#trans male reader with daddy issues

[prismuffin]

Masterlist 2:

Full Fanfic Masterlist

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Marvel:

How Peter Parker and Steve Rogers react to their crush asking to play with their hair

Hobie Brown helping trans!male!Reader with dysphoria Hobie Brown reminding ftm!Reader not to overbind Hobie Brown turning into a cat and causing chaos in the SpiderSociety

How Miles Morales acts on a rooftop date with another hero Miles Morales reacting to grieving reader Miles Morales being caught wearing his guy crushes hoodie Miles Morales reacting to his crush suddenly asking him out in the middle of a normal conversation Miles Morales with a younger!sister!reader

Platonic!Miguel O'Hara comforting transmale reader after a breakdown Miguel O'Hara reacting to reader coming out as trans (ftm)

Miles Morales and Hobie Brown (separate) reacting to male!Reader with brain issues Miles Morales and Hobie Brown (separate) reacting to male!Reader getting a good grade on an exam

Pavitr Prabhakar and german!male!Reader bonding by learning about each other's cultures

SpiderTeens reacting to gn reader adopting them all

Stranger Things:

Nothing yet!

The Umbrella Academy:

Nothing yet!

Criminal Minds:

Nothing yet!

Hitman Trilogy:

Nothing yet!

Mission: Impossible:

Ethan Hunt reacting to his son being a part of the syndicate

FarCry 5:

Nothing yet!

Valorant:

Nothing yet!

Detroit Become Human:

Connor helping male!trans!reader with testosterone shots Connor helping gn!Reader calm down from a panic attack Connor with a s/o who's a maladaptive daydreamer Connor with an insomniac s/o Connor with a s/o who's a wild/active sleeper

Our Life Beginnings & Always:

Nothing yet!

Error 143:

Nothing yet!

Sally Face:

Nothing yet!

WatchDogs Trilogy:

Nothing yet!

COD: Modern Warfare2:

John Price dealing with being a sleep talker

Konig reacting to short!male!Reader climbing him like a tree to see something Konig reacting to short!male!Reader being on his shoulders^^Part 2

Ghost, Konig, and Price (separate) reacting to male!Reader with dermatillomania Ghost and Konig (separate) reacting to having to cuddle up to male!Reader for warmth Ghost and Konig waking up to cuddling male!Reader ^^Part 2 Ghost and Konig (separate) having M!Reader be their gay awakening

The Imperfects:

Nothing yet!

Encanto:

Nothing yet!

Girl From Nowhere:

Nothing yet!

Metal Lords:

Nothing yet!

Dc Universe:

Batfam being jealous of the readers pet/animal Batboys reacting to Tim Drake's "bad-boy" boyfriend Taking care of Batboys (seperately) after they got their wisdom teeth removed Batboys reacting to boyfriend!Reader smacking their ass and running away Batboys + Conner & Wally being caught wearing masc!Readers hoodie Batfam reacting to Tim Drakes boyfriend who is the Jokers son ^^Batfam reacting to Tim Drakes boyfriend who is the Jokers son pt2^^ Batboys reacting to getting hard during training with M!Reader Anthro!Batboys having their ears and tail expose their romantic feelings for male!reader Batfam reacting to Tim Drake making a contract with a demon!male!reader BatBoys reacting to them thinking male!reader called them a goodboy

Sugar Daddy!Bruce Wayne accidentally falling for male!sugar-baby!reader Bruce Wayne with an energetic anti-hero husband

Conner Kent accidentally using X-ray vision on trans!male reader

Male!Justice League members reacting to rogue!reader moving out of Gotham and into their city

Jason Todd reacting to male reader falling asleep on him Jason Todd reacting to a gn reader who can't swim Injured!Jason Todd waking up to Reader in his hospital room

Damian Wayne with a child!brother!Reader Damian Wayne being caught wearing his guy crushes hoodie

Dick Grayson reacting to a very cuddly male reader Dick Grayson waking up his cuddly guy crush Dick Grayson reacting to a sad!male!Reader needing cuddles

Hal Jordan's (Green Lantern) reaction to reader having a lot of lantern rings Hal Jordan (Green Lantern) x recovering!male!Readers Hal Jordan reacting to being bitten by masc!alien!Reader

John Constantine reacting to a food-pusher Reader John Constantine with a werewolf s/o (gn reader) Hungover!John Constantine waking up in a caring Readers bed John Constantine reacting to a male!Reader that reminds him of his younger self ^part 2. John Constantine reacting to similar!male!Reader reading his soul John Constantine being bullied by a cat in a pub John Constantine reacting to a Reader that smokes John Constantine having a demon!Reader be attached to him John Constantine reacting to reader being turned into a baby John Constantine reacting to male!Rader lighting his cigarette with John's

Kid Flash (Wally West) reacting to accidentally courting alien!reader Kid Flash (Wally West) with a night owl boyfriend Kid Flash (Wally West) accidentally petting one of winged!male!Readers arousal zones Kid Flash (Wally West) and winged!male!Reader finally getting together Kid Flash (Wally West) cudding male!naga!Reader Kid Flash (Wally West) with a partner who's part of the BatFamily

Tim Drake reacting to guy crush reader accidentally cuddling him Tim Drake reacting to Rogue!Reader flustering him Tim Drake with a caring and patient boyfriend Tim Drake with a boyfriend who's very physically affectionate

How Superman, Batman, Hal Jordan, The Flash, and John Constantine react to someone handing them the unconscious reader out of the blue How Batman and Superman reacting to their long-term partner being their worst enemy How Batman, Superman, Hal Jordan, and The Flash would react to gn magic user reader using a gun out of nowhere

How Wally West, John Constantine, Hal Jordan, Dick Grayson, and Conner Kent react to falling asleep on their crush (male reader) How Wally West, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, and Conner Kent taking care of their drunk guy crush How Dick Grayson, Wally West, Tim Drake and Conner Kent react to playing seven minutes in heaven with their guy crush How Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, and John Constantine react to their crush asking to play with their hair How Tim Drake and Damian Wayne react to their crush randomly asking them out in the middle of a conversation (seperate) How Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Wally West and Conner Kent (sperately) react to Alien!Panther!Male!Reader cuddling up to them randomly

How Justice League boys react to empathic color!alien reader turning pink around them How Justice League boys react to male!Reader being turned into a cat How the Young Justice League reacts to a male!Reader with an Eating Disorder

—

Back to directory;

[supercriminalbean]

Born this way

Spencer Reid x Trans male Reader.

Summary: Reid wants to introduce his trans boyfriend to the team, but first he has to deal with some family issues first.

Words: 21.8k

Warning: Transphobia. Homophobia. Swearing. Crying. Fluff. A Lot of Angst. Depression. Many mental breaks down. Panic attacks. Transphobe Gideon mentioned. Abusive family. Drug addiction mentioned. Alcohol consumed. If I have missed anything let me know. 

A/N: This one-shot means a lot to me by the way. But I’m sorry because this gets deep at points, yes I may have started projecting at certain points my bad. Reader is Gideon's son, Rossi Godson. There are a lot of cute Uncle Rossi moments in this. I love it. (I have many daddy issues he fixes them) I might write a part two where Jason and the reader fix their relationship. Also flashbacks of how Reader grew up and how Rossi and Aaron became protective of him. But that won’t be for awhile if I do, let me know If you would like that though. Thank you for your time.

1989

“No, I wanna dress like a Prince, don't wanna be a Princess” You whine as he holds up the brand new Cinderella dress he has just bought you.

“You want to be a prince” He sighs softly. He hates seeing you look so hurt at the sight of the new dress, he sets it back down. “Why do you want to be a prince huh, you just want to copy your older brother?” He already knew that wasn’t the real answer but he needed to know how you really feel, without him profiling you. 

“Because I’m a boy, and boys are meant to be Prince's not Princess” You stubbornly cross your arms looking up at him. A small mad looking smile on your face, one that looks crazily similar to your fathers.

“You're a boy huh, so now there's two little Gideon boys running around, Lord help us” He chuckles softly watching as your face lights up.

“I'm gonna be a better brother than my brother” You laugh squeaky, excited by his reaction. Your little child mind is already used to abuse and bullying, when expressing how you feel about your gender. So seeing how happy your uncle is for you, just makes your little heart flutter with happiness. 

“Have you told your dad yet?” He asks as he sits down on the couch beside you, trying his hardest to keep his smile on his face. He already knows how your parents feel about these types of ‘situations’.

“I told him the other day, he told me I’ll always be his daughter, I don’t understand why he won’t listen to me, him and mummy don’t get it” You sigh heavily leaning your head on his arm, you know your uncle will always listen to you. 

“I’ll talk to them Tesoro, we will get them to listen to you” He smiles sadly, knowing this is going to be a difficult road for you. “In the meantime, shall I go find your brother's old Prince’s costume” He looks down at you, seeing a big grin spreading across your face as you jump back up.

“Yessss, I'm going to be the best Prince Charming”

“Well Prince Charming, one day you are going to find your own Princess” He smiles as he gets up.

“Ew no way girls have cooties, I'm going to marry another Prince, Uncle Dave” You screw your face up at him which makes Rossi chuckle as he walks out. 

Growing up.

While growing up your dad seemed to always be working and was never around while you and your older brother grew up. You never had a good relationship with him or your mum, they never respect your pronouns or your chosen name. Your dad only started coming around to your gender identity once you moved out and started cutting him and your mum out of your life at age 18, (9 years ago.) But due to everything that happened when you were growing up, the relationship never healed between you and your parents. You haven't spoken to them in over 4 years now. You and your brother aren’t close but still talk occasionally, Stephen was always by your side growing up. He tried to be the overprotective brother you need in your life growing up.

Your Uncle Dave tried his best to stay in your life, but after he finished working with your Dad it became difficult. Their relationship was strained due to the fact he never liked the way your parents treated you. He always sent you postcards and letters whenever he went on his trips and even copies of his books. You were so proud of him when he became an author, your dad said he was full of himself. But you didn’t care, he was your Uncle and you told everyone about his books. You were barely able to catch up with him due to your parents but when you did he always bought you gifts, and even helped you with things that helped ease your gender and body dysmorphia. When you turn 20 he even gave you enough money to get top surgery. You remember crying in his arms and telling him how you wish he was your dad instead of Jason. 

When Dave got back into the FBI, 5 years ago. You had gotten angry with him, and your relationships with him started becoming strained. You were slowly losing touch but you knew deep down that the fatherly love he has for you could never die. 

2012.

You had been dating Spencer Reid for five months now, and the last five months had been amazing. It had taken a while to get used to his work schedule but it just made you value the time you spent with him more. Spencer treats you like a prince, when he spends time with you he makes sure he is focusing on you. He always tries to not bring work with him on dates, the occasional times when he would get called away he always made sure to make it for it. He would buy you coffees and books, then turn up at your workplace to surprise you when he gets home early from a case. Spencer loves surprising you, seeing the way your face lights up when he would just walk into your job.  

You always tell Spencer that he spoils you too much, but he disagrees. He doesnt think he spoils you enough. He knows you deserve to be showered with more gifts and when he's with you, he wants to show you how much he cares about everything you have to say. He loves hearing you rambling about your days, he knows you never got that type of attention beforehand. It breaks his heart when you apologise for talking too much, especially about the things you love. He understands what it can feel like when people say talking too much is a bad thing, but that is something he strongly disagrees with. The joy and excitement he feels when you talk, warms him up like nothing ever has before.

~~~

Spencer Reid loves being your Boyfriend because of how sweet and adorable you are with him, making sure he always knows how much you care for him. You might not be the type of guy to send texts, telling him how much you love and miss him when he's away. Instead you send him texts asking him if he has eaten yet, asking him how much sleep he has had that day. Telling him off gently, if you don’t get the response you like, which results in him smiling and blushing, specially when you praise him for doing his best during tough cases. He remembers the time the team had finally figured out he was dating, only due to the fact he wouldn't stop smiling at one of your texts.

Flashback.

The team had been away on a case for four days and they were close to finding the identity of the unsub, and tracking down the whereabouts of him. Currently Hotch and Rossi were on their way back from the morgue, stopping to get dinner on the way back. JJ, Emily, and Morgan were sitting at the table discussing the profile and victimaliz. All of them glance over at Reid occasionally, who's standing in front of the map, but he is seemingly more interested in his phone. Spencer's face is covered in the biggest grin the three profilers have ever seen from him. His eyes having this different sparkle in them, as he types away quickly. Emily smirks at the other two, raising her eyebrow, the other two give her the knowing look. Everyone has noticed how happy Reid had been the last few weeks, making everyone talk in between themself. They had all come to the conclusion that he was indeed dating. Morgan and Emily were certain it was a girl he was talking to, but JJ and Garcia had disagree they were pretty sure he was hiding the fact it was a boy. Hotch and Rossi weren’t getting into that part of the conversation, just shaking their heads at the childish argument their team were having. Reid had come out years ago about being bisexual, but no one had ever met any of his dates before. He liked keeping that part of himself private until he was sure it was serious.

~~~

“So pretty boy, who's got you smiling like that?” Morgan smirks, calling out to him, pulling Reid away from his thoughts. Blushing as he looks up at the three profilers who are spread around the table, all gawking at him.

“Shut it Morgan” Reid clears his throat awkwardly, shoving his phone into his pocket.

“Aw come on Reid that's not polite” Emily teases him, her elbows resting on the table, her chin resting in her hands lending towards the poor boy. “You should apologise by telling us why you were smiling at your phone like that” Emily smirks as Morgan and JJ snigger quietly. Reid cheeks burn lightly as he sits back down, allowing himself to smile at the thought of telling his friends all about you. 

“Wait wait, hold up, look at that little smile on his face” Morgan teases him, leaning over pinching his cheeks quickly. Only to get swatted away.

“You normally tell us to back off Spence, this person must be special huh?” JJ smiles softly at Reid, as Morgan sits back at his seat chuckling as Reid nods at her smiling softly. 

~~~

Hotch and Rossi arrive, with Garcia on the phone. Making the team put their conversation on hold and back onto the case. Garcia gives them more information on their victims and could be unsub. Reid could feel his phone vibrating, holding back a small smile knowing that it's you. Once Garcia has ended the phone call, the team finally starts getting into their dinner, giving Reid the chance to check the texts you had sent him. It took all his strength not to let out a small chuckle.

Bean:  You better have had you dinner by now Spency, cos Bubbles sure is digging in.

The photo you had sent finally loading on his phone. It was you snuggled up on the couch, under your comfort blanket trying to eat your favourite takeaway, with your cat trying to steal it from the container. 

~~~

Spencer couldn't stop the small laugh that escaped the laugh that leaves his lips, staring at the photo. He couldn’t believe how much joy he could feel, from just seeing a small glimpse of you on his phone. Deciding he would also send a photo back of himself with his dinner, picking up his food quietly, not paying attention to the rest of the team. If Reid was paying attention he would have noticed how quiet the room has gotten after his small laugh, how everyone kept giving each other the look. How Morgan has now gotten up and is making his way over to stand behind Reid, crouching down so he can look at his phone thinking he can go without being noticed. The team having to suppress their laughter watching Morgan trying to be sneaky, the big grin across his face quickly fades to an ‘Oh shit I’ve been caught’ look. When he realises Reid's front camera is open, and that he's just photobombed Reids selfie.  

“Morgan you ruined my photo” Reid groans, putting his phone down, turning around to glare at the man, while the team laughs at them. Morgan chuckles awkwardly, giving him his best older brother face. 

“Hey it's not my fault, if you would just tell us who's got you being so secretive, I wouldn’t need to be looking over your shoulder” Morgan smirks as he sits down beside him, playfully pretending to pick up Reid's phone. Reid quickly swats his hand away, moving his phone away.

“Can’t me and my boyfriend have some privacy around here” Reid smirks softly. Unlocking his phone again, sending you the photo of him and Morgan to you. 

~~~

“Ha, you two owe me and Garcia drinks next night out” JJ cheers happily. Smirking at Emily as she groans. 

“Wait, you guys bet on me being in a relationship?” Reid asks looking up, giving them a pointed look.

“Oh no it was clear you were in a relationship” Hotch smirks, shaking his head.

“They betted on whether or not it was with a girl or a guy” Rossi adds in, chuckling. 

“Speaking about bets, how long have you two been dating for?” Morgan asks, wiggling his eyebrows at the kid who blushes lightly. 

“Can you guys stop betting on my lovelife please, and officially we’ve been dating 12 weeks and 2 days” 

“Atta boy, that means I win” Rossi raises his drink up at Reid, making the team break out in laughter once more.

“So Spence, when do we get to meet this mystery boy of yours?” JJ asks, smiling at him, even if he's been trying to hide it. She hasn’t seen him this happy in years, and wants to meet and check out whoever this new person is in her best friend's life.  

“Oh uh I don’t know maybe in a few weeks” Reid shrugs “It's still all new, but trust me when you guys meet him, you will all love him, he's amazing” A smile creeps across his face, one that's full of love and hope. One the team hasn't seen him wear before, they can’t wait to watch Reid on the road of love. 

 End flashback.

You’re laying on the couch reading one of David Rossi books, it’s one of your comfort books when you’re having a bad day. You keep glancing at the clock, time seems to be passing by slowly tonight, just waiting for your boyfriend to turn up. Getting tired of waiting, you pick up your phone, rereading the last text saying he had land and he would be leaving the office in 15. That was 40 minutes ago, would you seem too clingy if you rang him, asking where he was? You probably would, but seeing as you haven't seen him in almost a week you didn’t really care anymore. Pressing the call button beside his name, moving the phone beside your ear, waiting for him to answer. 

“Hello this is Dr Reid” His voice rings out, sounding so professional. But you could just tell how exhausted he is, not even looking at the caller ID.

“Well hello Dr Reid, mm you almost sound like a professional, Amore” You tease him softly, hearing his soft laugh escape him.

“Hey (Y/n), I'm sorry I'm running a little behind with this paperwork, If Morgan didn’t keep distracting me I would be done by now” He sighs dramatically, hearing some voices in the background, and what sounds like some struggling. Laughing at the childish behaviour, you could just imagine what was happening. That being your boyfriend and his best friend joking with each other again. Spencer has told you many, many stories of their pranking wars before, and you could only feel sorry for their team. 

“Hey no no no Morgan, get off me Derek get off” Spencer grunt out at the man, trying to shove him away. But he's too late as Morgan manages to snatch the phone out of his hand and rushes away from the boy. 

~~~

“So this must be Spencer's boyfriend, (Y/n) right” Derek's cheekily voice breaks through the phone as you laugh, guessing what has just happened. 

“That's me, Derek right, did you steal my boyfriend's phone just to talk to me?” You laugh, albe to put his voice to his face. Remembering the photo Spencer sent you a couple months ago that Derek had accidentally photobombed.

“Oh that I did, I need to know who keeps distracting and making my pretty boy blush all the time” Derek chuckles softly, and you could hear Spence protesting in the background.

“Aw I make him blush, guess I'm just that special” Laughing quietly, shaking your head, “I guess I just have the effect on men, just wait until you meet me in person Derek”

“Ohh that I can not wait to do baby, trust me Reid can not shut up about you we all are dying to meet you so we better be meeting you soon or Garcia is going to die from not being able to gossip away with you” Derek explains dramatically, you thought. 

“Well I'm sure I can meet you all soon, Just once I can get our schedules all organised for once” You promise him, smiling. Enjoying the idea of meeting the team that your boyfriend never seems to be able to stop talking about. 

“Okay, Finally” Derek cheers happily, as you hear a few Reid nosies, before Morgan yells a quick bye.

“Im back” Reid huffs laughing, earning a soft chuckle from you.

“So that was Derek Morgan huh?” 

“Oh that it was, looking if it's too soon, we don’t need to worry about all this” Spencer's words start rushing and mumbling together, like they do when he gets too nervous. Quick to calm his nerves down, you cut him off.

“Spence, I would love to meet your team one day soon, but right now I just miss you, when are you leaving, because I really want cuddles and so we can talk about our week and just relax” You smile slightly, hearing his breathing relax. Knowing his shoulder would have just rolled backwards in the same motions.

“I’m putting my files away right now then I’m on my way to your place, I’ll be there in 15” Spencer tries to relax from your words, but something in your tone just doesn't sit right with him. He still doesn’t know why you rang him, normally you would just wait for him to turn up even an hour late.“Hey so why did you ring before, is everything alright?”

“Yeah I'm fine bambino, I’ll see you soon, I love you” Your voice comes off trying to sound strong, forcefully.

“Okay, I love you too (Y/n)” A chorus of Awws and cheers ring through the phone before Spencer hangs up.

~~~

You were in the Kitchen cleaning the bench when you heard the door open, hearing Spencer footsteps and his quiet voice talking to the cat. Who ran straight over to him, meowing happily to see her second favourite human. 

“Hey (Y/N), where are you?” Spencer calls out, quickly giving Bubbles a small pat. His smile fading as his eyes scan across the living room, hearing you call back from the kitchen. He couldn’t help but profile the room, even if he didn’t do it as a job it would be hard to miss that something was wrong. One of your comfort movies is playing, the one you watch on repeat when you're feeling low and anxious. You never like leaving your dishes or trash around, worried it would attract mice and rats. But today, there are empty cans of soda and energy drinks and packets of snacks, shoved behind the couch. Your weighted blankets laid careless on the ground, covered in crumbles. Something you hate, due to the fact it normally makes you feel even more dirty and itchy. Otherwise the room looks spotless like you had done a deep clean of the whole room the day early. Placing his bag down on the couch, as he makes his way over to the kitchen, he can't help but notice how the house looks and smells completely cleaned. As if you have deep clean every surface you could, which he knows you like to do when you're feeling powerless. 

~~~

You're standing in front of the fridge, staring absently into it, not even noticing Spencer approaching. You're looking exhausted, with dark bags underneath your eyes. Your face is paler than normal, your body looking sluggish. Letting out a soft irritated sigh, as you close the fridge with a bit more force than you meant to. 

“Hey Beanie” Spencer speaks your nickname softly. He walks over slowly, watching you worried. You flinch at the noise, flinging around to look at where those words came from. 

“Oh hey, um sorry, I must have been distracted” You smile weakly, turning around to give him a welcome home hug. That he happily embraces, wrapping his arms around you. Resting his head on your shoulder, as you hide your head in his chest. His eyes roam around the kitchen seeing a large pile of dishes just been recently washed, still drying. He could feel how tired your body is in his arms, the way your breathing is more deep and controlled. Almost as if you're focusing on matching your breathing to his. Something you do when your anxiety plays up in public, or when you’re having trouble trying to sleep. 

~~~

When you slowly pull away from his warm arms, looking up at him. His concerned eyes staring down into yours, his hand gently cups your check.

“Are you alright, love?” His voice stays soft, not wanting to overwhelm you.

“Im fine, you're the one who just came back from a week long case” You brush off his question, breaking eye contact with him as you lie. You're not ready to tell him how you're feeling inside, scared you would fall apart right there in his arms. It wouldn’t be the first time he would see you cry, but that doesn’t mean you like letting your boyfriend watch you break apart. 

“Don’t do that” He sighs, as you step back refusing to look at him. “Don’t avoid the question, you now I can tell something isn’t right, I'm here when your ready to tell me about it” 

Nodding in response, still refusing to look at him again. “I know” Taking a deep breath, slowly glancing back at him, taking him in properly this time. His eyes have small bags underneath, the clothing he's wearing have small marks and stains on the tops. Knowing his clothes usually get dirty when he's been rushing to finish cases. Taking in his body langues seeing how stress and tired he looks. Starting to feel guilty for adding to his pile of stress, hating how you can’t just handle your own emotions and personal issues without him noticing. 

~~~

“Spence, why don’t you go have a shower and I’ll make us some dinner, then we can watch some tv” You smile weakly at him, he watches you carefully as he thinks about it.

“You don’t need to cook, it's getting late you know”

“I know, but you probably have been living off takeaways all week”

“And one more day won’t kill me” He smirks lightly, making you laugh quietly.

“You know what, I think I have Pizza in the freezer, think that will do?” You smirk, shaking your head lightly, as you walk over opening the freezer door. Spencer walks over wrapping his arms around your waist. Resting his head on your shoulder hiding his face in the crock of your neck.  

“Frozen pizza and cuddles sounds perfect to me” He exhales, kissing your neck gently. You smile softly, relaxing into his touch. 

“Good, now go shower” 

~~~

You're laying on the couch, the food waiting on the table beside you as you scroll through the tv channel, looking for something new to watch. Getting lost in the cooking show that is playing, patting Bubbles who's happily snuggled down in your lap. Spencer walks out seeing you cuddled up on the couch smiling a little, the worry for you still hasn't eased up. 

“Hey, what are you watching?” He calls out quietly so as to not startle you, walking over to the couch. Settling down beside you, giving Bubbles a few pats when she meows for attention, again. 

“Some cooking show, they are meant to be making pasta but they are doing it all wrong” You sigh, shaking your head at the contents on the television. “Do they not know your not suppose to burn the onions before you add them to the dish, also the way they are handling the pasta is horrible they need to be delicate with it, not ruthless like come on” Huffing lightly, as you move yourself to cuddle into Spencer shoulder, being carefully to not disturb Bubbles to much. Leaning into his touch as he wraps his arm around your shoulders, relaxing slowly into his touch. The heat from the shower rationing off his body, his light chuckle being the exact combination you need for your body to be able to relax and know that you're safe. 

“Someone knows their pasta” He smirks softly, feeling a bit more confident feeling you relax in his arms. 

“Oh I do, I was taught from a young age all the correct things to do if you want to make the perfect pasta, If you don’t feel like doing it right then stay out of the kitchen I use to be told” Laughing lightly, reaching over to grab the plate of pizza seating beside you. “I told him I would just order pizza instead” 

“So you have always been sassy since a young age?” Spence's laugh is light as air and full of joy and sweetness. Reaching for a slice of the pizza watching you as he eats.

“Oh definitely, I blame my Uncle. He may have taught me how to make amazing pasta but that means he also taught me his Italian sarcasm as well” Your laughter starts dying off after you mention your Uncle. Glancing down quickly trying to avoid Spencer stares as you grab a piece of pizza. Starting to eat and turn back to the tv, letting the conversation drop out. 

~~~

You keep trying to get back into the show but you can’t seem to focus, your mind keeps wandering back to your family. The text message you had received the other day having just hurt you more than you really think it would. The one guy who was suppose to still be by your side, was once again choosing your parents over you. Fuck the pain in your chest feeling just like it had when you were in high school. Sniffling quietly, not even noticing the tears sliding down your cheeks as you will yourself to pay more attention to the people on the television. Spencer glances down at you, feeling you move closer into his side. His face dropping instantly as he notices the tears sliding down your face. The hopeless look in your eyes going straight to his heart. His hand slides across your shoulder, cupping your face gently wiping away at the tears softly. 

“Love, what's wrong?” He whispers lovingly, his hand staying firmly on your face as you look up at him.

“N nothing bambino, it's the Tv show, it's just so sad” You laugh fakely knowing how bad the lie is, sighing as you shrug your shoulders. 

“That's crap, I know you love pasta, but crying because they add the wrong cheese to the dishes” Spencer half laughs giving you a look, pulling his hand away, as you pull away from him, sitting up straightly. Bubbles meows angrily as she jumps off your lap, running away, Spencer leans over, placing the empty dinner plate and turning the T.V off with the remote. 

~~~

“That's it talk to me” Spencer turns to face you properly, watching you closely, picking up on your body langues. The way it tenses as you straighten up more, turning to look at him, your eyes spinning with emotions. Crossing your legs underneath you, you're trying everything you can to try and seem smaller.

“It's just been a hard week, works been so busy this week, all the shipment for the bookshop is behind and we are so under staff at the moment, it's just getting to me I guess” You exhale deeply, avoiding his stare, instead you focus on the small scratch on the wall behind him. “Also I ran into someone the other day, which brought up some unwelcome memories from years ago I guess, I know I should just get over it because it wasn’t even that big of a deal but somehow they just won’t leave my brain alone” Letting out an mentally exhausted breath, feeling the walls you built up slowly come down. Your hands playing with each other in your lap, helping with your anxiety. “I thought I worked through my issues. I told myself once I was done with them I would never think of them again, but just seeing him again it” Your voice trails off slowly as it begins to waver with sadness and anger, blinking back a few tears that start to appear. Your eyes flick over to Spencers as you feel his hand gently take yours in his. His eyes send a warm, soft feeling into your heart, making you feel safe. His hazel eyes having always had that effect on you since the moment you met him. Smiling softly as you feel the love and affect he can give you with no words. Actions always meant more to you than words ever did. 

“Love, did you really work through your trauma or did you just bury it away and pretend it never existed?” He kept his voice soft and careful of the way he worded it. Studying you closer, watching as the realisation and devastation hits, the light in your eyes slowly disappears.

“Your right, I thought hiding from my problems would fix it” Taking a deep breath as you feel a sharp pain hitting your chest, suddenly a painfully wrenching cry pushes its way out of you. With such a powerful force that shoves you forward, almost off the couch. Spencer moves swiftly, wrapping you up in his arms before you could fall. 

~~~

“I'm sorry I’m so sorry, I shouldn't be crying others have It worse” You ramble through the crying. Trying so hard to fight the breakdown your body is compelling you to have. 

“Stop it, stop it, you need to let it out, it's healthy to let your emotions process and I'm right here I'm not going anywhere” He whispers firmly, his lips pressing against your forehead. His arms around your waist securely, pulling you even further into his chest. Your hands grab ahold of his hoodie, needing something to hold as you break down in his arms. The flashbacks of everything your parents used to say to you growing up, fresh in your mind. The way they use to make you feel, the empty feeling when they wouldn’t show up to your important events. Your brother is always more important than you, to both of your parents. Your father always ignored him as well, work to him was always his number one purpose. But he would still openly love him more than you.

~~~

Trying to shake those memories and feelings out of your mind, taking a deep breath calming yourself down steadily. Listening to your boyfriend's heartbeat and never noticing that something so quiet could be so loud and make the most beautiful pattern in times of need. Slowly you loosen your grip on his hoodie, pulling your hands away to wipe your face. 

“Thank you” Mumbling under your breath as you take a small breath trying to find the strength to face him.

“Don’t need to thank me, I'm alway here for you” Spencer smiles lovingly down at you, as he moves your hair out of your face carefully.

“I know but still I’ve never had someone stay with me when I’ve cried the way I do, It means alot not having to hide my feelings” Smiling lightly, as you move more into a comfortable cuddling position. 

“Well I’m glad you can do that with me now” He smiles back, kissing your forehead, his arms wrapping around you. 

~~~

“So do you want to tell me who you ran into the other day?”

Sighing softly as you lean your head into his lap, closing your eyes.

“I saw my brother out and about with his girlfriend and my niece. So I was going to go over and say hi, but then I saw my dad was walking over to them. He was catching up to have coffee with them” Opening your eyes as you spit the last piece out with venom. Spencer stares down at you with pity and understanding. “Don’t look at me like that” Sighing as you cross your arms. 

“Okay I'm sorry you know i'm just worried about you, but why would your brother be catching up with your dad I thought he didn’t like him either”

“Well he reached up to Stephen a couple years ago, they’ve been trying to mend their relationship ever since then apparently. I just don't get why he would want him back in his life or even in his kids life, why would he want to do that” Shaking your head in frustration. 

“Maybe he's changed?” He shrugs, throwing out some suggestions. Stupid suggestions in your opinion. 

“No way, he's not capable of change” 

“Everyone is capable of changing you just need to allow them time to change”

“He had my whole life, I think that was enough time don’t you?” You retort back, rolling your eyes at him.

“Okay okay, I'm just trying to give ideas here.” Spencer defines himself, running his hand through your hair, calmly.

“Your right, I’m sorry I just thought Stephen would always be on my side when it came to our parents guess I was wrong, oh did I tell you what he said to me once I comfort him in text messages yesterday” Scoffing out, leaning your head further into his hand just like a cat does getting head scratches. 

“What did he say?”

“He told me that they had been meeting up behind my back for years and when I was told that my Nieces birthday party was cancelled last month, well it wasn’t cancelled I was just uninvited because our parents were going to be there and they didn’t want ME to start an argument” Huffing feeling emotionally drained. “I never start the arguments Spence I just stand up for myself, defend myself when I have to but apparently that's not allowed” Whimpering softly as you close your eyes, allowing yourself to sink evenfurther into his body. 

“I know baby, family isn't everything you know that right, I accept you and so will my family as well as my team. Garcia will demand we go to pride parades with her, you're going to love her” Spencer speaks bubbly, trying to lift your mood. Smiling softly as he watches the anger and sadness wash away from your face.  

“Thank you, I can’t wait to meet your team and also your mum one day” you smile up at him hopefully.

“Oh she has been begging me to bring you to meet her everytime I call her, I don't know how much longer we can hold off for” He laughs softly.

~~~

The next morning you were half surprised to wake up with your boyfriend's arms still wrapped around your waist. Normally he always gets called away for a case, so being able to sleep in with your boyfriend is definitely a treat. Smiling softly as you tilt your head up which is resting comfortable on his chest. Watching how peacefully he looks as he sleeps, all the worries and the concerns gone from his mind for a few hours. His messy wavy hair covering half his face, his lips a little swollen from the activities from the night before. The light hickeys on his neck make your chest burn with pride as you take them. Rubbing small circular patterns on his chest, taking deep breaths, breathing in his scent. The weight of all the stress from the last few days having been taken off. All by just having your boyfriend to listen to you and love you without judgement. 

~~~

“Morning love” Spencer's raspy morning voice breaks the silence of the room, smiling down at you on his chest. 

“Mm good morning bambino” You smile up at him, leaning up to kiss him gently. His hands resting softly against your naked back. “How did you sleep?” You ask after you break the kissing snuggling back down.

“Pretty well, better than I have in weeks” He smiles softly, running his hands down your back, leaving a trail of goosebumps. “How was your sleep, beans?”

“It was great, someone tired me out great last night” You tease him, your hand slows down rubbing circle patterns on his chest. 

“Mmm oh did I now?” He smirks down at you, a knowing look in his eyes. His hand slides down from your hair, sliding on to your neck tracing the hickeys he left the night before. Feeling the blood rush to your checks, biting your lips to stop the groan from slipping through your lips.

“Oh yeah you did Spence” Pulling away from the touch on your neck as you roll yourself on top of him. Your hands resting on the bed frame above his head, smirking down at him. He gazes up at you, need and lust in his eyes, licking his lips slowly as he takes you in. His hands come to slide up your back, holding you still as he pulls himself up to sit up properly.

Letting out a small whimper as you grind against him lightly, he laughs quietly as he brings you into another kiss. One of his hands slides up from your back to run through your hair. Yanking at it slightly, because you’re teasing him, grinding against him, smiling cheekily at him.

“Oh no you don’t Amora” Smirking as your hand slides down to his neck. Both of you jumping lightly at the sudden knocking at the door. 

“Just ignored it, it's properly the neighbours asking for something” You whisper leaning back down, kissing him harder as your hand wraps gently around his throat. His hand drops from your hair to slide down your body. Groaning softly into your mouth, letting you regain control over him.

“(Y/n) I know your home, open your door!” A familiar voice yells out banging even louder on the door, making you groan frustratedly as you pull away from your boyfriend.

“Oh for fucksake” Huffing as you look down at the confused look on Spencer's face.

“Ah who is that?”  Spencer asks, his eyebrows raising as he releases his grip on you as you regrettably get off him.

“My brother, please stay in here, this is not how you two are meant to meet” You sigh as you walk out quickly, pulling on some pants.

~~~

The banging and yelling continues at the door as you rush around quickly. Throwing one of your shirts on not having time to button it up as you're opening up the door. 

“Hold on Stephen Im coming” You yell as you yank the door open. Staring up at him irritated, crossing your arms. “Why the hell are you here so early on a saturday morning Stephen seriously” 

“It's not that early, it's 9:30, you should be up by now” Stephen sighs, taking in your appearance as he walks in shutting the door behind him.

“Well I had a bit of a late night, and it was suppose to be a bit of a fun morning before you turned up” You smirk, glaring at him. Earning a disgusting gagging noise in return, along with an eye roll.

“I did not need to know that you have someone in the bedroom right now (Y/n), that's disgusting come on I don’t want to know how many one night stands you have” He shakes his head, disgusted at the thought of his brothers sex life.

“Oh shush It's just my boyfriend, I told you about him, remember?” 

“Oh right sorry, I didn’t realise you two were still serious.”

“Okay well Stephen why the hell are you here, I thought I already told you to fuck off the other day” You sigh allowing your anger to simmer down, leaning against the wall.

“Oh can you just chill out for a little while please, I know what I did was wrong and I already apologised I'm actually here about something else” Stephen exhales already regretting how this conversation is going. He wanted you to be in a more relaxed, forgiving mood before giving you this letter but it was too late to start again.

“Okay what is it, what's going on you have that look on your face” Your eyes narrow watching him closely, curiously. 

“It's about dad, he wants to talk to you he's sor—”

“No, no I don't want to talk about him” Standing up straight, your body becoming more tensen. The concern you have now fading back into the anger that is still fresh in your veins.

“(Y/n) please he's changed hes—”

“Has he changed, or has he only changed for you?” Scoffing lightly as you glare at him, trying to stop your voice from getting too loud. “How many times did you need to correct him on my pronouns or my name huh, he might spend time with you but that doesn’t mean he's changed enough to accept me” Your voice starts breaking a little at the end. Breaking eye contact with your brother as you feel the anger turning into tears.

“I didn’t have to, Dad respected you the other week at the birthday party. He even corrected other people about your pronouns, just give him one more chance” Stephen begs you softly, pulling something out of his pocket, staring at you when you don't respond. “He wrote you a letter, wanted me to give it to you” He held it out to you, but you didn't move to grab it. Your arms shaking mildly, your heart pounding away. The panic rises higher in your chest, making it feel like you're drowning. 

~~~

“Get out” You manage to mumble out, looking over at him finally. Stephen staring at you looking defeated.

“No, (Y/n) please you need to understand how he has changed please” Stephen begs, knowing its falling on empty ears.

“I think it's best you leave now” A voice appears behind you both. None of you had noticed that Spencer had entered the living room.

“I just wanted to explain everything to him” Stephen tries to explain to Spencer, almost begging him to understand.

“And you did that, but now it's time you go, He will text you later” Spencer speaks with a neutral tone. Trying his best to keep calm as he walks towards the door opening it wide for Stephen. Stephen sighs giving up, giving you one final look, as he walks out the door only stopping as he gets to Spencer. Holding the letter out to him with one last pleading look, Spencer takes it with a small nod closing the door behind him. 

~~~

You're lying down on the couch after taking a long hot shower. Calming down after the altercation with your brother early, playing on your phone as you do so. Sighing softly, feeling frustrated, why does your family have to be so complicated. The only family member who was always there for you, you haven't spoken to in months. After having a stupid, pointless argument with. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Spencer asks softly, as he sits near you, looking at you closely, with concern. The argument he had overheard early was wretching to hear. The pain in your voice, the tears and pain on your face hitting straight into his heart. He knows how much you value your brother's opinions, and knowing how much it must hurt you to think he betrayed you by taking your fathers side.  

“Im okay, Im sorry he ruined our morning early” You smile weakly trying to make a joke out of it all.

“It's okay, do you want to talk about” He places a comforting hand in your hair. You move  closer to him, lifting your head into his lap.

“Don’t want to talk about them any more” You shake your head, thinking about your Uncle instead. About how supportive he always is when it comes to family problems, no matter how old you are.

~~~

“I’ve told you stories about my Uncle Dave right?” You look up at Spences, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“The one who also works for the FBI right?” He questions, looking down at you. Confused at the change of subject.

“Yeah him. He was my rock growing up, the only one who ever accepted me for me” You smile lightly, staring up at the ceiling. “He was the best guy I ever had in my life, when my parents let me down he was always there picking up the pieces, he made sure he came to every single one of my events. He knew my parents were never there, he would get so mad at my dad. They used to be best friends, technically Daves my Godfather but I call him my Uncle” You smile increases as you talk about him. 

“He sounds like a great man, he's the one who gave you money to get top surgery right, the one who supported you through university when you wanted to become a writer” Spencer smiles as he sees you become more relaxed, lighting up as you speak about your Uncle.

“Yes him, dad always thought it was stupid but not Dave, he thought it was awesome, he's actually a writer as well” You take a breath as you feel your words leaving too quickly. “Once he retired from the FBI the first time around, he wrote his first book and became a famous author, I guess he inspired me a little bit to follow my dreams” 

“You know you still haven’t let me read any of your writing” Spencer teases you, running his hand through your hair.

“And you never will my love” You laugh, rolling your eyes playfully at him.

“Oh no you will show me one day” He smirks, “Okay, so your Uncle he's back in the FBI now, so what does he do?” 

“Oh I think he's in a similar field to you actually he's a profiler” You stand up, stretching a little feeling Spencer eyes ranking over your body, smirking to yourself. Walking over to your bookshelf that sits by the tv, pulling out one of David Rossi books.

~~~

“Actually he is one of the co-founders of the Behavioural analysis unit, back then it was known as behavioural science unit though, him and my dad found it together” You smile at Spencer as you sit back down but it quickly fades as you meet Spencer's eyes. His eyes fill with shock horror as he takes in the information you have just presented to him. “Spence, are you okay?” Your voice comes out quietly. Thinking or more likely hoping, that maybe he might just be surprised that you're related to famous FBI agents. 

“David Rossi, your uncle?” Spencer's voice comes out slowly, barely above a whisper, his eyes bouncing down to the book in your hand. “That would make Gideon your dad?” He gulps, his eyes widen as he puts the pieces together. Wondering to himself how he never noticed this beforehand, how could he be dating his mentor's son?

“Yeah Gideon, legally my last name” Taking a deep breath trying to decipher what his reaction is meant to mean. “Do you know them?”

“Jason Gideon was my mentor that I’ve told you about” 

“Wait wait wait, the one who got you into the FBI and the BAU unit at such a young age, that one?”

“Yeah him, he never mentioned that he had another child” Spencer's words come out with a mix of surprise and disgust at everything that he is learning about his old mentor and friend.

“I'm not surprised he tried not to mention me unless he had to” Taking his hand as you see it squeeze into a tight fist of anger. “I'm sorry Amore if I realised I wouldn’t have told you the way I did, I didn't put two and two together when you were saying Jason I just assumed it was a different Jason from the FBI” You sigh feeling guilty, upset that you may have just ruined your lovers view of his mentor. You know how much he idolises him and looks up to him. 

~~~

“It's okay, how did I not know your last name Gideon?” Spencer looks at you confused, raising an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side like a lost puppy does

“I normally go by my Mum maiden last name, it was better that why when I was going through university I just kept it that way” you shrug, it wasn’t something you meant to keep from him.

“That makes sense” He nods, still trying to wrap his head around it.

“So um, do you also know my Uncle, well Godfather David Rossi?” 

“Um yeah yeah I know him” Spencer half laughs nervously, looking at you guilty. “I work with him, that's the Dave I refer to, I spend more time with him than I do with you”

You can't help the laugh that leaves you, clapping a hand over your mouth quickly. “No fucking way, seriously?”

“Yeah seriously, Rossi teases me all the time about you, wait until he finds out I'm dating his godson” Spencer rubs his temple feeling the stress arise, grinning wide at you. 

“Oh no no no, We are not telling him anytime soon Spencer no way” Shaking your head, laughing. “Hell no, he will kill you, he might love you but he will kill you, he's way too overprotective some days. He doesn’t even know I’m dating right now”

“What, no you can’t expect me to hide this from him”

“Um yes I do, not forever just for now” You smile at him knowing you will win. “I’ll tell him I'm dating someone and we will break it to him slowly okay, but I love you and he is not breaking anymore of my relationships up”

“Anymore?” His eyebrow raising in concern and fear. “Do I want to know?” 

“Probably not Amore Mio” Chuckling softly as you lean in kissing him.

~~~

As the morning moves on, Spencer leaves to go home, having chorus he needs to get done before he gets called away on a case again. Hopefully if he doesn’t get a case that means another movie night with you tonight. But to fill in the gap of him being gone this saturday afternoon you decided it's time to fix a bridge you broke. Picking up your phone and clicking on his icon, listening to the rings. Waiting with anxiety as he takes his time to answer.

“Uh hey (Y/n) ” Dave answer, completely surprise when he sees your name pop up on his phone. Happiness filling him at once when he saw it, only to be quickly replaced with dread. Hoping that you're not injured or hurt, holding his breath as he waits for your reply.

“Ah hey Dave, um sorry I hope you're not busy, are you?” You ask, biting your lip nervous, trying to stop your words from stumbling. 

“Busy no, I'm free, what's up” Dave's eyes narrow, worry filling up inside of him. It's been months since you two have last spoken.

“Do you fancy a cup of coffee, or maybe milkshakes, so we can catch up” Taking a deep breath “I need to apologise to you, I was unfair the last time we spoke and then avoiding you for months was not cool of me”

A small chuckle is heard on the other side of the line. “Caro its okay, milkshakes sound great”

“Okay good” You smile, letting out a deep breath of air “So our cafe in town, say in an hour?”

“Perfect I’ll see you then kiddo” Dave smiles with relief as he hangs up. 

~~~

You’re already sitting at the table in front of the cafe. Waiting in the sunlight sipping on your milkshake that has already arrived. You had ordered your favourite, along with Daves favourite which is salted caramel with chocolate. Sighing softly as you wait, having arrived early, you knew he wouldn’t be much longer. Your nervousness grew as you waited, wondering how you could explain why you have been ghosting him the last couple months. Deep down you know he's already forgiven you and was giving you space, it’s what he has always done when you two argue. 

~~~

“Ooh you got me my favourite, Angelo” Dave smiles interrupting your thoughts, standing up quickly as you see him approach you. Smiling as you feel your nervousness disappear as your eyes meet his, nothing but love and happiness present in him. 

“Davey Of course I did” You smile as he pulls you into a hug. Relaxing softly as you feel his arms wrap around you. Taking a deep breath, allowing yourself to accept the father hug you've been carving the last few weeks, but too scared to ask for. 

“I'm surprised you rang me” Dave says after you both have sat down, sipping his drink. 

“Yeah, I know it's been awhile since we last spoke, or really since I screamed at you, I'm really sorry Dave” You sigh, playing with your drink as you look up at him. Feeling his eyes studying you closely, a small smile growing on his face. 

“Its okay caro, I should of told you the truth when it all happened but I didn’t want to worry you”

“Dave you got stabbed of course I'm going to worry about you. Hell you're practically my only family, I can’t lose you” Exhaulling as you take a second to calm yourself feeling the rage you felt from the previous argument from months ago returning. “You could have died Dave and you hid that from me just like Dad used to and that scares me. I hated the fact of you went back to the FBI, because I was scared I would lose you, that we would lose touch or you would die, I know that sounds unreasonable but when you didn’t tell me you got stabbed it just felt like we were drifting apart, after all these years” Gulping as you look at him. Finally admitting everything you have been feeling. His eyes soften, his hands unwrapping around his drink leaning over to take yours, that's tapping the table repeatedly, a nervous tic you developed growing up.

“(Y/n) I’m okay, I know my job is dangerous but I know how to handle myself and I am careful when I'm in the field, my team always has my back”

“I know that, and I’m okay with the fact that your back on the team I get it now but I guess at first it was just hard to think why you would want to go back, but after all the stories you have told me, all the good ones I get it” Smiling a little, nodding at him. “Its apart of who you are”

“That it is, but I promise you we will never drift apart, I will always be here for you, no matter how many arguments we have okay, I see you as my son that's never going to change okay” His smile is full of love, giving your hand a small squeeze.

“Thank you, I mean you helped raise me, always being my number one supporter thanks Papà Pasta” You smile, chuckling softly, feeling the conversation getting too emotional. Dave shakes his head laughing at that choice of nickname.

“Is that nickname ever going to stop?”

“Oh never” You smirk cheekily at him as you sip your drink.

~~~

You two sit there drinking your milkshakes, catching up for almost an hour. Him telling you about the recent cases he has been on and your favourite part, the drama in his team. One thing about David Rossi is that he loves to gossip, he can keep so many secrets. But the ones that roam free, he will happily spill to you as long as you listen.

“We are still trying to convince Reid to introduce us to his boyfriend, I’ve never seen him so happy before, It's great to see the kid giving love a proper chance” Dave smiles, he alway gets excited talking about his team. He sees them like family, especially the younger ones, taking them under his wings like they're his own kids. You couldn’t believe you never connected the dots that his Reid is your own Spencer Reid. Half of you wanted to tell him right now that you're dating his co-worker, but he can get too protective when it comes to your love life. He has enough reason to, you have never been good at picking them, and he's had to point it out way too many times. This time you were hoping if you keep it quiet it might work out for once. 

“Aw well, I get him wanting to keep it quiet for now” Smiling softly, thinking about the words Dave has just used. How Spencer is so much happier with you, which just warms your heart. You sip on your drink trying to distract your brain from thinking about him, not needing your Uncle to pick up on anything right now.

“So is that why you haven't said anything about those hickeys on your neck” Dave smirks, sipping his milkshake. He’s been waiting for a moment to tease you about it. You choke lightly on your drink, splattering as you look back up, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks. 

“Excuse me, I have no idea what the fuck your on about” Shaking your head quickly, cursing yourself for not hiding it better.

“Hey language” Dave laughs, loving how shy you're going. He had noticed that you had tried to hide the hickey under bad makeup but it is just so easy to see.

“Fanculo” You smirk at him. “Anyway we are not going to talk about my hickeys or who gave them to me because that's weird talking my sex life”

“Okay okay fine, I’ll let it go, only because I'm not like my team and sticking my nose into other people's love life can get annoying” He smirks a little, shaking his head.

“Wait, do you have a love life David?” You wiggle your eyebrows up at him, swallowing down a laugh.

‘Hey hey hey, we aren’t talking about me here” He shakes his hands in front of him dramatically, making you laugh.

“Fine fine”

~~~

“So what's happening in your life?”

“Oh nothing, just work at the bookstore, I’ve had the last couple days off cos I haven’t really been feeling well but Im feeling better now, so back to work monday” Your smile flickers for a few seconds, trying hard to keep it up. But he doesn’t miss it, he already picked up that something wasn’t right, he was waiting for the right time to ask about it. 

“Okay that's it, tell me what's bothering you” Dave sighs, leaning back giving you that pointed look of his, one he’s used many times to get you to spill your secrets.

“It's not a big deal, I don’t want to bother you with this stuff again” Shrugging your shoulders, your voice trailing off as you glance down at the floor. 

“Hey its me, Its Uncle Davey, you can tell me anything it's never a bother” Dave speaks firmly, already having an idea about what this was about. 

“Did you know Jason back in town, He's been having coffee and reconnecting with Stephen and not only that but the other week for his daughter birthday he uninvited me so Dad and Mum could be there with no arguments” You huff out, wishing the anger would return to you but instead your just being hit with feelings of betrayal and despair. “I was looking forward to it for weeks and he lied to me about it being cancelled just so our asshole parents could be there, Mum I could on with for the sake of him but why the hell did dad have to be there, he was never there for us growing up” 

“(Y/n)” Dave starts, his tone soft, careful as he knew you were on the edge. Watching your body tensing up, the way your jaw clenches as your eyes widen holding back the tears.

“No no, I get it he was working but he always picked work over us Dave always. You were there more often than he was” Spitting out the words, as you take a deep breath wiping your eyes hard enough to dry them up. 

“I can’t excuse his past behaviours, nothing can, he should have done better, Stephen had no right to lie to you about it either but” He takes a breath watching your face hardens at his ‘but’. 

“But maybe he's trying now for Stephen and for his kid isn't that a good thing for him?” Dave says, he knows you don’t want to hear it, but it is a good thing for Stephen.

“I don’t want to see him get hurt again Dave, he's been through enough” Shaking your head as you cross your arms, not meeting his eyes.

~~~

“Okay, has he tried to reach out to you at all, is that why you're really upset at him?”

“You know I don’t really like profilers” Scoffing lightly as you let your arms fall to your side. 

“So this is what it's really about huh, he didn’t reach out to you and you want him to?” Dave smiles slightly watching you. You laugh coldly at him.

“No, at first maybe, It's always Stephen before me, I get it he's the better son, the ‘real’ son as they say. At first I was pissed that they had been having coffee for a while without reaching out to me, but then this morning Stephen showed up to my house after our argument the other day and” Exhaling letting yourself calm down, allowing your brain to gather your next words. “And this morning he showed up I thought he wanted to re-explain himself but no turns out, he was there on behalf of our father, he had a letter written for me, I didn’t want to deal with it so I told him to get out, he wouldn't listen, he finally left after my boyfriend opened the door and kicked him out” Groaning with frustration as you tell the story, not even noticing that you slipped up.

Dave sighs annoyed, shaking his head. “He doesn't know when to quit and give you a little bit of space does he, so your boyfriend dealt with him huh?” His lips twitch into a small smirk, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh crap, I let the cat out of the bag didn’t I?” Sighing, smiling a little. “Yes boyfriend, but yeah he had to come in this morning and ruin a perfectly good moment to I will add, with a stupid letter”

“I get this isn’t great but maybe it's time you talk to him maybe he's changed maybe he—” He cut off as his phone rings again. He checks it quickly before declining, placing it on the table, screen down. 

“That's the fourth time your phone rang this afternoon. If you need to go Dave it's okay” You reassure him. 

“No no it's fine, it's just an old friend, I’ll ring him back later” His smile falters a little, distracted.

“Okay, is everything okay?” You watch him feeling concerned.

“Im fine, we are talking about you, maybe you need to give Jason a chance, he might just miss you, it's been years since you have talked” He forced a small smile, avoiding eye contact, a little guilt in his eyes. You study him for a little bit thinking, the whole time you’ve been talking he hasn’t been surprised about anything at all. Normally he isn’t trying to get you to talk and forgive your dad like he is today. It's almost as if he’s already talked to him.

~~~

“You spoke to him, that's who's ringing you isn't it?” You accuse him, eyes widen as everything clicks into place. His face drops as he looks at you guilty, his eyes soften as he sighs lightly. 

“I'm sorry Tesoro, he got in contact with me a couple weeks ago. He knew we still talk and wanted to know the best way to get back in contact with you. I told him not to but after we caught up for a drink last week I noticed he changed. He wants you in his life, he knows how much he has messed up but he wants to make amends” Dave almost begs you to understand as he speaks. Staring at you, his eyes begging you for forgiveness as he studies you closely.

“I, I can’t, no” Shaking your head as you struggle to string words together, staring at him in disbelief. 

“(Y/n) please, I know it can be scary letting him back in your life, but he's changed all we talked about was you and Stephen. It was the first time I have ever talked to him and never had to correct him on your pronouns or names, he even referred to you as his son multiply times”

“That doesn’t make up for anything Dave, not with everything that has happened between us” Shaking your head as you feel the sharp pains stabbing you in the chest.

“I know but it's a start, isn't it?”

“I guess it could be but–”

“No more buts, answer me honestly, do you want a relationship with him?” He stares at you seriously. You look over at the road and watch a few cars drive pass by, thinking. You always dream of having him back in your life. Him calling you his son, spending quality time with him again. 

“Yeah, I think I do” Speaking quietly, looking back over at him.

“Then you need to let him in to allow it to happen, you know that” Dave smiles encouragingly at you.

“I know, I'm just over him hurting me, but I guess I can risk it one more time” You sigh, smiling weakly.

“Good, and if he does hurt you I will deal with him, happily” He smirks at you, tapping his drink with yours.

~~~

“So what's this about a boyfriend huh?” Dave smirks, leaning forward, his elbows perched up on the table resting his chin on his hands. 

“Oh him!” You groan playfully, biting your lip trying to stop the smile from growing too much.

“Yes him, why haven’t I heard about him before, how long has it been going on for?”

“Over five months now, coming up to six months soon, he is amazing, he is so cute he also–” You stop yourself shaking your head. Not needing to tell him anything more about him to your uncle, because he would figure it out Immediately.

“Almost six months and you never told me?” Dave glares slightly “Why are you hiding him?”

“Um well, you know how my relationship are they always go to fast so we wanted to take it slow, plus you always scare them off, not to mention what happened to Jimmy” 

“That's because I worry about you and the ones you pick weren’t good for you, if this guy is the right one then he has nothing to worry about” He smiles gently, before his eyes narrow. “But Jimmy, I didn’t do anything to Jimmy I was just there when his arm broke, that's what happens when he lays a hand on you” He shrugs his shoulders and glances at his phone before his eyes are back at you.

“Right right, you always say you just went to talk to him with Aaron when he merely tripped over” Rolling your eyes smiling a little.

“Exactly, so does this boyfriend of yours have a name?”

“Nope he does not, because I know if he did you would do a background search on him, but I can tell you he works for the FBI as well, so that's a good thing right?” Smirking at him as you see the gears turning in his head.

“Yes good thing so far, maybe I’ve worked with him”

“Maybe you have, you never know. I’ll introduce you one day just a couple more weeks, I just want to get through the family issues first then you two can meet”

“Perfect, then I can have you two over for pasta. He better knows how to cook” You both laugh at that. Shaking your head at the thought of Dave trying to teach Spencer how to cook.

~~~

You're cooking dinner when Spencer walks into your apartment, entering your kitchen.

“Hey Beans, what are you cooking?” Spencer asks, taking a strong sniff of the air smiling at the delicious smell.

“Spaghetti bolognese with fake pasta according to my Uncle” You laugh lightly, placing the dried pasta in the boiling pot of water.

“Only he would say that, wouldn’t he?” Spencer laughs quietly, leaning against the counter beside you. His eyes move over your body, studying you closely, before he left this morning you were a ball of nerves but now you seem completely different. You're more relaxed and joyful instead of stressed and anxiety filled. A grin spreads across your face as you sway along to the music playing in the background as you cook.

“So how was your day, Bambino?” You smile at him, feeling his eyes stuck on you, once more profiling you. It can get annoying most days but you know he doesn't mean to, most of the time and after the last few days events it makes sense for him to be a little worried.

“It was great, I caught up with Ethan at the coffee shop. He's just passing through town but it was great being able to catch up with him properly” He smiles happily, a little guilt in his eyes as he thinks back to the last time he saw him. “You know it's been 5 years since I last saw him, almost two years since we really spoke. I was surprised when he asked to catch up but it was great seeing where he is now with his career,” Spencer smiles, feeling proud of his friend. 

“5 years wow that's a long time, he's the one who lives in New Orleans right?” You glances at him slightly as you stir the dish.

“Yep, last time I saw him was on a case, that case was actually the case that my co-worker JJ met her boyfriend Will, they have a kid now too” He smiles weakly thinking back to that case. “It was also the case that finally pushed me to ask for help with my drug problem, Ethan pushed me to get helped” He looks up at you slowly meeting your eyes. His eyes are full of valuability, he doesn’t like talking about that part of his past. You already knew about his drug addiction, he's opened up a little bit about it but he still feels shamefully when he speaks about it.

~~~

“I'm glad he did, It takes a lot of strength to ask for help and now you're 4 years sober” You smile proudly at him, serving up dinner.

“Almost 5 years In a month actually” Spencer sighs, smiling forcefully. A part of him is still feeling guilty about it all, the memories of Tobias Hankel popping into his mind. His hand rubbing his arms where he was poked with the needle, the feeling fresh on his body. Your eyes catch this movement setting down the pot, taking his hand gently in his. 

“We should celebrate, 5 years is amazing, everyday is an achievement so we should do something to celebrate this” You smile up at him, looking at him proudly.

“Oh I don’t know it's not a big thing” His words trail off when he catches that stubborn look in your eyes, sighing as he smiles softly. “What would we even do?”

“Why don’t we go away for the weekend or we take a day or two off to make a long weekend and go see your Mum, maybe it's time I finally meet her” Shrugging as you think about it, smiling at the idea of finally meeting Diana Reid. Spencer's face lights up, as he nods energetically.

“That is a great idea, I haven’t seen my mum in ages and I really want you to meet her” 

“Then It's settled, we will go and see her and have our first vacation away together” You chuckle leaning forward kissing him lightly.

~~~

After you two have finished eating your cuddle up on the couch watching a nature documentary. Spencer's head resting in your lap, as your hand strokes through his hair as your mind fading away from what's on the screen in front of you. Your mind travels to your father and what could possibly be in that letter, regret setting in that you never took it from Stephen when he was offering it to you. Now you're going to have to ask him for it, is this something you truly want to do, could you really deal with his cockynes right now. Spencer rolls his head over to look up at you, feeling your hand come to a stop in his hair. He was wondering why you have been quiet tonight, normally you like adding small comments throughout it but not tonight. 

“Okay Beans what's on your mind?” He asks, frowning softly as you don't respond, not even looking like you heard him as he calls out to you again. He moves his head off his lap sitting up properly, the movement is what pulls you out of your deep thought looking at him.

“Where are you going?” Looking at him confused as you meet a concerned stare. 

“You were so zone out, you didn’t hear anything I was saying” 

“I'm so sorry I was just thinking about something” Smiling weakly as you glance down at the ground.

“What was it about, if you don’t mind me asking”

“The letter, a part of me wants to know what Jason wrote but the other part of me is scared to know what my father may have written in the letter” Sighing softly looking back up at the tv. “I also really don’t want to have to ask Stepehen for it, not after this morning.” Feeling the couch beside you move, glancing at him as you see him get up, watching him walk towards your bookshelf. 

“Um Spence what are you doing?” Feeling confused as you raise an eyebrow watching his movements. He smirks lightly as he picks up the letter he had placed down there after taking it from your brother earlier. Turning back towards you, sitting beside you holding the letter out towards you without uttering a word, just giving you a soft reassuring smile.

“He gave it to you before he left?” You're stunned as you take it from him. Staring down at your name written on the envelope, having not seen his hand writing in so many years. 

“I thought you would want to read it later, even if you didn’t you still you had the option just in case” His voice is soft as he rubs your lap gently, smiling softly watching you.

“Thank you” You whisper, glancing at him as you place it down on the side. 

“Always” he smiles, wrapping his arm around you.

~~~

It's been two weeks since you received the letter. It took you about a week to finally find the courage to read it, which had torn straight into your heart. Deciding you would reach out to Jason you just needed time to figure out how you would go about fixing your relationship with him. You and Stephen had made up, agreeing that you both were out of line and would try harder to be better siblings. Dave has been asking to meet your boyfriend everytime you two talk, which you know you have to tell him about Spencer sooner rather than later. You haven’t seen Spencer in awhile seeing as he's been working longer cases lately. In the last two weeks you've seen him possibly three times, before he gets called away. You know it's his job, so you don’t mind too much, it just makes you cherish the time you get with him alot more. It was your six month anniversary the other day, but he was away on a case. He felt so guilty for missing it but you reassured him it was okay and that it can be made up when he gets back.

~~~

The Bau team was finally on the Jet back to D.C after a tough case, they were gone for nine days. They had decided to stay an extra day just to help get some paperwork done after catching the Unsub. As they fly back home, the team is in higher spirits than they normally are after a hard case. It could be because they managed to rescue five girls that the unsub had kidnapped or the fact that they had all managed to get a full night's rest last night for the first time in weeks. Or maybe it was the fact that they know when they land they have the next three days mandated off. As they fly back, Hotch is sitting in the back of the plane doing some paperwork, Rossi is sitting opposite him, having a playful argument on his phone. As the other four are playing cards, laughing about something stupid that Reids is trying to tell them, distracting them as he manages to crush them in the game.

~~~

“Alright listen up” Rossi gets up, walking over towards the agents playing games, all their eyes quickly flick up towards him. 

“Rossi I swear, If you're about to tell us that we have another case I will push you off this plane” Emily points her finger threateningly at him. 

“I will happily help you with that Prentiss” Morgan agrees nodding his head as he places his cards down.

“Hey hey hey, that's a bit dramatic don’t you think” Rossi gasps, shaking his head.

“Okay, we’re sorry, what's up Rossi?” JJ smiles softly, as the team chuckles.

“I am inviting you all to my place for a family dinner and drinks at my mansion tonight, Garcia is already getting things organised after begging me on the phone to host it” He chuckles lightly, smiling.  

“Ohh if you're cooking I am definitely in” Morgan laughs smiling. Enjoying the idea of having a relaxing night with the people he cares for. 

“Can I bring Will and Henry?” JJ asks, smiling, liking the idea of a family event.

“Of course it's not family without them, plus Jack is going to be there, he is going to need some entertainment” Rossi shakes his head faintly, always having to reassure JJ that her boyfriend and kid can always come to family events.

“Oh I won’t be able to make it toning, I’m sorry guys” Reid shrugs, sipping his coffee. Hotch turns around at this news to watch, wanting to know what's going on.

~~~

“And why not?” The older man sighs, turning to give Spencer a pointed look.

“Well tonight me and (Y/n) are supposed to be celebrating our 6 months, I missed it the other day so I was going to make it up to him tonight” Spencer explains, avoiding Rossi's look. Recently it has been so difficult to not tell him who he's dating. He's been trying to avoid Rossi at every moment he can, even when they are in the field together. The team quickly noticed something was up, but Spencer managed to come up with a lie about being tired that's why he's been off, no one bought it of course. Maybe that's why Rossi is throwing this dinner tonight trying to fix this weird thing between him and Spencer.

“Serieoly Reid, you have the next three days off, can't you make it up to him on one of those days?” Morgan asks, narrowing his eyes. His behaviour has been worrying the whole team lately.

“I mean I could but I really miss him so I just—” His voice trails off at the look his whole team is giving him.

“Then invite him” Emily states, giving him a look. 

“We want you to come, and we have been begging you to introduce us to him for ages so please Spencer” JJ begs him, giving him her best puppy face, knowing he's a sucker for it.

“I uh” Spencer glances at Rossi quickly catching a confused, hurt look from the man. 

“Okay fine, I’ll ask him if he wants to come, but if he says no can you all back off, please” Spencer sighs, not wanting to put you into a bad spot.

“Of course” Hotch jumps into the conversation giving the team his best over protective dad look. 

“Ring him now and ask” Morgan encourages him, smirking a little. Excited to finally get the chance to meet this mystery man of Reids.

“Fine” Spencer huffs, smiling slightly as he stands up making his way to the back of the Plane for privacy.

~~~

“Hello Amora” You answer the phone happily. Having excused yourself from work, for a break as you see Spencer name pop up on your phone. 

“Hey Beans, uh how are you” Spencer clears his throat as he speaks. Feeling nervous as he talks to you, which you quickly pick up on.

“I'm fine, what's up?” You ask carefully, feeling your eyes narrow with worry.

“Uh I know we have plan tonight, but um”

“Another case really, do you guys never rest?” You ask in disbelief, mouth gaping open.

“No no, no more cases” Spencer is quick to reassure you, knowing how you worry when he and his team work too hard.

“Good, because you need rest, so does your team, your boss works you guys too hard” You let out a sigh of relief. “Okay then what's wrong?”

“Nothing wrong, I just, uh we have been invited over to Rossi tonight for team dinner and drinks”

“Oh, both of us?”

“Yeah they want to meet you, they want take no as an answer any longer, I know it's awkward because he will be there but–”

“Bambino it's fine” You cut him off before he can start rambling, smiling softly, hearing the worry in his voice. “I think it's time I finally met the famous BAU team, Plus I think it's time we told Dave he said you’ve been acting weird the last couple weeks” Smirking lightly, knowing just how awkward he can get when trying to keep secrets from those he cares for.

“Are you sure?” Spencer smiles letting out a breath, feeling at ease.

“Yes I’m sure, why don’t you come and get ready with me at my place before we go over to his mansion, yeah?”

“Okay, I will meet you at yours after you finish work then” Spencer smiles happily. “Bye baby, I love you”

“I Love you to Spence, wow can’t believe i'm going to meet the famous David Rossi tonight” You both laugh, feeling relaxed as you hang up. 

~~~

Spencer walks back towards his team. Hotch and Rossi have now joined the rest of the team at cards. Rossi having stolen Spencer's seat, he now has to sit down beside Hotch, smiling gently as he watches the team play.

“So Reid, are you two joining us tonight?” Morgan asks, glancing at him, smirking lightly.

“Uh yes we will be, they have work but after that we should be able to make it” Spencer smiles at them all.

“Fucking finally we get to meet this guy who makes you all squishy” Emily sniggers, placing her card down. 

“Oh Garcia is going to love this” JJ laughs as she notices Morgan pulling out his phone.

“Already on it, Babygirl is going to flip” He winks at Reid, noticing the kid go red in the face, shaking his head at Morgan. Spencer turns his attention to Rossi who's leaning over Morgan's shoulder reading his texts to Garcia.

“You two concern me sometimes, chocolate thunder” Rossi glances away with playfully disgust on his face as Morgan laughs at him.

“Don’t worry about it old man” Morgan winks putting his phone back down.

“So Reid are you going to tell us how you meet this man of yours or do we have to wait for tonight?” Rossi asks, smirking at him.

“Oh uh” Reid blushes at that memory. “I don’t think that needs to be brought up at all”

“Oh okay, there has to be a good story behind that” JJ smirks, holding back a laugh.

“One that you guys will never know,” Reid shakes his head.

‘Oh don’t worry Garcia will manage to get it from (Y/n) I'm sure she will mange” Hotch laughs knowing when it comes to gossip she is unstoppable. Reid groans, hanging his head knowing it's true.

“Oh I can not wait to hear that story” Emily laughs, watching the dread on Reid's face.

“Okay I'm regretting this already” Spencer shakes his head, picking up the cards that Rossi hands him for the new game. “Oh um by the way Rossi, just as I was getting off the phone with him before he may have said he was excited to meet the ‘famous David Rossi’ he's a little bit of a fan” Spencer laughs along with the team as they watch his face slowly drop.

“Oh no” 

~~~

As you stand in the mirror contemplating on how you wanted to dress for tonight. Should you be more casual and just throw something random keeping it lowkey or wear something that makes you feel more comfortable, more yourself. You knew deep down the team wouldn’t judge you on what you wear, Spencer had reassured you of that, many times. Rossi has even told you that his team is the most welcoming type of people, he's tried to get you to meet them a few times in the past. But you know that they have all met your father so that has always thrown you off a little, but not tonight. Tonight is just going to be about you and Spencer and, of course, your overprotective Uncle. Sighing softly running your hand through your hair, taking a deep breathing to calm your heart that just seems to be having a race with itselfs. 

“Hey beans, are you almost ready?” Spencer asks as he walks out of the bathroom, brushing his hair. Coming to stand behind you in the mirror, tilting his head to the side in confusion as he sees you holding three different tops in your hands. 

“I don’t know what to wear” Sighing softly as you throw them on the bed, turning around to face him looking defeated.

“What's going on?” Spencer asks as he places his hands on your waist, looking down at you. 

“I’m just, Im worried about what your teams going to think about me” You sigh looking down, not needing him to stare into your eyes right now. Because if he does, you would easily spill all your worries to him so easily.

“Baby, why's that? You know my team is going to love you”

“It's just.. It's just what if I'm not what they're expecting?” You whisper out the words, ashamed of the way you're thinking.

“You are exactly what they are expecting, they are expecting someone who makes me feel happy and loved and that is you” He smiles softly, tilting your head up to look at him. Feeling your cheeks burn under his touch, smiling gently as you feel the stress fading from your body. 

“Thank you” You mutter softly as you kiss him lightly, he pulls away slowly smiling.

“Always, now do you need a hand figuring out what to wear?” 

“Please” You smirk lightly, “Do you think they will care if I wear a little bit of makeup, It just, it normally makes me feel comfortable in my skin” 

“Baby they won’t mind at all, Men wear makeup, It's normal. Garcia just might fall more in love with you though” He smirks softly, “And Morgan might be a little jealous of your piercings, he's only allowed his ear pierced at work, but he wants to get his nose pierced but it goes against our uniform” Spencer informs you, hoping it will help calm your anxiety of dressing how you like. The smile and the exhale informs him that he said the right things, giving you a quick peek on the cheek as he steps back. 

“Just relax, wear what makes you happy, I’ll feed Bubbles while you get ready” He smiles as he walks off, letting you get ready. Smiling to himself as he hears you turn your music on as he walks to the kitchen.

~~~

About 30 minutes later, you're both finally in the car, on the way to Rossi places. The rest of the team was already there, Garcia texting him to hurry up, apparently her and Morgan went straight into the tequila. Glancing at Spencer smiling softly as you see him texting them back, he always looks so relaxed and at ease when you drive. Car rides are one of his favourite things to do, he likes listening to the music and audiobooks as he stares out the windows and watches the world goes by. Mainly he only likes it because you're the one driving, it makes him feel safe. 

“Oh God, apparently Garica just found Jaguar but Rossi took it off her to save it for later on in the night” Spencer groans softly which turns into low chuckle, which you join in on.

“Oh I think this Garica person owns my heart already” You chuckle gently as you pull into Dave's driveway, parking in your normal spot by the big tree that hangs over his yard. It's the best place to park seeing as you can stay out of other people's way and no one can park in front of you, making a quick getaway. 

~~~

Deciding to quickly check yourself in the car mirror before getting out, taking a deep breath as you take in your reflection. You had decided to go with your normal makeup routine but adding a little more mascara and blue smokey eyes. Which made your blue lip piercing pop, along with your nose ring. Smiling softly as you take in your makeup feeling confident as you run your hand through your short hair. Glancing over at your boyfriend who is waiting patiently for you, smiling softly at you. His eyes full of love and admiration as he takes you in, the way you always end up being yourself, unapologetically, makes his heart melt. 

“Are you ready (Y/n)?” Spencer asks as he sees you take a deep breath.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that, you're about to meet my uncle slash father figure” You joke lightly as you climb out.

“Oh I think I’ll survive” Spencer laughs as he gets out walking over to you to take your hand. You intwine your fingers in with his as you make your way towards the front food.

“Maybe, I mean he hasn’t killed any of my dates yet, only broken an arm” Exhaling, smirking slightly.

“Im sorry he what” Spence eyes widen in frighten as he comes to standstill, turning to look at you in shock and fear.

“Oh relax, that was only because Jimmy was an abusive dick, you will be fine Amore Mio” Squeezing his hand in reassurance as he takes a deep breath, calming down. 

~~~

As they reach the front door, it suddenly flies open and they’re met with two people in the doorway.

“What the.. Morgan seriously?” Spencer laughs easily. Raising his eyebrow at his best friend who's standing there, with a massive grin on his face.

“That was babygirl not me,” Morgan laughs, indicating at the blond woman in front of him, who's dressed in warm pastel colours. Who's staring up at you with love and fixation on her face, a glass of alcohol in her hand as she makes her way to you.

“No way it's you, you, I love your makeup so much” She screeches with excitement as she finally gets in front of you, pulling you into a hug.

“Hi, I’m guessing this is Garica” Laughing softly as you hug back tightly.

“Oh my god you know me” Garica giggles pulling away as she smiles wide up at you. “Ahh I have been dying to meet you for months, but the boy genius has been insisting on keeping you to himself which sucks” She blabbers on excitedly. The man beside her who you had reconsigned instantly as Derek Morgan, places his hand on her shoulders calmly.

“Baby girl, take a breath we have all night to integrate him for information on his and Spencer relationship just let him settle in first” Derek laughs happily as he looks up at you. 

“It's great to finally meet you (Y/n) I dig the piercing, by the way” He smirks, shooting Spencer a look which is received with a glare and a soft blush from your boyfriend.

“Thanks Derek, Trust me I'm happy I finally get to meet the famous BAU team” Chuckling softly as you hear voices and laughter coming from inside.

“Yeah I heard you're a fan of David Rossi, you like his books?” Morgan asks, smirking at the idea of embracing the old man. You glance over at Spencer giving him a weird look, being met with his cheeky grin instead. 

“I thought telling him you were a fan would completely throw him off” Spencer smirks. Garica narrows her eyes at you both, before meeting Morgan's eyes, who's looking just as confused as she feels.

“Okay, you two have completely lost us” Garica starts, which earns a light shake of the head from you.

“Oh it's okay you guys will understand soon, anyway can I meet the rest of the team now or?” You smirk, raising your eyebrow as they are still blocking the entrance. 

“Oooh yesss the rest of the team is dying to meet you” Garica lights up once again. 

~~~

She grabs your hand, your other hand automatically reaches out grabbing Spencer's, dragging him behind you. Laughing happily as you allow Garcia to drag you both into the house, Morgan follows behind you both, chuckling at the look of horror on Reid's face. She first leads you to the living room where the large glass doors have been open to give more access to the outside area. As you enter the living room you are met with a couple of women and a man who has his arm wrapped around a blonde woman's waist who's smiling happily as they chat away. Their conversation is quickly broken up as they look up hearing people enter the room.

“Oh finally you two show up, I was starting to think Reid got cold feet” The dark haired woman is the first to speak laughing as she teases your boyfriend.

“Oh I think he was  definitely close to bailing on the way here” You joke back, as you slide your hand out of Garcia's grip as you reach the small group of people.

“Hey no I wasn’t” Spencer stumbles over his words, looking at you playfully offended.

“Aw sure sure bambino” Teasing him softly as you squeeze his hand softly, smiling lovingly up at him. You feel more comfortable around his team than you originally thought you would, a part of you still feels like a jumbo mess of nervousness as you wonder where your Uncle is. 

“Ooh that's Italian, Rossi is going to love you” The blonde lady smiles, giving you a small once over before glancing at the other woman smirking, trying her best to be subtle. But Spencer catches the look going red in the face as he realises the team is giving their approval on his partner, making him feeling all nervous and hot. 

“Oh the Italian man, he will love me” You smirk to yourself, earning a few laughs from the team.

“Im Emily by the way” The dark haired woman introduced herself. “I already know your name, Reid loves to mention you every chance he has” 

“Okay can we maybe try to not embarrass me tonight please” Spencer begs as he rubs his temples laughing awkwardly, the rest of the team shaking their heads laughing at his expression.

“Oh no that's the whole point of meeting the team Amore, I need more stories of you” Smirking softly, as you turn to the team. “Please tell me you guys have a lot of embarrassing stories of him you can tell me tonight”

“Oh plenty,” Emily laughs.

“Ohh where do we start?” Garcia giggles evilly as sips her drink.

“How far back do you want us to go?” The blonde woman joins in, smirking. “Im Jennifer by the way but everyone calls me JJ, this is my partner Will”

“Hey there” Will smiles lightly as he nods.

~~~

You smile softly as you look around, taking them all, relaxing. Your boyfriend was right, Everyone here seems so friendly and judgement free. Making you feel so at ease as you relax into the environment.  

“It's great to meet you all, I feel like I already know you guys with the amount of stories I have heard” you smirking, knowing half the stories are mostly from Dave who still hasn't made an appearance yet. 

“Oh is that a good thing?” Derek asks, his face is pulling into a silly terrified face making you and Garica laugh.

“Maybe, maybe not” You tease him, smirking. Soon your conversation is interrupted by a little boy, around the age 4, running in towards the group of adults. 

“Mummy!!” The boys yell excitedly running towards JJ smiling widely, as she looks down watching him run in from the outside area. Where you can see another boy and another grown man out there. 

“Henry inside voice baby” JJ smiles, picking up the young blond boy as he reaches her. “What's up baby?” She smiles down lovingly at the boy in her arms. 

“I wanna show you and daddy what me and Jack made” The boy giggles happily, glancing between his mum and dad.

“Alright buddy, why don’t you lead the way and show us yeah” JJ smiles more, her face lightening up as she speaks to her boy. Henry nods, wiggling his way out of her arms, making his way to the ground. 

“Come on mummy and daddy come on” He giggles and goes to run back outside when the group's soft laughter gets Henry's attention. 

“Auntie Penelope join us” He gasps softly as he grabs her hand, pulling her out of the room, not allowing her to answer. 

You laugh softly with the others as you watch the small boy boss the three adults around, making their way outside. 

“He's such a little bossy little thing” You smirk watching them, noticing just how close this team truly is.

“Just like his mum” Derek laughs

“Just like his Dad” Emily laughs harder, realising how in sync she is with Derek. 

“I do wonder what those kids are up to though” Derek wonders out loud as he wanders over to join them on the patio. 

~~~

Suddenly it's just you, Spencer and Emily standing there looking over at the place the group has moved to.

“So where is David Rossi hiding?” You ask, smirking, looking up at Emily.

“Well he went down to his wine cellar earlier just before you two walked in so he should return soon” She smiles lightly sipping her drink. “I heard you're a fan of his?” You couldn’t help but laugh at her, shaking your head slightly.

“Oh Dave is my favourite profiler and one of the best true crime novels” You chuckle lightly, sarcasm sipping into your words as you speak. Spencer laughs, shaking his head at you glancing down at the ground. Emily stares at you confused, about to ask a question when she's interrupted.

“This is a surprise” A shocked excited voice greets you from behind. Turning around quickly to meet with your uncle smiling happily at you.

“Hey Davey” You smile lightly, all your nerves coming to the surface. 

He brings you into a light fatherly hug, kissing your cheek lightly. “What are you doing here (Y/n)” Dave asks as he pulls away. You smile softly, gulping lightly as you glance over at Spencer, quickly your eyes back on your Uncle.

“My boyfriend invited me to meet his team” You smile nervously, biting your lip to help calm yourself down. Spencer tenses up forcing his smile to stay put, but it slowly fades as he watches Dave's reactions. The speed at which Spencer's heart is racing makes him reconsider whether it could be possible that a heart can explode out of someone's chest. 

Dave's eyes have narrowed so far down, once he had registered the words you had uttered out. His face hardens instantly, turning his attention to Spencer. His mouth parting slightly, but no sound leaves as he tries to find the right words to say to the young boy looking terrified at him.

“Boyfriend?” is the only word Rossi says, but it's enough to double the tension in the room. 

“I uh.. Well y yeah we are together” Reid struggles to form a sentence under the death glare of Rossi.

“Dave um.. Look we” Your words die in your throat as the glare moves onto you for a short second. There's something hiding in his eyes as he glances back at Reid, something you are struggling to read. 

“Your dating him?” Rossi speaks lowly, almost threatening as he stares danger at Reid, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Seeing Rossi smirk a little, when sending a shiver down your spine remembering the last time you saw that look in his face.

“Run, Spencer run” You turn to look at your boyfriend, slapping his arms lightly. 

~~~

Spencer's eyes widen like a deer caught in a headlight and in a split second he's turning around and sprinting towards the door leading to the backyard where everyone is. Spencer jumps clear over the coffee table trying his hardest to get outside the quickest way possible. You can’t help the laugh that escapes you as you see Dave chase after him, with the biggest smirk on his face. 

“Morgannn” Spencer squeaks out, as he rushes towards Morgan who's in the middle of the backyard. His yell captures the attention of Morgan and Garcia who are dancing playfully together entertaining the two children and the adults standing on the patio. Who are now staring in confusion at Rossi as they see him chase after Reid catching up to him quickly.

You're barely able to hold it together trying to control your laughter as you watch the scene play out in front of you. Emily laughing along with you sipping her wine, having put the pieces together of who you could be to Rossi, and she was living for this drama.

Spencer, having reached Morgan, is now hiding behind him, holding on to his shoulders to keep him in front of him a shield. Morgan is holding up his hands in a “I surrender’ or more like a ‘Keep me the fuck out of this’ type of way. Morgan is just a sack of confusement and almost at a lack of words for this strange situation as he has Rossi in front of him. Who seems to be staring and wanting to scream at Reid for some unknown reason, but Morgan can easily read the amusement in Rossi's eyes.

~~~

“What the hell is going on here” Morgan asks, staring at Rossi, rolling his shoulder back trying to get Reid to loosen his tight grip. Glancing over at Garica who just has the same confused look on her face but she can’t stop giggling at the scaredly confused look on her Chocolate thunder's face.

“He's trying to kill me!” Reid exclaims dramatically, popping his head up over Morgan's shoulders.

“I'm not going to kill you Reid, not yet at least now come here” Rossi huffs annoyed, smirking at the look on Reid's face. Reid looks scared but there's a soft relaxed almost amused look on the kids face as well. Reid would always know that Rossi would never hurt him badly.

“Never thank you, I’m choosing life” Reid grins terrified.

“So am I” Morgan sighs, grabbing Reid by the wrist pulling him to the front of him, getting tired of being a human shield. “What did you even do, pretty boy?”

“More like who” Reid grumbles, his eyes widens even more as he realises that Rossi is walking even closer towards him so he quickly takes off running again.

“Reid!!!” Rossi yells annoyed and starts chasing the younger boy again, they start running around in a circle. Morgan and Garica shake their heads in confusion as they walk over to where JJ and Will are, hoping that they might have a clue as to what is going on. 

~~~

Your laughter slowly dies down as you sip on your drink. You and Emily finally decided to join the rest of the group outside on the patio. Everyone watches as your boyfriend and Uncle run around in a circle, occasionally stopping to yell words at each that no one seems to be able to hear being so far away. 

“Um, why is Dave trying to kill Reid?” A confused voice interrupts everyones watching time. You turn around to see who the new voice belongs to, breaking out in a new giant smile as you see Aaron standing there staring at the scene with a bemused look on his face.

“Oh my gosh Aaron?” You grin up at him, his eyes quickly shots over to you. The confusion quickly clearing up, grinning widely as he sees you.

“(Y/n), now that makes sense” He laughs lightly as he pulls you into a quick hug, which you return happily. “How have you been, kid?” He asks you as you two pull away, the team watching you two closely. Everyone's confusion just keeps getting higher as they watch their normally up tight unaffectionate unit chief, pull Reid's Boyfriend into a hug as if he's known you for years.

“I'm doing great Aaron, how are you going, how's Jack been?” Your thoughts automatically go to his son, who you use to babysit a lot and only stopped a couple years ago.

“He's great he should be around here somewhere” As if on queue Jack quickly runs from where he was playing in front of the group and towards his father.

“Dad guess what” Jack giggles and quickly stops as he spots you “(Y/N)!! It's you” He squeals, as he turns from his father and jumps up at you for a hug. Which you quickly accept, picking him up into your arms.

“Hey Jackie” You grin at him “I’ve missed you”

“I missed you too (Y/n/n) oohh I have so much to tell you” Jack grins up at you. Oh how you forgot how much the kid owns your heart.

“Well kid looks like you have all night to catch me up yeah?”

“Yesss” He grins at you as you place him back down. 

~~~

The conversation is broken up by Spencer and Rossi walking back over to the group laughing like complete idiots.

“Who's ready for pasta?” Rossi asks, ignoring everyone's questioning looks.

“Uh are we not going to get any answer as to whatever that was first?” Morgan asks, staring at them like the idiots they are.

“Nope food and more alcohol first” You speak up laughing at them as Spencer walks over to you wrapping his arm around you, leaning down to kiss you softly. A chorus of awws and cheers breakout through the group making you laugh as you pull away from him.

“Ew please don't do that in my house” Rossi groans as he walks to the kitchen. Making you break out in laughter once more as you follow him in leaving the group of confused people to follow in after you.

As the group makes its way to the kitchen where Dave has the pasta all ready to be served, taking a seat at the bench on one of the stalls closer to the end of the island. The team slowly comes to surround the kitchen, Spencer passes you a new drink as he stands behind you, his arms coming to wrap lovingly around your shoulders, allowing you to lean back into him.

“Aww you two are just the cutest” Penelope exclaims as she sits beside you smiling brightly at you two. You turnt  her with a big grin on your face.

“Oh we know but thank you” You chuckle softly, sipping on your drink looking over to Dave who's shaking his head. A soft loving smile on his face as he walks around the kitchen grabbing the utensils and plates for dinner. As the team surrounds the bench all taking a seat or standing at the end of the bench, all with a drink in their hands. The two little boys settled on the table in the corner of the room, colouring in as they wait for their food. The room is buzzing with chatter and laughter from the group, you don’t find it hard at all to slip into the rhythm of the group of people around you. 

~~~

“So Rossi, what's on the menu for tonight?” Emily asks as the attention is soon brought to the pasta set down in front of them. The warm smell of pepper and cheesy pasta starts filling the room.

“Spaghetti alla carbonara” Dave smiles proudly, as he starts putting some onto plates and walks over to the kids setting it down in front of them, who start cheering happily.

“Ohhh wait thats my favourite” You pipe up licking your lips as your mouth starts to water.

“Oh I know” Rossi smirks at you, his eyes full of mischief, chuckling softly as he sees the realisation settle on your face.

“You flipping knew didn’t you” It wasn't a question as you stare at him in disbelief only for him to chuckle more at you.

“Wait, how did you figure it out?” Spencer asks him, staring at him clueless.

“Oh come on it wasn’t hard” Dave laughs, shaking his head at them. “Oh come on, you two have been dating for the exact same time, both a lot happier recently. Your boyfriend works at the FBI and whenever I mentioned Reid you would avoid eye contact or your smile would grow” He looks at you pointedly, you want to argue with him but being at a loss of words you just close your mouth in retreat “And you” Rossi starts, turning to look at Reid. “Your boyfriend has the same name as my Godson, seriously, you’ve been avoiding me the last couple weeks Reid and then today on the Jet it wasn’t hard to put together” Dave can’t help but laugh at the look of surprise on both the boys face.

“I thought we were hiding it well” You argue weakly, pouting softly.

“Not at all,” Rossi smirks, passing plates of food around the group.

~~~

“Wait Godson, that makes so much sense” JJ laughs softly, staring at you three along with the rest of the team.

“Oh right I guess no one had told you guys yet” Aaron chuckles, shaking his head at you lot, taking his plate from Rossi.

“Wait, you knew he had a godson?” Morgan questions turning his attention to his boss.

“Oh yeah I knew who (Y/n) is, he’s also Jack's favourite babysitter” Aaron smirks looking at everyones confused little faces. 

“Wait so you seem to be quite close yet we are only just finding out about you now, why is that?” Emily asks, leaning forward sipping her wine.

“Oh I'm really good at being kept a secret, it all started with my parents” You laugh quietly to yourself trying your hardest to keep the bitterness out of your voice. Even if the room wasn’t filled with profilers, it wouldn’t take much to figure out what you said had made Rossi, Hotch and your boyfriend all tense up.

“Right, well on the cherry topic here's your dinner Angelo” Rossi clears his throat handing over your plate of dinner.

“Thank you Papa Pasta” You smirk cheekily at him as you reach over to grab it from him, only to be given a disapproving look.

“Papa pasta?” Garcia burst out laughing alongside the rest of the room, who couldn't contain themselves after seeing the look on Rossi's face.

Rossi takes the plate away from you and passes it to Morgan instead who is the last to get his food.

“Hey!!” You exclaim, staring at him trying your best to keep a straight face.

“I told you to never use that nickname again” 

“Oops my bad!” You laugh lightly, smiling brightly at him. “Can I please get my dinner please?” The room seems to be holding back their laughter now as Rossi rolls his eyes passing you a new plate of pasta.

~~~

As the night goes on with laughter and funny borderline embarrassing stories of the team, it may have only been hours but you're already starting to feel like a part of the gang already. Soon the group has made its way to the living room, spreading over the couches, Will had left not long after dinner taking both boys home for a sleepover. You're sipping your drink leaning your head into Spencer’s shoulder, allowing yourself to feel happy and enjoy the night. Your face was burning with how much you have been smiling and laughing throughout the night.

“And that is why we never let Reid and Morgan go alone together to get food on a case” JJ finishes telling the story, no one in the room could contain their laughter anymore. Spencer tries hiding his bright red face behind your neck, laughing softly as he does so. 

“Hey hey it was not our fault how were we supposed to know we would accidentally order 2 bags full of ketchup” Morgan argues playfully loudly, the alcohol running through his system making his voice louder than usual. 

“Oh come on sugar what did you expect?” Penelope giggles, resting her head on Morgan's shoulder. Her cheeks are bright red due to the alcohol, smiling widely as she stares up at Morgan.  

“There is a story I would like to know” Emily speaks smirking, turning to look at you and Spencer.

“Oh no Emily, I told you not to ask, '' Spencer groans as he brings his face back out from behind your neck.

“Fine I won't then” Emily wiggles her eyebrows giggling softly. Staring at her in confusion you glance at your boyfriend feeling the whole room watching you two silent laughing at your reaction.

“I will then. So (Y/n) how did you two meet?” JJ giggles tipsy, sipping on her drink as she leans into the couch staring at you.

You couldn't hold back the groan of regret that slips through your lips as you hang your head backwards. Why did they have to ask that question, that night you meet Spencer had been full of regret at the time.

“Oh I know that look” Dave chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. “Tequila or vodka?” 

“Both, and way too much of it” You groan, closing your eyes, hearing the room start laughing at you once more.

“You were so drunk” Spencer teases you lightly, thinking back to the night.

“At least I didn’t vomit all over my shoes” You shoot back. Opening your eyes to glare jokingly at him.

“No you were classy and vomited into a bush after walking straight into a pole” Spencer laughs harder, smiling lovingly at you. You shake your head at him as you look at him getting lost in his eyes, smiling more as you take in all his beautiful features. 

“Awww you two are so in love” Penelope giggles drunkenly, her voice pulling you out of your drunken glaze. Turning your attention back to the room, blushing deeply as you notice everyone staring at you.

“Yes they are” Dave rolls his eyes standing up. “Who needs another drink, I know if I do if I'm going to hear this story” 

“Ohh I do” Emily smiles more 

“Me to” You agree, smiling. “I believe I heard someone found a Jaguar earlier” You smile cheekily up at your Uncle, just hoping he would bring it out.

“Fine” Dave sighs but then smirks at Reid. “Only because your boyfriend here is sober and is going to have to be the one to deal with you once you start drinking that shit” Dave chuckles at the look of fear on Reid's face.

“Oh please no” Spencer groans. Earning a soft slap on the thigh, followed by a kiss on the cheek.

~~~

Once everyone has fresh drinks, and is all settled back down again the story of how you and Spencer meet is brought up once more.

“So you two were drunk when you two met?” Morgan smirks looking at Reid. “When do you ever drink Reid?”

“For one I wasn’t drunk at the beginning, and two we first meet about two years ago through some mutual friends, it was a special occasion”

“You just kept doing shot after shot trying to impress the cute blonde with blue eyes” You laugh as your boyfriend turns as red as a rose. 

“Yeah but then it turns out she was a bitch” Spencer shrugs smiling down at you in his arms, it almost feels like it's just you two in the room when you stare into his eyes.

“Woah did Spencer just call someone a bitch?” JJ gasps dramatically, placing her hand over her chest.

“I think our boy genius did, ooh someone was being bad huh?” Emily chuckles lightly leaning into JJ side. The alcohol makes her tired and turns her into a cuddling mood.

“She was being a homophobic, transphobic fuck so my knight in shining armor decided to stand up for me” You smile happily, not even realzing you had just outed your self. You wouldn’t have known except the room went quiet for a few brief seconds.

“Wait your trans” Penelope breaks the silence. Her voice radiating excitement, looking at you with a huge grin on her face.

“Trans and proud of it” You smile back at her. You never notice the proud smiles and looks that Rossi and Hotch share with each other, as they see just how far you come with your self acceptance journey. 

“My brother’s also transgender” Penelope shares excitedly.

“Really that's so cool” You smile more, relaxing more into Spencer's arms.

“Hey you never told us that babygirl” Morgan smiles softly, before turning his attention back to you and Spencer. 

~~~

“So what Spencer, you decided that someone was hurting your boy, so you had to rescue him huh?” Morgan smirking teasingly at Reid.

Spencer clears his throat, his face heating up again. “Oh uh something like that”

“Oh no what happened?” Aaron asks, keeping his laughter at bay as he recognises that look of embarrassment and regret slipping on to the younger boy's face.

“Oh well…” Spencer trails off.

“He decided that he would, while drunk spout off some statistics about how homophobic people end up and alone and proceed to call her a slut in front of the whole bar and then she throw her drink at him and we both got escorted out of the bar after that” You laugh loudly as you remember the look of shock on his face that night. The alcohol that slipped down his lost puppy dog face, as the bouncer grabbed his arm and pushed you both out of the bar. 

“You two got kicked out of the bar?” Emily asks between her laughter, because of course Reid would be the one to get kicked out for starting a bar fight by talking statistics.

“Attaboy Reid” Dave cheers, smiling proudly at the kid. Dave already approved of you dating Spencer but the fact that the kid stood up for you only hours after meeting you, made him realise that he is the one for you.

“It was a hell of night, after that we went to another bar just us two and did shots for the rest of the night until it closed” You grin sipping on your drink, finishing it again. Spencer is quick to get you a refile, picking up the bottle that lays beside you topping up your glass.

~~~

“So if that all happened two years ago why did it take you two ages to start dating” JJ questions curiously.

“Well I had just broken up with my ex and went through a bit of a rebound sex for a few months after that” 

“Was that after you broke up with Caleb?” Rossi interrupts you, giving you a disgusted look.

“Yes Caleb, I know you didn’t like him” You sigh rolling your eyes.

“You did have shit taste in men (Y/n)” Aaron adds in, defending Rossi.

“Hey! I expect this from Dave but you Aaron that just mean” You pout at him earning a soft laugh from the man.

“I feel like there is so much we don’t know about you (Y/n)” Emily stares at in awe.

“You need to get more alcohol in me then you will know everything” Chuckling softly as you smile at the girl.

“Okay wait I still haven't gotten my whole story yet” JJ complains, her words smushing together lightly, due to the alcohol.

“Oh right right sorry JJ’ Emly quickly apologies encouraging you to continue.

“Okay well after that night out me and Spence decided to keep in contact soon we became pretty good friends, hanging out when we could with our busy schedules, after about a year I started releasing I was falling for him, so well..”

“He decided to ghost me for weeks on end instead of just adamant how he felt, it took months for me to finally get him to admit he was heads over heels for me” Spencer smiles proudly as he finishes telling the story.

“I should have realised earlier that you felt the same way seeing as you've been pining after me for the last two years” Teasing him softly. Closing your eyes slowly, tiredness running through your body. Spencer presses his soft lips to your head as he sees your eyes drifting close, knowing how exhausted you can get after drinking.

“Aw that is adorable” JJ giggles, nudging Emily lightly grinning at her.

“Who knew Spencer would look so cute being used as a pillow” Emily laughs at him. Only for Spencer to glare at her, trying his hardest not to smile at how cute you look in his arms.

“He's also a really comfy pillow” You laugh quietly, smiling widely. Opening your eyes in a haze.

~~~

“Hey uh guys” Aaron calls out trying his best to stop his laughter, which is slipping throughout his words. Everyones turns their attention to look at what Aaron seems to be pointing at. Which is a sleeping Derek and Penelope curled up together on the couch snoring softly. The team has to try to control their laughter when they see them, just sleeping peacefully doing their best not to wake them.

“Oh someone please take a picture of that so I can tease them tomorrow” Spencer whispers giggling softly.

“On it” Rossi smirks, pulling his phone out, taking a few photos of their tangled bodies on the couch.

“Hey, does anyone have a marker?” Emily grins up at the room.

“Prentiss, no” Aaron sighs, shaking his head with a playfully smile.

“Prentiss yes, I know where they are” Laughing quietly as you stand up wobbly, walking out quickly your legs shaking under you. You know the amount of alcohol you have consumed tonight you might regret in the morning. You return quickly with a handful of markers handing a couple to Emily as you walk past her and over to the sleeping bodies.

“Did you go into my study?” Dave stares at you in shock, noticing that you have the good quality markers.

“I did, that's where the nice stuff is” Smirking at Emily who's kneeling beside you, who giggles quietly glancing back at Dave instantly recognizing the unimpressed look on his face.

“(Y/n) I think you're my spirit animal” She whispers quietly as she starts drawing a moustache carefully on Morgan's face.

“Well thank you” Smiling brightly as you go and drawing kitten whiskers on Penelope cautiously, so as to not wake her.

Soon JJ has joined you both and is drawing on Morgan's arms grinning as you all come up with silly things to draw on them.

“Okay that's enough” Dave sighs standing above you five, holding a pile of blankets. “Give me the markers and you three can stay the night in the spare bedrooms” 

“But Uncle Daveee we aren’t finished yet” You whine softly, staring up at him pouting.

“Yes you are now up, I’ve already made sure your bedroom is ready for you (Y/n) now come on” He sighs, placing the blanket down, taking the markers off you and the two girls. Which results in all three of you pouting and whining for them back.

“They're like children” Dave huffs looking over at Hotch for support but he just laughs at the poor man's looks.

“They are your responsibility tonight Dave, I'm off duty” He chuckles while sipping on his drink.

~~~

“Fine we will get up” JJ sighs, standing up grabbing Emily hand pulling her up with her.

“Fineee I'm up” Emily mumbles, walking back over to where the alcohol was. “Wait where's the alcohol go?”

“I put it away, it is bedtime” Reid laughs, shaking his head at his coworkers drunken state, his eyes coming to land on you. Seeing you swaying on the spot as you stare at the wall past everyone, you were now growing quiet which was starting to worry him. He knows how you get when you are tired and drunk, your emotional side tends to slide out. He walks over to you, slowly wrapping his arms around your waist resting his head on your shoulder. 

“You ready for bed darling?” He whispers softly into your ear.

“Yeah” You breath out, leaning into his touch. He lets go of your waist, taking your hand in his as he walks back over to the group of people. The blankets are now covering the sleeping Penelope and Derek who haven't even woken once yet. Emily and JJ are holding onto each other giggling softly in their drunken hazy having a hard time trying to stand still.

“You two are going to need help getting up those stairs” Aaron repates smiling softly, shaking his head at JJ.

“Nooo Hotch we got this” JJ giggles turning around taking Emily's hand trying her hardest to walk straight to the staircase but they both end up stumbling and almost tripping over, again. If it wasn’t for Aaron who managed to grab her arms stabilise her.

“Okay maybe we need help” JJ laughs more, her eyes fluttering close.

“Okay JJ I gotcha ya” Hotch laughs lightly, wrapping his arm around her back. He has been enjoying tonight, watching his team having a night of relaxation. They need it after all the trauma and hard cases they have to deal with.

“Dave, do me and Spence get my old bedroom?” Muttering softly as you watch him try to stop Emily from falling over she lets go of JJ.

“Yeah Kiddo, that room will always be yours” Dave smiles softly, notices the secure grip Spencer has on you. Dave couldn’t be more happy that the two of you finally found each other.

“Wait, you used to live here” Spencer asks softly.

“Nah, well kind of, I use to crash here weekly when I grew up, to get away from my transphobic fuck called parents” Grumbling loudly as you let Spencer help pull you past his team and up the stairs to your bedroom.

~~~

Yor bedroom hasn't changed much since you were a teenager. The draws still have pictures of you and a few old friends on it, along with photos of you and Dave, even some including Stephen as well. Smiling softly as you sit down on the bed kicking your shoes off, watching as Spencer walks over the draws, looking at the photos you have on them.

“I haven't seen many photos of you as a kid” Spencer smiles softly as he looks at them. Noticing that in every photo you always have tilted your head to the side slightly, it's his favourite thing about how you look in photos.

“I don’t like photos of me, but these ones are special to me” You smile, your heart filling with love as he turns back towards you smiling more at you.

“But you're so adorable in every photo” He smiles more as he sits on the bed beside you, wrapping his arms around you pulling you into his chest.

“Gosh I love you Spencer” You whisper closer to your eyes, feeling safe in his arms.

“I love you to (Y/n), Let's get some sleep, yeah?” He whispers back, laying you both down.

“I never thought I would bring a guy I truly love back here you know” Speaking into the silence of the room. “This is my safe place, I never bring anyone here because I knew they weren’t the right fit for me you know, but you're different Spence. I think you're the one” Speaking slowly, your words fill with love and affiliation, tears swarming in your eyes. The room falls silent again, thinking you might have overstepped a boundary. Opening up your heart too much, telling him he's the one for you might have been too much, especially while drunk.

“Thank you.. For telling me I know that's hard opening up, I feel the same way with my team it's why I’ve never intrude them to anyone I’ve dated before because when I did, I wanted it to be the right one” He smiles softly, squeezing you gently as he had felt your body tense up as he took his time thinking of the right words to speak.

“I'm so glad we have each other Spence” Smiling gently, leaning over to kiss him softly. “Goodnight Amore Mio”

“Gooodnight love”

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

It's kind of funny that the tf2 fandom is split into a bunch of different groups, like the stark difference between how more straight male dominated side of the community with r/tf2 only ever ironically post about 'gay buff men' vs how the tumblr/ao3 side of the community sincerely want to fuck these geriatric men

I would honestly split it up even further. Here's my analysis of how different types of people in the tf2 community and how they treat the physicality of the tf2 guys:

r/tf2 type who "ironically" posts about gay buff men and femboy Scout and whatever. Spent seventy real, live, American dollars the Burly Beast "as a joke". If not closeted gay or trans, this type is at least a closeted ally.

r/tf2 type who finds any sexualization of the tf2 men to be viscerally repulsive, even "as a joke." Can be split up even further into "depicts the tf2 guys all as saggy old men for weird comedy purposes" and "depicts the tf2 guys all as muscle-bound Greek gods for weird masculinity purposes". Either way, this is a guy who gets mad at the Gnarliest Garb.

Tf2blr type who is attracted to the tf2 guys, but only if they ascribe to more socially conventional standards of masculine attractiveness. Think, 2014-ish fandom years. Medic is a buff-slim 30-something-lookin ass with the personality of a businessman daddy dom archetype. He's most often straight, but sometimes bi. Other characters, like Sniper and Spy, are also inexplicably muscle-bound daddy doms obsessed with y/n. Everyone else is ignored.

Tf2blr type who is attracted to the tf2 guys, but only through an odd, outdated, "yaoi sin bucket" type of fandom culture standard of masculine attractiveness. Sniper and Spy are thin, curvy, pale, hairless 20-something sexyboys who yaoi out with each other.

Tf2blr type who is attracted to the tf2 guys when presented as saggy old men (or yknow, Tumblr's idea of "old men". No one in tf2 is "geriatric", Medic's like. fifty, maybe sixty). This is the most modern type, and is probably what you, dear reader, are most familiar with. This isn't a type immune of its problems, honestly, I find it susceptible to honestly many of the pitfalls of the previous types (an almost infantilized, misogynistic way of treating characters deemed to be "babygirl", and on the other end of the spectrum, a reactionary, imo homophobic push to Protect The Masculinity of the tf2 guys by insisting that they're BUFF and HAIRY and not fa- I mean "twinks") and its own new issues (conflating a man being a little chubby with "being old". "Demo should have a beer belly because he's Old" actually he probably isn't old and even if he's not, a beer belly is not a "sign of aging", anyone can look like that). Either way, I do appreciate its prevalence now. If it means we can fucking Finally stop drawing Medic tf2 with a six pack I'll die happy

[lazywerebat]

hello again 🫶

i am the biggest sucker for angst and comfort

how would you feel about this, the lost boys x trans male reader who’s got really bad daddy issues

the type of daddy issues they make you find comfort in men, seek their love and approval for everything, just really bad attachment issues

so it’s just the reader and his daddy issues affecting how he is with the boys 🫶🫶

Losing My Mind !

Polyam! Lost Boys x TransMan! Reader With Daddy Issues

a/n; thank you for request! i think i may or may not went overboard with this but idrc cuz it was rlly relatable to write! i wrote it based of off a this very very relatable song to me! hope you dont mind that TvT!! also at very end i decided to turn reader into a vampire because that just came to me :))

word count; 6.2k

warnings; reader having bad daddy issues! reader having multiple panic attacks! reader having suicidal thoughts ( not mentioned but hinted )! reader being turned into a vampire!

“LEAVE ME ALONE”

you yelled as you slapped your room door and locking it. You could hear banging on door and yelling coming from other side.

You were laying on the floor in silence and fear, asking yourself over and over again ‘Why the hell am I here?’ and are you losing your mind? Your world has turned to dust ever since you came out to your dad, you thought he would be happy to have a son, you always heard from him that you were meant to be boy. How he would could you his perfect son and now when you are, everything turned upside down. You felt like no one was around, if you could scream you would but you couldn't make a sound. You knew you were slowly dying inside while tears were coming from your eyes and won't stop. You knew you would be like that all night until you heard a sound like someone is throwing rocks at your window. You slowly stood up, wiping away your tears, trying to looking like you weren't crying. You open window to see your four boyfriends waiting for you to come, shit you forgot you were supposed to meet them at boardwalk half hour ago. You didn't bother dressing up because you were wearing [band] t-shirt, jacket Dwayne gave to you, black ripped jeans and boots. At this point you didn't care how you looked around them you were happy that they were in your life and that you could trust someone. You hoped your dad wasn't in living room or near it, you were slowly coming down stairs trying to not make any noises until you exited the house. That went pretty well,

“Heyy baby!”

you heard one of your boyfriends call, you went to them and gave them all kisses and hugs. Soon after that you went to boardwalk as promised, none of them questioned why you didn't show up at promised time. They probably thought you forgot cause of your bad memory issues but what was important to them is that you were there with them. Boys and you were walking down boardwalk looking at many rides and many arcade Santa Carla has to offer. You would asked them if you could go to some rides, go to arcades or anything, which happily they would agree not questioning why you needed their approval in first place, they thought it was cute you asked them to make sure its okay with them. You were having fun until your eyes landed on your father, whose looking at you with either anger, disappointment or both. You didn't realise you went away from boys, everything was mute to you and that feeling was coming back. You didn't knew what boys seen in you and when they looked at you. You were sitting on floor, back against some building, head between your knees while arms hugged your legs. That question repeated in your head ‘Should I end it all?’ if you couldn't be free from all of this or boys seen a fighter in you not ready to leave with a burning desire to live. You felt a hand on your shoulder and someone speaking to you but you couldn't manage to hear what they said. Feeling of bare chest, hand stroking your back while other hand hold you tight made you realise you were in Dwaynes arms. By that you knew others were with you or they were near. You couldn't really see your surroundings as your vision was complete blur. You just heard him comforting you, making sure you were alright and yes or no questions. You closed your eyes as you calmed down, you went more into his chest seeking for more comfort and he happily gave you more. Soon you felt kisses all over your face, some praises and hand stroking your back.

“Is he feeling alright?”

questioned David, Dwayne looked up to him and nodded. David was glad you were doing better. After you calmed down you went to beach. You were sitting on Dwaynes lap as he was giving you kisses on your neck and cheek, David was next to you while Paul and Marko were in ocean, splashing each other and laughing. You watched as they swam in ocean which some people called life. You were always looking for an escape from everything happening in your life recently, you didn't know what that would be, maybe reading comics, drawing, reading or sleeping? You didn't know. Maybe it could be just staring at ceiling in your room as memories of your father and you flooded your mind, how you would have a fight, having good moment together, him teaching you how to properly use a gun and many many more. You were drowning and drowning in memories of your father and you that you didn't realise David was calling you.

“Hey Y/n. You okay?”

he asked while looking at you, you shaked your head to stop memories then look at him while nodding signaling to him your fine. He just looked at you to confirm it and you gave him a smile,

“Im seriously fine Davey, don't worry!”

you reassured him. This time he was one to nod, you didn't know if he believed you or not, you also didn't know if he was reading your mind. You knew that they were vampires, they told you themselves. You were looking around the beach until you spotted a father and a son having nice moment together. You had that feeling again like you were bounded in chains with a stone in youre chest while lungs were filling with memories, you were drowning in them so fast and it was getting harder and harder to breath. Boys noticed your behaviour and took you to cave, they probably read your memories and knew what was going on. You were this time in Pauls arms, David walking around the cave, Dwayne sitting on couch observing everything while Marko wasn't here, you didn't knew where he was. After some time he came with some bottle covered in some shiny gems or whatever they were called as he gave it to David who came to you. You looked at him,

“Come on kitten, drink up, be with us for eternity and forget him.”

he assured, as he was holding bottle in front of you waiting for your answer as everybody else. You didn't care, you knew you would be safe with them that they would protect you forever. You were still recovering from what happened at beach, so your hands were shaking but you open your mouth. You watched him grin while he poured liquid in your mouth as you heard cheering from others.

“We know exactly someone perfect for your first kill handsome.”

Paul mentioned as he held you and gave you kisses. You drank all liquid from bottle and smiled, David held your chin as he kissed you. You knew you were perfectly safe and protected with them.

[waywardwritesstuff]

˚○◦˚Request and Commisions˚◦○˚

What I will write:

- Fluffy, Angst (I can do some dark stuff but not all), Smut (I can do most kinks), platonic and romantic.

- I prefer to write from a male or non-binary perspective but I can do female as well. I will happily write for trans readers or readers of other genders (if I am well informed)

- I will write for almost every character as long as I know them (because if I don't know them I can't write them accurately and then what's the point) I will also do character X character depending on the ship (there are some ships in just not comfortable with)

- I will write poly as long as it is not that gross porn type of m!reader gets two girls and they don't like eachother. Poly means everyone likes everyone and everyone is in agreement in the relationship

- Whump. I will happily and gladly write whump of all kinds. So please please please if you want to see anything comes to life send it my way

I will not write:

- Age gap (3+ years, ask for aged up if the age difference is more than 3 years) or minor X adult. I simply won't so don't ask.

- Rape (sexual assault maybe if it is angst but not in a smut only context)

- No beastiality or extremely odd kinks (if you aren't sure about the kink send it in anyway and I'll respond if I'm comfortable)

Fandoms I can write for (and their characters and constraints):

Supernatural (most ships, any character x reader)

↳ Dean, Sam, Cass, Jack, Gabriel, Adam, Meg, Ruby, Benny, Crowley, Jo, Ellen, Donna, Jodie, Claire, Alex, Patience, Kaia

TMNT (I've only seen 2012, ROT, Bayverse and Mutant Mayhem) (no Leorai and no ships with smut of any kind)

↳ Leo, Donnie, Raph, Mikey, April, Casey (Casey and Casandra)

The Last of Us (Part 1, I havent played Part 2 yet) (no Ellie x Joel, I haven't seen any of the content yet but I'm sure it's out there)

↳ Joel, Ellie, Tommy

Star Wars: The Clone Wars / The Bad Batch / Rebles (some of the characters are children remember so keep that in mind)

↳ Rex, Cody, Fives, Anikin, Ashoka, Obi-Wan, Kanan, Ezra, (any Jedi really) Zeb, Sabine, Hera, Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, Crosshair, Echo, Omega (any Clone really)

Marvel

↳ Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Thor, Loki, Steve, Bucky, Steven, Wanda, Pietro, Vision, Peter, Scott, Gamora, Nebula, Peter Q, Okoye, T'Challa, Rhodey, Sam, Shuri

My Hero Academia (they are also mostly children so keep that in mind as well)

↳ Deku, Bakugo, Kirishima, Mina, Sero, Denki, Iida, Shinsou, Tokoyami, Uruaka, Todoroki, Aizawa, Shigaraki, Dabi, Toga, Twice, Tsuyu, Momo, Jiro, Mirio, Nejire, Amajiki, Fat Gum

Avatar 1 and Avatar The way of Water (once again, there are children so keep that in mind)

↳ Jake, Neytiri, Tsu'tey, Neteyam, Lo'ak, Tuk, Kiri, Grace, Norm, Spider, Tonorwari, Ronal, Ao'nung, Tsireya, Roxto

How to Train your Dragon (same here: they. are children.)

↳ Hiccup, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, The twins, Daggur, Heather, Valka, Stoick (for those out their with daddy issues ;))

All if my content will be lables with word count, ship, tags and if it is smut will contain this banner 👇

That's all for now. My commisions are currently open and there is no limit to how many you can send in, so go nuts. Bye for now

[yuyinesque]

ten commandments. these are the rules of my account that you must follow; they also contain remnants of “byf” undertones. if this list seems too hard for you to perform, then you will either exit willingly or forcefully.

⇥ Ⅰ. do not spam like or blow up my ask inbox. for most, this is self-explanatory. this will result in me becoming shadowbanned or suspected for being a bot, so try not to like more than five posts at once, alright? otherwise you will be blocked. also, my requests are temporarily open, i’m feeling generous.

⇥ Ⅱ. do not plagiarize my work. this is also self-explanatory; i don’t need to go into detail. the outcome of plagiarizing my work will not be fun. however, you may ask me permission to translate it as long as you credit me. i don’t mind such.

⇥ Ⅲ. do not reprimand my work. i write sfw and nsfw concepts. my nsfw projects could vary from kinks such as exhibitionism, voyeurism, anal play, consensual non-consent (cnc), mommy/daddy kinks, etc. plus, i’m also prone to writing about mental, eating, or physical disorders, self-harm, sexual assault, emotional angst, gore, yandere themes, homicide, suicide, etc. if any of these topics make you uncomfortable, then this account is likely not for you. however, although i feel as if i shouldn’t need to clarify this, but don’t go out of your way to attempt to ruin my feelings because you’re pissy over something i’ve warned you about. not to mention that i tend to get a little poetic when it comes to my writing, though i will go out of my way to ensure that it remains comprehensible. regardless, if you don’t appreciate the way i write, you may leave. simple as it sounds if i’m being quite honest.

⇥ Ⅳ. do not reprimand y/n. as a black individual, i primarily write for the black community. however, even if you aren’t black, you can still make requests, though please know that your race cannot be addressed. this does not apply if you’re mixed, however, for you’re still african american. i wish to not accidentally disrespect anyone’s culture, but i don’t mind if you were to give me a quick description of yourself (this is optional). yes, there will be times where y/n’s race is unspecified, though for a majority of the plot, y/n will be black or black-coded. i also write for male y/n, gender-neutral y/n, top y/n, switch y/n, sub y/n, female y/n, transgender y/n, plus-sized y/n, thin y/n, y/n with a skin condition, y/n with a mental/physical disorder, etc. i prefer to keep it diverse, ya feel me? while i don’t mind who reads my work, since i can’t necessarily kick the planet off my account, i do mind when y/n is being bashed over realistic issues that people go through incessantly. for the sake of respect, remain respectful, otherwise i will block you.

⇥ Ⅴ. stray away from overly taboo requests. scat, piss, pedophilic, incest/stepcest, rape/non-con, feet, race play, vomit, age regression/play, highschool teacher x student ships, huge age gaps, or anything as ridiculous as the ones listed will not accepted or tolerated. as expected, you will be blocked and hopefully sent to solitary confinement ‘cause uhm…

⇥ Ⅵ. stray away from unrealistic oc requests. i create oc’s and have five that are soon-to-be posted with the names zolene, illūnis, xemo, indigo, and byeol. you’re completely allowed to request for them as well. however, make your desires realistic, especially when it comes to their sexuality. for example, considering that zolene is sapphic, cis or trans!male reader is unavailable for her romantically or sexually. another example is indigo who is attracted to men or masculine, amab!readers, therefore fem-presenting, female, or afab!readers cannot be written for him romantically or sexually. and don’t give me that “they’re just oc’s, they’re not real” shit either. you either request accordingly or leave me the fuck alone.

⇥ Ⅶ. do not ask personal questions. i like to keep private, plus it’s a given that you shouldn’t ask people federal questions that you don’t know about. i don't need to elaborate on this.

⇥ Ⅷ. ask rules. i’m quite open to much, but if you want the most accurate results, give me the most detailed ask. if you give me something simple, then you shall receive something simple. it won’t be pettily half-assed, no, but if you were expecting a one shot from a vague request then this drabble that i have in store for you will not bring you the appropriate solace. this is optional: specify your wants. there’s no need to feel discomfort; i won’t judge you, unless you break a rule. if you’re still unsure about what you want to ask without seeming invasive, then you’re welcomed to ask questions via messages or anonymous asks.

⇥ Ⅸ. do not ask for anything outside the chosen fandoms. if it doesn’t pertain to spider-man; across/into the spider-verse, jujutsu kaisen, haikyuu, one piece, genshin impact, or my original characters, don’t ask. the miscellaneous section is strictly for self-pleasure, so do not invade that.

⇥ Ⅹ. INTERACT WITH ME. jk, it’s not an obligation, but it would be satisfying to have an active blog, yes? it would not only grant me motivation, laughs, and blushes, but also twice as much activity and work than before. i don’t mind making moots as well. while i'm indifferent towards the idea, you’re very welcomed to shoot a message and become my mutual <3. i don’t bite unless i’m excited!

yuyinesque | translate with permission & peruse without theft.

[imalittlewoodenboy]

Do you want to read a fantasy story about trans/queer characters?

Do you want a novelized exploration of what it means to be masculine?

Do you have Jesus related daddy issues?

Do you want a story with a gay trans male lead where:

-None of his problems are trans hate related?

-He (spoiler alert) will not die?

-No one gets raped at any point?

Then boy do I have a story for you. I am looking for beta readers to give feedback on my draft. I have tagged properties that influence, and inspire me, hoping that fans of those might also be interested in this.

The first chapter is below, thank you for your time and attention!

Chapter 1. The Heat

The light was warm as the dry evening air. Fires danced over the fabric that draped over support poles of hearty wood. The woodgrain had stripes of a pinkish color, and tan running through it. Cypress. Sounds of laughter and conversation poured from the mouths around the table as the group dined on dry bread, mild cheese, slightly withered fruit and nuts. The wine was warm, but perfect. The evening itself was agreeable compared to the previous hours, even though the air was oppressively hot on tired, weathered bodies. It seemed not to bother the men. All but one. Tone’s broad shoulders were sunken just a fraction lower than most days. Strands of the darkest brown hair fell over his forehead, tickling the slight bump in bridge of his long nose. The hair clumped together with dust and sweat from a day of travel. Many days actually.  His thick black brows furrowed over equally black lashes, and thin lips parted for need of water. It seemed they only had wine. 

The festivities and the men paid no heed to their leader’s shoulders nor brows. They asked him eagerly when they would move on to the next city. Asked his plans. Asked the future- believing he could give it to them. “Lord, we must be growing ever closer to the desert city.” Shari said. She was a thickly built warrior with the darkest brown skin that almost appeared purple in some light, and longest hair, intricately tied in box braids. “What do you see for us there?”

“Surely we mustn’t spend much time there. We could arrange our way back to Dalgen.” Taran cut in. He had a serious brow, that hung down over his eyes, and long curly black hair that contrasted against his rich Sienna skin. He was muscular too. He was the only one of his skin in the group. Foreign even in a diverse group, and the only one who seemed unfased by the opposing heat.

“We mustn’t forget how our people suffer, untreated there.” Early spoke next. He was young, with dirty blonde hair, and stubble all over his face. He had pale skin, like Tone, but where Tone had burned in the sun, Early had tanned, only making his teeth whiter, and his eyes more blue. “When will we go back to dalgen to help them?”

Tone’s eyes, tired, amber, and surrounded by fine lines, were no less captivating beneath their heavy lids. They bounced to each and every party member that spoke to him. They couldn’t go back to Dalgen. A dread filled his mind at the mention of it. Even if he told them that, only more questions would come. Though he could not give them the answers they wanted, he could give them attention. That wasn’t nothing. Was it? Would that be enough for them? to have his gaze for a moment? Did he dare divert it long enough to search their table for a jug of water? Jonathan was from Emor. He was fine featured in a way that made him look near a decade younger than his age. His hair was cut to one length, ending midway down his neck. It hung in big loose waves, dark brown, and soft. He watched from afar, watched the men pour Tone over with questions. Tone looked thirsty. Would he speak up for himself, and stop them wanting more from him? Even Jonathan couldn’t take his attention off of Tone. He had something that commanded everyone’s attention. It was refreshing just to look upon him. He was their leader, not by his own choice, but by his very nature.  “Why must you beg for the future?” His gentle, calm, stable voice finally broke through the group, and settled the clamor. Everyone seemed to exhale, in relief, or maybe satisfaction, and look to the source. Tone was sitting just a little straighter. “As I’ve told you, I am no god. I don’t know the future, and I should not want to. Knowing the future would be a curse, not a blessing. It won’t bring it faster, nor make you more prepared. The future is ever changing, and we have little power over it. All we can, or might do is in the present.” The group listened with baited breath, all eyes on Tone. No one could look away. He looked to their faces a long, melancholy moment. “For instance, you all know that you will die someday, but knowing when, or how, would only inhibit your life. You would wish you didn’t know.” He looked down at the table. 

He’d barely finished speaking, and the clamor resumed. The party looked to each other now, lauding the wisdom of their leader. “I must record that one.” Ayoade mumbled, searching for parchment to write on. 

“He speaks the truth, we must focus on what is at hand.” Taran agreed, speaking to Shari.

Early still looked dissatisfied. Many of them were, but Tone had teased at professing. He did it so rarely, everyone had to take it seriously.

This small speech at least gave Tone a moment where no one seemed to be looking at him directly. The pale shoulders sunk again, and he took the moment to rest. He knew all too well that they would be at him again in moments. How this joyous supper with friends felt like a battle for survival. How weary he was. How hot his face felt. It was so warm, even though the sun had set hours ago. 

As if Jonathan knew, he slowly approached with a pitcher of cool, sloshing water, and poured it into a clay cup in front of Tone, then slowly knelt beside him. This action required the man next to Tone, Taran, to move down slightly. Everyone wanted to sit near Tone, but Taran was his right hand man. He always was there by his side. He moved out of the way of Jonathan with obvious annoyance for such a slight. 

Tone saw the water, and barely seemed to notice Jonathan at first. He was so thirsty. Jonathan even went so far as to hand the cup to Tone the moment he was done pouring. Tone looked in Jonathan’s eyes for just a fleeting glance of true gratitude. It was too short, but no less intoxicating to have his attention. Tone drank deeply. His pale throat bared, and red from the heat. Thin, chapped, pink lips on the beige clay cup. His hand surrounded it remarkably. It was so large. Jonathan’s eyes caught on his pronounced adam’s apple next. It bobbed as Tone swallowed. As he pulled the cup from his lips, a drip formed at the corner of his mouth. Jonathan had a cloth on his belt, and pulled it to Tone’s cheek to get the drip.

Tone felt better, but a drink of water, however wonderful, couldn’t heal a tired body in this hot night air. The cloth could wipe the drip of water, but it would shortly be replaced by sweat. Again, as if Jonathan knew, he took the cloth, and dipped it in the cool water pitcher. “Allow me to try and cool you, my lord.” He offered, and pressed the cool, wet cloth to Tone’s forehead. 

It was perfect. Tone relaxed into the touch slightly, and his next blink dared to be a slow one. The cool wetness of the cloth was just what he needed. Jonathan always had just what he needed. A few of the men around him had tuned back in, and were starting to speak to him again. Tone wouldnt have time to relax. The slow blink would be all the reprieve he could get it seemed. He felt the touch. Analyzed it. Remembered it. Just what I need. He actively thought to himself, but what the others needed was their leader. He caught a distasteful glance from Taran, the man that Jonathan had shifted away from Tone. 

Jonathan drank in the moment that Tone’s body seemed to unclench. That tiny moment that he leaned toward him before the attention of Taran and the others soured it. The others didn't even see him relax, it was so brief, but Jonathan felt it. He had helped for what it was worth.

When Tone glanced around he saw two others looking too. Anders, and Ferdinand. His mind reluctantly gave up the milisecond of relief, and he leaned away from Jonathan’s touch. A frustration grew in him that he knew was misplaced. How could Jonathan know him so well? How could he see just what he needed, but not see how giving it to him would backfire? Why did he always have to fulfill those needs so instantly, when he couldn’t enjoy the comfort? Jonathan, all that is good, must you know me over supper? Tone thought to himself, wishing he could communicate to Jonathan that he was right- he needed this. We’re unwedded, and you’re far too young. This looks inappropriate, and you know it. They already assume things based on your profession. Must you always give me just what i need right here and now? Could you fit all that in a glance? He tried to without letting the others see. More and more attention turned back to him. “That’s enough, Jonathan.” Was all Tone said, a little sharply as he shifted away from him. “… Thank you.”  Jonathan pulled the cloth away as Tone thanked him, then refilled his water, even though it was in short supply. A secretly rebellious statement. A tiny little ‘You deserve comfort’ in response. It didn’t go unnoticed by Tone, as they shared one last minuscule glance. Jonathan left, only seconds after sitting down in the first place, to look after the needs of the other party members. He stood from the pillows on the ground, and his bare legs under his short tunic were between Tone and Taran for a moment before he walked off.  The legs between them were what set Taran off. “I don’t see why you waste your time with someone like him.” He said, barely a moment after Jonathan was out of earshot. It was bold, but Tone trusted Taran more than any of the others for his moral drive. “I can understand the appeal… if someone were interested in young men… but… an Emorian..?” he searched for the right words, trying not to sound judgmental, when he clearly didn’t approve. “I understand and agree with your teachings on treating sex workers with kindness, but for others to see you with him like that…” he trailed off a moment. “To let him touch you so… It doesn’t suit your image. It doesn’t inspire devotion. It makes you look like any other man. Sinful.. mortal.”

Jamie added on. “And he’s Emorian. To be so close with a teenager… especially if he comes from the very race that abuses ours…”  Tone kept his gaze straight forward. Of course what Taran, and Jamie said was understandable, true even. That didn’t mean Tone liked it. It didn’t make it fair. He got more tense with every word. The logic Taran spoke was justified, but his attitude was not. He spoke of Jonathan’s profession with venom. With distaste. Taran thought Jonathan lesser for his past. Jonathan caught Tone’s eye across the space, serving wine to a group of men.. all of them nearly twice Jonathan’s size, and totally ignoring him. As if he were some sort of slave, or object. Nonetheless, Jonathan was smiling. He was sweet. There was a purity of spirit about him in stark contrast to the way all the men seemed to see him.. as dirty. distasteful. As Taran spoke, more of the men turned their attention in agreement. Anger, and fatigue swirled in Tone’s shoulders as they raised, and he snapped at Taran. 

“I’m amazed that men such as yourselves can be so blind.” Tone worked to speak calmly, but heat grew in his words. “We work tirelessly in every town we visit to do what?” He asked rhetorically, looking to all their blank faces. “We help people who’s humanity has been ignored. We feed, we heal, we care for those who have been ignored. How can you work so hard to restore humanity to others, and yet ignore his?” All attention was on Tone again as his voice began to raise.  “There is not a man among you who personifies my teachings such as he.”  “My lord, we have devoted our lives to spreading your wisdom. He has chosen a sinful occupation. One of greed. Surely he is the shallow one..?” Early put forward, and a few were brave enough to agree. Jonathan had been serving the men, but now that all of their group was focused on Tone’s rare heightened state, Jonathan had caught on that the conversation was about him. He made himself scarce before Tone could spot him, but stayed just past some of the colorful fabric of their tent. No one could get far enough from each other on an expedition like this- when all the walls were fabric.  “You’ve misunderstood me then entirely.” Tone snapped, jumping to his feet. His voice had always been powerful, even when it was quiet. It was smooth, deep, and felt like his words were dipped in warm honey. The kind that tastes so good you don’t even mind getting your hands all sticky. But now, it boomed, and excited the listeners. Even though he was mad, it was still beautiful to listen to. “He cares for his fellow human. He doesn’t see it as… demeaning to serve drinks and to cook or clean for us.” His voice boomed. At this point, unseen by all present, Jonathan left earshot. He went to the furthest tent to avoid hearing more. It was almost as if hearing positive words of him from Tone was too much. he felt unworthy of such attention, even if he had wanted it moments ago. It was like looking into the sun. “He just wants to take care. You’re all happy enough to enjoy the fruits of labor that you so despise.” Tone spat, looking to each of them directly. Taran, Shari, Ayoade, Anders, Grace, Early, Qiana, Jamie, Sam, Ferdie. Finally, silence. From all of them.  The moment grew long, and Tone realized how it must have looked. Someone dared to question his interest in a prostitute, and he snapped at the whole group. A rather out of character snap as well. They would certainly have their theories now. Was there even anything he could do to stop them…? No action would have stopped the speculation. Especially now. The effort of the day finally caught up, and Tone realized what he should have known hours ago. “I will go on a walk alone.” He stated to dumbfounded, guilty, and resentful faces. Then promptly turned, and walked out of the tent, scattering a group of servants that had dared listen in to his rare, but beautiful raised voice. His sandals drug through the sand as he stormed off. He was an imposing height that, even though he was quite slender, and docile in attitude, could still intimidate when moving as quickly as he did. He disappeared over a sand dune, and no one dared go after him.  “It is dangerous for him to get so familiar with whores” Grace said bluntly, brave now that their leader was out of earshot. Tone had never yelled like that at him, but he was of the few that weren’t phased by it. Though Grace was the smallest of their group, he could be the most brave. Or brash. Jury’s out.

Taran nodded “I am devoted to our leader and our cause- you know I would only have brought it up because of outside perspective” He pointed out. “If the crowds start to see him as not following his own ideals… well it puts us all in danger.” 

“It doesn’t help our cause, you’re right” Jamie said through squinted eyes. His pale skin had freckled in the sun, and left his face covered in spots. Though many of them had European skin, his seemed the most out of place here under red hair.

“He’s right.” Anders said through the conversation, and people perked up to listen to him. Anders had long dirty blonde hair, and pale skin.“He has taught nothing but humility. We are quick to judge Jonathan’s profession, but slow to realize that few people would choose that profession.” he seemed to think out his words carefully “Perhaps… we don’t like Jonathan because he makes Tone seem too human.” he realized. “He makes him just a man..” he trailed off. Some seemed to take this in. Some heartily disagreed.

“Just a man.” Shari said with a soft laugh. “As if you could really believe that of Tone.”

“Just a man or not, the public thinks him a god. It only helps us to maintain that. If they realize he’s not, they’ll call him a liar.” Taran argued.

“He never said he was.” Ferdie pointed out. 

“You think that matters to a mob?” Taran retorted.

The conversation slowly began to pick back up, several debating about Jonathan, never checking to see if he was even still there. The sky was purple and cloudless against indigo dunes, and the horizon stretched out in all directions. Their camp was comprised of 3 tents. One large, colorful, and open, where they had their supper, then one larger tent where all the followers slept together on their individual mats. The remaining tent was for some servants, their faithful pack ferret, and food storage.  Tone had retreated far enough to a high dune that overlooked the little valley which their camp was set up. He stood with their tall pack ferret. The very first one they had got when they set out on their journey. He was old and grey now, with white hairs littering his lively face. Tone leaned his head against the big creature. He had carried their bags and tents so dutifully for so long. Tone wondered if it was time for their old friend to retire. His mind went to Jonathan next. He felt a guilt over his treatment. Jonathan had come and given him such refreshment, such reprieve, and Tone didn’t offer anything in return but frustration. He would need to remedy this. 

Torches of fire mimicked the many stars in lovely yellows offset by the blue shadows of night. The air was still oppressive, and Tone wondered what options he had for the night. He had to return soon, both in need of rest, and to quell any question that he was off with Jonathan somewhere. They all had seen him all hours of their time together. They knew well that Tone had no time alone, not to mention enough time alone for a prostitute’s services. He slept in full view, with all of them there in the communal tent. Though spacious enough for them to have their own corners, there wasn’t privacy. All could be heard, and most could be seen. When he went back, he would surely face the group, and have to withstand more conversations, and questions. If he didn’t… he’d not be able to lay down. That motivated him to make the trek back to his bedroll. Back down the hill to the welcoming firelight. There was light on the horizon too, he noticed. They’d be in a town again by the next night. Chapter 1.1 Chapter 1.2 Chapter 1.3 Chapter 1.4 Chapter 1.5

[captianprices40thson]

Hey! I'm a writer!

Hello, It's me! I'm Dante, your local silly guy!

I do writing for:

GN readers

Male readers!

Trans male readers!

I do not do writing for female readers! I'm sorry but there is just too much female reader content out there, it's time for the gays and the theys to have a turn!

I do ships, platonic relationships (I see you guys with daddy issues who want to bond with Price, I'm here for you!)

I write for actually every cod character! I'm serious. It'd be easier to name characters I won't write for, so here they are:

General Shephard (Boo! He's bald! He's bald and he's torturing people who have hair!)

Hassan (Why him? He's bald! He's bald and he's torturing people who have hair!) (I have nothing against bald people, just those men)

Yeah, that's it.

Feel free to request literally any character (or character's, I'm down for a poly fic!) ! I wanna see some Valeria and Farah appreciation, along with some more villain appreciation! Lemme write for Makarov sometime!

My requests are always open!

Feel free to stop on by!

[miuszn]

rules ♡

as with everything , there are rules to what you may or may not request .

things i will NOT write include :

🧸 ddlg / anything along those lines . i can make exceptions if you simply want the pet name “ daddy ” to be used and no ddlg elements to come along with it . however , i may decline your request regardless.

🧸 lesbian characters x men . this includes with other male characters , male reader , etc . i will decline any request that includes lesbian characters x men in any shape or form .

🧸 m / m pairings . as a lesbian , i am uncomfy writing pairings i am unfamiliar with . this also includes genderbent w / w pairings as well . straight pairings i also will most likely not write , but if it’s a ship i really like at the moment , feel free to request .

🧸 minor x adult , or minors in a nsfw setting in general . this is self explanatory . i am uncomfortable with writing this

🧸 “ futanari / dickgirl “ first of all those terms are transmisogynistic . second , i will not write trans women in a fetishy way . you may request x reader fics where reader is trans however !! ( this also applies to trans men , however i decided to highlight trans women because i see this sort of stuff happen more often w trans girls )

🧸 anything that could be considered “ dark fiction “ will most likely not be accepted . this includes stuff such as kidnapping , noncon ( rape ) , etc . but you may test your luck as i tend to be a little more flexible with this . ( do not request non con though . i am very uncomfortable writing it !! dubcon is fine though )

🧸 lastly , test your luck ! if you want to request something that may be questionable but is not specified here , feel free to do so . don’t be scared to test your luck , i don’t bite ♡

please note that just because something isnt specified here , that does not mean that your request will be accepted ! i may decline a request without specifying why . this does not mean i have an issue with the request ! it could just be because your request is something i am unfamiliar with so i might not do it , so please respect it ♡

NOTE ellie is 5’10+ in my fics . i am a tall girl so i like to imagine her being even taller than me .. so pls don’t be confused if she’s mentioned to be super tall hehe that’s why

NOTE i also am currently only writing ellie !! sry to dina and abby enjoyers </3 however if i rlly like ur request i’ll still do it so don’t be shy and feel free to request anyway !!

NOTE english isn’t my first language so i may make some mistakes or word things weirdly , i also don’t have a beta reader .. if u find a mistake in any of my works feel free to correct me ^_^

please know when i’m writing my x reader fics , i try my best to not add / write any descriptions of physical appearance to be inclusive to all . however , reader’s personality is heavily based on mine , so please do not ask me to write her differently personality - wise . if you dislike the way i write reader’s personality , my blog is not for you . ♡

[geekforhorror]

Babe what are the rules for requests?

rules

what i WILL write

nsfw content, fluff, angst, fem!reader, headcanons, mental health issues, trauma

nsfw includes: bdsm, d/s power dynamic, dacryphilia, bondage, humiliation kink, mommy kink, daddy kink, pegging, masturbation, oral sex, degradation, praise kink, p in v sex, edging, orgasm denial, use of a vibrator, dry humping, creampie, corruption kink, fingering, hair pulling, sex toys, spit play, cum play, size kink, anal sex, thigh riding.

what i will NOT write

incest, piss kink, age play, somno, scat, ddlg/ddmg, non-con, pedophilia, abuse, yandere content, cannibalism, pregnancy, underage x legal age relationship, oc’s, celebrity smut, trans!reader, male x male reader, gender neutral reader

who i write for: anakin skywalker, luke skywalker, padme amidala, aj (takers 2010), clay beresford, james kelly, sam monroe.

[cardinal-copia-popia]

Hi ghestie, love your writing! A humble little request if you're up for it, but Copia/Papa IV in a platonic/paternal way comforting a trans male reader who had an emotionally abusive Catholic father who never allowed them to express their feelings or accepted them growing up and needs some reassurance after going no contact and joining the Clergy that they're safe now and everything's okay? Totally unrelated to my own daddy issues and clinging to Papa as a comfort character of course ahem

Thank you for this request, ghestie! I hope I did it justice! ❤️❤️❤️

Mirrored here on AO3

If anyone has any requests, send them my way (see pinned post for more info)!

Welcome Home

You sniffed, attempting to stay quiet, not wanting to draw attention to yourself. Not that anyone else was in the chapel at that time. You had come here to be alone and think.

All of this was so different for you, this… acceptance. You could hardly believe it was true. In fact, you didn’t. Not always. You continually expected the bubble to burst, that your… father would suddenly appear before you, and you would find yourself back in your previous situation. It seemed as though you had gone from one religious extreme to the next, but where one had been horrible, being here at the Abbey was almost too good to be true.

The sound of the chapel doors squeaking open made you jump, but you stayed facing forward, hoping whoever it was would not notice you. But that was apparently too much to hope for. The sound of footfalls grew steadily louder as the person approached you until they stopped altogether. You half expected to be reprimanded for being in there or be told to leave.

“Brother?”

You startled again, this time because you realized the person was Copia. You turned to look at him, finding him standing at the end of the pew behind you with a look of concern on his face. He was in his black robes and papal paint, likely about to get ready for confessions.

“Are you alright?” he continued.

You swallowed and nodded. “Yes, Papa. Fine.”

Copia gestured toward the pew. “May I sit?”

You nodded again and watched him out of the corner of your eye as he shuffled between the pews to sit next to you.

“Forgive me, brother, but you do not seem alright,” he said gently. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine! But… Just know I’m here to listen, sì?”

You gazed up at him for a moment before returning your attention to the pew in front of you. "None of this feels real. I'd never been accepted for who I am before until I got here. I keep expecting it to all end, that I'll turn a corner and there my father will be, and I just can't—" You broke off to take a deep breath.

Papa placed a hand on your shoulder. He knew your situation and had been nothing but supportive of you, as had everyone else at the Abbey who knew. "You're safe here, you know that, sì? Your father cannot get you here. No one will ever hurt you again, not as long as I have anything to say about it."

You looked up at him again, tears shining in your eyes. "I know, Papa. I'm not used to being able to just be me. I don't even know if I know how to be me."

Papa smiled. "Well, we will help you with that, brother. It will take time, but just know you will always have our support." He gave your shoulder a squeeze. "You will always have my support."

You closed your eyes and nodded. That was all you wanted. "I may have only been here a short time, but you've been more of a father to me than my actual father," you admitted quietly. "Thank you for that, Papa."

"There's no need to thank me, brother. I am more than happy to fill that role for you. You may always depend on me."

On impulse, you wrapped your arms around him, pressing your face to his chest. You had never felt more relieved and accepted and happy than in that moment. 

"Thank you," you whispered through your tears.

Copia soothingly rubbed your back. "Of course. Welcome home… son."

[kirishimaswife2819]

MHA/BNHA Masterlist

MHA/BNHA Masterlist 2

Request Information

Key:

❤= Female Reader 💙= Male Reader 💛= Gender Neutral Reader

☁=fluff ☾=angst

Definitions:

Headcanons- A bullet point list of different things that have to do with a certain idea/scenario Scenario- A certain scenario, normally written with multiple characters Oneshot- A story with a character, that’s over 1000 words Drabble- A short story with a character, that’s less than 1000 words

General Abbreviations:

Y/n= your first name L/n= your last name F/c= favorite color H/c=hair color E/c=eye color (If it’s an abbreviation that’s not used too often it’ll be listed at the top of the story)

☆ STUDENTS ☆

Izuku Midoriya

Headcanons

With S/o On Their Period ❤ ☁

With S/o That Loves Their Lips 💛 ☁

With a S/o Who Has Toxic Friends 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has a Twin 💛 ☁

Comforting Their S/o During A Thunderstorm  💛 ☁

With a Touch Starved S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That’s Never Seen Snow Before 💛 ☁

What They Do For Valentine’s Day 💛 ☁

With a Foreign S/o 💛 ☁

With S/o That Has Trouble Taking Care Of Themself 💛 ☁

With Reckless S/o 💛 ☁

With Ticklish S/o 💛 ☁

Relationship Firsts 💛 (500 Followers Special) ☁

With Overachiever S/o 💛 ☁

When Their Neurodivergent S/o is Overstimulating 💛 ☁

With a Loud, Expressive, and Outgoing S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has Daddy Issues 💛 ☁

Surprising Their S/o On Their Birthday 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Owns a Rabbit 💛 ☁

Falling for a Pregnant S/o ❤ ☁ 

With a S/o That Scratches Their Head When Stressed 💛 ☁

With a S/o That’s Insecure About Their Eczema 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Can’t Sleep Without a Certain Stuffed Animal 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Doesn’t Get Enough Sleep 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Drinks Too Much Pop/Soda 💛 ☁

With a S/o That’s Always the Second Choice 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Gets Sudden Bursts of Energy and Then “Crashes” 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Owns a Snake 💛 ☁

Playing Minecraft Survival with Their S/o 💛 ☁

Comforting Their S/o During a Panic Attack 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Doesn’t Like Touch 💛  ☾/☁?(idrk)

Asking Permission to Date Aizawa’s Daughter ❤ ☁

Comforting Their S/o After a Really Bad and Embarrassing Tic Attack 💛 ☁

What They Do When You Ask Them To Hold Your Drink 💛 ☁

Finding Out You Keep a Sketchbook of Them 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Keeps Things They Give to Them in a Box 💛 ☁

Asking Them If You Can Paint Their Nails 💛 ☁

With a Fem!S/o That Has Dermatillomania and is Insecure About Showing Their Arms and Legs ❤ ☁

Scenarios

Reacting to Their Girlfriend Coming Out as Trans ❤ ☁

Walking In On You Changing 💛 ☁

Dying Your Hair Like Theirs 💛 ☁

Reaction to Their Stoic S/o Getting Emotional Over Something Small 💛 ☁

Reaction to S/o Accidentally Kicking Them In Their Sleep 💛 ☁

Oneshots

A Night To Remember || Summary: You’ve always had a rough relationship with your mother, and you get emotional after meeting Midoriya’s mom 💛 ☁

Second Choice || Summary: Izuku likes both you and Uraraka, but you’re always the second choice, so after removing yourself from the equation, you fall for Bakugou. But years later, Izuku wants you back 💛 ☁ ☾

Drabbles

None so far

Katsuki Bakugou

Headcanons

With S/o On Their Period ❤ ☁

With S/o That Loves Their Lips 💛 ☁

With a S/o Who Has Toxic Friends 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has a Twin 💛 ☁

Comforting Their S/o During A Thunderstorm 💛 ☁

With a Touch Starved S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That’s Never Seen Snow Before 💛 ☁

What They Do For Valentine’s Day 💛 ☁

With a Foreign S/o 💛 ☁

With S/o That Has Trouble Taking Care Of Themself 💛 ☁

With Reckless S/o 💛 ☁

With Ticklish S/o 💛 ☁

Relationship Firsts 💛 (500 Followers Special) ☁

With Overachiever S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Owns a Rabbit 💛 ☁

Falling for a Pregnant S/o ❤ ☁

With a S/o That Forgets to Eat 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Loves Sanrio 💛 ☁

Taking Their S/o To Sanrio Puroland 💛 ☁

Helping Their S/o With Their Nicotine Addiction 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has Mommy Issues 💛 ☁

Meeting Their S/o’s Protective Grandfather ❤ ☁

Meeting a Tall and Intimidating S/o ❤ ☁

Kiribaku with an Adopted Daughter ❤ ☁

With a Touchy S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Loves and Owns Cats 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has An Accent That They Can’t Understand 💛 ☁

With a Crush/S/o That Is Tsuyu’s Childhood Best Friend 💛 ☁

Playing Just Dance with Their S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Owns a Snake 💛 ☁

Reaction to S/o With Trust Issues Falling Asleep On Them 💛 ☁

Playing Minecraft Survival with Their S/o 💛 ☁

Comforting Their S/o During a Panic Attack 💛 ☁

Asking Permission to Date Aizawa’s Daughter ❤ ☁

With a Very Clean S/o ❤ ☁

Reaction to Their Dumbass S/o Getting Kidnapped by Villains 💛 ☁

Comforting Their S/o After a Really Bad and Embarrassing Tic Attack 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Lives With Her Older Brother and His Chaotic College Roommates ❤ ☁

What They Do When You Ask Them To Hold Your Drink 💛 ☁

Asking Them If You Can Paint Their Nails 💛 ☁

With a Fem!S/o That Has Dermatillomania and is Insecure About Showing Their Arms and Legs ❤ ☁

Scenarios

Reacting to Their Girlfriend Coming Out as Trans ❤ ☁

Walking In On You Changing 💛 ☁

Dying Your Hair Like Theirs 💛 ☁

Reaction to S/o Accidentally Kicking Them In Their Sleep 💛 ☁

Oneshots

Second Choice || Summary: Izuku likes both you and Uraraka, but you’re always the second choice, so after removing yourself from the equation, you fall for Bakugou. But years later, Izuku wants you back 💛 ☁ ☾

Cold Days || Summary: Whenever it’s cold out, you and Katsuki always have an all day cuddle session. But this time, Kaminari decides to interrupt and make Bakugou mad 💛 ☁

Drabbles

None so far

Eijiro Kirishima

Headcanons

With S/o On Their Period ❤ ☁

With S/o That Loves Their Lips 💛 ☁

With a S/o Who Has Toxic Friends 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has a Twin 💛 ☁

Comforting Their S/o During A Thunderstorm 💛 ☁

With a Touch Starved S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That’s Never Seen Snow Before 💛 ☁

What They Do For Valentine’s Day 💛 ☁

With a Foreign S/o 💛 ☁

With S/o That Has Trouble Taking Care Of Themself 💛 ☁

With Reckless S/o 💛 ☁

With Ticklish S/o 💛 ☁

Relationship Firsts 💛 (500 Followers Special) ☁

With Overachiever S/o 💛 ☁

When Their Neurodivergent S/o is Overstimulating 💛 ☁

Surprising Their S/o On Their Birthday 💛 ☁

Falling for a Pregnant S/o ❤ ☁

With a S/o That Scratches Their Head When Stressed 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Can’t Sleep Without a Certain Stuffed Animal 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Doesn’t Get Enough Sleep 💛 ☁

With a S/o That’s Always the Second Choice 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Forgets to Eat 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Loves Sanrio 💛 ☁

Taking Their S/o To Sanrio Puroland 💛 ☁

Helping Their S/o With Their Nicotine Addiction 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has Mommy Issues 💛 ☁

Meeting Their S/o’s Protective Grandfather ❤ ☁

Meeting a Tall and Intimidating S/o ❤ ☁

With a Touchy S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Loves and Owns Cats 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has An Accent That They Can’t Understand 💛 ☁

Asking Out Bakugou’s Twin Sister 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Can’t Handle Continuous Affection 💛 ☁

With a Small Chested S/o ❤ ☁

With a S/o That Uses Humor as a Coping Mechanism 💛 ☁

With a Mute S/o 💛 ☁

Kiribaku with an Adopted Daughter ❤ ☁

Playing Just Dance with Their S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Owns a Snake 💛 ☁

Reaction to S/o With Trust Issues Falling Asleep On Them 💛 ☁

Playing Minecraft Survival with Their S/o 💛 ☁

Asking Permission to Date Aizawa’s Daughter ❤ ☁

With a S/o That Lives With Her Older Brother and His Chaotic College Roommates ❤ ☁

What They Do When You Ask Them To Hold Your Drink 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Keeps Things They Give to Them in a Box 💛 ☁

Reaction to Overhearing Somebody Make Fun of Their Plus-sized!S/o 💛 ☁

Asking Them If You Can Paint Their Nails 💛 ☁

With a Fem!S/o That Has Dermatillomania and is Insecure About Showing Their Arms and Legs ❤ ☁

Scenarios

Reacting to Their Girlfriend Coming Out as Trans ❤ ☁

Walking In On You Changing 💛 ☁

Dying Your Hair Like Theirs 💛 ☁

Reaction to S/o Accidentally Kicking Them In Their Sleep 💛 ☁

Oneshots

Ferris Wheel Kiss || Summary: You meet Kirishima at an ice cream shop after you get stood up, and then you go to the fair together 💛 ☁

Confessions || Summary: After realizing your feelings for Kirishima, it starts to overwhelm you, so you start to avoid Kirishima, but he doesn’t take you avoiding him very well 💛 ☁ ☾

Drabbles

Thunderstorms || Summary: On rainy days, you and Kirishima normally sit at the window and watch the rain, but today it’s not just rain, it’s a thunderstorm and you’re terrified of thunderstorms 💛 ☁

Shoto Todoroki

Headcanons

With S/o On Their Period ❤ ☁

With S/o That Loves Their Lips 💛 ☁

With a S/o Who Has Toxic Friends 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has a Twin 💛 ☁

Comforting Their S/o During A Thunderstorm 💛 ☁

With a Touch Starved S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That’s Never Seen Snow Before 💛 ☁

What They Do For Valentine’s Day 💛 ☁

With a Foreign S/o 💛 ☁

With S/o That Has Trouble Taking Care Of Themself 💛 ☁

With Reckless S/o 💛 ☁

With Ticklish S/o 💛 ☁

Relationship Firsts 💛 (500 Followers Special) ☁

With Overachiever S/o 💛 ☁

When Their Neurodivergent S/o is Overstimulating 💛 ☁

With a Loud, Expressive, and Outgoing S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has Daddy Issues 💛 ☁

Surprising Their S/o On Their Birthday 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Owns a Rabbit 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Scratches Their Head When Stressed 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Forgets to Eat 💛 ☁

Meeting a Tall and Intimidating S/o ❤ ☁

With a S/o That Loves and Owns Cats 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Can’t Handle Continuous Affection 💛 ☁

With an Anemic S/o 💛 ☁

Playing Just Dance with Their S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Owns a Snake 💛 ☁

Playing Minecraft Survival with Their S/o 💛 ☁

Comforting Their S/o During a Panic Attack 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Doesn’t Like Touch 💛  ☾/☁?(idrk)

Asking Permission to Date Aizawa’s Daughter ❤ ☁

What They Do When You Ask Them To Hold Your Drink 💛 ☁

Asking Them If You Can Paint Their Nails 💛 ☁

With a Fem!S/o That Has Dermatillomania and is Insecure About Showing Their Arms and Legs ❤ ☁

Scenarios

Walking In On You Changing 💛 ☁

Dying Your Hair Like Theirs 💛 ☁

Reaction to Their Stoic S/o Getting Emotional Over Something Small 💛 ☁

Reaction to S/o Accidentally Kicking Them In Their Sleep 💛 ☁

Oneshots

Kitty || Summary: You get hit by a quirk that turns you into a cat, and Shoto finds you and takes you home  ❤ ☁

Drabbles

None so far

Denki Kaminari

Headcanons

With S/o On Their Period ❤ ☁

With S/o That Loves Their Lips 💛 ☁

With a S/o Who Has Toxic Friends 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has a Twin 💛 ☁

Comforting Their S/o During A Thunderstorm 💛 ☁

With a Touch Starved S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That’s Never Seen Snow Before 💛 ☁

What They Do For Valentine’s Day 💛 ☁

With a Foreign S/o 💛 ☁

With S/o That Has Trouble Taking Care Of Themself 💛 ☁

With Reckless S/o 💛 ☁

With Ticklish S/o 💛 ☁

Relationship Firsts 💛 (500 Followers Special) ☁

With Overachiever S/o 💛 ☁

With a Loud, Expressive, and Outgoing S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has Daddy Issues 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Drinks Too Much Pop/Soda 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Forgets to Eat 💛 ☁

With a Touchy S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Has An Accent That They Can’t Understand 💛 ☁

With a Small Chested S/o ❤ ☁

With a S/o That Uses Humor as a Coping Mechanism 💛 ☁

With an Anemic S/o 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Really Likes Drawing 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Gets Sudden Bursts of Energy and Then “Crashes” 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Owns a Snake 💛 ☁

Reaction to S/o With Trust Issues Falling Asleep On Them 💛 ☁

Playing Minecraft Survival with Their S/o 💛 ☁

Asking Permission to Date Aizawa’s Daughter ❤ ☁

With a S/o That Scratches Their Head When Stressed 💛 ☁

Comforting Their S/o After a Really Bad and Embarrassing Tic Attack 💛 ☁

With a S/o That Lives With Her Older Brother and His Chaotic College Roommates ❤ ☁

Asking Them If You Can Paint Their Nails 💛 ☁

Scenarios

Reacting to Their Girlfriend Coming Out as Trans ❤ ☁

Walking In On You Changing 💛 ☁

Dying Your Hair Like Theirs 💛 ☁

Reaction to S/o Accidentally Kicking Them In Their Sleep 💛 ☁

Oneshots

Pikachu || Summary: You and Denki are best friends and you accidentally confess your feelings to him one night 💛 ☁

Cheesy Romance || Summary: You’re whipped for Denki Kaminari and flirt with him all the time, and eventually one day he confesses his feelings to you 💛 ☁

Overprotective Dads Are a Pain || Summary: Aizawa has done his best to keep you from ending up with Denki Kaminari, but he can’t stop you two from getting together, forever, and he may have to just accept the fact that you two are going to end up together, one way or another ❤ ☁

Drabbles

None so far

Mina Ashido

Headcanons

Asking Permission to Date Aizawa’s Daughter ❤ ☁

With a S/o That Lives With Her Older Brother and His Chaotic College Roommates ❤ ☁

What They Do When You Ask Them To Hold Your Drink 💛 ☁

Scenarios

None yet

Oneshots

None yet

Drabbles

None yet

Ochaco Uraraka

Headcanons

Asking Permission to Date Aizawa’s Daughter ❤ ☁

What They Do When You Ask Them To Hold Your Drink 💛 ☁

Scenarios

None yet

Oneshots

None yet

Drabbles

None yet

☆ VILLAINS ☆

Dabi

Headcanons

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[gatorbites-imagines]

me looking for wesker x male reader but with no sub reader,daddy kink (wesker beimg the daddy plus i think daddy kink is cringey for me) , FUCKING misgendering kink, absolutely feminetion (idk how to spell it) dubcon/noncon ,torture (bruh???) , RAPE. "reader but with a vag-" bruh just say fem reader you literally misgender it so much bro

im literally crying because i could not find sub wesker content and the amount of sub reader content for wesker has me crying there is a male reader x wesker but GODDAM it has fucking rape a god amount of misgendering and shit and youre my only hope fpr making it *crys*

-egg anon.

Me when I found Wesker x trans guy reader and it was smth like this too. I also have no issue with Daddy kink but Wesker feels more like a master or a sir tbh 🤔. I know Wesker is a villain but damn,,, even villains gotta have standards why so much noncon.

[earth2068]

Bruh I used they the second time, sorry, it's not my fault if my brain defaults to male. You could just have said "spoilers" if you didn't want to talk about their daddy issues.

okay. step into my office for a moment.

dont call me bruh. you didnt know i dont like this so im not mad about it but just for future reference dont do that

i dont care if you got it right the second time. get it right all the time.

no, its not your fault your brain defaults to male, but it is your fault if you dont do anything about it. i have a right to be frustrated when you misgender a character of mine, especially when i have had not one, but two pages explicitly stating their pronouns.

this is an extremely poor reaction. when someone corrects you when you misgender someone, you apologize, correct yourself, make a mental note to do better next time, and move on. what you DONT do is make excuses and get pissy about it. when you get defensive, that tells people you care more about preserving your pride than you do about doing the bare minimum to treat trans people with any amount of respect. if you act this way in real life you will alienate every single trans person you ever interact with.

id love to talk about their daddy issues, but i didnt answer your question because A) i was more frustrated by your misgendering of vermillion than i was eager to talk about their daddy issues and B) it wasnt a question.

6. having trans characters is not a worldview. supporting trans people is not a worldview. youre embarrassing yourself. 7. if anyone else thinks that this is a plot hole, do let me know. until then i am going to assume that you are the only person who thinks that. 8. i dont like being upset with members of my own audience. i have lots of respect for my readers, i am very grateful for them. but you cant just go into my askbox, be transphobic, and expect me to indulge you. i am frustrated, not as a creator, but as a human being. 9. i have no intention of continuing this dialogue.

you may leave my office.

[belfrygargoyles]

*whispers* I would like to hear what you have to say on reader inserts in the SW fandom because I too have a problem with them and I feel like not enough people are calling it out 👉👈

I’ve made a few posts about it in the past but I think it’s high time I actually Do This and really get into it.

Before I start: 1) This will be in specific reference to fanfiction written for the Star Wars fandom, particularly tcw and the mandalorian eras, 2) A lot of the issues come down to racist fetishization of men of color by white women; I am white, so there is much that is simply not my place to make statements on. What I can speak most on is my take from the gender side of things.

I’d honestly recommend reading this post by @nibeul with addition by @clonehub first, as they discuss the core issue with reader inserts in the Star Wars fandom.

And 3) some of this will involve discussion of sexual acts (as they relate to fanfiction) and sexual fantasies. These discussions will be non-explicit, and no pornographic text or content will be displayed.

Also. I’m GNC and nonbinary. I’m also a very feminine looking person that falls under the generalization of “small and petite.” I don’t have dysphoria, I like my body and the traits I have, and treating them like inherently female sends me into a blind fury. This is, unfortunately, important.

For the sake of making sure I come across as clearly as possible, I will be writing as though the reader of this post has never read or is broadly unfamiliar with reader-insert fanfiction.

Without further ado.

Hey, Star Wars reader insert fic writers? Please get your shit together.

INTRODUCTION

I’ve been reading reader-insert fanfiction since I was a grade schooler waking up early to check Quizilla. I love it! It got me into fandom, kept me engaged, helped me make and develop some of my oldest OCs, and it’s just fun to read and write- it’s like a self-indulgent little gift you can give to a bunch of people all at once. Because who doesn’t like the idea of starring in their own little adventure, usually alongside some of their favorite characters? It can be fun, immersive, get you attached in ways other ways of fandom interaction may not, make you feel just a little bit special, or be a way to express some feelings you might have about canon and the way the story went.

Like any form of fiction, it ends up saying more about the author’s feelings than anything else, whether the author realizes it or not. For many, many authors of reader-insert fanfiction, the primary enjoyment comes from writing “themselves” into the story- before the readers, the author most often makes the “reader character” someone they, themselves, can relate to and substitute for themselves. They write to live out a self-indulgent fantasy they have, and their readers can come along for the ride.

Some writers do actually try to write as diverse or as vague of a reader character as possible- as few details about the body, identity, etc. as possible so anyone could superimpose their image without the narrative directly contradicting it. This is not the kind of reader insert author I will be discussing.

The kind of author I will be discussing is the one most common in the Star Wars tag on Ao3: White, AFAB, cisgender, gender-conforming, able-bodied women who assume all of their readers are also White, AFAB, cisgender, gender-conforming, able-bodied women. Yes, you can tell.

ISSUE: fetishization of men of color

Again, this post puts it in the best words, but there is a rampant problem with Star Wars reader-inserts, particularly those involving the clones, Boba Fett, and Din Djarin, fetishizing characters played by men of color as either “physically aggressive and threatening, hypersexual and dominant, big strong men who are scary because they do violence and fuck constantly when they’re not” or “completely inexperienced baby who doesn’t know anything about things and needs a gentle nurturing guiding touch to introduce him to the mere idea of a vagina.” The former is common across all of them, the latter most common among clone trooper fics or Din/Reader.

I went into the Boba Fett/Reader tag on Ao3, because I like him and hoped to find something alright. Here are some stats I tallied up (give or take some) based solely on tags, summaries, and warnings:

There are 284 works in the Boba Fett/Reader category as of the time of this post.

198/284 are rated E for explicit sexual content. 69.7% of all Boba Fett/Reader works are sexually explicit.

259/284 are in the F/M category. 91.2% of all Boba Fett/Reader works involve an explicitly female or AFAB reader.

24/284 are tagged with or mention “Age difference,” “Older man/Younger woman,” “Innocence kink” or “Virginity kink.” 8.4% of all Boba Fett/Reader works are written explicitly with an age gap, with Boba Fett as the older party

26/198 E rated fics are tagged with or make reference to “Daddy kink” or involve the reader being called some variation of “little girl” by Boba. 13% of all E-rated works under Boba Fett/Reader are daddy kink fics, or allude to Boba Fett being a daddy dom/sugar daddy.

102/198 E rated fics are tagged as, make reference to, or suggest in the summary that Boba Fett takes a dominant sexual role with a submissive reader involving rough or painful play, or make reference to Boba Fett being frightening, physically intimidating, having a power dynamic over the reader, or being possessive or violent. 51.51% of all E-rated works under Boba Fett/Reader portray Boba Fett as sexually dominant and/or enacting use of physical force or pain play.

Just using this as an example, because it’s the easiest stats I can gather and also what made me realize there was a pattern.

The problem isn’t even necessarily that people write explicit fic about Boba- it’s that 1) over half of all fics in the category are explicitly pornographic, and 2) the way those pornographic fics are written. The two things compound on each other. They’re dominance fantasies projected onto a character of color in which he becomes extremely sexual, physically rough with the reader, possessive, and demeaning towards a reader character who is always written as White, AFAB, and petite.

This brings me to the next issue.

ISSUE: The way sexual relationships are portrayed.

Let me clarify so there is no chance of me being misunderstood: sex is good. Liking and wanting and enjoying sex isn’t bad. It is not bad if you are AFAB and have submissive fantasies. It is not bad to be sexually attracted to a man of color. You can write about sex even if you haven’t had it. Writing about sex can be a good way to express some more complicated feelings you could have about certain things. It doesn’t even have to be realistic. It has its time and it has its place.

This being said.

Sexual relationships as they are portrayed in the vast majority of E-rated Star Wars reader inserts are… not great.

The reader is always AFAB. I can think of maybe one fic off the top of my head where an AFAB reader was written with they/them pronouns and not just she/her.

The reader is almost always submissive, the dominant character is almost always portrayed as cis male. Even when the characters are supposed to just be having spontaneous casual sex, D/S or BDSM aspects will be introduced with no prior discussion or talks about it afterwards. Sometimes characters will start using dirty talk and it just does not fit at all, but it’s what the author thought was hot.

Sometimes, it just reads like a quick smutty oneshot. More often than that, it reads like the author doesn’t realize that sex… isn’t always a dom/sub thing. Or that someone can take the lead in sex and that doesn’t automatically make them a dom.

It’s not bad to be inexperienced. It’s not bad to have preferences or kinks or specific turn-ons.

But it gets… tiring to read, over and over and over and over, because that’s all there is.

That and… I dunno, it just has me a little worried? It doesn’t make me feel good knowing so many people can only portray a sexual relationship if it’s dom/sub. I don’t know why it makes me so uneasy.

Vanilla sex isn’t a bad thing I promise. It's this feeling of insistence that something "spicy" absolutely has to happen for it to be worth writing that gives... some weird vibes.

I’m going to move on to the next Big-

ISSUE: Every “reader” character is exactly the same

By which I mean the following:

Always cis AFAB female

If a character is written with gender neutral pronouns they will always be AFAB and written like Girl Lite

I have never seen an explicitly stated nonbinary/gnc reader character unless it was a request specifically for a nonbinary reader

I have never seen a gender neutral reader insert fic where the reader was AMAB

I have seen a grand total of 1 cis male reader fic and 1 trans male reader fic. The trans male reader fic was about dysphoria.

The reader is allowed to have one of the following backstories: slave/runaway, mechanic, medic, ex-Rebel, secret Jedi, bounty hunter.

The reader is allowed to have one of the following personality traits: throws knives, babysitter, completely civilian, WOMAN, says curse words.

The reader is never written with any narrative agency- things only ever happen to the reader character or around the reader character, they are never written to take charge and actually affect things on their own. Essentially the sexy lamp trope.

Remember when I said the majority of people writing Star Wars reader-insert fanfic on Ao3 were White, cisgender AFAB women who are gender-conforming and able-bodied? This is how you can tell.

It’s at this point where you can tell they’re really not meant to be reader-inserts, but author-inserts with the names removed- they were only meant for a very narrow selection of readers.

I’m nonbinary, I’m gnc, and I’m a very feminine looking person, generally speaking. I’m used to people looking at me and assuming oh, girl. I’m at peace with that.

I can barely stand reading some of these fics just because of how much the author emphasizes that the reader is FEMALE shes a WOMAN with BOOBS and a VAGINA and FEMININE WILES. There’s barely ever even a chance to give myself room to mentally vault over all the “she”s and “her”s because then I’m getting hit with Din or someone calling the reader “girl” or “the woman.” It’s unbearable, and I even fall into the general description every fucking fic author uses for their generic protagonist!

Even with the “gender-neutral reader” fics, it is just. Painfully clear that they just wrote a female character and changed the pronouns- no, there is no such thing as “male behavior” or “female behavior,” and I quite heartily rebel against the concept of gender essentialism. And honestly, I can barely even begin piecing together how I know it and what it feels like, because it’s just one of those vague conglomerates of cues and writing patterns I can’t consciously pick up on but I know it’s there- it’s frustrating, it’s demeaning, and it feels like you’d have to threaten these authors at gunpoint to get them to write a reader character who was any major deviation from the same three cutouts they use every time.

It seems like they can’t possibly force themselves to write a reader character who isn’t meek and submissive or has the sole personality traits of “mean and can hit things”- you can actually strike a balance between “absolutely no personality” and “fleshed out oc” you know? And you don’t actually have to tell the reader what their hair looks like or how full their figure is

It’s like 2:20 AM and I started this at like 8something PM but.

I’m someone who loves reader-inserts. I enjoy them. I still check for new ones regularly. I’ve been reading them for well over half my life now.

So many of these authors are just locked in on exactly one way to write things and it fucking shows. It’s like a self-feeding loop, they just keep writing the same things and the same dynamics because they see each other doing it and they never think about taking a step back.

It’s… exhausting. I’m exhausted. If you’re a reader-insert fic writer and you want to improve your reader character inclusivity and have also read this far, you can DM me or shoot me an ask.

[monipoka]

Addressing Content Warning Concerns

I am writing in response to points that were brought up concerning my recent post. If you haven’t read that post, you can find it here.

Be warned that this is a very long post (2.8k words). It deals with the topics of pedophilia and rape. Opinions expressed are my own; however, I do offer some resources for you to better educate yourself on this post’s content.

I will not provide a link to the user that responded as she had no ill intentions. Disclaimer if the said user reads this post, I write with peace and love at 4:00 A.M. There are a couple of places where I may sound aggressive or petty, but it is analytical and not meant to invalidate you or your opinions.

Red = user’s response with minimal changes (adjusted for grammar and clarification)

Black = my response

Part 1: Age Regression and Infantilization

To learn more about age regression, here are two lovely articles describing what age regression means medically and socially.

“Age regression [agere] is a form of coping meant to eliminate stress in potentially triggering situations. Agere is not a part of sexual play and never should be. I believe [Moni] is confusing agere for age play.”

This completely misses the mark. I understand that age regressors enter a younger psychological state often as a coping mechanism. There is nothing inherently wrong with age regression as therapy. My complaints are that people are FETISHIZING age regression. As stated in my post, age regressors enter the mindset of a child commonly called a “little space.” These individuals are to be treated like children as it helps them feel safe and loved.

In my experience on Tumblr, writers commonly misinterpret Daddy Dominant, Little Girl (DDLG) or Age Play (the larger, umbrella term) for age regression. For the purposes of explanation, I am going to be using DDLG and she/her pronouns. DDLG is a type of BDSM relationship where the dominant partner (male) takes on the role of a care-giver while the submissive partner (female) takes on the role of a child. This dynamic is pretend and intended for sexual interactions. Keyword here: pretend. While the submissive portrays childish behavior, she still has an adult mindset; therefore, she can give meaningful consent. Once writers describe the submissive slipping into “little space,” her mindset is corrupt as she has age regressed; therefore, she cannot give meaningful consent making the interaction non-consensual as she embodies a child.

“Infantilization is treating somebody as if they’re a child. For example, ‘babying’ someone is the best explanation for it. This, in my opinion, is not pedophilia because it’s not inherently sexual. If it IS sexual, I wouldn’t necessarily classify it as pedophilic, but it is questionable.”

Again, this misses the mark. In a non-sexual context, infantilization is completely okay. My complaints are that people are FETISHIZING the infantilization of characters. I used this term as an alternative language to age regression because I have encountered both on this site.

“Age Play, in my opinion, is pedophilic due to how the 'older’ of the partners is benefitting from it. So if [Moni] and I are thinking the same thing, but not really using the same terminology, then I agree.”

Age Play is a kink in the BDSM community between two consenting and level-headed adults.

Age Regression is characterized by regressing back to a younger headspace.

Sexualizing age regression is pedophilic because age regressors feel, act, and exhibit childlike qualities; they genuinely believe that they are a child.

If age play includes “little space,” then it is pedophilic because the submissive has age regressed.

“None of these is what I would consider illegal due to the fact that both parties are consenting adults. But age play definitely is pedophilic. But, obviously, if both people are adults, it can’t be considered illegal.”

I called pedophilia (and rape) illegal. In the eyes of the law, sexualizing age play--given that the individual is of age--is legal. This point used the transitive property of equality (Trans POE) to point out the hypocrisy in condemning pedophilia but supporting the fetishization of age regression. To clarify, it may not be illegal, but it is morally wrong.

“Infantilization and age regression aren’t inherently pedophilic because they revolve around the idea of a mindset and not physicality.”

This is contradictory to your previous point and only half true. Age regressors largely rely on physical objects (ie. clothes, stuffed animals, pacifiers) to feel safe. While the root of age regression involves a change in psyche, it is reflected in their appearance and environment.

Part 2: Dubious Consent and Non-consensual

To learn more about rape, here is a wonderful article on non-consensual sex.

“Secondly, I’m quite confused on what she [Moni] is saying regarding calling dubcon [dubious consent] and noncon [non-consentual] rape instead of dubcon and noncon.

They are rape, or at least some form of sexual assault, but I don’t think anyone’s trying to mask them from being as such.”

I whole-heartedly disagree. It is apparent by the staggering number of dubcon and noncon posts that people use these terms to try and justify writing rape because they consider it a “fetish.” The reason I am against these terms is that writers never specifically condemn them. Oftentimes, writers mix the content of the fic into their warning section. So, by writing ‘blowjob’ next to ‘dubcon’ it underscores the severity of the situation.

“Categorizing both of the two as 'rape’ could potentially end up being very damaging. Rape is a very triggering and harsh word for some people, which is why I believe a lot of people use non-consensual sex as a term to avoid potentially triggering people.”

Again, I believe that people use dubcon and noncon to try and justify their rape “fetish.” However, if using the term “rape” is triggering to some individuals and the terms “dubcon” and “noncon” are used as a substitution, why aren’t these writers coming out and explicitly saying that they do not support these types of interactions? Furthermore, why are they writing and sharing this content in the first place if they acknowledge it as rape?

“Also, I think it’s important to clarify whether the 'sexual assault’ in fiction is dubious or non-consensual. There’s a big difference between both parties being drunk in a fic (dubcon) and hard rape, and it’s important to distinguish the two in warning columns.”

Drunk people can’t consent. Both situations are rape. The “level” of rape that you refer to, being how consensual it is, is more damaging in my opinion. Because they were drunk, it means less than if they were sober. This perpetuates victim shaming. She was asking for it. She shouldn’t have drunk so much. Rape is rape. It is never okay. And one rape is never better than another.

“Dubcon is also very important to clarify in fics due to the fact that dubcon is only a fictional concept. It helps indicate the level of consent given in the fiction because someone could be not triggered by sex under intoxication but can be triggered by hard noncon.”

I’m going to use a quote I cited from this source because I feel that the writer describes dubcon more eloquently than I can: “What bothers me the most about this situation, and what I think you are partly getting at here, is when people say that their fic isn't "noncon" or they say it is "dubcon" or "noncon depending on your point of view." Come on! Have the guts to admit that what they're writing is rape. Dubious consent bothers me as a qualifier because if you aren't sure whether someone is consenting, you don't do it or it's rape. No excuses. So, I think that people should just bite the bullet and say, this is a rape fic.... If people want to write rape fic, go for it, and I will probably read it, but let's step up and acknowledge what it is we are writing. I take issue with these qualifiers because I think that it is far more insidious than out and out rape porn. At least when we say it is rape, then we can move on to the next step: saying it's wrong, just a fantasy, etc. But avoiding the label perpetuates the rape myths that have had such a damaging effect on victims and justice: did she enjoy it, she didn't really say no, she was a tease, they've done it before. None of those things matter, and when a person labels their fic, they need to stop pretending they do.”

Essentially, the writer is reiterating what I explained in my previous comment that rape is rape. Another statement that I found describes how damaging fiction can be in real life. While most readers understand that what occurred didn’t really happen, there are real-life consequences attributed to it: “...However, not everyone in fandom uses those terms in those ways. And I think that's a problem that we need to fix. Because, especially when situations that exist in real life and that would be called rape in real life are labeled "dubcon," I think it does real harm to us all.....We currently live in a culture where not fighting back - because, for example, the rapist has threatened to kill you, or someone else, or your pet, if you don't go along with it - will very often get a rape case overturned in court. Where judges and juries and god knows the popular media will pick out and analyze every detail of a person's life to determine whether they were asking for it, whether they secretly wanted it, whether they could have conceivably fought back more than they did, why they didn't scream, why they didn't report the blackmail that was used to control them, whether or not their "consent" might've been implicitly given by winks or nods or secret handshakes or a general miasma of sexual invitation. In other words, we live in a world in which rape culture, a thing we all unwittingly participate in at one time or another, works very very hard to label things dubcon when they're really noncon.”

“Most people 'romanticizing’ non-consensual sex are victims who are trying to gain some sort of control over their trauma, so they have every right to do so. If a victim of rape should have the ability to choose whether or not they want to read/write a noncon fic and if they don’t want to use the word rape because it makes them uncomfortable, they don’t have to and shouldn’t be forced to.

As a victim of rape and sexual assault, I find peace in having the control and ability to write about my trauma. It's a way for me to gain back control that I lost and the word rape does make me uncomfortable, it makes many victims uncomfortable, and if I prefer not to use that word then I should not have to if people know synonymous terms.”

Romanticize: deal with or describe in an idealized or unrealistic fashion; make (something) seem better or more appealing than it really is.

If you are writing/reading smut, you are trying to get off. If you are writing/reading dubcon/noncon smut, you are getting off to rape. Instead of writing/reading about how heinous rape is and how disgusting rape culture is, you write/read fics romanticizing rape since as a reader you enjoy the content to some extent: it is with your favorite character, it takes place in a cool universe, it got you horny, you felt good after reading it. Romanticizing rape is damaging to society as it subconsciously makes rape appealing. I doubt that is the intention, but you can’t deny that these underlying connections exist.

There is a difference between writing to cope and writing to entertain. My intention has never been to victim shame. But writing non-consensual sex between anime characters and a reader-insert is a form of entertainment. Remember the purposes of writing we learned about in elementary school? Yeah, I have a hard time believing that this is therapeutic. Journal therapy uses reflective writing to work through trauma and mental health issues. In sexual assault cases specifically, victims often write about their experience and/or letters to their perpetrator(s). However, if this is your way to cope, that’s fine. But writing rape fics is not the same as sharing rape fics.

“People know the severity of noncon and dubcon, which is what I think [Moni] is missing. No one is trying to not make noncon rape because it is rape. People know that it is. Most people just chose to say 'noncon’ to avoid unnecessarily triggering others.”

Do they? I think to my previous comments in this section, people use these terms to downplay the seriousness of rape.

“And there are far more 'consensual’ fics out there than noncon/dubcon fics, so I don’t exactly understand what [Moni] means by 'romanticize’ or 'normalize it.’”

Two comments up I describe what romanticization is and how it is being done in the community. I’m going to ignore the number part of this statement because I feel that there is no relevance; If there is a platform for rape fics and people are engaging with them, numbers don’t matter relative to another type of fic. I call that authors romanticize consensual sex because it is oftentimes not explicitly stated, and I think it should be. The character(s) and reader are in a relationship and sex is a byproduct of that (I do not consider this dubcon). Personally, I have found very few fics where explicit consent is written in. People sometimes think that asking for consent interrupts the flow and ruins a moment. Works of fiction have an impact on real life, and writing/reading about consent serves to reinforce healthy practices.

“Going off of that, I don’t understand what [Moni] means by 'fairly young’ audiences. I'm hoping that most 18+ consumers are, you know, eighteen or older (obviously that's not the case in all situations), and eighteen is a legal adult. Most people over the age of eighteen are very aware of what these terms mean, and they know right from wrong. So, there should be no need to clarify what 'noncon’ is for them.”

My point is that this community is relatively young. I have not encountered many writers or readers who are over the age of 25 (if you are, kudos). At this age, you lack experience. Many of these readers have never had sex or been in a relationship before. While you might know the difference between rape and consensual sex on paper, some of these things are more subtle--especially in person. You referenced drunk sex as something that you’d classify as dubcon although intoxicated individuals can’t consent. I recently read a fic where the reader was drunk and picked up at the bar by a character. He asked the reader if they consented to sex and they agreed. This is still rape as you cannot consent while intoxicated since alcohol impairs judgment. Regardless of enjoyment, which the reader experienced, this is still sexual assault. Can you see the confusion by labeling that dubcon? What is a young adult to think when they’ve been manipulated into sex but told they consented? It’s confusing, so these terms should be clarified.

Part 3: Fiction

To learn more about how fiction affects reality, here is this interesting TED-Ed animation that summarizes fiction’s impact. Also, I read this article that cites more examples.

“Also, our writing shouldn’t have to equate 'good practices,’ because a healthy-minded individual knows how to separate fiction and reality. Give people the freedom to write about whatever they want, whether it’s in private or not, that's what fiction is for.”

You claim that you don’t want to use the word rape to trigger people, so you acknowledge that not all readers are health-minded as they could be suffering from trauma or mental illness. Likewise, some individuals can’t discern fiction from reality.

More importantly, there is a connection between fiction and reality.

“Finally, I don't think we should be so open with connecting real-life issues with fictional ones. No one is going to become a rapist or want to be raped because they read fiction on it unless they’re truly a rapist or have been raped. Equating fictional works to real-life problems is a little insulting, whether [Moni] intended it to be or not.”

Watch the video and read the article. Fiction directly impacts culture and society. It may be insulting, but it’s factual.

“Because in the end, in rape fiction, no one actually got raped. In pedophilic fiction (I don’t support it don’t get me wrong), no one was actually a victim of pedophilia. Because they’re all fictional.”

That doesn’t make it okay. Again, my problem is that writers ROMANTICIZE these topics which reflect poorly on society.

“If someone is concerned about pedophilia and rape fiction, I believe it would be best to work towards real-life solutions to those real-life problems compared to criticizing fiction authors.”

If you’re concerned about pedophilia and rape FICTION, I’d hope you’d criticize FICTION authors. Honestly, this seems to be a diversion tactic to avoid accountability.

Part 4: “No Offense, but You’re Wrong About Everything”

“Overall, I think [Moni] had good intentions, but it was poorly worded.

You pose a counter argument to each of my points and make it sound like I did not educate myself beforehand. You then deflect to talking about rape and pedophilia in real-world context to downplay the severity of pedophilia and rape in fiction.

I sound petty here, and I do not mean for my words to hurt. I wish that there was some communication beforehand since it seems that there was confusion. If my original post was unclear, I hope my comments help.

Conclusion

This is for everyone:

Please check out the resources I provided and do your own research to understand the situation before forming your own opinion.

No hate to the writer of the response. I just wish you would have reached out directly for clarification before taking my words out of context and assuming their meaning.