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rae-haven-writes · 8 months ago

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Addiction is the disease of the lost self…it is in itself an attachment disorder; adiction is the result of having unmet developmental needs. - Shannon Algeo, Disconnected

I’ve been thinking a lot about addiction these past five weeks. When I woke up to that hospital call in February, the past didn’t come roaring in like a flash flood in a summer-dry creek bed. My nervous system, my heart, n’ my memories never fully dried out because the addiction never took a pause, not for a moment. History dripped in like sepsis, until I woke up and the fever was past the point of breaking. A flash of her nodded out on a lawn chair in some stranger’s yard on my walk to school. A tiny memory, like a papercut, popping up as I stand in line at the grocery store - alone in a hotel lobby for hours, lost and forgotten, as she scored (and shot up) in one of the 300 rooms along the hallway. Men leaning down and talking to me, asking my age, I’m seven. When we finally drive home in the early morning, I grip the backseat upholstery, carsick, as she swerves towards and misses the median over and over again.

It’ll stick for a while, this disease of taking inventory, every morning, of what was lost.

May what was lost be returned, and what was surrendered stay gone. We have to learn the difference at some point.

Lost - Seventeen; visiting her in the hospital after she almost died from a blood infection, and turning my face to the window where the rain fell outside like we were in some fucked-up opioid-crisis soap-opera when she said “I miss you,” the day I vowed to never love anyone or let them love me again. How I knelt in the driveway nine years later, still tied up in my bakery apron covered in sorghum, saying “I miss you, I love you” into the phone to the social worker who was saying “I miss you” back to me on Mom’s behalf since she still couldn’t talk with the trach in.

Surrendered - How I wished for a decade she would die. I saw a family constellations therapist, once, who guessed this secret with only two sentences on my end about the whole homeless-addicted-psychotic-mama situation, and told me “I know you wish she would just die so this would be over, but even that is the same seeking of control as constantly giving your life up for her. If this is how she wants to die, step out of the way and let her die. And if she wants to live, let her find her own way. Give her that choice.”

Good people don’t give up on the ones they love. ― Barbara Kingsolver, Demon Copperhead

Lost - A woman thought she wanted me for a minute this year, a bodyworker from Israel, goodhearted. She taught me how to have an argument without cutting the relationship into pieces and throwing it in the other person’s face, how to speak to a lover like you love them. Only having known abuse is no excuse after a certain point. I was fed up with my communication style, too, and loved her for being patient with me. Loved her for being a person worth changing in a good way for. It didn’t work out for so many reasons. Still, she texted me yesterday about her dream where I spoke to her fluently in Hebrew, and this morning she told me, in Hebrew, that she loves me. I don't know which language to say it back in.

Surrendered - A few days before we broke up (the third time) we were driving down south together. She was going to drop me off at my mom’s old apartment. I had to get some of her things before it was repossessed and everything in it - furniture, books, TV, fridge, a whole little life - was taken to the dump by the property management company. It was either surrender the apartment, or get served with a lawsuit. At the hospital the day before, Mom wrote a list of the things she needed me to save for her - her dentures, hair dryer, favorite jeans, Tempurpedic pillows. She kept writing down different ideas of how to sell the furniture, but I knew it was too late to do anything about it, so I just nodded and said I would try my best. She gave me the keys to her car, which was now mine to take care of and hopefully sell.

Lost - I cried on the drive down, feeling deep guilt about not being able to sell the furniture, all of it given over to the assholes who owned the property. Wasted. And my lover said, sternly, “Look, when you make certain choices, there are consequences. You lose things, and you lose people.”

I was my mom’s only “people” left after everyone else had given up. It took a whole long while of being bitter to realize they didn’t give up on her so much as choose themselves. Just like Mom made choices and suffered losses, I had as well; choosing to take care of her, and mother her, instead of myself, had cost me my own ability to survive. It took away from the life I had created for myself, that I'd fought for with my teeth.

At the core of every addiction is an emptiness based in abject fear. The addict dreads and abhors the present moment; she bends feverishly only toward the next time, the moment when her brain, infused with her drug of choice, will briefly experience itself as liberated from the burden of the past and the fear of the future—the two elements that make the present intolerable. - Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction

I didn’t ask anybody for help, and I had refused help when it was offered; I didn’t want people I loved going in there. My lover dropped me off at the apartment and kept driving south. For a little while I just laid on the carpet of her apartment where she had spent the past two years in her psychosis and addiction and cried. The place looked like it had been ransacked, but I knew nobody had been in there but Mom - pill bottles and trash strewn across every surface, blood and a blackened spoon decorating the bathroom sink, every house plant dead and covered in tiny black flies. The floor was littered in pieces of tin foil with the patches of fentanyl in their centers, burnt into the shapes of listless spirits. There I was, in the realm of hungry ghosts, Gabor be damned.

I called one of my closest friends when I realized my lover wasn’t going to stick around and kept her on speakerphone as I opened every cabinet in the foul smelling kitchen, sorting through Mom’s medications, finding her dentures (silverware drawer) and birth certificate (under a pile of parking tickets by her Bible). One of the drawers in the kitchen was full of over a hundred little plastic baggies marked with dates in sharpie, filled with her poop; part of the psychosis was believing there was a gang of men out to get her who were putting tracking devices and nanoscopic robots inside of her body. If I ever tried convincing her that if she got clean they would stop torturing her, she flew into a rage. Eventually I stopped trying to convince her it wasn’t real and stopped being so sure of what was real in the first place.

I disassociated off and on, but my friend kept me centered, asking over the phone what I was grabbing next. I narrated my steps - taking trash bags of clothes down to Mom’s car, stripping the bed, looking through paperwork.

I drove her silver Toyota southbound through the Santa Ynez mountains, and stopped for fruit a man selling it freshly cut from a cart before the road wove up into Highway 154. I looked at the oak trees that always signify I'm home and smiled at them, wrote a little poem, ate my canteloupe and mango.

I lose and I lose and I lose and I still end up with more than I ever even dreamed to ask for.

The wonder is that you could start life with nothing, end with nothing, and lose so much in between…When your parent clocks out before you clock in, you can spend way too much of your life staring into that black hole.― Barbara Kingsolver, Demon Copperhead

In the rare sober spaces there was a mouthful of shame ready to aim at my sexuality, my hair, my partners, spitting on everything I knew I was, and everyone I held dear.

I finally got to talk to her last week, hear her voice when I’d thought her voice would be gone forever. She said “You cutting your hair short doesn’t mean you’re the boy in your lesbian thing, does it? Because I know that one is usually the girl, and, well…”

I asked her if it mattered and there was silence on the other line. I waited through five weeks of silence to hear her voice, and now I just wanted to hang up as soon as possible.

Not before she cried, asking “Will this whole thing affect our relationship?”

Knowing she meant the inventory of her body’s losses, I replied, “Of course not.”

“Even though I’ll be in a wheelchair wearing diapers, just a total loser who lost…lost everything?”

“We can still do everything we love together. Getting lunch, shopping, seeing movies. It’ll be different, but it’ll be okay. What really affected our relationship, Mom, was the addiction.”

She was surprised by that. She halfheartedly told me she wouldn’t use anymore and I could hear the falsity under her tongue like a Suboxone.

Before we ended the call, she laughed, saying “No matter what I do. I just keep waking up, for some reason, in this broken body, here in this broken life.”

Two nights ago, I dreamt I was painting a mural of an enormous blue sky covered in eagles, the slope of a woman’s body leaning down from above, cradling two of the birds as they crossed in the center of the wall.

I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder as they looked up at what I had painted. “She never really wanted to live, did she,” they whispered.

I woke up mid sentence and heard them finish it in the 5am darkness like they were still there beside me.

The day from there opened up like a canyon in a broken heart and I stepped into it with a hopeful soul and eyes all the way open the way nobody taught me how but me.

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writer59january13 · 10 months ago

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Who is/was Jamie Ashworth?

Written roundabout October 31st 2017, yet nary a handy dandy blue's clue Jimmy Neutron Spongebob SquarePants

exists about real or imagined gal in question, and presumed results regarding the gal in question acquiring titular role of poetic subject most likely more than a few women can lay claim to being said person re: goddess of me what dream in question,

but once curiosity took hold far between once idea took hold in me noggin notion became frozen solid within sixty shades of gray matter analogous to being lodged itself an Igloo for no less than an eternity linkedin with cryogenic freezing, which notion prevalent

among the super rich spending millions of dollars to procure heated smart toilet, and additionally, essentially, and ideally equipping bathroom with golden plated loo whereby guests needing to relieve themselves grunt out insync with effe fart to expel bowel movement the primal scream aah and ooh synonymous to giving birth.

Untold females most likely share same name sake as poem title;

I knew not what to expect

after googling the following namesake Matthew Scott Harris did a wake kin me from temporary stupor, gasping for air as if affixed with a trach

and on a whim thy fingers flew to keyboard

butta...please dune hot

coon sitter me a rake

or a hoe shoveling unprintable fu*king expleteives,

which would moost deafen net lee

and rightfully tell me “go jump in a lake” (an imponderable superior whim)

but tis not for anything to gain this extemporaneous poem aye make

but more so, this

ordinary garden variety bumpkin

(or pumpkin I transform into upon eve of Halloween

politically correct)

nay, tis no exterior, interior,

nor ulterior motive this drake

doth quacking, while wading

in the wide webbed whirled

and hoop fully ja refrain

thinking me tubby some flake

yes, a touch of flattery insulated

within thy body electric,

which caw cajun skin color

presents this being opaque

and the purest motive merely

to convey how flattered

this mortal knowing

an anonymous gal enjoys the material

which despite what Trump

or his henchmen/women might have said “aint what preceded deep fake”

boot real honest to dogness sentiment that virtually touches me

to the quick and a whim to make

a rhyming poem found impetus

set to express and converse

without any suspicion, paranoia,

or mild headache.

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sarcasticbabywhispererjess · 3 years ago

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An ET tube being held in with trach ties... that's a new one.

#criminal minds #medical inaccuracies #i've seen them use an appropriate securement device before #what happened?#also the girl had been on ventilatory support for a year #she'd be trached by now #a situation where trach ties are actually appropriate

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redrobin-detective · 3 years ago

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What do you think about nurse to patient ratios? I live in CA where nursing ratios are mandated by law and my sister, a nurse, says she can't imagine having to work somewhere without ratios.

Sorry you probably don't want this but I was stimming on this question all night bc I wanted to answer right away but restrained myself. You have been warned. Putting under a readmore because it got loooong also the general shittiness of my job rn.

NURSE TO PATIENT RATIOS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING AND CALIFORNIA IS THE ONLY ONE WITH A BRAIN. The important thing to keep in mind with N:P ratios is not only number of patients a nurse has at one time but also the acuity (sickness level) of a patient.

So, background. I am a stepdown medical ICU nurse in which we take medical patients who need higher monitoring than a standard floor bed but aren't sick enough for an ICU. In Covid America the new norm is the ICU is too full so they send us patients that really shouldn't be on our unit. Our hospital is mandated with N:P ratios. ICUs are 1-2 patients per nurse, floor beds can have up to 5 patients (which I think is insane even if they're super easy). My units ratio is 2-3 max. In the 2 years I worked on my unit pre covid, this worked out just fine. Sometimes you had bad days but overall I had time for lunch breaks, for chatting, for ensuring I'm doing proper patient care. The best way to describe how bad it's gotten is my day yesterday.

I walk on my 16 bed unit, 15 beds full, 1 open with a most likely ICU downgrade. We have 6 nurses for the daytime (fully staffed is 7). The night charge nurse (who serves as a unit resource/helper/organizer and also makes the assignment) is struggling on how to assign each nurse to a patient.

The one open bed ensures someone will get an admission but the unit wasn't Safe to admit a new sick patient. Out of 15 patients 8 (EIGHT) are trached, 3 of them are on the vent (4 is our max), 2 were known to be belligerent and exhausting to staff, 2 patients were decompensating and would probably need to go to the ICU at some point. 1 was a new admit overnight and thus a wild card, at least 4 were mildly confused and trying to fling out of bed/pulls at important medical devices without semi regular supervision. The night shift charge looked about ready to Die and was struggling to make a fair, balanced assignment.

As a charge nurse, I offered to help. We immediately petitioned our manager to close the open bed which was granted but only about an hour into day shift so night shift had no way of knowing if some poor sod would have to admit. I was the most experienced nurse on the floor that day (including day charge) save a travel nurse. Now about charge, the ideal is keep them out of the numbers (no patients) but with acuity rising and being short staffed they're usually required to take at least one (3 patients to charge is the nightmare scenario, I've done it and its rough). Day charge got one patient so, by the math one nurse would either have to admit or possibly get to stay in a blessed 2 patient assignment.

I, a bit selfishly I'm big enough to admit, asked for the potential admit assignment bc the other option was a patient I had an exceedingly bad interaction with last week and wasn't in the mood for. I didn't think our manager would close the bed bc, with numbers rising, higher management has been pushing back on our ability to close beds. But miraculously! The bed was closed, no new patients coming in.

My assignment was a fairly stable ICU downgrade overnight who was trached, vented, but alert, able to turn on her own and very nice. My other was a sad confused cancer patient was tied down every which way to prevent himself from getting out of bed or pulling at his tubes, he had IV medications every half hour quite literally and just overall a mess. I busted ass all day yesterday, literally running the whole day but you know what? I provided damn good care to both my patients. My assignment was busy but SAFE. I had time to focus on my poor cancer patient and!!! Meaningfully make some progress in his treatment course instead of just maintaining because I had the time and energy to do my fucking job. So what's the problem, Robin?

The problem was, to ensure I had a safe assignment almost no one else on the unit did. Every other nurse I ran into looked frazzled and stressed. The other assignment I was supposed to get was nightmarish, the travel nurse looked so wearied and broken by the end. (My only consolation is she makes like triple my salary). I felt SO guilty yesterday bc even though my assignment was hard and I didn't sit down and eat until 4:30pm, I still arguably had the easiest time. And that's not safe, not for our health, not for nurse retention, not for our patients.

The staffing coordinator laughed in my face a few weeks back when I mentioned we were temporarily staffing for 8 nurses back in December/Jan when covid numbers spiked again. "How can you possibly expect me to find you nurses for 8 when I can barely keep you staffed for 7?" I sniped back that they can't expect us to take care of certified ICU level patients without ICU level staffing. She didn't say much after that.

So yeah, my hospital adheres to N:P ratios. I've never had to take a 4th patient and hope to god I never will. But the fact remains that 7 nurses for 16 beds used to be doable and its simply not anymore. My manager confided in me the other day that her boss told her if we try to hire any more nurses we will lose our travel nurses (5) which is insane because we're barely scraping by as it is. Our new nurses came off orientation around Oct/Nov and some of them are already telling me they're burning out and considering leaving after their 1 year contract is up. I want to tell them there's greener pastures but this is sadly the state of current hospital nursing everywhere.

Of nurses dropping out of the profession d/t lack of safety and exhaustion, of patients getting sicker and sicker because of covid but also!!! Lack of the dedicated, focused nursing care they need to get better (The amt of families who've screamed at me over the last year bc I'm not in their room often enough, I'm sorry I have 2 other patients who are also seriously ill I'm trying), every unit being backed up and overflowed and ICUs get preference over everyone else (in terms of budget, staffing, respect) so we're forced to take unsafe patients that I know we can't properly care for. It's so frustrating.

Everyone keeps saying we need a reckoning in healthcare. I say we're gonna get one whether we want it or not because something has to give. You can't punish and push your workforce for going on 3 years straight without consequence. I never thought I'd say March 2020 was the Easy Time bc I had resources and staffing and something of my mental health sorted. Nurses can't ethically strike but we can break and something, nationally, is going to have to be altered when we all collectively give out.

#adventures in nursing #I did not mean to talk for so long #i clearly have strong feelings on the matter #got kinda off topic but like #I was so mad yesterday at how guilty I felt that I had the units only safe assignment #prety much everyone on our unit needs to be in a 2 patient combo #how do you decide who gets it #I kept asking how people were doing and most of them were like 'you're asking bc you can help? please help!'#and I had to explain No!! I cant help Im overwhelmed myself but I'm checking in bc I'm worried!#i shouldnt feel guilty for taking the time to provide fucking care #to make sure my 8 million IV meds don't interact #to explain to the family his condition and help them come to a decision regarding the course of his care #to notice that hey he's so backed up in stool I'm pretty sure it's coming out of his stomach tube!#or that his wound is probably infected and no one documented it!#the night nurse only did one documented assessment on them (its supposed to be 3)#they looked wrecked at the end of shift #they probably didnt have time #this is fucking insane

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radioactivepeasant · 4 years ago

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Fic Prompts: Star Wars Wednesday

Because Disney can pry the Finn Skywalker headcanon from my cold, dead, fingers. And because Disney can’t stop me from reworking their movies if I darn well please.

Most of the fortress had been picked over by scavengers years ago. Any Imperial memorabilia had long since been looted and either auctioned off or confiscated by the First Order. Really, that was the only reason the scout team had considered it as a potential base at all. It had already been gutted, and was pretty well beneath the notice of Kylo Ren unless he was up for sentimental tours.

The general didn’t find that very likely.

Mustafar was far from a hospitable world for most species, but the heat shielding of the fortress was still highly efficient. The scouts had set up a base camp in what looked like it had once been some kind of audience chamber. Nobody had felt like exploring alone. The whole castle just felt...off.

The young leader of the scouts sat on a pile of rubble, head tilted like he was listening for something. He frowned and glanced down at his team.

“What, Trache?” he asked.

The Twi’lek raised his brows at Finn. “I didn’t say anything.”

Finn seemed confused. “You sure? I could’ve sworn-”

Finn?

Finn looked up again. "Rose, you heard Trache call me just now, right?"

Rose Tico set down a power lamp and plugged it into their Artoo unit, then shook her head. “Sorry Finn,” she said, “All I heard was Artoo.”

Finn.

He whirled, squinting into the darkness of the derelict fortress. “There! You guys heard it that time, right?”

Rose fidgeted awkwardly. "Finn...I didn't hear anything."

Finn.

Finn turned again. He felt as though someone had tied a string around his soul and was pulling. As if under some other power than his own, the boy began to stumble into the shadows.

"W- what are you doing?" Trache hissed.

"Gotta check something out," Finn mumbled. He could just make out what looked like a figure, standing at the end of the corridor. "It's...it's okay. I think it's the Force."

His scout team's protests faded into static behind him. There was nothing but the voice.

Finn. Come to me.

Finn slowly reached down and loosened his blaster in its holster. There was a possibility that he was hearing this voice in his mind. And that had to mean enemies.

"Where are you?" he asked, tensed and ready to fight.

The shadowy figure he had glimpsed before reappeared, further away. It stood, as if waiting. Then it raised one arm, beckoning.

Finn didn't sense anything particularly hostile about the stranger, but he was wary nonetheless. He eased forward, following the dark shape into another chamber. The closer he got, the more he realized that it wasn't made of pure shadow after all. A faint flicker of blue light outlined the person, if a person it was, slowly illuminating more details. A black tabard. A heavy gauntlet. A cape that fell to the floor and seemed to swallow all light that touched it.

The rhythmic hiss that Finn had taken for some kind of machinery in the fortress took on a new volume.

It sounded like breathing.

Finn stopped dead in his tracks. He had seen that shape before. In the First Order barracks, as a little boy, he had seen that shape in the propaganda forced down the children's throats.

"Aren't you dead?" he blurted out before he could stop himself.

The giant inclined his head -- or, well, his helmet -- regally and turned. He gestured to one side.

"Walk with me."

The authoritative voice brooked no argument.

Finn knew he should have been running. That was Darth Kriffing Vader, or his ghost, or a clone, or something. But...he didn't sense the kind of painful storm he'd always experienced around Kylo Ren. There was no hatred, filling the air with danger. Just a strange echo of regret.

With one hand firmly on the butt of his blaster, he gritted his teeth and stepped closer.

"The Force is with you, young one," the late Sith Lord remarked, "but you are not a Jedi yet."

That rankled a little bit. Finn knew he couldn't do all the things Rey could yet. The General had told him that his connection to the Force was more like hers than Rey's, but he still didn't know what that meant. That didn't mean he wasn't learning. He was just going at his own pace.

"Maybe I'm not," he said, "But I will be."

Will I be?

Darth Vader began to walk. Hands clasped thoughtfully behind his back, steps slow and measured. Relentless. What did he want? And why was he even here?

Reluctantly, Finn followed a half step behind.

"I'm not hallucinating this, right? Because my team can't see you." Getting lured into the depths of the castle by the ghost of a Sith probably wasn't a good thing. "Why'd you call me?"

"I have been expecting you for some time," Vader said, tipping his helmet down as if observing Finn. "It was inevitable that you would find me here."

His footsteps echoed on the stone, but did not disturb so much as a single mote of dust. The hair on the back of Finn's neck rose when he looked down and saw only one set of footprints behind them.

"You know who I am." It was not a question.

Swallowing hard, Finn nodded. His mouth was dry, and despite himself, his fingers trembled. Like a death sentence the name fell from his lips.

"Darth Vader."

Abruptly, the man turned on his heel. His cape flared out around him as he raised a finger almost in warning.

"That name no longer has any meaning for me," he said sternly.

"Then..." Finn wrinkled his brow and tried to remember the legend. "You're um, you're a Skywalker-?"

His companion nodded. "I suspected that if I had chosen my true form, you would not have known me."

He raised his helmet as the chamber emptied out into another set of corridors. "Come. There is something I must show you."

Well. This was going to make an interesting story to tell the General later. Finn pulled the collar of his jacket up and shivered.

"Dar- I mean, uh...Master Skywalker? You didn't answer my question before. Aren't you dead?"

Anakin did not slow his steps. "The Force, young one, is a pathway to many abilities that some may consider to be...unnatural."

A wry chuckle wrenched itself from Finn's lips. He shook his head and took a jogging half step to keep up with the ghostly warrior. "You're telling me."

Anakin glanced down at him again. Finn wasn't sure how he knew the ghost's eyes were on him, but somehow he could guess where to look.

"You show remarkably little trepidation in the face of the impossible," he commented.

It was strange, but Finn was almost beginning to feel comfortable with the conversation. He shrugged. "Nobody ever told me how the Force was supposed to work. How am I supposed to know what's possible and what's not?"

He jumped when Anakin tipped back his helmet and laughed. It was a deep, rolling sound, utterly at odds with the mechanical whoosh of his respirator.

"Indeed! Do not lose your open mind, Finn. It will serve you well."

"Did anybody ever tell you," Finn huffed, "That you make even compliments sound ominous?"

Another low chuckle. "Yes. Your father did."

His father?!

What was the ghost talking about?

Finn scowled at him. "Whoa, hold on. How do you know my father? I don't even know my father!"

Under his breath he added, "I don't even know what I'm doing here."

Abruptly, he began to sense a complicated tangle of emotions from the ghost of Anakin Skywalker. Regret, anger, concern.

"You remember nothing, child?"

Sometimes Finn thought he did remember. But they were just images. Feelings. A woman's voice and strong arms. A man's smile. Sometimes he heard snatches of a song in his dreams, always just out of reach by the time he opened his eyes.

Other times, the dreams were not so kind. Flashes of an old man, reaching for him even as he was shot in the back. His own tiny hands reaching desperately for an old woman screaming a name he couldn't hear. He wondered sometimes if they had been his grandparents.

The Resistance was his family now. Rey and Chewie were his family. Poe and BB-8 were his family. The General was his family. But in his heart, Finn still wanted closure. To at least know where he had come from.

"I...remember my grandfather dying." Finn said haltingly.

"Not your grandfather," Anakin corrected him. "Your mother's cousin. Your grandfather died long before your birth."

He quickened his pace before Finn could insist on an answer. Through stone galleries and ominous archways he continued with a single-minded determination. He did not stop until he had reached what had once been an impressively secure door, long since reduced to ruin by looters. Inside sat a strange dome-like structure that reminded Finn of an egg.

"Did you see that in my head? Is that like a thing you can do?" Finn demanded. He was determined to get the truth. Maybe he could "sense" it somehow. "How did you see it if I can't?"

Anakin did not immediately answer. He waved his hand over the dome, and with a rumbling groan it separated neatly into two halves. It was an old-fashioned hyperbaric chamber. A few lights still flickered dimly inside. Anakin reached down to touch one small screen, and a hologram sprang up. A young man in Rebellion era fatigues smiled up at them from the hologram. Old though it was, the holo was still recognizable.

"What the- That's Luke Skywalker!" Finn realized.

Anakin nodded. "He was no older than you are now when my spies brought me this image." He seemed almost lost in nostalgia for a moment. "Truly, I would have torn the very fabric of the universe apart to find him."

Finn watched the ghost, noting that he cupped the hologram in his hands as though he held something infinitely precious.

"You...kept a holo of him in your chamber?" Seemed a little odd for a Sith.

He was pretty sure Ren didn't keep holos of his parents.

"Of course." Anakin did not look away from the tiny, grinning face of Luke. "He is my son."

Finn sat down carefully on the seat within the chamber. His feet didn't even touch the floor. "Hey...Master Skywalker?" he asked, "How did you know my grandfather died before I was born? If it was before I was born, I wouldn't have had any memory of that. Buried or no. Did you...meet him in the afterlife or something? Do all ghosts know each other?"

He sensed hesitation as Anakin answered, "No, I...I was...there."

That could mean a lot of things. "Did you kill him?" Finn guessed, "Like, was he a Rebel? Or a Jedi?"

He heard the creaking of leather as Anakin's hands tightened into fists.

"He was a rogue and peasant Sith. A knave who chased after power at the cost of his kin," Anakin snarled.

Finn jolted back. A Sith?

A horrible thought slid into the back of his mind. What if his family had given him willingly to the First Order? What if they expected him to follow in his grandfather's footsteps?

"So...what does that make me?" he rasped.

The tension drained quickly from Anakin's shoulders. He turned away from the hologram of his son and raised a spectral hand to rest against Finn's cheek. It did not pass through him, as he had expected it to. Instead, it lingered, like the brush of a curtain.

"You are," Anakin said, almost reverently, "A valiant son of a worthy father. And the beloved grandchild of a grandmother who deserved a better life than she was given."

The Force was almost screaming at him that the answers to his questions were at last before him, but Finn was afraid to believe it. Afraid to get his hopes up and be wrong. If, after all this, his growing suspicion was wrong, he wasn't sure he could bear it.

"Master Skywalker, please," he begged, "I don't know why I'm here, I don't know what you want from me. Just tell me the truth? Did you know my grandfather?"

The other glove rose, and Finn found his face being gently cradled by an ex-Sith Lord.

“No,” Anakin answered, quiet and inevitable. “I am your grandfather.”

#star wars wednesday #star wars au #fix-it au #sequel trilogy #sequel trilogy fix-it #finn skywalker #star wars finn #darth vader #anakin skywalker #and his mom is Nakari Kelen who is NOT DEAD because we do NOT fridge ladies in this house!#if The Mouse doesn't want me unfridging her that's his problem #and yes. Anakin is STILL the biggest drama llama in space #sneaky shakespeare reference #fic prompts #writing prompts

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themadauthorshatter · 3 years ago

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After the MONSTER that was Arc 2, time to wrap this up!

RED SCHOOL AU/UA STORY/HEADCANONS ARC 3!

This is hopefully going to wrap up Red School, so buckle in.

We begin in Rhian's 'office' as the two trios explain what happened: The Beast just burst through the trees and began attacking, out of the blue just like that.

He asks if there's anything else they noticed, and Cal mentions the red eyes and the fact he looked like he drowned. Rhian finds that odd because The Beast was never the best swimmer.

Tedros also mentions the incident before with Nicholas. Agatha vouches for him, saying she'd probably be dead, if Tedros didn't stop him, Sophie giving Agatha the stink eye as she inches closer to Cal, who fights a cringe.

Regardless, Rhian mutters how it can't be and tells them all to just be careful. Mare, however, notices his unease and knows he's BS-ing.

Either way, Rhian excuses them and watched them leave, though he does ask Agatha and Sophie to stay, to answer some questions. Tedros glances back at them as he leaves, giving Agatha 'please stay' eyes until Maven pats his back and says that, if he wants, he can watch Cal and Maven train, so he can help Maven kick Cal's ass next time they fight.

Back with the girls, Sophie despairs at her princes leaving, but Rhian clears his throat and asks if either have had anything to do with The Beast ending up in the state he's in. Agatha immediately objects, saying she couldn't have because her punishment in Good is a scolding and being locked in her room. He asks Sophie and she shakes her head; she just got her hair butchered and was on her merry way. Rhisn remarks that it's funny because a lot of the Nevers stating that The Beast disappeared around the same time Sophoe was sent to thevDoom Room, so either she's lying or someone else decided he needed to swim with the fishes. Someone more vain than she is.

Neither speaks on it, so Rhian excuses Sophie, though warns her to not do anything fishie with Cal; neither school has forgotten her misadventures with courting Tedros.

He tells Agatha to stay, however, because he wants to ask her about that question she asked Lucas, about leaving with the Silvers.

Semi-embarrassed, Agatha admits, that, yes, she did ask that question. Even if her only way out is a fairytale ending, maybe the Silvers are that ending, even if it's a loophole ending.

Rhian commends her for her cunning, but affirms that won't help. If she wants to go home, she'd better be ready to strap into and study like her life depends on it, because, in a fairytale, it will.

Agatha nods and asks him one question, just one this time, not a bunch of mini questions and one big question. If he knows how everyone's story ends, why not just tell them. Rhian shakes his head. He doesn't know when how storoes end, but if he told everyone theor endings, then the ending will change. They'll either strive for more than what their old ending is or become unmotivated and not strive at all.

With that, Agatha leaves, giving a glance to the Storian before doing so.

When she catches up with Sophie, Tedros, and the others, she finds ths boys having a three-way fight, Maven and Cal trying to roast each other while Tedros blocks with some magic and his sword.

Sophie watches them and drifts off into fantasy land while Mare and Agatha talk about what happened, since Sophie couldn't care less.

She explains that The Beast disappeared a little while back and no one's seen him until today. And people have been getting weird lately, which Mare gets confused by.

Even while he fights, Tedros explains that students have been getting red eyed and violent, attacking each other for, really, no reason.

Intrigued, Cal wonders if it's a apell gone wrong, even asking of their magic can get that powerful. Agatha shows him that they can do a lot of things, i.e. mogrify into animals, use spells to refurbish plants or for self defense. She's seen students do some crazy stuff, but admits that she doesn't think a fellow student could do it.

Maven muses that it all seems weird, but does admit that maybe the School Master has something to do it.

This grabs both Sophie's and Tedros's attention, Tedros noting that Agatha and Sophie were thought to be in the wrong schools, but really might not be a mistake(Sophie disagrees with this) and Sophie admits that if he put her and Agatha in the schools they're in-by 'accident'- maybe he got bored and cast a spell to throw in a new adventure, and brought the Silvers to join in on the fun.

Agatha's not certain, but knows one thing: they need to be careful.

They all agree and Tedros contemplates getting the jump on Cal, which leads to Cal grabbing him and throwing him to the ground, just enough to surprise him, nothing more.

As they get back into it, Agatha asks Mare a question, quietly so Sophie doesn't stop her: Is there a chance Mare can get Agatha and Sophie on their ship and take them away from the school? In return, she can help Mare get back home to her family.

Mare almost snaps at her, but Agatha explains that Mare isn't the only one that wants to go home.

She'll think on it, asking if Agatha can really help, and Agatha admits that she's not too sure, but she'll still try.

With an exchange of 'thank yous,' they watch Maven and Tedros duke it out with Cal both reffing and instructing them as Sophie watches, the two glad to be watching rather than participating because Cal is a brutal teacher.

From here, we get something of a time hump woth shenanigans like Evangeline and the other High House children observing the classes, Mare being hounded by Evergirls that offer her a change of makeup, because her foundation will clog her pores, Cal traching the Everbous more efficient combat techniques that won't get them in trouble, and even the main six hanging out, though Cal makes it clear to Sophie that he's flattered, but he's betrothed, so his hands are tied.

There is a close call when Agatha and Mare are having lunch together and run into Sophie, who's pissed at losing another prince, and not only realizes that Agatha's been cautious around Elara, but also that Mare and Cal are very close, for people betrothed to someone else. She pits two and two together and races off to a teacher, any one will do, but Agatha and Mare give chase, Mare being faster and catching up to Sophie and tackling her to the floor and practically shouting that Sophie had better not tell anyone, or else she'll be killed, along with herself, Agatha, both their families, and anyone remotely close to them, and being dead means no princes, so she'd better wise up.

Sophie agrees and they let bygones be bygones.

Mire time passes, and we get another red mist possessed fight with a wolf, in which Sophie jumps in to help, kind of, by mogrifying as a large bird to distract the wolf. They report it once again to Rhian, who's getting worried about the occurrence of this mist, but talks to Mare is a slightly altered version of this conversation you can read right here.

More time passes, and we get more Tagatha, some Marecal, some Evangeline being a bitch, some friendship, and, most importantly, Maven and Elara still talking about their plan, which is on hold because things are fishy and Elara's feeling a little less like herself. (Hmmmm?)

I know I'm rushing through all this, but trust me, you'll get why in a second.

Fast forward, and it's been about a month since the Silvers left Norta. Tibe, Cal, and Maven realize how long it's been and decide they need to head back.

Rhian understands, and offers them a proper send off to show the rest of Norta: a ball in the School for Good to show the unity of Norta and the School for Good and Evil. The rest of the High Houses, 1 child accompanied by 1 chaperone, have already been invited and preparations are already being made.

Tibe is incredibly flattered by this and thanks Rhian for such an act, though the School Master thanks Tibe in return for showing him what's beyond the Endless Woods.

From her place a few feet back, Mare notices Elara standing at the window and fighting a coughing fit as she stares back at Mare, red blood dripping from her nose.

I'm sure she's fine, BECAUSE WE CUT TO THE BALL!!!

It's just as extravagant as what happens in the or original comic, though at first the Silvers are weary until they warm up and relax.

We also get a sort of glare/stare off between Maven and Elara after she reads Mare's mind and Mare glaring at Tibe after his speech of peace and cooperation, and he simply gives her a look of 'what're you going to do about it?'

(Turns on a megaphone)WE DO NOT GET THAT SHIRTLESS WRESTLING MATCH BETWEEN CAL AND TEDROS! THIS IS A FORMAL EVENT, SO THEY SIMPLY TALK AND EXCHANGE NICETIES!(Puts the megaphone away.)

In a scene of set up and pay off, the sides begin to dance and have a good time, though Sophie tries dancing with Cal, but ends up her Hort, who actually emells nice for a change, but she's pretending not to notice because she wants to be with Cal.

Mare and Maven talk about this whole journey and admit it'll be a little sad to leave when the ball is over. Mare spots Agatha and Tedros in the fray, sees them smiling and happy, and agrees. It will be sad, but, as Maven points out, they're visitors. They always had to leave.

With Rgian and Tibe, Rhian asmits that this was possibly the most entertaining revel he's seen or had in a very long time. Tibe asks if it's two or three years, as a joke, and Rhian admits it's been half a century since the last GOOD revel, like one he'd go to and have all over again because of how fun it was.

It weirds Tibe out, but he notices something else that actually freaks him out: Elara's gone.

Back on the floor, Hort glares at Tedros as Lucas and Ptolemus have a muttered conversation about smelling smoke and Ptolemus thinking there's a bomb somewhere. Lucas disagrees; some of the students might be crazy, but none of them would openly try regicide.

The two spot the red mist, Hort noticing a second later. Rhian sees it, too, and shouts at all three to get away from the door.

Too late!

All three get possessed, Hort going into his Man-wolf form as Lucas and Ptolemus simply decide to rip and tear EVERYONE IN SIGHT.

Tedros tries taking care of Hort, but gets yeeted in the process, as Cal takes on Lucas and Evangeline tries to snap Ptolemus out of it.

The entire ballroom goes to shit with students and Silvers going off on each other as the red mist possesses them. Cal, Maven, and Mare are all fighting for their lives and wondering what the hell is going on, but quickly deduce that this is what's been bothering the school since a while ago.

Now why aren't Tibe and Rhian doimg anything? They're fighting they're own fight, Rhian with his magic and Tibe with his Burner ability; he was going to use hus sword, but Rhian told him not to because they couldn't have a body count.

Tibe demands to know if Rhian had anything to do with this and Rhian snaps if it looks like he did, gesturing to the students with wide arms and a panicked look.

Getting overwhelmed, the trio decide, very reluctantly to make a break for it, getting stopped by Ptolemus and Hort.

Good thing Evangeline decudes to be a good person and lend a hand before they attack her instead.

Cal shouts for her to come with, but Evangeline yells back that he'd better not die because he wouldn't run.

They leave just as they see Evangeline get swarmed by red mist possessed Silvers and students.

Agatha, Sophie and Tedros did escape, but it's not shown so we build tension😈

The RQ trio run out and get seperated, Cal chased by Lucas, a strongarm, and Hort, Maven chased by a couple wolves, and Mare chased by Elane, the coven, and Sonya.

We cut back to Rhian and Tibe, the former noting the fact that the mist is moving faster than he thought, and is stronger than before, as he heals a student who got knocked out cold. Tibe asks where his sons and Mare are, but Rhian says they should be fine. They're capable and are close with each other.

Tibe agrees and asks what they should do, seeing what's becoming of the students and Silvers. Rhian states that there's no time to get to his office, so he needs Tibe to be his shield as he heals as many prople as he can.

Tibe asks what's in the office, but we cut to Cal, before we get the answer. He's running through the halls of Good, and avoiding any runners(I know they're called zombies, but when I think 'zombie' I think of walkers from the Walking Dead, and these mofo's don't walk that much) he can, hiding behind walls and in classrooms to do so; it bugs the hell out of him, but he's not beating up any females and schoolchildren.

When the runners are gone, he slips down the hall and scoffs at the fact that almost everything he's looking at is candy and is both insane and a hazard, especially when he sees that bits and pieces of the wall are missing. (Really wonder which Evergirl did that one?)

Cal sneaks down more halls, but stops when he hears someone running down the next hall, crouching behind a wall. The footsteps slow and stop, also behind the wall.

After a minute, and with a head shake, Cal sparks up his hand and shouts as he wheels around the wall.

Maven yelps and falls back, covering his head; 6'3" of pure muscle with a killer instinct and fire powers, you'd have to have balls made of an allot made of iron, steel, and tungsten to not be afraid that jumping out at you from behind a corner.

They see that neither has the evil red eyes and reunite, hugging and sayimg they're glad the other's safe before asking where Mare is. Maven thought she was with Cal and Cal thought she was with Maven.

Good thing I bring up Mare because she's sprinting around the corner, leading Beatrix, Anadil, Tristan and Nicholas down the hall. No time for reunions because Lucas and Dot are right behind them, Dot casting chocolate onto the floor so no one can run while Lucas harpoons anyone he sees.

Yeah, time to go.

Like before, the students are unfortunately left behind, but this time, when they run up to Merlin's Menagerie, it's Mare who wants to go back and help them, but Maven pulls her outside as Cal slams and welds the door shut.

She yells that they could have saved them, but Maven argues that there wouldn't have been time.

They're all silent for a second, about to shake off what happened, but all get defensive again when they hear a twig snap, Cal holding out a blazing hand as he demands for whoever's out to show themself.

SURPRISE!!! The SGE trio is alive, though Tedros has some scratches from Hort on hus arm and chest.

They reunite again, glad everyone's alright, including Sophie, who gets a, 'Yay, you're alive🙄, happy to see you, too, now stay focused' from Cal as they see what's become of the school.

Yeah... Everything is shit, but as they qonder what the next plan of action should be Maven notices a bunch of red lights appearing in the School Master's tower, which Mare points to, and they agree they need to find a way inside.

They sonewhat argue on who should go, noting the airship/blimp/whatever aircraft available used to bring the other High House children and the fact the SGE trio can mogrify, but before they get a solid plan, runners burst outside, forcing them to run towards the aircraft.

Cal and Tedros fall vack every now and again to keep the runners back, buying them a couple minutes at most, but Maven runs into Mare, who's standing with a look of pure fear and despair on her face. The airship is too far for them to reach and is getting mauled by stymphs, who shred it and tear it down.

Thank goodbess Agatha comes up with a new plan by leaping off the roof and grabbing a stymoh, which has some rope caught on it. She makes it crash back onto the roof and saddles up-though, it'smore bare-backing here- as she explains they can ride the stymphs to the tower. Maven shouts that she's out of her mind, but Mare's on board because they have no other options and more stymphs are coming, some being normal and hollow eyed while the rest are pissed and red eyed.

Tedros kicks back a mist possessed Ravan and agrees as he and Cal race toward the rest of the group.

So there are three stymphs, which lead to them forming groups of two, and before Sophie can dream again, Agatha grabs her, pulls her onto a Stymph and takes flight, Mare and Maven following and shouting for Cal and Tedros to hurry up because theirs is taking off without them.

They jump for it and while Tedros manages to get on its back, but Cal isn't as lucky, instead having to grab its claw/foot and hope for the best.

His job's about to become harder because Hort, still in Man-Wolf form, leaps off the menagerie and bites onto Cal, around and slightly above his ankle.

Cal shouts and almost lets go before Tedros grabs his wrist. Cal apologizes abd kicks Hort off him, which not only makes Hort fall, but also makes the bite worse than it already is.

Don't worry, Hort lands safely on a tree a greenie summoned and got back inside the school.

The group makes it a good distance toward the tower, but get ambushed by mire red mist possessed stymphs that make them crash through a window on a lower level of the tower.

Everyone gets up and gets their bearings, but quickly have an 'oh shit' moment when they see the bite Cal got. They all wonder if he's going to get possessed, but Tedros doesn't think so, having seen how people get possessed, which is by the host 'giving' the red mist by making the person "inhale" the mist, and by inhale I mean the mist goes up their nose and into their mouth and down their throat, which leads to their possession.

Mare backs his play, having seen the same happen with Nicholas and Tristan, and they conclude that Cal's safe, as long as he doesn't bleed out.

Mare acts quickly and tears off parts of her dress to use as a bandage until they can get a proper healer, and Tedros flips out at the fact she's Red; Hort scratched her up too, and when Tedros asked earlier, she simply replied that it wasn't hers.

Regardless, Maven and Mare help up Cal and continue towards the tower until they reach Rhian's office, Cal and Tedros staying behind as lookouts so Sophie, Agatha, Mare, and Maven progress and see what or who is causing this all to happen.

Surprise, it's Elara, who's über possessed and writes with the Storian as it tries continuously to get away.

Mare's surprised by the fact Elara's been possessed, but is still surprised to see the Storian moving of its own accord.

They quickly form a plan, and convince a very disturbed Maven, who agrees, despite his instincts telling him not to because that's his mother and he still loves her.

They plan to dogpile her, but Cal and Tedros get attacked by Dovey, who's also possessed. Cal may has standards, but Tedros kicks Dovey's feet out from under her before they rush into the office, Cal limping a little.

It gets everyone else's attention and Mare and Tedros got right into attack mode. Too bad she deflects them like flies and casts spells and Maven, Sophie, Cal, and Agatha, to subdue them.

Elara, possessed, tells her to stop, because they're injured enough to do nothing, so Dovey simply magics them all to the floor.

Mare asks who this is, the person that isn't Elara, and why they're doing this.

Rhian, who the spirit(who we all know is Rafal, though his identity wouldn't be known as of yet) refers to as his darling, dimwitted brother, is foolish if he believes there can be such a thing as peace in times like these, where the Schools for Good and Evil can really be united and stay united with the introduction of the Silvers and their powers. Stories aren't meant to be peaceful, there must be discourse, and there can't always be happy endings.

Tedros argues that for every Good ending, there's an Evil ending that follows. Everything has to stay in balance, that's how it's always been.

Rafal scoffs and tells him he's more of a fool than he realized, if that's really how he thinks.

Maven's turn to ask a question, out of panic and emotions: Why Elara, of all people?

Rafal admits that he's glad Maven asked and leaves Elara's body and possesses him instead, which is painful.

'Maven' stands and Rafal explains that with the students and the Silvers of Norta, he had a lot of people to choose from, from the broken and empty Maven to the one-tracked thinker that is Cal to vain, selfish, beautiful Sophie to lying, prideful, foolish Tedros to Agatha and Mare, who are both eager and desperate to return to the dirt piles they called home, possessing each of them as he explains before returning to Elara, who tries crawling away before she's possessed again.

Rafal explains very sharply that the Queen was the best candidate for his plan, having seen how power hungry and rutheless she is, and sneers that he had tried to reach his goodie two shoes brother, but the two trios kept screwing it up for him.

Mare asks if he's going to kill them, and Rafal uses Elara's whisper ability to torture Mare into silence before her raises a hand, finger and palm filling with black magic as he dare her to guess.

With a quick apology to Maven, Cal tackles Elara/Rafal to the ground, and Dovey prepares to shoot a spell at him. Tedros shoves her just as Rafal backhands Cal off.

Before any more damage can be done, Maven pulls Elara off Cal, Rafal knocking him back with magic. Mare shoots some lightning at him, demanding he return the storian(he'sbeen holding it this whole time), as Cal and Maven stand with flaming hands, and their battle begins.

Meanwhile, the SGE trio deal with a possessed Professor Dovey, who cries at them that she's sorry and how they need to run as she casts a spell at them, one they dodge in time before anyone gets singed.

Thinking quickly, Agatha tells Tedros to give her and Sophie time, to defend them with his word, since he isn't the best with magic.

He does so, though Dovey fights back barehanded.

Seeing this as life or death, and finally putting her Evil to good use, Sophie tells Agatha to stand back and sings, summoning wasps, locusts and hornets to the tower and whistling them attack Dovey.

Back with the RQ trio, Rafal uses magic to fight off Cal and Mare, throwing them into a wall before approaching a weak and slightly injured Maven, grabbing his throat and picking him up, calling him weak and saying it's no wonder Tibe chose Cal to seat the throne and not a child like Maven.

Mare, who's been sneaking forward, grabs Rafal and knees him before electrocuting him(don't worry, Maven's fine). He casts a spell to the wall, grabs the cape Elara's been wearing, and magics out of there instead.

Mare gives chase with Agatha, Cal, and Maven behind her; Sophie and Tedros stay behind to keep Dovey busy.

The chase ends on the roof with Agatha catching up to Mare to assist.

Rafal ain't having that and uses Elara to control Agatha, who casts numerous spells at her and chases her around the roof before one hits her in the chest, sending her to the edge of the roof.

Cal calls for them both, but Rafal smirks at him as Dovey snatches him and pulls back in the tower.

Back on the roof, Rafal watches Mare dangle a little and saying she would have made a lovely fairytale, if only she hadn't interfered. He then grabs and commands Agatha to finish the job and make Mare fall, tightening his grip when she refuses.

Through the possession, Agatha cries and apologizes, but Mare does, too, because she electricutes them both, making Agatha and Elara fall back, amd forcing Rafal to drop the Storian.

Mare falls back and grabs for it, Agatha screaming and falling after her, much to the shock of Cal, Maven, Tedros, Sophie, and Dovey.

They both fall, disappearing into the mist for a second before the mist fades and the two rise, Agatha having mogrifed into a condor or a vulture as she carries Mare, who holds her claw and she holds the Storian.

They pick up Elara as she begins to come to before landing in Rhian's office, reuniting with everyone, and crying while doing so, but the boys won't admit it.

Outside, the mist falls. Silvers, Reds, Evers, and Nevers all drop and shake out of their haze. In the ballroom, Hort shifts back into a human and groans as he pushes himself up, Rhian handing him his cloak and saying he's alright, and will be okay. Tibe watches everyone come to and turns to Rhian, who says he knew they could do it, referring to Cal, Maven, Mare, Sophie, Agatha, and Tedros, and explains that regardless of which side it is, or who wins, there's always a happy ending.

Back with the two trios, they stop hugging and watch Elara cough and gag, red smoke spewing out of her nose and mouth until it takes the shape of Rhian, who charges at all of them.

The Storian stops him and, in its own words, tells him to get lost.

As the sin rises, Rafal vanishes, though retreats into the woods, leaving them all in shock and awe.

We get something of a montage of the group reuniting with Tibe and Rhian, everyone getting healed, the group hanging out in the infirmary, even as Hort apologizes to Val for biting him, but Cal tells him it's gine and shouldn't worry about it, Tibe commending Cal, Mare, AND MAVEN for their efforts, which is a shicker for both Maven and Mare, the Storian reporting to Rhian, and finally, the group, Tibe, Rhian, and Dovey confenting Elara, who's in Silent Stone manacles.

When told to explain, she states she was possessed, that jealousy had gotten the better of her. It started off as pleasant conversation, but soon, the voice in her own head started speaking of something that she had to refuse. Little did she know, Rafal is a narcissistic ass and took control of her. Rhuan asks what she means, and she responds that she remebered him talking about balance and the futility of appealing to both sides, speaking of how his brother was a fool and was never good at learning his lessons.

Rhian tries to pull the 'I don't know this spirit' card, but Sophie agrees, saying Rafal spoke of Rhian very poorly when they confronted him.

Slightly ashamed, Rhain admits that, yes, the spirit was his brother, who lost the war and died, and yes. By war he means the one that took place centuries ago.

He had tried to keep the spirit under wraps by using spells and charms around the school, but figures that something must've happened to one of the charms that allowed Rafal's spirit to return.

The gears in Cal's head start turning, but Rhian has Elara freed, much to the dismay of all the fandom, and commends all of the group for their bravery and efforts, saying the Woods is indebted to the Silvers, though more specifically Cal, Maven, and Mare, who admits that Tedros, Agatha, and Sophie deserve some credit, too, as they would've been minced meet without them.

Tibe thanks them, and says in return they can have anything they want, excluding Cal or Maven or Mare(pulls out the megaphine again for Sophie) BECAUSE THEY'RE BETROTHED(puts the megaphine away).

Agatha's about to take Tibe's offer amd ask if he can take her and Sophie home or to Norta, but stops when she sees Tedros struggle to keep smiling, Sophie waiting for the final blow that they're leaving Tedros and Cal behind forever, and Mare, who's just waiting to see where this goes.

She asks if they can keep writing to each other, seeing as how the Silvers are leaving tomorrow.

Tibe and Rhian agree, Rhian admitting he can show them a technique for sending letters, but on the condition that only Tedros, Agatha, and Sophie can write letters and no one else.

They agree.

Time jump to a creak as the group hangs out one last time, Mare and Agatha sitting on a log as they watch Sophie find wild flowers to press for her letters and the boys just goofing around, Tedros and Maven swimming as Cal struggles to get in the water, though to be fair, Maven is knee deep in the water.

Mare asks Agatha what made her change her mind about taking the trip back, seeing as how all she wanted was to go home.

Agatha sighs and ecplains that she still does, but, having heard what Rhian said, she now fears for what would happen if she and Sophie left. The other Evergirls aren't the best with magic and if the schools are taken over again, the Silvers aren't there, and Agatha and Sophie are in Gavaldon, they're all basically fucked. Besides, it would actually hurt Tedros's feelings, which Agatha admits as she watches him and Maven drag and throw Cal into the water and laugh as he scurries out, screeching at the top if his lungs.

Mare notices and asks Agatha if she has athing for Tedros, having noticed their little glances at each other and how Tedros gets when he's with her.

Agatha, flustered, counters Mare gets the same way with Cal and Maven, so she's no better.

Speaking of Tedros, Cal, and Maven, Mare and Agatha watch as Cal carries a flailing Maven over his shoulder and wrangles Tedros into his other arm before throwing them into the water, Tedros not really minding, but Maven screaming because the water's freezing.

Mare admits that she's pretty sure Cal's going to miss having Tedros around, at least, but Agatha reassures her that if Mare's a Red with powers in the Endless Woods, then anything's possible. The SGE is for fairytales, after all.

Time jump to the next day. Mare visits her room and falls back onto her bed, letting it swallow her up so she's stuck when someone walks into her room.

Agatha asks if she needs help and Mare accepts, letting Agatha pull her up, before the two hug; they've only known each other alfor a little more than a month, but they're friends, damn it.

Outside the school, everyone exchanges their goodbyes, some crying and some trying not not to cry because Silvers don't cry.

Tedros plays it cool when he says goodbye to Cal, holding out his hand and leaving his other hand resting on the hilt of his sword, claiming that he's looking forward to the next time they meet, so he can kick Cal's ass next time they spar.

Cal, upon seeing how shaky Tedros's hand is and how glassy his eyes are, ruffles his hair instead and reminds him that they can still write to each other. That's enough to make Tedros crack and hug Cal, who obviously hugs back.

Sophie says goodbye as well, to both Cal and Maven, saying she hopes they're happy with their betrotheds. Maven asks if she's finally got the point of what betrothed means, but Sophie reminds him to be careful, as she could always send a spider in their letters. Cal remarks that it wouldn't be very Good of her, but does tell her to stay out of trouble, as much as she can, at least. Sophie only folds her arms and dares THEM to try being good when attending the School for Evil.

Tibe and Rhian exchange their goodbyes as well, Tibe thanking the School Master for his hospitality and Rhian thanking Tibe for sending the Swift and the Eye a while back; he can't remeber the last time things were so entertaining at the school.

The Silvers all take thier seats in their carriages and wave goodbye to the students and Rhian, though Tedros, Sophie, and Agatha sort of run after the carriage Cal, Maven, Mare, and Evangeline are in, because they're teens and will miss the presence of their new friends.

They wave back, but Cal's smile drops as he gets to thinking about what Rhian said, about the charms around the school. As Evangeline, Mare, and Maven talk, Cal starts putting the pieces together and the realization he has makes him feel sick to his stomach.

When they board the ship, he tells Mare and Maven immediately:

When they first arrived, the Swift or Eye must've moved a charm, which allowed Rafal to take over.

Rafal appearing was a direct result of the Silvers.

Maven peers over Elara's shoulder to see her smirking at him, whispering to him that they need to talk again, but this time it's more important.

The three stare at the Endless Woods as they leave, the scene zooming in on the woods until we find an engraved rock on the ground, which Sophie picks up.

She hears a whisper in her ear as Agatha asks if she's coming back to the school or what, Sophie looking between her and the rock she found.

AND THAT ENDS RED SCHOOL! Holy shit! I did not expect this to take as long as it did, but I just turned a 100 page comic into a full fledged book, so of course this is long as hell.

Ibrelly hope you guys enjoyed this, I never thought I'd be doing this and get it done. And if Victoria Aveyard, Soman Chainani or Joel Gennari are reading this, THIS WAS JUST A FAN THING BECAUSE I GET BORED WITH MYSELF, PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT ME!!!😫🙏

Anyway, thank you so much for reading, amd I hope you enjoyed!!!!!

#red queen #school for good and evil #red school #mare barrow #agatha of woods beyond #tiberias calore vii #tedros of camelot #maven calore #sophie of woods beyond #tiberias calore vi #elara merandus #sge tedros #sge agatha #sge sophie #au #ua #cal calore

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inferniangod · 4 years ago

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@tricksterreformed

❛ there’s no place like home. ‘

“There isn’t. Tis a shame we have to trach so much blood on the carpet though.”

#tricksterreformed

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whaticannotshowyou · 4 years ago

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You asked for messed up, so how about Sounding with a hollow tube, plus thick, sticky come down it? that has to be massaged out once whoeverr's bladder is full of it. Add in that the thick sticky cum is fully nutritional, and Jaskier learns to (happily, ideally) live on it?

I hope I am interpreting this correctly, because gods do I love this. Much like I enjoy inflation in general, come inflation in someone’s bladder is... a guilty pleasure of mine(same with come inflation in someone’s balls no matter how unrealistic)

So Geralt is pent up and complaining about it, Jaskier telling him he’s exaggerating and ignoring it. So Geralt decides to show him just how bad it can be being pent up with so much thick, sticky come inside and ties the bard up. He works the sound inside slowly, careful with Jaskier yet smiling at his eager moans. It’s hollow and long, perfectly shaped to go all the way into the man’s bladder and open him up for the witcher. After breaching the sphincter he watches as Jaskier loses control and empties his bladder into the chamberpot, Geralt nice enough to not soil the bedsheets.

By then Geralt is so hard he can’t keep from touching himself, sighing and grunting as he jacks himself off. Jaskier is speared open before him, his most precious place stretched and ready to be filled by him. When he feels his balls draw up he kneels just before the bard, aiming his slit right at the hollow sound and lets go. Jaskier is immediately catching on and I think he freaks out just a little at first, squirming as he can feel the hot seed travel down the cold, metal tube and then pooling inside of his bladder. And it’s so much, much more than what the witcher normally produces and what would dwarf anyone’s volume. By the time Geralt is done Jaskier is sure he’s filled to the brim with the thick come, too sticky and viscous to leak back out of his hard cock the way his piss did.

But Geralt has no intention to stop just yet. His balls are filled with the stuff and aching with need to get it out, so he keeps stroking himself. When Jaskier protests he tells him it’s all to trach him a lesson, to make sure he knows how bad it is for a witcher to stay pent up and that he is in fact not exaggerating. He can see it’s uncomfortable, but the constant scent of lust coming off the man tells him it’s all okay. So he shoots another lod down the shaft, and a third. It takes several minutes to make it all flow down into the tube, it sticking to the surface and going down in thick globs.

By then Jaskier’s bladder is bulging, making a small dent in his otherwise flat stomach and Geralt smiles as he leans down to inspect it. He smells so much like him, claimed by Geralt from all directions, and it’s intoxicating. He is careful as he pulls the sound out, can tell just how badly filled Jaskier is from the way his belly cramps up trying to expel the liquid. But it doesn’t work, the bard panicking as he can’t get it out. It’s stuck, clinging to the tight walls and refusing to move anywhere, barely escaping the sphincter and travelling torturously slowly down his urethra.

Geralt asks him if he aches, if it’s too much pressure. He asks Jaskier to imagine all of that inside his balls, filling up in his sac and prostate trying to escape but not being allowed to. He starts pumping his shaft slowly, coaxing more of the fluid to seep out, bubbling out of his slit and dragging more along. It’s stringy and gooey, Jaskier almost sure he could start pulling on the small amount dripping out of him and would be able to pull more out just from that. But each time Geralt pumps his cock, it pulls more along, seeping out like sap.

The witcher presses down on his bladder and the pressure is too much for him, the thick seed trying to make space while sticking to his insides and desperately trying to escape. It’s packed into his urethra so much that it can’t escape any faster, just a long torturous experience as the man forces more out of him slowly, slowly.

#answer #didnt add much of the living off of come but i like the idea #just... im bad at writing right at this moment so #con #if #misc #ws

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lilypadwrites · 5 years ago

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Orc Boyfriend- Yurik

This is my first time writing in a long time and it’s also my first monster story. It’s dedicated to a lovely person I met on here. Hope you like it, Nicole!

~*~

When you were younger, the staring had bothered you. Not everyone was polite enough to mask their staring- some outright gazed at you in a strange sort of fascination. As a child, it made you want to hide. Now that you were older, looking at yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t really blame them.

You traced your fingers gently on the shiny burns on your face, tracing your fingers down your neck as you stared at your own reflection. Your fingers settled on your trach and you let out a soft sigh. On days like this, when you were overthinking and feeling down, you didn’t even want to leave your house. You found yourself wondering if an outing was really necessary today.

One quick trip to the kitchen told you that it was indeed necessary. The refrigerator was completely empty of fresh produce. Resigning yourself to your faith, you made a quick list and headed back to your room to get dressed. Usually, you wouldn’t put in quite so much effort, but you’d found that dressing up a little helped to brighten your mood. After a couple of minutes of looking through your closet, you settled on a baby blue sundress with a pattern of white flowers.

Looking at your reflection, you smiled softly before tying your hair back and grabbing a handbag. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all.

The farmer’s market wasn’t as crowded as you had thought it might be, which was another plus. That was probably because it was a Wednesday morning and most people were at work. Walking through the market, you took in all of the different shapes and sizes of the people you walked amongst. When you were a child, you were used to sometimes standing out the most in a crowd. Now, thanks to the new assimilation projects, a number of non-humans roamed the streets, leaving their own reclusive society to mingle with humans.

Tieflings with brightly coloured skin and horns, huge orcs and even the occasional centaur wandered through the crowds and manned their own stores. At this point, you were quite friendly with a lot of the stall owners.

You waved goodbye with a smile, taking a crate of eggs from the clawed hands of the naga in front of you. He smiled brightly at you, flashing a set of pretty terrifying teeth.

“You keep good, Nicole!” he replied, waving as you walked off. With your hands full, you mentally went over your list.

‘It seems like I have everything I need,’ you thought to yourself as you scanned the stalls. Something caught your eye. “Well that’s new,” you noted to yourself before heading over to the stall sporting a wide assortment of exotic fruits you didn’t even know grew in your area.

You may or may not have been staring (just a little bit), because the creature behind the stall smiled at you and waved a massive hand. Locking eyes with him, you inhaled sharply and gave a shy smile of your own. You took a moment to look the orc up and down. He was handsome for sure, even by human standards, with a strong jaw, mossy green skin and bright hazel eyes. His long, dark hair was braided at the sides and tied up in a bun. Long tusks, curled up from his bottom lip, though they were capped with bronze (probably to make him look less intimidating).

Realising that you had perhaps been staring at the orc for longer than necessary, you decided to head over to his stall. When the orc greeted you, the warmth of his smile seemed to spread through you. You returned the smile easily with one of your own.

You slipped the speech valve over your trach before speaking. “I haven’t seen you around here before,” you said, turning your eyes away from tracing his features. Instead, you looked at the spread of fruit.

“I guess you could say I’m new here,” he said, leaning forward on the top of the table. The movement caused his muscles to bulge and it was really all you could do to stop yourself from staring. “I’m Yurik,” he said, holding out a hand for you to shake. You slipped your significantly smaller hand into his and shook it, lingering for a moment before pulling back.

“Nicole,” you replied, letting your arm fall back to your side.

You stayed there chatting with him for a while, finding out more about him and talking about everything from your lives to the fruits he sold. He was from the tribe of orcs in the north who were pretty well known for having a way with plants. His name literally meant ‘farmer’. Every now and then, someone else came by his stall and he took a break from conversation to sell them something. Before you knew it though, it was time to go pick up your daughter from school. Looking down at your watch, you swore quietly.

“Somewhere you need to be?” Yurik asked, looking mildly amused by your quiet outburst. You laughed apologetically, scratching the side of your neck.

“Yeah, I have to go pick up my daughter from school,” you said, picking up your bags, which you had set down at some point. “I’ve been taking up your time for like two hours now and I haven’t even bought anything.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Yurik replied, packing some mouthwatering peaches, mangos and dragon fruits into a bag. “Just for you, the first sample is free,” he said with a wink.

“Wow, are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ve gotta make you come back somehow, right?” he said with a grin. Your cheeks flushed slightly as you took the bag.

“Thanks,” you said, smiling brightly as you prepared to leave. “Bye, Yurik.”

“Oh, one more thing,” he said. The orc pulled out a notepad and pen (both of which looked ridiculously tiny in his massive hands). He quickly scribbled something on the page, folded it and put it in your bag with fruits. “You have a great day, Nicole. I hope you and Ella like the fruits.”

Your smile widened as you turned and walked away from him. The whole interaction had you feeling warm and happy. You quickly headed back to your car, put all the groceries in the trunk and drove off to pick up your daughter.

Later that evening, you were unpacking your groceries and sorting through all of the things you had bought. Finally, you came to the bag of fruit that you had gotten from your new orc friend. On top of the pile of fruit, there was the folded piece of paper that you had sort of forgotten about. A grin spread across your face as you read the note.

Nicole,

Call me if you like the fruit.

Xx, Yurik.

(xxx) xxx-xxxx.

#orc boyfriend #burn patient reader #monster boyfriend #reader insert

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