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mytardisisparked · 4 years ago

Note

Sir dude, if it would please your dudeness, I think you should write a fic set in a world where family members are tied together by an invisible string, and Obi-Wan somehow manages to catch a glimpse of the string through the force, connecting him to... Korkie. Que the realization that Korkie is actually his son and that Satine hid the truth from him

Before I start with the fic, I just wanna say that this is, without a doubt, the funniest way anyone has addressed me ever and I am now making my roommates call me “Sir Dude” and “Your Dudeness.” God bless you, Anon.

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They were only visible during the deepest meditation, the Familial Strings. When a Jedi dipped into the Force completely, the usually invisible strings connecting family members shone a bright gold, creating a beautiful, confusing tangle of lives, loves, and loyalty.

Familial Strings were quite literal, usually, only showing connections between blood family or marriages. Occasionally, the Force would deem two people who were not of a romantic entanglement close enough to qualify a Familial String, but they usually only indicated a bond through blood.

Obi-Wan, like most Jedi, didn’t dwell on his Familial Strings; he knew they were there, leading back to Stewjon, but he tried not to study them often to avoid the temptation of reaching out to the parents he had never known. As one who secretly struggled with attachments, thinking too much about a family he had never know would be a very dangerous thing.

All that being said, Obi-Wan was aware of the number of strings he had (5) and the fact that two of those strings had been created after he had begun his apprenticeship, shortly after his first long-term mission with his master. He had been puzzled by their arrival, but he had quickly pushed his ponderings aside and chosen to assume that his birth parents must have given birth to twins.

Now, sitting rigid with a pit in his stomach in his temporary quarters on Mandalore, he was coming to the realization that that assumption was very, very wrong.

One Familial String led from Obi-Wan’s chest right out the door and across the hall to Duchess Satine’s room. This revelation had been surprising enough; Obi-Wan loved Satine far more than he had ever cared to admit, but the fact that the Force had deemed them close enough and in love enough to connect them by a string wasn’t something Obi-Wan had ever considered.

Even more curious, however, was the second string that deviated from the bundle aimed at Stewjon, directed to the room to his left. At the risk of breaking the meditation he needed to see the strings, Obi-Wan slowly stood and moved out into the hallway, watching that second string pivot around his heart so that it remained connected with the individual in the room next to his.

He swallowed as he looked at the door to that room, the room of Prince Korkie Kryze, Satine’s nephew.

Without another thought, Obi-Wan spun around and knocked on Satine’s door, knowing he was breaking every rule of propriety. She opened the door after the second knock, as if she had been waiting for him.

As the door swung open, Obi-Wan was faintly aware of the fact that Satine looked absolutely ethereal in the moonlight streaming through her window, her hair brushing the tops of her shoulders and her pale skin glowing. This, however, he pushed aside quickly as the contents of his stomach churned at the realization from moments before.

“Obi-Wan?” Her voice was soft and concerned.

“Satine.” His voice was harder than he intended for it to sound. “I believe we need to talk.”

Without another word, she stepped aside and invited him into her quarters.

The room, which was comfortably furnished and separated from her actual sleeping quarters by a wall and double doors. She led him over to the settee, choosing to sit across from him in an armchair, her face wary.

He fingered the edge of his robe, choosing his words carefully. “I was meditating this evening when I noticed something interesting about my Familial Lines.”

Satine’s face remained passive, but something shifted in her eyes. “Oh.”

“I never realized it before, but one of my lines is connected to you. I had two lines appear after our year together and I should have guessed that one line was yours but I never gave it much thought.” He swallowed and looked up at Satine, her face still carved of stone, though her eyes were glassy. For reasons he couldn’t quite explain, Obi-Wan suddenly felt very small. “But that second line-” he stopped and took a breath, finding his chest quite tight, “maybe you can explain why I have a Familial Line connected to Korkie.”

A tear spilled over Satine’s eye, quickly swiped away by a finger. “I think you know why, my dear.”

Obi-Wan’s vision blurred as tears began to collect in his own eyes. “He’s my son?”

Her lip quivered as she nodded, wiping another tear.

He let out a breath, his chest constricting more. “How could you not tell me?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

Despite her tears, Satine’s face suddenly hardened. “How could I have told you?” She stood and turned toward the windows. “You, who were so nobly pursuing the life of a Jedi-”

“I would have left the Jedi. I was prepared to leave for you.”

She turned back to him. “Which is exactly why I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t tear you away from your dream.”

“Maybe you were my dream.”

She looked shocked for a moment, but the expression was gone from her face as quickly as it had come. “Be that as it may, I also had to think of Korkie. He is the future Duke of Mandalore and having a Jedi father would have lost his respect in the eyes of his people. He would have had to work harder to gain their trust and even then his Jedi heritage would have been thrown in his face by those who would oppose him at every turn.”

Obi-Wan felt a sharp jolt of offense. “That’s a rather cold and calculating line of thought,” he said, voice low.

Satine’s brows furrowed. “Oh, as if the Jedi tradition of tearing children from their families, never to know them or be loved by them is any warmer.”

“At least the parents of our younglings have the knowledge that their children exist and are being raised by those who will provide them with the care and nurturing that they need to-”

“Do you mean to imply that I didn’t raise our son with care and nurturing love?” She snapped.

Obi-Wan’s heart fell as he realized the implications of his words. “Forgive me, that is not what I meant to imply. I didn’t think.”

Satine rubbed her eyes, suddenly looking exhausted. “I know, Obi. I just...” She slid back into her chair, shoulders slumped.

They were silent for a while, each processing their thoughts.

“What is he like?”

Satine looked up at the Jedi, elbows leaning on his knees and ginger fringe falling in his eyes. “I beg your pardon?”

Obi-Wan met her eye. “Korkie - what is he like?”

Despite everything that had happened in the last ten minutes, Satine’s heart warmed a bit in pride. “He’s incredibly smart.” She smiled softly. “Smarter than either of us, I think. And an excellent negotiator; he’s done a great deal in terms of welcoming new systems into the Alliance these last few years. Although,” she smirked, “he knows how to land an elegant insult when needed. He nearly got himself thrown from the academy for implying that his science teacher had inhaled the fumes of too many chemicals.”

Obi-Wan smiled at that. “I wonder who he inherited that trait from.”

“Definitely not me,” Satine sniffed, barely holding back a smile.

Another moment of slience.

“Does he know about us?”

She took a breath. “He knows I am his mother, but I never told him your name, just stories of you and our time together.”

“Do you ever plan to tell him?”

“I-” She sighed. “I don’t know. I think the two of you would get along splendidly but I also want to provide him plausible deniability in case someone were to figure out that I am not his aunt. There are already rumors of the matter and I fear what might happen if Mandalore were to fall into the wrong hands.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “I can see the logic of that.”

“Do you want me to tell him?” she asked tentatively.

He thought for a moment. “What I want is for us to turn back time and be a family together from the start. But, seeing as that isn’t possible, maybe could I get to know Korkie a bit? He doesn’t need to know who I am, but perhaps I could spend some time with him and get to know my son?”

Satine smiled. “I think that would be good.”

“Good.” Obi-Wan smiled back. “Thank you, Satine.”

She took his hand. “And thank you, Obi-Wan. Korkie has been the best part of my life since we said goodbye and, although our situation isn’t ideal, he is the greatest gift.”

He squeezed her hand. “He looks a bit like me, doesn’t he?”

She laughed. “We will have to be careful about having you two stand next to each other; you have the same jawline.”

“He can never grow a beard.”

“He might have to dye his hair when he gets a little older.”

They chuckled.

“If you would like, I could host a breakfast tomorrow, just for the three of us.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “I would like that very much.”

#Obitine #Obi-Wan #Satine Kryze #Korkie is a Kenobi #Star Wars #TheClone Wars #Fanfic #THIS IS AN AU I CAN REALLY GET BEHIND GREAT IDEA ANON #VERY CREATIVE

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keepyourpantsongohan · 4 years ago

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Ayesha Liveblogs Death Note

I’m watching this show specifically because of that text post that said, “Watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever” and he has killed two people in the first ten minutes

Though 2 be fair he’s killing people to save people so it’s a trolley problem kind of thing for now

“In fact I’ve been waiting for you... Ryuk” ok weird flex Light but u do u

“You’re the first one to use to this extent in five days” WAIT DID HE MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT A LIST OH MY GOD??

“So there isn’t a price to using Death Note?” said Light, as if killing people is just a normal thing that we all do

Fhkjfhfkjb Ryuk really went ‘u used the book so we’re friends now’

I was wondering why the book was in English, and I guess that makes sense British and American imperialism really Did That

“I can write down the names of criminals, and slowly reduce the number of evil people” uhhhh doesn’t u being a Book Murderer also make you a criminal Light

“Human lives shouldn’t be taken so lightly” bah dum tss

Also I guess that revelation lasted about thirty seconds for you huh

Update from 15 seconds later: Even less than that

“I would create a world of earnest, kind humans” really because I don’t think places that allow the death penalty are generally nicer societies

It’s interesting that they use English in the classes and the notebook but the conversation at Interpol takes place in Japanese (despite the implied internationality and Ryuk’s aforementioned claim about English being most common)

Huh I won’t lie I do think it’s confusing that the main characters are L and Light, which also starts with L

“I am justice” I mean if anything this show just proves that no one should be allowed to use the death penalty on apprehended suspects in criminal justice cases ever

OH SHIT PLOT TWIST HIS DAD’S A COP (IT WAS IN THE TEXT POST I THINK BUT I FORGOT)

Wow this show is full of mind games already I guess I can see why like, crime show fans would dig it

“But I’m going to say this as your roommate” OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES KJHRGKJHKJHG

Interesting that someone is following Light specifically already

I mean not to poke too many holes in your plan Light but wouldn’t it clash with your plan to become God if you die at like 35 or smth

“You’re already much more of a shinigami than they are” Ryuk said my friends are BORING I want to hang out with this MURDER TEEN

“I may not look it, but I’m pretty popular” Light is exactly the kind of guy who ends up in a true crime special where a bunch of people say he seemed like a nice, charismatic young man

Man this poor girl that Light brought on this date is going to be straight traumatized after this

I mean isn’t it MORE suspicious if someone dies around someone with direct ties to the police even if it’s not a heart attack

“You were indeed a brilliant FBI agent once, but now you’re my fiancée” kjhfkjhg WHAT FBI AGENTS CAN’T BE MARRIED

“Once we have a family, you’ll be so busy that you’ll forget that you were an agent” I’m not a fan of Raye Penber

What’s the point in killing Raye at all???? He told you he was part of a special investigation so clearly he’s not that suspicious of you

Light sure is bold to announce his Killing People Experiments in the middle of a busy sidewalk

Incredible that consistently no one notices Light’s increasingly threatening declarations????

Fjkfkfhk these five cops finding out their Hail Mary is this strange little goblin man,,,, wow

This woman has really pushed Light to the brink just by giving a fake name, I admire her tenacity

Cops wearing fake IDs really did not age well oh boy

SERIOUSLY HOW DOES NO ONE EVER HEAR LIGHT SAYING SUSPICIOUS THINGS IN PUBLIC THOROUGHFARES HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I AM KIRA” AS A DETECTIVE WALKED BY, WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE HE KILLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER

Wow it really took only eight episodes for L to track Light as close as one of two families

“You have a wife and daughter, right?” “I know!” I mean..... not 2 be that guy but... cops

“To me, apples are like... Well, like cigarettes and liquor to humans” Vcvhcjhj every once in a while Ryuk says something that really tickles me

I know the word sociopath is kind of outdated but man does Light have actual interests outside of school or does he just do stuff to fill the void of his lack of interests (outside of murder)

JKHGKJHGKJHKJHG I cannot believe that this has turned into a fake classmate situation first of all 1) are you going to become friends and 2) How old are you Ryuzaki/L?

“Where is that rich kid from? And he’s even at the top of his class? What a jerk” honestly a mood

I DESPERATELY want Light’s mother or sister to overhear his evil cackling will someone finally eavesdrop on this god complex

“If I sit normally, my reasoning skills drop by 40%” weird flex but same

Sidenote: I can’t believe how many episodes of this show I already have watched

Ngl I was VERY shook that Mr. Yagami had a heart attack. Also does Light care if his family lives or dies or is he kind of neutral on the subject?

“If Kira is an ordinary person who gained this power, then he is a very unlucky person” Dad and L said ‘if u ARE Kira could you please stop murdering thank you <3′

Light really underestimated how much cops hate anyone who has killed a cop oops

OH SO IT’S NOT LIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHY HE HAD NOT MADE AN APPEARANCE THIS WHOLE EPISODE U MEAN THERE ARE TWO GUYS WITH THIS EXACT SAME IDEOLOGY AND PLAN? INCREDIBLE

Update from ten seconds later: Two people, I guess

Well this explains the girl in the short dress which serves as the Netflix thumbnail of this show I was wondering when she would show up

Also she sounds like she’s very young? Clearly Shinigami don’t have a minimum age of informed consent when it comes to their Murder Eyes Contract

Hahah I bet Light didn’t imagine that his petty and fucked up apple joke would bite him so quickly in the ass

Dhkjdhdkjhd Misa is so bold dropping her Death God deets in a video for anyone to see

“The way to kill a Shinigami, is to make them fall in love with a human” does this mean that Ryuk is going to fall in love with Light or Misa? Both would make me uncomfortable

Oh wild guess Misa became a Death Note Wielder through the Power of Unreciprocated Voyeuristic Love

“Yeah, I have a girlfriend now,” said Light, after a girl contacted him through a series of anonymous video tapes implicitly vowing to be his disciple

“No one could tell who he’s attached to if I’m with this many people” [20 seconds pass] “Found him!” HAHAHA the funniest part of this show is consistently watch Light going “got ‘em” before it immediately is revealed that he doesn’t got ‘em

Why is Light so incredibly searchable??? I think the only way people people could find my height online is if I happened to answer it for one of those Facebook note memes in 2007 lmaoooo

“There are many places that will go and sell your personal records” ah, data breaches; a problem that has not gotten any better in the last 15 years since this anime came out

HKJHFHKJFHF Light immediately jumping into fake-dating his weird disciple in front of his mom... what is this show

“Please make me your girlfriend” OH MY GOOOOOD

This is one of the weirdest romantic dynamics I’ve seen in recent memory but you know what? Whatever, at least it’s not Anxiety and Murder

“Does that mean I’ll have to deal with her until she dies?” Light is truly exuding some Ladybird Book of Dating Energy rn:

The fact that to kill L all Light had to do was get an obsessive girlfriend... astounding

Beautiful that it took Misa less than a week of knowing Light to ruin his whole 15 episode game plan and also life

“I think I may be Kira” Well this show keeps taking one escalation after another this is exhausting why can’t Light just be a normal person who found it, tried it out of interest in the occult, discovered he’d committed a horrible atrocity and then went to therapy for the rest of his life only to confess to Magical Murder on his deathbed while his family goes, ‘Wow, Grandpa’s crazy’

Does L not think that keeping three different people imprisoned for days on end will lead to some psychological repercussions for him

FOR WEEKS ON END????? OH MY GOD???? The fuck L, I know two of these people are murderers but there are some minimum conditions of correctional facilities and this seems a little Stanford PE

THE DRAMA OF THIS EPISODE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A BLANK BUT HOW FUCKED UP TO PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS L I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!!! I MEAN LIGHT AND MISA ARE MURDERERS BUT FORCING A MAN TO HOLD HIS SON AT GUNPOINT AFTER IMPRISONING THEM FOR OVER A MONTH IS REALLY A REFLECTION OF A COMPLETE LACK OF EMPATHY (especially when you think that this version of Misa and Light don’t know anything!!! Oh my god!! The fuck)

“I will make arrangements so you and I are together 24 hours a day” call me crazy but I would not want to spend 24/7 with the man who imprisoned me for over a month while playing cruel psychological games all the while

“I’m one of those people who’ll accept Kira, I’d think of ways I could help him” Misa said Bimbo Rights

“I could never toy with a woman’s emotions like that” Light’s dating life and personality has gotten a LOT funnier since he forgot he was a murderer I kind of wish THIS could be the whole show

Also: Nice to know Light USED to have standards of how to treat women

Honestly fair play to both L and Light they both deserved to be punched and it’s funny to see eighteen episodes of mind games culminate in punching and kicking each other in the face

“Matsuda’s being an idiot again” “Well, Matsuda is a natural at that” wghkjhgkj what has Matsuda done to any of you

"He’s punishing criminals as a front, and killing people for the benefit of this company” is Light unknowingly going to solve the murder chain he himself started... inspiring

“I was testing you” this is why Light is your only friend, L, Aizawa has kids and it’s a dick move to ask him to put his convictions before them

Poor Matsuda realizing he’s got the least to offer to their team... me in high school science labs

I understand Aizawa’s moral crisis but why do NONE of these cops care about their wives or daughters they’re just kind of like, ‘I will provide for you but I have no interest in or fulfillment from being part of your life’ (ACAB)

Matsuda is truly about to die for being dumb and eager to help 😔 Rest in Pieces

“We must not allow Yotsuba to figure out that we are investigating them,” said L, just after it cut from Matsuda being obvious about investigating them. Oh Matsuda 😔 you’re so bad at your job 😔

MATSUDAAAAAAAA oh thank goodness; Bimbo Rights save the day

“I can’t go along with your idea, it’s wrong!” said Light, despite the fact it took him 15 seconds to get over murder the first couple of times he did it

Staaaaaaaaay Good Light, I don’t want ur Deathnotesona I want this young man with moral convictions!!

The level of hubris it takes to answer a phone call during your secret Murder Meeting while people continue to talk about their Murder Plans is just out of this world

“If I die, you could probably become the successor to the ‘L‘ name,” said L, to the person he has been trying to catch for twenty episodes

“I won’t say anything under any kind of torture” “Yes that’s true” Which he knows because he tortured her for six weeks!! You see that that’s fucked up, L, right? RIGHT??? RIIIIIIIIGHT? (LIIIIIIIGHT???)

Seriously not to beat a dead Shinigami but Light is so much better like this. He doesn’t want to throw people’s lives away for the investigation! He wants to protect Misa! He thinks Kira is wrong! Why does he have to be a murderer!!! Why can’t this show be about a nice young man!!!!

“Hey Ryuzaki, that’s messed up!” THANK YOU LIGHT AGAIN I KNOW YOU BOTH HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SO FOR ALL MISA KNOWS HE’S JUST A GUY WHO TORTURES HER AND TELLS HER CRUSH WILL DIE IF SHE DOESN’T HELP

Wow Rem is so ride or die for Misa protecting Misa from creepy Higuchi, giving her info and telling her to trust Light, that’s love bitch

Props to Misa for getting a confession out of Higuchi after one (1) car ride

Why do I feel like L is going to be responsible for reawakening Bad Light is it because he psychologically tortured him for six weeks? Had his dad hold him at gunpoint? Forced Misa to investigate on his behalf? Constantly and unerringly presses him on what Kira would be thinking as he’s handcuffed to him 24 hours a day? Maybe!! This is like Build-a-Bear but he’s customizing his Teen Murder Friend

“Only Mr. Matsuda can do [the mission to lure out Higuchi!Kira]” Death Note really said the Himbos, Herbos and Thembos shall inherit the Earth

They keep saying they don’t know how he kills but it seems pretty obvious that he writes down their names to kill, they literally saw him do it

I really don’t want any of the investigation team to die but things are not looking hot :(

“Ryuzaki, I never knew you could fly a helicopter” “It’s just intuition” what does that MEAN

“Those aren’t allowed in Japan,” said Light, about a gun, as if he had not killed probably thousands of people without one

In spite of this fact I really do want Good Light to stay 😔 Why! Can’t! This! Show! Be! About! A! Nice! Young! Man!

Also they really are playing into this father-and-son duo I will be very sad when the dad inevitably dies as I’m sure he will

Family side note: I’ve been wondering this since the prison ep but where do Light’s mom and sister think he IS now that he’s dropped out of first year uni to be a teen criminal investigator handcuffed to a maladjusted homebody private eye

AIZAWAAA and also the other two guys I guess there was a plot relevant reason for him to rejoin the police huh

Well what a clean ending to this Kira arc. No one died and the killer was caught! Yikes that the next ep is called ‘Revival’ tho 😔 Rest in pieces Good Light

Also a new and very threatening intro???? What happened to the Twilight Apple Hands

BOOOO I knew Light would get his memory back but I was hoping it would at least fuck him up for a while he sorted out his two personas but I guess all roads eventually lead to Bad Light

Full disclosure I stopped watching for a few days just after Light got his memory back and let me tell u coming back later hasn’t made it any more tolerable I am truly not built for this EUGH

“Do you really want to halve your life a second time” “Well, that can’t be helped” REALLY???? CAN’T IT BE HELPED MISA??? WHY ARE YOU AND LIGHT SO CRAZY

Oh I guess we’re back to Light saying incredibly suspicious things right near the investigators lmao what if those cameras secretly had audio or you know, L simply knew how to read lips

“Misa, let’s make a new world together” Remember a bunch of episodes ago when Good Light was all ‘I could never toy with a woman’s emotions’?? What was the reason!!!

“Have you ever told the truth at any point in your entire life” L cutting straight to the core lmao (also the answer is obviously ‘no’)

This show has taken a jarring tonal shift why are they having a post-rain-confrontation massage and towelling each other off this is a level of intimacy I was not prepared for I NEED PEOPLE TOOK LOOK AT THIS:

OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THAT IT WAS PROBABLY NOT THEIR INTENTION BUT THE ONLY WAY I CAN READ THIS SCENE IS AS “Don’t kill me Light~ 🥰 I’ll fuck you~ 🥰”

I guess L knew he was forcing Rem’s hand to kill him if he disproved the rules written in the book?? But to what end omg how does this help anyone

“In April 2012, Light Yagami, age 23, joins the National Police Agency” should’ve known we’d land here eventually (ACAB)

Ah, I see another person who doesn’t know how to sit, clearly they will inherit the L title next lmao

Update from the first few mins of the next ep: “Near should succeed L” told you

“There’s no way I’m letting Sayu marry a detective” ahjfkhkjf he’s a little old for her I think but it wouldn’t be the worst thing this show has done romantically lmao; maybe Sayu would get to investigate her brother

“I might’ve considered going out with you, if you were a little younger” HA GOOD FOR HER

“[...] the Japanese police are unreliable. In order to solve this case, we want you to hand over the notebook to our country.” Of all the Japanese-speaking Americans in this show, this is the most accurate jkhfkhf the US government really is Like That

Ah, so that’s where Mello’s gone, oh how the turn tables

Also way to sell your subordinates out immediately, NPA Director, will you give them the Kira task force’s home addresses too

The real question is if Light actually cares about his sister enough to prioritize her over the notebook

“Call me... N” Oh my good L... M(ello)... N(ear)... Oooooooooooooooo

It’s my saving grace that I only need to get through 9 more eps but as always I must wonder where this is going will Light just die and end up in Shinigami purgatory while the people who knew him after the fact go, ‘hey, that guy was fucked up’

“If things get bad, I’ll have to kill Sayu” well I guess that answers that question, my expectations of Light are so low and yet he continues to find new ways to be awful

Good for Mr. Yagami and Sayu for getting out of that alive I guess but hoo boy I think this is going to have some psychological repercussions for both of them

Uh oh this episode is called ‘Father’ I’ve been dreading this one bc I think that means Mr. Yagami is about to die 😭😭😭

“It was an institution for brilliant children, to raise them to become L‘s successor” okay calm down Professor Xatari that’s not what children are for lmao

Well I guess it’s a lot easier to track down info about these two guys than it was to figure out L lmao

HAHAHA Sidoh haunting Ryuk to ask for his stuff is a fun addition to this madness

“He’s scary for a human” jkhhfjh how unhinged does Mello have to be to threaten a literal Shinigami

I truly don’t understand the logistics of how they revealed Ryuk to the police force isn’t the second Kira notebook supposed to belong to Actual Kira, in the police force’s eyes????? I do not understand how Light can just turn up with another notebook and everyone’s like ‘sure cool’ did I miss something

Mr. Yagami killed for being unable to take human life ugh this is the worst

“You’re not Kira. I’m really glad.” WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SAD MR. YAGAMI NOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S WHY HE RENOUNCED OWNERSHIP OF THE NOTEBOOK

Neither Mello nor Near seem overly concerned with the lives of people around them does being a Super Genius Investigator also mean you have to be a dick (is this Benadryl Coddleswab Sherlock syndrome)

Lmaooo genuinely love how it’s constantly apparent that Light is the least smart of all of the smart people Light spent five years working on his reputation and it took Near one (1) phone call to destroy it

Ghjkhgkhgkgjh Light outsmarted by Near yet again never think people will prioritize principles over money

Lol yeah Aizawa needn’t have given a name after he said the “Deputy Director Yagami would kill Kira and then himself” thing, you don’t do that just for anyone who was he fooling

How does Light keep track of all the renunciations and notebooks bc I certainly can’t

Ffhkfjhfj Mikami truly looks like the son of L and Light it’s like Light missed him and was like, “Miss u boo :( (even tho I kinda killed u) I’ll adopt An Evil 27-year-old in ur honour :)”

Is Mikami’s story really, ‘I got bullied in high school and have mommy issues so now I think people I don’t like should die’ ok Shonen Snape

“I just want you to meet with me and hear me out” Light really proving to Aizawa that he can lie AND manipulate people’s feelings

“The truth is, she’s not smart enough to be my partner” first of all Light I think this show has proven you’re not that smart, and Misa’s Herbo Energy is effervescent and will outlast you, and third of all go to jail

“He’ll look suspicious if he doesn’t say something soon” “Ide, have you ever been in love” Matsuda continues to be the only good part of this show

“You’re the only man I’ve ever respected and admired in my life” GET SOME THERAPY KIYOMI

“You’re going to be the goddess of the new world” so it’s not enough for Light to be a murderer he must also be a cheater

Lmao Near’s powers of perception do seem a little B/BC S/herlock because L tried for literally months to work out the possibilities and Near is just like ‘I KNOW IT NOW’

“The only thing I can deduce from this is that Light Yagami is popular with the ladies” HEAVEN KNOWS WHY (PUN NOT INTENDED)

Every moment Aizawa gets closer to proving Light is Kira is another step closer to death 😔

“This is definitely Mikami’s handwriting” Not to be a know-it-all, Near, but handwriting analysis has been proven faulty many times in multiple courts of law

This truly is a game of Cat and Cat. All these hidden plans give me a headache fkjhkfjh call me Misa-Misa and spin me sideways I don’t have the braincells to spare

Well this is definitely some kind of s*xual assault absolutely fucking hate it wow this show truly just drains the life out of you

“Matt, I never thought you would be killed” why wouldn’t you think that at this point anyone who comes close to this investigation eventually dies (also wjkhkjhgk why is Matt special didn’t you kill all those thugs you had before -- Mello said ‘the lives of my allies are only important if they are drawn in handsome protag style’)

As of yet I haven’t really talked about Near’s wild toymaking but hoo boy is that L finger puppet something to observe

“Everyone who knows about the existence of the notebook will die” I’m still pulling for their survival, particularly Matsuda (himbo rights!!!)

Imagine if they just shot Light Yagami on sight how ironic would that conclusion to all these mind games be

“I’m waiting, for the one who will solve everything, to arrive” Lmao if it turns out L is alive I’ll pee laughing this show is so fucking stupid

Take a shot every time there is a Humpty-Dumpty-in-Puss-in-Boots style explanation about how everything actually happened

“I’ve won, Near” I bet/hope what gets Light caught is his inability to hold in his hubris for one (1) minute

Although the last episode is called New World, in which case maybe he wins in a very weird ending to a very weird show

Sjkfhkjhfkhfkjhf well I guess what gets Light caught is that the person he invited to be his murderous disciple keeps calling him God

“A second ago, you said ‘I win.’ That’s as good a confession as any” HA hubris strikes again also bold of Aizawa to clap Light on the shoulder knowing he is a mass murderer

Ohhh Matsuda he’s so nice and believed the best of Light :((((((((((((

Watching Light become increasingly desperate and crazed is very uncomfortable give it up dude u’ve been beat (though I suppose there is time for everyone here to be murdered still lmao)

LMAO LIGHT SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, CONVERT ‘EM”

Yeah I figured if one of them was gonna shoot it would be Matsuda :( :( Good for him for not killing Light tho!!

Huh I guess that’s the end of the show I thought Light would die but I did think we’d at least get to see him in Shinigami Purgatory or smth... what a wild ride. This certainly was a show.

#ayesha talks anime #ayesha liveblogs dn #liveblogging #long post #sorry for any dn fans who stumble across this lmao i don't have the constitution for it

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yurimother · 6 years ago

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Top Yuri Anime Poll Results

Whether it is subtext or explicit, cute or sexy, school love or gay action thrillers I love yuri anime. These series either focus on or contain elements of female same-sex relationships. Pride month is the perfect time to look back and reflect on the best of this genre. I teamed up with OG Man of The Yuri Nation (yurination[dot] wordpress[dot] com/) and together we put out a poll asking what you thought the top yuri anime series were and over 1000 of you responded submitting almost 5000 different entries. We spent hours combing through the data, analyzing and commenting on the results and we would like to share our thoughts with all of you. Enjoy the reflections of me the yuri critic and OG the dedicated yuri fan!

These are the Top 20 Yuri Anime as voted by you

1. Bloom Into You - 692 Votes

OG: Be it East or West the YagaKimi took the world by storm. Citrus and BiY once again taking the top two spots remains unsurprising.There is something undeniably fascinating about our leading ladies consisting of an asexual slowly coming to love her senpai back but restraining herself for various reasons. The biggest one being said senpai having a deep case of self-loathing and a fear of romantic reciprocation, also for various reasons. She is like “I love you but please do not love me back”. Then there is one of the most popular “cursed” lesbians of all time in Sayaka, the fantastic adult side-couple (The world needs an anime starring lesbian adults/mothers) and the various other characters who have their own interesting tales to tell. The series absolutely deserves a spot in the Top 10 though it would not be in my personal Top 3. Oh and as Yurimother said the presentation was fantastic.Visually stunning from start to finish in my opinion. Special mention goes to the criminally underused first-person “camera”. So cool.

YuriMother: I agree with this series deserving a spot in the top ten even if not the number one slot. For me, it was good but not great. Moments such as the aforementioned adult couple as well as stellar art and a phenomenal score made this series enjoyable but they were not enough to overshine the problems of the narrative. For the love of the Yuri Goddess, this series is crying out for asexual representation but insists on carrying on with its confused romance. Enough complaining though, many people love Bloom Into You despite its faults and I agree. The characters are interesting and lovable and it manages to tell a yuri story more real and complex than the typical fluffy girl meets girl narratives.

2. Citrus - 452 Votes

YuriMother: The presence of Citrus and Bloom Into You prove two things to me, the importance of recency, as both anime aired only last year, and the sheer popularity of these series. Both had established and extremely successful manga runs which were adapted into English by the publishing masters of yuri, Seven Seas. Citrus is a contentious series, to say the least, as it includes elements of (non-blood related) incest and non-consensual actions as part of Mei and Yuzu’s “relationship.” However, if you possess the magical power to turn off the part of your brain screaming at you that those aspects are deeply problematic or if you seek a different interpretation then Citrus can be downright WONDERFUL. I actually loved this anime series for its characters, amazing animation, and salaciousness. As OG said, it is an operatic concussion of emotion (seriously everyone in the series needs therapy) but my is it fun to watch. The Citrus anime also holds a special place in my heart, as the first serious piece I ever wrote was a review for it over on Okazu (nice plug)! Citrus is certainly not for everyone but those that stuck with it and overlooked some of the problems ended up loving it.

OG: Here we are again with Citrus at #2. My thoughts on the series remains the same as in the previous two lists I discussed (the Akiba Research and goo Ranking Japan lists), overrated. Good soap opera/telenovela-esque series but my feelings on the cast are mixed (which I imagine was the writer’s intent). My main issue has always been the obstacles repeatedly challenging Yuzu and Mei’s feelings for each other instead of it focusing on “Hey. We like each other but our parents got married. What do we do? Can we keep our desires for each other in check?”. Instead it is one newcomer after another who want to eat either Yuzu or Mei and Yuzu repeatedly asking herself if she really wants robo-stepsister patties? I will give the anime adaptation credit. The story was easier to enjoy animated than drawn. It also helped that I grew up in a telenovela loving family. The characters’ actions, reactions and emotions were depicted better in the anime. I still consider the show’s greatest accomplishment being the humanization of Mei-Tron. In the manga it took a post-epilogue continuation to show readers “Hey everyone. Mei-Tron was human all along.” whereas in the anime I sensed the small bit of humanity quicker than in the manga where I continued seeing her as a block of wood with a brain up to the point where I dropped it. Harumin though is the greatest regardless of anime or manga adaptation. Bless her. Regardless of how I feel about the series I get its massive popularity. After all, were the rest of the story to get an animated continuation I would gladly pick it up...Not the manga though.

3. Sakura Trick - 342 Votes

OG: There are fans who understandably would disagree with Sakura Trick’s praise but I will always defend it and the anime as one of the very best in the genre. First off it aired at a time where animated on-screen close up kisses (specifically consensual ones) between ladies were rare. Haruka X Yuu’s relationship was believable for the most part. Even their season finale resolution, them not getting what being “in love” meant at the time, made sense though I get why it left some scratching their heads. Probably not the best “manga lure/bait” end I suppose. On the bright side Kotone X Shizuku’s story definitely did not have the two doubting their true feelings for each other. I do hope Kaede X Yuzu eventually hooked up in the manga as they too had potential to be a lovely couple.

YuriMother: Sakura Trick has no real narrative, no great insight, and offers little intellectually. As a teacher, it makes me furious, as a fan of yuri, elated. The anime is beloved for its plentiful soft service, presenting a plethora of kisses, cuddles, and awkward thigh shots (ew). However, it was one of the first anime to include this much explicit yuri service without being pornographic. All the characters were cute and fun, even if there was little in the way of development or complexity, it worked for the series. If you want something to make you think or to learn about yuri, pass over this one. But, if you want a cute and meaningless anime definitely watch it.

4. Yuru Yuri - 337 Votes

YuriMother: OG may not be a fan of Yuru Yuri but I certainly am, which is fairly obvious to anyone who observes that a solid 20% of my communications occur in the form of gifs from this series. It is hilarious, cute, and playful. Just like Sakura Trick, this anime is an easy watch with ultimately little substance. However, the part of me that is not rolling of the floor laughing every time I watch Yuru Yuri lives in a state of pained existence with the knowledge that this work of all things ended up being so popular when people are telling interesting stories about queer women and people in actual relationship that manage to still be funny and adorable while having something to say.

OG: The undisputed most mainstream friendly yuri series there is. It is also one of the funniest. My one gripe is that excluding a select few the main draw of the show besides the comedy and yuri is the ship wars, meaning (almost any girl can be shipped with each other). Not a fan of that but hey, it brought Namori the big bucks so who am I to judge? In any case not much else to add. It deserves all the adulation it gets but the free for all shipping irks me. Reminds me of how they botched Chika X Riko in the Love Live! Sunshine!! Anime. If you were going down the Riko X Yohane route from the start then why give us Chika X Riko in the first half? Ship wars yo. Tch. Hopefully I properly explained myself..

5. Kase-san and Morning Glories (Asagao to Kase-san) - 289 Votes

OG: Still wish this got a 12-13 episode anime. The glorious movie showed how much it deserves one. Whether it will happen or not remains to be seen. In any case the beauty of Kase-san X Yamada is how simple their romance is. No strings attached whatsoever. It is as straightforward as a self-proclaimed “ordinary” cutie, Yamada, having a crush on the super cool school beauty Kase-san. Said beauty is revealed to be just as “adorkable” as Yamada. The other highlight is their story not ending once they officially started dating (as is the case with many romance stories) but that being only the beginning, like real life. From then on, side-stories aside, the two biggest challenges for the two is Yamada accepting that it is okay for someone as “ordinary” as her to be the “cool babe”s girlfriend and Kase-san finding different ways to express her love/hunger for the cutie. As for the OVA, cramming the second part of the first series in an hour definitely had the downside of excluding some important moments, yes, but it at least covered some of the best moments in the manga. The first half of the story was summarized in a five-minute music video. One last thing. The animation, though a bit too brought for some, was glorious. It also had some long pauses which were effective (The bus stop scene being the most infamous) but while I did not mind them at all even I will admit some pauses went a bit too long. A small nitpick all things considered. Fingers crossed one day we either get that 12-13 episode anime for the first series, the sequel or both. That is one of my dreams.

YuriMother: At last, an anime that I do not have to react cynically to! Kase-san is one of the single greatest works of yuri animation to ever to be created and its glory is rivaled only by the manga from which it originated. Despite being only a one hour long OVA this adaption told such an engaging and realistic (finally) story of romance and personal growth. We get to skip the meatless girl meets girls arcs and get into the depth and complexity as Yamada and Kase work to further their relationship. They struggle with the fact that they are two different people who want different things out of life and love and have to actually work on their partnership. Kase-san also includes signs of physical affection and love that are never lewd, immature, or gross, I do not even think I could refer to them as “service”. However, for me, Kase-san’s greatest victory (both the anime and manga) is in its escape from school romance, which in this genre is often a shelter from reality, allowing for women to be in relationships without actually being queer. Kase and Yamada instead make an effort to continue their romance and build a life that includes their relationship once they graduate in a triumphant final act. This anime is a slap in the face to the class S stories and sloppily sexualized works which proliferate the yuri genre. Asagao to Kase-san shines as a holy beacon for the greatness that this genre can achieve.

6. Puella Magi Madoka Magica - 286 Votes

YuriMother: Hurray!! For two entries in a row, I get to talk about series that I wholeheartedly adore without having to constantly attach caveats. Puella Magi Madoka Magica is not considered by all to be yuri, and that is certainly not what it is best known for. PMMM is however famous for twisting the tropes of the magical girl genre and creating one of the most cohesive and thoughtful narratives ever put to screen. This series summoned a new era for the magical girl genre (what OG humorously referred to as the “Moepocalypse”) but no other title managed to top Madoka Magica’s runaway success. Every aspect of this work is highly polished including character designs, a phenomenal soundtrack, and superb writing. This is not only the definitive work of its genre but of all postmodern anime. Whether or not one is a fan of yuri every anime fan should give Madoka Magica a watch.

OG: Meduka Meguca. Its impact in the “Moepocalypse” (Shows where cute and sexy girls consistently suffering physically and emotionally. These are usually dark magical girl shows.) genre and legacy are undeniable. It deserves all the praise it gets. It scarred many unfortunate souls, Homura is a legend in yuridom, Kyouko X Sayaka are glorious (Especially in Rebellion), Meduka’s Mom Junko is a Top Tier Sexy Mama, Charlotte the Witch is a very strange girlfriend and of course Hitomi is a walking anti-fun meme. The animation, especially the creepy doodle like monsters known as Witches are memorable. However, it is not my favorite Moepocalypse show. That honor goes to Yuki Yuna is a Hero.

7. Strawberry Panic - 224 Votes

OG: Like it or not Strawberry Panic is a yuri classic. I have a strong feeling that like many readers around my age (31 during this writing) this was their first 100% yuri anime. The cheese is real but it is the yummy kind of cheese and I loved almost every minute of it, except Amane X Hikari. That was the weakest of the love stories going on. Poor Yaya trying too hard (Not saying this in condescending way. She literally tried too hard). It is like a young adult lesbian novel but more fun. I mean Nagisa X Shizuma might as well be “Lesbian Twilight but not crappy”. Let us be honest, Shizuma is a vampire. Chikaru is an undisputed goddess and Kagome is the cutest.

Oh and I will repeat this statement till my last breath…

#TamaoWasRobbed.

YuriMother: I may be almost a decade younger than OG but even for me Strawberry Panic was my first yuri and it more than earns its nickname as the “gateway yuri,” although last year’s Citrus and Bloom Into You may be presenting serious contenders for this title. If for no other reason than nostalgia, Strawberry Panic remains my favorite yuri works but this ridiculous soap-opera of an anime does deserve a fair amount of recognition. I see Strawberry Panic as the culmination of the S subgenre revived by Maria Watches Over Us. However, this work succeeds at both parodying many of the tropes of S and yuri while breaking a few. However, its greatest accomplishment is introducing many of the young western fans of yuri to the genre. Strawberry Panic, you are an overly dramatic mess but thank you for all you have done.

8. Revolutionary Girl Utena - 176 Votes

YuriMother: Another gem of the yuri genre, actually scratch that, if works like Kase-san are gems then Utena is the minerals from which gems form. I think that is how it works, I am not a geologist. My poor analogies and subtle nods to Steven Universe aside, Revolutionary Girl Utena is one of the single most important works of yuri anime, possibly even more so than Sailor Moon. These two works were the dawn of the current age of yuri, an era spurn on by social progress and the internet into a place where more yuri works featuring honest depictions of homosexuality are flourishing. Utena laid the groundwork for queer representation in anime and for that I remain forever grateful to this masterpiece.

OG: I must confess. While I saw the movie long ago and thought it was cool I have yet to sit down and finish watching the main series. I cannot say much about this show other than it is another yuri classic. Possibly one of the biggest. I think I will leave this to Her Holiness because even if I had seen it I do not consider myself someone who possesses the sufficient intellect to properly explain why this is a legendary show.

9. Flip Flappers - 132 Votes

OG: I would need an essay to explain why this show is legendary. Let me see. It is a story of a girl who discovered her gayness thanks to her growing attraction to a lovable idiot/genki. There are references to Western media, dimension hopping (including Class S Hell), self-discovery, a sexual orientation journey, a tree, armored wedding gowns, crazy third wheels, Ku Klux Klan stand-ins…You know what? Just watch Flip Flappers. It is a hot mess of random, crazy, creative and thought provoking awesomeness with a wonderful dose of gayness. Glory be to PapiCoco. However, as Her Holiness mentioned this is essentially Ikuhara-san levels of weirdness (though not as complicated I feel) but as the plot thickens it all (sort of) starts making sense...eventually. That tree yo.

YuriMother: Flip Flappers was almost too strange and abstract even for me, and that is saying something. However, upon further examination, one of the most interesting works of yuri is revealed. This heavily stylized anime delves deep into the sexual maturation of its protagonist while examining the yuri genre and representation in media. Flip Flappers is the perfect marriage of heavy visual style and intellectual substance. Definitely give them one a.. err better make that three watches, as you will want to be sure to get everything out of this beautiful series as possible.

10. Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid - 131 Votes

YuriMother: This series is the closest anime fans have to a lesbian couple having a family that we have, and that is a shame. I LOVE family narratives, outside of the yuri genre Usagi Drop is my favorite anime. To me, seeing women balance life, a relationship, and children is some of the best queer representation there is. However, for every point in Kobayashi’s favor, there is also a glaring fault. Kobayashi is a modern woman in the workforce providing for herself and her “family,” but is borderline abusive to Tohru. Kanna is an inquisitive child being raising by two women, but there are weirdly sexual scenes featuring her. As previously mentioned on this list, if one can silence the reasonable part of the brain this work becomes enjoyable, hilarious, and adorable. Unfortunately, its faults prevent it from being more than an amusement and I seriously doubt that they will fade in the second season. But hey, it sells a ton of figures so… YAY!

OG: This series is one of the closest yuri fans have to a series starring a lesbian couple with a daughter and it is wonderful. Is the tale of an eternally grateful dragon who wanted to repay the human who saved her life, albeit drunk, by becoming her live-in maid. Tohru being a dragon girl had incredible power and could easily crush everyone in sight but preferred to try and understand humanity so she could live in peace with the woman she loved. It of course was hard at times but thanks to Miss Kobayashi slowly growing to accept her back (romantically she had a ways to go) and the two raising the adorable bundle of mighty puff known as Kanna they became a happy family. How long this relationship will last and whether Miss Kobayashi would come to fully love Tohru back romantically remains to be seen. I have high hopes it can and will happen. Kanna X Riko is precious (Yes. Even that scene). We even have a potential BL couple, which is nice. Not a fan of Lucoa X Shouta the shota. Not because of the age gap but it not being my kind of romantic comedy. It is the same reason I have a hard time buying Tsubame X Misha from UzaMaid. Mya-Nee X Hana from Wataten...maybe. At least Mya-Nee showed she is patient. Back to Dragon Maid. Great series. Naughty of course but great.

11. Sweet Blue Flowers (Aoi Hana) - 119 Votes

OG: Megane girl falls for a cutie but has a hard time confessing to her to the point she gives a relationship with another girl a try. Said other girl has troubles of her own courtesy of her own views on what love. Do not get me started on the OTHER girl who likes megane’s girlfriend. I did not even mention megane girl’s first love interest who she herself eventually begins questioning her feelings for the glasses wearing maiden. While this is well known throughout the history of yuri anime Aoi Hana made it clearer than ever that Yuri + Classical Music go hand in hand. Plus the show is quite pretty. Ultimately enjoyment of this series depends heavily on viewers’ patience.

YuriMother: Aoi Hana was ahead of its time in many regards. Most yuri during the early twenty-first century was unrealistic and melodramatic, especially with the revival of S stories. Aoi Hana instead presents a calm and realistic story that we still rarely see in yuri anime today. Instead of relying on tricks like service or comedy Aoi Hana presents a serene and character-driven story which is matched by equally calming scenery. It is certainly not the most thrilling watch, but a slow and beautiful slice of real life that remains one of the all-time strongest yuri works.

12. Yurikuma Arashi - 99 Votes

YuriMother: Yurikuma Arashi is strange, to say the least, but this is not out of the ordinary for legendary director Ikuhara, who also directed Utena. Parallels are easily drawn between this work and Flip Flappers, as they are both complex and encoded with enough symbolism to drown a bear. Yurikuma is one of my favorite works in the yuri genre and I have had more than a few heated discussions about interpretations of the work, including one memorable occasion when I was visiting a college professor and we ended up in a shouting match in the middle of the hall. However, while Flip Flappers holds a high degree of polish the same can, unfortunately, not be said here. Yurikuma Arashi has more than a few scenes of fanservice many of which overly fetishize the characters and relationship and some of the symbols, particularly lily flowers and the word “yuri” are practically beaten to death with an object I refuse to come up with because I am starting to have my fill of symbolism. However, despite some of its sloppiness, Yurikuma is one of the single most interesting and well-formed anime out there and analyzing it is practically a right of passage for seasoned yuri fans.

OG: Yurikuma Arashi is my favorite of Ikuhara-san’s series. To me it was the least complicated of his works but even so I needed help to understand the show. Luckily I had plenty of assistance. The meat of the story is more complicated but put simply it is about a war between a group of bear girls (and some human girls) who want to freely express their love and/or desire/hunger for each other and another group that amounts to Right to Censor from WWF. Like I said it is far more complex than that but that is the gist. The anime is quite ecchi and it has good reason for it. Again the gay bears are the more liberated of the groups and them getting more sexy scenes is meant to showcase that. Our heroine has good reason to be grumpy and a divine entity was introduced alongside a certain someone from a certain dark anime we already discussed.

In the end it is a show starring lesbian bear girls. I love love stories between women and i love bears. It was obvious I would end up enjoying this one. Like other complex stories it is not for everyone. Shows like Flip Flappers, Utena and Yurikuma have something of a learning people will have to get accustomed to in order to enjoy them.

13. Whispered Words (Sasameki Koto) - 88 Votes

OG: To me Aoi Hana and Sasameki Koto were always connected despite the former being a drama and the latter a comedy. Both star a female protagonist struggling with how to best tell the girl she likes her true feelings whereas their love interest for one reason or another makes it all the more challenging to get their feelings across. Both shows aired during a time yuri was not as popular of a genre as it would become over time. Perhaps if they had come out a little later when yuri was becoming more popular in the mainstream they would have fared better…Then again they may have helped set the groundwork for future yuri shows so it’s just as well they came out when they did. In any case both good shows worthy of “best of yuri” lists. SK has the dynamic of the megane in love and her somewhat airheaded love interest who specifically likes “cute girls”. Poor megane has a hard time figuring out what the airhead defines as “cute”. The show also features an amusing side-couple of an ojou-sama and her tsundere girlfriend. Not to mention the somewhat controversial side-girl who plays a more prominent role in the 2nd half of the anime. Heck, even Mr Crossdresser himself is cool. Let us not forget Miss “Ha Ha Ha!” Another really good show that I would love to see the rest of the manga get animated someday but considering most anime are essentially manga commercials and the SK manga ended the odds of a 2nd season are close to 0.

YuriMother: 2009 was a great year for yuri anime, with both Sasameki Koto and Aoi Hana, among other works, airing. But while Aoi Hana sought to resist many of the common tropes of the genre and tell a simple grounded story Sasameki Koto appears to have looked a the list of every convention possible and say “yeah I can do that.” It has melodrama, comedy, one-sided love, friend love stories, I worship this genre but even I think there is a limit. However, Sasameki Koto is one of the most competent yuri anime works of the current era. While all the tropes are present most of the problematic aspects of the genre are not. The story is well written, characters enjoyable, and art that is really well done for the time. I enjoy every watch and if I ever want to quickly download the genre’s tropes into another person's head I need only duct tape them to a chair and throw on Sasameki Koto.

14. Riddle Story of Devil (Akuma no Riddle) - 77 Votes

YuriMother: Akuma no Riddle was highly anticipated back in 2014, sporting a premise of student assassins that, while certainly not unique, was outside the norms for the yuri genre. It promised a dark and thrilling take on the yuri genre that would not become popular until the yuri horror trend a few years later. At first, it looked like this would be successful with an excellent setup and some pretty compelling characters but ultimately Akuma no Riddle fell flat and became more derailed as it continued. The monster of the week style of episodes left little room for complex plots and plans or proper character development, which is a shame because of how engaging so many of the assassins were upon original presentation. However, this show still has some of the best action in the yuri genre, placing it alongside series like Cannan and Utena despite its flawed storytelling. If nothing else, the anime may compel one to read the manga, which expands the story and characters more than the show was given time to.

OG: Professional assassins secretly gathered at an academy in an attempt to take the life of a seemingly innocent cutie to win the ultimate prize, one of whom wishes to protect the adorable redhead. Yes the manga, which is pretty much a Director’s Cut, is better and the anime would have benefited from having 20+ episodes instead of 12 and a delightful beach OVA but the show did a good job of showing viewers what each assassin was like, their motivations (though many of their origin stories were summarized in written biographies during commercial breaks viewers needed to pause to read) were clear enough and the duels, as brief as some of them were, had enough spicy goodness in them to be memorable, especially the ones in the latter half of the show. Oh, and although the manga wrapped up after the anime it had a very similar ending.

15. Revue Starlight - 72 Votes

OG: Gay theater girls who strive to become the top star, meaning the best actress or lead actor of the cast. How do they do it? By working hard and overcoming their personal hardships? Yes. That. What makes this show so wonderful despite being almost a year old as of this writing is not only do the ladies all have interesting stories to tell but so does the stage. Every song, prop, movement, dance, gesture etc. It is like the performers and performances are united. It is like in Spongebob where not only does the person in the boots tell a story but the boots as well.

Oh yes. I almost forgot to mention the mysterious underground theater and talking giraffe. Never forget the talking giraffe from Hell. #Wakarimasu.

Super cool and super gay.

YuriMother: Bushiroad continuously gets better at what they do, creating media franchises of cute girls filled with music and making mountains of cash from smartphone games. Inspired by the likes of Love Live, they created BanG Dream and last year Revue Starlight. However, where these franchises fell short Revue Starlight success. It never twists its characters to tell a story but rather creates compelling arcs around them. I thoroughly enjoyed and agree with its place on this list.

16. Konohana Kitan - 68 Votes

YuriMother: I know of Konohana Kitan for its constant presence at yuri events more so than the anime or even the manga. It is adorable, relaxing, simple, and fun. While it does not add anything super substantial to the genre it does not take anything either or present any objectionable material. The “plot” is nonexistent but that does not matter, as it is not trying to tell a story or make commentary, just be fluffy and simple.

OG: Konohana Kitan to me is a Girls Club (Cute girls doing cute things) and iyashikei hybrid anime. It is visually stunning as it is relaxing with Yuzu pretty much one of the cutest demigoddesses in existence. She of course is a chick magnet but her heart will forever belong to Satsuki.

17. Destiny of the Shrine Maiden (Kannazuki no Miko) - 65 Votes

OG: The other stuff on the show is still not that great but ChiMeko will forever stand the test of time as far as I’m concerned. Top 10 for their love story alone. Yes. I know THAT ONE SCENE continues being controversial and talked about every time curious new yuri fans witness greatness…but I will forever defend Chikane because I get where she was coming from. Would I have done something different? Yes. The thing is you need to put yourself in her shoes and understand what she wanted to accomplish and how far she would go to get it done. Kotoha is best side-character and Souma Ogami is real man’s man who does not deserve the hate. He was an honorable warrior to the end. He fought well and accepted defeat like a man. Plus his yell is inspirational.

YuriMother: My feelings on Kannazuki no Miko are incredibly mixed. It has many of the worst facets of early current era yuri anime, tropes include S, rape and… am I reading this correctly, demon mechs? Worst of all it presents a cycle, a never-ending loop that haunts the characters in the overarching plot and it does not resolve it. If a work ever presents such an element, like Puella Magi did, it must be overcome or confronted at least. Its presence makes the already cringy story feels cheap and lazy. However, I love the two female leads and their difficult relationship. I love the music, especially the hauntingly beautiful ending theme, and the final moments of episode 11 are some of the greatest seconds I have ever seen in an anime. I cannot wrap my mind around my view of this series but at the end of the day, I understand it. I do not believe that work like it would ever be warmly accepted today but for its time it does stand as a breakout piece of yuri anime.

18. Princess Principal - 61 Votes

YuriMother: Princess Principal is one of the best anime of the past few years. It had everything, an interesting premise, great characters, an incredible soundtrack. Alongside all this is the sharp writing and thrilling story. Princess Principal did everything Akuma no Riddle wanted to with an intriguing and action-packed story featuring strong characters. On top of all this, the animation is top notch. A six-part movie sequel is planned which has me somewhat concerned, but I am glad to see that it is being continued as the ending to the series was one of its weakest aspects. Now if you will excuse me, I need to listen to some jazz.

OG: Cute and sexy gay spies in a dramatic British Steampunk setting. What more do readers need? Allow Her Holiness to elaborate a bit further. Currently waiting for the multi-part cinematic continuation.

19. Izetta: The Last Witch - 60 Votes

OG: I am known for loving shows people do not think as highly of. Izetta: The Last Witch is no different. I love this show so much. Besides how certain events transpired some complained about the depiction of WW2. Basically think about people ranting about storylines and content featured in certain Call of Duty and Battlefield games. Here however, it is clearly a fictional great war inspired by WW2. I was invested in the following:

-The cute and sexy ladies.

-Seeing two badass lesbians lead an army against an evil empire.

-FiZetta’s romance. This of course being the major highlight. I love FiZetta so much. My sexy lesbian babies and Anne X Grea’s mentors. They taught them everything they know after all.

It is similar to how I felt watching Kannazuki no Miko where my focus was primarily on the leading ladies’ developing romance. The difference is that unlike Kannazuki I was also somewhat entertained by our heroines’ enemies along with their allies. Basically viewers’ enjoyment of the show depends on how seriously they take their history and are willing to overlook the liberties this story takes with its depictions of the weapons, military and the familiar evil empire. FiZetta are one of my favorite lesbian couples of all time.

By the way, in that famous scene, yes they did. Viewers just have to squint their eyes to see “it”.

YuriMother: Another show that I consider to have squandered its potential. I know that lots of people enjoyed this one, including OG but I could not bring myself to finish this constantly mediocre series. Perhaps I am tired of alternative light-fantasy European-war inspired plots. Trying to stand out in this bloated genre is difficult and Izetta fails. Izetta started strong and hooked many viewers with its amazing visual and auditory polish but this was quickly lost in the plot which, while set up well, struggle to gain any ground of pay off what had been established. On the yuri side, it did not really do anything interesting or satisfying, with plenty of scenes feature the character’s standing next to each other looking cute and one or two moments of actual yuri. I am glad that some of you were able to enjoy this one more than me at least.

20. Maria Watches Over Us (Maria-sama ga Miteru) - 57 Votes

OG: Like Strawberry Panic this is a “Like it or not” classic. Despite being a Class S show it did its own thing and became a pioneer for . It’s also responsible for the many yuri jokes related to all-girl schools in anime.Shimako X Noriko best Grande and Petite Souer! Yumiko X Sachiko were great too as the two grew to better understand each other. Most memorable scene for me was the panda costume. Even Sei is a sleeper icon in all yuridom. Yoshino X Rei had a very interesting dynamic. I actually think they are the real pioneers of relationships between cousins. Thank you YoshiRei. HaruKana, Kaede X Sara and several others owe you two much appreciation.

YuriMother: Another great and significant series, Maria Watches Over Us, took the tropes of early yuri works, Catholic schools, a lack of men, piano scenes, and emotional relationship rather than physical ones and turned the dial up to 11. For better or worse, it single-handedly revived the Class S genre and was copied (and parodied) endlessly for over a decade. However much I complain about S I actually do not think that we would have the current age of yuri without its popularity and proliferation at the beginning of the century so I owe a big thank you to Maria Watches Over Us for that. Ignoring its historical importance and literary significance the anime still presents an engaging plot with wonderful characters and more butchered French than my last trip to Europe. It is certainly worth a watch and worthy of a place on this list.

What do you think should be on this list?:

YuriMother: As I previously said, this is a pretty perfect list. As far as missing titles I can think of the following.

Simoun - not the greatest in terms of plot or animation but it had cute service and a fun action-packed plot.

Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl - This series may be strange and present the dreaded love triangle but it did its best to tell a transgender narrative in 2006, naturally this involved aliens, and I applaud it for its attempts.

Cannan - This series is light on the yuri but heavy on the suspense, action, and amazing character designs. The terrorist plot is exciting and the final train fight featured in the series is one of the greatest action spectacles in anime that somehow manages to remain grounded.

OG:

-Harukana Receive: Best all-female sports anime ever made. Plus the gayness is not subtle at all.

-Mikagura Gakuen Kumikyoku: Eruna Ichinomiya is an underrated yuri icon. While not the first of her kind (That honor, I think, goes to Galaxy Fraulein Yuna) she set the standard of cool and inspirational badass lesbian protagonists who are proud of who they are and...also happen to be super perverts. Eruna made it cool to be such a protagonist. It is nice seeing a lesbian lead who does not care what anyone else thinks. She is hungry for cute girl booties. While she often loses her control in the presence of pure beauty she, as an inspiration for others like her, has enough self-control to not go overboard (most of the time).

-Symphogear: Symphogear is love, Symphogear is life. Hopefully Season 5 will keep up the good work.

-Rinne no Lagrange: My favorite mecha anime and the reason I embrace OT3s when the signs are there. Not the greatest but man was it fun. Plus Madoka Kyouno is still sexy.

-Yuki Yuna wa Yuusha de Aru: My favorite Moepocalypse anime of all time. Yuna X Togo taught me to love and trust some people outside my closest family again.

-Mouretsu Pirates: If someone were to ask me “Hey OG. What to you is the perfect anime?”. I would tell them Mouretsu/Bodacious Space Pirates.

-Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl. Thanks to the first fan commenting and reminding me of it. Definitely worthy of a spot. #HazumuWasAlwaysFemale

Final Thoughts:

OG: Pretty good list and close to what mine would look like were I to make one. Reason I have yet to do so is because I do not feel confident enough to pick a favorite yuri anime of all time. Favorite yuri manga and couples? That I can do, but anime always seems to give me a hard time choosing my absolute favorites. Like I said though, a potential yuri list of mine would look something like this. I also found it interesting how similar the Top 10 are among both our respective fanbases and visitors to the poll conducted by the Akiba Research Institute.

YuriMother: I may have done most the complaining and left the praise to OG but I actually and really happy with this list. I think that every title presented is a worthy addition and while I would certainly move some higher or lower than their current placing I do not believe that these are too far off from my own opinions, which is surprising for a popularity poll. More than anything I am thrilled to see that works I dislike that I thought to be popular did not make this list. Perhaps I should have more faith in people and their opinions. Everyone did such a wonderful job voting and I am so grateful!

Thank you so much everyone for reading and for voting in the top yuri anime poll. To see the full results of the poll and to support yuri news, reviews, and content, check out the YuriMother Patreon. Happy Pride Month

#yuri #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#pride #pride month #queer #gay #anime #cartoon #tv #lesbian #lesbians #girls love #wlw #gl #poll #manga

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interestarticles · 4 years ago

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Best Movies Of The Year 1980 - Top 20 Films Of 1980

What Are The Best Movies Of The Year 1980?

From New York to Los Angeles this is a question that will get a different answer from every person you ask. There were some great films in the 1980s, and 1980 started the decade off with a bang as a year full of innovation in every way throughout all of society, and it was the start of some exciting new techniques, technologies, and ideas in the film industry in particular with many movies from the year 1980 introducing revolutionary and pioneering cinematic visions. Many people think that some of the best 80s movies of the decade came out in 1980. In this article post, we will go through our top picks for the 20 best movies of 1980, you might be surprised to find out which movies made it on the list! 1) Kramer vs. Kramer In 1980, "Kramer vs. Kramer" was released and became a huge success at the box office. The movie starred Meryl Streep as Joanna Kramer, Dustin Hoffman as Ted Kramer, Jane Alexander as Marylin Jaffe-Jenson, and Justin Henry as Billy Kramer. This film won five Academy Awards in 1981 including Best Picture of 1979 or 1980. It also received nominations for best director (Robert Benton), best actor (Dustin Hoffman), and best-adapted screenplay based on another work (Erica Mann). It is now considered one of the most significant Hollywood films ever made about divorce because it provides nuance to both sides of an argument. 2) The Shining This iconic horror classic film directed by Stanley Kubrick and starring Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall was released in 1980. It is based on Stephen King's 1977 novel of the same name. The film has been ranked a number of times as one of the best horror movies ever made and is now considered to be one of Kubrick's best films. It was nominated for two Academy Awards (Best Actor in Leading Role--Jack Nicholson) and won none at the time. The Shining also received nominations for Best Director - Stanley Kubrick), Best Adapted Screenplay--Steven Spielberg/Stanley Kubrick). Its reputation grew over time, eventually earning an Oscar nomination for Best Picture. 3) Being There Hal Ashby himself had been nominated for an Academy Award in 1971 with directing The Last Detail. It is a film that could be classified as both comedy and drama, but the emphasis on this 1980 release lies more on its comedic aspects. While it was not one of the most acclaimed films when it came out, many now consider Being There to be a classic film about society's relationship with television at the time. It offers commentary on economic inequality and how people are often reduced to simple archetypes who can easily fit into neat narratives for consumption purposes. 4) Time Bandits Time Bandits, a 1980 British fantasy film about adventure, was co-written by Terry Gilliam. It stars Sean Connery and John Cleese as well as Shelley Duvall and Ralph Richardson. Katherine Helmond, Ian Holm. Peter Vaughan and David Warner are also featured. It is a whimsical kids' movie with the fantasy adventure of time travel that has been ranked as one of the best movies ever made by many critics. Gilliam has referred to time bandits as first in his "Trilogy of Imagination", which includes Brazil (1985), and then The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (88). They all revolve around the "craziness and incoherence of our society, and the desire for escape through every means. These films all focus on the struggles and attempts to escape through imagination. Brazil is seen through the eyes of a young man, Time Bandits through a child's eyes, and Munchausen through an old man's eyes. Time Bandits, in particular, was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Visual Effects. 5) Pennies from Heaven Quite a departure from his previous work, this film is much more lighthearted and comedic than the serious dramas of The Miracle Worker or Bonnie and Clyde. The plot revolves around Arthur Parker (Steve Martin), whose life becomes increasingly chaotic as he tries to juggle two jobs, an impending child custody battle for his daughter, and a demanding girlfriend who wants him to give up one job so that they can have some time together. 6) Airplane! This Leslie Nielsen instant comedy classic was one of the highest-grossing movies of 1980. The movie is about an airplane crew that must find a way to land their plane after food poisoning breaks out on board and the pilots become incapacitated, with only two inexperienced passengers who happen to be a doctor (Robert Hays) and a flight attendant (Julie Hagerty) qualified to land the plane. Airplane! was one of the most successful films at theaters in 1980 It had more than $83 million worth of ticket sales by year's end - it became one of Leslie Nielsen's most popular roles ever The film also helped launch Robert Hays' career as a leading man, though he later found greater success playing comedic supporting characters before retiring from acting. 7) The Empire Strikes Back One of the most famous of the 1980s movies, The Empire Strikes Back is remembered for its numerous plot twists and turns as well as introducing fan-favorite Yoda The film features Mark Hamill reprising his role as Luke Skywalker in this second installment of George Lucas' Star Wars series and it was the first star wars to be released on VHS. Featuring a mixture of live-action footage with high-quality animation from Japanese company Toho, it became one of the best critically acclaimed movies ever. In 1997, it won an American Film Institute award for being among the top 100 films since 1941. 8) Raging Bull 1980 was a strong year for movies, and Martin Scorsese's Raging Bull is one of the most acclaimed action films to be released that year. It stars Robert De Niro in an Academy Award-winning performance as new york boxer Jake La Motta, who has a turbulent affair with Kim Basinger's Vickie. The film depicts how new york boxing served as both his escape from domestic abuse but also led him on a self-destruction path. In addition to being nominated for ten Oscars (including best picture), it won two including best actor for Robert de Niro and best director awards respectively. Released by United Artists, the movie has ranked among the top 100 American Films ever made according to AFI rankings. This release is considered one of the best films of the 80s by many critics. 9) Kagemusha One of the most interesting and well-made movies that 1980 has to offer, Kagemusha tells the story of a warlord who is critically injured and after being buried alive. The movie was directed by Akira Kurosawa and stars Tatsuya Nakadai in one of his best performances ever as both warrior leader Katsuyori Shibata and an imposter named Shingen Yashida. Released in Japan on April 20th, 1980, it became the second-highest-grossing film at the Japanese box office just behind The Return of Godzilla (1984). Kagemusha made its international debut at Cannes Film Festival's Directors Fortnight where it won two major awards: Special Jury Prize for Best Direction and Grand Prix du Festival International du Film - Art. 10) The Gods Must Be Crazy Part comedy, part drama, The Gods Must Be Crazy is a timeless classic. Released in 1980, the film follows Xi (N!xau), an out-of-touch bushman who lives happily with his family until he encounters Coca Cola for the first time and it changes their world forever. The premise of this movie makes us laugh because we can relate to how much more comfortable life was before modern society became so intricate that things like Coke began infiltrating every aspect of our lives. We're drawn into Xi's story as he goes from living peacefully with his tribe to being thrust into a completely different reality when they start hunting down any remaining cases of coca-cola at stores all over town! It also touches on some deeper themes such as the cultural modern world where his customs and rituals mean nothing. Xi's journey is our own as we watch the culture clash of modern society, with all its good intentions and never-ending thirst for new things to consume, come into contact with a simpler time that has long since passed by. The humorous film release was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film but lost out to Italy’s Cinema Paradiso (1988). 11) Caddyshack Released in 1980 this classic comedy film by Harold Ramis is widely considered one of the funniest movies ever made by fans and critics alike. It features an amazing comedic all-star ensemble cast, including Chevy Chase as a rich playboy who turns caddie in order to get girls; Ted Knight as Judge Smails, who wants to keep his country club memberships exclusive and prestigious; Rodney Dangerfield as Ty Webb, a millionaire golfer-cum-caddy who has been banned from all other golf courses for being too good. Also featuring Bill Murray as Carl Spackler, the groundskeeper at Bushwood Country Club whose only goal seems to be killing off gophers with any weapon he can devise (including explosives); Michael O'Keefe as Danny Noonan, a young man hired by Judge Smails's daughter (Castle) to caddy for him; and Brian Doyle-Murray as Lou Loomis, the club's ultra-snobby head professional. 12) The Blues Brothers Another instant classic 1980 movie, The Blues Brothers are best known for its 1980 car chases. Starring John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd as Joliet Jake & Elwood Blues respectively, the two brothers who perform a blues show before being arrested by police. They break out of jail with their friends to save an orphanage from foreclosure through satanic cult leader sheik Abdul Khadaffi's "Elvis-Is-King" rally in Chicago Illinois on Mothers Day 1980 at noon. The film has been praised by audiences and critics alike for its music, screenplay, and performances but criticized for its lack of character development (most likely due to budget constraints). This was even acknowledged during production when director John Landis told cast members not to act too much because "no one is going to see this movie." The 1980 car chases are iconic and highly regarded by film critics. One of the most memorable moments in 1980 was when Elwood Blues while driving his 1980 Chevy Malibu, spots a cat on the front fender as he's being chased by police officers from Illinois State Troopers who try to arrest him for not wearing seat belts (the law at that time). The chase ends with Jake & Elwood crashing into an old man sitting atop a 1980 Chevy Monte Carlo. After striking them, the cops then swerve quickly around their fallen comrade before continuing after our heroes. 13) 9 To 5 9 to 5 (listed in the opening credits as Nine to Five) is a 1980 American comedy film directed by Colin Higgins, who wrote the screenplay with Patricia Resnick. It stars Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and Dolly Parton as three working women who live out their fantasies of getting even with and overthrowing the company's autocratic, "sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot" boss, played by Dabney Coleman. The film grossed over $103.9 million and is the 20th-highest-grossing comedy film. As a star vehicle for Parton—already established as a successful singer, musician, and songwriter—it launched her permanently into mainstream popular culture. A television series of the same name based on the film ran for five seasons, and a musical version of the film (also titled 9 to 5), with new songs written by Parton, opened on Broadway on April 30, 2009. 9 to 5 is number 74 on the American Film Institute's "100 Funniest Movies" and has an 83% approval rating on the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes. 14) Smokey And The Bandit 2 Smokey and the Bandit 2 Is a 1980 American action comedy film directed by Hal Needham, starring Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jerry Reed, Jackie Gleason, And Dom DeLuise. This film is a sequel to 1977's film Smokey and the Bandit. The original release of the film was in the United Kingdom, New Zealand, and Australia. Bo "Bandit", Darville (Burt Reynolds), and Cledus "Snowman," Snow (Jerry Reed) transport an elephant to the GOP National Convention. Sheriff Buford T. Justice, Jackie Gleason (Jackie Gleason), is once more in hot pursuit. 15) Superman 2 Superman II, a 1980 superhero movie directed by Richard Lester, is written by Mario Puzo, David, and Leslie Newman and is based on a story by Puzo about the DC Comics character Superman. It features Gene Hackman and Terence Stamp, Terence Stamp, Ned Beatty, and Sarah Douglas. The film was first released in Australia and Europe on December 4, 1980. It was also released in other countries during 1981. Megasound is a high-impact surround sound system that's similar to Sensurround and was used for select premiere Superman II engagements. The Salkinds decided in 1977 that they would simultaneously film Superman and its sequel. Principal photography began in March 1977 and ended in October 1978. There were tensions between Richard Donner, the original director, and the producers. It was decided to stop filming the sequel (of which 75 percent was already completed) and instead finish the first film. After the December 1978 release of Superman, Donner was fired from his post as director and was replaced by Lester. Many cast members and crew members declined to return following Donner's firing. Lester was officially acknowledged as the director. Principal photography resumed in September 1979 and ended in March 1980. Film critics gave the film positive reviews, praising the performances of Reeve, Stamp, and Hackman as well as the visual effects and humor. The film grossed $190million against a $54 million production budget. 16) Friday The 13th Friday the 13th, 1980 American slasher movie, is directed and produced by Sean S. Cunningham. Written by Victor Miller, it stars Betsy Palmer and Adrienne King. The plot centers on a group of teenager camp counselors, who are each murdered by an unknown killer as they attempt to reopen an abandoned summer camp. Cunningham, inspired by John Carpenter's Halloween (1978) success, put out an advertisement in Variety to sell the film. Miller was still writing the screenplay. Filming began in New York City after casting the film. It was shot in New Jersey during summer 1979 on an estimated budget of $550,000. The finished film was the subject of a bidding war. Paramount Pictures won domestic distribution rights while Warner Bros. Pictures took European rights. Friday the 13th, which was released on May 9, 1980, was a huge box office hit, earning $59.8 million globally. The film received mixed reviews, some praised its cinematography, score, and performances while others criticized it for depicting graphic violence. It was the first independent film of its type to be distributed in the U.S. by major studios. The film's box office success led it to many sequels, a crossover film with A Nightmare on Elm Street, and a reboot of the series in 2009. 17) Flash Gordon Flash Gordon is a 1980 space opera film directed and produced by Mike Hodges. It was based on Alex Raymond's King Features comic strip. The film stars Sam J. Jones and Melody Anderson as well as Max von Sydow, Max von Sydow, Max von Sydow, and Topol. Topol is supported by Timothy Dalton and Mariangela Melato. Peter Wyngarde plays the role of Peter Wyngarde. The film features Flash Gordon (Jones), a star quarterback, and his friends Dale Arden and Hans Zarkov (Topol), as they unify the warring factions on the planet Mongo to resist the oppression by Ming the Merciless (von Sydow), a man who wants to destroy Earth. Producer Dino De Laurentiis had been involved in two comic book adaptations: Danger: Diabolik and Barbarella (both 1968). He had also previously worked on Danger. De Laurentiis declined a George Lucas directorial offer, a Star Wars version directed by Federico Fellini was also rejected. De Laurentiis hired Nicolas Roeg as director and Enter the Dragon writer Michael Allin as the lead developer on the film. They were replaced in 1977 by Lorenzo Semple Jr. and Hodges, who had written De Laurentiis’ remake of King Kong, this was due to Roeg's dissatisfaction. Flash Gordon was mostly shot in England, with several soundstages at Elstree Studios and Shepperton Studios. It uses a camp style that is similar to the 1960s TV series Batman, which Semple created. Jones quit the film before principal photography was overdue to a dispute between De Laurentiis and Jones. Much of Jones's dialogue was dubbed by Peter Marinker. The documentary Life After Flash examines the main subjects of Jones' departure and his career after it was released. It is known for its Queen-inspired musical score, which features orchestral sections by Howard Blake. Flash Gordon was a box-office success in Italy and the United Kingdom, but it did poorly in other markets. The film received generally positive reviews upon its initial release and has since developed a large cult following. There have been many attempts at sequels or reboots, but none of them have ever made it to production. 18) Cheech & Chong's Next Movie Cheech and Chong's Next Movie, a 1980 comedy film by Tommy Chong, is the second feature-length Cheech & Chong project, after Up in Smoke. It was released by Universal Pictures. Cheech and Chong go on a mission: siphon gasoline to their neighbor's car. They then continue their day. Cheech works at a movie theater, while Chong looks for something to smoke (a roach). Then Chong revs up his indoor motorcycle and plays loud rock music that disrupts the neighborhood. Cheech is fired and the couple goes to Donna, Cheech's girlfriend, and welfare officer. Cheech seduces Donna over her objections and gets her in trouble with her boss. 19) Coal Miner's Daughter Coal Miner's Daughter, a 1980 American musical biographical film, was directed by Michael Apted and based on a screenplay by Tom Rickman. The film follows Loretta Lynn's rise to stardom as a country singer, starting in her teen years with a poor family. The film is based on Lynn's 1976 biography by George Vecsey. Read the full article

#BestFilmsOf1980 #BestMoviesOfTheYear1980 #BestMoviesOfTheYear1980-Top20FilmsOf1980 #movies1980 #Top20FilmsOf1980

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itskateak · 5 years ago

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(Preface: this is a really long post as I typed it as I was watching the movie so this is unedited, pure thoughts as I was watching this movie.)

I just started watching the new Cats movie and I’m already having issues with what’s going on

Why did Munk spider man his way down a wall

What’s wrong with Misto

Why don’t they just crawl on their knees Jesus Christ if they weren’t on their toes it would be better

“Are you mean like a minx” that’s not in pitch

ThatS NOT HOW JUMPING WORKS

The choreography is going good though- I knew it would. I’ve worked with that choreographer before.

WHY IS THIS NOW A POP REMIX

I have so many questions

Music is too fast. Tempos are everywhere.

Singing isn’t too bad. I can understand the words better.

Munk is a little too feminine for my taste at the moment but I like his design.

ROMANTICAL CATS (heart hands) IS THE MOST ON BRAND MISTO THING YET

Macavity speaking and singing his own song is disgusting

WHY DO THEY HAVE HUMAN TOES AND FINGERS

Why is everyone bullying Misto

AND HUMAN NOSES

Munk there’s a rhythm to the Naming of Cats. You can’t go off it whole everyone else is on it.

You guys can’t keep a tempo can you

HIS name. HIS.

Munk that’s a little sexual. NO YOU ARE WITH DEMETER STOP

stop cutting the scene up. Just let them dance.

AH REFERENCE TO ORIGINAL CHOREO. I SAW THAT

Misto is on brand except he’s not Misto yet storytellers

Also I’m liking the idea that Victoria is new to everything and the plot is they’re introducing her to the wild and the whole heaviside layer thing

THATS NOT THE MELODY MUNK STOP

they have human eyebrows too what

Munk that note is too high for you

Is Jenny twerking excuse me

JennY IS SUPPOSED TO BE MOTHERLY STOP THAT

that’s also not the melody

The human mice are going to cause nightmares

Wait is Jenny lusting after Munk

Why does he actually look interested

Munk do you have an English accent or American. Please decide.

Jenny that’s not the right notes

HUMAN ROACHES NO

WHY DO THEH HAVE HUMAN FACES

The skiN UNZIPPED OH NO

no one needed that undershot of cockroach crotches

Mm meow

huh what Tugger what was that

Okay Derulo is not bad at all

I’m missing the Tugoffolees banter though

This Tugger is a little gayer than the original

THE NEUTER JOKE OH MY GOD

Tugger is reminding me of Dr. Frank N Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show

Why does he have an English accent though

VictoriaaaaAAAAA? (The TOES)

Jenny’s humor is eh. Don’t see the reason of putting that in.

The ending is pure Tugger though

Not a bad rendition

Grizz isn’t as rough as I imagined her looking

Oh her VOICE

HER VOICE HITS HARD

Who is this cat singing about Grizz (the first) her voice was nice

NO. WHY THE SHORTNESS ON “that”

Munk why did you grab that queen’s head

Edward Hyde is that you?

Jenny stop trying to be the comedy relief you’re too awful at it

Bustopher please STOP singing your own song

PLEASE KIDNAP HER IDRIS ELBA

THANK YOU

I wish they spent more time dancing since that’s really the point of the show and the draw to it.

Bustopher wearing heels? I’m for it. Gay legend.

“Thanks Tugger” stop this whole sequence please

Bustopher is supposed to be a very prim and proper cat. What happened to him

Still can’t get over Idris Elba being in this

THATS NOT THE MELODY OF MUNGOJERRIE AND RUMPLETEAZER

What have thEY DONE TO THE MELODY GOOD GOD

AND THE RHYTHM THEY DESTROYED THE SONG

Oh. Hey that’s pretty neat choreo though

“I bought that for her myself” “hey” “what?”

My brain is rebelling because it’s not right at all in anything I remember

Did Misto just pull a whole femur from his hat

STOP THAT. MISTO LOOKS LIKE A CLOSETED TWINK STUCK IN A STRAIGHT RELATIONSHIP

is he wearing eyeliner

GROWLTIGER IS BACK

I don’t actually know his song so this is new to me

Jenny and Bustopher being comedic relief hurts because they’re not funny

Munk “where have you been?!” Is there a love triangle happening. What happened to Demeter

Also his voice in Deuteronomy is actually really nice

“Sits in the suuun” that was beautiful oh god

Deut looks more like how I imagined Grizz would look

IS THAT DAME JUDI DENCH

I bet she regrets ever saying yes after this.

What cat is randomly wearing a crow skull around their neck. Is that a witch’s cat

JUDI DENCH CAN’T YOU ACTUALLY SING? WHY ARE YOU STRUGGLING

Why are you singing Munk’s line

Oh the Jellicle ball is next let’s go Andy show me that awesome choreo

Asparagus are you okay

Tempo doesn’t exist in this movie does it

Neither does rhythm or time keeping

IS THAT MY BOY SKIMBLESHANKS

Twirly boy Munk

Munk really just wants to be topped doesn’t he

WhAT WAS THAT TWITCHING AND THE PANTING

Andy I love you man but the traditional and classic choreo would’ve worked just as fine

Skimble and Munk being gay

what happened to Plato and why is there something going on with Misto

TUGGER YOU HAD A MOMENT YOU COULD HAVE INTERRUPTED

Ah okay I understand why that happened. No mating dance or slumber party

Cats wearing shoes disgusts me more than the toes

POINTE WITHOUT POINTE SHOESSSS GROSS

honestly? Jellicle ball is disappointing. They just cut the ten minutes of amazing dancing down to like four.

I don’t like the heavy breathing. That’s not something that was ever necessary.

Okay, the end worked okay with the big synchronized dances.

I’m ready for this Memory rendition. Already getting chills.

Those are very human hands

Oh keep with the rhythm I beg of you

Ooh altered verse

Wait that’s jennifer Hudson???

Oh we just removed a whole verse, bridge, and chorus didn’t we.

Sweet moment? See I like Vic reaching for Grizz

Vic gets a song??? Ooh intrigued

I like her voice

I’m going to cry this song is sad and I’m glad she gets a story

Though it’s kind of “you think your life is hard? Mine’s worse” feeling after Memory

Awww I’m gonna cry what a sweetheart what a lovely dear protect her

Ugh meaning of happiness. I hate this song no matter who sings it.

Wait what happened to Rumpus Cat song :( the battle of the pekes and the pollicles

What do you mean you’re about to make the choice

We still have Gus’s song, Misto’s song, and Skimble’s song.

They got Ian McKellen to do this?? How much was he paid

“Cross paws” no stop

Why is Gus singing his own song please don’t

Munk’s face bugs me for some reason

His song always makes me cry for some reason but this is kind of goofy and cute and I love it

Misto in the background is just strange for me

Is he forgetting the words sometimes and mumbling to fill in because goodness

Misto’s so eager to please what a bottom

“Macavityyy” I hate it

Munk starting Skimble’s song has the same energy as Tugger doing Misto’s songs

I’m glad they’ve kept this song the same as it was

Skimble is SO gay oh my god what a classic twink

Oooh I like this addition of the train getting started via tap

I’m actually really liking this rendition and the tap dancing on the the rails

Though the tap continuing when no one is tapping or the rhythm being wrong is uh not good

Such an iconic song and I love the changes in scene

Oh skimble that note was not good

WAIT OKAY THAT WAS MACAVITY’S DOING WITH THE LEVITATION

Oh hi Taylor Swift

Use more breath. Stop doing the pop voice thing. Stop it.

Is Bombi a drug dealer

MISTO BEING TWEAKED ON DRUGS IS THE FUNNIEST GODDAMN THING IVE EVER SEEN IN THIS LIFE

I can say though that what they’ve done to the song is exactly the vibes it needed. Sultry and pushing the boundaries.

Sad there’s not a Demeter.

SORRY MUNK WHAT WAS THAT

I actually rewinded to see what happened there with the martini glass

OKAY MAN NEEDS TO BE TOPPED OH MY GOD

“Green house glass is broken” was changed and that makes me sad

This was a good song for Taylor to show off her vocal prowess but she just didn’t

Why is Macavity naked

Why is he singing his own damn song

PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON

Munk you’re still tweaking out a little

Oh here’s the sleeping orgy

What’s with this drama now with the choice thing

We don’t have Munk’s fight with Macavity. Robbed

VICTORIA YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO GET MISTO OUT THERE. IT HAS TO BE TUGGER

If there are no 23 spins, I’ll throw my phone

Munk that’s gay and I’m here for it. Encourage your twink Misto

“Please don’t make me do this” has phantom vibes

Munk that was a lusty look

Where’s the “ooh ahs”

This is weird without Tugger singing it and being an ego for Misto

Tugger come on. Please save this number.

Victoria I swear to god I will beat you

Why do they have one person on the melody in this. And Derulo going through the stratosphere

WHERE IS THE DANCING >:(

That trombone is playing absolutely nothing in the music at all

DON’T YOU DARE KISS HER

oh here’s the fight music

WHY DID WE UNZIP SKIN AGAIN

oh they used the fight music for the escaping of cats

How much longer is there

Oh there’s the daylight reprise thing

I want to die

To the sun, Vic. To the sun.

Munk, Tugger, be respectful. That’s your mother.

Wait that doesn’t work in this universe because Deut is female.

Oh they gave the Asian cat patterns that resemble tiger stripes hmmmm

Why couldn’t they have just filmed an actual stage version and turned that out

Oh that “smile at the old days” was god awful

How much longer oh god

I’m tired man. I wasted 6 bucks on this

Victoria just stealing Jemima’s parts

“Like a flowER as the dawn is breaking”

Okay here it is

OH COME THROUGH QUEEN. WHOLE FILM IS WORTH THIS CLIMAX

Okay so there are some cats wearing clothes and others not. What are the rules for this universe. Are they naked or are they not.

I have not shed a single tear. Usually I have by now from this show. Not a single tear.

Deut X Grizz is still my favorite ship

Is that the intro to Til I Hear You Sing that I hear. Those F to Gm chords Lloyd Webber loves.

Judi Dench stop trying to sing for the love of god.

Ah yes show off that beautiful ballet dancer that plays Vic

Aww Munk bowing to Grizz

Oh so it’s a chandelier this time and not a tire

Where’d Macavity and Bombi go

Oh there he is. What a child. Hate that.

BUSTOPHER CONFIRMED A GAY ICON

Deut being a proud mother to Munk is cute with the hands on the shoulder

Why are we reprising the first song

Also Air balloon.

WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME JUDI DENCH

why are they all staring so intently at her too wait

Munk looks like someone is touching him inappropriately this whole scene.

Munk and Misto looking at each other

MUNK STOPPPP JESUS CHRIST DO YOU NEED TO BE REMOVED FROM THE SITUATION

The choreography doesn’t even match the beat of the song. Huh???

Misto you’re gay stop

Munk and Misto looking at each other and the shy glances away

So Grizz gets hot air balloned to death is that what I’m seeing

Oh it’s over okay

I want to cry.

It’s not as bad as I heard. Once you got used to the way things looked and just let things happen and say it might as well happen, it became a bit more enjoyable.

It’s still god awful though and let’s pray the furries never get ahold of it.

#katetalks #ren live blogs #shitpost #cats #cats 2019 #cats the musical #im so sorrh for sich a long post but thoughts man thoughts

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blurry-fics · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter Twenty One

Where Did We Go | Series Masterlist

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2083

Author’s Note: This is mentioned in the chapter, but I just want to make sure it’s super clear that there’s a time jump! This is a little more than a year after the last chapter, aka the night before the wedding. I hope you enjoy this chapter! :) (picture credit)

You grabbed one of the boxes off the top shelf and passed it down to Tyler, who was standing near your hip. He took it from you and set it down among the others, fanning away some of the dust as he did so. Since tomorrow was your wedding, you and Tyler had decided to pull down all your old boxes of memories and look at some of the things that you had decided to keep throughout the course of your relationship before you started a new chapter together.

“I think that’s everything,” you said, feeling around the shelf one more time to make sure nothing was hidden in a dark corner.

“I didn’t realize you had so many of these,” Tyler said, looking around the small pile at his feet. “We have a lot to go through.”

“We don’t have to look through everything, just the important stuff.”

Tyler held a hand out to you and helped you jump down from the chair you had been standing on. Together, you carried the boxes downstairs. Now that summer had finally come again, you often found yourselves in the living room with the windows open, enjoying the warm breeze and each other’s company. The last couple months since the hiatus began had been peaceful, to say the least.

“Where do we even start?” Tyler asked. He was now sitting cross legged on the floor across from you, his hands rested on his knees.

“Wherever you want. You know all of my deepest, darkest secrets now, so not much is off limits.”

Tyler’s mouth slowly grew into a smile. You watched him for a moment, wondering if he had some sort of plan, but he simply said, “Ok.”

You grabbed a box near you and slowly took the top off. Based on the things you could see on the top of the pile inside, it held memories from a few years ago, right around the time that Tyler had been working on writing Blurryface.

“Hey, look at this!” Tyler said, grabbing a photo from the box he was looking in. “We’re so small.”

He passed the photo over to you. It was of you and Tyler at one of his basketball games, most likely taken by either his mom or sister. The two of you were sitting on the sidelines, evidently before a game had started based on the lack of sweat on Tyler’s face. Tyler had one arm around you and you were both smiling, but you could tell by your expression that you were trying to hide how excited you were about snuggling up next to Tyler.

“Look at my face,” you laughed. “My smile is so dorky.”

“Your smile is so dorky? Look at mine!”

“You look cute! I look like I’m trying not to pass out from excitement.”

“Maybe we were both just dorks in high school,” Tyler said, taking the picture back from you.

“Would you ever have thought that those dorky kids would end up getting married?”

“I think there were a couple people that thought it might happen, but I thought I was always going to be too scared to tell you how I feel.”

“Was putting your arm around me your way of trying to hint at it?”

“Maybe,” Tyler laughed.

You turned back to your box of things and started to dig through it. There were all sorts of things in there, ranging from pictures of Max when he was a newborn to bits of Tyler’s lyrics that you had held on to.

“Wait, look at this,” you smiled, grabbing a piece of plastic from inside the box. “It’s my pass for when I came along on the Quiet is Violent tour.”

“And then we had to rush home from Mexico because Marenna was starting to go into labor?”

“Yes,” you laughed. “I think that was the most stressful day of my life.”

Tyler reached out and grabbed the pass from you and looked over it. “Do you keep all of your passes?”

“Of course I do. I keep everything, Ty.”

“I knew that,” he smiled. “I just didn’t know if it was deemed important enough for the box.”

“It’s my fiancé’s tour! Obviously it’s going to go in the box.”

“Soon to be husband.”

“I know, I can hardly believe it.”

Tyler handed the pass back to you and you carefully tucked it away into the box among the rest of the things. You continued to look for other interesting trinkets, but didn’t come up with much. Tyler, on the other hand, seemed to be finding all sorts of treasures.

“Wait, I remember this!” he grinned, pulling a crumpled piece of notebook paper out of one of the boxes. Your handwriting on the front was unmistakable.

“Oh no.”

“Will you finally read it to me now?”

“Let me look at it first. Just because we’re getting married now doesn’t mean this is any less embarrassing.”

Tyler reluctantly passed the letter off to you. You gently unfolded it and scanned the first paragraph, unable to hold back a shy smile as you did so. Although your feelings hadn’t changed since you wrote the letter - if anything, they had grown stronger - there was still a tinge of embarrassment as you remembered what things had been like when you were fifteen.

“Are you going to read it to me?”

“Ok, ok, I’ll read it.” You cleared your throat and glanced at Tyler once more before you began to read. “Dear Tyler, I’m writing this letter to you because there’s something very important that I have to tell you. I’ve been trying to find the right way to say this, and after a lot of thinking I’ve decided that the best way is to tell you through writing, because every time I want to tell you in person, I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“Did you actually?” he asked.

“Yes, do you remember that time that we were hanging out in your backyard and I told you I needed to tell you something and then said that my stomach hurt?”

“That sounds familiar.”

“That’s why,” you laughed. “Anyway, continuing on. Tyler, I like you. I like like you. I don’t know if you’ll even believe me because you’re my best friend and I know we joke around with one another a lot, but I mean this completely seriously. I’ll even pinky promise you if you ask. And in case you still aren’t convinced, I made a list down below of twenty reasons I think you’re the coolest and cutest guy on Earth.”

“Yes, this is my favorite part,” Tyler grinned.

“Number one: good at basketball. Number two: fluffy hair. Number three: pretty eyes.”

“Do you still think my eyes are pretty?”

“I still believe everything that I wrote on this list,” you smiled. Tyler’s cheeks quickly flushed red. “Do you want me to keep going?”

“Yes, I’ve been waiting years to hear the rest of this list.”

“Number four: luscious lips, with a heart next to it, no less. Number five: a really cute smile. And dimples. Number six: really nice laugh. Number seven: the best singing, and talking, voice I’ve ever heard. Number eight: good dance moves. Number nine: you always tell the best jokes. Number ten: you never fail to make me smile. Oh no, this is where it starts to get really sappy.”

“You said you would read it to me,” he pouted, sticking out his lower lip.

“I will! I just might get a little emotional,” you laughed.

Tyler scooted closer so that he could rest a hand on your knee, gently rubbing his thumb along it. You looked up at him and smiled.

“Alright. Number eleven: you always seem to know when I’m feeling down and can cheer me right back up again. Number twelve: you always let me play the music I like when we hang out, even if it’s not your favorite. Number thirteen: I know you’ll always have my back. Number fourteen: I feel like the most important person in the room when you’re around. Number fifteen: you’ve never once turned your back on me, even if we get in an argument. Number sixteen: you sing to me when I’m sad. Number seventeen: you didn’t ditch me, even when you got on varsity basketball and became popular. Number eighteen: you allow me to totally be myself when we hang out, even if I’m kind of dorky. Number nineteen: you’re somehow super attractive and super cool. Number twenty: you’re genuinely the funniest, sweetest, most supportive guy that I’ve ever met and I would be stupid not to have a crush on you.” This was when you really started to get emotional. Tears started to brim in your eyes, threatening to spill over. Tyler took notice, but let you finish speaking before saying anything. “So, Tyler, that’s why I have a crush on you. I know we agreed that we would always be friends, but unfortunately you’re too cool and I ended up having feelings for you. Even if you don’t return them, hopefully this doesn’t ruin our friendship and we can just pretend this never happened. Love, Y/N.”

“I don’t think that was embarrassing at all,” Tyler said, pulling you closer as you folded up the paper. “Fifteen year old Tyler would have been happy to read that. Why are you crying?”

“They’re happy tears,” you explained, wiping one away with the back of your finger. “It’s just… I remember sitting at my desk and writing this out when I was younger. I was already pretty sure that I wasn’t going to give it to you because I knew you didn’t feel the same, but a small part of me still wanted to just to test it out. I never did, obviously, and as time went on I started to lose hope and then the truth or dare incident happened, which confirmed my fears, and when you dropped out of college, I really thought that was going to be the end for us. Never in a million years did I expect to be sitting here with you, on the night before our wedding in our house, looking over these letters and realizing that everything I dreamt of came true.”

Tyler pulled you even closer so that your knees were pressed together. He took the paper from you, setting it back in its proper box, and then took hold of your hands. You looked up at him, feeling a bit embarrassed about the fact that you were crying.

“I’m sorry that I ever made you feel that way, and let me tell you, I wish every day that I had just ignored the things my head was telling me and told you how I felt the very first day that I realized I was in love with you. I never, ever want to make you feel like that again.”

You shook your head, “It’s ok, Ty. The past is the past, and all that matters is that we’re together now.”

“I love you so much, Y/N. I swear I could spend hours talking about you.”

“Save it for tomorrow, Joseph.”

“Maybe I will, Y/L/N.”

“Can’t call me that for long,” you grinned.

“I know.”

Tyler rested a hand on the side of your face and pulled you towards him until your lips met in the middle. All of your worries were quickly forgotten as the world faded away until nothing was left but you and Tyler.

He finally pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. You took a moment to admire his chocolate brown eyes up close. It was something you would never get tired of.

“Do you think I should finish writing my vows?” Tyler whispered.

“Ty!” you smiled, leaning back. “Have you not finished writing?”

“I’m kidding! I finished them last week. It was easy once I realized all I had to do was talk about how much I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I can’t believe we’re actually getting married tomorrow,” he said, idly playing with your hands.

“I know, it doesn’t feel like it’s actually happening.”

“But it is,” he smiled.

His eyes slowly met yours, instantly bringing heat to your cheeks. Every day you found yourself wondering how you had been lucky enough to fall in love with someone like Tyler. There was nobody else you would rather spend the rest of your life with.

“I can’t wait to marry you.”

* * * * *

Taglist

@tylersheavydirtysoul @faceofcontvsions @ohprettyweeper @shaytwentyonep @tyler-josephs-floof @angelicopioid @topownsmyheart @harishaanne @addictwithaheavydirtycheetah @somethingboutyou1 @boiled-onionrings @heythereitm3 @gaysludge @breadbinishigh @5secondsofmoxley @patdsinner33 @littlerachelbee @royal-avengers

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sugaxjpg · 6 years ago

Text

04 | blank check; m

⤷ “Let me get this right, okay? You threw my name in as your fake girlfriend because you needed to prove yourself to your empty-headed friends, and now you need to fix it. Still,” you paused, raising your eyebrows, “your way of fixing is not to disclose it as a lie, but to cover it up with an even bigger and riskier one. Is that correct?”

⤷ PART 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | Co-written with @pantaemonium

✓ Couple: Jungkook x Reader | Fuckboy!AU & FakeDating!AU

✓ Filed under: smut, tragic comebacks

✓ Words: 6,892

Author’s Note: And here it is... whatever this is. Laura and I are sorry. Also, Part 5 will be a bit longer than the ones we have put out so far, so pls be patient!! It’ll come :,)

Your debate class had its intense, hair-pulling moments in the past — from the dichotomy of the current political climate to philosophical dialogues about Descartes’ universal doubt — but, every once in a while, even your professor would get stressed at the constant bickering of his top 10 students and, instead, would chose a dumb theme that the class could find some sort of humor in. After some time, even that showed itself to be an obstacle, since most of your classmates had their head so far up their own ass that they forgot what the sun looked like, even less what it was to have a chill, borderline comical, conversation with another human being.

And that was where you and Namjoon came in.

If you were to be completely honest, you could say without a shadow of a doubt that the two had a constant veil of bitterness floating between you. What could you do? Both of you were a bit more competitive than you should be, and the prospect of academic validation was far too tempting for you two to just let it slide. But, damn. If Dante Alighieri had the misfortune of meeting Kim Namjoon throughout his life, you were absolutely sure he would have added the man somewhere amongst his circles of inferno — because, Jesus Christ, was he a pain in the ass when he took things to his personal side.

“In synthesis, professor, I must conclude,” Namjoon started, leaning against the tall surface of his table. The copy of the discussed book was placed before him, and you could see that he had highlighted — and color-coded — at least half of it. “Bella Swan should have picked Jacob instead of Edward. The amount of danger she faced was ridiculous, and perfectly avoidable if she had chosen the one that was always there for her and, quite frankly, much more attractive.”

Subtle. Always so subtle.

With his feet over a nearby desk, your professor hummed, and used his cup of coffee to hide the smirk that creeped up on his lips. From your peripheral vision, you could see the other students exchanging animated glances, waiting for your turn to defend Team Edward. “Alright. Very good, Kim,” he praised, then turned to you. His mop-like moustache was stained by the brown coffee, and it looked more disgusting than it should. “What do you have for us, defense?”

You pushed your shoulders back and, without a missed beat, spoke your truth. “I disagree with Namjoon’s conclusion, professor. Edward Cullen cared about Bella Swan much more than Jacob ever did. He was only angry because he was thrown into the friendzone, and did not get his desires fulfilled by his best friend.” Your eyes darted towards Namjoon as you verbalized those words, wishing you were just as subtle as he had been — that is, not at all. “Edward protected Bella since the start, was patient, and didn’t force anything on her. With all due respect, professor.” You turned back to the class. “Jacob had no free-pass to Bella’s black lacy underwear just because he had been there for longer.”

“That’s irrelevant to this debate, come on!” Namjoon defended himself, blushing from the tip of his ears to — not that you had been looking before — the place where his tan skin disappeared under his shirt. The buttons opened, that would’ve gotten him a warning in high school—but in college it was the average cool dude uniform. “Jacob was not as simple-minded as he’s thought to be. He may be a werewolf but he’s not stupid—”

“Well, I have to disagree. As you may have read — and I’m sure my opponent highlighted this part too—, in the fourth book of the saga Jacob imprinted Edward and Bella’s new-born baby, under the justification that, and I quote, everything he was—snip, snip, snip—floated up into space when he met the baby’s eyes, which are coincidentally very similar to Bella’s who happened to be at the moment, dead.”

“It is explained within the Twilight universe that werewolves often link themselves to their partners for life.” Namjoon barked back, although there was no confidence left within him when he opened the book, and started looking through his notes, wondering how he could’ve left the imprinting-the-baby topic out. What a mess.

Poor Namjoon had surely been very busy dreaming of your black underwear to finish preparing the debate and that, good for you, meant you had won — for once.

“My shaking jerked to a stop; heat flooded through me, stronger than before, but it was a new kind of heat — not a burning,” you read, trying to occult behind the pages the wicked smile invading your features. At the back of the classroom, your classmates started laughing enough for Mr. Moustache to turn around and shush them. Namjoon was paralysed. His projection into the Jacob’s character was not as funny anymore. “Around five minutes before he falls in love with the half-vampire parasite, he’s hugging Bella’s flailing body, forbidding her from dying. He’s not what I call… consistent with his feelings.”

Namjoon opened his mouth to talk, but all of the present souls knew that his chances of coming back from that annihilation were practically zero. With a smile and a resonating laugh, Professor Pornstache turned around to the class. “Alright, children of the corn, you all know how it goes,” he started. You had no idea how he hadn’t noticed the soaked mess that his upper lip had turned into, but that’s what botox injections can do to your overall sensibility, after all. “Write on a piece of paper who you think won, and then let’s do this as democratically as we can — even if we all know that the final word is mine.”

You rolled your eyes at your professor’s attempt at being Cool With the Kids. Mussolini over there — Mustachelini? Nah — constantly tried to sneak in references of popular movies into his every sentence, which explained his constant obsession with reviewing young adult novels. Next one up, according to him, would be something from Cassandra Clare, and you really didn’t think you’d be able to endure another painfully awkward love triangle discussion, even less the hidden incest.

With a few chuckles and guilty gazes crossing, the classroom was quick to pass the papers off to the front row, where the teacher’s personal pet — Jisoo? Achoo? Bless you — could organize and count the votes. You were lucky she was great at her job, for it took her less than five dragged-out, silence-filled minutes to have an answer.

With a grin that seemed to come out straight from a Monopoly live-action movie, your professor looked down at the winner’s name. “Oh, look at that,” he said. “Seems like we have a new name to pay attention to. Namjoon…” he dragged out his speech in a way that you swore the air had been sucked out of your lungs. Next to you, the boy leaned forwards, chest filled up with pride. “Better luck next time, kid. Y/N got the trophy. That’s ten points to gryffindor, and a nine for Team Edwards.”

With the weight of defeat dragging his shoulders down, Namjoon retreated to the back of the classroom, where the bad boys — you almost cringed thinking of him as one of those — sat and gnawed gum loudly trying to make the world believe their attitude would get there somewhere in life except, perhaps, jail. He plopped onto his chair, and let out a defeated sigh. If he couldn’t win a Twilight debate that meant his career was over, his reputation on the floor. It was a tragic defeat, one he had never expected.

Part of him, you thought, should be happy that it had been you the one to conquer the first place. It could have been someone else, like the guy from second row who carried an anime figurine around and ate his boogers when he thought no one was watching; or maybe, the resident weed-lover, who would probably rant for five minutes about the necessity to legalize marijuana, and avoid altogether the mundane problems of two-hundred year old bloodsucker hottie number 1; and very white, very anodyne Bella Swan.

“So, tell me, what kept you so busy that you couldn’t finish the assigned reading?” You questioned, rubbing — as they would say — salt over his overabundance of pride wounds. It was petty, but it was the funniest part of defeating the smarty-pants in the room. “Anything on your mind? Do you need a pep-talk? My therapist’s number, perhaps?”

Namjoon crossed his arms over his desk and laid his head over them, hoping the earth could just open up and swallow him alive. It crossed his mind that Jungkook probably didn’t even know which elements that are inside the Earth’s core — nickel and iron, for the ones wondering — even less which layer was liquid: internal or external. Maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe you wanted someone that was more than brains, or maybe you could be searching for someone so dumb that would make you feel more confident at your own IQ — yeah, that was probably it. You wouldn’t pick anyone but Namjoon if that wasn’t the case.

But he needed to control the flux of his thoughts before it got the best of him, and he made the mistake of being a little bit more honest than he should. What could he do? His pride was completely shattered — over a Twilight debate, for fuck’s sake — and he was struggling to seat down after the catastrophe that had been that pizza. Never underestimate the enemy. Never underestimate cheese left out to rot for too long.

And, most importantly, never underestimate Jeon Jungkook.

“So, Y/N,” he started, raising his head from the desk. Two other students had already moved to the front of the class to start their debate on the powers of some of the secondary vampire characters, but he didn’t care about it — that one, he could win it in his sleep —, for his eyes were completely glued to your own. “You ran away from us that night at the party. Care to say what happened between you and your misunderstood knight?”

And god bless your winner high for not making your face crack under the sudden question. Even if the image of Jungkook rubbing his cherry splitter came back in a hormonal rush throughout your body and mind, the smirk in your lips lingered, and your inner despair did not drip through your words. “Nothing happened, we are perfectly fine,” you lied. “In fact, he invited me to go to Jimin’s pool party next weekend. Hope you don’t mind my company.”

It was ephemeral, but you saw the way Namjoon’s eyes widened for an instant — he was a mortal man, with simple mortal needs. Seeing glimpses of your black underwear? That was nice. Seeing you in full bikini? That was a miracle, and Kim Namjoon wasn’t someone to disregard a message from the Lord.

He cleared his throat, and looked towards the front of the class, where the debate was starting to heat up. One of the students claimed that vampires having weather-controlling abilities made no sense, for it was Twilight, and not X-men. He had to agree with that one. “That’s… something to consider,” he spoke. It was getting hot there? It was either you or the intestinal cramps from that forsaken pizza — how many days would it take for it to leave his system? God. “Never thought of you as someone who enjoyed… the outdoors.”

“I’m not the sun’s biggest fan, that’s true,” you acknowledged, “but that’s what relationships are about, you know? Making sacrifices, spending time with your boyfriend’s friends. All that.”

Namjoon, once again, lost his space to speak. As his eyebrows twitched together in a sign of his disbelief — and a bit of jealousy, let’s be honest — and his plump lips parted in a silent exclamation, the screen of your phone lit up, a loud ding! ruptured the attention of the class. From the front row, Pornstache asked for you to turn the device off.

“Won’t you look at that,” Namjoon complained, watching your fingers as you quickly placed your phone on silent mode. “Edward Cullen is here to save the day.”

There was a tinge of agony in his voice, that you interpreted as a silent hope that he could someday become the one to disrupt the class to send you, perhaps, a corny I miss you, let’s meet at the library after class, or a more saucy — and god knows you hate that expression — I’d love to be in bed right now, doing you-know-what. Namjoon didn’t strike you to be one to send a I’ll fuck you raw against the wall only because he would understand the physical limitations that would come with such statement.

“Edward Cullen is just trying to know if I’ll be going to your match next week, I think,” you lied. The phone vibrated against the table, insistent. It was like having Jungkook behind your back, saying whatever nonsense he had come up with that same morning. “Don’t you have something useful to do? I don’t know, start reading Cassandra Clare’s failed incest fanfic attempts or something?”

“Nah, you know what? I’m going to the bathroom. That pizza is still kicking my intestines, and not in a good way.” He smiled, and it was dashing. “See you later.”

“When you finish pooping.”

“Yeah.”

With raised eyebrows and the ghost of a smile lingering on your lips, you watched as Namjoon made his walk of shame towards the front of a class, then quickened up his pace suddenly. If you could go back to the night of the party and tell him about the consequences of his ridiculously high cheese consumption, you wouldn’t. It was too funny to just let it pass.

Your entertainment, however, was short-lived. As soon as you turned your gaze back to the device on your hands and actually read through the previews of Jungkook’s messages, you could tell that something was wrong.

Jungkook’s only neuron: [incoming video]

Jungkook’s only neuron: SHRIIRSHIT

Jungkook’s only neuron: NO DONT OPEN THAT PLEASE DONT

Jungkook’s only neuron: THAT ISN’T FOR YOU BABY NO

Jungkook’s only neuron: IM SO SORRY OMHFGF NPONONOONO

Jungkook’s only neuron: i want to die please dont download the video please i will do anything i will buy you milkshakes for the entire week plea...

But it was too late: you knew Jungkook was terrible at finding compelling arguments, but that was just too much. He knew you were curious, and his overwhelmed texts only increased your sadism to prolong his suffering. Of course you were going to see whatever the hell he had sent you, and of course you would make sure to tease him for it until the end of time. It was what he deserved after dragging you for yet another acting gig.

So, you unlocked your phone, and went straight to his conversation. Nothing could have prepared you for what you were met with — but one thing was for certain: you were so happy that you had brought your earphones that day.

Curiosity started to carve a hole within your chest. It started as a mere tingle, just below your breastbone, when you plugged in your earphones and starting downloading the video. Had Jungkook been a bit smarter that day — or just more technology-conscious — he would have remembered there was an option to delete his video. It would erase it from the face of earth, and with it the shame it would bring along. It was useless now, because by the time he understood the power he had allowed to slip away you would have already saved the thing in your phone. For blackmail purposes only, of course.

With absolutely no expectations, you pressed play. The condemnatory piece of evidence Jungkook had sent by mistake started playing on your screen, a vastness of black pixels and an eventual flash of light. It must be something huge, for him to panic — while sober — on the chat-room. And huge it was, although at first the image was without form and void. Darkness invaded the screen, like there was a towel or a shirt placed in front of the camera, and the only remnants of light that managed to filter in were through holes in the cotton.

Maybe Jungkook had finally lost his mind, and he had recorded one of those confession videos with huge cards. You are perfect to me, could have been read in one of those, scribbled with a Sharpie in his terrible handwriting. But Jungkook was not the romantic type so that would not be the case, he had a reputation to hold — surprisingly, he had not destroyed it yet.

And so the dumbass said “let there be light”, and there was light — and the most horrendous pink tiles covering the bathroom floor. He appeared into focus, clad in grey sweatpants and a tee shirt that you recognized immediately as part of the training gear for the volleyball team.

“Oh, god,” you muttered to yourself, watching him seat cross-legged before the camera. You had watched enough porn in your life to, at least, sense where this was going, but you were not prepared. Not at all.

When the boy — Jungkook, it was fucking Jungkook and you knew it — moved backwards on the shot, the entire scene came into focus, presenting you with the image of what you presumed was his bathroom. You would recognize that pink abomination anywhere, even if, the last time you witnessed it, you had not payed attention to the disgusting fact that the tiles were also a pallid tinge of roseate; the same color of the heat that painted the boy’s cheeks, all the way to the tip of his ears.

The image was slightly blurred still, but you could tell that he was sitting on the floor, back pressed against a bathtub. Jungkook had moved down on the shot enough so you could see up to his nose, but his eyes were still out of frame. It didn’t matter: you knew it was him, and you could not stop looking at the way his swollen lips were parted, glistening with the thin layer of his saliva. From in between them, came the weak, shy sound of a moan, and his body shivered in expectation.

Before you could even take hold of your actions, your gaze was already shooting downwards, past the droplets of sweat on his tan neck, and the obnoxious colors of his team shirt — for fuck’s sake, he was clearly not the brightest of minds, but, if he wanted it to be a bit harder to figure it out who it was, he shouldn’t have worn that. Dumbass. The hottest fucking dumbass you’ve ever laid eyes upon. Not the point.

Then, you saw it, and your mind went blank. Jungkook had one of his veiny hands placed over his hard member, its outline vaguely visible through the thick fabric of his pants. And, shit, that wasn’t the only thick thing in sight. But anyways. He was caressing it slowly, up and down, then rolling his palm against it slowly, dragging out the whines that broke upon his lips. Through your earphones, you could hear the fragile inflections of his voice against your ear, and you swore you could feel his raggedy breath hitting your skin at every new exhale.

On the upper part of your screen, another message popped up: I can tell you’re online!!!! it practically yelled, reeking of desperation and pheromones. You ignored it. There were more interesting things happening. Bigger things.

Jungkook pressed his palm down on his cock one, twice, but soon grew impatient at the lack of sensibility it provided. You tapped on the video and saw that it was three minutes long, which told you just how much he was eager to get straight to the point; and, much to your inner satisfaction, your hypothesis was quickly proved.

Almost timidly — who would’ve thought Jeon Jungkook could be any shade of timid, for fuck’s sake — the tip of his cock was released from the constriction of the elastic. He had been dripping enough to wet the fabric, and it elicited a thousand questions amongst which the idea of Jungkook cumming in his pants, unable to stop himself was primordial and very much overwhelming.

With more tenderness you had ever imagined he would be capable of, he pressed his thumb against his crown, smearing his slick all around. It ripped a long-drawled groan out of his throat, as he threw his head back and against the bathtub. Sweat started to pool in hollow of his clavicle when he dared move again, hand encircling his length.

That was the moment you understood the situation was serious in more than one way because a) Mr Pornstache was still doing whatever he believed was teaching, b) Namjoon had just crossed the classroom threshold and was about to return to his place by your side; and c) your panties were wetter that the goddamn Nile and it was Jungkook’s doing.

Way to start the week.

Then again, miracles can present themselves every once in a while and, for you, it was the fast-thinking that suddenly overtook your senses. Even if every fiber of your being begged for you to do otherwise, your fingers were quick to pause the video, block your phone, and shove your earplugs inside your jacket’s pocket before Namjoon’s gaze even casted itself in your general direction. Usain Bolt who?

You cleared your throat — was it hot in there? “There you are,” you whispered as he sat down next to you. Namjoon looked one shade whiter and many years older. “Had fun?”

He rolled his eyes. “What kind of question is that?” You did not know. You weren’t thinking straight. You could barely recall your name amongst the echoes of Jungkook’s moans inside your mind, and it was driving you insane. “Anyways,” he started, “did I miss something important? Any big arguments to take into consideration?”

“The biggest argument I’ve ever see— I mean no, nothing,” you were quick to correct yourself. Your heart was beating so fast inside your chest that you recalled every medical drama you’ve ever watched, the movement of the defibrillators and the anxious screams of the doctors — charge it to 200; to 500… There’s nothing else we can do, we lost her. Jungkook strikes again. “You know what? This reminds me, I should go to the bathroom as well— To do… to… take care of lady stuff.”

Taken aback by surprise, Namjoon leaned back against his chair and raised his eyebrows in expectation, trying to predict where that was heading towards. He was clearly doubtful of your actions, and Mr Mustachelini was far too enrolled in the superpower debate to care about the way you roughly moved to your feet, almost knocking the desk over as you did so. Thank the heavens above that you didn’t wear a skirt that day, because the situation in between your legs was reaching critical levels.

“Lady… stuff?” he repeated slowly. There it was: the man you learned to fear in debates and in the court, with those piercing pupils and the expression that told you that there was no use in lying, for he already knew the secrets that you hid underneath your tongue. “Did something happen?”

You laughed nervously. “Absolutely nothing happened,” you lied. He could tell. Somehow, he just could. “I just have to leave, it’s gonna be really quick just… okay, bye.”

Namjoon moves around very slowly. The commotion of your sudden leave had probably pressed a slow-mo button he could not turn off. It was like all his energy was being redirected towards his brain, aimed at the gears you could almost hear rumble. It was just a bathroom escapade, it wasn’t that deep. But Namjizz was keen on discovering the secrets you were not skilful enough to conceal — at least not with the image of Jungkook’s swollen dick in his pretty hands still engraved in your brain.

“Bye,” you repeated, waving him farewell. Still perplexed he muttered something along the lines of: are you sure everything is alright? That you never responded to. All you could picture was the girls’ bathroom at the end of the corridor, the cubicle at the far left — the one less transited.

You had some dignity left inside, so you didn’t run. Instead, you walked as fast as your legs allowed. In hindsight, it was a ridiculous image, but you could only feel the weight of your phone growing heavier in your pocket, the wires tangling like serpents as some sort of cosmic punishment for your unspeakable crimes. As if it wasn’t enough that you had fallen for the local cliché; that you had been tempted by the one character in the comic you had promised you would only treat with disdain and, perhaps, some well-founded superiory.

Jungkook was an overused trope, that was clear enough — thanks brain for the painful reminder! — but fuck, did he make you wet with only a few seconds of his blurry, leaked sextape.

Despite the late hour, the bathroom was deserted. You had been hoping to find someone there, someone disagreeable and nasty who would kill your libido with just a look. Coco would’ve fit the role. But there was no one around, and the cleaning lady had just polished the tiles till they shone like diamonds.

Weren’t you the luckiest girl in the entire university, huh?

Giving it no more thought, you locked yourself inside the cubicle. Your phone vibrated again, this time in your hand.

Jungkook’s only neuron: please Y/N i didn’t mean to send that to you. it was a mistake. come back and call me a pig BUT DO SOMETHING. THIS IS LIKE POKING A STONE WITH A STICK

Jungkook’s only neuron: if you didn’t see it as I BEGGED YOU TO PLEASE FORGET I EVEN SAID THAT

He continued to rant into the group chat, monologuing about the many reasons behind your silence. It was — truth be told — abnormal of you to skip a chance to roast him, but there were more important matters to attend to. With a quick swish of your finger you silenced him, and with it the guilt that could come.

In movements far too quick to be your own, you plugged in the earphones in your ear, checked that they were well connected to your device — the last thing you needed was to interrupt the chastic beauty of that recently-cleaned bathroom with Jungkook’s devilish moans — and moved back to the video. The recording started over, but you were quick to move back to the time stamp you had stopped in — 1:38, precisely and, yes, you had memorized.

Now, that was when your morning started to go downhill, because it was when you decided to, as you had mentioned before, defenestrate the rest of your pride, and do the dirty work. Kind of: you were a bit out of your senses, but not enough to finger the baby maker in the middle of a public bathroom, no matter how clean it was.

So, you settled for the second best.

As the video resumed, you noticed the wetness that had spread between your thighs, only increasing as those lust-filled images flashed before your gaze. There was something alluring about the idea of the Great Jeon Jungkook playing with himself, allowing for his hips to roll against his hand as temptation overtook his senses; his legs so weak that he could barely move in that gruesomely pink bathroom floor. He was edging himself, that you could tell from the continuous biting of his lower lip, and the quivering pants that left his mouth, and he was adoring every second of his self-inflicted torture.

Moans and curses poured from his chest like ambrosia, and your other hand was quick to undo the buttons of your pants. You could see him, eyebrows furrowed and eyes closed, as his parted lips groaned for release, his muscles clenching again and again; cock throbbing in his hands. Perhaps, in an instant of patience, he would rub himself through his underwear until he was hard enough, or maybe he would grind against his bed until he could no long take the pleasure that monopolized his carnal desires.

Not that you were far away from that fate.

Hastily, you placed your hand in the space between your jeans and your underwear, finding your clit instantly. Your fingers traced circles over your sensitive spot, but the numbed feeling was awfully frustrating to endure. Just like the fucking video before your eyes was; the rise and fall of Jungkook’s abdomen as he reached for his own orgasm; the teasing of his thumb against the top of his member; the weak, whimper-like moans that infested your mind like a damn egyptian plague. Everything about that situation was frustrating, and it was tearing you from the inside out.

As he so tenderly caressed his length, you wondered at the rubor that had conquered his neck, the toned expanse of his chest. Jeon Jungkook had lost the intimidating arrogance that seemed to envelope his entire being. There was no arrogance in the curve of his mouth when opened his mouth in a whimper that broke before it could be captured by the microphone of his phone. There was no pride in the way he tilted his head back, fingers tight around his cock as he fucked himself relentlessly.

Despite the lack of friction, the sole image of his muscles tensing as he approached his release was enough to have you trembling. The memento of his hands roaming your waist was clear in your mind when you pressed your clit just a bit harder, wishing it was him the one to tease you with the same cruelly he was teasing himself. The wonders his fingers could do, his tongue. As his moans became louder, your movements turned erratic, almost desperate. It threatened to break you, but you could not find reason within yourself to stop.

Still, Jungkook wouldn’t be Jungkook if he didn't find a way to ruin your fucking day.

The vibration of your phone in your hands made your heart jump inside your chest and, for an instant, you swore you had seen the light at the end of the tunnel, and the angels calling you to join them above. But no — it was the human-shaped devil named Jungkook and he was, quite literally, calling you.

With a stressed-out groan, you barely thought about your actions before sliding to answer his call, his previous moans being immediately replaced by static. “What the fuck do you want, Jungkook?”

From the other sound of the line, you heard a shuffle. “Oh great, you picked up,” he spoke. You couldn’t tell if his voice was permeated by annoyance or by relief and, quite honestly, you didn’t give a flying fuck — you had your hands pressed against the soaked mess that had become your panties in a public bathroom, and the last thing you needed was to psychologically characterize his timbre based upon the inflections of his tone. “We have to talk.”

Honestly? Fuck it. The guy had already ruined one rub-out session for you, and he wouldn’t do the same thing again; not when the only detail you could think about had been the ridiculously hot video he had sent you. “No we don’t,” you threw back, breathing growing sharp as you continued your motions — slower this time. “This is not the time, and you have nothing—” You paused, biting back a moan, then masking it as a cough. Okay, you certainly didn’t think that through. “You have nothing to justify.”

“You know I do.” He hesitated. “It’s about the video.”

“Of course it’s about the fucking video,” you interrupted, throwing your head back against the wall. You were starting to get close, and you knew it. “Are you narcissistic enough to jerk off to a video of you... jerking off? This is the weirdest case of inception I’ve ever seen.”

Jungkook paused on the other end. “Inception? But that has nothing to do with my family.”

Good god, have mercy on your soul. “Inception, Jungkook.” You groaned. “Not incest.”

“Not the point, smart ass,” he was quick to reply and — fuck Jungkook and his honey voice — you could have sworn he had almost stuttered. There was no way you could have known for sure, for your own mind was wandering elsewhere and you were barely containing the tremors of your own voice. “I really need to see you and explain, so tell me where to go and I’ll be there.”

“Jungkook,” you called, and your brain thought it was a great moment to bring the images you had been trying to avoid, of Jungkook in-between your legs licking your wetness away as you whimpered his name. At the end of the line there was only static to match your error, so you rapidly added. “There’s no need to explain. I really have no interest in seeing you beat your meat to whatever Arctic Monkeys song you chose as your sex jam, so I don’t really care about your reasons—”

“It’s very normal to do something like this, okay? Some guys do it all the time. I do it all the time to, you know, see how I perform and everything.” You had long lost track of his explanation. The murmur of his voice was just an echo at the back of your head, for you had never stopped pressing your fingers against your clit, trying to subdue the sweet pain threatening to take over. Your brain was overworked — and overwhelmed — and Jungkook blabbing his way out of shame was not annoying enough to stop you. “It’s like monitoring yourself, and It makes me a better lover. A better partner, if you want. Y-you should be glad I’m doing this—”

As Jungkook ranted on, you couldn’t bring yourself to interrupt him, for you knew the moment you tried to speak only a moan would emerge from your throat.

Jungkook, however, took your silence as a punishment. “So you really watched it, huh?” He chuckled, humorless. “Guess I fucked up again—”

For fuck’s sake not now. The way he hesitated — just for a second — before he spoke and his voice refused to come out untainted but in a rough whisper, was the last thing you needed to complete your descent into Dante’s nine circles of hell.

Before you could notice, the faintest whimper dripped from your lips, a broken chord that sounded like his name.

Well, if you wanted to stop Jungkook from blabbering, that was the way to go.

Maybe if you had been a little more in your senses, the realization that you had just moaned out the fragmented syllables of his name would have seemed like an apocalyptic forewarning for the chaos that would ensue. But no: you were far too gone to care, and it had fulfilled your initial purpose of silencing the annoying insect buzzing in your earphones.

But of course, Jungkook wouldn’t let it go so easily.

On the other end of the line, he cleared his throat. “What… are you doing?” He paused, seeming to take in all the details he had ever so naively overlooked aforetime — the vague panting that departed from in-between your lips, the eagerness in which you rushed to finish your sentences. Something odd was taking place, and even his one living neuron could perceive it. “You sound like you just ran a marathon. ”

“It’s a debate class, genius, things got… heated,” and that had been the perfect word to use. “I’m not doing anything.”

There was a second of hesitation before he spoke up again. “Isn’t Namjoon in that class with you?”

“Yes. Congrats on the goldfish memory.” You breathed out — okay, you could maybe hold yourself back. You were getting close, for your legs were already shaking, and you could barely keep your eyes open for longer than a couple seconds and, if you had holden tight for that long, you could do it again. Just no more moaning. Not in front of him. Later, maybe.

“That’s weird,” Jungkook spoke. Fuck his voice, fuck the way his whimpers and cries for release still echoed inside your head; fuck the delicious sight of his head thrown back, and his adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed hard. Fuck him. Fuck you. Hopefully. “I just texted him and he said that you left to go to the bathroom. For lady pro—”

“—It’s a different Namjoon.” What kind of answer was that? You were barely thinking. “Listen, Jungkook, I’m not in the mood to talk, so maybe you could just… call later?”

“There’s only one Namjoon, and we both know his lame lactose-intolerant ass.” Jungkook could be sharp if he thought very hard. Maybe the ruptured thoughts crossing your mind, the weakness spreading all over your body, was what he had needed to fight on equal ground — and somehow you knew he would be very proud of this victory. “You received the video, and then went to the bathroom?” He was trying to organize the timeline of your befall, and for once his solitary neuron was cooperating, while yours were just running around, screaming like hippies high on acid. “Did you go to the bathroom… to watch it?”

“Jungkook, just drop it.” You whined, the sound needier than you had ever intended. “Let’s talk later, okay? I need to go back to class now. Call me later if you want and we’ll talk about the stupid party or your rampant narcissism, whatever you want.”

“I’ll wait for you after class—” He didn’t sound convinced. The raggedness of your voice was a good reason to be puzzled, but the guy was apparently too idle to hang up and do something useful. “We can go somewhere to discuss the party details if you’re up. You know, like a business meeting but in like a café or something.”

“I have a test tomorrow.” Holding to the last threads of rationality, you understood it was time to end the conversation. “Nice talking to you, Jungkook. Bye.”

Jungkook would have questions, of course, but you could only think of him, his hands, his soft lips against your own. Your hand returned to torture your clit, this time unrestricted by his presence on the phone. It was ridiculously easy to find the right pace, to bring back the memory of his weights pressing against your own, his tongue discovering your mouth. Jungkook could mess your existence even in your imagination and that was something you had to confess you had never expected.

Call ended, you allowed yourself to suspire in relief, dwelling in the absence of his frequent interrogations, and the pleasure that was overtaking your senses. The silence, however, was short-lived: you forgot you still had the video playing in the background.

Now, some things in life are beautifully synchronized: the fly of birds as the sun sets; your favorite sad song playing while you’re driving in the rain… Jungkook’s dragged-out moans echoing inside your head the same instant you found your high. You know, the simple stuff. The kind of stuff that makes you lay awake at night in horror.

Your legs trembled when you reached your orgasm, waves of heat running up and down your thighs as you fought to suppress a prolonged whimper. On your hands, the device called for your attention, and your parted eyes barely got the glimpse of a smaller, digitally edited Jungkook covering his abs with the white strands of his own relief; hips rolling against his palm as his mouth, open, cried out in sheer alleviation. You loved that sight, and it pushed you even further down your decay into inferno.

But, of course, the video didn’t stop there. It didn’t fade into black, as you had expected, because you deserved a plot twist to end the day. You had depleted your luck reserves long ago — probably during a math exam — so it was highly unlikely that the guy would just finish the deed and turn off the camera.

No, instead Jungkook continued teasing his cock until his thighs trembled with the excess of his own caresses; limbs flinching under the tides of his exaggerated stimulation. He could not bite back he suspires of despair as he rode a second orgasm and muttered an unintelligible prayer.

Wait, scratch that. You rewinded the video, to listen for a second time. In this occasion you closed your eyes, because his fucked-out face was far too distracting for your brain to keep up with so many stimuli.

It was, actually, very intelligible.

Jeon Jungkook was not praying, but moaning your name.

That, nevertheless, was a secret that would die with you. Or so you hoped.

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zayndrivesmeinvain · 6 years ago

Text

The One Where He Sleeps Over for the First Time

It’s been a few weeks now since you’ve run into Harry at the supermarket and you’ve been talking/texting non-stop. He’s aware that you’re taking summer classes, however, he’ll text you all throughout the day just to see what you’re doing and what you’re occupied with. You definitely have caught some feelings for him and you’re pretty sure that he’s caught on to your ways.

You’ve just never met someone like him before, he’s… different.

He pays attention to the small details that you mention, he takes the time out of his day to text you, even if it’s the smallest thing as good morning, he stays up with you all night even if his eyes are starting to get tired, just so he can watch you in your element of studying. The conversation of is he’s ever thought about going to school has come up quite a few times and he said if his career ever slowed down, he would love to go back and get a degree for himself. He’s often shares his life long goals and ambitions with you when he was tired because he often would just ramble on any information on the top of his head. There was really something beautiful about the way he talked about his goals, it made your heart swell and almost turned you on?

Even though there was some sort of attraction between the two of you, he’s a famous popstar and there’s no possible way that he would want to be with someone like you. You’re plain to him, merely just a college student that ran into him while you were buying ice-cream on a weekend night. Even though you’re very aware that there would never be anything sexual or intimate between the two of you, you would love to have him around as a friend. He makes you laugh when you want to cry, keeps you company while you clean around your apartment and often sends you food when he knows you haven’t gone food shopping, which has been a real big help.

Harry has become your best friend and even though you’ve known each other for a short few weeks, he’s become a lot closer of a friend then most people you’ve known your whole life. You often joke with him about his super start friends and how he should hook you up with them, but he often declines and states that you’re too good for them.

You haven’t really seen Harry much in person since the first time you ran into each other, he’s been busy in the studio or in meetings or even just sleeping. He would never tell you this, but, staying up all night isn’t his perfect cup of tea, however he does it so you’re not lonely or ever feel alone. He admires that you’re independent but he hates that you live alone, it often worries him that something will happen to you late at night, which has led the daily FaceTime calls that start from 9 P.M. and that last up until you finish studying or fall asleep, and then some.

If someone were to ask Harry, he wouldn’t even know what you two have become so he just states you as his friend. He has mentioned you to the few people that he surrounds himself with because they noticed a pattern of the same contact number texting him all day, and he would ignore all the others. He wouldn’t do it on purpose, he was focused on checking up on you or seeing how your day was that he forgot about the other twenty people that texted him around the same time.

It’s a Saturday night and you’ve just been cleaning around your apartment, laundry has piled up from the week before, dishes haven’t been done which led to paper plates that you had in a corner of your pantry to be used, and your floor needed to be mopped.

After a long 4 hours of procrastinating and sing-a-longs your last load of laundry is in the wash and you’re currently folding some towels that you washed. You notice your phone is going off like crazy and messages keep flooding in, instantly your phone starts buzzing again but this time with a call.

“ Hello Harry!” a giggle escapes your lips because you can only wonder what he has on his mind and what’s about to come out of his mouth.

“ Hey babe, what are you doing tonight?” your heart just melts when he calls you pet names but you would never express that to him, not because you’re shamed but because he’ll literally laugh his ass off and think it’s the funniest thing in the world.

“ M’nothing, jus’ been cleaning around here, it started to look like a barn and I wasn’t haven’it anymore. Don’t you have any celebrity plans tonight? Maybe a Met Gala or Music Award or Concert to perform at, Mister Styles?” You can just see the smirk on his face now, dimples showing and his eyes are barely visible because he’s squinting so hard.

“ That’s what I was calling for, was gonna see if I could come by and we could hang out. I have some free time, and thought you could use some company.” This is the first time that Harry’s actually asked you to hang out and you’re taken back, you’re at a loss for words. The phone goes silent for a few seconds but then you hear him calling your name, “ Uh, yeah… you can. I just have to finish cleaning but you can come over in the meantime. The line goes silent again but then your curly friend starts talking again, “ I was hoping you would say that because I’m downstairs, let me in, Bubs.” Panic instantly filled your body, he was coming over to your apartment and you looked like a literal mess, you have an oversized t-shirt on with some old shorts and no bra, the mop on-top of your head could only be characterized as a rats nest and on top of everything you’re a sweaty mess but you have no time because he’s literally waiting for you downstairs to open the door to your apartment building.

You put on a pair of flip flops, cross your arms over your chest and hope for the best. Harry has seen you in the late hours of 3 A.M. before and it’s never bothered you, but he’s never seen you like this. You run into the elderly couple two doors down from you, you exchange a friendly smile and continue your journey downstairs. You make it down to the lobby and there he is, signing himself in at the receptionist's desk. He has a black t-shirt on, with some lounge shorts and a pair of sneakers on, even when he doesn’t try he looks perfect. You notice a few grocery bags in his hands, and spot a tub of ice-cream in one of them.

He looks over to you after politely excusing himself from the receptionist, “M’ looks like some one’s cold, we better get upstairs.” You completely forgot you had no bra on, and in fact you were cold. You shoot him a glare and he throws you his keys because his hands are quite full. The whole 5 flights of stairs he kept making cheeky or puny remarks and you were just getting nervous by the second. He’s only seen your apartment through FaceTime and he’s never actually seen the whole thing, what if he thinks it’s ugly or cheap looking? His apartment is probably beautiful and lavished, and here you are living in a place that you can barely afford and it’s not even close to perfect but you’ve learned to call it home. Right as you get to your door, you turn around before you unlock it, and look at your friend in the eyes, “ Look, but no touching. I just cleaned up and I don’t need any more messes.” He pulls his pinky out from all the bags he has as best as he can and looks right back at you, “ I promise.”

As soon as you walk in, he instantly breaks his promise. He’s already placed the bags down onto your counter and loading items into your fridge, “ Bubs, you barely have anything in here. You must be starved!”

“Harry! I told you not to touch anything!” You instantly run over and shut the fridge behind you and start poking through the bags. He literally went grocery shopping for you, he bought all your favorite foods and snacks and plus more. “ Harry, thank you, but you really didn’t have to do any of this.” You look back at him and you can only wonder how much he spent. “ How much do I owe you?” a chuckle instantly comes out from his lips. He walks toward you and pulls the receipt out from his pocket and rips it apart. “ I guess we’ll never know, so I guess nothing.” As much as you loved when he jokes around with you, this wasn’t a joke. He did not have to do this at all, you’re more taken back because he actually listened on the phone when you were ranting that you ran out of food, but you never expected this.

“ How’bout you go take a shower and get cleaned up and I’ll order us a pizza? We’ll have a movie night.” Your friend wiggles his eyebrows up and down and pushes you down a hallway, even though he’s not sure if it’s the right way. After he’s gone back to your open floor plan apartment, you pick some clothes out and walk to your bathroom. While getting undressed, you can faintly hear him on the phone ordering pizza and making sure to specifically ask for extra cheese “ because that's how she likes it.”

After 20 minutes of waiting for you, Harry hears your footsteps coming from your short hallway as you make your way back into the space that he’s in. Before you walked in he was checking his phone for any emails that may have come in or any text messages that may have been important. However, his attention is quickly taken off his phone when you’re full emerged back into the room. Your long damp hair, messy and all, is laying down your back, your sporting a pair of cleaner shorts from the ones before, and a baggy long sleeve t-shirt on. The outfit was so plain but he thought you looked beautiful in it. The fresh scent of vanilla hits his nose, he assumes it’s the body wash you used.

“ I see you’re all clean now” a smirk is planted on your face face as she walks by you and instantly rolls her eyes. “ Ya know when the pizza’s gonna be here? I’m actually really hungry.”, He watches you as you rummage through your pantry and discover all your new found snacks, “ It should be here any minute, they said they weren't that busy when I called.”

Another ten minutes pass by and your food has finally arrived, he went ahead and ordered two extra-large extra cheesy buffalo chicken pizzas because he knows it your favorite, even though he’s not crazy about them. You guys are now sitting on your sofa, two pizza boxes sat on your coffee table and a two, 2 liter of sodas are popped open. You let Harry decide on what movie to watch because you weren’t really interested in anything that’s out right now, even though you would never tell him that because you enjoy his company and he made more effort than any other friends of yours have made recently.

“ ye’full yet, Bubs?” You pull your attention back to your friend and nod your head. You managed to eat 3 full slices of pizza, 4 garlic knots and a chicken wing and you couldn’t possibly manage another single bite of food. You noticed throughout the night Harry’s phone go off a few times, and even though you instructed him to take any calls or answer any emails he declines and states that when he’s out with friends he likes for them to have his full attention.

The movie just ended and you’re pretty sure that you wouldn’t be able to tell one major detail about the movie. You tried getting into it, but you just couldn’t. You had a lot on your mind: bills, school, Harry, your parents and it was all just too much. Any time Harry would nudge you, you acted as if you were paying attention and would make small commentary to reassure him that you were just as focused as he was. You noticed a few yawns have escaped your plump pink lips, but you tried to hide it because you didn’t want Harry to hear.

You grabbed the pizza boxes and any other empty box that was left on the table and made your way to the kitchen to discard of the trash, a loud bang was heard and it started to downpour. A small yelp, followed by a gulp escaped your scared frame and Harry instantly started to laugh. “ Ye’ get startled there? Just a little rain, the boogeyman ain’t gonna get ye.” He shuffles his way into your kitchen while you’re standing, and shakes you up a bit. “ I thought when ye’ told me you were scared of thunder you were joking.” He playful nudge his shoulder and walk past him, making a smart remark as you walk to your sofa and plop yourself down and you can hear Harry following you, “ If you’re that scared, I can sleep over and make sure no one gets ye’.” Without hesitation the statement “please” runs out of your mouth quicker than you could process it.

“ How bout we camp out here, we’ll make a fort and watch movies till we both fall asleep? I don’t want to leave ya alone since you’re oh so scared.” Again, another eye roll and glance is thrown his way but he follows you down the hall where you had just placed freshly washed blankets and pillows in your hallway closet.

The clock currently reads 2 A.M. and you’re passed out, leaning on the edge of the couch. Your body is curled up in a ball but goosebumps have risen all over your body. Harry takes notice, and without hesitation pulls your blanket back on your body as it made its way onto the floor and kisses your forehead. Sleep was starting to over take his too, and he laid on the floor next to the couch just in case you got scared.

Around 2:30 you started shifting in your sleep, and again without hesitation your friend sat up and started to draw circles on your back and played with your hair until you fell back asleep.

Throughout the night Harry would wake up just to make sure you were still in the same spot and not dangling off of your couch. He thought a few times now about moving you to your bed, but he never invited you in their and he didn’t think it was right to go in without asking.

Harry couldn’t sleep at all that night, he didn’t know what was going on but he knew that you were more than just a friend in his eyes and he cares about you. This was your first official sleepover with Harry and it for sure won’t be your last.

This idea came from an old request that I just discovered again today, “ How it feels to sleep side by side for the first time” but I made it my own, so I hope I didn’t disappoint!!!

Thank you to everyone that has been reading my writing, and I hope you all enjoy. If you guys have any requests or suggestions my asks are always open! You guys can always stop by even just to say hi!!

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sammysreelreviews · 6 years ago

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Counting Down My Top 10 Netflix Original Tv Shows

Netflix has 593 original tv shows and counting. Yes you read that number correctly but, this also includes shows that are made by other networks but Netflix has the international rights to stream them for example: Peaky Blinders and The End of the F***ing World or shows they’ve saved like Lucifer and You but those won’t be included in this list. I’m always asked “what do you recommend to watch on Netflix” and these are my holy top ten that I know you’ll love. Once again, I’ve decided to make the list solely off of Netflix produced shows so shows they saved like You and shows they share like Peaky Blinders are unfortunately not on this list which is a shame cause I love the fookin Peaky Blinders. These shows are not only amazing they’re all shows I’ve rewatched many times like y’all these are my ELITE ten! I was gonna have this up weeks ago but I dead ass forgot to write/wasn’t feeling well mentally but here it finally is so enjoy my absolute Netflix favorites! Spoiler free!

10. Stranger Things (2016 - )

I mean we all know of the Sci-Fi phenomenon that is Stranger Things. I really wanted to rank this after season 3 came out and I’m not gonna lie I was a tad disappointed. This is a spoiler free post so I won’t give anything away to the people who take forever to binge shit but I felt like this season was dull, too cheesy, expensive but not in a good way, and directionless? Beside season 3, seasons 1 and 2 are immaculate and I hope season 4 is on point this time.

Status of show: Has been renewed for a 4th season

9. Atypical (2017 - )

This comedy about a teenage boy with Autism is one of the funniest and heartwarming shows EVER! Keir Gilchrist is absolutely brilliant in this and it really shows a side of autism we don’t normally see in the media. There’s family drama, lots of laughs, and some tear inducing moments. It’s a show you can binge super quickly so please give it a chance there’s nothing else like it!

Status of show: Renewed for a 3rd season

8. Big Mouth (2017 - )

The vulgar animated show that shows the trials and tribulations of puberty is a show that’s so fucking crazy it works. This is a show you can rewatch multiple times cause I promise you there are some jokes or scenes you’ll miss in the background. The planned parenthood episode is not only hysterical but also so well written its genius (also within the time I took to post this this exact episode was nominated for an Emmy). Nick Kroll, Maya Rudolph, and John Mulaney deserve all the awards for their voice acting.

Status of show: Season 3 should be coming soon

7. Bojack Horseman (2014 - )

Bojack Horseman is not only one of the best animated shows ever created but also one of the most depressing? Don’t get me wrong Bojack is indeed a comedy and it is HYSTERICAL but once you dig into Bojack’s past and really get to know him it makes you self aware in a way. I don’t like when my cartoons get sentimental but Bojack talks about mental health and if you know me I am all about checking your mental health.

Status of show: Renewed for a 6th season

6. Dear White People (2017 - )

The show based off the film of the same name about black kids in a mostly white elite college is very relatable, funny, and informative. Dear White People has drama, great conversation starters, and tons of laughs. Coming from a black girl in a mostly white area and going to private mostly white schools my whole life this show is like everything I could ever say. The writing is impeccable and is one of Netflix’s highest rated shows on Rotten Tomatoes.

Status of show: Season 3 is currently streaming on Netflix

5. Quicksand (2019 - )

This is a show I have literally BEGGED people to watch cause it’s just so well fucking done! I’m not gonna repeat myself and go on again but I will tell you the plot. Quicksand is about a girl who is the only one left standing after a school shooting happens in her classroom. The question is what the hell happened? The show then goes on to flashback on the events that happened before the shooting. This is a Netflix international show from Sweden and the acting is phenomenal, the story is powerful, and as chilling as it is you’ll wanna watch it again so um, FUCKING WATCH IT.

Status of show: Sadly unknown

4. Dark (2017 - )

It’s exhausting how many times I’ve told people to watch this sci-fi masterpiece but here I am again begging y’all to watch it. Dark is about a small German town where two boys go missing and what happens next no one could’ve prepared for. This is a show that’s so well written it’s scary like you can tell everything was planned out to the T. I just want y’all to know that this is probably the best show on Netflix. It would be number one on this list but the next three shows I’ve probably rewatched one thousand times. Any who, Dark is ending with a third season and it should be out in late 2020 so binge binge binge!

Status of show: Season 3 will be the last season

3. On My Block (2018 - )

The show about a group of high schoolers dealing with love, school, and gang violence is a show I’ve rewatched like way too many times to count. What I love about this show is that the cast is all people of color and while it is funny as hell when it gets deep it really tugs on your heartstrings. The characters are all so easily to fall in love with and I can not wait for season 3! Also the season one finale... whew!

Status of show: Season 3 is currently filming

2. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015 - 2019)

The quirky show about a woman who was kidnapped in her teens escapes and moves to New York is one of my favorite shows of all time. The references and situations on this show are even more special because sweet Kimmy (Ellie Kenner) only understands things from the 90’s since she was trapped underground for 17 years. The cast also includes Titus Burgess, Jane Krakowski, and Carol Kane. Everyone pulls their own weight on the show but Titus Burgess as Titus is literally one of the best performances I’ve ever seen on television. He should’ve gotten all the awards for his Lemonade episode ALONE! Not only is Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt funny but it deals with sensitive topics like #metoo and immigration in lighthearted ways. It’s repulsive how many times I’ve watched this show but honestly there is not a funnier show on Netflix. Periodt.

Status of show: Ended BUT, I heard there’s going to an interactive episode coming out so that’ll be interesting

1. Narcos (2015 - 2017)

This is now the 5th time I’ve mentioned this show on here. I’ve described it best in my last article here. For the love of Godney Spears please watch this fucking show.

Status of show: Ended BUT they focus on the cartels in Mexico in Narcos: Mexico which stars Diego Luna and is also a Netflix original

#netflix #netflix suggestions #netflix recommendations #atypical #stranger things #quicksand netflix #dark netflix #unbreakable kimmy schmidt #narcos #on my block #dear white people #big mouth #bojack horseman #millie bobby brown #maya rudolph #tina fey #dacre montgomery

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wolfpawn · 5 years ago

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Once Bitten, Twice Shy Chapter 7

Previous Chapter

Chapter Summary - With the world talking about Tom Hiddleston and his writer girlfriend, it becomes clear the talk is turning profits for the pair and their professional endeavours, enough to give publicists and managers ideas.

Tag, @wolfsmom1 @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @standing-onthe-edge

anyone else who wishes to be added to the tags, just ask :)

“So when are you meeting him again?”

“I’m not.” Paige looked at the coffee cup in front of her.

“Paige, of all people, I think you need to hear this from me. You need to start seeing people again. You looked like you genuinely liked him.” Nicola fought with her daughter to eat her food. “I know Derek did a number on the two of us, and I haven’t rushed out the door to find someone else, but I, at least, have gone out with a few people a couple of times, and I have a daughter.”

Paige said nothing more on the matter. She did not want to discuss it. “How is she now?”

“Her temperature is normal, she’ll have to stay on antibiotics for the rest of the week and the doctors want me to consider putting her on the lists for grommets.”

“Will they help?”

“Yes, now, stop changing the subject and explain how you ended up staying the night with one of the most eligible bachelors in London.”

“Even if I wanted to discuss it, your daughter is in the room.”

“My daughter is not old enough to understand what we are talking about.” Nicola pointed out. “How does helping with a character turn into you two in bed?”

“He's really well read, well spoken, respectful, everything.”

“So, the opposite of Derek then, that's a good start.” Paige gave you an unimpressed look. “Hey, I went out with him too, I know it's insulting to both of us. It doesn't make it any less true though, does it?”

Paige could not argue that. “I don't want to open myself to that again. You remember the way it was when you realised what was happening, why subject myself to that again?”

“You're not. Sure there is a risk of that. There always will be, but there's no guarantee. Why risk never being happy with a man again just because one asshole made us feel bad?”

Paige just looked at Alannah and said nothing.

“Mark?”

“A text wouldn't have killed you.” Her brother growled. “So, when is Mum having you drag him to dinner?”

“She wants that to happen at the earliest convenience. It will not be happening at all.”

“Why not?”

“Because there is nothing happening for it to happen. Tom and I are not in a relationship so there's no need for it to.”

“Then why were you having lunch with his family?”

For a moment, Paige did not know what to answer. “Because the other night, he asked me to help him with a character, I went to his home because I didn't want people to get the wrong idea.” Mark scoffed. “Shut up, I ended up staying the night, yes, I know. And the next morning, his mum and sister showed up and he asked me to pretend it was more than it was because his mum is like ours only she insisted we go out to eat and it all snowballed from there.” In truth, telling him everything actually felt good.

There was silence on the other end of the phone or a few seconds, which worried Paige before the sound of her brother erupting in laughter filled her ear. “You're lying, you have to be lying. Please tell me it's true, Paige. I'm begging you, please tell me this actually happened.”

Paige scoffed. Of course, Mark would think it was hilarious. It was part of the reason she loved him so much, he was so relaxed about most everything and tried to see the light side of any situation. “It's a hundred per cent the truth.” He started laughing again. “It's not actually that funny.”

“It's not funny, it's hilarious.” Mark countered. “Honestly, that's the funniest shit I've ever heard. Brilliant.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“Honestly, Paige. I love you, I really do. No other sister could be this funny.”

“Thank you. You know your amusement is paramount in the going ons of my life.” He chuckled again. “And what's worse is his Mum was lovely and so nice to me, which is made worse because apparently, she doesn’t like any woman he has introduced to her.” He laughed. “Mark!”

“Honestly, Paige. This is better than telly.”

“You're no help.”

“In what way do you think I could help you with this? So, what, you're not going to see him again?”

“Not like that, no.”

“Can I ask why?”

“You can ask, yes, that doesn't mean I'll answer.”

“Paige...you really need to stop holding onto that prick and what he did.” She did not respond. “He's off now, with someone else and he left you, and Nicola, of course, messed up. Nicola now has to think of the daughter he left her to care for and you...you won't even leave someone in.”

“I don't need someone.”

“No one needs someone, but you are risking not being happy for a guy who never cared if you were, you are letting him rule your life. I mean, I know this guy is an actor and you really could be one too, but you seemed to genuinely enjoy Hiddleston's company in those pictures and vice versa.”

“He is great company, I wouldn't deny that. I don't need to be seeing him to enjoy and want to be in his company.”

“Yet in two years, he's the first guy you seem to have not instantly regretted being around.”

“I regret it, believe me.”

“It, or the joke of the day that it caused? Because those are two entirely things.”

Paige said nothing more and contemplated her brother's words.

For the next week, including the following Sunday’s obligatory dinner with her family, that, even with constant mentions of Tom joining them, Paige really did enjoy, mostly because Mark spent the majority of the day making her laugh by laughing at the situation she found herself in, made all the funnier by their mother then mentioning Tom again, which caused Paige to warn her brother with a glare to say nothing, causing him to laugh, and her again in turn.

It was Wednesday, she had just cleaned the living room, cleaning and not paying too great heed to anything when her phone went off. Hearing the ringtone she kept for Oscar, she walked over and picked it up. “Good afternoon to you, Mr Richards, how are you today?”

“I am wonderful, Ms Winters, absolutely wonderful and do you know why?”

His even more dramatic tone than usual startled Paige somewhat. Oscar was a naturally jovial man, but this was very excited, even for him. “I have no idea.”

“Guess who has two of her books in the top ten of the week again?”

“What?”

“I told you, your little relationship coming out has caused his fans to be interested in your work, you have increased sales, fourteen thousand copies is the least you have sold of your books and the sales are global, not just here in Britain and the only reason that one is not selling as well is it is the sequel, so predicted sales for that are expected to increase also.” silence was the only response. “Paige?”

“I...I don’t know what to say.”

“I told you that your relationship with Mr Hiddleston would reap benefits.”

“But we are not in a relationship Oscar, I told you already. I was merely assisting him with his work and people got the wrong end of the stick.”

Finally, Oscar seemed to be listening to her. “You’re being honest with me?”

“What reason have I to lie?”

“I see.” Oscar’s tone was low and pensive. “Paige, I will ring you back in a while, alright?”

“Sure fine. I will talk to you then.” The line went dead immediately after.

Thinking over what Oscar had said, she got up Google on her phone and typed in the ten best sellers of the week. Sure enough, her name glared through the phone screen back at her, not once, but twice. Two of her books were on it. It was not a coincidence, there was no way for it to be. She went onto Amazon and typed in the name of her best seller. Sure enough, the reviews had skyrocketed and the 4.0-star rating now was at 4.5. She did not know what to think or say.

A short time later, her phone rang again, Oscar’s tone. She answered it, anxious to see what he had to say. “Are you busy?”

“At present, not particularly, why?”

“Come to my office.”

“Now?”

“Please, Paige.”

“I can be there in about an hour.”

“Faster, Paige. Please.”

Paige tidied herself up, then went and retrieved her jacket before going out the door, wondering what it was Oscar wanted.

Paige’s confusion was only intensified when she turned up at Oscar’s office to see none other than Tom looking at her, awkwardly. “Hello.”

“Hi.” She gave a forced small smile back. “Why are you here?”

“I am not sure, if I’m honest.” He confessed. “Luke told me to come here and when Luke uses that particular tone, it is best to comply. Why are you here?”

“Oscar is my manager and PR agent. He told me to come in ASAP.”

Tom nodded as he thought over her words. “How are you?”

“Good, you?”

“Fine. My mother is very much asking for you.”

Paige could only laugh slightly at that. “My mother is livid I met yours and is all but insisting I bring you to dinner. Your name came up at her dinner table more on Sunday than all other names combined.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Honestly, I caused you nothing but pain and misery.”

“That’s a tad overdramatic. My brother thinks this is completely hilarious.”

“You told him?”

“Yes.”

“And he is okay with it?”

“Why wouldn’t he be?”

“What we did…”

“My brother is a fully grown man, he knows what we did, why we played up in front of your mother, and he is laughing at me any time he sees me or gets a call from me and I am about this close to kicking him in the balls.” She showed her index and thumb to Tom, both about a millimetre from one another.

“Oh dear.” Tom winced slightly at the idea. “So, your manager/publicist, my agent and my publicist are in that room without us, that is a tad concerning.”

“Only a tad.” Paige looked at the door. “Has your week been affected?”

“Excuse me?” Tom did not know how to comprehend that particular question.

“Your week, has it been affected by our being seen together last week?”

“I...don’t know. I mean, Ben gave me the questioning of a lifetime, but other than that, no.”

“Okay.” She went back to thinking.

“Can I ask why you would ask that?”

“I don’t know. I am trying to make sense of this.”

Tom was about to respond when Anja, Oscar’s secretary since before Paige had hired him, came out of the room. “They are asking for you to join them now.” She held the door open for them, Tom standing back and allowing Paige to enter first. The manner in which the three men were looking at them concerned both Tom and Paige.

“Luke, Christian, what is going on?” Tom was the first to speak.

“We just want to speak to you both for a moment,” Luke explained. “Ms Winters, I am Luke Windsor, I am Tom’s publicist, this is Christian Hodell, he is one of the partners of Hamilton Hodell and Tom’s agent. Tom this is Oscar Richard’s, Paige’s publicist and manager.”

“Hello.” Paige gave an apologetic smile. “I fear I can only apologise for the work last week caused for you all.”

“Yes, honestly, we did not mean for it to happen,” Tom added.

“No, that was nothing.” Oscar dismissed. “But the ripple effect of it has caused us to think.” Paige and Tom looked at one another, bewildered. “As you know from our call earlier, Paige, this has had an impact on you.” Tom looked at Paige worriedly. “You’ve sold more books in the past week than you have since the movie deal and the reviews are continuing to increase. The BBC wants you to go on the radio about it. They have badgered me twice today about it.”

“Wow.”

“Tom, Betrayal has almost sold out, there are only a few tickets left for most every date,” Christian told him, Luke nodded. “Honestly, this is the fastest sales they have had. Many are already sold out.”

“It’s on for nearly four months,” Tom commented. “I know we expected big sales, but that many?”

“Ms Winters holds a following of educated and well-read fans, her approval of your work, your name and sheer talent on stage, it’s a deadly duo. Going by social media, the overlap is causing significant sales.” Christian explained.

Luke looked between the pair. “It would seem that you’re an unexpected power couple.”

“But…” Paige began.

“Yes. I told them, you stated there is no actual relationship here.” Oscar stated.

Immediately, Paige realised what was happening, she noted the terms and reasons being used and realised what was being implied. “You want to stage one?”

Luke smiled, realising how intelligent she was to have figured it out before Tom, who now seemed to be on the same page as them. “I know it is not the most ideal situation, but all things considered, we think that for a short time, it may be in both parties best interests, to consider such a situation.”

“By best interests, let’s just be clear here, you are implying our work interests,” Tom interjected. “Luke…”

“Tom, after the last disaster, you really cannot afford to simply be seen with a woman once again and for her to dash off again soon after.” Tom felt as though that was a low blow and it showed. “I know this seems harsh Tom, but it is a good idea, I feel. Of all the women, Paige is so well suited, and Ms Winter’s, your sales are set to rise this week.” She looked at him curiously. “I know this is a tad tacky, I thought the same thing when Oscar suggested it, but it is an idea that is very much profitable to both parties.”

“There’s more to life than simply money, Mr Windsor.”

Luke chuckled. “Yes, there is, and that is part of the reasoning for this. You are not going to do a ‘sell all’, neither is Tom. You both ride this little wave, you say the publicity of the press was too much after it, part ways and nothing more. No nasty songs, media comments, nothing.”

Tom shook his head slightly. “We’re above this.” He looked at Paige. “What happened last week caused me to force Paige into something that she did not want, I feel incredibly guilty about this, I am not doing that again.”

“The issue with last week, from what you have told me, is your mother forcing you in public, this time, should you agree, everything will be laid out on the table, no nasty surprises, for you both to agree to.” Luke countered.

“What would be expected of us?” Paige asked, not because she was seriously thinking of considering it, but to see what was the lie of the land.

“Going to dinner, getting coffee, walking Tom’s dog, going to the play, just being seen to be two regular human beings, very ‘normal’ things really.”

“Tom doesn’t need a ‘girlfriend’, he is portrayed fine by himself.” Paige pointed out.

“Not really.” She looked at Tom, startled to hear it was him that was answering, not his team. “I took a hit for the whole Taylor Swift thing, I am seeing as a bit of a joke now.” She looked sadly at him. “I accepted that it was my own doing. But I am not subjecting you to it, it’s not fair.”

“I just don’t understand why we would fake a relationship.”

“This is the era of such things, sadly. One’s own merit is not everything anymore.” Christian stated. “I know this is odd, and you are both highly professional and inoffensive people, but that is part of it. Katie Price sells more books than most serious female writers, which is wrong, as of course, they are ghostwritten, but she is more famous and for that, she profits.”

Paige paused and thought over what he said. She had no quarrel with Katie Price, she had not even met the other woman, but yes, her chick-lit did outsell Booker Prize Winners and that never sat fully with Paige, she felt more serious work deserved more praise. “So, if we cannot beat them, join them, is it?”

“Fuck no,” Oscar growled. “No drugged out of your head, no dirty laundry in public, just you two, acting like two normal people just enjoying a healthy relationship, nothing more.”

“That won’t sell for long, though.” Tom pointed out.

“No, but that is why we just go with it for now while it is selling,” Christian argued. “Think it over, it will very much be worth your while, I think you’ll find.”

Tom and Paige simply looked at one another again.

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic #chapter 7 #Once Bitten Twice Shy

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