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[acwolyf]

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[cheruv-ii]

Lucien's Lore/Timeline Up Until CT

TW//Substance abuse, Parental/Sibling deaths, Transphobia, Ableism, abuse, self destructive thoughts/attempts and Bullying-Please only read ahead if mentally okay to!

Disclaimer!!-Lucien's story does get dark at certain points, as I've stated before, I use OCs to vent about certain things, as well as base parts of them off my own life experiences. No part of his story is meant to be for shock value or "edginess", it all has a purpose. On top of all that, the show is for children, so of course it wouldn't be too dark with its themes, however I did want to delve a little bit more into the after effects of the trauma that would be being one of the campers. If this makes you uncomfortable, please do not read, I don't mind!

Now to it, everything under the cut!

Pre-Camp Cretaceous-

Lucien was born into a family of three, his mother(unnamed), father(Brian), and older brother(Landon, 9 years older than Lucien). The four lived a very normal life, as far as Lucien was aware, Lucien's little sister(Mia) being born when he was 5. Both his father and Mother worked for Jurassic World as scientists. Shortly after Mia's birth, their mother went missing, there was a search for her but she was never found. Unfortunately this cause Landon to fall into a depression that ended up with him hanging out with the wrong type of people, people who taught him that the best way to cope was with drugs.

Everything after that seemed to start on a slow but steady downhill, Lucien's father was a loving man, but he needed to continue to work to keep his family afloat, Landon did try his hardest to keep a stable job despite everything, but as time went on his addiction made it harder to do that, this all left a very young Lucien to do most of the parenting for Mia. This was also around the time Lucien started to realize he was "different", he hated being called a girl, he knew it was 'technically' what he was, he knew his body was that of a girl's, but it all just felt wrong. Despite not knowing what this meant, he was lucky enough to have a supportive family, Landon and Brian referring to him with more GN/Masc terms and pronouns to see how that felt, which as expected, felt right. Brian knew Lucien was trans, he always had a feeling, but at that point in the game, with how young he was, he never really told him what that was, not wanting Lucien to feel like it was something weird that would make him too "different", instead just going along with the terms that made him comfortable until he reached a certain age. The unfortunate part of this however, was that with Lucien entering school it was somewhat- difficult- to explain to children of the early 2000s, on top of his disabilities(both physical and more mental, ie. Autism/selective mutism), with this, kids were quick to judge, and unfortunately he became an outcast in his schools due to bullying.

The three siblings had to move in with their grandparents after their mother disappeared, which was okay at first, as despite their grandmother being strict with them, as well as somewhat.. bigoted- towards Lucien, they did have a loving grandfather. Unfortunately things went south when he passed, his passing causing their grandmother to spiral, her transphobia towards Lucien becoming so much worse. I won't go into detail, but to say the least, Lucien is absolutely terrified of that woman, even as an adult. Sometime around here was when Lucien's grandmother did something absolutely vile, which I once again will not go into detail on, but it ended up with Landon and his friends beating a man that had hurt Lucien, unfortunately for Lucien, this man was one of his bullies' fathers, which caused the bullying to become worse.

Things continued like this until Lucien was 12, which is when Landon unfortunately passed away, this tore Lucien apart, as Landon was his best friend, and on top of that, their father became sick not long after (quite possibly triggered by stress) and was forced to come home on sick leave, which at least got Lucien and Mia out of their grandmother's house and home with their father. Lucien had to become a major caretaker of both his father and Mia while very young and in mourning, causing him to fall into a deep depression, and on top of all that his bullies took Landon's death to fuel their bullying, telling Lucien it was his fault, because of this, Lucien ended up dropping out of public school, getting homeschooled which was luckily funded by JW.

It was all of this that made Brian start to look into the Camp that would be launched in a few years, he knew they'd be looking for campers to give everything a test run, so he used a few of his connections to have Lucien selected as one of said campers. Lucien had always loved dinosaurs, and always wanted to go to JW, but due to his father's work schedule he simply was not able to, so his father thought now that he was home he would finally let Lucien go, even if he couldn't be there with him.

Lucien was unaware of this until mere weeks before he would be leaving for Camp Cretaceous, and while part of him was excited to finally go, it was very quickly drowned out by the worry that his dad and Mia wouldn't be able to take care of themselves while he was gone, but Brian did assure him it would only be for around a week and they would be okay. Unfortunately, that did not happen.

Camp Cretaceous and the Downfall of Jurassic World-

The first person Lucien met at CC was Ben, both of them docking at the same place as they lived close to each other, they ended up talking a bit before the boat arrived, Lucien learning the Ben knew asl which was very helpful considering it was Lucien's main form of communication due to his selective mutism (The nerves and everything of the trip were making it act up, and he would end up not talking verbally until around the 2 month point of being stuck on Nublar)

Lucien ended up clinging to Ben the entire time they were at camp, the same way Ben clung to Kenji. In all honesty, Ben didn't mind it, it was nice having someone that would hold back with him even when the group went forwards, he also could not lie, having someone cling to him for protection definitely made him feel a little cool (especially when that person was so pretty) they ended up growing pretty close, Ben even letting Lucien use his inhaler at some point after his went missing in the chaos (yes, ben did have to coat it in sanitizer after but its the thought that counts). One core moment of being on the island pre-monorail was when, at one point, Ben fell, cutting up his hands pretty bad and getting them dirty. This, plus all the stress, triggered a panic attack on Ben's part, Ben panicking that his hands would get infected due to the dirt and kill him. Lucien, both having struggled with panic attacks, as well as knowing how to dress a wound (his dad worked on the medical team on JW, and shared a lot of his knowledge with Lucien), quickly did what he could, using the bandage wraps and alcohol wipes in Ben's 'dork pouch' to clean him up and dress the wounds, doing his best to help calm him down as well as constantly signing to him "You're okay, I've got you, you're gonna be okay." (Something Landon used to tell him when he would have panic attacks). This acted as one of the first moments Ben realized that he may feel more for Lucien than he had originally thought.

The monorail incident definitely fucked Lucien up hard, having tried to help Darius save Ben but it just- didn't work. Lucien shut down after this, Brooklynn physically having to pull Lucien off with her when they all jumped off the monorail. Lucien ofc wanted to go looking for Ben, which everyone (but Kenji and Sammy) objected to; in hindsight, he understands that it wouldve been stupid to spend time looking for someone who was probably long since dead when they only had a certain amount of time to get to the boat, but at the time this cause Lucien to lose any sense of trust for the group (He wasnt AS mad at Kenji and Sammy, but there was certainly a bit of distain for them not fighting as hard) and he became even more shutaway from them than he had been before.

The month where Ben was missing was horrible for Lucien, and he could not lie, that plus being stuck on the island brought back the suicidal thoughts that he thought he left on the mainland, he never acted on them, but there were a few times while running from dinosaurs he considered just- stopping dead in his tracks, acting as a distraction so the others could get away, but he didn't, always being pulled forward by Sammy or Kenji, he owed his life to him honestky, as much as he hated how egotistical Kenji was or how- weirdly optimistic Sammy was.

Lucien was ecstatic when Ben came back, of course, it was hard to tell through all the sobs, but he is sososo relieved to have Ben back, even if he has- changed. This is the first time Ben hears Lucien's voice, the first time any of the campers hear his voice, and its the first time Lucien says anything verbal, telling Ben "I thought I-..we- lost you-" and Ben would be lying if he said that one second slip up didn't make his heart run laps (HOW did it take them so long to realize they loved each other CHRIST). It took a lil bit to get used to Jungle Man Ben, but it wasn't too hard since Lucien was just relieved to have Ben back, ntm having Ben actually protrcting him at times, even putting him on Bumpy's back whenever they had to walk/run somewhere, not wanting him to trigger a pain flare up, definitely had Lucien questioning if he only liked girls (spoiler, he doesn't, thanks Ben).

He is able to grow more confident once Ben is back, kinda looking up to him and his growth for 'motivation', he's able to start talking with the campers, as well as helping out a bit more. His first major moment where he's able to step up and take some form of control over a situation is when Sammy gets hit by the Scorpios' spines, Lucien has knowledge in venoms and how they act, not only has he been bit by plenty of venomlus things (he does not think before he grabs) but he's also seen his father's studies (some of which did include the secret hybrid). He was able to take watch of Sammy, staying back with Brooklynn and Kenji to keep track of her symptoms, as well as help slow down certain ones. This was definitely the first time him and Yaz ever really spoke to each other (put two closed off ppl in a room, theyre probably gonna sit there in silence until you give up and let them out) Yaz thanking him for helping save Sammy, even hugging him in her emotional state (which very much caught him off guard).

Everything from there was somewhat normal,(Lucien even finding out Ben was also transmasc like him in this time), just them trying to get off the damn island, until Ben dropped the bomb that he didn't want to leave, this all sent Lucien back to the monorail, he knew what it was like to lose Ben, and that was back before they were as close as they were now, he just couldn't do it again. It got to the point where he threatened to stay on the island if Ben was, which Ben absolutely could not let happen, having Kenji physically drag Lucien onto the boat when they left. Ben would be lying if he said Lucien didn't have a big part in why he came back to the boat, yes, all the campers did, and more than anything, realizing he already found himself and didnt need to stay did, but the idea of never seeing Lucien again and letting him deal with losing him again definitely played a huge part in it.

MantahCore and Island 2, electric Boogaloo-(this one may be the shortest because, quite frankly, I forgot half of what happens in s4/5)

The second island is certainly a time for Lucien, the fact that he thought they were finally going home just to end up on another goddamn island sending his mental state crashing all over again, absolutely horrified he was never going to see his family again. The night where theyre all around the campfire is where he's able to break down. Of course at first he doesn't want to, he doesn't want everyone to know how scared he is, but when he doesn't get up to yell with everyone else they all turn their attention to him, trying to get him to join them, and he does- in a sense. At first it starts as just the most bloodcurdling scream, but quickly turns to him venting out all the emotions he's held pent up for the past god knows how many months, yelling about how sick he is of being stuck on random islands and being terrified that by the time he does get home his father is going to be long gone and his sister isnt going to be lost somewhere in the foster system, or worse, with his grandmother. He screams about how guilty he feels leaving his little sister alone, fearing that she's going to lose the only two people she has left. He screams about how he's sick of fearing for his life and not being able to trust anyone, he screams about how he's so sick of not being able to sleep because the RARE times he feels safe enough to actually fall asleep he's riddled with nightmares, whether they be about his own death or the deaths of those he loves. He fully breaks down once its all out, just crumbling completely. Darius is the first to hug him, the part about his dad hitting hard, and it eventually turns into one group hug, which they quite honestly all needed.

After they find Mae, and realize the island is not as it seems, Lucien is able to calm down a tiny bit, he doesn't trust Mae fully, but he can also smell the autism on her which helps a little bit. This is also around when he gets the scar on his face, courtesy of a brad. Mae is able give him the stitches he needs, as well as cleaning and dressing the wound, Ben and Sammy not leaving his side for a second, which is exactly how Ben gets 4 tiny scars on his palm from Lucien digging his nails into his hand while he gets the stitches witjout any form of anesthetic or pain meds.

When Lil Eatie gets injured, Lucien immediately goes into caretaker mode, not caring about his safety and doing whatever he can to make sure she's okay. Of course Mae tries to stop him at first, but once she notices that Lil Eatie has started to trust Lucien, still acting like a literal trex, but also not trying to kill him when he brings her untampered food, she calms down.

Another dino Lucien bonds with on the island is Firecracker, immediately clicking with her and loving her in a similar way to Ben with Bumpy. Everything was fine until he saw Nash controlling her, seeing how scared and in pain she was seemed to flip a switch in him, all his bottled up emotions turning into anger. This is what started him on the path he's on now, where he's willing to do anything to protect dinosaurs.

Anything.

From that point on he just does whatever he can to bring Nash and Daniel down, refusing to let them proceed with controlling dinos and their dino fights for their own enjoyment, or anyone's for that matter. Lowk forgot what happens atp but he helps take them down with the others, joins Ben to get Kenji and Bumpy back, helps with the plan to get Daniel off the island, yeehaw.

And then they're rescued.

Returning to the mainland and aftermath

Lucien is absolutely terrified the whole ride back to mainland.

Everyone else is excited, happy to go back to their families (except Kenji), and Lucien is alone, not even sure if his father is alive, if his sister is okay, if he has a family to go home to. Ben does try and cheer him up, reassure him that his dad is okay and everything will work out, but ofc, Lucien is too afraid to really listen.

When they return to the mainland, his father isn't there. Everyone's parents are there to reunite with them, and Lucien is alone, hell, even Kenji gets invited into the Bowman family hug. This does cause panic on Lucien's end, but Ben quickly takes notice, introducing Lucien to his mom and asking if Lucien can try calling his dad with her phone. She ofc says yes, recognizing Lucien as one of her coworker's kids, and Lucien is able to call his father, who is alive, but in the hospital as his health has deteriorated due to Lucien being assumed dead.

Ms.Pincus ends up giving Lucien a ride to the hospital, as it's very close to Ben's home anyways, Lucien sees his dad and sister again, breaks down, introduces Ben to his family, all is well.

Lucien and Ben continue to see each other nearly daily, Ben visiting him and his family in the hospital whenever he can, as thats literally where Lucien and his sister live now.

Everything is okay for just under a year, then Lucien's father passes.

Lucien is a mess after his father's death, his mental health completely deteriorating now that his father is gone. He blames himself for his death, wondering if he never went to that camp, never caused him so much stress, that he'd still be here, but its too late, he went and his father is gone.

Luckily enough for Lucien and Mia, Ms.Pincus did make arrangements with Lucien's father to take Lu and his sister, as his father did NOT want them ended up with their grandmother or in the foster care system. Thankfully for them Ms.Pincus had always been interested in adopting, as Ben's birth took a toll on her health, but she was afraid that whoever she adopted could hurt Ben, so taking in two kids who she knew loved her boy and would never hurt him was easy.

(TW FROM THIS POINT ON FOR DRUG ADDICTION)

Lucien resorts to using after his father is gone, it's the only thing that can keep him from feeling so many emotions, from thinking about the what ifs and the fact that his father is dead. It keeps him numb. This is what leads him to his current place of work, the sanctuary kept him in check, not allowing drugs and keeping him busy, keeping him distracted. Was it the most safe? No, but neither was using.

It doesn't help that he and Ben get into an argument soon after he starts using, Ben getting mad at him for clinging onto him so hard and ending the argument with "Sometimes I wish you never moved in!"

This is when he disappears for 18 months, yes he lets everyone know he's leaving, but him going no contact definitely scares people, especially Ben. This is what leads to Ben going to the island with Mae, as he cannot handle going home to a house without Lucien.

Post leave of Absence, Pre CT, The birth of Luciben

Lucien comes back after 18 months, finally feeling okay enough to see those he loves again, ntm he misses them like crazy. Ben is relieved to see him but god is he pissed, pissed that Lucien just up and left him and Mia behind, pissed that he did nothing to let them know if he was okay, or even ALIVE. Ben doesn't know WHY he left though, and that does cause arguments, Ben nearly breaking down when Lucien tells him why he left. The fact that his words were the final straw makes him feel so guilty, the fact that he made Lucien feel that way when he was already going through so much absolutely tears him apart.

The n7 aren't as close anymore once Lucien comes back, and it takes a lot of getting used to, Lucien even trying to get them together only to be shot down nearly everytime, so he just- gives up. Ben notices that Lucien stops asking tk hang out, and while he was one of the ones guilty for shooting down plans, it does worry him that Lucien just stopped asking. Ben tries asking to hang out only to be shot down himself, leading to an argument where Lucien breaks down and admits he feels like he doesn't belong here anymore, and that he almost regrets coming back because it feels like no one wants him around anyways. This breaks Ben's heart as he was part of the people shooting him down. From this point on Ben makes it his mission to make plans whenever he can, trying desperately hard to get everyone back together at least once for Lucien's sake.

Luckily Brooklynn does come around, she travels the most and she's felt that loneliness before, so she does what she can to visit Ben and Lucien whenever she can, which is when Lucien starts bleaching his hair with her help, making it somewhat of a tradition that whenever she comes around they redo his roots.

Things start to get better, Ben and Lucien hanging out like they used to, this however brings up buried feelings for each other, and a few months after Lucien comes back, right before Ben's about to go to uni, Ben confesses that he loves Lucien, and ofc Lucien returns those feelings and bam, gay rights.

Everything is good for a while, Lucien and Ben are happy together (minus the fact that Ben is still in the closet so no one knows about them), and eventually Brooklynn finds out about them (its kinda hard to make an excuse for why you were caught locking lips with your "homie") and she's super supportive, leading to their lil "BBL" friend group.

This just makes Brooklynn's death so much worse.

Lucien relapses after Brooklynn is pronounced dead, even showing up at her funeral high (he couldn't do it otherwise), this causes issues of course, it getting to the point where Ben doesn't feel okay leaving Lucien alone, leaving uni in order to be with him constantly, afraid he's going to do something stupid. Not long after he gets the messages on dark jurassic, leading to him and Lucien lacking up and heading out to get the others, leading to the events of Chaos Theory.

Really quick CT rundown go read Secret for more details

Tl;dr, Ben fucks up by saying he has a gf instead of coming out, the events of Secret happen, Lucien goes with Kenji and Darius, they find out that Lucien also left messages for Brooklynn when he relapsed, he breaks down, Kenji and Darius help him calm down, then the rest of Secret happens abd they get on the boat, yeehaw.

This ended up being lowkey poorly written near the end cause I just wanted to get it out, but I will most likely be releasing more detailed fics to kinda give insight on the parts where it feels like there are missing details. I just need to finally lost this cause its been in my drafts for a month LMAO

[phantasmiac]

pro wrestler!touya au where he’s the oldest son of the todoroki ring dynasty

cw/tw: none except for one nsfw mention (nothing detailed) and a fem!reader

wc: 0.9k

a/n: i need everyone who knows their wwe to know that 1) i am imagining endeavor as the undertaker and 2) the dabi x reader in this is highly inspired by cm punk and aj lee. do with that what you will xx

touya who has one of the most anticipated wrestling debuts of all time at 19 years old, all because he’s the son of pro wrestling legends, rei and endeavor. he’s an instant hit because of his badass persona and alt ring attire (see: jeff hardy), but most notably for his “daredevil” style of wrestling: crazy stunts with tables, ladders, chairs, etc., lots of high flying maneuvers; but he also falls under the brawler category. it all makes up for not being a “powerhouse” wrestler (the ones who are huge and can lift a ton) like his old man or his up and coming little brother natsu. he definitely has some metal entrance song like the ones used in the 2000s (imagine him walking out to metalingus 😫).

touya hates being linked to his parents, and really would have preferred if his siblings hadn’t followed him into the industry — but still hypes up them up during any out of character interviews and supports them as best he can. especially fuyumi bc he knows the women in the industry don’t get the credit they deserve 😡 gives great advice and won’t turn them down if they ask to train with him. but he downright refuses to be involved in any family storylines, he thinks it’s super corny. doesn’t mind being put in real matches against them or tag teaming, just as long as it doesn’t become a whole thing.

touya most often takes on the heel role (aka the bad guy role), but doesn’t mind occasionally acting as a tweener (the anti-hero). his siblings are all faces (good guys). he’s perfect for the role because he’s amazing on a microphone. even though the storylines are planned, all of his segments or promos are written by him and contain a lot of great improv, and they’re always considered iconic by fans, bound to be on a “top 10 wrestling promos of all time” list. he’s just the bad guy you can’t help but root for, even if you’re a fan of his opponent. everyone hates that they love him! on the other hand it kinda sucks because his dad was also a popular heel during his career, so he gets a lot of comparisons.

backstage and out of character, touya is actually a super chill guy. he’s always down to do things for charity, whether it be matches or meeting fans. never says no to a picture or an autograph (unless you’re a dick about it) and has a soft spot for kid fans. you’ll most often find him with his head down listening to music in the locker room, hyping himself up before it’s time to head out to the ring. probably has beef with some other people on the roster because he comes off as arrogant (he’s just reserved and quiet!) and because of his family background. it makes him laugh because he’s really unbothered at the end of the day.

you’re put into a storyline with him where you’re supposed to act as his love interest, and fans are always commenting on how much chemistry you share. the fans eat it up because you’re the first female wrestler touya has ever interacted with both in and out of the ring. most fans thinks you both are probably just really good at acting; but the secret to your chemistry is the hot quickie you have backstage before every segment. you really do start off as coworkers at the beginning, and then friends with benefits, but as the storyline progresses and you’re forced to constantly work and spend time together he really starts to fall for you hard. needless to say you become a power couple pretty quickly and touya can’t even bring himself to be angry at the fact that you’re becoming the next generation rei and endeavor. because he loves and respects you so much 🥹 both as a fellow wrestler and a person.

you’re on the road together 24/7 and touya loves it because he gets to spend every day with his best friend! he loves to train with you, gets so very proud when he sees you pull out a move you’d practiced with him during an actual live match! he’s so funny bc he’s been in this industry for so long and understands that most rivalries aren’t real, but always ends up having animosity towards your opponents in real life 😭 especially if you got injured fighting against them, even if it was a complete accident. you sew and patch up a lot of his attire for him, so he always feels like he has a part of you with him when he goes out there. if you wear any of his siblings merch instead of his he’ll have a pout etched on his face for as long as it takes him to get over it. if your storyline eventually comes to an end he will adamantly refuse to do another romantic one with anyone else.

at the beginning of his career he expected to be one of those wrestlers who’s still in the game in their 50s. but by the time he’s in his mid 30s and you guys are over a decade into your relationship and a couple of years into your marriage, he decides he wants to settle down and have a family with you. so he ends up retiring and fans are heartbroken, but not angry because touya released the sweetest retirement message and they’re so happy for you two 🥰 he does make surprise comebacks once in awhile post retirement, can’t completely stay away from the ring. and now he’s entirely shameless about supporting his siblings. makes your kids become their super fans. sometimes he shows up to events to support them as an audience member, with his babies on his shoulders. he’s just living his peaceful little life knowing that he was able to have a successful career and retired as a legend.

★ a/n pt ii: are there any other dabi stans who had a hardcore wwe phase, is that a subgenre of dabi stan or does the population just consist of me

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Lmao ignore me if u want but I have two questions

How would Kai be as a werewolf alpha???

And if he was a demigod like percy Jackson would would he be the son of???????

Here is a picture of our pookie as an apology

First of all, that gif is making me absolutely FERAL. Second, I want to bite him. [you have a lovely clavicle; i'm a neck person; that's just silly, you can't stop being a neck person] Third, you never bother me, I promise! I love answering these & talking to you through them (& comments)! I've just been so out of sorts lately with my home life and work life - both chaotic - but desperately have been needing to get back in the swing of things in terms of writing / posting / answering!

Now, to tackle these questions that have both brought hearts to my eyes... (and I was so excited, I made dividers to split them up)

tw: some nsfw (can I even write that on tumblr anymore?) on the wolf portion, but no warnings on the demigod part

#1 - werewolf alpha kai

FUCK

do notttt get me started on wolf kai; how the fuuuck have I not wolf-i-fied him yet 😭😭

okay. I had it down so bad for jacob in the great edward vs jacob debacle of the 2000s. I was OBSESSED with wolves / werewolves in general, too

funnily enough, I don't give a damn for the wolves in tvd. Tyler's fine. Hayley is fine in TO (not tvd tho lmao). The rest in TVD / TO are whatever; the ones in Legacies are HORRID

BUT wolf!kai would be sooo hot; alpha wolf kai especially, oh heaven help me

this man is already dominant & controlling, and with his SO, protective, but add that wolf gene and he's tenfold

he'd be an absolute menace... to damon, to tyler, to mystic falls in general, & maybe even to klaus... & to my ovaries...

starting off, let's just picture him as a wolf

i was actually thinking about this the other day... what if the actual reason that he was "an abomination" was if he had the wolf gene on top of the siphon gene somehow. like, joshua wasn't his real father, or his mother wasn't his real mother, idk, but joshua HATES him for it (kinda like klaus)

kai's childhood is the same - violent, abusive, isolated - and he ends up in the '94 PW the same way, but while kai shows damon and bonnie his ability to siphon, he never reveals the wolf part

when he gets back to the real world, he's going to have to transition again, bc he's no longer on a repeating loop of the same day, so he carefully plans for this

he makes sporadic disappearances throughout the month, so that no one ever catches on to him being absent on full moons

the only reason he's caught, is because [reader] stumbles upon him entering / coming off his transition, but lucky she's been crushing on him or is a wolf herself

if i were to write this out, this is as much plot as i've developed. i would add a bit in there, too, where she mentions klaus, maybe she has a connection to him, and they both can commiserate on their similar childhoods together

but that's all i've got so far; idk if i'm doing anything with it

regardless, wolfy kai!

SO

he'd be so much more temperamental & combative

if damon were to know, he'd be like, oh ffs not another one

but this gene also makes him stronger than if he were just a witch

imagine Tyler's fondness for fight picking + Kai's own flirty / cocky attitude + werewolf lore behavior + alpha behavior, and you've got a dangerous mix wrapped up in one very attractive man, i mean, just look at the gif

whether you're a wolf or not, he puts himself in charge of protecting you, even if you're quite capable of defending yourself

he has to have an arm or a leg wrapped around you, too, and is always on alert, even in his sleep

is also a very cuddly sleeper, is a big spoon, and will throw a fit if he can't sleep with you for some reason

when he's alone with you, he's his usual goofy self, and maybe takes a second to get himself under control in serious situations

but also as an alpha, still knows when to snap into his dominant demeanor when the situation calls for it

now... i've thought up several different scenarios where we could have wolfy kai... and since i'm me, i also have an nsfw section

...so here's that one first

breeding kink would be off the charts

especially as an alpha, where it's so innate, and if he has a pack, a desire to keep it going & keep it strong

and like tyler mentioned, "being horny all the time"

huge biting kink, but only if you're a wolf, too

play bites as a way to show affection, but bites during sex, too

bites in places visible to others; always marking you as his

again, dominant, and would be one to pin you down or keep a hand on your throat as a means of control

would be so into praising you, during & after, telling you how well you did & how proud he is (& how good of a mom you're gonna be jfdsnls)

on the flip side, i don't think he'd be much into exhibitionism / voyeurism because he'd want you all for himself & would not want anyone to see you in one of your most vulnerable states

however, if you were in a pack and someone was hitting on you & not taking any hints that you're taken, he'd probably engage it in to some degree just to teach that someone a lesson that you're his

wolf!reader x wolf!kai

when you're nesting, he's already getting excited. tries to stick his nose in your business, though, and several times, you've bitten his nose to get him out of your space, but he just gets more excited

when ~the time~ finally comes, he tries to control himself, but sometimes gets lost in the pleasure

you have to safeword somewhat often, which he always respects

and his aftercare is always perfect, regardless if you used the word or not

outside of the sexual realm, you are always together

it takes some time to sink into his stubborn head, but you protect him as much as he protects you, and he's very grateful for it

the two of you are your own little pack

and tyler is very jealous of it

eyes roll all across the room when you enter, because the MF gang is pre-preparing for the sass and stubbornness they're about to face; you compliment him well, much to their dismay

but on the bright side, he kills much less, and only threatens or kills if someone threatens himself or you

on a side note, i can see tyler trying to recreate your bond with liv, and her not wanting any part of that wolfishness

she will date him but she won't engage with that, especially considering tyler's wolf-associated anger issues, and kai being her brother who she wants nothing to do with

...but, she has to hand it to you for getting him under control & to her absolute disbelief that it could happen, loving him the way you do (jo, too, is practically astonished, however grateful - he is her twin, after all)

non-wolf!reader x wolf!kai

now, if you're a vamp, he has to be very careful not to bite

tricky during sex sometimes; difficult when you insist on helping him transition

it's much of a caroline x tyler thing; you refuse to leave him but he's terrified of hurting you

whether you're human, or a witch, or a vampire, he could hurt you, and the thought terrifies him

is insistent on a buddyship with damon or stefan, so that they can call klaus if an emergency ever occurs

both are reluctant, but are friends with you, and if something ever does happen, they'd hate for you to suffer, so they do

klaus gets involved & he and kai bond more than anyone would've anticipated

maybe kai reminds klaus a bit of himself - his childhood, his difficult relationships with his siblings, his fancy for one person in particular; maybe kai also reminds him a bit of kol, his own brother with a head full of sarcasm & jokes and a penchant for violence

although, if this is alpha!kai, klaus would notice that immediately and would have an, oh shit, this kid's powerful, moment that would knock him off his feet

kai might not even realize the strength he has, or he does, but doesn't let on to anyone that he knows how powerful he is

regardless of which, klaus knows he has to stay on his good side, and maybe he tells stefan to do the same for his own good

as long as no one becomes a threat, kai keeps his cool, but that alpha side comes out when he's protecting you or himself

and that, for whoever poor soul, is fucking terrifying

#2 - demigod parent

alright... first thought was Hades bc he's so dark & eerie

then I was like nah, way too much of a basic answer, just to tag anyone with a closed off personality and dark clothes as a Hades' kid (don't get me wrong, I love Nico, but in comparison, he & Kai are nothing alike)

Kai just doesn't have the personality of Hades' kids; he is way more than the dark witch he's made out to be by writers

he's extremely talkative, rather lively, & outgoing

ofc he's got that unpredictability & hair-raising ability to slink around like a cat without being noticed (i.e. stalking damon and bonnie for 4 months without their knowledge), but he doesn't scream child of Hades when we learn how talkative and touchy he actually is

so then, bc I haven't read PJO in 6 years, I did some research

Ares became a possibility... he's got some anger issues & is good with a knife

however, he doesn't seem like a child of war

most of his childhood, we can assume, he spent trying to avoid his father's anger & disapproval

sibling murder was the last resort for a depressed, distanced kid who was taught life didn't matter as long as the coven survived

and as vengeful and argumentative as he is, I wouldn't put him in a box with Clarisse, who picked fights 24/7

Hecate came to mind, but as a siphon, I think maybe not

if it was Hecate, he'd probably be outcasted by his half-siblings (and then I'd have to fight them, and it'd be a whole thing), so I took Hecate out of the choices

then, after more research, the obvious answer became Hermes

Kai is such a little shit

he's funny, sarcastic, and just seems like the guy to love a good prank

he's very smart, and can be manipulative if he wants / needs to be

his half siblings would more or less equal him in intelligence and personality, so he wouldn't feel the need to slice & dice them

(and also, doesn't Hermes have the most kids? bc his parents had a fuck ton of kids, so Kai would totally be used to having SO MANY siblings)

(plus unclaimed kids stayed in Hermes' cabin & Kai knows what it's like to be a family reject; they can commiserate)

not to mention, Luke was a child of Hermes, and I vaguely remember he went a little dark & crazy, too

granted, that could happen to anyone, but I can see Kai & Luke being like, hey, half-sibling, ~you're just as sane as I am~

now...

I also considered Aphrodite, and stay with me, bc he's so fucking gorgeous (I mean, again, look at that gif), and it would be cool to have a child of love with his emotions so turned off

imagine his father was so abusive (which he was), that Kai was so shut off when he got to camp

everyone shared rumors about his parentage; whispers of Hades circulated the most

but then it's Aphrodite who claims him, and everyone, Kai included, is shocked

for awhile, his siblings kinda outcast him & he's feeling it; he has definitely considered running away

but someone gives him a chance, maybe someone who feels equally unlike their godly parent approaches him & gains his trust, or maybe it's someone who doesn't like to see others treated the way his half-siblings are treating him

either way, he slowly opens up to them & begins to trust them; they return these feelings to him

with time, he gets fiercely protective & caring towards that person; he shows love in his own ways

eventually, his siblings start to see it & open up to him

once Kai realizes they're being genuine, he shows them similar attention, care, & protection

he might not be the typical child of Aphrodite, but his dulled emotions start to come through once he's given a chance & a safe space

... But as much as I love this headcanon, I say he's 100% child of Hermes. He just fits the bill completely, and I freaking love it.

[solarcitymelodies]

Well hey, if you want actual recs (though nothing can top "you glanced through pictures of all the seasons and this one looked cool"), good starting shows might be

Kamen Rider since you've been meaning to watch: Kuuga (precious goodboy overcomes deepest despair, beloved despite aged CG), Ryuki (anti-heroes fighting each other in a battle royale, inspired like every 2000s late-night action anime), Kabuto (world's weirdest beautiful men have incomprehensible homoerotic drama), Ex-Aid (joyful tone dissonance central feat. videogame doctors. you have contracted a computer virus and I'm going to 360 noscope it)

Super Sentai if you want to relive the power rangers memories: Gokaiger (anniversary show that'll give you a sample of a bunch of other seasons feat. lovable space pirates), Shinkenger (excellently-written samurai drama), or if you're serene with extremely watching a funny kids' show ToQger (rainbows model trains and imagination yaaaay yet still heartwrenching drama mixed in there)

(My personal biggest love is actually older tokusatsu, from the 80s or earlier, but that can be much more of an acquired taste. You could try the super-lean 40-minute 1993 movie Kamen Rider ZO if you wanted to test if older stuff is to your taste. fantastic effects work, influenced guillermo del toro's films, big arachnophobia TW tho)

The big catch is that while there are mirror sites with uploads, they're often lower-quality in terms of video and subtitle translation, and I'd highly recommend seeking out the better-quality versions via torrents. Deluge (or qbitorrent or w/e) & VLC player (& a VPN if you're worried about the piracy of it all) don't take /long/ to set up and is easy once you've done it once or twice, but I understand it can seem kinda intimidating from outside (toku fans are usually very willing to help out!)

Luckily, the creators of Ultraman (a series about giant heroes who wrestle Godzilla-style kaiju--Godzilla actually also falls under the 'tokusatsu' umbrella) are much more open to international viewers, and upload their recent shows on their YT channel with language options for English dub/Japanese audio with English & other language subtitles. I personally really enjoyed the most recently completed series, Ultraman Blazar, and the currently-running Ultraman Arc is also fun so far

HEY OMG I THOUGHT I ANSWERWD THIS AND I DIDBT !!!!

I want you to know I DID see this <3 and I rlly appreciate the recs 😭 I'm so sorry I forgot lol

I need desperately to watch Kabuto ...... I love toxic yaoi 🫶

I rlly need to figure out how to torrent/VPN because I do quite a bit of piracy hehe.... also I'd love to have adblockers on :P I will probably call upon my techy friends to help me with it

But thank you so much op 🙇 this is very swag of you

[catboy-bride]

my ada wong headcannon masterlist

warning - this is kinda long and yes it will be going all over the place, small tw for a vague mention of self-harm

also please feel free to add any of your ada hcs, i wanna hear them !!

general stuff

mtf trans

even though "ada wong" was initially a pseudonym (something she used actually pre-transition), she pretty much considers it her real name at this point

she's originally from hong kong but spend a fair amount of time in mainland china as well as a few countries in the former soviet union as a teen

speaks several languages besides english but is most fluent in mandarin chinese, cantonese, russian, polish, spanish, french, and japanese

things about her that make me want to scream and cry

she has very specific methods she uses to ground herself in order to keep her composure

tensing every muscle one at a time from her jaw to her feet, and if interrupted it can make her lash out 

she pinches herself to force herself to focus

she avoids certain foods that she associates with her life before abandoning her original identity

she also just avoids eating things that she didn't make out of a general paranoia of being poisoned

double or even triple checks that her weapons are on her person as well as their functionality due to a past slip-up

paranoid of wiretaps/people having hidden microphones and obsessively searches people (usually leon) which she often does under the guise of initiating romantic interactions

repeats the same phrase in every language she knows as another way to ground herself and it can again make her lash out if she is interrupted

over time she's trained herself out of showing any emotion which leads to really unhealthy was of emotional release that typically involve indirect forms of self harm

she was really upset by luis' death, as she had grown to see him as a friend and even possibly as a lover, but had to disguise her feelings to avoid showing weakness to krauser and wesker

in fact she very seriously thought about going to desprate measures in order to save luis through the use of one of the virus samples she had collected, but decided against it because she knew how wrong and twisted reanimated human life could be

she's saved leon more times than he or even the audience knows, even on smaller missions, if she learns that leon is out doing government work, she will (directly or indirectly) keep an eye on him to make sure he's okay

no matter how much time has passed, she still can't fully explain why she saved leon the first time in 1998

other tidbits :3

ada was a gymnast from early childhood into her teen years

part of the reason she dresses in a very hyper-feminine (specifically in re2 and re4) was to curb dysphoria, even to the point of being impractical, although overtime she learns how to make the outfits practical (ie; the blade hidden in her heel in damnation)

learned how to play violin, flute, and piano when she was younger but only really remembers how to play piano

she is a very giggly (but emotionally unpredictable)

her ideal date would be either going to a very fancy opera/orchestra performance or a very simple home movie night

she's only genuinely ever really let her guard down around leon and to a slightly lesser degree luis

she's been "romantic" with many people but has only really had a few intimate relationships, those being with wesker, leon, and luis

wesker was absolutely smitten with her for a while and she very much used that to her advantage

she's a vers top c:

ik this is more of a leon hc but she was leon's first

she enjoys classical music but sometimes listens to shitty 90s/2000s emo/rock because it reminds her of leon

she cannot stand certain textures of fabric

a lot of her clothing is custom made because it's hard to find clothes that are cute and practical that also use fabrics with palatable textures

in re2 she clocked the shit out of leon even before seeing that he was binding so she kept trying to drop hints that she was also trans but since leon is a little bit bad at picking up on implicit tone she eventually had to just straight up tell him

[paleairlesscompanion]

Lost Sterek Fic Please Help!

TW: Fic contains past non-con/rape

I've posted this to Lost Fics in reddit but I'm desperate so posting here too.

I need help finding a Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale fic that I remember certain details/plot points of, but no idea what the title was. I've put the various layers of details I remember below. I've been trying to find it forever - please help me before I go insane!

GENERAL:

- Was definitely on ao3

- Was definitely third-person Stiles POV

- I THINK it was about 2000-2500 words but it could have been longer

- I read it several years ago, pre-2018 if not earlier

- Main premise was that Stiles had been sexually assaulted in his early teens but hadn't been able to process what happened to him as being actual rape. He is then triggered when being intimate with Derek, but Derek actually stops when he asks which brings the trauma to the surface. Derek explains that what had happened to Stiles wasn't his fault, hurt/comfort etc.

MAIN PLOT POINTS:

- Stiles and Scott go to party

- Stiles ends up being raped by older girl (starts as consensual making out)

- Girl gaslights Stiles 'of course you want this/all guys want sex'

- Stiles is ashamed, doesn't tell Scott or anyone else what happened

- Few years on, Stiles exaggerates his crush on Lydia Martin to hide his trauma around intimacy/sex

- Meets Derek (canonical age difference), and actually wants to be intimate with him

- They make out but Stiles is triggered and wants to stop

- Derek DOES stop, Stiles asks why, Derek says because Stiles told him to

- Derek respecting his 'no', when the highschool girl hadn't, brings all the trauma/confusion to the surface and Stiles panics and runs

- Derek goes after him, Stiles tells him about his assault, and Derek explains that what happened to Stiles was rape and that it wasn't his fault

- Stiles cries in Derek's arms, Derek is very protective/tender

Super specific details under the cut

SPECIFIC DETAILS:

- Stiles and Scott are early teens (middle school age?) and sneak out at night to go to a highschool party

- It is Scott's idea - Stiles is worried about how angry/disappointed his dad will he if he finds out but goes because his friend wants to

- Scott leaves Stiles alone at the party (I think to go off with some cute girl from one of their classes)

- Stiles feels awkward and out of place surrounded by popular older kids he doesn't know

- He is approached by a hot older girl, and is mostly very flattered that she's showing an interest in him when he's so young/'uncool'

- She is some kind of athlete on a school team

*(I could have sworn it was the girls volleyball team, but this hasn't narrowed my search results so now I'm not sure)*

- They end up in one of the bedrooms alone and begin making out on the bed

- Stiles cant believe this is happening and is excited and willing at first when it's just kissing

- She ends up on top of him and starts escalating from making out to full on sex

- Stiles becomes uncomfortable and wants her to stop -- I can't remember if he says 'no' or 'stop' or 'I don't want this' but he definitely protests

- She is too physically strong (athlete) for Stiles to push her off -- there's a line about Stiles realising the strength hidden in her toned body and being afraid instead of turned on

- She dismisses his protests -- says something about 'don't be silly, of course you want this'/makes a comment about how all guys want sex (may have also said something about it being his lucy day and/or how many boys can say they lost their virginity to a hot older girl? i.e. bragging rights)

- She stays on top of him and rapes him - he's gone into a Freeze response, not participating but unable to stop her

- I can't remember if he comes or not

- She leaves him there - says something like "you're welcome", definitely keeps up the whole 'not even considering he wasn't willing' thing

- It takes him a while to un-freeze, when he does he's shaken but he cleans and dresses himself

- He finds Scott downstairs all happy/blushing with the cute girl from earlier

- I think there's a line about how different Stiles feels from Scott i.e. they entered the party as dumb kids but now Stiles has been changed by his experience, while Scott has stayed the same

- Stiles does not tell anyone what happened

* he's been messed up by what she said to him, lots of self-doubt, like he must have reacted that way because there's something wrong with HIM. Possibly alluded to the whole 'men cant get raped' bullshit. Worried no one will believe he didn't want it *

- The next part is more general description of the next few years going into highschool (and Scott getting turned etc cannon stuff)

- Stiles is super uncomfortable with his peer's increasing focus on sex now that they're all older

- SUPER SPECIFIC LINE but I can't remember the exact wording, something about guys thinking about sex every 7(?) seconds, and that Stiles also thinks about it that often but for a very different reason (trauma)

- He's terrified of being intimate with anyone, but since everyone else is focused on dating/sex, he tries to appear that way so no one knows how fucked up/traumatised he feels about all of it

- It's common knowledge he's had a crush on Lydia since they were little kids so he plays it up his attraction to her (canonical stuff about everyone knowing he's infatuated with her, making embarrassing public declarations about her, etc.)

- She is a safe bet as he knows she would never go for him/reciprocate anything, and his antics stop anyone else from showing interest in him

- There's a line I can't remember the exact words to, something like 'everyone knew Stiles was in love with Lydia Martin, so of *course* he wanted to have sex with her'

- There's also mention of Scott meeting Alison, being super into her and all the PDA -- It makes Stiles feel nauseous (trauma response)

- I can't remember the particulars of how Stiles and Derek end up being interested in each other but they do

- They're in a room in the abandoned Hale house and are going to make out

- I'm pretty sure there's a bit about how Stiles actually wants Derek, and how significant that is when he hasn't been able to feel attraction since what had happened to him -- and he's psyching himself up because he WANTS this and he doesn't want to start feeling scared/disgusted/etc, he wants to be normal and enjoy being with the guy he likes

- They're making out, I can't remember if it's Derek being on top of him, or if Derek goes to put his hand over Stiles cock through his jeans, but something triggers Stiles

- I think there's a line that draws a parallel to him behing young and weak against the athletic rapist, and him being older/bigger now but even more helpless against a werewolf with supernatural strength

- He freezes and says something like 'no' or 'stop'

- Derek stops IMMEDIATELY, takes his hands off Stiles and moved back to give him space

- Stiles is still frozen but is even more thrown that Derek had actually listened and stopped

- I can't remember the exact wording of the exchange but Stiles asks why Derek stopped, and Derek answers because you told me to but like it's the most obvious thing in the world

- It brings up all the buried shit for Stiles, because if Derek listened to him now it means the girl should have listened to him back then and it overwhelms him and he runs out of the house to his jeep

- Derek doesn't understand but knows something is very wrong and goes after Stiles

- They end up in the Jeep together -- I THINK Derek catches up with the Jeep as it's driving through the woods and Stiles slams the breaks OR Stiles is so hysterical when he reaches the Jeep thar he can't get the keys into the ignition and Derek finds him there

- Derek is very slow with his movements getting in the car and doesn't touch Stiles

- Stiles eventually starts to spill everything about his assault, but the way he describes it is through the lens of all the fucked up self-blame he has had about it

- Derek becomes obviously furious, he's mad at the rapist but Stiles sees the anger and looks terrified as though Derek is going to do something to HIM (trauma response)

- Derek deliberately calms himself because he does not want to spook Stiles

- Again, I don't remember the particulars but Derek gently explains that Stiles was assaulted, that it wasn't his fault, that it never should have happened to him, that she should have listened

- He ends up holding Stiles while he sobs and I THINK there's mention that he's going to encourage Stiles to tell his dad

[altcvnningham]

guysss 300 notes!!! from the bottom to the very tippy top of my heart- thank you thank you thank you!!!!! <3

sappy rant below

wahhhh getting sappy and personal here but i wanted to keep it on my blog regardless if anyone reads it because of how much canis major in particular means to me and what she represents. i wish i had the time and the braincells to write the words i actually want to say so i'll attempt here

in the grand scheme 300 notes might not seem much at all- back in my old fic writing days i had a longfic for another fandom that hit 800k reads, and yeeears'worth of comments and messages daily- but canis major, adlerbell, and the introduction to the cod (cw/bo) fandom in particular is something so special to me that idc if i had 5 notes or 5000 notes. i'm just touched that it's canis major in particular that has gained the attention and enjoyment of lovely lovely people!!

she's the first piece of writing i posted for the first time in years on the internet, but most important to me personally is that she's the first major piece of writing i successfully finished after about a year long 'hiatus' from writing; and i use quotation marks because it wasn't a deliberate hiatus. getting personal here so tw// abuse mention

that 'hiatus' was actually a whole year and a half where i was in an abusive relationship with a narcissist. writing has been my main hobby and my joy since i learned how to pick up a pencil, and yet it was the hateful and insipid treatment of an insecure man that managed to suck the joy out of it for me. he made living a gruelling experience and i felt i couldn't even run to the refuge of writing because apart from the constant stress i was under, if i did end up writing anything, it would only ever be about him and the agony he was putting me through. so i stopped, because even writing had become a torture that he seemingly had control over. a part of myself so intimate that i previously believed he could never take away from me, was.

i left him for good in february of this year, and have grieved and healed a thousand times over- i'm not only a different person entirely but i feel like i've forged a whole new life that he has no claim over. but even then when i wrote, it was either processing that grief and trauma, or they were scattershot ideas that remained unfinished.

then in about october (after i'd filed a police report over his ongoing harassment and abuse lol) i found the cod games and begrudgingly fell in love w a series i had always swore to hate. and then i fell in love with adler and bell and wrote canis major.

after years of leaving every scrap of writing unfinished, i sat and worked through this vague idea as a labour of love- a labour nonetheless, and sometimes i fucking hated it, but i really did put so much heart and care into those measly 2000 words. when i posted it on here i really only thought i'd get like 12 notes at most, and stay in my quiet corner of the fandom lurking on 'better' and bigger bloggers. but i was blessed to have it seen and enjoyed by so many wonderful people, and all of yall who have just been the kindest and most welcoming of any fandom i've ever been in. i can't believe that some vague, hazily executed drabble i wrote could be liked at all let alone loved by some. and as much as i love my other fics too, it always hits harder when people express their enjoyment of canis major in particular, because of what she means to me- she really is my baby lol.

canis major to me isn't just my debut into posting online again, nor do i think she's particularly all that good- but it's proof that i can reclaim the joy i felt my abuser took from me, from my love of writing, as my first piece i finally completed after i left him. i suppose to the average reader these things don't seem connected at all, but to me, after all the pain i experienced, after how many deaths of self i have grieved over and over again this year, and how much i've changed, all i really wanted was to fall back in love with writing again. and canis major is something i'm immensely proud of- not because i believe it's all that good, because, well, i've seen the absolute insane amount of talent this fandom has to offer and i barely hold a candle to any of them- but i'm proud because of what she represents to me; finally putting the stars back in the sky i felt he stole from.

i remember some nights i used to point out the big dipper to him and he would belittle me, one time even pushing me over when i looked up to admire the constellation unaware. canis major, my small little labour of love, is the constellation i can admire at all times of the day, that i put there, that he can never take from me. that is wholly my own.

yeah i'm a total sap and i'm cringe and it's just a stupid cod fanfic but idgaf she is my baby and nobody knows what an achievement she is for me >.<

my goal this year after i left and worked through my healing was only just to write again- i never imagined i'd post anything, gain any sort of recognition whatsoever, and certainly never thought i could hit anywhere near to this many notes on something i wrote as an expression of love and ghosts and delayed grief.

tldr; from the bottom of my heart- thank you!!!

canis major

adler x bell!reader

summary: adler doesn’t go back to berlin to forget, but he isn’t so eager to remember, either. after leaving you for dead on that clifftop in the arctic, he knows best to leave the past well alone. too bad that past seems to be alive and walking right in front of him; though where he wants to forget, it seems you’ve already beaten him to the punch. or; bell survives solovetsky and only has a hole in her head and amnesia to show for it. read on ao3

tags/cw: bell!reader, amnesia, light angst, referenced adlerbell, somehow bell survives the ending of cw, adler can't let shit go, adler is not capable of remorse but mayyybe a lil guilt?? dog symbolism always, no pairing yet but hopefully i continue this as a spicy drabble series idk wc: 2.7k

a/n: sooo this is my first fic for the cod fandom and the first fic i've posted online in a long time so hopefully this lil ramble suffices!! i've had adlerbell brainrot and wanted to get at least something out before bo6 ruins all of my headcanons so here's a snippet of something i hopefully find the motivation to continue into a mini series. enjoy :')

Sometimes, he goes back to Berlin.

Stumbling out of the muggy bar into the dank alleyway out the back, Adler fishes out a pack of cigarettes from the front of his jacket; two firm knocks of it against his palm before he plucks one out with his mouth, pockets the box, and flips open his lighter. The clink of the metal echoes into the empty around him, the sudden quiet suffused with the sounds of passing cars on the street, muffled laughter from inside the bar, and the distant barking of dogs. Strays.

The cigarette ignites, glowing a cherry red, and he gasps around the filter greedily. Upon exhale, he sighs.

Adler isn’t a sentimental man by any means. What little he clings to, he does so with a loose grip, less than happy but stolid enough to allow whatever else he deems unnecessary slip through his fingers. Places, people. Things. Memories. Tucks the important things- logic, rationality, work, duty- into orderly compartments at the forefront of his mind, archived and marked off ‘til he needs it, while the rest, the mess, gets done away with, thrown into the great black gorge of oblivion. Anything else that stays- more often than not a thorn in his side, an unbidden, wriggling tumour he can’t find let alone cut out- is sequestered to a dark aperture in the back of his mind, anchored deep where it can’t come back up. Yet somehow, some nights, they always do. The smell of his ex-wife’s hair. The day he got his scar. Vietnam. The lab. Solovetsky—

The next word, the name, forks across his mind like lightning, and he bites his tongue before he can think it. It sits at the back of his mouth, nestled like an aching cavity in his molars. A tremulous breath that he forces down with another drag of his cigarette. Out with the rest. Out with the rest.

The barking doesn’t cease. Dogs, a pair of them, he can hear a couple streets over. He pictures them from the gravelly register of their snarling- maybe German Shepherds, a Bullmastiff or a Rottweiler. Their fight enunciated by the violent rattling of chain-link fences, segregated, the only threshold that keeps teeth from necks.

But no, not a sentimental man. He tells himself that the itch to revisit Berlin every Summer is for superficial reasons, and by no means is renting out a shithole hotel room opposite a sewer-laden river considered a vacation from anything other than the luxuries he gorges himself mindlessly on at home- maybe this is to keep him humble, more than anything. It doesn’t do well to remind himself of old times, not when he’s lived the life he has. Remembering seldom accompanies itself with the bittersweetness of reminiscence, and the taste it leaves in his mouth is always acrid. He doesn’t miss Berlin any more than he misses that dismal safehouse, or that sterile room he wheeled you into, questioned- tortured- no, interrogated- well, he doesn’t care to remind himself of the picture. Or the person he strapped to the gurney. But he catches himself thinking back to the city divided more than he likes to admit, and for whatever ostensible reason it is that drags him back here, he relents to it every time.

He tells himself it’s the weather, the cool rain a nice reprieve from the scorching California heat. Or that the food is better, not so much overprocessed shit and sugars. Can take his coffee as black as he likes without the waitress turning her nose up about it and double-triple-checking if he’s sure. And it’s the people, maybe, who leave him well enough alone. Or the drinks. The views, some places. The- air.

Not like Arctic air. Not like—

The one dog’s snarl rips bloodcurdling through the night, all froth and venom, and as the chain-link fence screeches and judders in its rusted welding the other mutt quiets a moment. Cowers under the meaner dog’s ferocity. Then, like it had been wounded, it lets out a low, anguished howl, beast reduced to a scared little pup. Adler holds the smoke in his chest around a stifled breath anticipating a release. But the first dog just grumbles, the fence clinks, and there isn’t much noise after that.

But the quiet doesn’t last long- just as Adler drops his cigarette and snuffs it with a wrench of his heel, another sound resonates, yowling through the alley.

The grinding of tires upon wet asphalt crunches from just beyond the alleyway entrance. The streetlamp overhanging the entryway glares bright yellow as it bounces off of the garishly coloured taxi cab, pulling up to a groaning halt outside the bar.

He thinks nothing of it, pulling at the collar of his leather jacket. It’s getting cold, and he’s left his drink inside. Wouldn’t want to waste good beer. Adler turns, and makes for the door.

And you step out of the car.

A half-finished cigarette bounces on the sidewalk before you exit, the softened heel of your boot following soon after in a splash upon the flooded curb. Your German is rusty- always has been- but it’s easy enough to utter a quick and easy danke as you pull yourself up out of the cab. The door shuts with a slam, and you tilt your head back to gaze up at the sign above the bar- Der Fluss Lethe glaring in faded lightbox red- and you let out a contented sigh, your breath suspended in the frigid air. Pink, bitten fingers pluck at your gloves, fingerless faded green knit, shovelling them into your jacket pocket.

Adler’s fist is already curled around the handle of the back door as he clocks your presence in his periphery, a stranger like any other- but your image resembles the one that coagulates in the borders of old memory, the dried blood of you he hasn’t been able to wash his hands of since ‘81. Enough that he does a double take, his eyes wide behind tinted glasses, and he stops, his heart following suit.

He’s seen enough bodies in his time to fill the morgue in his mind twice over, and plenty ghosts to wander coldly among the unmarked graves. Vietnam alone is an unwinding cemetery stretching endless, catacombs along the inside of his skull, lined with what his old shrink would call remorse. Guilt. As if the feeling mattered. As if self-reproach could turn self-flagellation into something so incandescent as redemption. As if the bile in the back of his throat could bring back the dead.

And it couldn’t, because it isn’t… that’s not—

Bell.

It’s in the way you stand, your back rigid, that slight slouch to your shoulders, always dragged down upon you like they bore the weight of the whole world (and they did, once, do you remember?). The pelting of rain smacks off of the lapels of your jacket and ricochets like stars, caught in the light of the streetlamp overhead, but for all he knows or cares it could be raining diamond and all he sees is you- the wrinkling of your nose as you accommodate to the cold, how your cheeks flush at the chill (as they had those nights he pulled you into the darkroom, evidence of your apprehension drowned in the red glow of safelights); your hair is longer, unkempt, but still that same colour (clumps he’d find in his clenched fist when you’d argue yourselves into a wrestling match, pinning each other by the throats to dented walls in Die Landebahn); that scar upon your brow; that wavering line of your lip, pursed and hiding behind your reticence as you always did, and your eyes- your eyes—

—you feel someone watching—

—your eyes turn, and fix upon him with the startled softness of a doe, hunter betrayed by the snapping of a branch underfoot. Adler’s heel crunches against broken glass, his hand lingering right in that threadbare threshold upon the doorhandle, and he can’t speak, can’t move, can’t think—

Open the door, Bell, open the door—

—and you stop outside the cab, your breath caught in your throat. You see a shadow in the alley, in the shape of a man.

The darkness of the alley gives enough cover that you don’t see much, but what you do make out of the man prickles at a part of your mind long dormant: the haughtily broad set of the shoulders; the halo of blond tinted red just beneath the flickering exit light above the door where he stands; the shadow of a strong, clenched jaw; and in the brief glinting of passing headlights as cars rush on behind you, you see a face half gorged by a thick, forked scar, a fissure struck down his furrowed expression. A pair of dark aviator glasses hide those eyes that you know are looking at you, reflecting back nothing but your own bewilderment.

There is something you know. Deep inside that half rotted head of yours, where an incomplete recollection of your existence before you awoke bleeding on that clifftop lies, you feel a twinge of recognition. Familiarity. Something. Something stirring deep in your marrow- a fear inherited, a conditioned surrender, a faded polaroid, a kiss? Your migraine, chronic, comes clawing back with a vengeance, as it does most nights, but this time with a savage fervour that wrenches your face into an involuntary grimace. Where the hole in your head had once been all those years ago it tickles and burns, burrowing into your brain and groping greedy fingers along remnants of memory. It claws at you, digging through your amygdala to find something fresh, something old, something palpable, real, something- anything. Searching what little remains visible to you in the thick fog of your own mind to pin a meaning to this feeling, an answer to your question, a name to that face.

You’ve seen him before. You swear. Somewhere. In a dream, reoccurring, behind a red door. You don’t know how, or why you’d think you recognise him- in those dreams, the door never even opens. Your hand ever stuck on the handle, jammed and impenetrable, what sits behind it forbidden to you. Like not even your own mind wants you to know. It confines you to your ignorance, almost blissful.

Adler’s heart kicks violently in his chest. He shot you. He killed you. He’d heard your death rattle on that clifftop in Solovetsky and the sound was almost like singing, your last word, your last breath. A miserere for your short and fractured life. And he’s looking at your ghost, standing there all owl-eyed and as beautiful as the day he found you bleeding out on that airstrip. Before he took you. Before he took you and collared you and made a damned mess of things.

The only thing separating you from the Bell he knows he killed- his Bell- is the star-shaped scar split across your left temple. The only wound he never had to sit and heal as he belligerently patched you up, poking and preening you like his prize dog. Yet in spite of never seeing it before, he recognises the wound all too well. He put it there himself.

And as you stand there for that brief moment- no more than twelve seconds stretched to an eternity- he thinks for a moment that you’ve put it together. You recognise him. You see him. As he is. You’ve figured him out, Bell, as you always do. You’re the only one to have gotten away with it, nearly. Or so he thought. And now he’s watching a corpse having dug itself out of the grave he put it in, standing there, staring at him. Suppose you’ve always been a dead man walking.

You could do it, he thinks. Turn. Fling your heel round and barrel towards him with all the enmity of a cornered animal. He thinks of the strays, barking. Can picture your mouth frothing at the sides as you sink your teeth down into him- gnarled canines, hooked to your chain-link fence- which he probably deserves. Not an unfamiliar feeling by any stretch, but one faraway enough to seem almost sweet now through the hazy lens of nostalgia. If there truly is a sentimental bone in his body after all, then maybe it’s just for that. Still, he holds his breath, awaiting the killing blow he’s surely due. But it never comes.

You release your held breath, finally, tearing your eyes away from the callous faced stranger. It’s a ridiculous notion. Just an uncanny instance of déjà vu. You don’t know that man any more than you know yourself. You settle on a more rational answer- just one of those faces. And with a disgruntled sigh you rub the scar upon your temple to soothe the ache, turn around, and enter the bar alone.

Adler sighs, his heart sinking from up high in his throat back down to his chest. His hand has latched onto the doorhandle for so long it’s gone numb from the cold, bruised knuckles bluer than they were before (bar fights- not here, but another, as there will always be). He wrestles his jaw pensively, knowing he ought to take it off, keep the door closed, turn away, and leave. Slink back, tail between his legs, to that shithole hotel room to drink himself into a stupor. Let you haunt him there, instead. As you always have.

But he doesn’t. He has no idea what idiocy compels him, what soft, dewy-eyed weak link in him snags on that chain, to willingly wander back into the viper den of reminiscence, but he wrenches his fist around the handle, pushes, and lets himself back into the bar, the thick, hot air hitting him like a drug that he breathes in, tart and sour with the cloy of sweat and alcohol but still faintly- just faintly- of you. Like rain carried along the wind.

And Russell Adler is not a sentimental man.

But from across the bar he hides behind his beer glass, watches as you move about, a phantom, weaving through the faceless mass of people celebrating a championship he cares nothing to follow. You take your order at the bar with a smile he’s never seen on you before, boots folded to tip-toes as you lean over the liquor-stickied top, your perfect mouth pink and sweet and laughing and alive. The world seems to move about you in a haze, an indistinct mist of blurred faces and bottled voices and beyond all the light and life and joy that seems to burn bright around you like a halo all he sees is you.

Maybe, then, he’s a fool.

But it isn’t lost on him, how your fingers skirt across your hair in an attempt to hide the scar upon your temple. Nor is it lost on him how you wince at the feeling, the stars in your eyes dimmed for just a split second as you shiver, like a touch imperceptible running fingers down your back. Nor even the way you fight the urge to look, to follow the feeling of his eyes fixed upon you, and surely not the way you lose that fight, surrendered to it, your sweet face turning and finding him in an instant. Without so much as trying, like instinct, like something as pathetic and saccharine as fate. Your heart called to it, a lighthouse in the fog. Port in the storm. Ships passing in the night but called crashing to the same shore.

(The pieces of you are scattered everywhere, Bell. He finds you in every split seam inside himself. Splintered shrapnel dug through his temporal lobe, severing synapses ‘til they go dark. Even stars die quicker than that. Quicker than you. Is that what it felt like for you, too? When the lights went out, was it him you last saw- or the sky, waxen, over the Arctic? A waning night, a distant moon. The inconsequence of death- brief celestial ephemera.)

The stranger across the bar looks at you, offering nary a smile, eyes indiscernible behind shadowed sunglasses. And where you ought to find his apparent coldness disconcerting, instead you wring out of your chest with a white-knuckled caress a feeling like… comfort.

Sometimes, Bell, you go back to Berlin. You don’t quite know why.

[throwawayaccount22]

Warning!! Post contains mentions of SH, SA, and Pedophilia. Read on with caution.

(please let me know if I forgot or mislabeled the tw tags)

On November 21st, I was sent 50 pieces of hate mail in the span of 2 hours. Those gimmicks included:

Threats to dox me (6)

"Cut yourself" (4)

"Kill yourself"

Various descriptions about wanting to rape me (14)

Several drawings of me being raped

A picture of me (with a penis) being hung from a noose.

I had made my alt account to make sure I could have a small group of people to talk to as I recovered, as I don't feel I can safely talk about myself in my current friend group anymore due to someone leaking screenshots from our private server. I made sure to note on my profile for minors not to interact, as a way to ensure that I respected boundaries. I joined 2 small fandom discord servers, both with under 30 people, so I could direct my restlessness into something.

Three days after I began my new account, I was barraged with the hate mail, and was exposed on Twitter by someone who has over 2000 followers. Their followers proceeded to join in on the harassment, and within a few hours it got so bad I had to deactivate the twitter account. One person even tracked down the Discord on an alt account simply to insult and block me, which means that even if I were to change the username, they would still be able to track me down.

I had just started to feel comfortable, hopeful that I could be okay until we moved in December (my parents are waiting until after the move to look for a therapist for me).

Instead, I've ended up feeling worse than before, further paranoid, and now worried for my safety. It would not be an exaggeration that it's left me with lasting trauma. I only feel safe talking to three or four people anymore.

I don't know how anyone could see themselves as in the right here. To use a minor's experience as an excuse for you to make rape jokes is fucking disgusting. You're not standing up for them, you're being a creep. I hope whoever did this is ashamed.

As for the transphobia: you DO realize the person you're defending is genderqueer, right? So purposely misgendering me and calling me a Tr*nny really doesn't make you look any better. (Also I'm cisgender???)

Regarding the SH messages: Fuck you. Self harm isn't funny. Suicide isn't funny. Including the MINOR as part of your self harm jokes isn't funny. I have REAL FRIENDS in REAL LIFE who struggle with SH. My best friend used to struggle with SH. I've seen firsthand what it can do to a person. Those hate messages literally made me feel nauseous.

And of course, to top it all off: joking about wanting to fuck me when I was a minor. Genuinely what the hell made you think that was at all appropriate or okay in any way?? You may call me a groomer, but I'm not the one talking about raping teenagers.

I am not trying to victim blame, or justify my actions, or anything of the sort in this post. I'm simply sharing my recent experience and the apparent hypocrisy of some of these "defenders"

Below are a few of the many horrific messages I was sent. They are extremely graphic and vulgar, so PLEASE interact with caution.

[teravarna0]

What is Artists Grants by TERAVARNA - Everything You Should Know

In present times, when everything is evolving so rapidly, there are numerous ways for an artist to earn money through their art. Of course, the most common method is to sell your art but there are several other means as well that many artists are not yet aware of. One of the most underrated methods is to earn artist grants. If you are confused about the meaning of an artist grant or how it can help you as an artist, then this blog is just for you. 

As a famous online art gallery, TERAVARNA has been giving artist grants for several years in order to support artists pursue their passion. Here is everything you need to know about it. 

What is Grant for Artists?

In simple words, artist grants are a sort of prize money that is given to deserving artists, so that they can continue to follow their passion for art and are not forced to leave it due to a lack of resources or monetary support. It helps talented artists pursue their passion without having to worry about how they are going to meet their financial needs. 

Based on the organization, the amount of grant money can vary. Some galleries and museums offer hundreds of thousands for artists who create exceptional art and paintings. While the amount may be different, the purpose of offering artists grants for deserving real artworks is always the same – to support the artist. 

What is TERAVARNA’s Artist Grant and How to Apply?

TERAVARNA’s artist grant is divided into two major events of the year – the summer artist grants and the winter artist grants. Each grant pays prize money of up to $2000 to the winning art and paintings. The summer artist grant ends on 31st July whereas the winter grant ends on 31st December.

Artists are welcome to apply for any grant of their choice and as many times as they wish to. Every application costs a nominal fee of $45 that allows you to submit up to 5 artworks. If you want to increase your chances of winning, you can even make multiple submissions to show the judges your diversity in art. A higher number of submissions also shows the jury your depth, understanding of your style, and the different ways in which you can play with your techniques. Not only that, even the submission process for the grant is very simple. 

You just need to be an artist above 18 years of age and must apply with your real artwork. As soon as you visit TERAVARNA’s official website, you can find the artist grants page in the dropdown under “Call to Artists.” It will take you to the application page where you just need to pay the fees to be able to submit your best drawings and art. The winners of the grant are decided a few days after the applications close.

Why Should You Apply For TERAVARNA’S Grant for Artist 

TERAVARNA’s artist grant is a great choice for artists due to several reasons. Here are some of the top ones:

Many organizations offering artist grants give restricted cash prize money to the winners. This means you can only use your grant money for limited purposes including research, higher education in your stream of art or to fund your resources and create new pieces of art. However, TERAVARNA’s artist grant is restriction-free and you can use it in any way you deem best. You can even use it to support your personal expenses if you so desire. 

A lot of artist grants are only given to experienced artists, thus eliminating the chance of winning for new artists, but this is not the case with TERAVARNA. Their artist grant applications are open to every artist irrespective of their experience. As long as your winning artwork deserves to win, the experience doesn’t matter. 

Unlike other grants, TERAVARNA offers artists an opportunity to make as many submissions as they wish. To increase your chances of winning, you can apply multiple times by only paying $45. This lets judges see more of your works and offer a better judgment. This is not quite common and most organizations limit artists to only one or two artwork submissions, whereas TERAVARNA allows 5 artwork submissions per application. 

The grants for artists are open to any artist of any genre with any type of art and painting. You are welcome to apply irrespective of whether you are a sculptor, graphic designer, printmaker, or even installation artist or photographer. As long as you are a visual artist and submitting your real artwork, you can always apply. 

The exposure offered by TERAVARNA’s artist grant is unparalleled with any other grant. It invites artists from more than 20 countries to participate and thus it gives you an opportunity to compete with a global network of artists which is usually not seen unless it's a reputed museum. 

Takeaway

If you are still unsure about applying for this amazing artist grant opportunity then stop wasting your time and apply as fast as you can. This is once in a lifetime opportunity and you can’t miss it because winning it can help you not only win amazing cash prize money but also vast global exposure and boost your career.

[comfortlesshurt]

August 2024 Stats Update

Hoarded some more data this month, fellas! I had a few overnight trips, so there were some days I couldn't get data, but it shouldn't be a big deal. This is all for funsies.

Discussion of AO3/FFN stats under the cut if you want to avoid! If it really bothers you, block the #stats update tag.

Main goal: VLD word count greater than Spider-Man. Current progress: 48,364/100,258 (48.24%) Not too worried on this one since I have a LOT drafted that should start posting in 2025.

Time period: July 31st, 2024 to September 2nd, 2024

I missed getting data this weekend, so I went through the 2nd of September.

AO3

I broke 12k kudos near the end of the month, so that's cool to me! I missed it this month, but I'm also gunning for 250k hits.

Published word count delta: +5,287 across one new work and one existing works (basic edits on that one)

Work subscriptions delta: +4

New hits: 3,310

New kudos: 179

Comments delta: +21

Works bookmarks delta: +38

User subscriptions delta: -3 (I suspect the updates every other day for my Augusnippets fic finally scared away some Spider-Man subscribers. Sorry, old friends! Also, technically it's -4 because one of those subscriptions was my own side account to help me confirm I'm running my experiments as expected later.)

FFN

Background info: this month, FFN finally fixed its email alerts, so I was surprised to see not many people leave after getting spam updated on every fic I've posted this year.

User favs delta: +3

User alerts delta: -1

Published word count delta: +4,938 (A bit more words to add TWs to a fic, but still less because I edited an old fic on AO3 and haven't updated it on FFN yet.)

New profile views: 37

New reviews: 1

New story views: 888

C2 delta: 0

Story favs delta: +8

Story alerts delta: +3

Single-Point AO3 Data: September 1st, 2024

Newer Fic Achievements

I'm happy with all of these! I know VLD isn't super popular anymore, so it's surprising to see such good conversion rates on these. All of these are top 10% for hits/day and kudos/day, but I don't think that's significant since they're all posted so recently and the other fics are being dragged down by 2000+ days since publishing.

5 Times Lance Doesn't Matter: still holding a top 10% comment and bookmark conversion rate.

Smiling 'cause you're used to it: top 10% of comment and subs and top 10% of conversion rates for subs, comments, and bookmarks.

Chemicals, chemicals in my brain: top 10% for subs and bookmark conversion.

Nowhere to call home: top 10% of comments, top 10% for subs and comment conversion. Top 10% for number of AO3 tags used. Honorable mention for getting bookmarked multiple times and they're ALL private bookmarks. (This one is a shameful one to enjoy, apparently!)

Top 10% by...

Comments:

5 Times Peter Struggled with Spider Metabolism

Nowhere to call home

5 Times Lance Doesn't Matter

Whump Bingo

We are the reckless

None of the other stats really changed since last month, so I won't add 'em here this time!

Skipping the all-time stats as well because those don't change as much in the span of a month! I'm thinking those are more worth checking out every three months, so we'll check again at the end of October maybe.

Experimental Phase

I wanted to get some base control data before I moved on to this stage, but as of now, I've got about 90 recent days of standard data (posting as I typically would). Now, it's time to design experiments, but I'm going for a single-blind situation, so you won't see exactly what I'm testing until I'm done testing to avoid skewing results!

Overall, not a super exciting month as far as stats! But that's okay because it was a great writing month. Hopefully I'll have something more interesting to report at the next stats update!

[acwolyf]

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[scoredandstoried]

TIMELINE - OZ SAFFET

Below is an in-depth timeline of Oz Saffet's life from birth (August 28, 1982) until now (early August 2023).

Please be aware of all Trigger Warnings under the cut.

TW // Drugs, Murder, Guns, Violence, Injury

BORN: August 28, 1982

Born in Salem, MA to Levi Saffet Sr. and Nathalie Saffet, the middle child of 5. (Oswald, Silas, Karla, and Erich)

1988 - Saffet family moves to Rockport, MA for his dad's job.

1992 - Oz is 10 and pushes a kid at school down the stairs after a small disagreement. He is forced to make an apology card.

1994 -Oz is 12, gets into a fight with another kid and breaks his nose. He is suspended.

1995 - His parents enroll him in Kenpo Karate to try and give him something to focus on and a way to get out his feelings.

1998 - Oz begins taking special credit classes and AP classes to look good for colleges, which he enjoys immensely.

September 2000 - Begins classes at Northeastern with a major in Biochemistry.

Late 2001 - Attends a college party where he tries cocaine for the first time. He continues to 'socially' do drugs and drink until he graduates, though maintains his studies well.

2004 - Graduates from Northeastern University with a BS in Bio-chemistry. Takes his time to party and enjoy nightlife.

2006 - Attends New York University to begin earning a Masters in Bio-chem. He enjoys having his own lab work and projects, and learns a lot about the inventory system and ordering process for materials. Also continues clubbing on weekends.

2008 - Oz is hired by BROOKLABS, a national lab in Brooklyn.

2009 - After about a year, Oz starts noticing ways he can skim materials off the top without the budget being affected significantly. He begins stealing chemicals and supplies.

Late 2009 - Oz starts looking into the dark web and begins selling his wares on the black market.

2010 - Fudges a major inventory list and is able to steal a significant amount of product. After selling this to a Syndicate rep working within the black market, Oz begins correspondence with them.

2013 - Oz and the Syndicate representative converse about him joining the Syndicate. Oz continues working within BROOKLABS while learning inventory and selling for the Syndicate.

2015 - After leaving BROOKLABS, Oz begins learning to use guns and knives, citing his steady hands and quiet demeanor for a good reason to be added as a hitman.

Late 2015 - Oz takes care of his first hit and does impeccably.

Early 2016 - Oz's father passes.

2018 - Oz starts a long-term relationship (WC) with someone unaware of his deep connection to the Syndicate or his job as a hitman.

2020 - Oz's younger brother (WC) moves closer to NYC.

Early 2021 - The hit that goes wrong. Oz is gravely injured and in the hospital for months.

Late 2021 - After getting out of the hospital, Oz gives some info to his partner about what he does. His partner leaves him, sending him spiraling.

Early 2022 - Oz is hired by Audra to manage the Athenaeum while she's away.

Current: Oz helps crunch numbers and aid with inventory and occasionally will delve into the Black Market world again when he's needed, but ultimately mostly manages the Athenaeum. He misses his hitman days and is currently in a wheelchair, sometimes using forearm crutches as a mobility aid instead, depending on his level of comfort and energy.

[nashvillehq]

name: Cristian Rivera gender & pronouns: Cis Man | He/Him age & date of birth: 23 years old | October 31st, 2000 neighborhood: Eastside time living in nashville: 3 years occupation: Bartender, Musician signed to Anybody Records

BACKGROUND.

TW: drug use, car accident

Salinas was not the place for dreaming. Or at least that's what Cristian's father had instilled in he and his two older brothers his entire life. From the moment they were old enough to walk he had them working in his shop. He had them doing anything from simply holding the flashlight while he worked under an old clunker, to being the weights for each other as they worked to remove a tire that needed replacing. At 10 years old, when his feet could barely reach, he'd been asked to pull a bike around that was almost half his size, that would have completely fallen over on top of him had it not been for a quick save from his brother. The shop had originally belonged to their great grandfather and had been passed down through generations. It did well enough, put food on the table, kept clothes on their back, fulfilled the familial expectation, but it didn't take much to realize that no one there really loved what they were doing. But it'd been engrained in them since childhood so why complain?

Frankly, Cristian was surprised what happened to him hadn't occurred earlier. He'd known from a young age that his siblings would drink or smoke pot to dull the bordeom that came with the job. Or in his own case to try and deal with the reality that a job at the auto shop was all that was in store for him. Sure his family had tried to "spice" things up, by letting each brother take part in various aspects of the buisness but as far as he was concerned it all amounted to the same thing. Something he wanted nothing to do with.

But his father wasn't the kind of person you say no to, so he turned to drugs. The simple stuff at first. Just enough to get through each day, but that shifted when an accident left his father incapable of working or doing much of anything for 6 months. A miserable time that he looks back on when he thinks of how unbarably demanding the man was. But a gold mine when it came to the amount of medication it funneled into their household. Medication, that was far from missed once his dad was back on his feet. It didn't take long for the dabbling to start once his father returned and doubled down on his expectation of their work ethic. He demaned that Cristian drop out of every extracurricular he'd been participating in to increase the amount of time and effort he put into bettering the business.

Unforutnately Cristian was only able to grin and bear it for so long. Looking back it was hard to identify what set him off, but whatever it was, was enough. He dove deep into his fathers medicine cabinet, washed down whatever sounded appealing with a 6 pack of corona, and ended up taking a joy ride on one of the $50,000 vehicles that his father had been fixing up for a high end client. How Cristian got off is still a bit of a mystery to him, but the last thing he recalled was his brother pulling him out of the car and waking up however long later in a hospital bed.

It was the kind of incident that he expected a stern punishment for, likely resulting in signing his life away to work for his father in order to pay him back but what happened instead astounded him. His mother made the demand that he be sent to live with his uncle out in Tennessee. She claimed that her brother would be able to both "straighten him out" and give him time away from the job that she believed almost cost her, her youngest son. His father agreed under one circumstance. If he did not make something of himself in the next 5 years, he would be expected to come back and spend the rest of his life running the shop.

Upon his move to Nashville, Cristian began working diligently on a plan to ensure he never had to go back to Salinas. He picked up singing and song writing, a hobby he'd been forced to drop while living back home, he'd allowed his uncle to teach him guitar, and eventually got a job working the bar at Game Terminal (although as far as his uncle's concerned he just hands out the tokens and cleans the machines). Cristian found success within his first two years in signing with Anybody Records, but has yet to release anything of his own. He's well aware time is running out, but trying to make it big in a town like Nashville is definitely harder than he ever thought it was going to be.

[best-earbuds-in-india]

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Best Gaming Earbuds Under 2000: Are You looking for top earbuds under 2000 or Gaming Earbuds under 2000? If Yes then Welcome to BLOGIABS. Here we can share a Collection of the best Airpods Under 2000 which are best for Gaming and also included RGB Lights which can give a Premium Look, Attractive Design, and best Sound Quality.

These Gaming Earbuds have Special Features of RGB Lights, Low latency, Good Battery Life, and a Perfect Design. Which of these TWS earbuds will be perfect for Gaming?

If you are looking to save some cash, take a look at Best Earbuds Under 1000, In this Guide best gaming TWS under 2000, we will find out.

[ekkodigital14]

The best headphones for you?

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Whenever you go into the market Choose your wireless headphones intelligently whether you're playing a game or listening to music. To prevent lag while gaming, make sure your earbuds have low latency.

Nonetheless, active noise cancellation is necessary when listening to music because whenever we go outside there is a huge noise and we want to enjoy our favourite music without any irritating noise. Use ambient noise cancellation if money is tight. You can easily find the best Bluetooth headphones under Rs 2000 in India that stand out from the competition because of their excellent sound and portability. Untangling your headphones so you can listen to your favourite music has never been simpler. But that's no longer the case, due to wireless Bluetooth headphones. Undoubtedly, the discovery of wireless headphones ranks among the most significant in human history. Bluetooth headphones are now selling much better. As a result, you can find several of the top Bluetooth headphones in India for less than Rs. 2,000. Be at ease, though! We are prepared to assist you. Start the party now!

EKKO Digital Ekko delivers premium and reasonably priced goods as the most well-known manufacturer of portable audio equipment in the nation.