#torpedo omg

[andrewckeeper]

LIDMF Shop “Cobra Jarl” AUDIO ON, COBARDES! Merchiquito: https://www.latostadora.com/shop/lidmfofficial/?a_aid=2022f015

[cars2-renaissance]

😮

Le gasp

I have been gifted great knowledge 🙌

Hellows, I love your art and ocs ^^

Could I mayhaps ask about Kaiten? I am greatly intrigued by the haunted torpedo boi

-cars2-renaissance sideblog

Ahhh thank you so much, my dude.

You can find all information about him and the other Lost Anchor characters here. I keep updating their profiles almost every day.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Omg they're ~~(wanted in at least 5 countries)~~ so silly I need the cheese ask with the other skellies pls

The main boys are here!

Horrorswap Sans - He scolds you for playing with food and starts eating the cheese anyway because he doesn't want to ruin it. But still, stop it!

Horrorswap Papyrus - He dramatically falls on the floor like a dying sea star, the cheese on his face. You killed him, congratulations.

Horrorfell Sans - He throws the cheese against the wall, hisses angrily, and then goes on all four to growl at the enemy. That's only when he realizes it's just cheese that he turns to you and starts to yell at you, asking if you think it's funny. Well. Yes, it is actually.

Horrorfell Papyrus - Are you proud of yourself? Throwing cheese at people who can't even walk to defend themselves. Shame on you. Shame on your cow. And shame on your face because as soon as you lower your guard, Chief slams the cheese back at you.

Outertale Sans - He dodges, mocking your terrible aim, knocks himself out against the ceiling, falls on the floor, and the cheese falls back on his face. Loser.

Outertale Papyrus - What are you? Five? He scolds you for showing a bad example to the children he's babysitting. Now go in timeout to think about what you just did. You regret nothing though.

Dancetale Sans - He ducks, does a back somersault, and shoots the cheese in the air like a pro footballer. The cheese somehow ends back in your face instead of his. Not fair.

Dancetale Papyrus - He screams, slaps the cheese on the floor, slips on the cheese, and falls on his back in an even louder scream. He then gives you an angry stare. You decide to retreat.

Dancefell Sans - He stays still :( He probably deserved this. He's a loser after all. He sits sadly on the floor with his cheese on his face and he stays there. What a drama queen, you swear.

Dancefell Papyrus - You thought it would be fun to do it while he's streaming. You didn't expect the Internet to turn this into a meme though. Poor Tango has his cheese face on every screen of the world for two whole months. He's mad at you lol.

Farmtale Sans - Uh oh. If there's something you don't want to insult, it's Sam's cows. And you just threw his baby's cheese at his face! How dare you! He starts a 10-minute speech about how hard it is to make cheese and how you're ruining his work with your pranks. You can stop chuckling honestly.

Farmtale Papyrus - He gives you a confused look, mildly panicked. Did he do something wrong? Are you angry at him? Why? He doesn't understand what's going on and he's not sure if he should laugh with you or hide or something.

Mafiatale Sans - He gives you an unamused stare, the cheese in his hand. You think you're really funny, uh? You're not going to laugh so much when he will mess with the water temperature while you're taking your shower tonight. But he will though.

Mafiatale Papyrus - Creeper keeps his natural poker face, not really caring about the cheese. He quickly discards it and returns to whatever he is doing. You're pretty sure you saw the shadow of a smile on his face but it's hard to tell, really. He's too good at being expressionless.

Mafiafell Sans - He tries to warn you, but you do it anyway. Suddenly, the leashes of the twenty dogs you were holding pulls forward, making you literally fly. The dogs all jump on Fang so they can have the cheese on his face. As for you, you're biting the dust... Quite literally.

Mafiafell Papyrus - Torpedo does the dramatic turnaround and asks silently who threw cheese behind his head. Because you have a survival instinct, you immediately points at Fang, who is sleeping peacefully at his desk. You feel bad when Torpedo starts to yell at his brother, flipping the desk over with everything on it. You decide it's maybe best to retreat because Fang is staring through your soul and you have a feeling you will pay for that.

Ink - He accidentally put his brush in the way, which opened a portal on an Undertale cheese AU where all characters are cheese. Ink is very excited and insists you two should go to try to eat Sans. You're not sure about this.

Error - He moved at the same time and now the cheese is in his eye socket. Error is rolling on the floor, screaming and glitching in agony, trying to get this thing out of there. Let's just say you better run fast and far away from him.

Disbelief Papyrus - He ducks instinctively. The cheese ends in Asgore's beard, who was just standing behind. You have a fun afternoon planned now, trying to save Asgore's beard without shaving it because the cheese is stuck in there. Delta is lecturing you while you're working.

Killer Sans - He hates cheese. He has the biggest gagging ever, throws the cheese away and runs to clean his face. He can't stand the smell, he swears he's going to grow himself a stomach to puke. You just found a mass destruction weapon randomly. Cool.

Dustale Sans - His brain completely stops working and he starts to stare at the emptiness. There's nothing in these eyes anymore. He stays there, frozen, and refuses to move before you get rid of the cheese.

[shepherds-of-haven]

Omg now i gotta ask --- what were Blade and MC gonna fight about??👀 i remember something about her losing badly at one point and him attempting to pull her off of dangerous™ missions, that it?

Yes, you've got that correct! They still may have an argument about it, it may just not unfold as dramatically as I was envisioning or be like Chase's Torpedo where it puts an implied pause on their relationship for a bit--I'm still thinking through it!

[petermorwood]

Interesting to see this post cross my dash again.

I was watching a movie late last night and, with that post's criticism of unbroken long speeches and suggestions of how to break them, here's an example of how a very famous one was done.

The movie I was watching was "Jaws", and the long speech is The Indianapolis Monologue. There are several YouTube clips, but a couple of them leap straight in at the start of the speech.

The clip below has the lead up to The Speech which, IMO, matters a lot in preparing for what follows; there's not just a Mood Whiplash - cheery drunk to OMG Whut - to make the viewers pay attention, but also what I mentioned in the other post, an entirely legitimate reason for an "As You Know" speech.

One character, Hooper, knows the significance of "USS Indianapolis" - his shocked-almost-sober reaction makes that very plain - but the other character, Brody (and the audience he represents), doesn't know and needs told.

In addition (also as mentioned in the other post) despite being a single-character monologue, the speech is "broken" by cutting away from the speaker, Quint, to reaction shots from the other characters present. Even when Quint is on-screen he isn't centre-screen, Hooper is visible in the background where his silent, apprehensive attention accompanies the story he's hearing.

*****

This can be done in words, too: inserting other actions or reactions by means of paragraph breaks is the equivalent of visual cut-aways, and serve the same functions - making a lot of words from one character into several smaller groups of words, while showing the cumulative effect of all those words on other listeners.

Even a soliloquy with no-one else listening benefits from occasional breaks describing what the speaker is doing, how their emotions show, where they are etc. It's all far better than A Wall Of Text.

The entire speech is 438 words, and Robert Shaw delivers them over 3 min 34 sec.

I've got three PDF versions of the "Jaws" screenplay, all different, and this speech varies in every one but are never what's in the movie, so I constructed mine as a transcript from several listenings, and have used paragraph breaks to try matching Shaw's delivery.

Also, as an Exercise For The Scholar (me, anyway) I've inserted and timed the cuts where Quint isn't on screen or speaking to show how short they can be.

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. Just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen-footer. You know how you know that when you’re in the water, Chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know ... was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh.

CUT TO BRODY (3 sec) then BACK TO QUINT WHO TAKES A DRINK (2 sec)

They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it’s ... kinda like old squares in a battle, like you see in a calendar, like the Battle of Waterloo, and the idea was, shark comes to the nearest man, that man he start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin’, an’ sometimes the shark go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes at you, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white and then, ah, then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in an’ they... Rip you to pieces.

CUT TO BRODY (2 sec) then BACK TO QUINT

Y’know, by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I dunno how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I dunno how many men, they averaged six an hour.

CUT TO BRODY (3 sec) AS QUINT CONTINUES OFFSCREEN

On Thursday mornin', Chief...

BACK TO QUINT

I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Bosun's mate. An’ I thought he was asleep; reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up an’ down in the water, was like a kinda top. Upended... Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist.

CUT TO BRODY (2 sec) then CUT TO HOOPER (2 sec) then BACK TO QUINT

Noon the fifth day, Mister Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us - a young pilot, a lot younger than Mister Hooper. Anyway he saw us and he come in low, and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

*****

For comparison, down below is what it looks like without any paragraph breaks, speech instruction (gravely / incredulous etc.) or screen direction (track right / dolly in / close on / match cut etc.).

(BTW, some of these effects can be used when writing prose, to good effect, but that's for another time.)

This is the Wall of Text effect, and it sometimes turns up on the internet, courtesy of people who don't know how to use Enter except when they're sending a post.

I'm not saying this is how the speech would have looked in the real shooting script, but it might. From my own screenwriting experience, actors don't like being told how to deliver their lines and directors don't like being told how to set up their shots.

There's a bit more flexibility when writing animation, but in both cases crafty writers write so that the way they want a thing done works out as the best way to do it.

Sometimes this trick even works... :->

*****

Here's the Wall Of Text:

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. Just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen-footer. You know how you know that when you’re in the water, Chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it’s kinda like old squares in a battle, like you see in a calendar, like the Battle of Waterloo, and the idea was, shark comes to the nearest man, that man he start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin’, an’ sometimes the shark go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes at you, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white and then, ah, then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in an’ they rip you to pieces. Y’know, by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I dunno how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I dunno how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin', Chief I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Bosun's mate. An’ I thought he was asleep; reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up an’ down in the water, was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mister Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us - a young pilot, a lot younger than Mister Hooper. Anyway he saw us and he come in low, and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

[clementine-thedestroyer]

None of you would know, but I’m actually a bit of a nerd when it comes to ships and tanks. Recently, I’ve been watching Brick Immortar on YouTube, and specifically it was the one on the USS Thresher that got me thinking… I would love to write some sort of WW2 or Cold War era submarine fic with Soap.

Reminiscent of the Greyhound movie, with that kind of abject horror of being hunted. Except with both parties on submarines.

Omg, I’ve been in a museum sub before and let me just say- those things are TINY! I could barely fit through the doors on the ship, I can’t imagine what it was like for service men to move through a submarine while it was actually underwater. Nightmare fuel, really. And if you’ve ever watched Greyhound, you know how scary it was when the submarine captain came over the intercom and started antagonizing them.

Maybe just Soap, maybe him and Ghost- maybe all of the 141- but imagine them just trying to stay alive and get to back to a friendly port, mean while having to contend with the fact that any moment, the enemy’s torpedos may strike home. Imagine them just trying to eat or do some maintenance, and then the enemy captain comes over the radio and starts fucking howling at them in the deranged tone of the sub captain in greyhound.

[burnhampeaches]

HI OMG i dont wanna bother but i saw in one of ur reposts that u like max/daniil? ive been having a hard time lately finding other kvyat fans (ive been fixated on him for years) and esp max/daniil fans and im like. so happy. BUT ANYWAY could i ask what appeals to you the most abt the ship?

Hi there!

The thing that appeals me to them is the way they're both intrinsically intertwined in F1, yet someone no one has ever thought of them ever being paired up together

They were both in Toro Rosso and Red Bull (not paired as teammates; you get what I mean) during the same time frame when they were both on the grid, experienced a cycle of different teammates coming and going (Alex, Carlos Jr, Pierre, Daniel), doing Red Bull PR stuff with their respective teammates together (see below), and even have been in a relationship with Kelly

They have coincidences that are tied closely with them, it intrigues me so much until I've fallen in love with the thought of what could have been such a great teammate pairing duo that we will never see in our lifetime. It sickens me that a Mad Max & The Torpedo dynamic would have been super cool, but the iron fists of Marko & Horner say otherwise

[spearxwind]

Omg I was scrolling that dragon post u rbed and was like. Wow cool dra- wait wtf is up with their wings. Why are the so...small and like paddles

Then i saw ur tags. Solidarity

YEAHHH FOR REAL. I cant get over it why do they look like that ....

In theory dragons in media look that way because it is very hard to make the membrane that attaches to the side not act weird whenever the wings are closed and it clips easily (allegedly this is what happened with old CGI and games especially!) so they put all the membrane area on the digits and make the wings look like spoons

Thats why you get the same wing issue in lots of different media: games, movies, etc.

The way bat wings work irl is that they are EXTREMELY stretchy, so when the wings are folded the membrane simply runs tightly next to their sides (and bats can fold back their massive wings to absurd degrees)

Like you look at these and go theres No Fucking Way they have that much wing

BUT THEN THEY SPREAD THEIR WINGS LIKE BAM. HUGE WINGSPAN!!!

(These are all vampire bats btw)

The reason dragon wings feel weird in media also is because they fold them like bird wings. As in, they will just fold the digits back and have the wing rest on their backs. Which is fine! But it's different anatomically and aesthetically.

For birds it actually blends into their silhouette because they are feathered and torpedo shaped, and their wings are made of individual feathers that can actually fold over each other and overlay each other (like a stack of cards!) but skin can't do that, so when you fold a bat's wings in the same way you'd fold a bird's wings you just get a messy thing with many folds like fabric. The ideal thing would be for the membrane to change with the shape of the wing when theyre folded so the dragon model has essentially two versions: open wing and closed one.

Obviously this might be pretty hard to replicate with CGI, but it doesnt have to be perfect. It's 2023. Avatar the way of water rendered real fucking water. You're telling me we cant render a proper basic shifting mesh for the base of a dragons wing?? Come the hell on fr

(The answer is they also do all of this to cut corners. Obviously. But I can dream 😔)

[sango-blep]

I got my cat Torpedo a little over a year ago and I have been DESPERATE to get a picture of her doing a blep and it FINALLY happened this morning! I’m so thrilled and had to share what may be the tiniest blep to ever blep 😍😍😍 she’s a queen and also extremely talented

_____________________

OMG i LOVE your little cow, sending many kisses!!

[thewiddershinsme]

Finished A Curse for True Love!!!

-so Castor has a thing for LaLa? Did he like her before becoming Chaos or is it something that’s grown over the centuries? I dunno, still feels like more of the Unwed Bride’s curse: she had an epic romance with a dragon shifter which ultimately torpedoed any other chance she has at love for centuries. When she is finally able to be with said dragon shifter, curse steps in again with hesitancy and *gasp* sudden tension with his brother.

-I. LOATHE. AURORA. She is the Big Bad of this series. SHE IS THE REASON THAT JACKS HAS HIS FATAL KISS. It had nothing to do with him becoming a Fate. SHE IS THE REASON HE KILLED THE FOXGIRL. There is no redemption, and she got off way too easy. I wanted retribution.

-wow that put a whole new spin on Tella/Jacks. Tella was immune not because she is his true love, but because she would never love him. That was a good twist.

-omg their first kiss was perfect. Starting so gentle and becoming passionate as Jacks realized the curse was broken. Would’ve liked a tad more reasoning on why the curse was broken (from what I understand it’s cause Jacks let himself also hope and love, and not just the girl) but that’s the soft fairytale true love magic system working

-Evangeline still has one broken heart scar left. I thought it would disappear after their kiss (cause the person Jacks had always truly wanted her to kiss was himself). However their deal is forever unresolved and it bugs me as a loose thread that could’ve been circled back to somehow

-Apollo brought about his own demise completely on his own. Fitting. And Wolfric definitely saw that coming.

-it was a good ending, if a bit abrupt (I like slow denouements personally). Evangeline and Jacks have their happily ever after (mostly?) and if feels like they went through enough to get there. There are a lot of characters I feel like just sorta disappeared with no mention on whatever happened to them (Marisol? Luc? Tiberius?) and other things I feel like may be set ups for future books (LaLa/Chaos, Knightlinger, the other Valor kids).

-I say a maybe happily ever after, cause the epilogue confirms Jacks is still “not quite human”, so does that mean he’s still a Fate and ageless? So he’ll be an almost immortal while Evangeline ages and dies? I never feel that’s a real happy ending, which is why (like with Tella and Legend) I want to know the rules regarding love and immortality and agelessness so all these couples can live and grow old together.

-I am low key disappointed it was never revealed Evangeline was somehow Foxgirl. I really liked The Ballad of the Archer and the Fox story (even before it was revealed that Jacks was the Archer) and wanted them to have a happy ending :/ And we never saw Jacks as the Archer shoot anything!

-from Jacks’s response I think the apples are a way to distract himself from kissing. Bet that would be fun to note on a reread.

-I really liked this series. It’s peak romantasy for anyone who loves the vibes and aesthetics and storytelling of fairy tales played both straight and subverted. I personally enjoyed it more than the Caraval series, but would 100% recommend reading the Caraval series first. Of the three, I liked The Ballad of Never After the most, it had the most going on plus some of the most romantic moments (especially that ending!) I would definitely pick up another book set in this universe, and intend to read Spectacular eventually (though it seems more of a fluffy holiday short story based on the synopsis…unless Tella’s gift to Legend is revealing her pregnancy, and this springboards a new series about their daughter…)

-Evangeline/Jacks are currently winning favorite fictional couple of the year. Theirs was a very romantic story, I’m all in for the guys that would do anything to keep their girl safe. And I just loved Evangeline and her hope and optimism.

[themoodydoodles]

Torpedo Boy and Ms. Pepper

Holy hell these two-

Anyway go watch Lackadaisy! It’s an absolute masterpiece in so many ways

The crew that worked on it are so freaking talented omg-

[shootingstarpilot]

omg happy birthday!! You‘re my favorite ao3 writer and you seem like such a lovely person, I hope you were able to relax after your move! xx

not me over here full-on pressing my hand to my heart while grinning like a fool at my computer screen <333 thank you so much!! have another photo of the obes, armed and dangerous with some dummy torpedos below decks <3

[saintsenara]

subluxation is a need and i would like you to talk about it

also please god talk about gardener’s question time. i’m so serious

thank you, pal, for two exemplary choices from the work in progress tag game list!

very funny to me that - having once declared yourself to not be a rare pair girly - you have come out swinging in favour of the two rare pairs on the list. the corruption continues apace...

gardener's question time is the result of a prompt i saw last year for a rare pair fest - which i didn't have the time to dive into at the time but which has stayed gnawing at my brain ever since - for a post-war fic with severus snape/andromeda tonks as the pairing.

and you'd better believe i was intrigued...

we're still in the early stages with this one, but the basic idea is to bring these two together through the complexity of their grief. [cheerful...]

the struggle when writing things in which snape lives is, of course, how you approach the fact that he has been living according to a script which has now ended. for all the implication of canon that dumbledore expected him to survive [why does he tell harry at king's cross that he intended snape to be the true master of the elder wand, if he wasn't planning for his loyal spy to reveal his true loyalties by helping deliver voldemort's final death blow?], snape can be very easily viewed as having presumed - and maybe even hoped? - that he would die in the second war.

how he deals with - for the first time in his life - having no master and having the freedom to choose to live on his own terms is something i think is always interesting to explore.

but i think it's particularly interesting to mash into andromeda's own finished script - the fact that her war has ended so devastatingly, with her husband, daughter, and son-in-law all dead; that she has gone from being a grandmother to teddy's primary caregiver [and the resentments that brings up - as we've talked about before, i'm wedded to the idea that she doesn't really like harry and isn't thrilled that he's teddy's godfather]; and, most thorny of all, that her sister is dead and there is now absolutely no chance of bellatrix seeing the error of her ways and trying to make amends [which, while i loathe the common trope that andromeda and her sisters would reconcile easily, is something i believe it's entirely reasonable for her to have hoped could be possible, even if she recognised it's unlikely it ever would have been.]

snape's post-war relationship with the malfoys - presumably absolutely torpedoed by the reveal that he was a spy - also has parallels with andromeda's post-war reckoning with narcissa.

the title is because andromeda wanting to grow a kitchen garden of medicinal plants [and healing through it! omg, a metaphor!] was the premise which sprang to mind when i came up with this. i may have been watching gardener's world [i'd risk it all for monty don] at the time.

subluxation is obviously something we've talked about a lot, seeing as its development has definitely run alongside percy entering his post-war flop era in beasts.

for the uninitiated, it's - in the main - the story of what percy's year of working for the death eater-controlled ministry during deathly hallows looked like.

i think we've both been struck by the fact that pretty much every fic which deals with this question has percy offering some sort of behind-the-scenes resistance to voldemort's regime - maybe not as flashy as that offered by the order members in his family [although, let's be real, what the order actually does in that year is... debatable], but fundamentally aligned with the goodies against evil.

and, i want to be clear, all of the percy-the-resistance-fighter stories i've read have been amazing. but they've still never managed to shake me from my conviction that he probably... didn't do anything substantive against the regime at all. that he just fucked around and then, as the battle of hogwarts approach, began to find out...

and i am choosing to take 'fucking around' literally...

have a little snippet from this month's chapter:

Audrey's gripping his hand.

Her palm is clammy. His isn’t much better.

She was called back from her day off an hour ago. The Minister’s full support staff is assembled in a row against the wall in Meeting Room J. Biagio is crying. Clarice looks like she’s about to be sick.

Rookwood - Mr Rookwood, they have to call him now - is slithering up and down the line, snapping at anyone with wonky knots in their ties or lint on their robes. The hum of chatter rolls in from the Atrium. It sounds warm, the ordinary murmur of people greeting old friends or needling each other over Quidditch rivalries. The staff from the canteen mingle among them with platters of canapes - the Death Eaters have upped the usual standard of refreshments, but perhaps that’s part of pulling off a coup, Percy wouldn’t know - and champagne. 

Hands are being shaken, and partners and children are being asked after, and holiday plans are being discussed, and absolutely nobody - not a single, solitary member of the great and the good of wizarding Britain - seems shocked to discover that the entire world has been upended in a matter of hours, on this completely ordinary day.

It's this which is so terrifying, that the Minister didn’t see any of this coming, but everyone else did.

Agnes Skim, who presents the six o’clock news on the WWN, kissed Mr Yaxley on both cheeks and asked if he and his wife were still coming over on Sunday. Mr Selwyn was laughing uproariously at a joke told by one of the Wizengamot’s most distinguished members as he showed him to his seat. Half of the Hogwarts governors are milling around the place, making cheerful conversation with mass-murderers. There are representatives present from Gringotts and St Mungo’s and the Diagon Alley Shopkeepers Guild. The Prophet’s chief political correspondent breezed in five minutes ago, gabbing away to Travers - Mr Travers - like he was an old friend.

Which, Percy supposes, he probably is.

The Unspeakables have crawled out of their domain to greet Mr Rookwood like some conquering hero, miraculously returned from a mission all thought doomed. And, out of all the mundane horrors of that afternoon, it is the sight of Mr Croaker - who sends his father a card every Christmas and complimented his mother on her hat at the last staff party - thumping him on the back and saying ‘bloody wonderful to see you, Gus’ and Rookwood saying ‘likewise, Saul’ and Croaker grinning and saying ‘this is quite the event, isn’t it? I hope he’s paying you overtime’ and Rookwood winking at him and saying ‘I shall pretend not to have heard that’ and both of them collapsing into laughter, which makes tears start to slide down Percy’s face.

But not for long. There is no time to panic, because Rookwood clicks his fingers at them and tells them to line up on the dais in the Atrium, as a hundred camera bulbs flash and blind them. Banners are draped everywhere, and while they show the Ministry’s insignia and not the Dark Mark, the fact that so many people are walking around with rolled-up sleeves makes clear that they are one and the same now.

The only comfort, he thinks, the only comfort, is that - as he looks out at the sea of chairs, signs affixed to them reading Avery - Dolohov - Mulciber - Carrow in elegant calligraphy, he doesn't see one labelled The Dark Lord.

A hush falls over the room as Mr Thicknesse, in magnificent burgundy robes, his hair slicked back, displaying his high forehead, steps on to the dais and places a series of notecards on a lectern. It is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Percy wonders if the hammering of his heart is echoing in the room.

‘Wizards and witches of Britain,’ says Thicknesse, and there is an outbreak of applause. He holds up his hands to still it.

‘Wizards and witches of Britain. My friends.

‘This afternoon, following a special meeting of the electors, in which they voted unanimously in my favour, I was invited by the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot to accede to the office of Minister for Magic. It was my profound honour to accept the position. I am humbled by your trust in me to steer our great nation through this time of turmoil.’

There is another outbreak of applause, another barrage of camera flashes. And Percy notices that Lestrange is standing at the back of the room, talking to a man who greatly resembles him. Who must, he supposes, be his brother.

‘I have sworn before the court and swear before you now that I will uphold and defend the values - and the dignity - of the Ministry of Magic.’

In the years to come, he will look back and wonder whether he can pinpoint the exact moment when his life changed. If he can unravel a single thread from the tapestry of a hundred thousand ordinary days and follow it back to one pivotal second.

‘But I consider it my duty to go even further. I consider it my duty not only to defend the dignity of the Ministry, but to defend the dignity of magic itself.’

And he will conclude that he can. That he can trace all of it, every single bit of it, back to Rabastan Lestrange leaning forward, and accidentally brushing against Rodolphus Lestrange’s injured shoulder, and Rodolphus wincing - only slightly, but enough to make clear to Percy that he is not a monster at all - and revealing himself to be an ordinary man, who is tired after a long day and who aches.

‘Because are we not tired? Do we not grow weary at the sight of our traditions being torn down and soiled? Do we not feel crushed as more and more of our values are washed away, as the ordinary, hard-working witches and wizards of this country are told that they should be ashamed of themselves for their faith in the might of magic?

‘I will be a Minister for those people. I will be a Minister for those who are proud to be set apart by magic. I will rid them of the filth which pollutes their lives and forces them into compromise and shame.

‘I will bring them something clean and true and refreshing.

‘Something proud.

‘And pure.’

[if you think this speech is copied from succession... you would be one hundred percent correct.]

[y3llowkiwi]

Would you eat a jellaton?

omg hi sane person in my ask box!!! uh. depends which. the small ones looking things ofc. same for the exploding torpedos and the long splashdown ones.

though i do not like seafood so. how that’ll work i do not know. jello-tons

[taavisplushies]

here are our IKEA sharks, sharkie (the one on the bottom) and his baby sister, torpedo (the small one on top). torpedo is newer, while sharkie is a few years old and well loved.

i sincerely hope you get better soon. sending you healing energy & vibes & the like.

-cyrus

omg they both are so cute!!!

they look soft and cuddly… also i love the names! sharkie is a classic and torpedo sounds cool!!

thank you cyrus!! i appreciate both seeing your cool sharks and the good vibes :)

i hope you and the shark siblings have a great day!

[hangmanbradshaw]

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

💖 What made you start writing?

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

omg you hit me with a challenge, I love it! Okay.

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh? So many. Throwing in humor is my fave thing, but recently I was re-reading IWTBY and laughing at the scene where Bradley and Jake are spying on Mav and Ice's date like the worst spies in history.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately? I do not! I have to have total quiet to write, but I listen to so much music as inspo for when I am writing later. Right now I'm listening to TS as always (current song I'm obsessed with is I Almost Do) and Got Me Started by Troye Sivan thanks to ABY.

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped? A couple. Started an ABY themed fic a few months ago that I might rework. A witch one. The baseball/football philly one that turned into IWTBY instead.

💖 What made you start writing?

I've always LOVED stories, like annoyingly good at guessing movies/books cuz I love how they're crafted and I just have an eye for it I guess? Anyways I never thought I could write, but my therapist recommended art therapy in some form and I thought, well, I'll try? And I wrote my mummy AU so fast and fell in love with it immediately. Here I am.

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

unhappy ending, major character death

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

hehehehhee here you go:

His heart jumped into his throat, but he forced a smirk and said, “Me? I’m not the one torpedo-ing through a damn crowded bar.” He gave the man a long, hard look. He was just as hot as he remembered, maybe even more. He had on some ridiculous jorts and sneakers, and draped over his torso was the ugliest palm tree hawaiian shirt he’d ever seen. He raised an eyebrow as he asked, “What, gotta get to the Hawaii Five-O Convention?”

“Funny.”

“Bloody.”

The guy furrowed his eyebrows and said, “No, I said funny.”

“No.” He said with a roll of his eyes as he gestured at the side of the hawaiian monstrosity where a deep red was spreading. “You’re bleeding. What did you do, get attacked by a shark?”

“Oh.” Brown eyes blinked down at his side like he was just now realizing he was bleeding. He lifted the edge of his shirt up, and Jake tried not to salivate over the sliver of toned abs and happy trail that poked out, instead focusing his attention on the gash on the man’s side, over the cut of his hip. “Well, look at that.”

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

I very intentionally connect my worlds lmao but I realized recently I unintentionally use the phrase 'takes one to know one' in like....most of them lmao.

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

That's the dream, isn't it? Imposter syndrome still says I can't, but hell maybe I should try? Won't know if I don't. (If I could write all day I'd be in literal heaven. It's seriously my fave thing)

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

in little ways. my twister au when they're getting divorced hurt ugh. parts of iwtby or even tree farm when they're broken up.