#trans men ARE men. no other strings attached see them as men and nothing else

[aviancataclysm]

is there a way to like block/quit 99% of tumblr but stay very active on the 1% because i cant take it any more people are so fucking stupid

or do i practice internet abstinence where i avoid looking at my dash and use tumblr solely for one or two tags (geometry dash + other fandoms i post about such as unaliver drones and gravity farts + aspec stuff because im not touching the trans tags!!! i am not!! people are so extremely weird about it even if it's the supporting side)

[im-the-king-of-the-ocean]

Penny/Oscar prompt(with trans!Penny and trans!Oscar): Still feeling confused by being chosen as the Winter maiden, she approaches Oscar about whether she can really be a Maiden when her soul came from a man. Oscar tries his best to answer as himself, saying they're not so different as Oz only reincarnates into men, and explains he wasn't born as one, but that it's their feelings towards their gender and own identity that matters more and is a true reflection of their soul.

I don’t think I’m ever going to be completely happy with this one.  It’s been through (at minimum 3-4) drafts and waaay too many read throughs.  I’m just gonna call it done here.  A part of me feels like I could still make it better somehow, but I already put all that I could into it.

That said, Penny and Oscar as valid af and anyone who disagrees can fight me behind Denny’s (sure I’ll probably lose because I’m basically Steve Rogers before he became Captain America, but yeah).

Also if it doesn’t come across that they’re valid af in this fic, I will just go and edit it some more.  I did my best, but I also am somewhat worried that’s not enough.

anywhoooo off to the fic!

.

There Are No Strings On Me (The Farm Boy Is Also A Cricket, Too)

Penny watches the airship lift off and fly away.  She hates staying behind like this.  She understands why.  What she is now, a Maiden—she’s too important to risk on a reconnaissance mission.  The fate of Atlas, Mantle, the entire world rests partially on her shoulders, and not just in an ‘Ironwood telling her that it will be her job to save the world one day’ way.  This is real.  Too real.

Penny holds one of her hands in the other.  She rubs circles with her thumb on her open palm.  Her father, the first chance he got, repaired the damage Cinder’s fiery blade caused when it exploded.  She’s glad for that.  There’s no doubt in her mind that there will be a battle in the near future she will take part in.  Going into a fight with sustained damages is no good.

Penny closes her eyes.  A part of her wants to playback that terrifying moment.  Hurtling through the air, her sensors alerting her to the incoming blade, catching it, her hands overheating.  Spinning out of control.  Falling.

Catching herself.

She refuses to let herself do more than think about it.  She survived the fight.  So did Winter.  That’s what really matters.  

Although, dying doesn’t necessarily scare Penny.  She’s done it once already.  She doesn’t remember it or the time between it and her reactivation.  She never felt pain, terror.  One moment she knew nothing more, and the next she was blinking awake in her father’s lab.  Penny knows truly dying means not waking up again, but she finds it hard to fear the moment when it’ll eventually happen definitively for her.

What she does fear, and what she would cry over if she had the capacity, is the possibility of an afterlife.  Penny has hard evidence now that, if an afterlife does exist, she doesn’t get to go there.  She doesn’t go anywhere.  She just shuts off.  Like any other machine.

She’s not real like actual people are.  She’s a very close replication of life, but there’s still a gaping chasm between her and everyone else.  One that she can never cross precisely because of what she is.

I have come too far to be stopped by some toy!

They’re words said in rage by someone whose opinion Penny knows she shouldn’t really be considering, but they’ve stuck with her since they were yelled at her.  Is that what she is?  A toy?  A puppet?  A plaything?  An imitation of life meant to explore humanity’s capacity for creation?

An imitation of humanity itself, one that deceived—stole—one of its greatest powers out from under it?

Penny can’t describe what having the Maiden powers feels like.  They’re just there.  A part of her, but one that’s somehow detached from her operating systems.  She controls them, can send commands and signals to them like she does literally every other aspect of her body, but they are distinctly separate from her machinery.  Like a magnet that got accidentally stuck to her and won’t come off.  Not truly a part of her.  Not really.

She shouldn’t have gotten them at all.  The Maiden powers were intended as a gift from an old wizard to four living girls, to aid mankind.  Penny isn’t alive, not like everyone else is.  The gift to the maidens was never meant for her.  She intervened in a process she should have stayed out of.  It was not her place to act like she had.

But if she hadn’t…

Penny can imagine what would have happened if Cinder won that fight.  Fria’s final moments would not have been peaceful.  Winter, out of aura and injured, would be in no condition to continue a fight against an even stronger opponent.  Penny herself…well, she already knew how little Cinder regarded her life.

She’d had no choice, hadn’t she?  To save all three of them.  To not waste the window of opportunity Winter gave her by distracting Cinder.  In those precious moments, there was only her.  Penny.

She could have told Fria to think of Winter, couldn’t she?  Fria knew Winter.  Thinking of her probably wouldn’t have been too hard.  But, Penny hadn’t.  Penny had taken Fria’s hand and held it.  Because no one should be alone in that final moment.  Because she couldn’t say she knew what awaited Fria on the other side and she wanted to give Fria whatever comfort she could to send her off.  Because, in that moment, the magical powers hadn’t mattered, but the old woman in Penny’s arms did.

Now, here she is, the Winter Maiden.  A thief of a gift to humanity.

“You okay?”

Penny nearly jumps.  She hadn’t heard Oscar come up behind her.  Her receptors had captured the echoing sound, sure, but her processors hadn’t been attuned to register it.

“I—I’m fine,” Penny says too hurriedly, and closes her lips firmly to prevent the hiccup from escaping her.

Oscar looks at Penny a long moment, and then sits down beside her.  “I hate staying behind like this,” he admits, gesturing to the cave opening the airship flew out of to exit the Crater.  “I know there’s more I can be doing but I…”

“Are too important,” Penny finishes for him.  And he is.  Ozpin can always reincarnate into someone else, yes, but there will only ever be one Oscar Pine.  Even if he stayed behind, like her, because of the special magic connected to him, that’s the truth Penny believes firmly in.

“I guess you know what that’s like.”  Oscar laughs quietly.

Penny doesn’t answer.  They settle into silence.  It’s an odd place to sit, really, the opening that looks out over the Crater.  They have an entire, somewhat comfortable, temporary hideout to go rest in, but neither really want to leave the spot where they can see the sliver of the sky where the airship will first appear when it returns.

“Penny, I…” Oscar begins, and Penny turns to him to listen.  “If it was going to be anyone, I’m glad you’re the Winter Maiden.  I know we don’t know each other well, but I do know you’re a good person.”

“Thanks,” Penny replies quietly.  She knows the words are supposed to be reassuring, but they fall flat to her.  Again, she’d been the only one there, in that moment with Fria.  If the Maiden powers could have gone somewhere else, they probably would have.

It was unfair to them, and Fria.  There’s no way the previous maiden could have known Penny’s true nature.  Fria had much more important, pressing matters on her mind to truly take a second and notice the exposed metal of the palms of Penny’s hands, first when she touched her leg, and then when she held her hand.  Fria probably hadn’t had time to realize no ordinary person could have come through the freezing whirlwind of ice and snow.  She probably hadn’t seen how Penny’s legs were clearly synthetic and attached together at an artificial knee.

Despite being a Maiden who lived well into old age and was, therefore, arguably very clever,  Fria probably hadn’t noticed all the little hints that indicated what Penny is, even though she had every reason to critically examine Penny, since she’d been attacked for the power she was tasked with protecting mere minutes before.

Because that would mean Fria had known (or at least suspected) Penny’s true nature, and decided to choose her anyway.

And why would she do that?  Penny, as she keeps telling herself over and over again, isn’t actually real.  Not a real girl.  Not like Ruby and the rest of her team.  Not like Nora, or Winter, or even Cinder, who’s part Grimm now.  All of them were born, created as girls, and Penny was…well her father had been more focused on building something that functioned.  He’d never chosen a gender for her.  She did that herself, later on, after she gained consciousness.  But he’d given her his aura, and her father was a man.  So, following that line of logic, shouldn’t she too be a man too?

“What if it was a mistake?”  Penny asks Oscar in barely a whisper.

He looks at her.  “What if what was a mistake?”

Penny takes a breath she wholly doesn’t need, but the action she learned is one that people do when they need to prepare themselves to say something important.  “Me becoming the Winter Maiden.  I have my father’s aura.  I’m not a real girl.  I tricked some of the most important magic in the world and stole it from humanity and…” she trails off, unsure of how to finish her self-doubting argument.

At first, Oscar doesn’t reply.  Then, “I have Ozpin’s magic, and his memories,” he says slowly.  “Does that make me him?”

“Of course not,” Penny retorts.  “You’re your own person!”

Oscar grins, and Penny gets the feeling it was his ploy to get her to say that, for both their sakes.  “So, if I can still be me, even if I have a wizard living in my head, then why can’t you be your own person even if your father gave you some of his aura?” He posits.

Penny huffs.  “I know I’m not the same being as my father.  There is substantial evidence supporting the concept that we are two entirely separate entities, but I have his aura, and he is a man.  The maiden powers only attach to females.  Therefore, logically, they should not have come to me.”

“So, following that reasoning, aura and gender are linked,” Oscar muses.  He pauses and, if Penny weren’t so wrapped up in her own tumultuous thoughts, she’d recognize the signs that he’s mentally preparing himself to say something he considers very important.  “What if I had evidence to the contrary?”

“What do you mean?”  Penny asks, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Oscar doesn’t look at her.  His shoulders hunch in.  Instinctively, Penny reaches over and wraps a reassuring arm around his shoulders.  She doesn’t know what he’s going to say next, but she can still recognize it’s hard for him to say.

“I was…I am…Penny, do you know what being transgender is?”

Penny doesn’t reply.  The moment she heard the unfamiliar word, she immediately sent out an inquiry to the Internet to find its meaning.

“Transgender,” she finally says.  “Denotes or relates to a person whose gender identity and expression does not correspond with what it was at birth.”

Oscar lets out a sharp laugh.  “That’s one way of putting it, I guess.”  He pauses.  Sensing he’s not finished, Penny waits for him to continue.  He does.  “For me, it means, when my parents’ only child was born, they had a daughter.”  Oscar glances at her warily, but Penny doesn’t interrupt.  He gazes down at his hands, and sighs.  “And that they never got to meet their son either.  They died before he figured that out about himself.”  Hurriedly, he adds, “That’s not the point,” while wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

Penny hugs Oscar, hoping to communicate that he doesn’t have to explain further to her if he doesn’t want to.

Oscar leans into the hug.  He doesn’t wrap his arms around Penny in return, but he does rest his weight on her.  “The point is,” he starts again.  “I once had…doubts.  Kind of like you do.  But I learned aura and gender aren’t really related.  Aura is just aura.  It doesn’t really concern itself with any other part of you.  It’s just there.  Completely yours.  It’s what we believe about ourselves, our identities, that makes us who we are.”

“But my aura is my—”

“Yours.”  Oscar sits back.  “Penny, have you ever considered that all parents create their children’s auras when they conceive them?”

“What?”

“It’s something Oz told me once.  We had a conversation kind of like this.”  Oscar inhales slowly and exhales.  “Oz told me everything comes from somewhere.  He has…interesting theories on the origins of Dust and semblances, for instance.  But he told me, our parents are always a part of us, because they gave a part of themselves to make us.  He said, because of that, mine will always be with me.”  Oscar stares down at his hands.  “Even if I never got to know them.  My aunt used to say the same, that I had my father’s laugh and my aura is nearly the same shade of green as my mother’s, but she’s not an ancient, mystical immortal, so I guess she was harder to believe.”

He smiles softly.  “It’s reassuring, in a way.  To know they gave me part of who I am.  My aura.  My laugh.  My appearance, to an extent.  But they didn’t decide who I am.  I’ve done that on my own.”  Oscar looks up at Penny.  “So have you.  You said it yourself.  You aren’t your father.  You have substantial evidence proving that.”

“But you’re human.  I’m not alive.  I don’t have a soul like—”

“How do you know?”  Oscar interrupts.  “How do you know you don’t have a soul?”

Penny hesitates, and then admits what she’s been thinking,  “I died.  I died and I didn’t go to an afterlife or anything.  I just shut down like any other old machine.”

There’s a long pause where Oscar doesn’t say anything.  Penny begins to think he doesn’t have an argument to refute her claim.  When she’s about to stand and walk away, Oscar finally speaks.

“What if you weren’t dead?”  He asks quietly.

“What?”

“Your father recovered your core, you, from Amity Arena, and used it to rebuild you.  A part of you never shut down completely.  In your own way, you were still alive.”  Though the words seem more like an statement, Oscar speaks them like he’s asking a question.

“I guess.”  Penny frowns.  She’s never really thought of it like that before.  Everyone told her she died, so she assumed she had.  But, a part of her had still existed in the world, hadn’t it?  Vulnerable.  Weak.  But not snuffed out completely.

Penny thinks about it more deeply.  Maybe it was like she had been in a coma?  When people are grievously injured, they can go into comas.  They don’t necessarily remember what happens during them either.  They wake up on the other end still alive, just with a gaping hole of time they weren’t conscious for in their life.  Like her.

“That doesn’t mean I have a soul or will go to an afterlife like everyone else,” Penny mumbles, but she’s not as certain that she believes herself now.

“Penny, I’m not sure how else to tell you this, but no one knows what happens to us after we die.  Not even me, and I—well, Ozma—sort of died once.  Actually, it was more like a couple times.”  Oscar winces.  “But Ozma didn’t maintain memories of what happened to him after once the God of Light brought him back.”  He smiles at her.  “Wondering about it, I think, is one of the most human things someone can do.”

“Oh.”  Penny considers the idea that she’s just as alive as everyone else is, and lets that sink in.

“If it helps.”  Oscar leans back on his hands and looks up to the small sliver of sky that’s visible to them.  “We’re probably the only two people who can be completely certain about their identities.”

“How so?”  Curious, Penny cocks her head.

“I was chosen as the next life as an immortal who only reincarnates into men.  You’re the Winter Maiden, who can only be a girl.”  Oscar shrugs.  “We were each chosen by magic older than this incarnation of humanity itself based on the identities we decided for ourselves.  If that’s not validating, I don’t know what is.”

“I never thought about it like that.”  Penny sighs.  “I—I thought I tricked it.  That I looked enough like a girl that the maiden powers came to me because they had no place else to go.”

“The maiden powers are meant to go to those who will travel out in the world and make it a better place because they are able to.  I think that fits you pretty well.”

[sharerelationship582-blog]

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[thefudge]

Just out of curiosity, did you read JK's essay? I don't support everything in it but many parts resonated with me. Not to mention the horrific online abuse hurled at her, especially the countless, countless "choke on my dick" phrases thrown at her which are so violently misogynistic, it left me with a deep seated feeling of not only discomfort but fear as well. Idk I guess I just felt safe sending this because your blog seems more open to discussion from the other side instead of instant cancel.

i’m glad you think so about this blog and i hope that remains the case.

i didn’t have a chance to read JK’s essay until today (my previous ask about her was written before that) but here are some very, very imperfect thoughts on it:

the essay confirmed my previous take that she has inoculated herself against certain outside arguments but it’s also made me wonder about JK’s understanding of gender and sex. She is very attached to “natal women” and calling all people who menstruate “women” because of “common experiences”, despite the fact that her beloved de Beauvoir, whom she quotes in the essay extensively, acknowledged that “woman” is a social construct. JK herself at one point complains about having to comply with the rules of femininity while growing up and how it made her want to stop being female, so what is the truth? She argues that young girls shouldn’t be thinking about transitioning just because they are made to hate their femaleness but that’s!!! exactly what!!! pushing the term “woman” as sacrosanct does to girls!!! most of what JK felt in her childhood was the kind of misogyny which connects women strictly to their uterus. it made being male a better alternative precisely because of the gate-keeping of penis/vagina. a young girl who acted like a tomboy, for instance, would be criticized for trying to deny her sex, because deep down her biology still made her a “woman”. both sex and gender cannot be divorced from socio-cultural realities, because we act with our bodies and embody what we act. so, if we expand what it means to be a “man” and a “woman”, we liberate, not confine. JK wants young people to feel free to be whoever they want to be, but they must be called “women” when discussing menstruation or else (i won’t even go into the obvious addition that many cis and trans women exist who cannot or no longer menstruate).

Now, she does bring up some fair points about cancel culture and freedom of expression that I will level with, but the problem is that the nuancing she is trying to achieve also serves as weirdly specific dog-whistling. So let me address that:

(warning: spoilers for the Cormoran Strike series)

Right off the bat, we have this explanation added in her intro: 

“On one level, my interest in this issue has been professional, because I’m writing a crime series, set in the present day, and my fictional female detective is of an age to be interested in, and affected by, these issues herself (...)”  

and already, i’m asking questions. how is Robin Ellacott, one of the protagonists of the Strike series, “affected" by these issues, personally? she’s “of an age” to...what? be gender critical? there’s not a lot of that in the novels (unless you count Robin being tall and knowing how to drive well being framed as anti-girly...).  How does crime relate to it? How is she connected to this really? 

the real connection JK wants us to see because she’ll reveal it later in the essay is that Robin was r*ped in college. she’s a sexual assault survivor, which must make her critically engaged with the fate of trans women because....because underneath JK’s empty statement about her female detective....is the correlation that men “disguised” as trans women can perpetrate the same sort of horrific abuse.  she keeps making this correlation throughout the essay.

Here she talks about various people who’ve reached out to her:

They’re worried about the dangers to young people, gay people and about the erosion of women’s and girl’s rights. Above all, they’re worried about a climate of fear that serves nobody – least of all trans youth – well.

And again here:

“So I want trans women to be safe. At the same time, I do not want to make natal girls and women less safe. When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth.”

This one is my favorite because it’s so twisted (here she’s listing her charity work):

“The second reason is that I’m an ex-teacher and the founder of a children’s charity, which gives me an interest in both education and safeguarding. Like many others, I have deep concerns about the effect the trans rights movement is having on both.”

“safeguarding”

hmmmm

What JK wants to spell out with these “common sense” arguments is that she fears that trans women are predatory, and the most convincing argument she can bring, ultimately, is that she herself has been the victim of sexual abuse and therefore, that potential fear never goes away. That’s a very dangerous leap to make. The climate of “fear” she mentions is also connected to cancel culture, of course. She fears women won’t be able to express their opinions online without receiving various amounts of vitriol. But you see how she has merged all three issues together? So that if you agree with one, you must agree with the others. Because yes, cancel culture often goes too far, and yes it is a real issue, but to say that the trans community shutting her down foments the same atmosphere of “fear” as boogie trans women hurting children in bathrooms and her being abused by her cis husband… that’s a veeery slippery slope. Instead of sticking to “freedom of speech” and whatnot, she keeps correlating these issues that should not be correlated (some of them being false issues, as well).  

Is there too much opprobrium around discussions of trans identity? Yes. Are there worthy discussions to be had about young women, homophobia and gender dysphoria? Absolutely. Can being trans become a fashionable trend/identity among kids, like the bygone goth and emo labels? Sure, but these discussions shouldn’t be had at the expense of trans people who have to constantly prove that they “mean” it. Because by stringing up all these issues together, JK is saying “the kids don’t know any better, and the adults are faking it”. Yes, cancel culture is impeding dialogue, yes, we shouldn’t shy away from discussing young teens’ identity problems, but if you pile up all of these things in a giant “trans women are the problem and they might be predatory too” milkshake, you won’t get anywhere.

I want to come back to this quote:

The second reason is that I’m an ex-teacher and the founder of a children’s charity, which gives me an interest in both education and safeguarding. Like many others, I have deep concerns about the effect the trans rights movement is having on both.

Beyond the (in my opinion) not very tasteful enumeration of things she’s done to help, JK’s mention of “education” there is veeery interesting. On the one hand, she probably feels that schools will try to censor “free speech”, but on the other hand, I bet she’s also concerned schools will not do enough censoring, so that impressionable kids become pressured into adopting a trans identity. You see how it flips on a dime? What does she ultimately want children to learn about this? Does she want them to be kept in the dark completely? Does she want them to be allowed to critique or invalidate trans identities without being censored? On this second point, things get complicated. Schools and institutions will naturally censor free speech.  Kids are there to learn how to express that free speech; they will be told “hey, don’t say that to your colleague, it’s not very kind” or “you need to structure your argument appropriately instead of just saying “I don’t like it””. Is there room for criticism in how schools operate that benevolent censorship? Obviously. Hell, Foucault & co. have been talking about this for decades. So what does this argument about education ultimately mean? What are we protecting the kids from? Imo, it goes back to that covert argument about sexual violence.    

Since I’m a teacher too, I’ll talk about my own experience: I brought some texts to my undergrad class about the trans experience with the goal of 1) building empathy, because literature is the grand unifier of experience and 2) showing different literary perspectives which i also included within literary theory. ultimately, the trans experience is about being human. we were learning about being human, nothing more, nothing less. if younger kids end up treating it as a fad it means that a) they need more, not less education,  b) parents and schools should work together to make them understand that being trans is not the same as being “emo”, for instance. this partially resembles the trend of white kids adopting black culture just because it’s cool, but not actually engaging with the black experience. who do you sanction for this? black people? because in this analogy, the trans community should be responsible for children not benefiting from education and parental support.

oh, I know what JK is saying. the trans community is responsible for shutting down conversations about this. it’s part of the general climate of tiptoeing around trans issues. yes, here I can agree with her that Twitter discourse either helps build sympathy or loathing for the “cancelled” person instead of seriously grappling with what that person has done. it’s the nature of Twitter and I hate it, but to go from that to saying women and young girls are in danger from other “fake” women really undermines her own argument. There are normal pitfalls as we try to incrementally do some good in this world. Cancel culture and the deplatforming and ruining of lives of certain individuals will not promote the cause and is certainly to be frowned upon, but JK will be absolutely fine. there are hashtags right now like “istandwithJK” and there’s a slew of people who support her. the misogyny she faces is deplorable, but we shouldn’t conflate valid criticism with trollish vulgarities. I don’t want to minimize the dangers of online culture; I know people have lost jobs and livelihood, but that is a discussion to be had under different parameters, admitting the responsibility of both parties (for example, maya forstater realizing that maybe saying some hurtful things about public figures and proudly talking about the “delusion” of transwomen will come back to bite her in the ass) and the fact that under capitalism, your job is always at the whim of appearances and simulacrums. essentially, you are the job. this is a state of things that deserves a larger discussion not on the back of the trans community. should we live in a world where you are allowed to say anything, free of consequences? some of us do, because we can say whatever we want in our head, in our room, in our house (other ppl aren’t so lucky), but the trouble starts in the public sphere. even if we wanted to build a public sphere where everything goes, we’d be at each other’s throats in five seconds anyway because we’re human. the most we can do is educate and correct where we can.  “facts don’t care about your feelings” discourse is often not informed by facts at all and forgets the vital importance of feelings.

anyway, that’s my incomplete take. still lots to think about and debate. ultimately, i think any fair points JK brought up were tainted by other bad-faith arguments and i wish she’d use this time to self-reflect because this isn’t a topic that should be breezed past in 3k words. nor should young trans ppl be called “adorable” (facepalm). i myself have many questions and constantly grapple with all of this, but since she’s a writer (and for better or worse, i still like her books), she is in a perfect position to investigate the matter with kindness and stop giving ultimatums. and i hope this post fosters discussion and doesn’t shut anyone down.

( forgot to mention that other nifty subplot in the Strike series about these really unlikable kids who are transabled and experience BID ( Body integrity dysphoria)  and want to have a disability. Strike is super-offended by them since he’s genuinely disabled and we as readers are meant to think they’re real pieces of shit, and while transableism is suuuuper complicated and my thoughts on it vary wildly, i do think those BID kids also stand in for other folks in her mind..again, food for thought.)

[hibiki-the-beast-archived]

All of the questions, since you seem a little needy today

   A kind anon showed some mercy with me. No one can resist my cocky smile, right?

When was the last time you masturbated?I barely masturbate. But yesterday I did, after I dreamed of ravaging a cute prey and woke up completely ruttish. Who knows, maybe it was not even a dream?

   Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering?I enjoy the former over the latter, but in the end I would do both.

   How do you feel about food during sex?'Food' like blood? Very appreciated. Other kind of food doesn't need to be involved.

   What do you do directly after sex?Smoking, eating my partner out or just staying on top of them. When the submissive part is mine I might mainly focus on getting back to reality - hopefully with the help of the dominant. Yes, I even enjoy to cuddle afterwards, but I suppose this was another question.

   Cuddle with the tip in?Torture for me as a sub, torture for me as a dominant. If the next round should not take place within the next two minutes I prefer to pull out.

   What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done?Many of my naughty fantasies are not fulfilled yet. Knifeplay was an earth-shattering experience for sure, same for wearing a chastity cage and having a ruined orgasm thanks to it. We better don't talk about my crimes here.

   Name a follower you would fuck.Really? This is embarrassing...and hard to choose actually. But if I had to pick someone it probably would be @the-devils-proof telling by mere appearance.

   Name a follower you have fucked.@aki-in-tokyo Come on, just admit we are a match made in heaven...or rather hell.

   What’s the sexiest part of your body?I suppose it is my tongue, but it only becomes sexy since I know how to use it right.

   FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat JoeI actually googled them. I am in killing rappers, and they all look like being into this kind of music.

   Would you ever be with a trans person?I never thought about it, but in theory I would not have a problem with it.

   Riding dick or doggy style?Riding is definitely more exciting.

   Ever fucked in a school?No.

   Most random place you’ve had sex?On a playground. No, not with an underage, I might be disgusting but this would be even too much for me.

   Would you ever be part of the mile high club?No?

   Name three of your spots.Neck, hips, feet

   Fuck on the first date?Very likely to happen.

   Do you suck dick?With pleasure.

   Do you eat ass?Sure.

   Do you eat pussy?I might not be that much into women, but in fact this is one of my favorites.

   Do you like kissing?I liked to kiss only one or two persons so far. However I could refrain from it.

   Is farting during sex sexy?No.

   Ever fucked in the shower?Kind of.

   How old were you when you lost your virginity?I don't have memories left of the time before my transformation. My actual virginity I lost only a year ago anyway during a night that turned my whole world upside down.

   Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night?The night is my time and the one I am most likely to be in heat, so I prefer it for this kind of activity, too.

   Do you like drunk sex?I am horrible drunk, but I definitely would like to get taken advantage of while being half unconscious.

   Do you like high sex?Never had it. The only drug I would consume is weed anyway.

   FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash DollI am not interested in doing anything to those persons.

   When was your first kiss?The kiss of eternity? I think around 175 years ago. Any other kiss does not matter much, besides of the kisses I shared lately with a very special someone.

   How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to?Referring to my actual virginity again; he approached me via tumblr. He provoked me. He threatened me to teach me manner with an electric collar. I paid him a visit and made clear that I did not take it as a joke.

   Have you ever faked an orgasm?How is this supposed to work for a male? Spitting on their back?

   Ever painted/been painted on?No, but sounds like an interesting idea.

   You like sex toys?Not that much. A little more when I can use them in someone else's company.

   What’s your favorite sex position?Missionary or standing.

   Sex on a bed, couch, or floor?Bed is rare since I don't let anyone into my bed. Couch is too small for going crazy. It is likely I would do it on the floor.

   Do you like car sex?Never had it, I think a car is a little small though for raging yourself out.

   You get instantly horny; what happened?I probably got humiliated verbally.

   FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina.Not interested in this kind of game anymore.

   Describe your crush.I don't know who I should consider my crush (there is someone, but putting things into categories is something I refrain from doing mostly). The men I feel attracted to are mainly tall, tattooed and more or less muscular - and have a weak spot for violence.

   Woukd you ever be with someone with an incurable STD?Depends on when I learn about this. When I am already on fire I probably would not say no to them anymore.

   Rate your head game.Is this supposed to mean oral? I did not give much oral so far, but when you add passion, my swift tongue and my willingness to deep throat I would give me an 8 out of 10 probably.

   Rate your sex.As dominant: 7/10; as submissive: 5/10...but how should I know?

   Would you fuck someone outside of your race?So a werewolf? I would. Or a western man? I would. Especially because they are so tall. I have a certain weakness for this idea.

   Describe the type of freak you are.'Freaks' was the name for the fans of my former band...however you could say I am all kinds of freak. I am a violence and fight freak, mainly. If my partner does not struggle or complain I have to suppose they are already dead, and corpses do not stir me up.

   Ever tasted your own nut/cum?Yes.

   Into golden showers?Mh...rather into omorashi.

   Body count: Under or Over 25?I don't know what my body count is. But I am not as thin as many Japanese men.

   How do you feel about nipple play?As an addition to other things, yes, of course.

   Where do you like to be nutted on?In fact my face. A wonderfully degrading gesture.

   Which are you better at: topping or bottoming?Topping. I may be a hungry and tough bottom who endures everything, but if I am the actor and not only the reactor I am probably more fun. Assumed you never wanted to see someone's eyes water because of submissive pleasure...

   What do you consider “too small?”Anything less than ten centimeters probably, as erected blood penis.

   Is play fighting foreplay?I could not imagine a better foreplay.

   Do you like angry sex?Yes. This is the nonpareil.

   How long should a quickie be?Not much longer than ten minutes.

   How long is “too long” to have sex?A session can last a whole day even, or longer, so there is nothing that is too long.

   How long is “too long” to go without sex?When you feel ruttish even an hour spent without sex can be too much.

   Is “no” relevant in a relationship?I think so. But the aim for me is to never need to say no to anything the dominant demands.

   Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex?Of course.

   Would you have sex in a public bathroom?Sure.

   Would you have sex in a changing room?Sure.

   Who was the last person you had sex with?Again something embarrassing. There are three people I had sex with during the last months, but I will not name them here.

   Describe your type.Already done so earlier: Tall, tattooed, maybe pierced (because I react strongly to being in touch with metal and silver) and not afraid to take off their kid gloves to touch me. Or at least into the finger things in life, means: Violence, blood, fucking with morals.

   Name 3 turn-ons.Forced feminization, getting tied up (preferably in humiliating ways), anything pet play related.

   Name 3 turn-offs.Doctor-patient-roleplay, anything feces related, feeding (as in making someone grow fat).

   Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex.My partner triggering my submission in any way while I am dominant.

   Would you answer a phone call during sex?No.

   Would you ever pay for sex?No.

   Would you accept money for sex?When it is part of a roleplay, then yes.

   How do you typically feel after sex?Either very exhausted and vulnerable but proud of myself for being strong and good, or just exhausted and satisfied.

   Do you like your body?Yes.

   Ever sent nudes?No. I would do though if someone was interested.

   Have you ever cheated on someone?Kind of.

   Have you ever been cheated on?Not that I knew and not as if it was possible.

   Would you have a threesome?Yes, maybe.

   Would you have a foursome?Maybe.

   Would you take part in an orgy?Maybe.

   Would you let’s train be ran on you?If it is the thing I think it is then definitely yes.

   How often do you masturbate?Not often. It is not my thing and does not give me much satisfaction. Maybe once a month.

   Sex with the lights on or off?On.

   Sex with music or tv in the background?Music, yes, if it is fitting. TV, yes as well, if my partner pretends the movie is more interesting than me while I please them.

   Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related?No.

   In your last relationships, rate the sex?I don't want to.

   Do you sleep naked?Yes.

   How often do you go commando?Happens, in summer I prefer it so I do it regularly.

   Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced?No and no. I doubt it would fit me.

   Do you dive right into sex, or converse first?Both can be exciting, depending on the partner, but an animated conversation can be very erotic and get me in the mood.

   After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move?Who says the fun begins after taking the clothes off? And who says I have a standard program for sexual situations?

   Do you make the first move?I mostly have to, but I prefer it the other way round, especially because I have a hard time approaching handsome and intimidating looking men (well, approaching in general is harder for me than you might think).

   Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day?Can't remember, but I doubt it.

   Do you like dryhumping ?Yes.

   Can you twerk or do a split on a dick?No...

   Have you ever been recorded during sex?No, but my exhibitionistic vein would highly appreciate it.

   Do you watch porn during sex?No, porn is not my cup of tea in general, but same for watching TV during sex when it comes to my partner.

   After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand?Usually not.

   What’s your kink?I have many...but being a pet is my favorite one because it is all natural for me.

   Would you hook up with the same hook-up again?If it was good, why not?

   Ever made a relationship from a one night stand?No.

   How romantic are you during sex?Oh. Not at all.

   Describe your sex in 5 words or less.Feral, physically and mentally intense

Now I am quite exhausted, I hope you felt entertained...and grant me a little reward?

[equalityforher]

Basic Income: A Feminist Issue

By Lindsey Weedston

Feminism’s biggest problem is and always has been how it treats women who are further marginalized. Many feminists refer to this as “intersectionality,” a term coined by Professor Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw, leading critical race scholar and creator of intersectional theory. It was originally used to describe how the oppression of womanhood and blackness overlap to create a unique experience. It was then expanded to include issues of gender identity, ability, sexual orientation, social class, and so on. The idea is that someone who experiences one form of oppression does not have all the same problems as someone who experiences that form of oppression and others, and not to the same degree.

This is demonstrated in the fact that black, native, and Latina women earn less on the white man’s dollar than white women do. Or the fact that disabled women don’t generally suffer from catcalling and are often depicted as completely non-sexual, yet experience much higher rates of sexual abuse than able-bodied women.

Feminists are often criticized for failing to take intersectionality into account. Prominent rich, white, cis feminists regularly give advice that only a privileged section of women can reasonably follow (“Lean In”) and then are surprised when so many women who don’t have that privilege get upset. At the same time, similarly privileged feminists are out there every day, organizing campaigns that leave out trans women and marches that don’t take accessibility into account and using language stolen from women of color. They tell us to get degrees in science or run for office or risk our jobs by reporting sexual harassment without considering the fact that many of us are too poor to do so.

Basic income is a set sum of money given to every resident or citizen by the government every month or year with no strings attached. For example, Finland started a program at the beginning of this year that gives 2,000 unemployed citizens €560 per month - about $627. The hope is that this will encourage these individuals to look for part time jobs without having to worry about losing their unemployment benefits. In Finland, like in the U.S., earning any income can greatly reduce or eliminate a person’s unemployment payout, even if that income still isn’t enough to reasonably live on.

Growing basic income movements across the world are putting forth the idea that people could be given enough money to lift everybody out of poverty by the government, solving the myriad of problems that come with not having enough cash to meet your basic needs. Zoltan Istvan, California gubernatorial candidate for 2018 and basic income advocate, said that “each California household could receive over $50,000 annually if the 45 million acres of unused land were developed,” according to the Basic Income Earth Network, and that this would “lift 19 million Californians out of poverty.”

Class is not the be-all and end-all of oppression, as some individuals believe. But it does have an effect on every marginalized individual, and oppression and poverty tend to go hand-in-hand. Therefore, any feminist who claims to want to be intersectional should advocate for basic income.

It’s not an easy sell, especially in the U.S. Racialized misconceptions about work ethic and rumors of “lazy takers” and mythical “welfare queens” abound - it’s assumed that without the threat of starving to death, many people won’t work at all. This is untrue. A basic income experiment done back in the 1970’s in a small town in Manitoba, Canada found that the only people who quit their jobs under basic income were young people who wanted to stay in school. Mothers also wanted longer maternity leave, but still, most of those who were employed stayed employed. This is largely due to the simple fact that people need to do something with their time in order to feel good.

While it’s true that “being active” or “productive” isn’t a magical cure for clinical depression, it’s also true that people who have nothing to do tend to become depressed. This is why post-retirement anxiety and depression is such a common phenomenon - and why so many retirees seek part-time employment even when they don’t need it financially. If it’s true with people past age 65, it’s going to be true with younger people.

As for where the money will come from, there are a multitude of proposals on how it could be funded, but the money is there. Plus, the idea is that basic income will significantly reduce the cost of tax-funded services. Experiments in basic income have found that it reduces emergency room visits and mental health care costs, plus costs related to crime. It’s a big investment into giving everyone a better world instead of using that money to clean up the results of poverty.

But the best and most feminist part of basic income is how it will help all women and all people of marginalized identities, particularly those who are so often forgotten by privileged feminism. Disabled and chronically ill women won’t have to worry so much about whether they’ll be able to live. Though you can get welfare payments for disability, the hoops that these individuals are forced to jump through in order to get a sum that is no longer enough to live on are a full time job and a constant source of anxiety. Basic income in unconditional. They won’t lose it if they save up too much money or a form gets lost in the mail. If universal healthcare is also implemented (which should be another top feminist goal), they could live in relative peace instead of being forced into poverty at high rates because of something they can’t control.

If I had basic income, I could go to therapy for my mental illness without having to worry so much about the cost or how it might conflict with my work. Last year, I had to give up going to therapy to get a 8 to 5, Monday through Friday job. Since my therapist also keeps those hours, I couldn’t see her anymore. Luckily I don’t desperately need it, but if I did, it would severely limit my job prospects and/or which therapist I could see - and it’s hard enough to find a good therapist.

Although marriage equality is great, one of the biggest problems for LGBT+ people is the high rate of homelessness. To this day, teens are still kicked out of their homes by homophobic and transphobic parents, forcing them onto the streets. Homeless shelters aren’t enough to protect them, and can be unsafe, especially for trans people. Feminism has such a persistent problem with transmisogyny, with trans-exclusionary radical feminists (TERFs) misgendering refusing space to these vulnerable women, and even going so far as to fight to take away their ability to exist in society. Trans women of color in particular face shockingly high rates of murder, and living on the streets increases that risk exponentially. Basic income could save so many of these lives and likely reduce suicide rates, as well.

Arguably the most often forgotten women are the sex workers. I’m not here to argue that basic income should be implemented to save them, because many sex workers like what they do and would continue regardless. But as long as sex work remains taboo and some forms illegal, personal safety will be an issue for them. With basic income, however, many of these individuals who are struggling to get by won’t have to consider putting themselves in a risky situation so that they can eat the next day. They could afford to be choosier with clients, reducing their high rates of on-the-job violence.

Wage gaps shrinking. Educational gaps disappearing. Parents able to spend more time with their kids no matter how much money they make. With so many problems alleviated by basic income, we could better focus on the rest of the issues plaguing marginalized communities. It’s even possible that otherwise privileged poor people might not feel the need to take out their frustrations by attacking immigrants, Muslims, people of color, and anyone else easy to blame for their problems.

Getting basic income may not be an easy goal, but neither is eliminating rape culture, or achieving parity in government, or getting men to calm the hell down and stop killing us. If there is such a thing as a unified feminist agenda, let basic income be one of the top on the list. Our feminism will raise up all women, or it will be bullshit.

Lindsey Weedston is a white, cis, pansexual Seattle-based feminist writer and creator of the blog Not Sorry Feminism. She is working toward a career as a full-time advocate for social justice, human rights, and boosting up marginalized communities. You might also find her playing videogames, watching Netflix, and trying not to be anxious about everything.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

33 People Share Their Most Memorable One-Night Stands

http://fashion-trendin.com/33-people-share-their-most-memorable-one-night-stands/

33 People Share Their Most Memorable One-Night Stands

You know those special summer evenings out with friends where you all stay out a little later than you originally intended, and maybe order one more round of Aperol Spritzes and hummus with pita bread for the table than you thought you would, and all of a sudden everyone is feeling warm and loose and in the mood to faux-whisper the tales of their most thrilling (or embarrassing or weird or funny) romantic encounters?

That’s what it feels like to read the below round-up of quotes from a whole bunch of people who generously recounted the stories of their most memorable one-night stands to Man Repeller. Scroll down to soak them up like that last bite of olive oil-drenched pita. Prepare to laugh, cringe and empathize — and add your own in the comment section if you have one.

“A couple of years ago I went on a family vacation to Cabo, had a three-day romance with a local volunteer firefighter and ended it by hooking up in a fire truck on the last night. I’ll never look at a fire truck the same.”

Peach, 25

“I was 21 and didn’t want to be a virgin anymore so I went on Tinder and had my first and only one night stand. It was great.”

Rosa, 24

“It was 2002. I heard some friends talking about how one of the New York Mets just left the bar, so in my slightly inebriated state, I decided to go see if he was cute. He had just hailed a cab and was about to get in. I said, ‘Leaving already?’ and he said, ‘Should I?’ We hung out at the bar together for an hour or so, then went back to my place. He had an amazing body and it was the perfect first one night stand.”

Nicole, 38

“When we got back to my place, he took off his jeans to reveal boxers that looked like tiny denim hotpants. I was slightly shocked but went with it anyway.”

Annie, 26

“Danish cornfields, a boy named Mathias, 12 beers apiece, up all night at a communal living compound. Unabashed sexy times within earshot of LOTS of disgruntled Scandinavians. Oh — and there was a sauna.”

Hannah, 25

“I was at a friend’s birthday party, and while happy to be there celebrating my friend, I was not having a great time. Everyone at the party was dancing to EDM music. I hate dancing. While outside trying to avoid the dance floor, I struck up conversation with a very handsome guy and we immediately hit it off. He laughed when I told him about my disdain for dancing and swore he’d get me to dance eventually. Later when the party died down, he walked me home. We stopped at a park near my apartment and he pulled out his phone. I thought he was going to take a photo, but nope, he put on “Dancing in the Moonlight” by Toploader. He grabbed my hand and taught me to dance (real rom-com stuff… think spinning me around and dipping me backwards) in the park, in the moonlight. We only made out a little bit, and I still hate dancing, but it definitely made for a good story and a memorable ‘one-night stand.’”

Emma, 19

“I was 17 and it was New Year’s Eve. We smoked weed in his bed until everything became funny. Someone had spilled gummy bears on his comforter, and we kept feeding each other and cracking up. Feeding quickly turned to making out. Driving home the next morning, I kept finding gummy bears that were stuck to my arms and neck.”

Hallie, 25

“It was 2013 and I was trekking the previously unexplored Shilheipung Hills in Manipur, India with a guy. We went up with nothing but a makeshift axe, a rope and water. We reached the top by sundown after a lot of sweat, dirt, him dragging me, carrying me on his back, etc. But the kiss we shared was beautiful and so was everything else that followed. He left to work for the Navy some days later. To this day, we meet up once or twice every year for really good one-night stands, no strings attached.”

Eve, 23

“I forgot my shoes at the guy’s place and walked in socks through the streets of London at 6 a.m.”

Phillipa, 20

“I French-kissed with a total stranger in Budapest at the Széchenyi Chain Bridge, a suspension bridge that spans the River Danube between Buda and Pest and watched the sunrise. I later ditched him after he proposed to have sex behind a motorcycle.”

Louise, 21

“I had just ended a 10-year relationship and I was ready to have my first one-night stand at my best friend’s wedding. I met a guy that night, brought him home and a year later we were married. Now we’re at six years and counting!”

Cristine, 34

“I lost my virginity in high school during a one-night stand (I wanted it that way). The next day in school we had to read the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet together in front of the whole class. I wanted to faint.”

Mel, 24

“I was in college and it was a pajama party, so naturally I was wearing a onesie with ducks all over it. This guy I thought was so hot started talking to me and we hit it off. He took me to the roof where we gazed at the stars together and drank Natty Lights. He was a great kisser and it was amazing sex, but we never talked again after that. Honestly I mostly am just proud that I successfully picked up a guy wearing duck onesie pajamas.”

Anne, 23

“I was 18 and had just moved to San Francisco. I was just beginning my medical transition. I was feeling lonely, so I met up with a guy who had been messaging me on a dating app. It was a bit awkward. We tried finding food both of us could eat. For me, vegan, and him, gluten-free. We ended up settling on a burger place. We started talking and I could feel an attraction. I was really into him. We went back to his place for some honestly mediocre sex haha. I asked after if there was a place nearby to grab a coffee and he offered to make me one. We sat and snuggled for a bit and decided go try to find fireworks (it was the Fourth of July). We ended up in Dolores park. We sat down and ended up kissing and cuddling, hardly able to wait to get back to his place again.

This experience meant a lot for me at a time of my life where I thought being trans meant I would have to sacrifice true romantic encounters and simply cope with being fetishized and reduced to my trans identity. It also showed me that there were men who would walk down the street with me, holding my hand, somewhat unaffected by the toxic masculinity that can be fatal for us trans folk. It shaped my expectations for how I wanted to be treated by men and gave me hope that I will actually be able to find someone who respects me and my identity eventually.”

Tommy, 19

“When I was 19, I had sex with this Australian rugby player on the bathroom sink/basement couch of an NYC hostel. His name was James. He would ask, ‘Do you like this/do you want to do this?” before trying anything, which was totally not the consent-norm of the time, and which my young feminist self found very sexy. We had to keep going up to the hostel front desk for condoms in what was likely the most conspicuous manner. I have thought of the night fondly ever since.”

Britt, 29

“He tried to give me a fish from his fish tank.”

Emma, 20

“I saw this guy at a bar who was cute, alone and seemed non-threatening, so I approached. I asked him why he looked so lonely, which prompted a laugh. We drank, danced, laughed, and made out with each other through the rest of the night. I went home with him and we had great sex. A week later I found out I had chlamydia (most likely from him). When I told him, he was surprisingly relaxed — we both went to the doctor and we were both prescribed meds. After our doctor business, he asked me to come over and watch some Netflix with him, and we genuinely bonded over our temporary STD. We hit it off. It’s been nearly three years now and we’re still seeing each other. He’s one of my best friends.”

Emily, 22

“I met a stranger in a bookstore in Rome and went back to his place where he bent me over a rooftop balcony overlooking the Coliseum and fucked my brains out.”

Muzunga, 41

“We met on Instagram. When I visited LA, we kept trying to meet up, but it wasn’t working out, so I wrote it off. But then she called me after her shift ended at 10 p.m. We met up at a bar lined with wooden planks à la a ship from 1900s; it was filled with rainbow Christmas lights and locals, the scent of the close-by Santa Monica Pier strong. When she walked in, I noticed that her eyes were yellow. Two Pacificos with lime later, we took a cab to another bar, our shoulders close to, but not touching — in the way they do when two people are interested, but unsure. We picked songs from the juke box while she touched my back. I leaned forward off of my stool and kissed her while John Martyn sang into an empty Venice bar. We made our way to her house, a classic bungalow like the ones in Eve Babitz’s books; spent 15 drunk minutes on the floor of her living room trying to calm her dog from this 2 a.m. intruder. I don’t remember how we got to her room. How I got undressed. If my bra stayed on. Hers did not. She called me ‘baby’ while we had passionate, overdue sex. Afterwards, her dog slept between our legs. Two hours later, I called a car from her bed, watching through hungover eyelids as her chest rose and fell. I took the car to the airport and flew home to Utah.”

Ruby, 26

“He was the lead singer in a college band. I had a very serious boyfriend at the time who was 1,500 miles away. I went to the see the band and he sang most of his songs directly to me. Afterwards, he invited me for drinks and we went back to his place. We had sex for seven hours and watched the sun come up. Before I left I licked him from his ankle to his neck as my goodbye. I gave him a fake number. It was the only time I have ever cheated. It was worth it.”

Maria, 38

“It was in Israel when I was visiting the country with friends over winter break from college. I was staying in a hotel and went to a bar with my girls, where I met someone who was a soldier in the special forces unit. He was four years older (I was 18 at the time), and we ended up having sex in my hotel’s supply closet. I never saw him again, and I like it that way.”

Jackie, 19

“I was 19 and in Paris. I met a Parisian in a bar, who whisked me to his apartment on his Vespa. I spent the night and woke up to an empty bed. He had gone to the bakery downstairs to get me warm pain au chocolat. It sounds fake but I swear this happened to me.”

Gabrielle, 22

“I was my friend’s maid of honor, and one of the groomsmen and I were the only two single people in the wedding party. We also had immediate chemistry. We flirted through the entire rehearsal dinner and then were inseparable at the wedding. We both got drunk. He helped me take one million bobby pins out of my hair. We hooked up in his hotel room. I dipped out early in the morning and we’ve literally never spoken again. I still have the bobby pins, though.”

Ellen, 27

“Philadelphia. Tiny Airbnb. Pizza first, then the hookup. Sex toys involved. Showered afterwards. What a night.”

Kelly, 22

“It was Halloween and I was dressed as Björk (the swan dress). I went home with a guy and it turns out it was his parents’ house. I didn’t have a change of clothes and we ended up eating breakfast together (me wearing the swan dress).”

Lily, 26

“I spent one night in Venice, visiting a cute Italian guy from my internship who spoke zero English. It got hot and heavy quickly, so I wanted to refresh myself with a glass of juice. I didn’t know how to ask for juice so I said ‘limone,’ thinking maybe I would get some lemonade. I did not. He brought me a full lemon, cut in half, and proceeded to squeeze lemon juice all over my body and lick it off. It felt AMAZING, but now I tell people my trip to Venice was ‘totally lemons.’”

June, 34

“I was working as a server and had spent the whole night flirting with a very handsome man 10 years my senior, who was visiting Toronto for the weekend. At the end of the night he asked me for a pack of matches. When I gave him the matches he told me he’d only take them if my number was written inside. He texted me that night to make plans. A few days later we met for a late afternoon drink and ended up hitting it off so well that he booked a 5-star hotel room for the night. We drank champagne in the bathtub, ate Chinese food naked on the patio and had some of the best sex of my life!”

Natalie, 26

“He smelled really nice and kept telling me how much he loved my body all night. When we were done we ordered late night take out and streamed Final Destination 2.”

Giselle, 20

“I had sex with a woman for the first time over Pride weekend after meeting her at a bar and I’m gay as fuck now!”

Julia, 24

“He was cute. But I woke up early and en route to the bathroom discovered that literally the only books on his bookshelf were the collected works of Dan Brown. I immediately left his apartment.”

Kara, 27

“We met at a California Tortilla where he helped me select a hot sauce from the hot sauce wall. After we slept together, we discovered his ex was hooking up with my ex.”

Neanor, 27

“I met her during the pregame, a friend of a friend. We talked about feminism. She had glitter spread over her freckles. As a fledgling queer, it was one of those, ‘do I want to date her or be her?’ conundrums. We danced together on and off throughout the night, but I couldn’t get a definitive read on it. At what point do you go from friendly to flirting?… ‘Want to get out of here?’ she giggled into my ear. We got our coats from the coat check, I checked in with the rest of my friends, and we made a hasty exit. She stumbled a bit on the stairs but didn’t fall. ‘Alright I’ll take you home,’ I joked. ‘No,’ she insisted, ‘I’m taking you home!’”

Fatima, 20

“He was great and super fun, until he whispered, ‘You taste like root vegetables, specifically carrots and turnips’ into my ear. I had to stop things right there because I couldn’t catch my breath from laughing so hard.”

Paige, 22

Collage by Louisiana Mei Gelpi.