#treasure planet? hold up-- that might be a good one

[nerditudes]

STOBOTNIK Sherlock Holmes AU-- villains posing as a detective and his roommate. They solve a lot of crime-- but never the ones they commit. Together they frame anyone who grows wise to what they're really doing. Dr Robotnik and Sherlock Stone are quite the duo.

SHERLOCK STONES is a reserved genius. He and his good Doctor, Ivo Robotnik are rommates. Stone has one of the sharpest minds in all of the world. Though there are some who see him as more foe than friend. Stones enjoys playing the violin and the sound of silence.

DOCTOR IVO ROBOTNIK is the talkative, stubborn scientist. He's brilliant but a bit mad, they say. Stones' relaxed demeanor contrasts with the far more abrasive Doctor. He chronicles their adventures and peddles it to the masses as 'official' and 'firsthand' accounts of just how brilliant Sherlock Stones is. He finds the public too easy to manipulate.

IN REALITY they are a criminal duo. Robbing rare artifacts with unique properties-- possibly linked to aliens/higher technology. Some of which involves rings that can send folk to and fro. It seems Earth is considered a bit of a backwater planet to more advanced races. So despite having spacefaring technology

EGGMAN is the mastermind, the foe of Sherlock Stones. Dramatic and determined to see Stones fall-- he poses the greatest threat to the world. He's really only whispered about in criminal circles. More myth than man. His tech is cutting edge. He's got a flair for the dramatic and genius inventions and perfect plans to get what he needs.

AGENT MOBIAN is his personal barista and bodyguard. keeping him safe from the common rabble. Mobian [Agent Stone] helps as a sounding board/punching bag for Eggman-- but it's just what they do in the movies anyway. They find an alien specimen in stasis and decide to try and figure out how to wake him up.

EGGMAN STEALS a series of artifacts and strange items, seemingly unrelated. Can anyone stop him? Stones seems to have gone cold lately-- withdrawing from the public eye as word of his flatmate getting married carries around.

OPTIONAL ADDITIONS/OTHER CHARACTER INTERACTIONS: IN THIS AU

SHADOW is eventually woken up and the two take him in as their successor with their civilian [heroic] identities. Framing him as an up and coming detective found by the two while trying to hunt down the Eggman.

[Feels] Shadow serves as the assistant/protegee of Sherlock Stones and Dr Robotnik. He bonds with Stones over a love of music. Stones plays his violin every night. He seems to warm up entirely and Shadow gets to see the side of him reserved for those moments with Ivo.

[Wholesome] Shadow sees how the two interact. He knows he's their protegee but he finds it odd the two can't see what's right in front of them. He joins Team Sonic in their matchmaking-- perhaps finding his own along the way [cue romcom energy].

[Canon] What'll be canon to the fic-- Shadow knows Robotnik is Eggman and it's all an act. Robotnik sees Shadow as a great tool in orchestrating the greatest finale anyone's ever seen. He has all he needs to complete his plans as Eggman and plans a dramatic send off for Sherlock Stones. The Reichenbach Fall.

SONIC, KNUCKLES, TAILS, OR AMY as the aspiring detectives. Ending up becoming heroes and helping to thwart/fight Eggman. They look up to Sherlock Stones and Doctor Robotnik [for now].

[Feels] They keep getting close to who Eggman might be [he's always running away before he can be caught, leaving some mechanical monstrosity in his wake]. Thankfully these kids are harder to be rid of than your standard shonen protagonist. They keep getting close until one day they witness the fall of Stones-- at the hands of one of Eggman's machines. Shadow gets added to the party, hungry for revenge.

[Wholesome] They see Stones and Dr Robotnik and go 'that's not just roommates' and try to play matchmaker with the two. Comedy can ensue as they keep nearly uncovering who Eggman is for various reasons.

[Canon] What'll end up being canon to the fic-- the trio/foursome come together and make their own detective agency. They seem to be on the trail of Eggman better than even Stones himself! Well-- they say he hasn't been the same since Robotnik ran off to inherit his grandfather's estate. All he does his brood in his flat and play the violin.

[sanguineterrain]

Kurt wagner and tail stuff!!! I love that boy! I love how you write! I love the tail! Smashing them together we got a a little piece of heaven! So Kurt wagner with s/o and some tail action pretty please!!

(Like if you need some more then that: for example, the times before they were together Kurt’s tail always seemed to gravitate towards reader (I’m an advocate that Kurt’s tail is like a fricking mood ring) wrapping around them, touching them. The times when they were together! And the time reader wraps their hand or something around his tail or something)

Love your writing! You’re awesome and amazing! And I want to say in advance, thank you so so much for doing this ask! I will treasure it dearly! And if you don’t do the ask then thank you so so much to taking the time to read it! Have a lovely day!

ouuu this is a sweet request <3 tail boy! thanks nonnie :) hopefully I did him justice 🫶 changed the request a bit but kept the same idea about the tail. may write a part 2... we'll see!

kurt wagner (nightcrawler) x gn!reader. fluff, cooking, gambit and rogue trying to talk some sense into the reader.

note: I tried to capture kurt and gambit's accents. however, as always, I'm open to feedback on them. It's definitely not my intention to offend or miswrite anyone!

****

The smell of bubbling cheese wafts from your pot as you stir. It's been a while since you were able to cook for yourself and have a nice meal, always running out to do something or another for the good of the planet.

"Smells good," comes a familiar voice. A moment later, a tail curls around your wrist as you shake some paprika into the pot.

You look away from your stirring into golden, irisless eyes. Kurt grins at you.

"Mac 'n cheese," you say by way of greeting. "Want some?"

"Please und thank you."

Anytime you cook, you offer Kurt to share. You frequently have the thought that you spoil the hell out of him, but you can't help it.

He helps you out by putting away the milk and cheese. But he's never far; his tail remains on you. It slackens from your wrist, then explores up your arm and around your elbow.

It's nothing new, of course. The first thing you learned about Kurt Wagner is how physically affectionate he is.

"That tail seems to have a mind of its own, elfie," you say, smiling down at the pot.

"What do you mean?"

"It's always holding onto me." You turn off the burner.

"Ah." Kurt drops his tail. "My apologies. I can ease up, as you say."

You shake your head. "Don't. I don't mind. Never have."

So Kurt gives you one final tail squeeze. The fur on his arm tickles you as he brushes past. You watch him in confusion.

"Where are you going?" you ask, halfway through scooping two servings of the pasta.

"Not far," he says brightly. "Jean wanted me to bring spoons from the kitchen." He holds up three metal spoons with his tail.

"Spoons?"

He shrugs. "An experiment. Who am I to question a scientist's whim? I promise I will be fast."

He teleports away, and you have a mind to cover Kurt's bowl with a plate. You bring both bowls to the table. At last, a proper meal.

You don't mind eating alone, but that hardly ever happens with Kurt around. Even if he's just eaten, he'll nibble on whatever you've made. You don't know where he puts all that food—perhaps in another dimension—but he makes it a point to eat with you, regardless of whether you've cooked or not. Even if you're in the middle of the forest eating a tin of beans, Kurt will plant himself right next to you and keep you company.

He's a good friend. The best friend you've ever had, actually.

"Woo, smells good!"

Gambit comes in first, followed by Rogue, since the two are never seen apart anymore. Gambit, nosy that he is, makes a beeline to Kurt's covered bowl.

"And what's in here?" he asks, lifting the plate.

"That's Kurt's," you say. "You can get some from the pot."

"Mais, it's Kurt's, huh?" He glances at Rogue, who grins. "Hear that, chère? Not sure if I should take from the pot. Might take my head, too."

You squint as they share laughter. "What're you talking about?"

"Oh, nothin'," Rogue says sweetly, taking the seat diagonal to you. Gambit sits next to her.

Your frown deepens. "I didn't say you couldn't have some, G, I just—"

Gambit shakes his head. "Don't go worryin' 'bout that. I'm just teasin'. I think it's cute how you feed the furball."

"Excuse me, I feed myself first," you say, and shovel a forkful of pasta into your mouth.

You hate not being in the know. It happens frequently, being that you're not a mutant. You're here on a personal invitation from Charles due to your "technology skills."

Really, you'd been brought here to fix Cerebro. And after that, you'd sort of just... stayed at the school. Charles had offered you a room, Kurt had won your friendship (or, perhaps, you'd won his), and you'd never left.

"Well, what do you mean, anyway? So what if I feed Kurt," you say, unable to stand not knowing.

"Just seems like where you are, Kurt's never far," Rogue says, watching you eat.

"Yeah, so? He's my friend."

"Oh, un ami. Is that what we're callin' it?" Gambit asks, eyes gleaming with mirth.

"What else would you call it?"

They look at each other in that Siamese cats way. Often, you've had the thought that they can read each other's minds—no powers needed.

"You really don't know?" Rogue asks, voice softening.

"Know what?" you ask impatiently.

Gambit makes a quiet noise in his throat. "Y'all don't know. He's gone on you."

Your brows rise. "Kurt? Don't be silly, Remy."

"Oh, great. You're both in denial," Rogue says, rolling her eyes. "Haven't you noticed how touchy he is around ya? Always huggin' and clingin'."

"Kurt's like that with everybody," you say. "He's like that with Logan!"

"Mais, the tail, it never lies," Gambit says with all the wisdom of someone centuries older. "He don't go wrappin' that tail 'round anybody."

Rogue nods sagely. "True. And he's always puttin' that tail around you."

"But he's..." You put your fork down in frustration. "That's ridiculous. Kurt would've said—I mean, there would've been a sign. He would've told me. Kurt doesn't hide anything from me."

"This is new for him, honey," Rogue says. "He's never been in love for real. He's not gonna act rationally."

"Alors, look at it this way. La Raison parle, mais l'Amour chante. Hm? His body betray his words. It sings to you. Jus' like I sing to ma cherie."

He reaches to take Rogue's hand, eyes practically heart-shaped. Rogue lets him, smiling in that secret, shy way of hers whenever Gambit is sweet on her.

L'Amour...

"Kurt is not in love with me," you say. "End of story."

They both heave sighs.

"Just watch his tail," Rogue says. "Kurt can hide a lot, but he can't control how he—"

BAMF!

You flinch as Kurt teleports into the kitchen. He grins and waves, then bounces around the table to greet the others.

"I'm back!" he says. "I hope my mac did not get cold. Will you be eating with us?"

"No, that's okay," Rogue says, looking at you meaningfully behind Kurt's back. "Rain check. We've gotta go train."

Gambit winks at you. "See y'all."

They disappear quickly. Kurt turns to you, blissfully unaware of your newly formed nerves.

"I am sorry I was gone for so long," Kurt says, sitting down to his bowl. "Jean had some questions about my abilities. Apparently, she's trying to replicate them in a machine."

"That's okay," you say. "Rogue and G kept me company."

Kurt beams. "They are so good for that, yes?"

He shovels a mouthful of mac 'n cheese into his mouth and groans in appreciation. His tail instantly curls around your wrist.

"Amazing!" Kurt says. "Perhaps your special ability is your cooking, hm? I would believe it."

You laugh. "Danke, elfie."

"Bitte schön," he says, eyes lighting up at your German. He frequently informs everyone about how good your German is becoming, even though you hardly know ten phrases.

His tail begins to stroke your arm. You wonder if he's aware of it. If he knows how his tail betrays him.

But no, that's outrageous. And even if it was true, it's not like the feeling's mutual, right?

"Oh, and," Kurt says. "I got us tickets to that show you wanted to see. They're playing it at the theater downtown. We can go on Saturday, ja?"

"You... oh. Wow. I told you about that ages ago, Kurt. You remembered?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he says, tilting his head. Like it hadn't occurred to him to be anything less than thoughtful.

"No, I'm just—thank you. That's really nice of you."

Kurt beams. "I am excited to watch the green witch und her pink friend sing!"

He keeps eating, unaware of the way he's made your world tip on its axis. Because now you know.

You're in love with Kurt Wagner. And the feeling just might be mutual.

[talaok]

Needy

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

Summary: Joel needs his fix of you, and he doesn't care if it makes you late.

Warnings: smut| oral sex (f receiving) and coming untouched. Joel is a little more sub in this one and he's obsessed with eating you out.

a/n: guys, i have a confession to make, i do not know what this is, i wrote it tonight and boy i'm so tired that i'm honestly not really sure about what i typed, but i was in the mood and i like this thing of Joel tuesdays im doing so... hope you'll enjoy.

"you look gorgeous, baby"

It didn't take a genius.

The way he wrapped his arms around you, pressing his body to yours, the way he whispered in your ear, the way he didn't break eye contact, looking at you from the mirror as he kissed your neck...

Joel Miller might have been a hard man to understand many times, but not when it was about sex.

"Joel" you stopped him immediately, neglecting the shimmers of pleasure he had ignited inside of you from such a small gesture "We don't have time"

If he heard you, he didn't show it.

His kisses only grew hotter and lower down your neck.

"Baby I'm serious" you breathed, feeling one of his hands travel down your sides "We're gonna be late"

Even with a bad ear, he should have definitely heard that, but his only response was a low groan and an attempt to hike up your dress.

"Baby-"

"just a peek" he murmured, sending a shiver up your spine "Just wanna look at her"

Even if your natural response was to roll your eyes, hearing him so desperate was doing things to you.

"please" he breathed "I'll be quick"

And after a moment of silence, as you considered what he'd just said, you finally huffed out a "fine"

It's just one peek after all, what could go wrong?

He had turned you around and was on his knees before you had time to blink, and your dress was pulled up to your belly before you could take a breath.

You watched him as he held your waist like you were a long-lost treasure he'd just found, and as his eyes trained on your clothed core with so much hunger and lust to turn them completely black.

And then slowly, oh so slowly, his right hand came to help, removing that torturous piece of fabric obstructing his view of (as he referred to it) "the most perfect pussy on the planet" 

"fuck" he groaned, his pupils dilatating so much they were one with his iris.

You let out a small chuckle at his amazement

"There, you saw it, can we go no-" you tried to speak, but were quickly interrupted

"just a kiss" 

He didn't even sound like himself, but like he was in a trance.

"just one" he breathed, leaning closer

You sighed, before agreeing 

"one"

And he didn't even answer you, he just went straight to it, groaning loudly as he kissed you right on your clit.

"Joel..." your hand found his hair, as a shock of pleasure coursed through you.

"just another one" he murmured, not giving you time to protest before his lips were on your core again, this time forcing a whimper out of your mouth.

"baby-"

But another groan of his interrupted your train of thought

"fuck you taste so fucking good" his eyes glanced up at you "I could eat you for every meal"

"Joel we're gonna be la-"

"let me taste you a little better" he growled, "just a bit, ok?"

But again, before you had time to give him a half-hearted excuse, he'd dived in, taking your pussy in his mouth like it was his lifelong duty.

His tongue was now swirling over your bud, your hole, and along your slit, making you forget all about your plans and the people waiting for you at the restaurant.

"shit baby" you moaned "f-fuck"

His hold on your waist got tighter, and soon, you realized his definition of "a bit" was much different from yours, as he didn't look like he had any intention of stopping, and to be honest, you were more than happy about it.

His nose was rubbing against your mound, you could feel his mustache tickling your skin and the way his tongue was tasting and savoring all of you was making you ascend to another universe, one where you didn't fall for Joel Miller's stupid tricks every time for example.

"J-Joel" 

And usually, he was very talkative during sex, for being such a man of a few words he really loved to talk when he was inside of you, but not when his mouth was busy, never, when his mouth was busy.

Eating your pussy for him was like a drug, I’m not kidding, you'd never met any other man who loved giving head like Joel did, most mornings than not you'd wake with him between your legs and go to sleep the same way, and when he didn't get his fix... well, you ended up arriving late at the restaurant.

"oh my god" you moaned, gripping his locks with more strength as his lips closed on your clit, sucking it deliciously "Joel fuck I-"

And that's the other thing, not only was Joel obsessed with going down on you, he was also amazing at it. Sometimes you didn't even last a full minute.

"f-fuck baby I-"

And with one final stroke of his tongue, you were pushed over the edge and left wailing and crying as the orgasm took over your body.

He drank every single drop of your pleasure, not stopping to lick your pussy until you literally pulled him away by his head because you couldn't do it anymore.

"fuck" you exhaled, as your breathing tried to get back to normal.

He fixed your dress for you as he stood back up

"you're perfect" he murmured, a smile from ear to ear plastered on his face before he kissed you, letting you have a taste of yourself "fucking perfect"

You chuckled as you wrapped your arms behind his neck and kissed him again"We don't have time for me to take care of you too baby"

His lips pulled into a more shy smile now "yeah, that's not really necessary anyway"

You frowned, looking at him, before you let your eyes fall to his crotch.

A dark stain covered the front of his jeans.

"oh my god" you huffed out a laugh "go change"

"right away m'am" he nodded, giving you another quick kiss

"and wash your mouth a little bit"

And at that, he smirked 

"not a chance, sweetheart"

Your head tilted as you rolled your eyes at him.

"You, Joel Miller" you cocked an eyebrow as you looked into his hazel eyes"are a gross, gross perv"

A lazy smile pulled at his lips

"Only for you darlin'"

[silentmoths]

Acts of Service

The voices are still whispering and @dustofthedailylife may or may not have implanted some brainrot as we both sat and mutually gushed about how blade is a misunderstood wet dog of a man.

Blade x Reader (gn, no actual gender mentioned)

SFW, fluff and Comfort ig...honestly I dont really knoww hat to tag this one as other than just...my own ramblings abt how blade isnt just a bloodthirsty killer just LOOK AT HIM PLEASE- Not proofread, 1.2K words

When asked about Blade, most everyone would reply that he is cold, standoffish and intimidating. He looks like the kind of man who wouldn’t hesitate to end you if you accidentally put pickles on his burger.

The Stellaron Hunters would say otherwise; sure, he looks intimidating, but he’s actually a calm, thoughtful guy. The kind of man who, after several years of living with solely women, doesn’t even question when Silver Wolf, Kafka or Firefly ask him if he can go to the store, he already knows, hell- half the time, he’s already got what they need, and if he doesn't? He knows what they want before they even say it. 

He’s more attentive than people give him credit for, like a cat, lingering in the corner, but keeping watch over his territory and those he has deemed ‘his’ people. A wallflower some might say…just...one that would occasionally lash out if he deemed someone’s presence unworthy or unwelcome.

He is far sweeter than people believe, the rumours about his bloodthirsty and violent nature, and the bounty to match only serving to cover up the man beneath, the man he keeps out of the public eye the most.

Because for you? For you, he’s never been anything but attentive and kind.

He would never say it, but everything he does for you screams the lengths he would go, he would move mountains for you, destroy planets, solar systems, entire galaxies if he had to. 

It was in how he touched you; bandaged fingers always always careful, no matter how many times you assured him that you were not made of glass. It wasn't fear, you think, that kept him in this state, more like a reverence, like he was a child, and you were his most precious treasure, something he would not, or could not dare break, fold or crease. 

It was the way he always leaned his head down whenever you spoke to him, not condescending, but acknowledging. Even if his eyes were elsewhere, he always makes a point to let you know he’s listening. He takes your suggestions to heart always, he listens to your woes, sometimes he will offer words of encouragement, and sometimes he will offer his sword, if that was what would rid you of your problem faster.

(you had yet to take him up on the offer of the sword)

It was the way he cooked, despite seldom eating himself. He claims that food is simply nutrients for his body, and when he eats for himself, it is almost always something plain and easy to procure…but if he had deemed it long enough that you, or the other’s had gone without, he would rise from the couch and cook a meal that was far more complex, he was a surprisingly good cook, Xianzhou cuisine etched into his muscle memory to the point you’re sure he could make some of these dishes with his eyes closed…and yet it was only ever for you, for the girls, for literally anyone he cared enough for but himself, that he would showcase this ability for. 

You knew he struggled with memory, with himself, with his past and his present. He never verbally acknowledged it, and you think it’s because he doesn’t want you to worry; but you worry anyway, because it’s Blade, and with all the time and care he puts into you and the other Stellaron Hunters, you think he deserves that much. 

He’s far fonder of physical touch than he lets on. He claims he cares little, but the fact he seemingly physically cannot fall asleep unless he’s holding something close to his chest states otherwise. In the privacy of his own quarters with you, it’s rare that you part. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, Blade wants to be a part of it, no matter how big or small. Reading? You find yourself pulled into his lap as he leans against the wall, working on something? There’s usually a hand on your thigh, or an arm wrapped around your waist.

He liked to bite on occasion too. Nothing wholly terrible…a love language with no words. The soft nibbling of teeth along your shoulder as he holds you, or the way he would timetimes lift your hand, just to bite down onto it- this could could mean a thousand different things that he couldn’t say; ’I missed you’.

’Don’t be gone so long, next time.’

’I love you.’

You don’t need to know the exact meaning, his presence, and the act in itself was enough.

Blade liked to claim his body was nothing but a weapon, he did not understand why you saw attraction in it, but he doesn’t stop you either as you carefully unbind the bandages to see him properly. 

Nor does he realise that the scars littering his body are far more sensitive than he gave them credit for. Each scar was a story, but a story lost to the mara; his memory too foggy to discern most all of them.

All but one.

His chest, the large, jagged scar that took up near all the space of his right pectoral, long, long since healed over, but still visible. Slightly redder than the rest of his skin, pulled tight, especially just over his heart. You knew, of course, about Dan Feng, about why Blade hunted his reincarnation, but to see the scar made something twist in your gut.

Slowly, you reach out to brush your fingers along the centre, for a brief moment you feel Blade’s rabbiting heartbeat before the man lurches- his hand gripping your wrist like a vice, the pressure only growing stronger as he scowls, you gasp out as you feel your bones creak.

And just like that, the pressure lifts, the wild, frenzied look in his one visible eye fades and you see the rare flicker of concern as he hunches, his hand no longer squeezing, but cradling your wrist as his other arm comes to brace against your back. He looks horrified with himself, at what he’d done. 

“I-” He chokes out after a long moment of just…staring. “I didn’t-” 

You know, you know he didn’t mean it. You weren’t upset; perhaps a little spooked yes, but not upset. Scars held pain long thought healed, yet no matter how faded, they could still sting.

“It’s ok.” you whisper, lifting your other hand to brush some of his bangs out of the way, catching a rare glimpse of his usually covered eye. He looked like a kicked puppy, like he was expecting you to toss him out in the rain. 

You could never.

You don’t need to say anything else, knowing too much reassurance would only lead to Blade second guessing things, so you content yourself with pressing your uninjured hand to his cheek and smiling. Watching as Blade leans down and quietly presses kiss after kiss along the wrist he’d nearly snapped.

It was in these acts of service that he showed he truly cared.

Taglist: @stygianoir @meimeimeirin @ainescribe @dustofthedailylife @rjssierjrie @crystalflygeo @angel-of-requiem @asoulsreverie @zomzomb1e @moraxsthrone @mysnowmanandmebaby @inlustris-is-slowly-dying @pvbbyb0y @queen-belial Want to be added to the list? shoot me an ask~

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Saturn's Rewards. Time, Commitment, & Learning How To Be A Boss.

Saturn rewards you based off your commitment, discipline, and the amount of effort you put in to obtain the material reality you want.What beliefs, morals, and ideals do you keep in mind to ground yourself? Are you willing to face challenges and adversity? Do you remember to say thank you to the divine even when everything seems down bad?

Looking to where the planet is in your chart will speak volumes on this.

Saturn in the first house has to look forward and see things from their first mind. The second comes after. Just because there is nothing but dirt doesn't mean it cant be made into something special. I heard they sell dirt nowadays, making money off hard shit and making it a gold mine. Thats alchemy.

Commit to yourself and not what others see or think of you. The grass is always greener when its in your own yard.

Saturn in the second needs to learn their values & freedom will apply itself in the future. Financial freedom that is. The cold lessons gotta kick in before you can spend that gold from that treasure you just found! What good is it for a man to have the whole world but with the loss of his soul?

If you want to expand on your fortune, you must first appreciate the things you had before it all started piling in. Remembering your values is how you sustain your possessions and whats worth keeping. You dont need anything thats for shits n giggles all the time. You need things that will show growth in the future, not stagnancy. What are you willing to do to get the things you want? Your soul wants more but commit to having VALUES in place to receive the ideal manifestations of your worldly reality.

Saturn in the third, speak loud or forever hold your peace. These mountains need an echo from the village, and your words hold the key to salvation. You mirror societies dark picture, and theyll paint you into a villian if they can. But not without a fight first. Dont hold your tongue, as the truth will set you and others free.

Speak with authority as the teacher in you propels others to think for themselves and appreciate the power of their minds. You just gotta give it to em a little harder, but they'll think you later ;)

Saturn in the fourth house, the golden child. Yes i said it. They learn the way of their ancestors at a young age. Hell, they might even be the ancestor reincarnated. Jus gotta show everyone a thing or too before you hit it off to the next dimension ;)

These big brains know a lot and carry wisdom like no other. Its a shame that others force themselves (yes, force) to misunderstand them when their young and will convince themselves once more when their old. They can't handle the youngin holding them at a standard they themselves never gave em. Only saturn ;)

Saturn in the 5th. Play play play baby, we only got one life to live and we need yall to live it. They take things to new heights when you give em a lift. Their sturdy on the ground but they dont mind being picked up. They love to be head over heels for someone, they just wont break their standards for you so... they'll typically have to deal with bargainers from time to time. Lucky for them they never budge, which is why they stay single for a while until they find that one. They adore a love affair like in the 90s romance films, but only if it last forever. Their not too into fairytales.

Can be the life of the party but theirs limits to it. Their not your flat out drunk type, but they will be the social drinker.

Again, these babes have a standard and they hold a really good reputation for themselves & they will not do anything stupid for the sake of others enjoyment. More mature settings are best for them, no matter the age.

Saturn in the 6th house, Work work work work work! This is the house they strive in. A beneficial place for saturn before saturn is all about commitment, working hard and putting in the effort even if it makes them sick. Because thats what its like working with the 6th house (or being a virgo) and they can handle it.

Some of the hardest workers and are usually respected and valued by their co-workers and bosses due to them understanding the rules and working with them. Won't talk back unless necessary and pretty much will finish their duties without rebeling against authority. The thing is, they are naturals when it comes to management or being at the head of something so they understand what to do and what not to do. Also prone to take their time no matter how long it takes.

Saturn in the 7th, lonely lovers.. lol jk. these people are really romantic when they want to be, its hard for them to pick the right partners at time due to an influx of standards that are impossible for others to truly meet. Their a rare breed looking for another rare gem to live happily forever with. As that is not a problem, they must face themselves through the art of others showing up for them in a way they wouldn't have noticed was in them all along. Who ever they date is mirroring the inner turmoil they face on a daily, the partner is just turning up the charm on this one.

These radiators are turbulent in mass destruction when their needs aren't met in partnerships. They'll become the storm and turn everything upside down when their not facing the moments that are there to teach em a lesson. Helping them understand the dialects they have between them and other much deeper. It is for their personal growth. Believe in yourself and a better love will come.

Saturn in the 8th, testy testy. Your heart belongs to the world, your blessed to see the unknown from a consciousness thats presented with a crock of bullshit since the time you were born... not kidding. You may see things from more complexed lens from your peers but how you talk they would never know.

You have insights on how the world really works, and for better for worse you can transform things to something beneficial.

the darkside has its perks, you just have to appreciate the light a little better and everything will come together.

9th house saturns just know it all, a cosmic gift. They've learned a lot through past lives and bring it all back to us so we can appreciate the inner knowings of their minds. Their thoughts hold philosophical treasures that help us stick to a certain belief instead of always changing them. Its okay for our thoughts to evolve, but when their constantly changing with no background check it becomes a problem. 9th house saturns believe in committing to a ideal to get the better contract. Otherwise, we'll always be following someone else's tricks to believing in something that doesnt work for society as a whole but just for that person. These individuals train their minds to think bigger and expand on certain details before just sitting with a belief, its just better that way. They need to learn more so they can appreciate the wheel turning to different tides.

Saturn in the 10th, think big, dream big, be BIG. In its rightful house, these potential bosses will rule their world and leave a mark. They know what they want for themselves and they must commit to the details before that plan can get in order.

They must learn themselves in a way that others would not see coming. No such thing as potential when they already are the thing they want to embody, yall just havent seen it yet. They collect enough data before they take the world by storm with their mission and things begin to take shape for them to create space for their higher self. The kings and queens of manifesting their reality, they usually carry a lot of faith with them as they work hard to be where they want to be.

Saturn in the 11th, work hard. play hard. dont forget to thank the community, they did a lot just so they could see you win! Dont run away from help, thats your lesson here. The way you commit to yourself is the fastest way to get others to see your dreams and help you, too. This one is way shorter, i had to get straight to the point <3

Saturn in the 12th, you helpless helpers, lol jk. Seriously though, you guys need to see yourself in a better light. All that guilt shame and fear isnt doing anything but stopping you from achieving what you want. You know, calling yourself that bad word doesnt mean thats what you are... so why keep tricking your mind like that? its only going by what you say it. You're consciousness is smarter than you think. Once you learn the mind you can challenge the mind to benefit you. Commit to changing your way of thinking and watch how reality shape shifts into the world you want to be in.

hope that helps. enjoy everybody!

[star-farer]

the quiet in between

Summary: Even amidst a galaxy of war, the grass still grows. AU: Ik'aad Taglist: @kybercrystals94 @fionas-frenzy @padawancat97 @margindoodles2407 @dreamsight73 @groguandthebadbatch @sskim-milkk

Author's note: I've been thinking of this post ever since I first read it and I just had to write a little something in my AU. Edit: The author has since deleted that post and put this up instead.

A breeze tousles his hair playfully, and Hunter lifts his head to breathe in the air of young life. The forest clearing is far from quiet, little sparks of joy in the rustling leaves and the chirping critters and the twittering birds, all singing together as if in praise of all that is good and green.

There’s a crash muffled by distance, followed by dim roars of hearty laughter, and he grins at the thought of his brothers who had departed in the direction of the clamor. What mishaps, he wonders, have Wrecker and Crosshair found themselves in this time?

Any other planet and he might have stood to follow after the noise, lest danger befall them. But Kashyyyk is familiar, and he knows better than to doubt his brothers. For now, he lets amusement warm his chuckles as he turns to the rest of his aliit.

Stood before the Marauder, ever-faithful datapad clutched in his hand, Tech shakes his head at the echoes of his ori’vode and returns to his self-assigned task. Along the Marauder’s nose and side is a nasty abrasion, grey paint scraped off and showing starlit silver in the thin coarse lines. A small price to pay for narrowly escaping their latest mission, but the bruise is such that warrants a thorough inspection for fear of it being more than superficial.

Of course, their return to Kamino and then out here to Kashyyyk had gone without a hitch. But Tech being Tech had insisted upon scrutinizing his ship, claiming he’d felt a slight fault in its aerodynamics.

A little squeak plucks Hunter from his musings, and he turns to look beside him. A tiny clone girl, barely more than a tubie, stands on the tips of her toes and leans up against the bark of the wroshyr tree he is sat beneath. One tiny hand reaches up and waves about in her attempts to secure the needle blossom peering down at her, smug in the way its petals flicker in the wind.

He stifles a grin as her round face puckers in a look of utter concentration, lithe brows knitting together, small lips pulling in a pout. Coming to her aid, he reaches over and gently pulls the flower down by its green stalk until her own grasping fingers surround it.

She makes a noise of triumph even as he snaps it off from the rest of its long stem. “Ah!” she cries, holding her new-found treasure up before his face.

“Good job, ad’ika!” Ducking her head, her giggles are as bright as the dancing sunlight when he smooths a kind hand over her unruly curls.

Happy little clone, he hopes her simple joy is never soiled by the darkness of the galaxy.

Ignoring the tightness in his throat, he picks up his vibroknife once more, thumbing the face of the little wooden tooka he has been whittling for her. His heart lifts at the sight of his project, another gift carved with his own hands for his daughter.

He laughs softly. She’ll probably snap its head off, given the time, or dig strong little teeth into its grain. But it’ll be his to give and hers to take nonetheless. He supposes the deeper sentiment in its every groove is what matters at day’s end.

It appears, however, that his attention is unwilling to slide wholly away from her and back to his task at hand, and only half-begrudgingly, he turns back to gaze at his daughter.

Her eyes are wide and wondering as they consider the flower in her grasp, akin to sparkling gemstones, and the little noise she coos makes it seem as if she stares at some marvel of the galaxy and not a planet's mere fauna.

For a child of dreary Kamino, cold and stormy, he supposes it is.

There’s something familiar in her expression, though his finger slips in its attempts to point it out. Something in the way her mouth droops in a little osk and her eyes dart to and fro that tells him the resemblance to the vague image in his mind is uncanny.

She pets the petals with quiet reverence, and it’s then that Hunter recalls where he’s seen such awe before.

“Om’ika,” he says, and she looks up at him, head lolling against her shoulder. Bending closer, elbow digging into his thigh, he asks, “Why don’t you go show your buir what you’ve found?” He gestures his vibroknife in the direction of his vod’ika.

Omega follows after the hum of the bright blade, staring long at Tech, who has come to sit on the steps of the ramp and is muttering something to himself as he fiddles with his datapad. For a moment, Hunter thinks she hasn’t understood him.

It passes when, with a gasp as loud as her little lungs can provide, she pushes herself to her feet, flower still clenched in one fist, and hastily patters away across the clearing, arms flailing and curls bouncing. “Dada!”

Hunter watches Tech look up, brown eyes blinking behind yellow lenses; the same wide-wondering as little Om’ika had borne when she’d gazed upon the flower.

If there was ever any doubt concerning their relation, one look at brother and daughter ought to clear it up.

Focus falling upon her toddling form, Tech’s features soften, lips curving in a faint smile. He yields his datapad to the metal step in favor of leaning forward and stretching his arms out to receive her. A gleam of teeth show in his spreading grin when she all but lunges into his embrace.

“Dada, dada,” she insists as he lifts and settles her upon his knee, babbling in that foreign tongue of vague sounds and incoherent words. She holds up the flower before his face, just as she had with Hunter.

“Ah,” says Tech, voice so quiet across the distance Hunter wouldn’t have caught ear of it if not for his enhancements, “A needle blossom, commonly found growing upon wroshyr trees.”

But when he rubs one petal between gloved forefinger and thumb, Omega presses carefully the stalk of the flower into his palm, still babbling. As soon as it sits securely tucked between his fingers, she releases it with a happy yelp.

He looks down at her with a bemused smile. “Is it for me?”

Her coo is answer enough as her temple thumps down against his chest, stumpy legs swinging half-heartedly, one finger reaching up to brush against the petals. “Dada, dada.”

And Hunter’s heart warms as his vod’ika laughs and buries a lingering kiss in her sunlit mane. “Thank you, ner kar’ta.”

Breathing out slowly, the Sergeant and ori’vod of Clone Force 99 returns to his task at hand, carefully shaping the tooka’s nose with the tip of his blade. The breeze still toys with his hair, the melody of life still rejoices, and the sounds of his aliit play a merry tune along the chords of his heart.

From the distant forest, he hears another crash of wood and roar of laughter. From across the clearing, he hears another cheer of giggles and hum of voices.

And with a soft huff of a chuckle, he releases himself into this peace he has come to associate with the word home.

[bitebitesnap]

If you think Goku is bad at flirting, Vegeta is so much worse.

Doesn't matter at what point you meet him at. Pre-Saiyan Arc? He's an arrogant, pompous brat with a holier-than-thou stick up his ass that thinks anything below his power level is inferior and not worth his time. Namek Arc? Similar, though a bit more wary and curious as to how someone weak like you might hold this much power over him (being your cute ass in general). Any time after that is pretty much the same-him being an arrogant ass but muted by some humility enough to give you the time of day.

How does he flirt? Mostly, he just thinks he's All That. Because of course, as the Prince of All Saiyans you would clearly see the superior option for a mate and be attracted to him. Surely he could only grace you with his presence and you would bend to his will like the weak little one you are.

Then when you don't he just gets...even more enamored. Even when he's clearly frustrated because how dare you ignore him!? But he can't admit that he does find your stubbornness attractive. You don't crack under the pressure he's exerting on you-in fact you bite back. Each jab at his pride or comment about his, frankly, weird behavior both irritates and excites him. But he just can't understand why you won't give in, either. He's giving you all the attention you need what the Hell else do you want from him!? Even though his version of 'attention and/or interest' is to just be in your general area and talk to you willingly, once a week at best.

If he's really trying to get your attention he's not as kind as Goku. He's similar in that he gathers food the most, but he also gets you 'trophies' from his battles. A piece of armor from a stray soldier trying to flee, a broken horn from a creature who dared to challenge him while he was out training. Or if you're lucky, a weapon pilfered off a corpse or a whole shuttle all to yourself. All of them coming in various degrees of...clean.

The blood is decoration what are you talking about-

Though as he;s domesticated he slowly calms down in the brutality of his gifts. He starts picking up normal human behaviors, if that's more your style. He'll dig up flowers and put them into a vase for you to care for, maybe wrench out a particularly nice looking gem on a far away planet. When he's particularly ballsy he'll bring you back treasures-actual treasure this time-from places he's been (totally not from the Destroyers world, oh no-). More attention is lavished on you, genuine affectionate gestures of him nudging his shoulder into yours or staying quietly nearby if you're nervous.

He's not quite good at flirting, or even being affectionate. But patience and time has done a lot. He's a stubborn Saiyan, he;ll learn if he wants to. And you're worth learning for.

[thepictureofjune]

The Tortured Poets Departement of schloss einstein

— relating songs to characters and relationships because in my eyes, everyone is a little sad

Hallo. Wilkommen. This is me trying to relate everything I somewhat like to my current obsession even if it does not fit at all because this is a kids show and the album is probably anything but relatable to a 12 year old, trying to find a treasure. But I tried and I tried explaining my choices. This is my very insane and over-dramatic interpretation, please just deal with me. 

Disclaimer: hab versucht, mich möglichst auf Staffel 26 und 27 Charaktere zu begrenzen, hat aber (siehe literally erstes Beispiel) manchmal besser bei früheren Charakteren oder Beziehungen gepasst. Btw would love it if anyone could find people to relate the missing songs to. (my chronic rewatching kinda failed me in the end…)

Fortnight - Till und Martha (Staffel 23)

And for a fortnight there, we were forever Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary And I love you, it's ruining my life I love you, it's ruining my life I touched you for only a fortnight I touched you, but I touched you

For me this fits within the whole Martha Kasimir Till drama and obviously the somewhat enemies to lovers arc Martha and Till had going on. How probably liking Martha ruined Tills life more than it already was because when they kissed for the first time, she was still dating Kasimir and that, of course, ensured a lot of issues probably. 

The Tortured Poets Department - Nesrin und Annika (Staffel 27!)

But you're in self-sabotage mode Throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you? And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me? I laughed in your face and said "You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we'rе modern idiots" (...) Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be 'Cause we're crazy So tell me, who else is gonna know me?

We get introduced to them as these two best friends who are never really seen without each other. Annika knows Nesrin and Nesrin knows Annika and no one is ever going to get in between them, right? Because then it changes and we get the whole fight of Nesrin not really seeming to know Annika all that well anymore, them constantly fighting because maybe after all, all they had was the pranks they did together and what is their friendship beyond that? What is their friendship now?

Down Bad - Noah und Colin aus Noahs Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1062)

For a moment, I knew cosmic love Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym Everything comes out teenage petulance "Fuck it if I can't have him" "I might just die, it would make no difference" Down bad, wakin' up in blood Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up Fuck it if I can't have us I might just not get up, I might stay

Did you take all my old clothes Just to leave me here, naked and alone In a field in my same old town That somehow seems so hollow now? They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about The existence of you

I loved your hostile takeovers Encounters closer and closer All your indecent exposures How dare you say that it's— I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it How dare you think it's romantic Leaving me safe and stranded 'Cause fuck it, I was in love So fuck you if I can't have us

So Noah kinda knows he likes Colin now, knows that he misses Colin but what if Colin doesn’t miss him? What if Colin already moved on? Nothing would make sense anymore. He lost his best friend and for what? Only to be alone in the end?

Because right now, for all Noah knows, Colin might still be mad at him. 

So Long, London - Noah und Colin aus Colins Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1056) 

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away My spine split from carrying us up the hill Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe Thinkin', "How much sad did you think I had Did you think I had in me?" Oh, the tragedy

So long, London You'll find someone For so long, London Stitches undone Two graves, one gun I'll find someone And you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it My white-knuckle dying grip Holding tight to your quiet resentment And my friends said it isn't right to be scared Every day of a love affair Every breath feels like rarest air When you're not sure if he wants to be there You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waitin' for the proof You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days And I'm just getting color back into my face I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place

But Daddy I Love Him - Julia Sponer (Staffel 25 u 26) 

Too high a horse for a simple girl To rise above it They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned Scrеamin', "But, Daddy, I love him I'm havin' his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces I'm tellin' him to floor it through thе fences No, I'm not coming to my senses

This one is mainly for the dramatics of the song, of playing the part and of Julia wanting to take a path (acting) that is usually not really met with great immediate success. 

Fresh Out The Slammer - Lucky und Paulina (Staffel 11 u 12) 

Gray and blue and fights and tunnels Handcuffed to the spell I was under For just one hour of sunshine Years of labor, locks, and ceilings In the shade of how he was feeling But it's gonna be alright, I did my time Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you Frеsh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to Camera flashes, welcome bashes, get the matches Toss the ashes off the ledge As I said in my letters, now that I know better I will never lose my baby again

Give me one couple in the entirety of Schloss Einstein that screams Partners in Crime better than they do. (also give me one modern character that would be looked at like a criminal - they don’t do them like that anymore) 

Florida!!! - Joyce Simon (Staffel 24 u 25)

Little did you know your home's really only A town you're just a guest in So you work your life away just to pay For a time-share down in Destin (...) The hurricane with my name when it came I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine Well, me and my ghosts, wе had a hell of a time Yes, I'm hauntеd, but I'm feeling just fine

One character who never quite seemed to feel at home, who had a friend and still fled the country, who has never had a home because family was always foreign. 

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? - Joshua Hockenbrink (Staffel 27) 

The who's who of "Who's that?" is poised for the attack But my bare hands paved their paths You don't get to tell me about "sad" (...) Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream "Who's afraid of little old me?" You should be The scandal was contained The bullet had just grazed At all costs, keep your good name You don't get to tell me you feel bad Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one morе joke Then we could all just laugh until I cry (...) So tell me everything is not about me But what if it is? Then say they didn't do it to hurt me But what if they did? I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said? That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong

A birthday party organized simply to taunt him, the usually slightly mean behavior that drives everyone away and makes you think he is nothing more than rude, nothing more than a villain. But he’s also the boy that seems to want nothing more than to find a place that accepts him. 

loml - Leon und Io aus Leons Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1064) 

We embroidered the memories of the time I was away Stitching, "We were just kids, babe" I said, "I don't mind, it takes time" I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed I've felt a glow like this never before and never since (...) You holy ghost, you told me I'm the love of your life You said I'm the love of your life About a million times Who's gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate (...) I wish I could unrecall How we almost had it all Dancing phantoms on the terrace Are they second-hand embarrassed That I can't get out of bed

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - Massuda Phanit (Staffel 26 u 27)

I can read your mind "She's having the time of her life There in her glittering prime The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night" I can show you lies 'Cause I'm a real tough kid I can handle my shit They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did Lights, camera, bitch, smile Even when you wanna die Breaking down, I hit the floor All the piеces of me shatterеd as the crowd was chanting, "More" I was grinnin' like I'm winnin' I was hittin' my marks I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day

Massuda is glitter, she is smiles in the camera, she is organizing parties and loud music and dancing and…She is also the parents that don’t accept her if she doesn’t have good grades. She is also the one who has to hide her true self whenever her parents turn up. 

Clara Bow - Marlon to Simon (Staffel 27)

"You look like Clara Bow In this light, remarkable All your life, did you know You'd be picked like a rose?" I'm not trying to exaggerate But I think I might die if it happened Die if it happened to me No one in my small town Thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan Take the glory, give everything Promise to be dazzling

This might seem a wee bit crazy but hear me out! Marlon likes Nesrin but he also thinks Nesrin likes Simon. And he knows Simon is probably better at this whole liking someone and flirting with them thing that he will ever be because after all, he’s just the kid with the star bread.

— june🪐

(the anthology comes in a separate part bcs else this is too long to read - it already prob is)

[iced-cofi]

Another Crabs Treasure is very well my favorite souls like, and also one of my favorite games now. I would highly recommend it to anyone, even people who might be intimidated by hard games, due to its already tolerable difficulty, and plethora of accessibility options.

This post will go a bit more into my review, so read if you want honest thoughts, but there will be spoilers mentioned, so here's a quick spoiler free one!

It somehow matches being very fair and challenging, with good balance, along side the ability to get absolutely busted late game if you are willing to explore and experiment. On top of being wildly fun (or fin, if you enjoy fish puns, of which this game has many), it also has an incredibly funny, touching, and important story about the damage capitalism can do to both society and the planet, and constantly reminds the player that it's important to act. And it's contextualized in an incredible story, with an endearing main character, and a phenomenal ensemble cast that is always evolving and adding to the amazing story. I would give it an earnest 9.5/10.

Now to the spoiler part, so if you don't want spoilers, don't read below this image.

Ok first off, holy shit every boss in this game is so cool, and constantly shining with creativity and flair.

The bosses use every day trash as weapons, armor, buildings and more. It's amazing, and incredible unique and cool from an art design perspective, while showing a whimsical yet harrowing pseudo reality of the pollution in our ocean.

My particular favorites from a art design perspective are Roland and Heikea, with the former being an isopod dressed in a tall shoe collar as a vest, using 6 Allen Wrenches as weapons, while occasionally rolling up into a ball, to bounce around the literal pinball machine arena, and the latter being a samurai crab, who uses toothpicks and fake grass (the ones in sushi packs and stuff like that) as a loincloth, and uses a set of chopsticks, which he later breaks in too and dual wields, as a katana.

I also think this game has this ability to be... Beautifully melancholy. And also just... Beautiful. Like look at this shit, it's gorgeous.

This beauty is carried in its story, and while it is a relatively grim story, with death and betrayal, and a real sense of existential dread, it is also an incredibly funny, whimsical journey, that perfectly balances these two dissonant tones perfectly.

Like, for the penultimate boss, you are fighting Praya Dubia, what is basically a god of the ocean, and an accumulation of all the souls lost to the Gunk, the rot of this world caused by pollution and trash. Praya feels this wrath at the way the ocean is being ravenged, and the people who can fix it don't do anything to help, and the people who can't just sit idly and take advantage of the destruction instead of trying to fix it, and so she uses this rage to take over the mind and body of Chitan, one of Kril's (the hermit crab you play as) best and most reliable allies, to slay the creatures of the land, and cure the world of its infection using the Perfect Whorl, a shell that turns it's wearer into basically a god. (Praya needs Chitan's body cause she can't use the shell without, and her godly ability isnt nearly as powerful as the shell.)

You battle this collection of every enraged soul, which wails and curses the Gunk and all those who allowed it to fester (especially Kril) as Chitan begs Kril to free her from Praya, who, after Chitan is freed, begins to use all of her power to kill Kril, in one last push, which kills her. It's intense, and emotional, and beautiful.

And after that amazing battle, the final boss... Is a crypto bro, bootlicking, greedy prick voiced by Michael Reeves. It's a fun twist, and it's honestly funny as hell.

And also, hard. It doesn't hold back. Firth is quick, strong, and uses all the abilities you've gained throughout the story against you. It's awesome, as all the bosses are.

I love this game, and I really recommend it. It maintains a funny yet foreboding atmosphere and story, while having amazingly fun yet challenging gameplay that constantly evolves, and rewards experimentation. Oh and I forgot to mention this, but the music goes absolutely fucking wild. Like wicked shit.

9.5/10, like i said. One of my new favorites. It's only 30 bucks, and you get more than a ton of 60-70 doller triple A games would give you. And not only would you be supporting a talented, inclusive, funny indie team, you'd get an amazing experience out of it.

Pick it up if you want!

[myreygn]

tkltober day 11: Squeal

Treasure Planet - ler!Silver, lee!Jim

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♫·¯·♪¸¸♩·¯·♬¸¸

John Silver took great pride in being smooth, an absolutely necessary character trait in his position of Legendary Pirate Who Almost Stole The Greatest Treasure To Ever Exist. He wasnʼt easily flustered, provoked, or thrown off balance (figuratively, in reality his leg was a true nuisance when it came to keeping balance), and he barely ever lost his cool.

Until he let Jim Hawkins into his life, that was. The boy had the very special talent of making even his closest friends very angry and his newest method of nuisance-ing was slightly bothersome at best and downright infuriating at worst.

“Nah.”

Silver whipped around to the boy so fast he almost fell over, his apron majestically waving after him and the sponge in his hand splattering water on the wall. “Whaddaya mean, nah?! These dishes donʼt do themselves!”

“Nah.”

“Donʼt you dare say that word again!”

Jim shrugged, an ever so slight grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. Little rat. “I mean, yeah, me neither though.”

“Jimothy Hawkins, this is my kitchen and I demand you-”

“Nah, itʼs my motherʼs.” Silver felt his eyelid twitch, but he kept his mouth shut - no disrespect to Mrs. Hawkins whatsoever was tolerated in this kitchen, no matter whose kitchen it was. Jim smirked. “If you really think about it, youʼre kinda in my kitchen.”

It definitely wasnʼt Jimʼs though. Silver let out a low growl. “Your last chance, scrub. Start doing the dishes now and I might consider not making a pastry out of you.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, the old pirate trying to look as intimidating as possible and the young engineer weighing the pros and cons of giving in. Then the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. “Nah.”

Having anticipated the answer, Silver lunged forward immediately, but the reflexes of a sprout like Jim even outdid the speed of a skilled fighter, especially those of a skilled fighter whose glory days were long over. Ah yes, youth, the price for experience. Luckily, though the former might give you the momentum every once in a while, the latter always won in the end.

“AH- how did you- ehehey, stahahap!”

“Practice, lad.” Silver grinned and pulled both of Jimʼs wrists up to hold them in place with his robot arm. “I know a half-assed dash to the door when I see one.”

The boy let out a high-pitched string of giggles when a set of fingers wiggled into his ribs. “Ayehehehe! Sihihihilveheheher!”

“Yes, Jimbo?” The old pirate drilled his fingers into his victimʼs side with a smirk, making him shriek. “Care to do the dishes now?”

“Nah- no, nonono, wait, wahahahaiiit!”

“Was that a squeal I heard?”

Jim was too busy thrashing around in his grip and trying to protect his stomach to notice the fond twinkle in Silverʼs eye - and even if he noticed, he probably couldnʼt get a word in about it if he tried, too busy laughing and squealing.

“NAHAHAHAHA!”

“Yehehes,” Silver mocked. “And if you know whatʼs good for you, youʼll stop saying that word. ʼNahʼ, I canʼt even stand the sound of it. That squeal of yours on the other hand…” He chuckled softly when another one of said squeals echoed through the room. “I must say I rather like the sound of that.”

[ppnuggie]

Apologies for the previous asks

For the Rung ask And the slap a note ask, will you still be able to do them with human reader please? And the bots in both use a holoform, so they are the same size as the human

I'm sorry once again

　　　　　　RUNG x gn reader

　　　　『　rung ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> picnic date w/ rung <3

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, lil crack ,, bro experiences sour lemonade

　　— its alr :D but please keep it in mind if you request in the future :3 i only did the rung one because i didnt rlly understand the other request . made it a oneshot ,, feel free to reblog or give any comments / feedback ! <3 i enjoy reading them and seeing my work spread !

        it wasnt quite like earth ,, but it was still nice . being here with rung and introducing him to some customs from your world . and it had been a minute since you'd last gone on a picnic . air warm with a chill breeze rustling against the organic plants covering the ground . almost like grass ,, yet less itchy and more soft . not to mention the vibrant purple color . the sky was green ,, a contrast to the rest of the planets warm colored flora . almost reminding you of halloween in a way ,, with its greens ,, purples ,, and oranges . when was the last time you had celebrated halloween ? or been to a halloween party ? you couldnt even recall how long youve been aboard the lost light ,, with how much things have happened .

" (y/n) ? are you feeling alright ?" his hand settled on your shoulder ,, voice smooth and soothing to your ears . it was nice ,, having someone to care and check up on you for once . being aboard the lost light ,, the most you would get for that would be from the medics making sure you didnt break a bone doing something silly and unthought of . " yeah ,, just taking in the sights ." you smiled to the man ,, rung ,, your hand coming to meet his on your shoulder . the psychiatrist nodded with a smile ,, picnic blanket by his side as you both started to walk up the hillside . it wasnt too steep ,, yet it did pose a bit of a challenge .

his hand slid off your shoulder ,, yours following in pursuit and entangling with his . slim fingers tucked in between your own ,, his hand more warm than yours . how such a little gesture made your heart pick up ,, feeling your face heat as you treasured the feeling . it had been too long since you had felt the touch of another ,, let alone a human . even if he wasnt really human ,, it did heal your lonely and touch starved heart . the need and want of another starting to fill slowly the longer youre with rung . its almost as if all your worries fly away ,, out the window to never bother you again .

" this seems like a good spot ,," you muttered ,, setting the picnic basket and taking the blanket from rung . " can you hold the other end ?" you asked ,, waiting for him to grab the corners . you walked backwards and started to lie the blanket on the soft grass ,, placing the basket over in the middle of it . " i've never been on a picnic before . i must thank you for inviting me ,, (y/n) ." rung hummed ,, opening the basket and pulling out the goods from inside . there wasnt much ,, just some sandwiches packed with some fruits that had been previously cut . a couple of plates and two glasses ,, a pitcher of lemonade to go with . " its nothing really ,, im just glad you even came along ." you replied ,, setting the plates out and grabbing a sandwich for yourself . rung picked one up curiously ,, interested in it . " what might this be ?"

" its a sandwich . the outside is bread and inside is peanut butter and jelly . theres other kinds if you dont like that one ." you shrugged it off ,, biting into your own sandwich . rung examined it ,, lifting the top bread up a bit before putting it back down . he took a bite ,, letting out a hum at the taste . he's only had energon his whole life ,, or other versions of energon . there wasnt much of a flavor to it ,, but experiencing this was quite intriguing for him . it made him wonder what the other things youve brought along would taste like . would it taste sweet ,, like the sandwich he was eating ?

        you poured a cup of lemonade for him ,, holding it out so he can grab it . rung didnt waste a second ,, taking a small sip and taking in the different flavors . it made his 'tongue' tingle in a bizarre way ,, his eyes scrunching up . though the tang left and he was left with a sweet aftertaste . " too sour ?" you asked with a giggle ,, forgetting that sometimes lemonade doesnt suit everyone . " is that the word for it ? then yes ,, i suppose so ." rung set the drink down and continued to munch on his sandwich . you had already finished yours ,, munching on a couple of grapes that had been packed .

        " what are those ?" rung asked as he swallowed his bite ,, pointing towards the grapes in your fingers . " theyre grapes ,, a type of fruit . try one ,," you said and placed a plump grape into his open hand . " theyre not as sour as the lemonade ,, i promise ." he nodded ,, putting it in his mouth and chewing . it wasnt sour but its wasn't exactly sweet . the crunchiness soon turn into a mushy mess ,, swallowing the supposed grape . he soon finished his sandwich ,, and looked to where you laid on the blanket . " what are you doing now ?" he asked ,, setting down beside you . your hands found each other ,, entangling once more with each other . his hand warmed yours ,, a pleasant feeling with the breeze cooling your skin .

        " looking at the clouds and seeing what they look like ." you hummed ,, raising your free hand to point at one . " that one kinda looks like magnus's grumpy face ,," you snicker to yourself . rung nodded ,, smile placed lightly upon his lips . " that one sort of looks like those ,, what are they called ? ofu ?" he raised a brow in question . " its ufo ,, and yeah it does . what if it is ?" you looked over at him in surprise before laughing to yourself . " what if they're here to abduct you ?" rung widened his eyes a bit before shaking his head . " i hope not ,," he unlaced his hand from yours and cupped your cheek . " i couldnt bare to be apart from you ,," he whispered before placing a kiss on your lips .

[three--rings]

Starfield Tips/Things I Wish I Knew Earlier

Starfield is honestly amazing if you like this kind of game, but it does seem to be pretty invested in letting you figure out how it works on your own by experimentation. And it's very easy to overlook features of the game.

So...

The traits that give you parents, a fan, and a house are really neat. You get some cool stuff from them. I only did the parents but damn I'm glad I did. So consider these.

You can make your spacesuit and helmet automatically disappear if you're in breathable atmosphere/in a settlement. This way you don't have to worry about taking them off and on and potentially leaving your ship without them. And you don't look like a dork in town. The option is in the inventory page for each of them.

You can boost/sprint when floating. This is important in the Certain Plot Relevant Places.

There is a part of New Atlantis called The Well with a bunch of people and shops and you get to it from an unmarked elevator behind Jemison Merchantile in the Spaceport (or the unmarked elevator in the MAST transit station.) I played 30 hours before I found this out.

Read the skills closely, including the locked ones. Multiple times I put points in the wrong thing, thinking it would let me do things, when that was actually a different skill elsewhere.

Don't avoid the UC Vanguard questline. A lot of people I think are avoiding it because it's joining the military on a side that is a little sketchy/sus, but there's a lot of reasons to do this EARLY.

There's a museum you go through that gives you the entire lore background and recent history of the world

There's a flight simulator "test" you can take as much as you want to practice the space combat.

The storyline is REALLY REALLY good. (um, warning for horror elements) There are two different quest lines it opens and one also opens access to joining the Crimson Fleet faction.

7. When you upgrade your pilot skill it unlocks using thrusters in space flight. These let you maneuver without moving forward, so you are way more agile in combat. Use RB with a controller, IDK what the keyboard thingy is. But they're actually great. You hold down the button and then move sideways or up and down. Makes moving to new targets much better.

8. Weapons have different levels. Base which just has the name and then Calibrated, Refined, and Advanced. So pay attention and pick up the higher level ones. If you get a good advanced gun early you can use it and upgrade it for EVER. There's also rarity levels, which is the colored things. But that's about bonus effects. So you might get a really shitty gun with a Legendary bonus effect and it's still trash. If you get a high level weapon with a good bonus effect TREASURE IT.

9. Certain quests give you really good items, including SHIPS. IMO the best ship to get is the one from the Freestar Rangers.

10. Once you get a house you can build in it just like in an outpost. Also you can drop things from your inventory into an outpost or a house and then in build mode move that item around onto shelves, etc.

11. There is Universal time and Planet time. So if you wait or sleep, depending on where you are that may count as more time passing than what you chose. All shops refresh their money and inventory in 48 hours UT, but on Jemison, for example, that's only 24 hours of planet time.

12. Ship building can be intense and intimidating but it's really really worth it. You can always cancel out and undo what you did, so experiment. And when in doubt, add more engines, lol. (But really you want to add cargo space ASAP and then you need more engines, and then you end up wanting whole new ships.) Different ports have different makers of parts, and the best items are in the home port for each brand.

13. Unlocking the Ship Targeting skill is a game changer for space combat. It lets you lock on and then slows down time while you pummel the enemy's ship systems. If you take our their engines, and they are alone you can then dock with them and fight them and take their ship. Space piracy FTW.

14. If you get contraband avoid cities. Go to the Wolf System to The Den to sell it. This is very lucrative. At the slight price of your personal integrity.

15. As a general rule if something is sucking, you need to find the skill for it and invest points in it. This is true for piloting, scanning, boost packs, etc. They really made the skill trees count and be necessary in this game. Also surveying planets is really good XP actually. To help you get those points.

16. Speaking of surveying, if you are trying to complete a planet you need to visit all the biomes. If you click on the planet it will tell you the percent complete of that biome before landing. If you have one lone fauna left that fucker is probably in the ocean so look for COAST.

17. When placing outposts make sure there's not a lot of annoying mountains in it, and also you really want to prioritize sites with He-3 because you need it to really do anything. (Helium, iron, aluminum are the most important to build with.) And you have a limited number of outposts without taking a high level skill to get more.

That's all I can think of for now.

[dru-plays-starbound]

Test not the Wrath of a Good Man

CW: Canon typical violence. Written for the September monthly prompt: Spaceship. Tagging: @jacqueswriteblrlibrary

"Captain, we've entered the Duania Mass system," Nadanat's voice came over the comms, ka sibilants sounding like static. Mio looked up from where she was buckling on her armour. "Understood. SAIL, have we got a visual on the Thunder Pike?" "Yes, Captain. They appear to be headed for the third planet in the system." "Alright. Nadanat, take us in but keep the planet between us until the last second. I don't want to give them a chance to escape." "Yesss, Captain." Mio selected a handful of bombs from an open chest, clipping them to the magnetic bandolier which ran over her chest. "Elaine, how's the Mech?" "Running as sweet as she can, Cap." "Good." Mio taped the hula girl figurine on the shelf above the chest, making it wobble back and forth. With one last check-over, she climbed into the mech's cockpit. Running through the preflight checks, she called, "SAIL, pipe me the feed from Navigation. Elaine, prep to open the bay doors on my mark." "Aye, Cap," Elaine said, running to the controls. The feed popped up, showing The Vestige on her slow path to intercept the scourge that was the Thunder Pike.

Mio tamped down on her emotions as she watched. Anger served no one in battle, her mother used to say, and Mio had plenty of anger to cloud her vision if she wasn't careful. It had started five systems ago. A quick run down to a known settlement capable of supplying them with fresh food had turned into a relief effort. Bodies pulled from burnt husks of buildings; Fife working overtime to heal the townsfolk; the tale of pirates told by wailing, tear-filled voices. Mio called in a trove of favours owed, tracking the pirates' trail of carnage, only to get here too late. Once, twice. Thrice. But not this time. This time they had a destination in advance. The Vestige rounded the planet. The Thunder Pike came into view. "Open the doors! Now!" Mio cried. Elaine hit the release as Nadanat pulled The Vestige into a steep climb. The Mech sailed forward, easily slicing through the trifangles dropped by the crew of the Thunder Pike, and landed in their open bay.

The battle was bloody but short. To their credit, the Pirates fought without cowardice or quarter; but when faced with someone with arms and the skill to use them, they crumpled like a paper screen against the fury of a typhoon.

After they were defeated, it didn't take Mio long to find their hold of ill-gotten treasures, looted from the ransacked settlements. In the cockpit, she hailed The Vestige. "It's done. Nadanat, bring us in to dock with the Thunder Pike. SAIL, get Yuudai to organise offloading the loot and assign it to each town as fairly as she can. Once that's done I want Nadanat and Sakura to take the Thunder Pike to a shipbreaker. Get as much as you can for her – we'll give the profits to the settlements. Xictli will fly The Vestige back to each settlement and offload their share of the loot." "And you, Captain?" SAIL's voice modulated concern. "Single channel," Mio ordered. "Captain?" SAIL's voice now came from her personal comm. "I'm going home, SAIL." Mio's voice cracked. "I need a bath, and a cup of tea." "What shall I tell the crew?" "Anything except the truth." "Very well, Captain. I shall block your comms for twelve hours." Relief seeped into her voice, as Mio's head hung wearily. "Thank you."

–––

I based this off something that happened in-game – I flew into a system just as a pirate ship flew in as well. So I watched where they tucked into orbit and followed them, ending up taking a different route, so we met in the middle. I decided to take them on, and when it was emptied, I thought about what my character might do with the now-empty ship – and this was the result.

[zettatoad]

rating every kirby villain-turned-ally by how evil they are after becoming an ally

dedede: gotta start with the classic. if he were an actual king i might have to judge him for the sins of his ancestors but since he's consistently called a "self-proclaimed king" he's fine. he probably just found an abandoned castle and went "woah... my castle now" and then the waddle dees went "wait we have a king? that's so awesome i'm gonna follow this guy forever." anyways he's a rival and a selfish hedonist but not actually evil. arguably not ever evil but that's a philosophical debate i'm not going to get into. while not the first to help, and still sometimes a troublemaker, he's a dependable companion when it counts

meta knight: look he was attacking dreamland in revenge of meta knight for, reasons??? because he thought they were too lazy??? kind of a lame reason meta knight. the point is he counts. meta knight spends most of his time as an honorable fight seeker, like if vegeta was never evil and his goku was a baby, but he'll step up to the plate when it's time to protect the planet or whatever. he is certified Not Evil. a reliable ally whenever he shows up

dyna blade: that's right, dyna blade counts too. as we all know dyna blade was just trying to feed her kids in super star. beyond that, i believe birds are like ghosts and just sort of do things arbitrarily. rating: Not Ever Evil

marx: okay this freaking guy. i don't think marx has changed literally at all after being beaten by kirby. like in star allies he's still got his powers. the only lesson he learned is to not pull any shenanigans while kirby's around. he is probably waiting for a villain to actually defeat kirby so he can swoop in and steal all their power, and every time kirby beats some horrible god he goes "wow~ you're such a great hero, kirby~!" while being more mad than anyone has ever been

shadow kirby: hold on i'm checking the wikirby page because i needed a refresher on his lore and was reminded that he was never actually a villain in the first place. he was always helping out. my bad

dark meta knight: okay i gotta show everyone this image before i begin my analysis

look at him. he is full fist gripping that crayon. he is holding it like a child would. he's drawing his cool badass epic sword. he's having fun. he seems like he's a threatening villain ("what if meta knight were evil... that would be so sick and twisted") but really he does not know a single thing. it's gap moe

this may be controversial but my rating is: he was never actually evil in the first place. like, he was serving dark mind, and might have had some influence in turning sectonia evil and huge (maybe??? possibly???), but he is not evil. i think he's more like that one image where he doesn't have empathy and goes into a dissociative state and commits atrocities. this of course does not imply that he is good. but the potential is there

daroach: on one hand, daroach was kind of never actually evil, since all he did was steal a slice of cake and get mind controlled. on the other hand, he IS the leader of a gang of thieves, and stealing is sort of evil. like marx, he has clearly learned not to get on kirby's bad side and will help out on occasion. but if kirby needs to grab a treasure i doubt daroach would hesitate to take it first. all in all: not a good guy exactly but in the grand scheme of kirby villains, he's pretty small-scale. not much to worry about. he can't even destroy a planet

bandana waddle dee: thought i was done talking about characters who briefly opposed kirby during super star? think again. this guy's pretty much just loyal to dedede with all that entails but he seems to have a better relationship with kirby than his king does. a nice guy who likes to help out. we all love him

magolor: i've 100% completed the magolor epilogue and minimal spoilers here but that basically confirms that he's still a little bastard. like he seems to have gone "wait, losing all your friends because you betrayed them sucks," and if you want to get speculative he could have been influenced by the master crown a bit since before KRtD's opening and that might have upped his evil rating for that game. outside of that he learned nothing. he just decided that selling gem apples and running theme parks would be more fun. he loves making an attraction where close friends throw explosives at each other. his continued pseudovillainy is of course obvious, given that he has performed the most dastardly deed of all kirby characters: Selling Real-World Microtransactions. perhaps it would be better if he got defeated once and for all but unfortunately evil wizards give kirbies lots of enrichment. unless he teams up with marx and ends up in some sort of betray-off, we're stuck with him. to be clear i think he's awesome except the microtransactions

taranza: on one hand, even in triple deluxe he wasn't exactly evil, he just wanted to help out his huge, evil friend. on the other hand, kirby did kind of kill his friend. like there were some circumstances there but it'd be understandable if there was some resentment

claycia: does it count if she was only a villain because she was mind controlled and is only an ally during the final boss fight and ending of her game? i'm going to say yes because i've already included bandana waddle dee. obviously if you were being mind controlled you probably were never evil in the first place. but we don't know much about claycia's inner life. it could go either way

hold on i was on claycia's wikirby page and i noticed that drawcia shows up alongside her in some illustrations: i've played it pretty fast and loose with my criteria but i'm going to say this doesn't count as being a villain-turned-ally. documenting my process

^one of the images in question. sectonia is also there and not only has she also never been on kirby's side in a video game, i'm pretty sure she died. so this is debatably canon at best

back to your regularly scheduled programming, it's susie: susie is like. still a capitalist. i had to review her star allies pause screens and apparently she wants to bring back her dad's evil company and keep doing colonialism? like come on susie don't be this dumb. don't make kirby take you to the guillotine

addendum: kirby-polis pointed out in the tags that the original japanese star allies pause screens do not reference mechanizing planets which opens the much more sensible possibility that she went "i want to make this company be how it was before my dad got thralled by a big evil computer." but said original pause screen text also quotes her saying "i will exterminate the uncivilized." which is... questionable at best. updated verdict: susie will be spared for now but she maybe still has some learning to do

the three mage-sisters and hyness: i guess technically hyness hasn't helped kirby out yet but he's part of the package. we do not get a great deal of insight on what the lower-end believers of their religion are like so i'm optimistic about the possibility that the whole "reviving an ancient god of destruction" incident will result in religious reforms, where the sisters take on leadership positions while hyness is reduced to having more of a figurehead role where he can't revive any more ancient gods of destruction. but they might not do that and instead continue being a weird evil cult. hard to say

the beast pack: the beast pack was only being evil because their leader was mind controlled, and presumably they would feel a great debt to kirby for saving both him and their planet. but they're also a rowdy bunch. i wouldn't be surprised if they went and caused a ruckus

elfilin: hey, wait a minute! you're not a villain! you're just a little guy! you don't belong in this list! get out of here, you scamp!

[intcritus]

While the formalities around this holiday would vary from person to person, planet to planet, the concept of gift giving was something Sunday has always treasured. This year was no different. He had found it in him to procure a gift, he had wrapped it neatly in pale pink wrapping paper and he had ensured to tie a large, but elegant, ribbon on top of the box. Naturally he had attached a small card to it, nothing too memorable on its own, but added in case she wouldn't be in her room.

To you, Miss March; may your displayed memories always bring a warm smile to your lips.

From Sunday

But, he'd knock and he'd await, heels ready to turn as sounds of life reached him through the door. One might have caught a growing smile on his lips as she'd open the door, soon enough facing a halovian with a gift in hand.

"Good evening, Miss March," he'd greet her, for most hours today had been spent elsewhere on his accord, conversations and plans shared with others who deemed his journey important. That, and he had taken some time to wander streets off the express, stumbling over a digital photo projector. With a tap of your finger, and a connection to a device, it could display pictures in a hologram. What better gift for someone who enjoyed pictures? "I wasn't quite certain if you participated in the holiday know as Yule or Christmas, but I was passing a shop today and ... I wanted to bring you a gift. You may exchange it, of course, if you just so happen to have one already, and I... also wanted to thank you for the hospitality you've shown me on the express. I quite appreciate it."

He'd hold the box out to her, incapable of tearing his gaze off her.

"Merry Christmas, Miss March."

    March would admit that sometimes when holidays rolled around, she got a little melancholic. Had she ever celebrated with others in her past ? Did she have a family that existed across the stars that she had shared these moments with? It’s silly to think about now because she would probably never know but to wonder is all she had time for when they weren’t helping others. 

   Her intentions for this particular holiday? To simply exist in her room, curled around one of her soft plushies and probably nap until she could no longer stand being in her bed. For a moment, she allowed her thoughts to drift to a certain halovian, wondering what he had been up to today. She hadn’t seen him on the Express, so hopefully he was stretching his legs and seeing the sights that awaited him on the streets. A small giggle left her just thinking about him, he was truly adorable some days. Maybe the holiday would be more enjoyable if he was here to spend the day with her, just an hour since she didn’t want to take up all his time. A knock at her room door had crystalline gaze jerking there and she scrambles off the bed, running fingers through her messy hair before padding over and sliding it open. Oh, speak and he shall appear, huh ? 

❝ ━ Sunday,❞ His name is breathed from her lips with a fond smile curling up the corners, ❝ ━ You’ll live long, I was just thinking about you. ❞ It’s an easy admittance, especially given the gift box in his hands. The fact that he thought of her enough to get her a gift while strolling around ? Yeah, it was enough to cause her heart to stutter, a sting that brings a dampness to her lashes. Ah, he couldn’t keep doing this to her. 

❝ ━ As if you need to thank me for my hospitality. I enjoy having you around. It helps that I also enjoy talking to you as well ! ❞ Reaching out, she takes the gift, sniffling a little, reading the card first, lower lip quivering. Ah, she was so touched ! She’s careful in opening the gift, knowing that even if she had whatever it was that he bought her, she would discard the one she had and use Sunday’s gift only.

Oh. Oh! This was… this was precious and so needed. It’s not something she had, considering she always had her camera but to know she could now project said pictures at the drop of a dime? The touch of a finger? Something about the thoughtfulness of his gift had a single tear spilling down rounded cheek, clutching it to her cheek. March is simple, a cute item she’s there, but this gift? It was practically immortalizing the memories she was making. It made them seem more real. Emotion clogs her throat and shifting her gift to one arm, there’s helping how she uses her free arm to embrace Sunday, lifting up to press a kiss to his cheek, ❝ ━ Thank you, Sunday ! This is the greatest gift ever ! I’ll treasure it forever. This means we have to take more photos, okay ? Merry Christmas, you sweet, sweet…❞ Ah, there are no words, she’s already an emotional mess !

a christmas with a precious halovian & march <3 | @avaere

[moviemunchies]

Some-BODY once told me that Shrek was a really good move. It was huge when it first came out; everyone, I mean, everyone I know loved it, and it was freaking everywhere you looked. I was never that into it, though. In the past few years, it’s experienced something of a revival–I’ve seen discussions of how it’s actually a really good movie, covering themes like acceptance and self-image. And Dreamworks has made a lot of really good movies! So I thought it was about time I re-watched the film since I found it on Netflix.

And during this re-watch, I discovered that…. I don’t like this movie.

Shrek adapts a picture book by William Steig that you’ve probably never heard of into a CGI animated feature about the titular ogre. Rejected by ordinary people, Shrek lives alone in his swamp, until he saves the life of Donkey, a talking donkey and would-be victim of Lord Farquaad’s attempts to purge his realm, Duloc, of fairy tale creatures. Farquaad is forcefully re-locating these creatures to Shrek’s swamp, much to the ogre’s chagrin. Walking straight into Duloc, Shrek and Farquaad make a deal: he’ll get his swamp back if he goes and saves Princess Fiona to be Farquaad’s bride in order to legitimize his kingship. Of course, saving Princess Fiona isn’t so easy, and she has her own secrets that she’d rather not let anyone find out; and even then, Shrek finds that handing her over to Farquaad isn’t what he really wants.

Alright, so you can’t really talk about this movie without mentioning that the entire thing is built from the ground up as a massive ‘F*** YOU’ to Disney. Jeffrey Katzenberg, one of the co-founders of Dreamworks Studios, was former chairman of Walt Disney Studios and had a falling out, to put it mildly, with both Roy Disney (Walt Disney’s nephew and member of the board) and Disney CEO Michael Eisner, to start his own company. It’s popularly speculated that the villain of Shrek was designed to resemble Michael Eisner, and also his name sounds like ‘F***wad’.

If you did not pick up that the movie hated Disney and everything about it, that information should give you enough to work with. Though it is blindingly obvious; the princess plot where things don’t go according to plan, the fairy tale characters acting mostly as pests, the dirty jokes, how Duloc’s entrance brings to mind Disney theme parks with even a parody of “It’s a Small World”, the bird exploding when Fiona’s singing with it… It’s pretty much all there.

And yes, Disney had sort of gotten a reputation for squeaky-clean princess stories, and their attempts to move past those haven’t made much money–in part because management didn’t know how to market and when to release those movies. Treasure Planet and Atlantis: The Lost Empire might have been hits if it weren’t for those factors, but the people in charge didn’t think they’d be money makers, and thus screwed them over and said, “Welp! Those movies don’t do well, I guess!” It’s understandable, then, that a guy who worked at Disney might have had some frustration about how he couldn’t break out of the mold, and hold some resentment for that mold and then make a movie about it.

It’s so… crude, though? Much of the humor in this movie just isn’t my thing. It doesn’t feel like a passionate or thoughtful deconstruction of Disney, most of the time, it feels like taking a hammer to it, except that hammer makes fart noises. There are so many jokes that aren’t aimed at kids, but they’re not really funny as much as ‘Tee-hee, look what we put in an animated movie vaguely aimed at families!’ Like, no, I did not need a bit that implies Lord Farquaad is jacking off to the image of Princess Fiona in the Magic Mirror.

Farquaad is also annoying and that he clearly has some sort of hang-up about fairy tale creatures, and wants them out, though it’s never really developed much. Why does he hate fairy tales so much? Again, as a stand-in for Disney’s management, the notion that the guy in charge wants a standardized feel to his kingdom, and will ship out anyone different/magical makes sense; however, this falls apart because the fairy tale creatures are again, clearly meant to be annoying/stupid! And the whole idea of not judging people based on how they look or who they’re born as is thrown out the window with all the jokes about how short Farquaad is!

Probably not helping is my past experience with this movie. Many years ago, when this was A Thing, and kids just watched all the time, we were at some dinner party or New Year’s party or something. It got late and we started three different movies (this one, Princess Bride, and Willow), so probably New Year’s. The kids at the party put on this movie, and dear Lord do you have any idea how annoying it is to watch a movie where your fellow audience members know all the jokes, and say it along with the movie? Except their timing is off, so they say it right before it’s said in the movie? Yeah, that was this viewing experience. It was the most annoying way to watch what’s supposed to be a comedic film.

A lot of the jokes just don’t make much sense to me, either. Why is Robin Hood French in this movie? At first I assumed that it’s a roundabout allusion to Kevin Costner having the wrong accent in Prince of Thieves, but I looked it up, and apparently, no! It’s just because the people making the movie thought it would be funny. That’s dumb and makes no sense.

There are some things in the animation that haven’t aged well, but they had no way of knowing it at the time, they were doing the best with what they had. And so ‘meh’ on that front.

And I can’t help but think that if it hadn’t been for Shrek that so many things would have been different–the dominance of CGI over other forms of animation, the over-reliance on pop culture references, celebrity voice actors, the big dance party at the end of the movie–Shrek wasn’t the origin of all of these ideas, but it definite catapulted them into popular consciousness. Oh, and putting Eddie Murphy in tons of things. That was A Thing That Used to be A Thing for years and we all hated it.

There are some things in this movie that I do like, to be clear! I like Shrek and Fiona’s relationship! I like their character development. I like their interactions. I like that their journey consists of both of them accepting themselves and not worrying about conventional attractiveness. I don’t generally like the, “The couple has a misunderstanding based on half of a conversation,” thing, but here it’s because it reflects both of their self-loathing and I think that’s actually really interesting!

[There’s a Tumblr post about it, too.]

And there are, I guess, some jokes I liked.

Overall, though, I don’t like this movie. I can’t like this movie. Shrek doesn’t feel like a movie made by people telling a story they love, it feels like a bunch of people rambling on about how much they hate the Walt Disney Company. And to be clear, there’s a lot to dislike about the Walt Disney Company and the movies it makes. That alone doesn’t make Shrek a good movie, though. I have heard that Shrek 2 is good; I haven’t seen any of it to my recollection, so I might give it a try? As it is, though, with all the other fantastic films Dreamworks has created, I’m struggling to see why people are so attached to this one.