#tried some new techniques with the rendering and it went so well!

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Makoto In a skirt?, he's showing support for for togami

Hell yeah! I can do that!

Made Makoto a cute little cheer leader! After all Makoto is pretty peppy like one!

[sysig]

Ughhhhhhh

[kimeoshi]

‘Twas both 👁👁, but yeah honestly I’m very interested cause damn- (sorry if I seem awkward I’m not good with online interaction 😭😭 LMAO)

NAH no worries you're doing fine!!

It's a pretty wide array of topics but touching the surface of it, I'll go into my art process.

Here's a short thread where I went into this similarly!

I pretty much follow the steps of what I mentioned there, but it varies a little bit based on the style I go for too: painting whole illustrations or design or more simple fun things.

I could describe what I did in each frame of my process gifs which I've posted before but I would need some time. With big pieces, the steps I go by (read slowly, it's a pretty dense text):

thumbnailing -> sketching with bigger shapes to get the line of action/feel (that is, I'm just blocking out the composition) -> refine that a bit -> hide BG, draw the characters (lineart) and add the base colors of them. (then merge & rasterize a copy of it for later) -> put them back in the environment (unhide BG), make them grey -> add shading in greyscale style (multiply layers, glow dodge layers, you name it) -> get that previous rasterized layer back and put it on color mode -> those characteristic shiny parts get a new layer with overly saturated + high brightness colors -> color BG with a new color layer -> then rendering/refining for concerning amounts of time -> add effects and change color/brightness/contrast curves + gradient map -> profit???

For software, I generally use Paint Tool SAI (I adore blending/painting here), I use Clip Studio Paint for the 3D posing library/sketching/lineart, and Photoshop for final effects. (Update: I mostly do all things in CSP now)

(if you have CSP, try out this brush... it saved my life)

As for improvement:

I experiment, watch a lot of youtube videos (I personally like the ones which analyse an artist). I suggest thoroughly understanding how something moves and works (for anatomy I can recommend the book 'Anatomy for Sculptors'), I also study and jot down important pieces of advice or insights to a collective document, rather than saving them to my device where it is highly likely to be forgotten.

I believe if you put great importance on colors and composition, that can cause the most noticeable, 'fastest' improvement, at least if you view it from the lens of social media. (While online environments provide significant reassurance, it must be engaged with in moderation, as it is easy to fall into a lot of negative mindsets, taking the enjoyment out by perfectionism, comparison, or seeking validation, etc.)

Another improvement technique you can try is to slow down a speedpaint video of your choice and follow along with the artist. Extremely useful, I recommend, put your artist under a microscope.

Of course I don't do all of these things every single waking hour, it's just a side hobby to my unrelated studies in real life. Even if you don't actively draw your visual library and knowledge can improve passively, I find that so fascinating. I don't touch a paper for months and there's a sudden jump, like damn what. (Not saying you should do this, active learning is still better ofc) Either way my point with that is, that improving does and did take a lot of time for me as well.

Apologies if this goes all over the place, I tried to touch upon every subject that came to mind at the moment, in not too much in detail, overall I hope it makes sense

If you have any specific questions related, feel free to ask! Or if there's any specific problem you'd like to tackle but find yourself lost, same applies!

[purple-squigly-kip]

Some background on this render: It's mainly a result of 3 things. 1. Trying out a new compositing technique 2. Wanting to make something with a cinematic feel 3. Needing to give these two some catharsis after all the terrible things I put them through (mostly in my head)

These two are Emmerich (Emm for short) and Lyle! The one with the split dye is Emmerich, and the one with the scar is Lyle. Not particularly relevant to what we're going to be talking about, but there's your introduction! Onward to the technical stuff...

The vision I had in my head before beginning to project pretty much amounted to: I wanted these two in this pose on the bed, while light pours in from the window behind them. The first order of business was setting up the camera angle. Which was pretty easy to get a feel for roughly speaking, though I did end up having to go back and adjust it slightly later on.

Though I've messed around with volume scatter in the world shader settings, and creating lightrays with volume objects, none of those really had the particular look I wanted for this as I wanted something a bit more stylized. In past projects I had tried making something with the effect I wanted but kept failing to get it right. That is-- Until I stumbled upon this godsend of a tutorial by Lane Wallace that teaches you how to mimic volumetric fog with a compositing technique.

The downside to this is that you can't see it in the viewport while you're working (as far as I can tell) but it might be better for performance if you're working on a lower end PC. But above all that, the reason I went with this was of course the look!

After getting the camera angle set up, the first thing I did was actually prepare the scene for the lightray technique.

If you're interested in how it works or what the node set-up is I highly recommend you watch the video so you can try it for yourself, but in case you were curious here's what the lightrays look like by themselves in the compositor:

After setting those up, I finally went back to the layout tab to import the character models and start on posing.

I started working on this pretty late at night, so at first I was only really able to get a rough idea of the pose before I had to go to sleep. But I ended up with this:

Yeah... Pretty funny looking. But I'm forgetful! So If I hadn't gotten the idea down in some form, it was likely to run away from me, never to be seen again... All of the WIP pics I'm showing have the lightrays present since I wanted to have an idea of how they looked in the render as I was working on it, but aside from that there's no compositing yet.

Adding some more refinements including adding some gravity to Lyle's hair... Between draft 2 and 3 I adjusted the material on his blouse slightly as well. The shader I used has a rimlight feature that doesn't play too nicely with it sometimes... LMAO.

While I'm at it let me just mention... As someone with not enough space for 2 monitors, having one viewport with the render view for a preview of the final image, plus another viewport in material preview/solid view to move around in is the ideal workflow! For me at least...

Refined the pose a bit more! I added some gravity to Emm's hair and it's looking much better now... Still some clipping, but we'll worry about it later! Comparing this one with the previous version, I remember that I wasn't quite sure what to do with Lyle's hand for a while...

Originally I was going to have him put his free hand on Emm's shoulder, but it looked a bit awkward visually. So I ended up placing it on Emm's forehead. And I'm glad I did! These two have a pretty intimate relationship and have been through hell and back together, so it feels fitting as well.

I may have also dislocated Lyle's arm slightly to assist the pose, but sshhh! Don't tell anybody... ;)

It was at this point I was pretty much done with the pose for the most part, so I moved on to deforming the meshes with shapekey edits. I like doing this so I can correct certain shapes or exaggerate them in a non-permanent way. If I decide I don't like it, I can just delete the shapekey, or I can turn down the value if I think it's too much. This is how I can get away with breaking Lyle's arm scott free... heheh. >:)

But yeah, I corrected that and fixed any clipping that I noticed along the way. It was at this point I realized that I never subdivided Emmerich's pants so I decided to do that. Typically I subdivide character models in a sort of separate base file that I can append to a project whenever I want to use it, but I had run into an issue with the pants that I put off fixing until that moment.

If I have one gripe with how the render turned out, it's probably Emm's pants. Subdivision sometimes gets rid of fine details in models, so you need to account for that whenever you subdivide. If I lose detail when subdividing I usually try to re-add the detail afterwards to compensate. Which I DID do here, but not nearly enough as I should have. So his pants look a little boring in the final render when compared to the WIP pics. Alas, C'est la Vie...

And here we have some more shapekey edits, and LOTS of sculpting edits. There are certain cases where I think using proportional editing on a mesh is most effective, but overall I find a lot of the sculpting tools much easier to use. They give a more appealing look imo and they can also be set to shapekeys! It really just depends on what you're doing though, and I find that sculpting works best when your mesh has a lot of geometry to work with.

A huge improvement here. Mostly just adding additional gravity to the hair and Lyle's sleeves, as well as fixing the bit of Emmerich's hair that was clipping through Lyle's leg.

Aaaaannnddd it was at this point I realized. I forgor. 💀 When setting up the scene for this render I somehow forgot that I needed to set a cinematic aspect ratio for this even though that was one of my MAIN GOALS with this project. (Sigh).

I ended up deciding on 1.85 (3996 x 2160 pixels). The render I posted to Tumblr and Bluesky (follow me @ squigly_kip, wink wink) is about half that size though. I won't give up my full res renders just yet... Maybe one day if I open a Patreon though... Argh. Getting sidetracked. Anyway--

It was at this point I also realized the camera angle wasn't quite doing it for me, so I adjusted it slightly. I also decided to bake the lighting, which is what caused the change in color temperature.

Some more sculpting edits as well as adjusting the materials slightly. Mostly changed the rimlight on Lyle's hair to match the scene better.

And because my ass CANNOT leave well enough alone, I adjusted the pose after I had already called it done. Emm's torso just looked a bit boring to me and I thought it would be more dynamic if I bent him a little more.

And here I'm just adjusting Lyle's hand to match the last edits I made as well as fixing some new clipping. Also adjusted the material on Emmerich's pants while I was at it.

From this point, I was pretty much done in Blender! I did some additional stuff in the compositor there, but I won't go over that since this post is already UNGODLY long and that could be it's own thing. But after I was done with that I exported the foreground and background layers separately and put them into GIMP.

Yeah yeeeahhh go on. Laugh it up. I use GIMP. Yes I know I could sail the seven seas for Photoshop, YES I know Photopea is a great free alternative. But GIMP is what I started using as a little kid who had no money and was terrified of getting viruses from sketchy downloads, so GIMP is just what I'm used to.

To help sell the size of the room a bit more, I did a focus blur effect on the background. it kind of puts emphasis on them both too, which is nice. I also used the normal pass to adjust the lighting a bit.

At some point while I was doing adjustments to the colors in GIMP, the details on Lyle's blouse kind of got lost, so I masked it out and adjusted the levels to bring them back.

I also finally caught a HUGE OVERSIGHT that maybe you noticed while reading. Emm's shoulder that he's laying on is suuuuper fucked up. I am no anatomy expert, but I'm pretty sure the human shoulder Does Not Work Like That. Now. I COULD have gone back to Blender and corrected this with some sort of mesh edit, but that would require redoing the several hours worth of work I did in GIMP all over again. Fuck. that.

So what I ended up doing was color picking the skin of the surrounding area, drawing a shape with the free select tool, filling it with that color, and blending it with the surrounding skin. I'm all for getting things right the first time, but sometimes these things just happen... I also liquified certain parts of the image to correct some tiny things and make them smoother.

While doing the finishing touches, I also drew some circles and gaussian blurred them to create dust particles near the lightrays!

And with that...

We have the final render!

Here's a timelapse of every stage in order.

But yeah, that's pretty much it! I wanted the vibes of the render to be pretty calm and cozy, but while I was making this I spent hours listening to Tool and A Perfect Circle albums, so it was... pretty dissonant. But I had a fun time working on this and felt like I learned a lot! Learned to use a new compositing technique and how to automatically export layers using the file output node.

If you read this far, thank you! You deserve a cookie. I'm not going to make you any though, my oven is broken! What was I talking about again?

"..." "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you..."

[sillybub]

what do you think about cats movie 2019? did you enjoy it?

So the movie was my introduction to Cats, and I went to go see it ironically with my siblings since we all heard how mortifying it was.

And like, yeah I didn't like it very much? I thought it was weird and I didn't understand it, and humans are so scared of what they don't understand. Granted, I had no clue about what I was going into, and my initial reaction was mostly in part to being taken way off-guard. I remember liking Skimbleshanks and thinking that, the fur itself looked really nice even if the designs were ugly. But mostly I thought it was a bad weird movie.

Now that I've had three years to reflect on it?

It's still a bad movie, but for different reasons than I initially disliked it.

1) The character designs are just bad and uncomfortable. They all have fully human faces, hands and feet, and it does not look good. This was an initial takeaway but I still stand by it. The fur itself was rendered well, but it doesn't save the designs.

2) They just made some straight up upsetting decisions regarding Jennyanydots and Bustopher Jones. I don't care that they're different, they're just actively unlikable and uncomfortable (I don't want inaccuracy to the stage show to be a factor in my opinion; I'm trying to judge it as a standalone entity). You can tell that Rebel Wilson and James Cordon just kind of thought of their characters as a joke and had no respect for them, which is simply not a good look. I'd never cast an actor who didn't have respect for their role. And if the character isn't deserving of any respect, then it's a badly written character.

3) I'm sure we've all seen the Sideways video about what a trainwreck the music was. The way it was recorded was not flattering for the vocals OR the orchestra; rhe style of recording lends itself to realism, which just does not work with the kind of story Cats is.

Which leads me to qthe most complicated one:

4) They tried to force Cats into a traditional narrative, which...just did work. They tried to have a focal protagonist (who I feel like wasn't effective foil for Grizabella), they padded the movie with dialogue in an attempt to flesh out the Jellicle Ball and Jellicle Choice, which just made things MORE confusing tbh, and trying to make Macavity more of a present threat was a noble move, but ultimately failed.

This open up a conversation about what a good film adaptation of Cats would look like.

Good news,, we already got one in 1998.

It's not just a proshot; it's also a film. They used cinematic techniques that are specific to the medium when they recorded it; use of CGI, use of editing techniques such as slow-motion, performing multiple takes, pre-recording the vocals and lip-syncing during shooting, etc.

They even modified the makeup designs to better suit close-ups. And to replicate the audience interaction, they chose to have the cats look into the camera. These are adaptational choices that WORK.

But like, okay, suppose that 1998 doesn't count. You want a "proper" film.

In my professional Film Major opinion, Cats is one of the worst musicals to adapt to film. Too much of its appeal lies in the strengths of theater and the weaknesses of film.

We want films to be realistic, in a visual sense. In theater, you can get away with standing on an empty stage and miming washing dishes, and the audience will believe that the character is literally performing that task, not pretending to do so. That does not fly in film. We need to see a sink and plates and forks and water. There's little room for abstraction, is what I'm trying to say.

And Cats is so abstract. This works GREAT on stage, but not much so for live-action film.

Abstract meaning "exists as an idea, but not having a concrete existence".

We understand that the cats we see on stage are literally cats; but they're representing by the suggestion of cats. Bold makeup, fluffy wigs, and painted unitards combined with certain movements suggest cats to us without trying to literally look like a real cat.

In film? You need to look like a cat. If a lady walked onto the big screen with a rope tail and painted on whiskers, you'd say "that's a lady in a cat costume, not a cat." You want to see furry ears and a tail that actually twitch and move. Probably retractable claws and slit pupils, too.

And then you'd have to figure out how to adapt the rest of the plot. Do they stay in the junkyard, keeping it confined to one location as per the stage musical? Do you lean into the abstraction, or try to make it more realistic? That, of course, was the failure of 2019; trying to make an abstract and whimsical musical into something realistic. If you want to aim for realism, I truly think you'd have to change the source material beyond recognition.

I used to talk about adapting Cats as an animated anthology, showcasing each song in a different style of animation. And I still think that would be sick, but my thought process there was that animation lends itself well to abstraction; you would lose out on the magic of live dance, but could perhaps make up for it with stunning, stylized animation. It's what I personally would enjoy most.

TLDR; it wasn't a good movie OR a good adaptation, but to be fair, Cats is fucking hard to adapt.

[ghost-strawberry]

This Isn’t Going To End Well

Phic for Phic Phight 2021. Prompt by Bird: I think Danny dealing with his parents implementing a new, widespread ghost protection thing would be neat!

“We’ve been working on a very exciting new device for hunting ghosts!” Maddie exclaimed at the dinner table. Danny tried to show an expression of innocent interest, whilst Jazz anxiously glanced in his direction. He was sure his parents wouldn’t notice his sister’s reaction.

“Yes!” Their dad continued, unable to contain his anticipation, “It utilises an ancient ghost hunting technique and actually includes biological agents.”

“I finally persuaded your father to experiment with the tried and tested horticultural approach,” Maddie went on, all bubbly, having forgotten about the rest of her food. “Of course with some technological upgrades.”

“Does it hurt the ghosts very much?” Jazz asked as she collected the plates and cutlery from the table.

“You know we don’t care about that, Jazzy-pants,” Jack responded flippantly, “in fact, it would be great if it did, or at least hurt the ghosts enough to incapacitate them. We could get some good samples to dissect!” Danny felt his stomach churn and hoped his dinner would stay down. Jazz quickly turned to shove the dishes in the sink, hiding the alarmed look in her eyes.

At least the things his parents invented didn’t usually work that well, Danny reflected. Although, the stuff his mum made often posed an actual threat to him. He prayed his dad had contributed enough to this new device to render it harmless.

Danny massaged his temples, elbows resting on the table. He could feel a headache looming out of sight. “So, uh... what’s it called?” Danny asked, hoping to hear some more information. He needed to know if this was one invention he should be secretly sabotaging. Jazz ran the hot water and began washing up.

“It’s called the Bio-ecto-repellent,” his dad announced proudly. His mum looked less than pleased at this. The name didn't sound too dangerous to Danny. "And if it works, it should effect all the ghosts in an area as big as the city!" Now that did sound bad.

"When will it be finished?"

His mum shot up from her seat, "Oh Danny, I'm so glad you're so interested in this work! You should come and see it right now!"

"Mum," Jazz interjected as she cleaned a plate, "Danny's probably got school work he needs to focus on."

"I think I've got time to come check this out," Danny said, rising from his own chair.

"Great!" Jack shouted. He rushed out of the kitchen, surprisingly quick for a person of his stature. Maddie followed suit.

Jazz spoke softly to Danny, "just let me know if you need me, little brother." A warm appreciation for his sister blossomed in his chest.

"I will, thanks Jazz."

Danny made his way downstairs to the laboratory after his parents, a feeling of dread steadily forming inside him. He generally had faith that his parents would love him no matter what, even if they did find out the truth about him being a half-ghost. Experiences like these and whenever they spoke about cutting up ghosts didn't exactly give him the confidence to tell them. It had become a habit now, to hide his double identity from the world, from his parents. It was just easier this way. Although, maybe if he told his parents, they wouldn't be so hell bent on destroying ghosts. Danny couldn't decide what the safer option was; keep his ghost half secret or tell them the truth. He chose to go with the former for now.

Danny reached for the banister along the wall. For some reason his hand was shaking. Was he that scared of his parents? His vision began to blur with a red haze, the stairs starting to swim and morph before his eyes. Each step downwards seemed to become heavier, slower. He swayed, leaning against the wall. His head was pounding, pain blooming just behind his eyes.

He feebly called out, "Mum? Dad?" Danny could hear feet running on the laboratory tiles, voices reverberating, a droplet of sweat from his forehead splashing on the floor. His own breath was too loud and his heartbeat, usually deathly slow, was thumping hard. Warm hands holding onto his body. He could feel himself trembling, he couldn't see anything now. He thought his head must be about to burst. Suddenly, it all went silent.

***

The soft sound of breathing was pleasant and calming. Occasionally, it was accompanied by the rasp of a page turning. Eyes still closed, Danny flexed his fingers. Every part of his body ached, felt like lead. He was in his own bed. The faint scent of pen ink and jasmine flowers told him his sister was here with him. They were alone.

"Jazz," he croaked, barely audible.

"Danny," she whispered back, dropping her book to clutch his hands. Jazz's hands were uncomfortably hot.

"What happened?" He remembered leaving the dining room, trying to go down the stairs to the laboratory, to see what? Somehow the experience had felt familiar.

"Oh, Danny," Jazz sighed. His eyes flicked open and he could see tears trickling down her face. Anger flared up inside him. He hated that she was crying because of him.

"Don't," he tried to reach up and wipe the tears away, but his arm was like stone, he could scarcely lift it.

"I... I think this..." she faltered, her eyes darting around the room, "I think this new weapon is really bad."

Of course. He remembered now. So he couldn't even go near the thing without passing out? This was bad.

"You're gunna’ have to break it for me Jazz."

"I tried... Mum and Dad they... they stopped me going near it... they've taken it to the roof now."

"They're going to use it. We have to stop them Jazz." Danny had no idea what this thing was meant to do, but he couldn't let it go on. For his own sake as well as the innocent ghosts that naturally inhabited Amity Park. His head raced as he searched for a solution.

"Help me out of the house," he asked, his voice stronger now. The expression on Jazz's face told him what she thought about that, but she gently supported him out of bed anyway. The siblings stumbled together from Danny's bedroom, through the empty hallways and out of the front door. They were greeted with a cold, fresh breeze. Danny let out a sigh of relief as the cool sensation washed over him, invigorating him. He looked down the streets for where to go next. He needed to get further away from whatever the thing was, and get a good look at it at the same time. Danny shakily pointed down a road nearby. Leaning his weight heavily on Jazz they continued away from the house. With every step Danny felt a little stronger, a little lighter.

"Let's get this show on the road!" The gleeful shout echoed, coming from the roof of Fenton Works. Danny raised his head to see his parents attending a slowly spinning machine, it's glass sides showing it to be filled with an ominous red.

"Blood blossoms," Danny murmured, his voice low and quiet. Jazz's eyes widened in fear.

"What? Those primitive flowers that ghost hunters in the olden days used?" Danny nodded solemnly. The device on the roof was spinning faster now, a high pitched mechanical whine emanating from it. Danny could see the white flash of his parents teeth, both grinning madly.

"Stop!" Jazz yelled at them, releasing Danny and frantically waving her hands in the air. "Mum! Dad! Stop the machine!" They couldn't hear her.

Danny raised a shaking, glowing palm towards the roof. He had to destroy this thing, now. He really hoped his parents wouldn't get hurt in the process. The energy built around his hand.

Before he could fire, an ear-splitting crack whipped through the air. For a few seconds everything was still.

It was beautiful really. The gleaming red petals drifted through the sky. They looked as though they were dancing.

Next came the pain. The earth-shattering, mind-numbing pain. His senses cut off completely. He could only see a deep, blood red before him. The only thing Danny could do was scream.

[shenglingyuan]

title: seize the day and after hours(ao3) pairing: gojo satoru/geto suguru A jujutsu sorcerer’s life is always busy, especially those of the strongest ones, so when a window of opportunity opens itself up just to relax and be with someone you care most about, one can only give in to it. Notes for this AU: In-demand jujutsu sorcerer Gojo x Teacher Geto! In this setting, Toji failed in his mission and still got k-worded, Riko successfully merged with Tengen, so Geto didn't spiral down the "I hate monkeys" hole and Gojo didn't think of becoming a teacher. \o/

“It’s of vital importance that you do not forget to put up a Curtain before you start a mission, even if you cannot see the curse at first glance,” Suguru then carefully dismantles the Curtain before five pairs of inquisitive eyes, “Can anyone tell me why?”

A hesitant hand rises up in the air.

“Yes, Nanako?”

“Uhm, because non-sorcerers might get to see if ever the exorcism becomes a big event and it’s important that we keep the matters of the jujutsu world hidden from them to keep the status quo?”

“Yes, exactly,” Suguru smiles at her. Then, upon noticing the nearby presence, he makes his voice a little bit louder, “So don’t ever forget to set up a Curtain unless you want to be like a certain someone whose magnificent accomplishment of exploding a house got featured in the news.”

“Hey Suguru, stop slandering my renowned name in front of the kids.” The ‘renowned’ Gojo Satoru saunters over to their group, distributing the several bags on his hands. “Got you all souvenirs!”

“Did I lie?”

“Nope. Totally happened.” Satoru grins cheekily, standing next to Suguru and hooking an arm around his shoulder. “Missed me?”

“We’re still having a lesson here.” Suguru flicks at Satoru’s forehead, but he doesn’t pry away from his hold. It’s been over a week since they last saw each other after all. He did miss the man. “Any contribution to make up for your disturbance?”

“Hmm, let me think…ah! If you want to exorcise curses, you’ve got to be crazier than them.”

“That’s not particularly helpful.”

“It’s because you’re unimaginative.”

In front of five unwilling audiences, Satoru clings to his side like a leech. Suguru tries with all his might to deliver the last few important points of the day’s lesson, with one of his hands keeping Satoru’s face at bay from smothering his own.

“And that’s all for today’s session. Tomorrow, we’ll discuss some preparations before your next field assignment.”

“Yay! Suguru’s mine now!” Satoru almost didn’t let him finish his final remarks, squeezing by his side even tighter.

“Gah,” Nobara is the first one to openly show her complaint about the public display of attention in front of them, “Can you please have some consideration for us single students, Gojo-san?”

“Aren’t you too young to be thinking of romance?” Satoru answers back as if he’s talking to someone of his own age. “No dating until you’ve graduated!”

“Weren’t the two of you already dating during your second year in high school?” Megumi points out without missing a beat.

“What?!” Yuji’s jaw dropped, “They’re that long already?”

“Because it’s true love, dear students,” Satoru answers confidently, providing Suguru much embarrassment.

“Anyway,” Suguru finally cuts them off, “This has been a very fruitful conversation. You can go spar now, maybe the second years are looking for sparring partners as well.”

Teacher and students finally part ways, with the teacher dragging a long clingy blindfolded man with him. Satoru recounts to him every detail of his trip the past two weeks, even those that are not related to the mission at all, and Suguru is all ears. Ever since they reached Special Grade level as sorcerers, they’ve been given fewer missions together. Sorcerers are very few, after all, and they need to maximize their numbers efficiently. Sometimes, Suguru would find himself wishing there’s some especially dangerous situation that would require both of their presence, but he’d take back the thought as soon as it’s out, still preferring this kind of stability. So for now, he can only live through Satoru’s lively retelling.

Right as they arrived at their shared room, Satoru finally ends his narration.

“Seems like it’s another breeze of a mission, huh,” Suguru pulls off the blindfold over Satoru’s eyes and smooths down his hair.

“Mhm,” Satoru wraps his arms tightly around Suguru’s waist, burying his face on the crook of his neck. “Would have been faster if you were there.”

“Do you even need me?”

“Of course! What are you talking about?” Satoru lifts his head and stares directly at Suguru’s eyes, “Individually, we are strong enough to take down the most powerful curses. But together, I bet we could take all over the world.”

“And your point being?”

“Since we’re not onto world domination yet, we can’t help but not be together all the time.”

“Idiot.” Suguru presses a finger on Satoru’s forehead, earning him a pout. “No world domination. Keeping the peace is enough.”

“Mmmm…yeah but I still want to do something about those idiotic higher-ups.”

“You’re too chaotic for your own good. How about settling here and teaching with me instead?”

“Suguru.” Satoru’s tone is suddenly serious. His hands grabbed at Suguru’s waist, pulling him close. “Is that a marriage proposal? You know I’m gonna say yes.”

“Still thinking about it.”

“What a tease.” Satoru’s fingers find their way through Suguru’s hair, undoing his bun to let his hair loose. He then leans forward, uttering lazily against his mouth, “If you don’t propose first, I might just do it ahead of you.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe.” With a smile, Satoru closes the distance with a kiss.

Suguru sighs into it, letting Satoru lazily nibble on his lips. Some days, it’s more than enough to just lay down and let time pass, no rush, no urgency, just the two of them entangled in each other’s arms. A jujutsu sorcerer’s life is always busy, especially those of the strongest ones, so when a window of opportunity opens itself up just to relax and be with someone you care most about, one can only give into it.

_ _

A familiar ringtone wakes Suguru from his sleep, his eyes opening to the darkness. The analog clock by the wall shows 07:21 PM…he has been out for a few hours. A weight is draped over him, rendering him unable to move for a moment.

“Satoru.”

“Hm?”

“Phone.”

Satoru doesn’t budge. “That’s yours.”

“Well, how can I move with you wrapped around me?”

After a slight pause, Satoru reaches for the phone himself and answers the call. “Hello? Oh, Auntie, you called! Yeah, he’s right here. Nah, you didn’t bother us at all. I’ll give the phone to him now.”

Suguru takes the call, stifling a yawn as he answers, “Hello Mom, it’s been a while.”

He watches as Satoru lazily walks to the cabinet and pulls out a set of comfortable clothes, simultaneously gracing him with an unhindered view of his naked back.

“Yeah, it’s good here, just a bit busy with the students’ upcoming field assignment…Hm? Wait let me ask,” he covers the mouthpiece and sits up, “Satoru, Mom’s asking when we can visit.”

“As soon as you’re free,” his head comes out of the shirt, hair all messy, giving him a youthful and unrestrained look, “I have all the privilege to request a leave anytime I want. I’ll go get us dinner, okay?”

“Sure, go ahead.” Suguru waves him away, returning to the phone call with his mother, “I think we can visit during the break if there’s nothing urgent. Is there something up?”

The door outside shuts close. Satoru turns to his side, his gaze landing on the frames displayed on the bedside table. The largest among them is a group picture from last winter vacation — him, his parents, Satoru, and the four kids. For some reason, it felt like a family picture, so he had it especially framed, taking center spot among the others.

“Well, the girls are always on their phones in their free time, of course, they’d be easier to contact than me. It’s a bit busy handling a class of five, they said it’s already a big batch. Yes, yes, I’ll tell them that.”

Ten years ago, after Suguru has successfully rescued Mimiko and Nanako from that one village, he immediately went to his parent's house to ask for their help. After all, what does a seventeen-year-old know about taking care of kids? His parents were initially shocked, but upon hearing the situation, they immediately took pity on the girls and gladly took them in. You’re always in Tokyo anyway, the house feels a bit empty without a kid, they said. But the girls wanted otherwise. After a bit of coaxing, Suguru managed to convince them to stay in his family’s house until at least he graduates from Jujutsu Tech, then he will take them back to Tokyo to live with him.

Little did he know, Satoru would also pick up two kids to take care of, and this was after he declared he would not babysit anymore after they completed their task with Riko two years prior. They’re not simple kids either; though they go by the surname Fushiguro, the boy — Megumi — has an inherited technique of the Zen’ins, and yet Satoru fought tooth and nail to be their guardian. Since he didn’t want them to be involved with the jujutsu world yet, he decided to let the kids stay in Sendai until Megumi has to attend Jujutsu Tech.

The twins and the Fushiguros occasionally met when Suguru would come to Sendai with Satoru, but last year’s winter, they decided to spend it in Suguru’s home much to his parents’ delight, and they were one complete family.

Suguru smiles at the memory, just as his mother finishes her long list of reminders for the kids on the other side of the phone.

“Okay, okay, you take care, too. I won’t forget. Love you. Tell Dad I love him, too. Bye.”

After stretching a bit, Suguru finally gets up from the bed and picks up his scattered clothes on the floor, dressing himself up. Just as he is about to wear his shirt, he catches sight of the marks on his body, most especially the bruising spot on the nook of his neck.

“Goddamnit, Satoru,” he mutters, coming closer to the mirror to check how badly Satoru left evidence. “Gonna make you pay next time.”

“Dinner’s here!” Just then, Satoru’s head pops from the doorway, his blue eyes peeking right above the rim of his sunglasses. He sees Suguru standing in front of the mirror, then chuckles audibly.

“Shut it.”

“What?” A sly smile grows on Satoru’s lips as he strides closer to Suguru. He caresses the bruising mark on the nook of Suguru’s neck, then bends down to lightly kiss it, murmuring, “Any complaints about my service earlier?”

“Magnificent as always,” Suguru sighs defeatedly, “The marks you leave though…”

“I made sure your uniform will hide this,” Satoru winks at him in the mirror. “Come on, I got food.”

He drags them to the dinner table where two bowls of meatballs and steaming rice are waiting for them, “Here, eat up.”

“You bought this?”

“No, the kids made that. Yuji was teaching them earlier when I dropped by. Mimiko and Nanako especially made these meatballs for you.”

“And how about the meatballs in the bowl you’re eating?”

“Megumi made this for me.”

“…”

“He made this for his friends, but I took it.”

Suguru flashes him a smile, “I love it when you’re being honest.”

“Shut up.”

“Did you really make that much of a bad first impression on that kid? I can’t believe it’s been nine years, but he still hasn’t warmed up to you.”

“I dunno,” Satoru pouts, trying to recall the memory of their first meeting together. “I wish he could rely on me more, you know, like how the girls rely on you.”

“I do think they rely too much on me, I’m still wondering if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Well, I guess it’s because they see me as a parental figure, too. Does Megumi see you like one?”

“…”

“Figured as much. He doesn’t know about the real deal from your negotiations with the Zen’in clan, doesn’t he?”

“No need to tell him that. I don’t want him to feel indebted either way.”

“Mm-mh,” Suguru smiles. Satoru can be such an insensitive prick sometimes, but when about the most important matters, his compassion pulls through. “Megumi’s such a spoiled child with you.”

“As if you’re not spoiling the twins yourself? Why is Mimiko’s phone new again?”

“Ah…her previous one got destroyed while on a mission with Nanako last week. Of course, I had to buy a new one immediately.” Suguru reaches into Satoru’s plate and grabs one of the meatballs, quickly eating it before Satoru can complain. “Unlike you, buying stuff for Megumi and Tsumiki even though they don’t need it yet. A good thing those two kids have a sound head above their shoulders. You’re such a bad influence — huh, these meatballs sure have so much ginger.”

In revenge, Satoru steals one of Suguru’s meatballs as well, munching on it with much gusto, “Gonna have to use my money somewhere, you know, since you still don’t want to marry and all.”

“Can we get married here in Japan?”

“Mmm, I don’t think so. Not yet. Flying to another country to make it happen is no big problem though, just say the word.”

“Since when have you been a fan of formalities?” Suguru raises an eyebrow at him, “Don’t use me as an excuse to squander your fortune.”

“Come on! Think of it: when we get married, you’ll be officially under the Gojo clan. We’ll have two Special Grades in one family, the higher-ups would be so pissed!”

“You!” Suguru gives him a light kick underneath the table, “And here I thought you’re being serious. Turns out you just want to get under those old men’s nerves.”

“Of course, I’m serious! Just noting out the fact that there’s that bonus,” Satoru grins, wiggling his eyebrows, “What do you think?”

So many years have passed, it can be said that they’ve also developed in different aspects. But in simple moments like this, Suguru is reminded that though the two of them have grown together, many things never really change through the passing of time. Just like when Satoru once suggested the idea of going against Master Tengen and he readily agreed to it, this newer plan doesn’t seem less achievable. What’re a few higher-ups with the two strongest jujutsu sorcerers in Japan?

Finally, Suguru grins back, “Sounds like a great deal to me.”

[eleventhdoctorsangel]

Where is the real me

Summary: Ever since quirks became the new normal the US decided to try to recreate some powers from the movies such as Marvel and DC. I happen to be one of those people that they recreated powers on. I was the lucky or unlucky one depending on how you look at it that got scarlet witch powers. I've was recently got accepted into UA college.

A/n: This is an aged up fic. The UA students will be college age. Since I decided to make this story a love triangle between the reader, bakugou and Dabi and since bakugou and the reader would be a early age teen in the original story I didn't want the FBI to be breaking down my door so aging them up was the way to go.

“What’s the matter you two? You guys look scared. You dodged the attack so you can still fight can’t you? Come and get me.” Bakugou said. I started to walk slowly over to him. “You need to stop this right now. You acting childish.” I said. “Oh I’m the childish one. Here you are helping the team. Didn’t you tell me that we were a team?” Bakugou said. “I’m making sure that the damage you are trying to cause doesn’t affect the weapon. Because if this was real and we were guarding a real weapon with would have gone off by now.” I said. “Come in what’s the situation.” Midoriya said. “Are you ignoring me again? I’ll get your attention.” Bakugou said. “Bakugou. Use that stored-up power again and I’ll stop this fight. Your team will lose. ” All Might said through the loud speakers. “Huh?” Bakugou asked. “To employ such a strong attack indoors is inviting the destruction of the stronghold you should be protecting. That’s a poor strategy whether you’re a hero or a villain. The penalty would be a massive loss of points.” All might said. Bakugou let out a frustrated yell. “The pillar by the window. Get there now!” Midoriya said. “Fine. We’ll fight hand to hand.” Bakugou yelled and used his quirk to launched himself towards Midoriya and I. But before I could do anything to stop him he out stretched a hand at me shooting a blast at me. Just like before I caught it within my energy and kept it contained. “Come on you got to be kidding me.” Bakugou said. But this time the blast seemed a bit stronger than the last one I stopped. It had caused me to fall down on one knee. By the time I stopped that blast I heard two more go off. Son of bitch he distracted me. “Here it comes nerd! The famous right hook you were whining about!” Bakugou yelled. Bakugou slammed his right hand against Midoriya side as he grabbed his arm using his quirk to turn himself around. “Stop!” I yelled. “Deuk! Don’t you ever forget what you are! You’re a weakling!” Bakugou yelled as he flipped Midoriya over his shoulder slamming him on the ground. Midoriya was quick to get up and started to run away standing on the other side of the room. “Why won’t you use your damn quirk against me? Still think you can stop me without it?” Bakugou asked. “That’s not it.” Midoriya said. “You’ve been hiding your true power for years. What’s the deal Deku? Did you think you were better than me this entire time?” Bakugou asked. “That’s what you think? You idiot. You’ve always been stronger Kacchan. I know that you’re better than me.  Can’t you see? That’s why I wanna beat you. Because you’re amazing!” Midoriya said with tears in his eyes. “You’re even more of an idiot than I realized. Come at me!” Bakugou yelled. Then the two of them started to run full force at each other. Bakugou got ready to throw another blast while I saw Midoriya’s arm start to glow. “I said stop!” I yelled. I watched as my red energy start to make its way over to the two of them. “Both of you stop!” All Might yelled. “Uraraka now!” Midoriya yelled. Right as my red energy reached the two of them Midoryia got the full force of Bakugou’s attack while his went up into the ceiling. I started to stop Midoriya’s attack but I was struggling. It broke through the ceiling causing debris to start raining down. I kept the debris in its place. I started to hear the windows start to break. I let out a scream as the ceiling start to fix itself and I could hear the glass start to fix itself too. I started to feel lightheaded I dropped my arms to my side as my legs gave out from under me sending me to the ground. 

“This was your big plan. From the very beginning wasn’t it? You were playing me this entire time you bastard.” Bakugou said. “I wasn’t going to use it. Because I can’t control it. My body just can’t handle the backlash of my power yet. Mr. Aizawa said I’d be useless. But this was all that I could think of. This is the only was I had a chance at winning.” Midoriya said. “The hero team wins!” All Might yelled. I heard the sound of something falling to the ground. I looked up to see that Midoriya was now on the ground.

I wanted to go over to see if Midoriya was okay but every time I tried to get up my legs gave out from under me. “Your indoor combat training is over.” All Might said. A few minutes later All might came into the building. He went to check on Midoriya first. He ordered some medical robots from the nurse to come and get Midoriya. Then he came over to me. “Are you okay young Y/n?” All Might asked as he kneeled down. “I’m fine. I just never used that much of my power before. I just need a minute. But you might want to go check on Bakugou looks like he having some sort of panic attack.” I said. “You seem to be right young Y/n.” All Might said as he got up and went over to Bakugou who by then had started to breathe heavily. Bakugou seemed to be lost in his thoughts to notice All Might come up to him putting a hand on his shoulder. “Young Bakugou cool your jets. Let’s go review your work. Whether you win or lose you can always take something away from an experience like this. As long as you’re open to learning.” All might said. I tried to get up my legs were still a bit wobbly but other than I could walk just fine.

Bakugou, Tenya, Ochako and I followed All might back to the watch room where the other students were watching the fights. “Well despite the results. The MVPs of this exercise is Young Iida and Young Y/l/n!” All might said. Wait a damn minute. Wait a damn minute. “Huh?” Tenya asked confused and I was right there with him. “Shouldn’t it be one of the heroes instead since they’re the winners?” Tsu asked. “Mm! Valid question. Why didn’t I choose one of those two? Who has a guess?” All might said. “Sir! I can tell you why! Iida embraced this challenge. He was the only one who truly adapted to his assigned role. I’ll explain. Bakugou’s judgement was clouded by a personal grudge against Midoriya. As you pointed out earlier launching a large scale attack indoors was a foolish move. It could have been disastrous. Similarly Midoriya’s  plan was also poorly thought out considering the amount of damage that he received. He rendered himself helpless. Not smart. As for Uraraka… She let her guard down mid battle and her final attack was far too reckless given the hypothetical stakes. If she’d treated the fake weapon as though it were real she never would’ve risked using such an imprecise move. As for Y/n she managed to keep any damage that Bakugou and Midoriya would have caused to a bear minimal. She tried to make Bakugou stop but when he didn’t she didn’t force it on him but made sure that the weapon wouldn’t have gone off if it was real. “Iida was fully prepared for his opponent’s arrival he had a strategy and never lost sight of his mission to protect the dummy weapon even if he was foiled in the end. Technically the hero team won yes but they took advantage of the fact that this was training. They didn’t respect the spirit of the trial.” A girl with long black hair explained. “Yes well you over looked a few things. Young Iida could have relaxed a little bit in the exercise but otherwise you nailed it!” All might said giving a thumbs up. I laughed a little as I shook my head. “One should always start with the basics and devote themselves wholeheartedly to learning. That’s the only real way to become a top hero.” She said. Everyone looked at her in shock. “Now then. Time to blow this joint. Let’s move on to the next match! Think about everything was saw and discussed as you tackle this training for yourself.” All might said. “Yes sir!” All the other students said. All might drew the next to team which was B for the heroes and I for the villains.  I started to get a little dizzy again. I decided not to say anything as I watched the fight.

I watched as one of the boys on Team B walked out of the building while the other who was the boy I sit front of stay inside. Then the whole building was covered in ice. The room also got cold fast. I looked around to see almost everyone shivering. But Tsu was asleep. Which seem a bit odd. “He incapacitated them without compromising the weapon of his teammate. Take close note of his technique students.” All might said. “Woah he’s so strong!” A male voice said. I watched as he place a hand on the fake weapon. “The hero team wins!” All might yelled. Just like that all the ice melted away. “Holy crap.” Another male voice said. “That guy’s kind of intimidating.” Another said. “He got in on a recommendation so he must be good.” Tsu said. “I say if there’s enough time that he and Y/n should got against each other now that would be an interesting fight.” One of the guys said. “Moving on! Time to gather round for a review of the second match. After that we’ll jet on over to our next battle.” All might said. “Yes sir.” Everyone said.

Soon all the matches were over and they were pretty interesting to watching. Expect maybe with the kid that was with the black hair girl. He acted like a pervert so I will have to be careful around that one. The last battle ended just a few minutes before class was about to end which made almost everyone groan since they really wanted me to go against the guy on team B. We walked back to the entrance of the training area. There were a few students talking which made All might blew his whistle. “That’s a wrap! Super work. You really stepped up to the plate and we didn’t have any major injuries expect for Midoriya. You should be proud. Excellent first day of training all around!” All might said giving us a thumbs up. “it’s nice to hear some encouraging words after our homeroom class. Mr. Aizawa was kind of a buzzkill.” Tsu said. What have I missed? Whatever it was is probably a good thing. “I’m happy to bring such staggering positivity to my alma mater! That’s all for now folks. I should go and check on Young Midoriya’s progress! Now watch how a pro exits. Like he’s got somewhere to be!” All might said then ran off leaving a cloud of smoke behind him. “Okay you guys that is a hero.” One of the boys said. “Aw I’ll never be able to run that fast.” Another boy said. “Super awesome!” Another one said while putting a hand to his mouth and that one was the pervert.

All of the girls started to walk out and I followed them. “So Y/n is it?” One of the boys asked. I stopped in my tracks and turn back around. “Yes?” I asked. “Is it true that you were experimented on when you were younger?” A boy with red hair asked. “Sorry Y/n I didn’t mean to tell everyone.” Tsu said. “It’s fine Tsu I don’t mind. Yes I was experimented on when I was younger.” I said. “She also mentioned that your quirk was recreated from the superhero movies and it looked really familiar but couldn’t remember who’s was it?” A boy with blonde hair with a black lightning bolt streak in it. “It was the scarlet witch.” I said. “A real babe come to life.” The perverted boy said. “Yeah I have problem ending you.” I said pointing at the boy who looked scared to death. “Yes ma’ma.” He said. “That also goes for the other girls. If you make a perverted comment about any of them I will make you go through your worse fear.” I said. “Yes ma’ma.” He said. “Good.” I said turning back around to follow the other girls back to the locker room.

Once we walked into the locker room a girl with pink skin pulled me into a hug. “Girl thank you. He’s been making so many comments since yesterday.” She said. “Yeah no problem.” I said hugging her back. “Yeah thanks a lot.” The girl with black hair said. I nodded. “You’re pretty strong too.” A girl with purple hair said. “So are you guys.” I said. “Yeah but none of us could go up against Bakugou like you did.” Ochako said. I guess what Ochako said was kinda right. “What are your names?” I asked. “I’m Mina Ashido.” The girl with the pink skin said. “I’m Momo Yaoyorozu.” The girl with black hair said. “I’m Kyouka Jirou.” The girl with purple hair said. “I’m Toru Hagakure.” The girl was completely invisible said. “Well it’s nice to meet you all.” I said. “We should all get changed we wouldn’t want to be late don’t want to make Mr. Aizawa mad.” Momo said. We all got changed out of our hero costumes and back into our uniforms. This is something I will have to get use to.

A/N: I will be taking possible super hero names at this time

Taglist: @flowersgirl02 @jazzylove

[george5259999]

Week 8 - Digital Iteration

This week's tutorial was really interesting and entertaining. One of my personal hobbies is digital rendering (mainly in Blender), but it was really nice to go out of my comfort zone to a program I have only ever used once before. When I opened 3ds Max for the first time, I noticed how similar the interface looked to Maya. Being Autodesk programs natively, it made sense, but it was nice to have some element of familiarity.

During my year 10 and 11 high school holidays I completed a Cert IV in digital design for games and film. That coursed used Maya and Unreal Engine 4, so I had a bit of experience with the interface and principles of polygon modelling. However, 3ds max was probably one of the popular programs which I had the least experience with; so it was still a hugely informative and insightful process trying to adapt my knowledge between programs.

I started with the primitives menu, and imported a sphere into the workspace. I initially found myself struggling with the interface. There are a lot of options and features which are not necessary when learning the basics of a program. When starting to learn any 3d program, I often find myself spoiled for choice, and perhaps even too overwhelmed. I was very glad when the tutorial suggested hiding some superfluous menus from view, as I felt that it really cleared up the screen. After aligning the views (Image 1), I experimented with the modifiers tab.

The modifiers in 3ds max were really interesting to play around with. Working with meshes can sometimes be a tedious and particular process, but it was really enjoyable creating something with no end goal in mind. I liked how using a squeeze modifier (Image 2) could generate an egg shape with the sphere primitive, and how the melt, twist and wave modifiers (Images 3, 4 and 5) could be pushed to the mesh extremes. When working with a mesh, the topology is important to the quality of the final form. As the entire object is constructed of tris and quads, the way they are situated on the model, and their resolution play an important role in what you see. For example, the more I increased the twist modifier, the more I could see the vertices sticking out of the shape. It goes to show that unless the resolution is increased, there are limitations to the modifiers usage, as they can 'break' your model.

The modifiers in 3ds Max are very different to the ones in blender, I definitely feel like in any 3D program, anything you can create in one is attainable in the other; however 3ds max has a lot of mesh deformation modifiers out of the box. Although I thought these created really interesting and abstract shapes which I certainly enjoyed, I realised that I couldn't think of many instances where I would use some of the modifiers on a real project, but I think they are really valuable for niche tasks.

My favourite part about the exercise was learning poly modelling in 3ds Max. Poly modelling is a core part of most 3d modelling programs; and the skills are usually transferrable between. There are some really fantastic modelling tools in 3ds max which make the process of modelling enjoyable. I had a look around my desk for some quick and interesting forms I could make, and started with a really simple apple using the sphere I had in the viewport. I utilised the 'soft select' (Image 6) feature to move many verts at once, to create the top and bottom crease in the apple where the stem travels. To create the stem, I used the cylinder primitive and used the taper/bend modifier to create a curved and natural form (Image 7).

Next, I used the cylinder primitive and used the scale and extrusion feature to get the barrel of a pen. To create the tip of the pen I target welded the vertices together to get the point. I created a new cube primitive to create the clip on the pen, and extruded it (Image 8); also creating a bevelled edge to round it out slightly. Using the same techniques, I also made a stool from my room (Image 9). I really wanted to experiment with as many features as I could in these exercises, so with each 'sketch' I tried to focus on a tool I hadn't used before - as it felt like the best way to improve (Image 10). Still getting comfortable with the Poly Modelling in 3ds max, I also made a cupcake (Image 11) from the basic cylinder primitive to try and improve my modelling quality and speed; making simple extrusions, scaling the rings in, rotating them to get the icing layers. I played around with NURMS subdivision on the mesh to smooth it out, and was really happy with the results.

Finally, I wanted to use all the skills in conjunction, as well as using a tool which really sped up the workflow. I knew from Blender and Maya that loop cuts sped up the process, but I could not find them in 3ds max. After researching the issue on different forums, I found that it went under a different name; Swift loop Though it was very basic problem solving, it goes to show that these skills and programs have transferrable knowledge; and doing a simple search of your problem can lead to new ways of solving them. Swift loop was really useful in creating a loop cut between two parallel edges; adding more geometry for manipulation. When creating the tape dispenser, I noticed that the subdivision was rounding the model out too much, to the point where it no longer registered as a tape dispenser. So I used the swift loop feature to create loop cuts close to the bordering edges to reduce the interpolation between the curve (Images 12 and 13). This taught me that the subdivision modifiers aren't just something that can be added to a model to instantly make it look better; they require some manipulation and editing to get the desired effect.

I found 3ds max challenging but really interesting and insightful. As I am familiar with other programs of similar nature, it took me a while to get out of my own head; using shortcuts and hotkeys from the other programs and wondering why it wouldn't work. Overall, I think that its really rewarding to pick up another program, as it expands my skills and approach to modelling. If I were to redo this activity, I think I would try and make some more complex forms now that I have gotten more comfortable with 3ds Max; perhaps moving onto a product or more complex object. I am really looking forward to creating the bottle concepts in 3ds max next week, as I believe it will be another chance to improve my skills.

Thoughts on the Pre-Class activity - Andrew Simpson case Study

I believe that digital modelling and physical models have a closer relationship than people think. Form and Materials are an important part of perception, but there are qualities of both physical and digital modelling provide when compared to one another. Digital models allow for material iteration, simulation and rendering. Physical models allow for the physical contact, and interaction with the end user. When Andrew discusses the importance of materiality, it drives home the necessity of experimentation and versatility in design. The idea of new materials informed new processes in his decision making process, and it lead to different material types being explored.

I found Andrew's discussion on model fidelity really insightful. I perceive high and low fidelity models to represent how close the model is to a refined product. Whilst a high fidelity model would be fantastic to show clients or to use in renders, low fidelity models are required to quickly iterate on concepts and ideas to test the boundaries of the product e.g. material, form, colour. High fidelity models are more refined, and have more time put into them, to explore how the end product will feel for the user. High fidelity and low fidelity models are both important, and when Andrew talks about the non-uniform relationship of the two in his process, it shows that design is not a linear process; rather a circular one driven by prototyping and feedback. If a high fidelity model still doesn't feel right, faster, low fidelity models can be made testing a range of new ideas; to be taken through the process of design once again.

[9worldstales]

MCU Loki Ep 3 “Lamentis 1” intensive analysis

Before we start I’ll warn you. As far as I’m involved this episode, compared to the others, is pretty weak in terms of plot and dialogues. It has some good moments but it has also other moments that… are not so good. So consider yourself warned.

We start a new episode and, after the usual summary of what happened previously we notice that… the opening music has changed again. This time it’s “Demons” by Hayley Kiyoko. The Marvel studios writing is still green and gold and the change of musici s good because this is the music that’s also being played at the beginning of the episode which shows two girls in a local, drinks in front of them, checking a menu.

The scene is so ordinary at first one might not immediately realize they’re actually Hunter C-20 and the Loki Variant we’ve met in the past episode.

They’re chatting as two friends would do, at least on the surface.

Actually the Loki Variant is trying to get C-20 to tell her how many people are guarding the Time-Keepers.

As C-20 realizes the question is out of place, the scenery changes and the Loki Variant distracts her to just asks her the same question. C-20 is about to reply when she realizes she knows the place where they’re in but not the Loki Variant, who however reassures her telling her it’s just she’s tired.

The scene switches and we see the truth.

C-20 is actually unconscious and the Loki Variant is pressing her fingers against her temple. The place they were in was all a dream, an illusion created by the Loki Variant who now asks C-20 how do she find the elevators… which either means she decided to change question or that they’ve skipped part of the interrogation because C-20 never replied to the question about how many people are guarding the Time-Keepers.

Whatever, we learn the elevators leading to them are gold.

The Loki Variant moves away her hand, smiling, as if this was all she wanted to know then moves her gaze to the monitors and spot Loki among the other TVA agents.

Maybe it’s just me but although Loki looks pretty different from her it seems almost as if she has recognized him.

The question if the Loki Variant was really a Loki or someone who, after meeting him, pretended to be him is still in the air… even though, of course, there’s the possibility that Loki Variant had met other Loki Variants who looked like our Loki. We’ll see.

We get the theme with the Loki logo and then we switch back to the TVA. In case you’ve forgotten the TVA is going through mobilization due to the sacred timeline having been attacked in the past episode.

The Loki Variant appears in the TVA and ties her hair before walking in search of the elevators. I really hope C-20 gave her other hints beyond they’re golden or she would have to go through all the TVA to find them.

The Timedoor remains open behind her.

Now… from the way she acts it doesn’t seem like she wanted Loki to follow her… and she’s clearly familiar with the working of the tempad and timedoor… so it feels weird how she didn’t worry Loki might have indeed followed her through the timedoor.

It was fine if this was exactly her plan but like this… it’s just weird.

Anyway, back to the Loki Variant she tries to enchant a hunter but her magic doesn’t work because, remember? Magic doesn’t work in the TVA but evidently the Loki Variant had no idea which tells us she never been at the TVA or when she went there she didn’t try to use magic and clearly she hadn’t asked about it at C-20.

The Loki Variant ends up fighting him. She steals his baton and uses it to reset him. 3 more hunters come and she disposes of them and okay, the show is trying to portray her as a cool fighter.

I’ve mixed feelings on this because I approve she’s a cool fighter but I remember Loki didn’t have an easy time fighting B-15. So sure, maybe B-15 is better than those 3 hunters but it wasn’t said anywhere, therefore the whole thing gets a little messy.

I mean, we saw Loki fighting in the past. Although he wasn’t the strongest Asgardian fighter he could hold his ground against Frost Giants, Dark Elves, and Hela’s dead army.

So okay, he was weaponless but still, if Loki has troubles dealing with B-15 who saw the movies come to the conclusion that B-15 alone is stronger than some Frost Giants, some Dark Elves, and some men from Hela’s dead army.

Then the Loki Variant gets into the TVA and she can fight 3 TVA Hunters at the same time with no problem. So either they’re pretty weak or the idea is that she’s pretty amazing… but still this makes our Loki comparatively very weak compared to her and it gets worse if people hadn’t seen the movies and don’t know he can fight.

It’s true later we’ll learn the Loki Variant likes to use pure strength wherein Loki prefers other techniques so she might have affined her fighting techniques but Loki still was from a warrior culture and forced to fight since he had to go to battle with his brother.

If they’re both Loki they should have the same potential. On the other side it might be it’s just I don’t get how they get these Variants. The TVA jumped on Loki as soon as he did something he wasn’t supposed to. How did the other Variants instead managed to get so different?

Whatever, it’s rumoured the next episode will deal with this Loki Variant backstory so we might learn it there.

Anyway as the Loki Variant dispose of the Hunters Loki, who in Ep 2 also went through the door just before it disappeared after him, reaches the TVA. He somehow knows which way the Loki Variant went but, before walking after her, he gets the knives Mobius wanted to give him and B-15 put in a wardrobe.

Was that wardrobe left open? Does Loki know how to pick a lock? Or did he broke it? No idea.

Anyway the Loki Variant walks quickly and reaches the golden elevator where she disposes of two more hunters.

Loki pants but arrives right behind her while walking (not sure why he’s panting then, did he too fought Hunters?).

Loki and the Loki Variants face each other, weapons in hand, the Loki Variant having grabbed her sword she didn’t use before because… she was too cool for it?

Loki wants to question her, wants to make sure she’s a Loki.

The Loki Variant rudely tells him if he has nothing else to do.

They decide they’re each other in the other way and start fighting.

The Loki Variant seems slightly better though she’s clearly not aiming to kill him as she did with the Hunters. I’m not sure if Loki is holding back as well. Loki admits considering to work with her but deciding against it because she lacks vision so he wants her to come with him, willingly or not, and use her to get at the Time-Keepers. Loki manages a couple of good moves and then they end up in a stalemate interrupted by Renlayer and two more hunters.

The Loki Variant manages to use Loki’s distraction to get behind him, using him as a shield and pointing her sword at him, telling Renslayer if she’ll come closer she’ll kill Loki.

It’s not Renslayer cares (she probably thinks it would be better to get rid of Loki as he’s a negative influence to her favourite analyst) as she tells her to go for it.

Loki uses the Loki Variant’s distraction to steal the tempad from her and open a timedoor below them, causing them to fall through it as Renslayer attempts to hit them.

From the way she looks Loki I get the feeling she wasn’t targeting just the Variant but him as well.

Anyway Loki and the Variant are lucky and end up on a bed.

This time the Timedoor should have closed immediately because neither Renslayer nor another hunter try to jump through it to give them chase.

Loki and the Variant fight for the fallen Tempad. The Variant slams Loki’s head against a table, managing to get the Tempad only to discover the battery needs to be recharged and so it doesn’t work.

After remaining on the ground for some moments Loki stands again. She tries using her sword against him and he uses his magic to come behind her and toss her on the ground before grabbing the Tempad as… the Variant tries to grab him and fail. Her attempt seems weak though.

Overall… I think they should have planned all those fighting scenes better since there’s so much of it in those first 7 minutes.

The Variant demands it back as she claims he doesn’t know how to recharge it… and while this will turn out to be true, how would she know?

Loki claims he does know how to recharge it as she’s not the only tech savvy Loki… which could be true since Loki showed he could learn very fast how to use the Time Twister and and no problems to previously use the Tempad to open a time door, never mentioning they showed him video of how the TVA worked and he learnt about the working of the Time charges.

The Variants complain he shouldn’t call her like that which confuses Loki as he sees no problem with being called ‘tech savvy’. The Variant clarifies she doesn’t want to be called ‘Loki’.

As she tries to grab the Tempad, this time without trying to hit him (no idea why as sending him on the ground might have helped), Loki causes it to disappear.

She comments that he’s ‘fully a magician’ which is better than Thor in “Thor: Ragnarok” saying he was a witch. Loki is still not impressed and grabs back his knives claiming he’ll make her disappear now.

They’re about to fight again when something hits the place they’re in.

Loki asks her if that was one of her powers while she worries about where did he sent them.

She realizes he sent them on Lamentis-1 in 2077 and she calls him an idiot as this is the worse apocalypse they could end in since the moon is about to crash and destroy the planet and no one will survive it.

On a sidenote… the moon about to fall… isn’t well rendered.

Anyway Loki correctly points out he didn’t have the time to chose but again, I get the feeling they’re trying to paint the Loki Variant as better than him. In truth Loki did good as well, using his magic to steal and hid the Tempad… and it makes sense she’s more knowledgeable about apocalypses as that’s her Tempad and she might have been there previously but still it feels as she’s above him.

The Variant saves Loki from blowing up although she claims she did it solely to save the Tempad as it’s her only way out of Lamentis-1. Loki helps her as well only to be told she doesn’t need it.

I think the idea is that the Variant, like Loki, tries to protect an image of self confidence.

They hid in small… cabin? To catch their breath and the Variant gets close to Loki enough she can rest her hand on his neck, him letting her do it without protesting. However, when she tries to enchant him, she claims it didn’t work and asks him if it’s because he’s a magician. Loki says it’s actually because his mind is too strong.

Now it would be an interesting twist if actually she did manage to enchant him and all we see after that scene is an illusion to get Loki to do something… but I genuinely doubt it.

Overall the scene feels weird with Loki allowing her to get so close and yet resisting to her enchantment totally with her dropping the idea of enchanting him immediately… as if they were trying to suggest something romantic.

And okay, selfcest is a thing in fanfictions and I’ve nothing against it but… it feels out of place in such situation. I’m all for Loki learning to love himself, but when I say so I mean HIMSELF, not another version of himself.

They consider fighting again then Loki tries to propose a truce as fighting there in such a situation would be pointless, since they’re short of time and neither of them can leave until they can turn on the Tempad.

Honestly… the Loki Variant is so fighting prone she makes me think more of a Thor Variant than of a Loki Variant. For all she defends her plan, she doesn’t really seem someone who plans things and acts rationally… and she somehow seems to have a terrible opinion of Loki, even if supposedly she has just met him, as she thinks the only reason he had to save her was because he needed her to recharge the Tempad, refuses to be called Loki and insists on her need to kill him.

Of course this might be her own way to not show weakness but still…

Anyway the Loki Variant agrees to cooperate by pointing out that there should be power on that moon so if they could get enough to make the Tempad work they would be fine.

Anyway they leave to search for the power source and the rocks falling on them become magically a lot less.

The Loki Variant continues to be rude with Loki:

“And can you shut up? Just because I have to work with you doesn't mean I wanna hear your voice.”

She’s also annoyed Loki doesn’t seem so worried from the ‘imminent death’ they’re about to risk and doesn’t want him to call her “Variant”, she wants to be called Sylvie even though she used to be called “Loki” but, apparently, she has dropped that identity.

Since our Loki criticizes how she’s going by that alias (it’s not very Loki-like) they’ve a discussion on what makes a Loki a Loki.

According to our Loki it’s ‘independence, authority, style.

At this point the show acknowledges the TVA isn’t good by having Sylvie saying:

Sylvie: So, naturally you went to work for the boring, oppressive time police.

To be honest, it’s not much because being boring isn’t really a crime but well, at least they have acknowledged they’re oppressive.

Loki counters he’s not working for them, he’s a consultant… which means nothing because he’s a consultant working for them. But whatever, I get he might not feel like telling her they had threatened to reset him if he didn’t cooperate.

Sylvie accuses him of not knowing what he wants… and I’ll be honest, maybe it’s right but since they’ve hardly spent any time together at this point so, unless she is assuming he works exactly like her and therefore she too doesn’t know what she wants, she doesn’t feel reliable.

I really hope she’s not playing the role of the self insert for the author in this bit.

Anyway Loki made clear previously he aimed to get at the Time-Keepers I’ll say the overall idea is HE KNOWS he wants to get at the Time-Keepers and thinks playing consultant will get him close to them. He might not know what he’ll do afterward should he get close to them and he might have other goals in addition to that but still… he seems to know a bit of what he wants.

Not that I find Loki’s plan a particular bright one as I’ll say it’s clear the TVA isn’t planning to let him meet the Time-Keepers not even if he were to save the Sacred Timeline 10 times in a single day because he is and remains a Variant and this makes them look down on him, never mention he’s considered insubordinate, stubborn, unpredictable and an evil, lying scourge and that they would probably consider him meeting the Time-Keepers only after they had brainwashed him into compliance.

Anyway the following discussion is interesting.

Loki: Oh, yeah? What about you? Your years-in-the-making plan was to tear the place down, create the ultimate power vacuum, and then just walk away. I'd never have done that.

Sylvie: Yeah? Well, I'm not you. Can we get on with this now?

I like to think that Loki would never do that because he knows a power vacuum isn’t a good thing. He was part of a ruling house, so he would probably know this would only result in chaos and, possibly, war until a new leader would rise to power.

This also might tie in with his mindset in “The Avengers” in which he believed that if humans were to be united under his rule they would cease fighting among them. To Loki used to Odin’s absolutist monarchy the various governments of Earth bitching among them might look like there’s an ultimate power vacuum that’s causing wars among states.

Sylvie instead seems to be moved just by her idea of destroying the TVA and who cares about what happens afterward.

While wanting to be the one who would fill the power vacuum resulting by getting rid of the Time Keepers might seem to be moved by ambitions, not worrying about the consequences of getting rid of them is not clever.

Anyway Loki sighs. He… is trying to get along with Sylvie more than she’s trying to get along with him, apparently. Does he feel sympathy for her? Hard to say.

They reach an empty city and, on Loki’s prompting Sylvie explain they’ve around 12 hours as things will only get worse.

I’m not an expert in moon crashing but, at the moment, they don’t have anymore asteroids falling on their heads so things seem to be going better… but I actually find weird they are. But maybe it’s just because I’m not an expert in moon crashing.

Loki wonders if a night light could recharge the Tempad, Sylvie pretends it could and asks him for the Tempad but he recognizes it as an attempt to get the Tempad and refuses at which she informs him they need a massive power source to recharge it… and okay, I’m confused again.

They had Loki study how the TVA works. They let him know how the Time charge works and he paid enough attention to it to remember it and… is it they didn’t tell him how the Tempad works or that he didn’t pay attention? I’m not sure which of the two I would find more weird.

Whatever, maybe they just didn’t mention how to recharge it.

Honestly I would just prefer if Loki asked it knowing a night light couldn’t recharge it, just to test her.

They reach a small house with someone living it.

In a very Thor-like fashion Sylvie plans to get inside using brute force to get what she wants which is… surely not energy for the Tempad as it’s clear the place doesn’t have a massive power source.

Loki points out how:

Loki: Brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile.

He’s right and as to prove the point Sylvie only ends up being blasted away as the old lady living in the place has quite a powerful weapon. Loki mocks her before starting a nice chat with the lady and I approve how he handles the whole thing until… he turns himself into the Lady’s husband and try to pretend he’s him without even knowing his character.

In fact he’s too nice with the Lady and gets blasted as well.

And now I roll my eyes because it turns out all they wanted from the lady were answers to some questions.

Sylvie in fact asks her “Where is everyone?” which is a question at which I think the Lady would have replied without need to use violence or disguise as her husband but that honestly feels silly. Sylvie should have known they all left in attempt to escape with the Ark, as she knew about the Ark because, not only she knows it would have enough juice to repower the TemPad but she knew it would get destroyed. So really, she should have expected people to go there.

Loki asks “How do we get there?” which is the only question that makes sense but really, if he wanted to pose the same question as Sylvie which need there was to disguise himself?

The Lady says to go to the train station, though she’ll warn they’ll never get a ticket.

And I go back a little to look at some things.

First thing first. The Lady looks like a human so apparently either we colonized Lamentis 1 or there’s another race of human looking aliens. It’s not a crime but it feels kind of boring.

The bit with first Sylvie then Loki being blasted away present some funny dynamics between the two.

The idea the old Lady calls them devils is… not so good unless she’s again, a human who believes in demon, and even then it feels weird. What’s more she tells them they’re demons yet she gives them the info they’re asking for remarking they didn’t need to use strength or illusions to get that info.

Whatever, we jump at the train station where some sort of guards refuses to let the poor people go on the train.

Loki observes they can’t fight their way on the train, which is something he expects her to want to do because all her plans involve fighting.

I’ll say he doesn’t know her from a long time but yes, so far fighting was part of all the Sylvie’s plans, even when she didn’t need it.

Sylvie says her plan is just to enchant the guard… because yeah, if it’s not fighting for Sylvie, then it’s enchantment. However she mentions possible troubles occurring and at this Loki asks if she plans to make him start shooting and then kill every guard and hijack the train. Sylvie doesn’t deny it… which is kind of dumb as she could have said she would just swap and posses who were to attempt to give them troubles as she had done when she and Loki met.

At this Loki decides they would do things his way and disguises himself as a guard… with Sylvie as his prisoner. Why not disguising Sylvie as a guard as well? No idea.

I mean, it’s unnatural that with a moon about to collapse on them they would worry to have a prisoner board the train to salvation. Much better to let her die there.

Anyway Sylvie complains it’s a shit plan but plays along.

And yeah, all the people there are human looking. Space is not really that diverse, especially since they’re allowing only rich people to board. It reminds me how on the Titanic only the rich people was allowed to go on the lifeboats.

Anyway Loki’s plan seems to work when a guard decides to stop them.

I’m not sure why but Loki seems to talk in an unnatural way as he says he’s taking Sylvie to Shuuro. The guard still wants them to have the tickets and is about to call someone else when Sylvie enchants him.

We could call it teamwork, but since it seems to work smoothly only thanks to Sylvie it feels more like she did all the job.

I’ve mixed feelings for Loki not managing to trick a guard and sounding so unnatural.

I mean, Loki should supposedly be good at this, although yes, in the previous movies, starting with “Thor” he wasn’t always good at this, but here he seems just bad at this.

Whatever.

On the train he claims he can't go backwards on a train and would like for Sylvie to hand him her place. She doesn’t.

Now, who can't go backwards on a train normally suffer of motion sickness… but Loki will give no signs of suffering of it so… why tossing these lines in?

Sylvie though comes out as generally nasty as she claims she can’t switch because she never sit with her back to a door but, as Loki points out, there are doors on both sides.

Once Loki sits down Sylvie starts complaining Loki’s plan wasn’t a plan as plans should have multiple steps, which isn’t necessarily true and anyway her own didn’t have multiple steps either.

Loki doesn’t counter anything, as if trying to be nice and then notices her yawning and suggests her to rest.

She refuses.

Sylvie: I can't sleep in a place like this.

Loki: You can't sleep on a train?

Sylvie: No. I can't sleep around untrustworthy people.

It’s the second time they used this type of dialogue in which Loki seems to misunderstand why Sylvie said.

Loki: Of course I do. You're not the only tech savvy Loki.

Sylvie: Don't ever call me that.

Loki: Tech savvy?

Sylvie: No, a Loki. You're just fully a magician then?

Anyway as Loki is the untrustworthy person I really can’t see what she fears from him. She saw herself how the Tempad doesn’t work so it’s not like he can use it to escape alone.

She encourages Loki to sleep which he refuses and she points out she can’t steal the Tempad form him due to him knowing magic. This prompt Loki to explain his mother taught him magic.

Sylvie asks what she was like and he describes Frigga as ‘A Queen of Asgard. She was good. Purely decent.’

As it will turn out Sylvie doesn’t remember her mother this might be the reason for her question… though she might also try to find some ground to enchant Loki as well.

Anyway she rudely asks him if he’s sure she was his mother. He cheerfully counters he was adopted and asks her if this is a spoiler for her.

I don’t really like this because this discovery was pretty painful for Loki so it makes it look like as, by saying so, he might aim to emotionally hurt Sylvie… which might not even be the case because for all he know she could have been lovely raised by her real parents.

Instead Sylvie points out she knew she was adopted. Is that why the TVA arrested her? Because she knew she was adopted differently from Loki? Or because she presented as a girl? Was she born this way? If that’s the case shouldn’t the TVA go catch her because that wasn’t how she was supposed to look? Or it was Odin’s spell? Anyway again, the TVA shouldn’t have appeared?

Whatever, Loki admits his parents didn’t tell him, then corrects himself saying they eventually told him which is a gross oversimplification because he had to force the truth out of Odin but we aren’t going to talk about this because Loki wants to know about Sylvie’s mother… who is… who?

Sylvie doesn’t remember her, was she Frigga or not?

Whatever, Loki tells her how Frigga used to do magic for him and encourages him, assuring him he could do it as well.

Loki: You know, when I was young, she'd do these little bits of magic for me. Like turn a flower into a frog or cast fireworks over the water. It all seemed impossible. She told me that I'd be able to do it too because... Because I could do anything.

Okay, so this memory from Loki’s past is very nice and confirms the canon Loki was taught magic by Frigga (the scene saying so in “Thor: The Dark World” was cut). Loki shows Sylvie how to make magical firework. Nobody notices Loki using magic which is weird. Sylvie is touched and doesn’t see his display of magic as something that could cause them troubles at all.

Loki goes on saying about Frigga:

Loki: She was the kinda person you'd want to believe in you.

It’s overall a nice chat but then Loki asks Sylvie:

Loki: So, where'd you learn to do the... You know, the... Whatever it is?

It’s enchantment! Loki himself called it so in episode 2! Why this ‘whatever it is’? Is he looking down on her for it?

Sylvie explains she taught herself and Loki asks how it works… because evidently she scene at the end of “Thor” in which he enchanted/possessed Selvig was scrapped by canon.

No, I’m not criticising the series here, it can very well be they scrapped it from canon as in all “The Avengers” there’s no mention of Loki previously controlling Selvig and when he does it in the movie he does so by using the mind stone in the sceptre.

To Loki asking how it works Sylvie would like to show him by enchanting him, which Loki refuses fearing she’s trying to get the Tempad… because really, it’s not like it failed spectacularly at the start of the episode.

Loki starts drinking champagne which Sylvie instead refuses.

They end up talking of the old woman they met, Loki saying it’s a pity she chose to die.

I wish they had talked here of how he chose to die when Odin rejected him but they prefer to talk about LOVE instead.

Sylvie claims she was in love and Loki points out that she hated the man.

Now the idea the lady remained behind because Patrice died is an assumption. Correctly she assumed they wouldn’t let her board the train so it’s possible she merely wanted to spend her last moment at home instead than waiting for a train she wouldn’t be allowed to take.

As if to either deliberately go against Loki or refuse to lose an argument with him Sylvie suggests that ‘love is hate’. So does she love the Time-Keepers and that’s why she wants to blast them away? Or does she love Renslayer?

Loki mocks her slightly, attempting to write down what she said but what he did seems to amuse her. He then asks her if she has a beau.

Sylvie replies she’s in a relationship with a postman, which seems her own attempt at a joke… though since she adds it was only ever just to keep her going she might have had someone.

She feels pretty sad as she says so.

She then turns the conversation on Loki, pointing out how he’s a prince and asking him if he had a would-be-princesses or perhaps, another prince.

So… isn’t Sylvie a princess? Who knows?

As Loki says he had a bit of both, supposedly same as Sylvie he and Sylvie agree those relations vnever felt real.

Loki says he had a bit of both and suspect she also had both as well but none of his relations even felt real.

Sylvie concludes this should mean love is mischief and I get their point but I wish they didn’t generalize. Loki says that’s not it but, to define love, he’ll need another drink.

Somehow between the two Sylvie in that moment seems to be more dismissive of love than Loki.

She then lectures him on how they’re about to try and hijack the power source to a civilization's only hope and since it's not gonna be easy they should rest… which is what Loki suggested her to do but she claimed she couldn’t do around him.

Loki agrees but tells her she should relax her way and he would relax his own.

The scene switches and we see that Sylvie has fallen asleep and is now awaken by Loki singing some Norvegian/Asgardian song, with the other passengers. Loki is back in his own TVA clothes, which worries Sylvie.

A passenger observes him and then decides that’s the right moment to go report his actions to… someone. And it’s the right moment to do it solely because now Sylvie is awake and sees him doing it so she can worry.

Since people there is playing the song Loki is singing and even singing along with him, Loki should have been going at it for a while but, of course, if the guy had done it sooner and Sylvie hadn’t noticed him it wouldn’t have worked well.

Back to Loki he seems to be singing his song to Sylvie and, in fact, when he ends it, he dedicates it to her before swallowing his drink and demanding another, breaking the glass on the floor.

Sylvie goes to scold him for being drunk to which he complains he’s not drunk, he’s full. Only someone said to say full and drunk in Norvegian you use the same word so it can be some sort of wordplay. Or not.

Loki would like her to try some food, Sylvie asks him about his uniform, reminding him how they were supposed to lay low.

Loki insists nobody cares because it’s the end of the world. He’s clearly drunk, he even drops a plate. As she insists something should be up he asks her why she’s so paranoid and she replies:

Sylvie: It must have started when I spent my entire life running from the omniscient fascists you work for.

Okay, it’s nice to learn this small info about Sylvie and to have the TVA referred as omniscient fascists. Just in case someone missed the TVA is a bad organization.

It doesn’t get any deeper than that as Loki switches topic by claiming he has an answer to what love is.

Loki: Love is a dagger. It's a weapon to be wielded far away or up close. You can see yourself in it. It's beautiful. Until it makes you bleed. But ultimately, when you reach for it...

Sylvie: It isn't real.

Loki: Yeah.

Sylvie: Love is an imaginary dagger.

WARNING: THE PREVIOUS BIT WAS WRITTEN WITHOUT ME HAVING SEEN EPISODE 4 AS WELL. THE FOLLOWING ONE WAS INSTEAD WRITTEN AFTER I SAW IT. BEWARE FOR SPOILERS ON EP 4.

So that point of all this is…

“I wrote that really, really quick,” Waldron explains. “I remember I was revising Episode 3 in the two weeks leading up to my wedding. It’s interesting because that's probably the most romantic episode. At that point, Loki is a little bit drunk. That freed me up, where it was just like, ‘Don't think too hard about it,’ which is sort of my first thought that Loki would think here.”

Doesn’t exactly make sense? For Loki, it doesn’t need to make sense for him to be convincing with it, and Waldron relied on that. “I just ran with it, ‘Love is a dagger,’” shares Waldron. “And fortunately, like many of Loki's metaphors, it almost works.” [‘Loki’: The Meaning Behind ‘Love Is A Dagger’]

In short it’s only a drunk Loki’s babbling for Waldron, something that doesn’t need to make sense.

Great, we could talk of the TVA being a fascist organization but no, let’s have Loki say something that doesn’t make sense.

Tom Hiddleston too doesn’t find it anything profound but, at least, he ties it to Loki’s experience with love, which always hurt him.

But in fairness to Loki, this “imaginary dagger” has honestly been his experience in his relationships so far, with Hiddleston continuing that, up until this point, this “is Loki's experience of love, I suppose. He certainly feels like it's not been something he's been close to. It has been some sort of illusion that he has trusted and been let down by.”

 Now, since this is a damn episode about love and Loki and Sylvie being bisexual, instead than getting Loki drunk and coming up with this sort of statements they could have showed up glimpses of his past love relations with men and women. But no, let’s let Loki babble about love because, sorry for the SPOILER but by now I expect everyone and their moms to know and anyway it’s fairly obvious from the setting, the whole episode is about to lead him to the way in which he’ll have a moment with Sylvie in Ep 4.

Anyway the man comes back with 4 or more guards that want… to check Loki’s ticket.

I don’t know how public transportation works on Lamentis 1 but the idea that a man would suspect Loki to not have his ticket because he was drunk and singing with the rest of the passengers and so 4 guards come to check on him just in case he’s actually dangerous is pretty weird.

I’m bad at recognizing people but Loki saying ‘you again’ makes me think that guy is the one who they met at the start of their travel. Anyway, Sylvie doesn’t get in between and possess the buy but let Loki handle matters… only Loki is drunk and instead of conjuring tickets up with magic he conjures up fireworks. So, instead than giving him a fine or telling him ‘no jokes, the tickets now’, they try to restrain him. Note they don’t care about restraining Sylvie and… they let one of Loki’s hands free because why restrain both?

A fight ensues and evidently people in Lamentis 1 are extraordinarily strong because, although fighting wasn’t Loki’s strongest suit COMPARED TO ASGARDIANS, he was still strong enough alone he could hold his ground against Frost Giants and Dark Elves.

Whatever, we’re supposed to believe he’s drunk so that he can’t even throw well his knives and I guess being drunk made him weak but what about Sylvie?

I mean, Sylvie, who had been killing TVA men, despite getting involved in the fight, doesn’t try to kill the guards, nor does Loki. They evidently didn’t even hit them that hard as the guards keep on getting up and two of them manage to toss off the train Loki. Note that when Sylvie tries to toss herself out of the train realizing Loki has the TemPad… THEY TRY TO STOP HER! WHY?!?

It’s so damn convenient for them if both Loki and Sylvie end out of the train!

Once out of the train Loki discharges his jacket for… no reason we can know of. Maybe it got ruined. Whatever.

He walks after the running train for a while before giving up five steps after where Sylvie fell because evidently he realized only then he couldn’t get back on it. At this point Sylvie point her sword at him, demanding the Tempad back and he… decides to give it to her, which he had refused before, but who care because although the TemPad was in a dimensional pocket it somehow got broken during Loki’s fall.

My guess is, since Loki put his hand behind his back, the TemPad wasn’t in a dimensional pocket but Loki merely made it invisible and when he retrieved it and made it visible again it turned out it was broken.

Whatever, he clearly didn’t have the Tesseract or the Casket of Ancient Winters in his back pocket so I don’t see why he couldn’t just use the same dimensional pocket he used back then for the Tempad but had to turn it invisible… except for the fact that they wanted him to break it.

Sylvie starts yelling at him ‘You asshole. You killed us. You're not a serious man. You're a clown. You got drunk on the train.’ Yadda, yadda.

She’s right but the problem I see with all this is WHY LOKI GOT DRUNK?

I mean, the Loki of the myth would get drunk and lose control of himself, all right, but our Loki wouldn’t. When Tony Stark offered him a drink in “The Avengers” Loki didn’t accept it and then another and another and got plastered, nor he drank in Asgard in “Thor”, not even to drown his sorrow and even in “Thor: Ragnarok” when he watches the show he’s not drunk.

He has a cup of what I assume is mead, okay, but he’s not drunk.

So all of sudden he decided it was a moment to get drunk, because the story demanded him to sing a song to Sylvie, getting discovered, not fighting as well as he should and ending up out of the train to break the tempad.

This is a huge plot contrivance in an episode that’s filled with them.

So Loki and Sylvie get into a discussion on how Loki did it because he’s hedonistic with Sylvie saying me too but never at the expense of the mission, which was how Loki was before being in this series.

Loki shoots down Sylvie’s mission.

Loki: Oh, the mission? The mission? What, your glorious purpose? Give me a break. You can't beat them.

I wish they would just stop shooting around the words ‘glorious purpose’. A statement Loki said in “The Avengers” once is becoming the series verbal tick.

Even the sentence ‘the mission’ feels a bit weird because normally people don’t refer to their own goal as ‘a mission’. A mission is more often than not something that’s given to you by others but, so far, we were never told someone was moving Sylvie from behind the lines.

Whatever, Loki tells her she can’t beat the Time-Keepers because… no idea. Just because the Infinity Stones don’t work at the TVA it doesn’t necessarily mean they can’t be stabbed and die.

Sylvie has a nervous breakdown and screams releasing her power which, I guess, is meant to parallel what Loki did when Frigga died. Which was partially cut as we never saw Loki screaming.

Whatever, it just doesn’t have the same emotional intensity because in that scene Loki was broken by Frigga’s death while here Sylvie just seems angry.

Loki goes to sit next to her the way he used to do with Thor in “Thor” which again make me think that Sylvie, more than a Loki, is a Thor.

Anyway they have a chat about their future and the one of the planet in which it turns out Sylvie knew about the Ark and how it never left because it got destroyed. So really, there was no need to ask that old lady where everyone went when she knew they were all trying to reach it.

Loki suggests to hijack the ark and make sure it gets off this moon at which Sylvie agreed because… well, I guess she can’t come up with a better option, without even realizing this would mean create a Nexus event and get the TVA come running.

As they walk toward the way Loki complains:

Loki: You know, I don't think I've ever walked this much in my life.

Differently from many people in the net I can buy it, because in Asgard they were shown to use horses or Skifts to cover great distances and that one seems to be a great distance.

Sylvie equates not having to walk that much to having a pretty good life. News flash, people can have a miserable life even if they don’t have to walk long distances. People enslaved, for example, didn’t necessarily have to run from a side to the other of the world, but yeah, the whole is just to remark how Loki lived a princely life.

Scott, Peter, might not have had to walk but definitely didn’t live royalty lives.

Loki kind of jokes about letting Sylvie enchant him so that he could sleep through the way, and he’s told that’s not how enchantment work. So… he doesn’t know?

In episode 2 he could recognize what Sylvie did as enchantment, in Ep 3 first he believes enchantment won’t work on him, then he has no idea what it was…

Loki: So, where'd you learn to do the... You know, the... Whatever it is?

…then he doesn’t know how it work? What is it, Loki is starting to suffer of amnesia?

Whatever. Loki compains he told her much about him but doesn’t know anything about her. So, for an episode that wants to set up them as a couple what Loki wants to know about her are… her powers. And he needs to know them so that he could know if he can trust her. Because if she has enchanted him already it’s not going to make a difference and if she couldn’t like the previous scene in which she seemed to fail to do so… it doesn’t make a difference either.

Really, this is just for:

A) talk about how enchantment works

B) to reveal to the audience and Loki how the people in the TVA are all Variants of regular people on Earth (again, why doesn’t the TVA takes… Krees, for example) who ends up being brainwashed by the Time-Keepers.

So yeah, another hint that the TVA is a terrible organization. Too bad it’s inserted in a terrible dialogue.

On another note… why all of sudden Sylvie finds Loki worth being trusted with such an explanation? Because enchantment doesn’t work on him? If that’s the case she could have told him sooner.

Anyway Loki is impressed she could learn that by herself, to the point he seems to view it as superior as what he can do.

Loki: And you call me a magician.

I’m impressed as well but for different reasons. I mean, she said she taught herself. But how in the world is that possible? She should have seen someone doing it and she should have been told how to do it, otherwise you don’t go and assume if you touch someone you can control them, or that you’ve to check their memories and present a fantasy and besides… if she could check C-20 memories couldn’t she just take those information she wanted from there?

Also… does the TVA take people all from a present time? Because C-20 memories were clearly in a modern setting and Mobius’ fixation with jet ski might come from the fact he lived at the same time in which they existed.

Now… they’re kilometres away from the city but they can hear the announcer in the city saying there are only 10 minutes to the launch. I mean… how loudly they’re transmitting that info, who’s close would have turned deaf!?!

So they reach the city in 5 MINUTES because they run as fast as that and decide they trust each other because… reasons.

Sylvie: Do we trust each other?

Loki: We do and you can.

Loki shows empathy by commenting on how ‘They're gonna let these people die.’ Which really won’t work so well with how they’ll try to pass him for a narcissist in the next episode.

Loki and Sylvie try to run to the Ark as meteorites start to fall more.

In the general panic, with the city starting to crash down, some guards feel like stopping them for… reasons.

Loki stops a falling building with his magic but doesn’t use it to send all the guards flying away but when they were still too far to make it to the Ark the latter is hit and, of course, rendered unable to leave.

Okay, so I really had a hard time to write all this because this episode is bad plot wise and dialogue wise and when you look at it in deep it only gets worse.

Not only it has plenty of plot contrivances that cascade also on the previous episodes so that things that happened that we could assume were due to Sylvie’s plan revealed to be for no reason at all but, when you watch episode 4 you realize the whole episode is just an excuse to keep Loki and Sylvie together for long enough they supposedly start having feelings for each other (Had they closed them in a room it would have been the same!) while using poor dialogues and a characterization of both that’s honestly not so impressive for two characters that are supposed to be extremely smart.

Sylvie tends to act with force more than with brain, Loki tries to use his brain but it either don’t work or he dumbs himself down by getting drunk for no reason.

Overall, it had been a disappointing episode.

[noteofnaught]

Dante's memory of his mother

Fiddled with what I had written earlier.

The translation was done for me by deepl (translator).

Please let me know if you think it's strange or if there are any mistakes.

The above is purely a personal opinion

Feel free to discuss and exchange.

Dante's memory of his mother

Dante's memory of his mother, or rather that night, seems to have been formally depicted once in DMC5 since DMC1.

So let's start with the DMC1.

In the DMC1 novel, there is a scene depicting Dante recalling the events of his mother's death.

「母さん、母さん……ねぇ、母さん！」

幼子が、地に倒れ伏した母親の身体を揺さぶり続けている。母親の息がすでに絶えていることは、誰の目にも明らかだ。

だが幼子は──すでに自分でもそうとわかっているのだろうが──無

駄な努力を止める気配はない。

「兄さんもいなくなっちゃったんだ！ 母さん！ ねぇ、母さん！」

亡骸からは未だ、温かな血が地面へと広がり続けている。

幼子は半狂乱だった。

We can see in the description that Dante tries to wake his mother up next to her dead body, even though he realises that she is dead but he is still trying to wake her up. This is a reluctance to accept his mother's death, a normal emotion and attitude for a small child to have.

And the second half of his sentence [兄さんもいなくなっちゃったんだ!] It is as if he had searched for his brother, but his tone is one of powerlessness, of helplessness, of feeling negative about the outcome. So here I want to convey not so much that he has searched for his brother to no avail, but a sense of powerlessness about the situation. He tries to wake up his mother in this way.

It's close to one: Mom, wake up. My brother is not here/is gone and I don't know what to do/I'm scared, please get up Come on.

And then in the scene of Neal's death, Dante recalls this as Neal's sacrifice to protect him, just as his mother did that day.

After that he heard the voice of his father's sword, and out of fear and insecurity he was completely drawn to it, thus obeying its words and changing his name until he gained the power to fight against it.

Then, in the battle with Gilvi, when Gilvi stabbed Dante and was covered by the necklace, Dante's internal activity was as follows.

He credits his mother with protecting him (again) as a child.

Where the mother sacrifices herself to save/protect Dante this is consistent with the DMC1 in-game scene. In DMC1 Dante has a similar line after Trish sacrifices herself to save him. This is the diagram from Precious Tears, with Japanese and English, but both Japanese and English convey that Trish sacrificed herself to save him, as did her own (Dante's) mother.

This is in line with the content of the DMC3 comic.

In the DMC3 comic, Dante has a nightmare at the office after his encounter with Vergil, a dream that is not in fully recreated form but like a fragmentary form.

Here the mother has more dialogue than in DMC1, and it is obvious from the comic's footage that there are huge hands behind her that are about to crush her, and Dante reaches towards her as if to retain his mother, who is feeling very scared, while her mother shouts for him to hurry up and hide/hide and not come out no matter what happens. She is then crushed by the huge hand. In the next panel we can see that the demon looks like a bird and says the terrible words "all die". like it is glowing, and on the next page you can also see the huge three foot shadow on the ground, which also looks like the claws of a bird, and the door behind it is the image of burning, while a long shadow is drawn under his feet.

Of course, we know from the comic that Arkham says there was a fire that day, and Vergil's fearful recollection of the house being on fire makes DMC5 even more certain that it was indeed on fire. The glowing eyes, the long, thin shadows and the subsequent bloodstained house in the comic give the impression that something ominous, unsettling and alien is about to happen.

The cartoon after that also shows us Dante waking up with a jolt, his face covered in water, looking at his hand but with only a drop on his end finger, giving the illusion that he has pulled a hook with someone. There is no sweat on his body, however, and of course there are problems of expression in the painting, so it is not painted.

But it is also true that these same fragmentary memories and dreams give Dante unease and fear.

Well, the memory, the feeling of his mother in Dante's vision so far is the following: his mother told himself to hide and not come out, and sacrificed himself to save himself. It is the great selfless motherly love that belongs to Dante.

Although it was a great mother's love, the memory of that day still makes Dante feel uneasy and afraid. The last memory his mother leaves Dante with is the one that tells Dante to hide, and implicitly the will to let him live. If we add the DMC1 novel to the mix here, it is at this very moment that he is drawn to his father's sword.

Again within these memories and fragments, the mother is rendered unknowable to Vergil, meaning that we do not or cannot see in Dante's recollections that the mother ever went looking for Vergil, if not for the presence of the phrase [兄さんもいなくなっちゃったんだ!] we would not even know in this recollection of Dante that he knew that he had a brother. What we can see or what Dante perceives in his vision is that his mother loved him so much that she died in the process of protecting/saving him.

However, it is also a writing device that can be lifted off as suspense.

But again, this doesn't do any damage to the image of Eva as a great mother, because based on what happened that day, the great mother had to choose to save/protect (potentially the closest to her or that she could find) one child and had to give up the other in the face of force majeure. Dante also never said before DMC5 whether his mother loved Vergil or not, whether she ever sought him out or whether she cared for his brother as well.

What we see in Dante's vision is basically what Dante can know, but it doesn't mean all of it. After all, comics or game scenes have an obligation to show us the scenes, but it doesn't necessarily mean that the characters actually see all the textures. We, as players/readers, are a kind of God's eye and we can notice things that are not right or different (also a storytelling technique) but as protagonists we are not necessarily fully aware or in the same position as us.

I think if you have seen suspense films, you will also often see that kind of bridge, we all know that this bomb is going to explode this person to kill that person, although there is that kind of explicitly shown in the footage, but the protagonist is still unaware of the appearance, many viewers are in order to pinch a cold sweat, for this reason anxious hope that the protagonist quickly realize.

And DMC5 gives us a formal depiction of that day, not through snippets like a nightmare, you can see in the game's overstory description that it says Dante dreamed of what happened before, which means this time you are shown real memories.

After all, a nightmare is not necessarily a real memory, it is a condensation of a certain memory. Sometimes we have a nightmare like dreaming of a giant cockroach because we are afraid, so we reproduce and amplify this fear in our nightmares, so that a small cockroach we see in the house becomes enormous in our nightmares, the giant cockroach is not necessarily real but the fear is real. Of course, we are not talking about the formation of nightmares here, but only about the fact that nightmares and some fragments of our memories with fear and anxiety may be a recreation of what we felt and what existed at the time, but not necessarily a completely real recreation.

In the DMC5 Eva process screen.

There is a slight difference between Japanese subtitles and English subtitles, or even Japanese dubbing.

The overall meaning is actually similar to the DMC3 manga, Eva is all over Dante not moving and telling him to hide/hide, the only difference is that she says more words to make Dante forget his past and forget his name and start a new life from scratch/not being Dante but another person to start over. All also contain the mother's wish for him to live well.

The difference is that in the Japanese subtitles, Eva clearly expresses the possibility that she may not return and so tells Dante to listen well to what she says next, whereas in English it is expressed as I promise you will return.

In the English context, although the mother says she will come back, she immediately reverses the 'come back' in the next sentence, saying that she knows it will be difficult, but you're old enough so you'll have to do this if I don't come back. They both mean the same thing, a mother who knows she might not come back and tells her child what she will do if she doesn't come back, as if making a pact with her child: we agreed that if I don't come back, you will remember to do this, I know you can do it.

If you look closely at the animation of the process, you can even see Dante's hand trembling on the cupboard door, he is very scared.

And the BGM here also happens to be called: More Fear

And of course it is here that we first see Eva looking for Vergil, and it turns out that Eva has looked for Vergil! This doesn't exactly match the information we got on Dante's side earlier.

But are you saying that the DMC1 message contradicts the current message? The DMC1 novel only mentions that he cried next to his mother's body, not that she said anything to him before she died, after which he became obsessed with his father's sword out of fear and terror. And his father's sword statement is the same as his mother's deathbed statement but in a very different series.

The meaning of the mother's words is very clear, the words are all about the desire for her child to live well and to stay away from these things that will hurt him, a good expectation and blessing for her child and the expectation and belief that her child will be able to do so.

「今はその名を隠し、目を眩ませ、逃げ延びよ」

“Now go incognito, confuse the enemy and flee far away!”

The overall meaning of the phrase is that it is dangerous to hide the name, confuse the enemy and run away, and the phrase even takes the form of a command that the child must do what he says.

It's a phrase you'd put in the context of a superior to a subordinate, a captain to his teammates, and in the context of a tense battlefield man telling you to run fast is perfectly fine and appropriate. But Eva's words could only be said by a mother to her child.

When all the memories are linked together, our facts about Eva become a little more complete, and at the same time what effect does it have on Dante?

If his mother only died saving him and he hated his father for her revenge which is quite reasonable, this has to be a blowback from his father's enemies. What is necessary to mention here is what Dante's mindset was regarding DMC1 killing the Black Angel.

In the official publication of the 3124 collection, Dante is said to have killed the Black Angel with "no thought", a word synonymous with "remnant", which is generally translated into Chinese as: regret.

And the DMC1 how-to book has a direct description of his ideas.

Dante is talking here about Mundus killing his mother and brother.

This is not the same as what we generally think of as objective perception. In the game we see over the course of the game, the Black Angel looks as if he still has a heart, so naturally we think there is still salvation, after all, he is still alive.

But here Dante does not think that it was his own hand that killed the Black Angel, but that Mundus killed Vergil.

Of course we can parse this to mean that killing the man who was Vergil means, but even so within this passage of Dante he is not one of the reasons for Vergil's death, he has no responsibility in Vergil's death and is not responsible for any act occurring in the process, but rather Mundus should need to take full responsibility.

In other words, it means that even if it was he who killed the Black Angel in the course of the battle, then he is not responsible for it, but Mundus is responsible for it, because it was Mundus who arranged it, and how could he have killed it if he had not arranged it there, it was not his problem, it was Mundus' problem.

than what we generally think of as objective factual rational logic going into the judgement: although Mundus turned Vergil into a black angel like that, he himself didn't recognise the killing, more or less he was responsible for it or felt particularly guilty that he didn't recognise it.

Dante's logic leans more towards total emotional logic: It's all Mundus' fault!

And in DMC5 just as Vergil used to think it was a matter of not having enough power, now it's a matter of having too much power, and now that Mundus is gone, not recognizing Vergil (V) for killing Vergil can only be his active choice, not a passive one, and it can only be that his responsibility has nothing to do with Mundus.

Returning to the mother, what arises is in fact the same question. If before it was his mother's great love for him, which was selfless and exclusive to him, now, at this moment, her love is equal, not just his but also his brother's. The "he" whose mother sacrificed herself to save him in the flashback (DMC5) is not really a "he". His mother's did not hesitate to rush out to save her brother, knowing the danger.

Of course we must also mention nell, arguably the designer of Dante's double shot.

In the novel, Thor wants Neal to commission and pay a deposit for a double gun for himself, one of which is a secret-made gun he stole from a robbery, and the other is the same type of medieval gun that Neal himself received.

nell is so good to Tony, as is clearly described in the DMC1 novel, because Tony looks so much like her child, and her love for her child is projected onto Tony, and she holds on to her job before she eventually dies, not only because of her love for Tony but also her love for her own child, and more so for the work ethic she has taken on this job and should complete.

But all the same, the person she missed most on her deathbed was her own child, something Tony could never replace, nor could he if he wanted to, which of course didn't mean that nell's love for Tony was false, nell's love for Tony was also real, indeed it was love, it was precisely because of the person of her own child that nell loved so deeply that Tony was loved by her.

Whether it is nell or the mother Eva, their love for their child is not solely Dante's alone and only his, or why they love Dante/Tony, it is because they both love their child, and if they were not such, then Dante would naturally not be loved by them.

His mother's protection and sacrifice is something he feels and desires, something that is personal and emotional for him. It also explains Dante's statement to Trish in DMC1 that "his mother died to protect herself", because Trish, like his mother in his feelings and understanding, has what he calls a "heart".

Of course, because DMC1 is entirely Dante's vision of storytelling (DMC1 is Dante's story), his mother is human in Dante's eyes, and Trish acts like his mother to protect him, or even Dante's ideal mother, so Trish is also a person with a "heart", as to how Trish feels or if that is the case. We will not discuss this issue here.

Surely the mother did not save Dante? This is necessarily a negative, but was it to save him that his mother died, or to hold back the demon who tried to kill him so that he could escape? Again, that is a negative. Wouldn't his mother have done that in that situation? That too is a negative. Wouldn't Dante have wanted his mother? No. Must Dante have never been afraid of not wanting his mother to stay by his side to give him security and protection? Did Dante only want to protect his mother and never wanted her to stay by his side to protect him? All the information above seems to be in the negative.

DMC5 is simply a reinterpretation and addition of information from the past, the only thing overturned is Dante's belief that his mother died to save himself.

This message provides us with an explanation of the origin of Dante's hatred for his brother, as is often the case in many films and novels, in which he blames the child for the death of his beloved wife, even though it was not the child's fault, and believes that if it had not been for him, his wife would not have died. He stubbornly believes that his mother died to save him, not to save his brother, and not because of this he is unable to love his brother; he acts as if he wishes he could have the mother's love all to himself.

For if we are to acknowledge the fact that his mother died to save his brother, we also have to acknowledge something else, and that is that he equally did not want to be left/abandoned by his mother.

Of course, this is not a contradiction or a conflict; it is only natural that a child should be afraid and want to protect his mother, and it is equally natural that he should want to protect her.

The above is purely a personal opinion

[sazzafraz]

i’m probably truly never get back to crashing tide 

Taijutsu sucks. I want to die. Everything can eat my ass.

Moving from the Land of Song’s Sun Crane Style into the far more frenetic Moon-Walking Water one favoured by Lightning proved that I was a goddamn hack who should have kept up her yoga classes. Yes, the sharingan had made learning it easy but fuck if it wasn’t hard on the joints. The recall and fluidity of the motions was only as good as my personal understanding and flexibility. I was about 50-50 on both and positively dying. 

Not that the kid cared. “When can I learn those?”

“Thirteen.” I dropped low to stretch out my hip and then returned to practicing forcing chakra the opposite direction of my movements. It was sticky and sluggish but there was no way to get better other than to just keep going. “You can learn the lighter forms the hard way but until you start puberty the muscle mass necessary won’t be there.”

“I thought you didn’t fight.”

I did fight. Very close range or very long. I was a sitting duck otherwise. Dropping into a slightly messy Pigeon Pose I waved him forward. “You’re never going to have as much muscle mass as the Inuzuka or the Hyuuga. It may not seem like it but they build ‘em big. Just be glad you won’t have to fist fight a Senju.” Oh wait. He might have to fist fight a Senju. “And if you do, play dirty because they’re all muscle.”

“The Senju are dead.”

“The Senju have taken a long sabbatical from being decent contributing members of society. Follow me.” I stretched. Welcomed the sun. Threw in some warriors. Then went into the opening moves of Fire Over Air. In the manga learning the Great Fireball technique conveyed adulthood. In this splinter reality I learned that the Uchiha had spent six centuries or so developing specific fighting styles to fight every alignment. Mastering the opening sequences of those made you an adult. It made sense given what out bloodline could do and if it was complete it would go some way to explaining Itachi’s complete OP-ness. Fire Over Air I did every day because it forced me to use an element I was great at to control one I was abysmal with. 

Sasuke followed my physical position to a t. Legs in Warrior pose, hands switching between Bird and Tiger. The trick was to feel the moment where one nature became another and to force the power down smothering the emerging chakra. This was stop one of oh, about a thousand. 

I could feel the switch-dampen-switch happen between my hands. The tiny release of it was easy to control and not uncomfortable. Sasuke followed. I could almost feel his frustration with it. 

“Fire Over Air is one of the harder forms. We’ll try Fire Over Water in a second.”

“Fire Over what?”

“This form. It’s one of the Four Pillars of Suppression. Fire Over Air. Fire Over Water. Fire Over Earth. Fire Over Lightning. You start here with the basic release signs so you can learn how fire affects every release and over time you add steps. At the end you’re supposed to be like Uchiha Masaru, able to stop any technique with his will and a hand.” It also made using acquired jutsu easier. 

“Why are we standing like this.”

“Stand up straight and try again.”

He did. The second he went from Bird to Tiger a gust of air spun up and blasted his hands apart. “Why?”

“Grounding.” I changed my feet and dropped weight into them. “This position is used a lot in Earth and Air techniques -the really old school kind that’s more like dancing than brawling. The part of you that is Earth aligned automatically grounds the rest of you and disperses volatile energy.”

He frowned at his stinging hands. “I don’t have an Earth alignment.”

“Yeah you do.” I peacefully moved to Half Moon to do the fourth sequence of Fire Over Lightning. “Chakra exists as the physical manifestation of our spirit in space. It doesn’t follow logic very well. Hashirama, unhelpful genius that he sometimes was, invented a universal hand sign language that we use in Konoha. It gets rid of a lot of the hassle in remembering foot positions.” Move to Fire Over Earth in Crescent pose. “Before that there were variations in how each Clan and people performed any given jutsu. Our ancestors probably started this style to try and understand it.” Fire Over Water was a pain to transition to. All of it’s lower body movements were fierce and space consuming. I flowed down into one of it’s ending poses, a simple cross legged seat. 

“I don’t know any of this.”

He wouldn’t. “I got stationed with older kin a lot during the war. We traded secrets.” My mother taught me Fire over Lightning but it was the only one she ever learnt all the way through. I had the basic sets of all of them but like her I only learnt Fire Over Water all the way to the end.     

“So you’re going to teach me.”

“The basics. Most everyone only learnt the one.”

“I need to know all of them.”

I backtracked over the conversation, found the flaw and chastised myself. “It isn’t exactly like Great Uncle Masaru’s technique. For one he had Fuu Dog summons and god knows that scroll has been lost for awhile. It’s not a one shot.”

“Teach me.” He screwed up his little hand. “I need to know.”

Well. This is on me, then. “Fine. I can teach you the first five sequences of all of them and twenty four of Fire Over Lightning. I know all forty four of Fire Over Water but I will not show you more than the twenty ninth without the sharingan.”  

He blanched.

“Kid,” I said laughing. “We’ve had six hundred years to obsess. Cousin Sho needed about twenty days to let his thing for a Akimichi girl get all of us banned for life.”

A slash of white. A small grin. “That was funny.”

That was last year, I recalled. “Yeah. It was. If you’re betting on your brother knowing it, yeah, he probably does. It’s useful and we’re obsessive. If you think-”

“I just wanna know.” He replied in a much shyer, smaller voice.

I replayed the conversation again. 

“Okay.” Considering it through the prism of six hundred unbroken years of family. “Okay. But if I decide not to show you something it’s a medical decision. We’ve defanged a lot of these but they’re primarily analysis positions for fully trained shinobi with the sharingan. They’re combative, like you saw with the first move. You only work with higher levels of less stable energy as we go.”

Not that he’d ever know it but one of the main reasons, after the police and the eye stealing and the whole blood feud, that the Uchiha hated Tobirama was that he’d rendered large parts of the Pillar style obsolete by just mashing together new techniques faster than we could account for them. And then there was the Uzumaki clan throwing in some seals to just really fuck it all up. Certain strains of the sharingan -Madara’s, Itachi’s, Sasuke’s- had a hard on for sealing jutsu. Other’s -me, everyone else- got a horrible sense of vertigo if we tried to copy Uzumaki seals.

[malfoysdarkprincess]

Power of the Darkness ⇝ i.

Summary: Before the galactic domination of the First Order, we follow a young Y/N and Ben Solo through their creation as the new found Lord and Lady of the Galactic Empire under the reign of Supreme Leader Snoke. Both are Jedi’s gone dark, making you both extremely powerful and feared by every civilization in the galaxy. Will the first order come out on top or will the new found hero Rey and the resistance destroy and last remainder of the dark side? Pairing: Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader Word Count: 1.6k A/n: Hey guys! I’ve been working on this for a week now and i finally decided today that i would share it with you all and drop some peeks at the new fic. I’m also gonna make Y/N, Kylo, Rey, Finn etc. close in age, it will still all flow and make sense :) Anyway, enjoy and if you lie it Like and Re post so I know that this series is worth continuing <3

I don’t remember much of my parents. I was always told they sold me to Maz Kanata to help out in Takodana but I knew it was something more than that. Either way, I always resented them for leaving me there. As I got older, it became clear I was a force-sensitive and was increasingly getting stronger. Maz had sent me away to train with Master Luke Skywalker and several other children as well. That’s where I met him, Ben Solo.

“Benjamin, I swear to the stars, if you don’t get up right now to train- I will suffocate you with your own pillow,” Y/N had threatened the young boy with Raven Hair. She received a grunt in response from him which caused to frown. She picked up the pillow that was on the floor and nearly hit him in the head with it but, he caught her wrist and pinned her on the bed.

“You are easily, the most annoying person I know,” his groggy voice filled her ears. She sent a big, toothy grin his way. He dipped his head, their lips catching on one another’s. Y/N started to giggle, and Ben looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

“Morning Breath,” Y/N stuck her tongue out, eyes scrunched close. Ben grabbed the pillow that Y/N let go of and thumped her right in the face.

*

They were too in sync. They knew each other’s moves, even before they were to do them. Luke Skywalker had been watching them, he knew they were connected in ways more than one. He knew of their secret relationship; he knew the force connected them as one. It was a power that frightened him because he sensed the bubbling darkness in both his pupils.

“If I say anything, I might cause bigger problems than what we already have R2,” Luke quietly explained to the droid. R2D2 began to whir back and shake slightly. Luke sighed and continued to stare at his pupils, “You’re right, I need to talk to Leia.”

The two pupils continued to fight, oblivious to their master’s gaze. They stopped sparring and practiced moves together. Y/N could not get the sand twister which resulting in Ben nicking her arms every time. The pain was searing, but she knew the pain was a reminder that she was failing. Ben apologized every time he got her, and Y/N would just shake her head.

She finally got it after being burnt at least twenty times, her arm already began to swelter with blisters. “Maybe if you were better you wouldn’t have been burnt that many times,” Ben joked, stuffing his saber into this holder.

“Maybe if you weren’t such an asshole you could’ve missed my arm instead of getting it” Y/N retorted, kicking the dirt as she spoke. “I’m going to go to the infirmary, my arm kinda-”

“I’ll come with you Y/-”

“-It’s okay Ben, you go clean up, I’ll meet you at your hut after, I promise,” Y/N had smiled at him and whiskfully spun on her heel and headed toward the infirmary. She felt Ben stare at her up until the doors shut behind her in one of the temples. Her head suddenly began to hurt, as if something was prying her mind apart. That’s when she heard the voice.

Hello Child.

She froze, no one was in sight and it was a voice unfamiliar to her. Her confusion was amusing to the mysterious voice.

Oh child, I am no where in sight for you. I sense your strong power. Power that shouldn’t abide to such harsh laws that the Jedi Order enforces.

“Who are you? What do you want?” she whispered, her voice shaking as she spoke. The voice didn’t respond straight away but when it did, it sent shivers down her spine.

You will know soon enough. You’ll make the right decision.

She froze. Her breathing picked up the pace. Who the hell was that?

*

Ben laid in his hut shirtless as he cleaned his saber of dirt and grime. He was in a conflict, Supreme Leader Snoke of the first order has been enticing him of large promises within the first order. He promised great power to Ben, but he knew that would not suffice to lure him to the dark side. Snoke wanted Y/N too but he wouldn’t tell Ben why, all he would say is they both hold great power. Of course, Snoke seduced him with that thought that Ben and Y/N would be fine to openly love another if they joined the first order. Ben didn’t know what to do.

Thump. Ben jumped at the noise and heard a groan of pain. He went over to his hut door and opened it to reveal Y/N holding her head and her right arm covered in bandages. “Sorry love, my door was locked” he informed.

“Really? Didn’t realise,” Y/N grunted and pushed past him. Something was up with her and he could tell. She sat down on his bed and took in the site of the shirtless boy. He caught her staring and she only just winked back; heat creeped its way up to his cheeks. “My cuts are fine by the way. Nurse Meera just said I need to clean them, and they’ll heal fine. You only got me 12 times though,” She smiled. Ben notice her fingers fidgeting.

“What’s wrong? You’re fidgeting...” Ben trailed off, his eyes watching her every move. She went to open her mouth to say something, but they heard Master Luke announce outside the huts than supper was served. Y/N hopped off the bed and opened that door.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine Ben,” and she walked out heading toward the hall. Ben stood still then chose to catch up with her. “I really am fine. I think I’m just tired and hungry.” Ben hummed in acknowledgment. He knew something was up but he wouldn’t push it out of her. Dinner went by in a blur, Y/N and Ben kept to themselves and didn’t like most of the kids there as majority of them came form wealthy upbringings. Once dinner was done, nightly training would commence. Luke would pair the training jedi’s up to see their improvements and how the adapt to a different fighter each time.

Y/N was picked to fight against Yasmina and as they battled, the voice reappeared.

Yes. You possess a great technique which renders you merely impossible to beat. Yet, you fight like a Jedi. Fight how your blood wants to fight

Y/N shook her head and was almost sliced on the leg. Yasmina smirked and spun and went to slice, but Y/N smacked her saber that hard it flew out of Yasmina’s hand and into her own. Y/N than began to attack Yasmina has she was defenseless.

Yes, my child, destroy her. Complete the Blazing Supernova.

Y/N’s mind didn’t understand what the voice meant but her body did. She felt her body twist and the sabers began to swirl. She almost sliced Yasmina up, but Master Luke had jumped in and had turned off the sabers whilst using the force and pulled them out of her hands and straight into his own. Y/N blinked a few times, slowly realizing what she just did.

You have done well my child.

“What the hell were you thinking. That wasn’t how a Jedi fights you almost killed a fellow pupil doing that. What was that Y/N,” Master Luke had bellowed at her, but in his eyes wasn’t anger… it was fear? Y/N stood still and tried to speak but she couldn’t find the words. “You have lost you supper privileges for two days. You are restricted to your hut, now go!” he continued to bellow. All eyes were on her, all were stifling laughs at her embarrassment from Master Luke, but Ben stared at her in sorrow.

*

“Who are you… please just tell me who you are” Y/N whimpered her head was being split into two.

I am Supreme Leader Snoke of the First Order. You have proven yourself worthy girl.

Her eyebrows furrowed. The first order? What could they want from a nobody like me?

You aren’t a nobody. Close your eyes and I’ll let your Master Luke Skywalker show you.

*

Luke was there, talking to Leia through a holographic communication device. They were both worried and fearful. Y/N was confused she was right next to Luke, but no one noticed her.

Focus and Listen.

And that’s what Y/N did.

“Luke, I think you’re overthinking this. She might not have been thinking. She always trains with Ben and we both know they’re the best you’re training. Maybe she thought-”

“No Leia, we both know Snoke has seduced them. They both are losing sight of the light within the force and are spiralling towards the dark side.”

“Luke, they’re only teenagers. We can’t make assumptions on what they’ve done and who they are”

Y/N’s ears perked. Who they are? Her heart hammered in her chest as Luke began to speak.

“Leia, he has Skywalker blood. The same blood that flowed through you, me and our father. He is powerful and he knows it. So does Snoke.”

Y/N realised that the reason why Ben had begun to lock his door was the same reason as she nearly killed Yasmina. Snoke had been talking to him too.

Yes, my girl, Ben has already made up his mind. I will promise you both great power and the freedom to love one another. No time to be restricted to the Jedi Code.

Leia sighed, yet Luke continued, “And its clear as to why Snoke would now want Y/N”.

Y/N was confused. Then Luke said it and her blood ran cold.

“He would only want her because she’s a Palpatine.”

[sixpenceee]

Slices of Life

A real Salvia experience by u/SmokinTuna where he saw the “reality” of the universe. Edited by u/sagittariuscraig

The following happened to me seven years ago while I was a sophomore in college, and it was my first experience with any drug other than weed (great choice, right?). There are many things in this report that are downright stupid and reckless, ranging from lack of research to reckless dosing. As I said, this was seven years ago, and I have learned how to be responsible with drugs now. However, at the time of the report, I was a fool. In fact, this experience is the main reason why I'm extremely cautious and heavily research any drug I am interested in taking to this day.

I first heard about Salvia a year before this experience from a friend who lived down the hall from me in my dorm. He described it as a legal psychedelic (it's legal in Oregon and available in almost any smoke shop) that was super fun and a lot like weed (those who know how wrong this are probably rolling their eyes about now). I tried it a few times at parties in a social setting, usually in a circle of people (again, stupid, I know). I never experienced any effects other than slight spinning and loss of balance, mainly due to the fact that we didn't know how to smoke it properly (we used shitty small pipes), didn't hold in the hits long enough, and didn't really know what to look for.

Fast-forward, one year later: I was at the local smoke shop in my town, buying a new glass bong (my first "real" piece). Since I was out of weed, I decided to pick up a gram pack of 20x salvia as well, since I wanted to test this new masterpiece out, although I had not the slightest clue what 20x stood for at the time. Remember, at this point, I thought it was kind of like weed but made you dizzy/giggly for a few minutes.

I tried it a few times in the proceeding week but didn't experience any effects other than what I described above, likely due to my failure to hold in the hits and my poor bowl-lighting technique. I still thought this was "fun." Eventually, I had most of the pack of salvia emptied, with enough for one large bowl left. I decided the following day would be a fun time to try it out and got some rest.

I woke up early the next day and went on a bike ride with my friends, who for the sake of anonymity I'll refer to simply as S, T, and R. We got back, and after relaxing for a bit, I decided to finish off the bag of salvia once and for all (what a waste of money this was, I thought). With the exception of R, none of my friends were interested, so he and I stepped out into the garage, and I sat down on the stairs and get everything ready. Next to the stairs is an old wooden fence lined with saplings and one big tree. Behind it is my neighbor's field, which had a bunch of little kids in it, running around and screaming playfully.

I packed the bowl (a big bowl piece) to the brim with the remaining salvia 20x extract. My friend R was too scared to try it since he'd heard from others about its potential to create nightmarish effects ("Yeah, right," I thought), so he agreed to sit and watch me. Here goes nothing!

I leaned down and torched the bowl as hard as I could. The bong filled up with way more smoke than my old pipe ever could, and I torched about half the bowl in a single hit. Since this was the last of it, I decided to hold the hit as long as I could in order to maximize the effects (which is why it finally worked). After about 35 seconds, I exhaled and noticed I was feeling weird as fuck. So, like any sane 18-year-old who had no idea what they were doing, I torched the rest of the bowl in one gigantic hit and cleared the chamber, then held it as long as I could. After I exhaled for the second time, R asked me how I was feeling, or if it was bunk again. I tried to ask him how come he was talking so weird but all that came out was slurs. At this point my vision started "chopping," like everything around me was being rendered by a flip book. I finally managed to say, "Oh, shit, I'm gonna need a minute." R could tell something was up, so like a good friend, he went inside to watch TV while I proceeded to lose my mind.

The last thing I remember of this reality was R walking past me, back into the house. At that point, everything was just starting. As I said before, everything in my field of vision slowed down and was being chopped up. I moved my hand in front of my face and could see that it wasn't actually moving in front of my face, but that it was actually being drawn across my field of vision like an animation or a flip book. This is hard to describe. The best I can say is: imagine it as a flip book. With each frame, the hand moved a little bit more across my vision, but it wasn't actually "moving," it was being rendered. As soon as I realized this I understood that I was watching reality being created instant by instant, and it isn't a constant stream of conscious like we perceive. Weird, I know (imagine how I felt). As soon as this realization came upon me, I heard an incredibly high-pitched squeal and experienced the feeling of impending doom, like something of epic importance was happening. It was at this point that I completely forgot I had smoked salvia at all. Everything that happened after this was legitimately happening (or so I thought), and my reality was falling to pieces.

I closed my eyes, thinking this was too much to handle. As soon as I did, I was in another world. The prior two minutes of my life were laid out in front of me like snapshots, with each picture representing a single instant of time. The pictures were being flipped to demonstrate the effect I mentioned above (the flip book), and show how reality was being created. The pictures then split apart and I was shown what existed "behind" existence, what is actually happening behind the curtain of our day to day lives. At this point, I had no memory of my life at all.

As soon as the pictures split, I was sucked into the space between them, which I was told (by a disembodied female voice I could not place), that this was the place between moments. We perceive life as a continuous stream, but in actuality, reality is completely destroyed and re-created between each instant. In other words, each instant is a page of the flip book, and the previous page is destroyed and replaced with a new one. These "pages" were being flipped by an enormous wheel, which was the source of the noise I heard earlier. I could feel this wheel pressing up against me, threatening to destroy me and replace the current "me" with the "me" from the next moment. Naturally, I was horrified, and for some reason filled with déjà vu. I knew I’d been there before (which was weird, because this was the first time I "really" smoked salvia). I cannot stress how powerful and massive this wheel seemed. It was the source of reality as we knew it, responsible for creating the universe around us. And it was touching me.

The voice then told me that this wheel and this space is the only thing that "truly" exists. Reality as we know it is merely a side effect of the action of this wheel. My consciousness has existed in this space for all of eternity, being ground against this wheel, spinning with it and helping it create reality. I somehow "escaped" it years ago, which coincided with my physical birth, but now it somehow got me back where I belonged. I felt utterly hopeless. My entire life had been a temporary escape into a dream in order to cope with being merely a cog in the wheel (both literally and metaphorically), and now that that illusion was broken I was trapped here again, and the entire life I lived was merely a dream. All of my friends and family, as well as any experiences I remembered, never really happened, and were just a cheap trick I used to distract myself. This... was the real existence.

The feminine voice told me that everyone around me are her children, and our purpose was merely to spin with this wheel and create reality. I looked around, confused, and realized then that I was surrounded by trillions of other little people like me, all of them trapped and spinning in order to create reality. They all screamed at me, "Help us, help us spin. Stay with us. Now that you are here, you cannot leave. You cannot leave. You cannot leave. YOU CANNOT LEAVE. YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE. YOU ARE US AND WE ARE YOU. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY, AND IT ALWAYS WILL." These were her children, and I was her child as well. I had escaped, but now I was back.

Naturally, this scared the shit out of me.

I was in Hell. I was always in Hell, I just forgot.

I was trapped there for what felt like an eternity. Time had no meaning in that place; each second felt like countless years. Slowly, I began to forget my life on Earth (it was a "dream" as far as I was concerned, and it felt like I was forgetting it in the same way you forget a dream minutes after waking). I was dysphoric and terrified, and resigned myself to spinning for the rest of eternity. After what felt like thousands of years (who knows? In eternity, nothing means anything. 1% of infinity is still infinity), I remembered that I had somehow "escaped" into the dream world (normal, Earth reality) in the past, and maybe I could do it again. I didn’t think I could get back into my old life, but maybe I could escape, and as the woman told me, be "born" again. Anything, even starting over in another life, would be better than that hell.

I managed to turn my head to look at the wheel head-on, desperately trying to see how I escaped in the past. I managed to turn my head so that I was looking at the wheel from the side (the flat side, so that it resembled a spinning two-dimensional circle). The wheel was divided up into slices like a pizza, or the wheel on Wheel of Fortune (the pieces were broad at the top and narrowed closer to the center). Each slice was a different color, and the edges were incredibly jagged and multi-hued. There were an infinite amount of slices and the wheel was spinning infinitely fast. This made perfect sense in salvia-space. In the face of infinite time, after all, what is infinite space? Each slice whizzed by my face, so closely that I could feel them pulling my face and grinding it down to my bones with an effect that felt almost electric. This felt pleasant compared to having my body constantly torn to pieces for all eternity on the other side of the wheel.

As each slice rolled by, I stared intently at them. Slowly I began to realize what I was seeing (the slices were moving so quickly that it took a while). Each slice was a moment in time belonging to someone in the dream world (Earth reality), and maybe I could use them to escape!

As soon as I thought this, the female voice spoke to me again. She told me that escape was useless, and that even if I managed to escape into reality again, my return there was inevitable (either through death, or by being stupid enough to smoke salvia again). I began to desperately claw at the wheel, trying to squeeze myself into one of the slices, in the hope of inhabiting one of the bodies I saw represented. However, the wheel was spinning too fast, and when I touched it, it felt like electricity coursing through my body. Very painful.

I fought through the pain and clawed at the wheel more and more until, very briefly, the wheel appeared to stutter and slow down! Hope surged through me and I began to claw harder, which caused the electric grinding feeling to increase, but I didn’t care. I pulled and pulled until the wheel slowed down enough for me to look at each slice individually. As I pressed each slice I temporarily "became" the person in the moment the slice belonged to. I became an alcoholic old man sitting on a couch watching TV, wishing his children were still around. I became a young girl, talking on the phone with her friends. I became a father, screaming at his children, looking at his kids cowering in the corner of his kitchen. I became a junkie in an alleyway, waiting for someone to walk by so that I could rob them.

Each slice belonged to a person, and as I moved my hand up and down the slice I went through their life. The top of the slice (the broad part near the edge) was the beginning of that person's consciousness, and the tip in the center of the wheel was the end, their death. Moving left to right on the slice represented the different realities that person existed in based on the decisions they made. This is why the slice was broad at the top and thin at the bottom. At the beginning of one's life, they have an endless amount of paths to choose, and as they get older (and closer to death), there are fewer and fewer paths to take that can steer them away.

I realized that each one of these people had smoked salvia at some point in their life, which is what "opened their slice" to me being able to enter it. In salvia space, you have access to the infinite timelines of others who have smoked it.

For a brief second, I could see into the slice where I came from. I saw myself sitting on the stoop in my garage, sitting there with my head down and my eyes closed. Everything was distorted, though, as if I was viewing it through the window. I touched the slice and briefly became myself again. I opened my eyes and looked around, feeling incredible joy to be back here. I instantly felt my hands slip as the wheel sped back up, and I was torn back into salvia space, and away from my body. I desperately clawed at the wheel but it was moving too quickly. I would have to wait another eternity for the wheel to revolve again so that I could reach my slice. I debated trying to jump into another person's slice to get out of that hell, but I didn’t know if it would work, or if it did, if I would effectively kill that person and take over their body.

At that point, after experiencing so many other realities, I was having trouble remembering which one was mine. For those brief times, I fully believed myself to be the people in those moments. Who was I to say that the one I remember, of me on the porch in my garage, was really the reality I came from, or simply the one I touched last and remembered best? "Fuck it," I thought. "Anything is better than this."

I waited until the wheel came around again, and I could see my slice coming up. I clawed at the wheel again, once more experiencing the electric, bone drilling feeling, until it slowed down. I grabbed my slice at the edges and thrust myself headfirst into it as hard as I could, desperately trying to get back to where I had been. As soon as my head made it through the slice, everything exploded. My skin was peeled off of me into countless dimensions, and my body was torn and twisted into shreds. I fell into blackness. Surrounding me were pieces of the slice I tried to climb into. Each one was a porthole (like on a submarine) into reality, but at different times of "my" life. There was no order; the windows were scattered around me. I could see a moment from when I was in middle school, practicing the saxophone. I could see another of me sitting on a couch with my sister, arguing about something stupid. I saw several more that I did not recognize, with people I didn't know.

I assumed these were from my future (or from the future of whichever person was being displayed, at least). I didn’t even know if this was me anymore, or if this was just the slice I chose. I was afraid to touch these, as I didn’t know if it would cause me to experience the moment as the slices had done earlier. I also worried it might toss me in at that point of time (further forward or back in time from where I had been). Then I finally saw something that looked familiar: I was sitting in the garage, loading up the bowl, and R was talking to me. The perspective was weird, though, and it seemed like I was looking up at myself from thirty feet away, as if I was deep in the concrete floor.

I grabbed the window by the sides and again thrust myself forward as hard as I could. As soon as my feet made it through, I was back in my body (well, in someone's body, I don’t know if it was mine). At that point, I still had no memories. I was an empty shell, in an unfamiliar body, in an unfamiliar place. Slowly my recollection started to return to me. I remembered events from my childhood and my family. I remembered I was a college student. I came out to do something... what, though?

I looked around and saw the bong at my feet, and suddenly it all came back to me.

"I smoked salvia!" I cried out. "That’s what caused all of this?!"

I looked behind me and discovered I could still see the tear in space where I had pulled myself through. I heard children - her children - laughing and chanting. I looked at the trees around me and could see them frantically working and creating everything around me. The trees stretched out and were trying to push me into the hole I came from. I instantly got up and ran to the other side of the garage, away from the trees and the rip I'd created.

I turned around and looked through the door into the house. Everything was still distorted and spinning, and I could still hear the wheel's high-pitched shriek, emanating from some unknown space. Slowly the world became less choppy. I looked at the tear I had come through and saw millions of tiny children's hands reach through the other side, laughing hysterically the entire time, as if they found it hilarious that I had escaped. Did they know something I didn’t?

They pulled the rip closed, and it slowly melted back together as they chanted, “See you soon! See you soon!” As soon as the hole closed I could no longer hear the scream of the wheel. I heard the female's voice one last time, however. "Don’t worry," it said. "You’ll be back soon enough, my child. Enjoy your time."

To this day, this is still one of the most traumatic experiences I have ever gone through. Immediately after I came down, I ran into the house and locked my bedroom door. Everything felt incredibly fake. I was shown how everything was made and how empty and pointless it all is. I had trouble talking to my roommates for a while because I saw them as philosophical zombies, rather than as real people. From my newfound perspective, they were nothing but constructs, empty shells pretending to be people. Perhaps they even were part of the wheel. After all, I was the only person in this world. Everything else was created by the wheel.

The most significant issue I had after this was that for a while afterward, I was convinced that I wasn’t back in the "right" body. I was certain that my present body had existed normally until its former occupant decided to smoke salvia, at which point one of the wheel's children - my consciousness - hopped in while he was absent. I only have the memories I do because they are stored in this body. If I had grabbed onto another slice, I would have been thrown into that body (or shell) instead, and I would have slowly remembered all of "their" memories. In short, I hijacked this body, and its prior resident is now trapped in that nightmarish realm. I know this sounds insane (and I realize that now), but it felt so incredibly real that I still have my doubts every now and then.

Now, eight years later, I feel comfortable enough to talk about this experience. I have PTSD-like nightmares once every few months, where I find myself back in that hellish place, and I always wake up in a sweat and run across the room to get away before I realize where I am and that it was a dream.

I bought more salvia off of the internet (plain leaf and 5x, nothing stronger) in order to conquer my fear of the substance (cue laughter). I now smoke plain leaf rarely and 5x even less often, and achieve an altered state of mind, but nothing of the magnitude I experienced on 20x. I am working up the courage to try and go back there, so that I can see what really happened, but I know it will be a long time before I am comfortable enough to go that far.

I’ve grown comfortable in this body the past few years, and I can't help but wonder... what will happen if I can’t make it back?

[queenjunoking]

Wolf Taming Pt 33

CW: Noncon - Shock Collar - Pain - Petplay - Drugs - Kidnapping  - Manipulation - Abuse - Spiders

Z

Rayne’s home couldn’t be more stereotypical. It was a huge gothic eyesore. I knew that Rayne and Flora were one of the more powerful, and rich, couples in the region. I couldn’t imagine they used most of the space inside. It was a flex. Only by the Society’s influence could a place like this remain hidden.

It took a minute to finish the trip up their driveway and park by their front door. It took a lot to unsettle me. This house was one of the things that did. I knew all about the things that happened here. I was under no illusion about what I was to Rayne. She looked at new members that she saw as having some kind of potential and tried to push them. I was vaguely aware of some of the other people she attempted to take under her wing.

Mercy, an ironic name if I had ever heard one. I had seen her work, she worked mostly as a private breaker that just pushed her victims little by little until they broke. I had seen some videos, the childish glee she had as she told her victims they could “take just a little more” over and over. A few more inches. A few more hits. One more notch up on the shock collar. Of course if they could take that Mercy was sure they could take one more. She was to take the phrase “it’s too big” as a challenge. She wanted her victim to say something wasn’t possible.

Melinoë was one of the few people who climbed the ranks from the bottom. She broke people using their phobias. She kept rooms of snakes, spiders, rats and other common phobias and introduced them to people she had rendered immobile. I had seen one of her victims covered head to toe in webs from a swarm of spiders she let into the cell. The light in their eyes had died quickly. Unfortunately not everyone's phobias are so easy to manifest. She was more than happy to keep people in cycles of suffocation or waterboard those that had those fears. She had a technique for almost everything.

Her newest was some newly inducted girl. Apparently she was some serial killer that had killed dozens of low ranked members over the last year. Rayne’s intervention probably saved her a long torturous life at the bottom of one of the Society’s special prisons. I remember Eos making a fuss that the girl had left Rayne’s mansion gone underground a few weeks ago and no one had tracked her down yet. Eos had been on the council deciding the girls fate and had been very vocal about having her imprisoned for life.

I hated them all, none of them had the respect that I had for the people I worked on. I avoided being on that list of people taken under Rayne’s wing by virtue of Eos interacting with me as often as she did. She still left her mark on me though, something I was unable to get rid of, her epithet.

I composed myself as the doors to the limo opened. The driver bowed and helped the both of us out of the car. Once she shut the doors behind us the went up to the front door and rang the doorbell. She waited to the side, her head bowed lest she incur Rayne’s wrath when the door opened.

Rayne

Everything was going… well perfect was a lie. Things never went perfectly. But with a minimum amount of punishments. I only had three other maids taken away while I waited for Z’s arrival. They’d make passable canvases.

I was growing irritated as the minutes slowly passed by. She was supposed to be here at four. It was now ten after four. Good driver’s were hard to come by, but I’d have to find a new one regardless. Perhaps she would make a good lawn ornament. If she wanted to go slow on the roads she may as well be stationary. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about winter for quite awhile.

Finally the doorbell rang, followed by some scattered screams throughout the mansion. The doorbell was wired to some random slaves. It gave them quite the nasty shock when it was pressed, it made sure we would always hear it ring. Our guests were here. Only fifteen minutes late. The two slaves I had left stationed by the front door saw me walk towards them and slowly opened the door.

The sight was… as to be expected. Z was dressed in what I was sure was the most expensive thing she owned. I was a bit upset to see Briar there. I hadn’t given Z a plus one. I’d have to figure out something for her to do, she was just going to make all my plans harder. I wanted Z, alone, without anyone to consult. Having Briar to talk to just made my goal harder.

"Good afternoon Z. I'm glad you could make it to this celebration." I gave her a smile. I tried to play the good host.

"Unfortunately, due to the last minute invitation, I was unable to bring Lady Flora a gift." She looked bored and it pissed me off. Its like she didn't care she didn't bring my darling Flora anything.

"That's alright Z, you're the gift. I'm sure Flora will enjoy meeting you. Follow me." We made our way through the mansion, heading towards the art room I knew my lovely lilac was busy in.

Maids stop and curtsied as we passed by. Flora and I would really have to converge on a design for them. She was in the midst of designing new outfits for them and had them wearing different prototypes. Some were clad in latex, others were dressed in what could only be generously called an outfit. Still others were in floor length outfits that only left their hands and faces uncovered. Different styles from English to French to Japanese. I didn't care much about which style she ultimately chose, I just wanted them to match.

We passed by many of Flora's projects on out walk. All stunningly beautiful. All works of genius. Yet Z looked bored and Briar looked away.

It pissed me off.

I stopped at the top of a staircase in front of a special wall Flora had installed. The renovations had cost a fortune but nothing was too expensive for my beloved buttercup.

"Perhaps you recognize this one, Z?"

Z

The walk through the mansion was what I expected. Battered maids, tortured slaves, and all kinds of horrible art created by Flora.

I looked up at the newest exhibit. It was a resin block that was placed into the wall. There was a woman inside, immobile. Naked and on display. It took a bit for me to see the tubes connected to her inside. Most likely to give her air, water and Ambrosia to keep her alive. She stared out blankly at the room, I doubt she was mentally there anymore.

"I'm afraid I don't." I didn't really care about whatever Rayne was trying to show me. I respected the situation in a certain way. I'm sure the inability to move with no space to take anything more than shallow breaths would break anyone fairly quickly.

It was the same principle I took with Bridget.

"Flora was devastated when you closed up shop. She bought up many of those you broke for her own projects. They're quite magnificent for many purposes. Sometimes its fun to listen to them scream while you work, but you created slaves that simply don't react anymore." She smiled at me as she talked. I hated every word coming out of her mouth. I did this to stop their suffering, not make it worse.

"And the significance of this piece?" I tried pushing the annoyance out of my voice.

"This was the last person you broke. She was sold as a sex slave and was used like that for awhile. But Flora wanted to preserve your last piece. It's been injected with a concoction that should help preserve its beauty. The side effects are quite painful and debilitating, but its encased in resin so it doesn't matter if its debilitating. We believe she'll live another decade in the-"

"I believe you wanted us to meet with Lady Flora?" Briar cut Rayne off. I wasn't sure if it was for my benefit or hers, but I'm glad she did.

Rayne’s fave slipped for just a moment. From a warm and welcoming one to one of sheer annoyance. It only took a moment for her to slip back though. "Yes, we're almost there." She turned and began walking down the hall. I had long lost track of where we were. The house seemed alive with activity no matter where we went. Slaves where everywhere, I couldn't begin to fathom how many she must have.

Rayne opened a door and we could hear someone inside talking. She motioned for us to wait as she slipped inside.

Rayne

"If I heard one more sob out of you I'll give you something to actually be sad about." I heard my gorgeous gardenia tell her canvas as she worked.

Flora's back was to me so I could see her canvas facing me. It was some small thing. It had short black hair, surprising as Flora preferred to claim slaves with long hair.

The canvas was covered in tattoos, new ones. Surprising designs. Flora loved to cover a few maids in tattoos, having some walking art around the mansions. Usually she didn't design tattoos so demonic though.

"What are you working on?" I asked her, giving her a bit of a start as I broke her concentration.

"Oh, raindrop. How many times do I have to tell you not to startle me when I'm working on a piece! I could have gotten a line out of place." She chided me playfully. If she had messed up she'd probably just dispose of it and get a new canvas, it was no big deal.

"My apologies, my sweet… saguaro." I stumbled, my mind was in other places.

She crossed her arms and puffed out her cheeks, looking a bit cross. "A cactus?"

I walked over to her and tip her head up, giving her a kiss. "I apologize, I was taken in by your art."

She smiled, her pout already forgotten. "This canvas was some poor church girl that was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I bought her with the intent of reselling her to The Pandemonium Club."

"Don't they give full body recoloring to all their imps? Won't that cover up your lovely art?" Servers at the club were modified to resemble imps. Horn mods were what their servers were known for. The size of their horns indicated their purpose. But they also underwent full body recoloring. Many were purple, blue, red or pink.

"Not at all. That guttersnipe that you brought in gave me one nice thing, a chemical added to this ink will make it glow under the body repainting. So she'll be purple with nice gold tattoos showing." She gave me a toothy grin.

I gave her another kiss. Longer. More passion. "You know I don't like you talking about her like that, she'll be giving us tons of fun to watch. But I'm glad she's helped you."

"Whatever you say. So, may I ask why you've come in? Just wanted to see my art?" Flora was beginning to catch on.

"Your birthday present finally arrived, Love." I smiled, knowing this would make her day.

"Oh?" She feigned an innocent look. "I had completely forgot. What did you get me?"

"I didn't find you a something to give you this year unfortunately." Her look turned sour and she stuck out her bottom lip. "But, I brought in someone you might enjoy meeting."

Nothing happened for a few seconds. I figured that had been an obvious enough of a clue.

"I brought in someone you might enjoy meeting!" I called a bit louder. This time Z and Briar entered the room.

"Z!" Her face lit up and she practically glided over the floor to her. She ignored Briar much as I had. "Its so lovely to have you visit. I am such a fan of your methods. Perhaps we can talk over dinner." I watched her look Z up and down. "And let's get you some nice clothes. Consider it my treat."

Z didn't get a moment to say anything before Flora pulled her out of the room. My present had gone over well so far. If things went my way I'd get rid of Z and make this the best birthday Flora's ever had.

[jorjathomas]

Process of rendering physical work

This post involves some screengrabs of the process of samples I have currently made. 

As you can see above, I have began to edit the original image of the paint. Threshold has been used to segment the image into sections. As I wanted the image to be binary, I did this process twice but at different levels. On the left I set the threshold level to 122 however the other image I placed it at 124. This brings out different shaded areas. Before I began the duotone process I had to flatten the image using grayscale so I am able to see the threshold better.

I then used duotone with the two layers I had made with the threshold and set them to the original colours of the picture I took. This was because I wanted to see the difference between the two. Above are the results. This was the most enjoyable process by far as the fact that the paint gave a marble effect so I was able to create to outcomes with the duotone and threshold combination.

This was a screenshot of the art which I had created on the opposite side of the print sample. This was a font which I had downloaded of adobe fonts as I wanted to find the best block like text. This enabled me to liquify it better using the smudge and expand tool. I had done this process already however I loved this outcome more as I began to become more familiar with the technique and the result I wanted.

Here is another outcome of the process above. Again, I went through the combined techniques twice to get different colours within the duotone image. My final outcome is pink and orange however this was originally created with different shaded of pink because I thought it would be beneficial to use in my zine.

Moving away from the digital comparison samples, I began to look at my aesthetic post where I looked at artists work which had inspired me. I had yet to make many physical samples so I began to look through magazines for any imagery I liked and could cut out. I knew I wanted to make some ‘abnormal’ collages. This means combining multiple objects which aren't normally combined to create this new sense of reality. I wanted this kind of escapism in my work ,with the help of landscapes, to portray the abnormality of stressing over tiny problems. I want the readers to remind themselves of who they are and where they are which I hope eases their worries because its easy to get lost in your own world without acknowledging your the world your living in with others.

 Above was the process of working into the collage once I had scanned it in. I removed its white background, which is formed after scanning, using ‘colour range’ then, I used one of my mixed media art pieces to create its background. I made this using acrylic paint and my fingers. I would normally use a brush to be precise but I didn't want this outcome. I then began to adjust the image using the ‘saturation tool’ to make it appear brighter almost like the collage was spiralling into the page. My previous samples have been looking flat against the backgrounds which is why I created another layer of the background and erased certain areas of the brushstrokes. I then layered this on top of the collage to make the two blend together. I liked this outcome because not only does the collage reflect the common saying ‘ It’s raining cats and dogs outside’, but the outcome doesn't look flat against the page. Keeping the binding of the book I painted on helped bring in the personal elements of the samples aswell. Overall I hope the sample has reflected the meaning behind the saying in visual form to highlight the silliness of life's problems sometimes. This sample is humorous and uplifts me so I am interested in including this style in my work to create the same emotion for the readers.

This was the process of another collage sample. This time I wanted to add more personal imagery alongside the magazine cutouts to help portray my story. At first, this collage only had the road in the centre of the pencils, and I was going to edit out the man walking along it as I didn't need it however not only was this difficult to do, but I thought the sample looks empty so it was harmless to leave him in. Luckily, I didn't throw away my cut outs so I found the head of the model to attach back to the body. This didn't look right either. I tried to create a new layer with the man selected and adjusted the image to make it look smooth however this didn't work very well. I think this was because of the angle I scanned in the second cut out. The first collage was scanned in on my printer at home however the second was scanned in through my phone instead. Nevertheless, I worked around this dilemma by adding loads of flowers on the models head. This helps the abnormality become present in the centre of the sample. I also believe this helps portray my message of growth. For example, the pencils in the back symbolises a playground and all aspects of what the noun is associated with which is why I am playing on it as a child with my mom (image on the near left). The road coming out the the pencil mountain portrays the aging of life and abandonment of childhood as you have to grow up. The man in the centre also helps this interpretation with him walking on the road with flower blossoms on his head symbolising the growth of the mind and soul within a person. Aka character development. This is also one of my favourite samples as it holds its message well and feels more personal with my childhood images. It has helped me understand the exact message I want to give to my audience visually.

This final screengrab is of the process of the poster sample I had made digitally. Although the collage was made digitally, the background wasn't. The image above is actually a picture of one of the screen prints I made using a stripped generic screen. Originally, it was purple but as you can see above, I changed it’s saturation and hue to create new colours. I loved this outcome because you can see the different textures of the screen print especially since its on paper. When screen printing, the paper obviously got wet so it caused the paper to crimple which is why there are different tons in this adjusted image. This process was before I liquified it and I think I were to do it again, I might have left it like the image before to make the outcome look more authentic.(scrapbook/journal)