#toodle fucking oo

[levbolton]

Genocide aside, Reaver’s biggest sin is being British

[carmelasopranono1defenseattorney]

i love how richie keeps committing aggravated assault and is basically like. stalking tony and infiltrating his family and tony's response has just been to take him to a mall and yell at him lmao

[theresebelivett]

@dazedrhapsody

God, i couldn't sleep all night, i was so embarrassed.

— THE SOPRANOS 2.03: Toodle-Fucking-Oo

[thesoldiersminute]

THE SOPRANOS Season 2 | Episode 3 "Toodle-Fucking-Oo"

[oh2e]

Jamie and Malcom’s loving phone call in In The Loop, script vs film

[image description: two photos of Malcolm and Jamie’s lines from the BBC script followed by six images of Malcolm and Jamie’s conversation going back and forth between them. Jamie is standing in a large hall in London and Malcolm is walking down a corridor in New York.]

Script:

Jamie:

Okay, your phone's off, which means you've been shot dead by a fat American, but there's been a fucktastrophe. Someone's leaked Liza Weld's Pwip Pip paper to the BBC. I reckon it'll be on the six O'Clock news here, one o'clock your time, so it's going to fist your fucking vote apart. Missing you loads, pwip-pip, toodle-oo!

Malcolm:

Okay Jamie, this is your mission, should you choose to accept it. Find out who leaked Pwip Pip. Jump up and down on them until they are dead. Then find out who's got it at the BBC. Go over there and waterboard them with their own fucking frappacino. We need them to dither about until after the vote, yeah? Then it's all fist bumps and shooty fucking bang-bang. I love you.

Film:

Jamie: OK. Your phone is off, but there's been a catastrofuck here. Someone's leaked Liza Weld's PWIP PIP paper to the BBC.

Malcolm: [listening to his voicemail] Jesus Christ!

Jamie: I reckon it's going to be on the six o’clock news, one o'clock your time. That is going to fucking fist your UN vote to death. [To someone out of view] Hey you! Freeze! [To phone] Right. Missing you loads. PWIP PIP, toodle-oo.

Malcolm: OK, Jamie, two jobs. Job one. Find the PWIP PIP leaker and kill them. Job one has two parts. Job two. Go to the BBC and find out who's got it there. We need them to delay till after the vote. Yeah? I love you.

[mysticstarlightduck]

Character Voice Tag

Thanks for tagging me @thepeculiarbird (here)! I'll go with the cast of Scrapyard Boys.

My phrase: "No one told me I wasn't allowed to kill them !"

Valen: "Oh, fuck off. Nobody told me I wasn't supposed to kill 'em - besides, if that fucker didn't wanna die, then they shouldn't have started chasing us in the first place."

Luke: "What?" (laughs, slightly manic) "They were a problem. Now they're not. Moving on!"

Adrien: "Oh shit - are they actually dead? Like honest-to-fuck Dead-dead?! Oh fuck me, that's just my luck huh. I guess it's Hide A Body Tuesday again. C'mon, ya layabouts let's get rid of the evidence, then we can go order a pizza."

Erin: "The dude was coming at me with a baseball bat! I just reacted! Josh may be an asshole, but that jerk did teach me to throw the first punch so fuck it! What do you mean, 'what am I going to do'? Fuck that, let's just leave the body before anyone sees us."

Maxwell: "(looks at the body, blinks once then twice) Oh shit. Alright, alright, alright, stay calm Maxxie, breathe in, breathe out, think happy thoughts -- I know! (to whoever is with her) I just didn't know it would kill them!!! (calls her dad) 'Okay so, Dad, I'm in a bit of a pickle can you come pick me up? Oh. I may or may not have accidentally blasted someone's eardrums out with my powers, it's a long story -- Alrighty, see ya in five! Thanks!"

Quince: "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh -- (gags). Oh shit, there's so much blood everywhere, oh fuck. I didn't mean to, oh my God, oh my gosh -! Oh damn I boiled someone alive again, oh fuck - it's like a smoothie of guts and viscera all over me oh shit --- (gags again, panic attack starts)"

Emily - "... Well damn. That was - a lot stronger than I had intended that explosion to be, I'm actually kinda impressed. What? That was a really good combustion. Of course, I'm celebrating it! At least it wasn't just a puff of hot air - like that had actual fire in it. I dig this. Aw c'mon! You didn't say I wasn't supposed to kill the maniac with the machine gun."

Josh - "Toodle-oo, fucker! Aw, wasn't I supposed to kill them? Did you want to do it instead? We can find someone else!"

Your Prompt - "Tell me you're not about to do what I think you're about to do."

Tagging (gently): @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @oh-no-another-idea, @littleladymab,

@winterandwords, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart, @ray-writes-n-shit

@writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers, @finickyfelix

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @cakeinthevoid,

@lassiesandiego, @thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams

@wyked-ao3 and OPEN TAG

[mifhortunach]

Emily St. James' Sopranos Reviews for the AV Club

Season One The Sopranos 46 Long & Anger, Denial, Acceptance Meadowlands & College Pax Soprana & Down Neck The Legend of Tennesse Moltisanti & Boca A Hit is a Hit & Nobody Knows Anything Isabella & I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano

Season Two Guy Walks Into a Psychiatrist's Office... & Do Not Resuscitate Toodle-Fucking-Oo & Commendatori Big Girls Don't Cry & The Happy Wanderer D-Girl & Full Leather Jacket From Where to Eternity & Bust Out House Arrest & The Knight in White Satin Armour Funhouse

Continues under the cut :)

Season Three Mr. Ruggerio's Neighborhood Proshai, Livushka Fortunate Son Employee of the Month Another Toothpick University Second Opinion He is Risen The Telltale Moozadell ... To Save Us All From Satan's Power... Pine Barrens Amour Fou The Army of One Season Four For All Debts Public and Private No Show Christopher The Weight Pie-O-My Everybody Hurts Watching Too Much Television Mergers and Acquisitions Whoever Did This The Strong, Silent Type Calling All Cars Eloise Whitecaps

Season Five Two Tonys Rat Pack Where's Johnny? All Happy Families... Irregular Around the Margins Sentimental Education In Camelot Marco Polo Unidentified Black Males Cold Cuts The Test Dream Long Term Parking All Due Respect

Season Six Members Only Join the Club Mayham The Fleshy Part of the Thigh Mr. & Mrs. John Sacrimoni Request... Live Free or Die Luxury Lounge Johnny Cakes The Ride Moe n' Joe Cold Stones Kaisha

Season Six Pt. 2 / Season Seven Soprano Home Movies Stage 5 Remember When Chasing It Walk Like a Man Kennedy and Heidi The Second Coming The Blue Comet Made in America

[dearest-painter]

Tw: The Devil lettuce

What about demon weed salesman! reader who knock every demon door to door just to sale weed?

Imagine how funny that is like srly there alot of people who commit the most horrendous crime ever to end up in hell then there is demon weed salesman! reader that just sell weed and doesnt even smoked marijuana and also the most sweetest person ever.

Angel Dust: Toots,I been wondering how you end up here in hell anyway.

Demon weed salesman! reader: Well! I sale weed to support my family financially and mentally.

Angel Dust: https://pin.it/og1xuIsDS

You know about those video of cats being in places they shouldn't? Well that demon weed salesman! reader.

Demon weed salesman! reader: Hello! Would like purchase and try some marijuana to get stoned?

Lute: W-WHAT HOW ARE YOU IN HEAVEN!? YOU ARE A DEMON

Demon weed salesman! reader: You could just say no to be less mean yk since you don't want to purchase, toodle-oo!

I like to think Demon weed salesman! reader is really powerful like overlord powerful but isn't aware of it.

Angel

I fucking love Demon weed salesman!reader is a overlord but doesn’t even fucking know it. Demon weed salesman!reader definitely lived with either Husker and or Angel dust which would be even more funnier as they have two people who are like real ass sinners and then there’s just Demon weed salesman!reader

[dr-milfi]

Her face after he asks her this is SENDING me.

S2E3 Toodle-Fucking-Oo

[woozapooza]

The Sopranos: The Verdict

Wow. That was a show. A very good show. Very cynical and depressing, very funny and endearing.

Early on, my impression was that the show was sort of poised between episodic and serialized storytelling. But ultimately, one of my favorite things about the show ended up being how continuous and coherent a story it told. Characters remain relevant long after they die. Lines spoken in season one are deliberately echoed in later seasons: in the pilot, Carmela tells Tony that he’s going to hell, and in “Whitecaps” he throws that back in her face; in the season one finale, Tony tells his kids to “remember the little moments like this that were good,” and in the series finale AJ reminds him of that advice. I love stuff like that. It makes the story feel so alive. 

Favorite character: without a doubt, Dr. Jennifer “Toodle-Fucking-Oo? What the Fuck Was That?” Melfi. I love her dedication to her work; I love her stubbornness; I love her professionalism; I love when her attitude gets in the way of her professionalism; I love her composure with her patients; I love how fiery and messy she can get when she’s not with her patients; I love her emphatic way of speaking; I love her thrill-seeking streak. I love her moral compass. She doesn’t always heed it, and you can disagree with how it’s calibrated, but it is calibrated nonetheless. Am I mixing metaphors? Can you “calibrate” a compass? Whatever. I love her. I could go on and on about her, and I will do so in future posts (for example, I WILL be making a post about The Blue Comet at some point because oh boy do I have thoughts about that episode), but to wrap up this bullet point: she’s one of the greatest characters I’ve ever met. 

Second favorite character: Christopher “I’ve Been Totally Fucking Ostrafied” Moltisanti. Nearly everyone on this show gives glimpses of who they could have been if they’d grown up in a different environment, but in few characters are those glimpses as tragic to me as they are in Christopher. He has a great capacity for violence and recklessness and selfishness, and the life he’s lived has nourished these traits, but there are many signs of who he could have been. There’s his passion for screenwriting. There’s the fact that, however briefly, he considers running away with Adriana in “Long Term Parking.” There’s his fight against addiction, which might be the most impressive effort anyone on this show makes to change for the better when everyone and everything around them is dragging them down.

Third favorite character: It’s gotta be Tony. It’s just gotta. He’s despicable, but he’s not evil. If he was evil, the show would be boring and pointless.

Johnny Sacrimoni is a serious contender for fourth place, and I don’t even know why. I just couldn’t get enough of him.

It’s hard to rank the characters because almost all of them are just SO fantastic in one way or another. The one main character I just didn’t care about was Junior. He just wasn’t interesting to me. But his last scene still made me really sad.

In my mind I have a small canon of Dynamics, which is the word I use for relationships that are (1) extremely important to both the characters and the story and (2) too complex to be given a simple label such as friends, enemies, lovers, coworkers, etc. I am officially declaring Tony and Dr. Melfi a dynamic, so congratulations to them. Tony and Christopher are something very close to a dynamic as well, though they’re disqualified due to being family. (I have a bunch of arbitrary rules for what counts.)

Two most confusing things about the show: 1. The interstate mob politics were often hard for me to follow. 2. There were soooo many characters, I could never keep them straight. I actually have no idea when certain major characters made their first appearance because it took me such a long time to learn their face and name.

I hope Carmine held on to his realization that happiness is worth more than power. He could be the one person to actually change their life. I hope he’s thriving. I hope he’s got more films under his subspecies. 

EDIT: One thing I forgot to say: I don't think I ever cared about a single one of Tony's mistresses.

I could have used less gratuitous nudity, especially since it was almost always women. Honestly, the gender disparity was more annoying than the gratuitousness. Either the women shouldn’t have to take their clothes off so often, or the men should start pulling their weight!

Overall grade: I really, really wanted to give this show an A+. Even after it moved my beloved Melfi to the sidelines, I was still going to put my personal feelings aside and give it an A+. But then in one of the show's few instances of clumsy storytelling, it fumbled her last episode, and I can’t excuse that. It's possible one day I'll forgive it for its sins and bump it back up to A+, but for now, it gets an A.

[softly-n-sweetly]

hi there (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

🩷24, polysexual, trans guy🩷

🩷pls don't call them tits/titz/tiddies, boobs is fine🩷

DNI: minors, homophobes, detrans blogs, transphobes, racists, fat fetish/feeder/feedee blogs.

♡fat fetishists can kindly fuck off♡

I post about somno, but it's all tagged #soft somno or #somno

💛Don't ask to see my main blog💛

Other than that, welcome! ♡ It's a side blog so I can't follow back, but my asks are open and as are my dms! Nsfw asks are allowed, just don't be weird about it :)

Toodle-oo for now ♡

If you know me from my main blog, no you don't (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠) 🔪

🩷some navigation help!🩷

#(⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠) is basically just. things that make me feel like that lol, #♡♡ is my favorites, #sweet somno is my somno writings, #asks🩷 is self explanatory lol, #personal is my own text posts and stuff

[carmelasopranono1defenseattorney]

richie's like tony's big brother, huh... interesting... so last season we have livia, jun, the specter of tony's dead father, in season 2 we have janice, his literal sister, and richie, a metaphorical brother...

[daniegraceg]

Sunshine & Starlight

Summary: You finally meet the notorious brother of your friend Tommy Miller.

You feel an immediate draw to him, and he returns those feelings.

You have a feeling he will become a pivotal part of your life. You're just not sure what that will look like.

Ratings: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

Tags/Warnings: just a lot of setup in this one. Some Angst, teasing. Mentions of sketchy science experiments, torture. SMUT will be coming next chapter.

Can't remember if I've forgotten any others.

Wordcount: ~~ 4K (oops 😳🤭)

Chapter One :: The Meeting

You’re working in the stables the first time you meet Joel and Ellie.

Like nearly every woman in Jackson, you can’t help but notice how good looking he is.

You introduce yourself to them both.

“Hi! I hear you’re this riff raff's brother.” You say as you shake Joel’s hand.

“Riff raff? What’re you, a mob boss from the 20s?” Tommy laughs.

“uh, duh. Can’t ya tell?” you flash a smile to him & laugh.

Joel can’t help but smile when he sees you smile.

“Sadly, my brain went to the Aladdin quote with the riff raff.” You finish. They all just give you a confused look. “oh my God, ya know? Aladdin? Cartoon movie? ‘riff raff! Street rat! I don’t buy that’” you sing the bar from the movie and the adults give you a look that shows they realize.

You roll your eyes. “need to properly educate y’all more on musicals, clearly.”

“Oh Jesus” Tommy rolls his eyes back at you. “hey, when you finish up here, can you put some supplies at the house next to ya? We’re going to have these guys stay there while they’re here.”

“oh, you don’t have to do that, we won’t be here long.” Joel interjects.

“Shush! It’s no trouble.” You say to Joel.

“ya got it!” you direct to Tommy and Maria. “I can have Andrew get some clothes together for you guys too.”

“I appreciate that ma’am, but really, we’re fine-“ Joel starts.

You put your fingers in your ears. “sorry, can’t hear you. I’m already off to do those things!! Toodle-oo!” you shoot Joel a smile before turning and disappearing out the door.

“She seems, weird but fun.” Ellie laughs.

“That’s a pretty accurate description of her” Maria laughs

Tommy catches Joel staring in the direction you just ran off to. Tommy clears his throat and Joel breaks his trance and looks back to him.

Tommy raises his eyebrow quizzically at him and Joel just gives him a look to shut up.

Tommy softly chuckles but can’t help the gears turning in his head.

They walk them around town, giving them the full tour of the town.

You make a welcome basket for them, enlisting your friend Andrew’s help to find them some clothes.

“Sssooo, is he as hot as the town says?” Andrew asks you.

You can feel the heat rushing towards your cheeks.

“Oh absolutely. More hot actually. But also seems a lot sweeter than rumors I’ve heard. But, that’s just my first impression so, who knows?”

Andrew’s eyes widen. “does our sunshine princess finally have a crush?!” he makes an exaggerated shocked face.

“What the fuck. God no. Just cause I’m human and have eyes, doesn’t mean I have a crush. Are we in middle school again?” you roll your eyes at him.

“oh come on, you need to find someone to keep your bed warm” he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

“no” you say shortly.

Ashley over hears y’all and comes up. “why NOT?”

You sigh loudly. “because I don’t need someone to warm my bed. I’m perfectly fulfilled. I got you guys, our other friends, the school, the clinic, the rec center. I don’t have time to date.”

“well what about just fucking?” she asks.

“eh, gets too messy, as y’all have seen with my track record.” You reply, referencing your long list of people in Jackson you’ve slept with, some no longer your friends because they caught feelings and you couldn’t reciprocate.

She eyes you before speaking. “I think that’s cause none of the other people have been able to handle you. You need someone that can handle you and loves all of you.”

“We live in the apocalypse, I think you’re aiming too high.”

You end the conversation there and go to deliver the package to Joel and Ellie.

You get there and see them sitting in the living room with Tommy and Maria.

Knock, knock, knock

“Come on in” you hear Tommy yell.

“Special delivery!” you say in a sing song voice. “got a whole lot of goodies, food, basic supplies, clothes. I think Andrew put in some ‘nicer clothes’ in there too for the party tonight too”

“A party?” Joel and ellie said in unison.

Tommy explains how the town has weekly parties to give people something fun to do.

“and this one here sings and entertains us all”

You let out a snort. “more like they tolerate me and question why this weirdo teaches the kids”

“you’re a teacher?” Joel asks, locking his gorgeous brown eyes on you.

“One of my hats I wear here” you laugh. “in addition to be the therapist, running the rec center, working in the clinic. Plus filling in wherever I’m needed.”

“Wow. Quite the resume.” Joel says to you.

You shrug. “stemmed from just trying to keep busy. Except the therapist part. I did that before the outbreak.”

“impressive” Joel replies, eyes not leaving you.

You laugh, “dunno about that. Getting people to talk is harder than getting the lid off a 20 year old jar.”

The group let’s out a chuckle.

You check your watch. “shit, I gotta go help set up. I better see y’all there or you’ll never hear the end of it from me!!” you wink at Joel before turning on your heels to head out “BBBYYYEEEE!”

Joel has a small smile on his face as he watches you head out the door.

“Jesus, Joel. You’re going to melt a hole right through her” Tommy says to Joel with a laugh.

That gets his attention. “dunno what you’re talking about.”

Ellie let’s out a laugh. “ok sure, whatever you say.”

Tommy laughs too.

“what are you laughing about too?” Joel asks.

“oh, nothing, nothing.” Tommy tries to stop his laugh. “just noticed you staring at her in the stables too.”

“I absolutely was not” Joel replies.

“how many times will he do it without even realizing?” Ellie asks. “a million?”

“probably” Tommy laughs.

“Both of you just shut the hell up” Joel says.

“I think you just enjoy torturing me. Fffaaahhhhhcccckkkk” Andrew is twisting and turning your hair in some weird way.

“You’d think you would be used to this by now” you hear from the doorway and see Olivia coming in.

You turn to see your fellow band mates coming in.

“I never will. Give me a ponytail with a ribbon any day, any time. I just let him do this to be nice”

“Psh, you like looking hot.” Andrew chimes in.

“rude! Am I not already hot?!” you feign hurt.

She just laughs at you “you’re something else.”

“something else like amazing, badass, smoking hot, never wrong, kind, right?” you laugh and flash a smile at her.

“mmhhhmm. Ssuurrreee. Whatever you wanna believe.”

Andrew let’s out a snort, “glad you’re feeling yourself today at least. There. Got your head looking hot instead of a hot mess.”

“oohhh, drew you really went all out with her today. What’s the occasion?” the drummer, Bobby, asks.

“Our girl has a new love interest!! I’m using whatever powers I have to manifest this shit to bring em together.” Andrew proudly proclaims.

“What? No! No love interest here! He’s got it in his head that he wants me to get with Tommy’s brother.” You roll your eyes extra dramatically. “despite us not knowing anything about him, I don’t know how I even feel but he’s over here trying to play cupid.” You say.

“Ooohh Tommy’s brother?” Olivia asks. “is that who was giving you those looks in the stables?” a huge grin is creeping on her face.

“YES!! See! It’s not just me thinking this!!” Andrew exclaims.

“I gotta say, I felt a strong vibe too, Y/N” Bobby pipes up.

“All of you are crazy.” You shake your head at them. “Clearly, you’re bored and just making up scenarios to keep y’all entertained.” An exasperated sigh leaves your mouth.

“why are you against it?” Olivia asked.

“it’s not that I’m against it necessarily. There’s just a lot of other stuff that has my focus, he just got here. Or who knows if he would even want that or be interested. Too many factors undetermined. I’m just not looking to get my heart all fucked up cause of feelings or anything.” You blurt all this out in a rush, the words leaving your mouth before you can even register what you’re saying.

Your confession shocks you just as much as it does them.

“Aww, does our therapist need some therapy herself?” Olivia asks, but doesn’t wait for you to answer. “aren’t you the one always telling us and everyone else “don’t wait to be happy, even if it’s just the possibility to be happy. Tomorrow isn’t promised, so go live and take the risks?”

“Do as I say, not as I do?” you cut in with a shrug of your shoulders.

“Woman, you’re always doing everything you can to take care of everyone else. You need to do the same for yourself. Just take a chance. That’s all we’re saying. When was the last time you’ve even had sex?” she asks, eyes fixed on you waiting for your answer.

“Uuhh, like a year or so? Not sure honestly. And that’s because that one dude caught feelings for me and I didn’t feel the same way and I had to let him down. I hated being the one to do it but definitely don’t want it happening to me. Can’t even trust that people will maintain the friends with benefits shit” you groan.

“Maybe what y’all are supposedly seeing is just built up sexual frustration, just wanting a bang buddy. Which, that I’d be down for. But there’s still the risk of feelings developing.” You finish, hoping they’ll finally drop it.

“Oorrr maybe it can start as that and you BOTH develop feelings and y’all have some fairy tale “happily ever after thing” Bobby adds.

“Yyeesssss!” your group yells out.

“since when did you guys get so romantic. It’s sick and disgusting and I think you need medical attention for it.” You say sarcastically.

“OOKK. How bout this?” Andrew says, “if you don’t at least go on one date with him, I’ll never shut up about it.”

“and what if he doesn’t want to do that? Hmm?” You ask.

“just trust me, he will. Now let’s finish getting ya ready.”

The shirt that was picked out feels tight on Joel’s arms but he kept it on. Ellie had made some creative adjustments to her outfit that Andrew had picked for her.

“well, well, well, you clean up nice” Ellie says and laughs.

“Shut up” Joel replies to her.

Joel and Ellie meet Tommy and Maria at their house and walk together to the hall.

“So they do this all the time?” Ellie asks Maria as you all walk.

“Yup, Y/N actually started it.” Maria chuckles at the memory. “One day after a pretty dicey patrol she was worked up pretty good and declared “I need to wiggle this out” and proceeded to just start singing some song, I think it was from a musical. And then just starts dancing around the room and gets other people dancing too. And everyone loved it and it lifted their spirits so she keeps doing it.”.

“so she just started an impromptu party and people just, went along with it?” Ellie asks, shocked.

Maria and tommy both let out a laugh as Maria says “Basically. She’s a powerhouse when she wants to be. Especially if it means putting a smile on other people’s faces. Plus, she’s really fucking talented honestly. Plays a bunch of the instruments and sings but she’s made a little recording studio so she can prerecord the different instruments she needs to play behind her while she sings.”

“Holy shit” Ellie says, “hey Joel, didn’t you say you played guitar? You should – uh- offer her your assistance” she laughs as she raises her eyebrows to him.

Joel just shakes his head and rolls his eyes at her.

The group walks through the doors and ellie let’s out a gasp when she sees.

Everything is decked out with hanging lights, some multicolored lights that make the space flash different colors, the tables and chairs are moved around the stage and there’s space for people to dance.

They go sit at a table near the front, arriving earlier than most. Joel and Ellie get introduced to more people as they filter in.

When the clock hits 7:30 the lights suddenly go out followed by a bunch of colored lights getting brighter. Then a spotlight goes to the stage and lights you up.

Joel can’t help but stare at you. Your hair is curled and is now purple. You’re in a shiny sequined strapless dress. It makes your breasts even more prominent and Joel is thankful he can disguise staring at you as just watching you perform.

Your dress hugs all your curves and hits you just below your ass, leaving barely anything to the imagination. He forces his focus onto the drink in his hand. Anything to try to think of some thing besides what he wants to do you.

You catch Joel’s eye and flash a smile at him.

Fuck, he thinks to himself, I’m utterly screwed.

“Hey hey people!” you call out through the microphone. “how we doing tonight?!”

A loud cheer erupted from the space.

“Whooo! That’s what I like to hear. We got quite a mix for ya tonight! Lots of different requests from you fine people – so let’s get to it!”

The band starts playing and Joel marvels at how you seem to be in your element as you’re on stage. He notices whenever you catch his eye a blush spreads across your cheeks. He can’t deny to himself that he loves it.

You sing a few upbeat songs before mixing it up with some ones that were requested.

During a slower song, you notice Joel is wearing what Andrew picked out for him.

You decide to say fuck it and use this as an opportunity to be flirty with him. You usually act flirty with the crowd anyways, so you hope it doesn’t look too suspicious.

The song changes to a faster beat & you do your thing, dancing and playing to the crowd. To your surprise, ellie actually gets Joel to get up and dance at one point and they’re both laughing having a good time.

Andrew is off to the side of the stage and gives you a look of approval and pride. He knows exactly what you’re doing and is simply elated.

You all perform the final song and declare “alright, that’s it for tonight my loves. Ya don’t gotta go home but you can’t stay here – unless you wanna help clean up” you laugh.

The crowd starts to disperse and Olivia runs to the bathroom with you to help you freshen up and get the sweat off of you.

“ I am SO PROUD of you!! Look at you, you sultry bitch!” she beams.

“Oh my God, you’re ridiculous” you laugh. “How do I smell? I feel like I worked up a sweat tonight.”

“You smell GREAT.” She says “he’s stupid if he doesn’t want to fuck you.”

“not my goal tonight, or any night.” You remind her.

“but if they end up staying?!” she ask, almost begging.

“small maybe” you reply.

“I’ll take it” she smiles.

You both walk out of the bathroom to see a few people helping to clean up, Joel included.

“Hey Joel! Glad ya made it! You saved yourself me giving you shit anytime I see ya” you laugh and he smiles.

“Well, thank goodness for that” he says with his Texas draw & chuckles. “You were incredible, by the way. I mean- every body was.” He glances over at Ellie. “she needed this, something fun.”

You nodded knowingly. “Every person needs it in this fucked up world. Even dudes who pretend not to give a shit about anything except for their brother and her” you throw a wink at him.

You swear he blushes a bit before muttering “yeah, alright.” With a roll of his eyes

You start cleaning up stuff near him and almost trip but he catches you.

“Fuck, his arms are incredible” you think to yourself “down, girl.”

“Thank you, my hero” you plaster on an over the top accent like you’re a damsel from an old western .

Returning to your normal voice you add, “Andrew, that one over there” you point to Andrew talking to Olivia. “he makes me wears these crazy shoes he makes/finds/repairs. Despite me telling him my ankles are too damn old and damaged for em. Always scared I’m going to just launch myself onto the stage and create and involuntary mosh pit or some shit.”

You sit on a chair and try to bend to take the shoes off. “goddamn it fuck, mother fucker.”

“what’s wrong?” Joel asks

“oh” you laugh. “sorry, Andrew just made this dress so fucking tight at my torso so it makes it a challenge to bend and get my shoes off.”

You swung your leg around a different direction to try to get a better angle. “normally I’m a lot more flexible than this when I’m not being suffocated by clothes”

A blush starts spreading on your cheek but that doesn’t stop you from speaking again. “That sounded dirtier than I intended. But oh well, giggity”

Joel sucks in a sharp breath before he let’s out a laugh, thinking how cute you look when you blush.

“Nah, not wrong at all” his eyes graze over your body before landing on your feet. “Here, let me help.”

Suddenly, he kneels in front of you, holding out his hand for you to place your foot into.

You just stare at him for a moment and he raises his eyebrows at you, silently telling you to give him your feet.

You do as he wishes and extend your leg into his hands.

His fingers graze a sensitive part on your calf before reaching your feet. He gently unbuckles one of the straps, then slides his finger along your foot to undo the other one.

He slides the shoe off like a reverse Cinderella. His fingers dance over your skin, sending electric shocks through you.

He gently places one foot down and holds his hand out for the other and you obey his unspoken command.

He seems to linger his fingers even more this time.

Fingers dancing on your ankle, to the buckle, click.

Fingers dancing to your toes, to the buckle, click.

Fingers dancing back up to your ankle, gliding your shoe off, fingers lazily trailing your skin behind it.

He looks up at you with those damned eyes again and a heat swirls through you settling between your legs.

He clears his throat awkwardly as he places your shoes on the floor. “Better?”

You take a breath, not realizing you weren’t breathing that whole time. ���Much, thank you.” You flash him a huge smile, hoping and praying he somehow doesn’t see the blush on your face. “Such a gentleman. You’re going to spoil me.”

“What’s wrong with that? Beautiful women should be spoiled.” he asks, voice low. Making your insides swirl again.

God damn it.

You’re trying to think of a reply when you hear a loud bang noise.

You both whip your heads toward the noise and see Ellie trying to look casual as she tries to pick up a chair she dropped.

“Ah, a fellow klutz” you laugh and start to stand up. Joel stands and offers you a hand to help get up. “Thanks.”

It’s now that you notice everyone’s eyes were on the both of you during that whole interaction. They all try to turn now and look busy.

“Geesh.” You let out a small laugh as you look up at the clock. “Fuck, is that really the time? I should get going, gotta work early at the clinic in the morning.”

You see Andrew and Olivia give you a dirty look, knowing you said that to avoid being alone with Joel.

You walk to the other room and grab your coat and boots.

“That was hot, even if it was tame.” You hear Andrew from behind you.

“dunno what you’re talking about.” You act dumb, hoping he buys it.

He doesn’t.

“Don’t you bullshit me woman. We could all feel the sexual tension radiating between the two of you.” He says. You just roll your eyes and sigh. “He’s absolutely into you. I bet he’s a real attentive lover.”

“Stop. Please. I – I’m not sure if I could just fuck him and be done. Not if he’s going to be coming around more. So I’m going to avoid that until I can figure out my brain.”

He knows he can’t argue with that, not wanting you to be hurt. “ugh, fine. So you think you might… like him?”

“Dude I have no idea. Maybe? It’s probably just horniness masking itself for something more. But until I know for sure, it’s safest to avoid doing anything.” You’re eyes start welling up involuntarily and you try to sniff them back.

“Oh honey..” Andrew starts.

“It’s fine” you snap, drying your eyes. “just drop it. I’m probably just hormonal. Plus, you know my policy on romantic relationships, I’m good.” Andrew helps you put on your boots and you grab the rest of your stuff as you walk out.

“Ready frendies?” You smile at Joel and Ellie.

Joel notices your face looks… different. Like you’d been crying maybe, or almost crying. He gives you a quizzical look but you avert his gaze. He looks towards Andrew and raises his eyebrow.

“She’s ok” Andrew mouths to him and Joel gives a slight nod.

You step out into the cold and a rush of cold air went up your dress.

“Fuck me, why didn’t I grab sweatpants for the walk home. Come on people! Double time! This bitch needs heat!” you holler before starting to run.

You reach your house first, Joel and Ellie not far behind.

“Wellp, this is me.” You say awkwardly. “are y’all going to be in town for much longer?”

“We’re actually uh, actually headed out in the morning, headed to the university of Colorado.” Joel says.

“Oh.” You say, trying not to sound too disappointed. “You got family there?”

“I’m the daughter of some big wig firefly people as Joel calls em so we’re going to touch base with them, but then I bet we’ll be back, right Joel?” she nudges him with her arm.

“Right, yeah. Tommy’s the only family I got left. But- yeah, after this excursion we should be making our way back here.”

“Good, I’m glad.” You smile.

“I’m going to go head inside. Goodnight! Good meeting you!” Ellie calls behind her.

“You too! Sweet dreams!” You call after her.

Once she was out of ear shot you say to Joel. “Hey, uh, be careful with the fireflies you’re going to meet. I have a feeling she’s not actually someone’s kid there but I’m not going to pry. Just, some of them may mean well but they’re… “ you pause try to think of the words.

“You know fireflies too?” Joel asks.

“Yeah, ran with them for a bit. Actually met tommy briefly through them. A few years later met again here.”

“Small world.” Joel says. He wonders if the two of you ever fucked. He finds himself getting unjustly jealous at the thought.

“Tell me about it” you chuckle softly. “I don’t mean to overstep. I’m not fishing for information from you about what you’re doing. I just know when I was still with them, after Tommy left I think, the doctors were getting desperate to find a cure or preventative. They were getting more… morally gray. Doing experiments on people, kids even, that had been bit. And they did it before they turned… it’s why I finally left. The doctors were basically med school drop outs, thinking they were going to be the next savior.” You scoff and roll your eyes. “Idiot bastards were just cutting into them, thinking that’ll give them the answers, not using any other methods first.”

Tears start to form again but this time from anger.

“I don’t say any of this to deter you. You don’t seem like a man that CAN be deterred once you set your mind to something.” you chuckle awkwardly again. “I just wouldn’t feel right not telling you, so you have the full picture. Maybe they’ve gotten better, I hope so. But that was like 5 years ago so who knows.”

Joel stills for a minute. The closer they’ve gotten he’s been more worried about how the fireflies would actually be.

“Joel?” you say.

“Sorry. Yeah, I really appreciate you telling me all that. I’ll make sure to keep that in mind.”

You let out a sigh of relief. “Ok, good. I’ll look forward to seeing your faces around here once you’re back then.”

Joel’s face breaks into a smile. “That’s definitely good motivation for me to hurry back.”

You blush again, can feel it through your body. There’s no way Joel doesn’t see it. And it’s then that you realize your cleavage is very prominently displayed and the cold is making your nipples stick out through your dress.

Not tonight, not yet. Shut it down. You think.

You chuckle. “Best come back in one piece, sir.”

“That’s always the goal.” You both let out a laugh.

“Well, I really should head to bed, early morning and all. If I don’t see you before you head out, be safe.”

“Always am sweetheart. Goodnight, sweet dreams.” He says.

“You too” you smile and go on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek before going inside.

[aeoris4lovers]

highlights from c1e2:

“clearly we’re idiots— stay with me on this”

song of rest (scanlan make you feel real good)

“i could fit you in my lap” “i’ve killed”

the house of vulva

“i haven’t raged yet? but i’m so angry!”

“🎶nooo motherfucker miss🎶”

umber-snail over the waterfall (“toodle-oo shitface!”)

fleshy undercarriage

“🎶le poisson, lepoisson, hehehe! fuck you bitch!🎶”

“sneak attack into his ballsack! i want to stick it in the back of his spider nads and then rip it up his bum”

“nobody touches my man-wife”

“you can’t inspire a cantaloupe, no matter what you tell the cantaloupe it’s not going to feel better about itself. i’ve tried insulting a cantaloupe, you just don’t get anywhere”

this face:

[whatepisodesopranos]

September 24th, 2023

S2E3 "Toodle-Fucking-Oo"

Original airdate January 30th, 2000

[its-short-for-jackalope]

crack pulp musicals episode 3 theory:

~spoilers for ep 1 & 2 under the cut~

We will see (hear 😉) Benjamin again because after his plan to expose the hoax and make a lot of money was ruined by Sir John Herschel, Benjamin— spurred on by spite and the simple fact that he has nothing more to lose—decides to keep trying. He will expose the hoax... by landing on the moon an entire century early. (dun dun dunnnnnnnn)

this is 99% a joke but listen: the monument is dated August 1865, so we know that however far they went into their future, it is at least 1865, and it's some time after August. maaaaaybe they're in 1869, and perhaps it is even *gasp* July (or June, they'd need time to get back to Benny Boy in the States).

Additional "evidence" to support this theory: 🎶 Planet Earth, eighteen-sixty-nine 🎶 would fit the established rhythm/melody we've had going with dates and stuff.

...really, though, I just think this would be funny. and this idea might’ve been rattling around since my silly silly brain heard "1865" the first time I listened to episode 2 and went

👁👁 ah, the moon landing 👁👁

because

i am fucking terrible at dates, and also

i was still recovering from the unfiltered awesomeness that had just finished reaching into my ears and altering my brain chemistry, so I was temporarily Dumb <3

plus, I mean, the moon is pretty significant to the story & the characters. I'd be shocked if we didn't get any other stories/mentions of the moon. like I really wanna know if/when ppl find out the moon story was all a hoax. are they going to accidentally be kinda correct? are they going to mAKE THE MOON LIKE THEY IMAGINED IT?? the Traveler turned a brick satellite into a jungle paradise, she and/or Margaret could totally do the same thing to the moon, right? RIGHT??! >:0

*ahem*

anyways, I'm sooo normal about this radio show and I have shared my little teehee joke theory, so I will be going now. toodle-oo. ✌🏻