#toxic yuri is the thing that keeps me alive

[bloodismymedium]

Mona x Tina Toxic Yuri Headcanons because I’m a bad person 🫀🌸🔪🧁

Ya’ll can blame @dollsleeper for giving me the toxic yuri bug. I am officially a Tona shipper thanks to them XD

TW: references to sexual assault, stockholm syndrome, stalking and abuse

☠️ Mona didn’t think much of Tina when she first laid eyes on her, she was just another piece of meat to be used in her art, what really made her fall in love with Tina was when she heard her scream. She heard so many screams before her and always took twisted pleasure in hearing the screams of her victims but Tina’s screams just hit different, it was like a beautiful song to her and she wanted to hear it forever. Ironically, Tina’s screaming was what saved her life because it made Mona do what she never did with any of her victims… she hesitated in killing her. Mona would have many lesbian thoughts about Tina since that fateful day, she often wondered how soft her hair must be and how much she yearned to smell the perfume on her body again.

☠️ Mona became completely obsessed with Tina after hearing that beautiful scream of her’s and would end up stalking her for the next two years, memorizing her schedule, occasionally stealing her belongings but she didn’t make a move on her until after watching her interview. Mona took Tina’s “once you’ve been to hell, you don’t come back” quote as a sign that Tina wanted to come back to her, like a piece of her was still with Mona since that day and she was beckoning Mona to take her back… It was the most romantic thing Mona has ever heard in her life.

☠️ Mona actually tries to make sure Tina is as comfortable as possible. She took her beautiful, bloodstained lace bedsheets with her to put over the dirty mattress she has Tina placed on, she actually cooks her food even if they don’t turn out right most of the time, she’ll cuddle up with her if she looks like she’s cold, she’ll check to see if the pretty pink collar she picked out for her isn’t too tight, she even bathes her semi-frequently.

☠️ Tina is constantly trying to fight off the warm, fuzzy feelings that Mona gives her. She doesn’t want to admit how much she melts when Mona touches her thigh, she hates how good she feels when Mona says things like “you inspire me so much” and “you’re so pretty when you cry”, she finds herself actually blushing when Mona compliments her. Every day is an inner war to stop herself from falling in love with the woman who killed everyone around her, dismembered her and now keeps her hostage in what looks and smells like a lived in sewer.

☠️ Tina hates herself for finding Mona so pretty, she’s a monster, one who killed her sister, her boyfriend and her mother, mutilated her, keeping her alive just to treat her like some kind of toy or pet… and yet she thinks her long, black hair is so pretty, her eyes so beautifully haunting, the expressions she makes when she paints those horrible portraits are strangely charming, that course yet oddly soothing voice that makes her feel a strange combo of fear and comfort. She just can’t keep Mona out of her head and she hates it.

☠️ Mona loves to doll up Tina, dressing her up in pretty outfits and doing her makeup, trying out different hairstyles, she would even do her nails if she still had hands. Tina hates this but she’s learned not to fight back, having come to fear making Mona angry and besides, every day, against her better judgement she likes Mona’s games of dress up a tiny bit more. Mona knows this too, remembering the time when Tina blushed after Mona said she had good fashion sense.

☠️ Mona and Tina surprisingly have a lot of common. They both have a major sweet tooth, they both have a love for nature even though Tina is a deer girl and flower enjoyer while Mona is a rat and bug lady who collects molds, spores and fungus, they both have artistic talent and an interest in the arts (Tina being a knitter and sewer) and they even have a shared quirk in a tendency to play around with their hair when bored or anxious.

☠️ Tina is bisexual but she’s kept her sexuality a secret from her mother since she’s a conservative christian type and she feared she wouldn’t accept her if she found out, Jack and Flora both knew however. It can be surmised that Mona is pan since she has a very “a hole is a hole” mentality when it comes to sex but she wouldn’t identify as pansexual since she doesn’t really care for labels.

☠️ Shockingly, Mona hasn’t gone too far in forcing herself upon Tina. She could easily subject her to her darkest, sexual fantasies like she has done to so many others and you better believe she’s had some real devious thoughts and yet the worst she’s done to her is groping/squeezing her breasts and thighs on a regular basis or licking her face. Tina of course is horrified and disgusted by these acts and yet… why does her face and nethers feel so warm when she does it? And why does she whimper and mew the way she does when Mona bites her neck and shoulders even when she draws blood? And why does she always kind of look forward to when Mona cuddles up to her even when she’s soaking in blood?…

☠️ Bill is VERY jealous of all the attention Tina gets from Mona and is always thinking about murdering and getting rid of her so that he can be Mona’s “favorite” again but has enough smarts left to know that he would be severely punished, maybe even killed if he did so he has no choice but to grit and bare it. His patience will always be tested when Mona talks about her while they’re out murdering like when Mona finds some kind of accessory or article of clothing and will ask Bill “do you think Tina would like this?”. Bill will scare the shit out of Tina when Mona isn’t around in a vain attempt at revenge against her.

[shiveringgroovy]

coming off anon to feed you more headcanon asks

you answered an ask about social medias but heres for the real good stuff

fandom headcanons? who watches what, who reads, who is blissfully unaware of the community they're surrounded by, etc

jesus christ i'm going insane for this one. started this in april uhm hi chat i'm alive again (october)

ATSUSHI

doesn't participate in fandom spaces tbh

but he's into some old-school games

don't ask me why i think this but he's an emulator guy

DAZAI

HOMESTUCK. HE WAS IN THE HOMESTUCK FANDOM NO I DO NOT TAKE CRITIQUE

crazy into it too. keyboard warrior about it. ranpo was there

bless his heart

YOSANO

cult classic films !!

really into the craft, kill bill, maybe the scream franchise ? also perchance saw but not after the third movie

doesn't participate in online fandom spaces because she has better media literacy than everyone else

RANPO

homestuck and hetalia

need i say more

KYOUKA

saw because yosano got her into it. (her favorite is saw 3 because yuri)

and sanrio. ik it's a common headcanon but i think it fits !!!

loves a lot horror films/franchises but saw, the exorcist, and alien are her favs

also i think she likes cheesy shoujo romance anime!!!

HIGUCHI

you can't tell me she's not a himefujoshi on ao3 and tumblr

into tons of animes and shows

writes insane comments on ao3 too. many an author has questioned her sanity

has gotten into proship discourse before

she also like vocaloid, her favorite is megurine luka and has visceral reactions when you call teto a vocaloid

CHUUYA

be fr he would not give a shit about fandoms

dazai tried to get him into some of the stuff he liked as a teen but it never worked

he watched breaking bad though i guess

GIN

they loveee the scream franchise

has a ghostface mask they post pictures with from time to time

does not play at ALL about stu/billy

TACHIHARA

also into scream

really likes video games as well!! legend of zelda and the elder scrolls WHOA WHO SAID THAT

LOUISA

she's a fujoshi. draws yaoi on her plans

only really into fluffy stuff

tumblr girlie for SURE. hides her account like drugs even though it's just fluffy bl manga and art

NIKOLAI

he's a horror fiend and lurks online for content because duh

watches heavy gore/body horror films like it's instagram reels

i think he tries to keep his digital footprint clean for obvious reasons but if he sees a take so bad he'll tell op to die brutally

he's totally that guy to say "this is MILDDD" to the people he's watching american psycho with. he's an ass about his preferences sorry

SIGMA

they have better things to do ???

TERUKO

idk how to explain it but she's really into nana, tomie, uzumaki, and other darker/grittier manga/anime

and yuri/gl. she doesn't play about her toxic screwed up yuri

she seems like a whump fan. fucking up that dead dove with her hunting dog teeth

[falst]

bestie can i know more about this coin guy of yours. your posting has intrigued me

^ THIS GUY !!

my coin thing tag has a lot about him and his friends (mostly art, I leave most of my textposts untagged lol) But Coins an OC I've had since around the beginning of the year who took over my brain bc Im a fan of guys with long hair and issues lmao. More about him under the cut bc this was a lot longer than I had expected

He a traveling huntsman (not a fancy term, hes just really good at hunting animals) who lost an arm in a "hunting accident" he would not talk about if someone tried to waterboard it out of him. (had a nasty argument with his former hunting partners, fucked off, got his arm cut off. never told anyone what happened)

To most he comes across hes a tired guy who seems at least somewhat disconnected from the world around him whos looking for jobs to get the money he needs to keep himself alive and not much else. That is until he saves a rich girl named Charlotte from some sort of monster thing (I havent figured out what it is yet), and she offers him a job as a guard as she travels to a southern country. He agrees due to the pay being good, despite the fact hes been isolating himself from people for years bc of severe depression 'people are annoying'. Along the way the two pick up some other weirdos, mostly bc Charlottes really friendly and likes to pick up new friends, much to Coins annoyance.

Things then Happen, Occur even, but I am saving those for later. BUT!! some other, non. idk. spoilery fun facts about him are;

He grew up in a small countryside village where he learned to hunt and swordfight

His father left when he was really little and he sees no reason to care about him. His mother owns and works in the towns butcher shop and taught him to hunt. He's also got an older brother and younger sister

His younger sister is a recently turned werewolf who got drafted into a secret vampire turf war bc the vampires, for some reason, thought she was a vampire. There is one (1) vampire who knows shes a werewolf who she has insane toxic yuri with. He knows about literally none of this

He was extremely proficient with a bow before losing his arm, and also fought with dual swords. He really misses doing both of these

He was left handed. Lost his left arm

He has chronic insomnia and after being knocked out with sleeping powder by Charlottes pirate bestie (long story), he started snorting it to get to sleep bc straight up cant otherwise. They later meet and begin traveling with a doctor who almost kills him over this

He's not a magic user but seems completely immune to side effects caused by spells that happen to non-mages as a result of their bodies not being used to magic. Odd!

Theres a pink haired guy who he keeps running into at bars and inns who is ridiculously in love with him. Coin hates him and wants nothing to with him

Coins name means something relating to hunting in his native language, and he chose his name without knowing it was a term for currency in the second language he learns to speak later. He decided to stick with it

IRL his name came from me going "damn. I have no idea what to name this guy." and a friend of mine going "COIN" immediately after. I said I could not possibly name him that and then did

Coin and Charlotte are literally the only two people/things I have named for this thing despite having it for months bc I am really bad at naming things

He gets a gun at some point

[patrochillesvibes]

First of all thank you for your fic recs I love them they're one of the only things keeping me alive I love ya🙏

Secondly I was curious if you've got any hcs for fem patrochilles? (Feel free to yap as much as you want 🙃)

lol same, patrochilles is the only thing keeping me alive atp. Be sure to make it till Friday because I got another one in the queue!

~

Pyrrha 😍 I LOVE her 🥰

I LOVE to have fun with gender through Achilles bcs so many people prefer to see him as this traditional masc stereotypical hero (Brad Pitt in Troy, Thor knockoff in Hades Game), and the Skyros arc is right there 👈 What an amazing set up in the text to explore, with little stretch of canon, Achilles being a transman or Pyrrha being a transwoman 😚 We are so blessed with such fertile ground to explore gender.

I, however, do not explore gender with Patroclus.

There is this tendency for people, typically antis, to have a heternormative and sexist take of TSoA’s Pat because he GASP has feelings. way to reveal you’ve been brainwashed by toxic masculinity, nice job

Anyways, the situation is a bit of hornet’s nest to me. In addition to this shockingly incorrect take on TSoA Patroclus, there’s also this deeply concerning obsession with giving Patorlcus a vagina. Nothing wrong with twinks. Nothing wrong with femmes. Nothing wrong with queens. Nothing wrong with transmen.

BUT

When you put the two together, the femme reading and the vagina, well… I don’t have the language to express how it leaves me with a bad taste my mouth.

I do believe people should be exploring Patroclus’ gender, but I can’t be one of them. I’m sorry. I know everyone seems to be having fun with yuri patrochilles, but it’s not for me.

I would, however, be happy to answer any asks you might have on Pyrrha 🥰

[kimberlyannharts]

misc thoughts on Issue #119 -

= Aggressively heterosexual montage is aggressively heterosexual. It's a little frustrating to talk about because I know my bias towards Tomberly shows here but when the event itself is clearly trying to put all three romances on equal grounding, it's really obvious how halfbaked are the other two are compared to Tomberly, because Tomberly was the only romance with actual stakes and an arc in this. And Tomberly just has the luxury of being a thing ever since....issue #0 while this event was just the start of Zack/Trini and M*tt/Aisha. (Also, the Zack/Trini first kiss was oddly subdued for how much their romance has been a part of this and framed as the most perfect romance ever. Jason/Trini got like.......a sunrise kiss that took up half a page along with a cover and that's been reduced to "we made out a lot but overall it was nothing serious")

= Actually now that I think about it, is the point to all these romances that Billy feels alone by nature of him not having one? Because that's. well. hm

= Maybe I'm also bitter because the next scene is Trini/Kiya where they keep shoving it in our faces how Kiya is just soooooooo terrible and didn't deserrrrrrrrrve the Omega powers like Yale did christ alive. The comics' obsession with Kiya being one of their worst villains ever needs to be studied but also it's great because I love the toxic yuri

= Speaking of which how did Kiya find the Cosmic Fury Rangers on her trip. It's not like she left through the Arch to travel through time/dimensions or something, she's been traveling in this prime dimension's space. Also it sucks that the Cosmic Fury Rangers couldn't have a real part in all this. Amelia Jones: first female red ranger to not be important to the comics

= I still don't feel sorry for Rita. Sucks that you're in the dumpster and depressed but you literally unleashed Satan along with mentally and physically torturing teenagers

= Obligatory mention to how The Coinless established that the White Coin can't be split but we're just doing it here because we want to parallel how Tommy gave up his Green powers back in Kyle's run. At least it's allowing Tommy some agency and leadership in this event for once. And Kim reminding everyone it's his choice and the finger-locking was very sweet

= Evil!Tanya knowing about the Void when her memory of that was supposed to have been erased is another continuity error but at the same time it's really the only time in this event the Rangers turning evil was used to like....exploit their secrets and stuff. Still very odd to me that the cover where evil!Rocky and Adam invade and smash up the Command Center never actually happens in the story. Though weirdly enough next issue will have Dayne say SLAYER told them about the Void, which makes more sense as Slayer didn't lose her memories. whatever.

= Speaking of the corrupted Rangers, Evil!Rocky and Adam continue to be played weirdly for comedy despite how this is clearly supposed to be dramatic. That whole fight scene with them and Hyperforce Dad is particularly heavy with the ~witty quips~ and it feels very out of place, tonally

= White Combo suits are fine. They do what they're meant to do. Unfortunately Ranger Slayer's is probably the worst because of how....naked it looks compared to her previous suits. She should have kept her cape at the very least

= This is another one of the better issues of the event, since it genuinely feels like things are finally progressing because the characters actually have a PLAN and are going to work to PULL OFF THAT PLAN rather than everyone just kinda sitting around and twiddling their thumbs while the smart people do everything. It's a shame the next two issues will like.....immediately ruin that vibe because suddenly those plans get ground to a halt lmao

[anachronisticmech]

Please tell me about your ocs I’d love to hear <3

YAY okay so my first oc is Marius (they/them or he/she, I haven’t decided yet. White[?], intersex polyam aroace, seems to be in their 40s, started off as a sona but is still a self insert), then we have Bonnie (she/her, aboriginal, bi polyam trans woman/sistergirl, seems to be in her 40s), and finally Edward (he/him, Indian and Dutch, polyam bi trans man, seems to be in his 40s)! Relationship wise, Marius is in a qpr with Bonnie and Edward, who are married.

Content warning for like violence and minor descriptions of gore and cannibalism and unhealthy relationships and (mcd) death and corpses!

So Marius is an Angel sent to earth (specifically Australia because hell yeah represent) to help the survivors of a major world wide nuclear destruction or attack. Marius soon learns that most survivors are vampires, who feel the affects of the radiation much slower. Marius eventually gets eaten and gutted and killed by a group of vampires before being picked up by another group of vampires and taken to this shelter/institution where Bonnie and Edward work together to bring Marius back to life.

Also worth mentioning that Marius had known and helped Bonnie back when she was still alive/not a vampire with like science shit and also before bonnie dug up Edward and brought him back to life (Bonnie did this in the 1970s and Edward had died in the 1940s)

So Marius is brought back wrong (used to be really happy and cheerful and shit but is now really angry and aggressive but still loving. I’m pushing all my aggression and possible npd/bpd traits into them it’s great) and is now an atypical vampire (since they were just given vampire body parts that corrupted the rest of their body instead of being sired)

Marius struggles with like religious guilt and shit as well as new feeling of decay

At this point I should also share the vampires in my worlds like idk shit.

Vampirism is more of a chronic illness. Most vampires are not sired, and are born with vampirism. Once they die of the symptoms (usually in their 40s-60s) they are now a vampire. Vampires are constantly going through the human decaying process at a slower rate to normal corpses, and don’t feel affects of other illnesses the same or at all. Every month or so they have to bury themselves in the ground to restart the decaying process and get their body back in shape. It can take longer depending on how far into the decaying process their were. Also they have to do this if they are badly injured. They will fully decay and not be able to be brought back (unless I guess bonnie the mad scientist she is brings them back) if they don’t bury themselves.

So anyways Marius doesn’t know how to show their love for Bonnie and Edward, and is also being visited by their Angel spouse (don’t know anything about them yet) so they are just having a rough time with those emotions and also just vampiric stuff. So marius thinks the best way to show their love is to cannibalise Bonnie and Edward. Keep in mind marius thinks this is a human kind of thing to do. This relationship actively hurts everyone involved but they do love each other very much so yay we love toxic yuri/yaoi 💪💪💪

There’s some stuff with the ending where basically marius’ Angel spouse comes and is upset and they argue about marius not loving them anymore and marius cannibalises them but that just kills them and then heaven is sent down to take marius back and punish them so they get Bonnie to kill them and never bury them again it’s pretty wild

FUCK okay edit I forgot to mention that the shelter/institute is a shelter for any vampire who wants to stay and for vampires to research the nuclear shit around them as well as general vampirism shit. Bonnie is just the token mad scientist but Edward is the leading librarian as well as Bonnie’s lab assistant. Bonnie is girlboss and Edward is loser husband <333

I have a wip drawing I can show! No ID or alt because I’m very low on spoons from all this typing and calling people earlier but here they are :3

I also have an oc sideblog I don’t use much @mariustheangel

OKAY SECOND EDIT here is my playlist for all the characters

[aquariusdegel]

actually yknow what before I write a fic or a structured essay about the details of how Yuris story should have ended, I’m just going to write down my visceral and screaming reactions. Spoilers for tiger and bunny season 2 cour 2.

Because I broke down crying several times in public today thinking about how Yuri “died” alone and hating himself and how no one, not a single person, tried to save him this ENTIRE 12 EPISODES. You’ve had multiple instances of heroes going out of their ways to apprehend criminals and murderers and plead to save people over and over cause that’s what heroes do. Kotetsu not ten minutes after Yuri “died” saying “if i can save someone then I’ll do my best and put 100% into it” . What a punch in the gut after Kotetsu spent maybe 2% of an effort trying to save Yuri. Yes,died is in quotations, I know they’re trying to keep it ambiguous but hell, the finality of that scene sure seemed like a death scene to casual viewers. FUCK.

I’m not even against killing Yuri because the action WAS in character. But it sure wasn’t consistent with the rest of the damn cour, nor season, nor characters, NOR ENTIRE SHOW. BECAUSE WHAT THE HELL WAS THE POINT OF EPISODE 20 THEN??? I found so much strength in episode 20. If Yuri could get through his darkest hour to see the dawn I thought hey yknow, maybe that’s how things go, you gotta suffer a bit to see the light rising. What is Yuris dawn exactly? What was his suffering for?? Why was he shown happy and peaceful only for his mom to be murdered, his body to be controlled (after he saved the day) and beat up and then BEAT UP AGAIN. AND THEN DIE.

Holy hell, Yuri, the public servant who spends his days and nights protecting the peace and law of Sternbild, who counsels the buddy heroes and smiles when he sees them doing the right thing, who tries and changes who he is by retiring lunatic when he’s director. This is how they treat his character? Because he makes the mistake of being traumatized and having a toxic coping strategy that just needs to be addressed and helped with. You literally have criminals who blow up people without remorse and miraculously he’s captured alive. But Yuri,” a true hero “ said Barnaby , is discarded.

and holy hell Kotetsu, the person who was positioned to be the best to reach out to Yuri and save him… Didn’t and barely gave him another thought. Yuri literally took a bullet for him in s1. Yuri constantly smiles at him and his actions. Yuri listened to Kotetsus words in the rising to actively change his path. And Kotetsu, did nothing…. For Yuri in the end. When Yuri needed him the most (guess this wouldn’t have happened if Keith “it doesn’t matter who you are I will save you” Goodman was there instead.) What were they thinking? This is our hero? Who did he even save in the end? He just helped stop Audun. All this talk about what it meant to be a hero but he couldn’t even save Yuri.

it hurts me to see other people who found the conclusion of this broken abused yet caring person to be relatable and hopeful, react as pained as I have. In a way they dangled his happy ending in front of us throughout s2. Look at director petrov, isn’t he silly? Haha vampire boss. Haha where’s Lunatic…

there’s a reason why people commenting about Yuri were wishing for his health and safety and happiness when the trailer dropped. We can all see that he’s in pain and needed a friend, or a helping hand more than anyone else… and they never gave it to him. They just broke him. Again and again. Even when he was doing the right thing. Again and again.

……..

I know that fiction and stories aren’t written for fans. They’re supposed to be the vision of the storyteller. I understand from a thematic point of view, this is the tragedy of an antihero. but I also know the people who wanted to see him happy… they’re people who understand that pain and also wanted to be happy or okay or even just…. Alive. To see a character who struggled for so long to be better and happy and willing to help out the heroes, end up just… giving up. I sincerely hope that people will be alright after this. I know that if I watched what this show did to Yuri when I was 19 and extremely depressed, I might have felt even more hopeless. The heroes who smile and pair off, think nothing of their lonely hardworking director.

If you’re reading this and feel similarly pained by the end of his character arc, then I hope you take care of yourself. Take a rest, go outside, talk to a friend. Things do get better and people do want to help.

[wyrdle]

Yuri Survives AU

(or at least until I can think of a new name lol)

Decided to make a proper text post exploring my thoughts about Tiger and Bunny 2 + rationale for keeping Yuri alive + tiger and bunny helping him in secret.

Spoilers abound of course!

Basic thoughts about Ep 20/Ep25: What a beautifully devastating episode! I think this ep very clearly, was showing how killing Mr Legend truly affected Yuri. Yuri himself knows rationally that it was out of self defence, but there’s plenty of guilt, so much so that his mind conjures hallucinations of his father to hurl abuse at him and call him a murderer. (Also, him experiencing so much torn up feelings about this death that he creates Lunatic to enact “justice” on others, of course. AKA “I wasn’t wrong back then and I am not wrong now!” is Yuri’s extremely toxic means of justifying his father’s death.)

Anyway, I think Olga, who had been hurling accusations at him, and her death was very much needed for him to clear his head and truly shake up his ideas about “justice”. To quote the Mr Legend vision, which is and always has been Yuri’s guilty conscience tbh, there are so many holes/inconsistencies in his idea of justice by death. In this ep, Yuri’s ideas are fully shaken, and I think he’s very much on the road of accepting the distinction between:

He was not wrong for killing his father

His actions as Lunatic were wrong, and Yuri does feel some sense of remorse for his actions. 

I think that second point requires a bit more reinforcement from the show, so that’s what I’ll accept as my fanon. As in, I wish there were more scenes of Yuri poring over his victim’s files, data, evidence etc. Basically stuff that’d tell us that Yuri doesn’t enjoy any of what he did, made sure that the evidence that these were terrible/horrible people was fool proof, and through the death of his mother, realised the futility/cruelty of his “justice”/actions as Lunatic.

This is still very early stages though, and shaky, hence why he still flies over to kill the Mayor despite the character development, I suppose. I’m not a huge fan of the whole “this was my voice afterall”, because it’s vague and I *guess* you could spin it as Yuri realising he doesn’t actually want Lunatic/Vigilante Murderer etc. but eh. Him helping out Tiger and Bunny though, I think makes sense. Lol idk this episode was just whacky. I think I’d have preferred to have Lunatic just silently helping tiger and bunny, none of the mayor stuff etc.

Anyway, I do think Yuri’s suicide makes sense, though probably better with some tweaks to the build up to it, because I see it as: Lunatic’s final act being to purge Lunatic, a criminal.

Again, getting it through to Yuri that death is not the answer to criminals is a tough one, but he’s getting there. It’s an admission that Yuri was indeed, wrong, to have killed criminals as Lunatic, and a true sign of his remorse over the whole thing. For a character to redeem themselves, they need to show remorse/regret over their actions. I think this death would be suited, if they’d led up to it better as opposed to Tiger + Bunny praising him etc. I’d have preferred seeing some insight into Yuri’s thoughts more, rather than the hero’s observations.

ANYWAY. This brings me to why I made my AU (besides yuri being my fave lol)

Getting rejected from the flames of Tartarus (suriving his fire-suicide) is probably another big thing for Yuri, because it’s first hand realising why people like him (criminals/people who have done wrong whom he had killed mercilessly), should not be killed. Who better than Tiger and Bunny to hammer that into his head lol. Also, I think it’s fascinating for both Tiger and Bunny to question the usefulness of yeeting criminals into prison. From this season, some of the incompetencies of the prison system/police were being shown, but not addressed fully psft. Yuri/Lunatic in particular seemed like a rational villain to T&B, and someone who was worth talking out of things. Basically: There’s a whole lot of good Yuri can still do, to try an atone for what he’s done. He can never erase it, that’s true, but living and learning from it is better than whatever miserable existence he once had.

I much prefer the narrative of Yuri surviving his suicide then growing and thriving, rather than never reaching this low-point/realisation NOR completely being killed off. One, it’s very much a confirmation of his remorse for his actions, and Two, a very important tipping point for him to finally put Lunatic to rest and focus on living well+doing good to atone.

Also him having two different scars to signify his character development? Delicious. Anyway that’s my very rambly essay, I hope it makes sense XD

[thescribblerqueen]

Fanfiction Project List Pt. 3 

(Update 10/19/20)

Anime Edition (Because I’ve Been Revived)

Yuri on Ice, Haikyuu, and Prince of Stride. I’m doing what I want.

There’s a request in my Inbox that’s been in there for two years and I’m sorry, but I also want to do it first. Complete! (Link)

There’s two chapters of an angsty whump!Hinata fic that I impulsively started two years ago. Hinata and Kageyama don’t immediately get along as fast as they do in Canon and it causes issues. Might end up a TsukiHina Fic

Some fics that I thought I started, that I might have accidentally deleted off my drive that include two Oikage fics:

Kageyama goes to Aoba Johsai, but doesn’t join the volleyball team because a bunch of other students convinced him to give up volleyball and opts to focus on his studies. Those students convinced him Oikawa hated him, expect he’s really just an idiot with a crush who is bad at showing it. Oikawa tries to convince him to come back. Hinata is at Aoba Johsai.

Kitagawa Daiichi Fic, some upperclassman assault Kageyama after class purposely hurting his hands in order to prevent him from playing volleyball. He wants to quit being a setter/volleyball. Oikawa is completely confused and protective trying to convince him otherwise. Hinata transfers to their school.  

Some Yuri on Ice x Haikyuu Crossovers, based on the headcanon that if Yuuri and Victor had a Biological child from Haikyuu it would be Kageyama:

First version, is an A/B/O fic where Victor and Yuuri meet pretty young and accidentally mate, then are kept apart by the ISU probably. Yuuri ends up being forced to give up their child for adoption. Eventually Victor and Yuuri reunite and start a lawsuit to search for their child. Kageyama is their child and was adopted by a couple in an arranged marriage. They get a bitter divorce when he’s in middle school and they tell him he’s adopted, it leads to his King Phase. He fills out forms requesting his adoption papers before high school starts and is reunited with Victor and Yuuri. Probably an Oikage fic.

Second Version, is an gen mpreg fic (IDK it doesn’t vibe as ABO in that version), maybe a small one-shots. Yurio is his older, adopted brother. Yurio would definitely pick some fights with Oikawa. Kageyama is Tobio’s fake name to not be harassed by the media. He also knows Japanese, English, and Russian fluently but has terrible grades because he gets test anxiety from Yuuri but performs fine in Volleyball because he has two Olympic parents and he has Victor’s confidence in that but also zero social skills despite their best efforts.

Ask me more about them, I want to talk about them.

I swear I had a list that I think also accidentally got deleted and it makes me want to cry but the only things I can remember from it are this:

(Update! Started & Link)Victor and Yuuri dated pre-canon thanks to Christophe, but break up due to Yuuri’s anxiety after nationals. Yuuri has issues with an eating disorder and announces his retirement after returning home. Yurio is like their child and gets mad at Victor thinking he’s the reason they broke up and goes to Japan to convince Yuuri not to quit. Yuuri of course tells Yakov. Victor comes to Japan to stop him from retiring because he think that’s crazy when he planned to retire. Also the Video still happens and Vicchan is alive and confused by Makkachin because they never actually met.

A/B/O fic idea that Phichit and Yuuri agreed to have a child together to please their parents but didn’t mate. Yuuri and Victor still fall in love regardless but just with some obstacles

Another mpreg fic, where Yuuri opts to have a child on his own but gets caught up in a scandal, that involved the fertility clinic he used having non-consenting donors requested by high paying clients and unexpected mix up.

Some vague ideas that basically allude to Yuuri having dated other Skaters

A Yuuri Idol AU, where if JPOP was more like KPOP and over all less toxic than it is in real life. Yuuri is basically famous for both skating and being in an all male idol group, but somehow his fans have no idea that those two Katsuki Yuuri are one in the same.

Two Haikyuu x Prince of Stride crossovers with Hinata

First one is that Hinata is really fast because he used to do Volleyball and Stride with his older brother but then their parents divorced and split custody. Heath Hasekura is his older brother because Fujiwara and Yagami are the same age as him, and Kohinta is kind of obvious why not, but Heath’s one sister has red hair so it works. Cue reconciling family.

Second one, is that Hinata got pushed into competing with his middle school’s stride team and that all his former teammates go to Saisei academy and are apart of Galaxy Standard. Yukigaoka didn’t have a volleyball team because Hinata went to an Idol school where it lost interest because the students thought it was a violent/dangerous sport. He figures he’s completely done with stride until Stride association members try to contact him about the non-school organized stride event that automatically enters last year’s winners back into the yearly competition.

A fic where Iwaizumi and Hinata are step brothers.

I’m sure I had more Ideas but they’re apparently lost to time.

EDIT 6/17/20:  I remembered some more!

Kageyama fic where Aoba Johsai inadvertently finds out that Kageyama’s parent’s got divorced during middle school by visiting kitagawa daiichi and meeting his younger half brother. Kageyama has both half and step siblings because his parents had long term affairs before their divorce. He goes back and forth between two households and his bio parents ignore him and he’s very quiet and distant around his siblings.

 Hinata fic where he did have a volleyball team in middle school but they treated him like shit. They didn’t believe he could be a spiker and forced him to be a Libero. He gets injured in his second year of middle school and has to go through a ton of physical therapy, which is why later he is ‘bad’ at volleyball. But really he’s recovering and dealing with the trauma. Meet-up with old shitty team. (Note: I edited this and then went to go read fics and someone uploaded a similar fic like two days ago, I’ll still write this but man I’ve wanted it for two years and NOW someone is on the same wavelength, lol.)

Fic inspired by the fact that my school district’s policy let middle schoolers play high school level if they were considered to be varsity level: Hinata finds out about a policy that will allow him to join another school’s volleyball team, as long as their school doesn’t have a formal team and it’s approved by both schools. Essentially, Hinata trains with and ultimately officially joins Karasuno a couple years ahead. Timeline is a the year after the Small Giant graduates but a year before Daichi, Suga, and Asahi attend. Old Ukai teaches the first year then retires. People keep getting freaked out, thinking that Hinata might be older than them while looking really young but he’s not.

[atopearth]

Samurai Love Ballad Party Part 24 - Mitsuba Kaede (Sogo)

I've always liked Kaede and the heroine's relationship. Kaede's always been like that older reliable sister that the heroine could feel safe with, so I'm excited to see how this route will turn out. It's nice that the heroine found out Kaede was a guy pretty quickly instead of it dragging on, I guess it's understandable to discover it so fast considering they're living together for their mission, and Kaede's bound to get hurt etc, hard to hide her body lol. Anyway, it was really cool how calm Kaede was about it and for her to even show up in masculine clothes and explain her situation to the heroine was nice. She looks beautiful as a girl, but looks great as a guy too! Kid Kaede is so adorable too~ I wonder how it feels to be Kaede though. He was forced to hide his identity ever since he was a child so that no one from Iga or anything would assassinate him for being the Mitsuba Chief's child and future heir of the clan, and so to be doubly sure of that, he had to pretend to be a girl as well. I wonder if it's okay for him to reveal it so easily to her now though? I'm really happy that the heroine is so understanding of Kaede and how much pain and suffocation he must have been suffering to have to hide himself to protect himself and the future of his people. I'm happy she didn't make it about herself and how the lie hurt her etc, and instead focused on Kaede's feelings.

I'm honestly so jealous though, Kaede looks great as a guy and a girl hahaha. I'm surprised she's already admitting that she loves Kaede, that was quicker than I thought lol. I don't mind it since you can see how important Kaede is to her and likewise with the heroine to Kaede, but I still feel like their "love" needs a bit more for me to feel something as a reader, especially since the heroine just found out she’s actually a guy haha. Otherwise, it was nice to see the heroine ask for his real name, Sogo, sometimes I wonder if Kaede forgets his real name tbh. Lmao at the heroine picking up Tetsuji, it's as if he's a stray rabbit that needs to be fed lol, it was pretty funny how Kaede so bluntly called him an idiot. I'm surprised Tetsuji wants to join the Mitsuba clan though. Anyway, seeing Kaede change into Sogo was interestingly nice, it really seems like he wants to be able to relax and be himself in front of the heroine...except his father will never allow that, which is understandable since who knows if anyone is watching etc. But, it's just such a strained life, I can't help but feel bad for Sogo.

Sogo has always been watching over the heroine as Kaede even back when they were kids, he's always loved her, and you can really tell from how he acts as Kaede around her. Hearing him admit that he loved the heroine but couldn't do anything about it as the chief's child was so heartbreaking, especially when the heroine pretended to be asleep and said she loved him too and then he apologised... Their love is so painful... But I really like it because I think this might be the only route for the Shadow Heroine that I feel most emotionally connected to the LI? I guess it really helps that we've seen Kaede in a lot of the routes before this, so it's already been established how much she loved the heroine, and that easily translates to her male self. Awww Tetsuji is such a silly pure soul, I love how he cried at being touched by how the Mitsuba clan took him in even though they themselves are in such a precarious situation with people trying to kill Kaede and the heroine. I feel like in terms of chemistry, Tetsuji and Kaede seem to work better even if they're both guys hahaha. Aside from saving Tetsuji, the heroine hasn't really interacted much with him, so I kinda forgot he was fond of her already lol. But I'll take it just so that Sogo can seriously think more about what he wants considering how he's practically sacrificed his whole life to the clan.

I honestly feel so bad for the heroine and Kaede. Regardless of how the heroine got captured, I doubt she would have been able to escape from Hanzo and Yuki, and I'm sure Kaede would always choose to save the heroine, but it's pretty devastating to see the Mitsuba clan's newly rebuilt village be in shambles alongside with injured comrades, especially when it was all a ruse to get Kaede to leave the village so that they could have a clear advantage in destroying it. I'm just glad it doesn't seem like anyone is dead? Regardless though, Kaede blaming herself for not being there for the village when they needed her definitely hurts. Of course they can always relocate as long as they are alive, but the insecurity of hiding and the sadness over losing what you've built up slowly still hurts. It also makes her have to face her priorities, will she choose the heroine or the village if she had to choose only one? It was honestly painful to hear Sogo say he had to give up on her for the village, and that Tetsuji would take care of her well. I could really the heroine's frustration at not being able to tell Sogo that she didn't need to have that "happy life" with Tetsuji when all she wants is to be with him, since telling Sogo would only hurt him more... It's just saddening.

Well...how convenient that the Ryumanju (flower that is even better than the Ryusenju they use to make the Dragon's Tears) flower that Kaede holds dear from the heroine is actually even better than the flower they usually need and it's not even toxic! Isn't it kinda funny that the heroine and her family are special because the Ryusenju toxins have no effect on them, and now with this new flower, they won't even need them lol (aside from the recipe). Honestly though, I don't like this, I feel like it's such a cheap way to solve things with Nobunaga and it's make the heroine and them kinda silly to not even have noticed that this flower was so close to them for years. It grows in the same place as the Ryusenju?! C'mon loll..it wasn't even hard to find. Honestly, if I was Nobunaga, I'd think they were lying to me and gave me a shit version of this medicine the whole time lol, I mean, it's sure convenient how they so quickly and easily made one that got rid of alllll the bad stuff about the previous lol, and it doesn't even sound like it's limited and difficult to make lol.

Well...that was certainly abrupt when Hanzo attacked the Mitsuba, the chief blocked the blow for Kaede, and then Kaede decided to announce that he's actually Sogo, the chief's kid, so now he'll be the new chief, like okay?? Things are moving a bit too fast and haphazardly? Like, is everyone supposed to believe this all of a sudden and accept it just like that? Anyway, something I'm surprised about is that I finally realised that the story seems to put Kaede's strength and stuff at the same level as Hanzo and them? I honestly didn't think she was as strong as them looking at the past routes, but I guess she's an LI, so she has to be "strong"? It feels so terrible that the Chief/Sogo's father died though... Sogo could finally let go of his identity as Kaede and live out in the open but it was at the sacrifice of his father..that's just so sad... They both lived only thinking about the Mitsuba clan and never ever allowed themselves to truly bond as father and son even though they have those blood ties, it's just so saddening... It's nice that he at least got to see how strong of a leader Sogo would be and is proud of him at the moment of his death, but it's terrible that he'll never really get to see the village led by Sogo with his own eyes.

I wasn't expecting Sogo to decide to suicide and ask the heroine to go with him (since if the Mitsuba clan is gone, he'll kill himself too), like, can't he still rebuild?? I doubt everyone is dead! Anyway, Nobunaga's troops save them, so he doesn't suicide, which is so silly, because if Nobunaga had enough time to save them, that means the clan wasn't completely dead yet, and I think Sogo really should have been focusing on trying to save as many people as he could instead of killing himself but whatever lol. Otherwise, Tetsuji is such a sweet guy, he's back to being a samurai because he thinks that he can protect the Mitsuba better that way instead of staying with them, he's so kind. Anyway, kinda cute how the heroine can't get used to life without Kaede, so Sogo will probably have to appear as Kaede every now and then lol, which is understandable since the one she grew up with was Kaede, but I'm still kinda sad that they didn't do much with the Sogo persona? Like, other than the fact that Sogo exists so that Kaede is a guy, there's not much to really feel or care about him even though they're the same person. I mean, the heroine might as well just be romancing Kaede lol.

Overall, I really liked the first half of the route, but I got really disappointed afterwards lol. I thought the story was more of a slow burner on how difficult it was for Kaede to balance her gender as well as choosing between her clan and the heroine, and I think it really portrayed that well because I really felt her dilemma. However, everything after that was so rushed. The chief dying to make Sogo come to light, Nobunaga helping to keep them alive, everyone accepting Sogo, them getting together etc, it felt like everything just happened in the last few chapters so it really went from 1-10 real quick lol, it just didn't have the same feel and really killed the flow of the story lol, especially since they took a lot of time to build up the heroine and Kaede's relationship (which I liked). It's sad because I actually really like Kaede, but Sogo's existence doesn't do much than make it that the heroine is actually with a "guy" not a girl, in which at that point, Kaede might as well have just stayed as Kaede for a yuri romance because Sogo as a person isn't really important lol, which I guess can be understandable since he has to hide that he's a guy, but at the same time, I feel like they could have shown more for us to like the male persona. Anyway, honestly, not really a fan of this route in the end but I did really like Kaede and the heroine in the beginning haha.

[mirios-eyes-are-beautiful]

aa So I just woke up to this?

I’m just.. speechless? I can’t believe this actually happened, so thank you all for the last few months, for every like, reblog and comment. It’s been such a pleasure to interact with you and scream about Mirio and The Big Three<3 I hope 2019 won’t bring us too many tears (spoiler: it will.) and we can all laugh about their shenanigans again (spoiler: we won’t.). This blog came alive with crazy good fanart, hilarious memes and sweet headcanons, sprinkled with my neverending affection towards Mirio, so kudos go out to the amazing artists and writers that create the content we love<3 Thank you for over 1k followers and I hope to see the family of mirihoes grow in the progressing year! I’ve received a lot of questions for my milestone special and I only picked out a few, but if you want more of these, let me know! Now let’s dive right into the Q&A!

Heey~ I’m a huge Bnha fan and I love this blog, keep up the great work!! \(^-^)/ I’d love to know how old you are, if that’s not too personal of a question?

Not at all! I’m actually 20 y/o and my Birthday is in June, also my zodiac is Gemini👭

What do you do for a living?

I’m a university student in my second year! I’m majoring in Linguistics and my minor is English Literature and Culture. Though before, I did a year of Environmental Sciences, but it just wasn’t my cup of tea so I quit🤷‍♀️ I’m also part timing at a boutique.

Hello! I check your blog everyday and I can’t with all your reactions, they’re almost always the same as mine:D Which state (USA) are you from and what languages do you speak?

Lol, do I really sound American?:D I’m actually from Germany, so German is my mother tongue! Other than that, I consider myself pretty fluent in English (your assumption of me being a native speaker flatters me so much, you have no idea) and I guess my French is decent. I can order food and ask for directions in Spanish (ayyyy) and studied Hindi for two semesters at Uni. Also I’m currently learning Japanese for my degree in Linguistics.

Do you have a favorite anime show? Other than My hero academia of course!

My all time favorite anime is definitely Arslan Senki! Besides that, I also love Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Assassination Classroom, Durarara, Hunter x Hunter and pretty much every existing sports anime (Haikyuu, Kuroko no Basuke, Daiya no Ace, Free!, Yowapedal, Yuri on Ice, Prince of Tennis,.. although Haikyuu is my favorite) I enjoy most genres as long as the plot and characters appeal to me.

Do you read any manga? (also LOVE YOUR BLOG!!<3)

Yeah! I really love manga and I’ve read tons of shoujo when I was younger (I bingeread every night in middle school tbh) Nowadays though, not so much anymore.. It’s not that I came to hate it, I just don’t have as much time unfortunately-.-’ I do read the new Bnha and Haikyuu chapters on a weekly basis, but I can’t manage more than that. I also read yaoi/shounen-ai manga and doujinshi from time to time, but it’s not as much of an obsession as it was a few years ago. However, I own a couple of manga series (Bnha, Haikyuu, Arslan Senki), which I love to reread in my free time😊

hey, we share a love for mirio, so do you maybe have a few anime recommendations, or any good anime you’re watching now?

uhuhuhu birds of a feather flock together;))) Of course I can dish out some recommendations, but I’ll start with what I’m watching atm. I started rewatching Daiya no Ace not so long ago (due to the announcement of Season 4) so I sometimes watch a few episodes of that when I find the time. Also, and this is a recommendation as well, there’s this new track and field anime called Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru (Run with the Wind) coming out every Friday and it’s hilarious. If you like sports anime, you should definitely give it a go! The last anime I’m rewatching right now is Sukitte Ii na yo (Say I love you), cause I’ve been in a shoujo mood lately and after several years I still can’t deal with the cuteness of this show. Now for recs.. this is hard, since everyone has a different taste in series, but other than the shows I’ve named in the “Favorite anime” question, I’d recommend Wotakoi (Wotaku ga Koi no Muzukashii). It’s a very sweet anime about the love stories of otakus, so if you like a good laugh and lots of fluff, this show is for you (11eps). Same goes for Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (12eps + 6 short specials). Shounen-wise I enjoyed for example Noragami, Bleach, Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Magi. Shoujo-wise I can always rewatch Toradora, Kimi ni Todoke and Itazura na Kiss. Sorry for rambling, there are just too many!😅

What pronouns do you use? And what’s you sexual orientation? If the latter question is too personal, just ignore it(/ω＼)

No worries! I use she/her pronouns and I’m pan, slightly favoring men. Probably due to the fact that I’ve only had hetero relationships so far. Though, I really don’t care about my partner’s gender🤷‍♀️

hi, i’ve been going through a rough time lately and your reblogs and memes never fail to make my day. how so you stay positive when things are going downhill? (sorry for the weird ask..)

Your question isn’t weird at all! I’m sorry to hear that you don’t feel well lately and I’m glad my posts are able to cheer you up a bit<3 I, for my part, am a very optimistic person and always try to concentrate on the positive things in my life, but I cannot deny that due to my personal problems I’ve spent many nights sleepless as well. Unfortunately, there’s no recipe for happiness, but here are some things you should always keep in mind should you feel down: Don’t surround yourself with toxic people. Don’t let them in your life and if they already are, either ignore them or cut them off. The latter won’t always work, since the world of adulthood is a cruel place, but try to develop a thick skin and don’t let them abuse the power over you that they don’t actually have. Try to talk with people. I can tell from experience that talking about your problems will almost always make you feel better, or at least lighter afterwards. Think positive. There’s never only black and white, so even if everything seems hopeless or bland, you should never cease to search for the good aspects. An example from me: Uni fucks me up real bad atm. I have six exams and one term paper to write this semester and I’m seriously afraid of failing. I’ve always had insane expectations of myself, because when I was a toddler, my parents found out that I was highly talented and that has been a as much of a curse as it is a blessing throughout my entire life. Whenever something gets too much for me and I end up in a slump, I think about how grateful I am to have so many wonderful friends. I think of all the things I plan to do with the money I earn, such as travelling, buying manga, movies, clothes,.. and even if that might not seem like a trivial matter for some people, I think of all the amazing anime coming out this year: Ice Adolescence, One Punch Man Season 2, Attack on Titan Season 3, Fruits Basket remake, Bnha Season 4, Haikyuu Season 4, Daiya no Ace Season 3.. Why am I naming these? Because they keep me going. They give me something to look forward to. They make me realize that I’m extremely grateful to be alive, because I get to experience these works. I get to discuss my favorite shows with people, who share my interests! I get to scream about Mirio’s bara arms with you guys! If that isn’t something to be cheerful about, I don’t know what is<3

And since I don’t want to end this on a solemn note, here’s a personal favorite of mine:

On a scale from 1-10, how much do you love Mirio?^^

1.000.000 (A million, you get it? wink wonk) Thanks for sticking around! Hope this gave you a little insight on who I am and I’d love to spend 2019 with you as well<3

[resurrged]

© 〢▓█  ✕   𝟑.𝟎   ▷▷     GOLDEN BOY’S  /  IN BAD SHAPE

     ’ SHE GRITS HER TEETH  /  BITES THE DUST  /  COUGHS UP BLOOD  as if she means to. her palms press patterns of minuscule pebbles,  scarring vast constellations in her calloused hands.   she pauses  &  stands,  spits copper liquid and rises again.                 LIFE THRUST UPON HER  /  AS MANY HAD BEFORE  /  HOW MANY PLACES MUST SHE CALL HOME ?                             she lost count after the fifth

BACKGROUND.

 ↳    first, there was freedom, though it trapped nonetheless.   a foster child waiting for her first feast to raise her life.   picked up off the streets and prone to distant caresses,  she knew nothing else of living and took what could be given.

next, there was power,  though it sat symbolic at best.   her hollowed ribs were stuffed with riches,  her skin softened with petrissage.    she was spoiled to the core by a man who kept her secluded, watching from afar as she remained blissfully ignorant.   the sole person she could ever make happy,  she clung to his praises & at first felt hysterical at his loss. 

then there came the vicious,  the lowlives you often hear about.   they wanted her for the support, and used her presence as an item.   sometimes she would feel more of a slave than a child.   other times she was so ignored she wondered if her form was but flawed phantasm.   her father figures came in tattered & bruised,  her mothers only left to peruse.   there was yelling & fighting and it was all she could do to learn to stand her own ground.

in the end she became solitary,  fighting ends meet as soon as she could.   she’d lived through slums so long it became second nature to stick among them.   she grew conniving and selfish, understanding the toxicity of her past.   one way or another, the world was going to stop dictating her actions.

she is fifteen when she comes across a group of kids in her way.   though not much younger than she,  her edge over them is spotted within moments.   carrying supplies and taking them by surprise / it leaves her with no more than a stained fist & one more week of easy survival.   

what she doesn’t catch is how one of the boys hadn’t moved,  while his friends seemed to disperse.   she comes back to a body,  still near unconscious  ( too sore, she assumes, to move ),  and lets no more than a sigh leave her as she drags it into darkness.   he wasn’t meant to die, and suddenly she worries they were no more than adolescents filing through these parts of town for some unlikely twist of fate.

in the end the boy wakes up, weary at first but willing to cooperate with the one constant in this foreign place.   he says his name is MARCEL, and explains how he & his group were sent off to complete a job.   she can’t help but laugh at the simplicity.  ( KIDS ! to work over this ? there’s power in numbers, sure, but four idiots won’t make a mind ) .   she sighs and offers some food back to him, and soon enough they get to talking like old friends.   in feigned begrudging stance,  she offers to help him find his friends  ( ‘friends’ that receive quick scolding with the face of her palm before being set in stone, mind you. )   and before she knows it,  a bit of advice turns to returning paths and she is an accomplice in their primitive work.

in four years time they seem that much further from their task  ( ‘ FIND THE REISS CHILD & BRING HER BACK TO US ALIVE ’ )  but a lead pops up quick one night,  and ymir’s there to latch on.   they speak of a hidden child, forced into a life that isn’t her own.   with a bitter taste in her mouth she shares her theory on this ‘ KRISTA LENZ ’ ,  and it looks like the next thing they’ll set off for is her school of study.   infiltration was their strength,  and they were finally on path for their goal.

BEHIND THE PLOT.

 ↳     these are all just things that ymir wouldn’t necessarily know,  but fit into the actual idea of this au.

the reiss family was seemingly wiped out, but so were their assets. i.e. no one knows where the hell all the expensive stuff they owned went and historia is their last surviving heir, so logically they assume some some of system was set up to let her inherit it  ( after turning 18, it’s safe to assume she would just be keeping it on the low or something along those lines ).

plot twist of them going after historia for information they’ll later find out eren has because i’m weak for that founding titan parallel.  the idiot probably got the storage location from his dad & didn’t know what it was so he just  /shrug.

will most definitely grow attached to historia & the rest of the modern!104ths as is destined ty & gn.

TIDBITS. 

HOBBIES |    she’s fucking obsessed with soccer, and entirely up-to-date on any news relating to all things Sport.  probably plays a lot of shit recreationally when she gets the chance.   i can’t even expand on this because of how little i know irl lmao so just have that headcanon as is.   she also absolutely despises reading and has a little trouble with it.   she loves watching action / horror though,  and would secretly enjoy cheesy romcoms on her own time.   she isn’t the biggest on asia media but you can bet your ass she looks at  /  reads yuri manga.

MAKEUP |     definitely one of those ‘no-makeup makeup’ hoes.    she almost always does her brows bc she got none, and tightlines her eyes.   might wear concealer or lipstick if she’s feeling fancy but unless someone else does her makeup for her, she’d never step anywhere near something more complicated.  also carries burts’ bees chapstick everywhere she goes, but never fucking uses it and just bites off dry skin like a savage.

HABITS |    incredibly messy but insists she knows where everything is.   cracks her knuckles a lot (i hate it).   definitely the type to wake up & not feel satisfied until every bone in her body pops out.   she never writes anything down (even as a memo on her phone) and forgets about as often as you’d expect.   anyone who knows her most certainly has the “do this for me” “k” “... you gonna write that down” “it’s good i got it” “no you don’t write it down” conversation way too often.   also insists on walking everywhere to save money.   even if it’s like an hour away and pouring.    on her own, she likes clearing her head by hanging around empty parks. they’re typically abandoned or otherwise unnoticeable, just odd places she finds from all that walking.   if you get close enough to her,  she might take you to them,  and insist you use the playsets with her.

[axelsandwich]

yuzuru hanyu: an exhaustive introduction

YUZURU HANYU IN 8 SECONDS: A SUMMARY 

the weird goat noise crying at the end is yuzu himself basically going ‘nooo no way, no I don’t want this, that was scary, so scaryyy’

THIS IS ALSO YUZURU HANYU IN 13 SECONDS

YUZURU HANYU JUST BEING HIMSELF (PART 2)

choose your fighter

he’s happy a lot

basically the embodiment of the n__n emoji

and cute

the cutest 

ever

loves nature on the rare occasions he goes outside

hitting his coach with a fan

scaring his other coach and then running away

adorable w kids

loves teaching

but also falls down a lot. very cutely.

sometimes in a stupidly beautiful way

factual info you could probably Wikipedia but are too lazy to do so: Yuzuru Hanyu is a Japanese figure skater from Sendai, born 7 December 1994 who competes in the men's singles discipline.

PSA: YUZURU HANYU IS NOT THE MODEL FOR KATSUKI YUURI FROM YURI ON ICE (yuuri katsuki is canonically based on tatsuki machida thank u)

japanese media (esp in sendai) basically filmed him growing up and called him a young prodigy so we’re lucky to get footage of chipmunk-cheeked yuzu with his (flying) mushroom hair 

look at this tiny bean

he was interviewed in ice rink sendai with japan’s other figure skating gold medallist shizuka arakawa. to quote, when asked “can you become a gold medallist too?”, he said “probably”. and then he went and did exactly that.

he would get into fights with his rinkmates, used to ball up skate rink magazine flyers to hit like a baseball and basically had a 5min attention span after which he would get bored

he also remained top 5 in his class academically while competing internationally during high school and does online education at waseda university, which is one of the most prestigious universities in Japan (this kid was away the day God handed out laziness and procrastination I s2g)

he’s studying Human Informatics and Cognitive Sciences (ie. basically a massive maths nerd)

my favourite in-depth and extended interviews with yuzu are his press conferences with the foreign correspondents club in japan, he really lets his intelligence and thoughtfulness shine here in particular:

2014 post-sochi olympics

2018 post-pyeongchang olympics

2018 post-pyeongchang olympics (japanese media)

memelord mc memeface (no, I am serious)

literally can’t control his face

I could go on.........

for a long time

(this is my fave)

the duality of man

10 expressions for the price of one

‘yuzuru will also respond in english’

yuzuru was a victim of the 2011 Japanese earthquake and tsunami and lived in an emergency shelter with his family for about a week. spent the summer afterwards skating 60 different ice shows to raise money for the victims. he lost his home rink because of the earthquake and so would go to the show rinks early to practice ): 

it’s heartbreaking that he’s still very affected by the memories. he’s said he doesn’t take anything for granted and is always grateful to have a rink to skate on, and the impact he had on the survivors had a profound effect on his skating

he mentioned it in his post olympics interview

if you feel like crying really really hard today, watch yuzuru visiting sendai’s disaster affected areas and where he stayed initially in the days after the disaster

he donated all his olympic winnings to helping tohoku recover

the only regular TV appearance he does every year is 24hr TV which is a charity marathon to raise money for various causes, especially for areas affected by natural disaster 

“If it is because I visited them that those who suffered from the disaster can forget about their hardships for even just a moment, to me that would be something very meaningful. Therefore, at that moment, I thought that I wanted to get another Gold medal at the next Olympics.” 

the reason why he’s going for another olympic medal. cry with us

gets on with nobunari oda like a house on fire and carries out shenanigans whenever they meet

nobu and ex-tennis player matsuoka shuzo have been his most zealous and purest hype men since he was sixteen, it’s the cutest thing in the world, they’re regularly worried about him, stunned by him and moved to tears by his performances

here they are reacting to his olympics programs

here’s yuzu thanking shuzo for his support by putting his gold medal around shuzo-san’s neck

has the cutest bromance ever with training mate javier fernandez (eg. when he cried bc he didn’t win but was also super happy for javi, and when he watched javi’s free skate)

gives the best hugs to javi

iconic(TM)

just before the Olympic medal ceremony, yuzuru cried after javi told him this would be his last olympics and saying ‘no I can’t do it without you’ wow I didn’t need my heart or anything today

has the cutest interactions with all skaters including his direct competitors

here’s boyang jin giggling about how he got a hug from ‘the guy who likes Pooh’

nathan chen commenting on yuzu & both of them complimenting each other

dodges media attempts to pit him against shoma uno as bitter rivals bc they are NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE 

olympic gold medallist checking to make sure the olympic silver medallist has his jacket on straight and teaching shoma to wave bc he is actually just a mother

the only person who has the ability to make him lose focus: his forever-idol evgeni plushenko (now in motion) 

probably the only asian boy who willingly opted for a bowl cut 

who he shamelessly cheers on during ice shows

literally not capable of not being extra as fuck

here’s his pre-competition rituals aka. lipsyncing silently at a wall

he does it a lot

where every other male skater is in sensible shirts and pants, you will find yuzu standing there BEDECKED IN SEQUINS AND FEATHERS

he don’t give a fuck about your gender norms

and looks excellent while doing so

here he is, single-handedly destroying toxic masculinity

here he is just generally being Extra, with the rest of the men, bullying junhwan, bullying boyang... speed skating

tbh his milkshake seems to bring all the boys to the yard...seriously. and obviously most of the girls...

famous for his death glare murder face of hyper-competitive intensity

scariest thing is how quickly he can switch it on

there’s literally a collection of photos of yuzu - from when he was a bb to presently - eyeing the gold medal from another podium position like ‘my precious will be mine soon’ (here’s another one)

but also for being the sweetest kid ever 

he is truly SUPER polite wherever he goes

hugging his competitors at the 2018 pyeongchang olympics

staying behind to answer all questions from media at the competition

CRAWLING ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES behind competitor shoma uno so he doesn’t get in the background of shoma’s interview

mr worldwide (he thanked reporters at the Olympics in five languages)

watch him say thank you in korean

JP TV basically had entire TV segments where they were like ‘OBSERVE HIS GOD-LIKE BEHAVIOUR’. It continues to this day

there’s literally a shrine with kanji similar to his name and fans pray for him there

he has three dedicated shrines that his fans make pilgrimmages to - yuzuruha and the two seimei shrines. 

oda nobunari visited one and basically all the ema wishes were for him (yuzuru himself also visited the shrine to pray as well)

helping people repair the rink after competitions

single-handedly keeping the winnie the pooh soft toy industry alive.  

Disney-senpai finally noticed him in 2018

he donates all the toys he gets to local orphanages and charities

gives his fans regular heart attacks

watch him save jumps that shouldn’t have been physically possible

changing program halfway through when he failed a jump to accommodate #emergencyquad and #yolotripleaxel 

casually breaks world records because he was annoyed with himself

casual jump combinations during practices

casually says shit like wanting to jump hithero impossible jumps

jumped new quad when pissed off at the world team trophy It is REALLY IMPORTANT to know that the main reason for fan heart attacks is because he’s dealt with a distressing number of injuries, illnesses and misfortunes in his skating life but has somehow managed to come back and succeed in spite of them

a really scary accident that happened at cup of china 2014 and he decided to skate anyway because he wanted to qualify for the Grand Prix Final (which he then went on to win) and he really should not have been allowed to but he.......did that > <;

he then came back a month later to win the Grand Prix Final for the 2nd year in a row

he then had abdominal pain and surgery right after winning Japanese Nationals in 2014

and after spending a month recuperating, still managed to win a silver medal at worlds 2014

this is why we don’t talk about boston

important to note he skated his iconic chopin/seimei 2015 grand prix final programs WITH THAT INJURY

but then he came back and won the world championships in Helsinki in 2017

he missed almost the entire 2017-2018 olympic season he severely injured his ankle while practising the 4Lz in practice at the NHK Trophy, while recovering from a fever

is making his comeback from injury either at the pyeongchang team event or potentially yolo-ing it and going just for the individual event, we have no idea, we just know heart attacks are imminent

update: he skipped the team event and made his COMEBACK SKATE FROM INJURY after 3 months of no competitions and 1 month of prep at the individual mens event of the pyeongchang olympics.... AND FRIKKIN WON HIS SECOND OLYMPIC GOLD 

he then...injured himself again for the 2018-19 season, went out and skated anyway, won the event and showed up to the victory ceremony on crutches. he made a comeback at the world championships 2019 on painkillers yet again and still managed to get a silver medal

is proficient at disappearing like a ninja and subjecting his fans to radio silence for months on end, usually bc he injured himself ))):

so his fans made him a banner

(he has some ridiculously talented fans tbh)

a helpful guide to stanning yuzu (warning: you may feel Attacked)

did I mention he happens to be pretty good at figure skating? 

he’s broken the world record 16 times and counting (the video is his reaction to the first 11 (most of them are his own records)

he’s the first man in 66yrs since Dick Button to win back-to-back Olympic gold medals in mens figure skating (sochi 2014 and pyeongchang 2018)

I cannot emphasise HOW FRIKKIN #YOLO HIS 2018 OLYMPIC SEASON WAS. this was the medal he wanted his ENTIRE LIFE, which he had literally planned since he was a novice skater and had seriously begun planning since right after he won the gold in Sochi. this plan had to be adjusted due to the truly distressing number of injuries, illnesses and misfortunes he sustained during the last quad (his Olympic athlete profile has PARAGRAPHS dedicated to all his injuries - and note these are only the post-2014 ones). but yuzuru started the 2017-18 olympic season with a plan to basically break all 3 of his WRs at the olympics by recycling his Chopin and Seimei programs but upgrading the layout and introducing a new quad - the 4Lz - which he had been preparing for years. and then this plan was, once again, thrown out the window when he sustained the injury in NHK in early November, which was much more severe than he first thought. he sat out of competition for 3mths despite hoping to return first at Japanese Nationals and then to the Pyeongchang team event, but pulled out of both as well. yuzuru made his comeback from injury debut at the individual men’s event, aka. the BIG DEAL, after marching into the airport like a BOSS. we were told he had only recovered his triple axel 3 weeks ago and his quads 2 weeks ago, but post-Olympics, he’s slowly revealing that it was even more dire than that. he skated the entire Olympics on painkillers that were not working 100% which meant every jump landing hurt.  and he. frikkin. WON. by doing this. and this.  (it was also the 1000th medal in Winter Olympics history because destiny rewards those who are Most Extra)

seimei is arguably one of the greatest masterpieces of skating programs and yuzuru was involved in every step of putting it together

his iconic moves ; _ ; 

edges, have you seen anything more ridiculous

romeo and juliet 1.0 at worlds, less than 1yr after the tsunami disaster and really launched him onto the international stage

sochi olympic short program (the thing that won him the gold lbr)

sub point: his reaction to gold

sub point: his reactions to BOTH HIS GOLD MEDALS

chopin and seimei at Grand Prix Finals 2015/16 

WR for highest short program and total program score and he’s gonna bring them both back and try to surpass them for the Olympic season because he wasn’t already under enough pressure.........

hope and legacy FS at Worlds 2016/17 where he came back from 5th place in the short program to win the free and break his own world record yet again (annotated version)

broke his 12th WR in the first event of the 2017-2018 Olympic season at the ACI Challenger event with a sore knee and downgraded jump layout

hilariously, his coach brian orser was - uncharacteristically - warning everyone that his first skates of the season are like ‘first pancakes’ and to not expect too much from him before the SP

his fans, needless to say, were amused

he did go ahead and die in the free skate the following day though, and finished with his obligatory Canadian silver

Jumped and landed his first 4Lz in competition at the Rostelecom Cup 2017 (watch it clean - it’s a THING OF BEAUTY) and now has landed 4 types of quads in competition (4T, 4S, 4Lo and 4Lz). Has now said that being the first person ever to land the 4A - his childhood dream - is one of his key motivations. 

just go watch all his programs lol

has a majestic jump face. it’s art. literally. 

seemingly endless appetite for getting better and continually challenging himself

his favourite word: kuyashii (ie. frustrated)

one of my favourite interviews of him ever was right after his broke all 3 world records and went over 200 and 300 for the FS and total competition score for the first time at NHK 2015.  “[On losing to Patrick Chan at Skate Canada & the fact he was practising during gala rehearsal where everyone else was chilling] I thought I want to improve, even here right now.  Patrick was nearby and it was a really good motivation.   It’s like, ‘Watch me.'  I will definitely practise all kinds of jumps and I will grow for sure.  I will win the next time for sure, I have been practising with that in mind.”   Then 3 weeks later, at NHK Trophy, he had a different lay-out. Yuzu:  This is not related to Patrick anymore.  I was really fired up this time. Boyang Jin got 95 points in SP, right?  When I saw that score, I thought, wow NO MISTAKES!!  He gave the best of his abilities!  OH YES!!!! Matsu: You didn’t think OH NO!!!  You thought OH YES???? Yuzu:  I thought “It’s here!!!"  Since I was a child, I have never liked winning a competition when others made mistakes.  Everyone skates to their best, but I still come first, above all.  That is what I like. I like pushing myself to the edge—.” (translation cr: yuzusorbet) says volumes about his competitive mentality.

this is also iconic AF. ‘In your mind, what do you mean by wanting to win with a commanding lead?’ yuzuru (no hesitation and immediately): after everyone goes clean, I go clean and win. (matsuoka shuzo’s face is a MOOD)

oh, also he’s had asthma since he was two 

he talks about it here

it was referenced in a movie

he got an asthma attack 2wks before the World Championships in Helsinki 2017 and still went out and Did That

the new york times did a long feature on him and it’s mostly a pretty comprehensive article if you want an overview

has remained at number one in the world standings for the entire olympic cycle since 2013 despite aforementioned heart-attack-inducing injuries and illnesses

sucks at finding suits that fit him. because he needs one imperfection

questionable fashion sense in general (generally remains stuck at ‘japanese teenage boy circa 2005′)

he wears toe socks and has been seen wearing crocs once, ho n e st l y

Good Guy Yuzuru: doesn’t wear fitted suits often because he knows it’ll kill his fans and/or will only do so if he gets paid for it tbh

unless he’s wearing under armour

he can keep wearing under armour

seriously, why isn’t he being sponsored by under armour

why

really obsessed with earphones and has like 50 pairs, many of which are custom-made and cost over $1000. he gets really excited about sound quality & bonds with sound technicians over their headphones. basically it’s the only thing he talks about when interviewers want to know what he likes to do in his spare time

that and play games in his room by himself

he’s hyper-competitive about games too

is this a surprise at this point

he’s basically a shut in when he’s not on the ice rink, in competition or at an ice show. he is not v exciting

he got really obsessed with kendama and now has like 8 of them

can’t dance but has no shame (yeah) (YEAH. you’ve been warned). werq it boi

made his japanese film debut in a bald cap, playing the young lord of Sendai which he SORT OF BASICALLY IS

get you a man that loves you like the entire city of Sendai loves yuzuru

their cheer video for sochi and pyeongchang

as of originally writing this intro post - part of the top six men in figure skating right now. probably possesses the Most Lack of Chill, being world champion, olympic champion and holder of all 3 figure skating records. we’re all drinking heavily this olympic season, not in the least because Olympic season has been a Pretty Big Disaster So Far

BUT HE WON THE GOLD MEDAL AND THE MENS EVENT WAS - FOR THE MOST PART - PRETTY DAMN BRILLIANT, especially given all the disasters that happened this season.......so I recommend watching it all. ; __ ; 

alas Patrick Chan and Javier Fernandez have now retired ;;

he’s also b e a u t i f u l 

um excuse me, rude

VERY RUDE

apparently not interested in sex appeal......... 

‘acting’

want to research more? 

here’s a recommended watchpost

a compilation of interesting interviews by tsukihoshi14

gif cr: balladestorm

in conclusion, thank you for reading and I hope you know more about this special, brilliant boy ( : 

[caseyvalhalla]

@junecsea tagged me to gush about 10 favorite characters and by god this is the meme that was made for me. presented here in no particular order and under a cut because I HAVE A LOT TO SAY OK

Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho)

I was in love with him from the moment I first watched him kill another demon in cold blood. Listen. When you can make murder terrifyingly sexy you don't need any other skills. When you're a violent nerd devoted to your aesthetic in addition to being more brilliant than anyone else, who trails rivals along who seem deeply confused about whether they want to defeat you or just want you, when you can summon literal fucking plant nightmares from the depths of hell and flip your hair like it's nbd, then you can step to Kurama. He's fucking beautiful and he will grow flowers in your corpse.

Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)

Look. Look.

Do you see this shit. Do you see this pure little smile and his teeth, do you see the way his eyes squint when he does it, do you see the genuine love exuding from his being and does it kill you because you know every inch of the pain and loss and invalidation he has been through and has yet to go through? Do you see it. Do you feel it crushing your soul. Are you crying yet because I am. I'm crying right now. (Look I also have an old meta post gushing about how much I love Roxas here.)

Kurapika (Hunter x Hunter)

Okay so once upon a time I was watching a thing and the first time this guy appeared onscreen he saw a spider and his eyes turned red and he wasted it and I was like "I feel this kid in my soul," and then he did this:

and I was like this is it, this is the end, I can feel my soul departing my body as we speak, I am now devoted completely to this boy and that friends, that was the beginning of the end. That is how you enroll yourself in Eternal Suffering. Would I have done things differently, would Past Me have turned away from this utter perfection, if I knew I would spend my ensuing years yelling 'PLEASE STOP THIS PLEASE LOVE YOURSELF GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS' at television screens and manga panels? idk

Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice)

So I wrote an entire fanfic that was basically my treatise on Why I Love Victor Nikiforov and So Can You. The thing about Victor is that you don't really get what his deal is until episode 10 and then it hits you all at once and it hits you hard. Like. This guy you thought was a rock star playboy world champion is actually an insufferable nerd who fell hopelessly in love with a sloppy undressed blackout drunk Yuuri Katsuki who pole-danced at a formal banquet and begged Victor to coach him in his underwear with his tie around his head and Victor. Did. He dropped everything for a pretty Japanese boy who showed him a good time because he was miserable and trapped alone at the top of a golden pedestal and dancing with Yuuri made him feel happy and alive again and he wasn't afraid to chase that happiness. Also just:

look at how pure this is. Really look. Feel it embrace your being. Feel it in your bones.

Wolfram von Bielefeld (Kyo Kara Maou/maruMA series)

Alright so I've already made a long post about all of the things I love and appreciate about Lord Bielefeld, former Third Prince, Mazoku of Flame, and fiance to the 26th Maou of Shin Makoku that you can read here but like. This guy. Do you love character development? Do you love it when characters realize that they were wrong, that they had toxic ideas and behaviors, and when they consciously set out to change them and make up for their wrongs and do better? Do you love seeing how love makes a character into a stronger and better version of himself even when there is no guarantee his love will be returned? (Also do you like canon queer characters? Because that is also a thing.) And yall I loved the anime but you really have to read the novels to see what a brilliantly realized character Wolf is and I just. Fucking LOVE him.

Prompto Argentum (Final Fantasy XV)

I'm positive at this point that Square Enix has made it their personal mission to destroy my life in particular and their weapon of choice is blond boys with spiky hair. Idk if I need to explain to you guys just how fucking much that scene with Prompto and Noct on the motel roof just fucking devastated me because a) of course it did and b) how could it NOT. He just. Wants to be loved. He just wants to be ENOUGh and it's oto lase i'md cryyy

Mikorin/Mikoshiba Mikoto (Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun)

I relate to Mikorin because I too

say things and immediately regret them

get embarrassed easily

fail at socializing and need to be rescued

desperately want to be helpful and looked up to

am weak to compliments and easily manipulated by them

take an eternity to warm up to new people and almost immediately revert to lurking in a corner like a gremlin

plan my life around video game releases

am a hopeless nerd who tries to be cool and often gives off the impression of being cool up until the reality of being a hopeless nerd becomes apparent

Nezumi (No.6)

Another canon queer in the lineup and another situation where the anime version of a character manages to not be as amazing as the original novel and again I wrote an entire post about him years ago that says much more than I could gush about here and is also full of spoilers but man. You know. This is a guy who specializes in portraying women in theater, who is so traumatized that he has a panic attack when his crush touches him, who cries when Shion kisses him goodbye and lies about it. He has mice friends. He builds robots. And he lives in a fucking book vault. He's a nerd and a badass and is so, so deeply messed up but not beyond redemption. I like to think he'll come back, eventually.

Natsume Takashi (Natsume's Book of Friends)

Why are all of these traumatized boys that I regularly cry about. Why do i love characters who tear my heart into pieces? At least Natsume is nice and soft about it. Like. Have you ever watched this show? Its like the feeling you get on a warm summer afternoon with just the right smell of grass in the air that reminds you of being young and carefree and ignorant of the world's cruelty and you ache for the loss of that simplicity and the sincerity with which your younger self experienced life. In the middle of this soft nostalgic melancholy is this boy who is slowly learning to love and trust the people (and spirits) around him after years of being ostracized and its. Fucking beautiful. It's slow and sad and gorgeous. I'm such a mess.

Keith (Voltron Legendary Defender)

I was not a huge Keith fan at first. I mean, he was there, he was kind of a boss, it was cool, and then s2 happened and he started to grow on me, and the s3 happened and GOOD LORD but you know. You know what, that fucking vlog. That is what did it. Not the show itself. A three minute promo clip where he muses on his bad temper and defense mechanisms and storms off stage because he's gonna cry. Apparently showing emotional vulnerability and fear of rejection is all it takes for me to be willing to fucking die for you. Please just let this boy be happy. Love him. Give him hugs. Get him the fuck back to the Castle and his family because being a Blade is great and all but it's gonna get him killed if he keeps going like this. Just burrito him up in a blanket and hand him off to Shiro, problem solved. Mostly.

aaaaaaaand i guess I will tag @sylvermyth, @the-smallest-kurapika, @adulterclavis, @deadfreckledboys, @xigspicelatte, @opallight, and @painpackerrisingsun to do this if you want to! Anyone I didn’t tag can definitely take up the meme as well.

[itbeajen]

Agape [7] | Yuri Plisetsky | Witch!AU

Nameless Town - Before the Tragedy - Ages: 4 "You always carry that journal around, why?" Yuri asked as he walked beside you. You had came over to play again and you nodded happily, "Mama told me this journal is a family.. family... rail... hood?" "No, it's heirloom," Yuri's grandfather chuckled, and you nodded, "Ah, yeah! That!" "Ah.." Yuri pauses, his lips still pursed into a pout and he slightly tilts his head, "What's that mean?" The beautiful orbs that normally were filled with indifference were filled with curiosity. You hummed and mumbled, "I think it's something important we keep in the family." "Oh..." Yuri's voice trailed off and then he asked, "Do you write in that journal too?" You shook your head, silver locks swishing back and forth from their twin ponytails, and pouted, "Mama said I'm not allowed to. She told me to wait until I'm older." You paused and mumbled, "But I don't know why." But the thought seems to escape you when your visage suddenly brightens and you asked Yuri to wait. He stopped and watched as you pull out two identical pendants, they were both a dull blue with a shimmer of brightness that seemed to flicker between existing and not existing. His eyes widened at the sight and you smiled brightly, "Mama said to give you one since I have two!" You extended your hand with the other pendant and Yuri gently takes a hold of it and he asked, "I can.. really have this?" You nodded, and Yuri gently turns it over in his hand. The warmth ebbing from it made him feel protected, safe, and- "Wake up."

His eyelids flutter momentarily before he finally manages to focus on the scenery before him. His eyes narrow at the sight before him. No longer was he in the cave, but rather in an intricately designed place. It was though he was sitting, or perhaps floating, among the stars. Everything felt warm, but at the same time, empty. His blue-green orbs finally settling upon the scenery before him and he groans in pain as he attempts to move. "You're awake." He whips his head in the direction of the voice. No, it's her voice. Yuri looks around, confused. He swears it's your voice. He knows it is. But where? He frowned, but it's quickly replaced by a look of surprise as a younger version of you appear before him. Your silver locks weren't as long as they were now. They were not cascading down your back like a waterfall as they do now, but instead they were neatly tied up in two. A hairstyle reminiscing the past; of a childhood that was filled with laughter and joy. Your small pink lips curve up into a weak smile and you asked, "Confused, right?" He slowly nods, and asked, "Where.. are we?" "I guess you can say your subconscious?" He looks at the way you cutely tilted your head and you said, "What did you see?" What did I see? The lines on his forehead grows as he knits his brows together in confusion. What does she mean... what did I see? But his eyes widen in realization and he mumbled, "Us." You merely look at him, as though urging him to continue and he mumbled, "I saw us... Before everything went wrong..?" There's a dull throbbing in his head and he slightly winced, but asked, "Do we... We knew each other." "Yes." Your voice was soft, and wavering, as though ethereal. He frowned, "Who.. are you?" Your visage flickers between hesitation and rejection, and Yuri doesn't know why, but he feels his heart ache at the sight. He subconsciously reaches out for you, but you take a visible step back, shaking your head. His throat feels dry, and he swallows, and slowly asked, "Why? Why can't you tell me who you are?" "You..." you paused, and corrected yourself, "I can't. In order to protect you." "I don't get it," Yuri lowered his hand back into his lap, and his head slightly lowered with it. He stares weakly at his hands and he muttered, "Why are you protecting me? I'm a hunter. I'm supposed to be the one protecting you." "No.." your voice is softer, but it sounded closer. Yuri looks up, and your kneeling beside him, your hand resting over his and you softly continued, "It's better if you don't remember who I am." Yuri clenched his fist and his voice slightly wavered, "But why?" His head raises, just enough so that you can see the pure unadulterated anguish shining within his irises. "Why would you prevent me from remembering who you are? You.. and her, you two are the same right?" He sees the slight confusion, but also there was the suspicion, that shone in your eyes and you asked, "Who?" "[F/N]." The way he had breathed out your name, it was soft, gentle, and, if you must, filled with love. Although this was only a portion of you that you had sealed within his subconscious, you couldn't help but feel warm and loved. And he noticed it, the way your breath hitched and your lips trembled. He gently captures your petite hands in his and he asked, "Tell me that you're her, please..." His head lowers, and his voice drops into a whisper, "Let me see you one last time. I don't even know if you're alive anymore, [F/N]." It's me. You wanted to scream out, but you couldn't. The spell, or perhaps it was a curse now, that you had placed upon the both of you prevented you from doing so. But he knows the answer when he sees the unshed tears in your eyes, and immediately he whispered, "Why did you leave? Why can't I remember you? Why, [F/N]?" Yuri's heads were swimming with thoughts, but most of them were regarding you. How could you have left him that day- No, let him leave you? Why did you disappear, and where did you disappear off to? Are you still alive out there, waiting for him like he was for you? Or were you gone, forever? But no... the worst would be... if you're alive, and you're her. You lick your lips, and he sees you swallow, and you weakly muttered, "I never wanted to hurt you, Yuri." The familiar ache in his heart reconfirms its presence the moment you put life into his name, and his grip on your hand tightens, not enough to hurt, but enough so that you couldn't let go. You lowered your head, as though in shame, and continued, "But I had no choice... I have to protect you from me. From the curse of being with me. It's the only way that this toxic cycle could end." "I don't-" "I know you don't understand at this moment, but you will." Your voice was weak and he licks his chapped lips and asked, "But are you-" "I'm sorry." The ever growing gut feeling he had - one that had tormented him since he first laid eyes on you in the library - pierces through him and he opens his mouth, and then closes it, and repeats. He didn't want to believe it and he asked- No, it was not a question. You can see it in his eyes, from the way he looked at you as though you had not only just ruined his life, but also crushed and shattered whatever hopes and dreams he had remaining. "Why did it have to be us?" But you don't answer, and with a fleeting yet sorrowful smile, you disappear, and he frantically reaches out for where your childish figure was once standing and he slams his fist down. He's about to cry out in anger, but the sudden realization of being able to physically hit something makes him pause and reevaluate his situation. I hit something? Yuri opened his eyes in shock and finds that the location has changed. It was the town where you and him had grown up. And his eyes widen upon seeing you standing before him, back facing him, but your hair was gently fluttering in the wind as the breeze played with it freely and carelessly. He feels his breath hitch and his voice cracks upon calling your name. But when you turn around, he feels warmth coming from his chest, and he glances down. "The pendant.." "You took so long to remember," you teased, but the playful tone was flickering away, like a candle that was on the last of its spark. He looks at you, the identical pendant resonating with his, the glow and pulse ebbing towards each other and then away, much like waves reaching the beach shore. "You better be fucking around with me that you're the White Witch," Yuri growled, but it was weak and he loses his hostility upon seeing the sad smile gracing your lips. And he shook his head, "Why did it have to be you?" "I don't know." "What am I- How am I-" Yuri's fist clenches and he vehemently muttered, "How do you expect me to handle all of this information at once? You're alive. Otabek's dead. You're the god damn White Witch and the two of us are supposed to be the saviors of this blasted world and protect people from the Sorcerer. Do you have any idea how much crap I went through because of this stupid legend?!" You don't respond, but you don't flinch. Your normally warm orbs harden to steel, and they were as cold as the snowstorm in which Otabek has first found you in. Yuri muttered, "White Witch. Hunter. Sorcerer. This whole legend is messed up and-" "The legend is a legend because no one knows the actual story." You cut in, and he looks at you in surprise, but you weren't looking his way. Your gaze fell on the town square where you, him, Otabek, and many other friends of yours had once played together in a time where there was no such thing as war. "But the actual story is the key to ending this," you softly whispered into the wind as it harshly blew past you and him. He raises his arm to shield himself from it, but once it dies out, he sees that you were no longer standing there, but instead behind him. This time you stood in front of the stone buildings that were what you once called home. He waits for you to speak, and you glanced at him, before looking away. "The White Witch and the Sorcerer were originally one being," you admitted, and his eyes widened at the new information. As though you knew he was about to speak again, you continued, "But they were separated some time after the birth of the White Witch. She was the first human to show signs of magic, if anything, we can say all magic had stemmed from her originally." Yuri watches the scenery before him change, to something like a flashback, or perhaps a window into the past. Although the figures were nothing more than silhouettes, it is clear which character is which with the way they were colored in and how the detail around them seemed to help color their identities. "But the magic was too much for one person to control," your voice filled the air, and the silhouettes began to change. "The White Witch's health wasn't strong enough to hold all the magic on her own, and with the convincing of her mother, she spread the magic to others who had an affinity for it. But the White Witch kept the darkness to herself, knowing that it was much worse to plant seeds of dark magic into innocent people." "So she kept it herself," Yuri muttered, and you nodded. You paused and sighed, "But she couldn't control it." Yuri looks over at you and his eyes widened, "It can't be." "The Sorcerer was created from the dark magic that had no place to manifest," there was a frown on your face and you muttered, "And the only way he can be defeated is.. well," you stopped. Yuri looked at you, waiting for the answer. But from the way you looked so determined, so resolved, and so accepting of the future, he felt his initial shock switch to horror and then anger. "You're lying." The way you looked at him, it wasn't asking for pity, or sorrow. You were apologetic, he could see that much, but you already had a resolution and he growled, "[F/N]! You can't be serious!" "There.. is no other answer," you retorted, but it was weak, and not filled with the determination he saw externally and he scoffed, "No other answer? Are you serious? It doesn't have to end that way. It's a legend right?! That means that-" "The story I told you was the truth, it was inscribed on the walls of the cavern and signed off by the first White Witch herself," you interjected. The intensity in your gaze made him take a step back, and your visage softens and he muttered, "Why?" "Because.. I guess to get rid of the problem, you always have to go to the very source of it right?" Your smile was weak, and although you tried to play it off, you couldn't. And Yuri clenches his fist and he muttered, "I hate you." You looked at him, eyes wide in shock. Of course he would. Of course. You closed your eyes, as though fighting back the tears. I sealed his memories, and now I told him the only way to end this is if I die too. And not to mention all the negative expectations and pressure I indirectly put him through after I sealed his memories off. What was I- "But at the same time, I don't." Your eyes flutter open in shock, and you meet his gaze. His eyes were filled with vulnerability and he takes a step towards you and he asked, "Tell me, is this really the only way?" You're suffocated by the emotions within you and you softly nod. Before you know it, he's crossed the distance between you and him, and his hand gently takes hold of yours. He clears his throat, "I don't accept this. I won't." "But it's the only-" "I know," Yuri muttered, and he leans forward until his forehead is resting against yours, "But I'm going to do everything in my power. Everything." "Yu-" "Shut up, [F/N]," and you do, albeit the pout on your lip makes him smirk. And then he pulls away with a shaky sigh, and he muttered, "So now what?" You look at him, and gently intertwine your fingers with his and give him a reassuring squeeze. "We end this madness," you responded, and then gently lean forward, resting your head against his chest where his heart is beating. Your eyes close and you mumbled, "So wake up Yuri, for the both of us."

[something-very-special]

Ask-travaganza! (Episode 2: Revenge of the Spoilers)

All right. Got another clutch of other spoiler-y Asks sitting in my inbox making me feel bad for not responding more promptly. Let’s go!

<BIG OL’ SPOILERS AHOY>

Anonymous asked: Same anon who asked about the novellas, thank you so much for the link! And also for your meta; I've appreciated it since I first found your blog when reading up on the original NieR some years back. Thank you for this blog, it's a wonderful resource and I rec it to friends who get into the games (with spoiler warnings, of course!).             

This ask contains no spoilers but it got a little buried and I only just saw it and now I feel bad for not seeing it sooner! Thank you very much for your kind words, and sending folks in! I hope they enjoyed it, too. It really means a lot to hear that.

<but for real now BIG OL’ SPOILERS>

Anonymous asked: Another thing I'd like to expand on regarding Pascal and the general memory/amnesia theme in the game, how this leitmotiv is repeated with most NPC, I'm thinking about the Wandering Couple quest which ends up in another memory wipe (reminiscent of the 9S & 2B relationship in a way), Pascal is present during the scene and even agrees with the whole starting from scratch thing. "Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it" is pretty much what I got from those dialogues and events             

This isn’t so much an Ask I feel a need to respond to as a very good point I’ve definitely wanted to repost since I saw it. Thank you for input and the observation, Anon! (And I admit I’d somewhat forgotten about Pascal’s involvement in the Wandering Couple, what with the time between occurrences and the deep emotional trauma; that’s a very interesting parallel.)

Anonymous asked: I'm quite confused about the arc, could you please explain what that was all about? Who decided to build it, how and why? And why do the machine lifeforms want to go to another planet (assuming they can even get there)? Sorry I thought the whole thing was very poetic but I must have missed something because I just don't get the logic behind it?             

The Ark is actually aimed at the lunar server, not another planet, which is pretty integral to its function.

The idea behind the Ark is directly related to the reason for the machine’s evolution; they’re attempting to achieve self-actualization and break free of their programming cycle. The machines and the androids are stuck in an infinite cycle that can basically only be broken by humanity-- interestingly, for the androids, revealing the nature of the lunar server would have shattered their entire society, while the machines were interested in reaching the server so they could effectively become human.

The Ark was meant to fire them to the server so they could integrate that nature of humanity into themselves, transcending their doomed programming and allowing them to become something more. This is especially interesting in light of N2 proclaiming itself to have ‘surpassed’ its programming yet still demand the assimilation of humanity; even in its vast awareness it was still bound by its fundamental nature, and allowing the Ark to connect to the lunar server and instill the chaos and uncertainty of humanity into the robots would have been enough to finally, truly unbind it, and alongside it all of the robots.

Not really a bad plan, and it presents that parallel between the robots and the androids, as the primary difference between them (besides their models, of course) is that, while they’re both made from the same fundamental core, the androids are infused with human memory and personality. Whether that’s enough for them to break the infinite failure cycle the machine cores are doomed to repeat is left for the audience to decide.

saltsoldier asked: I understand if you don't answer this because of spoilers, but did you notice that the character marker for the son from the recluse sidequest was still in his house when it was on fire?? It's during that bit when you're A2, clearing out the village. I think you have to have done the sidequest as 9S to see it, but he's locked himself into a burning building. It's a very subtle, very dark inclusion to that section of the game.

That guy’s a fucking trooper!

I mean, no matter what, it’s still pretty dark -- the whole village is still dead no matter what -- but what I personally noticed even beyond that is that when you return to the Village (at any point as 9S -- which is super creepy if you do it before A2′s segment because he’s chronologically moving after she is so you go there and find it silent and filled with robot corpses what happened oh god -- or as A2 after everything’s said and done) he’s still there. Other than Pascal (assuming you wiped his memory and he’s still alive), he’s the only NPC marker remaining in the village. That little guy survived having his house set on fire while a giant thorn-snake repeatedly rips through the building.

It’s not exactly sunshine and roses, given that he lived through a catastrophe that killed everybody else in the village, and if Pascal survives he’ll have forgotten the recluse anyway, but...

Remember that one boy who lost his sole family member after a simple misunderstanding, who cut his own arm and decided to wage a mindless war on the machines? No, not 9S but Gideon from the Junk Heap. Don't you find it funny how Yoko Taro made a whole game out of this tragedy and a CD drama about Emil fighting aliens in space? (I'm so glad Yuri Lowenthal didn't voice 9S, I got a bit of scare when the Automata english trailers showed up thinking he was playing one of the main leads)             

Hey hey now! 9S had his blown off, it wasn’t part of a deranged self-mutilation ritual. Totally different. (But oh, yeah, I remember.) In regards to that, it occurs to me -- and I know I’m just saying nonsense here -- that it’s even theoretically possible 9S’s memory infusion came from Gideon. A2 is hinted at to actually be patterned off Kaine, so it’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility. Very bright and technologically gifted young men being driven into complete psychological collapse when the locus of their self-worth and individual meaning is abruptly and violently lost... I mean, they both go through some serious traumatizing shit so it’s definitely understandable for both of them to collapse in the same way, buuuuut it’s a kind of neat parallel. But it’s only a theory. A game theory. (Is that... is the statute on that joke expired yet? I don’t know.) In regards to the other point, I am beyond tickled that Yoko Taro keeps doing this: “Hey, you know what would be funny? If we made the joke ending from Drakengard canon and it turned out it completely destroyed our universe when it happened.” “Hey, you know what would be funny? If that joke I made about ‘and then Emil fought aliens’ started a millennia long war between Earth and invaders from beyond the stars.” (”Hey, you know what would be funny? If that little goofy bonus track of Emil humming his theme to himself went to its illogical conclusion and he spends his days zipping around a shattered cityscape belting out made-up words to his own theme song/shop jingle.”) I can’t wait for it to turn out Ending K was the real finale to the game and the prequel to Automata is all about how mackerel became so toxic. I’m sure it’s irrationally tragic.