#traced a selfie i took this morning

[trisiray]

i dont even know what to say

[malehypnofantasy]

I found him trying to ransacked my house one day after I just finished a very energy-draining trial day on the court. He thought his built and athleticism would get him away as he planned to harm me in his way out with the contain of my safe box, but I was not in the mood to play around that day so I just focused my thought and then told him to stand still. Much to his horror, he stood still in the middle of my apartment unable to move a single muscle in his body. I took of my shoes and then walked my way to him, much to his fear as the severity of his condition eventually sunk in. As I told him to drain his mind and then went on to sleep, he soaked his pants wet in instance as I placed this idea of him getting his mind drained by shooting the biggest load of his life which is where all his brains content went away. He let out this long lustful moan as 22-25 years of his life sucked all the way down to his meat and then spilled out with the semen that now dribbled to my carpeted flooring, which he would clean after all of the process finished. Around 10 minutes later, he's an empty bottle ready to be filled with anything I wished so I decided to ascribed him a much needed role

That was 3 years ago, right before the pandemic. He's been my loyal in-house servant ever since and with the lockdown enforced, I was having a full rein over him without a single soul ever asked on his whereabouts. Nowadays, I bet none of his friends or families (if he ever had any) would come looking for him. I can see him being quite a difficult douchebag to live with, I bet his surroundings might be so elated that he's gone

As I conditioned him to become my servant, aside from the sexual favor he gave me everytime I wanted it from him, he would bring me my coffee everyday to bed and he would be up since early morning to ensure my breakfast is served when I'm awake.

When I left him to work, he would send this routine selfie every 3 hours telling me what he has finished and what he would do for the rest of his working time.

"Cleaning the guest bedroom," he would sent me a text that accompanied his manwhore of a picture

Or something like

"Done with the master bedroom, waiting for you to be home so I can sit on your weary lap like this and give it a good rub,"

And these messages always managed to spark something in my senses that just made me rock hard every single time.

Today I just won a rather landmark case that took quite too long in my opinion, so I'm up for a celebration. I can see myself buried deep within him when I gave him the hardest fuck to date, but maybe I should dial things up a bit. A resistant story as I momentarily let any trace of old him resurfaced and realized he's been living a nightmare? Or should I just go the plain way of throwing him around like a rag doll? Hmmmm......so many choices or schemes I could go through to be honest

[cherrycola27]

daylight

Series Warnings: Mature Content 18+. Language, drinking, and allusions to smut. Eventuallyfull smut. Military inaccuracies. Minors DNI. Banner Credit @thedroneranger

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Chapter 3: Wounded the Good (Trusted the Wicked)

It had been just over a month since you'd come back into Bradley's life, and he still couldn't figure you out You weren't mean to him, per se, but the friendship the two of you had all those years ago was no longer there.

You didn't go out of your way to speak to him. You barely acknowledged him at work or when you were out with friends. And when he asked you a question, your answer was never more than a few words.

He thought maybe you were mad at him over the situation with Kat. But you didn't have a right to be mad at him for moving on. You left him. He just didn't understand

But Bradley did have a sneaking suspension that the box of letters Mav had dropped off to him the first night you came back might shine some light on your feelings. Bradley realized after a week or so that you'd probably brought it to give to him. That you'd kept it your whole deployment and how when he told Kat you were just a friend that it probably broke your heart

He also knew that you weren't aware he had the box. How could you know? As far as you were concerned, the letters were in the dump by now. Bradley had worked hard to keep the intrusive thoughts about reading those letters out of his mind But, as he sat on his couch with his third beer in hand, still frustrated about the talk he and Kat had about her moving in, again, he couldn't stop thinking about them.

So, Bradley let the intrusive thoughts win. He marched upstairs and unearthed the box from the pile of blankets and sheets it was under. He took it down to his living room and sat it on his coffee table before tracing his fingers over the painted designs and knickknacks that adorned it. He could picture you, sitting cross-legged on the floor of your bunk painting and gluing. He smiled at the thought of it.

Carefully, he undid the latch and admired the picture of the two of you taped to the inner lid. It was a blurry selfie of him kissing your cheek while you were laughing. It was taken on the beach at sunset. Both of you had rosy cheeks from the sun, and the wind was blowing the fine tendrils of your hair all around, but neither of your cared. It was the perfect photo of the two of you, well, of who the two of you used to be.

Bradley ran his hands over the papers in the box. There were hundreds of them. He wasn't sure where to start, but as he pulled the first envelope from the front, he saw the date in the upper right corner. It was from just about a week after you'd been deployed. Upon further investigation, Bradley noticed that the rest were dated and in order. Of course, you would be that organized. He took a deep breath and opened the envelope, and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. Your neatly looped cursive covered the page.

My Dearest, Bradley,

I wanted to start this letter by saying l'm sorry. l'm sorry for leaving you in our house, in our bed. The truth is, I didn't think I could face you in the morning to tell you goodbye. Because I felt like telling you goodbye meant that we were really over, and that's not what I wanted.

Second, I wanted to say how crazy it is that I'm writing you this letter knowing you'll probably never read it. I can't tell you much about this mission other than it is highly top secret, and we can't have contact with the outside world unless it's an extreme emergency. Unfortunately, missing your fiancée, well, ex-fiancée, doesn't count as one.

But honestly, I'm writing this letter because I miss you. It's been one week since l've talked to you, and I miss you. I miss your smile and your laugh, and your voice. I miss your hugs and your kisses and your sweet disposition, Bradley.

I know that I can't send this letter to you, but in a way, writing it helps me cope with the fact that you aren't here. It helps me feel like l'm talking to you, and it makes this carrier a little less lonely. I don't know how I'm going to go five years without seeing you, but I can't wait to step onto the San Diego sand and see you again.

Maybe I shouldn't get ahead of myself. I hope that I'm going to see you again, Bradley. But l've heard things about this mission, and I know it's dangerous more dangerous than anything we've done before. It's the kind of mission that people whisper about in corners. The kind that makes you think someone isn't going to make it back. I hope that isn't true. I hope I make it back to you, Bradley. But if I don't, I hope this letter, and any other ones that I write to you make it to you. So you have a piece of me to hold onto forever.

I carry a piece of you with me everywhere. Your challenge coin lives in the pocket above my heart in my flight suit. I never fly without it. I like to think it brings me good luck. When I'm in the air and I have it with me, it's almost like I can hear your voice in my comms. I also keep my bracelet with me. I wear it every chance I get, and when I can't. It's tucked away in my bra to keep you close to me.

Bradley pauses as his hand automatically reaches for the chain under his shirt. The one that matches your bracelet. He wonders if you still have it, if you still have his coin too. He runs his fingers over the metal, soothing himself.

He keeps reading.

I hope you aren't angry with me, Bradley. I know it must have broken your heart to wake up without me. But I hope you understand why I did what I did. I hope you know that I never meant to hurt you and that I still love you. I'l| always love you. You are the first person I've ever really truly loved, Bradley.

I know this distance is hard for us. And I know it's wrong of me to want it. But I hope that when I come back, we can pick up where we left off.

I'll write again soon.

Love Always, Your Birdie

Bradley's breath catches in his throat as a few hot tears sting his waterline and drop onto the page. He quickly wipes them away, afraid of damaging your words. Everything made since now.

In the years that you were gone, you'd never stopped loving him, wanting him, longing for him. God, he felt like such an ass now. He quickly put the first letter down and grabbed the next one.

Then another, then another. After a few more, sleep tried to creep into his eyes. So, Bradley went to his kitchen to start a pot off coffee. He poured himself a cup and read another letter and started a cycle.

Coffee, letter, repeat. He spent hours wrapped in your words until exhaustion forced him to fall asleep at his kitchen table.

A few hours later, he's jolted awake by the harsh sound of someone pounding on his door. "Bradshaw, open up. Are you alive? You missed the game!" He hears Jake yell from the other side.

Bradley jolts up from his table and scrambles to collect all of your letters that are scattered across his kitchen and living room. In his haste, he doesn't hear the rattle of the spare key the Daggers know he keeps under the potted plant next to his door turn in the lock.

"Bradshaw, what the fuck is going on in here?" Jake drawls out. Bradley turns to face him, papers in hand, and a deer in the head light look on his face.

"Uh—nothing." Bradley mumbles. "It doesn't look like nothing. What are these?" Jake asks as he grabs a stray letter from the coffee table.

"Don't touch them. They're mine!" Bradley snaps as he snatches the paper from Jake's hand. But it's too late, Jake knows that they are. "Are these letters from Birdie?" Jake questions him.

Bradley sighs, no point in denying it. "Yes, yes, they are. She wrote them to me on her covert deployment. There's hundreds of them. Mav found them in a box outside the Hard Deck near the dumpster."

"Because she was going to give them to you the night she returned, but you dropped the Kat bomb on her." Jake says as the pieces click into place.

"Yup." Bradley replies, popping the p.

"And I'm guessing Kat doesn't know about these?" Jake asks.

"She does not." Bradley says.

"Well— this—" Jake says as he gestures to the sight before him, "seems messy, and I'd rather not get involved, so good luck with whatever this is. I'll just text everyone that you were hungover and not dead," he finishes before turning on his heels and leaving Bradley alone.

...............

It's hard at first, finding your rhythm and your place amongst the Daggers again. But after a few weeks, you settle in.

It's Jake who asks you first about whether or not they will see you in a plane again, and you brush him off, claiming you're trying to get used to California time again. It pacifies the group, and no one really says anything else.

After a while, you seem to find your groove, and you fit back in with your group nicely. You find yourself going out with them more and more. And even though it hurts you to see Bradley with someone else, you can't be mean to Kat. She's so kind and genuine and always tells you how pretty you look.

A part of you feels bad for not telling her the truth about you and Bradley, but it's not your job to tell her. You just have to keep coming up with clever excuses as to why you can't come over every time she invites you to dinner.

You've officially been back for two months when Nat tells you that it's time to get back into the dating game. She tries to set you up with Bob, and he is sweet, but you remind her how well dating a coworker went for you last time. So instead, one Friday night, you find yourself sitting on the couch sharing a bottle of wine with her setting up your Hinge profile.

She flips through your photos, selecting a mix of ones that show you in a casual light alongside ones of you in your uniform, flight suit, and plane. You insisted that you didn't want to hide the fact that you were in the military.

Once your profile was set up, she helped you swipe until you got some matches. Then she helped you with some pick-up lines and conversation starters.

That's how you met Lucas. He was a few years younger than you, but he had his own place, an MBA, and worked in finance. He didn't mind that you were in the Navy. He actually thought it was cool.

Lucas was sweet and made you laugh, and after a few days of messaging on the app, you gave him your phone number. Two days later, he called you and asked you out on a date, and you agreed.

Thursday night, you pilfered through your closet to find the perfect outfit. Lucas is taking you to Dockside, a semi-upscale restaurant at the marina.

You flip through dresses before finding the perfect one. Unfortunately, when you try it on, it's not very compatible with your back brace. The material does little to hide the outline of it, and the dip in the back makes the top of it visible.

You pull off the garment and fling it to the floor before letting out a frustrated sigh. Ziva hops up and quickly retrieves it for you. You take the dress from her, and she sets her head in your lap, awaiting a few pets.

You take it from her and scratch her ears. You turn your attention back to the dress before deciding that you can go a few hours without your brace. What's the worst that could happen? You also decide that you could keep it and a sweater in your car, just in case.

You slip off your brace and try the dress back on. You double-check that the scars on your back aren't visible before taking it off and tucking it and your shoes and accessories into a garment bag.

Lucas is meeting you at 6:30, so by the time you get done for the day tomorrow, you won't have time to go home and change, so you decided to bring what you needed and get ready in your office.

.............

Bradley had set with the knowledge of your letters for a week. He hadn't read anymore since the very first night because he needed to process. He waited until the end of the day Friday to talk to you about them. That way, if he made an ass of himself, he wouldn't have to see you for two days.

He walked down the hallway and knocked on the door to your office. "Just a second!" Your voice chimed out. A few moments later, he heard the lock unlatch before the knob turned.

"Rooster." You said half-heartedly as you opened the door. "What can I do for you?"

Bradley stood there frozen at the sight before him. You had changed out of your uniform into a dress. A dress he knew very well. It was a golden yellow dress that reminded you of Andie's from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, which is why you had to have it.

But that wasn't why he remembered it so well. It was the dress you were wearing when he proposed to you, and the one he took off of you before making love to you that night. The last time he saw it was on your—his bedroom floor.

"Um—you're dressed up." Bradley sputtered out.

"Yeah. I, I have a date." You say shyly, feeling the weight of Bradley's gaze on you. "What did you need?" You ask him.

"I—I can't remember. Where are you going? With who?" Bradley asks you, suddenly feeling a pang of jealousy run through him.

"His name is Lucas. We met on Hinge after Nat set me up a profile. I'm meeting him at Dockside in thirty minutes, so if you don't need anything, I need to go." You say to him with an aggravated tone.

"Oh, well, where is Ziva?" Bradley asks you.

"Not that it's really any of your business, but Uncle Beau took her home for me. Now, unless you have something pressing, I need to leave." You huff.

Bradley shakes his head. You grab your things and push past him to go to the parking lot. Once you're safely in your car, you take some ibuprofen to hopefully prevent any unbearable pain tonight.

Ten minutes after you leave, Bradley gets to his Bronco. He slides in before grabbing his phone.

"Hey, Kat. I'm sorry about last week. Let me make it up to you. Let me take you to Dockside tonight. I'll pick you up at 7:00." Bradley says before handing up the phone and heading home.

................

Lucas is sweet when you meet him. He brought you flowers and kept his hand at a respectable spot on your back as the host guided the two of you through the restaurant. He pulled out your chair for you with a smile.

You were grateful that the chairs here had a higher stiff back. It would make sitting without your brace more tolerable.

After ordering wine and looking over the menu, the two of you fell into a comfortable small talk. One glass of wine and the salad course later, you felt comfortable around him.

He was interested in your career and laughed at your jokes. This date was actually going well until the host brought a new couple to sit at the table next to you.

"Birdie?" A familiar voice called. You looked over and saw Kat and Bradley standing there. Heat burned in your cheeks.

"Birdie, what are you doing here?" Kat asked as she looked between you and Lucas. "I'm, I'm on a date." You said to her. She nodded before turning to the host and asking to move.

"Kat, they are super busy. This table is fine. I promise I'll be on my best behavior." Bradley says before sending her a wink. Reluctantly, Kat sits down.

When your entrées were served, you realized you'd been talking so much about yourself that you felt embarrassed.

Lucas laughed and told you it was fine before you started asking him questions about himself. You tried to listen intently, but every time Lucas talked about managing a hedge fund or getting his MBA from Georgetown, you couldn't ignore the not so subtle groans and scoffs from Bradley.

After one particularly loud scoff, Kat kicked Bradley under the table so hard that the silverware rattled.

By the time dessert rolled around, pain had blossomed in your spine. You felt like you were burning from the inside out. You quickly excused yourself to the bathroom to take some pain medication. You took a few deep breaths before reapplying your lipstick.

When you walked back to your table, you could see Kat glaring at Bradley, and you assumed that he had done something when you were in the bathroom.

"Sorry for taking so long. I just needed to freshen up." You apologized to Lucas. "It's fine. I hope you don't mind that I ordered the chocolate melting cake for dessert. I've heard it's incredible." Lucas said to you.

"No, that's fine. I love chocolate!" You told him earnestly. And Lucas was right. The dessert was amazing. At the end of the meal, he quickly swiped the bill before you could even look at it. You noticed that Bradley and Kat also had their bill, opting not to stay for dessert.

After paying and leaving a good tip, Lucas helped you up, which you definitely needed but didn't want to ask for, before walking you to your car.

As you crossed the parking lot, you could hear the hushed whispers of a couple arguing. You turned to see Bradley and Kat in a spat. Surely, the result of his less than stellar behavior.

You don't know why he acted that way. You'd been more than civil to Kat at the various outings that the two of you had been at. He had no right to try and ruin your date.

You shook the thought of him from your head as you stopped beside your car. Lucas gave you a polite goodnight kiss before he opened your car door for you and made sure you got out of the parking lot alright.

When you finally made it home, you immediately ran inside and collapsed on your bed before grabbing your prescription pain medication and taking it.

Ziva came and rested beside you, waiting to assist you if needed, but you feel asleep before you could do anything else.

..................

Monday morning, you were fuming when you came into the work. You had time to recover over the weekend and really think about what Bradley had done.

You told him where you were going, and he purposely came to the restaurant to spy on you and your date. Where did he get off on that? You'd never done anything negative towards him and Kat. You'd always been civil to her. It's not like Bradley could be mad at you for doing exactly what he did. You had got to work early, and you clocked him coming down the hall a few minutes after you.

"Rooster!" You shouted at him. You could see the panic flash across his face before he quickly walked towards you.

"Yes?" He asked, feigning innocence.

You grabbed him by his collar and dragged him into your office.

"What the fuck is your problem?" You say as you haul him inside. "Excuse me?" He asks you.

"You heard me! You brought Kat to Dockside to sabotage my date. You were jealous that I was going out!" You yell.

"I did not. We had a fight earlier that week, and I had already planned this. It was just a coincidence that we happened to show up and be sat next to you. Honestly." Bradley defends himself.

"I don't believe you!" You tell him. "You don't like the fact that I went out on a date. Just admit it. The idea if me moving on bothers you. Which isn't fair because you moved on and got yourself a whole-ass new fiancée!" You scream at him.

"Leave Kat out of this." Bradley bites back.

"You didn't." You retort. "I mean, seriously, what is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem!" Bradley argues with you.

"Yes, you do! Lucas is a great guy, and all you did was scoff and make snide comments about him!" You say as you poke Bradley's chest.

"He's about as interesting as watching paint dry." Bradley rolls his eyes.

"Well, at least he was communicating with me." You cross your arms over your chest.

"Fine! Do you want to know what my issue was? It was your dress. You wore that fucking yellow dress. It was the same one you were wearing when I proposed to you!" Bradley throws his hand up in defeat.

You narrow your eyes at him. "Well, I am so sorry about that. Next time I wear something that you proposed to me in, I'll make sure Lucas is the only one who sees it. Now get out!" You state before opening the door and slamming it behind him.

A few hours later, there is a knock on your door. You aren't expecting anyone, and you're even more shocked to find that it's Kat on the other side.

"Kat. Did you get lost looking for Rooster?" You ask her. "No. I—I came to see you, actually." She admits.

You hesitate for a moment before inviting her in.

"I came here to apologize for Bradley's behavior this weekend." She says to you earnestly. "It's fine. Really." You tell her.

"No, it isn't. I don't know what his problem was." Kat says.

"Rooster was my wingman for years. When you spend a bunch of time with someone and go on deployments, you get—close." You trail off. Kat quirks an eyebrow at you.

"Like siblings." You finished quickly. "Rooster is like a brother to me. He just—wants what's best for me." You sigh.

"Well, it doesn't give him an excuse to act like a dick." Kat says. You laugh at her comment. "But seriously. I'm so sorry for how he acted. I hope he didn't ruin anything for you."

"No, he didn't. Lucas and I are going out again on Wednesday." You tell her with a smile.

"Good. I'm glad. He seemed nice." Kat smiles back at you.

"Also, Birdie, I was hoping that I could make it up to you. I was thinking we could get brunch on Saturday?" Kat asks you.

"Kat, that's really sweet, but I don't think I can be around Rooster right now. I'm still mad at him." You tell her.

"No, I didn't mean with Bradley. I meant the two of us. Like a girls' date!" Kat chirps with hope in her eyes.

You want to turn her down, but she's got such a genuine smile on her face, and you can tell she's trying to be nice. "Okay. I guess we could do that." You say. She squeals before giving you a quick hug.

"Yay! I'll get your number from Bradley, and I'll text you the details!" She cheers before walking out. "Sounds great." You call down the hallway before shutting the door behind her.

At the sound of the door closing a little too hard, Ziva perks up from behind your desk and gives you a puzzling look.

"Oh, Zee. Brunch with my ex-fiancées current fiancée. What could go wrong?"

Taglist: @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @desert-fern @wkndwlff @roosterforme @daggerspare-standingby @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233 @na-ta-sh-aa @katieshook02 @beyondthesefourwalls @je-suis-prest-rachel @soulmates8 @diorrfairy @eli2447 @xoxabs88xox @djs8891 @roosters-girl @rosiahills22 @dempy @callsign-magnolia @gretagerwigsmuse @lt-spork @seitmai @kmc1989 @bcarolinablr @itsdesiree86 @waywardhunter95 @whatislovevavy @inkandarsenic @mak-32 @dingochef @princess76179 @schoollover @cheyrenee @sebsxphia @sylviebell @marvelouslyme96 @intrinsicreader @maverick-wingman-favorites @khaylin27 @toomuchfluffs

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Playing Pretend (Part 6)

Alcohol does wonders at lowering inhibitions.

Roy Kent x Reader

1.4k words

Warnings: Language, alcohol, drunkenness, pining, maybe some angst?, Roy being a pretty darn good guy

Series Masterlist

Yet another one of Jim’s cousins walked away after asking for selfie with Roy Kent. He was a bit surprised it hadn’t gotten around the drawing room yet that he’d politely declined each and every time, but, considering how sloshed most people were at the unofficial “rehearsal dinner after-party��, it was almost understandable.

He tightened his grip on your waist as he watched you take another shot. You smiled sloppily at him, adoration in your eyes, looking more relaxed than you’d been all weekend. Feeling a bit more than tipsy himself, Roy returned your grin and attached his mouth to yours, the alcohol in his system giving him just enough audacity to let his tongue skim your bottom lip for a fraction of a second.

Between the alcohol and the feeling of Roy’s tongue, you were suddenly feeling dizzy. The moment you pulled back from the kiss, he could see it. Immediately, his hand was on your cheek, warm and protective.

“Wanna go outside? Get some air?”

“Yes. Yeah.”

The next thing you knew, Roy was pulling you to your feet and holding you tight around the waist. Still feeling quite jovial despite your spinning head, you grabbed the whiskey bottle the two of you had been sharing, eliciting a chuckle from Roy, who kissed the top of your head as he muttered, “You are going to feel like shit in the morning, you muppet.”

The sounds of drunken laughter began to fade as the two of you walked outside, heading back to the secluded bench you’d shared the night before. You nestled close to Roy as he wrapped an arm around you and took the whiskey from your hand, helping himself to a generous swig. He tilted his head back with a sigh.

“So many fucking stars,” he breathed, tracing circles on your arm. “You never see this many in the city.”

You took a small sip from the bottle, shivering as it travelled deliciously down your throat. “Yeah, but you’re my favorite star.”

Roy shook his head and laughed. “Fuck, you’re really sloshed, aren’t you?”

Instead of answering, you simply stared at Roy. Roy Kent. Football star. Your childhood friend. Your best friend’s big brother. Your favorite person in the world. Your lifelong crush. Your fake boyfriend. Your absolute savior this weekend. Probably the love of your life.

“You know,” you started slowly. “I cried for about a month straight when you left for Sunderland. My mum says I was absolutely inconsolable.”

The snort Roy emitted was full of affection. “You were, what, four? What the fuck did you know?”

“I knew you were my Roy. You were the person I adored most in the world. And you were gone.” You held his gaze steadily as you took another nip. A thoughtful smile played on your lips. “Roy Kent. First boy to break my heart. And you didn’t even know it.”

Roy shifted his body to face you properly, his own heart cracking a bit at the memory of hugging you goodbye the night before he left, at the special dinner your mothers had made for him as a sendoff, and of every goodbye he’d said to you over the years as he came home for visits, each goodbye harder than the last. “I’d never break your heart.” His gruff voice was barely above a whisper. “Not on purpose, anyway.”

You leaned your forehead to his, nodding. “I know, Roy. I know.”

The two of you sat in the dark, holding each other, losing track of time, neither of you wanting to move and break the spell you were under. The only sounds in the night were leaves rustling in the light breeze and the faint sounds of people partying and the shuddering breaths that filled the incredibly small space between the two of you as you both tried to figure out what to say next.

Roy’s mind was racing as if it were dribbling a ball down the pitch with only seconds left in stoppage time. He should tell you. He was definitely feeling brave enough, thanks to that nearly empty bottle in your hands. The setting was romantic enough- private and dark, lit by a full moon and twinkling stars, your own little fantasy world. And the way you were looking at him told Roy that you were feeling the same urge to close the space between your mouths.

The sound of the bottle crashing to the ground caused both of you to jump.

“Fuck,” you hissed, staring down at the glass on the ground, broken as the moment the two of you had been sharing. You bent down and started to try picking up the jagged pieces, but Roy grabbed your wrist.

“Gonna fucking stab yourself,” he mumbled, rising to his feet, and tugging you up with him. “C’mon. Let’s head upstairs, you’ll need your sleep for tomorrow.” His hand slipped into yours and led you back into the house, avoiding the gazes of those still partying in the drawing room.

In the hall, he wrapped an arm around you to help you walk steady, lovingly shushing your giggles as the two of you walked by closed doors until you finally arrived at your room.

Once the door was closed firmly behind him, Roy looked at you. You were standing far too close, looking far too beautiful, gazing at him with far too much affection. He gulped, trying to remember the last time a woman made him so nervous. The answer was, of course, you. It was always you.

“Alright there?” he asked, trying to keep his cool, wondering where all that liquid courage of his had gone.

You nodded wordlessly, tugging him by the hand towards the bed. Instinctively, he followed your lead and sat down, his mind swimming with nervousness and excitement, the way it often did before an important match. Before he could say anything, before he could ask what was up with that look in your eye, you leaned forward and crashed your lips into his.

Without a second thought, he brought a hand to the back of your neck, his heart exploding with the realization that you were kissing him, and no one was watching, you were kissing him just because, for whatever glorious reason, you wanted to. This is real, he stupidly thought as your tongue unabashedly glided across his lips, amplifying the taste of whiskey on his own mouth.

The flavor also reminded him that if he was giddy and tipsy, you were pretty sloshed. And that wasn’t how he wanted to do this. Not after all these years of pining and waiting.

Despite every instinct telling him otherwise and the voices in his head screaming at him for being an idiot, Roy pulled back, offering you a small, sad smile. He wanted you more than he’d ever wanted anything in his miserable life. But he wanted to do things right. He wanted to give you the mushy confession of love you deserved, the one he’d been thinking about and writing and rewriting since he was a young man. He wanted to take you out on a real date, one that would surely lead to a second and third date. And most of all, he wanted you to remember everything in the morning.

“We… should to go sleep,” he heard himself whisper, his hand still gripping the back of your neck, his thumb absently stroking your skin. “Big fucking day tomorrow.”

If it weren’t for his inner turmoil, Roy would’ve thought your drunken pout was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. “But… I want…”

He nodded and pressed a love-filled kiss to your forehead. “I know. Let’s see if you still want all that when you’re sober, hmm?” He grabbed your pyjamas that sat folded neatly on the bed and thrust them into your hands. “Bathroom, alright?”

With the huffed obedience of a child, you took the clothes and went into the bathroom. Once your dress was on the floor and your pyjamas were on, you returned to the room, where Roy was already on his side of the bed, a look of nervousness in his eye, something you weren’t used to seeing.

“Alright there?”

Stifling a yawn, you nodded and slid into bed beside him, chucking aside any awkwardness to snuggle close to him. After turning off the light, Roy allowed himself the pleasure of wrapping an arm around you, pulling you into a spooning position and relishing the feeling of your body pressed against his.

Tomorrow he’d go back to being fake boyfriend. Tomorrow he’d get the nerve to tell you how he felt. Tomorrow he’d take a chance and find out if he was the biggest idiot in the world.

But for now, he let himself hold you tight, listening to the soft sounds of your breathing as you drifted off to sleep in his arms.

[luc606]

Seven doesn’t understand you. Or, rather, he understands you too well. He knows what it’s like to be stubborn and want the best from people only to be disappointed. He knows what it’s like to wait for something that never comes.

- i just wanted to write about cutting saeyoung's hair don't mind me pairing: Saeyoung/MC (gender neutral 2nd person) canon 707 route timeline read on ao3

Seven doesn’t remember his last haircut. He’s sure he got fed up with his hair falling into his eyes and drove to a random cheap salon. He’s sure he paid in cash, that he tipped plenty, that he barely spoke to the hairdresser. He thinks he might have thought about sending a selfie to the RFA chatroom, but he’s sure that he decided against it. He knows that there were times before, when he was deep in hiding and in work from the agency, where he cut his own hair. He’s learned not to trust himself with it, though.

His last haircut must have been at least a few months ago—before the hacker, the apartment, and the fight with V. Before you.

Seven’s hair has grown unruly, falling into his eyes and obscuring his vision. Deep in his work tracing the hacker, he pushes his bangs back with his headphones like a makeshift headband. He’s sure that he looks ridiculous and hopes that you don’t wake up to see him like this. It doesn’t occur to him that he shouldn’t care what you think of how he looks.

You’re curled up on the couch, asleep. Seven recalls, with some indignation, the declaration you made before staying on the couch. How you accused him of not getting enough rest, how you refused to go to bed until he took a break.

The fight ended in a stalemate and then in soft breaths from the couch beside him. You had fallen asleep, phone in hand, watching him work.

Seven doesn’t understand you. Or, rather, he understands you too well. He knows what it’s like to be stubborn and want the best from people only to be disappointed. He knows what it’s like to wait for something that never comes. The frustration lies in the fact that your stubbornness rivals his own.

He sighs, rubs his eyes, and removes his headphones. This keeps happening—his thoughts building and building until he finds himself unable to continue working.

Fine. He owes it to you to take a break.

Seven ruffles his hair back into place. He washed it earlier and it air-dried, revealing the little cupid curls that he thinks make him look boyish and cute. The way his red hair coils around the nape of his neck reminds him of how adorable his brother was when they were both little. It also reminds him of the passage of time and of the mother who gave him the curls in the first place. The overall effect is bittersweet, like anything else within reach of Saeyoung Choi.

There’s a slight change in the pattern of your breaths, then Seven sees you shift, dropping your phone to your lap and rubbing sleep from your eyes. Seriously. It’s like you’ve got sixth sense just for him. He hadn’t even made a noise.

“Go back to sleep,” he says, barely a whisper. He doesn’t sell it, though. He wishes you would go all the way to the bed on the other side of the room and curl up out of his sight. Then, at least, maybe he would be able to concentrate.

You make a sound that’s somewhere in-between a groan and a huff. You’re not fully awake yet, but you’re awake enough to be disagreeable.

“Seriously…” Seven rolls his eyes. It’s almost funny, the lengths you’re going to just to spite him. He wishes he had it in him to laugh and call you silly. Caring for him to the point of exhaustion seems completely absurd.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” You pick up your phone again, frowning at the screen. It’s nearly four in the morning. You’ve been asleep on the couch for two hours. “You’re taking a break, though.”

In a way, you’ve got what you wanted. Seven is resting his eyes and stretching his neck. You’re probably thinking that it’s better than nothing and counting a tiny win for yourself.

Seven sighs again, fluffing his curls out of his face with a shaking hand. He can’t imagine he’d be able to sleep even if he had the time. 

“Is your hair bothering you?” Your voice is softer than usual, more timid. Seven recognizes an unfamiliar trepidation and cringes. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive himself for shouting at you earlier. “You mentioned in the chatroom before…” You trail off, worrying your hands in your lap. “About needing to cut your hair.”

“It’s fine,” Seven says. “Don’t worry about it.” He feels a bit like a robot, programmed to self-isolate. He’s got a limited number of useful phrases; go away, leave me alone, don’t worry about me, I’m fine, let it go…

“I could trim it if you want. It really wouldn’t take long.” You straighten on the couch, squaring your shoulders at him. “It would be easier to work without hair in your eyes.”

As much as Seven wants to turn you down again, he sees the utility of it. His hair really is a nuisance, and the sensory overload of it is impeding his work.

“Fine,” he says, before he can change his mind. “Sure.”

You’re off the couch in an instant, flying to turn the lights in the living room back on. He can tell by the way you hide your face that you’re trying not to look too surprised that he’s accepted your offer. You don’t say anything as you pull a chair into the bathroom and a pair of haircutting scissors out of the sink cabinet. Seven follows, mesmerized by how quickly and effectively you spring into action. It’s like you’re a kitten, leaping from the shadows onto an unsuspecting ball of yarn.

Briefly, Seven wonders whether the haircutting scissors are yours or Rika’s. He’s already decided that it doesn’t matter when you say, “These are mine,” as if you’ve read his mind.

“Do you cut your own hair?” he asks.

You nod. “I trim my own bangs.”

Seven chuckles, a little of his old self coming back to him in his nervousness. “So, I’m in good hands, then?”

When you smile, Seven realizes that he’s missed seeing you at ease. It’s not as though it’s been very long since he’s seen your smile, but, still, he realizes that he’s been longing for it. Even when you’re right in front of him, he can feel the distance he’s put between the two of you. It’s an oppressive feeling of loneliness, like being lost in space with limited oxygen supply.

“Of course,” you say, playfully snipping the air, “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Seven follows your instruction to sit. After some hesitation, he shrugs off his jacket.

“Do you want to…” You trail off, biting your lip, looking worried. Seven is more attuned to your facial expressions now, perhaps overcompensating for how he’s hurt your feelings. He can’t stand thinking that you might be scared of him, even if that’s exactly what he needs you to be. Desire to keep the walls between you in tact is in constant combat with his desire to put you back at ease in his presence.

“Are you okay?” He sounds a bit like you, timid and sugary-sweet. His voice seems to echo with the memory of yours from the past few days. Half of the conversations he’s had with you have begun with your voice asking this same question in the same tone.

He watches you in the bathroom mirror as you nod your head, then shift on the balls of your feet. “Hair gets in your shirt collar.”

“So?”

You duck momentarily out of the frame of the mirror. Your voice behind him is half-hearted, like you’ve run out of steam. “Never mind.”

That’s when he realizes what you mean, and his mind becomes an overheating CPU again, whirring out of his control. He imagines taking off his shirt so that tiny hairs don’t stick to him when they fall. His muscles are a surprise to anyone that knows his habits, so he imagines seeing that surprise on your face. Warmth creeps across his neck at the thought.

“It’s okay. I have other shirts.” He already feels exposed enough without his hoodie, but it’s equal parts freedom and vulnerability. He sits a little taller, as if the weight of the jacket pressed his shoulders down when he wore it. His arms, though, feel stiff and too long without familiar pockets to rest in. He hasn’t made eye-contact with himself in the mirror once, but he knows he looks a little clearer.

“Sure.”

It is in this moment when both of you realize the situation you’re in. You haven’t ever touched him before deliberately. There was one time when your elbow bumped his while you were eating with chopsticks beside him, followed by a hurried apology and a shuffle away. You seem a afraid of your hands being in his hair.

Seven clears his throat and tilts his chin up so that his head is perfectly straight. “I’ll try to keep still.”

“Alright, yeah.“ You take a section of hair at the back of his neck, pinching little cupid curls between two fingers. “Be still.”

The first snip takes away almost nothing at all. Seven can tell that you’re easing into it. Really, he wouldn’t care if you did a bad job. He can only worry about so much at a time, he reckons that a bad trim wouldn’t even be a blip on his radar. The second snip is a little more sure.

Seven has never had an easy time staying still. He’s always bouncing his legs or rocking in his chair or typing imaginary lines of code with his idle fingers. For you, though, and for the sake of his cherry-red curls, he puffs out his chest and counts slow breaths. He keeps his promise, only moving when you direct him to tilt his head one way or another.

You do your best to minimize falling hair as you cut, throwing pieces into the bathroom trashcan instead of letting them fall. Still, Seven can feel little tickles under his collar. He tries to ignore them, along with his rising internal temperature. As well as your hands combing his bangs to one side and then the other, your warm breath against his neck when you lean in to trim beneath his ears. You study him like a sculptor smoothing details into clay, leaning close as you measure pieces of hair against each other, aiming for perfection.

“Do you usually go to a hair salon to get your hair trimmed?”

Seven is startled when you break the silence, but he’s careful not to show it. He takes a breath. “Yeah, it gets away from me, though.”

A lot of things get away from him. For his entire adult life, Seven has been tossed around by the agency and V, treading water all the time. Before, when he still believed Saeran was safe, it hadn’t been so bad to let himself be used. Knowing that it’s all been for nothing, though, Seven finds a new feeling of guilt and loss at having led such a terrible life with nothing to show for it.

“Are you alright?” you ask, for the millionth time in a day. The words seem to fall from your mouth without thought.

Seven frowns, wondering how he could even begin to answer.

“Don’t answer that,” you say. It’s obvious that he’s not alright. “Sorry.”

It’s a mercy when you’re finished. You ruffle his curls one last time and step back. Seven sucks in a breath and slumps against the chair. His shoulders muscles ache from the tension he’s been holding.

“What do you think?” You take a step back and cross your arms.

Seven has to stand to fully see his face in the mirror. Really studying himself like this is something he tends to avoid, but it becomes easier in the moment than looking back at you.

“It looks good,” he says, and he isn’t lying. You’ve only done a utilitarian trim, keeping his normal hairstyle completely in tact, but it looks about as good as a professional haircut. A bit more of his face has been revealed by his bangs being trimmed back, again making him feel simultaneously more vulnerable and more at ease.

You put the scissors back into the bathroom cabinet. It’s clear by the way that you scoot around him to the door that you’re avoiding his eye contact as much as he’s avoiding yours.

“You probably want to shower,” you say, “the little hair pieces…”

“Right, yeah.”

Seven realizes far too late that you’ve tricked him into almost an hour away from his computer. He doesn’t mind, though, because he nearly shudders at the thought of hot water hitting his swimming head and sore back.  

You nod, then leave him alone, closing the door as you go.

Out of necessity, Seven uses your shampoo. He scrubs his shoulders with your soap and the steam carrying your scent envelops him like a blanket. The corners of his eyes prick with tears at the foreign tenderness you’ve shown him. Not just in cutting his hair in the middle of the night, but in making sure he’s eaten and slept, in trying to reason with him and being understanding when he’s pushed you away.

Seven never cried as a child. It was important for him to be strong for Saeran, and he didn’t like letting his mom know how he felt, no matter how terrible she was to him. There was power, then, in hiding away. Everything he was able to keep for himself was a luxury.

Until a few days ago, the same principal applied. All of the secrets about his past were like the expensive cars in his garage, tucked away in the dark, completely under his control. Everything was compartmentalized into boxes labeled with his three identities.

He imagines the name tags on them. Luciel, the martyred angel, 707, the secret agent, and Saeyoung… Saeyoung doesn’t need an epitaph. The syllable he shares with a lost brother is enough.

When he finishes showering, he wraps himself in a towel and drops the clothes he was wearing into the hamper. He notices that the hamper is empty, meaning that you secretly did his laundry for him even when he told you not to worry about it. He heaves a half-frustrated-half-adoring sigh.

“Do you feel better?” you ask him when he returns to the living room, wearing a clean pair of black sweatpants and a new red t-shirt. He puts his jacket back on and returns to his place in the corner. You have curled back up on the couch next to his workstation with your phone, tapping away at a text to someone in the RFA app. Seven wonders if you’re telling one of the members about the haircut you’ve given him.

Seven drops down to the floor. His hair is still damp, pieces of it sticking to his ears and his face, but it’s no longer in his eyes or tickling his neck. He feels like a new man. “Yeah.” He unlocks his laptop and picks up right where he’s left off tracing the hacker. “Thanks.”

“You’re going to work more?”

“I have to.”

“Right.”

He watches as you get up and retrieve a spare blanket and one of the pillows from the bed. You set them on the couch and, for a moment, Seven thinks you might demand that he sleep there.

Instead, you settle back into your spot and pull the blanket over you. “If you get tired, take a nap on the bed.”

Seven sees no point in arguing, your tone is so matter-of-fact. He only nods. “Fine. Go to sleep.”

“Goodnight, Seven.” You reach out a hand and ruffle his hair. The gesture is so nonchalant that, by the time he’s registered it, your hand is already tucked back into the blanket.

Seven sits there for a moment, listening to your gentle breaths beside him and the soft whir of his laptop’s fan cooling the CPU. He’s in another stalemate with you, exactly where he started.

“Goodnight.”

[bullet-prooflove]

Happy Birthday: Harmon 'Harm' Rabb x Reader (NSFW)

Tagging: @dizzybee03 @kmc1989

It’s zero six hundred hours and Harm is standing on deck of the USS Allegiance, watching the sun rise over the horizon with a cup of coffee in his hand, the sea breeze ruffling his hair.

It’s your birthday today, he wants to call but it’s one in the morning in Washington and he knows you’re sound asleep from the goodnight text you’d sent. He occupies himself instead by scrolling through the pictures on his phone, the ones of the two of you together. It’s the first night he’s looking for, the selfie you took at the bar before he’d taken you to bed. You look so happy, your cheek pressed against his, the jukebox looming in the background. Every time he hears Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Glory Days’ he thinks about that night, how it started, how it ended.

He'd kissed you under the streetlamp outside of your apartment building, he hadn’t stopped until he reached your bedroom and then it was only to undress you. You were beautiful, he remembers thinking that as his fingertips traced over your scars, the ones he knew about, the ones he didn’t. He'd spent the night exploring you with his mouth, worshipping you the only way he knows how.

You taste like honey when you come, your fingers gripping his hair as you crest against his mouth. He doesn’t stop though, he fucks you through it with his tongue before he draws another out of you. You're needy and overstimulated by the time he’s finished with you, skin flushed and eyes bright.

His thumb chases over the apple of your cheek as he presses his forehead against yours, his cock rubbing against that sweet wetness.

“Think you can take a little more?” He asks you, his eyes on yours as his thumb trails over your parted lips.

You respond by arching just a little and he moans into your mouth as the tip of his dick slips inside you. Christ you’re tight, you take his cock so fucking well as he enters you inch by inch until his hips are flush against yours.

“Oh Savanna,” He’d drawled as he kissed your lips. “You have no idea how perfect you are.”

That had been exactly three years ago. He’d woken up tangled up in your sheets, limbs entwined with yours, your face buried in the curve of his throat.

“Happy birthday.” He had whispered, his lips brushing over your forehead as he’d held you close.

The sound of the ship’s horn brings him back to the present and he looks down at the time on his phone with a sigh. He needs to be at his station in five minutes if he wants to leave on time. He sends you the picture from that night, waiting for it to pop up on his screen because the signal can be sketchy out here.

Three years ago you gave me a wonderful gift, he types underneath, I hope you enjoy yours.

He’s flying out later today and when he lands, it’s going to be at your door.

Love Harm? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[theficcafe]

𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞 - 06

↳ Genre: Angst, Fluff

↳ Pairing: college!gojo x fem!reader

↳ Warnings: unrequited love

↳ Playlist: (will link here!)

↳ Masterlist: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10

song for this chapter: question..? - taylor swift

"Good girl, sad boy

Big city, wrong choices."

You didn’t have any history of insomnia. 

In fact, you had a healthy relationship with sleep. Unlike Shoko, whose body clock has been completely altered, you valued having 8 hours (or more) of sleep. You once explained the long term effects of having frequent all-nighters to Shoko using a PowerPoint presentation you created in an hour after seeing how exhausted she looked during the daytime, only for her to wave it off and say “everyone dies one day, anyway.”

It’s funny though - how you’re looking at Shoko now, fast asleep next to you, looking peaceful as ever, at 11PM. And yet here you are; eyes wide open, no trace of grogginess. You were wide awake and you knew it’d be awhile before you can join her in the dream land.

You reached for your phone on the night stand, unlocking it to look at the pictures you had taken earlier. The sunset looked beautiful in Tokyo, and you couldn’t help but take a piece of it with you through photography. You took quite a few selfies for remembrance, and spent the rest of the time thinking of someone  admiring its beauty.

A text notification from Yuuta snapped you back to reality. A small smile made its way to your lips upon seeing his name.

yu: when are youuu coming back home? mei mei’s so unforgiving with the shifts that i am covering for you! she said it’s for when you come back. you’d have all your shifts covered, so that means you still get paid. and i don’t get any?! i’m her brother!

You chuckled. Mei Mei has always been playful with Yuuta, teasing him every chance she gets. It’s always a fun dynamic to watch whenever you would be invited for sleep overs at their house. Though Yuuta sees it as a never ending cruelty imposed by his older sister, you, as the spectator, knows that this is Mei Mei’s way of showing his love for him, despite the age gap.

With them, you never once felt alone.

ramen provider: you get half, i promise!

yu: i better get half. also, i took all your ramen packs yesterday. figured they needed to be eaten by someone before they expire..

ramen provider: that’s the plan buddy

yu: why are u awake btw? you usually sleep early when you don’t have anything to do

You paused. 

You knew the answer; it’s already in the back of your mind. A certain name. 

How could a faceless person knock on the walls of your mind and make it their throne without your permission? How mighty could he be, Gojo Satoru, for him to reach every corner of your mind as his own? 

For you, he was the unexpected guest; one who knocked rapidly on your heart, only to be answered with deadly silence. But despite your eyes reflecting a very angry thunderstorm, he took his shoes off and barged right into your heart.

You diverted your attention back to your conversation with Yuuta.

ramen provider: just losing sleep lately, i guess..

—  or going insane.

“We’re going somewhere nice next week!”

You munched on your toast, eyes fixated on your phone. Mornings with Shoko were always eventful; once upon a sleepover when you both were 18, you woke up to Shoko completely awake, hugging a pillow, just.. looking right at you. It freaked you out to say the least, but you didn’t have time to react or even scream because even in that moment, Shoko is certain what she wants to do for the day.

“Do you want to skip school with me?”

You could even barely blink.

What you loved about your best friend is her skill to be able to specify plans. Whenever you were with her, you were always out. It wasn’t bothersome to you because you thought your dynamic is perfectly balanced, with you being introverted and Shoko being the best of both worlds. She isn’t the most sociable, but she’s way more sociable than you could ever be. She is your walking itinerary - your personal travel document. She’s always going somewhere, and she knows how to get there.

When you say you'd probably be found dead in a ditch somewhere without Shoko, you meant that.

“And where could that be?” You asked, slightly distracted, eyes scanning your SNS feed. You stumbled upon an exchange program advertisement and got curious.

Shoko took a sip of her coffee, eyes twinkling in excitement. “A close friend of mine from med school - who is, by the way, filthy rich - invited me to their staycation. I actually turned him down but he insisted, so I told him I have to bring my bestest friend in the whole world or I am not getting on that boat. He was more than happy to agree.”

You felt as though you got slapped. Glancing up from your phone, you barely managed to register her words before you were up yelling. “What?! I didn’t get to say yes!”

“Were you going to say no?”

“Well - Iei, I don’t know them!”

Shoko pouted, standing up to take her now empty “I Hate Mondays” mug to the sink for a wash. “That’s the whole point - you can get to know them! We won’t be alone with him.”

You almost fainted. “That’s even worse! Iei, You know I am the worst with people.”

Shoko turned around, mug still in hand, but is now covered in dishwashing soap. She sent you a disapproving look. “No you aren’t. You just choose not to mingle with people.”

Feeling defeated, you sat down in despair. You let out a groan, to which Shoko responded with a giggle. She turned to you with a reassuring smile. “C’mon, Y/N. I think this is the perfect opportunity for you to branch out and get out of your little shell. Of course, if you really don’t wanna go, I won’t force you. We can stay here in Tokyo and visit a lot of places. I just figured you’d want to get to know the friends I made here, too.”

You suddenly felt guilty. Taking a good look at Shoko (who’s still busy washing her mug), you realized that though she may look the same as before, for some reason, she looked somewhat… far. Living with Shoko means living with familiarity—like a mug of cocoa on Christmas Day when your parents would actually be home, and they’d prepare a simple dinner before exchanging gifts. Shoko felt exactly like that scenario.

She’s so familiar that somehow, along the way of basking into this familiarity and loneliness, you unconsciously blurred out her life. What did you even know about Shoko after you both went to college?

Of course you tell each other everything (with Shoko being more talkative than you are) but now, actually thinking deep about it, you realized how vague her stories have gotten; it’s almost full of “Here’s how my day went”, “I’m so tired!”, “I hate med school!”

You never dug deeper.

That’s why the last line of her reply struck you the most; because she’s Shoko, your best friend since forever, the one who witnessed you go through the horrifying consequences of transitioning to adulthood, the only person who you can call at 4 am when you’re in the middle of an academic breakdown or when you want to make a long commentary about the show you’re currently watching. Your person - and despite this, you never even bothered to ask if she had company. If she has made good friends.

Today, at 6 o’clock in the morning, with the sound of tap water running in the background and Shoko humming softly to a song, you realized how big the world has gotten.

It was no longer just Shoko and you.

“Yellow looks so good on you.”

You scowled, red hue rushing its way to your cheeks. “No, Shoko.”

You’re not sure how you got yourself in this situation - a happy Shoko swiping her cards left and right, hopping on every store she sees to “better prepare for the trip.”

An hour ago, you told Shoko you were going; but on one condition - you’d never go swimming.

It’s not as if you were the worst swimmer out there, it’s more of the fact that you never packed a swim attire. When you told Shoko, her eyes gleamed so bright you could mistake her for Christmas lights (and you know she’s just going to use your dilemma as an excuse to go shopping and splurge).

You never anticipated yacht parties and big pools and rich medical students on vacation, so hey, who could blame you?

You had agreed to go shopping for essentials; sunscreen, water bottles, blankets, towels..

..and yet you’re in a bikini shop.

“Oh please!” Shoko exclaimed, grabbing your shoulders to give you a playful shove, “I have seen you wear bikinis a thousand times, Y/N. And every time you do, you always rock it.”

You stuck your tongue out playfully, “That was years ago, Ie.” You snatched the clothing from her hand and quickly put it back in the rack. “Everything has changed.”

Shoko sent a playful look, “Oh really? I don’t know - you wanna show me?”

You rolled your eyes playfully and sighed. “You know what. I just wanna get this over with, so alright, I’ll take the yellow one.” You pulled your wallet out of your pocket just in time when Shoko suddenly ran towards the cashier at a fast pace.

“No, this one’s on me!”

"Shoko."

She continued to run, fully aware of the daggers you are shooting her way. You sighed, finally admitting defeat. "Fine, but the food's on me!"

Looking back at your pouting form, Shoko sent a playful wink and gave you a thumbs up, "You got it!"

You didn't know if it was all the shopping, or Shoko literally dragging you everywhere (maybe this was mostly it), but you suddenly felt sick. Not sick-sick, more like the idea of hopping onto a yacht for God knows how long with a bunch of people you completely do not know or have any history with finally sinking in, in the middle of a swimwear store.

Holy shit.

A million thoughts ran through your mind - as a socially-selective person, you honestly did not know how to prepare yourself for this trip. No amount of sunscreen and wine can prepare you for conversations, your number one enemy.

Despite the chaos in your mind, you remained seated, embodying the perfect image of a stone for being so still. Shoko seemed to notice, already crouching down to meet your gaze. She had a worried look on her face, an image you're all too familiar with.

"Hey," She spoke, hand coming up to poke your cheek. Your eyes instantly met hers, mustering a tiny smile to reassure her that you're dying inside okay.

You made a mental note to write cue cards and practice conversing with yourself in the bathroom back at Shoko's apartment.

Standing up, you let out a nervous chuckle to mask the fact that you are one second away from backing out of this rich friend-yacht-party rendezvous. "Alright, enough with shopping, please. You know I have a high metabolism, I think I burned half of my soul from all that walking."

Shoko rolled her eyes, a playful smile making its way to her cherry-red lips. "We literally went to three places, Y/N. One of them was the bathroom."

"That still takes up so much energy."

You both walked out of the swimwear shop (and finally, finally tasted true freedom) when Shoko grabbed your free hand, her playful smile turning to a grin so contagious you found yourself smiling too. "Why are you so smiley?"

You asked, and yet you knew. She shrugged, looking ahead. "This trip means a lot to me, and I know you aren't really built for things like these, so thank you for choosing to come and fighting the urge to finish the world war II documentary I know you've been watching. The urge is strong, I know; because you're a nerd."

You just smiled to yourself silently. She really knows you like the back of her hand; at the same time, you were creeped out - because you only really watched the documentary around 4AM when she was fast asleep on your shared bed.

A thousand walks later, you were finally the first one in line for a famous restaurant Shoko has been blabbering about for the past few days. At this point, you were finally convinced that your soul has finally transcended from all the waiting you'd done on behalf of your angry, frustrated best friend who kept complaining about how unfair the staff has been treating the customers. The truth is, you could have been inside thirty minutes ago if it wasn't for the rich-looking couple who obviously did not reserve a slot and lied about it to get ahead. What's worse is the staff not even sparing a glance, allowing them to walk inside.

Aside from waiting, you had also been suffering from secondhand embarrassment. Shoko, the ever-so-feisty one between the two of you, had been talking to the staff responsible for the reservation list. The more she got upset, the more her voice got louder, and you had to pull her back to remind her that you guys were in public.

"I swear," Shoko huffed, hands on her hips, rolling her eyes at the unbothered staff who clearly knew what he was doing, "I will rate this zero stars."

"That's mean." You uttered, pushing her back slightly. "It was just a person - the whole crew doesn't need to suffer from a negative review."

Pushing back, Shoko sent you a firm look (that did not even intimidate you; you think she only looked like an angry cat.)

"My legs are cramping, Y/N! I am wearing heels!" She whispered, pain laced in her voice. You laughed lowly, sending her a teasing smile. "You literally could've just sat on the waiting chairs."

"There were chairs?"

Before you could even let out a funny comeback (that you thought was genius), a deep voice spoke from behind you, the scent of wood sage and sea salt cologne coming off strong, almost making you feel dizzy from how strong it was.

That's when it started.

The loud, clicking sound; follows its own rhythm, getting louder and louder as the scent from behind you becomes stronger, filling your nostrils.

"Shoko?"

You turned around at the familiar tone, one that reminded you of train stations and parks.

You were meant to meet his eyes - the kind man who offered to walk to the park when you got lost. Toji, if you could recall well, was his name.

But you met someone else's gaze instead.

The clicking in your mind disappeared. It had turned eerily quiet, except for the low buzzing in your ears. It seemed as though the clicking faded out, like a countdown reaching its last number.

Somewhere in your mind, you could hear Shoko speaking, mixed with Toji's voice who kept calling your name.

But you were someplace else.

Somewhere blue.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

 𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓴𝓪𝓸'𝓼 𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓻!

hi everyone, it’s kao!

it has been mONTHS!!! i missed everyone on here so much!

thank you for all the kind words! even when I was away, I had been receiving messages and replies from my lovely readers. i got too busy juggling work and school and had literally zero time for my hobbies. you guys have no idea how much I missed writing!

anyway, i have been [secretly] writing chapters in my drafts just in case I finally found the time to proof-read them and finally publish it for you guys ˃̵ᴗ˂̵ but I had to focus on more important things for me this month, so I left these babies unpublished for the meantime. i wanted to make sure everything was perfect before publishing them!

but fear not my friends, i am [officially] back in business!! ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

as always, feedback/reblogging would me a lot to me! thank you for the small appreciation you guys have shown!  ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡

see u guys in chapter 07!

kao, out! ʚ♡ɞ

[dedeinthewild]

dede's promptlist💫

just some casual ideas to pick when requesting an imagine (you can totally write down requests that have nothing to do with this list)

most of these prompts are from @novelbear , and the ones you don't recognize are mine and my bsf's ideas :)

1- "if we were dating i'd take you to all the best places.." "what's stopping you?" "excuse me." 

2- “You see, I could never like think of them romantically. You know what I mean?” 

3- "i love you." "i know." "say it back!" 

4- “That was but a moment of weakness. Think nothing of it.”

5- buying matching jewelry, but it doesn't mean anything right?

6- “how are you so filled with energy early in the morning?”

7- "Sorry babe, I'll call you later. I'm at the hospital" "what?"

8- "Let me help you with that" "you literally don't know anything about this"

9- "I swear, it could seem like it, but it wasn't on purpose"

10- decorating the house while they're still asleep 

11- being able to laugh out loud

12- "am i too close?" "no! no, you're fine." 

13- "turn your music down, I can hear it blasting through your headphones, that's dangerous" "oh, it'll be fine"

14- "ice cream? a movie? hugs? what do you want? name anything." 

15- "you have a date? how much did you pay them?"

16- "what the hell did you think i meant by that?" 

17- "are you awake yet?" "no." "oh, okay sorry." 

18- "did you sleep well?" "mhm.." [tracing the mark with their hand] "i can tell." 

19- lifting the shorter one up so they can be seen in photos 

20- "i'm sorry did you just call my birthday my 'womb escape'??" 

21- an accidental first kiss 

22- "sit down."

23- "you think i'm avoiding you?" 

24- feeding them snacks from over your shoulder

25- sending each other little selfies or pictures throughout the day when they're apart 

26- "you're all mine, you got that? i'm not sharing." 

27- "i have sand. everywhere." 

28- piggy back rides when one gets tired from walking for so long 

29- “what do you think you’d be doing right now if we never met?” 

30- "accidentally" locking the other one out

31- watching their camera roll get full of the other as they spend more and more time together

32- "i didn't know we were at that stage already." 

33- “you still wear that little bracelet i made you?” “it’s like my good luck charm..” 

34- “so you know how i’m like-“ “absolutely embarrassingly in love with me? yes i’m familiar go on” “can you take anything seriously?” 

34- "let's dance under the rain" "what? no"

36- "you seriously just took a plane to hand me a pastry and tell me you love me?"

37- remembering little details about them

38-  “that was supposed to be me and you out there.” 

39-  “really? here? you couldn’t have told me under the stars or something?” 

40- “i’m so hot..” “loving the confidence.” “oh shut up.” 

41- "you're laughing at me.." [through laughter] "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm just horrible with small talk." 

42-  “pretend you don’t know me.” “i quite literally don’t.” 

43- “as much as i appreciate this random back hug, would you mind telling me who you are?” 

44- “Why didn’t you just tell me the old-fashioned way?” “I thought this was the old-fashioned way!” 

45- "would you kiss them?" "..." "there's your answer"

46- "she owes me five bucks."

As you can see I'm notoriously bad at prompt lists and things, so shoot your shot and send me your ideas if you'd like!

[yandere-mha-blog]

Part 11

Words: 2590

Both you and Keigo lay down some boundaries 

Keigo looked at his clock when he finally got home from his job, 12:30, and he still needed to wake up at 7:00 to get to his morning class at 8. He flopped down on his bed and took out the food he got for free from his job, perks he guessed.

He opened his phone and saw the selfie you two took together. Why did he post it online, he should have figured it out when you told him you didn't have any social media. Still, he shouldn't be too hard on himself, he knew he couldn't go back and unpost the photo.

He was just thankful that you did drop your Id in his car, if he hadn't headed back to your place to return it, who knew what your ex would have done?

And he found her because you posted the photo.

Keigo shook his head as he turned the tv on, he just needed some background noises.

Then his phone buzzed, he thought you would be texting him, but nope it was from Yuki.

“Hey Takami, can you help me?”

“What happened?”

“I went out to a mixer, but I'm feeling really drunk and the guy is acting weird.”

Now Keigo didn't like Yuki, but he didn't like what could happen to him if he didn't go.

“Send me your location, I'll come to get you.” he texted back as his phone pinged, he grumbled and grabbed his keys, and headed out the door. Man, he was tired.

He finally found the palace and walked in, Yuki was Waiting at the side, she looked relieved to see him.

“Keigo you are here,” she said and ran over and grabbed his arm in a hold.

“Hey, Yuki, who is your friend?” A guy asked,

“This is Keigo, he is a very close friend of mine, well I better get going home now, right Kei?”

Keigo forced a smile “Yup, come on Yuki let's get your drunk butt home.”

Keigo helped Yuki in the car as the guy looked at his friend

“She didn't even drink anything.” He said

“Eh, she was just a filler so there would be an even number.” He said “Probs just wanted a ride home. It was late.”

“True…you want to hit another bar before we go home.”

“Hell yeah dude,” he said and the two of them walked off down the street.

“Where is your place again?” Keigo said

“Oh, it's… hmm…”

“Yuki, Yuki, stay with me at your address.”

“It's around the school.’ She slurred out, Keigo smelled the air, there was no trace of alcohol on her lips, he sighed and pulled over “Huh what's going on?”

“Yuki, how many fingers am I holding up?” he asked and Yuki grabbed his hands

“You have nice hands.” She said

“Thanks, but you are avoiding the question, man your hands are really cold.” Keigo lied she felt warm

“Huh?”

“And a bit clammy,” he said as he continued to feel her hands, they were not

“Uh Keigo?” she said

“Crap, Yuki, how much did you drink!” he said in a panic, as he reversed “Don't worry i know a hospital around here.

“What are you talking about?” she said completely sober

“Confusion, low body temperature, clammy hands, and slurred speech.” Keigo mumbled, “Yup, it sounds like alcohol poisoning.”

“What?’ She said starting to get a little panicked

“Don't worry I know a hospital, just try to stay awake!” he said

“Keigo, calm down, I don't have alcohol poisoning.” She said and Keigo made a sudden stop and pulled over

“I know because you didn't drink did you,” he said

“Are you accusing me of-”

“Whatever you are about to say, yes,” Keigo said as he crossed his arms and narrowed his gaze

“Hey, I can explain.” She said

“What act drunk, pretend you can't remember your address so I have to take you to my place where you sober up,” he said, her eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights.

“Are you mad at me?” She asked

“Hmmm, no, annoyed, yes.” Keigo said “Look, just tell me your apartment address and I can drop you off. I have to wake up early and I am very tired.”

“...why don't you like me?” she asked “You were super friendly with me, then all of sudden you barely talked to me, I think I deserve an explanation.”

“Fine.” Keigo said, “ You bullied my friend back in high school, and made her cry.”

“(name)?” Yuki said, “hey I never bullied her!”

“Directly maybe, she told me you called her a drowned rat after your friends tossed water on her.”

“I don't remember saying that.” She said “And if anything in the victim her, her boyfriend -”

“Ex-boyfriend.” Keigo corrected her

“Whatever, she asked him to push two kids out the window and beat another one up so bad that his nose broke, and their teacher got so beat up he had to take a leave of absence till the year ended!” she babbled out “Next thing you know she is walking into class like she owns the place all smug.”

“I don't think you have the right to bring that up,” Keigo said

“Keigo, her boyfriend is a nutcase!”

“Ex-boyfriend.” Keigo corrected her again “Yuki, I wasn't there, so I can't know what actually happened, but from what (name) has told me vs what you have told me, I understand where (name) is coming from.”

“Oh, where could she possibly be coming from!?” Yuki yelled

“The only way for these people to leave me alone is to use extreme measures even if I don't like them.” Keigo replied, “Your entire class bullied her, she found someone who would make it stop.”

“You aren't making any sense.” She said

“You ever hear the saying ‘A cornered animal is almost as dangerous as a wounded one.’” Keigo said

“Huh?” she said and shook her head

“When an animal is hurt and backed into a corner it will bite.” Keigo said, “You and your classmates kept pushing and pushing and pushing, till she finally fought back and all of a sudden you are all the victims.”

“That's not what I'm….that isn’t what happened I didn't do anything,” she said

“Yuki put your address in, I'm done with this conversation, I'm tired,'' Keigo said she just slumped and put her address in.

Keigo finally got back home at 1:36, that was an hour and six minutes he was never getting back. He finally hit his head on the pillow when his alarm rang, he let out a groan of misery as he rolled out of bed and landed on the floor with a thud

“Ow…” he mumbled as he stumbled to his fridge and pulled out a can of coffee and chugged it down, he shook his head and went into the bathroom, and turned to shower.

“Aghhh it's cold, when is the landlord gonna fix the heating,” he grumbled as he got out and got dressed, he grabbed another can of coffee and a piece of bread, spreading some jam on it, he rolled it up, and stuffed it all in his mouth.

He ran to his car and got in driving to the parking garage, his class was starting and he ran to the back of the classroom.

Finally, it was over, now he just had to get to his next class that was across campus, he ran as fast as he could and opened the door.

“Ah, late again mister Takami.” The teacher said, “Why am I not surprised?”

“Sorry teach my bad,” Keigo said as he scanned the room and saw you in the back looking better rested, you saw him and you gave him a small smile, he went to the back and dropped his bag down.

“What did I miss?” he whispered

“We are finishing up proofreading our assignments and the format he wants.” you said “Revision, revisions, revisions.”

“Got it,” Keigo said

The two of you finally left class, he let out a yawn

“Long night?” you asked

“You could say that,” Keigo said

“Well you want to get lunch together today?” you asked

“I'd love to.”

“Great, I want to go to that vendor's stand again,” you said

“Sounds like a plan, I'll meet you by the fountain,” Keigo said

“Sounds like a plan,” you said and walked to your next class, Keigo looked at his watch and made a B-line for his next class, there was Yuki sulking when he walked in.

“Just ignore her.” Keigo thought as he sat down, but could feel her staring at the back of his head the whole class.

“Hey Takami.” she said “I wanted to say, I'm sorry, for lying and asking you to get me.”

“Do I really have to accept her half-hearted attempt at an apology?” he thought “just smile through the pain.”

“It's fine, but I don't think I'm not the one you should be apologizing to,” Keigo said

“You want me to apologize to (name)?” she asked

“No, I don't want you to.” Keigo said, “I think you should, but only because you feel bad about what happened, and not to appease me.”

“Well I was thinking about it, and I messed up back in high school, what you said about the dog being cornered, I think I went along with it because I didn't want to end up as the dog.”

“Well don't tell me that.” Keigo said, “Tell her.”

“I would but I don't know where she is,” Yuki said

“Follow me then.” Keigo said, “We are getting lunch after this.”

“You and (name)?” Yuki said

“Yup,'' Keigo said as he left and headed towards the fountain, you were completely sucked into a book.

“Hey (name)!” Keigo shouted and waved, you looked up and waved then looked a bit confused as Yuki was walking next to him

“Hey Keigo…and Yuki…” you said, the air felt so thick you could cut it with a knife and Keigo thought okay this may have been a bad idea

“(name), I wanted to apologize.” Yuki said, “I'm sorry for what I did in high school, so can we start over and maybe be friends?”

“Excuse me?” you said

“I said I was sorry for how I was in high school.” She said

“...I don't think I can forgive you.” you said ‘in fact, I don't think I can forgive and forget any of my classmates for what happened in high school.``

“But…I said I was sorry, I feel awful.”

“You should feel bad.” you said “I feel bad for how I handled it, and you don't have to forgive me for what I did, but I do not forgive you.”

“But..I wasn't even one of the bullies!” she interjected “Please i just want to put what happen in the past.”

“East for you to say.” you said and crossed your arms and started picking at your sleeve “You weren't the one who went home silently crying to yourself, hating everything about you and wondering, why they hate me.”

“You want to know why everyone hated you?” she said “You were such a stuck-up snobby little pompous- ugh even now you are acting like you know it all!”

You rolled your eyes, and looked at Keigo who looked regretful, you let out a sigh

“Yuki do me a favor and just don't talk to me anymore, just don't be in my life, I don't want anything to do with you, or what happened in high school.” you walked past Keigo

“I'm heading to lunch, feel free to join me alone.”

Yuki was left there stunned, her fist shaking “You see that's how she was, self-imposed, mightier than thou attitude!”

“Huh.” Keigo said as he walked after you, Yuki followed him “Keigo where are you going? You saw what she just did right.”

“Sure did,” Keigo said as he brushed her off as he hustled over to you. Yuki's face was red with anger as she stormed off.

“Care to tell me why you brought her,” you asked, yup you were mad

“I have a good explanation, but a long one.” Keigo said, as he then proceeded to tell a very long story about last night, and what happens in class “And that's the truth, sorry I wasn't thinking”

“...well you had my best interest in mind, so I can't be mad.” you said “But maybe Yuki has a point.”

“Hmmm no I don't think she does,” Keigo said 

‘No I am pretty…petty at times.” you said, “Maybe I should have just bitten the bullet and accepted her apology, but it wouldn't have felt right.”

“I envy that.” Keigo said “I wish I could be more blunt with my boundaries and feelings. Guess I have a tendency to tip tow around the issue.”

“I think we all do, to keep the peace.” you said, “you know me and Yuki were on the swim team together, I was always faster than her, I tried to give her some of my tips, but then she grew cold towards me, she probably thought I was nit-picking her.”

The two of you arrived at the stand

“Hey hawks, the usual for the two of you?” Aiko said,

“Yes please.” Keigo said, “And look you have every right to not forgive her, if you want someone who caused you a lot of pain in your life to not be in it, then so be it.”

“Thanks, Keigo, that means a lot to hear.” you said, “I have to get to my next class, but let's get lunch again sometime.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he said as you gave him a small smile and left.

Kiego took a bite from his food as he watched you walk off, he felt funny like his stomach was filled with static, his heart beating a little faster than usual. He shook it off as he made his way to his next class, it was just a study hall, he looked at his phone again and saw the selfie of the two of you, and there was that funny feeling in his gut again.

“Oh no.” he thought “Nope, nope, nope, we are not doing this, you hear me Keigo, you put those feelings away right now, she just got out of a horrible relationship and here you are catching feelings!”

He closed his phone and went back to his book

“I mean I'm sure the emotional  baggage from her other relationship is still heavy in the air, you shouldn't have to deal with that.”

Yuki's words rang in his head “More like she shouldn't have to deal with another shit-bag crushing on her, I've only recently learned how to be a semi-decent person, she shouldn't have to deal with my silly little emotions, especially since her ex literally stalked her down and forced his way into his apartment, and if he is as vengeful as (Name) says he is, I should keep my eyes out, all I can think of doing right now is just try to be a good friend, and get my shit together before I even think about how cute she is when she absorbed in a book, the way her eyebrows furrow when she reads a - AGHHH STOP IT!”

Meanwhile, Dabi was still sitting in the motel bathtub looking at some public records Kent found from searching, as annoying as he was, he sure was good at uncovering people's dirty little family secrets. 

[anglophiletraveler]

In My Life Chapter 28

Strawberry Fields Forever

By John Lennon

Thank you for your patience while the problem with the Archive website was taken care of.  I wanted to wait a bit before posting to see how other posts did.  Thank you once again to beta Karen Bockius and all of her support.

*****************

Ross’s warm body was wrapped around Demelza’s, his arm holding her into the curl of his body under a pile of blankets.  Ross’s body was telling him it was time to get up and go to the bathroom but he ignored it as long as he could, but he finally woke up enough to succumb to the call of nature.  His nose was nestled in Demelza’s hair near her ear, allowing him to breathe in the scent of her hair and the scent of her body after a night of lovemaking.  They had fallen asleep after making love at midnight, only to wake up later to satisfy each other again.   He gently laid a kiss on her head and slowly crept out of bed and covered her back up so as not to wake her.  He grabbed his phone and some clothes and quietly walked into the bathroom.  So far so good.  He saw on his phone that it was 8:30 in the morning and he knew that his parents were probably in the process of getting up if they weren’t up already.  Hopefully, he can shower and dress and make it downstairs without waking Demelza.  

Ross had noticed in the shower a few bite marks which made him smile.  He thought Demelza might have some as well.  After he dried off from the shower, he slipped on a hoodie in hopes of hiding the love bites from parental eyes  and slipped on some old jeans that were worn and comfortable.  He slipped on some old jeans that were worn and comfortable and took his socks and shoes downstairs thinking it would be easier to put them on down there.  He quietly opened the bathroom door and cursed to himself when the door creaked.  So far so good.  Demelza was still asleep.  He wondered if he should take Demelza’s phone so that it wouldn’t wake her. He had a feeling Caroline would  be texting her soon.   He decided to just turn it off and leave it.   He stopped to look at her face.  She looked so peaceful sleeping there.  He was thinking to himself that she looked more like Ariel from ‘The Little Mermaid’ rather than Snow White from ‘Sleeping Beauty’.  He finally made it out of the bedroom without disturbing Demelza.  Victory!

******************

Ross was putting on his socks and shoes when Seamus came into the living room for some attention.  “Hey boy, how was your night, eh?  I’ll take you outside as soon as I get my shoes on.”  Seamus barked his reply, “Shush!  Don’t wake up Demelza!”  Ross heard some noise coming from the kitchen so he went to check it out and found his father busy cooking.  

“Morning son. Happy New Year.”

“Morning papa. Happy New Year.  I’m just going to take Seamus outside for a bit.  Demelza is still sleeping upstairs.  I was going to let her have a lie in.  She kind of had a rough night at the party,” Ross explained.

Joshua’s eyebrows furrowed like Ross’s did, “At the party?  What happened?”

“I’ll tell you when I come back in, I want to get Seamus outside.  I won’t be long,” Ross said.

“You want some tea when you come back?”

“Yes, please.”  Ross put on his coat and headed outside with Seamus.  

The morning air was crisp and there were traces of a light frost.  The sun looked like it was trying to come out, but the typical British overcast was probably going to win out.  Seamus was enjoying running around the yard, nose to the ground pretending to be a bloodhound.  Ross was checking his phone for any texts or voicemails that he may have missed.  Just the usual New Year’s greeting from Verity with a selfie of her and Andrew at a party with party hats and drinking champagne.  Ross responded back, ‘Happy NY Cousin!  When do I get to meet this mystery man?  Luv u!’

“Seamus!  Get over here.  It’s freezing out here, let’s go inside.  Come on.  Come on Seamus!!”  Ross finally got the canine to go back inside to warm up.  He took off his coat and joined his father in the kitchen for some tea and breakfast.

“Oh wow, thanks.  I wasn’t expecting breakfast.  Is anyone else up?” Ross asked.

“No, just the two of us.  I will cook something for your mother and Demelza when they get up, so tuck in,” the elder Poldark said.

Ross started wolfing down his eggs, bacon and toast.  He rolled his eyes, “God this tastes so good!  Why does breakfast always taste so much better down here?” 

Joshua smiled, “It’s in the skillets.  I keep telling you that you need to invest in some good cast iron skillets.”  Joshua was enjoying Ross eat.  “So, what happened to upset Demelza at the party?”

Ross stopped eating, took a gulp of his tea and wiped his mouth.  “Her brother Luke was there.  He was part of the catering crew.  She hasn’t seen him in like eight years when she left home for uni.  She didn’t even recognize him at first.  He was serving in the buffet line, and this bloke said something like ‘hello Demelza’ and we all looked up, and she passed out for a second…”

“She passed out? Bloody hell!  Is she alright?” Joshua asked.

“Yeah, yeah, Dwight checked her out.  She was pretty shaken though, as anyone would be.  But then we couldn’t find the bloke.  She was starting to feel like she was seeing things.  Oh and, of course, Francis and Elizabeth and that bitch Ruth had to come over and stick their noses into things.”

“Blimey, what did those wankers want?  I’m surprised that they were even invited to the party!  Especially Ruth!”  

“I don’t know what the fuck they wanted.  Francis was alright I guess.  Elizabeth and Ruth were their usual annoying selves.  Of course I had to introduce Demelza to them.  I had forgotten that Demelza and Caroline had actually gone to uni with Ruth,” Ross was done with his breakfast so Joshua put a couple more eggs on Ross’s plate, which Ross gladly accepted.

Joshua looked like he was thinking about something.  Ross asked, “What?  What’s wrong?”

“Well, I got the strangest call late last night from Charles.  He invited all of us over today for a New Year’s lunch.  He even mentioned you and Demelza.  I was wondering how the hell he knew about Demelza, but it makes sense now.  They’re wanting to check out Demelza, or at least Elizabeth is.” Joshua surmised.

“What the hell?  What did you say to Charles?” Ross was getting upset.  The thought of going over to Trenwith and having lunch with that side of the family made him want to hurl.

“I told him thanks but no thanks.  Then he had to add that Agatha was begging and longing to see you because she hasn’t seen you for so long.  So I told him that we would have to talk about it and that I’d get back with him.  So, what do you think?  Sounds a bit dodgy doesn’t it?”  Joshua stole a piece of bacon from Ross’s plate.  Ross acted like he was upset with him for stealing his bacon.

“Yes, yes it does sound dodgy, but Charles knows how to throw in the sympathy card doesn’t he? The bloody wanker.  Oh, so I didn’t finish my story about Demelza’s brother.”  Ross finished his tea and Joshua poured him another cuppa.  “So Caroline found out that it was Luke Carne that was working for the caterer and managed to arrange a meeting for us.  So, the three of us met in Ray Penvenan’s study.  It was kind of awkward at first.”

Joshua was making some more toast, “I bet it was, especially if they haven’t seen one another for that long.  How did Demelza react?”

Joshua gave Ross another piece of toast, “Jesus, da, do you enjoy feeding me or what?  I’m totally full now!”  Joshua smiled.  “So, like I said, it was awkward at first but they started talking.  Turns out the poor kid got beatings like Demelza always did.  He asked Demelza if she still had scars like he did.  I felt so badly for the two of them.  I hope I never meet their father, because I’m pretty sure I will lose it with him.  And it was so weird watching the two of them interact with each other because Luke looks just like Demelza.  Anyway, the bloke hasn’t been in contact with their da for four years and reassured Demelza that he would never tell him anything about Demelza or where she’s living.  Oh my gosh da, I am so full now!” Ross chuckled.  “So what are you going to tell Charles?”

“About what?” Joshua and Ross turned to see Grace standing behind them.  

Joshua got up and held out a chair for, “Good morning my love.  Come have a sit with us.  Can I get you a cuppa?”

“Thank you, and yes please.”  Grace looked a little weary, like she didn’t have a peaceful night of sleep.  Joshua set her tea down for her.  “So what’s this about Charles?”

“Remember, I got that phone call from him last night asking if we could all come over for lunch today?” Joshua said.

Grace blew into her tea a bit, “Oh yes, that’s right.  She mentioned something about Agatha wanting to see Ross.”

Ross grabbed his mother’s hand and smiled at her, “Morning mama.  How are you feeling?”

Grace smiled at him, “Oh I’m alright.  I didn’t sleep very well, so I’m still a little tired.  Where’s Demelza?”

“She’s still in bed.  She had a rough night as well, so I’m letting her get caught up on some rest.” Ross explained to Grace.

Joshua sat down.  “Are you hungry, love?  I can fix you something to eat?”

“No thank you.  Well, maybe some toast might be good,” She answered to Joshua.  He smiled at her and got up to make her toast.  “So has there been a decision made about going over there for lunch?”

Ross passed the butter and jam down to his mama, “No, we were just getting to that.  We thought it felt a bit dodgy, and that they might be just trying to check out Demelza.  I know Aunt Agatha isn’t part of it.  It has been a while since I’ve seen her, but can’t she come over here for lunch or supper later on?  Do we have to go to Trenwith to see her?” 

Grace looked up at Joshua as he came over with her toast, “I just don’t know how well she is getting around.  And I know that I’m not going over and risk being around people that might be sick.  My oncologist warned me against that very strongly.”

“That is true,” Joshua added.

“I hadn’t thought about that.  Should Demelza and I be wearing masks?  We will if you want us to,” Ross offered.

“Absolutely not.  I am not having the two of you wear masks.  I wear one if I have to get out, but I don’t want you worrying about it.  Joshua, why don’t you call Charles and explain the situation about my cancer and that I am not allowed to go visiting.  Hopefully that will get Demelza and Ross out of going as well.  My cancer should be a good excuse for not seeing those people.” Grace joked.

Joshua was nodding, “I think that’s a good way to go about it.  Then Ross, if you want to see your Aunt Agatha, maybe you and Demelza could stop over there on your way out of town.  That way you’re not exposing your mother to anything.”  Joshua looked at his watch, “Charles should be up by now, I think I’ll go call him.  Ross I’m leaving the cast iron skillet in your care in case your mother or Demelza want some breakfast.”  Joshua bent over to kiss his wife and then headed into the library to call his brother.

Ross was shaking his head, “Sounds like a plan to me!  So, besides not sleeping, how are you feeling, mama?”

“Oh, I’m fine, handsome.  Oh, by the way, Happy New Year’s!  Did you and Demelza have a good time at the party?  She looked gorgeous last night.”

“Oh it was alright.  I was just telling papa that we ran into Demelza’s brother Luke.  They haven’t seen each other in years. Oh and yeah, we also ran into Francis, Elizabeth and Ruth.  That was strange.”

“Well, did the two of you do any dancing at all?  There was an orchestra or a DJ wasn’t there?  Please tell me that you danced with Demelza and didn’t just stand around talking all night!” Grace asked.

“Of course we danced!  We danced a couple of times!”

“Well it's good to know that all of those dance lessons didn’t go to waste.  Do you two have plans for today?” Grace asked.

“Nope, no plans.  I know Demelza will want to practise, but other than that just spending time here with you and papa.  Maybe go for a walk.   I think it’s definitely going to be a lazy, lay around kind of day.  Are you hungry?  I can cook you some eggs?” Ross asked his mother.

“Oh, I think I’ll just stick with this toast for now, but thank you.”

“Would you be up for a walk in a little bit?  Just the two of us?” he asked

“Um yeah I think so.  Give me a little bit to get my meds in me and get my balance, and I think that will be nice.  Just the two of us.”  Grace smiled at her son, wondering what he had on his mind.

Just then Ross got a text from Demelza.  He texted her back saying that she could come down for breakfast when she’s ready.  “Well, Demelza is up.  I told her to come down when she’s ready.  She also wants me to take her cello upstairs so that she can practise.  So I’m going to go do that and then I’ll be back down.”  Ross smiled at his mum and gave her a kiss on the cheek and headed to the library.

**********************

Ross opened the door to the bedroom carefully in case Demelza wasn’t dressed yet.  He heard the shower so he knew it was safe to go in.  He set the cello in the corner and headed into the bathroom.  

“Morning babe!  I brought the cello up.  Looking at you in the shower makes me feel like I need to jump in and join you,” Ross said.

Demelza looked confused, “I thought you already had your shower.”

“I did, but carrying your cello up the stairs made me sweaty all over!” Ross smiled.

Demelza laughed, “You goofball!  I thought you were going to make me breakfast!”

Ross sighed, “Alright.  But only because I love you.  Eggs and bacon?”

“Yes please.  I’m almost done here.  I’ll be down soon.”  She leaned over to give him a wet kiss.  “Oh and toast please!”

*******************

Ross placed a platter of bacon and eggs on the table while the bread toasted.  There was more water heating up for tea.  “Mama, shouldn’t you eat something besides toast, hmmm?  How about an egg?  I fixed plenty.” Ross said.

“Oh I suppose you’re right.  I’ll have an egg and another piece of toast when it’s ready.”

Demelza walked into the kitchen, “Good morning everyone!  Grace, how are you?” She proceeded to sit down and fill up her plate.

Grace took note of the amount of food that Demelza put on her plate, “Good morning Demelza.  I’m well thank you.  How are you this morning?  Did you sleep well?” asked Grace.

“Oh yes I did thank you.  The mattress is really very comfortable.”  Ross set the toast down next to the butter and jam and served up more tea for everyone before sitting down.  He picked up Demelza’s hand and kissed it.  

Grace was smiling while she watched them. “It’s a relatively new mattress, only a couple of years old so it’s still in good shape.  Ross, how old is your mattress?” the mother asked her son.

Ross looked at his mum at the strange question, “Um, I don’t know.  That’s a rather odd question don’t you think?”

“Well it’s something to think about.  Mattresses don’t last as long as they used to.  You are used to it, but maybe Demelza feels differently about it.”  

Ross was looking at his mum, then looking at Demelza, then looking back again at his mum.  “Um, wellll, Demelza do you find our mattress uncomfortable?”

“Well, actually Ross, it is kind of lumpy on my side.”  Demelza looked at Grace as Grace winked at her.

Ross was shaking his head, “Why do I feel like there’s a conspiracy going on against me all of a sudden?  I really wanted the two of you to get along, but I didn’t realise that you would be ganging up on me!”  Grace and Demelza both started laughing.  

Joshua walked in, “What’s going on?  Did I just walk in on a joke or something?”  And that made Grace and Demelza laugh even more.

“Don’t worry father, I think the joke is on me.  There’s more tea if you’d like some.” Ross offered his father.

“Well it’s always good to walk into a room full of laughter.  It’s a lovely sound indeed.  So, I just got off the phone with Charles and I explained the situation to him about your cancer and he agreed  we should stay home, but they look forward to seeing Ross AND Demelza on their way out of town.“

Demelza was buttering her toast, “What’s this about?  Who is Charles?” She was asking Ross.

“Charles is my uncle, father’s brother.  Verity and Francis’s father.  He had phoned papa last night asking us to come over today for a New Year’s luncheon.”  Ross explained.

Demelza took a drink of her tea, “And are we to go?”

Joshua spoke up, “No.  Ross didn’t want to go and I don’t blame him with Francis and Elizabeth hanging about, so we made the excuse, and well it is the truth, that with Grace’s cancer she isn’t to go out and about because of the possibility of catching a cold, or something else contagious.  However, my sister Agatha who also lives at Trenwith, and who adores Ross, is asking to see him.  It has been quite a while since Ross has seen her, so you two will need to stop by Trenwith and pay her a quick call on your way out of town.  That is if you don’t mind Demelza?”

“Oh, no I don’t mind.  Ross should see his aunt if he hasn’t visited her in a while.  Is she alright? I mean health-wise.” Demelza asked.

“Oh she’s perfectly fine.  She’s never married and has insisted that she stay put in the family estate.  She’s older than Charles and me and she feels that it’s her right to live there.  And, I agree, although I’ve offered her to live with us because of the way they treat her over there.” Joshua explained.  

Ross looked at Demelza, “You’ll love her.  She’s such a hoot!  A real spit-fire and never afraid to speak her mind!” Ross was smiling.

“That’s Agatha for you.” Grace added.

“Well, I hope that she likes me,” said Demelza.

Ross squeezed Demelza’s hand, “I’m sure she will, love.  And with any luck, Francis and Elizabeth won’t be there. So da, Charles didn’t know about mama’s cancer?” Ross asked.

“Ah no.  Your mother didn’t want anyone knowing until we finally told you.  We only told Jud and Prudie of course, and Zacky because he was helping out with the new bathroom.”

“Bullocks.  I’m sure he will bring that up to me when we are over there.  Oh well.  Now, I am going to do these dishes and Demelza, you can go up and practise when you’re done eating, and then later, mama and I are going to take a short walk.”

Joshua looked at Grace, “A walk?  Are you up for that?”

“Oh yes Joshua.  I’m fine.  Don’t fuss.  And look, the sun looks like it’s trying to peak out from under the clouds.  But if you’re looking for something to do, my love, you can help Ross with the dishes!” Grace smirked at Joshua while he growled.

“Oh da, when do you want to work on those fence posts?  Are Jud and Prudie coming over this weekend at all? Ross asked.

“No, we told them to take some time off.  But if you’re available tomorrow, you and I could probably get a lot of those posts done.   Truth is son, Jud and Prudie haven’t been much help lately.  Jud tries his best, but his back really bothers him, and Prudie is, well Prudie!  She does help your mother with the cooking, but her cleaning leaves a lot to be desired even more than before!  It’s a quandary, because now with your mothers’s illness we are finding that we need their help more and more, but they’re getting up in years and their health isn’t the best either.”

Ross looked at his parents in a different light.  He’s never thought of them as old, and they really weren’t, but they do need to slow down even if it’s just temporary because of mama’s cancer.  He could see where making a decision about Jud and Prudie is going to be difficult for them.  Living in London he wasn’t sure what he could do to help his parents during this time besides an occasional weekend.  

“Are you thinking it’s time for Jud and Prudie to retire, or at least go into part time retirement?” Ross asked.

Grace looked at Joshua’s worried face.  She knew the decision was coming soon, but with her health issues right now it just didn’t seem possible.  But at the same time, she worries about her husband doing too much.

Demelza spoke up, “if Jud and Prudie were to go into at least semi-retirement, then that would give you the excuse to hire the help that would be really helpful around Namapara with the farm portion and the house with cleaning and cooking meals ahead of time for you.  Ross and I can come down on weekends more often to help out, Ross probably more than me since my schedule with the orchestra is going to start getting busy again.  But I’m more than happy to help with what I can.”

Grace smiled at Demelza and grabbed her hand tenderly.  “You’re so sweet to say that.  I know that you and Ross are busy and have your own lives.  And London is so far away.  Joshua and I just appreciate a visit every now and then.  Besides, you have that big recording coming up soon.  You shouldn’t do anything to jeopardise that.  Joshua and I will be fine.  People are always looking for work, so it shouldn't be too hard to find someone part time.  Now, why don’t you head upstairs and practise, and Ross you get the dishes going so that we can go for our walk.  I’m going to go get dressed.”  Grace stood up and kissed Demelza on her head of red hair and went to her bedroom.

Joshua looked at Ross and Demelza and smiled, “Well, your mother has given us our marching orders.  We best get to it!”

********************

Grace and Ross stepped out the front door to begin their walk.  They were able to hear Demelza playing the cello even from outside.  “Well that’s a nice sound to hear outside,” Grace said.  She took Ross’s arm to keep her steady and to help her feel close to her son.  

“Yes, I’m surprised that we can hear it. I enjoy going to the orchestra more and more and watching her in her element.  But I really love listening to just her play at home.  I don’t know how to explain it, you know the feeling I get from it.  It’s like it kind of grounds me almost.  I don’t know, it probably sounds stupid.”

“No Ross, it doesn’t sound stupid at all!  You’re in love with her, and she with you.  That extends through her music to you.  It probably feels like a warm hug, or a cup of hot cocoa.”

“Yeah, yeah that’s exactly it.  Demelza is not like any woman I’ve ever dated before.  She’s so sweet and caring.  She’s innocent but at the same time her background has forced her to grow up at a young age.  I love her so much, and it all happened so quickly.  I’m so fecking scared that I’m going to screw it up and lose her.”

“You can’t let that happen Ross.  You have to take care of her and her love for you.  You have to nurture your relationship and protect it against everything, like you’re in a war and there’s no way that you’re going to let the enemy cross the frontline.”

“The enemy?”

The mother and son stopped walking.  Grace wanted to look Ross in the eye.

“Yes.  Don’t work too much that you’re never home, don’t take her love for you for granted, support her in her endeavours, and above all, stay away from people like Elizabeth and Ruth.  Don’t let your old feelings for Elizabeth ever cloud your judgement for Demelza.  I don’t trust that woman even after all these years.  She’s the kind of woman that likes to stir up trouble just for fun.” Grace warned.

“I won’t ever let that happen mama.  I don’t even like to see her like last night at the party.  It’s all I could do not to slap her across the face.  Hopefully Francis can keep her happy enough that she won’t think about me.”

“Well, you can be sure if that marriage ever goes south, she’s going to come looking for you.  Let’s go sit over there on that rock, I have something to show you.”  Grace pointed over to a large boulder that Ross and Claude used to play on when they were boys.  It was the perfect spot to sit and talk.  

“Are you feeling alright?  Do you need to go back to the house?” Ross asked his mother.

“Oh no, not just yet.  We can rest here for a moment.  I have something for you.”

Ross wondered what his mother could have for him.  He didn’t see her bring anything and she wasn’t carrying anything.  Grace reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, blue velvet box and held it in her hand.

Ross knew exactly what it was.  “Mama.  Your original engagement ring!”  He took the box and opened it to reveal an engagement ring with one larger diamond set in the middle with five smaller diamonds on either side in a row set in the band.  It wasn’t the most expensive ring in the world, very modest compared to today’s standards.  The middle stone wasn’t even a half carat.  But Ross had always loved it and admired it on his mother’s hand.  When he was a boy he used to twirl it on her finger, and hold her hand up to watch it sparkle.  To that little boy it was the biggest diamond in the world.  Years later, Joshua had given her a ring with a much larger diamond with sapphires around it when the business was established and he could afford something else for his bride.  But Ross had always hoped to give his bride mama’s original ring when he proposed.  Elizabeth would have nothing to do with the modest ring which was the beginning of the end for the couple.  But he knew that Demelza would love it because of the meaning behind it.  She didn’t need a vulgar diamond ring.  

Grace smiled at the expression on her son’s face.  “I want you to take it so that you have it with you whenever you decide the moment is right.  I know that Demelza will appreciate it and love it like I did.  Give it to her with my blessing.”  She had tears streaming down her face now, and when Ross looked up at her, he was crying as well.  

“Oh mama.”  Ross was choked up and could barely speak.  “She will adore it.  I know she will.  I love you so much mama.  I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you.”

“Oh goodness, don’t go down that path!  Happy thoughts baby, happy thoughts only!  I’m going to be around a long time to play with all of those grandkids that you’re going to give me!”  She noticed Ross’s expression change, his eyebrows telling on him.  “What is it?  What’s wrong?”

Ross let out a big sigh, “I’m not sure if Demelza wants to have kids.  None of our friends have kids yet, but I get the feeling whenever she sees one that she isn’t crazy about the idea.  She’s never talked about having kids.”

“Well Ross, you have to talk to her about it.  It’s not like back in my day when women were always assumed to want children and had them whether or not they did.  She has a career, a wonderful career and she might not want children.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.  Not to mention that she raised her six brothers.  I’m sure that’s had an effect on her as well.  I don’t know what to do if she says that she doesn’t want children.  I really want to be a father.  Do I just hope that she’ll change her mind?”

“Ross, promise me that you’ll talk about this.  Start the conversation in the car on the drive back to London.  There’s nothing better than a good talk in the car.  If she’s adamant that she doesn’t want children, then you have to decide if you can see a future with just the two of you together.  Alone, without children.  You can’t just hope that she’ll change her mind.  Do you love her enough, to marry her, have a future with just her for the rest of your lives without children?”

Ross was very quiet and stared off into space as if he was looking for an answer.  “Wow.  Well, this has all been a downer.  I’ve always dreamed of  bringing my children here to Nampara and watching them run around the yard playing with Seamus.  I’ve always wanted to name my daughter after you.”  He looked at his mum again with a small smile on his face.  

“I’d like that.” Grace said.  “And it might all happen.  Don’t give up on your dream just yet.  You just need to talk about it with Demelza.”

The mother and son were hugging again.  “I love you Ross.  With all my being.”

*************************

Joshua had been watching the scene from the kitchen window, keeping an eye on his wife.  He didn’t realise that the cello music had stopped and Demelza was now standing next to him.

“That’s a lovely picture.  A son and his mum sittin, chattin,” Demelza observed.  Demelza actually raised her phone up and zoomed in to take a picture of the two.

Joshua snapped out of his thoughts, “Oh hi there.  Yes, it is a lovely picture.  The two of them are very close.  They share a great deal.  Does that bother you?” He asked Demelza.

“No, I don’t think so.  It’s not somethin that I’ve ever had in me life since me own mum died, so it’s just different than what I’m used to.  I would never begrudge him his relationship with his mum, or with you.  The only really close relationship that I’ve had besides me brother Drake is Caroline.  She’s the closest I’ve ever had to a sister, and sometimes a mum.  It was that hard moving out of the house after all of those years of living together.  But we still see each other and of course call.” 

Joshua smiled at Demelza and put his arm around her shoulders, “You know what I think?  I think my son has finally found a lovely woman to spend his life with, and I couldn’t be more excited.  You just think of Grace and I as your parents if you’d like.”

“Oh my goodness, way to make a lass cry!” Demelza was wiping a tear away from her eye.  

****************************

It was late Sunday morning and soon Ross and Demelza would be heading back to London.  The day before, Ross and Dwight had helped Joshua with the fence posts and were able to get that chore done.  So now the sheep had a wider parcel of land to roam.  Demelza had gotten on her hands and knees and cleaned all of the bathrooms in the house which desperately needed it.  And even Caroline had pitched in and had gone through the fridge and thrown away the food that had expired and cleaned the shelves.  When Caroline was done with that, Demelza continued her cleaning frenzy and had scrubbed the kitchen floor.  It actually looked like a new floor by the time she was done.   Grace helped fold sheets and towels while sitting down after they had been washed and hung outside.  They have a clothes dryer, but Grace remarked that she loved the smell of clothes drying on the line.  By the time they were done, the house not only looked sparkling clean, but smelled like it as well.   Then they all collapsed after Joshua went out and brought home three large pizzas and some beer.  

Joshua raised a beer to make a toast, “I’d like to thank you Dwight and Caroline for your help today, and also to Ross and Demelza for your help as well.  It has meant a lot to Grace and I.  I feel better going forward now with Grace’s treatment and her illness.  I can devote more time to her and her needs.  Cheers!”

“Cheers!” said everyone.

“I’m just glad that Ross called us and  asked us to come over for help.  We had no idea that you and Grace were going through such a rough time.  Caroline and I were more than happy to help,” Dwight said.

“And Uncle Ray said that anytime you need some extra help he would be glad to send over some of the men that work on the estate to help you out.” Caroline added.

“That’s very kind of you and Ray,” Grace said.  “You and Demelza did such an awesome job here in the house.  I’m sure that Prudie will wonder what happened when she comes back Monday morning!”

“She’s going to think she stepped in the wrong house!” Ross joked.  “But mama you really need to make her do more around here.  It’s a big home and she needs to step up, and if she can’t do it, then you need to think of hiring someone else part time.”

“I think we are definitely going to have to talk to Jud and Prudie about either retiring or going down to part time.  They do have a decent pension that I’ve paid into all of these years for them.”  Joshua said.

“And who knows, maybe they are wanting to step away from some of their duties if not all,” Dwight said.  “This just might be the push they need to take care of themselves.”

Joshua nodded, “You could be right about that Dwight.”

**************************************

Ross had loaded the luggage and cello into the car.  Seamus was running around the yard sensing that something was going on.  Demelza was inside having one last cup of tea with Grace and Joshua.

“Well, Demelza I bet by the next time you visit us, you’ll have your driver’s  licence and will be in the driver’s seat!” Joshua teased.  Joshua had taken Demelza out for some driving lessons without Ross, which seemed to go much better.

“Judas, I wouldn’t bet too much money on that if I were you.” Demelza joked.

“Oh you did fine when I took you out.  You just need more practise.  Ross will have to take you out of the city and let you take the wheel.”  He leaned over and gave Demelza a kiss on her head.  

“You can do it Demelza, I have faith in you!” Grace added.  “Oh and don’t forget to send us your performance schedule so that we can plan a trip around it!.”

“Alright I will.  I’m feeling a little sad that we’re leaving!  I’ve really enjoyed my time here. I know Ross has too.”

“Awww, we’ve enjoyed having you!”  Grace pulled Demelza in for a tight hug.  “You call me anytime you need to talk about anything, okay?  I would love to hear from you.”

Demelza shook her head, “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Ross walked in the front door smiling at the scene in front of him, the woman that he loved with his parents.  He was so happy that they all got along.  The visit started out bumpy, but now that Grace’s illness was out in the open, Ross felt better about things.  He looked at Demelza with her arm wrapped around his mum.  “Are you crying Demelza?”

“No!  Well, maybe a little.  Don’t make fun of me!”

“I’m not, love.  I hate leaving as well.  But we better get going since we have to stop by and see Aunt Agatha,” Ross said.

 Joshua gave Ross a hug, “Well, be sure to let us know how that all goes.  I’m sure Elizabeth and Francis will be there if they know you’re coming.”

“Oh I’m sure they will be, but we won’t pay them no mind will we Demelza.  Mama please keep us informed about how you’re feeling and how your treatment is going.  And remember we aren’t that far away.  If you need us, just call and we will be down in a jiffy.”  Ross hugged his mother.

“Oh don’t you worry, I'm going to be just fine.”  Grace started crying.  “Now you two get out of here before I really lose it!”

They all hugged one last time and said their goodbyes.  Everyone was emotional at the parting.  All Ross could think of was that he hoped that this wasn’t the last time that he would see his mother alive.

****************************

“Judas Ross!  This is your family’s home?!!”  Demelza was looking up at Trenwith as they pulled in the long drive.

“This is it.  This is where my father grew up and his father before him, and his father before him.  Uncle Charles still lives here with Francis, Elizabeth and Aunt Agatha.  Fortunately for Verity, she moved out about a year ago.”

“Did you spend much time here while growing up?” Demelza asked.

“Oh I guess quite a bit when we were younger.  Charles didn’t let Francis and Verity come over to ours very often.  And we had a lot of holidays here.  They do Christmas up big here.  I’m going to put Seamus on a leash.  I’m sure Charles won’t appreciate him coming into the house, but I’m not going to leave him in the car.”

“Oh, right.�� I take it they don’t like pets.”

“Nope, only well behaved children are allowed.” Ross joked.

Ross rang the doorbell as they all waited for the door to be answered.  Finally the door opened, “Master Ross! It’s been so long since we’ve seen you!  Come in, come in!  Your Aunt Agatha has been waiting for you.”

Ross gave Mrs. Tabb a hug, “Mrs. Tabb it’s good to see you.  May I introduce my girlfriend Demelza.  Demelza, this is Mrs Tabb.  Mrs. Tabb has run this household like a five star general for as long as I can remember, and always made sure that I had as much cookies and candy as I wanted when Uncle Charles wasn’t around!  And this here is Seamus.  We brought him down for the weekend with us.”

“Oh your Uncle Charles won’t like that, but he’ll get over it.  Demelza, it’s lovely to meet you.  Please come in and I’ll take your coats.”

Demelza started taking her coat off, “It’s wonderful to meet you Mrs Tabb.  You’ll have to fill me in on what Ross was like as a boy.”

“Oh you’ll be here all night if we get started on that.  Ross, your aunt and uncle are in the drawing room.”

Ross had a big grin on his face watching Mrs. Tabb.  She was always such a joy to be around when he was young.  “Are Francis and Elizabeth here as well?” Ross asked.

Mrs. Tabb rolled her eyes, “Aye, they’re skulking around here somewhere.”

“Do I hear my nephew?”  An older female voice was heard.

“You two best be going, before she pops a vein!”  Ross snorted accidentally at Mrs. Tabb, and tried to control his laughter. 

Ross grabbed Demelza’s hand, and held Seamus tight  on his leash in the other.  Their steps on the hardwood floors echoed throughout the downstairs.  Demelza couldn’t help looking around at all of the ancient portraits up on the walls as they walked into the drawing room. There were chandeliers hanging all over it seemed.   Demelza noticed a huge fireplace that was tall enough that Ross could probably stand in it if it wasn’t for the fire that was burning in it.  Surprisingly, some of the furniture looked fairly modern and new.  Demelza finally saw a woman that she surmised was Aunt Agatha sitting in a large wingback chair. She was dressed comfortably in a pair of blue dress pants, and a light blue cardigan over a white blouse.  

“Well, if it isn’t my long lost favourite nephew.  And look at this beautiful bud he’s brought me.” 

Ross laughed with a devilish smile, “Hello Aunt Agatha.  I’m sorry that it’s been so long since I’ve visited.”  He bent over to kiss her on both cheeks. Allow me to introduce my…”

“Fiance?” Aunt Agatha interrupted.

Ross looked quickly at Demelza who had a smile on her face, and looked back at Agatha with a raised eyebrow.  “Girlfriend!  Aunt Agatha this is Demelza, Demelza this is my Aunt Agatha.”

Demelza extended her hand, “It’s very nice to meet you.  Ross has told me a lot about you.”  Demelza’s eyes were sparkling as if she had flipped a switch to make them sparkle more than usual.

Agatha gave Demelza a firm handshake which Demelza took note of.  “Well, aren’t you a brilliant, shiny bud!  Has my Ross been treating you well, and spoiling you?”

“Yes ma’am, ev’ry chance he gets,” said Demelza.

Ross and Demelza’s heads turned towards a bellowing voice, “Ross!  So good of you to grace us with your presence.  I assume that you’re the owner of this beast.”  Ross gave Demelza a side eye.

Ross held out his hand, “Hello Charles, how are you? And yes, this beautiful dog is ours.  His name is Seamus.  Charles, I'd like to introduce you to Demelza. Demelza, this is my Uncle Charles.”

Demelza held out her hand and Charles just looked at it.  He finally shook her hand.  “It’s nice to meet you sir,” Demelza said.

“Yes.  Well you two have a seat, and keep that mut away from me.”  Seamus barked once at Charles which made Agatha laugh.  

“Bring him here Ross,” Agatha said.  Ross walked Seamus over to Agatha and she held out her hand so he could sniff her.  “That’s a good boy.  You’re awfully pretty.  Yes you are!”

Ross sat on the end of the loveseat closest to Agatha so that she could pet him.  Demelza was giggling, “Seamus likes you.  He’s a good dog.  He welcomed me with open paws when we first started dating.”

“Ross, I was sorry to hear about your mother’s illness.  We had no idea until Joshua called me the other day and told me,” Charles said.

Ross’s face changed expressions, “They haven’t been telling a lot of people.  Demelza and I just found out this weekend as well, so don’t take offence.”

Agatha looked at Ross, “Is your mother undergoing treatment?  It sounds like it was caught early.”

Ross cleared his throat.  He wasn’t comfortable talking about his mother’s illness just yet.  Demelza noticed his difficulty so she answered Agatha’s question.  “She has been undergoing treatment.  But it sounds like she’s going to have a double mastectomy so that there’s less chance of recurrence.  She’s doing pretty well actually.  She just gets tired every once in a while from the medication, and she has a kip.  Then she’s back up, raring to go.  Prudie’s been doing most of the cooking.”

“Prudie?!  Ross, don't tell me your parents still keep around that set of wastrels?  Those two are nothing but useless!” Charles growled about the Paynters.

Ross took offence at Charles’ tone concerning Prudie and Charles.  “Charles I really don’t see how  any of that is your concern.  Jud and Prudie are family and papa is not just going to turf them out.”

Charles scoffed at Ross, “How is your job going at the bank?”

“Very well.  I enjoy working there.  I’m hoping to soon be working in the charity division and out of the mergers and acquisitions.” Ross said.

“Charity!  Why would a bank have a charity division?  That sounds pointless to me.  You should have stayed in Cornwall and worked for me alongside Francis.” 

Ross rolled his eyes, “No thank you Charles, I’m very happy where I’m at.  You can deal with Francis’ shenanigans on your own.  I have no desire to be a part of that mess.”

Agatha laughed, “You got that right Ross.  From what I hear, Francis is gambling away his inheritance anyway.  At this rate, Elizabeth will have to stop getting her weekly mani pedis!”  Agatha looked at Demelza, “You’re awfully quiet over there bud.  Do you work at the bank with Ross?”

“Oh no, not me.  I leave that type of work to Ross.  I’m a musician.” Demelza answered.

Agatha leaned forward, “Really?  What instrument do you play?”

Ross started to answer and Agatha held up her hand to stop him.  Demelza looked at Ross, then Agatha.  “I play the cello and the piano.  I’m a member of the BBC Orchestra.” Ross could see the blush come over Demelza’s face.  She wasn’t used to telling anyone about her position with the orchestra.  

“My, my.  Charles, we have an artist amongst us.”

“Elizabeth plays the harp,” Charles interjected.

“Oh Charles come now.  Elizabeth hasn’t played the harp in years.  The thing is covered in dust!” Agatha told him.

Ross couldn’t help the smirk on his face.  

“Ross, we still have that piano in the music room.  Maybe Bud would like to give us a treat?” Agatha asked.

“Oh, I’m afraid I don’t play piano that often.  I really just give lessons.  I just have a keyboard at home.” Demelza was desperately trying to get out of playing.

Ross gave Demelza the puppy dog face that she could never resist.  He even started whining, and then Seamus started whining.  

“Judas Ross!  Oh alright, maybe I can remember some Christmas music.”

*************

The four of them and Seamus walked into the music room.  Demelza noticed the harp in the corner covered up by a dust cloth.  Then she saw the baby grand piano.  She wondered if it was even in tune.  

Demelza asked, “Who is the one in the family who plays?”

Charles said in a soft voice, “My wife played before she passed.  Verity used to play.  I doubt if she still does.”

Demelza raised the lid of the piano, and pulled out the bench seat, then opened the music rack and fall board that covered the keys.  She looked in the bench seat for any sheet music that she might recognize and picked out a piece and sat down.

 She got herself comfortable on the seat and familiarised herself with the pedals.  Demelza began to play, timidly at first and then more confidently as she went on.  Ross, Charles and Agatha all sat down to listen.  The tune seemed familiar to Ross but he wasn’t sure why that was.  Demelza only made a few mistakes, but for the most part she played beautifully.  Ross was watching her facial expressions.  They were different from when she played the cello, but you could see the music flowing through her when she played.  Soon Mrs. Tabb came in to see who was playing.  Ross noticed her looking at Charles.  His face looked sad, and he thought he saw a tear in one of Charles’s eyes.  Ross wondered what was going through his mind.  Then he saw Francis and Elizabeth walk quietly into the room.  Francis was staring at Demelza play with a tear in his eye.  You could’ve heard a pin drop when Demelza finished playing.  She looked around at everyone and noticed the sombre faces.  She looked at Ross who looked as puzzled as she felt.  

“Moonlight Sonata.” Charles said in a cracked voice.

Demelza shook her head, “Yes, that’s right, by Beethoven.”

“My wife used to play it all the time.  It was her favourite piece,” Charles explained.

Demelza gasped a little.  “I’m so sorry.  I saw Verity’s name on it so I just thought she played it.”

Francis spoke up, “Our mother’s name was Verity as well.  You played it beautifully, Demelza.”

“Oh that’s why it sounded so familiar.  I just didn’t know the name of it,” Ross said.

“I am so, so sorry if it brought back sad memories for all of you,” said Demelza.

“On the contrary child.  They were very good memories.  And I thank you for reminding me, us.  Now, would anyone care for some port?” Charles asked.

“No, thank you Uncle Charles.  Demelza and I must be going.  We have a long drive ahead of us.”  Ross stood up and walked over to Demelza.   

“Oh Ross, but we just arrived.  Please stay,” Elizabeth smiled with that fake smile that Ross knew so well.

“As I said, we have a long drive ahead of us.  We drove down with a stop over, but we aren’t stopping on the trip back.”

“You left the party so early on New Year’s Eve.  I heard you were ill Demelza?” Now she was on her meddling path.

Demelza spoke up, “No, I don’t know where you heard that from.  We danced and had a lovely time.  As Ross said we had made the trip in two days, and we had just arrived that day, and then we were told of Grace’s illness, and had a lovely dinner with Grace and Joshua.  We’d simply had a long day and Ross was anxious to get home into bed, weren’t you, darling?” Demelza was definitely not cow towing to Elizabeth and Agatha was loving it.

“I bet he was anxious to get you into bed, Bud!” Agatha wanted to get in on the game!

Ross smiled at Demelza and kissed her on the cheek.  “Well it’s been wonderful seeing you Uncle Charles, Aunt Agatha.  Francis, Elizabeth. Do take care.”  He walked over to give Agatha a hug as did Demelza, and a handshake with Charles.

“Demelza, you can play on our piano anytime.” Charles said.

“Thank you Charles.  It was my pleasure. Take care.”  Seamus barked his goodbye which made Elizabeth jump.

*************************

Demelza got in the car as Ross got Seamus settled.  Then Ross drove out of the driveway and as soon as they were clear of the mansion, they both started laughing!!!

“Oh fuck Demelza I love you so much!  I love how you didn’t let Elizabeth rattle you.”  Ross praised his love.

“Oh hell no!  She doesn’t scare me.  Oh Ross, I love your Aunt Agatha!  I couldn’t believe she said  that about you being anxious to get me home to bed!!”

“I told you she was a spitfire!  You should feel honoured that she gave you a nickname already.. Bud!  She has never liked Elizabeth, even back when I was dating her.  She kept telling me that she was the wrong girl for me.  Too bad that I didn’t listen to her soon enough.  Oh well, at least I found out before she got me down the aisle!”

“Ross, I love your parents.  They were so nice to me.  And of course Prudie and Jud.” Demelza was bubbling.

“And they love you.”

“Do you think?  I hope so.”

“I know so, love.”

Dawn yawned, “Nampara is beautiful.  Like a house in a fairy tale…”

Ross was rambling on about Nampara and the beach, and how he and Claude used to run and play on it.  Then he looked over and saw that Demelza was fast asleep with her head against the window.  “Oh my love, have pleasant dreams.  It has been a busy few days.”  Ross turned the radio on low to keep him company for the drive home.  His mind was spinning with the topic of conversation that he had hoped to discuss on the car ride home.  But it would have to wait for another day.

**************************

I’ve never been a fan of Strawberry Fields Forever.  Sorry if that offends any Beatles purists out there.  I chose that song for the title of the chapter because apparently “Strawberry was a real place that John Lennon grew up near, and the song is about his childhood.  The song is about the memories of that place and how much the area meant to him.”  When I read that bit, it reminded me of what Ross must feel like going home to Nampara and remembering his brother and other childhood memories growing up there.  

[joylinda-hawks]

At the end of the week before the weekend began, I decided to choose a selfie of ZZH. And not just any selfie, a selfie of young ZZH. It is obvious that ZZH, like every young person, loves taking selfies. It is not a manifestation of self-admiration, but a way to immortalize his appearance at a given stage of life. Why do I perceive it this way? Because ZZH rarely takes highly stylized selfies. Most often, he probably does them on impulse. ZZH does not have to look like a big star with the right makeup and hairstyle. Of course, makeup and hairstyle emphasize his beauty, but even without them ZZH delights with his naturalness. He is not ashamed to show himself without embellishments, and besides, there is nothing to be ashamed of. In every edition, ZZH looks great. For today, I chose a photo of ZZH, which he took while sitting in a car. ZZH is still that twenty-something guy looking forward to the future with hope. When we look at his face, he looks very slim, maybe it is the effect of the smartphone settings, maybe ZZH was a bit slimmer at the time. Due to the slimness of his face, his huge dark eyes are perfectly visible. These large almond-shaped eyes are ZZH's trademark, even when he has them slightly squinted, you can't mistake them for others. Here, these eyes are slightly covered by strands of hair from his bangs. Yes, ZZH's hair plays the main role here. I think it is freshly washed and dried, so we can discover that ZZH has slightly wavy hair, which is not completely black, but has a dark brown color that shimmers in different shades in the sun. This hairstyle makes ZZH look younger, and the lack of makeup allows us to admire his flawless complexion with sexy moles and slight traces of stubble above his mouth and on his chin. The light pink sweatshirt goes nicely with ZZH's warm complexion. ZZH looks like he was late for work and decided to take a selfie waiting at the traffic light. Or maybe ZZH was planning to go somewhere early in the morning and took this photo as a souvenir while stuck in traffic. I don't know what the story is behind this photo, but I like that ZZH has some distance to himself.

[isabellainteriordesign8]

‘DECORA GIRL' COMIC BOOK FIRST PAGE

This is the first page of a comic story book I created for my final A Level product. The first page differs from the rest of the pages as it introduces the reader to the overall style and aesthetic of the illustrative storyline, from the initial and re occurring colour scheme, to the style of fine and precise linework. I wanted to give the audience a feel for the setting by showing the outer architecture of where the story I made took place. Here I didn’t just focus on the space and silhouette of the building but I also applied my focus on the use of light and how certain highlights and shadows are created in the early morning. When creating this comic book I came to learn the importance of colour choice and sticking to a similar palette of hues through out the pages to achieve cohesion, which can be seen in the following image.

‘DECORA GIRL' COMIC BOOK PAGES

These are some snippets from the book I created. My aim with the illustrations was to show how interior plays along with the day to day life of a teenage girl getting ready to go out. I focused on this goal by showing different angles and perspectives of the rooms in her home while making sure the colour of her clothing paired with the walls and furniture. I wanted to display how fashion isn’t the only form of self expression but also the environment you're living in and how you choose to decorate it.

MANUAL & DIGITAL MARBLING TEXTURE

On the left is an example of ink and water experimentations, where I had applied contrasting ink colours onto a tray of water and laid a sheet of paper onto it to capture the movement of these pigments. I would then go onto experiment with the movement of the ink by tracing it out digitally to create patterns where I'm able to manipulate the colour palette into what I want in order to allow the contrasting patterns to differentiate from one another. Although I like the clean refined look of the digital version, I still believe the raw and textured initial patterns to be more interesting to incorporate in pieces of my work.

‘RED ROOM’ INSTALLATION

In this small installation piece my objective was to focus on the use of space and how using minimal detail can lead to different interpretations. I stuck to two colours, which I knew would contrast well against one another due to the difference in vibrancy, leading to the illusions of different designs sticking out to the audience. You can either take in the red lines coming forward from the white background or you can push back the harsh lines and focus on the negative space of the piece. This shows how a room can be perceived in alternative ways by an individual.

‘HABITAT’ PART 1: CREATING A FLOOR PLAN COLLAGE

My first attempt to create a floor plan to display a birds eye view of my room. Using a selfie stick, I took multiple images of my room using my iPhone from a high angle facing down and I captured multiple images of every corner and space of my room. Using Photoshop, I pieced the images with one another like a puzzle to create a larger full image. I wanted to explore the space I live in and create drawings representing this. In order to have a physical visualization of my room, by putting together this collage I was able to create a piece that appears that I’ve removed the roof off my house and taken a full image from above. By taking multiple photos I was able to take in each detail of my living space and look at how objects and colours in my room work with one another to create a space that represents my style.

‘HABITAT’ PART 2: COLOUR

I traced the image I had put together previously in order to give the design a more refined look. In this stage of my design I wanted to look at the colours in my room and how they work with one another. Overall there's a lot of simplicity, which can be portrayed in the majority grey colour scheme where certain objects in my room such as my vanity seat and tapestry provide a pop of colour. This allows me to notice how the tapestry works as the focal point of my environment, which is where the eyes are drawn to upon walking in. The illustration gives me a substitute perspective to what I see when coming through the door and I come to notice the imbalance of negative space in my room and how swapping furniture such as my bed and desk can allow to even out the free area in my room.

‘MENU-PLAN’ FLOOR PLAN SILHOUETTE EXPERIMENTATIONS

This is a mini project I did to challenge myself to planning space within more particular silhouettes. Here I was able to experiment with alternative ways of filling up rooms that have a mixture of both straight lines and curves. I varied my technique by changing room and corridor shapes to fit in an oval, triangular and rectangular form. With this I was further allowed to see how I would go about designing and placing objects and furniture in these forms of capacities.

STILL LIFE

For these paintings, I captured the layouts of a range of objects that appear in my room. Interior isn’t only the result of wallpaper and furniture, but the objects that lay within a space contribute to the room as well. I ranged the subjects from my skincare products painted with gouache paint, and my stationary and paints done with acrylic paint. For each painting I varied the style, such as a more blended and effect was created with the center gouache painting. As the paint is activated with water it allowed me to blend shadows into the objects. With the other two images, I used a stippling and thick stroke effect as acrylic dries quicker. This allowed the paintings to have more texture in the form of which how the paint was applied.

LINE DRAWINGS

Using a 0.3 pen I created a range of patterns and designs using lines, stippling effect and block colouring to create a variety of shapes. I would layer the form of texture I was drawing out in order to create tone in the image. By including space for shadows and highlights, these 2D images were able to have a 3D appearance. The use of just black and white was inspired by the dazzle camouflage used on ships in the first world war. I was intrigued by the idea of how the placement of colour within shapes can elicit a hallucinatory response in an audience. 

DAZZLE CAMOFLAGUE RESEARCH

For this project, I researched into the history of the pattern along with the artist Shigeki Matsuyama. The artist had supporting work that explores the same black and white pattern but instead applying it within a room to tell a story to an audience. I like the artists use of blurring any outlines and relying on the contradiction between designs. This leads to thee audience having to pick details out from the piece.

DAZZLE CAMOFLAGUE INSTALLATION

This is my final mini installation design inspired by the dazzle camouflage. I wanted to create an interactive space focusing on the importance of light working together with the room and objects within it. A light shines at different points of the installation creating a range of different shadows and silhouettes for the audience to interact with, through observation or photography. I wanted to create the space large enough so that individuals can step into it and really take in the carved out designs and how lighting works with it.

SKETCHBOOK OBSERVATIONAL SKETCHES

Here I've presented some images coming from an A5 sketchbook I carry around with me. Usually I tend to take a lot of time with my drawings focusing on preciseness and making sure they're perfect, but these sketches allow me to create observational notes of forms of still life or rooms that I come in contact with without focusing too much on precision. Examples such as the last two pages consist of objects I come across and that could be used for designs I create in the future. Instead of taking a picture, I focus on drawing out the details that stand out to me like the silhouette and how lighting can influence its shape and appearance to take forward in the future.

‘BEYOND THE FRAME’

For this design my intent was to look at designing a focal point for a room. I went for the alternative idea to do a toilet instead of a room to widen my experimentations. As toilets tend to be more narrow it was easy to decide to place the frame in the center.. This further allows the eyes to be drawn to the design as centering it allows there to be more balance within the interior. I used watercolours to paint the room which allowed the overall style to come across as softer due to the water lightening the colours. This allowed the fine line drawing to differentiate with the calmer grey hues.

DRAWING GAMES

To further challenge my observational skills I set a range of tasks to look at either an object or room and draw them in alternative ways. The most beneficial were the last three that allowed me to pick out the most important details of an object in order to complete a drawing in a certain set amount of time. You can see the evolution of how I went from creating a simple outline to slowly adding more features as my time limit got longer.

SEASONAL CAFES’ SPRING VERSION‘

I had previously set myself a project where I focused on creating café interiors inspired by the seasons of the year. In my spring example you can see my attention towards how I wanted to express the season through the colour palette. Inspired by a pink cherry blossom tree, I focused on wooden furniture to represent the trunk of the tree and allowed a pop of pink to contrast. I was inspired by the idea of Korean plant cafes and how they hang plants from the ceiling and decided to apply this in the form of using flowers. The choice of colour and texture gives the space a soft and comforting feel, which pairs well with people going to cafes to chat, study or work.

‘PERSPECTIVE’

This is an A4 sketch of a room in my house that I don’t go into a lot. Using a range of crosshatching to create different forms of tone range in the piece, I decided to go with the fish eye lens style to try and sketch out a room by memory. This was a form of testing my visualization and spatial skills and to see how accurate I could get it. The distortion of the lens almost represents the way I see the room in my head from not spending a lot of time in there.

‘2D TEXTURES’ OBSERVATIONAL DRAWINGS

Using both pro markers and a 0.3 pen I drew a range of textures that can appear in the interiors of homes. I Looked at variations of bricks and stones which I recurringly saw in more traditional and older houses, whereas the wood was more popular within the floors of modern homes instead of carpet. I made sure to include a stippling effect across the majority of my drawings to convey the grainy texture that comes from these materials, along with some crosshatching to suggest shadows and darker hues. 

‘CLIMATES’

This is one one of the projects I set myself. I wanted to explore and compare  the choice of interior between two countries that experience different climates. Having grown up in two countries, I wanted to create a piece of work highlighting the distinctions between the interior of a room in England (left) and Colombia (right). I took details from my room in both countries to apply here while also conducting further research into the contrasting materials that appear on each side. I enjoy creating work that allows me to express my life and ethnic roots in different forms. In this project I was able to convey it in a completely new aspect by looking at the pigments and furniture that go into making a room in both countries.

‘HOW SOUND TRAVELS’ MODEL

Using both paper and card I wanted to create a 3D model to represent how I convey sound moves around in a large room. I took some initial sketches from my sketchbook and stuck to a symmetrical descendent of curves getting smaller and then almost doubling in size. This outline portrays how I visualize sounds waves to bounce off the walls in a large room. The small curve displays the sound hitting a wall and then it grows once its in the space. I was happy with the outcome that was the result of precise measurements and the us of a scalpel to make even lines and spaces.

[feral-teeth]

Chapter 5: never crossing the line

Summary:

‘Melancholy - Pensive reflection or contemplation’ We blamed our blushing faces on the cold. We were so close that day. Arms wrapping around each other, casual touches, a hand on an arm, and holding hands in a way that made us feel like we were a couple. But we played it off so casually, as if we were two friends who were just going for a walk to get hot chocolate in the cold. Holding out our pink fingertips to get warmed up by the others knitted mittens. Holding each other's hot drinks in our frostbitten hands as we took a sip of the others to taste the molten chocolate liquid on our tongue. Pretending like it wasn't an excuse to taste the other in the only way that we felt we could.

Notes:

Small warning for mentions of a funeral at the beginning and alcohol. There is also a touch of sadness. I promise its not that bad, but of course if you are uncomfortable , you can always click off the page. <3 There’s more of a warning for wistfulness. Please enjoy, and stay kind!

The worst part of this year is that no one else called for my birthday. 

No one posted any happy birthday wishes for me to their social media stories. 

There was nothing. 

I could have posted something public about it, but I feel like I don’t have to do that if people knew me enough. 

Mum’s busy with work and the funeral so of course I understand that, and Dad hasn’t remembered unless Mum reminds him during the usual annual birthday call. 

Until this year, and dad wasn’t there to say his curt ‘Happy birthday kiddo’ over the line.

 Mom didn’t even have the time to call at all that day.

“Mom’s probably just busy with the memorial, right?” My voice cracks, tears threatening to wet my cheek as I hold them back. 

Embarrassment flowed through me when I thought about crying over something so seemingly small. And worse, through the phone to who I call my best friend, but don’t really know if she calls me hers. 

“I just feel so alone,” I tell you this as my voice cracks more, breaking through so much that it blocks my throat. 

I blame it on being sick, that I have phlegm stuck in my throat. 

I force out a laugh, tossing my head back with my fingernails tracing circles on my chest, switching the landline to my other hand. 

I pause, waiting for you to say something. 

I awkwardly itch my ear when you don’t.

You’re waiting in the silence for me to continue.

 I cough. 

To distract myself from the moment, I turn to gaze out the window onto the New York streets covered in sleet. A fresh layer of snow lay over all of the balconies and the sidewalks. The road was traced and lined with small footprints and bike tires that make crosshatches in snow. 

I quietly watch the people bundled up in the winter gear, struggling to walk through the snow, trying their best to keep from slipping. Making new small paths of footprints that will be whisked away when the morning comes and the snowplows remove all of the snow. 

I gaze at the brown brick buildings and the sky rises outside. 

I look at the brown brick walls in my apartment.

I look around at my apartment. Messy and lived in, but home to me. 

It started feeling more like home when I got my grey cat, Lucy. And even more like home when I got my black cat, Ghost.

 I watch as Lucy bats at a hanging toy mouse and Ghost sleeps in a bundle on the windowsill, content and happy.

Lucky her.

Looking around my apartment, I notice small things that I haven’t really looked closely at, being so distracted from work. 

The dusty photos hung up on a string along the wall that were so carefully placed, were now mostly pictures of old friends who I no longer speak to. 

A glossy photo of you and I at the front of the stack of papers on my fridge, our faces squished together in a selfie. A scarf was wrapped around both of our necks. Our faces were red from the bitter cold biting at our face. 

We blamed our blushing faces on the cold. We were so close that day. Arms wrapping around each other, casual touches, a hand on an arm, and holding hands in a way that made us feel like we were a couple.

But we played it off so casually, as if we were two friends who were just going for a walk to get hot chocolate in the cold. Holding out our pink fingertips to get warmed up by the others knitted mittens. Holding each other's hot drinks in our frostbitten hands as we took a sip of the others to taste the molten chocolate liquid on our tongue. 

Pretending like it wasn't an excuse to taste the other in the only way that we felt we could. 

This was definitely not a date, we told ourselves. 

We would never cross that line with each other, never get too close to the other. 

Like there was a forcefield between us that would push us away if we ever got too close to acting like a couple.

Too close to acting like girlfriends. 

Not the type you would call your close friends with a squeal, ‘Hey girlfriend!!’ Or what the older ladies at work would call her ‘girlfriends’ when they just meant the group of friends she went out with on the weekends to get ‘margarita wasted’ - her words, not mine. 

We never got close enough to act like real girlfriends. 

I meant the girls who showed their love to each other, fully. With no fear. No holding back. Holding hands like they mean it, stealing kisses from each other that meant something, and going between the knees to do more than what friends would do. 

Those types of girlfriends.

My eyes scan another photo behind that one, of just you. Squatting and holding two peace signs in front of you, sticking your tongue out.

 We were in a ‘silly goofy mood’ that day, as we were calling it. We were making dumb poses and silly faces that made each other laugh so hard we toppled over, clutching at our ribs from the pain. 

Seeing you like that, and remembering all of our memories makes me giggle fondly into the quiet of my apartment.

You ask what I was laughing at. 

I say nothing, forgetting you were there in the drawn out silence. 

I was embarrassed to tell you it was my favorite memories of us that I was laughing at, wondering how I would explain it to you.

How could I ever explain the amount of fondness I feel towards you? It was surely impossible.

How would I explain all of the mixed up emotions and feelings that I have for you? It was all too confusing and hurt too much to even think about. 

I was scared that the words and feelings and thoughts would all come tumbling out. 

That my world would come tumbling down if I even told you a fraction of the truth. 

So I didn’t say anything. 

We sit in silence for a moment.

You don’t say anything. You’re just waiting, listening for my next word or jumble of words. 

I sigh.

 Melancholy washes over me as my eyes glaze over my apartment to look out the window, but this time to the apartments across from mine. 

Windows were filled up with Christmas trees with bright, twinkling lights that blur the bright boxes into one cohesive chocolate box of colours. 

I wish for a moment that I was in another apartment, surrounded by the bright lights, sitting in a group that understands who I am, inside and out, and will accommodate for that, no questions asked. 

I sigh again. Longer, allowing some air to release from my lungs. 

Then I inhale, breathing slowly. 

I was falling in love, but I couldn't stop it this time. 

With both the city and the girl who was on the other side of the phone. 

And I couldn't do anything about it. 

*

I had a fever until I met you by Arrow Valentine (feral_tooth on archiveofourown.org)

Link to fic on ao3

Summary: Alone in your New York apartment on your birthday with a heavy snow storm raging outside and no plans. And even worse, you’re sick.

Spotify playlist for this fic

Pinterest board for the fic

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/F

Fandom: Smosh

Relationship: Angela Giarratana/Courtney Miller

Characters: Angela GiarratanaCourtney Miller

Additional Tags:

Fluff, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Angst, Angst and Feels, Cute Ending, Sick Character, Romantic Fluff, POV Queer Character, POV Female Character, RPF, New York City, New York: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting

Notes:

This is from Angela Giarratana POV towards Courtney Miller

I know her birthday is in October but this is an au where Courtney and Angela live in NY and I need the snow and holiday vibes for this so please just let me have this <33

Title based on lyrics from me & my dog by Boygenius

Chapter 1: why I love you

You were there with a giant thermos of soup and ingredients to make dinner.

That was when I knew you truly loved me.

You were there when I needed you most, and I love you for that.

You kissed me, we made out on the couch even though I was so sick I couldn’t breathe. That was when I knew you loved me.

We kissed and kissed until we were horizontal, lying on top of each other. Breaks between to make tea and to sip on boiling hot soup that turned my face red, my cheeks blushing from the feelings you gave me.

And then you would kiss me.

And I knew you loved me.

That’s when I knew you loved me.

[lieutenantfloyd]

Natasha “Phoenix” Trace as your girlfriend

Pairing: Natasha “Phoenix” Trace x Reader

Warnings: Vague elusion to smut, one slight reference to reader possibly being femme (a linked photo), otherwise gn! reader/overall no mention of gender or pronouns.

Note: I’m in a bit of a phoenix phase at the moment and I discovered there’s not nearly enough Phoenix x reader content out there. She deserves more love! Also, two posts in less than a week might just be my new personal record.

Loves pda and has zero shame about it.

Is so so handsy in general.

Will do anything in her power to make you smile.

Loves to get up early and cook breakfast for you.

Writes you a love letter every morning and delivers it to you with breakfast.

Leaves you notes hidden around the house when shes on a mission/deployed.

Takes you to concerts as often as possible (and insists on hoisting you up on her shoulders).

She doesn’t hesitate to introduce you to the rest of the dagger squad (even if its just so you can make fun of Hangman together)

Date nights usually you eating snacks and watching netflix in a bubble bath.

You definitely get matching monogrammed robes for that exact purpose.

Unironically recreates this photo with you. (she’s the one with the brush)

When you’re at the hard deck together she puts her hand in your back pocket and glares at anyone who even thinks of approaching you.

Keeps a polaroid of you on her person at all times.

Totally insists on hosting any holiday/birthday parties at your house.

Cried when you told her you wanted to adopt a dog.

Cried again when you brought the dog home.

Forces you to take formal family photos multiple times a year.

Can’t fall asleep unless she’s laying almost completely on top of you.

She never wanted until you took her back home to meet your family. Playing with your nieces, nephews, and cousins gave her the most intense baby fever that she still hasn’t gotten rid of.

Sunday’s in the Trace household are dedicated solely to her accomplishing various household tasks while you relax.

Most notably, she mows the lawn in short shorts and a sports bra.

Every weekend you have to fight the urge to jump her bones.

And every weekend you fail.

Sends you selfies while she’s at work/deployed.

Forces you to watch cheesy hallmark movies with her year round.

Has a playlist of songs that remind her of you for every possible situation.

May or may not have a secret pinterest account she uses to plan your future wedding.

Wants to wear matching couples jewelry (especially earrings)

Suggests getting subtle matching tattoos as well

Bookstore/library dates !!

Loves to go on long drives with you. Windows down, music blaring.

Her favorite drives end with you pulling over on some deserted beach and watching the sunset from the hood of her car.

Natasha prides herself on her inability to get flustered, but whisper in her ear while you card your fingers through her hair and she’s suddenly a blushing, stuttering mess.

[dazz-linglight]

Exo first I love you reaction

(yess baby, thank you for requesting!) (This took me a long time to post and I specified the reason below.)

Xiumin (Minseok)

After spending the night together he woke up first and tries to get up to go to the kitchen to make two mugs of coffee to start the day, but you protest holding him tighter still in your sleep

"Don't leave me, I love you.." He sees your eyes closed and decided to stay five minutes more to cuddle you.

"I love you too, baby." He kisses your cheek and nuzzles on your neck, laying down comfortably again with a big smile.

Suho (Junmyeon)

You have been friends with benefits for a while, sometimes made movie nights together and hang outs and not officially in a relationship yet, so you invited him to come over to talk. He arrived a few minutes later and you pulled him to the couch to sit down.

"Are you okay?" He asked a little worried by your seriousness and leaned closer.

"No.. I mean yes, kinda, I just don't want to hold it back anymore."

"What is it?" You had butterflies swarming on your stomach by adrenaline and the scary thought of failure on your mind, you squeezed his hand in the space between the two of you and gathered the courage to say it.

"I' love you. As more than a friend, I mean." He seemed surprised for a minute while you waited for some kind of response but soon he smiled seemingly relieved. It was your turn to be surprised when he wrapped a hand on your neck and pulled you closer in a light kiss.

"I was worried you were going to say you found someone else. Good thing I was wrong, because I love you too."

Lay

Yixing spent the day on his studio and you were worried since you knew that he often neglected himself when working, so you decided to pay him a visit in the evening and got food on the way.

"Baobei?" You placed the containers with food on the center table and got closer to him after noticing he was asleep on the couch and massaged his shoulder until he stirred.

"Oh? You're here" He showed those cute dimples with a smile and sat up to pay attention to you.

"Have you eaten? I bought hotpot, we can eat together."

"You didn't have to.." He tried to convince you it was okay but you're weren't having it.

"I had to because I love you and I worry about you, okay?" He felt like he was still dreaming when you said it and you saw his ears getting red.

"You love me?" You give him a pair of chopsticks and nod sitting by his side.

"Yes, I do."

"Fair enough, I love you more."

Baekhyun

Baekhyun invited you to a late night ride to the Hand River to enjoy the view with you with no interruptions. He put Bambi to play on the bluetooth and you both of you opened the doors to go to the back seats, getting comfortably close to cuddle.

"You're so warm, I love it.." You sigh laying your head on his wide shoulder and he wrapped his arms around you, spreading his fingers lightly along the soft skin of your cheek and bringing your chin up to look at him.

"And I love you." You traced the veins on his arm. It was exactly then that you felt him as yours, belonging to each other. You pressed your lips to his in a sweet kiss and separating a few seconds later.

"I love you too.." He nuzzles on your neck, humming softly in your ear to the music playing from his phone.

Chen

(I spent a long time wondering if I should write about him romantically now that he's actually married, and after much thought I came to the conclusion that yes, I will still write for him since this is just fiction and it won't do any harm to his actual relationship. If you're uncomfortable you can skip his part.)

It happened in the first holiday you were spending together with his parents. You had been wanting to say it for quite some time before that moment and had nearly said it on a few occasions but chickened out. The urge was stronger when he showed little gestures of cuteness that were his personal ways of saying “I love you” without words. Then he decided to take the lead and say it first in the middle of the kitchen in the early hours of the morning after making you tea.

“Pardon?” Just because you wanted to be sure that you've heard him right.

"I love you." He repeated himself, this time closer to you and then of course, you didn't hesitate to say it right back.

Chanyeol

You and Chanyeol were on your first trip together to a small town away from Seoul to see the cherry blossoms. It's the new season and the view is beautiful to see together on a hiking.

"Yeol! Look at this one!" You pointed at the biggest tree you saw until now and Chanyeol smiled taking pictures of you and the tree, wanting to register the moment. You run to his side and hug him by the neck, took his phone and clicked selfies while kissing his cheek, causing him to laugh wholeheartedly hugging you tight.

"You're so cute, I love you." He mumbled booping your nose. You were unknowingly recording, the rush of dopamine in your brain and quickening of your heart as your thoughts only focused on him.

"I love you too!" You replied with excitement, taking advantage of the empty place to shower him with many kisses, all of it staying engraved on his phone.

D.O.

You were preparing the salad when you heard the beeps of the code on the front door, meaning Kyungsoo arrived. He smelled the food and heard the noises coming from the kitchen, so he rolled up his sleeves and walked until he found you. You turn around to greet him as he took in the sight and stared back at you.

"Are you hungry? Dinner is almost ready!" You could practically see his irises dilating and he wrapped an arm over your hips and planted a light kiss on both of your cheeks and lips.

"You're the best, I love you." Your arms tighten on his back through the surprise but still gathered the courage to answer with a giggle as he nuzzles his nose on your neck.

"I love you too."

Kai

Jongin had to travel to another city for a special photoshoot and would stay there for a week, so whenever you both had time you called each other, during the day and at night before sleeping.

"Okay, now we really should hang up, you need to rest for tomorrow." You point out after seeing it's close to midnight.

"Then you hang up first."

"No, you first."

"You!"

"Let's hang up together."

"Okay. Count till 3?"

"1"

"2"

"3"

"Yah."

"What?"

"I love you." He answered first in a whisper.

"I love you too, sleep well." You smiled feeling all bubbly and could hear him giggling on the other side.

"Dream about me." He said at last and hung up, both of you fluttered by the moment.

Sehun

Sehun had gone out with the members for dinner and later arrived at your door by taxi since he drank a little too much.

"There's my pretty doll." He greets slurring his words as you helped him in and took his jacket.

"Come closer, I'll tell you a secret.." You get curious about what he was going to say in the first time you're seeing him drunk and scoots closer to him.

"Yes?"

"Hi." Sehun draped his arms around you, pulling you even closer to talk right on your ear.

"Hi."

"Baby."

"Yes?"

"I love yooou" He said followed by a fit of giggles from his drunk self and you squeeze his cheeks to make him focus.

"I love you too, silly." You kiss his face and wrap your hands around his torso. Someway Sehun end up tripping while kicking off his shoes and leads both of you to the ground, you above him.

[pianostarinwonderland]

I’m the anon that sent the angsty Ortho post, and I am satisfied w ur reaction ☺️ had another thought (dw it’s not as sad): MC finally finds a way to go back to their world but once they leave every trace, memory, anything about them and their existence is wiped but their presence still lingers in their classmates minds. Ace and Deuce always leave an empty space, be it sitting in the cafeteria, the classroom, even when they walk sometimes. Sometimes they walk slower without realizing it (I like to think that MC had a slower gait then those two so they would compensate by walking slower so that they can keep up), they don’t know why they do it but it feels right so they don’t question it. If MC never existed there would be no need for ppl to approach Ramshakle dorm but whenever Jack is on his morning runs and he zones out, he often finds himself reaching out to open the doors to the Ramshackle dorm before coming back to himself and continuing his run, dismissing it as instinctual curiosity. Pictures that MC was in, MC is either replaced by someone else or it’s just an empty space. Cater looks through his pics during beans day and wonders why he took so many selfies (which used to be photos that had Yuu in it). Whenever the adeuce pair eat at Monstro Lounge most of the time Floyd serves them shrimp-related food, even if it isn’t what they ordered, saying that it feels right to have them with shrimpy food. Malleus finds that the Ramshackle dorm is too empty for his liking, like something is missing but he doesn’t know what.

[From here!]

God, that’s actually pretty yummy???? Like, I kind of want to write that. 😩 When put that way, you can see that MC’s existence really touched some of the students’ lives, and that is really bittersweet.