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your-ghoul-pal · 2 years ago

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Shining Brightly (Chapter 1/?)

Tags: transfem!terzo, fluff, coming out, accidental coming out(?), Copia is a shithead little brother, (Terzo and Copia are siblings) Wordcount: 3k

A/N: idk if I will write more for it, mostly since writers block is bugging me Read on AO3

Her heart beat high in her chest while she slipped on her only dress. A cute pinkish red dress with flowers on the skirt. She loved this dress so dearly and wished she could show everyone but she was mortified, mortified for the reactions. She was to be the next papa, she had to be a man even when she wasn't one. A knock on the door brought her back, "Don't come in" she says, panic setting out through her whole body. "Why not?" She recognized the voice of her little brother, Copia. "Ehm, because I'm changing?" she answers.

She took off the dress as quickly as she could but Copia had already entered the room holding one of his rats, "What a cool dress." "I told you to not come in" her voice was shaky.

"I'm sorry" Copia says, facing the floor.

She can hear his voice break a little. "Hey, don't worry. Just don't tell anyone about the dress" She says while quickly throwing on trousers and a t-shirt, the dress laying in a small pile on the bed.

"What dress?" Secondo says entering the room. Her cheeks flustered up in embarrassment "nothing, just don't tell any more people. Please" she said with pleading eyes.

"My mouth is sealed" she recognized Primo's voice. "Can't you leave your sister alone for one moment" once she realised what she said her eyes widened in fear. "Sister?" Secondo asked, confused.

Carefully Terzo looked up to face her brothers, none of them looked angry, their faces rather read as empathetic.

"Yes" she mumbled, her body flooding with shame.

"I've always wanted a sister" Copia broke the silence after a moment "and now I've got one of the coolest ones as well!"

Terzo felt tears burn in her eyes and a soft sob leaves her lips. Copia carefully puts the rat on his shoulder and wraps his arms around his sister.

Primo and Secondo look at each other, unsure of what to do. All they knew was that they had to protect their sister from their parents, since they were rather old fashioned. But that was a problem they would tackle later.

“Hey, Terzo?” Primo started, Terzo softly nodded “Terzo” she answered whispering. “Terzo, you know we love you, even if we don’t show it as much. But we will make shit go down if anyone dares to be mean about this. Understood?” he continued on a demanding tone that always scared Terzo a bit but she answered him with a soft nod.

“Do you want to keep this between us, just us as broth- ehm. siblings having a little secret?” Secondo chimed in. “Yes, please,” Terzo said, feeling like a weight was taken off her shoulders. However, another weight was added. Her older brothers would pose no real threat, but her little brother could be horrible at secrets. She just hoped he could keep one, for once.

Primo and Secondo left the room to go back to their tasks. Primo went back to the gardens and Secondo went to pass by the library. Copia looked at Terzo, unsure if he also had to leave. “Can I stay?” he asked with a small voice. Terzo wasn't sure, she likes hanging out with her little brother sometimes, but also often he could be a first class asshole. “Sure, just promise you won’t tell anyone, and I mean ANYONE about this.” She said after thinking about it for a moment.

Copia smiled and tried to get his rat out of his sleeve before sitting down on the bed. Terzo’s room was on the small side, plus it wasn’t very personal to her. Her mattress that laid atop of some pallets was dressed in the boring sheets from the church, plain black with some white and gold details here and there. The dresser that held her clothes was painted a dark purple, her signature colour. The colour that already dressed the cloths in front of the window. In a way she was glad her signature colour was more on the feminine side, but she wished it had been brighter.

She is pulled from her thoughts from a squeak from a rat, “Sorry” Copia murmured directly afterwards. “She had something in her fur, I tried getting it out, she is not a fan.” “Don’t worry,” Terzo says, turning to her brother. Who is holding his rat and softly pets it, his eyes are filled with questions.

“What do you want to know little one?” she says sitting down next to him. She knows he is often not the one to dare to ask anything, not wanting to be an inconvenience. “Ehm, nothing. Don’t worry about it.” he stumbles out.

“I know you want to know something, just ask it. Just let it out. I won’t be upset. I promise” Terzo said, placing her hand on Copia’s shoulder. He turns his head to her and she stares right into his little puppy eyes, on the verge of tears, “really?”

“Really” she smiles at him.

“I-I-I was wondering if, if, if. I wanted to know if.” Copia stumbles. “Take your time,” Terzo reassures him. Copia takes a deep breath and continues “I wanted to know if it is okay if I could take you to the yule celebrations as my big sister, or if we have to still go as brothers?” his voice breaking of nervousness.

“I don’t know, Yule is still many months away. Let’s first deal with the other stuff this year brings. My pappacy coming up worries me more.” Terzo responds with sorrow in her voice.

“I don’t think it should be a problem” Copia responds, hopping off the bed. “Maybe you can try and grow your hair out and make yourself more like you subtly” he adds half twirling through the small open space in the room, “Like I can help you paint your nails!” Copia adds, excited. “Maybe we can paint my nails, maybe also yours, if you want to? We can make it a kind of girls night.” Terzo said with a smile “I think there are some siblings who are okay with lending some?”

“Shall I go and ask?” Copia was practically jumping around from joy. Terzo just watched him with a smile, “Sure, just don’t tell anyone about your cool and awesome big sister.” She says. Copia turns to face her and just flips her off before running off. Terzo just scuffs at her brother's reaction, she stepped off the bed and looked at the little bundle of her dress. She picked it up and held it in front of her, turning to the mirror on the door. This dress is so fucking nice, I wish I could wear one on stage once I am pappa, or would my title be mama? She shrugs, that will discussed later she hoped.

She folds the dress up and stuffs it back into the back of the dresser, behind her “normal” clothes. Maybe someday

She sits back onto her bed and fiddles with her hands, anxious about everything that her little brother could be causing. She just hopes he tells whoever he is talking with that the nail polish he is trying to get is for him and not his big sister. She tries to keep herself from biting her nails again, knowing it will only make her upset. Short bitten off nails gave her an odd feeling of hatred, she loved her nails on the short side but well kept.

After what felt like hours, when it was maybe twenty minutes at maximum, Copia stormed into her room again. He held out his fist and opened it to show Terzo a bottle of deep blue purple ish nail polish. “Unholy Satanas, that is fucking beautiful” Terzo exclaimed picking over the bottle.

She scooted a bit to the side and petted the now empty spot next to her, inviting Copia to sit next to her. Carefully she unscrews the bottle and streaks the excess nail polish of the brush and puts the bottle on her nightstand. She takes the brush and hands it to Copia. “Can you paint them for me?” Terzo asked in a small voice. “Sure, but be warned, I am probably pretty bad at it” he answered with a cheeky smile.

“Probably better than if I did it myself.”

Copia took the little brush in his hand and Terzo’s hand in his other, carefully he began to paint her nails. One by one they got a thin coat of nail polish.

Terzo noticed tears rolling down her cheeks, she had tried to stop them but it was a hopeless attempt. However they didn’t feel like tears of sadness or anything bad. It were tears that held hands with her while skipping through the high grass and flowers, forgetting all worries and problems. She wished this feeling to stay forever.

After the first coat of nail polish was on Copia screwed the bottle close again, waiting for the coat to dry before applying the second one. They both looked at the work Copia had done so far, surely it didn’t look amazing but Terzo didn’t care, it made her feel alive.

“Have you done this before?” Terzo asked, breaking the silence and Copia’s concentration. Copia turned to her, shaking his head. “Nope, never really done it myself, but I have seen siblings paint each other's nails a lot so I just copied what they did” he shrugs.

The silence returns, Copia let himself fall back onto the bed with a deep sigh. Terzo turns slightly to look at him, raising her eyebrow. “What the fuck was that needed for?” she says.

“What was what needed for” Copia says, slightly annoyed, propping himself up on his elbows. “There was no need to throw yourself back that hard, you know you could have very possibly hit the wall with your head. You know what happened last time, you don't want that again, do you?” Terzo says with a serious tone.

“Ugh”, Copia grunted as he threw himself on the bed again.

After a few minutes of tense silence Copia sits up again and reaches for the nail polish. “I think the first coat is dry, let’s add the second one” he says, twisting the cap off. Terzo gave him her hand and Copia carefully adds a second coat of polish. Terzo looks at him working carefully, his tongue pushed out a little bit as a sign of his concentration.

“And… done.” he says sitting up and loosening his grip on her hand, Terzo looks at her hands. The nail polish was not as neat, little blobs of it sitting around her finger nails, but she didn’t care. “I am sorry it is so messy, I truly tried” Copia says in a small voice, letting his head hang. “Don’t worry little one, I love it.” Terzo reassured him, “really” Copia softly said, turning his head a bit to face her. “Yes,” Terzo answered.

“Now we wait for it to dry, but I think I will first bring this back to the sibling I lend it from.” Copia says, standing up and grabbing the bottle. “Don’t you want to paint your nails too?” Terzo asked him, confused. “I’d want to but I think it gets in the way of handling my rats so I will skip out on this one” he said hopping off the bed. “Oh, okay”, she responded with slight disappointment.

—

Terzo felt glad no one really mentioned the nail polish, and the one sibling who had asked about it was nice about it. Only Imperator and Nihil had been mean about it, but her brothers had stood up for her. However when she noticed that the nail polish began to chip away she felt a dread in her chest, her painted nails brought her so much joy. She didn’t understand why but who cares, sometimes things don’t need to make sense.

The one response she will never forget is from a sister who had pulled her to the side. Which already didn’t happen often, and when it did there was a lot of flirting going on beforehand. But this time, there hadn’t been any flirting, hell there had never been a conversation between the two of them, or at least for as far as Terzo remembered.

“I am sorry, but I just need to talk to you, under four eyes” the sister said, in a voice familiar to Terzo but she couldn’t place it. “No reason to be sorry, Sister…. What is your name?” She carefully asked. “I am sister Agnes, well you don’t know me as that, but it is who I truly am.” Sister Agnes responded. Terzo raised her eyebrow,

“What do you mean?”

Agnes took a deep breath, “What I am trying to say is that I joined the church as a brother, and well now I am here, as me, a sister of sin. Living a happy and sinful life.” “Well I am happy you found yourself sister, but may I ask what this has to do with me?” Terzo asked, trying to avoid the topic shifting to her.

“I know something is bothering you, you are scared to admit it, or at least show it. I can see it in your eyes. It may be invisible to others but I see it in you, everything you do tells me something about you. Would you be okay with talking about it with me?” Agnes says, her hand holding Terzo’s chin and forcing her to keep eye contact. Terzo flashes her eyes between Agnes’ eyes, terrified. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK HOW DID I NOT KEEP MY GUARD UP ENOUGH, SOMEONE SAW RIGHT TROUGH IT. I AM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT.

“Hey, back to earth.” Agnes snapped her fingers in front of Terzo’s face. “Would you be okay with talking about it with me, cause I feel it is an issue I have a bit more knowledge on than the average person.” she said with a small laugh, gesturing at herself. “I-I-I don’t know what you are talking about, why would you make such assumptions about your future leader,” Terzo responded, trying to sound big and strong but instead she sounded weak, frail and scared. She knew that Agnes was aware, she knew she could help, but she was too scared to admit it. “Are you serious?” Agnes said, almost teasingly.

Terzo tried to let her head hang but Agnes quickly grabbed her chin and made her look up to her again, “Let me try again. Would. You. Be. Okay. To. Talk. About. It. With. Me.” she said, putting emphasis on every word. Terzo looked down and let her shoulders hang, she could let her head hang since Agnes moved her hands to lay on Terzo’s shoulders. “Anyways, if you want to talk you know how to find me” she smiled at her before leaving. Terzo stayed behind, in utter shock. She wasn’t sure what happened, but she knew she should talk to her. She knew she would need to set herself over her fears and pride and just get help answering her questions.

After a few minutes of staring at the floor, lost in thoughts she also left and returned to her room. Once she closed the door the tears started to flood her eyes, spilling over her cheeks and onto the floor. She let herself slide down the door to the floor, her head leaning against her knees that she had pulled up to her chest. She didn’t hear the soft squeaking from a rat, Copia’s rat, so when she felt soft fur against her leg she was startled.

She carefully picked up the rat, “What are you doing here little fella? Do you like me more than my annoying little brother?” she asks the rat in a playful tone. The rat squeaks back at her, causing her to smile a bit. “Come let’s bring you back to where you belong.” She stands up and puts the rat on her shoulder and wipes her face clean off the tears.

She walks down the hallways to her brother's room, the rat happily squeaking on her shoulder. She doesn’t knock before entering his room, she is met by Copia, sitting on the floor. His shoulders softly shaking, indicating that he is crying. “Hey, little bro, I found your rat,” she says, carefully approaching him. “Thank you” he softly sobs, taking over the rat Terzo hands him. “What’s the matter little guy?” Terzo asks, sitting down next to him on the floor. “Nothing,” Copia shrugged, his head turned to the floor.

“Don’t try and act all tough,” Terzo says softly, nudging him. Copia smiles a bit and scoffs at her, “I am not trying to act tough, I am though.” “Yeah and the moon is square” Terzo jokes at him. Copia scuffs and gives Terzo a shove, “You are still such an ass, you know that right?” She laughs “Well, I am still your big sibling, it is my big sibling duty. Doesn’t matter if I’m your big sister or your big brother.” Copia rolls his eyes and stands up to put the rat back into its cage.

Terzo stands up and joins him by the cage, 2 rats are now seem curled up against each other in the little hangmat. Terzo leans her head against Copia’s shoulder, since he is a bit taller. “Is this part of having a sister? Having some emotional wreckage leaning against me?” Copia says playfully, softly shoving Terzo away from him. Terzo lifts her head up and turns to face him just to roll her eyes at him and scuff.

“Anyway, I have to get going, I have work to do. Keep your rats to yourself little one” Terzo says turning to the door, she can hear Copia murmur “I am literally fucking taller than you, stop calling me little.” Before she slips out the door she adds “You are younger, you will always be my teeny tiny little brother”. All Terzo hears while she walks away from her brother's room is an annoyed grunt and she softly laughs to herself.

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