#top 3 worst feelings in a dream and top 10 for everything

[the-dark-parade]

WARNINGS! THIS STORY CONTAINS... angst + fluff + lilia×fem reader

A/N: Dear souls, for the moment, thank you for waiting! Once more, I hope my work pleases you. If you are not comfortable with this, feel free to leave. If you would like a version with male reader instead, please request it. Just for your info, my prev fic is still on hiatus. One of these days I'll make a masterlist of my works... Likes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated. I'm already starting part 3, sorry if this story doesn't fit your expectations!

Now, the parade continues its second destination...

Part 2

You're in a shitty story as a mob, what more could go wrong?

(if only this was a dream...)

.............................

...you open your eyes.

You opened your eyes!

You opened your goddamn eyes already, and even pinched yourself! Hard!

Once, twice, thrice, twisted it, pulled it, you basically tried everything you could!

But..

...you just couldn't get out of this dream.

The walls, ceiling, bed, and everything around you just screamed "this is war".

How, you may ask?

Well for starters, you're in.. a tent, it seems. Low quality.

The bedding doesn't even feel like bedding. It's just some fabric over.. grass. Literal. Grass.

But the worst part about this are 3 main things.

You could feel pain from wounds. (1 covers your whole head and 2 others for your arms. They all ache and itch under all those bandages. You didn't want to believe it at first, but fuck it's itchy as hell.)

As if that wasn't enough, you could hear. Too well for comfort. And you may ask how that's a bad thing.

Well it is. A major, major bad thing. You could hear basically everything between an estimated 10-20 meters, but you're not too sure. From other people's heavy breathing to crickets outside, it felt like everything was being mega-phoned into your ears. Even things you never noticed or heard before were at the noise level of people mumbling.

It is absolutely horrible. Your eardrums feel like exploding, (you hope it's not bleeding at this point) but the bandage around your head helps ever so slightly. You curse this newfound ability.

On top of that, you could also smell the blood, rot, and dirt from all directions. (Like your sense of hearing, your sense of smell has never been this good, even if it's just slightly better than your usual sense of smell. It's just that your surroundings stink and you wish you had a nose-block.)

Luckily, you could still sit up, so you did.

And guess what you saw?

Well, it should be obvious. As if the smells that invaded your nose and overwhelmed you wasn't a tell-tale sign already.

And so, you glanced at your surroundings with a swift turn of your head and eyes. Was it just you, but could you see better?

To your not-so-surprising surprise, there were so. many. injured yet beautiful people(?) - in your brain, you understood that they were people (at least in looks) but their ears were pointy.

...

Curiosity kills the cat, huh?

Well you surely understood that idiom the moment you touched your own ears.

With what you sensed through the bandages on your entire right arm, your fears turned out to be true.

... it's pointy.

Your ears are fucking pointy.

Haha. Hahaha.

This is not a fucking dream.

This is not.. a dream, is it?

And if all those things, no, people, no, you suppose they're called faes, are real...

Then.. did you truly die from reading that shitty novel?

...

...oh.

You wonder about your friends and family, (if you even had any in the first place) but decide to suppress those thoughts before you get a panic attack.

Anyways, onto your next move!

So, using your experience of reading so much fanfiction, you know just what to do!

Thus, you muster up my courage and reach out a hand to the lady(?) man(?) fae.

Their face was covered with some sort of mask. And you decide to go with she for pronouns as her hair is long.

After scanning the place with your eyes for a bit, you notice that everyone had some sort of mask beside them.

...exactly like the ones that were in that shitty novel...

"urm... what.. date is it now? And where are we? I'm a bit confused."

...you hope she doesn't see how much you're sweating. Is it even a she? You rack your brain, yet you can't figure it out due to the mask. You just decide to call her "green sheep" cause the mask she's wearing is green, and it's a sheep.

She responds back.. something. You somehow understand what she's talking about even though my human - not human - ears cannot comprehend it.

What you managed to catch was "Briar", exactly the same name as the fae's country in the book.

But what you suppose was slightly better was the date. It was 10 years before the main story would end.

After that would be the d day, the day were you and everyone else in this country die.

It's okay, everything's okay!

You are NOT freaking out!

(...not here, at least.)

...

...you want to cry.

Your injuries still hurt and your bandages still itch. Even after so many days of lying in bed.

(...but it's not like that's the only reason.)

Anyways, you suck it up.

It's the only thing you can do now anyways.

-

-

-

The days pass by pretty slowly. You can't believe it's only been a week since you got here. It feels so much longer than that.

Day after day, you get a new memory of who "you" used to be.

You suppose it's better for you...

Like clockwork, you apply the little amount of ointment you're given, change the bandages on your wounds, resist the urge to scratch, eat, exercise as much as I can, sleep and repeat.

It's not so bad after some time.

...

...haha, who are you joking?

You've resorted to talking (in your head, you're not that big of a weirdo!) to yourself because you're so lonely and have no friends here.

Your hand twitches from time to time because you forget you don't have your phone with you anymore.

Everyone is extremely tense and stressed out, not just you.

At night, you're unable to sleep, and not just because your hearing has gotten exceptionally better.

The clanging of swords, the whispers and the different people being shuffled in day after day keeps you up at night.

And even if you do sleep, all you have are nightmares.

Dreams of the modern life you used to have.

It isn't so unbelievably strange that you miss it now. Anyone in your shoes would. The convenience and comfort it came with was extremely addicting.

The more you think about it, the more you can't sleep.

And thus, you lay awake in bed, eyes open, just hearing the tick of the clock.

How long has it been?

How long will you be here?

You're scared. You're lonely. You want to go home. Badly.

...

...But you can't do a single thing about it, and you start to feel numb and accept your fate. It's highly unlikely at this rate.

You just wish this is all a bad dream.

.............................

A/N: You're in denial and will soon have a mental breakdown hahaha! I'm pretty sure my writing style changed, so sorry if you dislike it. Stay tuned for part 3!! Sorry for the long ass waiting times I'll try to post more often 😔😔😔

It'll take a few more chapters til lilia comes idk though but kinda slow burn??

extra for males:

You wake up and wonder.. is your ding dong still there?!

You check your pants and come to a horrible realization...

IT'S GONEEEEEEE!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

😞😞😞😞😔😔😔😔😔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[salisburyliam]

My WORST to BEST ranking for Heaven's Secret 2 LIs

Oh boy I finally did it!!!! never want to read this book ever again, lmao

NOTE 1: We all know that HS2 has its flaws —S1 feels like a fever dream— but personally one that really irks me is not being able to choose whether or NOT you want to marry your LI. I mention this because many LIs routes are (negatively) affected by this sudden marriage imo

NOTE 2: Winchesto you deserve so much better than Rebecca.

7. Dino - He's never been a character I've been particularly fond of, but at least in HS1 he had some narrative importance (the dynamic with Lucifer was a lot of fun too). His relevance in HS2 is, well, zero & I personally don't feel the chemistry between Vicky and him at all. That being said. Of all the LIs, the only one with whom the wedding makes absolute sense is with Dino - he's 100% husband material.

Being good should not be equivalent to being boring… but in Dino's case, it is. 4/10

6. War - His dynamic with Vicky is… okay-ish? I guess??? They are a hot couple (I personally love his design & his laugh is sexy af) but the connection is lacking & there is no emotional intimacy whatsoever. They keep saying they're in love but are theeey? You don't know each other. Also, if you decide not to k*ll him and don't romance him later in s2 he's literally just a background character. 

I don't think this man is ready to be a husband - he should get therapy first. 5/10

5. Hunger - If it were a matter of rating characters, Hunger would be in the top three. His first appearance is one of my favorite scenes in the book along with the board game moment, lmao. But if it comes to rating him as a LI… The relationship feels rushed, to say the least. Marrying a character who appears halfway through the second season makes no sense at all - their wedding scene is just weird.

You guys met like five episodes ago. How about we start by dating first? 6/10

his smile is unsettling lol 4. Malbonte - Replaying this book so many times has made me really appreciate Malbonte. A soldier who will do whatever it takes to win. I love how everyone assumes that he always, always, has a plan (he usually does). But as a LI? His main emotion is rage and pure indifference. As a husband for life, I don't understand how that could work: I can imagine Vicky asking him how his day was and Malbonte's only response being '….' 😐🙄 Go boy give us nothing!

Seriously though. I really love him as a character, but he needs to join War in that therapy thing. 7/10

3. Astaroth - The first interactions are awful & personally his sprite doesn't help either (he's literally a male M*ley Cyrus) but he has so much chemistry with Vicky, it surprised me. Their relationship feels organic as you progress, but just like the rest of the characters that appear in the second book, it all feels rushed. The wedding option should ONLY have been available for characters that appeared in the previous book - with new ones it just feels unearned.

Still, it had potential. 8/10

2. Mimi - The only female LI (how's that legal) and one of my favorites. tbh I think she's TOO good for Vicky??? lmao. A character who is impossible not to adore (even judgy Rebecca gives her approval), in-laws anyone would love to have, and a route that is equal parts endearing and passionate. I confess I kinda miss her sprite from the first book tho

The only reason she's not at the top of the list is the motherf*cker below. 9/10 

1. Lucifer - Simply put, they feel like soulmates (he was my LI in the first book so that also plays into it). I haate his behavior in S1, but even with that rocky start the dynamic between Vicky and Lucifer is, and will always be, one of my favorites. They have everything: chemistry, banter, passion, vulnerability moments... I love the contrast of the Lucifer from HS1 with the Lucifer in the final episode. That's growth.

I sincerely hope the third book focuses on their married life and, hopefully, Lucifer being a girl dad 😍😍 10/10

CREDIT

[candyistoosweet]

Now since I see how much you're interested in hellcrew...Who's YOUR fav character???

Oh my fav hellcrew characters are A LOT! Almost all of them!! Well I just can't pick only one, so I'll just text it down with ranking◝(*'◡'*)◜

1. Kelly Duffy

2. Cian Lynch

3. Seamus Wrynn

4. Seraphina Shaw

5. Lucien Delaney

6. Sullivan Sweeney

7. Julius Doherty

8. Octavian Doherty

9. Devlin Doherty

10. Duvessa Doyle

11. Killian Lynch

...Haha, I'll explain in order! First off, Kelly is my fav cuz...I don't know I love his design so much! I love how he looks, and...the lack of infos or stories about him makes me feel more attracted to his mysterious aura I guess?

Next, Cian! Well, Cian is definetely at the top tier since he has so many best traits out of HC casts, don't you think? He's good with kids, cooking, social, looks handsome....so many great characteristics to tell! Definetely #1 or #2!

Seamus...I love himmm I love his aura, I really appreciate how he shows his personallity!! His face and hairstyle is also very calm and interesting...only if his way of describing 'love' as his photos weren't so twisted, I could've just gave him #2 tier, honestly.

Sera...Actually @gracilissart 's artwork of his characters and their introductions are favorite out of three creators' works in the Hellcrew project. I'm a straight girl and Sera makes me into lesbian time to time LOL🫣 I love her design!!! 8/10.

I can explain. I can explain about Lucien...I like the way how easy it is to say out his name. Lucien...And also, his job occupation is the same dream job I want! A pediatric psychiatrist! At least his JOB doesn't describe what he is like...does it? 5~6/10.

Sullivannnn!! His nationality reminds me of mine! He's part chinese, and my nationality is korean which kinda relates as the same asians. I also love how tanned his skin is compared to others, it gives unique vibe!! 7/10!

Despite how much fanarts I draw out of him, Actually Julius doesn't reaches to the highest tiers. I love his design, backstories or the way he kills, but maybe his personallity is the reason I'd say? I love him!

Octavian Doherty. Oh gosh, I won't lie, his first design before looked a lot alike Jason The Toymaker, the creepypasta. But since his design and settings changed a lot, I like this new version 10000 times better!! I just cannot understand what he talks when he texts, that's affecting his middle tier. 6/10!

Devlin? Oh he's nice...Yeah...But I don't like the way he've treated his girlfriends before, 4/10.

I don't know anything about Duvessa, just except that she's Killian's favorite woman, her hairstyle, and her eye color!! But at least she gets along with Sera and she's pretty so...I'll just place her above the worst fav tier. No rate comments yet since I don't know her yet!

Killian....Well, I know he's the best and all, but I just don't think he's my type character...Notvtrying to say he's bad character. He's still awesome, there're already too many characters who attracts me better than him, which shows him below them as the result...7/10!!!

Thereee's everything I'd say for now. I bet you guys have been shocked of how high rate I gave Lucien, but....🫠 I just admire his job. Don't blame me, it's one of my dream job ᕙ༼ ≖ᴥ≖༽ᕗ 

Characters:

Julius, Killian, Cian, Duvessa, Sullivan, Octavian, Kelly - @sanityshorror

Devlin, Lucien - @scarfaxia

Seamus, Seraphina - @gracilissart

[spicyvampire]

Do you have any favorite characters from bl series or bl dramas that you watched that came out this year? Who are your top 10 or 20 if there are any?

Hey anon, gonna admit there I blue-screened a little and forgot what shows even aired in this year other than 4M and MSI but hey that's why I have a list that I keep updated so here goes nothing

4MINUTES (2024)

I don't think that one is surprising anyone here, there just no way I'm recovering from this show anytime soon, not only because of the originality of the plot/story and the phenomenal acting but also the cinematography and the soundtrack and the production value, like this one will go down in history books for sure, I don't think I'll ever get over comparing their pre-dead scenarios to what happened in reality, this show genuinely made my heart ache, this show provoked chemical unbalance in my body I'm not even kidding, more then once I've wanted to straight throw up cuz my heart was hurting too much, just in my room gifing making cat that want to throw up noises

My Stand In (2024)

Chinese story with a Thai production is a lethal mix ngl, and the first show to teach us this was definitely MSI, not only was the story just crazy to begin with but the execution of it was also fucking bonkers, like goddamn a plot point of this was the guy sneezing during sex like what more do you want

The Sign (2023-2024)

Didn't technically start airing this year but it did finish this year so I'm counting it, this show is just way too good for it to not get a mention on every type of posts like this that I do, you got bootcamp gays, and then solving cases gay, and you got reincarnating gays with a bonus of genders (that's all I'm gonna say), and you got fucking water dragons and fire bird boy literally what more could you possibly want here, if this doesn't convince you nothing will

Unknown (2024)

Shows adaptation of Priest books have a way of fucking with you on god, this is yet again another Chinese writer but this is a Taiwanese production with Taiwanese actors, this show is just so fucking painful man, episode 5-6-7-8 could be used as torture devices, I'm not even kidding, waterboarding got NOTHING on this 4 episodes, anyways Wei Qian passenger princess <3

Meet You at the Blossom (2024)

Speaking of Chinese story with Thai production, this one is just that but with Chinese actors too and boy oh boy, every trope is in there, we got goddamn aphrodisiac sex in the first two episodes, one of the main characters is bisexual & stupid with his wife is a like war criminal wanted in every part of the country and is also like a prince? like i-??? absolutely a great watch

Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (2024)

This is still airing but it's just so good it's gotta be on the list, The batman of the Law experimenting homosexual thoughts because of his puppy-like swamp guy con man are just too good to not mention, I think this sentence just said everything I need to so I'm not gonna add anything else

Century of Love (2024)

Speaking of man experiencing gay thoughts, there is a grandpa who is not too happy about the wet dreams he is having about a man but he is gonna have to suck it up, this show has a strong lakorn (soap opera) and somewhat traditional vibes I feel, and it is extremely funny and frankly the episodes pass faster than you would think

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (2024)

One of those shows you will never really recover from, I can't even talk about it, I think Hwang Da Seul should do comedies next I do not have the time to spend 5hrs on the floor every episode please and thank you ma'am

Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart! (2024)

Literally the worst heists you've ever seen, they are just so bad at this and one of them is supposed to be a master thief!!! Feared by all!! but my god are these idiots lovable, pretty sure one of the mains proposed like twice in 3 episodes he is that whipped, also they adopted a child after sleeping together one (1) time, talk about uhaul lesbians, but seriously this show is well written enough, and get it's moral points across well most of the time, just wish they killed Arun's dad

The Time of Fever (2024)

I'm not much of a coming of age story person, but even I cannot deny how much of a masterpiece this show is, ngl it wasn't what I was expecting when I learned we were getting this side couple's prequel but hell did I enjoy every second of this, chemistry was crazy, the acting was phenomenal, the story and the cinematography, this bitch asked the other if he would still love him if he was a worm and the man said fucking yes!!! and I was hanging on every fucking word, truly one of the shows of the year

[smilebackwards]

fic writer meme

thanks to @vinelark for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? ~155. Approximate count because some are podfics of my work back when it was the convention to make the writer also an author. And I have some stuff posted in an anonymous collection which I don't think get counted in works despite counting into other stats.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 487,897. I will hopefully be cracking half a million this year!

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently Batman, Star Wars, Foundation, Shadowhunters, Lord of the Rings, whatever random thing catches my attention.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Double Blind [Daredevil/MCU] Exit Strategy [Batman] Surveillance [Batman] Extension [Batman] Victory Braid [Lord of the Rings]

5. Do you respond to comments? Very sporadically. Mostly for comments where there was something specific I wanted to respond to or comments from someone who prompted/inspired the fic. I feel a bit bad that I don't because I love all comments but it's a lot of energy for me that I could instead be putting into more writing.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably Everything I Build (Is Breaking Down).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'm a sucker for a happy ending so there's a lot to choose from! Maybe Rearrange.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not a lot, but people have left some truly unhinged stuff on Exit Strategy. I delete/block where needed.

9. Do you write smut? I'm not good at it. There might be like 3 sentences and a fade to black.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written? I write a lot of fusion AUs but not many crossovers. There's probably some weird ones in my older stuff!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Full reposting, not that I know of. I did find that someone basically rewrote one of my fics, with extremely specific details, and that didn't feel great.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, many of my fics have been translated :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? A lot of my fics are based on prompts so kind of collaborative in that way, but the actual words on the page writing bit is pretty solitary for me.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? X-Wing. Iconic.

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Still pained by my Les Mis Olympics AU WIP.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I do a fun mix of humor and angst in my writing. Maybe word selection, I am obsessed with finding the best word with the most appropriate connotations. And perseverance, I will finish fics years later.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Extreme slowness. All vibes, no plot. Cannot write fic longer than 15k.

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics? I think generally I prefer to write in English and dialogue tag that someone said something in a different language. Occasionally I do the italics to indicate or don't do italics but use Google Translate which inevitably goes poorly. This reminds me that someone sent me a translation fix comment and I need to go see if I can find that.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Yeah, it was probably Harry Potter. I recently found an old spiral notebook where like 14 year old me wrote in colored markers and it is the worst thing ever, I should burn it, but on the other hand it reminds me that I'm kind of proud that I've kept at writing so long and improved.

20. Favorite fic you have written? I think Misson Report. I have an enduring love for Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon and I like the cadence of it.

tagging @dreaming-marchling, @andrea-lyn, and anyone else who might be interested!

[daitranscripts]

The Verchiel March Pt. 1

A Favor

Sera Masterpost

The PC approaches Sera in her room.

Sera: Hey, you! I have an “Inquisitor favor” to ask. Just a little thing, really. A little march-around for some of your people. It’s nothing for you, right?

Dialogue options:

General: Resources are precious. [1]

General: I’m listening. [2]

General: Details first. [3]

1 - General: Resources are precious. PC: I can’t promise anything. We need every resource for the task at hand. Sera: Everything has to have a purpose, right? Well, don’t worry, this will, too. [4]

2 - General: I’m listening. PC: All right, let’s hear what you’ve got. Sera: Jump right in, huh? I like that. [4]

3 - General: Details first. PC: I won’t agree to anything without details. Sera: Smart of you. I wouldn’t dream of wasting your super-important time. [4]

4 - Scene continues.

Sera: It’s a Red Jenny thing. I got a tip that some noble stiffs are arguing over Verchiel. Land squabble. They’re getting little people beat up, so I need you to go to your big table and send some people to walk through town.

PC: Just walk through?

Sera: Just walk through. Easy, right?

5 - Dialogue options:

Investigate: Who told you about this? [6]

Investigate: Who would I be working for? [7]

Investigate: What’s in it for me? [8]

General: I’ll have people take a look. [9]

General: I can’t do this now. [10]

6 - Investigate: Who told you about this? PC: Was this a tip from one of your “friends”? Sera: Not a Jenny. Just normal angry people getting sick of being in the middle. I don’t usually hear about things this far away, but having a friend like you is like getting real big ears.

Sera (Dalish PC): Bigger than normal, I guess, because we both… never mind. [back to 5] Sera (non-Dalish PC): Bigger ears, I guess. Shut up. [back to 5]

7 - Investigate: Who would I be working for? PC: Who is asking for this? Sera: I’m asking, because I heard people complaining. See, when nobles fight, it’s not them. It’s their little people stuck in the middle. It’s like a polite war, so no one pays attention. But if you march through, the people up top feel threatened, too. Stuff like this is always happening. Good sovereigns to be made if you’re one of the few who notice. [back to 5]

8 - Investigate: What’s in it for me? PC: What does the Inquisition get out of this? Sera: Nobles think everyone is out to get them, so when your helmets march through, both sides’ll think the other’s your ally. Both get scared, both make deals. Worst case, you get a little bump among the people just because they see you active. Can’t promise anything, but something will happen. Just like always. [back to 5]

9 - General: I’ll have people take a look. PC: All right, Sera. I’ll have someone look into it. Sera: It’s fun, right? Being important without doing a thing? Well, not much of a thing. Not everything has to be torn skies and ancient arseholes. Every little thing makes a difference somewhere. Scene ends.

10 - General: I can’t do this now. PC: I can’t commit people to something like this just out of the blue. Sera: Fair enough, I suppose. I mean, you’re busy. It’s hard to find time to tell people to do one thing. That was me saying the opposite of what I meant, yeah? Because this is easy? Never mind. I bet it’ll stew for a while if you change your mind. Idiots don’t calm down on their own. Scene ends.

If the PC talks to Sera again after declining the quest Sera: You ready to listen to that territory squabble thing in Verchiel? It’s a pissy noble thing. [5]

Next: Deal Gone Bad

[lucy90712]

Marc Marquez- Enemies

Signing for the pramac team and getting to race in MotoGP was something I'd dreamed of for many years and I was so excited about it but it has turned out to be my worst nightmare. You see when I got to race once in the class as a replacement rider I managed to make an enemy without really trying who has been ruining my life now that I'm here permanently. I thought that I was racing well and being respectful of everyone there at the time but clearly Marc Marquez didn't agree or found some other reason to dislike me because now he really seems to hate me. Even when I went back to moto2 I was always hearing his opinion on my racing and he seemed to be friends with everyone else but me which was really frustrating as I just wanted to be civil with him I mean we didn't have to be friends but no he chose enemies. That didn't change one bit when I moved to MotoGP if anything it got worse as it always seems like he pulls silly manoeuvres just on me during races or will pull up behind me when doing practice starts just to psych me out.

Last season I let him get the best of me towards the end and said and did some stupid things which I really regret but I'm determined not to do the same this season. I have moved up to the factory Ducati team this year after doing pretty well last season and I'm determined to show them what I can do and prove that it was the right decision to give me the ride. So far this season I've done pretty well not finishing outside the top 10 apart from one time the brakes broke and I had to jump off the bike and getting a few podiums but it's been a struggle to adapt to the bike as it has so many different features but recently I feel like I've been doing better especially as I was just a tenth off the win at the last race. At this race I'm determined to finally get my first win with the team and get them some good points for the championship.

Typically this weekend we are at Sachsenring where both me and Marc are really good. The team have been telling me not to have expectations as the track isn't really suited to the bike but I'm determined to do well here and show Marc that he has some serious competition. Since I moved to Ducati me and Marc have become each other main rivals as we both end up on about the same lap times and roughly in the same positions in the race and now he's just a few points ahead in the championship which I'm looking to close even more in this race. We are yet to go out on track but I'm really feeling confident and I've been watching the last few years races in between to study the track as well as where the bike seems weak so I know where I can and can't push which I'm hoping will play to my advantage as long as I've interpreted things correctly.

The media attention this weekend has been insane and I've done more interviews than ever all because this is where they believe they will really see mine and Marc's rivalry come to the surface. Usually I wouldn't like too much attention but I've been trying to use it to my advantage and get my name out there as a serious contender for the championship fight. The biggest problem with this is that there are constantly cameras in my face like now that we are preparing for fp1 there is at least 4 cameras on my garage with 3 of them focussed directly on me which is an issue as they always break my focus when I'm trying to get into the zone. Eventually I had enough and just sat on the bike in front of the garage with my helmet on to help block everything else out until the team were ready for me to go.

Like always I was one of the first out on track and set an early lap time before coming in again to see how it compares to what others did. My time was pretty good but Pecco was a few tenths quicker which meant there was room to improve so I hoped back on the bike and head down pit lane but when I turned around to make sure I wasn't too close to anyone Marc was coming out his garage right behind me. Generally I don't mind him following me as it means I'm faster and he wants to use me as a marker or for slipstream but this weekend I didn't want him to as he probably has a slight edge on me so using my slipstream would only make him faster but I guess that's what racing is all about. After another set of laps I came in to check the data before one last time attack and just as I got in they put a replay of one of my laps where Marc got incredibly close behind in a corner and was inches away from taking me out, it was hard to watch it was that close but luckily I didn't notice actually on track so I didn't lose focus.

~~~~~~~~~~

Every other practice ended much the same way with Marc following me around even when I pulled out of a lap he would do the same just to stick with me. His little plan wasn't working though as I have the quickest lap time going into qualifying with him 4th. Through the weekend I've been predicted to get pole which I would love but Pecco is also looking really good and seeing as we have the same bike there's a good chance he could beat me to it. For some reason this weekend I'm really feeling the nerves which is unusual as I mostly only get nervous right before the start of a race not for qualifying but today I'm all over the place. My nervousness must be quite obvious as the team have been trying to help keep me calm and even Pecco has been trying to help which was sweet but it hasn't really worked I'm still just as nervous which isn't what I want when trying to get my first pole position.

As qualifying got closer I watched q1 to see the lap times and who was coming through and their times weren't that near what I knew I could do so that calmed my nerves a little but when it was time to get on the bike all the nerves came right back. For qualifying the team wanted me to go out alone first before coming back in and going out with Pecco so we could help each other which I was fine with as it would be good for the team if we could both qualify on the front row. The plan quickly went wrong when I left the garage and Marc followed right behind me for the whole outlay and then got even closer when we both started our first flying laps. This didn't got well for him though as he went in too fast on one corner and had to hold back a bit while I set the fastest time in the session and then slowed down so I could go back to the pit which I did and the team went over the plan again. I went out first with Pecco right behind me as he was currently 5th but as we were going down pit lane Marc cut in between us and I wanted to slow down to get back to position but I didn't want a penalty so I had to keep going and hope that Pecco could use Marc as his target instead of me.

All of that threw me off my first lap a little bit and I made a few mistakes but I had one more go at it so I put my head down and forgot all about everything around me and focussed on doing a good lap. As I crossed the line I felt good but I had no idea where I actually qualified as there were more people still to taken the checkered flag and most of them had red sectors from what I could see on the screen. Getting round to the practice start area I kept checking every screen until everyone had crossed the line and I was still on pole. I actually got pole position, my first pole position at probably the most important race for me which felt so good as I've been waiting for this day for forever. While checking the screen I saw that Pecco got 2nd and Marc was 3rd which meant that hopefully I had a bit of protection at the start of the race from Marc and his antics.

Getting into parc ferme the whole team were excited and they all congratulated me even if they were part of Pecco's side of the garage which juts goes to show how close the entire team is. Pecco himself came over to congratulate me too because as much as we are rivals on track we are good friends off track and always happy for one another even if it means getting beaten. Marc on the other hand wasn't quite as nice he simply came over and patted my back before walking to his interview without saying a word which has become the norm with him even when I make an effort to properly congratulate him. Just when I thought that I would be done with his antics for the day I had to do my interview and the first thing they asked was my response to a comment Marc had made about how I wouldn't be a threat in the race as I was really pushing just to put that lap time in. Hearing what he said really hurt as when I have worked to hard to get to where I am right now and to get my first pole position is something I've been excited about since I joined the class and to have it ruined because of one stupid comment is really annoying. Not to mention that when I was younger I really looked up to Marc as he was achieving great things and breaking records which is what I dreamed of doing so for him to hate me so much for seemingly no reason ruined all those childhood memories of watching races and wanting to do what he did.

~~~~~~~~~~

After many interviews and press conferences all questioning my ability to hang on in the race or asking about Marc I wasn't excited about my pole position anymore and I'm still not even now that the race is starting in under and hour. I just can't bring myself to be excited about it when I know how tough the race is going to be and that everyone's eyes will be in me to see if I succumb to Marc's predictions. Usually before a race I'm a bit nervous but adrenaline usually takes over and makes me excited to get out on the bike but today I'm the opposite there isn't a single shred of excitement I'm just dreading having to go out there in case I fail and ruin the good reputation I have built for myself. To calm myself down I often watch whatever race is on before and today is no different but while stood at the pit wall I found my mind drifting to thinking about how I would take each corner and what I would do if I was overtaken at a certain part of the track which is not at all what I was going for.

Eventually it came time for the race to start and all the mechanics had left the grid meaning it was all down to me now and no one could do anything to help me. Luckily the warm up lap was first which helped me to feel more confident as the bike felt good just like it had all weekend despite changing a few things for the race. Once back in my place on the grid the lights came on and I watched them closely waiting until they finally disappeared which is when I set off. My start was pretty good but the bike was a little out of control into the first corner but I kept it together and came out the first corner still in first which was great but it meant I had no idea who was behind and if Marc had managed to pass Pecco or if someone else entirely was there. By the 3rd corner I really got into the race and forgot about who might be behind me and just focussed on myself and my race as otherwise I knew I'd start to make mistakes which is not what I want to do.  

After 5 laps Marc caught up to me and kept attempting to overtake but he could never make it past as I either out-braked him or simply didn't let him past which made the crowd cheer every time which spurred me on to keep going as they enjoyed the fight and so did I. For once I was winning the battle with Marc as usually he can get the best of me but today I'm not going to let it happen this is my race and I won't settle for second just to not ruffle some feathers. After a few more laps Marc made a mistake and went incredibly wide which I took advantage of to create a few tenths gap which made me feel a lot more comfortable. The gap increased lap by lap for a good majority of the race but in the last 5 laps it started to close no matter how hard I pushed my tyres were just gone and I was losing grip. As much as I didn't want to I had to let Marc catch me and hope that I could do what I did earlier and hope that the tyres didn't let me down.

Marc quickly caught me and passed a few times but each time got him back almost instantly that was until he went up the inside when there wasn't really a gap for him. Instantly I felt myself losing control and the next thing I knew I went tumbling into the gravel eventually stopping with Marc's bike on top of my ankle which was throbbing with pain. As much as I was in a lot of pain I was more angry than anything as I was on to win my first race but as usual Marc had to go ahead and ruin it by making a stupid manoeuvre. He ran over and attempted to pick his bike up and I wanted to tell him to go away but I wanted the bike off my foot more so I let him try although in the end he needed help from the marshals who took what felt like forever to arrive. Once the bike was off my foot Marc helped me walk to the moped that was waiting for us which he drove to the medical centre where my team were waiting to help me. They assessed me in the medical centre and I had just dislocated my ankle which was a relief as everyone in the team was worried it was broken but I hadn't and I should be able to recover quickly enough for the next race.

When I left the medical centre Marc was sat outside waiting so when I came down the steps he tried to talk to me but my crew chief stopped him as he knows about our rivalry and how much Marc annoys me but for once I actually wanted to talk to him and see what on earth was going through his head when he made that move. We went back to my motorhome so I could sit and rest my ankle and so we could talk in private but it was awkward as we both sat down in complete silence for a few moments not being used to being in the same room as each other.

"Y/n I'm so sorry about that I shouldn't have gone for that gap and I feel so bad that I hurt you" Marc said breaking the silence

"I'm not bothered about this race as much as it's frustrating I just want to know why you hate me so much and don't tell me you don't because it's so obvious" I said just waiting answers once and for all

"You aren't going to believe me when I say it" Marc comment

"We'll just go ahead and say it and we'll find out if I believe you" I quipped urging him to spit it out

"Well when you first came in as a replacement and I saw you during media I thought you were amazing but then you were better than me and I felt threatened as people kept comparing us and saying you were giving me a run for my money and I hated that so I then hated you" he explained

"Wait so just because I was better you hated me?" I questioned

"Yeah and it didn't help that I thought you were incredibly beautiful and I didn't want to catch feelings so I pushed you away in anyway possible which didn't work at all because I ended up catching feelings" he added

It took me by surprise that he liked me in that way because when we first met I was attracted to him but because he had been so awful to me I had pushed those feelings to the back of my mind as I thought he clearly didn't feel the same. Hearing him say that made me relive the first time I met him and how I said to my friends that I was going to struggle to focus if he was around. Oh how things changed very quickly but those thoughts didn't go away they were just overshadowed by the rivalry we both had.

"You know I felt the same when we both met and I would have loved to be friends at the very least but I couldn't take the way you treated me" I explained to him

"Can we maybe try this again and go out to dinner or something even if it's just as friends to get to know each other and forget about this rivalry?" He asked

"I'm up for that but if you knock me off like that again it's all over" I joked

We both hugged each other and agreed to do out together when I was feeling better s d if you'd have told me that I would be happy about that just a few hours ago I would have laughed at you but here we are. It felt good that we had seemingly made up and could put this stupid rivalry behind us and become friends or even maybe more if all goes well which I wouldn't be against.

[kakashihasibs]

the character everyone gets wrong

sweaty soggy noodle man kakashi is who this is all going to be about so. I don't think everyone gets him wrong. a lot of people do but it's usually bc they're too horny to care lol

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

have you seen him? have you felt his vibes? he is lazy by nature and recoils away from most physical contact that isn't necessary to do his job (and even he doesn't seem to enjoy it). there are like 7 total people he even lets see his face (while knowing it is his face) and most of them are dead by the time he is 13. hang out? sure. do nice domestic couple things? sounds lovely. get naked and fuck? so an enemy can kill him or a loved one while he's distracted? no. he probably has tried scheduling his shits and showers with gai so he's never actually vulnerable. he's also so ace.

Aubu kakashi: "Tenzō I need you to stand outside the bathroom while I shit." baby tenzō: on it boss (thinks this is completely normal bc he is also in anbu)

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

uhhh that kakashi would not only have sex but would want you to call him daddy. that nearly 50 year kakashi who has never worn sunscreen in his life shouldn't actually look old/older. that a young looking kakashi is a health looking kakashi.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

lol that insinuation that looking young is healthy

5. worst discord server and why

i have never been in a discord server longer than a few days. idk.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

facebook dude bro fans whoops i misread this. i thought it just said fans. but shipping fans? idk kakairu is a notp for me but the fans aren't overly annoying? maybe the painfully ooc readerx shippers. I haven't seen many in a while tho so

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Iruka lol but only when shipped with kakashi. annoying loud-mouth chunin. whatever dude.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

kakashi fucks and gai doesn't

9. worst part of canon

it's naruto man. everything after the land of waves arc lol

10. worst part of fanon

the bumbling husband and nagging wife characterizations from the kakairu fanon.

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

bruh lots idk lol

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

tenzō T-T

13. worst blorboficiation

i'm pro blorbo. i am rotating these fictional men in my mind at all times.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

i don't know.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

fangs v-v and scars.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

people who love kakashi but don't give a shit about gai. those two are like a packaged deal in my mind. can't have one without the other. they are eternal rivals after all.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

sometimes i just really need a deep dive into kakashi's head. i love the character study type stuff.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

younger gai and tenzō bumping into each other bc they're both watching kakashi stand at the memorial stone bc they're both worried.

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

there is nothing i am mad/ashamed/horrified about but if you're wondering yes i do enjoy the fanarts of kakashi in bondage. lol

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

the flashbacks are out of control. my memory isn't great but it's not that fucking bad holy shit girl

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk i feel like the parts of fandom i interact with are pretty realistic about how good something in Naruto is

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

Yaknow how Obito's dream that naruto sees is Obito is back in konoha and becoming hokage but Rin is still dead? like what does obito wish had changed? I think it's if Minato had recognized him. I think Obito was actually praying and hoping for Minato to realize who he was fighting. Obito had a seal on his heart. Minato could have saved him if Minato pulled his head out of his ass for more that 5 mins at a time.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

none. my kakashi stubbornness knows no bounds

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idk kakashi discourse is easy for me to ignore.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

none. i love hatefulness drama and kakashi.

[yujo-nishimura]

The Escape - Part 39

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 - Part 26 - Part 27 - Part 28 - Part 29 - Part 30 - Part 31 - Part 32 - Part 33 - Part 34 - Part 35 - Part 36 - Part 37 - Part 38

"Wait, he asked you guys for help?" you exclaimed, your voice filled with complete surprise.

"Yes," Buggy confirms, his tone carrying a mix of vulnerability and honesty. "I knew I couldn't rescue you on my own, and I had doubts that you would come with me if I had shown up in Alabasta alone..."

You gaze at Buggy, still grappling with disbelief. Trusting Luffy's words comes more easily to you than trusting Buggy after everything that has happened.

"It wasn't easy for me to set aside my pride and ask that damned straw hat for help," Buggy continues. "But I'm glad I did, because they eventually saved you."

Silence envelops you both, the only sounds being the rhythmic crashing of the waves serving as the backdrop to this encounter.

"Thank you, Luffy," you finally manage to express, a smile gracing your lips. Luffy simply nods and walks away, declaring, "I'll eat a bit more and then take a nap. You two have a good night, and Buggy, don't you dare try to steal her away from us again!"

As the straw hat pirate departs, leaving you alone with Buggy, you find yourself falling to your knees, feeling the warmth of the sand against your skin. Pressing your hands against the ground, you let the weight of everything sink in.

"So, you had planned to sell me, but then realized you didn't want to, yet you couldn't prevent damn Crocodile from taking me away," you speak, your voice filled clarity now. "And to top it all off, you needed someone else's help to rescue me. That is a despicable act, Captain Buggy."

You keep your gaze lowered, doing your best to avoid looking at him, as you feel him take a seat next to you. Emotionally strained, you're teetering on the edge of losing control. 

"I've admitted that I'm a scumbag, the worst of the pirates out there," Buggy says, his voice filled with remorse. "The least I can do is ask for your forgiveness. But I don't expect you to actually grant it..."

You take a deep breath before continuing, your voice laced with the weight of your thoughts. "You know what the hardest part of all this was?"

"What?" he asks, his voice carrying genuine curiosity and a touch of kindness, likely grateful that you haven't cut off all communication with him.

"The hardest part was not dwelling on what happened to you and why. I lay in that damned bed in Alabasta, pondering what I had done to upset you so much that you would betray me. I remembered the pain I inflicted upon myself in front of you. I recalled the manipulation I attempted. I almost felt like you were right to rid yourself of me..."

Finally, you raise your gaze to meet his, tears welling up in your eyes, your face contorted with sadness.

"But I loved you, and it tore me apart not knowing why you abandoned me. And now it hurts even more that you've come here to apologize when I had finally resolved to forget about you and move on."

"You...love me?" Buggy's eyes widen in disbelief, his entire countenance undergoing a sudden transformation. His body language shifts, openly directed towards you.

"There, I said it!" you groaned, frustration pulsing through your veins as you punch your fist into the sand. Feeling utterly ridiculous, you decided to escape. Summoning the last remnants of your energy, you rise to your feet, intending to turn your back on the clown, face the Going Merry, and leave him behind to start anew with Luffy, as you had always dreamed of.

But after taking just two steps, you feel Buggy grab hold of you, swiftly detaching his upper body to encircle you with his arms, halting your movement. His warm breath brushes against your ear, and the gentle stubble of his chin grazes your neck.

"Don't go," he whispers. "What if I told you that I love you too?"

[howhow326]

I wanna draw my CtL character concept that I made but college is beating my behind so have his character sheet

Name: Timothy Whistle

Concept: Night-time sound & silence

Virtue: Prudence

Vice: Sloth

Seeming: Darkling

Kith: Nightsinger

Court: Winter

Backstory: Timothy is 18 year old highschool student that plays the Flute but is unsure of his actual skill. His Parents and band mates think he's fine, but he is thinking of quiting before college so he can major in science. A few months before graduation, maybe the night before a concert, Timothy decides to practice his Flute outside during the night. Worst mistake of his life. He dosen't know what rule he broke. Maybe he was playing too loud, or maybe he shouldn't have been playing on the night of the full moon. But one way or another, Timothy was taken by a Kindly One that fiercely punishes rule-breakers. For the crime of whatever, Timothy was to live in a land of Nightmares and play the music of the night. He dosen't know how long he was sitting on a tree branch playing wind howls and screams on his flute, or who heard him. But he does know that he plaued so long that his actual flute broke. He knew that not playing more night-time sounds would be another rule broken, another punishment, another place to be spirited away too that would scare him witless. But he could not, would not, do that again... So Timothy screamed at the top of his longs, creating the same horrifying sounds that his keeper obeyed him to. Timothy could have been stuck there forever, but a single flicker of light made him wake up: a vision of him playing a song of hope and joy made him remeber who he used to be. As strangely as he arrived, Timothy snuck his way out of that land of Nightmares and into the Hedge. But as his hope grew, so did his despair. Timothy's body had long ago merged with the shadows of the night, turning him from Tan to VantaBlack. Even worst, Timothy's mouth had disappeared, as if all the singing and screeching had allowed the darkness to convert it to nothingness. Timothy wanted to scream... and he did. Just as the darkness had followed him, so too did the music of the night. Timothy was forever silent, and silence was loud enough to be his new voice. Eventually, Timothy finnaly made his way back home, but home had changed. As if he couldn't be punished enough, a copy had taken his place during his months long durance. His only imperfection was that he was too perfect: a perfect student, a perfect friend, and a perfect musician. Timothy's parents believed that he had overcome his self-doubt and realized his inner talent, while the real Timothy stared at them through a window. The copy was so perfect that not even Timothy could bring himself to hate him, because Timothy could feel everything he felt and learned that he was pure. Before he could fall into a pit and never return, the Winter Court found him. Now a member, Timothy must somehow reclaim his old life without hurting his innocent fetch, despite the Court wanting him dead.

                                  Attributes

Intelligence●●●●○ Strength●○○○○

Wits●●●○○ Dexterity●●●○○

Resolve●○○○○ Stamina●●○○○

Presence●○○○○

Manipulation●●○○○

Composure●●●●○

Size: 5

Health: 7

Speed: 9

Willpower: 5

Max Clarity: 7

Glamour: 10

Wyrd: 1

Initiative: 7

Defense: 3

                                    Skills

Academics●●○○○

Computer ●○○○○

Crafts ●○○○○

Investigation ●○○○○

Occult ●●○○○

Science ●●●●○

Stealth ●●●●○

Animal kin ●○○○○

Empathy ●●○○○

Expression ●○○○○

Subterfuge ●●●○○

                                  Merits

Mantle (Winter)

Harvest●(Emotions)●(Dreaming)

Hedge Gate Sense●

Hollow●

Perfect Stillness●

Siren Song●●●

Soul Sense●●

                                  Flaws

Coward

Nightmares

                              Contracts

Contract of Elements(Air)●●●

Contracts of Darkness●●●

Contracts of Eternal Winter●

[atmilliways]

Dreams In Which I’m Dying (8)

part 8 of 16 | 756 words | Teen +

Donnie Darko AU | parts 1 & 2 | part 3 | parts 4 & 5 | parts 6 & 7 | part 9 | parts 10 & 11 | parts 12 & 13 | part 14 | parts 15 & 16 (complete)

Summary:

Eddie Munson has lost control of his life. He just hot-wired an RV and called Steve Harrington big boy, and he genuinely can’t decide which one is freaking him out more. 

8 - Lost control of his life

Eddie Munson has lost control of his life. He just hot-wired an RV and called Steve Harrington big boy, and he genuinely can’t decide which one is freaking him out more. 

On top of that, someone had seen Chrissy and him both going into the woods on Friday and told Jason Carver, the police’s main suspect. He's escaped custody and is on the hunt for Eddie, out for blood on suspicion of witchcraft. He heard this over the phone from Officer Callahan, a man who Eddie once watched handcuff himself to his own car by accident. It's the cherry on top of an increasingly terrible Spring Break.

Despite all that, his mind keeps drifting back to Steve. 

They stay in the RV while everyone else shops at the War Zone, Steve because of his Demobat injuries and Eddie because he's laying low. It’s as good a time as any to replace the makeshift bandages from the night before.

“Ow,” Steve complains as Eddie runs an iodine-soaked cotton ball from the First Aid kit over the worst of the bites.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles, and does it again. 

Steve grunts as it makes contact. “S’fine. Thanks for not letting that one pop my head off like a grape.”

“You dropping the nailbat where I could reach it helped.”

“It usually does. I mean it, though.”

“I know.” He ventures a glance up from what he’s doing and finds himself meeting droopy hazel eyes dead on. That feeling of Steve trying to puzzle him out comes back full force, so Eddie tries to deflect. “Don’t detract from your hero status by sharing the glory on my account, big boy.”

Oh fuck, he’d done it again. He hadn’t meant to, it had just slipped out—

But Steve is blushing. Actually blushing. Eddie feels giddy; he’d made Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington blush!

“We make a good team,” Steve says, glancing away and moving his arms in a way that draws Eddie’s attention to his bare pecs. (Though really, what movement wouldn’t? Eddie would want to bite them if he hadn’t already been chewed on enough today.) “As long as you don’t mind hanging out with a non-nerd who doesn’t know who Ozzy is.”

“You can learn,” Eddie replies, and resists the impulse to swallow his own tongue. 

Steve laughs and shakes his head. “Man, you’re weird.” 

Reddening, Eddie flicks the cotton ball to the floor and reaches for the roll of gauze. “Sorry,” he mumbles. 

“No, I meant it as a compliment.” 

“Since when?” It flies out without Eddie even thinking, and he wants to swallow his tongue again. Because King Steve is nothing like he expected, nothing like he appears from a distance. Up close he’s . . . a good dude, which flies in the face of everything Eddie’s come to expect from the rich, popular, and jock crowds.  

“Since, uh, about three years ago this November?” Steve replies sheepishly. “I mean, things like this start happening—” he gestures to the divots gnawed into his flesh “—and it changes what weird means real fucking quick. Dustin’s weird, but he’s been super important to figuring things out every time. Robin’s weird, but she’s my best friend, we practically share a brain. And she’s taught me a lot about . . . other stuff I thought was weird, but turned out not so much once I actually thought about it.”

There’s something cautious yet intent in Steve’s eyes, in the tilt of his mouth while Eddie finishes wrapping and securing the gauze. Eddie chews on one side of his bottom lip, trying to focus on the task at hand instead of the guy’s eyes on him. “Aw, Stevie,” he manages to say, “are you saying you want to be best friends?”

“. . . Something like that.”

Steve reaches for the battle vest he still hasn’t given back yet—and oh, okay, Eddie thinks. Robin had said she’d get Steve a clean jacket and shirt (and socks, and shoes) inside. She’ll be back with it any minute. But no, Steve shrugs back into the vest and seems perfectly content.

And it can’t mean what Eddie wants it to mean, in this gap between bursts of go go go code red emergency where there’s actually some time to breathe. That would be too much, it would burn what’s left of his personal Munson doctrine to the ground—

The RV door slams open to admit a stampede of teenagers. Someone yells “Drive, drive!!” and Eddie feels suddenly unbalanced because Steve is already alert and scrambling for the driver’s seat. 

Moment to breathe over.

[aickerman-s]

Hello again👋

Hey all, long time no see.

For those who uhhhhh still remember me lol, I wanted to write a little update post on where I've been/why I disappeared etc.

So, I've probably not logged on to tumblr for about a year and there's many reasons for that. I've been debating whether or not to explain them at all for a while now, but I think I wanted to just get it out there and be open about stuff for a bit. This blog, and this community has meant a lot to me over the years, and the support I got from it all in my writing is more important to me than y'all know.

Basically, there's a (very!) good/positive reason that I've been away, and also a not-so-good one. Details below:

First, the good reason! The very good exciting awesome amazing reason: I got my dream writing job! I had the amazing opportunity to work as a video game writer on a project I'm so proud of and so incredibly grateful to have been a part of. Understandably, I was quite busy with that for the better part of 2023! The game is out now, and if anyone would like the link/to learn more about it please feel free to send me a dm! (Like, please, I'd love to brag about it!) Not going to post the link publically simply because I've always preferred to keep my blog free of irl/professional details, etc.

Some of you may remember I was briefly part of another game project a few years ago as lead writer, which fell through. Ever since I've been trying to get my first published credit, and now I have it <3 I'm a professional writer!!! 🥳 I'm very proud of the work we did, and I hope some of y'all will try it out!

But if working two jobs for most of the year wasn't enough, there's been something else that's kept me in a strange place this year - the not-so-good reason I've been quiet. This one is a bit more personal, and something I didn't want to reveal until now: content warning here, for both physical and mental health discussion.

Nearly two years ago now, I developed some rather debilitating symptoms of an unknown medical condition. While I've had chronic pain from another condition for most my life, the symptoms this new condition left me with were, quite frankly, terrifying. And terrifyingly, they appeared pretty much overnight. While I don't want to get into all the details, I've had to change and adapt a lot of things in my life to try and come to terms with this new normal - because sadly, these symptoms have not went away.

For the first 10/11 months or so of this condition, I was pretty much brute forcing my way through it - trying to tough my way through life as normal as if everything wasn't suddenly so much harder than it already was. About a year ago, I reached a breaking point. I had been hoping that all of this was just temporary, and was beginning to see that it wasn't.

While I had started the incredibly long and draining process of tests, hospital and doctor's appointments to try and investigate my condition, I realised at the start of 2023 that I had also become scarily depressed. I've struggled with and overcome depression before in my life, but this felt like so much uncharted territory. To be perfectly honest, I've always been proud of my own willpower and determination when dealing with depression in the past, but this year was the closest I've ever felt to truly giving up.

...And that's scary to admit - to myself, let alone anyone reading this! But admitting it pushed me into seeking the extra support I needed (therapy) throughout this journey. And a journey it is - while I'm much better mentally than I was in January, and I'm now on some medication to help alleviate the worst symptoms of my condition, my diagnosis is still a ways off. In the meantime, I've been coming to terms with the changes I've needed to make in my life, and the ones still to come.

It's been a lot, this year, trying to juggle a new disability and a new dream job - on top of the old job, poor mental health, and the complexity of coming to terms with the word 'disability'. There were times throughout the year when I wanted to open up tumblr and just browse through some rivamika internet goodness.

But I couldn't. My perfectionism and imposter syndrome and all these other factors led to me putting quite a lot of pressure on myself - every time I thought about tumblr I thought "I can't log on, I don't have any new chapters to post; I haven't responded to people's messages; it's already been way too long since I've updated; I'm such a terrible fanfic writer I've been inconsistent for years; I'm not allowed to log on unless I update a fic, and even then I'll have to apologise for being so late-".

So, I didn't. In all the weirdness I managed to convince myself that I would come back to... I don't know, interrogations or something 😂 It sounds quite silly now that I type it out. But I'm in a better place now, and I'm hoping I can get back to the no-pressure fun of writing fics soon.

As for my fanfics, would you believe me anymore if I said I still plan to finish them? 😂 I've even had drafts of the next chapters of both A Man, in a Bar and Fear and Fidelity sitting here for ages, but I'd managed to convince myself they weren't good enough to post. I've been thinking about them a lot lately, which is a good sign I think. I've been itching to write Levi and Mikasa again. So while I won't make any promises or such about updates/schedules or whatever, I just wanted to let it be known that I still want to continue these stories. (If I, and the readers, can even remember what happened in them😅). I might even take some prompts soon to get back into the swing of things!

But yeah... that's my update! It's probably the most personal I've ever gotten on this blog, and I hope that's okay. I felt like I needed it - to clear the air, of sorts. I sincerely hope everyone in this lil' community has been doing well, and is having a safe and happy holiday season. Thanks for reading, if you've managed to get through this big personal post! I love and appreciate everyone I've interacted with through this blog, and hope to get back into it again <3

[maxineholtzmann]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thanks to @hexiewrites and @stevethehairington for the tags!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 9! Not as many as a lot of others but I'm still proud of what I have on there!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 65,447

3. What fandoms do you write for? Stranger Things! I used to write for Harry Potter as well but with all of the everything that's gone down with the author of that series, I just can't see myself ever going back.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

project easy-bake (steddie)

2. i'm on fire (hermione granger x charlie weasley)

3. lay it on me (neville longbottom x daphne greengrass)

4. the truth is stranger than my own worst dreams (ronance)

5. la vie en rose (steddie)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to! I have a bunch I have to go through and respond to. Sometimes I feel a little silly responding back but then I remember how great I feel when someone replies to my comment and it helps me over the anxiety hump.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't really do angsty endings? I just want everyone to be happy! I will say that probably the ending of the truth is stranger than my own worst dreams will end up being the angstiest just for the simple fact that half the characters are already ghosts.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i loved the ending of what's all this talk about love, probably because i based the whole thing on one of my fave romcoms, runaway bride.

8. Do you get hate on fics? i haven't as of yet! knock on wood it stays that way!!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? if you had asked me like two weeks ago i would have said no, but uh that's changed very recently! so far i've only been writing throuples and specifically inspired by hexiewrites' out on the ice series - they're basically rpf if the real people were the characters in that series. it's a bit convoluted but it's been really fun and freeing to just go for it!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? i don't - i have a hard enough time keeping one plotline straight let alone adding extra elements like that in there. mad respect for people who do do it though! it's just not my cup of tea.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of!!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not that i'm aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, but i think that could be fun - as long as my co-writer is okay with my slow writing pace lol

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? all time fave is a hard one! i think probably it's a tie between steddie and dramione.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i have a WIP that was a time travel sirius/hermione fic for the harry potter fandom, but that's probably never going to be finished. i just don't see myself ever getting back into that hp headspace.

16. What are your writing strengths? i think my writing strengths are that once i know what i want to be writing it moves along pretty quickly. i also think that usually my fics have a solid amount of humour in them? i hope?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i overthink for a long time when i get blocked and i have a tendency to lose motivation for long stretches of time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? go for it* (*as long as you have a translation somewhere)

19. First fandom you wrote for? harry potter

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? it's a tie between some part of me came alive (steve x eddie x tommie smut fic) and project easy-bake (steddie)!

no pressure tagging @stevespookington @hereforanepilogue @withacapitalp @maxinemaxmayfield and anyone else who wants to do it! (also sorry if these are duplicate tags and you've already done this!)

[isnt-it-pretty]

20 questions for writers

I was tagged by @comfort-questing! Thank you, this was fun.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 55

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

576,498! That's over six years of posting

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for many! Currently I have active WIPs for Genshin Impact, Tamora Pierce, Persona 5, and Demon Slayer. (I also have a couple unposted for Mistborn)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

By Only a Flicker (FMA)

Into Darkness and Howling (Genshin)

Maelstrom (Demon Slayer)

Pray to Blades of Grass (Genshin)

Fingernails the Colour of Rust (Genshin)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I miss some but in general I try to. It encourages involvement, which I love. Fandom as a community is really important to me.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm okay so. I'm going to list a few because I can't decide because they're all very specific.

Fragile Things isn't really an angsty ending, per se, but it isn't happy. You know that long term it isn't going to get any better. Xiao is still chronically ill; Collei is still terminally ill. They have each other but that doesn't change the circumstances.

A Dream of a Memory (Genshin Impact) is Hurt No Comfort because it's a prequel so idk if that counts

Still Too Similar (Tamora Pierce) is a modern take on a canon death, which I'm also not sure counts because it's based off canon.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's probably between The Sea That's Painted Black and Pray to Blades of Grass

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! I don't think I ever have but I wouldn't really be bothered if I did. I'd just delete the comment.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Once! It was kinda angsty, kinda sweet. I write smut like a wealthy Edwardian woman who would die if somebody so much as said an annotomically correct word.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No I haven't but I've seen some great ones.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Sort of? There is a person who was inspired by my work and wrote theirs without credit (which is whatever, it's all fic) but they paraphrase plagarized my first chapter, which was devistated. It made me stop writing for a couple weeks because it just killed my desire.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah! Several into Russian, and then a couple other languages.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

None currently posted but I did with @currentlylurking when we were younger! And I've helped my friends as a sounding board for fics for years. I just don't have time to co-write, sadly.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I don't really have an all time favourite. Currently I write a lot of cynonari/tighcyno from Genshin Impact, which I love, but I think my oldest ships are Alex/Thom and Numair/Thom from Tamora Pierce? So that might count more.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

*Sigh* at this point? Probably Into Darkness and Howling. I love the fic and the concept, but the general discourse around the character ruined any writing of him for me. Everybody gets so mad about characterization and localization that even if the fic never got any complaints I'm just not comfortable attempting. Also the popularity of it really scary even if the character wasn't contentious. There's too many expectations of it now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

My ideas are amazing. I come up with great canon divergent AUs.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes it feels like everything lol. Spelling is definitely my worst, you just can't tell since I use a beta reader and spellcheck. Characterization and making my characters unique in thoughts and dialogue can also be a struggle.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I haven't done it but I like it when it's done well! I think you have to intersperse it with the original languague of the fic and make sure it contextually makes sense without needing a translation.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically Tamora Pierce in an old notebook but officially my first works were Soul Eater. (They were really really bad)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I like a lot of them but Fragile Things is held close to my heart.

I'm tagging @faelynny @currentlylurking @marcellebelle @lavenders-writing @clementinecoastline no pressure to do it though!

[mswhich]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks to @whimsicalmeerkat for the tag! I think a lot of my mutuals have done this already so I'll just say to tag yourself if you want to do this!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

52, but one is still unrevealed for an upcoming exchange.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

609,172

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Lots. My top fandom is Original Work (technically not a fandom! But I have twice as many works in it as in my next-most-populated fandom). Also very actively writing in Formula 1 RPF, and I have a WIP for 2001: a Space Odyssey. I also occasionally write in Teen Wolf, Taskmaster, and Harry Potter. (Used to be my main fandom, and I still have a few WIPs I dream of finishing someday.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Unforced Error (Harry Potter, Snape/Hermione), 3529 kudos.

Forged in Flames (Harry Potter, Snape/Hermione), 3526 kudos.

No Secrets (Teen Wolf, Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski), 2331 kudos. (I would fucking love it if this surpassed my HP works at some point, just putting that out there.)

Bondmate (Original Work, Alien with no concept of consent/His human neighbor), 1135 kudos.

The Frontier Spirit (Original Work, Ship AI/Lone Crew Member), 1041 kudos.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try. I'm not always great about hitting every single one.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't know about angsty, but most horrifying ending is probably A Scream is a Wish Your Heart Makes, my I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream fic. If you're familiar with the canon, you can probably guess why the ending is bleak.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I write a lot of happy endings, but the one that makes me personally turn into a cat with heart eyes emoji is probably Stripped as you are.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really, surprisingly enough for an unapologetically problematic author! I think the worst I've had on AO3 was a bookmark comment that said one of my fics was mid.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. The smutty kind. No but seriously, my smut tends to be kinky and very explicit. (Is there non-explicit smut? I don't know, but if there is, I'm not writing it.)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not written a crossover, but I wouldn't rule it out in the future.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

More than once. Usually I notice because a friendly reader lets me know in the comments. A couple of times it's been on AO3, and AO3 took it down after the fic was reporter, and once it was on Wattpad, which also got taken down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Many times.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not exactly, but I did a Teen Wolf Big Bang in which @midmorning-bomb did the art for my fic No Secrets (linked above), which was a fantastic collaboration.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Jeez, I don't know. I feel like I ship everything that moves. Honestly, maybe Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, just because it ticks so many boxes for me: power dynamics, smartass characters, age gap, angst, superpowers, etc.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have most of a whole-ass novel written about a post-War Ginny Weasley/Severus Snape fic. The premise is that she's sort of kicking around at loose ends at Grimmauld Place after the War is over, while Harry goes off doing Auror stuff and being a hero. Snape gets kicked out of Hogwarts for the summer for renovations and ends up having to move in as a boarder with Ginny. After some initial friction, they start talking to each other, and he realizes she's less vapid than he'd thought, and she realizes he's slightly less of an ass. There's also a mystery plot involving the moving portraits and a loose Death Eater, and part of it's set in Chicago. Literally 85% of it is written, and I just don't know if I'm ever going to finish it, partially because I've moved on from the fandom and partially because of the fandom's creator. So I don't know.

16. What are your writing strengths?

God, I don't know. You tell me. Kinky smut, maybe? I feel like I'm good at writing dialogue for some characters; less good at others.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Too repetitive within scenes; overuse of em dashes and other quirky punctuation; too reliant on what you might call "route 1" plotting.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Only very minimally, and preferably with lots of cognates so people can at least get the gist even if they don't speak it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. The first fic I ever wrote is actually the one with the 2nd-most kudos. (1st-most until very recently.)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Crown of Neon Lights, a Mafia story about an uncle and his orphaned niece.

[rookie-critic]

Linoleum (2023, dir. Colin West) - review by Rookie-Critic

I love it when a movie surprises me. Some of my favorite moviegoing experiences from the last few years have been going into something relatively blind, and coming out with something I will absolutely never forget. It gave me C'mon C'mon, my top film from 2021, it gave me The Worst Person in the World, my #3 film 2021, and it has now given me Linoleum. The film follows Jim Gaffigan's Cameron Edwin, an astronomer who hosts a declining children's science show à la Bill Nye the Science Guy who, due to the said decline of his show as well as his marriage, which is on the brink of divorce, is in the middle of a well-earned mid-life crisis. Also, a car with an award-winning astronaut in it falls from the sky next to his mailbox and he is the only person who witnesses the "accident," and nobody believes it really happened. The film invokes a lot of magical realism and, from the opening scene, evokes a Gondry-esque dream-like quality not too far removed from the French director's films Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Science of Sleep.

The film is mean to it's protagonist, but not in a malicious way: his daughter Nora (portrayed by Katelyn Nacon in a fantastic performance) is disrespectful to him in a way that teenagers often are, but clearly has a love for him as she watches and seems to genuinely enjoy his children's show, his wife (portrayed by a fresh-off Better Call Saul Rhea Seehorn in an equally fantastic performance), who is in the process of falling out of love with him, still shows the hallmark signs of lingering care for this person she'd built a life with. Everything feels very domestic and real in it's dreaminess, but still, something about the full picture isn't quite right. That is, until the third act, when the film slams all of its individual, seemingly disjointed and mysterious pieces together to form a complete 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle of a moving and incredible story about how we live our lives and how, looking back, it is a beautiful and wondrous miracle that we all get to spend any amount of time on this small, blue rock we call planet Earth with one another. It shows us that, between despair and hope, between love and hate, that ultimately, hope prevails, love wins, and our intrinsic curiosity about the universe drives us forward towards something fantastic. What that is will be different for everyone, but there is beauty in that unknown, and we should all strive to close our eyes and let the universe form that fantastic something around us and guide us through it.

Normally, I'd take a handful of sentences here to talk about things I didn't like about the film. I could say that the film's final act takes big, artistic swings that will most likely not please all viewers. I could say that elements of the story don't mesh well with the answers to the film's mysteries. These are things that I can see people complaining about with Linoleum, but I would urge those people to watch it again, and really open your mind up to what the film is doing with that third act. Don't be the person telling Cameron to be more practical and that the answer is "not that simple," because the truth is, much like we're told in the film, it probably is. I used to not cry at films at all, and I would tell people that something would have to be truly, uniquely moving to draw tears out of me. Over the past few years I've realized that is no longer the case (maybe it never was), and I openly and proudly cry frequently during movies and shows. I genuinely believe that, had I seen this back when I didn't shed the frequent tear, that I would still have done so while watching Linoleum. It ticked all the right boxes and did all the right things to make it an instant classic in my eyes, and I can't recommend it highly enough.

Score: 10/10

Only in theaters as a limited release. Check your local listing to see if it's playing in a theater near you.