#top 5 songs that make me want to commit double suicide with someone

[mishkakagehishka]

Cloth Waltz came on shuffle so i'll post this on its own bc i'm feeling it /pos

[marshymoss]

BSD 107 SPOILERS

//SPOILERS!! AHHHHH!!!! I'm putting my thoughts here because I have a moot on Twitter that I don't want to spoil things for....

OK. SO. You know how Dazai is Not having a good time rn.... like bro is seeing the pearly gates. And Chuuya (who is not in control of his own body) is on his way to kill him via Fyodor's orders.

NOW, many people, including myself... ARE SO EXCITED FOR THIS SKK REUNION!!! like... so many monumental things abouta possibly happen. SUCH AS (list off the top of my head): 1. Chuuya bite Dazai vampire style and that nullifies the curse. Aha. i can imagine the edits now. (and to see that animated at some point.. ough) 2. Skk beats up Fyodor double black style ;) 3. Skk bantering that we have missed so so so much 4. Chuuya potentially faking being vampire, lifting his hat up, and looking at Dazai... "You missed me?" OR "You look like shit. Almost makes me forgive you for that stunt you pulled with the water." 5. Dazai being carried princess style by Chuuya ahhahahtg73849ewk 6. Now, what me personally wanna see.... Chuuya BOOKING it down the halls trying to get to Dazai in time. I don't think this will happen because the shock value of seeing Chuuya actually faking being vampire wouldn't be as good. BUT OH BOY AM I IMAGINING IT. 7. oh and Chuuya having his own flashbacks ab their relationship too!!

IM SO EXCITED FOR JULY YALL. EEK.

Now, I don't think Dazai is going to die. But. It a possibility that we cannot ignore.... and I've got some angst that it can cause. Like. Agh. This is the reason I'm making this post; I want to shock others with fear. Fear that I don't want to suffer through alone. NOW, MY ANGSTY LIST FOR HOW THIS SKK INTERACTION MIGHT PLAY OUT:

Fyodor calls back vampire Chuuya (Sigma situation) and he doesn't make it to Dazai in time and Dazai dies Alone. (I don't think this is going to happen at like. All. But it could! Maybe!)

Turns out Chuuya is faking being vampire, but he gets to Dazai and it's too late to do anything (poison kicks in, bro bleeds out, etc.) He dies in his arms! ^^

Chuuya is forced to activate corruption, Dazai can't save him because BROKEN LEGS and both Chuuya and Dazai die (i will stop reading bsd.

Chuuya kills Dazai as a vampire, the curse isn't nullified (FYODOR is the one who sent Chuuya there afterall) and this is when we get Really Angsty: (1) It's obvious that Chuuya and Dazai care for each other on some level, even if you don't ship them. Chuuya would be killing somebody that he cares about, and he would probably blame himself for it. Dazai is somebody that he has known for SEVEN YEARS!! That shit would HURT!! The sheep, flags, all of his subordinates that have died on the field, now Dazai. (2) NOW as for DAZAI!! If I remember correctly, Dazai says something along the lines of "Everything I want I lose" or something like that, right?? Now. Imagine this. Dazai, someone who craves death and constantly tries to commit suicide, dies. OK so what?? No. I think that Dazai very much wants to try and stay alive, it's hinted at multiple times (15 novel, his character song, a much happier life with the ADA in contrast to the mafia, etc.). Let's circle back to what I said earlier, "Everything I want I lose." Dazai goes full circle from wanting to die -> wanting to live -> dying. It hurts and it would prove what Dazai thinks/thought is right!! Everything he wants, he can't have! (Also, cherry on top. He hates pain!! He would be dying a very, very painful death. He even says that he is in a lot of pain in the chapter) OK, ONE AGAIN I DONT THINK CHUUYA OR DAZAI IS DYING!!! im sorry. lets.. focus on the positives!!! Sskk reunion yayyy! (it's also really painful to think about them)

[miyochan]

It could’ve been worse

Summary: This is the story of you and Dazai Osamu.

Warnings: angst, death, chronical illness, mention of suicide (its Dazai we are talking about)

You had to say, it could’ve been worse...

You just had an Job appointment and well, let’s just say to day hadn’t been your day. The top you were wearing was stained with your breakfast and you missed a step while walking to the top office of the building. With everything happening and the pain on your knees you did stutter a lot. Like a lot. At least the company was nice enough to decline you in a polite way. Simply saying you didn’t fit into the company image. Well, it could’ve been worse.

That was what you were thinking until you saw legs peeking out of the river. You just stared for a moment as the legs got further and further away in funny until you realised the situation. Shit. Someone was drowning and without a second thought you jumped into the river and pulled the person, who was way to heavy, out of the water and tried to catch your breath. After you could breath kinda normal again you checked on the person who was laying lifeless next to you. You shook his shoulders harshly and screamed over an over the words ´sir, wake up!´. Well yeah, that was until he shoot up and his head hit your head and made you fall back. Gosh, did your chin hurt. The person stretched a bit and you couldn’t believe the word that left his mouth next.

„Another failed attempt to leave this cruel world, huh. Anyways I just try again tomorrow with some stones bound around my ankle to keep me down, yes that must work.“

„Wha- You want to try again?!“

The man turned around to face you. You guess you heart skipped two or three beats. He was hot. The way the water dropped from his hair down his sharp jawline made your face heat up like crazy. He stared down at you curiously. The way you still held your bruised chin in an attempt to stop the pain that shoot trough your head and the way you were soaked to the bone.

„Ate you the one who stopped me from the sweet love of death?“

„NO! I’m the one who saved you from drowning but you’re welcome!“

You looked away annoyed that you risked your life to save a psychopath from his date with lady death. You looked back up when you felt your hand was taken away from your chin and started into the mans beautiful eyes which were now way to close.

„Such a beautiful woman like you would be a waste to die alone.“

´What did he just say? Are in danger? Is he dangerous? Didn’t you suffer enough today?

„My beautiful belladonna, would you commit a double suicide with me?“

´huh?´

´huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!´

The way he was staring at you with so much hope made you feel so uncomfortable but you couldn’t say a word from the shook that was still clearly visible in your face. Now that you were thinking about it saying no could lead him to just killing you. So you decided to play along.

„I’m sorry but today won’t be possible since I still have an job appointment in three day’s but should I get declined again I would love to share my last moments with you, sir.“

He looked at you a bit surprised and than broke out into a fit of loud laughter but like the creepy kind of laughter that only people from organisations like the port mafia had. Before he could answer you a book was thrown his way and hit him with so much force in his way that he let go of your hand and fell to the side with a bump.

“DAZAI YOU BANDAGE WASTE OF A MANIAC COME BACK TO THE AGENCY NOW AND FINISH YOU WORK BEFORE I GIVE YOU THE MOST PAINFUL DEATH YOU CAN THINK ABOUT!”

‘Ah,so his name was Dazai. You turned to the side were the yell came from and saw a tall man with classes coming into the direction of you with an angry look on his face.

The man took dazai by the collar and screamed a bit more at him before turning to you and eyeing you up and down.

“Who is this?”

“This lovely belladonna stoppen my attempt by pulling me out of the river and said she would commit a double suicide if she doesn’t get the job she wants.”

The blond eyed you again and was about to scream at the brown haired again but you interrupted him.

“I’m sorry but who are you two?”

“This waste of bandage next me is-“

“Dazai Osamu, nice to meet you belladonna.”

The way he smiled at you with this beautiful dark brown eyes which seemed to glow a bit red and the way his brown wet looks sticked to his forehead was... gorgeous.

“And who are you, my flower?”

“I’m l/n y/n, nice to meet you too.”

And this is how you met the waste of bandage called Dazai Osamu.

—

“Osamu if you don’t do get down from my lap I will kick you down!”

“Buuuuuut belladonna I’m so bored and your lap is always so comfortable!”

“DAZAI MOVE YOU BANDAGED ASS AND DO YOUR WORK!”

And with that kunikida yanked him down from your lap and threw him in his office chair. You chuckled at his antics and finished the report from the last case.

It’s been a bit over two years since you met Dazai and started working at the agency with everybody else. Kunikida saw the wound on your chin and took you to Yosano so she could treat the wound. One thing got to another and you got the job at the agency. And you fell in love with your boyfriend Dazai Osamu. You didn’t even know how it happened but it happened. In this two years you learned a lot about the brown haired man.

You guess you fell for him when the both of you had to stay behind at the agency to finish some work. Kunikida forced him to do his work and you just had a few reports to do. He was so whiny and complained the whole time how much he hated paper work. You ignored most of it until he said an important sentence.

“Why do I have to do this dumb paperwork I would more like to drown myself with a lovely lady... huh...”

“Dazai, uhm why Dow you want to die so much?”

This was a risky question and you knew that but you had to ask. Maybe it was pity, maybe it was curiosity or maybe you were just bored like him.

“Why do you wanna know? Do you, do you maybe want to commit a-“

“No I don’t moron, I mean this question seriously!”

He looked you up and down and than deep into your eyes before he turned away from you and mumbled something. This was incredible unusual from him and your worried about him now.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to ask that.”

There was a bit of silence before he spoke up.

“Why do you think living is worth it?”

This questing was unexpected. You started at your hands a bit searching for an answer that would satisfy him. You thought and thought before you realised that you don’t have to satisfy him. That is your answer.

“Well, I guess it could be worse...”

He turned around to look at you and saw your smiling face before you looked down again to type something in your computer.

“This was not why I expected from you... I thought you would say something deep like that you wish to live your dreams or something.”

“I know, but I won’t change my answer. Do what you want with this information.”

“You’re weird you know that, but I like this answer.”

You looked up to him and saw him writing something down on a piece of paper and slowly a small smile came to your face.

You both had this late night talks often since both of you were forced to stay behind to do work. You talked about many things, random and with a deep meaning. But Dazai never gave you much information about himself. You asked him a question and answered you with the same just different. You knew this but you didn’t mind. After some time he took you home after work, saying that he can’t have you die without him. You were often chatting while walking but sometimes there was just a comfortable silence.

You both got in a relationship in a more sad way. It’s been a year since you met dazai to that point and Kunikida forced you to pick him up and drag him to an important meeting. Of course you did as told and were confused when you found him at a cemetery. You walked towards him and looked down at his sitting form. He was leaning against a gravestone and smiled to himself.

“Kunikida told you to take me to the meeting, or? Well, I don’t want to.”

You stared down at him before you walked in front of him.

“Are you visiting a dear friend of yours?”

At this his eyes opened and starred into your light smiling face. He took a moment to think about your words before he spoke.

“Yes. His birthday is today.”

“I see... I’m gonna go now. Make sure to come home safe da-“

You couldn’t finish your sentence because that what was happening next was shocking you to the bone. Dazai hugged you. He hugged you tight. You were laying with your bake on the floor and Dazai on top of you, his face between your shoulder and neck.

“Don’t say anything, please.”

You never heard him say the work please. You careful lifted your arms and stroked trough his brown hair while your other arm carefully stroked his back. You said nothing for a few minutes and just held him.

“Tell me... tell me about him, your friend.”

Dazai flinched a bit at your words but started talking about the man that was his only true friend. You listened closely to what he was saying and felt him relax in your arms. This is the moment the both of you fell in love and you became is safe place. The both of you became a couple after that day.

You learned a lot about him. That he like it to be held, to feel welcome. That he hated spicy food but still ate it whenever you wanted too. That he hated waking up early but did it when you told him that he can cuddle you the whole evening. That he liked the sound of your voice more than the sound of his favourite song. That he would read to you whenever you couldn’t sleep. But most importantly you learned that Dazai Osamu wanted to live. He wanted to live with you. He even stole your life quote. When you were stressed or angry he always told you “it could be worse”.

—

“Y/N I’m done with my work! Can we go home now? I want to cuddle and we can order some takeout!”

You let out a light chuckle when he brought you away from your thoughts. He was adorable.

“Of course we can, just let finish this and we can go in 5 minutes, okay?”

He nodded and turned back to say something to Atsushi who was absolutely done with Dazai’s antics.

You smiled to yourself before standing up but you were suddenly feeling dizzy and you felt a pain trough your complete body. You must have key out a scream because everybody was with you now. The last thing you remember was Dazai’s worried face and someone screaming your name.

—

You woke up to a bright white light shining directly in your face. You closed your eyes again and let out a few curses before opening them careful again. You could hear people talking. You tried to look around, gosh your body felt so heavy. You saw a.. a doctor and on the other side Dazai who looked as if someone told him a horror story. Dazai noticed you were awake and hugged you immediately. You careful lifted your arm to stroke his head. You knew it always calmed him down.

“What’s wrong Osamu? Are you okay? You looke pale...”

He just watched you with a worried expression.

“L/N, I’m your doctor. Do you remember anything before you came here?”

“I... I felt dizzy and everything hurt...”

“I have bad news for you l/n. We were doing a few test with you because we thought you have a heart attack but... you have cancer. I’m sorry.”

Oh.

“Is it bad?”

“Yes. We think you have around 3 to 5 months. A chemotherapy won’t do anything anymore. We don’t know how no doctor found out earlier. We’re so sorry.”

You were quit for a moment. You were shocked that the doctors didn’t found out earlier but that can’t be changed anymore. You focused back on Dazai who wasn’t letting you go.

“I see.. could you please leave us alone for a bit?”

“Of course.”

And with that the doctor left you and Dazai alone. You wanted to speak but he started first.

“I already talked wit Yosano, she can’t help you. The doctor told me a few hours ago... I couldn’t believe then at first I-I don’t know what todo! You can’t leave me, please don’t leave me please-“

He was shout up with a kiss. You wiped a way the tears that escaped his eyes. You never saw him crying. You gave him that beautiful smile again he fell in love with.

“You know... it could be worse”

“What!? How could this be worse you are going to-“

“Im still here, aren’t I? I’m glad that I can see you again and spend my time useful with you. You the person who means everything to me.”

He looked at you and you felt the first tears hitting your face again. This was the first time you say him crying.

—

The two of you did a lot. Dazai and you visited Oda. Dazai never said it out loud but you knew that your grave will be next to Oda’s. You both went with the agency to your favourite convert. You took many pictures. Dazai took one with you everyday and even when you said no because you looked horrible he just kissed you and said you were the most beautiful belladonna of the world. You went with him to your favourite restaurant were he had to eat spicy food and he did it with a smile. You held him every night and told him how much you love him and he did the same to you. But the most important thing his, that you both married. It was a month after the diagnoses that the both of you married. It was just a tiny celebration with the agency and a special seat for Oda.

—

“I’m so happy that the ring still fits.”

“Yes, you look amazing my belladonna. I love you”

You were skinnier than before but the ring was still fitting. You guess that one time were you put it off that Dazai got to a jeweller and made him smaller.

“Isn’t it uncomfortable in your seat? The hospital seats are not the most comfortable my love?”

“It’s okay, you are here.”

It would be an wonder if you would survive the night. You’ve gotten so fragile and sick. Both you and Dazai were aware of that. He was with you the moment you got back in the hospital. He never left your side.

“You know... I’m happy.”

“Why?”

“I can spend my last movements with you. I don’t want to leave you.. I don’t want to leave you Osamu, I-“

“It’s okay. We are going to meet again. We will fall in love again, we will marry again. We will have a family and we will be together.”

You were crying, you didn’t wanted to spend your last moments crying. You want to be smilingly for him. You were always smiling for him.

“Y/N... I will live for you.”

You were taken back by his words. You just looked at him with tears falling from your eyes.

“I will protect our friends and you will take care of Oda for me until we met again.”

And then he saw it. Your beautiful smile came back. You were still crying but smiling.

“Okay, I’m going to wait for you with Oda but don’t join us to early!”

“Okay my belladonna. That’s a deal.”

He came laying next to you and for a moment everything was quit. He was listening to your heart beat and you stroke his hair.

“Osamu... I love you.”

Your hand stopped stroking his head and your eyes closed but you were still smiling at him.

“I love you more.”

With that he heard your heart beating for the last time. He pulled your body tight against his own before he started crying. He was only crying for you.

“You lied... it couldn’t be worse.”

[her-culture]

My Top 10 Books of All Time, and Why You Need to Read Them

In my first article for Her Culture, I thought it would be fitting to write about books that have changed my life and shaped my world views in one way or another. My mom was a journalism major, so I guess I could say I got my love of reading from her. She used to read to me every night as a kid and imparted the importance of good literature to me. As a sociology major currently, these were very formative books in my adolescence that not only challenged certain misconceptions about the world, but allowed me to think in a more macroscopic way by reading different perspectives and experiences as well. I put my favorite quote from each book, if it had one, underneath each title—hopefully those will be enough to give you the general gist of each book. These aren’t listed in any particular order, but they are all relatively equally important to me, and it was incredibly hard to narrow it down (stay tuned for honorable mentions at the end):

The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

When I think of this book, I have so many fond and nostalgic memories of adolescence. Even though it was not too long ago, I think this book was really my turning point to begin truly questioning the social facts that govern our society. Although the novel is relatively short, the story holds a much-needed allegory for some of the major plights of Western society: elitism, greed, class, consumerism, etc. I would call this book a buffet of sorts; I say this to mean you can take a plethora of different meanings from Fitzgerald’s relatively straightforward tale. Moreover, I recently learned that Fitzgerald was an Irish immigrant, so the concept of Gatsby’s relentless pursuit to be from East Egg is similar to his own trials and tribulations of fitting into American society—and invariably, not being able to in the end. I really love the imagery and the language in this book as well; essentially, Fitzgerald paints an exquisite portrait of the problem of the consumerist God we worship in America. My favorite imagery in the book is probably the eyes of Dr. T.J. Eckelburg; that’s one of my favorite images ever in literature, actually.

Mrs. Dalloway – Virginia Woolf

“Fear no more the heat of the sun”

This book reminds me of the conversations I’d have with my best friend in high school every day after AP Literature. We’d get coffee and drive around and talk about the various existential topics the book discusses. The book takes place over the course of 24 hours, it essentially covers a middle-aged woman’s retrospective meditation of her life and past decisions as she prepares to throw a party. Although it seems like a simple plot, it delves into ideas about purpose, free will, and even the profound effect strangers can have on your life. I loved the interpolation of other people’s narratives into the story as well; it made the story richer than just Mrs. Dalloway’s narration. Furthermore, I like the stream of consciousness style that you don’t see in many critically acclaimed works, but it makes it feel all the more intimate. Not only do you feel for Mrs. Dalloway, Septimus, and others, but the power of this style of writing makes it seem like you are in that character’s predicament. It reminds me not only of the fragility of life itself, but of the gravity of what you would consider menial everyday interactions can have—the butterfly effect.

Song of Solomon – Toni Morrison

“If you surrendered to the air, you could ride it.”

My mother is specifically to thank for reading this book. She suggested it to me the summer before senior year, and since summer had always been my prime reading time in high school, I read it. Toni Morrison is one of the best writers of the century, without a doubt, and this book is all the proof you need to believe this claim. She created an intricate masterpiece, intertwining various double-entendres—especially with the names of characters, time periods, storylines, and more. Her language is vivid, and every word is meaningful; she has no fillers. Every aspect of the story adds to the jigsaw puzzle that is solved at the end of the book. I’d hate to give any of the plot away, but one of the characters is named Guitar because he’s instrumental to the development of the protagonist, but that’s just one example of her mastery. It explores race, ancestry, colorism, and the power of self as well. This is one of my top favorites of all time, and if I were to order them, this one would without a doubt be close to the top.  

Flowers for Algernon – Daniel Keys

“I don’t know what’s worse: to not know what you are and be happy, or to become what you’ve always wanted to be, and feel alone.”

When I first read this book, I was relatively young, but it still had a profound impact. I think it challenged me to think about the power of sentience and that it’s one of the many things we take for granted. It reminds me a bit of some themes in Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men (an honorable mention), but in my opinion, it’s less cliché in a way. Although it’s technically supposed to be a young adult novel, I would say it has a lot of adult themes, so it was a good stepping stone into adult tragedy. Charly’s connection to Algernon is one of the most poignant relationships in literature, and I do feel like this book gets overlooked frequently when we discuss the greats. On another note, it also caused me to evaluate the power of interactions and relationships with others, as humans are innately relational; this book does a fantastic job of capturing that aspect of life.

Jazzy Miz Mozetta – Brenda C. Roberts

“Okay, young cats, let the beat hit your feet.”

This is the only children’s book in my top 10, but for a good reason. This is another book my mother introduced, but way earlier than the others she suggested, as she would read it to me at night. She’d read it probably 3-5 times a week because this was one of my favorite ones. When I see this book, I have so many fond memories of my mother tucking me in with my matching pajamas and warm milk at night. To this day, I appreciate this book as one of the most incredible children’s books of all time. Roberts’ incredible vision of music, color, and sound made me proud to be black at such a young age, in a world that doesn’t want you to feel comfortable in your own skin. Moreover, you don’t see many children’s books with black protagonists, and this was such a fantastic representation. Especially because I also love music, she did such a good job of creating that through the illustrations. It emphasizes community, music, and living life to the fullest.  

Tuck Everlasting – Natalie Babbitt

“Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.”

Tuck Everlasting was one of the first books that really caused me to examine mortality in a secular sense. I went to church school once a week as a kid, and that was the only space where we discussed life and death in that way, so this was an important introduction to the concept of death altogether, in a sense. We’ve all heard about the fountain of youth at one point or another in our lives, and this novel explores that idea essentially. I also really like the tension between immortality and a normal life, somewhat reminiscent of the Greek myth of Eurydice when Orpheus goes back to the Underworld to retrieve her. This is another book connected to my mother actually, who read it at the same time as me so I would have someone to discuss my reading with and bounce off my ideas. I think this is part of the reason this book resonated so deeply with me; I had an adult to converse complex topics of mortality with.  

The Virgin Suicides

“It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house, with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together.”

The above quote is relatively long compared to the rest, but it’s one of my favorite passages in literature. I love the effervescent, ethereal nature of this book. I almost feel nostalgic reading it, although I didn’t grow up in the 70s, but there’s somewhat of a vintage quality to it. These aspects are kind of similar to Lois Lowry’s book A Summer to Die. If you can get past the gruesome, macabre aspect of the actual storyline—young girls committing suicide—you can bask in Eugenides’ masterpiece. His syntax is honestly unmatched, as well as his symbolism. In my opinion, this is a much better version of the popular young adult novel 13 Reasons Why, as it goes into detail about what led to the suicides and you get a look inside the minds of the girls, but from an outsider perspective (as young boys are the narrators of the novel, along with an occasional third person narrator). As a male, Eugenides encapsulates not only youth but the experience of adolescence as a girl as well. The writing is just beautiful, and that’s all I can say about it. The interesting part is that although I guess this would be categorized as a tragedy and certainly has a melancholy tinge to it, you don’t finish the book feeling sad necessarily. I was unsettled, but I still wouldn’t consider it a tragedy per se. Eugenides’ genre-defying classic is one that needs to be acknowledged as the phenomenal work that it is. To this day, I don’t know if I’ve read a book like this one, in the best way possible.

Slaughterhouse-Five – Kurt Vonnegut

“Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.”

The way this book was introduced to me was as a book “about World War II and aliens,” and that is basically the most accurate summary I’ve ever read. It’s hard to say exactly what the premise of this book is because it really is about a wide array of topics, but it’s all connected, and it makes sense when you read it. It had a huge impact on me because I’ve never read a book as non-traditional as this one. I appreciate Vonnegut because he doesn’t subscribe to anyone’s rules—another genre-bender, one could say. It would be diminishing to this work to say that it’s about existentialism, but it is in a sense. The Tralfamadorians (the aliens in the novel), teach Billy how to look at his life macroscopically, and also about the deceptive nature of time. In Vonnegut’s words, “so it goes.”

Tess of the d’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy

“Beauty lay not in the thing, but in what the thing symbolized.”

I can’t lie, I wasn’t the biggest fan of this book when I started it because I wasn’t sure where it was going. It has a Pride and Prejudice nature to it at the beginning before you delve into the plot that makes it seem sort of outdated, and although it is a timepiece technically, the actual message of the novel is timeless. There’s a lot more than meets the surface in this novel, and the imagery is also incredible. Hardy’s message is essentially about “crass casualty and dicing time” which is basically the notion that random things happen to us at random times and there’s nothing we can do about it. This also counters the notion of free will which is an interesting stance especially for the time this book was written. In fact, when this book was first published it was banned because of the depiction of rape and of secularism as well. At the time it was written (The Scarlet Letter era), the woman was the party at fault if she was raped, so it was met with generally negative feedback at first. Once I finished the book, I was a huge fan just because Hardy went against all norms to write such a tale. I specifically like the idea that Tess essentially saves herself in every scenario in the novel; Hardy knew even in 1891 that she didn’t need a man to save her.

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao – Junot Díaz

“Each morning, before Jackie started her studies, she wrote on a clean piece of paper: Tarde venientibus ossa. To the latecomers are left the bones.”

This book needs to be regarded as one of the best ones of our generation, as well as Junot Díaz as an author. Not only is this book timely, but it is also timeless. I really liked the integration of the actual history of the Dominican Republic into the novel, and also the acknowledgment of the intersection of race, language, history, and culture as the book is written in Spanglish. We don’t read many books in school or any books that garner any major media attention about Afro-Latino comic book nerds and their histories, so it’s important for a number of reasons. Díaz takes us on a long, vibrant journey through many genres, full of culture, and unrefined.

These are my top 10 books, at least as of right now, as the more books I read, the more the list changes. However, many of these will always remain at the top as classics to me. These are all must-reads not just because of how significant they were to me, but because of their respective contributions to literature. Outside of the fact that a few of them aren’t even categorizable into a genre, these books were truly eye-opening and formative for me. If you like to conceptualize the world and read about various topics from free will to mortality, I would highly consider reading at least a few of these, if not all.

Separately, I would like to think of this list as an ode to my childhood, and even more to my mother. She gave me this passion and this insatiable love of literature, so I truly thank her for taking the time to read to me, with me, and even for her suggestions. I can’t thank her enough.

[whtaft]

1-99 you're doing it too this time

I know I deserve this. But. 

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Sugar Boats by Modest Mouse

These Days by Nico

Sleepyhead by Passion Pit

Sleeping Lessons by The Shins

Up from Below by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

My ~ one true love ~ or Ruth Bader Ginsberg

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“When you fill a page, try drafting that section, because writing out your ideas can improve your thinking at every stage of your project.” This is what I get for having the Chicago Manuel of Style out.

4: What do you think about most?

How worried I am about getting a job

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Oh god this is weird without context: “The strange thing is that she somehow thinks that some cat lady's crafts belong in a museum. What makes them significant?”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

With, but not a lot of them

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I have double jointed thumbs

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are all amazing

Boys need to work harder

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

I... don’t believe so? My high school crush once told me that I’m “not the sort of girl people write songs about” which was great for my self-esteem

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I genuinely don’t know

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

YUP

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

NOPE, IT’S ONE OF MY PHOBIAS

13: What’s your religion?

Judaism

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking my dog

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

The Shins

17: What was the last lie you told?

That I was feeling okay

18: Do you believe in karma?

Not really

19: What does your URL mean?

William Howard Taft

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness: I’m very sensitive

Strength: I’m a good writer

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Right now? Travis McElroy

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope

23: How do you vent your anger?

I cry and write something shitty on Tumblr about it

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Tsum tsum!

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chatting

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Yes and no; overall, I’m more okay than not okay

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate the sound of my upstairs neighbors clomping around; love the sound of Monty’s tail whacking something as it wags

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I went to a different college where I was happier

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Yes and yes

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right: pillow

Left: PUPPY DOG

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

I can’t smell anything because allergies

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

@stevebarnacles​‘ blog

Just kidding

This very creepy bed and breakfast in Ohio

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East Coast because I’ve never been to West

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

I don’t like that I’m this way, but Marcus Mumford

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

Dogs

36: Define Art.

Do you like it? Then it’s art.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Ehhh sort of

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Getting colder

39: What time is it?

9:03

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes and no

41: What was the last book you read?

Don’t call me out like this

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

No???

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Unless you count whtaft or mambo, then no

44: What was the last film you saw?

Labyrinth!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

My ear drums rupture every couple years and it’s awful

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Yes, the scary mother fuckers

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

TAZ and MBMBAM

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Bi

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Ofc

50: Do you believe in magic?

Yes, to an extent

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Y U P

52: What is your astrological sign?

Capricorn

53: Do you save money or spend it?

Spend

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

A movie ticket to see Labyrinth

55: Love or lust?

Love

56: In a relationship?

In my dreams

57: How many relationships have you had?

Classified

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

No

59: Where were you yesterday?

Home and the movie theater

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

I am sitting on a blanket that has pink on it

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Hell no

62: What’s your favourite animal?

MONTY

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

... Is this a thing that people have? Because I don’t have any

64: Where is your best friend?

Canada

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@biblionerd07

@hakunahistata

@stevebarnacles

@relenafanel

@n0tdrunk

66: What is your heritage?

Eastern European Jewish/German Catholic

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Just falling asleep

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

He doesn’t have one

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Um. Yes. Why is this phrased this way? It’d be a lot better if it asked if I’d gotten myself off today, which is also yes.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

No

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Get the dog, bring him to the office, and take care of him there until your boss gets annoyed but doesn’t fire you

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

TELL EVERYONE

Go to Disney World

FUCK YEAH

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Hot Patootie from Rocky Horror

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

Classified

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Ummm I’ve never been in one, so I’m not an expert, but I think you gotta be on the same level

77: How can I win your heart?

Like, just be nice to me and I’ll probably fall in love with you

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

No, and it’s a dangerous myth to propagate

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Getting Monty

80: What size shoes do you wear?

6-7

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Probably just my name; I don’t really know of anything else that I want to carry with me like that

82: What is your favourite word?

Monty

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Monty

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

Fuck a duck

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Sugar Boats by Modest Mouse

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Dark green/black/maroon

87: What is your current desktop picture?

It’s of Sora, Pooh, Piglet and Tigger from Kingdom Hearts

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

The Cheeto 

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Who my crush is

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I’d probably just die, let’s be real

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Teleportation

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

I’d like to go back to when I met Sebastian Stan again and wear something different this time

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

The night where I almost committed suicide

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Yo-Yo Ma

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I’m gonna go to NYC to visit @hakunahistata

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Yes

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I can’t remember an instance but I was also a baby, so maybe then

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yup

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

CHILL THE FUCK OUT