#toxiclogicality

[preparetosufferemotionally]

Home, Part 2: Memories of Yesterday

Prinxiety

TW: Flashbacks, past abuse, past abusive relationship, toxic anxiceit, references to s3xual things, slight anxiety attack, current abusive relationship, cursing (Some characters really like cursing), unsympathetic Deceit/Janus, Remus (But pretty calm), dissociation, PTSD, flashbacks, yelling, tears, arguing, threatening, guilt, and trauma. 

The day started to go south when Roman got home. He had just picked up their son, Remy, from preschool. Virgil had been busy at work, drawing for books. Currently his favorite one to draw for was the story Roman had been working on. Of course, that was only Virgil’s first job. Virgil also had to work as a carer in an adoption center to make the extra money. Roman too had a second job, working as a director for the local theater, but it didn’t pay much and Roman was too stubborn to ask for more money. So Virgil rolled his eyes and told Roman to pick up Remy from preschool. 

Roman ran a bit late, and was surprised when he ran into familiar faces in the building. 

“It’s okay Remy, I’m sure your dad’s going to be here soon kiddo. For now, why don’t you go play with Emile, okay? He’s my kiddo. I’m sure you two will get along fine,” Patton encouraged with a smile, sending the two children off to play in a corner as he turned to his husband, glaring at him. Logan shrank backward, already anticipating pain. 

Roman burst through the door, panting. Patton quickly schooled his features into a more pleasant expression, elbowing Logan into doing the same. Logan obeyed, stifling his shock when a more adult looking Roman entered. He quickly retreated, looking down.

“I am incredibly sorry I’m late Mr. Hart, there was so much traffic. Was Remy okay?” Roman asked as he composed himself, adjusting his hair slightly. 

Patton walked toward Remy, who had jumped up excitedly at the sound of his dad’s voice. Emile quietly giggled, following Remy. Remy slowed down when he realized Emile was behind him, stopping to grab his hand. The two four year olds walked forward together towards their parents, who started to talk. 

“Oh your kiddo was just fine Mr. Empire. He played with my son Emile for a little while, who came to visit today. Remy learned all about frogs today and built with blocks to create a castle.” Just as Remy let go of Emile’s hand to hug his dad, Roman swung him up in the air, sending a flurry of giggles through the little boy.

“That’s my boy!” Roman gently set him back on the ground, still holding his tiny hand, and putting on his jacket. “Thank you a ton much Mr. Hart, for...” Roman trailed off looking right at Patton’s face. “We’ve met before.” Patton giggled nervously, making sure to send a warning look to Logan, who looked pained. 

“Well, you have come to pick up Remy before Mr. Empire.” Roman shook his head, slightly shooing off Remy to keep playing with Emile, which he did gladly. 

“No, I met you somewhere else. Before that.” Then Roman’s gaze fell on the desperately trying to be non-existent Logan. “Logan?” Logan flinched backwards, trying to hide. Patton quickly realized Roman knew, so before he came to a dangerous conclusion, Patton grabbed Logan and pushed him slightly forward. 

“Oh yes, we went to college together. I remember now. You were friends with my Logan.” Roman heard Patton, but stared slack jawed at Logan, who looked so different from the confident law student he had been friends with. Logan looked like a toothpick, thin and breakable, and he was missing his glasses. But more than looking breakable, he looked broken. There was something in his eyes Roman hadn’t seen before. Exhaustion? It seemed to fit, but it didn’t fully ecompse the full emotion in the squinting eyes. Roman finally spoke. 

“So you got rid of those glasses, huh nerd?” Logan kept his mouth shut, avoiding Roman’s gaze. Patton answered for him. 

“He lost his just recently actually. We’ve been trying to get a new pair but our eye doctor doesn’t have our prescription back from our last appointment.” Roman nodded sympathetically, watching Logan from the corner of his eye. “Virgil is your husband correct? Your son is a spitting image of him.” Roman nodded, smiling.

“Yes, dark and stormy night and I got married. If I knew you two were this close to us, I would have invited you to the wedding.” 

“Oh we just moved here about a year ago,” Patton lied. Roman sighed sadly. 

“Well, it's been great catching up with you, but I should probably get home. I don’t want to worry Virgil. Come here Remy! Time to go home to Papa!” Remy gave Emile a hug and then ran to Roman excitedly. 

“Okay dad!” As Roman and Remy walked out the door, Roman offered one last thing. 

“Since our boys liked hanging out with each other today, maybe they can have a playdate some time!” 

“Sure thing! Goodbye now!” Roman hurried out the entrance, headed to the car. He quickly buckled in Remy, who complained he could do it himself. Roman didn’t listen, trying to get home in ten minutes, almost breaking twenty traffic laws in the process. Finally, he made it to their home. It was like a modest cottage like home in a nice neighborhood. He barely noticed as he pushed open the door, and ran in with Remy.

“Go put your coat away okay? I just want to check on your papa.” Remy grumbled, but listened. “Virgil, are you okay? I’m home! So sorry I’m late. I just lost track of time.” Shuddering breaths came from the “office” in their home. 

“I’m fine,” Virgil called, slowly calming down from his anxiety attack. Breath in for four... Random events like showing up late often led to anxiety attacks, which Virgil wasn’t exactly sure he became used to, but he did expect them. 

“Okay!” Roman said. “Do you think you can come downstairs? Remy’s home.” Virgil let out a shuddering breath, Out for four. 

“Coming down as we speak.” Virgil quickly went down the short flight of stairs where Roman stood at the bottom. Roman smiled at Virgil, happy to see him. 

When Virgil reached the bottom, Roman quickly asked, “Touching or no touching?” Virgil thought for a moment before answering.

“You can touch me, but not too much.” Roman smiled brightly and gave Virgil a quick hug. Virgil rolled his eyes, and hugged back. 

“Hi papa!” Remy shouted excitedly, going to join the hug. Roman and Virgil smiled, and let him in. Virgil hugged him tightly.

“Hey kid, how was school?” Remy smiled as his dad let him go. 

“Good! Dad ran a little late but Mr. Hart let me play with Emile!” Virgil looked at Roman.

“Who’s Emile?” Roman’s smile wavered slightly. 

“Mr. Hart’s son who came to visit.”  Virgil looked at him suspiciously. Roman quickly changed the subject. 

“I heard you learned about frogs today! And built a castle! Can you tell me and your papa all about it!” Remy nodded ethusically, starting to rattle on about frogs. Virgil gave Roman a look, but listened to Remy.

Finally, when dinner ended, and Remy had been put to sleep, Virgil asked. 

“Okay, what the hell was that about?” Roman awkwardly fiddled with his fingers, sitting back down on a kitchen stool across from Virgil. “I would like an answer.” 

“Okay. So, Mr. Hart is Patton.” Virgil scrunched his nose up in confusion. 

“Who’s that? Oh wait. Hang on. It's that asshole from college, isn’t it?” Roman nodded, sighing. “Didn’t he have a different last name though? Lügner?” 

“Yes, but he changed his last name with his spouse.” Virgil furrowed his brow, as Roman watched him connect the dots. 

“He married Logan,” Virgil said with the assurance of the morgue pronouncing a person dead. Roman didn’t need to ask why he knew. “That fucking bastard. I am going to find where he lives and kill him.” 

“Darling, while of course I always support you, murder is frowned in polite soceity.” Virgil let out a frustrated groan of annoyance.

“I hate that family so fucking much. I hate them,” Virgil whispered, angry tears leaking out of his eyes. “They are fucking monsters.” Roman started to gently rub Virgil’s back, soothing him.

“I know darling. I’m so very sorry.” Virgil just kept crying into his hands, eventually turning around and embracing Roman, who kept soothing him, until Virgil began to calm down. He let out a humorless laugh.

“Sorry for the emotional outburst Ro.” Roman smiled.

“Not a problem stormy. I love and care about you. That's why I married you.” Virgil looked him up and down, smirking

“I suppose there was a reason I married you.”

“Love?”

“Tax benefits.” Roman dramatically placed his hand to his chest, offended. 

“You have fooled me! Bewitched me! Tricked me!” Virgil stifled a laugh. “Betrayal, oh lover of mine, betrayal!” Virgil frowned slightly but tried to keep himself grounded. This is ACTUALLY a joke. He isn’t here. He doesn’t have power over you anymore.You’re OKAY. No. You aren’t. You’re weak and  worthless and you can’t even take a damn joke. Virgil thought he heard Roman asking him something, but the noise in his head was too loud and the world was too blurry. Virgil held his head and covered his eyes,trying to shut out the voice and  thoughts in his head. You have to let one of us win at some point. I don’t want to. Too late. Vaguely, Virgil heard Roman ask a question, but he slipped away.

----------------------------------FLASHBACK BEGINS-------------------------------------------

“You goddamn bitch,” Janus fumed, Virgil shrinking back on the bed. The two had been dating since sophomore year of high school, and now the two shared a dorm in college. “Are you trying to make me angry? Going out without telling me, sleeping in, and refusing to have sex? Its like you don’t care about me anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” Virgil mumbled. Janus scoffed. 

“Yeah right. I bet you’re cheating on me. You are a “bisexual” after all.” Janus got in Virgil’s face. “A fucking whore. I can’t believe you’d actually betray me like this.” Virgil didn’t know when he started crying but tears were pouring down his face. 

“NO! I-I-would never do that to you! I love you Jan! So so much!” Janus sneered, looking at Virgil dead in the eyes.

“Then prove it.” 

-------------------------------------FLASHBACK ENDS------------------------------------------

Roman knew when Virgil started rocking in place, he had to call Remus. He pressed his contact and prayed his brother would pick up. Much to Roman’s relief, he did. 

“Hello Bottom!” Roman sighed.

“For the record I’m a switch. But that's beside the point. Virgil’s having a flashback and I want some backup in case Remy wakes up.” 

“I’m on my way. Be there in five.”

“But you live twenty minutes away. To get here in five minutes you’d have to break numerous laws.”

“FUCK THE LAWS!” Remus screeched through the phone. Roman rolled his eyes and hung up. He then turned to Virgil, kneeling beside him. Roman knew he couldn’t stop the flashback, he just needed to support him. Virgil generally hated being touched in times of extreme panic, so Roman didn’t touch, but instead offered soothing words,knowing the only thing he could do.

“It's okay stormy. It’s just a flashback. It’s not real. I’m here. Everything’s going to be okay. You’re safe. Can you try and breathe for me?” Somehow, through the covered ears, Virgil heard him. Virgil let out a cry of pain and Roman’s heart broke. 

“STOP PLEASE STOP! I SAID I WAS SORRY I PROMISE! I WON’T DO ANYTHING PLEASE ST-” VIrgil was cut off by his own sobs and no doubt something in the flashback. 

Still, Roman kept going, trying to help. “In for six, out for six. I’ll do it with you.” Roman breathed as he said, as loudly as he could. Virgil whimpered and sobbed, but tried. Roman heard the screech of Remus’s car. The door opened quickly and quietly, and Remus went to the kitchen. He went next to his brother and started helping Virgil. This was one of the worst flashbacks Virgil had had in years. 

“Hey Virge, it’s Remus. We’re all gonna breath together. Okay?” At first Virgil didn’t respond, still shaking and sobbing. Then he nodded. “In for four, out for five.” Remus did that with Virgil, while Roman kept assuring him he was safe. Slowly and surely, Virgil took his hands off his ears and started to open his eyes. Roman and Remus were calm and encouraging, soothing him, telling him to tell them what the room looked like.

At first Virgil described his first college dorm, that image burned into his eyelids. But eventually he began to see his home. The home where he lived with Roman and raised Remy. Where he was safe and secure. And Virgil was brought back. He was still shook and though he wanted to be hugged and comforted, he was deathly terrified of it. Roman drapped a heavy blanket over Virgil’s shoulders, one specifically for situations where grounding and security was needed. Remus went upstairs to make sure Remy was asleep. Virgil choked back a small sob. 

“Sorry I freaked out. Again. I wish I could control this damn thing. Its so fucking painful. He’s never coming near me again, hasn’t in years, and he still can hurt me. He still has that fucking power. And I hate that.” Virgil hugged himself with his blanket. 

“Hey, it's not your fault. I should have known that might trigger you. I’ll be more careful in the future.” Virgil chucked a pillow at him, angry.

“But that’s the thing! You shouldn’t have to worry about what triggers me! You shouldn’t have to ask just to tap my shoulder! You shouldn’t be worried that our child might wake up and be scared because his father is screaming and crying on the ground and no one can stop it! You don’t deserve this!” Virgil, said, emotions bubbling and breaking. 

“No Virgil, you don’t. You don’t deserve to feel this type of pain.You deserve happiness and love. And that’s why I am here. Because I know you deserve everything in this world. And I am willing to do whatever it takes to prove to you that you’re worth the world to me. I will never stop loving you. And I will never stop trying to support and be there for you. I made a vow to love you until death, but I know I’ll love you long after.” Virgil went silent. “I  will always be here, by your side.” 

“Big promises princey,” Virgil exhaled quietly. Roman smiles gently at him.

“And I mean every word of them.” Virgil walks up to Roman, embracing him tightly. Roman hugs back, holding him like he’s the world. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

“Right back at you princey,” Virgil whispers into Romans chest. Remus clears his throat and the two look up. 

“I’ll go to the guest room soon so you two can be all romantic on your lonesome. But just thought I’d make you aware, your kid was out cold. He’s impossible to get to sleep but once he is, he is never waking up until morning.” Virgil smiles shakily at him.

“Thanks Remus.” Remus smiled, glancing at the two. 

“Hey, what are awesome brother in-laws for?” Roman shoved him lightly.

“Going away?” 

“Alright, alright jeez. Man, you two lovebirds act like you’re still in your honeymoon phase.” As Remus goes up the stairs, the two embrace, falling asleep on the couch, in the safety of the other’s arms. 

(Just a note, I have never personally met someone who experiences flashbacks, so I wrote this one the best I could with the limited knowledge I have. Also, when I say -----FLASHBACK ENDS--- it just means that we don’t see any more of the flashback. It does not end until Virgil is fully situated and in the present.)

[letscovid19testinglab]

Best Covid -19 testing lab in Jacksonville fl, Rapid PCR Covid test jacksonville fl, Labs in Jacksonville,fl. Same day results covid testing jacksonville, fl. Ace Biomedical Labs, Blood/Chemistry, Toxicology, Corona Virus Antibody & PCR Covid test in Jacksonville. Covid – 19 testing by RT-PCR

[alienstrawberrycosplay]

Queen bowser: @madame_kurie_cosplay Loser: @asc_jkenn Midevil Joker: @supernovabubbles . Anymore would just devolve into a bunch of self hate over losing this cosplay contest because I feel that attacking myself comes off better than saying my not winning anything is/was bullshit & talking about how I got the loudest reaction fro the crowd. . #chainmail #chainmailcosplay #joker #batman #batmanjoker #jokercosplay #chainmailbikini #bowser #bowsercosplay #genderbend #mariobros #toomanygames2018#cosplay #cosplaygirl #girlswhocosplay #maker #cosplayphoto #cosplaycontest #sewing #sewist #horns #nintendo #videogames #villian #ballgown #dressmaking #prettycosplay #j1con #j1studios mastershakecosplay adultswim fatass loser waluigi toxiclogic (at TooManyGames)

[preparetosufferemotionally]

Home, Part 3: Make My Head Stop Spinning

Logicality

TW: Unsympathetic Patton, physical abuse, emotional abuse, threats, manipulation, toxic household, child abuse (only very little), traumatic events, coping mechanisms, fear, fighting, trying to protect someone, loosing friends, rules, toxic logicality, a confused view. 

Emile loved his dads. Of course he did. That’s one of the first things you learn as a child. 

Rule number one, love your parents. But sometimes they made him want to cry. Tomorrow was his first day of kindergarten, and daddy and dad are fighting again. Well, daddy said it wasn’t an argument, it was just a discussion. But it got so loud. And there was crying. And loud thumps. And Emile would run to his dads’ bedroom and beg them to stop. And daddy would be angry. So, dad told him to go back to his room. And he wanted to stay, but he was so so scared, so he ran into his room, grabbed his blanket, pillow, and favorite stuffed animal, a Stitch doll, and hid in his closet, trying to block out the noise. 

Rule number two, listen to your parents. He would always wake up in the closet, dad coming to get him dressed and ready. Daddy normally was leaving for work when he woke up. Dad would make everyone breakfast and then daddy would drive to work. Mornings were always scary, because Emile could feel all the feelings in the air

Rule number three, tread lightly. Dad let him play a lot outside, but on rainy days dad did crafts with him and tried to teach him things. Emile knew all his ABC’s now, and how to count to twenty, which dad said was very hard. He could also spell his name almost perfectly. But dad said to not talk about it too much. Emile didn’t know why, but he listened. 

Rule number four, stay quiet. Then daddy got home from work and played with Emile outside a little bit. When they came in they would have a few minutes before dinner. Dad would stumble out to set the table and bring out the food. Daddy would talk about his day and then ask about Emile’s. Emile would get excited and tell him all about it. Then he was put to bed. Later in the night, he would usually hear yelling. He was trying to get used to it. 

Rule number five, fall asleep alone. So, tonight was the worst argument he’d ever heard, because daddy AND dad were yelling. He could hear snippets, even tucked away in the closet. 

“I just want to take him to school! It's his first day, why can’t he have both of us there?” That was Dad. He wasn’t yelling too loud. It had been hard for Emile to hear, he had to strain to listen. 

“I suggest you learn to shut your mouth Logan, or I’ll shut it for you.” Daddy was not exactly LOUD but he was louder than dad and sounded scary too. 

“He deserves some normality. He hears us screaming almost every night, that must be-” Dad was cut off by a bang and smacking sound. He let out a gasp, and Emile could hear sad in his voice. 

“It’s your fault, Logan. If you just did as I said, we wouldn’t have this issue. Now, apologize to me and do as I say.”

“I-i-i-”

“Sometime tonight!” Daddy snapped. Emile heard a sigh. It sounded sad. 

“I’m sorry. I trust your judgement.” Emile could barely hear dad say that.

‘“I thought so. Now, we’re going to bed.” That was the last thing Emile heard that night, he was so exhausted that he just fell asleep in his closet.

Rule number six, tell no one. That rule was easy to break. Emile never meant to, but it just slipped out a couple times the first day of school. Luckily, no one remembered except him. Or so he thought. 

The first day of school followed the basic routine, except when daddy left for work, he also took Emile to school. Dad gave Emile a hug on the way out, and told him to do his very best. Daddy dropped Emile off with the other kids, taking a picture first before going to work. Emile was kind of scared and lonely. He didn’t see anyone he knew, and everyone else had some adults there with them.  His lip trembled. Suddenly someone ran up to him.

“Emile! We’re going to the same kindergarten! Isn’t it awesome?!” It was Remy, both of his fathers behind him. Emile immediately stopped with the trembling lip, not because Remy was here, but because no one was allowed to see him cry. Emile grinned brightly.

“Hi Remy! Hi Mr. Remy’s dads!” The one in red introduced them, bending down to Emile’s eye level. 

“Hi there Emile. My name is Roman. That’s Virgil.” The other dad in purple waved hello.

“Hi!” Emile waved cheerily before hugging Remy. “Woah I love your backpack!” Remy smiled toothily. 

“Thanks! My papa helped me pick it out!” Emile twisted to show his backpack. 

“My daddy picked this one out! It has cartoons on it!”

“Cool!” 

“Hey kid,” the dad in purple, Virgil?, said quietly, “is your dad here?” 

“Nope!” Emile said cheerily. “He had to go to work.” The two aduts exchanged a look that he probably shouldn’t have seen. Emile panicked inwardly. Oh no, he shouldn’t have said that! Now they’re gonna yell and everyone’s gonna hear. 

But strangely, no one yelled. Instead, Remy kept talking, and when the bell rang he gave his dads a hug and ran into school with Emile. 

Rule number seven, careful around adults. 

A few weeks of school had gone by when Remy’s dads said they could have a playdate at their house. They already met at the park and playground a few times, so Emile’s dads were well aware of the friendship. It would be the first time the two kids were at a playdate with only one set of parents. Emile begged his dads to go, and after some pleading, he could. Instead of walking himself home from school, he got to go in a car with Remy’s dads to Remy’s house. 

Remy was bouncing in his seat. 

“I’m so so so happy you’re coming over!” Emile grinned. 

“Me too!” 

“I have so many things we can do, we can play outside on the swings, and play hide and seek and play chutes and ladders and-” Virgil chuckled in the driver's seat, Roman sitting in the passenger, writing.

“Alright you two, slow your roll. We’re not even home yet.” Remy pouted in his seat. “Hey, I made some delicious cookies for you two for when you get home.” Remy immediately was happy again, gushing about the cookies. 

“Oh yeah, dad makes the best cookies! Oatmeal cookies, but with chocolate chips instead of raisins!” Roman looked up, turning slightly to Virgil, who smirked. Roman rolled his eyes with a smile. Then he looked at a text he just got. 

“Hey Emile, I hope it's okay that Remy’s uncle Remus is coming over today.” Emile, curiously looked at him and then nodded.

“Sure!” Remy was so excited about Emile being here, it appeared he could talk about anything. Soon the two were giggling and talking excitedly. 

When Virgil pulled into the driveway and parked, the two kids tried to jump out a window to get to play. Roman laughed and unlocked the door, the two kids running inside and stealing cookies. 

“Just take off your shoes and put away your backpacks okay? Then you guys can play.”

“Okay papa,” Remy chirped. Emile nodded, already putting his backpack away. Remy rushed with his, practically dragging Emile upstairs to his bedroom. “So what do you wanna play?”

“I don’t know, you pick!” Emile said. Remy smiled excitedly. 

“Wanna play dress up?”

“Yeah!” Remy went into his closet and immediately started to toss out costumes.

“Pick one! Wanna be the princess or the prince?” Emile thought for a second.

“The princess!” 

“YAY!” 

The two kids played for hours in Remy’s room, telling a tale, with stuffed animals being the villains and the two kids being the two heroic royals who saved the day and each other, numerous times. At dusk, it was almost time to leave. 

“Hey Remy and Emile, time for Emile to go home. We’re dropping him off.”

“Noooo. We were about to slay the dragon!” Roman appeared at the door, swinging Remy up in the air. 

“Is that so?” 

“Well, Emi wanted to be friends with it until it killed Gigi,” Remy pointed to the stuffed pig covered in a red blanket in the corner. 

“Well, slay the dragon tomorrow, and avenge Gigi’s death! But, Emile’s dad did ask for him to be home by 6, so we need to leave soon. You can come drop him off with us if you want.” Emile stood there, watching the exchange.

Rule number eight, don’t complain. 

“Okay dad!” Quickly Remy started to clean up, Roman aiding his son. Emile, watched, slowly coming over to help. 

“Oh it's okay, Emile, you’re a guest. You don’t have to help.” 

“I don’t mind, I want to help.” Roman looked Emile doubtfully.

“You sure?” Emile nodded eagerly. 

“Yup Mr. Roman.” Roman chuckled lightly.

“Well okay then.” 

Rule number nine, always help. Emile noticed it was getting dark out. He wondered when Remy’s dads would start to argue. Still, he helped finish up cleaning and then went down stairs. 

“Alright two brave questers, get on your shoes please,” Roman turned to Emile, handing him his backpack. “Here’s your backpack. Now, can you two head out to the car? I’m just going to ask Remy’s papa if he wants to come.” 

“K dad!” Remy said brightly, and took Emile to the car, both of them buckling in. Emile nervously asked a question.

“Hey, uh, Remy? Why is it so quiet?” Remy looked confused.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Emile elaborated.

“It's almost dark out. That means loud noises start now.” Remy wrinkled his nose.

“No they don’t. What are you talking about Emi?” Emile quickly backtracked.

“Nevermind.”

“Okay!” Remy’s dad came into the car with Remy’s papa, starting to drive. Emile was home far too soon for his taste. It was quiet. But he didn’t know how long. Remy and Remy’s dad walked him up to the door. As soon as they knocked, Emile’s daddy opened the door, Emile’s dad nowhere in sight. Emile’s daddy gave him a quick hug, before escorting them in. The adults talked a little before they left.

Then on the way out of the house, Remy asked a question.

“Hey dad, what loud noises start at night?” Emi said there are loud noises when it's dark, but I never hear them.” (GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THAT GUTTER)  Roman froze and Patton quickly shut and locked the door. Emile didn’t see what happened next outside. 

“LOGAN!” Emile’s daddy shouted, gripping Emile’s shoulders tight. Emile wants to cover his ears and cry. He didn’t know what he did, but something was wrong. Emile’s dad ran down the stairs quickly, old glasses askew.

“Yes?” He asked softly. “What do you require?” Patton rolled his eyes, and shook Emile slightly. 

“Your son just said something to them,” Patton said, his voice filled with rage. Emile was so scared. Daddy was yelling and shaking him and his grip hurt and he just wanted to be safe. Logan flinched. “He just said something about the disagreements!”

“Patton, please let Emile go. You’re scaring him.” Logan desperately tried to remain calm, his voice wavering. Patton snorted. 

“He should be.” Emile started to panic, tears pouring down his face. He tried to wiggle out of the grip that tightened, panicking. Logan began to beg.

“Please let him go, he’s five, he didn’t know any better, please he’s just a child Patton, you’re scaring him!” Patton ignored him as Emile kept crying. Then Logan said the one thing that would push the attention off of Emile. “I told him to say it.” Patton’s grip loosened on Emile’s shoulders and Emile immediately ran toward Logan in terror, hugging him and crying.

“You what?” Patton said, dangerously angry again. Logan picked Emile up, trying to soothe him. Logan tried not to wilt at the look Patton gave him. 

“I just thought it would be a good idea to say something.” Patton kept glaring before coming up to Logan’s ear. Emile finally stopped crying in Logan’s arms.

“You do something like this ever again, and I promise, he won’t just be terrified,” Patton hissed in Logan’s ear. Logan turned pale and nodded. “As for you, I don’t think you should be friends with the Empires. No talking to them ever again okay?” Patton sounded calmer and more soothing. “Its for your own good kiddo.” Emile nodded.

“Okay daddy.” 

“Now time for bed.” 

Rule number ten, don’t have friends. It's too easy to get hurt. 

Emile listened to his father. When he went to school the next day, he didn’t so much as glance at Remy, even though he felt sad. He only caught one glimpse of Remy on the way out of school. It looked like he had been crying. By the time they were in fourth grade, Emile was a completely different person, and so was Remy. Everyone at school had eventually heard of the dramatic end to their friendship and how it ended them both. Remy became known as the gay J.D. and Emile as the therapist friend you can always talk to. By 7th grade, the two barely passed each other in hallways. And by highschool, Emile forgot someone named Remy Empire ever existed. 

[preparetosufferemotionally]

Home, Part four: First Impressions, Round Two

Remile and Prinxiety and hinted Logicality

TW: Unsympathetic Patton, child abuse, using others to get revenge, Remus, toxic relationship, abuse in general, cursing.

The school day started like normal. A loud bell rang, and chatter filled the halls with endless noise. Lockers slamming, teachers scolding about the dress code or other nonsense, and the general aura of chaos. Ah, school. Remy hated it.

He hated it, and then he saw Emile, standing in a corner, talking quietly to some people. Remy leaned forward to eavesdrop, fully prepared to turn away if it wasn’t something Emile related.

“I can’t believe he did that to you. He should get suspended!” One of the girls fumed. Emile shifted uncomfortably.

“It's fine, really. It wasn’t anything too bad. He just grabbed my arm.”

“Emile, that counts as assault.He could be arrested for that!” Remy lowered his eyes guilty. Not his finest moment.

“Yeah seriously, that's not right,” a person added.

“Plus, it wouldn’t hurt for him to finally have a taste of his own medicine,” a boy muttered. Emile exhaled.

“Look, it's very kind of you, but I’m fine. Besides, if you believe in exacting revenge on him, please leave me out of it. I’m not going to be the reason someone else suffers…” Emile trailed off. No one but Remy seemed to notice. The group wandered off, annoyed. Emile hugged himself, and sat down in front of his locker, reading. Remy stepped forward.

“Hey,” Remy said quietly, almost apologetic. Emile jumped, turning around.

“It's you,” He whispered. Remy shoved his hands in his pockets, looking down.

“It's me,” He admitted. “Look, I’m sorry about what happened yesterday. I got upset and I acted out of control and-”

“Oh it's not a big deal, it's fine, it's fine, fine fine,” Emile whispered quietly. Remy looked at him, concerned as he muttered fine over and over again.

“No, it's not.” Remy ran a hand through his hair, nervous. “You reminded me of someone I once knew, and I-” he paused, debating what he should say. “I lashed out, because that person hurt me.” Emile looked at him in confusion and hurt, as though he believed it to be his fault.

“But you knew my name.” Remy laughed slightly.

“Everyone knows your name. Just like they all know mine.” Emile still looked at him, confused.

“Even if that was what happened, who could hurt you?” Emile asked. “People come to me remedy broken hearts you destroyed, so how could someone have hurt you?” Hurt and a twinge of resignation flashed across both faces. Remy took a deep breath.

“They didn’t mean it. I’m pretty sure it was someone else's fault. But I couldn’t see their puppet strings. And I couldn’t understand the world wasn’t just made up of good and evil,” Remy said quietly. Emile watched.

“Why do I feel so sure I know you?” He muttered, half to himself, half to Remy. Remy whispered quietly.

“You did once.” With that, Remy walked away, leaving a surprised and confused look on Emile’s face. He entered the english classroom.

As usual, the first period teacher was late again. Bored, Remy scrolled through his phone, checking his instagram. Unsurprisingly, pictures of exes popped up. He wondered if he should like a picture of them, just to make them think. But for Remy, it felt too cruel. He decided to leave those people and their broken hearts in peace. Then the door swung open.

“Hey kids, Mrs. Harwood is on maternity leave, so I’m your substitute for the next few months.” Remy inhaled before he looked up. Please don’t be who he thinks he is. “Please put your phones away, and then we can start the lesson.” Remy put away his phone, but not before taking a quick picture of a smiling Patton Hart.

Somewhere in the back row, a strangled gasp of surprise exited someone’s mouth. And if Remy had to bet anyone else, anyone who might be affected by the presence of Patton Hart, it was Emile Hart. Patton Hart clapped his hands, still smiling brightly.

“It's lovely to meet such amazing students. My name is Mr. Hart, and I hope to get to know you all better as the school year continues.” The students whispered, some laughing, some uncaring, but none as surprised as the unlikely pair, separated by a row of seating. “Alright, I’ll call attendance now. Oh and any pronouns you want me to use, just let me know! Anthony, Kyle?”

“Here,” The boy who was talking to Emile said. Remy nearly slapped his head on the table. Oh, that was the one who used to have internalized homophobia!

“Conner, Mia?”

“Present Mr. Hart.” Patton paused after her name, eyes almost narrowing in surprise.

“Empire-black, Jeremy?”

“Thats me Mr. Hart. But call me Remy if you would. Thanks, teach,” Remy said, leaning back on his desk nonchalantly as though he didn’t remember any of the childhood catstropes. As though Patton Hart wasn’t the reason he lost his best friend. Patton stared for a second, and then he cleared his throat, continuing. Remy pushed up his sunglasses, running a hand through his curly black hair, a trait which both his fathers contributed to.

“Of course, I’ll write it down. Now, Gronsanki, Nyx?”

“Here!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The bell finally rang, ending the class. Remy started to leave when Mr. Hart stopped him.

“Mr. Empire, come here please.” Remy sauntered over, faking confidence. He saw Emile still frozen in the back of class.

“Yeah teach? I have to leave soon, or I’ll be late to my next class.”

“I’m sure that won’t be an issue for you,” Mr. Hart said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.”Take a seat.” Remy sat down reluctantly.

“So, what's happening, teach? I didn’t do anything in your class yet.” Mr. Hart kept smiling, the smile cold and unforgiving.

“Did I teach you in preschool? Your name sounds familiar.”

“Not sure teach, can’t really remember things until you’re at least seven you know.” Remy shrugged, adjusting his leather jacket. “You might know my dads. The local author and illustrator duo? Ring any bells?”

“You are so like your father,” He muttered, almost hissing. Remy heard.

“Sorry, what was that teach?” Mr. Hart stood up, smiling brightly again.

“I think I’ve seen your father around. You resemble him quite a bit.” Remy quirked a smile. Liar.

“Aww thanks teach, I’m touched. Now can I get going? I have chemistry next period, and I can’t be late.”

“Of course. Have a good day. And please, do be careful.” Mr. Hart smiled. Remy did finger guns.

“Yeah, you too teach.” He stepped out of the classroom, and ran to chemistry, sending his dads and uncle the picture and a text.

Meet my new substitute.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“I AM NOT BEING HELD BACK ANY LONGER ROMAN! THAT BITCH IS GOING TO DIE! HE THREATENED MY SON!” Roman was desperately trying to stop Virgil from storming down to Sanders High School, and failing miserably. He stood in front of the door, his small angry husband about to attack him and break down the door.

“He didn’t threaten him, Virgil.” Remy walked in from the living room, shrugging.

“He kinda did dad.” Roman looked at him, exasperated.

“You aren’t helping!” Roman face Virgil. “He never made an outward threat to him. And if you storm down and deck him, YOU look guilty, not him.”

“Why do we keep stopping Roman? Why can’t we fucking give that bitch what he deserves.” Roman sighed. He was getting tired. He just wanted to protect his family. But he knew Virgil did too. And sadly, this was the one sore point.

“Fine. But we aren’t going to attack him. We will go about it in a legal setting.” Virgil stared at him.

“You mean, sue him?”

“Basically, yeah.” Virgil exhaled.

“Alright. Then we need our evidence. I’ll see what I can find.”

“I’ll get Remus on the science side of things.” Remy tapped Virgil on the shoulder.

“Hey pops, what should I do?” Virgil sighed.

“Just try to go to school normally. But if you do get pulled aside by him again, have your phone record the entire conversation, just in case, alright?” Remy nodded.

“Alright.” Virgil turned to Roman, watching Remy leave.

“It's time that he gets what he deserves.” Roman smiled, as Virgil hugged him. Maybe they could win this time.