#tried somethinf new!! :3

[icecreamsodaaaaa]

Billabong for @very-clever-name

[astralhugs]

Hi! May i request the RFA + Saeran reacting to an MC that is too stressed bc of school/work so she starts crying? ♡

I’ve added bonuses bcs yall seemed to enjoy it and its also an apology for taking too long TT enjoy~~

masterlist

requests : open

YOOSUNG

* omgomg he understands

* HE RELATED TO YOU SO MUCH

* You’d both usually study together, take breakd together.

* It wasn’t too bad.

* Well...until final exams were coming up and Yoosung’s finished sooner before yours even started

* So you didn’t wanna bother him anymore.

* Third day of studying accounting and you passed out on the desk 🤩

* Yoosung was awake in the middle of the night, getting water when he saw you weren’t in bed.

* He checked on the desk to see you, asleep on the desk with some notes and reviews scattered around.

* He also saw some dried up tears probably from a few hours ago due to stress.

* He gently picks you up, checking the clock.

* 1.37 AM.

* The next morning, he woke up extra early to give you breakfast in bed.

* When you were about to leave, he would kiss you for good luck.

* Will help you when you have some problems during studying!

* Would even stop playing LOLOL just to help you study!!

Bonus (since most of yall loved these~) :

MC! Wahh! I can’t believe you made it this far! You did your best this school year, I believe in you okay? I can’t help you study all the time but I’m always cheering on for you~ All the best!! ♡

ZEN

* he was a good student up until middle school

* so whenever you needed help with a problem uhh he feels bad but he can’t solve it either.

* Unless its like language or a reading comprehension then he’s good at those!!

* A few days before your presentation, about some character analysis that you were still reviewing and ZEN had just gotten a new role.

* Did I mention its a major character role?

* You didn’t want to distract him so...you decided to try studying on your own.

* It was until you got too stressed out about it and started crying.

* You weren’t able to memorize it and had to look at the slides all the time.

* Zen finished his practice when he came back to see you with teary eyes, in a dark room, your laptop with full brightness.

* Zen immediately turned on the lights, worried your eyes would get hurt.

* He saw your eyes were still puffy and immediately held you in his arms.

* “Babe, you could’ve asked me...I would’ve made time for you.” he softly whispered.

* He lets you cool down for a while and asks you with a soft voice to show him your presentation.

* He started to read through it and realized what was wrong with it.

* He started to explain, little by little. Not wanting to stress you out again

* Rewards you with little kisses, be it on the lips or on the neck idk

* Its relaxing studying with him.

BONUS : Babe! <3 why are you stressed out? TT Oh! You’re studying? Take it easy~ I know exams can be important, especially during this time but please make sure to take care of yourself! Drink water and eat, okay? Love youuu mwah mwah mwah

JAEHEE

*empty i’ll write hers soon once i know what to write for her*

BONUS : Oh dear...are you still up studying? MC, I’m working late tonight so I can’t help you but I hope you’ve eaten and have been taking care of yourself well! Please know I’ll support you even from the C&R Building to my place and always will!

JUMIN

* He’s smart.

* Like high IQ smart

* Its canon

* Anyways, he saw that you were struggling with your business classes.

* One day, you were finishing up your graphs when Elizabeth got on top of it and scratched it.

* Tearing the paper apart.

* You widened your eyes, you were too tired to scold Elizabeth so you just sat there and shut down for a while until Jumin came home.

* He saw Elizabeth in the front door looking bad and poiting her paws at you.

* Jumin saw you, sitting down, staring at a torn paper and immediately saw what happened.

* He placed Elizabeth on the couch and went up to you and hugged you from behind.

* From there, you started crying.

* “I-i worked so hard on it, I’m not blaming Elizabeth but-“

* “My love, don’t worry. I’ll help you, okay?” he said in his calming voice.

* Starts from scratch with him again.

* It was easy for him because 1. he’s the ceo in line 2. he has a high IQ 3. hes a business man? tf?

* Very relaxing to study with him, though its not often, he’d try to make time to teach you<3

* Won’t yell at you if you get it wrong.

* Rewards you like kisses and ruffling your hair everytime you get an answer correct.

BONUS :

Its you. I’ll be running late tonight, Assistant Kang needed a few more files finalized before showing them to my meeting tomorrow so I won’t be able to come home early tonight. If you’re studying, please be sure to drink and eat somethinf healthy. I’ve asked Mrs. Kim, our maid to watch Elizabeth to watch her to make sure your work won’t be destroyed so I hope that helped. I’ll see you soon, my love. Wait for me.

707

* ANOTHER SMARTY

* Idk if it was mentioned but I remembered reading somewhere he had a high IQ

* WELL

* Your compsci class was teaching you how to code with C++

* You struggled with ‘HELLO WORLD!’

* Well...Saeyoung and Saeran just reunited so...you obviously didn’t want to bother both of them.

* Saeyoung was peeking around to check if you were eating when he saw your laptop, opened with C++ on it.

* “MC! Where did you learn how to hack?” he asks cheerfully.

* You turned around, tears in your eyes, “Why can’t I do it?”

* Saeyoung was shocked, he saw the piles of papers and the textbook.

* He smiled, while holding your hand tightly, grabbing a chair and sitting down next to you.

* He scanned through your code and immediately saw the error.

* He fixed it for you and taught you the basics.

* Dropped some easy hacking materials for you to impress your peers.

* Would definitely have a study session together! All three (four if Vandy wants to join) once every two weeks.

* Saeran would read the textbooks his brother would give to him and try explaining it to you while Saeyoung does the computer stuff.

* Studying with the choi twins? I’d like that.

BONUS :

DUNNNNNNN! Is my precious MC sad??? :((((, O-oh no, I didn’t mean to make you more sad! Ahh I’m not making this easier for you huh? MC, I hate seeing you sad...even if its just from a screen. Studying may be a bit hard. I was there. But I will always support and love you. Even if we are from different universes so take care, okay? :>

SAERAN

* OOO BIOLOGYYY

* You were learning about flower languages and you knew Saeran was good at it...while you weren’t.

* So you decide to ask him for help.

* Well...that day, he was in a bad mood but wanted to calm down so he thought teaching and reviewing with you would calm him down a bit.

* Well it for sure didn’t buddy.

* You showed him the book and he scanned through them.

* “How do you not get this? Are you dumb? An airhead?”

* Ever since he stopped drinking the elixir, he never really said those words to you so...it was kinda painful for you to hear that.

* He saw the tears in your eyes and regretted what he said.

* He snapped out of it and immediately held you tight in his embrace, “I’m sorry I’m sorry....” he mumbled, stroking your back gently.

* Tries not to get mad when you get it wrong.

* Would secretly put candy under your book everytime you get a question correct.

* “Princess, is that a candy you placed under your book?” he secretly placed it there.

BONUS :

Ah. Don’t ever think of yourself as an airhead when you’re studying! You’ll feel better when you don’t do that! Whenever I scold you...scold me back! Don’t just accept it and cry- hhh, please take good care of yourself even when you’re studying. I um...I love you okaythisisembarassingbyeee

OMGMGMFKFKF IM SORRY I ANSWERED TO THIS SO LATEEEE I JUST FINISHED SCHOOL LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO AND FOUND INSPO TODAY TT SO SORRY

requests : open~

have a great week guys <3

[currentfandomkick]

Why Marinette Hates Tim

Marinette blames Tim next summer for all that happened. Why? He cursed her with a vague theory. And Max and her Both know give her a clue and she has to follow it to solve the puzzle—a fatal flaw for her, Puzzler, Hero Stalker (Tim), Riddler and her father, Professor Strange (even if he is using an alias and supposedly dead as far as legal documents go).

Hero Staker Tim swore he’d become Robin if the current one left. It was a joke between them, she thought. Then he vanished the next summer, the first one where there wasnt any Robin mentioned anywhere. It was eery.

Then, then Timothy Drake, heir to some company-who looks a lot like her Hero Stalker—is a Wayne. And there’s a new Robin. This... deeply bothers Marinette. Why? New Robin seeks her out and talks a lot like Hero Stalker. And has a too similar movement pattern and tells.

And wasnt Hero Stalker Tim from a rich but high on neglient at best family? Didnt that happen to Timothy Drake before ending up as a Wayne?

Her that puzzle peice was central to figuring this out and goddamnit. Frost, who hates gossip, told her to just look up the rich families with kids Hero Stalker’s age and see who looked like him and to leave from to his lab and antidotes already.

Frost accidently gave her the vital method to see if Hero Stalker was that dumb to be become Robin after Robin the Second (Jason) was brutally murdered. The answer was yes.

And now Marinette had a crisis. She knew Batman’s identity was Bruce Wayne. How? Tim calls Bruce his dad. New Robin slipped and called him dad. And Tim is New Robin since Tim is Hero Stalker and no one else came close to looking like Hero Stalker from the data pool which involved more hacking than she ever thought she would do.

Marinette, a child, figured out who Batman was by age 9 becuase his new Robin/former Stalker was too obviously himself. She is embarrassed on his behalf, and honestly debates asking Riddler to separate him and Bats in a non-lethal puzzle trap just to lecture him. Becuase what the fuck Hero Stalker! If she can figure it out, then everyone else can too! Probably(?) likely. Either way its bad!

She doesnt though... Riddler puts together she’s concerned for the new Robin, traps Bats in a different puzzle maze from Robin, who is stuck with a grounded Marinette. Why was she grounded, easy. She got caught returning stolen jewlry on camera. It was punishment for failing basic stealth—always take out any witness.

And instead of pointing out she knows who Bats is, she tells him to work on a different persona since ‘i made you weeks ago. Its pretending to be someone you’re not completely is all. I have to do that around Maman and Papa all the time, and whenever i go out with anyone really. Up your secret identity game already!’

Riddler is busy with Bats and didnt do cameras. Why? “Im not redesiging a perfectly good grounding maze every time. They take time and i dint always have it. Its time economics Batman. I dont know what our lovely Princess said or did to your Robin. He’s fine though, see? No major injuries.”

Tim relized Marinette knew Hero Stalker was batman’s new Robin. This meant one thing—he could still help her and the RKC now! Why? He knew even if they made him out, they want to help people and never be like their parents, duh. And if they added to his budding information network with incredibly accurate information so long as he didnt rat them out to Batman, its fine.

Afterall, Pixie Pop wants to help poeple and is working the rouges into vigilantes to help more than hurt, and is doing a great job of it for the most part. So if Pixie Pop is Princess who’s the maybe kryptonian and her powers align with that theory, so what? Superman has an heir already and a bio!son too, apparently. Lois didnt tell him since they werent together then and yeah. So really, Superman didnt need another kid, and Pixie Pop didnt want another dad—“i have Papa and Father and now four of my friends’ dads in Paris called dibs on partial custody. I have more dads than i need for a quartet. That is far too many dads and i refuse to get another one!”

Then Marinette is talking to Alix and finds out about an old director at the Lourve her dad knew, Diana Prince. Marinette was working on a Wonder Woman inspired outfit, and knew her history of Wonder Woman thank you. Its just...

Wonder Woman appeared just after Miss Prince Left. And from the videos Alix sent of her new hero, she was terrifyingly similar to Wonder Woman. Not only did they look alike and have the same hair style preference, it was the same face if she did facial recognition with Markov, her robot son with Max. Then there was gait, generao stances and how she interacted with men and women so differently as both people and damnit. Same person.

She curses Hero Staker Tim for this. She now has to hide two hero identities. Why her?

The third was debatably Ivy and Harley’s fault, but defiantely still Tim’s. Why? He was the one that got her hooked on Barry Allen’s cases, and pointing out that he didnt see meta as bad or evil but as people who can be good or be civilians peacefully. That, she needed that with how much vitrol she had to swallow about her powers indirectly from everywhere but her school and some parts of Gotham.

In her defense, she is a nerd here. A nerd. So realizing the The Flash is also the forensics guy from Central City that she kinda follows on all her social medias, watches the cases of unfold, and knows has a reputation for being late a lot like her but is still well liked. So she may fangirl about his cases with Hero Stalker erm. Tim now, still.

And if one day she managed to pout at her father enough to get him to agree to let her go with Harley and Ivy to Central City for a few days to see the meta museum they just opened up (technically the Flash Museum, but Marinette didn’t care. It was focused on metas not being horrible and that meant a lot to her scared, meta closeted butt).

And then her favorite forensic investigator, The Barry Allen, shows up? Best day ever. He’s nice! And concerned about how much of his cases she knows. Its not her fault this time though! Hero Stalker—Tim—sent her a case of his that went cold and she liked his science and yeah. New hero added to her listpersonal heroes list.

Harley isn’t even mad, just amused as Marinette fangirls over someone that isnt her and Barry has no clue how to respond as a tiny child know him as Barry Allen and thinks he’s awesome? Why?? He is happy but so confused and Iris is dying until Marinette cites cases that she shouldnt know about and tiny child why, how, when and where did you get that information!

The only answer is a friend likes cold cases and has no qualms hacking to find interesting ones, if he’s stumped then Marinette (Jill Smith mr. allen sir!) gets to try. And she is good at it since she can ask an officer in France (officer Raincomprix) about logistical things, common error margins and then puzzle it all out herself from there.

Somewhere she mentions absently that her mom doesnt like her science-y side since her dad was a bad person and liked science but she still likes learning and helping, even if the family buisness is food and service and they want her to either take over or become a designer. She’s thinking maybe for people woth disabilites so she can do more mental work and toy with hiw things bend and move and such.

Iris and Barry are ConcernedTM and debating how to get custody, or get her away from her mom or both. Probably both—no science allowed for a clear science obssessed kid is a red flag for bith of them that somethinf is very wrong. Harley and Ivy wave it off as “trust us, her mom aint budging.”

then the Flash is needed because of some gorilla—Marinette was more focused on an outfit on display and muttering over aerodynamics and friction. Barry is Concerned (smart kid, likes helping, potentially a league ally?) before he bolts, determined to get more on her when he returns and possibly see if he can get cps involved.

Marinette only notices that her hero moving so fast and oh god she did it again damnit! That was superspeed. And only one speedster had similiar measurements, the Flash.

She cant even tell Hero Stalker now because he’s Robin and the Justice League would Flip if they knew she knew 3 of their hero’s identities. She just hit her head and said “i did it again!” Harley pats her head while Marinette burrows into her because why is she a danger to the Justice League and secret identities! She doesnt want to be or to know damnit!

Tim sneezes in the distance and wonders who’s talking about him behind his back this time. He messages batgirl about this bad feeling he has and she laughs it off as the boy developing Batman’s paranoia.

Her Fourth solve was Green Arrow. It was an accident! She swears. She just saw oliver queen with a bow and arrow in a video shooting. and noticed he had a very distinct and familiar style to someone but not who. Then compared it to various archers as her brain was nagging. Then saw a green arrow video and cursed herself again then Tim five more times.

She sent a message to Rose asking why she’s a danger to all secret identities. Rose tells her it is her curse for being too damn smart and not leaving things alone.

Marinette tries reallly hard not to figure out the next one. But really, it should have been an earlier solve and she’s mad at herself for missing it for so long, even if it was more aviodance than denial.

Admittedly this one should have been an earlier solve, but she was very little when she found out about the surgery and everything and it was uncomfortable damnit! So she did what any reasonable child would. Ignore it. Then she went over the file to see if maybe she could possibly target parts of the kyptonian DNA in her to weaken it. And saw who the intended donor was, Clark Kent, a reporter that has impossible luck with big hero scoops, is never injured or rescued, and never been sick. He also looks like... one quick photoshop of his glasses onto superman with a clothing change and she sees her usual disguise technique on goddamn superman. She is overwhelmed with this as ‘oh god superman will kidnap me if he finds out!’ And hides from him whenever he’s in the region—be it France or Gotham.

Her friends think its hilarious, Marinette feels sick from it. She doesnt like this and is genuinely scared for her life and family’s safety now. And we all know how nervous marinettes are.

If at one point batman tried to talk to her on patrol and somewhat suceeded. As in, she spoke beofre bolting.

“I didnt figure out who boyscout and amazon and boltbrain and arrowhead are! Or you and the batfam! Bye!!!!” Yes, clearly Marinette can lie very well.

Batman sees through it and feels sick. He forces a league meeting asap and fills them in.

“this kid put five of our identities together and cant even lie. We need to recruit them.”

“Batman, is this that kid KF mentioned to me?”

Batman nodded. Flash sighed. “Okay. We are on a manhunt for a kid kyptonian that is terrified of all of us, very smart, and may have an active gotham villain as a parent. And somehow knows me and—wait. bats, do you have any pics of your rogues in civilian clothing? I need to test a theory...”

A few minutes later and “oh my god that little kid i met as a civilian figured me out!”

A few days later Flash finds her by acccident as a civilian kid in broad daylight on her own in Central. He doesnt show he knows she knows, And finds out she’s waiting for her babysitter to finish a class.

Flash just asks about a case he put together as Barry Allen that she might know about and...

“Uh, mr. Flash? Why are you asking me? The lead florensics was Barry Allen.”

He tries insulting Barry Allen—he’s late and sloppy and—

only for Marinette to defend him to the death. “He’s late because he stays up late working on other cases. Appearances and organizational skills arent what matters with his expertise mr. flash! He even foghts for metas to have their circumstances and powers impact on them considered dueing sentencing!”

Flash is very touched and shocked. only then he manages to get out of her that where she lives (france) being meta is a life sentence to “a living zombie And jail-time for being born a lot, even if it is t in normal prisons. And you know what? Mr. Allen stated so many times that you need to contextualize powers and abilities and intent in his testimonies for meta cases. Back home youre put in prison for defending yourself...” she tugs at her sleeve here.

“Maman screamed at me when she found out a few kids were getting stalked and i helped out and someone got it on tape. Not becuase my powers showed or anything—father made a treatment so they dont, well, they stay off when i use them and follow all the behavior and environmental rules so they cant put me in one of the centers. But she, she’s stills cared someone will try to check me for abilities back in France, and that she’ll lose me. She doesnt always realize i have them until things like that happen...”

Flash is desperately trying not to adopt her. Wally would love a little sister, and Superman has enoguh kids, Bats does too. he is oreventing arrow form having another one as she’s powered and that isnt a good when working with Green Arrow unless the meta is his girlfriend. And the girl loves science—come on!

batman, Green Arrow, Wonder Woman and Superman heard the Feance bit over comms and suddenly it hit them that the kid could be in danger for existing and that an entire country villified being meta to an extreme. That the girl is in hiding and probably using an alias constantly. Batman mentally adopted her ages ago and is now in Worried Dad mode like Flash and apparently Superman was falling into it too. Wonder Woman is in righteous rage mode and ready to fight france herself if she has to—no imprisoning metas for being metas!

Flash decided to be direct since he knew she trusted him as Mr. Allen and knows he’s Flash.“So, am i allowed to know which powers you have?”

Marinette shook her head, visbily distressed and floating skightly. “If, if they ever find out i cant. I cant risk Maman and Papa and Father. I dont know everything but Father only started being a good person after the, the incident where he had to go into witness protection. Maman is dead as far as a lot of people are concerned, or she never existed. Papa doesnt know about any of it. I cant. I cant risk what they worked for by being outted.”

Flash is very concerned. “Thats a lot of pressure to put in yourself, especially at your age.”

marinette didnt make eye contact then. “I have to. If i dont people can connect dots and dashes and blips. Father says its easy for him too and that possibilities are just what we’re both hardwired for but. But i shouldn’t catch as many as i do—my teachers keep saying i need to dial it back and stop catching on so fast and blurting it all out but, i just...” marientte is visibly drowning under the pressure to act not-meta and keep her family safe.

“Sounds like youre a real smart kid.”

“Smart kids dont get caught.” She meant herself with her jewlry returns, Flash thought she meant the JL, and tried to redirect the conversation.

If the JL was out then...

“If you cant tell me, can you at least tell me you have someone to talk to about these things?”

“Auntie Quinn and Rose. Rose doesnt like you guys though.”

Flash laughed a little at that. “Alright, fair enough. Who made her mad? Was it arrow?”

“Batman.” Marinette frowning as she said the enxt bit. “Something about her being given to someone that should never be allowed bear children? She rants a lot so i cant always keep up.”

Batman internally bangs his head against a table. Outwardly, he says “Ivy’s daughter, rose. That girl, she’s the Princess.”

The assemebled winced. They all pushed for Rose to be sent toback to her mother, Ivy, since they didnt trust her with any available mentor and Ivy was usually a low ranking Gotham eco-terrorist pacified by wayne gardens and green initiatives. Apprently Rose has a lot of sway over the Princess too.

Marinette changes the conversation while. Waiting for her babysitter, Ghoul, to leave class. She needs a distraction from her situation that the Flash was willing to give her.

“Can i look at the case again? Something doesnt add up... there! See? Its close to the Speedsters that leave marks at those angles but only if they really mess with the speed force and the spacetime continuum! But theres no evidence of that, its a lightning meta, Possibly using it to teleport since no one came in or out on camera. Its a slight angle and all but...”

Flash decides Marinette will join the Justice League one day or so help him! He also decides to target france’s anti-meta policies and possibly kidnap Marinette.

The League isnt letting him. But he has a fan of Barry Allen who is handling Gotham’s criminals and beign given slack by them... albeit also raised by in-part. But the girl has a strong moral compass that is a lot like most of League’s so.

He’s fighting Bats for custody on principle. His fangirl, he has dibs!

Dont know why it ended up with Flash becoming a ‘Marinette is my daughter now’ person but why not? Wally would like her as a sister, probably.

Marinette blames all of this and the future consequences on Tim. She hates her vanishing freind for this.

[auk-blogs]

Shitty things that happened when I last went inpatient

At the CSU, I was denied access to my fidget toys (I am autistic AND ADHD) even though I specifically picked out ones that couldn't possibly be harmful - a stuffed animal, a Tangle, a glitter tube, etc.

Every time I tried to inform the nurses at the nurse's station that I was feeling extremely anxious, IF I got their attention at all they would just tell me that "there's colouring pages and puzzles in the dayroom" like. No?? I actually wanted some kind of medication mayhaps a sedative because I was going fucking NUTS

I was denied my ADHD pill, Vyvanse, because and I quote directly, I wasn't "working or studying or anything." No. That's not how it works. I needed that pill in order to think in a coherent manner for more than 2 seconds.

Actually the denial of my Vyvanse might be why I was so goddamn anxious? YOU try not getting anxious when your thoughts are all over the place and just keep getting faster and faster.

The other patients kept playing horribly bloody, violent, and graphic movies. Like WHY do you even HAVE a DVD that has a scene where a pirate has to do abdominal surgery on himself with no anaesthetic?? That's just. That's just pure Trigger(TM) on a shiny DVD.

There was this ONE FUCKING PATIENT. Cheri. I will hate Cheri until the day I die. She managed to always get ahead of me in her wheelchair and she would sit and simper with her watery eyes and her wobbling lip and her wringing hands and this horrible look in her eyes... The nurses always paid more attention to Cheri than me even though I was fucking articulating that HEY I NEED HELP FOR (X) THING and Cheri refused to speak.

Sweater Guy turned my room's light off in the middle of the night. I was insomniac and reading. And also the only patient in my room. Sure it's not a crime or anything but it's really fucking annoying. I wasn't bothering anyone, why not just let me read my book in peace?

For a while the only time I saw the therapist was as she was speedwalking down the hallway to leave for the day every evening. She wouldn't even make eye contact with me.

It wasn't until I finally snapped and told them that I had figured out at least 3 ways to attempt aliven't on that ward that they finally realised that yes, I DID NEED SOME ACTUAL FUCKING HELP.

The CSU led me to believe that the next place I was going to was going to be a long term facility. I took that to mean at least a month if not more. I was ready to finally get some serious help that I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET SINCE THE END OF 2016.

The CSU had a max stay of about 3 days, btw.

Well I got to Peninsula and it turns out that "long term facility" means 5 to 7 day stay. So... Not what I was led to believe.

I was strip searched, I believe is the term. Yes, I was forced to strip pretty much naked to confirm that I wasn't bringing any contraband on my person (despite me checking in voluntarily).

Like I've related before, I was "relieved of" my comfort items - my hardcover journal, some books, and my drawings. The journal and drawings in particular had content I wanted to share with the therapist(s) at Pinensula and I never got to.

When I got anxious about not having my journal/comfort item back, the staff were very apathetic to my literal BEGGING and just basically told me to suck it up and deal with it.

For some reason hardcover books were contraband?? Like what was I gon do, give someone a whack on the head? Anyway they offered me a composition book BUT IT WASN'T MYYYY JOURNAL and as any autistic knows one cannot simply replace a comfort item with a lower quality replacement.

When I, AUK, got too anxious and overwhelmed to deal anymore - Lizzie took over and threw a massive fit. We don't think we got chemically sedated, but we did get hoodwinked into going to a more "secure" ward and then when Lizzie was still pissed off, they manhandled us into a "blank room."

In the new ward, I was relieved of my clothes, my slippers, and pretty much what was left of my dignity. I was made to wear paper scrubs instead of proper clothes.

If I wanted to use the toilet or shower, a nurse would sit at the door with it propped open watching every move I made. No privacy. I eventually only used the bathroom once every morning and only showered once while I was at that ward.

The medication lady (unsure of her status - nurse? Doctor? Idk) refused to keep weaning me off my Lexapro and instead yanked me off it entirely. I'd been on Lexapro for a good while and uh. Ever hear of SSRI withdrawal? It is HORRIBLE. I still think she was totally unprofessional about that and should have fucking known better.

I am overly sensitive to sound and nobody would turn the fucking radio off. (All it played was Christmas music, too. *shudder*)

When I asked for more food, I never got it. I was so freaking hungry by the time I was released.

I'm pretty sure that the coffee was decaf because I got out into the world again and suddenly couldn't handle even half-caf. That means that the nurses were openly lying about the caffeine content - they repeatedly said it was full caffeine coffee.

There were supposed to be groups on that unit but like ...none ever happened? It was like the staff were so busy doing stuff that I couldn't see, that they didn't have time to do their jobs with the patients.

Did I mention that the manhandling left bruises? On my upper arms and also my right buttock from where the men forced me to sit down with all 200 lbs of me onto a concrete floor. Ouchies.

On my discharge notes, somebody wrote a note telling me to stop taking my birth control (which I take to regulate horribly heavy and long periods, not because I am sexually active). The discontinuation of the birth control was never verbalised to me. Never. Not once. There wasn't even an explanation in the note either.

Pinensula put me on what they said was an anti anxiety script but I looked it up and it's actually an antipsychotic. So if you go tell someone that you're anxious, you're psychotic? Like. What? (I understand medications can be used for more than one purpose. But I've been consistently prescribed meds that don't match with my self reported symptoms, and even meds that aren't MEANT to be used for the purpose they were prescribed to me for.)

I got so overstimulated while on the unit that I begged for earplugs. They didn't help at all, even when I combined them with a pillow over my head too. And then they went and turned the radio LOUDER.

(Although not relevant to me, there was this one patient who went ballistic over a hair being on her unpeeled orange ... She had been fiddling with her hair right before eating and she was the only one with that hair texture and colour on the unit... Yeah she threw a fit because she got one of her hairs on her unpeeled orange. Sigh.)

Did I mention that both the CSU and Peninsula are mostly for detoxing people? They just throw detoxing addicts and people who are having purely mental health problems in together. It is a bad system, because people like me who just need mental health support are often triggered by the detoxing addicts, and we get ignored by staff because the detoxing addicts are a higher priority I guess? They're certainly more dramatic.

My mum later told me that she was told that I was likely to be released early because I was "cooperative." Of fucking course I'm cooperative you absolute nitwits, I checked in voluntarily because I've been suicidal for like 16 years and I want some fuckin HELP

My mum tried to bring me a small stuffed dragon as a birthday present (yes, I was inpatient on my birthday). The stuffed toy was not allowed through because it was contraband. FUCKING HOW IS A LITTLE PLUSH DRAGON CONTRABAND? Mum articulated her distress as somethinf like "I just wanted to bring my autistic spawn something stimmy on their birthday" like fucking hell man, don't ever go inpatient if you are neurodivergent because they sure as hell won't allow you to have any coping mechanisms that aren't staying quiet, staring at nothing, and using dried up markers on a badly designed colouring page.

Anyway sorry this got so long. There's probably even more stuff that I forgot about.

Storal of the mory is don't go inpatient in Southeastern Tennessee, kids. You might be fucked up now but they will definitely fuck you up worse.

[speci-society]

@surstromming god ok ive been meaning to like. Talk abt my experience trying to maneuver getting remote learning so far this school year, because Literally This. Its either astronomical levels of incompetence or Not Caring or This

So um

- July 2021 im going into my senior year of high school. Delta is starting to emerge and theres gonna be a new spike, and itll probably be worse here bc i live in the south. May-june, school system was saying they were going to go for everybody 100% back in person, and up until july i was ok with it. July came and they weren't showing signs of slowing down, and since i live with exclusively at risk elders, me n my family decided "well actually let's get you in the virtual academy option they have been offering since before covid anyway"

- rest of july-all of august, me n my grandma are contacting everyone involved w the school about getting me in the virtual program. They're saying registration closed in May which we never got a notice about, and was bullshit bc we were getting messages saying theres still time to sign up over the summer. And i knew this because I WAS TAKING A RECOVERY COURSE OVER THE SUNMER point is, they wont let me in. In the meantime im getting assignments from teachers i wouldve had, had i gone in person, over google classroom. And in early september they say "OK ACTUALLY YOU CANT DO THAT ANYMORE" and kick me out of the school and lock my account without any notice. I am not in school for all of september

- early october we finally fucking get somethinf worked out and i start taking 3 classes i need to graduate, online. I started at the very beginning of every course with a grade of 0% because every assignment since august was counted as missing. I was given no help in the way of catching up. My friends in person were in the middle of midterms week. I was given half the time to make up all classes with no help whatsoever, even when we tried to reach out

- the thing is, the way i was pacing myself (realistically, and giving myself time to Destress as to Not Suffer High Blood Pressure And Stroke from months of constant stress) would've been on pace and passing with very good grades, had i started when all my peers started. When i tried to reach out for help i was often blamed for "not pacing myself", and the common sentiment was "sorry you got in 2 months late, but the good news is you still have another 2 months, so get to work!" And i will never get over that. This isnt even mentioning all the technical issues with the site the classes were on but im not getting into that. It was just very bad and sometimes delayed progress even further

- mid november my grandma goes to the hospital to treat conditions directly caused by excessive stress. Why yes i am blaming my grandmother's hospital visit on the school system, i think im in the right to do so

- i live with my grandma so obv this shook up my life very much for basically the rest of the semester. She returned home a week or so before the semester ended, so she was here when we got an email from the virtual school saying "hey, if you dont catch up in all your classes in the next 3 days we're not making you a schedule next semester, so either go back in person or start homeschooling", neither of which are remoyely viable options for me. So instead of continuing to argue, we quit

- it's january now. The 2nd semester just started. I'm not in any school now, i'm gonna get a GED. My school system decided to go virtual for the very first week, and the first week only. To show they "care", to show they Kinda Sorta understand the situation is only getting worse, but they dont understand or care enough to keep schools closed. I had to get kicked out of school twice in one semester and have my guardian in the hospital so i could get two months of learning about economics and american lit and human anatomy, and in the end im very very glad i'm not being pressured to risk my life and my family's life for a cap and gown in spring, and im very very very angry on behalf of my friends and peers who absolutely do not want to be there, yet are. The school system fails everyone. God. Fuck. Hate it here

why are people so opposed to remote learning “its bad for mental health” im sorry but would you rather students die????????????? also for some of us not being in school where we are exposed to bullying and isolation due to disability or autism on top of a covid threat would be a fucking nightmare. most of the issues with remote learning is because the government fucking sucks at doing their job at all levels. do you know how long its been since a stimulus check?????? theyre trying to fucking kill us i swear to god.