#took edibles and spent like 3 hours on this lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kireimarkeu · 4 years ago

Text

For Us; j.jh

+another repost! i just read this and not sure why i even posted it, this was so terribly done lol

summary; jaehyun, you and your first born on a reality tv show

2.8k words lol

this is literally… so so… terrible. you guys shouldn’t read this because i literally put 0 effort in this ;; also this is female reader, i don’t know how to make this gender neutral…

if i see anyone liking this i will get so mad because this is absolutely trash i will delete this in 3 years >:(

+episode 1

The show started with a toddler playing on the bed, obvious that his parents were on each side of him.

Oh? Do we have a new member?

The baby suddenly turns to poke his father’s cheeks. His father grumbles in response, pushing the small hands away from his face lightly.

“Daddy,” the toddler mumbles, “wakey wakey,”

Oh? This baby can speak English?

His father let out a low grumble. His face was blurred from editing.

The toddler pinches his father’s cheeks as he let out a giggle.

“Daddy, you look funny,”

What? He can speak Korean too? I wonder who their parents are.

The toddler then leans down to press kisses all over his father’s face, his father cracks a grin.

“Hello, I am NCT127’s Jaehyun,” Jaehyun bow to the camera with a smile.

“Hello, I am Y/N, wife of Jaehyun and mother of Jung Seungwoo,” you greet.

“How long have the both of you been married for?”

“We’ve been married for almost 4 years,” replies Jaehyun.

“How old is Jung Seungwoo?”

“He’s turning 2 years this year,”

“How many kids do the both of you want?”

You look at Jaehyun, who was already staring at you. The both of you let out a laugh.

“I actually want 2 kids,” you say, “but before we got married, Jaehyun said he wants 5!”

“I was joking!” he exclaims, “but now it’s up to y/n, it’s her body and I’ll respect her,”

Jaehyun’s eyes flutter open, his dimples showing as he grins at his first born. He automatically puckers his lips, waiting for his kiss. Seungwoo didn’t hesitate to press his lips against Jaehyun’s.

“Good morning,” Jaehyun mumbles, shutting his eyes.

His son whines, tugging on his father’s huge hands, “I’m hungry,”

Without hesitation, Jaehyun stood up, carrying the toddler in his arms.

Woah! Their house is so big and clean! As expected from an idol!

Jaehyun places his child on the baby chair, leaning against the counter, facing him, “What do you want to eat, Seungwoo-ya?”

“Strawberries!” Seungwoo says cheerfully, slamming his tiny hands on the table.

His father hums and takes out the box of strawberries. He washes the strawberries thoroughly before cutting it into edible pieces and filling them in a bowl.

“Here you go,”

Jaehyun places the bowl of fruits on the table. His son reached out to take the fruits in his hands but was stopped by his father’s voice.

“Jung Seungwoo,” Jaehyun glares at his child.

“Why were you being mean to him?”

Jaehyun laughs, “was that mean? The both of us have been trying to teach him dining etiquette,”

“He’s almost 2 and still isn’t very good at using utensils, so we have been a little stricter with him,” you explain further.

“Thank you for the food,” Seungwoo says as he clumsily pokes the strawberries with the plastic fork his dad has given him.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Jaehyun had spent the whole day spending with his child alone. He had cook, played, change diapers for Seungwoo all alone. Because of the show, you had to leave for a day.

After putting Seungwoo to sleep, he stepped out to the living room in the dark. He pulled out his phone, dialling your number that he had memorized.

“Baby,” he whispers when he hears you pick up.

“Jaehyun, how was it?” you ask him.

He lets out a sigh, “exhausting,”

You laugh at his response, “did he behave the whole day?”

He hums, “yeah, we went to the market earlier then to the playground since he wanted to play,” he explains.

You hum in response. You didn’t really know what to say since you know the cameras are still filming your husband.

Jaehyun lets out another sigh.

“You okay?” you ask. You could sense that Jaehyun wasn’t only tired, but he was also down.

Jaehyun finally lets out a choked sob, he tried to quieten his sob, knowing his son is asleep in his room.

Is he crying? Why is he crying?

“Jae? Why are you crying, baby?”

It took him a while to find the right words, “I didn’t know it took this much effort to take care of a child,” he whispers, “I’ve never properly taken care of my own child, I feel like a bad father,”

“Don’t say that,” you frown, “you’re a good father, Jaehyun. Seungwoo loves you.”

“I’m sorry for not helping you earlier,” Jaehyun whispers, his voice breaking, “I’m going to help you more now,”

You smile at his words, “It’s okay, Jaehyun. Don’t think too much about it, okay?”

Jaehyun lets out a shaky sigh, tilting his head up to wipe the stray tears, “okay,”

“Now go to bed, baby. Seungwoo doesn’t like sleeping alone,”

Right when you finished your sentence, Seungwoo started crying in his room. Jaehyun rushes to his son, stroking his hair.

“Daddy is here,” Jaehyun whispers, lulling Seungwoo to sleep.

“You’re a good dad, Jaehyun,” you continue, “go to sleep, okay? I’ll see you in the morning,”

“Okay, I love you,”

“I love you too, Jung”

+episode 3

Seungwoo was in the middle of the both of you, his left hand was wrapped around Jaehyun’s as the other was wrapped around yours. He would occasionally pull himself up, so he felt like he was flying.

“Seungwoo, what do you want to eat today?” you ask him, looking down at the playful boy.

“I want to eat something spicy!” he giggles.

You gasp, “spicy? Will you be able to take it?”

He nods, “I want something super spicy!”

“If that’s what you want,” shrugs Jaehyun, “we’ll get you the spiciest food,”

Oh? Are they being serious? Are they going to feed Seungwoo really spicy food?

The scene changed to Seungwoo sitting with a small portion of Jajjangmyeon in front of him.

“I’ll eat this well!” cheers Seungwoo as he picks up his chopsticks to eat.

The emcees laugh at the scene.

“can he actually take spicy food?”

“Nope!” you reply, “he’s tried cup noodles but complained but it was too spicy,”

“He thinks Jajjangmyeon is spicy.”

+episode 7

“Seungwoo,” calls Jaehyun, walking out of his room, “go get ready,”

To everyone’s astonishment, Seungwoo continues playing with his toys, ignoring his father’s words.

“Seungwoo,” Jaehyun repeats. When his son continues ignoring him, he lets out a tired sigh, walking to you.

Oh, what’s wrong with Seungwoo?

You suddenly came out of your room, walking over to your son, “Seungwoo, go get ready, we’ll be leaving soon.”

Seungwoo stops playing with his toys, looking up at you, “okay.”

Is he mad at his dad?

15 minutes ago…

“Daddy I want to eat chocolate,” whines Seungwoo, tugging on his father’s leg.

His father shakes his head, “you’ve eaten enough, no more chocolates, Seungwoo.”

Seungwoo let out another string of whines, pulling his father’s pants, “but mommy says I can eat some!”

“No,” Jaehyun says sternly, “you’ve eaten enough, Seungwoo.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Seungwoo was on your left, his hand holding onto yours. On your right was your husband, who was also holding your hand.

Your son has been throwing tantrums at his father ever since at home because Jaehyun wouldn’t let him eat chocolates.

Seungwoo notices how Jaehyun was holding on your hand. Letting go of your fingers, he walks over and pulls your hand from your husband’s and holds your now free hand.

He’s so cute!

You let out a soft laugh, looking over at Jaehyun who was shocked by Seungwoo actions. His son turns around to stick his tongue out at his father.

Your husband walks on the other side of you, secretly reaching out for your empty hand.

“Seungwoo, do you like mommy more or daddy more?”

“Mommy!” the toddler replies without hesitation, showing his grin.

“Why do you like mommy more?”

Seungwoo looks around, making sure his parents wasn’t in sight, “because mommy lets me eat chocolate!”

“Mommy, carry me,” Seungwoo whines when he saw his father standing next to you. He lifted his limbs, waiting for you to carry him.

“You’re a big boy, Seungwoo, you don’t need mommy to carry you,” replies Jaehyun.

You hit his arm, letting out a laugh. You carried your son, placing him on your hips as the two of you walk happily.

“Mommy you love me more, right?” Seungwoo asks, his hands on your cheeks.

“Hm? I love both you and daddy the same,” you answer.

He shakes his head, “No, daddy is a meanie, you love me more right?”

Jaehyun scoffs at Seungwoo, “mommy loves me more,”

You chuckle, “I love the both of you the same, stop arguing.”

Seungwoo suddenly pulls your face closer to his face as he pecked your lips, quickly pulling away.

“Do you love me more, now?”

“I can do that too,”

Before you could even reply, Jaehyun used his pointer finger so you were facing him. Your husband left a sweet yet longing kiss on your lips, pulling away with a cheeky grin as your son let out a grumble.

+episode 11

“Can we invite Naeun over?” Seungwoo asks, tugging on your hand.

You hum. Naeun was one of Seungwoo best friends, and one of your husband’s close friends too. They practically grew up together.

“Babe,” you turn to your husband who was watching the news, “is Taeyong free? Seungwoo wants to see Naeun.”

“I’ll text him,” your husband replies, fishing out his phone to text his friend.

Seungwoo crawls into his father’s lap, watching his dad type a message to Taeyong. When he saw his father finish typing, he looks at Jaehyun with a cheeky smile.

“Can I play games on your phone?”

Before Jaehyun can even reply, Seungwoo already snatched his phone from his grip, crawling out of his father’s lap to play games on the phone.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

About an hour later, you hear the doorbell ring. Seungwoo quickly ran to the door, waiting for his parents to open the door.

“Naeun-ie!” cheers Seungwoo as he hugs his friend, pulling the little girl in his room, playing around.

“Hi Hyung, sorry I had to call you so last minute,” Jaehyun apologizes, hugging his friend.

After most of the members getting married, most of them have decided to focus on their private life.

“It’s okay, Naeun was missing Seungwoo, anyway,” replies Taeyong. He suddenly hands you a bag of fruits, “I remember you telling me that Seungwoo really loves strawberries, so I bought some on the way,”

That is so nice of Taeyong!

“You didn’t have to! Thank you, Taeyong,”

You place the bags of strawberries on the counter.

“Where’s your wife?” asks Jaehyun, noticing that his friend came alone.

“She’s busy with work, she couldn’t follow me,” explains Taeyong.

+Episode 18

The scene started with Seungwoo attempting to crack an egg, putting it in the bowl. Luckily, the attempt was successful, although there were some eggshells in it but Jaehyun managed to take those out.

“What were you guys doing?”

“It’s Mother’s Day today and we decided to surprise y/n,” says Jaehyun with a smile. “I told y/n to go out with her friends today so I can prepare the surprise.”

Jaehyun planned to bake a cake for you. He originally wanted to make a romantic dinner for you, but you had told him you would be getting dinner with your friends, so he decided against that.

Seungwoo climbs down from the chair to go to a camera, whispering, “Daddy is a really good cook!”

“Daddy,” Seungwoo calls out, his father hums without turning around, “can I give the uncles yoghurt drinks?”

“Go ahead, Seungwoo,”

The uncles might’ve been there for a long time, that’s why he’s offering them drinks. He’s such a sweet boy!

It took the boys a total of 3 hours to finish preparing the cake.

Jaehyun heave a sigh, wiping the sweat on his upper lips with his sleeves. Jaehyun had frosting on his cheeks and forehead.

“Daddy, you have frosting on your face,” Seungwoo giggles, pointing at his father.

Jaehyun cracked a smile, even though he didn’t bother wiping the excess frosting. “How is it, Seungwoo?”

Seungwoo turns to face the cake.

The cake is huge! It had 3 layers and it was covered in white and baby pink frosting (your favourite colour). He had also bought some edible flowers, sticking them on the sides of the cake.

Jaehyun put so much effort and thought into this!

“We have 2 more hours until mommy comes home,” says Jaehyun, looking at the clock, “we’ll take a shower then will you help me with the flowers, Seungwoo?”

His son nods excitedly, “yes!”

After the both of them have taken a shower, Jaehyun brings out 5 packets of flower petals.

Jaehyun bends down to face Seungwoo. His son reaches out for the bag of flowers, but Jaehyun snatches it before he could grab it.

“We are going to put the flowers and lead them all the way to the living room, okay? Can you do that?”

Seungwoo nods and Jaehyun passes him one bag of flower petals. The both of them start arranging the flower petals, making sure it was perfect. When they reach the living room, Jaehyun had arrange the flower petals to make a heart in the middle.

“When mommy comes, you’ll stand in the middle of the heart, okay?” Jaehyun instructs.

Jaehyun receives a text from you saying you were on the way home. Panic fills Jaehyun, reaching out for Seungwoo, carrying him to the middle of the heart. He hands Seungwoo a bouquet of flower.

“When mommy comes in, just stay still until mommy comes to you okay?” Jaehyun says quickly, adjusting his son’s hair.

“Daddy you’re sweating,” mumbles Seungwoo.

“I know! I’m nervous!” his father lets out a nervous sigh. Jaehyun stands up, “I’m going to hide in the room, so wait until Mommy comes over, okay?”

“Okay!”

“And make sure you scream ‘happy mother’s day’ to mommy later!” reminds Jaehyun.

15 minutes later, Seungwoo hears the door unlock and stands up, waiting for his mother to walk in.

When you saw the flower petals on the floor you were confused.

“What is this?” you mumble, loud enough for the camera to capture. You walk further in, following the petals. You gasp when you saw Seungwoo standing in the middle of a flower petal heart.

“Seungwoo-ah, what is this? Where’s daddy?” you ask, going over to your son.

“Happy mother’s day!” yells Seungwoo, running over to you. You immediately carry him In your arms, pressing kisses on his face.

You feel arms snake around your waist. You turn around slightly to see Jaehyun smiling next to you.

“Did you do all this?” you ask him.

“Who else?” he murmurs.

“I helped too!” Seungwoo interrupts, raising both his arms.

“You did a great job, baby,” you coo, pressing more kisses on your son’s face.

Jaehyun pouts at your words, unhappy that you didn’t give him a kiss. You put Seungwoo down, who immediately pulls you to the kitchen to show you the cake.

“You made this too?!” you gasp, “this is crazy, Jaehyun!”

“And yet you haven’t given me a kiss,” your husband sulk from behind.

You laugh, turning around and placing your hands on his cheeks, pulling him closer to you. You lean in to capture his lips in a sweet kiss.

Aww!!!

“Ewww,” Seungwoo groans, letting go of your hand.

You giggle at your son’s reaction, pulling away from Jaehyun.

The 3 of you sat on the floor of the living room while Seungwoo plays with his toys.

“Did you purposely kick me out of the house to do this?” you ask your husband, turning to face him with a smirk.

Jaehyun had one arm wrapped around your shoulder while the both of you lean against the couch.

Your husband groans, tilting his head back, “you can’t say it that way!”

You chuckle, resting your head on his shoulder, “I loved it, how long did it take you?”

“5 hours,”

“Really?” you pull away to stare at your husband, “you deserve a kiss then,”

Your husband immediately perks up at the idea and puckers his lips, waiting for yours. You lean in to press another sweet kiss on his pretty pink lips.

The both of you were interrupted with Seungwoo placing his fingers in between your lips.

He really hates it when his father kisses his mother!

“Should we play a game?” Jaehyun asks.

“What game?” you nod at him.

“We let Seungwoo pick who he likes more,”

You scoff at your husbands words, “why? Do you think he would run to you?”

“Of course!”

Seungwoo was standing a few metres away from his parents.

“Seungwoo, you have to run whoever is your favourite, okay?”

The toddler nods.

I wonder who he would go to, since he had spent the whole day with his dad.

As expected by you, Seungwoo came crashing on your arms. You laugh in victory.

After spending the whole day with your dad do you like daddy more or mommy more?

Seungwoo leans closer, whispering, “I like daddy and mommy the same,”

600 notes · View notes

catfever7 · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 739 times in 2021

212 posts created (29%)

527 posts reblogged (71%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.5 posts.

I added 689 tags in 2021

#life - 140 posts

#random - 126 posts

#lol - 109 posts

#music - 72 posts

#the cute - 47 posts

#personal - 44 posts

#tumblr - 42 posts

#tumblr asks - 38 posts

#cats - 36 posts

#mood - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 55 characters

#i try to take sexy pictures and it never works out well

My Top Posts in 2021

@superchocolatecocoabear tagged me for a selfie...

I tag: @maybememoriesx @noortjelanterfanter @saturnineaqua @tobiwan72 @beckieletitia @lindaheleyna @1upforlife

14 notes • Posted 2021-07-11 15:44:12 GMT

@fatmaninalittlesuit has self love Sunday going on, soooo

Three things I love about myself:

1. My sense of adventure.

2. My determination

3. My music taste.

15 notes • Posted 2021-10-10 16:40:28 GMT

My vacation in Boston was okay, I tried to see as much as I could in the time I had. I did a hop on hop off trolley bus tour all day Friday and then a harbor cruise, so I did get to see and learn a lot about the history of Boston, thanks to the bus drivers.

Saturday Morning I took a ferry to Salem for a few hours and just walked around. I LOVEDDD Salem. I wish I lived there. It's just the cutest little town (even with the horrible history of what happened to the poor witches).

After, Salem I got back to Boston and spent the rest of the day exploring and seeing what I missed out on, on Friday. I also ended up meeting up with someone last night.. more on the subject on another post.

Over all, pretty nice trip.

See the full post

18 notes • Posted 2021-09-26 18:53:29 GMT

Vegas has been very very interesting.

I got fuckeddd up on an edible cookie.

I had vacation sex twice.. I'm drinking now.

Idk whatever else.

See the full post

23 notes • Posted 2021-10-25 01:55:44 GMT

Things to know about this Tumblr:

I make a lot of personal posts (about life, sex, health, travel, family, work, dating).

I talk about weight, weight loss, weight loss surgery and health/fitness.

I post pictures.

I reblog things I like or think are funny.

I post political things.

I post music.

49 notes • Posted 2021-06-09 03:09:07 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

7 notes · View notes

conaionaru · 4 years ago

Text

Honor and Blood (Ivar the Boneless)

I'll run to you

Synopsis:

Warnings: Ivar, Silas, toxic family, mentions of murder, angst

Tags:

@xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @didiintheblog @lol-haha-joke @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @queenbeeta @astridbaby @chynagirl13 @thereareendlessopportunities

P.S. I did some edits of Ivar x Vanya. And I found the perfect song for them (where the title of this chapter comes from) and made an edit of that as well.

I don’t own the gifs. Also, thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. If you want to be tagged please write me<3

When Vanya was a little girl, she dreamt of marrying a noble Prince and becoming his Queen. She imagined a huge castle and her father visiting her as often as possible. Even her mother was proud of her for being a good Christian wife.

Never did she dream of being here, drifting on a boat with a sore shoulder, woozy from mead with her sleeping heathen son in her lap. Why must dreams always be so wrong?

But truth to be told, she loved the life she lived now. Well, not right now, but the last year. Her experience in Kattegat was perfect. Despite his short temper, Ivar was a good man. He loved her unconditionally, protected her, and listened to her. His brothers were kind to her, and she trusted them with her life. Even Sigurd, with who she sometimes butted heads. She had a friend and found a mother in Aslaug and Helga.

She missed them so much. Two days on the water made her want to cry. She cried nowadays more than the babe she gave birth to. He seemed content; he loved watching the ravens fly over their heads and played with her hair when she held him.

How funny it seemed to her that she loved sailing when she came here. Now she yearned to stand on dry land and sleep in a warm bed wrapped in Ivar's arms.

Whenever Vanya didn't think of home, she thought of Silas, especially what she would do to him. She had been meek and peaceful for so long, forgave him everything he did to her. But that changes now; he didn't just hurt her or degrade her. He tried to kill her and her son. His knights murdered an innocent woman. He would pay the blood price for it.

The raven made a sound and left their usual circling spot. Vanya watched them go and perked up. Land. It meant land was near. She put her child into the nets and rowed towards the direction the birds flew.

Her shoulder screamed in protest, and she felt it reopen as her dress got wet with blood. She ignored it and kept on rowing. She was out of food, and the mead wouldn't last more than two cups. They needed to find water and food.

Ivar laid in his bed, sweat dripping from his forehead, the whites of his eyes blue. His legs hurt too much today; he had to stay in bed but couldn't sleep at all. All he could do was lay there in pain and think of all the ways he will torture Vanya's attacker. He prayed to the Gods that she was still alive. Two days ago, she went missing, and everyone was losing hope.

Aslaug had no visions, and Hoenir was no help. He dragged himself to the Seer yesterday, but all he got was vague answers. "You know the answer, Boneless." He knew Vanya had grown stronger and that she promised to protect their son. But so did he and now, he doesn't know where she is or if she is even alive.

He promised her that no one would ever lay a hand on her again, and he failed. If he ever saw her again, he wouldn't let her out of his sight.

"Drink the tea, Ivar. It will help." Ubbe ordered, walking into the room, looking at the untouched cup on Ivar's bedside. Right next to the tea was the carved figure of Fenrir and Vanya's serpent necklace.

"Did you find her? Anything?" Ivar begged as his brother wiped his damp forehead.

Ubbe shook his head and put the rag down. "A fisherman's boat went missing two days ago. Mother thinks Vanya might have taken it. So we sent some boats out to look for her. But if she drifted out into the open..."

He didn't have to finish the sentence for Ivar to understand. If Vanya drifted away, the storm that was gathering would sink her ship and drown them both. Hoenir saw her drown, what if he was right and she would? No amount of sacrifices would bring her back then. He would be alone again, with Aslaug the only one to love him. Ubbe might love him, but there are moments he must wish his brother wasn't alive.

The times he had to carry him or stay at home because Ivar was in pain. Having to check on his legs and eyes all the time. In everybody's eyes, Ivar was a burden; he was aware of it. Vanya was the only one who didn't care or look down on him. In her eyes, Ivar was perfect despite his shortcomings. Over time, she grew used to his temper and pain. She comforted him, held him, whispered sweet words into his ear as he fell asleep.

She loved him, and he left her alone after she bore him a son. He didn't even get to hold him. His perfect son, who had his eyes and hair. His healthy boy. Ivar hated himself, but he hated the world more.

"How long we have to keep looking? It's been two days now. The corpses must show up soon." Pæga complained, pulling off his boots and sinking his feet into the bowl with water.

Silas glared at the knight and stabbed his dagger into the table. "Boats were sent out to search for her, a fisherman's boat went missing, they think Vanya is in it. If she survived and they find her... My sister saw your faces. She isn't so stupid to fall for a few farmers in your clothes. If you get caught, then it means my death as well." He spat at his knights while Stithulf sat in the corner, sharpening his sword.

"I doubt she is alive. She doesn't strike me as a survivor. Vanya was sent here to wither and die, to brake and suffer. She might have charmed her way around Kattegat. But smiles and gifts aren't going to save her from death. She was hit with an arrow; I saw her sink. All they will find is a dead child in the boat. Vanya is dead, and you are the only possible ruler of Slegia."

Stithulf stood up after his rant and walked towards his King. He lifted the crown from the table and put it on his head. "A crown for a King. The one true King. Vanya will never wear this thing; neither will her children; I made sure of it."

Silas nodded and proudly pushed his chest out. The knight was right; he was the King, and Vanya was dead. First, he dealt with her; next is his mother and her new husband. Then his uncle and Wrosan will be his. The victory was certain.

Vanya hauled herself from the boat and pulled it on land so the tide wouldn't wash it away. Her son stirred in his little bed while Vanya collapsed on the ground, exhausted.

The ravens left them alone, and she had no idea where to go. This part of Kattegat was unfamiliar to her. So as she laid there, she prayed to the Gods to show her a way to get home. But no sign or help came.

So she wrapped herself tighter in her cloak and took her child with her heading west, the other way than she drifted off. She needed to get to a familiar location: the hunting hut, Floki's house, or even the forest before Kattegat.

Vanya walked with her son in her arms, without a pause. She managed to find some berries Helga taught her were edible and a stream of water. After she ate, she fed her son and carried on in her way. Her feet were sore, and her son was becoming too heavy for her weak arms.

Other than wilderness and silence, there was nothing around her. Every tree looked the same, and the shade they gave her made navigating with the sun harder. She shivered as the winds grew colder.

When her son whimpered in her arms, she froze. Her being cold wasn't that bad. But to him, it meant death. So she carefully put him on the ground and took off her cloak and swaddled him in it. Her thinned down frame shook in the cold winds while her son burrowed himself into the new warmth.

Vanya looked down at his little content face and smiled. All of this hardship was worth it if he was healthy and alive. This life she created and carries inside her, that she spent hours bringing into the world. It meant everything to her; it hurt to admit that her mother was right. A mother has no choice but to love her child; only a monster would ignore her own blood like that. But the thing Siflaed was wrong about was that Vanya did love Ivar. Despite everything she heard about him and his people, she grew to love him no, her people. Kattegat was her home now; she was born to live here; she knew it.

And when she returned, she would never leave again; she would remain and raise her son. She would see all the other sons of Ragnar start their own families and see Aslaug grow old. Hold Bjorn's adorable children and gossip with Torvi and Brynja. She would sit on the bench in front of the Great Hall, sewing a dress together, with Ivar by her side with their son in his arms. Vanya would come to visit Helga and Floki more often like she promised she would and try to make Margrethe less afraid of Ivar. He wasn't the monster; everyone made him out to be; her husband had a lonely heart with high walls made of anger.

She remembered the story of Eve and the Devil. The way the serpent tricked Eve into eating the apple and be banished from Eden for it. She also remembered the story one of Siflaed's lovers told her of the Greek goddess Persephone and the pomegranate. How Hades offered the fruit to her, and she stayed with him as his wife.

But Vanya didn't feel like Eve; her husband was no evil serpent leading her on. He was Hades, the god known for his dark demeanor, but a good husband. She wasn't a meek Christian like Eve, Vanya was Persephone. A good heart with love for nature, married to a man of shadowed behavior who everyone feared. But they both held darkness and light, she wasn't just a maiden who plucked blooming flowers, and Ivar wasn't just an angry heathen with a quick tongue. Her tongue was as equally sharp as his and his love as real as hers. They were King and Queen of the Underworld, Prince and Princess of Kattegat.

With determination, Vanya strode on, thankful for the shoes she managed to put on before her escape. Walking barefoot on top of lightly dressed would have meant her death. She could hear an owl hoot somewhere behind her until it flew past her and landed on a branch. "Frigga." She whispered as the bird stared at her with yellow eyes, it's white feathers standing out in the treetops.

"Have you come to take me home, All-Mother? Odin's ravens looked over my son and me on the boat, and now you have come for us. Goddess of mothers and queens, of war, wisdom, and strategy. I beg you, take me home." She begged the hooting white owl that took off and landed on another branch, waiting for the ginger to follow.

Vanya chuckled at the sight and followed after the frequently stopping bird. "This better be Frigga, or I will die. That's your descendant on the line, Odin. Don't let me die, All-father, All-mother."

Everyone stood gathered in the Great Hall in the evening, waiting for what Aslaug had to say. Silas stood in the corner of the room, surrounded by his armed knights. "My brother Ivar was graced with a son three days ago. But his son and wife were ripped away by a murderer, who sneaked into their hut and killed the wet nurse." Bjorn announced watching the faces of everyone present.

Floki and Helga leaned a support beam, both looking grim, while the boatbuilder glared at Silas. Ivar sat next to his mother, with Hoenir standing behind them. Brynja and Margrethe watched the whole ordeal from their place with the other servants and slaves. The other brothers stood behind Bjorn, who towered over the room, reminding all of their father. He carried the same authority even without a crown on his head.

Aslaug lifted her head higher and wrapped his fingers around the armrests of her throne. "The one responsible will answer to the Gods. The more blood they have on their hands, the more dire their demise will be. This person is charged with treason and murder..."

Ubbe left his mother's side while she talked and walked with Floki and Hoenir towards the exits. They barricaded the door while no one was watching. The only way to open them now would be from the outside, where Floki stood watch.

"The return of my daughter in law Vanya is becoming unlikely. A funeral will be held soon to honor her death, Floki has agreed to build a boat to bury her. If she is not found until the ship is done, we shall burn some of her possessions instead."

Stithulf observed the heathens around him; they seemed on edge, ready to pounce at any moment. Of course, Silas was obvious to all this, too distracted by the Queen's speech to notice.

"But, we do know the one responsible for this tragedy." The knights head snapped towards the throne. Everyone grew silent, waiting for Aslaug to continue. "We questioned people and gathered that there is only one possible suspect behind all this. Someone willing to murder a mother and child int heir sleep."

The room was tense as if a war would erupt at any moment. Ivar clenched his jaw before smirking at Silas, who froze in his spot.

"How do you answer these charges... King Silas?" The Saxon's breaths hitched in fear as the knights wrapped their hands around their swords' handles, ready to draw them and kill everyone. But they were outnumbered and locked in with bloodthirsty heathens.

"This is outrageous! I loved my sister. And you are claiming me as a murderer only because you failed to find the real one. My sister is dead because of you!" He roared at the remaining sons of Ragnar and his wife. But they didn't even flinch all the Queen did, was push her shoulders back and raise an eyebrow at his outburst.

"So you claim, but there is no proof. All we saw were spiteful words and tantrums. You bribed farmers to change clothes with your knights; then, you ordered them to kill Vanya and her son. But Margrethe remembered their faces, and it wasn't the faces we see here today." Sigurd called out as the said thrall covered behind Brynja. She confessed this to Sigurd last night, and since then, the Ragnarsson and Aslaug had been plotting.

Silas frowned and shook his head, chuckling. "And do tell me... What would my reason be? Sibling rivalry? Don't be ridiculous. I may not have been overly fond of my sister, I admit. But I wouldn't murder her. And the baby? Son or not, I hold no ill will against either."

"Vanya and her son possessed a threat to you, childless, unfit to rule. But Vanya is loved here, and I am sure she was the same in England. You ordered her death and will die for it. An eye for an eye." Bjorn threatened as Silas gulped and gave an uneasy smile.

He shrugged and spread his arms wide to show he was unarmed and possessed no threat to them, other than his knights who drew their swords. "Let's spare ourselves these dramatics. Vanya is dead, and I am not the culprit. Let's not have a ghost of a disobedient whore get between our agreement."

Ivar slammed his fist against his chair and glared at the daring King. He would have leaped out of his seat and strangled the bastard if it wasn't for Bjorn, Sigurd, and Hvitserk holding him back. "How dare you?" The Ragnarsson roared his nostrils flaring in rage.

Silas pointed to Ivar's legs with a smirk. "Your... Affliction. Do you really think the child was yours? My darling sister would do anything to please you as a proper wife should. And giving you a child, even one that's not truly yours. It would please you. Wouldn't it? To think that you are a real man, able to produce an heir." The blonde Christian taunted as everyone glared at what he was suggesting.

"I did you a favor before things escalated, and you would believe other idiotic lies my sister would have fed you to keep herself alive a little longer. I saved you from further embarrassment and grief. Vanya is dead, and there is nothing to change that." He sounded at peace with his oncoming death. Silas knows he and his knights will die, but might as well anger the heathens some more. Die a horrid death and go down in history as a martyr: Saint Silas, The tortured King.

Stithulf, on the other hand, looked distressed, all the whispering he did, all for nothing. All his hard work wasted on a foolish king with a big ego and greedy heart. His chance at fame and ruling, all gone, because of a ginger Princess who just couldn't stay meek and timid like she was meant to be.

The sound of something shattering broke the tense atmosphere. Everyone looked st the redheaded servant that let her jug of water, fall to the floor. "Vanya." She whispered, her face pale and eyes wide. They followed her gaze and gazed at the open door in shock.

"Why do you think I am dead, Brother?" Vanya's voice rasped out as the ginger leaned against the door frame, a shield pierced with many arrows in one hand. Her hair was frizzy, her skin pale, and her eyes sunken in. Her white dress was stained with bloody some on her shoulder, the rest on her lap, from childbirth.

She took a shaky step forward and shifted her arms slightly. Helga runs to her side, and Floki stood behind her in case she fell. The Ragnarssons run to her while Ivar stared at her in shock. Standing up, Aslaug observed the presumably dead Princess in wonder.

"Helga, you need to look after my son. I tried to keep him warm and fed. Please check him." Vanya pleaded with the blonde woman, letting the shield riddled with arrows fall to the floor. Hidden behind the protection was a bundle of furs and cloak, squirming at the new warm place they entered.

Helga shakily took the babe out of Vanya's trembling embrace to see the child alive and well despite the ordeals he went through. She ushered the child away as Ubbe reached his sister in law, laying a hand on her shoulder to steady her. But she shook it off and slowly advanced towards Silas, who took a few steps towards her as well.

"How? You should be dead." He whispered, still in denial that his plan didn't work.

"I forgave you so much, Silas. So many wounds. I forgave them all, ignored them, and asked my family to ignore them as well. But that ends today. You killed an innocent woman! You tried to kill my son!"

Silas shook his head, refusing to admit defeat against his little sister. His foolish sister, who was born weak and was meant to abide by him. The one who defied him and survived. "You won't hurt me, Vanya. You are weak. Remember your place, and we can forget this. Beg me for forgiveness, and I shall grant it to you. All I want in return is save passage back home. Kill my knights instead."

"You think I will beg? I did nothing to ask forgiveness for! You are a monster, Silas. Just like father and mother said you were. Do you think I will cower before you? Just because you are my brother?" She seethed stalking towards him as Silas drew a dagger and pointed it at her, shaking, fearful of this side of Vanya.

The ginger keeps on advancing, not caring for the weapon pointed at her. The adrenaline running through her veins made her forget what fear feels like at all. All she could see was the man who made her life a living hell and tried to kill her son! "Blessed are the meek, Vanya." He reminded her, hoping that the sentence that their mother used to drill into her head would calm her down, but his sister didn't even blink.

"Yes. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. For theirs is the kingdom of heaven." She spat back a part of the Beatitudes, laughing at his poor attempt at containing her rage. "Do you think the words of Jesus or God will stop me? Do you honestly believe that you will be forgiven? I am past forgiveness and meekness! I want you to pay for my and my son's suffering in blood!"

Silas took a few steps back, his hand shaking like crazy. Vanya was nearly in front of him now, her hand grasped his dagger around the sharp edge, no fear in her eyes. They looked like frozen over fjord's, determination and anger swirling around. She tugged his knife from his grasp and threw it behind her, surprising everyone. Blood dripped from the cut on her palm, trailing down her slender fingers and hitting the floorboards.

"I would burn cities and kingdom's to the ground and make him King of the Ashes if they dared to threaten him!" She screamed at her brother, getting into his face and glaring up at him as he shook in his spot.

"Vanya, please, have mercy. I am your brother. I did it to protect my claim. You must understand. I was born to rule; I deserve to sit on the throne for eternity. Please have mercy." The two siblings stared into each other's eyes, the frozen fjords meeting the tearful sky.

She softly shook her head and softened her angry expression. Ivar crawled towards them, observing the blood-stained dagger and her bleeding hand clenched by her side. "Mercy is a Christian value, and I am not Christian anymore." She hissed backhanding him with her bleeding left hand so hard that he hit the floor.

Silas cradled his aching cheek and stared at Vanya in shock. The ginger glared down at him with disdain obvious in her expression. "That's why I wish you the most painful death instead." She spat at him before two men dragged him away as he cried and cursed at them, begging them to let him go as other Vikings killed his knights when they dared to attack.

Ivar crawled to Vanya's left and took her cold bleeding hand in his, startling her from her trance. She looked down at him tenderly as he looked over her tired body. "I missed you." He whispered, staring up at her with adoration as she returned his tender look, softly smiling.

"I missed you too." Ubbe supported her swaying frame and carried her towards the awaiting healers, thanking the gods for her return, alive and well. Ivar watched her get carried away and spared a glance at the dead bodies of the Saxon knights before he followed his brother and wife.

#vikings #vikings imagine #history vikings #ivar the boneless #ivar imagine #original character #original female character #ivar #ivar lothbrok #ivar ragnarsson #ivar x oc

66 notes · View notes

mcsmmafia · 4 years ago

Text

MC:SM Mafia - Round III 🍪

THE 3RD ROUND OF MAFIA

Story written by Mari

A group of nine village folk were out catching butterflies on a beautiful blue day. One of them saw a pretty butterfly, catching the rest of the humble villager’s curious eyes. The folk left cookie crumbles to make sure they don’t get lost. The butterfly lead them to a big gingerbread mansion, with cookies, cake, and all sorts of sweets! The group looked at the sweets, absolutely famished. The group followed the butterfly into the dining room, finding a beautiful and grand chocolate table, cake scented glowstone, sugar pumpkins, and the most beautiful grand vanilla doors. The group, astonished by all this candy, broke apart the delicious candy covered furniture, as the butterfly floated away. As soon as the winged creature fluttered away, a voice was heard in the walls.

“Come one, come all, for this candy house is free for all, have a feast, what a treat, but in the shadows will emerge a beast.”

The voice was angelic, yet something wasn’t right about it. One of the 9 village folk rushed to the door, only to find the outside cracker paths covered in candy cane wielding zombies. “We’re trapped! What shall we do?”

“Well this is a house covered in delicous food!”

“But but good sir, listen listen! The voice in the walls said a monster will intrude!”

Humble villager folk, it is time.

To find.

THE EVIL WITCH OF THIS MANSION! 🎩

thunder roll

🌑 Results of Night 1:

Radar skulked off to the kitchen to sleep.

Stella first stayed in the entrance hall, but quickly came to the conclusion that zombie had a very loud voice, so she sneaked off to the attic to sleep.

Jesse also stayed in the entrance hall, staring at the zombies outside, waiting that they would slowly but surely eat their way into the house. However, they were dumb and didn't eat straight on one spot, so at dawn they still haven't made a breakthrough. Maybe it's safe in here.

Dan read some edible pages (the font was made of frosting) with his roommate in the library and enjoyed a sweet sleep afterwards.

Harper showed to be an altruistic redstoner who would disable all the traps in the kitchen.

Mevia did the same as Dan.

CASSIE ended up all alone with the candyfloss pillows in the bed chamber... well, dangit. There was nothing else to do than sleep on the gingerbread beds. On the bright side, it was still fresh, so that wasn't too bad.

Stampy spent a bit more time in the entrance hall, but then sneaked off to the attic to have a safe sleep.

☀ Results of Day 2:

Nobody had the guts to vote someone to at least get locked up. Death awaits them...

🌒 Results of Night 2:

Radar just... ate the wall in the attc. Partially. And then went to sleep. I- I don't even wanna ask.

Stella lingered around the living room for a bit, but then went to the attic for the night.

Jesse took the safety route and hid in the attic for their sleep.

Dan huddled up in the sweet sugary candyfloss of the bed chamber. And probably ended up being very sticky. No, I'm not talking about the bed... soon, a giant mass of sugar just fell on his head to bury him! It's a traaap!! Oh well, we'll keep him in sweet memory!

Harper stayed in the kitchen, ate a cupcake or two and went to the land of dreams afterwards.

Mevia was freaked out about Winslow, so she fled to the... dining room. I mean, why not lol. Surely something you wouldn't exspect!

CASSIE sneaked into the secret passage way and set off a trap or two in the bed chamber, and a random one in the gallery. Then she had her killer beauty rest.

Stampy just hang out in the kitchen, feeling sneaky eating a whole cake in just one second where PAMA was not looking, and eventually, je fell asleep. Or he went into coma because eating so much so fast... I'm not sure.

Dan has died!

☀ Results of Day 3:

Stampy made a trade with Stella and gave her an iron sword.

Stella was being quite the detective! Together with Jesse and Mevia, she was able to narrow down a few suspects. For tonight, CASSIE and Mevia were sent to the closet to be guarded by Jesse. And, I guess the rest just settled to ALL go to the KITCHEN!? 😂

🌓 Results of Night 3:

Radar had to move on to the kitchen because he'd otherwise eat a leak in the roof. And it's probably not so comfortable to sleep under the open sky with this storm going on.

Stella was eager to craft a copy of Stampy's iron sword in the kitchen. It took a while to gather all the materials, and she had to be careful to not disturb the others in their sleep. She eventually got finished a few hours before dawn, but just couldn't fall asleep because of the excitement!!

Jesse kept a very close eye to their prisoners, warily clutching their sword. They would not let them doze off for one second.

Harper stayed in the kitchen, not minding the company, and went to bed early.

Mevia also watched her guard Jesse narrowly, effectively spending the whole night on a staring contest.

CASSIE kinda just went with being locked up and forced to stay awake. At least she still had food.

Stampy was not okay with Harper being in the kitchen, so he fled to the attic.

☀ Results of Day 4:

Stella made a trade with Stampy and gave him an iron sword. Jesse gave the Flint & Steel to Radar. Mevia and CASSIE were sent to the closet to be guarded by Stampy.

Seems like they've agreed on two main suspects! Though CASSIE is in way stronger suspection by multiple people. Also... Could y'all stop assembling at one place!?! 😮😂

🌔 Results of Night 4:

Dan's ghost popped up from nowhere in the middle of the night and threatened Cassie a fiery doom, like a horror ride, in Night 5!! Cassie, seriously, you better watch out!! 😮👻🔥

Radar thought about writing a list again, but then realized it was kinda useless since literally everyone was in the attic anyway. So he only went to sleep.

Stella went to the attic to safely theorize about everything. She was still in thoughts as she slowly fell asleep.

Jesse allowed themself a restful night in the attic.

Harper was paranoid of everyone being in the attic with her, and chose to stay awake just in case.

Mevia was salty at her guard for having to stay awake again. No sugar could ease her mind.

CASSIE quielty accepted her fate of becoming a living zombie in the closet.

Stampy showed mercy to his prisoners and only forced them to stay awake... Although the thought of killing them both was sweet.

☀ Results of Day 5:

Mevia has been sent to the closet to be guarded by Stampy.

Discussions were going on... emotions have been raised... perks revealed... but most of the guests still won't commit to either Mevia or CASSIE. So Stella, Stampy and Mevia voted to throw CASSIE out, but they were short by one vote! Sooo annoying!!

🌕 Results of Night 5:

Radar fell safely into the sugary clouds and rested well in the bed chamber.

Stella followed her suspect CASSIE to the kitchen. Ominously, Lluna sniffed diamond nearby! Stella instantly had bets on a diamond axe, so she let Lluna steal it... then she chose to stay awake. However, the night would not go by that easily; it must've been around midnight when Stella abruptly felt a cold hand covering her mouth and throat! She tried to fight back, but the surprise and darkness weakened her mind, and soon, she passed out... Only to awake one more time, and find herself surrounded by calio cats. Not one, not two... three... five, seven, nine!? HOW MANY ARE THERE, HOW MANY, THIS CAN'T BE REAL, THIS MUST BE A BAD DREAM, A NIGHTMARE... a... night... nightmare... in her head.

Jesse went for the bed chamber, but actually wanted to observe the hallway to the gallery, though not having a bow or an arrow. It was... not very eventful.

Harper felt very safe being alone in the attic with PAMA, and took a long nap.

Mevia had to stand the closet imprisonment one more time - and definitely wasn't happy about becoming a regular here. On the bright side, since she is so used to it by now, she fell asleep even though Stampy tried his best to not let her.

CASSIE saw her probably last chance, and took it - she sneaked up behind Stella like a cat, and instantly covered her mouth to prevent any noise. Then she slowly strangled her to unconciousness, and dumped her in the basement. Now the cats would take care of the rest.

Stampy laughed at his prisoner, and tried to force him to stay awake. However, Mevia was mega-tired, and nearly instantly doze off despite standing.

The Last Day ☀

Finally, the guests had a clear lead! After ages of locking up poor Mevia and Stella being captured and terrorized by cats, her pet Lluna stole the solid evidence: A diamond axe, which belonged to CASSIE!! 🪓

They immediately had an emergency meeting at breakfast to discuss how to get rid of CASSIE the safest way. Then, CASSIE showed up for breakfast too - and one single moment of mutual gaze said a thousand words. Everyone stood up as fast as they could, but CASSIE was already running away - and Stampy, Mevia and Jesse rushed after her! (Without Stella, they stayed at the table because they felt a little labile from the nightmares still.)

Mevia swang her diamand axe and sprinted ahead, full of anger and bloodthirst to take their vengeance on Dan. Stampy was following right behind- oh, a CAKE!! Yum-yum!!! 🍰

For some reason, Sea was fleeing so super fast - oh, right! She didn't have her diamond axe on her anymore... Oh noo, she’s gonna escape the mansion before we can even grab her!! 🙁

Quickly, we need to corner her- Jesse tried to shoot ahead, but they were too tired - CASSIE's already at the front door, nuu- but then- CASSIE opened the front door and found Reuben already waiting for her, ready to push her down! In a matter of seconds, Mevia was there, ready to homicidally eliminate CASSIE herself. However, Jesse yelled to throw them out like planned, as they would not be any better to split Cassie in two halves. Mevia sighed grumpily.

They both dragged CASSIE to the center of the front yard, with the help of Reuben. Arrived, they gave CASSIE a deadly stare; Jesse asked if she had any last words. In fact, CASSIE had:

“LONG LIVE MY CATS! Wait, can someone feed them when I-", Mevia pushed her into the zombies, "TAKE CARE OF MY CATS”.

Then they left CASSIE to her fate.

As Jesse hustled to head back inside, they suddenly heard a splash - which sounded nothing like water. They turned around... Mevia was not behind them. In fact, she was in the back, having pulled out her axe which was now bloody. Oh welp... she really wanted to revenge Dan.

Right before the guests left the mansion for good, they found a small paper on the table. It showed where the cats are and what times to feed them. Nobody would give a damn.

(Worst ending ever... 😿)

The guests have won the game! 🍪

#mcsm #episode 6 #mafia

4 notes · View notes

zukofenty · 5 years ago

Text

FWU

➜ Summary: The one where Katara (is sure) she's in love with the campus drug dealer.

“Sokka, I swear! He’s not a drug dealer...he’s just an unlicensed pharmacist!”

➜ Genre: Modern!AU, humor, DrugDealer!Zuko

➜ Words: 2.5k

�� Warnings: I will fight Katara for DrugDealer!Zuko 😩

AO3

“We got the goods!” Katara squeals, throwing down flour, sugar, chocolate chips, and a sack of marijuana.

Suki picks it up, sniffing the plastic bag. “This shit is loud and clear.” Her smile is dangerously devious. “Thanks, Zuko! This is going to be the best 4/20 ever!” Suki immediately begins to grab the proffered ingredients, shuffling them to the kitchen. She’s already taking some of the buds and putting them on a tray to prep in the oven. “Who knew fingering a drug dealer’s asshole would come in handy?”

Zuko immediately turns beet red. “Why do you keep telling people that happened?” Katara slaps Suki upside the head.

“Because I like seeing the two of you squirm, sue me!” Suki admits, shrugging her shoulders and dodging Toph’s slap to her ass.

Katara collapses on her futon, positively spent after spending the day helping Zuko drop off sacks for his clients, while buying all the ingredients they needed for baking edibles to celebrate the holiday.

“Zuko, what the fuck are you doing!” Katara screams, almost losing grip of the wheel.

“How about you make sure your fucking Prius doesn’t eat shit?” Zuko screeches, coming back to his seat after sticking his entire body out the hybrid car.

Katara smacks her forehead. The pain where she hit is almost as bad as the frustration she feels. “This is the exact fucking reason I never get Chipotle with you!” She sees the car that was formerly beside her pulled over at the side of the freeway, the driver clearly angry with how hard he was pounding the pavement with his fist. His entire body is covered in Zuko’s half chicken half barbacoa burrito bowl.

“I’m not going to lie, that was impressive. The NFL’s vag must be positively pulsating,” Katara deadpans, rubbing at her temples to relieve the pressure from forming. Sokka always said her road rage was the worst he’s ever seen, but alas her shouting and occasionally flipping people off could never compare to Zuko’s hotheadedness. Her gut feeling about grabbing an extra bowl paid off, much to her dismay. This was not a rare occurrence. “How did you manage to throw your entire bowl through the crack of his window?”

“Well, the NFL can go eat a dick!” Zuko says, wiping his hands on a Chipotle napkin before taking a sip from his water cup filled to the brim with their lemonade. “And the shit dick had it coming.” He did, Zuko swears. It’s completely his fault for not only playing Michael Buble as loud as his Honda Accord was capable of, but also refusing to use his turn signal, and then screaming “fuck you, pussy hoe!” when Katara honked at him. That bitch.

“Right. Anyways, I’m recalling a conversation we had I think...yes! Two days ago. You’re still thinking about going to therapy, right? You’re moving on from your designated therapy toad?”

Zuko fully turns to face Katara. He accidentally bumps his head on the roof, and proceeds to smack it. “First of all, what makes you say that? Second of all, you know Frank has a name!”

“Not your anger issues, of course.” She doesn’t miss his eye roll. “Also, when you gave me your phone so I could text your uncle that you were going to pick him up, I went through your Youtube search history. Because I care. You deserve better than boxed hair dye tutorials, Zuko. I know you can do better.” At the red light, she grabs Zuko’s shoulder in an almost caring manner. He slaps her tiny hand away.

Zuko was certain he was spending this 4/20 positively baked , so while he waited for everyone to wash their hands so they could whip up his favorite Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies edibles (with a gooey marshmallow middle), he took out his grinder from his hoodie’s pocket.

He grabs at the Sailor Moon bong he bought Katara for the one month anniversary of the time she saved him from being beaten to death by a group of frat brothers. She didn’t nearly like using marijuana as much her friends did, insisting on her maintaining her brain and lung health. She’d never admit to enjoying the cannabliss that came with huffing and puffing out some Mary Jane, but Zuko knows her sleepy smile after taking a hit lets her sleep just the slightest bit better.

Especially now that she’s working nonstop to pay off her tuition this semester. While Sokka was efficiently loaded, his record label was going through a rough patch after a scandal with one of their artists. Apparently, having viral toe sucking videos reflected badly on you as a person, and a number of investors pulled out after the news broke. Sokka was dipping into emergency savings, about to sell the Bugatti, but Katara insisted on taking on a few part time jobs. It breaks Zuko’s heart when he’s the first one to come home to her apartment, even after doing his runs for the night. She’s always blearly, insisting on taking a “quick nap” before she takes off her makeup. He likes feeling useful, when she instantly falls asleep and he’s the one using Micellar Water and a cotton pad to rub off her stubborn mascara of the day.

“I will literally curb stomp the Dean for you,” Zuko tells her, the fire behind his words that makes Katara doubt it was a passing joke.

“Zuko. No.”

He remembers being woken up in the middle of the night, Katara whispering into her phone. He invested in the Sailor Moon pipe after he found out she could only sleep a few hours, before being woken up abruptly from the stress weighing on her mind (her dark circles betrayed her). “I started seeing someone,” Katara mutters, checking over her shoulder to see if Zuko was still sound asleep. She started wincing at the palpable silence that followed.

“As in dating or hallucinations?” Sokka questions, much too loud for her taste.

She sighs. “Don’t get like this! He’s a good guy, I promise. His name’s Zuko.” She hears shuffling on the other side of the line, after the prominent thunk of the phone dropping. “Why does that name sound so familiar? And so colonizer-like…” His voice is filled with suspicion, and she could almost see the cogs in his brain whirring to life. Before she could utter another word, her brother abruptly yelps. “Isn’t he the drug dealer who got beat up on campus?”

Katara sucks in a breath. “How do you know about that?”

“I read the Campus Crime Alert emails the school sends out, idiot! For such an expensive school, you would think they would have better security and less laptop snatchings. By the way, we need to buy you a laptop lock. You still have that self defense knife I sent you?” Sokka angrily whispers in the phone, mocking Katara’s quiet tone.

“Yes, dad !” She hears his irate protests as she flips her body to face Zuko. He looks a few years younger when he sleeps, breathing even and face forgetting the patented scowl. His bare chest and sweatpants hanging low on his hips were enticing. His hair was almost perfectly positioned, the strands messy and unruly but just screamed Zuko . The dangly cross earring doing too much to her heart. Down girl, down! Katara tells her pussy. “Sokka, I swear! He’s not a drug dealer...he’s just an unlicensed pharmacist!”

“I have the email right here! Right here! And tell me what about ‘student being violently attacked due to drug related incidents ’ doesn’t scream drug dealer getting beat up for drug dealing !” Katara bites down on her tongue, whether to hold back a laugh or scream she wasn’t completely sure.

Suki takes a hit from her Hello Kitty dab pen, a white, bedazzled one that Zuko had gotten her. Toph and Katara also had matching Hello Kitty dab pens, in green and blue respectively. She thinks Zuko has one in red, too. She added a second layer of soy lecithin to the weed infused mixture, before popping it in the oven again for another 30 mins.

In the meantime, Katara was preparing the ingredients for the cookies. Zuko’s laying on the ground, narrowly missing the futon, eyes glazed over. He hasn’t moved in the past twenty minutes. “Katara, that isn’t the hand mixer, that’s your vibrator .” Suko gently chastises, moving the device from her lax hands. Katara always complained her hands were numb when she was high, and once dropped a mug from their balcony after they packed a bowl together for the first time. Suki is still bitter. It was her favorite Gudetama mug.

After freezing the mixture for two hours, Suki, Toph, and Zuko were hard at work, mixing ingredients, and preparing to get fucked up. A few people have stopped by the apartment to exchange plastic bags for cash.

“Are you turning Katara’s apartment into a dispensary? ” Toph is absolutely incredulous.

“That’s a loaded question with an answer very much open to interpretation…” Zuko ducks the house slipper Toph propels to his face.

Katara has a dumb smile on her face, wide and threatening to split her head open. She’s an avid texter when she’s baked.

Katara: What are you doing right now? Come over! Zuko’s got apology weed for you <3

Jet: I’m at McDonald’s!! Kinda of high lol

Katara: Ooo you got the munchies?

Jet: Nah

Katara: how come?

Jet: I smoke meth lmaoooo

“Who are you texting?” Zuko asks, plopping next to her spot on the floor. She’s sprawled out, hair every which way and tangling into already unruly knots he’s going to have to detangle in the morning for her. Because Katara’s a lightweight, and suffers from weed hangovers regularly. Zuko’s already recovered from his many hits at the Moon Stick pipe.

“Did you know Jet smokes meth?”

Zuko rolls his eyes, curling up and trapping Katara with his outstretched embrace. “I really thought he would like my I’m sorry weed.”

“Me too.” He kisses the pout off of her.

Katara steadily crawls up (Zuko doesn’t miss her sleep shorts riding up) and tries her best to help Toph mix the marshmallow and Cinnamon Toast crunch mixture being heated up in their big pot they stole from Katara’s neighbor.

When Katara grabs the hand mixer to try assisting the cookie batter, Zuko knew he had to intervene lest something explodes. She smiles when he surrounds her with his body, the warm weight of his chest against her back and his hand wrapping around hers on the mixing device.

He loves her, he’s sure. Even while they roll the cookies together she tries to be funny (when she clearly knows she isn’t) and throws the dough at him, and it lands in his hair. He’s sure she peed herself with how hard she was laughing and scrambling to find the bathroom when her eyes could barely open.

Zuko shuts down his phone when the sweet scent of the pastries flood his nostrils. Even if 4/20 is like his version of Christmas, he’s determined to spend it with his girl. “I think my pussy just gave out. That shit looks dank ,” Katara squeals, shaking Toph by the shoulders to emphasize her point.

“Thanks for the visual,” Toph says, looking devious and wholly prepared to get stoned.

“I could beat his ass if I needed to,” Katara loudly whispers in Suki’s ear. At this point, they were all laying down on the floor, the familiar tingle of an impending high at the forefront of their minds.

“Katara, you’re staring at a poster of 11 year old Frankie Muniz.” Suki shakes the girl off her. “Why do you always say that about any guy you see, sober or not?”

Zuko’s the most sober of them all, but based on the fact he killed a few joints on his own, he thinks he’s about to die. Toph’s on the balcony, weary of the smoke detector. She comes back in after repeatedly coughing, pounding at her chest to lessen the pain. She promptly lays on the floor with the rest of them, stupidly smiling.

Zuko sits, leaning on the futon for support. He pulls Katara into his lap, and she’s pliant, immediately melting in his hold. Hands coming out to wrap around his neck. “Check your school portal,” he says into her ear. She laughs at the sensation.

“Why?” She’s breathless, when he rubs comforting circles into her back. Zuko finds her phone, thrown carelessly on the futon, before gingerly handing it to her. After she types in the login information, she gasps, the sound reverberating through the room. Zuko blushes, and rubs the back of his neck gingerly.

“Happy 4/20, baby,” he presses a sweet kiss to her hair, wiping away the pricks of tears appearing at her eyes.

“ You’re lying !” She couldn’t believe her eyes, and thinks she’s a little dizzy from how many times she zooms in and out of the tuition financial statement. “You’re fucking lying!” The bill, formerly with a nauseating number of zeros was now only $0.00. “How?” she splutters, even spitting in her haste.

“Toph knew your portal login, so I just kind of...paid it off?” He’s doing the thing where he’s rubbing at his neck and looking shy, and so so positively adorable . The sheepish look he gives her makes it known that she was screwed . So absolutely in love. “I want you to not worry about it. Save the money from your job for something else.” The kiss she slams against his lips nearly knocks his breath away.

“So what’s your plan, after paying all this off?” Zuko remembered Toph asking, after she entered Katara's password.

“After this, she’s catching all this ball juice. Going to suck her eggs out her ovaries like it’s boba. I’ll even use the straw and everything,” Zuko says, entering the pin of his debit card.

“You know what. She should have let you die that night.”

“Who knew there would be perks to dating a drug dealer?” Toph teases. “Girls be so single and then boom ! Baby shower pictures with some drug dealer in a Burberry shirt and Nike Air Maxes.”

Suki groans. “Toph, I swear. You are a hindrance to society.”

“Well, you’re a cunt!”

She shoves the smaller girl. She gets up to face Katara, still staring at her phone in shock. Her hair is a bird’s nest after growing two sizes two large and painfully matted. “You know, we thought we were bad friends for letting you date a drug dealer with mommy and daddy issues. We just sat there and prayed that our ‘we’re so happy for you guys!’ was convincing. But, I kind of like him.”

“Thanks for the support,” Zuko grumbles.

“Anytime!” The two say, perfectly synchronized.

“Like MJ doctor, they killing me,” Zuko sighs, dropping his head in the crook of her neck, defeated. Katara’s heart nearly bursts because he’s so cute . A big bad drug dealer, but she still was squeezing at his cheeks like they were mochi, and he was dumbly smiling back.

“Why do you always quote Nicki Minaj lyrics when you’re high?” She thinks she can’t feel her face, the excessive smiling numbing her features.

He’s bombed, stomach growling from getting the munchies and devouring an entire box of Suki’s Wheat Thins cereal and he thinks he feels his heart about to explode. Whether it’s Katara’s sweet, sweet smile, or her body pressing to his, he’s not sure. She’s soft and perfect and everything he could have asked for. He’s sure he’s in love, the type of love that was dangerous and stupid and promised to consume him whole. Yet, he’s all but offered his heart on a silver platter to Katara. Her presence in his life was a constant he was willing to fight to keep.

“I love you,” he mumbles against her lips.

“I know.” She stares into his eyes, before grabbing his hand. “I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

She pokes his chest in protest.

“Say it again, please?” Zuko begs, voice whiny. Her kiss was an adequate confirmation of the sentiment.

#zutara fanfiction #zuko x katara #zuko #katara #zutara fanfic #zutara #atla

8 notes · View notes

paepsi · 6 years ago

Text

EXO as dumb shit I’ve done, EXPLAINED:

Suho:

See this picture here? This is me before the moving team. I was so fucking proud of myself for strapping the base of the chair to my roof (it wouldn’t fit through the trunk of me smol hatchback). I thought it was funny that it kinda looked like a kip-pah and asked my friend to take a pic for me here (see my lil peace sign next to my face? im v happy of my jew car). Little did I know that after driving to my new apartment with the whole moving team from IKEA unloading shit from the truck, I would be stuck in the fucking car. I didn't have a knife or scissors to cut the strings and I didn't want to make my dumb assery to be noticed; so instead of asking for help... I climbed out the front window and almost fell flat on my ass. When I stood up and turned around, the whole moving team was just standing there looking at me. The assholes knew I was stuck and let me suffer.

Kris & Kai:

so these moments both happened in the same night. I went to a house warming party for my friend and I didn't know what to bring as a gift, so I just bought two big bags of Hawaiian bread. Now throughout the night, the more I drink, the more impulsive I get.

I started putting the bread on people's shoulders, slowly piling them up until they noticed. Everyone was pretty wasted so there was no surprise when I had a stack of 4 1/2 buns (I ate half) on my friends shoulder. Anyways- fast forward into the night, I'm craving sweets, so I walk into my friends kitchen and find a jar of cookies. At the time I thought it was a brilliant idea to just put the Hawaiian bread in there so the kitchen looked full; a fair exchange, if you will. At least that's what I thought... I found pictures from the party and it turns out I just ended up putting in a half eaten bun sjzjsj

Fast forward into the morning of the next day, I’m hungover and I wake up wearing mismatching socks (one is mine, the other I have no idea).

I needed to get home because I had work later that day, so I hop into my car and start driving home. The whole time there was this annoying beeping sound that I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. I had such a bad headache that I pulled over to see what the fuck was wrong. I got out of my car, checked the wheels, checked the under the hood, then hopped back inside. I was so frustrated that I banged my head on the steering wheel and just rested my eyes for a sec. When I opened them to look straight ahead at my dashboard, the brake light was glowing bright red. I cried.

Chanyeol:

One summer evening, I was hanging with my sister and her friends around a campfire. We were roasting marshmallows, drinking, having a good time etc. Eventually later into the night we started getting bored and one of my sister’s friends suggested playing hot potato with the coals from the fire. We’re all game like FUCK YEAH LETS DO THIS. Then we start tossing it around and realize that it’s way too fucking hot, so instead of tossing it’s just everyone spiking the coal to the next person. FYI, I have terrible hand eye coordination and I wasn’t wearing my glasses that night. Every single time the coal was spiked my way it would miss my hand and fly straight into my hair. The next day I woke up, looked in the mirror, skipped breakfast and headed straight to the salon. still looked cute or w/e so I ain’t mad

Kyungsoo:

Ahhhh, this one is actually pretty personal and happened not too long ago! My mom finally left this dirt bag she’d been married to for the past 16 years. When I say dirt bag, I mean a manipulative, abusive piece of shit. My mom was so tired during her session with the mediator for when they were deciding who was getting what; she took 30-45 minutes to talk alone with them and he took 3 fucking hours putting on this sick sob story. The mediator was so done with him too that they just let him do whatever he wanted. That meant he had the “right” to pick and choose what belonged to him in our apartment. The fucker took EVERYTHING. He took the furniture, the bedroom sets, all the electronics, the spices- HE DOESN’T EVEN COOK. However, a week before then, I bought a huge bottle of vanilla. I needed it to make edible cookie dough, which I was doing everyday out of stress. The day before he finally moved out, I came home from work to see everything wrapped/packed up. I started to get worked up and went to the kitchen to make my cookie dough. When I opened the cabinet to get my vanilla and saw it completely empty, I lost it. I literally screamed and started tearing up all the boxes, finding more shit that belonged to me and stopped when I finally found my vanilla. I went back to the kitchen, happily made my cookie dough and kicked back on "his” couch with my dirty shoes on. Later that night, the asshole came home and screamed at me. I shut him up tho when I told him I’d suffocate him with a pillow in his sleep if he dared to touch me or any of my things ever again. He didn’t stay in the apartment that night lol

Baekhyun:

I think this one might be my favorite story. It all started when a package from my mom in the mail never showed up even though the UPS tracking said it had already arrived on my doorstep. I assumed in meant the package was stolen and got really bummed about it since it had some essential items in there. My roommates felt bad and decided to cheer me up by throwing a house party (woohoo! cue the alcohol!). It started at like 3pm and went on all the way until 4 am the next day. Somewhere within that time frame while it was still light outside, slightly tipsy, I found a ladder on the side of the house and had a strong urge to follow it up to the top; and who am I to deny every desire that comes across my pea sized brain. I was half-way up to the roof when one of my roommates spotted me (let’s call him Big Ned; there were two guys named Ned in our house so we just called them Big Ned and Little Ned; Big Ned is like 6′3″ and Little Ned is like 5′4″). Big Ned started yelling at me to get down and I told him I couldn’t because it was my destiny to reach the top. He decided that there was no use arguing with me and ended up following me to the roof (even though he’s afraid of heights; bless his BFG heart). He’s kinda hard to miss, so when he started making his way up to the roof with me, it grabbed a lot of attention. Some joined us. Meanwhile, I decided to walk around and look into my neighbors yards. I saw a mess of papers in one of the alleys between our houses and joked “lmao that’d be funny if that was my package”. We laughed for a bit then looked a little closer until we realized oh fuck that’s my package. My body moved on it’s own and just kinda scrambled across the roof trying to figure out the fastest and least painful way to get off the roof. Thank the stars for Big Ben holding me back by the collar of my shirt and preventing me from jumping down onto the neighbors fence. Little Ben ended up running over and jumping the fence to get it for me. We still don’t know how it got there.

Tao:

In middle school, I had to go on this field trip to some ranch out in the countryside of Texas. I remember we were all huddled into a barn with a big stage in the back. The teachers grabbed a mic and got on stage to talk about who knows what. Idk I wasn’t paying attention, talking to my friend, in my own world. When the mics go off, everyone starts chattering. At that moment in time, I was extremely preoccupied with my shoelaces when I got a tap on my shoulder from my homeroom teacher. I think she was mad at me for not listening and told me to head up to the stage along with a few other students making their way over. Being in front of others makes me nervous, but when the teachers put a bib around my neck before I got on stage, I was too confused to think of anything else. When another teacher started handing out baby bottles filled with Gatorade to each student on stage, I had to stop them to ask what was going on. And what do ya know, I’m in a baby bottle drinking contest. Before I had time to ask any more questions, they were already counting down to start. Now listen, I’m not the type of person to back down from a challenge so ofc you know I’m gonna suck the soul out of this bich. The reason I can say this confidently is because up until I was 11 years old, I always drank out of baby bottles when I got home from school. I just really liked the feeling?? For me, nothing beat chilling on the couch, watching Teen Titans and drinking fresh cold orange juice from a baby bottle on a hot summer day. Idk but I guess it came in handy since I finished a 24oz bottle under 35 seconds. The rest of the kids weren’t even close to half way through. There’s a picture of me at the back of my school year book holding up the baby bottle like a trophy.

Sehun:

Remember my sisters friends from the campfire? Well I spent a good long summer hanging with her friend group and ended up getting kinda close to this one of the guys (let’s call him Jake). I have a really broad range of music taste and I guess he digged that so we talked a lot about music together. By the end of the summer, Jake threw a party at his house and invited me over. Ngl I wanted some dick so ofc I’m gonna go all out and break out my hot leather Madonna outfit. I head out with my sis and the house is packed by the time we get there. The whole time we’re pretty much just hanging out, drinking and dancing the night away. Some time passed 1 am (I think), I’m sorta outside making out with Jake on the side of his house. It’s getting really hot and heavy. When we finally broke apart for air, he told me he though he was in love with me. I’m screaming internally, panicking and I don’t know what to do. I could tell from way before that he really liked me, but I didn’t think it was to that extent. It doesn’t help exactly that I don’t feel the same way for him. Don’t get me wrong! He was really hot and sweet, but I just couldn’t see myself with him. So what did I tell him? Nothing. My dumb ass was in such a panic that all I could think of was that I needed to run. I did. I ran back into the house, out the front porch, spotted his skateboard and took off. I didn’t really know where I was or where I was going but somehow I ended up at the train station and eventually found my way back home.

Xiumin:

On my 21st birthday, my roommates took me out to a really nice, 5 star restaurant in the city we lived. They're buying me all the drinks I want cause heck I'm finally legal! Now, I think y'all can see a pattern of what happens when I drink. So when Big Ned got a glass of scotch and I had just finished off my last sip of wine, I wanted some too. I asked him to share, using "it's my birthday" to get my way. Ever the gentleman, Big Ben pours half his glass into my wine glass and keeps his raised for a cheers. The whole group joins in and with a shout of Mozeltov, I slam the wine glass down on the table and toss it back. It wasn't until I finished the last drop and tried to set my glass back on the table that I realized I snapped the stem in half. No one spoke, except for Little Ned, softly, "did you... did that really just happen?" Yeah. Yeah it did. Thankfully the restaurant agreed to keep the broken glass off the bill as long as I left the restaurant immediately.

Chen:

On a Saturday night, I met up with a good friend of mine that I hadn’t seen in months. We bought some snacks and drinks then drove to a marina near my apartment (new place in California). The whole night we spent catching up and throwing rocks in the water. I was still a little tipsy when it was time to go home and my friend ended up driving me back. On the way back, I opened a bag and snacked on some pizza flavored goldfish. I was about a fourth of the way through the bag when I decided I didn’t like it anymore and started tossing them out the window. We pull up to a stop light and my friend is trying to make me stop by rolling up the window, but I stick my leg out before he could close it. Next he tries to compromise and said if I wasn’t going to eat the goldfish, I should just put the bag down and remove my leg from the window. My tipsy ass told him no, I was handing out free food. I turned to look at the car next to me, asked (yelled) if they wanted any goldfish and held out the bag to them. I guess the dude thought it was funny and was just like “yeah sure why not, lifes too short to not eat goldfish from a stranger at a stoplight” alksdjflskdj

Lay:

When I was about 6 years old, I lived out in the suburbs of Fulshear, Texas. The community is really tiny and everyone knew each other. One time, I was playing hide and seek with my siblings, and decided to hide under my moms bed. While I was waiting for my brother to come find me, I fell asleep. A couple hours later I wake up and it’s dark out. The house is empty. I’m calling out to see if anyone is home, checking all the rooms. I thought maybe everyone decided to tag me “it” since I passed out. After a while of not finding anyone, the phone rings and I pick up. It’s my mom sounding out of breath calling to see if anyone found me and took me back to my house. Turns out I had actually been knocked out for 6 hours. Not being able to find me during hide and seek for 2 hrs, my siblings went to get my mom who also started looking for me. After another hour and no luck, she called our neighbors across the street to see if I went over to play with their kids. Ofc they said no and said they would call some other people in the neighborhood to find out if they'd seen me. A few hours later, the whole neighborhood was out looking for me. Meanwhile I'm at home chilling on the couch watching Teletubbies and eating goldfish (the original babey).

Luhan:

My dad took me and my siblings to the beach almost every summer in elementary school. We would always stay at this Holiday Inn right across the street from the sands. At night, we would go “hunting” for crabs with a flashlight and a fishnet. But on some nights when my dad was too tired to go out, my siblings and I would hang in the kids room at the hotel. We were fooling around and just being kids. Then we found a big case filled with tubes of paint. I was excited to do some finger painting but before I could reach for a tube, my brother stopped me to say he had an idea. He dared us lay down our sheets of paper and paint them by jumping on the tubes. Being the youngest of four, I thought this was a brilliant idea and immediately got to work. Set my paper down and lined up the colors I wanted to use. I jumped.... Only a spec of paint made it onto the paper... The rest beautifully decorated the off-white walls of the kids room. We all just froze because oh my stars we’re gonna be in so much trouble. Turning to each other, we made a very strong pinky promise to not tell a soul what happened. The next day when we returned to the kids room, the case was gone, faded splotches of green and purple remained on the walls, and a big paper taped above reading “NO PAINTING ALLOWED”.

Fun fact: my eldest sister used to write about my adventures for her creative essay homework’s in middle school.

15 notes · View notes

onemansbaddatinglife · 5 years ago

Text

June 2020 - The Onlyfans girl

*BECAUSE THERE’S AN ACTIVE POLICE REPORT, I’M NOT GOING TO SHARE HER NAME* To start this off, I want to make it clear. I have nothing against onlyfans or adult content creators. I believe everyone should be able to do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t impede on the freedom of others. This chick, it started out rough. 3 days in and she blocked me. I felt really bad because I wanted a date, and she just wanted to sell content to get money to feed her kids. So I went and subbed to her onlyfans. Didn’t look at it. A few days later I have an email, a message from her, we talk for a bit and she reveals she was dating a guy and deleted her content for him. But he used her for sex and ditched her. I felt bad, so I sent her a line from a song that I’ve been trying to live by; “Give your heart, but keep your head.” This makes us click. She has a love for music lyrics too. We talk for awhile and start getting close. She opens up about her past and her current situation. Her birthday was on June 26th and her and her best female friend were gonna go to Colorado. Her ex husband refuses to pay the daycare bill and says she’ll need to cancel her trip. She’s heart broken. I feel bad so I send her the money to pay for their daycare. Whatever. She text him and says “Its okay, my man just paid for it.” A couple days after she gets home, at 1:30 in the morning on a Monday night, she asks me to come over. She lives an hour away, but I run over. We sit in my car and talk for a bit. She gives me a baggy of edibles. We end up making out a little, then I go home. I don’t think I got home until 4am, and I start work at 9am. A few days past and we continue to talk. Now she’s saying she’s falling for me’ and all that. We plan a get-away night for her birthday. Dinner and a night at a hotel with movies and tv. I figured at this point, I’m okay with just snuggling and watching movies. If it turns to more, great. But we’ll be high on edibles and just enjoying each other. That Friday, a 5pm (an hour before I get off work) she text me that her period started and her friend scammed her for like $200 by not paying a bill. I try to help her calm down and direct her on how to talk to the cable company. She’s non-compliant. Hysterically breaking down and that was that. She asks to cancel the date. I was hurt, but understood.I cancel the hotel and offer to still take her to dinner. She says no. We sort of have a bit of a large argument. I was always raised that relationships need communication to work. I tell her that I wanna talk about things and explain stuff that’s been bothering me. we talk about it for an hour, and all seems well. I go off to my cousins to chill, but she ends up texting me and bringing it back up, causing a huge fight between us. I’m annoyed, but she’s cute, I’ll let it slide. The next day (Saturday) she suddenly says she needs to see me TONIGHT. I’m excited. I leave on time and get a call halfway there. She’s not feeling well, she just wants to eat and go home. Again, she lives an hour away. So 2 hour round trip excluding time spent there. Annoyed but excited to see her, I say okay. We meet up, it goes great. We’re flirting, etc. She’s texting a bit much but I let it slide because before I worked IT, I was addicted to my computer and couldn’t live without it. I get what it feels like to need social media. Anyways, we eat, I take her home, we kiss twice, that’s the end of it. I drive home, and I think I went to be early. (Sunday) I wake up and text her. She’s acting a bit weird. I bring it up and she tells me “Its too soon to be having this many problems.” Which I agree with. At this point, I’m over it. I just say “Mk” and leave her be. Eventually she text back and it goes into a huge fight. She’s one of the people that loves to tell you what your problem is, but her problems are actually your problems you’re projecting onto her. Lol. Okay, I’m not doing that. She gets mad and starts screenshotting private chats we’ve had. I panic and start doing the same. I keep asking what she’s screenshotting, and she’s leaving me on read. Eventually she shows me and its the exact things I was worried about. In retaliation, I screenshot google maps of her address and send it to her. (Remember, I’ve been seeing her and picking her up for dates.) She freaks out. She starts claiming I’m threatening her and her kids. Which is not true. I tell her the only reason I did that was because she was threatening to leak my stuff, so I wasn’t going to sit around and be defenseless. I told her now we both have ammo, and we can call a cease fire. Lets forget we ever talked and move on with our lives. I told her I don’t want to break her heart or want this to end uglier than it needs to. I just wanna forget all of this. Chat goes silent. I go and work on my car for a few hours, buy some new headlights, whatever. Just moving on and doing my thing to distract myself. I get home, go to bed, and suddenly I’m woken up by text at 2am. She’s still freaking out at me. I tell her “Bro just leave me alone. We’re done.” She keeps saying she’s scared. I get annoyed and block her. I finally get back to sleep at 6am, and wake up at 8:55ish. I go to my morning work meeting. After the meeting I get a friend request on facebook. Oh boy, its her baby daddy. I don’t know this dude so I decline it, but I send him a message to see whats up. Mind you, she’s 30, I think he’s 30. They’re both felons with drug abuse charges and shit. Whatever. The baby daddy starts claiming I “Threatened her with a gun picture” and that “he’s on his way to me”. I tell him “Come ‘n get it.” He sends 2 hearts, and then silence. Because of the fact she’s telling people I threatened her with a firearm, which I take very seriously, I contacted the police. They came by and took a police report, but said unless he shows up they can’t do anything. I let them know that I’m not looking to have anyone arrested or anything ridiculous. I’m just wanting there to be a note with a third party (such as the police department) so that if something were to happen, they can look back on that. I’ve blocked them both on facebook and told my friends the story. They always joked that I should start a blog regarding my ridiculous dating antics as they feel they’re “like a movie.” So that’s what I’m doing. **UPDATE** Called again at 3:30am (6/30/2020) from a *67 number.

0 notes

donghyxns · 7 years ago

Text

Hunger Games! au | Park Woojin (3)

this is so so so long!!!!!!! beware of that lol

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

“then we talked about all the ways i could brutally murder you in order to get more sponsors”

that knocked the breath out of you

just a few hours ago he was kissing you, giving you the most protective glances and now he is revealing that he was just doing that to gain trust?

fuck

it actually worked tho

“park woojin, who do you think you ar-”

he cuts you off with a pat on the head, “i will see you tomorrow in training. sleep well.” he gives you a small peck on your cheek

what thE FRICK

you were confused

all you knew was that you fell hopelessly in love with park woojin in a short amount of time and all he wants to do is to murder you

the hunger games is royally fucked

the next day in the training arena was incredibly scary

chungha looked like she was literally going to murder you (which she was in a couple of days)

every time you looked in her general direction, she threw a knife and it always stuck in the left eye

one moment she threw the knife and looked directly at you

“this is going to be you in a couple of days and lover boy won’t be able to save you”

THAT SENT LITERAL SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE

you looked over at woojin who just chuckled evilly

it was like they were working together???

you felt so alone and scared while practicing how to differ between poisonous berries and edible ones

“that berry is poisonous, you would be dead in a minute”

the somewhat deep, raspy voice from behind you shocked you

“what’s it called?” you ask the attractive boy

“night berry” he smiles up at you

jesus why are all the boys around you suddenly hot??

“you are ____ from district 11 right?”

“yeah” you nod your head looking up at him

“my name is hwang minhyun, i’m from district 4″ he gives you the cutest smile and wowza you felt yourself melt

he leans in closer with a mischevious smile gracing his lips

“dont look now, but your little lover boy looks to be mad at this interaction” minhyun leans back and smiles at you

he mouths ‘look now’ after a couple a second and when you do you feel your heart swell

woojin had narrowed his eyes over at the two of you and his neck was beginning to turn red

you look back at minhyun and the two of you share a good hearty laugh

you havent laughed since a day before the reaping

you and daehwi were hanging out and he slipped on the wooden floor in his house

causing him to fall and knock over this expensive vase (3 whole dollars,,, it was a lot in your district okay...)

the look of pure terror and shock on his face made you double over in laughter as he hurriedly swept it up

“thank you, minhyun” you smile at him and he gives you a confused look

“for what?”

you sigh, grabbing the rope next to you, “i haven’t laughed like that since the day before the reaping”

minhyun suddenly clapped his hand, startling you

“thats right! you volunteered for the daehwi kid, right?”

you nod your head

minhyun grabs your wrist, “that was a very brave thing to do. if that was me in that situation i wouldnt be able to do it.”

before you could respond the bell rang signalling everybody it was 7:00 PM and that you needed to go back to your pent houses

the elevator ride up with woojin was extremely awkward, to say the least

he finally broke the awkward silence

“why are you talking to minhyun?”

you shake your head, “ why do you suddenly care all of a sudden?”

woojin scoffs, arms crossing, “minhyun will bring you nothing but harm! he is the most wanted tribute other than you! you will die by just hanging near him”

you turn towards him, scowl present on your face, “woojin, i’m going to die no matter what. why can’t i have a friend in this fucking game before i die?”

woojin slams his hand against the elevator wall, “god damn it, am i not your friend?”

you look at him with an incredulous look, “friend? woojin if you don’t recall, last night you told me you were acting sweet so you could gain my trust and then murder me. i don’t classify that as a friend”

woojin grabs your shoulders, “seeing you with minhyun made me realize how much i dont want to kill you”

weird wording

but i mean it is the hunger games

“what do you mean by that?” you pushed away your confused feelings about the wording

woojin licks his lips, “i have a crush on you”

crush???

are we in middle school??????

apparently, BECAUSE YOUR HEART IS RACING

you decide to challenge your feelings though, “how do i know you arent just lying?”

woojin smiles

your heart stops for a second you sweAR

“if i didn’t would i have cut off my ties with chungha and put a huge target on my back?”

shit

you did realize woojin and chungha did talk at the end of class and she looked royally pissed off at him

the elevator doors dinging open snapped the two of you out of your little trance

you talked about this briefly over dinner and you concluded that you were going to trust woojin again

but you were also going to stay on high alert to make sure you didnt get played

the next two days of training went by fairly smooth

you got closer to minhyun despite woojins protests and you and woojin got a little more “intimate”

it was a little weird

the two of you would sleep in the same bed and cuddle for hours on end until you were called to breakfast

before getting up you would share a quick peck on the lips

but then after that, you two were complete strangers

the both of you would act like you didnt know each other

maybe woojin was ashamed? maybe this was all part of his plan? who knows

all you knew was that you were happy when the two of you spent time

but that was cut soon

it was the day of the hunger games

24 people go in and only 1 person is victorious

jesus that scared you

you and woojin were cuddling on the rooftop, looking up at the stars

he was playing with your soft hand

his breathing was steady and it calmed you down

“woojin, i’ll be dead in 4 days.... you know this right?” you look up at him and he shakes his head

“no, i won’t let you die. i will protect you until the very end”

“what if it is just the two of us? would you kill me then?” he lets out a troubled sigh

“of course not”

lie

“i would kill myself for you”

lie

“my life isnt even worth living anymore”

lie

all of those were lies spewing out of woojins mouth and you knew that very well

“woojin what are we?” you ask one last question

woojin kisses the back of your hand, “we are boyfriend and girlfriend”

the morning came too soon

you felt the knot in your stomach again and you felt like you could barely breathe

your whole body was shaking and sweating

you couldnt calm your nerves

you and woojin were separated as soon as the sun came up for “personal reasons”

you were sat in a room as you waited for the countdown to start

your knee was bobbing up and down as you watched the tv screen in front of you

one of the tips was: “don’t step off the platform before the countdown as it will blow you up”

that really settled you

a deep voice started to countdown “30...29...28...27...26″

you stood up while taking a deep breath

the tube in the room opened up and you took that as an incentive to go ahead and step in it

the tube closed soon after you got in, sensing your body weight

you try to even out your breathing but your body doesnt respond

you are still shaking when the platform shoots up

suddenly you are in the middle of an open field, cornucopia full of goodies in the middle

you look around and spot minhyun

he gives you a thumbs up and a small smile

he mouths, ‘i will get us some bags, you need to run!’

you nod, this calming your nerves slightly

your gaze shifts over to woojin and he looks not in the least bit scared

it throws you back to the first day the two of you met and he said, “i’m ready to die. that’s why i looked so relieved during the reaping”

woojin meets your gaze and smiles a cute smile

you feel good about this whole situation when you realize you have both minhyun and woojin on your side

you look directly beside you and you see chungha looking at you

she smirks when she meets your gaze, motioning that she was going to strangle you as soon as the canon went off

“10...9...8...7...6...5″

your ears started ringing and your eyes glossed over

you were panicking suddenly

the feelings of good left your body when you realized, well shit, i really am going to die

you heard the cannon go off and your legs automatically moved to the forest behind you

before you got too far, someone tackled you with a screech

they flipped you over and you were met with the one and only kim chungha

her thin hands wrapped around your throat cutting off the oxygen

“this is what you get for stealing woojin away from me, you little bitch!” her other hand raised up and she slapped you hard

your hands reached up and scratched at her

her hands loosened up slightly giving you the chance to breathe and scream out

“minhyun!!! minhyun!!!!!!” you scream out, fear filling your system

her hands grasped tightly around your throat once more and your vision started to turn white

you saw daehwi’s smiling face and you heard your mom’s laughter

your body started to relax once you accepted the fact that you were dead

honestly,,, it wasnt that bad

you felt so relaxed and your mind was wandering to all the good things that happened in your life

you were about to close your eyes but suddenly the pressure on your neck loosened up

someone was grabbing at your body, throwing you over their shoulder

“_______?!? are you okay?! i will protect you no matter what!”

“t-thank you...” you breathe out, not knowing who the person was and you knocked out right after that

you feel wet when you first open your eyes

there was a slight dripping sound echoing throughout the area you were at

you try to sit up but you groan in pain when you try

a hand pushes you back down softly, “dont strain yourself”

“m-minhyun?” you ask

you hear a deep chuckle and with that, you can confirm that it was indeed minhyun

woojin had a high pitched laugh

oh shit

was woojin okay?

“how long was i knocked out for? is woojin okay? are you okay?”

minhyun laughs once again, “woah, woah slow down there... you were knocked out for 2 days, we only have 2 more days to kill 12 tributes. woojin is fine but so is chungha, so we need to watch out for them. i’m perfectly fine. the bags i picked up had good fishing equipment, ointment, ropes, and some packaged berries. i also found 2 knives. we are in good shape.”

you breathe out a sigh of relief

“w-wait.... why do we have to look out for woojin and chungha?”

minhyun lets out a sigh that bounces off the walls of the cave

“they are working together to find us and kill us”

(final part will be out tomorrow)

#wanna one scenarios #wanna one park woojin #park woojin scenarios #produce 101 scenarios #produce 101 #brand new music scenarios

106 notes · View notes

themiddlelayer · 5 years ago

Text

I’m an idiot...

And an oxytocin junkie. And it’s killing me. Seriously.

I’ve been in my apartment for a full week now and I’m as moved in as I’m getting for now. There are still a few little stupid things I need like a step ladder and the nails to hang my Frida print but otherwise, things are functioning and I’m comfortable. That’s the easy part.

The hard part? The loneliness. I’ve never lived alone... I had my Kiddo and/or a husband/boyfriend/roommates since I left home at 16. When I lived at home, I was alone all the time... I didn’t have any real connection to my family of origin so I spent most all of my time beginning around age 10 alone in my room. I felt like an outsider in my own home, so I made my bedroom my sanctuary. It was always clean, vaccummed, dusted and in order. The rest of the house was always dirty and as chaotic as a household of 3 (me, my father and my younger brother) could be.

I know that’s the root of my need to be in a relationship. I grew up alone and never felt like I was part of my family so I’ve spent my entire life trying to build one of my own... and failing over and over. Knowing that doesn’t change how hard it is to be single and how scary this feels. Knowing I’m capable, strong, financially stable enough.. none of that stops me from waking up in the morning and crying... feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin just to not be here.

The dark twisty thoughts have started to creep in and I’m doing everything I can to fight it off and keep myself safe. I’m safe right now. And I know what I need to do... but it’s exhausting to constantly push away those thoughts and keep going. Keep showing up for “work” and answering messages from people... people who genuinely love me and want to see me happy and healthy.

I’m in that place where I’m afraid of exhausting Cookie with my stuff because she’s the only person I’m really comfortable with seeing me like this in real life. She’s got an old flame, Shakespeare (SS), who re-emerged, freshly divorced and giving her all the feels again. She’s so happy that I hate bringing my heavy to her.

The funny thing is that she came over on Friday to talk about SS because he missed a planned phone call and she was in the same place I was with LEO... feeling like an idiot for getting all twitterpated over someone who can’t even reply to a good morning message for over 24 hours. She took my advice and messaged him basically asking if she should be miffed about being stood up (they had planned a phone call that he missed) or if she should be worried. He replied right away, saying all the right things. He’s worried about messing things up and worried that he won’t be able to ‘walk the talk’ when it comes down to it because of where he’s at in life right now. Honest. Transparent. Awesome. I’m so happy for her!

But me? I’m an idiot... LEO and I finally had a longer-ish video chat Friday night but I’d had an edible, fallen asleep on the couch then got a message from him as I crawled into bed. Admittedly, I was still a little high when we chatted. And he finally got to see my boobs.. LOL!

I don’t doubt him for a second when he tells me that he loves me and wants to be with me. But that doesn’t change the lack of conversation and the way our schedules just aren’t lining up. And none of that seems to stop me from melting into a puddle of goo when he calls me ‘Babygirl.’ Fucking ridiculous.

If I’ve learned anything over the course of my failed relationships it’s that it takes more than love to make a relationship work. It takes work. It takes common interests and shared ideas about how the everyday things should go... little things that seem trivial, really aren’t. What smells a person loves or hates... where they want the thermostat set... if there is a ‘right way’ to load a dishwasher... little seemingly trivial things that I gave up on really add up and can snowball into a life where I’m small and powerless. I can’t do that again, and I know that.

And then there’s that part of me that’s just flat out tired. Exhausted from a lifetime of survival mode and of all the chaos and deep emotions that came from polyamory... burned out, just like my grandmother used to talk about. Shortly before she passed away she said that she saw me burning so brightly that she was always afraid I’d burn out too fast. That’s what this feels like sometimes.

That part of me wants to just go home to California and be a cop’s wife. No need for the politics and deep conversations. No need for the effort. No need for anything other than just doing daily life and breakfast burritos. I could go back to being the house where the kids come afterschool.. LEO has a 10 year old daughter and a few grown kids... I could help another little woman into the world but maybe she would actually want me in her life, unlike my Kiddo who hasn’t spoken to me in years. Ouch.

Further complicating my emotional state is my renewed connection with McT back in MD. We’ve had several chats, a phone call that lasted over an hour then last night we video chatted for almost 90 minutes. I showed him my apartment and then he walked me through his house, pointing out and telling stories behind all of artwork and knick-knacks. He pulled out a couple of his ukuleles and played them and sang to me. I couldn’t stop smiling.

He’s moving towards filmmaking after writing several plays that have been performed out there. He’s upped his game from hosting burlesque shows and writing into more and more sideshow acts. He does straight jacket escapes, strongman feats like tearing decks of cards and bending things like horseshoes, nails and frying pans, and is working on sword swallowing. He travels to perform while holding down a full time job in a museum in DC. He went to art school and makes a living at art! Unheard of, right!?!

McT makes me smile. We have great conversations... he’s hot. And kinky. Ridiculously smart and witty... and when we talk, I almost always end up feeling like I’m just flat out boring. He’s motivated and has interests... and I guess that’s actually normal, like the product of a happy, healthy upbringing complete with summer camp and the ‘almost became a rabbi’ path. He’s not someone who I could ever see getting married and doing the kind of life thing that LEO wants. He feels like a bright spot or a comet which has its own merits but ultimately I feel like he’d get bored of me if we were to ever actually pursue anything serious.

Realistically, I need to put my energy into myself, my job, and into finding other things... not people... that make me happy. I know this. I really do.

I’m still grieving the loss of the life with MM because I didn’t really, fully do that. We unraveled in slow motion but it’s really over now. In all likeliness I’ll never see that house again. I’ll never see Bleu or Monster again. And I may never see MM again after he leaves for DC at the end of the month. He was my family and has had my back through this Tampa episode in a way that most wouldn’t. But I don’t recognize him anymore. Our interactions in person have all been cold and awkward and I still can’t talk to him without holding back tears most of the time.

And this Tampa bullshit. I woke up angry at him this morning. Things did not have to be this way. I didn’t have to be worried about running into him at the grocery store... we could have still enjoyed the good... I woke up thinking about making french toast and wishing I could watch the latest episode of Harley Quinn. And then I thought about inviting Cookie for brunch but the place in town with the best benedicts is the place where Tampa and I had brunch that last weekend before he flew back to Florida and a fresh flood of tears sprang. I just want to kick him in the shins and yell, “What the fuck, dude!!?”

I pulled back because I had to for my own dignity, and instead of hanging on and working on things he threw me away. I wasn’t worth the effort because I was too easy from the beginning and I can’t make that mistake again.

Just as my tears were drying up, my phone rang... Washington state. My first love and first lover...

I can’t believe I haven’t talked about him or given him a nickname! Or have I? Well, I’m going to go with “Byron” now. When we were much younger, I came across a quote from Lord Byron that always made me think of him, “In her first passion woman loves her lover; in all others, all she loves is love.”

Byron’s 5 year old daughter was murdered a little over a year ago and they are in the middle of the trial. He’s been homeless, living in his car for awhile now, unable to work due to his own health and then this whole thing with the trial. To say that his life was hard before this is an understatement.. admittedly, he was responsible for a lot of the struggles he’s faced, but he has always kept going.

He’s battled alcoholism, health issues including multiple hospitalizations for diabetes complications, liver cirrhosis and injuries like the broken femur he’s still healing from. Once upon a time ago, he ran a comedy club and partied with celebrities... he dated Tonya Harding briefly and when he told me all I could do was chuckle because she seems like his type. When he was diagnosed with cirrhosis a few years ago, he called me to tell me because he wanted me to hear it from him before he shared it on social media.

We haven’t actually seen each other in over a decade when he lived with me briefly in Texas. He was still drinking then and things got ugly... but he’s Byron and I’ve always loved him so when he got back in touch all was forgiven.

The thing with Byron that always got me was that after my being so in love with him when we were kids and him dating all of my friends... after losing our virginity to each other and continuing to have sex while he was dating my ‘best friend’ at the time... After all of that, I left our hometown and was moving on with life. I met my Kiddo’s father and that same weekend Byron called me out of the blue telling me, “I love you. I’ve always loved you. Please come home and be my wife.”

It was a moment in my life where I literally had two paths unfolding in front of me and I had a choice to make. I can’t say I’ve had a moment so clear in terms of where life could have gone since that one. And I chose my Kiddo’s father, which has lead me to a life where I’ve had a new addresses, new zip codes, new states, a new country over and over rather than going “home” where I never felt at home.

Byron is home...my home in that he knows me under all of this and I only wish I could be there to support him through this now. The crazy thing is that when he called me just now and asked how I was doing, I broke down crying again and he went on about how proud of me he is, how strong and amazing I am... He told me that I need to remember who the fuck I am. And he’s right.

He’s literally been sitting in a courtroom seeing pictures and video of his little girl’s last moments, of her injuries... of the medic on scene going off saying that there was no way things could have gone down like they were trying to say... He’s been dodging the media and turning down offers to go on national TV to talk about it because he just wants justice for her. All of this while living in his car alone in Washington state. And here he was comforting ME and keeping this positive attitude in the face of unbearable loss... all while staying sober, which is huge for him. Holy shit, right!?!

If I’ve learned nothing else in the last few weeks it’s that I’m loved and I’ve made a difference in other people’s lives. People I haven’t talked to in years have reached out to check on me after seeing my posts on FB. People I’ve been in and out of contact with have told me in no uncertain terms that the things I’ve taught them have helped them get through their own toughest times and told me over and over again how strong I am. These are the things I need to hang on to. These are things I need to learn from and in turn be sure that I’m reaching back out to the people who have made a difference in my life.

I know I’ll survive this and that this is the hard part... the grieving and loss of yet another incarnation of myself. I’m really feeling the urge to get a tattoo... a phoenix. Or maybe a butterfly... something that will remind me of my capacity to rebuild and be reborn again like I’ve done so many times before.

I’ll be okay. Better than okay. I just need to ride this out and remember who the fuck I am under all the years of making myself small enough to fit into other people’s (men’s) lives.

Time to dry my eyes again and get dressed. I need to buy water since my water dispenser died on me and it will be a bit before I can get a replacement sent. It’s still under warranty so it shouldn’t cost me anything. And I need to go by Cookie’s for my replacement glasses.

I’ve got this... and I’m so grateful for everyone who’s still out there listening, watching and rooting for me. I love you.

0 notes

thomasreedtn · 8 years ago

Text

Sync Winks and the New Garden

As I await a Sears delivery, I thought I’d take this otherwise unusable block of time to answer FAQ’s about the new garden and our move in general. Sorry, I still cannot reveal the exact city — that will come in time — but based on the number of sync winks and perfect heads up’s and interventions, Divine Timing is obviously in effect!

On Saturday, we were running errands and needed some information from our friend Ingrid, who loves orchids. Just as I made contact with her via text, guess what we passed in the store? A random display of orchids. I had set aside yesterday to begin filling raised beds for all my transported container plants. Knowing we had a groundhog issue with a hidey hole near our shed, I had originally put all the plants up front, but they need such strategic placement due to all the mature trees. It’s very difficult — but not impossible — to eek out 6-8 hours of full sun. Our backyard, by contrast, gets full sun almost the entire day.

I hadn’t seen our resident “whistlepig” aka woodchuck for over a week and was reconsidering my front yard garden and backyard orchard. Guess who made an appearance an hour before I began filling beds? Yep. His hidey hole now has a brand new, low hanging wind chime for startle effect …

…along with a new application of fox pee (humanely harvested from an animal rehab facility). it was a still day, so the pinwheels weren’t whirling, but hopefully, the wind chimes will startle him as much as they do me.

LOL, if I were a groundhog, I would not frequent this yard! I’ve about jumped out of my skin on several occasions with my own pretty deterrents. I need to change my phone’s timer from the wind chime setting, because when it went off and kept chiming louder to remind me to empty the old refrigerator, I leapt to the yard with pounding heart, thinking a whole army of groundhogs was passing under and around all the chimes.

I haven’t seen him again, and to be fair, I’ve had zero damage to any plants. Given a number of other “just in time” synchronicities and Divine Interventions, I took his uncanny appearance just at that moment as confirmation to trust my nudge to make a front yard garden. It’s a great way to meet neighbors, looks pretty, and it leaves the sunny, fenced in backyard for a mini-orchard protected from hungry deer. I’m not sure how the front yard garden will survive the deer, but they don’t come around here often, so I’ll cross that bridge if and when it comes to me. I have lots of mint, hyssop, yarrow and fragrant flowers, since I read that deer don’t browse when their noses get overloaded with smells. We shall see …

I had made sigils (modified to my own design and helpers) before we ever found our house or even knew which city to explore. Among those sigils, I listed “David and Laura live in a compatible city with compatible neighbors” and “I have a right sized garden.” By “right sized,” I meant more manageable, so that I could focus on writing, eating out and socializing more than on full scale urban permaculture. In Goshen, a 1/3 acre yard-en and food forest managed totally by me made sense, but in our new, much more compatible location, I want time to explore our surroundings, as well as time to write more books.

I’ve manifested the space for creativity, but by “right sized garden” I did not (consciously) mean “no garden.” The rest of the sigils have come true in wonderful ways, or they’re continuing to unfold with surprising but joyful details. I have to trust that everything will work itself out. I’ve noticed groundhogs in other areas, but so far so good here.

We do have my trademark resident wasps already, situated very close to the front yard gardens. I don’t know why, but I have had excellent symbiosis with wasps as pollinators, organic predators for destructive bugs, and as vigilant guardians of my crops. I blogged about this dynamic in the post, “Slumlord Beekeeper,” discussing my Mason bee house, resident yellow jackets and predator wasps, as well as how wasps mysteriously kept our Madison neighbor from trampling my garden, while allowing me free, unstung passage wherever I needed to go. When this well intentioned but plant trampling neighbor marveled at how I could garden amidst the wasps, I just smiled and said, “Well, it’s my garden, isn’t it?” I’ve found that when pleas and suggestions don’t work, wasps tend to do the trick.

In any case, the day the movers brought the last truckload of our stuff here, one of them noted wasps building a nest in one of our front lights. David just smiled and said, “That was quick!” When the mover raised an inquiring eyebrow, David added, “They were invited.”

I also saw a hawk the other day after asking for day patrol, and a turkey vulture followed up to confirm a successful hunt. Now the red squirrels or (please say it ain’t so) baby groundhogs seem to avoid our front yard or scurry past as fast as possible. A few people have texted me with synchronous owl hoot reports immediately after I’ve put out telepathic calls for dusk and dawn owl patrol, so we’ll see how that works.

I prefer to live and let live, but I do get rather protective of my plants and my space. In Goshen, the hawk patrol did wonders to keep those nasty black squirrels on good behavior. If I told particularly naughty ones, “That’s it, I’m calling the hawk,” they would hightail it out of there for the rest of the day. I’ve telegraphed The Rules to potential thieves: eat clover instead of my garden, don’t give us ticks, don’t dig up any foundations on our property, and we can get along well. If you insist on devouring to the ground or destroying, I’m calling the hawk. And the owl. And the wasps. You’ve been warned. Be nice.

Several people have expressed excitement to see photos of the new garden. Please keep in mind that we only just moved in, so this year is a complete experiment to see what works where, including the possibility that “a right sized garden” for me consists only of daffodils, garlic and onions, along with a butterfly haven that happens to repel nibbling critters. I have no idea what this land will produce, but I do enjoy the cardinals, HUGE dragonflies, wasps and birdsong all day long.

We also love the park-like views from every window. Trees galore, and many of my favorites! Birch, magnolia, purple maple, blue spruce, dogwood, and weeping cherries: it’s like someone downloaded the list of “Laura’s favorite non-edible trees” and led us to a property that features all of them. If that’s “all” we have long term, then we’ll survive. Our city is loaded with food forests and hydroponics stores, so if all else fails, we can still have yummy community food options and indoor greens.

That said, David and I spent yesterday rehabbing the existing trees, since the previous owners had done nothing to maintain them. In another perfect timing experience, the arborist we consulted last Tuesday told us this season is the last moment we could have pruned these trees to a size that would allow us to keep them. Any larger and more mature, and they would have damaged the house or succumbed to disease or stress. Our place doesn’t look or feel like a rescue mission, but in many ways it is. We synchronously met the previous owner before these sellers on the day we bought this house, and she expressed relief and glee that gardeners were moving in. She had watched in sadness as all her decades of plantings got neglected by people with little time, understanding, resources, or interest in maintaining the beauty.

I’ll share some photos from this afternoon. We so love this weeping birch tree and hope to rehabilitate it back to full health. Yesterday, David spent hours trimming back dead branches, while I mulched the base and added Smart Pots on the Southeast side for sunshine and garden plants, but also for water runoff to help the tree.

Below you can see yesterday’s freshly filled Big Bag Beds, new wind chimes, pinwheels, and the remaining container plants awaiting a delivery of more soil. You can also see the freshly pruned weeping cherries as we look from our house to the street, as well as a purple maple on the right, the weeping birch on the left, and one of many blue spruces right by the street street.

Below you can see a 4:44 photo of the same beds. On the bench you’ll find a cherry tree branch saved for another magic wand like last year’s Asian pear offered, along with my “Live” root beer kombucha. Yes, this is a real time shot while I was out and about tending plants and watching shadows.

Contrast the light at this time in this photo above with the still bright sun in the backyard below, the intended spot of a future mini-orchard. Emphasis on mini. I do have some containers of herbs and native butterfly plants staged for planting in the existing bed of irises and clematis once I get more soil.

The mailbox area boasts abundant daisies in what the previous-owner to the last owners said was a red-white-and -blue 4th of July planting. One red lily looks too sad for photos, and the blue whatever seems to have died from neglect. Have I mentioned how happy this yard is to have a resident gardener again?! This bed bloomed earlier with yellow irises and yellow roses that I just deadheaded. It’s full sun all day, so maybe it will get a Smart Pot or two at some point. I decided to use Smart Pots and Big Bag Beds so that I won’t disturb the roots of existing trees. It also gives me a relatively low cost, low commitment way to experiment in the event that “right sized” means “no edible” garden.

On the possible agenda include an aronia berry bush (superfood ignored by most wildlife), flowering (edible and “deer proof”) quince, red currants (fruit in shade!), three columnar apple trees in containers, and possibly several blueberry bushes (which did fabulously in Big Bag Beds in Goshen). On the very, very maybe list of the extremely well behaved groundhog version of reality, I might also get some dwarf pear or plum trees. We. Shall. See.

For now, I enjoy looking at the weeping cherries and dogwood from my office window, with peeks of taller trees across the street. I can feel the fiction gears starting to turn now that I live in a spot more closely matching my necessary surroundings for writing fiction, and after planting wide varieties of daffodils, fritillaria, alliums and hyacinths this coming fall, it will be time to return to work on the healing Lyme disease book I began last winter.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little introduction to the new yard. This property has not yet revealed its name to us, but I’ll let you know when it does. Meanwhile, I wish you a Happy Inter-dependence Day. We’re all connected, much more than we know, even when we aim for more self-reliance and independence. When I received my PDC (permaculture design certificate), I was reminded that “the problem is the solution.” Even groundhogs, existing trees, a septic drain field, and a shady front yard. I’ll leave you with the Permaculture Design Principles, good things for us to remember on any day, especially this holiday weekend in the US:

youtube

from Thomas Reed https://laurabruno.wordpress.com/2017/07/03/sync-winks-and-the-new-garden/

0 notes

sarahsadventuresineurope-blog · 8 years ago

Text

4/8/2017

ugh so much to write!!

okay first: spring break! amsterdam, vienna, and barcelona.

so me and david flew to amsterdam on thursday right after class. we had an earlier flight than rae and jessy. our flight actually ended up getting a little bit delayed though. so we got to amsterdam and took a bus to our air bnb. so many tesla taxis! that was weird to see. we got there around sunset so it was so pretty to walk around :) our air bnb was in a really cool spot. got there and settled in. got into a fight with jake because he was upset i didnt message him right when i landed. it was weird but whatever haha. david and i went to a burger place right next to our place before the other girls arrived. the burgers were decent, but pretty pricey. jessy and rae arrived so we got settled then went to find a coffee shop! we found one called katsu that was pretty close so we went there and went inside and got some weed hahha it was so crazy. rolled some splifs and then smoked outside the shop. after, we walked around and went to a couple bars! the first one we went to had a soccer game on so it was exciting to be in that atmostphere. then we went to a couple other bars after. at one, david went to get drinks and came back with vodka shots haha we died. after we went to mcdonalds lol it was on the way back to our place. then we smoked a little and then passed out. the next morning we had a slow start bc of staying out the night before. we finally left the place around 11 and headed to get brunch. we decided to walk instead of using public transit because it wasnt too far. we went to metropolitan and it was SO FUCKING GOOD. i got an avocado eggs benedict and it made me so happy ahah. also we all got mimosas. we finished our brunch then walked around to find a place to buy shrooms. we ended up at the magic mushroom or something like that and they all bought shrooms. after we went to a nearby coffeeshop and smoked more. met up with dedrick there! that was crazy to see and meet up with dedrick in amsterdam. after that we walked because we wanted to find this popular park, and there we separated ways. we couldnt find the park so we were kind of just wandering for a while and we found a canal tour so we bought that. i bought a space cake for me to eat while they were tripping on shrooms. we took the shrooms and edibles then went on the tour. that was pretty cool. it hit them while on the tour haha. after we just wandered around for hours hahh. went to a park, found a cool art gallery and then ended at a thrift shop. all were super cool. after we headed back to our place to relax. then we went to dinner right under our air bnb and i was soooo high i ate everything haha. after that we went back to the place and relaxed before we made the trip to the red light district. that was pretty crazy to see and experience. we walked around it for awhile then went into a bar and had a drink. it was pouring rain so we took a taxi home. then just smoked more and hung out. a very chill time in amsterdam but it was super cool. then we just flew back to berlin!

we got back to berlin and had a day before we flew to vienna. so on sunday we went to maurpark and explored. the weather was super shitty though so we didnt spend much time. then i just went home and packed for the week!

our flight to vienna was around 11 so jessy and i headed to the airport in the morning. everything went smoothly, and we arrived in vienna in the late afternoon. we took a train to david’s cousins place, then walked there with the directions he gave us. we dropped off our stuff and explored vienna! we walked through this really pretty park, then found our way to this beautiful cathedral. then we got schnitzel because we were starving. after, we walked more through places i dont know the names of haha. one cool building was where hitler gave a really famous speech. after, we went to the 25 hours rooftop bar for a drink. we went right around sunset so it was beautiful. we spent some time there just having a drink and talking. after that we headed back to his cousins. got there and met sebastian! he was so nice hahha david had talked him up so much too. we just hung out with him and that was fun. drank some beers and got to know each other. then me david and jessy went to david friend’s place, timmy. we went over there expecting to go out but we just stayed at his friends place and drank beers and smoked haha but it was chill meeting autrian kids our age. i felt bad for making them speak english but they were all super nice. at one point a couple of them snorted molly so that was crazy haha. but yeah! then we left and got doner, which was so fucking shitty hahah and then we got back to sebastians and slept. the next day we went to the train station to go to david’s aunts place in the countryside. took the train there and his aunt picked us up. got back to their place, had some tea, then we all went out on a bike ride. the bike ride was amazing! we were out for a couple hours, just riding around to different spots throughout the village. then we got back to his aunt’s place and they took us out to dinner in a nearby town! i had a really really great glass of red wine, and this chicken dish with spinach spatzle (?) its kinda like dduk but like tiny balls haha then we went back home and just hung out and drank beers and talked. jessy and david smoked but i just went to sleep. the next morning we woke up pretty late lol but we had bread cheese meat and coffee for breakfast. david’s uncle drove us to david’s cousins city, just the next town over. we went to the school where his wife and kids were. then we met them and went on a walk through the city. first we got super yummy ice cream, then walked to a park, then to this palace thing, and then finally to their house. we played with the kids for a few hours and then the mom cooked us dinner and we ate with their family and their sister and her bf. that was really nice. then played with the kids more, then the sister and her bf drove us to the train station to go back to vienna. this was the night me and jessy had booked a hostel, but we ended up just staying another night with sebastian haha. so yeah we went to sebastians and brought him a bottle of wine as a thank you. so we drank wine, more beer, and talked and hung out before going out to the club. we even got to drink their grandfather’s schnapps! ugh forever will remember “auf opa” and how i almost cried. got pretty drunk that night haha. finally left at like 12 to meet timmy at this club. right when we got there we just went in to pee then we left to go somewhere else. got to the second club and it was pretty cool but real ratchet haha. the guys were extra creepy. bought some weed off of a guy trying to hit on jessy lol and rolled some splifs and smoked and drank more. was there until like 3-4am lol then finally took a taxi home. went to bed, pretty sure i heard jessy and david fucking lol it was nasty. anyways, woke up the next day and got ready for our flight. jessy and i were super super hungover, it was terrible. but got our flight okay and we were on our way to barcelona!

arrived in barcalona and took a bus to our air bnb. got there and got settled in and met kash. dropped our stuff off and got food nearby. gothic quarter is super super cool and pretty hehe. went to this yummy pasta place, 7.50 for a beer, pasta, and bread. just talked and hung out then just went back home and slept. next morning jessy woke up and threw up :( she felt better so we went to brunch nearby, it was pretty good. then she threw up at the restaurant so we just headed back to the air bnb after brunch. we both took naps but then i got up and wanted to do a little exploring but it was raining so that was shitty. met up with jazmin for coffee! that was nice to see her hehe. then walked home in the pouring rain haha. got back and jessy was feeling a lot better so we went out to eat ramen. she threw up while at ramen LOL so we just went back home after and slept more. this was when kash’s dog came and peed on our bed UGH WORST THING EVER. we moved to the room next door lol. the next day we had booked tickets for the sagrada familia and park guell so we started the day with brunch at a different place. jessy felt a lot better this day and didnt throw up! had brunch, then took the subway to the sagrada familia. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. i found the inside much more amazing than i expected. spent a solid hour there. then we walked to park guell! on our way we stopped for gelato haha. it was such a beautiful day, which was a nice change from the night before of thunder and lightning. the park was on a hill so basically it was a hike haha. got to the park, then entered with our tickets. took a bunch of pics and walked around for like an hour. then we left and took a bus to a main shopping center and shopped a little. found a sephora so jessy was able to buy her concealer! then we headed to the tapas dinner we booked. it was so good!!! pretty pricey but it was fine for a nice meal in barcelona. then we went back to the air bnb and hung out and relaxed. then we decided to go to a bar that was recommended to both of us and we were told it was pretty american, we walked there. got there and got a g&t and just hung out and watched the soccer game on the tv. it was kinda lame bc no dance floor, but they played good american pop music so that was nice haha. didnt stay there too long. left, went to burger kind, ate some food, then went back to the air bnb. went to sleep, woke up, and headed to the airport to fly back to berlin.

oh i forgot to say we never met up with our friends in vienna and it caused drama it was dumb lol

anyways, that was my spring break! sucks that jessy got sick but it wasnt the worst thing ever. the next two weeks were very anticlimactic haha um last week i got sick so that sucked. we went to stammi last week and kevin was still here so that was fun to go out with him. one weird thing was on the way back from stammi on the u bahn a strange man randomly spit on thomas when he said a sentence in english. that was weird. the next night was super fun tho, i went to troyboi with diane marie gus jonathan and madeline! it was so so so fun! we were trying to find e the whole night but couldnt find any hahahah so we just drank. he was suck a sick dj to see live. and we were right in the front! one thing i didn’t appreciate was the mosh pitting lol. me and jc headed back to the apartments after his set bc it was already 3 but the rest stayed out haha. i dont remember anything interesting from this past week... tuesday i went to kimchi princess with alex then we studied after. it was nice to have korean food haha. had a presentation on wednesday that went okay. thursday me and chan and grant stayed in a watched lemonade which was fun haha. friday i had class all day which was annoying but then came back, ate, and then went out with everyone. chan wanted to go to an event at afroclub so we all went but we ended up at watergate because amelia sucks at navigating and none of us wanted to pay $15 to get in lol so we left and walked to suicide circus, then chan made zach trip on accident as we walked in so the bouncer was like you guys are too drunk when we def werent lol. so after that quinn jessy and amelia just went home bc jessy was pretty drunk. but me chan zach and grant tried to go to afroclub. we found it, especially since there were posters literally everywhere ugh. so we go in and get drinks and what not. it was pretty cool but very ratchet lol. chan ended up losing her phone :( so that sucked. me and chan took a taxi home but grant and zach stayed out with other girls in the program. woke up this morning (sat) thinking i was gonna die lol. grant came over and we just talked for a few hours and at random snacks lol. then i watched some netflix, showered, and we went out to get ramen for dinner. just me and grant went. grant wanted to buy new shoes so we did a lil shopping after, and then just came home. its saturday and i think all of us are just staying in tonight haha. okay well thats all!! bye bye

0 notes