#trans family support services

[lotsadeer]

How do I even put into words what happened last night.

tl;dr Trans Family Support Services Director of Operations reacted aggressively to criticism about the Executive Director being a cis woman, and threw a glass of water at Máni, the founder of Trans Pride in Huntsville Alabama.

The longer story is here under the cut.

Kathie Moehlig (Executive Director of TFSS) invited all of the organizers to a thank you dinner at a local brewery. Somehow the two people she removed from the project (myself and the ex committee chair) also ended up invited. We decided to go as moral support for Máni, who was planning on confronting Kathie about how planning this year had gone.

The dinner is tense and awkward for the most part. After an hour or so Kathie makes a small speech thanking everyone for their hard work and that TFSS is excited to start working on next year's pride event.

When she finished, Máni took that as an opportunity to segue into what he needed to say. He had it written down, because his anxiety would have made it difficult to say what he needed to say off the cuff.

He planned to bring up their lack of transparency, communication, and ability to listen to the local community, and tell them that he had no plans to work with TFSS ever again.

It very quickly devolved into Kathie cutting him off and speaking over him once he started bringing up his employment with TFSS (he was fired from the organization back in April). She said that she could not legally respond to anything he had to say about it and Máni, myself, and multiple other people at the table told her she didn't need to respond, she just needed to listen.

She refused, and continued speaking over Máni. He finally called her out on being a cishet white woman speaking over a trans person on trans affairs, and Aspen Everheart (Director of Operations for TFSS) got up, leaned over the table in a quick and aggressive manner as though he were going to punch Máni, and then threw a glass of water all over him and stormed out.

The situation devolved further and all members of TFSS left the dinner after saying we were inappropriate and this was not the place to have this discussion.

Some context for why Máni chose to speak then and not in private. Kathie repeatedly, in private conversations with Máni regarding these things, has spoken over him and twisted the conversation away from any critique of her organization. Máni felt he had no choice but to speak in a more public setting for her to listen.

We were all shocked that they would react that way to this criticism, accusing us of attacking Kathie and being aggressive. And even going so far as to accuse Máni, myself, and a few others as trying to be the sole voices of the trans community here in Huntsville.

I can say, for myself, that I will not be working with TFSS in the future. I will be working with my local community to make Trans Pride next year an event of community pride, love, and effort.

Obviously draw your own opinions on what has happened.

[johnny-depp-is-loved]

Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

[queer-ecopunk]

So, I'm trans. And several years ago, I was at my great grandfather's funeral. 17, newly on T, barely out to anyone other than my close friends and family. And I'm standing there at the refreshment's table, surrounded by strangers and members of my family's church, when George walks up to me.

This man is ancient, bent like a finger and frail. Tufts of white hair surround his wrinkled face. Like always, he's wearing thick glasses, massive hearing aids, and his veteran's hat. George was my first introduction to the concept of war, when he told me as a child why he was missing two fingers on his hand. He's been a fixture at church since I can remember. I've only ever seen him at there or in uniform at parades, the rest of his time spent in a nursing home somewhere. He picks up a deviled egg and says, in his quiet voice,

"You know, before your grandfather died, he told me that now he had 3 grandsons."

I'm frozen in place. I don't know what to say to that, if I should say anything at all. This is not a conversation I expected to have, especially not with this man. But he continues.

"I didn't know what he meant! So he explained it to me."

And I can imagine it. My great grandfather, uninformed and opinionated but supportive, explaining to his friend the news he barely understood himself over after-service coffee and cookies. His eldest grandchild was now a boy.

"And, you know, I didn't know what to think."

Here, George looks me up and down. This 90-something year old war veteran, who knew me mostly as the little girl playing in the church kitchen with his wife, processing what my great grandfather had really meant. It feels like a long pause, even thought it probably passed in a second.

"But you look good. So, eh!"

And then he smiled, shrugged, and walked away without another word. If I was fine, if I was happier, then that's all that mattered.

George passed away this week, at the age of 99. This memory has been bouncing around in my head for a while, but I wasn't sure if or how I should share it. It was a conversation that meant very little, but also meant the world. It was scary, and funny, and the moment when I realized that sometimes the people you least expect will accept you. Sometimes, even if they don't fully understand, even if they barely know you, someone will choose to support you. And that will always matter.

[bijoumikhawal]

Funds for Haiti and Haitian Americans

A Haitian American woman with long Covid and her daughter with cancer have both been struggling to raise funds that would help them during their illnesses. Both of them live in the Midwest, which is where a lot of the most recent fear mongering has been centered.

COJEHA is a Haitian organization that provides financial support for youth, teaches agricultural skills, helps ensure children attend school, and teaches other soft life skills. They're working on building a farm with fish and vegetable crops where teaching occurs, which will also increase local access to fresh food.

P4H Global is the organization that has been working on building the canal connected to the Massacre River, another agricultural project. They have also been working to support education in Haiti, with both teachers and students.

The Haitian Community Center in Springfield, Ohio. Springfield's food bank, community health center, and a local Catholic organization that provides aid are also accepting donations.

Richard Pierrin is a journalist who has had to flee Haiti and is trying to get a visa that will allow him to work, and that doesn't end after 3 months.

Marc Henry and his family have been dealing with food insecurity for months, and are trying to get funds so they can eat, as well as supplies like livestock and fishing equipment so they can sustain themselves even after the fundraiser is done. They're close to their goal.

An elderly couple's home was damaged multiple times over the last few years and they are trying to raise funds to finish construction. They are also very close to their goal.

A fundraiser for children in Jacmel to provide food, water, and clothes.

A fund for several families to secure plane tickets out of the country

OTRAH is an organization that helps trans Haitians and wants to expand their services to combat HIV. They don't have a gofundme, instead donations are discussed over email.

There is also this thread of Haitian gofundmes which updates fairly regularly

This document explaining the leadup to where we are now also names some organizations that could use financial support

[venice-1987]

The idea of "socialization" as a trans person is so interesting, because a lot of trans women talk about how they generally don't experience male socialization (I say generally because all trans experiences are different, but the general idea of true). They experience closeted trans women socialization, which I can't even begin to speak on what entails.

So in contrast, you would expect something similar to be true for trans men, and in a way, yes and no. There is some truth to seeing how men are expected to act (stoic, unemotional, etc) and internalizing that. But there is also the experience of growing up as a little girl where so much focus is put on the idea that you should grow up in service of others. That is internalized so readily in just watching your mother and sisters cooking and cleaning up thanksgiving dinner while your dad and brother sit in the family room watching football. Its in how your body is told to be covered until it can benefit the men around you (i.e. school dress codes). Its in how you, as the smart girl in class, need to pick up the slack in group projects with class clown boys, but you are still less intelligent and deserve to be talked down to. Its in how you are told to be quiet and diminish yourself and act for others and never yourself. And because you are expected to grow up as a girl, this is how you are expected to act.

But then you aren't a girl, you are now a man that lives in service to others, has internalized this idea of diminishing himself, is stoic about his emotions, and lives in a world where the crimes of cis male patriarchy are thrust on his shoulders as his responsibility. Any of his anger is seen as either violently male, or hysterically female, and so you get none of the support you need and are only ever really critiqued.

Idk, just thinking about trans men again.

[mxactivist]

[URGENT] UK NHS consultation on puberty blockers

VERY SHORT DEADLINE! (Wednesday 1st November 2023)

The UK's National Health Service (NHS) are about to ban puberty blockers for all trans adolescents, except for a small group who are eligible and willing to be research subjects.

"As part of this NHS England-led process, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) was commissioned to review the published evidence. Overall, there was no statistically significant difference in gender incongruence, mental health, body image and psychosocial functioning in children and adolescents treated with PSH." -- 6-page introductory PDF to consultation

That's because puberty blockers don't change gender characteristics by definition, you absolute donuts.

They're carrying out a consultation on this because they have to, and there's only two days left. If you are in the UK and you are a young trans person or know any young trans people, please check out this consultation.

Need help answering the questions? Here's a couple of handy links:

Here's a really helpful article about the consultation and some persuasive arguments you could include in your answers, from What The Trans!

Abigail Thorn outlines some excellent points on Trans Writes.

Mermaids, a UK charity supporting trans kids and their families, has a guide for responding to the consultation, too.

Here's the first question, to help you work out if you're in the target group:

In "other", you could put anything like "friend of a trans adolescent", "family member of a trans child", etc. If you're a trans adult who was on blockers or who would have been on blockers if waiting lists had been shorter or family/doctors had been more supportive etc, choose "patient".

Click here to participate.

Deadline: Wednesday 1st November 2023.

[queerpunktomatoes]

Here is the pdf version of Project 2025. It's long and dry, so here are some talking points for you.

Note the page numbers so you can back yourself up. Most people are not going to read the whole document (because it's awful to read tbh) so you need to be able to defend your critiques.

We don't need false arguments to weaken our entirely correct conviction that Trump is a fascist.

Page 5 "Pornography, manifested today in the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children... should be outlawed. The people who produce and distribute it should be imprisoned. Educators and public librarians who purvey it should be classed as registered sex offenders. And telecommunications and technology firms that facilitate its spread should be shuttered." Translation: Transgender people should be seen as pornographic, and those who make/distribute porn should be imprisoned. Being transgender should be illegal.

Page 94 "Sustain support for Israel." Translation: Continue funding the Palestinian genocide with taxpayer money.

Page 97 "Senior acquisition leaders should design a system that allows decision-makers to stay within the law but bypass unnecessary departmental regulations that are not in the best interest of the government and hamper the acquisition of capabilities that warfighters require." Translation: Reduce workplace safety regulations in the interest of making more money.

Page 103 "Require completion of the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery the military entrance examination—by all students in schools that receive federal funding." Translation: Children in public schools have to take the military entrance exam. Children in private schools do not.

Page 104 "Reverse policies that allow transgender individuals to serve in the military. Gender dysphoria is incompatible with the demands of military service." Translation: Keep trans people out of the military.

Page 155 "Of the utmost urgency is immediately ending CISA’s counter-mis/disinformation efforts... The entirety of the CISA Cybersecurity Advisory Committee should be dismissed on Day One." Translation: End FBI's effort to combat disinformation.

Page 246 "Conservatives will thus reward a President who eliminates this tyrannical situation. PBS and NPR do not even bother to run programming that would attract conservatives." Translation: Don't publically fund anything that isn't explicitly right-wing, including children's entertainment.

Page 259 "The next conservative Administration should rescind President Biden’s 2022 Gender Policy. It should remove all references, examples, definitions, photos, and language on USAID websites, in agency publications and policies, and in all agency contracts and grants that include the following terms: 'gender,' 'gender equality,' 'gender equity,' 'gender diverse individuals,' 'gender aware,' 'gender sensitive,' etc. It should also remove references to 'abortion,' 'reproductive health, and 'sexual and reproductive rights'... produces unnecessary consternation and confusion among and even outright bias against men.” Translation: All language related to gender, equality, and sexual rights should be removed from all official USA websites and documents.

Page 260 "PLGHA requires foreign NGOs, as a condition of receiving assistance, to agree not to perform or actively promote abortions as a method of family planning in foreign countries... The new pro-life executive order should apply to foreign NGOs." Translation: American doctors are not allowed to perform abortions domestically or internationally.

Page 285 "The department [of education] is a convenient one-stop shop for the woke education cartel, which—as the COVID era showed—is not particularly concerned with children’s education. Schools should be responsive to parents, rather than to leftist advocates intent on indoctrination—and the more the federal government is involved in education, the less responsive to parents the public schools will be. This department is an example of federal intrusion into a traditionally state and local realm. For the sake of American children, Congress should shutter it and return control of education to the states." Translation: The Department of Education should be eliminated.

Page 302 "Return to the Original Purpose of School Meals. Federal school meals increasingly resemble entitlement programs... To serve students in need and prevent the misuse of taxpayer money, the next Administration should focus on students in need and reject efforts to transform federal school meals into an entitlement program." Translation: Roll back free school lunches to apply to ~185% fewer people than it does currently.

Page 320-322 "In July of that year, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed into law the Civil Rights Act of 1964, after Congress reached a consensus that the mistreatment of [B]lack Americans was no longer tolerable and merited a federal response... In 1973, [Congress] passed the Rehabilitation Act, and, in 1975, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act... The next Administration will need a plan to redistribute the various congressionally approved federal education programs across the government, eliminate those that are ineffective or duplicative, and then eliminate the unproductive red tape and rules by entrusting states and districts with flexible, formula-driven block grants." Translation: Repeal the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Page 372 "The U.S. nuclear arsenal needs to be updated and reinvigorated... Fund the design, development, and deployment of new nuclear warheads, including the production of plutonium pits in quantity. Expand the U.S. Navy and develop new nuclear naval reactors to ensure that the Navy has the nuclear propulsion it needs to secure America’s strategic interests. End ineffective and counterproductive nonproliferation activities like those involving Iran and the United Nations." Translation: Withdraw from "let's not use nuclear weapons" agreements, build more nuclear weapons, and resume nuclear weapons testing.

Page 451 "Families comprised of a married mother, father, and their children are the foundation of a well-ordered nation and healthy society. Unfortunately, family policies and programs under President Biden’s HHS are fraught with agenda items focusing on 'LGBTQ+ equity,' subsidizing single-motherhood, disincentivizing work, and penalizing marriage. These policies should be repealed and replaced by policies that support the formation of stable, married, nuclear families. Working fathers are essential to the well-being and development of their children, but the United States is experiencing a crisis of fatherlessness that is ruining our children’s futures... homes with non-related 'boyfriends' present are among the most dangerous place for a child to be. HHS should prioritize married father engagement in its messaging, health, and welfare policies. In the context of current and emerging reproductive technologies, HHS policies should never place the desires of adults over the right of children to be raised by the biological fathers and mothers who conceive them." Translation: The cishet nuclear family is the only valid, legally recognizable family.

Page 474 "Reissue a stronger transgender national coverage determination. CMS should repromulgate its 2016 decision that CMS could not issue a National Coverage Determination (NCD) regarding 'gender reassignment surgery' for Medicare beneficiaries. In doing so, CMS should acknowledge the growing body of evidence that such interventions are dangerous and acknowledge that there is insufficient scientific evidence to support such coverage in state plans." Translation: Remove all gender-affirming care coverage from government insurance plans.

Page 482 "Eliminate the Head Start program." Translation: Remove free education/health programs for low-income families.

Page 508 "Repeal climate change initiatives and spending in the department’s budget request." Translation: End all programs that address climate change.

Page 524 "Rescind the Biden rules and reinstate the Trump rules regarding... The Endangered Species Act rules defining Critical Habitat and Critical Habitat Exclusions." Translation: Remove protections for endangered animals.

Page 524 "Reinstate President Trump’s plan for opening most of the National Petroleum Reserve of Alaska to leasing and development." Translation: Expand Arctic drilling.

Page 587 "The Working Families Flexibility Act would allow employees in the private sector the ability to choose between receiving time-and-a-half pay or accumulating time-and-a-half paid time off." Translation: Employers are not required to pay extra for overtime.

Page 592 "Employers and employees should be able to set a two- or four-week period over which to calculate overtime. This would give workers greater flexibility to work more hours in one week and fewer hours in the next and would not require the employer to pay them more for that same total number of hours of work during the entire period." Translation: The 40-hour work week should become a 160-hour work month, so employers can make you work extra hours with no overtime pay by cutting your hours later in the month.

Page 664 "The National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) should be dismantled and many of its functions eliminated, sent to other agencies, privatized, or placed under the control of states and territories." Translation: Americans should not get free extreme weather warnings. We should have to pay for it, and watch commercials between segments.

Page 708 "The next conservative Administration should take affirmative steps to expose and eradicate the practice of critical race theory and diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) ... Treat the participation in any critical race theory or DEI initiative, without objecting on constitutional or moral grounds, as per se grounds for termination of employment." Translation: Fire any/all government employees who participated in DEI training.

And remember:

[asami-crescent-ttv]

I feel bad cause I haven't been active here but I'm kinda desperate and dunno what to do.

Tldr : about to be homeless share's, and and help is appreciated.

First up I am a disabled, chronic pain suffering, gay trans girl in a Australia who lost her job in June and been fighting on her own ever since.

This is the one and only time I'll post this cause I have a problem where I gotta do everything myself.

I am About to be homeless, government help has refused to start (rent assistance etc) till next month and I'm facing being evicted and homeless. If you want to help me an my pets I have a Kofi.

For a little bit longer explication here are my current options.

1: be homeless in about a week :(

2: somehow scrape together the money I need to pay this month and face next month in a similar light untill I can get back on my feet and hopefully use the employment services that start in December and hope I can get a job when I been trying to find work for three years (not kidding). I was made redundant in June from the hospital I worked at as a scientist.

3: find a way to throw away 90% of my belongings and jump in a car with my pets, drive 25 hrs and become a live in career of my grandparents for a family that is transphobic, homophobic, anti science, anti medicine, conspiracy theorists, religious Christian extremists who disowned me for years when I came out and accused me of being possesses and haven't changed to this day even tho we are now on talking terms again.

I dunno what to as rent in Australia is obscene in a crisis and I simply don't have friends I can rely on close to me.

I have very little I can offer but if it's editing videos, audio, or stories; and even writing oc lore, fanfictions... Really if I can do it I will. Contact me and I'll do what I can.

Other than me here are some faces you can help

[gynoidpoet]

English/Spanish Translation And Edition Services - Support An Autistic Trans Woman

Hello, my name's Marina! I'm a trans woman who recently finished a Spanish To English Translation Certificate at the University of Toronto. However, I'm still establishing myself as a professional translator, and I've been unemployed since June. I live with family, but I'm expected to cover many personal and medical expenses, most importantly HRT.

I'm in the process of applying for getting recognized as disabled which should hopefully make job search easier, but in the meantime, it'd help me a lot if you all either shared this poster promoting my services, commissioned such services yourself, or donated to me directly. Feel free to DM me any questions, and thank you for your time!

[lotsadeer]

So, re my experience with Trans Family Support Services.

Some context: TFSS is a trans support organization started by a cis woman with a trans son. I do not want to downplay the good it does on the west coast with this post. They're a valuable resource in the places they know well.

And that's the problem.

The Huntsville, AL trans community partnered with TFSS this year to plan Trans Pride events. They hired one local person to be the liaison and coordinator for "Alabama", and assigned him tasks and jobs that he should have had a team to help him with. TFSS stalled on pride planning multiple times with him, always told him to ask for help when he needed it but never gave it when he asked, and ultimately fired him when he asked for disability accommodations.

Right before he was fired, he had put together the planning committee for Trans Pride. I was the Entertainment head. TFSS went silent for a month, not telling the planning committee anything whatsoever.

From there, it was just red flag after red flag after red flag with TFSS. They promised security, a fence around the event, bag checks, etc and reneged on all of those promises multiple times, waffling instead of committing to anything specific. They refused to listen to the local community on safety.

They repeatedly acted as if we had the same resources they do in California, which, if you know Alabama and the South, we don't. They kept acting as if the police would be enough security when repeatedly police have shown to be untrustworthy.

The head of TFSS, Kathie Moehlig, refused to let the planning committee do its jobs and actually plan and make decisions. Every single decision had to be made through her. She repeatedly tried to backhandedly embarrass and blame the ex-employee in front of the committee for things that were her fault and her responsibility. She never told me what budget I was working with for hiring entertainment, and refused to accept any plan and schedule that didn't include multiple drag entertainers. Which, on that last point, is fine and makes sense, but I don't know the drag performers in my city very well, and despite asking multiple times, no one gave me anyone's info or directed them to sign up.

Not to mention Huntsville has a massive line up of events in June, 9 of which include drag entertainment. So most drag performers were booked solid.

Which was stressful for me, and happened literally last week as of this post.

The past week has been the planning committee head, the person TFSS fired, and myself arguing with Kathie about safety measures. She refused to give us a committed answer, hemming and hawwing about it. The planning head finally had enough, emailed all the vendors that there was no confirmed security, and quit.

I had, as of Friday last week, threatened to quit if Kathie couldn't promise there would be some form of barrier around the event. I had not quit yet.

Yesterday, after the planning head quit, Kathie chose for me, and texted me saying she understood my fears and want to no longer work on the event, and removed me as entertainment head and as a volunteer. I had not quit yet. Which to me, read as Kathie confirming there would be no barrier.

I emailed the entertainment about the lack of security and that if they had questions or concerns to talk to Kathie.

The ex planning head and I are both local queer/trans organizers. And this cis woman from California fired us because we wouldn't refused to budge on matters of safety for our community.

The person TFSS fired is still volunteering, and has told the ex planning head and myself what's happening. Kathie is doing damage control. She sent an email to all the vendors stating that she had hired "a security company" (no name, just a security company) and was working on getting the city permit amended to include barriers. Which was news to literally everyone involved.

Now she has added bag checks and specified entrances and exits.

Pride is this Saturday.

The local community as I know it is furious with TFSS for this shit show. Time is a flat circle and even amongst the queer community, people from the west coast think they can come into the South and fix everything because we don't know anything. And it's infuriating. That was the vibe the entire time, every meeting we had.

Do not work with Trans Family Support Services if you live in the South and Appalachia. It's not worth the headache and stress, and they'll just break every promise they make.

[shapeshiftersvt]

Well!

This sucks.

In 2016, Shapeshifters was two and a half years old when the country we operate in seemed to elect one particular asshole. Today, this company is ten and a half years old, and the same damn asshole is back again.

Under that first term Shapeshifters went from a two-person, back-of-the-dining-room operation to a production floor in a converted warehouse to the beautiful studio we're in now. We sent chest binders in anonymized packaging all over the country and the world for those four years. We hired trans people in our town and purchased services from queer folks in our network. We left behind the landlord who objected to our Black Lives Matter banner and hired models for photoshoots who knew what we were about and were excited to join the work.

Then we took a damn breath. We found stability in our little studio, over the last four years. We experimented with prints and patterns and fashion lines. We worked on new projects with new people.

It sucks that we're back here again.

And: our job now, as always, is to connect you with what you need and connect each other with what we all do.

There's a lot of good advice out there about keeping yourself as safe and healthy and stable as possible, from a lot of activists and poets and people much better at it than me. I speak from my position as a business owner from a family of economists, who's been trained to watch the money. Buy queer when you can, buy local when you can. Keep the money close, trade the same $20 back and forth with your friends for services, re-use and repair what you have.

Buy a binder, or a sew-your-own-binder kit, ora sports bra, or a binding dress, or some cryptid art from us here:

Find a queer-owned business for what you need at Everywhere is Queer:

And also from Hey Famm:

If you are located in or near Western Massachusetts, find some queer folks to support via Bloom Local:

and if you have a few bucks a month to spare, maybe support a trans person on Patreon. I suggest friend of the shop @neolithicsheep :

and Mercury Stardust, the Trans Handy Ma'am, who is a great resource when you need to fix something yourself:

Spend your money for good whenever you have the chance. It matters.

And you matter, too.

Keep talking to us, keep talking to each other, keep in touch with your people. Keep building these systems and these structures and these networks. We're going to need all of them.

And, hey: if you're trans and starting a business, reach out. I'd love to help folks in the early stages, connect you to resources, pull you over some of the hurdles we faced. There's a lot more room for queer business owners now than there was eight years ago. Let's take up that space.

Keep building, fam. It matters and it's worth doing. Every time.

[johnny-depp-is-loved]

1,179 suicides today. 2,114 yesterday after the election (source). please check in on your friends and loved ones, even online friends. check in on them even if they seem happy and okay. if you’re considering attempting, don’t. I know this world is fucked up, especially right now, but for what it’s worth, the fact you are still alive means you’re a fighter and a survivor. you’ve made it this far and if no one else tells you, I am proud of you for being alive. it takes fucking strength and courage, and look at you still being here. give yourself some credit because you are so much stronger than you think. yes, everything fucking sucks right now. but you will get through it even if it doesn’t look like it right now. it will eventually get better. I really truly believe that, no matter how hopeless or cruel things are right now. I truly believe you will survive and will get to genuinely be happy and truly safe. just please hang in there.

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

take care of yourself and each other. please stay safe ♡

[neotrances]

hi my names tyler, im a autistic black trans guy escaping an abusive household, im remaking this post bc it’s gotten long and donations have mostly stoped

TLDR: my homophobic mother who is verbally physically and financially abusive kicked me out of the house, i cannot go “home” ever as i’m in the process of cutting ties entirely, she has attempted to kill me multiple times and has threatened to kill my pets, something she has done in the past, as of may 15th she’s called all of my family members and have gotten them to turn on me bc of not wishing her a happy mother’s day, the last time we spoke in person threw my belongings (as well as my cats) into the street and threatened to harm me if i return / call the cops, she is incredibly violent, homophobic, transphobic, and mentally unstable and i want to go no contact

i’m staying at my partners parents house but this is not permanent stable housing, i have two cats staying in the room with me and my bf, im looking to find stable housing in the bucks county, Trentons border or north east philly areas, i can afford up to 1k in rent but would prefer anything lower / roommates to split rent for a place near those areas

all money I get will go directly into my savings and will be for paying rent and application fees, i have a steady money flow but i don’t want to risk getting evicted if i find a place, if you know anyone that can spare housing or who is looking for a roommate near these areas please reach out to me i’d really appreciate it, i don’t have many options, i just want to get my life together and be free of my mom so anything at all helps, the gofundme can be spread on its own, i’ll try to update it or this post as often as i can, i just spent about $200 on a new phone today as my mothers been cutting my service on and off despite me paying my own phone bill and i’m trying to make sure her and my family can’t contact me anymore, below are other ways to donate if needed, thankyou for taking the time to read / spread this

paypal + venmo

last updated october 14th, here’s a link to my most recent dono post, i have a depop in my pinned on my blog, thankyou for any support given

[biromanatees-like-cats]

Horrible highlights from this announcement:

Puberty blockers banned, as previously announced.

GPs no longer allowed to refer to these new services; only mental health services and hospital based practitioners. Yes, because even ignoring the horror of flat out declaring this a mental health issue, overburdening our already fucked child mental health services will NOT lessen the fucking waiting lists.

Clinics to be led by psychiatrists and or paediatricians. No gender specialists in sight??

Clinics to focus on mental health, autism, and helping broken families. And then maybe social transition, as an afterthought (article states 'will also be provided).

And to finish it off, if I've read it right, offering full transition services to those 18 or over is also going to be reviewed.

(It's also worth bearing in mind that it is I believe now illegal to get puberty blockers from private services outside the NHS too.)

Genuinely. Awful. Worst, most conversion therapy 'trans people are mentally ill' interpretation. Fuckkk.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Aug 26th

~*~

1. hi, this is for itmf! pls rec me trans wangxian fics :3c no modern au tho pls, thank you!!

In Reflection, Truth by Shadaras (T, 55k, WangXian, WWX is summoned into a woman’s body, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Gore, this is a story about being transgender, Dysphoria, Misogynistic Slurs, Ableist Language, it’s not slow burn if it’s going to be faster than canon, Trans Male Character, Trans wish fulfillment, Canon Divergence - Yunmeng Brothers Have A Real Conversation) has wwx reincarnated as a women and trans!lwj if i remember correctly

You might be able to find a few in our Trans Wangxian Compilation

The waters and the wild by SecretStorm (T, 62k, WIP, WangXian, Alternate Universe, Fairy Tale Elements, Pied Piper WWX, Trans LWJ, Many juniors, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Fic, Sexual Tension) It's a wip that hasn't been updated in a few years, but really good! Trans LWJ in a canon-adjacent setting.

try author 🔒withbroombefore; they write a bunch of canon-era trans lan zhan and it's all *really good*

🔒 Water Sweeter by deliciousblizzardshark (E, 8k, WangXian, Historical, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Some kind of fairy or spirit or something LWJ, Intersex LWJ, Intersex Character, Fluff and Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Thirst Trap WWX, Topping from the Bottom, WWX’s Canonical Cottage-core Fantasy, First Time, Domestic Fluff, Vaginal Sex)

hold her where you want her by damnslippyplanet (E, 6k, WangXian, Gender Changes, Trans Female LWJ, Female WWX, Burial Mounds Settlement Days)

scarcely trust my candid heart by Deastar (E, 6k, WangXian, A/B/O, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Beta/Beta, Demisexual LWJ, Trans WWX, Fluff and Smut, Female WangXian, Partial Cisswap, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, poor LQR is just trying to be a supportive ace elder and doing a great job actually, too bad it goes right over his niece's head)

you can always find me here by ScarlettStorm (E, 15k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Genderswap, Cisswap, yes it's BOTH, trans woman LWJ, cis woman WWX, they're lesbians harold, the excuciating beauty of night hunting with your bestie, who you're very much in love with, and hoping they love you back, (spoiler: they do), First Time, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex, gratuitous descriptions of summer weather)

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2. Hi! This is for ITMF. I want a semi-serious (?) And slice-of-life fic. I dont know how to explain it. Just an example like WWX in his yiling laozu ers tells people in yiling that that person who sells talisman from yiling laozu is a fraud. And then it snowballed to people ask his service to banish monster or something and WWX reputation gets better. But the story focus on WWX everyday life like he make new inventation or trying to describe his cultivation. An example maybe something like Just as the Snow Melts by draechaeli or if a modern fic it is something like I Don't Want to Debut! By countingcr0ws or Anything For Wei Ying by panda_desu. Thanks! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, WangXian, canon divergence, yiling wei sect au, demonic cultivation, farming, found family, pre-slash, politics, fix-it of sorts) is one that focuses on basically the life in burial mounds

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 93k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, /Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Disability, Scheming NHS, Disabled Character)

~*~

3. Hii!! for the next itmf can I please request some dark lwj?? sugar daddy vibes or just possessive lwj? i read a few mafia fics and I'm craving this trope a bit more now .thank you!!!

🔒 At heart by apathyinreverie (M, 36k, WangXian, WIP, Dark LWJ(Ish), Amnesia, WWX gets to be Not Okay after the BM, Hurt WWX, Recovery, Caring, Protective LWJ, Possessive LWJ, some definite manipulation, but not everything is as it seems, not nearly as dark as the tags make it sound, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Revea, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, kind of, Domestic WangXian, Fluff, WWX Goes to Gusu, Possessive WWX, WWX happily atticwifing away, Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ)

🔒 As good as by apathyinreverie (T, 6k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, not a good uncle LQR story, but also not not?, Golden Core Reveal, Kind Of, Golden Core Fix-It, Also kind of, Addiction, Manipulation, not between wangxian, just...War politics, Sunshot Campaign, Not As Dark As The Tags Make It Sound, Possessive LWJ, Protective LWJ, Tired WWX, Genius WWX, Dual Cultivation, LQR is too old for teenage drama, Developing Relationship)

golden when the day met the night by glitteringmoonlight (Not rated, 95k, slow burn, sugar daddy LWJ, light, angst, fluff, developing relationship, eventual smut, WIP)

~*~

4. Hi! For any future I'm In The Mood For, i'm looking for Wangxian fics that are cozy, like being wrapped up in a warm hug. @emrinalex

crystalized by gusuvibes (M, 25k, WangXian, Modern, Bakery, Pining, Getting Together, Baker LWJ, Nurse WWX, OYZZ in a STARRING ROLE, Bunnies With Bad Names, Elaborate Descriptions of Delicious Baked Goods, Frottage, Eventual Smut, Sexy, Baking, Time) is all cafe, cakes and kisses

🔒 and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen (T, 11k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Professors, Shapeshifter LWJ, Not Quite Necromancer WWX, Mutual Pining, WWX being an oblivious idiot, Fluff, Love Confessions, yunmeng trio, Family Feels, get JC therapy 2020, Kissing)

i’ll have you and you’ll have me by sundiscus (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern, Established Relationship, Marriage Proposal, fluff with a sprinkling of angst (for flavor), Podfic Available)

Love Cats by so_shhy series (T, 14k, WangXian, Modern, Meet-Cute, Fluff, WWX is wet and adorable in a tree, With a Cat, LWJ had no chance, Don't Try This At Home, First Dates, LWJ likes ducks, WWX does not like dogs, They just have a nice date, picnic dates, Falling In Love, LWJ is briefly less than graceful, there is a spider, but like barely there and totally harmless, LWJ Loves Rabbits, Office Party, LXC is a Good Big Brother, WWX is an excellent boyfriend, POV Outsider, they are in love the world is full of joy, Everything is Beautiful except for baby coots)

The Late Great Custody Debate by stiltonbasket (G, 9k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LXC/NMJ, JC & WWX & JYL, modern, Domestic Fluff, baby a-yuan, Single Parent WWX, LWJ is a confused rabbit owner, nielan are married, nhs is: xoxo gossip girl, Custody Arrangements, engagement, Confused WWX, WWX voice: if i’m the one with the kid why are you suing ME for child support?, LWJ kills his own love life in the worst way, Happy Ending)

Pigtail Pulling by protos_metazu_ison (G, 3k, WangXian, Fluff and Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans)

Just Say Yes Series by edenwolfie (T/M, 338k, WangXian, Matchmaking, Pining, Getting Together, Canon Divergence, POV Alternating, Fluff, First Kiss, Declarations Of Love, Humor, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Good Uncle LQR, Engagement, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It)

🔒 yearned for by spookykingdomstarlight (G, 3k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, Future Fic, Pining, Rabbits, Fluff, Kissing, Family)

If your heart is in your dream (No request is too extreme) by Spodumene (G, 1k, WangXIan, LWJ's Birthday, Fluff, Modern Setting)

Oh, your love is sunlight by feyburner (M, 9k, WangXian, Drabble Collection, Tags specified in each chapter, But it's all pretty soft and goofy)

~*~

5. I love your blog so much! It helps me find fics i sometimes unknowingly overlook, so...thank you so much! Itmf fics in Lan Wangji's POV, any AU works but if its canonverse, may I request it be novel or donghua canon please? Also have another request for wangxian recs...jealous Lan Wangji because Lan Xichen flirted with/dated/fucked Wei Wuxian in the past (could be a rumour but I'd prefer him to have heard/seen it happen and decide he wants Wei Wuxian for himself)...any AU!

🔒 The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide) Retelling of the novel from LWJ's pov

~*~

6. hii this is for itmf!! modern au or not but just anything where wwx gets pregnant with lwj's child and runs away for whatever reason without lwj knowing that they have a child together and then years after they will have a reunion and the big reveal. I just love tropes like this and idk what tags i have to place to get these results (so if anyone can kindly guide me on what tags are the best to look for these fics, i will be so grateful!!) Thank you!!!

The Winner Takes It All by YilingSani (M, 46k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, Old Friends, One Night Stands, No Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Forgiveness, Second Chances, Inspired by Mamma Mia! (Movies) Teen Pregnancy, Mpreg, mention of miscarriage, Birth Trauma, amniotic fluid embolism) Both feature Wei Ying leaving because he's led to believe that Lan Zhan wants nothing to do with him.

All The Years Lost by UseMyMuse (T, 26k, WangXian, Teen Pregnancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Single Parent AU, Forced misunderstandings, Forced miscommunication, Mpreg) Both feature Wei Ying leaving because he's led to believe that Lan Zhan wants nothing to do with him.

Family Pictures (Or: “Mark Rothko is very, very dead, Wei Ying.”) by belleweather (M, 37k, WangXian, Kid Fic, Post Mpreg, Modern AU, Cindarella Story, Mistaken Identity, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, art conservator lwj, idiot WWX, (he gets better slowly), shockingly little actual sex omg what happened to me, fake/mistaken cheating, no actual infidelity)

Nothing but your heart by airinshaw (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Implied Mpreg, First Time, Getting Together, Angst and Drama, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anal Sex, Whump, Breeding Kink)

~*~

7. Hello, for itmf id like ask for work in modern premises where lxc and others accidentally or semi intentionally killed wwx and conspired to never talk about it. Lwj is relentless in searching for wwx. Canon period is ok if there is no canon conflict as the reason @best-before-end

~*~

8. Hi! For the ITMF, I wanted to ask if there are any fics where WWX died at the end of the war? I don't know if it's hc or canon but I keep having the thought that he didn't expect to survive the war without a core. I was wondering how it would have been if WWX over did it or something and died. I'm looking specifically for him dying at the end when the sun shot campaign isn't hindered by it, I suppose. Thanks to everyone in advance! @hikato-chan

~*~

9. heyo! can you rec me a canon compliant/canon divergence wangxian fic that

A) has one of them explore his sexuality, identity, all that good stuff

B) has both of them explore the above together

basically i just want fics where wangxian explores and accepts their own queerness and sexualities and it's a verh lovely time, hehe

~*~

10. Itmf fics that highlight how sweet wen ning is, and his friendship with wwx. (Also any sweet-yet-badass wen ning stories, esp if wen ning gets the recognition he deserves, with a good title/respect etc.)

~*~

11. For the next imtf, can you recommend me some of your favorite non English FFs on Ao3

I’m sorry, Good bye by NHaraki (M, 35k, WWX/WRH, WIP, Jiang Family Bashing, Time Travel Fix-It, YZY Bashing) I translated it via Google Chrome and it was fine. It's an WWX/WRH fic where WWX returns to his childhood after the Siege. Stuff happens, YZY throws him into the burial mounts and WRH finds him. It's a lot of healing and hiding WWX. Found family. WC is raised better. It's adorable

~*~

12. I recently finished reading a wangxian fic told from Jingyi's POV and in that post-canon fic, everyone loves and lusts for wei wuxian to the point many believe its not even possible for his original body to have been better in terms of attractiveness. So itmf of wangxian fics with like...sorta similar premise in the way everyone loves/lusts for/is awed by wei wuxian to the point of hero-worshipping/using him as a standard for future spouse, etc. Lots of wei wuxian swooning and sighing about not finding someone better than him and so on please!

~*~

13. any truth spell/potion fics for itmf? as long as it’s not a sad ending i’m game for anything involving the truth being revealed in some manner like this!

🔒 in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Cloud Recesses, LWJ & NHS Friendship, Developing Relationship, POV LWJ, Minor Injuries, Autistic LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aka the Madam Yu warning, Genius WWX, Light Angst And Hurt/Comfort, WWX Protection Squad, Gusu Lan Sect, Slow Burn, Protective LWJ, LWJ-centric) is not quite the ask but its about lwj who can tell lie apart from truth because of a spell his mother gave him

the breaking of your soul (upon my lips) by sunsandships (M, 40k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Mutual Pining, Golden Core Reveal, Happy Ending) Not sure if these fit for 13, but Wei Wing develops a talisman to trace curses back to their caster

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts) Not sure if these fit for 13, but Wei Wing develops a talisman to trace curses back to their caster

when you’re doing all the leaving (then it’s never your love lost) by tardigradeschool (T, 26k, wangxian, canon divergence, hurt/comfort, canon-typical violence, sharing clothes, sharing a bed, fix-it, golden core transfer) Not sure if these fit for 13, but Wei Wing develops a talisman to trace curses back to their caster

All Things Belong by kuroi_atropos (M, 65k, WRH & WWX, wangxian, WN & WWX, Wen WWX, abuse, whipping, manipulations, smart WWX, possessive behavior, implied/Referenced rape/non-con, past rape/non-con, WIP) Wei Ying develops a way to show blood relations/family members

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 138k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) Wei Ying develops a way to show blood relations/family members

Debts of a Child Part 2 by Hauntcats (M, 111k, WangXian, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters., hurt no comfort for Jiang siblings.) Wei Ying develops a way to show blood relations/family members

🔒 this body yet survives by RoseThorne (T, 57k, WangXian, WIP, No War AU, Recovery, Trauma, Dissociation, Courtship, Courting Rituals, Near Death Experiences, Attempted Murder, Eventual Happy Ending, Panic Attacks, Vomiting, Siblings, Protective Siblings, Soup, Triggers, Protective LWJ, Protective LQR, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Bad Parent YZY, POV Third Person, POV LWJ, reference to poisoning, reference to assassination, Reference to chronic illness, reference to infanticide, Depression, Minor Injuries, Painting, Gift Giving, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Good Sibling JC, Good Sibling JYL, BAMF WWX,, Jealous SS, WWX Protection Squad) Wei Ying develops a way to show blood relations/family members

~*~

14. Looking for a fic where it’s like “we just did something super duper gay what happened”

~*~

15. I always see fics about people falling for lan wangji’s cold beauty but for the next itmf, do you have any fics for people are crushing on wei wuxian for his looks or charms? it can be existing characters or ocs, idm!

Endgame wangxian though, please!

~*~

16. Hello! ITMF Jin Guangshan surviving until Wei Wuxian comes back to life, so that Wei Wuxian can take revenge/get justice from Jin Guangshan himself. Thank you!

~*~

17. Based on one of Kay's commentaries on a fic rec, I was wondering if anyone had any fics that put Wei Wuxian through an "emotional blender" lmao.

Silenced by Tasharene (M, 63k, WangXian, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Temporary Blindness, Aversion to touch, Fear of crowds, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, WWX Whump, Hurt WWX, Whump, Angst with a Happy Ending, world-class troll LXC, see the archive Warnings BEFORE you accuse me of not tagging things!!!) warning- ALOT of angst like alot lot but its a happy ending

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[erotetica]

Fuck Trump, here’s all the civil rights orgs I know:

(Most have education pages and/or socials to follow and boost if u can’t donate right now)

LGBTQ+

Trevor Project—queer crisis hotline/counseling (NOTE THAT THEY CALL POLICE IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS)

List of Crisis Hotlines/etc compiled by Inclusive Therapists .com which DON’T CALL POLICE

Point of Pride—helps trans folks having trouble accessing gender affirming healthcare

Trans Lifeline—community support/resources/financial aid for trans folks

REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS

National Network of Abortion Funds—financial assistance/transport/childcare for people in ban states seeking abortions.

Brigid Alliance—same

Sister Song—reproductive justice for WOC

Indigenous Women Rising—helps Indigenous families access abortions/menstrual hygiene/midwifery/etc

Afiya Center—reproductive justice/HIV care for Black womxn in Texas

Abortion access orgs for Americans in the

Midwest

South

Appalachia (they also offer free emergency contraception/support services/etc)

RACIAL JUSTICE

NYU Law Center on Race Inequality—self-education resources on racism & antiblackness/how to contact elected officials/how to protest safely.

List of orgs protecting Black Americans, compiled by NYU (incl NAACP, Audre Lorde Project, BLM, Black Voters Matter, etc)

National Immigration Law Center—fighting for asylum seeking/DACA; helping immigrants access healthcare/worker’s rights/etc

American Civil Liberties Union—working on many intersectional initiatives

Southern Poverty Law Center—same

GLOBAL AID (While we Americans wait for shoes to start dropping, let’s not forget others in need, and that Trump’s atrocious foreign policies will affect everyone!)

World Central Kitchen—hunger relief

Action Against Hunger—same

War Child—supports and educates children in conflict zones, like Yemen and DRC

Medecins Sans Frontieres— medical aid

Islamic Relief USA—emergency aid

PALESTINIAN AID

Palestine Children’s Relief Fund— medical aid for kids

Anera— emergency relief & long-term development resources for Palestine, Lebanon, Jordan

United Nations Relief and Works Agency—aid for Palestinian refugees in Lebanon/Syria/West Bank/Gaza/Jordan

Palestine Red Crescent Society—medical aid

SUDANESE AID

List of humanitarian orgs working in Sudan, compiled by 500 Words Magazine

CONGOLESE AID

Panzi Foundation—supports assault survivors & their families

Eastern Congo Initiative—supports ands funds local/community-based Congolese efforts

Please reblog, & add any legitimate humanitarian organizations you know of! I love all of you!!