#totally funky kitchen stuff

[kcrossvine-art]

Heya folks n friends! Today on our LotR cooking series, we're going to be making something inspired by Mrs. Maggot, wife of Farmer Maggot. Originally we were going to do a cream of mushroom soup, but the idea of adding meat as a cheeky lil joke on their last names was too good to pass up. In my mind meat goes better with thin soups than creamy ones.

And thus Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew was born.

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew?” YOU MIGHT ASKFor the stew portion itself we're going to be using a hearty base, aiming for a layering of flavors. If you feel comfortable making a roux, feel free to do so, but I did not due to energy levels and thus the flour in this recipe is only used for searing the meat before its added to the pot.

Cubed beef

Flour

Peanut oil

Beef stock

Dried porcini mushrooms

Carrots, chopped

Onion, diced

Garlic, crushed

Scallion, chopped

Bay leaf

Salt and pepper

Ground red pepper

Cumin

Zatarins gumbo file

For the other mushrooms, were going to cook them separate and throw them in at the end (but they'll have friends to keep them company!!).

Cremini mushrooms, sliced

Half an onion

Carrots

Garlic

Salt and pepper

Thyme

Olive oil

This took about 4 hours in total. If you have a slow cooker itd probably be easier to use that, but as is isn't too bad either. I mostly worked on commission stuff in the kitchen in-between stirring. "The best food is the one you don't have to make, the second best food is the one you don't have to think while making."

AND, “what does Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

HOT HOT HOT

Tastes like walking from the cold into the cramped but cozy bar your friend works at

Meat was so tender and juicy, melts in your mouth. Makes you cry

It wanst actually carmelization but the onions had a hint of tasting caramelized

Mushrooms- a strong umami flavor with a bit of smokeyness

Once you get that Perfect level of gumbo file, it just makes every other element stick out more

Like an energy booster for the ingredients

A spotlight on the bay leaf, and oils, and spices

. If you don't want to use beef, feel free to use vegetable stock instead and replace the cubes with strips of king oyster mushrooms. Exclude the flour but still cook them in the pan. . this isnt officially part of the recipe since im not sure itd be 'on theme', but feel free to start your rice cooker around the 3 hour mark so you can have some hot rice ready for serving as filler.

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When I was looking through food and food mentions in LotR, Mrs.Maggot just stook out to me. 'Queen amongst farmers wives' is both really sweet and a fuckin killer description. What a legend. I wanted to do something based on her and our two options were either beer, bacon or raw mushrooms. Beer while very appealing is also not something you can whip up in a day, while raw mushrooms have a chance of killing my beloved readers. I don't want to talk about me and bacons sordid past.

And so as praise to this funky farmer women, may you add this stew to your collection of potpie, lasagna, and roast recipes.

Did i mention i started my first grease fire when making this? Yeah. Don't cover any empty greased pan even if your intent is to keep water from splashing into it.

Anyway, this recipe is a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) The partner has already made me pledge to cook it again hehehe

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

2 lbs cubed beef

A little bit of flour to 'tumble' the meat in, in a bowl

Peanut oil to sear the beef, as needed

3 kilograms beef stock

28g dried porcini mushrooms

4 carrots, chopped

1 white onion, diced

4 cloves garlic, crushed

1 scallion branch, chopped

Salt and pepper to taste

Ground red pepper to taste

Cumin to taste

3 bay leafs

A pinch of Zatarins gumbo file

Ingredients… . . TWO:

1 lb cremini mushrooms

Half of a white onion, diced

1 carrot, chopped

2 cloves garlic, crushed

Salt, pepper, and thyme to taste

Olive oil as needed to pan-fry

Method:

Put the porcini mushrooms into a bowl, add enough warm water to cover. Give them roughly 20 minutes, or until softened and the waters turned color.

Cut the carrots, onion, and garlic.

Get a large pot with a lid, pour in your stock (or water and bouillon cubes). Pour in the porcinis and the mushroom water. Turn the burner to medium-high.

Add your bay leaves, carrots, onion, and garlic to the pot. Add extra salt if you'd like.

Tenderize and cut your beef into roughly 1 inch cubes.

In a small bowl, pour a handful of flour along with pepper, cumin, and ground red pepper. Mix until combined.

Lightly toss each cube of beef in the mixture, get a little coverage on each side.

Heat a frying pan to medium heat and add peanut oil. If using an electric stovetop it will take time to heat up.

Add some of your beef cubes to the pan, don't overcrowd it. Flip to check sides are a light brown with dark brown edges, its good for some pink/red to poke through.

Add beef cubes to the pot when done, careful of splashing.

Keep doing this in batches until all beef cubes are added. 

 Once the pot has reached a simmer, turn the heat down a few notches and cover.

Set a timer for 4 hours. Taste test every so often. Aim to stir the pot every 10-15 minutes.

(You can do steps 14-21 immediately or optionally wait a bit)

 Rinse and dry your cremini mushrooms.

Slice them vertically. Cut the carrots, onion, and garlic.

In a frying pan on medium-low heat, add olive oil, carrots, and onion. Keep the vegetables moving! When they start to change texture, add your cremini mushrooms.

Bring the pan up to medium heat. 

Once your mushrooms have cooked off the liquid inside, theyll start turning a deeper brown. Add the garlic. Keep! the! vegetables! Moving!

If the pan gets overcrowded, take some out and set it aside in a bowl. Smaller batches.

This process took roughly 15 minutes, but youll know its done once everything has a nice sear on it and the garlic is brown but not burnt. Add salt, pepper, and thyme to taste.

Set everything aside in a bowl.

Once the 4 hours are up the meat should be cooked all the way through and tender enough to pull apart. Strain the bay leaves out. Cut and add scallions. Add the bowl with cremini mushrooms.

Add a pinch of gumbo file to start, stir and taste test.

[pippytmi]

kacy au + a prompt from this list: "this is the first time I’m living on my own and my parents decided to spontaneously drop by in a few hours to see how I’m doing pls let me borrow some cleaning supplies and food so that my parents will believe I’m a functioning, responsible adult who totally cleans and doesn’t just have condiments and eggs in my fridge AU”

////////

“Hey! Hi, you’re—you're 8C, right?”

Kate nearly drops her bag at the sudden voice and its proximity, entirely unused to any kind of attention whatsoever. Embarrassingly, her first response is to reach for a gun that isn’t there, succeeding only in pulling out her keys as a makeshift weapon.

“Whoa,” the stranger before Kate says, raising both hands up. She looks vaguely familiar, dark eyes and curly hair and a short enough stature that Kate presumes she won’t be a real threat. “Is that a…key? No offense, but I don't think that would stab very well.” She squints up at Kate suddenly, almost like she’s trying to figure her out. “Please don't test that theory.”

Kate can only hurriedly lower said keys, feels her cheeks burn under the scrutiny. “Sorry,” she says. “I guess I’m a little jumpy.”

“It’s all good, I totally get it,” the stranger says cheerfully. “There’s not really a welcoming committee around these parts.”

“Is that why you’re here?” Kate asks slowly, cautiously on guard once more. She had first moved into this apartment two months ago, so it’s a little late for a welcome-to-the-neighborhood kind of thing.

“It could be,” the woman says, and she holds out her hand. “I’m Lucy. You might know me better as 12B, I’m the one always throwing empty bottles at the landlord’s head.”

Kate just stares back, accepting the handshake a beat later than socially acceptable. “I…didn’t know anyone did that, actually.”

“Oh it’s fine,” Lucy’s quick to reassure her. “He hasn’t found out it’s me.”

“Okay.” Kate is still very, very confused as to what Lucy of 12B (who throws water bottles at people) could possibly want. Or why she has decided to introduce herself in such a strange manner.

“Sorry to bug you," Lucy says, “but you’re kind of my last hope. I’ve been trying to find one friendly neighbor in this shithole, and so far, everyone has been shutting their doors in my face. You’re kind of on another level since you tried to shank me, but I am completely willing to forget that if you can let me borrow some stuff.”

“I didn’t try to…” Kate trails off as Lucy gazes up at her with such a hopeful expression that her resolve immediately weakens. “What kind of stuff?”

“Nothing major,” Lucy says. “Long story short, my parents decided to drop in on me, and I basically have nothing in my place. Any chance you can lend me some cleaning supplies? And maybe some groceries? I will one hundred percent pay you back. I just need them to think I’m an actual functioning human being.”

“I guess I can see what I have,” Kate says reluctantly, gripping her groceries a little tighter to her chest. “Come in, I’ll get you everything you need.”

This is probably a bad idea. Scratch that—it is definitely a bad idea, and Curtis will actually kill her for this, but Kate invites this literal stranger into her (government-assigned) home and leaves Lucy alone in order to briefly dash into her room and lock up the gun kept in the bottom of her purse.

Lucy, at the very least, stays firmly in the living room where Kate left her, though her eyes obviously wander around the room. “I like the color,” she says, gesturing to Kate’s couch. “Funky.”

Kate grimaces. “It was the only one they had,” she says of that neon-green monstrosity.

“Well, I think it’s really cool,” Lucy says. With Kate back, she seems emboldened, takes a turn about the room with a curious half-smile. “Your place seems smaller than mine. How much are you paying? Because if it’s the same as mine, I can totally get the landlord with a bottle for you.”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Kate says. “Um, I think I should have everything you need in the kitchen.” She ushers Lucy right over, gestures to the fridge and says, “You can pick whatever you want for food. I’ll get the cleaning supplies from under the sink.” Still on edge, she crouches down to retrieve everything while watching Lucy out of the corner of her eye.

If Lucy can feel Kate staring, she doesn’t show it; she happily accepts the invitation to rummage through the fridge, clanking of bottles and rustling of bags audible. Finally, Kate focuses on the task at hand, and packs the basics into a plastic bag: bleach, window cleaner, Lysol.

“Okay, this might be more unbelievable than having nothing in my house,” Lucy suddenly declares. “Do you have anything good to eat?”

Kate lifts her head. “What?”

“This is all health food and green juice, 8C,” Lucy says. Pauses. “Oh fuck. I never asked for your name.”

Honestly, Kate forgot she hadn’t, either. “It’s—”

“I really hope you’re not a serial killer,” Lucy continues, as if Kate isn’t even in the room and she is just musing aloud. “That probably should’ve been my first question. Can we start over? Here. 8C, are you a serial killer?”

Kate blinks. “No,” she says. “But I also don’t think serial killers would tell you if they were.”

“Fair enough,” Lucy says, and peculiarly enough, she doesn’t seem threatened at all by the possibility. Obviously she is not afraid to be in unfamiliar situations with unfamiliar people, and Kate wonders if she should rethink her assumption that Lucy is not a threat. “So what’s your name, then?”

“...Kate.”

“Kate,” Lucy repeats. “Hm. It’s not what I was expecting, but it fits.” With that information, she just turns around and…continues going through Kate’s fridge. “Are you single?”

Kate coughs. “W-what?”

“Single people always have those sad frozen meals, at least,” Lucy says. “I do too, normally, but I haven’t hit the grocery store in a while.” She opens the freezer and actually whoops at the sight of Marie Callender's finest. “Jackpot! I will take these off your hands.”

“And your parents will…be fine with that?” Kate decides that, overall, she is utterly confused by Lucy the neighbor from 12B. There's no other possible way to put it.

“Oh not at all, but it is what they expect,” Lucy says. “I’ll take some of your health foods too, I guess. Let them think I’m trying to stop bad habits.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear with a self-conscious laugh. “I mean, only if that’s fine with you.”

And something about that moment where Lucy becomes a little awkward—when she bashfully looks down at her feet, then looks back up at Kate from underneath her long eyelashes—it endears Kate completely. At the very least, it makes her relax, stomach twisting in itself in a tell-tale weakness for pretty girls in trouble. “Sure,” she says. “Do your parents like wine? You can take a bottle, I have a few.”

“I would never turn down wine,” Lucy says, brightening. “I don’t even care that I don’t have wine glasses. We can drink out of paper cups for all I care.”

Kate opens the liquor cabinet to make her selection: a nice red that had been a gift from her mother. (She’ll just have to email her later and say she loved it when her mother asks.) “I would offer to lend you some, but I also don’t have wine glasses,” she finds herself saying, then immediately regrets it, because Lucy obviously expects an explanation and all Kate seems to be able to do is make a fool out of herself today.

“Are you also a connoisseur of paper cups? Kate from 8C, I think we’re going to be friends,” Lucy says easily, and Kate’s lips twitch from the effort of biting back a smile.

“I actually like to drink wine out of mason jars,” Kate says. “I know it’s a little weird…”

Lucy has absolutely no qualms about smiling, and her smile lights up her whole face in a way Kate can’t look away from. “I think that’s cute,” she says, and Kate’s face burns so hot she knows that her status as this building’s number one gay disaster is 100% secured.

“Here,” Kate barely remembers to blurt out, handing off the wine bottle. “And let me get you a bag for the food too.”

After everything has been successfully squared away, Lucy is left with three large bags that will definitely require more than one trip. “Thank you,” she says. “Seriously. You’ve saved my life and I promise I will replace everything I’ve stolen today.”

“It’s no problem,” Kate says. “Do you need help taking it to your place?”

Lucy feigns a double-take, mouth falling open in an exaggerated gasp. “Already trying to invite yourself over? Wow, 8C. At least buy a girl dinner first.”

Kate’s mouth inevitably twists into that damned smile anyway. “Is that not what the frozen meals are? Technically, I did buy them.”

“Touché,” Lucy says, biting her lip. “You are…surprising.” She snags the smaller of the bags which contains the cleaning supplies, then swings it over her shoulder. “Alright, you can walk me home. But no funny business.”

“Okay,” Kate says with a laugh, taking the last two bags herself.

“But,” Lucy says as they walk outside, “you officially have a rain check.”

“For dinner?” Despite the circumstances of Kate’s arrival here—despite the looming undercover op that is about to consume her life—she feels light. Hopeful, even.

Lucy throws a wink over her shoulder. “For the funny business,” she says, all but skipping in the direction of her apartment.

Kate, meanwhile, freezes in place. Nevermind about Lucy being a threat to her life—she’s just going to be a threat to Kate's sanity.

(Which…may or may not be a bad thing. It’s to be determined, at any rate). 

[hometoursandotherstuff]

You've got to see this renovated 2001 Pink Mediterranean estate right on the banks of the Hudson River in Nyack, New York. It has 5bds, 6.5ba, & is priced at $2.750M. Now, this is a Mediterranean estate, so we expect to see cream-colored walls, wrought iron, wood beams, etc. Let's go inside.

Check it out- I did not expect this.

Ultra-Modern with a lot of Greek column action goin' on. Look at the Hudson River visible from all the way back here.

This great room is huge. B/c it's in New York, a room like this would be great for entertaining in the winter.

The dining room is so plain. The only thing it has is ceiling decor. The room would be blank if it wasn't for the wall decor, curtains, etc.

The large kitchen has sleek cabinetry that looks like office furniture. There's some funky pink stuff on the ceiling, and a rounded casual dining area.

Off to the side of the kitchen is a family room. This is nice.

The view of the great room from the mezzanine.

I had to look at this for several seconds before I realized it was the top of the stairs. I never saw a landing with more stairs.

There's a living room back here.

I can't tell if this is the main bd. It must be, it's the only bedroom photo.

The walk-in closet dressing room. This is amazing- the glass cases.

Look at this bathroom.

Vast rec room with little electric cars and a bar, but look at the disco dance floor. Cue "Stayin' Alive."

The bar isn't too big, but it's got a nice tropical vibe.

Deck overlooking the Hudson River. That must be the Mario Cuomo Bridge.

There's a pool, plus many patios and terraces. The land totals .62 acre.

Here you can see that it's on the bank of the Hudson. Look at the long pier.

[diagonal-queen]

Watermelon Cruiser

♡ pairing: Mark Twain x gn!reader

♡ synopsis: Mark flirts with everyone he lays his eyes on, but he could never quite seem to stray away from you especially. Being his best friend and confidant, you assumed it was just an act to tease you, but it begins to feel more personal than that.

♡ wc: 1.8k

♡ cw: A lot of swearing, alcohol, drinking, Mark also uses pet names like 'babe' and 'doll' because he would totally do that, reader (and Mark) is a little tipsy, Mark is a bit of a Casanova lol, mentions of sex, mentions of harassment, you and Mark make out, suggestive content, you and Mark share the love language of arguing.

note: Mark fandom rise up! I love this funky sniper 🌸 I don't know how to write drunk people because I myself don't have much experience with alcohol, so apologies for errors.

It took Mark a minute to answer the door. You assumed one of two options; either he was just being lazy as he sometimes tended to do, or he had one of his 'friends' over. You almost shook your head disapprovingly at the very thought. Whether or not he had company, you were there to stay.

"Oh, it's you!" Mark flashed you a smile once he opened the door to his apartment. "How was it?"

You didn't say anything as you brushed past him and entered his familiar apartment. Mark watched you toss your coat to the ground in frustration and storm across the room.

"It sucked," you complained, flopping down onto his couch. "So many fuckin' sleazy old guys there- why the hell did you recommend the place?!"

Mark had really talked the bar up when you first had the conversation. Whilst complaining about the inability to successfully wade through the dating pool and come out the other side with a partner, Mark suggested a bar he frequented, but that you'd never been to. He said it was easy to make friends there. Well, in this case, special sexy friends. But even you had to admit that was better than nothing.

Unfortunately your experience was less than stellar. You weren't sure if you just went on a bad day or if you were simply unlucky, but as you'd hoped against you were accosted by a few drunkards who were less than polite in their invitations, insults and the like. You decided, after getting out of there in one piece, to take your frustration out on Mark. That's why you were there, having angrily made your way to his home to harass him there.

"Sorry, doll," Mark shrugged, "I guess it's 'cause I'm a regular. Next time I'll come with you."

"Nuh-uh. I'm not going back there." You insisted, shaking your head adamantly. "I'd literally rather stay here and drink with you."

"That's great to hear. You want some right now?" He offered, cocking his eyebrow. You knew that he was half-joking, but you were fed up and getting drunk with your best friend sounded pretty nice right about now.

"Sure." Mark clicked his tongue before rising to his feet and traipsing to the kitchen. Once he was there, he swung open a cupboard which emitted a shrill creak.

"Whatcha got in there?" You called out to him.

"Whiskey. And...more of it than I remembered." He answered, bluntly. You groaned loudly.

"Do you have anything less...blegh?"

"You're so hard to please, Y/N!" Mark complained. "You prefer the sweet stuff, right? I have cruisers."

"You don't drink those, do you? Why do you even have them?"

"In case you want a cruiser." He answered matter-of-factly, pulling out a small bottle of pink liquid. "I have a couple more if you need them, but this should suffice for now, hm?"

"...yeah, sure. Thanks, man." You lazily nodded before accepting the cruiser once he'd returned to you. He himself had gotten himself an entire bottle of whiskey, and you were pretty certain he'd be able to drink the whole thing in one sitting without breaking a sweat.

Mark sat down on the couch and wasted no time taking up as much of the available space as he could. You had long given up trying to shake him of his manspreading habit, so you eventually learned to get used to either sitting on top of Mark or resting your legs on him. He didn't seem to care when you did either of those things, though.

You took a sip of the watermelon vodka cruiser.

"It's room-temperature," you wrinkled your nose in disgust. In reality, the drink was fine despite the temperature, but you and Mark just loved to complain about anything whenever you had the chance.

"You're unbelievably high maintenance, babe. I could offer you the finest old wine aged in a wooden casket and you'd still find something wrong with it."

"The thing wrong with the wine is that you're giving it to me," you sighed, taking another sip. You two continued to exchange remarks as you drank together. After reaching your second cruiser (this one being lemon-lime and also room temperature), you began feeling a little cranky. Whether this was because your body temperature had risen somewhat, or because Mark was enabling your anger by exchanging gripes with you, you didn't know.

"I dunno how you do it, but I'm just done with dating. Everyone sucks and everyone's fake, and there's no point in trying." You told him eventually, your head lazily bowed.

"Awh, don't be like that. There's a good guy out there for 'ya, babe. You just have to be patient sometimes."

"I've been patient, I'm tired of being patient!" You whined, poking his arm. "I want someone now! I want someone to materialise right in front of me right now."

"...I don't think that's possible," Mark sighed, leaning back on the couch and turning his head towards you. "They gotta walk through the door first."

"...right...yeah, the door. Maybe if I just..." you turned to the door and sharpened your gaze. "If I manifest it, someone will appear at the door."

Mark watched you for a moment, before putting down his bottle and standing up. Your eyebrows furrowed as you watched him approach the door you were staring at, before he turned back to you with a smirk.

"Behold. You did it."

You chuckled. "Get back over here, dumbass." Mark obliged and threw himself back onto the couch. "You're an idiot."

"I'm your favourite idiot, baby." Mark drawled, smiling at you. "You know you love me."

"Agh. C'mere..." you reached out your arms towards him as he scooted closer towards you. Once he was sitting leg to leg with you, you grabbed his collar and pulled him in for a kiss.

You had actually kissed Mark before a couple times, either as a dare, a joke or because there were times when a makeout session with the only other person willing to do it was a lot cheaper than therapy. This was nothing new, but you hadn't been influenced by alcohol before. His lips, and his whole body felt warm.

Mark's arms wrapped around your waist as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. He tasted like alcohol and mint- it permeated through your mouth as both of your tongues met once again. You were both too out of it to consider what either of you were necessarily doing, until Mark squeezed your hand in his and you broke the kiss.

"No, Mark. I know you just wanna fuck me," you rolled your eyes, pushing him off you. "You're a good guy, but I want an actual boyfriend."

"And what makes you think I wouldn't be the best boyfriend?"

"'Cause you don't like me like that! And you're a horny piece of shit, too. You couldn't stay faithful to save your life." You waved your arm dismissively. Mark gasped.

"Absolutely none of that is true," he countered defensively. "I would be the best boyfriend you've ever had. You'd be lucky to have me."

"Yeah, right," you scoffed, before letting out a small cough. "Wait- hold on a second."

"What?"

"You just said nothing I said was true, but I said that you didn't like me," you straightened and placed your bottle down on the coffee table in front of the couch. "What's that all about, huh?"

Mark didn't say anything. He just cast his emerald eyes towards you blankly and took another sip of his whiskey. You tilted your head as you waited for him to reply, but he just stayed silent. Though the air was a little tense, you felt almost as if Mark found the whole ordeal amusing.

"Mark?"

"...yes, dear?"

"Stop! Do you actually like me or are you just fucking with me?" You stood up. "You'd better not be fucking with me or I'll actually kill you. Huck and Tom have NOTHING on me."

"Don't bring them into this! Okay, fine." He dramatically exhaled, then leaned forward. "I like you."

You weren't actually expecting him to relent so fast. Caught off guard, you blinked and placed your hand over your mouth.

"...what?!"

"Oh, so you demand that I admit that I like you and then when I do it's a bad thing? I see how it is." Mark leaned back again and folded his arms, crossing his legs sassily. You stared at him incredulously, before slowly taking a seat beside him once more.

"...you're being serious, right?"

"Yes! Aren't you?"

"If you liked me this whole time then why are you such a manwhore?!" You quizzed accusingly. "You're always out and about. If you liked me, why didn't you pursue me?"

"Because how the hell was I supposed to know you liked me back?" Mark retorted. "Y/N, baby, I don't know if you know this, but I'm not actually that receptive! I thought you weren't into me, so I decided I should try to get over it. But it hasn't worked, obviously!"

"Then why'd you keep trying?"

"Because I really wanted it to work!" Mark argued, before his eyebrows knitted together. "Wait. Why are we mad about this? Isn't this, like...a good thing?"

"...I guess, yeah," you muttered. "But if it weren't for you this could have happened way sooner."

"If it weren't for me?" His eyes widened. "Go ahead and blame me, why don't you?"

"Well it's your fault, you should have said something!"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

The two of you continued bickering for a couple minutes, hurling childish insults at one another. You were sure that somewhere in Mark's building you were disrupting somebody's evening, and they were probably thinking that you two sounded like an old married couple. Ironically, you were a freshly-formed couple, but that didn't negate the point.

You didn't argue for too long, stopping after you said something like "Fuck you!" and Mark replied something like "Fuck me yourself!" and you both paused for a minute, seemingly both equally surprised by the statement.

"...uh, well- we're both kinda drunk right now. And very emotionally volatile," Mark noted. "I can't, in good conscience, have sex with you right now."

"Oh, but when it comes to any old random you find in a bar it's all good?" You frowned. Mark irritably threw his hands up.

"It's different with you. When we bang I want it to be...I don't know, nice."

"A nice, elegant bang..." you laughed to yourself. "Good choice of words."

"Shut up. You know what I'm trying to say," Mark's cheeks were pink. He was still very much self-reassured, but somehow he also looked a little shy. You'd never seen Mark look anything less than confident before.

"Yeah, I'm just fucking with you," you said. "I appreciate it."

"...good. You should."

"Okay, screw you, then."

"Screw me?"

And there you two were, right back at it. Arguing like a freshly-formed couple.

wow. i really like writing confession oneshots huh? it should be known that when it comes to alcohol i don't know anything. i had to turn to my best friend for their expertise on drinks and so i'm giving them a creative credit here. also don't ask why i made mark like this. he's like a fifties gangster fuckboy for some reason but honestly i kinda love that for him.

[allyssl]

Beetol be upon ye >:3 @overthinkingspark-blue

lil beeb is 10.19 cm (4.01in) so the item proportions r funky

[583 worbz] cw: bugs

Raph was in her room, surrounded by his army of plushies as she fiddled with the bracelet around his left wrist. The turtles tended to somewhat coordinate whenever they wore the cloaking stuff so they were all around the same size. They wanted to make sure they were still used to the size they were ‘supposed to be’, but it was just too much some days. It was never really planned, but if someone was wearing theirs the others tried to match.

Unless someone wanted shenanigans. Then Ray put hers on for supervision if he wasn’t part of the shenanigans.

He tried not to care about it much, but... it wasn’t a small day.

At all.

The days of ignoring the feeling had finally turned into a screaming need to be bigger. It felt wrong. She wasn’t supposed to be smaller than his dad. She wasn’t supposed to need a bracelet to feel like he wasn’t falling apart. She’s the big brother, the one who is the biggest. He should be fine. She should be able to handle this.

He needs her siblings.

His phone pinged. Mikey couldn’t have had better timing with a turtle pile request if zi tried.

Rose made her way to the main room with a few blankets and plushies, his tail had begun to lightly sway behind her as he walked. The small buzz of her wings within his elytra sent a shiver up her spine. He pushed down the sea of negative thoughts and focused on the current task. She was going to hang out with his siblings whether her brain wanted to cooperate or not.   

He let out a greeting chirp as she walked into the room. The tight feeling in her chest loosened a bit when he saw that her siblings had their cloakers on. She chuckled softly as Angel tried to playfully nip at a Tello that was hissing bloody murder. Ray added his contribution of soft to the nest. She watched the dinguses for a bit before heading toward the kitchen when she got bored.

He'd just passed Leo right outside the kitchen, totally not tripping him with a well-placed tail for smacking her with a wing, when he heard a strange chime behind her. Even the little scuffle by the nest had stopped at the sound. Raph turned around as Leon started to back away from a strange green light. Ray’s antennae flicked as Lee nervously spoke. “Um... y-you guys see that too, right? This isn’t my body t-telling me I need sleep?”

Donnie had started to say something, but Rose wasn’t listening. She quickly shoved Leo away from the light when it reached for him with thin strings of light. Raph let out an alarmed chirp when a string touched his arm.

She could distantly hear when his siblings called out as her vision went a bright green. He felt like she was falling. A spike of panic went through him when she felt the familiar tingle of the cloaking spell turning off as the bracelet slipped off. The falling sensation suddenly ended as he crashed into something cold, her cloaking bracelet lightly clicked as it landed nearby.

His antennae flicked as the scent of lettuce surrounded her. Raph looked up, still somewhat dazed from everything. And immediately made eye contact with a turtle that was very much not his blue brother with a confused chitter.

That... that can’t be Leo. Where were his wings? His anything?

Wait- was she in a salad???

[sodapops0lstice]

Intro Post!

Because I've never made an actually good one...

Favs! Blinkies & Stamps! Sprite Drive!COMMS!!!! Classic Era Say hello to me!

@badlydrawndirk @badlydrawnjade @ectobio @our-fav-hs-char @alternian-life-advice @aviansaffection @arethesewordsinhomestuck @fuckyeahhomestuckladies @the-gang-makes-a-blog

⬆️I run all those ⬆️

My tags:

#soda's minifridge <- wishlist

#fizzes <- asks

#solar systems <- original posts

#neighbouring stars <- mutuals and pals

#grubpeta <- my earth c au

#cure pop <- PreCure Tag

#splatstuck <- Splatoon x Homestuck au

#jo au <- My fluff au where Joey takes care of Jade

#candy bowl for roxanne <- posts for my good chum and friend roxanne of marinealcoholic fame

#meteorites <- queued posts

#lesbian danny devito <- dog pics, block as needed

#the moon <- @dykemaxxing's very own tag for gay tomfoolery

Basic Stuff

I'm a freak by many a name. But I go by Soda, Cece, Admin, Ary, Xefros, Sol and Rezi mostly. Seriously. Any of those will do. Hell, I'll take new names aswell. Drop them name recommendations lmao

I'm 15 aswell, in Year 11. (I chose Triple Science, French and History if you wanted to know about my GCSE choices.)

I'm a lesbian and agender, which basically is me saying my gender changes for when it's funniest.

I use ALLLL the pronouns, even xenos and neos because I am badass and awesome. Literally anything goes.

I'm Scottish and Irish. Which is kinda cool, means I burn hella easy though which sucks ass.

I'm also autistic, I like to post about that.

I also also have depression and anxiety, I don't really care though because I'm balling 24/7 B)

Interests & Likes

Obvious is obvious but I'm a massssive Homestuck. That is primarily what I post/reblog. This includes Hiveswap/Hauntswitch

I also enjoy Pokémon. A lot. Like... 2200 hours on Ultra Sun alone enjoy.

Youkai Watch is also a big fav of mine. In fact, Youkai Watch 3 is one of my favourite games of all time!

I absolutely ADORE A Hat in Time! It is THE game for me. It means the world and everything to me.

Alongside AHIT, Undertale and Deltarune are some of my favs ever! (I don't cry everytime I replay UT what do you mean?)

In general, I'm a total loser for vidya. I can do a quick rundown of the gaems I like but probably won't be reblogging often

Crash Bandicoot

Kleptocats

Touhou

Gmod

Sonic

Papa's -rias

FNAF

Animal Crossing

Half Life

Persona 5

I don't often watch many series or movies. But there's a special place in my heart for Invader Zim, The Owl House, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Eddsworld and My Little Pony. I'm also super excited for the new Scott Pilgrim show :D

It's strange to say but I have a keen interest in reality shows. This means Gogglebox, Come Dine with Me, Four in a Bed, Kitchen Nightmares (both versions) and Impractical Jokers. Only the lord knows why. I think it's the autism. It's probably the autism.

I'm a fan of Pretty Cure aswell! Those girls are so beegitful <3 in those dresses... Yes I found out about it through Glitter Force but that doesn't change anything. Another anime I also love is Pop Team Epic that show irreversibly changed my sense in humour. I've been getting into MHA and Chainsaw Man aswell.

I also adore!!! Vocaloid it literally makes up 50% of my music taste. I black out and wake up with 20 new pieces of miku merch lmao

Music

I have a lot of different music interests! But my all time favourite band ever is Qbomb! I adoreeeee them to infinity. I literally don't know what my favourite Qbomb song is because they're all so good.

But! Qbomb doesn't have my fav song, that honour goes to Stacked Like Pancakes and their song SFDD. It's a really high energy ska song that I recommend highly. (You won't regret listening to it!)

Instead of just listing my spotify stats here, I'm gonna just get some images of those funky websites instead :)

Obviously this isn't completely accurate since this is from my entireeee spotify history. But it's basically all there!

[tau1tvec]

hey, maybe you have some advice..but how do you make your gameplay pictures so beautiful? The colours, your sims faces don't look awkward even if they aren't posed, the interior/setting always matches the vibe. Your game looks so so beautiful! Every time I'm playing for fun and take screenshots I feel good. But then I see all those posts on my dash and begin to feel bad about my own.. I want to make my game look magical too. You inspire me to play the game again, every one of your posts is so magical to me and also captures the beauty of gameplay itself. Sorry if this is too much/confusing

Okay, I’m gonna use this ask as an opportunity to be real with you, and anyone else who’s reading who also needs to hear this.

I know it’s common for everyone who’s asked this to be like, “oh no nonny, don’t do that, don’t compare your stuff to other ppl’s stuff, you’re fine the way you are,” and that’s all well meaning and sweet, but sadly this is the real world and society sucks. ✨

Despite how good it is to hear that what and how you do things shouldn’t matter, it doesn’t change the fact that social media doesn’t really care about that, and isn’t built around that mindset. In general, not comparing yourself or your work to others is incredibly difficult to do. Even I do it occasionally, impenetrable self-esteem isn’t a thing, it’s something that’s fragile and easily broken, sometimes without our ever even knowing until it’s too late. So I realized the best way to look at it, is to remove some of the negativity from it.

Controversial take, as a creative, comparing your work to others doesn’t always have to be a downer experience… it can be good, and enlightening even. The great thing about consuming media is that it can do so much for us, the appreciator, like bring us joy, bring us sadness, start a conversation, or stir inspiration, that last bit especially.

Lean into those inspirations, and no I don’t just mean other sims content. Rewatch your favorite old movies, replay your favorite old games, start a Pinterest board, go through some old family photos, create a Spotify playlist that transports you somewhere you’d rather be. Examine them, study them, focus on the colors, the lighting, the textures, there’s formulas in all kinds of media, even your mom’s old Polaroids, aim to create your own.

Learning is a never-ending journey. You can never learn enough about anything. There are so many tutorials on YouTube, and hell, even on here, if you feel like you’ve got somewhere you can improve, don’t be ashamed to do so, and change is good, bc the great thing about change is that you can do it again, and again, and that’s totally okay. Don’t be set in your ways when it comes to content creativity, it’s too beautiful a hobby for there to be any one way to be.

I think the one reason why I love Simblr so much over all other sims communities, is bc everyone here does things their own way, and everyone ( at least I hope ) appreciates each other for that. This adds variety to my dash, and makes it all the more enjoyable to look at. My game looks the way it does bc that’s how I see it in my head. I’m heavily influenced by Hayao Miyazaki, Guillermo del Torro, and old 90’s movies. I lean into the bright colors, I lean into the ideal big kitchen, I lean into the excessive neon lights, and I lean into the cringe dialogue, bc that’s what brings me joy, and that’s what brings me nostalgia.

The Sims itself brings me joy and nostalgia too, and that’s why first and foremost I enjoy playing it, lol, everything else… having a space online to share it with others who also enjoy playing it is just an added bonus.

Now as for the funky faces, there are mods out there that minimize the awkward grin, whether they still work idk tho.

You can also try putting a little more space between the bottom of your sim’s nose and their top lip, it might look weird in CAS, but this will help avoid a lot of the wonkiness from the over-exaggerated smiles in-game.

Learning to love sims for all their quirks, bad animations, and goofiness is also a good tip. 😆

[mooifyourecows]

Hey moo :)

Can I ask a question? You moved into your house not that long ago right? Have you done any house projects since you moved in? Or discovered any house secrets?

Most of the weird house stuff was stuff that literally drew me to want to buy it in the first place tbh

Like the photos were pleasantly honest! (Which is great considering I bought this bitch ONLINE without ever seeing it in person hahaha 🫠)

Like I can tell that whoever made this house wanted to make something original and quirky and I'm in love with it. There are so many weird angles and design choices with zero rhyme or reason. like why do those walls connect at a 30° angle like that?? Why are there beams everywhere? What shape is that room even supposed to be???

It's just.. FUN. Literally when I saw the pictures on zillow for this place, I was like "weird!" But then saved it. And then returned to it over and over again while looking at other places and eventually I just knew it was the one. Like I couldn't get it out of my mind

But like, how could I pass it up? It was less than 200k$ and 2300 square feet on 5 acres of land down a wooded lane!! J-j-j-jackpot!

There are some totally weird and funky design choices and there's a lot I WANT to do.

Some examples (ignore lazy or nonexistent decorating, i havent gotten around to doing anything yet):

There's this nasty ass wall paneling throughout like 1/3rd of the house that looks like the walls of a motor home and I HATE IT. It's ugly and stupid and I tore off one panel to see what was underneath and guess what! It's normal wall! (Ignore hot lady calendar)

Except the glue from the paneling kinda ripped off parts of it but like THEY JUST GLUED THIS SHIT ON OVER WALLPAPER?? WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? JUST REMOVE THE WALLPAPER AND PAINT, ITS SO MUCH EASIER THAN THROWING UP THIS UGLY BULLSHIT. ugh

So like yeah I wanna remove all of that, but it's gonna be a big project because there's a LOT and some of it is underneath the cabinets in the kitchen. Yikes.

Pretty much every ceiling is tall and slanted in some weird way, which makes me dread painting because how am I supposed to paint super high up like that when I only got a 7 foot ladder???

The house is 1.5 stories too, which means that there's a partial upstairs that is essentially just a little loft thing that looks out over the living room and then this small, strange room we affectionately refer to as "Travis's room" for reasons I think will soon be obvious....

We will honestly probably have to hire a contractor to come look at this upstairs area because part of the ceiling is like... collapsing? And all gross and dirty? (Kinda visible in that second photo) It's not attached to the roof so like, the outside is fine and isn't leaking or in danger of caving in but idk it's just kinda weird and I have no idea what the thought process was for this whole upstairs area. Like what is this narrow little sliver of room here? (Ignore hot wheels tracks)

And the ceiling fan next to the staircase is SO CLOSE lmao if it's on and you lean even a little bit over the railing, you're getting brained. Like in this pic I'm not reaching out, just lifting my arm to touch it (ignore dust, I don't clean and you can't make me)

The living room is really big but it's also weirdly shaped so organizing my furniture is a nightmare. Especially since there's a pellet stove (currently not working) on one wall. (ignore dirty socks, mismatched cheap lamps, messy cat tree corner behind couch, big ugly coffee table I got for free that used to be black until I sanded it down but then got bored and left it as is)

As of right now, I haven't done much to the place because wow apparently home improvement takes effort and costs money??? Go figure. And we've been pretty broke lately so I've just been collecting ideas for the time being.

I am absolutely gonna start painting this year though. My bedroom rn is just boring white so I wanna fix that. Maybe do something dark and warm like a dark brown or green or hmm something like that. The room I've been calling the "gym" (because that's where I put the treadmill) will probably get done next since it's such a blank slate and should be easy to fix up.

And I absolutely want to mess around with my office because the way it's arranged and decorated rn is lame. They painted a bunch of rooms an ugly ass flat brown color, including several closets, my office, and the spare bathroom so THATS got to go.

I want to start decorating for real, finally buy some frames for the art I've been collecting so I can hang them up on some of these tall ass walls.

I also have plans to make a catio out back and even have a bunch of wood and some of the frames constructed but I got bored and abandoned it haha 😄

Oh and I want to reeeeally start doing stuff with the outside. I want to plant trees and maybe do a garden this year, tear up the plants I don't want and replace them with ones I do, clean up the big ass plot of land that's just overgrown brush and weeds and maybe make it into an orchard? Get some fruit trees and make some cute little rows? Maybe I'll even build a fence and a pond and put flowers everywhere. You know, for the bugs 💌🐝🐛🦋🕷

Now i just need to win a million dollars so I can afford to do it all 🥲

[projecthipster]

Pulp Fiction

You've seen this on a hundred t-shirts, but why?

“Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.”

Somehow, I turned 26 without ever having seen Pulp Fiction. I guess I vaguely knew that this was some sort of violent, amoral movie that college freshmen (emphasis on the men) loved for being subversive. And committed as I was to some sort of soft-revolution folk-listening bike-riding Wes Anderson form of hipsterdom, it wasn’t that I hated the idea of Tarantino, but he was never on my radar aside from watching Inglorious Basterds on cable one night. And now that I’ve actually sat down and watched Pulp Fiction in one sitting after years of posters and memes, I have to say what I didnt fully expect to say: I get it. I think I totally get it. My persona’s not going to be uprooted by this movie, but if this was the first thing I’d seen that wasn’t, like, Michael Bay’s Transformers, I can see how it would have that impact.

A few years ago I might have filled this review with thoughts on whether violent crime in movies, perpetrated by the protagonists, was problematic. But truth be told I’m a bit tired of the vaguely neo-puritan concept that a story’s quality can be evaluated with a sort of demerit system, by going over a script with a comb of fine moralistic teeth and dropping points for every problematic aspect. I could easily do that to Pulp Fiction, and in the interest of fairness, let’s do that briefly here. Few strong female characters:  debatable, given how memorable repeat Tarantino collaborator Uma Thurman is as a nostalgic-fun-chasing gangster’s wife and washed up actress, but let’s say point off. Every time Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta, and Bruce Willis gun down people in cold blood: point off. The entire ending to Bruce Willis’ segment: several points off. Tarantino writing a speech of a white guy standing in his kitchen spouting racial slurs like Pitchfork writers spout baseless comparisons to earlier albums, and then casting himself as that white guy: many, many points off. You can decide for yourself whether you want to take points off for the foot fetish. Was that fun? Are we purified? 

I couldn’t say exactly why I’m over this neopuritanism. Maybe it’s the algorithms, censoring anything with naughty bits for the sake of greater appeal and therefore greater profit, forcing a sort of childish doublespeak. I don’t think there’s a single scene in this movie that could survive unedited on Tiktok. No one in Pulp Fiction is unalived. They die. What’s more, they fucking die. Working around that even for progressive reasons all smacks too much of more classical conservative censorship. There’s a classic interview from around the release of Kill Bill that I found before I queued up the movie. A fusty-vibed pundit does her best to take down Tarantino with accusations of corrupting youth through senseless onscreen violence. He rallies back, more convincingly, that even kids can separate movies from reality better than the moral crusaders tend to assume. Why all the violence? Because it’s so much fun, Jan!

And as I watched this apparent frat bro classic, as I was swept into the sheer style of it all, with the classic music and the funky directing and the whip-quick dialogue that swings between incredibly casual and over-the top theatrical, while I didn’t feel myself turning into a frat bro, I felt my inner Jan wither away somewhat, because, yeah, it IS fun! Pulp Fiction is two and a half hours long, and it feels both longer than that for the amount of stuff in there, and shorter than that for its headlong galloping pace. No, the gangster protagonists aren’t good people. They shouldn’t be role models. They don’t need to be. They’re lurid, florid, edgy clowns, and it’s fun to laugh at them while also being a little scared for them, because if they’re shot, then the fun ends. That was the appeal of the pulp fiction of a century past, of cheap crime novellas sold on tables outside train stations that crumbled quickly into paper dust. As in that namesake fiction, Tarantino’s characters navigate a world divided into Their People and shrieking innocent bystanders, with the ratio tilted rather more to the former than you’d expect. Their stories branch and weave together, wrapping back into a thematically cohesive nugget where it all began. Each of them is a little movie in its own right, introducing us to characters in scenarios that spiral into wild climaxes.

One of the problems here is that not every branch of the tree is created equal. We start with the bits  I’ve seen in memes for decades. Vincent and Jules, buddy hitmen, talk about burgers and track down some dudes. Jules taunts one, plays linguistic games, and recites a fictional bible verse before shooting him through the head. Vincent takes his boss’s wife, Mia, out to a fifties themed diner. Until I watched Pulp Fiction for real, it should be said, I had this impression that it was a period piece. It’s not, it turns out. It’s set in the early nineties, when it came out. It just so happens that every damn thing onscreen throws back to decades previous. The screen itself feels soaked in nostalgia. Maybe that’s part of why it feels timeless. What’s timeless when it’s created will always be timeless. What’s timely fades. Going back to the diner, for example, Vince and Mia enter a dance competition that feels right out of Grease, which yes, I know, was a period piece too. That leads to this climax involving a big adrenaline syringe.

You  see why this is all hard to summarize in a linear manner?

The chemistry of Travolta, Jackson, and Thurman is a great source of the aforementioned all-important Fun through all this. It’s a drop down to suddenly turn to Bruce Willis’ corrupt prizefighter and his character-free doe-eyed French wife, even if that segment does climax the last way you’d ever possibly expect. It mostly all wraps back together at the end, though, with a truly tense final standoff. One thing I like, a closing grace, is that all this blood and swearing and needless slur-dropping ends not in the most violent shoot out yet, but in a  calm and simple act of mercy. It’s like the end of The Catcher in the Rye, where you can see a little bit of character development start to seep in, colouring everything previous as explanatory preamble to this little bit of worthwhile change. 

There’s a touch of hinting at the role of the author as God in fiction, too. The main catalyst for this all-important change, the change that structures the whole rambling multi-threaded movie, is a coincidence that saves Jules’ life. He calls it a miracle, views it as an Act of God. That’s supposed to be Against The Rules of screenwriting. Acts of God, which within worlds of fiction are obviously Acts of the Author, show the hand of the author, and so inherently call attention to the unreality of the story. But maybe, this movie is saying, that’s sometimes ok. There’s a confidence to rapping on the fourth wall a bit. By making the audience aware of the unreality of the story– something even done as early as the title in this case, it has “fiction” right there in it– the work makes them aware of the craft inherent in creating the fiction they’re watching. You only want to do that if you’re damn sure the craft is good. Thankfully, in this case, it is. 

One of the great defining factors of Hipster Fiction, I’m finding, is an appreciation for the auteur, for a story as a product of a singular mind even when, as in the case of a movie, it’s really the product of hundreds of people working together.  That stands in contrast to fiction pushed out of homogenizing studios and record labels and publishing houses, eager to erase the most dramatic and therefore potentially polarizing flourishes of the author into a marketable mainstream. That’s why I don’t mind the quirks, even the weird ones, as much as I might. Tarantino is singular, and the weird foot shots are a signature because he’s a weird dude about that. That’s the sort of thing that would be ironed out of a focus-grouped, less auteur driven, less hipster movie aiming to satisfy everyone. 

That ending, and the touching on the author’s Godly hand, cements Jackson’s melodramatic gangster Jules as the closest thing this all has to a bit of heart. A bit of heart is nice. It’s not why we’re here, though. We’re here to watch John Travolta talk about burgers, dance the twist, and shoot people.

I give this hipster movie four dorm room posters out of five.

Project Hipster is a futile and disorganized attempt to dive into the world of things that the internet has at some point claimed "are hipster," mostly through ListChallenges search results.

This review comes from the eleventh list, The Greatest Films For Hipsters.

Stay deck.

Next up: a book you’ve probably read.

[biggestsimponhere]

Could I formally request ~building a snowman~ with Steve Harrington?

Tis I, the funky little fella who wanted to build a snowman with Steve Harrington! (Thanks again for taking a male reader request, I’ve never done this because I only really see female reader stuff. It’s totally fine if it’s GN, I’m just excited to be here 😅)

Building a snowman - Steve Harrington x reader, GN!Reader

“Stevie! Come on, it’s snowing!” You said as you jumped back onto the bed. “What?” Steve groaned. “Come on, we have to build a snowman” You said pulling him into a sitting position. “We’re both still in our pyjamas, honey” He said as you yanked the covers off of him. “I know, hurry up and change” you said throwing clothes onto the bed. You both got dressed and headed outside. “It’s cold out baby” He said wrapping his arms around you. “Steve, of course it’s cold out. It’s snowing” You said scooping some snow off the ground. Turning around you took the snow in your hand and set it right on his head.

“Really? That’s how you want to play it?” He said scooping up his own snow. “I mean kinda of” You said throwing more snow at him before running away. You were not that far away from Steve when you felt snow hit your back. “We’re meant to be making snowmen not having a snowball fight” You called back as you kneeled in the snow. “You started it” He called moving towards you. “Yeah, whatever you say” you said as you took a snowball and started rolling it around. “What part do you want to make?” He said kneeling next to you.

“I’ll make the bottom if you work on the middle” You said smiling at him. You continued to roll snow till you thought you had a big enough ball, looking over at steve and realising his middle was bigger than your bottom you continued rolling. “Steve stop rolling that” you said across the yard. “What?” He yelled back. “Steve your ball is too big” You yelled at him. “That’s what she said” He laughed as you glared at him. “I’m sorry” He said between laughs as you throw snow at him. “It wasn’t that funny, baby” You yelled.

“Are you gonna use that as the middle or do you still want that as the bottom, cause I’m pretty sure it might topple if you put that on the bottom.” He said moving over to you. “We can use it as the middle” You said picking it up and walking over to Steve’s forgotten snowball. “Do you want to make the head or do you want me to?” He said following you. “You can make it I’ll run in and get the scarf and hat” You said kissing his forehead before rushing inside. Grabbing a hat and scarf off the hook, you rushed back outside.

When you reached Steve he had already put the base together. You kneeled in front of the snowman and then leaned up to put the hat and scarf on him. “Baby can you go get twigs and rocks?” You asked turning to look at him. He nodded before running off towards the forest behind his house. He came running back a few minutes later with multiple twig and rocks. “Which ones do you like best?” He said collapsing next to you. “You know you didn’t have to run?” You said taking the sticks from him and giving the snowman some arms.

“I know I didn’t have to, but I missed you” he said leaning over and kissing your cheek. “I miss you too” You said turning and pecking his lips. He started putting the rocks on as buttons and eyes, and you stuck a smaller twig as it’s nose. “I think it looks good love. Can we go inside? It’s freezing” He said pulling you up. “Yeah we can go in now” You said grabbing his hand and pulling him back towards the house. “Let’s make hot chocolate and cuddle” He said sliding your coat off your shoulders. “Sounds good love” you said smiling at him as he left to the kitchen.

[pleasant-turtle-student]

Song Recs! Vgm Ost! (Part 1)

Have you heard of Elebits? (Eledees for all the PALs out there)

It's a cool game about capturing little light creatures because you're playing as a kid with mostly absent parents (because they spend so much time at their jobs working with the light creatures).

It has a soundtrack that I really like, that kinda comes in 2 flavors

Vibey Synth Stuff and Darker Bluesy Stuff

And I very much enjoy these two flavors, so I'll be listing some of my favorite songs (or maybe all of them) from this soundtrack (composed by Naoyuki Sato and Michiru Yamane)

As usual, songs names are linked, followed by things I like about the song.

Vibey Stuff

Story Mode Menu

Very sparse synth chords, cool distorted violin sound

Tutorial

Pretty piano, awesome breakbeat-ish drums (plus a solo), very washy compressed sound (especially the ride)

Editing mode

Cool marimba-ish sound, piano pad, kinda got a samba feel tbh

Extras menu

My favorite on the soundtrack

6/8, compressed-ass drums, cool pad on the 1 during first section

Sparse second section with interesting chords, cool as hell drum fills leading back into first section

Multiplayer mode

Kinda radio-ish at the start, quick EP flutters, mellotron-ish violin, synth in right ear

Options menu

Very soft and calming, piano w/delay in right ear, CAJON

Mission results and Final results

Love the bouncy feel in the first one, love the sleigh bells in the second, love the sub bass in both

Mom & Dad's room

Kinda between both styles. Cool horns and ambient EP. Feels kinda shiny

The silent kitchen

Plucky bass, has a background pad that seems a bit off tune but in a good way

Quiet in the living room

Very plucky EP, same pad as previous I think, the ep with a delay effect near the end reminds me of Minecraft

Shadow in the garage and My town

Intro kinda makes you think it's the other genre haha, cool organ, cool groove, cool marimba in the second one, the speed of the second one makes me think of Spain by Chick Corea

World without weight and The secret room

The synth pad makes me think of the soundtrack of the game Monolith, kinda odd chords sometimes

Totally topsy-turvy and Big to-do in town

First one is simple and calm, love the delay synth/EP near the end, second one is more energetic and groovy and has a marimba solo (kinda)

To the amusement park! and An Elebit state of mind?!

First one hits hard, cool lead synth, reminds me of DSCO by Sweet Trip, second one is more subdued + cajon again

Fancy some candy? and Puzzle panic

Rare instance where the first song is the slower one

Has my favorite chord change in it, first has weird-ass funky bassline, second has less-weird-but-still-funky bassline

A spaceship fantasy

Ambient dnb shit pretty cool

Shopping in style and My favorite hero show

Kinda evil and funky but the second one is more triumphant in the main section

Me and my little war and Me, Elebits, and fate

Zora's domain called

Cool and sparkly and then a waltzy thing

Sky, sea, and land (bosses)

Takes the melody from the trailer video

Vs the zero Elebit

Cool bass. can't figure out what it reminds me of (Black Sunshine by White Zombie? TF2?)

In the next post I'll cover the other half of the soundtrack plus any stragglers that don't fit either bill.

[homiro]

Tumblr decided that I wanted to post a picture (it showed me the post picture box lol) so here's a throwback to when I looked like an attack on titan character because I have bad scoliosis. I have since stopped using the shoulders thing for the most part because I don't have money to go to physiotherapy or visit a private orthopaedist. This is the plaster over the damage welp. I mostly use the lumbar support. The other one hurts too much and mind that I'm pretty tolerant to physical pain lol also these were bought from a specialised shop with recommendation and I cried when I saw how expensive it all us (totalled about 60 euros) and the shoulder thing pisses me off because all it does is hurt and I can't sit here and work with this stuff on because the pain will be too much. And obviously constantly taking OTC painkillers isn't a good idea, the pharmacists and even the dumbass doctor say that. To make matters worse, I react poorly to opiates welp

Because I want to 'shinzou wo sasageyo' but it's hard to do that when the 'shinzou' is pretty messed up and the money is very scarce lel but the visual of the gear was funky lol

And yes, the washing machine is in the kitchen. Let us be.

[masterofd1saster]

CJ current events 7sep23

one a day?

DENVER (KDVR) — New questions are arising from travelers after Denver International Airport announced a new security plan to address auto theft in several parking lots. Some 7 million people use the airport’s lots, which have a total of 51,000 parking spaces. DIA said 378 thefts were reported between Jan. 1 to July 31 this year.*** https://kdvr.com/news/local/denver-airport-new-security-plan-auto-theft/

That's not hard to figure out.

***

6th-grader Jaiden Rodriguez of Colorado Springs suspended for Gadsden flag - Babylon Bee parody -

+++

As usual, there's a grain of truth in this parody.

Some have noted the Gadsden flag first came under fire from the government in 2014 when a federal employee filed a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, alleging he was being subjected to a hostile workplace because a coworker was wearing a “Don’t Tread on Me” cap. Federal involvement does not end there, however. Documents leaked by an FBI whistleblower in 2022 and published by Project Veritas show the FBI has also identified the Gadsden flag as a dangerous symbol, one favored by “violent militia groups” alongside such things as the Betsy Ross flag, the Liberty Tree**** https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/restoring-america/faith-freedom-self-reliance/the-fbis-role-in-12-year-olds-suspension-over-dont-tread-on-me-patch

If you were a 12 y/o at Vanguard School, why wouldn't you put a big, honkin' Betsy Ross flag on your pack?

***

Teenaging

***A month later, 14-year-old Jevon Fraser died while riding the No. 7 train that goes past my apartment. He apparently fell off the roof.  The subway surfers, like the rioters who broke car windows and made a mess of Union Square, are largely drawn from the same cohort of directionless and bored young men. They are scared and unformed and often without male role models, and they are constantly prodded into doing, thinking, and saying idiotic things by the mobs of other young men. Everyone egging everyone else on, no one old enough or wise enough to state the obvious: this is not how you become a man. Once upon a time, these boys would have been absorbed by other things: a boxing gym; a basketball court; a church; a job; a classroom; their apartments overflowing with siblings, cousins, friends, their mother in a cramped kitchen making dinner. Young men in search of themselves had a degree of freedom to try out different groups or tribes or personalities within the relatively safe confines of their community. It was hardly free of violence or danger. But there was a way things were done. There were guardrails.  Those who don’t grow up like these young men have no idea what it’s like to live in a world stripped of its guardrails. Their lives are structured, organized. There are guardrails everywhere—rules and regulations meant to protect their children from the vagaries of city life. Or just life.*** A lot has been made of the artistic qualities of graffiti, but we weren’t in it for that. It was all about climbing somewhere dangerous to do something you shouldn’t do. Defying order. Proving we were tough and strong and worthy of a desirable mate.  Armed with paint pens and cans of spray paint, young men ran wild across the city in the nighttime hours, scrawling their pseudonyms (“Funky Fresh,” “Knave,” “Breezy”) across buildings and signs and walls, down in the tunnels, up on the rooftops of buildings. The truly brave sneaked into buildings and scaled the billboards on top of them so drivers on the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway could see their tags. I never made it off the sidewalk.*** So, for other boys, tagging was never going to be enough. Nor was shoplifting. Nor was *** You have to keep pushing. Doing dumber and dumber and more destructive and dangerous stuff. Like TikToking on the roof of a subway car going 55 over the Williamsburg Bridge.  The pushing is never going to stop, and officials wagging their fingers won’t do much good. That’s just grown-ups telling young people not to be stupid. It’s not telling them how not to be stupid—how to be grown-ups themselves. It’s not giving them a boxing gym, or church, or army, or cause, or sense of purpose.*** https://www.thefp.com/p/the-boys-who-surf-subways

***

Faking a kidnapping is probably your worst option for escaping police

Denver police arrested six people overnight Aug. 25 after a police pursuit that led to a forced stop, a fake hostage situation and a police shooting in the Cole neighborhood. Denver police on Friday released body camera footage from two police officers who responded to the scene of the forced crash that appears to show a man holding a woman hostage and threatening to kill her before an officer shot the suspect. However, Denver Police Chief Ron Thomas at a news conference said the man and the woman were known to each other and that the pair planned the hostage situation to dupe police and try to escape arrest. The incident happened about 11:20 p.m. Aug. 25 in the 3500 block of York Street, police said. Body camera footage from two officers released Friday shows shots being fired at police from inside a pickup truck as police were pursuing suspects in the truck.

In footage from the body camera worn by the officer who shot the suspect, the officer is seen pursuing the truck at a high speed as shots are fired from the truck and the officer, in a patrol SUV, bumps the truck, causing it to roll and come to stop on its side. Several officers surround the truck and yell out commands for the four people, two men and two women, inside the truck to show their hands and come out of the truck, for about 15 minutes. Then, a man, identified Friday by police as Keith Michael Mosley, 35, emerges from the truck while pretending to hold a gun to the woman’s head.***

Dummy was arrested anyway, all his brilliant plan accomplished was a GSW in his body.

***

BabylonBee

***

Tribal police arrest one group of annoying rich white people for blocking other annoying rich white people.

NIXON, Nev. (AP) — A tribal ranger’s conduct is under review after he pointed a weapon Sunday at environmental activists and plowed his patrol vehicle through their blockade on the road leading to the annual Burning Man counter-culture festival in the Nevada desert. The incident unfolded on a rural stretch of highway on the Pyramid Lake Paiute Tribe reservation in northwestern Nevada. The protest calling attention to climate change stopped traffic as attendees were headed to the Black Rock Desert north of the reservation for opening day of Burning Man. A news release from the tribe’s chairman, James J. Phoenix, described the incident as a ranger using his patrol vehicle to clear “debris” out of the roadway after climate activists refused to leave.*** https://apnews.com/article/burning-man-climate-change-protest-tribal-ranger-81b367dab63e9bacd4534082a4c27725

Never point a firearm at anyone you don't intend to shoot.

Good luck finding a lawyer to sue the Paiute Tribe.

***

Wed -

Casper has a population of about 50k

A growing homeless population has the city of Casper taking notice, with what Mayor Bruce Knell estimates to be a population of around 200 people now roaming the city’s streets and parks, causing a situation he describes as “a mess.” The Casper City Council is considering tightening its urban camping and squatting rules to make it less inviting for homeless people to take up shelter in the city, at least until the city can provide more mental health and substance abuse services for this population. “We know very well we cannot litigate our way or arrest our way out of the problem, but our police need some teeth to start dealing with the squatting,” he said. “They’re just causing so many problems.”*** One of the most glaring examples is destruction Knell said homeless people have done to the local Econo Lodge motel, which is vacant and had been previously foreclosed due to flooding.  What the homeless people squatting there did to the property would cost millions to fix and is much worse than any damage caused by water, Knell said.*** He said city staff have picked up around 500 pounds of human feces from around the downtown area.

Others occupy local parks and bike paths, while some are less visible and sleep in their cars.*** Homelessness is most often tied to deeper issues like mental health and substance abuse disorders. Often, a person will lose a lifeline provided by family or a friend and quickly fall through the cracks of society. Knell said he doesn’t view the city’s homeless shelter, Wyoming Rescue Mission, as part of the problem and believes it provides a positive service to the community. Because of the shelter, he said there’s always been at least a small contingency of homeless in Casper, but the current situation is unprecedented.  He said the problem specifically lies with the homeless who come to Casper to stay at the shelter but are either kicked out or can’t get in and then never leave the city. “There’s a certain part of the homeless population, whether substance abuse or mental illness, that is getting them to where they don’t want to conform to society’s rules,” Knell said. “When they do that they’re not allowed to go in the shelter, which means they’re just out and about in our community raising hell.”*** Many homeless have been found squatting in abandoned properties lacking running power and water. [This sentence is quaint - the paper has little experience with the reality of homelessness.] “It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen. It’s third-world country stuff happening in Casper, Wyoming,” Knell said.*** https://cowboystatedaily.com/2023/08/30/homeless-squatters-trash-casper-hotel-getting-out-of-hand-mayor-says/

***

FBI hide facts? Say it aint so!

***Up until January 2021, I worked in the U.S. Department of Justice as the senior adviser for research and statistics, and part of my job was to evaluate the FBI’s active-shooting reports. I showed the bureau that many cases were missing and that others had been misidentified. Yet, the FBI continues to report that armed citizens stopped only 14 of the 302 active-shooter incidents that it identified for the period 2014-2022. The correct rate is almost eight times higher. And if we limit the discussion to places where permit holders were allowed to carry, the rate is 11 times higher. The FBI defines active-shooter incidents as those in which an individual actively kills or attempts to kill people in a populated, public area. But it does not include shootings that are deemed related to other criminal activity, such as robbery or fighting over drug turf. Active shootings may involve just one shot being fired at just one target, even if the target isn’t hit.  To compile its list, the FBI hired academics at the Advanced Law Enforcement Rapid Response Training Center at Texas State University. Police departments don’t collect data, so the researchers had to find news stories about these incidents. It isn’t surprising that people will miss cases or occasionally misidentify them when using news stories, but the FBI was unwilling to fix its errors when I pointed them out. My organization, the Crime Prevention Research Center, has found many more missed cases and is keeping an updated list. Back in 2015, I published a list of missed cases in a criminology publication. Unfortunately, the news media unquestioningly reports the FBI numbers. After 22-year-old Elisjsha Dicken used his legally carried concealed handgun to stop what would have been a mass public shooting, a headline on an Associated Press report noted: “Rare in US for an active shooter to be stopped by bystander.” A Washington Post headline proclaimed: “Rampage in Indiana a rare instance of armed civilian ending mass shooting.” The Crime Prevention Research Center numbers tell a different story: Out of 440 active-shooter incidents from 2014 to 2022, an armed citizen stopped 157. We also found that the FBI had misidentified five cases, usually because the person who stopped the attack was incorrectly identified as a security guard. We found these cases on a budget of just a few thousand dollars. Though we found that armed citizens had stopped eight times as many cases as the FBI claims, I make no assertion that we unearthed all of these stories. It is quite possible that the news media themselves never cover many such incidents. While the FBI claims that just 4.6% of active shootings were stopped by law-abiding citizens carrying guns, the percentage that I found was 35.7%. I am more confident that we have identified a higher share of recent cases, and our figure for 2022 was even higher—41.3%.*** https://www.dailysignal.com/2023/09/05/fbi-data-on-active-shootings-is-misleading

***

Institute for Justice stories -

Josh Highlander bought 30 acres of land in Virginia at the end of a quiet residential street lined with single-family homes. He built a home there surrounded by woods. And he posted “no trespassing” signs around the perimeter of the property. Surely that was enough to secure his family’s right to privacy and seclusion on their own land, right?  Wrong, at least according to game wardens in Virginia and around the country. Ironically, they see the very things that most people think of as sources of privacy—like living on a large piece of property surrounded by nature—as an invitation to snoop on private land without a warrant.*** His wife and young son were playing basketball in the yard when the ball rolled toward the woods. As Josh’s wife went to retrieve it, she noticed among the trees a stranger dressed in full camouflage. Alarmed, she rushed inside to alert Josh. By the time he got outside, the intruder was gone, but the violation of his family’s privacy remained. For weeks afterward, his son was afraid the stranger might be lurking in the woods again and wouldn’t go outside alone. Josh soon discovered who the camouflaged prowler was. Game wardens from the Virginia Department of Wildlife Resources had sneaked onto his land to search for evidence of hunting violations. Earlier that day, game wardens had accused Josh’s brother of hunting over bait (an accusation he denies) miles away in a different county. Josh has never been cited for violating hunting regulations, but that day his family ties apparently cast suspicion on him, too.*** https://ij.org/ll/government-snoops-sneak-through-fourth-amendment-loophole

+++

ORANGE CITY, Iowa—Today, the Iowa District Court for Sioux County ruled that Orange City, Iowa’s law requiring mandatory inspections of rental properties within the city violates the Iowa Constitution. The ruling comes two years after the Institute for Justice (IJ) and a coalition of Orange City landlords and tenants filed a lawsuit challenging the ordinance.  “Today’s decision striking down Orange City’s inspection ordinance is a major win for the basic privacy rights of all renters in Orange City,” said IJ Attorney John Wrench. “You don’t lose your constitutional rights because you rent your home, instead of owning your home.”  Orange City’s ordinance permitted the city to search tenants’ homes without their consent, by obtaining an “administrative warrant,” which did not require the city to show any sort of suspicion or particularized probable cause. In Thursday’s ruling, the court held that Orange City’s mandatory inspection law violated Article 1, Section 8 of the Iowa Constitution and could not stand. *** https://ij.org/press-release/in-win-for-privacy-rights-court-strikes-down-orange-citys-mandatory-rental-inspection

+++

RALEIGH, N.C.—Late last Friday, the Supreme Court of North Carolina agreed to take up a lawsuit challenging the state’s medical monopoly law—known as a Certificate of Need (CON) law—that prevents medical providers from offering services without first obtaining government permission.*** The case started at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, in April 2020, when medical services were in short supply. With IJ’s help, Dr. Singleton filed a lawsuit challenging North Carolina’s CON law as an irrational monopoly.  For years, Dr. Singleton has wanted to provide low-cost eye surgeries in his own vision center. But North Carolina’s CON law banned him from doing so unless he obtained a certificate proving his services are “needed” in his community. There has not been a new CON available for over a decade. That’s because “need” is not based on what will save patients time or money, but on how many nearby providers already exist—providers who, under the law, get to weigh in on whether they want more competition. As a result, Dr. Singleton is forced to perform most of his surgeries at the far more expensive hospital down the street—the sole entity in his area with a certificate. During COVID-19, North Carolina briefly suspended its CON laws so that doctors could enter the market and save lives. Now, with the pandemic over, the state’s CON law is back in full force, which means that unless the state declares a “need,” doctors are banned from providing new services that could help real patients.*** https://ij.org/press-release/north-carolina-supreme-court-will-consider-challenge-to-states-anti-competitive-medical-monopoly-law

***

Who knew?

***The Drug Free America Foundation released a new report showing that states that have legalized or weakened restrictions around high-THC marijuana, either for medical or recreational use, saw 32% more marijuana-impaired driving than states that have not adopted the same policies. According to DFAF, the 18 states with less restrictive marijuana policies have seen far more cases of impaired driving of this kind, something that medical research shows can be very dangerous. “In 2017, eight states had adopted full recreational marijuana programs (Alaska, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington) and ten states had enacted higher-THC medicinal programs (Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, Minnesota, New York, Ohio, Rhode Island, and Vermont),” the report said. “Incidentally, seven of these states have since adopted full recreational programs. Adding to the concern is the fact that fatalities in the U.S. from marijuana-impaired drivers have risen dramatically between 2000.”*** https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/states-with-weaker-marijuana-laws-see-more-impaired-driving-report-says

***

Hunter Biden case

Special counsel David Weiss confirmed in a court filing on Wednesday that he plans to ask a grand jury to deliver an indictment against President Joe Biden's son Hunter Biden by the end of September. Weiss, who was appointed special counsel in the investigation of the younger Biden last month, wrote that he plans to "obtain the return" of an indictment before Sept. 29 in line with the Speedy Trial Act. Weiss did not specify which charges he would bring against the president's son but made references in the agreement to a felony gun charge and misdemeanor tax charges that had been a central part of a now-defunct plea deal between the parties.*** https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/justice/hunter-biden-investigation-david-weiss-grand-jury-month

***

Play for keeps; shoot the survivors

Gunfire erupted outside UAB Hospital early Monday as multiple gunshot victims arrived in a private vehicle seeking help. According to authorities and witnesses, a champagne-colored Chevrolet Tahoe pulled up to the hospital entrance seeking help for gunshot victims inside. That shooting is believed to have taken place following an altercation at Aria Restaurant and Lounge on in the 900 block of Fifth Avenue North. When the SUV got to UAB – about 2:17 a.m. – another vehicle pulled up and opened fire on the Tahoe. Witnesses said they heard multiple shots fired, describing the sounds as “iron pipes hitting.” The gunfire hit a UAB police vehicle and a hospital window.***

Birmingham police Officer Truman Fitzgerald at least five people were shot in the initial incident on Fifth Avenue North. Two of those victims - both females - were pronounced dead at the hospital. According the Jefferson County Coroner’s Office, a 33-year-old woman was pronounced dead at 2:30 a.m. and 24-year-old woman was pronounced dead at 2:55 a.m. Dozens of friends and family members were outside of the emergency room.***

https://www.al.com/news/2023/09/gunfire-erupts-outside-uab-hospitals-emergency-room-wounding-several.html

***

New York, New York

so,

New York City’s subway system continues to be infested with crime, which is unsurprising when the most high-profile prosecution involving the subway is targeting a man who tried to protect other passengers from a criminal. Last week, 60-year-old Laurell Reynolds was brutally beaten by a man for about two minutes while waiting for the subway in Harlem. That man has at least nine prior arrests on his record, including for two separate assaults, and yet he was free to roam New York City and beat a 60-year-old woman with her own cane. Reynolds’s daughter is upset that no one intervened to protect her during the beating, but then again those people can hardly be blamed. When Daniel Penny intervened to protect passengers from a homeless career criminal who was threatening and harassing them, pro-criminal Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg decided to try and put him in jail for up to 15 years. Bragg has tried more than once to criminalize self-defense and decriminalize brazen assaults. Of course, no passenger wants to risk that for someone they don’t know. In a surprise to absolutely no one, the indefensible prosecution of Penny made the subway system less safe, with criminals being further emboldened by New York City’s weak criminal justice system while law-abiding citizens received the message, loud and clear, that they must shut up and take it. The prosecution of Penny began in May. In June, the subway system suddenly had a “bad couple of weeks” for violent assaults.*** https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/why-would-anyone-try-to-stop-a-violent-assault-on-new-york-city-subways-now

***

Hunter news

Thanks to U.S. District Court Judge Tanya Chutkan's decision to begin Donald Trump's federal election interference case on the day before Super Tuesday, the likely Republican presidential nominee will spend the bulk of the 2024 election cycle in the middle of one, if not many, criminal trials. Now to throw a second bomb into the mix, the incumbent president (and fellow presumptive Democratic nominee) may be called to the stand to testify in the criminal trial against his own son. As you may recall, the attempt of Joe Biden's Justice Department to insulate Hunter Biden from future prosecution related to his overseas influence peddling and profiteering blew up in spectacular fashion back in July. The sweetheart deal of the century would have spared the infamous failson from criminal consequences for potential FARA violations and other charges relating to illegal lobbying for the small price of pleading guilty to two misdemeanor tax charges and a pretrial diversion program demanding gainful employment and sobriety from drugs and alcohol. It was only once Judge Maryellen Noreika forced the DOJ to fess up that the deal blew up, as she described the deal as potentially "unconstitutional," without precedent, and "not worth the paper it is printed on."*** https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/will-hunter-biden-jeopardize-his-fathers-presidency-and-demand-joe-biden-testify

+++

Weiss problem

Prodded by Judge Maryellen Norieka, Weiss has now stirred himself to claim that he may indict Hunter Biden on the gun offense by the end of the month. If he supposes that’s going to end the growing vitriol about his performance, he should suppose again. To reiterate, the statute of limitations on most federal crimes — including bribery, money laundering, and failure to register as a foreign agent — is five years. Today is September 6, 2023. Weiss, the United States attorney for Delaware, has had the Biden investigation since 2018 and has never indicted it. As of today, he has eviscerated the government’s ability to prosecute Joe Biden, Hunter Biden, or any other subject of the investigation for any crimes committed before September 6, 2018. That is to say, Weiss has ensured that the corruption evidence the House committee has homed in on — the most significant evidence because it stems from Biden’s time as vice president — cannot result in criminal charges. That includes tax crimes: They have a six-year statute of limitations, meaning Weiss has now obliterated any possible tax case based on conduct prior to September 6, 2017 — i.e., the tax years from 2014 through 2016, when Hunter took his post on the Burisma board and Joe leveraged his influence as vice president to pressure the new government in Kyiv to fire the prosecutor who was investigating Burisma.*** https://www.nationalreview.com/2023/09/a-question-for-the-very-special-counsel-david-weiss

***

did mention NYC?

The New Jersey woman charged with slashing a stranger in the face outside a Manhattan pizza shop also allegedly punched a stranger on a city sidewalk in May — and threatened Monday to add a criminal court judge to her list of victims. “I’m going to slash you in the face too if you put me in the cell for a long time,” Ola Albanni warned Judge Miriam Best during her arraignment in Manhattan Criminal Court. Albanni, 52, of Hoboken, NJ, then repeated the threat a second time, before ranting incoherently for a full minute during the hearing — leading Best to order her to be removed from court and taken for a psychiatric evaluation. Prosecutors had called for the court to set bail of at least $100,000 after Albanni allegedly slashed a 65-year-woman with a kitchen knife on the sidewalk outside 2 Bros Pizza on Eighth Avenue and West 38th Street Friday night — in an unprovoked attack that left the victim with a large gash that required six stitches to patch up. Albanni – who wore a furry black jacket and silver-sequined short shorts at the hearing – was still carrying the blade in her bag when she was arrested Sunday, and admitted to the random slashing, court papers alleged*** https://nypost.com/2023/09/04/accused-nyc-slasher-threatens-to-attack-judge

[fukounaboy]

OOH OK

So

My personal (totally unbiased /lh /j) recommendations for each album are...

SELF-ISH:

All of it. There is not a single bad song in that album. (Personally my favorites are Mr. Capgras, Cotards Solution, and The Song With Five Names. Hand Me My Shovel and 2012 are amazing too, though :3)

EVERYTHING IS A LOT:

Front Street

White Knuckle Jerk

Thermodynamic Lawyer (The original and the 2020 remaster sound WAY different from each other, so just listen to the original first and if you like it give the remaster a listen)

The First Step

Chemical Overreaction

Destroy to Enjoy (If youre willing to sit through the construction noises, that is. It's worth it, though, trust me)

THE NORMAL ALBUM:

Suburbia Overture

2econd 2ight 2eer

Laplace's Angel

Outliars and Hyppocrates

BlackBoxWarrior

Love, Me Normally

CAMP HERE AND THERE SOUNDTRACK:

Your Body, My Temple

Yes, To Err Is Human, So Don't Be One!

Venetian Blind Man

The Rhumba Of Death (It's an instrumental but trust me it's so good)

IN CASE I MAKE IT:

Cicada Days

Um, it's kind of a lot

The Main Character

Against The Kitchen Floor

Big Fat Bitchies

Willard

IN CASE I DIE:

Misanthrapologist

(Not much else to say about ICID, since it's only a live album with two cut songs in it, the other being "And If I Did, You Deserved It" :3)

Now, if you really wanna get deep into Will's stuff, might I suggest his old bands:

A Verbal Equinox

The Stereosexuals

Jamface

Strange Thick

I've listened to all the songs from A Verbal Equinox and The Stereosexuals, only a couple from Jamface, and none from Strange Thick yet, however, I do recommend you listen to -

Cut/Clap - The Stereosexuals (TW for SH mentions)

The Better To Eat You With - The Stereosexuals

Heathers Big Break - Jamface

Nüburbåtizé! - A Verbal Equinox

Bleüctipie - A Verbal Equinox (TW For s-icide mentions)

He'll Use Me For His Needle Show - A Verbal Equinox

Drugs Ain't Cheap In Poughkeepsie - A Verbal Equinox

Mr Fregoli And The Diasthesis-Stress Supermodel - Will Wood And The Tapeworms (Putting this here bc idk where else to put it- it isn't really a song? It's just Will promoting his new Spotify account, but it's really funny and there's a funky lil song bit at the beginning :D)

And uh yeah that's about it! I hope you enjoy at least a few of these if you decide to listen :3

Yo Will Wood nerds, listen up!

I just started listening to a few of his songs today, and so far I've been loving "I/me/myself", "self" & "-ish", "memento mori: the most important thing in the world" and "dr sunshine is dead"

What do you recommend?

Edit: Guys, comment and reblog, your likes are useless.

[duckymcdoorknob]

I try hcs

Haikyuu x plus size reader 🧡

Asahi: Date night cuddling in front of the fire, reading a book together, but he does most of it bc you love his deep voice, and giggle when he can’t pronounce a word, but you help him and he gives you this adorable shy awkward/embarrassed smile as a thank you and then keeps reading. He also likes to wake you up with little kisses or tickly pokes if you’re falling asleep, and if you’re just totally out he’ll just carry you to bed and tuck you in, or climb into bed with you and wrap you in his arms protectively.

Noya: If you’re not claustrophobic, he loves to just lay on top of you, claiming he’s your weighted blanket and also hot waterbottle bc boy naturally radiates heat and u get really cold sometimes. And if you are claustrophobic, he will either use your head as a pillow and curl up around you like a koala when cuddling, or he’ll sit next to your head and feed you grapes like the queen you are, & bc he’s cute like that. But don’t fall asleep when he does that bc he will absolutely draw on your face.

Tanaka: Making pizza together in the kitchen. Sure he bought it from a kit because he’s not always the best at cooking. (“HEY! I know how to make eggs! And grilled cheese! And water! I know how to cook water! Or, err, boil it! Whatever!”) He will absolutely put on some funky oldies music, stuff like the twist by chubby checker or september earth wind and fire lol. And being the goof he is, he’ll try to convince you to do the lady and the tramp thing but with hot melted cheese, but you end up bonking heads a little and he feels so bad and overdramatically comforts you and you can’t help but laugh and hug him bc really ur fine.

Kageyama: Massages. He will give you back massages, neck massages, and foot rubs. Though foot rubs will always turn into tickles lol. He’ll host a spa say and treat you like a queen, and even though he hates it, he will let you paint his nails and watch a trashy reality show with you and accidentally get super hooked on it to the point where he’s yelling at the screen and it’s hilarious (“WHAT?!?! Mori??? She picked Mori??? Really? Ugh.)

Hinata:This sweetheart will surprise you with a picnic at the park and go all out with it, making it old fashioned red checkered blanket carefully homemade food style with feeding ducks, walking around the park, and sleepy cuddly cozy tickles as you both doze off in the shade of a tree bc the sun is v nice, and he loves to cuddle and pretends to be your teddy bear and even asks you to call him that. And if you don’t, he lives up to his name and gives you tickle bites and nibbles.

Daichi: He’ll take you to see a sports game that isn’t volleyball, or he’ll take you to a play in the local park (Shakespeare in the park) or he’ll take you to a classical music concert or if you’re in music he will go to your concert ofc. Honestly his most favorite dates with you is when the two of you just sit on the couch in the living room in a blanket fort and just talk. You talk about your passions, funny things that happened recently, your feelings, everything. He loves hearing you talk and could listen to you forever.

Sugawara: He will style you up and do your makeup and embrace your natural beauty, and he’ll coordinate his outfit to match. Then he’ll take you downtown for a photoshoot and then a look at the nearby art exhibition and buy you street food and look at all the cute little touristy shops with you and buy you a bracelet or candle some little trinket. You’ll fall asleep in the car on the way back home, but he’ll wake you up with a kiss and some playful tickles and teases in your ear.

Oikawa: If you’re of legal age, mans is taking you wine tasting and cheese tasting. And if you’re not, he’ll take you to wherever you want to go and buy you one thing from each store, and then when you get home he’ll compliment you in relation to those things like how the book you picked out reminds him of how smart you are, and the jewelry you picked out reminds him or how beautiful you are, and he goes on and on until he runs out of items and you’re all blushy and flustered. Ofc then you deny everything he said which results in getting tickled until you agree with him/admit he’s right, etc. After that you’ll watch a movie you both know super well and can quote, or you watch a musical and sing it together, or play chess while listening to your favorite audiobook.

Bokuto: He will take you to the fair and spend like 48 bucks trying to win you a teddybear, and thankfully you stop him before he pulls a muscle. He screams like a girl on the mechanical bull ride but you do it more calmly and end up wounding his pride lol. He’s all pouty and being a big baby until you buy him an ice cream cone, and then another one because his clumsy ass dropped the first one xD the lovable dork xD Then you both go hole and play board games and charades, things like that, and somehow it always ends up with a tickle fight bc someone cheated or bc someone pretends to be a sore loser. And ofc mans cuddles you like a koala and gives you loud kisses all over your face and dramatically complaining about how beautiful you are and how you’re gonna kill him one of these days, and doesn’t stop until you’re blushing, giggling, and you kiss him back.

Kenma: He’ll binge watch your favorite anime with you a buy you a fan item from it like a special pin or a t-shirt or something. He’ll do a lot of body doubling with you, where you both chill in the same room and do your own thing but sometimes talk or check in. He’ll play your favorite video game with you, and if you’re sad he’ll turn on the TV and pretend that your tummy and/or feet are his controller and tickle you until you’re all smiley and giggly again. Sometimes he gets too warm and isn’t in the mood too fully cuddle but he will brush your hair until his arms fall of/get tired. He’ll brush it, play with it, braid and unbraid it until you fall asleep. And if he’s not cuddling right next to you, he’ll put a pillow between you and him and just gently hold onto your arm and gently cuddle it like a teddybear.

I hope you liked these! These are all the guys I felt confident that I know well enough to write hcs for! :D 💕 Much love!

THESE ARE AMAZING JADE THABK YOI

I AM VERY HAPPY

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Julie’s Manhattan, New York City apt. is amazing. It’s got a funky mid-century vibe, dessert-themed wallpaper, and her cat’s name in neon. She says her apt. may be groovy, but the word she uses to describe her aesthetic is “cult.”

She wanted to create a psychedelic rec room look for the living room. 

The dining area also serves as her work area and Zoom background.

The kitchen is a bright, but narrow, galley style, but it’s well-equipped with new appliances.

Looking out from the kitchen, Julie’s work space spills over with filing cabinets and book shelves.

Here’s Jimmy Jazz, her cat and his name in lights. She got the fake cakes on ebay. I still can’t believe that renters can do stuff like this in NYC apts.

Julie went pink and zebra in her bedroom. Jimmy Jazz approves of the color scheme.

The bath is totally tropical rainforest. What a cool apt.

https://www.apartmenttherapy.com/julie-klausner-apartment-tour-photos-36880040