#took a while to get used to it but AT LAST THE TUMBLR ART ACCOUNT A-DRAMA-ADDICT HAS PRODUCED ART

[a-drama-addict]

new art program, same ole oc bullshit

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling a school counselor about what my friend does online?

I (F minor) am in middle school. I have a group of friends, about 8 people, but this is about one girl in specific we can call Annie. All of us are mutuals on tumblr, twitter, etc. and we have a discord server too.

All of us are into a lot of the same things, like art, anime, video games, and have a lot of the same hobbies. Most of us also struggle with mental health stuff like anxiety and/or depression so we regularly talk to our school counselor (F, Idk how old she is).

Anyways, we're all really close and we get along really well for the most part, but lately Annie has been doing stuff that really bothers and worries us.

She's VERY into internet discourse. Has 10 paragraph long DNI page, is constantly starting fights with other people, etc. She usually argues about stuff like LGBT+ rights, womens rights, etc. but also a LOT of fandom discourse which is my biggest concern.

A lot of my other friends reblog/retweet stuff like anime gifs, fanart, memes, etc. but pretty much every post I see from Annie is her fighting with someone over shipping or something like that.

A lot of the posts are basically:

Her talking about how disgusting a certain ship or character is

How everyone who likes that specific thing is a degenerate, or freak, or pedo or groomer.

How if you like problematic ships you need to get a therapist, or you deserve to be hurt. Once I saw her arguing with someone who said they write certain stuff due to trauma and she said "You don't have trauma, you're either lying or you actually liked it and that's why you write such disgusting nasty shit"

Fighting with random people and accusing them of being a predator or a pedo

Breaking her own DNI (which says adults, proshitters, etc. DNI) and then getting mad at the other person for responding

It's really upsetting to see because she does this CONSTANTLY. She never seems to use tumblr/twitter to do things she actually likes. I never see her reblog gifs or memes or just silly lighthearted posts about stuff she enjoys.

It's especially upsetting because we're minors and she TELLS PEOPLE THAT. Like she's arguging with people that she thinks are pedos or child predators, while openly telling people her actual age. To me that's like covering yourself in bloody steaks and then jumping into water full of sharks.

I was really starting to get concerned because even in our private discord server she's always talking about how much she hates these people or whatever and how they should die, a lot of the time she says things like "they should get the wall" or "I hope their nasty fanfics happen to them irl that would teach them lol" and it really freaks me out.

She also talks about seeing the "child porn" that these people make which as far as I'm aware is drawings of characters but it still freaks me out how open and calm she is about looking at what she THINKS is child porn. I asked her if it's child porn why is it being linked in callout posts for other people (including minors!) to see and not being reported to the FBI but she just gets mad and changes the subject.

Me and our other friends have mentioned before that we don't like hearing about this kind of stuff but then she just gets mad and goes offline or gives us the silent treatment at school.

A month or so ago I got so fed up and upset, that I took a bunch of screenshots of her tumblr account and discord messages. One thing to note is that her username is VERY specific.

It's a combination of her first and last name and her birth year. Most people will not know that, but if you know her name and birthday, it's easy to tell it's her. She also goes by her real name online which I also screenshotted as proof it's her.

I brought all this to the school counselor, and I told her how worried I was about Annie, and how I think she's doing something really unsafe. Not only is she confronting people she thinks are child predators/groomers, she's telling people they deserve to get hurt in really awful ways, and looking at porn and I don't think this is good for her mental health.

The counselor at first was like "Idk are you SURE it's her? It could be anyone online!" But I insisted that it was and explained the username thing and that this was our private discord server so obviously I know it's her.

She thanked me for letting her know and told me I was being a good friend and then we talked about how I was doing, and then I left. I kind of forgot about it until a week later.

Annie wasn't online at all and I was kind of worried, but then I saw her on Monday at school. I was with our other friends and we called out her name so she would see us and come over and she LOST IT. She started screaming at us and telling us how awful we were, and how we ruined her life.

Idk what exactly happened, but apparently the counselor talked to her and her parents got involved? Her parents now monitor her internet usage, they have child safety stuff on the browsers, and she's only allowed on certain websites for doing research for school, or watching videos on youtube on their account so they can see what videos she's watching, or playing games on steam.

She said that her parents are also putting her in therapy once a week now (with an actual therapist, not the counselor) and she's only allowed to go out with an adult chaperone (either her older sister or one of her parents).

But... None of our friends know it was me who told the counselor. Annie has other friends besides us, so they're also "suspects" for being the snitch. It seems like half of our friends are relieved that Annie is kept away from that kind of stuff and the other half are mad at whoever the snitch is for ratting Annie out and resulting in her having less privacy/freedom.

At first I was happy that Annie was getting help and being kept away from this but now I feel really conflicted. I feel so disgusting talking to her and our other friends and pretending nothing happened, knowing that I was the one who told the counselor.

Annie still talks to us but she's a lot less open. We still have our discord server but apparently her parents will read through the messages to make sure she's not talking about anything bad and that she's only talking to us and not strangers.

What are these acronyms?

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

Gosh I HATE X.

Rant below about small artists and not getting much of a chance to actually grow in social media.

Not only do they not tell me what the problem is when the report something so I can't fix it but I get on or try to get on and apparently I can't? My account was deleted? It won't log me in on my art one??? I'm annoyed by it.. I can only be glad I have a following here on Tumblr and Tumblr helps push certain things out compared to X.

I'm honestly mad because I was using X as another way to reach out to people who want commissions but also for fandom interactions. I'm also mad because like I've said for like the hundredth time, you can literally find people fcking on X and their videos and things get to stay up but I draw FanArt and write stories and MINE gets taken down??? Smh especially as someone doing commissions because my mom is in the hospital rn and I genuinely need the funds for a while..

I'm working on one commission right now. I'll take three right now for cheap prices because I understand people don't find value in art all the time but I'll have to bring prices up or either continuously work for the cheaper ones and save up.

Actually let me ask this now.

Some this picture contains four characters, a window with extra background, objects and background, and various expressions and poses. The time on it hit 13 hours on ibis. In my mind of course I want money to help my situations.

With this picture as an example I count people and characters as $10 each, little accessories and such are $1 each and there's at least 12 in here up front from the beer cans to the dresser. The picture took 13 hours so $40 × 13 equals $520. It took me at least a week to get this piece done. Considering the hospital issues, the at home issues, pet situations, food issues, and little transportation I have when I need something important done I think for pieces like this the price is fair.

Idk, people who commission others can you tell me what you think? I'm down to do cheap prices too it just depends of what's being asked like the current commission I'm doing which is this one:

Is $30 dollars for the commissioner considering they just want the lineart which I'm more than happy to do. If anyone knows any discord groups or websites that give artist commissions please let me know. I just can't believe X rn... Also matter of fact this was the wip I posted before my account was taken down... Doesn't like like anything against Twitter guidelines to me but fck us small artists that NEED exposure I guess.

How I'm pricing after finishing this commission and two others perhaps because I literally can't afford to not price it like I'm thinking of doing.

So:

$10 dollars per person/character

$1 for each background object/accessories - cups, glasses, trash cans, ash trays, etc etc

And after all that is set I'll multiply those numbers by the amount of hours I finish which is where the majority of the money goes and after that's it, I get paid and you get your piece. (Of course check ins are allowed and changes as long as changes art completely different from their original idea. I'm always okay drawing at least three sketches for customers to pick from if they don't like the first sketch.)

I've made a post already on my current visit at the hospital for my mom. She majorly deals with everything in the home so her being sick will mean we'll need extra funds. I don't work right now because I myself got sick last year with GBS and I'm still healing, not just that but there's only one car for the household which is my mom's so with everything happening I couldn't possibly get a job now. My grandma has dementia and there's three other people in the house though two of them hardly do much to keep bills paid. It's just a lot and really anything would help us right now. So to any commissioners if you are commissioning me whether it's little or big I very much appreciate you with all my heart.

And even if you can't commission reblogging and liking is just fine as well since it helps boost posts.

[koqabear]

hi guys! this is such an odd post i never thought i'd have to make, but yk... might as well put it out there.

i'm sure by now it's common sense that the writers you see on tumblr are real people with real, busy lives. we are people with jobs or in school or both, and we are people who write because we like to, not because we have to. we are doing this as a hobby- unpaid, giving hours-- days, weeks, months, years-- of our time to present art that we are passionate about. for free.

so to come into a writer's inbox or comments being demanding and frankly, entitled, for them to write simply because you want them to is disrespectful and dehumanizing.

I took a break because i was tired and no longer found myself having fun writing. I really don't want to sound pretentious, but i've devoted a lot of time to this account, and posted really frequently; all because i wanted to, of course. it took me so long to come into terms with the fact that i needed a break-- because honestly, if i kept trying to push myself further and forced myself to write until i couldn't anymore, i would have reached a breaking point and would have probably ended up leaving instead. and while i have reached an overwhelming amount of support for my decision, there are others who simply seem to lack this common sense.

now in reality, i could care less about these people; i saw a rude comment this morning-- on a post related to my difficulties writing, no less-- shrugged it off, and moved on about my day. i only just now remembered it after checking my notifications. however, this is an unacceptable way to treat content creators on this app, and not everyone can simply brush things off. i don't care what intentions you have when sending such things; it doesn't matter if it was a joke or lighthearted or whatever, because the meaning is still the same. we are not robots, we aren't people who will satisfy your every whim, and we most definitely won't write because you try to command us to. entitled, selfish people who treat content creators as nothing but machines and refuse to show their support properly are the very reason why writers leave this website left and right.

now, if i ever see anyone leave such comments and inboxes on my or another creator's account, it will guarantee a hard block from me. it literally isn't that hard to be a kind person to people who are catering to your interests for free.

this is the last time i'll talk about this; don't even try to send anything rude in my inbox, because it won't get you the attention you so desperately crave.

thank you to my followers who have shown unwavering support to me and have left me reassuring words. you are the people i look forward to sharing my writing with.

[musicalmoritz]

Uhh kinda stupid question from someone who's technically new to the fandom despite following the manga for a while, where do ya'll find the official au's and their art? Like the Monster nursery one, I've seen them a lot but where does one find the originals?

There are many places to find the AUs!! Fair warning, some of them like Monster Nursery and Ghost Hotel have multiple parts but they’re still easy to find

The easiest place to find them is through the wiki page. Just google the name of the au + “wiki” like I did in the image above, and the first link should take you to a page with the full au.

There’s dialogue and images that will take you through a Choose Your Own Adventure type story, only the options have already been chosen for you. This is probably my favorite place to read them just because it’s all very easy to follow

The next place to check is the @dbs-scans account here on Tumblr! They post all the official art and aus, and I think they might even post the chapters. To find the au you want you could simply Google the name of it and their account should pop up, or you could search their account directly through Tumblr by clicking on their archive or using the search bar feature on their blog

They include all the images from the au with the text that correlates with them translated below. I believe they usually do the aus in full, which is very helpful if you’re trying to find an au like Ghost Hotel with multiple parts. If they don’t have all the parts tho, you can always refer back to the wiki or go to the next source I’m about to show you

Our next resource is the hanakokun.officialarts account on TikTok. Beware, I don’t think they have all the aus, but I know they’ve posted some of them. They get their translations from the aforementioned dbs-scans account which kind of brings this response full circle lol, it’s a small fandom. They’ll post the images with the dialogue in the captions, and you should be able to find them in order all grouped together. You might have to scroll a bit to find some of the older aus. This is one of my favorite resources for keeping up with official TBHK content tho bcuz they post the new chapters in full and it’s an easy way to find official art

You might also be able to read the aus on Twitter if they’re still up but I don’t have Twitter so I couldn’t tell you for sure. At one point I was trying to find the last part of Ghost Hotel and I deadass had to refer to Google Images, sometimes you gotta scrounge around for yourself. But that shouldn’t happen too often because the resources I gave are very reliable!!

Thank you for this ask, and it’s not stupid at all!! I had to ask my TikTok followers where to find the HKOTO au a few months ago when I got a fic request for it. It took me a minute to figure out where to find all the content, which is standard for joining any fandom that has as wide a range for content as TBHK does. I’ve seen BSD fans have similar issues. And by asking that you probably saved a lot of people’s asses who were too embarrassed to ask the same question

[emilybeemartin]

Came for the Racoon Comic, stayed because you're a delight, and may have tripped face-first into a new obsession re: Queen's Thief because of your art. I'm not usually a YA or Romancey type reader, and honestly it's been really hard for me to read for fun since leaving school and floundering as an adult (undiagnosed-til-adulthood-ADHD crowd holla). But seeing your art of Gen, I thought to myself, "Smug, vain, sneaky boys with gray morals are a fav, might as well see what's up so I can understand what's going on in these gorgeous arts." I promptly devoured The Thief in a matter of days--DAYS, I say, which is shocking given that the last book I read (approximately a year ago) took 6 weeks and several days of overdue fines. Now I'm over here vibrating while waiting for Queen of Attolia to come off hold at my local library. New hyperfixation unlocked and it feels awesome.

All this to say, thank you. For helping me get back into reading, for making beautiful art for us strangers to enjoy, and for being an all around cool person. And good luck with your surgery! I'm sorry it has to happen, but I hope it works out well for you and recovery is easier and quicker than originally thought. <3

Ohhh my gosh, you have no idea how much you just made my day! The Queen's Thief has been one of THE most important pieces of media in my life from a really young age, and I never felt more at home online than when I found the QT fandom here on tumblr. I'm so glad you loved the first book so much and that you're enjoying reading again!

Other amazing QT fan artists include @shebsart, @storylinecaroline, @artfrostedleaf, @mothsartart, @ardenetoile, @shrimpchipsss, @plantagenista, @emerydraws, and sooo many others. @fuckyeahqueensthief and @ofgodsandthieves are both great fan accounts that repost all the good stuff. And, of course, @meganwhalenturner herself is on tumblr as well!

[entomolog-t]

Good morning! I was just wondering how you got into posting on tumblr? I've been writting a g/t story for the last few months and am tej chapters in, and would really like to post it, but the thought of peaple actually reading it is scary lol

I just sorta dove in.

As a kid I used to post on deviant art a lot, and that's how I found the g/t community. Though I only ever posted art.

I fell off regular posting and abandoned the account. Years later I found myself yearning for g/t content. I lurked on Tumblr for a while (literally just repeatedly checking on a few different blogs without even making an account).

Eventually, looking in through the proverbial window got lonely. Especially when seeing how much fun/cute interactions were being had in the community.

So I made an account and just posted a few things. A lil art, asked for some recommendations etc and before I knew it I was making friends.

Ocs just kind of happened. I started with Aedes, and just kept on making more drawings with him.

Then comics.

But comics are hard and take forever. I had so many ideas that I wanted to share. It got overwhelming. And life got overwhelming.

Then I took a break from Tumblr for a few years.

But I still had so many ideas. I wanted to give my OCs a real story. When I came back to Tumblr I thought a lot about writing. I've always enjoyed writing though never actually posted anything. Hell, I hadn't written since high-school. But as I read other people's work, it just seemed to make me itch for it- "I can do it too."

And then I did.

The more I wrote the easier it got. More ideas, more characters and more interactions. People liked what I made.

It hit different than art.

It felt like I'd shown people a part of me- and they liked what they saw. It didn't get as much attention as art- but the interacts felt deeper, and even more importantly, I fell in love with my ocs. Giving them life and telling their story just feels like I'm unraveling some knot inside my brain. It feels like it frees up space- makes me lighter.

I hope it feels the same for you Anon. It's a great feeling.

If you ever want to share your writing, you can feel free to DM! I'm slow to reply at times, but I'd love to read. It may be easier to share with one person at a time. And if not me, I'd definitely recommend sharing with any friends you have in the community.

But honestly? My advice is to dive in and don't look back.

[saku0115]

A little rant about social media, art and community.

So i started commissions, it took me a lot of time but I finish to set up everything and that, I first upload them into a discord server im in.

It made me realize how much artist use instagram and how little space there is for artist now a day to upload art without the site being hostile to them.

I have a big beef with Insta, it block me for no reason whatsoever, while trying to open an Instagram account so I keep low contact with it, later they make it harder for people to get income for their content that they upload in the app.

My last straw was when they decided to feed ia with posts created on instagram, the complaint form that was created to try to avoid/complain that Insta did the ia thing, was not available in my country... you couldn't complain in latin america.

I have always had problems with instagram I never liked or got used to the app in the first place.

But as a person who wants to participate in community I am moderately obliged to start uploading on that site.

So I decide to get glaze or nightshade to protect my art.

What do I find, my PC can't handle it, it doesn't has enough memory or cpu.... I feel worst, but the thought that the only most accesible way for us to protect us from ia is an ibistpaint filter(you need premium for it but it actually not pricy at all...., ibis is a really good program)it's kinda heart broken.

Artist truly needs to keep or backs together right know, artist need a better site and more protection but will survive.

I like tumblr it has a great form for me to upload art and made this my place, i dont really want fame in social media i just want to share my art with the word and interact with my comunity, it's has his faults but I love it a lot and at least it has not force to feed ia so, I won't be leaving any time soon

If intrested this is my insta

[amywhereyouwant]

Some TOH HCs I wanted to share

There are a LOT of them, so They're under the read more for your scrolling convenience

Luz

-Uses She/They pronouns

-Would watch the entirety of Sword Art Online just to be able to shit on it properly

-Eats way too much Shredded Cheese even though she’s Lactose Intolerant

-Has made a Your mom joke to Willow only to remember she doesn’t have one

-Mains King in Tekken and made a custom attire trying to make it look like the other King

-Screenpeeks religiously in Split Screen Multiplayer

-Predicted Hecazura 2 books into the series, still won’t shut up about it

-Relatively known Digital Artist, her blog probably took off when she started making art of the Demon Realm 

-Hates baking

-Helps Amity bake out of the kindness of her heart(Also seeing Amity enjoying herself is really nice)

-Had a cold once, hasn’t had a Human Realm illness since

-Has SH scars from her depressed period back in the human realm(S3E1), still ashamed over them

-Quotes Memes constantly, only Hunter understands what she’s talking about

-Cracked a rib tripping on a rug on her way to bed

Amity

-Absolutely hates Bugs, like, genuinely despises them

-Does not know how computers work, but still tries to use Luz’s laptop to look up date ideas

-Can and will dress as the most stereotypical Witch ever

-Adopted(All 3 Blight Kids are in my HC)

-Likes to bake

-Does not know how to bake

-Gets sick constantly

-Works out a lot so she can help out with rebuilding the Isles(and also a little bit for Luz)

-Used to apologise a lot for minor things(Pre-timeskip)

-REALLY Bummed she didn’t get to see Titan Luz

-Watched the barbie movie the same day Gus watched Oppenheimer

Gus

-Goes nonverbal when stressed out, uses Illusions and his palisman to communicate

-Cried for hours when he finished the last Cosmic Frontier book, even though it was a happy ending

-Likes the idea of Professional Wrestling, but wishes the fights were to the death

-Quotes Cosmic Frontier as a Vocal Stim

-Dramatically perishes in Matt’s arms on the regular

-Headcanons O'Bayley to look exactly like Hunter just for the memes

-Thinks Human 2D Animation is the most beautiful thing to have ever been created

-Watched Across the Spider-Verse and Begged for Luz to draw a Spider-Suit for him, she did one for everyone

-Got really jealous when everyone else got flapjack tattoos, then he realised he could just make one of his own with an Illusion

-Got insanely mad when he learned about Human Discrimination(“How can you hate someone for something they can’t change? That’s ridiculous!”)

-Watched Oppenheimer the same day Amity and Hunter watched the Barbie Movie

Hunter

-LOVES Dino Nuggies

-Didn’t know Dinosaurs were real for a while until Luz showed them to him, Velociraptors are his favourite because “They’re like Wolves but Lizards!” (They’re not)

-Has a tumblr account where he posts about Wolves, Luz is his only follower

-Definitely has a Fursona

-Kicks Luz’s ass at most video games, except for Halo 2 specifically(I wonder why)

-”Will you go out with me?” “Hunter we’ve been dating for a year” “Oh.”

-Thinks Huggbees’ How it’s actually made videos are 100% Legit and honest

-Made Willow a Flower Shirt to match his Wolf Shirt

-Wears Willow’s Flower Shirt he made

-Imagine Dragons is his favourite band

-Has Epilepsy

-Steals Willow’s dresses sometimes

-Found Nicole Coenen on YouTube, showed her to luz “She looks kinda like Amity!”(Nobody else sees the resemblance)

-Probably plays a LOT of Roblox

-Watched the Barbie Movie with Amity(Luz forced him to)

-Has seen every single vine there is(Thank the Titan for Vine Compilations on YouTube)

-Any kind of facial hair he grows is really patchy so he just goes clean shaven for convenience

-Snuck food during TtT even though he was 100% allowed to eat normally

-Bananas do exist in the Demon Realm, Hunter has just never learned that they do

-Gets visits from the Spirits of the other Golden Guards in his dreams

Willow

-Tackled someone to the ground when they only slightly bumped into Hunter(We stan a protective queen)

-Feeds her palisman doggie treats, nobody knows why

-Filled Camila’s entire back garden with way too many plants during TtT, they’re still there despite not being watered for a while

-Made a Garland made of both Demon and Human Realm plants for Hunter on their anniversary

-Has no real idol/role model

-Happily Listens to everyone else ramble about their interests

-Wears Hunter’s Wolf Shirt

-Calls Hunter “Hun” as a short for his name, started doing it even more after she figured out what it actually meant

-Pranks people she doesn’t like by putting giant Grape Vines around their house

-Held a presentation about plant care for the Gravesfield Gardener Society

-Thinks most Human Sports are boring(Except for Hockey and Roller Derby)

Vee

-Pulls off some crazy ass cosplays

-Knows how to drive Camila’s car perfectly, still has no idea how it actually works though

-Laughed so hard she couldn’t breathe first time she heard Metal Pipe Fall Sound Effect

-Considers Luz to be her Sister, Camila burst into tears and hugged her when she called Luz “Big Sis” in front of her for the first time

-Plays Minecraft on Camila’s home PC, has spent tons of time on Hypixel and built a little shrine for the other basilisks on a private world

-Takes after Luz in a lot of ways

-Is way better at Spanish than Luz, flexes about it constantly(Nobody really cares)

-Had no idea how to tell Masha she was a Basilisk when they confessed to her(Masha knew long before she told them)

-Is really cuddly in Basilisk form, not so much when shapeshifted(“I don’t really feel like it’s myself”)

-Her first kiss with Masha was really awkward, she apologised like 45 times and cried because it wasn’t good

-Steven Universe is a canon IP in the universe, so she got really confused when Amethyst sounded EXACTLY like her

I have no idea why I made this

[thedemigodoracle]

Please read:

Ok, so as I jokingly said before “I’m back.” - I’m not joking, I am back.

Not entirely yet but here are some things to wait for in the near future.

Before I list it I need to browse fast through the real life stuff first so bear with:

- one of the reasons I did go missing from art and fandoms in general wasn’t just the ammount of books but also family situations, depression, relationships and in the last few years I lost grandma, grandpa and even my mother to a disease they don’t have it diagnosed yet because it was so rare.

Obvsly took a major hit to my mental health and the ability to write and just have energy kinda left me. I’m handling it I’m in therapy. This is all we need to talk about it.

- it’s been over ten years since some of your fave fics have been updated and while both Clichesbullet on ff.net and thatu on DA will be there and won’t be deleted HERE are what’s to expect:

1. My endgame here is reading the books back and forth again, as well as other source

Material for other fandoms I will

Be publishing for.

-updating the old fan mixes and uploading it to Spotify so it’s more accessible and going back (when possible to art).

- I will use AO3 some new aesthetics and user name (though probably just thatu) and edit a lot more to fit what I believe is better not because the world changed in general but because so

Did I.

Some of the racism and homophobia will still be there are these are the characters having flaws whose arcs weren’t complete but lots of it will also be changed because I’m 34 now I also the world is changed and some stuff just wouldn’t fly and I kinda hate it (but the old material is still there available on the old

Accounts).

- I’m not sure technology will be adapted but some references will here and there and I can clearly deliver something better now that I’ve taught English for over half of my life and am taking a masters degree on translation studies.

- real life will get me too busy sometimes so please I hope you’re excited but I know lots

Of you also have jobs or even families. So leave reviews and keep

Me company but also understand I was bad at updating before even with better time

Management this is will be a ride.

- I’m doing this to prove myself I can do and make good things.

- This site as well as the thatu blog will be updated.

- if you were a follower and have deleted your tumblr or changed usernames please leave a reply with who we were because I’ve had an eventful few years. I remember most of you, but I may need a nudge.

- both my writing and art style have developed and so did my world views - stuff will look different but hopefully still bring you comfort. And laughter.

And tears…?

- there will be some one shots posted focusing on stuff like grown up characters and new knowledge

We now have though the characterization will still follow the book ones as that’s how I kinda got used to it.

- I’m back but I’ll be getting back slowly and posting updates here. Tell ur friends who haven’t been here in a while but used to be part of our group of

Weirdos.

- I missed being a fandom person and hopefully now I can find solace in you guys back again.

- some new fandoms will pop up, as will

Some

Ships (see what I did there? Find solace? Will some ships? Hehe).

-Some extra texts will be added to whatever adaptations I make especially regarding transphobia and HP though I do intend to finish my Hannah/Neville story.

- maybe I’ll write original

Stuff too who knows?

Also, I missed you, spread the word. There’s a brand new old me in town. New ships, new views, new one shots, edits, a very different music taste (actually no I just added more stuff) and a lot of improved knowledge of vocabs and world geography.

Please spread this to whoever you think might be interested. It’s not popularity or anything, I’m trying to get back some pieces of me I lost along the way and writing and drawing used to be FUN and help me make FRIENDS.

I’ll keep u posted once everything is at least remotely ready to go.

And omg you’ll finally know what Silena had on clarisse.

Oh and I’m still not for writing smut but there will be more Adult/Mature like material as some ships require it and I am older. No minors having descriptive s*x

Of course but u know it’d feel weird to talk about these huge ass long relationships and not bring it up naturally.

Anyway, reply to this with whatever. Leave a like or something too but mostly leave a reply so we can start this journey together -

New younger fans are also welcome I’ll make my best to keep this space as safe as possible!! I teach kids and teens and I’d kill for u to have a place to be you safely.

Also there will now be additions on author notes for whether a ship is canon or fanon what I adapted and new fandoms new ships and trigger warnings before sensitive chapters that deal with stuff that before I wouldn’t.

Love, I’ve missed this,

thatu.

[circusmothman]

Hello, it's been a while, sadly I am writing this today to make a not so fun announcement.

As most of you are likely aware already, Automattic, thus Tumblr, is going to be partnering with AI companies, selling our art and data to be used as training for their shitty models.

While I haven't had the time to make a public stance about this topic here before, I want to clarify now that I do not condone the use of ANY of my content in AI. I have nothing but resentment for that garbage and hate how it's been slowly seeping into everything. I'd rather keep struggling through burnout forever than even once make use of this thing. Art means the world to me, and as frustrated as it can make me, this it not the way to remedy that. But I won't go into the full ins and outs about this now. The main point is none of my creation is to be made part of that. Ever.

So I have been thinking hard about this the past few days, ever since the original info was leaked that this would be happening. And I am sad to say that going forward I will not be posting new art or writing here anymore. Tumblr might have given us the option to opt-out, but already the fact that this wasn't the default setting is show enough that they cannot be trusted, and I do not wish to supply a platform with my art when they still very easily could go behind my back and sell it off to the machine. The fact they support that garbage to begin with is bad enough. Not to mention that I do not trust fucking OpenAI and Midjourney to ever even honor that setting. Yeah no.

And yes, I am aware my artwork has already been long scraped off google and what not simply because it's been posted on public profiles and crawlers have been all over that for over a year now. But in this case it's a matter of principle, the crawlers are blatant theft, they took what they were never allowed to, and Tumblr is currently putting out the message that if you keep posting here, you are basically consenting to have your creation taken away and misused. And that is not a stance I wish to humor in the slightest.

So as sad as I am about this... that's it. I don't think there is a point in deleting my already existing posts. Although I would still encourage everyone to save any of my artwork or writing you are particularly fond of, I am ok with people just downloading things to keep. Just don't reupload, monetize, or use it for AI, obviously, and don't claim as your own. Because there might still come a time I just nuke everything because of this garbage.

As for where to from now.... I don't know. Normally people plug their offsite accounts at this point. But I don't have anything worth plugging anymore. Deviantart was my old hub but the decline that's been happening there for literal years, plus several other issues, makes it so that I barely post there anymore, and I have no intention of giving it a full revival. I also have a furaffinity but I hardly post there either, but that's just because I don't quite vibe with the platform, not any issues with them directly. Tumblr really was the last place I really felt comfortable sharing the majority of my art, and now that's gone too. And while a friend has offered to get me on Pillowfort, which I might accept eventually, for now... I am just so fucking tired. I am exhausted of platforms having 0 respect for their userbase, of being driven out by one thing or another only for it to happen again in the next place.

I still have so much to say, to do, to share, so many stories yet untold, and if it wasn't for that bleeding burnout and depression I likely would have gotten far more done. But for now that's it, thank you to everyone who has supported me through the past few years and shared the passion and love for this fandom. I will still be around and the askbox is always open, but otherwise I will update you on when and if I have found a new place to setup camp.

Take care, fuck AI, and fuck shitty CEOs.

[c28hunter]

Man, I don't know what else I could say now, just thanks for the info anon // Kelly’s racism and her support for bolsonaro are sadly just the tip of the iceberg I fear. But people don’t care about the bad things Kelly did/does in her life because she shared pictures of max and let’s people live through her account and let’s them have “access” to boyfriend!max and dad!max content. Also every single time Kelly is in hot waters because of her own actions she doesn’t post for like 1/2 weeks and everything is forgotten.

I was like you and knew nothing about her at first when I got back into f1. I just saw people complaining how Kelly is getting “so much hate” because she is simply dating max. Then I saw her posting her propaganda for bolsonaro and started looking into him and the terrible things he said and does/did. I also took a closer look at her highlights especially during the beginning of covid or at her feed. How she used a holocaust memorial in Berlin for a photoshoot of herself posing on top of it. Or her barely naked <1 year old daughter many times and fully naked daughter as well. Or how she has group chats with her fans on Instagram. Mind you her fan accounts are run by 13-15 year olds. Maybe some are older now but they were and still are currently 13 year olds that run fan accounts for her that are in contact with her. She shared private information about max, herself and their travel plans (that not even red bull or maxs family knew at the time) with her minor fans.

One positive thing I can say is that her first story about Palestine/Israel was nice and I also believe genuine but the rest were not. She always times the stories about Palestine with ads on her feed. She has huge gaps between talking about it too. I believe the last time she shared more than 1 story was in February or March and she posted a few stories about a photoshoot she arranged for herself, then like 2/4 stories about Palestine, a post on her feed about the pictures she had taken on the streets in Monaco and some more stories. I don’t have the exact order in my head because it has been a couple of weeks but it was something around that.

But I absolutely understand you right now too. I liked her content because of her aesthetic a while back. But your drawings look nice. You have talent.

If you truly want to look into the things Kelly did that are not cool and correct there are a few blogs on tumblr that talk about it and I’m pretty sure you’ll find them without that much effort because they have gotten quite famous across multiple social media apps.

Ah yes, tbh it looks like one more example of that rich girl who grew up without any struggles and has no idea where the line between good taste and promotion is. This is just disgusting.

As much as I don't think that, if you are a celebrity you don't have to post about Palestine/Israel all the time but if you do, then have at least some human decency and don't post about your own achievements minutes after. Just have some taste.

And group chats with minor fans? Jesus, that is just... Ugh

I think I wanted to see Kelly as someone more than just a pretty face and a daughter of a rich daddy, but yet again I reckon I was wrong.

Thanks for more info, that really gives me a fuller picture

And thanks for the compliment of my art and for being understanding. When I first saw an anon ask I was slightly worried that I'll get threats and just hate for the drawing, but luckily it wasn't the case

[fayesdiary]

Happy 2nd Anniversary!

Hello everyone!

Today marks the second anniversary of this blog! Wow, I can't believe it's been two years already! (Note, I created the blog earlier but February 4th 2019 was my first original post here so I use that date as the blog's birthday)

I'm honestly suprised this blog lasted this long, since I'm a very shy person usually on the Internet and commitment isn't exactly my strong suit. But what can I say? I love it here and Tumblr feels like home at this point!

To celebrate I'm gonna reminisce a little bit and write down my thoughts about this blog. It's gonna get really sappy, I'm sorry.

Just kidding. I'm not sorry at all.

2022 has truly been the year of all time. A lot and I mean a lot of ups and downs. I started and ended my first job, went on vacation, had one of the worst instances of allergy + depression, you name it. In hindsight, every few months I was in a wildly different situation and mental state.

But the thing that overall made 2022 great was finally getting into art! To turn the ironic hate off for a moment, I love Fire Emblem. It's not my favorite series (Kingdom Hearts and Kirby share that position), but it's one I still adore and now am truly greatful for, because for a reason or another it was the only one it felt welcoming enough to me to actively make an account about it and be active in social media rather than a ghost after years.

Before I made this blog I wrote a few supports for the fire-emblem-heroes-supports blog. I think they were the first piece of writing I ever made willingly and not as part of a school assignment, and looking back I still cherish them.

Eventually I had the idea for this blog, and after a lot of hesitation in typical me fashion, fayesdiary was born! I mentioned it a few times already, but originally it was meant to be just meta analysis posts, a few headcanons and theories and my sporadic writings. Overtime though it became a lot more freeform in what I posted, and I think it's all the better for it!

I got the courage to write and posts my first fanfictions and slowly carved my own personal space here on Tumblr. Like, a very cozy rat hole. Over time, this blog became a personal hobby and it gave me a lot of satisfactions. I got close to some people I truly admire and made a few friends too!

And boy, then we get to last year, which has been an absolute blast in terms of creativity!

I don't think I ever had in mind making a dialogue dump website of Awakening, but it happened and I had a lot of fun making it and giving it a lot of tiny details! ...even if its layout has the stability of a Jenga tower and it's just the Gangrel arc. Whatever. It's the thought that counts.

I wrote a bunch more! Not as much as I wanted, but I made some stories I'm really proud of. And I took part in a few fandom events and not just one but two Secret Santas for the first time!

I took a shot at making wallpapers and made some I'm really proud of, especially the Three Hopes ones. They were so fun to make and the process was just tons of fun!

And that leads nicely to... making art.

See, the thing about me is that I always sucked at making art. I couldn't keep my hands stable, I am incredibly clumsy and I couldn't draw anything more complicated than simple childlike doodles. And while I loved painting, the fact I felt incapable of making anything good or that I could like lead me to not even bothering to try. Why bother if you're just gonna be disappointed and frustrated, after all?

Until I got into group painting at around July, and I loved it. I made some paintings I truly like, and that eventually gave me the courage to start drawing again. As a half-joke. Only this time, I decided to draw with references, and my whole world got upside down. Turns out I could actually somewhat draw if I had a reference! And somehow I never realized it in years!

Something clicked. I figured it'd just be a thing I'd do for a week at most and then drop like so many other creative projects of mine, but... it stayed. Not only that, but I got more invested into it. I went from physical to digital (with the mouse!), and eventually shifted to a graphic tablet a friend lent me (and then pretty much gifted me). Eventually the drawings became so many I decided to make an art blog! Me! An art blog! The me from even just early 2022 would have called you insane if you said it! And now not just that, but I'm even making preparations to open a Redbubble shop! I still can't believe it!

And a huge part is thanks to this blog, really! It gave me and still keeps giving me the courage to try new stuff, find new friends and people who inspire me, and lets me know people enjoy what I make or say. It's amazing, and it makes me feel so happy!

I'll be honest, I am grateful to this blog. It truly helped me get into a better place, and I can confidently say ever since I opened it I feel a lot happier. And that's coming from the local cynical bastard who usually hates themselves, but now? I went from hating myself to being neutral at worst for the most part. Even if I still have my moments sometimes, but that's normal. And now I actually have hope for the future!

But really, it says a lot that for once at the New Year party I wasn't the one who claimed the next year was going to suck. Heck, I was actually caught off guard when one of my friends said it and I said no, it's gonna be good!

Anyway, enough rambling. What I want to say is, thank you for everything. Thank you to the people who complimented me or even just commented on the things I made. Thank you to my mutuals and anonymous lurkers. Yes, I know you're there, I was and often still am one of you. And most of all, thank you to all my online friends I made here on Tumblr. When I think about it, we haven't known each other for that long, but I want you to know now I can't imagine a life without you and you brighten my day every time we chat. I love you so much and I wish you nothing but the best<3

Here's to plenty more years of this blog!

[kenthenugget]

How Batching Comics Saved My Life

Jesus its been...quite a while since I last posted onto any of my tumblr accounts. Its not that I didn't forget that I had an account here, its just that I've been busy with school and my drawing Crescent Blue. Meaning any free time I have is limited which results in me neglecting like half of my socials. Comics and college has made doing social media difficult. That and I wasn't sure how to handle 2 out of the 3 tumblr blogs I have. But I've thought that I had use this specific blog for text blog posts, along with drawings I'm working on and stuff like that. Most of it will be a lot of writing type stuff like this so this should be fun. Anyways, onto the topic I wanted to talk about.

I've been drawing Crescent Blue for coming on 4 years now. And those 4 years were spent drawing its first Chapter. Its overly long chapter. I have realized the mistake I made back when I was prepping to draw it back in 2019, where 16 year old me who had never drawn a comic at this scale decided to go out adapting the opening chapter draft which was written to be the length of a double length tv show pilot (because that's how wrote scripts back in the day) without realizing the implications of how many pages I would have to draw, and that maybe I should've done more prep work to make sure I wouldn't be working on it well into college. Because I probably would've gotten burnt out with it after being stuck on it for so long. And that would end up happening when 2021 rolled around. Thanks to mental health struggles I faced through out 2020, which lowered my tolerance to drawing comics which I didn't enjoy, I had drawn a total of 28 pages by going into the new year. Feeling ashamed of that pace, I managed to motivate myself and make it a new years goal to devote more time to my comic and get faster in order to complete my first chapter. This manifested in a couple of ways, from illustrating backgrounds in graphite as to avoid inking them and potentially screwing them up, to manning up and move to drawing it digitally as opposed to traditionally (I did not have access to photoshop or a good drawing tablet when I had started so I did what I had always done and use paper, pencils and inking pens/brushes. However, I would get my XP Pen Artist 12 for my 17th birthday 2 months later, and I would be able to use photoshop at home by early 2020). But what I mostly did was focus on drawing pages more, moving onto the next one after finishing the last one without taking a break. Basically muscling my way through with the expectation that I would eventually get faster. This did not work, and here's why.

This one by one approach isnt bad on paper, and there are plenty of artists out there that drawing comics this way and don't have any issues. For me, the issue I found with this process was that it didnt lend itself very well to spend. Not all pages are created equal, taking longer or shorter to complete depending on the complexity of the drawing. In my experience, there were pages that took only a couple of hours to complete, and others that took days to get done, and this isn't factoring in stuff like school. This aspect brings up the problem with me muscling through pages. There are times where I dont want to work on my comic, and often times after I would finish a page, I wouldn't have enough motivation to get to the next one. But in my attempt to not spend years drawing my first chapter, I would force myself to draw pages even when I didn't want to. This results in numerous cases of burnout and art block, which can cripple you and slow you down, defeating the point of muscling through it all. One notable instance of this I can remember happened in February last year.

By July of 2022, I would've been drawing Chapter 1 for 3 years and as my new years resolution, I wanted to get it done by that time. I had made great progress in 2021, catching up to page 75 by the time of new years, and I felt confident in my ability to get it done that year. That hope was shattered when I did what I had done with one of my pages and complete a future page ahead of time. Said page was the last post I made on this blog which I've actually completed a few weeks ago. The numbering for that page is 148 (was probably lower last year as I did end up adding pages during that time thanks to rewrites). And at that time, I had just passed the 80th page mark. It was then that I realized the implications of what I needed to do in order to get Chapter 1 done that year. I would've had to draw more than double the amount of pages I had drawn in 2021, and given the way I was drawing comic pages at the time, I knew deep down that wouldn't be possible. But not wanting to admit it, I tried muscling through the pages I was working on, hoping that if I pushed myself beyond my limit I would miraculously become faster and more efficient. But that didn't happen. The stress caused by my realization and the refusal to accept it caused me to become more and more agitated, which caused me to make errors and not draw as well as I would've wanted. Said agitation also clouded my thoughts and made drawing more and more difficult as soon as I knew it. I had burned myself out.

I think I've done a good job at laying out why this method didn't work for me, and if I was still drawing comics this way, I would not be finishing my first Chapter this year. And at this point, I would like to take a moment to shout out @the-underground-beauty. If it hadn't been for her, I not have found out about batching and I wouldn't have been even close to ending this long ass chapter. I was in a discord call with them and other art friends I knew, and I talking about ways of becoming faster at completing pages. They explained that they batched multiple pages instead of drawing them one by one like I had. Like, you would do the layouts for one page, then you would do the layouts for the next page, same goes for sketching and inking. This makes it so that instead of dumping all of your energy into one page, you're spreading that work into multiple pages and thus, become more efficient. Now you might be wondering how this would be better than my old method. Wouldn't working on multiple pages at the same time instead of going one by one be worse? In my experience, it's the complete opposite.

Along with the upsides I've mentioned above, its also very flexible in regards to inking/coloring. In the past, I found myself getting board with pages and wanting to move onto the next one but couldn't because I had to finish the one I was working on. I don't need to worry about that with batching. I can go in chronological order or skip pages to come back to them latter. This can be very handy when it comes to complex pages that would take a lot of time to complete. If Im not feeling up for it at that moment, I can just skip that one and come back later once I feel ready. It also points out the most time consuming part of drawing comics, sketching. Inking is one thing, but when you're doing a lot more work when doing the sketches. And depending on what the storyboards call for, the sketching process for a given page can take a pretty long time and a lot of energy. But with the batching process, the energy I would've spent finishing said page with inking and shading/coloring can be better spent on other pages. This means that I would need to worry a whole lot when inking as most of the hard work was done prior.

Batching also helps with putting what you're working on into perspective. Throughout most of my time drawing my comic, I found it difficult to view the pages I'm working on as being apart of a much larger story, rather than on a page by page basis. I would spend so much time on them that I would view the page I was working on as being its own separate thing, unrelated to the pages that came before or after. Batching, in a way, solved this issue, because now that Im working on a part all at once instead of going page by page, it helped me view what I'm working on as being pieces of a story, rather than being their own thing. I felt that the pages I was batching had more unity to them than the ones before it. Its difficult for me to describe this feelings, because I would always get it when finishing a part and rereading it. Pages that would take weeks to complete took more a couple of minutes to read, despite the specific pages taking so much time to finish. I haven't had that feeling after adopting batching as my new method of drawing comics, since every page all at once.

But how has it worked in practice? Well to see if batching was effective or not, I decided to batch the remaining six pages of what would by episode 7 on CB's tapas page. I got those done in a week. And 2 months later in May, I began work on pages 95 through 105 and this was the true test to to see if batching could really be effective for an entire part. I got it done with in a month. The after that wasn't as successful, but I mostly contribute it to external factors that had nothing to do with batching. At the start of this year, I decided to ditch the part by part method and go at the remaining 67 pages of Chapter 1 all at once. At the time of writing this, I'm still not finished with this Chapter yet but I don't expect it to be for quite long. I anticipate on wrapping it all up around June of this year. So with all this being said, I think I can conclude that batching comics has been way more effective in terms of speed. Over a 100 pages over the course of one year, way more than I had in the past with the old method. If I hadn't switched up the way I had been drawing comics back in March of last year, I don't think I would've come this far! Now I am aware that batching might not work for other artists, and that's fine. But if you are in a place like I was and want to get pages done quicker, I suggest giving it a try and see if it works for you or not :)

[merlumina]

hi there, tumblr

So after quitting all other social media (twitter, instagram, facebook), I found myself 1) pretty lonely tbh and 2) at a loss for how to keep myself creatively motivated and inspired with nowhere to share my work. I'd heard from several people that tumblr is way more chill these days, and while I hesitated at first, I finally decided to give it a try. After a few weeks of waiting from tech support to regain access to my account (pro tip: don't sign up for anything important with your college email address), I regained access yesterday and spent some time doing some tidying up (i. e. deleting most of my old posts and likes).

So...hi! Feels weird to be back. Life has changed so much in the past seven years. It was interesting going back through old posts to relive those times. Since I was last here, this is what I've been up to:

hollowforest and I got married in 2020. While he was unfortunately not able to propose to me at MAGFest after a particularly victorious round of Gundam Xtreme VS, which would have been rad, we settled for eloping at county jail, which is also a cool story.

Ringo, my cat, is still with us! But now we also have a dog, Haru (named after Persona 5 Haru). Yeah I like dogs now. I like pitt bulls now. 2012 me would never.

After years of self-doubt and self-loathing about my life choices, I actually became what I wanted to be when I grew up - a software developer! In late 2020 I took the plunge to do a coding bootcamp and got really lucky being hired into an apprenticeship program before I'd even graduated. Now I'm making those big coding $$$ working from home, literally living the dream and still kind of in awe.

I joined the Diagnosed with ADHD in My 30s club! (Also, I'm in my 30s now)

We bought a house in October, 2022! I did not think it would be possible for the longest time, but due to the big job upgrade we were finally able to afford it.

I've played a lot of video games, but not beaten that many.

I picked up game dev as a hobby and have made a few small games during game jams.

My mental health is overall a lot better now! Part of that is from therapy, part of that is from self reflection, part of that is maybe just growing up. See also: quitting aforementioned social medias.

Improved mental health aside, my hangups about my artistic abilities and creative capacity still haven't improved any in the past 10 years. It's one of my biggest personal insecurities, but also one of the reasons I'm trying Tumblr again! I wanted somewhere to post my practice routine to keep myself accountable, as well as a place to get inspiration from other artists.

I'm going to make a concerted effort to keep this blog focused on art and personal things that make me happy. After I left Tumblr in 2016 I started working on myself and trying to focus on bringing more empathy into my interactions with others. Whether or not I've been successful at that is another matter, but in general it has helped me be a happier person. I am not interested in participating in Discourse. I don't think you can judge the "goodness" of a human based on a handful of things they've said/done online, and I won't be made to cast judgment on anyone. I think we should spend less time tearing down people in our own communities and more time asking why it's so easy for the people in power to trick us into fighting each other. In general, the overall vibe that everyone's social media account is a personal soapbox where they can make declarations about what is Right and what people Should be doing makes me uncomfortable. So I'm going to try not to do any more of that here. I do like still having those discussions sometimes, but I prefer a more personal venue, where I feel like I'm talking with people rather than at them.

Let's be cool to each other! -Liz / merlumina

[bananastarion]

hello :)

I saw your post about you deleting your own art. I think a lot of people on here know the feeling, I know I certainly do. I immediately felt weirdly grandmotherly about what you said in your tags, like, oh no! oh poor baby! here, have some raisin cookies and some tea, let me hug you, nanny's here or whatever X)

I have deleted some stuff in the past as well (I write). It can feel better this way, it's a kind of mental hygiene, yea?

But listen, honey. That's the point. I'm making a bit of an assumption here, but to me it's downright terrifying to post the thing I've poured my heart and soul into and send it out into the webs. Maybe it's a little like taking your kid too school for the first time. If it (your art) doesn't do as well, if, for some reason, it doesn't seem to resonate with your audience as much as it does with you, that's incredibly hurtful.

So, because I feel that pain, I really do, I'd like to share THE best creative advice I've ever gotten:

When I was experiencing bad writer's blog, a GORGEOUS writer here on tumblr whom I admire very much, said this: "We (writers and artists) are capable of an incredible feat of self love. Ideas build up in our heads, long before we start actually creating. Then, one day, out of the blue, we sit down and type the first word" (or draw the first pencil stroke in your case, yes?) "people who don't create, have no idea how much it takes to do that." And that will probably never change. Sad, but true. That is sometimes reflected in the amount of response we get. (fuck notes am i right) Letting yourself get too dependent on that can feel really poisonous. It is, I believe, the exact opposite of that self love. The perceived "love" other people show for our work. It sucks the life right out of you. Everybody feels the need for that praise. When we fall in love with another person, we feel the same urge to tell them and shout it out into the world. But we also have that instinct to keep it (the love, the art) to ourselves, protect and shelter it. Think of a teenager in love for the first time. They may be more likely to blurt it out, unaware that people don't always respond to us as tenderly as we may wish. And that hurts, like hell.

But no matter how frustrated you get, always, always try to find your back to that! The self love! And self love doesn't mean seeing no flaws in your art, never criticizing or questioning what you do and how "well" you do it. It means to KEEP DOING IT, no matter what. Take breaks if you need to, breaks are great. But always get back to the self love. That is why we do it, I think.

So post if you feel ready for it. Or don't if you need to swaddle that babe for a little while longer (what). But keep creating and keep loving it.

If you need a partner in crime and art, please: feel free to hit me up anytime. We could be accountability buddies, or art buddies or the agony-that-is-the-creative-process-buddies, or just friends :)

And if this monstrositiy of unsolicited advice is totally missing the point, feel free to ignore me. :)

Sorry it took me a minute to get back to you, I've been super busy this week helping my dad plan a wine dinner ahdjkfh it's a whole thing... anyway.

It was really kind of you to take the time to write all of this for a stranger, so thank you. I used to be a prolific writer and artist, it would just flow out of me effortlessly. It was never on a professional level or anything, but I didn't do it to impress anyone. I did it entirely for myself.

Then some things happened in my life that destroyed my confidence (not just in my art, but in general) and my creativity suffered immensely. I developed a terrible block that has lasted for years, with no end in sight. Every time I try to get back into things, I find myself frustrated that my output isn't even close to par with what I had done years ago. And most of my work from the past has been lost or destroyed, so I have nothing to show for it. It feels so frustrating, like some part of me has been lost that I can't recover, and now that I'm older it feels too late to bother trying to get it back. So when I finally, actually try while fighting my block every step of the way, putting in a tremendous effort for a lackluster result, only to have my perceptions (seemingly) confirmed by receiving no validation, it really hurt me in a way I wasn't expecting it to. I was considered a prodigy as a child, but my skills quickly stagnated and declined as I got older due to mental health issues... I feel like I let everyone who once believed in me down. Even my own mom, who has a masters degree in art, said "You were good for a child, but you're just not very good anymore. Maybe it's time to find something else", and that was kind of the final nail in the coffin for me.

I think you hit the nail (different nail than the one in the coffin...lol) on the head, that it's not my creativity I've lost, but my self love. Your insight was beautifully said, and rings true. Sorry to just dump my life story on you here, but thanks for listening and caring. It sounds like you can relate, and I'm sorry that you can, but I'd be happy to help encourage you and engage with your creative work as well! Hit me up any time! You seem like an awesome person, and your message was in tune and on time for me. :)