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4townlove · 3 years ago

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Ik you said all the guys give you trans masc vibes... so maybe some trans headcanons if you're cool with that? general life bits, fame, does management let them come out or do they even want to, whatever you wanna give us :)

eeee im excited for this one! the topic means so much to me but forewarning... this one is gonna be l o n g. i got a littlr excited haga. here we go. now presenting...

4⭐Town Headcanons: Becoming the Boys

⭐ Robaire

he grew up in a large, vastly talented and deeply supportive family. none of them ever doubted that he would do something marvellous with his life. from very young, he was obsessed with romance, fawned over popular boybands and himself had the most beautiful singing voice, masterful range and control over his tone, and his parents wasted no expense in ensuring he grew up to the utmost prestige. Robaire grew up into himself quickly, taking on all the support and using it as fuel to discover what else he could do and be, and that curiosity led him down a path of more internal investigation.

he kept his questions about himself to himself for a while, wrestling alot with doubts and fears that he might shatter his parents perfect image of him if he spoke too soon or wasnt sure or said something out of turn, but by the time he turned 15, he was certain. after a week of putting it off and panicking whenever they looked at him for fear they already knew, he asked to talk to them both. he was scared, deeply so, and his parents seemed to sense it but gave him time, and after a few minutes, he quietly explained how he felt about himself, his body and how he saw himself in future.

his parents were silent for a time, and just sort of looked at him. they hadnt ever heard anything about this topic before so didnt know how to respond, but before Robaire broke down in tears in panic, his mother hugged him tight to comfort him and reassure him that they still loved him, his father not too far behind.

for a couple weeks following his confession, while reassuring Robaire as often as possible, his parents researched the topic of being trans thoroughly together, what it meant to feel that way, how it might manifest in different people, how to help someone who is trans, what to do as a parent and what resources were available. about a month later, Robaire's parents sat him down alone again, and he again was shot with panic, but after they smiled at each other, his mother revealed a binder and his father pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, asking Robaire to tell them his chosen name, his real name. Robaire's green eyes lit up brighter than any star as tears rolled down his cheeks, a smile as wide as the sky stretching across his dark face and as he wrote in large cursive "Robaire", the rest became history. he started medical transition not long after that.

when it came to being in 4Town, he was the first to announce it and very soon after they debutted. he'd never been ashamed to be himself and management always encouraged him to be so. they were worried though about potential backlash from his boldness but Robaire insisted that this was something he wanted to do. they supported him as much as possible after his coming out, and the overwhelming joy from fans, his family and friends, and other artists only gave the company, Robaire himself and the others more confidence to be themselves unapologetically.

⭐ Jesse

Jesse was confident, charming and very smart as a child. without a father around, his older brother and mother worked hard to ensure he got a great education and childhood, and seeing them work so hard only made Jesse begin to grow into the compassionate man he is today, but there was one step he had to pass through before that became his reality.

one afternoon when Jesse was 12 years old, he was in school and preparing for PE when he glimpsed himself in the mirror and a terrfying, crushing sense of discomfort engulfed him at once. he froze, heavy tears immediately rushing out of his eyes and down his face. he wanted to look away from himself but he couldn't, and the more he looked, the more he realised was wrong. he was a mess, sobbing in the corner of the changing room, so much so that his mother had to come and bring him home for the day, but once home, he ran to his room and slammed the door behind him. he couldn't figure it out but he felt so much pain and he needed to fix it. he had to. he worried even more because his mother was worried, and when his brother got home from work, he'd worry too. and then it hit him.

Jesse got up from his bed and wiped his face, sneaking to his brothers room and grabbing a shirt, and returning to his own, pulled it on. it was too big but large enough to hide his bodily features. he pulled his hair into a tight ponytail so from straight on it looked short, and immediately his face burned a blush. it hit him again, and this time, he was more determined than afraid. he stayed in his room til his brother got home, and once he did, he marched out and announced to him and his mother, "I'm a boy." of course, they were confused and asked what he was talking about, and when he just repeated the statement again, blue eyes blazing, his mother was the first to eventually smile, walk over and hug him tightly, kissing his forehead softly, telling him that it was going to be ok and that they would take things slow.

Jesse's brother took a little longer to warm up to the idea but after a few months when they went with him to get his hair cut for the first time, and he saw Jesse in the mirror, he saw him for the boy he was and smiled in a way that would let Jesse know that he was with him.

he didn't change his birthname upon going forward with his transition, and by the time he entered the last years of high school, he fully passed as a guy. it wasn't an easy journey though, especially after he fell pregnant with his twins, but slowly and surely, Jesse came into himself, growing all the more confident as he began his own life: starting college, having his kids, and eventually ending up in 4Town. everyone who knew him knew he was trans so he didn't necessarily have to come out again, but when Robaire did so to the public, he blurted it out at the same time, making them fast friends off the bat and creating an even greater atmosphere in the company and public eye.

⭐ Taeyoung

growing up in a fairly traditional Korean family, Taeyoung wasnt given much room to experiment with himself. he loves his parents, despite their being strict with him and his older sister, but as he grew up, he began to feel more new emotions and experiences in himself beyond his first crush. knowing his parents wouldn't entertain his questioning much, if at all, Taeyoung wrote everything he felt down in a secret diary he kept in his closet, pretending to sleep til the middle of the night when he'd wake up and pour out his heart on the pages, saving up the pocket money his mother gave him each week to buy new diaries, new pens, stickers and eventually, when his searching brought him to the realisation about himself that he'd been searching for, his first binder.

Taeyoung would bundle it in his backpack and put it on when he went to school, glowing with excitement as he spent the day comfortable before returning home. for a few years it was a flawless plan, sending new binders to his friend's house who would then bring them to school for him, filling so many diaries with his questioning, name ideas, stories from his wild and rose-tinted imagination while appeasing his parents' expectations of him by excelling in his grades and the extra-curricular music activities he was so passionate about. it was bliss, until the afternoon when he was at school that his father decided to clear out old clothes and all his diaries fell out with his first binder.

when he got home from school that day, excited to present his family with the news that he'd been chosen to sing at the school's graduation ceremony when he found his parents and sister at the door waiting for him. he was confused but when he saw what was in his father's hands, he paled and fell silent. for a few hours, he just sat with his head bowed, listening to his parents questions and confused remarks, their requests to know who made him think this way, but when his mother asked, "Why didn't you come to us first?" Taeyoung broke down. balling his eyes out, he confessed that he was terrified of what they'd say, afraid to disappoint them, afraid of what was happening to him. he cried for a while, as did his mother, but it was his sister standing to hug him tightly that really stuck with his parents

for a long time, a few years actually, things were slightly tense in the household. they didnt talk about it much, never brought it up but his parents did their best to get the family back to normal. his father comes around first, both of them having long conversations about how Taeyoung feels and what he wants to do.

his mother took the longest to come around. she didnt understand Taeyoung being a boy but still wanting to do and enjoying "girl stuff" but with help from her husband as she watched Taeyoung flourish in his music so much so that he was scouted to be part of a boyband, she finally decided to give him a chance to be himself. Taeyoung only started medical transition after becoming a member of 4Town so management always provided him with the assistance and professional support he needed to do so whilst they made music.

4Town's popularity and success is what eventually won his mother over, especially when she saw Robaire and Jesse come out as trans too, saw how genuinely happy Taeyoung was with the other guys, and how he flourished into the kind, gentle soul he is now. he didnt come out himself publically for a few years but when he did, he did so with the other members, his best friends and brothers, all with him and for once, cried tears of joy.

⭐ Aaron T

he was always "one of the guys" when he was little, being the only one to play rough and tough with the boys during PE, walk over and stand with the boys without thinking whenever his teachers told the class to split into boys and girls, and when he was only 6, he asked his mum to buy him boxers and swimming trunks. she knew from the start that he was a boy, but was afraid of the bullying that kids are known for. Aaron T was all she had and if he was ever hurt, she wouldnt be able to take it, but that didn't stop her from giving him the attention and care he needed as a growing boy.

Aaron T came into himself quickly. by middle school he already passed and became even more vibrant and alive than he'd ever been. seeing his mother's worry about him assimulating into school life while trans only pushed him to make her smile as often as possible, and in doing so, became quite the prankster. he'd swap the sugar in her tea for salt, he'd hide her keys until she was chasing him around the house to find them, or just rattling off bad jokes while they relaxed on the couch watching TV. his mother's laugh brought him so much joy. Aaron wanted to see her smile like that about him, not just from the jokes he'd tell her, so did his best to become a young man she could always smile about.

despite his jokester disposition, he took his early transition fairly seriously, making sure to take his shots on time and keeping appointments, and the more he became himself, the more alive his personality became. he started writing poems that would become raps which he would perform at school while standing on lunch tables much to the applause of his classmates and the chagrin of his teachers, he'd make posters about trans rights and get to school early enough to plaster the walls with them before any teachers could catch him (though a few times they did resulting in his mother being called), and when a few other students came to him to ask about being trans, he started a secret club to help them, make them laugh and give them as much information as he knew.

his antics got him recognised quickly by locals and beyond, and one day, after performing at a local talent show a few months after graduating high school, a man approached him to ask if he'd be interested in being part of a boyband. he agreed on the spot of course, but went home to tell his mother and that day, she beamed wider than the sky, wrapped him in her arms and planted a million kisses all over his face, declaring her pride for her one and only son. that was the first and only day Aaron T cried truly but even still, he laughed through it, promising her that he would continue to make her proud and make as many people smile as bright as she was.

he quickly got accepted as a member of 4Town, his attempts to break the ice with the guys making Taeyoung laughs so sweetly, and when they slowly but surely all came out as trans too, Aaron T knew that not only had he achieved his dream, he had a new family and a home away from home too.

⭐ Aaron Z

Aaron Z didn't know that being trans was a thing until much later in his life. he went through childhood, middle school and high school under the kind and careful guidance of his loving grandmother, leaning on her and helping her as much as he could when he was young. growing up without parents, and having his only guardian being an elder meant he didn't have much time to consider himself, his wants or what he wanted to become, but the more free time he got as he grew, the more he started thinking about what he actually wanted.

it was his grandmother that encouraged him to experiment with fashion and accessories, taking him to shopping malls to help him pick out new clothes that suited his style, getting his hair cut short to see how he felt about it. he enjoyed the "tomboy" style he was slowly adopting, but never committed to it in public. he was so shy that he only ever experimented within the safety of his grandmothers house, but found solace on the basketball court. at lunch, he'd play with the boys and was often asked to join the official team, despite the circumstances. but it was on the day that the coach actually allowed him to play in a school game and they won because of him that he rushed home to his grandmother and admitted that he likes being a boy.

his grandmother only chuckled knowingly as she presented him with his first binder and offered to call the doctor about his decision. his transition was a slow process and not really medical. Z alwsys felt more transmasc than trans man, sticking with just the binder for the first few years and even still when 4Town debuted.

Jesse helped him with his shots, Aaron T brought him out of his shell a little more and because of his help, decided on his new name, Aaron Z. he was the last to declare himself publicly, waiting until their 5th anniversary to do so and once all 5 of them were out, their popularity seemed to explode. they were trailblazers in the music industry, breaking records and shocking the world with their music and confidence.

#turning red #pixar #4town #4town headcanons #trans #transmasc #trans man #4town robaire #4town jesse #4town taeyoung #4town aaron t #4town aaron z #4townie #⭐headcanons #⭐requests #⭐from 4townlove

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andmyvape · 3 years ago

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"Please tell me you're not wearing that."

Elayn looked down, then back up with a wide grin. She tugged at her bright rainbow suspenders with her thumbs. "What, not tacky enough?"

Serana gave the ensemble another slow scan. "No, it's… definitely tacky. The combat boots with the khaki shorts is a nice touch."

The grin got wider as she stuffed her hands into her pockets. "They're going to be throwing candy, and I wasn't anywhere near prepared enough last time."

Serana rolled her eyes, but softened it with a smile. "You're ridiculous."

"Isn't that why we're dating?" her girlfriend asked as they headed out the door.

She took a moment to lock up while Serana laughed. "'Careless Whisper' on a boom box outside my window. I can't believe my dad didn't kill you. I know you stole that, by the way. We both went to see that movie when it came out."

"They marketed it as a romcom!" Elayn protested.

They were in the car now. It would be a trick to find parking, but they were running early thanks to Serana's habit of scheduling everything. Elayn was more the type to go with the flow, but living together had her adapted enough that the flow she went with was largely dictated by Serana's schedule. As a research chemist, she worked interesting hours at times, but Elayn was a good roommate, she cooked and cleaned, mostly because she had the time. Lacrosse wasn't a well paying sport compared to something like soccer, but the off seasons gave her plenty of time to maintain their loft.

"Five dollars an hour?" Elayn griped as the machine printed out their ticket.

"Homophobia strikes again," Serana said with mock solemnity.

She snorted and wrapped an arm around her girlfriend's waste. "Which park did you say this thing started in again?"

It was a little place surrounded by tall buildings, but it was a green patch in a city largely made out of grey. It being Pride Month, the grey was broken up by rainbows. The two wandered around as they waited for the parade to start.

Well, at least, they started to wander when Elayn caught sight of a dog and all but dragged her girlfriend over to say hi.

"What's his name?" she asked, so full of enthusiasm she practically floated. "Can I pet him?"

The dog's owner, someone with a short haircut in a crop top that was orange, yellow, and white striped, nodded. "If he lets you. Sometimes he's not so-- oh gosh," they said, eyes wide as they watched Elayn kneel down and offer a hand to sniff that was immediately accepted. "You must have good vibes."

"She's a dog person," Serana said with a laugh as the dog put its front paws on Elayn's shoulders so he could lick her face.

"What's his name?" she asked through slobbery kisses.

The butch grinned. "That's Duke, I'm Cas. It's nice to meet you!"

The two introduced themselves just in time for a volunteer to come up with bottles of water. "Our city got voted best water in the state," she said cheerfully. "Take a few, it's gonna be a hot one."

Before the march, there were speeches. The first was an introduction to the city's first pride parade since the 80s. The second was from a drag queen inviting everyone to the show later that night. Finally, the speeches were closed by an Episcopalian pastor trying to make up for the rest of Christianity's sins.

"It's starting!" Elayn said excitedly when the crowd started to funnel out of the park.

The march went down the sidewalk for a few blocks. Traffic was halted and the waiting cars honked while passengers waved. Elayn waved a lesbian flag, Serana had a bi flag, and the two of them dragged a rainbow striped cooler.

"Mom! Mom!" Elayn heard behind her. "Look, it's two cicadas going at it!"

She glanced behind her. There was a set of twins, about twelve years old, one of them draped in a trans flag and holding the cicadas that were indeed trying to reproduce. Elayn snorted and hit herself in the face trying to keep a laugh contained. "You like bugs, huh?"

The girl in the trans flag beamed. "They're my favorite! Well, except for tarantulas, but Mom won't let me have one."

"The rabbit gets out of its cage enough." The way the girl's mom said it, this was an age old argument. "I don't want to squash it when it ends up in my shoe."

"I had a snake when I was growing up," Serana chimed in. "A corn snake that never got out."

The twins turned out to be part of a family unit. One twin was trans, and their older brother was too, and as Elayn found soon, was very excited to start HRT. "Get a Gc2b binder," she said. "When I'm feeling like a flat day, it works really well."

The boy, a younger fourteen, practically floated with excitement. "I will!"

Serana chatted with the parents while Elayn occupied the kids. "Have you folks been to Pride before?"

Their mom, a woman named Chelsea, shook her head. "Nope, both kids came out last September and they've been talking about the festival ever since."

"You seem like really supportive parents," Serana said. It carried the weight of one speaking who has not had contact with their parents since high school.

Chelsea could tell, and she opened her arms for a hug that Serana was more than happy to accept.

The march was only about a mile long, and it ended in another park. Elayn craned her neck and said, "I think I see the beer line, wait here?"

"We will!" said the girl, who was very proud to be named Luna now.

Serana and Chelsea shared a grin. "I guess we'll wait here," the mom said.

It was a bit of a line, which was probably not a good thing, but apparently people were restricted on how many drinks they could buy, so at least there was that. While Elayn waited, she was joined by two people wearing pronoun pins that said "she/her".

Elayn's jaw dropped at the sight of one of the girls' dress, which was a flowing, fae like ensemble. "Holy shit!" she said. "You look amazing!"

She blushed and ducked her head as she smiled. "Thank you, I got it from Amazon."

"It's her first Pride," her friend added.

That just amazed Elayn more. "With the sparkles and the green eyeshadow, I wouldn't have guessed. Everything you've got going on is just amazing."

"Thank you!" she squeaked.

Elayn wasn't alone in thinking the dress was gorgeous. Another person came up to compliment it, and they had such dope tattoos that Elayn could not help but comment.

"The guy that did them is great," they gushed. "He does blacklight work too!"

So she got a website saved on her phone for the next time she really wanted to get a tattoo on top of the three she already had; scrollwork on her bicep, a wolf on her shoulder blade, and a small date on her wrist that was the day she met Serana.

When she got back to her girlfriend and the others, an IPA in hand that was frankly piss, she told them about the girl in the fae dress.

"I saw her!" Serana exclaimed.

"Amazon."

"No way."

Next was food, especially if she was going to drink a beer. Assuming she actually drank it. "There's some food trucks," she pointed out. "I could go for a corndog."

"I'm going to get some mac and cheese," Serana said.

"Mom! Mom!" Luna's twin brother, Ian, tugged at his mom's sleeve. "Can we get pretzels?"

Chelsea sighed good-naturedly. "I suppose. Do you two want to meet up after?"

"Over by the stage?" Elayn suggested.

The group separated. She found the line for corndogs and funnel cake. While she was waiting, the woman ahead of her glanced her way, so Elayn said, "Howdy!"

"Hey there, hun!" She clapped her on the shoulder. "Having a good time?"

"I am," she said with a grin. "Everyone here is so nice. There were some moms back there handing out hugs!"

"Well, I'm a mom, would you like a hug?"

"I would love that."

It was a lovely hug, the woman was warm and smelled floral. When they separated, she said, "I'm Elayn! It's good to meet you. Can I get you a corndog?"

As she pulled out her wallet, the woman waved her money away. "It's Nessa, and actually, I'd like to buy you a corndog."

"You don't have to--"

Nessa laughed. "I miss my daughters, you'd be doing me a favor."

They chatted while the line went down, about lacrosse and about university. It turned out Nessa's two daughters went off to college in other cities, so it had been a while since she saw either. "I had a son," she said. "But now I have a very happy daughter, and I'm so proud of her."

"I wish I had a mom like you," Elayn said, thinking about growing up foster care.

Nessa grabbed her in another hug. "Now you do!"

When she got back to Serana and the others, they were listening to the music booming from the speakers. She had to yell to tell the group about her new mom.

Chelsea looked a little sad, because she could connect the dots, but Luna and Ian were too busy freaking out over the cotton candy Nessa had bought her too.

Not long after, the stage was occupied. Elayn was chatting with Luna with her back turned, so she missed it until Serana tapped her shoulder and turned her around.

"Holy shit!" She hollered and clapped at the sight of a gorgeous, sequin clad drag queen in four inch heels doing a backflip off the stage and onto grass. "Holy shit!"

As it turned out, the drag queens took tips, and it was at that point that Elayn knew she was about to spend a lot of money. Each queen that performed, and there were many, got a five in exchange for the sheer joy Elayn got when the queen before her touched her hand.

When there was a break in the performances, she went back to Serana, who had a smirk on her face. "Should I be jealous?"

Elayn cupped her face, and in a fit of sheer enthusiasm, kissed her girlfriend soundly, to the delight of the twins who hooted. "Don't worry, babe," she teased. "You're the only queen for me."

"Flatterer." Serana swatted at her chest, but the smile on her face was pleased regardless.

It was all a blur from there. Fair food, loud music-- and Elayn found beer that wasn't piss! She taught the twins a new vocabulary of cuss words the moment she found out their mom was fine with foul language. They parted around five in the afternoon, when a voice through a megaphone warned attendants that the festival was about to start catering to adults. There was a concert with more drag queens, this time in much more risqué outfits that Elayn would have given a kidney to see on Serana.

When she said something, her girlfriend got a light in her eye. "Really now?" she purred. "Maybe for your birthday."

By 11pm, Elayn was high on the party atmosphere and a few beers. The festival was over, and the walk back to their car would be a trick. "Did you have fun?" she asked Serana as they walked hand in hand.

She got a kiss on the cheek. "I'm so glad I have you. When are we getting married?"

"When I figure out how to surprise you with a ring."

#skyrim fanfiction #Modern AU #pride 2021 #Femslash #dragonborn #serana #Whoever gets the reference gets a cookie and to feel superior

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itisannak · 4 years ago

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V-A-L-N-T-Y-N-E (Calum Hood Fluff)

Summary: Calum meets (Y/N) while shooting the music video for Valentine. Past relationships make it kind of difficult for them to be completely comfortable with each other. Past relationships, and the fact (Y/N) is trans. (Words: 8.4k) (Request)

My Uber leaves me right in front of the house that corresponds to the address the driver has been given. My day started with a delivery of fresh coffee and pastries to my door and then continued with an Uber hauling me straight to the client's door. It has been a while since I have done a house visit for a client, I am way past doing people's makeup for a living now, but the client seemed like a big deal; first, I was contacted by his management, then he called himself so we could talk about the aesthetic. And the money he offered for just a day's worth of working, really couldn't be turned down. To my understanding, this will be some sort of video production, so I can only hope for some extra exposure. I ring the bell, shifting my weight from leg to leg as I try to forget how heavy my makeup carrier is today. The door is answered by the man I talked to on FaceTime just a week ago. "Good morning, (Y/N). Come on in. Did you find the house with ease?" He asks, smiling charmingly. "Good morning. The driver didn't even have to look at the GPS to find the house. Thanks for the Uber and the breakfast, by the way. It was very kind of you." I walk into the house; the first thing I notice is how serene the house is, how quiet, how simplistic yet elegant. Then I notice the art-covered walls, the vibrant but subtle pieces that give character to the place without being too loud. I gotta admit, I am surprised by his taste. "No problem. Can I take that for you?" He asks me, pointing at the makeup carrier. "Do you mind if I carry it? The contains can be pretty fragile, I have to be careful." I comment and he nods. "Of course. Where do you want to set up?" He asks me. "Where do you want me to?" "Whenever you are comfortable to. I don't really know about the lighting you prefer." He states. "Can I see where you will be filming? It will help me get an understanding of what light you will be having." I ask and he nods. "Of course, follow me." He heads ahead, walking past the entrance and the kitchen until we are in the back of the house, heading towards the basement of it.

"It is pretty dark in here..." I say, suddenly turning a bit nervous. This could possibly end in a murder... I am in a stranger's house, heading toward a bad-lit basement, I have seen that shit in movies. "Sorry about that. We are going to film on a dark background, so we have covered the windows to avoid getting light in. We will have the filming lights open, of course. And if you need extra lighting, just let me know." He says, showing me the setup. There is another man in here, setting up the lights and camera. "This is Andy. He is my co-director for the day. Andy, this is (Y/N), the makeup artist." Ashton introduces us. The man stands up from crouching before the tripod, extending his hand for me to shake. "It is nice to meet you, (Y/N). I hope you enjoy working with us." "It is nice to meet you too. It has been nothing less of a treat this far." I smile, shaking his hand. "Ok, so. Where do you want to set up?" Ashton asks me. "I prefer here if it is ok. That way we get to see the makeup in the actual filming light and test how it shows on camera easily." I reply and Ashton claps his hands together. "Let's make that happen then. I will bring a table and a mirror for you. Will you need anything else to set up?" He asks me. "A chair and a bowl of water. I can help you carry all that here." "Oh, no. You don't have to. My friend is already here, he will help." Ashton assures me. "Ok then." I smile and move a bit away from the setting so I won't get in the way of Andy setting things up.

"Now, why didn't we move those things downstairs last night?" I hear chatter coming from the stairs. "Be careful here. One dent on the wall and I can kiss my deposit goodbye." "Ashton, you should stop riding my dick like that. A dent is fixable, and I wasn't even grazing the wall." The other man states. They make it down the stairs, caring a folded table and chair. "I am sorry if this was an inconvenience..." I mumble as Ashton unfolds the table. "Nonsense. Just grumps over there complaining for no reason. I am Calum." The man extends one hand. He has a very charming, warm smile, a full head of messy curls, and gives off cool guy vibes as he stands before me with one hand resting in his pocket. "I am (Y/N). Nice to meet you." I smile back at him. "I'll bring the bowl of water. (Y/N), please feel free to start setting up." Ashton announces, pointing at the table. "I better go bring the mirror." Calum says, pointing up the stairs. "Oh, no. You sit here, Hood. I nearly had a heart attack from you carrying a simple chair. I'll bring the mirror." Ashton groans, making Calum roll his eyes at the comment as Andy chuckles. "Ashton is a bit of a grump when stressed." Calum explains as I move to set up the makeup station. "Why is he stressed?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. "It's his first time directing. He wants this to work." "I thought he was a director... He was so confident about this project." I state. "No, he is a drummer. But always had an eye for photography and videography. He has a truly artistic vein in him." Calum chuckles. "Wait... Is this an MV?" I ask. "You didn't know?" He asks me back, looking at me confused. "I knew it was for a video, not for a music one." I mumble. "We are in a band. He is the drummer, I am the bassist, we have Michael and Luke on guitar. We all have vocals. I am surprised you didn't know. I thought our management contacted you." "They did. But I thought it was Ashton's management and he is some director..." "Did I freak you out?" Calum asks. "No, no. I just didn't think he has never done this before. He sounded so confident when we were talking about what he had in mind..." I comment, lining up my brushes. "He has a way of faking it. Can I help you with that?" He asks me, pointing at my makeup case. "I like organizing my items my way. It is easier for me to be more efficient and not spend time fumbling around for my items." I explain and he hums. "If you need any help, I will be right there. Don't hesitate to call for me." He offers, pointing to the set, where Andy is just about turning on the lights.

Calum is the last to sit on my chair since the golden paint would probably irritate him had it stayed so long on his skin. "You know, I actually kinda liked what you did with Michael's eyes." Calum comments as I mix the pigment with a dash of duraline. "Thank you." I chuckle, taking a sample of the mixture. "And it looked good on camera too. It really showed." He continues. "Yeah, I didn't want to do something heavy. He has very bright eyes and I wanted to keep the sparkle. I am glad you liked it." I reply, picking up my application brush. "Will I be able to talk with this on?" He asks me as I apply the first stroke. "Hm, you will be able to talk, it is not like a clay mask, but try not to, because the pigment might crack from the facial movement. That's why Ashton and I decided to leave you last, so you would be able to talk and eat without having to worry about the makeup." I explain. "Oh... And I thought you left me last because I have a difficult face." "First of all, rule of the thumb is that you work on the difficult faces first, so it doesn't end up ruined by the time you shoot. And then, you have a gorgeous face. Very pretty edges, plump and fresh skin, your face is not difficult at all..." I reply, squinting to see if the paint has any streaks this far.

The invite to the Christmas party found me totally unprepared; after the video release and the credit the band gave me for the looks on it, there has been silence between us. I assured myself that this is a typicality, that I have been mistakenly invited to Ashton's Christmas party. But my manager insisted that I have to attend, to network with people from their industry. To my surprise, the party is way less crowded than I expected it; fuck, I wish I had brought my friend along, so I could chat with her and soothe myself from the anxiety; I feel like everyone is wondering who I am and what I am doing here. I pick a drink from the bar and take a quick sip, before the idea of going outside crosses my mind. I try to be as discreet as I can, not cause anyone to stare as I creep my way out. Ashton gasps as I pass by him, smiling brightly as he moves closer. "(Y/N), you made it. I am so glad to see you again. Merry Christmas." He greets me. "Hi, Happy Holidays. I am glad to see you too. Thank you for inviting me." I cheer, smiling at him as well. "Did you just arrive?" He asks me and I nod. "Yes, I have been here for 5 minutes most." "You came a bit early. We are expecting a few more people over... Come, come... Let me introduce you to a few friends. I am afraid only Calum is here now, from the people you have already met. But Michael and Luke are on their way over." Ashton motions for me to follow him. I do, taking a small sip from my drink as we walk closer to his group of friends. "(Y/N), this is my girlfriend Katelin, my friend Roy, my friend Mitchy, and of course, you have already met Calum. Guys, this is (Y/N), the amazing makeup artist that brought my vision into light for the Valentine video." "Hello everyone, it is nice to meet you. Calum, it is lovely to see you again. I think Ashton is really overselling me. All I did was do my job. The video was marvelous, by the way, I never got the chance to tell you in person." I turn to Ashton, who chuckles and brushes me off. "Please, you did an amazing job." He assures me and I nod my head politely. "Thank you. It was a beautiful project and I am glad I got to be part of it." I comment. "Any latest projects? I have been following your work ever since the video, and I got to say I am impressed. The way you do makeup, your videos, your posts, they make me feel warm and calm." Kaitlin comments, making me press my hand against my chest in gratitude. "I did a couple of shoots for Savage x Fenty for their Christmas promos. I got to say, this year has been amazing for me career-wise. I am glad you like my work. I want to keep a very zen vibe around my work." I reply, smiling at the woman. "Oh, there they are. Michael ad his girlfriend have just arrived. I will go call them over really quick." Ashton excuses himself. "So, (Y/N)... Did you come alone to the party?" Roy asks me. "I thought of inviting my friend along, but I ended up coming solo." I state, making the man hum.

I found an excuse after Luke and Michael arrived with their girlfriends to part from the group, and ended up in the small patio outside. It is a nice change from the crowdedness inside, a way to decompress from the awkwardness I felt while I was talking with Ashton's friends. I pick out my phone, checking the texts my friend sent me to ask if I need an out. "There you are." I hear someone call. I turn around, finding Calum walking towards me. I smile, stashing my phone in my purse before shrugging. "Busted." I chuckle. "We were all wondering where you went." He replies, pointing to the inside with his thumb. "I wanted some air. It is very hot inside, I felt a bit suffocated." I explain and Calum nods. "Ashton has been having the heating on almost all day." "Why? It is way too warm for late-December..." I furrow my eyebrows together. "We are from Australia. We are used to extremely warm weather in December, this is like we are staying in a freezer..." Calum explains and I shake my head from side to side. "I would have never guessed you are not from here. You barely have accents." "Yeah, comes with the years. Anyway, how are you liking the party?" He asks me, changing the talk to me. I sigh, my chest puffing from how long the draw of breath has been. "If I am completely honest, I feel a little awkward..." I admit, biting my bottom lip. "Awkward, why?" The tall man asks me, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. I run my hand over my shoulder, soothing the chills rising from the chilliness of the Californian night. "I had this feeling before coming here that Ashton only invited me as a typicality. I wouldn't have come if my manager didn't insist this would be a good opportunity to network further. And I felt as if I was forcing your friends to talk to me because I came alone." I explain and Calum nods. "Well, my friends are actually nice people, and genuinely wanted to get to know you better. Especially Kaitlin, she was so hyped when Ashton told her he was inviting you. And second, Ashton doesn't invite people for typicalities... He wanted you here, he is in awe of the work you did on our video, we all are, to be honest. But I get that being in a place you don't know anyone can be weird. It feels like you don't have a safety net." "Exactly. If I had my friend over, I could just pull her over and chat with her. But now I feel a little exposed." I sigh, rolling my eyes at how stupid this sounds. "Well, I am here. If you feel uncomfortable at any moment, just pull me over and chat with me." He offers. "Why are you doing this?" I ask him, earning a shrug from him. "I don't know. I just... I feel how you are feeling. I don't like it when I don't have a safety net with me." He explains, making me smile sympathetically. "You seem very easygoing, I cannot imagine you being in my shoes." "It comes with experience in this industry, you learn to mask everything. But if I am being honest, it is torture, always having to look so at ease." He states. I run my hands over my arms even harder, trying to warm up a little. I curse myself for not bringing a coat... "Are you cold?" He asks me. I nod my head. "I don't have a coat to offer you... Let's get in. It is way warmer..." He chuckles softly. "I like talking with you. I wish we could stay here..." I sigh in disappointment; he makes it seem easy talking to someone I barely know, and being inside at the party just seems so hard right now. "Don't worry, I know a corner in the house we can continue this conversation..." He lets me walk in first, but once inside he is the one to show the way and push through the crowd of attendees.

We make our way to the kitchen, which is surprisingly empty, despite the food on the marble countertop. Calum grabs a platter, offering me a slider before taking one for himself. "The good thing about Aston's parties is that there is always plenty of food. Which mostly goes untouched." "Why?" "No one really eats in LA..." He sighs, placing the platter on the counter before hopping to sit on top of it. "This is sad..." I stuff the mini-burger in my mouth, leaning against the countertop opposite of Calum "Are you doing anything on Christmas day?" He asks me. "Not really. It will be a lonely Christmas." "How come?" "Well, it is the first year that I have accomplished all my goals and I want to celebrate it in peace. And my family can be... quite loud..." I reply, shrugging my shoulders. "I get it..." "What about you? How are you spending your Christmas?" "Kinda like you... I usually visit my family or they visit me for the holidays, but this year it's none of it. There is always next year." He shrugs, but I can see the sadness on his face. "I am sorry for that. You are spending Christmas alone?" I ask, putting my hand on top of his sympathetically. "Yeah, but it is fine. I'll be fine." "Well, you are welcome at my house tomorrow for lunch. There will be food, drinks, desserts. Let's not be alone on Christmas Day." I offer, smiling at the man who looks at me with a newly-found sparkle. "Really?" He asks me. "Of course... That is if you feel comfortable coming." "Why are you doing this?" He asks me, furrowing his eyebrows softly. "Safety Net." I shrug, smiling at him.

I rush to open the door the second time my doorbell rings, knowing that behind it can be only my guest for the day. Calum appears behind the door, holding a pot of a beautiful red plant. "Hi, Merry Christmas..." I greet him, moving from the door to let him in. "Merry Christmas. Thank you for inviting me today. I didn't have enough time to get you a gift, and the lady in the flower shop told me this is the most popular Christmas plant, so here." "You didn't have to bring anything. But thank you, it is lovely. What's its name?" I ask, taking the pot as he passes it to me. "I don't know. You should name it. But Reddie sounds like a fitting name." He replies. I burst into laughter, pressing my hand to my mouth to stop myself from snorting. "I meant how is the plant called..." I manage to say. Calum groans and his face morphs into an awkward expression. "You must think I am a dumbass..." He throws his head back, looking at the ceiling before pressing the bridge of his nose. "No, it was just a miscommunication... I'll image search it later. Come on, I have made a light snack in the kitchen for us while we wait for the main to be ready." I motion him to follow me, walking ahead to the kitchen. "You have a lovely house." He comments as he takes a seat on the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Thanks. I pretty much renovated it myself. You should have seen the place when I first moved in." I sigh, remembering the dumpster my house was when I purchased it. "Do you have pictures?" He asks me. "Yeah, I also have a video on my channel if you'd like to see the before and after." I offer, picking up my phone. "Please, I am curious about it." I open the app, quickly searching for my video before handing the device to Calum. While he is watching the video, I plate the snacks and take a quick look at the main course in the oven. "Oh, wow... I can't believe this used to be what this place looked like. And you did it by yourself?" He asks me, handing me my phone back. "Pretty much. I wanted this place to be my dream home. Of course, the place had a good foundation, so I didn't need to intervene, but the remodeling and decoration were pretty much my doing." "It must have taken you a lot of time and money to do that..." "Well, it did take time, but I was able to turn this project into a series of videos for my youtube and monetize it from ads." "It is incredible. You are quite good at this, I should hire you to do mine..." He chuckles softly. "Thank you. So, would you like some wine with the snacks? I have white and red." I ask him. "Red is fine. Seriously, you should consider doing this professionally. You have a great talent." "I don't think it would work." "Why? Your house is the best advertisement." "I mean... It was my dream house. I have been imagining it and planning it for as long as I can remember. I don't think it would be the same, doing this for someone else." I explain, reaching for the glasses in my cabinet. "I guess you are right." "So, I have prepared a few canapes to pair with our wine. And I have made roast chicken with a side of stuffing. And for dessert, I bought this amazing Sticky Toffee Truffle. I hope you like the menu." I list, handing him a glass of wine. "It sounds lovely. The fact that you even invited me is enough. What would you have cooked if I hadn't come?" He asks me. "Pretty much the same, then I would eat leftovers until New Year's day." I giggle, clinging my glass with his. "Thank you again for inviting me." "I hope next year you spend Christmas with your family, the way you like it." I smile at him, taking a sip from my wine.

My phone rings, startling me awake from my mid-day nap. I grab it from the coffee table, rubbing my eyes to wake myself up. "Hello?" I ask as I pick it up. "Hi, (Y/N)... It's Calum." "Hey, Calum. What's up?" I ask, stretching my body as I stand up from the couch. "Are you ok? You sound a bit weird..." "I just woke up. I am fine." "Oh shit... I am sorry I woke you up." "It is fine, don't worry. What's up?" "I wanted to invite you to join me at a New Year's Day party I am going to. Well, starts New Year's Eve, but you get it." "Oh, that is lovely. But I already got plans. I am sorry. Raincheck?" "Do you really have plans or you are afraid you are not going to have a safety net?" He asks me with a soft chuckle. "No, I really have plans. My friend is throwing this fancy dinner party for New Year's Eve. Thank you for inviting me, though. I love that you thought of me." I coo, smiling to myself as I hear him chuckle. "How are you spending New Year's Day?" He asks me. "Same as I would have spent Christmas Day if you hadn't come over." "Then you should come over with me. Ashton is hosting a lunch, and I would love if you were my plus one." "I don't want to impose..." "No, no, you are very welcome. I am sure Ashton will be delighted." "If you are doing this to repay me for Christmas day..." "I am doing this because I like your company, and I want you on the New Year's table. Now, do you want me to come pick you up?" He asks me. His tone sounds overconfident, which leaves me no room to dispute him; either way, I have nothing better to do on New Year's Day. "I can come over by myself. Thank you for inviting me, I am sure it will be lovely." "You are very welcome. See you next year I guess." He cheers, causing me to giggle softly. "See you next year, Calum." I have this stupid smirk on my face as I hang up the phone, which I honestly cannot explain. I lean my head against the back of my couch, thinking of what I should wear for lunch.

(Calum's POV) "Are you sure you don't mind (Y/N) coming over today?" I ask Ashton as I help him set the table. "For the millionth time, I don't. I am happy to have her over. You two seem to get along really well." He states, cocking an eyebrow at me. "Yeah, she is a great person, very talented, very passionate, very kind." "Yeah, yeah... She is all that. And then some..." Ashton chuckles. "What do you mean?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows together as I look for an explanation. "I mean that it is obvious that you like her." "What? No." I scoff. "Come on, dude. You kept looking over at her during the shoot, then you disappeared from my party to hang out with her, you spend Christmas day with her, then you invite her to the party you didn't even want to go to, and now you invite her over to spend New Year's day with us. You keep finding excuses to see her, it is adorable." He looks at me with a bright glance, making me sigh. "Well..." "Well, what? As far as I know, she is single, right?" He asks. "Yeah, she is... You know she is trans, right?" I ask him, looking at my hands as I fidget with my thumbs. "I know. She never kept it a secret." "I mean... I don't know. Fuck, Ashton, this is frustrating. I don't know what to do." I admit, sighing deeply. He stays quiet for a moment. "Look, man... She is a gorgeous woman, there is obvious chemistry between you two. You really like her, I think she does too. I don't know why you are holding back from admitting it, or what mental boundary you are having, but you have to take a step back and deal with your feelings and thoughts. There is not much advice I can give you, but I can tell you the more you try to bury it, the worse it will get." He shrugs his shoulders, making me nod at him. I pick up a pair of glasses, placing them by the plates.

"Look who I found outside..." KayKay cheers as she unlocks the door and enters the house, accompanied by (Y/N). "What were you doing outside?" Ashton asks, walking towards her with open arms. "I was about to ring the bell. Happy New Year." (Y/N) cheers, hugging Ashton while she smiles. "Happy New Year. I hope 2019 brings you all the best." Ashton replies, letting go of her. "I brought some wine and a dessert. I got chocolate eclairs... Get it?" She laughs softly, handing the bags to Ashton, who laughs, throwing his head back. "Of course. You didn't have to bring anything, but thank you. Calum, would you like to show our guest where to put the things she brought?" Ashton turns to me. I sigh and roll my eyes at him; he could not have been more obvious. "Sure. Come on, (Y/N)." I smile at her, motioning to follow me. I take her to the kitchen, where she places the bags on top of the island. "Happy New Year, Calum. We didn't have the chance to wish each other." (Y/N) states, smiling at me. "Yeah, we didn't. Happy New Year." I hug her; she smells amazing, I cannot help but take in her scent. "Thank you for inviting me over. I really don't know if I wanted to be alone today." She mumbles. "You are very welcome. You are gorgeous today." I compliment her, taking a step back to let her image sink in. "Thank you. I didn't know what the dress code was for the day." She laughs softly, making her whole face light up. "It is fine, you look perfect." I reply, picking up the bottle of wine to put it in the fridge along with the box of chocolate eclairs. "Thank you. You don't look bad yourself either..." "Well, thank you very much. How was the dinner party last night?" I ask her, leaning against the countertop. "It was fine, there was a lot of food, we watched the fireworks and then I slept over at my friend's. It was nothing unusual. How was the party?" "I didn't go." I shrug. "You didn't? Why?" "I spent the Eve here. I stayed the night and I am going home after lunch." I explain and she hums. "At least you weren't alone. Did you have a good time?" She asks me, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she relaxes against the counter. "I did. Nights at Ashton's place are always great." "Are you two planning to join us? We are nearly starting..." Ashton announces as he enters the kitchen. "Can I help with anything?" (Y/N) asks, moving from the way to let Ashton take the food out of the oven. "No, no... Just go wash up and take a seat at the table. Calum, will you show her to the bathroom, please?" Ashton winks at me. All I do is nod my head, gesturing for (Y/N) to follow me.

"The food was delicious. I didn't have you as much of a cook..." (Y/N) states as we all help clear the table. "Oh, you didn't? Calum, tell her about my glorious meals." Ashton elbows me playfully. "He is a freaking masterchef, there is no use in lying..." I reply, causing Ashton to smirk triumphantly. "I had to feed all those morons, they would have been dead of starvation if it wasn't for me feeding them." Ashton says cockily. "So, you are like the mother of the group... Nice." "(Y/N), would you like some coffee with your dessert?" Kaitlin asks her, and (Y/N) shakes her head no. "I actually was thinking that I imposed way too long on you and that I should actually call an Uber to go home." (Y/N) replies, making Ashton gasp. "Imposed? No, sweetheart, we want you here. You are always welcome." Ashton assures her, taking his most comforting look. "Uber? You didn't drive here?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. "Yeah, I took an Uber here. I don't like driving after drinking, and I am also kinda tired from last night, so I didn't want to have to drive today." (Y/N) explains. "Stay for coffee and dessert, I will drive you home after." I almost beg her; just a little more time with her. "Are you sure? I would hate to get you out of your way." She looks at me as if she is trying to reach inside me for an honest answer. "Please, stay." I plead, smiling at her a half-smirk.

(Y/N's POV) "Can I ask you a question?" Calum asks as he drives towards my house. "Of course." "It is a bit personal..." He informs me, pausing to see if my grant is still valid. "It is fine. Just ask me whatever you want." I state, but I am actually anxious about what he is going to ask me. "How come you are single?" He asks, turning his head to look at me. I shrug my shoulders, biting the inside of my cheek. "Well, I guess it is hard for me to keep a relationship. I don't know. I haven't met anyone that was worth my time until now." I reply, dragging in a deep breath. "Why is it hard to keep a relationship?" He asks me. "You know I am trans, right?" "I do. What does it have to do with anything?" He asks me, earning a chuckle from me. "Not everyone thinks like you, Calum. So many of the guys I have gone out with freaked out the moment they found out about it. Full disclosure from the first date, so there is rarely ever a second. If they decide that dating a trans woman does not minimize their masculinity, then they start treating me like shit. They think I am lucky to even be with them. And this is where I leave them. I am a proud woman. I deserve the world, and nothing else. If being with someone means I have to put up with abusive behavior, then I'd rather be alone." I explain, turning to study his reaction. He nods his head, pressing his lips together without turning to look at me. "Why are you asking me?" I ask, staring at him and hoping he feels my gaze to shift his attention. "Well... I don't know. I guess... Fuck. I really like you. Like, really really like you, and I was just... It has nothing to do with you. In my previous relationships, I ended up hurting myself, and when I realized I started getting feelings for you, I started looking for reasons to discourage myself from admitting. I was really hoping your answer would give me some..." He chuckles, turning to look at me. I feel my face heating up and my hands are trembling as I hear him let the words out. "Me being..." I begin but he interrupts me. "It is not. I like you, you are a gorgeous woman, a very smart, passionate person, and I liked you since the moment I met you." He replies. "I don't know what to say, Cal..." "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to let it out of my chest. What you do with this information is up to you. I owe it to myself, to be honest..." He replies, focusing back on the road.

Sooner than I realized, Calum pulls up to the front of my house. I turn to look at him, finding him already staring. "Look, Calum... I really like you. Really, really like you. But I cannot risk getting hurt. I need you to take some time, think about what you want. I cannot have you looking for reasons to get out, none of us deserve that. So, take your time, talk with yourself, and if you decide that you want to..." "I did enough thinking. I like you. Once I am in, I am never out, unless you want me out. I don't have more thinking to do, I know what I want." "Are you sure about that? Think of the impact, think of what your friends are going to say..." "Screw what anyone is going to say, (Y/N)." He groans; I feel my chest heaving, warmth running down my spine. "Well, in that case... Are you going to kiss me?" I smile at him, making him chuckle. "Isn't it well overdue?" He asks, undoing his seatbelt as he leans in for a kiss.

He goes slow, taking his time to set the pace while his hands rest softly against my cheek. I am at a loss of breath; his lips are so soft and warm, and I just adore the way his fingers are slowly tracing my cheek. I cannot help but sigh into the kiss, earning a smile from Calum as he deepens it. I am without breath as we part, a need to hide my face with my hands punching me in my gut suddenly. "You have very soft lips..." Calum mumbles, smiling at me as he leans his head against the headrest of his seat. "Do I?" I ask with a grin. "Mm... And you taste so sweet..." He brushes his thumb over my cheek, causing me to bite the inside of my cheek as I feel heat crawling up my face. "Wanna come inside for a drink?" I ask him. "I do. But I have to say no. But what about you come over to my place tomorrow night? Let's have a proper first date..." "A date?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow as I look at him. "A date..." He smiles softly, leaning in for one last peck.

And with the blink of an eye, Calum and I are a thing. Calum gets in his bedroom, with just a towel fixed on his hips. I lower my glasses, letting the book I am reading on my lap. "You should really get new books..." I state, making Calum furrow his eyebrows together. "Why?" He asks me, crawling onto the bed and sitting by my side. He leaves a soft peck on my shoulder, making me giggle from the tickling his stubble causes to my skin. "I have read all of the books beside your bed..." I sigh and he gasps. "Already?" "You keep me waiting for way too long, I have to entertain myself somehow..." I pout my bottom lip, earning a coo from Calum. "I should be ashamed of keeping you waiting..." He mumbles, cupping my chin as he looks at me with his infamous gaze. "You should..." I mumble, seconds before I am found on my back, pinned on the mattress with Calum hovering over me. The brotherhood necklace sways in front of my face as Calum supports his weight on his elbows. He leans in to kiss me, placing his hands on my hips to make sure I won't squirm underneath him. "You smell so good." I moan as his lips leave mine and focus on my neck. "I do?" He asks hazily. "So good." I whine, tangling my fingers into his hair. "You are going to pull my hair, baby?" He teases me; the soft silver locks have given place to a short buzz, much to my dismay. He knows I love pulling on his hair when he is inside me, he knows I love to stroke it slowly as we cuddle on the couch, and now he is taking revenge on me, depriving me of the thing I love. Of course, he says he only cut it because bleaching has made his hair weak... "I would if you weren't bald..." I jab at him, earning a laugh. "You are in love with a bald man..." He kisses the spot connecting my jaw to my ear, causing my skin to erupt in goosebumps. "Who told you I am in love with you..." I ask, but the breakage of my voice disallows me to mask the playfulness. "I know, you hate me..." He shakes his head, resting his hand on my thigh. I move the dangling necklace so it rests on his back before my hand grazes his face softly.

Before anything, Calum's phone rings, making Calum sigh in frustration. "I'll be right back..." He huffs, moving to the bedside table to pick up his phone, but only leaving it back on the furniture once he takes a look at the caller ID. "Aren't you going to answer that?" I ask and he shakes his head no. "It's the management. They have been busting my balls all week..." "About what?" I ask him. "We have this red carpet event. The guys want to bring their girlfriends, and management has been trying to get me to agree to go to the event with this new artist they have signed... You know, stupid PR stunt." He huffs, plopping back on top of the bed. I press my lips together, staring at him with tension as I try to understand why the fuck he didn't even think of suggesting I go to the show with him. I get up from the bed, grabbing my clothes from the armchair across from it. "What are you doing?" He asks as I slip off my nightgown. "I am getting dressed." I reply, keeping straight eye contact with him. "Why?" He asks in confusion. "I am going home." "I thought you were staying the night..." "I was. But now I want to go home." "Why?" He asks, knitting his eyebrows together as he tries to understand what is going on. "Because I don't want to be here anymore." "Did I do something?" "Yes, you did..." "What did I do?" He asks, standing up from the bed to walk closer to me. He is confused but seems to be really caring right now. "Are you ashamed of me, Cal?" I ask, slipping into my jeans. "What are you talking about?" "I am going to ask you again. Are you ashamed of me? Are you ashamed you are dating a trans woman?" I ask him, staring straight into his eyes. "Of course not. What has gotten into you?" He asks me, taking a step forward and placing his hand on my shoulder. I dodge him, moving aside to distance myself from him. "(Y/N), what is the matter?" "I don't know, Calum. Look at your friends... They want to bring their girlfriends to the event. I wonder why you haven't thought of doing the same." I finish dressing up, pushing him aside to walk out of the room.

A day goes by and I have no news from Calum, not a call, nor a text. I lie to myself, saying that it is fine, but it really isn't. I cannot bear the thought I spent six months of my life falling for someone who is not proud to be with me. I take my grilled cheese out of my grill, cutting it in half before hopping on top of one of the stools. Before I could take a bite my doorbell rings. I know it is Calum, I just know it. I leave my plate on the island, standing up and walking to my door. I take a quick look at the entrance camera, just to make sure it is him. I buzz him in, not taking my eyes off the screen as he gets inside. Calum is behind my door in record time, knocking on it softly. I waste no time opening the door, gesturing for him to get in. "Hi." I greet him. "Hi. Is it a bad time?" He asks me, scratching the back of his neck. "No, I was having dinner. Come on..." I motion towards the kitchen, followed by a quiet Calum. "Can I offer you something? I made myself a grilled cheese, would you like to split?" I ask him, taking a sit on my stool. Calum does the same, sitting across from me. "No, thank you. You forgot your phone yesterday, you left in a rush." He reaches inside his pocket, taking my phone out and sliding it across the marble top. "Thanks. I didn't realize I forgot my phone." "I tried calling you in the morning, of course, no answer, and I thought you were mad at me." He rests his hands on the counter, looking at me as if he is trying to read me. "You weren't wrong. I was mad." I reply, looking at my plate, suddenly losing my appetite. "Are you still?" He asks me, his slight lisp coming out; he only gets that when he is upset, or stressed, so I get why it appeared now. "Kinda. I am more disappointed than angry, to be honest." I admit. Calum sighs, running his hand over his face. "We had a meeting today with management. I told them I will not be having anyone else but my girlfriend at the show. That's it if you want to come with me." "What if I am not coming with you?" "Then I will be going alone. I don't want anyone else with me." He smiles softly reaching to stroke his thumb over my hand. "I guess you will be going alone, then." I reply; I am careful with my voice, not raising it a bit. This isn't an angry response, nor a payback. "(Y/N), please..." "No, Calum. I don't want you taking me along just because I asked for it. Nor as a compromise. You didn't want me with you in the first place, so I am not coming." I reply. Calum looks at the ceiling, taking in a deep breath. "There is a reason I didn't..." He begins. "Yeah, I know. Calum, I am a proud woman. I told you that from the very beginning. I want someone who will be proud of me. I want someone who will love me enough to take me places. I offered you time when you told me you like me. And you said you don't need any. Now what, Calum?" "The reason I didn't think of taking you with me is because I don't want people messing up with my personal life. There is a reason why there are only rumors about my exes. I don't want people to lose sight of what I am doing with my music. I don't want to minimize what we have to some yellow-page article about cheating rumors." "Why are you inviting me now, then?" "Because I love you. And I know this is important for you. And I want to make you happy." I stay quiet for a moment, letting everything sink in. "Look, the show is in 2 weeks. Take your time, no pressure." He breaks the silence, picking the invitation out of his pocket. "I don't want us to break up over this..." "I don't want us either." I sigh. "I think we need a break..." I admit, looking at my fingers to avoid Calum's gaze. "Are you breaking up with me?" He asks me, sounding shocked over my suggestion. "No. Of course not, Calum. I am leaving for New York in a couple of days, for the Savage x Fenty and the Fenty Beauty promo shoot. I think we should use the time apart to reflect. Again, I am giving you time to think about what our relationship means to you, and how being with me affects you. But this time, I am taking time myself to do the same." I explain, placing my hand on top of his. "I don't have anything to think of." He says softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "You do. And I do too. And this trip is what we need after this..." I assure him. "(Y/N), I love you..." He looks me in the eye, softening his face. "I know, Calum. And I love you too." "A break doesn't mean we are breaking up..." Calum utters, nodding his head as he finally gives up. "It doesn't." I nod my head, smiling at him; my smile is not a happy one, it is covered with my sorrow, a sorrow that comes from knowing that nothing will be the same between us. Calum stands up, walking around the island slowly. He leans down, planting a kiss on my forehead. "I will see you after New York..." He mutters and I nod. "Yeah." "We can still call each other during the break, right?" He asks me. "Of course. This isn't goodbye, Calum." "This isn't goodbye." He repeats.

(Calum's POV) "Any news from (Y/N)?" Ashton asks as he helps me with the cufflinks of the shirt. "She is fine, working lots in New York. We haven't spoken in days." I sigh, tilting my head back. "When is she coming home?" He asks me. "I wish I knew. I feel like I am losing her, Ash... Stupid, stupid me..." I press my palm against my head, a headache already forming between my eyes. "No, Calum. I am sure everything will be alright. When she gets back home, you will sit down and have a talk, and you will figure things out. But you should really stop worrying for now. It is doing you no good..." He pats my back softly. "I guess you are right." I sigh, picking up my jacket. "Are you sure you will be fine walking the carpet alone? You are always welcome to join me and Kaitlin." He offers but I shake my head. "I told (Y/N) I wouldn't be walking the carpet with anyone else but her, and I plan on keeping that promise." I assure him.

I am the last of my group to walk the carpet, leaving the couples to have the spotlight on them for a while. My stomach is tied in a knot and I cannot help but feel alone tonight. I hoped, I truly hoped she would show up to my hotel room, knock on my door and tell me she is here, but it never happened, so the emptiness inside me grows. I smile at the cameras flashing, waving politely towards a couple of people trying to get my attention. I move forward, hoping this walk of flashes is nearing an end soon. I cannot wait to go inside and scowl all I want, without fear of it being captured by the stupid press at the event. I feel a tap on my shoulder, making me turn around in a snap. It's her. She is here. She is looking at me as she waits to see my response, but I am frozen on my spot, my heartbeat ringing in my ears. "Hi." She says, her glare changing to a worried one as it has taken me way too long to respond. I hug her to my chest, tightening my arms around her to fully feel her against my body. "What are you doing here?" I ask, resting my chin on top of her head. "You said you would walk the carpet alone if I didn't come. I didn't want you being through this alone, I know you are not very comfortable with red carpet events." She mumbles, tilting her head back to look at me. "I missed you." "I missed you too." She admits, smiling at me. My headache is gone and my body feels warm as I look at her, flesh and bones before me. "Please, don't leave me alone again..." I plead and she nods her head. "I am not planning to." She assures me. I place my arm on her waist, pulling her to my body before I lean in to kiss her. I have missed her taste and her soft lips, and the way she feels against me, and how softly she kisses me back. Oh, I have missed her. "There will be pictures of us kissing everywhere..." She giggles as we part, hiding her face in her hands. "I guess there will be." I plant a kiss on her forehead, placing my hand on the small of her back to guide her further down the red carpet.

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homemadepastasauce · 4 years ago

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A Wild Night

Genre: Smut and hot trash

Pairing: Female Reader X Doyoung, Jimin, Jackson, And Mark

Warning: Not something my mom and I are proud of, Y/N as usual has their legs open 24/7

Alternate Title: Girl goes to party and fricks guys she's barely on a first name basis with.

Author's Note: My first ff! If I made any mistakes no I didn't. If you got any request, request them, I write for anime and kpop ( don't take my account seriously though).

Disclaimer: Y/N doesn't rights, and I feel as the president of the Y/N Sucks Hate Club it's my duty to do this. Also, don't do drugs.

Ok, let me set the scene. You were the guest to one of the biggest party in all of LA, and boy were you excited. You may or may not have slept your way in with the bouncer, but that's a story for a different time. So, you get into the club and the music, weed, and vodka hit. You love that smell. It's powerful. You look around and see unhealthy of amount of hotties. This was your dream come true. First things first you hit the dance floor with a load of people touching up on each other. The DJ dude was crazy too, he was playing all of your favorite tunes. Vibes, absolute vibes.

For like thirty minutes you were busting your moves, like a complete dance machine. You were lost in space, but then you felt two strong arms grab onto your hips from behind.

The stranger whispered in your ear, his breath smelling of slight booze, "You have got to be the most good looking stranger I've seen in a long time." This statement filled your raging ego with pride, it brought a smirk to your face.

"So what website did you get that one from?"

He chuckled, "So, that's how your gonna act, huh? I can't say I don't like it. I'm Doyoung."

"Y/N"

"Say, would care to have a drink with me, Y/N?"

"Sure, but you better not waste my time with this small talk."

"Oh, I promise there won't be a lot of talking when I'm through with you," he grabs your hand and walks you over to the bar.

"Hey, bartender, let me get two shots of Grey Goose with a couple squeezes of lime," you say with a big smile.

"How'd you know I like vodka and why lime?"

"Lucky guess, and lime gives a little kick to it," you replied.

Actually if you were being honestly, it wasn't a lucky guess, you always ordered that. He's just easily impressed. You could tell in no time this guy would be banging your brains out. Drinks are easy baits to get what you want, everyone always seems to fall for it.

💫⭐Quick starter recipe for success by Y/N, an established piece of trash⭐💫

Regular vodka = boring and basic (you didn't even try, easily forgettable)

Vodka with a lil spice to it = a squeeze of lemon? lime? orange? (heck even a slash of henny is a positive plus plus)

"So what do you want and hope to achieve out of this, Y/N?" The bartender sets down your glasses and walks away.

"I don't know. You were the one that came up to me, I'm just going with the flow." You were messing with him, of course, both of you only wanted one thing and one thing alone.

"You're a strange person Y/N," he leaned in close to your ear, "but I know what you want."

You chugged the spicy shot down your throat, "I don't know what you're talking about. If I wanted something from you, I wouldn't said, "I want something from you."

You took out the eight dollars from your purse and set them down on the counter. Doyoung looked confused, almost like he wanted to say something but didn't. You got up from the barstool and made your way to the back bathroom, much quieter than the bar or dance floor. But before you could close the door, Doyoung snapped out of his trans and walked towards you.

"Hey!" He held the door with a strong grip, "You can't just leave, I wasn't done with you." Hmm, you weren't done with him either. You smiled knowing you already had him wrapped around your little finger.

"You're an idiot."

"I'm a what?"

"An idiot," you said confidently, "Get inside and lock the door." He did as he was told, no questions asked with an annoyed look on his face. And at that moment you knew he was about to rearrange your guts.

He started to unbuckle his belt, "You know when I first spoke to you, you seemed interesting enough, but you're just like the rest." The rest? Huh? Anyway, his words didn't faze you, it was the big mount in his unbuckled pants that did. You placed your purse to the side and sat on the sink counter. He does nothing but stare at your body as you slowly take your undies off and throw them on the dirty bathroom floor. Nasty.

"Are you just gonna stand there or are you going get to work before I do," you threaten. He smiles at your bluff and comes close to your face with a sinful look.

"You want this, huh? Know that I'm leaving as soon as I finish."

Ok? Are you supposed to be sad?

He takes his at LEAST nine incher inside you and starts to go ham. No warm-up, no tease. Nope, just right inside.

"You have quite an ego for someone this dry," he teases. His words enraged you, like how dare he say such a crude thing to a whore like you? But for some reason, it just made you even wetter.

Maybe because he looked so scrumptious? Or maybe you couldn't hear it due to all the moans you were letting out? But dear holy moly he was making you feel so good. He was using his fingers on your grandma-looking nub and pounding into you Micheal Jackson style. Holy crap it felt amazing, not the best you've had, but amazing nonetheless.

"Mmmmh," he moaned, "I'm gonna... I'm gonna..."

And before he could say another word, he came inside.

Doyoung cleaned himself up, zipped his pants, and left. Leaving you a complete mess that didn't even get to finish. It was fun while it lasted you had to say. But what a selfish prick, he was hot too. You cleaned up his and yours mess, and put back on the underwear you threw onto the dirty public restroom floor. Yeah, you weren't the smartest book on the shelf.

How’d he do, though? He was definitely good, but not spectacular and a little stiff. Your rating? 7/10.

After your little "bathroom break" with Doyoung, you decided you wanted to have something... not Doyoung. You walk up to the second floor filled with stoners, and people who clearly wanted to jump off a cliff. No problem though, stoners were chill and you could pretty much go up to them and ask if they wanted you to swallow their kids, so that you did. There was a guy smoking the devil’s lettuce, lounging on the couch with two others waiting their turn. Hot dang they looked yummy.

“So what are you boys up to?” You say with a smile.

“Isn’t it obvious?” The boy on the middle said with aggression, “We're blowing one up.”

“Chill Jimin, she's just trying to make conversation,” he said passing it on to him. He rolled his eyes and started to smok in silence.

The one on the left looked up at you and said, “So which one of us do you want?”

“How do you know I want only one, what if I want all three of you?”

“Like at a time?”

The guy in the left began to speak again with smoke coming out of his mouth, “No dumbass, look at her, she wants all three filled. Clearly.” He winked. He was just gorgeous, ready for an adventure.

“Jimin, was it?”

“Don’t be so condescending, Jackson said my name not even two minutes ago, don’t get smart with me.”

“Jimin, enough, pass it on to Mark and be nice while you’re at it.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

You rolled your eyes and pointed to a secluded corner out of public view you’ve been eyeing since you came to the floor, “See over there is where you guys are gonna meet me if you wanna have a good time. If not, you’re gonna take the biggest L of the night.”

The guy on the left got up and pasted it back on to the one in middle, aka, Jimin. He scoffed, “Seriously Mark?”

“Ah, yeah, this is a once in a lifetime thing.”

“True that,” the other got up made his way to the corner, following you.

“How are you guys are being so careless right now?! She probably has like five STDs... and three STIs, and... probably a kidney stone, too!”

You could hear him, but payed no mind. It’s not your fault his friends had good taste, even if there's a ninety eight percent chance they'd get chlamydia.

You got on your knees and started to feel up on their pants. You could feel them getting hard as you unzipped both of their pants. Chile, they were packing full on heat. You started to lick and slurp them up, using your hands, too. There moans made you want to have their babies. Not literally, you weren't that crazy, but figuratively.

“Keep going.”

“Yeah, don’t stop until I say so.”

You did what they asked like a pro, but before you could deepthroat one of those precious horse pps, you feel someone separate your legs and roam there only source of pride straight into your rectum. In and out. In and out. Gosh darn it felt good. You're not stopping. One of them go into the your vag and the other says in your mouth.

“FDUR, I’m close keep going!!!!”

Already? I mean all of you were close but still.

And not even a half a second you felt three liters of pancake mix fill up your holes. Mhmm, now that’s a job done right. They pulled out and left you right there, not even caring to look back. But it was fine cause you got what you wanted in the end. 10/10

What a night, huh?

#kpop edits #kpop #bts fanfic #kpop smut #bts layouts #bts jimn #jimin x reader #nct 127 #got7 fanfic #kpop angst #doyoung #kpop aesthetic #kpop imagines #kpop senarios #kpop headcanons #bts angst #nct smut

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angst-king · 4 years ago

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Breaking through it pt 1

(this is a kiribaku Martial arts AU with trans kirishima. I do not own any canon bnha characters or the show)

Kirishima was excited yet nervous at the same time, he was finally getting back into martial arts again. Kirishima or Ijima was his first name, Kirishima hated his first name. Being transgender, his mother did not accept this at all and practically ignored, and forced her own ideas and visions of Ijima onto him. The only compromise was Kirishima didn't have to be called by his first name by other people.

Riding in the back seat sitting next to Mina who was happy for him. "So Kiri you excited to continue MA again hun?" Asked Mrs Ashido who was in the driver's seat, Kirishima nods with a wide smile. "I really am, thank you so much Mrs Ashido." "You're welcome honey" Mrs Ashido worked near by the martial arts place, at a coffee shop a few steps away.

Mrs Kirishima Ito, huffed and fussed, crossing her arms and legs. Making Mina and Kirishima roll their eyes before the woman started up again. "Are you sure you want to do this Ij? Why can't you just go back to the other place?" "Because I'm not wasting my time to be harassed by women who I don't trust, hurt me on purpose, and are just toxic in general." He stated firmly not wanting to add detail since he knew that he didn't want to continue the conversation. "Well you are a young women, they're the same age as you and they were just messing with you." When they arrived Mrs Ashido heads to her own work while Mina, Ito and Kirishima head into the martial arts studio. Kirishima had a bag that held his brown belt, water bottle, phone, and anything else he'd need. Walking inside all Ito sees are boys on the mat, wrestling around, doing forms, punching and kicking and just doing their work they were obviously younger while the older boys were on the side stretching. "Ij I don't like this" Kirishima ignored her and looked around curiously until a tall blond with a black gi and a black belt was in view. "Ah she must be a teacher" Ito smiles while approaching the person, tapping them from behind. "excuse me ma'am-" She froze when they turned around, seeing the small mustache they had on. "Ah hello Ma'am" "o-oh s-sorry sir, are you the teacher?" Obviously embarrassed of herself for mis-gendering the person who could potentially be her daughter's teacher. "Well I am one of them yes, also don't worry I've been called ma'am before. I do not care what pronouns my students or parents use." Confused Ito blinked but just spoke again.

"Well my daughter is new here, I don't know who I spoke to over the phone but I'm Mrs Kirishima." "Ah I believe we spoke on the phone, yes I'm Hizashi Yamada." They shook hands with sweet smiles, then Ito looks to Ijima and gestures him to come over. Ijima quickly comes over "Hello" "Hi-" "this is my daughter Ijima Kirishima, but. she likes to be called her last name for some reason?" Hizashi got a strange vibe from the woman but pushed it aside to remain professional.

"Ah alright, so you've done martial arts before?" "y-yes sir" Nods Kirishima who tells Hizashi that he has his belt and what he'd previously trained on. Hizashi's sixth sense was turning on as he noticed how Kirishima acted around Ito so he wanted to try something. "Mrs Kirishima, I would like to talk to your child so I can know what skills they'd need to be caught up on, and what they're comfortable with as a martial artist so i know how we can merge them into the class. I also need to get them a uniform." Ito was about to protest but Mina took her away to the lobby area. Leaving Ijima and Hizashi alone to talk. With a huff Hizashi looks down at a timid Ijima "Kiddo, would you like to explain why you switched studios?" Kirishima bites his lip and softly spoke up. "i-I w-went to an all girl's martial arts place and I didn't connect with them very well. The girls bullied me and were just toxic and I couldn't do it..I didn't feel like I could be myself there at all." Nodding Hizashi puts a hand on his shoulder "I know how you feel bud." With a raised brow Hizashi only chuckled at the younger's expression. "I'm genderfluid I'm also pansexual, and I was never comfortable with myself and those who I was forced to interact with because I couldn't be myself...Now that I'm here I don't have to worry about it as much. I go as Mic Sensei since its a genderfluid nickname I'd come up with...now what are your preferred pronouns?"

Kirishima was honestly surprised to meet a teacher who was like him in a way. He hesitantly answered in case his mother could hear. "H-he/him, but can go by they/them as well. I haven't really given myself a name I want so i just go by my last name." "ah alright, well-" Hizashi smiles as he hears the door open and a small yawn. "Good he's here, just in time." Hizashi mutters, Ijima looked perplexed then turning to see a tall male. With ash blonde hair that resembled a Pomeranian's hair style, he had ruby red eyes that matched Kirishima's, he had nonchalant look on his face while he sipped on his coffee. "Oi Katsuki!" Called out Mic Sensei, looking over, the ash blonde raised a brow setting down his coffee. Mic Sensei gestured for him to over which he did, arms folded and bag slung over his shoulder. "Yes sensei?" "Katsuki this is Kirishima, they're a new student who transferred from a different studio. Kirishima this is Bakugou Katsuki. I figured that since i knew you'd come and you seem like a good guy, that you'd be able to mentor Kirishima." Katsuki peered down at Kirishima who was being a bit shy, Katsuki did has casual. "Tch, sure thing Sensei, want me to get him a uniform?" "Great and yes, also show Kirishima to the changing room after he finds a cubby to put his shoes and bag in." With this, Katsuki turns to go towards the cubbies which allows Kirishima to follow.

Taking out his brown belt and slipping off his shoes and socks, Ito comes over before they can go. "Ij who is this?" Kirishima jumped a little and stuttered "m-my mentor" Ito just had a look of worry "why is your mentor a boy?" Katsuki sneered and grumbled "why does is matter? Martial arts is a mix gendered sport, don't get any ideas." He says while grabbing Kirishima by the wrist and then taking him away from Ito and to a cabinet to get a uniform. Taking him to the changing area after finding a black gi with red sleeve and black pants. Ijima take the uniform and goes into the changing room. Taking off his shorts and leaving on his top, that was just a tank top that hid his bust held by a sports bra, and his hips that were covered by bandage like ribbons. Ijima was self-conscious about his body and his dysphoria was awful at times so he used doubling up on sports bras and tying up his curves to make himself feel better. So when he put the gi on, it felt just right. It was big enough to hide his chest making it flat, and the belt made it even better as did the pants. Coming out while tying some of his hair up so it was out of the way. Bakugou looks to Kirishima while leaning against the wall, he stood up all and motioned him over. "Come on lets go, our class is next." Bowing onto the mat the just as other students came on.

They were soon called to gather up at the front, line up by belt rank and stand at attention. Kirishima rushed to his spot in line and followed suit, then the main teacher Shota Aizawa came onto the mat with his partner Hizashi not far behind. Mr Aizawa took front and center; "Good morning students, now lets bow in and we'll get this going...Attention. bow. face the flags..meditation." the students followed his commands quietly, kirishima did his best to copy. It was ten seconds before they were permitted to leave their meditation stance. "Alright, I've been told that we have a new student." Kirishima shyly raised his hand, he was then beckoned forwards by Mic Sensei saying "step forwards lil listener" he was then given permission to introduce himself. "I-I'm Ijima Kirishima but would prefer to be called Kirishima instead of Ijima." "I see you already have your brown belt Kirishima, so you have experience prior to coming here I take it?" "y-yes sir, I went to a different place but because I didn't enjoy it I took a break and decided to come here." "Well then Kirishima welcome to UA black belt academy or some just say UA academy.. Now that we've got introductions out of the way, five laps behind Tenya please." The group chants "yes sir" before taking off while Hizashi and Shota talk about their plans to teach class. When their laps were finished the students were asked to stretch out together while Hizashi walked around. The duo came up with the conclusion to ask the students what they'd like to work on see what they could work into class for them. Right now Bakugou was stretching with Kirishima who was practically in the splits. "jeez Kirishima you're really flexible" Complimented Midoriya "Thank you, I've been working on my upper body while my lower seemed more natural." Kirishima moved over and does a press hand stand into a scorpion like position which had the class staring. "Dang Kirishima I thought we were stretching?" Chuckled Kaminari, Kirishima blushed "This stretches my back out for me." Bakugou couldn't help but stare either even as the other came down and stretched out some more till. Mic Sensei came over with a wide smile "so lil listeners what do you think we should do today?" Quickly Denki blurts out "Mits Mits!" "oh alright you guys haven't done that in a while. Anything else?" Uraraka raised her hand "yes?" "conditioning?" "ooh that'd be great would you also like to do grappling and sparring?" The group nods at the suggestion of their assistant teacher, Kirishima seemed curious at to what the plans were. "Alright I will tell Mr Aizawa, why don't you kiddos get your gloves on." Standing up they respond with a 'yes sensei' and scurry off. Kirishima goes over to his bag after bowing off his mom comes over while he's looking for his gloves. "Ij what are you guys doing?" "uh I believe something like boxing I guess, uh I don't know what conditioning is, but we're sparring and grappling?" "w-wait what's grappling?" "Its like sparring but a little more close and in your face and on the ground."

Kirishima couldn't find them, and just frowned. "Oi" Kirishima looked up to see Bakugou holding out a pair or orange and black MMA mits. "here you can barrow my spares" blushing Kirishima gratefully took them with a stupid smile on his face. "thank you B-Bakugou" "yeah whatever, come on I'll help you out when we line up." Before Ito can question anything, Bakugou takes Ijima to the group that was split into two groups. Sensei mic had Izuku, Ochako, and Denki while Mr Aizawa had Tenya, Hitoshi, Tsu, Shoto, and Hanta.

"Katsuki and Kirishima you two will be in my line." Informed the long haired blond who had on big black and white mits that looked like Panda paws. Hurrying over to Hizashi's line, Bakugou was in front of Kirishima. Watching from where he stood, Kirishima looked amazed at how fast and how hard they were hitting the thick mits the teachers wear. When it was Bakugou's turn Hizashi tells Bakugou to slow down so Kirishima can see it better. "This is the back fist pattern watch carefully bud." Earning a nod in acknowledgement Bakugou started the pattern. After Bakugou finished it was kirishima's turn, he got in his fighting stance and tried the pattern with the help of Bakugou. "Back fist, punch, parry.."Kirishima did as the mentor said and waited for the next set of instructions. "Back fist, check-" "wait sorry what's a check?" Kirishima was a bit happy that his instructor and mentor was patient but was nervous that he'd just asked a stupid question. "A check is basically a block to protect your head, your temple." Sensei Mic explained showing Kirishima what it looks like, which the red haired one copied. Which led to Mic sending a decent haymaker which was blocked by the check move Kirishima was doing. "Good, we'll add more later, head to the back for me." Kirishima moves out of the way so Izuku can go next. Kirishima was proud of himself for getting his first pattern down, he also like that Sensei mice wasn't hitting so soft. After the mits Mr Aizawa told the kids to get a drink and prepare to do some grappling. Kirishima was about to return the mits to Bakugou until Bakugou tells him "you'll need them the rest of the day trust me" "Ah okay thank you Bakugou" Kirishima went over to drink from his water bottle. "How ya liking it Kiri?" Asked mina "I love it, they seem pretty nice. I've done grappling before at the other place but, I wouldn't call it grappling." Kirishima's eyes sparkled with joy as he looked down at the gloves he wore. It made his hand feel bigger even though they were smaller, he had longer fingers than Bakugou. Coming back onto the mat the teachers started pairing them up.

"Ochako and Asui, Izuku and Shoto, and Iida and Hitoshi. You will be out first rounds while the others can stretch, you will be shuffled around so don't get comfortable with your partners. If you aren't grappling or sparring for the time being you will be doing conditioning or extra stretching with your partner. So that leaves Kirishima, Katsuki, Hanta, and Denki." So the groups did what they were instructed, Bakugou looked to Kirishima. "Do you know what 'conditioning' is?" Kirishima shook his head so Bakugou went on to explain. "Conditioning is basically teaching you to take a hit, and not be a darn drama queen about." "ah that sounds cool" "So lets get started then, stand in your fighting stance but put your hands over your head and stand tall." Kirishima does as told not exactly knowing that he was in a good view for his mother to see. Bakugou delivered a good round house to his stomach, it wasn't meant to cause any really devastating pain only to toughen him up. It did make Kirishima grunt and grimace and had Ito yelling across the mat. "What the heck are you doing why are you kicking my daughter!?!!" Kirishima was blushing furiously while his mother went off on Bakugou. "Mom I'm fine-" "Boys should not be hitting girls what the heck is wrong with you!?!!" This was more directed to the now irritated blond who just furrowed his brows and folded his arms over his chest. The yelling attracted lots of attention, so Mr Aizawa came over to settle the frantic mother who was trying to tug Kirishima away from Bakugou.

"Ma'am is there a problem?" Started Shota, yanking Ijima into her arms Ito nods "Yes there is, why is my daughter's mentor a boy and why is he hitting her?" Aizawa huffed and explained it to her "Martial arts is a mix gendered sport, Katsuki over here is experienced and has good control when it comes to his technique. The fact that he's a male doesn't deter anything. Although martial arts is a mix gendered sports it is male dominated but we do have other girls and women here. I take it that Sensei Mic knew Katsuki's skills would be good for your child to learn from. The two are doing a thing called condition which will give Kirishima experience in how to react when being hit. It teaches them how to react and to toughen up a little. I believe that Katsuki knows his limits and would never purposely hurt Kirishima." "I..I just don't feel comfortable with this, why can't any of the other girls train with her?" Her voice was almost like a whining child, it annoyed the raven haired male but he didn't express that. "Because they are not the same rank, Kirishima will be able to train with them of course this is only temporary. I understand your concern on boys hitting girls but, boys hit girls outside in the real world. Girls hit boys in the real world. We are here to teach the students how to protect themselves and others, how to react to such scenarios, and how to pass on from them. We are teaching them real life skills and what real life will be like. Real life is not girls getting special treatment just because they are girls that is not how its going to work here." Kirishima manages to slip from his mother's grip and quietly, Bakugou asked

"you okay?" "Yes just wasn't used to being hit like that, sorry." Mr Aizawa and Mina were able to calm Ito down, she just pouted and marched back to her seat. Folding her arms over her chest and then she went on her phone. So with that both Kirishima and Bakugou went back to conditioning and were soon sparring. Which was something Kirishima seemed to be pretty good at. He had a great amount of flexibility which allowed him to easily place high kicks, though since he was shorter than Bakugou it was a little hard to get close. When they were given a small break, Mr Aizawa gave the students pointers. "If you are shorter than your opponent, get in close. You want to try and cut them off. If the taller one is cut off you have the advantage to do as you please with in the sport's legality. Remember stay light on your feet and do not stay in one place that makes you an easy target no matter your size. Also never drop your hands that's just letting your opponent win. Got it, any questions?" The students were quiet and only shook their heads no, Mr Aizawa then went over the positives. "You all have good forms and great technique which I'm proud of, you're all taking your hits well too. Keep it up and try out the critiques." After speaking those words, Hizashi smiles to his partner patting him on the shoulder as a way of quiet encouragement. Finally practice was coming to an end, after grappling the teachers gave their students another stretch break to allow their bodies a cool down. Which certainly did help and felt really good for Kirishima, today was rough but honestly he liked it apart from his mother's input. Bowing out, Kirishima came over to a certain red eyed blonde who was packing his bag. Tapping his shoulder he bowed, holding out the gloves Bakugou had let him barrow. "Thank you for your help Bakugou, also thank you for the gloves." Bakugou couldn't help but blush and said in a low tone "you don't have to bow to me dude." This had both of them blushing but more so Kirishima who now felt embarrassed "S-sorry force of habit I guess" Bakugou took his gloves with a "you're welcome, also what days will you be coming in?" "Uh I honestly don't know, I'll pick up a schedule and see." Bakugou then got out his phone "well let me have your number" this with out much context only made them both flustered, Bakugou realized his mistake when he noticed the confusion on Ijima's face.

"S-so I can know whether we're in the same class or whatever" He finished while awkwardly scratching the back of his neck, Kirishima nods and goes to grab his phone from his bag. The two soon trade numbers and now Ijima is off to thank his instructors. Approaching the long haired couple who were cleaning up he bowed. "thank you both so much, I enjoyed class so much" Both smile to the student; "You're quite welcome Kirishima, we're glad you liked your first day here." started Sensei Mic, while Aizawa's stern face softened to his new student. "We hope you're able to continue to train here." With that, Kirishima went over to put on his shoes and grab his bag, he looks to Mina and Ito. "I'm ready to go" Mina smiles looking up at him Ito sighed "alright then lets go"

#trans kirishima #kiribaku #bakushima #bnha martial arts AU

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hillbillyoracle · 4 years ago

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Rebooting My Practice

This is going to be pretty rambly, but I always get a lot out of these posts when other people make them so I wanted to make one too.

I hit a point earlier this year, as I started to really see what all astrology could be, when I knew I was going to need to overhaul pretty much my entire practice. For the last decade, I've focused on divination; on doing activities that sharpen my intuition, following up and checking predictions, tracking cards and results to better understand the connection, etc. I did this primarily in the service of my main deity, the Morrigan.

I still work with her, but I'm in a lurch as to how to continue my work with her. I have yet to quite figure out how to balance her general distaste for shrines (with me at least) and deepening my relationship with her in the absence of local folks to read for as I've relied on for years (thanks COVID). I've been praying the Catholic Rosary lately as a way to deepen my relationship with the Virgin Mary and the Saint I'm petitioning lately and I feel her kind of peering in when I do that so I might have to design one for her. I have a feeling whatever I come up with will likely be in a free zine rather than a blog post at some point.

But where that left me was in this weird abyss, where the only really solid things in my practice were like 3 deities (The Morrigan, Hermes, Yinepu/Anubis) I worked with regularly and tarot cards. I think for plenty of people that's fine but I wanted something deeper and more effective. It was around the time that I was rethinking everything that I stumbled on to this post about a magical routine that absolutely enthralled me. It took me another month and ultimately moving house altogether to even begin to piece something together that would set me on the road to something like this. I knew I was not ready but I finally had a picture in my mind something to work towards. Like rehabilitating after an injury, sometimes you've got to do half as much as you think you can before you really take off.

So I wanted to take some time and talk about the way my practice is changing and what the new pillars are slowly emerging to be.

Planetary Petitions

While I don't have the Orphic Hymns for each of the 7 classical planets memorized yet as per the post, I started by doing planetary prayers more days than I do not do them. Thanks to my truly godawful downstairs neighbor at the new place, who's floor shaking door slams throughout the whole night have netted me an average of 3 hours a night, I'm usually up for the first planetary hour of a given day. Hey maybe it's a sign, a big universal push to show the fuck up.

I'm also incredibly lucky I loaded up on some planetary incenses right before COVID when a local store had a huge sale. It's proved well worth it as above all I try to get the planetary incense right, though I did have to default to a Frankincense one when we were first moving in. I slowly feel like I'm beginning to understand the planetary spirits better but only slightly. I completely see why memorizing the prayer is recommended and I do feel that's standing in the way of me being closer with them.

I have not noticed a huge difference when I petition them truthfully. I get the vibe that it takes time to build up that relationship. Though I'm open to input here - for those who do planetary petitions, what made them click for you?

Saint Veneration + Christian Magic

One thing I put off for many years, though I knew it was coming, was working with more Saints. I knew it'd likely involve having to dip back into Christianity to make it work and I was completely right.

As my partner began revisiting her Catholic roots earlier this year, it got me curious about things like the Rosary, the Chaplet, and Novenas. I was raised charismatic fundamentalist Christian as a child and such things were explicitly forbidden. I remember getting a long talking to when I'd taken to reading about Sainte Jeanne d'Arc. So they aren't loaded for me the way they are for others, but they’re situated in this fundamentally familiar context that makes them feel like meeting a cool branch of the family you didn't realize existed.

I'm finishing a Novena to a Saint I've been praying to in the next few weeks. I am admittedly not as close with her as I'd like to be. I'm trying to figure out how to move forward with her as I'd really like to have her in my life. I will probably reach back out to Sainte Jeanne d'Arc as she's always felt familiar and been good to me. I also keep her prayer card and medallion in my wallet and have for many years so maybe there's more to build from there. It is my goal to have about 3 saints/Christian figures I can call on when I need help. I'm thinking of approaching Mary Undoer of Knots next but I'm worried it'll follow the same path as this current saint.

My partner and I bought Rosaries back in May and I absolutely love it. I've been saying at least a 5 decade rosary for most days but I'm regularly getting in a 15 decade rosary. I really love it and am totally convinced of the beauty and effectiveness of the system. I've come to understand Christianity in a totally different light through praying it regularly.

So that is on going and evolving and I'd love to hear from people who've cultivated close relationships with a Saint or Angel.

Ancestors

One thing that working with Christianity again has made easier is praying to ancestors. I've often felt a bit at odds with my own ancestors as they were not the most supportive of trans and queer people (and I am both of those) but in coming back to Christianity has given me and my ancestors a common language almost. As long as my disagreement with them over my attraction and gender identity is rooted in the Bible, it's been easier to work with them.

It's very early days with ancestor work. I'm slowly working my way through Ancestral Healing by Daniel Foor. But I'm feeling very heartened by it. I saw a post on twitter somewhere, if I can find it again I'll link it, where someone said that the way they started working with their ancestors was just thanking them everyday. And thanking my ancestors is complicated for me, my family like most have their own issues that also go passed on, but thanking them for what I am glad they gave me has been really beneficial.

My partner requested some divination from me when some of her medical issues were starting to get worse and part of the reading involved a strong push for her to investigate her father's side of the family. She got really into genealogy in the process and she's been teaching me a lot. Through that I actually learned my great grandfather's name for the first time - yes that's how out of touch I am with my own family history. But I was thankful to find out.

Through her own research, my partner found out that that branch of her family likely isn't German but actually German speaking Hungarians which was a revelation. She's in the process of confirming but it got us talking about foods and identity and language and how to honor our ancestors more regularly. We're going to try making a nice dinner on Full Moons with dishes that are tied to branches of our family as a way to trying to cultivate a closer relationship with them. I'll definitely update on that as it evolves.

Conclusion + Some Thoughts on Disability

I'm definitely still in the early days of all of this. It's not become quite the foundation I hope it will be yet. I still need to figure out how to continue and deepen my deity relationships. I still need to attempt some different types of spellwork I've been meaning to. And while I didn't talk about it much here, astrology has been playing a huge role in my practice but mostly in a passive way. More of that divination process I talked about in the beginning where I make predictions based on the charts I'm seeing and then double check my work.

I’ve been doing all this while in the thick of a bad flare. Moving plus lack of sleep as meant my disability has been weighing so much harder on me lately. Normally when I’m feeling well enough, I kind of roll my eyes at a lot of the “spoonie witchcraft” posts I see, but for some reason with this flare they just started making me angry and I’m still trying to parse why. I think I just feel like so many are rooted in this performative idea of “feeling” witchy rather than actually helping me with my disability. They aren’t usually focused on practices that either actually treat the pain I’m in or bring my spirit real comfort.

I’m really hoping to put together a post or possibly a zine that does provide what I always wanted those posts to be. Honestly these pillars here have proven accessible even as I’ve been in some of the worst pain I’ve been in in years. So for any fellow disabled folks who just aren’t getting much out of those posts, I really recommend starting with these. Recite the Orphic Hymn for the day in the corresponding hour. Pray the Rosary or an adapted set of prayers for Pagan prayer beads. Don’t have much money for those? Look up how to make knotted rosaries and adapt the method. Pray to your ancestors and give them some water and a bit to eat. These are doable for a lot of folks even when they’re in bad shape, especially if you take your time with it. Might not make you “feel witchy” but they do some fucking work, that’s for sure. But idk, those are just my thoughts on it.

So it hasn't all fallen into place yet but I wanted to share what developing a practice looks like in medias res. It's messy, somethings work better than others, but all and all I'm just glad to finally be making meaningful progress again.

#personal practice #witchblr #Ancestor Veneration #planetary magic #rosary

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dorkylittleweirdo · 4 years ago

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crazy shit that happened during high school

freshman year:

my favorite teacher (pe coach) ended up being a pedophile. it’s kinda scary to think about bc like,, that was my favorite teacher and i trusted him and if he tried anything with me i don’t think i would’ve stopped him and just yikes. but yeah, it was a whole thing. once the school found out they got the police involved and he fled the state. they got him in the end but i mean,, i spent a lot of time in the secretary’s office crying about it bc i really trusted that dude and i was distraught over it. that might’ve been where my trust issues started??? fun stuff

my school shut down. like i mean,, bc it was a charter school and we had to get the charter renewed. but the board at my school wasn’t using their money the way they were supposed to. it was a whole thing, like the principal left that school year bc he knew what was happening, couldn’t stop them from doing it, and didn’t want to be part of it. so they had a lot of meetings that us kids were allowed to go to so we could see what was happening and all that. i only went to one and it was A Time bc the lady who was recording everything passed tf out and of course nobody was a doctor and my pipsqueak thirteen year old ass went “i know what to do” bc i Did so i had to help her which was a trip in and of itself. but anyways, the school’s charter got denied, and everyone had to transfer, but the district promised that we could go to any school we wanted, not just the one we would have to go to by zip code

sophomore year:

i ended up going to a private christian school. big fucking mistake. absolute disaster. nothing really happened that was crazy by their standards, but it was for me

so they have a house system. think of harry potter, it’s EXACTLY like that. we have points, we have competitions, we have all that extra stuff. it was such a time, like i don’t,, i don’t even know how to explain how fucking weird that shit was

i came out in the middle of class. the principal’s daughter was our sub and she goes “okay so everyone is gonna tell us something that nobody knows about them” so when it was my turn i go “so it’s not a secret and y’all should know this but clearly y’all don’t: i’m not straight”. silence. dead silence. we could hear the class next to us it was so quiet. some girl whispers “i knew it”. another girl leans over and whispers to my friend “i’m so sorry”. principal’s daughter gives me the most threatening, condescending smile i’ve ever seen and goes “thanks for sharing”. i had to come out to my mom that same day bc i told me friends and they panicked on my behalf bc when people found out that they were gay, the principal told their parents. and i was Not about to be outed by the principal. my mom has since told me that the principal never contacted her about it so i came out for nothing but i mean i really like being out so we’re good

so instead of prom, cult school has this thing called “the ball”. sophomores, juniors, and seniors are allowed to go bc there’s less than fifty people per grade so if sophomores don’t come, there’s not enough people. so i went bc my friends were all going and i was like “yeah why not might as well”. three dance lessons. three fucking dance lessons for this stupid ball that i didn’t dance once at. i literally had three panic attacks in the span of an hour at the second one, and then i had swim practice right after. fucking exhausted. felt like i ran five marathons by the time i got home. the last lesson i didn’t do any dancing, just vibed with my friend in the corner. so at the actual ball, same friend and i vibed at the tables the whole time. we went to the bathroom for like an hour and took mirror selfies and tried to make our asses look bigger bc we’re Like That

SO AFTER THE BALL, there was apparently a massive party and there was alcohol and stuff. so my friends and i were blissfully unaware bc nobody liked us bc who tf likes the school sinners. so we walked to get ice cream after in our fucking ballgowns and suits looking like All That. so the principal thought that it was one of us who hosted the party and we were like “??? what party?”. literally almost got in trouble bc the principal thought we were LYING. i told my mom and she takes No Shit, so when the principal called her demanding to know if i went to/hosted the party, she marched her ass down to the school and was like “i know y’all have something against mexicans and people who are different from y’all, but that’s no reason to blame my daughter for something that your so called “perfect” students did”. my mom got Heated, roasted the fuck out of the principal, then LEFT. principal never fucked with my mom after that

so there was a fire like across the street from the school. the fd told us to evacuate, but noooooo the school was like “god will protect us” i’m like “okay but i’m gay and apparently your god hates that so i think we’re gonna Perish”. the fucking POWER went out and they STILL wouldn’t let us go. my mom called to sign me out so i could go wherever the fuck i wanted in the school until my friend’s dad came to pick us up bc she couldn’t get there bc of the fire. so i vibed next door to my friends’ class and i was like “heeeeey god’s trying to kill the gays” and we laughed about that until my gay ass got saved lmaoooo

okay so this is the funniest memory i have. in chemistry once, our teacher took us outside and started digging a lil hole next to the school. and keep in mind, my chem teacher used to be a hardcore atheist druggie, like fucking meth and coke and shit. took a theology course and converted. so he’s really sweet and nice but he’s also Slightly mad scientist vibes. so anyways, he puts something in this little hole, lights it on fire. i forgot why he did it, but i was standing back with him and one of the exchange students and the three of us watch in Horror as the rest of the class makes a circle around the fire and start doing some weird dance and saying something. it wasn’t like a chant, idk what to call it, but they were like counting like “and one, and two, and three, and four” and then the dance would get more intense and they’d get louder. so eventually they were screaming and going apeshit and i looked at my teacher and he’s just,, watching them do this. i’m like “and i’m satan, huh?”. like these kids really trying to summon the devil but i’m the bad one bc i like girls

junior year:

so technically this was during the summer but i’m putting it here. they have like a house party after the school year ends. i made cookies. apparently they “looked weird” so nobody ate them, two of my soon to be teachers kept insulting them. i called my mom to pick me up, took my cookies with me, got back in the car in tears. had to have a whole conversation with the principal and those two teachers so they could apologize bc i wanted to leave the school after that. dw tho, i took my cookies to the guards at my summer camp and they appreciated the hell out of them bc they were Very Good Cookies

so my ap bio teacher was an enabler. i was his favorite bc i wasn’t a religious nut and it was very obvious that i believed in science and not whatever the hell this cult was doing with their creationist bs. also he was a parasitologist and i’m super into parasitology so he had fun talking about it to someone who both understood and was extremely interested in the topic. i rolled up to class one day like “hey so i’m gonna buy hissing cockroaches from amazon, if my parents find out and don’t let me keep them do you want them??” and he’s like “yeah”. i brought them to class a few times and everyone Hated it but my teacher was like ayyyyy. and everyone thought he was either and atheist or agnostic, so when some girl asked how he thought mary conceived jesus to see what he said, he looked at me like “y’all hear somethin/hel p” and i go “parthenogenesis” and he Went With It, talking about how it was theoretically possible in humans but we ignored the fact that the baby would’ve been a girl bc the class is dumb none of them have ever heard of parthenogenesis before jesus is the true trans icon we all need

my art teacher was my favorite and she knows that i’m gay. she’s the only teacher from my school that i’m still in contact with. so every big project we did, i made it gay. and i knew, and my friends knew, and she knew, but the rest of the class had no idea. i’m like presenting my project and the class would get sus and they’re like “so are those two really good friends” and i’m like “so she has a rainbow heart on her choker and she has a lesbian symbol on her shirt”. the class was still confused and my friend yells “they’re LESBIANS”. it was iconic

my brit lit teacher was bi. she never said it, but i know she was. always talked about how much she hated men, then was like “women are very very good”. no way this woman was straight. so we read dracula and it’s got that Subtext, so one time i leaned over to my friend bc he sat next to me and i go “the Homoerotic Subtext”. and i didn’t realize that the teacher was right in front of me until she tapped my desk and goes “it gets better”, told me a page number that i flipped to, and it was Even More Gay and i was like 😏. also she assigned me a gay poet for my poetry project and i talked about that for my whole presentation in front of the class and it was the biggest paragraph in my essay and i got 100% on it even tho i choked at the beginning. also i mentioned in passing that i liked sappho and she goes “ooh i love sappho” i’m like “ma’am please leave this cult and get you a gf”

senior year:

i left the cult finally. went to the one school i actually liked. i made friends who actually like me and they were patient and they were amazing and i love them all very much even if i’ll never tell them. my classmates were great, v friendly, i had a great time. however,

so many fires. school got cancelled like five times bc of how bad the fires were

the school shooting. i don’t think i need to go further into that, it’s pretty self explanatory

covid. again, don’t need to go further into that, v self explanatory

#school #high school #school stories

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langdonarchives · 5 years ago

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SEVEN DEVILS

Summary: Michael’s boyfriend get mis-gendered whilst heading out of school and Michael is all there to see it happen.

Note/warning: if you are trans and the thought of being mis-gendered really bothers you i suggest you not read this.

Vibe check: idk i mean he’s standing up for you so uwu

Word count:

——

Finally, my last class of the day and the weekend is here. i’m really looking forward to seeing Michael, i miss my boy wonder so dearly. as the professor started dismissing the class after giving us a whole chapter to read as usual, i was just grateful i’d be going to my boyfriend’s house this weekend.

As i headed out of college for the day of course i had to run into the person i’d rather not see. this classmate always likes to make my day harder. i rolled my eyes to try and not even think about it but i bumped into them on the way out of the lobby.

“tsk tsk.. thought you were done playing dress up. pathetic.”

god.. i hated his guts so much. all he ever did was say ignorant shit to me. my classmate started tugging on my jacket and bow tie.

“you know, i don’t even understand why you try to be a boy, you’ll NEVER be a real boy.”

“just.. fuck off.”

my eyes watered as i started to get upset and frustrated. i pushed his hand away from my jacket and speed walked towards the car.”

I noticed Michael was standing outside of the car waiting for me but i didn’t think he saw the situation go down. My mood was supposed to be happy since it’s Friday but honestly that classmate just bummed me out.

“(Y/N)-” I brushed passed Michael a little not enough to move him- but just to go and try to get to the car door.

Michael grabbed my shoulders and stood me still from moving any further. He saw the tears in my eyes.

“He can’t talk to you like that.” “Wait here.”

Michael’s voice was stern and riled up. He then let go and stormed up to the school to point out the classmate in the crowd of people who had picked on his boyfriend.

“Michael- Michael.. Wait!” You growled under your breath because you knew exactly how angry Michael can get. it’s not that he had anger issues, but he just.. doesn’t respond to certain things well.

Michael spotted the rude teenager and grabbed him by his shirt and pushed him against the wall.

“Hey!! What the hell-” the rude classmate was choked up against the brick school building.

“Who do you think you are? Talking to him like that. hmm?”

Michael’s hand got tighter around the boys throat, while camera sounds went off behind him, he didn’t even care. His duty at the moment was to protect his boyfriend and that’s all.

“Excuse me- Excuse me, move!!” you scattered in the crowd of students to go get Michael before authority’s come.

“Please, let go!” You took all the strength you had and tried to get Michael off of him. “Michael stop!” you screamed so loud that Michael eventually did let go. he didn’t like seeing you upset.

the boy fell to his knees gasping for air, while Michael’s fists were clenched in anger.

“My boyfriend is clearly more of a man than you’ll ever be.”

Michael’s demon face is never shown unless he has to- let’s just say i don’t think my classmate is going to bother me anymore.

“Lets GO. come on Michael.” you sighed and grabbed his wrist and pushed through the crowd to get back to the parking lot. Michael’s words still lingered in your head and you smiled slyly to yourself not making it noticeable.

I Didn’t apologize to the classmate for Michael’s actions, There was no reason to apologize to someone that mean.

Michael and I never said a word to each other until we left the school and stopped at our first stop light.

“Um..” my voice shook under my breath. “Thank you Michael…”

I put my hand over-top of his laying on the gearshift and squeezed it.

Michael had laughed. “I know i went overboard but.. your welcome. And don’t listen to that ignorant kid. You’re the best man ever. I love you.”

#michael langdon #ahs michael #michael langdon x reader #transgender #transmen #michael langdon ff #michael langdon imagine #american horror story #ahs fanfic #american horror story fanfiction #hawthorne michael langdon #langdonarchivesimagines

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venus-says · 5 years ago

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Kamen Rider Gaim Episodes 01-20

Also known as Kame Rider Fruits Salad edition.

It's time for more past rider action as I start my fifth season in this series. I honestly don't know how I'm still doing this, but I'm glad that despite my schedule problems I'm sticking with this journey because this season is a good one.

I was very excited to see this, not just because my experience with Wizard was very positive, but also because I've seen images and gifs being retweeted in my timeline and everything seemed so ridiculous I couldn't wait to experience all of that by myself, and I gotta say, they delivered! (different from that other season I saw people being so passionate about but that I disliked with passion)

And this is something funny because I have quite a lot of things about Gaim that bug me and that should make me dislike it, but even still I can't help but like this season a lot. Gaim has a certain magnetic charm to it that I don't know how to explain, putting in terms of the show I'm like the Inves and Gaim is the evil fruit of the forest taking control of my brain. This show is so entertaining that if I was able to sit down for 72 hours without being interrupted and not needing to do my physical necessities I'd definitely spend those hours watching Gaim, I'm not joking, I had to force myself to stop watching it a couple of times because if it was up to me I would sit down in front of my laptop and leave after the show ended.

And I feel like a huge part of what makes me so interested on Gaim is this mystery feel it has to it, I wanna know where all of this is gonna go so it makes me more interested on watching more and more to see the secrets being revealed and all of that. Add a whole lot of great cliffhangers and the fact this series doesn't seem to follow the "2 episodes, 1 story" format and you make for a show that has a very good pace and that makes it feel like no episode here is filler or unnecessary.

But this is a double-edged sword because while the mystery vibe is great I feel like the show held a whole lot of information at the beginning which made it hard for me to understand this world, and understand these characters. Why is dance so important here? Why do these dance teams exist and why are they fighting each other? When did those lock seeds start appearing? And why are they in the kids' hands? What's Kouta's relation to this dance crew? Why is there a ranking for dancing crews? Why is all of that so important for these characters I'm gonna follow? I watched 20 episodes, still, I feel like I don't know any of the characters very well because neither of them had a very good base for me to have a feel of who these characters are. Which makes it harder for me to connect because I don't feel what the characters are feeling, my experience with Gaim is a very "external" one, I'm watching it and I'm enjoying it a lot but I'm not emotionally invested, I think that's the best way to put it.

Speaking of characters, another thing that I feel like it makes it harder to know all characters is the fact that THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM. No joke, I don't know any of their names and the only Rider name I have memorized is Gaim because of obvious reasons, the way I have to connect the characters to their faces is by their main fruit, which solves things for the characters that are Riders but the side characters that don't they literally have no name for me, any given name you see in this post is because I opened the wikia and went to look for the names. This is a very crowded season.

Kouta as a protagonist gives me a lot of mixed feelings. I overall like him, but that are times where the show makes me want to hate him, but I guess that's just how teenagers so the show has perfectly hit the nail on him. I like how he starts as a good kid trying to get a job to help support his family, but then he becomes a rider and that gets up to his head and he becomes an overconfident prick just to have his ass kicked down and throw him on a downward spiral where he "refuses the call" to then have a moment where he slowly rises again, and even in this escalation he gets doubtful in quite a lot of times showing that he's a very interesting character. I only wish we knew more basic stuff about him, or at least have glimpses of his past, to know where did he came from and be able to have an estimative of where he's going to.

Sadly the other characters aren't anywhere near being this interesting. Kaito is just the hot-blooded rival, they decided to give him a backstory about he being anger at Yggdrasil for taking over the city but I think it only made him look more like just a teen with anger management issues rather than a compelling character. Mitchy had potential with the whole thing of being a kid from a rich family that has no freedom in regards to his future, but he more or less always followed the things I expected him to do as a character in his position so it was just a little boring. Near the end of this batch, Zack became a rider too but he's such a background character I have nothing to say about him. Junouchi and Hase lacked in personality because they were sold as a duo and they barely did anything on their own, Hase at least got more interesting things going for him since he eventually ate a fruit and died as an Inves what made him interesting where Junouchi just ended up being the keychain of another rider... and oh boy, Oren... it's kinda hard to talk about him. I'm not sure if "gay coded" is the correct term for him, probably not, but the thing is he's very problematic. First, because the show kinda sits in with Kouta's point of view and since the first meeting Kouta already showed signs that he didn't like him and that it was weird for him to see a flamboyant man with feminine trajects and he was always negative towards him. Then the show makes him be a Team Rocket villain where his character gets downed to a single goal and objective and every time he gets up on the screen is for him to be made fun of and it just makes me wanna hit my head on the wall. I know I shouldn't be surprised since last season they had the manager of Hungry Donuts that was also an LGBTQ+ character being used for comedic purposes, but at least in there, there was no portrayal of any character of the cast being uncomfortable or hostile against her so she was never seen with bad eyes or had any negative association to her (they also had a trans actor play her role which is an added bonus even though she wasn't out yet during the time of filming).

The show also has a "second set" of riders that are the adults on Yggdrasil's side. I feel like I don't have a lot to say about them because they were in the backseat a lot during the season and only started to have a more active role on screen now so I still don't have an opinion on them. Takatora seems bland, Sid was the one of this team that had more screen time but I also don't have an opinion on him, he's just like a drug dealer there's nothing special about him other than he uses one of my favorite fruits in his rider form. Ryoma and Yoko are probably the more interesting characters from this team and I'm really excited to see more of them.

There are more characters of this cast but I don't like any of them all that much so I won't spend more time talking about them, I'll talk briefly about the Riders' designs because this post is already long enough.

To begin with, I think it's a genius idea of mixing fruits with samurais for the main motifs of the riders, it's such a ridiculous, wild, and creative idea I wish I could be friends with whoever imagined this concept. I pretty much like all of the suits, I think the only form I don't like it's the Jimba Lemon one because it's not very aesthetically pleasing, it doesn't match very well with Gaim's basic design so it doesn't look as good to me, but I also don't like the giant watermelon suit, probably because the CGI looks weird, but I still don't like it. I love how the belts are very simple, it's a good contrast with the overly designed suits, I wish they had kept that simplicity for the genesis drivers as well. If I had to choose my favorite designs they are Gaim's strawberry, Baron's mango, Zangetsu's melon, Duke's lemon, and Marika's peach forms.

Before I wrap up this post I have two final complaints about this whole thing. The first one is the fact I don't know what's the message the show is trying to convey. Right at the beginning, I thought it was about growing up, but that was never touched again so I'm not sure if it's that, you know? The show feels a little lost in this aspect. It is a nice story, don't get me wrong, but all stories so far had a theme and I couldn't really find the theme on this one yet. I hope that after the reveal that the forest is like a parasite they'll bring up discussions that'll highlight what this is story is about.

My other problem is how against adults the show is. Maybe if I had watched this in my teenage years I'd be more in synchrony with the point of view of adults are liars and they're a problem, but now as an adult, I know that things aren't so simple. While I agree that using kids to gather data for their experiments wasn't the right course of action, I don't like how the protagonists are always so keen on being against adults and everything. Maybe they're like this because of how Japanese society is and to them becoming adults is like losing the sense of their own identities so to them adults are really like villains, but I still think that they hit too much on this key and it's kinda hard to watch without rolling my eyes at certain points.

With that being said, I still enjoyed the hell out of this show and I'm very excited to continue. So, what are your thoughts about Gaim, let me know down in the comments. I'll catch up with you folks later.

#Kamen Rider Gaim #kamen rider

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toothmuncher3000 · 6 years ago

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Tips for How to Survive Blood Tests/Self Injections

(From your local trans lad)

CW: Needles, blood, detailed medical stuff. If you’re not cool with that, power on through and scroll past! Have a safe day.

This is just a quick comforting word and bit of advice to anybody who is (like I was) incredibly anxious about blood work, learning how to inject yourself with T or E, and all the various accoutrement!

[disclaimer: I am Canadian and a transmasculine person on T starting April 6, 2019. My experiences aren’t universal and I’m still learning a lot, but this is just some stuff I wish I knew before getting started! This is a very loose guide that will give you a rough idea of what to expect through my own experiences, any nurses/doctors you see for this process will be able to go over the finer details with you.]

Blood Work

1. Don’t look at the needle when getting your blood taken. It’s kind of thick and big. I go so far as closing my eyes.

2. It’s incredibly quick, I had three vials drawn today and it took less than 20 seconds. It hurt less than a stubbed toe or whacking my elbow on something.

3. I’m Canadian, so my session was completely free. All I had to do was show up with my requisition form from my doctor and my BC resident care card. I waited for about 25 minutes because I was just a walk in with no appointment, but you can make appointments if you want. So if you live where I live, hopefully that’s helpful to you! LifeLabs have my back.

4. You can’t eat or drink anything but water for 8 hours before hand. Sorry! My advice: book an appointment early in the day.

5. The process went like this: I went in, hung up my bag, and rolled my sleeve up my arm. The nurse chatted with me for about thirty seconds, I avoided looking at the needle. She wrapped a rubber band around my upper arm, pushed on my inner forearm to locate the vein, and sanitized the area. She asked me to take a deep breath, I closed my eyes, and she put the needle in. To draw three vials took about 20-30 seconds. Then she asked me to take another breath, she pulled the needle out, put a cotton swab and kept pressure for a moment before putting a band-aid. Then I kept pressure for 3 minutes to keep it from bruising, and then I was gone. That’s it!

6. Your anxiety is totally valid. Nobody likes needles, but honestly it’s not that bad at all! It’s a pain in the ass and your arm is gonna be achy for awhile. Avoid lifting heavy things or moving it around too much for like 4 hours after a draw. Just remember that while needles are scary and kinda suck, the actual draw is going to be 50-80% less scary than you think it’s going to be.

T/E Injections

1. In case you worry: no you do not have to do your first injections yourself, you can absolutely get people to help you do it the first few times.

2. I asked my nurse if anybody ever had a needle tip break off inside their body while doing an injection. He said no he has never seen nor heard of that ever happening. BUT worst case scenario and it did happen, it would probably hurt bad but it would be really easy to take it out in the ER.

3. There are a lot of finicky little steps to go through. The nurse will go over them with you in detail. I have yet to do an injection at home (my clinic keeps the vials until you’re ready to take them back) but I’ve done several by myself with supervision. The steps are a little like this:

a) Wash your hands, make sure your area is sanitized.

b) Sanitize the top of the bottle with rubbing alcohol. Give it about 30 seconds to sterilize. While it’s doing that, open up your syringe and the 2 needles but leave them within their packaging to keep them sterile.

c) Screw the needle you use to draw with into place on your syringe (I use an 18 g to draw), be careful not to touch the part where they connect with your fingers to keep it more sterile. Remove the cap with one steady motion.

d) Draw a little bit of air into your needle. The bottle is airtight, so this is a necessary step. Inject the air into the bottle and turn it upside down. My current dose is 0.25 ml (gonna go up soon) so what I do is overdraw my dose and then push the rest back into the bottle until my dose is at where it’s supposed to be. Pull the needle out and draw back so all the medication is in the syringe and none is left in the needle.

e) Put the cap back on the needle, swap out the thicker needle for the thinner one (I use 25 g to inject). Set it aside with the cap still on and prep the area on your body for injection.

f) I personally go for intramuscular on my thigh. For anybody who’s doing that, you need to do what’s called ‘landmarking’, where you essentially divide your thigh into thirds and inject in the middle quadrant about halfway down on the outside of your leg. You don’t want to inject on the top because that’s where the bone is. You should be able to feel the muscle on the outside of your leg when you flex.

g) Sanitize the whole area, larger than you think you’re gonna need, then let it dry for 30 seconds. As you go week to week, you’ll switch back and forth between your left and your right thigh in order to avoid scarring.

h) Uncap your needle. You may notice that there’s what’s called a ‘bevel’ right at the tip of it, where the needle is cut at a slight angle and you can see the hole. You want the bevel to be facing up, since that will allow less pain as you’re injecting. Push the air out of your needle, you may see one little drop of medication beading at the end.

i) Your nurse will help you out your first few times, but when you go to inject yourself try to keep your hand smooth and steady and go quickly. I know it was super weird for me to stick it in, but honestly I find that it hurts way less doing it myself! Put the needle in, then hold the base with one hand to keep it from wiggling and use the other hand to inject. It’s going to be a little ouch as you push the liquid in, especially if it’s a little bit on the thick side.

j) Pull out your needle, recap it and you’re all done! Be sure to dispose of your sharps responsibly.

See what I mean about finicky steps? It’s going to take a little while to get the process, but nurses and doctors are there to help!

4. If you inject any air into your body, you will be okay. It will work its way out. Even if you inject a whole syringe of air into your leg or something it’ll be fine. There’s no cause to panic.

5. It definitely gets easier as you go! Like anything else it’s all about practice and just getting the hang of the motions.

6. My clinic provides free syringes/sharps bins/other supplies, but sometimes you can get prescriptions for supplies so your insurance can cover it!

7. Taking medication on the go? Stealth Bros Co has got you! They carry a range of products for storing/transporting your injection supplies no matter what gender you are, they’re well made and come in a variety of colours. Support queer business owners!

That’s my main advice spiel. I hope that some of that helps you out. I was completely petrified of needles when I was younger and I know that I had a ton of anxiety around it before I got started. Needles aren’t as bad as they seem, you get used to them as time goes on. Take good care of yourselves, loves, and if any of my trans fam has additional advice you may totally add to this post and spread some love!

Good luck, good vibes, and have a wonderful day!

#trans #queer #LGBT+#nonbinary #enby #medical #trans health #queer health #dragon speaks #needles #blood #medication #testosterone #estrogen

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tinyarmyofqueerfolkwrites · 5 years ago

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Thank You, Taylor Swift

So, I’m going to put this under a cut, just given the sensitive nature of the post, and the fact it’s really long.

The very short, trigger free version, is that it’s a love letter to @taylorswift after listening to Lover for what feels like the millionth time and specifically why I relate so much to Soon You’ll Get Better. The part that references cancer, depression, and death is warned about with a clear, visible end. So it won’t just come up on anyone who reads this.

I’m not a big believer in finding romantic love. I’ve seen very little of it in my life, my parents have been fighting for as long as I can remember and that kind of darkness seems to have plagued my life. But that isn’t say I don’t believe it exists. I’m a writer and I have seen my characters fall in love. I have written love of all kinds, from platonic, to familial, to yes, even romantic love. As easy as it is written, it is infinitely harder to find, in my opinion.

I can say I’ve never been romantically in love. And that’s okay for me, for right now. I’m in a dark place in my life, have been for far longer than I sometimes want to think about, but I’m still moving. Part of why I’m still moving is because of my friends, of my chosen family, of the people who have been in my life to love me and to keep me going. That love means a lot to me. And so does this album.

It’s Nice To Have A Friend, as romantic as it ends, reminds me of the first friend I can truly say I could have loved romantically. He was my best friend from the ages of 11 to 17. He meant the entire world to me. We dated, sort of. It was secret and in the background, but he was there when my world first started falling apart. The song itself is sweet and soft and nice. It reminds me of Mary’s Song, which had been one of my favorite songs of the self titled album. Because, above all else, I love hearing about other people in love.

Another song that reminds me of Nick, unfortunately, is Death By A Thousand Cuts. I spent a lot of time wrapped around his memory. Because he disappeared from my life. It was this weird period of my life and it hurt. I ended up losing a lot of people I thought were my friends, so to lose him too was too much. It hurt less because I loved him romantically and more because I he was my world in a lot of ways I didn’t know you could love another person.

I Forgot That You Existed is a song that now makes me think of him, and a few other “friends” that abandoned me at various points in my life. The people I’ve now forgiven and forgotten about enough to be able to remember the good times, and the bad, without getting hurt. It’s just indifference.

Paper Rings is the first song I definitely had to put on repeat. It’s so upbeat and honestly makes me just really happy. It’s a good dancing song, something to bounce around to and, in a sense, dream to. It reminds me of my sister and her boyfriend, honestly. They’re the first kind of proper romantic love I’ve ever really seen in my life. They are so sweet and understanding of each other and they just moved in together as a way to help my sister. She’s honestly thinking of proposing to him and it makes me really happy for her, and for them. He respects her and he respects me, which is something previous boyfriends of hers didn’t do.

If you want to avoid the talk of cancer, death, and depression please skip down til you find the gif. Everything after that will be positive again, cos I refuse to end on a depressing note.

So, in December of 2018 my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I was living with my sister, it was Christmas time, mother didn’t tell us until after Christmas. It was weird for us. We’ve never had a good relationship with our mom, for a number of reasons, so hearing she had cancer came weird. I don’t know if it was shock or something else, but a lot of it was “it’s not the kind of cancer we imagined she’d get” cos she’s a smoker, so we figured, if anything, it’d be lung cancer.

Flash forward to late January and I’ve returned home with my parents. Mother is sick and needs someone to watch out for her while my dad works. I don’t like being back in the family home, it’s messy and fuels my depression, which fuels my anger. It’s not a good attitude to have when trying to care for someone with cancer, I know this. I just can’t help it sometimes, though I try.

Shortly after my return, mother started chemo and she started going down hill. I stopped sleeping in my own room so I was close to her at night when she was most liable to fall and hurt herself. And she did. A lot. And every time I fought to pick her up. I fought to pick her and up and stop the bleeding. It’s a thankless job, I knew this coming into it, but I had no choice. She’s my mom. Yeah, I have a really bad relationship with her and this isn’t liable to change, but this is something I have to do.

So, the first however many times I listened to Soon You’ll Get Better I didn’t necessarily react. And then September 4th rolled around. My grandmother, who was the kind of woman who pushed through everything, had been diagnosed with cancer so many times and come back every time, died. I didn’t have a good relationship with her either, barely knew her, she barely knew me but she was the stubborn sort. She died in the early morning hours, before I’d even gone to bed. I’d ask her not to die on my birthday (the 5th) and she didn’t, but it was hard to take either way.

Later that day, on my way to Orlando, to celebrate my birthday, I had my mom stop at Target. I needed a physical copy of Lover in my hands and I’d never gotten a Target Exclusive version of Taylor’s albums before so I needed it. Happy birthday to me, right? Well, I decided I wanted to play Soon You’ll Get Better for my mom. I cried. It was the first time I’ve cried in a really long time. And I want to kinda talk about why.

In doctor's office lighting, I didn't tell you I was scared That was the first time we were there Holy orange bottles, each night, I pray to you Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too

I went with my mom to a number of her appointments with her, including sitting through chemo with her on more than one occasion. I was raised in the church but as I’ve gotten older lost my faith, lost what it means to believe in a higher power. Because I’ve been hated on in churches, being queer and trans. But in all of this I’ve re-found parts of my faith.

I know delusion when I see it in the mirror You like the nicer nurses, you make the best of a bad deal I just pretend it isn't real

Something I’ve always done, something I got from my mother, is you take the bad things and you shove them under the rug. You forget they exist and I hate to say it, it’s what I’ve been doing. To whatever extent I can. Because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do if I don’t, y’know?

And I hate to make this all about me But who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do If there's no you?

It’s hard to explain that fear, thinking about what life would be like if she dies. Because as bad as my relationship with my mom is, she’s one of the only pieces of sanity I have close. I mean this in the sense that I talk to my mom a lot, about a lot of stupid stuff, and sometimes about deep stuff. Maybe I do it because I know she won’t remember all of it, or any of it, cos our conversations often happen late at night, but I do it. I talk to her and I don’t know who I’ll talk to like that if she doesn’t get better.

Part of why I’m writing this is because she might not. My mom has a lot of health risks, things that make operating for the cancer dangerous. It’s another reason why my sister and I were surprised when they said she had pancreatic cancer. We found out today that while the surgeon is willing, she’s high risk. Being high risk, the anesthesiologist might deem her too risky. That, despite all of this, she may not be able to get the surgery to remove the tumor. She hasn’t had chemo since May because she’s been too sick and too weak. It’s possible that if they can’t do the surgery, she won’t be able to do chemo again either to keep in check.

That’s hard to take, for all of us and part of me just wants to put Soon You’ll Get Better on repeat because what else can I do? I’ve done what I can but it’s just not enough.

So, that’s the long winded explanation of why I love that song and relate to it so much. And, cos I probably made anyone reading this cry:

Now to try and end this on a much more positive note.

A lot of the songs on the album that I don’t necessarily have proper connections to, that I still love deeply. Cruel Summer, You Need To Calm Down and Me! have this vibe that makes me want to dance, flat out. I go way too hard to the bridge in Cruel Summer. Like, it’s just one of those things I do and I do so apologetically.

London Boy, Daylight, Cornelia Street and Lover are dreamer songs. Songs that make me believe that love does exist in a romantic sense. That when things are rough and tumblr, I can listen to and feel better, cos at least for someone out there a love like that exists. One that is bright and brilliant and still so very soft. They’re also really good songs to dance to. Like, this album really is full of bops.

So, Taylor, should you take the time to read this long post by a random person on the internet, thank you. Thank you for Lover. Thank you for the truth. Thank you for being you. This album has been such a bright spot in my life right now. I take joy in the little things and I take a lot of joy out of this not-so-little thing. This album makes my heart happy, even in the dark and it’s a beautiful thing.

Love,

Charlie (they/he)

#taylor swift #taylorswift #ts7 lover #cancer tw #depression tw #death tw #lover #lover album #not now Charlie

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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 6 years ago

Text

It’s The Avengers (2)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Episode 2: The Vibes

Warnings: ...none.

Word Count: I’m supposed to be shopping for three upcoming weddings but all I feel like doing is writing and posting stuff here. Also, I’m probably sleep deprived???

A/N: But I’m happy.

MASTERLIST

E01, E02, E03, E04, E05, E06, E07, E08, E09

"'Morning Y/N!"

Wanda called out to your drowsy figure, still clad in your PJs, coming out of your room into The Dorm's lounge, followed by 'morning princess' from Sam, 'Got some good amount of rest?' from Bruce, 'please tell me it wasn't you snoring last night' from Clint, 'good morning, Y/N, would you like some coffee?' from Steve and a 'So you are Y/N!' from an overly enthusiastic Pietro.

Y/N: Woah! Had I known I was going to live with such enthusiastic early birds I would have never let Mr Stark bring me here. Not that these people are bad, I just don't wake up well to loud sounds.

*nodding your head in agreement with yourself*

Also, who calls their sleeping quarters Dorms? What are they? Eighteen?

You greeted everyone back as you made your way to the kitchen space that housed all breakfast items and snacks for the Avengers. Steve offered you coffee while Bucky was already making some tea for you and him. He knew from your previous encounter you weren't a coffee girl. You were taking out a tiny bottle of a liquid concentrate from one of the drawers when Sam came over and took Bucky's mug.

"That's my tea, Sam," his hoarse voice tried to stay calm. Sam took one good sip and put it back on the counter, "Still want it?"

Y/N: *scrunching her nose* hmm, scratch that. They're twelve.

Loki came out from his room into the hall, giving the lounge his signature smile that sent nearly all of them to turn to ice towards the frost giant. Ignoring it all, he came towards you and picked up your mug of tea. Bucky started to protest at the action when you interrupted him. "Oh, it's alright. I wanted to eat something before my tea anyways. Here, keep back the sweetener," you asked Bucky, bringing forward the tiny bottle you'd taken out earlier.

"I'll take that for my tea, thank you very much," Loki grabbed the bottle and put three drops into his tea.

Clint: It hasn't even been twenty-four hours and he's already started. *sips coffee straight from the pot in his hand*

*looks far away deep in thought before coming back* should I donate him as a sacrifice to the flat-earthers? If they ever find the edge of the world at least they'll kick him down into oblivion.

Loki: I always find joy in the simplistic things. *sips tea from the same mug*

It's fun to see tiny actions or faults irritate the small human mind, forcing them to lose their sanity little by little. That's what I plan to do to this excuse of a puny human that is Y/N.

You smiled back at Loki, surprising him a little with the genuineness of the emotion that reflected in your eyes. "Happy to help," you jested before taking out some eggs from the fridge to make yourself an omelette. "Would you like some, Loki?" You asked, making his smile falter for a bit before he looked into the camera and went back to his tea.

Y/N: I grew up with two brothers. One older and one younger. The crap they used to pull on me is nothing compared to what happened ten minutes ago. The trickster better up his game.

What no one else, except the camera was noticing was the heart eyes Pietro was having for Y/N.

Pietro: Who? Y/N? Yeah, she's cool. Don't know much about her but she seems okay. Average. Not the bad average. The good average. *crossing his arms while moving uncomfortably in the chair* She's good. She's...she's fine. *a hint of smile runs over his lips as his cheeks start to turn red*

You got ready for the day to let Wanda and Bruce give you and Pietro- the newcomers- a once over of the facility. Loki and Scott joined in as an unwelcome fifth and sixth wheel to have a bit of fun of their own.

Scott: I don't know what's happening as I woke up fifteen minutes ago but I am down for whatever it is the kids are doing. *gives two thumbs up to the camera with a wide grin*

"This is the east wing of the facility, as you know," Wanda stated with excitement as she pointed out while everyone walked behind them and Bruce, "it has our Dorms and lounge, our dining and kitchen, and study on three separate floors."

"We are now entering the north wing." Bruce took over as Wanda stopped on the way to pick up a message for her from Friday, "This one houses your training area...sorry the Avengers training area and relaxation space. I'm sorry I'm not sure if you're allowed here Y/N though I don’t think it should be a problem."

You were about to give a modest reply when Loki thought it best to interrupt. "Why not? She could really use some sort of manual labour while she's here. From external as well as...internal threats."

Bruce and Wanda looked at Loki with judgment with a hint of fear in their eyes- the fear not from him, but from themselves.

"Oh my God! You're right, Loki," you pointed out, "I think I do need some sort of training to help me put my stress and rage that I usually aim at another person to some productive use. So true about the internal threat buddy." Bruce and Wanda looked at you with admiration as they proceeded to show you more of the wing. Loki crossed his arms over his chest cocking an eyebrow at you as he watched you follow the doctor and the witch. Scott lagged behind, looking at you and Loki with suspicion in his eyes before turning to the camera and pointing in your direction with furrowed brows.

Scott: Is it just me or do I sense a little bit of a 'love' vibe between those two? Eh? Eh?

You were in the west wing now, leaving Wanda and a very reluctant Pietro behind as they'd been called back by Steve.

"This is research and development wing. We've got the best of the machines doing our work for us, thanks to Tony and Shuri," Bruce announced proudly before watching your blank faces. "Oh, Shuri is King T'Challa's sister. She's a genius."

"T'Challa as in the Black Panther?" You asked with piqued interest, Loki's ears following the change in the pitch of your voice.

Bruce affirmed.

"Cool!" You and Scott said in unison with stars in your eyes, making Loki roll his eyes hard before turning to the counter of multiple types of equipment you were checking out. Scott was at the opposite side of the room drawn in by a structure made out black metallic balls, trying his level best not to touch them.

"Do you know what that is?" Loki asked from behind you. You picked up the tablet lying in front of you as you studied the data regarding a research it displayed.

"Fascinating!" You breathed, your eyes going wide, "this is a study on the brain cell's ability to pick up messages from the...uhh...cosmos...universe, whatever you call it and trans-"

"Translate it. Yes, allow me to explain it to you in ways your little brain can understand." Loki snatched the tablet from your hand as he went on about the magic of the cosmos.

Y/N: Mansplaining! *smiles* He nearly got me there. It actually would have gotten on my nerves until he started rambling about the research through the example of his telekinetic abilities. *chuckles* His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. He didn't even realise when he broke his character.

Loki: *angry* I didn't break my character. *camera pans in* I've just never had someone hear me digress about my magical abilities like she did.

*camera pans in again* Oh, that sly fox. She's cleverer than she shows to be. But not to worry. I still have to play my final move.

Y/N: Nope. I don't think I'm clever. I'm just...observant. Why not cle- *deep inhale* I spent thirty-five minutes searching for my phone in the middle of the night yesterday with my phone's flashlight.

*camera pans in* I'm dumb as hell.

Bruce: Y/N seems like a good kid. I'm still not sure why she's living here with a crowd that composes mostly of a bunch degenerates, depressed or anxious minds. *smiles* She's so...so nice and-and *sighs* normal. *shuts his mouth as expression changes to grim* and then there's Loki. The polar opposite of this girl. Why is he living with us?

The south wing was the most extravagant thing you'd seen in your life. It was purely for the purpose of experiencing high society luxury. A dance hall, a cigarette room, a grand buffet room, an entirely different room for 'coats', and so much more. "Why do we have this here?"

"Ask Tony. I have zero ideas about this section," Bruce responded to your question, going straight out through the French door opening into the lawn ahead. Scott, who was nibbling on some marshmallows, was about to go after the scientist when he stopped in his tracks as he saw Loki take you by the arm and disappear into the huge dining hall. He was quiet on his feet as he pressed his ear to the wall while coming near the door.

Loki took your hands in his, watching your air falter for a second.

"You seem really new to all this lady Y/N. I can only imagine how lonely you must feel within the crowd of such abnormality, wondering what purpose could you possibly have here."

Loki moved his fingers over your bare arms, chasing the goosebumps developing on your skin. "But you should know that I am here for you if you ever need me, my precious Y/N. For anything. And I do mean...anything." The whisper of his last word sent this little shiver down your spine as you looked into his green eyes seductively smiling at you.

"Loki I..." You looked at him as you took his hand in yours, "I know what you mean. And your invitation is quite tempting but," you moved closer to him, moving his single rebellious onyx strand behind his ear, "I wouldn't want you to do anything you're not sure about yourself." You reflected the similar whisper in your words, but with more concern and less seduction, taking the God of Mischief by utter surprise while Scott stood behind the wall next to you gasping and wide-eyed, smushing the marshmallows in his mouth.

Loki: *brooding until he becomes aware of the camera*

*whispers* why in Hel am I still here? *leaves the room*

Scott: HAH! I told you! *starts singing* Sexy love doo-doo-doo

You made sure you were able to catch Thor alone in the evening when he was back from his local kingdom.

"I apologise on behalf of my brother, Y/N. Is there some way you'd like to punish him?"

You had not even spoken a word to the God of thunder and he was ready with an apology and a method to punish his brother's unspoken crimes.

"Uhh...no. No. I just wanted to ask you if today's something special. Some sort of special occasion or anniversary of some event."

Y/N: I figured that the person trying to get under my skin today is practically the same person who had quite a controversial but considerable contribution in bringing down the worst villain of the universe. So, either he's diluted his IQ or he was trying to distract himself from something today. *shrugs*

"Why yes," Thor responded to your question with a sparkle in his eye, "it is a special occasion today."

An hour later, you, Thor and Scott were at Loki's door, knocking. Loki took his sweet time to open up, only to look at the three of you with questioning eyes before turning his gaze to the cupcake you held in your hand.

A string of 'happy-birthday-Loki's surrounded him making him scrunch his nose in disgust. "What is this madness?"

"This," you began as you took his hand in yours to place the cupcake dish in his palm, "is a small treat from us."

You couldn't help but smile as he looked at the dessert with questioning eyes, suspicious of what was inside it.

"It's a molten chocolate cake," Scott gushed, pointing at his own share half consumed already, "it's amazing. Y/N made these. Eat it while it's hot."

Scott went away for his second helping. "Don't push yourself too hard, my prince," you asserted to the God reading you with apprehensive eyes, "I am very easy to break."

Loki watched you go down the corridor, his eyes never leaving you till you disappeared at the turn to the lounge and kitchen.

He looked back at his brothers standing tall in the hallway smiling at him.

"So, what would you li-"

"Did you tell her?"

"...Yes."

"Why?"

"Because she specifically asked about it."

"And did you apologise on my behalf considering whatever punishment deemed necessary?"

"... Yes but I-"

The door was shut in Thor's face.

"I deserve that," Thor whispered to himself as he walked away.

Loki: *eating the molten chocolate cake* Why would you do this to a desert? It's disgusting *taking another bite and turns to the camera* I've had ten, why?

(You asked for this. Now suffer! 😂 )

E01, E02, E03, E04, E05, E06, E07, E08, E09

Taglist:

Permanent

@greenarrowhead @magiclolipopqueen @choke-me-sweet-pea @classy-swiftt @smexylemony @hazzastyles2471 @lokis-lady-death @lokixme @l0kisbitch @bambamwolf87 @tarithenurse @hiddlestonstansworld @itheoneofmanyfandomsi

The Office

@wishrains @ultraslytherwin @loki-the-fox @awkward-dr-strang3rman @royaldork @avenging-blackwidow

(If you have something specific you’d like to see in this AU please send me an ask, I’d love your inputs. If you’d like to be tagged, send an ask as well. xx)

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