#took me over 6 hours to make this jfc

[lonely-night]

Voyager Week Day 3: Favorite Relationship

Kathryn Janeway/Seven of Nine

[blueberrybladelemonade]

Confessions in the Dark

Summary: The Noise and Noisette have had enough of you and Peppino constantly dancing around the fact you both like each other. It's so obvious and you both are idiots. 

They have an idea though, they'll invite you both to the get together they're having. Everyone will be there and maybe that'll be the push you guys need. 

If not, there's option B. Or C.

Contents: The trope of "these two idiots like each other but won't ask each other out", Mutual denying of crushes, Feelings get crushed due to this, Swearing, Noise being rude, Semi angst to fluff, JFC can you both get together already?!, Somewhat suggestive but nothing nsft.

The Noise lets out a groan, "Look at those dumbasses." he gestures across the room at the counter. You had been here for half an hour now, the food you ordered being eaten long ago. Instead you were currently sitting at the counter carrying a conversation with Peppino. 

"It's so obvious they're into each other." Noisette agreed, shoving the remaining bit of crust into her mouth. "Arghe gohna ebr conbess"?

"Babe, chew with your mouth closed". 

The pair continued observing your interactions. It was pathetic, to be completely honest. If they got here before you did, they'd both notice Peppino glancing at the door, unusually attentive, if it was on a day you'd stop by. You'd alway come in on Wednesdays and Fridays. Any other time Peppino would barely look up from his work to see who entered.  

Noisette took a sip of her soda, finally finishing with her food.

"Are they ever gonna confess"?

It was telling enough that you would stop by and simply linger this long. It definitely wasn't because of, in Noise's opinion, the sub par pizza. Some days you'd just order a damn drink and sit at the counter, engrossed in what ever conversations you had with the man.

"Pft. Y/N probably still has that letter, or threw it out. And him," Noise points over at Peppino, "Won't ever make a move on Y/N. They're both fucking idiots. What they need is someone to confess for them".

Huh.

That was an idea. Noise sat up, it was time to go. "Come on babe, I have an idea that they'll thank me for". Noise slid out of the booth with Noisette excitedly following after him.

* * * Wednesday 6:34 p.m.

"We can always just go with option C then." The Noise shrugs. 

"What if they just freeze to death instead?" Noisette asks. "And how are we going to lock them in the freezer there"?

"That's option B," he snaps. "Option C is where we'll just walk up to the counter when Y/N is there and just confess for them".

"Shouldn't we try the less drastic options first"?

Noise ignored her, obviously if this plan didn't work, locking the two of you in a freezer where you'd have to hold each other to stay warm was not that drastic. 

"So why was option D a thing?" Noisette asks, writing in her notepad, "That will definitely kill them". 

He drags a hand down his face with a groan. "No shit. Option D is for 'Die' because if...No! We're not discussing that option. Not unless our other plans fail".

Noisette scribbles something else down before pursing her lips in thought. "So for option B do we need rope or handcuffs? Also I thi-" 

"Let's just focus on this plan." 

* * *Wednesday 7:15 p.m.

You had finished texting Noisette and set your phone to the side, a small grin forming on your face. Maybe leaving the house would be a good thing. This get together was on Saturday, which was perfect since you didn't have to work. 

What could go wrong, honestly? You pause before knocking on the wooden table you were seated at, remembering the old superstition. Just in case. A sheet of paper drifts away, you grab it before it floats to the floor. The smile on your face disappears as you aimlessly scan the words you had written.

You make a face and cringe. How did you even manage to write some of this? 

You'd write confession after confession. Hands shaking and your face usually staying a shade of red during the entirety of you writing. 

After finishing another letter, you'd slip it into an envelope and seal it. 

Then, predictably, you'd come back and shove it into your dresser. With the other dozen or so you failed to give to Peppino. This was just another failed letter for the failure you call your romantic life. You don't even have a romantic life, you remind yourself. 

Granted, you felt like you were being dramatic about the entire situation. Why was it so damn hard to write and give him a "I really like you" or "would you like to go out?" letter? You were more terrified of telling Peppino in person, so instead you opted to write your feelings out. Unfortunately you still were struggling. 

Numerous times you wrote everything down you liked about him; how he made you laugh, how you enjoyed the times you hung out, how handsome he wa- You faceplant into the table to stop thinking about it, face heating up. 

It sounded like an easy solution, just give him the letter. The real reason you were struggling was because you were afraid of him rejecting you. You sit with your face buried in your arms, as your thoughts turn dark. Why can't I do things like normal people? Normal people can just confess and be done with it.

In your case, you just know getting rejected would fill you with shame. Peppino liked you but you doubt he'd want date you. He liked you as a friend. You feel a sharp twinge in your chest. 

If you had any obvious signs he liked you more than that, you'd feel more confident but it's not like that'll happen. Too bad there wasn't a big glowing sign that would give you the answer. 

You didn't want to pretend you didn't like Peppino -in fact you kind of hated pretending and denying it- but when he rejects you? How would you have to act afterwards? Like nothing happened? More than likely you'd probably stop going to the pizzeria, it'd be too awkward otherwise. And it'd also hurt if you did visit. And it'd also be awkward.  

You shake your head, not wanting to dwell on it anymore. At least for this get together you'd get to see him. Maybe you'd get a chance to confess then. 

*** Friday 2:12 p.m.

Noise clears his throat, again, attempting to get Peppino to acknowledge him. Peppino ignores the smaller man as he adds cheese to a pizza, never even looking in Noise's direction. Instead he continues talking with you, asking if you'd like to watch a movie next week. You smile and say yes, eyes lighting up as Peppino explains it's an italian classic. He watches Noise still in his peripheral. Maybe if he's lucky he'll get bored and go away.

Noise rolls his eyes, with a "tch" before propping his elbows up, resting his head in his hands. He cracks a smirk. 

"Hey buddy, can you take my order instead of oogling your lover all day"?

You snap straight up.

Peppino whips around, eyes wide. 

"Excuse me but what the fuck?" you blurt out a bit too quickly. The food you had taken a bite of goes down the wrong way, sending you into a coughing fit.

"Merda! Look-a what you did!" Peppino snaps, "Y/N are you ok?" 

You wave your hand, " 'm fine" you gasp, grabbing a napkin as another coughing fit starts. Your shudder as you cough again, downing a sip of your drink. Noise shrugs as Peppino glares at him. After another moment you let out a shuddering breath. "I'm fine, thanks". 

Just as Peppino's about to yell at him Noisette pops up beside you. 

"Heya Y/N! Sorry Peppino I'm borrowing this!" You're cut off as Noisette grabs your arm and yanks you from your chair. Peppino watches as you grimace, sending him a "what can you do" shrug, as you let her pull you into a booth. 

For a time he'd watch you sit, happily chatting with Noisette. He watches as you look confused for a moment before you start shaking your head, as if saying no. As you continue chatting he watches as you suddenly lean closer to Noisette, a smile spreading across her face.  

The Noise hops up into the chair you had been sitting at. Now replaced by this menace. Peppino grumbles as he adds on the remaining toppings. "What do you want"?

"We're having a get together Saturday. Show up." He replies curtly. "And three orders of garlic knots". 

"Why-a would I"?

"Because Y/N is going".

"And"?

Noise leans in "I know you like them. This is your chance to tell Y/N. Or should I tell Y/N for you?" He begins to move off the seat "Actually, I'll just do it now..."

"No!" he yells, catching Noisette's and your attention. You both stare, waiting for a fight to break out. After a pause you determined an intervention wasn't needed, instead you return to your conversation with Noisette.

Noise remains standing, shooting Peppino an annoyed look. "Saturday. 7 p.m. At the lakefront".

Shortly after Noise and Noisette leave, you come back up to the counter. You thank Peppino for the pizza and tell him to have a good rest of the day. Peppino heaves a deep sigh as the door closes behind you. 

*** Friday 11:38 p.m.

Peppino lays in bed staring up into the darkness, replaying that moment from earlier. 

It had been months now, when the realization hit him. He adored you. Your smile, your looks, how nice you were, how you brightened his day. He hadn't noticed how much he looked forward to your visits at first, but they had become the highlight of his day. 

At some point he had memorized what you ordered. This lead to him always preparing a fresh pizza with your favorite toppings, ready for you when you'd come in. Gustavo had teased Peppino on a few occasions regarding his attentiveness to you, which would fluster him immensely. 

That changed when the realization dawned on him. He'd have the occasional daydream (that was more often than he'd admit), but he tried to wave them off. 

Sometimes Peppino had thought about asking you to hang out, either to see a movie or a even a simple outing. He thought of buying flowers for those days and giving them to you, watching as your eyes light up from the gesture. He'd imagine how the day would play out and how it might go. And by the end of the night he'd take your hands and ask you to be his. 

He'd imagine how nice it must be, to be your boyfriend. 

That memory from earlier resurfaced again. Your reaction when the Noise called you lovers. For a split second he felt his heart flutter. Your reaction and look of disgust promptly crushed those feelings. 

It was purely delusional to think you'd ever be interested in him. Peppino wasn't exactly what you could call "boyfriend material". 

On the surface, he could just look in the mirror and point out a laundry list of flaws. The top ones being; Middle aged. While not a flaw in itself, this paired with his other issues only amplified them. Fat. He wasn't really sure when or how but he had developed a gut. Balding. The hair he used to have and took for granted all but thinned and gone. 

Then if you were to dig deeper you would find; PTSD. Anxiety ridden. Short temper. And also sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night from night terrors. Mentally, Peppino felt broken. Even if you could tolerate him for a bit, you would get worn down eventually. Hell, even he was worn down by it. You didn't deserve to be burdened as well. 

You would never be interested in someone like him.

The best option was to simply treat you as any other customer. Peppino shut his eyes, nodding to himself. He couldn't keep holding on to a foolish daydream. What he needed to do was distance himself, then could move on and not have that sinking feeling like earlier with your comment. He'd have to come up with an excuse to cancel those plans next week too. 

It would be difficult for a bit but he knew he had to be realistic. The first steps were always the hardest.

 

*** Saturday 2:19 p.m.

"Sure".

You stare at Peppino, confused. Usually he'd be much more talkative. He barely even glanced up from the dough he had been kneading. 

"Are you going to meet up with everyone later"?

"I'ma busy tonight. Saturday's are one of our busier days"

"Ah." You're lost on what else to say, unable to keep from feeling disappointment. While this was true, you thought Gustavo was going to take over for the last few hours tonight. Maybe he doesn't want to be around the Noise? Which is fair enough, but there would be others there too, and not just him. 

You shift in your seat awkwardly. Some days Peppino had been busy and couldn't talk, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence like today. You wonder if something's bothering him. 

You pull out your phone to text Noisette. After pressing send you tell Peppino to have a good day as you move to leave. He nods, giving a short "You too." As he pulls a pizza from of the oven.

***Saturday 5:04 p.m.

At an instant the Noise had lunged at Peppino, grabbing the front of his shirt. "Listen here fatass, you better not bail out tonight or you're gonna play hide and seek with a fucking pipebomb." the Noise threatens, glaring up at  Peppino. 

He rolls his eyes in reply, wiping the flour onto his pants. "I already-a said I'ma going. Quit asking".

The Noise eyes him for a moment before letting go.

"You better close up soon then." he threatens, composing himself before heading out the door. Peppino sighs. He really wasn't in the mood. All he wanted to do was to just close, clean, and go home. He didn't feel like being around you especially, it already hurt to blow you off while he was working. Although with the others there, Peppino could use that as a means to avoid you. 

He steps into the backroom where Gustavo was restocking the shelves. 

"Gustavo help-a me close so we can go get ready". 

"Ready for what?"

Peppino stares confused at him. "The 'get together' tonight? The one the Noise and his girlfriend came in and invited us to yesterday"?

Gustavo shrugs. "First I've heard of it. Why don't you just go now? I can keep the restaurant open so we don't have to close early." he added.

Well that's weird. Why didn't they invite Gustavo? "Are you sure"?

"Yep. Go have fun. Brick and I will clean up too."

Peppino paused on his way out, turning around "Don't forget-"

"We'll make sure Bruno stays out of the trash. And the shrimp". 

"Grazie".

Gustavo waits until he hears Peppino's footsteps grow fainter. As he hears the door shut Gustavo takes his phone out of his pocket and searches through his contacts. Finding "Noisette" he begins tapping out a message;

"Peppino just left. Good luck" and presses send. 

Mio dios if this didn't work, Gustavo was on board with Option B. He'd even supply a blanket. 

*** Saturday 7:04 p.m.

You fidget idly with the napkin in your lap. As of right now, no one else had shown up so it was just you, Noise, and Noisette. You desperately pray that it's not just going to be you and the psychotic duo tonight. 

"Where is-a everyone?" the familiar voice makes you jump. You turn and see Peppino standing off to the side. 

The Noise shrugs "No one else showed".

You stare at Peppino as he slides into the booth beside you. He wasn't in his work clothes or even the casual ones when you hung out. You stare, admiring how nice he looked in the button up shirt. 

Your eyes widen slightly, realizing he had been staring back at you. You smile softly at him and he responds with one of his own. 

"Yay! Double date!" Noisette claps her hands, you both recoil. 

"We're not-a dating!" Peppino snaps, sliding a few inches away from you. 

"Don't be ridiculous!" You had a sinking feeling this was going to happen all night.

Noise's expression changes as he glowers at you both. "Ok I'm fucking over this!" Noise snarls. "Go make out, get a room, and go do...what ever you freaks are into. I'll even give you the handcu-" 

He was caught short as you splashed your water into his face, Noise yelping in surprise.

All eyes were on you. What could go wrong tonight? A lot. You feel the blood rush to your face, you sink into the booth feeling Peppino's gaze on you. He was offended no doubt. 

Noisette cleared her throat, drawing Peppino and your's attention to him. She had a notepad open and began reading out of it. 

"Y/N, you told me yesterday that you thought Peppino was cute but "don't ever repeat that".

Cute? Peppino had been called many things throughout the years. Cute was not one of them.

"And I know you have...how many confession letters? Like a dozen? You wrote but never gave to him." She continues, pointing to Peppino. 

You sat there, too shocked to argue. You opened your mouth but no sound came out aside from a pitiful whine. You forgot she knew about the confession dresser. 

Noisette directed her attention to Peppino now. "I found this..." In a quick motion, she sets a crumpled piece of paper onto the table and pushes it in front of you. It had your name written down, you recognized the handwriting immediately as Peppino's. Under your name was smaller writing:

Y/N

Mia Cara

Will you be mine?

"Also you admitted last week, with Gustavo as a witness, that you would like to ask Y/N out but you think "They'd have no interest in someone like you". 

You gasp you turned fully to stare at him, "Why would you thi-"

"Well guess what?! It's your lucky day! You both want to be together! Yay! Go make out like Noisy said"!

You both remained silent. 

"Yeah we're done here." Noise interjects, the scowl never leaving his face. "If you both needed your big ass glowing sign...there you go"!

Noise grumbles, tossing the soaked napkins down before pushing out from his seat. Noisette moves out of the booth to follow suit, she turns back around one last time, smiling and sending you a thumbs up, before catching up to Noise. 

"Well..." You trail off. "Uh...would you mind taking me home? Noisette was kinda my ride".

"Si..."

* * * Saturday 7:53 p.m.

Peppino had walked you up to your home, watching as you unlock the door. Neither of you said anything to the other the entire way home.

Now you both stared at each other for what felt like hours. You were home, you could go in now. Instead your feet remained rooted in place, until you said something just above a whisper. 

"I don't want to pretend anymore."  Your eyes flick to the ground for a moment before sucking in a breath. "I really like you." you say, "And I do think your cute, handsome even, and I love when we hang out. So maybe we-"

You were cut off as he kissed you. Everything had melted away except the warm caress of his lips against yours. His scent was familiar but at the same time new. Enticing. 

Peppino drew back with a shaky breath, face flushed. Your eyes meet his as if searching for something. The next moment you grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him back in for another kiss. You tug him through the door into your home. Peppino wraps an arm around your waist holding you securely against him. With his free hand he cups your face, thumb gently stroking your cheek. 

You clasp a hand against the back of his neck, pressing your other hand against his chest. In response he deepens the kiss, tangling his hand into your hair. You find yourself pinned between Peppino and the wall. The kiss had started slowly as if to savor this moment, then you feel his tongue gently graze your lips. This kiss was everything you both had wanted to say. "I want you. Will you be mine? I need you in my life" it was intoxicating. Every touch against each other compensating for all the times you didn't just reach out.  

You lean into him, feeling your heart racing and his as well. Both your hands clasped against his neck for support as your legs grew weak. His hands trail down your sides before firmly holding your hips.

He pulls you away from the wall, carefully moving you both back towards the couch. You feel yourself lean back into the cushions as  Peppino pulls away. The only sound was your shallow breaths and the feeling the heat radiating from each other. You feel him gently pressing his weight on you, his gaze softening as he came back down, lips once again meeting yours with his hands finding yours as you weave your fingers together. 

Now that you knew what you'd been missing, you had a lot of catching up to do. 

Sorry this took so long to post lol. I lost progress on this twice when my draft didn't save. 💀

[eternal-nyx]

1 MONTH ON T

 10/25/2023-11/21/2023

Days 29 - 56

Today is day 29 of my HRT diary! Holy shit! As of writing this, I have just taken my 5th injection.  Let's throw together a quick little list of the changes we've seen during month 1. 

Day 29

October 25th 2023

Hygiene: 

Looking into buying a new deodorant. Mine is slowly stopping working and I need to use so much more of it. My feet stink! I don't even wear socks or shoes. I never leave my house!!!!! This is wild. My body odor in my underarms is very much locker room stank, and my under-breasts smell like old taco bell. The amount of showers....JFC, 

NSFW: 

One inch of growth in the first month. Not mad about that at all. This thing is a plump little monster let me tell you. I get random erections, like a teenage boy. Sitting in the car? Erection that tingles and itches. Eating pizza with my family? Erection that makes me have to shift my weight, but I can't escape it! Crying over my broken bong? Yup. Erection there too. Fuck you, tick tack dick. 

I own an entire box of toys. I have a very healthy sex life and a partner who is more than willing to assist. But no matter what I try, it doesn’t STOP. And it’s not emotional its physical. I can FEEL this…..tingling? Fullness? I expected sensitive, and I expected wanting to have sex more. But being PHYSICALLY aroused more when I just wanna take a nap? Or watch tv?

Peeing is weird. I was just sitting on the toilet, peeing like one does, and I COUGHED. And my pee YEETED onto the wall instead of going in the toilet. Like....henh? The urethra in the AFAB anatomy isn't anywhere near the clit. The fuck is happening? Well. Whatever, guess this is life now. 

If my boobs don't stop feeling bruised soon I STG I might just cut them off myself. Holy fuck. Ow. 

Appetite: 

Early on I had some increased appetite that I actually benefitted from a lot. It helped me combat my ARFID ED, and was a welcome change. Though, now it's starting to taper out as nausea and PMS symptoms kick in. Hoping it comes back as my cycles hopefully cease.

Body Hair: 

Acne in places I never thought I would get it but here we are. Ass acne? Breast Acne? Thigh? Sure. I have Hidradenitis suppurativa (HS), also called acne inversus, I'm used to that shit. But my NECK?! MY SCALP? MY FUCKIN ELBOW?! The hell?! 

Vocal:

Yeaaaaaaaaaa we dropped ya'll. I'm a raspy, cracky, little bitch but OH I am loving it. I can't wait to see where it settles. 

Here are some things I wrote during earlier weeks about vocal changes:

October 18th 2023 

Night 21-Morning of Day 22

Overnight my voice really started to drop into a raspiness. It's like the beginnings of Laryngitis but instead of squeaking I'm rasping. That said, the rasping feels soothing on those sore areas of my throat. Using my voice in this comfortable range seems to help progress it without hurting it. 

October 13th 2023

Day 17 

Talking voice has begun to crack

October 16th 2023

Day 20

I think my voice just DROPPED

My throat hit an all time sore today. 

I was rubbing it and gargling numbing medicine and water. I'd taken the max dosage allowed for OTC ibuprofen and Tylenol every 6 hours on the DOT. I even took an extra of my fibromyalgia pain management medication. I had trouble eating, vaping (nicotine), smoking (medical weed), and also literally had chose my food based on what would help my throat or at least not hurt it further. I even spent parts of the day silent and nonverbal to try to sooth it and let it rest. 

However, I found that to be counter productive. I realized that using my voice in a comfortable chest voice range helped to sooth some of the tenderness. So I sung some poor man's poison and some seether. Then I went back to not talking again. It just HURT all morning. It's even affected my sleep. The throat pain bothers me more than the clit sensitivity. 

Just now, before typing this, the pain started to subside and all of a sudden my voice is like gravely and feels like I'm talking from my breastbone and not my throat. 

October 17th 2023

Day 21

The sore throat is less intense and no where near as constant. It comes and goes and so does my voice. Sometimes its normal, sometimes raspy.

Body General:

My mother noticed a change in my face shape during a video call. She said I look more like my father. 

I've noticed a change in my over all torso shape, however I'm not sure if it's due to weight loss, as I've lost 20 lbs, or the T redistributing things. Could be both I suppose. 

Menstruation:

I took pregnancy tests every single day I was late to be safe. All remained negative

After being intimate with my partner this morning, she informed me there was blood. I went to inspect, and sure enough, my flow started. My cramps are intermittent but normal for me in the moderate to severe range. So far the actual flow is light. Continuing to monitor changes. 

Misc:

Shaved off my face a few weeks back to monitor the new growth more accurately. Starting to feel itchy stubble on the chin. Here we go. 

Moody AF. Might talk about increasing my Cymbalta dosage actually. It's kind of intense.

[opieghoul]

17 Questions for 17 People

Tagged ages ago by @starry-skies-hazy-eyes. Sorry it took me so long! 😅

Nickname: I mean I have a few but the main ones are Opal, Opie, Lex, Lexi, and Alex

Zodiac: Virgo baybee

Height: 5'11 to 6'0 depending on which doctor you ask

Last thing I googled: Tangier. I'm watching Only Lovers Left Alive and that's the city Eve lives in, so I wanted to see which country it's located in

Song stuck in my head: Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode

Number of people you follow: Oh jfc it's been so long, hold on -looks- 1,210 and probably over half of them are dead and abandoned lol

Amount of sleep you get: 6-7 hours on a work day if I don't decide to go full gremlin but now that I work super early mornings again, I've been passing out by like 6pm lmao

Lucky numbers: 7 & 8 because why not?

Dream job: I mean it used to be makeup artistry but Sephora formally dimmed that light for me for the foreseeable future (read: retail is trash), so I'm in limbo on what I wanna do. It would be nice to get into a university and work to become an art teacher though!

What are you currently wearing: Black cotton shorts with white piping and a black tshirt that reads "Thou shalt not try me. -mood 24:7" in that super goth ancient english font

Movies/books that summarize me: Uh, none that I can think of would summarize me but I love movies like Only Lovers Left Alive, Encanto, Memoirs of a Geisha and things like that along with books that fall into the sapphic and/or fantasy category so? I guess gay, nerdy and spooky?

What is your favorite instrument: I can't play any to save my life but electric guitars will always have my heart

Favorite song right now: Ohhhh you can't do this to me! Ok so the few that get played on loop currently would be Enjoy the Silence (Depeche Mode), In My Side (Vision Video Band), Dark Nights (Dorothy), Innocence (Halestorm), Good Girl (Morganne), Now or Never (Meet Me @ The Altar), Labour (Paris Paloma), and My Goodbye (Jorge Rivera-Harris)

Describe your aesthetic: Goth lmao. More specifically some weird combo between witchy goth, pinup/mortcia-esque goth, and goth metal depending on the day. Witchy and casual goth outweigh the others however

Favorite author: I'm just getting back into reading, so I'll have to update you later

Favorite animal noise: The little squeak animals make when they yawn and those little tiny whines when they want your attention

Random fact about myself: I can sing pretty well but I'll absolutely never let anyone but my best friend hear it bc stage fright

I tag: Ok so I don't have a whole 17 people to tag in this, so I'll tag the few I can think of (note: You're literally under zero obligation to do this if you're tagged) and leave it open to anyone else who wants to give it a go, SO- @robotswilcry @jetpackdolphin @silver-sass @ephemeraltea @beautiful-flower22 @needleslace @padawanton @awsome-space-dragon @shynerdywitch @probably-a-mermaid

[bishiglomper]

JFC I'M GONNA DIIIIE

AUUUGH

too many spoons, too many spoooooooons

I think the only time I was in my chair today was that 1.5 hours I was crocheting

I started my day making coffee for me and my sister, lost hers, had to remake it... lots of added steps. If there's more than 2 cups of coffee I gotta empty and refill the reservoir and it just adds steps.

We went out to the farmers market. Uhhh we went shopping at Walmart for last minute stuff. Stopped by another store. Was gone for over an hour. Maybe 2.

When we came home the baby was asleep so i was her bed for maybe half an hour. I was in my chair then. Sister used the free time to wrap presents.

Baby woke up. Passed her off. I stressed about needing to do something productive. There's only 3 more days left and we're way behind on our baking lmao

So I made reindeer pops. Like 40 of em. I was struggling the last leg of it. Then mom and I made spritz cookies. I threw together a gift for my tarot friend.

I found I had a duplicate copy of this Japanese movie I liked so imma give her that. Plus cocoa and earl grey to try in it. A cocoa kit with mug. Two little 3d printed soot sprite magnets.

For one of her kids I gt a yarn set with like 12 mini skeins of different colors. Perfect for learning amigurumi probably.

I didn't want to leave the other kid out but I don't know her as well. But I know she's the green thumb in that family. Works in the college green house. Propagates all sorts of things at home.

I had these two little air plants in witch hat pots. I'm not good at taking care of plants soooo. Yay, a gift for the other kid! Got all three, yes!

That's when I took a break and crocheted for an hour while my sister wrapped presents

Then I wrapped more presents. I took 2 bins worth of stuff and got it under the tree

And then i cleaned up the disaster zone that was the dining room because my sister is a tornado in and of herself. Wrapping shit all over. Two tables covered and bins of stuff on the floor, I don't know how they have all this spread out so much.

Lol for some reason I thought I was gonna be able to tidy up the bathroom but my body was screaming by the time I started to finish up the downstairs.

I wanna do shit so bad!! The living room needs tidying again. There's 3 areas that have shit stacked that need to be moved to a different floor.

The upstairs stack is like 10 grocery bags of litter that needs to be disposed of...

The main floor has like... I don't even know. It's faded into the room as a clutter mountain. Clothes baskets of stuff. A fan. Boxes. Who knows.

And there's a line of like 6 boxes by the basement of shit that needs to go down.

Sigh. Which I would do... except that the basement IS a hoarders hole and there's nowhere to set anything new down.

But lol I let niece bring her bf over the other night.

As she was waiting for him she suddenly realized the living room was messy. Nothing too bad. 10 minutes work.

I asked why she suddenly had a bug up her butt. She never cleans wtf.

She said her boyfriend was a neat freak. The living room was bad enough to be giving her anxiety over it. I told her to just tell him we're slobs and he'd just need to accept it pffft

But anyway. I helped pick up

And then I'm like

Oh... I hope he won't need the bathroom 👀 😬

Looool the disgust/panic on her face was great. Then with a fortifying growl she ran upstairs for a few minutes. Came running down the stairs with TWO garbage bags of cat pee soaked clothes. All from the bathroom.

I think she tried to organize a tiny bit. There were loofahs stored away weird lol

But she made a huuuuuge dent just with the clothes and everything is gross so she gets a gold star.

When i go to try to fix the bathroom, it's mostly going to be me shoving anything on the floor covered in grime just in a box and shoving all the other random boxes back under the sink. There will be gloves needed.

Such high hoooooopes

Am excited for Christmas eve.

We're just doing our party snackies in jammies but I invited tarot friend and the kids. I hope we can hang out properly.

More excited for those 2 hours than Christmas 🤣

[percontaion-points]

Today’s review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descrptions

Chapter 9

As he speaks, he reaches over, slides the scalpel from my pocket and turns, flinging the metal across the cave. 

I gasp with surprise and confusion. Then I see the scalpel embedded in the throat of an intruder.

[...]

Screw Killian’s order to stay here. Kids just like me are being hunted.

Killian himself took care of somebody who had come into the cave in search of escaped inmates. He must know that remaining in the cave is a stupid idea. 

A guy I don’t recognize steps into the clearing, both of his hands lifted, palms out. A sign of surrender. His hair is the color of spun gold, and he’s impossibly handsome. He has the kind of face you’d see on a magazine. World’s Sexiest Male. 

He is the saint to Killian’s sinner. 

I don’t know why the book decided to meander through the entire “Archer is Bow” subplot. Especially if it was only going to end up like this, in the most boring, predictable way possible. 

Can no one like me just because I’m me? Will I always be a commodity to win rather than a person to love?

Chapter 9 summary: Ten wants to leave the cave, but Killian drugs her and she falls as she’s trying to leave. She wakes up 6 hours later, and yes, she does feel better. But that’s no excuse to simply drug people like that, JFC. Killian tells her to stay in the cave, but not even two seconds later, he uses the scalpel to kill a guard who wandered into the cave. 

After he leaves, Ten takes the dead guard’s winter gear. But what’s better is that there’s these cool vision goggles that tell her which way Killian went. She goes in the opposite direction. But then she’s set upon by invisible-to-her guardians who are like “You’re going to die if you keep going that way! Turn back!! TURN BACK!!!”

She ignores them, and they stop after a while. She counts random things to keep her mind occupied as she walks. (Counting is her obsession, if I haven’t mentioned it.) She then realises that the goggles have connected her to the other guards, who warn not to approach “the girl”. She thinks that it can’t possibly be her, but begins to have her doubts either way. 

She comes across a dead inmate, who died from exposure. Then she runs into her old friend Clay, who had been an inmate, but escaped. He explains now about how he’d been caught, and then put into the training facility under the prison as punishment. 

They come across Sloan, who is clinging to life. Ten asks Archer for help, in the hopes that he’d been hanging around like Killian had warned. He comes over, and now he’s super hot. He uses MAGI- I mean, TECHNOLOGY to make a room around them that’s super heated. 

But then he starts to use the info he’d gained during his brief stint as Bow against Ten in order to convince her to join Troika. And Ten is pissed off about that.

[0tivez]

what are the chances of you making more being roommates with the jjk men? i love all your headcanons!!

being roommates with the jjk men part 2

note: very high, anon! glad you liked them, thanks for the request! this is kind of a continuation of part 1, so all the romantic ones will be built up on it

warnings: gender neutral reader, implied nsfw

characters: gojo, geto, nanami, toji

<- navigation

gojo

⁜ leaves crumbs all over the house

⁜ you try to take a shower right after he does cause his body wash smells so nice and it makes you feel like you're in a spa lol pervert

⁜ has a 15 minute skin care routine lol

⁜ the moment you step in the bathroom, he will wait by your door like a cat and tell you to hurry up cause you have been in there for too long

⁜ leaves his room's door open

⁜ acts like he can't cook so you can cook for him or even better, 'teach' him

⁜ against doing laundries. why bother when you can buy clean clothes?

⁜ goes shopping, comes back with everything except for what you asked him to buy

⁜ buys you snacks he thinks you'd like

⁜ tries to be quiet after coming home from a mission late at night. he kinda wishes you were waiting for him every time

⁜ gets worried if you're not home by sundown

⁜ if you feel down, he comforts you with films and snacks. if you want to be alone, he will leave you alone, unlike any other time.

⁜ comes home and yells "honeeey, i'm home!"

⁜ i'm pretty sure at one point, you both would agree on being friends with benefits. how could you stand not touching this man while being with him 24/7?

⁜ he makes you feel really good, too

⁜ it's fun, you both feel more comfortable around each other now

⁜ first one to fall in love lol

⁜ won't admit it, will act like you were just one of his side hoes

⁜ and while it was true in the beginning, he stopped seeing others after a while

⁜ was surprised to learn you didn't have anyone else except for him

⁜ "you don't sleep with other people?"

⁜ "don't need to. you provide enough satisfaction for me."

⁜ 6 words to make a man fall for you i guess

⁜ his heart went 💘

⁜ started taking you out on 'nameless dates' aka he wouldn't tell you it was a date but it was

⁜ and you didn't know, of course

⁜ to you, it was just hanging out

⁜ till he kissed you in one of those dates

⁜ "uhh... what was that?"

⁜ "a...kiss?"

⁜ "yeah but for what?" jfc just admit you love him too

⁜ "do you want me to explain what a kiss is? see, when two people fall in love-"

⁜ "in love?"

⁜ "aaah... i meant that as in... y'know... birds n bees and stuff just out of-"

⁜ a kiss should shut him up good

⁜ "tell me more about those birds and bees, please."

geto

⁜ if he runs late, he will text you. he expects the same from you

⁜ shares his pantry with you

⁜ stopped cleaning his room at 3 am lol

⁜ you both live in a quiet neighborhood and your walls are thin (hence why cleaning his room at 3 am bothered you) so thin that sometimes, if you listen closely, you can hear geto's heavy breathing in his sleep

⁜ omg he once was asleep in front of the tv when you came home, he looked adorable

⁜ like

⁜ his hand was on his chin, leaning slightly to his right. cheek all squished, mouth open and brows furrowed

⁜ of course you took a picture

⁜ so dumb when he wakes up

⁜ cannot understand shit for like an hour or so

⁜ probably even falls asleep on the toilet

⁜ extremely jealous of your male friends, including his friends whom you're also close with (ahem gojo ahem)

⁜ you ONCE made the mistake of stopping by to grab something with a male friend and geto BURIED him in the ground

⁜ "thought you would have decent looking friends not gonna lie"

⁜ "why do you care?"

⁜ "i don't, just thinking out loud"

⁜ avoids you a lot, even after getting close

⁜ you try talking to him but he cuts you off quickly, just like how you were from the start

⁜ "whatever"

⁜ it's basically the same shit from when you two first moved in together

⁜ he brings lots of girls over. he tells you before tho

⁜ two can play that game geto

⁜ moaning race KSKDSAMWEDLKCSMEDWKCFSDEKWFN who makes the loudest noise

⁜ i mean... geto's competitive, he wants to win this

⁜ "you're pathetic, suguru"

⁜ "is that so?"

⁜ "yeah. can't even make someone scream properly"

⁜ "i didn't hear a single whine from your side, darling"

⁜ "i know how to make the right noises!"

⁜ "yeah? why don't you show me then?"

⁜ LOTS of complaints from your neighbors that night

nanami

⁜ made you breakfast the morning after

⁜ apologized for his inappropriate behavior

⁜ "i think it would be better for us to forget about last night"

⁜ "oh... is that... what you want?"

⁜ "don't you... want it?"

⁜ "i... i liked it. last night, i mean. i was wondering if you felt the same, too."

⁜ ah basically you are now a married couple lol

⁜ nanami is so sweet, he takes his time to get to know you better

⁜ you both sleep in your own rooms unless things get spicier. it's better for you both to have your own space

⁜ there are times... when you can't really make it to your room from nanami's

⁜ long baths together

⁜ aftercare aftercare aftercare

⁜ likes receiving shoulder massages after work

⁜ likes taking you out to dinner

⁜ this man will put a ring on your finger eventually

⁜ once you realized you stopped spending time in your room and ⁜ mostly slept with nanami, you both decorated your old room with big bookshelves and made it a small, cute office/hobby room

⁜ your young, sexy neighbor would often hit on nanami

⁜ okay now look

⁜ you two come back from a walk or something. nanami's checking your mails inside the apartment complex while you stand by him, checking your phone. your neighbor approaches you two and starts to flirt with nanami, not even looking at you (she never liked you anyways)

⁜ nanami responds dryly, just like he always did

⁜ "so, mr nanami, what have you been up to lately?"

⁜ "you see," nanami turns to you and gently grabs your waist, pulling you closer to his chest. "we have been renovating our house"

⁜ the neighbor looks horrified while you give her an evil grin, grabbing on to nanami's thick, juicy biceps

⁜ "ah, that so?" she asks

⁜ "yeah, my room was getting useless so we're turning it into an office"

⁜ she never made a move on nanami again lol

toji

⁜ ahem we left at decency right

⁜ yeah this man

⁜ you couldn't walk the next morning

⁜ he doesn't really care if you sleep in his room

⁜ i mean, you try not to but most of the time, it's impossible not to

⁜ no relationship, just fucking

⁜ it's good, great even but still... the ambiguity kills you

⁜ he doesn't bring women home but he does still not come home at times

⁜ does he sleep with others?

⁜ would that be cheating?

⁜ so you sat him down to talk with him

⁜ "whatever ya want, doll"

⁜ "...really?"

⁜ he's an okay partner

⁜ he doesn't change much from his old roommate self

⁜ cuddling in front of the tv

⁜ "bring me a beer will ya?" before saying hello

⁜ would go crazy if you were to open the door with a maid dress on

⁜ he wouldn't let you go for 2 days KWDSKLMSWELKMSKWLEDM

⁜ walks in the bathroom while you're taking a shower and hops in

⁜ quickies before he leaves for work

⁜ loves having you sleeping on his bare chest

⁜ lets you be the big spoon sometimes

⁜ can't say no to you at all

⁜ wants you to dress sexy if you're going out with him. would prefer if you left the house with a potato sack dress on if he wasn't set to come with you

⁜ commitment issues but it doesn't bother you, so not bothering him with your 'what are we? will we ever get married?' typa stuff makes him more comfortable with you

⁜ slow sex. not something he's used to or even something he would think of doing, but he seems to enjoy it with you. just taking his time, looking into your eyes and feeling your soft breath on his skin

⁜ still not doing chores lol

gonna go sleep now and imagine nanami holding me by my waist to make a sexy woman jealous. see ya ( ͡❛ ᴗ ͡❛)

[snarky-badger]

Top 5/top 10 fanfics to read?

Only 10? Uhhhh.... Okay, lemme go through my AO3 (JFC I have over 540 bookmarks this is gonna take a while)

THIS WAS SO HARD!!

Seriously, picking 10 took me THREE HOURS (mostly because I reread a lot of stuff). I could list dozens of fics. Go check out my massive list of stuff on my AO3 if you want more *headdesk*

1. Entire 'Parable' Series by Squiggly_Squid - Mass Effect - Shakarian

2. Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration - Cazcatharsis - Transformers

3. The Dark Inside the Fading Light - Macx - Venom(movie)

4. Tainted - Macx - Jurassic World

5. Take One - trashtrove (editoress) - Marvel - Ultron

6. Manage Me (I'm a Mess) - technically_direct - Venom (movie)

7. Liberation of Snipers and Spectres - by Some_Writer - Mass Effect

8.Borealis - Tainry - Transformers

9. Meet me at the Bar - Danypooh80 - Mass Effect

10. Fathomless Depths by Wafflesrock - Mass Effect - Shakarian AU

And a bonus because it always makes me laugh

11. Eddie and Venom save Christmas - susieboo - Venom(Movie)

[ropebunnykant]

Dude I have a whole story for Alex's girlfriend skfnfnf.

- she was raised by her grandma (her dad was never in the picture, her mom died when she was very young) who grew up with 70s-80s music and that's why she loves and knows so much about it. "We'd spend hours listening to her old records and looking through vintage magazines, it was the best part of my childhood"

- she's a very independent and outgoing person who brings Alex out of his shell when necessary and he keeps her feet on the ground so she doesn't fly away (metaphorically ofc kdjfjf)

- Yes, you're so right she moves to America for college. It's always been her dream to explore more of the world and it breaks Alex's heart but he's always known the day was going to come. They agree to stay friends (Sander is very happy "they'll get back together robbe I know it, they're like you & me!")

- unfortunately, they're young, stupid and distance plus the break up was a lot for both fo them so they lose touch for a while.

- she has never been happier, America has been so good to her. She's a double major in psychology and creative writing. She dates, even has a serious-ish bf but it didn't work out. She graduates....grandma doesn't make it to her graduation. She finds out she's sick.

- Going back to Belgium was never in her plans but grandma always comes first. The funeral was sad, she loses herself in grief for a few months but she's always been so strong, things get better.

- if moving back to her home town was not in any of her plans, actually trying to make a life there was even further down the list. It's okay though, she wanted to be there. After taking care of grandma's things she decided she needed to reconnect with her roots. So, she gets a job, a pretty cool one actually, it was nothing too fancy, but she did a lot of internships during college which helped her score a position at a publishing company.

- the next 6 months were good, and things felt in place for the first time in a while. That's when she ran into Alex. It was straight of a Romcom. They were both a grocery store (a fact both robbe and Sander giggled at when they were told this story later on), she bumped into him, he dropped his basket "oh sorry lemme help you" "oh that's okay I got it-", their eyes met and suddenly they had made plans to catch up the next day.

- It was as if nothing had changed. She finds out Alex took a gap year last minute. He did some volunteer work here, some traveling there, but mostly he had wanted to assure some independence with a job. His parents and Mia were doing good, she's glad to hear...god she misses them. Alex says he heard about her grandma and asks her about what she's up to. They laugh, they stare lovingly, lunches become a weekly thing, texts become a daily thing.

- What follows over the next 2 years is them overusing the phrase "we are JUST friends". They were older but still stupid. Ah love. You get it.

- Eventually, and with a very big push from Sander Robbe and Mia (hmm mostly Sander) Alex confesses how much he still loves (oh GOD, I've gone this long without giving that girl a proper name jfc- ok ok umm, ok got it) Camille. They hug, kiss, she obviously loves him back and BOOM!

"ok I want to hear you say it"

"I never disagreed with you! I just said to let them be *rolls eyes*"

"but you never agreed either Robbe, so say it ����"

"Fiiiine. You told me so. Happy, Sander?"

"yes very much, now let's go watch them get married :')"

(side note: they don't live in Belgium anymore. They moved somewhere else where Alex completed a masters degree but they visit very often with the most spoiled grandchildren you will ever meet)

Bestie...did I really just write that much-

DHAKDKWKD NO BECAUSE I LOVE ALL OF THIS ALSO THE WAY YOU WENT THROUGH MOST OF THAT WITHOUT GIVING HER A NAME I CANTTTTT

for once i have nothing to add. this is perfect i love them and this lil fictional world we’ve created just bc we decided sander needed a kid that hates bowie skdksk ilysm i’m gonna drop in your inbox with some mia headcanons in a bit k love youuuuuu

[dallanebbia]

betsubara

title: betsubara fandom: bnha pariring: kacchako; bakugou katsuki x uraraka ochako word count: 3.9k (including text in posts) warnings: none synopsis: in which the u.a. test kitchen tries its hand at the whole youtube thing, and the internet collectively ships kacchako. bon appetit test kitchen au + socmed au notes: written for day 3 of kacchako week 2020, with the prompt ‘desserts & sweets.’ i know that BA has its share of problems, but i really wanted to write this after stumbling across ba test kitchen fanfics on ao3 and some social media aus on twitter… i have so much respect for people who make smau fics, i don’t know how you do it. ochako here is a bizarre mix of brad leone, solha el-waylly, liziqi and emmymadeinjapan, and bakguou…. is bakugou :’) ao3: [link]

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別腹 | betsubara (n.) – Japanese, second stomach for dessert

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

Susan Anderson @susan.anderson – Jun 29, 2XXX My grandchildren said I would enjoy watching the UA test kitchen youtube channel, but I don’t know where to start. Can someone please give me some suggestions? Why do they change chefs in every video? 62 🗨️   133 ⭮   869k ♡

...

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Replying to @susan.anderson Hi Susan! I’m the kitchen manager for @ua_testkitchen, and I’d be happy to help! We have playlists for each of our web series on our YouTube channel, but I’ll do my best to explain each series below. 23 🗨️   241 ⭮   3.2k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Hot Takes – If you don’t mind some occasional foul language, this is a very popular series! Chef @bakugoukatsuki demonstrates techniques on how to make Japanese staples, from omurice to hand cut soba. It’s extremely educational! 123 🗨️   213 ⭮   3.5k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Bon Appetit – This series is all about French food, with Japanese twist! Chef @foreversparkling breaks down intimidating recipes like souffles, gougeres, and quiches for the amateur cook to try at home! 89 🗨️   165 ⭮   2.8k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Farm to Table – If you’re interested in where your food comes from, this is a great choice! Chef @u_ochako shows viewers what it takes to grow and cultivate ingredients. She also delves into the science behind making things like kombucha, natto, and beer! 155 🗨️   188 ⭮   3.9k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX From Scratch – This is our only series with two hosts! We ask our chefs @shouto and @yaomomo to tackle the challenge of recreating popular junk food and snack items entirely from scratch. These can be anything, from your favorite candy to foreign staples like Twinkies! 102 🗨️   288 ⭮   2.7k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX 10 Chefs – This series asks ten of our @ua_testkitchen chefs to undergo a series of culinary challenges of varying difficulties. These can range from cutting a durian to cooking a live lobster! 48 🗨️   85 ⭮   1.4k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX The Great U.A. Bake Off – These are special videos that showcase U.A.’s biannual dessert competition! We invite renowned chef and television star @AllMight to join as our host and judge. Our resident pastry chef @satousugarman has held the title for the past four years! 99 🗨️   174 ⭮   2.1k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX We also film various instructional videos, which are not part of any particular series. These can be recipes or in-depth guides to various kitchen tools and appliances. Hopefully these give you a good place to start, and feel free to contact me if you have any other questions! 21 🗨️   98 ⭮   1.1k ♡

...

↳ Susan Anderson @susan.anderson – Jul 01, 2XXX Thank you, Mr. Midoriya. I started watching Farm to Table, and I’m enjoying it a lot. I do have a question – I’m reading the comments, and there’s a cooking term I’m not familiar with. What is a “kacchako?” Is it a cooking appliance? 721 🗨️   2.1k ⭮   8.9k ♡

...

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jul 02, 2XXX Replying to @susan.anderson … Um. 202 🗨️   4.3k ⭮   10.4k ♡

↳ jfc they’re actually clueless @hitoshinsou – Jul 02, 2XXX Replying to @susan.anderson and @dekiru yeah @dekiru, what is a kacchako? 180 🗨️   961 ⭮   2.9k ♡

… 331 more replies

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“Hey guys!” Uraraka waved cheerfully at the camera. “My name is Uraraka Ochako, and welcome back to Farm to Table, a show where we explore where our food comes from!” 

“For today’s episode, we’re going to be doing something a liiittle different.” On the counter was a pile of misshapen brown lumps, mottled with different black and brown spots. “On our cacao episode, a lot of you were a little… shall we say, disappointed with me, when I didn’t make chocolate out of a cacao pod.”

Uraraka’s smile turned icy, as a screenshot popped up on screen. She held up a little slip of paper from her hand and cleared her voice.

“ ‘Making chocolate isn’t easy,’ ” she read, widening her eyes for emphasis. “ ‘This girl has no idea what she’s talking about.’ ”

The dark, saccharine expression on her face never faltered as she ripped up the paper into tiny pieces, throwing bits over her shoulder.

“Now, I’m here to show you that actually, yes – making chocolate can be easy!” The hard smile was replaced by a warm grin. “My friends at Tokyo Cacao sent me some pods to work with, and lucky for us, they’re ripe and ready to go!” 

She beamed, picking up a pod and showing it off to the camera. “I’ll show you guys how to turn these bad boys into chocolate - and after that, I’m gonna share one of my favorite chocolate recipes with you!” 

Uraraka then grinned mischievously. “First things first – we gotta crack this little guy open.” Reaching under the countertop, she whipped out a gigantic chef’s knife. It was easily as long as Uraraka’s forearm, and the polished blade was engraved with two characters that clearly read, ‘Bakugou.’

A choking sound was heard off screen. 

“Holy shit Uraraka, you took it?!” A man popped into frame, gaping at the knife in Uraraka’s hand. “Dude, Bakugou’s been looking for that all morning - he’s going to kill you for real this time!” 

“Not if he doesn’t find out,” she said seriously, fixing the blonde man with a pointed look. “You’re not going to rat me out, are you, Kaminari?” 

“And get killed in his Baku-rage? No thanks.” He shivered, staring at the knife as if it was going to attack him. “At least you’ve got a chance of surviving.”

Uraraka laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re acting like he’s going to eat you or something.” 

“You don’t know about poor Mineta,” Kaminari looked grave as he closed his eyes in a moment of silence, before scurrying out of frame. He called out, “If anyone, especially Bakubro, asks – I was never here!”  

“O… kay?... ” Uraraka blinked at the camera for a few moments and then shook her head in amusement. “Anyways, back to the topic – opening the pod! The rind is pretty thick and slippery, so be careful where you’re cutting! The best way is to set the edge of the knife in one of the grooves and give it a good whack, like this - !” 

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Pro Chef Makes Omurice | Hot Takes | U.A. Test Kitchen 3,439,062 views ･ August 29, 2XXX

To quote our favorite foul-mouthed chef: “Even a F***ing idiot can make omurice.” 

Join Bakugou Katsuki in the U.A. Test Kitchen as he makes a Japanese comfort food staple, omurice. This isn’t your average, amateur omurice omelette video - Bakugou breaks down the special tricks and techniques he uses to achieve the perfect taste, shape and texture. His recipe uses buttery chicken, fried… 

[SHOW MORE]

10,237 comments

hvf26 – 3 hours ago Japanese gordon ramsey 👍 2.7K �� 👎   REPLY ⯆ View 25 replies

TipTop – 2 hours ago new drinking game: take a shot every time you hear “fuck” EDIT: 13 shots in and 18 minutes left, i give up 👍 8.6K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 93 replies

shroomaster3110 – 9 hours ago bakugou: “even a fucking idiot can make omurice” also bakugou: “veal stock, red wine, honey, tomato paste, reduce for 3 days” me: instant ramen it is 👍 749   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 8 replies

obsssd1992 – 6 hours ago hOoly fuck the sound uraraka made when she tasted it 👍 9.4K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 155 replies

vulcanus – 3 hours ago 7:33 cracking two eggs at the same time with one hand he really be flexing on us huh 👍 233K   👎   REPLY

periperi – 10 hours ago 22:18 is it just me or does bakugou look like he’s blushing??? like, his ears are so so red 👍 5.1K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 84 replies

dinovino44 – 7 hours ago “just fucking flip it” I blinked and that shit literally went from goo to an omelet HOW 👍 144   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 3 replies

Angela B – 8 hours ago I would love to try this but i dont want to waste 17 dozen eggs trying to make it properly 👍 3.7K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 29 replies

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“Oh fuck, that’s good,” Bakugou groaned, mouth full as he chewed. The mango-coconut tart in front of him was dotted with swirls of candied orange peel as a garnish, but it did nothing to hide the fact that the entire thing was dusted with a liberal coating of violent red chili powder.

At his side, Uraraka beamed, sniffling a little from the pervasive scent of spice in the air. “I added some lime too, just to break up the richness – it’s not too sweet?”

“S’fucking perfect.” Bakugou scarfed down the last bite of the piece in his hand. He let out another long moan, the sound of it deep and guttural, and Uraraka’s eyes widened as she stared, her cheeks turning red. “Screw it, I’m eating this for lunch.”

“Eh?” Uraraka blinked, snapping out of her daze just as the tray was snatched from her workbench. “Wait, wait – Bakugou! Give it back, I haven’t even tasted it yet!”

“Pft, like you wouldn’t down a carton of milk after one bite,” he scoffed, holding the tart above his head and trying to fend off Uraraka with his free hand as she pulled at his arm. “Fucking get off, Uraraka, I – !”

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Aug 17, 2XXX alright since some of y’all are fucking BLIND here’s a list of every bakugou x uraraka moment on the u.a. test kitchen youtube channel (a thread) 184 🗨️   5.3k ⭮   12.6k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Aug 17, 2XXX [01] the great u.a. Baking show, cheesecake: during taste tests bakugou hated every single person’s cheesecake EXCEPT uraraka’s peach and plum one. He said it was acceptable BUT THEN HE GOES BACK FOR ANOTHER PIECE 2 🗨️   229 ⭮   10.4k ♡

…

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Oct 28, 2XXX [33] farm to table, jicama/watermelon: bakugou says there isn’t enough heat in the dipping sauce during taste tests, uraraka then pulls out the extra spicy version she made just for him and bakugou looks flabbergasted when he tries it and then HE TAKES THE SAUCE HOME 10 🗨️   121 ⭮   2.4k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Nov 01, 2XXX [34] from scratch, shrimp chips: at 14:53 you can see bakugou and uraraka in the background working on something together and when aoyama comes in waving around a whisk like a madman bakugou PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HER WAIST AND PULLS HER OUT OF THE WAY 15 🗨️   146 ⭮   2k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Nov 01, 2XXX [35] from scratch, shrimp chips: when uraraka’s taste testing the final versions, she tells bakugou to come and try them. Bakugou grabs the chip she’s eating out of her hand and takes a bite AND THEN STUFFS IT BACK IN HER MOUTH BEFORE WALKING AWAY 29 🗨️   132 ⭮   2.4k ♡

…

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jan 11, 2XXX [69] hot takes, udon: bakugou says he’s only doing this video because someone said he had to, and uraraka mouths at the camera “he can’t say no to me” and bakugou sees her doing it but just rolls his eyes HE DOESN’T DENY IT 34 🗨️   204 ⭮   1.8k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jan 11, 2XXX [70] hot takes, udon: bakugou’s testing the dough consistency and yells at uraraka to come over so he can compare it TO HER CHEEKS and the man no cap says “not soft enough, it needs more pounding” and the blush on her face AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 119 🗨️   451 ⭮   3.6k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jan 24, 2XXX [71] the great u.a. bake off, pavlovas: honestly just take this entire episode as proof you can FEEL the tension through the screen my god. the way they’re play-fighting/flirting throughout the episode jesus fucking christ the flavor is immaculate 85 🗨️   154 ⭮   2.1k ♡

…

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Mar 01, 2XXX [82] bon appetit, coq au vin: aoyama asks uraraka for help and bakugou literally spends the entire video glaring at aoyama from the background and ochako mouths “I’m almost done katsuki” at 15:43 SHE USES HIS FIRST NAME 26 🗨️   98 ⭮   1.9k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Mar 09, 2XXX [83] hot takes, takoyaki: uraraka asks bakugou to taste test a smoothie for her and he goes, “the one you made yesterday was better” but later he says something about hating Mondays WHICH MEANS HE AND URARAKA WERE TOGETHER OVER THE WEEKEND 37 🗨️   159 ⭮   2k ♡

… 13 more replies

↳ teatime @kabedondon – 6h Replying to @retrograade the detail in this thread is scary but even more concerning is the fact that you’ve somehow managed to convince me, at the very minimum, that they’re fucking 13 🗨️   1.1k ⭮   4k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – 4h Replying to @kabedondon welcome to the club, hope you enjoy your stay 21 🗨️   59 ⭮   573 ♡

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

Todoroki stared down at the gooey, green-streaked mess of chocolate in front of him mournfully. At his side, Yaoyorozu looked equally despondent, poking at the dull sheen of dark chocolate covering the biscuit in her hand. 

“Should we…?” Todoroki glanced over hesitantly, and Yaoyorozu bit her lip. 

“I was really hoping we’d get it this time.” She sighed heavily, before turning around. The camera zoomed out, the frame widening to show a few people milling around in the background. “Uraraka! Do you have a moment?” 

A chirpy voice replied, “Sure!” Todoroki visibly sighed in relief, quickly dumping his mixing bowl into the sink of dirty dishes as Uraraka came into the shot. 

“Huh, that’s definitely not right…” The brunette poked Yaoyorozu’s chocolate mixture with a frown. “What temperature did you heat this to?” 

“45 degrees?” Uraraka hummed, scooping up a bit of the mixture and dumping it into her hand. She rubbed at it, frowning. “What did you use as your seeded chocolate?” 

Todoroki slid the half-empty bag of chocolate chips across the counter, and Uraraka dumped a pile of them out. Little disks spilled across the marble, and she tested one piece between her clean fingers. “Uh, you know that you’re supposed to use tempered chocolate to seed, right?” 

Todoroki opened his mouth, paused, then closed it abruptly. Yaoyorozu buried her face in her hands and audibly groaned.

“Hey, the good news is that you can totally reuse this!” Uraraka tried to smile encouragingly. “Did the matcha chocolate come out weird too, or –?”

“Oi, what the fuck is this?” The camera panned to the side, where Bakugou was holding up Todoroki’s abandoned mixing bowl in a fist, features twisted into a grimace. “Did all those e-cigs fry your brain, Half-and-half? Who the fuck doesn’t sift matcha before –” 

“Hey, lay off of him, Bakugou.” Uraraka stomped over and snatched the bowl away. “Tempering is hard! And you know white chocolate is tricky.” 

“Tch, please.” He scoffed. “What kind of idiot can’t temper chocolate?” 

Uraraka’s eyes flashed, and she planted her arms on her waist. “Have you ever tempered chocolate before?” 

“What kind of dumbass question is that?” Bakugou growled. “Course I have, I didn’t live under a fucking rock like these two morons.” 

Yaoyorozu bristled indignantly, but Uraraka held up her hand. Todoroki just looked tired, and muttered under his breath, “Here we go again…”

“Then you wouldn’t mind giving us a demonstration, would you?” Bakugou looked at her sweet, smiling face suspiciously. “Or are you too chicken to prove it?”

Red eyes flashed dangerously. “... the fuck did you just say?”

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

The video cut to a shot of lumpy, melted white goo, before zooming out to show Bakugou’s scowl. “What the fuck is wrong with this shitty chocolate?” He kept stirring, even more vigorously this time, and looked down at the mixture as if he was trying to set it on fire with his glare.

Todoroki and Yaoyorozu were tucked a little ways away, snickering quietly as they watched from a safe distance away. Across from Bakugou, leaning casually against the counter, Uraraka smiled gleefully.

“Hur-dur, ‘what kind of idiot can’t temper chocolate?’ ” she mimicked, her voice lowered in an approximation of the blonde’s low growl. Uraraka laughed, and then ducked as a chocolate-covered spatula sailed over her head.

“FUCK OFF, ROUND FACE!” 

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

smolbean678 reblogged kryssalys ochaakou:

reasons you should stan uraraka ochako, u.a.’s farming goddess and resident bakugou whisperer:

- has probably saved about half of the “from scratch” episodes by virtue of being the only person in the entire u.a. test kitchen who can consistently temper chocolate

- speaking of chocolate, this woman pulled the hardest flex by making her own chocolate from a raw cacao pod, and then proceeded to make chocolate chicken mole with it just to prove to the haters that she could 

- is the acting president of the musutafu ninniclub, a japanese club for lovers of garlic. she also openly admits to sleeping with a ninnikyun plushie, aka the club mascot which is apparently a giant garlic clove (seriously, you can’t make this shit up guys)

- vocal advocate of Feeding Japan, a hunger relief organization that works to combat food insecurity, and is frequently seen volunteering at food banks and soup kitchens (1) (2) (3) (4)

- a lot of the ingredients she features in the “farm to table” series come from her parent’s farm! (pics) she grew up working at her parents’ stall at her hometown farmer’s market and promotes buying locally to support regional farms and businesses.

- this masterpiece of a tweet: “I love food and I love to eat. If someone wants to shame me for my body then they can go fuck themselves.”

- creates recipes that not only taste good but are also healthy, quick, easy and beginner friendly – yes, I’m looking at you, mr. bakugou “just fucking flip it and reduce for 3 days” katsuki – see the archive of her recipes here (x)

- has a tiktok dedicated entirely to trolling todoroki’s reactions with weird flavors of soba, these are my favorites (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)

- she’s a self-taught chef who started as a dishwasher and worked up to being the sous chef at ryuko tatsuma’s restaurant dragoon before coming to the u.a. test kitchen and was regularly praised by food critics (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

- has single-handedly saved u.a. millions of yen from that one time she stopped bakugou from ‘accidentally’ exploding an air fryer

- speaks fluent baku-rage, not to mention their chemistry is off the charts hoO BOY the slow burn is fucking real y’all

alright there’s so much more stuff but I fucking hate formatting links, so watch farm to table and follow uraraka on social media (twitter / instagram / tiktok) because this queen deserves our love. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

hoooooot-hoot:

[link] to the twitter thread for my fellow kacchako shippers, i gotchu

54,230 notes #ua test kitchen #kacchako #stan uraraka #bakugou better worship our queen or im gonna throw hands

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

“Ugh.” Uraraka glared down at the sad, deflated lumps sitting in the middle of her ramekins. “Where is Aoyama when you need him?” 

“That looks pathetic,” a blunt voice said, and Uraraka sighed as Bakugou came into the camera frame, leaning over the counter to peer into one cup with a skeptical look. “What the hell are you making?” 

“Well, it’s supposed to be a pistachio-strawberry souffle.” She huffed, rubbing at her neck in frustration. “I can’t figure out how to get the nuts to distribute evenly… and it’s just not rising? I don’t get it – I remade my pastry cream like, three times, I know it’s fine, and I buttered my molds but it just…”

“You try freezing the molds after you butter them?” A frown came over Uraraka’s face as she shook her head. Bakugou grabbed one of the little cups, prodding the contents with a finger, and made a face. “Keeps it from contaminating your mixture and fucking up the rise.”

“When I make them at home, they’re usually fine at room temp,” she said dejectedly. “I don’t know why I can’t get it right today.” 

The camera zoomed in a little, focusing on Bakugou’s expression as he glanced towards Uraraka. He looked a little concerned, and after a beat of silence, he came around the counter to stand beside her.

“Oi, don’t get all mopey on me, Cheeks.” He nudged her shoulder lightly, settling a hand across the back of Uraraka’s neck. “You good?” 

She sighed heavily, leaning a little into his hand. “Yeah, yeah, I just… I don’t know. My brain isn’t working right now.” 

“Tch.” Bakugou looked over the mess of bowls spread across the counter, eyes settling on the deflated looking egg-whites on one side. “Look – I’ll help ya out, just this once. Don’t quit on me now, yeah?

She blinked, looking up at him with furrowed brows. “But I thought… don’t you have that thing, with –”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. This is more important,” he said, shrugging off his leather jacket and rolling up his sleeves. Uraraka just looked back at him in confusion. 

“But…” She bit her lip hesitantly. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah.” Bakugou smirked back at her as he tied on his apron. “I got you, Cheeks.” 

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

[Video: Todoroki, frozen in place with blank eyes and noodles falling out of his mouth as someone shakes his unresponsive body]

u_ochako: i… may have made chocolate flavored soba. PLEASE DON’T CRY TODOROKI #imsorry ♡ 137.4K   🗨️ 3251 

trololoki: holy shit he actually looks like he’s about to cry View replies (157) ⯆ 

augusttine: can we all agree that what makes this 10x funnier is bakugou’s hyena cackling in the background View replies (209) ⯆ 

u_24: this is soba-sphemous View replies (54) ⯆ 

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

Uraraka rubbed her eyes, blinking as she gaped.

“You…” She looked up at him, chin trembling. “Did you really…?”

“Tch.” Bakugou huffed, trying to hide a smile. “What, your eyes don’t work now, Cheeks?” he teased. 

“I just - ” Uraraka pinched herself, yelping at the pain, before a huge, toothy smile broke out across her face. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you actually did it.” 

“You did get on your knees and beg, so…” He shrugged, snickering as Uraraka approached the counter reverently, her face glowing in sheer joy. “Ten kinds of mochi, as fuckin’ promised.”

She turned to him pleadingly. “Can I…?” 

“I already took the photos.” He nodded at the spread, a rainbow of different colors delicately arranged with a pot of tea, ready to be eaten. “Go for it, babygirl.”

Uraraka already had a daifuku mochi halfway to her mouth, lips open as she got ready to take a bite, when an unfamiliar voice cut into the video. 

“Wait a second.” Both of them paused to look at the camera in confusion. “Did he just call you babygirl?” 

There was a beat of silence, before Uraraka’s face exploded into a bright red blush. Next to her, Bakugou quietly muttered, “Fuck.”

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

[Photo: an image featuring white sheets and pillows, a woman’s bare upper back, and messy brown hair with a woman’s face half-buried in a pillow]

Liked by dekiru, redkiri, and 541,803 others bakugoukatsuki: delicious u_ochako: UM bakugoukatsuki: @u_ochako did i lie though shouto: thank god fucking finally View all 6,248 comments

3 HOURS AGO

─── ･｡ﾟ❁ﾟ｡･ ───

SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jun 04, 2XXX RT @marsali: I. FUCKING. CALLED. IT. 

THIS IS WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF @marsali – 21m @retrograade THE SHIP HAS SAILED I REPEAT THE SHIP HAS SAILED #kacchako [media attached]

42 🗨️   3.8k ⭮   8.7k ♡

[madmadmilk]

hey sooooo what would it be like taking a pic with tom??

thank all of u for asking,,,,,,so here ya go!

… u… you can’t believe it. somehow you ended up at a starbucks (god, of all places) with Tom Holland™– and that you worked up the courage to ask for a picture? magnificent.

you were just waiting for your drink at some ungodly early hour on a sunday, avoiding the rush while begrudgingly starting a day of studying with some good ole sugar and caffeine. the place was empty except for a sleepy-eyed barista, you, and an older couple. not uncommon.

you scroll through your email on your phone, then quickly switched to instagram, totally ignoring the sound of the door opening and closing. you had music playing in one earbud while you played with the other in your hand– you could hear the whir of machines and laughter of new patrons strolling in.

but you weren’t able to ignore the customers for long; their conversation was loud and quick, and a certain voice was familiar.

you took a short sideways glance towards them, now ordering through the sleepy-eyed barista. there were two tall and relatively attractive guys, and then….. one that you recognized all too well.

holy….. fcking……… … . shit.

you faced forward quickly, your heart racing stupidly fast. you suddenly don’t know what to do wit your hands, even thought they were occupied with a phone and an earbud– you were suddenly sweating.

what the FUasldfalskdfKCK

you blink, there was some god damn shawn mendes song playing in your ear and suddenly the barista is coming over calling your name and you blink hard. 

“oh– uhm,” you wave, stepping up. you feel the stare of everyone in the room, “thank you” you smile crookedly at them.

you start to back away but the barista motions for you to come closer, wide-eyed now. they tip their head, looking at you from under the brim of their hat, 

“dude… that’s like… spider-man over there right?”

they discreetly point at the three guys squabbling over the menu. you glance, the man in question is looking back over at you, of fucking course.

“m-mmhmm,” you smile, lips pressed into a hard awkward line, “that’s him.”

“oh, dope, gotta ask for a picture then,” they say smiling. they quickly go back to the register, giving tom a good handshake or something and asking for a pic.

wow, tom suddenly made that person’s day–

could he make yours?

you fidget with the phone in your hand, shakily dropping it to the counter while you punch the straw into your iced coffee. your mouth drops as the trio gets closer, moving towards the waiting counter where you are. 

w o w.

ok so, u had a policy, or you thought u had a policy, of not wanting to interfere with, like, celebrities and their daily activities— but— but this was like 6 AM on a sunday and there’s not really anyone here and he’s not busy and he took a pic with that guy and like— god u love spider0man or tom holland or both and this is just like one in a million and uhm

“hey, uhm, do you mind if i uh–?” you immediately blurt after spinning around, catching everyone in that group off guard. your face is fucking FLAMING. your voice gets small when you get to see his features in the flesh, “ take a picture with you?”

the pretty face you’ve only seen in pictures smiles right in front of you. his brows twitch into a pinch, before softening, 

“of course.”

and god fucking dammit, you don’t know what to do with your hands again, your phone is slipping through your fingers and you’re holding a drink and shawn mendes is still fuckign singing in your ear–

“i can take it,” he says, voice lovely and close. he takes it from your hands, and navigates to find your camera easily

“thanks, tom” you say, slyly taking a chance to say his name.

he laughs, taken a bit aback by the forwardness. these days most people call him spider-man. or the full “tom holland”— curious

he holds up the camera, aimed towards your faces and you’re embarrassed to see yours on the same screen as his– it doesn’t feel like you or him.

tom’s smiling already , his arm straightened, you take a step closer to him your arm coming up to hover over his waist, “can i–?”

“go right ahead”

you hug his waist and lean in closer, ice coffee still balanced in your freezing fingers. his hand naturally holds your waist too

“alright, 1,,, 2,,, 3,,,,”

your smile is lopsided and your eye is twitched, while he still looks pretty and perfect–

“hey, you gotta look at the camera, not at me,” he teases suddenly, making eye contact through the screen. he’s smiling with his head tilted; so close to leaning it against yours.

“uhm!” you let out a laugh, shutting your eyes tight, “sorry, i’m just like– stupid nervous and you’re like— you’re you” 

jfc– someone PLEASE shut me up

his hand comes up to rub your back and he shakes his head, “i’m just me, haha no worries, let’s take another one”

he pulls you close into his side and you can smell a soft cologne–

“hey, you did it again” he says, playfully pouting. he takes a step away from you, going in front of you. your eyes follow.

you see his thumbs swipe through your phone, and he squints into a wink as he looks at it. you finally take a sip of your drink, cooling you down a little. you laugh, 

“sorry, i dont’ wanna take up too much of your time– what’s there is fine–”

he shrugs looking down, “i have time, it’s ok” then he looks back up, dark eyes and crazy brow, “’wanna make sure everyone thinks we look good together”

uhm ???

you laugh, he’s a lot easier to talk to than you thought, suddenly talking about the weather and asking you what your plans were to do today. he comes back to your side, taking your drink and setting it down, and sliding his hand across the small of your back,

“smile, babe”

you smile brightly, your cheek brushing against his for a moment as  your screen flashes white for a second. he brings the phone back and you look at the picture together.

tom tries to tease,

“hey, you’re just looking at me again!”

but then you notice, that in the picture his face is turned towards you, eyes twinkling and lips lifted–

“no i’m not, you’re the one thats–”

you laugh breezily, bumping into his shoulder and looking up.

tom holland is standing in front of you, stupid dopey smile and all, with his face flushed a pale pink. his doe eyes are trained on you.

“spider-man?” the barista cuts in, calling him back for his drink. tom blinks, turning around and back to you.

reality sinks in and you remember that you’re borrowing his time, so you blink and step back. you smile  gratefully, “hey, thank you so much, it was so nice to meet you and–”

he puts up a finger, making a face, “one second, please.”

you nod almost robotically. watching him walk to the counter, sauntering actually. his friends give him some solid pats on the back, and pushes him back to you. 

“hey, hey!” he snaps at them hunching his shoulders up, before timidly(???!) coming back to you, “hey, you.”

you can’t stop smiling, “hey, you.”

tom lifts the coffee close to his lips, eyes darting to the side, “so– i dont’ actually have much time right now–”

oh,

“but i do.. a bit later. and i’m just wondering if you had some time, later, to you know. take a picture we can show everybody.”

??

“show everybody?” you hum, sipping your coffee to mirror him, “what?” 

you could barely swallow that sip.

but it’s a good thing you did cos

“yeah, i’d like to capture a pic of you as beautifully as i see you, to show the world the person who stole my heart at starbucks”

you woulda spat that shit right out

[holocene-days]

hey jemma, would really love some tips about how you've been figuring yourself out, would love to get to that place but difficult to know where to start

ahh hi! 

i should probably preface this by saying that this has been a hella long process that’s taken place over the past 2 years. 

a lot of this post is gonna be me talking about my experiences bc i’m not really good at the whole second person advice thing. so i hope this is helpful in some way!! also lol sorry this got really long, i just had lots of thoughts 

*tw mention of eating disorders, nothing too in depth but just like talk about anorexia and such things*

i kinda started this journey in fall of 2017 when i realized i had lost myself and was struggling severely with an eating disorder and went to see the therapist at my uni who specializes in eating disorders. she diagnosed me with anorexia which was like a major wake up call and i was like jfc who am i what am i doing to myself how did i get this way. i had lost over 20 pounds and was completely focused on how i looked and i felt so out of control of my life and my desires and ambitions that i coped with it through controlling my weight and how i looked. long story short, saw this therapist through fall of 2017 and at the beginning of december had a breakthrough, which was when i said “i don’t want to be thin, i want the things i think being thin will get me”, thus the start of my recovery began. 

i then spent 8 months of 2018 studying abroad in london and traveling around europe and met the most amazing people and had some of the best experiences of my life (shout out to my girls matilde @timobeechalamet and megan @blxckisthecolor) and because i was so focused on traveling and school i didn’t really have any sense of self, which actually was quite beneficial because i was trying to recover from this traumatic thing and the distraction of travel and school were very helpful.

went back to the states in dec and graduated from uni this may. spent my last semester focused on myself and finishing my degree and spending lots of time with my friends. and here’s where i really started to work on myself.

i’ve always had lots of anxiety around school and perfection (which is why i initially started seeing a therapist 4 years ago) and it took me a lil while but i’ve realized that i don’t feel these kinds of pressures anymore because i’m out of this environment which was stifling and stressful, i’m able to be myself more. which brings us up to the present day where i now feel like i have the time and comfortable environment to enjoy myself and explore new things.

1. focus on your passions. what do you love? what do you love to do? are there classes you can take to learn more? books you can read? my big love is acting so i got a degree in it and then went to LA this summer for a month and a half to go to a film acting school and through that program learned SO much about what i want from myself as an artist. i watch lots of movies and series. find way to incorporate what you love into your daily life. take just 30 minutes for it and just focus on it. i find that keeping a tag on here of things that inspire me artistically can be really helpful bc if i’m ever feeling uninspired or stuck i can go back and look through the posts and get mentally back on track with my passion.

2. writing. i’ve been keeping a journal since i was about 15. i don’t really make diary entries in it but i love lists and making lists about concepts or themes or aesthetics. i recently made a list of all of my favorite meals this way in case i don’t know what to make, i have a basis to go back to of things i know my body loves. some nights i just come up with an idea and i take out my journal and just write and don’t edit myself. just keep the ideas going. no detail is too small. it’s just really nice to have a place with all my thoughts and ideas and feelings. writing is really cathartic for me. 

3. bullet journaling. my bullet journal is separate from my other journal and in it i keep my month and mind in check. i draw out each month and write down thoughts and goals of things i want to do for the month. i have pages about the law of attraction and new things i want to try and quotes about acting and being an artist. it’s such a great way for me to customize my life in a sense and have a book of my current life and thoughts to refer to.

4. your space. i am that girl who always has clothes on her bedroom floor, and everything is typically very messy. but that shit stresses me out so much. and so in an effort to try to have more peace in my life, i’m trying to do better about it. literally yesterday i deep cleaned and redecorated half of my bedroom and put in a bookshelf from my dad’s office and put lots of plants and books on it and wow it really transformed my room. it was SUCH a simple thing that took like an hour but really changed the whole vibe of my room. your room is you lil home in ur apartment or house and it needs to be your happy, chill space where you feel comfortable. putting in effort in your room seriously changes so much about your mental attitude. i’m trying to get in the habit of making my bed each morning and it’s been v helpful!!

5. ya body. i think taking care of your body is so incredibly important in your self discovery journey because it affects how your brain works and your outlook on yourself and the greater world. bc of my ed my sense of body has been real fucked for so long (i’m talking like 10 years :))))) ). here’s how i got to a better place with it 1. lots of therapy lol. 2. reminding myself that my body is a living, breathing animal that requires food to function and movement to feel good. breaking the idea of movement (i.e. working out) away from the idea of being skinny has been hard but intensely helpful and effective in the way i view my body. i focus on movement. not working out, not burning calories. things like walking, biking, dancing, ice skating are all physical activities i really enjoy that don’t feel like working out. food is a whole other beast. i totally still struggle with food sometimes but it’s getting better. i’ve been focusing a lot on intuitive eating over the past couple months (these posts by @heavyweightheart have been so incredibly helpful in teaching me about this) and that food list i made a few days ago is also really helpful. my advice would be eat what feels good to your body and makes you have energy and feel good. stay active in your life and move in ways that also feel good. the more i take care of my body, the better my mind feels and the more in touch with myself i am.

6. back off instagram. that shit is... not great. i mean, it def has its moments (and memes) but overall i just feel like insta is a place where people post photos of their “perfect life moments” and want their friends to validate it. and then there’s all those influencers on there and so many insta stories and it’s just really overwhelming. if you really like instagram and don’t feel like it’s anxiety inducing then def keep it! but also know that it’s okay to step back from it for a lil bit. it really helped me to feel more present and not continuously compare myself to others and feel a need to post if a cool thing happened. it’s been nice to be more private and keep things for myself. 

7. patience. remembering that things take time and what you want is achievable you just have to keep goings. try new things. change your approach, allow yourself to fail. learn from the failure and do better next time. 

8. kindness. towards yourself and others. really putting in the effort to be kind to people in your everyday life makes SUCH a difference and really brightens their day and yours as well. putting out good vibes brings back good vibes, which then allows you to feel better about yourself and more in tune with others around you.

i’m going to stop this here bc this is so fucking long at this point lol i’m so sorry for that but i hope some of this was helpful pls let me know!!

[shiredwarf]

24 hours later: i'm still outraged as ever & i've found a couple of new things to be outraged about that i somehow just missed yesterday. which is understandable. hard to keep track of all the fuck ups!

what was the point of euron fighting jaime? also how did they even end up together? that was another case of characters just conveniently appearing at the right time at the right location (which is like euron’s mine character trait at this point: randomly showing up without any real reason just to fuck shit up in the most annoying way possible). Also: why didn't Jaime just go for this route the first time around?! he might have even made it in time. why is euron so obsessed with killing jaime? why is euron in general? what's his point? was he ever meant to be anything but a cheap plot device? everyone deserved better than this

the fact that the unsullied officers just left tyrion with jaime no questions asked is probably the dumbest moment of the entire episode. dany has often and loudly questions tyrion's loyalty but nothing suspicious about tyrion (THE HAND OF THE QUEEN) wanting to stand guard outside the tent and sending everyone else away. like what's he gonna do? free the person he clearly loves most in the world with a key that just magically appeared in his hand while davos somehow sneaks past the entire greyjoy fleet to leave a boat at the foot of the red keep? naaah (how did davos get back from there btw? did he tow another boat? was he not alone? why am i even trying to make sense of this we all know this plot was written on a piece of toilet paper)

and what's with dany never learning of jaime's escape?! someone must have checked on such a high profile prisoner in the morning? someone must have noticed and told dany who just hours ago threatened tyrion with death should he ever betray her. why did noone come up with the idea to use jaime as a hostage??? but guess everyone just forgot about him, just like the writers forgot about his arc :))))))))))))))))))

where did all the dothraki come from? why are there still so many unsullied left? it sure looked like 90% of them died in winterfell. then we see a significant number in episode five and in the trailer for episode 6 it looks like thousands??? do they just respawn? are we following video game logic now? (btw remember when soldiers had actual personalities? when was the last time an unsullied beside grey worm or a dothraki did anything to remind us they're more than npcs. what do they think about all of this? what did they think about the army of the dead? how are they coping? why was everyone suddenly ok with senseless violence against children even though dany has been saying for years she doesn't want that. yeah sure, she started the kings landing BBQ but she was in a completely different part of the city. there was no way for the foot soldier to know that she was indeed butchering civilians and not just wiping out the last remainders of the lannister forces that hadn't put down their weapons. i’m glad though that they all apparently learned to communicate with each other telepathically otherwise they would be as freaking lost as me rn

one thing the books and previous seasons have been really good at is small little world-building elements that pay off later. and they could have used that in season 8! there wasn't any need to introduce new stuff they could have just used what's already there. they did well on that account with lyanna, jorah and theon. Theon probably had the best arc this season tbh (not a tough competition but it's something) and died a stark and a greyjoy. His identity was the major theme of his journey and seeing it played out this way was satisfying! Lyanna and Jorah both embodied "Here We Stand" in their final moments (Jorah quite literally) and that was wonderful! Why couldn't we get something like this for the Lannisters? Why couldn't we get one final, brilliant scene with cersei trying to turn the tide (backup plan? never heard of it). Don't get me wrong, Lena's acting was fantastic but why couldn't we get a "Hear me roar" moment? Her arc was tide to house Lannister more than any other and yet we didn't get anything? Why didn't we get any rewarding rains of castamere parallels? if they're set on wiping house lannister off the map why not show the tragedy and irony of it. why not remind of us tywin's fantastic speech in season 2? they could have used any of those themes but they didn't???

i'm still not even ready to begin to vocalize my opinions regarding jaime. every time i think about it i can feel my life drain out of me. what a fucking waste you guys

what i can vocalize now however is how much i do hate cersei's end and how they treated lena. I cannot get over that. like i realize she is a villain and i realize she is not meant to be a sympathetic character and she never had a chance to get redemption or get out alive but the show treated her like dirt in the end and just like jaime she was eventually reduced to the incest plotline. she started this show out as someone completely at the mercy of the men in her life (her father, her husband) and while jaime was a big part of her arc her main objective was always throwing off that control and taking it herself. sure she overdid it massively and became power hungry but that power hunger is a direct result of the way she was brought up and everything she was forced into/everything she was denied. weirdly, her conflicts are very similar to brienne's. both women didn't want the roles their peers tried to force them into, both women wanted to escape and both women assumed to do so they would have to take on male traits. brienne did that by rejecting her womanhood completely for 7 seasons and aspiring to be a knight. cersei took a very different route. maybe because she had that option (brienne couldn't mould herself into a proper lady unlike her) or maybe because that was literally her only option (imagine tywin's reaction to cersei putting on armour...). in the years that follow cersei and brienne obviously take very different paths and they have very different personalities but just as brienne deserved her knighthood and the affections and acceptance of the man she loves, cersei would have deserved to be free of men trying to decide her fate for her. but she never was. first it was her father, then robert, then her father again, then the high sparrow and when she finally wiped them all out she had to let another man she despised into her bed to maintain power. brienne managed to escape the confines of male-dominated society forced on her, cersei never did. they could have either shown her finally free before her death, free of the men that tried to control her all her life, free of the power hunger, free of societies expectations or they could have had her face her ugly deeds. i doubt she would have ever regretted any of it but it would have been so much more satisfying to see her properly outsmarted, to see her face off either dany or sansa or jon (or even tyrion or jaime had his character arc not been ruined before that). she was a fantastic, complex villain until she basically just started to stare off into the distance. it would have been so satisfying to see her face reality before the end. Instead, we got rocks. but even that scene (as beautifully as it's acted) isn't satisfying. cersei, who has never been one to just weep helplessly, is first reduced to begging jaime for her life & to save their child (AGAIN WHAT WAS THE POINT! I WILL NEVER GET IT!) and then she keeps freaking out because she doesn't want to die at all and certainly not this way (very self-centred as always whereas jaime is much calmer and at peace with what's about to happen and ready to take care of her even though he’s worse off) . i don't know if this was intentional or just a happy accident but even in those final scenes it's very obvious that the love cersei has for jaime is not the same kind of love jaime has for her. i guess they both ended up wanting to die in each others arms seconds before it happened so there’s that. but it’s a cheap ending for the best actress in the show before they robbed her of all opportunities to shine

oh and lena's instagram combined with her body double’s yet unseen work on the show has now convinced me that we're incredibly likely to see cersei's and jaime's mutilated bodies/heads next week. can't wait to see their characters disrespected on a whole new level jfc i’m so tired

i can't even think about brienne these days. absolutely seething. at this point i would prefer it if the brienne/jaime romance had never happened in ep. 4. if they'd stuck to glances and meaningful gestures at least it would have made more sense. brienne would have been his "what if" when they erased jaime's character development and made him return to cersei (which i maintain could have made sense because no matter what jaime will always love his family no matter how much he also hates them IF ONLY THEY HAD PUT IN THE FUCKING WORK). but she's not a "what if" now is she. she is his "this happened and it was good and important" but we're just going to forget this. we're just going to forget that the last 8 seasons have been leading up to this point. we're gonna forget that for the entire first half of season 8 jaime didn't even flinch at the thought of cersei dying. four episodes of jaime glued to brienne's side and then we're just expected to believe he doesn't care after all. then we're just supposed to believe she is never mentioned again and no thought of her crosses his mind or anyone else's for that matter (looking at you tyrion). I genuinely don't get what the point of that romance was then. to keep jaime in winterfell for a bit longer so him getting captured would make more sense? i feel like there were like a million ways to get the same outcome without throwing brienne under the bus. brienne and her entire arc were used as a cheap plot device for jaime and it wasn't even worth it cause they then butchered jaime's arc. god i'm so angry.

remember the last time a tv show fucked up in the last episode? yeah, dexter!  i'm calling it now: got will end exactly like dexter in terms of plot and level of satisfaction. jon will kill dany (a family member/romantic interest) and then go north to spend his day in the wilderness (lumberjacking away miserably)

the more i think about it there is not a single thing about this episode that actually makes sense. this goes beyond plotholes, this is just a plain hole

[ellieaelious]

Ellie Aelious }{Multiverse OC}{Post Fire Crisis

A/N: Finally complete!!! It was a long road, and took way too long, but it is finally finished! I ended up cutting a lot of things from it that did not have to do with her character, which helped a lot. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to DM me. I’ve been working on her for about fifteen years, and I still don’t have all the kinks worked out, but it’s been a fun road to get here!

This is Ellie after she gains control over the fire realm and the element of fire, all the way through her worlds Armageddon. Ten years pass in the human realm, while over 5,000 pass in the elemental realms. You have the option of choosing what stage of her life you interact with her, or I can toss her at you during a time I believe will best suit our roleplay.

So when you see an x-z that means that depending on the time frame, is dependent on when she looks or acts like X or Z. She will also change and grow in the threads we have.

Credit: Big-Ass Character Sheet by Character-Resources This is going to be what I use from now on for all of my muses, regardless if they are OC or canon. Everyone can get a good idea of them, and it will also help me when it comes to writing, since I won’t have to explain every single thing over and over again.

Verse: Realms series (book series I’m writing) Date: 7/18/2019 Full Name: Ellen Sebastiana O’Donnelly Pronunciation: El-en Sea-bass-tea-ah-na Oh-Don-el-ee Nickname/Alias: Ellie Aelious Meaning: Ellie-Pet form of Ellen or more commonly Eleanor, which itself is of Hebrew origin and comes from the Hebrew element 'el' meaning 'god' and 'or' meaning light, so the name means 'God is my light' or 'God is my candle'. Aelious-The Realmain form of “Aelius” which is a Roman family name which was possibly derived from the Greek word 'ηλιος (helios) meaning "sun".  Origin: Not going to lie. I thought of the name and then the meaning just worked. That’s usually how I pick common names. For other languages, I research them. I seriously thought I made up Aelious, until Google said “Did you mean Aelius. Title: Ruler/Commander, Healer, Priest Pet Name: Aelious is actually a surname and nickname given to her by Cynbel (jfc I gotta do him too). ID Number: AR-24601 Signature: She’s ambidextrous, and before the loss of her left arm was left dominant. She still wrote with her right hand, but her handwriting is very elementary school level. Her robotic prosthetic could write perfectly, however after her arm regrows she is left with a limb that trembles and twitches when she goes to write. It makes her signature almost illegible, and she prefers to initial with her right hand. Gender: Female Gender Role: Very femme and lady like. Orientation: Pansexual/Polyamorous Real Age: Although she was born in 1983, because of the time differences between the human and element realms she is between 137-268 post arm loss, and can be anywhere up to five thousand after her arm regrows. Age Appearance: 21 Birthday: March 10th, 1983 Deathday: Armagaddon, exact date unknown. Birthplace: New York, New York, USA Astrological Sign: Pisces Zodiac Sign: Water Pig Immediate Family:  Legal Guardian: Earnest O’Donnelly (deceased) Mother: Tonalnan (deceased) Father figure: Cynbel Uncle: Dante (DMCverse) Half-Brother: Nero (DMCverse) Adoptive Brother: Peter Jason Quill (GotG) Mother figure: Marina Udonta Distant Family:  Father: Aluk Mal Tuk Grandfather: Shin Kage Grandmother: Eveelyn Ardelian Species: Realmain (I will be posting separately about this race.) Ethnicity: Celtic and Hispanic Blood Type: Formerly O+. She no longer has blood, and instead bleeds a silver liquid. Preferred Hand: Left Facial Type: Diamond Eye Color: Dark brown. White or red when using air and fire abilities respectively. Hair Color: Black Hairstyle: 

Skin Tone: Pale White when using air powers. Dark tan when using fire. Complexion: Clear Makeup: Very light make-up during special occasions. Has started wearing winged eyeliner. Build: Body claim is Samantha Wright

Height: 5′3-5′8 Weight: 538lbs - 598lbs Cup Size: A-C cup Facial Hair: none Shoe Size: US 7 - US 9.5 Birthmarks/scars: A large scar going from her left shoulder, across her chest, and stopping half way to her right. It goes from the base of her neck to the beginning of her cleavage, around to her back. It stops at the nape of her neck and right before her shoulder blades on the left. It’s from when she had her left arm ripped off, along with a good portion of her skin.

After her arm regrows, the scar mostly heals, only leaving a faint outline around her left shoulder.

She has a mole/beauty mark on her left side, right under her bottom lip.

Many faint and small scars pepper her body, visible under a blacklight or bioluminescence given off by plants and insects.

In an alternate timeline, (DmCverse), she has half of her face scarred by an angel’s attack. Her eye is red, and it goes into her hairline, all the way to the back of her head. Distinguishing Features: Her eyes are her most distinguishing feature, able to convey a thousand emotions at once. Because of her empathic ability, if she looks someone else in the eyes, she is not only able to read their emotions, but also alter how they see her.

As she grows older, her eyes convey less innocence, and more of someone who is weary. Although the light has not gone out behind her eyes, it has dimmed significantly from when she first became a ruler.

She always has an innocent appearance about her features, usually appearing dumbfounded by the world around her. It’s not a true reflection of herself, but something that most people see at first glance. Health: She’s very healthy and her diet consists of mostly meat. She works out daily and although she loves sweets, limits them to once a week. Energy: She generates, at the minimum, enough energy to keep two realms and their inhabitants alive. That is around 6-9 billion per realm. This energy is all in reserve, and not accessible for fighting.

Aside from that, in her home dimension she generates enough excess energy to command both air and fire. She is one of the eight strongest beings, aside from angels or demons, and ranks somewhere in the third or forth strongest. Her max power level sees her generating enough energy to destroy a planet the size of her largest realm, twice.

Outside of her dimension, her excess power is diminished by half, and she can only regenerate after sleeping twelve or more hours. Because of this, she uses physical attacks when outside of her own dimension. Memory: Her memories are tied to emotions. The stronger the emotion at the time, the more likely she is to remember the event in detail. She also remembers odd events, like someone mentioning rubberbands. Senses: Her eyesight is well enough she doesn’t need to use a mounted sight on a firearm. She can see for several miles, but cannot see in dim or low lighting.

She can feel vibrations and use them to navigate in the dark as well. This has helped since she began losing her hearing a century ago.

Her sense of smell and taste are better, able to recognize someone’s scent, and develop a taste signature for them as well. This also has the negative affect of smelling something horrible, and also developing a taste signature for it. Fortunately, her nose is not what she breaths out of, so she can avoid this most times.

Her sixth sense, if you will, is extremely high. She can read a persons emotions from the next room, feel the presence of demonic entities, and can hide her own presence from them.

Allergies: Strawberries, birch water, cut grass. Handicaps: 

With her hearing failing, it has been difficult for her to adjust to using vibrations to get around. While she can feel the vibrations of someone talking, she is still not fully able to differentiate between words.

After the loss of her left arm, she suffers from muscle spasms in her left shoulder. Even after her arm regrows, she has painful and powerful muscle spasms. They will often require her to take a moment to collect herself, as she’s almost blacked out from the pain.

Although she’s not mentally slow, because of her time being raised among humans, her actual brain deteriorates whenever she goes back to the human realm. This includes other dimensions that are heavily populated by humans. She will sometimes stare off into the distance or quit speaking, only to act like nothing happened. This is her healing factor attempting to repair the damage.

Highly prone to panic attacks. When she has one, she will find it difficult to breath and begin to disrobe so her lungs can have better access to air. These have lasted up to three days, and she becomes violent when people approach her during them.

She has grotesque visions of hell, and often hears demons whispering in her ear. This can cause her panic attacks, as well as send her into a temporary delirious  state. Dante and Cynbel are the only ones that can calm her down when she gets like this.

Medication: She usually chews on herbs and roots from the nature realm for ailments. She also eats ‘edibles’, a relaxant from the nature realm that has similar properties to marijuana. She eats them in marshmallow form, usually to get high. Phobias: Spiders, water, being alone, the dark, and whispering. Addictions: Salted marshmallows. She will do almost anything for them. Mental Disorders:

Humans call is schizophrenia, while Realmains call it ‘Heaven Sight’. This causes her demonic visions, auditory hallucinations, as well as her anxiety. These have been constant since birth.

She is severally depressed, often on the verge of crying. This is considered a serious mental disorder caused by her high empathy. There is no way to treat it, other than developing apathy.

Style: Ellie’s style is very modest. While nudity is common in the realms, and she is comfortable with it, she covers up completely when outside of her realm. Her military uniform changes, but usually consists of vests, cargo pants, and military boots.

Her formal attire as a ruler ranges from ancient Grecian/Roman robes, to something akin to Elvish dress. It’s the few times she wears dresses anymore.

When she is having a casual day, it’s leggings/jeans and a loose fitting shirt. She does enjoy dressing in flowing garments, and does have a personal tailor that designs her clothing to wear outside of the nine realms. In her later years, she wears more fun things, and sometimes will be seen in her brother’s hoodie and booty shorts if she’s woken up suddenly.

All of her military clothes are white, while her casual clothing changes in color. She does not wear black, as it’s against her vows as a sacred virgin. Grooming: Her hair is always well maintained and braided, only becoming messy in battle. Even then, she is quick to fix it.

After an encounter with a demonic entity later in life, she has kept her hair cut very short, only a few inches long. When questioned about it, she will change the subject immediately.

 As far as other hair goes, because she does not produce pheromones the same way as other mammals, she has little to no body hair to worry about. Posture: Her posture if usually back straight, chest out, chin up, and hands on her hips or crossed. If she is in a more relaxed setting, or not trying to be intimidating, she will let her hip cock to the side and slouch just a bit.

When frightened, she will hunker down and cower, making herself as small as possible.

Gait: She can’t help but have a very bouncy way of walking. Because she is usually just barely levitating off the ground, her motion is very fluid and swaying.

When approaching an enemy or upset, she will have a stalking manner of movement. Her shoulders will be forward, her steps heavy and deliberate, and fists clenched. Coordination: When in a fighting mindset, her reflexes and coordination are topnotch. Very little will get by her, and she is able to dodge bullets, as well as deflect them back to her opponent. It’s taken her almost two hundred years to perfect.

Outside of battle, she has tripped over her own feet. While levitating. She’s merely easily distracted, and doesn’t pay attention to her surroundings unless she has to. Habits and Mannerisms: 

Left over from when her time without her arm, she will often let her left arm fall slack, forgetting it’s her own. This will cause her to bump into things with it.

She wrings her fingers a lot when she is nervous, and bites her bottom lip.

When she is focused on a task, or trying to decipher something, she will whisper to herself, along with moving her fingers like she is slowly typing in the air.

When frightened, she will immediately bite her lips and make her eyes wider. It’s instinctive to attempt to bring out the nurturing side of whoever is frightening her.

She has a habit of lightly touching people without realizing it. It’s often confused for flirting, but it’s only because she is touch starved.

She will pull out a book and read when she feels she is being ignored, purposely ignoring the other when they try to get her attention.

Scent: Spring Jasmine by Wild Spirit Mood: Contemplative is her usual mood when you catch her off guard. She has a lot on her mind, and not a lot of time to herself. She acts happy around others, smiling and laughing, but it’s only because she is replaying old emotions to make other feels better. She is no longer ignorant to the world, and has seen and experienced the darkness it holds. It weighs on her heavily and makes her very tired.

Being an empath, her mood is also determined by those around her. If you’re mad, she’ll be mad. If you’re being rude, she will reflect it back on you. Although she is kind at the core, she will stand up for herself and give you a taste of your own personality. Attitude: She has a very positive and upbeat attitude, despite her circumstances. She always tries to get people to be happy and rally the troops.

She can and does do a 180, and will become angry, and ho boy, whoever is on the receiving end is in for it. She has been called merciless and monstrous in her rage. Stability: Her emotional spectrum is all over the place. As the strongest empath of her world, she is able to feel the emotions of every living thing all at once. As a child, it caused her attempted suicide. And while she has learned to cope, it does become overwhelming.

Her personal emotions can also be affected by someone else. This means, feelings of love may not always be hers. Expressiveness: She is always very open with how she feels. If she is choosing to be distant with someone, it’s a bad sign. When Happy: She will often hum a tune, usually a soft cover of a metal band. She may even do Tai Chi moves or spin if she’s really happy. When Depressed: She’s always in some form of depression, but at it’s worst she will hide herself away to cry in peace. If she does manage to break down in front of someone, it can make her feel worse. Although she no longer cuts herself, she is not above ramming her head into the ground in an attempt to knock herself out. When Angry: When she becomes angry, she will become quiet and stiff. Her movements are quick and deliberate. She is at her most dangerous when angry or upset. Current Residence: She resides in the air realm, but does spend time in the fire realm as she is now the ruler of it as well. Community: The air realms community is very calm and peaceful. Even the soldiers are seen smiling as they go about their day.As their main duty is to pray and rally the troops, it is a very calming place to be.

The fire realm is friendly, but they value feats of strength and often friends will spar in the streets. It’s all in good fun, but takes some getting used to. Family: Ellie’s only living family is adoptive or half related to her. She spends most of her time with either Cynbel or Marina, and then Dante and Nero. Friends: Beau is her best friend, and it’s rare to not see them running around together.

After going through training with Ansinna, she has become best friends with her, and appointed her as a personal guard. Enemies: Her father, demonic creatures, and those who would hurt the innocent. Bosses: She is her own boss, answering to no one but a higher ranking angel or the Lord. Followers: All inhabitants of her realms and army answer to her. Heroes: Marina, being a strong woman is one of her idols. Most of the women in her life she aspires to be like. Aside from that, mentors from other dimensions. Rivals: Her Dark Saer alternate, as well as the demon Heretic. Pets/Familiars: The last chimera of her dimension, and she managed to tame it with a stick of beef jerky. It’s a shape shifter, and is usually in the form of a snake with rabbit ears. It wraps loosely around her neck, or takes residence in her cleavage. Equipment:

Weapons-Air

Ellie’s main weapon is a grey staffed naginata. It has a wider blade on one end, and her dagger bladed fan on the other. She is able to separate it at the middle for two weapons. It is an extension of her soul, and so long as she has the will to live and fight, it is unbreakable and unable to be wielded by any other. When another does decide to wield it, they will begin to gasp for breath before the oxygen is pulled from their body.

For a time she used one of her mother’s desert eagles. After an understanding came about between Nero and herself, she let it fall into the lake of fire. After this, Dante had her customized guns like his made. She calls them Alpha and Omega. Over time, Dante has taught her trick shots, and her and Nero perform a similar move to ‘Jackpot’ called ‘Fragmented Reality’.

Her custom lever action rifle has a white body with silver, Celtic knot accents. The bullets fired are made by gathering matter, which means the farther the bullet travels, the bigger is becomes. It’s her preferred form of firearm, however she is only accurate within her line of sight. If an enemy is behind her, she is unable to accurately fire at them. Because she shoots from the left, the recoil to her shoulder makes her have to take frequent breaks.

She is trained in a wide variety of weapons, but refuses to use swords. She is also trained to use unconventional weapons, such as household items and the environment.

Weapons-Fire

When she’s finally able to control her fire abilities, her naginata reverts back to her bladed fan. She uses it for defense mostly, relying on her other fire based weapon for offense.

The chain whip allows her to keep enemies at a distance, and control their movement. Should one get too close, she will wrap her whip around them, activating the blades and using it as a medieval styled chainsaw.

Her guns are named vitam et mortem (life and death in Latin) while in her fire form. Vitam has the ability to raise an ally back from near death, while mortem can kill with a single shot.

Her rifle turns into a Day of the Dead themed lever action shotgun called Vespillo (Latin for Undertaker).

Technology-

The nine realms are far more technologically advanced than most other worlds. As such, she has some very useful equipment. One of which is her visor (I will provide references later). It’s a thin piece of crystal that forms across her eyes that acts to protect them, as well as provide an HUD with her stats, as well as information about the area around her. It’s linked to three micro bots that float around the area, allowing her to enter into a third person mode.

Later in life, the visor is replaced by contact lenses that connect through micro wires into the user’s nervous system. This allows the user to non-verbally control what they are seeing, and switch between 1st person, 3rd person, night vision, and HUD.

Before her arm grew back, she had a robotic prosthetic. While it mimicked the look and feel of her original arm, it was still traumatic to use. It was able to detach and move independently to scout an area, attack, and shock an enemy.

If she’s not using her visor or contacts, she does use her IDA. Inter-Dimensional Assistant. It’s a small piece of crystal that holds a super computer, and is wired to her home dimensions mainframe. She’s able to make phonecalls, hack into systems, give someone a physical, X-Ray, produce holograms, and all kinds of neat Sci-Fi stuff.

Recently, after discovering their enemy has been using habitable planets to farm humans, space ships have become a thing. She’s still hesitant about using them, but her current vehicle is able to use collapsible technology to change into a fighter jet, or a short flight space ship.

Accessories:

Tattoos-

On her left arm, after it grows back, is a faint purple outline of her veins.

On her right arm, after retrieving the crown of thorns, it wrapped around her right forearm and embedded into her skin as a tattoo.

Her legs are tattooed with a black background encasing Celtic knots on her left, and Mayan ruins on her right.

Her back has a cross burned into it, going from the base of her neck to her tailbone.

Lastly, on her chest is a black hand print from her mother marking her, over her heart.

Piercings- Only one in each ear.

Trinkets: Star of David necklace and cross earrings. Will occasionally wear bracelets during formal events. Funds: Money has no value in the nine realms. However, the fire realm has diamond rain whenever a volcano erupts, and any gold farmed is used for trade with humans. Her actual wealth, like all other rulers, is immeasurable. She enjoys giving it away, as she does not like the idea of money. Lovers: 

The former ruler of water, Mick, was her first crush. She loved him deeply, and had to hold him in her arms as he died. This pretty much scarred her from developing feelings for men.

Right before the death of her first love, she agreed to marry someone for a peace treaty. After the wedding, she locked herself away and protected herself with a powerful storm. A clone of her was used to kill Mick, and afterwards a very bloody and very quick war broke out, involving the death of her husband.

Cetrion is a former lover. Because of their virtuous nature they both found comfort in each other. It was broken off by Cetrion at the behest of Kronika. It still hurts Ellie deeply.

She has a crush on Leon S. Kennedy, and chooses to stay away from him because of it.

Erron Black gives her confusing feelings. She isn’t sure if she likes him, or wants to shoot him.

Enchantress/June Moone. A former girlfriend while Ellie was coming into power. Although she loved her, the relationship was not good mentally for Ellie and she broke it off.

Jason Todd was a mentor turned boyfriend for a few weeks, before they both realized it wouldn’t work. They are still friends.

Marital Status: Multiship Sex Life: SACRED.VIRGIN. (But I mean...boop her) Type: She is accepting of many types, so long as you are not a bad person. Even then, if you redeem yourself, she can find you suitable. This is not to say she will only date a hero type. She wants someone that is true to themselves, whatever that truth may be.

She is very busy, and will not have time for you 24/7. If she is called off on a mission, it doesn’t matter if you’re cuddling on the couch, on a date, or anything else. Her duty comes first. She won’t want to leave, but she will and apologize later. Her lover needs to be understanding of this.

It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, but this is her lifes work. This is what she was created and chosen for. And when the final battle comes, you won’t see her for a long time, if ever again. Turn-Ons: She wants someone that she won’t have to worry about as much. It’s hard to love mortals, so someone that could live as long as her would be preferred. She doesn’t want someone that will worship her, as that can be seen as breaking the commandments of the nine realms, but will appreciate her. They need to be understanding that she is a broken person and not all of her pieces are there, and they’re not coming back.

If she can lay with you while you play with her hair, rub her back, and just be physically there to tether her to the world, it will mean everything to her.

Lastly, someone that will just be kind to her. That she can come home to after a long week, month or some extended period of time and be close to. She doesn’t need anyone that will get tired of waiting for her and leave, as her duties will always come first. Turn Offs: Someone that is cruel to her or others. Disrespectful, tries to change who or what she is. Just don’t be a moist bint. Position: Switch. Sub in her human form, dom in her true form Sub position: The Seashell. She loves to be on her back with her lover’s hands wrapped around her ankles, pushing them back behind her head and into the mattress. Dom position: The Amazon. With a set of hands holding her lover’s knees or ankles, another hand hold their wrists together above their head, and her free hand to explore or choke them. Fetishes: Human Form-

Reassurance/Praising. Either her reassuring her partner or vice versa. Punishment/Desecration. She has a deep seeded desire to be punished, and a dark part of her wants to be desecrated (i.e. her willingly breaking her vow). Biting/Clawing/Marking. Choking. Since she doesn’t have an air passage in her throat, it’s more or less the idea of it. Blood flow can still be cut off to her brain, giving the desired light headed effect. Submissive positions. She enjoys being put into submissive potions over ones where she is the dominate party. Voyeurism. She can turn and her partner invisible, allowing for public places to be a go. She also likes to be watched, and wouldn’t mind if her lover caught her playing with herself.

True form- Breeding. Her main motive is to become impregnated. She’ll want you to finish inside of her. Restrains. Having four arms now, she will want to pin and restrain her partner. Marking. She will bite, claw, suck, anything she can to prove that you are her’s alone. Dominated. Despite being the dominate one, if she is dominated in battle, she will present herself on her knees with her hands held above her head, butt raised to show she submits. Virginity: She still is one. 

Element: Air and Fire. Religion: Realmain, a mix of Christianity and Judaism. Morals: Ellie is a morally upstanding citizen, for her dimension. While her duty is to protect the sanctity of human life, she will kill those that seem innocent if she is ordered to. One of the messier jobs to perform is killing children that are blacklit for death. Because this is seen as holy work, she feels no guilt for it.

She is unable to willfully lie, but whatever someone tells her, unless she knows better, will be her truth. This causes her to be easily manipulated.

While stealing is a huge no, reclaiming lost or stolen goods is acceptable. By any means.

Outside of her dimension, humans are not protected. If it means obtaining her goal or completing her mission, she can and will kill an innocent person. This is only done as a last resort, and she does her best to avoid it. Motivation: From the time she learned of the prophecy, her goal in life has been to lead the virtuous life that would allow her to pass into the dark halls unseen by evil. She knows that she will go through horrible things (such as being raped, crucified, tortured and killed, only to be brought back) but in the end it is worth it. This will allow her to let the angels into the dark halls, and kill Aluk Mal Tuk, the half demon half Realmain that raped her mother. Priorities: The code of the realms is “For Realm, For Ruler, For God” and she lives by this code. She serves her God first, and the duties bestowed upon her by Him, and then her Realm. Relationships, friendships, and anything else are the last thought on her mind.  Philosophy: Ellie sees and feels the absolute worst that humanity has to offer. She feels the suffering of the universe, and takes pity on it. She believes that everything has a reason, even the worst things. In the end, it will all be worth it. Because it has to be, or what was all this suffering for. Etiquette: Ellie has very good etiquette. She was trained by Cynbel in the ways of royalty, and displays respect to almost all races. The more evil races, she will act more animalistic around, since they look down on kindness. Culture: Being from a Hispanic and Celtic background, Ellie enjoys celebrating the holidays and festivals of both. Within reason. She does not practice anything that would be considered idol worship. She practices mostly Jewish and Realmain customs as well.

Main Goal: Keep the world turning until Armageddon is upon her dimension. Even if it kills her. Minor Goals/Ambitions: Protect as many lives, human or otherwise, as she can. Desires: Ellie desires rest. She does not enjoy doing what she does by any means. It causes her great mental anguish to keep pushing herself, but she has to. For her reward, she only wishes to rest. Accomplishments: Freeing herself from her inner darkness, and having her left arm regrow as a reward. Greatest Achievement: Commanding both the fire and air realms. Biggest Failure: Her mother and first love had to die in order for her to begin to fight and defend others. Secrets: She is aware that Cynbel is her father. And while she was upset that he hides this from her, she doesn’t mention it. Regrets: Her suicide attempts. Worries: Failing everyone around her. Best Dream:  Being rewarded not just with rest, but someone that could make her happy. Worst Nightmare: Falling into temptations and being pulled into hell. Or living with her mother. Best Memories: The times she spent with Mick and her friends. Worst Memories: Having her arm ripped off during the battle for Hong Kong. Later in life, when the demon Heretic reveals they molested her, and the memories of the events come flooding back to her. Powers/Abilities: ~Generic/No category~ -Immortality. She can only be killed by a demi god, angel, or another ruler’s weapon. If she dies by other means, she will be reformed in the lake of life. -Super strength. She is able to lift up to ten tons with ease. Anything more and her muscles begin to break down. -Speed. Although not the fastest, she is able to move fast enough to dodge bullets. -Super reflexes. She can block most blows and react quickly to most attacks. -Stamina. Her body does not produce lactic acid, meaning she does not show signs of fatigue and has stamina for weeks. -Her senses are heightened to super human levels, allowing her to perform at her highest levels. -Empathy. She is the strongest empath of her world, emotionally connected to all living beings. She is able to take the emotions away from a being and put them in another, or store them for future use. She can easily read a room and someone’s intent before officially meeting them. She can also distribute and terrifying presence to stun and scare opponents, or produce a calming affect. -A healer by nature, she is a skilled surgeon with years of practice. With her speed, she is able to perform complex operations in little to no time. -She has a vast knowledge of herbal remedies, as well as traditional medicines. -She is immune to all forms of magic, but she herself cannot affect magic things in return. ~Air~ -Ability to completely control and manipulate the air. From creating tornado, to pulling the air out of the cells of a person. She is the embodiment of air, and it bends to her will. -Turn invisible at will. -Teleport by creating a small gust of wind. -Pull oxygen out of a specified area. -Flight and levitation. -Control other air based beings -Place her hand over someone’s mouth to administer CPR. ~Fire~ -Ability to control and manipulate fire and fire based things. Such as lava. -Encase her body is magma rock. -Breath fire. -Engulf her body in fire to protect her. -Command other fire based beings. -Generate enough heat to perform a super nova. Although not as hot, she will explode with enough intensity to destroy a decently sized planet. This causes her to black out for several weeks. -Heal those that have been injured by fire. She can take the wounds upon herself, allowing the person to be completely healed of fire based wounds. ~Holy~ -On touch, she can burn anything of demonic origin. This includes her brother and uncle, who are both part demon. -Using her right hand to calm the person, she can then use her left to reach into someone and pull a demon out by force. -Ability to see a demonic presence, no matter how it hides. She can also see angelic writing, directing her to hide or run. -Enter Limbo and Hell unseen. -Open portals to send demons back to hell. -While imbued with the power of the Lord, no one may sin against her flesh. This means that as long as she has her powers, she is unable to be raped or molested. -Light does not bother her. In fact, she can see perfectly fine in it. If a flash bang were to go off, other than the noise distortion, she would be fine. Origin: Bestowed upon her by the will of the Lord. Her dimension is Christianity based. Source: The source of her powers vary. While she can use hand movements, she mostly stands still and wills her abilities into use. Although some still require a source, i.e. breathing fire. Ability: While her abilities to control air is natural, it took centuries of training to finally accept and control her fire abilities. Later in life, she is adept in all of her powers. Weaknesses:

She is unable to survive in water. If it goes above her hips, she will begin to drown. Her powers do not work while she is wet, in the rain, or humid environments.

Her empath abilities become overwhelming, and it makes it hard for her to function in large groups. The more evil a person is, the harder it is for her to function around them.

While in other dimensions, she is able to die, since she is cut off from her main power source.

If someone drop kicks her in the gut, it will stun her for an extended period of time.

Demi god weapons, angelic weapons, fallen angel weapons, and another ruler are able to permanently kill her.

She cannot see in dim light to darkness. She will be completely blind, and greatly weakened.

Her hellish visions weaken her over time.

Despite feeling someone’s ill intent, she is usually willing to give them a chance.

Immunities: Fire and air based attacks have no affect on her.

Alternate Forms: ~Air Form~ Natural Ellie. This is the form she is always in, also referred to as her human form. She has a more Celtic appearance, pale skin, red lips, dark hair and eyes.

~Fire Form~ Taking on a more Hispanic appearance, her eyes are red, skin a deep tan from being burnt from within, and her hair sprouts red roses. Her attire changes as well, wearing a red cloth corset, dark red jeans and boots, and usually Dia de la muerto make-up. The more she uses her powers, her skin will burn to a crisp, cracking open and revealing the fire burning at her core. She will often have smoke coming from her pores, and cough up lava.

~True Form~ After entering her final life cycle, she gains her true form ability to mate/reproduce. Her skin becomes a light grey, her veins visible and a dark silver underneath. She grows another five inches, and her arms become longer. Her nails are black and pointed, coated in a paralyzing poison.

Her face is more pointed, teeth now sharp and look like they’re made of a silver metal. Her eyes are a swirling mix of greys and white, hair slicked back and bristly. Black and fluffy antenna come from her forehead, like a moth. Black stripes are along her sides and neck, opening up to reveal pheromone producers.

She grows another set of arms under her original, usually holding her staff weapon.

Extra Anatomy: Her lungs are actually pockets attached to the underside of the skin of her torso and back. This means that she breaths through the pores of her skin.

Favorite Colors: Greys, whites, and pastel shades of blue and pink Favorite Animals: Dogs and large wild cats Favorite Mythological Creatures: Chimeras Favorite Places: She has a pocket dimension that is a library, filled with endless books. Other than that, Greece and quiet beaches. Favorite Landmarks: Acropolis Favorite Flavors: Leather, sea salt, and cotton candy Favorite Foods: Shrimp mee hoon and salted marshmellows Favorite Drinks: Blackberry wine, coke, and sarsaparilla. Favorite Characters: Mal and Zoe from Firefly Favorite Genre: Romantic horror Favorite Books: Where the red fern grows Favorite Movies:  Westerns Favorite Games: Chess, even though she’s not that great at it. Dodge ball. Favorite Shows: Firefly, Star Trek, Telanovellas. Favorite Music: Heavy metal, hard rock, classical. Favorite Bands: Asking Alexandria, All That Remains, In this Moment, Flyleaf, and Les Fiction. Favorite Songs: This probably won’t end well by All That Remains, Hopelessly Hopeful by Asking Alexandria, ME!ME!ME! by Teddyloid Favorite Sports: Soccer and the Realmain gauntlet. Favorite Stores: Realmain market places Favorite Subjects: Math and art Favorite Numbers: 100, 34, and 7 Favorite Websites: Doesn’t have any Favorite Words: Bueller, bumble bee, amor Favorite Quotations:  "Lastly, waging war against good people is bad for the soul. This may not seem important to you now, but it's the most important thing I've said."— Joshua Graham Least Favorite Colors: Oranges and yellows. Least Favorite Animals: Domestic cats Least Favorite Mythological Creatures: Nagas, gorgons, Minotaurs, and Pans. Least Favorite Places: Anyplace with a dark history. Least Favorite Landmarks: Eiffel tower Least Favorite Flavors: Fermented tastes, rotten, too sweet. Least Favorite Foods: Eggs, liver, and hot dogs. Least Favorite Drinks: Beer, whiskey, lemon lime soda. Least Favorite Characters: Aeris from FFVII. Any character, male or female, that is overbearing about relationships and tries to force themselves on someone. Least Favorite Genre: Reality Least Favorite Books: Self help books Least Favorite Movies:  Ninja Mime 4 Least Favorite Games: Puzzle games, because she’s not confident in her abilities. Least Favorite Shows: Reality shows Least Favorite Music: Rap/Hip Hop, R&B Least Favorite Bands: Modern hip hop and rap bands. Least Favorite Songs: Dance (A$$) because it’s always playing at strip clubs Least Favorite Sports: Cricket and blood sports. Least Favorite Stores: Outlet malls Least Favorite Subjects: Wood shop, economics. Least Favorite Numbers: 6 Least Favorite Websites: Doesn’t have one. Least Favorite Words: Curse words Least Favorite Quotations:  “I’ll rid the world of each one of you,” he whispered. “Every single one…” ― Zoe Cruz, Beastia Languages: English, fairly good with Mandarin, Greek, Enochian/Realmain, learning Japanese, Yiddish. Accent: She has a heavy Southern accent when she speaks quickly, which is why she’s trained herself to speak slowly and hide her accent. Voice: Low and quiet Speech Impediments: Forgets words easily and will use gibberish as a replacement. Greetings and Farewells:  “Give me you.” -When it’s a close friend she hasn’t seen for a while. “Ellie Aelious, rank ruler, part time healer.” -Military greeting “May your path be illuminated and never darken.” -Formal farewell “I really hope this isn’t a real goodbye, ya know?” -leaving a dimension, possibly for good. State of Mind: “I’m just really tired right now. I can’t really rest, but it’d be really nice if I could.” Compliment: “Wow, you’re really pretty/beautiful!” “You look like you could take me in a fight, to be honest.” “You’re tall. I like that.” Insult: “I hope you have the life you deserve.” “God loves you, even though you make it a might difficult.” “You’re an X.” (often randomly insults people with a noun they’ve just used.) Expletive: “Oh fiddle sticks.” “Gumdrops and holograms!” “God bless America...” “What in the nine realms!” “I’m sure -person- is off somewhere, disappointing the Lord with their actions.” Laughter: She will start with a sputter, and then go into a deep laugh, sometimes even snorting, which makes her laugh even harder. Tag Line: “This is fine. I accept this.” Signature Quote: “I have to do this. I need to do this. I can’t worry about either of our wants, desires, because this is so important. My entire life is leading up to that moment, and I’m not throwing it away because we love each other. If I do, then what was all this suffering for?”

Role: Her role as a ruler means that she is responsible for tens of billions of lives, as well as protecting humans from the evils of the realm of darkness. It is a heavy burden, but if one is to suffer it, why not it be her? Fulfillment: She devotes everything to her position, and has found favor in the eyes of the Lord. She has been blessed that no creature may sin against her flesh, so long as she is imbued with His power. Significance: Because she practices self sacrifice, in her words Armageddon, she will play a crucial role that will determine the outcome of the battle. Aside from that, she has inspired many of her counterparts to go on. Her determination to live and overcome has proved invaluable. Alignment: Lawful Good “The needs of my Lord, outweigh the desires of myself.” -Ellie Comparison: The wind. Ever changing, gentle, but destructive. Symbol: Handprint Song: Under Denver by Asking Alexandria Vice: Carnal desires and blood lust. Virtue: Ellie has taken the vow of Sacred Virgin. This means she will forgo her sexual desires, romances, and pleasure so she may enter into the dark kingdom unseen

Humility and compassion are often associated with her as well. She doesn’t feel she has a very important role, and takes pity on the suffering. Defining Moment: When she crawled her way out of hell, just to bring her mother’s dead body back for burial.

[stephanidftba]

Kiradax "where the fuck did that clown come from?" lmao would either of them know what a clown is?

I typed out an entire drabble on my PHONE ON THIS HELLSITE OF A MOBILE APP and when I hit ‘post’ it just fucking DISAPPEARED. EDIT: AND THEN AFTER I REWROTE IT ON MY LAPTOP THE SITE HAD AN ERROR AND POSTED THE MOBILE VERSION?????????

“We could have gone hiking on Bajor.” Kira stated. “My answer is still the same, Bajor is 6 hours away.” Jadzia smiled at her girlfriend. “Besides, there aren’t any insects in the holosuite.” “We could get you one of those devices to repel them.” Kira replied. “You can show me Bajor in the future. For now, try to enjoy the holosuite.” They rounded a large boulder to find a waterfall with swimming hole. “I guess I can try, since I get to get you in a swimsuit.” Kira smiled. Jadzia laughed. “Your wish is my command.” She gave Kira a quick kiss and stripped down to her swimsuit. They waded into the pool and swam over to the waterfall, standing as much beneath it as they could, laughing and sharing kisses for a few minutes. Once the novelty had worn off a bit they just stood there, relishing the sensation of water pouring over them. “I don’t think I’ve had a non-sonic shower in years.” Jadzia noted. “Mmm, feels better than I remember.” Kira agreed, eyes closed. “Hey, look.” Jadzia reached up to grab a ledge in the rock face, then another, feet finding purchase on the slick rock. “Dax, what are you doing?” Kira frowned as her girlfriend climbed out of the water. “Relax, Nerys, the safeties are on.” Jadzia ascended quickly, smile in her voice. “Where are you even going?” “I was thinking of jumping off the top of the waterfall.” Jadzia grinned down at her impishly, then her face fell slack and she stopped climbing. “Dax?” “I just remembered Curzon’s fear of heights.” She replied tightly. “Well, we can’t end the program with you up there, get back down here.” “Going to take a minute.” Jadzia descended slowly, less confident than on her way up. 

“I’m right here, you’re almost down.” Kira assured, reaching up to put a hand on Jadzia’s shaky calf when she was back in reach. She kept her hand up, providing a reference point as her girlfriend moved down, hand sliding up Jadzia’s spots. Kira’s hand was on Jadzia’s back and Jadzia’s feet were barely under water. “I’m going to fall.” Jadzia stated. “You’re almost d-” Kira cut off as Dax fell backward with a splash. Kira quickly grabbed her girlfriend’s bicep to keep her head above water. “Dax?!” “I think I’m okay.” Jadzia assured as she got her feet under her. They both stared silently as a circus clown emerged from under the waterfall doing a backstroke, and disappeared when it reached the shore. "Where the fuck did that clown come from?“ Kira thought aloud. “Oh good, I thought I might be hallucinating. We should tell Quark something’s wrong with the holosuite.” Jadzia replied casually. “Computer, end program.” The environment disappeared, along with the water on them. Jadzia retightened her ponytail. Kira sighed. 

“I’m sorry this wasn’t a relaxing date like I promised.” She took Kira’s hands in her own. “Let me make it up to you. We’ll take a few days off, take the shuttle to Bajor, and you can take me on a real hike.” “Okay.” Kira smiled and they started pulling on their clothes. “But for Prophets’ sakes, please try to remember if one of your former selves has a phobia before you start doing something dangerous?” “No promises.” “Dax!” 

Edit: and now for some goddamn reason the single spaced line breaks aren’t showing up on mobile jfc I hate this site

[turtle-steverogers]

Fugitives- Chap 6

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

Warnings: D E A T H (someone is shot and killed, yeet), drug mention

Ship: Eventual Ralbert

I’m so so so sorry

Albert was awoken a few hours later to the sounds of people arguing on the other side of the shower curtain.  He kept his eyes shut as he strained his ears, trying to catch what the voices were saying.

“You let someone walk away?” Whispered a voice that Albert recognized as Jack’s.

“He promised he wouldn’t run his mouth,” Came Race’s reply.

“Of course he promised, Antonio,” Came another, exasperated voice, “Anyone would promise that if you shot a gun at their wall and threatened to kill them.”

“Davey’s right,” Jack said, “I can’t believe you, Race.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do?” Race exclaimed defensively.

“Kill him, Racetrack,” Jack said, his voice was gaining volume, “You were supposed to kill him.”

“Jack Kelly, you know that I can’t fucking-”

“Yes, I’ve fucking heard it.  I’ve heard a million times that you won’t fucking kill anyone else,” Jack was speaking loudly now, “I don’t know what happened to you in Prospect.  I don’t know what part you played in Rockefeller, but you’re going to have to get the fuck over it one day, because in this fucking life, you’re gonna have to kill a few people and-”

“Shut up, Jack!” Race shouted, “Shut the fuck up.  I know that I’m gonna have to kill a few people.  Hell, you’ve made me kill a few people, but don’t fucking talk to me about Rockefeller.  Don’t ever bring that up, asshole, there’s a fucking reason I don’t talk about it.” Race’s breath hitched after the last sentence.

“Both of you quiet down, you’re going to wake people up,” The other man, Davey, scolded, “Jack, leave his past out of this.  Race, take a deep breath.  We’re going to have to think about how to deal with Albert’s roommate, but for now, I think that it would be best if we all just got some rest, okay?”

“Okay,” Jack mumbled.

“Thank you,” Davey said, “Race?”

Albert heard Race take a measured breath, “Okay,” he answered, voice strained.

“Good, get some sleep, Race,” Davey instructed, “Jack, c’mon.”

Albert cracked an eye open, watching as two silhouettes walked to the other side of the theatre.  He saw Race’s shadow pacing back and forth behind the curtain a few times, before he sat down on his cot.  It looked like he was holding his head in his hands.  

Albert felt worry claw at his gut.  What were they planning to do to Elmer?  He had half a thought to send a warning text to him, but didn’t want to find out the repercussions if Jack found out he’d contacted him.  Maybe they weren’t going to kill him, maybe they were just going to recruit Elmer like they’d done with him.  Logically, Albert knew that wasn’t the case.  

Albert let out a frustrated sigh and reached under his pillow to grab his phone.  It was nearly 6:00 am, so Elmer would be waking up within the hour to go to his morning shift at the coffee shop he worked at.  

Albert clicked into his and Elmer’s texts and bit his lip, trying to decide how to word his message.

To Elmer: Bro, do me a fat favor and stay at your girl’s place for a few days.  Don’t ask questions.  I’m handling it.  Just don’t go back to our place and never go anywhere alone.

He hovered his thumb over the send button for a few moments, then delivered it.  Elmer was no doubt going to ask questions anyway, but it was worth a shot.  He deleted their conversation and slid his phone back under his pillow.  Rolling over, he noticed that Race was no longer sitting on his cot.  In fact, it didn’t look like he was on his side of the wing at all.  Albert frowned and lifted his head, glancing around the parts of the theatre that he could see, but there was no sign of Race anywhere.  He got up, curiosity getting the better of him.  Carefully, he drew back the curtain separating his and Race’s side, eyes sweeping the dark area.  At first he didn’t see anything, then he noticed Race sitting on the ground in front of his cot.  

“You okay?” He whispered, causing Race to jump violently and turn around.

His face was lined with tear tracks, which he hastily wiped away with his shirt sleeve, “What the fuck? How long’ve you been awake?”

Albert shrugged, “Not too long.”

Race stood, then sat down on his cot, pulling his knees up to his chest.  He looked tired, “Did you hear anything?”

Albert considered telling him what he had witnessed of his conversation with Jack and Davey, but thought against it, “Nothing besides you moving around.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah..”

“Sorry for waking you.”

Albert waved a hand nonchalantly, “You didn’t, I’m a light sleeper.”

Race sniffed and lowered his chin to rest on his knees, “What do you want?”

Albert glanced down, suddenly feeling guilty for invading what was obviously a very personal moment for Race, “Uh, nothing.  Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Race scowled, “Well, I’m fine.  Why do you care anyway?  I’ve been pretty terrible to you.”

“I was just curious, man-” They both startled when Albert’s phone began buzzing.

Race raised his eyebrows, “You better go get that before Jack or Davey hears.  They’re really strict about phones and who we’re all contacting.”

Albert huffed and let the curtain fall back into place, once again separating himself from Race.  He took his phone from under his pillow to see that Elmer was calling him.  He quickly declined the call and clicked into his texts.

To Elmer: No calling.  Just text.

From Elmer: Where the fuck are you man???? What the fuck happened yesterday??? Are you alive?????

To Elmer: Of course I’m alive, numbnuts.  I can’t tell you where I am and I can’t tell you what was happening yesterday, but you’re kinda in danger so…

From Elmer: BUdDY you can’t say all this shit without an explanation.  I’m freaking the fuck out

To Elmer: Believe me, I am too.  Listen, please just trust me.  Where are you right now? From Elmer: Sarah’s

Albert slumped onto his cot, relief flooding his system.  Elmer was safe at his girlfriend’s place, far from their apartment.

To Elmer: Thank fuck, okay.  Maybe don’t go to work tomorrow.  Or move to China and change your name.  Idc, just please look out for yourself.  Also delete this convo

From Elmer: Albert what the fuck

To Elmer: I’m sorry.  I gotta go.  Remember to delete this.  I’ll talk to you when I can

From Elmer: Jfc ok bye

Albert erased his messages once more and laid back against his pillows.  He scrolled through Instagram mindlessly, trying in vain to get tired again.  It was nearing 7:00 am, so he assumed he’d have to be up soon anyway.  Eventually, he dozed off, phone still in hand.

XXX

“The fuck?” Albert yelped as his pillow was yanked out from under his head.

“Rise and shine, bitchatcho.”

Albert looked up to see Race hovering over him, pillow in hand.

“What time s’it?” He asked, voice still thick with sleep.

“Like, 8:00 am,” Race thwacked Albert violently with the pillow, ”We gotta long day ahead of us, so get the fuck up.”

Albert glared at him for a long moment before reluctantly sitting up, “Fine, give me like, ten minutes to change and take a piss.”

“Awesome, meet me downstairs by the storage room when you’re.”

Albert gave him a sarcastic thumbs up and watched as Race left the stage.  He pulled his jeans out from under his cot and changed into them, then went to the dressing rooms to use the bathroom.  On his way downstairs, he stopped by his bin and took out a sweatshirt, yanking it over his head as he bounded down the stairs.  

As promised, Race was waiting outside the storage room, eating a banana.  There were two other men with him, one sporting a backwards hat over his curly brown hair and the other leaning heavily on a crutch.  

“Heya, Albert,” Race greeted, “Meet Finch and Crutchie.”

The one with a crutchie leaned forward, offering a hand, “As you can probably gather, outta the two of us, I’m Crutchie.  I’m Empire’s medic, so if you’re aboutta die or some shit, I’ll patch you up.”

“Uh, sounds good,” Albert said, shaking Crutchie’s hand.  He turned to the guy in the backwards hat, “And what about you?”

“Finch,” The guy grunted.

Albert cocked his head and looked at Race, who flicked the guy in the back of the head, “Sorry about him, he’s bitter.  That’s Finch.  He’s our botanist.”

“Botanist?”

“I run our drug inventory,” Finch said, toying with a cigarette and looking entirely uninterested.

“Cool, uh, nice to meet you..” Finch scanned his eyes over Albert, who crossed his arms self-consciously.

“Likewise.”

“Well, this is cozy,” Crutchie said brightly, “Anyway, I leave you all to your work.  Just thought I’d introduce myself.  Toodles!” He waved and hobbled away.

“You gotta key, Finchy?” Race asked.

“Don’t call me that,” Finch said, fishing a key out of his jacket pocket and unlocking the storage room door.

“Oh yeah,” Race said, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out another banana, “Here, before I forget it’s in there and sit on it.”  he handed the banana to Albert, who hesitantly took it.

“I didn’t poison it or some shit,” Race laughed, “Just thought you’d be hungry.”

Albert wordlessly peeled the banana and took a bite, realizing belatedly how hungry he was.  

“Race,” Finch called from inside the storage room, “What do you need?”

“Uh, get me like, two grams of pot? And...I think that’s it.  It’s a small trade.”

“Kay,” Finch emerged a moment later holding a white paper bag.  He handed it to Race who crumpled it and put it into his jacket pocket.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Higgins,” Finch held out a hand, “Give me the bag back.”

Race rolled his eyes and shoved the bag into Finch’s outstretched palm.  Finch held his glare as he neatly folded the bag over a few times, then handed it back to Race, who carefully placed it back into his pocket.

“Happy?” Race jeered.

“Extremely,” Finch answered with a fake smile, “We done here?  I would like to get coffee now.”

“Yes, we’re done, go get your bean juice.”

Finch sneered and walked away, disappearing up the stairs.

“He’s really fucking meticulous about his drugs,” Race said, zipping up his jacket.

“Meticulous,” Albert repeated, “Didn’t peg you for a fifty-cent-word kinda guy.”

“Shut up, I went to high school.  I glanced at all the SAT words.”

“Oh, did you?  So what does brevity mean?”

“Uhhhhhhh..” Race screwed up his face in thought, “I said I glanced, dude.  That doesn’t mean I retained any actual knowledge.”

“Brevity’s easy.  It’s the quality of being brief or terse.”

“Albert, have I told you you’re annoying yet?”

“Many times.”

“Okay, you’re annoying.  Now c’mon, The Bronx is waiting.”

XXX

The bleak winter air bit Albert’s face as he and Race left The Bowery.  As they walked through the street toward the nearest subway station, Albert couldn’t help but notice the strange feeling that nagged at the back of his neck.  The streets felt almost different, like they were hiding some enormous monster underneath them.  The ever-existing presence of Empire and Prospect loomed ominously over Race and Albert, blind to the eyes of other pedestrians.  He felt incredibly vulnerable, constantly paying mind to who was paying attention to them.  Anyone at any time could be a threat- there was no telling who knew what.

They caught the yellow line that would take them to The Bronx, where they were scheduled to trade with some guy in Fordham at 9:30.  It was currently 8:15 and the ride was supposed to take about forty-five minutes, leaving Albert wishing he had his headphones so he could disengage completely.

“You nervous at all?” Race’s question surprised Albert, and he turned to him

“Kinda, I guess?  How exactly does a trade work?”

“First off, for the love of God, lower your voice,” Race said, leaning in so that they could talk in quieter voices, “And it’s pretty simple.  You missed phase one, which is deciding a meet place and trade time.  We do that using the graffiti, which I’ve already told you about.  One of these days, I’ll show you the symbols we use and what they mean, but that’s not important right now.  So now, we just have to be at the coordinated location and make sure he actually has the cash he promised.  If he does, we trade, plain and easy.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

Race glanced to the side briefly, “Then, we….” he worried his lip between his teeth.

“...Kill him?” Albert tried,

Race looked down at his lap, reaching up a hand to tug at the hair on the back of his head, “I mean, no.  Killing’s not entirely necessary.  That’s like, last resort.  Like if he pulls knife on us.  Yeah, no, we’d just, like, beat him up.” He was rambling and Albert furrowed his brow.

“You alright?  Why are you getting weird?”

“I’m not,” Race said, defensively scooting backwards a bit.

“You totally are,” Albert noted that Race had shrunken in on himself, “Is this something to do with last night?  With Rockefeller or whatever Jack was talking about?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Albert regretted them.  

He silently cursed his lack of a filter as Race whipped his head up, “What? How did you-” he scooted backwards further as his expression turned furious, “So you were listening.  You lied to me, DaSilva.  This puts you on thin fucking ice.”

Albert pursed his lips, annoyed with himself.

“If you were listening so carefully,” Race seethed, “Then you should have known not to fucking bring that up.”

“M’sorry,” Albert mumbled.

Race didn’t answer as he busied himself in pulling out his headphones, though Albert could see his hands shaking.  Albert sat back in his seat and pulled out his own phone, electing to catch up on SnapChat until they arrived in The Bronx.

Fordham was significantly sketchier than the neighborhoods Albert was used to.  The storefronts they passed were all worn down and the deeper Race led Albert into the area, the dirtier it got.  Race hadn’t spoken a word to him since their conversation on the train, leaving Albert more or less in the dark about the specifics of where they were going.  Eventually, they arrived at an abandoned auto-shop.  

Race walked around to the back of the lot and knocked on one of the garage doors.  It opened a moment later to reveal a tall, gruff looking guy.

“You Racetrack?” He asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Yes, sir, I am,” Race said, sauntering over to him, “But, a little piece of constructive criticism, don’t ever voice your assumptions.  If you had been wrong about who was just now, that could have meant serious trouble for the both of us.”

The guy looked unimpressed, “I expected you to be less twiggy.”

“And I expected you to have more than one brain cell, but alas.”

“Whatever,” The guy said, “You got the shit?”

“Yeah,” Race retrieved the paper bag containing the weed from his jacket, “And you’ll get it as soon as I see the cash.”

The guy reached into his back pocket and produced an envelope, “Here, you see it.  Now give me the goddamn pot already.”

“Nuh uh uh,” Race wagged his finger, “Calm down, you useless junkie.  I already made it very clear the other day that it’s cash first, weed second.  Hand it over.”

“Show me the pot first,” Race opened the bag and held it out for the guy to see.  He peered at the bag’s contents, inspecting it closely, “And that’s two grams?”

Race clicked his tongue, “It should be.”

The guy nodded and reached into the envelope, revealing a large wad of cash.  He held it out for Race to take, who in turn, handed the paper bag over to him.

Once the items were exchanged, Race spit into his palm and offered it to the guy.  Without hesitation, the guy spit into his own hand and shook Race’s.  Albert wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“Pleasure doing business,” Race said, formally.

The guy huffed a small laugh, “Okay.”

With that, he stalked back into the auto shop and closed the garage door.  Race turned to Albert, looking pleased.

“That went nice and smooth,” He said.

“Yeah, seemed easy,” Albert agreed.

“I’m hungry,” Race declared, “Let’s head back to The Bowery for lunch, then we can do our next trade.”

“What time’s our next trade?  And where?” Albert asked, following Race away from the autoshop.

“4:00 over in Washington Square Park.  We have a little while.”

The journey back to The Bowery seemed to take less time than the commute to The Bronx.  Race had loosened up significantly and was telling Albert about the other guys in Empire as they entered the theatre.

“So yeah, you met Finch and Crutchie- great guys by the way, absolute geniuses.  Aside from them, there’s Mush and Blink, who trade a lot over in Staten Island.  Blink’s got an eyepatch.  No one knows exactly what happened to his eye, but it definitely involved a knife.  Romeo is a little shit, but a total charmer, which comes in handy during trades.  Jojo’s the handyman- I’ve already told you about him.  Giant teddy bear, that guy.  Love him.  And then you met Jack and I’ve told you about Les and Davey- oh! I want you to meet Davey, he should be around today, one sec,” As they passed the recreation room, Race stuck his head in, “Hey, Mush.”

Albert peeked over Race’s shoulder to see a shorter guy with straight brown hair, playing solitaire.  He looked up upon hearing his name and smiled, “Hey Race,” He made eye contact with Albert and blinked, “You’re Albert, yeah? The dude Race pulled off the street?”

“Indeed, that’s me,” Albert said as Race pulled him into the room.

“Welcome, don’t fuck anything up,” Mush said, placing his cards onto the table and clasping his hands under his chin, “Did you guys need something?”

“Yeah,” Race leaned against the door, “D’you know where Davey is?”

“Uh, I’m not actually sure?  I saw him and Jack leave a little bit ago.  They said they have something they need to take care of over in SoHo.”

Race frowned, “That’s weird, I didn’t think that they had any trades today.”

Albert felt his blood run cold as he processed what Mush had told them, “Oh my god,” he muttered, “Oh my god.”

Race and Mush looked at him, confusion written on their faces, “What?  What’s wrong.”

Albert swallowed and met Race’s stare, panic running down his spine, “Elmer’s girlfriend lives in SoHo.”

“What are you-” Albert didn’t let Race finished as he fled the room, running towards the exit.

“Albert, slow down,” Race called, running after him, “Albert!”

Albert stopped just outside the theatre, turning around to look at Race with wide, terror-stricken eyes, “Race, please, I need to make sure Elmer’s okay.”

“But what does that have to do with his girlfriend-” Understanding dawned on Race’s face, “Wait shit, is he still at his girl’s place?”

“Yes and I think that’s where Jack and Davey are headed.  Come or don’t, I’m going,” Albert ran to the street and hailed a cab, Race climbing in next to him.

“Albert,” Race hissed, “You realize this is gonna make it worse, right?”

“Shut up,” Albert snapped, pulling out his phone and dialing Elmer’s number.  When he didn’t pick up, Albert called Sarah.

“Hello?” Sarah answered from the other side.  She sounded okay, which Albert took  as a good sign.

“Sarah, are you at your place?” Albert asked, urgently.

“No, I’m at the grocery store right now, why? Is everything okay?”

“Is Elmer with you?” Albert pushed.

“No,” Sarah said, slowly, “He was still asleep when I left, so he didn’t come.”

“Shit,” Albert cursed, “Shit shit shit.”

“Albert, what’s-” Sarah started, sounding worried.

“I gotta go, but don’t go home,” Albert demanded, not waiting for a reply as he hung up.  

They arrived in front of Elmer’s apartment complex fifteen minutes later.  Albert almost didn’t want to go inside, too afraid of what he might find.  He forced himself to get out of the cab nonetheless and sprinted in through the front, Race on his heels.  He bypassed the elevator, instead darting towards the door to the stairwell and scaling the three flights of stairs to Sarah’s floor.  When he got to the apartment, he found that it was locked.  

He cursed under his breath, then turned to Race, who was standing nervously a few feet away, “Do you have, like, anything you can use to pick locks?” He asked, impatiently.

Race looked like he was having some sort of internal battle as he reached into his boot and pulled out a knife, handing it to Albert, who stuck his tongue between his teeth as he fiddled with the doorknob.  It took a few minutes, but eventually he got heard the click indicating that he had succeeded.

“I don’t think you should go in there,” Race warned, but Albert ignored him.

The next thirty seconds felt like they went by in slow motion.  Albert opened the door to find Jack and a man in a button down shirt and sweater vest standing on the other side.  The man in the sweater vest was pointing a gun at Elmer, who was cowering against the wall.  Jack looked up as Albert entered the room and opened his mouth to shout something, but was cut off by the sound of a gunshot.  Albert looked over to see Elmer slump onto the floor, blood flowing steadily from his head.  He screamed and staggered backwards into Race, who caught him and lowered him to the floor.  The sound around Albert seemed to muffle.  The world was blurry and he was certain that people were talking around him, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Albert, Jesus Christ,” He felt someone slap him across the face and he flinched, “Stop screaming or Davey’ll shoot you too,” Race’s voice bled into his consciousness and he was suddenly pulled back to reality.

He closed his mouth, stopping the screams that were escaping him.  Without thinking, he looked at Elmer’s body again and his stomach lurched.  He bent over to the side and threw up, unable to handle the sight any longer.  He heard the door close behind him, then the man in the sweater vest crouched down in front of him.

His eyes were alarmingly calm as he offered a hand to Albert, “You must be Albert.  I’m Davey, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

In the words of @newsies-of-nyc “R.I.P el, sorry bro”

next chapter we find out what ‘Rockefeller’ is oooo race’s dark past

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