#tried to make it a little brighter without messing too much with the quality but oh well

[marutchi]

[yuu-kumeii]

Dating Bokuto means appreciating the little things

He may not be there for most of the day but you'll always know he's missing you with every call and text during any free time he gets. Both of you have your own jobs so it might not be ideal for date planning, but you'll always make time for each other. Whether it's you getting off work early to see him practice with the Jackals or him bursting into your office to bring you lunch and a kiss for working so hard. You never lack any quality time together because you occupy each other's mind.

He also isn't the best at cooking, but you always appreciate it when he tries. You would often find yourself standing in the ruins of your once pristine kitchen, seasoning and stray pieces of cut vegetables laid across the floor all the way to the ceiling. The stove was off yet the smell of charcoal does not escape you and at the center of it all is your big owlish boyfriend, standing in the corner with a guilty look, fiddling with his thumbs and avoiding your gaze altogether. He knows you would be mad at the state of the kitchen, it shows in his posture. But you couldn't bring yourself to care about the mess, because sometimes after all the stress of work and the exhaustion of the mundane, it felt nice to know you're important enough to someone. So much so that they'd try something they aren't very good at if it means you feel loved and you do. You very much do. Walking up to him and softly calling his name, cooing at him to look at you. Bokuto raises his head slowly, only to find your gentle smile instead of exasperation.

"You're not mad?...." He asks carefully

"No..... Not today Bon" The tiredness of your voice gives him the impression that you're simply too tired to reprimand him. But that thought was reduced to a whisper at your next words.

"It's just.... Thanks for trying, I know you wanted to do something for me but just the thought is already enough" You continued with a smile, Bokuto could honestly cry right now. But he instead settles for one of his famous owl hugs, covering you in a blanket of warmth for your troubles.

Even if he can't cook, he will always try to make it easier for you. Going shopping for the ingredients, washing the vegetables, and even preparing the table. These are all things he does so all you have to do is make the food. Which compared to splitting cooking duty is the next best thing.

Your boyfriend is often called immature and you can't exactly refute it. He often rushes into things, at times he blurts out things without thinking, and he always had the energy most didn't. But you've been with him for long enough to know that it's not necessarily a bad thing, since after a while, you realize how happy you've been. Not just from all the moments you share together, but from simply being around him. You always regarded yourself as somewhat of a realist but also not exactly an optimist, always thinking that being optimistic is no different than being naive since you've never thought to find out for yourself if it was true.

But being with Bo has shown you that it's not about ignoring the bad, it's about seeing the good. Bad things might happen and you shouldn't ignore them, but instead look at the brighter side to find a solution. Being optimistic is more about trying to make a bad situation better, not to accept it. You see that now, all because your little big owl lover refuses to let you be put down by the hardships thrown at you. Whenever you're stressed or stuck, you notice how he tries to help. Even going as far as to ask his friends about things even he doesn't understand, Bo tries to find a solution when you just try to accept it. You may not be an optimist but you aren't going to be pessimist in this relationship anytime soon.

Bokuto isn't the type to be called 'traditionally reliable'. He's energetic and loud, often called childish and never seemed to garner the perception of reliable certain people expect. But to you, he's as reliable as he needs to be. He was always the first person to notice when you're down, always the first to do something about it. Whether it was asking what got you looking so down or inviting you to spend the day with him, he was always positive and was never afraid to share it with you. He was and still is your pillar of stability, knowing he always has your best interest in mind even if it didn't seem like it. Being childish is one thing, but it never meant he lacked the ability to be serious.

Though even if he is expected to be your unwavering pillar, his own weaknesses will always rear its head. There are times you would find him taking refuge under your kitchen table, seeming so quiet, so down, to the point where it worried you. Asking to join him under the table, seeing him scoot to the side to give you room, the silence only seems to raise your concerns. It takes a while before he extends an arm to you, beckoning you to come closer and you do. Savouring the moment of reprieve from the world outside together, you wonder what it is that's going through his head. It doesn't matter to you how long it takes for him to tell you, because for as long as you've been together, he always waited for you. So it's your turn to wait for him, to listen to his thoughts, to comfort him. He may be your pillar, but it's hard to forget that you're his too.

Dating Bokuto means appreciating the little things, but maybe it's more akin to appreciating the things he does for you.

[tarotchariotpickyourcard]

Pick a card reading: What you should like more about yourself!

This one is for the ones on that self love journey, the ones that need a pick me up or have a hard time with self confidence/esteem especially.

So I'm sure it's quite clear. The cards that you pick will reflect why you deserve to be more loving to yourself, what wonderful qualities you have, and maybe help convince you to lessen your negative inner language.

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Please pick one of the groups ( 1, 2, 3 or 4.)

You might be drawn to an item, the card itself, or a number. Please calm your mind and meditate for a minute.

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Side note: If you have a hard time choosing, or nothing seems strong to you, perhaps you could come back later on and try. Do not pressure yourself, darling.

Number one is the badge saying "yup"

Number 2 is the wing

Number 3 is the little bird

Number 4 is the chain saying "BE MINE"

GROUP 1 : (Yup badge)

Morning affirmations, Joy, Strength

6 of wands, 4 of pentacles, Mother of swords

What an interesting blend of character you are!

With the owl, this is a strong suggestion that you are able to see through deep into situations and understand "in between the lines". A great communicator, the queen of swords can be straight to the point, brilliant and not to be messed with. Your ability to say it like it is might be perceived as a little harsh to very sensitive or younger people, however it is a strong and much needed trait in the world. We need people with the organisational skills and know how of the mother of swords! The queen always reminds me of someone who is a good teacher, and a fair person.

With the 6 of wands and the 4 of pentacles, the combination hits in a way of potentially dulling that light. The traits I list may be some that you are aware of in a way, but perhaps have a lesser opinion of. The interesting mix of you is in the way of you being so strong, able to endure and be positive, yet a wonderful balance of being able to have boundaries. Again, I'm seeing the strong ability to recognise when someone is being a "rat" as the animal is right next to the owl. I can't help but get the idea that it is direct experience. I would be surprised if you haven't recently come to a revelation about a person in your social circle, or cut someone out/created more boundaries.

Strength mentions having resilience, coming through things more compassionate, stronger and brighter. Brighter being strong in focus to me, as it is next to joy. Your ability to have fun *despite* issues or obstacles is an enviable trait! I really feel that while you might have your difficulties, you never let them suck you in for too long mentally. You seem to try and stay positive through things, and not everyone can do that. You are also much more smart/knowledgeable than you give yourself credit for. Don't let anyone put you down, because you're being shown that if you go for what you've been studying/working at, with strong persistence you can succeed. I feel like the branches signify people who have acted as obstacles, or your troubles in life. This is confirmation you can rise above them, and if you're stuck right now, please accept my confirmation that things can and will change. Life can't help but flow, no matter how people may try and resist. So if anyone is putting you down, or getting in your way - know that their resistance to your future and well being is futile.

You keep having those boundaries. Keep on keeping on. You're sharp, you're witty, and of all things you have kept your kind heart. One day the joy you try to find in the little things will come to you effortlessly and in x100.

I got the need to call you cherub. Chin up, Cherub.

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GROUP 2 (the wing)

Wait, generosity, magic, peacefulness

The hermit, Ace of swords, Son of swords.

eYou're an extremely thoughtful person, aren't you? I get social activist vibes, the kind of person who thinks about bigger issues than just in their personal world, and could debate very well. The ability to get to the kernel of truth within an argument or bigger pattern in the world seems equal to none. If you have a hard time accepting that your opinions mean something, or you would be able to be persuasive, this is confirmation for you that actually - yes - you do have something meaningful to share with others.

In this pile I'm seeing a more peaceful, patient character. Someone who simply tries to be good, and do good for others. You create magic for other people. My heart swells at this, as I'm seeing reciprocity of kindnesses between you and others over time.

While The son of swords on it's own could potentially be quick to intervene or make a judgement, with the hermit and wait, I'm feeling more that you take the time to think things over. For example, if asked to make a decision, you would want to take your time and really think. If you were asked what your thoughts were on a political stand point, you would think in depth and make no judgements from the surface. This is so helpful, as there's less chance of misunderstanding/unkindness as well as the ability to make better long term decisions for yourself.

Very introspective, and the ace of swords suggests you have great clarity of mind. I can imagine you would be a wonderful person for explaining complicated matters to a wide group of people.

Generosity is what it says on the tin: You are a generous human. That is so, so important. There are many people out there who might feel like no one thinks about them or cares, and you come in and surprise them with something, or offer them help without them asking. It makes people feel valued, and like they are important or have a place in someone's life.

Peacefulness suggests not inviting drama, and I get 2 things. You might be described as grounded, or "chill". As well as this likely suggests your lack of interest in being within a dramatic situation. You are likely very good at looking at others drama, and seeing where it truly stems from, as well as having a good idea of advice for them. If you have friends right now, it's likely they feel peaceful being around you and that they can truly calm down or get your advice on their *own* drama.

You are so important to the people around you, and if there are people that can't appreciate you, I promise you they have *no* idea how lucky they are. You offer so much as a friend, confidant, and as a person who cares for the worlds well being. I appreciate you.

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GROUP 3: ( Little bird

Blessed change, gratitude, engagement, follow your heart, father of pentacles, the empress, the star

You're cool.

Right off the bat, I see your ability to see the silver lining, to take changes as they come (and I don't mean you happily drudge through hard changes, I mean more like you accept them more easily than others). Do you know, it really helps a persons resilience in life if they can have gratitude for things in general, as well as seeing the positive affects of life changes. You have an ability to notice the opportunities in said silver lining. An example I've read in the past involved a man who lost his job, but an opportunity came up for something he was passionate regarding his hobby. He would not have been free to do it unless he was let go of.

You're my free flowing group. Very adaptable. You're able to take time out to really think about what you truly desire in life. When themes like this come up, I really get the idea of authenticity. To put a focus on following your heart, being grateful for what you've taken part in and even quirky circumstances is a massive strength. Do you have any idea how scary that is to people? To wake up and think "My heart wants this, I'm going to actually aim for it because I need to be myself." That's terrifying to many!

Note: If you are finding it hard to be upfront or true to yourself due to fear, this is confirmation that you will be able to in the future. Take your time, as this will come naturally to you.

I know you might be shrugging thinking, but sometimes I get really negative or scared too. I won't say that's not a thing humans experience. What I am saying however, is that you have that strength of character to say actually, nothing would be worse than to answer to my fear. Fear of self expression, fear of being judged. Fear of not having your project liked. These kinds of things.

I feel like you're a fun person who is very interesting to people/has had at least one very interesting or unusual experience. I want you to know the cards are showing that people really enjoy speaking with you, and hearing your stories. So no negative self talk of being boring, or disliked.

Your flexibility, and your ability to be sociable, yet able to pull back appropriately is wonderful. The world needs those who can be more easy going as this can help people de-stress and stop thinking about their worries.

I'm seeing wonderful creativity, and again, being able to be social and talk to many people very well. You're a shining star, and you're supposed to be!

I wonder if sometimes you feel like you need to be "more" productive, but let me tell you... Networking with people is half the job.

I'm also wondering (as a rainbow stands out) if some here are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. It would make sense with the authenticity. If you have a social media presence, or a creative project you want to get out, or expressing your personal experiences to the world - this is confirmation to keep standing tall, stand proud because yes, you do have a lot to offer! King of pentacles next to the empress also suggests you might be on to something that can bring in some income for you. Again, even sharing your experiences is very valued and may well be it. The world itself wants to see you, or whatever you desire to create.

If you have a hard time focusing or being practical, darling, you get along well with others for a reason. Ask for help, whether it's family, friends online, a teacher, anyone. There's help to steer you further in the right direction. You're a beautiful person and you matter to people. You are loved, so please love yourself.

There's something here that seems upset, and I just have the biggest urge to hug you! So if you will, accept my many energetic and virtual hugs!

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GROUP 4: "Be mine"

Worthiness, Ups and downs, courage

Ace of pentacles, Ace of wands, daughter of wands (reversed)

Daughter of wands reversed suggests to me, that you have the traits such as this, but perhaps not the confidence in yourself right now about those things. The book describes her as passionate, visionary, cares more for career and starts a family later; stubborn, strong (i take this as physically actually) and may be going through a spiritual breakthrough or a big change. With this I get the thought that you probably don't recognise just *how* passionate you truly are. You might be finding it hard to go a certain way in your career and studies. There might even be some worries that you might not stick at it. But what you are not realising is your actions have magic in them.

If you are interested in LOA: Your actions manifest not only in a practical sense, but *that's* what truly gets the energy moving. You need physical expression of some kind.

I'm getting such practical, but passionate energy. The ace of wands with courage? That's amazing. Fire sign or not, you have classic fire energy. Even when you lack confidence, you have a strange inner ability to be brave even at your worst times.

Oh, if only you had the confidence to aim!

Your energy and action are seriously magnificent. You have a *lot* of inner energy, spiritual energy, physical vitality. If you have health issues this might sound strange to you - but I get the idea your body was built with a lot of vitality available. You might have really struggled in life with ups and downs here, but I'm seeing you crash right through all the barriers and try to do life the best way you know how. No matter your struggles, you are a warrior here.

The 2 aces here (that is so interesting to have seen) show that you are probably quite good at beginning new things, and when you're motivated, you're MOTIVATED. I'm getting the idea that when you *do* take action on a goal, you go at it with everything and it can surprise people.

I'm seeing creative ability. It's an ability that I have seen myself. An example would be.... A mistake is made in a piece of art. It didn't go the way you wanted originally. But, wait a minute... that's starting to look like something, so I'm going to change it all up and create something completely different than intended.

It's seeing potential in a small detail. I'm seeing original thinking.

I just see a bulls eye, and such great energy and ability, but the lack of confidence. And so, I feel like you're at a time where you're stopping yourself, or won't aim for something out of fear of failing. I also got the sentence biting your tongue. I'm sorry if you're in a situation where you can't speak up for yourself, as this is not aligned with your character.

Overall I believe your a creative but practical person, and have the ability to really pull through and create wonderful things. You can be *very* brave as well as motivated and so I feel you inspire others, as well as surprise them.

I really do feel that with worthiness, it is hinting to confidence/self esteem issues as it says "know that you deserve to receive good in all ways".

You deserve to be successful. You deserve to take the career path that you have been thinking about. You deserve people to treat you well. You deserve to have that hobby, whether you're "good" or not.

Deep down somewhere you know you are bigger than this. I am wishing for a healthy full confidence boost for you and some new energy to help push you.

Please have the courage to aim, as bob ross says:

"we don't make mistakes, we make happy little accidents"

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And that's the last of them! I hope you enjoyed, and I hoped this help you feel a little better about yourself. We need to cheer ourselves up sometimes and let ourselves think good things. We attract more honey with sugar after all!

Until the next pick a card!

Thank you!

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[yandere-daydreams]

Twelve Days of Christmas - Day Nine

Prompt: Gifts.

Pairing: Yandere!Malleus/Reader (Twisted Wonderland).

TW: Emotional Manipulation, Implied Imprisonment, Burning, Threats of Bodily Harms, and Slight Marking.

“Lilia claims it’s a human tradition.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at Malleus’ tone, his usual composure infected by something playful, a childish lilt that only grew more jovial as appeared behind you, his larger form soon draped over yours. Sitting at the vanity he’d provided, your arms resting on the wooden table-top, you could see his reflection in the circular mirror, a soft smile playing at the corner of his mouth, one that was soon obscured as he pressed a soft kiss into the edge of your jaw, then your cheek while you bit back a laugh. You’d never expected him to be so affectionate, behind closed doors, but you couldn’t say you minded. Not when it came to Malleus.

You couldn’t complain, either. You were his guest, here, in the Valley of Thorns, in the castle he’d insisted on whisking you away to after your graduation from Night Raven. It was sweet of him, honestly. He’d given you a room for weeks, let his servants dote on you as they did him, so it was the least you could do to tolerate the sudden change in his demeanor, to grin as you felt gloved fingers brush against your neck, followed by something metallic and warm to the touch. You didn’t look, though, not yet, keeping your gaze fixed on him. You wanted it to be a surprise, even if Malleus didn’t seem to remember part of your ‘tradition’. “You’re a few days early,” You started, more out of habit than anything else. “And it really isn’t necessary. I already feel like I’m leeching off of you, more jewelry probably isn't going to help.”

“Then think of this as a present for me.” If nothing else, you adored his sincerity, how genuine the fondness in his voice seemed - so sweet, you thought you could’ve been sick. Without thinking, you leaned back, letting your head come to rest against his chest as he fiddled with something above the nape of your neck. Malleus was many things, but he wasn’t unpredictable. Already, you could feel the shape of a necklace, weighted down and pulled taut. You could feel it getting tighter as he messed with the clasp, but you didn’t say anything. If it needed to be resized, you could bring that up later, assuming Malleus’ attention didn’t jump to his next gift first. “Your company is all the repayment I need.” You rolled your eyes, but he didn’t seem to notice. Or, it did little to dampen his mood, at least. “Anything I can do to make your time here that much more enjoyable, I’ll do. It’s not like I’m at a loss for resources in my own kingdom.”

It was a jarring reminder, despite how casually he brought it up. It was easy to forget about his status when there was so little to remind. From what you could gather, the fae hierarchy was steep, and although Malleus didn’t try to keep you away from his guards or his staff or any of the other nobles, they kept their distance on their own. It was traditional, you guessed. You weren’t his partner, not officially, but it would’ve been easy to assume you were. It wasn’t like Malleus ever made an effort to address the rumors.

There was a soft click, the scrape of metal against metal. “You can look, my love. I know you’ve been avoiding it.”

Well, you couldn’t say he was wrong.

It was a necklace, you were right about that. A band of intertwined silver threads, braided loosely into a pattern of dipping and rising strings, all joining together to hold a row of small, rounded emeralds in place, all perfectly cut, all perfectly sized, all perfect. It was just the kind of thing you’d come to expect from Malleus, but there was something else to it, a shine that was just a bit brighter than it should’ve been, a level of quality that no craftsman would’ve been able to achieve naturally, regardless of their talent. Subconsciously, you leaned towards your reflection, trying to get a better look, but the necklace didn’t shift as you moved, every stray coil remaining still, as if it’d been fixed to your skin. Your smile dropped, but Malleus didn’t seem to hold a similar concern. He only let out a breath of a laugh, his hands soon settling on your shoulders, too busy admiring your reflection to realize that you might not be doing the same thing.

“It’s lovely, isn’t it?” The question was innocent enough, but there was a hollow ring to it, something that fell between rhetorical and purposefully one-sided. You didn’t answer, you didn’t even try, but Malleus didn’t seem bothered. “I may have actually been a little selfish with this one, in all honesty. I knew it’d make you look stunning, and I couldn’t resist.” You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the mirror, from the chocker slowly growing warmer around your neck, but you could feel Malleus kiss the top of your head, his lips lingering longer than they should’ve, as he went on. “It’s nothing you’ll have to worry about. I just noticed you don’t put my gifts to use, very often. I’m not angry, but the jeweler guaranteed that this piece would come with a certain enchantment to help with your forgetfulness.”

You didn’t need him to explain further. “I can’t take it off.”

“You can’t take it off without my help,” He corrected, gently. “If you want to try, I’m not going to stop you. But, I promise, it won’t be--”

You were tearing at the chain in a moment, clawing at the cords, doing anything you could to get the damn thing off of you, but your resistance didn’t last long. As soon as you made contact with one of his glowing, distorted emeralds, the entire necklace seemed to start to burn, smoldering with a heat so intense, it was all you could do to pull away while just your fingertips were singed. It felt like sticking your hand into a hearth. It felt like having someone drip molten iron onto your collar. Like the gems were coals taken from the pit of a fire, and Malleus was suddenly sadistic enough to string them around your neck and insist it was supposed to be a gift.

You buckled before you could catch yourself, jerking forward and relying on Malleus to catch you. Your whole body was shaking, still trembling with terror and dread and pain, but if he noticed, and he had to notice, he didn’t care. Instead, Malleus occupied himself with the necklace, bringing up a hand to toy with the band of silver, never once hesitating as you flinched and tried to pull away. If anything, he only seemed more confident, more affectionate. “Don’t act so disappointed. This is a present, after all, and a rather thoughtful one, at that.” He paused, waiting just long enough to smother his chuckle, just long enough to pull you much closer than you ever wanted to be to him again.

Just long enough for you to catch the edge of his grin, as it flashed across his reflection.

“I could always resort to an uglier method of teaching you to appreciate my charity, if you don’t want to accept it.”

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #16

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15]

[AO3]

~POV Sinbad~ Mori wasn't just a Prophet, she had immense knowledge of her own that was going to make Sindria untouchable. Sinbad was going to achieve his dream much sooner than he had ever imagined. Mori was special; intelligent, clever, capable, and she could read the waves of Fate. Was there any other woman as attractive? The unknown craving that had plagued him for the past week was placated. Delicious wine, beautiful women, delicious food -none of his normal pleasures had fulfilled whatever that feeling was, but for some reason this moment with the his Beautiful Prophet was. "And now you're *my* kind and generous King Sinbad, ... Right?" Mori's bashful confidence was always endearing, but hearing her call him 'my King' in person made something snap in him. They were in a corner and Mori is small; he could easily block view of her in case any of the magicians turned around. He wouldn't even have to lean that far to get a taste of her. "DO EITHER OF YOU Have an ounce of self awareness??” Ja'far popped the bubble that had formed around the two.

King Sinbad froze. Everyone in the room was watching them. Sinbad stood up straight. He shouldn't exactly continue his plans with an audience. He removed his hand from the window and crossed his arms. Yam was practically shaking the magician next to her. "I wasn't the only one to see it this time!” An older magician with a beard laughed and said something like 'to be young.' Another said something a long the lines of "So it's like that then." Ja'far was still grumbling about his King's behavior -he should know better by now, he promised he wouldn't, etc. but 1. Sinbad didn't do anything wrong, and 2. he said he knew what he was doing -he knew how to handle flirting with Mori; he never said anything about not flirting with her. "And you, Lady Prophet," Ja'far changed targets. 'Oh?' Sinbad didn't expect Mori to be reprimanded for his flirting -although, she did flirt back. Ja'far continued, "You said that you knew about Sin's habits so wouldn't fall for him or-" "AAAAAH" Yamuraiha yelled over the other General as she crossed the room as fast as she could, and clapped a hand over his mouth. She turned to the King and Prophet with wide eyes and a forced smile. "Your Majesty! Mori! Would you like to see the spell again with our new changes?!" She didn't let go of Ja'far. The group of magicians started supporting her suggestion with "Let us show you," "I'm sure we've got it this time," and reciting the changes to the formula. They were clearly trying to stop Ja'far from discouraging Mori. Sinbad had no idea why they suddenly decided to become his wingmen, but it was convenient for him since he planed to do more than flirt with her later. Mori walked up to the Generals, although she only addressed Yamuriaha. "Yes, please! Even if it's not perfect I'd like to see your progress!" She spoke with the same forced enthusiasm as Yam. Sinbad only got a glimpse before Mori's back was to him, but her face was definitely a brighter red than it had been a moment ago. She was getting better at flirting with him, but she couldn't hold her composure for long. The King laughed as the head magician practically body checked Ja'far out of her way and left him out of the group before they preformed the newly revised spell. This time it produced a mostly clear stone. It wasn't a high quality diamond, but they had done it. They would have to be careful with this though since it could lower the market value of whatever they make. As they figured out the specifics for every substance they needed, Sindria could become fully self sufficient -they would still deal in trade so as to not completely leave the rest of the world behind. It was amazing. His magicians were amazing for being able to figure this out in such a short time, and his Prophet was just as -if not even more- amazing for knowing all of this and being able to explain it to them. When the excitement around the magic spell died down they finally showed him the microscope. It was a prototype so they had to be gentle with it. Two pieces of glass with water squished between them were slid under and when Sinbad looked through the lenses he saw the strange small creatures that Mori had written about. Seeing them forced him to accept that what Mori wrote about 'germs' had to be true too -and those were even smaller than these things. Looking at those things squirming around and knowing they were everywhere made his skin crawl. The King stopped looking through the device. "They really are real." "Yup." Mori responded plainly. "And now that you all know and have proof. There's going to have to be a lot of changes. The way illnesses are handled is obvious, but there's going to have to be a lot more changes to how food and housing and things are handle to better maintain sanitary environments. I know a bunch of sanitation procedures so I can help there too." Ja'far was rubbing his temples. "This is going to be a logistical nightmare. Do you realize that we are going to have to fix all those things and get all Sindrians to understand without having it affect our production or

trade??" "It's not like we're doing this alone." Mori tried to comfort him. "We'll figure something out." The conversation moved to this new problem. His Beautiful Prophet really was something else. She had solutions to problems they didn't even know they had. Mori had a habit of using her hands whenever she talked -even more when she was excited. She was cute and deserved to know, but she was in the middle of helping his people so he would hold his tongue and just watch her. If Sinbad was honest, he had stopped listening to the conversation a while ago and was just looking for an opportunity to finally ask Mori -and Yam of course- if they would join him for dinner so he could get all of his Generals more aquatinted with her. Someone mentioned a specific scroll in one of the libraries. Before the whole group could drag Mori out of the room, King Sinbad raised a hand and got everyone's attention. "I know there's a lot to do, but I have some things to discuss with my Beautiful Prophet as well." Mori looked back at him. "What is it?” It seemed that nickname wasn't as affective as before -hopefully it was just the timing. "Is it something we can talk about here?” "I was thinking we could talk over dinner," Sinbad paused to see how she would respond to the implications. Mori's eyes widened and her shoulders tensed, and best of all that blush came back. "With all of my Generals, of course." Mori blushed harder realizing he was messing with her. Yam looked disappointed at first -his Generals cared way to much about him finding a wife- but then she looked content with being a part of the plan. "You might have met them, and know them from reading Fate but they still don't know you yet." He finished. Yam spoke first. "This is a great idea. Pisti was just telling me that she wanted to get to know Mori." Mori regained her composer. "I'd like to get to know everyone personally too, so I'm find with this." It was a roundabout way of saying 'yes.' Her blush was gone but she was still embarrassed. With that settled, Ja'far let Yam and Mori know when dinner would be ready. It was a little earlier than he normally ate but this would give them more time to mingle before they'd be completely out of sunlight. "Well then," the King turned to his Prophet, "since we have some time beforehand-" "OH no you don't!" Ja'far cut in. "You've already had a long enough break *and* you plan on ending early today? The least you can do is work your butt off until then." --- ~POV Mori~ The King was pushed out of the room by his right hand man. I had a mix of relief and longing watching him go. "You'll see his Majesty again soon." Yam had a sweet smile on her face, but I knew better than to trust it. All eyes were on me and they were no longer the eyes of academics; they were hungry for gossip. I was not ready to explain why shipping us was a bad idea. "So about that scroll you mentioned earlier..." I completely shifted conversation back to the eventual rebuilding effort and luckily one of them obliged me.

I was lead to one of the libraries and handed a few scrolls on the construction used in the country. I had read a little on ancient construction methods out of interest and some on modern methods since my uncle worked in the industry. I had a little bit of experience with construction when I worked at a community theater, but it wouldn't be anything the people here wouldn't know. That paired with these documents showing how magic was used in the process made what little I did know completely useless. 'Can't know everything I guess.' I turned my head up towards the ceiling. I wasn't sure how much time I had left and I decided to use it soaking up the ambience of the library. The smell of paper, the maze-esc layouts, the quiet feeling; it's like a gentle space separate from the rest of the world. The libraries of the Black Libra Tower also had huge windows to let in a ton of natural lighting. I was really going to enjoy working in this place. --- Yam and I ended up lost in conversation, so someone ended up being sent to bring us to the dinner. When we finally arrived and opened the doors to the dining hall my nose was filled with the smell of herbs and delicious food. This was my first meal that wasn't paired with bitter medicine. I might have been procrastinating subconsciously to avoid the medicine I was no longer taking. Everyone was already there chatting. The long table was covered with food, but I couldn't make out any of it from the door. King Sinbad was sitting at the head of the table at the other end of the room with a goblet in his hand. Yamuraiha started in ahead of me and called into the room. "I'm sorry we're so late! We were talking about magical proofs and," she rambled in her explanation. I heard a few comments of congrats for getting better and said "Thanks" reflexively more than consciously. As I got closer, I ignored the Generals at the table to look at the spread. There were a few different types of fish, meat of some kind, a bunch of vegetables, and bread. It brought tears to my eyes; It was so beautiful. The Imuchukk laughed at my obvious interest in the food. "What are you waiting for? There plenty for everyone." He was sitting closest to the door. I didn't look away from the food when I answered. "I'm small with a small stomach so I'm going to need to pace myself to be able to eat a little of everything. If I save the best for last like I normally do then I might not even get to eat it." That garnered laughs and comments. I ignored them; I was too busy weighing my options. As the guest of honor I was placed at the opposite end of the table from King Sinbad. Thank goodness, because I didn't think I could handle being super close to him all evening. Even with the direct line of sight, I had distance to protect me. Yam sat on the other side of Hina from me. Pisti was on my other side. Sharrkan was across from Yam. Spartos was between Yam and Ja'far. Drakon was across from Ja'far. And Masrur was between Drakon and Sharrkan.

I picked up my plate to get food. "Alright. I've decided to just grab my favorites. If I have room later then so be it!" I was used to being watched while I eat so their stares didn't bother me. I covered my plate in all of the types of fish and some vegetables. "I take it you like fish?" Sinbad asked while I was taking some of the fish that was on his end of the table. "It's my favorite!" I answered excitedly. I could tell as I placed the grilled fish on my plate that it was going to be heavenly. It was already flaking and letting the smell reach me faster. I couldn't wait to get back to my seat and took a bite of the fish. It melted in my mouth. I let out a squeak of approval as I grabbed another bite. After a moment Sinbad asked me another question. "What do you think of greasy foods?" It felt pointed. "I'll eat it if it's the only option, but I'm not a fan." The Generals made some comments that amounted to, "They have the same taste." I was too busy enjoying my food to think about what they were saying. Pisti asked me her own pointed question as I sat down. "Do you like alcohol?" They were comparing me to Sinbad. I suddenly remembered the Official Character Encyclopedia. According to it, Sinbad's favorite food was fish, his least favorite was greasy, and his favorite snacks were the types that paired well with alcohol. "I'm not a big drinker, but it's not like I dislike alcohol. I'm just allergic to sulfites." "Huh?" The group asked in unison. Time to explain one of my allergies again. "Sulfites are a very useful preservative so it was also added to a lot of foods back home including alcohol. All grape wines produce sulfites naturally. When I ingest about 2 shots of a drink that contains sulfites I will struggle to breathe for about an hour." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, the goblet of wine I didn't realize was in front of me was grabbed by Hinahoho. They all looked panicked at each other like they had just dodged a bullet. In an attempt to relieve the tension, Sinbad asked Yam to catch everyone up on the meeting from earlier. Yam started ranting about the progress we had made with the alchemy magic. While they focused on reclaiming the mood, I focused on the delicious food. I tried a root vegetable on my plate. It was a little earthy with a subtle sweetness. The seasoning added to the sweet, but also had a little spice similar to cracked pepper. It had been streamed so it wasn't crunchy. I was asked to repeated what I told Sin and Ja'far earlier about the tech of home, Their questions had me explain more about my world and many of the things I had done: volunteer work to get scholarships, marketing for some networking organizations and some other companies, an assistant and teacher in out of school programs for 6 years while also working at a theater to pay for my own education. I only mentioned some of the places I had traveled to. I didn't even get to the things I did as hobbies or in working toward my dream of being a full time writer&artist. "I'm surprised by how much you say you've done." Drakon commented. I had heard similar before when talking about my past. "Is it really that shocking? Considering my age, I think it makes sense for me to have done a bit." It's more shocking that I was doing all that while getting so sick from my chronic illnesses that I would be fully bedridden and need a machine to breathe at least once a year until I turned 15. But I had also ate up inspiration porn as a child as a motivation to not let my body hold me back if I could. "Aren't we around the same age?" Yam asked me in response. I laughed. "Do I look 23 to you?" I've been mistaken for much younger than I actually was for as long as I could remember. It 1st became a problem when I turned 18 and got told I was clearly 12 with a fake ID when trying to buy an M rate game (Devil May Cry btw). "You're not?” ”Nope.” I rested my elbows on the table, interlocked my fingers, and I placed my chin on top with a smile, "But I'm curious how old you all think I am now." At 25 I was mistaken for a 14

year old. At least, a few months back someone thought I was legal (they guessed 19). Most realized I had to be older the more they talked to me, but their impressions never fully dissipated. As frustrating as it was, I found amusement in times like this by turning my age into a guessing game. Sharkkan had the face of someone fearing they had hit on someone too young. "You are at least 20, right?” They all suddenly looked worried. "I'm definitely older than 20." I answered. Pisti laughed. She was also short with a baby face; she knew my struggle. "Maybe she's older than Ja'far!” Of course she would make the closest guess. "There's no way she's older than me." Ja'far scoffed. "I am older than 25 though.” I could have teased him but I held my tongue since he already seemed annoyed with me. "How old are you then?” Hina asked. "I'm 29.” I smiled at everyone's surprise. I might only have surface levels similarities to Sinbad, but when you're a simp for a fictional character does that really matter? "I was born on April 7th so I should only be 5 days younger than King Sinbad since he was born on the 2nd. However, I don't know if there's a time dilation between my world and this one. The day we met was Oct 3rd for me back home. It wasn't the same date here, was it?" Sinbad is 29, Ja'far is 25, and Masrur is 20 during the Balbadd arc; their 2nd set of ages are 30, 26, and 21 respectfully. Ja'far's birthday is Aug 30th and Masrur's is Dec 27. Those 2nd ages listed can't be for right after the 6 month time skip because no matter how you calculate it the shortest distance between those 3 birthdays is 8 months. I was really interested in how the current arbiter of this world was going to figure this out. "It was Oct 3rd here too." "Oh. Well, that's convenient," was what I said while my thoughts were cursing the arbiter. 'That lazy son of a bitch synced the worlds so they wouldn't have to deal with a time dilation. I can feel it. Hold on... I arrived on Oct 3rd; the coup was 4 days later on the 7th. 6 months later would mean Sinbad arrives back in Sindria on my birthday. Did some 'real me' somewhere plan a b-day present for myself in some self-indulgent fanfiction??' ((Yes. Yes, I did UwU & I plan on making Mori panic then too.)) King Sinbad had that smile on his face that told me he was ready to flirt. "I didn't realize we were so close in age." No colors got in my way when he talked. That was good. I was desensitized again, and wouldn't have to deal with unnecessary distractions. I couldn't tease Ja'far, but I could tease his Majesty. "I know, right? It's amazing what the difference of 5 days can do for one's complexion." Sinbad froze and his expression went blank. Something that was probably wine sprayed across the table as Sharkkan had a spit take before erupting into laughter with Hinahoho and Pisti. "Oh my" Yam murmured with a hand over her mouth. Drakon , Spartos, and Ja'far stared at me in disbelief. Sinbad still wasn't responding... Maybe teasing him about his age was a bad idea. So far, unless it was something important I flirted with Sinbad since that was the best way to get on his good side; hearing something like this from me must have hurt a bit extra. I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I forgot just how sensitive he was about his age. I ended up flailing my hands from nerves, and to get his attention. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that when I know how self conscious you are." He flinched. "I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but you won't look any older than you do now 5 years from now..." "I uh.. Is that so?" Sinbad asked as he started to regain himself. "It is. You'll be just as-” "If you're willing to talk about the future, does that mean you are finally ready to explain about those calamities you mentioned in Balbadd?" Ja'far cut in with a fierce look. He had been waiting for any mention of the future to bring this up. The King spoke with a gentle but stern tone. "I don't know if this is the time for that conversation. This is Mori's first meal with

everyone after all." "I'm fine. I made a promise and I intend to keep it. As long as everyone else is willing to talk seriously for a few mins, I don't see the problem." I had been avoiding this conversation for long enough. There were things I still planned to keep secret, but I couldn't avoid having this conversation forever. And besides, I could feel in the waves that Ja'far wasn't going to let this night end unless I explained some of it. ((I have the next 3 chapters written but it's going to take me a bit to draw all of illustrations & comics. Also, good luck to all the students reading this. I know classes are starting up again. Be safe out there.))

[sweeethinny]

James is Dating - Part 2

I love part 1, but I felt that Ginny's reaction to that was missing, so here goes, one more mother and son moment between James S. and Ginny

Part 1 | AO3

read bellow the cut :)

'Busy?' Ginny said, head into James' messy room, looking for him in all that mess of clothes, gifts, new things, and a lot of other things he kept inside.

'No. Do you need anything?’ He stepped out of the small closet by the window, still wearing only the old, dirty paint-dry shorts he had used to help build the new house for Sir, their dog.

'Do you want to go with me to the market? Your father asked me to buy more ice cream, fish and beer.' Today all the Weasley and aggregates would gather at the Potter house, Harry seemed more anxious than ever to open the new room, which was now not just a forgotten room at the back of the house, with everything that couldn't fit in the attic, which almost never had the windows open. It was an appropriate place, with comfortable armchairs, a wallpaper of flamingos that Ginny had chosen and an incredible view of the pool and the sunset.

'Sure, I'm just going to put the shirt on ... will I meet you down there?' She nodded, closing the door and walking to the stairs.

It had been a day since James told Harry that he was dating and so far he has remained silent to Ginny, which saddened her a little, since James always told her several things. She waited patiently after dinner, guaranteed to get James to help clear the table with her, and yet, today during the morning run, she tried not to say too much, hoping that he would bother with the silence - as he always did - and talk about the news she already knew.

Harry summed up what the two of them had talked about and how happy James looked about how it all went down, but Ginny wanted to hear directly from him, not just what her husband remembered.

Harry couldn't tell if James had that sparkle in his eyes that she saw appear during one of the dinners, while he and Mira talked softly in the other corner of the table, and her son seemed to almost sparkle every time she laughed. Or when he hurry down the stairs while the owl hooted to announce it arrival with the mail. And Ginny wouldn't even comment on the time she caught him looking at Mira' breasts. It was a quick thing, while she and Mira talked about Quidditch, the girl fixed the collar of her sweater, without any apparent malice, and out of the corner of her eye Ginny had been able to notice the movement of James' eyes.

She wanted to laugh and make some comment about it, but the boy soon managed to get them off track and take Mira away from Ginny, saying they were going to play Quidditch - and they went.

Mira was a girl that Ginny had been cheering James on to notice her, since the first day Ginny met her, she was a sweet person, and it was understandable that even Scorpion, always tried to be around her on vacation. She was also beautiful; tall, almost the same height as James, with blonde hair similar to Fleur's, but more wavy and messy than the perfectly smooth strands of her sister-in-law, dark eyes that seemed almost unreal, and a way of behaving that exuded confidence. Not much to detriment her, just enough that she could survive the world without being too affected. And she was smart, which was a very important point for Ginny not to worry about.

As far as James talked, her mother was a witch and so was her stepfather, while her father was a muggle, as were her grandparents. They even got to know her mother on a day when they went to get Mira to go with them to the Quidditch Cup, the woman had studied in the same year as the twins but was a Ravenclaw, just like her husband.

Mira was the perfect girl that Ginny could have imagined for James.

Okay, aside from the fact that maybe she was in as much or more trouble than the boy, but it was something to let go of.

'Is Dad going to make fish? I thought Teddy had convinced him to make that meat pie,’ James appeared, startling Ginny who was concentrating on watching the yard through the big window in the living room.

'You know what he looks like, when he put something on his head, forget it.' She turned, smiling at the boy and giving him her arm to hold, in order to apparate to the dark and safe alley where they landed. The market was a block and a half away, but today was a Saturday during the holidays, which meant crowded streets and long lines for even the simplest things.

'Excited to start classes?' She asked, needing to restrain herself from releasing a million questions about the courtship he had kept hidden for so long.

'Yes, at least I’m not going to see Professor Johann anymore, which makes me very happy. ’

'I thought you liked DADA.' The two stopped in the fishmonger line, surrounded by conversation.

'I like it,' James shrugged, fussing with his hair like his father did, almost making Ginny laugh. 'But he is very annoying, and he hates me.'

'I doubt it.'

'I'm serious, he hates us all but Mira, but it's because she and he share the same terrible taste for books, and they've been reading the same saga lately, but if it weren't for that, he would make her organize more than thousand of his books in alphabetical order too, as he does with us. '

‘And what does he tell her to do?’ Ginny wanted to jump for joy because they were talking about Mira, knowing that now it would be much easier to pull James’s secret.

'He almost never gives her detention, really, it's almost like he was blind to her walking down the corridors or in the forest at night, but the times he had to do that, Mira said that she just kept separating the tests by year and home' James denied, looking incredulous.

'Well ... and what would she be doing in the hall at night? Or in the Forest? ’

'Nothing I know of, of course.' James smiled in that way that always made Ginny and Harry watch, his eyes shining in something malicious, as if hiding to death what the hell they were up to at school. 'I am usually in my room, you know? Respecting the schedule and sleeping early. ’

‘Oh sure, I sure believe that,’ She smiled falsely. 'Will Mira come to dinner?'

'No, she traveled to her uncles' house in France, her cousin just gave birth to a baby.'

'Hm ... We should go to France for the next vacation, it is a pretty beautiful destination, especially in the summer.' James smiled in agreement, but if Ginny knew her son well, he was not thinking about French landscapes. 'I like her.'

'From whom?' The boy looked at her, curious, as if he were caught in the act.

'Mira. She is very kind to us. ’

'She is like that naturally.' James defended her, even though Ginny was not implying anything.

'A great quality, by the way ... And she is beautiful.' James' cheeks turned pink, but he continued to look confidently at all the fish exposed in the ice basins, it was almost their turn.

'Scorpion agrees with that, I think I saw him looking at her legs more times than I can count.' He looked at Ginny, his brown eyes looking so much like the ones she saw in the mirror when she caught herself thinking about Harry as she dressed for her class, trying to ignore how all the girls seemed to like him now that he was in sixth year and had grown up.

'And you? Do you agree?' She took a risk, biting her cheek to contain her smile when her son's face caught fire.

'She is my best friend.'

'Hermione was Ron's best friend.' She shrugged. ‘That didn’t stop him from finding her beautiful.’

'Daddy told you, didn't he?' James stared at her as if Ginny had just said that she knew his biggest secret, eyebrows raised.

'Did he tell what?' Before James could speak, however, the fishmonger called them.

They didn't waste a lot of time in the market, exchanging few words while choosing the products and then paying, walking at a slow pace and almost as if they were postponing their return home, feeling the breeze of that summer night, and seeing the city brighter and more awake than ever.

James didn't open his mouth, seeming to think well before speaking, but Ginny wanted to laugh and ask her son if he thought she was an idiot and that she hadn't realized that overnight, there were pictures of him with Mira in his room, especially the one of the two in Hogsmeade where he had his arm around her waist.

'He told you what I told him.' The boy finally spoke, and Ginny stopped walking, thinking that if they went home, there would be no way to talk without Albus, Lily, Harry or her whole family arriving and hinder, then, she preferred to stop and sit on a bench that was in front of a square they used to run, discreetly putting a spell so that the fish that would not spoil by staying out of the ice.

'Yes.' She looked at him as soon as they were seated, smiling from ear to ear. 'Your father is a gossip, you know that.'

'What do you think?' James also smiled, but his cheeks were flushed.

'Well, I like Mira, and as long as it doesn't interfere with your studies or hers, everything is fine. I've been waiting for this for some time.' The boy laughed, denying and looking at the lake that shone ahead, lit by the various lampposts.

'Her grandmother wants to talk to us.'

'Grandma?' James nodded, laughing even more.

'She says she wants to meet our family, said she is tired of just hearing about the Potter but never sees them in person.' The two laughed. 'It's all right? Are we going to have dinner with them after they get back from the trip?’

'Of course, it will be a good time, I'm sure.' She sighed. 'Do you like her? Isn't it just something to pass the time?' Ginny didn't know if she would be able to overcome the disappointment she would feel if James did that, even though she thought it unlikely that he would be able to play with Mira's feelings like that.

'Nooo, I really like her. We get along well.' He looked happy, in fact, during the Easter break he looked a little miserable, and Ginny wondered now if it had anything to do with her. James was no longer hiding in the room and remaining silent and scowling in the corners

'Good, because I like her very much, and we would fight if you were playing with her.'

'It is more capable of her making me cry than the other way around,' he joked. 'But I wouldn't have told you if it was nothing.'

'You didn't tell, your father told me.'

'Yeah, whatever.' He shrugged. 'I think I was embarrassed... Lily made the whole trip miserable, sitting in our compartment just to provoke, talking nonstop to Mira.'

'She's jealous of you, you're her big brother.' Ginny smiled, remembering how sulky her daughter was every time James went out with friends and she needed to stay. 'You did the same with Teddy. It's normal.'

'But it sucks.' He made a face. ‘Albus wasn’t like that when he heard.’

'He's better at hiding his feelings, we'll have to wait a few more weeks to find out.' The two were quiet, the music from the pub across the street was loud, as were the laughter and conversation, and Ginny almost started to worry with when it would James who wanted to go to places like that, wondering if she would stay up all night like she did when Teddy first went out.

Not that she didn't trust James, but it was still a little disconcerting to look at him, and realize that he was no longer that little boy who hugged her legs whenever he was embarrassed.

'Are you happy?' She looked at him.

'Yes.' James smiled, that shy dimple appearing on his left cheek. 'I was afraid that she would reject me. She’s a little scary. ’

‘But she didn’t reject it.’

'Yeah, something like that... She tried, and we fought, but then everything went well and I kissed her.' He smiled sheepishly, making Ginny laugh and that maternal concern dissolved a little.

'Well, this is what matters.' She stood up. 'Come on, let's go before your dad pulls out his hair and calls the Aurors to look for us.'

'He wouldn't do that.' The two walked to the alley.

'Never doubt Potter' drama.' Ginny lined them up, James holding her arm. 'I'm happy for you.' She kissed her son's forehead - which was almost starting to get taller than she was - and apparated them back to the house.

[shreddedparchment]

Pseudo Princess Pt.28

A Dangerous Homecoming

04/08/2020

Pairing: King!Steve x Reader          Word Count: 5,529

Warnings: wounds, blood, language, fluff

A/N: We are in the home stretch my loves. The end is in sight. Hopefully I can speed up my momentum. I have the chapters outlined out but always seem to slow down when I’m near the end. I’ve done it with lots of my stories. And I am SORRY. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

Consciousness isn’t something that Steve is often at odds with.

From that fateful day when his mother gave in to her most rabid of fears and made her deal with the Sun Witch. With Doctor Erskine’s enthusiastic encouragement and his own experimental flare, Steve’s fate was changed.

He was altered, irrevocably so. The man he might have grown up to be—or rather, the man he would have died as—had disappeared and in his place a new one was formed. One of drive but not ambition. One with the will to do good and now with the strength to do so.

Steve had been blessed with the body to fight, but now he understands that he was also cursed to drag everyone he loves into the darkness opposite his light.

He gasps, sweating into his expensive and ridiculously extravagant tunic. The dark blue, etched in delicate silver and blacks is nearly soaked through.

His dark gray undershirt clings to his wounded and bruised form.

His lungs struggle for breath as his fear mounts, choking him as silver steel eyes grow dark, black, and dangerous. A curtain of deep chestnut hair flutters around a pale but cold bitten face. There’s a gleam to this man’s left and a fist curls with a keening cry as metal bends.

Steve’s hands twitch. His lips part, dried blood crackling around the edges of his lips.

His fever rages, burning hotter than he’s ever burnt before. The wound in his side stings. The pain is consistent until suddenly it stops.

As the dark eyes charge forward, his weapon hand raised to strike, a soft dampness coaxes Steve away from the image. He gasps, death poised to strike only inches away, when a soft whisper pulls him out.

“Shhhh.” The whisper says and Steve lashes out.

His eyes open wide, his hand closed tight around muscle and bone.

“Ow.” You whisper, pained but also controlled.

Steve’s eyes search and find you to his left, right hand angled painfully away from his face with a damp piece of cloth in its grasp.

“You’re safe.” You tell him gently, trying to convince him. “You’re alright.”

The panic in his chest dissipates. His heart begins to slow. There’s a searing burn on his left side and he looks down to see his shirt and tunic pulled up to expose a long wound now stitched together and freshly cleaned.

“Steve…” You plead. “My hand.”

His panic returns and he drops your wrist. “Did I hurt you?”

He pushes himself up but stops as you place a restraining hand on his chest.

“Don’t get up.” You order.

And it is and order. No doubt about it.

Though Steve knows that you take your role as Queen of Broklin very seriously, he has never heard you use that very authority on him and it strokes it heartstrings like a harp.

He sits back, resting against what feels like sacks of grain. It isn’t exactly soft but it’s better than the ground. Beneath his is warm mattress, hay by the feel of it. Grass too probably.

With his senses returning, he takes a quick look around where you’ve brought him.

“Where are we?”

“My home.” You tell him, resuming the cleaning of his face. “Or it used to be.”

You gently massage away the grime from his skin. The blood caked on his scratches and cuts require a bit more pressure but you’re as gentle as can be.

While you work, he takes it in. Your once home.

It’s small. Only one room, slightly smaller than his study back in Broklin.

The floor is made of aged wood that creaks as you shift on your knees to reach the far side of his neck.

There are small holes and cracks, moldy spots of green in one corner. In another a vibrant yellow weed pokes through from the ground below.

The wattle walls have been painted to attempt a brighter interior. The paint is scarce. He can see how you tried your best to make this little room a home.

The windows, all without panes of glass and only shutters to keep out the cold in winter, have begun to crumble and splinter. A vine has begun to take over, weaving it’s way in and up into the leaky thatched roof.

“Sorry about the water. It started raining while I was in the village.” You explain and his eyes hone in on you.

“You went out alone?” He demands, fear beginning to grab hold.

“Just for a little bit.” You stop your cleaning, meeting his fretful gaze with what he knows now is a stubborn will to be independent. “I needed to get some food and clean scraps for your wounds.”

Steve frowns, hating that you'd gone anywhere without him.

He reaches up to place his hand along your left cheek, caressing your skin until his finger finds a small three inch pucker across your cheek bone.

“You’re hurt.” He hates it. He hates it so much his stomach begins to bubble with bile.

“It’s just a scratch, Steve.” You shake your head, then lean towards him again to resume your cleaning. “Luckily my old sewing box was still in the cupboard. I tended your wound as best I could but we should get it looked at properly.

“I don’t want you getting an infection.” You sigh.

Steve’s turns towards the cupboard beside the small table by the fire you’ve got going. There’s an old rusty pot resting just beyond, handle broken.

All of your furniture, including this bed that he’s laying on is of the poorest quality. With you gone and without your care, even though it’s been under a year, it has fallen into disrepair.

“I won’t.” Steve assures you, looking at the sewing box by your legs, resting on the tattered skirts if your once fine dress.

“That won’t work on me, Steve. You’re seeing a doctor as soon as we’re with father.” You frown.

“No.” He shakes his head, looking at your stubborn pout.

He could kiss you. He loves the way you are bot afraid to challenge him or show you care. You love him so openly. With no fear.

He’s never known this kind of love. Freely given with no thought of restraint.

“I mean, I can’t catch an infection.” Steve explains. “I’m already healing. Even my fever is already gone.”

You almost dive towards his cheeks, hand thrown out to feel his temperature. You press your little—well, little to him—palm against his forehead and wait.

Steve can’t help but love you in every moment that you are by his side.

Especially now as you teeter over him, face screwed up with concerned concentration. You’re a mess. Like him.

Skin broken in small places from rocks and the falls you took. Hair completely disheveled. Your crown, the smaller one he’d had made for your outdoor events, is gone. Lost somewhere in the crowd and amongst the fight.

He doesn’t dare bring it to your attention.

His eyes naturally follow the curve of your throat down to your chest, and then finally your stomach.

His calm glee at your fussing quickly fades as the small swell of your stomach—more noticeable to him day after day—grabs hold of his attention completely.

With two hands he cups the bump, wondering if he might somehow know how the little prince is in your belly. His son.

“How are you feeling?” He checks, meeting your gaze which calms as you sit back onto your ankles and place your hands over his.

“He’s alright.” You stroke his fingers, a gesture of comfort. “I was a little worried while we were walking. After the carriage flipped over, I didn’t feel him for a while, but he did wiggle a bit as we walked here.”

Steve feels a rush of relief, grateful to you for always being your shared son’s protector. He knows how much you love him already.

“That’s not what I asked.” Steve clarifies, eyebrows raised high as he waits.

“I’m fine, Steve. A little tired. Achy but that’s to be expected after today. And very worried.” You sigh, shoulders rising high and dropping low as you slouch with the weight of your grief.

Steve knows what you’re thinking about, because he’s been thinking about it too.

He thought about how far he needed to get you away from the city. And Bucky. He thought about his son and his health. And Bucky. He worried about his friends. And Bucky. He wished he could do more for the innocents he’d left behind. And Bucky.

“They’ll have subdued him by now.” Steve promises.

“How do you know? He was so…so lethal, Steve. I’ve never seen him like that. How is it even possible?”

Steve takes a slow breath, knowing that it’s time for this story. He would have preferred for Bucky to tell you himself, but this time…he’ll have to make an exception.

“There’s something you should know about Bucky.” He begins, but you nod.

“This has to do with him being taken a few years ago?” You offer, entirely more knowledgeable than he’d expected you to be. You never cease to amaze him. He shouldn’t be surprised.

You’re smart as a whip. Perhaps not by a Lady’s standards, but you know more than anyone knows. You’re observant and your common sense and instinct is unparalleled.

If you weren’t so important to him, so precious; if you weren’t his only love and the mother of his child, he would recruit you onto the team and find a way to make you impervious to harm.

Maybe find a witch to bewitch you the way they’d done him or even Peter.

“How do you-?”

“The other day when Nat and I spent some time together alone, she alluded to a story. She didn’t tell me, but she said she would. Later.” You explain and Steve can see the resignation of your all too special patience.

“I suppose it’s later.” Steve nods. “A few years ago, Bucky, Nat, Clint, and I were on a quest to find one of the secret Hydra camps in the Southern forests. The deep south. In the elder wood.”

He watches as you bring out your feet from under you and settle on the floor. He hates it, you on the hard surface while he’s on the soft bed…but if he asks you to sit with him, you’ll argue.

“He was gone for weeks. Nat was inconsolable. Clint did what he could but eventually they had to move on. They had things to attend to. Responsibilities. Thor had to go back to Asgard, Tony had to help Pepper run his own Kingdom, and although I—I should have gone back to ruling Broklin, but I couldn’t give up.

“Nat and I kept searching. How could we stop looking? Bucky is…he was my only remaining family. And for Nat…well, it would be like when I lost you. Knowing you’re out there with no way of knowing whether you’re safe, only we knew that Bucky wasn’t.”

“This was after Margaret’s death?” You probe carefully, fearful it seems in upsetting him.

He’s driven that fear into you and it upsets him that you feel you can’t be open with him about Margaret. It’s his own fault.

Steve nods. “Only just. It was so fresh. Her death…and I was grateful for the distraction; however painful it was. The thought of losing Bucky too after everything with Maggie…I couldn’t stand it. I was determined in finding him. As was Nat.”

Steve can almost sense his own desperation again. It was just as bad as when you were missing. He ignores the ache in his chest at both memories and instead presses on, pushing those bad times out of his mind.

You’re here, attentive and precious in front of him. He won’t waste another moment on the thought of you anywhere but at his side.

“When we finally found him, he’d been strapped to a wooden bed with no mattress in the lowest level of a ruined castle. It was damp but hot, as we were farther South than I’d ever been. Although Natasha knew the territory well and we were able to search it with ease thanks to her expertise.

“For the most part, Bucky seemed fine. He was a little tired when we pulled him out of that wretched cell, but he was happy to be with Natasha again.

“His arm…it was gone. Replaced by the one he has now. When we asked him what had happened to it, he said that he didn’t remember and that it did hurt, but not as much as he might have thought it would to lose an arm.”

“Weren’t any of you worried about what they’d done to him?” You ask in shock, voice tight and whispered. Steve can only guess at what has you so spooked but he’s certain it’s the loss of Bucky’s arm. Here was no grand tale of him losing it in battle.

One day it was there, the next it was gone.

“Yes. Of course. Nat and I more than the others because we couldn’t understand why they would take him only to do that to his arm. So, we kept a very close eye on him. We secluded him to one room in the castle with guards at his door day and night.

“Tony was also very suspicious. Only Tony…Tony wanted to do more than just keep an eye on him.” Steve says, voice dropping low and his eyes going dark at the memory of Tony’s panic, the fear in his eyes as he looked at Bucky laying unconscious as he recovered.

A perceived threat. But to Steve, it was Bucky. His friend and brother. Like hell he was going to let anyone hurt him any more than he’d already been injured.

As Steve can’t fight his anger, with his brow furrowed, you seem to realize suddenly that this must have been what drove your Father and Steve apart. This was what had needed your marriage to bridge the divide in their relationship.

“He wanted to lock him up permanently.” You say, not surprised one bit, but a little disappointed? “Or worse…”

As Steve’s gaze meets yours, you read his eyes like no one else in his life can and realize that Tony had actually tried to do something about it, not simply wanted to.

“What did he do?” You barely manage to say.

“It doesn’t matter. The point is, I fought for Bucky. Nat did too. We were split, though Thor and Bruce weren’t there for the fallout, everyone else was.

“Peter was the only one who managed to balance both sides even though he initially fought with Tony. He realized what this would mean and helped mediate a stop to our quarrel. At least for a while.

“Tony and I didn’t speak again until we arranged a marriage between Morgana and myself with the full intention of having it end before we could ever truly consummate the marriage. That’s where you came in.” Steve sighs, feeling a surge of gratitude for you.

He doesn’t even plan for it to happen, but his voice becomes softer as he reaches out to stroke the curve of your chin. Caressing you whenever he has the chance. How long will you allow him to show you his affections?

He cannot be touching you always, despite his desire to do so. He must maintain some form of decorum in front of his friends and subjects.

However, here in the dimly lit home of your past, he can be as free with his love as he pleases.

You catch his hand and release a held breath, looking appeased and happy to feel the heat of his skin, just as he relishes in yours.

“So, Bucky never showed any signs of mental manipulation until today?” You wonder.

“No. Nothing until today. When nothing happened, we assumed he was fine.” Steve sighs heavily, the weight of his fight with Bucky weighing heavy on his shoulders. Had he missed some sort of clue? Had there been an indicator of what was to come? Had he been blind because of how close he was with Bucky. “It’s been more than two years…”

As if that might ease his strife. It doesn’t. It only makes him worry that maybe there is more to come. What if it isn’t over? What if they’ve turned his friend into someone dangerous permanently?

Steve pulls you a little closer and you shift for him, moving where he wants you. He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you even closer. He isn’t satisfied until you’re right against his side, your hands pressed against his chest where your fingers take to restlessly twitching against the loose threads of his shirt.

He watches you, so grateful that you’re safe. You’re as lost in thought as he is. Reliving the terrible day just as he is, no doubt.

Steve’s arm tightens again, and you look up to meet his eyes. Your own worry seems to dissipate as you see the stress in his.

As much as he loves Bucky. He can’t help but think how close he came to taking you from him today. How easily his life might have changed again. For the worse.

With a small quiet sigh, you reach up towards his cheek and begin to wipe at the smudged dirt there but stop after two swipes, eyes going wide as you stare into Steve’s storm blues.

“What?” Steve asks, seeing the shift in your expression. “What’s the matter?”

“I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t think it was important.” You begin, and Steve can hardly breathe.

“Didn’t tell me what, flower?” He coaxes, adjusting on the bed to sit up a little straighter.

“I…I think I know what happened. What set Bucky off today.” Steve begins to speak but you’re quick to shake your head to silence him and he obeys you, shushing if that is what you wish. “I didn’t think it was real. I was just waking up in the carriage when I saw it. I was drifting in and out, but I found it odd and even asked father about it.”

Steve’s impatience begins to prod at him, but he bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself quiet for you.

“Now that I think about it, I didn’t see him any other time except for that moment.” You shake your head, shutting your eyes as you struggle to pull the image together in your mind it looks like, so Steve reaches up to cup your cheek.

“Tell me.” He pleads gently, forced but willing.

When you meet his eyes again, he can see the terror there but also the absolute certainty.

“I saw Lord Pierce across the square, getting out of a carriage. Bucky was there with him. Looking upset, I think. Then Lord Pierce leaned in and whispered something into Bucky’s ear.

“He went a little stiff, his face went blank, but then I must have gone under for a moment and when I opened my eyes, Bucky was gone. Lord Pierce was gone too.

“Even then, my heart was racing. I knew that what I saw wasn’t good, but I could have been dreaming it. And when I asked father if Lord Pierce was in attendance at the procession, he said that he wasn’t. That he’d made sure to exclude him purposely. So, I put it out of my mind.”

Steve’s hands are claws against your back, the rage within him is nearly choking. He wants to scream. To destroy. If he weren’t injured, he might have even torn your house apart with his bare hands.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, he assumes because you can feel his upset.

“No.” He manages to say, voice deep and quaking with his anger. “No, Y/N. You did right to tell me now. I don’t blame you.”

“But I should have said something.” You fret.

Steve looks down at your belly, the agony of almost having lost both of you today eats at him and helps calm him. It levels him out and he breathes in slowly, then releases the breath but pulls you to him in a soft embrace.

“You’re safe.” He shuts his eyes, really letting himself feel you there in his arms. He trails one hand down to rest on your stomach, tracing the shape of the small curve. “You both are. That’s all that matters.”

“What does this mean for the kingdom? For Lord Pierce? For Bucky?” You ask him, looking to him for a response to this new crisis.

Steve doesn’t often feel as if he is a king with people who depend on him.

Though he knows that he does indeed have a responsibility to his people, he doesn’t often feel as if he’s looked on for leadership. Those moments when someone is truly waiting for him to make a decision.

In your eyes he sees devotion and respect. He sees a genuine intention to follow. And yet he knows that even with this willingness, you would easily disagree with him if you felt it were important.

Everyday you are proving to him that you are not only the woman he loves, but the Queen he has needed at his side.

With you beside him, he truly feels as though he could rule his Kingdom with confidence, with grace, and with a will to do better. For you. For his son. And for all of the people who depend on him.

“I will issue a warrant for his arrest.” Steve declares, confident in his decision. “I will state his crimes clearly so that everyone may see what a snake he is. It will ruin his name and he will have no choice but to either turn himself in for trial or run.”

“What if he runs?”

“Then we will follow.” He nods. “He’ll pay for what he did to Bucky. He’ll pay for what he’s done to you.”

You lift your chin, filled with what he hopes is belief that he can do it. That he can bring Pierce to his knees.

“No one hurts my family and gets away with it.” Steve declares. “No one.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you doing?!” Natasha shouts, shoving herself between Tony and Bucky, fully intent on punching if the need should arise.

The beautiful pale stones of Tony’s castle are a stark contrast to the horrors on the bed behind her.

Natasha glances back at Bucky, wary of the amount of blood he’s losing from the countless wounds to his torso.

What tortures her further is the knowledge that she was the one that put three of those stabs into his side.

She’d been careful to avoid his most sensitive spots, but after he’d woken up on the way home, he’d tried to fight his way out.

It took a hard hit from Tony to the back of the head to knock him out completely and he hasn’t woken up since.

“I need to remove the metal of his arm.” Tony replies exasperated with Natasha’s meddling.

“I needs to wait.” She says.

“It can’t. Bruce said I need to remove it immediately. He’ll have to treat that wound too to prevent infection.

Natasha licks her lips, her green eyes blazing with fear.

“Nat…Let me fix him.” Tony pleads.

“I don’t trust you.” Nat replies, brow crinkling with distrust.

“I know.” And Tony can’t blame her. He’d made a bad impression the first time Bucky had shown up altered. Now here is the results of what he’d always feared but he knows better now about what he’s willing to lose by taking certain precautions.

Bucky is irreplaceable to Natasha and Steve. He must respect that if he’s going to keep not only you but the team in his life.

“But you have to.” Tony argues, holding his hands out for her, his tools held tight as he waits for her to move.

Natasha turns around to look at Bucky once more, her face contorted with indecision and grief and reluctantly moves aside.

Tony lunges for Bucky and works quickly on his arm while Natasha cuts away Bucky’s clothing to tend to his other various wounds.

~~~~~~~~~~

“He’s stable for now.” Bruce declares, wrapping up Bucky’s arm recess where before there’d been shredded metal.

“Will he wake?” Tony asks, trying to keep his voice down for Natasha’s sake.

She’s only just fallen asleep, sitting in a large cushioned chair with a high back. Her hand firmly wrapped around Bucky’s scuffed up right hand.

“What did you give her?” Bruce asks, ignoring Tony’s question for a moment as he also looks to Nat to see her sleeping so peacefully.

“Just one of Agatha’s herbs. She’s a witch with herbs.”

“Or just a witch.” Bruce says quietly, fixing Tony with a wary look.

“I’ve been thinking so too. But she’s devoted to keeping Y/N safe so she’s a good one, as far as I’m concerned.” Tony moves to the wall to pull the call. Somewhere in the castle, he’s sure a bell rings.

“She’s going to be upset when she wakes.” Bruce points out.

“She needs the rest. Thor, Clint, and Peter are out searching. Sam has gone back to Broklin in case they head that way.” Tony assures his friend. “We’ll find them.”

“Y/N is going to be upset that you’ve got Sharon helping Samuel.” Bruce teases, a small awkward smile playing on his lips.

“She’ll deal with it. Finding them is most important right now. Not jealousy.” Tony argues.

Bruce huffs a small laugh, turning to seal Bucky’s bandage before checking on the wounds that Nat had tended to just to be sure they were sealed well.

“You are aware that Sharon snuck into Steve’s room to try and seduce him, and your daughter caught them in bed together, right?” Bruce asks, turning a knowing look to his friend.

Tony blinks, hands clasped at his front before he begins to fix his shirt.

“I am now.” Tony admits. “I’m sure she didn’t let them get away with it. And they seem fine now.”

Mind racing with what might have happened after finding Steve and Sharon like that, he resolves to give Steve a scolding when he sees him.

When. He will find you both if it’s the last thing he does.

“Where are you going?” Steve asks, voice groggy from sleep.

You’re uncurling from his side, moving to his removed tunic to rifle along the front at his expensive baubles and medals.

“To get us some food and something less conspicuous to wear. We don’t know if we’re being pursued. We must lay low.”

“And going into the village to buy things isn’t the opposite of laying low?” Steve asks.

You shake your head. “I’ll only be half an hour and I know the people here. They won’t hurt me.”

Most of them…

“Let me go.” Steve begins to get up, but you frown when he groans.

“No.” You insist, moving to him with a handful of jewels and silver.

You push him back down onto the bed and fix the ratty blanket you’d used to use over him.

“Stop arguing with me.” You chastise him. “I’ll be faster. You’re still wounded.”

“I don’t like you going out there alone.” Steve argues.

“Steven, please. Don’t fight me on this. I will be as quick as I possibly can. I’ll be as invisible as I was before I left. You’ll see. No one will pay me any mind. I was an insignificant orphan. No one will care that I’m here.” You assure him.

“You’re Queen of Broklin.” Steve argues. “And you look like her now, whatever you may think. You don’t look like the girl that came to my castle nearly a year ago.”

“What do I look like then?” You wonder, stripping off your dress before pulling on an old ratty set that you’d had here in the house from before.

It’s thin and meant for summer. Does little to shield the cold but it’s better than your regal, however torn up it might be, gown.

“Even in that you look like an angel.” Steve says.

You can’t help it. You laugh.

“Don’t you think you’re a little biased?” You ask him.

He frowns at you.

“Steve, I’ll be fine.” You move back to him and he welcomes you despite the terrible clothes you’re wearing.

He pulls you in suddenly, no warning as he kisses you hard.

You gasp, hands tense on his shoulders as his lips crush yours painfully.

When he pulls away, he does so slowly, his kiss shifting into tenderness.

“What-?”

“Please be cautious. Don’t talk to anyone that you don’t have to. Turn my cloak inside out and take it. I will not have you and our child freezing.” He worries.

“Why weren’t you this annoying when we first got married?” You tease him and he shuts his eyes, head falling forward to rest against your chest.

You chuckle and stroke his dirty hair, smoothing it out despite the blood and grime still caked into it.

“Please be safe.” He begs, looking up at you again. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you, Y/N.”

“You’d go on. Because you’re strong. And you have a whole Kingdom that depends on you.”

Steve sighs. “I don’t want to be rational. I’d gladly follow you into the end.”

“Then I guess I’d better not meet my end.” You decide.

Getting up, you move to his cloak and turn it inside out as he wished. It’s plain gray on the underside. Still a fine fabric but less ostentatious in its stitching. It makes it much warmer in this clothing and it smells like Steve still.

“Stay quiet.” You tell him, then pick up his shield and put it beside him. “I’ll be right back.”

You slip out into the early morning freeze. The wheat fields are barren and give you no cover as you trek across the cold semi-frozen mud. It sticks to your shoes, much too nice for the plain peasant dress you’re wearing but with the cloak they’re somewhat hidden.

You’re tired by the time you reach the edge of the village and take shelter in the smithy’s doorway. He’s already open, an older man who had tried his best to ignore your hunger plight often. Many of the wealthier villagers had made the very conscious decision to pretend you didn’t exist.

You can’t blame them. You were a child in need of care and many of them, though richer than you, still struggled to make ends meet. They had no way of caring for a whole other mouth to feed.

He’s working inside, too busy making his living to care that you’re resting on his doorstep.

It takes you fifteen minutes to walk across the village make your purchase with only a somewhat lingering look from the tailor who must be the only one to notice your absence in the village as you’d always been a bit of a pain to.

You had offered to mend clothing at a cheaper cost and so stole most of her mending business.

“Haven’t seen you around here.” She states, wrapping up your new dress and the clothing and shoes you’ve purchased for Steve.

“I’ve been travelling.” You say quickly. Offering no further explanation.

“You look different.” She says, pushing the parcel over the counter towards you.

Fucking Steve.

“Do I?” You take the package and throw a silver pin on the counter worth six times as much as she’s charging you for the clothes.

Her eyes go wide at the sight, but you don’t wait for her to say anything and instead leave as quickly as you entered.

You buy some food from the bake, just something to tide you both over until you can go hunt something up and pay with a small ruby.

You’re gone before he can respond to the payment.

With both errands out of the way, you make your way back towards your cottage, eager to be back by Steve’s side.

Your trek is quick across the barren fields, pace increasing the closer you get.

It’s just beyond this slope, beyond the windmill.

As you curve around it, smile stretching your lips, you gasp as a large stocky man blocks your way.

Your free hand drops to your stomach protectively as your eyes take in the only threat to you in this village.

“Well, hello, hello, hello. If it ain’t tha little mouse.” He says.

As you take in his pale skin, a messy array of vibrant red curls on his head, your mind provides you with several excruciating memories of his large beefy body pinning you against the tavern wall. His hands tearing away at your clothing. Ripping your skin as angry tears stained your cheeks.

Both times you’d been able to fight him off. You’d been lucky.

As he devours you with his eyes, you can see the wheels in his mind turning.

“You’ve been gone a long time, little mouse.” He grins. “I’ve missed you.”

[jonahlovescoffee]

Hi! I hope you are well : ) So, I was trying to think of an idea and then I saw the title on your blog - loving can hurt sometimes- and that kind of gave me an idea...Maybe one of the wdw boys is in a relationship with the reader, y/n, and they hit a rough patch and things are kind of hanging on a thread. Neither of them know whether it's going to work out. Hope this inspires you! I'll send some more if I can think of something.

Grey | J.M.

a/n: @randomlimelightxxx thanks so much for sending in an ask <33333 and I’m sorry for replying to it this late :( i love love love your idea!!! but i hope u don’t mind if i make it a little sadder (◐‿◑) whoops. 

(ps: this turned out worse than i hoped but i do hope you like it)

summary: a happy ending isn’t always guaranteed, even when you love someone with every fibre of your being, because life isn’t a fairytale.

warnings: angst

word count: 2517

“i can’t believe i let you go.”

Jonah doesn’t know for sure how long he has been staring at the framed photograph that has been hanging on the living room wall for as long as he can remember. It was taken during one of the few 4th of July celebrations that you both had celebrated together. In the picture, your smile was brighter than ever, even brighter than the fireworks that were bursting through the dark night behind you, fiery blooms amongst the stars. He had an arm around your shoulders, his green orbs looking at you lovingly as you took the selfie.

Both of you seemed so happy back then—something you both hadn’t felt in a long time, even before your dramatic fallout. You were going strong, weren’t you? Both of you used to be the poster children of the perfect couple — you had each other backs and lifted each other up when the going got tough, which led you to believe that nothing could ever come between the two of you.

But life did. When his career started to blow up, your relationship with him did too.

Every time he closes his eyes; the vivid memory of the horrible night months ago starts to play before him like a movie.

#

“Jonah Marais Roth Frantzich, have you been drinking again?” You tore your eyes away from the TV and directed it towards him instead when you heard the sound of the door opening then closing, followed by the rattling of keys as he threw it into the small box beside the door. The stench of alcohol filled your apartment almost immediately, indicating that he had a heavy intake of whatever alcoholic drink he consumed at the party.

He didn’t answer, or even bat an eye at you as he made his way into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Your lips pressed into a thin line as your blood boiled upon being ignored by him. You glanced at the clock. It was nearly 3am. This was the latest he had ever been home after attending a party, which was something he had been doing almost every day lately.

You hated his new habit of getting absolutely wrecked after every party, and he knew that too. He also knew that you hated him getting too friendly with the alluring LA models that were up to no good, as much as you hated him spending most of his time on his job, resulting with him neglecting you far too often for your liking, until you guys were basically nothing more than strangers living under the same roof.

He knew many things, but he never cared, because those were the requirements of his job — to constantly socialize and make music — so he thought that you’ll understand but from the look of the annoyed scowl on your face, that didn’t seem to be the case tonight.

“Jonah, answer me,” you ordered sternly from where you sat on the couch in the living room.

He didn’t know whether if it’s the fault of the alcohol that was coursing through his veins or the fact that both of you hadn’t really talked in days (maybe months) had started to drive him over the edge, but he found your displeasure oddly infuriating, although he knew you were merely looking out for him.

You are his girlfriend, not his fucking mother. 

“Yes, not that it’s any of your business,” he seethed and you seemed taken aback by his reply. At least that’ll shut you up for now.

He placed the cup into the sink with a greater force than he intended before leaving the kitchen to head towards the master bedroom, trying his best to ignore your accusing glare that was still boring into his back and hold back the rest of the harsh words that was threatening to spill out of his mouth.

He knew he was drunk and he didn’t want to say anything that he would regret later in the morning so staying silent was currently the best option. Everything would return to normal the next day once you forgot about this, like you always had for the past few weeks. The tension would be gone and you both would return to playing the role of a lovey-dovey couple that, unbeknownst to others, barely talked in what felt like forever.

But you had other plans. You weren’t letting this matter go this easily. This had been going on for too long. You had enough of his immature behaviour that was gradually driving a wedge between the two of you. You wanted -- no, needed -- this to stop right now, for his own good and yours.

You wanted the old Jonah back -- the Jonah who’d walk to the ends of the world for you, who’d join you in bed at night to ask about your day and who’d put you as his first priority. You walked briskly towards him and captured his wrist in your hand.

“I’m your girlfriend, Jonah, and I have the right to hold you accountable for your dumb actions,” you purposely emphasized on the three words that you knew would get on his nerves. You wanted him to talk, to explain why he was suddenly so obsessed with getting drunk. Was he stressed? Was something bothering him? 

Once again, you received no answer from him.

“Drinking is bad for your health, Jonah,” you softened your tone, just by a little. “And you barely get enough sleep recently, it’s--”

“Just shut up for once, can you?” He jerked your hand away. “Always ‘Jonah don’t do this’, ‘Jonah don’t do that’ like I am some kind of dumb baby that needs help. Just so you know, I’m a grown man who is perfectly capable of making my own decisions, mind you.”

This was the first time Jonah had ever raised his voice at you. You tried not to let his words get to you, you tried to convince yourself that it was the alcohol talking for him but tears ended up welling up in your eyes anyways. You held them back as you continued to speak. 

“I was just trying to advise—”

“I said shut the fuck up! Even if I do need help, I won’t be asking it from the likes of you!” Before you could react, the glass vase that was once placed beside the TV went flying against the wall behind you, shattering into a million pieces.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Jonah?” You cried out, your hands fisting the front material of his shirt. “What the heck was that for?”

“Get off me, you psycho!” he pried your hands off him and pushed you away forcefully, making you stumble backwards and fall to the ground due to your loss of footing.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks uncontrollably now. “You’ve changed. The old Jonah will never do this to me,” you stood up, wiping off your tears with the back of your hand.

“Maybe it’s because you don’t know me well enough.”

“You know what?” You were jabbing your finger on his chest. “If this is the real you, maybe I shouldn’t have dated you in the first place,” you shouted at him.

“Fine, don’t date me then! Maybe I finally can live a lot more freely without your constant nagging!”

Your breathing stopped for a moment and you swore his did too. Silence ensued, the only sound being the tv that you forgot to turn off before the fight.

Shit. He said too much.

When you finally came back to your senses, you pushed pass him to make your way into the bedroom, pulling out your luggage and set it open on the bed.

“You should’ve told me earlier that you didn’t want me in your life,” you said breathlessly as you proceeded to dump all your clothes into your luggage before slamming it shut, ignoring his pleas for you to stop.

“No, baby, I don’t mean what I said,” he grabbed your arm and you flinched at his touch. That was how he knew he messed up. Badly. “Let’s just forget—”

“I’m so done with always sweeping our problems under the carpet and pretend like they don’t exist, Jonah!” You yelled frustratedly. “Let me ask you, when was the last time we had a heart-to-heart talk, Jonah? When was the last time we had a peaceful meal together without arguing? When was the last time we actually spent quality time together?”

He couldn’t answer any of your questions.

“Can’t you see it? We haven’t been a couple for quite a while now,” you explained, pulling your closed luggage out of the room towards the front door, not forgetting to pick up your purse along the way. “What happened just now was just one more sign that we,” you gestured between the both of you, “are not meant for each other so maybe it’s for the best if we break up.”

“No, please, no,” he fell to his knees before you, his hands moving to grasp your arm. “Don’t go. I’m sorry. Please.”

“I’m not wasting any second more of my life with you,” you spat mercilessly in his face. “Now let go.”

“No, please, stay with me, baby,” he continued to beg, the grip on your hand unfaltering.

“I’m sorry,” you said and felt his grip loosen at the two simple words. He knew there was no point in holding on once you already made up your mind. “Goodbye, Jonah.”

You yanked your arm away and walked out the door, not looking back, leaving a distressed male behind, in tears.

Yes, Jonah remembers everything from that night, especially the slam of the door behind you as you walked out of his apartment and his life, forever.

And he is the one to blame.

#

Fast forward to the present, he misses you so much that he is starting to lose his mind.

He thinks about you so often that sometimes he forgets that you aren’t his anymore. He still finds himself reaching out to what used to be your side of the bed the first thing in the morning, only to find it cold and empty; he still looks forward to coming home from work every day to run into your arms that used to be his safe haven, only to be reminded by his quiet house that your laughter, your kisses, your touches are luxuries that he can no longer afford, no matter how wealthy he is.

You gave him a chance—scratch that, you have kind-heartedly given him countless chances in the past for him to make up for his mistakes, to prove to you that loving him was worth all the suffering, but all he did was disappoint you over and over again by choosing to walk away from you when his career was at stake.

It wasn’t until you were gone that he noticed all those valuable chances that have unknowingly passed him by.

He runs a hand through his hair and heaves a sigh, throwing his head back so that he is mindlessly staring at the ceiling.

He was cowardly fool, for putting his needs above the person who he swore to love till the end of time, for giving up when he should’ve fought a little harder to preserve what’s left of their love, for doing nothing as the distance between them grew by leaps and bounds until you eventually slipped out of his grasp into nothingness.

Most importantly, he was the world’s biggest idiot to ever think that he can live without you.

He knows that he should stop missing you; he knows that he should forget the past, or at least lock all the fond memories he had built with you into a box and shove it into the darkest, deepest corners of his mind, not to be opened ever again; he knows that he should move on, like you already did.

But “I know” and “I can” are two completely different things. Yes, he is terribly exhausted from holding onto the past, holding onto you, even as he feels the remaining shred of hope that you might one day return to him slowly diminish as days passed but at the same time, he is still too in love to let you go.

Therefore, for what seems like the thousandth time that month, he pulls out his phone from his pocket, and dials your number that is still marked as favourites in his contact list. As expected, the call goes to voicemail right away, after your recorded voice says, “Sorry, I can’t come to the phone at the moment but feel free to leave a message instead!” in a cheerful tone, as if you are mocking him for not being able to talk with you like he used to anymore.

After the beep, Jonah hesitates a moment before opening his mouth to speak, but no words escape. He has no idea where to start. He knows a simple ‘sorry’ isn’t going to fix everything, for the pain you had endured because of him is definitely not worth to be forgiven with a simple two-syllable-word. He contemplates if he should end the call, like what he has done for the past thousand times.

No, he has spent too much time dwelling in his misery without making any effort to win you back It’s about time he at least tries to start a proper conversation with you because even if you don’t reciprocate his feelings, you still deserve an apology from him.

“Hi,” he breathed nervously. “How are you? I know I should not be trying to contact you after what I did to you that night but,”

A pause.

“It’s not the same here without you, y/n. I miss your cooking, your terrible singing voice, your hilarious pep talks – hell, I even miss your long boring lectures whenever I forgot to wash the dishes,” he smiles a little at the memory.

“And I’m sorry, I really am, for ruining everything. I know it’s not enough but it’s true. Not a day passes where I don’t regret what I did to you that night and all the mistakes that I’ve made before that.”

“Please baby, give me one more chance to make it right. Just one more, please. Come back, be here with me because,” another pause.

He searches his brain for the right words to say, rubbing his temples with his fingers as his mind whirs.

Because of you, his life used to be filled with endless love and laughter. Your love was like the warm daylight, illuminating his world in golden, chasing away all the darkness. You painted his life with the vibrant colors of the rainbow whereas now that you’re gone, everyday it rains, the previous sunshine you provided long gone. He should’ve never let you go. With a swipe of his tongue over his trembling dry lips, he finishes his sentence before he decides to chicken out.

“Because I still love you. Without you, now everything’s grey.”

[asking-peterpan]

Awake (Chapter 1)

Here is the first chapter of my first novel length fan fiction. If you want to stay up to date, please show support through Wattpad. Enjoy!

Next

I was surrounded by darkness. Nothingness, to be more precise. For a moment, it felt as though all my senses were paralyzed. I was falling, but not in the sense of having fallen from a great height. It was the feeling of falling while you're asleep and then suddenly jerking yourself awake. There was a flash of light and suddenly I could feel again.

My eyes shot open as I took in a sharp and exaggerated breath. I had awoken, but somewhere unfamiliar. The ground I laid on was damp and cold. I grasped handfuls of earth in my palms and allowed the soil to crumble between my fingers. An array of tropical trees clouded the night sky. They were a lush green. The kind of green that you only see in photographs. The trees swayed lazily, as the breeze tousled their leaves. The sky was littered with more stars than I had ever seen before. It was other worldly, beautiful. There were two stars that stuck out more prominently than the others. One was rather large and shined brighter that the rest. The second was placed a little bit below and to the right of the first. While slightly smaller, the second star shined almost as brightly as the first.

I turned to my side, as the sound of a music pipe had caught my attention. The jungle filled my ears with an array of noises, from the whistle of the wind to the ocean waves crashing violently on shore. Despite this stimulation, my ears acutely tuned into the sound of the pipe's music. The melody was mesmerizing, almost hypnotic. Before I could decide to pursue the source of the sound, I felt my body put itself on it's feet.

It was an odd feeling, but somehow this place felt so unfamiliar but like home at the same time. Unfamiliar in the sense of never having been in the midst of any sort of jungle before. Familiar in the way that I felt connected to wherever I was. I wasn't alarmed by my surroundings. I was at peace.

I continued to walk through the dark jungle, carefully following the sound of the pipe. The damp earth packed itself to my bare feet and the wind flowed through my messy blonde hair. As I pushed onward, I tried to make sense of how I ended up in such a place. I argued to myself that this was simply a dream. The idea didn't sound too far off from reality. I was familiar with being lucid while asleep, but this was different. My surroundings were too vivid to be just a dream. But wherever this place was, it wasn't part of the world that I was familiar with. There was a quality that I couldn't describe. It was just something that needed to be felt.

In the distance, a small wavering light began to form through the mess of trees. There were figures that moved erratically around the glowing light. As I approached, I slowed my pace and hid myself behind a bush. The light was a large fire that moved violently as the wind blew. The figures were mostly hooded or masked and danced expressively around the fire. They held batons that they hit together to make a sort of tribal rhythm. Occasionally they would shout and holler incomprehensible noises into the darkness.

One of the figures stood out among the rest. He was not hooded or masked. He was dressed in emerald green, but his shoulders were adorned with a deep red cloak that tied at the front. He was noticeably taller than most of the other figures and had messy brown hair that gently swept itself across the top of his forehead. His lips were pressed gently to the pipe which played the sweet melody that drew me in. I only caught quick glimpses of his eyes. They were a piercing shade of green. The same unimaginable green of the trees. He moved steadily between the hooded figures that danced in circles around the fire. It was clear that he was the leader of whoever these people were. The alpha.

I took in the scene before me, unsure of what to do next. But before I could make a decision, the choice was already made for me. The sweet music of the pipe had abruptly stopped and so did the shouts of the hooded figures. The silence was deafening, aside from the low crackle of the fire. I felt the figures staring right at the shrub I was crouched behind. There was a moment of quiet before a harsh voice spoke.

"Come out," the voice commanded. It was the piper.

My heartbeat quickened, but I obliged to his request. I stood upright and faced the figures before me. They were no longer hooded or masked, which allowed me to better examine their features. One was around the same height as the piper. He was lanky with narrow features and dirty blonde hair that was decorated with a brown feather. His right hand firmly gripped a large club. Beside him was a slightly shorter boy with dark features. His eyes were a muddy brown and his hair darker than midnight. He had a thin scar pressed into his left cheek. I averted my eyes to the next boy quickly, attempting not to stare at the scar for too long. This one must have been the youngest. He was smaller than the rest and appeared much more innocent. Behind him were two more boys that seemed identical. They both had curly dark brown hair and steel grey eyes. They were of average height and build. The only noticeable difference between the two was their demeanor. Without saying a word, I could tell that one was an optimist while the other was a pessimist. It was like yin and yang.

Despite the clear physical differences between the boys that stood before me, they all held the same expressions. One of shock and confusion. I wasn't sure how to proceed.

"A girl?" the boy with dark features questioned, but he wasn't acknowledged.

"Come forward," the piper commanded again. His eyes were steady on mine and I obliged to holding his gaze.

I approached the group of boys, but kept a measurable amount of distance between them and myself. If this was a dream, then I had nothing to fear. But this couldn't be a dream, and yet I felt fearless. I breathed in deeply, letting my chest smoothly rise and fall. I would let the piper lead.

"Name?" he spits.

"Luna," I announce. The boys begin to whisper amongst themselves, but the piper quickly addresses them.

"Quiet," he snaps. They obey. He returns his attention to me. "Full name?"

"Luna Cameron. Who are you?" I question.

"Pan," he responds roughly.

"Full name?" I ask daringly. Within the blink of an eye, the piper had disappeared and reappeared directly in front of me. He firmly gripped my chin with his hand and examined my features. I didn't flinch or attempt to break away from him. The piper's eyes were even more ravenous than I noticed before. He tilted his head, adjusting his gaze from my rosey pink lips to my pale blue eyes. His lips curled into the slightest hint of a smirk.

"You will call me Pan," he sharply states. He lets go of my chin, but does not ease his gaze.

"Fine," I agree with a small smile and raised brows.

Pan examined my features for a moment longer, lightly biting his lower lip while doing so. I mirrored his movements and took his presence in as fully as I could before he turned and walked back towards the other boys.

"Rufio," Pan barked. The boy with dark features perked up. "You're in charge of the girl. Lay it all out for her."

"Yes Pan," Rufio complied. I wasn't too keen on spending time alone with a strange boy in such an unfamiliar place, but it didn't seem like I had any other options.

"The rest of you," Pan addressed the others, "off to bed." There was a low groan amongst the boys, but Pan was quick to silence them. "Now," he commanded. The boys walked off into the lush green forest, and were soon out of sight.

Pan turned and addressed Rufio one last time. "Make sure she stays out of trouble," he said while keeping his eyes on me. What was that supposed to mean? I wanted to question him, but Pan was gone before I had the chance to open my mouth. Instead, I let out a deep sigh and switched my focus to Rufio.

"Is he always that intense?" I asked, cracking a smile.

"Yeah," Rufio laughed lightly. "Pan can be a lot to handle, but he always has our best interest in mind."

I look to Rufio and nod in amusement. There was something about Pan's presence that both drew me in and frustrated me at the same time. I wasn't sure of what it was exactly, but that was something to figure out later. "So are you going to tell me what all this is?" I asked, gesturing to the jungle surrounding us.

"Those were Pan's orders, so yes," he agreed.

[g--r-e--e-n]

Of herbs and riddles Pt.1

Pairing: GN! MC x Satan.

Content: Fantasy AU for Obey me! MAX that was supposed to be posted as a whole but I can't fully finish it on time so at least have this :')

Warnings: It says hell at some point but I'm not sure if that's a swearword. Pretty sure anything else is not worrying, please tell me if you think otherwise so I can properly tag any sort of danger away!

(Edit: Apparently says "hell" several times. Sue me or something, I'm already crying either way.)

"Good morning, sir!" You cheerfully welcomed the young man crossing your apothecary's door. "How may I help you?"

He smiles softly, reaching the counter and looking you with the most beautiful piercing eyes you had ever seen.

"Good morning to you too." The man greets elegantly, his golden hair reflecting the candlelight filling your modest shop, the morning sun still to weak to allow the flames to die as they had been made to. By his clothes and the softness of his long and slender fingers, you soon understood he was one of those few big fishes passing by this small pound that your village is. "My dear brother has gained quite a wicked heartburn after a rather copious dinner. I was hoping you would have some remedy for his condition."

"Sure thing, sir!" You gladly answered. You loved your work as much as it was possible, and having such an interesting customer was definitely a plus, specially since foreigners were known for their generous tips. "Let me see..."

You begin wandering around your store, the magic candles now dying to let the soft sun come through the window.

The young blonde man stared quietly at you, following you quietly and looking over your shoulder towards the dried leaves and small bottles. He had seen many in his books, old as time itself, yet memorizing all of them would've been imposible within a mortal lifetime. However, instead of jealous, he felt mesmerized. There were little things he admired as much as knowledge, and you were filled with it.

Getting his head our from those thoughts, you turned around with some little bags.

"Give him a cup of chamomile tea and root of Ginger, he shall be fine sooner than a cock sings. If he's not, come over again and I'll give you a special bred of tea I'm working on." You started walking towards the counter again, closely followed by your customer and the smell of the herbs. "Giving him something to chew on rather than eat could help him too, if you feel on a rush."

"Thank you" He absentmindedly replied, the jewels in his eyes lost in the little bags you handed over, a slight hope blossoming in your chest. He said nothing about being unable to come again, so perhaps he was a newcomer rather than a traveler. "How much?"

"Two pieces for the root, the rest is on the house" you replied, keeping your smile as you handed the goods over. "After all, you're new here, aren't you?"

Your client stared at you, taking the plants and handing you the money ever so graciously you felt like you had met an angel. Four coins weighted down your hand.

"That we are." He softly said, a smile to his face. "My older brother came for a gig, he was the main wizard in the neighboring village, but he soon fell in love with this land of yours and made all of us tag along."

There was something this guy wasn't telling you, you just knew.

"Are you a wizard too, sir?"

"Not quite. I'm just a librarian." He vaguely answered, shrugging. "And I better get home before my brothers begin to grief me."

You let go a soft laugh, as he flashed you another of his smiles, turning his back to you, hand waving in the air as his silhouette.

"Wait!" You stopped him. You needed his name, something, anything, and you didn't even know why.

"Yes..?"

"... Don't let him drink milk. Makes it worse."

He laughed a bit, saying something you didn't quite want to hear, too embarrassed. What the hell had just happened?

You sighed, trying your best to keep on working, sorting your material and attending the folk with a smile brighter than the sun itself.

You had made yourself a name thanks to your knowledge, being one of the few fools to dedicate your life to science when magic was a thing. Nobody would've betted anything on you, but here you were, healing people better than any witch ever could, knowing by heart every plant that grew around your hometown.

It had been hard, but you felt like you were living a good life. You felt happy with your own situation, and after the librarian's visit, you could barely keep your heart from bouncing in excitement, hoping to meet him again.

Your chance, of course, took you fully by surprise, way sooner than expected.

It had been four days, and you were about to close after a pretty exhausting day of work when the librarian entered the place, any complains dying on your throat at the sight of his worry.

"Good evening sir, are you alright? Is it your brother again?"

You walked over to him, concern painted all over your face, but not daring to invade his personal space.

"No. Yes. What you gave me last time worked marvelously. It's not that." He sighed, closing his eyes for a second. You could see the dark skin under them. "It's other brother, actually. He's a reckless young man, and got himself in a fight. His condition is not serious, but he keeps on complaining about the scars that might be left in his face. Do you think you could help him?"

Oh. So his brother was that one idiot that tried to get away without paying from the butcher. God, you hoped he wasn't too bad.

"Yes, sure, one second." You nod before looking from plants again, his gaze fixed upon them as last time, making you somehow nervous. Perhaps a little conversation could help, while you grab the herbs. "So... Have you been sleeping fine, sir? You seem rather tired to me."

You slowly turn around, some bottles resting in your arms, softly clinking against each other as you walked towards the counter.

"I'm reading a book full of riddles." He admitted, feeling oddly at ease withing your little shop. "This far I've solved them all, yet there's one that I can't quite lay my finger on."

You start mixing substances, peeling carefully some aloe.

"Well, why don't you tell me the riddle? Maybe I can help you out."

The librarian stared at you in disbelief. Did you really think you could solve something he didn't?

Of course, he didn't really want to refuse, and would much rather see you fail by yourself.

"Sure thing" he says with a smile, his eyes shining dangerously. "I am valued by men, fetched from afar, Gleaned on the hill-slopes, gathered in groves,

In dale and on down.

All day through the air,

Wings bore me aloft, and brought me with cunning

Safe under roof.

Men steeped me in vats.

Now I have power to pummel and bind,

To cast to the earth, old man and young.

Soon he shall find who reaches to seize me,

Pits force against force, that he's flat on the ground,

Stripped of his strength if he cease not his folly,

Loud in his speech, but of power despoiled

To manage his mind, his hands or his feet.

Now ask me my name, who can bind men on earth,

And lay fools low in the light of day."

You rise an eyebrow, sealing mixing your little beverage with as much energy as you could gather.

"Sir, you must be kidding me. How could not figure that out?" You questioned, staring at the liquid to check it's colour and quality. "It's mead. Honey mead, they make some at the monastery up the hill. At times I use it to make some of my beverages taste nice, it makes any biter taste disappear."

The librarian blinks a couple times. He had thought wine to be the answer, which apparently was a close call, but whatever you were talking about didn't really ring a bell.

"It's an alcoholic beverage, right?

"Never tried it?" You were rather surprised, really. He looked like a fine man, one of those who would attend hundreds of fancy dinners. How can he not know his liquors?.

"My brothers don't like me drinking." He admits, a defeated smile to his soft lips. "I pretty much stick to tea most of the time."

"At least it's healthy!" You smile at hin, handing the mix. "Here you go, sir. It's oily and a bit thick, the onion extract might itch a bit, but worry not, it'll work perfectly. Rub it against any mark your brother might have left and it will soon be gone. If the mark happens to be darker than his skin, cut a lemon in two and rub it against the wound."

"Thank you." The blonde man smiled cheerfully, your conversation very obviously pleasing him. You had no idea how close he was to ripping the book's pages apart because of that damn riddle. "How much?"

"Two coins shall suffice, sir!" You handed him your gooey mix, receiving five whole coins in exchange. Your eyes wide . "Sir, I beg your pardon, but isn't this a bit too much? You already paid me double last time!"

He shakes his head gently.

"Two for the medicine, two for the riddle, and one for humouring me. What is it but fair?"

He messed up your hair before you could complain, soon heading home to his brothers, leaving the fire grow on your cheeks, too stunned to even close the shop as you were supposed to.

You couldn't help but find yourself hoping to meet him again, waiting for another three days to go by. Your dear librarian, however, took very little time.

In two days, he was already in front of you again, while you attended your neighbor's cuts, not allowing yourself to get your attention from the poor man no matter how handsome your new favorite customer was.

In a few minutes, your neighbor had already paid and waved you goodbye, happy as ever. You couldn't stop yourself from smiling like a fool, loving your job, before finally paying the librarian some attention.

"Good afternoon, sir! How may I help you today?"

"It's one of my brothers" he said, to none of your surprises. Honestly, he must be wasting a fortune in helping them. How many brothers did he even have? "He's been failing asleep during his shift at work, through his studying lessons, and I'm afraid he'll end up sleeping his days away. Would you be able to help me?"

You nood, soon heading to fish some herbs, as always followed by the tall man and his cryptic gaze. You didn't even know his name yet, but something about him felt like meeting an old friend.

"You know, I usually would give you some green tea, but..." You softly smile, pulling something from the bottom of your shelf before facing the young man, showing him your little treasure. "A friend of mine likes to travel. At times, he brings me this to help me whenever I feel tired or sick. I'm not exaggerating when I say it makes miracles! It's called Siberian Gingsen, but you might as well call it the holy grail. Just please remember to keep the dosage small and preferably during mornings, unless you want your brother to stay awake all night. "

Your customer nods, listening closely.

"Your brother does not have any heart issues, does he?" You ask, slightly ridding off your excitement. "We could try something else then."

He softly shakes his head.

"No, don't worry. That little brat is surprisingly healthy seeing as how he spends his days doing nothing." He sighs. As much as he enjoyed Belphegor's company, at times it was a bit worrying. No human should sleep this much without being considered dead. "How much is it?"

You stare at the Gingsen, struggling a bit. You had never thought of actually selling it, but it's not like you needed it anyways, so that's not really a reason to rise the prize. Still, it's an imported good, right?

You sigh, realizing you needed an assistant more than you'd like to, before going back to your default smile.

"Two coins shall suffice, sir!" You gifted him a smile Satan knew he would not forget in some days now. Despite his blush, he handed you four coins. "Sir, please..."

"Two for the remedy. Two for... Going to the fair tomorrow?" His words surprised you, and even if you tried your best to hide it, you were red up to your ears. "I heard from some villagers you don't usually frequent that sort of events, so I really won't mind it if you decline, but... I think we could have a nice time there."

His gentle, genuinely caring tone softly melted your heart, sweet as belladonna and just as dangerous.

You didn't really have a life aside from the shop and, at times, the market. All your free time was spent diving between pages, looking for all the information you could gather, and something in this almost stranger's eyes told you he wasn't really a party kind of person. God, ge didn't even know honey wine.

"Sir, I... I don't even know your name." You mumbled, confused, not used to how blunt this gentleman was, not even moving his eyes, calling yours like light calls a moth.

"Oh. Right." He said, faking surprise, not really willing to admit he liked being called "sir" ever so politely, fairly sure it would ruin the whole mood. "I'm Satan. A pleasure to meet you..."

He expectantly looked at you, and soon you gifted him your name, his new favorite sound.

"And now that you have a name to call me by, will you come to our little date?" He tried his best to sound secure, fearing he already knew the answer. "I'm sorry, I hope I'm not coming off as too strong. I just-"

"No, it's fine. Why not?" You smile as you best can, still nervous, but way too afraid the situation would worse with Satan's lose tongue. "Let's meet tomorrow morning at the fountain, shall we? Usually there's music as early as sunrise, I'm sure you'll adore it."

"Then I'll trust you" he answered, genuinely glad this turned out so nicely. It almost seemed like a dream. "Now, I shall go before that brother of mine falls asleep again."

And just as elegantly as he had entered, he left, his image lingering in your memory for a while.

A date.

You were having a date.

A date with the gorgeous foreigner who just so happened to frequently visit your shop.

A date with Satan.

What the hell.

[detroitbydark]

Crossed Connections: Part VI

Pairing: Tech x Togruta!Reader, Wrecker/OC

Characters: Echo, Ik'aad, Tech

Warnings: None

Summary: Sometimes awkward is cute and sometimes it's just not

Previous Parts and Extended Universe can be found here

------

Y/N glances over at the ARC Trooper perched carefully at the edge of the examination table. He sits stock still, skin as pale as Durosian marble. It is only the near silent whir of the drives in his right arm that let her know he’s more than a statue. Even then, the Techno Union’s wizardry with his prosthetic is so good that she doubts a human ear would pick it up. 

She wants to spit every time someone mentions Wat Tambor’s name.  The socket arm and it’s connections are a marvel of Techno Union know how but it rips at her heart. They’d created such a device, a prosthetic that could offer quality of life to those in need,  only to use it to further progress the Separatist agenda. 

“You’re quiet today” she notes leaning her hip against the counter behind her as she takes him in. Echo is pale still, unnaturally so, but his cheeks aren’t nearly as sallow or as sunken as when he’d first arrived on base. His eyes are brighter, if not guarded. He’s stopped twitching when she touches him.  

Being away from Skako Minor was doing well for him but he needed time and that wasn’t something the GAR was likely to allow. She’d heard whispers of him joining a mission with Clone Force 99 very soon.

 On Coruscant she’d not been immune to talk of clone rights and she was quick to agree with those who spoke out for them. It made her uncomfortable that all her work was only to prepare a newly liberated prisoner of war to be forced right back into the field. Wrecker had tried to explain that this was the life they were, quite literally,  made for. The life they trained for from creation. It didn’t sit right still.

“They refer to you as Ik’aad.”

She cocks her head at the question.  It’s the first thing Echo has said since arriving in her part of the bay for his daily once over.  They’ve been doing this song and dance for nearly a week now. Like any good clone, the healing process was progressing remarkably quick and his injuries were already fading.  Granted those were ones Y/N could see. 

He was sober, quiet, speaking little most days and then without end on others, as if the words had built up during his time in stasis and they had to spill out or risk causing him to implode with the weight of them. 

While he hadn’t offered her many smiles he also didn’t seem to dislike her company. She could work with that. 

His observation though is curious. Of course, she knew who they were. For better or worse she’d earned more than a few looks as information about the Bad Batch had trickled through the base's ranks, and with it her name attached to the unit.

She spent more than enough time with Wrecker for a very specific set of rumors to begin circulating. The thought of the whispers she’d heard the other day in the mess made her cheeks burn. It hadn’t done much for her socially. Her new roommate seemed immune to them though and that was a comfort she was glad to take. The ARC trooper didn’t seem to mind much either, though he had his own bits of gossip that followed him. 

“I suppose they do”

Y/N glances at the bleak reminders of his time under corporate control. The cold, alloy of Techno Union metal sticking out starkly against Echo’s skin.

The neural access ports, unfortunately, had been woven so tightly into the neural pathways of the Arc Troopers brain that there was no way to seperate the two. The ones that had connected his lungs and diaphragm while in stasis were no better. They were to be permanent fixtures. While Echo had joked just the day before that some of his vode would be jealous of the look she had a feeling he was not fond of the modifications.

Rex had been a frequent visitor during his first few days in the medbay, almost constant in his devotion to his vod. Surprisingly, so had some of her other charges. Hunter had stopped by a handful of times and both Wrecker and Crosshair had frequently sat with him to distract while she worked. Today was actually the first day he’d shown up for his treatment and not had an escort. The ARC Trooper had left an impression amongst the Bad Batch and only time would tell if that was a good thing or not. 

Y/N moves slowly to start his vitals. 2-1B, the medical droid was kept on standby when Echo was under her care. She’d discovered early on that too much time under the droids watchful eye and its inability to take things at the troopers pace had a tendency to exacerbate the former POWs anxiety. Y/N was ok working without Too-bee’s assistance and taking a more languid pace if it made her patient comfortable.

“Do you know what it means?”

Y/N glances up at the trooper. “I’ve never thought about it really” she says, turning to gather supplies to clean and redress the few deeper lacerations the ARC trooper still had, places where there had not been enough skin to pull together to suture. 

She makes a small gesture with her fingers and Echo begins peeling his shirt off. It gets hung on the edge of his prosthetic and he struggles for a moment, frustration evident before he takes a deep breath and slowly uncouples it from the alloy. He folds the black shirt neatly and places it atop his armor as Y/N finishes laying out supplies on her work table and rolls it next to his perch. Slipping on gloves, she begins peeling spent bacta patches off, holding the skin taught as she does to ease the tug on his skin. “So, are you going to leave me in suspense or are you going to tell me?”

Echo likes the way she smiles at him. It makes what she does easier. He tries not to flinch as she removes the last patch. 

The engineers, the doctors, Tambor those who’d performed his modifications had looked at him like anything other than a science experiment, a tool, a profit margin. Y/N sees him as a person. She accommodates him. She’s learned quickly his ins and outs and she doesn’t push. She treats him like an individual. And she smiles. She smiles so bright and full that she lights the room, like star shine on a dark night. Her presence soothed him. She made him feel like he had choices and the power to make them.

“Baby. They call you Baby” the first time he’d heard the words slip from Wrecker’s mouth he’d done a double take.  Then he’d heard it from Hunter, and finally, Crosshair. It was a term of endearment he hadn’t heard from a clone before. The way they treated her was soft, even Crosshair who was rough and callous to the other troopers, the Regs, seemed to thaw, if only slightly,  for the little Togruta.

Y/N shrugs, “Hmm?” She hums plopping onto a stool and spinning around a few times before she rolls in front of him and offers him a shining smile, pearly incisiors peeking out. “That’s cute. You gonna call me baby too?” She teases.

Echo feels his cheeks heating. “Could I? Would that be... strange?”

Y/N shrugs again, “I don’t think so” she says motioning toward his bare chest. She takes a piece of bacta soaked gauze and waits for his nod before she begins cleansing the minor lacs and scrapes. Her touch is light as she moves. Echo’s eyes drift shut. Touch was still… touch was something novel and when he was given a bit of softness he was going to soak up every bit he could.

“Ik’aad” he tests the name out. He’s spoken so little Mando’a since his capture that it feels foreign on his tongue, not unpleasant, more like a long forgotten friend he needed to become reacquainted with.

When his eyes open back he’s greeted by an impish grin. “See that’s not so bad.”

He’s not sure if she is talking about the wound care or the nickname. He nods anyway as she pats the areas dry and applies fresh bacta patches, fewer than the day before.

“You know what I’ve got to do now?” She questions softly. 

This he did know and he feels his shoulders tense at the thought. The metal ports implanted along his skull and back had been placed prior to going into stasis. They allowed the Techno Union access to his memory’s as well as a means to keep his respiratory system functional. The skin surrounding the ports had healed but had never had a chance to callous or grow accustomed to the push and pull that movement caused. His freedom and sudden increase in activity had caused sores to develop around the ports themselves, the skin raw and chaffing. The doctors had all been in agreement that with time the skin would toughen and the sores would heal but in the interim it left him uncomfortable and required daily tending.

Y/N- Ik’aad, he corrects mentally, rolls her stool slowly around the exam table, letting her feet flop in front of her and pull herself around. He’s tense but he can’t help the weak tug at the corner of his mouth at her antics, she looks up and catches his eye with a knowing grin.

She stands, forgetting the stool in lieu of a more upright position. “Why do you think they call me Ik’aad?” She asks conversationally, trying out the word for herself,  as one hand falls to his shoulder Her movements allow him to telegraph where here next touch would land.  She did it the same way each time. Top to bottom. Left to right. It bred a sense of familiarity and, on the worst days, gave him points of reference for how long it would take. In the beginning she’d talked him through each step of the process until he’d asked her to stop. Since then she’d tried to distract him. They both knew what she was doing but neither found fault in it so she continued her chit chat and he continued to listen. 

Y/N begins moving a fresh piece of bacta moistened gauze around one port, cleaning the crust and debris that clung to the wound away. Echo tries to focus on her question and not the sting of the antiseptic as the gauze washes away the dried flakes of drainage.

“You’re small” he starts “like, you-could-fit-in-my-pocket-and-go-on-missions tiny”

Y/N giggles as she continues to work, “is that so?”

Echo shrugs, “you’re  kind of adorable too-“

“Not you too! You sound like Wrecker.” she growls playfully, “If you start telling me you want to pinch my cheeks I swear, Echo...” she threatens without any real threat.

“Nothing like that. You’re like- like- “ he looks for a word. He knows there’s one that fits but it eludes him. “I think you just have a way about you that makes them feel...” he shrugs.

“Well if you don’t know what they’re thinking what do you think? How do I make you feel?” It’s an honest question, born of genuine curiosity. Like the clones in the Bad Batch, he kept coming back to see her when any medic, clone or civvie, could do what she was doing.

“You make me feel warm.” He says without hesitation. “For so long everything was so cold, distant and you’re-“ he snaps his fingers and Y/N startles fingers pressing into the flesh where she was beginning to work at the next row of ports. “Vod’ika” he says firmly flinching at the press.

“Translation Echo?”

“Uhh, little sibling. Sister or brother. It’s interchangeable.” He explains. A smile splits his face knowing he’s finally placed the feeling she drew out of him and what he assumed the other as well-

“Y/N?” The question is followed by a sharp knock to the wall nearest the thick curtain that separates the room from the rest of the med bay. 

Echo and Y/N turn toward the familiar voice. Y/N gives him a questioning look and he nods.

“Come on in Tech? Is everything ok?” Y/N places a hand to Echo’s bare shoulder as she tosses the used gauze in a nearby bin. The clone watches curiously as Tech’s helmet, visor flipped up,  flicks ever so slightly from Y/N to where her hand rested than back again.

“I- I didn’t know you were busy. Everything’s fine.” He clarifies quickly. Even modulated, his voice is just a touch higher than Echo is used to. “I just wanted to see- I just thought I’d swing by”

“We were just finishing up” she turns back to Echo and motions to his shirt. “You good to gear back up”. He pulls the blacks on silently as he watches the two.

Tech doesn’t call the medic Ik’aad. It’s the first time Echo’s noticed. He also realizes Tech is rarely around when she is. Echo watches the engineer take a step into the room and again his narrowed eyes flick back to where Echo is seated.

“What can I do for you?” She questions peeling away gloves and turning toward the sink to wash her hands.   Echo notices for the first time something different in the tone of her voice, almost shy.

“Wrecker said” he hesitates “you were getting ready for your FAS cert test?  I came across a study guide that might help, if you want to use it that is?” He asks holding a pocket drive between gloved fingers.

Though he’s the one supposed to be here, Echo suddenly feels as if he’s intruding on something. It’s like watching one of the shinies back in the day at 79’s approach a woman for the first time. It’s a dance with no music and Tech has two left feet. 

Y/N reaches up and toys with the end of a lek as she turns around. “That’s really thoughtful of you.”

Y/N is more quiet, far less verbose than Echo has become accustomed to.

“It really would be helpful. Maybe-“ she pauses. Glancing down, she seems to steal herself before her eyes travel back back up to the other clone “maybe you could help me study?”

The ARC trooper finds himself silently rooting for the other clone. She’d baited the hook and thrown it out there.  The way Tech’s eyes widen behind his goggles and the near panic that flares up is not lost on Echo.

“I’m- I’m really busy actually” Tech spits out quickly. 

Echo cringes as they both seem to deflate. He wonders how neither sees it in the other.

“Oh, ok. That’s- that’s really thoughtful of you.” Color flares in the togrutas cheeks “Again. I already said that didn’t I?” Her hip bumps against her tray table as she moves and she makes a small disgruntled noise as bacta splashes across her tac pants. “Kriff” she curses silently as she looks down and wipes uselessly at the spreading patch of wetness.

There’s towels on a rack along the wall and Echo watches Tech look at them but when he doesn’t move Echo does.

“Here, Ik’aad.” He grabs two and hands her one. Her face is flushed when she looks up. Embarrassed. She gives him a weak smile.

She presses the towel against the wetness soaking into her pants. “Have I told you you’re my favorite patient?”

“No. But I’m glad to hear it” 

Behind him he can hear Tech shift from foot to foot. Echo had given him a chance to come to her aide and he’d dropped the ball. When he glances back he catches Tech’s narrowed eyes. Was that…? No, it couldn’t be-. 

Echo can see the look in the other clones eyes and it isn’t particularly generous. He arches a brow back as Tech drops his visor.

“I’m going to leave this here for you, Y/N” Tech announces looking past Echo and setting the pocket drive down. 

Y/N waves him off. Avoiding eye contact as she balls the towel up and throws it in the hamper.

“Thanks. I’m sure it’ll come in handy.” She says puffing out a frustrated breath through pursed lips. Her attention goes back to Echo. 

“So now that my uniform is soaked, do you have plans for lunch?”

The ARC trooper shrugs, “I hadn’t planned anything. I’ve got to get some range time scheduled in later but I’m free for a bit.”

“Good. I’ve just gotta run by my room and change and then you can take me to the mess. You can keep telling me about how amazing I am.” She teases weakly. Her eyes widen as she looks past him and notices Tech still standing in the doorway.

“You can come too if you want but I understand if you’re busy”

He hesitates for half a second and Echo is sure he’s going to take her up on the offer. He can see it in the way he leans forward, the way his left hand clenches and unclenches that he wants to. 

“Maybe another time?”

Y/N barely manages a halfhearted “yeah, sounds good” before the engineer is turning on his heels and making his escape.

“I don’t think he likes me much,” she notes quietly after he’s gone.

Taglist: @skdubbs @pastelbunny1501 @my-own-oracle @underworldqueen13​ @obiorbenkenobi​ @adritozier @dafodddil @daniellajocelyn

[crazed-rambling]

KR-4872

 Sometimes you just got to spend seven hours writing oc star wars fanfic because you have strong feelings about what happens to the stormtroopers after The Rise of Skywalker.

________________________________________________________________

KR-4872 hated this pillow. They supposed it was their pillow now but it wasn’t. Every night their head would sink into it then fall and fall and fall and the hull was breached and it was cold. So cold. They tried to breath tried to think. Think back to training, let the commander’s voice echo in their head. What is your directive trooper? But this wasn’t like the sims. The sims were always outside. Missions were outside. Not the ship, the ship was tasks and orders and training and rest cycles. And the grav had given out they were spinning, screams and shots reverberating inside their helmet. And they couldn’t breathe.

They slept without the pillow, kicked it down the bunk every night. They hadn’t slipped on their programming, even here even now, they still woke up well before their warden came for them, and each morning they returned the pillow to its usual place. There was no telling what was a test here and KR-4872 had not been informed of the consequences of failure. They had not witnessed a failure here yet, but it always came eventually and they would not be an example. Settling into the familiar at ease stance they waited.

“Kid? You all ready to go?” A woman’s voice sounded through the doors; their warden had arrived. Originally their warden would not come in without a verbal response, another example of these rebels’ weakness, but KR-4872 was a good trooper and would starve before giving in to rebel scum not matter their pitiful attempts at coaxing. Three silent days later they stopped waiting for a response, but the question allowed them chance to switch from them at ease to at attention stance before the warden opened the doors. KR-4872 refused to salute them each morning as though they were their unit leader, but they wouldn’t let anyone, even rebels, think they were a defective trooper.

Their warden was a slight woman, seemingly unarmed, but they didn’t like their chances against her. For all KR-4872’s training they had significantly less reach which would be detrimental in a close quarters fight, and once they’d seen the warden working on the rebel ships they’d given all hope of a physical assault. With her dark skin and coiled hair and her smile, the warden looked somewhat like YS-8251 had under their helmet, after two weeks, sometimes it still hurt to look at her. YS-8251 was dead.

It was just as well, since the warden seemingly took pleasure in laying out little tests for them, telling them they didn’t need to stand at attention, that they could ask her questions, to call her ‘Amakt’. She’d clearly been ordered to make them break programming; the rebels were far behind on their interrogation techniques, and KR-4872 had been trained to resist even First Order techniques. It was both dangerous and deviant to allow any feelings other than suspicion towards this woman to develop, no matter what she tried. KR-4872 was a good trooper.

She still tried to make conversation, to get them to open up, ready to spill the First Order’s secrets as they were led through the corridors towards the mess. KR-4872 wasn’t used to answering questions about how well they’d slept, it was not important to the quality of their work, still this woman asked each morning.

“I slept well ma’am.” KR-4872 lied each morning. Yet these unnecessary questions acted as some form of distraction from the disorder of the hallways. No pattern or order to the speed or direction they walked, droids of all makes dodging around the slower moving species. Sometimes they even stopped to have meaningless conversations with people they saw. In the hallway! And everyone else was just supposed to walk around them as though they weren’t showing off their own lack of discipline. The worst thing was that sometimes the rebels’ eyes followed them as they passed. They weren’t used to being looked at, stormtrooper armour made them all look the same, perfect order. Perfect troopers did not stand out. The rebels had been looking at them ever since they’d forced the helmet from their head. One of the rebels had even teared up after they’d wrenched KR-4872’s helmet off, back when they’d found them among the wreckage of their base. ‘They’re so young,’ they’d whispered, turning away to hide the tears that only a truly defective troopers let show. As though they weren’t the ones who brought disorder and death to the entire galaxy, as though they hadn’t prolonged this war for so long that the order was forced to use cadets just finished basic programming on the front lines. They cried as though they hadn’t just hours before cheered as her unit burned. They’re so young hadn’t mattered then. It must have mattered enough that now. They must thought it would make them easier to break, that their unfinished training would cause them to spill The Order’s secrets. As if they were too young to have gone through programming. These rebels were naïve in that way. It was why they weren’t suited for bringing order to the galaxy. It was why The Order would rise up again someday.

If KR-4872 found the corridors distracting, they found the mess hall both overwhelming and more familiar than anything else in this place. The layout an inferior echo of the perfect regimented rows of tables where their unit had eaten their rations, but this place lacked any of the calm order of those meals. It was as though the chaos of the hallways intensified hundreds of times over as they stepped through the doorway; walking into the wall of chatter that spilled out from this place. Words, voices, accents all spilled over each other, combining into the sort of cacophony which left them scrambling to keep track of every sound. Combined with the sight of rebels sitting around tables, donning all sorts of colours, with seemingly no pattern in position, role or species. The first moments in this room always made KR-4872 feel as though the connections in their brain were all firing at once, in entirely the wrong directions, as they attempted to catalogue the scene.

Two weeks of visits had done little to relive the intensity but the routine their warden seemed to have set for them both brought a comforting predictability to the situation. They hadn’t had time to cover authorised improvisation in their training before they were needed at the front. Their warden did not trust them to collect their food, walking them over to sit at the same table under supervision of more rebels eating their rations until she returned with theirs. It was clear the rebels were trying to bribe them, letting a prisoner eat the same food as they did and such a variety at that. It had taken time to get used to how much flavour the rebels seemed to put in their meals, so much brighter and less efficient than the Order’s nutritional rations, an obvious ploy to win them over. But they would enjoy the benefits of their attempts while they lasted.

KR-4872 wasn’t sure who the rebels they sat with were meant to be, they were not the warden’s unit-mates as she seemed to be the only mechanic among them, they had none of the markings of squadron-mates, they weren’t of the same species which meant they couldn’t have been produced together. Besides the two other humans both being from Coruscant they had seemingly no connection between these rebels or reason that they should gather like this for meals. Still they liked the rodian best, he was quiet, nodding to them once as they arrived then leaving them to their meal in peace, occasionally giving them some of the sweet stuff the rebels called ‘dessert’. KR-4872 had not figured out what he was aiming for by doing this but he currently seemed harmless.

“So kid any progress on your name?” They liked the male human ‘Ko’ least; he always asked the same question trying to trip them up. Talking during meals wasn’t allowed but he always wanted an answer. They hated the question as well, it always seemed to be some kind of test but they could never work out how to pass. When they were first asked for their name KR-4872 had given their designation, but the rebels did not seem to accept that answer, asking them what they’d like to be called. KR-4872 still didn’t understand what the purpose of the question was, but at least there seemed to be no repercussions of giving a wrong answer. Although they had been assigned the temporary designation ‘kid’ until they claimed KR-4872 was able to come up with their name. They shook their head in answer and the attention slid off of them back onto the pale female human who he’d interrupted.

“So like as I was saying Ko.” They liked when the attention was not on them, the rebels were content to talk among themselves so long as KR-4872 ate their food at a reasonable pace. The first meal they’d eaten too slowly and had been asked if they ‘didn’t like the food’ or ‘if they wanted something else’, an obvious trap and obvious warning. They made sure never to give the rebels any reason to believe they were ungrateful; they had no intention of letting the rebels reprogram them.

“….overheard Conn saying he heard that the generals said that we might be getting more leave soon, ya’know since we almost finished cleaning out this sector.” These conversations didn’t really mean much to them but they never knew when these rebels would let something slip. “I can’t wait to go home; I just want my leave now. Two weeks in the city. My own bed, dad’s cooking and none of these kriffing massive jungle bugs everywhere.” So far they’d learnt far more about these rebels’ lives than about the resistance’s plans or any remains of the First Order but they listened anyway. They’d mention things KR-4872 had never heard of before, music and foods and cities and parties. They still hadn’t figured out the purpose of a party, or even what it was, but they were too smart to draw attention to themselves by asking a question unprompted.

“Forget home. I just want my own kriffing room to myself again; there’s no way I’m getting laid with Lin snoring three feet away.”

“Ko! The kid!” Their warden’s scandalised yell of their temporary designation was enough to snap them back to attention, orders should never have to be repeated twice. But from she simply raised on hand in their direction, a gesture they’d come to realise as some sort of apology for calling their designation, she’d said it was an apology for ‘startling’ them. But troopers were always ready to respond to direct orders, so they didn’t understand the need for any sort of apology, they also didn’t understand why she was so scandalised. KR-4872 had long since learnt the mechanics of reproduction and understood that one day they’d fulfil their duty to the Order and reproduce with a trooper of the opposite sex. The rebels overreacted to many things though. They had started to get used to that as well.

“Ready to go kid?” Their food was gone, their warden was standing up, smiling down at them. Their warden smiled at them a lot. Troopers didn’t get much opportunity to observe expressions but they couldn’t help but feel that when she smiled at them she was always a little sad. They weren’t sure how to feel about that. Not that it made a difference if a rebel was sad, KR-4872 was a good trooper and it was time for the next part of their routine. Return the plates to the dirty pile, then to work. Not that it was really work - they got the feeling that the rebels did not quite know what to do with a prisoner, at least they seemed to be the only prisoner like them, so they just left them under the supervision of their warden as she went about her day. KR-4872 mainly sat reading whatever manual or book someone had found lying around, watching their warden repair the rebel transport ships.

The hanger was never quiet, too many pilots and ships and mechanics all in one place, but in their corner when their warden was focused on her work KR-4872 could almost believe that they might wake up back in their real bunk surrounded by their unit. It was their favourite part of the day. But feelings are a weakness and troopers should know anticipation leads to mistakes. They should have known better. So caught up in their next task they lost track of their surroundings, asking for death on a mission. Something, someone brushed against their shoulder. Close. Too close. They walked into someone; they weren’t meant to walk into people. They weren’t meant to be in the way. The punishment for obstruction was three cycles of reduced rations. They jerked away, metal plate slipping between their grip. They could only watch it fall.

The echoing sound of metal on metal. The loudest sound.

Their warden was looking at them. The rebels were looking at them. The hall hadn’t gone silent but the kitchen and the line for food and enough of it had. They’d all seen. They’d all seen the mess they’d made. They’d all watched them fail. They would tell everyone. The officers would know, their unit leader would know. They’d know KR-4872 was a defective trooper. They were going to reprogram them again.

They were going to be reprogrammed.

They were going to be reprogrammed.

With every beat of their heart, with every breath becoming louder and louder, the knowledge reverberated in their head. And between each repeat was nothing but a deafening silence like the moments after a bomb drops.

The silence shattered, “Kid-“ they ran.

Out of the mess hall, right then left then left again. Which way to the room? No they’d find them there. They had to hide, had to get away. Couldn’t let them catch them. Wouldn’t let them reprogram them. They wouldn’t let themselves be emptied out again just to become a rebel puppet. They wouldn’t go back to that dark cold room. They’d been good, they’d been a good trooper. They’d passed their basic programming. They didn’t want to go back. They just have to keep running. Keep running until they couldn’t hear the footsteps behind them. They just needed to find somewhere to hide then regroup with their unit when the danger passed. That’s what they said in training. Just follow the training.

There! The next room on the right! An empty storage room filled with crates and rebel supplies. No one would think they hid here; they’d think they was trying to escape. It was perfect. They slid themselves between the gaps in the crates, into the small shadowed space behind. Too small for any of the rebels to pass, perfect for them. For the moment they were safe and KR-4872 buried their face in their knees.

Here in their hiding place it was dark and the sounds of outside were muffled just enough, like the inside of their helmet. KR-4872 missed their helmet, they missed the comforting feeling around their ears, how it protected them from the seemingly endless variety smells which just seemed to be everywhere, most of all they missed when nobody could tell if they let a few tears slip. They didn’t have that here, they let all those rebels see their weakness, how defective they were. Incapable of handling a single task, incapable of facing their punishment like a real trooper, incapable of even breathing. As though they were back, trapped in that helmet stuck endlessly spinning in zero grav as their unit was crushed and burnt around them. If they’d been a proper trooper they would have died with the unit, would have died before letting themselves be caught by rebel scum. KR-4872 was nothing but a defective trooper.

A shadow fell over the entrance to their hiding space, they froze still frantically trying to quiet their breathing. Look away. Look away. Look away. KR-4872 didn’t want to be reprogrammed again.

“I found her! Get Amakt!” They’d never heard the rodian shout before, he sounded almost frantic. They must not want to get punished either, they’re all going to be mad. There were more rebels now, they could hear them outside. They were all going to drag KR-4872 to reprogramming, scrape them raw from the insides until even their tears dried up. They didn’t even try to hold back the sob that escaped at the thought.

“Don’t crowd her!” Their warden. Amakt. Their warden. She sounded mad, yelling loud enough to drown out the crowd waiting to see them punished. They were going to be in so much trouble, they were going to get punished and she was going to get punished because of them and then they’d never get to eat that food again, and they’d never hear about the city or music and the rodian would never give them the sweet food. They’d ruined it all.

“Kid? You ok?” Her voice was quieter, closer now too. The shadows above her had moved away and through their teary eyes they saw her face at the entrance to their hiding place. An expression KR-4872 couldn’t quite understand on her face. Something like fear and sadness, not the type they felt when they got punished but the type they felt as they watched YS-8251 being taken for reprogramming.

“It’s me, Amakt. You can come out.” She was talking to them as though they were one of those wild weasel-like creatures that wondered in the from the jungle. Something weak and afraid. Maybe that’s what they were. It wasn’t like they were a proper trooper. Even the rebels could tell.

“You’re not in trouble. No one’s mad at you. It’s all been cleaned up, it’s all fixed.” Lies! They saw, they all know KR-4872 is defective now, the rebels knew they were weak. They were going to drag them off into one of those cold dark room to take all their secrets then wipe them clean after. If they didn’t just dispose of them once their use was up.

“Please come out. I just want to know you’re ok.” They were defective! How could they be ok? What did it matter if a defective trooper was ok? They could still feel snot and tears dripping onto their knees, they weren’t a proper trooper. Proper troopers didn’t hide away and cry like children.

“Everyone else has gone, it’s just us.” The shadows were gone, they couldn’t hear them either. The base was quiet for once in a way it never seemed to be, no chatter echoing off the walls. For a moment maybe it was just the two of them. Maybe they could leave, they might be able to get past her, find a new hiding place. But that wouldn’t work. They know that wouldn’t work. She’s taller and stronger and she has them trapped.

“We can go back to your room if you want kid. Or I could show you some of the X-wings in the hanger? We can do what you want today, ok?” It was clearly a trap. She’d noticed them looking at the X-wings across the hanger, they’d been too obvious, too childish. They should have kept their eyes front and centre. Trooper’s eyes didn’t wander. They didn’t get distracted by ships they’d never seen up close, decked in colourful paints so unlike the uniform TIE fighters they were used to. She’d noticed them and now she was using it against them, trying to lure them out with false promises only to spring the trap the moment they left their safe place.

“Whatever you want today kid. Just say the word.” But she sounded almost desperate, she’d never spoken to them like that before. No one had begged KR-4872 to do anything before, they were a trooper, they followed orders. But it didn’t matter because it was clearly a trap. They’d got too comfortable around these rebels, let their guard down. And now it was all crashing down.

But what if she was telling the truth? What if she was worried about them? Maybe they wouldn’t get reprogrammed. That was stupid, KR-4872 shouldn’t be so stupid and naïve, it was obviously a test. But they were already trapped, the rebels had them, the only way out was toward her. There was no need to lie to them. And if there was no need to lie then it was the truth? No! This was all a tactic to get them to come out so they could reprogramme them. But they were surrounded anyway, they could drag them out at anytime and they didn’t. Idiot! It’s to make reprogramming easier. They wanted them to spill all the Order’s secrets! But…. But if….

But if they were going to be reprogrammed either way….                                                        

                                              …maybe it didn’t matter if they failed one more test.

“Amakt? You promise?”

[an-ambivalent]

Word Count: 4.3K

Warnings: This work deals with yandere themes, violence, and other topics / detrimental behaviours that can be very triggering or uncomfortable to read.  Read at your own risk. I do not condone this behaviour, nor do I believe any of the mentioned members would display this type of behaviour in real life. Again, this work is NOT for the faint-hearted. 

A/N: For clarification, I forgot to mention. Part I was set before the Oath of Desires epilogue. This, Part II are the events that occur after the Oath of Desires epilogue. 

Slowly, he pulled her in,  through sweet kisses and love bites.  With obscure intentions, it's hard to judge the soul;  good or bad, you reap what you sow. 

The shift was gradual; it began with one offer, one favour, one dinner, and one night, before it manifested into another offer, another favour, another dinner, and another night. Then, it was one more offer, one more favour, one more dinner, and one more night, before they promised it was going to be the last, but the end of their time spent together never came. If anything, it had increased to the point where doing everything together felt natural, and it was almost as if they were one big happy family. 

And typically, as well as unfortunately, happy times always ended. 

The night was dark, darker than usual. Heavy and obsidian clouds overshadowed the moon and prevented it from being the usual source of guiding light at night that it was supposed to be. The night was starless, and due to the massive storms that had been occurring recently, there were ongoing issues with electricity. As a result, the street lights that were meant to be the light source to guide through the streets at night, were not functioning properly. So, despite the population in the area, due to the intense shrouding darkness, the suburb appeared to be a deserted ghost town. 

In Jimin’s household, [Name] frantically checked over Ha-neul’s belongings once again, to make sure she had everything that she needed. From a few footsteps away, Jimin was leaning against the wall as he observed them with a fond smile on his face. 

“You don’t need to worry you know. Even if she doesn’t have something, we’ll be fine. I’m more than used to looking after this little devil. Isn’t that right, Ha-neul?” he teased, and ruffled her hair. The said girl puffed out her cheeks in annoyance, and tried to grab Jimin’s hand so he would stop messing up her hair. 

“I hate you,” she responded, and despite her seemingly harsh words, due to the tone of her voice, it was evident that she was only returning Jimin’s banter. And in response to her words, [Name] and Jimin chuckled. 

As the two continued to playfully insult each other back and forth, [Name] could not help but watch them with a grin on her face. She felt so happy, to the point where she almost felt as if she was on cloud nine. Ever since Jimin had entered their lives, everything became so much easier and brighter. She was so grateful for everything he did, and continued to do for her and Ha-neul. More than anything, she was the most grateful for the relationship he had established with Ha-neul. 

In majority of cases, ‘children [were] a map of their parents.’ So, it was no surprise that due to [Name]’s current nature, Ha-neul had automatically adopted many of her behaviours without either of them realising it. She was withdrawn and distrustful. Due to these reasons, Ha-neul kept to herself. Like [Name], she kept her feelings and emotions bottled up. However, as both of them spent more time with Jimin, they had started to come out of their shells, little by little. They laughed more, talked more, and spent more quality time together; Jimin was the perfect glue that held them together. 

With Jimin, Ha-neul had someone else other than [Name] she could spend time with, and form a bond with. More often than not, as a single mother, [Name] was a busy person. For this reason, she could not give Ha-neul as much time as she wanted to. But with Jimin there to support her, and despite his busy schedule as well, with their two person team, they provided a lot care for Ha-neul, and kept her feeling loved, supported, and happy. 

[Name] was almost embarrassed with how much she had started to rely on Jimin. Whenever [Name] could not drive Ha-neul to school, or pick her up, Jimin would do it. He would also look after her whenever [Name] could not, like in this very moment. He would help Ha-neul with her homework whenever she had any difficulties with it, and he would teach her a lot of other skills like dancing. They had come to care about each other a lot, almost to the point where sometimes, [Name] even thought Ha-neul liked Jimin more than her. As much as this thought was heart-breaking, [Name] did not care for it because what mattered was that Ha-neul was being loved, and she was happy. And so far, [Name] had been sharing this happiness with her, until recently. 

In the moment, when her guard was dropped completely, when the terrifying invisible forces of her trauma did not cling onto her, when she had allowed herself to be happy and live in the moment, was when everything started to go wrong once more. [Name] should have known that the moment when she would finally feel free again, would be when her past would return to haunt her. From experience, she should have known better than to test her luck by visiting Taehyung, and expecting everything to be okay. By now, it was obvious that anything that involved Taehyung, was never going to be okay. 

She had been hopeful; however, now, more than ever, she was terrified. She was terrified due to all the threats that Taehyung had made, and his promises of danger. She was scared of what might happen, of the reality that what she went through with Jungkook, she was going to suffer again. Only this time, it was going to be Taehyung who would inflict her with pain, and with Taehyung, it may be much, much, worse. She knew better than anyone what Taehyung was capable of, especially when he became angry, and allowed his emotions to take control. Whatever Taehyung wanted, he would get. Once he set his eyes onto something, he would never rest until he accomplished it, until whatever he thought was owned to him, had been collected. The harsh fact was that [Name] was both of these things -- she was something he wanted, and he felt entitled to her. Just like Jungkook, Taehyung did not view [Name] as her own person. He viewed her as an object, as a brainless person, who should do whatever he told her to do. 

With revenge as his reason, he had killed Jungkook. Granted, their options were limited, but instead of killing him, he could have simply injured him. He acted on the whim of his emotions, lost control, and killed him. Who was to say he would not do the same to [Name]? After all, he also swore his revenge on her, and always seemed to become consumed in his rage just by looking at her. His dangerous oath of desires were carved into her mind and everytime she recalled his words from her last visit, it made her stomach twist in fear and nervousness. 

“I’m in here, suffering alone, because I killed Jungkook to protect you! The least you should have done is wait for me to get out of this hell and build our lives together instead of moving on by yourself!” 

“Enjoy your new lover and your baby while you still can. Once I get out of here, I’ll be coming for you, because you belong to me. No one, not Jungkook, his baby, Jimin or anyone else will keep you away from me any longer. I’ll kill them all like I killed Jungkook.”

Threats to her own safety were one thing, but him promising to hurt Ha-neul and Jimin as well? [Name] was worried especially for Ha-neul because she knew that he would hurt her badly if he ever got his hands onto her. 

With everything that had happened, and knowing that Taehyung would follow through with his threats, [Name] was more than aware that she could not keep this to herself. Especially, with his release date nearing, Taehyung was closer than ever to attaining his freedom. She would not be able to handle him herself, she would not be able to fight him herself, especially since there was a chance he could use Ha-neul as a leverage against her. So, there was only one logical thing to do and that was to ask for help. 

The fear and anxiety she had felt after visiting Taehyung had overwhelmed her too much. Right after it, instead of returning to her home, she had gone to Jimin’s residence next door. When he had opened his door to welcome her, instead of seeing the usual bright [Name], she was weeping and shaking. Evidently, worry had consumed him. 

Right away, [Name] had spilled the entire truth to him, and he had done nothing except wait patiently for her to finish. Once she did, immediately, Jimin had hugged her, and comforted her. He had sworn to protect her and Ha-neul. Afterwards, once [Name] had calmed down, it was Jimin’s turn to share his story like they had promised. Since Jimin now knew the entire truth, it was exactly why he was fretting over [Name], as she stood outside of his home, ready to leave on a night out with her friend. 

“Are you sure you should be going? You don’t need to, especially when Taehyung could be out there. You should just stay with me and Ha-neul. It’ll be much safer,” he suggested as he settled his hands on her waist, and then kissed her on the lips. Instead of giving her a quick peck as a farewell like he usually did, he deepened the kiss, hoping he could somehow use this as a way to convince her to stay with him. 

[Name] happily kissed him back, and afterwards, once the need for oxygen began to increase, she eventually pulled back. The sensation of the kiss lingered on their lips, and despite the fear she felt, [Name] smiled reassuringly. 

“For as long as Taehyung is free, he is a potential danger. But I can’t let that rule over my life. I can’t let that fear hold me back anymore. I’m tired of just focusing on surviving and trying to stay under the radar. I don’t want to be like that anymore Jimin, you made me realise that. I want to live and be happy. I want to make choices that make me happy, like choosing to love you, despite whatever Taehyung threatened me with,” [Name] said, before she pecked his lips. 

Jimin closed his eyes, expecting the kiss to last longer like their last one. However, all too soon, when [Name] had immediately pulled away, he opened his eyes to see her smirking at him teasingly. Right away, embarrassment engulfed him. 

“I’ll be safe I promise. I have my phone on me too. If anything happens, I have you on my emergency contact dial. Besides, we’re only going to dinner. I doubt anything will happen. HA-NEUL BE GOOD! I’ll see you tonight,” [Name] said smiling, before she waved, and rushed off to her friend’s car that was parked in front of Jimin’s house, and who was waiting for her. 

As much as Jimin did not want to let her go, he had to. It was her choice, and while it was not the ideal one, he had to trust her. He could not bring himself to force his choices on [Name], especially when that is what Taehyung and Jungkook did to her. She deserved to be free, to enjoy herself, and be happy. All he could do was hope it would all be okay, and protect her to the best of his ability. 

Jimin closed the front door of his home, and while doing so, he did his best to ignore his gut feeling that gnawed at him, telling him that something was definitely going to go wrong. 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay walking back yourself?” [Name]’s friend, Vicki asked, as she pulled over her car at the edge of the ‘no-exit’ street that [Name] lived on. [Name] easily brushed off her concerns, and gave her a lopsided grin. Despite the cold night, [Name] was feeling rather warm. Her movements were a bit off as she went to grab her things, and from where she sat in the driver’s seat, Vicki could smell the alcohol from [Name]’s breath. She winced inwardly, but seeing as how [Name] was still aware of her surroundings, and only slightly tipsy, she allowed her to be. Besides, she knew that [Name] loved night-time. Maybe a small two minute walk from their current spot to her home was what she needed to clear her mind. 

“I’ll be fine. Mine and Jimin’s house is like right there. Don’t be such a worry wart Vicki, you’re going to get wrinkles. We both know that’s Mina’s job,” [Name] joked, and clumsily, she opened the car door beside her.

Vicki sighed and nodded, “okay.” Then, just as [Name] shut the car’s door, Vicki spoke to her through the window that was rolled down. 

“It was good to see you again [Name], we haven’t caught up since high school. It’s a shame Mina couldn’t make it, so make sure you contact her too, she’d love to see you again. I’m glad you’re doing well and not hanging around losers like Taehyung anymore. Give my regards to Jimin,” Vicki said smiling. In response, [Name] simply nodded. Then, with one last wave as a good-bye, Vicki sped off. 

[Name] sighed as she began to trudge towards the direction of her home. Admittedly, the dinner with Vicki had been fun. It had kept her mind off the uneasiness she had been feeling the entire time and made her forget about Taehyung. But of course, just as the night was coming to an end, Vicki had to mention him. The universe had to remind her of him. There was never a single day where the thought of Taehyung would not haunt her. 

With feelings of bitterness towards Taehyung weighing heavily on both her mind and heart, [Name] looked up to the dark, cloudy and starless night sky and began pondering. She wondered where it all went wrong. She wondered how Taehyung, who used to be her best friend, her biggest support, the one person she could always count on no matter what, her protector, had now ended up as the very person she had come to fear the most. 

Was it because of Jungkook? Did he get like this after he realised Jungkook had some sort of sick infatuation with them? But before anything had even happened with Jungkook, Taehyung had also cheated on her. Why had he done that? If he actually loved her as much as he said he did, then why had he cheated and broken her heart in the first place? What would their lives and relationship be like if they had never met Jungkook? If he had never cheated? Would they still be together? Would he have treated her right? Would they have had a child together? If so, what would their life be like? How different would her and Taehyung’s child be to Ha-neul? Surely, she would have at least been able to pursue her dreams… How would her life be like if she had never run away from home with Taehyung in the first place? If she had stayed behind, and lived the life her parents wanted her to live. She pondered on all of these different possibilities, and of the different realities she could be in at this very moment, if simply one event in her life had been different. 

Her parents… [Name] had not spoken to them in so many years. After she had run away with Taehyung, he never let her contact them because he always reminded her that she had left them for him for a reason. He had told her that to contact the ones’ who doubted and held her back, would be going against everything they had done so far. She had really wanted to talk to them. Unlike Taehyung, [Name] was genuinely close with her family, despite some of the things that they had done. Eventually, lack of communication with her family for one month, turned into another until it became a year. Then, after that one year, and with everything that happened until this point, she had forgotten about them. She wondered how they would react if she contacted them now, and told them that they were grandparents. With all of her burdens on her shoulders, she had forgotten that she was someone’s child too, that she had a family who loved her, and would do nearly anything for her. 

Exhaustion, emotions, and everything else -- these caused tears to well up in the corner of her eyes. 

With a broken voice, she spoke, mostly to herself. 

“Why won’t you just leave me alone Taehyung?” she wondered out aloud, not expecting a single answer. But she was given one, from a very familiar voice. Chills ran down [Name]’s spine, and out of fear, goosebumps arose on her skin. Tears that were once running down her cheeks out of sorrow, were now being wept because of fear; fear for what he was going to do to her, fear for what was going to happen, and fear of what the knife that he held against the back of her neck meant. His breath fanned against her skin, prompting a sob out of her. 

“Because you belong to me. I will never you alone because you’re mine, and I need to teach you what that means,” he whispered in a low dangerous voice. Then, with his venomous touch, he lovingly brushed [Name]’s hair to the side, so he would access to the skin of her neck. He kissed it, while wrapping an arm around her waist possessively, and pulling her so her back hit against his chest. 

“Did you miss me, my love? Did you get so lonely without me that you couldn’t even wait and let another man touch you?” Taehyung hissed, and he forcefully pushed her to walk forward towards her home. 

[Name] whimpered. 

“I-I didn’t--”

“You didn’t what? Miss me or sleep with Jimin? You know it’s really funny, for everything you hate about me, and wanting to live a ‘happier’ life, you’re choices in men always stays the same: trash. Do you really think Jimin is who he shows himself to be? That he has never done anything deceptive behind your back or won’t do anything deceptive in the future? After what happened with me and Jungkook, I thought you’d be less stupid and learn not to trust men. But I guess ignorant dumb people like you never learn,�� Taehyung insulted, and by now, they reached the front door of [Name]’s abode. With stealth, Taehyung took out her house keys from her jacket’s pocket, opened the door, and roughly pushed her in. He followed behind her, and locked the door. 

As [Name] stumbled on her feet from being pushed in, she tried to run away from Taehyung as he was preoccupied with locking the door. But she was unable to, because he reached out, and grabbed a hold of her hair, before harshly yanking her back. The pain from having her hair being pulled caused [Name] to shriek in pain. She grabbed onto Taehyung’s hand that was holding onto her hair, and with as much force as she could, dug her nails into his skin painfully. 

“Jimin’s been secretly recording videos whenever you two--” Taehyung started, however, his words turned into a yelp of pain. This was because [Name] pierced through this skin with her nails and drew blood. Instantly, he released his grip on her, and with this moment that she received, she used it to scurry away from Taehyung, and ran towards the kitchen. 

When Taehyung noticed that she was no longer in his hold, he growled in anger, and stomped towards the direction she had gone in. 

“Come back here [Name]! If you cooperate, I’ll show you mercy and give that devil’s daughter a quick death instead of a slow torturous one. All of that time in prison left me really frustrated. I’ve been looking forward to this so much. Be a good girl. Come back here and do as I say and I’ll reward you with my child-- what, what are you doing?” Taehyung’s eyes widened when he entered the kitchen to see [Name] holding a knife to her neck. 

Jimin and Ha-neul were in the middle of finishing up a jigsaw puzzle when Jimin’s phone rang. The two had been laughing at an awful pun that Jimin had made. However, Jimin’s laughter had immediately ceased when he saw that the person calling him was [Name]. The entire night, he had been worried about her safety. So, recalling their conversation, and how she promised to call him if something happened, led him to stand up, walk a bit away from Ha-neul, and pick up the phone. He was going to speak, however, held himself back from doing so, when he heard the conversation that was happening on the other side. 

“Taehyung, if you take one step closer to me, I’m going to kill myself right here and right now. You don’t want that do you? You love me, don’t you? You want to have me to yourself, right? But if I die, then you can never have me--” Jimin heard over the phone, before he stopped listening, because he had instantly jumped into action. 

The single word Taehyung was all it took for him to put two and two together, and he knew what he needed to do. Now, more than ever, he was regretting not trusting his gut feeling from earlier, and allowing [Name] to leave when he knew she should have stayed with him. 

From where she was sitting, Ha-neul furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she watched Jimin stomp towards her with an expression that was mixed with fury and concern. She yelped when he abruptly grabbed her. He forced her to stand up, and dragged her towards a particular room. 

“W-What are you doing?” Ha-neul managed to squeak out, as Jimin pushed her into the room. 

“I need you to stay here. For your own safety, stay hidden. Don’t turn on the lights, don’t make sounds. Just stay here, and whatever happens, do not come out. I’ll come back for you later, I promise. I’ll call out ‘cheese sticks’ before opening this door, and only then you respond. If you hear footsteps and someone calling out to you, and they don’t say cheese sticks, even if it sounds like [Name], do not come out. Jump out of the window, and run as far as you can,” Jimin said. Then, before Ha-neul could speak again, he slammed the door shut, and locked it. 

As quickly as he could, Jimin grabbed his gun that was in one of the drawers in the living room, and ran out of his house, and towards [Name]’s. When he tried to open the front door of her house, he was unable to since it was locked. He mentally praised himself for thinking ahead and duplicating a copy of [Name]’s original house keys for himself to use. He had put in his copy of the key and unlocked the door. Immediately, he rushed inside, and his eyes widened when he saw both [Name] and Taehyung on the kitchen’s floor. 

Taehyung was straddling her and forcefully trying to remove her clothes. Simultaneously, he was shouting profanities at [Name], who was thrashing in his hold and trying to kick and hit him in whatever way she could. 

Fortunately, Taehyung had not noticed Jimin, which gave Jimin the perfect chance to strike. Holding the gun from the front, Jimin moved his arm back. Then, as the universe decided that Taehyung would experience karma for his actions towards Jungkook, Jimin swung the back of the gun with as much agility and power as he could muster, and hit it harshly on Taehyung’s head. As a result, Taehyung yelped, before dark spots began to cloud his vision. As he fell face first on the floor, Jimin immediately grabbed the scared [Name], and forced her to stand up.  

“Let’s go while he’s still down,” Jimin said, before he dragged her out of her home. Once they were outside, he locked her door so Taehyung would not be able to escape. Since the danger was now over, and [Name] did not have a reason to be her in her ‘fight mode’ any longer, the reality of what had happened finally dawned upon her. She entered a state of shock, and without her permission, tears welled up in the corner of her eyes. In the process of still trying to make sense of what had occurred, she failed to ask how Jimin had a pair of keys to her home, and why. 

Her sweet neighbour, who had always been there for her, and continued to selflessly support her, wrapped a comforting arm around her trembling and crying form, as he led her towards his home. 

“It’s okay [Name], everything is okay. You’re safe now, I protected you. I’ll call the police on your behalf and they’ll take him away. This time, I’ll make sure he’ll be locked up forever. Taehyung won’t hurt you or Ha-neul ever again, I’ll make sure of it. I’ll keep you both safe, and I’ll do anything to protect you. Just trust me and stay by my side, okay?” Jimin mumbled, as they both entered his abode. Gently, he sat [Name] down on his couch, before he walked towards the room he had hidden Ha-neul in, so he could unlock it and let her out. 

“Okay,” [Name] mumbled weakly. 

Jimin grinned widely. 

Finally, [Name] was his.   

THE END

This is the end of Obscure Intentions. It is only meant to be a short two-shot sequel or so. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed reading it and liked learning more about [Name] and Taehyung from this series. 

If you happen to have any questions about the series, I will be happy to answer them. I admit some things might be confusing, abrupt, or unclear so feel free to ask anything.  Please share your thoughts about the series. :) 

Also [1] “children are a map of their parents” -- that quote is taken from Bend It Like Beckham that is why it was in ‘..’ italicized and underlined. 

Till next time!

With love,

ambi ♥

[birdlingstarot]

Hi 💗💗 I would like to know if my jealous friend, RB has a crush on me or if there's another reason why she's possessive when I interact with men. I talked to her and didn't get much. Sorry for the personal ask, CJ 💋

Hello  🌻 CJ 💋!

Please do not worry about it being personal! I’m totally okay with them. 😊

A little birdie told me this 🕊

There is something I would like to tell you before you dive into the reading and is important that you do. This reading for you might not be what you want to hear and can be considered heavy. Please only proceed if you are comfortable and resonates with it. Please feel free to stop reading if you are feeling too uncomfortable or overwhelmed. Do feel free to message me if you need to talk.

I had put a small section right at the bottom where I had labelled ‘Warning’. It touches on mental issues which can be a trigger. Through the reading, there are also heavy issues such as low self-esteem that can be a trigger so please proceed with caution. 

If you would like this to be taken down, please feel free to tell me and I will as soon as I can. Take care of yourself and proceed carefully, okay? 

Why does RB seem possessive of you to you? 

Eistibus - Angel of Divination

The communication is murky here. On RB’s side, she had yet to be able to clearly identify her feelings and thoughts about and around you, even herself. 

In addition, you possess an innate healing quality that you might not even be aware of and is just starting to come to light.

Currently, you feel the need to fully understand the situation as right now, you feel out of control, that whatever you do, they’re just not wielding out the result that you want to achieve. It is okay to feel that way and is a very normal reaction.

However, you are now called to put your need to feel in control, to know everything behind your back. This meant that right now, you are called and pulled into this situation to step back and let fate do its job. 

Right now, you are learning that you do not need to be in control at all times and be comfortable with letting go of said control sometimes, just so you can step back, calm down and observe.

You tend to be someone that want actions. If something is or goes wrong, you have a need to want to fix it immediately. This is not a bad quality to possess. This quality could very well had bled into this relationship where RB seems to be keeping her silence and seemingly keeping secrets from you, especially regarding your relationship together, as friends, etc.

Communication is very important to you and is something that directly impacts your mood and happiness, which further the feelings of frustration and seemingly unable to understand the situation despite putting in effort.

On RB’s end, there is something weighing on her heart that she can’t seem to let go of and is influencing her in not only her mood, but also how she acts, especially around you. This weight seems to be something deeply rooted in her and is actually something from her past that she had suppressed and pushed down for far too long and is now coming to light. She is trying and learning to come to terms with it and to let go of this weight that she has. 

She likely had sensed your healing energy, your capability and capacity of healing and healing energy, and had unconsciously sought you out. In addition, you have great communication skills and qualities which is something that she needs help on since her communication is currently blocked because:

1. She doesn’t know what to say or found the right words to say (her thoughts are in a mess, very noisy etc.)

2. Her low confidence is affecting her and forcing her to keep quiet on things, similar to how one feel that they shouldn’t tell others their problems because others have a lot on their plate and they don’t want to add to that, as well as thinking that they are not worth others’ time and affection etc.

3. She doesn’t want to negatively impact others around her, such as bringing the mood down etc., especially yours

You do not need to worry as things will come to light soon and things will become clear to you once more.

Six of Rings; Nine of Swords; Queen of Cups; I - The Magician; King of Cups

RB is experiencing a turmoil in her mind that is trying to bring balance between her emotions and logic side. She is trying to rationalise things in her mind as well as trying to control her emotions with what she deems logically. However, this was done in a way that is not the best for her as she is not only pushing down her feelings, she is also chastising herself on why she is being illogical as well as minimalizing her feelings and their importance. She is generally being too hard and harsh on herself.

She needs someone who will stop her in her tracks of thinking and overly criticising herself to the point that it could be considered hate.

This issue had likely stemmed from her past, what people had told her or scolded her for. She is her own worst enemy at this point as she is pushing down herself even further and not supporting herself when she needs to.

This is a huge issue and heavy rock in her heart and mind that is affecting her mood, actions and verbal communication. She has likely chastised herself about what she said and/or not said, how she said it etc. 

However, she does not want to feel that way anymore. She wants to stop fighting.

In a way, she sought you out because you are on the more straightforward side of the spectrum compared to her. She enjoys and respect the fact that you are not afraid of trying to communicate with her and talk to her about some things that are bothering you, especially about her.

Sure, she chastise herself again for making you feel that way and her actions, however, she prefers it over overthinking herself and chastising more about herself with things that you might not even feel and the mere fact that she is overthinking and could easily resolve this through talking and speaking with you yet is unable to gather the courage to do so.

Confronting someone as well as talking to someone about this issue she has terrifies her.

She, in her own way, is looking out for you. In fact, in a way, she puts you above herself and likely many others as well. This comes in the form of not telling you about what had been bothering her. She believes that she’s a huge mess and shouldn’t bother anyone with it because she is undeserving of it (which is not true and honestly, everyone can be messes at times and even all the time, but that’s what she believes). Even when you become vulnerable with her, instead of returning it with her own vulnerability, she can shut herself up about her issue even further because she does not want to bother you.

Her issues stem from her thoughts and believes. Her mind is like a muddy pond and a lotus. Currently, the lotus is her issues that is/are weighing heavily on her, seemingly blooming further and emerging despite all that she tried to push it down and cut it off, seemingly unstoppable in their tracks. However, at the same time, she has the ability, capability and capacity to turn those same heavy issues into the muddy water and emerges from it all, better, brighter and stronger. 

She is very willing to consider the circumstances of others. In fact, you might had notice some or a few changes after you had talked to her. Whether you feel positively or negatively about it, that is what she deems the better action to take for her and it would not be a surprise if she is still thinking about the better course of actions to take, by herself or with a few others.

Yes, she does speak to people sometimes to ask for advice and show vulnerability. However, this heavy issue that weighs on her is likely something she had never spoken deeply about. She might had brought it up a few or couple of times but usually skim through and pass it, saying something along the lines of ‘don’t worry about it’ and that ‘I’m fine, it’s in the past anyway’.

Despite how far past the issue might go, it is still affecting her.

In fact, she might had, in a way, come to terms with it. Bittersweet if you will. She had accepted what she feel and thoughts as facts and is living with it. To put into a perspective, for example, you are bad at cooking and you accept that. In the same or similar manner, she had done the same to what had been weighing on her.

You might find that she cries easily over things, especially things that had gone wrong, done wrong or when she’s scolded. You might find her emotional at times, even when the situation does not call for it or when you didn’t or least expects it. 

She can be very giving in her own way. If you ask her for help, it is very likely that she will try her best to help you, even going further than most others would.

However, she likely had a fantasy of being ‘saved’. Similarly to in fairytales where the princesses were saved by princes and they live happily ever after, she holds this idealised fantasies that can and some had become over-emotional fantasies. 

You might find that she has extreme and/or too idealised opinions and ideas on romance. For example, you might find her saying that the partner must do this and that and must not do this and that although those things that she had mentioned could very well not had been what you would deem necessarily needing to dump someone over. 

In fact, she had been hurt by people in her past and current, romantic or potential romantic partners, friends and family members. What they had said had cut her deeply in the heart and became this heavy rock or stone that she carries in her heart, at the very bottom. It will only grow bigger with time if she leave it unattended or pushed off to the side.

This led to her fantasies of being saved but instead of looking outwards to find someone to ‘save’ her, she has to ‘save’ herself and she have that ability to do so, to find true and extreme happiness within herself, by herself, without the need of a romantic partner.

This past hurt is held over her head and tied to her. She’s holding on tightly to it unconsciously that it feels as though it is being tied to her. However, no matter if she’s the one holding on or being tied to, how thick the ropes are, how many times the rope had looped around, ropes are still ropes. She can cut through it.

In fact, many things that she received had gone through this ‘past hurt’ filter or enzyme, which led to her receiving bad thoughts which turns into believes when it fills her mind. She needs to know and believe that she is not what ever the filtered or changed thoughts are and that she will only be affected by this as long as she allows the filter or enzyme to be and stay there. She needs someone to push her into realising this.

In fact, she had likely subconsciously sought you out because you not only have a healing energy but also an activational or motivational energy, especially through your words. Your words inspire people more than you think. 

You are kind and patient, despite what you might think of yourself. You might feel that ‘hey, I get annoyed easily at certain things, that’s not patient.’ but that is not the only way to show patience. The fact that you continue to be with that person and try to help them, despite being annoyed, is patience, alright?

You have great potential in your spirituality and can heal and inspire people through words, speech and communication, verbal, physical and otherwise. The manner you heal someone is more on inspiring them to take action, especially physically. You likely find yourself advising people more often instead of comforting them when people talk to you about problems that they are experiencing. 

You likely had not realise this yet. In fact, you should harness and improve on this energy and your communication because it will help you greatly in many aspects of your life as well as in the fact, such as your career.

(I see you speaking to a large audience, being passionate about what you are speaking about. So, communication is very important to you and will help you succeed. For example, in career wise, you are likely to be known for your presentations that you present. To be in the spotlight and front line more often than the back. If you are uncomfortable with speaking in front of audiences and being in the spotlight, I do believe that you should work on it! You can do it! All the best! Maybe I might see you online one day on a video though I have no idea who you might be 😁)

This is the energy that RB requires. She needs someone who will push her into action because of the fact that she thinks a lot, even too much at times, instead of taking action. That someone that she found is you. 

Advice for you to deal with this situation or connection.

Star Family - You’re part of a team of souls. Call in support.

If you feel pressured, need someone to talk to about the situation, make sure to talk to someone. You are connected to a soul family that will help you, you can ask them for help. Soul family does not necessarily means your immediate family members or relatives but rather people you are most connected to, people you are most comfortable with, who you can be yourself around without fear of judgement or anything. You can always ask for their help and support when things get rough, they will have your back.

They strongly and firmly wants you to know that they have your back, so feel free to call for them anytime. Know that they can and will always help you, and to be able to help you more effectively is when you call for them and ask them for help. Please do not feel shy, bad or hesitant in it. I’m sure you understand that it is easier to help someone when they directly tell you what’s wrong and ask for your help, right?

Make sure that you, yourself, have support on and through this. It can be just friends that you can talk to or rant out your feelings. They do not have to be directly involved in the situation but make sure that you have them by your side for your own health, safety, wellness and happiness etc.

Know that the universe will always be here to help you and provide you with the energy and guidance you need through this and in this particular situation, your soul family could very well be more prominent in helping you. You are loved here as you.

Portal - Doors are opening. You decide. Rewards. Wild card.

This is a learning experience for you as well. Not only are you learning to deal with this situation, you are also learning about yourself, your growth as well as realising the things around you. 

Through this experience and journey, you might find yourself in contact with someone new or someone you never expected to become close to. There will be things that you learn to realise and appreciate that had always been there.

There will be changes and you are asked to be open to those changes.

Try to stay open-minded to it and let it flow. Don’t try to control this because it is something that you are unlikely to have control over and can very well tire you out and burnt your energy out trying. 

This experience is likely something that will make you realise many things and grow a lot from. It will likely be stuck with you for a few years even after the situation had end its chapter and even then, you could realise and learn from it. 

New perspectives. New views. New skills. Growth. New ideas.

Be open to receiving it. You are guided and protected through this journey. Trust it, step back and let go of the need to control for a while because you might very well be pleasantly surprised by it.

It might help to get in touch with your feminine energy or someone with a predominantly more feminine energy. They will likely serve as great guides and provide great advice as well as someone you can lean on and learn from in this situation. 

Again, let go of control. Let go of the need to control. This is coming on strongly for you.

Also, don’t be too afraid or worried. You are protected and guided here. The unknown can be scary but once you learn and understand more of it, it won’t be as damning as you initially think and feel.

Message for you.

Deep Cellular Healing - Arcturus energy. Physical and emotional healing.

This not only applies to RB but also to you as well. Make sure that you take care of yourself as well. This is also a time for you to learn to balance between helping others as well as ensuring your own physical, mental and emotional health.

I won’t sugar coat my words but it is likely that this experience you have with RB might not be the most pleasant one, something seemingly negative will likely happen and have a big impact on your life which leads to deep healing and in turn, large growth. Be prepared and open to it.

This healing and growth that you will experience is a big one and is an even more amazing one. Arcturus is the biggest star in the constellation of Boötes, the fourth-brightest in the night sky, and the brightest in the northern celestial hemisphere. This is a good representation of you - not only will you shine bright, have great energy but also that you are connected, with divine spirit guides, universe and your soul family. Hear them. Open your ears and listen. Verbal words can very well be a way for them to connect and speak to you. Take note of what words catches your attention or any songs or words that pop up in your mind, they might be important and mean something to you that will help guide you and help your growth.

Call in help and support if you need it.

In fact, you are also learning to be able to protect yourself without the metaphorical high brick walls but rather a soft, translucent wings or soft shell, easy to peel back. This means to be in touch with your feminine side as well as your emotions and vulnerability. It is tough but you can do it.

Though it might seem tough but it will help you not only to love and accept yourself more and grow but also helps in many other aspects of your life such as relationships (romantic and platonic) and career. This is even a key to your success.

Mentioned above, communication is very important to you, your growth and success. This communication is backed and supported by your passions and emotions. Vulnerability in itself is a strength, it can bring people together. To be in tune with and comfortable with your own vulnerability will further attract people to you as well as those of higher frequencies (people who are generally more spiritual) as well as those who are successful and/or very capable to you.

What you are learning to become is a person with powerful, feminine energy. Someone confident and not afraid of their own vulnerabilities but rather thrive within them, being able to mold vulnerabilities into a strength. This does not mean not growing from vulnerabilities but rather being comfortable in them and accepting of them because, as mentioned, vulnerabilities can bring people together. You are likely someone who will become a person that bring people together and heal and inspire them through your words, such as speaking your experiences etc. I would not be surprised if you become someone in the celebrity world, film industry, talk shows, motivational speakers, stand-up comedy or on platforms like youtube etc.

What are you meant to learn through this experience or connection with RB?

2 - The Temple of My Body

You are meant to learn how to take better care of yourself. In times of difficulties, you are likely, like many others, tend to forgo taking care of ourselves fully or partially. This can include not sleeping enough, not eating enough, skipping meals, not drinking enough water, drinking too much caffeine etc. 

This is something that you must learn. No matter the circumstances, good or bad, you have to take care of yourself and what’s better and easier to start of with physically, something you can see and control easier than others such as mentally, spiritually and emotionally. 

Know that you are always worthy. Never dare to believe otherwise just like any and everyone else. You are never below or less worthy than someone else when it comes to being taken care of and that is your responsibility - to know, understand and believe that you are always worthy, as worthy as any and everyone else, the person next to you or the person you walked past, saw on television, as well as to take care of yourself.

Know that, whenever you fall into a slump, you have the power and energy to change the situation, change your perspective. You are intelligent and can seemingly wield ‘magic’ and create realities that seem too good to be true, too impossible to achieve. You have the power, the courage to be fearless and ability to create. 

In a manner, when you are a fish out of water, you have the power and the seemingly mysterious ability to become a crow, to fly, soar and live. 

You have the ability to make yourself happy, to create your own happiness. Know that. Believe that. Even when anyone else says otherwise. Don’t let anyone dim your light, nor dim your light to appease others. 

You have control over your body, your soul and your spirit. Others can only affect you if you let them. Sometimes, you can simply step away and move on. You are not alone, you always have your divine spirit guides, universe and soul family with you along the way, no matter where you are, where you go. You will find people that will help and support your journey and growth. 

It’s simply up to you to decide.

28 - Perchance to Dream

You are learning to balance things here, from actions to rest. When is enough is enough? 

You are loyal to certain things, to certain people, to certain things that you do. However, when things get rough, when is a good time to step back and relax to calm yourself before heading back in? When is a good time to return to the issue? If all else fails, when do you give up and just let things flow?

There will be many times where actions as well as rest are required. You are learning to balance it and not fall into a rhythm of always in action or always resting. 

Take time out when needed. Do what you need to do when needed. 

Know that those are for you to decide, not anyone else.

Know that you are always supported, protected and guided even as you rest by your divine spirit guides, universe and soul family. 

Take your time and know that you are always in control of who you are and what you do.

Warning

Frankly speaking, she could very well have depression and anxiety. She might or might not had self-harmed or attempted suicide but has definitely thought about it and might be thinking about it sometimes. 

[Note: I am not qualified to diagnosed anyone. To truly know, please find a psychologist or therapist, someone qualified to diagnosed.]

Here on out is from me, not what I had gathered from the reading.

Know that you are not obliged to help or be with someone if you are uncomfortable. Please take care of yourself and you should always place yourself first before anyone else. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself, understand? 

If you need or want someone to talk to, you can always approach me or private message me. My messages are always open! 😊

All the best!!!

You can do this, alright!!!

We hope this had helped you, 🌻 CJ 💋!

For now, the little birdie shall return home 🏡 ~ Ring our doorbell whenever!

Rest well 💤 ~

[bella-spil]

2 Romeos & 1 Juliet- Part 4

Part 4- Its Buckys turn to take you on a date. Fem reader

Warnings- implied smut(not really) kissing/making out, cursing.

Word Count: 6.7k( I tried to add a lot more detail in this one so bear with me)

Taglist: @kmuir1​ @angrythingstarlight​ @wednesday-add-em​ @sea040561​ (lmk if you wanna join.  The more the merrier!)

A/N: This would have been done sooner, but the internet was down for the past three days.  I got some inspiration from GOTG vol.2( a tiny bit) and I added a lot more detail than normal.  And there might be a meme or two that I took a line from(its the “so I started blasting” one”).  Also the pic of the outfit is from me, amd Im sry for the terrible quality, I have a shitty camera.  Also the link for the 40s slang I used is https://rkcowles.wordpress.com/1940-slang-glossary/ , if you are in the mood to learn some.  I hope you enjoy, bc this one might be my fav of this series.  

You had a pretty good week after your date with Loki.  Whenever you saw the God of Mischief, you both acted like his attempted kiss never happened.  You acted like normal friends.  You read the note Billie gave you, alone so Loki didn't see, and she actually said she thought Loki was cute.  Not hot but cute.  You laughed at what she wrote, and you swore you would never show Loki.  

As the week went on, Bucky was planning his date out.  He had a place, one that you would both enjoy and have a lot of fun at.  He had everything prepared for you, but he was still nervous.  

What if it doesn't work?  What if she really doesn't like me?  What if I do something wrong?  He thought as the week carried on.  But he never showed the fear to you.  He was acting all confident, bragging about how he would win you over with his charm, like how he did with the ladies in his time.  You told him that you weren't like all those other girls, and he agreed.  He said that he would have a challenge with you, but he knew he would win.  He always won.  He also flirted with you constantly, which drove Loki up the walls.  You enjoyed this confident side of the Winter Soldier, you knew you were gonna see it more often.  

You also tried prying the location of the date out of Bucky.  But he was a Super Soldier, so that didn't work out.  You gave up in about 5 minutes.  

Then the day came.  You and Bucky were both anxious.  You had no clue where you were going, and Bucky hasn't been on a date in a while.

“Doll, we are leaving at 4 ok?” he let you know at lunch.

“Got it.  Where are we going?” you asked for the 100th time.  Bucky rolled his eyes and didn't answer.  “Fine.  What should I wear?”

“Hmm..” Bucky thought.  “Wear a T-shirt and shorts, like you did with Loki.  But we are going to be walking around a lot, so don't wear something uncomfortable.”

“Ok,” you said, walking to your room to get prepared.  Bucky thought he did a good job, not revealing too much about the date.  He liked keeping you guessing, it amused him more often than not.

~~~

As you were in your room, you paced back and forth from your closet to your bed.  You were stressed with not knowing anything about tonight.  But you were stressing out with the new feelings to your long time friend.  You didn't know if you were feeling them because of the upcoming date, or if you were making it up.  But you didn't have this on your date with Loki.  You had no clue, so you tried to ignore the feelings.  But they weren't letting up, getting you more and more nervous.  You tried to take deep breaths, and it worked.  So you focused your time on getting ready.

“What to wear, what to wear,” you muttered to yourself as you scanned your closet like a robot.  After a few minutes of rummaging around through heaps and heaps of clothes, you found a cute and comfortable outfit.  

You found a cute crop top that only exposed a small amount of your stomach.  It was low cut, but not too revealing.  It was a black t-shirt, and it was your favorite shirt because it looked really good on you, at least you thought.  You always felt a bit more confident whenever you wore it, and you knew you might need it for tonight.  

You also found a pair of super soft cotton shorts.  They were a dark, camo-like green.  They didn't have camo print, just dark green and a white lining.  You adored the shorts because they were the softest thing you owned, besides another sweatshirt you owned.  They were mid-waisted and were a little revealing on your ass.  But you loved the way the shorts made you feel, like any man would fall for you by just looking at you.

You found a pair of black Adidas sneakers, which would be good for walking.  You didn't put on any jewelry, since you weren't a big fan of it.  You only wore it at the concert because it was a concert, you wanted to look decent.  You left your hair down again, letting the natural curls and waves have a mind of their own.  After a couple flips of your hair, you had the look you wanted.  

Then you moved on to your makeup.  Since you would be walking a lot, you thought you might sweat a bit, so you didn't put too much on.  Only a bit of foundation to hide some blemishes on your skin, a tiny amount of blush and mascara.  You didn't like wearing makeup either, since your time in the mountains saw no need for it.  You didn't understand how people took hours and hours for makeup, and at the end of the night, they would have to wipe it off and do it all again the next day. 

When you finished, you took one final look in the mirror and you thought you looked amazing.  Your confidence soared through the roof as you checked yourself out.  

“Doll, its time,” Bucky knocked at your door.  “You ready?”

You got scared and flinched in front of the mirror.  You were not expecting time to fly that fast.  

“Yeah Bucky, i'll be down in a minute.” you answered, not trying to show that he scared you.

“Ok, I'll wait by the front door,” Bucky said.  You heard his footsteps fade as he left, and you took a sigh of relief.  You grabbed a small, black backpack, just to store your phone and some money since you had no clue what to expect.  You checked yourself out in the mirror one last time as you put on some lip gloss.  Then you put the lip gloss away and headed out of your room.

~~~  

Bucky stood anxiously by the door.  He wore a pair of shorts and a black Brooklyn logo shirt. The shirt was a little snug on him, so it made his biceps pop out a little more.  He didn't bother covering his metal arm.  He wasn't used to having it out in the open, especially in public.  But he always was comfortable with his arm around you, so he thought it would be the same with you anywhere.  He was not going to let strangers ruin his night with you.  His hair was down and he wore a pair of black Nike’s.  He had on his signature dog tags and in his pockets, he had his phone, which he barely knew how to use, and some money for the date.  But, like a true gentleman, he had a bouquet of red roses in his hands.  He never showed up to a date without flowers.  He knew his manners and class, and if he didnt, he knew his momma would reprimand him for not being a gentleman.

“What is taking her so long?” Bucky said out loud.  

“Don't get your hopes up, Wiener Soldier,” Loki said, smugly.  He was hoping to mess with Bucky before it was too late.

“Shut it, you Lord of the Rings looking ass,” Bucky said, not giving two shits for Loki's mind games.  Loki walked away, hoping that would do something to Bucky.

Then, you appeared from the hallway.  Bucky had to do a double take because, Jesus, you looked fine.  You looked so confident and proud of yourself that Bucky was in awe.  He loved a woman that walked with a purpose.  You looked perfect in his eyes.  He smiled as you came closer to him.  His heart fluttered as he realized he would be with you.  The person his heart had fallen for since he first saw you.

You saw Bucky standing there, the roses in hand.  Bucky's eyes looked brighter than ever, full of excitement and adventure.  He looked nice in his outfit.  You never saw him out in public with his metal arm showing, so it was a shock for you when it was on full display.  You also saw his muscles poking out of the shirt, and you tried your hardest not to stare.  

“You look like a dreamboat, toots,” Bucky gushed, using a ton of 40s slang.  You blushed, since you knew what they meant.  Anyone would know what those terms meant, but two years ago, Bucky taught all the slang he knew.  

“So do you,” you replied, smiling.  

“These are for you, doll,” Bucky said as he handed the flowers to you. 

“Thanks Bucky, you didn't have too,” you said.

“Well if I didn't, I know my momma would bust my chops,” Bucky said, chuckling.  You laughed with him.  You loved when his Brooklyn accent came through.

“Cmon lets get going,” Bucky said, leading you out the door.  

~~~

“Ok Bucky, where are we going?” you asked again in the car.

“You'll find out when we get there,” Bucky replied.

“Ok, when will we get there?” you asked, hoping for an answer this time.

“Bout 30 minutes,” Bucky answered to your relief.  “Ok I wanna quiz you on something.”

“Ooo car games, I love those,” you said, gaining interest.

“Lets see how much 40s slang you remember.” Bucky said, looking at you.

“Thats easy, I’ll quiz ya too,” you said. 

“You got a lotta moxie.  Ladies first,” Bucky said, placing his hand on your thigh.  This was the first time he had ever done this.  You were a little shocked at first and froze for a moment, but you weren't asking him to move it.  His warm hand felt so comforting on you.  You just wanted to let it sit there forever.  So you put your hand on top of his.  

Bucky took his eyes off the road for a minute, just to look at you and your hand on his.  If he said he wasn't over the moon right now, he would be lying.  He felt like he was on cloud-9.  

“Ok what does ‘beef’ mean?” you asked.

“It means a disagreement.  That was easy, doll,” Bucky said.

“Go, Buck,” you sighed.

“Fine.  What does ‘brown nose’ mean?” Bucky asked, his blue eyes shining into yours.  You took a second to think, but you didn't remember.

“I don't know, bucky.” you sighed in shame.  

“Haha! One for Bucky.  Zip for Y/N.” Bucky celebrated.   

“Don't celebrate too early, punk,” you teased.  “What does it mean?”

“It means ass kisser,” Bucky explained, earning a “ohh” outta you.

“Name five things that mean ‘attractive’” you said.

“Are you doing this to mess with me and trick me into saying it about you?” Bucky questioned, getting suspicious.

“Yeah, now answer,” you answered, unashamed.  Bucky rolled his eyes, getting a laugh out of you.

“Ok, first is ‘honey’. ‘Bombshell’ is one, so is ‘babe’.  Then, ‘20-20’ and… dreamboat.” Bucky answered.

“Good job.  Your turn.” you smiled.

“Since you did it to me, I'll do it to you.” Bucky mocked.  

“Fine.  ‘Casanova’, ‘doll’ is one, ‘drooly’, ‘glamour puss’, ‘glad lad’ and ‘heaven sent’.” you responded.  Bucky took his hands off the wheel and applauded you, which you laughed.  

“Good job, doll,” Bucky grinned.  “Now I have two questions for you.”

“Which are?” you asked.

“First is what's your favorite slang?” Bucky said.

“I think ‘toots’” you answered.

“Second, use 5 terms to describe me.” Bucky said.  He wanted to know what you thought about him, but he didnt wanna ask you straight up.  He wanted to make you at ease and have fun with you before asking.

“Ok then do the same for me,” you teased.

“Fine, go,” Bucky agreed.

“‘Fuddy-duddy’, ‘hot shot’, ‘heaven sent’, ‘camp happy’ and ‘blow joe’.” you answer.

“Really? Fuddy-duddy?” Bucky sighed.

“What? It's true!  You are old fashioned,” you mocked.

“Whatever,” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Now you have to do it for me,” you fluttered your eyes to mess with him, earning a glare from him.

“‘Dreamboat’ obviously, ‘camp happy’, ‘a crack up’, ‘date bait’ and ‘divine,” Bucky said, looking at you with his hand still on your thigh.

“Aww you're so sweet,” you blushed.

“It's the truth, sugar,” Bucky smiled.  

You looked out the window for a second and saw something in the distance.  It was a ferris wheel.

“Bucky are we going to a carnival?” you asked.

“Yep,” he smiled.  You squealed and thanked Bucky till you got to the fair.  There were a ton of people there already, and you knew more would show up later tonight.  

“What time are we staying till?” you asked.  It was already 5:40pm and you and Bucky were walking up to the ticket booth.

“Till it closes, or whenever you get tired,” Bucky said, holding your hand.

“Till it closes.  I don't think I'll get tired from all the sugar we will be eating.” you admitted.  You both laughed and then you were up at the ticket counter.  Bucky bought bracelets for the both of you.  They allow you to stay for as long as you want and to go on unlimited rides for unlimited times.  They also cost a lot of money.  You tried to buy your own bracelet, but Bucky insisted on paying.

“I’m paying for dinner,” you insisted.

“No I am,” Bucky said.

“I am,” you bickered.  

You bickered all the way to the entrance, where you and Bucky stopped.  You stood marveling all the flashing lights and rides.  You already had a list in your head for what to do.  You loved how everyone here was happy and enjoying themselves.  You couldn't wait for night to come, because then all the lights would be flashing even brighter.  And less families would be there, which meant shorter lines. 

“What do you wanna do first?” Bucky asked, looking at the lights as well.  

“Lets eat, if you want,” you said.

“No, I'm always hungry too,” Bucky said.

“Great, because Loki took forever to eat.”

Bucky laughed as he took your hand.  You both ran into the fair like children as you searched for food.  You found a pizza stand and took two slices.  Bucky found a hot dog stand and took two ‘Coney Island Chili Dogs.’  When you saw what he ordered, your mouth watered a little bit.  Bucky took note very quickly.

“You know what doll?  You can take one of mine and I'll take one of yours.” Bucky proposed.

“That's smart,” you agreed.  You ate the pizza first and then the chili dog.  The chili dog took the longest, since you didn't want to ruin your outfit.  You had to lean over the platter the whole time to prevent stains.  

Bucky took a different approach.  Since the cooks put a lot of chili on the hotdog, Bucky found a different use for the access chili.  He took the extra and put it on top of his pizza, which you looked at him in disgust.

“What?” he asked when he saw you staring at him, food stuffed in his mouth.

“Nothing,” you lied.  He gave you a smirk, almost like he knew what he did, and continued eating.  He finished quickly, a little faster than you.  Almost like it was a competition, Bucky gave a little victory “woohoo” and you sighed, finishing your food.

“Congrats Buck, you ate faster than me,” you said sarcastically.

“Do I get a medal?” Bucky asked, playfully.  You chuckled as he took your hand, leading you further into the fair.

“Whats up first, sugar?” he asked.

“Why don't we play some games?  I don't wanna throw up on you in the Gravation,” you admitted.

“Sure, anything you want,” Bucky said.  “Which do you wanna play first?”

“Let's do the balloon and dart game,” you decided.

“This way, doll.” Bucky said, taking your arm and leading you to the famous game.  When you got there, not many people were there.  Only two others were in front of you, and they were fairly quick.  After they finished playing, the carnie saw you and got your attention.

“Hey there!  Wanna play?” he asked.

“How much?” Bucky asked, getting to the point.

“If you want three darts, 5 bucks, if you want five darts, 8 bucks,” the carnie answered.  Bucky got some money out of his pocket and paid $16 dollars in total.  The carnie handed you both 5 darts and then he moved out of the way.

“Ready, set, go!” the carnie shouted.  Then you and Bucky looked at each other, eyes full of determination.  Bucky threw his darts very quickly, and he only missed one.  Meanwhile, you took your time and got all five.  

“Congratulations, you two!” the carnie cheered.  “What do each of ya want?”  You and Bucky looked around at all of the options.

“Which can we pick?” Bucky asked.

“The miss next to ya can pick anything she wants,” the carnie explained.  “You can pick anything, just not something on the top row.”  The one Bucky was eyeing was on the top row, and he sulked in disappointment.  He saw a Spiderman inflate that he thought was really funny.  You found a small, tye-dye teddy bear that caught your eye.  You thought it was adorable, and you really wanted it.

“Bucky, if I get you the Spiderman, can you get me that bear?” you asked, with puppy dog eyes.

“Sure, toots,” Bucky smiled at you.  The carnie heard you discussing and got the prizes ready for you.  As you both said thank you, the carnie eyed you suspiciously, trying to figure out if you were dating or not.

“Any other games?”  Bucky asked as you walked away from the game.  You were about to answer when Bucky completely turned his attention to the mechanical bull a couple feet away. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but I was the best at that in ‘38,” Bucky said.

“You can do it, it's fine,” you smiled.  “But I'm paying.”

“No you're not,” Bucky said, before he sprinted off, trying to get there first so you wouldn't pay.  You ran after him, but Bucky and his stupid super soldier serum beat you there.  He got the money out of his pocket and handed it to another carnie.  

“Good luck,” you said as you took the Spiderman out of his arms.  He smiled back at you and headed up to the bull.  The carnie counted him down and then the bull started moving.  At first it was easy, Bucky had his right arm on the handle to keep him steady.  But after a minute or so, the carnie made it a lot harder.  Twisting and turning at high speeds, Bucky switched his right hand to the metal one, for a firmer grip.  He almost fell off after one really fast turn, but his left arm still held on to the handle.  His right arm was holding the side of the bull and he was able to readjust himself in time for the next spin.  After five minutes, he was still on the bull.  Bucky didn't even realise the crowd that was starting to form around you.  Everyone marveled as Bucky wouldn't dare to fall off the bull.  People around you cheered him on.  Even the carnie was shocked and tried his hardest to get Bucky to fall.  But it wasn't going to happen. 

After another 15 minutes, the carnie announced that Bucky had beaten the record for the mechanical bull, but Bucky still wasn't going to get off.  People cheered him on, but not as loud as you.  Your cheers were fuel for Bucky and the more you cheered, the more he wanted to stay on.  But, he didn't want to keep you waiting the whole night, so after 10 more minutes, he fell off the bull.  As he walked out of the pit, people cheered for him, earning a smile out of him.

“Congrats sir, that's the best bull riding I've ever seen,” the carnie said.  “Here's your prize of $200 bucks cash.  Everyone give it up for.. What's your name?”

“Bucky,” Bucky answered.

“Bucky everyone!” the carnie cheered.  Everyone joined in with cheers and applause.  You smiled at him, full of pride and happiness.  Bucky smiled and planted a kiss on your head, which you blushed at.  

“How long was he on for?” you asked.

“Your boyfriend here was on for 32 minutes and 48 seconds.” the carnie said.

“Wow,” you said.  “You are the best at that.”

“I know,” Bucky said.  As you walked away, other guys had gone up to Bucky, giving him a celebratory high five or pat on the back.  Even some girls had gone up and tried to flirt with him.  But Bucky said that he was with you, obviously, but that didn’t stop the girls from at least trying to get with him.

“Now we have enough money to eat anything and play as many games as we want,” Bucky said.

“If you didn't win that, we might have had to use some of the money I bought,” you said.

“Impossible,” Bucky chuckled.  “Now I think we can go on some rides.”

The night flew by, and it was already 10:30.  Bucky had taken you on the Ferris Wheel, Cliff Hanger, Frisbee, Fun House, Wipeout, Gravation, Tornado and the Swings.  You tried to get him to go on the Zipper, but he swore he would never get on that ‘deathtrap’ as he called it.  As you went on the rides, you were able to fit your teddy bear into your bag, but the Spiderman was causing some trouble.  You had to leave it outside on some rides, which you thought it might get stolen, but that luckily didn't happen.  Then he took you on the Swings, your favorite ride of all.  And then, he took you on the Bumper cars, his favorite ride.  You both laughed and had fun the whole night, but he still had some other things he wanted to do.

“Doll, before we go, there's two more things I wanna do before the night ends,” Bucky said.

“And what might that be?” you asked.

“I wanna play the High Striker game an-” Bucky started.

“Do you wanna play that game to show how strong you are?” you mocked.

“Maybe,” he admitted and you laughed.  

“I wanna do the shooting game before it's too late.” you said.  “I wanna see if I can shoot better than you.”

“We already know the answer to that question,” Bucky smirked and you hit him playfully in the arm.  “But we can do that after we have some dessert.”

“You read my mind.” you chuckled.  “Lets eat.”

Bucky took you to some of the concession stands around the fair, which you both indulged in so much sugar that it would give you diabetes.  Bucky bought both of you a plate of zeppolis, your favorite carnival food, and you bought a bag of fried oreos.  You also bought a thing of cotton candy.  After you thought no more eating, Bucky came back with a bowl of gelato.  All of the hunger in you resurfaced and you and him ate it, licking your lips once you finished.

“That was the best dessert ever,” Bucky said.

“Agreed, now we gotta play some games, it's already 11,” you said, trying to get Bucky to move.  He grudgingly got up and followed you to the High Striker game.  Bucky pointed at the bell at the top, as if saying ‘watch out’.  

“Wanna test your strength?” the carnie running the game asked.

“How much?” Bucky brushed off, getting the money from his pockets.  

“For one swing, 3 bucks.  For three swings, 5 bucks.” the carnie said.

“Three swings,” Bucky said, handing the carnie the 5 dollars.  The carnie handed him a sledgehammer and backed away.  The carnie told you to move back so Bucky could practice his swing, and you did.  Bucky practiced his swing about three times before he was ready.

He swung his arms back and hit the pad.  He got really close to the bell, just a few inches off.  Bucky swore under his breath as he got ready for his next swing.  The next one was stronger, but not close enough again.  He grunted as he saw it didn't hit the bell.

“Cmon Bucky!  You got this!” you cheered, hoping to boost his confidence.  When he heard you, you were like gasoline to him, giving him the fuel to hit it the hardest.  He swung down for the final time with a loud grunt.  The little knob had so much force behind it that it hit the bell.  Not only that, but it flew off the railing that was keeping it in place.  You and the carnie looked at each other in shock.  Bucky took a deep breath, and looked at you sheepishly.

“What the hell?” the carnie said.  “Well, um, pick your prize.”  

Bucky looked around at the options and found one that you were looking at.  You were looking at a stuffed llama as tall as a counter.  The llama, in your eyes, was even cuter than the bear.  It had pink and blue fur in little patches.  It also had little specks of yellow fur.  It had a little smile plastered on its face and it just looked too adorable to be real.

“The llama please,” Bucky asked.  You smiled at him and gave him a big hug, your arms wrapping around his muscular torso.

“Thanks, Bucky,” you said as your head was pressed against his chest.

“Welcome, sugar,” Bucky responded as he grabbed the llama from the carnie.  You snatched the stuffed animal from his hands and held the toy in your arms, cuddling at.  As the two of you walked away, you heard the carnie in the background telling the people next in line “sorry the things broken.”  Then you heard an angry man yelling at the carnie, saying “That's Bullshit!” and “You just want to go home and not do your job!”  

You and Bucky laughed as you headed to the last game of the night, then you would be going on Bucky's ride of choice.  You ran through the crowd of teens and made your way to the shooting game.  This carnie looked cheerful, more happy than the others that you have seen.

“Hey there!  How's your night going for you two?” the carnie asked.

“Good, how's your going?” you asked in a cheery mood, still clinging to the stuffed llama.

“So far, no winners tonight, but maybe you and your boyfriend can change that,” the carnie smirked.

“Oh, we aren't,” you started.

“It's ok, you don't have to admit it,” the carnie asked.  “By the way, the game costs 20 dollars per player.”

“What?” Bucky asked.  “That's ridiculous for a damn shooting game!”        

“Sorry sir, I don't make the rules.  It's priced so high because you get a lot of pellets to shoot and if you win, you get a huge prize.” the carnie said.  

“It's ok, I'll pay for mine and his,” you said, getting the money out of your bag.

“No I am,” Bucky said, racing to his pockets before you got your money.  But you beat him and he sighed in surrender, muttering how his momma would kill him if she were alive.  You handed the money to the carnie and the carnie set up the guns, ammo and targets.  

“You can go first, Buck,” you said, nudging him forward.  “I wanna see what exactly I'm going against.”

“You're gonna regret that,” Bucky snickered as he prepped the gun, leveling it at his shoulders.  There wasn't a scope on the gun, but there was an eyeliner for him to aim.  The target was a big, red star, which you laughed at in your head since Bucky had a star just like it on his arm.  

Then, he started shooting at the target.  The objective is to get the star completely off the target.  It has to fall to the floor, off the paper completely.  Bucky shot at the edges of the star trying to get the corners free.  Then he circled around the star, aiming at the star with such precision that you got worried you would lose against him, and you hated to lose.  Then, after a few minutes, Bucky ran out of ammo.  The carnie pulled the lever, bringing the target closer for you and Bucky to see.

“You were really close,” the carnie sighed.  Bucky took the target and saw that he had gotten completely around the star.  But there was a problem: one of the edges was still dangling off the paper.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Bucky grunted, running his right arm through his hair.  “This has to be a winner.”

“Sorry, sir.  But the star has to be completely off the paper,” the carnie said.  Bucky sighed and muttered something about how this was rigged.

“Your turn, doll,” Bucky said, giving the carnie a glare.  

You handed the carnie your money and he set you up exactly like Bucky.  Once the carnie was finished, he gave you a thumbs up and you started blasting.  You followed Bucky's example, starting at the corners of the star and working your way around.  You were careful to not pull the trigger too hard or else too many bullets would come out.  You had something in your head that said, “you have to beat Bucky, you have to win.”  Bucky was a master assassin and for him to lose helped boost your confidence as you continued to aim.  The star was starting to fall off, hanging off by a tiny edge of the paper.  But, luckily, you didn't have the same problem as Bucky, you had more pellets left.  You used those to your advantage and blasted the red star off the paper.  It fell to the ground, completely covered in bullet holes.  

The carnie stood there, completely in awe at how well you had done, and you still had bullets inside the gun after you finished.  Bucky was frozen like a statue.  His hands were glued to his hair, his eyes were coming out of his head and his mouth was to the floor.  The carnie gave you your target, and whispered to you “I knew you could beat him,” causing you to giggle as you scanned the booth for a prize.  Your eyes settled on a Captain America head.  Not a real one, a stuffed one.  You thought it was funny and grabbed it from the carnies hand.  As you and Bucky left the carnie said a congrats to you and hung your target on the wall with the other lucky winners.

As you walked, not knowing where you would be going, you got scared because Bucky hasn't said a word yet.

“Bucky you ok?” 

“Yeah doll, yeah,” he said.  “I just can't believe I lost.”

“Oh cmon dont be a sore loser,” you nudged him, making him laugh.

“Also I can't believe I fell in love with a girl like you, and I didnt even know she could hold a gun like that,” he blushed, brushing some hair out of his face.  He gripped your hand and led you to the ride he had been waiting for since the beginning of the night.

“Wait, you love me?” you asked.

“Why do you think you're here with me, doll?  Why do you think me and Loki are fighting for you?” Bucky asked. 

“Well… um,” you froze.  You had no clue about how you felt about Bucky yet.  One part of you loved him, the way he loved you.  But something else was fighting that feeling, seeing him only as a close friend.  Bucky sensed your nerves and held you closer to him.

“It's ok, you don't have to respond.” Bucky said, easing your mind.  “I'm gonna make you say those words before Loki gets the chance.” 

You laughed at him.  “I'd like to see ya try,” you sassed.

“Toots, just wait,” he smirked.

“Wait what ride are we going on?” 

“Well we are right in front of it, so it's a dead give away,” he said.  Without realizing it, you were right in front of the ride.  It was a dimmed ride, more like a boat ride.  The walls were covered in pink and red hearts and the boats were white swans.  The arches leading into the ride were hearts and three words were illuminated in front of your eyes.  “Tunnel of Love.”

“Oh my god,” you said.

“Cmon, it's not like anything is going to happen,” Bucky said, leading you to the swan.  The carnie controlling the ride took the stuffed toys and your bag from you to leave on the side.  She gave Bucky a thumbs up, letting him know nothing would happen to your belongings, but maybe for something else.  

You squirmed as you sat next to him, and the carnie buckled you into the ride.  A million things were running through your mind.  You didn't know if you should tell Bucky before the ride starts to not try anything.  You didn't know if you would let anything happen.  You didn't know if, even, anything would happen.  You assumed something would happen because, look who you're sitting next to.  Bucky was a ladies man, and he probably took other gals on the ride in the past.

“Doll, I assure you.  I won’t do anything unless you allow me to,” Bucky said, putting his right arm behind your back, for you to use as a pillow.  You settled into his body and then the doors swung open, leading you inside the ride.  

At first, there was nothing that would suggest anything bad would happen.  There was a little romantic garden, the one that would show up in a romantic movie.  There were little hedges and statues of Cupid with his love bow and arrows.  There were tons of roses and smooth jazz was playing in the background.

“This is music,” Bucky smiled.  The music playing tonight was mostly tons of pop music, which he hated and thought was annoying as hell.  So this for him was soothing.  It soothed you too, but not as much as it did for Bucky.  

Then there was another set of doors, and it led you into the next part of the ride.  This part was very dark.  There wasn't a lot of light, and it didn't look like anything was inside.  You got scared and found yourself leaning into Bucky more.  He didn't mind and eased into your touch.  

Suddenly, something, maybe a bat or something, you couldn't tell, popped out of nowhere.  Then a hissing sound and a scream played in the background.  You screamed and your head was buried on Bucky's chest.

“Hey, hey, it's ok.  It's not real, it's fake.  It's going to be ok,” Bucky soothed you.  He took the arm you were resting on and cradled you in it as you were in fear on his chest.  His right hand was rubbing circles around your back while his left was playing with your hair.  You stayed there, in that sense of comfort, that sense of belonging, that sense of peace, for a little bit longer.  You picked your head up at him, only to see steel blue eyes looking back at you.  They seemed like a haven to you, like a home that you could rest in.

“I’m sorry Bucky,” you apologized.

“For what? You didn't do anything,” he said confused.  Your faces were only inches away from each other, and you could feel his breath, smelling like sugar and cotton candy.

“When are we going to do something about this… unspoken thing between us?” Bucky whispered.

“There's no unspoken thing,” you whispered back.  At this moment, you doubted that Bucky was wrong.  Because this has never happened to you and him before.  

“Liar,” Bucky smiled, his lips only centimeters from yours.

“Prove it,” you challenged back.  The next thing he did took your breath away, literally.  He leaned into you to close that gap keeping you apart.  He kissed your lips tenderly, making sure you wouldn't back off.  His eyes were closed, savoring every moment.  

At first, you were in shock, frozen by fear.  Your eyes were open, trying to process everything.  But the longer he remained on your lips, you weren't doing anything to stop him, and you felt your eyes flutter shut.  You kissed him back, relishing in the feeling of his plump, pink lips on yours.  You were on each other for so long that you didn't realize that you entered the final room of the ride.  Then you and him separated, gasping for air.    

“Did I prove it?” Bucky mocked. 

“Maybe,” you grinned.  

And you leaned back into him.  You slowly moved onto his lap, for the remainder of the ride.  One of your hands cupped his cheek while the other was lazily tangling his hair.  His hands were gripped on your waist.  His tongue was stretching on your lips, trying to get in.  You obliged and your tongues danced together to some unknown rhythm.  You could taste the sugar on his tongue.  As you played with his hair, he let out a moan.  As he did, he could feel you smiling through the kiss.  

Then, Bucky peeked open his eyes and saw the exit approaching.  He didn't want people to see you making out, and as much as he hated it, he had to get you off of him.

“Doll, we gotta go,” Bucky urged.  You realized what he meant and before anyone saw, you slid off his lap and fixed your hair.  You both left the ride and headed to his car, eager to get home.

“Wow, that was amazing,” you sighed, settling into your seat with all the toys and your bag in the backseat.

“I have to agree.  You took my breath away, dreamboat,” Bucky quipped.

“Same, and you were a dreamboat back there as well,” you grinned.  Bucky placed his hand back on your thigh, and you placed yours on top of his, just like before.  But it wasn't to be friendly like the first time, but something more.

“Ya know, doll, I wasn't expecting to be necking,” Bucky chuckled as you drove off.

“I gotta say, you got a lotta moxie for that,” you laughed.

“You almost gave me the hots back there, sugar,” 

“Did I now?” you teased.  “Well too bad you can't do anything about that.”

“Shame.  Stupid bet.” he sighed.

“Oh wait, don't tell Loki about this,” you said.  “He will flip and probably do something to us.  Or you.”

“You got it.” he agreed.  “But if he does find out, or do something, what then?”

“To get honest, I don't know.  But you've still got one more date left to truly convince me.  And so does Loki.”

“I didn't convince you?” Bucky gasped.

“Not enough,” you teased, laughing at him as you drove home.  

Bucky helped you get the stuffed animals and your bag and helped you back to your room.  You took the llama, teddy bear and your bag back.  He held onto the Captain America head and Spiderman inflatable.  He gave you a kiss on the forehead before you bade each other goodnight.  

As the door closed behind you, you sighed, letting out a small howl, releasing all the emotions you felt tonight.  Your back fell to the door, and your knees gave out, leaving you against the door.

“Wow,” you sighed.

~~~

Bucky walked back to his room with a little pep in his step.  He was in a much happier mood than normal.  He was singing to himself and smiling all the way back to his room.  His hair was messed up, but he didn’t care.

But someone was watching him.  Loki.  Loki saw how messed up Bucky's hair was.  He saw the things Bucky didn't.  Like the lipstick that was on his cheek.

Then Loki felt angry.  But it wasn't even anger.  It was hatred, fury and rage.  It was boiling inside him and he didn't know what to do with himself.  But then, that God of Mischief mindset kicked in.  And he had an idea.  An evil, wicked, horrible idea.  One that would change everything.

“Oh, well,” Loki talked to himself.  “I wanted to play nice.  But you broke the rules.  And you know what happens when you break the rules.  You feel my wrath.” 

[alma-berry]

Kit’s Secret Fire Message # 18

Masterlist   1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

Ty was never scared of the dark. He was a Shadowhunter, and as much as he saw himself as different from his kind in many ways, this was not one of them. Nonetheless, there was something eerie in the darkness of the Chislehurst Caves. It was complete, as if the walls themselves sucked every bit of light into them, leaving a blackness so profound Ty felt it seep into his bones.

The Caves weren’t actually caves, Ty knew. They were a set of incredibly long man-made tunnels, though they were so ancient no one really knew when exactly they were made. During the mundane World War II they were used as an air-raid shelter, and for a time, as a sort of city, populating up to fifty thousand people in the clammy, suffocating corridors and wide breaches of stone clearings.

Nowadays it was used as a popular tourist attraction, at least that’s what the internet told Ty who liked the mystery behind the caves far more than its known facts. At the moment, though, the caves were apparently closed for their yearly maintenance. Kit had stated that this sounded like “Utter rubbish” and that there was “no way in hell a place like that will lose a working day just to brush off some skulls or whatever”. Ty had agreed with him, though he doubted there were skulls in the caves.

As soon as they went underground, the faint, sweetly-sickening smell of demons filled the air. Kit tensed and drew a piece of paper from his pocket.

“Fire message” he whispered, and Ty understood. This was the right place, and there was no point in wasting time. The others will have a hard enough time to find them in this labyrinth, and they might as well give them as much of an early start as they could.

As they walked along the narrow passages, Ty looked at the odd shapes his witchlight casted on the walls. They revealed strange, face-like sculptures carved into the hard stone. He turned to tell so to Kit, and bumped right into him. There was hardly any room to walk side by side in these hallways, and Kit, who slammed his head right into Ty’s collarbones, reached a hand to rub his forehead, still far too close to Ty, or rather, not close enough. Ty casted that thought aside, it was probably not a good idea to dwell on Kit’s nearness at this moment.

As he moved his gaze from his face, it rested on his hand which was holding a witchlight. Ty’s stomach twitched with a jolt of familiarity.

“It’s the witchlight I gave you,” he whispered and grabbed Kit’s wrist with his hand. The second their hands touched, the witchlight flared brighter, making Kit blink in confusion.

“Yeah..” he answered and slowly pulled his hand away from Ty’s, an almost pained, regretful expression on his golden face.

“Why?” Ty could feel the flow of questions fighting to burst out of him, but he kept them under a tight leash, like his father failed to do with his fluttering hands when he was little.

Something softened in Kit’s posture as he looked up at Ty, and his voice was a feather on his skin as he answered “Because you gave it to me.”

They remained silence for a while after that, and Ty found that he enjoyed the silence. It gave him the opportunity to study Kit’s breathing and let his mind wander to earlier that day.

After they left Adam and Carl in their location, which was a large, inactive pumping station right across West Norwood Cemetery, they spent the remaining time in a slightly different silence.

The radio was on, and at a certain point Kit started singing along to a song Ty didn’t know, his hands sliding expertly on the warn leather of the wheel while his thumb drummed lightly to the rhythm of the song.

His voice was raspy, deeper than his speaking voice. He sang absentmindedly, like it was something he usually did, and Ty burned to ask him if it was so, but didn’t want him to stop singing. It was another revelation, another part of Kit that was presented to him as if they just met. Ty closed his eyes and let Kit’s voice find its way under his skin, flood his veins and up the stream of his thoughts, right into his heart. It grounded him.

Ty lifted his witchlight into the bleakness of the cave and wished Kit would start singing again. It wasn’t a rational wish, not in the middle of an underground maze of potentially dangerous tunnels with the angel knows how many demons lurking in it.. but Ty felt almost as if he needed it.

So when Kit spoke next, Ty was startled.

“Ty,” His voice sounded strained, as if suppressing an emotion Ty couldn’t see.

“How many miles did you say these caves has?”

“Why? Are you getting tired?”

Ty turned to look at him as they entered a large circular space, where in it’s end the path split in two. He quickly scanned him but saw no sign of anything but tensed concern.

“No, it’s not that.. but if it’s taking us so long to find the kids, Adam and pickle-dick could wander this place for hours. Plus, these mannequins they got scattered all around here are giving me the creeps.” He rubbed his arms like he was cold and scowled towards a small mannequin that looked like a little girl wearing a chequered patterned dress, a dark brown wig and held some sort of ragged looking stuffed cat. None of it interested Ty.

“Pickle-dick?” He stared at him with wry amusement.

“Yeah,” Kit grinned, and his face lit up like he swallowed his witchlight.

“You know, boney face, looks like a pickle.. usually referred to as Carl, or probably just ‘him’ by his poor mother.”

“I actually met his mother once. She did seem rather put off by him” Ty mused.

Kit chuckled as they passed by another intricate looking carving on a wall.

“You know,” he whispered as he looked at the tangled stone tentacles that wound in the centre of the carving, surrounded by demonic creatures and human ghosts.

“This place is actually quite perfect for the demon’s purposes.. it’s said it was once used for human sacrifices.”

Ty stared at him in confusion.

“It’s said? Who said it?”

“Umm, the internet, several articles I read and one very, very old YouTube video. I wouldn’t recommend it, unless you like poor video and sound quality.”

“You researched this place before we came?” Ty couldn’t hide the surprise in his voice.

“Yeah.. you did too, right?”

“I did,” Ty admitted. “Though I didn’t watch that YouTube video..”

He gave Kit a sideways smile and walked through the left path of the intersection.

“Something still bothers me about this whole abdication thing” Ty confessed.

“I don’t see how a group of Moloch demons could take so many children without harming them or raising some kind of alarm.. I know they can’t be seen, but the children were taken in such a clean manner, with no hint of a fight or any bloodshed. I don’t see how they could’ve done it alone.”

Kit didn’t look at him, but his hands hovered around his weapons belt, as if sensing an approaching danger.

After a moment, Ty felt it as well.

His natural enhanced hearing, combined with the rune he drew on himself before they left the institute allowed him to hear better than the average human being. What he heard right now sounded like the breathing of a really loud person, or several really quiet ones.

He and Kit exchanged a startled look, and simultaneously drew out their seraph blades.

“Nakir” Ty murmured, and entered a small sort of room that had four makeshift wooden bunk beds placed in the centre of it. He assumed they were a part of the historical artefacts that were displayed all through the tunnels. They also looked as if they were about to break at any second, a fact that wouldn’t have bother him if there weren’t fourteen sleeping kids sprawled all over them.

Ty immediately looked at Kit, his face as hard as marble, illuminated by the soft glow of his seraph blade. He made an almost imperceptible nod to the left, which Ty understood. They started surrounding the beds, looking for either a threat or an accomplice. They nearly finished a full circle when a small voice came from one of the beds.

“Who are you?” Croaked a pale, worried looking child that lay with his knees lifted up to his chin.

Ty lowered his blade and took a step back, not wanting to frighten the child. He expected, and rather hoped Kit would intervene. He had a warmth about him, an open friendliness Ty felt like he lacked himself. He would surely make the child feel more comfortable and trusting, whereas Ty didn’t manage strangers all that well. But Kit didn’t say a word, he didn’t even lower his blade. Ty couldn’t understand why, he acted as if the child was a threat to him.. but he had no time to waste on Kit’s puzzling behaviour. He faced the child again, and tried to speak in a soft, reassuring voice he always associated with Julian.

“Don’t be scared,” he whispered to the boy, looking straight into his dark, guarded eyes. “We’re here to help you. We want to take you all back to your families.”

The boy sat up on the creaking bed, taking great care not to wake the other children beside him. To his right lay a girl, her hair a tangle mess of dirty blonde curls. She was holding a filthy blanket that was probably pink once, and now was just a faded grey rag.

“Are you with them? With the monsters?”

The little boy asked, and Ty’s heart clenched as he saw how thin and frail he looked.

“No, we’re not. We’re here to save you from them. Would you help us?”

The boy just looked at him for a long moment, in which Ty wondered whether he said the right thing, or said it the right way. Kit’s silence still bothered him, but he forced himself to hold the boy’s gaze until he was convinced they were there to help him.

Finally, he nodded, and leaped from the bed unto the dusted floor.

“Can you tell us where they are? The monsters? Are they nearby?”

The boy shook his head, “No. They brought us here a few days ago and left. We tried to look for a way out but everything looks the same. One boy ran away to look for help but he never came back. There is only dark all the time.”

Ty heard Kit take a step towards them and relaxed minutely, good, he thought. Kit will know what to say to him.

But when Kit spoke, his voice wasn’t kind or reassuring. If Ty didn’t know better, he would have thought Kit sounded suspicious, but it made no sense to him.

“How did they bring you here? Was it someone in particular? The monsters?”

“Kit!” Ty hissed. The boy looked at Kit, a frightened expression on his small face, and Ty didn’t blame him.. there was a coldness to Kit voice. How could he demand answers from a boy who was obviously terrified, living what was probably his worst nightmare?

“I.. I don’t remember. It was all dark and when I woke up again I was here. One girl had a small toy that made lights so we could see a little of where we were, but the light stopped working and it was only dark again.” The boy spoke in a fast sort of panic, his words tumbling over each other, and Ty’s heart went out to him. How could Kit not see how frightened he was?

“It’s alright, we trust you.” He gave the boy a small smile and took a step towards him. The boy tensed, but didn’t move away from him.

“Could you help us wake up the other children? We need to do it very quickly and quietly.. so we wouldn’t be overheard.”

The boy nodded and turned towards one of the beds.

Ty went to Kit and whispered so the boy wouldn’t hear him.

“What’s wrong? Why are you acting like this? He’s just a boy.”

But Kit didn’t look at him, his fathomless blue eyes were still fixed on the boy’s back.

“I don’t know, Ty.. something’s wrong with-“

“Kit, he’s a little boy, like my brother, like your sister.”

With that, Kit’s eyes lifted to meet his. Ty didn’t linger on them, he tried to take in the entirety of his reaction, but the vulnerability was sudden and plain on his face. He must love her, his sister. Ty understood that more than anything else, and his anger at Kit’s behaviour was gone.

“Yeah.. you’re right.” His voice was low but clear. He took a step back from Ty and went to face the boy in the bed.

“I’m just going to check that there really isn’t anyone around, okay?” He spoke directly to him, and if sensing the boy’s anxiety, he took the witchlight from his pocket and waved it.

“Don’t worry Kid, I have my special light with me.” Kit smiled at him, his open, honest smile, the one that tasted like hot chocolate on a wintery day.

“Do you wanna hold it?” He offered the hand that held the luminous stone, but the boy only shook his head, almost in a panic. Ty thought he’d seen true fear in his eyes, but it was probably just from the strangeness of the situation. Mundane children didn’t know what witchlight was, and this poor child must have already seen his share of magic to be startled by a simple matter of a glowing stone.

“No? Don’t worry about it. I’ll be right back.”

As soon as Kit left, Ty turned to the boy who was still rummaging the ragged pieces of fabric on the bed.

“Let’s start waking them up, okay?” The boy nodded and half turned to Ty, his right hand still clutching the dirty sheets.

“You wake them and I’ll wake them” he pointed at the other bed, and then at his.

“Okay,” Ty whispered. “But remember to be quiet.”

Something flickered at the boy’s eyes, a flash of brightness in the almost complete blackness of their surface. Ty feared the boy was crying, but as he lifted his face to look at the upper bunk of the bed, his eyes were dry and dark as they were a second ago.

Ty sighed in relief and turned towards the second bed. It had four children huddled on the base of it, two of them clutching each other’s hands as if for dear life. Ty examined their faces more closely; they were a boy and a girl, both with short brown hair and delicate, almost porcelain-like features. Their cheeks were puffed with the softness of infancy, round and blotched with the remains of tears and dirt. With an ache he knew far too well, he realised they were twins.

His hands flew to his neck, where usually the chord of his earphones would have been, but of course, he didn’t take them with him.. but Livvy’s pendant was there, and Kit’s. He traced his fingers over the etchings and felt its coldness right down at his heart.

The memories were always there, it wasn’t as if they suddenly fell back upon him. The loss he had suffered was not something that he could ever forget, and even though Livvy was still with him, the sight of the twins tiny hands in one another’s hurt like it did in those blurred, dark days before he brought Livvy’s ghost back, when it was only him. Him, the bleeding hollowness in his chest, and the warm firmness of Kit’s hand on his.

He reached out to touch the sleeping siblings, wanting to wake them, wondering if their eyes also had the blue-green colour his sister had, has, when a small shadow fell on him from behind.

Ty started to turn, half expecting to see Livvy by his side, when he realised two things. The first was that Livvy had no shadow anymore - she was a ghost. The second was that the room was utterly silent. He didn’t hear even a the faintest whisper of a name, no rustle of clothes or small feet hitting the ground. It was as if the entire room had stopped breathing.

With a sinking feeling in his chest, he turned to see the small figure of the boy, a bloody longsword in his small hand, his eyes an opaque white, clear of any pupil.

Only shock explained the slowness of his movement, the dull refusal of his hands to take any sort of weapon, to defend himself in any sort of way.

By the time Ty’s hands found their way to his seraph blade, the boy’s hands already swung the blade with a force that didn’t match his small figure, ready to lay down the blow.

Ty wanted to throw himself onto the sleeping children on the bed, but before he could make a move, a flash of white erupted from the boy’s small ribcage. With a violent twitch of his slim body, the boy fell to his knees, the longsword still clutched in his hand, and by the time he hit the floor, the only thing that had remained of him was a pile of coal black ash, and the silvery glint of the sword.

Ty lifted his gaze from the ashes, shaken down to his core, and met Kit’s eyes. They were blazing like a lightning storm, and Ty let himself get caught in them, in the fierce illumination that was Kit. He felt his knees buckle under him, but Kit was there in an instant, holding him up.

He held him, strong and solid like iron. In that moment, Ty felt like he was fifteen again, lost in the abyss of his own desperate pain, with Kit being the only person tethering him to the ground.

It took a while until he realised Kit was talking to him, no, not talking to him. He was whispering his name. As if Ty needed to hear it, to remember it, and who he was.

“I’m so sorry, Ty.. I’m so sorry.”

Ty found his voice, but it sounded as if it came from the bottom of a well.

“Why are you sorry?”

Kit didn’t look at him, he only stared at the scattering ashes at his feet like they were his damnation.

He whispered a single word, the only word there ever was.

“Livvy”.

Ty understood. He had seen his sister on the edge of the dais, the jagged remains of the mortal sword blooming red from her chest like a poisonous crown of roses.

He tightened his hold on Kit, willing him to look away from the memory, from what he thought he saw in the black nothingness of the past.

“How did you know? How did you know he was an Eidolon demon?”

Kit looked away from the floor and moved as if to untangle himself from Ty, but Ty only tighten his hold on him.

“I’m not sure.. It was what you said right before we found him.. and,” Kit whispered, a dazed expression unravelling on his face. “And I think I could feel it.”  

Ty was stared at him with confusion.

“But.. how?” He whispered at Kit’s flushed cheek. “We’re Shadowhunters, we don’t have that sort of power.”

Kit didn’t answer, or look back at Ty. After several moments of silence, he only shook his head.

Ty couldn’t tell if it was to indicate that he agreed with Ty, that Shadowhunters indeed didn’t have any way of sensing demonic activity without the help of a sensor or some other enchanted device, or whether he was telling Ty that he wasn’t going to tell him anything else.

Ty considered the two options, as he had in the past few days.

Kit had a secret, a big, probably dangerous one. Ty had already tried to find out what it was, to follow him like he was just another case on his list, another way to show his abilities, his cleverness. But this was Kit, not some nameless number he had to file into his notes when he was done with it.. and as he looked up at him, at the beautiful man that was holding him, his eyes closed, the sharp lines of his cheekbones casting shadows over the arched bow of his lip, Ty knew he had already made his choice, and that it was the right one.

He chose Kit, not the secrets that he was hiding.

Ty took a slow, deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of Kit, and let himself have that moment, however long it may be. That moment with Kit, safe and present, and the shattering sound of their hearts, beating in unison like a steady flame, burning away the darkness.