#tragique

[voidcat-senket]

Ohhhh perhaps spyscrapper for 38? On the kiss prompt list??

38. ...running out of time Bode’s breathing is heavy, loud, fast. Full, billowing breaths he can’t seem to slow down. He’s teetering at the edge of a breakdown. He’s been teetering at the edge of a breakdown for weeks, but it’s really here now, no longer a fantom haunting his shadow but reality, inhabiting his body, making his fingers numb and his heart race.

It’s not the edge. He’s falling off. The comm is in his hand, his finger hovers over the button, and he has to make the call. If he doesn’t make the call today, the Empire won’t be here tomorrow, the Archive and the Path will move to Tanalorr and it will be ruined.

Exposed. Unsafe. And he’ll have lost his last, his first, chance-hope-dream. The first breath of fresh air he’s had in. Four years? Is that it, four years? Four years with his leash getting shorter and his collar getting tighter, tighter, tighter, sold to the only bidder for a golden cage for his little girl that will become an iron trap if he so much as misses two check-ins in a row?

He’s lurking in the corner but he needs to go outside so he can fall into pieces privately. But. Cal and Merrin are still out there, aren’t they? He wants to beg Cal to make a different choice, get on his knees and cry, but if he does then… his desperation won’t make any sense, after Cal already reassured him. After Cal thought he did and ripped the rest of Bode’s meager hope to pieces instead. If he does, all his secrets will spill out. If he does, even this meager, desperate last chance where he loses everything but Kata will disappear. Cal doesn’t forgive betrayal- not if it comes from the Empire.

And Bode is part of the Empire, no matter how he feels about it. He sold himself.

Death followed him long before that.

The next exhale sounds too wretchedly close to a dry sob for his liking, and he clamps a hand over his mouth, doubled over, a steadying arm against the wall. His vision swims and darkens, his nostrils bellowing with each panicked breath. A hand presses to his shoulder. His back all but slams against the wall as he yanks himself away. Cal’s hands lift up, held out by Cal’s shoulders, as the redhead takes a step back. “Sorry! I was calling your name but I don’t think you heard me.”

Bode didn’t hear anything. Not a thing. What was he thinking? Doing? He wasn’t thinking that was the problem. Cal must see something in his face, because he steps forward again, frowning, concerned. He reaches out again but slowly, his hands gently framing Bode’s shaking shoulders before curling around his upper arms. “Bode, it’s okay. Breathe with me. Let’s just calm down, and then we can talk, get you some water maybe. Okay?” Bode clenches his teeth together, presses harder into the wall. “Bode, hey. Hey. We’re fine, okay?” A damnable smile blooms, Cal’s green eyes sparking warm, the man reaching out for him in the Force, wrapping him up in Cal’s fiery presence like a reassuring blanket, and Cal says: “tomorrow we’ll move and we’ll all be safe and everything will be alright.” Bode’s breath stops. He slides down the wall until he’s sitting, and his insides are all ashes. His hand shakes as it falls from his mouth and he can’t see Cal for the tears falling from his eyes.

Cal, kriffing Cal. Why did Bode have to fall for him? An idealist. A man who can’t see danger staring him in the face. Who can’t listen to the reasonable voices around him, and yet who is so good that they can’t help but let him lead over and over again.

Cal only scoots closer, cradling Bode’s face between his hands and pressing their foreheads together. “I’ve got you. Breathe with me. We Jedi,” Cal jokes, trying to ease the moment, “we’re really good at breathing, you know.” Kriffing Cal. Bode wants years with him. A lifetime.

“I’m s-sorry,” he whimpers, gripping the sleeves of Cal’s jacket. He gets tonight, and then nothing. Nothing after that. Never. There’s no more time.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.”

Cal will change his mind tomorrow. He’ll understand tomorrow. They’re over, tomorrow.

Bode turns his head. His lips press into the heat of Cal’s palm, mark it with his sorrow.

This is their first and last time.

There’s nothing inside him he’s allowed to give. Nothing worthy of Cal

[miasmaghoul]

oh my god this username

even the bots know i'm a pissboy 😔

[probablyafaggot]

george (resident cat, tortoiseshell, mean as hell to strangers) hates prior walter (tiny kitten, former dairy queen parking lot resident, prophet) sooooo much. he cries and cries being locked up in another part of the house but if we let him out she will eat him in one bite.

[yesloulou]

do u sometimes look at matt g and think yeah this is the guy possessing that max pulling daniel in by the race suit footage in 4k full hd the one that doens't exist anywhere on the internet

[emtmercy]

Things mostly going well on the show but there has already been one rly sad situation where a girl really connected with a girl in the couple but not the guy and they didn’t get to explore that separately bc they’re only interested in like adopting a sexy bi woman who has to fuck them both equally

[sparklyslug]

Surely there’s a German word for the specific feeling of grief when you know your work bestie is looking for a new job

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

the easiest cheapest slipcover method for an unusually sized couch seems to be “big canvas drop cloth and strategic safety pins”. but. what if. i dyed the drop cloth

[loadednachosao3]

Paying for your sins Manuel didn’t deserve this idc idc

it's ok I'll be the sacrifice

now u all know how Nacho feels, so maybe u too can become cartel bosses with sexy harems

[majimassqueaktoy]

God I need to finish this game so I can go watch the Baba cutscenes and be adequately as deranged as the universe wanted me to be before rgg ruined my plans

[theharddeck]

I just took a 4 hour nap and now its 9pm do I be productive about it or nah

[stressedjuice]

Once again asking why it is April 28th and I haven’t ONCE seen Justin timberlake’s ramen noodle ass yet???

[pxrxmoore]

when y’all spontaneously decide to go see barbie after work and it’s the one day u don’t wear pink to the office

[thomas-querqy]

Partagé par Djamila pour compléter notre conversation

Le Petit Q : Bassem Youssef, la personnalité qui dérange (Quotidien sur TMC le 19/10/23)

[loeilenchambre]

En sortant de l'exposition "Ce que la Palestine apporte au monde"

au moment où Tsahal pourrait entrer dans Gaza et où la France a affirmé son soutien sans réserve à l’État hébreu...

Taysir Batniji GH0809, 2011

Hazem Harb, Military zones (série), 2019

Parkour à Gaza 2011 Shady Alassar

Gaza - Parkour, les Palestiniens volants 2013 sur Arte (43')

[umlindsay]

I have to keep unclenching my teeth because I’m so worked up GAHHHHHH

[martymcdie88mph]