#touya being on the smaller side is near and dear to me

[mitoodem]

hello tumblr, have this AU because I think those kids deserved to be a happy little squad. Honestly, Touya is so competitive, you know he'd be great at any sport. But something about him playing football in a team (or soccer whatever you call it) just hits right. Like there's the potential growth you know ? From egotistical brat to fabulous teamplayer ?

[natsutodoroki]

You’ve always been a late bloomer.

You refused to depart from your mothers womb 3 weeks after you were due to come out. You, young & full of dimples & smiles & whatever else a baby had, refused to talk until you neared 14 months. You found walking a hassle, forgot how to breathe   too caught up in the world of watching your brother of eating your sisters hair. In reality, perhaps these were just little hints to how you were going to become todoroki enjis third failure, or simply the worlds last ounces of kindness to you before things were slipped away. You are always a late bloomer, & this time it doesn’t change. 

You are 3 when you develop your quirk.

It’s cold, it’scoldcoldcold as ice slips through your shaking palms into the world around you, freezing the room down below the average temperature you’re used to. You see your older brother crack something of a smile. Your sisters brows, furrowed together in caution, & the relief. You see the relief in your mothers face. You feel joyous, too, undisclosed but joyous all the same.

“ Is that all you can do? ” Your father asks you. “ No flames? ”

“ I don’t think so. ”

He turns directly to your mother. “ ... Then you’ve raised another failure. ” ( failure, a word that would ring in your minds eye forever, not natsuo, not son, failure   that’s all you’ve ever been. )

It’s the last time your father ever looks you in the eyes.

Todoroki Shouto is born when you are 4.

He’s tiny, but the doctors say he’s pretty average for a baby. One eye matching your mothers & the other just like your fathers. The perfect half & half baby, you’d heard spoken by your father out in the corridor. Touya boops his nose & Fuyumi complains of being the only girl in the family & your mother, dear mother, can only laugh softly. 

When it’s your turn to see him, you offer him a finger, his tiny hand ends up latching onto it instead. 

“ Shou - chan, i’m gonna be the best big brother you ever had! ”

( what a lie that was, you muse 14 years later as he tells you he likes soba the most, most brothers would’ve known this much years ago. )

Shouto learns to walk faster than you, talk faster than you. His hair follows his eyes in a match up of both mother & father & he shines brighter in both their eyes everyday. You, surprisingly, have minimal memories of this time. ( a lot of the information is brought up through fuyumi & mothers talks back in the hospital. ) 

He’s the epitome of Todoroki Enji’s mind, & when his quirk shows up to be perfect, it comes less of a surprise than most. 

It’s only the events that pursue after that alert you that something is truly wrong.

You remember the first day you heard shouto’s crying.

No, correction, mother’s screaming & shouto’s crying. Both together, never one without the other ( until mother had to go, then it was only one. )

You do not remember your first reaction, though, only your responce. 

You were awake before they happened. ( awake, always awake & knowing & there ). You were awake when they began, & continued. You were awake during the footsteps.

You were awake enough to run into Touya.

Touya, Touya with shaking fists & glowering eyes. Armed with a rage to match your fathers own, Touya     who’d spent his whole life insisting that things would be okay soon, that everyone was going to be alright. Touya, who had searched for fathers approval & done his best only to wake up to the truth. 

He blinks at you. 

You blink back.

( it’s funny, how two people reaching for the same outcome can come together to create something different. rei is the mother to the both of you, you are both shoutos older brothers. but touya is touya-nii, & you: tear stained & confused, are still his younger brother too. ) 

He guides you back into your room. Sleeps beside you & covers your ears with his palms.

It’s a routine, until he goes.

After an incident with Shouto, mother leaves.

( You’re upset. )

After a while, Touya leaves too.

( You’re upset. )

Years later, in a blaze of “glory”, you leave too.

( You’re upset. )

You know Todoroki Fuyumi lives in a world of twos.

Two pairs of glasses on her possession at all times. Two black pens on the left hand side of her desk. Two stars for two children in her preschool class. Two of everything she likes a little bit more than the rest of them.

Todoroki Fuyumi had found something lucky in the number two, but with her siblings    that shouldn’t have been it.

“ I’ve been through the same with my two brothers. ” She tells some small time pro in the middle of one of todoroki enji’s parties.

“ Well, being the oldest is the hardest ! “ they reply, & suddenly it hits you.

With the vanishment of the presence leads a vanishment of the name: Todoroki touya is simply a burnt out piece of paper with the memories to boot. ( You shouldn’t be surprised, the numb acceptor in you compromises, it was bound to happen the moment they found him gone. )

You excuse yourself when the hurt finds your face.

“ You look like you’ve seen a ghost. ” remarks a smoker outside the building.

“ I have. ” You say, & throw up all over their shoes.

Just because you are not your father does not mean you do not share similar traits, a tall & broad body, for one, & that unwavering stubbornness to never back down in cases where you maybe should.

Fuyumi, in that sense, takes after mother: the forgive & forget to your resent & remember. Dressed in her work clothes & a smile so sorrowed you’d struggle to not feel bad over whatever she wants to say.

“ Can I come in ? ” she shoves her box of leftovers at you

“ Sure. ” you take them.

“ We need to talk … “ She murmurs in a mouth full of sushi.

“ Yeah, well it was really sunny today Yumi. The news reports state it’s gonna be pretty cold tomorrow, I’m kinda grateful for that lack of heat, y’know – “

“ Natsu…. I didn’t forget Touya. You understand that, right? It’s just, dad mentioned that it would be better &      . ”

“ You’re doing this for dad. ” You parrot, there’s that familiar acidic taste in your mouth. “ Touya can go rot in hell for all we care as long as the man who gave him both physical & metaphorical scars can stay happy & question free, right? ”

“ That’s not what    . ”

“ Well it sure sounds like it! First mum, now touya, I wouldn’t be surprised if shouto’s going through it about me, too! ”

“ No, Shouto misses you, we both do… you didn’t leave us & I don’t believe you plan too, natsuo. I don’t want to lose anyone else in this house, I can’t go through it again… “ there’s hurt in her voice, you can’t understand it.

“ But Touya did & that’s on him, yeah? Its funny, how many times he stuck up for us but now he’s gone we can’t do the same for him, huh? Bullshit, yumi, it feels like no one gives a shit about touya in this household apart from me ! ”

Maybe this is your breaking point, eyes full of tears before you crash into her smaller frame. She, the ever present forgiver, wraps your hair around her fingers & soothes you. just like you’re a young boy again, left behind again, lost again.

You are Todoroki Natsuo & you live by three things. 

1. You are not a failure. ( it’s repeated in the mouth of your therapist, the 5 o’clock notification in your phone & written in random post it notes between stacks of college work. )

2. You don’t have to forgive him. ( fuyumi & mother may do, & you have no right to change their minds, but you do not have to follow the same route. )

3. You are simply yourself, live that way.