#totheoneswhostayupallnight

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

Sometimes I forget that I have no real friends and go on my phone expecting something; I don’t even know what, maybe them texting me first for once? Someone actually caring? Someone being interested in me or my life at least a little?

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

I feel so out of place

and I don’t really know who I am

and half the time I don’t know how I feel until I feel like I might burst because of what I’m feeling

and I’m so tired

and I wish I never existed

and I wish I could start my life all over again

and I wish I could do everything I want to in this lifetime

and I wish I knew what I want for my future

but I also kinda wish I never existed to begin with.

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

Maybe the reason for why I’m so miserable is that I should’ve died a couple years ago..

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

I just know that when I wake up and feel really happy, someone or something will ruin this happiness within a couple seconds; my day will end horribly. There are no happy days for me. That’s just my life.

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

Will you love me when I’m dead?

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

Feeling like everyone either hates or dislikes you is a different kind of pain..

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

But really I guess I’m just a sad pathetic existence on this planet

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

Sometimes I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole; I feel like that’d be a great way to go

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

Funfunfun times..

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

Whatever, man. What fvcking ever.

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

I feel empty, but not in the I’m so depressed empty type of way but rather the I feel emptily melancholic. No emotion, just emptiness that can’t be filled with anything.

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

Live or die; life or death; Should I kill myself or make myself a coffee?

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

You hate me? You hate me. I hate me too.

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

I’m supposed to feel better so why am I not feeling any better at all?

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

I knew it; happy days are a myth. A complete day filled only with happiness. They don’t exist.

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

I wish I was normal; I wish I felt like everyone else; I wish I felt my emotions to a normal amount and not like this, like they squash me beneath them