#took like less than 15 minutes

[shiniestcrow]

"So, Sage," Astarion says, emphasising their name in a way that almost screams mischief, "I hate to pry but I am terribly curious."

Sage snorts. "You only hate other people prying into your business not the other way around."

Astarion shrugs, unrepentant. "Fair enough. So, tell me, darling, did your parents actually give you that name or did you pick it out yourself?"

Oh. Sage looks up. Everyone else is now also paying attention. Oh, this will be fun. For them. Not for the others. Because that's what you get for prying.

They shrug. "Neither. I dunno what my parents named me. A girl at the... "orphanage" I stayed at for a while gave me my name." They stand up, stretching their arms over their head. Making it obvious that they're tired and about to go to sleep. "Her ma used to burn sage to make herself feel better. The owner of the place had a similar habit."

They turn away before their words fully sink in. They don't need to see the others' faces.

"Aw, that's-" Karlach starts. Stops. "Hold on. Do you mean..."

Sage starts walking towards their bedroll.

"What the fuck?!"

"Goodnight," Sage calls over their shoulder. No need to hide their grim smile when no one can see it. They can feel it pulling at the burn scar stretching across their face.

[hinamie]

- wip -

talk shit get hit itfs panel redraw fr the soul

[averlym]

ghost story premiere day! check @melliotwrites for more info

[lunyselene]

this post seems to be going around so let me just say:

THIS IS AN OBVIOUS AD.

I often see posts like this with a chain of reblogs saying that it's a ''need'' or whatever. But they're almost all sponsored posts from popular ''meme blogs'' and they're pretty easy to spot.

These posts always advertise a pretty useless product (normally lamps, plushies or jewelry) that's probably too expensive for what it is, and underneath add comments with a variant of "I found this thing. Here is the link to buy it!".

Now, this is the linked website. They're selling these lamps for 25 dollars, which seems a bit much, don't you think? (and don't talk to me about that 35 USD price tag because I am completely positively sure that these lamps are ALWAYS on sale.)

What if I just typed ''spooky halloween ghost lamp'' on AliExpress..

Would you look at that! This website is selling the lamps at a price THIRTEEN TIMES more expensive that the one that's on Aliexpress. THIRTEEN TIMES!!!

Also, I saw that the sponsor website, lavenderconstellation, has a TON of these other products. I've seen a few of their other sponsored posts and they always get a lot of traction somehow.

Can we please just stop reblogging ads?? Don't we already get enough of them daily??

[timeisacephalopod]

This winter (the season not the me) has been unseasonably and terrifyingly warm, like it's 10 degrees (Celsius sorry Americans) out today and I'm reminded of an article I read in the news a couple years ago about how Canada was baking at twice the rate as the rest of the world and go 👁️👄👁️. In my youth snow where I live would be probably a foot high in the lowest snow areas of snow drifts and up to my waist (in adult height) in the high parts, and every year I see less and less snow ☠️☠️☠️

On one hand despite my namesake I actually loathe the season winter, I'm extremely sensitive to the cold and getting brain freeze because the wind is blowing against the direction you're walking in sucks booty hole. But like NO snow is extremely bad. VERY bad. Do not like living out the consequences of climate change because uh. Canada just does not seem to have winters like it used to and hasn't in years. It's like watching all the corn crops stop growing like they used to because the summers are so much dryer and hotter with the exception of last summer, which was almost wet enough to kill the corn with that. But they survived and grew bushy like they used to and it was kind of terrifying to acknowledge I hadn't seen a crop that good in years.

[extervus]

Okay that was the fastest and least complicated filling I've ever had maybe I should start driving four and a half hours for fillings lmao

[minotaurfemme]

god prog starts kicking in so fucking fast when boofed

[ternaryflower53]

you know, i truly do not understand why people go "i thought this would be easier than it is!!" during contact lens trainings

you are literally trying to hold your eyelids super wide open to poke your eye. also you're not wearing your glasses as you do it so you probably can't see. why would this be easy

[diari0deglierrori]

Receiving a little dose of sweet message from no one but your conseiller clientèle will do the job for today

[bi-panic-at-the-disco]

shotgunning a tube of strawberry mentos right now

[atypi-cals]

one fucked up thing about me is that most things I ingest don't work horribly well on me? the exception is things I can drink, like booze. but like. weed edibles barely do a thing to me. mushrooms do a bit but I cant get properly high on them. one time I was in a lot of pain and someone gave me a perc and it I genuinely think an ibuprofen would have been as effective.

[exopelagic]

ohhhh my supervisor is so sick of me

[arolesbianism]

You guys know not of the catastrophic squid sisters brainrot going on in my head rn

[hussyknee]

i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes

(Edits closed as of 28 Nov.)

Lmaoooo

Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like two years:

Link to post.

But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:

Link to post.

Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.

Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.

Link to post.

Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)

As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.

Link to post.

It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂

Link to post.

Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.

Link to post (tags mine).

Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3

----------------------------------------------

Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.

found by @thepotch

Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?

Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️

Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.

Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.

Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.

Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!

Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC

----------------------------------------------

I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.

Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)

Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)

Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)

Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)

Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday

As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.

-----

Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:

Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page

Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting

Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)

Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)

Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)

Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from

Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)

Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀

(alt text included)

End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3

----

Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:

More trailers!

Trailer 1 (My favourite)

Trailer 2

Trailer 3

Trailer 4

I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.

It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off.

Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!

And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.

YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:

InformOverlord (4:30)

Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)

End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.

--

🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual)

tw: unreality:

We did it you guys!

Clarification: Francesca Scorcese asked her Dad about the meme and Martin played along. Please reblog this PSA to help Tumblr people with psychosis. Thanks.

Final edit: Day 8. Media reactions to Scorcese's TikTok (everyone from Forbes to Vulture). That one Tumblr user who said they'd do a screenplay if their post got notes has promised to shoot a single scene, but please don't be dicks just because you reblogged it; leave them alone until they get around to it themselves. As of end of Day 8 there are 609 works in the AO3 tag. I love all you lunatics. Peace! ❤️

[jmin]

every day I spend with my nieces is a day to reinforce my desire of never having kids of my own amen

[louisdotmp3]

i love that poll the americans are like what the hell are you talking about i can drive for days and the non americans are like what the hell are you talking about if the drive is less than 30 mins i'll walk