#took me too long to find a name for him tbh

[imjustabitodd]

Rises the moon

Yandere moon god ig (and gn reader as always)

Warnings: none I think

Word count: almost 1.5k

Insomnia. It's a thing you're rather familiar with, the nights where peaceful slumber evades you. It has been happening for what you think for years now. Constantly awake staring at your ceiling while the moonlight shines in your room.

Tonight was one of those.

Even after you've taken those gummies you were given by a co-worker, saying something that she made them herself or something, you're still here, the same situation as always.. even took her night shift for them because she wouldn't accept money.

"I should have not believed her.."

Taking a deep sigh you get up from your bed, putting on the slippers beside the bed and walk around for a bit. Turning on a movie for background noise, you've been through this charade enough times to know that just laying and hoping to fall asleep is useless. On the TV is some Hallmark Christmas movie, you really couldn't care less, but still you sat down and contemplated on what to do to pass the time for tonight...

"should I make something.. nah I already ate before laying in bed, work? Nope too boring.."

Minutes pass while you are thinking about what to do... Finally deciding to get a breath of fresh air you go to the balcony.. putting a blanket down then sitting on the floor. Watching the stars and the moon, the stars lighten up as if they sensed your appearance. But that's just your imagination, right?

....

You stayed there for god knows how long, it felt like hours while it most likely wasn't even thirty minutes. Just watching as nothing interesting happened, locals passing by beneath the balcony, some noticing you and giving you the moon gods blessings of sleep.

"may Noctis bless your night!"

It felt like the fifteenth time you've heard the saying. Noctis, the ever gentle god that the locals believed in. The one they claimed to have put the moon in the sky and bless you with pleasant nights of dreams or curse you with sleepless nights and nightmares of torture and carnage

"yours too.."

Then silence came, who would have thought there would be no one at 1am?

But as you kept watching the night sky and road down bellow you started to feel drowsy.. finally getting up from the floor and to the bed, forgetting to turn off the tv.

Laying down face first into the pillows, you swear you can cry from happiness from finally getting some sleep after weeks of only relying on hour long naps for a day.

...

Fucking hell. Just when you layed down to sleep the tiredness went away.. as if the moon was the only thing capable of making you drowsy. But you suck it up and keep laying there. Picking up your phone to text the group chat of your friends only to remember. There's no one for you to even talk to anymore, usually you'd talk to your friends at nights like these, knowing they suffered from similar problems but... you had no one, after the falling out you were left in the dust.

Putting the phone face first on the bedside table, feeling the tears well up again, the sting of loneliness never fully fading. Knowing the group you thought was friends with you, suddenly breaking and ditching you was heartbreaking .

Finally one spills over, then another and another. Rubbing your eyes, ridding them of the salty tears until they slightly stung, you felt mentally drained, and sleep finally came.

Feeling cold hands around your waist, a leg on top of your thigh, you look to see who it is, but the face is foggy, covered by long strands of white hair, this isn't your room. It looks too white and comfortable to be yours.

"I'm dreaming.. aren't I."

You realize, a dream of being cuddled in bed, huh you really were lonely... But who was the person holding you, you can't think of a single person you know to have white hair.

"shh... Don't think, my star"

Nor the voice, sounded too soft to be anyone you've known.. but it's just a dream, your brain must have just conjured up a guy. You lay your head back down, him moving the two of you so that your head is on his chest

It was the most peaceful sleep you had.. against a cold chest, hearing the heart thump and thump in a soothing rhythm, even though his body was freezing. You wake up feeling refreshed although missing the coldness of the body, maybe it was the gunmies.

Checking the clock it's.. early, 7am, and you actually got a somewhat healthy amount of sleep. You would have panicked if you weren't working the night shift today. Groggily getting up and going to the bathroom, doing the regular routine. Coming out refreshed for the first time in weeks.

Taking your phone off the bedside table, scrolling through any notification, picking up a book. Really you didn't know what to do, life has been duller after the loss of friends in your life. Merely reading through the pages, this one being a book one of them suggested and would gush about, a romance of sorts. Getting yourself invested in the fake world of laughter and love

...

You glance at the window, noticing the night sky up, when did it become night so fast? Checking the time, instantly slamming the book shut and leaving it on the nearest table, you're late. Like, late late. Quickly putting on and buttoning your uniform, running down the rows of stairs upon stairs. Getting in the car and going to the convenience store you work at, knowing you'd likely get scolded in the morning for being late.

Stepping into the store, it's the same as always, white walls, aisles of snacks and other stuff you don't pay attention to, still small and comforting. The only difference being the posters being finally changed. No longer the old, worn out ones where the ink is barely readable, you always wondered why they didn't change them. The new ones promoting moon themed snacks and pastries for the upcoming holiday. The day the moon god put the moon in the sky. You didn't know why it was still a holiday but hey, you weren't complaining, it did make your hours shorter.

No one came except the usuals and a strange dude wearing a robe you honestly thought were pajamas asking if you were favourited by the moon god, honestly the guy was probably on drugs, a business man clearly done with a nightshift who always came for the ice coffee, a blonde woman out for a nightly jog asking for the same brand of chocolate bar, a brunette who always bought a frozen pizza on Saturday and that was it for the night.

Clocking out you take your car keys out of your bag, getting into the comforting warmth of your car, a stark contrast to the cold wind outside. It was a short drive back to the apartment, you did look for a job close to home for a reason.

Having to climb up the rows of stairs because the elevator has been broken for the past week and the landlord being too much of a cheapskate to hire someone to fix it. Making it to your door, taking out your keys with your favourite character as a keychain. home sweet home, although.. some of your clothes on the floor were gone. You must have put them away and forgotten..

You don't question it, just took off your work clothes and put on your pajamas, a simple shirt and whichever pajama pants were closest. Taking more of the "homemade" gummies your co worker gave you and hoping you'd fall asleep, going to your bed and lifting the blankets, still cold but you know you'll quickly warm up..

..

Nothing.. you keep laying in the comforter while sleep avoids you. Eyes darting around the room mindlessly until you saw something move at the corner of your eye, moving your head there all you saw was a human shaped shadow, engulfed in darkness until it took a step forward

A man.. the same man that was in your dream last night. You tried to move but you felt suddenly paralyzed.

"my star, please, there is nothing to worry about. I'm here to help. I've seen you suffer for far too long"

He walked closer, until you were merely a foot apart and he laid down on you with all his weight. You got a better look at him than you did last night, his face was right in front of yours. Ashy skin, moles on his cheek you swear you could see them forming the big Dipper. The long white hair draping over the two of you like a curtain. Black eyes with a white pupil..

"hahh.. it's been decades, my star, I thought your soul officially turned to dust."

You wanted to scream at him, ask him what he meant by that but you felt awfully calm and tired to do so. Eyelids too heavy, as if they were attached to ten pound weights.

"that's it.. fall into the sleep you deserve. Don't worry about anything"

[waywardsalt]

oh yeah i’ve got a bunch of loz aus that i haven’t really talked about. a few of them are listed and slightly explained in this poll and explanation reblog but i haven’t gone out of my way to actually list the aus i have and really explain them. so that’s what this post is for. here are some... decently simple explanations of my major aus and what they're generally about

i have two kinds of aus: original aus (loz aus that are set in their own kinds of worlds with their own stories and twists on character roles) and then crossover aus (we all know how this works i just mash loz and a thing i like together)

original aus: (many currently dont have actual titles, so the titles will often just be concept shorthand)

in the court of the crimson king/crimson king au: probably the most developed and closest to being written out. it's got one of the longer premises; set in a industrial-esque hyrule city, following linebeck as the main character, as the adoptive older brother of link and aryll, living with them and their grandmother as the only one able to reliably make money to pay for rent and food, leaving every other week to do jobs, but he moonlights as the 'demon of the gray moon', a masked persona he'd created as a child that had long since become a city-wide urban legend, anonymously taking unsavory jobs from whomever can contact him and offer pay, often working directly for bellum, a childhood friend, the one who enabled and trained him to become the demon, and one of five anonymous leaders of the city. linebeck effectively lives a double life, and tries to stay out of too much trouble to avoid drawing attention to himself or making his adoptive family worry, but he gets dragged into more and more danger as bellum becomes curious about the identities of the city's other leaders, and linebeck falls in love with a man named ganondorf, suspected to be one of those other city leaders. ive got a few posts related to it already: this one being another vague concept descriptor, this one being an actual scene i have written out.

'gimmick' au: i cannot explain the gimmick without spoiling the au. put simply, in this au, hyrule as a whole has been at war for ten years, every race and kingdom taking sides in a conflict that seems to be going nowhere. link joined the hylian army young, and has made his way up the ranks to become trusted by queen zelda herself, and things in the war take an interesting turn as he and zelda discover a new faction, unaligned with any particular kingdom and with unknown motives, and zelda decides to set out to the different parts of hyrule, link and a chosen group of trusted allies in tow, intending to try negotiation one more time before things take a turn for the worse.

sci-fi/space au: the fun one that probably would need to be done in a visual medium. it takes place in a solar system of a few planets, link growing up on the planet hyrule and occasionally traveling to the others as a knight specializing in investigating and taking down dangerous bounty hunters, working for zelda as a friend. he and zelda uncover a plot by the yiga clan to accumulate a number of highly dangerous research and weapons held by each species as they aim to resurrect a demon to wreck havoc on the solar system- the b plot being about the top bounty hunters in the solar system screwing around, eventually colliding with link and zelda's a plot as it begins to involve them.

murder mystery(?) au: one of the older ones, maybe one of the oldest that i still stick with. this might actually be one of the first ones i tried writing. the plot begins when zelda returns to hyrule city years after her father- the former mayor- was murdered, finding that he has been replaced by ganondorf and that while things seem fine enough on the surface, random and organized crime run the show, and she begins a private detective agency as 'sheik', a masked young man, and with the help of impa, and old friend and confidant, she moonlights as sheik and uses her daytime identity as zelda to help chip away at some of the city's biggest problems and finds herself drawn into a long string of murders that appear to be anything but random violence.

ruined hyrule 1: i have two au’s with the premise of hyrule being ruined. neither of them have more specific names yet. this one begins with the majority of greater hyrule's population having long since locked themselves in hyrule castle town in order to escape the increasingly dangerous wildlife. zelda, a young girl at the beginning, becomes curious about what lies beyond the city walls, and makes friends with many other children within this sheltered hyrule, and as they grow up together, aim to eventually venture out into the wilderness to see what may have caused the outside world to become so incredibly hostile.

ruined hyrule 2: the other ruined hyrule. set in a devastated hyrule, roughly ten years after the royal family was killed, link failing to save them or hyrule in the time since. he now resolves to set out and indiscriminately destroy every demon that plagues the ruined hyrule, meeting and bringing along various allies, each of which has been uniquely affected by and have different lived in this altered, dangerous shell of hyrule.

modern (school): i also have two modern aus. this one isn’t plot driven, just a concept i have, would work best as little vignettes or something. essentially just the idea of a group of loz characters hanging out together in a modern high school (or college?) setting.

modern: this is the one with an actual plot. follows the general idea of zelda characters living in a modern world only for the typical legends to begin resurfacing and heralding dark events. plot specifics are murky, but that's the general idea.

dark mage: this is the au that where the seas meet the sands takes place in. basically just ganondorf x linebeck shenanigans in this alternate hyrule while actual plot sneaks up on them. named 'dark mage' mostly because the initial idea behind this au was that linebeck would learn magic.

horror au: doesn't have the best name, and it's ended up just being a personal sandbox for me. constantly changing, with the cast and setting often altering if i find that something isn't working or sticking. it's an au i've considered (and even briefly tried) writing in the past, but it's still too fluid, and writing horror effectively is difficult. it's a fun au, though.

mecha au: spawned because i watched neon genesis evangelion. a lot of this au's basic concepts can be found here: x but the short version is that hyrule is being besiged by massive monsters, but each race has created their own mechs to combat them. link is just a farmer who happens to have a strange knack for being a mech user, so is brought in by zelda as a gamble to bolster their chances, and he is tasked with working with a new and less-than-trustworthy crew to help fight those monsters.

'amnesia link' au: an au that sprang up in about a day and hasn't gotten too far since. basic premise being that three years prior to the story, link and a group of allies has faced off against ganondorf and, despite their best efforts, lost, with link being presumed dead by their enemies. now, link has woken up from his coma, his memories gone and hyrule taken over, and, with guidance, must once again travel across hyrule, aiming to rediscover his allies and try to face ganondorf once more.

A quick list of crossovers: I won't explain these in length, since they can range from having their own plot to just being a fun mental concept. So, the things I have made crossover aus with are:

Warrior Cats

Batman

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Persona 5

Pokemon

(there are other, smaller ones, these are just the ones i consistently pay attention to)

So! These are the majority of my legend of zelda aus, some of which I may write, some of which just exist in my mind for fun, all of which I wouldn't mind talking more about if anyone is curious!

[seungfl0wer]

*Use As You Please*

Pairing: OT8 x Reader (Fem)

Genre: Pure smut (Not much of any plot)

Warnings: Slightly Proofread, Creampie, Unprotected sex, Face fucking, Oral (M&F), Hickeys, dirty talk, lots of pet names, degrading, spanking, Double Penetration, Slight public, slight choking. I’m for sure missing some :(

This is a highly requested Part 2 to “Our Toy” which is from my 1K Series Event you can find the master list here. I hope it lives up to the love of the first one. I appreciate how much you guys loved it. It’s so crazy to me tbh.

-🩵

Sleepily waking up, rubbing your eyes as you stretch out. Your boyfriend’s arms pulling you close to him “stop moving” he whined. You groaned trying to pull away “Channie I gotta pee” you tried pulling away again. “Fine fine” he said pouting as he let go of you. You kissed his head softly before running towards the bathroom.

You opened the door to find Hyunjin taking a shower “ah come to join me beautiful?” He asked with a smile pulling the curtain back. “No gotta pee” you rolled your eyes sitting down at the toilet. After you were done you went to wash your hands. You saw the door creak open Chan rubbing the back of his head. “Princess you take too long” he groaned. You rolled your eyes again wiping your hands off after washing them making your way towards him. “I was gone for like a minute” you teased kissing his cheek.

“Y/n my shower is so lonely” hyunjin whined not realizing Chan had come in. Chan laughed a bit “how about we join Hyune?” He asked smirking at you. You nod, giggling at the thought of Chan going first. “Alright Hyune gonna join you” you smiled dropping your clothes along with Chan.

As Chan got in you heard Hyunjin scream “Yah! What are you doing in here?” He whined as he opened the curtain to see you standing there “I only wanted her.” Chan couldn’t help but laugh “well you got us both, gonna have to share Hyune” he says taking your hand to lead you into the shower.

As soon as you got in Hyunjin pulled you to him, kissing you lovingly. His hands quickly gripping at your hips pressing your body as close to his as he could. His hand came up to cup your face deepening the kiss as his cock laid against your soft leg. He started to rut against your leg his cock becoming hard at the feeling as he darted his tongue between your lips. Chan groaned at the sight of you two, his hand running down his body stroking himself as he watched. He slowly moved to the other side of you running his free hand down to your core.

He let his fingers circle your clit as you let out small moans against hyunjin’s lips. “I woke up from such a hot dream about you love” hyunjin said as he pulled away. “Need you so badly” he continued as he kissed down your body. He looked up at you as he gently licked against your folds. Chans fingers still toying with your clit. Hyunjin started to sloppily eat you out, tongue darting inside you.

Chan turned his body to kiss you sucking to bottom of your lip. You took your hand moving Chans out of the way as you stroked his hard cock. He let out a groan against your lips before slipping his tongue past them. Hyunjin could feel your legs becoming shaky so he put your legs around his shoulder. Letting him taste you even deeper as he moved his hips into nothing. He looked up at the scene above him making him groan.

“God I can’t take it anymore need- need you” Hyunjin whined putting your legs around him now as he rubbed the tip of his cock against your folds. “Let me” Chan said trailing off as he moved behind you keeping you steady. Hyunjin pushed into you quickly bottoming out, his head flung back at the feeling. “Shit- feels s’good” he said as he started to thrust into you. Chans hands played your nipples as he sucked on your neck. “Doesn’t she? She’s perfect” Chan coo’d. Hyunjin nodded moaning out as he felt you clenching around him.

“Fuck y/n you’re- so tight” he said pushing deep into you. “Ah- ah fuck hyune so- s’good” you stuttered out. Chan smirked he had this devilish gleam in his eye. “hyune you ever double with her?” He asked the other man. Hyunjin shook his head no making Chans smirk grow even wider “she’s even tighter, even louder like that”

Not even a few seconds later they were both deep inside you fucking your hole maliciously. All three of you letting out strings of curse words, moans and names. “Fuck- you- you were right- shit I’m so close already” hyunjin whined out the feeling becoming too much for him. Chan chuckled a bit “yeah- me too. This ways so fucking hot ugh- and wait till we both fill her” he said.

Your brain was so foggy so much pleasure was washing over you. You were so close your body was becoming so sensitive. The feeling of both their cocks hitting every sweet spot of yours driving you over the edge. Your high hit you like a truck your body jolted and twitched as you almost screamed out their names. The feeling of you cuming was enough to pull Hyunjin to his own high. You clenched so tightly around them as you came making Hyunjin twitch inside of you pushing as deep as he could to cum. He threw his head back once again, eyes rolling back as he came.

The sight infront of him drove him crazy, the warmth of both of your highs was bringing Chan close to his. The noises hyunjin was making at the feeling of Chan still moving as both of their cocks were still inside of you. “Gonna take my cum too princess hmm? You took hyune’s so well.” He said wrapping his hand around your neck to pull you into a kiss. Hyunjin started to rub your little nub as Chan fucked you sloppily. Another wave about to wash over you as the cord in your stomach was about to snap you felt Chan twitch inside you.

His cum pumping deep into you “shit- shit princess” he moaned out as he felt you clench around him cuming as he came.

You all panted body’s just laying against each other before Chan broke the silence. “How about we take an actual shower now?” He suggested with a laugh from all three of you.

——————

“Y/n stop moving” the pretty blonde boy said below you. It was his idea though, to have you sit on his lap while he gamed. You couldn’t help move, he was twitch in his sweats wanting nothing more to be free. “Yeah! You’re sucking so bad what the hell are you-“ Seungmin started to say as he flung the door open seeing why Felix was so distracted.

Seungmin had pulled you off of him making him whine as he sat beside him. “If you win this next game maybe I’ll forgive you” he said to the other man. He looked at you “and as for you, for distracting him I have something you can do” he said with a smirk.

As Felix tried his best to game seungmin had you on your knees fucking into your mouth. “See lix- ah- if you win she can- can do this to you. Or even ride you while- you play” he groaned out. As you took him deeper his head dropped back pushing his cock as far as it could go. You gagged tears pricking as he let out the most sinful sound you’d ever heard come from him.

He looked down at you with hooded eyes as he pulled you up to him. “Shorts off” he said his voice hot. You could see how painfully hard Felix was at this point. “Can I ride you and help Lixie?” You asked seungmin with big puppy eyes. “Yeah yeah I guess” he said pushing you down onto him filling you fully. You both let out a loud moan at the feeling. He gave you little to no time before he started to move. You leaned down kissing Felix first before pulling his cock out. “Ah Lixie you’re so hard” you said before taking him into your mouth.

Felix closed his eyes moaning as he ran his hands through your hair holding it back so he could see your pretty face. He let you go at your own pace as seungmin fucked you deep. The sound of a smack echoed as seungmin spanked your ass “fuck- you’re so wet baby” he said soothing where he had hit. “This all from sitting on lix?” He said with a grin. When you nod softly it makes Felix moan at the thought. “Ah angel- I need” Felix let out as his hips bucked upwards hitting the back of your throat like the other had not to long ago.

“Shit I’m close” Seungmin said pulling out quickly. He pulled you off of Felix making him whine before turning you to face him. “Sit, let Felix have what he wants I’ll use your mouth.” He said before you could protest Felix was pulling you onto him pushing himself so desperately into you. He bottomed out right away his cock so sensitive. As you moaned seungmin took the opportunity to push into your mouth. With just a few thrust he was filling your mouth with his hot liquid making you drink it all.

“You did so well for me baby. You milk Felix for all he’s got now” he said with a chuckle before pushing you down as far as you could on Felix’s cock. He leaned down playing with your clit as Felix fucked you at just the perfect angle. “Ah- uha- cu- cumming!” You all but screamed out as you came fast and hard around Felix’s cock. Seungmin let out another chuckle watching you come undone. Felix gripped your hips tightly as he let out one more thrust before cumming deep inside of you. He laid his head on your back wrapping his arms around you as you tried catching your breath.

Seungmin got up and walked towards the door “alright lix get your head in the game we got to get you out of bronze” the man teased before walking out. “Lix you ok?” You asked feeling him still breathing heavy “y-yeah that was just hot as fuck” he said with a small laugh.

——————

You were in the kitchen getting a snack when you felt a pair of hands wrap around you. “Hello there my beautiful bunny” changbin said against your ear. “You really think it’s a good idea to be walking around in just a shirt hmm?” He asked with a small chuckle as he slid his hands up the back of it. “Ooh and you’re even wearing cute little pink panties? Must be a sign” he said kissing your neck so sweetly. “Binnie” you said softly as you felt his hand ghostly move over your clothes clit.

“What’s wrong bunny?” He said as he moved the panties to sink his fingers into your core. Your body moved forward at the feeling his fingers slowly moving inside you. He let a small smack to your ass before he started to suck softly on your neck. His free hand coming up to cup your breast as he moved his fingers inside you. You could feel his hard on against your ass wanting nothing more to be stuffed fully by it. You let out a small whimper “need-“ you said softly.

“Hmm? What do you need bunny?” He said moving his thumb over your clit. “Tell me what my little bunny needs” you said his voice hot against your skin. “You. Need Binnie-“ you said making him chuckle a bit. “Yeah? I’m right here silly” he said as his fingers moved fast inside of you curling at your sensitive spot making your body twitch. “No- need- inside” you choked out feeling your high getting close. “What exactly do you need? Gotta say it my pretty”

“Ah Binnie please need you- need your cock- please fuck me” you whined out. He smiled as he spun you around kissing you softly. He dropped his pants wrapping your legs around him as he pushed himself into you. “All my bunny needed was to be stuffed?” He teased his hand cupping your face to look at him “my little bunny is so needy.” Before you could respond Changbin was snapping his hip in and out of you. Stretching you with his girth as he bottomed out quickly. “Fuck- and I was gonna go to the gym to” he laughed.

You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him into a loving kiss as he fucked deep into you. His hands slinking down to your clit rubbing it feverishly as he felt you clench around him. “Bunny gonna cum? Gonna make a mess of my cock?” He said against your lips. You nod looking up at him “feel so good bin, you make me feel so good so full.” This made his head spin as he started to thrust sloppily into you.

Bin loved when you talked like this loving praise from you. “Yeah? Feels good hmm? It’s cause my bunny was made for my cock” he said as he sloppily kissed your neck. He pushed your shirt up over your tits so he could nibble at your nipples. He was getting lost quickly as he pumped deep into you. He groaned moving his hand over your clit faster. “Make a mess of me bunny please ah- fuck cum for me bunny! I’m-“ he moaned out as he came deep inside of you. Your body clenched around him milking him dry as you quickly came around him.

“Shit bunny- I’m sorry” he said kissing you with a smile “you really just looked so good standing in here I couldn’t help myself.” He said grabbing a towel for you. You giggled “now you don’t gotta go to the gym at least”

——————

“What if someone sees?” Han said as looking up at the older man. “Isn’t that the fun of it?” Minho smirked looking down at him. Jeongin rolled his eyes “it’s dark out and we are in the woods no one’s gonna see dummy.” He said to Han. “Shed probably like it anyways” Minho teased looking at you now.

Minho had invited you to go camping with him. The trip turned into the four of you after Han blabbed about wanting to go too and Jeongin joined because he wanted some quiet time. This camping trip had turned into an all out fuck fest of course though. Minho had you against the camper hand lazily around your neck. Han was under you sloppily eating you out as your hand slowly pumped jeongins half hardened cock.

Minho pulled you away making Han whine loudly “Han lay down” he said giving the other man a look. Han quickly did so as Minho guided you towards him having you hover over his face. “Ah fuck this is perfect” Han all but moaned out as he wrapped his arms around your thighs diving into your cunt. He started to eat you out like some hungry animal.

The other two men stood on either side of you. You left little kisses on jeongin cock before Minho took your hand to place it on his now exposed cock. They took turned fucking your mouth jeongin a bit softer as he did it but not by much. Jeongin grabbed the back of your head as he fucked into your mouth. The moans you were leaving out vibrating around him.

“Need” Han groaned out before he moved his body under you. He moved so you were now hovering over his cock. He pushed you down bottoming out right away as he watched you get used by the other men. “Hannie you’re so needy I swear” Minho laughed. “Ah you know what- yeah I am she- fuck she just feels s’good” he groaned thrusting upwards into you. You started to moan louder eyes almost rolling back into your head. Jeongin moved some hair from your face looking down at you as his cock disappeared into your mouth.

“Move over this way a bit” Minho said kneeling down a bit. Han did so making it easier for Minho to get in position. “Want filled kitten hmm? Wanna fill me and jisungie fill this cunt up?” Minho teased as he smacked your clit with his cock. You whined out nodding softly. Minho pushed quickly into you making Han and you moan. “Ah- uh uh fuck right s’tight” Han babbled.

Jeongin watched as both the men fucked you so well. He could feel himself getting closer but he wanted to cum inside you, needed to do so. So he pulled out watching what was happening as you slowly stroked him. Minho was pounding mercilessly into you as Han almost laid limp under his cock twitched overstimulated and ready to burst. Minho was also close, the feeling of how tight you get mixed with the situation bringing him close quicker than normal.

“Y/n! Fuck- ah you take us so well fuck- you’re such- such a little slut for us huh?” Minho rambled “taking 2 cocks at once and having innie too? Ah- such a little slut” Minho groaned gripping at your thighs as he played with your clit “Jisungie you still alive?” Jeongin chuckled. Han nodded looking up at him eyes glazed over. You moved your leg slightly but that movement made you open even more. Both the men hit your g-spot, your body shook as you felt your high about to crash into you but not before Han.

He babbled “cu-mming gon fill you- gonna fill you so full fuck baby.” He couldn’t hold it back anymore his high hit him hard his body shaking under you as he painted pretty pictures on your walls. The warmth from his cum made and the way your walls clenched made Minho see stars. “Shit- fuck how- how’d you get even- fucking tighter-“ he groaned pushing deep into you. He gave it a few more thrusts before he was pumping deep into you. “That’s it kitten- take it all” he coo’d.

Both the men moved lying down on the ground seeing stars and actually seeing starts in the sky. Before you could come back to earth jeongin was thrusting deep into you. He was already so sloppy he just wanted more than to cum inside of you. He loved it, loved filling you so full you gushed from his cock. He started to play with your clit, he pulled you to him making out as he sloppily fucked into you. You felt like you’d go crazy at this point all the pleasure being overwhelming.

“Cum with me beautiful, please” Jeongin said softly against your lips as he thrusted one more time cumming, his cum mixing with the other twos. You were so full, so drenched in everything from sweat, cum and probably some spit. Your legs became shaky as your high washed over you, you squirting over Jeongin cock. He was in awe at the sight the liquids coating his cock and torso. Your body trembled, you were so sensitive and your high was so strong. Minho pulled you away picking you up bringing you back into the camper.

“Drink some water” he said handing you a bottle as he grabbed a towel to clean you. “You two, you’re on cuddle doody while I find some food for us” he said the other boys happily coming to each of your sides to cuddle up to you. Minho leaned down and kissed your head “did so well for us kitten, you rest ok?”

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16

[mihii-i]

a demon couldn’t love, only deceive.

Pairings: mizu x fem!reader

CW: nsfw, female reader, afab reader, mildly angsty because yes, misogynistic society, mizu initially referred to as a male, blood, mild violence, fingering, praise, crying, a sprinkle of cunnilingus but not really, sentle gex yay, tit sucking, kind of vanilla tbh but lowkey poetic so, girls kissing oh no, mmm bottom mizu rubs hands tg like an evil fly, mizu being her own biggest hater, i <3 mizu guys I love my gf i feel like my husband went to war while i wait for 2026, not proofread.

A/N: now playing — under the influence by chris brown. omg I’ve been waiting to write more bottom mizu because holy shit also she’s canonically a bottom?? Like I get my girl gives off bde but pleaseeee Someone needs to make my sweetheart feel good don’t hog all the pleasure for yourselves. @fairexy78 🕯️

Screeching of Mizu’s katana abruptly skipping along the large rock in deep scrapes shot through your eardrums as a piercing wail, humming in tune with the whistles of cool winter air bristling across the horizon blanketed in thick sheets of snow. The sudden drag of steel pressed against the sharp stone snapped you out of the mindless daze that occupied your head in the midst of going along with the motions of trailing behind the samurai, your eyes gravitating to align with his own through the hood of his kasa shrouding his face.

“(Name). Get comfortable, we’re going to rest here for the day.” Mizu asserted, glancing over at you without questioning the meek nod you had delivered him.

—

All you could recall as you trailed behind him for endless hours was the repeat of his first meeting with you over and over, broken on repeat like the faulty string of a shamisen bellowing in an endless ring. Every detail remained crystal clear among the events playing out within your thoughts to sear into your irises, pupils dilating with each flash of a detail as minute as the crunch of a singular footstep planted behind Mizu’s from when you had first begun to tail him in the midst of her quest.

The shivers thundering along your frame, stiff from the harsh cold of winter as you stumbled over the unmovable skip in your swift steps with your body tumbling forward to sink into the snow, was something that would never stray away from you as long as you lived. Lingering on the fear stirred in your chest as you could only stare up at the crooks circled around you, clicks of the foreign guns squeezed in their hand over the trigger with their sadistic smiles burning into your skull like the last thing you’d ever see.

It was in the blink of an eye when you caught the splatter of blood tainting the pale white in trickling drops, seeping down to lap at your ankles as you instinctively shrank away. You noticed a man through the blur of your vision, practically strangling the crooks that circled around you, the dry ocean blue of his cloak spreading slightly to give way to his elbows curled against a crook’s chest to squeeze at the fabric draped over their chest. Merely to impale them clean across without answer as scarlet drops specked along the beautiful waves patterned along his blade.

Your eyes raked along his tall stature carefully, from the baggy ends of his harem pants trailing to the dark blue kimono tight against his chest—too short and tight to be considered one even. It simply looked like he took a child’s kimono as a makeshift article of clothing that wouldn’t get in his way. However, you were barely able to retain the sudden gasp that was about to peep out of you as your gaze landed onto the beastly azure of his irises. A half blooded child. You were sure that’s what he was.

Repeated strings of “stop following me.” Or “you will not find what you seek at my side.” Kept smoothing out like a path to heaven leading you on, his dismissal of your presence being met with your fascination with the devil man enticing you further into tracing his path. His disgusted expression staring daggers into you over his shoulder hadn’t pushed you away in the slightest, instead drawing you deeper into the thrashing sea of his plight he so desperately pleaded to mask.

Eventually, the swordsmen couldn’t help but soften in the presence of the beautiful woman following his every move, her enthusiasm and bright energy burning as a lantern of hope that rendered his ice cold heart into a tender mush with every action of yours barely quirking up a smile along his frown. A rare gleam of joy that sparked up within Mizu at your bounding smile drawn over his shoulder in curiosity, head turning away from the warmth of your touch to avoid himself from falling too deep in the comfort you enveloped him in.

His nights were now filled with the newfound content sense bestowed upon him in the wake of you caring for him, finding solace in the fact alone that you didn’t care for his little actions being ruthless or cruel. Simply an aspect of what was needed to survive in the grueling inequality elevated into the confines of society within an isolated Japan. Your little gestures of compassion were enough to make the stern swordsman shift tender in the gentle grasp of your palm tracing along his.

You didn’t see him as a monster. Something he had never heard, even the most intimate, who had even remotely come close to loving him through his half blooded taboo.

Could it be he was falling for you?

He shouldn’t bother. Your kindness was likely out of fear. It was clear someone as filthy as him couldn’t be loved.

Yet, the premise of his earlier beliefs warped into a puddle of worthless irrelevance, previous judgements crumpled into a purely nonexistent state as he felt your lips collide with his suddenly, hand resting on his shoulder as your kiss froze over time itself in that moment. Mizu of course, couldn’t help but kiss you back—albeit a bit hesitantly, lips hugging against your own tenderly in a heated embrace locking the plush muscle together as his hand craned over to thread through your scalp almost desperately in a gesture to pull you in deeper.

Despite your bond carving a deep mark into every bone in his body, Mizu was of course hesitant, if not more guilty as to have been shrouding you in the lies piling up atop your unwary bliss. The curse of his inhibitions gnawing away at him—or rather, her. Regarding the lie of leading you into believing you had fell for a man when in reality, she had been born as a woman in the unfortunate circumstances this world had in fact cursed upon her. Navigating under the guise of a man for the sake of her safety.

Not only had you seen past her demonizing appearance, the shame of her birth and origin evident in her eyes meaning nothing to you, despite being an outcast all over the country. But you had treated her as she had always wanted to be treated, cradling her in a sort of cushion of love that reached for her hand in the depths of hatred she had drowned in all her life.

And how had she repaid you? By allowing someone as benevolent as yourself fall into the deceit of her wretched lies, just as an onryō would cast destruction upon anything in its path.

—

The sound of Mizu clearing his throat caught your attention momentarily, chin tilting up to size him up as he stood upright from the rock. He gently nudged his sword off to the side to lay flat against the small slivers of snow still scattered around the thawed clearing to which you two had set a fire, making sure it was aligned well before stepping away to a tunneling pit of shadows gated between the lines of bleak trees.

You cocked your head to the side in confusion, seeking for the samurai to elaborate on his sudden relocation elsewhere. Mizu sighed, clarifying as to not worry you too much.

“I..need to bathe. There’s a nearby lake past the trees, and it’s not too far off. Call my name if you’re in danger.”

“Ah, alright Mizu. Just be careful alright?”

He swiftly nodded, sliding out the orange glasses from the inner lapel of his kimono as he neatly folded the two pieces over the other in a high click, before gently positioning it on top of the rock so it wouldn’t fall. Noticing your eyes fixed on him, Mizu huffed out as he fought back the urge to roll his eyes, since he knew full well you only looked at him like that when he was forgetting something.

“Ugh, what is it?”

“You’re forgetting something, my sweet samurai.”

Mizu fought back the groan threatening to push past his lips, yet suppressing the smile that clashed against it as well in his overriding internal conflict between annoyance and adoration. How could he possibly deny the woman he loved a gesture of affection? He leaned down, pecking his lips against your temple in a quick, chaste kiss as he stood back up, pursing his lips at your satisfied expression.

“Happy?”

“Very much so, enjoy your bath. But don’t be out for too long. Heard that you’ll wrinkle up if you do.”

As Mizu headed off, you were left alone with your thoughts once more in the gentle pit of silence, nothing but nature’s whistles humming along the sunset brightening the distant snow leaving you at peace with your own mind as a sanctuary in Mizu’s absence. Of course, the first question that had came to your mind was one that would be widely questioned had anyone known of your relationship with him. Why hadn’t he made a move in you or engaged in any intimate acts upon you professing your love to the samurai?

You knew that a man was only so strong, that he couldn’t fight back his urges for so long especially in the presence of a woman whom he loved. So Mizu’s abstinence came as quite the surprise. Was he embarrassed? Inexperienced? Or perhaps he simply had no interest in sex. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it. By now, many would have made love when mentioning the prospect of a kiss alone, so his behavior was fairly strange to you.

Yet you couldn’t judge him for it, you did love him after all. But part of you did desire that level of intimacy with him, even if it wasn’t sex, seeing him bare or holding him with no clothing separating your bodies interrwining would be nice at the very least.

You adored every part of the seemingly ruthless man you had grown attached to, his low voice softening every time he spoke to you, his thin, yet well built frame wrapped around yours when you slept. And of course you wouldn’t dare leave out the part anyone else would’ve deemed impure, even Mizu himself.

The violent maelstrom of crashing tides that eased to a calm shore upon softening, a beautiful storm of bright blue that stabbed into the cruel world with hatred, yet protected you in their touch as their own personal home.

His eyes were the most beautiful part of him, despite the hatred that arose at the hands of his impurity evident on sight.

What you presumed to be several minutes passed in slow accordance with the breeze batting your cheek, worry bubbling up within you, thoughts cluttered in an unending rush of potential scenarios that could’ve unfortunately doomed your lover during his time alone, as he had been gone for quite some time. Well over how long it would usually take to bathe.

Taking a deep breath to push back your initial fear of what you might see, you rose up to your feet in moments, slowly treading through the pathway between the array of thick branches of wood as every crunch of your footsteps rang out in a noise that seemed to slow down with each step forward. You peeked into the area, hearing the swishing streams of the waterfall spilling into the lake in a hushed white noise that calmed you.

Unable to see Mizu anywhere in your swift search, the overwrought panic took over your instincts in the heat of a moment in which you thought you would slam into the face of danger, darting in as you skidded to a halt as the sharp point of a long branch barely poked inches away from your jugular.

Quickly, that panic made way for a series of perplexed emotions overtaking you in seconds, questioning if you were hallucinating at the sight of a nude woman before you, glistening in drops of water dribbling down her body as her chest heaved up and down, likely equally as panicked as you. Not only that, her face resembled that of Mizu’s in an eerily similar fashion, everything down to the thick eyebrows crowning her blue irises matching the man you were with.

It didn’t take you long to notice. At all. Your lover was a woman under the impression of a man, tucking away her identity from the world in fear of ending up dead or worse. Especially with her goals being made easier, even with the factor of her mixed heritage under a more masculine demeanor. Oddly enough, you could empathize with her on a level of what she had been put through. Of course, you were a woman yourself, so you knew what it was like in this patriarchal society.

Mizu only froze up in shame, her breaths shallow in anxious fear as she backed away from you. She had never wanted you to see her like this, she didn’t want you to see even more of her shame, what she had hidden from you for so long. Her lies that could have done away with your relationship by now, as you had been wallowing in the falsehood that was your relationship. A demon couldn’t love, only deceive. That’s what she had been taught about herself, that’s all she knew.

“I’m..sorry..” was all she could muster the courage to choke out, her bottom lip dragging between her teeth to hide away her cracking voice to keep up the emotionless front.

However you didn’t find yourself straying away from the attraction toward Mizu…the strange sensations built up only growing stronger in a desire to hem her in yout grasp. Was it because you understood the struggles of being a woman? Or rather you truly were able to line your eyes along the beauty of her sharp features in a more feminine sense instead.

Whatever it was, you truly didn’t mind. In fact, you felt yourself far more infatuated with your lover than before, chest locking up at the sight of her enchanting form alone, as she was ethereal—out of the question for someone as beautiful as her to be in this world.

You were unable to tear your eyes away from Mizu in the fostered tension of her heavy breaths, quivering with the ache of unshed tears. Her body slowly shrinking back from you if you had done so much as lift a finger closer to her, the life practically draining from her face right before your eyes.

Shallow exhales racked the palpable silence hanging in the darkening sky, the gentle pale glow of the moon caressing her face making Mizu seem all the more unreal to you, like the spirit of a woman described in legends in a trance of captivating beauty. The way gleams of moonlight accentuated her features in a light shine brightening slivers of her thin, muscular body, capturing her as an almost ethereal being who didn’t belong on land, but rather in a sort of heaven that encompassed her beauty.

To put it simply, you were more enthralled by the fact that she was a woman instead of a man, drawn in further by not only her appearance, but the acknowledgment of her struggles as a searing wound in the vile society the two of you resided in. Perhaps everyone saw such a woman as a demon, for they couldn’t fathom her gorgeous features, that clearly proved too much for mortal eyes to behold.

Before Mizu could even open her mouth to justify her actions, scrambling together to apologize for her lies in the presence of her demonic nature that she had the misfortune of existing in—you quickly shoved your index finger against her darkened lips, soaked from the wash of the waterfall continuing to cascade down into the lake in quick rushes. Your eyelids lowered to take in her complexion as you leaned in nose to nose with her, the droplets of water brushing over you like a gift from her body to yours, while Mizu’s expression remained stunned with the way you held yourself up to her willingly. Not disgusted, nor disappointed by her lie, yet rather further reeled into the temptation of love itself.

“Mizu..”

“(Name)..?”

Your breath against her remained as cool as the harsh winds of winter, yet tranquil enough to ease her into relaxing herself under your touch. Carefully trailing your fingers up her arms in little skips along her wet skin, you somehow eased the swordsman into your touch as her body loosened into your arms like the sap of a tree. Melting into your touch in a deep lean with your skin to her nearing that of a sedative, which she could fall asleep safely to.

Every moment you spent drawing the patterns of your hands over her arms like a painting she never wanted to wash off, you silently flickered your gaze over to her lips, eyes flitting to meet hers in the warmth of cerulean softened in the comfort of your touch on her body. Lips drawing closer and closer each time, a surge of elation sparked through you once Mizu leaned in, in time with your own lips. Signaling to you in silence that you are in fact what she wanted, internally grateful in an overwhelming spill of emotions filled within her at the fact that you could accept her for who she is.

The sensation of her your lips hugged to hers ignited the heat of trust linking her heart with another, the desire to remain close to you flaring up once more, as that feeling had been left untouched for so long in the frozen over ridges of her affection and trusted, gated away for so long in a thick barrier of ice. Which now, your love had thawed away, allowing you—no, giving a piece of herself to you to which she could finally be vulnerable.

The waterfall spread to the land skirted around it was frozen over entirely, everything down to the earth covered in snow on the side icy to the touch. Yet despite the often avoided conditions the two of you had found yourself in, the warmth of your bodies fit together was strangely enough to keep you not only hot, yet alive. Flaring with the flames of passion roaring within you as it wasn’t long before you hovered above your lover flat against a slanted, smooth rock buried within the snow, Mizu’s back flush to the cold stone.

“Fuck..”

Her blue eyes buried themselves into your brain from the way she looked up at you, heavy lidded and lips parted in short breaths as you withdrew yourself from the kiss. The look in her eyes alone, that same deep storm in her eyes would for sure be a sight you would commit to memory, grasp dug into your nape as her stoic demeanor was long gone from your touch roaming along her skin, squeezing at her bare hips to which she hummed through her sealed lips.

For certain, this was the woman whom you loved. It would take an army of soldiers to pry you out of her arms and rip you to shreds if it meant being away from her. The sight of her sprawled out bare for you—exposed to your touch, practically waiting for your hands caress her all over affectionately in a plea to the gods that there truly was someone that loved her in this world. Your breath hitched at her foot nudging up against the back of your knee, her eyes still beholding that same glint that made her seem utterly intoxicated from the way you ran your hands over her.

“Can I? Please, Mizu?” You pleaded, hands resting on the inside of her thighs to gentle roll apart the minimal fat on her bones to expose her cunt glistening between her legs.

Her eyes fixed on you intently with each move you had made along her body, surprised at your touches carefully brushing every part of her body as if it was a sacred temple you served to worship. Handling even your kisses along her stomach with the utmost care, occasionally looking up at her for an affirmation of sorts. Catching her breath hitched in her throat from the unfamiliar sensation of this extent of adoration, Mizu quickly rested a hand on the back of your head, delivering you a nod of affirmation to your delight.

Sweet fans of air grazed along her heat as your eyes remained focused on the dampened folds of her cunt spread for you, tracing your middle finger up her slit as a trial as Mizu lulled her head back along the cool flat of the rock in compliance, surrendering over the most intimate parts of herself a promise while she bit back the noises crawling up her throat upon feeling your finger slip past her folds into the moistened velvet caging your fingers.

She was soaked, likely from the buildup of her arousal alongside the aftermath of her bath from earlier. As if her washing herself off was futile by now, the anticipation nervously pooling within her coated her body in a thin layer of sweat with each experimental touch of yours, sheathing your finger into her pussy with caution as you glanced up at Mizu’s face, twisted in pleasure for any signs of discomfort.

Although it wasn’t the first time she had done this, the way you continued to check on her through the overwhelming bliss of your digit curling into her spongy walls sure felt like it was. Mizu only struggled to contain the gasps that fell from her swollen lips as she felt the unexpected drag of your tongue pressed against the velvet of her clit as she writhed beneath you, close-mouthed low moans buzzing against her throat as you latched onto the bundle of nerves between her thighs with each curl of your fingers.

Her cunt left you drunk at her mercy as you lapped away hungrily at the taste seeping onto your tongue, accompanying the gradual increase in volume of her moans while her hips bucked up driving you further into the depths of a haze that caught even Mizu in the whirlwind of your touch. Your fingers continued to stutter their movements in the flurry of your onslaught against her pussy, the taste of her slick smeared across your lips growing far too intoxicating for you to multitask in the blur of you own arousal, Mizu’s gasps pitched to outright lewd moans as you eased your ring finger past her folds as well.

The samurai squirmed in the overwhelming sensations coursing through every vein in her body, her fibers tinged with the feel of your fingers lodged inside her as her walls clamped around your digits like a vice keeping you inside her. Her sharp breaths squeaked out of her alongside the endless stream of whimpers that fell from her lips, quivering against your thrusts as your lips pressed up her torso in a trail of fire. Nose tickling along her let down hair, you smiled as you took the time to brush any strands off her body, lips wrapping around any skin you could land your mouth on across her.

Mizu’s eyes rolled to the back of her head in the strangled chorus of her moans, squeezing them shut as her throat began to run dry from the pressure you exerted onto her chest, free hand palming her right breast while your lips wrapped around the other. Her heart rapidly thumped against her chest in heavy beats as both your fingers sheathing in an out of her, as well as your added stimulation to her chest drove her insane. She had never once been able to bask in the comfort of anyone loving her this much, willing to hang on for dear life even if it was the last thing they did.

Both of you were so deeply coiled up within one another, entwined to the point where seperating you both would be out of the question, the raw passion of the moment embedding a deep crest of each other, worn on both of your hearts with pride. Echos of what you invoked within each other, the enticing fervor of a love so deep it could span across the realm of the god, sever any blade that tried to cut through it whether it was a well trained samurai or the shogun himself.

“You’re so beautiful..do you know that?” You murmured against her tit, tenderly sinking your fingers back in to barely graze along the cavern of her g-spot.

Mizu’s nails dug deep crescents into your bare shoulders, her whines now knowing no end as they drawled out of her like an infinite melody, her hips rolling against your hips quicker to keep up with the pace you set when you pushed them into her while gradually speeding up. Her moans caught up in her throat as small slips of tears streamed down her cheeks, her words coming out as messy sobs that cracked with your thrusts stuffing her full.

“Fuck, I- ah-! (Name)..I love- haah-! Love you so much..” she sobbed, not bothering to speak any more besides those words as her moans did enough in expressing it all.

You smacked your lips away from her glistening breast as your feverish lips pressed to her cheek in assurance, knowing that she was vocal during sex as you could see now, yet not one to talk to convey her feelings. Your lips continued to work along her exposed throat, feeling her whimpers and whines vibrate against your lips with each kiss you planted to her neck.

“I love you too..”

Almost in the blink of an eye, it wasn’t long before her hips jerked in the burn of your fingers stretching her open, stuttering against you inside her. The steady pace of your fingers slowly subsided to a stop as her juices spilled to decorate your fingers, heavy drawn out breaths ringing in your ears as Mizu clung to you for dear life upon reaching her climax.

Wordlessly, she dragged you on top of her as she held you tight to her chest, the same guarded embrace which she always fell asleep to you with as her eyes grew heavy from the exhaustion of your intense experience.

You gently brushed her hair out of her face at the sight of the feared samurai laying below you, open and willing to welcome you into her arms as a rare sight. About to nearly fall asleep in your arms, you recalled how greatful you were to have her in your life, embracing her with all your heart. Whatever she wanted, whatever you wanted in your life amidst the darkness and ache stabbed into this world, the thick aftermath lingering in the air proved that all you needed was each other.

Truly, you believed that the gods were in your favor, as Mizu was a blessing you couldn’t forsake.

A/N: OKAY I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST YESTERDAY BUT IT GOT LATE AND I FELL ASLEEO BEFORE I COULD WRITE THE SECOND HALF HOLY SHIT anywayyyy I like how this one turned out yippee

@fairexy78 eat now dinner’s ready

Yippee I might post again later today or double post Saturday and Sunday if I’m up to it because I planned to post this yesterday and another fic today omg

[ohmytyong]

meet-cute

⤹ now playing: the christmas waltz by frank sinatra

PAIRING: stranger!jaehyun x female!reader

GENRE: smut (minors dni!!), strangers to lovers (?) au, fluff

WARNINGS: alcohol consumption, pet names (baby), explicit sexual content; unprotected sex (!always use protection!), heavy make out, nipple play, slight hair pulling, aftercare, pretty vanilla tbh

WC: 3,4k

SYNOPSIS: you were bummed that you had to spend Christmas all alone in a foreign country after your friends left you behind. little did you you would find a charming stranger to keep you company

A/N: merry christmas to everyone celebrating! here's a little gift from me to you <3

* .♡ *:･ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

The muffled voices of people chatting around you mixed with the old christmas song playing from the bar's speakers filled the silence of your mind like a white noise. You whiffed the sweet scent of the red wine swirling inside the glass you were holding as you moved your hand from side to side, making you aware of your surroundings.

Despite it being Christmas eve, the bar was fuller than what you had expected. You would expect people to be gathered up at their homes, eating and having fun with all their loved ones, exchanging gifts and wishes and then getting wasted, laughing at the weird relative who had some more sips of alcohol than the others.

However, it turns out more people had the same fate as you. Sitting alone, in pairs, or in small groups at probably the only open bar in milan on this jolly day. You were informed about the jazz band that usually played live music here, yet you went to the place the only day of the year that they weren't there. Though it was kinda obvious they wouldn't be here today; it's Christmas eve for God's sake.

You took a sip of your wine, closing your eyes to savor the taste. You didn't know what it was, but the bartender definitely found your exact preference; sweet and strong on the tongue which leaves a slightly bitter aftertaste at the back of your throat.

As you set the glass down at the bar counter, you noticed a gust of air on your side, signaling someone else's presence. The woody masculine cologne that engulfed your nostrils made your head turn discreetly to the side, trying to take a glimpse of the man that it belonged to.

"A glass of Johnnie please, no ice," a soft baritone voice addressed the bartender and you couldn't help but fully turn your body towards the man, angling yourself in a position that showed your interest towards him yet keeping a safe distance.

The man definitely noticed your antics. You felt his fiery gaze look you up and down, taking in your full appearance. You flipped your hair, moving it all to the back which exposed your bare shoulder and upper chest. You noticed with the corner of your eye that the man drew in a sharp breath, shifting his body from side to side on the barstool. Your technique worked.

As you stretched your arm to grab your glass of wine, your heard the man clear his throat. "Now why would a beautiful lady sit alone at a jazz bar on Christmas eve?" the velvety baritone voice asked and the question was addressed to none other than you.

You finally met the man's gaze for the first time. He was gorgeous. His jet black hair was nicely styled, parted in the middle and framing his heavenly structured face, falling a bit long at the nape of his neck. His dress shirt was sitting tightly around his shoulders and chest, in contrast with the tie he was wearing which was hanging rather loosely around his neck. His sleeves were rolled up and you noticed his arm muscles flex as he brought the scotch glass to his lips, his watch glimmering under the dim lighting.

"Funny enough, I was about to ask the exact same thing," you played along, hiding your flirty smirk behind your glass of wine.

"You're looking for a beautiful lady too?" he asked, his eyes creasing as he smiled teasingly.

You chuckled at that, covering your mouth with you hand. So he had a sense of humor. "I meant a handsome man. But whatever rows your boat," you decided to play along, flirt with him too.

His eyes were piercing. He looked at you as if he were walking for miles in the dry desert and you were an oasis just a little ahead of him, like he was desperate to drink you all up. It would be lie though if you denied that you weren't looking at him the same way.

"I mean," he said between low chuckles, "there has to be a good reason why you're here. And alone," he finished, waiting for your answer.

You sighed deeply, tapping your fingers on the counter. "I was supposed to spend Christmas with my friends but they decided to be assholes and pull a prank on me. They dumped me. Told me we were going to Milan while they are in Vienna right now," you said, downing the remaining wine in your glass in one go.

The man visibly winced at what you said, as if he was physically in pain. "I'm sorry to hear that. That's so cruel, wow," he said, reaching out a confident hand to grab your hand resting on the counter, giving it an apologetic squeeze. Oh he knows what he's doing.

"What's your excuse for being here, pretty boy?" you asked playfully and he smiled. "My story isn't as sad as yours, it's actually kinda funny. My uh- my flight got canceled. I was in Milan for work and I was supposed to go home for the holidays but..." he trailed off, pressing his lips.

"Damn, i'm sorry," you said and you decided to flirt back now. Gaining dominance over his hand, you squeezed it, rubbing circles with your thumb over the back of his hand.

You noticed his eyes fixate on the spot your bodies were touching. Without realizing it, your barstool had moved closer to his and you could feel the heat of his body radiating along with the strong scent of his cologne. You hoped your perfume hadn't worn off after hours of wearing it.

"Actually," he spoke up, removing his hand from your grip, "something good came out of all this misfortune. I'm sitting at a nice cozy place with a beautiful lady to keep me company. Not that bad, isn't it? I'm Jaehyun by the way," he offered you his name, stretching his arms for a proper handshake.

It was ironic. You had already held hands without even introducing yourselves to each other. You giggled at the gesture and he smiled at your reaction, eagerly waiting for your name and your handshake with his arm still stretched towards you.

You gave him your name as you returned the handshake. The sight of the two of you must have looked somewhat awkward from a third person's point of view, but for you the interaction between you and Jaehyun had a warmth to it.

You didn't say it out loud like he did, but spending time with a lovely handsome stranger in a foreign place on Christmas eve wasn't as bad as it sounded.

You didn't realize it but you and Jaehyun had already been talking for almost two hours. Time passed by quickly, you were having a great time with him. He was weirdly charming, flirting with you in a slightly uncomfortable way despite the aura of confidence he radiated. He cracked jokes more than you expected and always found silly excuses to touch you, anywhere he could, signaling his obvious interest towards you.

It would be a lie if you said you weren't as interested in him, if more than he was. You found yourself laughing at everything he said, and you didn't mind the soft touches of his hand here and there. In fact, you craved them even more. You craved him. After two hours of talking, you weren't sure if it was the wine, the sleepiness or the pure lust you were feeling, but you couldn't bring yourself to listen to everything he said. You were lost in his eyes, his lips, his hands, his scent. You were sober enough to understand the pure attraction you had for him.

The bar was now almost empty. You saw the bartender cleaning some tables in the back, and only two groups of friends were there beside you and Jaehyun. You took this as a signal to get leaving as soon as possible.

After arguing with Jaehyun over who gets to pay for the drinks, he ultimately won over you, being kind enough to pay for all your refills of wine. You were opposed to this at first, but his kind gesture made your want grow even more, and the aching sensation between your thighs became too noticeable to ignore.

You wrapped your coat closely around your neck as you stepped outside the bar in the crisp coldness of December. You couldn't just go back to your hotel room like this. The night was still young, and you weren't ready to leave Jaehyun just yet.

"So, any plans for the rest of the night?" you asked, trying to get some information you could use in your favor.

Jaehyun shrugged, lifting his shoulders. "Not really. I mean, I'm alone here so there isn't anything else to do during this time of the night," he said, but you noticed that he wanted to say more than that.

You decided to take initiative and help him out of his shyness. "I know it's gonna sound a bit weird but," you drew in a breath, shivering from the cold and the nervousness, "would you like to come over to my hotel room for one more round of drinks? It's almost Christmas" you said looking at your watch.

Jaehyun tried to suppress a smile that was threatening to spread on his lips. You had cracked him. You knew he wanted you as much as you wanted him, and neither of you were ready to let go of each other so easily. Besides, like he said, you were all alone here. You only knew each other and there wasn't anything more fun than to spend more time with a person you grew to like. He had no excuse to refuse your offer.

With a hesitant nod, he looked into your eyes, smiling softly as he tried to study the intentions behind your question. "Sure, why not?"

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Jaehyun kicked the door of you hotel room closed as he kissed you deeply, his hands resting on your back while yours were wrapped around his neck. Dropping your bag on the floor, you hurriedly took off your shoes, throwing them somewhere around the room.

Jaehyun struggled a little untying his shoelaces, but you helped him get rid of his jacket, throwing it somewhere behind him. You let your coat fall off your body, and with a quick motion your hands were back to where they were, wrapped around jh neck, pulling him close to reach his lips again.

The kiss was electric. Your entire body heated up with lust as you tasted on his lips the mixture of the different alcoholic drinks you had consumed earlier. Jaehyun slipped his tongue into your mouth, lowering his hands to the small of your back as you cupped his cheek with one hand, the other gripping the locks of his hair. In the heat of the moment, he wasted no time cupping your ass, lifting you up to wrap your legs around his waist.

On the short walk back to your hotel, you felt the constant need for him steadily rising and rising to the point you couldn't keep your hands to yourself anymore. It must've been hard for Jaehyun to keep his composure too, as he couldn't resist his urges anymore, kissing you in the elevator as you went up to the floor of your room.

You were both so needy for each other. Your tongues battled for dominance as Jaehyun lead you to the bed, dropping your body on the soft mattress as he towered above you, never breaking the kiss.

Your grip on his hair tightened, and he knew you wanted more. He attached his lips on your neck, pressing soft warm kissed along the sensitive area. He trailed his mouth from under your ear down to your already half-exposed chest and you mentally thanked yourself for choosing to wear a low-cut top. Soft moans escaped your lips as Jaehyun found all your favorite spots to kiss, smirking at the sounds that came out of your mouth.

His lips left your skin and you whined at the lack of his touch. He looked up into your eyes, searching for any type of consent, something that told him you needed him as badly as he needed you.

"What are we even doing?" he chuckled, running his fingers along your cheek.

You smiled at that. "i don't know,," you were honest with him. "But whatever it is, I like it. And I want it. Do you?" you asked him and he nodded quickly, resting his thumb on your lips.

"You have no idea" he said and in a second, his lips crashed with yours as he continued the battle of dominance you had previously started.

Jaehyun kept kissing you everywhere. No spot in your exposed body was left unattended by his soft lips, yet he needed more of you and you needed him in more places too. As if on cue, you arched your back to help him take off your top, followed shortly with an unclasp of your bra, the straps falling down your shoulders as he yanked it away. He immediately buried his face in your chest, sucking one nipple while teasing the other one with his fingers.

With trembling hands due to the pleasure, you loosened Jaehyun's tie, hastily unbuttoning his shirt. He sensed your struggle and detached himself from your boobs to help you get him undressed. Removing his shirt, he revealed his toned body to you, muscles flexing with every single of his movements. You didn't have enough time to fully appreciate his upper body as he dipped back in, not wanting to leave your nipples neglected.

Soft moans and whimpers left your lips as he kept on kissing you down your entire body, trailing your stomach down to your pants. Swiftly pulling the zipper, he slowly removed your pants and underwear, kissing your inner things along the way.

Your body jolted at the cold sensation of your naked core meeting the air in the room, and Jaehyun's mouth was so close to where you needed him the most that the thought alone made you even wetter.

Jaehyun took a step back to fully look at you. His pupils were dilated, eyes filled with nothing but lust and need. "Gosh you're so beautiful" he said in his low voice, a soft grunt escaping him as he unbuckled his belt, pulling down his pants and boxers revealing his own throbbing dick.

You gulped at the sight of his size, but it made you even more curious of how he would feel inside you. Jaehyun lowered himself above you, capturing your lips in a lazy passionate kiss.

"I really wanna take my time with you but I can't wait any longer. Do you think you can take me right now? No prep?" he asked you, the neediness in his eyes and voice so obvious, you could come undone any minute by now.

The truth is, you weren't sure if you could fit all of him inside you. But you needed him. you wanted him. The sooner the better. You couldn't take any more foreplay or teasing even though you'd like it. You just wanted to relase all the tension off your body.

"I can take it. I can take you," you said and you saw Jaehyun's eyes darken at your eager tone. He wasted no time, lining himself between your legs as he grabbed the base of his cock, bringing it to the opening of your folds.

"Are you sure you want this, Y/n?" Jaehyun asked you, waiting for your final answer, the one that would give me the green light to go.

You nodded. "yes, Jaehyun please. I want you right now," you pleaded and it was all that was needed for him to slowly thrust inside you, your velvety walls wrapping around his veiny length as he entered deeper and deeper until he bottomed out inside you, his hips touching yours.

A long moan was heard by both of you at the sensation of your bodies meeting in such an intimate way. "Fuck you're so warm" Jaehyun groaned and you moaned just at the sound he made, his eyes shut as he tried to fully feel you ad you took him all in.

Once you gave him the signal that he could move, he slowly lifted his hips, thrusting his dick in and out of your pussy, earning heavy breaths from you. Your arms searched for anchor at his toned back, digging your fingers in his shoulders as his thrusts grew faster and more eager, trying to get you to moan louder for him.

And it worked. As he kept on reaching spots so deep you never thought anyone could ever reach, Jaehyun kissed down your neck, groaning at the sound of your continuously louder moans, smirking on your skin when he pinched your nipped and you squealed, leaving out a high-pitched scream.

"You're so good at this Jae, you make me feel so good" you said in between moans and the nickname worked like magic for him. His breathing became heavier, burying his head on the crook of your neck as his thrusts became sloppier.

"Fuck you're such a good girl for me, I'm- fuck" Jaehyun's voice was mumbled as he spoke in the mattress, your moaning growing louder and louder.

"Please Jae I wanna cum, it's so good," you whispered, your breathing becoming sharper as he pressed a finger on your clit, rubbing it softly as he angled your hips higher to gain more access inside you. Your legs wrapped tight around his waist as his body was pressed closely on top of you. Jaehyun tried to kiss you, but the burning sensation between your legs kept you moaning inside his mouth, your eyes rolling in the back of your head as you reached closer to your climax.

"Jae I'm- I-" you tried to speak but the pleasure was too much for your brain to properly work.

Jaehyun never stopped nor changed his movements, quickly understanding what you like and what makes you a whimpering mess under him. "Come on baby, cum for me" he groaned as he kept on going, rubbing your clit slightly faster.

Your legs shook around his waist, a loud cry leaving your lips as you came around his cock. Jaehyun kept on going, riding you through your high as he chased his own. Hearing your soft moans, he came not long after you, warm liquid filling you up as your throbbing walls clenched around his length.

The two of you stayed like this for a while. Jaehyun only pulled out of you once his breathing was more steady, and you winced at the sudden emptiness you felt without his body inside you, or even on top of you.

Jaehyun layed for a few more seconds before he got up, searching for his boxers around the room. "I'm gonna get some tissues to clean you up, is that alright baby?" the pet name felt so natural coming from him. It was weird that it didn't really hit you when he said it during sex, but right now it made your stomach twitch.

Jaehyun went to the bathroom and came back holding some tissues. You moved your body towards him and let him clean you up from all the remaining liquids he had spilled on you. You found the gesture adorable, especially when you saw the concentration on his face, trying to leave absolutely no dirty spot on your body.

You thanked him for it and got up to find some clean clothes you could wear to sleep. Jaehyun was too comfortable getting under the bedsheets, laying in your bed as a sign that he would stay the night.

Fishing his phone from the inside pocket of his jacket, he read the time. It was way past midnight by now, and neither of you noticed how quickly time had passed when you had such a great time with each other.

His lips tugged into a playful smile before he spoke. "Look, it's past midnight. Merry Christmas!" he said as you climbed into bed beside him.

You laughed at his enthusiasm and sighed, turning to face him. If you were to tell yourself that you wouldn't spend Christmas with your friends this year but rather with a hot total stranger you came across at a jazz bar, you wouldn't believe it. But now, nuzzling into his chest, hearing the slow and steady beating of his heart, you were content with this turn of events.

You cupped the side of his face and his cheek rested heavy in your palm as he leaned his head to your touch. You pressed a soft peck on his lips, smiling. "Merry Christmas".

* .♡ *:･ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

TAGS: @peachjaem00 @bbyyhyuck @vdollys @positionslab @matchahyuck

@renjun-fairy @thoughtfulqueenlady @uwuheeseungie @back2jisung @xxxx-23nct

@markleefuckme @letmein2urheart

join my taglist !!

[golden-moony]

rumour has it | LN4

pairings: lando norris x model!fem!oc summary: everyone knows Lando has been single for a while, but when fans start to notice too many coincidences involving him and a model, his relationship status suddenly becomes the center of attention.

landonorris posted to his story!

[caption 1; ✈️✈️] [caption 3; it's summer time babyyy]

irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; what time is it? summer time!] [caption 2; my serotonin levels right now📈📈]

lnfour

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lnfour besties who go on vacation together, stay together 🤜🤛

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user1 f1's greatest wag

user2 SAY IT LOUDER user3 apparently max has competition now👀 user4 user3 NEVER user5 user3 context??? user6 user5 according to f1twt lando is on vacation not only with friends and family but also with a model named irina user7user5 crazy people who assume that Lando and Irina are together just because they are both on a yacht at sea🤦‍♀️

team_quadrant things we love to see 🫶

user8 aww literal boyfriends

user9 i guess not only "besties" are on vacation with lando right now huh ☕

user10 i'm gone for 1 minute and now lando is supposedly dating a new girl??? bro give me a break

user11 nah they're not dating, i don't even think they're in the same place tbh 😂😂 user12 user11 i've been saying this!!! people see them on a yacht and at sea and assume they're next to each other lol

user13 can we focus on lando and max matching outfits?? 😻

user14 they're soulmates if u ask me user15 best duo for real 🧡

irinakrausse

liked by riabish, landonorris, francisca.cgomes, and 35,978 others!

irinakrausse We got no troubles, life is the bubbles under the sea🧜‍♀️

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user1 i'm here for f1twt but bro i didn't expect her to be so beautiful like omg??

user2 RIGHT??? i think i'm in love now 😍 user3 i was ready to be jealous of her but now i'm jealous of lando tbh user4 user3 MOOD. SHE'S SO PRETTY

user5 oh lando i totally get you now 😳

user6 man has incredible taste honestly

user7 i'm no better than a man omg

lailahasanovic what a woman🥵🔥

liked by irinakrausse

user8 laila sweety what are u doing here?? user9 user8 u new here? laila and irina have been friends for a long time lol user10 user9 when people find out that Irina has more wag friends they're gonna lose their minds😂

user11 lando this lando that but IRINA HOW CAN YOU BE SO PRETTY???? 😍😍

user12 not lando liking the pic😂

user13 he's been liking irina's pics for months now, this is nothing new haha user14 i'm more surprised to see ria in the likes tbh user15 yeah yeah but WHAT ABOUT KIKA??? user16 user15 they've worked together

user17 STUNNING 😍😍😍

user18 JUST ONE CHANCE IRINA PLEASE😭🙏

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, martingarrix, irinakrausse, and 218,054 others!

landonorris aquaman who?

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user1 y'all he's mine go away

user2 get in line girl 🙄 user3 i'm afraid he's already taken user4 user3 WHAT DID I MISS?? user5 user4 girl where have u been the last week?😂 streets are sayin' he's on vacation with a model user6 user4 he's on vacation with friends, don't believe dumb rumors

user7 SIR I WASN'T PREPARED OMG😳😳

user8 liked by irina krausse 👀

user9 she's trying so hard to be relevant

user10 user9 ... it's just a like, jeez

user11 i would kill for that smile 🥹

user12 FR SO PRETTY user13 lando's smile >>>>>> user14 okay but now imagine that irina was the one who took the photo and lando is looking at her like this🥹 user15 user14 STOP my heart would melt 😩 user16 user14 I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING

mclaren lookin' good 🔥🔥

user17 admin being a total mood

danielricciardo cool pics, can i borrow the photographer?😇

landonorris no. user18 DANNY WHAT DO YOU KNOW

irinakrausse posted to her story!

irinakrausse

liked by savnorris, pietra.pilao, landonorris, and 79,828 others!

irinakrausse already missing my vitamin sea 🌞

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user1 WOAH

user2 my sentiments exactly

lilymhe it should be illegal to look this good in public💘

liked by irinakrausse

user3 LILY?????? user4 is this a way of welcoming the new wag? 👀 user5 user4 this clout chaser is NOT a wag user6 user5 jealous much? lol user7 lily honey tell us what u know pleeeease

user8 i wanna be lando so bad right now 😳

user9 she looks like luisa or is it just me?

user10 I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the resemblance🫣 user11 lando clearly has a type 😅 user12 luisa is way more beautiful than this girl. user13 user12 there's no need to compare two gorgeous women, grow up

user14 A WARNING NEXT TIME PLEASE i wasn't ready for the last pic 🥵

user15 this is such a mood tbh user16 and lando is getting all that i can't believe his luck 😫

user17 SO PRETTY OMG 😍😍

user18 is that lando's hand in the 5th pic or am i crazy?

user19 IT'S HIS BRACELET 100% user20 you're crazy indeed

irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; work time!] [caption 2; 📸] [caption 3; 😴😴]

| landonorris replied to your story

landonorris

liked by martingarrix, irinakrausse, patriciooward, and 988,756 others!

landonorris CARLANDO PODIUM BABY!! 🏆

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mclaren EVERYBODY LOVED THAT 🔥🔥

user1 let's go team!!! user2 PLEASE MCLAREN WE NEED THEM TOGETHER AGAIN😭😭 user3 ADMIN BEING A TOTAL MOOD RN user4 vamooooos!!!!! user5 ADMIN IS ONE OF US ❤️🧡

user6 massive win for us Carlando girlies 😭💖

user7 I'M SO HAPPY OMG user8 my carlando heart is full of joy rn 😭❤️‍🩹

user9 YOU GUYS SLAYEDDDDD ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

carlossainz55 VAMOS, CABRÓN 👊🏆

liked by landonorris

user10 carlando nation we really won 🥹 user11 BEST DUO FR 🚀 user12 OUR BOYS ❤️🧡

team_quadrant i'm not crying, you are 😭😭

user13 are u crying?? hahaha... i think i'm crying! user14 user13 elite reference right there

user15 best podium of the season!!! 🫶

irinakrausse That was a smooth operation indeed! 🫡🏆

liked by landonorris

user16 so we got carlando podium AND irina's first comment on lando's ig? HOW ARE WE FEELING CHAT? user17 user16 OH WE REALLY WON user18 hard launch is around the corner y'all 👀 user19 user18 *pretends to be shocked* 😂

user20 SO PROUD OF YOU TWO 🧡🧡

irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; rise and shine, everyone!] [caption 2; someone's back🧡]

lando.jpg

liked by maxfewtrell, alex_albon, irinakrausse, and 352,048 others!

lando.jpg 🦄❄️

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user1 HE POSTED IRINA!!!!!

user2 it was about damn time! user3 bro really said i'm in love and i want everyone to know that user4 user3 and i respect him for it 😂 user5 user3 i mean it's irina, who could blame him? user6 is that really irina? user7 user6 they're in the same place, you can confirm it in Irina's stories

user8 5th slide is my new roman empire

user9 the way i just SCREAMED omg user10 wasn't expecting that at all 😂

user11 he didn't win the championship but won at love🫶 how cute

liked by lando.jpg

user12 HE LIKED IT OMG user13 that like it's all the confirmation i need

user14 bestie don't be shy and drop more pics with irina 🤭

user15 are we gonna talk about the unicorn helmet or what?

user16 that's high fashion if u ask me user17 i'll never understand how irina fell in love with lando when he has this kind of looks😂 user18 user17 yeah but have you seen lando? 🫦 user19 user17 she saw he was rich and fell for him lol user20 user19 ugh haters are not allowed in here, go away🤮

irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; white paradise🤍] [caption 2; 🤍✨]

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[caption 2; 🤍✨] [caption 3; ☃���⛷️]

irinakrausse

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irinakrausse ❄️

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user1 the real question is: can lando fight?

user2 one day you're fighting for lando and the next you're fighting WITH lando user3 user2 that's the ✨irina effect✨

user4 this woman is unreal 😍😍

user5 lando watch out cause you and i are not friends

user6 so we're all in love with irina right? user7 user6 of course we are! user8 user6 i mean just look at her! 😻

user9 irina please drop your hair routine for the girlies🙏

user10 c'mon guys!!! new year has to bring their relationship confirmation (i'm probably delulu but whatever)

user11 we've waited enough, i can't do this anymore😩 user12 we need to keep manifesting 🕯️🕯️

user13 STUNNING 😍

landonorris do you wanna build a snowman?

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user14 alright bro's in love 😂 user15 sir u need to keep workin on these pickup lines user16 lando no-rizz strikes again user17 user16 i meaaan irina loves disney movies, so i guess he does have the rizz 🤷‍♀️

user18 MOTHER IS MOTHERING 🔥🔥🔥

user19 okay but who was the photographer? 👀

user20 sis we all know the answer to that 😏

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, pierregasly, irinakrausse, and 899,328 others!

landonorris Happy birthday to the most intelligent, funny and gorgeous woman I've ever met. Love you, darling🧡

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user1 Y'ALL IT'S HAPPENING OMFG

user2 MOM AND DAD 🗣️🗣️

user3 IT'S FINALLY OFFICIAL

maxfewtrell woah hold on, irina was your gf?

georgerussell63 WAIT WHAT carlossainz55 WAIT WHAT alex_albon WAIT WHAT maxverstappen1 WAIT WHAT danielricciardo WAIT WHAT charles_leclerc WAIT WHAT landonorris y'all stfu 🙄 user4 LOOOOOOL user5 it was the worst secret ever kept 😂

user6 alexa play that should be me (u two are so cute tho😻)

user7 i wanna be sad but i'm actually so happy for them🥹 user8 user7 MOOD they're adorable 😍

user9 lando you lucky man 😳

user10 they're both lucky tbh user11 user10 hottest couple ever fr 🥵

user12 ARE YOU FUCKING SEEING THIS CHAT WHATJSNFJKSNDKFFNCN

user13 YESSSSSJSNFKS IM SO HAPPY I WANNA CRY user14 we've waited MONTHS but it was so worth it🥹💗

mclaren QUEEN AND KING 👑💘

user15 admin is one of us, no doubt

user16 last pic it's so cute i can'tttt🥺

user17 lando is really setting a high standard here

user18 FR irinakrausse where did u find this man? asking for a friend user19 i need a lando in my life like rn

irinakrausse alexa play london boy by taylor swift

liked by landonorris

irinakrausse oh and i love u moreeee🥰❤️‍🔥 user21 CUTEST COUPLE EVER user22 can u two adopt me please?🥺 user23 AND SHE'S A SWIFTIE? irina just became my fav wag 🛐

user24 ok ok but does this mean we'll get more of Irina at the races this year or what?

user25 i mean i hope so irinakrausse you'll have to wait and see (yes) user26 YAY OMFG I CANT WAIT !!!!!!

author's note: hope y'all enjoyed it! would love to know your thoughts <3 btw feel free to leave any request 🤍

[justaaveragereader]

I Hate You

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: Dom!Hwa, Toxic Hwa, Sadistic Hwa he’s just a huge red flag tbh , Mafia!Hwa, Hate Sex, Sub!Reader, Spit, Name Calling, Passing Liquid From One Mouth To Another, Degradation, Oral (Giving), Unprotected Sex, Cream Pie, Choking, Angsty, Manhandling, If I Missed Anything…👀Lemme Know👏🏼!

A/N: Hear me out…some about Hwa with a damn grill gone do it for me EVERY TIME! Him and that dang fur coat is giving mafia, if you disagree…you are blind. I was listening to Amy Winehouse ‘You Know I’m No Good.” and instantly thought of this for Hwa! Then I saw the unit pic him and Hongjoong took where Hwa is wearing black and white with that sleazy, smoldering look on his face and internally screameddddd! I swear ever since bouncy Hwa plagues my mind faithfully😔, I’m down bad fr. Also this isn’t fully proof read so if there is some mistakes…💀 my bad yall.

✍️Masterlist✍️

“Fuck you Park Seonghwa.” You spit through gritted teeth, both cheeks squished between one of his lackey henchmen.

“Give me the word boss, and I’ll end her pretty ass right here.”

Letting out a deep chuckle, man spreading even further in his chair, long brown fur coat draping against his seated figure. Letting out a click of his tongue. He snaps his fingers, the henchmen immediately let go of you. Your figure smacks the floor with a loud thud.

“You do have quite the mouth on you.” He says through laughter. Mocking you, like you are the scum of the earth. His eyes cut through you like sharpened glass. Your eyes shoot up briefly taking in his figure. Shirt unbuttoned right below his pecks, showing quite a bit of skin. Adjusting himself, you realize he’s bricked up against his jeans, the fabric dancing with different material down both pant legs. Was this fucker really getting off seeing you in misery?!

“I like them mouthy, it turns me on.” Getting up from his lax state in the chair, he makes his way over to you. You clench your face in disgust as he walks closer to you, shoes echoing with each step. You’ve seen this man in the daylight, and would never assume he was a monster by night.

His henchmen stand still almost like toy soldiers. Not daring to move an inch. This single man held so much power in just his aura it felt almost suffocating. Intoxicating…he’s got the type of power you could get drunk off of. Flicking his head to the side the group of men quickly file out. Leaving you and Seonghwa alone in the back of the warehouse.

“You wanted to see me.” He pauses his sentence, lifting his hands up, turning in a slow circle so you can soak in his full presence.

“Bask it in princess, because here I am, in the flesh.” He says almost too cocky for your liking. Smacking your lips at his over the top response. You roll your eyes, finding anything but him to look at, refusing to stroke his god-like ego.

“Now the real question is, I heard you were looking for big ol’ bad me.” He says through a pout, inching his way closer and closer to you. He moved swiftly, and was just as smooth as a snake.

Squatting down to your level, he places his hand on your jaw making you look at him. Your eyes burn holes into his. Lips drawn up tightly, almost snarling at him like you are kind of wild animal. Your veins can’t help but be filled with hate for this man. You hate that you seek him out, you hate how perfect he is in your eyes, you hate how he can do no wrong, you hate how hard you fell for him. You aren’t supposed to fall for a man like Park Seonghwa, no one was supposed to fall for a man like Park Seonghwa.

“Why are you looking for me? Aren’t you done with me?” He says nonchalantly. You feel like he’s spitting on you, like he’s showing you nothing but disrespect, like you mean nothing to him.

“Shut the fuck up.” You grit out, trying your best to move your face out of his grip, but he’s stronger than you. Making your head swoon with his strength, he was a no good for nothing man, but you were drawn to him. A true damsel in distress.

“Ooo I like when you talk nasty to me, it gets me hard. Real hard…” he says practically breathless, clearly he was turned on. He had been bricked since he saw his men toss carry your fighting body in the warehouse.

“I fucking hate you.” You spit at him. Words laced with venom. Laughing in your face, this was your routine with him. You say you hated him, how you weren’t looking for him, which lead to fucking, and him kicking you out. You’ve both danced with routine before.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop asking about me, stop looking for me.” He says kindly, but you know there is another layer to his soft spoken words. He's so unbothered at your hate for him, so sick and twisted in the mind that it fuels his body. Your eyes just cut to him, before rolling, darting away from him again. You didn’t want to admit out loud, nor give him the satisfaction of admitting that you were looking for him.

“Don’t look away from me y/n.” He states firmly. Gripping your face tighter, eyes flickering with games beneath them. Your eyes shoot back to him, almost annoyed at him.

“You hate me so much right? Then quit asking for me, quit looking for me.” He spits, making you wince after each word he speaks to you. Your eyes water slightly, moving your eyes to look to the side you were not going to give him any satisfaction.

“I hate you more than you can imagine Park Seonghwa.” Your whisper out loud, he can hear the broken record playing in your voice. The routine you constantly bestow on him.

“You know who I am, and you know just exactly what I do. So don’t shed any tears for me.” Shoving your face slightly back, he stands up, moving to sit back back on his chair. You watch as his fur coat sways from side to side as he plants himself on his chair. That crooked smile of his, gracing his face. You were disposable to him.

Your eyes watch his every move, popping open a bottle of liquor he takes a swig, shooting it down his throat like it was water. Smacking his lips obnoxiously, as he keeps eye contact with you. It was a battle in dominance that you knew you would lose. Leaning back in his chair, with the bottle resting between his legs. Your eyes slowly trace his body, soaking in every thing about this twisted man. Your body screamed for this man, your heart cried for him. You feel a flush of heat in between your legs at his cocky demeanor. With each sip of liquor he takes, he makes sure to keep eye contact with you while he shoots the tart liquid down. You catch a sly smile of his before he tips the bottle to slowly drip liquid down his chest.

With his head slightly cocked back he watched you through hooded eyes. His Matz neck tattoo sticking out like a sore thumb.

“Go on now princess, lick it up.”

You watched as the liquor ran down his body, drenching his neck and abdomen. Your eyes flicked down to his stomach, slowly traveling up his neck, meeting his eyes. Park Seonghwa was no good, you knew he was no good, hell, even he knew he was no good but that didn’t stop you. It didn’t stop the feeling of need growing in your core. With a smack of your lips you get on your hands, as you were still on the floor, slowly making your ways towards him, degrading yourself even further for him. Hands coming up to rest against his clothed thighs. Hard on staring you right in the face, thick at the base, with a lean to one side. Your fingers brush over it, trailing the thick vein that pulsates. His grin takes over his whole face, checkmate.

While he’s slack against the chair, man spreading so you fit in between his legs, he looks down at you. Grill twinkling in the poor fluorescent lights, he looks like trouble. His eyes say more than his own words do.

“Go on now sugar, be a good girl and put that tongue to use.” He says through a small chuckle, chest vibrating with each laugh.

“I know that pretty mouth is good for more than saying how much you hate me.”

You lick your lips slightly, before inching your body closer to his, your heated tongue comes into contact with his abdomen. Licking the liquor that remained there. The flavors makes your mouth water, while liquor was never your vice. Park Seonghwa was. He grips the handles of his chair, the feeling of your warm, soft tongue on his skin was like a reward. You were practically waving the white flag in his face. He won, he always wins.

Your tongue dips between each individual ab muscle, making sure not to leave any inch of skin uncovered. He tasted like heaven, yet you know this was far from it. As you inched further down his body you come right below his belly button. His happy trail right beneath your tongue, eliciting a loud groan out of him. He comes to cup the back of your neck, encouraging you to go lower. The fur from his coat tickles the sides of your arms, fingers on the button of his jeans, giving him a once over again you pop the button. Shimmying his pants down to his thighs his hard cock springs out, of course he was going commando. You stare up at him in disgust, jealousy lies beneath your skin.

His hand grips the back of your neck firmly, almost like he’s a mother cat, snatching his kitten up. He stares at you from beneath his nose. Taunting you, getting off at your misery. His member jumps slightly at seeing you in such a distressed state.

“I knew you were coming today ma. I knew you were going to warm my cock, so I thought why not forgo the boxers.”

You swallow loudly, gulping down the jealousy you were harboring. You should feel dirty, disgusted at the fact he knew you’d warm his leaking cock. Yet you can’t help but feel a swell of pride in your chest. He was waiting on you.

“You must’ve been pretty excited to see me.” You say, not looking him in his eyes but your voice gives you away. The small cracks and whimpers that leave your mouth are enough to know he’s got you in his trap per usual.

His black hair framed his face perfectly, the poor lighting made him look like he descended from heaven. Gripping his hard cock, you move the pre cum around the tip of it. Letting the back of your neck go, he leans back, watching the scene in front of him unfold. The feeling of your soft padded thumb on the tip of his head made him let out a groan. Black hair falling in front of his face.

Gathering all the spit in your mouth you slowly let it drop on his cock, the cool contrast to his hot member has him hissing, like the true snake he is. You lower your body, your soft lips engulf the tip. Giving it a few sucks, tossing his head back he grips the arms on his chair so tightly you watch his knuckles turn white. You look up at him through your lashes, it’s like he has sensors any time your eyes are on him. Biting his lip he says through a breathy chuckle..

“It’s been a while ma, take it easy on poor me.”

Your pussy flutters at the thought of him not giving himself to anyone but you, women threw themselves at Seonghwa, hell, even men threw themselves at Seonghwa. Times like this are when your head gets filled with disappointment but your heart gets filled with joy. Popping off his cock you lick a stripe up his leaking member, tasting the saltiness of him. Your mind clouds with thoughts…were you the last person he was with? Did he truly wait for you? The thoughts are too loud in your head, and Seonghwa notices. Brushing a thumb over your cheek, it breaks the spell on you. Crashing you down to reality.

“I’m not doing this.” You whisper out, brushing your hands off on his fur coat. You stand up, dusting your knees off. Looking him straight in the eye.

“I’m not dealing with your mind games Seonghwa!”

Everytime you raise your voice a higher octave his cock bobs up and down. The spit still pooling on his waiting cock, wrapping his own hand around it, he slowly strokes himself up and down watching your frantic figure yell at him.

“Mind games? What mind games?”

“Fuck you Seonghwa! You know exactly what I’m talking about! You fuck with my mind! You tell me to stay away from you but then you fill my head saying shit like ‘oh it’s been a while’, you know exactly what you do!” Yelling so loudly it bounces off the warehouse walls, echoing down the room. Not caring if his tin soldiers hear. Letting out a quiet laugh he looks up at you through hooded eyes, eyes so pitch black they swallow up his pupil.

“You know what I am, you know exactly who I am.” He says while continuing to stroke his cock, getting hard at the thought of you yelling at him, causing such a big fuss for lil ol’ him.

“You are such a piece of shit you know that?”

Biting his lip he leans forward, almost taunting you. Stomach muscles contracted with how fast he was close to reaching his peak.

“You are all bark and no bite, you hate me so much. Always screaming how you hate me but you always come crawling back. You hate me or you hate the thought of being without me?” He says matter of factly, hitting the nail right on the head. Steam is practically radiating off your body. Letting out a huff you march over to him, snatching the liquor bottle from his side, taking a long drink from it, before hovering over him. Sticking out his tongue, you let the liquor splash into his mouth, and down his throat. Shoving his upper body back, you slap his hands away. Shoving your pants down to your ankles before stepping out of them. Ripping the shirt over your head. Placing each of your thighs on the outer side of his legs, hovering over his waiting member.

“You taste so good.” He says through a whisper, licking his lips, drinking down any leftover liquid you splashed in his mouth. Grabbing the empty liquor bottle he takes another swig, groaning as you slowly lower your sopping wet pussy onto his waiting cock. He fills you wall to wall. Deliciously just like the last time. Gripping you by the back of your neck, he brings you close to his face, the tips of your noses brush against each other.

“You know I’m trouble, you know I’m no good, but here you are on my cock. Admit it baby..” he says, slapping your ass cheek real hard with his free hand. Bringing your naked chest to his own, the bottom half of his shirt brushes your lower stomach, making your body liter with goosebumps. He was practically fully clothed while you were stripped down for him.

“You hate me so much because I’m all you want.”

Pulling you back by the neck so there is distance between the both of you. His hand grips your ass, beginning to move you slowly up and down his cock. The fill of him has your mind on cloud nine. You want to wipe that smirk off his face but you know he’s right. Your heart tugs when he’s near.

“I’m all you need, you want me to survive. Think I’m going to run away with you? Hang this life up for you?” He says through grit teeth, ending his sentence with a slight laugh, mocking you. Not even sparing to sell you a dream because you’ve already sold yourself one. You should’ve known by now you can’t change a man, and he was not just any man. He was Park Seonghwa. You start working your hips to meet his thrusts, picking up speed as your walls get custom to his thick size in your cunt.

Squelching noises fill the warehouse, you both are breathing each other in. His eyes glimmer every time you slam your hips down on him. Tossing his head against the back of the chair, he grabs both of your ass cheeks slamming you down even harder into his length, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix with each slam. Tossing your hands on his shoulders to stabilize yourself while you bounce around like a doll for him. Letting one of your ass cheeks go, he grabs the bottle of liquor.

Pouring it on your naked chest, he sticks his warm tongue against your heated skin, trying to slurp up the liquor that’s coated on your flesh. His cool lips, mixed with his warm tongue, has you mewling. Gripping the sides to his chair, you bounce faster up and down on his cock. Leaning your head back, you are in heaven right now. Licking a stripe up your neck, he laughs into your neck. You can feel him pulsate in your soft walls. The coolness of his grill has your pussy clenching down hard on him. He’s so deep in you that you can practically taste him in your mouth. The pleasure bringing you a whole new feeling has your eyes filled with tears of pleasure.

“Talked all that shit earlier, look at you now, bouncing on my cock like you have no fucking sense.”

You let out a pathetic cry, tilting your head back you try to take in as much air as you can. Every stroke up it feels like he’s knocking your lungs loose, your body burns with the constant need of this man. Biting your lip you look down at him through your lashes, trying your best to keep your eyes on him, scrunching your face, attempting to toss him a smug glare.

“Go on baby..fu-fuck. Tell me how much you hate me, it makes my dick hard.” He grits out with a chuckle watching you bounce up and down on his cock. Your hips still at the tip of his cock, as he clutches your ass, pistoning into you. The wet sound of his cock hammering away at you, has your eyes rolling, you are on the brink of an orgasm.

“Oh my god.” You moan loudly, nails digging into his clothes shoulders. Diving his face into your chest, he sucks and nips your skin, leaving small marks behind on the plush of your breast. Your mouth falls open, jaw going slack. Taking the opportunity he places his pointer and middle finger in your mouth, tugging down your jaw with his fingers.

“You are a fucking dick head.” You mumble out with your mouth full of his fingers, drool begins to pour landing over your breast that are flying in his face. His eyes briefly roll back, letting out a groan he pulls you closer to his face by your bottom jaw, wiggling his fingers in your mouth.

“Awww I’m a dickhead, yet you are drooling all over this dickhead.” He says through a chuckle, one harsh particular thrust has you practically biting down on his fingers. Letting out a low breathy moan, he removes his fingers from your mouth crashing his lips against yours, his grill clinking against your teeth. His hands travel to your ass again bouncing you faster. Your toes curl on the sides of his thighs, his grip on you is bruising, the wet skin slapping against his upper thighs. Tears fill your eyes once more at your orgasm building up

“I told you I was trouble, you know that I’m no good but look at you, bouncing on my cock like a bitch in heat.” He moans against your lips, nipping at your bottom lip, running his tongue along it, the taste of him on your mouth was sending you over. Tears overflowing from the pressure build up.

“Go on, tell me how much you hate me.” He grits wrapping a hand on the back of your neck in a possessive manner.

“Because you do, right? Hate me so much you wanna cry on this cock every night.” Slapping your ass harshly, feeling his heated hand print stinging on your skin you let out a choked out moan.

“Go on, tell me, I wanna hear you say it again. It turns me on.” He moans out, hips continuing into you, tears stream down your face, landing on his heated skin.

“I-I ha-hate you.” You say breathlessly, gripping his shoulders tighter. Your orgasm is at its tipping point with the way his cock is brushing against your cervix. Slapping your ass hard once more.

“Louder!”

“I ha-hate y-.”

“I can’t hear you!”

“I fucking hate you Park Seonghwa!” You scream at your orgasm tips over, clutching your fists into his shirt, hips immediately stopping, you fall over into Seonghwa chest pressed tightly against his very own while his hips continue to slam into your sopping cunt, your juices rolling down, soaking his jeans. Tossing his head back, his grip on you is bruising.

“Fuck Seonghwa, please!” You whimper out, your body is overly sensitive after your intense orgasm, and his bruising pace is making you more delirious.

“Fuck! Yes, yes yes!” His yells echoing in the entire warehouse without a second thought. With one final slam into your cunt he’s cumming deep in you, hips jerking up every couple of seconds to make sure you take every drop of him. His hands jiggle the meat off your flesh, before lightly rubbing where his bruising grip was.

Your heavy breathes are all that fill the room, pushing off his chest slightly, you groan at the feeling of his cum trickling out of you and around his member.

“You are so fucking stupid. I swear you are.”

He looks at you with one eye open, while the other remains shut from his post orgasmic bliss. With a deep chuckle, he pushes his black hair out of his face. Grabbing your chin between his fingers, bringing you close to his face. You stare him directly in the eyes, before the shimmer from his grill catches your eye.

“If you want me again for round two that’s all you have to say.” He whispers against your lips.

“Oh please, I barely enjoyed myself.” You say shoving him back by the chest, carefully removing yourself from his lap. You can feel his cum start to run down your inner thighs. Cutting your eyes at him you tug on the sleeve of his fur coat. Barely moving an inch he laughs at your frazzled state, pulling up his pants he buttons them again, watching your naked body move around quickly to find your clothes and put them on.

Just as you are buttoning your own pants. You hear the warehouse door slam open, the orange fur from the coat immediately catching your eye. Hongjoong is back…

“Oh..did I interrupt?” Hongjoong says, clearly unamused at Seonghwas actions.

“Hongjoong! You’re back early!” Seonghwa says, voice full of cheer.

Buttoning your pants all the way up, turning around all they see is the back of your shirt and pants as you walk away, feet practically stomping with each step.

“Fuck you Park Seonghwa!” You scream out, echoing so Hongjoong can hear.

“Seonghwa..” Hongjoong says quietly scolding him.

“Oh don’t you worry Hongjoong, she’ll be back!” He yells loudly, making sure that you hear him. Turning around you flip him off before continuing to stomp out of the warehouse.

“She always comes back..” he whispers quietly to himself as he watches your fleeing figure.

DO NOT REPOST.

GIF made by @justaaveragereader

[yan-lorkai]

Yandere malleus with darling who wanted to stay with him but Crowley (being a dumb guy and wanting the reputation of nrc being a pure schoo)l sent darling back home against their will (yes this is me, and I'd stay with malleus.)

.⁠｡��*⁠♡ﾟ a/n: tbh honest mood. I was thinking this just the other day, if presented the chance to isekai myself into any game that I particularly like, would I want to come back? Like, no, if it was obey me, I'd stay without thinking twice, twst too, even if I would have to face the overblot and all. Now... if it were genshin? Hard pass, idk how to fight lmaooo. Anyway hope you enjoy this ♡♡♡♡

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ﾟ To love is to let go... right? No, absolutely not. To love is to consume, to touch the essence of another person until they don't know where they begin and you end. At least, in Malleus's conception it is like that. And he is so happy that his feelings are reciprocated, that, somehow, you understand him and love him, and want to be with him forever, just like the fairy tales Lilia told him.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ﾟ And yet, like a fairy tale, Malleus finds himself sweeping the world the moment news comes that Crowley - the good-for-nothing, phony headmaster, Crowley has sent you back to your world by force. He separated the two of you for foolish ideals. And now everything is falling apart, heavy rains sweep away trees, fierce winds are capable of throwing people kilometers away, but he doesn't realize it; the only thing in Malleus' heart at this moment is sadness and hatred, not even Lilia, Sebek and Silver can calm him now.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ﾟ When Malleus regains consciousness, there is a body and blood in his clutches. Only flashes of memories come to mind as he recovers from the screams and the idiotic excuses he heard. He hopes he feels some remorse, but he feels nothing. Only the absence of you. Malleus searches Crowley's office in order to find the research and documents of the portal that the deceased director used, and when he finds it, he recreates the portal, allowing Crowley's body to pass through to a place where no one can find him.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ﾟ Focusing all his attention on finding you, Malleus manages to stabilize the portal enough so that he can see your tear-stained face as you hide in your blankets. He wants to go through and comfort you, but he is afraid of the portal closing; even keeping it open for so long becomes a challenging task for him. Instead, he calls your name, over and over, until you look in his direction and see him there, his hand outstretched, his face serious, the portal open again... It all seems like a dream, but he convinces you that it is not, and that you need to cross to the other side soon. And you do.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ﾟ With you in his arms, Malleus feels at peace, kissing every corner of your face as if it were the first time, with extreme possessiveness, as if he were reclaiming a rare piece of his treasure. He wipes your tears and assures you that Crowley will not separate you two. The blood on his nails, his face and his clothes were cleaned with magic, there is no trace of the massacre that took place in that office and, as Malleus takes you home, back to Diasomnia, he finds himself extremely happy with the sun shining over his head.

[nicka-nell]

omg ur taking requests!

can you do some angst to fluff with Atsumu, Iwaizumi, Suna, Kuroo, Ushijima, and Sakusa (I’m sorry if they’re too many you can choose whoever you want to write about from these characters, I luv all of them soooo much)

Can you make it like really really Angsty in the start. Like the characters doing something they’ll regret a lot and then they spend a lot of efforts making up for it? Please make it fluffy in the end, I can’t handle sad endings 😭

Also please don’t include anything with infidelity or mentions of it. My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me last month and I’m having such a hard time.

Thank you for considering my request. And there’s no pressure to accept, I don’t mind at all.

Hi! yes I am taking requests right now. 😇 First of all, I'm so sorry that you had such a negative experience. But tbh, you're better off this way. Nobody needs such an ass cheating on them! 😔😤 My ex did that too, with my ex-best friend btw. I also had a hard time but quickly felt better because I realised that it's a waste of time to cry over such a dick. I hope you don't lose hope in a healthy relationship based on trust. There really are good people out there and I hope you find someone who can appreciate you. Sending you a lot of hugs and kisses. 🤗💚❤️‍🩹

And for your request. I've written three stories for Tsumu, Iwa and Suna. Unfortunately they got a bit tooo long for my taste, so I only made these 3. I hope that's okay. I really had problems making it super angsty (urg, I need more practice for angsty stuff 😵‍💫). As you wished, I didn't include anything with cheating (even though I had a few ideas haha.) and I also added a trigger warning before each story. I think Iwa's and Suna's in particular might be a bit darker... so you can decide on your own if you want to continue reading it or not. Anyway, I hope you still like it, and thanks for your request. Stay healthy! 🥰💚

Regretting their actions

Pairing: Atsumu x, Iwaizumi x, Suna x reader

Warning: angst to fluff, break-up (Atsumu, Suna), mention of abuse/anger issues, mention of blood (Iwaizumi), mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (Suna)

Part 1 | Part 2 (End)

tw: mention of break-up

You met Atsumu when he came to his brother’s onigiri store for the housewarming.

The two of you got along well quickly. And it wasn’t long before he kissed you at a party, looked at you with his cheeky grin and said, “Tastes better than a victory.”

More things happened that night. Not just simple kisses and when you woke up next to him in bed, he asked you, still sleepy: “You’re my girlfriend now, aren’t you?”

You’ve been together for several years now and were thinking about moving in together soon when Atsumu’s career suddenly took off. He was traveling abroad more often and had less time for you or looking for an apartment.

And then it happened…

You scroll through the apartment search app for something suitable for the two of you, lying on the bed while missing him terribly. You close the app to go to your messenger, only to realize that you were the one who last texted Atsumu... two days ago… Two blue check marks indicate that he has read your messages but has not replied. Your fingers hover over the keypad of your phone and you think about writing to him. Maybe he read your message during training and didn’t have time to reply. Maybe he just forgot about it afterwards... maybe...

“Hey Tsumu... I know you’re busy but, I hope you’re doing well. Love you.” you type into your phone and send the message with a strange feeling in your stomach. It doesn’t take long before you see under his name that he is online. The gray check marks next to your message turn blue, but instead of replying, you see that he went offline again. You swallow a big lump down your throat, your heart feels heavy. Maybe he can’t answer you right now... you try to convince yourself again.

Several hours pass as you sink your head into your pillow and try to stifle your tears. Atsumu’s sports t-shirt is in your arms, which he had given you before his trip abroad. Time passes and suddenly you hear the ringtone of your phone as a message arrives. Your heart hits loud against your chest as you reach for your phone and see your boyfriend’s name. But your joy quickly disappears, the lump in your throat gets bigger and you can’t breathe. 

>> Hey... listen, I think it’s better if we end the relationship… break up. I don’t know, but I just don’t have time for it. I’ll see you around. <<

It feels like a slap in the face. As if this is a poor joke. You want to write to him, ask him what this is all about, but your tears blur your vision. The only thing you send is a “really?” but the message is no longer read. It remains on one gray check mark.

Two days go by and you still think it was all a bad joke, but every time you read his message, you feel like throwing up. Has he really dumped the whole relationship? By a shitty text message? You open your Instagram account and enter his name almost as if on autopilot.

Another slap in the face as your tears run down your cheeks again. His bio no longer says “Best setter and proud boyfriend” but simply “Setter MSBY Black Jackal”. All the pictures he had with you on his account have been deleted. Instead, you can only see advertising photos or private photos of him. The last eight pictures are of him, Hinata and Bokuto dancing and having fun with fans in different bars. Atsumu grins at the camera as if he doesn’t care about you at all. As if your relationship meant nothing to him.

You text him some more times, leave him voicemails because he never answers your calls. But after a few days, you let it go. It only frustrates you even more to see how little this relationship actually meant to him. For days, you cry yourself to sleep, what doesn’t go unnoticed by Osamu. After all, he sees you three times a week when you help him out in his store. When you tell him what has happened, he is also speechless, because Atsumu has really pissed him off with all his raving about you. So why would he break-up with you out of the blue? Osamu can’t see you as devastated as a heap of misery. So he also tries to find out the reason for the break-up between you and his silly brother. But when he calls him, Atsumu only faces him coldly on the phone. “Did she tell you to ask me? Leave it okay? I think I just realized that I don’t want a relationship.”

Two months go by and somehow you still can’t believe that your relationship just fell apart. Osamu tries to distract you somehow, but it doesn’t help because he reminds you too much of your idiot ex-boyfriend.

Nevertheless, you are grateful to Osamu for swapping your shift with his coworker’s shift so that you can open the store with him in the morning. That way, you avoid running into Atsumu, who is more likely to be in the restaurant in the evening as soon as he returns from his stay abroad. You’re not ready to face him at the moment.

Just as you’re about to finish work, you remember that you wanted to show Osamu a video on your phone. “Look, the new trailer for the second season of this soccer series is out. Shall we watch the first episode together on Saturday after work?” you ask Osamu as he approaches you and looks over your shoulder. He rests his hand on the counter next to you, his chest almost touching your back, but he keeps his distance from you respectfully. You are both focused on the trailer, not hearing the doorbell from the store.

Atsumu is tired. The flight was delayed, and he hasn’t been able to sleep properly for weeks. How could he sleep well with all the partying and Hinata as his roommate, who spent the night in the hotel calling his friends from Karasuno. At least that’s what he tells himself… that this is the reason for his sleepless nights. But this thought vanishes when he steps into his brother’s store hungry, actually only wanting to eat a few onigiris and then go home. Into his apartment. His empty, dreary apartment. But as he walks through the door of the store, it feels as if someone has hit his chest with full force, knocking the air out of him.

He sees Osamu leaning towards you with a sense of familiarity. What’s going on there? And why does it bother him so much that you giggle and look at Osamu, who returns your gaze with a nod and a smile before turning to the door? His brother winces when he sees Atsumu. As you turn around as well, your smile disappears.

You look at Atsumu as if you’ve just seen a corpse, before packing your bag and saying goodbye to Osamu with a “See you tomorrow.”, only to walk past Atsumu with quick steps. You don’t even give him a glance, knowing that if you locked eyes with him, your tears would run. You would want to ask him questions upon questions. Why did you break up with me? Why am I not enough for you? Why did you lie to me for so long? Why...

As you walk through the door, you accidentally bump into him. This nudge, which was actually rather gentle, felt so painful. Why does it bother Atsumu to see you standing so close to his brother? Why does it hurt him that you stared at him with those empty eyes, as if he were a stranger? No. Worse, as if he were someone who had hurt you. Why does he have the feeling that he couldn’t make a sound if he opened his mouth now? The answer is simple, and even Atsumu seems to understand it by now as he looks from the now closed door over to Osamu, who stares at him with an indifferent expression crossing his arms in front of his chest. “So this is what someone who has realized that he doesn’t want a relationship looks like? Ya look like shit.”

Oh, how Atsumu would love to punch Osamu in the face. “Why are ya touchin’ my girl?” is bitter on his tongue, but he has no right to say it out loud. After all, he was the one who turned you down. The blonde Miya suddenly realizes how incredibly stupid his action was.

Back then, Atsumu had not expected to be traveling abroad so often. At first, it was only temporary stays. Nothing that would damage a relationship.

But the last few times in particular, he was sometimes away for several months. You kept telling him on the phone that everything was okay, but every time he called Osamu, he said that your eyes were sometimes red when you came to work and that you looked tired and sad.

Atsumu knew he was the reason. That you’d probably be better off without him. After all, you’re a great woman, someone who would find a new partner quickly.

You didn’t deserve to be sad all the time when he was gone. You should be happy. After all, a smile suits you so much better than a sad expression.

Atsumu would concentrate on his career. It would be difficult for him at first, but he would manage without you. He had to… for your sake.

So his mind was made up when he read your unanswered, concerned messages. If he texts you now to say that it’s over, being an ass to you, you’ll be able to forget him quickly… That was what he thought. 

But it wasn’t that easy. Your puzzled messages, your crying voice on his voicemail, broke his heart. Yet he tried to cover it all up with parties and his dear fans. He convinced himself that he was fine. Only to arrive home, see you and realize what an idiot he was, how much he missed you.

And now it’s Atsumu who reaches for his phone and texts you message after message.

Atsumu 8:02 PM: Hey babe, no.. hey Y/n. I know I have no right to text you. But please… let’s talk. I fucked up. Damn, I fucked up so hard that I don’t even know how to start… shit…

Atsumu 8:12 PM: Please… please answer your phone, babe…

Atsumu 8:44 PM: I know I’ve fucked up. I know I hurt and disappointed you. Fuck, I know I was an ass. Yk, I thought I was doing the right thing. 

Atsumu 9:34 PM: Fuck… please answer me… I still… damnit. 

That was the last message you received from Atsumu before you put your phone away and tried to forget him. Why is he doing this to you? Why is he stirring up your feelings again?

But Atsumu doesn’t think about stopping now. He runs to your house, to the apartment building and rings your doorbell. Once, twice, he rings so often that you can’t ignore it. You are about to tell him to leave through the loudspeaker system, but he interrupts you.

“Fuck baby, please open the door. I’m… I still love ya, okay? I always loved ya. I - shit, can ya even hear me? Fuck…” he curses agitatedly and presses the bell next to your nameplate again several times.

But instead of letting him in, you go down to the entrance of the apartment building and open the door with an expression on your face that Atsumu has never seen before. What is it? Anger, sadness, despair? Everything somehow.

“Say... are you kidding me? Do you think that’s funny?” you ask him, bewildered, still standing in the open doorway. Of course, you wouldn’t just believe him. Atsumu could have guessed. Your reaction was completely understandable. But he has to do something to show you that he’s serious.

“No, no, I don’t. I’m dead serious. Please let me explain,” he says, and starts to tell you that he thought a break-up would be best for you because he’s not good enough for you. Since you were obviously so sad about him leaving so often and he didn’t want to be the reason. He tells you that he thought he could get over you, but that he had to realize that you are the most important thing to him. Something… someone he doesn’t want to lose. With shaky hands and a still agitated voice, Atsumu takes out his phone.

“I wanted ya to hate me so that it would be easier for ya. But believe me, I... I couldn’t forget ya. Look, you’re still my wallpaper. All the photos of the two of us are still on my phone, all the memories-“ he is about to unlock his screen when his phone falls out of his hand and drops to the floor. Atsumu seems to be completely overwhelmed right now, as if he doesn’t know what to do. Should he bend down, pick up the phone, should he keep talking to you or hug you? He doesn’t know.

”Baby, please, please, I’ll do anything. Please gimme a chance. I’ll talk to my agent about not takin’ so many jobs abroad. I will be with ya more often. Always write to ya and call ya in the evening when I’m not at home. Let’s look for an apartment so we can move in together. Please, please, I would do anything. Please believe me that I love ya. Please..." he begs in a voice that becomes more and more brittle with every word. His eyes are full of emotion and his hands, which have unconsciously reached for yours, are trembling terribly.

“Two months... two months you ignored me, treated me like a piece of trash.” You say in a low voice as you search for eye contact. Atsumu has never felt so scared. Only now does he realize that the love of his life is standing in front of him, and that this might be the last time he’ll see her again, the last time he’ll touch her skin. But then again… Atsumu was an ass, so why should you forgive him? No, he can’t think like that. After all, you loved him. And if you love him as much as he loves you, then maybe there’s still hope.

“I know, and I know I can never make it up to ya. I know it’s not done with an ‘I’m sorry’. I’m the dumbest, most idiotic ex-boyfriend you’ve ever had. But... I’m stubborn too. And if that means chasin’ after ya for 10 years, drivin’ to yer apartment every day to ring the doorbell and tell ya I still love ya, wishin’ ya a good night every day, nice dreams and telling ya how important you are to me... I’ll do it. Every damn day, if it means there’s still a little hope for us.” He answers you hoarsely, keeping eye contact, hoping that you see how honest his words are.

You sigh, bend down, and pick up his phone before handing it to him. Atsumu doesn’t know what to do with all this. His face grimaces as if he’s expecting the worst. “Then... you shouldn’t lose your phone... if you want to write to me every day,” you answer him, a weak smile on your lips. Atsumu’s sorrowful expression suddenly changes and you see him looking at you with hope.

“Does that mean ya...” the blonde Miya can no longer contain his emotions as he leaps forward and pulls you into his arms. His embrace is so tight that you can barely breathe, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip out of his hands. Firm, but quivering. His whole body is shaking and you’re sure you’ve just felt something wet on your skin. Tears? Is Atsumu crying? “I promise to be a pain in yer ass every day. To text ya, to call ya, to be there for ya. Even in yer sleep. Okay? I love ya... I love ya so much...”

tw: abuse, anger issues, mention of blood

You’ve been with Iwaizumi since your school days. Back then, as a little flirt at school, Oikawa and Matsukawa mainly teased Iwaizumi for having a crush on you.

But in the end, many were jealous of the perfect couple who waltzed together on the dance floor at the prom with loving looks on their faces.

You were inseparable. Even Iwaizumi’s stay in America for his university didn’t affect your relationship. So it was no wonder that you got married after his return and were the perfect happy couple.

At least for the first few years.

The stress of being a coach for the Japanese national team is weighing on Iwaizumi’s mind. He normally handles stressful situations well, but he is under pressure.

If the team fails to perform in the next few games, he will lose many sponsors and possibly even his job.

Iwaizumi is constantly on edge and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him so you don’t provoke him.

More often, he has sudden temper tantrums, shouting at you about things that aren’t worth mentioning. “Damn it, I told you I need this one shirt for today. Why isn’t it clean?”

And once, when you stumbled with your words and asked him whether it might not be better to take a break as a coach, he was so angry that he almost hit you. But he managed to hold back and just sighed before going out for a beer in a nearby bar.

You don’t want to admit it to yourself, but right now, you’re really scared of your own husband.

Today was another training match between the Japanese national team and the Indonesian team. The team’s performance was better, but nowhere near good enough to shine. You watched the game on TV and run through your imaginary list in your head already, of potential trigger points for Iwaizumi. You don’t want him to get upset. The laundry is done; the house is clean; the food is also ready and in the fridge. Did you take out the trash? You chew nervously on your lower lip as you walk to the kitchen and let out a relieved sigh. That’s done too.

You are just closing the lid of the garbage can when you hear the key in the lock of your front door and Iwaizumi comes home with a surprisingly normal, “I’m home, my love, smells good in here”. Your shoulders relax immediately, a smile is back on your lips as you walk cheerfully into the hallway to greet Iwaizumi.

“Hello darling! How was your day?” Iwaizumi hugs you and leans down so you can kiss his cheek. “Let me eat something first. My day has been really exhausting,” he sighs, watching you nod and turn around to warm up the food for him. Your husband hangs up his jacket, puts down his bag and is about to turn around to follow you when he stumbles against a nearby vase that you had placed as a decoration for the fall changeover. The vase swings, loses its balance and falls to the floor in pieces.

“Shit!” You hear Iwaizumi curse and immediately run to him, anxiously hoping that nothing has happened to him. But luckily, he is unharmed. “Wait, I’ll clean up the broken pieces, you eat-“ you’re about to say, but Iwaizumi interrupts you loudly. “Always this stupid bullshit you put up. Shit, I could have hurt myself. If I miss now, that’s it for my career!” he shouts and stomps past you. You turn around hastily and apologize. “That wasn’t my intention, really,” you say, before realizing that it was a mistake to talk back. Iwaizumi turns around, his eyes ferocious and angry like a wild animal as he takes a step towards you. Your heart is beating restlessly and you are suddenly afraid.

“Not your intention? Admit it, you’d be happy if I got rid of the job!” he shouts, noticing how you start to tremble and shake your head. But Iwaizumi doesn’t seem to be in his right mind as he takes another step towards you. “Go clean up the mess! Make yourself useful!” he says through gritted teeth as he looks at your anxious and puzzled face. You know you should move, but your body doesn’t seem to listen, too scared to move a finger. And then it happens.

Iwaizumi grabs you by the hair and pulls you towards him. You cry out, weeping bitterly as you hear his voice again. “Are you deaf?! Get going!” he shouts, before pushing you away with more force than necessary. You lose your balance, stumble over your own feet as you fall and hit your head on the edge of the stairs in the hallway next to the broken vase. Your head hurts terribly, something warm flows down your face, sticking to your hair and making your vision suddenly completely different. It gets smaller and smaller before everything goes black in front of your eyes and the sounds around you stop completely.

Iwaizumi is abruptly perfectly sober and only now understands what has just happened. What he has just done to you, the woman he loves more than anything.

His eyes are big as he stares at his hands, which start to tremble in front of him.

Panic spreads through him as he looks at you. At your motionless body, at all the blood under your head.

He doesn’t know how he did it. His memories are hazy, but he can still remember trying to wake you up, in vain.

He had taken off his shirt, pressed it on your head injury to stop the bleeding and somehow managed to call an ambulance. Iwaizumi can’t remember anything else, just the one question from the paramedic who put you on the ambulance stretcher and took you to the hospital. Since Iwaizumi was your husband, he was allowed to drive with you.

“How did this happen?” the paramedic asked, as Iwaizumi answered quietly, “I don’t know... I really don’t know.”

It’s now been some hours after the accident and your head had been stitched up. Thank God it wasn’t as bad as it looked at first.

You’re still in the recovery room, Iwaizumi next to your bed on a chair, his hands folded in his lap as he hangs his head in bewilderment, looking at his wedding ring shining on his ring finger.

What happened? What has become of him? He still can’t believe what he has done.

He looks at his hands again, opens them, starts to tremble, clenches them into fists and realises how he lets out a frustrated sigh, which he had been holding back, as warm tears roll down his cheeks, soaking the fabric of his trousers.

In his mind, there’s only your shaking body, that frightened look, your screaming, and then this unbearable silence.

When you open your eyes, your head throbs a little and you have to squint through the bright, clinical light. “Where... where am I?” you say quietly, looking around the room and noticing that you’re lying in a hospital room. Next to your bed is none other than Iwaizumi. But he looks different. Broken… He shrinks at your words and looks up at you. You see his red eyes and how he hesitates whether it’s okay to take your hand in his. Iwaizumi gets up from his chair, wants to close the distance to your bed but his legs collapse and he falls to his knees when he suddenly starts to... cry? 

“Haji- me...” you say, still feeling exhausted. “I’m... god I...” Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to look you in the eye. He takes a deep breath, regains his courage before peering at you. Carefully, he grasps your hand, checking if you are afraid, but you don’t seem to pull it away. Maybe because you’re still too tired. Awkwardly, he strokes the back of your hand before resting his forehead on it and closing his eyes briefly.

“I’m a terrible husband. I’ve done everything I shouldn’t have done. Instead of carrying you on my hands, bringing a smile to your face and protecting you from everything that would harm you, I’ve done the exact opposite. Instead of being happy to see me, you’re just scared of me, aren’t you?” he says in a shaky voice and looks up at you again. You are calm. Just stare at him with a hurt look.

“I.... I can understand if you want a divorce. If you don’t want to be with a monster like me anymore. I really can’t even blame you. But... please let me tell you one thing. When I saw you lying on the floor like that, the world collapsed inside me. I was afraid of losing the most important thing in my life. And the most important thing is not my job, no, it’s you. And I’m ashamed that I’ve forgotten that. I am disgusted with myself and I know that is no excuse. What I have done is unforgivable. But please... if there is still a bit of hope, then I will try to do everything I can to be the man you fell in love with again. I want to be your Haji-bear again. Your place of peace, and your favorite person. I will go to anger issues therapy, behavioral therapy. If it’s better for our relationship, I’ll step down as a coach and see if I can find a job as a volleyball coach at a school. No matter what, I would do anything.” Your hand becomes wet as his tears land on it. His words move something inside you. You want to believe him, you don’t want the relationship to end either, but everything that has happened so far will not pass by without damage.

“I need time, Hajime... If you really mean it, please grant me the time...” you answer him and notice how your words seem to tear him apart. But at the same time he seems to want to make the best of the situation. He lets go of your hand and stands up just to sit back down on the chair next to your bed, looking at you determinedly, his eyes still red and swollen. “As much time as you need. If it means we still have a chance...”

A few months pass. Iwaizumi has passed on the house to you and moved into his parents’ house to give you the space you need. He goes to therapy three times a week and tells you about his progress. He is still coaching the national team, but his assistant coach is taking a lot of the work off his hands and the volleyball team seems to be playing better again.

Just like when you were at school, you’ll find a letter in your letterbox once a week. Back then, Iwaizumi always told you a bit about his week and wrote it down because, funnily enough, he was too shy to talk to you in person. Only that in his current letters he writes that he misses you, but hopes that you are doing well at the moment.

He meets you in public places, goes out with you, so that you gradually feel more comfortable with him again, that you can see his progress in therapy and don’t just think it’s empty words.

Six months have passed since the incident. You are standing in the bedroom, changing the sheets, when Iwaizumi comes through the front door of the house. “My love, I’m home,” you hear Iwaizumi’s calm voice. Coming home from his therapy session, he hangs up his jacket in the hallway as your voice lets him know where you are. 

Iwaizumi puts the flowers he bought for you on the kitchen table before he sneaks into the bedroom and sees you trying to unfold the sheets to put them on the blankets. With silent steps, he reaches around your waist to throw you onto the bed with him, wrapped in the covers that were in your hands earlier. Screaming, you laugh in unison with his chuckle as you look into each other’s eyes. “Hajime! Don’t scare me like that.” you laugh softly, while his hand gently tucks your hair behind your ear. Iwaizumi looks at your forehead, at the small scar that is left from your injury, before leaning forward and giving you a kiss on that spot.

“I’m sorry, but that was just so tempting,” he says, closing his eyes as he pulls you closer and just relaxes in bed with you. He strokes your back and kisses your forehead once more. “Hajime... what’s going on? Why are you so clingy suddenly?” you laugh, but Iwaizumi doesn’t join in the laughter, instead answering you seriously.

“Today, six months ago, I almost lost you. I’m just grateful that nothing happened to you. Thankful that you gave me another chance, even though I showed my worst side.” You can’t think of the right words to answer him, so you just smile, snuggle closer to him, and close your eyes. Safe in his arms, with his pulsating heart at your ear, you fall asleep.

tw: mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (without consent) 

Suna and you were just friends for a long time. Even if the others saw you more like a couple.

You were the only one Suna didn’t mind when you sat next to him and pulled out one of his earphones to listen to music with him.

You always had the same route to school and if one of you came to school alone, you knew immediately that the other one must be sick. 

With graduation, you mentioned that you might want to study abroad. That time, Suna had a weird feeling in his stomach for the first time. As if he was afraid of losing you.

That was the day he realised that he felt more for you than just friendship.

The same evening, he asked you to come over and watch a movie when he yawned in a very clichéd way to put his arm over your shoulder and pull you closer to him. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, but he just was.

A number of things went through his mind. What if you don’t feel the same way about him as he does about you? Will you still want to study abroad? Would you end your friendship with him if you didn’t feel the same way?

He tried to block out the questions and then, with his usual calmness, asked you if you could imagine anything more than a friendship. Luckily for him, you said yes.

From that moment on, everything was perfect. You had created your own little world over several years. You studied, and luckily not abroad. Suna was successful in volleyball, so you were both able to buy an apartment together quickly.

Just the two of you. Your friends were there from time to time, but in the evenings you were always alone at home, arm in arm, in the quiet flat without any noise or other people to disturb you.

Until one morning where you look at the little piece of plastic in the bathroom, stunned, when the two red stripes tell you that you are pregnant.

You hadn’t spoken to Suna about having children yet, but you’ve been together for so long now and everything is going well that you assume he would be just as happy as you are.

You thought…

When Suna comes home, you’ve already prepared a little surprise. There are a pair of baby shoes on the table in the living room, the pregnancy test in front of them and a little balloon with “Best Dad” written on it. You can’t help smiling as you see Suna walk into the room when you call out “surprise”, looking a little shy in his direction. But Suna’s reaction differed from what you expected.

Almost disgusted, he looks in your direction. “This better be one of those stupid TikTok pranks, right?” he says, and your smile disappears abruptly. Your stomach turns and you feel sick. And not because of the pregnancy. You stand there irritated, only able to utter a quiet “No... it’s not a joke”, confused by his negative reaction. “No? What week are you in? Tell me you can still have an abortion...” he says, annoyed, as he walks towards the table to see if there is any information about the week of pregnancy on the pregnancy test. 

“What?” you say in bewilderment, still looking at Suna, who throws the test on the table in frustration before starting to massage his temples. “We’ll go to the gynecologist tomorrow, okay? Get rid of it. A child means responsibility. You have to look after this thing all the time, you’re no longer flexible and it’s noisy too... I just don’t want that.” 

His words feel like a thousand stabs. Never have you seen Suna act like this before. You anticipated that he might be a bit taken by surprise and perhaps not be able to deal with the situation at first, but Suna seems to have a very clear opinion on the subject. He doesn’t even seem to be willing to talk. But abort a child? Let Suna’s and your baby die just like that? You can’t do that. You don’t want that. 

The two of argue. Suna’s look gets progressively angrier. Yours sadder until he decides to leave the house with a “Do what you want, maybe it’ll die anyway”. Now you’re home alone with his painful words. You stand rooted to the spot in the room for several more minutes until the strength in your legs finally gives way and you slump to the floor, crying bitterly. The night, you spend alone in your bed, without Suna. He doesn’t answer his phone and doesn’t reply to your messages. You don’t hear from him the next day either, and he hasn’t come home. Thank God you get a message from Osamu, who texts you that Suna is with him and that you have nothing to worry about. But how are you supposed to stay at home without worrying if your boyfriend doesn’t get in touch with you and you’ve been arguing for days? You are scared. Afraid for the baby, afraid for the relationship and everything you two have built up.

Another day passes. You lie in bed, tired and lacking in energy. Nevertheless, you pull yourself together and get up, go to the bathroom to get ready for the day and don’t notice when the front door opens and Suna walks in. “Baby doll, I’m at home... and... I’m sorry...” you hear Suna’s voice and walk out of the bathroom. Even though you had a fight, you are still happy to see the man you love so much again. With a somewhat sad smile, he stands there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand as he approaches you.

“I’m really sorry. I behaved like an ass. You took me by surprise with the news and somehow... I don’t know. What do you say you sit down now? I’ll make us a drink and we can talk about all this. About the baby, and what happens next?” You can hardly believe his words. What has Osamu done in the last few days to make Suna suddenly do a full turnaround and be willing to talk to you openly, without shouting about becoming a parent? You make a mental note to thank Osamu later, before nodding with a smile and sitting down on the sofa in the living room.

But what you don’t know is that Suna went to a friend, a doctor, who gave him two pills before he came home. Pills for an induction of abortion. You have to take one now and the other two to three days later.

Suna knows that you wouldn’t take these pills voluntarily.

So he makes sure that you are indeed sitting in the living room before he takes out a small bag containing a pill, puts it in the grinder and turns it into a fine powder before mixing it into your iced tea.

He takes a deep breath, putting his smile back on as he walks towards you in the living room, where you are already waiting for him with happy eyes.

Without saying much, he hands you the glass, sits down next to you and watches you.

“I know it’s all so sudden and I could have said it differently. I really took you completely by surprise with the news,” you say quietly, looking at the iced tea in your hand, unaware that an abortion pill is floating there.

Suna listens attentively as you talk about how you first had to understand what a pregnancy means, but that your overwhelm quickly turned into joy because you are looking forward to holding a mini version of the two of you in your arms in less than 9 months. You talk about all the beautiful things that are going through your head, while Suna continues to listen to you, his eyes constantly focus on the tea in your hands and you.

He keeps looking at you as you raise the glass and press it to your lips, ready to drink the poison cocktail, when he realizes what he was doing. What he’s trying to do here.

Panic strikes him. His green eyes widen as he literally knocks the cup out of your hand. It falls to the floor with a loud thud. “Don’t drink that!” he says in an unsteady voice and looks at you in horror.

But you don’t understand anything, only shake your head.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I... I think I just made the worst mistake of my life,” Suna says, looking back from you to the broken cup. You don’t understand what’s going on and tilt your head, asking him if everything is all right. But when Suna continues talking and tells you what was in your tea, your world collapses. You are shocked that your own boyfriend wanted to do this to you. “I was overwhelmed. I... I know that’s no excuse. But when I heard you talking, I realized that -“ Suna wanted to continue, but your voice cut him off, your words silenced him.

“Let’s break up,” you say, and unlike before, unlike when you argued a week ago, your voice is determined now, your eyes full of pain and betrayal. Those green eyes that used to mesmerize you are now looking at you desperately. “What?” Suna whispers softly, followed by a “No, wait”. But you interrupt him again.

“You just wanted to give me some drugs without my consent so I’d lose the baby?! No, Rintarou… I’m breaking up with you. That... no, I can’t do that.” Abruptly, you get up from the sofa, ignoring the hand that tries to grab you before quickly slipping into a jacket and a pair of shoes just to leave the apartment. Suna wants to run after you, but his legs won’t move. His mind and heart are screaming to run after you, to stop you and tell you he’s sorry, but his body just won’t obey him. When he finally manages to get up, you’re already gone.

Still wearing his slippers and without putting on a jacket, he eventually runs out to check out all the places you love, all your friends, to see if he can find you somewhere. But no matter where he looks, he can’t find you. You don’t reply to messages or phone calls. The mechanical voice of your voice mail greets him directly. “Shit, shit, shit!” he yells as he stands in the park where you two had your first official date. The surrounding people look at him. Some with an irritated look, some as if they were pitying him.

Without really knowing where to go, your legs automatically led you to the bus that goes to Kita’s home.

Kita was one of your best friends back then. And you knew that if you went to Kita and told him not to tell Suna that you were there, he wouldn’t tell his friend either. And that’s exactly what Kita did.

You were in Kita’s guest room when you heard Suna’s voice in the hallway.

He sounded shattered, broken, as he begged Kita to tell him where you were.

This went on for several weeks, until one evening Suna rang the doorbell again, trying to talk to Kita in a voice you had never heard before.

His voice was so thin, so fragile, as if a heap of misery was speaking out of him.

Kita tells him once again that he doesn’t know where you are when you hesitantly open the door, thinking about going downstairs and listening to what Suna has to say. But for now, you just listen to the conversation.

“Please, Shinsuke, I know you know her location. Please, just give her this. Please...” Kita sighs, followed by a soft “ok...” before the front door closes. Your best friend’s footsteps creak beneath the floor as he walks up the stairs, looks at you a little twisted and hands you a large package.

You know that you demand a lot from Kita. It’s not easy for him to lie to his friend either. Eventually you have to talk to Suna.

Alone in your guest room, you spend almost half an hour looking at the unopened package at the other end of the bed until you finally decide to open it. When you see what’s inside, surprise catches you. Multiple emotions flow through your body without you even noticing how your eyes suddenly turn glassy. Small letters and several items are in the box. You take out the letter that is on top of all the other items.

“My love, I don’t even know where to start. I can’t apologize for what I did. Nevertheless, I want to tell you that I’m sorry. I was confused and scared. Our relationship has always been perfect so far and I thought it was great that it was just the two of us and that no one else disturbed our privacy. I was afraid that when we had a child, we would argue, have no more time for each other, and grow apart. I was selfish and didn’t think about how you would feel. I wasn’t thinking about our baby. The thought that we were both going to be parents hadn’t crossed my mind at all. But every time I walked past those little shoes you had placed in the living room, I couldn’t think of anything else but seeing our child standing in them. How it tries to move around in it, sometimes falls down because it loses its balance and seeks shelter with its beloved mom. I regret every second of what I’ve done, every word I’ve said. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, and yet I did it. I am sorry. I am so terribly sorry.

I did some research. Did you know that it is currently very difficult to find midwives? You should probably start looking very early on. My team colleague gave me the number of the midwife he and his wife had at the birth of their two children. I also have three other numbers. You might want to give them a call. There are also birth preparation classes in our town. I have also put a brochure in the package for you. You don’t necessarily have to go there with your partner. With me… So... if you want, you could also go there with Kita, even if I would be happy if we both did it together. But I can understand if you don’t want to.

Are you eating enough? You should pay particular attention to your diet during pregnancy. A lot of women suffer from a vitamin deficiency during pregnancy. But you have probably already discussed this with your gynecologist. Anyway, I’ve written down a few recipes for you that are rich in vitamins. I admit that Osamu helped me a little with this. Oh, and on the back are some things you shouldn’t eat during pregnancy. Raw eggs and products containing them such as ice cream, mayonnaise and so on... you should not eat them, because the risk of salmonella infection is high. Peanuts can contain aflatoxins, which can also harm the fetus... but as I said, I’ve put together a list for you. In case you didn’t already know all this already. There are a few other things in the box. Maybe you’d like to take a look.

I hope you are doing well. I hope the baby is doing well too. Have you thought of a name yet? Do you know whether it will be a boy or a girl? I’m sure there’s already a little bump on your belly. I... would really like to be with you right now. Would love to hold you in my arms and stroke your tummy. I know I made a mistake that can never be fixed. But if you’re willing, if that’s what you want, I’d really like to be by your side again. And if not as your boyfriend, then as the father of our baby. I would like to do couples’ therapy with you so that we can find our way back to each other… So that you can trust me again. Because in all of this, I was the problem and never you. But only if you want it too, of course. I know it may be hard to believe, but I love you. So much that a life without you scares me. I am sorry…”

You’re crying bitterly by now as your tears blur the ink on the letter before you put it aside and look in the box. Next to a small onesie for babies, there is a note with the telephone numbers of midwives, a small book with recipes, the brochure he had mentioned and another box containing photos and memories. Pictures that Suna had always secretly taken of you at times when he thought you looked extra pretty. You always found the photos embarrassing, but for him they were beautiful to look at. Because they were moments when you were just being you, not smiling for the camera or doing anything else to disguise yourself.

There was also a necklace with shells on it in the box. You made it for Suna when you were on vacation in Croatia. It turned out incredibly ugly, yet Suna wore it proudly during the whole vacation. You’re touched that he still has this ugly necklace. Little notes that you wrote to each other at school are also in there. So many more memories from the past. Where had Suna hidden this little box in your apartment so that you never noticed it?

You hastily get up, open the door and run down to the hallway as Kita comes out of the living room and looks at you questioningly. “Is everything all right? Do you need to see a doctor?” He asks concerned, but you just shake your head, wanting nothing more than to see Suna, talk to him again. He asks you if you are absolutely sure, but your determined nod is enough for an answer. So he grabs his jacket and car keys, driving you straight to your ex boyfriend, to your apartment. He doesn’t want you to take the bus in your current state.

Suna is sitting in the living room. In front of him on the coffee table are various reports on pregnancy, parenting and more. His head is leaning on his hands as he takes a deep breath. Have you opened his package yet? He wonders, unable to think clearly, when he hears the key in the door lock and runs into the hallway as if stung by a tarantula. His eyes are wide as he looks at you, standing rooted to the spot in the doorway, not knowing how to react.

“Shinsuke... Drove me here...” you say. “I opened your package.” You continue, watching Suna swallow hard, still not moving an inch from the doorframe. “How are you, the baby?” he asks quietly, almost absent-mindedly, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him. “Good... can... can we talk?” you ask and watch him nod, having trouble sorting out his feelings. You take a step towards him, clearly seeing the dark circles, the red eyes, the slightly thinner face, as if he has lost weight. And on closer look, you can see his whole body trembling.

“Is everything you wrote in your letter true?” you ask him, trying to keep your voice as calm as possible, even though you’re at your wits’ end. “Yes, yes all of it. I’m sorry for everything... I want nothing more than to see you happy. To see our baby happy. And if you want another partner by your side to be happy, if you don’t want me in your life, then I will accept that.” Suna whispers, knowing that if he were to speak even a little louder, his voice would fail and he would cry. You take another step towards him. “What if I want you? Want to give it another try?” You have barely spoken your sentence before you hear a bitter shuffle from Suna, which he seems to have been suppressing the whole time. His shaky hands carefully reach for your face before he presses his forehead against yours and says softly, “I would wish for nothing more than that.”

Although you hesitate for a second, you finally put your hands around his back and stand with him in the doorway for a while. Neither of you says a word. Both of you let your tears run until Suna releases you at some point and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “You shouldn’t stand for so long. You’d better get some rest,” he says in a somewhat steady voice before helping you out of your jacket and leading you into the bedroom, where he pushes the sheets aside so you can lie down. 

“Rin, but I’m not tired at all...” you say, even though you are exhausted, but Suna lies down right next to you, pulling you close while his free hand moves to your stomach. “I know... But... let’s just lie here like this for a moment, regain our strength before we talk... Talk about everything, our future, how I can make it up to you, our little baby… Agree, baby doll?” He whispers tiredly. Yet you also notice how all the crying is slowly making you a little tired. “Agree, Rin.” you smile weakly, snuggling closer to him as you both fall asleep arm in arm, his hand protectively on your baby bump, your hand on his.

[cherryeclipses]

long lost ᯓ★ˎˊ˗

soldier boy x female reader

fluff, angst, reunited lovers, secret lover, lets pretend soldier boy is a good person, implied smut.

summary: butcher is hell bent on finding what killed soldier boy, he went on his own mission to find soldier boy's rumoured mistress for answers

word count: 2,028k

set in season 3, I haven't finished the boys & tbh I will get some things wrong and there's some stuff I straight up made up but its fanfiction so ignore it.

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗ ᯓ

A strong smell hit your nose as you were dragged down the stairs - the room smelt musty and damp, like you were in someone's basement. The cuffs on your wrists were starting to pinch now, you wished whoever had kidnapped you would hurry up and get to the point so you could get these things off.

"What the fuck Butcher?" you could hear a voice ask in shock as you were being jerked down into a chair before the blindfold was finally ripped off of your eyes. What the fuck kind of name is Butcher, you thought. "Fucking about time." You snarled at the tall man who had brought you here. "Who is this?" The same man who had spoken before asked your kidnapper. He was scrawny and genuinely appeared terrified. "She's someone who can help us find what killed Soldier Boy." Your kidnapper answered, his voice low and raspy. "Is that seriously what this is about?" You spoke up. "You could have just asked instead of dragging me all the way here...unless blindfolds and handcuffs is what gets you off." You look at the two men with one eyebrow raised. "Oh really? So you'd just tell me what poison is strong enough to kill Soldier Boy?" The man you now knew as 'Butcher' crossed his arms over his chest. "I would." You said teasingly. You had had your fair share of men like him and knew he wouldn't hurt you if you had information he wanted. Butcher rolled his eyes, "well go on then." "Cuffs off first." You demand. "Not a chance." "Well guess you'll have to kill me. I'm not telling you shit."

The scrawny man took Butcher aside, poor guy looked so confused, you wondered if he had been kidnapped too. "You can't just take people as hostage because they might know something about Soldier Boy!" "Not might. She definitely knows what happened. You really don't know who she is?" Butcher asked Hughie, keeping one eye on you. Hughie shook his head, allowing him to continue. "That is Y/N. She's a Supe but was never considered powerful enough for Vought. To be honest I don't even know what her powers are. She was rumoured to be Soldier Boy's girlfriend." "Hang on, I thought Soldier Boy was with Crimson Countess." Hughie interrupted. "No, no that was like his stage-wife. This girl was apparently the real deal."

"Hey boys I'm still here and my wrists are killing!" You shook your restrained hands for effect. "Are you sure? She looks way too young." Hughie questioned. Butcher only offered a shrug in reply, as he walked back over to you. "Now sweetheart, if I take these cuffs off, you'll tell me everything you know and continue to help us for as long as we need you. Understand?" Butcher knelt down so he was at your eye level. You breathed in, he smelt like cigarettes and scotch, disgusting. "Fine." You lied through your teeth. Butcher reached around and unlocked the handcuffs, freeing your wrists. "Thank you." Butcher pulled up his own chair across from you. "Now tell us, what you know about Soldier Boy."

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗

"He's not dead." You say nonchalantly. "You're lying." "You think there's anything out there strong enough to kill him?" It had always offended you that everyone dismissed Ben's death so quickly. He was invincible, the strongest Supe the world had ever seen and they all thought he was dead. "Then where is he?" Butcher was getting frustrated, he hadn't expected you to be so calm. "You think if I knew, he'd still be there?" You asked, starting to get frustrated yourself. Not a day went by where you didn't think about him, wishing you could bring him back. "For fuck's sake!" Butcher stood up, storming out of the room. You stretched out in your chair, looking around the room for the first time since arriving. "I'm sorry about him - about all of this." Hughie offered. "You could just leave, I'll take the blame, I swear." You laughed, he seemed sweet. Clueless, but sweet. "Thank you, but what does he want to get out of all this anyways?" Hughie looked around the room quickly before answering you "we want to take out Homelander."

And there it is. You hated the Homelander as much as the next sane person but you failed to see how anyone could even come close to hurting that racist, soldier boy wannabe.

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗

You had given up helping Billy and Hughie on finding Soldier Boy. You gave them all the information you had but it was limited - Ben always kept you at arms length away from his work. Not wanting you to get involved with Vought or his teammates.

You were laying in bed, attempting to sleep off a hangover when your phone buzzed on the bedside table. You tried ignoring it but whoever it was, was persistent. “What’s so important?” You grumbled into the phone. “Good mornin’ to you to sweetheart.” The familiar voice of Billy Butcher rang in your ears. You rolled your eyes, you had thought you were done with him. “What is it Butcher? I told you I can’t help you anymore.” “We found something you ought to see.” He said slyly. “Mhmm. Well it can wait until my brain stops pounding against my skull and -“ “We found him.” Butcher interrupted. You shot up in bed, heart racing “come again?” “You ‘eard me. Now you know where we are, so I’ll see you soon.”

The call dropped and so did your jaw. Was he lying? You had done nothing but help him on his suicide mission. But with that small seed of hope in your heart, you jumped out of bed and got ready as fast as you could. Gulping down painkillers and water and brushing out your hair before racing out of your apartment. Butcher was going to experience a slow, painful death if this was all just a plot to get you there.

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗

You finally arrived at Billy's, straightening your shirt and taking a deep breath in before banging loudly on the door. You knew Ben had been sold off by his team and deep in your heart you knew he had survived whatever torture they submitted him to but you never had any proof. You hadn't seen or heard anything of him since 1984.

You heard the scuffle of footsteps down the hallway when Hughie answered the door, ushering you in quickly. "Hey, that was fast." He said surprised. You only gave a small smile in return before following him round the corner. Your breath became caught in your chest as you saw him. Soldier Boy. Standing in front of you, looking like he hadn't aged a minute since you last saw him. His hair brushed neatly back, his old uniform fitting him like a glove, contouring his muscular frame. Those beautiful ocean blue eyes, making contact with yours made you weak.

"Y/N?" He asked in shock, taking a step toward you. Your legs were shaking, you didn't know what to say. Was he still the same man you had fallen in love with all those years ago? "H-how? Where have you been?" You managed to get out. Trying to not be too hopeful. "Russia. God you're still as beautiful as ever." "I know you were in Russia but how are you here? How are you still alive?" You question, brushing off his flirtation. "It's a long story. But c'mon you think those Russians could kill me? I would've thought you had more faith than that." "So you're still you? They didn't clone you or something? This isn't some kind of sick joke?" You look pleadingly between Billy and Ben. "No joke sweetheart. It's really your lover boy in the flesh. Original costume and all." Billy teased. Tears welled in your eyes as you embraced Ben in a hug. "I always believed you were still alive." You whispered to him. He pulled back for a moment, taking you in before kissing you passionately. You suddenly felt 25 again. Your hands found his hair and you pulled him closer, never wanting him to be away from you again.

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗

After briefly reconnecting with Ben you found your self sat at the table with him and Hughie. More specifically sat in Ben's lap, a glass of whiskey in your hand. "Ok I need to ask, how old are you?" Hughie questioned. You narrowed your eyes at him, "how old do I look?" "Not a day over 27, that's why I'm asking." You took the blunt from Ben's mouth, taking a moment to inhale before answering. "Hughie, google is free...but my cells regenerate 100 times faster than human cells, which means I heal almost instantly, it also stopped the aging process when I turned 30. It was a side effect of compound V. I didn't get any of the super powers my parents had hoped for." You returned the blunt to Ben's mouth but not before placing a gentle kiss to his lips first. You didn't care about your blatant public display of affection; you hadn't seen your man in over 30 years, you deserved it. "Holy shit. So you're like immortal or something?" Hughie asked, intrigued. You shrugged "I've made it this long, I guess only time will tell, unless someone tries to kill me." You reply honestly.

Butcher calls for Hughie from the next room, leaving you alone with Soldier Boy. "I've missed you so much." You whisper to Ben, turning around in his lap to face him. "No need to miss me anymore. I'm here and this time there's no way to get in our way." You rest your forehead against his, "I haven't had a chance to show you how much I've missed you yet." "Oh really?" He runs a hand through your hair. "Mhmm" You nod. "You should come see my apartment tonight, it's a lot nicer than the last place I had." He chuckled at that, remembering your last home; it was styled straight out of a 70s magazine. Brown patterned wallpaper with deep burgundy shag rugs and an orange couch that always faintly smelled of cigarettes. You had both made it a goal to have sex on every surface of that house. You kissed Ben's cheek lightly, bringing him back to reality. "Why wait until tonight?" He asked teasingly.

When Hughie and Butcher returned to the kitchen you and Ben were long gone.

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗

It was the middle of the night, Ben was fast asleep in your bed, but you couldn't sleep. The excitement of the day keeping you up - you were almost afraid if you went to sleep Ben would disappear again. You brushed a strand of hair back off of his face, he looked so peaceful as he slept. It reminded you of when you first met.

He was a soldier in World War 2, you were a nurse. It was a typical love story. He was your favourite patient. You were tasked with treating those soldiers who were undergoing the compound V trials. Watching over them and keeping an eye on any unusal side effects. "Is everything ok?" You had rushed to Ben's bed after he was heard crying out for help. "No, it's my heart I think." "What's wrong?" "It's breaking because you won't go out on a date with me." He said with a smile. "Benjamin! You have to stop that." your cheeks flushed pink "I have people in real pain." "This is real pain, only you can fix it." You rolled your eyes with a smile. "Goodnight Benjamin." After the war he came straight to you, kissing you out of pure joy and begging you again to go out with him.

"Stop staring, it's creepy." Ben mumbled, pulling you out of your memories. "Sorry, it's not everyday your boyfriend comes back from the dead." You tease, resting your head on his chest. "What were you thinking about?" "Us. In those early days. You remember before you became Soldier Boy." "Of course I remember. I could never forget you in that sexy nurses uniform." He kissed the top of your head.

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗

I hope this was okay! Im just a casual fan of the show so hopefully it wasn't too ooc.

[calqlate]

THE LOVE & DEEPSPACE MLS AND THEIR KDRAMA ML COUNTERPARTS

INCLUDES: rafayel + sylus + xavier + zayne

WARNING(S): might be ooc bc i don't really keep up with the lore so there might be some inconsistencies (oops) (pls be gentle) (it's 10pm here and my brain is running on adrenaline) + contains some canon lore drops ig

MASTERLIST

NOTE(S): i will never stop inserting my fandoms into kdramas bc i love seeing worlds collide. anw pls partake in this brainrot with me 🤩

— RAFAYEL

ryu sunjae from lovely runner - they are both absolute losers for their respective lovers. i can picture rafayel in that one scene where sunjae was blowing kisses towards sol's house. no matter how hard his beloved tries to cut him out from their life to save him, he will always find his way back into their life.

jeong guwon from my demon - similar to sunjae, guwon is also another loser for his wife. (tbh i can imagine rafayel as a down bad simp for his lover; cue thomas sighing and shaking his head.) i can picture rafayel in the scene whereby guwon and dohee were doing that tango while fighting off their enemies too?!?!

lee yeon from tale of the nine-tailed - continuing the loser boy train, we have yeon as the final dude to add in this group. (specifically yeon from s2, bc the way he wanted to go back to his timeline so badly to see jiah matches rafayel's "the only person i'll ever love is my lover" energy.) their backstories also match in the sense that yeon never stopped searching for jiah and rafayel never stopped waiting for his bride.

— SYLUS

myulmang from doom at your service - not me choosing myulmang bc they both made contracts to their beloveds [clown emoji]. but nonetheless they're similar in the sense that they won't think twice about eliminating someone who hurts their lover.

shin wooyeo from my roommate is a gumiho - again, another contract situation. wooyeo is a "classier" version of sylus imo, and one who uses less pet names. if sylus were the ml in this kdrama, he would defo keep an even more watchful eye on his beloved so that she doesn't go about losing his fox bead. (aur naur iw to write a gumiho au for sylus now...)

lee youngjoon from what's wrong with secretary kim? - similar to youngjoon, sylus will never let his lover leave. they want to leave his mansion? he will try 101 (legal) ways to make them stay. they will find snacks they like in their room more often. they will find new (and expensive) clothes in their wardrobe. heck, even an all-expenses-paid vacation! he wants to keep them close to him; he's afraid of them upping him to leave.

— XAVIER

goo yeonjun from a time called you - like yeonjun, xavier has literally went back in time to save his beloved. he wants to see then safe and sound, and as long as they're happy, he's happy. as long as they're alive and breathing, he's fine with not being by their side. just watching them live their life is enough for him.

haru from extraordinary you - totally not projecting my all-time fav kdrama on him (or am i?) but xavier and haru have similar mannerisms and personality traits. yk how in the first few episodes danoh was dragging haru around and this guy just remained silent and followed along until one day he just started speaking? yeah that's the same with this guy. the person he likes could yap all day and he would willingly sit and listen.

moon seoha from see you in my 19th life - similar to seoha, xavier loves once in his life and he will only ever love his little star. he would never get over their death and if he's the one responsible for their death, he would be all the more upset with himself. he would throw himself into work all day and refuse to love again, thinking he shouldn't be able to fall in love ever again since he took his beloved's one chance of staying alive and happy away.

— ZAYNE

moon suho from black knight - they're both so overprotective of the one they love. the way suho essentially told sharon that haera is the only woman he would ever love is something i can picture zayne doing. if someone is out there trying to harm his beloved, you'd best believe zayne would do his best to prevent that from happening, even if it means giving up his own life.

lee suhyeok from bora! deborah - when zayne loves, he loves hard. like suhyeok, he's clumsy at expressing his affections, choosing to keep everything to himself and wait until he's 100% certain it's the right time to say whatever he wants to say. and sometimes, that can lead to disastrous endings (see also: suhyeok getting dumped on the same day he went to buy an engagement ring for his girlfriend). both men are careful to a fault, all the more so with their beloved because they're scared of losing someone precious to them again.

yoo jihyuk from marry my husband - zayne, like jihyuk, would willingly stand aside and watch the one he loves fall in love with someone else. he would be supportive and wouldn't try to fight for their affection. his motto is "if they're happy, i'm happy" and he can live being an unmarried old man as long as he sees them happy.

© CALQLATE. all rights reserved. please do not copy, modify, repost, or translate my works on any platform.

[kathlare]

the weight of sorrow

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Amelie struggles with overwhelming grief following her grandmother’s funeral. Amidst the emotional weight of the ceremony, she finds brief comfort in the presence of Lando's family, particularly Lando himself.

Wordcount: 3.1 k

Warnings: none

full masterlist // request over here!

January 22nd, 2025 - London, United Kingdom

liked by ln4champion, f1gossippage, and others

norrisbabezz: Lando was just spotted at Heathrow like… MINUTES ago 😳✈️ boy really teleported from Switzerland to London huh???

View all 37,582 comments

lanmelieluvclub: don’t play with me rn 😭😭 is he going back to her?? → gridromantics: @lanmelieluvclub HE NEVER LEFT HER!! he’s been with her through everything 🥹💘 → f1heartbeat: @lanmelieluvclub he's 100% going straight to her. no one flies that fast unless they’re in love.

chaoticlanmelie: Lando said ✨GRIEF SUPPORT BOYFRIEND✨ → pitwallbabes: @chaoticclanmelie she deserves it. he’s doing what real men do 🫶

stopcoddlingher: he really left a global event for her? pls she’s so dramatic → amourdayman: @stopcoddlingher her GRANDMA died?? be serious rn → lanmiesince22: @stopcoddlingher girl log off if you don’t have empathy 🙄

norrisnation96: no one’s talking enough about how loyal he is. man’s in love and it SHOWS 🥹 → hermclover: @norrisnation96 the world doesn’t deserve him tbh → kissesfromqatar: @hermclover Amelie does ��� and he knows it

ameliehater445: tired of seeing her name everywhere. she’s just a singer.

mcloveclub: lando landing in london this fast screams “where is my girl” energy 😭 → drsmoothies: @mcloveclub he saw her sad airport pics and booked it IMMEDIATELY

formulaheartthrob: i don’t care what anyone says, this is THE couple of the paddock → melodiclanmie: @formulaheartthrob sorry but they eat up every other f1 relationship fr

ughhewasbetter: he should’ve stayed in switzerland and done his job 🙄 → goddessdayman: @ughhewasbetter girl shut up he's done more work than your fave all year 💅 → queenamelie44: @ughhewasbetter keep crying she’s still the one he’s flying to 💋

speedlimitzero: Lando doing the absolute most lately 🫶 boyfriend of the year → softtrackracer: @speedlimitzero this man is a simp and proud and i support him

-------------

Amelie felt the weight of exhaustion hanging over her like a thick fog. The funeral ceremony for her grandmother had been beautiful but draining, a mix of sadness, familiar faces, and pleasantries that felt more like obligations than comfort. Every person she greeted seemed to have the same thing to say, their condolences too soft, too quiet to fill the hollow ache she felt in her chest. She hadn’t been able to focus on any one conversation for long, her mind too clouded with grief.

She stepped out of the room, her legs aching, wanting nothing more than a moment to breathe without having to be strong, without having to force a smile. The hallway felt eerily quiet, the sounds of the ceremony muffled behind the heavy doors. Amelie leaned against the wall for a moment, taking in the cool air, trying to steady her breathing.

Amelie took a deep breath, trying to push the tears back that were threatening to spill. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, trying to gather her composure before returning to the ceremony. But just as she was about to push herself off the wall, the sound of voices reached her ears. Her head snapped up to see the familiar faces of Lando’s family entering the building.

Even if Lando wasn’t there, his family always made her feel more at home, like she was part of something that, despite the sadness surrounding her, brought her some peace.

The moment they saw her, their expressions softened, and it was as though they all collectively remembered the reason they were there. They quickly moved towards her, expressions full of sympathy and concern.

—Amelie,— Cisca said softly, her arms open for a hug. —I’m so sorry, beutiful. Your grandmother was such a beautiful woman.—

—Thank you, Cisca,— Amelie managed to say, hugging her tightly before stepping back, her breath shaking slightly.

Callum placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a reassuring smile. —We’ve all been thinking of you, Ames. She must have been a special person to raise someone like you.—

Amelie chuckled through the tightness in her chest, blinking away the tears. She had always liked how effortlessly kind Callum was. It made her feel safe around him, just like it did with the rest of Lando’s family. She appreciated the small moments of lightness, especially today.

—Thanks, Callum,— she murmured before motioning to the door behind her. —I’ll show you the room. It’s in there.—

As Amelie led them toward the room where the memorial ceremony was being held, she tried to steady her breath, forcing her mind to focus on the small tasks at hand. The momentary reprieve of seeing Lando’s family, their warm smiles and kind words, gave her just a hint of comfort. But the weight of her grief lingered, the pain of losing her grandmother still raw in the pit of her stomach. She felt like she was walking in a fog, detached from the world around her.

But as they entered the room, Amelie’s steps faltered, her eyes locking onto the figure standing near the back of the room. Lando. He was standing by the window, his posture relaxed but his eyes fixed on her, as if he had been waiting for this very moment to happen.

She froze for a second, blinking rapidly as if her mind was struggling to make sense of what was happening. How—?

But before she could process it fully, her legs moved without her consent. She rushed toward him, her heart pounding in her chest, each step an involuntary rush of emotion. When she reached him, it all came crashing down at once.

Her body collided with his, her arms wrapping around him desperately as her sobs broke free. It was like a dam had burst, the weight of the last few days, the exhaustion, the grief, all pouring out of her in a flood of tears.

Lando barely had time to react. One moment, he was standing there, scanning the room and trying to keep himself composed after a day of anxiety, and the next, Amelie was in his arms, her sobs shaking through him like a violent storm.

His arms instinctively wrapped around her, pulling her close, his hand cradling the back of her head as she buried her face against his chest. She felt so small in his arms, fragile, and he could sense the weight of everything she had been holding in for the past few days. His heart broke for her, for the girl he loved, the one who had always been so strong, so determined. Now, she was unraveling in front of him.

—It's okay, baby,— Lando whispered softly, his voice thick with emotion. —I’m here. I’m here, Ames.—

He gently rocked her back and forth, feeling the tremors of her crying against his chest. The room seemed to grow quieter, and he noticed people starting to glance over, their stares lingering on the two of them. It felt like everything was too much—his presence, her emotions, the attention from the room. Lando didn’t care about any of it. He only cared about Amelie.

Her sobs were muffled, but he could still hear her, each breath ragged, each sob raw with grief. Lando leaned down, pressing his cheek against the top of her head, his lips brushing her hair. He didn’t know what to say to make it better. There were no words that could undo what she was feeling. But he could be here. He could hold her, be the steady thing in the chaos of her emotions.

Lando's arms tightened around her, pulling her even closer as her cries became more desperate, more broken. He felt every sob, every tremble of her body against his, and it cut through him like a knife. He didn’t care who was watching, didn’t care about the quiet whispers or the glances of sympathy—they didn’t matter right now. All that mattered was Amelie, and she needed him, in this moment, more than anything.

He gently lifted her in his arms, his hands supporting her head as he murmured soft reassurances against her hair. —It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you. Always.— His voice was a mixture of tenderness and urgency, like he was trying to anchor her to him, to pull her back from the deep well of sorrow that was swallowing her whole.

Amelie’s body was still shaking in his arms, her face buried against his chest as her sobs slowed to quiet gasps. He could feel the weight of her grief pressing down on her, suffocating her, and he knew he needed to get her out of that room. She didn’t need to be surrounded by people right now—she needed air, space, and him.

—Let’s get you out of here for a bit, yeah?— Lando murmured, his voice calm but firm. —We’ll go somewhere quiet, just you and me. You need to breathe, baby.—

With a soft but insistent motion, Lando started to walk toward the door, his arms wrapped around her as she clung to him. He didn’t care if they were causing a scene or drawing attention—this wasn’t about appearances. This was about Amelie. And right now, he was her lifeline.

When they stepped outside into the cool evening air, Amelie’s sobs had quieted, but she still clung to him tightly, her face pressed against his chest. The cold air hit her like a shock, but it seemed to pull her out of the fog just enough to notice where they were. She didn’t say anything at first, just stayed nestled in his arms, breathing in shaky breaths as her tears slowly faded away.

Lando didn’t let go. He didn’t know how long they stood there in the silence, but he wasn’t going to rush her. His hand stroked the back of her head, his thumb moving in slow, soothing circles against her skin. When she finally lifted her head to look up at him, her eyes were red, swollen, and exhausted—but there was something in them that made Lando’s heart ache.

—Are you okay, baby?— he asked softly, his voice hoarse.

Amelie shook her head slightly, as if she couldn’t find the words, but then she whispered, —I don’t know how to do this without her, Lan.—

Lando’s heart broke a little more hearing that. He knew she had been close to her grandmother, closer than anyone, perhaps, and the weight of that loss was still too raw, too fresh. But he couldn’t let her fall apart. Not like this. Not without him there to hold her together, even if it was just for now.

He cupped her face gently with both hands, his thumbs brushing away the remnants of tears from her cheeks. —You don’t have to do it alone, Ames. Not now. Not ever. I’m right here, I promise you.—

Her eyes met his, and for a moment, it was just them—no one else around, no grief, no distractions. Just them. She nodded, her lips trembling slightly, and Lando took a deep breath.

—Come on, let’s get you something to eat. I know you haven’t eaten in days.—

She looked at him, a mixture of exhaustion and disbelief crossing her face. —I’m not hungry, Lan.—

Lando raised an eyebrow, his lips curling into a teasing smile despite the weight of the situation. —I know you’re not, but you’re gonna eat something, because if you don’t, I’m gonna drag you to a restaurant and force-feed you until you do.—

Amelie snorted through a sniffle, her lip twitching upward for a brief moment. —You’re so pushy.—

—You’re welcome, baby,— he grinned, tugging at her hand gently. —Now, let’s go. There’s a little store down the street. You can pick out whatever you want. Deal?—

She hesitated for a moment, but Lando didn’t let her pull away. Instead, he gently nudged her forward, leading her towards the store. Her steps were slow at first, but after a moment, she followed him, her hand slipping into his. The simple act of holding hands felt like the first step back into normalcy, and she clung to it.

When they arrived at the small store, Lando pulled open the door and gestured inside. —What do you want, baby? Something sweet? Something savory? Your choice. I’m not letting you leave without eating.—

Amelie glanced up at him, a small, hesitant smile playing at the corner of her lips. She didn’t argue with him, because she knew he wouldn’t back down, and honestly, the thought of eating something—anything—didn’t sound so bad when he was this insistent.

She picked out a sandwich, some fruit, and a bottle of water, and as they made their way to the counter, Lando slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

—You don’t have to talk about it, Ames. Not unless you want to. But I need you to eat something, okay?— he said softly, his voice low and steady.

She nodded, taking the sandwich from his hand when they sat down at a small bench outside. Slowly, hesitantly, she took a bite, and Lando’s eyes softened as he watched her. He knew it wasn’t easy for her, but it was progress. It was something.

—That’s it, babe. You’re doing great,— he murmured, reaching over to gently brush a stray lock of hair from her face.

Amelie looked at him, the faintest smile tugging at her lips. —You’re really stubborn, you know that?—

—Guilty as charged,— Lando said, grinning. —But I’m not giving up on you, not ever. And I’m gonna make sure you take care of yourself, even if I have to nag you the whole time.—

She laughed quietly, her shoulders relaxing as she finished the sandwich. It wasn’t much, but it was a start, and Lando was determined to make sure she was okay.

—Thank you for being here, Lan,— Amelie said softly, her voice cracking slightly as she finished her meal.

—Always, baby. Always,— Lando replied, his hand gently squeezing hers.

Amelie smiled through her lingering sadness, her hand slipping into his once again. As they made their way back toward the ceremony, she knew it wouldn’t be easy. The pain of loss would linger, and she would have moments where it felt like everything was too much to bear. But for the first time in days, she felt like she wasn’t walking through it alone.

Lando was there, every step of the way, and that was enough for now.

-------------

liked by chaoticlanmelie, gridromantics, and others

lanmelieupdates: Lando and Amelie were spotted walking around London earlier today 🫣 she was holding his hand but looked a little down… hope she’s okay 🥺 he seemed super attentive though, like always. sending them love 💘

View all 81,281 comments

daymangirl1997: she looks so sad 😭 I hope she’s doing okay → lanmeliesource: @daymangirl1997 same… you can tell Lando’s being extra sweet with her tho 🥹 → racerheartbae: @daymangirl1997 he’s def that “let me carry your sadness too” kind of boyfriend 😭🫶

pitlaneprincessa: ugh i hate seeing her like this 😔 sending her a million hugs → gridwifeclub: @pitlaneprincessa the way he’s never left her side though 🥺 he’s really showing up → mermaidformclaren: @pitlaneprincessa if this man isn’t husband material idk who is

fan44hatefree: people need to stop making dumb breakup rumors now 😐 clearly they’re together → lanmieloversunite: @fan44hatefree y’all just want drama when all they’re doing is loving quietly

mclarenh8ter: maybe she’s finally realizing he’s out of her league → goldentrophywife: @mclarenh8ter and yet he’s the one chasing after her all the time, stay mad 💋

f1fangirlxoxo: she’s grieving, give her a break 😭 this is literally so normal → daymansangel: @f1fangirlxoxo her grandma just passed. you’d be crying too.

stopbeingblindpls: y’all romanticize everything 😒 they probs fought and she’s over it → lanmieworld: @stopbeingblindpls nah, she’s grieving — read the room → whosaskedlol: @stopbeingblindpls people like you are why celebs don’t wanna go outside anymore 🙄

lanmeliesightings94: I’m gonna cry if we get no pics but I also want them to have peace 😭

landogirly04: I’ll never understand the hate she gets. she’s talented, private, kind, and clearly adored by her man

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After the funeral, the sun had long since dipped beneath the horizon, and the world outside was hushed, wrapped in the kind of quiet only grief could summon. Amelie and Lando returned to her family home, a place now filled with shadows of memory. Her grandmother's absence was heavy in every corner, in every room that once held her warmth.

The house was still. Most guests had already left, and the few remaining relatives had gone off to their own rooms, leaving Amelie and Lando in a bubble of stillness. Neither of them spoke much. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable—it was mutual, necessary. Words felt too small, too clumsy for the magnitude of what the day had held.

In her childhood bedroom, dimly lit by the soft golden glow of a bedside lamp, Amelie slipped into a pair of old pajamas. They smelled faintly of lavender and home. Lando was already pulling back the covers of the bed, waiting for her, quietly offering space but never straying far.

As she climbed into bed beside him, she let out a long, shaky breath and laid her head on the pillow. The silence settled again, but this time it wasn’t as suffocating. It was peaceful. Almost.

She turned slightly toward him, her voice barely above a whisper. —Thank you for being here.—

Lando turned his head to look at her, his expression soft. —You don’t even have to thank me, baby,— he murmured. —There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.—

He leaned in and kissed her—just once, slow and full of a kind of gentleness that words could never replicate. Then he pulled her close, his arm wrapped around her waist, holding her like he was afraid she might break.

The quiet stretched on. Eventually, Lando felt himself start to drift, lulled by the warmth of the room, the weight of the day, the soft rise and fall of her breath.

But then—he heard it.

A muffled, choked little sound, barely audible, but unmistakable.

Snobs.

He blinked his eyes open slowly, his heart instantly clenching when he realized she was crying. Silent, quiet sobs that shook her body just enough for him to feel them.

Lando didn’t hesitate. He shifted, gently turning her so her back was no longer facing him. His arms wrapped around her tighter, pulling her into his chest, tucking her head beneath his chin. She didn’t resist—if anything, she melted into him, her fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt as her body trembled.

He kissed the top of her head, one hand stroking her back in long, soothing motions, the other cradling the back of her neck.

—I’ve got you, baby,— he whispered, voice thick, barely holding himself together. —Let it out. I’m right here.—

Her sobs came harder now, no longer restrained. It wasn’t just grief—it was exhaustion, heartbreak, the cruel emptiness that came with saying goodbye. She wept into his chest like it was the only place she could be safe enough to fall apart.

And Lando just held her.

No advice. No promises. Just presence. Just love.

He didn’t sleep, not for a long time. He stayed awake, his hand never still, listening to the sound of her crying until it slowly faded, until her breathing evened out, her body slackening against his as sleep finally took her.

But even then, Lando didn’t let go.

[springgirlshowers]

You’re A Dream, A Burning Star

Summary: A small musician at a venue in Berlin catches Joosts eye, after speaking to her, neither would never expect the next few months to be so intense.

Pairing: Joost Klein x Fem!Reader

WC: 8016

CW: drinking, shitty boyfriends, kissing, yelling, arguing, actually proofread for once, tbh this whole fic is a rollercoaster of emotions…strap in

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON WHO REQUESTED THIS!!! this has probably been the most fun one to write n my longest fic yet, hope it breaks your heart and mends it all at the same time <3 *songfic heavily inspired by this evil ass song*

Sometimes while traveling, Joost would like to go out to smaller venues and watch other live shows of performers he’s never heard of.

The one he was going to tonight, he had already had a show booked there tomorrow night.

He just wanted to get an idea of what it would be like inside, sure he saw the photos of it, but he always preferred seeing things in real life.

The line up tonight was two opening acts, then the main one at a small venue and bar.

The first opening act was your name. He thought it was pretty. As he stood to the side, beer in hand. He watched you enter the stage, obviously nervous.

A pretty face to match a pretty name.

You talked kindly yet a bit frightened into the microphone. You were a bundle of nerves, apologizing for your awkward and nervous behavior, and explained that you were still getting used to these crowds.

He thought it was cute in a way, it reminded of himself when he was just starting out as well.

You talked to the crowd in between your songs. Asking how everyone was feeling and how their night was going, earning cheers from the crowd.

Joost watched as your eyes darted around the crowd as you sang, not in a way of you were trying to let everyone have your attention, but in a way of you were searching for someone.

Eventually your eyes gave up looking and you closed them instead, staring at the crowd for too long would make you even more nervous.

Joost felt like you casted a spell on him the way he couldn’t take his eyes off you. The way your lips moved as you sang sweetly into the mic, the way your hands moved so smoothly across the strings on your guitar, the way you swayed back and forth, how your eyes glistened in the light.

You had him in a trance.

After your short set was done, you exited the stage in such a polite manner. Thanking the crowd repeatedly before grabbing your guitar and case in an organized manner.

Joost would spend the next twenty minutes trying to find you. He knew it seemed a little weird to see you on stage and spend the rest of the night looking for you, like some obsessed fan.

But something in him was aching for him to talk to you.

When he found you, you were leaning against a back wall, watching the end of the second opening act.

Joost came up to you and suddenly he felt as nervous as you looked on stage.

You squinted your eyes at the blonde man for a split second. You had seen him from somewhere.

“I just wanted to say you did amazing on stage. It’s like you casted a spell on the crowd.” The validation made you smile.

“I’m not sure if they were really there for me, I was just the opening act.” You gave him a small shrug in response, too nervous to keep eye contact for long.

“A good amount of people seemed interested. Me included.” He nodded reassuringly.

“That’s very sweet of you to say, but I need to work on my stage presence, I’m moderately good at it.” You let out a nervous laugh.

“I wouldn’t say that.” He said blankly.

“What would you say then?” You questioned, tapping your fingers on your glass.

“I’d say you're exceptional.” A grin slowly took up your face, making your eyes shut and cheeks blush, you looked away.

“That’s a bit of overstatement. I messed up on my third song.” You shrugged, looking down at the cup in your hands. You’ve never gotten so many compliments in a single minute, in your mind you had to double down and keep yourself humbled.

“I didn’t even notice. I thought you sounded perfect.” He said blankly, unbothered.

“That’s very sweet of you…uh, you haven’t told me your name yet.”

“I’m Joost.” He looked puzzled as your jaw dropped, eyes lighting up.

“Now I know where I recognized you from! I’ve heard of you!” You pointed at him.

“You have?” Joost looked at you with wide eyes.

“Yeah, I heard your little song that you did with that guy with the goggles.” You giggled and made a gesture to your eyes.

You were so nice. Joost was praying that was the only song you heard by him and not any of his other popular ones with…suggestive lyrics.

“Yeah, it’s getting pretty popular isn’t it?” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. God, you were so sweet. He didn’t want to mess this up.

You looked at your phone again, seeing if there were any new notifications for a text from your boyfriend. There was nothing. You let out a dissatisfied breath and turned it off.

“Are you alright? Are you waiting for someone?” Joost asked as you shoved your phone into your pocket.

“Uh, yeah. My boyfriend said he would show up tonight but I haven’t seen him. I’m wondering if he even bothered to show up at all.” You muttered your last sentence out, still looking around to see if he was there.

Joosts heart fell to his stomach. Of course a pretty girl like you would have a boyfriend. You were talented, kind, and gorgeous. Who wouldn’t fall in love with you?

He stayed silent, giving you a sympathetic frown.

“Anyways, is that why you’re here in Berlin? Your song?” You pipped, changing the subject in hopes to get rid of the knot in your stomach.

“How do you know I’m not from Berlin?” He teased, narrowing his eyes.

“You have a different accent. You pronounce words differently. Plus, we’re talking in Dutch. I’m guessing either you’re from Belgium or the Netherlands.” You shrugged.

“Netherlands.” He nodded, your eyes lit up.

“I knew it! I’ll be there in a few months actually!” You exclaimed happily.

“Really? For tour?”

“Oh not for that. It’ll be over by then.” You waved your hand. “A label in Amsterdam reached out to me and I think I’m gonna take the offer.”

“That’s amazing!” He exclaimed, his face filling up with joy, then he cleared his throat. “Is your boyfriend moving with you?”

Your happy expression faltered, looking down at your drink nervously.

“Um, well he doesn’t think he can. With work and all, but we’re just gonna do long distance.” You pipped, though you tried your best to put on a mask of happiness, the hesitation in your voice was obvious.

Before Joost could get a word out, a male voice was calling your name from the crowd.

A slender man appeared, black hair and tall but shorter than Joost. He ran over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

Speak of the devil Joost thought to himself, assuming this was your boyfriend with the way you looked at him.

“Hi sweetheart, I’m so sorry I got caught up with…stuff.” He attempted to give you a kiss on the lips, you accidentally moved your head in time for it to land on your cheek. “When do you go on?” He nodded to the stage.

“My set ended twenty minutes ago, Leon.” You said softly, the hurt and gloom prominent in your voice with your pouty face.

“Really? I thought you didn’t go on til later?” He said surprised, Joost could see through his act.

“I texted you the time I would be going on.” You trailed off, rubbing your arm for comfort.

“Are you sure? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you stranded.”

“It’s fine.” You said sadly, “I’ve already made a friend, this is Joost!” You gestured to Joost. Leon quickly took a protective stance, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close to him.

He was oblivious to the way you tensed up, Joost wasn’t however.

“Hi.” Joost gave a tight lipped smile, feeling the tension in the air.

“Joost makes music as well! He’s been doing it longer than me though.” You pipped, trying to continue on the conversation, slightly leaning away from Leon’s touch.

“Yeah, that’s great. I’m gonna go get a drink, do you wanna come with me?” Leon looked down at you.

“Oh, I’m fine right here. I already have one anyway.” You said happily, unbothered. Leon let out an annoyed breath.

“Why don’t you just come with me.” He spoke, more of a demand than a suggestion. You repeated your first previous sentence and shook your head. Leon removed his arm from around you, grabbing onto your upper arm with his hand, attempting to pull you with him.

“Come on, lets go.” He sounded like an angry father.

“I said I didn’t want to! I’m fine right here, Leon.” You shouted, wriggling your arm out of his grasp.

“Fine, whatever.” He muttered something else as he walked away. You rubbed your upper arm, ignoring the red fingerprints from how rough he was.

“He seems like a jerk.” The words were leaving Joosts mouth before he could realize. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be judging your relationship.” He blinked repeatedly and shook his head, as if he was trying to shake away what he said.

“No, it’s fine. He’s just a bit stubborn and short-tempered sometimes.” You sighed. “So what brought you to this place?” You changed the subject again, wanting to move on.

“Oh, um, I'm performing here tomorrow night, so I’m just getting an idea of what it’s like here tonight.” He shrugged.

“That’s so cool! Maybe I’ll show up and see you.” You suggested, Joost felt anxiety fill him up. His music was the complete opposite to yours.

“Oh no, you don’t have to, I don’t think you’d like mine. It doesn’t seem your style.”

“How do you know? I like trying new things.” You narrowed your eyes at him, playful look on your face.

“Fine. You know what, I’ll get you a backstage pass too so you’re not stuck with the sweaty crowd.”

“I’d like that a lot.” You laughed, the butterflies in Joosts stomach started fluttering again.

Noticing that Leon was taking a bit long to simply order a drink, you craned your head towards the bar, he wasn’t there. You pulled out your phone to text him.

Where’d you go??

Went back to my place. I got to work early tomorrow.

“What happened?” Joost asked, looking at the frown that appeared on your face.

“My boyfriend left. He was supposed to be my ride home.” You scoffed and shook your head in disbelief. “I’ll just take an uber or something, that’s how I got here.” You sighed.

“I could drive you.” Joost blurted out. “I’m not drunk at all, I promise. I’ll walk in a straight line if you need me to.” You chuckled at his offer.

“I’d really appreciate that. I’ll give you some money for the gas you waste on me.” You half jokingly said, already reaching for your wallet. Joost waved a dismissive hand.

“No, no. You don’t have to. You won’t be wasting anything. You can pay me back by showing up tomorrow.” He cut off your protests.

“Deal.” You smiled.

Joost made you let him hold your guitar case as you left the bar, he put it in the backseat of his car. He opened the door on the passengers side for you, which was much more than Leon ever did for you.

The drive to your house was awkward, a bit silent, the only noise being the robotic voice telling the directions to your place on the GPS.

When you reached the parking lot, before opening the door you stopped and turned towards Joost.

“Do you want my number?” Joost nearly choked on his spit at your question.

“W-what?” He sputtered out.

“Do you want my phone number? So you can text me when you’re going on.” You suggested, “Plus, I’d like to be friends too.” You nervously mumbled.

“Are we not already?”

“I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page.” You shrugged playfully. He grinned and grabbed his phone, opening messages and letting you type your number in, sending a text so you got the notification on your phone.

“Alright, sweet!” You said happily, stepping out the car, then leaning down a bit to look at him in the driver's seat.

“Thank you, a lot. For being so nice to me tonight.” You said, eyes looking around nervously.

“Yeah, yeah of course. You deserve it.” He praised, your cheeks went red and you looked down. He was giving you all the validation no one really ever did. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow, Joost.” You smiled and closed the door, waving at him as you walked to your apartment. Joost waited until he saw you enter your place and knew you were safe inside.

He couldn’t wait for tomorrow night.

You were definitely surprised by Joosts music style. You’d only heard one song of his in the past so you didn’t really know what the rest of his would be like.

It was strange seeing him out there, drinking beer on stage and moving around and singing like a madman as you watched from the side. Was this the same sweet guy you were talking to last night?

You didn’t mind however. His songs were catchy and you liked how he didn’t care about how crazy his stage presence was.

It was funny how you both caught your audience's eyes in different ways.

Joosts music was very hyper, fast, danceable. A microphone and a good DJ was what he used. It got the crowd jumping and chanting with him as he ran around on stage.

While yours was the complete opposite. Your music was a bit smoother, softer, flowy. You had your guitar and a sweet voice. The crowd swayed and mouthed along while you sang and stood on stage.

Joost exited the stage after lots of applause and repeated thank yous.

You felt a bit jealous of Joost, he had a bigger and definitely more interacting crowd than yours. You were grateful for what you got, but there was a small wanting inside you for one like his. Interested and excited. You knew it probably took a while for him to get here, as it does with all artists.

Hopefully one day you’d get a crowd as loud as his.

He ran right up to you, covered in a layer of sweat and chest heaving.

“What’d you think?” He asked, still catching his breath.

“I liked it, I think.” You both laughed. “It’s very…loud. Very crazy. But that’s a good thing, you know how to keep everyone entertained.” You complimented him, it was his turn to blush.

“Crazy. I like that.” He nodded proudly.

You walked over together to an empty spot behind the stage. A fold up table, a cooler of beer and different canned drinks sitting next to you.

“Do you want a beer?” Joost offered, you shook your head, telling him you already had a few.

“Well I’m gonna have more.” He laughed and pulled one out the cooler.

“Did it take you a while to get this big? Like with your career?” You spoke out, he looked at you confused.

“Well, kinda. I already had a small social media following before I started making music. So that helped.” He shrugged, taking a sip. “Why do you ask? Are you worried about yours?” It was like he could read your mind.

“Yeah, a bit.” You looked down at your feet. “I’m just scared I’m never gonna get where I want to be. Like I won’t be good enough for this stuff.” You frowned, Joost did too. He set his beer down on the table behind you.

“Hey, don’t say that.” He spoke softly, he brought his hand up to your chin, lifting it with a hooked finger for you to look at him. You breath hitched at the sudden gentle contact.

“You’re good enough. More than good enough. Exceptional. Remember?” You rolled your eyes at his words, he moved his hands to cup your face. “I’m serious! You’ve got an amazing voice. You’re gorgeous, talented, and kind. That’s the type of musician that this world needs.” His words made you smile and blush uncontrollably.

You muttered a small agreement and looked at each other. His eyes were so beautiful, though they were hidden behind his glasses, you could see the gorgeous shade of pale blue they were. It felt hypnotic.

Before you knew it, he was pulling your face to his, kissing you. You were caught off guard, still for a minute. Then you relaxed.

For a moment you pushed back into the kiss. Finding comfort in his lips against yours and his hands holding your face, you rubbed your hands up his chest as you kissed him back. Mouths parting and eloping each other's lips so passionately.

This was wrong. As you draped your arms around his neck Joost knew it was wrong. You had a boyfriend and he kissed you anyways. He couldn’t help it. You were so soft against him. You kissed back. It was pleasurable for the both of you, but it wasn’t right.

Then realization set in of what you were doing, you quickly pulled away.

You looked at each other, both a bit shocked and breathless.

“Oh…Joost. You’re very sweet but I already have someone. You know that.” You admitted as you let out a nervous breathy laugh.

“Sorry. I’m sorry. I got a bit ahead of myself.” He quickly apologized.

“It’s okay. We’re both just drunk and being silly.” You giggled and shook your head.

Joost felt the opposite. He didn’t feel drunk at all, he didn't feel silly. He wanted to do that. Maybe it was a little impulsive, but he wanted to kiss you.

“Yeah, my adrenaline got too high. It was just a..” He let out an embarrassed laugh now too. Looking away and running hand through his already messy hair.

“Heat of the moment type of thing?” Your words were meant to sound like a statement, it ended up sounding like more of a question.

You were both lying. Neither of you were drunk. You both enjoyed it. You both wanted to do it. You both meant to do it. Just guilt and embarrassment got in the way.

“God, I'm sorry. W-we can just act like this never happened.” Joost told you, rubbing a hand down his face.

“Yeah, yeah, we can…” You trailed off, you still hadn’t moved your arms. He caught the way you were still gazing at him, eyes flickering to his lips once again.

You cleared your throat and removed your arms from him, crossing them awkwardly.

“Uh, do you need another ride home tonight?”

“Leon’s picking me up, he should be here soon actually.” You shook your head, the guilt starting to become obvious on your face. “I think I’ll just wait outside for him.” You quietly moved past him, looking at the floor.

“I can wait outside with you, for your safety.” He gulped. You turned to him, the corners of your lips slightly curling.

“Are you trying to be my guard dog now?” You joked.

“You could say that, plus I need my after-show smoke.” He shrugged, you scoffed and rolled your eyes playfully. Then waving a hand for him to come along.

As the night got darker the weather got colder, you stood outside the front entrance of the bar as you waited next to Joost. You took in a shaky breath as another cool gust of wind hit. Crossing your arms over each other, feeling the goosebumps.

“Are you cold?” Joost noticed, tilting his head.

“Just a bit.” You tried your best to act unbothered by the wind and what happened a few minutes ago. Joost took off his zip up jacket without a word, holding it out to you.

“No, no, you keep it. I don’t need it.” You waved a dismissive hand. Joost sighed.

“You’re shivering.” He raised his eyebrows at you. You shook your head once again. “Please. I'm still warm from the performance, I'll be fine.” He reassured you, you gave in, taking it and putting it on.

The jacket smelled slightly of cigarettes covered up by fruity cologne. It smelt like him. You felt so comfortable in it then any other clothes you’ve worn.

Joost finally lit his cigarette that had been hanging from his mouth, praying the taste of tobacco would overpower the taste of you in his mouth. It did, somewhat. The taste was still lingering on his tongue.

He made sure to blow smoke in the opposite direction of you, where the wind was going so you wouldn’t get a cloud of tobacco in your face.

You zipped the jacket up as you continued to wait, rubbing your fingers over the rhinestone skull design on it. Smiling.

Leon’s familiar car soon rolled up, parking by the sidewalk.

“You were really great tonight. You were amazing. Exceptional.” You told Joost as you started to slowly move towards your boyfriend's car.

“Thank you.” He was grinning ear to ear.

“Night Joost.” You gave him that signature sweet smile of yours that made him want to melt onto the concrete. He nodded his head and waved as you stepped in the car.

Leon pretended to not see Joost, even though Leon was staring daggers at him. He said nothing to you once you got in until you stopped at the first intersection.

“Any good acts tonight?” He spoke, turning on the right turn signal.

“Oh, yeah. Great ones.”

“That’s great baby, when did you get that jacket?” He took a quick look at your clothes. You looked down, eyes widening for a second.

You were still wearing Joosts jacket. You were wearing another man’s clothes in your boyfriend's car.

“I just found it in the back of my closet the other day.” You shrugged, acting oblivious.

Trying your best to tell yourself it really wasn’t that big of a deal, Joost only gave you his jacket because you were very obviously cold.

It meant nothing. If he hadn’t kissed you, maybe it would’ve meant nothing.

Leon let out a small hum, turning on the radio and saying nothing for the rest of the drive home.

You ended up not seeing Joost for the next four months. You kept in contact over text and one phone call. But you never saw each other in person after that. You never returned his jacket.

For those four months, there was a strange constant yearning, some ache in your chest. You weren’t sure exactly what. Maybe you did know, but just didn’t want to admit it. You convinced yourself it was Leon who you missed, not the other idea you were scared to admit.

Joost had that ache of yearning as well, he knew exactly what. You. He wanted to hear your laugh again, your singing, your voice. He wanted to see your smile, how your cheeks began to ball and blush and how your eyes squinted every time you began to grin.

God, he wanted nothing more but to see you again.

Once you were all settled in your new apartment, with barely any help from Leon, you began to book performances at local bars as you used to do back in Berlin.

Leon promised you he’d be in Amsterdam tonight, he promised he’d be on time and watch your show.

You peeked at the crowd a few minutes before you went on. Looking all over for him, even just a glimpse of him would make you happy. Glad he made it for once. There was no sign.

You pulled out your phone, texting him.

hey where are you??

i go on in like five minutes

are you running late??

A minute before set you got a response, you quickly checked your phone, an instagram notification.

But not from Leon, from Joost. He’d sent a photo. Just as you were about to see what it was, your name was being announced and you had to go on.

The crowd swayed and nodded along to your music. It was nice, you didn’t mind the peaceful crowd, it was what you were aiming for nowadays.

In the middle of one of your shorter songs, you once again started to look around for Leon. You spotted a taller, blonde, man wearing glasses, and hovering over the rest of the crowd with his height.

Joost.

You never told him directly where you were performing, he must’ve seen your name on the list of performers.

You began to smile and giggled for a moment into the mic. That smile and laugh he’s been waiting for what felt like forever to hear again, it made him feel ten times better than he already was.

After several thanks to the audience and putting away your things backstage, you checked your phone once again for any texts from Leon. Still nothing, he hadn’t even read your messages.

You walked out backstage and back into the bar area disappointedly until you saw Joost standing and waiting for you. Two drinks in his hands.

A smile lit up both your faces as you saw each other, yours was weaker than his however, still upset of Leon not showing up.

“Hey! I got you a drink, your mouth is probably pretty dry after all that singing.” He said happily, holding out the drink that was for you.

“Oh God, thank you. I was just about to get one of these.” You grinned as you took your drink from his hand, taking a sip from your straw and letting out a breath of satisfaction at the taste.

“I remember you said that was your favorite, so..” He shrugged and tilted his head as he smiled again. You hoped the dim light in the bar hid the blush taking over your cheeks, he remembered it was your favorite.

That only led you to another saddening thought. Joost remembered more about you than Leon did. He knew your favorite color, favorite drinks, favorite scents, favorite movies, favorite songs of his and yours. If you asked Leon to name any of those, he’d most likely just stare at you and stutter, not knowing.

The problem wasn’t Joost knowing your favorite things and Leon not. It was the fact that Joost remembered. Joost always remembered the times you told him you’d be going on at, or the places you were going to tour, the stories you told, or even the small little details you had in your conversations, that he would bring up in other conversations.

You couldn’t recall a time where you didn’t have to remind Leon multiple times you had a show and giving him the exact address to where it was, just for him to end up there ten or more minutes after your set, or not show up at all. Leon would never buy you your favorite drinks, or even buy you drinks, or buy you flowers, or take you out on dates.

Maybe it was wrong to compare the two men, they both had different lifestyles. But you’d known Joost for just a few months, much less time than Leon, and yet Joost still treated you better than your own boyfriend.

Because he remembered. He actually listened to you.

“You alright?” Joosts voice brought you out of your thoughts, “You looked really sad for a minute there.”

“Oh, uh yeah, I’m alright.” You waved a dismissive hand, put on your best unbothered expression. It was a weak one.

“You’re not a very good liar. I know somethings bothering you.” He teased, you looked down, deciding if you should try to lie more or tell him the truth, “Did Leon not show up?”

You kept your eyes on the ground and nodded, giving him a sad smile. He let out a coo of sympathy. It made the problem worse since Joost already knew what was wrong, he could read you like a book.

You took in a shaky breath when you tried to speak, you shut your eyes, hoping for the tears building up to subside. You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry in front of Joost, you didn’t want him to see you like that.

“It’s just been so long since I’ve seen him in person, and he promised he’d be here on time tonight. He won’t answer my texts again, I don’t see him anywhere.” You gestured a weak hand to the bar, no signs of your boyfriend being anywhere in there. Joost made a gloomy face as a few stray tears fell from your eyes, he wanted nothing more to hold you in this moment.

“And he promised to take me to that restaurant I keep talking about afterwards and…” You trailed off, shaking your head. “God, I feel so stupid crying about this.” You looked to the side, wiping the tears away, only for them to be followed by more.

“Hey. You’re not stupid, you were excited about tonight, I’d be disappointed too if a date night like that got canceled. You know, I’d say he’s the stupid one for missing out on a night with you.” Joost leaned in, making you let out a weak laugh.

“Yeah, he’s the stupid one.” You sniffled and let out a weak laugh as you patted your eyes. “None of my makeup is smudged right?”

“No, wait actually, there’s like a small streak right here.” He pointed to a spot under his eye, attempting to give you a visual representation of where it was.

You attempted to wipe it away, missing completely. Looking at him for clarification that you got it.

“Uh, no it’s- here, just let me…” He trailed off as he brought his thumb to the mascara streak, gently smudging the stain away.

It was such a simple act of kindness, yet something about it felt so loving, so intimate.

After a few seconds of insanely intense eye contact, Joost cleared his throat and rubbed his hands.

“There. Oh, do you need a ride home tonight?”

“How many drinks have you had?” You half-joked.

“Just this one.” He held up his beer, you narrowed your eyes at him teasingly, which told him you knew he was lying.

“Okay I had another before this, but I’m barely even tipsy.” He held up his hands in defense.

“Fine.” You gave him a teasing smile.

The drive home was quiet as always. Yet there was no awkward tension between the both of you, just a comfortable silence.

Joost offered to walk you to your door for safety reasons of course, you would’ve said he didn’t need to, but he seemed adamant about it.

You let him walk you to the start of the steps instead.

Joost looked at you while you looked at your feet in perfect rhythm, both small smiles on your faces. While looking down, you didn’t realize that your boyfriend was watching from your window, a scowl on his face.

You stopped at the foot of the stairs, finally looking up at the blonde boy next to you.

“I think I’ll be okay from here. Thanks for the ride.”

“Yeah, any time. If you ever need something you can call me.” Joost fidgeted with his thumbs, a nervous habit of his that you noticed and found cute in a way.

Both your eyes flickered to one another’s lips, a secret aching to close that gap between them. You took in a deep breath, coming back to the present moment.

“I’m gonna take a shower and go to bed. I’ll see you later.” You waved and made your way up the stairs, barely halfway up the stairs he called out your name. You turned with raised brows, a bit confused.

“Um, I just wanted to say…goodnight, Y/N.” Joost gulped, that’s not what he wanted to say.

“Goodnight, Joost.” You said softly, before both headed in the opposite directions.

You unlocked your door with that same feeling of butterflies in your stomach, only for them to go away and be replaced with a tight knot when you saw Leon leaning annoyed against your kitchen counter, a single lamp on in the entire place.

“Leon? What are you-“

“What were you doing with him?” He cut you off, standing up straight.

“What?”

“Don’t act dumb. That fucker you met from the bar, John.” Your eyebrows creased together, confused at the name, then realizing he got it wrong.

“Joost?”

“I didn’t ask for you to correct me. Just tell me why you were with him.” He put his hands on his hips, a defensive stance.

“He was giving me a ride home, since somebody decided to not pick up their phone.” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I had a few work calls I needed to make.” He shrugged, unbothered as he told that shitty excuse he always made.

“Yeah. Of course. Work.” You muttered, turning your back to him to take your jacket off.

“Don’t avoid this, you’re always running around with Joost. Have you been messing around with him?”

“No!” You raised your voice, tone filled with disbelief at the fact he would accuse you of cheating.

“Then why are you constantly hanging around him? I see the way you fucking smile and bat your eyes at him.” He pointed a threatening finger.

“Because it feels like he cares about me more than you!” You snapped.

“Bullshit.” Leon scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“It’s not bullshit, it’s the truth. Joost has shown up to more shows of mine than you have! He's always the one who makes sure I get home safe! He’s done a lot more than you ever have.” You lazily gestured at the man in front of you.

“Then why don’t you go fucking go date him! If you love him so much!” Leon threw his arms up in the air.

“That’s not what I’m saying.” You huffed, “I’m saying it’s unbelievable that a complete stranger I met at a bar has taken better care of me than you.”

“Bullshit, I’ve taken care of you.”

“When? Tell me a time!” You shouted at him, waiting a second for a response. Nothing.

“You’ve never given me a jacket when I’ve told you I’m cold, you barely ever take me out on dates, you’ve left me at the bar and made me walk home alone in the dark several times, you’ve never waited for me after a show!” You continued on with your rant “You’ve rarely even shown up to any of my shows!” You threw your arms in the air as your voice grew louder.

“I’ve told you before I get busy!” Another meaningless excuse.

“Busy with what? You’ve never given me a clear answer! It’s always just work! Yet there's never a clear reason! Why can’t you just take some time out of your day to come and see me? You didn’t even come tonight! And you’re in the goddamn country!” You were nearly screaming at him.

“Because you act like I could give a shit about your dumb fucking shows! You think I wanted to travel seven hours to see one of your boring sets?” He yelled at you, voice full of disgust.

You moved your head back in shock, jaw ajar and trembling as you tried to find the words. He shook his head and looked away, as if he was disappointed that you were upset.

“If you didn’t wanna see me, then why’d you even bother traveling here?” You stared at him with watering eyes, if looks could kill, he’d be dead on the floor. “You know what, if you don’t wanna see me, you can just get out.” You spat out, embarrassing angry tears starting to stream down your face.

“What?” Leon quickly whipped his gaze back to yours.

“Get out of my apartment! Get out! Get the fuck out!” You were shouting at him and pushing at him repeatedly, all the way into the hallway. He stumbled out.

You didn’t really know where all this rage came from, maybe it was the pent up frustration and anger from all the previous months, all the missed shows and ignored messages.

“You know what, fuck you! We’re over!” He pointed a defensive finger at you.

“We are over, asshole!” You yelled back at him, confused when you saw, his jaw clench angrily as he looked behind you.

You turned your head to see what he was staring at, it was Joost. Standing there with his mouth ajar and surprised eyes. Your face dropped.

Joost was shocked, standing there frozen. It was shocking to hear your usually soft and sweet spoken voice shouting and screaming curses at the man, watching your gentle hands shoving Leon harshly into the hallway.

Leon marched past you, muttering something and hitting Joost with his shoulder as he pushed past him, turning the corner and disappearing.

You and Joost stared at each other. He watched as your face crinkled in sadness and you let out a sob before turning and walking back into your apartment.

You were embarrassed that Joost saw you in such an angry and vulnerable state.

Joost was planning to come back, to possibly make that confession he’s been wanting to admit for months.

Instead watched you scream at your now ex boyfriend and saw you cry. Yet he still jogged over to your door, stopping you from closing it.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked worriedly, tilting his chin down to try and make eye contact.

“I think you should go, Joost.” You couldn’t look him in the eyes, you stared at his shoes.

“You shouldn’t be alone tonight.”

“I want to be.”

“But you don’t deserve-“

“Joost. Please just go home.” You begged, finally looking up at him with your teary eyes. “Please.”

Though your eyes were puffy, red, and mascara was smudged and stained down your pouty face. Joost still thought you were the most beautiful girl, the most beautiful thing to exist he’s ever seen.

“Okay.” He breathed out, the word barely audible with how soft he spoke.

You mumbled out a thank you and an apology before you shut the door, he heard the locks click and rubbed his hands down his face.

Joost felt horrible for you. He felt ashamed too, like it was his fault in some way. Seeing you in that moment, seeing you like that, all he wanted to do was hold you. Cradle you. Comfort you as you cried.

You wanted the same. Yet, you had no idea why you turned him away, why you isolated yourself tonight. Was that really what you needed? Or just what you wanted?

It was radio silence from you for the next two days. You holed yourself up in your apartment, smothering yourself in blankets and sleeping.

You didn’t know why you were taking the breakup so hard, you were unhappy in that relationship. You felt liberated now, but the harsh words Leon spat out at you hit you hard.

What made it worse was that Joost saw you in such an vulnerable moment. You just felt ashamed and embarrassed.

Joost was nervous, he had another gig tonight that you planned to go to, you said that you would go to it when you found out about it a few weeks ago.

You hadn’t answered his texts, the most you did was open the photo he sent from your last performance. It was a zoomed in photo of you standing behind the curtain, text over it saying:

i see u ^_^

It was silly enough to get a small smile out of you.

Though you said you would show up before, he couldn’t find your face in the crowd anyways. After his show, he texted you, asking you where you were. You gave him a short response:

I wasn’t able to show up tonight. I’m really sorry, I’ll make it there next time hopefully.

Joost frowned to himself, he couldn’t blame nor be mad at you for it. He knew breakups were a tough process, he’s already had his own in the past.

He wasn’t upset, but he wasn’t gonna let you continue to isolate yourself.

Joost rocked on his heels nervously after he knocked on your door, a bottle of wine and a few flowers in his hand.

He did another smell check on himself again, hoping the quick shower he took was enough to wash off the sweat from his show.

He heard the footsteps dragging closer to the other side of the door, a small pause before he heard the lock on the door click.

You opened the door as far as possible until the chain lock stopped it, a very sleepy and gloomy looking you appearing through the gap.

“Joost? What’re you doing here?” You asked tiredly, yawning after you spoke.

“I thought you’d want a small pick me up.” He gave a sympathetic smile, holding up the wine. You stared for a second then shut the door. His face dropped. At least he tried.

Another click and the door slowly opened fully. You leaned against the doorframe lazily. The tear stains on your cheeks were now fully prominent in the overhead lights of the hallway.

“Is that just for me to drink sad and all alone?” You joked, Joost really couldn’t tell if you were.

“Well, we could always share. I won’t pass on wine.” He shrugged. Then letting out a cough as he realized he had forgotten his other gift.

“Oh, I also grabbed these.” He held up the few flowers he had in his fist, “I picked these from the bushes outside, I hope you don't mind. I just didn’t want to show up with only alcohol.” He cleared his throat, the flowers were drooping slightly.

You let out a weak breathy laugh as you took the weak flowers from his hands carefully. You took in a deep breath before moving to the side, giving him a reassuring nod to come in.

You grabbed two glasses out as well as a corkscrew while Joost placed the bottle on the counter.

You both drank in silence for a few minutes, Joost nervously tapped his fingers against his glass.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be so depressing.” You trailed off, rubbing the side of your face.

“It’s fine. I know the first week is always the worst.”

“Yeah. I feel like I should be happy, he was an…asshole.” You threw a hand up, letting it fall against the counter. “But I dedicated so much of my time to him, for so long, now it just feels like I…”

“Wasted it?” Joost finished your sentence. You nodded, eyes beginning to water again.

“All I ever wanted was just someone to just…just see me.” You breathed out. “Or just love me. God, I sound so pitiful.” You let out a sad laugh, a stray tear escaping from your eye.

“So many people love you.” He reached out his hand, gently holding yours, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

“Like who?” You said before taking another sip from your glass. Joost had already finished his.

Me. Joost wanted to say it so badly, but he didn’t know if it was the right way to say it. He didn’t know if it was the right time to admit it, he never knew when the right time

“More than you realize.” He gave you a reassuring smile, then reached behind with his empty hand feeling for the pack in his pockets. “Do you mind if I smoke?” He asked for your approval before pulling the pack out.

“Uh, no. You- we can just go out on the balcony.” You pointed to the sliding doors.

“You smoke?” He raised his brows at you, surprised a shy girl like you would pick up that habit.

“No. No. I just don’t want to send you out there alone. I’d rather not be alone here either.” You mumbled the last sentence out before getting up, moving to the doors, unlocking and sliding one to the side.

Sitting in the balcony chair opposite from yours, Joost lit his cigarette, trying his best to blow the puff of smoke that came out in the opposite direction from you.

The air was colder than ever now that it was the middle of January. You zipped up the jacket you were wearing. That same jacket Joost gave outside the venue all those months ago. He never realized you were wearing it until now.

He wondered how many times you’ve worn it since then.

And you never would tell him you’ve put it on more times then you could count, it had become an item of comfort.

“I’m sorry you had to see me in such an ugly moment. I never wanted you to see me like that.” You sighed out, rubbing your arms. He looked at you, eyebrows knitting together.

“It wasn’t ugly.” Joost spoke softly, smoke exhaling from his mouth. You smiled weakly, taking the compliment but not fully believing it.

“I don’t think anyone has been so kind to me. Not in the way you have.” You looked at him, sniffling. Joosts face fell soft, a sad sympathetic expression on his face.

“Nobody ever kissed me like you did.” You blurted out, mouth moving faster than your brain.

“Do you want me to do it again?” Joost was a bit surprised at his own words, the small amount of alcohol in his system being just enough to give him a confidence boost.

It gave you one as well.

You didn’t give him a verbal response, instead you closed that large space in between you and him. Quickly crashing your lips into his as you held the side of his face.

His mouth tasted of mint toothpaste and tobacco, the taste almost felt addicting.

You pulled away, both shocked by your sudden movement. Joost abandoned his cigarette, not even caring to stomp it out. He wrapped one arm around your back, the other carefully placed on the side of your face as he pulled you onto his lap and closed the gap between your lips.

Your mouths eloped each other, passionate and hungry for one another. Your hands were roaming all over both of your bodies, your hands moving to the back of his head and raking into his hair while his rubbed all around your waist, face, and back.

It was messy, so needy. Yet it wasn’t like any other kiss you’ve had, there was friction but it wasn’t because of the lust you both felt for one another.

It was fueled by love.

After a good moment of your lips being stuck together, you both pulled away, breathless, lips swollen, and amazed.

“This is so silly.” You looked down, giggling to yourself, then calming down and looking back up at him. “But I’m not drunk.” Your voice was breathless.

“I’m not drunk either, I wasn’t last time.” He stared into your eyes, looking like he was enchanted by you. He practically was.

“I wasn’t either.” You admitted, you’ve wanted to admit that for so long. That the first time he kissed you, when you kissed back, it wasn’t in the heat of the moment. It was what you wanted, it was what you wanted when you were sober.

“Is it too early to say I’m in love with you?” He chuckled, his hands still holding the sides of your face.

“It only took you four months, but I’m good with the time being now. You’re a good kisser.” You held your hands over his, your eyes watering not out of sadness, but joy.

You gave him one more kiss before wrapping yourself around him, hiding your grinning face in the crook of his neck.

This is where you stayed for most of the night, intertwined with each other in the moonlight.

Such a cliché scene, but this is both what you’ve been yearning for so so long. And now that ache in your chests is gone.

[gor3-hound]

silver lining

ft. leon kennedy x fem!reader

cw: 18+ content, hybrid!reader, very brief suicide mention, p in v, creampie, daddy kink, a LOT of pet names

a/n: hiii! throwing out some (kinda) fluffy smut for once lmao. mainly picturing vendetta leon, but any older leon works tbh. i'm so tired, so if you see typos, no, you don't >:[ hope you enjoy !!

word count: 1.7k words

Raccoon City was something that Leon would never forget. It's been years since the incident, and he still wakes up in a cold sweat some nights with nightmares of the things he'd seen.

It's fucked him up in more ways than one. He would have killed himself a long time ago if he was sure that Sherry would be safe. The “top secret programme” the government so lovingly initiated him into isn't the way he saw his life going - but if it kept her safe, he'd grit his teeth and bare it.

Sure, he's made his peace with it, but it doesn't make it any less difficult. He runs around like the government's personal lap dog and then comes home and drinks himself half to death. It's a routine he's gotten used to, and he doesn't plan on changing it anytime soon.

But it gets lonely. He's not a stranger to flirting with a pretty girl in the bar, but he never manages to get them to stay. He's not sure he's capable of forming a relationship anymore. Work always comes up, and no woman seems to want to stick around when he disappears for weeks or months at a time.

When he was younger, he always wanted a dog. That was another thing Raccoon City took from him. He still flinches when a dog moves too fast near him or gets too close. He's never been a cat person, either. Thinks they're grumpy bastards at the best of times.

He leaves it at that for a while. Looks like he's destined to be alone. Whatever. He's used to it by now. Or he thinks so, at least, until he starts to hear about hybrids becoming more commercially available as pets.

They've been around for a while, sure, but they were the type of exotic pet rich assholes buy to show off. He hears about the new hybrid adoption center opening in his city and spends one of his only weekends off doing a shit ton of research. He's not entirely convinced, but he figures there's no harm in taking a look. As soon as he spots you, he knows he's smitten. Bat your pretty lashes at him, and he'd do anything you asked.

You're the cutest little puppy girl he's ever seen. Fluffy ears atop your head, your tail wagging so fast behind you it's practically a blur. He doesn't even think about it when he calls a worker over, paying for you then and there. He doesn't even blink at the amount of money you cost him. He'd sell a kidney to be able to afford you if he needed it. At least the government pays well.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

It's been a few months since he brought you home with him. You were a pain in the ass at first, constantly bouncing around his apartment. Your tail was a hazard, always knocking things off his table and breaking things.

He wouldn't change it for the world, though. You've become the highlight of his day. He finds himself smiling as he opens the door to his apartment, hearing you thunder towards the front door as he walks in. He can't help but chuckle as you wrap your arms around his waist, leaning up to lick at his face.

“Alright. Easy, girl. Easy.” He says with a smile, pushing you off him and ruffling your hair as he steps past you. He shrugs off his jacket, hanging it up and settling on the couch. “I had a long day, y'know? Could at least let me through the door before you jump all over me.”

“But I missed you.” You whine as he pushes you away from him, following him closely as he moves to sit on the couch.

“Yeah, yeah. I missed you, too, pup.” Leon says with a grin, patting his lap. He waits for you to jump in his lap, leaning back comfortably. “C'mere, then. Don't you wanna come sit with daddy?”

Your tail wags lazily behind you as you shift closer, straddling his lap happily. His hands settle on your waist to tug you closer, and he rubs small circles into you with his thumb.

“Missed you.” You repeat softly, cuddling close to him.

“You’re a sweet girl.” He nuzzles his nose into your head and caresses your hair. “A good girl…” 

Leon hums quietly and his hand starts to wander along your side and up towards your chest. “And beautiful, too. Can't believe I got so lucky, baby.”

You giggle softly at that, tail wagging just a little bit faster as you press your chest into his hand, shivering as his thumb brushes your sensitive nipple over your shirt.

“D'you wanna play with me, daddy?” You ask softly, trying to press as close to him as possible. Your hips start moving on their own, rutting your aching pussy against the hard muscle of his thigh. You bury your face in his neck, inhaling his scent deeply. He always smells so good when he gets back from work, sweat clinging to his skin. 

“I just got back, baby. What's got you so worked up, huh?” He teases softly, grabbing your hips and adjusting them so you're grinding down onto his steadily hardening cock over his pants instead. He groans softly, reaching around to pet the base of your sensitive tail.

That gets a twitch and a whine from you, making the corner of his mouth tug up into a lazy smile. He rocks his hips up into you until he's fully hard and leaking.

“Alright, alright. C'mon, puppy. Let's get you to bed.” He grunts, trying to act like he isn't as desperate as you. His voice is low and gravelly, brows furrowed in concentration as he lifts you up, carrying you to the bedroom.

He plops you down on the bed, kicking his shoes off and pulling off his jacket. His hands roam your body, tugging off your clothes as he runs his palms along your curves. His eyes take you I'm greedily, his hands working to undress himself instantly.

“Fuck.” He groans as you shift on your hands and knees, ass up in the air as soon as you see his cock. His cock twitches, pre-cum leaking and staining his stomach. “Always so eager…”

All he gets is a whine and an ass wiggle in response. You lift your tail straight up, presenting your glistening pussy for his hungry eyes. “Daddy, please…”

“Yeah, yeah. I got you.” He murmurs, settling between your legs. He runs the pads of two fingers between your glistening folds, dragging them from your clit to your entrance, gathering the slick dripping from you before pushing them inside.

He thrusts them in and out a few times, letting you get used to the intrusion. Not that you need it - your pussy is always so drippy, sucking him in greedily every chance it gets. He curls his fingers, earning a low moan from you, your cute ears pressing firmly against your head.

“That's it.” He coos, repeating the action every time his fingers are half buried inside of you. “There's my good girl. You want my cock, don't you, sweet thing?”

All you can manage is to babble please repeatedly, already so desperate for him. He's not sure how he ever managed without you. You always make him feel so wanted, and not just when he's buried balls deep inside of you. It's nice. Makes an unfamiliar warmth build in his chest, something he hasn't felt since he was still a bright-eyed kid in the police academy.

“Don't worry, baby, I got what you need.” He says softly, pulling his fingers out of you and rubbing your juices onto the sheets before grabbing your hips. His breath hitches as he slides his length into your tight heat, his head tilting back in pleasure before he lets out a low moan.

He leans over you, pressing some of his weight against you as he starts to thrust slow and deep. He presses his lips to the back of your neck before leaning back, his thrusts picking up in pace.

“Such a pretty puppy.” He groans, gripping your tail to pull you back against him every time he fucks into you. The room is filled with your needy moans and the sounds of your sloppy pussy.

“Daddy…” you whine, drool spilling past your lips and onto the pillow your face is smashed against. He can feel you tightening around him, so he knows you're close. He adjusts his angle slightly so he rubs up against that sweet spot that makes you see stars every time he pushes in.

“C'mon, cum for me, pretty girl.” He grunts, hand tightening on your tail as the other slides up from your hip to your waist, giving him more leverage ti rock you back onto his cock.

“Fuck, daddy… cummin’!” You moan, your walls clenching so tight around him you almost push him out. He presses his hips against your ass and thrusts shallowly, keeping him buried deep inside of you as his tip grinds against your cervix.

His mouth hangs open as he feels you gushing all over him, his breath caught in his throat as his cock jumps and kicks against your cervix, the feeling of your pussy fluttering around him making him shoot ropes of his cum deep inside of you.

You whine softly again, slumping against the crumpled sheets. His breathing is slightly heavy as he drops his weight on you, pressing you against the bed.

You grunt at the feeling of him dropping on top of you, wriggling yourself free with a soft huff. You cuddle up to him after, ignoring the feeling of his cum leaking down your thighs. You give him a few locks to his stubble cheeks before cuddling up to him with a smile.

“Sleepy.” You huff softly, nuzzling into his neck with a content sigh, your eyes fluttering shut. He lazily wraps an arm around you, tugging you closer to him and petting your back.

“I bet. C'mon, baby. Think we deserve a nap.” He murmurs, kissing your forehead before letting his eyes shut, too.

[ranhaitanisgf]

hi hana! congrats on 2k followers once again and if it’s not too much of a bother, i’d like to have a mikey fluff/crack “oblivious best friends” & “stuck together” scenario/hc (whichever works for you) where it was after school hours and everyone in toman is looking for mikey ☺️ i really hope this combination is something new skjdjsjss thank you in advance!! 💕

—manjiro [mikey] sano // oblivious best friends // stuck together

☆ ˎˊ˗ KATIEEE hiiii im sryyy i took sooooo long for this my disappearance from tumblr messed things up 😔 idk how i did on this tbh !! i hope youve been doing well !! and also ur idea was so cutee wahh i hope i did it justice !! xoxo

☆ ˎˊ˗ gn!reader

☆ ˎˊ˗ wc ; 1.5k+

masterlist || 2k masterlist

“...mikey.” 

“yeah?” 

“how long are we gonna stay here?” the boy in front of you hummed, thinking for a moment as he swirled the lollipop in his mouth. 

“until they find us.” you sighed at him, leaning your head back against the wall. you could hear rapid footsteps in the hallway, people running around yelling mikey’s name, unaware of the fact that he was sitting in the classroom they just passed by. 

he hadn’t given you much explanation when he grabbed you and pulled you into the classroom, though you think you have a basic idea of what was going on; all you could say was, it was very mikey.

“so, what exactly is the point in hiding from everyone?” 

“it’s funny!” he grinned, crunching down on his lollipop. “but also ‘cause the doors in this classroom are broken; they only open from the outside, so i’ve been waiting for someone to come by and open them from the outside.”

“huh?! why’d you drag me in here then? wait, how did you even do that?” 

“i dunno, but i just saw you and it was boring here by myself.” he shrugged, not seeming to think it was a big deal. “aaand you’ve skipped out on the last couple of meetings, so i missed you.” he pouted, a childish look on his face. “where were you?!” 

“mikey, i told you weeks ago that i would be busy studying for exams…don’t you remember?” you sighed. “i even texted you before all the meetings that i wouldn’t be coming!” 

“whatever.” mikey said flippantly, the same pout still on his face. “you owe me snacks for not showing up.” 

“okay, okay, just stop making that face.” you said, pulling at mikey’s cheeks. “you’re making me look like a bad person.”

“oi, stahppp, it hurtsss!” he grumbled. you eventually relented, sighing as you looked around the classroom. 

“even being here with someone else is boring. can’t we just leave and go get food?” 

“but i’m testing them! they have to know how to find their leader!” mikey insisted, crossing his arms. 

“but you’re literally hiding from them on purpose. how are they supposed to find you?” 

“they can figure that out themselves!” 

“right…” you answered, giving up on trying to make him see reason. you really were hungry; you hadn’t eaten since you had that milk bread from lunch, which wasn’t a whole lot of food. “if you’re insisting on keeping us here, then you’re gonna pay for my meal after this.” 

“ken-chin will pay for it, but okay!” 

“no, you’re going to pay for it. i don’t care if you’re broke; you deserve to have no money for keeping me here.” 

“hey, that’s so mean!” 

“yeah, and you’re being mean right now by not letting us go so i can eat. i ought to just-” you stood up from where the two of you were sitting to avoid being seen, “-let them see me and then tell them where you are!” mikey’s eyes widened, motioning for you to sit back down, but you stood firm, not moving from your spot. 

“oi, sit down! they have to find me on their own!” 

“no! this is ridiculous! i’m hungry and i shouldn’t have to be kept at school any longer-agh!” while you were talking, mikey grabbed your hand, pulling you down with a surprising amount of strength, making you lose your balance and topple over. 

“urgh, what the hell-...” you suddenly cut off your words when you realized the position you were in. 

because mikey had been sitting right next to your standing form, you had fallen right on top of him, the space between your faces being very small as the two of you stared at each other. the space between your bodies was even less, and you swore that he could feel your quickening heartbeat from how close the two of you were, (you didn’t even want to think about how you could feel the warmth from his body right now). 

you knew that you should probably be clambering off of him right now and bonking him on the head for pulling you down so hard, but for some reason, your body was frozen, not knowing what to do. on the one hand, you knew you probably shouldn’t be staying here for so long, but on the other hand, you wanted him to do or say something, anything, to make you think that he wasn’t just an oblivious teenage boy, (how could he have not noticed your feelings this whole time?!)

“(y/n)...” he whispered, his breath fanning against your cheeks due to your close proximity. 

“y-yeah?” 

“can you get off? you’re kinda heavy.” at his words, you immediately scrambled off of him, your heart beating a million beats per minute, this time due to embarrassment. as soon as he got up, you slapped the back of his head, making him yell a loud ‘ow!’. 

“that’s what you get for pulling me so hard, asshole! i don’t get why you’re so adamant about staying here!” you yelled, feeling more shame and embarrassment than anger. you leaned your head back against the wall, wondering why you thought that anything would be different this time. 

it’s not normal for best friends to have feelings for each other, so why were you mad at him? 

this time, you felt the silence between the two of you to be unbearable, almost enough to make you scream with frustration. you didn’t though, instead choosing to just have your own internal monologue until you could make it out of the classroom. 

“(y/n)-chan? what’s wrong?” 

“nothing, i’m just tired as fuck. wake me up when we get found or whatever.” you murmured, laying down on the floor, not caring about the dust and first getting on your uniform. maybe if you laid down like this, the earth would swallow you up and save you from this embarrassment. 

you weren’t sure how much time passed like that, though you were sure that the silence filled the room for quite a while, only being interrupted by draken and takemichi’s yells in the hallway. suddenly, you heard some shuffling, wondering if maybe mikey was going to give up and let the two of you finally be found. 

you’d already gone too long pretending to be asleep, so even though you wanted to see what mikey was doing, you didn’t make a peep even when you could feel him getting closer to you. 

what is he doing? 

your question was answered just a moment later when you felt his hand on your cheek, brushing some of your hair out of your face, (you were hoping that your cheeks weren’t getting flushed right about now). 

“hm, i was able to hold back this time, but you really test me sometimes, (y/n).” after that, you felt his hand pull away, leaving you in much more confusion than before. what in the world was he talking about? 

a few minutes later, you heard him opening the window to the classroom, yelling for draken. when he arrived, he started chewing mikey out for disappearing for so long, which was when you decided to ‘wake up’. 

“hmm, you finally decided to give up that little stunt, mikey?” you asked, standing up and rubbing your eyes to make it seem like you were actually sleeping. “took you long enough.” 

“it got more boring sitting there since you fell asleep.” mikey answered, shrugging his shoulders. he kept the same lighthearted expression on his face as he started to get another earful from draken.

“you did this on purpose?! we’ve got stuff to do!!” he yelled, his face twisted in frustration. “it’s been a whole goddamn hour!!” 

“sorry, sorry.” 

you walked away from the two over to the door, trying to open it just to see. much to your surprise, it opened up, not showing any sign of the locked issue that mikey had claimed it’d had earlier. 

when you looked over at him, all he did was shrug, a smug smirk on his face. 

“you little shit! it was open this whole time?! i’m gonna actually kill you this time!!” you yelled, running at mikey. he swiftly dodged you and went out the door behind you, running into the hallway to get away from you. 

“catch me if you can!!” you heard him tease in the distance, fueling your anger even more. 

“when i catch you, it’s so over for you!!” you shouted, sprinting out of the classroom after him. 

as you chased him, he looked back at you, laughing and saying something that you couldn’t catch. despite the fact that you were acting so mad at him right now, you couldn’t help but admire how the light from the sunset reflected off of his skin, highlighting his playful smile and blonde locks bouncing in the air. 

you supposed that this was fine, for now. 

(mikey ended up paying for your entire meal out of his own pocket, leaving him with 200 yen to his name).

[makochi-furin]

Hii hii! I hope your doing okay today or tonight, I was wondering if you could write something for dazai (idm if it’s scenario, hc or mix of it and if you add another character you really want to write about).

The request basically is; a reader who finally told Dazai about their past abuser, how they got away with no consequences (who reader mentioned seeing sometimes in the city) and later said abuser goes to the agency on behalf their company to investigate missing items.

Stuff like this is really comforting for me so thank you if you do it :D I hope I put in enough detail for you to work with.

DAZAI AND CONSEQUENCES

A/N: baby, I’m so sorry, but this is long asf and I got a lil carried away💀 I’m also sorry it took a bit to get out. I work in a nursery, so I work 12 hours shifts, and this got to me slam in the middle of my first one (out of three in a row). If this isn’t what you wanted, you can send me in another ask :) But I hope you like it

WARNING(s): reader was in a physically abusive relationship in the past, mentions of PTSD, canon-typical violence, mentions of panic attacks, pissed off dazai, reader is a girl

—I'm gonna assume this is like a pt. 2 of this writing, but it can stand alone, too :)

—We all know Dazai is megamind over here. He sees EVERYTHING. Nothing goes unnoticed by him (which you probably find a little annoying, tbh, but oh, well). It's especially annoying when he knows things about you that you don't necessarily want him to know

—HOWEVER, if it's something that you physically and emotionally feel like you cannot talk about, like it brings you distress and discomfort, he's very unlikely to push you about it. Let's be honest, this man's probably never even told you the name of his parents. You don't even know if Dazai Osamu IS his real name, so he knows he hasn't got room to talk

—I feel like if Dazai noticed something about your mannerisms, or the way you act that very obviously speaks to past trauma, he'd ask you about it, like in my previous writing. If you're unable or unwilling to talk about it, he drops it. He SO desperately wants to know, but he cares for you too much to put you in any sort of emotional distress by pushing it

—When you do decide to open up to him, he's all ears. He knows how hard it is to speak about the shadows of your past, and he honestly is just so flattered that you trust him (he can't believe it, lmao. Like, three people in his life truly trust him) enough to tell him about it

—You were sitting on the edge of the bathtub in Osamu's apartment, absently watching him comb through his wet hair. The two of you had showered together, and you couldn't help but notice over the months of your relationship how much he had changed.

Osamu was flighty at first, and very distrustful. He wasn't a fan of placing himself in vulnerable positions. Not just to you, but to anyone. Yet, when you'd gently brought up his lack of self care, and how it made you sad to see the person you loved think so little of themselves, a change happened.

You helped, of course. At first, you reminded him to brush his teeth when he forgot, and then you began combing his hair. You'd point out when it was time to change his bandages, and call him to bed at an acceptable time because you knew he'd just stay up until the early hours of the morning (if he slept at all). Together, you two had even begun cooking meals, and he'd started to fill out a little bit.

Now, he made sure to do all of those things, even if you didn't remind him/cook with him, because he felt better, yes, but also because he could see how happy it made you.

He was still suffering from chronic depression, of course. You knew you couldn't fix that, and were thinking about gently bringing up a therapist to him, but he had gotten so much better. Even his coworkers noticed it.

Osamu dragged a comb through his brown waves, eyes narrowed as he focused intently on it. It meant so much to you. How could he not focus on it?

You knew it, too. He would've never made these changes for himself, but he had begun to trust that you had his best interest at heart. A few weeks ago, he'd even opened up about some of his own traumas surrounding Mori and the Port Mafia, about his best friend, Oda Sakunosuke.

Osamu trusted you.

That was why it felt so wrong to keep your own past from him, because he was finally starting to open up. You feared if you didn't return the favor, he'd wilt again. More so, you'd recently been catching yourself let parts of the story slip. Subconsciously, you wanted so badly to tell him.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" He asked lightly, brown eyes sparkling with so much affection that it had your breath catching. Osamu was watching you from the mirror.

You blinked, realizing you'd been out of it for a moment, lost in thought. In your lap, you fiddled with your fingers. Part of you wanted to shut down as your heart plummeted at the thought of reliving the worst of it...

But the way he looked at you, like you hung the sun and the stars, like he felt such fondness for you that 'I love you' simply didn't cut it...

It was time to tell him.

"Can... Can we talk?" you asked, surprised by the softness of your voice. It was almost ashamed, but you knew you shouldn't feel shame for what had happened to you.

Only, you were so scared he'd feel ashamed of you.

Osamu was a great aim, and he was smart as a whip, and he was oddly strong for his thin figure. He'd never let himself stay in the sort of situation you did. He'd fight back.

You felt so small.

He turned to look at you, leaning back on the bathroom counter. His eyes were gentle and knowing, and you couldn't tell if you were upset that he already knew what this was about, or relieved. "Of course," he said with a little smile, squatting down in front of you and taking your hands in his. "What about?"

You gulped, knowing there was no turning back now. If you told him this, you'd be trusting him with probably the worst part of your life. Even imagining it, the past with him, made you sick to your stomach.

You knew you'd backtrack if you didn't just rip it off like a bandaid.

"I overreact to things sometimes," you whispered, and he squeezed your hands. "I'm sure you've noticed it."

"I wouldn't use the word 'overreact.'"

You chewed on your lips nervously, staring into his eyes. Thankfully, all you saw there was understanding, but it was still so hard. "My ex beat me. For years... Anytime I did... anything, pretty much. It was bad." Your voice cracked as you continued, tears welling in your eyes. "I couldn't see my family... I ended up in the ER a few times. He broke me, Osamu. He had me convinced I'd never trust another man."

You waited with baited breath for his reaction, trying to hold in the tears. Your eyes stung and your breathing was speeding up into gasps, because you hadn't even told your family or closest friends the full extent of it.

Osamu looked oddly calm, but at the sight of your fallen tears, he got up to sit beside you. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, he pulled you in close, flush against him, and kissed your temple. "Breathe, baby. It's all right now," he whispered, squeezing you close.

You couldn't stop it now, though. What had been building up since you left your ex was being released right here, right now. There was no turning back. Hot tears rolled down your cheeks and clouded your eyesight. Subconsciously, you grabbed his shirt in a tight grip and squeezed until your hand ached.

"He beat the shit out of me, and nothing ever happened," you continued, the anguish in your voice now laced by anger. "He broke my collarbone... my jaw—my ribs and my wrist. He made me feel like an ant, like I was so small, and I still feel that way now, and even after I left him... I'm still suffering, but he gets to go about his life like it was nothing. I couldn't even go to the police—he said he'd kill me," you got out through gasps, squeezing your eyes closed as your vision had started to darken at the edges, anyways.

Osamu's eyes flashed with something you didn't recognize, but all he knew to do was pull you in tighter. He placed a hand on your head and pulled you into his chest, and you certainly weren't trying to resist.

"It's not fair," you added, knowing how childish you sounded. Nothing was ever fair. Here you were, saying all this to a man who had probably done much worse than just break people's bones, complaining about fairness.

You weren't a child. You knew life wasn't fair, but that didn't mean it didn't fucking suck that it wasn't.

"Sometimes, I still see him, you know... In town, I—" You had to stop, otherwise you'd make it worse for yourself.

He held you close, rubbing your back and gently scratching your scalp as he whispered for you to breathe. Osamu knew you were about to land neck deep into a panic attack.

Eventually, he did get you calmed down. He got you to bed, made you a mug of hot chocolate, and read to you for about thirty minutes before you were able to catch your breath, his smooth voice calming you better than any benzo could.

In the end, you two lied down together, your back pressed to his front. The bandaged arm that was wrapped around your waist felt like a safety blanket. You were sure you'd be embarrassed about your outburst tomorrow, but for right now, you simply soaked up the feeling of him wrapped around you so snugly.

"You're not small," he whispered to you, and that was the last thing you remembered before passing out.

—Dazai doesn't seem different to you afterwards, in that he doesn't act differently towards you. You were worried at first that he'd see you differently, that he'd see you as being as weak as you saw yourself, but it was the furthest thing from. He respects the hell out of people who can go through such terrible things, and yet come out so kind, so good

—While he doesn't seem different, inwardly you can bet he's raging. Dazai is PISSED OFF, more than he's been in years. He's made great progress, but let's not forget that Dazai can be a cruel mf. He's got a darkness in him that he doesn't want you to see, but it is definitely there

—He doesn't press you for anymore details, but he can't help himself. He digs. He uses his brilliance to find out who the guy is, who his name is, and any time he feels even a slight bit of guilt at digging into your past life without your knowledge, he reminds himself of the injuries you listed.

—You thought he'd forget the things you admitted during your confession? PLEASE. He needs to know everything about this fucking piece of work. If he has a photo, he might even text it to Chuuya, along with a message "wanted alive," and you best bet Chuuya takes it seriously (even if he hates Dazai, lmao) because just by LOOKING at the photo of this guy, everyone can tell he's an asshole. And you still see this mf sometimes? Man is RAGING

—Dazai stands on business, because seeing you so torn up about it physically hurts him. It makes his heart ache every time he remembers you in that state. He can't fucking stand it, and he has to do something about it

—Your words about it being unfair haunt him in his nightmares. You're right to a degree: the world isn't fair. However, Dazai knows that if it takes him a million years, he's gonna make this shit fair

—Then, what do you know, one day he's at the office and Atsushi comes strolling in with a Manila folder and the piece of shit, himself. There he is, practically served to Dazai on a silver platter

—"This is Tanaka Jiro," Atsushi chirped, missing the way Dazai's eyes widened when he saw the new client. "He's here on behalf of the engineering company that got broken into last night."

Dazai sat up in his chair, staring right at the man who had the gall to make you feel small and weak. His eyes darkened, and then he slowly smiled. It wasn't happy or gentle, or even playful and teasing.

He smiled like Mori smiled.

In that moment, if his coat was black instead of tan, he'd look the picture of his younger, crueler self. He supposed that part of him never went away, always there just at the edge of his subconscious.

He promised Odasaku that he'd push it away, that he'd do good. However, he felt that even Odasaku, his kind friend, would understand the necessity of it now.

Immediately, he jumped out of his chair and made his way over. His hand landed on Atsushi's hair, giving it a playful ruffle. As he looked at him, his eyes softened. "Maa, Atsushi-kun. You work too hard, you know. I'll take this case for you."

Atsushi stared at him with obvious shock, eyes wide and jaw on the floor, because Dazai never, ever volunteered to work. If anything, he complained about it like a child.

"D-Dazai-san?" he breathed, in disbelief. It looked like he thought someone had killed the real Dazai, and was now acting in his place.

"Ah, ah," Dazai chirped, shoving Atsushi away. "Go do normal teenager things. Flirt, make friends," his voice trailed off as his gaze slid to Tanaka, your ex, and the smirk lifted his lips once more, eyes flashing dangerously, "all of that."

"O-Okay," Atsushi mumbled, still in shock. He recovered quickly, smiling brightly at Tanaka. "Dazai-san is a very good detective, Tanaka-san. You're in good hands!" he promised.

Tanaka smiled back, and seeing the bastard have the audacity to smile had Dazai seething internally.

Maybe, he'd take all his teeth, so that he could never smile again.

"Thank you for your help, Nakajima-kun," Tanaka said, nodding.

As Atsushi walked off, Dazai tilted his head to the side, his plan already formed. "Follow me to answer some questions, and then I'll begin investigating right away."

—For Dazai's plan to pay off, he needs to figure out who broke into the company. It wasn't a planned event, and he quickly figured out the guy who did it probably had no connection to the company (probably just a low down thief looking for some quick cash), which made it more difficult. It was the sort of not-really-a-big-deal crime that the agency would usually put on the back burner (the only reason it even came to them was because the thief was figured to be gifted), but Dazai worked tirelessly at it

—He interviewed people, looked over documents from dusk to dawn, and just generally put in a hell of a lot more effort for this than he usually would for some petty theft

—You probably even notice how hard he's working. There are bags under his eyes and he's back to not taking very good care of himself, but when you ask about it (obviously worried), he just smiles gently, kisses you, and assures you that he'll have this case figured out in no time. He doesn't want you anywhere near this

—When he does find the criminal, their interaction goes something like this:

"I know you did it. Give me the shit you stole, and I'll let you off."

"Bet."

—He has this part meticulously planned out. While your ex is in work one day, Dazai plants the stolen items in his car, and then calls the company security

—He watches with glee as he's dragged from the building, kicking and screaming like an enraged toddler, and fired on the spot. Your ex's livelihood? Gone. Phase one? Completed

—Dazai sat at his desk with a satisfied smile, chin resting in the palm of his hand as he counted down in his head. Everyone else is entrenched in their own workloads, barely even noticing the malicious sparkle in Dazai's eyes.

Soon enough, the door bursted open, and your ex came running in. His eyes were rimmed red, like he'd been crying, and he was flushed all over from rage. "What the fuck did you do?!" he demanded, pointing at Dazai.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently, standing and walking over with the same smile.

Everyone else stopped what they were doing, watching the scene with widened, or curious eyes. This sort of thing didn't happen much at the ADA.

"You know what the fuck I mean, you piece of shit!" Tanaka screamed in his face, and it only made Dazai's smile widen. When he saw this, he hissed, "I think we should take this outside."

"Hold on," demanded Atsushi, immediately standing from his desk, along with Kyouka and Kenji.

Dazai didn't even look at them, staring into Tanaka's eyes, as he held up his hand to stop them in their tracks. The smile melted off his face, replaced by a cold glare and lips pressed into a line. "I'm fine," he assured them, light tone not at all matching his expression.

"But—Dazai-san," Atsushi mumbled, eyes flickering between Dazai and Tanaka.

"You guys are so dramatic," Ranpo said with a roll of his eyes, absently watching the scene from his desk, which his feet were propped up on. "Dazai-kun said it's fine."

Dazai tilted his head mockingly at Tanaka. "Are we going outside?"

That, they did. Tanaka stomped down the stairs and through the cafe, out onto the crowded streets of Yokohama.

Dazai followed, of course, even as Tanaka led him towards a darkened alleyway, obstructed from the view of the general public. Inwardly, he thought that this guy was making it way too easy. He was an idiot.

Tanaka stared at the dead end wall for a minute, and then let out a cry of rage, turned on his heel, and began running at Dazai with his arm pulled back and his hand clenched into a fist.

Nonplussed, Dazai side stepped it, loving every minute of the surprise on Tanaka's face. "What? Did you think fighting someone your own size would be as easy as beating on a girl?"

That had Tanaka freezing immediately. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he growled out, and Dazai almost laughed at his attempt to be menacing and scary.

Right on time, a black SUV pulled up. He might not be in the mafia anymore, but Dazai had plenty of contacts from it. When masked men jumped out of the vehicle, surrounding Tanaka, Dazai smirked at the look of pure terror on his face.

"Don't play dumb. You aren't handsome enough to pull it off," he said lightly, and then laughed as Tanaka tried to call for help.

He was knocked out before he could.

When he awoke, eyes all bleary and with a searing headache, he was in a big, dark warehouse. It was old and beaten, with leaking pipes and creaky doors. He was sitting in a chair, hands cuffed together behind him.

Tanaka screamed.

Dazai walked in front of him casually, hands tucked into his pockets. "Scream all you like. No one will hear you," he said.

"Why are you doing this?! Who even are you, man?!" Tanaka cried, the tears falling down his cheeks. He looked so pathetic.

Dazai loved every second of it.

He hummed, walking forward until he was right in front of the bastard, footsteps echoing around the wide open space. Grabbing a fist full of Tanaka's hair, Dazai yanked his head back, so he'd be looking up at him, so he could see the icy glare, the hate.

"You hurt someone I'm very fond," Dazai said softly, tilting his head. "You hurt someone I love... And ever since she told me, I've been thinking of ways to make it fair for her. It's all I've thought about.

"She's not like you and me, you know. She's kind. She's sweet. She's good. You," Dazai scoffed, "you're pathetic. A man who has to beat defenseless women to feel good about himself is no man." When he leaned in close, so his lips were inching his ear, Tanaka whimpered. "And me? I'm the worst of the worst."

Now, all Tanaka could do was cry and plead, but Dazai wasn't having any of it. He let go of Tanaka's hair, letting his head fall limply, enjoying the sounds of his uttered prayer. "No god can save you from me," he told him in a pleasant voice, taking a few steps back.

Dazai crossed his arms and hummed thoughtfully, making a show of it. "I thought I could just kill you, but that's not really fair, is it? She has to live with what you did to her, and I think the fairest thing would be if you have to live with what I do to you."

"You're fucking psychotic," Tanaka whispered.

"Ah," Dazai agreed easily. "I've always been more of a proponent of revenge, rather than justice. See, she probably just wishes you'd have gone to jail." His casual tone melted into something deeper and smoother, deadlier. "Whereas I'm more of an eye-for-an-eye kind of guy, so..." He pursed his lips in faux thought, looking up at the ceiling. "What was it she said?"

Tanaka stared at him in horror, especially when Dazai stared him straight in the eye and smiled.

"Right. Broken jaw, collarbone, ribs, and wrist!" He said, snapping as if he'd just remembered it, as if your broken confession hadn't been causing him physical pain this whole time. "I have plenty of history with breaking jaws, so I guess we'll start there. What do you say?" he asked brightly.

Tanaka screamed again, the sound becoming a cry of raw terror as Dazai began walking towards him.

An hour later, Tanaka still sat in his chair, still handcuffed, but he was bloody and bruised. Every injury he inflicted on you, Dazai returned tenfold. He was delirious with pain, and in and out of consciousness.

Dazai grunted when he looked down at his hands, seeing the blood that absolutely coated his knuckles and bandages. He'd have to clean that up before coming home to you.

"You up?" he asked, walking closer.

When Tanaka immediately flinched back, Dazai hummed with satisfaction.

"I won't kill you," he said, as if he was doing Tanaka some great favor. "You're going to go about your pathetic, little life with no job, and every time you look at yourself, you'll remember this pain. You'll finally feel at least a fraction of what she did."

Tanaka just whimpered. It was hard to speak with a shattered jaw.

Dazai smiled at the sound, crouching down in front of him to force Tanaka to look him in the face, in the eyes. "The men who kidnapped you are going to drop you off at a hospital. They'll ask what happened, and you'll be tempted to tell them. So," his tone lowered into a hiss, breaking the somewhat casual facade now that Tanaka had physically felt his anger. There was no point hiding it now. "I'll tell you the same thing you told her at her lowest point, that defenseless girl who didn't stand a chance against a piece of shit like you: tell the cops, and I'll kill you."

Dazai stood, jaw clenched. "And I'll be watching you from now. Step a toe out of line, hurt anyone else, and I'll bring you right back here. Only, that time, I'll probably just go ahead and do the whole world a favor, and shoot you in the head.

"I bet no one would miss you at all, because that's how small you are."

With that, he walked away.

—I know that was pretty brutal, but to be honest, y'all, Dazai was a whole ass executive in the PM (the 'demon prodigy'). He tries to hold it back in the ADA (per his promise to Oda and his care for the others), but let's not kid ourselves. The guy does have the capacity to do some really evil shit, and I think if he'd do it for anyone, it'd be you

—It just pisses him off so much to feel helpless, especially when it comes to you. He couldn't save you, then, but he can damn well set the record straight. In his head, he had to do something. At the very least, he had to stop this guy from doing it again

—You were eating dinner with him that night, and hadn't really noticed anything out of the ordinary. Both of you were just sitting at the counter, digging into some instant ramen, and you probably wouldn't have noticed if you didn't pay such close attention to him.

There was a speck of blood on the collar of his coat.

"Hey, what happened?" you asked, concern pinching together your brows. Worried eyes scanned him over, looking for any sign of injury. You found none, though.

"It's not mine," Osamu answered, and then took a bite of his food, looking pointedly away from you.

You pursed your lips, tapping his wrist. "We don't lie to each other, O-sa-mu."

He couldn't help but smile a little at your tone. His eyes finally met your's, and he tapped your wrist back. "It's not a lie. It's-not-mine."

"It's a lie by omission if you don't tell me what happened."

You were terribly confused when his eyes softened, and then he gently pressed his hand to the back of your head, bringing you closer until your foreheads were touching. "What's wrong?" you mumbled.

"I can't tell you everything," he admitted slowly, eyes shut. He looked so peaceful, like he was where he was meant to me. Honestly, when Osamu was all soft like this, it took your breath away.

"Then tell me part of it," you breathed, reaching up to cup your hand around his neck. "Did something happen?"

He stayed quiet for a long time, though you didn't know how long. It was like he was contemplating something serious, and that both confused and worried you.

When he finally did speak, it felt like time froze. Everything froze.

"I made it fair. He won't ever hurt anyone else again. I made sure of it."

The words were a whispered promise, and you automatically knew what he was talking about, of course. He was mysterious, and he had been distrustful at first, and you knew he had once been in the mafia, but he was also the person you trusted the most in the world.

Osamu always went above and beyond for you, and you didn't feel as safe anywhere as you did with him.

You believed him wholeheartedly, and found that this admission was enough. You didn't need to know the details, and probably wouldn't want to.

The relief you felt was enough.

"Thank you, Osamu."

—Look, he's so bby girl with you, but he don't play when it comes to your abusive ex💀

—Just... just honestly don't fuck with the people this guy loves, okay? He's gd diabolical, and he can be so cruel to those that hurt who he cares about, so... Just watch it if you're tryna show out to his girl, okay, lmao