#touch averse castiel

[oginkbloodedwitch]

BCRB 2022

Title: By Invitation Only (aka: Tackling Mt. PDA.)

Artist: Blusxa

Author: Inkblooded Witch.

Rating: Explicit.

Wordcount: 15,820

Tags/Warnings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Eileen, Top! Dean, Himbo! Dean, Personal Trainer/Dietician! Dean, Bottom! Castiel, Auditor! Castiel, Touch Averse! Castiel, Anxiety over PDA, Domestic Fluff, Smut, BCRB 2022. 

Summary:

The only way Castiel has managed to keep himself together and functioning is by applying order to the chaos around him. He has yet to meet a problem that can’t be sequenced or boxed or logged on a spreadsheet, there is a place for everything and everything better be in its place. The exception to this is his boyfriend, whom he loves dearly, chaos and all. Dean is the exception to a number of rules, for better or worse. But if the man would stop trying to touch him in public, that would be swell. 

Art Link: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/102278854

Fic Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42683964/chapters/107224020

[via-l0ve]

i saw ur spn works n i looooveeee them :3 if u dont mind.. could u write ab dean, sam, n cas with a reader whos touch averse but also touch starved? very very uncomfortable with touch from other people (to the point of feeling sick or a breakdown) but when it comes to them, reader loves their touch (has a hard time initiating it though) reader will only ever tolerate their touch, it makes them feel so comfortable <3

Touchy (SPN Pref!) 🩷

a/n: i’m back babies :3 hope you enjoy :)

warnings: nothing! very slight angst because of crying and struggle to explain feelings.

Dean:

it takes dean a minute to realize how special he is to you

over the years, he had seen you flinch and squirm away from others touches

he’d been there to comfort you after a particularly hard time, consoling you when you break down from the overwhelming touches of other people

so when you guys started dating, naturally he was cautious around you

he loves you more than anything, but his worst fear was upsetting you

at first, he almost never touched you

until one day when you stood next to him, he saw you reaching your hand near his and pulling away, practically shaking

he acts on impulse, taking your hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze

after that, he was the only one who was allowed to touch you

and if ANYONE ever stepped beyond your boundaries

dean would bury his fist in their face before their fingers could graze you

—

Sam:

Sam always tried to understand why you hated the touch of people but yet yearned for it

He always intimidated people if they touched you, threatening them if they chose to not listen to your social cues

He was always there for you

24/7/365 whenever you felt uncomfortable, he wanted you to tell him

which is why, he suspects, when you started going out, he touched you rarely

he’d graze your hand with his or rub food or makeup off of your face

but when you told him through tears how much you loved his touch, he realized

you needed it. you just didn’t know how to say it.

so since then same always has contact with you when he is near you

whether it be an arm around your shoulders, his hand on your thigh, fingers interlocked, anything

he’d never let go

—

Castiel:

my baby :(

he always was so concerned about your feelings

he never wants anything to upset you

he especially never wanted to upset you

he always asks about your boundaries, why you don’t like people touching you, what he could do to help, etc

the one time that he witnessed you break down, he was the most concerned he had ever been.

heaven couldn’t prepare him for the love he felt for you

When a nasty hunt happened, castiel was scared seeing the blood seep from your clothes

you stumble to the bed, shaking and crying from the pain in your abdomen

cas rests his hands on your stomach, whispering some consoling words and “i’m sorry”’s for touching you

but he was surprised when you didn’t say anything, just grabbing his hand after he had healed you

“are you alright?” he asks, but then realizes

you just want his touch

only his

and Castiel smiles the biggest you’d ever seen and keeps a gentle hand on your stomach.

[profoundbondfanfic]

Born to be yours by zation [Explicit, 72k words]

Castiel finds a curious creature in his backyard. Or, The one where Dean wanted an apple but found himself a human instead (and also an apple).

Breathing Into You by casblackfeathers [Explicit, 110k words]

‘Beware the deep sea, that’s where the monsters come from.’ Dean had heard these words since birth, his father’s warnings shaping him into the man he is today. That’s not the root of Dean’s hatred for merpeople, though. Twenty years after the day tragedy had touched the Winchesters’ lives forever as well as the end of the Great War between humans and mer, Dean is still haunted by that moment. But loving the sea is just as much a part of him as the dread for the merfolk, so when he isn’t working at the local bar, he is there, underwater, immersed in the vast blue his mother used to speak of in her bedtime stories. Dean knows, however, that the sea can be as ruthless as it is soothing. When he is caught in the middle of a storm and faces the anger of the waves, the mysterious appearance of a stranger with blue eyes as clear as the waters Dean loves losing himself in forces Dean to question the truth behind his father’s old mantra.

carving deep blue ripples by dothraki_shieldmaiden [Mature, 85k words]

With his little brother at Stanford and his father searching out leads on the monster that killed his mother, Dean Winchester is left to hunt alone. It's fun, except in the ways that it really blows. Things start to turn around when he meets Castiel Novak, another hunter. Castiel is aloof and maybe a little too sarcastic, but he's good backup (and pretty easy on the eyes. Not that Dean's looking or anything). After a few hunts, Dean is willing to make his and Castiel's partnership permanent (and he's not exactly averse to adding another component to their partnership either. After all, he's caught Castiel looking at him just as many times as Castiel's caught him looking). But Castiel is hiding a secret, and it's so explosive that it threatens to not only tear them apart, but also tear apart everything Dean believes in.

Convenient Husbands by Annie D (scaramouche) [Explicit, 39k words]

"It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?"

Dragon Hunt by peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) [Explicit, 171k words]

What is a former knight fallen from grace supposed to do when one day, after almost a decade of scouring the outskirts of the kingdom for his missing brother, he finds himself confronted with a powerful, terrifying and also ridiculously weird dragon? Yes, exactly: team up with the guy and scam oblivious people out of their money! Easy as that, right? (In which Dean ends up stumbling upon a strange, blue-eyed dragon and before he even knows what's happening he is in way too deep to get out again.)

It's a Small World (aka the Worst Ride at Disneyland) by ireadhpinenochian [Mature, 45k words]

Dean's life didn't start out great. With his mom dying and his father taking him and Sam on wild goose chase after wilder goose chase to track down her killer until Sam couldn't take it anymore and ran off, it pretty much sucked. But now he has Cas. And Cas is great--perfect, even--definitely the best thing that's ever happened to him, even if he isn't quite human. He's been living so long in domestic bliss that he completely forgot to be worried about waiting for the other shoe to drop. Which is, of course, when his giant of a brother strolls back into his life sending Dean into a panic that he and Cas will have to uproot their perfect apple pie life if Sam finds out Cas' big secret.

Like Lightning Under Your Skin by A_Diamond [Explicit, 24k words]

Desperate for a way to save his brother from a demon’s clutches, hunter Dean does the unthinkable and seeks out a supernatural creature for help: a powerful lightning elemental, the kind he and his family should be killing. When his attempt to bind the elemental goes awry, he finds himself psychically connected to it instead. The creature’s emotions bleed into his; its pain echoes into him. Rather than finding the solution to saving Sam, Dean’s given himself a new and even more time-sensitive problem. He has to find a way to master the bond before the rest of the hunters decide he’s too far gone and put him down. The trouble is that the more time he spends connected to the elemental’s thoughts, the more he starts to wonder if they don’t have it all wrong. Maybe the creature, which calls itself Castiel, doesn’t deserve to be slaughtered; maybe the rest of its kind hadn’t deserved that, either. Or maybe that’s just Castiel’s voice in his head.

Man in the Wilderness by OneHundredSuns [Explicit, 68k words]

Dean Winchester is fresh out of Purgatory along with every other Tom, Dick and Wendigo that called the cesspool home. As the monsters lay waste to the Earth and eat anything they can get their hands on, Dean sets out to find his only remaining family so that they can hunker down and fight the assholes head on. He doesn’t mean to stumble upon Castiel Novak and his adorable twins in the middle of the apocalypse and he sure as hell doesn’t mean to offer them a ride to wherever they are trying to get to. But the world is a dangerous place now and he’s always been a sucker for blue eyes and cute kids. So he’ll help them out and just hope it doesn’t get him or them killed in the process.

Miasma by ValandraWrites [Explicit, 13k words]

Dean's grown up with a monster under his bed. They kind of became friends. Then they kind of became more than friends.

The Graveyard Shift by PurgatoryJar, riseofthefallenone [Explicit, 620k words]

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

[destieltaggedfic]

Alternate Universe - Part 15

Come Back To Me - Luciel89   Ao3

AU.  Angels and humans live side by side, but there is some animosity towards angels.  Dean and Cas had grown up as friends but had been separated when Cas’ family moved away.  He’s now back in town and runs into Dean again.

Word Count: 18k                              Graphic Sexual Acts

Mechanics and Musicians – AshwinMeird   Ao3

AU.  The radio is Dean’s domain and no one else in the garage is allowed to touch it unless he isn’t working.  Jo finds his weak spot though in a band called Misguided Angel.  She’s going to find out why he doesn’t mind them when their singer comes into the garage one day.

Word Count: 4k                                 No Sex

Master of Touch - Sweet_Enerliel   Ao3

AU.  Against his will, Cas is gifted a massage.  Massage therapist Dean is going to get rid of Cas’ aversion to touch.  When he makes it a regular thing, they become friends.

Word Count: 29k                              Graphic Sexual Acts

Wrong Place, Right Time – palominopup   Ao3

AU.  Single father Castiel thought he had picked up a hooker for the night.   A few days later he realises that he had actually successfully propositioned the owner of a chain of car restoration garages and the brother of one of his employees.  Dean quickly falls for both the guy and his adorable son.

Word Count: 93k                              Graphic Sexual Acts

Trade - Cloudnine101   Ao3

AU.  On your 18th birthday you swap bodies with your soul mate and only swap back when they hit their 18th.  Dean has woken up in his best friend’s body.

Word Count: 2k                                 No Sex

[castieldelamancha]

Castiel doesn't know much about comforting humans, specially in a physical way. Not like he would ever do something like hugging Dean, that's a comforting gesture he has seen humans do for eons, but he doesn't think Dean, not now in his desperation, or in any other moment really, would appreciate Castiel making him participant of what he would claim is a cheesy emotional moment. He simply sits down next to him, on the steps to Bobby's porch and offers him the beer Bobby told Castiel was for Dean. Dean takes it but doesn't say anything, he doesn't take a sip either, he stares down at it and, for a moment, Castiel believes he is going to smash it on the ground.

"This will never be over, Cas." He says, quietly.

Castiel doesn't know what to say to that. He could agree, add his own hopelessness to the one Dean is feeling, create an ugly monster that will take away what little light the future ahead seems to have in store for them. He could try and give Dean some encouraging words. But he isn't good with those, he isn't good at lying either.

He stares at Dean and, while doing so, he spreads his wings, slowly. Dean can't see them, can't feel them, but Castiel lets one of them rest over his shoulders, covering him gently. The other one bends forwards in front of them, as to shield them from the world, from prying even, from any harm waiting for them out there.

"You are tired," he states, "but we have to keep trying." Dean, almost imperceptibly, moves closer to him. He drinks some beer.

"I guess so."

.

Castiel hugs back, just as tightly as Dean is holding him, he unfurls his wings and they wrap themselves around Dean too, the touch and sight of them invisible to the human eye, but he can feel Dean's soul rejoicing at their embrace. Their reunion, their forgiveness. His wings aren't as glorious as they used to be when he first started using them to hold Dean close, in a way that is selfish in a way that would probably have Dean upset with him if he knew what Castiel is doing. They are tired and wounded, missing feathers here and there, full of scars and missing their original strength, the brightness of what used to be their rich dark blue color.

But they still allow him such a tender gesture as this one, a quiet confession of love that he can afford, a well-kept secret.

Castiel can't wait to get out of here, Purgatory a hostile land full of dangers, not like the world waiting for them out there is any better.

He also wants this moment, their embrace, to last forever. His feathers touch Dean's face gently, as if they were hands cradling it lovingly, his wings refuse to let him go, just as Cas' arms.

But it can't last forever, nothing can. Soon they are on the go, running towards the exist, their mission a success. As they rush back to Earth, side by side, Castiel makes sure one of his wings stays around Dean, the grace infused in them dancing gently with the glow of Dean's soul.

.

Far behind are the days when Castiel could simply reach out with his wings and envelope Dean with them as a sign of closeness and comfort. Long gone now he misses at times the way he could feel the warmth of Dean's body against his feathers, the intimacy of it all as they closed around them, solid walls only his eyes could see.

But where there is lost now there is also a win, he doesn't need his wings anymore to hold Dean as he used to. He still has his arms and his hands and not only that he has also found out that Dean is far from being averse to this kind of affections as Castiel thought him to be.

So, whenever he feels the need to put his wings around Dean he simply walks up to him and lets his arms wrap around him, he holds him close, be it for a few seconds or for long minutes that seem to pass in the blink of an eye. Dean always hugs him back, a small smile on his lips, a kiss on his cheek.

The best part, Castiel thinks, is that Dean now can see, feel and enjoy that comfort and love Castiel had always wanted to give him so openly as he does now.

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Asterism of an F-Series Ford Pick Up

Asterism of an F-Series Ford Pick Up https://ift.tt/uHtOQMb by disabled_dean When you've been to hell, desire is isolating and ugly. Or: Cas drives his truck for a case and Dean is exceptionally horny about it   “Once on a hunt when he was a teenager, Dean had been caught too close to an explosive when it had gone off. There had been the moment when the projectile hit, and the moment when it had detonated. And just before it had, there had also been a moment when he had believed that maybe it wouldn’t. He had thought about that moment for years, over and over again, until something else had taken its place. And the way that that moment was quiet, the way it was still- that is how this feels. To lie beside Cas in the bed of his truck, their shoulders barely touching.” Words: 727, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Case Fic, summertime, PTSD, Touch-Averse Dean Winchester, Touch-Starved Dean Winchester, Demisexual Dean Winchester, Cas drives his truck for a case and Dean is exceptionally horny about it, Though maybe not in the way that you'd expect, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Dean struggles with emotional intimacy, Sex Dreams, Nightmares, mild body horror, Dean Winchester Has PTSD, Dean Winchester Has Flashbacks of Hell, Dean Winchester Has Trauma From Hell, The Truck is a Metaphor, Only one Truck Bed, Star Gazing, Alternate Angel Lore (Supernatural), Mini exploration of how Cas' faith has changed since his fall thrown in as a treat, Ambiguously set during s12 via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/XEpSl62 November 19, 2023 at 09:05PM

[hekate1308]

Leaves That Before The Wild Hurricane Fly, A Destiel Advent Calendar, December 12

Masterpost

Read it on AO3

As he carried his present home, he couldn’t help but feel that despite the snow that was still dirtying the sidewalks, everything seemed warmer, lighter –

Or perhaps he was just more aware of the world around him. Yes, it was cold and wet and the snow had long ago lost any white pearliness he’d had and adapted the greatness of the city, but even so, there was something to the crispness of the air that was rather refreshing, and even a promise of better things to come –

God, when had he become so… sentimental? He’d never been an optimist, so…

It was Dean, of course. He was just… so very friendly, so very kind. Even if he knew that the Fae needed him, or thought he needed him, there was something –

He concentrated on the poinsettia. In truth, he had killed almost every plant he had ever touched, but if he ever succeeded, he was certain it would eb with this one.

He had not had a poinsettia before, either, not even for Christmas, not even a fake one, even though he knew people liked to put them up. But then again, he simply hadn’t celebrated in the last few years… or much ever, really…

As soon as he got home, he sought a nice spot for the plant and thankfully found it. He didn’t think he would have been able to look Dean in the eye and tell him that the plant had died because he hadn’t done what he was told to do. The earth was still moist enough, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

Unto what they had talked about, meaning he had to talk to Raphael. Now, even as he had been talking about letting him go, he’d let him know that he considered him “perfectly pleasant but not cut out for the job” meaning he would probably be surprised that Castiel of all people had found a story all on his own, but it was worth a try…

He knew some of his colleagues called their boss on the weekends but it had always struck him as impolite. But this was his job they were talking about, or rather, this was about so much more – the creatures and witches rights, for one thing.

Well then.

He called him.

“Castiel! How can I help you?`”

He probably thought he was about to hand his in resignation before he was let go, but he quickly explained what he was up to, as Dean would most likely have called it.

“Hm. And you say the creatures are willing to talk to you?”

There was something about the way he pronounced the words the creatures that made him think he meant a much more insulting one. “As a matter of fact, I am already in contact with –“

“Ah, of course.” Again, his voice was dripping with derision, and Castiel managed to stay calm even as he recalled that Raphael had never bothered to even remember Ishim’s name, no matter how many work functions they had visited together.

“Yes, well, I was just wondering if you would consider this an interesting story?”

“It could be. It depends how our readers react to it, of course” he said., “But there might even be the potential for a series in there, provided it’s well-written…”

And he had hardy ever considered an article of Castiel’s as such, he knew. “Alright, I’ll go to work, then.”

Normally he would never have dared be so assertive, but he felt buoyed by the lunch he had just had, and even more by the company…

“I would not be averse to receiving a draft”. That was just the kind of thing Raphael had loved to say since he had taken over the job, so Castiel took it as much of an affirmation as he would get.

They ended their talk soon after, and right after that, he sent Dean a text.

Raphael agreed to let me write the article.

Great news, sunshine. Knew you could do it ;)

He told himself that he really should know better by now, but instead, he saved the text like the others.

Then he went to his laptop. While he didn’t feel comfortable just disclosing anything about their lunch, it would be a good idea to let people know that yes, creatures ate just like any other human, and that they liked to have meals together, as well.

For if there was one thing one could never underestimate, it was human naivete, or so he had learned in the course of his work.

For so long, he had stare dat blank pages, unable to even out a word down.

Now, he simply didn’t think about it.

And all through the afternoon and well into the night, he wrote and wrote and wrote.

[the-real-anywolf]

Pretty Alpha

Title: Pretty Alpha

Authors: anyrei | @anyreiart and queerwerewolf | @queerwolfsstuff

Rating: Explicit

Beta(s): Hectatess | @hectatess​

Archive Warnings: None

Content/Trigger Warning(s): Just be mindful of the kink tags!

Tags: A/B/O - Verse, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega!Castiel, alpha!Dean Winchester, Omega!Inias, Professor Castiel, Sex Worker Dean Winchester, No MPreg, Pro Child-Free, Romance, True Mates, Explicit Sexual Content, Dom/sub Undertones, Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester, BUT, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Switching, But Castiel Eventually Succumbs to His Nature, Power Bottom Castiel, Knotting, Scent Kink, Scent Marking, Breeding Kink, If You Have an Aversion to the Word "Slick" You May Want to Skip this One, We Shake Things Up a Bit with A/B/O Power Dynamics, Omegas and Betas Overthrew the Alphas, Richard Gere and Julia Roberts Eat Your Heart Out

Word Count: ~41k

Pairing(s): Castiel/Dean Winchester, Past Castiel/Inias

Summary:

Cas had been with other Omegas his whole life. Not only because alphas were suppressed and kept away from polite society, but also because he liked to be dominant in bed. Unfortunately, his biology forces him to get in touch with an alpha sex worker when his physician informs him his heats will increase in frequency and intensity over the next year.

A decision that turns out to change his life forever.

Notes: Technically, even though we posted an A/B/O fic in the kinky Destiel smutvent calendar, that was technically our second A/B/O fic. Any and I present: Pretty Alpha! Our first foray into the A/B/O universe, and of course, that means we had to shake things up a bit.

Read it here!

[angelofthequeers]

hi, i was making an aroace sapphic character and wondered if you could give me any tips? :)

I can sure try! If anyone is uncomfortable with semi-explicit talk about sex (in terms of smutty writing and vague personal anecdotes) then feel free to skip over the asexuality part. I’m mostly going to talk about my own experiences as an aroace sapphic to try and offer more depth than just generic character advice. And this is my experience; not every aroace is the same. I’ll also refer to your character with she/her pronouns but they might not be the ones that she uses, so I apologise in advance if that’s the case.

So this is assuming that she’s fully aroace instead of, like, somewhere else on the aro and ace spectra (such as demisexual or greyromantic). I direct you to look up oriented, angled, and electio aroace to get a better idea of ways in which this entire package of aro, ace, and sapphic might come together - you don’t have to use or adhere to these labels but they do provide handy information in case you want a better understanding for your character. Basically:

Asexual

I don’t experience sexual attraction (or if I do and I’m demi like I first thought, I sure as hell haven’t noticed it yet). I never look at someone and think “hmm, they’re so physically hot and I want to smash them specifically”. A lot of my smutty writing was heavily influenced by other people’s smut at the start because, like...I didn’t know what was supposed to be hot. I didn’t inherently know what to describe when writing sex scenes. I had to rely a lot on other people and put together what they found “hot” in terms of physical descriptions of bodies because I don’t feel that kind of draw to people. Back when I was into Supernatural, everyone always went nuts over Misha Collins’ hipbones and I was like...yeah, they’re nice aesthetically because they stick out and they’d probably be sharp and cool to touch, and I incorporated that into my writing by often focusing on Castiel’s hipbones from Dean’s perspective. But I truly didn’t understand why they were considered so attractive. I wasn’t physically drawn to any part of Misha or Castiel (apart from things like his hair and eyes, and even then it wasn’t a sexual draw) and I had to absorb what parts allosexual writers found hot and then translate that into my own writing. I claimed to have a crush on Brendon Urie when I was 16 purely so I wouldn’t look like a “freak” to the other girls in my year, and I made that claim based on my aesthetic draw to his looks and assuming that that was what sexual attraction had to be.

(Look up aesthetic attraction. It’ll blow your mind once you realise that you can be drawn to people without it being sexual in any way. This is a very good definition of it).

And it’s important to separate libido (sex drive) and attraction (the draw to specific people) because a lot of aces can have an average to high libido and even sleep with people but just...not feel sexually drawn to anyone. So in the case of your character, you have to decide whether she’s going to have no libido and/or is squicked by the concept of sex, or if she’s got a higher libido and is drawn to the concept of sex, or anything in between. Me personally? My libido and my draw to the concept of sex fluctuates - sometimes it’s as high as what you’d expect from a typical allosexual, sometimes even the vague idea makes me cringe and my engine is flat - but I’m never attracted to anyone specifically. That lack of attraction is what makes me ace, because you can also get allosexual people (non-asexuals) whose libido and relationship with sex is like this.

There’s that misconception that ace people are pure virgins who cringe at the very idea of being touched and sure, some ace people are sex-repulsed and touch-averse, but a lot of us aren’t. Some of us might enjoy sex as a bonding activity in the same way that you’d enjoy yoga or another form of exercise; it’s nice and feels good, but it’s not exactly our highest priority and we could go without it for a good while if we wanted. Some of us actively enjoy sex and initiate it often. Some of us are okay with one-night stands because we’re not attracted to anyone specifically and just want the sex. Some of us don’t want to do it with someone else but enjoy some self-love every now and then, whether as stress relief or because that’s just the kind of sex we enjoy. Some of us are okay with touching someone sexually but don’t want that touch reciprocated.

Even if you’re not planning on putting your character into a sexual situation, it’s handy to figure out her relationship to sex and touch because that can give her another dimension, such as where does she draw the line with touching? At what point does she see it as going from non-sexual to sexual? What kind of touch does she crave? Does she not want any touch at all, either because she hates it or because she’s afraid that it’ll inevitably stray into sexual touching? I crave touch because I’m a very tactile person, but when I’m touching someone who’s not a family member, I’m always uncomfortably aware of how one tiny shift in position or one slide of a hand can make things stray out of my comfort zone and send the wrong message. And I hate it when people unexpectedly draw me into contact, such as someone suddenly hugging me. That could also be a dimension of my autism, but I do feel that my asexuality plays a part because touch from a family member of mine is always different to that of anyone else.

Aromantic

And then we come to romantic attraction. I...don’t know what that is. I mean, I do know what it is in theory, but where’s the line between platonic attraction and romantic? Some of us aros might enjoy romantic-coded things like kissing, yet not feel that romantic draw to a specific person. And what makes these things romantic in the first place? Dates are just a hang-out between people where you get to know them better. Kissing can be a sexual thing, and many one-night stands or friends with benefits kiss without it being romantic. Family members cuddle. Friends compliment each other’s appearances. All of these things can potentially be reshaped to remove the romantic element, and that’s what makes it so confusing for me personally to figure out wtf romantic attraction is.

Just like with asexuality, we can range from romance-repulsed to craving a relationship that’s romantic in nature. Some of us are okay with being in a romantic relationship with a friend who’s attracted to us in that way because we want increased intimacy and don’t mind it taking on a romantic tone. Some of us freak out when a friend confesses to us. Some of us don’t really want or don’t care for a romantic relationship but want to not look like an outsider to alloromantics. Some of us do it for the tax benefits.

(But in all seriousness, the world is currently heavily skewed in favour of romance. Some places only accept your next-of-kin if they’re legally family i.e. your spouse, and just being their good friend won’t cut it. Capitalism makes it so that we basically have to live with others to survive in certain places because living alone is inaccessible. Marriage comes with certain benefits that other relationships don’t. Queerplatonic relationships can be just as deep as romantic ones and incorporate everything that romantic ones do yet in a deromanticised way, yet they’re not seen as valid. Look up alterous attraction to see how love and attraction can be so deep and yet something that doesn’t slot neatly into romantic or platonic. Once you start seeing all this, you just can’t stop).

I had a month-long online relationship with a girl back in 2017 and I thought I was feeling romantic attraction. I was giddy to talk to her, I had 7-hour phone calls when I normally had anxiety around phone calls, I felt good and happy when she sent me selfies...but there was something about the relationship that I couldn’t put my finger on. I thought at the time that it was just because it being online meant that I didn’t have the physical intimacy (like cuddling) and that affected it, but now I realise that I’m aro and I was trying to force myself into this idea of an ideal relationship because I didn’t know that you could be close and not be romantic partners. I still talk to her and we’re still close, but there’s so much less pressure and panic now that I’m not trying to force myself to be attracted to her in a way that I think I should be. But I’m still drawn to her in a way that I’m not drawn to men and in a way that’s not just platonic, which is why I call myself sapphic aroace. And even if I figure out whether I am drawn to men as well, it still feels...different. More on that later on in this ask. But it’s basically why I just call myself queer and why I’ve given up on trying to find the Perfect Microlabel for myself, because I never will.

So regarding your character, the first thing to do is figure out where exactly she sits on the aromantic spectrum. Is she fully aro? Does she feel romantic attraction once in a blue moon, and who does she feel it towards? How close would she have to be to someone to feel that attraction? Does she constantly question what romantic attraction is, or does she not even care what it is? Does she want a romantic relationship, or does she crave close friendship? Does she not understand where that boundary between close friendship and romance is? How would she react if a friend confessed romantic feelings to her? Is she okay with doing things like cuddling, or does she fear that it’ll be misread as romantic? How does she react when people tell her to stop flirting or otherwise imply that she is? Can she tell when others are flirting with her? What even is love at first sight? Why is romantic love so much more important than platonic or familial or any other form? Why are people so obsessed with finding The One™? Why can stories only be relatable/attractive/amazing/etc. if there’s a romantic relationship in them? Why are the ‘greatest love stories of all time’ romantic? Why can’t those greatest love stories be between friends? What do you do when you’ve got a wlw or mlm relationship and you want to offer this representation but don’t want to feel pressured to make them romantic just because of that? Why even is love itself seen as such an important thing, like we’re inhuman robots if we don’t love someone in any way? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(Like I said, once you start questioning this stuff, you can’t stop. That was basically my raw thought process while I was writing that paragraph, and that last one about the wlw/mlm relationships is my current struggle with my original characters).

Sapphic

So, tying in a sapphic draw with being aroace, I once again urge you to look up oriented aroaces, along with angled and electio. I recommend starting here and here. Basically, what we feel isn’t romantic or sexual, and it might not be just platonic, but it’s something. It’s something important enough that we feel like it’s a key part of our identity because it shapes how we interact with people and it might make us feel separate enough from aroaces or aspec people that we start to question ourselves and where we belong. Going back to an aro who might crave or be okay with a romantic relationship or an ace who might be into sex, they might be an oriented aroace who wants this partnership with someone they love or wants sexual experiences with only those who would fall under her sapphic attraction umbrella. In the case of your character, how does her sapphicness interact with her aroaceness? How does her attraction to women or woman-aligned people differ from her attraction to those who aren’t included in the sapphic umbrella? (Look up non-binary sapphics, for example). Does she feel like she has to call herself sapphic/a romantic-oriented term and leave herself open to potential relationships because she doesn’t want to be alone, or does she genuinely feel that attraction? Once you add in the aroace dimensions, it changes the gay/bi/pan/etc. dimension to something that can’t just be defined as “attracted to this gender” and it’s something you have to think about to know how your character would interact with different people in different circumstances.

Good luck with your character! Don’t hesitate to ask if you need any more help 😊

[petrichoravellichor]

Tabula Rasa

Prompt: Every emotion a human feels becomes written on their body. One day someone is found with blank skin.

Pairing: Dean Winchester/Castiel

Rating: General audiences

*****

tabula rasa (noun): the mind in its hypothetical primary blank or empty state before receiving outside impressions

*****

In all his years practicing medicine, Dean had never seen a case quite like this. The dark-haired man lying in the hospital bed was watching him with wary blue eyes that Dean could feel scrutinizing the Words on his face. Empathy. Compassion. Those two, the former under Dean's right eye and the latter prominent along his left jawline, were among his most-complimented features, with many telling him how lucky he was to have such positive emotions in such a prominent place on his body. Dean knew perfectly well that lucky was the operative word: he'd met more than one person whose face bore marks of Fear or Anger or Shame. There were countless theories about why the Words appeared where they did, and while the general consensus was that the larger the Word, the more frequent the emotion, no one had yet proven any correlation between a Word and its location on someone's body. They were just things that everyone had, and they could appear anywhere.

Except, it seemed, on the blue-eyed man in front of him.

He'd been found the previous night, lying unconscious on the side of the road. Between his arrival at the hospital and the time he'd opened his eyes ten minutes ago, the staff had been stunned to discover that his skin was entirely blank: there wasn't a single Word anywhere on his body. He was a mystery, an anomaly. Or, Dean supposed, a miracle, although he instantly chided himself for the thought.

He cleared his throat. "Hey there. My name is Dr. Winchester, and I'm going to be taking care of you from here on out."

The man continued to watch him in silence.

Huh. Okay, tough customer. Dean gave the man a warm smile and gestured at the empty chair by the bed. "Mind if I sit?"

The man's eyes flickered over to the chair and back to Dean, and after a moment, he tilted his head toward the chair.

Dean took a single step forward and, when the man made no sign of objection, walked over and sat down. "There, that's better. So, you got a name?"

Slowly, the man nodded.

Note to self: be more specific. Dean tried again. "What's your name?"

The man was silent, his expression serious as though he was trying to read Dean's thoughts. Then, just when Dean thought he wouldn't get an answer, the man spoke: "Castiel."

Dean smiled. Now we're talking. Literally. He held out his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Castiel."

Castiel stared at Dean's hand for several seconds, and Dean was about to lower it, thinking that perhaps Castiel had an aversion to touch, when a flicker on the man's cheek caught his attention. 

Dean sucked in a breath. The Word was small and faint, but it was there.

Trust.

Slowly, carefully, Castiel reached up and took Dean's hand.

*****

UPDATE: Check out the absolutely GORGEOUS art that @midnightsilver made for this!!! 😍😭💙

[diminuel]

I wasn’t all that fond of 15x10 while I watched it yesterday. I loved the premise and Garth, but I think it was just a bit too over the top for me. The placement of this episode within the greater context of it being the final episode and following the rather gloomy previous episode just made it feel a bit off. That aside, I just didn’t enjoy watching it all that much even though I could appreciate what we were given.

But I’m giving it another rewatch and another chance! I’d love to hear your thoughts too, whether you agree or disagree with my reactions. :D

It takes hardly any time for us to notice something completely amiss and they don’t even hide it: a classical piece of music accompanying a bloody fight between two monsters. Everyone is going to notice that this isn’t quite right, which then guides over into the next thought: the editing makes or breaks a scene. I think that’s the overall theme I took away from this episode. Metatron said that God posted the first draft and we’ve seen both Becky and Metatron edit God’s writing. The first conclusion we could draw is that God is not “editing” Sam and Dean’s story. But actually that doesn’t make a lot of sense because he couldn’t see Sam and Dean before either and they were fine. It’s maybe that he over-edits it. He throws problems in their ways that are... well, kind of what Becky wanted; the everday issues. Them dealing with laundry all day. This is the stuff we write, ad absurdum. And with monsters.

So the theory I’m going with right now is that Chuck is editing, just differently than before.

One preliminary thought regarding Garth: Were there no consequences to the Grace he had swallowed during AU Michael’s weird monster plan? What happened to that monster plan in general? Michael seems to be very bad at stragegizing.......

Dean’ shopping: The shop is called Berens’ quick trip. Berens is always sending us on a trip, though I think this one was Dabb’s fever dream. *lol* Lots of music for what is basically just showing Dean shopping. We see the guy giving Dean a ticket through the window but Dean’s oblivious, too focused on shopping. (Two six packs of beer. This might either show Dean indulging or Dean stocking up for Cas, not that Cas wants beer usually.) 

Dean knows the store attendant by name, so I guess this is a place he goes to often, though I doubt it’s in Lebanon because of the high rises in the background? 

What did Dean buy? Some beer, a magazine, some chips, something sweet he’s eating... How did that amount to over 40$? Why did he go buy that? Why not go to a proper store and buy proper food? Just beer and snacks? As someone who has to do her own shopping now this seems inefficient. (And my shopping center is in 5 minutes walking distance. *lol*) Also, I think I’ve seen people mention that the magazine is a cooking or baking magazine?

Also, here’s the first instance we have of Dean’s teeth hurting. Just stop eating the chocolate you silly man.

I have no compassion for Dean whining about getting a ticket. He’s not allowed to park there. Rules apply for you too, Mr. Winchester. I don’t like people who think they can do what they want. *thinks back to young snobby looking BMW driver who parked in the middle of a square in front of a bank and who got a ticket* *Schadenfreude* (That’s the kind of person I am. I like people who think rules don’t apply for them to be punished by the law.)

Sam’s scene in the kitchen: I assume it was Dean who had started cooking and then just walked away to get some more shopping done. This is merely based on my assumption that Sam doesn’t cook. We know that Sam sometimes does kinda stupid things like blowing on paper to make the fire go out... Touching things straight out of the oven and putting his hands on a hot pot are pretty thoughtless. And he’s clumsy apparently.

Also why the heck would he pull the pot from the stove? It wasn’t even boiling over. Just lower the temperature. Have you never been in a kitchen before, dude? And you’re not even cleaning up after yourself?

Dean and Sam discussing their issues: So Sam never trips? Both noticed right away that this was weird. Sam looks so offended. Like “I’m Sam Fucking Winchester, I don’t trip!”?

Also, did Sam say “dinner”? Is it already evening and they’ve just been hit with “normal person-itis” now? I see Sam’s watch but I can’t decipher it right. It it 5:35? What time of the year is it in canon? I was still light outside when Dean was shopping.

In the car on the way to Garth: A look, it’s dark now, which suppors the “they just randomly got hit with normal people problems. The music for this scene is also unusual. 

I’m annoyed that Cas is in heaven. Why. Why is he up there? Why does SPN always stash Cas out of the way with random stuff? It would have been nice if there had been a phone call or something with Cas checking in or just a mention that Dean was driving back from dropping Cas off at the angel gate or whatever. It takes so little, makes such an impact for me. This? Sorry. It’s just not enough for me.

Why is the car giving up the ghost? Especially in such a weird way? Isn’t Dean constantly working on the Impala? This is not normal people problems either.

At Garth’s: So Sam and Dean walked like 16km? Couldn’t they have taken public transport OR a taxi like normal people...? Or call road assistance or Garth at least? I don’t know what it’s like in the US but that seems a bit extra, even for Sam and Dean.

Garth and Bess have an old style phone in their house, which is a random remark but it’s a nice deco object.

Garth’s Twins: I don’t quite understand why Garth calls the twins Sam and Castiel. What kind of connection does Garth have to Cas? Why not Sam and Dean? If only one of the brothers, why Sam? He has more of a connection to Dean after all? I don’t get it. Dabb just liking it when people prefer Sam and Dean has to roll his eyes at it? :/

Again with the weird, out of place music when they have a look at Bess’ cousin.

Dean and Garth: The dramatic music when Dean steps into the dentist’s room. *lol* And then his disquieted “you’re very strong” when Garth forced him. I think since Garth treats werewolves who might also have an aversion to the dentist, he’d be used having to use a bit of force *lol* Besides. I really love getting insight into how monsters deal with “normal people problems” because they have them too. It’s a shame that we don’t see more of that side to monsters. We only see those monsters who mess up after all, rarely those who try to blend in. 

I might not know much about dentistry but I only had cotton stuffed into my bleeding mouth like that when I got my wisdom teeth out in an operation. Sure, I bleed a bit when I have appointment but not like that??? Just what did Garth do? Replace Dean’s teeth with werewolf teeth? *lol*

Sam and Bess: Dramatic music continues when Bess hands Sam the “cure” drink. It kind of frames the scenes as dangerous and at least it put me slightly on “confused edge” because the music made me think I couldn’t trust Garth and Bess. Sam’s struggles are kinda... over the top. I mean, we’ve seen Dean eat ghost pepper jerky and suffer, but Sam is suffering kinda ridiculously, like he’s been hit by a curse or something (i.e. still like he’s in the middle of a battle against some monster). Ew. Sam wiping his tongue on the arm he’s been sneezing and snotting into. Uff.

The tap dancing: Nice but I don’t really see the point in it >w< I guess normal people have normal funky dreams. And I guess Dean dreams of joyful things like dancing and having FOR ONCE gentle interactions with a lamp instead of always smashing them.

Talking about God and being heroes in a story: I like Garths’ approach to this topic and that he’s much more aware of story structures than the Winchesters seem to be. Why does Dean need a colonoscopy? (Angsty thought: does he have cancer...? Can werewolves smell it? Is that how it’s gonna end? Normal people problem killing Dean? Nope.)

Scene with the cousin: Poor Sam, he looks so upset when his “gentle request and puppy eyes” approach didn’t work. Though I like that it’s Bess who gets the guy to talk (like it’s Garth who gets the job done later on). I really like that monsters have normal people problems too. And it seems like the Winchesters are still very surprised about that.

Sam and Dean “job”: I think they’re being idiots here. Not only do they lack any evidence that the monsters who watch those fights are harming people, so they just kill them because they’re monsters? Also, it seems very unwise for two people alone to take on how many monsters?? No damn research done at all. And on top of that it seems really unwise to go on a case when they don’t know what else “normal people problems” entails while hunting. At least Sam might have been alarmed due to his sudden clumsiness... Just, stupid move on the Winchesters’ part. 

Side note: Sam doesn’t seem to be comfortable saying anything at all. He still seems to be shocked by the werewolf’s diss.

Dean continues to be kinda dumb and I don’t exactly get why. They don’t know what they’re walking into, so they definitely need to be prepared and I can think of several examples where he was prepared for anything. And now that he can’t be sure of his “luck” he’s not gonna think twice about it? And him munching his grilled cheese, talking with his mouth full and “playing” with the gun wasn’t super endearing to me. Sorry, I know many found it cute *lol* And who vomits that loudly...? I mean... ew.

I liked that Dean tried to bluff his way out of the situation and maybe it would have worked in another situation... 

Dean and Sam in cages: It makes no sense that not being able to pick locks is part of normal people problems because I’m sure they learnt how to pick locks over the years. So this, and their inability to fight later on (another thing they’ve learnt) just makes it clear that Chuck didn’t just remove them from “hero” status, but took away more than just their special skills.

Dean’s entire heartfelt speech doesn’t work either, neither on Sam or Dean, nor on the audience both because of how it’s filmed (no particular clear shot of Dean’s face and Sam constantly looking uncomfortable) and the variation of Dean’s theme.

What’s with Dean’s throat? I don’t understand what he said.

Garth saves the day: Dean’s awed “you are so strong” is cute! Why has he never been in awe of Cas’ strenght? Cas lifted a 1t anvil once and Dean didn’t even look at him amorously for it. 

Man, there are a couple things I don’t understand here! Wish I had subtitles because I’ll probably only get what “we’re gotta get out of here blblblbl monstersquad” or “the monster squad bbbüb the good guys” means.

I think they might still be able to fight but whatever “hero” bonus they had was deleted and now it IS almost impossible to just knock out a monster. They did have more trouble in earlier seasons before they could just easily stick an angelblade into every monster and not even break much of a sweat. But the whole fight sequence is just a little bit too ridiculous for me...

Back at Garth’s home: The whole “this Cas keeps looking at me weird” scene is my highlight. I wonder if now that Dean and Cas are no longer locked into their defined roles (though I’m not sure if Chuck has written them with a specific dynamic, since he never seems to make use of Cas) Dean will notice more about Cas too ;D Though of course Dean does notice the way Cas looks at him (”the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid” as a classic example). But still, maybe something to think about. Since a story does come with particular characters dynamics between heros and their supporting characters.

Dean saying that he could be an awesome dancer if he wanted to be is nice. The only thing he lacks is a partner to dance with. Though... He doesn’t lack a partner since he has Cas back now. He just needs to make the first move ;3

Baby clearly doesn’t want to go to Alaska. *lol*

Okay, that was a long post again, not structured at all, not edited, and it still took me multiple days to rewatch and type this up! Haha

[webcricket]

Winter’s Eye

Pairing: AU!CastielXReader Word Count: 1071 (Ch. III) Summary: Season 13 canon tells you how AU!Castiel’s story ends, this is how it begins. The deranged and damaged iteration of Castiel we met in the apocalypse universe - an obedient soldier to Michael’s cause barely in control of his vessel’s frayed and erratically firing nerves whose inherent kindness toward humankind appeared entirely obliterated - wasn’t always an unfeeling angelic weapon of interrogation. Once, he sympathized with the plight of humans; one, he loved. A/N: Multi-chapter origin and love story. No happy ending here, folks; just a bittersweet illustration of an angel’s devotion and the sacrificial ends he pursues to protect the object of his affection. New chapters post on Mondays.

Series Masterlist

III.

God’s army.

The sinister timbre of his words seem to reverberate off the lofted ceiling, concussing you not once, but rattling the very foundations of your soul in their implication.

This scourge of humanity is suspended so near, his fist yet attached to the blanket slipped from a grasp no longer possessing the power of gratitude, you readily perceive your unfolding terror – mouth aghast - reflected in his lustrous blue gaze.

An involuntary gasp of terror jams at your vocal chords where it combats briefly with, and concedes to, a growing need for oxygen; reduced to a gurgling, white-eyed, and flail-limbed human helix of fear, you recoil, springing backward over the chair cushion, hurtling over it and putting the plush - albeit sturdily built - piece of furniture between you and the source of your panic. Reason tells you even a fine example of upholstery such as this will not impede the will of heavenly wrath. You snatch sideways at the fire poker and clutch it to your chest; it, too, fails to reassure you.

Excepting the steady lock of his stare following your ineffectual retreat, Castiel remains absolutely still.

His immobility fortifies your nerves enough to render you able to vocalize your distress. “An angel!” you hiss, peering over the chair and aiming the pointy end of the brass instrument at those indomitably fixed blues. “You’re an angel!”

The accusation laden in your naming of him – angel, and in a voice sharpened by vitriol lumping him together with his kin, as if all angels were evil incarnate – wounds him more than the threat of the poker which, not being an instrument of celestial forging, you both know is useless against a host of heaven.

“Yes-” He averts his eyes, would blush in shame if a sense of humiliation flourished naturally amid angels – “I’m an angel.” He knows no apology suitable to make amends for what he is; given your aversion, he doesn’t suppose it much matters to you the distinction of who.

Emboldened by his avoidance, unable to think of any possible cause for an angel showing compassion to a human in an apocalypse of Heaven’s doing, let alone saving her life, you snap, “What do you want?”

Although instinct appeals to him to peer into your features, to seek whatever signs might exist there of fear giving way to consolation, he studies the stove in lieu of again looking at you. “Nothing.” Directing his answer to the dwindling fire within, he discerns cold creeping inward from the corners of the cabin as well as your furiously increased trembling not from fear, but from the menace of frosty air to a body so lately recovered from the brink of freezing.

“Nothing?” Derisive venom poisons your retort. “Nothing … right,” you snort. “I suppose you rescued me out of the goodness of your heart.”

It’s near enough the agonizing truth for him to vanquish his contemplation of the dying flames in favor of your face; pity, guilt, kindness – any of these sentiments would suffice to justify his saving you and would be easier to admit than the love for humanity that got him ostracized from the only home he’d ever known; all, indeed, out of the goodness of his heart and look at where that got him.

Defensive, he eschews directly corroborating what was obviously meant, on your part, as a mockery of motive in order to determine your capacity to accept the prospect of its truth. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“It’s the freakin’ end of days for humanity and angels are our executioners, what do you think I’m inclined believe?” Your eyes manage a mordant roll around their sockets without tearing away from careful watch of him. The only good angel you’ve ever come across is a dead angel; as far as you’re concerned goodness and life are mutually exclusive conditions when it comes to Heaven’s kind.

A flicker of divine fury alters his stoical regard at your affront. For a split second you swear you see the blackened shape of a massive pair of de-feathered wings shadow the wall behind a puffed posture of injured pride. You get the distinct impression you touched a particular nerve, although you have no idea what it means beyond being the reason for your recent salvation.

He modulates his tone with a calmness the impassioned intensity of his countenance betrays. “I did not save your soul from the icy grip of death in order to then turn around and orchestrate your demise.” In fact, he did not plan very far – at all, actually – beyond the bit about saving you.

You have to admit when he puts it like that, the logic is pretty sound. You don’t, however, have to admit it aloud. You do straighten up from your crouch and try, unsuccessfully, to shake the stiffness of cold from your limbs. “What are you then, some kind of guardian angel?”

The fire flings its final flame upward and the room dims in the unsteady illumination of smoldering embers that endures in its wake; it wants wood to produce the warmth you need, and your exasperating want of an explanation prevents him from getting it.

He sighs. “There’s no such thing as guardian angels. They’re a myth perpetuated by negligent parents to explain the luck of survival of their children when it was they, themselves, who should have been watching more carefully.”

“Then you can understand my skepticism here.” You cast him an archly challenging look; when he catches it, you eye the door askance, assaying him in silent regard for the answer as to whether or not you can leave any time you wish.

“You’re not my prisoner.” Turning his back on you – you, standing there all shivering mortal bravado in damp clothes, poker in hand, unable to hold it steady, yet holding your own verbally in a sparring match of sass against an angel of the Lord – he marches for the door. Hand on the knob, he glances pointedly back at you over his shoulder as he retches it open and a gale, alive as it speckles the room in a glitter of snow, rushes inward.

You offer a shallow nod to indicate your understanding: It’s the blizzard that threatens; the blizzard that keeps you here, willing or no.

Satisfied of your staying put, at least until the storm passes, he plunges into the blustery night in search of timber.

Next Chapter: IV

[honey-bri-books]

Halloween 2019: CasDeanSam

Fluff. Random little SPN fan fic. Location: The Bunker (again). Just really love that set. ***If they lose that place in Season 15, I’ll cry for weeks. It would be like when Mxxxxx’s office was set on fire in the X-xxxxs**** 

SAM: Seriously, Dean. NO! Sam has his feet propped up on the table. Dean has a Red Hood mask on, and a pillow case in his hand (and a knife up his sleeve, and a gun in his left pant leg, just in case). I can’t believe he really thinks we’re going to pass for high school students, trick or treating. It was like that episode of Friends where Joey thought he could audition for the role of a teenager. 

DEAN: C’mon Man. Halloween!!! You promised, last year...

SAM: No, you told me/didn’t ask me about what I wanted, as far as celebrating tonight, and I kept saying the same thing over and over....NO!!! Sam has his lap top open. Trying to find a case that involved a real monster, not some drunk loser in a mask with a rubber knife. Dean keeps pressing, but Sam keeps shaking his head ‘No.’ 

There is a whiny, rusting, creaking noise from above (Gotta get that thing greased, Dean thinks to himself). Castiel enters the bunker. He’s covered in blood. Dean and Sam start. 

SAM: Cas! What the hell happened!? Are you okay?!

DEAN: Did you get the beer? Both Sam and Castiel look at Dean in exasperation. Castiel makes his way downstairs and Sam immediately goes to him, reaching out a hand to help support him, not knowing how badly Castiel’s hurt. Dean of course, keeping his distance, unsure. Castiel touches Sam’s arm lightly and goes to the table. He pulls out a chair and plops down.

CASTIEL: No, Dean. I didn’t. I got side-tracked....by zombies. Again. Though, I really think from a technical standpoint, they ought to be called...

DEAN: Yeah, whatever. So, are you alright? (There’s genuine concern in his voice now). He and Sam sit down again, figuring there was nothing that they could really do for Cas when he was beat down, like this. His vessel would re-charge and clean itself off, overnight. You’re a mess.

CASTIEL: Thank you Dean. He closes his eyes. It was closer to home, this time. Even with the wardings, I worry about...

DEAN: Whatever, we’ve been over this. Sam’s rigged it so that no one gets near the place without us knowing. Castiel looks up at Dean, confused. 

CASTIEL: Forgive me for doubting either of you, but you both seemed surprised by my appearance when I entered, just now. Like you weren’t expecting me. Is it even working the way it should? How was I able to enter the bunker without either of you being alerted? I’m not as powerful as I used to be, but wouldn’t an angel raise some sort of alarm?

DEAN: That’s different. Your face is scanned into the system, or some crap like that. You can exit and enter whenever you want, like Sam and Me. Sam tries clearing his throat. Castiel turns to look at him, now.

CASTIEL: My face is scanned in? Sam blushes.

SAM: Uh, yeah. So, you know how there have been multiple attacks on the bunker by demons, lately? Castiel leans back in his seat and folds his arms. Well, er...we decided that it might be better if we acted like the warding doesn’t even exist, since it keeps failing on us randomly. Cas tilts his head. So, we set up a security system where those who want access...

DEAN: We scanned your face after you got blasted on that ghost hunt last week. You know, after you had passed out. By the way (to Sam) I can’t believe you managed to shoot Cas, again..The ghost you were aiming for was miles away from him.Sam glares at his brother. Cas sits up

CASTIEL: What?! Why didn't you just ask me?

SAM: We wanted to....I wanted to. But you know you still have an aversion to certain electronic devices. It was easier just to...

CASTIEL: Sam! Seriously? I thought you and I were agreed that....

Castiel is cut off by a flash of red lights, and the sound of an alarm going off. The back-up lights turn on and the screens light up, on the security monitors. Sam opens up his lap top again, and clicks on an icon that’s blinking. It opens up to show the front entrance of the bunker, from the outside. There are three darkly cloaked objects, with distorted faces approaching the door. One appears to be holding a staff, of sorts. 

DEAN: What is it?

SAM: I don’t know. They almost look like those things we wiped out in Michigan, last month. He reaches under the table, un-latches one of the spare guns, and moves towards the stairs. Castiel wields his angel blade and Dean slips his demon knife out of his sleeve, like Cas taught him to. The three move up the stairs quickly. They brace themselves, look at each other knowingly and Dean opens the door.

DEAN: Freeze Freaks!...Wha.. Three painted children’s faces look up at him calmly. They’re wearing Walgreen’s-bought costumes and all dressed like Darth Maul. One has a staff and a pumpkin trick-or-treat basket. The other two have giant pillow cases. 

Kid #1: Hey Cool! You’re the Red Hood! Awesome! And you’re Constantine! And you’re...(considering Sam) the Brawny Man! But you’re wearing the wrong color. He wears a RED plaid shirt, not blue! Sam hurries to put his gun behind his back.

SAM: Um, what? He and Castiel look at each other.

Kids: Trick or Treat! They hold out their basket and bags, eagerly. Dean shakes his head. 

DEAN: Nope, er um. He-he...Uh, We don’t exactly have...

CASTIEL: Wait here, please. He quickly disappears down the stairs and into the kitchen. The kids lower their arms and look just as confused as Dean and Sam. Dean lowers the knife and tries to hide it. 

Kid #2: Hey! Why don’t you keep your candy by the door, like all the other houses do? Sam runs a hand through his hair. 

SAM: Well, actually...we weren’t participating with Halloween this year...In fact, I remember putting up a sign down the drive.. Castiel arrives back at the top of the stairs with a bag from the local market. Dean raises an eyebrow at him. The children beam when they see Castiel reach inside to pull out three full-size candy bars. 

Kid # 3: WOW! The expensive stuff, too! They each accept a candy bar and say thank you, in unison. Dean stares at Cas with a little admiration, but also questioningly. Of the three of them to be prepared for this sort of scenario...Cas looks up at him, sadly. ‘Jack’ he mouths. Dean feels a pit rise up in his stomach. Oh. He remembered the kid had a thing for nougat. Castiel had never failed to keep the kitchen stocked for him. Sam continues to shake his head. 

SAM: Hey, wait! The kids turn to look at him. They are half way up the stairs to the street level, so Sam has to step outside. I know I put up a sign saying we weren’t giving out candy. Why did you come to our door? One kid looks surprised.

Kid #1: The decorations.

SAM: What decorations? 

Kid #3: The DECORATIONS. Halloween stuff in your yard. We thought the sign was fake, like the bodies up there. He points to the railing. Dean, Sam, and Cas follow the kids up the stairs to see what they’re talking about. When Sam and Dean see the “decorations”, they pale. About ten zombie corpses lie scattered all over the grass and dirt road, decapitated, their heads separated from their bodies. The moon reflecting off of the splattered blood, gave the impression of light up decorations, or glitter. One kid walks over to one of the heads and picks it up...

Kid #2: You have a LOOOOOTTT of these things. Can we keep one!? I want to hang it up in my bedroom...

SAM: Hey! Get away from that thing!!!

Kid #1: Ohhhh! I get it! That sign was the TRICK part, wasn’t it? Glad we came anyway.  Dean furrows his brows and then it’s his turn to look exasperated. He faces Castiel, waiting for it...

CASTIEL: Do you remember when I said that the fight happened closer to home, this time? Well, I should have specified...

DEAN: I got it, Cas! He’s a little frustrated, but then sees that Castiel is still holding the bag full of candy bars, and he melts. Sighing, Dean pulls Cas in for a hug. For the first time, Cas doesn’t stiffen, doesn’t hesitate...he’s been through too much. Losing Jack had left him more vulnerable than Dean has ever seen him. Cas drops the bag and wraps both arms around Dean’s waist, closing his eyes. Dean kisses the top of Castiel’s head. 

They both look up and smile sadly, watching Sam chase the kid with the zombie head clutched in his hand. The kids think that Sam is just joking around with them, and are laughing with glee. A couple of adults standing next to the impala parked outside (the children’s parents) laugh too, and take out their phones to film their kids and the Brawny man. One looks at his watch and calls out to his son..

Parent: Jack! That’s not yours. Give it back so we can head to the next house!

The smile fades from Castiel’s face. The tears falling down his cheeks gleam like silver, with the light of the moon. Dean takes Cas by the shoulders and turns back towards the bunker, keeping an arm around Cas as they descend the stairs to the front door. Castiel sighs heavily and leans against Dean, for support. Dean kisses his temple.

DEAN: Happy Halloween, Castiel.

[thenightmareofyourdrems]

@darknessoverwhelms || Castiel

Castiel’s anger grew, noticing the unfazed, amused expression on the demon’s face who was wearing Jack’s body like a suit. He hated him for that alone, but the attitude and sass really weren’t helping his case, resulting in a low growl from the angel as he grabbed him by the collar ( Jack’s clothes ) and pushed him against the wall. He couldn’t help himself, the fact that it was Jack’s face staring right back at him was only making it worse, making the fact that Jack had died become not only real, but also more painful. “I don’t need you for anything. In fact, once they don’t need you anymore, I’m gonna be the one sending your ass to hell, as a friend of mine would say.” His nose was almost touching Jack’s as he glared at him. He clenched his jaw at the demon’s words, pushing him once more before he let go and stepped away, turning around. “At least, he will no longer be possessed by an abomination.”

Castiel’s ineffable hurricane of irritability was impressive. The thousands of waves of rage and aversion -if hate was a thing, they’d have crowed both hell and heaven with it-. The push alone didn’t faze him. He could attack back if he wished; he could destroy the little humans watch Cas suffering even more-. It was amazing how just by walking -existing- the reactions were so precious, though. Not a benefit he wanted to abandon just yet. “Yeah. Alright. Good luck with that.” A smirk of satisfaction spread on the demon’s face. Cas was playing truly dangerous games; games that could get him hurt, killed. Funny really that he was so determined  HE was the one to have the upper hand. To be in charge, in  CONTROL. “Another  dead  friend, I presume.” A shrug. “Did you finish? Because we have to save the world, remember? And you are  REALLY  slowing us down.”

[arodrwho]

mmmmmmmmm a list of low-empathy and/or autistic-coded and/or touch-averse characters who at some point begin expressing caring and/or affection in slightly more neurotypical-seeming ways, to the delight of fandom-in-general (which proceeds to churn out dozens on dozens of essays & quickposts abt adorablesweet character development & how they’re learning to care abt ppl/be kind/express empathy/be human):

dr who (all dr whos, but most especially the 12th)

caleb widogast

taako adventurezone (honestly he doesn’t even rly change at any point & this still happens)

mick rory

sherlock holmes

spencer reid tbh

temperance brennan tbH

it’s been ages since i watched spn but like. castiel iirc

i haven’t seen a lot of star trek: tng but uhhhh from what i have seen. data.

others probably but fuck if i can remember them

to conclude: fandom hates me specifically & wants me specifically to suffer

(jokes aside though @fandom just say u hate nd ppl & leave already)

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Asterism of an F-Series Ford Pick Up

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/tSsl7eU by disabled_dean When you've been to hell, desire is isolating and ugly. Or: Cas drives his truck for a case and Dean is exceptionally horny about it   “Once on a hunt when he was a teenager, Dean had been caught too close to an explosive when it had gone off. There had been the moment when the projectile hit, and the moment when it had detonated. And just before it had, there had also been a moment when he had believed that maybe it wouldn’t. He had thought about that moment for years, over and over again, until something else had taken its place. And the way that that moment was quiet, the way it was still- that is how this feels. To lie beside Cas in the bed of his truck, their shoulders barely touching.” Words: 727, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Case Fic, summertime, PTSD, Touch-Averse Dean Winchester, Touch-Starved Dean Winchester, Demisexual Dean Winchester, Cas drives his truck for a case and Dean is exceptionally horny about it, Though maybe not in the way that you'd expect, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Dean struggles with emotional intimacy, Sex Dreams, Nightmares, mild body horror, Dean Winchester Has PTSD, Dean Winchester Has Flashbacks of Hell, Dean Winchester Has Trauma From Hell, The Truck is a Metaphor, Only one Truck Bed, Star Gazing, Alternate Angel Lore (Supernatural), Mini exploration of how Cas' faith has changed since his fall thrown in as a treat, Ambiguously set during s12 read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/tSsl7eU