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SKIN.

Ugh, Vash just... standing there, listening to Wolfwood beat the shit out of Razlo. I'm not sure what he's thinking or feeling, but I'm not sure I want to know.

I like Livio... but I think I'd be ok with Razlo never being whole again.

Vash.... Wolfwood, stop punching and go hug your mans or something. He's not doing so well.

Oh, Raz. Chapel wouldn't help you if he could. He never cared enough about you for that.

Dear lord, that's not a healthy thing to do, Wolfwood. I realize you don't have any control over it, but maybe it's time to just stop for a bit. (Side note: props to Nightow for not having his characters just arbitrarily coughing up blood all the time. Really increases the impact when they finally do.)

THE FUCK. DON'T DOWN THE LAST VIAL. YOU'RE JUST SPEEDING UP THE INEVITABLE.

Gods, Raz regenerates quickly.

Huh, his living minions have names, and he knows them. I wonder if the one he turned into chaff had a name.

I dunno if Vash is gonna tolerate this.

Yeah, Vash says no. Kicks for you. He'll allow Wolfwood to finish his business with Raz because he knows this is important to Wolfwood, but if he doesn't get to interfere, then neither does anyone else.

In this moment, I fully believe Vash will kill them if they don't lay off. That said, I'm not sure they're fully human and not some sort of construct.

Raz is doing a great job talking despite not having lips. *mumbles something indistinct about episode 12 of Stampede*

Huh???

LIVIO!!! My boi is here to save his big bro!

Gods, I love these panels. I love how they're set up like two different characters.

Wolfwood knows something's up.

Where the hell did the other Punisher come from? That's Chapel's Punisher. Isn't he dead??

DAMMIT, FUCK THIS GUY SO HARD WITH A *redacted* RIGHT IN THE *redacted* UNTIL HE *redacted* AND *redacted, AND THEN *redacted* HIS *redacted* WITH A *redacted* UNTIL IT LOOKS LIKE SWISS CHEESE!!! FUUUUUUUCCCCKKK!!!!

Ugh, I told you, Raz. I'm sorry, my guy. I know how much it sucks to find out someone you thought was there to take care of you and who you thought valued your life only ever saw you as a pawn toward a different end.

What's more, Raz, is I just skimmed back and what you probably thought was a half-hearted attempt by Wolfwood to smack you away from himself in fear probably just saved your life.

Finish that bastard off. Please. Make sure he doesn't get up again. Make sure he never hurts anyone else again. Finish what your brother started.

Honestly, Nightow could have put absolutely no dialogue on these panels and I'd still be able to hear Raz scream.

Nah, scale it back, Razlo. I know you don't know the meaning of the words, but to quote Stampede Wolfwood, he's not the one who hurt you.

Freaking Livio, man. (affectionate, full of admiration)

Listen to him, Raz. You exist to protect him. If he says you're done, you're done.

Yes. If it weren't for you, Livio would be dead. But the fight is over. It's time to end this, Razlo.

There's something very important about apologizing to yourself for the unhealthy and/or dangerous coping mechanisms you forced yourself to build up... and in forgiving yourself for for them, too.

Ah, the little peons have gone passive now that their master has receded.

Freaking Wolfwood took this time to find and light another of his terribly crushed cigarettes. Freaking addict.

Chapter 7: Wolfwood

No no no no. I know where this chapter goes. I'm not ready.

For the record, I'm just gonna play take a little hand by yoko kanno on repeat the whole time I read this chapter. It's literally been stuck in my head since I got hit with the volume's feels last night, so I'm gonna just ride it out.

"Sleep on a proper bed as much as you can." This is such a good wish. If one has ever been poor enough not to have a proper bed for any length of time, they get it. It's a wish for the luxury of simple comforts, like wishing for someone to have a full stomach or clean clothes.

He thought he was joining a good organization, a group that would help others. He was just a child.

TBH, he looks younger here than he looks in some of the other flashbacks. Here, he looks like he's eight, but in some of the others, he looks like he's 12-14.

We don't have time for the ark now, Brad! And by "time," I mean "emotional energy for whatever those crazies intend to do next." Make 'em go away!

Vash opens the door for the people from the orphanage to come out... but we don't see his face. That feels ominous. I wonder if he's managing one of his fake smiles at this point, or if he's not even bothering for once. (I say "for once," but it feels like his mask falls a lot more these days than it used to.)

Yyyyeah, it might have been a good idea to clean up some of the bodies first. Or let the kids out through the back or something.

*sigh* Vash just wanted to give them some time together.

Man, Livio looks wrecked. Not physically. Emotionally.

Ah, Brad dropped Vash off. That explains that. I remember the ship and I remember thinking it looked like one of Home's vessels, but I wasn't sure if Vash had driven it or what. I like to imagine Vash just jumped out of it from way too high up.

Heh. Wolfwood knows he can't fool Miss Melanie, but he's still trying to protect the kids. Or... maybe he's trying to protect himself. He doesn't want them to see him like this, to think of him like this.

Honestly, given how young some of these kids were, it's a wonder so many of them remember him.

Vash, still holding out hope that maybe, just maybe, they can save him.

Nicholas Dickolas Wolfwood! You're only giving Vash that coin and saying, "This is who I really am," and all that bullshit because you're trying to make your passing easier on Vash, to drive him away so it maybe hurts him less. But you are too late for that. Idiot. He LOVES YOU. Deeply. It doesn't matter if or even need to be romantic. HE LOVES YOU.

LOL, Livio. Bless this man. Also maybe get him a shirt.

*sigh* Klutz.

Damn Nightow for adding this comic relief here. I know it's a lie.

*more sighing* Aaaaand there's the bottle.

Freaking couch....

Gods. Remember... remember waaaaay back when they first met, and Wolfwood went out of his way to make Vash smile? He truly loves Vash's smile. But there's no way in hell Vash could give him a genuine one right now, and that's the smile Wolfwood truly loves.

Well... dammit, Wolfwood would of course be thinking of that, too. Here I thought I was being all smart about the callback, but Nightow just spelled it out for us.

Vash is about to have a full breakdown here. Usually, it's Wolfwood praying, but this time, it's Vash. He doesn't want apologies. He just... he just wants this person who means so much to him to be here. To keep being here. For as long as possible.

Them throwing ticker tape, just like when he left before. Just like you would for a celebration, like a wedding. You... you know Stampede's opening Tombi references this, too??

Heh. Six years, and they saved all this for when he came back. He was well-loved.

Brad's incensed face in the background.

Miss Melanie went against Wolfwood's request... but she's worked with kids a lot. Desperate, hurt kids. Kids who've had to grow up before their time even if they don't show it on the outside the way Wolfwood does. She knows they're smarter than most give them credit for. And she knows some part of Wolfwood's heart needs this. He needs to know that in spite of everything, he's still loved, even by them.

Wolfwood doesn't strike me as much of a crier, unlike Vash. But... hey, now's as good a time as any, huh?

The iron bell in the tower is ringing.

Yeah. Yeah, I knew this would be the next page.

Livio knows. Vash knows. Vash can't hold it in anymore.

Aaaand the ark is here. This is going to go very, very poorly for someone.

Chapter 8: Final Parting

I'd guess Livio's about to have a very different relationship with the ark than he had before.

Ah, the ark is either not as close as the final page of the last chapter made it seem, or it passed them by for now.

Vash is stress cooking.

Livio, you moron. What did you think was happening??

Side note: I like how Livio's hair has gone from, "I am dead inside and don't care about anything," to something that's almost quirky and childlike.

This is the face of someone who's checked the hell out for the foreseeable future.

TBH, it's probably a good thing Livio clarified his "why." If he hadn't, I dunno if Vash would have been able to stay calm. He's doing his best right now, even if he's checked out.

Yeah, they better animate this in Stampede. They've already set it up to hit like a runaway train.

Gods, I wish it wasn't a billion degrees. I could really go for some tea right now. Hot tea. Coping tea.

Uhh, what happened to Vash's hair?? "But when" is right!

Ah, he took out his grief on the ark. Well, that explains why that big-ass ship is somehow missing.

WTH is so fucking funny, Knives?? Your brother is dying.

Ah, brief return of I-Hate-My-Life Livio hair. Man, this guy talks with his hair. I love it. He really does feel bad about all this now. This isn't what he wanted. Like Wolfwood at the beginning of the story, he just didn't know he could have it any other way.

Vash is right. Eat.

Heh. Vash's little smile as Livio starts eating. Livio's not Wolfwood, but he's someone Wolfwood cared deeply about, and it seems like some part of Vash is willing to accept that, despite everything, a friend of Wolfwood's is a friend of his, especially when said friend is so eager to take up Wolfwood's mantle.

Side note: it amuses me that Livio's left his shredded sleeves on. Like, my boi, your whole shirt is missing. You can probably take those off, too.

This panel. It feels like it snuck in from a completely different manga.

Heh. Vash remembering eating with Wolfwood like this.

Oh, my boi Livio. Sobbing through his food. I imagine Vash is already all cried out for now.

They're just gonna eat their sorrows away. Silverware optional. This is a hand salad now.

LOL, yeah... I had a feeling they were gonna overeat.

Hells, I don't think Livio could forget Wolfwood if he wanted to. But I get the gesture. Vash is reminding Livio that Wolfwood died to save him. And Livio's picking up what he's putting down.

Mm, Razlo is the one used to carrying Punishers, and even he didn't cart around his own. BTW, what happened to those guys?

It's definitely a fitting tombstone.

Props to all y'all who read this the first time in book form and had to turn that last page to see a full frontal of Wolfwood's blow-up doll on the couch at the end. I'm sure that's what y'all wanted to see when you were still up to your eyes in The Feels.

Archive

Trigun Vol. 1: Covers + 1-3, 4, 5-6, 7-8, 9-10 || Vol. 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Vol. 1: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Vol. 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7 || Vol. 4: Covers + 1-2, 3-5, 6-7 || Vol. 5: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 6: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 7: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 8: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5 + Bonus || Vol. 9: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 10: Covers + 1-3, 4-5

Extra Credit: Trigun Vol. 1: Nebraska vs. Vash's Motivations, Vash's Loneliness, Vash's Depression (pt 2 of post), Soupy Brains || Vol. 2: Coin Factoids || TriMax Vol. 1: Lina, Vash, and a Haircut || Meryl, Vash, and the Pursuit of Happiness || Vol. 5: Knives, Vash, and Hatred for Humanity || Vol. 6: Coping Series: Wolfwood, Meryl, Vash || Vol. 8: The Uncoordinated Counterattack || Vol. 9: Justice, Punishment, and Mercy, The Tolling of an Iron Bell

[kindaoptimisticsquirrel]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol10 Part 1

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1Vol02 Part 2 | Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 | Vol06 | Vol07 | Vol08 Part1 | Vol08 Part2 | Vol09 Part1 | Vol09 Part2 | Vol10 Part1

I'm early for this one cause I won't have time the rest of the week. And as a bonus it's like doing the presentation first: after that I can lay back, watching all the others knowing that I've put it already behind me. This is only part1 but I trust you've read the whole volume when you read this commentary! I might make 3 parts with all the images I'm putting in this now, haha....

Chapter 1:

Sad music playing in the bg, all other noises canceled out, room relatively cool: let's go.

I can't get over the fact how Wolfwood's playing scnes with Vash out in his head. And this moment here! It was such an important discussion, their first clash of ideals....And now Wolfwood wants to prove him wrong. That he is NOT giving up hope so easily.

"Do not tell me you are betting on hopes" I thought you were some kind of religious cult?? Believing in the holy creatures? Well there really isn't much believe left in this dying old man. Such a poor soul. He doesn't believe in his own religion. He might once have believed in his god (aka Knives) but would want him dead now- only that he doesn't believe he can kill him so he doesn't believe in a future for anyone. He doesn't believe in his pupils and doesn't believe them when they say they might know a way of salvation. And now he's just trying to drag everybody down with him.

And Wolfwood IS believing....with his whole heart and without a doubt. Oh my god. (And he hasn't forsaken you either!!!)

Disapproving of this weapon head tilt which is reserved for gay battle couples only!

Can you stop shooting this man for one fucking second

FOR ONE SECOND

FOR FUCK'S SAKE

I wonder if we can read this hesitation by Razlo as a sentiment of Livio deep deep within who might NOT want to kill Wolfwood? It could also just be Razlo's shock at seeing how he misinterpreted his opponent though.

Go to hell old man.

Chapter 2:

I need to remind myself that Razlo is not just "kill kill kill!" or blindly following Chapel. He's also nuanced and got lots of respect for this worthy opponent (and ex colleague of his, ex friend/brother of Livio).

This title here is giving me emotions and I want that image as a patch to sew on my backpack please

I can't really distinguish...is he talking about a bad chill? As in making him uneasy? He looks like it, but I'm not sure..

I gotta say shooting yourself is a hardcore statement. Great, now he's a MAD angry old ass of a man. But to Razlo I say: Have your forgotten the girl Livio saved??? And you, yous saved Razlo countless times!! Did they not need you both? D:

Miss Melanie is such a lovable character!! Go and protect your kids...even if you know the enemy is far too powerful! I love this little comedic moment in between this whole mess (And sh reminds me a bit of my mother, too)

Why else? Because you're an arsehole maybe, or because he has learned that he can chose not to be a killer and be a decent person?

This is such such such an evil move of Chapel. "Here, look at this boy, once innocent and a part of your family...now he's changed into a disgusting creature! Look at him and judge him and laugh at him and his poor life."

And the worst part, exactly this has been one of Wolfwood's biggest fears. Because next to not being able to save his family at the orphanage...if one of them would see Wolfwood as he is now and decide that he is a despicable person, someone who doesn't deserve redemption, it would mean he is truly lost. Then he would be only a killer and nothing more.

Thank god Melanie is having none of it. And look how Wolfwood's eye that was just a moment ago wide with shock is closing, his whole feature relaxing. This is what he needed...her telling him that he could have come home anytime. That he is still and will always be! A part of their family.

Of course you moron you could have done this together!! If you didn't run off alone...trying to do things on your own. Somehow, now that I think about this...this really feels like act of a boy that didn't have time to grow up. Running off to the orphanage was not Wolfwood- it was Nicholas doing it. Not Wolfwood the Punisher but Nicholas the Boy. Why is this thought making me emotional?

Fuck we see him thinking, thinking fast of a way to still save the situation, seeing the vials, maybe wondering if he will be able to do it with them can he do it can he do it

You godforsaken idiot why did you have to bite them down and seal your fate

And in the moment when Nicholas needed him most, Vash came. But he came a second too late.

Look, there's just something about Vash coming to his rescue in this moment where Wolfwood is at his lowest. Completely ripped apart, laid bare before his loved ones...These two pages, and the sole sentence "I've made a friend" is something so poetic...they make me internally scream because YES you've made a friend, you both love and trust each other deeply...you really have made such a good friend. SOBBING

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 4 (part1)

I am not late! You are just early!

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

01: Count down

Ugh, Jessica and her weird puppy crush. I… just do not get it. It is creepy. Good on Vash having reinforcement.

This is a cute scene. Beyond being a used car salesman in the open, he is an awkward, but incredibly direct and honest person with people that are “close”. His curious question is kinda endearing. Good on tackling his assumptions about others in such a direct manner. And Brad accidentally digging his own grave by insulting Jessica by putting words into Wolfwood’s mouth is hilarious. I love how Wolfwood’s hair bristles visibly as the confrontation goes down. The ghibli-cat-shiver that Stampede WooWoo does seems to be Trimax canon, too! Let him bristle! It is cute!

Brad, Wolfwood is an orphan who lived with mere necessities and even less. He won’t criticise any grub he gets to eat. Free food is free food. 

Adding to that, this scene. Did I say that I love this homely feeling those scenes have? Just characters working off each other by their personality without stakes, but we get hella lot of character- and worldbuilding. 

Wolfwood is not a dumb person. Well, he is an idiot, but that is his behaviour, behind that is a very attentive, intelligent man. What he does not have is an education due to his upbringing. I think radio transmission is also done by satellite on No-Man’s-Land. (But I have to say that this may have been a line from a fanfic *coughs*) Anyway, the Great Fall led to a massive loss of technology and knowledge. The people of Home have the privilege of not trying to survive daily, of having resources to save the technology and use it. Outsiders haven’t. And I like the discrepancy between those two groups that is shown here.

I also love that Vash understands Wolfwood and that he kinda bullies the defensive baby into looking at the machinery. He meets Wolfwood at Wolfwood’s level. And that is just really a nice move.

Because it gets us there. The cynic has to deal with a new emotion growing. Hope. It really makes my heart ache. Wolfwood believes so thoroughly that he cannot be saved, but hopes so desperatedly that he can at least lessen the burden on the kiddos. Here he receives hope for ALL.

Wolfwood is bitter, but being a realist. He knows about the state of the world, it makes his whole being. And here he is with a bit of hope blooming in his chest begging God that he may keep it. That they may keep it. It shows Wolfwood being incredibly humble.

We next to never get to see Wolfwood really speak to God. His moral dilemma is exactly that, moral and ethical. There is no church in it. It is not about religion or belief. It is his own morals not something that was instilled into him from the outside. In ‘98 Wolfwood being a man of God is a running joke ‘til episode 23 in the church. Even in Trimax it kinda is. But here, in this quiet moment where Wolfwood watches his friends and with new hope blossoming, he has no other choice but to beg a higher power to grant them some grace. Because Wolfwood knows that his hope, the message reaching Earth and them getting an answer is completely out of his control. 

And it looks like his prayer gets answered.

The handshake is incredibly cute. Did they just invent it in the spur of the moment?

And damn, Luida reminiscending Doc. How she allows herself a moment of respite, but still is the responsible leader even in this.

I snorted at the Knives’ pic. Dude being grumpy. Someone needs to make Knives' "Did you just shoot me?!" face over this. Please. Vash feels Knives' power surging and a glass breaks. Why only that glass? O.O I know it is for the atmosphere of the scene, but lemme be nitpicky.

Knives that looks like really bad constipation and his fart cuts the planet in half. *inserts one punch man ok face*

Uh, biblical. Knives as archangel Michael with his sword, ready to cut Satan from the sky and weighing the souls on judgement day. GOD! I SLEPT BETWEEN CHAPTERS AND JUST REALISED! EYE OF MICHAEL! They are judges of humanity, so to speak, and the sword of the Lord. I think that is especially meaningful about their workings in Stampede, really.

It is interesting that Wolfwood’s prayer was answered with an affirmative sign, with real reasons for hope, but it is Knives who intervenes and destroys the hope again. It could be read as Knives interfering with God/Vash destroying the hope that Vash gifts to the sinner Wolfwood.

:/ Vash… Let Brad tell the others. You’re patronising again! I know people need hope and all, but you let them hope a lie just now. Let people decide for themselves, let them have the agency to do so!

I know he knows that I know that he knows that I know that he knows-Situation. Wolfwood inserting himself as Vash' companion. If Vash wants to or not. Buddy is along the way. He needs to.

But I like that Wolfwood already knew that Vash would run away again and awaited him. Considering that we know that Vash won’t zoom in on Knives and will get distracted again, this here reads less than “I need to deal with Knives!” but more like “Vash runs from connection again”. Does Wolfwood know about the satellites, too? Or does he still have his hope unaffected by Knives?

02: Killer Horn Blues

Hi, Hornfreak! You evil Wolfwood!

Hornfreak is interesting. In the chapter before Knives was shown like archangel michael, but now Hornfreak flips the image and makes Knives the devil. 

Also, the perfect pitch is a superpower!

Hoppered is so cute y-y. I love their banter.

Not gonna lie, Knives is extremely cute in this pic. I wanna squish his cheeks and tell him he's baby. Too bad he does evil supervillain poses on the next pages.

Hornfreak is much like Wolfwood. Their clothing style is similar but colours inverted, both are bitter, cynic realists, but while Hornfreak is mostly about his own gain and benefit, Wolfwood is selfless. We haven’t seen Wolfwood on the job, but considering his reaction to Keele, we can at least assume that Wolfwood does not go on killing sprees like this. I like how this little flashback stresses the differences between them, too. We don't see Wolfwood on killing missions, but Wolfwood killing innocents is just too out there. Midvalley is cruel and coldblooded. He doesn't care about human life at all.

… He looked into a mirror and practiced that. I JUST KNOW IT! This line makes me cringe so hard. Lol, I am Millions Knives, herpaderp, I collect knives. Hehehehehe. Not gonna lie, I would not survive a meeting with Knives. I would laugh at him. I'd die. Even if I was a useful knife for him.

The gun ho guns are Knives’ knives. I like the reminder that “Chapel” is part of them. It could be Wolfwood’s arm, too. But he is missing the cross cufflinks in Trimax. So it could be OG-Chapel. It would make sense, since Knives “collected” his knives personally and no one knew that Wolfie came instead since Knives was… uh… occupied with being… uh… in the womb at the fifth moon incident.

Hornfreak does not seem to suffer under being an assassin, he does not really care that he kills or who is killed by him, he cares for his own life. Hornfreaks focus is completely on the being that has him under “its” thumb, Knives. Like Wolfwood, Hornfreak is a guy between a rock and a hard place and both don’t kid themselves about what will happen to them as soon as Knives wins. But Midvalley is all about himself, while Wolfwood is about the orphanage and its future.

I pity Legato. Especially in this exchange. Here is this being that he devoted his whole existence to and it brushes his service and really his whole loyalty off like it means nothing at all. Legato is his main informant about how Knives’ machinations are working, he helps Knives as much as he can, hell, he even made sure that Knives has a body at all. And he is taken for granted! He is not even privy to such information like: “Yeah, well, change of plans. Chapel is now a babysitter for my little bro. Just letting you know! For reasons, too!” Knives cannot be bothered to spare Legato a crumb of attention or respect. Someone else said that Knives and Legato are Vash and Wolfwood just completely unhinged. I agree. I need to say something, but that goes into spoiler territory. Someone remind me in a few volumes to go into the similarities and the main difference.

I like how Knives does not even tell Legato Wolfwood’s real name or anything or that Wolfwood has tried to kill him. Nah, not important to him at all. All according to keikaku. (Newsflash, it is not going to keikaku at all, friend!)

Interesting, too, that Midvalley had the same reaction like Wolfwood had to Vash' "aura" at his first meeting with Knives. Fear. He knows that Knives is a monster, immediately and without a doubt. His friends on the other hand were unable to feel it and thus Knives cut them up when they showed aggression to Knives. 

Midvalley muses how easy it would be to kill Knives with a well timed toot. But instead he breaks down at the memory of Knives' killing his friends! He cannot do it. There is no option to fight even in theory. And the focus at the end of the scene onto Knives tells me at least that he is very aware that Midvalley listened in and thought about killing him. I am not sure, but it seems like he feels sad? Apathetic? Not completely sure. Like he reserved himself to believe that this is all that humans feel towards him. Selffulfilling prophecy, though… If Knives only shows himself as a monster, people treat him like one.

Counter this with these idiots and the humans treating Vash as an equal, an equal idiot. While Vash being not human is still unspoken, Wolfwood hints more and more at it that he knows and Vash shows a bit more of his inhuman senses to him. 

But then Milly and Meryl kick in the door and, damn, Meryl is fucking spiteful!

03: Bottom of the dark

And the spite continues! Meryl is livid that the guys just left them. But letting them nearly die is harsh.

You nearly killed your idiot friends out of revenge for them leaving, gurl! While I don’t like the extreme it went to for jokes, I like that it happened. I like that we get to see the insurance women being angry for being left behind. I would be, too. (Too many manga women get just sidelined by the dudes deciding: Things are too dangerous for our fragile, female friend. We go without them for their safety!) It is a constant rejection, really.  

Uh, 13th bride? Not the 13th wife? Oh… No… It got worse. And it started out bad with just the assault.

Thank you for showing us that the insurance women are fucking capable on their own! More of this, please!

I understand that Meryl may hate having to rely on a gun. But that is really the state of the world they live in. Even Vash as the glaring break of tradition has to carry one. I’d like to know more about Meryl’s relationship to that man. Is it her mentor? Her dad? When did she get the weapon from him?

“It may be small, but its power is sufficient” could be about the weapon, but it could also be read about Meryl as a whole.

EWEWEWEWEWEWEEWWWWWW! Zazie, body horror supreme!

How can it be that those two dumbos nearly died by drying up and are just up and on the go again?! As much as the vials were a last second addition, Wolfwood surely is not human if he is on his two feet again. I get Vash! We were shown that he has a supreme healing factor by his body pushing out a bullet as Eriks. But Wolfwood...

Who is saying the pain in the ass-part? I think it is Vash? 

I’d also be a bit stinky if I just nearly died because my companions were petty.

And Wolfwood is doing what I just criticised Vash often does… Deciding for others for their safety without informing them. Both boys are so good at this >:3 *cocks gun* Sure, I would not want to have my companions die, either, especially when they are not a fighting monster like I am… But fucking talk to them about it! Don't just do the ditcheridoo! Wolfwood being pissy about their “stunt” does read more like him putting on a front, to give a reason more to ditch them and keep their relationship at arm's length. He cares. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t care about them tagging along.

I’d say Wolfwood is more of a realist, considering what happened in Home. The guys are in danger and there are more crazy mofos coming after them. Meryl and Milly can take care of themselves with normal humans. Though, I don’t think Wolfwood is asking/reflecting himself. I take Wolfwood’s comment more about relieving his conscience if Vash agrees to the decision of ditching them. So he does not carry the burden of hurting them by leaving on his own.

It gives way for another thought for me. If they ditch the insurance women for their safety, why wouldn't Vash do the same for Wolfwood?

I… I don’t believe that. They get that people are trying to kill Vash. Milly gets much more, maybe. But I do not think Meryl does. It is not like Vash told her what and who he is in the cold chamber. Or why he is hunted down. Or by whom. This will bite him in the arse. So badly. And fuck Vash, he deserves the bite. But Meryl does not.

The gun ho guns have their own sandstreamer with a skull at the front. How loaded is Knives? I made a joke a bit ago that Vash would not be the wealthy twin even with his lifespan, because he lives hand to mouth, but Knives would go into stocks and become rich.

I love Hoppered’s and Midvalley’s talks. Hoppered gets him. He looks stupid, but he has Milly-attention. And damn, if Revenge does not forebond a tragic ending for Hoppered. But can they really say that they chose this path? Midvalley had to decide between dying then and dying on a mission, but he may get an opening out if he choses the latter. Hoppered, we will see. Revenge says that he has a personal vendetta against Vash and that makes his decision an active one and not one between pest and cholera.

But… how does Midvalley hop from: “I want out and survive!” To “Imma gonna kill Vash even though then Knives will hunt me down personally!” That… is counterproductive to Midvalley wanting to survive, really… I get Hoppered with his revenge, but I don’t get Midvalley. Why doesn’t he just up and leave now? I don’t think Hoppered would make him stay. The fight is senseless. And as soon as it commences, Midvalley’s options go from: Die or run to die and die.

And… why would Hoppered ask for Midvalley hiding his remains? Is it a request for a burial?

I don’t understand, either, Zazie. Oh, they meant that our protagonists have split, not whyever Midvalley agrees to kill Vash.

Milly hears something to distract her and Meryl gets yeeted by a fucking swarm of insects. I… I think I’d black out if a swarm of mosquitos snapped me away.

[comfy-sofa]

IM LOSING MY FUCKING M I N D

IM NOT OK AND NEITHER ARE YOU AFTER THIS EPISODE

Vashmeryl fans, y'all are getting FED TODAY GOOD FOR YALL

HIS FUCKING HAIR OUR BOY IS BACK AND SPIKIER THAN EVER

The whole fucking fight sequence mmhhhh DELICIOUS the whole entire time I was screaming BEAT HIS ASS BEAT HIS ASSSS DO IT FOT ROBERTO

Ok, the fact that Vash kinda knows how to use his abilities and condense into the fucking rubic cube is kinda dope

Also during the fight, DID VASH FUCKING BITE KNIVES???? IM FUCKING LOSING IT (peak sibling behavior)(edit: yes he fucking did dhvswrrvbn)

First off, the outfit change??? Like all his shit is black and the fucking BLACK WINGS YESS PLANT BOY SLAY

Also THE SPEED RELOADER???? DID HE HAVE THAT SHIT ENTIRE TIME???? At least he has it lmao

Fucking about time Wolfwood you fucking helped COTDAMN (also the run sequence with him stepping on the police officer mhmm good shit)

THE ANGEL ARM IM FUCKING CUMMING I LOVE ITS DESIGN

Knives KNIVES GET OUT THE FUCKING BEAM YOUR GETTING ROASTED LIKE A MARSHMALLOW (really out here giving me 'get out the fucking tank' vibes like)

Speaking of this scene, we finally get to see Vash fucking cry....I'm not ok

Oh my God, Vash just turned himself into a goddamm METEOR SIR ARE YOU OK???

Well RIP July and Mr. Police dude

Oooh two year time skip and my boy got his bouty back!

MILLY MILLY MILLY MILLY MILLY (also refreshing to the insurance company👍)

ERIKS AND LINA I CANT WAIT TO GET MY HEART RIPPED OUT

EARTH EARTH FUCKING WERE GETTING THE EARTH STORY FROM TRIMAX THANK FUCK (Also heyyy chronica)

Looks like season 2 is also confirmed! Dude, this was a journey and a half. I'm really glad that orange went the prequel route, and we got to see what led up to July's destruction. We actually get to see a glimpse of what the cast could've been like prior to the events of Trigun/TriMax.

Fuck I'm glad stampede was a thing in the first place, or I wouldn't have watched the anime or read the manga. Like fuck this is really a piece of media that sticks with you y'know? Like how the fuck am I gonna move on now? Like it's been a while since I thought of creating fanart or just rant on it because it's so fucking good. Like if I could ever create something like Trigun, something that sticks with people, like that would be a great accomplishment. Sure, there were some ups and downs (maybe I'll do like a legit review post, idk) but fuck I had a good time!

Now this post is getting long so I'm just gonna end it with that I'm glad I let orange cook and I can't wait for season 2

Peace and Love y'all ✌️

[venjamyra]

Trigun spoilers!! (Maximum and Stampede)

Ok, I'm gonna talk about the whole *trying to get someone to shoot you to prove that they actually believe what they're saying* thing as its been presented so far in tristamp and compare it to trimax. It's not super comprehensive, mostly based on the scene with Vash and Wolfwood in vol 2 of maximum and episode 10 in stampede with Meryl, Roberto, and Conrad.

Ok, so I'm re-reading trimax while re-watching tristamp as my roomate watches it, and I noticed this. Here, Wolfwood says "If you really believe I'm wrong, pull the trigger." He wants Vash to shoot/kill him to prove his resolve.

Here, Conrad seems to ask Meryl and Roberto the same. If Meryl really thinks he's a monster who is killing and torturing, she should kill him in order to stop him. If she really believes that, she should kill him.

These are two instances of a character asking to be killed by a person who criticized them (in trimax for killing Rai-Dei, and in tristamp for torturing/experimenting on children), so that they can prove their resolve.

Of course these are different situations. Even in that panel, Wolfwood wants Vash to kill him so that Vash can do it again, to save himself in the future. Wolfwood wants Vash to be able to protect himself. He thinks that it would be just to die to teach Vash how to live. Whereas Conrad really doesn't want Meryl to shoot him. He even justifies himself, "But before you strike me down, know that you're eliminating a world of possibilities."

I think these similarities say more about Vash and Meryl's characterization in relation to each other than Wolfwood and Conrad. Vash responds like this:

He is actively refuting Wolfwood. No, he's obviously not going to shoot him, but he has an answer. On the next page he says "You... told me back then... that my face looked better with a real smile. If you could see yourself through my eyes now... you'd see a man forcing himself to play the devil while his own heart cries out." Vash sees through Wolfwood. He sees Wolfwood's concern and kind personality and how he tries to justify his actions and life experiences.

In comparison, Meryl in tristamp, also is obviously not going to shoot Conrad, but she doesn't seem to have an answer to that. She says "poor baby" about Elendira, but doesn't really respond to Conrad. (Granted, she might've had time to come up with one if Elendira didn't start attacking them. Or she might not have considered Conrad worth a response.) Interestingly, Roberto does have an answer.

I admit I am biased toward trimax over tristamp, but I do love how they work with Meryl's character in tristamp. In this way, we can see her contrasted with Vash's personality. She holds similar ideals to him, but Vash (as a 150-something year old) knows his ideals, and he knows what he believes, why he believes it, etc. Meryl, however is still learning. Roberto is teaching her.

This is a different perspective than Vash (again, they are talking to different people about different beliefs, but still). Vash responds by pulling at the fact that Wolfwood shouldn't want to die to better other people, but the fact that he does shows some good in him. He wants to be good (kind, helpful), but he expresses it in a way that makes it seem like he's being cruel. Vash points that out, that Wolfwood doesn't have to resort to this. However, Roberto doesn't point out the specific action of asking to be shot to prove a point but Conrad's hypocrisy. While Vash points out the action, Roberto points out the reasoning behind it.

Vash gets Wolfwood wanting to protect and help him, just not the action of getting him to shoot him. Roberto doesn't really acknowledge the asking to get shot part, but the fact that Conrad isn't and won't help anyone.

So yeah, I don't have a complete conclusion to what I think about this, but I thought it was interesting. I think it could be a cool insight into how Roberto influence's Meryl's worldview in tristamp and how it is both similar and differs from Vash.

Like, if tristamp Meryl was placed in Vash's shoes in this scene in the manga, Wolfwood asking her to shoot him to prove that killing is bad, how would she respond? Would she take a page out of Roberto's book and instead of pointing out what Vash does (You don't have to act cruel to get your kindness across), she might point out that killing him wouldn't make killing anyone else easier or some inconsistency with his logic.

Whereas Vash is more emotionally-focused (what feelings are here and where do they come from), Meryl is more logically-focused (the world doesn't work like that), which originates from Roberto? (And the purpose of it coming from Roberto is just to make it more obvious, there's a story to this part of her personality that we can see, so we are more aware?)

Let me know your thoughts, I could be totally wrong, I just got excited when I noticed the similarities in these scenes.

[deludedfantasy]

Trimax Vol 5 Ch 1-3

These first few chapters have emotionally devastated me in new and unfathomable ways and I am not calm about it.

Ch1

Flashback time! Vash is just having a good time, playing with some kids and being a general goofball. I love seeing Vash like this, it’s a side of him we haven’t gotten the chance to see often…but it’s sobering to realize that this is all happening in July. And that the reason we haven’t seen him like this is because after July, he was never quite so carefree again, both because he was on the run and because of the guilt of what he’d done, even if he couldn’t remember all of it.

Side note: he actually has a job! In a kitchen! I don’t know why, but there’s something really heart-warming to me about the idea of Vash being a good cook. He just wants to take care of people!

These people love him and care about him! But it’s so painful because they’re all dead, and to Vash, it’s always going to be his fault. Their blood will always be on his hands. 

I think this might be the first time that we’ve seen pain actually bring Vash to his knees. It says a lot about him that he can push through any kind of physical pain, but it’s the emotions kind—the guilt, the grief—that overtakes him. But it’s Meryl, the fact that she’s in danger and he needs to save her, that brings him back to his feet and keeps him going.

Are Midvalley and Hoppred collaborating against Zazie to further their own plans? Dundundun, betrayal within the Gung Ho Guns! 

I barely understood this bit the first time I read it, but the second time through (and I assume with the Overhaul translation), it’s insane to realize that Midvalley basically sucked the noise out of a space to allow Hoppred to attack Zazie unseen and unheard. Like…that’s insane! I’m with Hoppred on this one, it’s basically magic.

Ahhh, Meryl is not doing very well :(

Ch2

I have so, so many questions that I know I’ll never get answers to. What happened to Hoppred that he’s like that? Who is this woman? Why does he care so much about her? Is she his wife, his daughter, his sister, something else? What happened to her? It torments me. 

Also, it’s nuts that Wolfwood is completely blind from Midvalley’s attack and he’s still on his feet and actually fighting with a pretty good level of accuracy. 

Midvalley straight up calling Wolfwood a demon, as if the two of them aren’t similar at all. Actually, it’s interesting to see how other people talk about Wolfwood, calling him a demon and inhuman vs how Vash talks about him, who always emphasizes his humanity. 

I love this panel of Wolfwood, with the white eyes and the looming black shape of him. It’s the perfect reflection of Midvalley’s dialogue and his view of Wolfwood. A demon, indeed.

Argh, the tension in these pages! Vash not hearing Meryl’s warning! Midvalley concentrating so hard he doesn’t see Wolfwood advancing on him! 

YES GO MILLY! MILLY TO THE RESCUE!!!

All I can say about Vash’s situation is ouch. 

Oh my God, it’s a saxophone gun.

Ch3

Midvalley calls Wolfwood a traitor and he doesn’t know just how right he is…or will be. It’s interesting that Knives didn’t let anyone else in on his orders to Wolfwood, except Legato and that was only recently. So he’s literally having one of his Gung Ho Guns kill the other ones to torture Vash. That’s some truly diabolical shit right there.

Wolfwood fighting completely blind, only using what I have to assume is his superhuman hearing, is so badass. He shields Milly even though she’s behind him and he can’t see shit and he can’t actually see where Midvalley is either. It’s insane.

OHHHHHH. First appearance of angel Vash!!! My beloved!!! 

Interesting! Vash also sprouted/shed feathers in July. I don’t remember him doing that at Fifth Moon.

Is Vash projecting his memories at Hoppred? I didn’t catch that on my first read through! Vash’s telepathic Plant powers are so interesting. This is like a step up from projecting his emotions onto the whole room from his fight with the Puppetmaster. 

The paneling is a little unclear so I can’t tell if Knives hit Vash or if he knocked him over telepathically. Either way, he knocked him out so he could experiment on him and that is many levels of fucked up. I can’t get over how horrifying that must be for Vash. He’s had his bodily autonomy taken away from him so many times, by Knives especially, and now he remembers that he had him experimented on.

Also, so interesting to me that Vash didn’t know about the existence of his powers for such a long time. I don’t know enough to say if he was outright denying the Plant side of himself, but he certainly seemed a lot more focused on being human. Meanwhile, Knives dove deep into the study of it, spending the years Vash was wandering mastering his powers. The irony of course being that Vash seems to be much, much more powerful than him. 

The entire sequence leading up to the destruction of July is masterfully done. I don’t really know what to say. It’s heart-rending. Knives is trying to show Vash what he really is, and he succeeds, sort of. Not in proving that humanity doesn’t care about him and that loving them is pointless, but that Vash is a weapon? That he isn’t human and never will be? Definitely. No wonder Vash forgets all of this. No wonder he throws himself into danger more and more often to protect people after this. He’s trying to prove Knives (and himself, to a certain extent) wrong.

I might be interpreting this wrong too, but I think Knives lost control of Vash here. He wasn’t strong enough to hold all that power back and neither was Vash. So it exploded and destroyed a city, and supposedly Knives as well (at least temporarily). 

Not me interpreting this scene completely incorrectly because I’m in denial :). Thank you to the lovely Tumblr user who emotionally devastated me by pointing out that Vash didn’t accidentally unleash his power, he was trying to kill Knives. He was so angry and enraged by what Knives was saying to him that he unleashed the angel arm, destroying July in the process. I think the problem is that after watching Stampede and the way they framed the destruction of July as Vash doing everything he could to save the city and then failing, I had a hard time reading this scene and realizing that this is not the case at all here. In a way, it was still a mistake. Vash didn’t mean to take the whole city down with him. But he did. And there was nothing selfless about his actions. Now there’s blood on his hands because he pulled the trigger. He’s destroyed Rem’s ideals and his entire idea of who he is and what he stands for. No wonder he forgets.

[humanoidtyphoons]

trigun omnibus vol 2:

-oh no kidding, vash is much more angry in the manga. like his rage towards knives is just. jeez, you have to take a minute to let sink in how much he hates knives! (despite everything, in 98 & tristamp, i don't think vash hates knives, he's disappointed and afraid but also... doesn't know what to do with him either when they meet, so he runs, and kinda hopes the meeting never comes, imo?) 98!vash is... to me, he's primarily true self is sad, and he's a lil glass eyed and cheery; i'm not quite decided on tristamp!vash, tbh. but vash -- no, i think monev is right in the manga: the real vash is angry beyond belief -- he's looking for knives to kill him bc he killed rem but simultaneously doesn't know where he is since july, those 20 years ago. but i also really like how he tries to use his image of rem as a morality point, when he despairs, when he is about to kill, he relies on her image to hold himself back.

-oh so knives does have a mole under his eye in the manga! i couldn't really see it in vol 1, but vol 2? def. visible!!!! long haired knives is a look, ngl!!

-wolfwood, wolfwood, wolfwood! my darling boy!!!! okay so one of my favourite things about characters is that -- they make a nice likeable impression, and then a lil bit later, that character turns up again and it's like oh shit, they're more integral to the plot than i thought!! they're potentially more sinister than i first assumed! i'm in trouble! an excellent example of that is meeting blackbeard for the first time in one piece, bc you don't know his name until the end of his first appearance and then he reveals it and then oh shit, yk??? and so him and vash meeting on the bus, vash spotting him in the desert, and wolfwood mentioning his motorbike, and then they just... vibe, it's... sweet, yk? that vash begins the chapter by saying 'i can see the true heart of people, what they're like', and then wolfwood says 'finally, a real smile on your face... the other one is so forced it's heartbreaking', and. just. ugh. ugh. ugh.

-anyway then, when they split ways, and wolfwood goes to the church, and meets legato, where he's called chapel... i just love it. their pathways happened to have crossed, bc they were going the same direction, not knowing (i think) that they were destined to be against each other.

-the whole knives vs vash fight. it's so different to the 98 anime, where i think legato causes it to happen, and wolfwood is outside augusta, and arrives too late, and kills raidei. but in the manga? something about all of the remaining gung ho guns watching in the shadows like observers, and wolfwood is just. freaking out. bc vash shot the moon. it's so good. it's SO good. and god!!!!! i need a third anime that's more faithful bc it's cinematic to me.

-the angelic imagery. the feathers. it's so... it's breathtaking and i'm so glad it continues in trimax bc the body horror of it all... it's gorgeous.

-something soooo interesting about pairing monev the gale fight vs vash, with flashbacks of bb vash&knives, even tho knives is unseen, he's there. i think maybe 98 did better by removing the flashback and giving its own separate episode after augusta gets destroyed tbh, but then. it's so intriguing to juxtapose them here, bc monev is the first one to go after vash, tho legato gives a 'friendly' heads' up, and it's just. mm, no wonder vash is furious.

-fuck, the two years later thing happens here in the manga. ooh tristar, i am excited!!! eriks eriks eriks!!!

-ngl i kinda dig milly/vash a smidge more in the manga? like her perception... while not always 100%, i do like that she's the one who is always a bit. aware of the changes in vash's expressions, she notices, so he has to put his glasses on so he becomes harder to read.

-it's so interesting that vash doesn't have much of a relationship/friendship with milly and meryl in the manga. like i love 98 for meryl (esp.) coming to terms with vash, and from being kinda annoyed by him, to slowly caring and worrying about him. and while you do have that in the manga, it's not... quite as gradual? meryl is shocked that vash actually calls them by their names for the first time, and it's been like 14 chapters since they met, and vash is about to fight monev. but it also feels harder to call them friends? bc the pacing is kinda choppy and frenetic, whereas 98 got to meander for a bit before things felt serious and vash wanted to cut ties with them much later.

-pilot chapter is so cute! vash you freaking weirdo dancing into a ransom situation!!! you're so cute!!! you're so cute!!! vash doing his morning routine and going by a different name is also v. cute, and i like how the anime included them.

-knives hitting legato and saying who said you could kill vash? while i don't think it's as... extreme? as the tristamp version, i do dig his possessiveness. but there's a monstrousness in tristamp knives love that i adore, his selfish fierce protection of vash, that he wants to kill humanity to that extent, to keep vash safe, to not let tesla repeat ever again, regardless if that's what vash wants. (it isn't what vash wants at all.) it's not quite that in trimax, tbh, but it's still. still compels me.

okay curious to know where the true divergence happens, bc trimax must have started already, bc the 98 anime continues to include aspects of it, and makes it its own, even tho there's a lot that changes too.

-tbh... i still think vash masks less in the manga than the anime? i think it's easier for 98 vash to mask, bc there's a lot of filler episodes so he can have that front more evident when comparing to later episodes, so he gets to be more silly thanks to the situations made up for him, but i also think the vocal performance helps immensely, bc of how his voice changes based on the situation. like he's still does mask in the manga, dgmw, bc meryl and milly see his scarred torso, and are shocked at the sight, the price he has to pay, bc of his ideals, whereas he often acts as if... he's fine, his injuries don't affect him. (but they do. they don't regenerate. i thought maybe he might heal faster, but he's never getting his arm back, he's never going to be unscarred either i don't think, but maybe he recovers fasher than a normal human being would.)

anyway, onto trimax vol 1!